#anyway mila made me post this

[tetzoro]

titan jean. that is all.

[butchshepherd]

caring more than the average person abt dogs' wellbeing and dogs being given the best chances to thrive in the situations they're put in is making me feel like i sound like this today. sorry i guess.

[ohsohoney]

When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Part One

Eminem x Musician

Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.

Note: Hey! First time writing for Em so I figured I'd use a side account and see how it went? Honestly this is a whole series in my mind so might add onto this first part soon! An oc character but can be read as a reader insert if you prefer:)

Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2

Warnings: Lots of swearing, dark humour

Masterlist

I was mortified.

More so than I’d probably ever been, in truth. All because of a stupid video that had been taken a couple of years back when I’d had one drink too many on a holiday I’d always dreamt of.

To be fair though, the majority of the blame lied heavily on my younger sister’s shoulders, who’d found the stupid thing whilst reminiscing through old memories and thought it would be hilarious to post online. Forgetting about the millions of fans who would soon see it– and not just mine, it would seem.

No, because that just wasn’t how the internet worked, was it? And when a newly nominated artist, who had only been in the game for a couple years, was filmed rapping an old noughties classic instead of singing like expected, it was basically bound to go viral. Didn’t help that I was a Londoner through and through and had the accent to prove it, making the whole video that much harder to watch. In truth, I continued to cringe each time I was reminded of it, which was practically anytime I opened up social media or witnessed the guilty expression that continued to mar my sister’s face.

“Stop doing that.” I huffed at her later on when the worst of it still continued to storm on, almost whining actually as I looked away from my phone screen and down at the food I wasn’t really eating, just picking at. I was supposed to be mad, infuriated even, but it was proving to be a fucking chore when she kept on looking at me like that.

“Doing what?” Lottie retorted, not even attempting to wipe the culpable look from off of her face. She was currently residing back at mum’s now, seeing as how she had school and I’d only just landed back home, but I’d give it a day before she was back here again. My flight over had been strenuous, it always was when flying to and from Cali, but still I made time for her– even after the most recent stunt she had gone and pulled.

“Don’t do that either.” 

I’d meant to sound scolding but the soft laugh that escaped me truly was accidental. I couldn’t quite help it, I knew that being mad at her wouldn’t solve anything now and that she hadn’t really meant any harm by posting the video. That was just the type of person she was, she acted before she thought things through and didn’t ever think much for the consequences. Then again, she was still only fourteen and her putting the drunken moment on her Instagram story had just been one of those sibling type moments, the kind where you’d rip the piss out of one another simply because you could.

“I mean it, Lotts.” I sighed around the words, eyes flitting back to the screen and the way she was chewing on her lower lip. “It’s being sorted and, I don't know, I guess it’ll die down sooner or later. Mila reckons so anyway. We’ll give it a day or two, hey?”

A day or two did pass. And no such thing happened.

I’d been cooped up at home ever since I’d touched down at Heathrow, having jumped in the first cab available and fallen asleep the second I’d gotten in through the door. I’d been working out in LA for a couple weeks with a few other writers, just messing about with new sounds and ideas for the next album I eventually wanted to release. So I hadn’t been witness to the media catastrophe Lottie had created until later the next afternoon when Mila, my manager, had all but mowed down my front door, having called my phone three dozen times and gotten a guy she was currently seeing in the city to come buzz my intercom. It had been a wake up call and a half to say the least.

Still, she had assumed it would all die down fairly quickly, went as far to say that it could do wonders for my career– even with me being visibly tipsy– after having had the absolute gall to say that I hadn’t sounded half as bad as I thought I did. I’d cackled hysterically into the phone at that, then had somewhat of a meltdown, in utter disbelief over the apparent reaction she claimed the video had gone and garnered. Because I was absolutely not looking. Knew that if I did there would be too large a chance that I’d check myself into the nearest psychiatric unit. 

But as I said, a couple of days had passed and typically something like this would have eventually blown over when the next big story hit the headlines. White girl can spit a verse, who cared? Only then the VMA’s had happened and shit hit the fucking fan.

I hadn’t attended, shit like that had always irked me. I could perform in front of a crowd of thousands and step off feeling as high as a kite, but stick me on a carpet and force me to interact with cameras, questions, and people? That was where I drew the line.

At the start, I had tried. I’d been new on the scene and people had reasoned that I would just end up being another one hit wonder, so the label had figured it best if I got myself out there, if only to interact with other artists and producers in similar circles.

It had gone down a treat– like a cake being knocked over at the wedding of the year. Maybe even worse. I didn’t like to linger too long on it.

But I’d tried again and again afterwards, although it had only proven to worsen my mood each time and forced me to retreat, avoiding my team and the responsibilities I had lined up for a short while after. It was only following a particularly uncomfortable night that Mila had called it quits and had a contract drawn up stating that I only had to attend a certain amount of events a year. It had been at that moment that I’d realised just how fucked I would have been in this industry without her.

Even so, life still continued on without me and the VMA’s were just another show I would be mostly avoiding, only making a statement at the end of the night online for the nominations I’d been gifted.

It was around midnight when I heard the scream.

Lottie was staying with me, typical for whenever I was back in London for a few weeks at a time, and so I’d felt my heart literally drop to my feet at the very sound of her screech and legged it across the entirety of the house. At first, I’d thought she’d slipped and fallen, maybe cracked her head open on a counter. And then the thought of an intruder had crossed my mind whilst I’d gone skidding over the landing. So anyone could understand why I was so worked up when I finally threw open her bedroom door only to find her simply sat there on her phone, hand covering her mouth.

“What the hell is your problem? It’s just gone twelve, Lottie! I thought something had happened!” I rebuked her, chest heaving as I dropped the heavy bookend I’d managed to pick up somewhere on my way over down onto her desk. “Shit.”

Her eyes were wider than I’d ever seen them though when I finally did get around to catching my breath and chanced another glance back at her.

“I was literally just about to fall asleep.” Which really meant that I’d been getting into bed to scroll through my phone or read a book when I’d heard her shout. “Then you screamed as though Freddy Krueger was stood at your window.”

“Elia.” 

I blinked, Lottie rarely did that, used my entire name and not the usual shortened version or whatever other epithet that came to mind– and truly, there was a large variety, the shit I’d heard this kid come out with was insane. But I shook my head at the thought and quirked a brow at her. “What? Did someone die?”

“No,” She answered me, dropping her hand away from her face even though her jaw was still gaping, “But I just might.”

Rolling my eyes at the theatrics, I exhaled and walked over to slump on the end of her bed, figuring that something had happened between her and one of her friends, or maybe some lad she might’ve been speaking to. “And it deserved a scream like that? Honestly Lotts, just be thankful this place doesn’t have any neighbours listening in through the walls.” I told her, thinking back to my own adolescent years and the woman in the flat beside ours, “We’d have someone knocking at the door in under a half hour.”

It was her turn to roll her eyes then as she scoffed at me– like I was the one being dramatic here– before she then shook her head and shuffled hurriedly over the mattress to sit closer. “No Lia, just listen, look.”

Confused, I sighed and tilted my head when Lottie moved to shove her mobile in my face. I squinted at the sudden contrast, showing off my age and the horrific tragedy that was my eyesight, and tried to make sense of whatever it was that she was so hellbent on showing me. 

From what I could first make out, it was just a Twitter thread, but then Lotts then clicked on the main video at the top. I waited as the clip buffered for a second, then a familiar face panned into focus and I felt my brow furrow. I peered over at Lottie for a split second before her eyes were widening in retort and she gestured her chin back towards the screen.

I narrowed my own eyes in turn, but watched on.

It had to be a coincidence, I reasoned. That of all people it was him that Lottie was currently showing me.

“Well, aren’t we in for a show tonight! Eminem is in the house, people!” An interviewer started, she was a tall, leggy blonde who held a too big microphone too close to her chin. “How are you feeling?”

I shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was to see him on the VMA’s carpet, not after the comeback he’d made late last year with LP 2, but I was, eyes caught on the bleached buzz cut he’d since reverted back to for the album’s release. Fuck, I’d be so pissed if it came out that he was performing tonight and I’d gone ahead and missed it.

Lottie thumped my shoulder, hard, realising fairly quickly that I hadn’t really been listening, and so I scowled in retort but gritted my teeth to keep from thumping her right back. She might’ve been my sister, but I had well over a decade on the kid and was marginally her guardian, just not in writing.

