#anyway off to bed i go it's already past 11pm for me
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emelinstriker · 8 months ago
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kinda humanoid xenomorph doodle i did for smash or pass
tbh i like the lil head doodle of him more than the fullbody fhgnfhgnhfgnf
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captainnameless · 4 months ago
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Okay, I'm back. I need serotonin to help me get my school work done.
Some very cutesy with charles after monza please if you can. With seb and maybe tying in kimi somehow?
It’s Kimi who flies back with Charles into Monaco, Sebastian moving some last minute things around to go and already be there for when they arrive.
Kimi texts Sebastian multiple pictures of Charles knocked out on the flight, ignoring Sebastian’s texts to wake him up cause it’s way too late in the afternoon for a nap.
Charles is definitely awake when they pull up, and definitely already regressed, racing up the stairs of the building to bang on the door before flying into Sebastian’s arms as soon as the door opens.
“Daddy!”
“Oof!” Sebastian huffs, barely keeping his footing as he wraps his arms around the younger. “Hi sweetheart,”
“Hi.” Charles is practically vibrating, and Sebastian cannot help a soft chuckle, looking past Charles to watch Kimi struggle with suitcases.
“Leave poor old me with the struggle, eh?” Kimi huffs, but there’s amusement lacing his voice.
“Daddy help.” Charles says and Sebastian snorts, digging his fingers in Charles’ sides, Charles shrieking in response and squirming away.
“Daddy help?!” Sebastian says, faux outrage. “Charles help! You should have all the energy if the pictures I got are anything to go off of!”
Charles giggles, staying a safe distance away from any tickles, squirming a little closer to Kimi. “I help Mimi.”
It’s usually Mick who’s calling Kimi that, but Charles has seemingly adopted the nickname when he isn’t feeling too shy and Sebastian watches Kimi melt just a little bit.
“Thank you, Charlie.” Kimi hums, rolling one of the suitcases Charles’ way while he deals with the rest, making sure to shove past Sebastian in the doorway.
- - -
Sebastian’s trying really hard to refrain from saying “I told you so” when it’s past 11pm and Charles is still awake, rolling around in bed and continuously coming back down with a new excuse.
“Charles,” Sebastian hums when the creaky stairs give the boy away again. “Better get back in bed before Daddy catches you.”
Sebastian rounds the corner to catch Charles’ eyes, looking a little bit like a deer caught in headlights, also looking for a trace of sternness, or actually being in trouble but it isn’t there.
“I’m coming up,” Sebastian says, suddenly a bit more pace in his step as he moves towards the stairs and Charles squeals, turning and pouncing back up the stairs again, Sebastian hot on his heels.
Charles jumps for the bed with Sebastian right behind him, giggling like a mad man when Sebastian pounces onto Charles, starting a merciless tickle death.
Charles is shrieking, laughing and squirming while gasping out “Daddy! Please!” so much so that Kimi comes up in concern.
“Don’t kill the boy, quite a few people like him.”
Sebastian snorts, relenting a bit, letting Charles catch his breath while also having to catch his own. “I like him.”
“Please,” Charles gasps, tears in his eyes as he tries to stop the giggles, grasping at Sebastian’s hands. “Please, Daddy.”
“Fine,” Sebastian laughs, falling back onto the bed himself. “I’m getting too old anyway.”
That pulls more giggles out of Charles, who wipes at his eyes and then moves up to fit himself in next to Seb, snuggling into his side when Sebastian wraps an arm around him.
“Go to sleep.” Sebastian hums, pressing a kiss into Charles hair. “Or I’m getting Kimi to hold you down next time.”
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augustinewrites · 2 years ago
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45 with suna pls 🙏🙏
45. "we shouldn't do this" but they do so anyway
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there’s a random reality show playing when someone knocks on your hotel room door.
you ignore it, at first. it’s 11pm, an hour past the team’s scheduled lights out. you’re already comfy, having showered off a weekend of back to back matches and bundled under the comforters. whoever needs you can grab an ice pack and wait till morning.
but whoever it is knocks again, a little more insistently this time. rolling out of bed to grab your hoodie before padding over to peer through the peephole. you roll your eyes when you see who it is, and rin’s leaning against the doorframe, grinning down at you as you open the door. his cheeks are flushed, shirt untucked, and his hair slightly unkempt. the faint scent of booze tells your he’s been drinking, yet his gaze remains steady and fixed on you.
your heart flutters, and you turn away, hoping to hide the blush creeping up your neck.
“i knew you’d still be up.”
“i was about to head to bed, actually.”
rin scoffs at that. “doubt that. mind if i come in?”
he’s not really asking for permission, brushing past you before you can reply, flicking on the lamp and kicking off his shoes before making himself comfortable at the foot of your bed.
“what are you doing here, rin?” you ask, shutting the door behind him before joining him on the bed.
“you mean you weren’t expecting me?” he teases. “don’t play coy, babe, i think we’re past that.”
it wasn’t entirely unusual for him to come to your room during out of town games. though usually he came under the guise of minor medical attention. like stiffness in his neck or a problem with his shoulder.
what never changed is that he always stayed after, lingering for as long as he could before lights out. you’re not sure why he did that, but you weren’t exactly complaining either. you enjoyed talking to him. the two of you talked about real shit, going back and forth for hours about politics and feminism and all the other isms you couldn’t name at the moment.
“well, you seem medically fine, if not slightly intoxicated,” you tell him.
rin sighs deeply, dramatically, before flopping back into your bed to stare at the ceiling. “well i’m not.”
so you lay next to him, the two of you rolling over so you’re face to face.
“cause see, there’s this girl.”
that was…not what you were expecting. but rin’s always been a chatty drunk. “oh?”
“yeah,” he nods. “but i don’t think she knows how much i like her.”
“do i know her?” you ask, heart aching as you file through a list of names in your head, shifting away from him. “if you like her, you should just tell her. no use in keeping it a—”
“it’s you, idiot,” he huffs, catching your wrist. it takes your brain a moment to catch up as he gently presses his lips to your palm. “i’m trying to tell you i like you.”
the relief that washes over you is instant. “you like me?”
“with all my heart,” he grins, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you close.
you can’t help but wrinkle your nose. “that’s so sappy.”
“ah, you love it,” he whispers, gaze flicking to your lips.
“rin,” you warn. “we shouldn’t. motoya’s going to wonder where you are if you’re not back in your room—”
he kisses you to shut you up, and you relent, giggling against his lips and gently kissing him back.
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tendouluvr · 4 years ago
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not telling them you’re pregnant - f!reader
- fluff, sliiiight angst maybe
- characters: suna, sakusa, semi
- warnings: pregnancy (i don’t go into detail of giving birth or anything), cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, two mention of the act of sex in semi’s, some cursing
- wc: 1.4k, 888, 946
a/n: it’s f!reader cuz pregnancy but there’s no specific pronouns/gendered terms used
also idk how suna got so long, he was the last one i wrote for bc i couldnt think of anything lmao
[2. iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama]
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SUNA
#! suna has been practicing late into the night the past few weeks
#! there’s a big game coming up and the entire team is feeling the pressure and adrenaline from the crunch time
#! you haven’t been feeling too good lately, a lot heavier and more tired than usual
#! thinking it was just stress from work and the missing presence of your boyfriend, you pushed through it and thought it would go away in the next few days
#! unfortunately, luck wasn’t on your side and you started to get sudden needs to throw up
#! it didn’t take you long to realize why your physical and mental drive have been down lately
#! you’re pregnant
#! or you believe you are
#! you bought a few tests, some of different brands so you can have a variety, and headed home to confirm your suspicion
#! a few minutes later, staring back at you was multiple positive symbols and the bolded ‘PREGNANT’s
#! taking a few deep breaths, you decided to tell suna tonight once he comes home
#! you thought it was better to let him know as soon as possible
#! it wouldn’t hurt anyone plus the faster you rip the bandaid off, the easier it’ll be to deal with it
#! so you waited
#! and waited
#! until 11pm that night, when suna finally came through the front door
#! “tarō! how was practice? can we talk?” you hurriedly greeted him
#! he was taken aback, not expecting you to be right beside him and in his ear as soon as he came in
#! of course you weren’t, you made sure to put some space in between you and him
#! but suna was stressed and tired, so everything is intensified to him at the moment
#! “can you back up?” he mumbled, pushing his way from in front of you to walk to the kitchen
#! “oh, sorry. can we talk?” you sheepishly smiled, hoping he would say yes
#! you’re not blind, you can tell that suna was tired but you really didn’t wanna put this off
#! you were just gonna tell him, he gets surprised, you both talk it out, and then go to bed and continue figuring things out tomorrow morning
#! but before any of that can happen, suna bluntly told you, “no. i’m tired. i’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal. can it be tomorrow? i wanna sleep.”
#! you didn’t get to answer before he was already walking away to the bedroom
#! understanding where he was coming from, you mentally agreed to talk to him tomorrow. one day wouldn’t change anything and you’ve seen plenty of people not tell their partners until a few weeks in
#! he was right, it wasn’t a big deal (yet)
#! so you waited until tomorrow
#! and waited
#! and once again, he came home late
#! “hey! can we quickly talk, babe?”
#! “i’m tired. tomorrow, okay?”
#! “oh, okay. night, rin!”
#! “g’night.”
#! night came and there was still no talk
#! this continued on for about 2 weeks, you finally choosing to not care anymore and just let him find out whenever he finds out
#! technically, you could’ve just blurted out a simple, “i’m pregnant.” any point during your nightly five seconds conversations
#! but seeing that he really was tired, springing it onto him would either put him in a full body shock for three days or he just doesn’t fully process your words until three days after
#! a month has passed, your stomach was still barely showing like most women at their one month mark
#! you decided to book an appointment for a checkup, it’ll be while suna’s at practice
#! and that doctor appointment was the exact reason suna found out
#! he was at practice when komori entered the gym
#! he had a doctor’s appointment for his annual checkup, and that’s where he saw you
#! you didn’t see komori, busy reading the directory to find your way to the right office
#! but he saw you on the way out. seeing that you looked a bit busy, he chose not to greet you and just quickly walk to his car lmao why is this funny to me
#! entering the gym, he greeted everyone and apologized for his tardiness even though it was excused
#! walking up to suna, he tapped him on the shoulder and quietly told him, “i saw yn at the hospital earlier. it’s been awhile since we all got together huh, they looked a bit different.”
#! ok so komori, being the smart person he is, deducted that you were pregnant when he saw your finger pointing at the ob/gyn office
#! and he genuinely thought suna knew so his comment was suppose to be a small joke that was meant to tease suna and his sex life
#! suna, however, was confused
#! look different? did you get surgery?
#! “what do you mean?”
#! komori rolled his eyes and gave a sweet smile at suna, “congrats you two! when were you gonna tell the rest of us?”
#! suna: 👨‍🦲 huh
#! “are you guys not pregnant?” he blinked at suna’s frozen reaction
#! suna became unresponsive so komori just walked away mumbling to himself about being sure he read the sign right
#! a loud whistle blew and it shook suna out of his daze, everyone got ready to play a practice game of 3 vs 3 while suna ran over to the coach
#! “hey coach, um i think there’s an emergency at home. can i go? ok thanks.”
#! his coach just stares after him as he sprints off, you think? is there an emergency or not?
#! suna quickly drove home, he may or may not have speed a little, and entered the apartment
#! “yn? baby?” he called out only to be greeted back with silence
#! probably still at the hospital....what were you doing there? he thought to himself while rummaging around the house to find anything that could give him somewhat of an idea
#! he was digging around in the bedroom when you came home, his head so frenzied he didn’t hear the front door open
#! but you heard the ruckus from the bedroom and immediately went into fight or flight
#! panicking, you took out your phone to call suna while quietly opening the front door to make your way back out before the intruder catches you
#! the phone rang and rang until it was picked up. “suna?” you whisper-yelled into the speaker. you had a habit of calling him by his last name when you were freaking out. he noticed and was equally alarmed
#! “what’s wrong?” he whispered back just as panicked
#! “there’s someone in our apartment. can you come home?”
#! “huh? oh, are you home?” he cackles into the phone speaker making you move the phone away from your ear, “it’s me, sweets, c’mere.”
#! you warily walked on your tiptoes over to your bedroom, peeking your head in and what a surprise, it is suna
#! “jackass! why are you home?!”
#! “why didn’t you tell me?” he cut straight to the point
#! “huh?”
#! “you’re pregnant. when were you gonna tell me?” his voice sounding stern, but the quiet smile dancing on his face tells a different story
#! “i tried.”
#! “huh? what do you mean?”
#! “all those times i asked if we could talk. i was trying to tell you.”
#! his heart dropped, eyebrows furrowing, while he stared you down
#! suna became unresponsive once again, standing there trying to think back to the first time you asked him
#! two weeks ago
#! “i’m sorry,” he quietly whispers
#! “hm? i..it’s fine....i was a bit sad, but i’m over it. at least you know now,” you casually shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal
#! “no. i shouldn’t have pushed you aside like that. even if you weren’t pregnant, even if you had just wanted to tell me about some stupid video you saw that day, i shouldn’t have told you off. i’m sorry, i love you a lot and you deserve so much better.”
#! “tarō, shut up. i accept your apology and i forgive you, now make it up to me by giving me a back massage while i show you the ultrasound pictures!”
#! he kisses you before lifting you up bridal style making his way to the bed
SAKUSA
#! contrary to popular beliefs, sakusa is not an obsessive germaphobe who finds everything disgusting but you
#! he wouldn’t be playing volleyball if he was that afraid of germs,,,,,
#! yes, he cringes if random little kids grab onto him after games because 1) he’s drenched in sweat and that feeling is not fun
#! 2) he doesn’t even know themmm
#! and 3) he wanna go home
#! but sakusa loves you and if you happened to get pregnant, he would love your kid(s) just the same
#! however, he never told you this. he never really had a reason to voice this out loud
#! so when you actually did get pregnant, you were confused
#! the only interactions between sakusa and kids you’ve seen multiple times were the moments between him and his fans
#! you guys have been to family parties and his nieces, nephews, and cousins looooves him
#! maybe it’s the fact that he’s a tall looming giant and they just want to climb
#! but besides those moments, you don’t recall him ever telling you upfront that he wants children of his own
#! and the constant stress and pressure he always seem to be working around also doesn’t help reassure you in any way
#! being an athlete for a living means always watching your body, health, and looks for the cameras (but omi could care less about the last thing)
#! he also has to make sure whether or not he’s working well with his teammates, practice and improve on anything he’s having problems with, and deal with atsumu’s dramatic ass
#! you’re an overthinker and because of that, all of these reasons were just reasons for you to postpone the pregnancy news to your long term boyfriend
#! it wasn’t too hard anyway, considering practice runs late sometimes and he’s busy majority of the time doing other stuff
#! when you guys do have alone time together, you both are so focused on one another that you actually forget that you’re pregnant and you never told him
#! you’re about to hit the three months mark now — time goes by fast — and sakusa has noticed you and your body changing
#! at first he just thought you were going through a phase of cravings and a bit of bloating, so he didn’t mention it and just let you be
#! he never got to witness you getting morning sickness because he goes on early runs or he was just out doing morning errands so he wouldn’t have to deal with it later that day
#! so when he caught you in the kitchen cutting up a lemon, the last thing he was expecting you to do was bring the lemon directly up to your mouth
#! “uh, what are you doing?” his deep voice caught you off guard, effectively stopping the hand that was holding the lemon
#! you just stare at him, not wide-eyed, not surprised, just stare
#! “eating a lemon.”
#! “i can see that.... why exactly?”
#! “dunno, the baby i guess.” you casually shrugged it off before popping the lemon slice into your mouth
#! “ah-,” he opened his mouth to stop you from eating the lemon, your words not fully processing in his mind, but cut off midway and froze when he finally realized
#! hearing him pause like that made you suddenly remembered that you never told him you were pregnant
#! you slowly turned back to look at him, mouth still slowly chewing the lemon slices
#! a moment of silence later, he unfreezes and just starts stiffly walking towards you
#! he grabbed you by the shoulders, made you look him in the eyes, before whispering, “you’re pregnant?!”
#! “y-yes..”
#! his eyes were wide, black pupils expanding as he stared you down, his lips slowly curving into a small smile
#! “you’re pregnant....,” he whispers, mainly to himself, hugging your head into his chest
#! “mhm, get off me i’m trying to eat,” you gently pushed him off but he wouldn’t budge
#! “omiiii please, if you get off i’ll give you a slice,” you tried bribing him. he couldn’t tell if you were being serious or just teasing
#! “no.”
#! “um ok, two slices?”
#! “no.”
#! “omi!”
#! he giggles before opening his arms to let you go
#! “why didn’t you tell me?”
#! you didn’t reply right away, making him start to overthink
#! did you not want the baby? or did you not want a kid with him? did you not want to be with him anymore? or was it not his?!
#! he childishly shakes his head side to side at the last question. he knew you wouldn’t do that
#! but you were still silent, making him nervously glance at you from the side
#! “sorry, piece of lemon stuck in my teeth. i just forgot to tell you,” the words easily flowing out of your mouth nonchalantly
#! sakusa’s fingers were literally about to start twitching from anxiousness beside you
#! a sigh of relief was heard from him and you turned to look at him
#! “you okay?”
#! he doesn’t answer, just gives you a smile and goes back to hugging you from behind
SEMI
#! you were currently sitting on the couch in your shared apartment waiting for semi to come home
#! he’s been on tour for a few months now, you both kept in touch by facetiming, texting, calling, and any other methods of virtual communication
#! you would tune into the live recording of all of his performances when you had time so you could watch him
#! a few weeks into tour, you suddenly felt different than usual but shook it off as nothing and probably just you missing your boyfriend
#! you believed that until one morning you were woken up by the sudden urge to throw up, dashing to the restroom as fast as your drowsy body can go
#! it was then that you realized you might be pregnant
#! the night before semi left, you both had sex to enjoy your last few hours together before he had to leave for a few months
#! with the new realization, you quickly dressed yourself to make a short trip to the store to pick up some tests
#! after half an hour of looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to wrap your head around this, you finally opened the first box
#! a few minutes later, all 5 tests were lined up on the bathroom counter showing positive
#! you stared at the tests, trying to make sure you weren’t reading it wrong
#! once you began to understand the responsibility of being pregnant a few hours later, you made a mental note to go out and buy some food for yourself the next day
#! you decided to sleep off the rest of that day
#! through all of the facetime calls with semi, you never once told him you were pregnant
#! you knew that if you told him he would freak out and either demand to go back home, or stay but all of his attention would be on you being pregnant alone at home for the rest of the tour
#! so here you are now, sitting with a 4 1/2 months baby bump waiting for your beloved to come home
#! it was around 6pm when the front door opened, sounds of shuffling bags and heavy steps could be heard from the musician
#! he cursed under his breath when he almost tripped over a duffle bag with some of his loungewear, calling out for you as he walks further into the apartment, “baby? i’m home!”
#! he was about to speak up again when he saw you asleep on the couch
#! bouncing his way over, he got onto his knees at the edge of the couch to observe your face. god i miss you, he thought to himself
#! he gently shakes you awake, you jolted in surprise not knowing you fell asleep in the first place
#! “hmm- what?,” soft murmurs falling from your lips as you adjusted your eyes at your surrounding
#! “eita!” he grinned at you, both of you pulling each other into a hug
#! “fuck, i miss you so much.” he whispered into your ears before placing his face into your neck
#! “i miss you more.” you tightened your grip around him making him move up on the couch to get more comfortable
#! you both moved around until he had you cradled in between him, your back against his chest
#! his hands going under your his shirt to caress you there when his movements stopped right on top of your stomach
#! it was silent as his warm hands rubbed your stomach in circles, the gears turning in his head
#! “are you- you feel- why’s your tum so round and hard?” he quizzically asked, still rubbing your stomach
#! “pregnant.” your voice a low whisper, he almost didn’t catch it
#! “what?”
#! “pregnant.” you repeated, a bit louder this time
#! “huh?”
#! “pregnant!” you sighed, moving his hand so you can get off of him
#! he grabs your wrist to stop you from walking away and turns you to look at him
#! “you’re pregnant?!”
#! “i just said that. yes.”
#! you knew you sounded blunt and a bit mean, it wasn’t his fault he doesn’t know at all, but your hormones have been making you crankier and it’s out of your control
#! “sorry. yes, i’m pregnant.”
#! his eyes continuously darts up and down from your eyes to your bump
#! “how long?”
#! “since you left.”
#! “was it the night before?” he was referring to your act of intimacy the night before he left
#! “yea.”
#! “wow. why didn’t you tell me?”
#! “because.”
#! “‘cuz what?”
