#anyway please read my heart is a chainsaw

[marypsue]

For a variety of reasons, I probably won't write this out in any more finished a form than this. But it's been living in my mind rent-free for a year or more, so I finally had to just bite the bullet and see what it wanted to be. So. Have a summary for a fic I'll never write.

...

Jennifer Daniels is dead.

Well. Presumed dead. She's been missing for seven years. The manhunt's been over for six. Nobody really believes that Jennifer could have survived the fire and flood that nearly wiped out the little town of Proofrock, Idaho. Or if they do, they're not saying anything.

So Jennifer Daniels is dead by the time Jade Loomis, homeless, penniless, and a little burn-scarred, ends up stranded, unable to scrape together enough for a bus ticket or hitch any more rides, halfway through Indiana.

While flipping through ancient microfiche in the library basement, trying to avoid the suffocating heat of summer, Jade starts to realise that maybe it's no coincidence that she's stuck here in Hawkins. The town seems placid (as Lake Placid) on the surface, but it's got a history as full of myth and murder as Proofrock. Or maybe even more. Local legend comes complete with killer chemical spills from secret government experiments, demon-haunted mass murderers with gruesome calling cards, and a mall-destroying disaster from the eighties straight out of Stephen King, that's still whispered about having secretly been some kind of Satanic ritual sacrifice.

If there was ever a place in Middle America where a slasher - another slasher - was going to rise from the dead, Hawkins is it. And Jade already has a couple of solid theories about just who it might be. She just has to study up on the lore, locate and train the final girl, and then disappear into the background like mysterious wandering mentors tend to do, before anybody starts asking too many questions.

But it's hard to pinpoint who's going to be the final girl, when you're a grown-ass adult and technically a wanted woman and so can't really get within five hundred feet of the local high school. And the more Jade digs, the more questions she unearths. People in Hawkins seem...almost unusually dedicated to making sure that the past stays in the past. And Jade can't be certain, but she's pretty sure she's being followed.

Maybe most concerning of all, though, she's starting to think the abandoned boathouse where she's been crashing might actually be haunted.

The visitations Jade's getting, along with the wall of silence from every resident over the age of forty and her own research, are starting to make her doubt everything she thinks she knows about the town's lore. And maybe more importantly, making her reconsider her theory about just who - or what - exactly is rising here in Hawkins. And why.

After all, what kind of name for a slasher even is Eddie?

[forzalando]

boo’d up

summary: a night out enjoying some haunted houses leads to a few surprises pairing: oscar piastri x f!reader (Y/N, use of she/her), implied pairings of alex x charles, rebecca x carlos, & carmen x george wc: 1.6k warnings: descriptions of a haunted house (including darkness, tight spaces, screaming), mentions of being afraid/panicking, cursing author's note: guys i had this idea (because this is based on a true story/real-life experience where i was Y/N in this exact scenario except it was not a hot guy/oscar piastri, it was a young woman and i scared the absolute shit out of her). so i took a lot of creative liberties here. anyway! this is completely un-edited and complete garbage but i couldn't get it out of my head and i haven't written in 12 years. i figured it was time. go crazy!

It was a cold October night; the wind whistling through half-barren trees caused a slight shiver to trickle down your body.  The sun had set on the drive to your destination – an old farm in the middle of nowhere, which your friends had pointed out multiple times was a recipe for disaster. You shamelessly pulled the upcoming birthday card to get them to agree to the weekend activity: a haunted house compound you’d read about online that had impeccable reviews – four different houses for $40 was a deal you couldn’t pass up.

A massive, dark, dilapidated house stood in front of you – your first haunted destination of the evening. Screams from inside pierced through the air and sent waves of uneasiness and excitement through you; you’d fallen prey to falsely advertised haunted houses in the past, so you hoped with all your might that these did not disappoint.

“I should’ve stayed home,” Carmen grumbled as she pouted behind you in line. “It’s freezing, dark, and I have a million things I could be working on.”

“Oh, come on, Carm,” you teased, lightly punching her arm. “You’re telling me this isn’t your ideal Saturday night?”

“It’s definitely mine,” Rebecca chirped. “I love Halloween – all the creepy crawlies, scary movies, witches, chainsaw-wielding psychopaths. And candy, can’t forget the candy.”

You laughed and looked around at your small group, your smile faltering a bit when your eyes landed on Alex. She’d wrapped herself up tightly in her sweater, and you could tell she was trying her hardest to put on a brave face, but you saw right through the façade.

“Alex, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” you urged. “I promise you, it’s absolutely ok.”

She shook her head quickly, linking her arm through yours. “I’ll be fine – it’s all fake, right? And I’ll just hold onto you the whole time; I’m still betting that you’re going to be the most scared out of all of us, even if you disagree.”

“Well, we’re about to find out,” you sang, pulling Alex forward to follow Rebecca and Carmen into the menacing-looking house.

Immediately upon entering, you were plunged into complete darkness. The hallways were just wide enough to walk through sideways – if you tried to walk straight, your shoulders scraped against the walls. People were incessantly banging on the walls beside you – screaming and shouting in your ears, your face, following you as you tried to shimmy as quickly as you could through the maze.

You could feel your heart rate kicking up, and each time someone banged on the wall and screamed near you, it began to beat even faster.

In the midst of your panic, you realized Alex’s hand was no longer in yours. You reached back blindly until you were gripping her sweater-clad forearm and started pulling, but surprisingly, pulling with very little movement.

“Alex, move faster,” you pleaded, growing more and more impatient, more panicked. It felt as if she was trying to keep you from running, trying to pull you back and keep you in that godforsaken house. Either the latter or she had suddenly gained a shit ton of muscle, preventing you from pulling her along with ease. “I’m scared, okay? You win, I’m terrified. Now, please try to keep up, I can’t see a goddamned thing.”

The horrors seemed endless – it was still pitch black, and the further you went into the house, the smaller the hallways became. As soon as you started to think you’d never get out and would be stuck in that nightmare forever, you saw streaks of moonlight ahead and burst through a black curtain into the cool, night air.

Gasping for a breath, you dropped Alex’s arm and started yelling as you spun to face her.

“Alex, what the hell – oh my god, you’re not Alex.”

Stood behind you, rubbing their wrist, was an impossibly attractive guy around your age with floppy brown hair and a look of concern on his face.

“You’ve got a hell of a grip,” he mumbled, a thick Australian accent hitting your ears. “Think you might have bruised me.”

You could hear Rebecca and Carmen snickering somewhere behind you, “Yeah, Y/N, you bruised him.”

It took everything in you, but you ignored your friends and focused your attention on the handsome stranger before you.

“I am so, so sorry; I thought you were my friend, and I was panicking just a bit, trying to get out of there as fast as I could. Plus, Alex was afraid before we even got in the house and – wait where is Alex?”

You started looking around frantically, convinced that you’d left your friend stranded in that abomination of a haunted house, only to hear her giggling and chatting with someone just a few feet away.

“It looks like Charles rescued your friend,” the handsome stranger shared. “Since you were too focused on ripping my arm out of my socket.”

“I said I was sorry – ” you started to say, but as you turned back towards him, you noticed a smirk of amusement on his face.

He put his hands in the air in surrender and laughed, “Hey, I’m just messing with you; no actual harm done. I’m Oscar, by the way.”

“Y/N,” you whispered back, feeling a sudden wave of shyness come over you now that the initial shock was wearing off. “And I really am sorry, I hope I didn’t freak you out too much.”

You froze as he stepped closer to you and lowered his voice. “Can you keep a secret?”

Nodding in response, you held your breath as he leaned in even closer to whisper in your ear. “That was absolutely terrifying and I’m glad I had you guiding me through.”

Heat rose up your neck as he pulled away slowly, a soft smile on his face and kind eyes to match.

“Well, I’d use the word guiding very lightly,” you laughed. “More like yanking or heaving, well, trying to. I could barely move you, and I was pulling with all my might. You must eat some serious amounts of spinach.”

“Spinach?”

“You know, Popeye? The sailor man? I’m strong to the finish, cause I eats me spinach?”

He shook his head and your cheeks heated in embarrassment – Popeye? Really?

Before you could die of humiliation and make one of the houses actually haunted, he bumped his shoulder against yours and laughed.

“Must be an American thing – I’m new here.”

“Well, maybe I can show you around,” you offered, bumping his shoulder right back. “I’ve been told I’m a great tour guide.”

“I’d like that very much. Maybe you can start by taking me through the rest of these houses? You can hold my hand – just in case you get scared again.”

He spoke with all the confidence in the world, but his cheeks and nose were flushed a gorgeous pink that you could see even in the moonlight.

You slipped your hand in his and turned your attention back to your friends, who were watching with wide eyes.

“Leave it to Y/N to accidentally almost kidnap a complete stranger in a pitch-black haunted house, and they turn out to be her dream guy,” Rebecca teased. “Looks like Alex found someone too – what did we do wrong, Carmen?”

Before Carmen could answer, two voices shouted from behind and caught everyone’s attention – two more devastatingly handsome men running towards your group.

“Hey, sorry we’re late, Carlos got us lost,” a British voice rang out.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Carmen and Rebecca smile giddily and high-five each other. Before walking over to the newcomers, they winked in your direction and whispered simultaneous “thank you’s”.

You winked back and squeezed Oscar’s hand a little tighter before leading everyone towards the next house.

“I think this next one is clown-themed,” someone mused from behind, causing you to stiffen.

“Clowns?” You whispered, your steps slowing to a near stop.

Alex giggled – “See, Y/N, I told you that you’d end up being the most scared! You should’ve listened to us when we tried to change your mind about coming!”

You turned your gaze towards Oscar, his eyes already on you and that adorable pink blush still prominent on his cheeks. “You know what, I’m actually really glad we came, even if I hate the dark, hate tight spaces, hate clowns, and will probably hate whatever else comes after that.”

“I’m glad you came too,” Oscar replied, adjusting his grip to link his fingers through yours. “And don’t worry, I’ll protect you from any clowns.”

“Mate, you’re terrified of clowns,” Charles ribbed. “You literally said on the way here that if there were any clown-themed houses, you would leave.”

“Gee, thanks, Charles, you could have just kept that to yourself for the sake of my pride.”

“We can protect each other,” you offered. “Or if it’s too much, we can grab some seriously overpriced snacks and wait for everyone else to go through the rest of the houses.”

“How about we face our fear but if either of us screams at any point in the house, you let me take you on a date?”

“I mean, we’re both afraid of clowns, it’s bound to happen,” you acknowledged.

He smiled at you; a heart-stopping, full-mouthed grin, and clarified, “Exactly.”

As soon as you stepped into the haunted house, only one foot each in the door before anything or anyone had even popped out, you both let out blood-curdling shrieks.

taglist: @scuderiahoney @lam-ila @nebarious @chocolatepoetryfun @maxlarens @coff33andb00ks @katsu28 @sof1shticated @viikysmile @scuderiarossa @littlegrapejuice @alexxavicry @priopp123 @wobblymug @ctrlyomomma @ladystardust05 @reiofsuns2001 @foreveralbon @anaviieiraaa

taglist post: here!! if you’d like to be added!

[issa-pheonyx]

Select Your Story💀

Began in: August 22, 2023

Updated in: August 29, 2024

ANY FOLLOWERS READING THIS PAY ATTENTION TO THIS LINK, THANK YOU: Under 18? Do not intrude...

Please, read FAQ {Must Read]👹 for more info on what specific content and tropes I mainly do before sending asks/requests. Anyways, back to your bookmarks where you left off. Besitos~💋

▌│█║▌║▌║ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ ║▌║▌║█│▌

Resident Evil

Headcanons:

Stupid Mutt [Yandere-sub!Leon X GN!Reader]🔪🌶️

Left Behind [Puppy!Abandoned!Leon X Pre-Owner!Reader]

Best Friends Forever [Yandere-bestie!Chris X GN!Reader]🔪

Cut Me Up [Yandere-sub!Krauser X GN!Reader]🔪🌶️

My Puppy Sugar Daddy [CEO-Leon X Fem!Reader]🌶️

Gentle Giant [Carlos X Reader]

Opposites Attract [RE2!Leon X Goth!Reader]🔪

Scenarios:

Roles Reversed [Umbrella!Leon X Agent!GN!Reader]

Super Soldier Down [Yandere!Piers Nivans X BSAA!GN!Reader]🔪

Bad Dog [Yandere-sub!Puppy!Leon X Fem!Reader]🔪🌶️

Break My Heart Again [Leon S. Kennedy X GN!Reader (ANGST)]

He Don't Bite [Yandere-sub!Puppy!Leon X Fem!Reader]🔪🌶️

Desperate To Please [Yandere-sub!Krauser X Fem!Agent!Reader!]🔪🌶️

Pick Me, Take Me [Yandere-sub!Plaga!Krauser&Leon X Fem!Agent!Reader]🔪🌶️

You're My Bitch Neow [CEO-sub!Leon X Fem!Reader]🌶️

Two Heads Are Better Than One [CEO-sub!Leon&Chris X Fem!Reader]🌶️

Imagines:

Rambles:

Re2 VS Re4 Leon [Soft and Stern Leon]

Devil May Cry

Headcanons:

Demon Dog [Yandere-sub!Dante X GN!Reader (DMC3)]🔪🌶️

In Denial, Not Scared [Yandere-sub!Vergil X GN!Reader (DMC5)]🔪🌶️

Scenarios:

Imagines:

Rambles:

Silent Hill

Headcanons:

Unforgivable Actions [Yandere!James X GN!Reader]🔪

Scenarios:

Imagines:

Rambles:

MW2 (COD)

Headcanons:

Scenarios:

Eat It Up [Yandere-sub!Konig X Fem!Soldier!Reader]🔪🌶️

Imagines:

Sit On It [Needy-sub!Konig X GN!Reader]🌶️

Rambles:

Spiderman ATSV

Headcanons:

Kitty Kat [Yandere-sub!Kitty!Miguel X Owner!Reader]🔪🌶️

Scenarios:

Stay Quiet For Once [Sub-Miguel X Fem!Reader]🌶️

Imagines:

Rambles:

Slashers

Headcanons:

The Neighbor Next Door [Yandere!Michael Myers X Childhood-neighbor!GN!Reader]🔪

Scenarios:

Imagines:

Rambles:

Mortal Kombat

Headcanons:

The Fun Uncle [Being Johnny's Niece]

Hollywood's Favorite [Uncle!Johnny Cage Intros]

Oh My Sweetheart [Smoke X Reader]

Scenarios:

Imagines:

Rambles:

Texas Chainsaw Massacre Game

Headcanons:

Bad Romance [Yandere!Johnny Sawyer X Fem!Reader]🔪🌶️

Scenarios:

Imagines:

Rambles:

Series

-Resident Evil

Yandere!Lord Dimitrescu&Sons X Fem!Reader🔪 [Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 Part 4]

▌│█║▌║▌║ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ L̳͈͉̅̊ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚v̸̵̝͙͆̈ͤę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ M̶̷̲̊ͥ͋͟ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ ║▌║▌║█│▌

A fair warning as I do take a lot of time to write drafts. Plus, with updating here due to my scheduled as stated in my FAQ page. When seeing the 🔪 next to the story it is yandere related, but when it doesn't it is NON-yandere related. Same applies with spicy ones that has a 🌶️ and highly advised minors to NOT intervene with my work as you will be blocked. No exceptions. Come back anytime, stranger~👹

[slasherfckr]

Did you think you could get away with writing something about our Tommy cheating and leave us hanging? WRONG! I demand humbly request an ending to somehow fix the hearts broken in the reading of the fanfic. Please, write about Thomas sparing reader and trying to make up for what he's done. Reader is obviously very hurt and won't trust Tommy for a long time, but appreciates that he at least has the decency to apologize and that he still chose them over that victim. Thank you ;;

PS: it's totally cool if you don't wanna! I'm just being a silly little idiot. If you feel like it should remain with an up-to-interpretation ending or just don't feel like it, then so be it! <3

You ask, you shall receive. Here's a follow up to the last Thomas fic.

