#anyway that's all i've got of my 'i haven't smoked yet and have no one to rant to' bullshit

[whorejolras]

i genuinely don't understand when civs are like "well obviously I WOULD NEVER do sex work but i still support you" like why did you have to preface it? i know you're not cut out for my job babe believe you me that's not even a discussion (also no one asked) but why do you have to preface your support with a firm separation of You from Us. like when you hear that back does that sound supportive or does it sound weird and off putting?

[chaoticharrington]

Chapter One: Professor Harrington and Mr. Munson

***THERE WILL BE LOTS SMUT 18+ CONTENT EVENTUALLY SO MINORS THIS IS NOT A SPACE FOR YOU, MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED,IF YOU DONT HAVE AN AGE IN YOUR BIO I WILL LIKELY ASSUME YOU'RE A MINOR AND BLOCK. DM FOR ANY QUESTIONS THANKS!<3***

Pairing: Professor! Steve Harrington x Best Friends Dad! Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Not much...YET.. lots of smutty smutt smutt to come. Vague mention of depression/ bad childhood/anxiety , mention of drug use/ cigarette smoking, Eddie and Steve being hot, Reader is in their mid 20s and Eddie and Steve are early to mid 40s

Summary: Reader moves to the one and only Hawkins, Indiana and meets her sexy new sociology professor and realizes she might have a crush on her best friends dad..oops

Authors Note: Hi folks!!! this is so nerve wracking i've never really properly written for either of these characters before except in my head and reading lots and lots of smut! I really hope you guys like it, i'm really excited for what's to come for this series, I haven't thought of a name for it yet so i'm just going to go chapter by chapter but its gonna be a fucking wild ride so buckle your seat belts :) 4k words (Also older Eddie pic by the lovely @eddiemunsons-missingnipple )

**Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five**

(banners and headers by @cafekitsune)

Were you doing the right thing? Could you do this on your own? What if you failed?

Your head filled with doubt now that your dreams you’ve had since you graduated high school were now coming to fruition. You saved up all the money you could, working odd jobs for a few years after high school to have enough money to get out of your hometown and into a good college states away.

You shake away all the negative thoughts, no. This had to work you were going to make sure it worked. This is your new start, to create your own life. It had to be better than back home, where no one gave a shit about you and your own parents didn’t care enough to stick around after you graduated high school, not that they were the most involved parents to begin with anyways. Even the friends you had back home were just party related or friends of friends, you were always on the outside looking in, never properly fitting anywhere. The only reason you decided to move specifically to Hawkins was because your only real friend, Violet, that you’ve had since you were 12 had moved here 10 years ago and you’d made a pact long ago that if you ever got out of that town, you’d follow her here.

You pinch your fingers to the bridge of your nose, willing the thought of your parents and back home to go back into the little dark corner of your brain. You can’t breakdown now, not right before your first class, how pathetic would that be?

“Focus focus focus, come on you got this.” you muttered quietly to yourself over and over until the anxiety subsided. You take a deep breath, willing your lungs to fill with air to cool down your buzzing insides. You look in your car mirror to make sure your makeup still looked good and fidgeted with your clothes.

You were never one to obsess over your appearance by any means, but you really wanted to make a good first impression. You had your hair pulled up into a butterfly clip and had on your favorite dress a pair of black tights and your trusty Dr. Martens. With one final look in the mirror, you sigh and grab your bookbag and get out of your car. You look on your phone to triple check that you were in the right place, the last thing you needed was to be lost or even worse late to your first class.

You’d only moved into your apartment off campus the day before so you haven’t had time to look around the town or get used to your surroundings yet. You noted that your car didn’t stick out like a sore thumb. Your car was a few years old and was always something of an insecurity for you. But most of the cars that filled the almost completely full parking lot were older or used cars, which put you at ease. You head into the Humanities and Social Sciences building and check for a fourth time, Sociology 101 room E142 Professor Harrington.

The room is much bigger than you thought, chairs and desks circling the podium at the front of the room. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as the room was only half full of other stressed out looking students preparing for their day ahead. You decide to pick a seat towards the middle of the room to not look too eager.

As you’re getting your laptop and books out of your bookbag you hear footsteps walking into the room and the girls behind you immediately start giggling and whispering to each other. You look to see where they’re looking hoping they aren’t making fun of you, you see them biting their lips and looking at the front of the class. You follow their eyeline and your breath hitches.

Where your sociology professor should be standing is an Adonis, he has thick honey brown hair, peppered with grey, that frame his handsome face. His skin impossibly sun kissed like he’d just come back from a tropical island and not living in Hawkins, Indiana. He smiles nervously at the class; his smile is warmer than the sun despite his nervousness, warming you from the inside out. He’s wearing a white button down covered by a navy blue sweater, a pair of grey slacks and black high top converse.

“Ahoy folks! Are you guys ready to set sail on this vast ocean called Sociology with me? I’ll be your Captain Professor Harrington!” he claps his hands, his eyes waiting and hoping for a response.

The girls behind you giggle and a few other students around the room follow suit, he sighs contently. He goes onto explaining the syllabus and assignments for this semester. The class flies by, he’s easy to listen and pay attention to, sure his looks help but he seems genuinely interested in what he’s teaching. Which is a breath of fresh air, you diligently take notes, making sure not to miss anything. Before you know it, class is over and people start packing up their things.

“Oh class before I forget, if any of you are commuters, come get a parking pass from me unless you want a ticket.” he announces to the class, most of the class you assume living in the dorms hurry out of the room.

“Because not only are we charging students tuition we are also charging students just to park on campus, capitalism at its finest folks,” he snorts, shakes his head, and walks to his desk leaning against it.

After finally putting all your things away and checking where your next class is you head up to him. Just being near him makes your heart beat a million miles a minute, like your unworthy of being in his presence let alone so close to him.

He smiles warmer and wider as you stand in front of him, “Hey what can I do ya for?” he asks brightly.

“Oh, uh, I just need a parking pass if that’s okay,” you say quietly.

“More than okay my dear!” he declared. You blush at his words while he picks around in his desk drawer for a parking pass. His nose scrunches up in frustration as the digging becomes hastier and more urgent.

“I coulda swore I put em in here… or did I leave them in my office?... shit,” he breathes.

You giggle at his disorganization, and he looks up at you embarrassed, you wondered how a man who looks like how he does could ever be embarrassed about anything. The girls who sit behind you would agree.

“I promise I’m not usually this discombobulated.. just uh first days always come sooner than I think.” he chuckles

You nod knowingly at him “No worries I can always get it tomorrow or something.” you say waving his worries off.

He looks up at you through his glasses relieved “Really? That- that would be amazing. I would go grab them from my office, but I don’t think I have enough time to before my next class.” He studies you for a second like he’s actually looking at you for the first time.

“What’s your name again hun?” he says casually, as he opens his computer and types on his keyboard.

Your heart flutters at the continued use of nicknames, you take a second to study him again before you respond. He’s hunched over his desk, typing and clicking away on his computer like he’s searching for something. His eyes crinkled at the edges with age, memories of many days smiling and being in the sun. You notice his freckles that adorn his face and neck that you couldn’t see during class. If you had it your way, you’d take your time to count them all to try and make sense of his godly beauty. And his hands.. his hands look so strong effortlessly gliding across his keyboard.

You must have taken too long to answer because he looks up at you expectantly and raises his eyebrow and smirks. You shake your head slightly trying to regain your composure.

“S-sorry first day jitters, my heads a bit scrambled,” you confess to him. You tell him your name quickly, you hoped that your cheeks didn’t look as red as they felt.

His eyes softened a bit and nodded and continued to type on his computer for a couple more seconds before turning to you again.

“I emailed campus security to let them know that it’s my fault you don’t have a pass and if they do give you a ticket just bring it to me and I’ll sort it out for you, okay?” he states and steps away from his computer to face you again.

“Oh wow thank you so much Mr. Harrington, I really appreciate it!” you chirp

His face scrunches up at the name, and chuckles, some of his honey brown hair falling in front of his face, his hand ready to catch them and put the strands back in place. You were mesmerized.

“Uh Mr. Harrington is my father, call me Steve er Professor Harrington works to if you don’t want to be on a first name basis.” He says kindly

“Oh well thank you regardless…Steve.” his name sounds foreign but good on your tongue. You stare at your shoes and then realize that you’ve been in here looking at your professor for far too long.

What the fuck were you thinking? He probably thinks you’re insane but is too nice to say so.

“Ya of course,” he dismisses you easily.

“Anyways I don’t wanna keep you, have a good day,” you apologize.

"You too Y/N,” he calls, as you head out the door, glad that your back is to him so he can’t see you blush again just because he said your first name.

“Get it the fuck together.” you mutter to yourself as you walk aimlessly out of his classroom.

The rest of the day goes without a hitch, you find yourself actually excited for the upcoming topics in your classes. You’ve never given yourself the opportunity to properly nerd out about the things you’re interested in.

You finally get back to your car after all your classes and groan at the sight of a ticket stuck onto your windshield.

“Fuck…” you whine

Too tired to get it taken care of today you drive home and plop on your bed. Even though your classes were super interesting, it was very mentally draining. Extra draining because you’ve tried to force your brain to focus on classes and not think about your sexy sociology professor.

Was he this nice to all his students? Did you catch him eyeing you up while you were talking or were your eyes playing tricks on you? You keep trying to reassure yourself he is just really nice. But his hands… his smile…

You groan and rub your hands against your face trying to shake all the whirling thoughts out of your head. You force yourself to think about literally anything else, then your tummy rumbles. You haven’t had time to grocery shop considering you had just moved in yesterday and your fridge was completely empty except for some bottles of water and condiments.

Your phone buzzes next to you on your bed, you open it and smile.

“BITCHHHH I MISS U COME OVER! You’ve been in Hawkins over 24 hours & ive gotten radio silence from u! ur presence is being requested in the munson household immediately!

P.S Bring food my dad is starving me over here”

“At your service m’lady, cheeseburgers good?” you respond quickly

“ur a life saver babe<3”

Your mind drifts away from your professor and the ticket that is burning a hole in your bookbag. This place already feels more like home than any time you’ve ever spent where you were born. You missed your best friend so much. Violet Munson has been your ride or die best friend for as long as you can remember. You two became friends when you were sitting alone in the lunch room one day and she came and sat right down next to you and you two have been inseparable ever since… that is until her dad decided to move her back to Hawkins to be closer to family after the divorce right before freshman year. You had been crushed getting your best friend ripped away from you like that, but then you guys made the pack to get out of dodge when you could, and now you’re here… in Hawkins,Indiana.

You change into comfy clothes and grab some cheeseburgers, fries, and onion rings from the only burger joint in town and headed over to the Munson residence. You’ve never actually been to her house before because your parents never allowed you to visit after she moved away, so you two mostly kept in contact over constant texts and lots of facetiming.

Pulling up to her house you were more nervous than you thought, you hadn’t seen her in so long and hoped things wouldn’t be awkward. You turned off the ignition, grabbed the food, and went to open your door when you heard a scream come from the front of the house. You lift your eyes to see your best friend jumping up and down on the front porch in her pajamas. Violet had long bright purple hair and thick black eyeliner, kind eyes, a wide smile, and an infectious laugh.

“YOU’RE HERE YOU’RE REALLY FUCKING HERE HOLY SHIT!”

You laughed and dropped all the food in the front seat of your car and ran to meet her in the middle of her lawn and tackled her to the ground. You hugged her tight, squeezing your eyes together wishing the tears at the corner of your eyes to go away.

“Vi I missed you so fucking much.” you whisper

“Awe babe I missed you too.” she shares

You both get up off the grass and you grab the food and head inside. You set the food down in front of the tv like you used to do when she lived closer to you. You sit down on the couch and while she grabs plates. You sigh deeper into the couch, everything was just picking up exactly where you two had left off, you were gonna be okay. You smile quietly to yourself and then head to the kitchen to help her bring everything into the living room. You decide to watch a new horror movie that just came out, the two of you always bonding over everything creepy and spooky. You let Violet tell you about her partner Quinn, who she met a few years ago and was head over heels in love with.

Then the front doorknob jingled, and you heard the familiar thud of heavy boots.

“Ho- holy shit is that Y/N?!”

You turn to face the familiar voice at the door. “Hey Mr. Munson, long time no see!” you breathe.

Fuckk… when did Vi’s dad get so... hot?... what the hell is wrong with you today? First your sociology professor and now your best friends DAD?!

He grins widely at you just like his daughter, he shrugs out of his boots and walks into the living room.

“I got you a cheeseburger on my way over, still like double meat and cheese on your burger?” you question.

Mr. Munson puts a hand over his heart and falls into the love seat next to the tv.

“You remembered, I’m touched sweetheart.” he beamed.

“oh yeah no problem at all!” you blush.

“Well I’ll let you guys catchup, don’t need me harshing the vibes, Vi’s been nonstop talking about you coming to Hawkins  a month!” he chattered

Out of the corner of your eye you see Violet roll her eyes at her father.