#! “because i know you. you would either stop touring and come home, or stay but lose focus. i was just trying to not distract you because i know how important your career is to you. and because i thought that you’ll be having a six months break after this tour before your next comeback, i would tell you when you came home. i’m sorry if you’re ma-,”
#! “i’m not mad. oh don’t cry, babe, look at me.”he carefully cups your face, “it’s okay, it’s okay. i get why you kept it from me. and now that i have no schedule for the next six months, i can be there for you until the end of your pregnancy and the beginning of our baby’s life alright?”
#! you weakly nodded against his palms, and he brings you back down to lay your head on his chest as you both softly talk about the past months without each other
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pies-writes-and-more · 4 years ago
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just friends
word count: 5,393
pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Fem!Reader
warnings: literally all fluff. maybe some swearing lol 
a/n: this literally was supposed to be a short fluffy drabble and turned into a full on fic haha. I wrote a lot of this while I was half asleep so please excuse any spelling mistakes haha. I hope you guys like it! 💕 gif below isn’t mind, creds to the original creator!
haikyuu masterlist
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Your window was only open slightly, meant for allowing the cool air to flow in, while also aiding for a certain somebody’s quick escape if it came down to that.
The Fukurōdani Academy Group Summer Camp started tomorrow. Well. Today, if you count the fact that it was already 2AM.
It had originally been 11PM. 3 hours ago, Akaashi Keiji had crawled up the side of your house and tapped his knuckles ever so softly on your window. It had freaked you out for a second until he texted you “Lemme in”, to which you then moved to the window to greet him with a confused look.
“Akaashi, if my parents hear you-” you started, glancing over your shoulder and hoping they hadn’t somehow managed to get to your bedroom door without you noticing.
“Then stay quiet and help me in,” he shrugged, slowly plopping into your room and smiling down at you. “How’s your evening?”
You just stared at him, “Akaashi, it’s late!” You hissed as he crawled into your bed and got comfortable like he was meant to be there. “What’re you doing awake anyways? Don’t you have to be up early for your training camp?”
Akaashi just gave a hum and a nod, patting the other side of the bed he wasn’t currently occupying and giving you a smile. You rolled your eyes and tucked yourself in next to him. It didn’t matter that the two of you were slightly squished, if anything your bed actually felt comfier this way.
Without any more questions, you and Akaashi laid there for hours, whispering as the time ticked by. Your legs slowly tangled together under the sheets and you fit in his side as if you were made to be there.
“What’re you thinking about?” Akaashi asked suddenly, his voice coated with fatigue, eyes lazily opening to look over at you and your pensive expression. It had been so long between topics, you had actually started to think he had fallen asleep.
“What do you mean?” You smiled back at him, your fingers still tracing along the lines on his palm like you had been for the past 10 minutes.
“You’re too quiet to be not thinking. And you’re obviously not sleeping. So what’re you thinking about?” Akaashi explained, interlacing your hands together for a moment. Just to see how they fit.
“Why did you come?” You questioned after a moment, turning to really look him in the eyes this time. Akaashi had such a soft demeanour about him tonight, a gentleness that you hardly ever saw when he and Bokuto were getting up to their usual mischief. But he was always kind and sweet to you, always took a moment of his day to tuck your hair behind your ear, or pluck a piece of fluff off your shoulder. Always put his plans on pause to ask you about your day, texted you about life and school and plans for the future.
His future included nationals. Playing in front of crowds and cameras, screaming fans and loud cheers. His future included volleyball. But you always wondered if there was room for you in that future too.
Akaashi paused, watching your eyes and for a moment, you could’ve sworn he had looked at your lips, a flicker of something different crossing his eyes. “I needed to see you.”
He said it so casually. As if this was normal. As if it was normal for a guy to crawl into a girl’s bedroom and lay in her bed like they were already married.
“I see you practically every day when we’re at school,” you pointed out, brushing a piece of hair from his eyes and trying to determine what he was really thinking because lord knows you could never tell.
Akaashi just stared some more at you, eyes slowly blinking from exhaustion. “I’ll be busy the next few weeks. With volleyball. And I know you’ve got plans for the summer too. I just... wanted to see you before I got all busy. I wanted to just be here with you and pretend like i could come back here.”
“You could,” you added quickly, maybe a bit too quickly, because then he looked at you with surprise. “I like it when you come by,” you admitted to him quietly, sitting up slightly in your bed. “I’m going to miss you while you’re all busy this summer.”
“I can make time,” Akaashi said hurriedly, his teeth tugging on his lips as he sat up with you. “For you. I can make time.”
You look at him with a smile, his thumb grazing over your hand again as he interlaced your fingers together once more. The two of you sat there, both wanting to ask the hovering question that sat buried in your throats.
What are we?
We’re friends, you’d always insist to your friends.
But friends don’t come crawling into your room at the middle of the night to hold you and hold your hand.
We’re just friends, Akaashi had told the team before with flushed cheeks.
But no friend of Akaashi’s had ever made him so nervous, Bokuto pointed out. And friends don’t stare at each other across the room the way you two do.
What are we?
“You should go,” you pointed out as you felt the tensions rising, glancing at the clock. It was almost 3:30AM now. Maybe it was sleep exhaustion or maybe you were just tired of never knowing what you were to Akaashi, but you knew if you didn’t get him out of your room now, you might end up spilling your guts to him.
Had she felt me try to get the courage to confess? Akaashi wondered as he gathered his things, moving to leave from the window again. But not before he wrapped you up into another hug, pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead. Do friends give forehead kisses?
“I’ll miss you,” he stated as he started to climb out the window.
“It’s not like you’re going across the world,” you teased with an awkward sort of laugh. “I’ll come see you guys maybe. When you’re not too busy.”
It could’ve been your imagination, but he seemed to lighten up at this idea. He nodded and pulled his backpack off for a moment to pull a hoodie from it. “To keep you warm when I’m not around,” he told you as he handed it to you. So casual. Like this was just something friends do.
“T-Thanks,” you tried to hide your smile, tried to hide the fact that you wanted to squeal out like a little girl. You held onto the hoodie as he gave you another little wave and crawled out of your house. You held it tighter as he landed on the ground, looking up at you and smiling at you like you were his romantic interest.
Do friends look at each other like that?
When he disappeared from view, you held the hoodie to your chest, smiling as you smelt his cologne or body wash or whatever the hell it was that made Akaashi smell like Akaashi. You crawled back into bed after closing your window tightly and turning off the lights, still gripping onto the hoodie he had left with you.
Do friends miss each other almost immediately after they’re gone? A few days later and there was Akaashi crawling through your window again. You heard the knock on the glass and found him with a tired smile on his face.
“Are you just going to keep visiting me in the middle of the night?” You asked with a giggle, watching him flop into your bed and open his arms asking you to join him.
“I have to look at sweaty annoying boys all day. What’s wrong with seeing a pretty girl every now and then?” He asked as you crawled in. Do friends say things like that to each other?
“Aw it can’t be all that bad,” you insisted, avoiding his eyes as you tried to wave off the compliment. “Bokuto is rather nice to look at.”
Akaashi huffed a bit, tickling your sides briefly until you reminded him in a harsh whisper that your parents were asleep. “Stop thinking about another boy while I’m here with you,” he stuck his tongue out at you playfully.
“Sorry I’ll stick to thinking about them when you’re not around,” you teased, making him poke at your side some more.
Did friends get jealous that easily?
“Why did you come?” You asked him after a while, tracing soft lines with your finger tips down his cheek and jawline, as if carefully measuring out a masterpiece because that’s exactly what he was. “Is the training camp really that bad?”
“Nah it’s alright. It’s fun getting to play with some new teams. Bokuto gets all excited about showing off his skills,” Akaashi responded softly, his eyes closing slowly as the two of you spoke.
“Aren’t you sore? From all your games?”
“Extremely. I’m not going to feel my legs tomorrow that’s for sure.”
“You shouldn’t have walked all this way then, idiot. You’re going to tire out your legs even more.”
“It’s worth it if I get to see you,” his voice was so quiet you weren’t even sure he actually said it. You looked up at him and found his eyes open again, watching you as if gauging your reaction.
Did friends make you feel like your heart would beat out of your chest? Do friends walk all the way to your house in the middle of the night after exercising all day?
What are we?
You wanted to ask, the words forming at your lips. The question was begging to be answered, pleading at your vocal cords to produce some sort of sound.
But what if you were reading into things?
What if friends really do all the things you wondered about? What if you weren’t exactly friends but weren’t anything more either? What if Akaashi saw you as a placeholder. A warm body to be everything a girlfriend could be until he found someone actually worthy.
What if you really were just friends?
Akaashi left a few moments later, groaning softly as he stretched and giving you another exhausted smile as he insisted he’d be back some other time. He traded sweaters with you, pulling out a brand new one for you from his bag and taking the one he had left earlier.
“I’m okay with this one Akaashi, why are you giving me another?” You asked confusedly.
He shrugged and you could’ve sworn there was a blush on his cheeks, “Just cause.”
He wrapped you up in a hug, pressed another kiss to your forehead and slipped out the window. Then spent the whole walk back shaking his head at himself for not saying what he wanted to say.
“Because I like how my clothes smell like you after you wear them,” he spoke aloud into the quiet night. “Because I wanted a part of me to always be with you. Because I don’t want you thinking about Bokuto, I want you thinking about me. Because I wanted to walk all this way to tell you how I felt and I chickened out again.”
The reasons piled into his head and he angrily kicked at some rocks as he walked. Why was it so much easier to think of why when he walked away?
“Because I want to know what we are,” he whispered to himself, stopping his footsteps and staring at the sky for a moment before walking further from you.
More days passed and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed when you didn’t hear from Akaashi as much. He was busy. You were busy. Everyone was busy, you told yourself. It’s not like he forgot about you. Or that he decided to ghost you.
It’s not like he found someone else. It was a volleyball training camp, who could he have found?
You wanted to tell yourself that there wasn’t anyone else and even if there was, it’s not like you had a claim to him anyway. You and Akaashi were just friends.
But you still waited for him every night, looking out the window in hopes he’d come.
Finally you heard a little tap at your window, and there was Akaashi with another tired grin. He seemed like he was glowing more than usual. He seemed bigger, more toned under his jacket.
“I missed you,” you told him shyly and the two of you curled back under the sheets together again.
“I’m sorry,” he sighed, pressing his lips briefly against your forehead. “I got all caught up in training and even after the day is gone, everyone still wants to practice. Even that blond boy from Karasuno seems like he’s getting into it.”
You smiled and nodded, thinking about the few texts that Akaashi seemed to get out to you when he wasn’t so busy, “I’m sure everyone’s training hard for Nationals.”
Akaashi nodded and smiled, shifting so he was lying on his back and staring at your ceiling, “It’s getting really close. We got to be the best we can be.”
“You’re already really good. But I know you guys will win it all,” you beamed up at him excitedly. It was one of your favourite things, watching them play. And these National games always came with such excitement.
“Only if you’re there cheering us on,” Akaashi glanced at you, as if he had asked if you were coming and waiting for you to confirm.
“Of course,” you nodded up at him. “I wanna watch my boys beat everyone! Wipe the floor with them!”
Akaashi smirked and held onto you a little tighter, fingers dancing along your skin gently.
Did friends send tingles up your spine when they touched you? Because you hadn’t noticed it with anyone else but him.
“I can’t stay long tonight, love,” he whispered to you softly after an hour of whispered conversations passed. “I told Bokuto I’d wake up early with him and get some more practice.”
You nodded understandingly, though your heart felt a little as he started to move, “After your camp, maybe we can start doing all those summer things you wanted to do. When you’re not practicing of course.”
Akaashi chuckled and nodded, “Sure. Ice cream, find a beach, go swimming, whoop your ass in a water balloon fight,” he listed off.
You rolled your eyes, shoving his shoulder back as you insisted that he was definitely going to lose a water balloon fight.
His hands grabbed you by the shoulders, pulling you into another hug. This time a bit tighter, like he was scared you were fading away, “I’m sorry I can’t stay,” he murmured to you, pulling away slightly to look down at you. “But I promise I’ll come see you soon.”
Why did everything he say always seemed like something a boyfriend would say? Do friends say things like that?
“I know you’re busy, Akaashi, don’t worry,” you told him with a small shrug, staring at your hands nervously.
“Y/N...”
There was something in his tone... something so foreign. You looked up at him and saw nervousness in his eyes, his hands sliding down your arms to hold your hands.
“Yea?”
Akaashi cleared his throat awkwardly, his eyes glancing between yours and your hands.
“I- We...” he started.
What are we?
Three words.
Or maybe he should ask what you wanted you two to be?
Is that too much? Is that too pushy?
What if you didn’t think there needed to be anything more to this relationship? What if he was overthinking it? What if this was just for fun and you really were into Bokuto?
“Are you okay, Akaashi?” You asked after a moment of him stuttering.
“Yeah... we’ll do all those things and more,” he finally managed out, his eyes avoiding yours more now. “Promise.”
You nodded slowly, wishing he would keep holding your hand as you two moved away from each other. He traded sweaters with you again, pressed another kiss to your forehead, and disappeared into the night.
You spent the night wondering what he had started saying. Why was he so nervous tonight? What was it about tonight that made him so awkward? You hadn’t seen Akaashi nervous in a lot of situations. He was always so calm, but not tonight for some reason. Could it be that he was nervous… just like you were? Could it actually be that you two were something other than just friends?
It was the last day of the summer training camp and the smell of cooking meat made Akaashi’s mouth water. He looked around him, carefully calculating exactly what kind of meats he wanted to grab off of the barbecues. He and Komi chatted with Tsukishima briefly about their baby Ace’s tantrums, Akaashi smirking to himself as he watched his idiotic best friend going around with Hinata, drooling over the lunch. 
“When Bokuto told me to swing by for lunch, this isn’t quite what I expected.”
There was a little lurch in Akaashi’s chest, hearing that voice. He swung around to see you standing there, Suzumeda giving you a little wave after she had shown you to where the team was. “Glad you could swing by! It’s not every day we get to hang out with Akaashi’s friend,” she snickered, a teasing tone in the way she said friend. 
You and Akaashi both just looked at her funny before turning back to each other, a smile on your face, “Did you miss me?”
Akaashi just gave you a little smirk, grabbing you by your wrist and pulling you into a hug, “Obviously.” He smiled down at you. “Sorry, did you say Bokuto told you to come?” He asked suddenly, looking around to find a wide smiled owl looking Bokuto behind him.
“I just thought that you’d actually smile a bit if she came by!” Bokuto insisted with a laugh, hands on his hips all proud-like. “Good to see you, Y/N! Must be nice to come by and hang out with Akaashi huh?”
You smiled up at him and moved to pat his head affectionately, “Of course! But I like coming to see you too, Bokuto,” you teased.
Bokuto’s smirk seemed different this time as he gave Akaashi a wink, “Sure but there’s nothing wrong with being here solely for Akaashi so you two have some time together,” he grinn, poking your nose playfully.
Before you could ask him what he meant, questioning his word choices and teasing sort of tone, Bokuto got called across the field, eagerly grabbing a plate with the food.
“Are you hungry?” Akaashi asked, nodding towards the gloriously smelling food. You nodded but stayed at his side, finding the massive groups of boys a little daunting. “I’ll get you something then, you can stay around here.”
“Thank you,” you squeezed his arm gently and he just gave you one of those kind soft smiles before disappearing into the crowd.
“Come on! She’s super sweet, you’ll love her!” Suzumeda was saying, dragging a bunch of girls in your direction. You blinked in surprise, Shirofuku giving you a wave as she also made her way over.
“How you doing, Y/N?” Shirofuku wrapped her arms around you excitedly, squeezing you into a hug. “You should’ve come with us! You could’ve been a big help keeping these boys in line.”
You laughed, shaking your head, “I’m not quite sure I could do what you guys do,” you insisted shyly, smiling at the other girls who were smiling at you. “Hiya! I’m Y/N Y/L/N,” you offered to the new faces.
Soon, you met all the managers from the other schools and it didn’t take long for you all to be laughing and joking about the various attitudes and characters your teams all had.
“Aren’t you hungry, Y/N?” Kiyoko asked suddenly, noting the lack of food in your hand. “We have lots, and I’m sure some of these boys don’t need to have 7 helpings!”
You nodded and glanced behind your shoulder, finding Akaashi yelling at Bokuto for trying to steal all the meat. “Akaashi already said he’d grab me a plate. Figure it’s better than me getting lost in that group,” you pointed out and turned your eyes back to the girls. 
They were all sharing grins with each other, Suzumeda giggling, “Aren’t they adorable?”
You blinked in surprise as they laughed some more, tilting your head, “Who?”
“You!” Ōtaki laughed. “I don’t know Akaashi much but Shirofuku and Suzumeda told me you two really bring the best out of each other.”
You paused a bit more and the Fukurodani girls noted your hesitation, “Sorry, was it supposed to be a secret?” Shirofuku asked with wide eyes. “Leave it to Bokuto to go spilling everyone’s secrets!”
Your eyebrows furrowed more as you glanced between the girls, “I’m so confused. What secret?”
“That you and Akaashi were dating! We heard he snuck away between days here at the summer camp to go see you and that he finally confessed!” Suzumeda explained, her smile getting more and more stiff as you seemed more and more confused.
“Akaashi and I are just friends,” you insisted nervously, heart pounding against your chest. “W-Why would Bokuto tell people that?”
“I’m sorry, Y/N, we didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that! I thought it was pretty obvious you two liked each other,” Kiyoko admitted, the rest of the girls apologizing profusely. You shook your hands in front of each other, insisting that it wasn’t their fault that Bokuto was being dumb again, your face heating up from embarrassment.
You wondered just how many other people Bokuto had been whispering this news to, but it didn’t take long for you to find out. You excused yourself from the girls, saying you were going to find Akaashi and your food, but really just feeling way too embarrassed to look them in the eye.
You met with a few Karasuno third years, Daichi grinning as he told you that Akaashi had mentioned you before and said nothing but good things.
“It’s really great to finally meet you!” Sugawara had chimed in. “Bokuto told us about your new relationship so congratulations! I have to say, Akaashi seems like he’s smiling more that you’re around.”
You quickly insisted to them as well that you and Akaashi were in fact not dating and that you weren’t quite sure why Bokuto had gone round telling otherwise. The third years apologized on their behalf, sheepishly walking back to their team as you excused yourself yet again.
Even some of the Furkurodani boys grinned at you and gave you a thumbs up, thanking you for making Akaashi smile every now and then. As much as you wanted to take credit for those smiles, you weren’t quite sure how to awkwardly tell them that you and their setter were just. friends.
Did Bokuto not realize that you and Akaashi were just friends? Why was he torturing you like this? It’s not like he didn’t know you were constantly staring at his best friend. You wanted to slip away, hide in a corner, because now it felt like everyone was looking at you differently. You were no longer just a friend of the Fukurodani boys, now you were Akaashi’s girlfriend. You wanted that title more than anything, but not like this. And what would he say when he found out? He’d probably kill Bokuto for insinuating that the two of you were dating because you two were just friends. Just. Friends. And nothing more.
You finally managed to find Akaashi, who was giving a weird look to some of the Karasuno boys, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand, “-who told you that?” He asked, a slight hint of surprise in his voice.
“Bokuto!” A small redhead grinned widely, catching your eye and his eyes widening, “Your boyfriend is so cool!” He yelled at you before stuffing his face with more food.
Akaashi whirled around to see you, both of you sharing a look of what the hell is going on? “I’m going to kill him,” he huffed as he walked over to you, handing you a plate of food. “I’m sorry I took so long but I piled enough on there for the two of us. But… everyone keeps asking me… questions.”
“About… us?” You asked slowly and he just shifted in his stance, nodding slowly. “Me too. Bokuto seems to have a big mouth for things that don’t exist.”
Don’t exist, the words rang in Akaashi’s head as he tried to remind himself that as much as he wanted, you two weren’t dating. He wasn’t sure why Bokuto had it in his mind that you were, or that he could go telling literally everyone around, but he would kill him first and ask questions later.
“Hey hey hey!” Bokuto yelled, as if he felt you two thinking about him and magically appeared behind you two. “How’s the happy couple!?”
“Bokuto, what did you do?” You groaned, not at all hungry anymore even though the food on the plate still smelled incredible.
“Do?” He asked, tilting his head as Akaashi groaned. “Why do you two look so stressed? It’s a BBQ!”
“Bokuto, you idiot. Why does everyone think we’re dating?” Akaashi asked him, flicking his upperclassman in the head. “What did you do?”
“Aren’t you?” Bokuto asked with a furrowed brow, looking between you two. “I thought all those nights Akaashi snuck away, I thought he finally got up the courage to tell you how he feels,” he told you, an oblivious and concerned look in his eyes. “Did he not tell you?”
