#they keep coming up no matter how hard she tries to repress them and move on

[platypusnoise]

i hate it here was DEFINITELY written during the travis kelce era

[neverthebabysitter]

Steve has a bit of anger issues and a problem with repressed trauma, so i thought it would be so funny if he had got vecna'ed and talked back at vecna like if the mf can't just kill him on the spot.

I just imagine Steve being done with all his bullshit villain talk and calling him a manchild freddy krueger wannabe who is so full of himself even when he has been defeated for three consecutive years by literally kids and teenagers.

Anyway, something something, here is something i wrote about it that i never finished.

—

And okay, Stress Steve didn't know how not to say things; he just gave away whatever thought he may have, it didn't matter if it was venomous or vulnerable, but most of the time just works to embarrass himself saying out loud his dumb thoughts, he just talks and, oh boy, he talks. 

Stress Steve didn't know when to shut up. Steve would say that he could be a Robin 2.0, but it was more about what he said than how much he talked (or rambled in Robin's case), which was more than he liked to admit.

Now, Afraid Steve wasn't much of a talker; he was more of actions, from freezing in place to just move. He gave barely any thought to what he would do, but he did. Maybe just a few seconds, but he analyzed and thought about it. 

Contrary to popular belief, he did think before acting, probably not enough, but he didn't have time to do that (Robin would– and did– argue with him about it).

The point is, when Upside Down shit happens, Stress Steve and Afraid Steve kick in, so he has a weird combination of saying dumb shit and doing even dumber shit, like when he was literally yelling at a child, that child was Erica, and she didn't even bat an eye, but still, you can get the point.

[Insert Steve and Vecna's talk]

So now not only he has Stress Steve and Afraid Steve in his system, Angry Steve has joined the mix, and… listen, Steve is trying really hard to be a better person, he really is, scout's honor, but he knows that he can hurt people with his words. 

He would see the deepest insecurity and sore spot he could find and spit in it to make the other bleed, make them hurt, and if he couldn't find it, he would instead make them snap. Yeah, he is trying to stop, but it is a part of him that it doesn’t quite go. It's in his blood. His DNA, or whatever.

He knows himself (he had to know himself if he wanted to be a better person– he doesn’t dare to think he can be a good person, just better, never good). That’s why he tries to just have Stress and Afraid Steve around when shit hits the fan because in the first round, Angry Steve appeared, and everyone knows how that went (I'm sorry Jonathan, I did deserve that punch). So Angry Steve is most of the time locked in a cage, deep down in some part of the still healthy brain that Steve has left.

Anyway, that doesn’t matter now, because Angry Steve has come out and is ready to spit at anyone who crosses his path, and maybe Stress and Afraid Steve can keep him on a leash, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t there. Steve is just lucky enough that the one who crosses his path is Vecna.

How good is his luck that the moment he wants to make someone angry just like him, the other one is a monster from another dimension that has quite literally his life in his hands and can kill him in any moment, ha.

Just his luck.

—

“Steve, What did you do?”

"I may or may not have called Vecna a Freddy Kruger wanna be"

[demonicbaby666]

Falling, So That We Rise

One shot | Marvel Masterlist | Masterlists

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader

Genre: Angst and Comfort

Words: 1.4k+ 

Warnings: trauma alluded, maybe a sprinkle of an unhealthy attachment style

A/n: she's monologue heavy...

Everyone has shadows in their past that haunt them. No matter how hard you try to run from them, they catch up to you and swallow you whole until you’re submerged in an abyss of repressed memories. In the time spent locked away, they have mutated and learned how best to swat away feeble attacks that come in the form of denial and distraction. 

There is no easy way to win the war other than succumbing to the lulls of familiar pain and anguish while laying in bed and staring blankly at the ceiling fan, wishing that the infernal flashbacks that stole your childhood would cut you a break now you’d reached a point in your life where things seemed calmer. That is, however, not how things work. 

Similarly, other people share these mind-boggling complexities. Shutting them out and assuming they’d take it on the chin without question was not as straightforward as it seemed. Which is what you were coming to learn with each repetitive knock that echoed through the hallway. 

Five knocks seem excessive. Why five? Why not three or even two hard booming knocks? But five? 

“Let me in, or so help me,” Nat called from the other side of the door. Her voice was calm, “We both know this door can’t stop me.” 

Your loud groan ebbed from your bedroom, through the apartment, and eventually reached attentive ears. 

“Ya, ya. Now open up,” she beckoned. 

Had you believed a less-than-welcoming ‘fuck off’ would have motivated her to leave, you’d have done so. But you knew her well enough to know the two words would incentivise her more than deter her from the constant knocking that was, quite frankly, fuelling the cluster headache forming along your temples. 

The only option left was the worst one imaginable. How loathsome confrontation truly is, especially when one already knows what the outcome will intel. It was a simple solution. Cut the cord. And it was simple for one reason - surviving alone is more manageable. You never risk becoming reliant on someone that could end up breaking you. 

It made sense in your head and seemed a solid plan, that was until your fingers curled around the door handle, and you pulled it open, revealing auburn hair, emerald eyes, and a smile so fucking genuine it had you melting on the spot. 

“Good to see you’re still alive,” Nat smirked, eyes peering over your shoulder, “you going to invite me in?” 

“No,” Straight to the point. Bold? Yes. Dare it to be said, perhaps a little too bold because instantly the smile - that seems to work its way into your heart effortlessly - faded, crumpling under the wrath of your harsh and hostile tone, “I think you should go.” 

You kept a straight face, hoping that by pretending your heart was as cold as it seemed, she won’t notice how it was shattering. 

If it were anyone else, they’d have taken their leave, sensing their company wasn’t desired, and you wouldn’t have blamed them for doing so - despite the small voice in your head that repeats the same mantra, ‘If they cared, they’d fight.’ So you didn’t know what to make of her decision to keep her feet planted in the doorway. 

In truth, your puffy eyes, the bags under them, and the weight you carried on your shoulder kept her from walking away. How you still kept going, despite your tortured soul having lost so many battles against demons, she didn’t know. What she knew was it was admirable that you were still standing. It made her want to hold you tighter, kiss you harder, and love you with every morsel of her soul. She wanted to help you in every way she could, not to change you, but to surround you with everything she saw so clearly you were never given. 

“Not a chance in hell I’m leaving you like this.” she asserted. 

It was a rash move. You knew that as you tried to shut the door on her, it was the barrier you needed when it seemed like she’d sooner murder than abandon getting through to you. What you hoped would be a cut-off to the painful interaction you were enduring was anything but. Nat’s palm made firm contact with the door, halting it so swiftly it caused you to jolt. 

Being that a healthy diet wasn’t something you’d cared about made it incredibly difficult to overpower her hold on the door. It would be one sight to behold had anyone walked by and witnessed. The first thought would most likely be, ‘She’s being attacked,’ before they proceeded to excuse themselves from having to participate in any way. 

After a solid minute of battling over the door position, it stood open again, Nat staring right at you with a raised eyebrow and an accompanying smirk. God, she could be cocky when she wanted, despite the victory being magnanimously handed to her. 

In one swift action, she moved, pushing forward into the apartment and flinging you over her shoulder. The kicking and screaming that ensued was flimsy and rather pathetic; whether it was done intentionally was still debatable. 

“Nat! Put me down!” You protested, trying to hide the childlike smile - that rejected being suppressed - from your tone. 

Gently setting you down on the sofa, she crouched between your legs and placed a hand on your thigh, “You want to do this alone. I get it. But I’m not going anywhere.” She smiled softly and chuckled, “Even if you can handle all this without anyone, and believe me, I know you can. You don’t need to.” 

And maybe it’s the small details that shift the tide; the way she took such care when she reached out to tuck strands of hair behind your ear, or how she touched you like no one ever had - each caress of her fingers saying, ‘I will not harm you,’ or the way she kissed you; like it was the first and last time. Every. Single. Time. In truth, everything she’d ever done for you oozed with a kind of teeth-rotting compassion that could drive a person mad. 

And it did. Not for any other reason except that you couldn’t understand why and what she was doing with someone like you. There were no prospects, no life plan; hell, you barely knew what to expect two days from now, let alone two years. That didn’t stop her, though. She continued to look at you with so much love in her eyes the world may as well have toppled off its axis, and the astonishing thing was, plummeting into your inevitable demise had never felt better. 

The harsh truth is you are not the type of person people fall in love with. You have never been. People are intrigued, inspired, and some find themselves gripping onto you as though you were their new addiction. That’s all it ever was. The love, or what resembled it, that you’d received was always fleeting, momentary, and, dare it be said, conditional. Smile, laugh, make jokes; that sort of stuff keeps them around, but the moment emotions start to peek through the cracks, it’s always safer for them to run, and they do. 

So to be loved so fiercely and so often, even on days where you’d shut the world out, on days where the world shut you out, it was foreign. It seemed like a dream, a cruel joke the universe was playing, bidding time and waiting to deliver the final blow of opening your eyes and discovering you were right all along, that it was too good to be true. 

“Okay,” you whispered. 

“You, me, sofa, and a movie.” And that was that. No fuss, no ulterior motive, “The cure for everything.” 

She leaned forward, her face drawing closer, and despite the intimacy shared repeatedly, it still caused your heart to race faster and your palms to sweat. “You’re not allowed to push me away,” she said, staring down at you at your lips, “I hope you know that.” 

“It’s becoming painfully obvious,” you mutter, rolling your eyes - you and Nat very much aware that you weren’t annoyed in the slightest. 

“You’re stuck with me for a long time. Plus, you’re the best arm candy around.” her warm breath tickled your lips before she leaned in to place a smiled kiss on your lips. 

Unfortunately, relying on someone didn’t seem so bad anymore, and you’d be kidding yourself if you didn’t admit that it was nice to have them fight for you. You took the win. Nat wanted you, even if it was just because you made good arm candy. 

Tags: @ssa-sapphic @red1culous @7thavenger @five-bi-five-mind @auggiewritess @jenna-ortega-is-pretty17177 @kenyakimble34 @12fluffybunny12 @asensitivecookie @summoned-lust-demon | Click here to be added to my tag list

[thereferencebinder]

Yellowjackets - Pilot (S01E01)

My goal was to keep this as an archive just for visuals but this scene is one of my favorites ever from a screenwriting perspective so I have to dissect it.

Adult Shauna's first scene, her introduction in the show, being her masturbating on her daughter's bed, while staring at pictures of said daughter's boyfriend & using that same daughter's vibrator is GENIUS.

Having 2 timelines at the same time is tricky and can easily bore people if one is more exciting than the other, which, could be the case here, since the 1996 one has the plane crash; but introducing a 2021 character in such a shocking, even horrifying way, lets the audience know that this timeline is just as interesting, immediately hooking them.

At the same time, it tells you everything you need to know about Shauna, in a scene that lasts less than 30 secs, and without a single line of dialogue.

Shauna's need for control is evident throughout the season. She settled for a monotonous life, where nothing wrong or exciting can happen, but her impulses keep winning. This aspect of her is usually explored through sex. She's very sexual but, for her, it isn't about pleasure; it's just another aspect where she can gain control of her life, when she's feeling powerless.

Her relationship with her daughter is terrible, both because she reminds her of Jackie, & because she has everything Shauna never had, so she resents her. So, what does she do? masturbate on her bed. It's a big "fuck you" (not just to Callie, but to everything & everyone), another moment where her impulses took control, only to be repressed again as soon as she finishes & goes back to her boring life, like nothing happened.

Aside from her need for power over her own life & mind, Shauna also has huge issues when it comes to boundaries. We see her constantly crossing them & being inappropriate throughout the season, & this is one of the clearest examples.

Also, like I mentioned before, she's masturbating while staring at the boyfriend's pictures, but it's pretty clear that she's not attracted to him. Again, it's her trying to gain power by messing with people she shouldn't be messing with, a big "fuck you, I can get away with this & no one will ever know" to the world.