“Dad no one fucking says “harshing the vibes” anymore or at all, you’re aging yourself old man,” she chortles

Mr. Munson chuckles and puts his hands up in the air in surrender “Alright alright I’m leaving, if you guys need anything I’ll be in the garage. Thanks again for the burger Y/N!” he says kindly holding up the burger in one of his large tattooed hands.

You beam up at him happy to help, and this time you get a good look at your best friends dad. He’s aged so much better than you could ever imagine a man with Mr. Munsons lifestyle to ever age, the expression aged like fine wine captures it perfectly.

His brown hair still wild and curly as its always been but tied up into a low bun at the base of his neck. Only difference is the now visible little grey streaks that run through random curls. He has more laugh lines at the side of his mouth and the corners of his eyes. Still wearing his normal garb, black jeans with loads of rips, a band tee with a leather jacket. His chocolate brown eyes still full of mischief and debauchery. His nose ring ever present but you spy a few more additions to his tattoo collection, specifically a new neck tattoo and a few more on his hands.

Fuck his hands… wait you have to answer him. Answer him before it’s weird that you’ve been staring at him so long.. you’re really on a fucking roll today.

“It was my pleasure Mr. Munson really,” you gush.

He gives you a wink that goes straight to your core and vibrates in your bones and heads to the garage.

Violet didn’t seem to notice how flushed you were, eyes still on the screen, interjecting at random times when a scene looks to fake or when the blood splattering doesn’t look real enough.

After the movie the two of you head upstairs to Vi’s room, she wanted to show you her new additions to her every growing crystal collection and a few polaroid pictures of her and her partner.

“They literally make me feel like a princess I feel so lucky, for our 3 year anniversary they gave me these black tourmaline pentagram earrings, aren’t they so cute?!”

Your heart fills with warmth, Violet has always been loud and unique, you are so happy for her that she found someone who accepts her for who she is and loves her for it.

“That’s really sweet Vi, i'm so happy you have them, and that they treat you so well,” you grin.

“Thanks… what about you though? You’ve always been very singular… looking to change that any time soon? You deserve to be happy babe, even if it just means getting laid you deserve to get some. You’re a fucking catch dude” ,she compliments

“I mean you know I had a thing with Dylan for awhile before he got back with his girlfriend...” you murmur

“Oh COME ON, you know that’s not what I mean, not some assholes rebound!” she insists

“Vi I don’t have a line down the block like you used to have, you’ve got that whole hot sexy goth girl shit going on, I’m just me.” you babble and point to your gorgeous best friend

“What about Tom? You were with Tom for a long time what happened with him?” she asks obliviously.

“Fuckin cheated on me,” you sigh. Re-living your lack of romantic endeavors to your very not single best friend being up there in the top 10 most pathetic things to date.

“Oh fuck that guy, how fucking dare he!” she sneers while she tries to light the perfectly wrapped blunt in her hand.

“Shit I think my lighters dead, can you go ask my dad if he has an extra?”

You nod and head downstairs and search for the door that leads to the garage, finally you find the door you’re looking for and the image in front of you almost makes you audibly gasp.

Mr. Munson has a cigarette between his lips hes strumming along to some metal song that he’s humming the tune to, occasionally sucking in smoke and blowing out the side of his mouth. His head bobbing to the tune of the song completely in his own world. He’s beautiful.

You look at the way his fingers move to the beat and strum the strings on his guitar, mesmerized by how pretty they are. You can see all the calloses on his hands from all of the years of playing.

Your hand moves without thinking and knocks on the side of the garage door, getting Mr. Munsons attention.

“Oh shit, hey honey, ya need something?" He questions

“oh yeah sorry, Vi’s lighter ran out, and we were trying to light a blunt, you got an extra?” You ask.

Growing up, Mr. Munson had always been the more laid back between Violets two parents, letting her test the waters herself allowing more than the normal parent would. But as long as she was being safe and not doing any hard drugs he was mostly lenient with her. Not that it mattered much now that she’s grown.

“Uh yeah I probably got one around here somewhere, come pop a squat while I look.” he gestures to the chair beside him.

Your legs wobble while you move into the garage, it smelled so uniquely of him. His leather jacket draped over the back of his chair, smoke in the air, and metal music playing lowly in the background.

His space made you feel at home, the garage door was open so you could see the sun setting in the sky, and the metal music is weirdly comforting. You find yourself tapping your feet to the beat.

Eddie went to his truck looking for an extra lighter and your eyes wander to his guitar. You can tell he really cares about it, its clean, the strings look freshly changed, and recently polished.

“Oh yeah she’s a beaut isn’t she?" He observes proudly, leaning against his car with a new found lighter in hand.

“Yeah really pretty Mr. Munson,” you remark.

He smiles at you, “Here ya go, I don’t know how much juice is left in it.” He hands you the lighter, for the few seconds your hands connect you see how much bigger his hands are than yours, it almost makes you topple over in your chair.

“Thanks,” you reply. You grab the lighter with your hand and put it in your pocket and push out of the chair headed back into the house.

“Were you always this shy?” he asks inquisitively.

You turn around to face him confused by his question, you never really considered yourself shy, it just takes some time for you to come out of your shell.

“Shy?” you reply. fidgeting with a loose string on your sweatpants, your lips in a fine line.

“Yeah..you just seem.. shy or sad maybe, you doin okay?” he presses

You sigh hard trying to find the right words to explain the last few years and what would be appropriate to share with your best friends dad. “I’m fine really, just a long few days.” you share and smile to try and make it convincing.

He clicks his tongue and you know that he doesn’t believe you, your heart sinks. You never want to put your sadness or hurt onto anyone else, you’re a big girl and you can handle it on your own. You change the subject to the empty beer glass on the table in front of him, “Need another beer?” you ask

“Read my mind darlin, thanks,” he replies.

You head to the kitchen to grab him his beer and head back to the garage to bring it to him. When you get back he’s back at it strumming on his guitar in his own world, you wish for a second maybe you could just sit in his little world with him, it’s quiet and peaceful, no thinking required. You set the beer on the table and turn to head back upstairs.

“Hey Y/N, if you need anything or even just to talk I’m around, I know I’m not Violet, but if you need another friendly face, I’m here.” he smiles warmly at you.

Your heart melts, of course he’s the sweetest man in the whole world. “Thank you Mr. Munson that really means a lot,” you blush. Thankful to have one more person in this town on your side.

You close the door behind you and rush back upstairs hoping Violet doesn’t notice how long you’ve been gone. You hear voices and giggling on the other side of the door,

She’s on the phone with Quinn.

“She’s returned! Come here I want you to meet Quinn!” she exclaims. You breathe out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, no excuse necessary. Your friendship with Violet has always easier than breathing. You spend the rest of the night smoking weed and talking on the phone with her partner, glad to have the distraction from your recent interaction with her dad.

Did he really mean what he said? Or was he also just being nice? I guess he kind of has to be nice to me, being his daughters best friend. Plus he’s so out of my league, a man like him would never go for a girl like me, right?

Only time will tell.

No Pressure Tags!: (Just tagging some mutuals I thought might enjoy!) ** If you wanna be tagged in the next fic lemme know**

@untitled74745 @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @munsonology @lesservillain @tlclick73 @dukesmebby @cozyquinn @rowanswriting @succubusmunson @teddyeyeseddie @lofaewrites @chaoticmunsons @ryan-waddell11

[imagineredwood]

Daddy Yandere Chibs with A? Number 3?

I have a HUNGER for Daddy!!!

Summary: Chibs has honored your foolish wishes for a separation for the last month, but you still haven't come to your senses yet, so it's time for Daddy to bring you back home; by any means necessary.

Warnings: ...it's a yandere drabble 🧍🏻‍♀️ So stalking, manipulation, what could be perceived as emotional abuse because of the manipulation. As always, these are just for fun, not to be taken as a healthy or safe relationship. No means no and turning up at someone's work when they don't want you to or anywhere they're at for that matter is creepy af in real life!! Also daddy kink. I wrote it with somewhat of a big age gap in mind but it doesn't have to be read like that 💕

Also just as a reminder, since dark content isn’t for everyone, I don’t use the regular tag lists for these, only specific taglist for those who want to read the darker content. I wouldn’t want to expose someone that didn’t want to read it. So if you DO want to be tagged, let me know

"You shouldn't be here. This is my workplace. I don't have time for this."

Chibs didn't flinch as you rejected him, his stance relaxed as he leaned against the wall of your breakroom. He'd been dying to see you. He'd given you the space you had asked for, knowing that of course that wasn't what you truly wanted. But he'd given it to you anyway. You would see soon enough that being apart from him wasn't actually what you wanted at all. Yet it was going on a month now, and he had decided that enough was enough.

So he'd ridden over to your job to get you back and now here you were, acting as if you were simply too busy to speak to the man who had loved and protected you these last few years.

"Oh course ya do, Lass. You're on break. You've got,"

He made a show of looking down at his watch and calculating.

"Got 24 minutes left of break, I reckon."

You swallowed dryly, realizing that he did have a point. You took your break at the same time every day. You'd used that break to talk to him on the phone most days. Of course, he would remember. So you tried a different tactic.

"How did you even get in here? It's employees only back here."

The Son nodded, eyes warm as they regarded you, a hint of playful ridicule there as well.

"I've lived in this town a long while, love. Longer than you. All I had to do was ask."

He pulled off the wall then, standing at his full height, taking each slow step one at a time.

"Everyone knows me here. Knows us. All that yellin' about me being so controlling, yet you didn't tell your work to keep me out?"

You gulped as he stalked toward you, eyes on you every second.

"Didn't put me on some kinda list? Didn't tell them that if they saw me to call the cops? None of that?"

You stared at him as your heart pounded in your chest. He wouldn't hurt you; never. But you wouldn't put it past him to somehow manipulate you and the situation into ending with you giving him another chance. All if would take is the feeling of his hands, warm and loving as they caressed you, and your resolve would fall apart. And he knew as much.

You took one more step back and bumped against the wall, the giant silver fridge blocking you on one side, and Chibs arm coming up to block the other. You whimpered, willing yourself to be strong as the scent of leather, cologne, and cigarette smoke flooded your senses. It all smelled just exactly as you remembered and you ached for him, the stone you'd fortified around your heart beginning to crumble.

"Even with all the arguments and disagreements, you know you've always been safest with me. Safe, and at home. You've proven your point. It's time for you to come home with Daddy now, yeah?"

You hesitated for a moment before your head was nodding slowly of its own volition. The Son clicked his teeth and offered you a smile then, eyes trailing down your front. He brought a ringed finger up and traced down the valley of your breasts, eyes raking over you how a lion would a gazelle. His voice was low when he spoke again.

"Twenty minutes left."

"Huh?"

The sentence threw you off, your break no longer on your mind as you looked at him.

"You've got twenty minutes left before they start looking for you, so I've got time. You look delicious. I won't stop until I've tasted every bite."

Dark fiction taglist 

@whitetxilwxlf @kikijackson-blog @ben-c-group-therapy @ravennaortiz @mama-mischief

[daisyswift3]

KAYLORS I JUST DECIPHERED THE PR MESSAGES FROM PRESENT 🎁 ANON AND AM NOW VERY CERTAIN THEY’RE LEGIT TOO. So we started receiving these very interesting anon messages exactly 2 months before the release of TTPD (release was 4/19)

We were told to keep our eyes peeled for a present or gift we would be receiving and well we got it

There are P's and R's repeated in the messages. "The hint is in the words." P = PETER. R = ROBIN. Those songs are a gift to us kaylors. They're separated by just one song, the Bolter (which I'm 99% sure is related to the 8th 🎃 message bc Taylor almost drowns and a bolter is a coward which was the main point of the message); and Taylor mentions CPR in So Long, London which means they're all related. Bc Cassandra = Taylor, Peter = her second kid, Robin, = her first kid. They're related bc they're a family. I think it's possible those are the actual names of her two kids

"This is not the manuscript" i.e. the manuscript (closing track) is not the gift, it's the songs right before it! Robin is the 2nd to last song, Peter the 4th to last, and Cassandra the 5th to last. "It has been hidden well, look where the above may find you." They can be found in the track titles themselves. "Plausible deniability. Think of the one we continue to revisit"--K and T have plausible deniability since everyone thinks those are JK's kids. BUT "the volcano will soon rupture, whoever is to defame" which means that one day all the truth will come spilling out regardless of the defamation that will happen. "Restful, reticent, restraint. And PUBLISH!"--perhaps a tell-all memoir??