The rapper had seemingly just finished commenting on a question the tall blonde had asked him and so I forced myself to pay closer attention, brain whirling as I wondered what could have possibly been so important that it had Lottie screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night.

“I feel that!” The woman practically beamed at the rapper, head nodding along to whatever he’d just said, “But it’s good to hear that you’re enjoying being back. In truth, I wasn’t sure I’d catch you here tonight, there’s been a lot of buzz surrounding you at the moment and not just because of the album!”

My heart stuttered in my chest. Actually, I was pretty sure it had gone and fallen out of my arse, especially when the interviewer continued to press on the topic and it appeared as though the man in question understood exactly what she was getting at. His stoic facade cracked just a tad and– there! A smirk. An ever so slight crook of his mouth. I shot a startled glance over at Lottie but her gaze was fixated on the screen.

“I mean, have you seen it?” The interviewer prompted whilst he simply stood there, fisted hands clasped before him. No sign of the split second curve he’d just had on his lips. “The whole world’s been wondering about your thoughts on the singer!”

And there it was.

“I can’t,” I started to say, turning away from the phone just as a rush of nausea flooded through me, but Lottie held strong, hand coming up to catch my shoulder so that she could position her phone back in my eyeline. “Lottie–” I tried. Please.

“Just listen.” She persisted, face so serious.

Immediately I wanted to rescind my earlier statement. This was now my most mortifying moment. In fact, I wanted to hide in the nearest cupboard and never come out again. How the fuck was I going to show my face in public, not to mention at the next event, after this?

I swallowed thickly, entirely unprepared to hear a word he had to say about me. I mean, who would be? This man was leagues above a majority of the industry, me included. Never had I ever even thought that he could hear my name in passing, let alone listen to one of my songs playing in some shop he was coincidentally in or a random radio station. But here he now was, rolling his lips as he pondered over a question which concerned that stupid fucking video. 

“I hate you.” I whispered at Lottie, mostly in hopes to cover up whatever he was about to say, but also because I was embarrassed beyond belief. And this was all her fault.

In the time spent since the drunken video had first gone up and now, I had yet to even think about him ever seeing it. Because the idea was that far fetched. But this was me, so of course he had.

“I’ve heard it.” Marshall confirmed, his head dipped in a barely there nod. My throat cinched. I wondered briefly how quickly I’d be able to tie myself a noose.

“And?” The woman prodded and internally I cursed her future bloodline, hoping that she'd somehow spawn the next antichrist or that her grandchild would become a shit-headed politician.

The man in question merely hummed, hollowing out his cheeks. “I was surprised, I have to admit. But she’s good, even when wasted.”

“I wasn’t fucking wasted!” 

I hadn't even realised I’d spoken out loud until Lottie snorted on a chuckle. I turned towards her, brows raised high, “What? I wasn’t. You were there!”

I rolled my eyes when she didn’t deign me with some sort of assent but my head snapped back over to where she still gripped the phone when I heard him speak again, his voice echoing throughout the quiet bedroom.

“Then again, her shit goes hard. So it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise.”

That heart of mine that I kept on talking about? Yeah, I had zero clue as to what the fuck was going on with it now, only that my chest was wound as tight as it possibly could be and my eyes stung as I withheld the urge to even blink.

“You’re a fan?” The woman asked him, appearing genuinely surprised by the notion, even though it sounded more like a declaration rather than the question it was.

Marshall hummed, sparing a brief glance over his shoulder when a group shuffled on past them, disrupting the interview. It didn’t deter the woman though and I couldn’t blame her, no matter how much it pained me.

“So, could this mean we’ll be seeing a new featured artist on whatever you put out next?”

I made some sort of inhuman sound at that, but barely moved a muscle. And then I all but shutdown when the rapper's wide eyes flickered over to peer straight into the camera’s lens, “I mean, if she’s down.”

The next scream that was emitted once again came from Lottie, but I couldn’t think to scold her for it, not when I was hardly even functioning and wanted to implode myself. 

The girl toppled over onto me, shaking my shoulders whilst she squealed unabashedly. “If. She’s. Down!” She repeated, squealing with excitement, “El, this is insane! How are you not screaming too?”

The air I forced from my lungs came out in a breathless chuckle as I clung to the forearm that was still wrapped around my collar. In truth, I didn’t know how the hell I was supposed to react. 

“Figure you’ve screamed enough for the both of us.” I replied faintly, not really thinking but somehow managing to carry on, mostly out of sheer shock. I glanced her way, “I feel a bit sick.”

Lottie just shook me harder and when we eventually went falling down onto the duvet in a mess of limbs I wondered what I was going to do with the knowledge that I’d just been given. God. He knew who I was. The shock of it was almost like reliving my first time on stage all over again.

That night I ended up listening to Lottie rant on and on for a good while after whilst she scrolled through her Twitter feed and the rest of the internet. Mila eventually intervened, calling after having seen it too, and was as smug as ever. “Told you.” She’d said the second I’d hit the answer button and I hadn’t had the heart to play it off or act as though I hadn’t seen it either. 

After the interview eventually finished trending and stopped being posted here, there, and everywhere, I was left with a flow of new followers but also a nightmare of opinions spouting from every corner of the planet on any comment section I had to offer. I forced myself to come off most apps I had downloaded after that and resorted to gaining my daily entertainment, and any real news, from Lottie. Which seemed sad, in retrospect, but honestly? It was more than a little self-serving and I’d even managed to get a shit load of stuff done.

I worked on a couple new songs, sticking to what I did best, but my mind did end up drifting away every so often, back to a conversation I’d had with Mila and Travis at the label a couple days after the media storm had passed. It seemed they all wanted me to try implementing a few new concepts into the music I was currently working on before we started to draw up ideas for the next album. Travis reasoned that even attempting to add a couple freestyles into the motions whilst I went about writing would do me wonders later on. 

I just felt uncomfortable with it all, really. I’d never been a rapper. I mean, I loved it. It was mainly what I’d been brought up on, having grown up in an area where every kid on the estate was either attempting to become the next big thing or just blaring the biggest hits out of their car stereos. But that was just it. I listened and sang along, had even built up an extensive collection which I was immensely proud of, but the label were now aiming for this next album to make it onto a Grammy nominations list. It was all they had been fretting over since I’d somehow managed to chart the last one– although a single number one and an almost throw away making it to number seven didn’t make me all that hopeful. 

Even so, it forced me to wonder how it would all work if I started to switch things up now. I could appreciate all genres but I didn’t wanna become the next hopper just to appease the people yessing me and then fall off.

The entire concept had me confused and so I had taken to keeping my head down for a while longer.

Lottie had headed back to mum’s earlier that morning, seeing as I was due to make an appearance in Paris for Fashion Week, attending the Vogue show alongside Vivienne Westwood. An utter dream, yes, but also still an incredibly daunting reality. Even so, it was something I couldn’t quite worm my way out of even if I had wanted to– see, with that contract there still came clauses.

I’d been prepping for my upcoming early morning flight most of the day, showering later on than anticipated just so that I could pack my case and eat before I eventually climbed into bed. Hoping to somehow get a couple hours kip.

I’d thrown on a robe and kept the speakers blaring once I’d eventually jumped out from under the spray, wet hair curling at the ends as I worked on throwing something quick together in my kitchen.

It wasn't long before I went and took the bowl I’d just made out into the living room with me, simply so that I could curl up on the settee and wrap up the few emails I’d been working on earlier. I was just nodding along and humming to the next song that played through the overhead speakers when my phone started to buzz against my ankle, shooting a funny feeling up through the bone. I was quick to pick it up, wrinkling my nose at the feel and not paying much mind to the caller, figuring it had to be either Mila or Lottie.

“Hello?”

There was a short pause as I shifted the phone against my ear before a voice eventually sounded, “This Elia?”

Frowning, I casted a quick glance at the phone’s screen to find a number with an unfamiliar area code staring back at me. I let my gaze stray on over towards a clock I had hanging on the far wall only to find that it had just gone eight. 

I fumbled for a moment, “Um. It is, can I ask who’s calling?”

A low cough rumbled through the line before the same voice spoke again, I shuffled to set my laptop off to the side on the sofa, brow furrowed. “It’s Em– Marshall.”

Suddenly my head felt so very empty and my mouth was working around words that couldn't seem to find their way out. Em. The Em?? Fucking, Em?