And while, what impressed me here was the script, other aspects are also interesting & complement the scene really well. The cinematography & production design are beautiful. In the first shot, the soft light over the face, along with the pristine (but natural) make up & her hair looking so soft & delicate create a huge contrast with what's being done in the scene, as well as with the sound she makes while orgasming, which reflects her mental estate & what this really means to her.

The second shot uses diagonal lines, as Yellowjackets tends to use, to show that things aren't right, which is when the vibrator is revealed.

In both shots, the color palette of the room is innocent, fun, cute and very "teen girl", which contrasts with the shades of blue in Shauna's clothes. This serves 3 purposes: First, it gives instant context to the scene, letting you know it's a teen girl's bedroom. Second, it shows how different & out of contact Shauna & her daughter are. Third, it's a way of letting the audience know Shauna is trapped in her teen self. On the outside, she grew up & is now in her 40s but on the inside, she's still stuck in that same mindset she had as a teen, she's emotionally immature & can't seem to move on, no matter how hard she tries; perfectly reflected here by all those shades of pink, surrounding her completely.

In general, Shauna & her sexuality are really interesting & complex, but this scene definitely takes the cake for me.

[moonrisecalamityretreat]

Shattered | Sayuri Reaction

It happened so fast. Finding themselves in the library, seeing Ikko and Yvette with files. They had unearthed something amazing that could help all of them understand more about the situation. Sayuri reserved her hope, as there was a high probability of being interrupted. The interlopers to their moment were two cultists, ready to slaughter all of them, and for what? 

When the first gunshot rang out, Sayuri dove to the floor, ducking her head into her arms, aiming to protect herself from potentially fatal bullets. But it isn’t until Sayuri hears the whirring of mechanical precision and no recoil from bullets that she looks up. Her eyes widen to admire Ikko, who’s always been so strong and capable, stop bullets. Her words were never a waste, and always cut right into the right position to make things worth it. Never a breath spent on something unimportant. 

At first, she made it clear that they weren’t going to be friends. Of course, as having people you cared about got you murdered. The probability of dying only heightened as you grew to care about people, as it put your guards down. It made you reckless. It pushed you into the path of a bullet spray to protect your friend. Sayuri yelled out as Ikko was shot down, the only word needed to be uttered said: “Yvette.” A warning for her to get down, as nothing else needed to be said. 

When Ikko’s corpse fell to the ground, Sayuri felt frozen. Blood pooled as her own blood chilled in her body. It’s funny, how no matter how often you see a corpse, it never gets easier to cope with them. Muted words of rejection and denial danced on Sayuri’s lips. Out of everyone here that could have died, Ikko was the one who truly understood Sayuri. Sure, Ken loved her, but he saw no faults within her. Ikko saw the sharp parts of Sayuri, that she tried so desperately to whittle down. The way she softened and silenced herself to be safe from the world, a juxtaposition to the way Ikko knocked down anything in her path to live her life to the fullest. 

Ikko was Sayuri’s inspiration, like an older sister, whom she could look up to, to vent to, and cry to. She found a bond she wasn’t familiar with, within Ikko. Ikko saw all the parts, both ugly and beautiful, in Sayuri, and accepted all of it. Her garden was a mess, but Ikko knew… She knew. 

Whatever your past might be, wherever and however you have to find it or be found by it, I promise you this. You don’t have to worry about that here, Sayuri.

She was scared of being a monster to the one woman who had already lived Sayuri’s pain. Maybe she wasn’t a murderer, but she saw Sayuri’s struggles to become something more than the sheltered withered flower she found herself being.

I only care about the you that’s standing here, right before me.

Her body moved itself, crawling over to Ikko’s corpse as it lay on the floor. The others can focus. They can work hard for Sayuri. She knew she shouldn’t have gotten close to anyone, but how could she help it? How could she deny..? Ikko was so much more than Sayuri could have ever imagined.

And, in time, the Sayuri Nomura that will keep blossoming in the years to come, brighter and brighter. Even if you can’t escape, atop the dead roots, I know that you’ll grow into something beautiful.

And now, Ikko will never see Sayuri blossom. 

She warned Sayuri not to repress herself. Hanji did, too. There wasn’t enough time in the world to hide how you felt. In a quick motion, Sayuri’s eyes filled with tears as she bent down, wrapping her arms around Ikko. She would never see Sayuri find her way. She’d never help take care of Ken. She’d never go home back to her business! She’d never find the ones she lost. All the grief of losing her friend finally burst Sayuri’s dam. While she may be dehydrated, her eyes found enough water for tears, nonetheless. Painful, salted tears that roll so freely down Sayuri’s cheeks. 

“No! Noooo… Please…. I can’t lose you

… Ikkoooooo….!”

Her voice was hoarse as she sobbed into the dead woman’s shoulder, remembering how it felt the first and last time they embraced.

… You’re safe here.

[twingerine]

He’s hurt. He’s unconscious. There was no other explanation as she runs over to him, lying so still on the dirty linoleum floor, dropping to her knees immediately.

“Fucking hell, what happened to you?” Her voice wavers as she leans over, and it’s just like she knows that this was more. This was worse. Anne had seen her fair share of corpses. She had been one herself. And even briefly so dead, it was something so obvious. Still.

Index and middle-finger pressed to his neck in a desperate search for a pulse. And he feels so heavy, as she tries to prep him up, did he feel so heavy before? He’s slumped against her chest, head lying on her shoulder, no tension. So limp. We wouldn’t have done it if he were…

People die on the job. It’s something no one should be surprised of. It comes with the job description, and death was a constant companion for anyone of them. A friend, a lover, but always a shadow that followed. She accepted it long ago, even before she made her first kill. But it’s always other people, nameless and faceless, not worth of any attention, even if they had their own lives, people they loved, people that would miss them.

( No time for emotion. No time for emotion. No time for- )

Her body convulses in dry sobs that she represses again, jaw clenched and gaze hard as she tries to blink away the coming tears angrily, lips pressed to a hard line. It was easy to lash out now, at him, at herself, at the killer who could still run around, for whom she had a bullet waiting, who she would tear apart with her own hands.

She pulls Tangerine up again, as her fingers move the bloodied curls from his forehead, eyes closed, mouth slightly opened. It’s almost peaceful, as the tips of her fingers touch his cheek, with so many details she never noticed before. There’s still some warmth left on his skin, just as if he could come back, just as if if she made the right choices, he could be alive. If she had been fast enough. If she hadn’t left his side, if she had insisted, he could still live.

This is your fault.

Could’ve. Should’ve. Would’ve. It doesn’t matter any more. Nothing matters.

In the end, she doesn’t know how long she’s been sitting next to him, her fingers interlaced with his, her face bloodied and pale, as if life had left her too now, gently rocking the body as tears muddy her face, inhaling and exhaling, inhaling and exhaling, because there’s nothing else to do.

( No time for emotion. )

“I’m sorry I didn’t-”

She bends down, her lips briefly touching the corner of his mouth, still not daring to do more, still not daring to say anything more, still keeping it shut and quiet and calm and professional. And she lets the body gently slide down, tearing herself lose as shaky fingers grab the gun lying next to them. She didn’t even know his name.

Another time. Another life.

the scream I scrumpt

[keiicom]

I'M ELABORATING BC I PROMISED I WOULD

Similarities between orv and link click's main dynamics

orv and link click s2 spoilers warning for those who haven't read/watched either (you totally should btw)

Vortex gives Yoo Joonghyuk's regressions. There, I said it, WATCH IT AGAIN WITH THIS KNOWLEDGE IN MIND /lh. At this point in time (aka after the S1 events) Cheng Xiaoshi has come to the realization that bad things keep happening over and over no matter how hard he tries to change them, no matter how many times he attempts to just do things right. Make everything better. And most of the time, there's the added guilt of things being worse BECAUSE of him. He's been punished for trying, for not giving up on the world, and the tension and guilt and regret have started to build up inside of him like a shadow at first, but turn into something much more dangerous and real as time passes. It then takes a toll on his mental health. *points* yoo joonghyuk

Vortex is Link Click S2's opening song btw

Two (three w/ S2?) B&W-themed mfers repeatedly try to change fate yet are (for the most part) powerless to stop tragedy from occurring: the saga. Also found family

The 'save the world vs save a loved one' trope is also present in both cases, with the whole yoohankim dynamic throughout the novel and the possible regression to save lu guang in Link Click [which S2 SPOILERS AFTER THIS → didn't end up happening but when I wrote it down in my notes it was a possibility so I'm leaving it here too]

One of the two is presented as the 'logical one, brains of the operation' (Kdj, Lu Guang), while cxs and yoohan are the 'driven by emotion' guys—whatever that emotion may be. However, not too long after having those traits be established, there's a shift; we learn that the logical characters can make vital mistakes due to their repressed/hidden emotions (kdj's fourth wall/unreliability and all those Lu Guang theories going around 👀 mans is a mystery). At the same time, the supposedly emotion-driven characters begin to show their smart side where the logical characters fail, via strategizing in cxs and hsy's case and the simple-yet-effective-and-reasonable plans on yjh's side. *In Ken voice* they're not Just Ken One, both people can take the other's place in their dynamic if need be, and that's probably why they work so well together imo

↑ Kind of unrelated but yjh thinking "what would kdj do in this situation?" Will never Not be heart wrenching and so so so important to me. anyway moving on bc this isn't supposed to be a yjh post lmao

Now that we've established the yjh/hsy = cxs and kdj= lu guang, allow me to say the opposite is also true, especially during the first ≈170 chapters of orv >:) because while one (kdj/cxs) is seemingly the one who wears their heart on their sleeve, the other (lu guang/yjh) is supposedly the cold one that thinks of the greater good instead of 'being affected by their personal emotions' [this is part of their facade and doesn't really apply once you get more into the story but I thought it interesting how both stories go from this to the actual opposite dynamic]. In han sooyoung's case she's a mix of both, because while she seems to be pursuing something out of her own selfishness, she does let emotions get in the way (balance??)

Both groups go through a divorce arc at one point /j AND IT'S OVER THE SAME THING TOO, LIKE- trust has been broken, one feels betrayed, yadda yadda, then they make up and become gayer than ever, we been knew

✨ abandonment issues ✨ did you mean: all of them, openly or secretly.

"How far would they go to ___?" Is tested over and over again, and it's done in a masterful way. It's not a matter of how much they care, because it's repeatedly established that they care, they care too much, to the point they'd sacrifice a lot to get to their end goal. The question is how far they're willing to go...and how far others will let them. How much can they sacrifice before one of them decides it's enough? Resolve is tested, interests clash, drama ensues and it's all because they care too much about different things...different people.

Your honor I love them

@spaceangst tagging you because I'm not sure how reblogs work atm and didn't know if it'd automatically reach you or not rhskrnsk sorry for tagging

orv yoohankim au but it’s link click trio feat. dokja as cheng xiaoshi, sooyoung as qiao ling, and joonghyuk as lu guang

[thecameronchronicles]

Blow My Mind

TW: Smut. Oral sex. Language.

SUMMARY: You give JJ his first blowjob. 

WORD COUNT:

*Requested*

Anonymous asked:

Request🤍 reader blowing jj for the first time (not her first ever just the first w jj) and he’s all you don’t have to if you don’t want to but she does it and jj finds out she doesn’t have a gag reflex and he just loses his mind

((Maybe also from jj pov)) love your writing btw

*HI! I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE! HOPE I DO IT JUSTICE! THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT! XO*

Blow My Mind

How could I not think about it when her kiss alone made my head spin? Naturally, my mind conjured the idea of those lips traveling lower, those beautiful and full eyes keeping to my reactions as she’d take me to the extent of her reflex. My fingers wrapped in her hair as her cheeks hollowed and she gagged-nope, I didn’t think about it at all…or at least, I tried not to. But every time she straddled me, rising and falling enough to bring that adorable and innocent giggle from behind a contradictingly sinful smirk, the need for more always made me almost desperate. The things I would do for this girl, all for her touch. Even something as stupid as a brush of her fingers running through my hair. Yep…I’m so goddamn whipped…

“JJ?” She called breathlessly from my neck, my eyes having fallen closed in basking in how those small pecks that had begun on my skin were now leaving hickies for everyone to see tomorrow. My lids came open with hesitance as I found her playing with the belt separating me from her, my cock already begging for attention that it seemed she was considering giving. 

