#anyway it also has beauty aspects I love the way it's about to look and I can decorated the insides without worrying how it'll look on the

[nichuuu]

From Eden

Jeon Heejin x M reader

(1st instalment of De Selby)

PSA: This shit has not seen the editing board because I'm lazy. Fell off real hard. Sorry gang.

Word count: 10k

You liked to think that your first meeting with her after all those years was a fluke. 

As it went for most people who went their separate ways at a point in their lives: there was history between you and Jeon Heejin. It was a little more choppy than you’d like to admit, but it formed the crux of your relationship and you couldn’t just ignore it. She seemed to find no qualms in forgetting what happened between the two of you. And as you caught up with her at a booth seat in some club you guys bumped into each other at, you wondered if you’d overreacted when the two of you had your falling out.

She was possibly kinda bad company for the night – not exactly a face you wanted to see three beers in and ditched by the rest of your friends cause they all got too drunk and found themselves booted from this hellhole. But at the end of the day, they all say that it’s better to be in poor company than to be alone. 

***

To whatever gods that were out there, you thanked all of them collectively for the fact that the toilet that she’d dragged you into was empty. You hoped that the cubicle door was enough to keep whatever was happening in the bathroom privy to its occupants. The music that pulsed on outside the bathroom should be enough to cover you right? 

Heejin—as usual—had no qualms about skipping past the usual formalities of intimacy. Those deft hands were on your belt faster than you could utter her name, and your cock was in her hand before you even knew it. She was gentle with you, stroking you considerately as she laid a hand on your chest. Those fingers made you tingle from the tip down, pushing you to new levels of pleasure you’d no idea you could experience. They gripped you lightly yet firmly, applying pressure at all the right spots to make your toes curl in your shoes and your muscles tense throughout your body. You could only wonder: did she know what she was doing to you? Or was she just getting really lucky. However sordid this situation was, it felt right to you… and maybe to her as well.

“Jesus Heejin”--your hissing through your teeth. It sounds a little more aggressive than you’d like, but you know she’d have no qualms about it anyway–“you sure know your way around a dick.”

The smirk on her face was snitching on the fact that she definitely knew what she was doing. She leaned in, flushing herself against your chest while she continued to deliver languid strokes to the rock hard meat in her hand. “Thanks… He loves a nice handjob from time to time, though I always imagine myself giving it to you instead of him to get into it..”

You summoned the strength to look into her eyes – really gaze deep into those lustful, beautiful orbs she’d been blessed with. Past the want and need, there was an undeniable look of sincerity she held, a wordless soulful confession to you that she had always fantasised you in place of her ‘lover’. It drove you to push a little further, “and what are you thinking about now that I’m actually the one you’re giving it to?”

Heejin thought about it for a moment, almost as if she had a million and one answers that could express her carnal desires. Honestly, you wouldn’t put it past her to actually harbour a million and one answers. She was always a wild thinker in many aspects. She was also diligent, and that translated into the way her hand hadn’t stopped moving throughout the eternity (it was shorter than that, but it sure felt like it) she took to produce a congenial answer. 

“Now that you’re actually here,” she finally answered, making sure to hit you with a smile that blurred the distinct line between sweet and sultry, “I’m thinking about how good you’re gonna fill me with this pretty, thick cock.”

“Pretty?” you couldn’t help but chuckle. You’d heard and read of many ways that people described dicks, but never in your life would you ever expect the word ‘pretty’ to be amongst that mix. Heejin giggled – one of mischief and ‘know-it-all’ energy. It’s pretty – her grip around you tightened, squeezing you with pleasurable force as her movements quickened almost in sync with your breathing – because I like the way it feels in my hand… and I know that this cock is gonna be better than anything that he’ll ever give me. 

She stopped, putting a jarring halt to the pleasure that surged through your system. Her hand on your chest snaked up to your cheek – a sweet action that almost took the pure filth out of the words that followed. “I want you to fuck me–no, own me.”

It felt almost like a command in the way that you immediately wanted to fulfill her request. Her thumb traces circles on your face; her speech only gets filthier, “fuck me like I’m yours. Make me cum so hard that I forget all about him.”

You found yourself back in control of the part of your brain that controls the facilities of your speech and movement. You gingery held the wrist that was delivering those soft strokes of heaven just moments ago and pulled her hand off your throbbing shaft. As much as you’d love to have her jerk you off, there were more pressing matters at hand – namely the situation of her clothing and the fact that it was still on her. You wrapped an arm around her, pulled her close.

“Heejin darling,” you whispered, relishing the way she shivered as your warm breath made contact with her ear. “I can’t do much if you still have all of these damned clothes on.”

She quickly recognised the game that you were playing and was eager to match you step-for-step. She held your gaze as she hooked a finger into the top of the tube top that adorned that wonderful figure and—rather enthusiastically—pulled it down. The nipple covers were quickly discarded and her small, perky breasts caught your gaze. Judging from her smile, she loved that you were staring. 

“You’re nice”, she told you, moving some hair out her face like you were looking there of all places. “He’s always commanding me: take off your clothes, do this, do that… I could get very used to you.”

You couldn’t help but smile a little. Her constant comparison of you and the man she was supposed to be loving was making you feel a little better about yourself (even though you knew that was far from the intended effect). You’d like to return the favour; you began running kisses down her body – starting from her lips before making your way down to her collarbone. Her shuddering sighs told you that you were doing something right, and you endeavored to keep up your performance for the rest of… Well… Whatever this session was.

“God… you’re fucking perfect, you know?” you informed her, wondering if she ever knew how much you adored that body of hers. Yes, you were more wholesome at a younger age – looking at her soft features and dorky personality to decide that you liked her. However, innocence never stopped you from stealing a glance or two at her ass when she wore tight jeans or a quick look at her slim figure whenever she wore anything that hugged her body like a glove. You’d never know if she ever caught you looking, but now you’re glad she knows that you are giving her your fullest attention (it was hard not to really).

You weren’t sure if her cheeks were flushing because of your comment or if she was just getting turned on. Either way, she still had remarks to deliver, “perfect is a little strong, but I’ll take the comment because I’m just so humble.”

Mischief was and would always be her idiosyncrasy.

A creak made both of you freeze. Female voices filled the bathroom, accompanied by the sound of heels clacking against the floor as your little getaway location was patronised by unwelcome guests. 

“Ugh… This damned contact lens is not coming out,” an identified voice carped. It sounded like the woman who said it was just in front of the stall that you were in. Judging from the slight look of annoyance that crossed Heejin’s face, you deduced that those were fellow bridesmaids who were in there together with you. With the same expression lingering on her soft features, she reached down and unclasped her jeans. She unzipped them slightly before pulling them down – past the delightful curve of her waist and till they were halfway down her supple thighs.

“Do you need help?” another voice rings out. Heels striked against the floor as another female occupant moved to join the scene; Heejin moved to grab you by the cock and pull you closer (as if the two of you weren’t already skin to skin in that stall).

“Fuck me now,” she hissed, an almost angry look filling her eyes. It was like she was being fuelled by the annoyance that stemmed from the presence of her fellow bridesmaids – using it as an excuse to quickly get filled with cock and have it pumping in and out of her within the next few seconds or so. She was lucky that you were taught to never keep a girl waiting.

Your movements are quick and firm; grabbing her by the waist and turning her around. Her gasp was telling of her surprise towards your sudden movements, but the grin that followed when she turned halfway around to you to watch as you pulled down her underwear told you that she liked how things were moving. Never in your life would you have imagined this: you and Jeon Heejin – each of you half naked in your own respects in a bathroom stall while people chatted freely beyond the wall of the stall. If the teenage version of yourself ever found out about this, you didn’t know how he’d respond.

Your right hand snaked down towards her crotch, and you are pleasantly surprised to find the slick wetness that could very well be running down the inside of her thigh. You could always check, but you liked to imagine. You took your shaft in your right hand. She bent slightly at the waist, her hands pressed against the white wall of the stall. The rest of her tight frame joined her hands soon after you parted the wet lips of her cunt and hilted yourself inside of her. 

