#idk. im just not happy abt this outing at all
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Resurrected AU Ch. 1: Alliance
(read on AO3 here!) Warnings (for the fic in general, not necessarily this chapter): Graphic depictions of violence, strong language, general mature themes Chapter Summary: Scourge breaks into one of Eggman's bases in search of a secret weapon to defeat Sonic with, but what he ends up finding is much stranger and much scarier than he was expecting. ThoughâŠhe finds a way to get some use out of it. Notes: it really took me like a thousand years to get this started huh. lol. well i wanted to at least get the first chapter out before the sonic au collision event fully started, so im happy to present the first chapter of resurrected au's fic!! god i hope yall like it LOLLL, this au means a whole lot to me.. it's become my favorite baby i wont lie. i will also admit that im a Little nervous to finally start posting my actual writing for sonic stuff; i'm pretty self-conscious abt it actually lmao. but hopefully yall end up enjoying how i write these guys. please be niceys idk how long it'll take me to dish out the rest of the chapters, but hopefully i can find the time and energy to get them out steadily!! thanks in advance for reading and thank u so much for ur support and enthusiasm <3
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Itâs not every day that you get a juicy piece of info that could very well put the odds in your favor. Thatâs why Scourge was not gonna waste this opportunity.
Heâd gotten word thanks to his incredible sleuthing skills [read: eavesdropping on strangers] that Eggman had a new base in the area and had apparently acquired a very powerful âsecret weaponâ of some sort. That was all he needed to know before deciding it was time to raid a base. After all, if he found that secret weapon? Sonic was toast.
It took a minute to actually find the damn place, but soon enough, Scourge was skidding to a stop at the treeline before what looked to be a large, dome-shaped structure with the patented Eggman symbol on it (or something that looked like it; Scourge figured it was close enough). He smirked, flipping his shades down over his eyes and speeding off towards the entrance.
As expected, badniks littered the area around the main entrance to the base. They looked a little funny, Scourge noted; they seemed a little moreâŠhigh-tech than he was used to seeing. But, whateverâhe figured it wouldnât be an issue once they were busted to scraps.
⊠He did have a little trouble with these bots. Just a little. But it was no biggie, since he ended up finding a way inside before he could be overwhelmed. Allâs well that ends well, he supposed.
The inside of this place wasâŠconfusing. So many twists and turns, rooms that led into other rooms, platforms that moved in weird directionsâŠ
âDoesnât this place have a map?â Scourge grumbled to himself as he ran through the absolute maze of hallways.
After what seemed like forever, he finally came to what was clearly the main, central chamber of the base. There was a very complicated-looking keypad attached to it. Luckily, Scourge was very good at lockpicking.
Stepping back a bit, he hopped up and curled into a spindash before launching himself at the keypad. It took a bit of work, but before long, the whole thing was smashed to bits with sparks flying everywhere. Just as heâd hoped, the door opened once the keypad was destroyed. With a triumphant snicker, he unfurled and landed back on the floor before confidently waltzing into the chamber.
Inside looked pretty much as he expected it toâtubes and gadgets everywhere, lots of high-tech machinery that did Gaia-knows-what, lots of papers littered about several desks that clearly showed the work of an evil mastermindâŠ
Yeah. Deffo an Egg-base.
âNow, whereâs that weaponâŠâ Scourge questioned aloud as he strolled through the room. He pulled out some drawers and rummaged around here and there, but he didnât really find anything interesting so far. Surely this thing wasnât hidden that well, right?
Just as he was starting to get frustrated, he came across a huge capsule of some kind right in the middle of the room. Pretty obvious, actually. He wasnât that observant, but whatever. He raised his shades to where they were resting back in their place on his head before he rubbed his hands together with a huge, toothy grin. âThat looks promising.â
Making his way to the door of the capsule, he tried to peek inside through the little window on the front of it. He couldnât make anything out⊠He decided to just open it to get a look at what was inside, so he searched around for a switch of some kind that would do that for him. It didnât take long, thankfully, and he quickly pressed the button down that would activate the door.
Smoke spewed out from the door as it opened, making Scourge cough a bit. He waved his hand to clear some of it out of his way as he impatiently waited for it to dissipate enough for him to see what he was in for.
This had to be some sort of cool gun. He knew it was. Some kinda laser shooter or something. Or maybe a bazooka. Ohâa cannon, even! He dearly hoped it was a cannon, actually. The smoke was almost fully cleared, so he leaned in excitedly to see what was insideâŠ!
⊠It wasâŠa guy. There was a guy in there.
âWhat theâ?â Scourge furrowed his brow once he got a good look at the contents of the capsule. It was obviously a personâa jackal, it looked like? Definitely not a cannon. Who the hell was this? He looked rough, like heâd really been put through the wringer. His drip was cool, Scourge supposed, and the big, gnarly scar on the guyâs chest was pretty intimidatingâŠ
Mineâs still cooler, he thought to himself.