-----------------------------------

Cheating!Thomas Hewitt x GN!Reader (pt.2)

You awaited the, hopefully, quick death Tommy and his chainsaw would bring you but it never came

You instead heard a heart stopping, blood curdling scream over the roar of the saw

You opened your eyes and looked over to Thomas cutting the victim down. Blood spraying all over you in the process

The sound of the chainsaw soon died out and you were left just staring up at your....you weren't even sure what to call Tommy anymore

You were so mad at him for betraying your trust in the most brutal way. But deep down, you still loved him. You just didn't think you could ever forgive him for what he's done

Thomas put down his saw and slowly turned to you, his eyes refusing to meet yours. He got down onto his knees and reached out for your hands

He held your hands in his for a minute before he raised his head up and looked at you

There was so much pain and sorrow in his eyes. Your heart broke at the sight. You wanted to hold him. To comfort him. But then you remembered why this was all happening

"Listen....Thomas....You cheated on me. You hurt me really bad. I....I just want to know. Why? Why did you do what you did?"

Thomas was about to sign you an answer but then Hoyt opened his mouth

"You two can fucking talk about that later. Right now, you need to go get a damn shower and Thomas needs to clean up his mess. Now get to it.'

You rolled your eyes at Hoyt but did as you were told anyways. You didn't have the energy to argue with the old fuck. Besides, maybe a nice cool shower would help straighten your mind out. So many thoughts were running around in your head, you couldn't think straight at the moment

--------------

You were up in the room finishing drying your hair with a towel when there was a knock on the door before it opened

Thomas came in and sat on the bed. Your heart was dreading what your next conversation would entail

You took a deep breath and grabbed his hand

"Thomas I want you to be completely honest with me. Did you have sex with that person because you don't love me anymore? Or because I can't give you everything you want in a relationship?"

Thomas' eyes went wide and he shook his head. You felt a little relieved that it wasn't your fault what has happened

"So....what happened?"

Thomas signed to you what happened

Apparently, they tried seducing him to try and escape. He told them he already had someone, they somehow convinced him that you would enjoy seeing him being so intimate with another person, that that was a common kink people had; to watch their SO bang another person. He immediately knew he fucked up when he saw your crying face down in the basement

You shook your head at Thomas. You felt bad he had been tricked so easily by a victim but on the other hand, he could have easily gotten you to double check

"They weren't wrong. That is a kink people have but it's not one of mine. This is why it's important to ask if you're unsure about something.... I'm sorry Thomas, I just can't forgive you...."

Before Thomas could react, you continued

"But that doesn't mean I don't love you still. I'm willing to give you another chance but you have to earn my trust again, which might take a very long time.....are you willing to work through this with me?"

You barely got the last word out before you were crushed by a bone crushing hug by Thomas. He quickly pulled away, nodding his head as he stroked one of your cheeks

You got up and gathered what little things you had in his room

"Well I'll be in the guest bedroom if you ever need me, Tommy."

You gave him a small smile before leaving the room

-----------------------------------

Ahhh sorry if it wasn't that good! Literally could not think of any other way on how/why Thomas would cheat honestly. Hence why the first fic was left so ambiguous. Hope this eased some heartbreaks the first one caused!

[lucyfrostblade]

🪢 A headcanon about their family, 📓 A headcanon about their hobbies, 👗 A headcanon about their clothes, 🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence (for both ivy and lucy please i love your takes)

headcanon ask game !!

Lucy:

🪢 A headcanon about their family

one of lucy's parents (i say she has two moms but that's unrelated to the current headcanon) was born in the mountains of chaos and moved to elmville with her own parents when she was an older teen, around 16 or 17. the official reasoning was that it was safer to raise a family in elmville and a desire to live a life less rooted in survival and more in living, but the real reason but that lucy's grandparents had gotten some vague communications from ruvina that some time in the coming decades that a frostblade would be needed in elmville.

📓 A headcanon about their hobbies

credit to @vortahoney for starting this conversation with the other day !! lucy reads sad girl books, be it weird sad girl or hot sad girl. an absolutely remarkable thing by hank green, severence by ling ma, our wives under the sea by julia armfield, my heart is a chainsaw by stephen graham jones, olga dies dreaming by xochitl gonzalez, gods of want by k-ming chang, bad cree by jessica johns, the secret lives of church ladies by deesha philyaw.

i think i said to spence that i don't think she would read horror or the weirder books yesterday but i have changed my mind. she doesn't read the goreriest stuff or even truly weird stuff, but she doesn't shy away from it either.

👗 A headcanon about their clothes

lucy dresses like it's winter every single day. every since she became a frost gensasi, it's been hard for her to stay warm. it doesn't exactly bother her, it's comfortable, but she misses it, you know? so she's always wearing sweaters even on the hottest summer day, trying to chase the warmth she remembers from early childhood.

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence (for both ivy and lucy please i love your takes)

she's depicted in the official art as having a morning star and i am a little bit obsessed with that. it implies either a strength that isn't necessarily evident in her character design, or that she's just carrying around a weapon that she can't really use. i lean more towards the former, and that she has a tendency to be more involved in combat than any of the other rat grinders are completely comfortable with. she'll always try and keep combat from breaking out but once it does she can wack people with her morning star and then cast healing word as a bonus action. it's fine guys, she promises. of course if someone gets badly hurt she'll focus on that but let my girl hit people in between. especially post-resurrection it's one of the only ways she feels comfortable expressing anger.

Ivy:

🪢 A headcanon about their family

ivy moved to elmville shortly before freshman year with her mom. her parents divorced during the last year of middle school. it was messy, and they absolutely had the worst fights right in front of ivy for most of her childhood. in the end, ivy was made to chose between staying in fallinel with her dad or moving to elmville with her mom, and she chose the latter. she sees her dad a couple times a year now, but her mom isn't much more present despite the fact that they live under the same roof.

📓 A headcanon about their hobbies & 👗 A headcanon about their clothes

archery itself could be considered a hobby, i don't know if you have any experience with it. personally i am pretty shit at it but i am getting back into it anyway. back to ivy though, i imagine it started out as a hobby before it became who she was. summers spent shooting at targets instead of playing with the other kids, and after school time was spent more on practice than her homework.

i imagine that once she starts aguefort she's similarly intense about it but picks up an actual hobby or two now that she has time in school to be intense about it. something tactile, maybe knitting or crochet? i lean knitting for ivy bc it's simpler and more practical but she could still use it to make crop tops and tank tops. i think she'd have fun with it. and she makes oisin count her rounds for her. it's hard, okay?

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence

ivy's an archer which creates a certain distance from the violence she enacts. the first thing she kills is a deer while on a hunting trip with her parents. for a while it's just game, then when she starts aguefort it's rats and monsters. even in battle against other people (against lucy) it's easy enough for her to keep her distance from the reality of violence against another person. she didn't touch lucy when they killed her, just stood by the treeline and aimed. the distance doesn't help with the guilt, doesn't stop the nightmares.

[plangentlyre]

May we please get part two of your amazing story since oh my God I loved how you expressed the characters and wrote it!! <33

Of course!!! Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate it 🥺 (I accidentally made this one a bit longer and sorry for taking so long!!)

Part 1

The regret comes crashing a mere minute after Jessica leaves Jennifer and as soon as she stops herself, she finds that the surroundings have changed from tinkling shop doors to the familiar labyrinths of forest trees.

Has she truly run this far or has her mind finally fallen into illusion? She looks at her hands, still human and whole and yet when she looks below, her hooves have morphed into feet. Where there was a deer below her stomach, a tangled blue skirt replaces it instead.

It is only until she is beckoned by the voice of a vendor that Jessica realizes the concrete ground and the benches scattered around her. A woman walks in leisure with her dog, children shriek in their squeaking swing sets and a wrinkled, old man calls to her with a cart full of flowers.

"No beautiful girl deserves to frown," he says, "why not buy this daffodil, dear? It is said that these fellows are the attaining of happiness, the symbol for love and hope."

Dear, Jennifer always calls her that. After what happened back there in the shop, would she still call her that?

Jessica says nothing, it isn't that she simply does not want to but rather, it isn't something she can do. Instead, a sob wracks over her body as she covers her face.

"Oh dear," the vendor grieves for her sincerely. He takes the brown cap off his head and he gathers a couple of daffodils, some yellow and some white, before offering it to her. "The youth these days are all suffering. Most lose themselves so deeply that they can only swim further down. You may pay with money if you wish, but a smile is all I ask for. Will you do that for me, dear?"

Jessica tries, truly she does but it is only Jennifer's angered face that she sees, how she must surely look once she tells her to leave. But then a sudden weight falls on her head and a sweet scent wafts to her nose. The man's hand pets her gently, so akin to the way Jennifer cards her fingers through her hair as she lays on her lap.

It soothes her until the tears stop and she slumps her shoulder. Only then she is able to procure a wobbly smile at the old man.

She takes the flowers and with a worn but rested heart returns to the shop where she and Jennifer parted. Upon entering, all eyes are immediately on her alert. Her body has returned to its original form.

The intrusive lady from before, now with a purple bruise on her forehead, sneers at her distastefully when Jessica implores her about the bag that Jennifer wanted. "There is no way this precious handbag is going anywhere near some freakish arcanist. Unless of course, you can afford its original price."

Jessica is a word away from bursting the place with poison when a gloved hand swoops between them, holding a black card towards the lady. "I'll pay for her," comes the sardonic voice.

She lightens greatly upon the person's entrance, "Joshua!"

Horropedia grimaces. It has been his greatest pain for Jessica to discover his name. "Please, you can't keep calling me like that."

He gives the shopping bag to Jessica once he receives it. "Anyways, it's good that you're here, it would really mess up my schedule if you've lost yourself in the woods or something. Totally uncool."

"Oh," she bows her head sadly, "I'll apologize to Vertin for burdening her. She's already so busy, I don't like making her overwork."

"Uh-huh," Horropedia taps the side of his forehead with a raised brow. "Any other name that rings a bell? I'll have you know that a certain blondie has been clawing through the streets looking for a, well, deer girl to apologize. I had to physically stop her from murdering some innocent bystander with a chainsaw while looking for some movie tapes so I'd say you get to it and resolve whatever," he waves vaguely, "lover's quarrel you guys have."

"I see. Thank you, Joshua!"

"H-Hey! No calling other people's names like that unprompted, geez."

It's easy to locate Jennifer with her heightened senses and points her back to the park. What is not simple though is the amount of courage she musters before approaching her.

Jennifer heeds her no mind at first as she busies herself looking to the same forest trees Jessica has seen. And while she tries not to, she can hear the irritated mumbles of Horropedia's name along with a string of curses.

With shivering hands, she calls, "Jennifer..."

A loud gasp emits from the girl's throat and Jennifer startles at her appearance. "Jessica! Oh thank God you're here!" She runs to her and catches her in a tight hug. Jessica allows herself to relax upon the familiar scent of Jennifer's rose perfume and warm, soothing touch.

"Do you-" she chokes in her tears, "do you have any idea how much I've looked for you! I've been worried sick, I-I-"

"Don't cry, Jennifer." Jessica pushes her back then she pulls out the handbag from the shopping bag. "Look! I got you that handbag you wanted and a kind friend offered these flowers to me. He says that these will make you happy."

"You... You bought this for me?" She takes the bag in her hands, gaze wide.

"Of course! And, um," Jessica fidgets, "I don't like making Jennifer upset and I did something really bad. I'm sorry."

There is a pause that deafens them as she waits for Jennifer's response. Then suddenly, the bag drops to the ground. Jessica flinches at the sound of its impact and when she turns to look at Jennifer, the girl was looking at her with a conflicted stare.

"Jessica..." her jaw clenches, lips trembling as she speaks, "you didn't have to do that."

Jessica panics. "But-"

"No. Listen to me, I-I should be the one apologizing to you. I didn't really understand why you were so upset but after a... consultation, I know now." She takes a step near to Jessica and she holds her hands. "I'm sorry for ignoring your feelings. It was selfish of me to get mad at something so small. I would never want you to leave, ever."

A relieved, giddy laugh escapes her throat. A large smile tugs on her face. "You won't leave too, Jennifer?"

Jennifer sighs fondly as she shakes her tousled hair. "Bad news, dear, but you're stuck with me. Hope you don't mind my horrible personality."

Jessica giggles, "Jennifer's being ridiculous now. If not for you, I wouldn't be so happy. That's why, I love you, Jennifer."

She takes her hand and kisses it, "I love you too, Jessica."

[sewagedrowning]

Cults, apocalypse, and death - chainsawman theorycrafting

This I'd not a yoshida = death devil theory I promise

TOC

-Notes - Must read

-Organization? Thats kinda sus.

-Y2K is back in style!?

-Yoshida p1

-YO-SHI-DA?

-Death doesn't knock

-Contracts

-Yoshida p2, Fake saw edition

-Conclusion

Important notes :

- this was made BEFORE 121

-Im referring to death as they for this. Though I think they will be female for a few reasons that matter for the story.

-This theory has 2 split sections when it comes to the orginization mostly because the end point is the same either way. But it's still different.

-Also, apologies if this is messy. It's my first full meta, and its gathered by rants I had with my brother. And I lost the draft for this.. 2 times so.

A lot of this theory is riding off of this one ; please give it a read. By u/domilea

To summarize, though. All 4 horsemen desire a specific type of love. Conquest desires familial connection, War desires romantic love. Famine desires self-love, and death desires the love of humanity. These desires tie in directly to there powers, while they feed off of fears. They also feed off secondary emotions, being the ones santa listed as the only emotions a human needs.

Conquest - Worship, controls those below her. She desires familial love, something between equals, which by nature she couldn't have due to her need to be above.

×

War - Guilt, weaponizes this feeling by using objects or people. She desires Love, or romantic affection.

×

Famine - Admiration, Gives humans power without being paid for the contract, Wants to be able to love herself without external validation.

×

Death - Pity, Powers unknown, their our mantle piece for this post so we will get to them. Later

So this theory serves to answers a few things

-Yoshida : Who is he, what does he want, what does his organization want?

-Death : who are they, what do they want.

- fakesawman (impostor for short purposes) - who are they what do they want.

Yoshida

Yoshidas is a weird guy. In his return in part 2, he reintroduces himself, stating how he's a part of an organization tasked with protecting denjis identity. Also, he would be creepily stating he would use force if he needed to. Following that conversation, he seemingly stalks denji and tries to set him up with Asa to no avail.

In part 1 he also remarks on being a 3rd rate devil hunter although he's quirky corrected by kishibe as being overly humble. He also says being hit by quanxi later on would kill him. But this is seemingly untrue.

He comes off as dishonest at best and incredibly fake at worst. It's almost similar to makima but somehow even more mysterious.

And of course, the odd mention of death later in the aquarium.

I say odd because besides makima, yoru, and Kiga. Nobody has mentioned a primordial fear, let alone a horseman. We could just play this off as a weird coincidence, though. Besides that, mentioning chainsaw mans erasure ability is incredibly strange. He would have had to learn this from somewhere. It's not easily available information. But even then, I doubt he was told by kishibe despite being public safety. Sense kishibe is both MIA and not one to readily give up information. So where else did he get it?

Orginization

Like mentioned earlier. He brinng up this mystery group while on his date with denji. And that their not evil, quote the contrary, as they want denji to live a peaceful life. As such, keep his identity a secret. Which is odd sense they seemingly dont really connect. Even if denji revealed his identity to the world, what would that change? People after chainsawmans heart were able to hunt him down easily before. Knowing his name and face wouldn't change all that much beyond make his life more of a hassle. But why do they care?