Her insides felt like a warm embrace – better than you could’ve ever imagined it to be. It felt like a perfect fit; the throbbing meat within her walls filled her perfectly and felt every small movement the flesh could ever register. To call it heavenly would be downplaying the sheer pleasure she was bringing just by letting you be inside of her. Jeon Heejin felt like something unreal, unfathomable. You doubted that your hastily crafted description of her sweet wet cunt could allow one to process this taste of heaven.

Heejin let out a sharp gasp – loud enough for only the two of you to hear and loud enough for you to know that she too was unprepared for this new experience. From the way the muscles on her back tensed as her walls tightened around you, it felt as if her body was welcoming you. It was almost like she was subconsciously pulling you closer, deeper. You could get very used to this.

You revel in it a little, take in the feelings, the new sensation; the sound of the intentional soft breaths that the two of you were taking. This was certainly a novelty for you, and if you were being very honest with yourself: the events that led up to this moment felt a little too much like a fever dream. You half expected yourself to wake up in the next few seconds, or maybe—

“What are you waiting for?”–of course. It had to be her to really cement the fact that this whole thing was actually real. Sure, it’s inconceivable; but no imaginative power of yours could ever replicate the sarcasm (splashed with hunger) behind her voice, nor could you visualise the smouldering look in her eyes as she bit her lip–“your dick is in me. Do something with it.”

It felt like a challenge. She knew damn well that you always took up her challenges.

Withdrawing yourself from the warmth of her slick, you took a moment to cast your gaze downward. You appreciate the sight of your shaft glistening in her juices for a moment—and only a moment. There were pressing matters at hand—before thrusting back into her and reacquainting yourself with the warmth of her walls. You’d have loved to get into this slowly; unfortunately, Heejin chose the worst possible place to get it on. You’d have to live with her choices (and this isn’t exactly new for you).

And as a third voice joins the fray outside your stall—I think I have some eye drops here. Maybe that could help?—you began pumping yourself in and out of her, slow and controlled with full strokes that filled her to the brim. The voices continued to fill the bathroom as the three anonymous patrons struggled with one of their lenses; you struggled to keep yourself together inside of Heejin’s hot wet cunt. 

“F-Fuck yes,” she hissed. Don’t worry, it was soft. Or you could just be too absorbed by the delightful sound of wet squelching as your shaft appears and disappears between her legs to notice that she may be a tad loud. Even if it was, the trouble outside was enough to keep the other three  “I can’t believe I’m finally getting this dick. God… You’re so… Oh my god.”

It humoured you to see her in this state, though laughing at her would be the pot calling the kettle black; you yourself were trying to hold on to something tangible—that wasn’t her waist cause hot damn was your grip on it doing a number on you. Counterintuitive, but hot nonetheless—to keep you grounded in your senses. Slip up and you’d be dealing with the risk of being found in a girl’s bathroom. 

“Jesus Heejin”–you were trying your best to throw in some dirty talk. It would help to spice things up if it weren’t for the fact that your own words were failing you. Your mind was almost completely consumed by the warm squeeze of her pussy, the small twitches of her walls as you drilled yourself into her tight frame like you were slowly nailing a painting onto the wall of the cramped stall. Actually, you were nailing a painting to the wall of the stall: the way her body moved and responded to your thrusts could easily be considered fine art in your books; her body could be considered a canvas given its pale complexion and its smooth surface. Heejin was an art piece herself – a complicated mix of emotions that could take the place of colour and a mind so complex that no composition could ever capture its essence. Good god… You were hooked on this girl–”you have no idea how fucking good you feel around my cock.”

To be clear: from the moment you started fucking her, she hadn’t turned back to face the wall. This whole time she’d been facing you – eyes smoking under the fire of passion and her mouth slightly parted as if her soft moans and sighs were keeping them permanently open. Simply put – she was hot. If you were to discard the complications behind the sex, one could easily classify this as plain, passionate and simple fucking (in a highly risky scenario that could jeopardize both of your reputations, mainly Heejin’s) between two people who have longed for each other. But the plainness of that sounded unappealing to you; the enthralling fact about this was the complexity of the situation – the thrill behind the immorality of it and the sheer risk behind satisfying your own desires. As she gasped when your hands found purchase in her soft breasts, you wondered if she had the same thoughts running through your head as you (though from the looks of it, she was purely enjoying the sex and probably leaving her thoughts behind. Words fail in times like these – you’d be one to know).

Her voice is unsteady as she hissed through her teeth—harder. Fucking give it to me like I’m yours—to perversely request for more than what you were giving her. To see her this uncouth enthralled you to no end. With one hand on her left tit, you moved to secure her hair in a bunch in your other hand. Her hair was a little far from silky—no doubt from all the dye that it’d seen—but it provided friction for you to grip onto her strands with ease as you decreased the intervals between your thrusts. The sound of wet squelching began to permeate the stall, and it was starting to be accompanied by the soft sounds of skin slapping against skin as you struggled to control your desires to rail the girl before you. Thankfully, the cries of victory from the women outside masked the unsavoury sounds.

“Thank god!” one of them, presumably the one who had their contact lens stuck. You’d affectionately refer to them as ‘Eyes’. “I thought it’d be in there forever. Thanks guys.”

“No worries”, another chimed. It was the second voice you heard when all of them entered. She’d be ‘Two’. “Normally you could take this to Heejin. She’d get you fixed up in a flash.”

“Really?” the third asked. You’ll call her ‘Three’. “Do idols get their contacts stuck a lot?”

“Probably,” Eyes mused, “all that dancing on stage probably isn’t suited for glasses, and who knows what type of contacts their stylists have them on.”

Heejin catched your gaze. Struggling to control her breathing, she managed to confirm Eye’s statement—she’s… kinda right. Oh fuck…—before you pulled back firmly on her hair to shut her mouth. Don’t be mistaken: you loved her personality and all, but now really wasn’t the time for it to shine. For good measure, you sealed her lips with a kiss – sloppy and clumsy and hurried. You squeezed her breast a little harder. 

“Where is she anyway?” Three asked. “I haven’t seen her since she left to go talk to that friend of hers…”

A tongue click of disapproval could be heard. You could imagine that it was followed by a tongue wave of dismissal from the way Two commented, “leave her be. She rarely gets to get out of her schedule. Probably trying to catch up with some old friends or something…”

There was a hum of agreement; Heejin moaned straight into your mouth as you captured her nipple between your fingers and squeezed. If the women outside knew how Heejin was ‘catching up’ with you, you didn’t know how they’d react to the sight of her being fucked raw in a bathroom stall meters away from them. You didn’t know how she was getting away with this, but you weren’t exactly complaining. If it wasn’t for understanding bridesmaids, you wouldn't be able to make a wet mess out of her. Maybe you’d thank them later, but you’d decide on that after you were done with Heejin.

“Was that the guy she was talking about the other day?” Two inquired. You had no idea what she looked like, and it scared you a little that she’d seen your face.

There was a moment of pause before Eyes quipped, “what guy?”

Silence followed Eyes’ question. For a second, you were worried that they’d all picked up on the lewd sounds of you fucking the very girl that they were speaking of. You held your breath, but you didn’t stop pumping your shaft between Heejin’s legs. She was almost like a lifeline – a slick and wet and oh-so-hot one that was keeping grounded in your senses while hooking to the sensation of the slick thrusts inside her pussy. Miracle drug… Or maybe just a drug – either way: Heejin was everything to you right now. Listening in on their conversation was just so that you wouldn’t be found during your few minutes in heaven.

“Nevermind. I think I wasn’t supposed to talk about that,” Two muttered. “Let’s get out of here before someone spikes our drink or something.”

They began discussing more mundane things, and you couldn’t care less about them because all that really mattered was the fact that their voices were fading away. You waited till you heard the sound of the creaky door closing to relinquish Heejin’s lips from your possession. She let out a gasp of air, followed by a desperate cry – loud and pleading now that she had the freedom to speak.

“I’m gonna fucking cum,” she hissed. It was almost a snarl really. “Cum with me. Please.”

She was lucky that you: a) had a really big soft spot for her and; b) knew better than to turn a nice girl down.