Suddenly, alarms sounded throughout the base. Scourge cursed under his breath as he looked over his shoulder. He turned back to the man in the capsule, making a quick decisionâheâd snag him and take him with him. He probably had some idea of where the weapon was, so once he woke up, heâd just beat the information out of him if he wouldnât give it up willingly.
Grabbing the jackal out of the capsule and slinging him over his shoulder, Scourge finally sped out back through the way he came. He was able to dodge any bots that tried to come after him thanks to his speed, and soon enough, he was outside and running through the trees of Mobius once again.
He ran until forest turned to jungle, and before long he was slowing to a stop once again in a small clearing where bits of light showed through the canopy up above. He rested the other manâs body down on a bed of moss near a small pond, figuring thatâd beâŠsomewhat comfortable, and he then took a seat on a fallen tree a few feet away.
It was only a matter of seconds before he began to tap his foot. What was he supposed to do now? Just sit there waiting for this guy to wake up? That could take hours⊠He didnât have that kind of patience.
Deciding to take the initiative, Scourge stood and started walking over to the jackal, intending to justâŠlightly kick him until he woke up, or something. However, he didnât get the chance.
A low, threatening growl could be heard rumbling from the strangerâs throat. Scourge stopped in his tracks once he heard it, then took a few paces back. How long had he beenâ?
One yellow eye opened to a squint, scanning the area before landing on Scourge. For some reason, the look the man was giving him made his skin crawl⊠Not that he was going to let him know that, though.
Instead, Scourge popped the collar of his jacket to regain his composure and puffed out his chest. âTook ya long enough,â he teased right off the bat. âI was startinâ to think you were dead.â
The jackalâs gaze lingered on him coldly for a few moments. However, he looked elsewhere when he began to speak. â... I should have been.â
ThatâŠwasnât the response Scourge was expecting. The way he sank a bit betrayed his confusion. â... Wait, what?â
The man sat up, sort of startling Scourge into taking another step back. As he did so, he fully opened both of his eyes so that he could properly take in his surroundings. He was clearly ignoring the hedgehog beside him as he turned his head away, which didnât really sit right with Scourge.
âHey!â he barked. âIâm talkinâ to you!â
Giving no indication that he was listening, the man proceeded to rise to his feet, standing at his full height. Scourge sort ofâŠshrank a little once he saw how actually tall this guy was. He knew jackals were generally bigger than hedgehogs, but this guyâŠ
No, no, it was fine. No need to be afraid. He was still in charge hereâthis guy just didnât know it!
With an annoyed sneer, Scourge dared to stomp a little closer. âListen here, pal. If it werenât for me, you woulda still been stuck in that base. I went outta my way to rescue you, got it? That means you owe me one. So, Iâm gonna tell you how this is gonna go down, and youâre gonnaâhrk!â
A clawed hand suddenly gripping his neck caused Scourgeâs words to get caught in his throat⊠At least, that was part of it.
The jackal had snapped his head around to glare murderously at him as he grabbed him, which gave Scourge a very clear view of his face. He could see his one piercing yellow eye staring back at himâŠand he quickly noticed that the other eye had some kind of rock lodged into its socket. It was an eerie sight, and it definitely sent an intense chill up Scourgeâs spine.
âYou,â spat the jackal, voice deep and commanding, âdo not control me.â
Unable to respond, Scourge just kind ofâŠdangled there, hands gripping the otherâs wrist as he kicked his legs a little. The expression he wore was enough of a response, though, so he was released after a moment of struggle. Once he was able to breathe and stand on his own again, he gasped for air and rubbed at his throat with an indignant look.
âWhat the hell?â he managed to say between coughs. âWho do you think you are, grabbinâ me like that?â
Turning away, the taller man didnât bother to look at him as he replied. âI am Infinite,â he answered simply.
There was a pause as Scourge seemed to wait for him to say something else. When he didnât, he furrowed his brow a little. â... Like, thatâs your name, orâŠ?â
The manâInfinite, apparentlyâseemed to hesitate, as if he was surprised that Scourge didnât recognize him. One of his ears flicked.
â... I suppose enough time has passed that my name is no longer common knowledge,â he mused, half to himself. âPity. I would have liked to think I made a bigger impact than that.â
Scourge watched as Infinite turned to fully face him again, making him subconsciously take a couple steps back. Man, this guy was kinda scary⊠Not that he couldnât take him! He was just giving him the creeps, was all⊠Cyan eyes flicked to Infiniteâs hands as he flexed his fingers.
âI will simply have to remind the world what true fear feels like,â he growled lowly, âand I suppose that starts with you.â
The rock embedded in Infiniteâs eye began to glow as he summoned its power, and, to Scourgeâs bewilderment, he began to lift off the ground and hover there. It was kind of scary, actually. The guy was floating. What the hell?