I believe that the organization doesn't care. Not about denji specfically anyway. dont even think the organization is as big or organized as yoshidas claiming. To being able to slip under public safetys nose, especially makima's, is strange. If they were a segment of public safety or the government, Im unsure why they would stay hidden up to now. Especially as during international assasians, their goals would have aligned. That is assuming that this group wasnt formed between parts 1 and 2 which seems impossible as it's only been a few months at best.

So, I dont think this group actually seeks to help denji. Rather somethings in it for them. Denji revealing his identity would be actively harmful to them or whatever they seek to do.

So, what would denji's reveal cause beyond denjis hope for fame?

Route 1 . Or the simple one

The organization is run by kishibe and allies to prevent a makima esk situation from ever occurring again. Specfically the prevention of the apocalypse Denji revealing his identity would fuck this up as it would give and potential horsemen a path right to chainsawman.

Route 2. The complicated, long one.

It would demolish public fear for starters. Alot of chainsawmans current fear is backed on the worry's and fear of the what if's surrounding his identity. The rumors, the lies, the damage hes capable of. Learning hes some high school boy, makes him a whole less scary.

Theres 3 other reasons I think organization wants denjis identity secret

1.) Keep chainsawman in his current power strength for.. Something.

2.) the fear of chainsawman is fueling something else. Its not a reach to say devils in similar veins are fueled by the same general fear (bomb & nuclear bombs, Katana & knife, Spider & bug).

We know chainsawman was quite the icon in hell, having his own followers in hell. And seemingly now in the real world within the student council. Yoshida himself also refers to himself as a fan while talking to asa.

I believe this mystery orginization are also fans. Real followers of him, in the same way makima idolized him, and adored him to obsession. While makima wanted him for her own goals, I believe this group truly idolizes him. And like the followers from Hell and makima, they want to start the day of reckoning

What the fuck is the day of reckoning?

The apocalypse

The details of how to do this are murky. But from makimas attempt we can tell you need chainsawman, specfically his heart I assume and his angels. I think a third requirment exists though.

The precense of the apocalypse. Fuji has alreayd repedebly touched on the horsemen so its logical to assume at some point they will start the apocalypse. Especially sense our heroine of the part seeks to retrieve the nuclear war devil and wage a war.

For this day of reckoning It would make sense for a horsemen, or multiple to be present. The more the worse the apocalyptic event. Sense each horsemen simply represents a "factor" of the end. Which also makes me think them coming together is the apocalypse itself, or the trigger. Who knows.

That's brings reason 3.) For keeping denjis identity "secret" they want to use him as bait. Bait to draw the horsemen out and together. Making the hunt less difficult.

If we refrence the bible, as chainsawman has done on multiple occasions ; Before the Last Judgment, all will be resurrected. Those who were in purgatory will have already been purged, meaning they would have already been released into heaven, and so like those in heaven and hell will resurrect with their bodies.

So id assume doing this would, literally, open the door to hell and revive the devils from hell, causing a ammerganion, judgment day-esk situation

Ironically enough if we look at a timeline

(U/SkinFlower on reddit for the visual) part 2 is placed,, just in time for Y2K. A historic event I doubt fujimoto would look over. Meaning fear over the apocalypse. The end. *death* would be at a drastic increase only getting worse over time. Possibly making death at their strongest state. And, with 3/4 horsemen already on earth in close proximity. What would be a better time to start the apocalypse.

But I hear you. What kind of seemingly humans would want to start the apocalypse? Simple. A group that believes that doing so would be virtuous. Or benefit them and the rest of humanity. A doomsday cult-esk situation in which they believe doing so would 'assend' them or bring them to their God. Or I suppose in this situation their hero. And by relation death. I'll explain further, but first;

YO-SHI-DA?

It seems the popular theory at the moment is that yoshida is death. I initially agreed, sense this theory in particular has been in the works sense,, around the fight with yuko. But as I sat down to write it l down and time passed. I found it not adding up both from a meta perspective and in universe

1.)It wouldnt make sense motivation wise. Protecting denjis identity. Suggesting denji eating him. Keeping tabs on denji. Its confusing if he is death. What would he be gaining from it?

2.)His powers wouldn't make much sense. Octopi don't have any sort of connotations with death particularly. And so far powers have been sticking very closely to their theme.

3.) Makima not recognizing him and requesting him is weird. While this could go both ways (requesting because she knows he's death) I doubt it.

4.)The earrings is a lackadaisical argument. Majority of characters in CSM have some sort of earrings.

5.)"He looked at famine" This is one of the comments that holds more weight but I don't think he knows her because there siblings or something. Family didnt seem to know him either.

6.)Death has never died, Obviously. If they are indeed a primordial fear anyways. They would have to be in hell currently.

7.) It would be painfully obvious. Fuji's not always one for subtly but its almost so obvious I think its just a red herring.

Death Doesn't knock

I believe death and pochita use to be friends or allies of some sort. It would make sense. Death would benefit directly from the fear caused by pochitas chaos. And I guess at some point they had a falling out. To keep the religious themes going fuji seems fond of. think Lucifer & God's situation. Kicking off the battle between the horsemen and the hero of hell.

Its been a while but lets recall that death's emotion is pity(one of the only emotions a human can have, symbolized by a dead fox according to santa.) One from watching humanity suffer, A suffering that can only end in death And she depends on their suffering to live. What a conflicting dilema. And despite Their apparent rivarly. Imagine death's opinion on a being like themself who also cannot die yet still suffers? And despite this pity and love, empathy for humanity and others. death cannot be with humanity without harming them. She cannot comfort them. She can never express her love without fear. Instead their stuck watching this continous cycle of death and suffering around them. Especially in their own sisters. Atleast famine and Yoru considered them family(despite makima & yorus apparent grudge). Unlike death, Makima Yoru and Kiga CAN die and be on earth for who knoes how long, leaving death behind until they return and are killed in hell again. Over and over. Unable to help. Unable to do anything. Trapped in hell forever. That would drive anyone crazy don't you think?

If death wishes to end suffering, there would be a way for death to both end human suffering and their own lonely existence. Start the apocalypse, end humanitys suffering by killing them all, death included. And end the cycle once and for all.

Or forcing chainsawman to eat her and her sisters without killing humanity. Forcing them to be cursed with immortality. Both work. The reason I'm more hesitant on this option, however, is it's repetitve with makimas' original goal.

The method to do this would be to gather her sisters up, fight chainsawman, take his heart, And then start the apocalypse.

To do this, death used a proxy on earth. As far as we can tell, hell, the devil can go back and forth between hell and earth. And seemingly works with the darkness devil. So I don't see why death couldn't. The reason for them not going themself, of course, is poor timing. Similar to gun devil, death being on earth would be call for disaster. Which isnt quite the goal.

So, using a proxy death aimed to gather followers of chainsawman, if it's route 2. convicing them of the plan and how it would allow them to be with their "hero". (Or immortality. )And have them gather everything needed. Including; their sisters

Or if the group is akin to route 1. It's similar. Just them being more mislead then anything.

This plan, and them being the cults "leader" would explain yoshida making terms with death. But wait.. How are they even communicating with death if their still in hell? As seen with the hell devil, such is possible with a contract. So what contract?

Contracts and such

Enter the eldritch, chaos, unknown, or lovecraftian devil. Pick your poison. It doesn't matter really. Or what I believe to be yoshidas real contract.

Chainsawman is a very inherently lovecraftian story. something i want to write about later. But i think yoshida being contracted with the "eldritch" devil of sorts makes sense. Specfically one based on nyaelathotep, a devil worshipped by the orginization mentioned previously, or one that is captured.

Nya is described as so ;

tall swarthy man

Nyarlathotep as "evilly intelligent

nocturnal, tentacled, bat-winged monster

Nyarlathotep seems to serve these cults and take care of the deities' affairs in their absence

Aswell as a shapeshifter (depending on who is telling the story.)

Sound familair?

Within lovecrafts works Nyarlathotep serve the cults of the outergods take care of the deities' affairs in their absence. More or less serving as their messenger, or, a spy.

Beyond amusment or wanting to assist one of the horsemen as one of their "allies" (similar to wars weapons) Yoshida could have also contracted them via a ritual of sorts

Or them simplying liking him for one reason or another (which seems more likely by the way yoshisa uses them freely)

Basically being death's proxy would also make the "evidence" of him being death still make sense.

Yoshida part 2 : Imposter amongus

While preventing chainsawman from getting axed by one of our apocolyptic femne fatales I think yoshida has a secondary goal is to find the horsemen and keep a eye on them once they revealed themselves

Putting himself as our antagonist (for now.) A mirror of makima for asa. As hes directly in the way of asa and yorus goals. As I mentioned earlier though, I don't think he's actually an 'antagonist'. To yoru and asa? Maybe. Especially if we continue the theming of shadowing part 1 with its arcs (prolouge, bat, eternity).

But to denji, no. Even if the organization turns out as crazy as I expect. Like I said, I think he's morally gray. And I don't think he's being entirely dishonest, despite how apathetic and untrustworthy he tends to come off. And like apathetic morally gray anti-heros tend to be ; he is probably our fakesawman

Yea that came out of nowhere didnt it.

Referring back to the contract theory, hypothetically it should allow him to shapeshift and even if that's wrong. Octopus are famous for camo anyway. It would also explain why is arms are bleeding. Because hes simply mimicing. Its not actually his power. But why would he do this, Simple. Vigilante justice to keep the public (and devils) afraid and on their toes while giving denji down time. Especially if he's apart a group that believes they are upholding some sort of delusional "justice".

-It could also be that yuko was a active threat. To both denjis "peaceful life" and denjis identity.

-It could also be something against justice specfically. Beyond his own personal seemingly lack of morals (in part 1 claiming he didn't care about what happened as long as he was paid.) It could also be that justice stands in his and the organizations way. Causing chaos around the school in a possible attempt to lure out chainsawman. Which could hold more weight if they are indeed working with famine.

-It could also be to rile asa up. Get her to slip up as the war devil so he can confirm her identity. Or get her on his side of taking his heart.

Conclusion

I dont think yoshida is telling the truth fully. And think his story runs alot deeper than we think. Especially the orginization also dont think the theme of apocalypse, war, and csm timeline is a coincidence.

I really like part 2 and I can't wait to see how it progresses.

Death is a running trend in chainsawman obviously, In universe its everywhere. And theres a running theme on how people deal with death. How people grieve.

What they will do to forget,

run away,

Ignore it.

Maybe you can rehabilite the other horsemen like nayuta. But death can not be changed. And what is humanity without death? Its apart of life. Santa asked denji a question that stayed unawnsered. Can you imagine living with death constantly stalking you? Well, he kinda has. This makes confronting death a very interesting dilemma, and her a very interesting antagonist for him to face. Sense the only solution is directly facing them. And even then, I dont think their the final boss. Because sometimes, there are things that are scarier than death.

Or maybe I just need to listen to the song.

[damnhitsuzen]

New chapter!

Chapter 6: Dream

In which Kurogane is happy, Doumeki is shocked, Himawari is crying. Watanuki is fine, really. FINE.

Aaand I'm back with a new chapter! Nastiest cold and short writer block made me pause for a while, but I persevered. Kidding , I don't really believe in writer's block: everything I wrote was shit for some time until it stopped being shit. Hence the delay. Today I edited like crazy, still super hyped from incredible Oscar speech of Mstyslav Chernov, which by the way I recommend looking up if you haven't already. Historical speech with truly important message.

This chapter is so packed with parallels and allusions to itself, I almost drove myself mad remembering everything. Feeling like "everything is connected" guy, though I'm fully aware that nobody will read it that carefully. Humour me, tell me you've noticed, dear reader (even if you didn't, I'll never know. And yes, there is Star Wars reference here. Because I believe that clones(!)Li family share some similarities with Skywalkers. Mainly sand (a lot of it), mum being a princess, dad going all Texas chainsaw massacre at some point, and slightly disturbing incestual inclination of their son (not Watanuki, obv). Am I wrong? XD "Wicked game" was in the playlist from the very beginning, it's one of the songs that helped imagine the whole thing in the first place. And it's just a damn good, sad song.

For this chapter you'll need the Horitsuba Omake 2. Exciting Christmas cake. But as we move further with the plot, the less you'll need original Horitsuba content. We are moving into a very different direction, as you can probably see by now.

I remember every comment under this fic practically by heart. If you like it please, please leave a word or two. I'll finish the thing anyway, but you will make my day, my week, my month with your comment.

[chancellorxofxtrash]

Protective/Cooperative Polycule Moments

Or: I am extremely in denial about the Geats OT4, I am eating Crumbs here, let me live

I'm not gonna include every time one of them helped another one, but I'm trying to include stuff where more of them worked together

Of course I have to start with this. Who do you think I am. Because we stan a bisexual problem Ukiyo Ace

A brief look into Ep 8

Concerned for Keiwa, and yes, Michinaga, I SAW YOU START RUNNING

Next up Ep 12 My Beloved

I have a completely normal amount of feelings about how, while the last Michinaga had seen Keiwa, he wasn't a contestant, he falls easily into the old-new set of things. How him, the most untrusting bitch ever turns his back to Keiwa and Neon. He glances back, but as soon as he sees their backs also turned to him (the angriest bitchiest player ever), it's all focus up front. Immediately circling around the civilians, trusting the others to have their backs. Meanwhile Ace is giving his big speech about how they are here from their free will. Yes, I know this is their mission now, and if nothing else, they can trust each other to carry out the mission, but this is my post and I can read into things as much as I want. I told y'all I'm eating ot4 crumbs from the fucking floor.

Also I could screencap the entire fight afterwards where these three are concerned because I Am Very Hinged about how well they worked together. I mean - Keiwa blocking a Jyamato, Neon yeeting it up in the air from behind, Keiwa's shurikens hitting it in the air to slam it down, only for Michinaga to beat the shit out of it with TWO chainsaws? Fucking ICONIC. This coupled with the way Ace and Keiwa fought together in this episode as well could tell you everything about why am I so fucking Hinged about this episode.

I JUST LOVE BATTLE COUPLES AND BATTLE POLYCULES ARE EVEN BETTER OKAY LET ME LIVE

Anyway Ep 13, aka Heated Polycule Moment Of My Heart

I just LOVE the two newbies protecting the two veterans. I love how bitchy Michinaga is about it. I love how these four are having their Moment(tm) while Win is fighting for his life. I love everything about them.

And this was the last time the four of them were together, at least SOMEWHAT on the same team. Can I get an F in chat.

I refuse to screencap Ep 15 on account of it Breaking My Heart, but all three of them clearly being distressed about Michinaga's death... yeah.

Ep 17

Again I could screencap so much of this, of Keiwa's and Neon's plans to save Ace, and them fighting Girori together, and Ace's clear FONDNESS for the two of them, leave me here to Die

After this, the three of them had their Moments(tm), but the Amogus games got more complicated of course, and then them fighting together became the norm once the JGP kicked off, so I won't go through all the moments (even though it often ended up like... in pairs. Like Ace trusting Keiwa, Neon trusting Keiwa, working together in pairs, etc, so harder to list).

But. BUT. Ep 28. I gotta add this to the end of it

They attacc... they protecc... but most importantly...

Please take your half-plant angry bull boyfriend home thanks

[fvckroach]

i got tagged to do this by @threearmsally and @captain-habit

Currently Reading: Too many things, but I’m slowly working on it. We’ve got: what the hell did i just read / futuristic violence and fancy suits (jason pargin), where i end (sophie white), dracula (bram stoker), my heart is a chainsaw (stephen graham jones) and the last two volumes of trigun. However, my copy of family business (jonathan sims) just arrived so we’ll see what will happen next

Favorite Color: purples and reds?