“Can you take these off-”

“Can I..” I tried to repeat her question for validation as she nodded, my arm lifting her high enough to keep her close while obeying her request. Immediately, her eyes illuminated with eager enlightenment as she would grind against me, her lips returning to my neck, but softer this time, clearly doing so for a purpose while her fingers moved beneath my shirt, gently clawing at my chest. And no matter how hard I tried, those damned groans escaped from my attempts to keep them caged, worsening as she would smirk against my skin, well aware of her affect on me. 

When she pulled away, however, there was a specific mischief behind her eyes I’d never seen before. And I was naive enough to believe it still came from a place of such innocence. How could you blame me? The girl blushed whenever sex was mentioned in any other setting, but the second she was alone with me, she was working out every single one of her daddy issues on my body. And me? The willing participant, all too eager to allow her whatever rush she needed. 

But this-THIS was too much. The positioning of her to her knees was enough to make me come, my cock twitching at the sight of her preparing for what I’d imagined a thousand times over. Because this was more than sex, there wasn’t anything in it for her. She was doing this for me and I had to repress every natural response my body had long enough for it to be worth my while as I wasn’t sure how often of an occurrence this would be. 

“You-you don’t have to, you know…” I spoke with chivalry as she would position her elbows on my knees before pulling me from my boxers. 

“I want to, JJ…I want to make you come…” My eyes fought to stay open to her words. Hearing her say them felt so wrong as my body reacted to the breath on my dick, already tearing up for her. 

“You’re always so good to me…” She pressed a kiss on its tip, my body jolting forward to the tongue that made this a French kiss, sliding across my slit and forcing more precum to her palate. 

“I wanna be good to you…”

“Shit…” I breathed deeply as he rhand came to a wrap at my base, removing this grip long enough to make me naked from the waist down, where she returned to pin my legs with her elbows, with a new flicker of enthusiasm behind her eyes. 

“I just want to ask one thing-”

“Oh my God, anything-” I offered, truly willing to go to any lengths necessary for whatever it was she was about to ask for. Even if it would be illegal-which if I was honest, wouldn’t exactly stop me without the promise of what she was offering. But for her, I would do it without a care of what came after. All for her…

She chuckled to my quick and desperate response before explaining her condition. 

“I want you to tell me when you come…I want to know that I’m doing a good job…” She ran her fingers up my thighs as I tensed beneath her, my eyes somewhere between closed and in a glare as I could only nod. 

The second that she took me between her lips my mind went blank of anything but the sensation. Warm. Wet. A slow succession that quickened as I groaned in approval. Then the most innocent of moans to leave her innocent litlt elips tainted by this action-and I fucking lived for it. I didn’t know what my purpose was in life as the philosophical shit was saved more for Kie and Pope, but at this moment, I know SHE was made for this-for me, and I was made to live in this moment with her. 

Her eyes never leaving me as she took me to the depth of her throat, my own gaze waiting for that retching of a gag I had come to expect. But it never came. She didn’t have a goddamn gag reflex! When she saw the surprise on my face when realizing this, she moved faster, taking me completely to my base, only labored breathing and a teary gaze having shown the effect I had on her as I repressed the urge to spill down her throat with every pump. 

“Shit…” She nodded, her nails eating into my naked thigh as she didn’t even use her hands. Fuck, she WAS trying to kill me, I was certain of it…But if I were to die…It would be happily, if this were the means to my end. 

But I wanted it to last. I needed it to last. To prove something silently between us. But as I attempted to think of the least sexual things I could, every time my cock would be met with a lack of a gag had only taken my fingers harshly against the fabric of the couch. When noticing how I struggled, trying to keep my curses at bay as I groaned into my shoulder, she would lead my hand through your hair. 

“Pull it…” She breathed as I was quick to allow my tension to come through this way, still careful to not hurt her, but holding her firm enough to keep the strands from her face. 

“Fuck, princess, I’m not gonna last-”

“Good…I want you to come JJ…For me…” Those two words ‘for me’ were always enough to make me risk and relinquish anything if it meant making her happy. But while she was on her knees for me, my cock returned to her throat, I was a man on a mission. Whatever she wanted, she would have. No matter the consequences. 

“FUCKING SHIT!” I belted as her mouth suddenly retracted and her tongue ran  lines at my balls, painfully heavy and the cock above flexing for the sensation it allowed. A massage of sorts that felt electric to my core. She would retreat when I had begun to tremble, looking up at me with pride, as I pulled her to my lips, needing to thank her, if this had been the only means I could without reciprocation due to my own desperation for continuation. 

“Are you close?” I nodded, ashamed as she would stroke me slowly, no need for lubrication as I was weeping for her touch, for mouth, shit, she could probably just look at my cock at this point and I would’ve come for her. 

“You don’t have to uhm…I can use my hand to finish-”

“You think I’m done?” She bit her bottom lip, lowering back to my head. 

“I’m not done until I swallow, J…I’m thorough…for you…” My eyes rolled as she took me again, this time, relentless and almost angrily as my moans and curses fell in the same accordance to each breath. My fingers held her hair tight as I bucked into her, my head bowing in submission to the rush taking me over. No matter the thoughts I attempted to pull forward to prolong this release, it was rushing too quickly to object. 

“I’m gonna-I’m gonna come…It’s right-FUCK!” This was heaven. This release. Her capturing it. And me hovering above her to watch her lift with teary eyes made possible by her own ambition made me certain this was heaven. The sound of her swallowing me only added to this, forcing my cock to twitch once again, as she would remain on her knees, an innocent expression now looking up at me as if waiting for me to speak. 

“So?”

“What the fuck was that?” She chuckled. 

“Did you like it? Was I…okay?”

“Okay?! There isn’t a word for what you are…I’m sure Pope has one but…He’s never gonna find out for himself…” I spoke quickly, not wanting anybody else to know how she felt or looked on her knees. Damn, just the thought made me need her again. But not for my own release, but to give her her own. 

“But now…it’s my turn-”

“J!”

“It’s only fair, sweetheart…” And she was laid onto her back, my own task clear, as I revealed her to me and made my own imprint on her memory, and the couch as it was stained in her release in record time…

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae @pankhoeforlife

[the-spooky-alien]

Day 15 of Fictober !

Fandom : X-Files with the prompt "What are you doing ?"

Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober2022

-

He wakes up.

In the darkness, he hears his sister screaming for help, a remnant of his dream. A remnant of his childhood, of Stratego games and warm Christmas. Of the girl, lost in the stars, young and naive, believing her big brother would come for her.

Fox, help me !

(He tries so hard. Every time he comes too close, Samantha's shadow slips from his outstretched fingers, leaving behind nothing but the bitter taste of guilt on his tongue.)

The room is cold, or maybe the cold comes from somewhere deep in his soul. His body shivers, goosebumps rising on his arms. Glancing to his side, he notices Scully, curled in a ball, has hogged all the covers, leaving him with nothing.

Even the sight of her, soft and warm, isn't enough to ease the weight settling on him. With an inaudible sigh, he gets to his feet, the cool floor chilling him further until he doesn't know if he'll ever get warm again.

Her living-room is awashed with the street's lights. For a moment, he stays still, studying the peacefulness of the room, witnessing how alive it is under the moon's rays. It feels vibrant, like Scully is, and he can't help but feel out of place, both here and not here, at once lost and found.

He feels like he's drifting, his little boat gliding on a still water, the horizon so far away he'll never reach it. And no matter how much he would like to stop, to get out of the boat, it keeps drifting.

Sometimes, he wonders if he'll ever get out. If Samantha's ghost will always hover above him, whispering with her sweet voice in his ears, weighing on his shoulders as if she's sitting on them, like the child she is.

Was.

Is.

Not knowing if she's out there, on a boat too, desperately searching for him, for his help, is what wakes him up at night, sending adrenaline rushing through his body because he still hasn't found her. She has no one but him.

(No one has found him either. He's drifting on the sea, pushed and pulled and threatened to be swallowed by the waves.)

He blinks and finds himself on Scully's couch, with no recognition of how he ended there. He blinks again and Scully is here, studying with a frown.

''Mulder,'' and her voice echoes in the quiet of the room, gentle, like the caress of the breeze on his cheeks on summer days, ''what are you doing ?''

Words are heavy on his tongue, heavier on his mind, so he shrugs. Absently, he notices the burn growing in his eyes, the lump planting its roots in his throat. Scully's face wrinkles in concern but she says nothing more and simply settles next to him, close enough to brush against his side.

She's so warm, he wants to bury himself in her until she sets his soul aflame.

Instead, he hangs his head and sighs, tries to will away everything rotten in him so he can tell her to go back to sleep.

(He can't. He's selfish like that, he wants her, yearns for her, especially when the dark tugs at him. She's his light, his anchor, he realizes, and without her, there's no hope for peace. For the drifting to stop.)

''Do you need anything ?'' she asks at one point, turning slightly until her words are muffled against his shoulder. He turns to her, watches her face, so adorably sleepy, and wants to cry.

He shakes his head, and, from the depths of his mind it rises, unbidden, tumbling out of his mouth before he can think about it.

''I miss her.''

Scully's hand falls to his, their fingers interlacing. She knows who he's talking about of course.

Who else could wake him up at night, could drape him in a blanket of sorrow and guilt, if not for the sister he failed - fail - to save ?

''I know.''

It's all she says, but it's enough to open the dam, to make everything floods his mind until he can't repress the wrenching sobs from tearing his throat. Without hesitation, Scully moves on his lap, wrapping herself around him to shush his cries and hold every pieces of him together, keeping him from shattering completely.

(He wonders if the sharp edge of his shards makes her fingers bleed. If the blood is enough to prevent her from mending him back, or if she doesn't care about the crimson stain, about her own pain, when it comes to him.)

''Shh, Mulder, it's okay,'' she croons against his ear, one of her hand craddling his head, in a way that is so tender he can only cry harder. ''It's alright. You will find her.''

He's so tired of false hopes and the acid taste of disappointment. ''How can you believe that ?''

Scully pulls away slightly, combing back his hair from his forehead. ''Because if someone can, it's you. Because you will never stop until you do. Because I will help you do so.'' Her lips curl in a smile, small and sad. ''Because you're her big brother, and maybe that's what big brothers and sisters do. Find each other no matter what.''

He thinks of Melissa, buried six feet under the ground.

He thinks of Samantha, lost in the stars.

He thinks of them both, lost sisters, and weeps for their broken life.

Through it all, Scully holds him, anchoring his drifting boat.

[erodasfishtacos]

can you write something about cheating harry and yn acting like a proper couple in front of anna, like harry with his arm around her and kissing her head and stuff, and anna is just standing there fuming and maybe tries to get physical with yn

Love Your Broken Pieces

-

warnings: cheating; mentions of trauma and domestic abuse

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(any donations over $15 get a guaranteed blurb written of their choosing!)

reblog, like, comment, & come chat!

-

YN really really didn’t want to go out.

She wasn’t going to tell Harry that because it was a celebratory dinner for him because he’d just won Entrperur of the yearand she wasn’t going to ruin it.

It’s not that she didn’t want to celebrate his achievement.

She was so so proud of him but her therapy session had got moved up a day because the therapist had to go out of town.

YN didn’t want to bother him so she had went herself without telling him.

It was trauma-focused therapy which meant it was intensive, draining, and overall triggering at time.

Today had sparked a new memory that she had suppressed and she was really struggling to get through the day without his support.

She shouldn’t need him for everything. It wasn’t fair to him.

So she’d sat on her bed for thirty minutes before she managed to pull on a nice dress before curling her hair - zoning out and accidentally burning herself lightly.

Harry had to pick up Anna, offered to pick up YN.

“Hey pup, y’want me t’pick you up on the way?” Harry had called while she was swiping on mascara.

“No, I’ll just Uber,” YN try to keep her tone light but couldn’t stomach sitting in the car with that disgusting woman right now.