"The predecessor was the crumb" in other words peace "I'd give you my wild, give you a child" (see this post) was just a faint hint but now she's getting really close to revealing everything which is what the volcano 🌋 represents! THE DANDELIONS IN THE ROBIN LYRIC VID. Robin is the single dandelion floret (secret) she was so worried abt sending into someone else’s yard in the 7th 🎃 message (see this post). She was afraid that sending this song out into the world could expose the truth she’s worked so hard to protect before she’s ready but she did it anyway. “Once you blow a dandelion, you never get it back. It isn’t yours anymore.” “But the story isn’t mine anymore.” 🎃 mentions how the recipient of the dandelion would also blow and spread the florets which might mean kaylors would catch on and spread the secret. The 8th message also mentions a dandelion that the enemy has and spreads but I’m not yet sure who this person is—also this person could be the “recipient” and not kaylors but I’m not sure. And I’m not sure if this means they’d like us to kinda keep this to ourselves and not use Robin as a gotcha since it’s meant to be more of a seed planted for future use (no pun intended). But it definitely seems like they aren’t ready to reveal everything just yet

"As the neighbor holds the lamp to witness her Goodbye" = "Now you're in my backyard turned into good neighbors" and "But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light"

"Reach those lanterns a little bit higher for you shall receive a metaphor so dire"--a jack-o-lantern like pumpkin anon? These metaphorical messages will help us to understand K and T's entire complicated situation?

"When I cannot see words curling like rings of smoke round me"--"breath of fresh air through smoke rings." Haven't quite figured out what this part means yet but it reminds me of blowing smoke which means to deliberately confuse or deceive (lavender haze mv)

This is as far as I've gotten w decoding the messages. This all adds a lot of context to those 🎃 messages and makes them a little more clear. There’s definitely more clues in there we have yet to decipher so pls share your thoughts

[iraprince]

I love the entire concept of Cookie... the look, the fashion, the gender... Would you mind telling us a little more about him? I'm also intrigued about why she's named Cooking with Gorgeous!

HI i would LOVE to talk about george thank you so much. also this makes me realize i've never actually sat down and just made a post unabashedly infodumping at length abt an oc before and it seems silly that i haven't. i ask only for all dear readers to please temper their expectations for this post with the knowledge that i just smoked half a joint before sitting down to answer it. a small one. but still. anyway

FIRST OF ALL FOR THE UNACQUAINTED THIS IS COOKING WITH GORGEOUS, aka cookie or george for short. he uses he/him and she/her pronouns interchangeably!

hi sorry that's not cookie that's a horse in a bridal veil that i. found in my stuff while trying to scroll and find my cookie art. i just got distracted and had to show you. okay no for real here's cookie

he's the character i'm playing in a playtest campaign of the absolutely mesmerizing sapphicworld, an in-development ttrpg!!! and if i'm going to be talking about cookie i feel like i HAVE to say i think a huge amount of her charm and dazzle and charisma comes directly from the charm and dazzle and charisma of the setting i created her for. i know i am laying it on really thick right now but that is on purpose. i want, desperately and unashamedly, for this game to get really popular bc 1. it's genuinely that good. and it's not even DONE yet and 2. i want everyone to get into it so that everyone will make sapphicworld characters and then i'll get to see everyone's sapphicworld characters.

EDIT i'm scrolling back up here and adding a readmore bc this is already getting so long lol. you asked for "a little more" and apparently i have graciously decided this means "literally every fact about cookie that exists in my brain"

SO a lot of the info/tidbits i haven't shared about cookie are i guess gameplay-specific stuff... his title (which is like a class/playbook) is "The Noble Sweetheart," though in sapphicworld "nobility" no longer has anything to do with wealth or class, and is instead entirely about amassing a court purely via devotion/popularity; her subculture (which is like, Who You Hang Out With; drifters, goths, poets, debauchers, cowpokes, etc) is Babe; and her kind (which is like ancestries but in sapphicworld is really just like, a physical form, which u can change more or less at will) is Lunarthrope, which is basically a werewolf!! or more broadly a furry, since u always look like whatever were-animal you are 24/7. just MORE at night, tho i suppose i don't represent that aspect much in my cookie art... ANYWAY i am restraining myself from just sitting here and like. transcribing her entire character sheet. but basically what all this means is that cookie's role in the world (at least at the beginning of the campaign) is "Professionally — no, VOCATIONALLY Hot Person who everyone loves so so so so so so much." cookie really enjoys this role.

he's named cooking with gorgeous because he's an avid cook, and he wants to share that with you, and he's gorgeous!! though honestly the cooking hasn't ended up as important to his character as it was when i first came up with him, lol — but my initial concept was kind of like, what's the equivalent of a bouncy normie recipe blogger/lifestyle influencer but in the context of the lush horny trans deathless psychedelic universe of sapphicworld. and it's cooking with gorgeous, a doggirl dyke with big blue boobs (six of them!!) who is so devastatingly cute and darling that a bunch of people just kind of pledge their fealty to him for no real reason other than he feeds them. and is cute

also her name is def influenced by the fantastic names of many canon sapphicworld npcs! like, quick example list of some npc names off the top of my head: the booty commie, death cybernetic, princess eureka!, the culinary goof (whom cookie dislikes. btw.), pizza friday (whom cookie loves!!!)

cookie is very very determined, and she's ALMOST always very confident. even when she isn't feeling confident, she's still very good at forcing herself to keep putting one foot in front of the other — maybe just while screaming or crying or uncontrollably barking or at least very ardently complaining. he has a tendency to be spoiled and, like, tactless-via-obliviousness, so sometimes he can be grating to interact with, and he has a petty/vindictive streak; but in general he's an AGGRESSIVELY kind person and usually aims all his shrill, cheerful stubbornness directly toward the goal of refusing to accept anything but the best for everyone.

at the beginning of our campaign cookie has JUST received a brand new castle!!!! (chateau gorgeous.) which he doesn't actually "own" bc, remember, no wealth or class in sapphicworld, but he's the ENTHUSIASTIC new caretaker and is chomping at the bit to renovate it so ppl can live there and he can throw a bunch of magnificent parties and basically continue living exactly as he has been, But Even More Fabulous. obviously this is exactly when the main plot threat of the campaign shows up and spoils everything and compels cookie to go on his First Ever Adventure!!!!!! she HAS to save the world otherwise NOBODY will be able to go to the first big party at chateau gorgeous :((((

at this point to prevent myself from just like, giving you guys a play by play of the entire campaign so far i am going to just start listing every cookie fact i can think of as bullet points

🎀 he owns a magical sword in the shape of a giant microplane. it's called The Microplane. he pronounces this "mee-crow-plah-nay"

🎀 george desperately wants to resurrect The Dog-Lich, an entity that once ruled over all beasts from its palace on the moon but was murdered and torn to pieces in a cosmic war far in the past. her attitude towards this desire is 50% devoted lunar cultist, 50% parasocially obsessive twitter stan

🎀 this isn't really a cookie fact but going back to how his title is The Noble Sweetheart — just for a glimpse at party composition, his fellow party members' titles are The Intimate Scholar, The Tentacle Advocate, and The Tw*nk Controversial (the * is the canon spelling).

^ aforementioned tw*nk. its name is Mwah ("pronounced like the kiss you blow at someone you just fucked over"). mwah is played by @/squiddelyfather on twitter!

🎀 mwah and cookie used to be very, very tight, BEFORE mwah became the tw*nk controversial. now that it's so.... you know.... controversial, well. they're still very close, but it has gotten a little stilted and weird (and watching them slowly un-weird it together as the campaign goes on has been one of my fav roleplay experiences ever honestly)

🎀 cookie's other adventuremates, skarligge and delaryn, are both very indulgent towards him. delaryn acts the most grumpy/dismissive about it but is honestly sometimes the worst about spoiling cookie out of anyone in the party (skarligge's player is twt@/clown_dream and delaryn's is twt@/glaiveguisarme and hey while im at it our fantastic gm is the sapphicworld dev, twt@/ddemoneclipse. hi guys i hope u don't mind me chattering abt ur ocs here lol it's just hard to talk abt the best of cookie w/o bringing up everyone else's characters and roleplay also!!!)

🎀 cookie is very VERY sensitive and will burst into tears at the drop of a hat. the precursor to this is her eyes getting So So So Big And Wet And Round. one of my favorite bits to menace the other party members with is when something is not going cookie's way i will lean into my mic and say "cookie's eyes are getting so so so big. they're getting so big and wet and round and shiny. they're so so round and fucking big her eyes are like big wet black glass marbles" and this is like kryptonite to them. this is like getting hit with deadly radiation

🎀 oh speaking of fashion!!!! one of cookie's perks from being a Babe is that she can always change her look whenever she wants. she will ALWAYS have whatever outfit she needs and can quickchange instantly. wait this reminds me i have a bunch of seasonal holiday outfits sketched out and i don't think i've ever posted them here but it'll only let me put one more image in this post. well here have this one

🎀 okay well suddenly i have forgotten all other george facts so that's all for now!!! from now on i will try to just dump oc facts like this more often tho this is really fun. ty for getting me going lol!!!

[mj-iza-writer]

Tw: tongue removal, character suicide, suicidal suggestion, finger breaking.

*CRUNCH*

Whumpee squirmed as another finger was snapped by the tool.

"Please no more", Whumpee pleaded. Their hands having gone numb from the pain now.

"Answer my questions about your master, and this will stop", Whumper stood in front of them, "I'll return you to your normal life, and you'll get to heal and forget this ever happened."

"My master will find....me.... and kill me as a traitor", Whumpee struggled to breath.

"You were the one holding a gun to your head when my team found you", Whumper knelt in front of Whumpee, "in retrospect, you should be dead already."

"It would have been an honorable death. It's... what my master... requires", Whumpee gritted their teeth, "please just kill me."

"I can't do that, I need live bait. You need to be alive for that to work", Whumper grinned, "break another finger", they spoke to the person behind Whumpee.

"We've ran out of fingers", the person sounded apologetic.

"My, you must be in a lot of pain", Whumper winked at Whumpee.

A loud explosion took everyone by surprise.

Debris covered everyone as they took cover.

Whumpee peered through the dust and smoke.

"Master... I", Whumpee coughed.

"Save it, I'm here to kill you before you can say anything else", their Master walked toward them, knife in hand.

"I haven't said anything", Whumpee pleaded, "please believe me, I haven't said anything."

"You should already be dead. You chickened out and didn't follow my one request", their master frowned and lifted the knife toward them, "I have to make an example of you... stick out your tongue."

Tears ran down Whumpee's face as they followed their orders.

In one swift movement the tip of their tongue was severed away.

Whumpee screamed in pain.

"You're a cruel person. You request loyalty from your people to the point they must kill themself to get out of capture", Whumper came out of their cover from the explosion, "what are you, a samurai?"

"You stay out of this", Whumpee's master frowned at Whumper.

"They haven't said anything, they've quite literally been through shit and back to keep your secrets", Whumper looked at Whumpee, "at this point just take them and let them heal. No harm done, I kind of feel bad for them honestly. Being stuck with you and all."

Whumpee's master gave a harsh push to the chair Whumpee was tied to.

Whumpee screamed as the chair fell back. Their head slammed on the floor.

Succumbing to the pain, they watched as a battle ensued. The last thing they realized before their eyes closed.... 'who's hands are touching me?'

Whumpee squinted their eyes open.

"I-I'm not dead?", Whumpee whispered.

They tried to sit up, but found they were tied to a bed.

"What's happening?", Whumpee struggled.

"Oh good, you're awake", Whumpee jumped as someone came into the doorway.

Whumper stood near the entrance of the room. Their arm was in a sling. They definitely had been scuffed up by Whumpee's master.

"I'm not dead?", Whumpee frowned.

"Nope, not yet at least", Whumper came closer and sat down, "your master is insane."

"I know", Whumpee sighed, "are these bindings necessary."

"You tell me", Whumper frowned, "I wasn't sure what mood you'd wake up with, and I've had enough fighting people today. So I was saving my team the headache. How exactly did you get mixed up with them?"

"It was accidentally. They caught me at a bad time, and I.... I got mixed up with them", Whumpee felt a tear fall, "I didn't want this for my life. I was supposed to make something of my life. The way I promised my parents I would. I screwed up."

"It happens, sometimes our parents make us promise things that we can't keep. Things that don't exactly fit in where our lives do lead", Whumper looked at their arm in the sling, "if you promise not to cause me any issues, I'll call someone to unlock you. My arm is not in the best of shape right now to do it myself."

"I won't fight you, I don't have much to live for anyway. It's just a waiting game to see when you or my master will kill me", Whumpee sighed, "I won't do anything."

"Alrighty then", Whumper pulled out their phone, "no need to worry about your master. They ran off to hide and lick their wounds. My team is waiting for them to come out. They'll pay for what they did today."

Whumpee frowned.

"Plus I have a score to settle with them", Whumper smiled.

Someone came in and stood next to Whumper.

"Could you unlock them please? I do believe they won't fight us now", Whumper handed over a set of keys, "I don't honestly think they're in the best of shape to fight anyway, but I don't like taking chances."

Whumpee frowned as they sat up. They remembered their tongue and tried to look at it.

"Yeah, they took quite a bit off, but you should be okay", Whumper stood.