With a grunt, the hand on her breast shoots to her throat, gripping it tightly as you frantically fuck Heejin to catch up with her imminent orgasm. She was into it, reciprocating by accompanying your hand on her throat and squeezing even tighter. She lets strained cries tumble from her mouth—Oh yes baby… I’m yours. Oh fuck… Oh my fucking god… You’re gonna make me cum so hard—her wells squeezing tighter and tighter around you. Husky was her voice as she pleaded with you to take your liberties—Fucking cum anywhere you like. I just want to be yours—with her, and she was practically shaking in your grasp as you drove yourself closer and closer to the point of no return inside her wet tight walls. Everything – your heart and soul and whatever – pointed you towards making a huge mess out of the women in your arms, and you endeavoured to achieve that goal one way or another.

The tingling at the base of your cock was steadily growing up your shaft. Your thoughts blurred together, nullifying and cancelling each other out till all you could think of was her. With every pump into her, you told yourself that she was yours to take. With every sigh that left her lips, you thought about how many times she pictured this moment in her head. With each gasp and sigh and moan and cry, you fought the urge to hiss through your teeth—Heejin, I love you so much—and admit your feelings for her and how much you’ve missed her touch; tell her how no one made you feel like she could; let her know that for all these years, you’d longed to reconnect with her and sort things out once and for all. Sweet thoughts; perverse desires. The latter wins – all that comes out of your mouth is, “I’m gonna fucking cum.”

And it happened. A little quicker than you’d have liked but there was no way to control the course that the lust of man would take you down. Your cock pops out of Heejin’s heat, glistening with her slick wetness as you pump yourself to completion with your free hand. The hand on Heejin’s throat was pulled down to her crotch, and she used your fingers to rub the swollen nub of her clit as the first ropes of semen shot out and landed on her lower back. She came as the second rope landed on the swell of her left ass cheek, and her knees buckled as the third and fourth spurts hit the fabric of her tube top and the right side of her lower back respectively. You lost track of the rest of your load as Heejin leaned against you, quaking as her orgasm struck her in waves and your load continued to streak her back. It all was so fast. You wondered how either you managed to process your actions in the moment. 

She panted against you, sweaty and spent as she closed her eyes and caught her breath. Your dick stayed flushed against the small of her back, slick with a mix of fluids from you and her. Your hand at her crotch slowly rubs circles into her clit, easing her off her peak and giving you something else to focus on other than how beautiful she looked. You feared that if you stared too long, you’d say something that you didn’t want her to know. The last thing you wanted was to have that moment of intimacy—facilitated by the afterglow of really good sex—to be ruined by some stupid feelings.

“Hey,” she whispered – all soft and tender as she opened her eyes to stare up at you. “That was fucking incredible.”

You managed a chuckle, restraining the urge to kiss her where she stood. She smiled, reached up to cup your cheek as you stared deep into her eyes. For a moment, the world went silent for you and her.

Then she pulled you down to her, kissed you where she stood. The position was a little awkward, your noses bumping each other at odd spots on your faces as she let the sweet nectar that was her lips grace your mouth in a soft and sweet kiss. It was like nothing you’d ever experienced, different from the kiss you’d given her in the midst of fucking her. It felt so right, so tender.

She released your lips with a soft smack, positively glowing as she gazed into your eyes for a little bit longer. 

“Keep this between us,” she whispered, “I love you. I always have.”

***

You stared blankly at her. It was all you could do really.

“What part of this can’t you understand?” she asked. The anger behind her voice was potent, palpable. “I have a boyfriend. Stay away.”

In your hand, the note that you’d plan to hand her felt a little lighter than it had when you first approached. Wishful thinking had you delusional; there was no chance that she would ever go to that dance with you. 

You thought that maybe the friendship could coax her into it – that maybe the years of what almost felt like kinship would drive her to just hear you out for a little bit; yet you seemed to forget that love is blind and can cloud your judgement.

In a moment, it felt like everything you’d built with her had turned to ashes.

***

“Indulge me Heejin. Bring me through your thought process.”

On the bed of your apartment, Heejin tosses her phone aside. Languidly, she flips onto her side, propping her head up with her hand as her elbow dents the pillow. 

“I know,” she mutters, a little bit shamefully if you might add. “Dating another guy to make you jealous and confess is a classic fanfiction folly and all… But I was desperate.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You know that we could’ve just… talked, right?”

Her lips form a line. She sighs and lets her head flop back onto the pillow with a bit of a thump. To be very clear: you aren’t asking her all these questions to guilt trip her into an apology. You are genuinely curious to understand how she was thinking at the period in your lives. It’s a good point of reflection for the both of you considering you both screwed up in one way or another, and maybe even a good chance to offload some emotional baggage. You’ll admit – finding out that she’d dated the guy she was currently with just to get you to run to her and confess your love in highschool was a bit of a shocking discovery. It was foolish, yes… But you wondered why Heejin of all women would resort to such methods. She could be awfully blunt when she wanted to be, and somehow even more blunt when she was telling you that you looked like shit in skinny jeans. You never knew as one to shy away from a confrontation when necessary, and even though she could be a bit of a big dork, she was emotionally aware enough to understand that communication would easily have settled your feelings for each other.

Heejin rolls in the bed, moving close to you so that she can throw an arm around you as she asks, “you’re not mad right?”

“No. Just curious,” you tell her truthfully. She’s silent for a moment, then she looks you in the eyes and opens up: I always meant to talk to you about it. When I heard from Haesul that you liked me I… I was just ecstatic. You were everything I wanted in a man, and I really just wanted to make you mine. Believe me when I say that I wanted to just run to you after the school bell rang and tell you that I loved you too… and maybe ask you out on a date the next weekend.

Her thumb traces circles on your back. You can tell that she’s being sincere from the way she never shies from your gaze. She continues, “but as I’m running to your class down the hall… This guy comes up to me and just tells me that he’s been crushing on me for years and wants to date me. I want to tell him ‘no’ on the spot. I really did. But I see an opportunity to… I dunno… Spice things up a little.”

And you can guess the rest of the story, but you just want to hear her say it just to be sure. Sure enough, she tells you the exact line that you predicted out of her—one thing led to another and then… well, here we are—and you can’t help but chuckle. The whole thing is pretty damn foolish to be honest, and you recognise the fact that if you’d just acted a little less rashly, maybe you wouldn’t have had to go down the path that you did. It’s a folly of the past but it does bring some shame to your present.

“I’m sorry”—she surprises you with this one. You assumed that you guys are past the stage of reconciliation at this point. I mean… You did fuck in a bathroom before she texted you after the wedding she was attending, so it would be kinda right to just conclude that you guys pre-fired the make-up sex—“I was rash and stupid. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologising again?” you ask her, “I thought we were through with the sob ‘sorry’s and what-nots.”

“Just for good measure,” she whispers, a gleam in her eyes as she shifts around in your bed a little. “You can never be too careful when it comes to these types of things. Don’t want to make you an enemy again, do I?”

“That wouldn’t be too bad,” you reason, albeit playful rather than serious. She recognises that and scoffs as you continue, “they say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

“So what I’m hearing is: you’d stay for the hate sex,” she fires back. You smile.

“Not quite… But somewhat.”

Heejin sighs and slaps your leg. You secretly like pissing her off a little, but she didn’t need to know. 

“Now mister,” she says, hijacking the course of the conversation. “Indulge me and bring me through your thought process, and this isn’t about highschool by the way.”

She presses herself up against you, and you feel her hand slide down your torso and to your crotch.

“Tell me,” she whispers, a bit of smoky sultriness sneaking its way into her voice. “Why are you so fucking hard?”

It’s here that you realise that you’ve kinda walked into a trap. Not that what’s about to proceed is bad or anything, but it’s just that you’re a little disappointed that you hadn’t spotted this a little earlier. There were signs that you ignored when you saw her in your bed – namely the fact that she was wearing a see-through sleeveless dress that had a plunging neckline. If that wasn’t enough, she was blatantly playing with herself when you walked in, staring at her phone with this blanked out expression while her fingers worked between her thighs. If it weren’t for your questions about her relationship decisions, the two of you would probably have been naked and sweating in your bed right now. 

