#anyway their relationship is so devastating to me

[swagglessmoth]

Badly made comic of And So The Moon Wept bc it just finished and I’m devastated

‼️CHAPTER 15 SPOILERS‼️

I wanted to make one more page between the second and third bc pacing, but I didn’t wanna rethink all three of those pages’ compositions. It’s pretty ass bc it’s all sketches, but the last ones came out pretty decent I think👍

(Don’t look at the house too closely, I really didn’t wanna look at a reference so I just freestyled it)

Scrapped versions bc idk

Now that that’s out the way, I’ll start with the ranting, you can leave now this is for me

THE ENDING⁉️ DAMN⁉️⁉️⁉️

I would start rereading immediately to see all the details and analyze the psychology of the ‘tsukuyomi world’ characters BUT I unfortunately have my global exams next week 🥲

Warning for -1000 media literacy‼️ while writing all this I remembered that my memory is bad an my analytical skills are even worse! So be warned :p

BUT ANYWAY!! This was a top tear fanfic, seriously at no point did I consider the infinite tsukuyomi as a possibility. And I think this has to do with the fact that the psychology and individual lives of the characters in this dream were so well developed. There’s so many POVs! And they’re so complex and detailed!! Really makes you wonder if this was really the tsukuyomi or if Kakashi’s consciousness was sent to a different world all together. Which is what makes it so terribly tragic. Kakashi lived so many years in this perfect world just to regain all his memories and find out that it really was all fake, a world made up entirely of his own fantasies.

Oh and what a fantasy it was, getting hit by that boulder and fucking dying! The only reason he got to live was bc of ‘Hound’ (which could be interpreted as his consciousness telling him to wake tf up). Everything felt so wrong to Kakashi not because he noticed this things weren’t right, but bc he was never meant to live in this world. This was the prefect reality for everyone around him, his dream, a world without him (FUCK BRO💔💔💔💔). Which is the reason why I think the characters are so three dimensional in this dream, maybe, idk bro I just made this up.

But even then, things don’t exactly add up (if you think about it they do BUT SHHHHHH LET ME DREAM). Why did some characters suffer so much if this was meant to be a better world for everyone else? Why did Rin’s parent’s die? Why did Sakumo try suicide so many times?

We know Rin’s and Obito’s relationship started declining when Rin didn’t believe Obito when he swore up and down that Kakashi was somehow alive (which IS Hound’s fault in a way, he saved Kakashi and that’s why Obito saw Kakashi sinking into the ground, making him believe that Kakashi didn’t die), but it goes farther than that. Rin’s real problem with Obito was that he was so stuck on his dead teammate that he neglected the rest of his living team, Kakashi was literally everything he thought about to the point it started negatively affecting others (which, yeah him being obsessed is pretty normal considering that Kakashi was part of the reason he activated his sharingan and THE reason he activated the Mangekyo). So what did he do? Go hang out with the one other person who would ALSO only think of Kakashi all day, Sakumo. Obito eventually accepted that Kakashi was dead, but he and Rin never reconnected.

Was this really the perfect ending for them? Come on tsukuyomi, you’re more creative than that.

For some reason I think that the tsukuyomi was freestyling all this. Bc (by my interpretation) the point of Kakashi’s dream was that he died at Kannabi Bridge instead of Obito, period. The rest is extra stuff bc their lives have to go on ig? Or maybe the infinite tsukuyomi is really big brained and depicted a realistic depiction of 🖐️🖐️🖐️HOLD THE FUCK UP I’M DUMB I JUST FIGURED SMTH OUT

Bro this is why I need to reread this instead of talking to myself when I don’t remember half the details in the fic.

