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whiteboardartstudios · 5 months ago

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Goodbye, Gendaen

fan art for @mtqcomic

Thoughts and LONG ramble under the cut! (includes spoilers!!!)

A while ago (like last week maybe?) I realized that I've been following this comic for almost a year, and I still haven't drawn Mysta yet! I figured that with the recent end of Chapter 3 and that *huge* lore drop (I was NOT expecting that oh my goodness the theory wheels are turning in the void that is my brain) now would be a pretty good time to draw her! So that's where this came from! :D

I thought that it would be fun to draw Mysta looking sort of like a knight? Partially because it makes for cool posing and composition but also because I think that if she was in D&D she would be a paladin due to the whole "Hero sent by Destiny" thing (I considered sorcerer or warlock as well, but her moveset is mostly melee at the moment so I thought that paladin fits better. Plus this opens up the possibility of Gendaen being an Oathbreaker paladin, depending on how that whole situation with the Crimson went. (also now I kind of want to put the main cast of mtq in D&D even though I don't actually know a lot about D&D ToT. I think Eth would be a ranger maybe multiclassed into something magic-related, because rangers have a favored enemy mechanic that gives them advantages on fighting a certain type of enemy, which could be Crimson enemies for D&D Eth. Yele is (kind of obviously) a druid because of the whole dryad thing, and Zaïl is definitely giving rogue energy to me.)) Anyways, D&D-related sidetrack aside – hello??? End-of-chapter-3 lore drop? (/positive) I have SO many questions. First of all, what happened to convince Gendaen to switch sides? For someone who allegedly spent his entire life trying to cleanse the Crimson, it would've taken one heck of a worldview-upending revelation to get him to join it. With the information we currently have, it seems pretty clear that Gendaen isn't mind-controlled or corrupted or anything – not just because of the reasons Eth gave in page #169, but also because from all the interactions we've had with Nelun Soma'o/Gendaen, he seemed to be pretty chill? I pointed out in my first fan art post that it doesn't seem as if Nelun Soma'o is being built up to be a villain character and is instead more of an antagonist with a slight mentor role, and I think that still kind of holds up now. Gendaen definitely wants Mysta to help him and/or the Crimson with something, and as Yele said in that recent comic, things aren't really adding up. I'm still slightly suspicious of the Order of Learning as well (insert person pointing at conspiracy theory board meme here lol), since you would think that if Gendaen and Eth are really close then Gendaen might have told Eth about the whole Crimson situation, right? On Page #250 (which is marked as 150??? probably a typo but idk) Gendaen says that he didn't want Eth to be roped into this whole situation, which could be a reason for keeping him in the dark – though if he knew Eth really well then he might have suspected that Eth wouldn't just let him disappear and would go searching for him. Another possible reason (in my theory) if the Order is evil or something and Gendaen learned something that he shouldn't have learned, maybe he knew that Eth wouldn't believe him because of his loyalty to the Order? I may just be connecting random dots and calling it a picture here but *something* is going on and until we get more clues on what that may be, I'm sticking with this theory lol :P EDIT, I was rereading Gendaen's character sheet and it says there that he has a strong code of honor and fights for the underdogs (not the exact phrasing but it's close). 👀 does that mean the Crimson is in some sort of underdog position? 👀

Anyways back to the drawing a little, I gave both Gendaen and Mysta a sort of braid-like element in their designs to sort of tie them together a bit visually (Mysta's is on the sides of her head, which is kind of hard to see so I added a little ribbon to show that parts of her hair is tied back, and Gendaen's is in his golden hair accessory thingy). I think that there's definitely some sort of correlation between Gendaen's disappearance/switching to the Crimson and Mysta being sent to Sol Ybberia, and I also think that both of them are going to play an important role in whatever happens in the future, hence the braids (to show that their destinies are kind of intertwined, as the two Heroes of Sol Ybberia). I also thought that it would be fun to put Gendaen in a stained glass window instead of actually physically being present, because up until the Nelun Soma'o reveal, all the things we know about Gendaen are basically all from Eth's recollections of him, which for me definitely paints a bit of a "Character haunting the narrative" kind of vibe. I also think that with the Nelun Soma'o reveal, the somewhat glorified (for a lack of a better word – I think Eth might be a little biased when it comes to Gendaen, considering that Gendaen has been missing for about 5 years, if my math is correct? 5 years feels like a long time to me and I think that if a person important to me has been missing for that long then my impression of them would definitely start warping to how I want to remember them/who I wanted them to be and I might start unintentionally ignoring the things that doesn't quite match that image in my head. Speaking of/case in point, Eth's reaction to the Nelun Soma'o reveal!) image of Gendaen that we had got thrown in a metaphorical blender with our idea of the Crimson at the time, and it just makes things a whole lot more complicated in a very interesting way. (If you look at the bottom right of the image you can see Nelun Soma'o's cloak coming out of stained-glass Gendaen's cloak, which I thought would be a fun little detail to include). Hence, the stained glass is kind of the "perfect Hero who disappeared to advance the plot" Gendaen and we can see Mysta kind of splitting the glass with her Rotted Fork from a composition point of view, referencing that huge lore bomb she dropped a couple of pages ago and how that changes our (or at least my) perception of Gendaen as a character entirely. I really do like the plot twist, as I think it makes Gendaen a more 3-dimensional character with more complicated motivations and narrative significance, as before I mainly knew him as "predecessor to Mysta" and "one of Eth's sources of motivation", but now he my understanding of Gendaen also extends to things about Gendaen himself and not just about his role in relation to other characters (for example, "Gendaen is helping the Crimson for reasons currently unknown" or "Gendaen is planning something that involves Mysta??? and he's in the Void??? And apparently Mysta is supposed to jailbreak him out at some point in the future?" He definitely has something planned behind the scenes, I don't know what it is and I want to find out).

MORE THINGS about Gendaen (can you tell that he's my favorite character at the moment ToT), what's up with those last words? If I'm correct (and I think I am, I scrolled all the way back to the page where the gods were introduced just to check this ToT), Nomù is Compassion? How is compassion related to Gendaen's alliance with the Crimson? I mean, when you think of the Crimson, compassion definitely is NOT the first value that comes to mind. Right now it seems that to me, Gendaen's plan with Mysta and the Crimson and the Void is connected to Nomù somehow? (the "I won't disappoint you" is definitely interesting). I don't have a lot of thoughts or theories on where this might be going, I just thought that it was something interesting to metaphorically chew on for the next while. It definitely seems like it has some sort of narrative significance, at least.

There might be more things that I wanted to talk about, but I can't really think of them off the top of my head right now (it might be due to the fact that it's currently quite late in my time zone ToT I am sleepy) so that's all from me for now :D (Also dropping the version of the drawing with just the lineart here because I think it looks really cool)

I hope you have a really nice day and/or night! :D

*a starry rift in space opens up in front of me and I faceplant into it like it is a mattress* (gotta make that dramatic exit!) [Image ID: The first image is a colored and rendered image of Mysta from the Mysta's Terrarian Quest webcomic standing in front of a stained glass window of Gendaen. She is holding the Rotted Fork spear from Terraria, and she has a determined expression on her face. The stained glass shows Gendaen with his back turned to the audience, and one closed eye is visible. His cloak is flowing to the right of the image, where it emerges out of the stained glass as it fades from green to dark grey. Crimson vines, green trees, and white clouds surrounds Gendaen in the stained glass. Outside of the glass portrait, real crimson vines are creeping along the stone walls that the portrait is on, framing the portrait and Mysta in the middle. A red light source is shining down from the upper right corner of the drawing. End ID.] [Image ID: The second image is a work-in-progress version of the first image without any color and only some minimal shading, with all shades being in monochrome. Mysta's lineart is noticeably darker compared to the line art of the background. End ID.]

EDIT: Forgot to add image ids, they're here now TwT

#mtqcomic #fan art #my art #whiteboardartstudios #art #also drawing fan art for people is really funny because you'll see them going about their life as usual-#-and then you're there hiding in the corner going “ehehehehehehe they don't know I'm about to hit them with the dodgeball of appreciation”#it's a very >:3 kind of feeling lol (at least for me)#also I had SO much fun drawing that Rotted Fork #I took some creative liberties with its design (aka the weird spine-shaped thingy-#-that was only slightly inspired by Acheron's (Honkai Star Rail) weird spine-shaped accessory. I thought it would be cool for Crimson-#-weapons to have more body parts in their visual design compared to just in the name and color scheme lol. Shading all that dark metal-#-was super fun :D the shiny red bits were great too :D)#also I was SO incredibly excited when I realized that Mysta's armor is reflective and thus I can make it glow #fun art things I guess :)#I really do need to go to sleep now tho #byeeeeee

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calciferous-kelpie · 1 year ago

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Hey btw if your ever in need of ranting about a blorbo/oc, this is an ask that tells your to do so. What is the most interesting thing about them? Do they have any symbolism to them and if so what is it about? Favorite ideal situation to put them in? Any romance ideas?

Anon, I want to start off by apologizing for taking EXACTLY A YEAR to reply to this! Happy One Year Anniversary! 💀😭 Obviously, I’ve been thinking about this a lot, trying to decide who I wanted to talk about and trying to put my thoughts into words. And, of course, it took even longer because I wanted to include drawings of the characters… 🤦‍♂️Anyway…

I’ve decided to talk about multiple characters of mine, since they are important for my upcoming comics: Boxman’s mother, father, and sister! I have some New™, Fresh™ information to share about all of them today! Hope you enjoy my ramblings!

MEREDITH (Boxman's Mother)

Most interesting thing: Hmm, well… the things I find most interesting about Meredith are kind of spoilers for my comics, but an interesting thing about her is her special ability! (“Every proper siren has one, darling.” 💅) It’s called Eye of the Storm, and it allows her to summon and control a raging thunderstorm at will. Obviously, this sort of thing takes a lot of energy to maintain, so this ability actually comes with a secondary feature: Meredith can occasionally choose a victim to steal the energy from, and all she has to do to steal said energy is to make direct eye contact with them. The lady’s got a mean glare as it is, but with this power on top of that? Wowza. Watch out.

Symbolism: Given my answer to the previous question, you won’t be surprised to know that I associate Meredith with storms! She is a passionate character with a wild side, and when she truly gets going, she will step aside for no one.

Favorite situation to put them in: Meredith is a complex character with a lot going on, and I don’t want to reduce her to just an antagonist… but MAN, does she make a good antagonist! 😆 I love to put her into situations in which she terrifies/intimidates other characters, and trust me, she will have a lot of chances to do that in the comics!

Romance ideas: Meredith isn’t much for romance. At least not anymore. Heron was her first love, and after her relationship with him went south, her trust in men was destroyed. (To be fair, it was shaky to begin with.) She has, however, made an attempt at another relationship or two for monetary reasons. If that even counts lol

HERON (Boxman's Father)

Most interesting thing: Heron has had a wide variety of experiences across his lifetime, and during that time, he has developed many, many skills. These skills include (but are not limited to): farming, fishing, sailing, cooking, baking, sewing, crochet, whittling, building, juggling, and playing the banjo! Just… don’t ask him to sing, okay?

Symbolism: Heron’s symbolism is… probably pretty obvious, huh? I mean… he’s got an anchor… tattooed… on his back… *ahem* Anyway. The anchor is connected to a lot of Heron’s positive attributes—loyalty and sturdiness being the main ones. But it is also connected to some of his character flaws and the way he views himself. In a way, Heron himself is an anchor, for all the good and bad that entails. ⚓

Favorite situation to put them in: Despite the immense amount of comic outlining and scriptwriting I’ve been doing for Siren Theory, I can say pretty confidently that any scene in which Heron interacts with Professor Venomous is one of my favorites. It’s partly due to the “meet the parents” trope, but the other part of it is that Heron is just an unusual guy who does unusual things, and having a stranger witness that firsthand is hilarious.

Romance ideas: While Heron has had his share of crushes in his youth, he has never been in a serious relationship with anyone but Meredith… and he would like to keep it that way. He still feels like he’s putting the pieces of himself back together after their messy separation.

REBECCA/SIRENA (Boxman's Sister)

Most interesting thing: I think the thing that I enjoy most about Rebecca is the duality in her personality. She is very charismatic and graceful onstage as Sirena, but offstage, when she’s just Rebecca, she can be pretty socially awkward and kind of a klutz.

Symbolism: Some of you may have made the connection already, but Sirena’s real name, Rebecca, is a nod to Rebecca Sugar, the creator of Steven Universe and the spouse of Ian Jones-Quartey (creator of OK KO). This name was actually a suggestion by my sister (Thanks, girlie!) because she knew Sugar sang the end credit song of OK KO, and that little song was one of my inspirations for creating Sirena in the first place. Since then, the name has really proven itself to be a perfect fit for my little superstar siren! The meaning of the name Rebecca is “to tie/bind,” and Rebecca really is the character that ties her family—and the narrative of a lot of the comics—together!

Favorite situation to put them in: My favorite moments for Rebecca are the ones in which she is emotionally vulnerable. It isn’t always easy for her, but there are some things that will happen in the comics that will force her to wear her heart on her sleeve. I’m excited for that!

Romance ideas: Honestly, I’ve come up with so many ideas for OK KO that I won’t have space for all of them in the narrative, even though I’m planning to create, like, 19 comics! 😂 One of those things that won’t get a lot of time in the spotlight is Rebecca’s developing romance with a certain someone. That being said, it wouldn’t be a big spoiler for me to say… Plazecca! 🎵

Thank you so much for asking, Anon! Truly, you have enriched my enclosure. 💖

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eagle-eyes-sideblog · 11 months ago

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That Medical Anomaly

Summary

An AU where the reader is the subject of a secretive experiment that leaves them the perfect Player... among other things.

Possible triggering themes for this AU/story include medical trauma, descriptions of chronic illness, ableism, depression, and death. If I've handled anything insensitively, please let me know.

A more 'formal' introduction, along with rambling about my thought process, under the cut.

Self Aware MadCom belongs to @saltymongoose. The concept is really interesting to me, even aside from the xreader stuff (although it's definitely also that lmao). So I thought I might explore that a bit with a concept that's already been floating around my head for a bit. The world that the reader is from is deliberately left a bit vague, but it's sort of magical realism. Most relevant to this AU: there are things like doctors and computers existing alongside curses and other magical ailments.

Also, this doesn't really include much MadCom or SAMAU... Well, no interactions with the characters, anyways. It's mostly just an introduction to my ideas for this AU, so it describes more of what your life was like beforehand and how you found the series. Do also note that I've never played either M:PN game, so there might be some inaccuracies.