Last Song: love will tear us apart - joy division

Spicy/Sweet/Savoury: savoury but then i need something sweet but then i need something savoury but then I need something sweet but then i need to break it up with something spicy but then i need-

Last Movie I Watched: tbh no damn clue but i watched a whole lot of theatre last week and I’m begging people in and around london to please go and watch retrograde at the kiln theatre and august in england at the bush theatre - i promise you won’t regret it

Currently Working On: i don’t think I’m doing anything actively enough for it to qualify as ‘currently working on’ unless staring at blank pages and writing down contextless paragraphs counts as working + i am trying to crochet a cardigan but we’ll see whether I’ll ever finish it

Anyway I’ll tag @pulledrounder @junokami @sashasparrow @sperma985 @void-star @kh3finalmix

[ted616]

Psychology in CSM: Denji's relationships and how they affect his character. Also a bit of how he affects them.

So. I was really bored and haven’t stopped thinking about CSM since finishing the manga more than a month ago. So here comes a big essay in well, what it says on the top. Just kinda letting my thoughts out about stuff and my interpretations. I think (!) I mostly understand everything well, but who knows.

Beware. This is LONG. a LOT of text is coming. a LOT.

First of all.

Denji is presented as a somewhat relatable, teenage MC. What this means is– Even if his life experiences are really specific, specially because of how absurd CSM is as a whole– His way of thinking and living is one that easily resonates with any teenage boy reading this manga. His kinda stupid, charming, genuinely kind-hearted and just wants people to love him. It is all throughout Part 1 that he tackles his own feelings and humanity, and learns from all the shit that happens to him. So let’s get a recap on all the people in his life and how each character affected him to become who he is in Part 2. (This is being written after the release of Chapter 120, so yeah).

The most important person to understand Denji’s psyche I believe is a character we do not know much about. No name, no design, almost nothing–

Denji’s Mother.

As it was said before, we know little about this character. The only data we have is that she died when Denji was still young (probably aroud 1 to 4 years old or so), and that it was from a heart disease he inherited and was “cured” of when Pochita fused with him.

Why is this character so important? Because it is her death that sets up one of the “pillars” of Denji’s personality and story.

Denji never had a mom, truly. Because she died when he was so young, he doesn’t hold memories of her. From a young age, he was robbed of a maternal figure and left with many men who made his life all the harder and shittier. It is the lack of a maternal figure that makes Denji initially fall in love with Makima, as he finally found the comfort and “love” of a mother in her, one he doesn’t fully understand; as he never once had it and only thought of women as people to please him until that very moment. That is why he seeks Makima’s affection, why he decides to join Public Safety and the hunt for the Gun Devil, because then Makima would do anything he wants! And because he loves her, that’d be perfect, right?

The lack of a Mother is what made Denji the perfect target for Makima, a young boy who had never really felt *love* and who had the Chainsaw Devil inside her. It is because he was robbed of that affection at such a young age that she could manufacture it for him and later on destroy it. Sure, if he actually had a caring mother everything would’ve probably gone a similar route! But it is because he didn’t have one that it was so easy for Makima to do. It’s grim, and fucked up! But everything in CSM is like that, and I think it’s really interesting to think and talk about.

Denji’s mom is truly an enigma of a character, and we don’t really know anything about her as a character. But I think that’s what makes the mysticism around Denji’s past so interesting and intriguing, and why I personally love to write/read about it in fanfiction. I really hope we see more of that past in the future, but at the same time feel like it’d be hard to do/and we really don’t *need* it to understand Denji’s character further.

Anyways. To the next asshole.

Denji’s father.

We don’t know much about his dad either, but we do know more about him than about Denji’s mom.

Denji’s dad was a drunk asshole, who had a multi million yen-worth debt with the yakuza for a reason. For what we know, he abused Denji physically and verbally, probably as a result of his mom’s early passing? And it was because of that abuse that Denji responded, defending himself and killing the man by his own hand.

It is here where Denji faces his first trauma. He runs away from the reality of him being his own father’s killer, taking advantage of the set-up made by the yakuza to fool himself into thinking of it as a suicide for what was most likely around a decade. It’s a fact that would break him if he ever remembered, and it’s one of the triggers that Makima pulls to awaken the Chainsaw Devil from him at the end of Part 1.

I see this event as the first in a series of different happenings that feed onto something– Denji’s guilt. In Part 2 we see a sadder, more tired Denji; who’s eyes look almost empty and who probably isn’t getting nearly enough sleep as he should. That can be for many reasons, and one of the reasons I believe is the sheer guilt he feels after the events of Part 1. Because he caused everyone around him to die, becuase he killed his own dad. He’s really different to the Denji from Part 1, because he has to face the reality he’s in; one where everyone he cared about has died, one where he sees himself as at least a partial reason for their deaths, and his father’s death is what “starts” this. His mom died of a heart virus, so that couldn’t be his fault– But he killed his dad. In self-defense, and we do know that the bastard deserved it– But he still killed a man. Not a fiend taking his best friend’s body, not Power being killed because he was controlled by Makima to open a door.

With his own hands, before even becoming a half-devil, when he was fully human, he killed a man. It doesn’t matter the reason, that weighs too heavily on anyone’s shoulders, and that’s why his subconscious hid away the memory for so long, and why Pochita tried to bury it further once he became one with Denji; because it would completely break him. And, as an audience, we know what happened when he finally remembered. 

And lastly, I won’t linger long on his relations with the yakuza, because most of what could be said is clear in the manga. For years, he was used and beaten around for a debt that wasn’t his, and finally he was betrayed by the same people that used him and “killed”. 

With these three examples a lot of stuff is clear, but one is most interesting to me.

Denji, in his 16 years he’s lived before the start of CSM, has never felt truly loved by a human. In his entire life, all the people around him have used and abused him, and the only who didn’t and who would’ve possibly loved him died when he was too young. Denji doesn’t have any real reasons to have any attachment to Humanity. The same humanity that wronged him, made him feel like shit, that starved him for weeks, that the best it would give him was stale bread and trash food– For all we know, without Makima in the picture he probably would’ve stayed by his own after the Zombie Devil fight and probably made himself an enemy of both Devils and Humans, possibly killing a bunch of the latter (especially if Public Safety tried going after him, something that surely would’ve happened).

Anyways. This goes directly to one of the most important characters in this manga.

Pochita.

We enter the field where I could make a specific post talking about each of these characters, so I’ll try not to make it too long and just talk about his relationship with Denji and all that. Sorry if it ends up being a slog.

Pochita meets Denji right after the death of his father, and makes it so Denji isn’t alone anymore. Pochita is widely different to everyone Denji’s ever met, as he indeed is, a Devil. Denji clearly didn’t know too much about devils at this point, and so seeing one like Pochita– A little dog, bleeding out in the open and whimpering in fear– He takes the initiative in helping the little mutt in exchange for help.

Via their contract, they become each other’s first ever friend. Pochita finally fills the hole within Denji’s heart, the one of a caring person who would listen to him and make him feel loved, even if he were a mere dog; while Denji finally fulfills Pochita’s dream of having a friend to hug him, something that was impossible for him until recently as we would later on learn.

Pochita is another reason for my point of Denji not caring about humanity. His only friend, ever, was a devil. The only one who listened to him, cared about him and made him feel loved, and gave him warmth in the cold nights in his shack, and who he shared every meal with– A devil. 

Finally, it is Pochita who makes one of the biggest sacrifices in the whole of Chainsaw Man. Pochita gives away his own free will, his life in a sense, for Denji’s sake. Pochita’s dream was already fulfilled, so now he merely desires to see Denji’s come to fruition, and experience those moments with him, even if Pochita isn’t really *there* anymore. Furthermore, even when the Chainsaw Devil is reawaken and Denji’s mind totally breaks, what Pochita tries to do is completely opposed to what one would think a devil like him would do. Totally opposed to what Makima would’ve expected, too.

Pochita tries to run, tries to do all of the things Denji dreamed about when they were still with each other physically, all the things Denji talked to him about. He tries to eat a burguer at a fast food place, tries to go on a date with the only girl Denji knew at the time, anything that would trigger Denji’s humanity and would bring him back.

Finally, Pochita trusts on someone else to Denji. After all his attempts are ruined, after Makima has them pinned down– Pochita locates the little bit of blood from Power, and “revives” her with that. Pochita trusts Power, because he knows Denji loves her like he loves Pochita, because he trusts that at least she could do what’s right to help their friend. And, finally, it is by Pochita’s trust on her, and Power’s own trust in Denji, that he can come back. 

Something to be noted is that Pochita isn’t *dead*. He lives within Denji, talks with him in dreams, and they even somehow interact within his mind. Pochita still actively cares for what’s best for Denji, and wishes him to do what’s best for others (Like in the case of Nayuta). Pochita is, to some extent, a figure that still helps Denji out in his journey, even though he can’t be there with him anymore.

I could really write a whole different essay on Pochita as a character, but that’s for some other day. Anyways, I’m gonna leave Makima for the end, so the next character’d be–

Aki.

Aki is the first actual instance that Denji has of someone, *a human*, caring for him. Aki cooked for Denji, gave him a roof, a bed, clothing, etc. Even if it was all somewhat fabricated by Makima, Aki and Denji learned to love each other like siblings nonetheless. They sadly didn’t have too much time together, but we, as an audience, know that the time they did have was the happiest one for the both of them. Denji had a family, a brother and a sister, who cared for him and who he cared for; who watched TV with him and enjoyed having him around. 

All the while, for the first time since he was a child, Aki gained a family. After all those years, he slowly stopped caring for revenge, and now only cared to make sure that those two’s lives were safe and sound, even after his inevitable death. It reached a point where he was willing to pull away from killing the Gun Devil, because he didn’t care about the mission anymore, or at least cared less about it than he did about Denji’s and Power’s wellbeings; because when he was faced with the possibility of them dying, he got scared. Afraid.

All in all, the Denji we’re seeing now in Part 2 is a lot like the Aki from Part 1. He’s keeping up a house with a devil and 8 animals, cooking, getting all the money he can get to sustain them all and pay for Nayuta’s tuiton, while having to take care of all the dogs around and such. I’d imagine that many of the things he has to do daily now would be impossible if not for the influence Aki had on his life, and the imprint he left as an actual (somewhat) responsible adult. 

And again, Aki’s death feeds into Denji's guilt and current mental state directly. Even if it was most likely a lie and impossible, he may still believe that he could’ve done something to prevent it. That he could’ve saved Aki, that he could’ve reciprocated all the love and care he gave them, but didn’t. This may enter the headcanon field a bit too much, but I do believe that we’ve seen him mention Power but not Aki for a reason– Because he had closure with Power. Because he promised to find the Blood Devil and turn it into Power again. Meanwhile, the last time he saw Aki was the day he left their home and came back as a fiend. Never did he have the chance to say goodbye, to make any promise to hold to, anything. Aki left their home, the Gun Fiend came back knocking and he had to kill it. He had to give in, to lose all belief that the Aki he knew was still there, because he had to. Even thinking about him probably damages Denji like nothing else, to think of the brother he lost, the one he killed. The one person he could’ve saved.

Anyways. Aki’s character is also a deep one that I’d love to talk about some other day, so let’s keep going.

Power.

I’ve seen many people interpreting Denji and Power’s dynamic as a romantic, and while I wouldn’t *judge* people over it, it does rub me the wrong way. Because many times it is established that they do not hold any romantic feelings for each other. They do find comfort in one another like they don’t with anyone else, but it is always claimed how Denji doesn’t feel any attraction towards her like he does with the likes of Makima or Reze.

Anyways. As it is said by Power herself, Denji is her first friend. The first human to care about her in any way, to help her out even after she wronged him, fooling him to be food for the Bat Devil. Even after that, he sticked with her, ultimately finding in Power the sister he never had, someone even more fucked up and dirty and asshole-y than himself, who hid away her care for others in her own pride; but clearly needed him and Aki to persist.

It was Denji who helped Power through her PTSD of the Darkness Devil fight, while Power was one of the people who stuck with him through everything, who *cared* about Denji.

It is with her sacrifice that we can see this to the fullest extent. At that point, most of the people around him cared about the Chainsaw Man, and the Chainsaw Man only.

Devils wanted him dead because he was the Chainsaw Man. Reze, for all Denji knew, just wanted to get the Chainsaw’s heart. Makima only cared about Chainsaw Man, and thought of Denji as a repulsive insult to the Chainsaw’s “legacy” or “mystique”, of sorts.

Power cared and believed in Denji. She believed in him, she knew he could defeat the Control Devil, and she knew he could continue his life forward. Without Aki, and maybe without Power herself; because she knew Denji. She knew Denji could withstand the worst of shits and come back from it, and she believed in him to find the Blood Devil and turn into “herself” again.

And with that comes another point that I raise. Maybe also a little bit too headcanon-y, but I want to get it out.

When Devils die and are reborn, they forget their previous lives entirely. That’s why Nayuta can be raised to be a better person than what Makima was, the whole nature vs. nurture thing. Why am I bringing it up?

When the Blood Devil comes back, it won’t be Power. If Denji gets the Blood Devil to befriend him, and he gets to tell her all about her past life, it may turn into something *like* Power. Dirty, egotistical, but caring and loving of her family. But the memories won’t be there. The experiences Denji, Aki and Power had together would still only survive in Denji’s mind.

The Blood Devil may be capable of being like Power, but it isn’t capable of *being* Power. And that’s alright, because I believe that’s what Power wanted when she made her contract with Denji.

Power knew she’d die, and she knew she wouldn’t remember her past life. I believe, and remember, this may be a little too headcanon-y, but I believe that Power doesn’t plan on “coming back”. Power planned for the Blood Devil to come to Earth and learn to love, learn to live happily with a family, just like she herself did. She wants Denji to have someone there for him, someone like Power, even though Power herself isn’t really *there*. She merely wants the new Blood Devil to have the chance to experience the beautiful life Power had with Denji and Aki, because as a fiend and devil herself, she knows how great it truly is. To have people caring about you, to share your meals with others, to sleep in the same bed with no true romantic intentions. To have a family.

Now, what do we get from all of this?

First, all of these people showed and taught many things to Denji.

Aki taught him that humans can be kind and caring out of their own heart, not expecting anything in return. Pochita helped him be himself, live life at its fullest just like he dreamed for so long. And Power taught him why he shouldn’t merely chase women for romance, why and how anyone can just be your friend, or even something far beyond than a mere friend, while not being in a romantic relationship. 

But most importantly, Power and Aki are what ultimately proves something to Denji; he’s human. It may’ve been said by Makima originally, and maybe it was with her that he cried for the first time, but it’s not truly the same.

He came into Public Safety doubting if he was truly human anymore, doubting if he’d ever cry for people or himself ever again. When Pochita “died”, he didn’t cry. When Himeno died, it stung, but he didn’t really care that much. He thought it’d be the same with Aki and Power, both because maybe he just didn’t have a human heart anymore, and because, who would care for those assholes?

But alas, he did care. He cared, maybe too much, just like they also cared about him. Their deaths were what broke him, what changed him, what somewhat killed Part 1’s Denji and his innocence and his persona, what birthed the more laid-back, depressed and guilty Part 2 Denji. Because he truly cared about them like no one else, because they were the world for him, because it was with them that he truly was human. In a way, Denji opened many doors, and let these people into his life, let them change him and shape how he is as a person, and even though he loved them and they loved him back, that is what made everything hurt so much in the end.

That is why he wanted to give up. Why he wanted to just die, because his life had already been too good, it had reached its peak and then it had crashed down directly to the ground. It is Power’s words and contract that rekindled something within him.