“No, let me come get you,” He insists, always preferring to drive her around over some stranger.

“I really don’t want to be in the car with Anna, okay? Just drop it,” YN replies a bit too tersely.

There’s a pregnant pause.

“What’s wrong, puppy?” Harry knows her much to well.

She couldn’t help but bristle, “Nothing. I just have to get ready. Okay? I’ll see you there.”

YN shouldn’t have hung up like that but her hands were shaking and it was taking all of her might to pull herself together to go.

“It’s all your fuckin’ fault your mum hates me,” Her dad had spat at her, right in the kitchen after dinner.

“Fuck,” She mumbles to herself as she drops her lipstick and it rolls under the dresser.

—

She canceled two Ubers before she found a driver who didn’t seem intimidating.

It made her fashionably late, everyone already seated, and it doesn’t make it any better when Anna greets her.

“About time. Can’t even make it at a respectable time for your supposed best friend’s dinner.”

Anna and Gemma both make a grimacing face at the rude comment but Harry interrupts before they interject, “S’okay, Uber’s can be a pain in the arse.”

“Er, yeah. The Uber…” YN mumbles lowly, there was an empty seat across from Harry that had been saved for her.

She could feel Harry’s eyes following her, studying her as she kept her head down and looked on the verge of tears.

“You look too much like your goddamn mother.”

“What d’you want to drink?” Harry asks softly, tapping her foot under the table.

“God Harry, she’s not a child,” Anna rolls her eyes as she glances over her menu.

Harry glares over at her with a strict warning glance that she needs to change her attitude or there is gonna be an issue.

“Just water,” YN replies, swallowing hard.

He knows somethings wrong when she doesn’t bite back at her, instead looking down at the menu like it’s the most interesting thing ever.

Harry had already known by the phone call.

There were quite a few people at the dinner, constantly engaging him in conversation as YN kept to herself.

It’s after the appetizer’s arrive that he can’t stand her fake smiles and attempts to seem like she’s enjoying herself.

“Outside, now,” Harry says firmly, not a question but a statement.

“Harry, don’t,” Anna huffs, not liking the private attention her enemy is about to get.

“I don’t remember askin’ you,” He hisses under his breath before following YN’s retreating figure to the main entrance.

They end up in the small alleyway, “Tell me what’s going on.”

YN’s eyes are moody, putting back on a nonchalant expression that would work for anyone but him, “I’m fine, I don’t know why you’re making a big deal. Let’s go enjoy your dinner.”

Harry backs her up against the brick wall, hand over her shoulder, “We’re not goin’ anywhere until you tel me. M’not stupid.”

It triggers something because she starts sniffling, whispers, “You’re going to be mad at me.”

His hard facial features relax, pressing his forehead to hers, “Please pup, y’know I love you no matter what.”

“My therapist moved our session to today. I went and uh…” YN begins to full on cry, burying her face in her hands.

“C’mon, tell me,” He encourages softly.

“It triggered a repressed memory. I…I didn’t want to ruin tonight for you. I fuck up everything for you already,” She chokes out, letting him pry her hands away.

“Puppy,” He murmurs with a laugh of disbelief, “I fuckin’ wake up everyday because of you. You make my life worth livin’. I’m not happy unless y’are.”

“I just…didn’t want tonight to go like this,” YN sighs quietly, “One night without my trauma.”

“Hey, hey. We’re workin’ through it together, yeah? It takes time. Y’made the effort to come and that means more to me than anything else,” He says truthfully, tilting her chin up.

Harry melts a bit when she leans up to give him a lightening fast peck, “I am so proud of all your accomplishments.”

“Wouldn’t have done any of it without you, sweet girl,” He rubs a thumb under her eye to wipe off a streak of makeup.

They stand outside for a minute longer in a tight hug.

-

When they walk back into the restaurant, Harry quietly asks Gemma to switch YN seats which she graciously agrees without a fuss.

Anna is shooting daggers at YN while the change happens and Harry pushes in her seat for her.

The whole dinner consists of Anna fuming and hanging on every single movement between the two despite her hand on Harry’s thigh.

When he scoops up a bit of his mashed potatoes and feeds them to YN, laughs when she makes a face at the amount of chives mixed in.

It’s like he doesn’t even noticed the casual arm he occasionally throws around the back of YN’s seat as they chat.

“Harry,” YN scolds with a small smile when he steals a shrimp from her plate when she’s not looking.

Anna had shrimp too and he didn’t look once to do that to her.

“S’good, here, have a bite of m’steak. Know Y’don’t like it rare but s’good. I promise,” He encourages, cutting her a thick piece.

How the fuck did Harry know how YN liked her steak?

He didn’t even remember Anna’s favorite color.

“Y’gettin’ sleepy?” Harry whispers to YN towards the end of the meal, his lips are nearly brushing her ear and Anna pinches his thigh hard.

“Fuck,” Harry replies, flinching away from the pain as he turns to his girlfriend, “Wha’ did you do that for?”

“Can you pay at least a little bit of attention to me? I’m your girlfriend despite how much YN wants to pretend she is,” Anna says haughtily, loud enough for her to hear.

Harry is about to snap on her but instead YN speaks up first, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know jealously was on the menu. Eat up, Anna.”

Anna begins to sneer but Harry says, “Why don’t you go take a second in the bathroom? Then we can talk, okay?”

With a little stubbornness, she does - stomping away from the table without looking back at YN who had rolled her eyes.

“Y’on my menu tonight? A bath and cuddle sounds nice,” He offers to his love, thumbing her upper thigh.

“So nice,” YN agrees, “Can we use that sugar cookie bath bomb?”

“Of course, anythin’ you want, m’pup,” Harry hums sweetly, kissing the top of her head.

Anna is walking back when she sees it.

He’s cheating on me.

It flashes through her mind but she pushes it away because she reminds herself that YN is a pathetic little clingy girl who Harry wouldn’t ever like that way.

—

Later that night, Harry holds YN as she recount her memory.

Praises her for being so strong.

Kisses her because he loves her so much it hurts most days.

Assures her that he’ll love her even if she’s never ‘fixed’.

Promises that he’ll never let anyone hurt her again.

—

I’d love feedback 🥺

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[ladyintree]

it wasn't that long ago when taissa approached shauna about the same thing  ---  she was the monster underneath her son's bed   (   or rather,   outside his window   )     and because of all the things she'd been through,     all the things she refused to deal with,   she was only going to keep scaring him.    she could warn simone,   but she couldn't truly tell her everything she wanted to say.   she had to go to someone who already knew,   someone who was the first to really know what horrors had come of taissa in her sleep.  for someone who had spent a majority of her life masking the worst parts of herself,    she knew she could always be her most vulnerable with shauna  ---   and in turn,  she hoped the same was true for the other woman,   especially now.

no matter what happened.   no matter the lies,  the betrayal  ---   she couldn't push it aside,   focus solely on what matters now,   and that's making sure shauna is okay.   they're relying on the usual lies they tell themselves:    that their families will be okay.   they won't.   and taissa has never been more terrified of making her way home than she is right now,   but at least for a moment,   maybe they can convince themselves there's some truth to it.   

taissa brings her arm around shauna's shoulders,   holding her against herself  ---   because even if she doesn't want to talk,   this has always been enough for them,   too.    her eyes close when she does start to speak,   as if it's a look into her own future   (   she's already fucked up her own kid enough for him to notice,  right,   so how much worse will it be when he's callie's age?   ---   if she's even still in his life,  that is.   )      

❝  we can tell ourselves that,   that we can keep the worst shit all to ourselves.   i mean,   fuck,  we've all tried that.  ❞   maybe lottie was right:   that other part of herself just didn't want to be repressed.  maybe none of this is supposed to be,   and even though she doesn't know what to do with that just yet,   it's weighing on her mind.   ❝  but the ones closest to us?   they were always gonna find out,   no matter how hard we tried,   you know?    up to you now on how much you tell her.  ❞    under any other circumstances,   those words might've come with a slight threat that she should never tell anyone,   even her daughter  ---   but things are different now.   callie saw it firsthand.   shauna can't ignore that,   and tai can't,  either.    so she'll be here,   helping her figure out the right words,   even if they feel impossible. 

as hard as it is to hear out loud,  taissa knows the relief she felt when she admitted her fear in a fury to van days prior,  too  ---  and she hopes,  if anything,  shauna at least feels that.   something about being on lottie's compound gives her the strength to be open like she once was,   many years ago,  back in the wilderness that shield them from reality.     ❝  i know, ❞    she mumbles,   hand rubbing shauna's shoulder gently as her other hand moves to her own forehead,   pressing into it at the reminder of how rare sleep has been.   ❝  i am,  too.  ❞    maybe that's all she really can say  --  her own confession of the truth.    after a long moment,  she speaks again.    ❝   but  ---   i'm not going anywhere,  shauna.  ❞    it's not a promise she can keep,  but at least for now,  she means it.  

IT'S SOMETHING ABOUT FAMILY, ALL THIS, something about the ties that bind - shauna doesn't know what family is anymore, except that it's an agony, a thing gone through together and all of them worse for it, but she knows that taissa is that for her as much as jeff or callie have ever been. not friends, not sisters, but something other, great and terrible and too much to look at head on. maybe that's why tai knows exactly what's running through her head, all of it callie, callie, callie like it should have always been but wasn't, because before they were mothers they were both of them starving and tai knows better than anyone what shauna looks like in her pain.

if she could hold more than that one thought in her head right now, she might give some attention to how selfless this is - but that's tai, isn't it, always dropping everything for shauna when she needs it, and all she can do is take what's on offer. weary sigh leaves her lips, exhaustion heavy in her limbs and heart, and she finds herself leaning into tai like a flower seeking sun. ( callie won't be okay. sammy won't be okay. right now, it feels like none of them will ever be okay again, but she has just enough sense to keep that much tucked behind her teeth. )

" i spent so long trying to - to keep all this from her, " she says, shaking with emotion, mourning. " i thought - i thought, y'know, if nothing else at least i can do this one thing to keep her safe, and now ... "

maybe, she can tell herself, she imagined what she saw: adrenaline does strange things to a person, and grief stranger still. can't touch that thought either - can't think about natalie, lifeless and terrified, finally on the brink of climbing out of whatever fucked-up hole she was in -

" i'm fucking scared, tai. " it comes out all in a rush, the most truthful thing she's said to any of them all day, and she wishes right away that she could take it back, but it's out. it's there in the air between them, chasing down possibilities. she feels like she's stuck in a plane at fifteen-thousand feet, plummeting inexorably to the ground. no airbags, this time.

[stromuprisahat]

Lucien

Third wheel to Feylin, spends the beginning of ACoMaF trapped between rock and hard place, trying not to stand up to Tamlin, his liege, failing to help Feyre or deal with his own shit.

Chapter 2

Feyre dares to ask for permission to leave the manor.

Chapter 3

She’s not allowed to test her new strengths. If Lucien can run three miles in few minutes, and she’s likely to be able to keep up with him, what’s the point of horses? Two thinks come to mind:

She won’t learn her boundaries, so she’ll stay in her human-ish ones.

A Lady doesn’t run, she’s moved elsewhere, paraded around, then moved back.

Feyre’s afraid to be weak, she thinks she’s damaged beyond repair. People around, pushing her into the role of some fragile flower, won’t help.

Lucien does what he’s ordered, not considering the impact on Feyre. Understandable. Acceptable in a soldier, not her friend.

Another word for “rules, rankings, and order” is repression. Tamlin’s the High Lord, his word is law, there’s no one forcing him to keep Feyre on such a short leash. Only his own fear.

Lucien: Look how bad Tam has it!

Feyre: Yeah, but it makes ~me~ feel like this!

Lucien: Well, you’re wrong...

“That’s not how it is and you know it.” is NOT how you persuade someone they’re safe and free, that’s affirming their fears with a drop of gaslighting.

It’s a thankless job to play a middle man, but Lucien seems to have picked a side. And he’s certainly NOT Feyre’s ally at the moment.