Then it hit him. The weapon Eggman had been hoarding wasnât a gun or a cannon or anything like that. It was Infinite. He obviously held some sort of power that Eggman wanted to weaponize, and that must have been why heâd been locked up in that base⊠Things started clicking.
Despite Scourge expecting him to do⊠anything, reallyâŠInfinite proceeded to seize up in pain and let out an agonized yell. He suddenly collapsed to the ground, falling to his knees as he held himself up with one hand and gripped his head with the other. âW⊠WhatâŠ?!âÂ
Infiniteâs hand moved from his head to his chest where the large scar marked him. When he felt nothing but the scar, he had a look of both anger and confusion on his face, which told Scourge that what just happened clearly wasnât the plan.
⊠Interesting.
Scourge stood a little straighter once he was confident that this guy wasnât about to explode or something, sticking his thumbs into his jacket pockets. âAaaalright, Criss Angel. If youâre done with all that , I think itâs time we get down to business.â
While Infinite knelt there still trying to figure out what was going on, Scourge began to pace around him in a circle, smirking as he did so. âLook. Like I said before, I rescued you from that base, so you kinda owe me one. Butâand hear me out on this oneâIâm willinâ to come to a compromise.â
Infinite snapped out of his pained daze long enough to shoot another glare at Scourge as he came around to his front again. âCompromise?â he hissed.
Scourge nodded. âYeah. So, listenâI didnât get to introduce myself earlier.â He held up a thumb and pointed it at his own chest, teeth bared in some kind of nasty grin. âNameâs Scourge. If ya havenât hearda me by now, then youâve been livinâ under a rock.â
Infinite somehow doubted that this brat had left enough of a mark on the world that anybody off the street would know his name. Still, he let him continue.
âI wanna take out Sonic. I assume you know him, right? Well, I think youâre just the guy who can help me out with that. Heâs gotten lucky so far, but I think with you backinâ me up, Iâll be able to finally give âem his just desserts.â
The name Sonic caused a spark of recognition to flash over Infiniteâs good eye. His breathing began to steady. â... Sonic,â he repeated. âYes, I am familiar with Sonic .â
The way Infinite said his name let Scourge know that there was some beef there, at least. This worked in his favor. âGood,â he said with a nod. âSo weâre on the same page, then.â
He turned on his heel before stopping his walk, facing Infinite to speak to him directly. âLike I said, I want you to help me take him down. Easy, right? In exchange, though⊠Iâll help you out with whatever you want, too. I dunno if you knew this, but Iâm basically just as strong and just as fast as that blue bastard. I could give anybody a run for their money if I felt like it.â
Narrowing his eye skeptically, Infinite mulled this over. He seemed to be recovering from the shock from before, and he stood back up onto his feet. It was evident from how long he took to respond that his mind wasâŠelsewhere.
â... I see.â His tail swished behind him as he thought about his next words. âYou are offering to aid me in whatever task I ask of you?â
âCross my heart.â
Infinite gave a huff before crossing his arms. â... Fine. If you intend to uphold your end of this bargain, then I will do the same.â
Scourge smiled widely, his sharklike teeth almost glistening in what little sunlight was managing to poke through the canopy above them. This idiot. He had no idea that he had every intention of double-crossing him the first chance he got.
He held out his hand for a shake to seal the deal. âGlad to have ya aboard, Infinite.â
Infinite glanced down at the otherâs hand before reaching forward and taking it, giving it a single shake. His grip was tight. âLet us make the most out of this partnership, shall we?â
⊠Infinite was not stupid. He instantly knew that Scourge was going to betray him. That overconfident fool was so transparent it almost made him sick.
ButâŠhe could also tell that he had some bite to his bark, even if it was just a little. He was seasoned enough as a soldier that he could see that. That meant he could get some use out of him before he pulled his own betrayal.
He no longer had the Phantom Ruby in his chest, and he was alive, and he had no idea why. If this green idiot could help him figure that outâŠthen heâd play along for as long as he had to.
Either way, he was going to get answers. And once that was done? He was going to rip out Sonicâs miserable little throat.
â
#resurrected au#sonic au#sonic au collision#sonic au collision 2024#sonic fanfic#fanfic#sth fanfic#this is so scaryyyyyyyyyyy but i said id do it so fuck it we ball
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caring more than the average person abt dogs' wellbeing and dogs being given the best chances to thrive in the situations they're put in is making me feel like i sound like this today. sorry i guess.