All that being said... enjoy!

~~~

You, along with several others, were the subject of an experiment when you were a teenager. It was so secretive, you were never even given the details of why it had been conducted. That, or you had forgotten, given that one of the major side effects of the experiment was memory loss.

The experiment itself was something about deliberately letting specific kinds of contagions into the subject's body. You knew a few of them were fungal, and many were magical in some way, although they were different for every experiment.

Apparently if they chose the right infections for the right subject and 'balanced' them properly with the individual's immune system... they would stabilize. This led to the subject gaining supernatural abilities based on whatever magical infections they had.

Of course, most of the subjects weren't so lucky. The various infections would usually just take their courses; often the combinations would very quickly kill the subject. Those that survived were left with permanent problems ranging from aphasia to compromised immune systems to seizures.

You were their star subject, the one better off than all the rest. The staff made sure to remind you of that every time you complained about anything. "Be grateful," they told you. "At least you can still speak. At least you're still recovering. At least you're still alive." They never said it out loud, but you heard the implication. All of this is only happening because of us.

Bullshit. You were only 'better off' because of sheer dumb luck. Had they succeeded? Maybe. But their idea of success didn't even take you into account.

And their idea of success still left you with problems. Yes, you have sharper senses now, and you can draw energy from more than just food. But you're face-blind, and your hands and feet are numb, and you sometimes hurt so badly that you can't walk.

Not to mention how unethical the experiment itself was. They didn't even study people who already had these conditions; they deliberately induced them. Hell, one of your roommates was six years old! Why they let her participate still bothered you today.

...But it wasn't all bad. You cherished the friends you'd made there, even if you'd lost contact with most of them.

Not just your fellow patients, either. Most of the staff were... annoying at the very least. But a few seemed to actually have your best interests in mind. For example, your favorite nurse, Max, recommended an animated series that might help take your mind off of things when you were in the depths of depression.

You very quickly fell in love with Madness Combat. The simple graphics, where characters were denoted by outfit and style rather than facial features, seemed perfect for you. You grew to adore Hank, Deimos, Sanford, Tricky, and every other character, getting invested in their fights even when nothing else made you happy.

And the episodes were just plain fun to watch. Even when you had issues with your memory, the fight scenes interested you more than enough to make up for it. The community, too, seemed to welcome you, and you came to cherish the friends you made there.

Not only that, but you found a little game on Newgrounds. Although your numb hands made it hard to play, it really did capture the things that made you adore Madcom to begin with. Your favorite nurse approved too; after all, it was an exercise in hand-eye coordination!

Naturally, you were beyond thrilled when Project Nexus came out. By that point, you'd already left the facility. And your memory had recovered enough to get well and truly obsessed with the lore.

You smiled, picking the Tourist difficulty and sitting back to watch the intro cinematic. This was going to be fun.

(Unbeknownst to you, it would also be much, much more than you bargained for.)

#reader insert #self aware m:pn au #that medical anomaly au #eagle eyed writing #madness combat x reader #do i dare maintag this #no probably not #btw name is taken from the medical anomaly #by really introverted producer (r.i.p)#it may change!! that song is just very good #i have more thoughts on this au but im eepy and shall go to bed now #samau

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ambimakesarts · 2 years ago

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DIASOMNIA CHAPTER GOT ME THINKING

Also drawing takes long and I just wanna talk. And for those are EN only and don't want any spoilery talk I'll put my ramblings under the cut so you may ignore wild spoilers.

First I'd like to point out that Lilia doesn't seem to have an older looking form in the past so I was right all along that Lilia is a short faery man. Like did you see that silhouette? He's been that short for centuries!

Anyway that aside, I'm very 50/50 on the whole "Is Lilia faking his death, or is his past catching up to him quicker than he expected? Cuz Sebek mentioned that Lilia's old weapon is made of a special material that can change size, so I'm thinking Lilia's old fighting style involed him using his Unique magic so much that someone was like "you're gonna die or overblot if you keep fighting like that" so he switched up his style to be more advantageous to his naturally small size. I feel like that could explain this sudden "Lilia is losing his magic and dying thing" cuz like if fae are mostly made of magic and it takes them long to die without an outside force killing them then I guess a fae that dies of old age is just a fae who's used up all their magic, and if Lilia used to be extremely reckless in the past then it could explain why this sprung up so suddenly. Cuz unlike Idia, Ortho, and Silver, Lilia had zero hints about his status other than complaining about back pain, barely, also no one is able to tell if he's joking or not, so who's to say we were just not paying attention enough to Lilia's actual situation. Then again it still does feel sudden even if we had subtle hints that Lilia is very old, but he has so much energy it's hard to believe that he's fragile, probably cuz Lilia was ignoring it for Malleus' sake and finally decided that Malleus needs to learn how deal with loss so he's just dramatizing his death a bit? Like I don't think he's lying, but I also think he could be using this situation to help teach Malleus a type of life lesson he was putting off for way too long. At least that's my theory on Lilia for now.

I'm also wondering about Silver's origins, and if Lilia was the one that took Silver from his family. He says the ring belongs to Silver, what importance does this ring have to Silver's origins? Does it have dream powers? Is it the key to figuring out Silver's mysterious sleep spells? Was Silver from a human kingdom that was taken over by the Briar Valley and Silver was the only survivor so Lilia took him and his family ring? But like why? I'm also wondering if Silver is a direct descendent of Aurora and Philip. We know Idia is possibly a direct descendent of Hades based on his family curse, since he explains it in a way that sounds closer to what actually happened to Hades in the Hercules movie.

Which leads me into in another thing I've been thinking about, what if the students that overbloted are decendents of the Great Seven? I do remember seeing a translated bit from an interview with Yana were she was talking about the early development of the game and that the original plan for the SSR's was to have the characters with the Disney villains they took inspo from. So I'm wondering if the whole "Crowley is forcing overblots" theory that's been going around might have merit to it. That could explain why characters like Leona and Vil ended up overblotting even though they tend to be very level headed, but Crowley set up an environment that would cuz them to overblot.

"But what about Idia and Ortho that didn't happen in NRC?" HEAR ME OUT I GOT A THEORY! What if Crowley wanted to get STYX involved cuz he needed the Shrouds to merge with the overblot of their ancestor directly cuz of the Shroud family curse preventing Idia from overblotting like the others, so when Ortho started hacking STYX and got Idia to join him in this uprising in the facility, so long as Idia and Grim were involved and had contact with the blot then his plans could be full-filled? Cuz looking back, I'm still wondering WHO WAS CALLING ORTHO TO THE TARTARUS GATE? I don't think it was the real Ortho, the real Ortho shows up when Idia was separated from the blot and was telling Idia to continue living for the both of them, so like WHO WAS CALLING ROBOT ORTHO?!?!

But why would Crowley want to cuz these overblots? Maybe because he's planning something that involves wanting to bring back the Great Seven? What if Maleficent and Hades are the only two of the Great Seven who are still around unlike the others who lived so long ago and are just mortal beings (and Jafar's lamp was destroyed in the sequel). Maybe Grim is the key to Crowley's plan? Maybe it's Crowley who's going to allow Malleus to cause some kind of timeloop? We know Malleus is capable of stopping time, and we know his emotions tend to effect the weather around him, so like maybe Malleus is going freeze NRC not just in time but also literally freeze the area surrounding the campus cuz he doesn't want to be alone, and Crowley might just let it happen.

Cuz Crowley probably knows more than he lets on, after all Maleficent and the Evil Queen had pet crows, so he could be working for someone who wants these overblots to happen.

Well, that's enough of my theory/prediction rambling. I patiently wait for the rest of the chapter to unfold and give me more questions and answers.

#twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #twst theory #I wait for the rest of the chapter to be released #My head be full of so many twst thoughts I don't know how to sort them

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ghostlycoze · 11 months ago

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Well THIS made my terrible chronic-pain day significantly less terrible! What a pleasant surprise!! :D This absolutely made my day to get to see, I’m so honoured to see you draw my silly little headcanons and to hear you were inspired by them!

I’ve been offline for a while but itching to share some of my ideas, so this is the perfect opportunity–thank you for the invitation! (Oh, and I’m totally taking your Lilypad Essay post as an excuse to ramble about an au i've been working on called the Iterator Revolution—a lilypad-centred eventual-off-the-string AU! Buuuut I got to this one faster >:P)

Now to see if I can organise my mess of thoughts about these silly little robots…

I’m busting out the cozy tea for this one lads. [cracks knuckles]

This is almost exactly how I imagine them, although with a couple little additions that make mine just a liiiiiittle more organic (though I ADORE exploring the more mechanical parts of these guys too!!). Mainly things like innate behaviours they have that are utterly pointless aside from purely communication-based purposes; things that come instinctually to them as a result of deep rooted genetics that don’t really apply to what they are as a whole. For example, yawning! I’ve given my iterators a cute equivalent of “yawning”, which is a combination of cute antennae flutters (like when a cat stretches real hard), scrunching their faces up, usually stretching at the same time, and a deep exhale through their vents. It’s not exactly a yawn, but it's their way of being reminded of their own energy (and it's just cute~)

I feel the urge to go “Biiiiig stretch…” Whenever I imagine these little guys stretching, like you'd do with cats. Cuties, the lot of ‘em.

I imagine in my HCs that they could dream as well; as I tend to imagine their puppets hold a fair bit of the bio in their biomechanical forms, I imagine a lot of their more organic needs would shine through especially once off the string—and given the way they could run countless parallel mental processes at once, I feel like dreaming isn’t too far fetched. Just like how our brains use sleep-time to process information, maybe they only start dreaming once they’re off the string, because to process all that background information while processing active happening things at the same time could be too much now that they've been reduced to their puppets–so that's instead been moved to be a sleep-process.

And for a side dish of angst: Moon and Pebbles would probably be the most prone to nightmares. Moon with collapsing and drowning, and Pebbles with the Rot... Ouch.

Somewhat-related to their sleep (moreso cuddling), I imagine once they're off-the-string, they'd come to realise a new need of theirs is the need for touch. Almost all creatures have it, and while they’d have never known until coming off the string, they too desire it.

Maybe I’m just a sucker for comfort-fluff, but I feel like the first time any of them get to just hold each other, they’d be likely to just cry. Between having never really experienced physical touch before (I imagine maintenance from the Ancients hardly counted, they were likely “switched off” for such things anyways), being almost overwhelmed by it given their deprivation, realising how much they’ve wanted it, and realising how cruel it is that this is something they desire given they’d been caged and separated from each other… Yeah, that’s a lot of emotions for one being to have. It’s relief of what they have, and it's grief of what they should’ve had sooner.

Extending off that, another HC I vaguely remember picking up from another artist’s ideas (I’ve absolutely forgotten who, but I’ll credit when I remember!), is that they all have a sort of electromagnetic field (?), a sort of faint vibration of energy that they can feel from each other like a comforting aura of the other’s presence. Other organic creatures can’t feel it, and before they could touch in person they weren’t aware of it, and yet it’s something that becomes a big source of soothing and a hint of intimacy when iterators cuddle. Those energies almost sort of combine, like the idea of your heartbeat or breathing syncing with a loved one when holding them—and it brings a sense of familiarity, like being back in their cans when they felt the room thrum and hum with their own life force; a sense of home, found in one another. I also imagine newer gens have a stronger electromagnetic field, so it’s more noticeable and special for Moon than it is for Sig when they’re together!

Aaaand slightly less related but still wanted to mention, is iterator stimming!! Maybe it's a bit of projection, but I totally imagine these little guys need to stim, ESPECIALLY when off-the-string. Going from your loud can with 40 different processes going through your head at once, messages coming in from all over your city, an endlessly racing mind designed purely to iterate, to think. And then take all of that away. Leave nothing but a little guy who can only have the amount of mental processes you and I have (albeit likely VERY intelligent processes, but still.) Yeah, the understimulation would be hard to deal with! Everything is too quiet, they need to do something, they were never not doing something so to not constantly be busy would be difficult to adjust to! And so, they’d start stimming. Something to stimulate them, to get all of that energy out, to focus their mind on.

I feel like Sig in particular stimmed before coming off-the-string too—spun around on his rig and did little flips and swoops in the antigravity—though the others may have too. Moon, while she’d never admit it, totally loved hanging upside down now and then. She even does it in-game! Pebbles spun his pearls around, and Suns probably had their own form too, maybe even painting the wall of their chamber? (could explain where Spearmaster got their artistic flair from!)

But after getting off the string, they’d have to find new ways to stim.

Sig definitely does the handflaps, kicks his legs, will just stand and spin around if she’s particularly energetic—the more “big” stims, very obvious. (Little note: I tend to bounce between he/she pronouns for Sig, another little fun HC I picked up from a friend!)

Moon flutters her antennae a fair bit (as does Suns, though theirs can move outwards while Moon’s can only move up and down), wiggles around and bounces on her feet—cute full-body stims that aren’t super intense, but still quite obvious.

Suns moreso rotates their antennae around, but has much slower and the most subtle stims. Gently rubs their hands together and such. I honestly don't have as many ideas for them, but hopefully I'll come up with some more soon enough!

Pebbles taps his fingers on things, bounces his leg—fast yet small stims, usually that he tries to play off and hide. I wouldn’t be surprised to catch him spinning a spear around just to busy his hands. Oh, and he moves his antennae a lot—twitches his antennae wildly at pretty much any and every sound or even thought he has.

This idea is mostly because my design for him has extremely long, flexible antennae, but I like to think newer gens are very expressive with their antennae in general (when they have them… sorry Sig), since they’re far more emotionally in tune with themselves than their older counterparts. Moon and Suns struggle to understand their needs and emotions because they were seen as far more “robot” than individuals at their time of creation, plus any need would be immediately attended to by maintenance workers. For newer generations, they develop their personalities and recognise their emotions a lot faster, as a result of being allowed to be far more individual and “alive”, and also a purposeful measure so they can take care of themselves; less work for those lazy ancients! E.g. While Moon and Pebbles both overwork themselves (runs in the family, eh?), Moon is usually a result of not realising how tired she is, while Pebbles is aware but ignores it.

There’s so many ideas I have for this concept, but some main ones are:

Sig and Pebbles helping Moon and Suns unpack their feelings because it comes a lot less naturally to the two

Moon and Suns making an active effort to better learn how to express their feelings (especially romantic) to better emotionally connect with the recipients (Sig and Pebbles)

The conflict potential (that already somewhat shows in canon) of such a difference. E.g. Suns failed to properly communicate on an emotional level resulting in only furthering Pebbles’ anger in the Spearmaster campaign.

But anyways, back to their sleep habits!

The slurred speech, the devolving into basic beeps for communication, saying silly sleepy-nonsense, that’s all totally how I imagine it!

In fact I have a whole scene idea of Sig and Pebbles bonding when Pebbles is very sleepy, and it’s actually the basis of my “Pebbles is a noodlefly” joke. While I’ve yet to draw it, the basis is:

NSH: You know, you remind me a lot of noodleflies. Pink, long face…

FP: Mmm… Rude…

NSH: Oh, quit being so moody. You’re a grouch even when you’re exhausted.

FP: … [Sleepily honks like a noodlefly, in an attempt to prove he can play along with jokes]

NSH: Ha – HA! No way, did you just honk!?

FP: Shhhut up… Too loud…

NSH: Pfft— Sorry, sorry… Get some rest, ya’ noot.

It becomes a big inside joke for the two. On the occasion Sig’s in need of some cheering up, Pebbles will cast aside his pride and honk to make him laugh.

Anyways, back to sleepy-HCs. I imagine iterators needed sleep when attached to their cans, though significantly less. Like any computer, if you leave it running forever, it’ll eventually overheat or begin to wear down–so some down-time is needed! Though that need for rest is significantly more important considering the amount of exertion being used by their puppets. While I headcanon the iterators are remarkably strong given their metal bodies, they’re probably not the most fit given they’ve never gone for a walk in their lives! Until their muscles (whether those be organic, mechanical, or some kind of metal-meat mushy mix!) get used to it, they’re gonna be sore and tired after their first cycles of off-the-string life.