“N-No,” you managed to get out, your face feeling hot again. What would it take to just forget all of this happened? To forget that Bokuto just insinuated that Akaashi has feelings for you? It had to be a lie right? Akaashi was going to insist that he didn’t have feelings for you and that you two were just friends. You didn’t want to hear it - you’d give anything to just slip away and forget this whole day ever happened. 
“Bokuto, I hadn’t told her yet,” Akaashi sighed instead, shaking his head. 
“You chickened out again?” Bokuto gaped, patting his friend’s shoulder in comfort. “It’s okay, I’m sure it’ll go great when you finally tell her!” He insisted, as if you weren’t standing right there.
“Tell me what?” You asked quietly, watching Akaashi’s somewhat strained expression. Why did he seem so nervous? What did Bokuto mean when he said Akaashi chickened out again? You didn’t want to believe that all of this meant what you thought it meant because getting your hopes up was terrifying. But you stared at him anyways, waiting for someone to explain to you like you were a child. 
Bokuto just grinned, looking between you two as if watching a film and waiting for the ending. “Go on, tell her!” Bokuto insisted to his friend, nudging him towards you.
Akaashi had a flush on his cheeks and he was starting to avoid your eyes. His weight shifted back and forth on his feet as he played with his fingers, sighing quietly, “I didn’t want to do this in front of everyone, Y/N,” he admitted softly.
Your heart was pounding in your ears. This couldn’t be happening now, could it? You were just friends, you were just friends, you were just friends. The words had been repeating in your head ever since Akaashi had first snuck into your room. You two were only friends - there was nothing more. You had to believe that. Because if there was something more, it meant leaving your heart open to be broken. What if he only liked you because you were available? What if he didn’t really see anything in you? What if he moved away after high school and the two of you drifted apart? Losing a friend hurts, but if you two took the next step and then you lost your friend and a lover? It would be devastating. 
“Stop overthinking,” Akaashi stated after a moment, his eyes finally catching yours and seeing that telltale sign that you were spiraling mentally. He took the plate from your hands, setting it on a nearby table so you weren’t holding it for forever. “I like you. I’ve always liked you. I wanted to tell you that night before the summer camp. And every other time that I came to see you. I’ve been wanting to tell you since that day we spent at the park and you kept picking flowers for me. You don’t make me feel like I need to be anything more than me.” Akaashi swallowed hard as he watched your eyes, feeling a little light headed as the words spilled from his lips. “I know we’re friends. But I don’t want to be just friends anymore, Y/N…”
“You don’t?” You asked softly, biting down on your inner cheek nervously. Was this really happening? Your hands were trembling at your sides, looking up at Akaashi like everyone else had disappeared (though you could still feel Bokuto squirming and squealing beside you, watching the interaction). 
Akaashi just gave you that same smile he always did, taking one of your hands and giving it a squeeze, “I’m tired of always telling people that we’re just friends. I don’t want just any friend in my sweaters and I don’t go climbing into people’s rooms in the middle of the night just because they’re a friend.”
“You did what?” Bokuto gasped, eyes widening but immediately shushing when Akaashi sent him a little glare for interrupting. 
Akaashi took another breath and just shook his head slightly, “I want us to be more than friends, Y/N. So maybe if you’re okay with it, we can start telling people that Bokuto isn’t a liar and that… you are my girlfriend?”
You looked around the space, expecting the sky to be falling or some imaginary creature to randomly show up. Because this had to be a dream right?
“You’re not dreaming, dummy,” Akaashi laughed, seeing the panic in your eyes. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. But I needed this off my chest,” he explained, starting to let go of your hand. You watched as a flash of disappointment crossed his eyes before you grabbed his hand again, squeezing.
“Of course I want to,” you breathed out shakily. “I just… always thought you wanted to be just friends. But I’ve always wanted something more with you.”
Akaashi’s face broke out into the biggest grin you’d ever seen before, pulling you into a tighter hug than he’s ever given you before, actually forcing a breath from your lungs.
“Don’t kill her before your first date!” Bokuto screeched, trying to pry Akaashi’s arms from around you. “God, that took you guys forever! I gotta go tell everyone that I’m not a liar now!” Bokuto beamed, rushing away from the new couple to shout it from the top of his lungs that his best friend finally had a girlfriend.
Akaashi laughed a bit and shook his head, watching his idiotic friend bounce around. “You should eat,” he pointed out after your hug was interrupted by the sound of your stomach growling.
You nodded and smiled up at him, “Only if you eat with me.”
“Of course. Can’t leave my girlfriend to eat on her own now, can I?” He teased, a smile on his face as he realized how easy and natural it seemed to call you that. The two of you walked around before finding a spot to eat, mingling with those around you.
You watched as Akaashi talked to people, so calm and almost unaffected by everything that just happened. But then he’d look at you with a smile, open his mouth for you to feed him and take your hand in his, and you felt like you were falling for him all over again. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself later thinking about how many people you were going to have to hear “I KNEW IT” from. Because maybe you and Akaashi were just a little bit more than friends.
Okay fine, a lot more.
haikyuu taglist:
@al0ehas​ @aurumk​ @neko-chii1​ @thisnoodlewritesao3​ @satan-ruler-of-hells​ @trashy-simp​ @jeppiet​ @tobi-momo​ @darkvadeeer​ @haikyuutothetop​ @livy384​ @babyshoyo​ @jesssobs​ @b-bakana​
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starkeygirls · 3 years ago
Text
T H A T  S O M E T H I N G
CHAPTER 3
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summary: Pogues aren’t supposed to mack on other pogues, and if you were to actually listen to that stupid rule, that would leave tourons who left after a week, or your sworn enemies. But what happens when you catch a kooks eye? You know the stigma around Rafe Cameron, you’ve heard all the rumors, and he’s one of the last people you would ever want to be associated with. And you thought the feeling was mutual.
wc: 3k
warning: none. maybe language
a/n:  i didn’t proof read and i honestly, just wanted to get this out while the muse was still high. i hope you all enjoy it. also, i had gotten rid of the taglist for this series bc... after a year i assume those people dont want to be tagged. as always, feedback is always appreciated and encouraged. ​
series masterlist || chapter 2 || chapter 4
__________________________________________ Summer in the Outer Banks was like a never ending party. At least, that’s what you thought before you were old enough to work. It was just hanging out in the water, in the sand, or riding bikes until the early hours of the morning. Now that you were working, you were trying to force yourself awake past 11pm. You and Kie were usually forced off the chateau couches by the boys and dragged to The Boneyard, and tonight was no exception.
“JJ, get your hands off of me, I’m trying to sleep!” You huffed, eyes still shut as he pulled you up off of the couch. 
“No way, there’s a party tonight and we’re all going to be there.” 
“Pope, if you don’t get your hands off of me, I’ll break both your wrists.” Kie barked. The two of you slowly opened your eyes, glaring at the two boys who held you against your will. How did you get so old, so fast? 
Looking to the girl across the room, you sighed, mumbling a small fine as you watched her also give in. You knew you were going to have to, anyway. You would be dragged to the party in your sweats if you didn’t agree- at least this way, you could look a little decent. 
The smug smile didn’t leave JJ or Pope’s lips, the way you had both given in so easily. You Kie stomped off to the spare room- the room that JJ had claimed as his own on the nights that he was too drunk, high or upset to go back to his own home. While the blond may have claimed the bed for nights on end, the one thing he didn’t claim was the dresser, or at least not fully. 
“Gonna wear cashmere for your boyfriend?” JJ teased, brow raising as he leaned against the door frame. Kiara and yourself were busy rummaging through the clothing you had both shoved into the wooden draws, your eyes rolling at his comment. When were they going to drop this stupid joke? It had long lost its humor in your mind, though it was never very funny to begin with. 
It was wishful thinking to think that your friends wouldn’t continue to tease you at the party. Despite only looking at Rafe once, your friends taunted and teased about how you two were giving each other ‘bedroom eyes’. If you were being honest, you wanted to rip your hair out at this point. You felt like the only two options you had were to never be in the same vicinity as Rafe Cameron again, or you had to fuck him, or even worse, date him. None of the options seemed great, because you both loved to party and the thought of being naked in the same room as Rafe made your skin crawl.
Maybe they’ll drop it if you stop reacting to it, you thought. The same way to teach a toddler not to do something. Your friends were pretty similar to toddlers now that you really thought about it. 
---
Floorset day.
It was the worst day, right ahead of shipment day. Having to unpack all of the new clothes, unwrap them, put them in size order and backstock was a nightmare. But you would rather do that than completely rearrange the store and dress mannequins. 
You were fighting with a mannequin arm to try and put it back in its socket, you had already been whacked in the head, nearly tackled by a plastic person, and now you were standing with an arm between your legs, trying to shove the other one on. Letting out a huff as you continued to struggle, you heard the ding of the door. Of course someone had to come in right now. It’s always how it happened. Always when you were on the ladder changing a light bulb, or fighting with the mannequins- they couldn’t just wait ten more minutes to buy some overpriced clothes. Pulling the mannequin arm out of the polo shirt, you placed it on the table, turning to look at the door and who had just come in. 
“Hi! Welcome in! I apologize for the-” You stopped, eyes glancing over Rafe who was looking right at you. Pulling your hair that had clung to your lipgloss, you stumbled over your words. “Uh- apologize for the mess. We just got in some new items.” Taking a deep breath, you smiled. “Let me know if I can help you with anything.” 
He was alone, and if it wasn’t for his behavior, you would have written it off, and turned your attention back to the mannequin, back to the ipad with how the floor needed to be set up. And despite your best efforts to pull yourself from the thoughts of Rafe Cameron that consumed and confused your mind, you couldn’t help but watch as he moved around the store. An internal fight broke out inside of you, wanting to just let the kook do whatever it is he came here for. He had already picked up his items- he came in empty handed so he wasn’t returning anything. Hell, you had told him to let you know if there was anything you could help him with, so why were you still watching? 
You hadn’t seen him in a few days, your last interaction, if you could even call it that, was at the party a few days ago. No texts, not that you really expected any- it wasn’t like you had previously texted him on a regular basis. 
“Sorry, didn’t mean to walk in on you manhandling your boyfriend.” He smiled. And you swore your heartbeat picked up. What the hell was going on with you? Distance makes the heart grow fonder or whatever bullshit Shakespear would have said? Your life was not some cheesy romance movie. 
“It’s okay, I prefer when I have an audience. I think it teaches him more of a lesson.” His lips pulled further into a grin, looking down at your joke back. He paused by the rack of new items you had gotten in the day prior, eyes flickering to you as if silently asking if he was allowed to look through the racks. “Wait, actually there’s something we got in and I thought of you when I opened it.” You pulled the mannequin arm from between your legs, heels clicking as you stepped closer to him. 
“You thought of me?” His brows raised and you felt a heat take over your face. You did what you did best and ignored his question, eyes trailing down the rack as your finger lightly ghosted each piece of clothing until you pulled the sweater out. 
“So this is similar to that shirt you got before, but the fabric is a little thicker for when it gets colder. This color is a good transition color for going into fall, but-” You pause, pulling out another color. “This one is going to let you transition from fall into winter with the deeper tone. Not to mention you can put a button up underneath it to dress it up and also give you another layer. The style is also going to last you a while since it’s a staple piece, and if you like the color enough, it doesn’t matter what colors are in, you know?” You could feel his eyes on you instead of the sweaters you had pulled out, but once your sales side came out, there was no shoving her away. This is what you were good at, it was how you made bigger commission checks. “I noticed you wear more bright colors when you’re out during the day, assuming the country club? And then you wear darker when you’re with friends or at a party. And don’t flatter yourself with me saying I take note of these things, I like clothes. Anyway, you’re obviously not going to wear this sweater out with your friends or to the yard, it’s cashmere and wool- you would be sweating but I don’t know if you’re really going for pink sweater vibes either.” You grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards the second rack. “I think this striped one is literally so nice. The navy and white stripes but not all the way up? It’s nautical but also just yells fall, paired with some brown pants-” You stopped yourself, almost embarrassed with how much you had rambled. 
You watched as Rafe’s blue eyes scanned the clothing you had tossed his way, along with the newest sweater you had brought his attention to. 
“New shoes I bought have navy on ‘em, right?” His brows furrowed, turning his attention to you. Your face perked up a bit. 
“They do, and if you have the plain white, which everyone on The Eight does,” you paused, pulling at the original sweater you had shown him. “This would go, obviously because they’re white. They go with everything.” 
---
You weren’t entirely sure how it happened, but Rafe was now helping you shove the arm onto the mannequin. He had bought almost all of your recommendations, despite the brown pants you reassured would be a good choice. He had nearly laughed in your face, but said he would be back if needed. Aka, he would be back when he realized you were right.
“So you’re the only one here today?” The brunet asked, a popping sound happening from the mannequin before he slowly released the arm, it staying in place on the torso. You nodded, arms up, ready to catch the arm should it fall. 
“Yeah, they trust me to run the store?” You laughed, shaking your head as the concept still baffled you. Lowering your arms, you smoothed out your blouse, running your fingers through your hair as you looked around the store. It wasn’t perfect, but it was getting near the end of the day and the last thing you wanted to do was start another project and stay later than you needed to. “I’m not supposed to be the only one working since I lock up and could obviously take something, but I think my boss knows I need the money and I would be dumb to steal and lose my job.” 
He nodded, taking a seat on the arm of a chair. Looking lost in thought, your own mind began to wander. The hour or so you had just spent with Rafe was actually… nice. Throwing different clothes his way, laughing as he huffed in the fitting room, mumbling a few “absolutely not’s” and rolling his eyes as he came out in a few of the ‘older’ styles, as you called them. He had even convinced you to try on a few outfits, and you couldn’t help but laugh at one of the combos he had chosen. You both laughed until your stomachs hurt.
It was almost domestic in a way, like the two of you had been friends for years. If you were being honest, the past drama, or whatever it had been was nowhere near on your mind. The way your friends teased you, the way Rafe stomping up to you on the beach made you feel - the only thing you felt was happiness. You never expected to find yourself laughing with Rafe Cameron, never expected to have anywhere near a good time with him.
And now you found yourself locking up the shop, Rafe waiting for you outside as you set the alarm code and locking the back door. Your heels clicked along the cement, and with the fresh air hitting you, that’s when what you were doing really hit you. You were going to be seen out in public with a kook. Not just any kook, but Rafe Cameron. He seemed sure of it, had rattled off the two of you going to Duke’s a small restaurant that you had heard had amazing food, not that you could ever convince any of your friends to go. You accepted without much of a second thought. 
But the second thought was hitting now. 
“Did you want to put your things in your car?” Hands fumbling to put your keys in your purse and grip onto your sunglasses. He nodded as you slid your sunglasses on, he followed your motions, take his own off his head and covering his eyes with the shades. Following him to his car, you slid your phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’. While a small bit of worry was coursing through your veins at the thought of getting dinner with Rafe, the last thing you needed was your friends bothering you- or figuring out where you were and making fun of you for actually giving him the time of day.
“You look nice today, you know.” Rafe’s voice was casual as he tossed the large bags into the backseat of his Range Rover. 2020 you assumed, maybe 2019, but there was no way it was any older than four years old. Despite the people you imagined getting in and out of it, it still faintly smelt like new car. You wondered how he kept the smell lingering around for so long. “You looked nice the other day, too. But I don’t know if cashmere is really something you should be wearing in the summer. You’ll sweat.” Oh, so he wanted to tease you now about what you had said to him earlier? Eyes rolling at his comment, you couldn’t help the corner of your lips pulling into a bit of a smile. 
“It’s August, Cameron. It’s basically fall, and it was feather cashmere, anyway.” Your hand waved him off, a light giggle escaping your lips. “But thank you. I’m usually fighting the mannequin in a skirt or dress, but I learned this time.” 
“You mean to tell me that Paul puts up a fight every time?” Of course he remembered you telling him how you had named all the mannequins, because why wouldn’t he? How could he possibly make himself anymore desirable in the moment? He couldn’t- you were sure of it. 
It pained you, if you were being honest. The way he effortlessly made you laugh, and the way you were able to tease each other, firing back at one another. It reminded you of your nights with the pogues, though the sexual comments were yet to be found. He was actually respectful, which surprised you. Was it because he was alone? Why was he alone? Were you just some last resort when all of his friends were busy? You couldn’t think of that right now, no matter the reason, you had already spent time with him, you had already had a good time. You had already agreed to dinner. 
The bet ran through your mind. Was this his way of making money? A second shot at getting you out?  
You couldn’t think of that right now. In fact, you didn’t want to. You wanted to continue to have the good time you were having, it was different, but it was nice. 
Dinner had taken longer than you had expected- but it wasn’t in a bad way. You had actually learned a lot about Rafe, which was something you never thought you would say. That he’s a lefty golfer, which was a bit weird since he was a righty. He was going to take a gap year and already had a few opportunities for college lined up for himself- not to mention he was taking a few courses in the meantime. You learned that despite living in Kildare his entire life, he didn’t have his boating license, and he was allergic to strawberries. 
Your cheeks hurt from how long you had been smiling. When was the last time you had smiled that much? You couldn’t exactly pinpoint it, not that it really mattered. 
He smacked away your card as you attempted to tell the waitress to split the bill, a huff escaping your lips as you glared towards him. “I could have paid, you know. At least half.” 
“Could have, but aren’t going to.” He said simply, flashing you a toothy grin. 
“Well, I’ll leave the tip then.” 
“Or, you could let me handle it.” 
“Is this for some stupid bet?” You finally blurted out, surprised by the words that rolled off your tongue. There it was, that sly smirk again. You were right, weren’t you. What was the bet now? If you had gone out with him Topper would repay him for the dinner and give him extra cash? 
“Bet’s over.” His words held the same simplicity they had prior and now you thought about what you were missing. 
“Over now that I had dinner with you?” 
“No, it was over when you rejected me the other week.” So he actually asked you to have dinner with him because he wanted to. He scribbled on the receipt the waitress brought back, giving her a smile as he thanked her, which you echoed. Rafe brought his attention back to you, raising a brow. “Ready?” 
You walked a little closer to him on your way back towards the shop, hands brushing up against one another here and there- though you didn’t dare take his hand in yours, no matter the urges that ran through your brain. 
Rafe walked you all the way to your car, and a part of you wondered if he had this idea of you being a kook, just because of the clothes you wore- knowing damn well that when he saw your car, the facade would be smashed, and maybe he would be brought to his senses. 
“Thank you for dinner, really.” You smiled up to him, pushing your hair behind your ear. “I had a great night, which is kind of-” Stopping yourself, you wanted to be cautious as to how you proceeded. 
“Weird? Surprising?” He finished for you, both of you laughing at the word choice. 
“I also didn’t hate dressing you in the grandpa sweater.” His hand reached up, shoving your shoulder lightly, you knew how much he hated the grandpa sweater, thinking back to how he jokingly asked you if you had any baby powder to give the full look. 
“I wouldn’t hate seeing you again..” His eyes wandered your face, you could only assume he was looking for any hint of what you were thinking on your face. But you worked in retail, you didn’t wear your facial expressions for everyone to see. 
And that was when it happened. 
Rafe Cameron’s lips were inching closer to yours. The same lips that sipped a glass of red wine at dinner. The lips that had nervously been licked by his tongue time after time during the hours you had spent together. Hours. With Rafe Cameron. The lips that would never taste a strawberry were against your own, and it only took a moment for you to kiss him back.
Not because you felt like you had to, but because you wanted to. There wasn’t even a slight amount of doubt in your mind, which was probably the most confusing part of it all. 
It wasn’t like you hated him, you hated the front he put on in front of his friends. You hated the way he treated your friends sometimes. 
But you didn’t hate the way he had made you feel for the better half of your day. You didn’t hate the way his hand lightly caressed your face, or the way his other hand was gently placed on your waist. You didn’t hate the way his lips felt against yours. 
Finally pulling away, you smiled, nodding. “I wouldn’t hate seeing you again, either.” 
He pecked your lips one more time before telling you to get home safe, tapping the top of your car and turning the direction of his own. 
It looked like avoiding Rafe Cameron was now out of the equation.
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cheri-translates · 4 years ago
Text
Headcanon - When you’re angry and say “Don’t touch me”
Original title: 当你生气地说 “你别碰我”
Original writer: 池离子 (chi li zi)
[ VICTOR ]
You’re seated on the sofa, staring at the hour hand of the clock as it points to “1″, trembling with anger. 
Victor! He promised that no matter how busy he was, he’d return by 11pm. Yet, even now, he hasn’t even called to give you an explanation. His phone is turned off, you couldn’t find him at the office, and all the employees had already knocked off.
Feeling upset, you think about heading to bed, but your immense worry causes your hands and feet to turn cold, and the blanket is unable to keep you warm. As such, you have no choice but to send message after message to Victor. 
Since you once made a promise with him not to head out at night, you wait for him to return home obediently. With this thought in mind, you climb into bed, covering yourself up before breaking into tears.