#disgruntled noises#it would not have been hard to go on a walk or play or go to the small dog park there before bringing her in the middle of a busy place#with people and dogs and food#while knowing abt her not so great leash manners and knowing how excited nd overwhelmed she gets in busy places#im so irritated about the whole thing actually i cant even condense it in one post#and then telling ME that if i didnt want her to greet this dog that was just as excited as her that i shouldve held her leash tighter#mind you i had just been handed her leash like not even 10 seconds before#holding her tightly is not the solution to shit like this im so. ARGH. I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE HAD IT BEEN UP TO ME#i wouldve hanged out in a calmer spot with her!! not in the middle of it all!!!!#not to mention having this guy talk to me in a language idk + trying to figure out what to even do w mila + her not listening bc overwhelme#made ME overwhelmed#idk. im just not happy abt this outing at all#but shes not my dog and it was ''fine'' anyway so its none of my business right. haha.#mine
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congrats on your recovery n all yuuji but unfortunately for you I thought the scars were cool >:/
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#these took so long i kept getting distracted cries#but they r done and this is yuuji's post canon scar map to me. argue with a wall we should have had this#looks at canon this sign won't stop me bc i cant read >:(#smh robbed!!!!!! the potential!!!!! the aesthetic!!!!! th angst the symbolism!!!!!!#gege i respect u i do not want beef after u let my boys live#but u rly couldnt have scuffed him up a LITTLE more.....there were so many to choose from didnt u have a favourite.....#all he has to show fr all that r two little scratches. rly.#((not counting the ear n fingers thank god i get That much))#anyway i made a whole post abt why i think yuuji should have kept the scars n what it would have stood for symbolically#its along th same lines as the yuuji Big Face Scar agenda hh i just care a lot abt character design n visual storytelling ok#anyway fine he can keep the eye but in this house it grew back wrong it's lighter and foggy and now his prescription is stronger#as fr the rest#megumi has dibs on the upper right eye apparently so yuuji can have the bottom half#i would have doubled down on the scars on his left but a. the right side is the symbolic one#b. he healed an entire eye so it makes sense tht he'd heal other more minor injuries as well#c. tbh it's mostly based on what looked good i think this arrangement guides the eye across his face nicely#gave him a lil nose nick bc smth smth sukuna idk it's just there to balance things out#also as i said. the jaw and neck scar are there for kissing purposes i make the rules im salty and i do what i want smile#in other news thank u past hina fr doing those hair render studies im very happy with my yuuji hair as of late
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literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped
A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence
an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felixâan angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliverâa prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.
thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag
A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn
a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in
alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship
The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]
how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired
may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn
alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay
Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry
a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion
a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such
least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn
if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me
edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if youâre interested in following these through to development!
#saltburn#saltburn posting#really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day#or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points#and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week#idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me#but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them#of course u are welcome to send them my way#i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver)#or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing#anyway#oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long#and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here#bambi#also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm#i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college#saltburn 101
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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Today's Daily Degurechaff is⊠sometimes I wish isekai quartet put them in cute uniforms
#im not fully happy with it but idk its just meant to get the idea out there#somehow grantz ended up with a massive thigh gap its drawn poorly idk#dailydegurechaff#youjo senki#isekai quartet#visha#grantz#tanya von degurechaff#one thing i like abt uniforms is consideration for the way each character would wear it differently. it adds personality#like its the same set of clothes and colors but each of them would be slightly different yknow#like. tanya would probably prefer to wear a tie over a bow#shed also wear her uniform neatly with her shirt tucked in and all the buttons done up#where as some of the 203rd boys probably wouldnt#maybe theyd even forget the tie sometimes who knows#visha would look cute in a cozy sweater instead of the blazer
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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Late to the game as Iâve kinda been kinda non-here for a minute but I scrolled through the Dot and Bubble tag, and thought I wanted to write this post into existence.
There's this part in Doctor Who Unleashed where RTD says this:
âWhat we canât tell is how many people will have worked that out before the ending. Because theyâve seen white person after white person after white person, and television these days is very diverse. I wonder, will you be ten minutes into it, will you be fifteen, will you be twenty, before you start to think, everyone in this community is white. And if you donât think that â why didnât you? So, thatâs gonna be interesting. I hope itâs one of those pieces of television you see, and always remember.â
And I'm like. Yeah. But the reason this works even as well as it does is largely thanks to the work of the previous showrunner with the previous creative team, which was notably the first era to have any writers of color (amongst other firsts in terms of inclusivity in directors, composer, actors). While Chibnall fumbled whenever he tried to write about race himself, he did have the self-awareness to have Black and South Asian writers writing the episodes where race is the focus (and a female writer for the episode where sexism is a focus; my point is, he seemed to know his shortcomings).