Again, this is just explaining why is Tamlin succumbing to his fears. Why are all those restrictions logical. Who cares about Feyre’s feelings? She obviously has them, because she doesn’t understand Tam’s difficult situation. No matter how irrational he is.

This is straight up offensive. When did Feyre wanna become a passive figure? Just some eye candy on High Lord’s arm?! She abandoned life in comfort to risk her own life to save the whole stupid Prythian, ff’s sake!

In a nutshell- Feyre’s to become a tool, accesory of her husband.

Ianthe has quite a lot of influence over Tamlin. Priestess, who’s been living with them for three months is trusted enough to know the people sufficiently to be able to decide if they can pay. I’m starting to doubt soundness of Tamlin’s judgement, not just his emotional self-control.

Okay, but what’s the point of all this, aside from making Feyre feel uneducated, less, lacking? Even worse- she’s already self-conscious due to her illiteracy, lack of knowledge will be understandably a sore spot.

If Tamlin knows this situation isn’t sustainable, he has a funny way of showing it.

Talk to him? Except Feyre tried to, and she’s told he won’t discuss that with her and leaves the conversation.

How deliberate is the choice of Lucien as Feyre’s guard and middleman between her and Tamlin’s oppressing tendencies? The person, who’s likely to see Tam’s side better? The duty won’t be his main drive, for him it’s personal.

Not to mention Lucien’s damaged enough to think lying in relationship is excusable.

Helping those people was supposed to be Feyre’s way to “learn to live again”. Instead she’s treated as an obstacle of their healing. She gave up everything and got blind worship and rejection in return.

The only way forward Feyre’s allowed to pursue, is completely out of her hands. Tied up in expectations, rules and traditions she cannot break or even only bend.

[serenheist]

What Taehyung is like in a relationship/ Taehyung as a boyfriend Tarot reading

How long does it take him to get into a relationship? & Does he prefer long or short term relationships 8 of cups, queen of swords, 10 of pentacles 9 of pentacles reversed, 4 of cups

Ffs the queen of swords always pops up. Anyway yeah I don’t see him getting into anything quickly. He could’ve in the past but I think past relationships left him drained af and feeling alienated. I think he has a shit ton of walls up and is a lot more no nonsense now. It’s probably intimidating and more blunt to others because he wants to get to the heart of why someone is trying to get with him since so many people try to pull the same shit and fuck around with him like he’s dumb. He does not settle for anything other than what he wants. If he can’t find “the one” then he legit just rather be alone. It looks like he’s now more focused on building a Legacy though and something serious and long term so he has no desire to just jump into something with anyone. He basically would wait it out and get to know them long before deciding he trusts them enough and feels comfortable enough to show his emotions and not be so aloof.

I feel like he’d be the type to not show much interest at first because he really needs to scope the person out. So the person probably wouldn’t even know he actually likes them. Actually he could be a little too jaded and bored to the point of turning away everyone even though he does want a relationship. But in his mind there’s too many people being carbon copies and trying to swindle him for his money bruh for real all of bts are having this problem like damn it keeps reoccurring. Idk why it seems like there’s people also trying to use money to get with him like they’re rich and they think he’ll just want someone loaded. Like dude he’s already rich so that doesn’t work and to him them having a ton of money means Jack shit when they have the personality of a damn rock.

Past & present love life 10 of swords, 2 of pentacles present: the hermit, 5 of wands

Past love life: welp. Do I really need to explain the 10 of swords. I think actually that he had all this past trauma and shit from relationships and even other shit he still hasn’t dealt with but there was no time to even process that because he had to get back to work and act like he was fine. I think he’s the type of person that buries himself in his career when he experiences traumatic stuff that he doesn’t want to deal with. And of course it’s easier when you’re busy 24/7 anyway. This relationship betrayed him in every way tbh but maybe it was a catalyst for better things to come though he still might not see this right now. Present: I don’t see him in a relationship now currently cause the hermit but also being a major arcana it’s like he’s really in a life stage right now where he just wants to be alone because there’s so much conflict going on and he’s feeling anxious and having all these negative pessimistic thoughts that he just needs time to himself. I don’t think he very optimistic about his love life right now he’s lost a lot of hope. Things are too chaotic elsewhere to focus on romance.

What is he like in a relationship? the chariot, ace of cup, Unicorn, fae 61, solus 13, vanth, the sun reversed, anger and chains 29, justice, 2 of swords reversed, 3 of cups reversed, avenoir 1, princess of pentacles,ta’om the poet 29, ace of swords, Thanatos

What is he like in a relationship? When he’s in a relationship he really puts all his focus on that person and will go above and beyond for them. There’s a kind of masculine and feminine balance in him in the sense that he’s ready to be the go getter and take charge but there’s also a vulnerable energy and overflowing emotions. He works hard to take care of his person and make the relationship work . The only downside is he could possibly be too smothering to his partner or come on too strongly because of past shit and maybe too clingy for some people since in a relationship he really shows his softer side and he’s not as aloof as he is to others. He loves to have little house parties with his partner and have friends and family over with a ton of food and music.

For date ideas he’s down for anything but especially something “magical” maybe literally some place like Disneyland or pagan festival like beltane? That’s specific af but there’s a medieval type of energy and nature spirits and shit, he wants to do stuff he hasn’t done before and that might even be outside his comfort zone since G. Hobyah card is all about imaginary fears and getting past them. The best qualities he has in a relationship is the ability to help his partner stand on their own 2 feet but also recognizes that you can’t do everything on your own so he’s the type of person who would go above and beyond and connect you to the right people or situations. He’s always there when his partner really needs them and will make sure to put time aside.

His worst quality is that I don’t think he knows how to express his anger in a healthy way. I think with the sun reversed next to anger and chains it’s more like he doesn’t know how to fully show it it’s kinda repressed but his emotions under the exterior are a hot mess and there’s a big need for stability. It’s like being too stubborn to admit when you mess up and petty shit cause it hurts his ego. But I don’t think it’s super bad considering the justice card I used to represent his communication style. I feel that even if he gets mad af he gets over things really quickly and one minute he’s be angry and 10 minutes later he’ll be asking you what you want for dinner like wtf.

When he likes someone he’s not going to jump in and immediately go approach them. I see him instead watching them intently from afar lol he’s very cautious and like gathering everything he can on that person. Dude’s a 1st class stalker. Jk But the thing is the person wont even know he is interested in them because he keeps a serious face as a kind of mask but on the inside he’s like a giddy kid. Ta’om is known for looking serious and thoughtful but is actually very playful and slightly mischievous. I think Taehyung is definitely one to start off as friends and slowly get to know someone rather than just start dating because he really wants to know that person well to see how real they are and if they’re just putting up a front.

He’s not attracted to new shiny things that are perfect he’s able to see the beauty in all things even in difficulty. After he’s been friends with them for awhile and knows if that person like him back, that’s when he’d actually make a move. He finds a lot of satisfaction in doing services for others until they’re completed so it makes me think his love language (giving) is acts of service but with the ace of swords is pretty obvious his Receiving love language is words of affirmation but moreso he appreciates when someone is blunt and honest and not just saying stuff to make him feel better cause then it’s just insincere.

What is his ideal type? the ageless, the star, the singer of healing 10, el shaddai, protection 26, ram, the maestro, fae 41, the sage 19, king of cups reversed, himself 17, danu, death reversed, obsession

His type: this person seems to have had some messed up stuff happen to them in their past. Even when others were horrible to them they still kept their dignity and chose to still give to others instead of give in to bitterness and despair. It’s like the Phoenix where no matter how many times they metaphorically die, they can still rise up even better than before. I think they’re able to help heal others because they’ve been through the trauma themselves but they know how to be honest and blunt without being overly mean about it. They have a kid of tough exterior though I think from years of negativity from people that’s made them strong but also a little distant from people and they need a lot of time to themselves to recharge and get away from peoples bs. Honestly this seems a lot like Taehyung too lol I think he wants someone who’s been through similar traumas.

The ram keeps calling out to me that I think this persons way of showing love is a little aggressive but that’s what Taehyung likes in someone tbh. It’s not like actually showing love it’s hard to explain. It’s more so you know when someone tries to act like sarcastic and shit to hide the fact that they like someone? Idk why it reminds me of toph from avatar the last airbender where she just punches people to show affection it’s kinda like that. Cause they’re not good at being really vulnerable. They put on this brave face and are pretty good at it to the point where you won’t notice that they’re jealous seeing you hang out with someone else. But this person is really independent like I’m not joking lmao and a go getter they don’t rely on anyone really. And don’t give a fuck who you are.

There’s 2 healing cards and honestly why is this person so similar to Taehyung lol this person is great at helping or healing others but again has to realize it’s okay to also get help for yourself. They think maybe that they’re fine on their own and they don’t like relying on others for help because people disappoint you and it’s easier to just do it yourself. But they’re really good at giving advice and are lot nicer than their exterior let’s on. Bruh the star card makes my mind keep playing that I’m gonna be a star song by twice lmao stop. I think this person actually is a star or is working up to it cause they have huge plans. This isn’t someone just wanting a mundane job I think they’re gonna go big.

Especially paired with the ram talking about they go for big dreams and huge successes. This person won’t stop until they accomplish their dreams they really don’t care what others say and will go to the extremes to get there. I see they have a lot of talents anyway but some people were like saying negative shit that their dreams are impossible but they’re learning to set boundaries with other people and it’s more of a just move in silence energy. Also usually I don’t say zodiac signs but since it’s a major arcana it might play some significance but Aquarius might be prominent in their chart (nvm I just remembered Taehyung has venus in Aquarius so duh you dumbass it wouldn’t be that out there to think he’d be drawn to Aquarius qualities).

I wonder if this person is into astrology though given all the glyphs. I think this is someone Taehyung has been trying to manifest and call in too like wishing on a star for a looooong time and maybe thought it wouldn’t come but boy does the universe have a surprise for you. They really are future oriented thinkers and know a lot about spirituality I think that a big part of who they are I really don’t think they’d be completely atheist or not care about spiritual topics. They give a lot without much thought in return and can talk about anything with openness and honesty. With Taehyung they’d teach him everything under the sun. He likes when he can share all this knowledge especially about weirder topics with someone who isn’t going to dismiss him. I see them really encouraging him to try new things and show him things he never knew were possible. They treat him like he finally belongs somewhere in the world.

This shit is kinda spooky because both the maestro guy and illbe the retriever are holding orbs/a little white ball close to them and they speak of the same thing. This person really protects Taehyungs hopes and dreams. Also they themselves obviously represent a dream that Taehyung thought was long gone and impossible. I think it can be taken literally too lol to mean that when Taehyung is being forgetful af. This person is that type of person who has your keys already when you think you lost them. They’re really the more responsible one in the relationship lmao helping him to be more organized and get his life together. The next set of cards I used to represent what his biggest turn ons are. This isn’t in a sexual way though lmao I meant the qualities he likes the most in his ideal type. Already I noticed how all the cards are facing straight ahead and looking right at you so it makes me think this person has some intense ass eye contact and looks intimidating and they got a rbf.

With the king of cups reversed I don’t think they’re actually these heartless cold bitches and that Taehyung is turned on by that because the sage card is upright and talks about the same shit but this is a person definitely who looks colder but is actually kind on the inside. He kinda likes people who look cold like that but are actually sweethearts. This person is not one of those super lovey-dovey people or uses pet names and babytalk like “my sweet baby Taehyung” whatever I think they find it very cringe. They have some trauma from when they were kids where they felt as if they aren’t allowed to act very emotional because people will think they’re weak and take advantage of them (this is just their beliefs about themselves) they instead act very macho or tough again lol like Toph from ATLA idk why I keep thinking of her but there’s like a kinda tomboy energy but they’re really not heartless they just need the right person to feel comfortable around and need to work on opening up emotionally.

There’s so much masculine and yang energy but then at the end you see this motherhood figure so it again really makes me think it’s a front and this person is so nurturing and that’s what really draw Taehyung to them. He loves the most that this person knows so much about the most random things and esoteric topics. They value tradition and stability but they also understand the need for growth and change they’re the perfect balance. Communication is really a big thing for Taehyung it’s a reoccurring theme in this. Someone who is very good at communicating and are action oriented. They say what they mean and mean what they say. It’s very important that they are their own unique individual self and have their own goals and skills and hobbies.