I’d obviously been quiet a beat too long, drowning in the sudden panic that had shrouded me, because he spoke up again, “That Nas playin’?”

I shot a startled glance over my shoulder to where the fancy sound system was installed, the biggest reason I’d gone and purchased the home, in truth, and was immediately reminded of the music I had piercing through the air. Clumsily, I rolled off of the corner of the settee so that I could stumble over to turn the thing off, doing exactly that before I was forced to blink at the sudden silence that greeted me.

I winced and was quick to turn the music back on, keeping it low. All the while I still held my phone close to my chest.

“Uh, yeah. Hi!” I blundered helplessly after a moment, carding a hand through my damp hair as I stared at the empty wall before me stupidly. I wasn’t sure what to say, let alone do. I could sort of wrap my head around the interview, his brief mention of me. But a fucking phone call? It was on another level.

He chuckled though, enough so that I felt myself flush bashfully at my obvious awkwardness and forced my body to move back towards the sofa, if only so that I didn’t have to stand on shaky legs anymore. 

“Hi.” He mimicked, voice low albeit a tad amused.

I smiled. Unable to do anything but, in all honesty, as I lowered myself down onto the cushions, vaguely aware that I should probably be saying something else now that he’d gone and replied, but was simply more than a little caught off guard by everything. 

“Sorry, I– Well, I didn’t expect your call. Or anyones really.” I murmured, trying my best to shake off the nerves that were apparently wreaking havoc on my brain to mouth filter. “I just jumped out of the shower, had yet to turn off the stereo. Sorry.” How many times had I just apologised? I wanted to scream.

“You’re good.” He assured me, voice unlike what I probably would have expected and so I blinked once more at the sound of it, reminded that it was actually him I was talking to. But all that was fluttering through my head was ‘what the fuck are you doing calling me?’ “Nice choice, I gotta say. This an alright time for you to talk? I don’t wanna disturb you much.”

My eyes widened at both the compliment in song choice and well, him. Then withheld another sudden urge to scream, the hand not holding my phone clenching into a tight fist against my chest. “No, no, of course not. I mean, you’re fine! Not disturbing me at all.”

His next reply sounded more than just a little mirthful, “Sure ‘bout that?”

I willed myself to relax and took an inconspicuous breath as I pulled my legs back up under me. “I’m sure.” I told him, laughing lightly at myself for being so socially inept– or maybe it was just this entire scenario I’d been shoved into. “How’d you even get my number anyway?” 

I hadn’t meant for it to sound so forceful or abrupt, but it had been yet another question my sluggish brain hadn’t been able to find an answer to. 

“Mila?” He answered me, and I blinked stupidly at the name. “We had a mutual contact, figured I’d chance askin’ her instead of gettin’ lost in your DM’s. That cool? She said she’d let you know.”

The conniving cow, I thought to myself, though I wouldn’t have put it past her to have reasoned with herself that I would’ve probably freaked out if she had told me beforehand, before then having proceeded to just let my phone ring out whilst I stared pitifully at it. She knew me all too well. 

“She did not.” I replied through a baited breath, “But no, yeah. You’re alright, just caught me off guard is all. You’re probably the last person I expected to call, if I’m being honest here..”

When I heard him laugh once more I grinned, all too pleased with myself. It was a low gruff sound, not deep enough to be sarcastic or ingenuine, but rather warm. It surprised me.

“Oh yeah? Even after everything that’s gone down lately?”

My eyes slipped closed at the instantaneous reminder and I winced. The video. Honestly, in the whirlwind that wasn’t just my life at the moment, but this phone call too, I could have almost forgotten about it.

“I still can’t believe you saw that.”

Marshall let go of another amused huff that I figured to be a chuckle, breathing in deep enough that he forced me to wait on his next words. “I don’t lie. I meant what I said. But tell me, how many drinks d’you have in you?”

I curled my tongue against the back of my teeth in hopes to keep from grinning too hard, feeling a slight sting at the tip. “I was tipsy.” I argued pointlessly, knowing it would be a tireless venture, “I’d only had a couple.”

He hummed, seemingly not convinced.

“It was years ago, too!” I felt the need to tack on, the rosy hue the alcohol had given my cheeks sprung to mind and made me wonder. My face wrinkled as I dragged a helpless hand across it. “Who even sent it to you?”

“A couple people, actually.” Marshall ended up revealing and his words sounded playful enough that I could almost picture the curl of his mouth. “My daughter was one.”

Without thinking my hand flew up towards my mouth and I shook my head as I let it rest against my palm. “You’re not being serious.”

“Dre too.”

I let go of a hissed curse and crumpled a little bit in my seat before laughing stupidly at myself. If I couldn’t talk myself out of this then I supposed I would just have to get over it. I hoped thinking sensibly would allow me to actually follow through on that sentiment, but I very much doubted it.

Marshall laughed again, slow and easy almost as though he’d shared it with me a hundred times before. “I wasn’t kiddin’ neither. ’s why I called.”

Pulling my head from out of my hands, I wet my lower lip, mind promptly flashing back to the clip Lottie had shown me. “What’s that meant to mean?” I asked him, treading cautiously. 

“Listen.” He began, pausing only briefly to inhale before he then added, “I’m workin’ on another album–”

“No.” I interrupted, eyes suddenly wide and alert, “Already?”

A tittered snort followed the disruption but my mind was already reeling. 

“You’re not fucking with me?”

In all honesty I had prepared myself to wait a couple more years for another drop, hoping for him to feature or for someone to send for him if only so that he’d make a track in reply. I’d been obsessed with his recent work, even going as far as to add it onto the tour bus playlist late last year. It had actually been played so much the roadies and the band had threatened to rip the system out. But a new album? Fuck. I hadn’t expected it.

“Who else knows?”

There was a slight click on the other side of the line. Or scuffle. “As of right now? Like six people.”

I swallowed down the understanding that then hit me, but my stomach lurched at the very thought of it. “And I’m one?” I chuckled, holding back the hysterical laughter I felt bubble as my hand fell over my heart, “Wow, I feel honoured, Mathers.” It was teasing, the rib I meant, though my eyes still widened when I realised what I’d gone and said, not wanting him to take it the wrong way. 

I needn’t have worried. 

“As you fuckin’ should be.”

I gave a real laugh at that, almost a full-belly type shit. But could you really blame me? 

I was still smiling as I went to retort, humming with it, “God, you really just went and sprung that shit on me.”

“Hold you to keepin’ it on the low for now.” Marshall said, reminding me how paranoid the press and Hollywood had made him out to be in the past. I wondered how much truth there was in the sentiment. I mean, the man was almost a recluse– not that I could blame him, I was pulled from the same sort of cloth there– but to put a secret like that in my hands? It had to take some amount of faith.

I nodded seriously, even though he couldn’t see the gesture. Seemed he could hear the sincerity in my answer though, “‘Course.” I told him and then chewed on my lower lip for a second before a soft snicker escaped me. “That the only reason you called though? I mean, as honoured as I am to be one of the infamous six, I’m surprised you just phoned to let me in on the know. Have I just been roped into some sort of celeb elitist group? Weird initiation.”

His huffed laugh was breathy and made my mouth twitch that little bit more. 

“Nah. You always this weird though?” Marshall wondered and I bared my teeth in a light grimace, figuring I’d gone too far with that one. Or maybe.. I'd just hit the mark? I snorted lightly at the thought.

“It was an honest question! I’ve heard horror stories.” And wasn’t that the truth, events and parties weren’t all about the awards and just getting trollied. Some of those fuckers were as strange as people could come.

The man clucked his tongue, although I could hear the slight smile in his sarky response. “Uhuh. Sorry to disappoint but nah, initiation starts in the belly of LA. Gotta dissect a virgin and drink Ciroc out of their intestines. Funnel that shit down.”

The snort I gave in turn was ugly and loud enough that it forced a hand to fly up and cover my mouth, but it didn’t appear to bother the rapper none, who chuckled before clearing his throat.

“Change this shit to Facetime.” He said not a second after, swiftly cutting short my absurd amusement. “Then we can talk about the album.”

I fumbled for a moment. “I look a mess.”

“Good thing this ain’t a fuckin’ fashion show then.” He only pressed, “You think I give a shit what you look like right now?”