I adore the way you incorporated their models into these headcanons too, I definitely imagine Moon is one of the sleepiest given her older design. And she DEFINITELY holds some guilt there as a result—frankly, my hc-moon tends to struggle with a fair bit of guilt after suddenly becoming what she feels like is a “burden” after so long of being the strongest senior that everyone could lean on. Between her ailments as a result of her collapse (chronic fatigue, sensitivity to stimuli, a vocal glitch, etc.), her general inefficiencies due to being an older design, and her phobias she’s developed after all she's been through (mainly of water and heights), she does need a lot of help. (I might make a little post on my HCs for her post-collapse side effects later! Though I did ramble about her sensory issues a little here if you'd like to see!)

I think generally that’s something they all struggle with. Needs. While thankfully they don't need to worry about needs of food and such, sleep would generally be their most vulnerable state and need (minus emotional needs). Moon needs the most help with sleep (just like your ideas!), and usually goes to Sig for comfort and cuddles, though I like to think she’s quite affectionate with everyone.

Suns and Moon have the most vague relationship in my eyes, so a while back I made it my mission to explore that. Running off of Sig’s dialogue in-game of all the iterators having a rough-stage at the start (that Pebbles supposedly plateaued at), I imagine Suns is just a bit younger than Moon. Moon had had her rough patch (and boy did she have a rough patch… Maybe I’ll explore my emo-phase iterator HCS eventually!), and once Suns came around, she helped them out of theirs. I’ve got a big ol' chunk of HC-lore for Suns’ rough-patch, which in summary: Suns was treated as a gifted kid, had their head filled with “The new and improved! The best of the best!” mindset, and it inflated their ego a lot. They were kind of a prick, over-ambitious, and then they met their ego-death when they tried to lead a large-scale ascension. And failed. It led to many being echoed, and… Yeah. No wonder Suns is such an emotional wreck (lovingly) in the Spearmaster campaign, and relies so heavily on Sig for support and emotional regulation. They thought they had another chance, to help someone they cared so dearly for, and they failed again. That’s also why I imagine Suns tried so hard to try to mentor Pebbles and help him out of his egotistical rough-patch—Suns of all people knows what it’s like to be in that mindset, and wants to save him.

But back to Suns and Moon, it was Moon who helped them pick themself up after all of that. While I don’t ship the two, I feel like they’re good close friends, so she’d give them a little cuddle too! Though usually it's Sig or, when his ego allows it, Pebbles.

I tend to mess around with their dynamics a lot, especially since I’ve been introduced to the idea of a polycule-ship! Combine Trafficlight, Lilypad, Sunstone, and Ragequit, and what do you get? Cute, cuddly chaos! They all have adorable potential, I couldn’t resist sinking into the world of bashing these silly little guys’ faces together like they’re barbie dolls and going “Now kiss!”

Moon I imagine is the comfiest to cuddle; soft, squishy material along her plating makes her perfect teddy-bear material. While she tends to take a more holder role when cuddling her brother Pebbles or good friend Suns, she alternates the most with Sig. Sometimes they both just need to be held, so taking turns works best! The way I’ve designed the two (I really need to draw them properly soon) is that Moon’s more middle-bottom heavy, while Sig’s got a smaller torso, but big clunky hands and feet for some fun stylisation—but it also means those two slot into one another like two perfect little puzzle pieces!

While Moon is the softest, Sig personality-wise is actually the cuddliest. Once he discovers the wonders of physical affection, he’s always holding one of their hands or leaning on them or doing something just to have some contact. He’s got cycles to make up for, after all! Sig completely sinks into Suns’ lap, and (albeit with some wrangling), usually manages to get Pebbles curled up in hers. Another cute thought for Sig is that I imagine he is very interested in bioengineering (I mean, he created the first genetically modified slugcat messenger, it’s quite fitting!), and takes particular interest in observing the other three’s puppets. Take it platonic or romantic, I can see him just tracing the seams of whoever he’s cuddling’s plating and analysing their designs and mechanics and organic aspects before falling asleep.

Suns is, in my mind, the biggest. In my design (I really need to finish their design), they’re sort of an opposite to Moon—far more top-heavy, and also somewhat inspired by lizards! (Ft. fun little back spines that spike up and rattle when Suns is angry or scared) As a result, they’re probably more of a side sleeper, or sometimes on their back so the other can lay on their chest. With Pebbles and Sig, they’ll just hold one of the two in their lap and accidentally fall asleep like that—and it absolutely becomes a “well, you’re trapped now” situation.

Finally, Pebbles. Oh, Pebbles. While he’d never dare admit it, he almost always curls into a little ball like a slugcat, and is perfect to spoon. In my design he’s quite a spindly little guy as a result of being a newer generation, and also the most “animalistic” in design (much to his dismay. Digitigrade legs, a longer snoot-like face. The lot!), so he’s perfect to scoop up in your arms. If he had a mouth though, he would bite you for it. Though slowly, as he lets himself bring down his walls around the others, he definitely starts to welcome being held. Little did he know that’s what he needed all along.

WHEW! Okay I wrote a lot. Clearly I’ve been rotating these characters in my mind like a microwave for far too long, but that's a lil collection of my ideas!

Eventually I want to get around to rambling about my ideas of slugcat culture and how the iterators face that as well (a BIG theme in my TBTBU au~), but for now this seemed like a big collection of my ideas relevant to the sleepy-ators! (with a couple extras in there, because who can resist stimmy-ators?)

I can’t wait to hear more of your ideas and see more of your art, this was such a joy to ramble about and I hope some of them you can enjoy!

RW Headcanon: Goodnight, Moon

AHHH YESSSS, now that that Lilypad essay is done I can FINALLY share these—!

Hey, @ghostlycoze! So you remember a few months ago how I made that drawing acting on the Moon beepsnort headcanon, and how in my last reblog I eluded to the possibility of drawing out some of your headcanons again? Well, it looks like that time has come, and this time I've got not just drawings, but lots of additions to another headcanon of yours!

This time, it's from your tags in these three posts, which I also saw a while ago! Yet for some reason I began thinking about it again recently, and as is my nature with ideas I like, I decided to develop it further, and even draw it this time!

Also, just to preface, you'll see I did a bunch of notes beside the actual drawings as well. I'll share the picture and roughly type out the notes (in case my handwriting is a bit hard to read) as well as whatever info I couldn't fit on the page. Some of the text also just says "robots" rather than "iterators" because some of these ideas are stuff I actually imagine applying to robot characters in general! Maybe I'll make a post on that someday...

With all that out of the way though, the actual headcanon is under the cut! Hope you like it!

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What are iterators like when they’re sleepy? Do they even get “sleepy” the way we humans do? This headcanon answers that question with a focus on the iterators’ puppets. Much of this info is also framed in the context of a hypothetical “worm-off-the-string” scenario, since I believe that’s the main situation where sleep and getting tired would actually matter to the iterators.

Firstly, when iterator puppets are low on power, until they find a place to recharge they usually enter a power-saving state where, to conserve what’s left of it, their energy is temporarily redirected away from some of their less-important processes. The side-effect of this, however, is that iterator puppets show symptoms of drowsiness kinda like humans! Whereas humans may yawn, stretch, or rub their eyes when sleepy, iterators will often make sloppier/less precise movements, close their lenses a little, and may even have a harder time thinking, since they sometimes shut off some processors and other cognitive functions until they can recharge. The most common symptom, however, is slurred speech, coming from less power given to their speech-forming software.

Another very-common sign of iterator sleepiness is frequent beeping, often in place of words. This is because, like slurred speech, beeps take much less energy and processing to make than analyzing data, formulating a complex response, then vocalizing it clearly. Beeps are thus far more efficient for conveying simple emotions and reactions than words. Looks to the Moon in particular gets super beepy when she’s tired because she and other early models relied more on beeps for communication — they were made back when things like vivid emotion weren’t as taboo in Ancient society, and iterators were meant to be more friendly and openly interactive with their citizens — so she’s more used to beeping to easily express her emotions.

As a side-note and mini-headcanon (wow, real headcanon-layering action here), while even the newest iterator puppets can beep, the older iterator models, as a result of this design influence, also have a much greater “beep-vocabulary” with a wider range of sounds that shrunk with the generations. Their beeps are thus a lot more expressive as well, with some sounds even being similar in nature to animal noises or regular speech! I imagine the entire range of their beeps would closely resemble shorter versions of the “droidspeak” sounds of the astromechs in Star Wars.

But, back to sleepy iterators.

When it’s hibernation time, iterators enter a “sleep-mode”, where almost all of their systems are shut down and recharging becomes the primary objective. However, compared to how I imagine other robots, iterator puppets have a unique way of recharging. Rather than shutting off completely and absorbing power from an external source, iterator puppets have a few key systems within them that remain on even during sleep-mode. These systems, just like those in their superstructures, are capable of converting nutrients into power directly. They emit a soft, rather comforting whirr while the puppets sleep — the only sound iterators make while sleeping, and comparable in nature to stomach sounds during digestion. Otherwise, though, the only other systems remaining on during sleep-mode are a few basic senses, and a program that decides when to “wake up”. The presence of this program also means, uniquely to iterators again, they can wake up on their own, rather than having to be powered back on by someone else like other robots. Overall, these systems are yet another aspect of iterator designs that make them far more biological than many iterators (*cough* *cough* Pebbles *cough*) would like to admit. And in my imaginings of a “worm-off-the-string” AU, systems like these are one of the main sources of both physical and internal conflict for these characters.

Also, since most of their systems are off during sleep mode, iterators sleep, both figuratively and literally, like statues. Whatever position they fall asleep in is the position they remain in the entire time unless a.) someone moves them or b.) they wake up and move on their own. This also means (unfortunately, if you thought these ideas would be cute) that iterators do not snore, shift around, sleepwalk, sleep-talk, or dream while in sleep mode.

That’s about it for this headcanon as it applies to iterator puppets overall. Now, I’m gonna get into how I imagine Looks to the Moon specifically likes to sleep.

In addition to getting very beepy, Moon also gets very cuddly when sleepy, though some of this comes from her affectionate personality. However, it's also due to a lasting trauma from her collapse. Of course she's learned to tolerate the rain over time, yet after spending so many cycles being rapidly drowned over and over in her can — with endless disorientation and senses so out-of-control from being disconnected from most of her superstructure, no one around to comfort her save for the occasional wandering creature, and the knowledge that her own beloved brother was responsible for this — it’s still left a fair amount of bad memories with her, especially from those cycles most recently after her collapse/revival, and this general unease often resurfaces with the sound of the rain. Therefore, whenever the rain comes, this trauma serves as another, more internal reason Looks to the Moon always wants to fall asleep holding onto/being held by someone, or at the very least while sharing the shelter with someone she loves.

On a more positive note, since I’m now officially a Lilypad shipper, I imagine that No Significant Harassment is Moon’s default choice of cuddling partner! It can be a little hard to get in position — I imagine Moon always likes to be the little spoon despite her being slightly taller than him — but they manage! Moon pretty much always falls asleep first, because, as the oldest model of the group, and having sustained the most damage post-collapse on top of that, she simply doesn’t use power as efficiently as the others do and therefore gets tired much more easily. In some ways, the poor thing even feels a little guilty about it; she’s supposed to be the leader of this group, and yet here she is, tiring out after less travel and growing drowsy before the rain even starts! Luckily, Sig makes an effort to ensure her she’s more-than worth keeping around, because after every awful thing the world has thrown at her kindness, the least she deserves is some quality guilt-free nap time! And sometimes, if they want a little alone-time (or if Pebbles gets too fed-up with their lovey-dovey gestures), it’ll be just the two of them, and perhaps their slugcats, cuddling together in the shelter.

And speaking of slugcats, Moon’s second choice of cuddles is Rivulet! Being very soft, warm, and equally cuddly, she makes another good source of cuddles for Moon. And sometimes, if Hunter’s also around and willing, the two join forces with Sig and Hunter for a big, soft, cuddle-filled slumber party!

Still, though, Sig is definitely no. 1 provider of snuggles for Moon. But he loves her dearly, so for the most part he doesn’t mind! Since she falls asleep first, some of his favorite moments each cycle are from just watching her and holding her close as the rainfall echoes from outside; she always looks so beautiful when she’s relaxed, and having her in his arms makes him feel like he can protect her no matter what. So he never really minds when Moon, slurring her words, tiredly asks for him to hold her while she enters sleep mode.

That is, except when this happens and he’s stuck in that spot for the next several hours…

A few more ideas to this headcanon:

Moon’s third choice of cuddles is Five Pebbles. It’s a bit interesting, because in basically all other scenarios Pebbles insists on sleeping alone in a separate shelter, even though he’s actually rather touch-starved (though it'll be a while before he admits it). Moon is one of the only people he’s actually willing to sleep with, besides occasionally Artificer (in which the feeling is mutual and no one else must be in the room). If I someday decide to ship Pebbles with someone, I imagine he’d also be willing to sleep with them, again, only if no one else is around to see it.

To elaborate on the last point and shift to Five Pebbles’ perspective, the reason why Pebbles always wants to sleep alone is because, as I imagine the worm-off-the-string story so far, Pebbles’ biggest internal conflicts are learning to accept all those “worldly attachments” the Ancients so strongly rejected, and overcoming his god-complex and fear of relying on others. And one of the main ways this manifests is him being so deeply embarrassed to be dealing with these basic survival needs — like yet another one of the savage beasts roaming the world, after having been a vast mechanical god so far above those primitive creatures — that he refuses to let others, even his friends and family, observe him in such a “pitiful” state whenever possible, and resolves to try and overcome it alone.

To further continue this idea, this is why Moon sometimes insists on sleeping with him. Even though he’ll have to overcome these conflicts on his own, it doesn’t mean he has to be alone while he does it. She makes an effort during these and other moments in this scenario to assure him that it’s okay, no one’s gonna judge or punish him for living this way, and she’ll always be there if he ever decides to accept some help. Pebbles always falls asleep with his head buried in her chest and holding onto her very tightly.

The iterators often like to sleep with their slugcats, who in the AU also stick around a lot to help guide them as they figure out the ins-and-outs of organic survival.

Both Moon and Pebbles tend to sleep in a curled position. It's actually very similar to how slugcats generally sleep!

Pebbles is quite the workaholic in general, but it also means he has a hard time falling asleep — not because he doesn’t get sleepy, but rather that he often denies it or its significance in an attempt to get more done that cycle (and because, again, he’s “too advanced” for animalistic things like sleeping). The group often has to literally drag him to bed to get him to sleep, and Sig often teases him when his lenses start drooping and his syllables begin to stretch.

In extreme cases, where almost all of their power has been exhausted, iterators won't just slur their words anymore, but their speech will often lose coherency overall, like a spoken case of very drunk typing .

When sleepy, Moon not only slurs her words, but has a tendency to say rather strange and very silly things. It’s another side-effect of less power being used to actually think through her words. There have been many instances where the whole group erupted in laughter after Moon made a really out-of-left-field comment!

Oh, and here's one last quick doodle based off one of the ones above:

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Aaaand that's all for another headcanon! Even though it took me a whole week to do the drawings, it was SO fun getting to develop this idea, especially since sleepy Moonie is such a cute concept! I am so glad that you shared that little idea, Ghost!!

And speaking of which, if you've made it all the way down here, Ghost, may I invite you to add any more ideas to all this, if you want? I'd especially love hearing ideas for the other iterators' sleeping habits (how fast they get tired, what position they like to sleep in, who they usually sleep with, how they wind down before bed, etc.)! I mainly focused on Moon and a bit of Pebbles at the end, since I'm still trying to get a read on Sig and Suns's personalities (especially Suns), so it'd be fun to even further expand on this idea in that regard! Of course, you don't have to, but it's a proposition!

