stuckonserotonin

[stuckonserotonin]

not enough people talk about traumatic friendships. how you had a best friend that made you feel like shit any time you got into a relationship. how your best friend now makes jokes but you can’t let them go because of what you felt before. you just want to be a good friend and be happy, but you feel selfish and that’s not right. 

i shouldn’t feel selfish for wanting to be happy and start my life. i’m nearly 26 and ready to move into a house with the person i love. what’s insane is it’s not happening for another literal year. i’m not going anywhere in the mean time and she’s not moving in now.

and i don’t want to feel like i need to work overtime for this friendship now that i’ve spoken on my intentions to move out next year when the lease ends. that’s not fair to me, but it’s also entirely possible that my best friend is just messing with me. the problem is, i can’t see that.

because i had a best friend who would pull me down for years. if i got into a relationship, i was “putting them on the back burner” though i’d hung out with them the entire week. they wanted all of my attention all of the time though they’d drop me once they met someone they wanted to date.

basically, what i’m saying is i hope that people who have experience traumatic friendships know that they’re valid. i see you and i hear you. it’s painful and i just wish more people would open up about this topic.

[stuckonserotonin]

[stuckonserotonin]

No matter how progressive or well-read you are, there are always going to be moments in your life where somebody pushes back against something that's so culturally ingrained you never even considered it before. And you'll say "Huh, it never occurred to me to challenge this but you're right" and that doesn't mean you were "morally toxic" before, it means you're a non-omniscient human capable of growth.

[stuckonserotonin]

Tumblr is not a social media site to me, it is a cool scrapbooking \ creative writing club I go to at my local library

[stuckonserotonin]

for old times sake is actually such a heartbreaking and beautiful sentiment. let’s do it for the love that used to be here!! it is reason enough!!

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gravity was a big discovery i guess but nothing compares to realizing girls can kiss girls

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Who else just fucking loves the color green

[stuckonserotonin]

i don’t know how to explain how difficult it is to live a life where the person you loved most in this entire world is gone. something always feels wrong, off, odd. you can’t explain it, can’t put words to why you feel the way you do.

you just do.

and you wish every day that you could tell someone. maybe if i put words to it, it won’t hurt as much.

but that’s not true. nothing takes the pain away.

and no one really understands what it feels like to lose that person, either.

[stuckonserotonin]

no offense but why can’t more people be gentle to one another

[stuckonserotonin]

thinking about the time i was struggling to open my water bottle in class, and a girl that i had spoken to maybe 3 times came up to me and went

"let me help you baby"

and then proceeded to struggle to open the bottle