That struck an odd chord in me for some reason, but I didn’t want to linger much on the feeling. “No. But I do, dickhead. It’s half eight at night, I have sudocrem on my face and I look like a dog off of Lady and the Tramp.”

I was so flustered by the very thought of acquiescing to the man’s demand that I didn’t even think much of the name I’d gone and called him. 

“Again, do I give a shit? And what did you just call me?”

I paused, reeling back to whatever it was I’d just spouted at him. Upon rehashing my words I felt my tongue press between my lips to keep from laughing loudly, if Mila or Lottie had been there I’d already be strung up by a pair of metaphorical balls. 

“You heard me fine.” I brushed it off, if he wanted to call me out of the blue and act all chummy then chummy was what he’d get.

Besides it wasn’t like I’d meant the term maliciously, I used that type of endearment with everybody. Something my manager had tried and failed to force out of me time and time again.

“But back to this whole ‘seeing my mug thing’. Not happening, mate. Why couldn’t you have called like, six hours ago? I looked like an actual person then.”

“Dickhead.” He muttered beneath his breath, barely even loud enough for me to have heard him and I could only guess that he was shaking his head with it, hopefully somewhat amused. “You ain’t an actual person then?” He said in reply, forgoing the name calling for now, “Figures, you give off lizard vibes.”

“Fuck you!” My laugh was sudden, jaw having dropped a tad at the quip. “Lizard vibes, the fuck are you then? And yes, an actual person! You can’t just call people, drop a bomb, and then demand things!”

“Shit typically works.” He quipped all too quickly that it had me shaking my head around another quiet smile of my own. “Just entertain me though, for a moment.”

My head fell back against the arm of the sofa, eyes casted towards the high ceiling which loomed above. I couldn’t quite believe I was actually considering it.

He didn’t even have to goad me before I relented. I huffed, blowing a strand of hair from out of my face as I sat back up, “Fine. Just gimme a sec.” 

He hummed.

Elbowing my way off the settee I skidded over to the closest mirror, dragged a hand through my mostly dried hair and made sure that I didn’t have racoon eyes from any lingering mascara I’d had on before my shower. The patches of sudocrem would have to stay though, I deemed, seeing as he already knew about those. 

I gave up on the preening and sighed as I fell back onto the sofa, thankful for the dim lights the living room offered in that moment. It was just as I was switching the call though that a thought hit me, making me question if the reason he’d asked me to start the Facetime was due to him wanting to give me the option to turn it down or simply because he had no idea how to do it himself. “Still there, old man?”

A scoff echoed into the room before my phone screen stuttered and I was left staring at the sharp lines of his face. It wasn’t like I hadn’t actually believed it was him I was talking to, but seeing the man was another thing altogether. He was a real person and that idea alone had me reeling. 

I wrinkled my nose almost shyly around a smile when that sharp gaze of his slid away from something behind the camera to meet mine. He tilted his head to look me over, the hood of his jumper moving with the motion. 

“I was right about the lizard thing.” Was the only greeting he offered me, jutting his chin out as he feigned all seriousness. 

My mouth dropped open upon hearing him and my tongue quickly flicked out towards a canine to keep from biting back at him. There was humour written in the gesture though, even as I moved to narrow my eyes. “He’s got jokes! Reused ones, I might add, but jokes nonetheless.” I snarked, lifting my eyebrows at him in exaggeration, “Hilarious.”

His mouth curled very, very briefly, but I was quick to work out that it was all in the eyes with him. They held a certain amount of mirth as they flickered over my face. I wondered what he saw. 

“Suits you though. Even with all the…” He waved a hand over his own face, probably referencing the white dots I had littered in a few places.

With a shake of my head I raised a hand to my chest, feigning a fond appreciation for the sardonic comment. “Is that the famous charm the world’s heard so much about then? Really know how to make a girl feel special, Mathers.”

His eyes slitted but still shone with a slight glaze, he hummed deeply in retort. “Best believe it. Why d’you think I’ve gotten divorced twice?”

A low whistle escaped me before I then laughed, eyes squinting with the strength of it. “Figured you might just have a kink for courtrooms.” 

His tongue swept into his cheek at my boldness, fighting back a real smile as he glanced away and then back again. “I’m down bad for a good Judge. Spank me vibes, you know?”

I chuckled outwardly at that, amused by his quick witted replies. But that in itself didn’t surprise me, it was well known just how hilarious the man could be, his stoic demeanour only prodding that revelation further. 

That sternness his face seemed to consistently hold softened though in that next moment and I watched on as he shuffled a little closer to the camera, sat somewhere indoors with enough natural light that he could have only been in his kitchen. It hit me then how wild this whole thing suddenly was. “What’s with the last name anyway?”

I blinked, caught off guard by his ask. “Um,” I fumbled, a slight wrinkle forming between my brow, “What do you mean, me calling you Mathers?”

He hummed and I had to think about it for a second. Ultimately I ended up gifting him a shrug, “Don’t know. Just feels strange to call you Eminem or whatever.” I laughed lightly at myself, hand falling to my knee to toy with a loose thread on the hem of my robe. “What do people usually call you?”

It was his turn to shrug then, his being a singular and fluid motion whereas mine had been more thoughtless. He was watching again though, the wide eyes I was so used to seeing in old interviews where he was always playing a part were now gentler, narrowed sure, but softer and slightly wrinkled at the very edges.

I tugged on the frayed thread, wrapping it around my finger enough to whiten the skin before I had to let it go again. “Is Em okay? Or just Marshall maybe?” I queried, watching him too.

“Whatever you want.” He murmured and it was then that I noticed he’d propped his phone up somewhere in front of him because a pair of hands came to rest at the bottom of the screen just as he pressed further into the counter he was sat at.

I wrung my lips to one side, teeth biting into the inside of my cheek enough to keep from smiling much more than I already was. “Most people call me El or Lia. Elia just started to feel unnatural away from, you know, everyone else.”

It was the worlds now, as well as one of few reasons I had for the stigma I felt around my own name. 

The man jerked his head in a short nod in response whilst his fingers intertwined against a marble countertop. “So we should just slide that into the writin’ credits then? Or you finally gone take me up on that offer of a feature?”

You know that odd feeling you get when you’re on the tube or a plane and so suddenly your ears just pop and there's this ringing sound that floods the single sense? It just happens, out of nowhere, and you blink. So all you can immediately focus on is the sound. The odd feeling of it driving waves deeper and deeper into your skull. And the only way you can recover is by holding your own breath?

That was what that question felt like to me. 

“What?”

His eyes were alight, akin to a low flame of flickering amusement and perhaps hope. “You deaf now too? Know you heard me.”

Of course I fucking heard him but that didn’t mean I understood. “This is for real?”

Finally, he let go of a dulcet chuckle, almost a ringing sound in and of itself. “You gone make me repeat it? You in, or not?”

“How is that even a question?” I breathed back to him, my hand shaking against the hem of my robe. “Yes! God, if I ever say to no to an ask like that you better fucking shoot me. What the fuck, Marshall?”

That chuckle again.

It was unlike anything else, the only sound I could hear around the blood rushing between my ears. Stupidly, I pinched my thigh and released a stuttered breath when the twist of skin radiated a short snap of pain up my leg.

“That the go ahead then?”

I must’ve looked so incredibly starstruck but I couldn’t even bring myself to care, this was unreal. I nodded, almost frantically at him. “Of course that’s the fucking go ahead! Are you sure about this? I mean, I don’t know how much help I’ll be. I mostly write radio shit.”

“Your earlier stuff ain’t.” Em shot back, the quip startling me enough to snap my jaw shut because not a lot of people ever dug that deep. But he continued on before I could think to hone in on the slip, “‘sides, your lyrics are what I fuck with. That shit makes you think, has you lingerin’. Playing with words is the aim, I want people thinkin’, leachin’ onto each syllable and every phrase. You do that.”

The air in my lungs lurched.

I could only offer him one reply, “When do we start?”

[efingart]

Commissioned from @brokencharcoal

A few months ago, I decided I needed some self-indulgent ship art and commissioned my favorite artist brokencharcoal to draw it for me. And omg did they knock it out of the park. (I need to note that they got it done super fast I was just slow to post it, I'm sorry)

They're also the sweetest person and so easy to work with. They even made suggestions to my original idea that even made it better! Anyway go commission them, they're the best.