OK SO HOUND DID FUCK SHIT UP🔥🔥🔥

I was trying to think why Sakumo would be alive (if my shit theory above was true, which it isn’t but I’m not deleting all that) AND IT WAS BC SAKUMO NOT KILLING HIMSELF IS HIS PERFECT WORLD 😭😭😭😭. The one thing I’m not so sure ab is Kannabi (I bet if I keep writing this I’ll find the answer) bc Obito WAS gonna get hit by that rock, but hey, he entered the dream after the Obito reveal so maybe his consciousness already knew he would survive, so maybe he’d just appear later in the dream idk. BUT BRO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WAS HE ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO COME BACK HOME TO HIS DAD??? AND THEN HIS CONSCIOUSNESS KICKED IN AND HE SAVED OBITO INSTEAD??!!,.. oh I’m sick, this is so evil

That would literally make everything make sense. He derailed the dream so bad that it fucked everything up, making it no longer a perfect world but more similar to reality. If he really was supposed to die, then why did his death have such negative repercussions on everyone he loves? It that was his dream, wouldn’t it be a better world with everybody happy? He wasn’t supposed to die at Kannabi but Hound appeared and saved Obito from a rock, causing a massive butterfly effect.

Pretty romantic if you asked me, “I would leave behind my perfect world just to save you form getting hurt” like damn, it’s not like he remembered that Obito survived at this point in time, but still STOPP I’M DOING IT AGAIN I’M FOCUSING ON THE DETAILS AND NOT THE BIGGER PICTURE AAAA

El cazador de elefantes by Def Con Dos is a pretty good song, hm

Where was I going with this? Don’t remember tbh

This is kinda long, I’m stopping here. Bye internet void ✌️

[fist-of-vengeance]

happy father's day everyone ❤️

[qpjianghu]

(...but what if I was?)

Li Lianhua / Li Xiangyi | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)

[plounce]

elle and emmett from the legally blonde musical are one of those m/f couples that i think work best as a woman and a man purely because their relationship and how elle wouldn't stay at harvard for him because she has grown to want true respect & success more than a man she loves' approval/desire is like so important to the themes of the story and it's the whole point and it's part of what makes them so good. on the other hand emmett could be such a hot butch lesbian it's crazy i want to eat drywall when i think about emmett forrest but a butch lesbian BUT it simply would not improve and in fact would detract from the themes of the story. they have to be m/f

[trashlie]

ILY FP 258

I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.

Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.

I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!

That's enough rambling, let's jump in.

There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.

But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.

A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.

This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.

I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.

There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.

As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.

Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.

And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.

How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).

He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.

He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.

And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;

For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.

I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...

Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who  has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.

But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.

I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.

I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.

And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.

Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.

[lonelystarbuckslover13]

I saw someone say they think the fact that there actually weren’t that many songs on ttpd about Joe (as far as we know) is actually a sign of respect for him and I couldn’t agree more. The few songs that are most likely about him aren’t speaking poorly on his character they’re just heartbreaking, and the most vengeful songs on the album are likely about Matty. I feel like so many people went into this album expecting to hate Joe after but instead we just learned what we always knew - Joe was a generally good guy and Matty Healy sucks.

[donaviolet]

Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps

[springypaws]

I cannot over explain how much of a crime it is that Daisy and Basira don’t even have like a goofy ship name like Daisira or something so I am here to coin a name for them AS THEY DESERVE.

My idea is definitely more in the alley of the ship names PrivateEye and Teaholding, and’ll probably be changed at some point, but for now I’ve (at least temporarily) decided on the name “Wolfsbane”, and the reasons behind this are:

Wolfsbane is well known for being a poison. Merely touching the species could lead to loss of sensation in the areas of your body where contact was made (I could ramble about the symbolization that could be found in the roots being the most dangerous parts of the flowers to touch, but I’ll spare you) and they are deadly enough to have been used as a form of execution in Rome. They were also put on the ends of spears and arrows by the Greeks to kill wolves, and many believed them to be a major weapon against werewolves. This reminds me of the inevitability of Daisy’s downfall and her death at the hands of Basira, and the fact that she was doomed by the narrative from the very start.