“Can I guy not be excited by a pretty girl?” you’re not trying to play innocent, but you are seeing how far it can get you in this situation just for fun.

“Not this guy.” Heejin’s fingers snake around your cock, gripping it lightly through your pants. “And definitely not when it comes to this girl.”

You chuckle softly and catch her hand at your crotch. You pull it away and lean in to whisper into her ear, “don’t worry Heejin. I’m not ignoring the fact that you’re wearing the easiest thing for me to fuck you in.”

Her eyes brighten. “So you did notice…”

And the kiss that follows is far from tame really. You’re at fault for this one since you initiated it, but that knowledge doesn’t stop you from keeping your hands to yourself as you reach down and locate her pussy. Okay wait, you’re making it sound like it took you some effort to find it when you really only took about a second; it’s really easy considering that the panties she’s wearing were so sheer and thin that you could hardly consider it underwear. It was probably more like a concept of clothing than an actual, tangible thing. And her dress? The hem was a lot shorter than it looked. She probably hiked it up or something.

You’re unsurprised by the slick wetness of her cunt practically dripping out of her at this juncture. She’s probably been holding it in for a while now – suppressing all that lust and hunger to talk about feelings for some 30 minutes before she finally gets the chance to let loose on you. Hats off to her really: she had more control than you’d credit her for.

“Fuck baby,” you whisper, latheing your fingers in her juices by dipping them in between her undoubtedly flushed lips. “So wet for me already.”

“Wetter than I’ll ever be for him,” she sighs, almost breathlessly as she shuts her eyes to enjoy the sensation of your fingers getting familiar with her warm cunt. “You should—mmph… you should be grateful that I’m actually attracted to you.”

“I feel honoured.” you’re being genuine with her, but right now it comes off more as a sarcastic passing comment that leans towards the more tame side of dirty talk. Either way, anything you say would probably end with her putting your dick into one—or maybe all—of her holes and using it to her liking. Not that you’re complaining or anything, but it’s just the way the cookie crumbles. There’s no stopping Heejin’s desire, and there really isn’t a point to trying to stop it. You’d be missing out on, like, a lot. “Though, no pressure, I’d be more honoured if you actually did something about that attraction.”

She smiles, borderline sadistic and a bit more enthusiastic than you’re used to. Her hands are deft as she quickly undoes the knot that keeps your sweatpants around your waist, pulls it off eagerly and makes quick work of your boxers. Your cock springs free, hard and throbbing as she slides out of bed to discard her dress. In record time, she’s between your legs and stroking your shaft with patient strokes of her hand. The cheeky comments that you had beforehand quickly sank back down your chest – replaced by an earthy groan that only Heejin was capable of drawing out of you. 

“You know… I was doing a bit of thinking,” she tells you.

“You do a lot of that.”

Heejin has no comments, only a cheeky little grin as she breathes warm air onto the tip of your cock. It makes you shudder, surging pleasure through your veins down to your bones. She’s oddly good at making you squirm, and you’re not too sure how to feel about that.

“Anyway,” she continues, unfazed by what she’d just done to you. “Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was about to suggest that maybe I could cross out one of my fantasies today.”

You’re no stranger to her wild thoughts that could probably fight that of Sabrina Carpenter. As you’d recently found out: fucking in a bathroom stall was one of many wild fantasies that she’d been wanting to cross out. Now that she had you, she’d been busy crossing more and more of them out. The whole infidelity thing was already a major part of her list considering the fact that she’s doing it with you instead of her ‘official’ partner, and things only get wilder from there. Sex with her can sometimes be like exposure therapy, not that you’ve done it before or anything. 

“And which one are we ruling out today?” you inquire, watching with great interest as she produces her phone from below the mattress and swipes through it eagerly. You never saw her grab the damn thing, but you figured that you were probably too preoccupied with the sight of her undressing to take notice. By the way: the entire time that the two of you had been talking? Yeah, she’s been stroking you through all of that. One can only imagine how you were feeling at the moment.

When you saw her phone, you thought that she was going to open her notes app and start looking through her kinks or something. Nothing prepares you for the sound of a dial tone, and you can only watch as she lays the phone next to your thigh, just out of your reach. 

“No prizes for guessing who I’m calling,” she grins, almost too innocently for your taste. “Try not to make too much noise okay?”

And before anything can be said, she slacks her jaw and draws you into the warm wet depths of her mouth. 

The dial tone only continues as Heejin goes still – adjusting to your size and length and taste and shape and whatever she needs to configure herself to. Frankly: if she’d just started sucking you off with that tight seal around your cock, you would’ve been in perdition in mere seconds after she starts. So you give a small thanks to whoever’s watching over you from up above, and you pray that the person on the other end of the line doesn't pick up. While you utter that silent prayer, Heejin’s tongue introduces itself to your tip, sliding almost gracefully over the head of your cock as her phone rings for the nth time. Another ring; her tongue flattens itself against the base of your dick and melts itself to the surface. You grit your teeth, fearful that the moment you make a sound, the other party would pick up and hear it. She slides up in a fluid motion, almost perfectly seamless if she hadn’t gone too far up too fast. Your cock ends up hitting her in the chin, and she smiles as if it were some cute thing that she was taking care of. 

“Heejin,” you grunt, keeping an eye on the phone screen in fear for both of your lives. “Let’s not—”

The caller chooses that moment to pick up, and this is where the game starts. Your lips shut so fast it feels almost automatic, and Heejin tears her eyes away from yours to focus on the other player of this perverse game. 

“Hi baby,” she greets her ‘lover’, all sweet and cute like she isn’t pumping your saliva-slick shaft in her hand as she calls him a pet name. “I was missing you, so I called.”

“Oh… I’m kinda busy now.” he sounds highly uninterested in her, tone dull and dry as Heejin takes a moment to give your cock a squeeze. “Can you call me back another time?”

For a moment, you’re ecstatic. Maybe you wouldn’t have to be subject to her games this time. 

“Quick chat. Promise,” Heejin fires back. She smiles wickedly, relishing the look on your face as you stare at her in a mix of shock and horror. “Just tell me about your day so far. It’s so hard to wait for you to get home to tell me about your day.”

There’s a moment of silence. Heejin takes advantage of the situation; she puts you back into her mouth and makes quick, sloppy work of your cock. The sound of slurping and gurgling is almost deafening, and there’s no way in hell that this man on the other side of the phone was not hearing all of this as Heejin blew you. You tilt your head back, clenching your teeth to prevent the guttural groan that’s building up deep within your chest from escaping your body. You’re hoping deep breaths of air can fill the space – block the desire to cry out in pleasure at the cusp of being translated into phonetics.

“Fine.” you’re almost grateful to hear that dull voice. “I’ve just been doing some filing and some paperwork… Nothing much really.” 

“Mhm,” Heejin mumbles, your cock still in her mouth. She frees it for a second to deliver a line—that sounds like super important work babe—that’s definitely sarcastic in her head and in concept, but masterfully manipulated to sound sincere and enthusiastic. “Anything else?”

“Uh… No.”

Heejin seems almost too gleeful between your legs. “Great. I’ll give you a quick run-down of my day then.”

She proceeds to give him utter bullshit, lying through her teeth about lazing around in her dorm and eating yoghurt. All the while she’s lazily delivering firm pumps to your cock, the sound of her spit squelching in her own hand a little too loud for your liking. Then she starts twisting, and you feel as if all hell is breaking loose inside of you. Your throat is pricked with the sharp gasps that are fighting to be let out of your mouth, skin tingling with the effervescence of pleasure racing through just about every vein in your body. You’re certain you have a knuckle-white grip on your sheets as uses her thumb to rub against the underside of your slit while her other fingers pull the skin around your head tight to keep the sensitive part of you exposed to her impending assault. 

“Oh, and by the way,” she adds, and you’re wondering what other lies she’s capable of generating right now. “I got a call from my old friend that I met at the club before the wedding… He says he wants to be my personal photographer.”