But regardless, I hope you and anyone else who made it to the bottom enjoyed my contributions to the idea! And be sure to keep the adorable headcanon ideas coming!!

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Bonus: Here are the full sketchbook pages, in case anyone was interested in seeing the completed layout! I think I'm gonna be making more of these kinds of drawing/explanation combo artworks!3

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nevertheless-moving · 4 years ago

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thanks again to @dykerory and @willowcrowned for this genius au. this is an incomplete collection of very specific set of headcanons/daydreams i had about a tangential version of your au that made me emotional in the middle of the woods. whenever you feel the time is right, i’m very eager to hear your og version on the ‘but obi-wan, tho!’, because i admittedly pushed this one’s resolution really far chronologically because i wanted batman to be involved.

continuation from here

note: my understanding of dcu is as sporadically informed as my understanding of the gffa.

newly graduated clark kent gets his first journalism job and starts settling more and more into the superman thing. the rest of the justice league has been around but his entrance onto the scene is the one that really inspires the various heroes to actually start coordinating to deal with the weirdness magnet that is dcu Earth. Clark is in his early 20s. Anakin is in his late 30s.

He’s been living on Earth, without the force, for nearly 2/3rds of his life. He has a close knit circle of friends who were kind to him even when they thought he was just a weird and crazy emo cult victim (the gradual increase of public encounters with aliens and superpowers sparks some awkward apologies, Anakin at 38 just waves his friends off, smiling and changing the subject, neither confirming nor denying his high school ramblings of spaceships and magic. it doesn’t really change anything).

He lives an hour’s drive from smallville, and runs a successful auto shop. people travel from pretty far to check out some of his more wild and specialized motorcycle abominations. makes enough money selling them to rich idiots to fund his free auto-class and auto-repair programs for impoverished communities.

It took a while but he eventually came around to the idea of helping people without physical force (ironically, this is happening around the same time Clark is coming to the realization that he can help people with physical force). Generally respected as a pillar of the community. When people start to realize how profoundly weird he is as a person in a number of inexplicable ways, someone will generally pull them aside and quietly whisper that he was in a cult at a child, no one really knows much about it except that it’s what inspired his anti-modern-slavery work, which is a little telling. Not married. Was in a long-term relationship for like 9 years. It didn’t end well but no-one knows the details.

Has several cats.

He’s- wistful but settled. He’s been through a lot of therapy. He meditates every morning and night, clearing his mind and examining his emotions in the way Obi-Wan taught him. He thinks Obi-Wan would be proud of him. He know his Mom would be.

Once he gets used to the idea, he never really stops loving the concept of learning just because. Duel bachelors degree in in african american history and american literature, masters in engineering, masters in astrophysics a phd in theoretical physics, another phd in medieval folklore. He’s worked a lot of jobs.

He was already pretty well versed in astronavigation back at the temple. Over the course of his time on earth, he gets more educated in earth astronomy and physics. With is increased knowledge, his theory for ‘how did i get here’ shifts from slight hyperdrive miscalculation, to big hyperdrive miscalculation, to some sort of hyperlane incident. he realizes that none of the stars he knows are familiar in any NASA database. He must be beyond wildspace, which helps him let go of the last bit of hurt he felt that Obi-Wan never found him.

Then he really learns physics- and- light doesn’t exactly work like that right? He thought it was just primitive Earth understanding but... he gets a phd more or less accidentally, trying and failing to disprove that the speed of life is constant constant.

Get’s another even more accidentally, explaining how alternate universes might form if we assume slightly different universal constants. He publishes his thesis anonymously around the same time metas are becoming a household term, and at least one science journalist speculates on it and how alternate universes might explain the increasing prevalence of wildly different superpowers. He doesn’t claim credit for the honorary diploma awarded to the unknown theorist- he doesn’t want to risk drawing any attention to him and by extension Clark, who’s alien differences are far more of the ‘military experiment interesting’ variety then his.

He stops tinkering with Clark’s ship. He finally gets how it works. Now that he realizes how FTL travel has to work in this universe, tinkering with the mechanical generation and harnessing of the massive quantities of energy necessary to do is startlingly familiar. But it doesn’t matter. No matter how far and fast he travels, he’s never going to be able to get back to the life he used to know.

Perhaps this is what being the chosen one actually means- he’s meant to live a life without the force, so that when he returns to it in death he’ll be able to somehow...educate? the force? maybe?

Ok, he’s not great at the metaphysical spiritual side of things, but he does accept that going back is out of his control, and he’s doing good here, even if it’s not galaxy altering.

Despite all the therapy, he never doubts that his early life was real. He has his saber and deep, deep down he can feel a spark in the kyber. He can’t do anything with it, but it’s there. There’s also pieces of the utter wreck that was his ship in the cellar, next to the sleek unblemished pod that Clark arrived in. Shortly before Clark becomes Superman, he asks for his help in melting down his old ship to make unearthly alloys.

He’s not surprised when Clark tells him he met a ‘real’ ‘magic’ user- it stands to reason that considering how relatively easy it is to convert energy from one form to another in this universe (Clark can fly), at least one kind would bend to sentient willpower in a similar way as the force does.

It’s still a little nervewracking showing his lightsaber to someone new for the first time in a decade. Zantana scrutinizes, bewildered.

“There is some sort of power locked within, but it’s unfamiliar to me,” she admits finally. “I could probably brute force it and force the energy to release itself, but it would likely destroy the container.” Anakin politely refuses.

Later, after the justice league’s formation, Clark mentions to J’onn that he has a friend who might be able to work on his ship. J’onn is extremely doubtful when he’s brought to a bizarre autoshop in the midwest that looks half-like a roadside attraction. Anakin sighs and digs his hands into the guts of the craft, muttering incomprehensibly and yelling at clark to melt down some pieces from the special scrap pile. A few days later he explains the patches he’s done to an impressed J’onn. When he asks how a human came to learn such things, he’s absently informed that,

“I used to work in a junkshop in Tatooine. All sorts of ship parts came through.”

“I’m unfamiliar with this world.”

“Tell you what, if you ever meet anyone who’s heard it of it, send them my way, and I’ll make your next repair free.”

“Oh! I’m afraid I don’t have any earth money...”

“Ugh, of course you don’t. it’s cool, capitalism sucks anyway and everyone’s entitled to free transportation, regardless of the area they happen to live. I do ask that if you can’t pay for the repairs that you spend an equivalent number of hours either attending one of my free auto classes, or volunteer at a community-led charities of your choice, here I’ll get you a pamphlet-”

So the Martian Manhunter becomes a weekly volunteer at a Midwestern Food Waste Reclamation Facility. J’onn J’onzz ends up becoming Anakin Skywalker’s friend well before he becomes comes truly comfortable around Kal-El. For a telepath, 39 year old Anakin’s Jedi orderly mind is a soothing relief.

(again, Anakin has spent far more time meditating on Earth then he ever did at the temple. Before all this, spent five years dutifully memorizing the Jedi way even as he struggled to live up it’s basic practices. For the first few years on earth, religiously practicing every meditation technique Obi-Wan ever taught him, thinking obsessively about the philosophies he never had time to really process, is just a desperate attempt to reconnect with the force, prove himself worthy of it. But even after he gives up on ever touching the force again, he keeps up the practice, he can’t release his emotions exactly, but he does find peace. The tendency to stop mid-rant to earnestly pronounce made up zen bullshit and then sit quietly for an hour before picking up on his tirade again as though there was no interruption is one of the things many things people find profoundly weird about him)

Kal-El doesn’t stop asking new aliens and dimensional travelers if they’ve ever heard of Coruscant, or Hutts, or the Jedi Order. Anakin might have given up, but Superman remembers his older brother scrubbing away his own tears to focus on helping Clark calm down enough to touch the floor again. The more the Kryptonian’s powers developed in alarming ways, the more Anakin set aside talk of missing his home galaxy. Anakin might have claimed it wasn’t like that, but Clark was determined to take every chance his increasingly weird life threw at him, no matter how vanishingly small.

In the middle of his first battle with Braniac, Clark starts insulting his incomplete database. The world collector pauses, demanding a more precise explanation. Clark complies, giving his best technical description of Coruscant’s cityscape, Tatooine’s binary star system, and so on. Braniac is so distracted that Superman recovers completely from his kryptonite poisoning and easily saves the day.

Neither the lantern corp or the denizens of the neutral zone have the answers. Superman doesn’t mention it it Anakin, but he never stops looking and listening.

“How did you even meet that guy?” Flash asks curiously after stopping to say hello on one of their after work laps of the country.

“Aliens among us support group,” Kal-El responds deadpan.

“Oh. Wait, what? He’s an alien? I thought he was from the future or something! You’re messing with me. No way that’s a thing. How many people are in the support group? This is a joke, right?”

“Sorry, most of them aren’t out and I don’t want to violate their privacy- a lot of them have high profile jobs. How do you think I met J’onn?”

“SUPES I’M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW YOU’VE GOTTA STOP”

Anakin is just sort of vaguely known by a solid chunk of the super community as ‘that one midwestern zen space mechanic’ and no one really questions it because everyone’s life has just gotten so goddamn weird. A few of them know he used to be a space wizard of some kind. Space wizards now being a regular hazard of life on earth, no one has reason to doubt this, and it’s as good an explanation as any for Anakin’s general vibe.

well. almost no one doubts this. Batman does not simply accept Anakin’s general bullshittery without carefully investigating and drawing his own conclusions. He does not share these with anyone.

But one day Clark- this is well after Superman became Kal-El to him, and not long after Kal-El tells him to call him Clark- comes up to him and asks for his help finding about an alternate universe. Knowing and dreading where this is going, Batman stalls,

“Shouldn’t you be asking one of the league members who regularly travels between universes?”

“I have, over the years,” Clark admits, awkwardly scuffing a boot on the floor of the cave. “But no one’s familiar with the exact one I’m looking for, and I thought since you’re a detective, and also one of the smartest people I know, you might be able to help me...”

“You’re an investigator yourself, and you can survive the vacuum of space,” Bruce shoots back flatly. “I’ve told you before Gotham is my priority, and this has ‘personal project’ all over it.”

“Come on, B, please,” Superman pleads, trailing Batman around the cave like an overgrown puppy. “In a few months it will have been 30 years! He’s my brother! Just let me see the research you’ve already done!”

“Who says I’ve already done research on your brother?”

Clark shoots him a look. And Bruce concedes the point with a grunt.

“I’ll need need to talk with him first,” Bruce finally concedes. “Bring him by the cave. Take the-”

“Take the tunnel entrance, I know, I know,” Clark agrees with a grin. “This doesn’t mean he’s authorized to know your secret identity. Thanks Bruce, this means a lot. I’ll ask him tomorrow about his schedule.”

Superman flies off and Batman scrubs his face with a gloved hand. After a moment he pulls up Anakin’s file on the main monitor. Bruce honestly respects and likes the man, as much as he respects and likes anyone who’s not family. He admires his sense his style, appreciates his upgrades to the batmobile, and is impressed by both this civil rights work and his additions to the scientific community.

That doesn’t mean he’s not convinced that Anakin’s brother is a bit insane. Again, he’s not judging! He dresses like a bat to scare random henchmen and beat up actual demigods! He wishes his rogues gallery was as capable of directing their ptsd-inspired delusions and staggering intellects towards such productive pursuits!

Bruce was already in quiet awe of the Kent’s ability to raise an outrageously superpowered being without blowing up a chunk of the country; their success in derailing a supervillian origin story just puts him over the edge. He stares at the three most likely profiles he’s pulled together. Christen Jones, from a negligent family, death certificate filled out suspicously sloppily at age 3. Earl Lucas, went missing at age 9, both parents dead in a violent assault. And Jake Hayden, who at age 5 disappeared along with the rest of his family in a seismic accident later linked to Luthercorp.

Anyone of them could have suffered on the streets for years and coped by establishing an elaborate fantasy world, aided by self medication, only to eventually be picked up by the Kent’s and start healing. Certainly Anakin had the intellect to create worlds in his mind. All his rogues were smart enough to create their own little realities in their heads- it doesn’t mean they were actually reachable.

Unfortunately Anakin had a Kryptonian younger brother who was determined to actually find the space wizard knight homeworld, even as the 'Jedi’ in question had slowly moved away his reliance on the delusion as an adult. Batman really didn’t see any way bringing up his conclusions to Anakin or Clark could possibly be helpful, and so many alien allies had a ‘If you find about the Jedi please contact Kal-El of Krypton on Earth’ pamphlet that it would be excruciatingly awkward to try and discretely correct anyone.

Bruce was not looking forward to this conversation.

#star wars #star wars au #dc #crossover #batman #anakin skywalker #corn boy anakin au

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earl-grey-love · 2 years ago

Text

Excuse me this little discussion about what's on my mind. It is relevant to my blog but it's also personal. No content warnings needed. (skip to "long story short" if you want the tldr)

So ever since I started college in January, my ability to be creative went like 📉. Now I get by on basically the bare minimum which is the rare RP or rambled discussion about SIs, plots or developments (mostly in private). This has shown on my blog. I made hardly any meaningful posts about my ships, SIs or F/Os, aside from small stuff like how I wanna snuggle or lil tag rambles about how pretty they are. These are fine, wonderful in fact, but they don't really do much for me. They don't make me feel happy or satisfied.

I've kinda just been feeding off these tidbits for months and months. Heck, there was even a time where I didnt even talk in the tags (really out of character). Due to this I've essentially lost all the spark and passion I had for self shipping. Which is strange because my feelings for my f/os remain as strong as they have always been.

The lack of this spark has made me feel like I should just pack in my blog and move on. And yes, I did try that. But that only made me depressed. It clearly wasn't the answer. So I kinda sat with this "I wanna be here but idk what I'm doing here" feeling for a long time since.

Coupled with this is the feeling that I need to create ship content. I should be writing fics. I should be making moodboards. I should be posting detailed lore/themes/ideas/plots about my ships. I should be making time for my f/os even though I'm exhausted.

I've cried about it actually. It's so frustrating because I know I don't have to make those things to properly love my f/os, but the fact is I really want to make that kind of content. I want to do all those things and more. Yet I've struggled with the fact that I can't because after college and assignments, and social/family time and adult responsibilities, I have basically no energy left. Especially since I'm disabled too and that's a whole ton of energy expended trying to maintain my additional needs too. The only "spare" time I've really had for self shipping is either during self-care moments or right before I go to sleep or get up in the morning. It sucks.

(especially since my f/os help me cope)

I thought I was okay with this. Like it was some small thing that sucked but I could learn to live with. But something changed. I made that stardew profile. It was the first time in a really, really long time where I actually made something purely for myself. And God it felt good. It made me realise how important making things is for me. I need to create to be happy. It's not something I can really go without. I mean I can, but I'll be fucking miserable.

After that I had the spark again. The desire to create and share. I've been coming up with all kinds of stuff that I'd stopped thinking about. Like yesterday in the shower I made up this whole angel themed magical girl purely for fun. Then I wanted to draw her but I didn't have time. I was okay with that though because I had created her anyway and it was fun. I had stopped doing things for fun. I had fallen into the capitalist mindset of productivity. But no more.

Long story short, I really want to create again. I don't have the time or the energy I used to have, so I need to adapt to that. Make smaller but no less special things. Talk about the stuff I usually think isn't worth talking about, like my idea for that stardew character. Maybe I go nowhere with it or nobody cares for it, but at least I have fun.

On top of this I'm also trying to figure out if I actually want to continue academics into University (sociology) or dedicate my life to what I always valued most, art (creative writing degree). Creative writing was my original plan but I thought doing it for a career or studies would sap the passion out of it. Instead I learnt that not being creative saps the passion out of me.