Power’s sheer belief in him was what made him want to go on. Live, and defeat the monster that had broken his family into pieces. Even though he still loved that monster, he had to keep going and defeat it, for Power’s and Aki’s sake, for his family. He couldn’t give up, because that would mean all the love the three of them shared was in vain, a mere fabrication made by someone else in a twisted game, and that just wasn’t true. Because he loved them so much, because they gave everything for each other, their bond was real, and he had to fight for it. 

yeah i love the hayakawa sibs a lot. miss them too.

Anyways, we’re reaching the end (i think). there’s not many characters left for me to go over, but who knows.

Here comes a big one. I may not be the best person to describe this relationship, but I’ll try to, at least.

Reze.

Reze and Denji’s relationship is a tragic one, probably the most tragic out of Denji’s friends and such. 

Reze, like Denji, was a child who was treated harshly and used by those around her, growing up as a weapon for her government, not too unlike Makima herself. It is because of that that she’s sent to take the Chainsaw Devil’s heart, and so, she meets Denji. Not the Chainsaw Man, but Denji.

She was supposed to get close to him first to take his heart, and so, she did. She met Denji, a kid awfully similar to herself, with a charming personality and level of innocence that was awfully odd on someone like himself. He merely wanted to have fun, to love, to learn– Slowly, as Reze understood more and more about Denji, she fell in love with him. In how similar they both were, how he’d always try his best to make her happy, how stupid he could be at times– But, alas, she was still a weapon of the USSR. And so, she had to do as her job commanded, and try and take the boy’s heart for using it as a weapon like herself.

It is after a long fight, in a moment where she can see how he still cares about her, even giving her his own shirt– She presented him with an option. She so deeply wanted to go away, to be left alone by Public Safety and her own countrymen, that she proposed to Denji the idea of just escaping. Leaving and never returning, something she thought he would love! Because they were so alike–

But he couldn’t. Even if he loved her so much, even if Reze meant so much for him, he couldn’t leave Public Safety like that. Not only would they find and kill him, no, he probably never thought about that too much… He couldn’t leave his family behind. He was just discovering what Aki and Power meant to him, how comforting it was to have them and a nice house to live in, and he was still in love with Makima. Even if it hurted, he couldn’t leave with Reze.

Even so, he still tried amending that. He tried to get her to meet him at their usual place, to have a normal date and maybe sort things out with Public Safety, but alas, she never showed up. And I believe this is something really important to understand about Denji’s POV; 

From his perspective, Reze never came back. For all he knew, she wasn’t truly in love with him, and didn’t care to show up for their date. Denji didn’t know what really caused her to stand him up that day, and the next time he saw her– It was as a mere puppet of the Control Devil, trying to kill him. I may have the facts wrong, and I kinda hope I do because this is so fucking sad srsly I hate fujimoto– But Denji never learnt the truth. He never learnt that Reze too didn’t go to school, that she loved him, or that Makima was the real reason why she wasn’t there when she had to.

Here, Denji learns more about himself. He learns what true love is, even if at the time he hadn’t realized it yet; it is with Reze that he understands what the companionship he yearned for so long really was. Not a warped, controlling maternal love that was never reciprocated, but an actual, teenage romance of two people that are so differently similar. And it is with Reze that, for the first time, Denji has his heart broken. Maybe he turns away from it quickly, goes back to just trying to impress Makima, but that is still something that stays in a teenager’s mind, no matter how hard one tries to suppress it.

The thought of what could’ve been, of what would’ve happened if. It’s something that would nag at anyone’s head, and I imagine that it probably still hangs around Denji’s, taking into account that in Chapter 120 Nayuta mentions how “every woman he meets tries to kill him”, I do believe that may imply that he’s told her about much of his past, including Reze. Again, maybe a little too headcanon-y, but that would mean she still holds a place in his mind, which is not really far-fetched or anything, so–

Anyways! We’re coming to a close. I would love to talk about Kishibe, and do love his weird father/uncle-like relationship with Denji, but I don’t believe it holds anything too important aside from having teached a lot about Devil Hunting to Denji. I’d love to talk about it more deeply once he comes back in Part 2 and more stuff happens though! He’s easily in my top 5 CSM characters lmao

Anyways. Here comes the big one.

Makima.

Makima is to Denji many things.

His first love, his greatest opponent, a mother, the person that gave him a purpose and then shred it into pieces.

In a way, they’re similar. They both were confused, lost children once, that needed help and care from others. It took Denji long before he got it, but he did; and that saved him. Makima, on the other hand, never truly had it. She grew up a weapon, someone who couldn’t understand companionship that wasn’t formed by control and manipulation, and so she seeked for someone of her caliber, someone at her own level. That someone was the Chainsaw Devil, the only one who posed a substantial threat to those like her, the Horsemen. 

She fantasized and dreamt of the Chainsaw Devil, as her equal, as the one who could give her her perfect world, or, if not, that would give her the most honorable of deaths.

But Makima never understood the Chainsaw Devil. How it never wanted to harm, to kill; it only ever wanted friends and affection, just like she did. Maybe she never realized, because she held it so highly, but the Chainsaw Devil was the most human of devils. 

But the one who understood the Chainsaw was Denji. He understood Pochita, and gave him a house, food, warmth, protection, and a friend. He gave him lots of hugs, and pats, and always shared with him, and always talked about the dreams that Pochita loved to hear about.

Makima couldn’t begin to understand that. She never once saw the Chainsaw Devil as Pochita, but as the Hero of Hell. She was jealous, jealous of a kid who was similar to her, but who could get that affection and connection with her idol, her equal. She couldn’t begin to understand the Chainsaw Devil as anything but almighty and powerful, as a beast of destruction, one that kills any that it finds on its path. 

Makima gave too much to Denji. She gave him a home, food, a family and friends… She gave him hope. She tried to take it away, but she couldn’t. His relationships with those around him were far too strong for them to be broken like that.

Denji, finally, killed Makima. But everything was still too hard for him, because after everything, he truly loved her. She used him, manipulated him; killed everyone important to him, even weaponized them. But she gave him everything he ever wanted, she gave him his first hug, his first bowl of udon…

Many people loved Makima mindlessly, because of her powers. Aki doesn’t remember *why* he even loved her, and the fiends only remember her “saving” them. The Hybrids too, were clearly mindless as she used them, the Katana Man, Reze and Quanxi all having many reasons to despise her to the core, but her control was just that powerful.

Maybe it influenced Denji to a point too, but something is clear. Denji truly loved Makima. He wasn’t controlled, at least for most of it, like the others. He had reasons to love her, many in fact. All of them may have been fabricated, acted, a lie– But they still were there, and he still remembers all of them. Denji was the only person to truly and wholeheartedly love Makima, but she never cared about that. She merely cared about Pochita, the Chainsaw Devil, who in return merely loved Denji.

Makima hasn’t left Denji’s mind yet, and she probably never will. Because he HAS to remember her, remember all that he went through, for the sake of the ones that died, and for Nayuta’s sake. To be sure she never ends up like that, to be sure she knows she’s loved.

Makima traumatized him like nothing else in his life. The Gun Fiend attack, the memory of his father’s death coming back, Power’s own death, Reze never showing up for their date, etc. All of it was her fault, and he may stop loving her some day, he may already have; but he will never stop remembering all of those moments. How sad, pitiful and broken he felt, how depressed he may have been, how guilty he still is. All of it is her fault.

Yeah. I’m a dramatic bitch.

Anyways, now I should talk more about Part 2’s characters and their relationships with Denji, but I believe that’s best to do some other day, when Part 2 ends or is reaching a conclusion.

I will say, though. Asa is a perfect fit for him, and I truly want to see them learn and grow together, because Denji really deserves *someone* that won’t die on dissapear on him now. Yoshida is a mystery, truly; and I cannot for the life of me decipher what the hell is going to happen with that asshole.

And his relationship with Nayuta is really cute and I love them, but I feel like the way he treats her is probably going to backfire eventually. Not a Makima 2, but something else; that they can solve at the end and so they won’t have to repeat the cycle of just killing the Control Devil and trying again on its next life.

anyways if you read through all of this 1. youre kinda cool 2. you may like to read some other stuff (?!) hit up my AO3 i have a lot of CSM fanfiction there https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddd11

[kimium]

For the ask game: 7, 17, 21, 25!

(From this ask HERE)

Thank you so much for this ask, friend! I'm so excited to answer this!

Remember everyone: this is all subjective and just my opinion. You can disagree with me; that's fine.

7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them?

I cannot stand how fandom views Camilla from Fire Emblem Fates.

Before I get into this however, I want to clarify that I do NOT hate Camilla at all. In fact, I quite like her. With that out of the way, let's get to my thoughts.

Camilla loves her family with all her heart and soul. They're the most important people to Camilla and she'll do anything to protect them. Many of Camilla's fears are rooted in the fear of those she loves leaving her behind. In Birthright and Revelations, Camilla is devastated by Corrin's "defection" and that soul-crushing weight of her fear becoming reality makes me feel so much for Camilla.

This fear is also shown in Camilla's supports with Selena, where she explicitly tells Selena to "not leave her". I'm certain there are other supports.

Yes, I am aware that Camilla in turn to having her fears become reality does suggest or actually act violently, but cut the woman some slack, especially in Birthright where her family is literally being torn apart from the inside out. Also, her country is going to war.

However, I've found that some of fandom has distilled Camilla's personality into my least favourite mature female trope of "Ara, ara you poor thing. Let me hug you to my Very Well Endowed Bosom so fans can fantasize about being pushed up to my chest too. If you try to escape me you're being naughty and need to be punished, tee-hee-hee".

Which, brings me to another point: Camilla is more than just her very well endowed chest. I know the series shoves it into our faces in both Fates and Heroes, but she has more depth than just being there for fanservice.

17. There should be more of this type of fic/art.

Uh, I'm not too sure what to say for this one. In general I like all types of fanart and fanfiction for series. I don't think there is a specific type I want to see in particular.

However, if we want a series I want to see more fanart/fic/attention for I will keep singing my praises for To Your Eternity. It's a fantastic series with such depth to the characters and story telling and I want more to watch and appreciate it.

21. Part of canon you think is overhyped.

Again, not too sure what this question means, so I'm reading it as "a particular part of a series that's overhyped either by the narrative or the fanbase".

-I found Chainsaw Man a bit overhyped for my tastes. Don't get me wrong: I think the art is beautiful, the animation breath-taking, and the character designs fun. That, however, is where my enjoyment of the series sort of fades. I enjoyed the anime and I'm decently caught up in the manga, but the series never hit me emotionally the way other shonen series in the past have. Sorry, everyone. I wish this wasn't the case but I just enjoy it generally.

-Sometimes I think tournament arcs in anime can be overhyped by series. Please do NOT get me wrong. My favourite tournament arc is the Dark Tournament in Yu Yu Hakusho and that series was one of the first pioneers of the trope.

However, over the years some series try to change it up by having an "interruption" to the tournament and sometimes I feel that invalidates the entire build up to the arc in the first place. I also think that allows the writers to chicken out of showing who would actually win.

25. Common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing.

I am so sick of reading about people arguing over ships. Look, people can ship who they want. They're all fictional characters anyways. Even if it's a ship that you REALLY dislike, there is no reason to attach anyone over it. If you don't like a ship and you see someone else like it, ignore them and move on.

[zephfair]

Helloooo!!! I love your fics. Idk why but I would love to read a haunted house pynch version of you haha :D I mean, if you ever need some ideas and feel inclined to write that... I would be super happy!! But obviously it is just an idea, I dont mean to say you have to write anything I say :) I just love how you write pynch, your humour, and generally your fics. And I have been craving a haunted house fic :D Anyway, all the best!!

AAAh, thank you so much! You are way too kind to me!😭 I'm sorry it took me a while to write this, and it's pre-pynch, but I hope you like it! Please let me know if this hit your craving for a haunted house fic!💖💖💖

Rated T for language, I think the only other warning is talking about standard haunted house stuff.

This could take place in canon, soon before The Raven King and definitely before Ronan's birthday and the 😘

“I’m just saying,” Ronan said for at least the fourth time in an hour, “why do you want to go to a stupid haunted house when you live with a fucking ghost?”

“That’s a good question,” Noah suddenly appeared right at his shoulder, and Ronan jumped straight into the air and grabbed his chest.

“Holy Christ, you little shit!” he yelled in a very manly voice, certainly not a screech.

“Sorry,” Noah said, sounding not sorry at all. “Did I scare you?”

Ronan swore again. “I think you gave me a heart attack.”

“I don’t know, Lynch, you might not be fit to even go into this haunted house,” Adam said.

“If you’re uncomfortable, Ronan,” Gansey began but Ronan cut off that bullshit real quick.

“I’m not uncomfortable,” he sneered. “And I’m not not fit,” he said with some confusion but then he found his stride. “I’m just saying that haunted houses suck, especially when you’ve seen some of the shit we’ve seen. Why should I have to pay for someone else to try and fail to scare me?”

“In other words, you’ve dreamed up unworldly, eldritch abominations that were out to kill you...and now you’re afraid to go into a haunted house created by Henrietta high kids,” Adam spelled it out.

Ronan bristled immediately, somehow looking just like Chainsaw when she fluffed herself out in defense. “I’m not afraid!”

“Does this have something to do with your religion?” Gansey worried at his lip and eyed Ronan carefully. “I know some religions forbid celebrating anything that reeks of a pagan ceremony. Although, the origins of Halloween are—”

“I don’t have anything against Halloween,” Ronan grit out. “In fact, let’s go trick or treating right the fuck now. I’m just saying that haunted houses … are stupid,” he finished weakly.

“Well, now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s go, Gansey,” Adam said, already turning away from the car.

“I just thought it would be a fun evening together. Parrish has the night off, and Jane told us about this project that her school does to raise funds for local children.”

“Oh, so that’s why you wanted to come. What, is she going to swoon into your arms in fright, the damsel in distress you can save?” Ronan said with as much sarcasm as he could slather on it.

Gansey froze him with a Look. “Jane is actually working tonight. I thought this would be a boys-night only activity.”

Ronan snorted and looked away. The haunted house was in an old faux-Victorian house on the outskirts of town. Ronan had heard about it before, that the high school theater kids manned the event with a lot of adult supervision to raise money for boys and girls clubs. It definitely wasn’t a high tech or expensive endeavor, but Ronan didn’t like the way his stomach clenched when he looked at the covered windows that were flashing from bright lights inside.

Adam sighed loudly. “Come on, if you’re coming, Lynch. I don’t want to spend my one night off just standing in a parking lot.”

Ronan told him what he could do to himself instead. Adam just glared, unimpressed by the vulgarity.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” Gansey said, clearly uncomfortable by their attitudes.

“No! Go in! It’ll be fun,” Noah said and nudged Ronan in the ribs, making him shiver. “Do you want me to come with to protect you?”

Ronan shivered again. “I’m more likely to have a heart attack if you keep blowing your coldass ghost breath in my ear.”

“Come on, Lynch,” Adam said again but then he smirked. “I’ll even hold your hand, if it makes you feel better.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Ronan grumbled but slowly and very reluctantly got out of the car. Gansey smiled beatifically and led the way toward the entrance while Ronan followed even more slowly. He didn’t want to admit that holding Adam’s hand probably would make him feel better.

The line to get in moved more quickly than Ronan would’ve liked, and the screams and loud noises audible from inside were more disturbing that he would’ve liked too. They finally entered a sort of lean-to that had been built around the exterior entrance to the house’s basement.

There, a bubbly high school girl briefly spelled out the rules (no alcohol, no drugs, no guns, no knives, no violence) and warned them to stay together in the groups she made and not deviate from the marked path. They would start in the basement, working their way up through the horrors of the house until the grand finale on the third floor after which they got to take an inflatable slide to the ground again.