Click.
Although separated by the bedroom door, you can still hear the sound of the main door opening gently, followed by the soft sound of leather shoes stepping on the wooden floor. You know that he has finally returned, but you have no intention of forgiving him for breaking his promise and not returning your calls.
You hear the rustling of clothes being removed, followed closely after by the sound of the bedroom door opening gently, the familiar footsteps nearing you quietly. The space beside you on the bed dips slightly, and you can feel Victor pulling the blanket from your face.
"Dummy... why are you covering yourself up? It’s so stuffy.”
He speaks softly.
When Victor's hand is about to touch your face, you suddenly grab the blanket and turn over, your back facing him. He’s clearly stunned, and then realises that you weren't asleep, and are even a little angry with him. So he shakes your shoulder and says a soft “I'm sorry”.
"Don't touch me!" You shrug his hand away roughly. Curling yourself up, you begin to sob again.
Victor wants to pull you up, but you avoid him with equal determination, before dropping a cold “don't touch me.”
Victor sighs, then explains himself in a fatigued voice. “Sorry. I returned very late, and it’s my fault. When I drove past the park after work, I saw someone selling the taiyaki that you like, so I bought one. I didn’t have a firm grip on my phone and it fell into the water, so I couldn't turn it on.”
"I was going to buy a new phone along the way, but Goldman suddenly rushed over, saying that E Company requested to terminate our partnership due to contractual issues. Because we were pressed for time, I drove to E City with Goldman to hold a meeting, and only managed to rush back at this time... I’m sorry."
After listening to these simple words, you can’t help but feel an ache in your heart. You sit up with guilt. Despite how tired Victor was, he still had to deal with you being angry when he returned home. This... is really sad.
You turn over to look at him. Realising that your eyes are red, he reaches forward to hug you gently, leaning against your ear to say another “sorry”.
There’s a paper bag sitting at the corner of the bed, and you’re able to see half of a cold taiyaki.
"I'm so tired... let me hug you for a while..."
He embraces you tightly, and you reach out to pat his hair, as if touching a helpless child. 
-
[ GAVIN ]
"Sis-in-law, he really doesn’t take advice. I already told him not to rush ahead, but he did it anyway. Now, he doesn’t even dare to step into the house, and it’s really difficult for us...”
You’re listening to the voice message sent by Eli. Gavin was injured during a mission, and was caught red-handed by you. Eli is the spy you’ve arranged to be by Gavin’s side.
“Eli, tell Gavin that I’ve fallen sick, and that I haven’t told him about it because I don’t know what illness it is yet.”
"Sis-in-law... is this... a good idea?"
"Trust me. I can give your team a brilliant tomorrow.”
"Thank you, Sis-in-law!”
Turning your phone off, you lie down quietly. Thirty minutes later, you hear Gavin opening the door while shouting your name. You listen as his footsteps draw nearer, finally pausing at your bedside.
“Wake up, are you okay? What happened? Are you okay?” Gavin reaches out, wanting to pull you over to himself. Enraged, you slap his hands away and yell at him. “Don't touch me!”
Sure enough, he stops, and you hear him sitting down. What follows after is a protracted silence.
Your thoughts: I’m doomed. Does he find me annoying?
Gavin’s thoughts: Something’s wrong. I definitely did something wrong. What did I do wrong? Anyway, I should admit my mistake first.
"Sorry... I was wrong..."
You hear him saying this softly.
"Why were you in the wrong?”
Gavin is dumbfounded.
"I don’t know...”
Despite your anger, your heart aches. As you sit upright, you hear him asking with concern, “Are you sick? How are you feeling now?”
"I'm not sick. I asked Eli to call you home. He said that you were badly hurt and was afraid to see me. Am I that fierce?"
Gavin shakes his head.
"I'm not afraid of you being fierce. You can scold me however you like, but I'm afraid that you’d get tired after scolding me, and feel sad when you see my injuries, so I didn’t dare to return."
Pearl-like droplets of tears fall again, and he hurries forward urgently, wiping them away.
"Don't cry..."
"Where did you get hurt this time... don't be afraid to let me see. What I’m most afraid of is not knowing anything. Don’t refuse to come home..." You’re held in his arms, sobbing as you finish your sentence in bits and pieces.
He coaxes you while rubbing circles on your back.
“Okay, okay... next time, I’ll come straight home. I promise."
[ A few days later ]
"Sis-in-law, didn’t you say there wouldn’t be a problem? Us poor kids had to carry weights on our backs while climbing up a mountain...”
-
[ LUCIEN ]
You dislike that bunch of female students! You! Really! Dislike! Them!
Under the pretext of the lecture, they’d look for Lucien. Once Lucien finishes his class, they would surround him, and Lucien would be in the middle, explaining the questions to them patiently.
It annoys you to death!
You’re nestled in the sofa watching a show. Having finished his shower, Lucien steps out of the bathroom, wiping his hair dry while walking towards you.
“MC, the bathroom is already warm and I've filled the tub with water. You can take a bath now.”
As if you couldn’t get angrier, you notice that the tone of voice he uses with you and the female students is obviously the same! So you purse your lips, ignoring him.
Thinking that your lack of response was because you couldn’t hear him over the sound of the TV, he sits beside you on the sofa, leaning in closer.
"Little Butterfly?”
You turn your head away, unwilling to give him any attention.
Assuming that you’re feeling shy, he reaches out to hug you, but is pushed away. He even hears this:
"Don't touch me!"
Lucien's hand stops in the air. For a long time, neither of you speak.
Just when you decide that you’re causing unnecessary trouble and turn to glance back at him, it’s as though you see the ears of a large canine drooping, its tail swinging slightly.
Why does he look wronged? Also, he's a fox, not a dog!
"MC... do you no longer like me?”
You watch as his handsome brows furrow. His movement of leaning over causes his bathrobe to reveal his neckline, and you’re cornered by him on the sofa.
"Don't touch..."
Before you manage to finish speaking, Lucien buries his face into the crook of your neck, his damp hair rubbing against your shoulder and earlobe gently. His hand reaches out to hug you tightly, and you can hear his muffled voice from the side. 
"Are you leaving me? Don't leave me..."
Huh? You heart aches instantly, and you pat his back. 
“Okay, okay... I’m not leaving you. I was just angry because those female students like you so much! I’m sorry for just now...”
"Next time... I’ll pay more attention... So MC, shall we take a bath together?”
"?"
Today has once again been part of Lucien’s plan.
-
[ KIRO ]
As you stare at the black circles underneath Kiro’s eyes, a certain thought drifts to your mind. 
He must have accepted too many job offers, then failed to get proper rest! 
You’ve already told him several times to reject work if he’s able to. After all, he should give himself a break. The last time, he was so tired that he fell asleep on the sofa in the makeup room and was caught red-handed by you. Now, the situation is not only worse, but he spends his free time accompanying you.
This is outrageous!
"Miss Chips! Let's watch a movie tonight! I starred in it! You’ve seen the trailer and poster, right?" Kiro picks up the cap which he uses as a disguise, then hops around you excitedly. But you just can’t ignore the blackish hue underneath his eyes.
Seeing that you’re ignoring him, he grins and steps forward, tugging on your hand. Fuming, you slap his hand away.
"Don’t touch me!”
Kiro’s hand pauses in mid-air. In just a few seconds, you hear the sound of sobbing. 
"Miss Chips..."
Turning your head to look at him, you see that tears are flowing down his cheeks. His eyes are red, and he’s wiping his teardrops with the back of his hand.
Is this the prowess of an actor? Being able to summon tears at will?
His sobbing turn even more aggrieved, and he carefully reaches out to tug on your hand again. Your heart aches, and you don’t fling it away this time.
"Miss Chips... do you hate me? Don't hate me... I work hard because I want you to lead a life which is worry-free, at least in terms of money... I love you so much..."
Ah! Stop talking! I’m a sinner!
You quickly give him a hug, patting him on the back.
“That will never happen! I like Kiro the most, but I’m very worried about your health. You’re still so young, but you’re this tired every day, so of course I’m distressed and angry. I don't hate you...”
He nods, planting his chin on your shoulder.
"I’m already very happy! I haven’t had to worry about money at all. You’ve worked so hard that I’ve got a surplus of wealth now! I want you to turn down a few projects and stay at home with me for a while, okay?”
You feel some movements on your shoulder. He’s nodding.
"Miss Chips... I like you so much..."
"I like you too!"
"Then you should kiss me now!"
He says with a grin.
?
(Did he follow Lucien’s study plan?)
-
[ SHAW ]
“Spring Thunder! Spring Thunder! You! Spit it out right now! Give it back to me!”
[Regarding the nickname] The CN version of MC’s “Mary Sue” alias is 刘春梅 - Liu Chun Mei (“Spring Plum”). Meanwhile, the CN community likes calling Shaw 刘春雷 - Liu Chun Lei (“Spring Thunder”)
Amid your blood-curdling screeches, Shaw dolidges your flailing hands and successfully chomps down your final strawberry cake.
...
With no intention of speaking to him anymore, you stagger a few steps, collapsing onto the sofa.
Shaw opens a bottle of Cola and a bottle of Pepsi in the kitchen, mixing his favourite, unique drink happily.
When Shaw returns with a large cup of mixed Cola and sees your current condition, he calls out to you twice. However, you have no intention of paying any attention to him considering your enraged and depressed state.
He sits beside you, patting your head. 
Your eyes are sharp, and you slap his hand away, saying the cruel words:
"Don’t touch me!”
In Shaw’s heart, he knows that something bad is about to happen. You didn’t call him “Stinky Brother” this time, which meant that you’re genuinely angry.
“No way, what’s up with you? You have such a reaction just because I ate your cake?”
You’re in no mood to argue with him. Your favourite strawberry cake no longer exists. Without it, you will crumble. 
"Spring Plum?”
"..."
He sets down the Cola, attempting to wrap an arm around your waist. But he’s slapped away once again.
"Don’t touch me!”
"..."
You watch as Shaw retracts his hand, gets up, grabs the keys, opens the door, then leaves. All in one swift movement.
Stinky Brother! He was obviously in the wrong, so why is he the one throwing a tantrum!
You close your eyes, missing that sweet and wonderful strawberry cake. Your mind has no room to think about Shaw.
After some time, you hear the sound of the door opening, followed by Shaw’s footsteps, then something being placed on the table. He sits beside you quietly.
Opening your eyes, you see that Shaw is seated, giving you a piteous look.
The scene before you resembles a world famous painting.
"Sister... I'm sorry... I went to buy a new cake..."
On the surface, you seem engrossed in your thoughts. However, your heart has long since been doing flips.
"Forgive me, okay...? Don’t give up on me just because of the cake...”
As though you’ve just survived a huge bloodbath, you sit up with a “hmph”, then pull the cake box over. Sure enough, there’s an entire cake, decorated with strawberries. 
Placated, you wrap Shaw in a hug and give him a kiss.
"What are you talking about, my beloved Shaw? Why would I not want you! I want you more than cake!”
Shaw's eyes darken.
"In that case... let me see just how much you want me..."
More translated and original works: here
[ Permission to translate ]
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池离子: OK! Just state that the source is LOFTER池离子. Also, if you’ve posted it, could you also take a screenshot for me? No need for the whole thing - just a little will do!
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lucy90712 · 3 years ago
Text
Georgenotfound- cooking stream
wc- 1920
~ George woke me up this morning at around 9am which is unusual for him he is never up at this time let alone waking me up for anything other than for me to join his stream. I knew exactly why he was waking me up as well because today he is doing a cooking stream and he wanted my help.
We had already rented an airbnb so that people couldn't work out where we lived and now today we had to get ingredients and move his set up over to the airbnb for the stream. I told George to decide what he wanted to make and I would look up recipes and make a list of ingredients because I just knew that he would do something wrong and the stream would turn out awful, I also had a backup plan that I haven't told George about just incase things go south.
I was still recovering from my sleeping state when the warm covers were ripped off my body and I was pulled forcefully from the comfortable mattress underneath me by my own boyfriend. What a traitor. He dragged me somewhere else in the house I wasn't quite sure where because my eyes were still adjusting to being open and needing to be used but I soon worked out we were in the kitchen and George was getting breakfast for the both of us.
"You know you could have just asked me to get up instead of dragging me out of bed" I said
"I know but thats no fun and plus I never get to wake you up so I thought I'd have fun with it" he replied
Classic George. Any chance he gets he will try and annoy me or make fun of me for some reason but I love me him so I deal with it. He got two bowls from the cupboard and poured cereal into them as well as some milk and giving me one of the bowls without a spoon but I moved past that after all it was early morning and George doesn't function at that time.
I went into the cutlery draw and got two spoons for us because George had yet to realise he was going to have to eat his cereal with his hands. I found him sat at the table that we have looking around clearly wondering where he had put the spoon he was sure he had grabbed.
I decided to play a little bit of a prank on him by putting his spoon somewhere random in the room and sat down with mine to make him even more concerned. He looked at me and the look on his face was priceless he was so bamboozled about what he'd done.
"Are you alright?" I asked
"No I can't remember where I put my spoon" he said
"Wow you really aren't a morning person are you" I said
He looked at me as I got up and walked over to where I put the spoon and grabbed it giving it to him.
"Did I seriously put it over there?" He asked
"No you never even got them out the draw so I'll let you decided if thats better or worse" I said
We ate breakfast together before George went to shower and I got dressed for the day because I showered last night. George had told me that he got outfits for us for the actual stream so I didn't bother getting dressed up in any way I just put on some leggings and one of George's hoodies that I took from his wardrobe. Sometimes he gets annoyed at me when I steal his favourite hoodies but this one is one of his many versions of his merch so he won't be too annoyed at me.
George came out the shower as I was doing my makeup and he grabbed his grey merch hoodie that he wears all the time so we would be matching today. He didn't seem to notice at first but as soon as he was ready he came over to sit with me as I finished off my makeup like he often does and that was when he properly looked at me.
"Did you steal my hoodie?" He asked
"Yes I did what are you going to do about it?" I said
"Nothing because you look cute in it" he said
I smiled at him and he took my hand to take me out the door to go to the shops and get everything that he needed for his stream. George never let go of my hand the whole car ride and the whole time at the shops, he can be very affectionate when he wants to be like some days he won't want to let go of me and other days he will be so consumed with work that we barely talk. Today's stream is going to be difficult if he's this attached to me but we'll work it out.
While getting all of the things we needed someone came up to George while I was further up the isle getting the right spices. George can get kind of awkward around fans in real life but then he gets even more nervous when he's with me even though the fans know he just finds it weird for people to see us out together.
I left him to talk to the fan and just looked at the wall of various spices that really meant nothing to me but I didn't want George to feel too awkward. That was until I looked over and he had a look of desperation so I walked over to him and he put his arm around my waist, he squeezed me slightly for reassurance. He used me as an excuse to stop the conversation he was having and the fan left us alone.
He told me all about the interaction and said it was super awkward because they didn't really know who he was just recognised him and was asking all sorts of personal questions he wasn't comfortable answering.
After leaving the shop we went home to get most of George's set up before heading to the air bnb to set everything up ready for later. George went into the house while I sat in the car mainly because he said he didn't need my help.
We spent a good few hours setting everything up and starting testing streams to see if everything was working and if camera angles were good. Once it was all ready George went to get the outfits he had brought for us, he handed me mine and I went to put it on. He had got me a proper chef top with buttons and everything and some black leggings to wear with it as well as a chef hat of course.
George started his stream without me so that I could watch it just incase something had broken in the time between when we finished setting it up and now. When I decided that everything was working fine I went into the kitchen to go and join him and get this thing started.
"Chat we also have a special guest this stream" he said
I walked into the view of the camera and the chat started spamming my name and this ship name they have given me and George which kind of doesn't work but they like it so we go with it.
"Hey chat" I said
We got on with cooking and George grabbed what we needed and started preparing things as I read the instructions to him. He did keep getting distracted by various different things and people that were calling him but we managed to do most of it in the end.
First we made mozzarella sticks which was pretty easy and then we moved onto cooking a steak and making chips which wasn't as easy. I offered to cook the steak because I didn't trust George but he wouldn't let me incase I hurt myself which I thought was funny because if anyone was going to get hurt it was him.
Anyway the both of us survived that and frying the mozzarella sticks which was more dangerous and then we got made fun of by Sapnap, dream, bbh and Quackity for calling crepes pancakes even though they are pancakes. (I will not be taking criticism on this) they kept insisting that what we were making wasn't pancakes but we held strong with our argument and won in the end with the help of the British viewers in chat.
When everything was made and we had tried it all we just kind of stood about talking to dream who was the only one left in the call. By now George couldn't bare to be away from me any longer so he put his arm around me and pulled me into his chest, he was not about to let go anytime soon so I gave in and put my head into his chest settling in.
Dream got George to follow his instructions he gave him which involved taking off his hat and headphones then he told him to mess up his hair, as soon as he said this I knew what he was doing and I appreciated it. George always styles his hair when he gets up but I love it when its messy although he never leaves it like that.
George messed up his hair and then went to the sink to get it wet and then messed it up more, he looked so good like that I almost got scared that his stream would see me blushing over just how hot he looked.
"What? I've never seen your hair like that" dream said
"I mean I like your messy hair" I said
"Wait you like it?" George asked
"Yeah of course I do" I said
"Well I guess I'm doing my hair like this from now on" he said
I smiled ruffling up his hair more to make it look exactly how I like it which his chat also appreciated, they were loving this just as much as I was. George ended his stream after like 4 hours making it just past 11pm. We packed up all of George's set up and cleaned the place before starting the drive back home.
By the time we got boys back home I was super tired but I had promised George that I would help him take all of his stuff back inside and set it back up which was going to take a while and I was not looking forward to it.
It took us two hours to set everything back up, I thought I was tired before but now I was exhausted I could barely move I just wanted to be in bed asleep. I tried to get up from my position on the floor but my legs were too weak so George had to pick me up and carry me to our bedroom where he put me down on the bed and chucked a hoodie at my face for me to wear. I got into the covers and pulled them up to just under my chin getting comfy as George got in too placing his arm over me and hugging me from behind which is how we normally sleep. My eyes gradually got heavier as George whispered things into my ear until I couldn't keep them open anymore and sleep took over.
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halsteadsfave · 4 years ago
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My Fault (j.h.)
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Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader
Word Count: 1071
Warnings: angst, possible spelling errors
A/N: #43 as a request, not by best work, but I hope you like it anyway (:
xoxo ____
Coming home from your long workday in Med, you were pretty exhausted. It was one of these days where everyone around you was in a bad mood. Being a nurse and a helping hand for everybody, you were the punishment bag for everyone today.
Taking off your clothes, getting rid of the make-up, and stepping into the shower shortly after. You were enjoying the hot water.
Getting clothed again after the shower, you were now making some dinner. Some scrambled eggs and you were already happy.
You were now sitting on the couch. Switching on the TV and eating while watching the news. Nothing interesting was going on.
The doorbell rang. It was already 11pm and you were a little bit confused. Just dressed in a big hoodie and some leggings, you decided to open the door after it rang again.
'Jay? What are you doing here?' You asked in shock. Not only that your boyfriend came to you without a warning, but his face was also covered in blood.
'Can I come in?' He asked obviously uncomfortable and you opened the door for him. He looked like a mess.
'What happened?' You asked while getting into the kitchen to get your first-aid kit.
Jay was undercover for the past 3 days and should be for another 2 days. Something must’ve gone wrong.
You went back to him and unpacked the kit. He was sitting on your couch. Jay was just watching you in silence.
'It could hurt a little' you told him before cleaning the wounds around his bleeding nose. He flinched under your touch but remained silent.
'What happened, babe?' You tried again while cleaning other wounds in his face. They were not deep, but very dirty.
Stopping in your tracks, you tried to get an answer from your boyfriend. He was just watching you.
'You can tell me I’m your girlfriend' you tried again and lowered your voice a little. Jay’s eyes were filled with sadness and he just shook his head.
'I can’t' he whispered and his eyes went to the floor. It nearly broke your heart. You wished you could make him talk and don't hide it from you.
You gave him a little kiss on the forehead before continuing to clean his face. You were trying to be as gentle as possible.
Jay was still silent when you finished taking care of his injured face. Taking the remote, you were turning off the television where now a comedy show was shown.
'Is there anything else on your body I should be aware of?' You raised your voice again. You couldn't see much because he was still wearing all of his clothes.
Jay stood up and get rid of his jacket. Now you could take a closer look at his neck and arms, but there were no injuries. Only his fingers were a little bit swollen. He sat down again and you took a closer look at his hands.
While you were cleaning it, a tear fell down on his right hand in yours. You looked up and met his teary eyes. You got up quickly and hugged him tightly. Something but must’ve happened. His tears fell down like waterfalls now. He completely broke down.