#something something talking about myself is part of my recovery too #I know this is long and a little rambly but it means a lot to me #sunny speaks

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multi-lefaiye · 3 years ago

Note

ive been rotating what little i know about Alekto Cudaas in my mind since yesterday and would please like to hear More (no pressure tho)

thank you,,,, you are in luck because Alekto is the character in CUDAAS that i rotate around in my mind the most and at the highest velocity!! 9/10 times when i'm thinking about this story, i'm probably just thinking about Alekto in some way asdjfk;l

ok idk how long this gets,,, i'm so sorry nico u may have unleashed a Monster. so i'll type this up and if i need to i will put it under a cut <3

CW: implied/referenced physical abuse and discussion of romance!

anyway so! Alekto! my beloved!!!! they originally were, like. very much a background character i made to round out the world a bit, but then i thought more about the three character traits i gave them and went "wait there's actually something interesting here." so now they're one of the main POV characters. <3

okay i'm not quite sure how much i wanna ramble because this is still in pretty early development, but i'll share some Alekto Facts™ and elaborate on some things from the powerpoint.

so Alekto is a very gentle character for the most part. they've seen a LOT of violence and cruelty in their time, and they've had a lot of it directed at themself (even from other guardians in their original flock). so as a result they're loathe to show that same cruelty to anyone else, and they won't engage in violence unless absolutely necessary.

that doesn't mean they can't kick the shit out of someone if needed, though! Alekto is very small but very physically strong, and they've learned to use their magic (which is more defensive) to fight if they need.

'cause that's a thing i haven't really talked about much!!!! guardians each have some magic, and usually it differs from guardian to guardian and is highly specialized. wildlings have magic, too, but theirs isn't as specialized and not always unique to each wildling.

Alekto's magic specifically is that they can create shields out of pure energy, essentially little forcefields. and though that is a defensive power they've gotten creative and figured out how to use it in a fight to their advantage.

for example, like... i have this scene in mind with Alekto and Narkissos sparring, and their magic is meant to complement each other's (Narkissos can do essentially the same thing they can, but he makes blades instead of shields), which means they're uniquely able to counter each other in a way most can't. also Alekto is strong enough that they can just. pick Narkissos up and fucking throw her, despite her being a solid foot taller.

okay physical stuff aside, one thing i really like about Alekto is that they are deeply fascinated with life and the act of creation. to most guardians, creation is something reserved for the gods, so Alekto's love for art could, in a way, be considered an insult to their creator. and i think that could partly be why they like it--not because they view themself as a god or because they view the gods as inferior, but because they just love to create and breathe life into things in a metaphorical sense.

Alekto paints, draws, sculpts, weaves... they just love to make things!!! it's their favorite thing to do and it helps them relax and be happy more than anything else does. they don't usually share a lot of their creations, but they just like makin' em.

i have this idea of like... either as an AU or maybe something later in the series, but Alekto would love being an art teacher. just something to think about <3

okay this is a little long but uhhh the last thing i will talk a little about is Alekto's relationship with Hekate!!! because that's kinda what spurred this into an actual story.

SO yeah i'm not being subtle at all but Hekate and Alekto's relationship eventually becomes romantic as the story continues!!! but the romance isn't the reason why it's so important to me: it's important because it's the catalyst for both of them to change dramatically as people, and also because i just feel so Soft™ for them,,,,

Alekto and Hekate's relationship is defined primarily by acts of service and helping each other. it starts really small, but soon it becomes a huge theme with them. Alekto feels like their purpose in life is to be useful to others and help them, and they have a lot of issues letting others help them with anything or showing any kind of vulnerability, because in their old flock that would result in them being punished harshly. but then Hekate comes along, and over time he becomes the first person they open up to and show vulnerability around.

a lot of Alekto's character arc, aside from realizing how fucked up the system they exist in is and wanting to change it for the better, centers around them learning to be vulnerable and allow others to help them.

i do really want to write this one scene i've had in mind for a while that's just... Alekto saves Hekate, and as they're healing him he asks them teasingly, "When will it be my turn to help you?" and they don't have an answer for that </3 but it's a really important moment and a bit of a turning point,,,,

okay thank you sorry for how long this is, i just love Alekto with my whole heart <3

to wrap things up. here is a meme that sums up where i think Alekto's character arc is going after book one.

[Image Description: A screenshot of a question and answer from Yahoo Answers (?). The question reads: "Are you tired of being nice?" and the follow-up reads: "Don't you just want to go ape shitt" End ID.]

#talk to the bunnykitty #chaotic queer disaster #cudaas #thank you i love talking about alekto cudaas #alekto cudaas #yeah that's their tag for now ASDFJK;L #helekto #that's the tag for them and hekate <3 yeah

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darkmindsotome · 3 years ago

Text

Soap and Sun

Title: Soap and Sun

Fandom: Love365 Masquerade Kiss

Pairing: Yazuru Shiba x MC

Word count: 3,464

Warning: NSFW Smut

Written by: darkmindsotome

Summary: When a long awaited date threatens to derail under the summer sun a spur of the moment idea triggers an even steamer time together than planned.

Tagging @voltage-vixen as requested. Prompt #9: Car Wash Featuring the MC/LI as the Sponge

---

When I thought of summer in London, I hadn’t thought of much else other than spending some quality time with my boyfriend.

He’d been playing the part of visiting lecturer at his old alma mater, Oxford University. His curriculum was well thought out and methodical, just like the man himself. Every time I was been able to catch one it was like attending a sell-out concert. I was always blown away by how he could turn a baffling topic into something easier to understand. In the end, you were never left feeling like you were stupid and it was amazing to watch him in his element. A true genius craftsman with genuine love and passion for his work.

Still, I would have liked to have seen him a bit more than I currently was. Silently chastising myself for the selfishness of that thought I tried to push it aside. I was once more in England and as per our agreement, we were on a date. That alone was enough to re-energise me.

It wasn’t much but we had decided to go for a drive in one of his cherished Bugattis. The sleek lines of it cut through the English countryside like a hot knife through butter. This was the kind of escape he liked. It wasn’t any more rushed than he wanted it to be. Just him, the open road, and his car. I watched with relief from the passenger seat as I could see the layers of stress and fatigue melt away from him.

“Are you sure this is all you wanted to do?” He had his usual blank poker face on as he asked. The only thing giving away how sceptical he was, was his tone.

“Yeah. I enjoy spending time with you Yuzu. I don’t really mind what we are doing as long as we can be together.” The answer came quickly to me and I enjoyed the brief moment where I could see his stoic mask slip and get a glimpse under it.

“You can be very direct at times.” He sighed.

“Does it bother you?” I didn’t candy coat things when talking to him. I had tried that when were first became an item and found out the hard way that subtle approaches would not be to anyone’s benefit in this relationship.

“No.” There was a faint smile on his face whether he was aware of it or not.

A comfortable silence fell over the interior of the car as it twisted and turned down roads that were becoming increasingly more rural and isolated.

“Where are we going anyway?” I decided to break the silence and ask as it had been about twenty minutes now and there was still no clue as to where Yuzu had planned on taking me. When I suggested just going for a drive and he had agreed, I thought he would have a destination in mind, not just aimlessly driving around the rural backroads of England for the afternoon.

“You’ll see when we get there.” I watched his dashing profile my eyes naturally falling to the strong hands the gripped the leather wheel. Those slightly rough calloused fingers I adored and missed so much, flexing against the wheel I was suddenly jealous of. Averting my eyes back to the passing scenery I tried to push away the ideas that would send me into dangerous waters.

Tall old trees lit up with the sun produced a mottled canopy of light as Yuzuru expertly drove his car through a nearly completely hidden entrance from the main road onto a small dirt track. For a car not designed to be an off-roader, the ride was still smooth. I found myself wondering if that was a testament to the Italian engineering or his driving. A smile came naturally to my face and I couldn’t stop it. Before I met Yuzuru the idea of engineering, cars, driving… any of it would have been far from my mind. Now the ideas came to me easily. He really had changed me.

“What is it? You have a grin on your face.” He frowned.

“Am I not allowed to be happy when I’m with you.” I teased watching as his expression relaxed once more.

“As long as it’s only with me. We’re here.”

He stopped the car in a clearing that was right next to the three S’s old school hideout. The shabby little cottage stood there in the overgrown garden looking like something from a fairytale. It was just as I remembered it the first time I saw it with him.

“What happened to ‘no girls allowed'?” I couldn’t help but ask, surprised by his choice of destination.

“You would rather go somewhere else?” He still had the keys to the car in one hand and the handle of the door in the other. He was looking at me with those dark eyes scanning me like code on a screen.

“No, it’s just why here?” I didn’t really have a location for our date in mind I had decided to leave it up to him. That didn’t mean I wasn’t a little shocked by his choice.

“I wanted to show you something. You remember that old failed power supply?” His hand fell from the door allowing it to partly close on us both in the vehicle.

“The hyrdo—” I started to answer only to be cut off.

“Hydraulic turbine.” For some reason, he looked bashful. A man who didn’t show much emotion was looking at me with a faint blush making my heart skip in my chest. “I got it working and I thought- I wanted you to be the first to see it.”

“Really?!” I was stunned.

“I’ve never known someone to get so happy over such things.” He chuckled.

I had assumed he would be showing his success to his two best friends before me. I was perhaps a little too excited to find something where I topped the list of people ahead of Kazuomi or Kei when it came to Yuzuru and his work.

“You’re one to talk Mr Space Screws.” I tried to distract from my over the top reaction by childishly reminding him of when he got so passionately attached to something it nearly ruined a date.

“True. Come on it's over here.” My childish retort didn’t work. He didn’t react to it at all and simply nodded accepting what I said as the facts they were and exited the car leaving me to scramble behind him to catch up.

A small waterway near the rear of the cottage was sparkling in the sunlight. The fresh clear water was turning the fossil-like shell structure I had seen on my last visit. Watching it spinning it looked even more amazing than before.

What once could have been little more than a garden sculpture was now functioning. Scooping up water and cascading it between its two halves speeding it up and pushing it out in a strong even flow.

“I can’t believe you got it to work.” I was mesmerised watching the two halves turning the craftsmanship of the original I had seen had been adjusted to something more streamlined and very much in keeping with the minimalist nature of its creator.

“It wasn’t easy. The stream here isn’t very large so I had to calculate the flow rate and adjust the design to accommodate it. Amping up the flow inside the device allows for more energy to be produced and stored so power is produced. Then there was customising the old generator for the cottage to take the charge and convert it for use.” He was explaining and becoming the animated Yuzu I remembered. He was a man typically of few words but give him a topic he loved then his passion would allow him to ramble on for hours.

“It’s wonderful.” The words barely left my mouth before the spinning shells in front of us gave an ear-piercing shriek and ground to a halt. “What happened?”

“I think one of the bolts might have slipped its casing. Or maybe…” Yuzuru was already moving from my side towards his creation before pausing to look back at me his posture slumping as he mentally chastised himself for losing focus on our date. “Sorry, I-”

“It’s fine. You want me to go make a cup of coffee while you figure it out?”

With my reassurance that I accepted his desire to correct the problem he nodded and fell silent. It might not be how I wanted the day to play out but this was the man I loved and it wasn’t like we weren’t together. Draping his jacket over a nearby branch as he bent over his invention inspecting it.

His passion came with an extreme immersive focus. It was one of the things I found endearing about him. How he showed me glimpses of himself where his guard dropped. This was Yuzu in his element. The kid in the candy store. I went inside the cottage removing the door key from its hiding spot under a planter.

Time ticked by the hours of the sun passing with every stroke of the hand on the clock. It might be a part of him I was used to by now but it didn’t mean that I wasn’t a little bored. Exercising to kill time in this heat was not my idea of fun. Still, my body felt kind of itchy wanting to move. I was washing up the cups when my eyes fell on the Bugatti parked outside and I had an idea.

Yuzuru normally paid a valet to clean it. Maintaining its showroom condition was something of a source of pride to him as an owner. It couldn’t hurt to give it a little wipe down myself right? I could get rid of the dust on it and cool off in the process.

The lukewarm water swayed in the bucket as I carried it outside. I had found a new sponge and even some car shampoo in a cupboard. It was several years old but it was going to be better than trying to use dish soap.

I hooked my hair up high at the back and pinned it there with a couple of chopsticks I found in a draw in the kitchen. I’d already abandoned my dress in favour of a pair of shorts and a t-shirt I found in Yuzu’s old bedroom. I had to pull the drawstring at the waist to get the shorts to fit and the shirt was massive. Rolling the hem, I knotted it at the back turning it into a makeshift crop top. Happy with the adjustments to my wardrobe I plunged my hands into the bucket and got to work.

The soap lathered quickly oozing between my fingers as I squished the sponge and carried it over to the car.

It took some time but the turbine was once more turning freely and working. He frowned as he looked at his watch, thankful for its water resistance and realising how much time had passed. This was supposed to be a date and here he was once more lost in his own world. As he walked back to the cottage, he only hoped Mc hadn’t gotten so bored with him that she’d left.

Musing over the fact that he wouldn’t blame her if that was the case he stumbled upon a rare sight and his heart skipped such a beat it felt like it had landed in his throat. Mc dressed in his old school gym gear, his car and one of the most dazzling impromptu foam parties he’d ever thank a God for providing.

For all the fact it wasn’t the first time I’d ever washed a car before I still forgot how hard it was to reach all the parts of the roof. No matter how hard I stretched I kept coming in contact with the side of the wet soapy Bugatti and not actually reaching the missing points on the roof with my outstretched hand and sponge.

It wasn’t until a hand enveloped mine taking the sponge from it that I even noticed Yuzu was back.

“What are you doing?” His question felt absurd so I decided to joke.

“Hunting elephants.” I tried to turn only to find myself pinned to the side of the car by him. His tall frame easily overpowering me. “I’ll ask you the same what are you doing?”

“I thought you were trying to tempt me. I’m just playing along.” His mouth was hovering near my ear and the grip on my hip was flexing like his hands had done before on the steering wheel. Large strong hands began kneading at my body like it was pasta dough.

Shamelessly I went limp against him. The weather was too hot for me to bother thinking of fighting back as usual. Our little games of cat and mouse we both enjoyed was a distant idea for another day. I let his hand travel further round to the ties at my waist, those skilled fingers loosening the shorts with ease.

All the time I remained “helplessly” pinned to the car by his body and his other hand sliding up my arm and pulling the chopsticks from my hair letting it tumble free.

“So compliant. That’s not like you at all.” He gave a dark chuckle that sent a chill down my spine. I couldn’t let that go and turned to give him a piece of my mind.

“I’ll have you know I--” Words died the instant I met that dry ice gaze. His dark eyes were an inky black reflecting only me and all hope I had of putting up a front with him melted in that passionate heat.

“You what?” He held me frozen in place that smirk on his lips felt very like him at a time like this. Yuzu always became a tease when things were taking a steamy turn. “You know you missed several spots?”

He pulled back his heat leaving me feeling the cool, dampness of the clothes I was standing in. I felt my body betray me with a whimper I barely silenced.

“I can’t reach all of it.” I knew I was pouting but right now this had been the closest contact we had had in a while and I was far from wanting to play coy. “Can you help me?”

Holding out the sponge to him I gave it a squeeze letting the suds run across my skin and smiled watching his adam’s apple bob under that thin infuriating turtleneck of his. Without a word he pulled his top off exposing that mass of well-toned muscle and lean physique, he worked hard to maintain with his demanding job. It was my turn for my throat to go dry as he took the sponge and loaded it with soapy water from the bucket.

“Come here.” His command had me moving automatically and I watched him slap the wet sponge on the bonnet of the car. “Take it.” I did as I was told only to feel my body pulled back by my hips. “I said take it.”

“I’m trying but you’re not helping.” My complaint was indignant but still playful. His hands were running over my thighs delving into the fabric of the shorts from below pushing them higher exposing more of my legs to the world.