And now you’re shocked and stunned. What was a passing joke yesterday is now being used against you in a way that you can’t even fathom. Heejin revels in the silence—and all the emotions that could possibly be engendered by that single statement—as she smiles and licks you from base to tip. The layer of saliva around your cock thickens, and she uses that to get more aggressive with her motions. You didn’t know if she has limits to her cruelty, and you really hope that she’s reaching it soon. 

“You know how I feel about that guy…” he begins.

“I know, I know… I’m just telling you to keep you in the know.”—her dismissal of his worries is quick and almost genuine if it weren’t for the fact that she was going against his wishes while she assuages his worries—”wouldn’t want to fight with you again, would I?”

He grunts in agreement. “Stay away from him baby. He’s bad company.”

“Yeah,” she hums, locking eyes with you as she hovers her mouth over your tip. She gives it a swipe of her tongue, smiling as you grimace under the pressure that shoots up from your crotch. “He’s such a bad guy…”

Not that you’re into this or anything, but hearing that drawl—sinful and sultry; raunchy and earthy—made your breath hitch a little. Sure, you’re no stranger to Heejin’s sensual side; but this was a bit of her that you had yet to experience. It felt like she’d dug up a new side to her, something unearthed and unaired, and you’ll be the only one to see it. She could take your breath away in many ways and you’d just found another.

The man on the other end grunts once more. With a gruff “Alright. I’ll text you later”, he hangs up on Heejin, leaving you free to let out the breath that you’d been holding in up till that point. 

“Isn’t he a bundle of sunshine?” Heejin drops the facade almost instantly, using the hand that wasn’t occupied with your cock to retrieve her phone. “Five minutes and twenty-seven seconds… Huh. That’s longer than most of our calls.”

You can only pant and watch as she giggles and tosses her phone aside. She crawls back up the bed and takes your lips into hers, and you’d like to think that it’s a sweet apology for the hell she’d just put you through. Deep down you know it wasn’t, but you’re in the mood for some wishful thinking after what you went through.

“Not sure if I’m being greedy here,” Heejin whispers, “but I’d like you to indulge me just a little more…”

“I’d like to hear this one through first,” you quickly request, because no way in hell were you about to live through those 5 minutes and 27 seconds for a second time. “Can’t let you bite off more than you can chew.”

Heejin laughs, fully aware where this was coming from. 

“Don’t worry. I think you’ll like this one,” she assures you, placing a hand on your chest for good measure. “Hand on my heart, honest-to-god: you’ll love this one as much as the next guy.”

You couldn’t help it. You had to check her – match her step for step.

“Considering that I just saw you lie through your teeth, I think it’s fair to say that I don’t quite trust you,” you tell her as plainly as you can. And it’s not that you actually don’t, but more so the fact that you’re just baiting her into saying something really raunchy that’ll rile the two of you up to no end. Depravity is the root of really good sex after all.

“I promise you,” her lips tilt at an angle as she smiles, “when we're done with this one, I’ll let you cum in my mouth.”

***

You figured that she’d come to you with the news at some point – tell you that he’d found her out and that things are gonna happen and blah blah. What you didn’t expect was for her to show up in the middle of the night to be a bearer of bad news.

“Went back to get a sweater that I’d forgotten,” Heejin’s explaining, a can of beer in her hand and fry in the other. “Open the door and next thing I know, the fucker’s blowing up on me in my face.”

She takes a swig and sighs. “Never liked him anyway… We fought more than we talked. Before you ask, make-up sex was horrible.”

You can only frown and nod in sympathy. You’re complicit in this whole ordeal and so don’t have much of a say in this thing. Guilty as charged, red-handed and whatever. You’re just glad that he didn't come over and beat you up like she said he would. Heejin downs the rest of the beer in the can in a gulp and gently places it on your table.

“Is anything gonna happen to you?” you can’t help but ask out of concern. 

Her smile assures you a little, but her words don’t, “honestly? I don’t know. I’ll find out if my publicist gives me hell tomorrow.”

She rises from her seat. “I’m just glad it’s over,” she says. “Don’t know how much longer I could’ve lived with that dry son of a bitch.”

Her sweater comes off her body. She tosses it at you. In her T-shirt, she struts towards the bedroom, stops in the doorway. With a look over her shoulder, she beckons you to join her—come make my night, would ya?—before slipping into the room.

Always a dance with her.

***

You’re starting to question where Heejin draws the line between her sex life and her regular life. 

(You’ve said this about a thousand times by now, but) Not that you’re carping or whatever, it’s just that sex on the kitchen counter while your instant noodles are clearly being overdone in the pot a few meters away is a bit of a safety hazard. You’re no chef, but bubble frothing out of a closed pot really isn’t a good sign.

“Heejin,” you say, struggling to fit her name between the ragged breaths and frantic thrusts. 

“I know,” she rasps in reply. “Ngh… We can… Turn it off later. I’m so close.”

Pretty solid reasoning in your opinion.

How you got into this situation is a bit more complicated that you’d care to explain, but let’s just say that a late night snack can quickly turn into a literal fuck-fest when Jeon Heejin palmed the shape of your boner as you put a pack of instant noodles into a boiling pot. You didn’t know what came over you really, but after the noodles went in and the pot lid was closed, you had her propped up on the counter and her panties around her ankles. You can figure out how you got to this point. 

Okay: to be fair to Heejin, you did kinda start this whole situation that might just put your lives on the line. You’re the perpetrator, criminal mastermind; yada-yada. But if you were to consider the technicalities, she did aggravate you to fuck her, and by so virtue of that you’re kinda both at fault. Does it make sense? Great, cause a situation where you’re both a little dirty minded makes for really great sex. 

Great… Now you just explained the complicated situation. Eh, who’s exempt from a little contradiction now and then. Anyway… Where were you?

“Oh my fucking god.” she’s moaning a lot louder than usual, loud enough to probably convert her voice into some sort of energy for the homeless or something. Between her thighs lay a wet mess that was the source of all this crying and keening, and your juice slicked cock is the thing that’s driving her wild with ecstasy as she wraps her legs around your waist and pulls you deeper into each thrust with her legs. “Fuck me harder please. I need to cum all over your pretty cock so badly I–”

She barely has it in her to finish her sentence. Her plea is truncated by a sharp cry, and it would be pretty funny if it weren’t for the fact that it's probably one of the hottest things you’ve ever heard. The cry is almost delicate, fragile to the ear and almost like sweet music that plays in the dark. The keyword here is ‘almost’. Your description rings true, but the fact that she’s such a needy little bitch right now kind of ruins it. ‘Ruin’ is a little heavy handed; ‘taint’ would be a better word. 

Yeah… Her want taints the beauty behind her desire… But only a little.

“I’m cumming”—Heejin’s practically whimpering at this rate. God you’d have quite the mess to clean up later—”I’m fucking cumming on your cock daddy I–Oh… Oh god oh fuck.”

“Fucking cum,” you hiss, saliva flying past your teeth and maybe onto her ear. “Be a good little slut and cum for me. Give me a nice and tight pussy to cum inside of.”

It feels weird, dirty even, referring to Heejin as a slut, but her reaction tells you she likes it. She loves being called your slut. You can see her mouth agape, tongue sticking out a little. She can barely keep her eyes open as the pleasure courses through her. Her nails dig into your back, and you think she might be drawing blood, but the pain doesn't matter right now. The only thing that matters is the sight before you.

She cums hard, and you know this because her walls clamp down on you like a vice. If you could, you would have taken a picture. The sight is just that amazing, but you're also preoccupied. The pressure is just right. The rhythmic pulsing of her walls against your throbbing cock is too much for you to take. Your hips stutter to a stop as you release a deep moan, and she gasps as she’s filled with rope after rope of hot cum.

When you finally come down from your high, Heejin is still panting heavily, eyes still squeezed shut, and legs still wrapped around your waist. You can't hold back the little smile that crosses your face as you watch her catch her breath. She looks so peaceful. It's hard to imagine her as a girl with the dirtiest mouth you've ever heard. 

She peeks an eye open to see you staring.

“The pot dummy,” she reminds you, and the horrors of reality come crashing back all at once.