Even so, wolfsbane can also symbolize protection, from wolves or in general (as a tattoo of wolfsbane generally means). It’s usage against wolves and werewolves can be related to the two’s relationship helping to keep Daisy at least relatively human for a long time, with Basira’s presence giving her a little extra push against the hunt in times such as when Daisy had tried to kill Jon and Basira had stopped her. Or, alternatively, when Basira was the one to save Daisy from continuing on as the beast she would later become.

They grow in rocky mountainous areas, which I personally relate to the blooming of something dangerous, but beautiful, amidst harsh, unwelcoming ground; something I imagine with their relationship. These flowers aren’t the type of beauty that one would expect, either, similarly to the fact that the relationship they have is different than most. I interpret their relationship more like partners back-to-back in battle, willing to die a thousand times for the other, rather than the typical sweet romance with honey-laced words (not saying that the members of more typical relationships wouldn’t die for one another all the same).

And, a more basic reasoning: the prefix “Wolf” relates to Daisy’s being a member of The Hunt and her transformation into a beast during the season 4 finale, and “Bane” relates to both individuals and their tendencies to become disliked for keeping to themselves and eachother, and for never backing down from a mission or a goal.

Keep in mind that it’s very late where I am and I’m not exactly the most lucid atm so this may make no sense— I just couldn’t wait to ramble about these two because they don’t get enough ramblings

(This image isn’t my own art, it’s a botanical image I found of the plant)

Have I thought way too deeply into a simple ship name? Yes. Do I have any regrets about it? No.

[holdoncallfailed]

"[Lou] was a good friend through everything. We had this brother-sister type relationship in the group, and it lasted long after the group split. We would always exchange Christmas cards, Valentine cards. It was one of those friendships where it didn't matter if you didn't see each other a lot. We'd meet up after two years or five years and it would be like we'd seen each other last week. As you get older, you come to realize that that kind of friendship is rare, so I miss him a hell of a lot. It's just dawning on me that he's not out there anymore...Now Andy's gone, Sterling's gone, Nico's gone and Lou's gone. It feels strange. I miss them all, but I really miss Lou. He was a great songwriter who pushed the boundaries in terms of what he was writing about, but more importantly, he was a good and loyal friend. It doesn't seem right that I won't be sending him a Christmas card." (via)

photos: lou reed & maureen "moe" tucker (& sterling morrison & doug yule), late 1960s.

correspondence from tucker to reed: undated valentine's day card + fax sent on january 1, 1996, referencing reed's obituary for sterling morrison, which had been published the day before in the new york times magazine.

[imogenkol]

— WIP WEDNESDAY

tagged by the lovely @socially-awkward-skeleton and @cassietrn thank you!! 💕💕

tag list (ask to be added or removed!): @adelaidedrubman @florbelles @marivenah @simonxriley @shegetsburned @voidika @kyber-infinitygems @v0idbuggy @inafieldofdaisies @statichvm @aceghosts @jillvalentinesday @risingsh0t @unholymilf @thedeadthree

Just gonna casually drop a really pivotal character moment from the whumptober thing I am still working on that became way longer than I intended it to be (warning: mentions of torture and also this is very heartbreaking)

When the pain became too unbearable, Imogen attempted to go inwards. Her mind may be the only chance of salvation. If she could rebuild her barricades from the inside, then perhaps she could buy herself more time. Battle meditation proved useful for all manner of talented Force users. Her own Master even tried to impart her wisdom on the practice, though Imogen had been too impatient to successfully utilize it at the time. She may not be at the frontlines of war or in the middle of a duel, but this excruciating invasion of her mind was just as arduous as any other challenging fight. Only difference now… Imogen was on the losing side.

The pressure built up in her head as a thunderous cacophony until she was sure something had to give when suddenly everything went utterly silent and still. Imogen wondered if she had been tortured into unconsciousness or perhaps her interrogator had enough and put his lightsaber blade through her skull before she could realize her end.

“I am relieved that you have held on to some of my teachings.”