'Wait, what are you going to do with me?", Whumpee looked up at Whumper.

"Well that depends. What do you want me to do?", Whumper reached to adjust the blanket that covered Whumpee.

"May I pledge my loyalty to you?", Whumpee bowed their head to show reverence.

"I don't do that", Whumper frowned, "you are welcome to stay here for a while if you like. I'm sure that's your plan to stay alive. You want my protection, right?"

"You're not wrong, but you're not right either", Whumpee sighed.

"Explain", Whumper frowned.

"Master kept me on a tight leash, I guess through that I've learned to be loyal to a master", Whumpee looked down again, "yes your protection would be great, but all I know is to be loyal to a master. Mine wants me dead, and I'm sure I can be beneficial to you as well."

Whumper thought for a few moments.

"If I'm loyal to you, my original master has lost their loyal pet. I can answer your questions without being tied down by them", Whumpee smiled, "I can be your loyal pet. It seems that's what I'm good for."

"You drive a hard bargain, but how do you prove your loyalty to a new master, when you're about to out your old one?"

"I am no longer theirs", Whumpee lifted their hands, "look what I went through to protect them."

Whumper grinned, "you have a point."

Whumper turned to leave.

"Wait you're not answering me", Whumpee looked at them with a concerned expression.

"I'm not one to step into something quickly, I need to consider my options", Whumper walked toward the door, "maybe you should consider the same. You are so ready to throw yourself into another person's hand, you aren't even considering if I can be trusted with your life. Remember who broke those fingers."

A few days passed and Whumpee had regained enough strength to follow Whumper closely.

"Are you going to be like a little shadow all of the time?", Whumper complained, "is this what your previous master had you do?"

"Actually, yes Master, I was the decoy. If someone came after them, I'd take the hit while they got away", Whumpee looked around, "I wasn't kidding when I said I was their loyal pet, I was a guard dog for them."

"Don't call me your master, I haven't agreed to anything yet", Whumper frowned.

"You haven't exactly said no either", Whumpee mocked.

Whumper rolled their eyes.

Someone came into the doorway and stared at Whumper then at Whumpee.

"Yes, you must be new here. How can I help?", Whumper stood in greeting.

Whumpee ran toward the person.

The person revealed a hidden dagger. They raised it at Whumpee and prepared to defend themself.

Whumpee attacked first, they winced as they punched. Their fingers had been bandaged, but hadn't healed from being broken yet.

The person fell to the ground.

"Now who's more trusting?", Whumpee checked that the person was unconscious. They moved the person's head around to show a mark hidden behind the ear. Then, they revealed they had the same one.

"It's my old Master's mark, everyone who worked for them received this as their first display of loyalty", Whumpee turned to Whumper who had backed against the wall in shock, "I wonder if they were coming for me or for you."

"I guess we will find out", Whumper composed themself and walked toward them, "how did you know."

"Their body language. This isn't the first time I had to locate the hidden knife quickly", Whumpee frowned, "is this a bad time to mention I've been stabbed?"

"What?", Whumper watched as Whumpee tumbled over.

"I need some help in here. Why is no one helping?", Whumper called out into the hallway.

Several people came running.

Whumpee groaned as they woke up.

"Ow", they hissed and reached down to the stab wound.

"Don't touch it", someone gently slapped their hand away, "doc and nurse are already ticked to see you back. Let's not make them even angrier by touching their hard work."

"Force of habit", Whumpee sighed.

"Hmph", Whumper frowned, "spoken like someone who gets stabbed often."

"Where do you think the scars came from", Whumpee groaned as they sat up, "so who was the target? Did they wake up?"

"They woke up all right. While we were e busy with you, they slit their throat", Whumper leaned up closer to the bed, "fairly certain you were the target, and if they had time, I was next."

"Sounds about right", Whumpee winced.

"I guess I would be stupid to deny your request. You did just take a knife after all", Whumper sighed, "if you want to, you can become part of my team and pledge loyalty to me."

"I would like that a lot actually", Whumpee smiled, "it would be an honor to serve you."

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all. @villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath @porschethemermaid @monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz @bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13 @notpeppermint @cyborg0109 @idontreallyexistyet @thebejeweledwatercat @painfulplots @whumpbump @everythingsscary @skittles-the-whumpee @expressionless-fr @theforeverdyingperson @legendarydelusiongoatee

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for yelling at my mom because of incense?💭

( emoji so I can recognise my submission and this is a hella long post so be warned)

So I (16F) really hate smoke. And I mean beyond the regular hate, I mean like the moment I smell smoke I instantly become very, very angry. I'm not sure why exactly, I suspect it might be because I'm on the autism spectrum but I haven't been officially diagnosed so take this with a grain of salt. Also just to clarify, I have no lung issues which would cause me to be extra effected by smoke, it's almost entirely psychological.

My mom (50F) got into this whole spiritual circle stuff about a year ago and does meditation thingies. Involves a lot of rituals, crystals and incense. Not entirely sure the exact reason why but the important thing is this means she is lighting incense almost everyday. As a result, on most days the house smells like smoke. I have told her quite a few times to ventilate properly if she's going to use it but I feel like every time I enter the main room of the house it smells like smoke. However I can manage this by simply shutting my door to avoid getting a lungful of smoke. No, the thing that pisses me off are her "cleansing sessions." This is where she goes through the house waving an incense stick everywhere to "purify the bad spirits." This means I have absolutely nowhere in the house to escape from the smoke and often get forced outside to escape. I have tolerated these "cleansing sessions" a few times but on the most recent one, it happened to be raining extremely heavily. This meant that I was stuck. In a house FILLED with the smell of smoke.

I tried to keep myself calm for a while by ventilating the smoke from under a blanket but even then I could still smell it and it made me raging mad. So I then proceeded to stomp up to my mom and yelled at her. I said some very nasty things which I'm not proud of saying. They were very personal insults mostly pertaining to how her beliefs were bullshit and about her insecurities. We had a shouting match over it which ended in her telling me to go back to my room.

Why I think I could be the asshole here is because:

A. I could have more clearly stated beforehand that I wanted her to stop cleansing my room or at the very least she needs to turn the aircon on when she burns incense.

B. She didn't really deserve the things I said to her. She's a sensitive person and I know it probably deeply hurt her even if she didn't act like it in the moment.

C. I didn't mention it earlier but I have a brother (17M) who has athsma. He has never had any problem breathing or any complaints about my mom burning incense. If anyone would be affected by this the most it would be him and yet he doesn't care. So I feel like I just really overreacted.

Why I think I might not be the asshole here is because:

A. I have asked her before that she ventilate the house properly when she does her meditations and yet every time I can smell it. Sometimes she wont even open the windows so I have to do it myself.

B. She knows how much I dislike the smell of smoke. I have said multiple times how I hate it and every time I have smelt it in the house I've been very obviously annoyed. There was even once incident where our neighbours were having a bonfire and I literally could not sleep in my room because I could smell smoke and had to sleep on the couch. Every time she's done one of these "spiritual cleansings" I have also made it abundantly clear how much I hate this but she doesn't seem to care because it usually forces me outside.

C. As before mentioned, my brother has athsma. While it may not seem like it bothers him I don't know what the long term consequences may be for his lungs. And for my lungs too! Like, I'm not an expert but I don't think regularly breathing in smoke is very good for you. She argues it's "real natural smoke" so it's fine and I told her she should try breathing near a wildfire to see how she liked "real natural smoke."

Anyways, with all these facts considered, random strangers on the internet, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[hopelesslyromanticgay]

An Americano Please PT. 7

Word Count : about 2K

TW: Percy🤮, mental health, and descriptions of malnourishment (not ED related) and smoking(not done by anyone in first person)

Jenna's POV (finally)

Oh my god she kissed me. She actually kissed me!

I can't believe I've known her for two weeks and I'm already down this bad. 

The walk home from Y/N's apartment isn't a bad one, just a few blocks away, so when I get to my complex, Percy, my other costar is waiting for me in the lobby.

"So, how was your walk with that girl?" he asks, implying so much with his tone.

"Really nice," I smile, unable to hide my excitement.

"Cool, cool. Emma tells me you all went for pizza together?"

"Yeah, we would have invited you but you were filming."

"Maybe you can take me there some other time. Anyhow, tell me about the walk?"

"Well if you really want all the details..." I start.

"I do," he interjects.

"She and I kissed," I confess, a blush rising in my cheeks.

"Congratulations," he says, his tone coming off a little forced. It's been pretty clear from the beginning that he has some form of feelings for me, but I've made it clear I'm not interested in anything more than friendship.

"Well..." I say awkwardly, "I'm gonna go up to my apartment, get those few hours of sleep."

God that was so awkward.

...

My wake-up alarm blares, causing me to jolt awake. 4:30 already?

I rub the sleep from my eyes, slowly making my way out of bed and into the shower.

My driver comes to pick me up at 5:15, there's no time to visit Y/N for coffee today.

I'm in the makeup trailer by 5:30, getting my hair done as soon as I arrive.

"Morning Jenna," Joy smiles from across the trailer.

"Hello," I wave.

"Percy tells me you had a lot of fun last night," Georgie winks from a few chairs over, his gorgon headdress being carefully placed on his head.

"He told you that?" my jaw drops in disbelief. Georgie nods. Wow Percy, That's really none of your business to share.

And look who it is, Percy Hynes White walks into the trailer.

"What the fuck Percy!" I exclaim, "you told them I kissed Y/N?"

"Jenna, I need you to sit still so we can get your eyeliner right," the makeup artist tells me.

"Okay, give me one second."

"Yeah, I told him, so?" he rolls his eyes

"Percy, it's my right to say who I kiss. Not yours."

"Well last I checked I had the right to freedom of speech," he retorts.

"Look, I don't want to start a fight, Percy," I say, trying to be calm, "but you can't do that again."

"Okay, fine," he sighs exasperatedly, "I won't go around telling people about your stupid barista girlfriend." He dramatically exits, slamming the door behind him. What a diva.

"To be clear, guys, she's not my girlfriend," I clarify.

"Not yet anyway," Georgie winks.

"Don't get my hopes up."

Every day of the week my schedule piles up more and more.

I have cello in between shoots, fencing after work, and archery with Percy every few days. 

It's Saturday already and I haven't seen Y/N once! I hope she doesn't think I'm ghosting her.

I just got onto set and immediately I'm rushed into the costume trailer to get into my fencing gear. It's such an action heavy day and I already feel so light headed. I want to tell the director that I can't do it. I know it will just absolutely destroy me, but before I can get a word out, I'm practically pulled onto set.

My breakfast of a small fruit salad churns in my stomach. I can't so much as focus for twenty seconds as the stunt choreographer starts to debrief us on the scene.

I look over at Joy, the person I'm fighting in this scene, she seems to be taking everything in perfectly.

My head starts to ache with dizziness.

"Jenna, are you okay?" the AD asks.

Say it's fine. Like you always do. Be easy to work with.

"I- I think I n-need to sit down," I stutter quietly. My legs practically give away the second a chair is brought over to me.

The on set nurse is quick to bring me a glass of water which I drink gratefully.

"Are you feeling nauseated, Jenna?" she asks me.

"No, just a little lightheaded," I force a smile.

"You look a tad pale, did you have breakfast this morning?" she inquires.

"Yeah, I had a fruit salad."

"Is that what you have every day?" she asks.

"More or less," I answer truthfully.

"That's not nearly enough protein and nutrients for someone with a schedule like yours. Do you ever have eggs?"

"No, I'm a vegan," I explain.

"Oh right, well in that case you need to find a way to get more protein and iron or else it's only going to get worse," she tells me.

"O-okay," I say. God Jenna, you've really messed up this time.

"You should go home and get some rest, I'll get the producers to move your cello class to tomorrow."

"No!" I exclaim, "I need to do this!"

"Jenna, I can't let you do this today. You need to rest and recover."

"No, I need to be on set!" What kind of lead in a show DOESN'T show up to set when she needs to be there. What kind of person does this make me?

"Jenna, you need to rest. How about a compromise, you can do your cello lesson, but you need to go back to your apartment and get rest."

"Fine," I sigh, disappointed in myself.

"Do you have anyone who can take you home?" she asks, "all of our drivers are on break right now."

"No," I say half heartedly. I could ask Y/N, but I don't want to burden her. I don't want to burden anyone.

"Okay, let's get you to your trailer and you can lie down there for now." I nod cautiously. Standing up is worse than usual. Immediately, I can feel myself getting dizzy.

We walk back to my trailer, I find myself lying down on the couch. My head spins with worry What if production is delayed because of me?

I hear a knock on my trailer door, "Hey Jenna, it's me, Emma.

"Come in," I say happily. I love being around Emma. She's such a positive person.

"Joy says you're not feeling too good."

"Yeah, I guess," I say.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she sits down next to me, "you wanna talk?"

"It's just a lot," I confess, "all of these classes, and shoots, and work in general. It's just so much. And now I have to change what I'm eating because apparently I'm not getting enough nutrients!" Tears start to fall down my face.