***

So you do find a little bit of a charm behind really soggy Buldak in the wee hours of the night. It’s not the best thing you’ve tasted, but it had its appeal. The sauce helped to mask the depression in the sad, close-to-slimy strands of dough in your bowls, though it didn’t stop you from experiencing a new texture that was severely overcooked noodles.

“Still think we could’ve left it in a little longer,” Heejin muses, staring at the limp noodle trapped between her chopsticks. “Maybe from there we could reverse-engineer the noodle and re-cook it.”

“Yea. And maybe we don’t fuck when there’s clearly a four minute limit to this stuff,” you add befor slurping up the last few spicy, sad and soggy strands in your bowl. 

“Hey. I’m pretty sure the sex was good enough to offset this abomination,” she huffs, setting down her bowl next to yours. “Besides… We’re kinda both in the wrong this time. It’s not always just me you know?”

“Never said it was your fault.” you’re admiring the way her eyes glow in the dim light. At the right angle, it looked like the light was filling her pupils in the most adorable way. “You’re just inferring shit from a passing statement.”

“Wonder where I picked that up from…” she fired back, though it felt much more like she was conceding defeat than challenging further provocation. It was always a dance with her: unpredictable patterns in constant motion, and all you can do is follow her lead.

Maybe one day you’d find the time - make up for the dance you lost and dance with her for real.

Hi. Kinda posting here again because my therapist said that it was good for me to continue writing to regulate my emotions. This one is kinda messy and unedited cause I just wanted to get this out here for funsies. Anyway, I won't be posting as frequently as I used to, but I will drop by from time to time. No promises that I'm gonna be incredibly active and no promises that I won't disappear of the face of the earth again.

Cheers, Nichu

[tossawary]

Moshang fanfic idea that I've been holding onto for a while but have no strong plot for: the Airplane Extras meet-ugly happens as per canon UNTIL Mobei-Jun asks why Shang Qinghua saved him / what Shang Qinghua wants from him.

At which point, a panicking Airplane desperately searches for a compelling and believable character motivation as to why he would stupidly save the life of a murderous demon who might still kill him, and hastily blurts out: "You're so beautiful that I fell in love at first sight!"

Important to note: this is not true. It is bullshit. Airplane thinks MBJ is incredibly hot, obviously, but he does not know or like this guy as a person, because MBJ is both a relative stranger and a scary asshole.

Also important to note: some demon cultures have a marriage kidnapping tradition, but that happens under very specific and usually pre-arranged circumstances that obviously do not apply here. Mobei-Jun being whisked off to the equivalent of a shitty motel room by some random human outer disciple, who absolutely cannot forcibly keep him there, has no real romantic connotations. It's just weird. There's not even any life debt tradition aspect to it; Mobei-Jun could just kill this guy now and it wouldn't say anything about his personal honor even if anyone found out. It would just be humiliating. This guy would have to be fucking nuts to think this interaction is anything that anyone, especially any authority, would recognize, and that's not what this guy is claiming anyway. All he's doing is claiming that he's suddenly in love with a hostile stranger, which is still nuts.

So, Mobei-Jun (who is also still a teenager) is just... surprised and extremely confused. Does this kind of thing... honestly happen... in real life? Really??? And Airplane is like, "Aw, fuck, I made it weird. Well! I have no choice but to go with this!" and starts up the "Please don't kill me!" thigh-hugging routine.

Somehow, Moshang make it out of that meet-ugly similarly to how they usually do. Airplane is like, "Well, fortunately, nothing will ever come of this! No way would someone like Mobei-Jun ever return the feelings of his gross, pathetic human servant. I can freely express how sexy I think he is and it'll just be meaningless lovesick flattery to this asshole." Real emotions? That soft, squishy bullshit? Airplane does not have the TIME to contemplate having sincere feelings. He's in survival mode.

And teenage Mobei-Jun, spoiled demonic nobility extraordinaire, who otherwise would have spent the next 20 years or so thinking of his human servant as gross and pathetic and repulsive but strangely useful, is like, "I think... I'm being wooed...??? Is this working on me...? He's kind of... not unattractive, actually, for a madman. Maybe I should try to be... nice... to him??? How do humans do this???"

And THEN, months to years later, young and in-love Mobei-Jun somehow finds out that Shang Qinghua outright lied to him. (And by this point is pretty fond of Mobei-Jun but still hasn't looked directly at his own real emotions for years. He's busy.)

Arguably, the above idea is one way to interpret normal canon already, with Mobei-Jun reading more than is mutually understood into Shang Qinghua's bullshit, failing to communicate what he thinks their relationship is (if he even fucking knows himself), and then feeling betrayed when Shang Qinghua ditches him for being an asshole. But I'm charmed by the idea of distracted Shang Qinghua explicitly lying, actively making it WORSE by knowingly behaving "romantically" under the assumption that it's harmless fawning because Mobei-Jun basically doesn't even HAVE emotions, and then getting totally blindsided by having his "impossible unrequited love" returned and accidentally, apparently breaking Mobei-Jun's heart. Fuck!!!

[grievedeeply]

I really love your first kiss hcs with dammon and rolan request! Can I request first kiss hcs with Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Halsin, and Zevlor?

sorry these are short! i didn't want to be too repetitive with them but i hope you enjoy anyways and thanks for the request! (and sorry this took forever to do lol)

gn!reader/tav | no tws

first kiss hcs with astarion, gale, wyll, halsin and zevlor

astarion

kisses aren't a big deal for him most of the time. he doesn't think of them as anything more than something you do with someone else. he'd done it plenty of times.. but not with someone like you

he really feels something for you, something real and genuine. he'd be lying if he said it didn't scare him, but it's just the truth

he wants his first kiss with you to be meaningful

it's not going to be in some sort of grand setting. it's probably in the middle of the woods somewhere and completely unplanned, too

but that's the beauty of it. a kiss so in the moment it comes naturally to the two of you. it's soft and gentle and warm.. things astarion isn't used to in kisses

he's used to fervor— intense moments that aren't exactly intimate. but this.. this is something special and it's beautiful. he doesn't ever want it to end, but it does, eventually.

but that's alright, because he'll start it all over again

gale

kisses have always been something intimate in his eyes, and he doesn't give them away lightly

he has to feel really genuine about someone for him to even think about wanting to kiss them, and he feels that way towards you rather quickly

you're kind and understanding, helpful and compassionate. all amazing qualities and when added to your incredible personality.. you are someone he sees himself having something real with

he'll take you on a date first. it's nothing fancy but it is special to both of you. it's probably a picnic under the stars.. somewhere where it can be just the two of you alone

he'll caress your face and stare into your eyes before he kisses you, making it very clear on what he wants before actually doing it

it's a sweet kiss, short but filled with everything he wants to say. he doesn't make a big deal about it in front of you, but he does have a giddy smile on his lips for the rest of the night

wyll

similarly to gale, he believes kisses are something special— something intimate

he wants his first kiss with you to be perfect. he'll probably have the entire day planned out. a nice dinner or a picnic or something similar, and spending the evening under the stars

in truth, your first kiss with him is far from planned and happened solely because it felt right

even if he wants it to be perfect, he's probably the one initiating it. he just saw you and couldn't resist

while it's not the scenario he pictured in his mind, he doesn't care. any moment shared with you is perfect and one he wants to enjoy for all it is

it's not what he envisioned, but it's perfect because he shared it with you

halsin

also wants his first kiss to be perfect in some aspects, but he's more focused on the special part of it than anything else

he's with you. does the moment feel right? does it look like you're into whatever situation you might be in with him?

he's definitely going to whisper, "can i kiss you?" while looking hopelessly into your eyes like a man so deeply in love the only thing he can think of is you

the kiss is lovely and everything he wanted it to be because it was with you. you could be completely inexperienced and he wouldn't care, or the opposite, solely because it was with you

halsin is very sweet and very open about his feelings on things, so he'll be letting you know how nice the kiss was

i think he's probably had a few first kisses with other people in the past, but none of them even come close to the moment he shares with you

zevlor

zevlor has to get over his anxieties first to be able to accept how much he wants to kiss you

assuming that he's older than you, he has to talk himself out of not liking you because of his age, even if you make it very clear that you like him in that way

when he finally jumps over that hurdle, kissing you is all he can think about whenever he's around you until the exact moment it happens

definitely very impromptu. wasn't planned at all and he completely kissed you on impulse because it felt right and because he would back out later on

it's special to him and means a lot when you don't pull away. the man is so anxious.....

he thinks about it a lot. it might not have been the ideal place but it was perfect because the kiss makes him realize just how much you like him

it makes him feel good, honestly <3

[beddybites]

The horrors have returned D: I hope you get better soon!