“I can’t help until I see where you need my help.” His breath was like a vapour at this point. His body was burning up and I could feel the pressure of his desire against me. My grip on the sponge grew limp all I wanted was to be with him now the car be damned. “What giving up before the job is done? That isn’t like you.”

“Mmm, Yuzu.” I ignored how in control he was and was willing to blame the heat of the day for the fire swelling inside me and how I rubbed my ass purposely against him. It was an invitation he was all too willing to answer.

In a flash, my arms were pushed high over my head the water of the sponge ran in a river over the bonnet soaking through my shirt between my breasts. His hands removed the shorts and underwear in one fast motion like he was removing a band-aid. Even with the lack of breeze outside, I shuddered at the exposure.

With one hand reaching down to burry his fingers inside me he used the other to reach up over me taking the sponge and pushing it around me. The wet sounds from me and the squelch of the sponge in my ears had me squirming under him. The different places the water touched on my skin felt like he was running his tongue all over me and I arched my body into his firm chest as he covered me.

“I don’t think this is going to cut it.” He denounced the sponge. holding it high over my back and squeezing it dry over my exposed skin before tossing it from the car and flipped me over. My body felt limp in the heat but I managed to remove the painful knot of the wet fabric at my back and hitch myself up a little higher on the car so I was at a better angle.

He let out an appreciative guttural moan that sounded far more animalistic than usual.

“You like cleaning the car then huh?” I teased with what was left of my composure.

Yuzu moved to between my thighs soundlessly and dragged his hot tongue in a long slow swipe through my folds. I tilted my head back blinded by the bright sun and in total disbelief that we were even doing this. When had I become so into sex that this was my life? Did I care? I glanced down and was met with his eyes staring at me from over my pubic mound. He sucked on that bundle of nerves and gave me a little nip on the inside of my thigh.

“What are you thinking?” He asked as he played with his fingers inside me. Scissoring them moving both fast and slow.

“Y-you. I was t-t-thinking about you Yuzu.”

My reply had him smiling and he then removed his hand and grabbed both my ankles dragging me down the slippery metal towards him.

“You know one of the best things about cleaning a car?” I was stunned speechless. There was something devilish about him that I didn’t see often. He was always passionate with an endless sex drive but this was new. He leaned over me his face in front of mine blocking out the sun making it hard to see him. “It’s the getting it dirty to start with.”

Before my eyes could adjust to see him clearly I felt a familiar suffocating pressure from below as he filled me up with his length. With every roll of his hips, it had me bouncing against the bonnet. The water trapped under me foamed with the fabric of my shirt and moved me around in unpredictable ways. The even rhythm from him coupled with my body's unrulily movements thanks to the lubrication of the soap on the car had me reaching the edge faster than normal.

“Ah! Yuzu… I … I’m so close.”

He seemed to speed up and target all the parts of my body he knew I liked. Thanks to the clinging shirt, my nipples were clearly visible and found their way into his mouth where he nipped at them with his teeth. He used his mouth to cover the exposed patches of my torso playing a game of hide and seek with the wet fabric driving my mind further to oblivion.

Right when I thought I was going to reach my limit, he stopped. He left himself inside me but refused to move. I mewed and looked up at him. He was panting, sweat dripping over him. I tried to move my own hips to get more but he just remained still looking at me.

“Yuzu?” I was confused. Why had he stopped?

“I love you Mc.” His confession was quiet but touched my heart as clearly as if he had screamed it.

“I love you too Yuzu.”

“I know.” He picked up the movement as if he had never stopped. The devilish smile on his face replaced by an erotic pleasure mask that had my own heart soaring.

Under the summer sky in an isolated part of the English countryside, we connected over and over again. Our cries and moans melting into the nature surrounding us. Our love and passion driving us forward burning hotter than the sun long after it had set.

---

#summer of smut #summer of smut content creation challenge

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keeroo92 · 3 years ago

Text

Breaking Point

My SFW contribution to @jackpot-dantezine, where Dante falls apart on the way to confront Urizen.

Word count: 1,909

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The air hung stagnant around him, oppressive and unnaturally warm. Shades of red and brown, grey and a sickening green encroached up the walls. When he called the smell, “hot garbage”, he’d been far too kind. Veins pulsated a stern drumbeat as Dante stepped forward after his two female companions.

“Bet you both I bag the first Queen!” Lady taunted. Trish responded with a cool smirk and a quickened pace, but Dante’s mind was elsewhere.

What if it was Vergil?

Dante had his doubts, despite what the weirdo client told him. What were the chances, right? Vergil’d been gone for years, stuck in hell after their last meeting. Getting back here, let alone in good enough shape to pull off this bullshit, was a longshot.

Still. His brother had a way of popping up and causing trouble.

The first boom of battle ricocheted off the nauseating walls, reminding him where he was and what he still needed to do. He’d better catch up. Thinking about shit wasn’t his style; killing demons was.

Time for a good ol’ fashioned beat down, that’d get him out of this funk.

Dante cracked his neck, hands twitching to grasp the twin handles of his beloved Ebony and Ivory. The staccato thud of his boots mirrored the thudding of his heart, hastening as he got closer to a fight.

He turned a bloody corner just in time to see Trish deal a death blow to a Hell Judecca, its skeletal arms dissolving into ash as she spun to find her next prey. Her signature yellow sparks glowed brightly from her hands, her body dashing across the blood-stained ground to strike a pair of Antenora. Show off.

“That puts me ahead by two, Lady! What, are you taking a nap?” the blonde called.

“Not even close!” Lady replied, firing her bazooka straight down the throat of a Caina.

Dante grinned and picked a target, spinning on his heel as a scythe hunted his flesh. Too easy. He twirled Ebony and shot the ugly bastard in the face behind his back. Why did all demons look like the ass end of a bad burrito, anyway?

Eh, who cared?

His heart lurched. Vergil would. When they were children, Dante’s brother never ran out of questions about the nature of demons. He’d asked everything imaginable, from how they fought to how they multiplied.

Dante tried not to think about that part.

And for every question Vergil asked, their dad had an answer. He’d stop whatever he was doing to explain, smiling proudly all the while. Like Dante wasn’t even there. It used to annoy him, but now the memory only brought bittersweet longing. What he wouldn’t give for them all to be together again…

“Dante, duck!”

Leather snapped as Dante instantly dropped to a crouch. A stream of fire licked his flesh, a Hell Bat above screeching its displeasure at the near miss. Annoying bastard. He never should've let it get so close.

I gotta keep it together, he thought cynically, or the girls will get on my case.

Plus, banter always helped keep his mind from visiting its darker corners.

The man in red summoned a smirk and fired a few rounds, his bullets poking holes in the bulging orange belly overhead. A sound not unlike a whoopee cushion signaled his success. Nice.

“Sayonara, sucker!” he crowed, watching as the bat’s leaking body propelled it into a wall to explode. “Let’s call that one twenty points.”

“No way, lazybones! You don’t get extra for making fart noises,” Lady called with a scowl.

Dante raised his hands in a placating gesture as soot settled to mark the deaths of their foes. He hoped Ver- Urizen sent a few more their way; he needed to warm up before kicking the king’s ass. Maybe he should stretch, just to keep his blood flowing.

Dante sighed and shook his head. He’d never hear the end of it.

It turned out he didn’t need to worry; as the trio progressed, they encountered wave after wave of demons, all vying for fresh blood. Trish and Lady didn’t falter, picking off one after another as Dante did his best to stay on task, but his mind kept drifting back to his brother.

For decades, Dante held only anger at his twin for not being there, for forcing their mother to search for him. To a child, the immature logic made sense. If Vergil hadn’t run off, things would’ve turned out differently. Simple cause and effect.

But time dulled the blade of his rage, and a broader understanding of life took hold. Any number of choices may have changed the outcome of the attack, but obsessing over it wouldn’t change what happened.

None of them had the power to predict the consequences, or to change them. All he could do was keep fighting, and hope that by doing so he spared other families from sharing the fate of his own.

If Dante was being honest, the constant battles tired him. His body didn’t move like it used to, and the first aches of middle age warned him it was time to slow down. He couldn’t chase demons forever, and part of him didn’t want to. It was a lot of work.

It might be time to leave it to someone younger.

Then again, what the fuck else was he going to do all day? The only thing worse than being tired was being bored.

And the thought of retiring while Vergil was still out there somewhere, doing who knew what… it didn’t feel right, as if the balance would shift to the demons and they’d go unchecked. As a descendant of Sparda that gave a shit about humanity, Dante felt a certain responsibility to bear the weight of defending them. It was what his dad would’ve wanted.

What his mother would’ve wanted.

Besides; if he didn’t, then who would? Nero sure as hell wasn’t ready, not yet.

But above all else, if it came to a fight to the death, his brother deserved to go at the hands of his family. Someone who understood what he’d gone through and all that he’d lost. It was Dante’s responsibility, and he damn well wasn’t hiding from it. Not this time.

The thought left a hollow ache in his chest, a bitter sorrow he desperately wished he could ignore. If there was any alternative, any chance of helping his brother instead of ending his life, Dante knew he’d take it. That he had to even consider killing Vergil showed how twisted life could be. It made him want to scream.

“Aw, shit,” Trish said, breaking his rambling thoughts. A quartet of Nobody’s waited in the next clearing, scurrying back and forth like excited cats. Perfect timing - Dante hated these guys.

And he really needed to kill something.

He flew at the demons with a cry of fury, drawing all four to him as he pulled Rebellion out. The girls followed in his wake, but he saw nothing save the nearest mask as his blade struck home. It left a deep crack in the clay, but the prick backed off before he had the time to kill it.

He really hated these guys.

“Lady, finish him!” he cried. The other three were already swarming him. Damnit.

He dodged a stray arm and slashed at another as a blast reached his ears. The grotesque floor shook from the force and Dante roared, unleashing a vicious series of slices at the stumbling Nobody closest to him. It whimpered and tried to back off, but he refused to let it go that easily. Rebellion’s heavy blade sank deep into the creature’s core, splattering hot blood on its fellows and its killer alike. Two down.

Two to go.

There were days he didn’t see the point of it anymore; no matter how many would-be demon kings he took down, there’d always be another, and the peons were even worse. Useless, feral things, their only desire to destroy and kill.

It only added fuel to the fire of his rage. He needed to get closer.

Dante sheathed Rebellion and pulled at the thread of dark energy connecting him to Balrog, summoning the metallic pseudo-armor even as he threw a powerful punch. A rapid kick followed, his feet cracking against the reddish mask of the third nobody. He’d kill it before it fought back.

But a fiery blast on his left hurled him to the side, the last demon cackling as he fell. Years of getting pummeled proved their worth as Dante rolled with the blow, using the momentum to get on his feet a beat later. He grimaced and flipped a finger at the laughing jerk.

“Is that all you got?” he shouted. Who knew if it understood.

It screeched and slammed a limb at him, slashing at his chest. He stepped aside and brought his arms together, crushing the appendage and tugging the beast closer for a solid headbutt. He punched and kicked, again and again. Demon blood splattered his face, each drop like a balm to his wrath. The chaotic battle surrounding him faded away; it was just him and the demon and the sounds of his strikes pulverizing its desecrated body.

“Dante?” Lady called, her voice barely piercing the fog of his anger. He ignored her and punched the Nobody in the face again. “Dante, it’s dead. You can stop hitting it now.”

How many people had this one killed? How many families did its hunger shatter? For all Dante knew, it might be the bastard that killed his mother. He punched it again.

“Dante, come on…” Trish said.

Maybe this was the demon that left nothing but smears of blood on the playground outside. Or the one that tore through a local grocery store, or that small house where he found those god awful husks. Another punch. He didn’t notice his female companions coming to stand beside him.

“Dante, knock it off. We need to keep moving,” Lady said, her palm coming to rest on his shoulder as he pulled back for another punch. Trish mirrored her.

The edges of the creature’s face began dissolving, a fine grey powder all that remained. Dante’s panting breath sent the dust aflutter as he slowly lowered his arm. His jaw ached; had he been gritting his teeth the whole time? Fuck.

Better crack a joke, something to keep it light.

“So, that’s what, four points to me?” Dante said. Both women shot him fierce glares.

“What the fuck, Dante?” Lady began.

He wiped away the blood still clinging to his face and sighed. “It’s nothing.”

“Didn’t look like nothing,” Trish chimed in. “You good?”

The red-clad man released the tendril of energy connecting him to Balrog, the blood-stained metal vanishing a beat behind. He didn’t know what to say. His rage still flickered within him, an ever present ember waiting for the right moment to flare into an inferno. It might give him an edge; it might consume him.

Talk about a double-edged sword.

It didn’t matter what was happening in his heart or what it did to him. There was a big ass demon tree growing in his city, ugly bastards swarming the place and who knew what else. It was his job to clean up the mess, no matter who made it.

Dante snorted. He was, in essence, a janitor.

He cracked his neck. It was time to clean. “I’m good.”

#fanfic #my writing #dmc #devil may cry #dmc dante #dante sparda #angst #one-shot

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echo-three-one · 4 years ago

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Chapter 32

THE ROAD SO FAR

Mr. and Mrs. MacTavish

Francine "France" Winters

MacTavish Residence, Glasgow Scotland

3:46 AM

Francine squinted her eyes as she checked her phone, the bright light illuminated her whole visage. No new messages. John promised her he'd text her as soon as the mission was over. According to their briefing, the recon mission should've ended about four hours ago.

She shifted her position and turned to Maxine who looked sound asleep. A soft smile escaped her lips once she realized that Maxine was safe within her reach.

She forced her eyes to close again but couldn't quite get the sleep she needed. She wondered if John ever got tired running in her mind. After failing her last attempt to get some sleep, she slowly got up and made her way to the kitchen for some milk.

Much to her surprise, the kitchen lights were open and Samantha sat on the dining table, her chin rested on her arms as she stared on her phone.

"Can't sleep?" France asked and it shocked Samantha a little.

"Yeah. He's supposed to text me three hours ago. Now I can't help but worry." Samantha groaned in frustration.

"John promised that too…" she slowly placed her phone on the table and it beeped. The womens eyes widened as France excitedly unlocked her phone.

Her smile almost reached the heavens but soon after reading the notification, she suddenly went back to her frown.

"What was it?" Samantha asked, raising her head and looked at Francine.

"A software update notification." Francine sighed and went to grab a glass of milk.

"Say, France… has it ever crossed your mind that John would be the one you'll end up marrying?" Samantha asked. Francine's cheeks burned immediately at the idea as she envisioned herself living in a house with three children with mohawks running around. She wasn't ready for all of it but she's blushing at the sheer idea of it as if she liked it.

"Umm… uh.. I'm not sure. Sam." her tone was really suspicious, as if hiding something and making up blatant lies. She just wished Samantha couldn't see through her.

"Sorry for that kind of question. It's just that… I think that Alex is the one for me… that's why I'm this worried about him. I couldn't sleep knowing he's not beside me…" Samantha explained while pondering her situation. If that was the case for her, then France's insomnia could also mean that she's…

"I guess it's normal to feel that way…" France defended, downing a half full glass of milk.

"You've been with him for quite some time and you both admittedly loved each other, that's why you showed concern toward him." She continued.

"So, that goes to you too? Right?" Samantha asked. France once again got cornered by her own train of thought.

"Look. Yes. I'm concerned about John too… he's…" she smiled.

"He's something else… I'm far too ready to reopen myself to a relationship and he actually told me he was willing to wait and be a friend in need." she continued, now her heart was beating slowly but fluttering at the idea of her thoughts. John was willing to wait. That meant that she could have all the time at her disposal until she was ready to love again. But such time needed was already up, as she was already denying the inevitable feeling of love she was projecting toward the Scotsman.

"Sounds like you're already ready." Samantha teased.

"No I'm not!" France immediately dismissed her, grabbed her phone and went back to bed.

"As a matter of fact, I'll sleep right now!" She said as Samantha just laughed and waved goodnight.

France slowly paced in front of John's room. She felt as if there was a huge magnet pulling her towards it and the longer her phone doesn't ring, the more convinced she was to get in. Succumbing to temptation, she pushed the doors open and sneaked her way in.

His room was always her favorite place in the house. It showcased a lot of his personality that no one could ever see in him. Landscape drawings and sketches filled the room. Football jerseys with autographs were framed on the walls along with photos with his favorite athletes.