"Hey, I've got you," she soothes me, stroking my hair, "it's gonna be okay."

It's about then that I slowly fall asleep.

Y/N's POV:

God, I hope I didn't fuck up with Jenna. The last time I was Tuesday night when we kissed. I haven't even gotten a text since.

I'm scared, what if she doesn't like me anymore?

"What's got you so upset? " Nessa asks between drags on her cigarette. I cough on the smoke coming from it.

"I just wish I could talk to Jenna," I admit.

"Man, just chill, it's normal to go a few days without talking to someone."

"Yeah, but normally if the last interaction was a kiss, it means that relationship is over," I point out.

"Just chill out, okay, acting's like, a hard job."

"Fine," I say, getting up, "I'm gonna drive home. See ya tomorrow."

The walk from the coffee shop to my car is less than two minutes. I only drove to work today because I was coming from Nessa's apartment and didn't want to leave my car there.

As soon as I get into the driver's seat, my phone starts to buzz with a call from a number I haven't seen before. Curious, I decide to pick up.

"Hello, is this Y/N?" the voice behind the phone asks.

"Yes, who is this?"

"Hi! This is Emma from Tuesday night, Jenna's not feeling well today, and I was wondering if you could drive her home from set?"

"Shit, is she okay?" I inquire. Fuck, I hope everything is alright!

"She'll be fine," Emma assures me, "can you drive her?"

"Sure, is she okay with that?"

"In all honesty, she's asleep right now and I found your number on a piece of paper on her counter."

"Isn't that an invasion of privacy?"

"Shut up, I was doing what I thought was right."

"Okay, fine, I'll come pick her up, but I don't want her to be surprised to see me."

"Deal." I hang up the phone. This day just got a lot more interesting.

I pull up to set about thirty minutes later to see Jenna and Emma waiting for me. I can see immediately what Emma meant by Jenna not feeling well.

There were heavy bags under her eyes, but the rest of her skin was so much paler than usual. I could see her twitching a bit, and it seemed like she was struggling to stay alert. Seeing her like this immediately replaces any resentment I may have had for her for avoiding me with pure concern.

"Hey there," I roll down the window to talk to them.

"Thank you so much for coming," Jenna says, smiling weakly.

"Here, let me help you into the car," I say gently, getting out to open the passenger seat door for her.

"I'll let you two be on your merry way then," Emma says cheerfully, "Feel better, Jenna." Leaving me and Jenna alone in the car together.

The silence between us is anything but comfortable. The radio went to static from low signal, and neither of us know what to say.

After a painfully awkward twenty five minutes, we pull up next to her apartment. 

"Can you help me up?" she asks, clearly a little embarrassed. I smile, and offer her a hand which she gratefully takes.

"Thank you so much, I don't know how I can repay you."

"Consider it a random act of kindness." She laughs a little.

The two of us walk to the elevator quietly, not really knowing what we could possibly say.

"So what's got you feeling so sick?" I ask curiously.

"Not getting enough protein, I guess."

"Oh that makes sense. Film sets probably don't have the best vegan options."

"On that, we can agree," she laughs weakly. The door flies open, revealing Jenna's apartment floor. I've never been in her place before.

"I'm right down the hall," she directs me.

I nod, and start walking with her.

She quickly disappears into her room to put on some more comfortable clothes, coming out in sweatpants and a white t-shirt.

"Here, let's get you some food," I say, bringing her a pb&j sandwich, "I know its not a gourmet meal or anything, but peanut butter's really good for you."

"Thank you so much," she smiles, "I don't deserve you."

"Hey, don't say that," I say. 

"But I don'ttt," she whines, "I don't talk to you for days after kissing you and yet you come to take care of me as soon as you hear I'm not doing too good!" 

"Jenna, please just eat your sandwich," I laugh, "we can talk about it when you're doing better."

She nods, "okay."

A few minutes later, she's done with the sandwich, and I can tell she's getting tired.

"Hey, do you wanna try to get some rest?" I suggest. She nods quietly.

I help her up from the couch, and guide her to her room.

She goes to the bed to lie down, pulling the covers over herself to stay warm

I turn to leave, my plan is to go home, but it's quickly thwarted.

"Can you stay?" she pleads, "I don't want to be alone."

"Sure," I smile, sitting down on the opposite side of the bed. She slowly repositions herself to be cuddled up to my side, laying her head in my lap.

"Good night, Y/N/N," she says softly.

"Good night," I smile, kissing her forehead. 

I can see her vibrantly blushing in the dim light of her room. She's just so insanely cute.

I run my fingers through her hair, trying to soothe her. It doesn't take long before she fully falls asleep.

The two of us are gonna have a lot to talk about when she wakes up.

[beescomet]

V E L O C I T Y || PART 1

A/N: WOOP WOOP, finally part 1 is DONE, I've been writing it for so long now lmao. Anyway, I, once again, ask everyone to go and thank @crackedpumpkin for giving me the courage to write this (and also go read their fics, it's literally a masterpiece like 💖). There might be errors as I haven't proof read this yet, so if you find anything lmk please !! Enjoy!! (Also it's 2 am here, and I got a lecture in the morning, so I'm genuinely warning yall, there might be some odd mistakes)

TAGLIST: N/A

The smoke hangs thick in the air, twisting and billowing like ghostly tendrils as it mingles with the sharp tang of burnt rubber and the pungent scent of gasoline. From the haze, You watch as the familiar wave of energy flows all around you and the people present. Gray mist, speckled with red, similar to the mist after a night of rain in your street, the red from the lights illuminating the road. You feel a smile threatening to form as you absorb this energy.

You nearly jump in surprise when a familiar voice speaks through the earpiece you're wearing—a reminder of why I'm here in the first place. "These damn kids and their cars," the voice says, frustration evident. "Can't tell a damn difference between a wrench and a screwdriver even if it slapped them on the face", You let out a breath of amusement from your nose at the complaints . You slowly turn the steering wheel, guiding the car to it's dedicated position for the race. "Behave now D, that's not why we're here. You got eyes on me?"

The atmosphere is electric, charged with anticipation and excitement, sending a shiver down your spine as you drive into the dimly lit space. Around you, the cavernous expanse is alive with activity. Sleek, customized vehicles gleam under the low lighting, their polished surfaces catching the colorful splashes of graffiti art that adorn the walls.

"You know I do, I even got the cameras set up on the track and possible escape routes."

The crowd buzzes with energy, a lively mix of spectators and racers moving in a chaotic dance. Mechanics hustle around, their tools clinking and clanking as they tinker with engines, striving for that perfect performance. Drivers, their faces set in determined expressions, huddle in small groups, discussing tactics and strategies in hushed tones. Onlookers lean against the walls, their eyes wide with anticipation, eagerly awaiting the start of the races.

You watch them all from the safety of your car, the music and shouts muffled by the glass. You recognise a few of the people around, your nerves now on edge. You start to speak, your voice lowered to a whisper, following the group with careful eyes. "They're here"

A crash sounds from the earpiece, followed by a string of curse words. "Wait really? Fuck, you really hit the nail on the head with that one. How many can you see? Ah wait never mind, I got eyes on 'em. Damn that's a lot of screens to look at-"

You tune him out, deciding to focus on the group ahead instead, counting the members. 1, 2, 3. An annoyed sigh escapes past your lip as you rest your head on the steering wheel, muttering a curse. "Three, I was counting on at least four to get enough cash.."

The sound of laughter grabs your attention, slowly lifting your head as your eyes narrow at the sound. "Well about that, you don't need to have more than one person against you in that race.."

You immediately grab your phone, looking at your bank account and checking the balance. You choke on air once you see the number, sitting up straight and nearly hitting your head on the car roof. "Daisuke what the hell did you do! This better not be Amelie's college funds or I swear-"

Another laugh, interrupts your rant, this one louder than the last, your eyes going to glare right at one of the camera's set in the location. "Relax, this isn't my kid's college fund.. it's some of my retirement money my wife and I saved up back when she was alive. It's no use to me right now, so I thought it would help."

You could feel your heart drop, the anger in your eyes quickly replaced by one of guilt. "Daisuke I ca-" You start, closing your mouth as he interrupts you once more. "Don't even try to send it back Y/N, you went through hell for Amelie and I, this is just how I'm saying thank you. Now focus, you need to kick ass and bring the winning money back home!"

A pained laugh leaves you because of his words, bringing your hand up to rub your nose as you sniff. You could feel the tears threatening to fall, but you gather yourself together before you start breaking down.

You step out of the car, reaching for the duffle bag next to you before you do, and start heading to the middle of the room.

Every sound, every sight, adds to the cacophony of excitement that fills the air, creating a palpable tension that crackles like electricity. It's a world unto itself, this underground car meet, where the rules are few and the stakes are high. You get caught up in the whirlwind of activity, feeling the pulse of adrenaline coursing through my veins. You can feel it, all of it —the energy, the anticipation—it's all here, waiting to be unleashed. Your eyes flicker to the metal bracelet on your wrist that had started beeping, a number flashing on it.

17%

A confident smile now on your face, the night is only just beginning. Oh how fun this is going to be.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

The duffle bag hits the table with a loud thud, silencing the group of people in the area as their attention shifts to you. But you keep your eyes on one man, the gray mist around him thicker than the others around him.

Kaji.

He tilts his head to the side, his smile growing once he sets his eyes on you as he adjusts his stance, leaning on the hood of his car. His grey eyes holds your E/C ones. He tilts his head back for a moment, chuckling. "Well then, look who we have here, the Red Devil has finally graced us with her presence. Come to race against me then?"

An annoyed huff leaves you, crossing your arms over your chest as you glare at the man, raising one brow. He stares back, grinning, a golden tooth glistening under the neon lights. You couldn't help but smile at the sight of the tooth, how can you not? You were the reason he had to get it done in the first place.

"I was planning to, unless you give me the money that I'm going to win anyway, would make this whole ordeal go so much faster" You state, shrugging your shoulders as you hear some people laugh. Kaji growls, standing up and going to the table standing between you two, opening the duffle bag and peering inside. He looks back at you, the scowl quickly replaced by his infamous grin. "That's a lot of money, are you confident you'll win?"

"That damn bastad, why I outta-"

You ignore Daisuke's words, keeping your attention on Kaji as he waves two fingers to the other two goons with him, they bring in three duffle bags, placing them next to the one placed earlier. You glance at them, unfolding your arms from over your chest and reaching to the duffle bags. You open the first and quickly check the cash placed inside to make sure none were fake, repeating the same process with the other bag.

You nod, stepping back as you watch someone (who you assumed would be this race's starter) shove the duffle bags into a locked box, placing the key on a chain around their neck. You turn around and begin heading back to your car, raising both hands as you yell over the crowd who began to gather around the both of you.

"Be at the track in 10, I got more important places to be at later, and I'd hate to be late because of you"

The bracelet beeps once more. Your focus shifts to it.

32%

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

"You sure you want to do this Y/N?"

You snap out of your thoughts once you hear Daisuke's voice from your earpiece, nodding your head for a moment and letting out an affirmative hum. You could hear the sigh from the ear piece, and you can just imagine him in your head shaking his head and rubbing his temple.

"Just stay safe out there would ya? God knows none of us needs anymore loss"

A grin forms on your face, a soft laugh as you nod once more. "You got it captain" You look ahead as the cars pull up next to yours, people starting to gather around the track and the screens mounted on the wal starts to broadcast the race.

Your heart hammers against your chest, causing your breath to come out staggering. This was it, the moment you and Daisuke have been planning for the past year. You close your eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before opening them again, your hands on the driving wheel as you stare right ahead.

You have to win.

Losing was not an option.

A quick glance to the metal bracelet on your wrist, checking the number.

45%

"Ready!"

The starter started counting down, the sound of engines rumbling, adding onto the excitement that filled the air. You could see the red specks in the mist growing, showing that what happens after would be utter and pure chaos. That was exactly what you needed.

"Set!"

Beside you, Kaji, revved his engine, glaring at you from his car. You roll your eyes, any other time you'd have given him the middle finger, but right now you needed to focus.

"Go!"

Kaji shot forward like a bullet, his car a sleek silhouette cutting through the darkness. The gleam of determination in his eyes was unmistakable, a silent promise of fierce competition to come. You weren't far behind, both your engines growling with power as you both jostled for the first position in the opening moments of the race.

Behind you, two other competitors fought tooth and nail for their place in the pack, their cars weaving and swerving in a frantic dance of speed and skill. The air crackled with tension as the four of you raced, Kaji at the lead, you second, and the kther twi battling it out for third.

You let out a curse, glancing at the rearview mirror as you watch the others separate from behind you. You look at the side-view mirrors, seeing them going to either side of you.

"Watch out, 3 o'clock. He's speeding up, seems like he's gonna try and crash into you."