Anyway if you're up to it I'd love to hear about the pint sized pillars "kid modes" that they have. It's so cute :( I just want them to have happy childhoods

hi anon! im so sorry i took so long to respond to this ask— this ended up in my drafts with how often i was going back to edit it haha ;u; i had to brainstorm a bit!

in order of eldest to youngest—

gyomei

sweetest soft spoken sensitive teenager ever

he really doesn’t change all that much— he’s definitely less “leadery” and “old” though. he acts like any other kid

very gentle and humble. he gets easily flustered

amane gave him a kiss on the head and gyomei had to excuse himself

sanemi and tengen found him knelt down and trying to hold back tears. he was not expecting such affection since he’s used to always being the caretaker

one day he was deep in kid mode while everyone else was fine. and him being so naturally kind and loving caused several of them to drop down with him

tengen

he’s 10x more silly and playful

however it’s also obvious he has some self confidence issues

tengen doesn’t go kid mode a lot but when he does he gets really embarrassed and upset about being seen like that

he’s like those disney channel cartoons where the little kid thinks someone is really beautiful so he constantly gives them flowers and gifts. thats him with suma, makio, and hinatsuru

“honey you don’t need to do that… we’re all married to you in the future!”

“WE’RE MARRIED?”

when tengen recovers from kid mode he is as red as a tomato while his wives fawn over him and reassure him its okay

kid mode tengen loves playing with the little ones, and rough-housing with sanemi and rengoku

giyuu

ohhhhh he’s a happy little thing. it freaks everyone out at first

very friendly and compassionate, though he mostly keeps to himself

kid mode giyuu is a little more talkative, but only after he comes out of his shell

usually it’s one of the older boys or shinobu who can get him to engage with everyone

if one of the other kids struggles he will awkwardly shuffle over and give them a hug

kid mode giyuu is fairly close with rengoku, kid mode or not

he also really likes being around sanemi and obanai, since they are his age

if all three of them , or if just sanemi and obanai , are in kid mode, they’re a trio of best friends

sanemi

he is so god damn helpful

sanemi is pretty sweet and smiley, and he always leaps at the opportunity to help one of the other kids

kid mode sanemi tends to constantly wander up to kagaya (or whoever is babysitting) and ask what he can do

but every time they just reassure him its ok, and he should go be a kid and play with the other ones

he’s disappointed but then he gets really excited when tengen and rengoku invite him to play and he’s the happiest little thing

kid mode sanemi likes hanging out with the big kids, especially tengen. tengen (and kid mode tengen) think its sweet, and make a point of including him whenever they can

he’s weirded out by genya being older and taller than him but genya makes up for it via piggy back rides

obanai

shy and jittery little thing. he doesn’t drop his guard until a bit into the transformation, even in kid mode

usually the telltale sign of obanai being in kid mode is how small he looks. he curls in on himself and his eyebrows furrow with anxiety

he’s also way more flustered around mitsuri. he has a big crush on her. kid mode mitsuri and mitsuri both find it adorable— though she doesn’t recognize the “crush” aspect. mitsuri just finds obanai very sweet and open

he is also really sensitive. you break a rule in a game? he’s upset. you take someone’s spot? he’s upset. you try to steal food from mitsuri? run

he always needs to be warm … if obanai is the only one in kid mode, you better believe everyone is offering him a warm hug or snuggles

obanai has a hard time choosing who to go to, so then half of them/all of them have a group hug

he whispers a lot. it can be hard to hear him sometimes

when he wants something, he frames it as “kaburamaru wants x” or “kaburamaru says y”

rengoku

think regular rengoku but now a literal child

honestly people cannot tell when he’s in kid mode or not. rengoku is sweet and chaotic no matter what

though kid mode rengoku tends to address everyone in a very polite manner. he calls gyomei “mr. himejima,” despite gyomei telling him he didn’t have to

he does get a little sad when people mention his dad. he will straight up start crying his heart out if he’s reminded of his mom in any way

kid mode rengoku tries to be a big brother to senjuro, and senjuro plays along, but then it cuts to rengoku being fast asleep and senjuro tucking him in, or senjuro having to help his brother get ready for bed

rengoku talks about senjuro whenever he can, kid mode especially. he has no filter at all

he would be a leash kid purely because he has a habit of forgetting small things and getting distracted and wandering off because he saw a cool butterfly and wanted to tell senjuro about it

mitsuri

similar to rengoku she doesn’t change all that much, but she’s even sweeter and more emotional than before

and like rengoku she’s more polite, though she doesn’t really have any problem asking for things or communicating her needs

kid mode mitsuri wanted to rough house too, but the older boys thought she would get hurt. she proceeded to lift sanemi up and hold him above her head

since then she has been invited to play with them every single session

she thinks obanai is super cute and is less filtered about it. same with muichiro, though mitsuri will just walk over and pinch his cheeks or scoop him up into a hug

when they play house, mitsuri is always the mama, and muichiro is always her baby

she and shinobu regularly team up to do the boy’s hair and makeup

shinobu

mischievous little beast

scary smart, but way more obvious about it

this four year old will casually list all the elements on the periodic table then pretend nothing happened , as to intimidate the others

everyone fears her

LOTS of batting her eyelashes and an extended “pleeeeaaaaassssseeee”

she has her rage and can be a grumpy kid. she’s usually well behaved, but if she didn’t get a nap, or if she’s hungry, that’s when she gets more bristly and sensitive

shinobu tends to be more open too. there’s multiple instances where she started getting really sad out of nowhere, and when pulled aside by gyomei, she would start crying about how much she misses her big sister

she and kanao are still extremely close. kanao loves having a little sister, and does her hair and plays dress up with her

she still pesters giyuu. though when giyuu is also in kid mode, the two can usually be found giggling and chatting, and giyuu will give her piggy back rides and what not

muichiro

literally a one year old baby

the sweetest and happiest little baby. he is usually seen smiling and his giggles will fill up the room

he loves being around the others. he especially loves “play time” because he’ll crawl around on the ground and go right up to people

mostly gyomei. he mostly approaches gyomei

but as happy as he is, he cries pretty easily. can’t find his stuffed bunny? cries. cant fall asleep? cries

everyone spoils the hell out of him. they love when he goes baby mode. he is the cutest little thing

lots of idle babbles and muichiro making one-worded sentences that mostly consist of him saying someone’s name or pointing out something

amane and kagaya are extremely paternal to the point baby mode muichiro refers to them as his mama and papa

it breaks everyone’s heart

the baby always wants someone’s attention. even if its as simple as being in their arms. he especially loves being with gyomei

there have been several instances where he noticed obanai wasn’t eating, and would try to feed him his baby food so “obi” could get a full belly

tengen and sanemi started laughing and it resulted in the two getting a face full of mushed up veggies and rice

[solecize]

  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤����𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (4)

ten years of being one and the same with jungkook as the country's it couple is the perfect disguise for the reality of a tumultuous relationship hidden behind the scenes.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: a party at the notorious hotel azure, the hot-spot for the top names of south korea's entertainment industry, goes awry. in front of everyone, your relationship reaches it's breaking point - except, it doesn't. 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: idol!jungkook/female idol!reader and fictional versions of various idols 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. idol au, on-and-off relationship, angst, i swear there's fluff, fake dating, and themes of first love, growing up, struggles with fame, and marriage (ish) 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. portrayal of a toxic couple (implications of emotional abuse and control), both main characters are very flawed, violence, infidelity, foul language, substance use (illegal drugs) 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. based off of "you're losing me" by taylor swift. this is a fictional portrayal of real-life people that implement some aspects of real-life events. extra warning for heavy substance abuse in this chapter - the usage of this is not meant to be glamourized in any way. i don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, so please note the underlying commentary on idol life and substance use. as someone who has been diagnosed with substance use disorder, i encourage learning about its complexities and ending stigma around it. there is also a quick note at the end of the chapter regarding its ending. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤjoin the taglist here! ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤm.list | previous | next

you might just have dealt the final blow stop, you’re losin’ me

TOP HEADLINE TODAY: big hit entertainment releases a trailer on official youtube channel, announcing bts’ upcoming world tourㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤapril 2018

  two years made a night and day difference in your relationship. after the highs and lows that brought several short-term breakups, 2018 was supposed to be your and jungkook’s year. it was a fresh start and the turn of your early twenties was the world at your fingertips. young, beautiful and wealthy - it was a dream for any idol in south korea. 

  a fresh start wasn’t always easy when skeletons lurked in your closet, though. watching your boyfriend pace back and forth in his kitchen, a glass of whiskey on the rocks at hand, jungkook looked completely different. you weren’t sure if you’d finally snapped out of the daze that framed him as a teenager, bursting with energy, but things hadn’t been the same in a long time.