I wonder what the current creative team looks like? (not really, but I wasn't 100% sure for all of them)
To quote RTD:
â...before you start to think, everyone in this community is white.â
This is pretty non-self-aware, right? It's pretty âIt is said, and I understand this, there was a history of racism with the original Toymaker, the Celestial Toymaker, who had âcelestial,â and I did not know this, but âcelestialâ can mean of Chinese origin, but in a derogatory way,â right? (from The Giggle Unleashed) It's pretty âand I had problems with that, and a lot of us on the production team had problems with that: associating disability with evil,â right? (from Destination Skaro Unleashed)
ânone of which are issues that should be overlooked, but think how much exponentially better they mightâve been addressed if heâd consulted with Chinese writers and wheelchair-using writers before going straight to giving the Toymaker weird fake accents and making Davros walk?
How many Black or non-white people do we think saw the Dot and Bubble script before it landed in Ncutiâs hands?
And this just keeps happening.
And like, from some of the shocked responses I've seen from white viewers to the ending of Dot and Bubble, maybe the episode's unsubtlety was needed? From the way RTD talks about it in Unleashed, the episode was written with a white audience in mind, Baby's First Microaggressions (where of course the microaggressions come from people who are pretty self-admittedly white supremacists). Ricky September, a more seemingly normal depiction of someone in the racist bubble of Finetime, seemed like an interesting element, up until the way he died.
The ending worked for me, because I do think the Doctor's reaction is true to how the Doctor would react. I just keep thinking of how much better the core themes could've been handled by someone with actual lived experience on the subject matter.
#dot and bubble#fifteenth doctor#rtd critical#anti rtd#ricky september#lindy pepper bean#dw negativity#racism#antiblackness#words by seaweed#not to be anti rtd. im just very critical. Anti RTD is just a tag which people use or block#every showrunner has their flaws but RTD is the only one self-righteously virtu signling over NOTHING. which is why im more critical.#plus the on-set sxual hrassment and what happened with Chris Eccleston etc. it vindicates me. idk. not tryna be a hater#ALSO dot and bubble is leaps and bounds better than any racism commentary I expected from Russell T Davies. so theres that.#can you tell I'm shy abt making long posts that someone is likely gonna be not happy about-#I usually search tumblr for posts to rb and talk in tags. but I couldnt find any posts about this this morning! tho I think ppl have since#etc its fine to critically appreciate imperfect media etc I do it all the time (as a Black fan) (who also thinks Rosa has Flaws) etc#I did see someone on twitter pointing out the hypocrisy of all white writers but twitter does not have space to talk about things#also love that The Church on Ruby Road has Mark Tonderai who became the first black director w The Ghost Monument. I love his directing#but that's the Christmas special. it is not part of this season. and honestly fr it's not close to enough#love the inclusivity in front of the camera. lets get some of that in the writing team NOW. it's hurting for it.#bring back Charlene James. can you hear me? was the best episode of Season 12.#the ep felt like a commentary on the âRIP Doctor Whoâ ppl under every official Doctor Who post? hence social media?#it does work best that way!! it just felt a little off of that way in rtd talking#idk im rambling. I did enjoy it tho. I just wish. but well.
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I need people to realize how horrible 'stalking/constant surveillance/breaking into each other's homes is how the Batfamily show love' is. Like i really need someone to just acknowledge how horrific saying this bullshit is.
Like even fics where they're shown as happy and healthy and with good ties, you've always got this thing where none of them have privacy or any boundaries with each other. Which is directly antithetical to actually having good relationships. And this invasion via hacking and stalking and breaking into homes is portrayed as a positive, good thing; it's just how they show love and care to each other, after all. But for some reason I just personally don't find stalking, lack of privacy or boundaries, and emotional manipulation funny, endearing, or healthy, and just end up disgusted at the attempt to sweep it all under the rug.
#my dc posting#dc#batman#batfamily#jason todd#barbara gordon#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#listen i can only take so much of it before i just breakdown okay#apparently controversial opinion but a family where its normal to vreak into each others homes and manipulate each other and stalk and#invade boundaries and autonomy and privacy can NOT be healthy#no matter how much you try to dress it up all cute w 'this is just how they are' 'its how they show their love' its never not gonna be#unhealthy and bad and toxic#like yeah they do do that. they are like that. either acknowledge it or stop trying to justify it#god this actually irks me so much#i try to idk. suspend my disblief but theres only so much i can actuallt fucking take before just#its just. im trying to read happy fluffy fics. but i cant be comforted by a family that normalizes breaking boundaries n invading privacy#and its specifically that the author aleays disregards it. instead of fixing it or making it better they opt to keep it and come up w excuse#s for it#and thats what actually triggers me#'i broke into ur house cus if i asked if i could come over ud say no' is actuallt fucking horrifying stop trying to make it seem loving???#im writing this while having a panic attack dont mind me đ#but its like. if you can write the batfam w/o bruce hitting his kids or any other horrific thing that they do#then why must you keep the boundary&privacy breaking? why cant anyone even seemingly try to write a batfam#where theyve worked their issues abt this out best they can n have healthy established boundaries w each other??#like if u can write them all hanging out together 24/7 n bruce being s good dad why is this one simple thing the One Thing#nobody even tries to address properly???#'aw dick broke into jason's saehouse bc he wanted to hangout but jason would say no if he asked' aw. maybe dick should learn 'no means no'
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as the tumblr's resident snuffy expert I have to ask you what you think snuffy and lorenzo's actual legal relationship is (like did he take on the role of his guardian or is he technically more of a sponsor) and furthermore what you think their dynamic is like behind the scenes. like even if you accept the idea that snuffy is more of a father figure to lorenzo than an employer there's no way that this guy who was a homeless orphan until he was a teenager and the man who took him in *on the basis that he be athletically successful* have like. a normal unremarkable parent-child dynamic
Thanks for the question, sorry about the yapping
I'm torn on how to answer the legal relationship question. To me, it depends on how old you think Lorenzo is during the flashback. I always thought he was around 15-16, so I rarely consider an option where Snuffy isn't his legal guardian. However I could see some PIFA fuckery involved to avoid any legal trouble in the case he didn't have a legal guardian involved before becoming an adult legally.