That was the only part Ronan looked forward to.

Then she said, “If you’re with a friend who you think might have a violent or extreme reaction to a jump scare, we ask that you please help restrain them. We value the safety of our performers. Maybe hold hands so your group doesn’t get separated and you all stay together.”

Gansey and Adam shared a Look then each grabbed one of Ronan’s arms—Gansey clutching his right bicep tightly, Adam latching onto Ronan’s left forearm. “Oh fuck you guys,” he hissed.

“We never know how our fight or flight reactions will react until they’re triggered,” Gansey hissed back.

But Ronan did know. He knew the reactions to stress were fight, flight, or freeze. And he’d seen Gansey face enough potential wasp and bee catastrophes to know that he was firmly in the freeze category. And Adam had never once fought back or fled from his father so he was another freezer.

While Ronan, well, he knew that he’d be the first to flee, if that was a choice. Sure, he might throw a punch to gain some time, but if he was alone and not having to protect his loved ones, he’d be away.

So he wasn’t amused that his friends felt the need to restrain him. But his bitterness eased a little when they moved to go down the basement steps, and Adam’s hand slid down his arm to take his hand. Gansey had done the same, casually holding onto his hand like he would a child waiting to cross the street. But Adam, he slid their hands together then entwined their fingers until his bony thumb caressed over the top of Ronan’s.

Ronan gulped and was thankful that the dark hid his burning cheeks and the loud sound effects covered his little whimper.

The first basement room wasn’t that bad as a recreation of a witch’s lair. It was dark with strategic red and purple lights on different scary looking implements. Ronan mumbled, “Satanic magic bullshit,” when a loud witch’s cackle rolled through the room and the witch popped up right in front of them.

Gansey yelled and stepped back right onto Ronan’s foot, which made him yell and swear and jerk back into Adam, which made him yell and squeeze Ronan’s hand so tightly he yelled again.

At least, that’s what they all agreed to afterward.

As the witch’s cackle continued, Gansey hurried them toward the door. “Well, that wasn’t frightening at all,” he shouted over his shoulder. Ronan didn’t answer, too busy brushing fake cobwebs off his head and out of his mouth. That was the problem with letting shorter Gansey go first—it left all the higher decorations smacking Ronan in the face and head.

Adam snickered against his back until Ronan purposely ducked so Adam got a faceful of sticky spiderweb and spit it out with a yuck.

The second room was a graveyard with fake tomb stones and several plastic skeletons that dropped from the ceiling. It was too loud to talk, with recorded screams and other so-called scary noises coming at irregular intervals.

Ronan was starting to feel a little like a stress ball, Gansey first pulling him along then stopping abruptly at a jump scare while squeezing his hand. From behind him, Adam alternately held back, straining Ronan’s arm then crowded tight against his back. Ronan wasn’t about to complain about that. He just tried to balance between the two and shut his eyes at times to keep the flashing lights from giving him a worse headache.

After the last zombie had popped up from a gravestone and menaced them, Gansey spotted the stairs and started pulling them along.

“Holy fuck, this fucking noise,” Ronan ground out, shaking his head.

He didn’t know how Adam even heard him over the growing din from the next room, but he must have. Adam pressed up against his side and breathed hotly in his ear, “How can you complain about this noise when I’ve heard the so-called music you listen to?”

“Oh fuck you,” Ronan said right as a man wearing a leather mask brandished a chainsaw at them. They all obligingly screamed and Ronan felt torn apart again as the other two jostled him in different directions.

Eventually they all got going the same way, headed down a very narrow corridor that apparently wound in a maze through the ground floor. There were scary mirrors, scary zombies, scary clowns, scary fake tarantulas and snakes, whatever was a common fear was represented somewhere.

Ronan was almost getting used to it by the second floor. The horribly loud noises were off-putting, and the flashing lights with alternating pitch-black darkness were jarring, but the jump-scares were actually tame in comparison to the stuff they’d seen.

Even Adam seemed like he was relaxing, and Ronan thought he heard Adam laugh with his forehead pressed against Ronan’s shoulder blade when Gansey got a fake snake around the neck and shrieked doing a little get-it-off-me dance.

Until they got to the stairway to the top floor. There was thick fog floating down, and blue UV lights that made white glow but left everything else in darkness. Gansey squeezed Ronan’s hand and glanced back over his shoulder. “Excelsior!” he cried and started up the stairs.

“Fuck this,” Ronan yelled back and Adam clenched his hand in agreement.

The noises had redoubled, this time combined with a pounding bass beat that was more similar to Ronan’s music than he’d admit but what also sounded like the house had a very arrhythmic, racing heartbeat. It was dark and thick with fog, only the UV light strobing occasionally.

Ronan had to admit it was unnerving. There were definitely people there, just out of reach, but the strobing light made their motion unnatural, unearthly, and only lit parts of their outfits so they flitted from place to place. Ronan couldn’t even push them away as they came closer, circling the group of three.

Then all the lights went out and something collided hard with Ronan’s right arm. He clutched Gansey’s hand even harder and yelled. Gansey had stopped so Ronan took a step closer and whatever hit him didn’t try again.

But the movement had taken him further from Adam and when something rammed into their hands, he felt Adam’s fingers slipping. Ronan was off balance and tried to turn back to move closer to where Adam should be, but something that felt like a human body fell heavily where they were linked, and Adam’s hand disappeared.

“Adam,” Ronan screamed as loudly as he could, wildly reaching, swinging his arm in every direction feeling for Adam.

“Lynch, come on,” Gansey pulled him in the opposite direction in the darkness, but Ronan was turned around in the blackness and kept reaching for where he thought Adam should be.

When he felt his hand brush soft material, he thanked God, almost sobbing, and fisted his hand in Adam’s shirt. Ronan pulled with all his strength, and Adam moved willingly toward him even as Gansey continued to pull him away.

But it was okay, he had a handful of Adam and he was never letting go again. The darkness pressed in on him, he gasped for breath, the fake fog choking him, and his hand sweated in the cotton of Adam’s shirt, his arm wrenched behind him painfully to keep clinging to Adam.

He didn’t understand why Adam let himself be pulled along, it couldn’t be comfortable, why didn’t Adam take his hand again.

Then he looked back right as the black light strobed. And he knew why Adam didn’t respond.

It wasn’t Adam he was clutching.

It was some kind of evil, possessed, Victorian doll but child-sized, in a torn frilly dress, its face a gaping maw of a black mouth and gaping black holes where the eyes should be.

Ronan screamed. He couldn’t even let go of the tight grasp he had on the doll’s sleeve—he just froze and screamed.

When the doll stepped closer right as the light went off, Ronan tore free from Gansey and ran.

Right into a wall that knocked him right onto his ass.

At least it made him stop screaming. He sat on the floor, shaking, rubbing the growing bump on his forehead until the light flashed on again.

And the doll was standing right above him.

He screamed again then saw another shirt glowing behind the doll. A familiar hand landed on the doll’s shoulder and pulled it back.

“I think you’ve scared him enough, Blue,” Adam said.

**********

Ronan sat on the curb down the street from the haunted house and gasped for air. His head hung between his knees which were currently somewhere up around his ears. He hadn’t passed out, exactly, but things had gone black around the edges and he didn’t really remember getting out of the building.

Apparently, Gansey had joined them and between the three of them, they got Ronan onto the slide that took them down to the parking lot. There a volunteer medic had examined Ronan’s forehead, offered him a bandaid, and told him to sit down for a while.

“Here, Lynch,” Adam said, and a sweating bottle of water was pushed into his face.

Ronan took it gratefully, sitting up enough to twist it open and take a long drink. It helped a little, or at least, helped calm his hyperventilating while he chugged and swallowed.

He wiped his mouth with his forearm and shivered. He still couldn’t look Adam in the eyes. “I’m sorry I ruined your one night out or whatever,” he muttered.

Adam sighed and sat down beside him, close enough that his shoulder and arm were solidly pressing against Ronan’s. It made Ronan feel grounded in a way he didn’t realize he was missing.

“You didn’t ruin my night,” Adam said, nudging him a little in the ribs. “It wasn’t my idea to come to this.”

“Yeah, but you were looking forward to it, and then I went and ruined it.”

“First, you didn’t ruin anything. And second, I was just looking forward to being with you. And Gansey,” he added a beat later.

“So you guys weren’t planning this all along?” Ronan had to ask, had to voice his growing fear that somehow they’d all conspired to laugh at him.

“Hell no,” Adam said and pulled away.

Ronan shut his eyes. Of course he had to go and piss off Adam. Way to go, Ronan.

“Lynch. Ronan, look at me.” But Adam had only withdrawn far enough so he could turn to face Ronan. He put his hands on Ronan’s shoulders and tried to turn him a little too.

Ronan finally opened his eyes to see Adam leaning very close but he hung his head again. “Do you really think we would do something to hurt you? You know Gansey loves you like a brother, and Blue loves you like a menace, and I … well, we wouldn’t ever do that to you.”

“I didn’t want to come.”

“We shouldn’t have made you, whatever your reason for not wanting to come. It was a pretty lame haunted house, anyway. And now I’ve got a splitting headache from the noises.”

“Oh shit,” Ronan’s head jerked up. “I didn’t even think about that. God, that must have been torture with your ear. Can I do anything for you?”

Adam looked at him with an expression Ronan couldn’t decipher. Finally he said, “Give me a drink?”

Ronan passed over the water bottle and watched Adam’s throat move as he drank the rest of it. He was trying not to think about swapping spit and backwash with Adam when it hit him.

“Did you actually buy me a bottle of water?” Ronan demanded. “Lemme pay you back.”

“It’s okay, Lynch,” Adam put the cap back on the empty bottle. “My treat.”

“No, that’s not right. I owe you—”

“Ronan. It’s fine. I can afford to get you a water.” Adam stretched out, leaning back on his elbows and looking way more casual than Ronan felt at the moment.

“Well, then I’ll pay you back.”

“Maybe you can buy me a burger. For lunch tomorrow?”

“That’d be awesome. Yeah. Sure.” The words tumbled out of Ronan, and Adam grinned up at him.

Ronan grinned back then hung his head again. “I just can’t believe this was such a clusterfuck. Dick is going to kill me if I ruined his night too.”

“You wanna talk about why you didn’t want to come in the first place?”

“The fuck would I want to talk about?” Ronan muttered and Adam didn’t answer. They sat in silence for a moment until he said, “I just don’t like shit like that.”

“Halloween shit? Haunted shit? Badly performed high school productions?”

Ronan smirked in gratitude at Adam’s casual snark. “Just...shit that only pretends to be scary. Like, one part of your mind is trying to fool the rest into thinking it’s reality just so it can pretend to be scared and get all that adrenaline and shit. It’s like a big con of yourself.”

“Like a lie?”

“Yeah, exactly. I get enough of that in dreams, only in my dreams, what my mind might manifest will actually kill me. If I thought up a creepy haunted doll, that thing is going to murder everyone I love. This,” he gestured back at the house, “This is just weird. I don’t get why people want to pay to put themselves in a fake situation that they know isn’t real just to feel real fear.”

Adam crinkled the water bottle until Ronan looked over at him. “I get it. I think. It’s about vulnerability and control. In your dreams, reality is terrifying and surreal and you might have to run for your life. Or come up with a way to stop the creepy haunted doll. But it’s you doing it. You have the choice to run or fight for your life, so you’re ultimately in control of what happens.”

“Yes,” Ronan said, grateful that somehow he got it. “I’m not chained down and forced to see and do things I don’t want to do. I’m in charge.”

Adam nodded slowly and nudged him. “So no more haunted houses. How do you feel about roller coasters?”

“My driving is the best answer to anyone who wants to ride an artificial scary ride,” Ronan boasted, mostly to make Adam laugh, which he did. Then Adam nudged into his side and they stayed there in companionable silence until Gansey and Blue stood over them.

“Here, Ronan. They say sugar is good for shock, so we got you some hot chocolate,” Gansey held the cup down to him.

Ronan glanced over at Adam who shrugged. “Fine,” he grumbled and accepted the cup.

“I had no idea it would happen like that, Ronan,” Blue said.

Ronan shrugged and swirled the lukewarm hot chocolate.

“I must say, I was mightily surprised to see you there, Jane. After you said you couldn’t make it,” Gansey said cheerily.

“I talked to one of the girls I know in the theater club, and she helped me out with a costume. They sneaked me in to the top floor where I just kind of hung out until they signaled you were coming up.”

Ronan looked up at Blue who looked much less diabolical under the ordinary street light. Her dress and wig were obviously threadbare and worn, and the makeup that had transformed her face into a waking nightmare looked just dark and odd without the UV light.

She shrugged sheepishly under Ronan’s glare. “I didn’t plan it to happen like that. We were going to separate you and Gansey so I’d be holding his hand when he looked back and freaked out. But when I Red Rovered you two, I couldn’t separate you.”

“Red Rovered?” Gansey interrupted.

“You know, that kids’ game? When you hold hands in a line and another kid runs at your arms to try and break you apart?”

Gansey shook his head, never having partaken in the games of ordinary schoolchildren.

“Anyway,” Blue continued, “you and Gansey were, like, glued together so I tried you and Adam instead, and that worked. Two of the other girls had to grab Adam to hold him back while I got in his place.”

They all looked over at Adam. “All I felt was someone run into me and Ronan’s hands until I couldn’t hold on anymore. When I tried to grab him again, people were holding my arms. I thought it was part of the performance until the light came on and I recognized you. And what you were doing to Ronan.”

“I didn’t mean to do anything to Ronan!” Blue insisted. “I’m sorry it freaked you out so bad; I didn’t know that would happen. I just wanted to scare Gansey.”

“It’s okay, Sargent,” Ronan said, proud that his voice was now steady. “It totally freaked me out. Your makeup is badass. You looked like a crazyass doll possessed by the devil.”

Blue smiled proudly and held out her fist. Ronan bumped it with his own. He felt Adam take a deep breath beside him and let it out in relief. Ronan bumped his shoulder into Adam’s.

“Well, I don’t know how I feel about you going to all that trouble just to frighten me,” Gansey said with a little pout.

“Drink your hot chocolate, Gansey,” Adam said and Gansey obeyed.

“So what now? Are you guys ready to grab something to eat?” he said after a long sip. “I feel like burgers.”

“Nah,” Ronan said. “I don’t want a burger tonight. Maybe tomorrow,” he glanced at Adam out of the corner of his eye, “but not now.”

“Who said you get to pick?” Blue asked.

Ronan pointed to his forehead. “I’m the one who got injured. I should get to pick.”

“That sub place out in the strip mall is doing a buy one-get one special,” Adam said.

“Perfect,” Ronan said and Blue nodded. She held out her hand which confused Ronan at first, but then he realized what she was offering. He took her hand for show but got himself to his feet then reached down and ruffled her hair. “Wear that get-up into the sub shop and they might run out screaming so we could get free food.”

She laughed, and Ronan knew they’d be okay. He turned to see Adam smiling up at the two of them so he stuck out his hand. Adam laughed and took it, letting Ronan bear some of his weight. Ronan made a big deal out of pulling him harder and closer than necessary.

“Do I get to hold your hand again too, Ronan?” Gansey’s voice broke Ronan out of his reverie.

Ronan let go of Adam and turned to Gansey. “Any time you want, Dick, any time. Even though you did leave me to the mercies of the evil doll. And you let me run into a wall.”

“Well, next time, I won’t let go,” Gansey promised with a sincerity that made Ronan a little embarrassed.

“Wow, Dick, that’s really romantic,” he sneered, to make all of them roll their eyes and say his name in various tones of frustration.