Imogen’s eyes snapped open to see the room now completely empty. She glanced around for the source of the voice – a voice she had not heard in many, many years – and found that even her bindings had disappeared. The bounty hunter cautiously rose from the interrogation chair, not trusting whatever vision had clearly been imposed upon her.

“Show yourself,” Imogen commanded, though her tone had a slight waver. 

“I have always been here, you simply refused to see.”

Imogen spun around and saw a figure that caused her heart to plummet with enough force to nearly bring her to her knees. Rejna Shúl appeared just as the former Padawan last saw her. Imogen recognized the light brown Jedi robes, the silver hilt at her belt, and that unyielding conviction in her sharp green eyes. A ghost come to haunt her like a painful memory.

“You are a trick,” she weakly accused. Imogen could not decide which would be worse – being right or being wrong. 

“I assure you, I am not,” Rejna insisted and placed her hands behind her back. “Listen to your instincts.”

Imogen did not want to, but a dreadful chill in her bones demanded to be felt. The image before her shook her down to her very soul and she knew for certain that not even Vader himself could conjure such a convincing specter of her former Master. Not like this. 

Imogen shook her head. The shock made her feel sick. “Why now, after all this time?”

“Because you were not ready to face me.”

“Why should I face you at all? I killed you for a reason,” Imogen snarled. A part of her hoped her rage would chase this spirit away. Had she not done enough unforgivable acts to completely sever whatever connection they had in life and death?

Rejna regarded her patiently, unflinching to the storm of hostility that brewed within her apprentice. “You killed me out of impulse.”

Imogen’s hands trembled and she clenched them into tight fists at her sides, as tight as she could make them. “I would have died if you lived.” 

“So here you stand now.” The Jedi Master moved around Imogen in a slow circle, studying her the same way she did the very day they met. Imogen had been so young, she didn’t fully understand her circumstances, but Rejna took stock of what she had to work with. It made Imogen feel like an item being appraised for auction. “A woman. And more powerful than I could have imagined, yet… you still carry the same hatred for me. How long has it been? Nearly twenty years since your blade pierced my heart? Two decades is a long time to hold on to such a burden, Imogen.”

“It is not only hatred I carry,” she responded quietly. Her resolve started to crumble. 

“No,” Rejna agreed and came to a stop in front of her former ward. Her eyes softened ever so slightly at the edges. “I sense your grief.”

The mask fell away. Imogen had never acknowledged how the murder committed by her own hands shattered her as much as it mended. How, when the weight lifted off her shoulders at her Master’s last breath, she had been consumed – not by remorse, but by the agony of loss. Imogen tried to ignore it, and when that failed, she used it. She fed it into the crystal that powered her new saber, and with that conduit of her pure hatred, she let it flow unrestrained unto her prey. Yet the grief remained just beneath her rage as steady as her own heartbeat. 

“You were all I had.” Uttering those words out loud caused her vision to blur. “That is why I needed to kill you.”

Rejna seemed equal parts pleased and heartbroken at the admission. “I only understood in my final moments that you were my greatest failure.”

It felt like the phantom of her plasma blade burst through Imogen’s chest. She knew the statement to be true, but it made her realize that as much as she resented Rejna, she still always hoped for her praise. Even now, in the face of her own doom, staring into the eyes of her long dead Master, did Imogen wish she could have been different for them both.

Imogen could no longer bear to hold her gaze, but as soon as her face fell with a few stray tears, she felt the gentle hand of her Master rest on her shoulder. It took a long moment, but she found the courage to look up at her once more.

“I failed you, Imogen. You were my greatest pride and I failed you,” she stated earnestly. 

Of all the confessions to grace her ears, this was one Imogen never expected. She needed to hear it after all this time, but a part of her will forever be empty. She accepted that fact even before Rejna fell. “It is far too late, Master.”

Rejna nodded solemnly. “Perhaps for me, but you know what you must do.”

“Yes,” she said, her voice hoarse. 