"Gotcha"

You look to your right, and sure enough, hes speeding your way, eyes on your vehicle as he tries to have you crash into the other one on your left. His eyes meet yours, and you couldnt help the smile on your face as you move your hand, raising the middle finger to him. You see the anger in his eyes as he swerves to your direction, and you quickly hit the brakes, your car slowing down and creating space between you and him faster than he could react. You watch as he barely misses your car, a fleeting moment of eye contact before he crashes into the other car.

A laugh escapes your lips as your foot quickly went back to the gas pedal, your car revving back up to life and going to catch up with Kaji.

Two down, one to go.

"Holy FUCK-! Y/N are you okay?"

"Just perfect! Cant say the same for the other two though" You snicker, glancing at your rear-view mirror to look at the crash site, the two guys getting out of their busted cars and telling at each other. "What's the power at??" You ask, turning your attention back to the road ahead, taking a sharp right and finally Kaji's car is back into your line of sight.

"75% and counting, did you purposely make them crash to suck the energy?”

You didn't answer, so he took your silence as confirmation.

As you hurtled down the straightaway, the neon lights of the underground tunnel flashed by in a blur of color, casting strange shadows upon the sleek surfaces of the racing machines. The pounding of your heart echoed in your ears, a steady rhythm that drove you forward, pushing you to new heights of speed.

"Two laps left"

A curse leaves your lips, your eyes glancing at your bracelet as you watched the number slowly increases. The space between you and Kaji was so small, yet to you it was almost oceans apart. Your teeth grits together as you think, shaking your head after a moment.

"D, What's the nearest shortcut to the front?"

The man at the other end sighs, you can hear him move around from his desk and the sound of him pressing buttons on his keyboard. "Take a left in a minute, you'll be in the market area, after 5 minutes with the speed you're at take a right, you should be ahead of Kaji by then."

You nod, quickly turning the steering wheel as the sound of the tires skidding reaches your ears, you can imagine the confusion on Kaji's face as he watches you disappear from behind him, the thought making you laugh a bit as you continue to drive.

Daisuke was right, you found yourself driving near the marketplace, swerving left and right through trucks and wagons filled with food. You glance at the clock, 2 minutes before the turn.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

Kaji looks at the rear-view mirror slowing down as he sees you disappear. He looks around him, trying to find any signs you were going to appear but...nothing. He started laughing, pressing harder on the gas pedal, he could feel it, the sweet taste of victory, his victory against the infamous Red Devil.

The finish line was close, it was right there. He couldn't believe it, not only did he just guarantee a win, but he had won thousands from this race alone. He started cheering, hitting the car horn as people started to circle around the finish line.

But just then, he could see something coming out of an alleyway from the corner of his eyes, causing him to swerve as he saw the familiar grey car appear from the shadows. "What the fuck! Where did she come from!?"

You grin at him, giving him a quick salute as you turn the car, you had just stolen first place from him! You laugh, your head thrown back. Kaji never thought he could despise you more than he already did, but clearly he was wrong.

You glance at your bracelet, seeing the familiar number beeping, 100%. "Let's fucking go"

You look at your hands, watching as the energy mist you had been absorbing starts to leave you, your veins glowing gray and some sparks of red. The energy transfers from your arms to your car, you close your eyes, the familiar feeling of your element around you. Pure chaos.

You open your eyes, glancing at your reflection in the mirror, and sure enough, the familiar waves of energy come out of you like waves of an ocean during a storm, feeding more power to your car as it increases in speed.

This was one of the very few perks of being able to control the element of chaos. And arguably, your only favorite.

Cracks had started to form on the ground beneath the car, but it didnt matter, the finish line was right there. And with one final burst of power from you, your car reaches almost unnatural speed, finishing the final lap in a matter of seconds.

You drift your car, shutting your eyes tight as you press on the brakes to get it to stop before hitting the forming crowd, the sound of your wheels screeching against the road before it halts. There was a moment of silence, the only thing you can hear was your heartbeat. Then loud cheers erupt from around you, people running up to your car and shouting your title.

"Holy fucking shit we actually did it. WE WON! Y/N YOURE GETTING OUT OF HERE-"

You flinch at the screaming in your ear, your hand reaching up and muting the earpiece as your eyes looks for the man holding your prize money. You step out of the car, taking deep breaths as you try to ignore the hundreds of eyes on you.

You feel a hand on your shoulder and you jump in surprise, quickly turning and seeing who it was. You visibly relax, seeing the man carrying the three duffle bags and handing it to you.

"Good race there Red, I have to ask though, why did you take that shortcut? It could have cost you the race" He asks, watching you as you throw the duffle bags into the backseat. You shrug, glancing at him from the corner of your eyes.

"I got lucky... Now, if you'll excuse me, i need to be somewhere"

You get back into your car, the crowd parting as you quickly make your way out from the underground parking. You sit in your car in silence as you make your way back to Daisuke's location, every nerve in your body on edge. This was it. You were finally going to leave.

The mechanic shop wasn't that far, so you managed to get there in time. Quickly getting your car into the garage, Daisuke runs up and closes the garage entrance after you. "Holy fuck, we did it, for a second there I thought that was it!" Daisuke yells, running up to you and opening your car door. You step out, handing him your car keys then you grab the duffle bag, setting it on the nearest workbench.

"It's not over yet, I still need to sneak past Kaji's people and reach the city." You remind him, opening the bags as you started to count the money to be able to split them. "Did you get the other car ready? I can't leave with mine. It'll stand out" You ask, glancing at him for a moment before pausing and seeing a familiar set of keys in your face. Your eyes wide and you grin, quickly snatching the keys.

"Daisuke you did not-" The words leave your mouth faster than you can think things through, looking at the otherside of the garage and seeing the car you were meant to take. "You said it would take you months to fix it up!!"

You look at the car, a 1957 Cadillac series 62 painted navy blue. You walk around it, your fingers running over the smooth surface of the car. If it was possible to marry a car, you would have done so already. You pause, realising that he was actually giving you the cat, you look back at Daisuke and you see him smile at you. You move your hand, trying to hand back the keys. "I can't accept this, the money, the car-"

He raises his hand, and you close your mouth, your brows furrowed together in annoyance. He takes a few steps towards you and places his hand on your shoulder, giving you a small smile. "Y/N, you listen to what I say and listen well.."

"I want to give these to you. You've done so much for me and my daughter already, and you still continue to do so when you didn't have to in the first place.” You turn your face away from his gaze, biting the inside of your cheek as you fight away the tears threatening to spill. “Hey, hey look at me-" He gently grabs your chin, turning your face back to him, similar to what he would do with his daughter when he has something important to tell her.

"I'm so grateful for you, Amelie as well. You've come a long way to get to where you are now. Your father would have been proud of the person you became" He states carefully, pulling you into a tight embrace. You wrap your arms around him, burying your face into his shirt as you hold him tight.

"I'll come back for you, all of you, I promise"

He laughs, wrapping his arms around you and patting your hair in a calming manner. "I know you will kid, you're too kind for your own good" he muttered, his voice wavering. You both pull away from each other, looking at each other before you give him a sad smile.

"I'm serious, I'll come back and help you leave, then we'll open up a car repairs shop together and restore beauties like this one" You push, pointing at the cadillac nearby.

Daisuke laughs dryly, shaking his head for a moment before crossing his arms. "Alright alright, I trust you, now you better get going, you need to be out of this goddamn hell hole before sunrise, chop chop!" He urges you back to your new car, opening the door for you and you get in. "I already put your bags in the trunk, Amelie left you some snacks in a lunchbox, but i'm pretty sure it's some form of clay" You laugh at the comment, shaking your head as you think of the little brown haired girl you had grown to love.

"Thank you.. for everything" You state softly, looking at him with a soft smile. Daisuke smiles back, giving you a curt nod as he steps back, opening the garage door once more.

"Don't mention it kid, now go, I'll hide the other car later tonight" You nod, backing out of the garage and into the night, the Cadillac perfectly blending into the darkness of the town.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

A figure watches from afar, his hand going up to run over his beard. Wu watches as the young girl drives away, a heavy sigh leaving him as he turns to leave. He reaches up and runs his hands over his dragon, carefully mounting it as it soars up into the sky.

"She gets stronger everyday, I fear we may not have enough time to prepare”

[stellar-solar-flare]

Suuuuuper random, but I spent the day re-reading your Christmas fic— The Great Christmas Debacle and it’s such a fix for whenever I’m craving a good “idiots in love” trope. A delicious angst with a HEA that just scratched all the dopamine centers in my brain LOL anyways just reminded me how your fics got me back into loving Steve fics again and wanted to just share my appreciation for your work— you’re so good. Along with Arrhythmia but that’s another adoration post to talk about later so good.

Loving how your blog is coming together too! Beyond gassin’ you up ✨, I was curious about how our Century!Steve and Reader are doing?? I miss this power couple!! 🗡️👑

Hope you’re having a great day, lad~

Oh my goodness, this message is so wonderfully kind! Thank you for taking the time to tell me all this - I'm always super excited to hear that someone is rereading an old fic of mine. I'm glad that The Great Christmas Debacle (AO3) hit the right spot!

And it's beyond flattering to hear that my fics have gotten you back into Steve fics! That's among the best compliments I've ever gotten, so thank you.

It's been wonderful to be here on tumblr, and people have been so kind and welcoming to me! Thank you again for the lovely message. If you ever feel like sharing, I look forward to hearing your thoughts on Mission-Induced Arrhythmia (AO3), too.

As for the next For Centuries (AO3), I have the next chapter in the works, and it's quite a major one at that. Under the cut is a small sneak peek from Chapter 18, so MAJOR SPOILERS for the fic For Centuries if you aren't caught up (haven't read the CH 17). I hope you enjoy! Very much unedited still.

(My overall spoiler tag is 'spoilers to ssf fics', in case you want to block that, but any sneak peeks that are spoilery will be under a cut.)

You broke the eye contact between you and Archduke Rogers, because looking into the endless, deep blue that seemed to be lit from within much like the stained glass in the high hall had been certainly wasn’t helping you gather your rattled thoughts. You deliberately let your gaze unfocus so that you could focus on everything that was running through your head, to make some sense of it. A low, metallic sound drifted into your consciousness — Archduke Rogers sheathing his sword, and you more sensed than saw him sharpen next to you. Where did you go, my duchess? he had asked you. Where had you gone? It was as if your soul was only barely contained by the edges of your being, something rattling the cage inside and ready to grow until it would burst at the seams. Your mind was scattering into a million different directions, but in the end, every half-formed, haphazard thought found one destination. Soulmates. The word drummed in your head, echoing something you could not describe. You weren’t certain that even after the conversation you had had with him today, you were ready to call the Smith sentimental, but something about all this made you ask more questions you didn’t have an answer to. Slowly, you turned towards the bowl for the ritual, still resting on the small table. The very last embers were shining in the kindling underneath, and of course, you had heard of certain mages inhaling all kinds of smoke to gain insight from the gods, and yet, it seemed like too obvious an explanation to what you and Archduke Rogers had experienced in that other realm. The presence of the gods, the power of the goddess of fire flowing through you. If stars were fire, fire that made the world, fire into which all would once return to be made anew… Then what was the true nature of its goddess, and how could the love of someone so powerful to be so doomed, if the story of the northern king was true? “Those that love are the fiercest of them all,” you whispered. “What are the contents of a heart filled with love if not fire? What is this burning that consumes me if not a pyre; and it shall warm the forge in which I shall sharpen my sword.” “That is beautiful,” Archduke Rogers murmured, and only when he did, you realized you had spoken out loud. “Is it a prayer?” “It is from a play,” you replied, feeling the heat on your cheeks. “From a monologue of Prince Wulfric, who claims he shall slay the whole world if it tries to separate him from the woman he loves.” “A man after my own heart,” Archduke Rogers said, his mouth curling up into an one-sided smirk, and your heart lost its steady rhythm as you realized what he was alluding to.

[captainnait]

Go ahead, infodump about Bob from Headrush. No one is stopping you

3:11 pm, 5/20/2024

You will not believe how big of a smile I got when I first saw this ask 😭😭 Like I'm genuinely so happy to talk about him, thank you,,,

Anyway, you don't need to ask me twice 💥

(Yeah, a lot of rambling under the cut, hehe)

— One of my favorite canon facts about Bob is that he REALLY hates emoticons. He mentions it two times: one time in a question, where he refuses to read out loud the category name, that is just an emoticon, and instead just calls it "that. . . thing" or smth, and the other time is in the "Don't be afraid to express your emoticons" Headrush category, where he just straight up tells players to be cautious of people who use emoticons 😭

Either he had a terrible experience with someone who used emoticons. . . Or his old man brain just doesn't understand them. Or both idk.

— I don't know if it's just an Andy Poland thing or not (it's probably is, but still—), but I just really like the way he can change up his voices so quickly. My man can literally go from "uwu im so silly" type of voice to LITERALLY the most brutal and manliest voice imaginable in just a span of a few seconds, and I think that's INCREDIBLE.