Then he slung his arm over Gansey’s shoulder and started off toward the Pig, calling behind him, “C’mon you two. Parrish, bring the doll so Gansey can play with her later.”

Then Gansey sputtered and Blue started yelling again, and Ronan felt like they were back to normal. As long as he never, ever had to go into another haunted house again.

[hydrate-or-diedrate]

Where the hell were we

But first a quick flat color Kanaya doodle because I asked my friend to pick a troll. It's been like 3 billion years since I drew anything but blobby cartoon anatomy, I'm super out of practice lmaoooo

Also thank you this person because either would have absolutely not idea how to pose someone holding a chainsaw without them <33

Some day these doodles will end up on my actual art blog as well but for now I am Lazy™️

ANYWAY

Okay look glasses boy I'm pretty certain you did not "solve" pi

Thank you LU server, I keep reading Dirk as Dink

SIGNLESS

This signless(?) is so sweet and chill, I can't wait to meet them, too

They're a historian? Oh I love them. A child(?) after my own heart

AND THEY WRITE FANFIC AWWW

WOAH those sure are horns

Okay this text is starting to seem to apply something adjacent to a vague British accent

By which I mean they're using words like "bloody" and calling people "love" and etc etc so that's inchresting but also kinda weird

AND THEY DRAW? I love them so much and I haven't even met them, I can't wait for everyone to vaguely suggest something terrible about their story in the comments later agskdhhdj

Oh are they finally gonna explain the fuckin typing quirks?

Nope no they are not

Oh my gosh Roxy stop interfering in people's love livesssss

Jane he could always be some variety of bi or pan

These girls have their priorities all out of wack :/

Wow Dirk are you really just gonna drop the head off like you're leaving it at daycare?

Lmaoooo he's got a little parade behind him

I SPY FEFERIS ANCESTOR OMG NO WONDER THEY GOT VIOLENT SO FUCKIN QUICK

AJHD HI DKDH JAKE USING PESTERCHUM OR WHATEVER ITS CALLED IN THIS SESSION TO CENSOR THE ALIENS NIPPLE I CANT

Uh oh nap time

Vriska??? I spy vriska horns???

OH THATS HER ANCESTOR

Oh she's so cute

<??????? is right, Jake

Jake is turning this into a harem manga

I spy a brobot ripping it's own uranium heart out

LMAO Jane just got hard-core friendzoned

I spy a brobot beating its uranium heart to smithereens in pettiness?

Jane, Jake is basically coming out to you and all you can think about is your own damn crush >:/ (but also I am totally biased gimme the gays, I've barely even seen them interact yet I just want gay rep. Queer them into oblivion Hussie I deserve it)

HELL YEAH PROSPIT QUEEN KICK HIS ASS

ID VALL HER QUEEN AS IN THE SLANG BUT THATD BE REDUNDANT

Hello again Jaspersprite!

HELLO DERSITES PLEASE GO AWAY

h-hewwooo?

OH FUCK OH SHIT OH PISS OH HELL OH FUCK

Another UU? Wtf? Also oo black text thats new

A session with only 2 players 👀 oho?

I AM NOT FEELING YOu, MOTHERFuCKER

I agree Cal is an uncanny grinning mockery and a bad omen and should be chopped up and burned fantastic talk

What the fuck is tumut

Here comes the meteorrrr woooo

BETTY CROCKER ARMAGEDDON?

Did they all get fuckin transported? Tf

I'll be honest this is one of the more confusing cutscenes so far simply because Dirk and Roxy seem to have been instantly transported years into the future which doesn't make sense at all but I'm sure will be explained later

Oh boy and of act 6 act 2

Day 13 of reading homestuck hoo boy

Before we read I just want you to know that I added some homestuck songs to my playlist and now pony chorale is haunting me. Every single time I've listened to music while walking between classes, without fail, pony chorale has come on before I reached my destination and I've had to hold back laughter.

WITHOUT

FAIL

Anyway Roxy is getting the TeaTM from Dirk's glasses

Is it am actual love triangle this time or a haha funniee one? Guess I'll find out but hoo boy teenage crush drama, I do not miss it

NOOOOOO FRIGGLISH

FUUUUUUUCK

"Rogue of Void" is certainly new

Hehe spoipage

Again, I am a simple women, put misspellings and funny words in front of me and I'm guaranteed to laugh its not that hard

I SEE TROLL KEYBOARD

Come on these trolls have gotta be our first trolls' paradox ancestors I wanna meet eeemmmmmm

Woag hi Roxy dreamself

I forgot that Cal is back :(

Well hello Squarewave!

bitch

Dave and Dirk truly got some of the worst modii in the story lmaoo

RAP OFF!!!!!!!

Woahhhh bye bye HB

[marypsue]

I’m giving s4 another shot because my watch buddies wanted to, and I’ll admit that now that I’m over the hurdle of that initial shot across my bows, I’m not as bitter towards it as I was. (Although I’m 110% certain that’s going to change the instant Brenner shows his bastard face onscreen again. Let me hate his stupid guts in peace.)

I do want to keep a record of my thoughts, but I will also be putting them behind a cut, for reason of them containing a sprinkling of praise but heaps and piles and pillars of salt. Please skip this post if you don’t want to see negativity.

I don’t really want to tag this because I don’t want to put my salt in the fandom tag, but if somebody wants it tagged so they can block it, please let me know! Because I will be reblogging and adding to this post as I go through the season.

As of the end of episode 2: 

You can really, really tell that the Duffers want to be done with this and move on to other projects, and I kind of wish they would. I would rather they make something new they’re excited about, focusing on a new cast of characters, than keep making decisions I hate with the crew I got attached to. 

It really tells you everything you need to know that they snuck a ‘Rick Sanchez’ into the list of Ricks in the Family Video computer system. 

I will admit that, after he ate the fandom whole, I did not want to like Eddie. However. Okay. I get it. And for some reason, past his initial cringeworthy appearance, the over-the-top overdramatics do sorta work for him and are not merely extremely irritating (I am looking directly at Murray, here). 

(Maybe because there’s an element of self-awareness and self-deprecation that is sadly missing from the ‘big loud annoying quote-unquote comic relief’ characters the Duffers have tried to bring in? This may be a function of the performance rather than the writing.) 

Anyway. This is dangerous theatre-kid propaganda and will lead me to think people actually find those kinds of loud clownish antics endearing. And then. It’s a slippery slope. 

Speaking of Eddie, I just recently finished reading Stephen Graham Jones’ My Heart Is A Chainsaw, and I haven’t yet fully finished synthesizing my thoughts about that laid alongside the Eddie plot but you bet I’m having some. Will report back with new developments as they arise. 

(At the moment, the thought in its entirety is ‘oh so one or more of the Duffers have read this book, huh’.)

(Listen, among all the other, bigger, more conceptual things that are more likely to be coincidentally similar, dramatically broken jaws figure prominently in both. I am just saying.)

(Everybody who got attached to Eddie and/or Chrissy and/or wanted a happy(er) ending AU for them, please go read My Heart Is A Chainsaw. And stan Jade Daniels and Letha Mondragon. Please. I am 99% certain you’ll love them. Also I looked on AO3 and there is no fic for this book, and I don’t want to have to write everything I want to read myself.)

I do have to give the s4 team props for finding a way to put a tabletop game on film like it’s championship sportsball. 

I also really liked the callback to Benny’s. A lot of the flashbacks and callbacks are coming across very like that one post said, how early Jurassic Park was about something but later Jurassic Park is about Jurassic Park, and early Stranger Things was about something but later Stranger Things is about Stranger Things, but Benny’s in particular I liked. Please do not ask me to elaborate on the difference. 

(Something something, retreading familiar ground vs seeing how time and change has affected the familiar/going away and coming back is not the same as never leaving? I don’t know, I’ll stew on it.)

They’re really wearing their inspirations on their sleeves for this one, huh. Apparently recreating classic movie scenes shot-for-shot was too subtle? Now they have to namedrop Michael Myers, and wave a cardboard cutout of Freddy’s knife-glove in our faces, so we don’t blink and miss what’s happening with the killer nightmare sequences? Also love those Deadite eyes. Can’t beat a classic, I guess, although you can always piggyback off of one. 

(I am also just going to come out and say it, because I can’t be the only person who’s thought it. If ‘pretty innocent white woman dies of being invisibly pinned to a ceiling by a demon, kicking off a monster hunt which eventually involves eye-stealing death delivered via invisible undead monster to people with guilty secrets which appear to involve feeling responsibility for a death, if I’m not totally out to lunch about a pretty cheerleader puking in a toilet and having trauma associated with gaining weight being shorthand for One Thing in TV-land’ is not cribbing directly from the Supernatural episode ‘Bloody Mary’, I will eat my hat.)

(And the possibility that the show is referencing Supernatural while in the middle of going full Supernatural is absolutely exquisite.)

I had really high hopes for Max and Lucas’ relationship to be a focal point in this season after that super sweet scene in e1 but?? where is it? Because I haven’t seen any more of it, and it was the one thing that episode offered me that I thought was worth watching more for. 

I have been tenderness-baited. 

On a slightly more serious note jumping off from that dumb joke, I am never going to stop being pissed off that the Duffers appear to think there is exactly one story for queer characters/people, and it is misery, tragedy, and isolation (unless Joe Keery and Maya Hawke are standing behind them with a gun). With that in mind, I get that this fandom skews young and their experiences are therefore Very Different than mine, but...the idea that it’s some kind of Important Representational Milestone to take a character who has canonically been the butt of vicious homophobic bullying from season 1 on, and whose friends have been rejecting and abandoning him for the last few seasons, and has zero positive associations and multiple negative ones with queerness, and make him Canon Binary Gay, and that if another fan has any kind of problem with that then that fan is the problem and not, say, the showrunners who think that being gay means everything sucks and you’re alone and then you die and that’s just how the world works so get used to it? That sucks. That sucks a fucking fat one, and I wish more fans would stop and think about it for a minute before getting up in arms.

And I’m not giving the dufflebags any fucking Representation Points or whatever for this half-baked mess they’ve cooked up. This shit is just gonna give me salmonella. 

I know (though I’m still disappointed) that Kali’s not going to show up again. Because if she did, she would take one look at the El plot and go ‘yeah of course you’re not a monster, every last one of those bitches had it coming’ and she would be right and then the whole business would be over and they’d have to find something else to fill that time. 

Like. I genuinely can’t tell if they actually want me to be conflicted about El’s use of force? They went out of their way to show how all her nonviolent options - talk to a responsible adult, try to reason with the bully, etc - were exhausted? Am I actually supposed to be horrified and questioning whether she’s a monster? Because at the moment all I’m getting is that that Angela bitch missed the memo on ‘talk shit, get hit’, and that a bunch of kidnappers and child abusers got murdered by a child they kidnapped and abused, and I literally don’t see the problem here. I do not have either the time or inclination to sit through endless fingerpointing about what a mOoOoOnster El is for taking the violent option when she didn’t have any others. 

(Especially after season 1. Jesus.)

(Mike: Yeah it was so cool when El broke Troy’s arm and saved my life! El: Yeah, like when I hit this girl who’s been viciously tormenting me for the last nine months in the face. Mike: Sorry, you WHAT? El: Oh this is not a safe space suddenly?)

(I’m actually just going to have to spend the rest of the season daydreaming about Kali showing up and murdering everybody to death, aren’t I.)

(I did call it about that plotline, though.)

Everything about the Russia plot is exactly as bone-stupid as I’d feared. Poor Winona is doing the absolute most with the material she’s been given, it is not her fault.

But you cannot mail a package from the USSR to California in 1986.

And I still cannot fucking stand Murray. 

That’s not how torture works.

No, seriously, that’s not how torture works. Murray, loath as I am to say it, is right. And the fact that they’ve got him in there paying lip service to the fact that people will eventually say literally anything under torture, people will LIE to make the torture stop happening, this is WHY confessions obtained under conditions of torture are inadmissible in a court of law, it is not something you can just shrug off if you’re cool or badass or pure-of-heart enough, that is why they call it TORTURE and then they still walked out that tired old trope about ‘oh but if you’re a Good Guy and you’re Strong you won’t break under -’ fuck off with that. Can we please come back from Cold War Action Flick La La Land for five minutes. 

I’d even maybe almost be willing to let it go as genre convention, except for the fact that somehow season 1 got it right! I’d almost say the show is suffering from Anne Rice Editor Syndrome, except for the fact that there are so many more people involved in making a TV show. So. How????

Speaking of which. 

Once upon a season 1, the Upside Down was, like, a place. A place that was foreign, alien, scary-looking, and largely unfathomable, yes. But it seemed like a world that could exist almost independently from, if interconnected with, our own. It wasn’t well fleshed-out and most of it was stolen from Alien, yes, but it was clearly implied that it had its own shit going on beyond just being ~creepy~ and ~evil~. 

(And wet. But that’s beside the point.)

And once upon a season 1, the monster that came out of the Upside Down was an animal, with a simple, incontrovertible, unstoppable motivation: hunger. 

Once upon a season 1, the governments of the world didn’t fixate on Our Heroes, and were more than willing to make them disappear if they got in the way. 

Once upon a season 1, the antagonists of this show had internally consistent motivations that didn’t revolve entirely around making life difficult for Our Heroes. The antagonists didn’t care that much about Our Heroes, and it was fucking chilling. 

Once upon a season 1, it felt like there was a whole world outside of and around Our Heroes, a real world, that would and could go on without them. Our Heroes felt insignificant, in a way that made their fear and weakness - and their courage and strength - seem all the more real and all the more important. And made it actually seem threatening when their lives and the lives of those they loved were put in danger. 

Now Our Heroes are all decked out in plot armour, and the Upside Down is, like, Hell or something and its sole purpose in existence is to cause suffering on this side of things, and the antagonists are cardboard cutouts that only exist to cause trouble for Our Heroes (but not more trouble than they can handle!) because they’re borderline obsessed with Our Heroes, and everything is neatly cut and dried between Good and Evil, and I’m bored. 

God, I miss season 1. 

Whyyyyy does all the non-supernatural ‘humour’ and drama revolve entirely around aggressively and repeatedly humiliating the characters I came here for. I am in agony. 

And I also still can’t handle the costuming. 

[asstrolo]

𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥'𝕤 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕠𝕟 𝔻𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣/𝕊𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕦𝕤 𝕊𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟? 🏹 (INTUITIVE READING)

(Yes this is a Taylor Swift themed PAC, argue with your mom)

Hii! I FINALLY have the December reading jesus christ i almost died to get this over before December. Okay, let me get you into s little adventure; this pick a card was supposed to be a message for the signs but i couldn't do it, so I decided to make an intuitive PAC because i just wasn't feeling the vibes of the signs, you get me? Anyways....

IMPORTANT: Please, please, while choosing a pile make sure you're not distracted or stressed, otherwise it won't resonate. This is an intuitive reading, so it's okay if it doesn't resonate with you, after all this is just for entertainment purposes!

DISCLAIMER: swiftie behavior

𝗣𝗜𝗟𝗘 𝟭 𝗣𝗜𝗟𝗘 𝟮

𝗣𝗜𝗟𝗘 𝟯 𝗣𝗜𝗟𝗘 𝟰

You got: “fuck the patriarchy” chainsaw 10% off on Target

For the people who chose PILE ONE, I notice tiredness and burnout, laziness and resignation. As I was making this pile i kept yawning and I felt really sleepy, you are not getting enough sleep, your vital force, usual upbeat or restlessness is worn out. You are going through a difficult period in your life, Scorpio season (November) was a little bit difficult for you to say the least, you went through a lot mentally and possibly physically, you are not sleeping well, or, even if you sleep eight hours a day your mind and body feel tired all the time. You aren't paying attention to your surroundings and your head is in the clouds, –or thinking of coming back to bed, honestly– possibly somebody in your close circle of friends or family, or even work, has been draining your energy greatly, this is not just something that has been occuring in November, it's something that has dragged on for months, even years. It could be a job or the environment you are in, or something related to your school or college, but if I'm being honest, i think this relates to a specific person, or a specific group of people. They have been taking and taking and never gave anything back. “This is the last time I'm asking you this, put my name at the top of your list” I'm hearing, could be a past romantic relationship? They never put you first or care to ask you about what you liked or wanted or felt when it was an inconvenience for them, you begged them to put you first but they never did. 