Thank you so much for drawing Mila & Frank for me I love it so so much. 💙

[farfallasims]

hi maddiiii!!!!! how are you? i hope you are well! anyways, do you think you could tell me how to make my sims look more unique? i am wondering how you avoid same-face syndrome (lol) and make really beautiful and out of the ordinary sims, for example Lomi, Asami, and the Ivanov family. i am aware of your genetics post with all of your cc listed, but i am not sure if you have answered how exactly you make each sim truly special. thank you so much for taking the time to read this. you are a beautiful gift to us 🦋

Hi gorgeous, I'm lovely & I hope you are as well!

My biggest tip for making more unique faces which is what I've been doing lately is having a face reference. Pinterest has sooooo many beautiful faces to look at and by having a reference of someone you find beautiful it'll promote you to do more unique features, try different presets, etc.

For reference, Mila.

Is it exact carbon copy? Of course not, I am not that talented at all. But, it made me use presets I wouldn't normally use, try different genetics, etc.

I hope this helps!

[littlemissclandestine]

hey ꒰(･‿･)꒱ I just saw your Adler edits and I luv them sm !! your blog is amazing too I read you have ocs that you wanna publish and made me wanna do it myself but I’m shy 🙈 but i do want to see yours ! is your oc from cw and modern warfare II ? also which one is your favorite. i love ocs x canon too and i have met a couple of them i enjoy sm !! you have any fav oc x canon in the fandom ?

srry if it’s to much!!! I love your blog 💗

Hello dear lovely Anon!!

Dude i love your energy first of all. Like i'm getting noice vibes from you haha 💜

And OMG i'm so glad to hear that you love my Adler edits! 😭 I don't really post my edits on here because it feels like tumblr is more for fanart and fanfic etc. I might upload them all to youtube when i get a chance for lols. But honestly thank you for that! You've given me a motivation boost 🫶

Over the moon that you think my blog is amazing! I think it's chaotic tbh but happy you love it! Mwah 😽

Aww that's cayoot, you wanna see my OCs? Soon, promise. You should share your ocs with the world when you're ready too! <33

Kind of answered some of your question(s) on OCs in this post but here ya go anyway:

In terms of my OCS, I have 2 for the MW universe (reboot), 2 for the BO universe (mainly CW though because of ✨Adler✨ ) and 2 for some other video games. But you know what? I swear I just keep making random ones in my head so i may have more in store. -> That rhymes hehe. See it? O...kay i'll stop. AHEM

My favourite OC out of my collection would be...

NOPE can't choose. That's pure evil Anon. It's like picking your favourite child. 😭

And then out of the whole COD fandom? Yeesh that's a tough one because I love loads if i'm being honest. People are so creative and it just puts a huge smile on my face seeing them in their element and vibing. Though, the ones i'm currently following the most are sleepyconfusedpotato's Jade x Ghost pairing and alypink's Aleks x Adler pairing. They both bring me immense joy tbh. Like I actually scream whenever I see a post about them and my family look at me like wtf cbkdksjsk

Honourable mentions: iamcautiouslyoptimistic's Helina x Mason, alexxmason's Selena x Mason, alypink's Aly x Price & efingart's Mila x Woods. Y'all i could go on and on tbh. You'd think I love BO more but i don't looool.

Wasn't too much at all! Ask as much as you want, my love. Thanks a bunch, honestly. It makes me all giddy when i get an ask. I find it cute that you wanna interact with but feel a lil shy. YOLO Anon, YOLO.

Best wishes! 🌠

[liesmyth]

had a bad gym experience (everyone was mean to me) ( ok not everyone but like two people) anyway regale me with ur positive experiences pleasee

nuuuu I'm sorry anon!!<333 I will [redacted] them for you

My gymgoing rn is very chill because basically nobody is in town in August and it's quite empty with less staff and I get to do whatever I want <3 with no people in the way, which is cool but also a bit lonely... I miss Andrea the weight room trainer who's on the late afternoon shift on Mondays, and starting at around 9PM he puts on a workout playlist that's made up entirely of Italian anime openings from the 90s and the 00s [here's a post for context about what Italian openings meant to Italian millennials]. I cannot stress enough how cool it is to work out to the Dragon Ball Z theme song especially when everyone in the room starts singing along. Sometimes I send whatsapp audios to my friends that's nothing but the Holly and Benji (Kyaputen Tsubasa) or Mila e Shiro (Atakkā Yū!) theme songs, and they're like "Oh so you're at the gym right?"

[moonlinos]

mila. oh. my. god. i just finished reading invisible string and it is so FUCKING good!!!! that funny part is that i was just scrolling through my tumblr explore fyp, and i just happened to pass by your fic :0 i read the first part and i got SO hooked. you write so well, i love the way you write the mc's thoughts about love and how they developed over her time with minho. minho being soft and saying that he does stupid shit when he's in love just makes me wanna explode (but in a good way) as a person who had an ex, i can relate to the mc. maybe i haven't had five exes before, but i am more wary of loving and giving my heart to people because i was really heartbroken when that happened. anyways, you write so well, and you have just gained yourself a new follower! will def be binging some of your other fics soon :)))) i hope you have a great day/night, and your hard work is greatly appreciated ^-^

Ahhh this ask made my day, thank you so much 🥺 I’m glad you enjoyed it, I also enjoyed writing this story so much I kinda miss it now that it’s finished. I sadly don’t have any other fics for you to read ªªª ��� but I am actively writing like three fics rn, so I’ll definitely post something new soon!!

Thank you for your words again, I mean it this really made my day 🩷

[laladellakang]

OMG YOU’RE BACK!!! AAAHHHH EVERYONE SHUT UP—

As a note, I’m actually the owner of @1800-enha-mila (which is now changed to @enmi-land bc apparently I’m indecisive and don’t know what I want to be called LOL) and this is my admin account

so anyway I woke up and saw I got a notifications that you posted and I legit screamed (internally) and then when I saw that you mentioned me I ✨screamed✨ (not so internally) and let me just say — I’d LOVE to see a post by you inspired by my dark blood post bc not even kidding I am such a huge fan 🤧🤧

I love both you and della sm like not even joking!! 😫 your writing is >>> and character development is mwah top tier!!

but ANWAY!! Sorry for the long as paragraph rant thing but I just wanna say keep up the ✨AMAZING ✨WORK and ofc welcome back!! (Btw sorry to hear you were struggling with your account- hope everything is okay!!) but yeah you’re totally just like super Talented! Brilliant! Spectacular! Never been done before—

okay I’ll stop lol but hope you have an awesome day! 🫶🫶

you made me blush SO HARD in class that my prof literally asked if i was okay, i am not lying i swear to god. it was so embarrassing omfg

this was so sweet and thank you soooo much for your support, it means a lot to me 🤍

your oc/fic is going AMAZING thus far and (correct me if i'm wrong because this kinda sounds egocentric) i'm incredibly flattered that you felt inspired by mine. keep it up! i can't wait for the other posts 🤍🤍

everyone go check out mila!! (she's poly too 😉)

[a-crumb-of-whump]

[Click here for the statistic questions]

Here are the answers for question 3 of the form! I will be sharing responses for all the open questions in separate posts:) lemme know if you wanna be tagged for them!

Tell me about the first whump story you ever created (if you haven't written/drawn anything, tell me about the first whump story you read!)

Content: Pregnancy, non-con drugging, presumed dead, werewolves, hybrids.

i didn’t even know about whump at this point, but i wrote a book on WATTPAD about an old circus that burned down and how this guy and his dad were the only escapees. they worked at the circus. he comes back with his dad YEARS later. they then find out a lot of the people are still alive, but they were stuck there. i don’t remember why. the old ringmaster was the same age as the main character. his name was grey, the ringmaster was named Vivian, there was another guy named Everest. I don’t remember why Everest was there, but he was like a second main character. probably comedic relief. anyway, it burnt down when the three of them were 16. Yes. Vivian did own a 70+ year old circus at the age of 16. Her grandpa died, put her in the will when she was TEN, and she got it. she made it better than six years later almost everyone “died”. Anyway, Grey comes back looking for his older sister’s books. She had been pregnant with twins at only 18, baby daddy had left her, it was a whole thing. Anyway, she did journaling and was planning to commit after giving birth. i don’t remember why. she is dead, her twins, WHO SHE WAS ONLY FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT WITH somehow survived. My ten year old brain didn’t work. Essentially, Tommy and Mila are his niece and nephew. They’re also bunny hybrids, if i remember, and Everest was a werewolf. idk man. anyway, mila runs off to be with “the master of circles” no one knows who it is, so Everest and Grey go looking for them. They find Vivian, who had gone insane, and was using Mila to test her shots on. It was some obedience serum or smth, i dunno. anyway, mila is “consenting” (she’s underage and drugged so it doesn’t count) to these tests. She realizes she was found out, SO SHE BURNS DOWN THE VILLAGE HER EX-EMPLOYEES WERE LIVING IN. Anyway, i don’t remember what happens, but i do know that Grey uses the obedience serum on Vivian, they smash, and at some point way later they fall in love. Vivian is, less insane at that point. Also, i think Grey was consistently drugging Vivian so that she would stay in the relationship and would be obedient to him, which everyone was just okay with??? idk, 10 year old me was fucked up, man. It’s off wattpad now though.