If we talk about Bob specifically though, I really like how silly his voice sounds at the end of the round, when he says "bye-bye" or other similar to that lines. It just makes me giggle, okay,,

— I don't remember the full context behind this image and the question it is from, but. Yeah. Huh.

[For some reason Tumblr just doesn't let me put this image in, but it just a screenshot of the game with red words written on the screen, saying "Bob has a "thing" for Barney"]

It's also pretty funny, since a few rounds later I got another Barney question ("Even Purple Dinosaurs Have to Die... Someday"), and Bob didn't sound really amused by it lol

— There are a lot of lines in the game, where Bob jokes/admits that he feels pretty lonely and/or isolated, which is very interesting, considering that he doesn't seem as a very introverted person or someone who doesn't go outside much.

I don't have any specific speculations on why he is like that, but I think (headcanon, I guess) that it's something that he grow up feeling like and, perhaps, still haven't grown out of it.

— In "None of the Smoke & All of the Cancer", Bob says that he finds smoking to be "sexy". It isn't very clear whether if he meant it as a joke or not, so. Eh.

— A lot of people said it way before me, but. . . This man has major dog vibes. Like, I can't pin down specific things that make me think like that. It's— It's just the overall vibe I get from him lol

— I'm pretty sure I've seen someone already make a post about it (I'm not sure though), buuuut it's pretty fascinating to me how little sexual interest Bob shows in women (compare to other hosts in the series, at least) and how little he cares for "mushy" stuff in general, valuing friendship/platonic bonds a lot more.

This probably could stem from what type of game Headrush is, since it's aimed for a younger audience - teens, who probably don't really care about love in that young age. But yeah, just an interesting thing to thinking about while in a shower.

— His relationship with Old Man is pretty weird, because he both shows extreme violence and, yet, somehow, some type of respect towards him? Like, there are moments were he shouts, yells and doesn't mind kicking Old Man for his annoying shenanigans, maybe even having a way easier time with it than other hosts. But then there are a few rare moments, where he actually doesn't mind Old Man at all and would even listen to his stories with a genuine interest.

Of course it's not something completely new to the series, but it is also makes me fairly curious, since I feel like this is the game where we get to see a lot of Old Man's personality and how he influences those around him (in the case of this game (99% of it) - Bob lol)

. . . That's it, ig. For now, i feel satisfied)

I also would really like ranting about Milan and his weirdly homoerotic relationship with Bob, buuut I need to get all the TTwM clips first, so. Yeah. That'll have to wait 💥

[broke-bruce-wayne]

My Top 50 Albums of 2023

Finally got around to putting this together, the first time I've been able to have a list like this in...a long time. At least a decade. So, here we are. I tried to listen to a lot, but of course there will be things I wasn't able to get to. Let me know if you think something is missing, and I'll be sure to check it out, if I haven't already gotten to it. I tried to give a succinct blurb and a key track for each album too, to make it easier to check out.

Notes on my rankings: This is based on around 60% how much I personally liked the album, and 40% how objectively good I thought it was. Therefore there will definitely be things on here you won't see on other lists, and probably some albums that would be expected, that won't show up. Also, I only took into account albums specifically released in 2023, unlike lists from most publications (so no SZA album, which would've been top 10).

Anyway, here we go. Full list under the cut.

50. The Whaler - Home is Where: Starting off with a Midwest Emo album is so typical of me, but this one was good, if a little odd at times (not a bad thing). Key Track: Yes! Yes! A Thousand Times Yes!

49. Did You Know That There's a Tunnel under Ocean Blvd - Lana Del Rey: Good but not great, this one was just a bit too long and samey in the middle for me. Still a solid listen though. Key Track: A&W

48. Jaguar II - Victoria Monét: A pop tinged R&B album, full of good beats and solid lyricism, this one had its fair share of bangers on it. Key Track: Smoke

47. Voir Dire - Earl Sweatshirt & The Alchemist: Earl Sweatshirt is one of the best lyricists out there, and he continues on this collab album full of fun tracks. Key Track: The Caliphate

46. Guts - Olivia Rodrigo: I liked when this album really leaned into the punchier, pop-punk tinged tracks, but I felt that a few of the ballads on the back half were a bit lacking to rank it higher. Key Track: Bad Idea Right?

45. The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess - Chappell Roan: The flip side of the previous album, I really liked when this album had more room to breathe in the middle of the album, whereas the more over the top pop tracks were more hit or miss for me. Key Track: Casual

44. I Killed Your Dog - L'Rain: Modern day psychedelic rock, this was a good time, though my biggest complaint is I wish a lot of the songs were a bit longer. Key Track: Pet Rock

43. The Record - boygenius: A supergroup album that definitely sounded best when it really leaned into the fact that it was a supergroup album. Key Track: Not Strong Enough

42. Blondshell - Blondshell: These next two both fall in the genre of indie that is best described as 90s alt revival, and considering I like 90s music, I thought both these were good. Key Track: Sepsis

41. Lucky For You - Bully: I thought the highs on this one were a bit higher than the previous, and just a really good time throughout. Key Track: All I Do

40. No Joy - Spanish Love Songs: One of the albums I was most looking forward to this year, it met all my expectations while shifting genres into something I've seen lovingly described as Heartland Emo. Key Track: Clean-Up Crew

39. Time Ain't Accidental - Jess Williamson: This was a break up album that was less about the break up and more about moving past, a nice wrinkle for a country album. Key Track: Hunter

38. Life Under the Gun - Militarie Gun: This album has grown on me more than just about any other from my first listen. I didn't think it was that special on first listen, yet I kept finding myself going back to it. Key Track: Never Fucked Up Once

37. Fountain Baby - Amaarae: Just a really fun, summertime album. A really, really easy album to dance to. Key Track: Counterfeit

36. Model/Actriz - Dogsbody: This album sounded like if NIN made music even more specifically for gay clubs, a fascinating industrial listen. Key Track: Mosquito

35. Red Moon in Venus - Kali Uchis: A great, groovy modern R&B album with some high highs but also a few that tracks that were just fine. Key Track: I Wish You Roses

34. This is Why - Paramore: As someone who is admittedly not too big on their earlier work, I've enjoyed their shift into post-punk revival. This was a good time, especially the second half of the album. Key Track: This is Why

33. The Enduring Spirit - Tomb Mold: I did not expect to get into a death metal album as much as I did this one, but it was surprisingly melodic, and the guitar shreds throughout. Key Track: Fate's Tangled Thread

32. The Greater Wings - Julie Byrne: A soft, peaceful folk album, featuring minimal production that allows her vocals to truly shine through. Key Track: Lightning Comes Up From the Ground

31. The Window - Ratboys: Nothing groundbreaking, just really well put together, perfectly executed, and diverse sounding indie rock. Key Track: The Window

30. Oh Me Oh My - Lonnie Holley: Probably the most interesting album I listened to all year, this was an emotional whirlwind. Almost felt like listening to a history lecture set to music at times. Key Track: Mount Meigs

29. Why Would I Watch? - Hot Mulligan: This year I finally bought into the hype around this band. I probably listened to it more than just about most albums on this list. Perfect mix of pop-punk and midwest emo. Key Track: Shhhh! Golf Is On

28. Crying, Laughing, Waving, Smiling - Slaughter Beach, Dog: Music to sit outside in the summer evening, relax, and drink a beer to, all the makings of a great alt-country album. Key Track: Strange Weather

27. Madres - Sofia Kourtesis: House music isn't necessarily my genre, but I couldn't help dancing along with this one. A great time. Key Track: How Music Makes You Feel Better

26. But Here We Are - Foo Fighters: In my opinion, the best Foo Fighters album in about 25 years, as Dave Grohl worked through his grief through passionate songwriting. Key Track: Rest

25. Praise a Lord Who Chews but Which Does Not Consume - Yves Tumor: A psychedelic post punk album with cool guitar work and great vocals, all which form a winning combination. Key Track: God is a Circle

24. Erotic Probiotic 2 - Nourished by Time: A very catchy, albeit sort of odd, experimental R&B album, not quite sure how it worked, but it did. Key Track: Shed That Fear

23. Heaven Knows - PinkPantheress: I couldn't help but have a good time with this one, a great album to dance to, very fun. Key Track: True Romance

22. Why Does the Earth Give Us People to Love? - Kara Jackson: With beautiful vocals singing great, passionate songwriting, this was a fantastic folk album. Key Track: Why Does the Earth Give Us People to Love?

21. Let's Start Here - Lil Yacthy: The most surprising album of the year for me, a genre shift into a more psychedelic rock sound worked out amazingly well for him. Key Track: Reach The Sunshine.

20. Heaven is a Junkyard - Youth Lagoon: This was an extremely introspective indie pop album, following a major health scare for the artist, with the emotion shining through with every word. Key Track: Prizefighter

19. Scaring the Hoes - JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown: An experimental hip hop album from two guys full of tongue in cheek internet jokes and all kinds of random references, this one was a fun time. Key Track: Kingdom Hearts Key

18. Softscars - Yeule: A fun mixture of dream pop and electronica, the opening track is one of my absolute favorites of the year. Key Track: X W X

17. The Land is Inhospitable and So are We - Mitski: A beautiful, mellow, and emotional album (and my first introduction to her work, surprisingly). Key Track: My Love Mine All Mine

16. The Loveliest Time - Carly Rae Jepsen: I shouldn't be surprised that she managed to put an album of b-sides out that surpassed the previous album, and yet... Key Track: Psychedelic Switch

15. That! Feels Good! - Jessie Ware: Disco revival? Disco revival! This one is just a great time throughout, a ton of fun. Key Track: Free Yourself

14. Weathervanes - Jason Isbell: One of the best modern country songwriters has done it again, an easy listen even with the long run time. Key Track: Cast Iron Skillet

13. Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!? - McKinley Dixon: Beautiful jazz based production as well as very personal raps, this one reminded me quite a bit of some of the rap albums I loved growing up. Key Track: Run, Run, Run

12. After the Magic - Parannoul: A Korean shoegaze album with more than a hint of emo, as well as extremely captivating vocals. An extremely well layered album. Key Track: Arrival

11. Lahai - Sampha: Alt-R&B album with experimental, almost atomspheric production and very smooth vocals, a very crisp listen. Key Track: Suspended

10. Desire, I Want to Turn Into You - Caroline Polachek: I'll be the first to admit that outside of actually being in a club, pop music isn't necessarily my thing. But there was something about this album that was a lot of fun. The production here is outstanding, varying between traditional and experimental sounds, and her vocals are fantastic too. A really fun time. Key Track: Welcome to My Island

9. Zach Bryan - Zach Bryan: My highest ranking pure country album of the year, this one was just so well put together. Forgoing the modern country sound for a more slowed down production, it really let the strong vocals and genuine emotion shine through. Key Track: I Remember Everything

8. Enola Gay - Asia Menor: This was the debut album from this Chilean band, which got a lot of buzz online, but less so in traditional media outlets. Which is a shame because it is just a lot of fun musically. A solid mix of indie post-punk, with more than a fair share of math rock and emo/post-hardcore thrown in. One of my favorite listens of the year. Key Track: La Naturaleza

7. We Buy Diabetic Test Strips - Armand Hammer: The first of two billy woods related projects in my top 10, this one was such a fascinating listen. A rather experimental project, this mixed conscious raps over almost ambient beats. It took a second to get used to, but once you do, it really shines. Honestly, it probably shouldn't have worked as well as it did, but it really really did. A great time. Key Track: Y'all Can't Stand Right Here

6. My Back Was a Bridge for You to Cross - ANOHNI and the Johnsons: One of the last albums I listened to this year, this one was beautiful and heart wrenching and just fantastic. With a 60s soul sound mixed with modern flourishes, the instrumentals were great. They were soft when they needed to be but grandiose at all the right times, perfectly matching her emotionally heavy vocals. A fantastic listen. Key Track: Rest

5. Rat Saw God - Wednesday: Probably the album I debated the ranking on the most, as I've had it everywhere between 5 and 15, but I just kept coming back to it. The very intense vocals, the mixture between alt country and noise rock, and the fantastic guitar work throughout, all make this one of the highlights of the year for me. Key Track: Chosen to Deserve

4. Quaranta - Danny Brown: Danny Brown's second appearance on this list (two 2-timers in the top 5 too), this one was my favorite of the two releases he was involved in this year. He took a more low key (by his standards) approach to his usual delivery style on this one, and it allowed his words to have the added emphasis they needed. A great rap album. Key Track: Jenn's Terrific Vacation

3. Hellmode - Jeff Rosenstock: To those of you who know me well, you probably already know that this was my personal favorite album of the year. Jeff is the most innovative artist in the pop punk realm, and he managed to put together an album that was diverse and layered and better on every listen. Seeing him perform the whole thing in its entirety was the highlight of my music experiences this year. Key Track: 3 Summers

2. Maps - billy woods & Kenny Segal: The second of two billy woods appearances on this years list, this album was, in my opinion, both more easily accessible and technically better than the Armand Hammer release. Beautiful mixture of jazz and atmospheric beats with superb storytelling, just a great listen. Key Track: FaceTime

1. Javelin - Sufjan Stevens: As soon as I listened to this one, I was almost certain that it was going to be my album of the year, and nothing else I listened to after really made me question it. Truly a beautiful expression of love and grief and loss. No other choice in my opinion. Key Track: Shit Talk

[hiimtracher]

ch1 ep 2 a new mission and friend

After waking up hrom went to the ships deck passing Marceline and getting her to tag along. after reaching the captains cabin they saw he was not there so they assumed he was steering the ship. out of a sudden someone shouted "SHORE" and that was the que they needed to go back and pack up.

the ship parked in the docks of the newfound land and Marceline and hrom got off and headed to the porttown. when they were going throug it's streets they saw all the shops and smelled the salty odor of smoked fish. they went to the pickinic tabels and sat down. and then they saw a lost soul running and screaming for help Marceline and hrom pulled out thier staffs and the weather started to turn slowly, then the lost soul ran past them and they saw what they were running from.

a half troll, but he was just going after the person, he wasn't aggresive and looked worried, hrom pointed his staff at the troll and it stopped as if not sure what to do. hrom yelled althoug not agressivly "what's your name" and the troll responded with "Peter warnish" a tone of fear could be heard in his voice. they turned thier wepons away

Peter - oh thank god, i thought you would try to hurt me, please don't run i don't mean harm.

hrom - why were you chasing the guy?