FOR THE MONTH OF DECEMBER, you will gain a lot of spiritual wisdom, you'll start treating yourself better and start asking for the things you want. Yes, you've been super stressed and tired, the word BURNOUT is strong here, the passion and motivation hasn't been there for a long time, you want movement and to do things but both your body and your heart are going at a slow, almost stagnant pace. I think you're a person who's always liked doing things and being in constant movement and having their mind occupied with new projects, you are the kind of people who like to have a lot of work to do, a workaholic, you just like doing things all the time. So, it's not like you to be this way, you want to be the old person you used to, but te you from 2020 and the you from 2021 are two completely people, they will never come to an agreement. What I think you should do is try to find the new you, trying to go back to the past is not going to do you any good. No matter how many playlists that take you back to the past you listen to, they won't heal you, they won't help you make peace with it. I see that you are trying to, maybe unlike what you used to do, feel all the hurt from the past to see if you'll heal that way. I get it, sometimes the only way forward is going back a few steps, but this is not the case. You have to move on, there is nothing in the past for you. You are becoming a new person, it will be way more noticeable in 2022, believe me, right now you are at the beginning steps, but one day you won't recognize the person you used to be. This is why I think Red era Taylor is the perfect for you; there's been a lot of hurt this year, but all that hurt will trigger endless transformations, needed transformations. I'll say it again, there is nothing in the past you can take with you, you will never be the person you used to be, to put this lightly, you are in the Create-A-Sim menu, honey you're still deciding the size of your ass. You are not quite there yet, the energy of December/Sagittarius season it's going to be one of learning to be patient, to be resilient, to be positive despite the blockages you'll face, specially in work or project related things, if you have a vision, be true to it and don't give up, be stubborn.  It's important that you keep learning about yourself too. Overall, and what it's been asked of you is to focus on yourself this month, to learn what is it that you like, what makes you comfortable, what's something you've always wanted to do, and do it just for you. Take back the energy others have been stealing from you. You have a special light.

YOU COULD HAVE THESE IN YOUR CHART: Aries sun, moon, rising, Sagittarius sun, moon, rising, Cancer in big 3, Capricorn 4H/7H, Sagittarius stellium or dominant. A lot of fire energy, Leo sun, moon and/or rising, Aquarius in 4H/7H, Gemini in 5H, Mercury in 5H/9H

EXTRA THINGS: Beware of those so-called friends, they are tricking you. You are pursuing something related to art, writing? You're a reader who enjoys rom-coms or fantasy books a lot, enemies to lovers trope? Self-starting business related to hands, tarot? Manicure? Drawing or painting and selling it on internet. I advice you to buy yourself some crystals, specifically for spiritual cleansing, prehnite crystal and green quartz could be perfect for you. Also black obsidian, but that one can be a little too intense lol.

SONG FOR YOU:

You got: How is he so hot and respectful?

For the people who chose PILE TWO, I think you have the caretaker personality, you looovee helping people and you love being available for people when they need you, you'd do anything for your friends and family, you are a very responsible person in your job, whatever it is that you're doing, and a lot of people depend on you even if they don't say it. You appear to be a happy-go-lucky person in front of everyone, the friend who's always cheerful and energetic, people love your vibes. Let's talk about Scorpio season, November was a very transformative month for you in terms of career and figuring out what is it exactly that you want to do with your life and if you could make more money, and how. Super focused on your academics too! College is important for you, and you haven't been paying attention to romance or even friends. There was some sort of information that you found out in November or month prior that, that left you in a catatonic kind of state, you didn't knew how to react to it, and that is not like you. Maybe you found out your ex already has a new partner while you were still trying to move on from them, and this triggered a lot of things in you, while on the surface you seem quiet and centered in your work, your mind was trying to understand the feelings and the thoughts that went through your head. In all honesty, up until this point your 2021 was pretty difficult to deal with, a lot of negative emotions and a lot of sadness was in you for days on end, but you still got things done and tried to be your best. You never told anybody how sad this made you feel.

FOR THE MONTH OF DECEMBER, there's light at the end of the tunnel! Finally, after eleven months in the dark, the light turns in your direction, a new love, yes, love, is coming in. It's rather quick and unexpected for you, who wanted nothing to do with any of that. Don't worry, this person is amazing, they will understand you and support you, but most importantly; they'll give you your space and they won't push you to talk about your emotions when you don't feel comfortable, which is something you'll appreciate a lot, since opening up it's a very difficult thing for you to do. “Honey, without all the exes, fights and flaws we wouldn't be standing here so proud” When you meet this person you'll realize what it is to love someone and it won't make you feel anxious like before. I'm also seeing that you already know this person, a close friend or coworker or someone you share classes with! You go out for walks together or do something related to physical activity together, you are used to each other's company and it doesn't feel weird when you are around this person. I understand why you got Lover era Taylor, your love life in December will raise from the death (lol) and touch the sky, literally. You will have a special someone with you that'll make you company, you will travel together! Omg, pile two I am so sorry to make this reading all about love when it's probably something you don't want to focus on, but it's just what it is. But let's get serious, this is a great opportunity being given to you, not only to connect with somebody who understands you but to, finally, deal with the you who likes romance and got out of a probably long and complicated relationship. This month is for you to reconnect with your own feelings and put the negative mindset aside, if you don't want anything to happen between you and this person, it won't. But you still have to work on how you deal and how you show your emotions, shutting in has never made you or your mental health any good, why are you still doing it? One last thing, I have the feeling this person is put in your life this way to teach you to not internalize or try to always find the logical side to your emotions, to just feel them. This person very much could be just like you, they have a hard time talking about their feelings and being vulnerable, but they will try for you. It's all up to you!

YOU COULD HAVE THESE IN YOUR CHART: Capricorn in big 3, Gemini Rising, 10H/11H/6H Venus, Leo Sun/Rising, Sagittarius 1H/7H, Scorpio 6H/1H, Virgo Venus, Aquarius in big 3, Saturnian Moon, Aquarius/Capricorn Venus, Libra in big 3, Virgo in big 3

EXTRA THINGS: The best student in class, somebody you knew from a long time before you started developing feelings for, work is related to health or healing people, goes to college and works at night, friends turned to lovers, likes jazz music, your person had a toxic ex, your family know them, you talk about them to your family and they do too, you could've been in a toxic relationship that went on for too long, plants lover, likes/sells bikes, fell in love in November, spends too much time together, one ambivert and an introvert, opposites, giving up on past relationships baggage to start a new one.

SONG FOR YOU:

You got: They think I did it but they just can't prove it *feminist laughter*

For the people who chose PILE THREE, the first thing I'm going to say is that there is something you are not saying, the cards jumped out as if you were inpatient to speak up, is there something that's bothering you and you want to talk about it? Maybe you are impatient for something to happen? However, I think I caught you in a moment of stillness, you are waiting for something, there is a decision you must make but you are postponing it because you don't know what to chose. This could be career wise, you've been given various options at different fields or you are thinking of change your career at university, or you want to try for a job that has to do with social media and selling things but you are unsure since you are new at this. Let's go through November, there was something, some sort of project that involved other people, that you were very excited to begin with and you maybe invested in it too? But these people were untrustworthy, they used you for their own gain, or were irresponsible, waiting for you to do all the hard work, you lost time and money and patience. I am also seeing that you are not to take any major risks in your life, why? You are cautious with people and with everything in general, you plan things beforehand, and yes, you can be a little bit impulsive sometimes, but its only because you are motivated, if something doesn't bring you joy and pleasure, what's the point? Let me be honest with you, you decided on something too quickly before and got really disappointed with how things turned out, or is usually how things go in your life. Since then you've been having a more negative mindset or being scared of choosing wrong, being cautious and smart is totally fine! But you can't let your fear of failure get in the way of you actually doing things

FOR THE MONTH OF DECEMBER, you should cater to your own vision and how you want things to unfold, maybe you let other people make the decisions for you, or that's how it's been lately. You are indecisive or unmoving, this Sagittarius season you should be more opportunist and take risks, this is going to seem mean, but get ahead of people! They have been asking you for your help and when they didn't need it anymore they'd discard you, maybe you should do the same to those people lol. Be a little more fierce, but also go with the flow of things. You will find that getting disappointed and failing is a part of life, those two things can't stop you from keep trying, like I said to pile one (maybe you should read that one too) be stubborn, be resilient and be dedicated. December will give you the opportunity to prove your own worth to other people, I see people don't have faith in you, or maybe you are a conformist, a submissive person that doesn't like fighting or confrontation, and they took advantage of that. Some people, probably your family, doesn't think you can amount to more than what they project onto you, what you showed them of you, nobody really knows you, they are so used to you conforming to others idea of you, they get surprised when you tell them about your dreams and your passions! “Yes, i got your letter, yes I'm doing better. I know that is over, i don't need your closure” Some of these people want to apologize to you just to save face, so they won't feel guilty about the way they treat you, and you don't seem to want to have anything to do with them, you know their hidden agenda. You are more than what people think of you, if it's your fear of being judge that makes it hard for you to achieve your goals, then it's something you are going to have to work on this December, accept that failure and disappointments are a normal part of your life. This is kind of strange but I feel like, for a few of you guys, you want to pursue a career in writing, specifically poetry? And you feel like you will be judged a lot by your family and friends because you are used to partake in the role of funny or calm friend, who's not takes serious almost never. People never ask you how you're doing, they throw their baggage at you, and use you as their therapist? If that's so then charge them for your wasted time lol. Buy something that'll help you motivate yourself to work for that goal, a journal, new pens, a sketchbook, a book, a vinyl of that one album that you use for inspiration. You are the artist of the family.

YOU COULD HAVE THESE IN YOUR CHART: Sagittarius in 6H, Saturn in 4H/6H, Mars in 5H/11H, Water rising, Mercury/Mutable dominant, Pisces in big 3, 10H stellium, Jupiter in 12H/11H, Virgo Moon/Rising, Leo/Scorpio Mars, cardinal Mars, Water or Fire dominant

EXTRA THINGS: Paranoid personality, family gets too involved in your life, oversensitive, poetry lover, a friend betrayed you when money got in between, indie music lover, you fall asleep with ASMR or videos of thunderstorms, trouble falling asleep, you feel judged by your family, your guides protected you from deceitful people and sketchy partnerships in business, winter or autumn is your favorite season, likes watching cartoons but nobody knows? dresses up older than what they are, your birthday is on autumn or winter, small eyes? soft features

SONG FOR YOU:

You got: Vehicular manslaughter

For people who chose PILE FOUR, I see this as a collective reading, this will not only be talking about you but somebody else as well. Let me begin with you, you are a super ambitious person and like having commodities, likes having money and likes spending money on nice things. You aren't one to settle for less, even at your job, your life is your job! And there is nothing wrong with that, why? Because you like your job and you feel a connection with it, as i said, you won't do things that you don't enjoy and you went through a lot to find something you like doing every day, people might call you a high maintenance person, but that isn't true, you've been around people (especially family?) that conforms to the things life has given them and you simply do not want that for yourself, aiming for something better in life does not make you a high maintenance person or a narcissist.... However, you do tend to focus too much on money or how you're perceived by people. You focused a lot of time into growing your career and your finances, and it's been paying off, if it hasn't, December will definitely give you more money, but be careful of overspending on frivolous things you know you really don't need. Now, let's get to the second person on this reading, somebody you met, maybe this year but not likely, you guys already know each other and you have a very tumultuous relationship. Yes, I'm bringing them up, sorry in advance lol. You and this person kind of tried? To be something? But it just didn't work out, it was short-lived and the aftermath of this short relationship last until now, long after it ended, on both ends! “Let me remind you, this was what you wanted, you ended it, you were all I wanted, but not like this” I'm getting this one STRONG AF, one of you is pissed because the other left without trying, and they came back thinking they could mend things, but why didn't they stayed in the first place? And you guys simply cannot forget about each other, the thing here is that you two are too alike, in everything, in your views and likes and dislikes and sense of humor and even the music you both like is the same! You both have the same flaws as the other too, and this triggered so much for each other. Thanks to this relationship you two are completely different people, you wouldn't remember how you used to be before you met them, it was like living in autopilot before they entered your life, it's soooo weird lol, okay.

FOR THE MONTH OF DECEMBER, you are focused on self, something you've postponed for a very long time, your teen years were very difficult to deal with, could it be? You never got a lot of romantic attention as a teenager and that has marked you as an adult, making you question yourself if you are unlovable or unlikeable or people don't want to date you. You are neither of those things, you'd soon find out (thanks to this connection, maybe) that you were too special and unique for people around you, and you're probably going to say yeah right, but it is! You were always a very special person, people had a hard time understanding you or your energy, some people felt intimidated by your presence or uneasy, they just couldn't figure you out? Funny enough, this is what you felt when you met this person, you just couldn't figure them out and you are usually good at reading people, but this person was exasperating to say the least. Sagittarius season is not bringing a reconciliation with each other, because, let's be honest, not talking to somebody is not fighting, you two are dense!!! This makes me laugh, you take everything about this connection so serious but you never really fought? You have a hard time talking and communicating so maybe you pretend that nothing bad happened? It's very strange, you just can't seem to sit down and talk about your emotions, this relationship is not really toxic per say, it's just kind of immature, but I don't think, hopefully, that you guys ever treated each other bad, a lot of ghosting tho, and pretending that didn't hurt the other. Unbelievable. And I keep getting out of topic! December is another lesson you can learn through this past relationship, by trying to understand the other person, you start to understand yourself a lot better, this month is perfect for you to feel all your feelings and look back into this connection not as a loss, but as a learning opportunity, you have come so far! Yes, this person has marked you and changed you forever, sometimes in bad ways but sometimes in good ones, and you will start to understand why everything went down like it did, you clearly triggered something in them as well, in the future you two will be grateful of have crossed paths even if you didn't stayed together. One last thing, unrelated to this person; you have come far in a lot of aspects in your life this 2021, you have been worrying crazy about your finances and how your life is going, there has been some obstacles in reaching your desired goal, but you must keep going! You have a tendency of leaving things once it gets too difficult or isn't as funny as it once was, if you want this badly, you must keep working hard! It won't be done in one day. Also, let people help you, after all you're only human and you should've do everything on your own.

YOU COULD HAVE THESE IN YOUR CHART: Taurus sun/Venus, 7H stellium, Libra Venus/Rising, Venus dominant, Cardinal dominant, 8H stellium, Venusian moon, Aries in big 3, opposite Sun/Venus, Scorpio Mars, Mercury Rx, Gemini in big 3, Air/Earth Venus, Aquarius in big 3

EXTRA THINGS: home life was always messy and dysfunctional, miscommunication, breaking generational trauma, tw**fl**e connection, 2H/4H synastry, scared of intimacy, making playlists to cope with feelings, feeling misunderstood by everybody, “please let me go”, Victoria Pedretti fan?, one of you is older than the other, 4:44 text messages, 2019/2020, an ongoing cycle, clean, 8H/12H synastry, your friends dislike them, their friends dislike you, finally getting over it or solving their issues to be together

SONG FOR YOU:

That's it, folks 🙈🦋✨