-

Content: Psychic whumpee, reformed villain, minor public whump.

(It's still in my wips lol it's been sitting there for years) Basically, whumpee has psychic powers and is dealing with severe social anxiety. He's a reformed villain who went to MC's side after caretaker and MC talked him out of the evil organisation (where whumper was his superior). So the whumpee is trying to get to work, where caretaker is his new boss, and he's waiting for the train. Suddenly a voice from the speakers say that the train won't be able to pass because of technical problems. Whumpee realizes he won't be able to get to work, he'll disappoint caretaker who has work for him, and he's currently surrounded by an angry mob. His psychic powers get out of control and he starts levitating unconsciously. The angry mob starts to see him and of course they start to yell atrocities (psychic powers aren't common or well seen in this universe) and throw rocks at him. He's forced to run away and hides in a dark alley, sobbing and full of little cuts and bruises. Caretaker calls him to make sure he's ok and to ask why he isn't there yet. Whumpee tries to reassure caretaker that he's ok, but caretaker can hear the panic and the sobs, and so caretaker closes the shop and goes to find him. (I haven't finished writing past that so... yeah that's it. It's a bit clumsy since this is my first fanfiction and whump work but yeah that's that i guess)

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Content: Self-sacrifice, torture, captivity.

One of my first major WIPs was intended to be a PG-at-most fantasy a la some recent popular cartoons. However, I ended up giving the preteen protagonist an older sister who bore much closer witness to the generic fantasy tragedy that resulted in said protag being separated at birth from their magical family (you know the drill), and she got the brunt of my budding interest in whump...in many scenarios, she'd be protecting her girlfriend or the young protag and her group, but more in a whumpee sort of way than the caretaker role most stories I'd seen would shove people like her into, perhaps striking a deal for their safety with her sadistic estranged grandmother (I was...working through some generational trauma at the time) that resulted in her being captured and tortured...and often betrayed anyway. I was fascinated by the aspect of vulnerability, what it would take for someone to willingly give themself up and what pieces of their resolve and personality would remain. I wrote some plans/summaries for whumptober in...I think 2017? But never fully wrote anything up or drew art pieces with enough detail to be recognizable as whump, I still had some deep-seated paranoia about someone going through my work and thinking I was a freak so all the details are sadly lost.

-

Content: Hanging, death, whippings, doll whump.

I don’t know if this qualifies, but I would play whump stories with my disney dolls. I was about 5/6 years old, and I pretended that I captured all the princesses (+1 prince) as a big evil human and they would then try to run away. Of course, my whumpee - Ariel - would lead them and so she would always get punished by me by whipping her in front of everyone. Sometimes I would play that they fell from high places, sometimes I hanged them, sometimes I would just throw them into the air. The prince was from Snow White, but Ariel was my self-insert, and so I played out emotional whump too - unrequited love, cheating, Ariel dying right in front of him... Snow White murdering Ariel... Yeah. Then I moved on to drawing and writing with original characters AND since I was given a camera on my 7th birthday, I even starred in my whumpy scenarios myself. I still have the videos. Yes, I do feel insane.

-

Content: Non-con drugging, starvation, beatings, guns, murder, recovery.

I wrote an action/whump about my main character, Danny, getting kidnapped by the villain for publicly showing the world how horrible he is. She was drugged, beaten, starved, etc. When she finally escaped, she got shot in the shoulder and almost died, passing out just seconds before reaching saftey. She then goes to spend months in and out of the hospital as she goes through recovery. Later on in the story, she goes to have an EPIC battle with the villain, gets stabbed, kills the villain, and restores the messed up world that the Villain made when he was in control. She almost dies twice throughout the entire story and I am currently in the process of fully writing this story and modifying it to hopefully publish it as an action book one day!

-

Content: Collars, cages, death threat.

ok my whump feels 2 personal to even write down. i am a tag stalker and a daydreamer. the first whump i read is a core memory i remember it was a tumblr post reposted onto one of those "story inspiration" instagram accounts that had non whump prompts but i guess this one snuck in. it was something like. villain had hero locked in a cage and collared. they were like "its a shame there's that stupid curse on us otherwise i would have killed you already. don't worry though i'll take good care of you :)" AND SHEESH THE WHUMPERFLIES THAT DEFINITELY DID SOMETHING FOR 14YO ME. people in the comments were calling it weird i felt so embarrassed for being into it bye

-

Content: Phobia being handled very poorly.

I honestly can't remember. It's been years and years since I first started writing this stuff, but some one early one I do remember is when I wrote one about a character with nyctophobia and his friends wanted to try to help him get rid of it, but they went about it the wrong way and tricked him into going into a dark closet and locking him in there. I remember that he was trying to vigorously to get out that he busted up his arms and I think (??) they might've forgotten him in there for a while. It's been a while and I deleted it (agh) but that's one of my early ones

-

Content: Religious whump, forced to hurt.

I wrote about a creature I made up called 'The unders' who were basically like demons but also angels and really chill? Like instead of just heaven and hell the afterlife was one grand reality where you have 'the damned hills' but then like nirvana and vibes next door and there were 'council members' one of them was summoned as a teenager born to be a torturer to the souls who deserved it and was beaten and forced with magic and conditioning to torture his own friends people who'd seen his first steps just like whumper did to him.

-

Content: Religion.

I've been in christian and catholic schools for my whole childhood. So naturally, when I'm in kindergarten, I learn a bunch of bible stories. I was obsessed with Joseph being rejected by his brothers and being tossed in the hole. That was probably the most brutal thing to me as a kid. So I constantly drawing that scene over and over again from different angles, adding different situations that Joseph would find himself in while in the hole, even a couple of escape plans. That made such a huge impact on me.

-

Content: Self-sacrifice, medical whump (?).

Ooooo… I think it was grade 4. I was at a young authors conference, and was given free control over a story Idea and its planning. I chose a fantasy story which I later titled “The Battle begins” where in the first 4 chapters an elf guard named Zane takes a sword wound for his guard friend and another for the princess/MC he is protecting. But he hides it. Feild medicine and medicinal magical plants ensues. There was also a poison scene at one point I planned later on, but I don’t think I got to far into.

-

Content: Torture, beatings.

'm certain that this isn't the first one, but it's one of my earliest. It centered around this character who was locked in a cell and mistreated by all the guards (being tortured, beaten, maybe hit with a stick I don't remember). My teacher (who I'd known for a long time) always loved my writing and found it hilarious that elementary-school-year-old-me was writing something so dark. My parents, for their part, were a bit mortified when she showed them at the parent-teacher conference.

-

Content: Animal whump (warrior cats fanfiction).

It was Warrior Cats fanfiction 😭😭 And it was about my character getting into an argument with my friends character (a healer cat) for not saving my newborn kitten from a severe illness. My cat chased my friends cat through a forest in a rage, and they ended up fighting each other near the edge of a cliff. Long story short, they both ended up falling, and my friends character survived, though gravely injured, while my character died 😭 I was like 11 back then, good times

-

Content: Disordered eating.

It was actually the plot for a visual novel I'm currently working on! I don't want to spoil much because it's barely started, but it's basically professional fighters struggling with their mental health because of untreated childhood trauma. Since they're fighters, they get injured quite a lot hehe, so I have the "physical health + mental health whump combo". The first whump I published, though, was a Majora's Mask fanfiction where Link struggles with disordered eating.

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Content: Possessed whumpee, murder.