You quickly sat down next to him. Holding him tight now while stroking his head. Seeing him like this, literally broke your heart.
'It’s all my fault' he whispered some minutes later into the crock of your neck, where his head was now laying. He wasn’t crying anymore.
'Whatever it is, I don’t think so. Do you want to talk about? Somebody said once I’m a pretty good listener.' You were still stroking his head and trying again to bring him to talk to you.
He looked up for a second. You wiped the last small tears from his face.
'Come on, it’s me. I’m good at this sort of stuff, remember?' You asked him whispering.
Jay inhaled and exhaled deeply. You took his hands carefully in yours.
'There was this man I had to work with. He was one of my best CI's. I had to protect him' he began and his eyes began to get watery again. You gave his hands a little squeeze.
'I-I... Everything went fine, we were nearly ready to get the murder into jail. We were in this house, waiting for a potential sale of drugs. I was absolutely ready to come home again. To come back to you' he paused again and his eyes were narrowing your hands now.
'Suddenly, out of nowhere, 2 people stormed in with machine guns. My man, my CI, was immediately dead. I could hide at first but had to defend myself before the others came and could help me. I don’t know what happened or why it happened, but something went miserably wrong. We were supposed to come out there alive. All of us. And now?'
A tear found a way down Jay’s cheek. You were wiping it away and hugged him. You were holding him tight again. 'It’s not your fault Jay' you whispered into his ear.
'He had a wife and two kids, (Y/N). I don’t know what went wrong. Everything looked good for us' he mumbled into the crook of your neck. You said nothing anymore. You knew it would be best if you let him calm himself now.
Some minutes later he sat up again. With his sleeve, he was wiping his last tears away.
'Thank you babe' he said while slowly looking in your direction again. He had red puffy eyes now, but you could tell that he was feeling better.
'You’re welcome' you assured him with a small smile on your lips.
You sat up too. Now you were stroking his cheek a little bit. 'Shall we go and get a dose of sleep?' You asked and he nodded slowly.
'Come on then' you stood up and took his hand. Going first to the bathroom together. Both of you were brushing your teeth and got ready for the night.
Now you were both laying in bed cuddled up. Your face was laying on Jay's chest. He was holding you tight. His heart rate was slower again. By this, you could tell that he was feeling better again.
'Good night babe' he whispered and gave you a small kiss on your forehead.
'Good night' you answered
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toasty-owl-arts · 3 years ago
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I've Grown Tired of This Body, Cumbersome and Heavy
yo how about 1.8k words of sheer projection
anyway chronic pain Cathy because I get to make my characters have the same problems I do :3
Cathy sighed as she lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Her gut ached and her knees hurt, and her wrists felt like they were made of limp spaghetti, and her head was sore and-
Suffice to say, she wasn’t feeling good.
Groaning softly, Cathy rolled over and pulled the blankets over herself. She tried to get back to sleep, but the sunlight leaking through the curtains was making the room just bright enough that getting back to sleep was impossible. Turning over onto her stomach, Cathy crossed her arms under her pillow and rested her head on it. She chanced a look over at the digital clock on her windowsill and sighed. It was past noon already and she could already hear the other queens moving around downstairs. Not that she was surprised, Cathy was often the last to wake, but she was a little hurt no one had come up to check on her.
Not for the first time, Cathy was glad she’d pulled the mattress off of the bed frame and just set it on the floor. She hauled herself up out of bed, wincing as her knees cracked and popped, and pulled on her favorite hoodie. It took a second to get the door open, her wrists seeming to be rebelling against her, but she made it out of her room and now stood at the foot of her worst enemy. The stairs. Sighing heavily, Cathy reached out and gripped onto the railing, carefully easing herself down the stairs, trying not to wince in pain with each step.
Coming into the living room, Cathy tried her best to put on a brave smile. If she could just push through today, she would be able to sleep this off, no problem. Cathy chuckled a little at the realization that she’d just woken up and was already planning when she could next head to bed.
From the kitchen, Catalina called, “Morning mija, did you sleep well?”
Cathy tried to respond. Really, she did, you had to believe her. But even as she opened her mouth, nothing came out but a soft and hoarse whisper.
At the lack of response, Catalina leaned out of the kitchen over the bar to see what was wrong. At the sight of Cathy leaning heavily on the dining table looking like she was still half asleep, her eyes grew sad. “How bad is it today?”
Cathy shrugged. “2 and a half. Maybe 3.”
Catalina raised an eyebrow doubtfully. “You’re not a good liar mija.”
Crossing her arms and pulling her weight from the table, Cathy glowered at Catalina. “I’m not lying, I’m just tired.”
From the couch, Anna commented, “How are you still tired after sleeping more than you have in weeks? We got you to bed before 11pm for the first time in ages and you’ve slept almost 13 hours, and you’re still not rested?”
Logically, Cathy knew Anna was just messing with her. No actual annoyance was behind the fourth queen's words. And yet- ”Oh, sorry. Some of us aren’t perfectly healthy like the rest of you.” she snapped.
Anna frowned. “Hey, I’m sorry, we’re just worried about you.”
“I know, you didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry too.” Cathy conceded. She pulled out one of the chairs from the table and sat down in it heavily.
Coming over to sit next to her, Anna asked, “Are you going to be okay to do the show tonight? We can call in an alternate if you need one.”
Cathy shook her head, “No, I should be fine. I’ll just rest until the show and I should be alright.”
Anna looked as if she wanted to argue, but instead said nothing, pulling out her phone and scrolling through some new app. Catalina swept into the room, setting down the thermos Cathy usually used on particularly bad days. On the one hand, the soup inside did smell delicious. On the other hand, well… It wasn't that bad today. If she kept telling herself that, it might be true.
“Just humor me mija, please?”
Gingerly picking up the thermos, Cathy got up out of her chair and transferred over to the sofa, sipping at her soup. Catalina walked over, a tea towel still tucked in a back pocket, and sat next to her wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Cathy hesitated, then leaned over onto her godmother’s side, letting her eyes close contentedly. A clattering noise made her crack an eye open, and she blinked blearily as she realized Catalina was holding her meds organizer. Handing Catalina her thermos, she took her meds and popped open the container, wincing as her wrist protested. She dug that day’s pills out of the little pocket, and swallowed them dry, pulling a face at the taste.
Catalina chuckled, “I still don’t know how you do that without water.”
Taking her thermos back after giving Catalina the meds organizer, Cathy snuggled back into Catalina’s side. “Practice I guess.” she could practically feel the sadness radiating off of Catalina at her answer, but she chose to ignore it. That wasn’t a lie anyway.
She didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep until she realized she couldn’t move. Catalina was gone, the thermos of soup gone along with her, and a blanket had been placed over her lap. Someone had moved Cathy so she was laying more comfortably on the couch, which she did appreciate, but she wasn’t thinking about that at the moment. The only things going through Cathy’s head were,
Fuck my knees hurt.
And
I can’t move.
Panic began to seize Cathy as it became startlingly clearer that it wasn’t only fatigue, she just couldn’t move. Shoving the blanket off herself with no little effort, Cathy stared horrified at her legs. They didn’t look any different, but Cathy could feel it. Her knees felt as if someone had locked them in place, and she needed to break them apart. Gently trying to bend one, Cathy cried out in pain as the miniscule movement sent a jolt of pain through her lower body. Tears beaded up in her eyes as the pain started to register in other parts of her body as well. “Catti?” she called.
No answer.
Panic swelled up in her chest as the silence began to feel stifling. “Anne?” she tried, hoping if her godmother wasn’t there, her girlfriend would be at least.
Nothing.
Cathy was hyperventilating at this point, from a mixture of crushing pain, and the horrible fear of being alone.
“Jane? Anna? Kitty?” she was sobbing now, chest heaving, panic making the pain worse, voice growing more and more shrill with each name.
“MADRINA!” Cathy wailed.
The silence was deafening.
She tugged at her hair, before gasping as her wrists seemed to burst into fresh hurt at the strain. Trying to calm herself down, Cathy tried to find something to focus on. Eyes drifting over the various piles of clutter in the living room, before settling on the kitchen table. On it, her meds organizer was sitting there, freshly refilled, holding down a slip of paper. Cathy cursed herself for leaving her wheelchair in her room, but she didn’t think she was going to need it. After all, her body hadn’t exactly given her forewarning that her pain would jump from a 3 to a 7 in the span of a couple hours.
Letting out a sharp cry, Cathy dragged herself upright, setting her feet onto the carpet. Shakily, she pushed herself up, and almost screamed as pain lanced through her as her knees protested. “Just get to the table!” she ordered herself. “Then you can rest, and it will all be okay.”
It was as if Cathy had forgotten how to walk. Left foot, right foot, left foot, stumble and barely catch herself, pause as she realized her rhythm was broken, left foot…
One and a half fucking meters. That was it. Yet Cathy barely made it to the edge of the table before her legs gave out. She scrabbled at the edge of the table, and missed; pulling her meds, the paper, and surprisingly her phone down with her. She lay there rolled over, staring at the ceiling, in too much pain to move.
Finally, she pulled out the paper, squinting at it. There, in Anne’s scrawled handwriting was a little message of,
Hey babe! We thought it best for you to get your sleep. We called in an alternate, and we’ll come home right after stagedoor.
Xoxoxo, Annie
...after stagedoor?
Cathy couldn’t wait that long.
With shaking hands, she popped open her meds and choked them down, before dropping the container onto her stomach and pulling out her phone. Her wrists strained under the effort, but she managed to find Anne’s contact and press on the screen. Cathy just barely pressed the speaker button before her hands collapsed onto her chest.
On the third ring, Anne picked up. “Hey! How’s my little sleepyhead doing? I promise we’re on our way home soon, just going to sign a few programs.”
Cathy managed a choked wheeze.
Immediately, Anne was all business. “Cathy? Cathy, where are you?”
“Kitchen.” she whispered.
“Scale of 1 to 10, how bad-”
“10.” Cathy interrupted, another tear running down her cheek.
She heard Anne’s sharp intake of breath, and then the sound of someone running. “Are you in a chair or are you standing?”
Hands shaking, Cathy sobbed, “I’m on the floor, Anne please I need you.”
“I’m coming, I’m on my way right now.” Anne’s voice was panicked, and Cathy just barely registered Anne’s shouted orders for everyone to pack up immediately.
Cathy choked, then wheezed over the speaker, “Anne can I talk to Lina?”
She could hear Anne’s footsteps over the speaker, and then, “She’s right here.”
“Cathy!” Catalina’s worried voice came over the speaker, and Cathy let out a sob.
“Madrina it hurts, it hurts so bad, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, please come home, I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad.” she begged, repeating herself over and over.
“We’re coming home right now, and we’re not mad. I promise.” Catalina soothed. In the background, Cathy could hear the slamming of car doors and the rev of an engine.
Anne’s voice was getting closer to the speaker again. “-she okay? How fast can we get there? I don't care about breaking any laws, just get us home!”
Catalina was speaking again, but Cathy was finding it harder and harder to focus. “We’re on our way, just hold on mija. I promise we’re going to be there so soon.”
Cathy hummed, not really listening anymore. Her meds were making her sleepy. A small nap couldn’t hurt, right? She curled in on herself, not registering the thud of her phone, or the worried cries of her family. If she could just sleep, maybe the pain seizing her entire body would calm down. For the third time that day, Cathy closed her eyes, body feeling as if it were tearing itself apart. Just a little nap. Just a little-
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engagemachine · 3 years ago
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"You're so gentle," she tells me. They all say it. I hear it from my patients every time I take their arm to wrap the blood pressure cuff around it, or when I place my stethoscope on their belly, or when I rub circles into their back when I've helped them sit up on the side of the bed for the first time in three days. Sometimes they cry, because it's the first tender touch they've felt since they've been in the hospital. It's very humbling and at the same time very concerning -- why has no one else offered this tenderness to you? Why am I always the first?
But I don't feel gentle. Not when a pair of ribs are cracking beneath my hands as I'm doing chest compressions on a Covid patient who's stopped breathing--the second time I've administered CPR on a Covid patient in two days. I don't feel gentle when I'm wrestling with a patient and begging for them to keep their oxygen mask on. When I have to hold them down and hold them still so my coworker can draw a blood sample. I don't feel gentle when I'm inserting a nasogastric tube down someone's nose, then throat, and into their belly while they're gagging around the tube and their arms are flailing. And I don't feel gentle when I'm washing a sacral wound with bleach and they're crying because it hurts. I don't feel gentle when I have to shout, beg, and plead for patients to listen, when I tell patients they're going to die if they don't keep their oxygen mask on. I don't feel gentle when I have to place a patient in restraints, or when I call a family member and tell them that their loved one's condition hasn't improved. I don't feel gentle when a patient tells me they can't breathe, they can't breathe, I can't breathe, and I'm yelling for coworkers to call the doctor while I'm cycling through different oxygen masks and trying to administer medication to slow their respirations and calm their anxiety.
I'm writing this because I feel like I've been living a little bit behind a veneer on here, although I know deep down that's not really true; I have always wanted my blog to feel like a positive space for anyone and everyone, including myself. I come here to have fun and destress and that's why you usually don't see me reblogging content having to do with politics or global news. I think it's possible to create a healthy space where one does talk about those things and spreads awareness for important causes, but for me, Tumblr is where I come when I need to escape the harsh realities of real life. This is my platform where I can indulge in my fictional proclivities and interests, where I can appreciate art, photography, beautiful writing, my favorite films, music, and cute animals. That's what this space is about. I also have loved meeting new people and getting to know my readers and making new friends and chatting about my stories. That's why I'm here and I thank you all so, so much for indulging me in my passions and for encouraging my writing the way that you have: it has helped me weather the current storm of stress I am feeling in more ways than I could possibly convey.
But I have to be very honest with you all about how much I've been struggling lately, as I feel like I'm reaching a breaking point and I'm somewhat at a loss for how to handle it.
Since September of last year, I've been on an accelerated track to finish the degree I'm working towards, which is a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. I've been a nurse for four years, but I graduated from a two-year nursing program versus a four-year program because I wanted to get into the field earlier than some of my peers, which has been great. Anyway, my school counselor/mentor and I agreed that I could obtain my BSN in a year if I really pushed myself. The program I'm in is self-paced, which has been both a blessing and a curse. Most of my classes I have finished in about three to four weeks. Other classes, like biochemistry, took substantially longer, about seven or eight weeks, if I remember correctly. All of the classes have relied on my ability to self-teach, as there are no scheduled lectures to attend, only assigned readings and videos to watch, if you choose to do so. Fast forward to the end of May, when I went to visit some family, and, upon my return home, really started to lose some of my motivation to complete my classes. I was meant to finish my program in August (this month) but agreed with my mentor that I would take a short break and put my last three classes on hold so that I could resume the program in September. I've enjoyed approximately a month off from school, but "enjoyed" is a term I use loosely here as I was also picking up extra shifts at work because we've been so short staffed and losing nurses left and right.
Which brings me to the main cause of my stress. This pandemic has completely changed the landscape for how I administer care to my patients, and the stress of the care itself has been so utterly overwhelming at times I can hardly bear it. I broke down in tears at work on Sunday morning, shortly after 4:30 am, right there at the the nurse's station, and was sobbing so hard that my supervisor had to pull me away so that I could have some privacy. I wish I could tell you that I sobbed harder than I have in a long time--but I had sobbed at work with that same intensity just four weeks prior, only, I had been alone at the time. It's becoming a trend--I either cry at work or I cry at home--because the stress of this job has become unbearable.
I wish--I desperately wish--I could convey to you the seriousness of Covid. I think so much of the world has already decided to move on from it because they're so tired of having to deal with it and, quite simply, are ready to return to normal. I don't even know what normal is anymore and when--or if--we'll ever be able to return to it. And that has caused me a fair amount of stress and anxiety in and of itself. I miss traveling so much and I don't know when I'll be able to do it again. I haven't seen one of my best friends since the fall of 2018 for this reason, which kills me.
I've seen so much death. Transferred so many patients to the PCU and ICU. Frantically chased patients' oxygen saturation, trying to keep them from circling the drain. Being responsible for six or seven human lives at one time is a stress you cannot fathom unless you have done it yourself. I have cried with a patient, a young woman, who had lost her husband to Covid only hours before in the ER, a young woman who was now faced with battling Covid herself but also planning the funeral of her high school sweetheart from her hospital bed. I have wheeled a patient to the ICU so that he could say one final goodbye to his wife--married for over 50 years--before they pulled the plug and removed her from the ventilator. I have raced down the hallway with my patient on BIPAP, pushing his bed to the ICU and praying that he doesn't stop breathing on the way there. I've had to console crying family members over the phone who are worried about their loved ones, not to mention my crying coworkers who are as overwhelmed as I am. These are just a handful of experiences from the past month alone. There are so many more.
The discomfort of my job has become secondary. I expect, now, to be wearing an N95 for a full twelve or thirteen-hour shift because there isn't time to take it off. Not having a chance to pee or go to the bathroom during that time. Not drinking any water until I'm in my car and taking off my mask and finally taking a deep breath.
On a more personal note, I am continuing to lose weight and it's so discouraging. In high school I used to wear a size 2 or 4. Now, depending on the brand, I wear a double 00. My hair is falling out because of my stress. I haven't slept during the night in... I don't even know how long. I'm constantly tired. Exhaustion hits me like a great tidal wave and I am powerless to stop it. I expect now to crash during the middle of the day on my couch, only to wake up at 11pm and be wide awake for the rest of the night, and, if not wide awake, then in an out of nightmares and sleep paralysis. I have thought about leaving my job, but the idea of job hunting during a pandemic, and while I'm in school... it just makes me feel even more stressed.
I need a break, but it feels like there's nowhere to go to escape. I fantasize about some great adventure, going somewhere I've never been, but I also really miss my family and I'm scared to go home to visit.
This post doesn't really have a conclusive ending. I'm just exhausted and overwhelmed. Any prayers/thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
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kireijae · 4 years ago
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rock, paper, scissors- n.jm
summary: some cute cabin weekend fluff!
genre: best friends to lovers au, fluff, humor
warnings: swearing, mention of throw up
words: 2,496
a/n: i’ve read quite a few like cabin weekend fics and so i thought i’d write my own! also i definitely don’t think hyuck would act like this irl i just needed some crack energy in this thing.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
You huffed as you opened the creaky wooden door to the cabin. The air inside was slightly musty and all the windows and curtains were closed upon first glance.
You dragged yours and Haechan’s luggage (he’d won one of the rounds of rock paper scissors in the car ride over) into the cabin, setting it down on the first surface you found.
You turned around to find a very pale looking Haechan who was standing in the doorway, “You look like shit.”
“I breathed,” Haechan whined and pathetically stomped his foot on the ground, “But to be honest I do feel horrible.”
“Yeah, it’s from the fucking milk you drank,” came Jaemin’s voice from the doorway behind Haechan, “I told you not to drink the random milk you found in my car.”
“I lost rock, paper, scissors! I had to do it!”
“You suggested it, though,” you quipped, opening the curtains in the living room, “I told you it was a bad idea. And now you’re going to be sick the rest of the trip.”
“You sound like my mom,” Haechan retorted, lying down on the old brown couch, face squished against the leather.
“Yeah, I feel like her too,” you said, brows furrowing as you looked out the window, “Guys I think that storm is gonna be worse than they said...”
“Hm?” Jaemin made his way behind you to look out the window as well. The clouds were dark and sagging on the horizon and the wind seemed to be picking up fast.
“I’ll tell the others not to come unless we say so, they might get caught in the storm,” said Jaemin, his eyes still trained on the clouds as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.
“Eomma! We’re gonna die in here!” wailed Haechan, a smile immediately replacing the distressed look on his face when you glared at him.
“You said this place had a backup generator,” you said, sitting down on the couch next to him.
“It does, my grandma had someone around here come make sure it was working the other day,” as soon as Haechan finished his sentence his face scrunched up in disgust.
“You are not about to throw u-“
Haechan interrupted Jaemin’s words when he jumped up and ran down the corridor to what you assumed was the bathroom.
Jaemin tried to hide the giant smile that was pushing at his lips as you facepalmed.
“Why did you have that milk in your car anyway?” you looked up at him in question.
“Well it was strawberry flavoured, so I’m pretty sure it’s not even mine,” Jaemin said seriously.
You sighed and stood up to go check on Haechan. You found him lying starfish on a bed in the only room with an ensuite bathroom.
“You okay now?” you asked, sitting beside him and placing your hand on his forehead.
“I think the milk was a bad idea,” he said, not looking you in the eyes.
“Yeah, bub, I think so too,” you tried your hardest not to laugh at him, “Get under the covers I’ll bring you some water.”
After getting Haechan some water and finding him asleep when you got back, you and Jaemin settled in, each choosing the last two rooms with a double bed.