This person is probably a powerful manifester too and sets their intentions and goes after them. They have so much power and confidence also with the himself card they could be a dancer or love dance since he’s a dancer faerie they’re very much into creative shit. They seem very natural and not the type who got work done or wears too much makeup idk there’s like a wild energy lol like this bitch is from the damn forest. If someone attacked Taehyung this person would literally drop kick someone even if the person was bigger than them. Danu card is always protective and nurturing but ferocious if you mess with their person. Like “idc what you do to me but if you touch my guy I’ll end you”.

Now onto what Taehyung’s biggest turn offs in general are: death reversed and obsessed card lol oh god bro I am fucking done. His biggest turn off is when someone makes him the center of their universe. I mean this in the extreme way like “omg you’re my one and only we’re meant to be I think about you 5000 times a day and have an entire closet with all your pictures and I document your entire life” 👀 and he’s like uhh can you get a damn hobby? (That doesn’t involve me) Cause imagine someone’s entire life revolves around you. It’s sweet at first I guess? Lmaoo then it’s just creepy and like they have no life or personality without you. Death reversed is like something is plaguing you and following you around, pestering and annoying you. He must’ve experienced this shit irl lmao if it’s this strong with a major arcana to come up as a turn off. Cause major arcana are big ass life lessons. Like they thought he wouldn’t know they were secretly obsessed with his ass and used other people like his friends to get closer to him but I’m telling you Taehyungs intuition is something else and he always knows when people are some obsessed crazies. This is exactly why he’s so cautious now because of bs like that he can’t trust anyone. Like please stop acting like Jodi Arias and have some self respect.

[timelesslords]

it’s just around the corner darling (‘cause it lives in me)

8-year-old Annabeth is supposed to be sleeping. Instead, she overhears a few things she probably shouldn't.

***

Aka I get very in my feels about pre-TLT found family and baby Annabeth

“She’s a little kid, of course she’s fuckin’ slow.”

Thalia’s words seemed to turn Annabeth’s blood to ice.

She was supposed to be sleeping, and she almost had been before Grover and Thalia had started yelling at each other outside the door of the safe house they’d just barely made it too.

Well, until Thalia had started yelling at Grover, because Grover didn’t really yell, and he definitely didn’t yell at Thalia, who he always seemed particularly nervous and twitchy around.

All thoughts of sleeping were immediately banished as panic seized Annabeth instead.

Read on AO3

She kept herself as still as possible, eyes shut like she was sleeping. She heard Luke shift, maybe looking over his shoulder.

Annabeth wished she could see his face. Did he think she was slow too? Did Grover want to leave her behind? Luke would never let that happen, Annabeth knew that much, but she couldn’t help the guilt from washing over her anyway. Luke had had to carry her the last few miles tonight because her legs just wouldn’t work anymore, not matter how hard she tried to push them. That had only happened a few times ever, Annabeth made sure of it, but she knew they were trying to go fast now, and they were walking and running more than they ever had before. Luke hadn’t been mad, just scooped her up when he saw her stumbling. But they had gone slower after that, and it was her fault.

Annabeth felt her eyes prickle with tears, and she blinked them into her makeshift pillow. Crying was stupid, and it wasnt going to make her faster. She willed herself to stop before anyone could hear— Luke thought she was asleep, and she didn’t want to admit that she wasn’t.

Thalia and Grover were talking again, but their voices were just barely too quiet for her to make out the words. Thalia sounded mad, and Grover was talking fast, like he was trying to get the words out before Thalia yelled at him again. Annabeth picked up Grover saying “please” a few times, and then Thalia saying “no” very forcefully. They argued for another minute, Annabeth’s heart beating in nervous anticipation for each word.

“Don’t bring it up again,” Thalia snapped, loud enough for Annabeth to hear, and then she heard the door of the safe house being pulled back, and soft footsteps walking inside.

“Is she asleep?” Thalia asked, her voice barely above a whisper. It was a sharp contrast from the tone she’d been using outside with Grover. Luke must have nodded, because Thalia sighed, and Annabeth heard her sitting down.

“What was that all about?” Luke asked. Annabeth could hear the forced casual tone he was putting on. If Annabeth had heard part of the conversation then Luke must have too, but he seemed like he wanted Thalia herself to tell him. Thalia made a displeased noise.

“Grover wants me and him to go ahead. Without you two,” she said, lowering her voice even more than she had when she first entered the safe house. Despite how quiet they were, Annabeth could still practically feel the distaste in her words. Annabeth could feel her heart speeding up uncomfortably. Was Thalia going to leave them behind? But she didn’t sound happy about it at all, and that calmed Annabeth’s nerves a little.

“What did you say?” Luke asked. The forced tone was gone, replaced by irritation, Annabeth thought. It was harder to tell without being able to see his expression, but Annabeth could imagine the frown on his face pretty well.

“I told him where he could stick his furry little hooves,” Thalia muttered bitterly. Annabeth didn’t quite understand what that meant, but judging from the way Luke snorted it was probably kind of rude.

“Bet he liked that,” Luke said, sarcastically.

“Whatever. He’s the reason we’re behind anyway,” Thalia said.

She sounded angry. Annabeth knew that shouldn’t make her feel good. Thalia being mad never tended to end well, regardless of where her anger was directed. But Annabeth couldn’t help but feel a rush of relief anyway. If Thalia was angry at Grover’s suggestion then that meant wasn’t leaving.

At the same time, her words filled Annabeth with dread. They were behind, and that was bad, and Annabeth was slowing them down. Even Thalia had said so.

“Why did he want to split up at all? Isn’t three fighters better than one?” Luke asked. The forced casualness was back, and Annabeth didn’t like it, but she couldn’t help but feel a little burst of pride that he’d counted her as one of the fighters in the group.

Thalia sighed again, and Annabeth heard a scraping noise. A second later the heat from the campfire flared.

“He said it would be faster,” Thalia said finally, reluctantly, “And that it might be safer for you two to not have me around.”

“That’s bullshit,” Luke said, angrily.

“I… I don’t know. Maybe.”

“What, you think you’re special?” Luke said, though now his tone was laced with amusement.

“Well apparently I smell extra tasty,” Thalia replied, only a hint sarcastic. Luke laughed, low and quiet.

“I don’t think it matters,” he said, “Annie had monsters crawling all over her all by herself.”

Annabeth had to actively repress a shudder at the thought. She couldn’t move, couldn’t let them figure out she was awake— they would stop talking about adult things and she would miss it.

“That’s true,” Thalia said, though she didn’t sound entirely convinced.

“You’re not thinking about it, are you?”

“Of course I’m not,” Thalia said, sounding offended that Luke had even asked, “I’m pissed he even brought it up, especially after Annabeth was the one to save all our asses from that cyclops. He kept saying she’s slowing us down but we’d all be dead without her.”

Annabeth felt the same mixture of dread and pride as before. She was useful enough to not leave behind. Even if she was slow, and thinking of the cyclops cave made her want to cry.

“Asshole. He’s the one slowing us down, not knowing where the fuck he’s going,” Luke muttered darkly.

“I almost feel bad for the guy,” Thalia sighed. Annabeth heard more scraping and felt the fire flare again. “I mean he’s a kid just like us.”

“A kid who’s going to get us all killed if we’re not careful.”

Thalia hummed in agreement, and they were quiet for a minute. Annabeth didn’t really know what to think. She liked Grover— he was funny and he let her touch his hooves and he taught her how to play hacky sack— but she could tell that Luke didn’t and Thalia was starting not to. And Grover apparently didn’t like her. Or he thought she was slow, at least— but that made Thalia and Luke mad, even if they thought it was true. It was all very confusing, but she thought Luke and Thalia were on her side, at least.

“Is it weird I like watching her sleep?” Thalia asked, finally. With a start Annabeth realized they were talking about her. She tried extra hard to keep her breathing even.

“Why, ‘cause she’s not chattering your ear off?” Luke teased. Annabeth heard a soft thump and Luke’s laughter, and knew Thalia had probably punched him in the arm.

“I’d have her chat my ear off any day than have her be quiet like she’s been,” Thalia said. Luke didn’t reply. The only sound in the room was the crackling of the campfire. Annabeth could feel both their eyes on her, and she forced herself to keep looking asleep.

“I think the whole cyclops thing really freaked her out,” Thalia sighed, when Luke hadn’t spoken for a minute.

“Of course it freaked her out, she watched us all almost get eaten,” he snapped, his voice angry. Annabeth’s stomach turned. She tried to keep her expression smooth, even though she could practically smell the cyclops’ lair again. She resisted the urge to wrinkle her nose, or better yet, open her eyes and confirm that she wasn’t back there again. Their voices weren’t good enough to do that anymore, not after the monster had stolen them. She repressed another shudder.

“Well that’s why we have to get to this camp thing, right? So she doesn’t have to see shit like that anymore.”

Thalia sounded calm, not mad, but when Luke spoke again he still sounded angry.

“Bit late for that,” he said, voice quiet and bitter, and Thalia sighed again.

“Better late than never.”

Luke didn’t say anything.

Annabeth felt nerves swoop through her stomach. Did Luke not want to go to camp? He’d made it sound nice when he’d told her about it, but now he just sounded mad. Thalia wanted to, and that was a comforting thought for a minute until Annabeth remembered that Grover had wanted to split them up. But Thalia had also said she wasn’t leaving, and she’d sounded sure about that. Everything was so confusing, and Annabeth didn’t know how to figure it out. It didn’t help that her brain felt dizzy from being tired.

It took a while for either of them to talk again, to the point where Annabeth had almost drifted off to sleep for real. When Thalia spoke again her voice was quiet, so much so that Annabeth almost thought she dreamed it.

“She looks relaxed. Like a normal kid on a camping trip or something. That’s why I like watching her sleep.”

Luke sighed, heavy and deep.

“You should get some too,” he said, not really acknowledging Thalia’s words.

“You need to rest too,” Thalia said, lightly, “Grover’s keeping watch.”

Luke snorted again at that, but it was much less humorous this time. Thalia didn’t seem amused, anyway.

“Come on. You’re exhausted.”

“I’ll wake you up in a few hours and we can switch,” Luke said. Thalia made an annoyed noise, but didn’t say anything else. Annabeth felt someone lie down next to her, felt light fingers adjust the jacket she was using as a blanket so it covered her arms more fully.

Annabeth didn’t want to sleep. She knew there would be nightmares waiting for her the second she slipped out of consciousness, and she didn’t want to see them again.

But they would be walking a lot tomorrow, and she couldn’t walk if she was tired. And if she couldn’t walk then she would slow them down even more than she already was.

So instead of resisting it anymore, she let the exhaustion wash over her, pulling her into bad dreams. It would be okay in the morning. Her family would be there when she woke up, and she wasn’t going to let them down.

[nyikondlovu]

Ahead of the final episode of Chucky, here is my unsolicited dissertation on Devon, Junior and how they deal with death and losing everything. (Will also feature some Jevon crying)

I see Junior Wheeler and Devon Evans as each other's foil in the aftermath of their mothers' death. Junior is consumed with hate and blinding grief that he snaps and kills while on the other hand we see that even though he pushes Jake away, a grieving Devon isn't out for vengeance but rather a sense of control of his life and looking for justice for his mother. Chucky wanted both of them to see the parent they were close to die so they can finally become unhinged and kill, unfortunately for him Devon is just too kind and tenderhearted that he couldn't ever murder someone so he tries his luck with Junior.