(death cw) I rarely manage to actually write anything but I have whump stories just in my head and have for ages - the first one I remember is when I was maybe 11-12 and imagined this girl group one of who got possessed by someone bad and tried to repeatedly harm her friends (and often succeeded). The friends eventually manage to help the girl break out of her possession but the girl unintentionally kills one of them (her love interest) before that.

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Content: Stabbing.

Hmmm I wanna say it was something for Fugou Keiji Millionaire Detective where the main characters got involved in a dangerous case and one ended up getting stabbed lmaoo. Never finished or posted it cause I had never posted anything at the time and was self-conscious. Though, I'm sure I wrote something in my childhood that was whumpy I'd just never known that was a term and was very anxious about it because I felt like it was weird to like.

-

Content: Tiny whumpee, human caretaker.

It was G/T and I made it for a creative writing class in freshman year. A fairy couldn’t go home because it was raining so he had to go to the nearest shelter, a human’s house. He was very scared because of the stories he heard about humans so he tried to stay out of sight. Unfortunately, the human’s cat attacked him and he had to get out of his hiding spot. The human was nice though and let him leave when the rain stopped.

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Content: Religion, morally dubious whumpee.

It was a never finished story about a captured soldier in a religious war. The whumper had a personal vendetta against whumpee for killing his wife. The war had been going on for years so there was alot of history and bad blood between these characters. Both were morally gray. It was a pretty good concept, but I got bored before I had enough written. Maybe I'll finish it someday, maybe I won't

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Content: Starvation, dehystration, obedient whumpee, sensory deprivation.

it was when i was very young, and way before i knew what whump was! i had an obsession with torture from the very beginning, but the first one i actually wrote was about someone being locked in a room for a full day without food, water, or outside stimulation. when she was finally allowed out, she was terrified of her whumper and ended up obeying all his orders to act as his servant and tool.

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Content: Torture.

Well as far as the first one I wrote/posted it was called End of Summer and it was about Jairus, a half dragon who was captured and tortured by a sorceress and her demon minions. I lost interest in writing it after a bit in favor of a new story, but Jairus’s story has existed as a whole for years before I even found whump and I know what all happens I am just too lazy to write it

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Content: Torture, furries, hero/villain.

Techically I created my first whump 'story' when I was very little and used to imagine these two furry OCs with one being strapped down to a table and the other torturing them. But since I was super young it was in very cartoonish ways. It was a whole hero vs villian thing too. Normal things for a kid in elementary school to imagine while they fall alseep im sure 👍

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Content: Hero whumpee, villain whumper, lab whump, rescue.

This was even b4 I learned what whump was- Basically just a hero/creepy villain trope- this superhero was being stalked by a villain they didn't know existed, eventually kidnapped the superhero, and found out they have superhuman abilities (villain thought it was gadgets) and it turns into a lab whump of some sort until the superhero was rescued by their team.

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Content: Captivity, torture.

A long time ago, my very first WIP that has since sent me on a derailed train of 150+ unfinished WIPs. There was a main-side-both-character with fire powers who was imprisoned by an enemy kingdom, chained in a cold dark cell, forced to remain extinguished, far from the warmth of torchlight, and was often tortured. He was also edgy and hated everyone, typical XD

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Content: Intimate whumper, captivity, recovery, rescue, stabbing.

It was a Whumper x Whumpee thing where the intimate Whumper was holding Whumpee hostage in their apartment. They also attacked Whumpee with a knife multiple times. Caretaker was a police officer and Whumpee's best friend so they arrested Whumper and helped Whumpee recover and then it became a Whumpee x Caretaker thing. It wasn't very good or realistic tbh

that was actually a common premise for my stories when i was a kid, too lol

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Content: Minor whump.

When I was 9, I was weirdly obsessed with writing a story about a little boy who went sledding and got bowled over by another sled and injured. I kept going to write it, and I never got very far, but it was in my head for ages. He would be so injured and all the other kids at school would hear about it, and he’d have to miss school and birthday parties.

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Content: Blackmail, [forced] self harm.

i've had this elaborate RP between two characters - one of which got blackmailed and was forced to hurt himself by the other. it was kind of like "remote whump", i guess? the neat part was that the whumpee had no clue that it was whumper doing all this to him and would still hang around with him. i liked the hurt-fake-comfort dynamic, it was cute.

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Content: Medical whump, torture, forced to watch, reluctant whumper (kind of?).

One half of my OTP is kidnapped and used for medical experiments (i.e. tortured) by the father figure/whumper of the other half of the OTP. The other half feels conflicted because it breaks their heart to see their beloved endure such torture, but at the same time they can't bring themselves to stand against their father figure's wishes.

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Thank you to everyone who submitted something! My apologies if I didn't include yours! I tried to go with the ones that had at least a few sentences related to the question.

@whump-space @whmp

[efingart]

May I ask how did you come up with your Bell oc? She's amazing and even though I have my own Bell can't stop obsessing over yours haha, made me wish there was more than one Bell :3 also I love your art, you're the best!

Hey anon, oh thank you so much. I'm so happy you like her. It's really so cool to hear that you care about her 💙

I don't think I ever sat down to think about her creation. It's like she came fully formed out of my head like Athena.

I don't know how long you've been in the fandom, but she's been with me for a few years now. So I've had the benefit of time to develop her as a character and work on her overall look. Hell I didn't have a faceclaim for her for a year. And I've written, oh, a lot of words about her and a few comics lol. Also tons and tons and tons of drawings. Here's one now:

Also, I'm amazed at how things fell into place with her. For example, in the original JWIN comic (which is now just Chapter 1 of the fic) I just on a whim decided she liked milkshakes. And then I decided to look it up. Apparently, milkshakes were super popular in Soviet Russia. I had NO IDEA. But of course, now I had to run with it. And now I actually see there are people posting recipes for Soviet milkshakes. I think I'm going to have to make one.

If I had actually set goals for her development they would have been to fit her into canon events, the time period, and make her likable and relatable to my audience. And to me. She's definitely the kind of character that I gravitate towards. And I needed for Frank and for her to like Frank. I wanted to give both of them a little something better than what canon gave them. And given that I played Black Ops 1 and 2 after Cold War it just seemed like a natural fit.

Anyway, I wish I was a little more organized so I could give you a better answer. I'm always happy to answer more questions or clarify things because I know this wasn't the most detailed answer. Or if you have any questions about Mila in particular always feel free to ask!

And thank you so much, I'm really happy you love my art. That means the world to me, truly. I know I say that a lot but I do mean it genuinely 💙

EDIT: Oh hell I got so wrapped up in thinking this through I completely forgot. There is more than one Bell. I don't know how you feel about multiverse theory anon but when CoD gave us the choice to name and choose our own Bell it opened up the door to new universes and new outcomes. There's more than one Bell. If you want your Bell to hang out with mine or someone else's that works too.

Tbh I have been thinking about another Bell in The Boys Universe and Mila is there too.

[betterdiscussions]

after all this year wasn't thaaat bad fr. Did a lot of new things i felt like a real teenager And also realized that my personality it's the problem I Am the Problem but anyways this year was a lot better than 2021/20 for this reasons

MILA 🐾

my little angel i LOVER HER it's the loml d vd la amo tanto es lo mjr q tengo en mi vida no puedo creer lo tanto q la amo

mis amigos👯

when i entered the school after covid i only knew ONE person in my classroom so i was so scared abt not having friends and that was the principal reason i didnt wanna go But for a mistake of mine i ended up going and i auto-forced myself to do friends or at least talking to someone and yeah the first day i made a new friend, then my friend finally decided to go to school so i wasn't alone at all anymore so i felt more comfortable AND I MADE A TOTAL OF 13 FRIENDS approx and yeah i'm so happy w that i'm actually very proud of myself abt that

i graduated 🎓

that day was amazing actually WAS LIKE A MOVIE cuz the photographer took a picture of my friends and i AND THE SCHOOL POSTED ON ALL THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA WAS AMAZING LOL

started college🏫

i was fucking scare cuz i didn't know que estudiar así q m metí a lo mismo q camila then the school hizo unos cursos y me tocó w some guys that i didn't like so i decided to be social AND ACTUALLY WAS ONE OF THE BEST DECISIONS IVE EVER MADE that group was the best istg all of them were super friendly and omg i love them fr i miss them sm. Then i was accepted and quedé w 2friends en el salon pero hice otro amigo nd mas so was pretty cool Terminé el primer semestre today cuz i'm not doing las nivelaciones d calculo q m faltan so yeah and also metí solicitud para cambiarme a administración 🤣

moreFriends 👯‍♀️

hice más amigos Gracias a los amigos q hice en el tec haha mmm TMB salí Sola x primera vez cn amigos Salí cmo 4-5veces la vd si m puso muy feliz fue algo nuevo para mi fue amazing hahaha