It was 7pm and the storm had already started knocking at the windows of the cabin. Your nerves were beginning to shake and gitter along with the trees outside. You tried to calm yourself down by watching some videos on your phone, but when a knock came from the door to your room, you jumped.
“Y/n?” you saw Jaemin’s wide eyes and glossy black hair peaking out from behind the door, “Will you help me make the bibimbap?”
You felt your heart beating in your chest from the fright you’d gotten, “Yeah sure, what do you need me to do?”
The two of you walked down the passage together, “Just cut up the vegetables for me, please?”
Soon the kitchen was filled with sizzling sounds and light music waving through the air, as well as the occasional and odd sound effects made by Jaemin. All of it was enough to distract you from the wailing of the wind outside.
You were in the middle of cutting the cucumber when Jaemin spoke up without turning away from the stove, “Taste this?”
You stood up and rounded the counter to stand next to him, he turned to you and held the metal chopsticks out, the meat balancing precariously between them, and he cupped his hand below it.
You ate it and smiled, eyes glossy from the slight heat of it. His food always was your favourite.
“Good?” he asked, eyes wide and his eyebrows knitted together in worry.
“Very, very good,” you said once you swallowed the food.
He smiled at you, the frown melting from his brow. His cheeks were slightly rosey from the heat of the stove and you could see how long his eyelashes were. It suddenly hit you that you were staring at him and you were standing way too close for comfort.
You couldn’t bring yourself to move, though, you’d never realised how much you liked looking at him until now. Your heart fluttered when you saw his gaze drop down from your eyes to your lips like a small child unhesitatingly jumping off a rock at the beach.
You were about to inch closer to him until a loud crack made your body almost cave in on itself from fright. Your hands came near your face in fists and your eyes were crinkled shut.
You felt Jaemin’s arms wrap around you and he pulled you to him in order to calm you down.
“Scared of storms?” there was no judgement in his voice, only warmth.
“Not usually- just when the windows start to shake,” you huffed out a small laugh against the material of his shirt.
“Hey, it’s okay, I got a fright too,” he said as his hand went to stroke your hair. Then after a beat, “I think the food’s about ready.”
You took that as your cue to let go of his waist which you hadn’t realised you’d wound your arms around, but not before he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head.
Once he’d dished up the food, you took a bowl of it to the room Haechan was in, but turned around when you heard loud snores before you even opened the door.
“Still asleep?” asked Jaemin from his place on the couch, bowl in hand.
“Yup, and snoring. Very loudly,” you laughed and took your seat next to Jaemin.
The two of you ate in a comfortable silence, a random cooking show mumbling away on the tv in front of you.
After you’d both finished your food, you put on a movie you’d been wanting to watch for a while and Jaemin got some musty smelling blankets from a cupboard in the passage.
It was about 11pm when you started to drift off, you and Jaemin had wound up entangled together under the blankets. Your head had dropped down onto his shoulder and your eyelids were growing heavy.
Jaemin turned his head to the side when he felt you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. His soft chuckle woke you up, the bobbing of his shoulder being enough to catch your attention.
You opened your eyes lazily and felt your pupils adjust to the dark room, only to be met with Jaemin’s features mere inches from yours. The left side of his face had dancing lights and colours from the tv and the right was shaded in darkness. You had no more time to take in the view, though, because suddenly his lips met with yours lightly.
That had you wide awake. Your heart surged upwards in your chest and you reached for his soft cheek to bring him closer to you.
After a measly few seconds, the kiss was interrupted, much to your distaste, by the loud sounds of Haechan grumbling and dragging his feet down the passage.
The two of you pulled away from the kiss and from each other, you scooted as far away from him as you could. The scene was almost comical; the blanket you still shared had been pulled taut between the two of you.
“Did you leave any food for me?” Haechan asked in a half asleep daze.
Your chest was heaving and you didn’t trust your voice to answer for you, so you pointed behind him to the fridge in the kitchen in answer.
You were wide eyed as you gazed back at the tv, body rigid with your arms shrunken into your sides. You heard a light snort from next to you which prompted your head to look in Jaemin’s direction.
He was facing the tv, his oversized grey hoodie bunched around his torso and arms and his heart melting smile etched onto his face.
For the past few months you’d liked that smile a little too much- you’d liked everything about him a little too much. The thought of him possibly feeling the same brought even more blood to your already red cheeks.
“Scootch over,” Haechan’s voice pierced the little bubble you’d been in.
You made a dissatisfied face and moved back towards Jaemin again and when you placed your hand next to his leg in order to support your moving body, you felt his arm come around your shoulders. You cast your eyes down to the leather material of the couch and felt your cheeks warm up again.
Haechan paid Jaemin’s actions no mind; skinship being something you shared often with your whole group. His face was also practically buried in the bowl of food and only lifted when he heard a particularly loud gust of wind hit the window across from him.
Soon enough the adrenaline in your body dissipated and you began to fall asleep on Jaemin’s shoulder again.
“I think you should take her to bed,” Haechan whisper-yelled when he noticed you weren’t making comments on the movie anymore.
“And what about you?” came Jaemin’s voice from above you. The sound mixed with the slight rumble of his voice in his chest made you stir again.
“I just had a milk-induced coma,” was the next thing you heard from Haechan. He said it in a flat tone and it made Jaemin’s chest bubble beneath you in laughter.
“Nae sarang,” the term of endearment made you open your eyes again- more due to shock than from waking up. “It’s pretty late, I think we should both sleep.”
You nodded wordlessly and stood up, Jaemin catching the blanket that fell from your lap.
“G’night, Haechannie,” you said as you passed in front of him, ruffling his hair with your hand.
“Mm,” he hummed, “Sleep well.”
You wished him a good night’s sleep as well and walked towards the passage, but stopped when you heard Jaemin cooing at the other boy, “Haechannie! Are you feeling better now after your naptime? Saranghae- Ow!”
You giggled at the sight of Haechan manoeuvring Jaemin back onto the couch and sitting on the poor boy. After pulling them apart, you proceeded to your room where you got changed into pyjamas and lay down under the covers.
There was one problem now, though, despite the decent quality mattress and the perfect temperature of the room, you couldn’t seem to fall asleep. The storm outside was still raging and your fear of it kept you up, staring at the ceiling for goodness knows how long.
There was a tug in your heart for comfort. The kind of comfort you’d felt earlier in front of the tv with Jaemin, and before that in the kitchen and months ago when he’d held your hands when you said they were cold. You sighed at the feelings and memories, deciding your pride was far less important than your need for comfort.
Soon you found yourself standing outside Jaemin’s room, your hand knocking on the door before you could think better of it.
You heard a soft “hello?” from the other side and slowly peaked your head into the dark room. You were surprised to see Jaemin’s phone lighting up his features in a blue hue, his hair was a fluffy mess on his head and he was resting with his head half way down the headboard.
He looked at you with his big eyes and you nearly melted, “I couldn’t sleep. The storm is…” you trailed off, not wanting to admit to being afraid.
Without a word, Jaemin lifted up one side of the blanket to welcome you. You smiled a small smile and crawled under the covers, your head instinctually resting on Jaemin’s arm. He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close.
You felt him lean over to put his phone on the nightstand and shuffle down in the bed to lay his head on the pillow.
“Comfy?” he asked, voice light and feathery.
You hummed in response, your heartbeat and breathing had already slowed down enough for you to begin dozing off for the third time that night.
“We leave them alone for one night…” was the first thing you heard the next morning. It took a moment for you to register that it was Jeno, standing in the doorway wearing a thick black coat.
“When did you get here?” came Jaemin’s voice from behind you, you could hear that his face was scrunched from stretching.
“Hyuck called me last night after the storm calmed down,” Jeno leaned on the wall, looking at Jaemin.
“What time was that?” you asked, finally able to understand your own thoughts.
“At like 12,” said Renjun, head popping into the room before the rest of him followed.
“Junnie!” you yelled, holding your arms out to him and making grabby hands.
Renjun practically ran and fell backwards onto you, you put your arms around him and squeezed.
“Who’s making breakfast?” asked Jaemin, his arms completely removed from you now.
“Rock, paper, scissors?” you suggested, raising your eyebrows at him in question.
He nodded, “Rock, paper, scissors!”
It took a few tries, but eventually you and Renjun lost and decided to cook together.
“I’m guessing you haven’t gotten over your little crush on Jaemin?” asked Renjun as he cracked eggs into a pan.
It was just the two of you in the kitchen, everyone else either unpacking or playing switch in the lounge.
“I don’t think I have to,” you mumbled, cutting up tofu, “He kissed me last night.”
Renjun turned around in shock, but before he could answer you heard your name being called.
“I’ll tell you the details later, Jun,” you got up from your place at the counter and peeked out the kitchen and into the lounge, where Mark sat in horror looking at Haechan.
He then turned to you, eyes wide and mouth half open, “He drank fucking what?!”
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drawlfoy · 4 years ago
Text
Mirror, Mirror Finale P.2
masterlist  request guidelines
pairing: draco x ravenclaw reader
request: yes very highly requested lol
summary: despite never speaking before, y/n has a big crush on draco malfoy, a particularly broody and obnoxious slytherin. what will happen when they finally have to start associating? and what if they run into a certain mirror that shows you what you truly desire?
warnings: cursing!
a/n: so ik i said this was gonna be out later this week but i love you guys too much! here it is...the final part of mirror, mirror! it’s weird to finally finish a series like this but ohhhh boy here we are
taglist: @theres-a-dog-outside-omg @mey-rapp @kaibie @blackpinkdolan @the-wiener-soldierrrrr @sugarbby99 @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop
word count: 2.1k
“About time you got off your arse.”
“Hello to you too, Rena,” Y/N sighed as she dropped her satchel on her bed. Her roommate watched, bemused, as she began to unpack her things. 
“How are you?” she asked, her voice noticeably softer. “I really missed you. We were all worried sick, you know.”
Y/N snorted, tossing her wrinkled robes on the bed and making a mental note to spell them neat later. “I do know. Madame Pomfrey was going to kill me for how many times she had to tell you to leave me and let me rest.” 
Rena’s eyes sparkled.
“I’m fine, thank you,” said Y/N. “I missed you too.”
The two sat in silence for a bit as the cold afternoon breeze wafted into their room, carrying the smell of fresh snow in. 
“So, anything exciting happen? Did anyone tell you anything….interesting?”
“No.” Y/N was about to turn back to her work before she caught the mischievous expression on Rena’s face. “What? Why?”
“Nothing,” she sang. “I’m just wondering. I have to catch up with my best friend, you know. It’s been forever.”
“It’s been the whole of four days.”
“It’s been forever,” she restated, jumping up and spinning Y/N around (who couldn’t help but allow a slow grin to spread across her face). 
“I was going crazy in there.” Y/N’s voice was considerably more serious. “I never told you, but--” she chose to ignore the look of anticipation written all over Rena’s face, “--Malfoy talked to me. And he was so nice to me, it was we--”
“That COWARD!” 
The outburst started Y/N, who dropped her things on the floor in shock. “I’m sorry? Rena, what happened?”
“I can’t tell you,” said Rena, her tone dutiful and mournful. “It’s not my place. Anyways, what did that loser do?”
“Er,” began Y/N, “I don’t know how much of it was real or if it was because I was on pain potion, but he and I--I don’t know, flirted? There was a lot of banter, and before he knew it he pulled me off the ground--”
“You were on the ground?”
“--he pulled me off the ground and picked the gravel out of my palms.” Y/N swallowed as she recounted the instance. She’d never seen him look so soft before. “He said he had something he wanted to tell me, and his voice got all strange.”
“And then?” 
“And then Madame Pomfrey came to yell at me and basically--oh god, Rena, she basically told him that I dreamt of him!”
Rena snorted with laughter. “Shit, dude. I don’t think you should worry, though. You’d think any bloke with half a brain would’ve figured out that you were obsessed with him by now.”
“Shut up.” Y/N’s face was hot. “Anyways, I haven’t seen him since. I’d prefer if we could stop talking about this.”
“Sure, sure.” She took in a breath. “Wait, what about rounds? Don’t you still have to see him?”
“No. Flitwick told me I’m off. At least until next month.” If she sped through the thought, it didn’t hurt as much.
“Ending of a chapter, huh? How are you feeling about that?”
Y/N sighed. “Honestly, Rena, I love you, you know I do, but I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Okay? It’s over.”
If her words carried any deeper meaning to Rena, she didn’t show it. “Lighten up, girly. Maybe it’s not.”
“All I’ve done is make a fool of myself,” lamented Y/N, throwing her empty satchel in the closet and collapsing onto her bed. “I’m just going to go back to what everything was before. This hasn’t changed anything. Now, Rena, I have a Potions exam to study for.”
“Whatever floats your boat.”
~
Her interactions with Draco were few and far between in the following weeks. Sometimes she caught a few glimpses of a pale blonde head of hair as she walked down the halls to her classes, but nothing concrete, nothing even close to the amount of interaction they had while she was still bound to her rounds. 
It was certainly a punch in the gut--after all, she did spend a good portion of her academic career thirsting over him--but the sensible part of her knew that this was for the better. Her schoolwork became her top priority again, just like it had been the years before she was assigned to be his partner.
So, given this pattern of communication, it was fair to say that Y/N was completely and utterly flabbergasted when she saw Draco waiting by the entry of her common room at 11pm one night.
“Can I help you?” she asked as she shifted the books in her satchel to be secured over her shoulder.
“Yes, actually,” he said smoothly, not tripping over his words in the slightest. “I have rounds tonight.”
“I’m aware.” She hoped that he couldn’t hear her heart pounding the way that it was.
“And I’m out of Wide-eye potion.” 
“That really sucks,” Y/N said as she held up her hand on the door of the common room, uttering the riddle’s answer under her breath before she stepped in. 
“Wait!” His voice turned her around--it was pleading, almost desperate. “I have an exam tomorrow. No one in Slytherin has any. Snape would kick my arse for waking him up now. I know you have some left over since you never finished the rounds, and I--I understand if you don’t want to but it doesn’t have a very good shelf life anyways and I was hoping you’d...that you’d be alright with giving it to me.”
She paused, completely stunned. The most hopeful part of her wondered if he had made this up, but she squelched this with a force that nearly knocked the wind out of her. “Fine. Come with me, you must be freezing outside.” 
Y/N wasn’t wrong--the weather had taken a turn in the past few days to be bitterly cold--but it wasn’t like she’d object seeing him for any longer. She mentally cursed herself for being so weak-willed.
Draco looked pleasantly surprised at the suggestion and stepped into the common room with her, following her up until she reached the base of the stairs. “I’ll wait here.”
“If you’re comfortable,” she began, “I’d honestly prefer if you came with me. I don’t want to explain to anyone why I let you into our common room unsupervised.”
He looked like his mind was buffering the information for a second, standing with a glazed look in his eyes before he sucked in a breath and became the picture of confidence once again. “Want me in your room that bad?”
Yes.
“You wish.”
He scoffed as they climbed the stairs, Y/N a few steps above him. She thought that if she maintained the space he wouldn’t see how hard she was shaking and wondered where Rena was. Studying with Hermione like she told her she was? She hoped.
Y/N stopped in front of her door at the very end of the hall, decorated with a banner that had their names displayed in glittering bronze letters that moved in the light. “Ok. You can come in with me if you want--it might be a couple minutes since I don’t quite remember where it is.”
He looked amused with himself as she got out her wand and attempted to unlock her door with the specialized charm she and Rena had decided upon. Mortifyingly enough, her hand was too shaky to execute it.
“Hey, hey,” Draco tutted, holding his hand out. It enveloped hers and held her wand still as she muttered the incantation, unlocking the door and swinging it open. 
“Er...thanks,” she said. His hand was still over hers. 
Y/N broke the eye contact to dart through the door to a thankfully dark and empty room--if Rena had seen that, she never would’ve let her hear the end of that--and began rifling through her drawers as Draco shut the door and examined her room.
“You’re flustered,” he noted as she tipped over one of her candlesticks and just barely managed to catch it. “Is everything okay? Trouble in paradise, little Ravenclaw?”
“Like you care.” Y/N shut the desk drawer with an audible BANG. “And don’t call me that. Rowena Ravenclaw is rolling in her grave hearing you infantilize her good name like that.”
Draco laughed from his stance by her door--a sound that she hated to admit that she really missed. “I take back what I said. You certainly sound like yourself.”
Y/N’s fingers finally closed around the last bottle of Wide-Eye, which was quickly tossed to Draco. “Happy now?”
He sent her a strangely weak smile as he slipped the vial into his pocket, no doubt silk lined and expensive. “Sure. So this is goodbye? Actually?”
“I think...I think so.” 
Y/N had moved closer to him so only about a foot stood between them, a distance that felt like a mile from where she stood. 
This is goodbye.
Draco was making a motion to turn around and open the door when Y/N experienced the most severe lapse of judgement in the entirety of her 17 years.
She sprung forward, her fingers curling around the satiny soft fabric of his tie and pulling. Her motion was rough enough that he jolted forward, his eyes wide with surprise as Y/N closed in and pressed her lips to his in a very chaste and ungraceful movement. 
The split second that it took for her to realize the consequences of her actions was enough for her to let go completely and jump away, apologies readily falling out of her mouth in disjointed and clumsy collections. 
“I’m so sorry...Oh my god...I have no idea what got into me...Draco, I--”
Before she could finish, his hands were already cupping her face, his frame bent down the slightest so he could be more level with her. And he was--oh--he was kissing her, actually properly this time, without the tense closed-offness of her first attempt.
When Y/N imagined what it was like to kiss Draco Malfoy, she didn’t imagine him to be so soft. Or warm. Or gentle, or pliant, or whatever other good things he was to her as he snaked her arms around her and held her tight to him.
His kisses turned feverish, almost desperate as he turned her so she was pressed up between him and the wall. Everywhere his hands touched felt charged with electricity and energy, and as his hands traveled up and down her spine she decided that this must be what it’s like to die of happiness. 
“Draco,” she managed in between kisses, pulling away for air for just a moment and sliding back down so her feet touched the floor again. “Can we talk? About this?”
“Thanks,” he responded, his eyes glittering with endearment. “I almost forgot you were a Ravenclaw.”
“Shut up.” 
He grinned but made no effort to step away from her, instead choosing to drag his fingers up and down the side of her exposed neck. “What’s there to talk about? I like you, you like me, there’s nothing we need to do to complicate this further.”
“You...you what?”
“Yes, genius, what else did you think I was planning on telling you that day in the courtyard,” Draco said. “I’ve been avoiding you because I thought you were over me. That was horribly embarrassing, you know. Had to nurse my ego for weeks before I could garner up the courage to speak to you again.” He stopped to gently press the pad of his thumb into the little dimple she had in her left cheek, smiling uncontrollably as he moved his hand back to cup her face.
“How was I supposed to know that?” argued Y/N. 
“Isn’t this supposed to be the smart house?” he teased. 
She slapped his shoulder. “Don’t make me decide I don’t like you anymore.”
“Oh, so you admit it?”
“Admit what?”
“That you like me?”
“I’m going to scream.”
“Just from kissing me? Wow, I must be good.”
“I mean it!”
“So do I!”
Y/N gazed up at the boy in front of her for a few beats, admiring how the moonlight bounced off the silvery strands of his hair and how his smile reached every corner of his face. 
“I take back what I said,” she told him.
“Oh, and what is that?”
“This isn’t goodbye.”
He smiled again, leaning in close so his lips barely brushed her ear. “No. No, it isn’t.”
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scvrllet · 4 years ago
Text
the inevitable / r.b
Pairing: Regulus Black x Fem!Reader
Summary: Defying the Dark Lord never ends well, you and Regulus learned this from experience
Warning(s): death, brief mention of torture, angst but with a fluffy ending (you’re welcome, we all know I usually would’ve left it angsty)
Words: 3k+
Prompt: “Run away with me, it’ll be worth it.” will be in bold
This is for @obsessedwithrandomthings‘ writing challenge (congrats again on 500 followers!) 
A/N: I cannot write fluff I’m so sorry if you cringe. Also I’m posting this at nearly 11pm so idek if anyones gonna see this
General HP Taglist: @summer-writes @lunaralpha270 @tinylumpiaa @slytherin-chaser @bloodblossom73 @peachesandpinks @mischiefsemimanaged @accio-rogers @iamak20 @klaus-m-trash
Permanent Taglist: @sleep-i-ness @emmaloo21 @62442-am @flowersgrewbackasth0rns @imintoodeeptostop
Regulus stood hunched over the basin. The green glow of the remaining potion acting as a cruel reminder of what remaining torture he has to go through. Kreacher stood in front of him with a goblet in his hands. Regulus nodded and gulped down the potion, feeling the burning sensation as it went down.