“You were always so strong, Imogen.” Her old mentor’s hand moved to caress her cheek, the motherly touch Imogen always longed for and never got to experience. It caused more tears to stream down her cheeks as she clenched her jaw hard enough to nearly crack her own teeth to stifle a sob. “I will always regret holding you back.”

[vigilskept]

what kind of love are you?

tagged by @dragonologist-phd to put some ocs through this uquiz. ty for the tag!

insomnia crept in so i decided to just run all my wardens through & genuinely thrown by some of the results (but in a good way!) excerpting some of the interesting bits below for the sake of brevity

Diya Surana: Love as a Choice Love does not come to you easily, but every day you wake up and choose it. It would be so easy, wouldn't it, to grow cold and callous and grim. But you rise to greet the world, making the conscious effort to find something, anything to love. When you fall for someone, you do not kid yourself of their flaws. Instead, you resolve to see them for who they are, mistakes and all and you love them all the same.

Roshan Mahariel & Qadir Amell: Love as a Threshold Your love is free, and unquestioned, and here for wherever needs it. When you fall in love, it is as gentle as a breath in the night. When you fall for someone, it is without strings, without conditions, without need. You love with a giver’s heart and a giver’s hands and are made so much stronger for it.

Chaya Tabris & Ylva Aeducan: Love as a Flaw When you fall in love, it is with alarm bells ringing. It’s a problem and you would do anything to pass it off, burn it away, scoop it out of you with bare hands, or carved out with hooked knives before it can destroy you.

Sindri Brosca: Love as Youth Your love is buoyant. Your love is bountiful. It is ageless, and it will never age. When you fall in love, it is breathless. It is joyful and endless, it is magnificent. Your love skips rocks and tells stories, your love roasts marshmallows over fires, and laughs freely. Your love does not take itself too seriously.

Gavin Cousland: Love as Religion When you fall in love, it is as a baptism. You are born anew, made a believer in the divinity of the one you love most. Being loved by you is an ascension; it is holy and golden. It is all-consuming, and all-faithful, loyal as the dog.

Daniyel Tabris: Love as the Dawn Love is new to you, isn’t it? A fresh discovery in a world you do not quite understand. Your love loves with bated breaths. Your love swoons and sighs and lingers under awnings. Your love romanticizes. Your love aches as tenderly as a bruise. You’re swollen with desire and idealizations.

[platypusnoise]

i hate it here was DEFINITELY written during the travis kelce era

[witch-of-the-sands]

I think everyone who says they hate friends to lovers and find it boring hasn't actually experienced realizing that you have feelings for a close friends because it's a prime angst experience. Like I'm just saying that there's this all consuming feeling and absolute heinous dread that comes from falling for a close friend of yours, all mixed with this fear that they might never return those feelings and that sharing them will ruin your relationship forever.

Friends to lovers, yes, is about having feelings for your closest friend. And falling for someone because they know you better than you know yourself. But it's also about the dread and anyone who writes friends to lover dread and anxiety free is kidding themselves. The most confident person in the world would still be terrified to ask out one of their closest friends

[beyblaiddyd]

To briefly overshare tm

last month my brother like utterly lost his mind and broke my sister's door with a baseball bat because her friends were being "too loud" at 3pm and refused to unlock the door when he came out screaming at them and then when i went off on him for this/refused to "listen to his side of the story" (i overheard the entire event) (there was no side of the story to listen to) he told me i wasn't his family anymore and then he spontaneously without warning moved out w/ his girlfriend to another state and stiffed us on the month's rent ^_^ and then there was a whole bunch of other shit with my mom's stupid ass fucking boyfriend but i can't even get into that

[happybunnykat]

Honestly if Sora and Riku do get together and then the series explores Kairi as a character after that, showing her emotional state as the guy she likes ends up with someone else and now she isn't as sure about her future as she has been in the past, it would honestly make up for the past 2 decades of her hardly having any character arc at all by making her more interesting then 90% of fan interpretations.

[eggbagelz]

On god i want to watch gomens s2 so bad but im SO SCARED