At first glance, everyone would say that John MacTavish had it all, but when you're staring at his eyes while having a heart to heart talk, you would know that that isn't all true. He didn't have it all.

France saw his black journal by the bed. It was strange that he didn't bring it for his mission. Last time you asked him what's inside, he just chuckled and said "mission details", showing a sketch of Price labeled 'caterpillar moustache'.

France was then again tempted to open the page where he left off, showing a beautifully sketched face of her, occupying the whole page.

"Tough on the outside, soft in the inside. Just like me." was written on the corner of the page.

"I knew that you saw through me the moment we met…" She whispered as she closed the journal and yawned, crashing on his huge bed they both shared days ago when she needed someone to talk to. Covering herself with the thick covers, she inhaled the signature MacTavish scent which still lingered on his bed and it was actually effective enough to lull her to sleep. It's as if he was there beside her.

France woke up as soon as it came to her senses that Maxine would be looking for her. Throwing the covers away, she immediately rushed back to her room. Pulling the door open and sneaking her way back.

The silent clattering of the plates and casual conversations filled the kitchen. Jack was talking about some of his experiences while Samantha and Maxine were giggling. Much to her curiosity regarding the two unknown voices, both male and female, she slowly descended the staircase and peeked.

Aside from Jack, Samantha and Maxine, there was a man and a woman, possibly married, who sat together by the table. She actually felt nervous once her sight landed on the man. If he was younger, his resemblance with John would be almost accurate. And judging by that look, Francine leaned to the idea that this was John's father.

John's father had the physical qualities of a Scotsman but the appeal of a western businessman. His accent was almost not Scottish.

"Ahh. I miss my home so much. Do you mind if I let loose a little?" Mr. MacTavish asked and his wife, judging by the body language of holding on his hands, chuckled at his idea.

"Don't worry. It's your home. You should feel comfortable." Jack replied with a smile.

With a deep sigh, Mr. MacTavish actually let loose and exhaled a very deep ramble in s heavy Scottish accent. His wife replied with the same energy and everyone cackled. France was amazed at how easygoing his parents were and it told a lot about John's upbringing.

"Ooh! Looks like our other guest woke up!" Mrs. MacTavish mused upon making eye contact with France.

"So Maxine, this is your sister?" Mr. MacTavish.

"Yes, Mr. Jonathan. It's Francine." Maxine answered and France waved and smiled at the MacTavishes. Her whole body felt awkwardly nervous. She felt like this was the 'Meet the Parents' part, except they weren't really a thing… yet.

"Nice to finally meet you, Sir Jonathan and Ma'am…" France shook his hand and paused at Mrs. MacTavish.

"It's Julianne." She smiled and shook her hand. For a moment, Francine actually felt her heartwarming touch as she slowly eased the nervousness away.

"Don't be scared of us dear. We don't bite." She smiled and Francine smiled back. When John told her about how serene he felt around his mother, he wasn't joking. Her aura was powerful.

"Honey, looks like there are a lot more women in the force nowadays. Have you ever wondered if our boy John has liked any of them?" he asked playfully while France was trying her hardest not to choke on her orange juice. It looks like Max and Samantha were just giggling on their own.

"Well dear, why don't we leave it up to John to introduce us to her." She chuckled and held her husband's hand.

"Where is he anyway?" Jonathan looked back by the door.

"He's still on a mission." France answered and everyone else looked at her.

"What I mean is, they are still on their way home." She corrected, stuttering as she replied.

"Well, it's such a shame we had to leave now. Duty calls!" Jonathan stood up and everyone followed them to the front door, waving their goodbyes. France shyly followed behind them and joined the group as they sent their goodbyes to John's parents.

As soon as the car left their sights, everyone else eased and released the pressure they felt.

"Woooah. Soap has some nice parents. I thought they'll get mad at us for crashing in!" Maxine said, sitting beside France.

"Well, Soap just proved to us that not all businessmen are evil, despite what television suggests." Jack added and yawned. It was still early and he already planned on sleeping.

Samantha sat there and stared at her phone. France checked hers too and called her attention.

"I didn't get any texts from him. But I assure you, they'll be here soon."

"So, tell me how worried you were when I didn't text." John smugly asked France while he emerged from the showers, a clean white towel was the only thing wrapping his body.

France just sat by the bed, her whole body facing opposite John. Her brows still furrowed at the idea that he wasn't able to text her that they finished the mission without harm.

Their arrival earlier was not quite the arrival she expected. Her heart was supposed to flutter at the sight of John, but instead sadness filled the whole house. Alexandra Ryder was gone, and it would be too rude to reach for his embrace at the time of mourning.

"I wasn't worried one bit." She spat and crossed her arms. He could hear John laughing a little and she wanted to look at him, but his stubbornness needed to be fixed, that is if she could.

"Really? Then how come I heard from Samantha that you were up at three-" France quickly turned to her back in an attempt to stop his trail of thought, but she was surprised that John's face was already close to hers as he was crawling towards her while he talked.

France's world paused for a little as her eyes met his, gaze locked on his icy blue stare as her heart started to beat differently and her ears started to heat up, and lips slowly formed a smile.

Her eyes trailed down to his lips, where it also happened to curve differently. He was smiling and it never occurred to her that John had smiled like that before. Her lips involuntarily pouted as she felt John's face inch closer to hers, as she slowly closed her eyes and let the Scotsman take over her lips.

The first kiss was quick, their lips just met each other for a short while and they both backed up, eyes locked on to each other, both sparkling and wanting for more.

"Fine." France whispered and reached for his cheek.

"I can't stop worrying about you, dumbass." she added and John let out a soft chuckle, leaning in for another kiss, but this time it was more than they both wanted. This time it felt like they were released from all the things constraining them. France actually gave in to him for the second time, and she was glad that she did this, because John sure was a very good kisser.

Next Chapter : The Broken Ship

Notification Squad my Beloved

@beemybee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio @smokeywhalee @whimsywispsblog @ricinbach

#horrayfic #john soap mactavish #alex echo 3 1 #codmw #john price #gary roach sanderson #simon ghost riley #whateverittakes

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mallowstep · 3 years ago

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how do you find the energy and motivation to write like... everyday?? i literally cannot write unless i am possessed by a thought in my brain and forced to spew out everything onto paper. and then i cant look at it again ot edit it. like, i really love writing and if im forced to do it for school i will, but i cant write for myslef.

practice.

first, i want to say that i am going to describe how i write, but it is not necessarily going to work for most people, because it has to do with my own psychology and mental health.

second, i want to say that i view writing as writing for pleasure or writing for work. poetry, for example, i write for pleasure, and i would not apply what i am going to discuss to poetry. that happens when i have something to say. it is OK to not want to write for work. that's acceptable and encouraged.

third, i want to dispel a myth. writing consistently is not about motivation. it is about discipline. and you should take heart in that, because motivation is hard to control. you can't force yourself to want to do something, no matter how hard you try. but if you build up discipline, you can learn to do it anyway.

i'm not going to go into that now, because i'm coming at this from the specific perspective of someone with adhd who uses pressure to force myself to function, which is...a hard balance to strike, and not something i can strictly recommend. it does work for some people. i think of it as an arch.

but i digress, i said i wasn't discussing the specifics of how i function in day-to-day life, lest i encourage others to do as i do.

okay. so. where am i going with all of this?

part one: a long, fairly incoherent ramble about me and mental health and writing

well. i don't think the idea of writing for yourself is very helpful to a lot of people. i do write for myself. but that doesn't get my ass in the chair and my fingers on the keyboard. the thing that does that is not social obligation to others, either, it is the firm knowledge that putting words on paper is going to keep me from falling apart.

i don't do that for myself. i don't do that for anyone but the human need to hold yourself together. i am very happy i feel that need at the moment, and every time i have stopped writing* in the past ten years, i have lost that need.

* writing here should really be replaced with a broader term. creating things. making things. working with my hands and something real. but writing is the best thing i know to fill this in myself.

writing does not feel optional. i started writing seriously when i was not-quite-a-teenager and had untreated depression. it was desperate, then. the need to know i was capable of feeling emotions. since then, writing has been different things at different times. it has been a social need. it has been a creative need. it has been a demanding drive. it has been something i drag myself to do because i know it is good for me.

i don't have to write. i could paint, or draw, or knit, or code, or any number of things. i have used all of those things, and more, in the past, but writing is something i also enjoy.

sometimes writing is dragging myself to the keyboard. it is not always a flurry of words as an idea seizes me. it is, "i am publishing the next chapter of ashes because it is monday and that is what i do on mondays." but.

it is monday, and that is what i do on mondays.

i hate not posting every day. i hate it. i am Untethered. i spent ca. three weeks over the summer completely disconnected from time, but. i post ashes today, it is monday, i move on, i go through the days and they are not the same.

i hate not posting every day. i know that i would be doing better if i could just break through and start again, but figuring out how is hard. some things i know (ibtwicm is stressful because another person is involved, and that means that i cannot work with betas, even though the one i have is absolutely wonderful and i adore her), but other things are just that nebulous idea of not enough time to start.

i don't always have the energy to write. some days are bad. some days my head hurts. i don't have the expectation that i will never miss a day of posting. i've taken plenty of time off. but i like the rhythm.

anyway. let me try to turn that incoherent ramble about me into something...actionable?

part two: what i tangibly do

i have a schedule. that is not requisite, but it saves me from making decisions. i have a schedule and i have fics and one-shots and they all slot into that schedule by arc. i could have done it by anything, but arc was convenient.

anyway.

i figure out what i'm posting when i wake up in the morning, and i try to skim over what i've already got before starting my day. i flick back and forth between writing and whatever i am doing throughout the day.

(which is why, as i transition back into my normal pace, the thing i have been doing to fill the gap will diminish. less au chatter snippets etc, because that is what i have been doing instead of writing.)

by the evening, i'm usually close to done with the draft. i spend a solid chunk of time patching it up, then i do a round of edits, finish my other work, do line edits, and post.

if i have time after that, i start looking at tomorrow's post.

that's it. sometimes i don't want to work on something. too bad. it's on the schedule. or even, "too bad, we're posting something today." unless i am having a bad (read: low spoon) day, i do not waver in that expectation for myself.

in fact, i think the only way ibtwicm will get done is if the final chapter two chapters go up un-beta'd, because the deviation from routine makes me impossibly frustrated with them. we shall see.

anyway. i have spent years building the discipline to be able to do that. if you rely on motivation, do not think you can just flip over and magically learn how to turn an empty page into words because you told yourself that is what you are doing right now. so.

part three: how to build discipline

i said i won't be covering this, and i'm not Really. i'm going to tell you how to get started, and i am going to be the Bad Guy. i am not capable of doing this kindly. there are other, better, resources i encourage you to seek out.

so. you can't start by just. throwing yourself into it. it won't work, it'll be frustrating, etc.

you want to figure out what a reasonable word count/day is for you. i shoot for 3k words/day, but i figure as long as i'm above 1k, i'm happy.

[aside: if you are going to be writing a lot in a day, please take care of your body. have good posture. know how to hold yourself. etc. i credit years of playing piano as giving me strong wrists and nice, curved fingers, and exercises to build and strengthen the same muscles as you use for typing, but just keep this in mind.]

anyway, there's no right number. 100 words is enough. it should be -- what works for me is a number that's just slightly higher than what i can do comfortably, because it means i have to be focused, which keeps me on track. i think this is important. it is not the only way.

and then you just meet that goal. if you're new to this, writing 100 words every day might be hard. you don't have to limit yourself to 100, just hit 100 every. single. day.

eventually that will feel easy.

"i don't feel like writing," you will think, "but i've figured out how to get around that."

then you either feel happy with what you're doing or push your word count up.

me? i don't measure how many words i write, because i've already done all of that. for all i bemoan research and being stuck, i'm generally exceptionally effective. i don't think that's bragging; i think the number of asks i have answered with scenes i whipped out of nowhere demonstrate that.

i have spent years getting to the point where i can open up a blank page, on a day when i feel like crap (emotionally), when i have no ideas and no motivation and every word i put on paper feels robotic and stiff and terrible, and still finish what i started. it's hard work. it might not be worth the effort. but. that's what i do.

#ask #anon #mine #personal #reblogs okay #writing #you know i don't think what i do is the only way or even the best way #what i do is the #what i need to do to be a functional human being #way #and that might not work for you but #i think at the least my thoughts on discipline and routine should be more universally applicable

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bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture · 4 years ago

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With the second half of chapter 11, I am ready for people thoughts / questions / comments on the opening arcs. Were there favorite parts of it? Parts you wish had had a little more to them? Who’s your favorite / least favorite of the characters as shown so far? Anything you found particularly interesting about certain scenes / panels / etc. that you want to share? Have at it!

I’ll probably be doing some of that myself as I go back through for any little moments I liked, and sort of summarize my own thoughts on the opening arcs. Then, of course, we get to get into the USJ, and see some real action! <3

[No. 11 - Bakugou’s Starting Line]

We come back to the nurse’s office, where Toshinori is awkwardly hovering by Izuku’s bed while Recovery Girl tears into him for Izuku’s third time in her office despite the school year only just starting, and why he hasn’t prevented that damage from happening. Toshinori apologizes to her, and she tells him it’s not her he needs to apologize to.

(Also, man he’s swimming in his hero costume - really gives a sense of the size difference between the two forms to be honest.)

She notes that Izuku’s come to her both that day and the day before completely fatigued, and that this sort of damage isn’t so easily healed. He’s on an IV drip and has gotten emergency first aid, but all that can be done now is wait for him to recover on his own.

Which brings me back to chapter 4 with her managing to heal him while he’s completely unconscious and in way worse shape - I really do believe at this point that she CAN use her own stamina to help a patient in critical condition who doesn’t have the energy to heal themselves, but it’s not as effective and, well, drains HER to the point where she won’t be able to help others who might be in need. Ergo, in situations like this, she sticks to hoarding her stamina and letting kids heal their own reckless behavior. (She probably could do a lot more in her prime, but alas.)

She states that she knows Toshinori gave Izuku his power, but regardless of favoritism, Toshinori has to stop indulging Izuku. Toshinori scratches under his ear in embarrassment and says she’s right - he was sympathizing too much, so he hesitated. He then goes on to hesitantly ask her to keep it down while at least discussing One For All.

She huffs and turns away, mocking him with his ‘natural born hero’ and ‘symbol of piece’ titles. He goes on to explain (for audience benefit alone tbh) that while the staff of UA know about his true form and injury, only Recovery Girl, the principal, an old friend of his (who will later be revealed as Detective Tsukauchi), and Izuku know about his quirk. To everyone else, it’s a secret.

(We know from later on that this isn’t quite true - there are a few others who know - but I suppose that this is the ring of people who he interacts with at this point in time, which is… really fucking depressing.

Of course, Horikoshi might not have come up with either character beyond vague thoughts and outlines at this point, so I suppose he didn’t want to box himself in on a character design before he was sure they fit his needs. Gran probably was outlined vaguely at this point? But I think Nighteye might not have been created until around Kamino.)

Recovery Girl asks rhetorically whether that talk is just him resting on his laurels, then a bit more seriously asks whether it’s really that important that he be a natural born hero and the Symbol of Peace. We get another up-close shot of Toshinori’s intensity as he states that without him, superhuman society would fall to evil.

(A bit egotistical there, much? But I think it’s also a bit of the toxic mindset he’s had build up over the ages - that he’s alone in being able to hold things together, that there’s no one to fall back on, that he can’t afford to be ‘helped’ even as he keeps falling apart.)