He’s only had a few sips and so far, have only felt like his insides were on fire. As uncomfortable and painful it was, he forced himself to take more until his surroundings seemed to change.
(Y/N)?” He rasped as his vision started to focus on the figure sprawled out in front of him. When his vision finally focused, that was when he started screaming and scrambled to get up. Kreacher quickly dropped the goblet back into the basin and went to hold back his master who was mumbling stuff under his breath.
“Master Black, you must drink the potion.”
“(Y/N)! She’s there! Kreacher let go of me, she’s going to die!”
“Master Black, (Y/N) isn’t there. You must drink the potion.”
By this point Kreacher had to force the boy to take the potion and he hated every single second of it. Hearing his Master’s cries and protests to save someone who wasn’t there. Kreacher only hoped that they’d be out of here soon.
Taking more of the potion only made the visions worse. He kept seeing you, then Sirius, then the both of you laying in front of him. The two of you, dead before him just before the vision changed again. This time, Regulus recognized it as a memory. It was the first time he had gotten into a fight with you. 
“I just don’t see why you’re so worked up on this (Y/N). I’ll be fine, just because my family supports him doesn’t mean I’ll become a Death Eater.” Regulus said, his tone laced with annoyance as he lied straight to your face. 
“Than run away with me, it’ll be worth it. I promise. You won’t have to worry about Voldemort or your family. It’ll only be us. Just say the word, take my hand and we’ll go.” You pleaded desperately 
It hurt him to see you so stressed over him and it hurt even more that he was lying to you. He was already branded with the Dark Mark but he just didn’t know how to tell you. He didn’t even know if he wanted to tell you. 
“No, (Y/N), I can’t. He’ll find us, find me somehow. That will only put us into more danger.” Again, lies spilled out from his mouth. 
Regulus now wondered if he had taken your hand, would have things turned out differently.
When the potion was finally gone, Kreacher quickly grabbed the locket and switched it for the one Regulus had brought that contained the letter.
“Water. I need water.” Regulus mumbled, looking around the cave before crawling towards the dark lake surrounding the island they were standing on.
“Master Black no!” Kreacher protested but it was too late.
Immediately after Regulus and cupped his hands into the water to bring some to his lips, white ghastly hands had started to crawl out from the water. Several of them from all sides of the island. It was as if they were waiting for him.
By the time Kreacher made it to Regulus’ side, the inferi were already dragging him towards the water and they both knew that there was nothing that could be done. Before he was pulled under the water, he gave Kreacher one last order, fighting to stay above the water for even just a few more seconds.
“Go! Don’t tell my family anything, and give the letter to (Y/N). Protect her at all cost and destroy the locket”
The House elf nodded and with a guilty expression, appeared out of the cave and back to 12 Grimmauld Place. The sounds of his Master’s screams and cries echoing in his head as he appeared into the home that felt colder than usual. He quickly called for his master’s owl and gave it the letter. “To Hogwarts, to Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” 
---
Mail at Hogwarts was usually delivered during breakfast unless it was considered urgent, then it’d be delivered straight to the recipient’s dorm.
You were sitting on the edge of your one of your dorm-mates bed when a pecking noise was heard from outside the window. It was one of your other dorm-mates who decided to open the window after you waved it off as a tree branch on the window. 
“It’s not a branch (Y/N),why would there be a branch here? Anyways, it’s a letter for you.” They said as they handed you the letter. 
The second you grabbed it from her hand your brows raised as you recognized the Black family crest stamped in the middle of it, sealing the envelope shut. “Regulus?” you mumbled as you got up to go sit on your own bed. 
For the past month you noticed that he was acting differently and just a week ago he apparently left school. You just assumed that his parents needed him home for some urgent business and that was why he didn’t tell you anything. He was a busy boy after all. 
Breaking the seal on the envelope you took out the piece of parchment which was written in black ink. Your heart swells as you read what was written in it.
My little dove, 
If you’re reading this then it means that I have been killed. I’m sorry I’ve kept you in the dark about this but I found out something about Voldemort. He’s created this thing called a Horcrux. He’s not human, not anymore. For the past month I’ve been trying to figure out where to find it and possibly destroy it. I know that you’d probably scold me for doing a suicide mission but that’s now why I haven’t told you anything. It’s because I know you’d join me and do anything and everything so that I could live but I can’t let that happen. I’m ashamed to be a part of this family and shamed to have waited so long before finally realizing how horrible it actually is. 
There isn’t much time. I’m writing this the night before I go to the cave with Kreacher. Hopefully he is able to destroy the Horcrux and he’ll be mortal once again. 
Also, another thing. Please don’t tell my family anything or anyone in general, especially Sirius. If they ask about me just say you don’t know. Sirius would go out of his way to try and kill him and as much as I miss him, he’s safer with the Potters. Or at least I hope. 
I love you (Y/N), I always have and always will. Not even death can stop me, I promise. 
Yours forever,  Regulus Arcturus Black.
P.S.
Please don’t rush to see me again. We will meet again when your time comes but for now, your time is far from near. Don’t rush it darling, it’s not a race to the end. I love you forever. 
You didn’t notice the tears that fell from your eyes until one landed on the letter you were now gripping tightly. Your dorm-mates had paused their conversation and were now at the edge of your bed looking at you with worried expressions. 
“What’s wrong?” One of them asked.
“N-nothing.” You lied. 
They either believed it or knew better than to pressure you into saying anything. They simply just nodded and quickly left the dorm to give you your space which you silently thanked them for. When the door closed behind them you fell back onto the bed, your head buried into your pillow as your sobs filled the room. The letter clutched tightly in your arms until you had fallen asleep. 
When you woke up the next morning you immediately sat up to make sure that no one had taken the letter and read it. You sighed in relief when it was still in your hands and hid it before getting ready for the day. Getting ready as if you hadn’t just found out that the love of your life was killed the day before. No one could find out. 
You were thankful that there was only a week left before the Christmas holidays. Though you had plans to meet with Regulus over the break, you would now be spending them grieving a boy that no one but you and Kreacher knew had passed.  You only hoped that the week would end quickly. 
---
Kreacher greeted you at the door. 12 Grimmauld Place felt colder and lonelier than ever as you stepped inside. 
The House Elf led you to the Drawing Room where a yellow locket rested on a table. You looked back at Kreacher who nodded, already knowing what you were going to ask. 
“So this was the Dark Lord’s Horcrux, Salazar Slytherin’s locket.” You thought to yourself as you picked it up to examine it. 
“Kreacher has not been able to destroy it.” The old House Elf croaked. 
“And why would Kreacher do such a thing?” A voice said suddenly from behind the two of you. You instinctively grabbed your wand, ready to defend yourself and Kreacher but as you turned around two spells were shot towards you. The locket along with your wand dropped to the ground and a third spell was aimed at your chest, causing you to stumble and fall onto your back. 
Kreacher tried to intervene but with a wave of their wand, the attacker who you have yet to get a clear look at, sent the House Elf flying into the closest wall. By the time he was on his feet, the attacker was standing by your side and harshly grabbed your shoulder before apparating out of the house. Kreacher stood there for a moment, taking in the fact that he had failed his Master not just once but twice. 
“My Lord, this is the girl.” Your attacker said, they bowed at the tall dark figure who stood before them and that was when you finally recognized who it was. Bellatrix Lestrange, Regulus’s cousin who was an extremely loyal Death Eater to the Dark Lord. It was said that she was even obsessed with him and you wondered how twisted someone must be to be obsessed with a man like him.
“And where is the locket?” The figure, who you assumed was the Dark Lord, asked. His voice was calm which surprised you. You expected him to sound colder, cruel even. 
“I-I didn’t see it.” Was Bellatrix’s reply which caused the Dark Lord to finally turn around. 
“Well then, why don’t we ask our guest then.” He suggested as he slowly stepped closer towards you. Crouching down in front of you, he placed two fingers under your chin and lifted your head up so that you were looking him in the eye. 
You were once told that the Dark Lord was actually an attractive young man while studying at Hogwarts. Many girls fawned over him but he paid them no mind. He seemed to have his own gang of ‘friends’ who ended up to be his very first Death Eaters. No one would have thought that the he would have rose to power at such an early age. Over the years, as he started to become a dark wizard was when his features started to look less human but they were subtle. From a glance you would have assumed that he was just another wizard but upon closer inspection you noticed the subtle snake-like features. 
“Now, have you seen a yellow locket? More specifically, one that shouldn’t have been touched from the start.”He asked you calmly, a wicked smirk on his lips as he watched you try to appear calm. 
“No.” You lied through gritted teeth. 
His smirk seemed to grow as he let go from your chin. “Liar!” He seethed as he stood up straight. 
He turned to Bellatrix who stood behind you and you felt your heart drop to your stomach when you heard him say, “Bella, do as you please.”
The sounds of his footsteps retreating echoed through the dimly lit room and when the door behind him closed shut you prayed, prayed for some sort of God or deity to spare you from what you knew was going to come. 
“Looks like we are going to have some fun.” She said in a sickly sweet tone before grabbing her wand and pulling you up by your shoulder. 
It felt like hours had gone by as you laid on the cold ground, not you minded. You liked the cold ground. It was better than Bellatrix’s wand burning into your skin or the cruciatus curse that felt like white-hot knives piercing your skin. 
Just when you had thought it was over, the pain filled your body again. Your bones felt like they were on fire and you tried to bite back a scream. Bellatrix only giggled, seeming to love the pain she was inflicting as she rasped her wand and pointed it at you again. 
“Please.” You had managed to say. Due to the hours of torture you had just gone through you were surprised you had enough strength to even speak. 
Bellatrix lowered her wand, her eyes no longer bearing that maniac look that often filled her eyes as her expression looked more sympathetic. At this point you were far too weak to even try and figure out if this was all an act or not. A part of you told you to not get your hopes up but on the verge of death, your hopes were already far too high. 
She crouched down and leaned towards your ear, her signature smirk returning to her face as she whispered, “You should’ve told him where it was.” before one last spell shot out form her wand.
“Avada Kedavra.” 
Your body fell limp and during the last second before death greeted you, a small smile appeared on your lips as your last thoughts were of finally reuniting with Regulus. Then quicker than ever, darkness flooded your vision and you welcomed it.  
--- 
When you opened your eyes again it was no longer darkness that flooded your vision but bright white light. Once your vision adjusted you noticed you were at Kings Cross Station except it was entirely white. Even the clothes you wore were all white. Was this the afterlife? 
“He’s waiting for you.” A familiar voice said and you turned around to see your grandmother. You didn’t hesitate for a second as you ran towards her to hug her, a chuckle escaping her lips as she hugged you back. You had lost her the summer before you started Hogwarts and it pained you to not be able to tell her what you experienced there. You knew she would’ve loved to hear what you had to say but maybe now, 6 years later, you could finally tell her. 
“As much as I’d love to hear about your years at Hogwarts, I have to wait for someone else.” Your grandmother said as if she had read your mind.
“Mom...” 
“Yes my child, though worry not, it is not her time yet.” 
Silence draped itself onto the two of you as you realized that your parents had no idea that you had died. You simply told them that you were going to a friend’s house and that you’d be back for dinner but now that wouldn’t be happening. 
“They’ll be fine, don’t worry about them. What you should be worrying about is keeping him waiting.” Your grandmother said and you looked at her with a confused expression. 
“He?” You asked, not sure who she could have been referring to. She simply smiled and then it clicked in your head. Regulus.
“Take the train down three stops, get off and wait until the train is gone before getting off the platform. He’ll be there waiting for you.” With one last hug, you left your grandmother and hopped onto the train that arrived a few minutes after. You followed her instructions, getting off at the third stop and waiting until the train was fully gone before getting off of the platform. 
Getting off of the platform, you were relieved to see that everything wasn’t all white but instead, was the countryside with farm animals and a small cottage. There was a feeling inside you that wanted for you to go towards the cottage. 
“I’m already dead so what’s the worst that could happen?” You thought to yourself before heading towards the cottage. 
The closer you got the more nostalgic you felt though you couldn’t figure out how. By the time you were standing on the front door step, you could’ve sworn that you’ve seen the cottage somewhere before. 
Before you could even knock, the door swung open and a head of black curly hair immediately pulled you into their embrace. You stood there unsure of what was happening until the familiar scent of the boy you loved filled your senses. 
“Regulus...” You said softly, as if trying to confirm whether it was really him or not that was hugging you so tightly. 
He pulled away, hands no longer holding you close to him but now cupping your face. Tears filled both your eyes though neither of you knew who started crying first. 
“You’re such an idiot.” He tried joking as he buried your face in his chest. He held you close, pressing kisses into your hair as tears streamed down both your faces. 
“I love you.” You said, lifting you head up from his chest to look into his eyes that you were starting to miss. You were happy to see that they didn’t look so dull anymore.
“I love you more. But that doesn’t mean you’re not an idiot. I told you to take your time which meant not to go and try to destroy the Horcrux. I even told Kreacher to protect you but clearly-” Pulling his face closer to yours so that you could kiss him caused his lecture to abruptly stop as he melted into the kiss. 
The moment lasted for a while but ended far too quickly in your opinion as Regulus pulled away and started to lecture you again causing you to roll your eyes. 
“You can lecture me all you want but could you at least tell me why we’re here?” You stopped him mid-lecture, pointing to the area surrounding you. For some reason it felt like home.  
“This was the life you wanted when you asked me to run away with you,” He replied with a smile that quickly dropped, “I’m sorry for not taking your hand that night. Life would’ve been different, maybe even better if I had but I was scared. I’m so sorry.”
You flashed him a soft smile, pulling his face closer to yours so that you could press a kiss to his check. A blush bloomed on his cheeks and though he tried to hide it, he knew it was no use and just gave up.
The two of you stood there for a while. Not a word being scad but instead, a comforting silence as you both took in each-others appearance. It’s been a while since either of you have been able to feel this peaceful.
“So this is the other side?” You asked breaking the silence. 
“I think so yeah. Why? You don’t like it?” The smile on his face turned into a worried expression as he looked at you. His reaction caused you to laugh. Ignoring his questioning look, you placed your hand into his and leaned your head against his shoulder. 
“No no, I like it though I don’t really care where we are.” 
“And why is that?” 
“Because I have you with me.” You replied, looking up at him with a smile which he mirrored. 
“You’re such a sap.” He teased. 
“But you still love me.”
“And I always will.”
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maladaptive---daydreamer · 4 years ago
Text
No more secrets
(This is set in 6th year, no voldemort being back business)
Sunlight filtered through the dormitory windows onto your sleeping form. You had asked your older brother to teach you a charm to bewitch your windows to reflect the weather outside, growing tired for the green murk courtesy of the black lake. You fluttered your eyes, blinking the sleep from them and rolled over to check the small clock at your bedside. Despite it being the weekend your body still woke you up at 7 am like clockwork, causing you to groan in frustration and smack your bedsheets
“Some of us are trying to fall back to sleep, you know” Daphne grumbled from her bed, beside you.
“Seize the day miss Greengrass” you replied, deciding you might as well get out of bed and follow your own advice.
You kicked your sheets off and made your bed before gathering your things and heading to the prefects bathroom for a shower. You returned to the dormitory with clean hair that smelt of your apple shampoo dressed in some comfy muggle clothes you purchased. Despite their shortcomings, muggles really knew how to dress comfortably. You had stumbled across Piccadilly Circus while trying to get to Diagon Alley during the Christmas break in your fourth year while on your own. In one of the shops you had seen joggers folded on a display and just had to purchase them, they were warm and soft, perfect for cold days.
“My, my what would your pure blood ancestors say if they saw you dressed like a muggle” Daphne teased from her bed.
“Someone has to be the family disappointment don’t they” You replied, putting your clothes in the laundry basket.
“I highly doubt you’re the family disappointment, Y/N, you’re top of the class in basically everything, you’re the first prefect in your family too!” Lily said. She was easily the most positive witch in Slytherin house and hated to see you bring yourself down like that
“Well, Granger is all those things and she’s a mudblood, our parents don’t care about academics as much as you’d think they do” Pansy interjected
“Pansy, no one asked you. As I recall this was a conversation between Daphne, Lily and myself” you snapped, knowing she was attempting to remind Lily of her half-blood status.
Pansy scoffed and rolled her eyes, over the last few weeks she had really been struggling to hide her dislike for you. It didn’t bother you, Pansy was a bitch to put it quite plainly. You wondered how someone could be so venomous and be content with their life.
You began to gather your things to head to the library after breakfast. 6th year meant you and your classmates were inundated with homework from all your classes. You hoped you could get ahead of your work so you could keep Sunday free.
“It’s literally Saturday, why are you voluntarily doing work?” Daphne asked, her head barely visible from under her duvet cocoon.
“If I didn’t, who would you run to at 11pm on Sunday evening because you forgot to write your charms essay?”
“You are a true friend Y/N Y/L/N”
“Hey, Y/N,” Pansy hollered
You looked at Pansy and waited for her to speak
“If you see Draco at breakfast, you mind telling him I’ll be a bit late?”
“I don’t think he’ll care Pans” Daphne replied for you
“Oh but he will, we’re going to the library to do out potions work together”
You were about to frown but stopped yourself, Draco had promised you that the two of you would write your 3 feet of parchment together. Lily caught your eye knowing how you felt about the platinum blond.
“Sure thing Parkinson” You said, with a sickly sweet smile.
You turned on your heel and went down the stairs into the Slytherin common room, despite it being only 8.30 on a Saturday morning, the common room was densely populated with slytherin students of all ages. A small group of second years were sitting on the floor playing gobstones in your path. They looked up and paled, scrambling to move out of your way.
“Scaring second years now are we Y/L/N” The voice of your friend Blaise Zabini asked.
“Me? Of course not, Zabini, I’ll leave that to you and your friends” you replied waking out of the portrait hole
“It hurts me that you think so lowly of us” He feigned hurt as he began to walk alongside you
“I apologise for hurting your feelings”
“What would your father have to say, hearing you apologise to a half blood”
“Here’s me thinking you knew me better, you already know I don’t care for the purity of blood”
“Where are you headed to after breakfast”
“The library, I’ve got a ton of homework to do”
“Have you heard about the party the 7th years are planning?”
“Nope, not that I’m interested anyway”
“This is coming from the girl who managed to get half the quidditch team drunk off fire whiskey the last time we had a party”
“What can I say, academia looks better on me”
“I can’t say I disagree with that. You should still come, bring your friends along too, it’s been a while since we all got together.”
“I’ll see if Daphne and Lily want to come along.”
The two of you had reached the door of the Great Hall
“There you are Zabini, we’ve been waiting for ages” Draco yelled from across the room
You and Blaise walked to your normal spot on the Slytherin table. He took a seat and you stood behind the bench.
“By the way, Malfoy, Parkinson said she’ll be late. Have to do the potions essay you promised you’d do with me a bit later”
“Y/N I-”
You rolled your eyes and opted to grab some sliced of toast wrapped in some tissue and go straight to the library rather than listen to whatever excuse Draco had planned to spew out.
You settled yourself near the fireplace pulling your textbooks out and laying them around you. You managed to write your charms essay, aswell as your Defence Against the Dark Arts essay and some reading for Transfiguration. You looked up at the big clock in the library and noticed it was past two, your stomach rumbled, clearly upset at the measly breakfast of 2 slices of buttered toast and some water. You gathered all your books again and stuffed them back into your bag and headed to the kitchens. The house elves were well aware of what you preferred to eat for lunch and handed it to you wrapped in a gingham handkerchief, you settled yourself by the window eating your lunch enjoying the view over the grounds.
“Y/N”
You looked up to see the face of your academic rival.
“Hermione”
“Do you mind if I take a seat?”
You shook your head and she sat down next to you.
“I was wondering if you could help me”
“Wow the great Hermione Granger needs help? From me?”
“I- nevermind it was silly of me” She got up feeling flustered and began to walk away
“Lighten up, Granger, it was a joke”
“What would you do if you liked someone, but they had a girlfriend and probably don’t like you back?”
“You’ve finally admitted you like Weasley huh” You patted the window sill next to you, prompting her to sit down
“What? No! Ron-“
“You do know Lavender has been slipping him love potions right?”
“But that’s against the rules! She could get expelled for that”
“She doesn’t care Hermione, if I were you I’d slip a bezoar down Weasley’s throat and see what happens after that”
“How do you know? That she’s been making him drink love potions?”
“I saw her buying some in hogsmeade”
“Well thank you for your help” 
“Can I ask why you thought I’d be the best person to come to for this advice?”
“Well to be quite frank, I don’t know myself. All my other friends are Ron’s friends too, I didn’t want them telling him anything. And we’ll you’ve been the kindest to me, and I would like to think despite everything you respect me. So thank you for your help” With that she got up and began to walk away
“Hey by the way, Granger, he’d be an idiot to turn you down”
Hermione flashed you a true genuine smile before returning to the Gryffindor common room.