Devon going to the Ray house alone, while stupid, is an act of "I don't have anything to lose" and "I need to stop Chucky from hurting anyone else." He is reckless and uncaring for his life because he lost the only parent he had so why would he value his safety? She was his protector and now that she's gone, he has no one to watch and keep him save or someone he can call for help. He feels vulnerable but not raging mad that he would go on a murder rampage and THATS what turns Chucky away from him, he can't manipulate someone who knows what he is and what he did. Devon has lost his mother the only parent he has left, he might have to move away from the only place he knew and leave behind his friends, he is the character we see the least of emotion wise so who knows what else has been eating at him? His inability to continue his relationship with Jake is understandable because at the end of the day it is JAKE’S doll, whether Chucky was gonna go on a murder spree either way doesn’t matter, Chucky is after Jake and Devon is a huge part of Jake’s life and by transfer law Detective Evans was fair game because she was the mother of a guy Jake adores so a hurt to Devon is a hurt to Jake and Devon copes with this by shutting everyone out. Jake especially. He’s not blowing a gasket but he’s repressing the true feelings he has. Devon is a classic “I’ll keep everything to myself but offer everyone else around me all my energy to make sure THEY are okay.” A deflector.

In terms of Junior and him immediately trusting a doll that just told him it tried getting his cousin to kill but failed is more a show of how unhinged he is. its not misplaced anger but just a complete snap. He lost his mother, his father is an alcoholic who to him looks like was cheating on his sick wife, his ex-girlfriend who was the most antagonistic person towards his cousin is suddenly best friends with him now and his best friend now seems to be dating the bane of his existence AKA Jake. in his mind, he has nothing and no one and Chucky takes full advantage of that by using the same lines that worked on Jake in episodes 1, 2 and part of 3 right before he had Lexy and Devon, "I'm the only friend you got." "I'm here for you." "some people deserve to die." I don't know, I might be looking too much into the show and thinking way too deep and just create false mindsets for the characters haha

Coming into the finale I think that Devon will survive the kidnapping by being saved by Jake, one of the kids will die at the (tiny) hands of a Chucky minion maybe Lexy as a way to protect the family she found in Jake and Devon or Junior when he tries to go after Chucky after finding out he pushed his mother to her death and that we'll have a Chucky doll or two that still has Charles Lee Ray's soul in them as a cliffhanger in case the show gets renewed for a season two

Edit: SEASON TWO CONFIRMED. 🕯🕯🕯MANIFESTING DEVON SURVIVE🕯, JAKE SURVIVE🕯, JEVON RISE AGAIN🕯, JEVON FINAL BOYS🕯🕯🕯

I have no idea why a break up between two 14 year olds hit me as hard as it did maybe because Jake finally had one good thing in his life (the only reason he stayed in Hackensack) and he lost it because of Chucky and also how liking Jake so much helped Devon come out to his mother...goodness I love these kiddies and need to protect Devon AT ALL TIMES!

Also, check out my Jevon edit!

[mythicamagic]

Enemies to Lovers - Sesshoumaru is injured - "Lean on me" prompt

AN: Because there’s a lot of prompts to get through I probably should have/could have spent more time on this one due to the heavy subject matter buuut since in the anime Sesshoumaru only gets 11 episodes to recover from the loss of his arm, I don’t feel too guilty XD

Warning: body trauma

---

Inuyasha's wench had found him around an hour ago. Unlike Rin, she'd deliberated approaching for a few moments. Unsurprising. They were still foes after all. Crimson eyes remained burning, glaring listlessly at her face.

She'd seemed to silently decide something, determination steeling her expression. The yellow nekomata he vaguely recalled belonging to the slayer was her sole companion, who growled at him warningly not to try anything. As if he would.

The miko carried a large cumbersome bag, so he assumed she'd been headed somewhere before running into him within the forest.

Kagome cleaned his wound as best she could, before binding it to try and stop the excessive blood loss. She'd then approached with the beast, proceeding to kneel beside his bloody form. Sesshoumaru remained where he was, reclined against a tree and settled at its base.

Kagome winced, arm secured around his waist after having removed his armour.

"I can't just leave you like this. Lean on me. I'll take your weight enough to move you onto Kirara."

Sesshoumaru turned his head, gazing at nothing.

His lips moved, speaking too softly for her to hear.

"What?"

He repeated himself in a tight voice. "What is the point?"

Kagome stiffened against him. Her heart thudded quicker, fear brushing his senses.

Sesshoumaru allowed his hazy red eyes to dull into empty gold, staring right at the woman.

He could survive a missing arm. Had adjusted his fighting style enough to manage.

But the Killing Perfection could not survive the loss of a leg too. His body would save him from blood loss, but his spirit lay broken, irreparable.

Kagome swallowed loudly, resting a hand on his upper thigh. His leg ended below the knee.

"T-this… it's nothing for you," she mumbled quietly. "You're going to be okay. You'll find a way to walk again."

Sesshoumaru chuckled dryly, resting his head back against the trunk. "Why do you care, wench?" he flashed sharp teeth at her. "We are not allies. Leave me."

"I won't," Kagome moved closer, grabbing a handful of his hankimono. "Listen, I might not be your friend and you've tried to kill Inuyasha more than a few times, but…" her hand shook. "But you're the strongest person I've met. If you fall, then what hope do the rest of us have?" she questioned softly. "Despite myself, I admire people like you and Kikyo. Always so crazy strong."

Sesshoumaru scoffed, gripping her hard by the hair and forcing her head down to look at the stump of his right leg. "Do I look strong to you, miko?" he hissed in her ear.

Kagome braced her hands on his available leg, twisting in his grip to look at him.

Sesshoumaru stilled.

Unshed tears lay in her eyes.

"Yes," she muttered with conviction. "So long as you don't give up now."

Sesshoumaru stared. Inky black hair slowly fell limp around his fingers. He settled back against the tree.

Kagome straightened, winding an arm around his waist again. "At least come with me to find shelter. You can't stay like this out in the open."

Sesshoumaru remained dead weight. He did not see the point in trying.

He could not hope to recover from this.

Kagome tugged and heaved at his body, his mass much too big for her to hope to move.

She sighed with frustration, blowing air at her bangs. "I'll tell Inuyasha about this," she grumbled.

Sesshoumaru blinked, sliding his gaze back to her. "I would kill you before you managed to leave."

Kagome smiled a little, patting his shoulder. "That's better. You look a bit more like yourself when you're threatening someone."

He wanted to snap at her. To snarl and bite the soft looking skin of her neck, frighten her enough to leave.

He was tired. A part of him felt content to die after his pride lay in such shattered tiny pieces.

And yet…

And yet a part of him, instinctive, strong and indomitable, refused to lay down and perish. It appreciated her continued efforts.

The thought of him hobbling about so pathetically was almost too much to bear, but Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, realising very wretchedly that this meant he did not in fact wish to die.

"We can do this," Kagome was muttering, trying to angle him enough to lay on Kirara, who pressed in close, offering assistance.

Sesshoumaru stifled a sigh, making a silent choice. He begrudgingly leaned against her, shifting his remaining leg beneath him.

Kagome gasped, "that's it!" she encouraged, helping him into a crouching position before he fell forward onto the beast. Kagome adjusted his leg, ensuring he was steady, before nodding for Kirara to stand.

Sesshoumaru did not pay attention to their surroundings, the forest passing in a blur.

If he'd just been quicker, the bull demon who had humiliated him would have perished sooner. The beast had produced a second weapon out of thin air, axe cleaving through muscle and bone. All he could do was pull back- lest he lose his entire lower half.

He felt no pain. Surprisingly, everything remained numb. His flesh was cold and clammy, and he lay as if outside of his own body.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, lapsing into unconsciousness.

---

The scent of rain stirred his senses.

Sesshoumaru turned his head, finding himself laying down upon a strange futon that resembled a squashed cocoon. The nekomata lay behind him, keeping him warm.

Sesshoumaru blinked. The miko had found them shelter. He soon located her sitting at the mouth of the cave, looking out at the rain while a fire lay in the centre of the cool space.

When she noticed he’d regained consciousness, Kagome rose and offered some water from her strange water container.

She’d changed clothes, donning more unusual clothing Sesshoumaru was unfamiliar with. Her pants clung to her form distractingly.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, hovering close.

He tsked, passing back the water after taking a swig. “Like I have one leg and one arm. How do you think I am feeling, mortal?”

She winced, “shitty.”

“Indeed,” Sesshoumaru lay back down, staring at the cave ceiling soberly.

“Do you want something to eat?” a crunchy noise rustled from her pocket as the woman produced a rectangular bar of some kind.

He couldn’t keep the disgust out of his voice, eyeing a picture of the food on its strange packaging. “What is it?”

“A peanut butter and chocolate energy bar,” Kagome winced. “Look I don’t know how to hunt-” he scoffed, “-so this is the best I’ve got. Sorry, your Highness.”

Sesshoumaru sneered, “you may keep it. I do not eat human food. Least of all bizarre creations such as that.”

“Fine but it's your loss.”

His expression became blank, noticing her wince and start apologising for the wording. He wasn’t listening anymore though. The initial shock was beginning to wear off, and now he was more than painfully aware of the shooting pains running up and down the remainder of his leg, from stump to upper thigh. Sweat began to bead on his forehead, refusing to show his discomfort.

“...You’ve used a human arm before,” Kagome said carefully, sitting beside him and crossing her legs. “And what looked like a dragon one. By that logic, you could attach a demon leg to yours, right?”

Sesshoumaru slid his gaze to her, silently thankful for the distraction. The coming agony would be something he’d already dealt with due to the loss of his arm. Phantom limb pain was a real bitch.

“Yes,” he managed, before taking a steadying breath. He managed to arrange his features into something smirking and lofty. “Are you implying you will fetch me a new limb, little miko? How very generous.”

Kagome’s eyes turned flat. “I’m not about to go out and lop off some poor demon’s foot just to help you. But...if…” she said slowly, “if I’m attacked- which happens often because of the jewel shards- maybe I’d…”

Sesshoumaru dropped his smug expression, frowning softly.

The rain continued to pour, pelting the ground hard. It was a sobering reminder that if she’d left him to the mercy of the elements, he’d be in a much worse state.

He ran careful attention over her features. “Why?”

Kagome’s deep blue eyes held his probing stare, not a flicker of deceit in them. “I don’t know,” she admitted softly, “things can’t go back to normal for you right away- or at least, they shouldn’t. You should take the time to recover. I don’t know how the hell you managed to come after us so quickly after losing your arm. It likely wasn’t healthy for you.”

He arched a brow. Repressing every single fibre of the experience and any feelings about the fate that had befallen his left arm had worked wonders for his recovery. Granted it made sleep difficult at times, but none had ever had the audacity to lecture him about his decisions before.

“But- I also don’t want you to be vulnerable to attacks or starvation,” Kagome kept rambling. “Giving you a leg won’t solve everything but it’ll help- ah, are you burning up?” she noticed a bead of sweat roll down his temple, reaching out automatically.

Sesshoumaru snatched it mid-air, pushing up with a burst of speed and yanking Kagome down, simultaneously rolling atop her. Her back hit the ground, punctuated with a squeak from her startled lips.

Silver hair hung down, creating a curtain that blocked out the rest of the world. Those blue eyes widened, breath hitching. Their lower halves pressed intimately together, stomachs meeting as Sesshoumaru leaned closer, using his hand to brace his weight above her. A fire burned within the back of his throat, ancient, tattered pride stinging. He found that he resented her slightly. Resented her for seeing him so weak. It hadn’t mattered when Rin had found him wounded. A battered child had no relation to him. But this girl, Kagome- was an enemy. She should not have seen him thus.

“Do I seem so very vulnerable to you?” he asked in a hushed voice, mouth inches from hers. The fire crackled, rain pouring. Her breathing sounded a touch quicker, heartbeat loud in his ears. Drumming.

Against all logic, he felt her body relax beneath his. She even smiled a little, “no,” she muttered.

“Is something amusing?”

“I’m just glad you proved me wrong. I’d rather you kept acting like a jerk than look so...defeated like you did earlier,” Kagome gave a nervous giggle, gesturing between them, “uh...if you could let me up now though that would be great.”

She tried to rise, but he let more of his weight sink down upon her soft, warm body. “No, I do not think I will.”

Kagome gasped, drawing a knee up and inadvertently opening her legs, allowing him to fit snugly against her. If he hadn’t lost a limb several hours earlier that same day and wasn’t experiencing agonising, blinding pain, Sesshoumaru had to say, the feeling was enough to make him...consider something previously thought impossible between himself and humans.