Toshinori then goes on to explain that this is the responsibility that wielders of One For All must bear. Recovery Girl contemplates this quietly for a moment, then says that it’s then all the more important for Toshinori to learn how to guide Izuku properly.

We transition to after school… which does end up leaving me to wonder whether I was off about heroics being the last class of the day, but at the same time, I don’t see how the teachers expect the kids to be able to focus on academics after two hours of heroics training, not to mention that the kids do need time to digest lunch, so,,, eh. I’m going to presume that here it’s more that with the battle trials ending a bit early, there was time afterwards for discussion before the school day ended.

Anyways, Izuku is just trudging back to class, still in his damaged costume and wearing a sling for his right arm. He’s slouched over, thinking about how Aizawa-sensei is ‘really gonna let him have it’ - which says a lot about his expectations for teachers at this point. He opens the door to the classroom, and is surprised when Kirishima notices him and announces his return, as well as welcomes him back.

Izuku is quickly surrounded by several classmates (Kirishima, Mina, and Sato), all of whom are excited to talk to him, much to his confusion. Kirishima says that even without knowing what was being said, the battle was wild. Mina complements Izuku’s dodging (which makes sense now that I think about it - she does a lot of dance and incorporates it into her fighting, so she might have thought Izuku was similar? Maybe?) Sato says that everyone was pumped after the crazy first round.

Kirishima, Mina, Tsuyu, and Sato all then introduce themselves in order, with Kirishima saying that they were discussing battle training, Mina restating her admiration for Izuku’s dodging skills, Tsuyu that she just prefers to be called Tsuyu. Izuku is a bit overwhelmed. To the side, Tokoyami grumbles about them being noisy while sitting on the desk - much to Tenya’s concern as he demands Tokoyami get off of it. Someone else tells Tenya to not get bent out of shape.

The true crack ship - KamiChako. Which is immediately ruined when Ochako makes her way over to Izuku, noticing and worrying over his arm and whether he’d gotten it healed. Izuku says it wasn’t quite healed, since he was so worn out, and then he apologizes and says he has something to do. That something being rushing after Katsuki.

(Literally, that boy walks in, looks around, sees Katsuki isn’t there, and immediately goes ‘sorry I have to go immediately’. Like, I know this is a shounen, but at the same time…)

Izuku catches up to Katsuki on the way to the gate out of the grounds, and is, uh...

Not looking that great, captain. Those bags under his eyes have really seen some cultivation in the time since the battle trial.

Izuku’s internal thoughts note that where everyone else wanted to talk to him, Katsuki just clammed up and went home. Or maybe it’s Izuku’s memory of Toshinori recounting the aftermath of the class? But Toshinori left right at the end, so uh… I have no idea.

Anyways, Izuku catches up and gets his attention, drawing Katsuki’s shadowed stare (it’s not quite a glare? So yeah.) Izuku is looking down a bit, narration noting that he hasn’t even told his mom his secret as he states that he can’t say much, but that Katsuki should know this. Izuku thinks about Katsuki’s comments during the battle trial about tricking him, and then…

Well that was a face adventure Katsuki went through. It’s a really good thing he was also too distracted by his own existential angst to really think about Izuku’s words.

But to dig more deeply into this, we can start from the top - literally. Starting at all that space at the top, and then the empty panel (asides from the two) where Izuku states he got his quirk from someone else. It really sort of gives a beat before such a weighty reveal, and more so how, in that moment, Izuku is only focused on Katsuki as he says it.

Izuku goes on to explain that he can’t say who it’s from, and that it’s a bit like a conversation out of a comic book, and that on top of that he can’t even really use it yet, so the borrowed power is pretty useless to him, which is why he tried to beat Katsuki without it… only to fail and be forced to rely on it. While this is happening, Katsuki’s expression goes from confusion/what the fuck towards outright pissed as Izuku rambles on, seemingly nonsensically from his point of view. Izuku states that he has a way to go, and then looks up and meets Katsuki’s gaze as he states that he’s going to make that power his own someday, and then overcome Katsuki with his own power.

This seems to derail Katsuki’s anger for a moment back towards shock - possibly for the sheer boldness and earnestness of the statement. Izuku’s a bit embarrassed at his rambling reveal, thinking that he’d just meant to tell Katsuki he hadn’t been tricking him, but, well.

Katsuki wobbles a bit in place, likely to keep himself from instinctively going after Izuku for being, well, Izuku. He repeats Izuku’s comment about borrowed power, then says he has no idea what Izuku’s talking about, but that Izuku is clearly determined to keep making a fool out of him. His anger boils back up as he grits out another swear, and then gets into how he lost to Izuku, and then if that weren’t enough, there was another student - Shouto - who he knows he can’t measure up to. He slaps a hand to his face, nails digging into his hair as he swears again and notes how ‘ponytail girl said it all’. He snaps his arms back down, swearing more, and demands a mostly rhetorical why from Izuku - likely in response to his fear of being able ot measure up to someone he had until then looked down on. Katsuki then declares through tears - and some repetition for emphasis - that from there on out he’s gonna beat everyone.

He then spins back around and starts to walk off, rubbing at the tears while telling Izuku to enjoy his win, since it won’t happen ever again. Izuku holds himself firm a bit longer, then sighs and seems to lose whatever energy he’d dredged up for that conversation - methinks it’s also a bit exasperated with Katsuki? I mean, I have to admit trying to have a serious convo with the kid has to be a struggle sometimes.

Incredible. Thanks, All Might. And I can’t help but cackle at Izuku swaying in the wind created with All Might rushing right past him to get to Katsuki, as well as that ‘ow!’ from Katsuki. All Might is latched onto Katsuki’s shoulder as he kind of greets the kid, with Katsuki looking about five seconds from turning around and biting the man in the arm like a semi-feral cat.

All Might is wheezing a bit in holding this form while rushing to catch up, starting to offer some advice - that Katsuki’s self-respect is important, and that he definitely has the makings of a pro, just so long as he-

Katsuki cuts him off by telling him to get off, since he can’t walk. He then goes on to say that it’s without question that he’ll be a hero who surpasses even All Might. All Might is surprised at that rebound, taking his hand off while thinking that the usual egomaniac is back. All Might mutters about how being a teacher is tough while watching Katsuki stalk off.

Izuku’s narration notes that Katsuki’s fuse had been lit, but his own goals hadn’t changed - that he would keep chasing after him. While he’s staring dramatically after his childhood friend, All Might starts asking what he said to Katsuki.

We have a last transition to a few days later, the narration noting that the class learned an important lesson that All Might had warned them about - about how they should fear the cleverest of villains. The scene is set in a different area, with the frontmost building being a bar. Someone is shown reading a newspaper article about All Might teaching at UA, as well as his temporary leave from his hero agency.

The person sets the newspaper down folded neatly, noting how All Might is a teacher now. The voice then goes a bit raspy (or maybe it’s a different speaker) as they wonder out loud about what would happen if villains killed the symbol of peace.

Whoo boy, what a first introduction to the main antagonist of the series.

It seems like he has all five fingers on the newspaper in those panels? But it might just be the weird angle that keeps us from seeing how careful he is to not do so, which might have given away his quirk before it gets shown in the next arc.

Also, hello misty character who definitely doesn’t have some deeper, tragic backstory we eventually learn about.

About those hands… you know, I know what the ‘official’ story behind them ends up being, but like, they all look the same, so I wonder if those are just… random hands from his victims over the years. ...while the design is suitably disconcerning, it also makes sense that Hori would eventually chuck them aside thanks to how much extra drawing and detail they all need.

Anyways, that closes out the chapter and the opening arcs, so again, open for any sort of thoughts/questions all of you have. I should have my own out in the next few days, I think.

#readthrough #chapter 11 #opening arcs #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #yagi toshinori #recovery girl #shigaraki tomura #kirishima eijirou #ashido mina #uraraka ochako #izuku really be like 'sorry i have to go immediate' when his fated rival wasn't there for him to talk to #what a legend #what a way to end an arc and get into a new one #what tonal whiplashes all around #damn these were interesting chapters to introduce the series with

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serenedash · 3 years ago

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I started rambling about my experience with kh and then it turned into khux and then it just turned into me rambling about Ryou and my art journey????? enjoy I guess,

it’s very long but there’s art in there :)

It’s funny to think about my kh journey as a whole tbh, I grew up watching my mom play video games, which included kh1 and 2. I wasn’t allowed to play the playstation2 we owned BUT I did have a gameboy so the first game I played was CoM (after my mom finished it ofc,) so I guess you could say I’ve always been passionate about kh “””side games””” lmao but I did fall off of kh very quickly bc again, I wasn’t allowed to play our PS2 and also I Am A Terrible Gamer I’ve Never Finished CoM I’m sorry you all had to find out like this, but then 358/2 came out when I was in middle school and!!! I didn’t care and I didn’t play idk why lol

Anyway, fast forward to high school I’m like 15 and my older sister, who HAS been keeping up with kh, has a wallpaper on her phone of roxas and ventus. And bc I haven’t kept up I say “nice roxas wallpaper” and she says “thanks but it’s roxas and ventus” and I proceeded to get so mad that I was determined to prove to her that her wallpaper was just roxas twice and then I fell down the BBS rabbit hole and suddenly I was reading about vanitas and then I’m reading the fan translations of the BBS novel and I’m crying??? I am sobbing???? and that’s how I actually got into kh for real lol we are vanitas stans before we are people,

It’s so funny how I thought I was some kh super fan, knowing all this stuff that I spent so long reading and rewatching cutscene movies, but I never once, SOMEHOW NEVER ever came across khx. It’s so absurd and bizarre I seriously have no idea how I never once encountered khx prior to khux. I suppose that has to do with the fact I wasn’t involved in the fandom? In early high school I had stepped away from fandoms as a whole and I didn’t have any interest in really posting content or interacting with fans anymore bc of how burnt out I was from a previous fandom,

but khux released! and I was so hype and excited for it! on launch day I was a senior in high school, I had ran around to every “nerd” and weeb I could find in school to ask them to join my party and fun fact about me is I have crippling social anxiety I literally refuse to start conversations irl so holy shit I was OUT HERE doing the MOST

My player just originally had my name (Matt) but everyone in my party had fun names so Ryou was born! High school was one big yugioh phase for me and ryou bakura is one of my favorite characters ever so it was just the logical name choice lol I quickly started creating Ryou, the character, as well. I was also leaving my homestuck phase and that + vanitas obsession made This character design (art circa 2016)

If y’all are familiar with my kh oc’s you might notice that keyblade now belongs to my kid Monty LOL

Anyway that got scrapped quickly for the chip and dale outfit (which is where Ryou’s trademark goggles are from <3) Goggles have been a staple of my character designs for a LONG TIME so like, it had to be done, (that’s a separate ramble about a separate oc tho)

OG Ryou was an interesting guy; he was a young party leader with this overwhelming responsibility on his shoulders bc of his status as a party leader. In his original story, he also struggled heavily with darkness, much like Terra but for Ryou it was more that the darkness was controlling him and not like a source of power like it was for Terra

A big part of early Ryou I kept, however, was the crushing awareness of loss. One of my party members (the strongest one at the time,) had left without saying a word and I was very confused and hurt. This was around the time the ephemera plot was happening so I decided to incorporate it into Ryou’s story; having him experience losing a friend to darkness since it’s so normal for wielders in Daybreak Town to just disappear, and this would unintentionally become a theme for both me and Ryou as khux friends would just randomly disappear.

I was desperate for khux at this point and I decided to watch the fan translations for khx and GOD, god, was I obsessed. I couldn’t stop thinking about the foretellers. And I’m not going off about that here bc I already did that, but I actually started entering fandom again! I did it slowly, I started on tumblr before this blog was made altho it was me sending anons to the few khux related blogs I could have lol a friend convinced me to get twitter where I got involved with the ffxv fandom, which led me to the kh fandom and eventually the khux fandom there which is what REALLY got me going on khux.

I joined discord servers, most of the servers I’m in are khux related, and from there I joined the khux oc rp (shout out to anyone there who might be reading this lol here’s some art from the beginning of the rp,)

It’s SO FUNNY how the RP influenced me so heavily. I hadn’t RP’d in YEARS, I used to have a strict no oc rp policy, but here I was? And the funny part is, I had barely developed Ryou. I had scrapped his original story and all I had was POST WAR Ryou so I literally had to reverse write him; I had only ever written him as a depressed, guilt ridden adult, but it was a fucking blast and I have such fond memories of this rp when it was active,

But anyway, this encouraged me to get more serious about art! I started drawing, writing, cosplaying, and roleplaying when I hadn’t done any of that stuff in a very long time. The first time I ever drew a background was for a deviant art khux competition actually LOL

also! I always think extremely fondly of the drawing I did of Aced in the keyblade war. It was also one of the first backgrounds I ever drew and it felt like my real starting point in the khux fandom. It got a ton of notes on here and someone wrote a tiny fic in a reblog which just made me SO HAPPY like it really felt like people were noticing me :) I was going to draw a matching Ira but!! I just never did!! One day tho, it’s on my art bucket list to redraw this along with Ira,

Aside from my personal growth, khux was great for my social life ngl, I made SO MANY friends online and got to meet a ton of people irl over the years! It’s crazy to think about all the people I now know and talk to? It honestly makes me really emotional. I’ll never forget taking the train into NYC and meeting up with discord friends. Going to conventions and talking with people about the latest khux update? Absolutely insane and those were some GOOD TIMES, if I thanked every khux friend or even just person who made an impact on me then we’d be here for a LONG TIME,

Fun fact, for my Lauriam cosplay all I needed to buy was the wig I just owned his outfit LOL also? Probably retiring that cosplay ngl people treated me like absolute garbage when I wore him and it led to a lot of confidence issues for awhile ngl. That’s probably one of the only memorable negative experiences I have with khux; it was great when khux people recognized me but for kh fans that weren’t in khux? They were FUCKING MEAN??? fuck kh fandom at large, I only care about khux fandom,

This leads me to another huge part of my experience in khux fandom: THEORIES!! I used to write SO MANY and oh my god my brain was so full all the time. It was a huge appeal for me in the fandom; I had been previously writing theory posts in the RWBY fandom and it just migrated over to khux for me lol I had done a ton of theorizing around Lauriam tbh, it was really the only reason I liked his character at all bc initially I did not care about the dandelions, anyone who wasn’t Skuld I was like “please leave Now thanks”

A funny part of khux fandom I never intended to be apart of is the MEMES, I really only started doing memes as stress relief bc college had me so busy all I had time/energy for was these quick little shit post drawings.

The first meme I made, file name “invi despair” LOL we need to get her a girlfriend smh anyway, I think in my senior year of college I did a bunch of rapid fire memes all in one month bc the stress of finals was getting so bad afdgfhdgf as far as I know my impact on this fandom will be my memes bc all I do now is enter a kh/khux server and introduce myself and I go “yeah I draw art. here’s a meme” and everyone goes OH YOU, honestly I am nothing if not a clown

I’ve talked so much idk where I’m going with this. Khux is just a good game even if the gameplay actually kind of really sucks yknow lol but it was the first game I played where I like, REALLY got into the meta and the mechanics. I used to read so much on the mechanics and watch youtube videos on which medals were worth pulling for. I was never a whale or a top player exactly, but I could rank well if I tried lol I’ve made it to the top 100 for solo rankings, my party has made it to top 10, and in pvp I’ve made top 300. I’m not the highest level in my party but FUCK do I know how to manipulate this game LOL

And with all that hard work, the strategies, the theorizing, the content I’ve made-- it’s been my life for 5 years. I’ve logged into khux almost every single day. At the end, I have logged 1820 days in khux out of 1910 days. Kinda crazy. Crazier I’ve never spent money on khux either lol the only “money” gone into it was one time my mom gave me a google play store gift card and I used it on my birthday for a VIP xemnas medal which eventually made it to regular pulls anyway but it was nice and a little treat :)

I’m not a gacha fan, I don’t care for it, so I don’t think I’ll be touching another gacha again. But for kh? This was pretty fucking awesome, even if it sucked a lot sometimes LOL It was worth it for the people I’ve met most of all I think. I would honestly be a completely different person without khux and that’s REALLY insane to think about.

#the khux hyperfixation is REAL #but yall knew this about me #there's so much more I could say but it's 2am and this is long enough already #im rambling

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