MentalHealth 🧠⚕️

that was pretty fucked up pero gracias a mis amigos mejoró un poco aunq si sé q en vacaciones voy a Morir voy a caer en lo + bajo así q Muchas gracias x ayudarme a no morir este año uds son los culpables d q siga cn vida Sí, si es 1razón para odiarse a uds mismos

[heartfe1t]

    ❝    well as much as i like having a flirt like this, i'm down with sappy. i can be really romantic too. i'd love to see your birthday post for you and your sister. i think my most recent is from the last time my sister came to the game and she took a bunch of pictures.    ❞     he beams at her, happy to be more open together.    ❝   right. well, i'm going to say that. we can talk about it all later, mine and yours. i'd be happy to hear about your life from you-    ❞     a raise of his eyebrows as she checks the time.    ❝    well shit- we really have been having a good conversation then. and yeah- that uh- we definitely need to hand you back over to those in charge here. just tell them we got caught up talking though. no reason for them not to believe us.    ❞     he shrugs his shoulders. it's true after all.

    ❝    fair enough. and i mean- i get paid to throw a ball... so... there's that too    ❞     he chuckles, shaking his head. both of their jobs are... a lot more than that- sure- but... it is funny when you think about it.    ❝    definitely. and hey- if this progresses i don't think she'd mind the chance to ask you all about yourself anyway, so- could work out. you'd get some good home cooked food and she'd get someone new to talk to. you could hear a whole lot about my childhood that's for sure.    ❞     he shakes his head. it's half amusing, half real... she could be his girlfriend, and his grandmother would love the chance to get to know his girlfriend if that were the case.

    ❝    that sounds perfect. we'll just- see where the evening takes us. and i'll be looking forward to your text then. i guess one of the benefits of a job like mine is that you can literally find out my schedule with a google search more or less.    ❞     he laughs.    ❝    well it's a cute user name, even if it's not the most professional, obviously. mine definitely got changed over in high school, y'know- college recruitment and just- becoming less cringey? i think when i made mine it was 'quinnforthewin' or something like that? and mila mi amor is definitely cute for me to start calling you.    ❞     eyes widen at her comment, it's one thing for her to be staring at him, another to say those words to his face.    ❝    bold move movie star- not complaining- but bold...    ❞     he shakes his head with a laugh.    ❝    that said- you get a pun on 'my love' and you're just objectifying me? i see how it is...    ❞     

❝    instagram    is    a    pretty    safe    bet,    if    not    a    bit    sappy.    i    think    the    last    time    i    posted    was    for    daisy    and    i's    birthday.    before    that    it    was    definitely    something    work    related.    i    think    that's    probably    the    best    place    to    start.    ❞    she    says,    agreeing    with    him    on    that.    she'd    done    a    pretty    good    job    of    cleansing    her    instagram    of    things    she    didn't    want    to    have    everyone    see,    and    now    her    tags    and    comments    were    limited,    too.    ❝    people    just    like    to    act    like    they    know    me.    it    was    a    crazy    few    years,    but    i'll    tell    you    about    it    sometime.    ❞    she's    not    necessarily    scared    of    him    knowing    the    truth,    but    the    things    that    had    been    written    about    her    just    weren't    that.    ❝    sounds    like    a    good    deal    to    me.    i'd    rather    get    to    know    you    from    talking,    you    know?    i've    really    enjoyed    talking    to    you    the    last...    ❞    she    glances    down    at    her    watch,    eyebrows    shooting    upward.    ❝    half    an    hour.    i    do    really    have    to    get    to    that    tour.    me    disappearing    for    this    long    isn't    going    to    be    a    good    look...    ❞    

❝    yeah,    i    forget    that's    a    real    job    sometimes,    too.    it    doesn't    seem    real.    but,    then,    playing    dead    for    a    living    doesn't    always    seem    like    a    real    job,    either.    ❞    she'd    been    killed    off    in    more    movies    than    she'd    like    to    admit    to,    but    she    always    liked    the    end    product.    ❝    guess    we'll    just    have    to    save    that    for    the    off    season,    then.    i'm    not    opposed    to    just    showing    up    and    hanging    out    with    grams,    though.    ❞    said    with    a    laugh    as    she    teases    him.    she    liked    when    she    was    able    to    do    things    that    weren't    so    hollywoodcentric.    ❝    yeah?    we    can    always    turn    drinks    into    dinner,    too.    see    where    the    night    takes    us.    i'll    text    you    about    a    time    and    date    a    little    later,    if    that's    cool?    ❞    she's    really    excited    to    get    to    go    out    with    him,    even    if    it    never    progresses    passed    them    being    friends,    he    seems    cool,    and    she's    happy    to    get    to    know    him    better.    ❝    that    was    actually    my    instagram    username    for    the    longest    time,    until    i    really    got    serious    about    acting    and    changed    it    to    be    more    professional.    it's    also    the    only    spanish    i    know,    so    no    worries    there.    ❞    she    pulls    her    phone    out    of    her    pocket    and    smiles    when    she    sees    the    photo    come    up    from    an    unknown    number.    ❝    obviously    your    contact    name    is    going    to    have    to    be    bubble    butt    baseball    boy.    ❞    she    teases,    winking    at    him    as    she    saves    the    number    to    her    contacts,    and    the    phone    to    her    gallery.

[freesomebodybyluna]

Look at him......

[birdmenanime]

Give me a minute, I don’t know what I’d say in it, I’d probably just stare

[asillydreamer-on-a-crazyworld]

for those who don’t know, KinnPorsche had their cast call on october 2020 and started production in 2021,until they were cancelled by Filmania. Mile had conections with the actual directors from KP and together with Apo, saved the show through them.  And now the episode is out and seriously I see people saying shit like :”if Kinnporsche was out on 2020-2021″. Like , no way, do some research before saying idiotic things like that, because I really don’t know what would be different anyway...KP still would have the same “expensive cars, houses” etc, coz this realy doesn’t mean anything at all for a BL’s quality. Second: to compare KP with other shows.. Like to acchive what? Cutie Pie, Bad buddy, Not me, Manner of death, they all have their own storyline, there is no comparision. They all have COMPLETELY different storylines for god’s sake and tell me WHEN, did we have a Mafia BL between 2020-2022?

Also, production wise, seriously, again, do YOUR RESEARCH. Some of those locations u saw on the episode costs money and yeah, we had expensive cars ( thanks MASERATI), we had other things we saw in other shows but frankly we also had different locations I’ve never seen in other bls as well, and franjkly I think this is such a silly point, I can’t even believe people are using these lame excuses to criticise Kinnporsche.

We had this great opening in the episode, great fighting scenes, the chemistry between the characters - all of them - was on point, we had emontional scenes between Porsche and Porchay, the tension between Kinn and Porsche and an episode that introduced them both in a perfect way to help people who didn’t read the novel to connect with them emontionally as well. And that ending? Really tell me that ending didn’t pick your curiosity to see the next episode?

 I’ll still write a way longer post about this episode, but as someone who had read the novel I’ll just say this: KP has one of the most interesting plots out there and everything is connected, there are no plot holes and I hope the adaptation to tv kept their story just as well written, plot wise, despite all the red flags that it has, the characters’ story is told in a way that by the end of it you’ll be left with your jaw on the floor.

So, please,  it’s the first episode. If you’re gonna criticize it, give me at least  something concrete to do it so.. A dialogue u think it felt off, or made u cringe, or a trasition between scenes that left u confused, but not empty criticism. 

Coz frankly, somethings I’m seeing here, as a fan, I rly can’t keep quite about it.

PS: about Kinn’s character. I told u, it’s is a mafia BL. He is a little shit, but he is a mafia boss. He won’t be gentle with a subordinate and not even with Porsche who will defy him and disrespect him again and again - some  times he will be right to do so, and some times, he’ll be over the line - and their relationship won’t be a cutie pie plot. ( no ofense to CP, which I love it).

anyway... Mila’s out.