As it was, he hissed a breath through grit teeth, the stump licking phantom flames of blazing fire around the wound.

“Sesshoumaru? Sesshoumaru!”

He shuddered, trying to prevent himself from crushing her beneath his weight, arm shaking.

It hurt. It suddenly hurt like hell- and nothing was working. No distraction could take him from the blistering, lonely, maddening sensation that holy fuck his leg was missing. He wanted to do something as meaningless as wriggle his toes and he could not-

Suddenly, her arms were around him. Pleasant fresh scents assaulted his fractured senses, citrusy and clean. Kagome pulled him down while rolling herself, flipping their positions.

“I don’t have anything for the pain,” her voice strained apologetically. She quickly moved off him, but Sesshoumaru wasn’t paying attention anymore. He panted, temples pounding. His body shook, pain shooting through the nerve endings in the remainder of his leg.

Something cold and wet lay over his marked forehead. Cracking the burning suns of pained golden eyes open, he watched Kagome adjust the cold compress, before checking his leg.

“You heal quick, but you need new bandages. M-maybe that’ll help until I can go home for painkillers,” she muttered, grabbing her bag and digging through it.

Sesshoumaru panted softly, seizing the fretting miko’s wrist.

“Your...scent,” he grunted.

“What?”

If he were sober he’d never request something so undignified, but Sesshoumaru kept talking, somewhat delirious now that all sense of shock had worn off. “Come here...again. I want your scent.”

Kagome’s shocked features were lost to him as the Daiyoukai hissed, squeezing his eyes shut.

The scent of citrus returned after a moment. Soft, curling locks of dark hair brushed his nose as Kagome gingerly embraced him.

Sesshoumaru wrapped an arm around her shoulders, burying his face into the black fall of citrus-scented strands. He lost himself to instinct, gripping onto the stable, pleasant sensations that took the form of Inuyasha’s wench. She let out a tense breath but soon relaxed against him, verbally assuring Kirara when the nekomata growled.

For the second time that day, Sesshoumaru unwillingly lost the battle for consciousness.

----

She was gone by the time he awoke in the morning, but the nekomata remained. She growled and hissed softly whenever he looked at the beast for longer than necessary. Kagome left a note, explaining that she’d be back soon.

Sesshoumaru had little to do except wait. The pain had become a continuous throb, which was easier to deal with but equally as irritating, exhausting him.

When Kagome returned several hours later, she produced wrapped pieces of cooked chicken from her bag, cheerfully explaining that she’d returned home. Sesshoumaru turned his nose up slightly at the food.

“I would have preferred the bird...raw.”

“Wait like freshly dead?”

“Alive, favourably.”

Kagome gaped, leaving the lunchbox with him. “That's terrible!”

Sesshoumaru stared at her flatly, opening his mouth and drawing out his tongue, transforming his features into something more monstrous and canine while placing the food into his mouth and eating it in one quick snap of his jaws. “Demon,” he muttered pointedly.

She rolled her eyes and let him finish his meal in peace.

---

They fell into an odd routine of planned visits for several days, talking about the strange things she brought back from home. He came to learn she was from the Future, of all places. They discussed its advanced technologies while she bandaged his leg.

He suspected the miko felt some sense of responsibility for him now. The thought set his teeth on edge, mildly humiliated.

When he brought up the subject of his vassal, ward and steed, Kagome shrugged and told him they’d been accepted into Inuyasha’s group for the time being. They worried about his continued absence and Inuyasha complained about having to share a space with Jaken, but bared with it. Not one person knew about his situation except Kagome, for which he was thankful.

By the end of five days though, Sesshoumaru needed to move. He began by pulling himself along the ground via his hand and knee, which proved awkward but not impossible. Next came standing, which- after many failed attempts- he finally managed to do, gripping onto the cave wall.

Walking was impossible, of course. And by the time Sesshoumaru realised the very sobering truth that he’d have to hop everywhere the rest of his life or walk with the use of a cane or crutch unless he could grab a demon leg- he wondered why he’d bothered moving at all.

“You’re standing!”

Dulled golden eyes slid to the miko, who stood at the mouth of the cave. In her arms was a large sack faintly marred with blood, and he could tell from the wrinkle of her nose exactly what it was. Surprise slammed into his gut.

“Miko-”

Kagome set the bundle down, hurrying over and steadying him when he tipped too much to one side. “Are you alright? You should be resting-”

“Give me the leg, miko.”

Kagome fell silent, eyeing his stump. He’d stopped needing bandages two days ago. She didn’t protest, merely looking at him carefully. “Are you sure?”

Sesshoumaru leaned against her, allowing her to help ease him down into a sitting position. He briefly touched her cheek, gliding a thumb there and watching it redden. His heart thudded with gladness. “I am sure.”

She nodded, soon bringing the bloodied sack over. She explained that he’d gotten lucky, as while the first two demons they’d faced in a group of three had been too large and bulky to fit his build, the third had been smaller. Inuyasha had been extremely disturbed and suspicious when she’d asked him to hack their leg off once all three were dead.

“It’s not been easy, avoiding his questions, you know. He’s tried to follow me here more than once. I managed to convince him that this leg was for my weird Grandpa.”

Sesshoumaru blinked, finding himself watching her instead of studying the leg as it was revealed to him. The miko had been astronomically helpful and considerate in all the ways one could to a demon lord. His chest felt strange. Warm, upon realising the extent of her actions for his sake.

“Well, do you like it?”

Sesshoumaru jolted, focusing on the red-scaled leg laying before him. From its scent, he knew it to be from a lizard demon. Not his first choice, but this was no time to be picky. Sesshoumaru grabbed it and pressed the severed end to his stump after aligning it. He didn’t so much as flinch as muscle and bone wove together, the process over in seconds. Kagome gaped with amazement.

When he moved to stand, she quickly assisted, pulling him to his feet. Sesshoumaru took a step and staggered, looking downwards.

Ah.

Kagome’s hand flew to her mouth. “Oh. Oh no...it's too short isn’t it?”

The height was off by a few inches.

He made to reply- before stiffening, scenting salt. “Why are you crying about it, foolish woman?”

“I-I’m sorry,” she waved it off, some tears escaping down her cheeks before she roughly brushed them away. “I just wanted it to be perfect but now you’re kind of...tilted.”

Despite the situation, a smile tugged at his mouth. A noise bubbled up from the back of his throat, escaping as a quiet laugh.

Kagome froze, tears clinging to her lashes.

“It is fine, miko. More than...fine.”

Sesshoumaru held onto the wall for support, feeling the bite of putting weight onto the leg, his stump flaring. It would take time for his body to adjust. Despite this, his warrior heart filled with purpose again, powers working to heal him. Just having the ability to walk after having it stolen away renewed his spirits.

Kagome watched him with a smile, occasionally offering aid but largely keeping her hands off. He could sense various soft emotions rolling off her in waves. Admiration, relief and something else. Something he could not name. It remained untouched and unnamed long after he left the cave behind one afternoon.

He had no writing utensils to leave a note, instead carefully tearing out a segment of his sleeve, leaving the red and white flower symbol of his family crest for her to find.

---

Kagome panted hard, catching her breath and folding down into a crouch, gripping her bow tight.

“Are you alright, Kagome?” Rin asked, closely followed by Shippo as they approached from Ah-Un, having kept away from the random attack on the village. Thankfully the hoard of boar demons had finally been dealt with, but Kagome’s nerves were shot to hell after racing around so much, trying to protect villagers.

“I-I’m fine, guys, thanks,” she smiled, looking between them both. The orphans had bonded quickly, and she felt a surge of warmth, happy they had a companion their age to talk with. It had been two weeks since she’d last seen Sesshoumaru since his disappearance, and while she loved having Rin around, it did make her worry. Sesshoumaru always returned to his group. Where had he run off too?

Maybe he went to find a better leg, she thought, taking the children’s hands and walking towards Miroku- who was helping up an old man from where he’d fallen. Perhaps he needed time to get used to walking on what’s essentially a prosthetic.

For humans- such a thing took up to one year. Demons really are something else.

Kagome’s lips curved, picturing the burning, determined gaze of the Daiyoukai.

Or rather, Sesshoumaru is something else.

“Kagome, look out!” Miroku yelled.

Jerking, Kagome sensed a lone boar youkai barrelling towards her through the forest, knocking trees aside. It was quicker than anticipated- and despite Kagome grabbing the children and trying to run out of its way, it charged straight for her, grunting, throwing its head wildly.

People were screaming her name, but they were too far away. Kagome twisted her body, pushing the kids aside and in order for her to take the brunt of the hit-

Red light exploded to life, consuming the boar demon before it could reach them. Hide and blood were caught up in the attack, leaving Kagome mercifully free from the boar's flying carnage.

She panted, shaking a little and gazing at the steaming remains of the demon. A pale figure floated to the ground, landing elegantly.

“Lord Sesshoumaru!” Rin cried happily.

“Lord Sesshoumaru?!” Jaken’s distant yell could be heard.

Kagome straightened, heart doing a funny thing in her chest. She immediately looked at his leg- finding him clad in white hakama pants and black boots. The same as always.

Blue eyes widened. He appeared completely unchanged. Somehow, he must’ve found an inhuman demon and took their leg so that he could masquerade as his usual self.

His tiny group circled around him joyously, while Kagome’s friends gathered together a little ways away. Inuyasha’s ears pinned back to his head with displeasure.

Jaken hopped up and down. “Where have you BEEN, mi lord!”

“Nowhere."

“Tch, bastard,” grumbling, Inuyasha raised his voice a touch. “Hey- you could at least thank us for babysitting your damn group while you were probably out doing power-hungry shit.”

Sesshoumaru’s gaze slid over the Hanyou dismissively, stopping on Kagome. Her breathing hitched.

“I am not here to thank you, Inuyasha.”

Kagome remained frozen as a shadow fell over her face, his head of silver hair blocking out the sun. Golden eyes replaced the burning circle in the sky, blazing and intent. Slit pupils pinned her in place.

She was vaguely aware of her friends exclaiming in surprise and alarm, thinking he meant to harm her. The sound of Inuyasha drawing his sword was enough to make her mutter ‘sit boy’ absentmindedly, paying no attention to his subsequent impact with the ground.

Sesshoumaru raised a hand, resting pale knuckles against her cheek in a slow drag down to her jaw, skin cool, clashing against her warmth. White lashes lowered, becoming half-mast.

“You’re okay?” she breathed.

“Hn, I merely needed some time,” Sesshoumaru’s low rumble melted her insides.

She cleared her throat, cheeks tinging red because of his proximity, his dark youki brushing her senses, his touch- his everything. Reaching into her pocket, she produced the segment of his clothing, the pattern of his clan. “Did you want this back-?”

“Keep it,” he closed her fingers over it, catching her eye. “You have my loyalty for what you have done for this one, miko. Keep it,” he said softer.

Kagome nodded slowly, opening her mouth to ask more-

Firm lips slanted over her own. Stiffening, she became deaf to her friend’s even louder exclamations of surprise, Miroku quietly voicing his awe, impressed.

The miko inhaled sharply through her nose, feeling Sesshoumaru’s mouth move, brushing against her own in several lingering kisses. Blushing, it took a moment for Kagome to get over her stupefaction. But then she pressed a little closer, kissing him back perhaps a little nonsensically. But it felt right. Her toes curled at the feel of him.

A low groan rumbled in his throat and his lips softened against hers, mouth parting to brush his sinuous tongue against hers.

Kagome shivered and wondered if he could hear how her heart hammered in her chest. His palm felt steady upon her back, arm encircling her waist. When they finally pulled away, their lips lingered close.

“What...what was that?” she breathed, cheeks flushed.

Sesshoumaru’s lips quirked, “that was this Sesshoumaru conveying my deep sense of gratitude, miko.”

“Funny way of thanking someone, but I’ll take it,” Kagome’s eyes glittered. She could think about the consequences of such an action later. For now, she was content to hold his gaze and keep his secret safe- for however long the prideful Daiyoukai needed.