Even then the process for getting gold teeth takes more than one day (all the visits you need to get your teeth properly checked for the procedure, the healing process takes months and more visits, etc) and he was near death so I'd like to think he was taken care/supervised of by Snuffy during that time (which is why Lorenzo's so attached to him). (the amount of care is up to interpretation bc it's hc territory anyway)
After that, when Lorenzo started playing football, *then* it's more of a sponsor/employer/advisor?/mentor? situation that occasionally bleeds into guardian-adopteé territory but never completely. I think they had something similar to how Ray Dark ended up dropping Kaiser at the BM dorms, except I think Snuffy directly had a hand in training/teaching Lorenzo before and still kept somewhat in contact during. I also like to think he got him a tutor or something, but this is more so I can sleep well at night. Snuffy IS the "what will you do when football's no longer an option" guy anyway so it's not unrealistic.
I need to add somewhere in this post that I believe/know in my heart that Snuffy picking up Lorenzo happened a bit after Mick died (months, maybe a year max) and specifically because of it. Comparing dead Mick & almost dying Lorenzo was super common when ch. 229 came out so I won't elaborate much on it, I just wanted to mention it.
Dynamics wise... There's too much going on for them to be in a normal boss and employee situation, Snuffy isn't fazed by Lorenzo's antics at all, Lorenzo goes up to Barou* to convince him to succeed Snuffy while also bringing up Snuffy's promise to Mick and also just everything about Lorenzo's reaction to Snuffy going back on his retirement, he literally told Barou he loved him & offered him a gold tooth. I don't think he says that to anyone yknow
*and by the way this interaction always stands out to me, since the timeline of events is not clear at all. all bc the fucking blue lock building is built like a prison and idk what time it is. I think Snuffy&BarouÂŽs conversation happened at least some hours or a day after the Ubers introduction bit. During Lorenzo's backstory dump they're wearing pajamas but then Snuffy tells them it's time to train, so I assume it's the morning after that. Anyway I wonder if Snuffy just told him about it or if he directly asked him to talk to Barou. I feel like it's the former (given their reactions to Barou accepting Snuffy's deal) but the setup kinda makes it feel like the latter. whatever it was I think it's evidence for me to say that Snuffy trusts Lorenzo.
And I feel like there's nothing direct I can point to to say they're close enough to have a regular parent and child relationship. Still I feel like just by having Lorenzo be a NG11 and the fact that he enjoys football and doesn't scream cry and throw up when he loses or when he is inconvenienced (THE BAR IS ON HELL) makes me think Snuffy is mostly a positive influence on him. I like to think Snuffy does care a lot about him but he's the type of guy that shows it by meddling (kinda like Reo or younger Sae (who wasn't much of a meddler iirc. this makes sense in my mind)) and just isn't that visibly affectionate with anyone anymore.
More about the father and son thing. This is also headcanon territory I'm sorry. I don't think they, like, go out fishing as a bonding thing or anything like that. but I do think they don't go a week w/out talking bc I think Snuffy's a bit neurotic about how the people he cares about are doing because of reasons and Lorenzo loves talking people's ears off about everything and nothing. I think Lorenzo tried giving him an expensive gift with one of his first paychecks and mentioned "paying back his debt bit by bit" as a joke that wasn't really a joke and Snuffy's face twisted & he said something along the lines of Lorenzo not owing him anything and it was awkward between them for a while after that. I think its fucking WEIRD but they care abt each other and that's what matters
TL;DR: I think there had to be a point where Snuffy was his legal guardian or at least acted like it to some degree. In regards to their dynamic behind the scenes, that is not a father that is a grieving tutor-guardian-mentor-advisor-employer-professional football player and his renowned domesticated possum employee/adopteé who is soooooooo normal about worth.