Peter - i wanted food, i am hungry. ! .wait hold i don't mean to eat him i mean to eat something else.

hrom - you're hungry. well why aren't you at your village then? I heard that your kind makes settelments and lives like other people.

Peter - oh if it was that simple. You see, my village was attacked by merefolk. they were unusually aggresive towards us and they went on a rampage. i ran away and was trying to find a home somewhere safe, but, i guess, no one wanted me anywhere near thier home. Please be a kind soul and help me out.

hrom - … well, Marceline what do you say, we also haven't eaten yet and i am getting hungry too. we could share a meal together. i packed a two weeks fill for the trip here. and there's a campfire over there.

Marceline - i mean, sure. i could get some food myself

so the group sat down as hrom took out a pot of soup out of his backpack, it was one of the meals he had, and it was filled with soup, it was for more than one day for sure. He put it over the fire that was left over by a diffrent group. when the soup was done he handed everyone a bowl with a portion of it, and he packed the leftovers in the pot. they ate it with delight, and when everyone was done they started to chat.

Peter - that was delicious. thanks you two.

hrom - no problem, but i've got to ask. where will you go now, i don't know if the others will treat you as nicely

Marceline - i've got an idea! maybe you could join us! i mean we are just two people with tons to carry and we probably will have more. and you are a strong half troll that intimidates pretty much every other person that sees you and with that we were looking for more teammates that are form here. you would help us a ton!

Peter - really? i suppose i could join, but wouldn't i scare of potential friends and teammates?

hrom - if they are brave enough they will join in with you on our team, and that's the people we want anyway.

Peter - if that's the case i'll gladly join in. do you have anywhere to stay though you are new to these lands from what you said.

hrom - hmmm are there monster slaying guilds here we could join one and be a pretty good team

Marceline - from the map i read there is one in the outer parts of the town

and so the group got up and went to the place. getting a few looks at them wasn't anything they worried about and they got to the location in no time.

they joined in, filled the form about the party, mainly that they are still expanding it, and got thier first mission, they were ment to control the population of the moutain harpies. but before they could get there they got thier two rooms, one with two beds for Marceline and a potential new person, and one with two beds for hrom and Peter. they set to sleep and the nest day they will go harpy hunting

[slashingdisneypasta]

OK EVER SINCE YOU ANSWERED THE SAD SMARTY-POP EXCERPT, I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT DRAGON!TOON PATROL (and princess Poppy *cough*). Now that asks are open, I need to vent these thoughts.

I'm not entirely sure how they'd work in this AU. But all five of these dragons somehow found each other, and have decided its best to stay together. I can't decide if they hang around an abandoned, dilapidated castle or they've got a big cave in the mountains (maybe they could be the reason the castle was abandoned? 👀)

Smartass is the smallest dragon, but that only gives him more incentive to be as tough and viscious possible. It's how he can be the leader of these insane overgrown lizards.

Greasy is a sort of secondary leader, when for whatever reason Smartass isn't available to keep everyone in check. And even has been the mastermind behind some of their raids. One thing is for certain though; His tastes in the fairer sex go beyond scales (ladies? 👀)

Wheezy is the silent, scary one of the group with the best fire breather of them all. Dirty, kind of torn up, and smoke billowing from his mouth all times, this dragon's favorite places to terrorize/raid are tobacco farms (no cigarettes, but he can chew the stuff)

Psycho is the one who gets the most kicks out of striking fear in humans the most. While the others may be busy finding whatever goods that interest them in a village, Psycho can easily be found chasing the villagers.

Stupid, although the strongest and biggest, is the most easily swayed dragon out of them all. You could offer this big lug food, and he'll gladly take the bribe.

To keep with the gang theme, maybe these guys keep a few villages in line? If the people give them what they want, they'll be mostly left alone. (I'm not quite sure. I haven't though of much lore behind this AU 😅)

I'm not sure how Doom could come into play here. Maybe he could be a corrupt king that pays them to do his dirty work like in the Fairytale AU?

I don't have tid-bits for all the dragon boys, but here's one for Wheezy. I imagine that he can do some pretty neat tricks with his fire. Like blowing out certain shapes, or knowing how to control it where it won't burn you, but just leave a very hot tickle. Imagine him showing them off to you 👀

Alright, I wasn't sure if I should have included Poppy in this, but I feel obligated to share my thoughts XD Poppy is a princess who got married off to a prince who treats her coldly (Ben). When the dragons attacked her home, by some circumstance or another, she got taken (I'm not quite sure how yet. Maybe she was trying to be diplomatic and it all went wrong. Maybe it was Smartass just being cruel to the royals. Or maybe it was Greasy's idea because- you know why 🙄 or Psycho felt enamored with her). Either this can go in a classic Beauty and the Beast style, or a angsty/darker route.

Anyways, those are my thoughts! I hope dragon weasels bring you as much joy as they've been bringing me lately XD

DRAGONS!!

Sorry for the late reply, I am finished with Placement but I still have assignments to finish and get before... well, the end of today 😅 Its okay though, I only have 2 left. I am very very excited to hear about dragons!!

First of all- YES to the idea of them causing a castle to be abandoned!! I can only imagine the chaos, but its glorious. These 5 terrifying, mean dragons deciding this place is their new place, and they have some fun with the humans there for a while (By which i mean Psycho and Greasy had fun with them... ) ... but when they escaped, that was fine, now they have the place to themselves! XD

Ahhhh! I love them!! || Smartass being kind of feral?? Like, I bet he's bigger then a human but he's smaller then the other dragons so he's so vicious-- that would be terrifying. I love that! || Greasy... Greasy lemme just quickly remind you I am a Certified monster fucker- || WHEEZY! Okay he is definitely my favourite. I'm imagining gassy, fumy smoke just slipping and rolling uncontrollably outta the corners of his mouth at all times, so he looks monstrous and gross. And just, the fact that you mentioned he'll chew the tobacco!! (Cowboy!!) and also the tricks! XD Yesssss, that's so cool XDD || OF COURSE you are the gremlin dragon, Psycho, of course XD I love this, its so perfect for him. I kindof imagine him to be a more lithe, lizard-like dragon. Creepy to be around, freaky to look at. Genuinely makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. || Awwww Stupid!! He is my next favourite after Wheezy XDD I wanna feed him so bad!! I wanna make him my huge terrifying dragon friend XD I will take a leaf out of Mrs Bickermans book XD Not Sadie's... though- maybe if I could get Ben- XD

And yes!! Always include Poppy! When in doubt, include her ^^ You knowwww she's canon to me XD And ahhhh! I love all those ideas, I honestly dunno which I like more <3

[wraithsoutlaws]

Honestly I'd like to ask you about the thought behind all of Dagger's design cus it's so fuckin' sick and your art is sick (I'd buy an art book of Ur art) I'm like actually slightly ignoring the ask prompt thing u reblogged so I hope you don't mind but do Dagger's tattoos have any meaning? They're all very cool and I'm going to stop talking now before I ramble about how sick (positive) your art is

aaaaaAh omg i don't mind at all this made me so happy :') thank you so much i'm!! really flattered and happy you like 'em!! there is some meaning behind some of them, and some of them are just a little silly. i've also been in the process of actually trying to fully finalize them (they've sort of been ~up in the air~ for a long time/subject to change)

his most important tattoo is the heart/snake/dagger on his torso:

i've messed with the look of it a lot. originally the dagger went straight up his torso, but i think the angled placement works a little better. the right side is still a WIP, but it's probably more in line with what i want (partially because he's /also/ supposed to have a really big "M" shaped scar that covers his torso as well, and i think it looks really messy with all these elements running vertical on him which is why it hardly makes it into my art). ANYWAY, this one is meant to signify his self-transformation into the "Dagger" persona. the heart in the middle is representative of his humanity, or who he once was as a child. the snake is who he grew into and what generally harbors a lot of his self-hatred and guilt (which is sort of another post worth of Lore so I won't go there rn), and the knife represents who he makes himself, choosing to kill the other parts of who he is and severing himself from the past (including that humanity and guilt). It's his self-made rebirth, no longer beholden to the cycles and feelings of the person he used to be. the "unkillable" beneath the handle is a newer addition, but it's just edgelord enough that i know he'd have it. in a sense, he's killed himself already and now nobody else gets the pleasure of doing so.

now the rest of his tattoos are just kinda stupid and that's why i love them.

the "FVCK" tattoo on his left arm was the first one he got and he gave it to himself stick-n-poke style when he was 16.

the abomination on the right hasn't made it into artwork yet because i'm constantly changing my mind of where i want it. most likely it's on his left shoulder blade and it's pretty self-explanatory. the man loves cigarettes. he got this one in his late teens when he was riding with a group of smugglers between texas and mexico, drunk in front of a campfire, and of course, smoking. (it's worth mentioning that i haven't gotten tattoo mods for him, and though he keeps a big portion of the vanilla tattoos on the front, none of the back piece is canon for him.)

he has a rat king on his thigh (also self-explanatory), as well as cockroach's little rat prints running up the side of his leg.

the last Definite tattoo he has is a small scorpion on his back (as reference to the scorpion and the frog. dagger's in a constant cycle of self-destruction. he's both the scorpion and the frog).

[m4gg0ts-inmy-g0r3]

man idk what to do

tw, sh sewer slide and all the other stuff

I've only gotten worse, like I wanna end my shit soon. I was talking to my boyfriend last night and he told me that if i started smoking cigarettes or became an alcoholic he would leave me. I only ever smoke cigarettes as an alternative to cvtting if it gets really bad. smoking causes this sting in the back of your throat, but even that doesn't hit like it used to. Regardless, cigarettes haven't actually ever done anything for me aside from hurt a little when I wanna hurt a little.

And as for drinking, one night a few days ago i was horribly depressed and drank the rest of a wine bottle i had and got stonned, it felt great like i wasn't worried anymore. I thought hey maybe I can do this instead of killing myself. But no my boyfriend said he would leave me if i did that and if he left me it doesn't matter how drunk I get I'm Ending My Shit.

I tried telling him if i go back to therapy and I'm honest to the therapist I'll probably get sent to a ward. Bc if I'm feeling like this i don't think it matters if I've made an attempt yet. Pairing feelings like this with the fact that i self harm pretty atrociously is a one way ticket to the looney bin. But he told me he didn't think it would be a good idea because we wouldn't be able to talk for a while and that would be bad for both of us, and he's right too.

I feel like I'm running out of options. It's like my only choice I have is to end my life. I make everyone miserable anyway. People tell me that I make them happy and my life is important but I feel like the air I breath is being wasted on a dumb piece of shit who hurts everyone he loves, who freeloads off his parents, who locks himself out of his car bc he got drunk the second he parked his car in the driveway at 3 in the morning, who hates the body he lives in so much he'd rather die than live another day in a body that isn't his, who can't even do his job right! AND I WORK FAST FOOD!! I mean how stupid do I have to be to fuck up something like god damn fast food it's designed to be idiot proof but noo I'm fucking brain dead. Not to mention I can't tell my boyfriend how suicidal I truly am I can never lay that burden on anther human being. No one will ever talk me off the ledge, that is my burden to bare and mine alone. And I can't go to a psych ward I've heard those places are so horrible that I'll only get worse. There is no getting better for sick people like me. You kill yourself or you live your entire life wishing you had. And so far I wished I'd have had access to sharper tools when I tried at 15. I had the right idea but the dullest straight edge on the planet.

i just wanna get drunk and cvt myself, whats the point of anything