You finished the remnants of your lunch and headed back to the dormitory. Daphne and Lily hadn’t left their spots on their beds.
“Who’s up for a party tonight?” You asked the both of them, a wide grin across your face.
After some further information from some 7th year girls, you, Daphne and Lily found yourselves standing outside the room of requirement at 9pm. Despite being a small, debaucherous get-together, in true Slytherin fashion the three of you were still impeccably dressed. You wore a thin silver satin blouse with a plunging neckline, a blouse he bought for you over the summer, along with some fitted black paper bag trousers and a pair of Chanel flats.
The door opened to reveal a room that looked exactly like the Slytherin common room only the table in front of the fire was covered in alcohol and snacks. Blaise, Draco, Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle were sat in a small group off to the side. Draco’s head snapped up when he heard the door open and he looked as though his breath catched in his throat. You knew he was trying not to stare but it was like he couldn’t move his eyes off you. You’d be lying if you said this wasn’t the effect you wanted to have. Daphne ran off to a 6th year boy that she had been flirting with and you and Lily headed over to your friends.
“You made it!” Blaise exaclaimed getting up to hug you.
You saw dracos knuckles whiten even more as he gripped his butterbeer. You hugged Blaise back, after all, it was Draco who wanted to keep the two of you a secret. Blaise hugged Lily too and the two of you sat down. You made a point to sit directly opposite Draco, forcing Blaise to sit on the arm of the sofa with his arm resting on its back. A butterbeer had been forced into your hand which you sipped every once in a while whilst making conversation with your friends. You had noticed Pansy almost sticking to Draco’s side. She’d laugh overly loud at any small thing he said, even if it wasn’t funny, and failed to get Draco to dance with her numerous times.
After a while the 7th years announced the commencement of a drinking game. They placed an empty bottle on the floor and spun it, if it landed on you, you had to choose a truth or a dare, if you didnt want to do the option you selected, youd have to take a double shot of firewhiskey. You chose to sit it out, standing on the outside of the circle only a few steps away from Draco, who coincidentally also decided to sit out.
“I like the blouse” He commented, taking a swig of his butterbeer
“Thank you, it was a gift” You replied, folding your arms together to accentuate your cleavage. 
“Would have preferred you wearing it with just the two of us. Goyle won’t stop staring at you.”
“Well if you offered to take me to a nicer place than a broom cupboard or the empty classroom on the fourth floor, then maybe I’d wear it”
“I was told you were talking to Granger today”
“And? Am I not allowed to speak to people?”
“Not that filthy mudblood”
“Does it really hurt your feelings that bad that she’s smarter than you despite being muggle born that the ONLY thing you can comment on is her blood status?”
“I don’t want you to be seen talking to her again”
“Newsflash, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m not Parkinson, I won’t obey you like some lost dog.” And with that you moved further away from him leaning on a column in the corner of the room. 
So far people had only chosen to spill truths, some choosing to take shots instead of their truths. Daphne and her little boyfriend had been dared to enjoy 7 minutes in heaven, made possible by a random broom cupboard supplied by the room of requirement, it had been more than seven minutes and you were sure you’d get a detailed play by play back in the dorms. The empty bottle of fire whiskey landed on Charlie, he joined hogwarts in 5th year after being in America for the last few years.
“Truth or dare Charles?” Blaise asked, rubbing his hands together
“Truth”
“Who do you think is the most beautiful girl in this room?”
“Oh that’s easy, Y/N”
The whole group turned to look at you. You could see from the corner of your eye that Draco had tensed up. He himself slowly turned his head to look at you
“I have to admit, Charlie, you have great taste. You’ll go far in this world” You said, smiling.
“I’ll go as far as you want me to”
This caused the whole group to laugh and return to their game. You checked the clock and saw that it was getting close to 1am. You tapped Lily’s shoulder and she got up.
“Leaving already girls?” Blaise asked from his spot infront of the fire
“It’s getting late, parties aren’t Y/N’s scene anymore anyway” Lily replied smoothing out her skirt
“I’ll walk you back to the dormitory, I’m rather bored here myself” Draco offered, finally getting free of Pansy
“No need, Lily and I are big girls, we can get ourselves back without Filch finding us.” You replied cooly
“I insist”
“No no, Draco. Stay, enjoy the festivities”
You and Lily snuck out of the room of requirement and returned to the dorms undetected.
“What was going on with you and Draco?” She asked while the two of you were getting ready for bed
“Nothing”
“It sounded like the two of you were having a tense conversation”
“You know how Draco can be, always trying to one up everyone”
“Did you hear about Pansy and Draco?” She asked once she was comfy in her bed.
“No” you put your hair brush back in the drawer and got under your own covers
“I heard from Marietta in the year above that Parkinson was bragging about how her and Draco went on a date today. Apparently he took her to the black lake for a picnic”
“Well good for them, I hope they’re happy”
“I know you like him but maybe now she’ll stop being such a raging bitch”
“Maybe, goodnight Lily”
“Goodnight Y/N”
You weren’t crazy, you knew Draco wasn’t stupid enough to even attempt to cheat on you. Your family was just as affluent and your father was just as influential as Lucius for him to know that a cheating scandal between two of the oldest pure blood lines would not turn out well for him. Yet it did nothing to stop the anger bubbling up inside you.
You and Draco began to get closer during your 5th year. You two studied together often and you both were prefects, made to patrol the corridors at night. It was inevitable for the two of you to strike up a bond. You didnt expect your bond to become so strong that an owl would end up dropping a letter on your bed one rainy summer afternoon, with a letter from Draco enclosed about how bored he was over the holiday. The two of you sent letters back and forth, he even floo’d into your bedroom when your parents were out. On the first hogsmeade trip of the year, he asked you to join him and he asked you to be his girlfriend. However, he wanted to keep your relationship a secret. He knew that people would talk and both of your parents would find out, it would lead to talks for the future, something he was not ready for. You saw where he was coming from and agreed, you just didn’t think it would end up like this. In the beginning he tried, he really did, he’d leave cute notes in your bag, he’d hold your hand under the table, save you a seat at dinner, even sneak you into his dormitory, but a few weeks ago, it all suddenly seemed to stop. But you were sick of it. You deserved to be treated better than you were being treated right now.
You awoke on Sunday feeling slightly less angry than you did when you went to sleep. Sunday’s were the day you and Draco would lock yourselves in an old empty classroom on the fourth floor and finally get to be yourselves. You went down to breakfast and sat in your usual seat, waiting for him to make his way down. You were half way through a bowl of cereal when you noticed him walk in with his boys, and Pansy. You dropped your spoon into your bowl causing milk to splash everywhere
“Merlin’s beard Y/N!” Daphne yelled, scooching to the side
You and Lily grabbed some napkins to clean up the small spillage.
“I’ve suddenly lost my appetite” You deadpanned
You got up and walked past draco, purposely bumping his shoulder on your way out. It hurt you more than it hurt him but you still had a point to make.
“Jeez Y/L/N, watch where youre-” Pansy Scoffed
“Oh fuck off pansy” 
“Y/N!” 
You ignored him and carried on walking out of the hall. You heard his footsteps behind you and he managed to catch up to you, grabbing you by the wrist.
“What is the matter with you?” He demanded
“Me? What’s the matter with you?”
“Nothings wrong with me you’re the one acting crazy”
“Firstly, I don’t like your tone. If you’re going to shout at me I refuse to listen to another word.”
“I’m sorry but I don’t understand what the issue is”
“My issue is YOU”
You ended up raising your voice to a volume too loud for Draco’s liking and he pulled you into a nearby storage cupboard.
“This is my problem draco, being forced to hide everything. Arguing in a fucking broom cupboard for fucks sake.” You sighed
“Y/N, you know how-“
“No, I am tired, Draco, sick and tired of hiding, of keeping secrets, of not being able to come and collapse next to you when I’m upset”
“You can still do that,”
“No I can’t, you always surrounded by one of your posse members. If it’s not Crabbe or Goyle then it’s fucking Parkinson. Did you know she’s going round telling everyone you took her to the black lake for a picnic?”
“She said what? I didn’t even see her yesterday, Blaise and I went to the quidditch pitch after breakfast.” He had a face of visible disgust on his face at the thought of people thinking him and Pansy were a thing.
“Well yeah now the whole school thinks you’re going out with Parkinson and you’re not going to say anything to stop those rumours”
“You know why, princess”
“Yeah you don’t want to think about the future. But if thinking about a future with me really scares you so much Draco, why are you still with me? Surely if you just kept yourself single, you’d have no future to worry about and no girlfriend breathing down your neck”
“You know that’s not what I mean”
“Then what do you mean? Because -” you cut him off, you were starting to get annoyed and he could sense it
“If you stopped interrupting me, I’d be able to explain my thoughts” He said calmly, placing both his hands on your cheeks, forcing you to look at him in the eye.
“Speak then”
“Yes I don’t want to think about my future. I don’t want to think about what ministry career I’ll be forced into to keep up my family’s reputation, who I’ll be forced to call my friend for the sake of appearances, what I need to name my first born child. I don’t want to think about all the skeletons in the Malfoy family wardrobe that I’ve yet to discover. This, me and you, it’s so innocent, so pure. You get me, you see me for more than my family name. And I want to protect this. I don’t want our parents getting involved and tainting what we have.”
“It’s the only way we-”
“Interrupt me once more and I’ll hex you.” 
You closed your mouth and decided to listen for just a short while more.
“However, if the key to your happiness, and the future of our relationship, is for everyone, including our parents, to find out about us. Then I will walk straight into that hall and stand on the table and announce it to the whole school.”
“You really mean that?”
He nodded
“So if your father sent you an owl tomorrow that says we have to get married in the summer...” you linked your wrists together behind his neck, swaying slightly as you looked up at him
“I’ll marry you. I would sacrifice my own life if it meant I could see you smile.”
“Bit dramatic there, Malfoy” you laughed
“You taught me well, Y/L/N”
“I’d rather you didn’t embarrass the both of us by getting up on the table. You can hold my hand though.”
“Anything for the Slytherin princess.”
You smiled and gave him a quick kiss before getting out of the broom closet. Draco took your hand and held it firmly in his as you both walked into the great hall.
He started to think out loud about his breakfast but you watched for the reactions of your peers as you made your way to your table, no one was really shocked, most of them looked up and smiled excitedly before chattering to their friends, you walked past the gryffindor table and heard the words ‘bet’ and ‘owe’ get thrown about. Once you got to your friends Draco waited for you to sit down, right next to Pansy, before sitting on your other side with his arm around your waist.
“Y/L/N and Malfoy? I never saw that one coming” Blaise laughed, the sarcasm evident in his voice.
“Well get used to it, Zabini, cause you’ll be seeing it a whole lot more” You responded, moving closer into Draco’s lap.
Long gone were the days of hiding, as well as the days of Pansy Parkinson thinking she could steal your man. 
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2manyfandoms2count · 4 years ago
Text
I love you (not) - Chapter 9
Tackling two prompts of @marichatmay again ('take a break' and 'cuddles'), it's probably not going to help much with catching up on the schedule but it's okay.
We are now a little over a third into the story, and... Are those real feelings that are emerging in the fake relationship? Perhaps... Still quite a bit of oblivious dumbassery to go, though, else it wouldn't be fun :D Hope you enjoy!
First | Previous | AO3 | Next
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Chapter 9: In which Marinette gets mixed up in her checklist
"I'm sure I'm missing something…" Marinette mumbled as she read through her extensive to-do list of the day, tapping her pencil against her chin.
School
HomeworkFrench: Dissertation Maths: exercises 5,9,12 p.132 Science: Lab report English: Act III, scene 1 Hamlet History: revision test Extra last minute?
ALYA’S BIRTHDAY PREP: coordinate surprise party + finish gift
Kitty section: costume prototype for single 2
Art project: finish dress
Picnic Alya, Nino, Adrien
“I swear there was a seventh thing I needed to do today.” She squinted, scanning her surroundings in the hopes that it would jog her memory. There was so much going on these days that things kept piling up, but today she was determined to catch up with everything. She didn’t have much of a choice, anyway; most of the items on her list had a set deadline, and it was coming at her faster than she liked. She preferred not to get hit by the truck head on.
Her eyes landed on Chat Noir’s blanket, which she’d draped over the back of her chaise after he’d left on the night of his birthday, over a week before.
“Right! Chat Noir - Ask Chat Noir to take a break, ” she mumbled, scribbling down the last point, before setting the list down next to her computer keyboard. She'd abandoned the idea of full on breaking up with him given how their relationship was dragging on; a break seemed softer to ask for first, and it could easily be followed up by a breakup.
It was going to be a long day, but with a bit of rigour, and thanks to her early start, it would all work out.
“Don’t you think that’s a bit much for one day, Marinette?” Tikki peeked over her shoulder, letting out a small yawn.
“Well, maybe for a normal girl, but not for Ladybug.” She yawned reflexively, and her kwami shot her a pointed look. “I know, I know. I have to power through, though - it’s not my fault I got sidetracked so much these past few days. I honestly wonder what Hawkmoth does as a living, the man has too much time on his hands.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to get a tiny bit more sleep? To help with your productivity?” Her Kwami asked, looking slightly worriedly at the bags beneath her eyes.
“It’s 6am, Tikki, not the crack of dawn. I’ll have to be up by the time I fall back asleep again.” She waved her concern away. “I’ll just let the stress adrenaline work its magic. It’s going to be fine, don’t worry.” Tikki pouted doubtfully. “Now, would you mind reading me the Hamlet scene while I finish sewing up my project?”
---
This is a disaster , Marinette thought as the formulae she read on the page danced in front of her eyes. It didn’t matter how many times she went through them, they just didn’t compute.
She looked at the time: 6:45pm. She had fifteen minutes before her picnic, and she had to finish her maths homework, her dissertation, her History revision, the Kitty section prototype, and send out individual messages to remind everybody of their tasks for Alya’s birthday so it wasn’t too short notice for the weekend.
She tried to ignore the palpitations of her heart; maybe she’d overdone it on the coffee during the day. It wasn’t like she had a choice, anyway.
She’d discovered as she'd walked into class that she had a class president meeting with Mr. Damocles over her lunch break, which had been when she’d planned to squeeze in some of her work.
Then, while she’d been packing her bag at the end of her classes, ready to leave, an Akuma had emerged. It had been a tricky one, too; Chat and her had spent about an hour chasing it around Paris before finally catching it.
Adding to that the fact that her 6am rising had left her exhausted by the second period of the day, she really hadn��t been the most efficient anyway.
“I think you know what you need to do, Marinette,” Tikki said apologetically, as if reading her mind, floating up to her with her phone in her flippers. Alya’s number was already dialled on the screen.
Marinette sighed and took the phone from her, pressing the green button before lodging it between her shoulder and her ear.
“Hey girl!” Alya’s excited voice sounded on the other end of the line. “Nearly ready to go? We really picked the right night for a picnic; the weather’s super nice.”
“About that…” Marinette winced. “I’m so sorry, I won’t be able to make it.”
“You’re kidding, right? You ’re passing up on an opportunity to have a picnic with Adrien? Are you ill?” Alya said after a small beat.
“Trust me, I surprised myself.” Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose. “I just feel like I have a bit too much on my plate right now, and I wouldn’t be great company if I came. I hope we can find another time to go out again, but I think studying and going to bed early is what’s best.”
“It’s true that you’ve seemed kind of out of it lately,” Alya said compassionately. “Don’t worry about us, take care of yourself! I promise I’ll take loads of pictures, it’ll be like you were here. And I’ll bully Mr Agreste with you after our exams to get Adrien out again if needed.”
“Thanks for understanding Alya.” Marinette smiled.
“That’s what best friends are for!” She could almost see her wink. “Now, get back to work and then go to bed! We’ll see you tomorrow.”
There was a bit of chatter on the line before Alya hung up, as she met up with Adrien and Nino.
“Wait, Marinette isn’t coming?” Adrien’s almost disappointed voice was the last thing Marinette heard before the communication ceased.
She found herself quite immune to it. She decided not to dwell on it.
---
Adrien enjoyed the picnic very much, as he did any opportunity to hang out with his friends, but his eyes kept drifting to the empty space next to him, where Marinette would undoubtedly have been sitting, were she with them. He hoped she was alright; Alya had told him that the reason why she wasn’t coming was because she was studying, which was fair considering the amount of homework they’d been given in the past few weeks, but he did feel like she was overworking herself a bit.
He didn’t doubt her ability to take on all of her projects, but he wished she’d slow down a little, for the sake of her health. What would he do if his everyday Ladybug burned out?
He wondered what Alya’s curious gaze meant when he voiced his thoughts about the situation. He panicked a little when she said that maybe a boyfriend could help get her mind off of work - firstly, because Marinette technically had a boyfriend, which he was surprised Alya of all people didn’t know. He thought the two girls told each other everything. Was Marinette keeping their relationship a secret on purpose? Was she confused about their status, which, he had to admit, he wasn't sure was himself? Was she (the thought scared him) ashamed of him?
Secondly, he found his heart squeeze peculiarly at the thought of Marinette having a boyfriend other than him . He decided not to dwell on it.
He couldn’t help but take the long way home, passing at the bottom of her building, after the picnic, though. And, seeing that there was still light in her room at past 11pm, he decided that he should probably do something; for her well being, not as an excuse to see her, of course.
He transformed in a back alley, then extended his baton so he could peek through the window closest to her desk. Maybe she was already asleep, but had forgotten to turn her lights off.
The sight of her bent over a sheet of paper, hands buried in her hair as if ready to tear it out of her scalp made him knock.
Marinette jumped at the unexpected sound, and looked up, looking quite haggard. Her features softened when her eyes met his.
There was a hint of a smile on her lips as she opened the window. “Hey Chat, what are you doing here?” She yawned.
“Bedtime patrol, just making sure that citizens are going to bed at a reasonable time,” he smiled, stifling his own yawn.
“That’s nice of you. But, does that mean that I’m in trouble?” she drawled out, leaning forward to boop him on the nose. Her exhaustion was clouding her better judgement.
“Depends, are you nearly done with your studying?”
“When will I ever be nearly done,” she snorted, turning around to take a look at her checklist.
Her feet caught in the straps of her backpack and she wobbled forward, but Chat pounced inside in time to catch her before she could tumble down.
“Woah there, little lady… Your spatial awareness is worse than ever,” he said fondly as she clutched his arms. “Sorry, but I’m not letting you get back to work.”
“But I need to finish something…” Marinette protested.
“What you really need is to take a break.”
Marinette paused to think about it. Taking a break with Chat Noir… she seemed to recall that was on the list.
“Okay.” She shrugged.
“Good. Come here, then.” Chat Noir sighed in relief at her lack of resistance and started to lead her towards her bed, but before he’d let out his whole breath, Marinette was already trying to make her way back to her desk.
“Wait, I actually still have so much to do…” She reached for her flashcards, which tumbled at their feet.
“Okay, tell you what.” He kept hold of one of her hands as he picked the flashcards up to avoid her escaping. “Why don’t you take a small nap, and I’ll stay here and keep an eye on the time. I’ll wake you up in an hour, and when I leave I’ll turn a blind eye on your choice between going to bed and getting back to work.” She looked at her doubtfully, and glanced at the cards in his hands. He took a closer look at them; their content was that of the test they had the next day. “I can read you these while you fall asleep so it’s not too much of a waste of time, if you want.” He waved them in front of her face, hoping she’d say yes. He really needed the revision, too.
Marinette nodded and he led her to her chaise, helping her lie down on it. He started draping his blanket over her and was about to go and sit in her desk chair when she grabbed his free hand and pulled on it, a lot more strongly than he would have expected from her, especially in her exhausted state.
“Take a break with me.” She shifted to her left and patted the newly formed space. “Please?”
Her pleading bluebell eyes were difficult to deny.
“Okay,” he said as he sat next to her. Marinette snuggled up against him and sighed contently.
Chat’s heart skipped a beat. He wrapped a tentative arm around her and cleared his throat before starting to read. “The Hundred Years’ war actually lasted one hundred and sixteen years, from 1337 to 1453…”
His own tiredness hit him like a truck after a couple of pages, when he heard her soothing, gentle snoring. He lowered the flashcards to watch her sleep. She looked so tranquil, a peaceful smile drawn on her lips as her body slowly followed her breathing.
He felt his eyes close, and soon the both of them were breathing in sync, holding on to each other.
Needless to say, Chat left a little later than anticipated the next morning, woken up by the rising sun. Neither of them complained, though; both had had one of the most restful nights in a while, and both aced their History test.
Each wondered if they weren’t onto something in terms of revision technique.
Adrien almost gloated to Alya about how maybe Marinette didn’t have a boyfriend who took her mind off of work, but she had one who took care of her while she studied. Almost.
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