#You said once that Barou is like Snuffy's cat who fucks up his furniture#& on that note Lorenzo's the weird mutt he rescued when he was a little too old to be taken adoption centre & now he's#really good at flyball (but it's kind of concerning given that he was picked up on the idea that he'd do flyball but I guess he likes#flyball now but also im kind of concerned about his thought process regarding worth and flyball scores and how it affects his interactions#with other dogs but he seems fine he's just kind of weird but its okay)#i dont want to overuse dog parallels but he literally barked. he also meowed but that was in one translation so idk#anddd i think echariie said something once abt lorenzo trying to pay back snuffy for all he did for him but i think he's no longer trying t#do so. but i do fully believe he used to and had his. in blue lock terms. awakening when he realized this is a sports for freaks#and brother. he is world class in freakery.#i just fucking say shit. one of u should take me out (kill)#lorenzos value thing is what makes me squint at snuffy a little honestly but its like. yeah sure#whatever i burnt all my braincells off typing this i literally havent eaten or blinked writing this.#commitment and a bit of mental illness methinks#txt#oh my fucking god this is so longgggggg#also . i thought abt this just now im an idiot but lorenzos def so happy bc now he's moving on to u25 probably and might get called for#the next world cup so was he excited abt playing on the same team as snuffy? fuck off#fuck offfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff#they make me ILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL#i dont want to look at this post anymore get out of my drafts
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#text#polls#im rly curious abt this#i havent painted in foreverrr :{ i took an oil painting class that i loved but working with paint that never dries was difficult#but also helpful to be able to wipe it off even like a week after i fucked up lol#i liked it tho !! i wish id gotten to spend more time on my final bc it was so fun but i wasnt quite done#literally went in with a paint pen like last month to touch up some stuff#might go try and finish it fully but idkkkk. i dont have oil paints so id have to do it in acrylic and idk how easy itd be#ANYWAy#ive never worked with ink before and i only have worked with oil paint in that class#but the other three ive used a lot and when it comes to on Paper and not canvas#acrylic dries fast which is difficult for me#and watercolor dries slow bc. thats water. and it doesnt always go where i want it to#so usually i prefer gouache bc its a little thicker but not too thick and it dries quick but not too quick. a happy medium#just like goldilocks#on canvas tho i usually prefer acrylic#i think bc i get scared to use up my gouache paints on a bigger canvas#^saying all this and i havent painted in months. </3#im not even particularly good at it i just like it. makes me happy#waugh. its nice out today maybe i'll go out and paint :} it miught rain tho#so who knows
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I wanted to draw misakis funny shirt so so so badly but i couldnt draw her hat for the life of me :,,,,(
#watching mygo rn grgrggrrgrggrhr its so good#i love them allâŠâŠ ive forgotten their names rn so i cant tallk abt them but i love them#art tag#bandori#whats the bandori tag. got damn#bang dream#hello happy world#girls band party#misaki okusawa#kokoro tsurumaki#dunno if i should use their ship tag its not like. ship art? theyre kinda just hanging out#man i wish bandoris beatmaps itched my brain as nicely as other rhythm games do#somethin about itâŠ. maybe its just meaner to me but it doesnt feel as like satisfying to play? which sucks#and you can only use i think up to 3 energy things!!!!! getting the event stories are killing me let me use more!!!!!!!!#cutomised the hell out of the lane and beat thingies which helped a bit. maybe theyre too tiny thats what i dont like idk#remember seeinf bandori YEARS ago like ? what is this? anyway#and now look at me. im in the trenches rn. having the time of m ylife#i love sll the bandori characters o smuch ALL of them. ok im done. good bye
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another one +uncolored ver (can u tell i skipped school today
#i feel like it kind of looks better uncolored idk i think it's the eyes#laurmau#aphmau#mcd#minecraft diaries#i b on that danny gonzalez grind im CONSTANTLY rewatching his stuff im so serioud#i had this phase back in like december january i forgot where i literally binge watched like at least 12 of his vids a day Idk what i was d#ing like girl STUDY FOR YOUR SATS#hashtag Laurmau forever Idgaf (i've been avoiding continuing my mcd rewatchbc the next episode has aaron in the thumbnail(im really scaredđ#I WILL FINISH YOU#Garroth soon contrary to popular belief i am a big Garroth fan too hes just kind of been irrelevant in mcd lately like come back......#I LIKE HIM KN THE SIDE STORIES THOUGH idk how i feel about my street but i Just started so we will see#o dont likr what jess is doing to him and laurance why are they crazy creepsâčïžmy daughters....#ummm what else omg i want to animate the nicole audio video thing that post is SO FUNNY literally live changing imma do that tmrw maybe umm#big emphasis on the Maybeđ
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i am a junior in high school#Hopefully ugghhhhh GET ME OUT!!!!#laurance zvahl#aphmau mcd#laurance mcd#awesome#also omg#thank u all for being nice tome on that laurance design it made me so happy like samn people rlly still care abt mcdđđ(Positive
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hard work being a single Motha
#nina speaks#keep my boys on me at all times#like a GLOCK#sorry guys hard work raising two beautiful boys#and this hideous tumor in my head#slay!#god i love when the pinterest is updated tho#i lied no the fuck itâs not nina lmao#but that shit takes me hours so im taking a break#when im depressed i just sit in the jk and rs boards#and sigh deeply and twirl my hair#kings truly also mechanic stan wheeeew#love u rural colorado normie lumberjacked probably autistic KING#whoever asked me abt ikes friend group#hold on boss i gotta get my NOTES out#yes i am insane#also i do look kind of insane#but tfw so much happened to ur body#and face that u canâŠno longer look at urself in the mirror#i had a stannic attack and had to do my makeup out of the corner of my eye#but u know self care jump scare same difference yeah#i hate being ILL i want to answer october spooky time asks#hereâs to hoping#hereâs to coping#also the college moodboards donât talk to me like THEYRE HAPPY???#JK WEARING COLORS?? FOR THE CHILDREN??? ;-;;#RAVENSTANS LIL READING GLASSES#tfw u clown ur sbf everyday and call him cuatros ojos and he realizes uve never been to an optometrist#and u keep squinting at things when u read them but not in a dyslexic way#in a those letters are blurry and idk what they are but thatâs normal right everyoneâs letters look like that HUH??? HUUUH NO BABY
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#feeling so silly lawwlll walking in circles#i thnk im feeling a special type of way ..#i know i keep going on ab the samw bs and how crazy gf YEAAH UEAH WE GET IT#but i thnk in doing so im like revisiting parts of myself and writing more and i think im jst being sentimental#sooo sentimental .. so saccharine ..#everyone has been rly nice ab my art LIKE SOOOOO NICE RECENTLY#and imean people always have like im very lucky and grateful 2 be able to feel like i can share my hobby .. ^__^#but i thjnk like . to take smth that is so representational of my like . art goals and wants from a young age#ouuyyyyuuuuuyyfff T__T ooiujjjjjj#I DONT KNWWW i dont know . i dont know what im saying but i feel like i just need 2 talk abd be like hey this is so reaffirming .needs 2#i think like . bc my life turned out soo different than i imagined ive been dealing w like . a lot of hopelessness and feeling soo stuck and#stagnant and idk bad things and in a way i think like . coming back 2 something years later and being able to see progress in such a physica#physical way and to feel like more at ease and more like myself than i ever have is rly crazy and making me think long and hard abt stuff#and its all of these like . reflections im dealing w that r then padded by like some of the nicest comments and tags itslike#head in my hands /pos . grief but like ij a way happy grief#INFEEL SOOO RIDICULOUS its ridiculous it rly is IHAHAHAHAHAHA#i think its bc im turning 25 soon and thats the age i told myself id never live past iykwim which ks like crazy to drop on tmblrdotcom#but there r so many emotions tied 2 that and i think this is just one of the things^ stupid fanart ^ that makes me rly happy idk#do you know what i mean . like i feel so goofy saying it but its genuinely the connection i rly appreciate and means a lot 2 me#i feel like my âthank yous/i appreciate it/ means a lotâ grow tired but its soo fr every time i swear#kicking rocks or watever . i wish i cld extend my gratitude but anyways . thanks 4 reading this far if u have#ughg man and i think of the friends ive made thru this blog specifically nd my eyes r burning#sorp.. guys i love u all thank u.
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Day 6: Public/Private
My Perception Of You (10.3k words)
On the end of their third year in Yoba Academy, Esora starts to distance herself. Her free time is more spent on dates with heirs rather than her friends. Kyoko, Shinobu and Yuka understood her reasoning, however. It hurts Yuka, but she has to endure. If all goes well, she can finally confess. Until a magazine is released to the public.
#crow's scribbles#crow's writing#yukaeso#yukaeso week 2024#yuka jennifer sasago#esora shimizu#d4dj#d4dj groovy mix#HERE IT IS. MY PRIDE AND JOY!!!!!#also the reason im posting this kinda late is bc of me talking w my parents... idk how to explain it. lol.#i managed to tell some of my worries. which is good. (not everything lmaooo)#anyway enough abt my life. this is filled w a lot of the pent up angst i was saving throughout the whole week and threw it all here.#it was really ambitious to the point this 10.3k worded fic is just a really cut down version of what i wanted it to be lol#will note: please listen to ni yao de ai (piano version) when you reach yuka running out a building scene :3c#if you know what i based the concept of this drawing i will honestly be really happy. heehe#anyway i'll stop talking now bye bye!!
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