  “yeah, y/n is coming with me,” you heard him say, your ears perking up at the sound of your name. it was hard to read his tone, but something told you that the person on the other end was surprised at his statement.

  he finally noticed that you walked into the room, having finished slipping on your coat. jungkook sighed, tilting back the last of his drink and telling the person on the phone that he had to go. his furrowed eyebrows were telling enough that he was annoyed with you.

  “what? i only took an hour,” you said, walking over from the doorway of his bathroom.

  jungkook rolled his eyes. “an hour after the party started. let’s get going, the boys said they’re waiting for us,” he complained. “you’re the one who insisted on coming with me, anyway.”

  at that, you didn’t say anything because you knew it would only escalate into an argument. jungkook had been recently accusing you of being overly controlling when it came to hanging out with his friends, which led to an invite to tonight’s party to be extended to you, as well. 

  however, parties at places like hotel azure were now a routine for you and jungkook, which was one of the only things that was constant against change in the past two years. with fame came notoriety and after clawing your way up the social ladder amongst the country’s musical elite, invitations to galas and lounges and the vip section of the club came left and right. everyone now knew you as one of the idol power couples behind the curtain and your respective presences were expected at events. 

  a molasses-like tension sat in the air when it came to this. although you and jungkook were known as one, it wasn’t easy to ignore jungkook’s individual stardom that garnered mass attention. his biggest supporter, you loved this for him - until you didn’t. he would jet off to tokyo and shanghai to party with a-listers and meet new people everywhere he went. he was rising before your very eyes and you couldn’t help but feel left behind.

  “did you not tell them we got back together?” you suddenly asked, trailing out the front door with an impatient jungkook.

  he only shrugged. it was hard to keep up when you and jungkook had taken several sporadic “breaks” over the last year. as a couple, you showed your best and smiled in front of everyone. however, your friends were the ones who would witness arguments in the corner of the room or furious frenzies of text arguments whilst working. 

  it was hard to manage a relationship that was akin to a fire - passionate, but ready to set ablaze at all times. 

  you weren’t sure how you and jungkook got to this point. you were no longer kids who only had each other. it could’ve been so many things - age, fame, money. there were other underlying issues that came with all these things. after all, by the time you were sat in the car, the first flask was already finished between you and him.

  the drive to hotel azure was a blur and before you knew it, you were taking shots with kim yoojung and suzy in the penthouse suite. jungkook had walked away with his friends upon entering the party and it was already a lost idea to find him. you exchanged few words on the way to the venue, as he seemed to still be frustrated with you for a variety of reasons.

  besides, it was a jackson wang party. the suite was filled to the brim with the who’s who of the entertainment industry, all mingling and dancing in an exalted existence that only celebrities enjoyed. others were outside at the rooftop pool, basking in the first of the year’s warm air. there were too many things going on at once.

  the only warmth you were concerned with was the hot sensation spreading throughout your body from hennessy. “how’s the filming of your new show?” you asked suzy, who was now flushed from the round of drinks.

  “exhausting. how’s the recording of your new album?” she sighed.

  “exhausting.”

  a murmur of agreement ensued. that was why everyone was gathering - an escape from the fastlane of their lives. the industry was draining and every forced smile for the cameras only weighed heavier on someone.

  “that nct member your boyfriend is friends with was passing out xans,” warned yoojung, poking your side.

  a year ago, you would have made a scene. now jaded and long given up on trying to knock some sense into him, you peeked over yoojung’s shoulder to check out the hallway ahead. turning back to the other two women, you already made up your mind.

  “the bathroom over there is free,” was all you had to say and with you swiping your clutch off the counter, they knew what you were thinking. they knew what was in its contents.

  you had to - it was a jackson wang party. ironically, you were never able to recall actually seeing jackson at his parties. really, you weren’t able to recall much in general the day after for certain reasons and tomorrow was looking no different when you busted out of the bathroom minutes later, giggling and brushing off your clothes. at the very least, you knew that you weren’t looking out of place, especially if what yoojung said was true. everyone in the room could afford the best to use, so why wouldn’t they?

  “we should go to the pool!” 

  it didn’t take much convincing for you to be dragged outside, as the high was settling in and you suddenly became a social butterfly. the three of you arrived poolside, where you were greeted by more of your peers. you wouldn’t call them your friends. 

  the exception was jimin, who you were surprised to see. he was very amicable and well-liked amongst social circles, but wild parties were never quite his scene. some of jungkook’s group mates had an affinity for nights out, but you and jungkook attended a specific genre of parties that the others didn’t vibe with on the regular.

  you smiled a little too wide. “jimin!”

  the group you approached sat poolside on a couch, as jimin scooted over to make room for. you barely fit, but he made sure to make it work for one of his best friends’ girlfriend. stumbling a bit when you squeezed past others’ knees, he offered his arm to help steady you.

  “hey, y/n. jungkook went somewhere else?” he asked slowly, examining your face. 

  jimin had a beer in his hand and appeared significantly more sober than the other partygoers, who were now immersed back into their previous conversation after your arrival. suzy and yoojung were laughing with the others, probably now too high and drunk to even remember that they walked over with you. meanwhile, jimin had his jacket on, as if he was right about to leave until you came outside. his mind was changed when he saw how wasted you were.

  you looked around, hoping the fresh air would help you focus. “mmm, yeah. think he’s with jaehyun.”

  it didn’t. it also felt like hours since you last spotted your boyfriend, but you were having fun. however, that wasn’t what jimin was concerned about.

  “you’re doing okay?” jimin questioned, a frown tugging at his lips. 

  if it wasn’t someone like jimin who knew you well, it wouldn’t be so obvious that you were now quite inebriated. your giggles were a little too loud and you would never stumble in high heels sober. 

  when you didn’t answer, jimin finished the last of his drink and set it on the table in front of you before standing up. there was a glint of worry in his eyes. 

  he said, “stay right there. i’m going to get you some water and find jungkook.”

  truthfully, you didn’t want him to locate your boyfriend, but jimin was already off. you huffed some hair out of your face. you didn’t think you were in that bad of a shape. 

  now that there was room on the couch, you were able to move over. when jimin left, you noticed that the girl next to you was watching the interaction the entire time. she was young and the doe-like expression on her face read that this was her first time at hotel azure. she was dressed to the nines and carried herself with energy.

  “hi, you’re nova!” it was more of an exclaimation than a question, when she smiled at you.

  your mood dampened at this. you did not have time to be entertaining whatever lucky rookie idol she was, probably scoring a luky invite. you also despised being called your stage name when you weren’t in front of a camera or fans. however, you put on your best plastered on smile.

  “hi. you are?” you asked, wanting to try to be polite.

  she ignored it. “wow, so it’s true then?” she asked. “you’re dating jungkook! and you were just talking to jimin, you must be so close with all of bts!”

  it was like an immediate headache onset, as you tried not to wince at her nearly screaming into your ear. the music was loud, but not that loud. at least she acknowledged you first, some people often went all in by just talking about jungkook. you would have engaged in actual conversation with her if she didn’t ignore your first attempt.

  “y/n, try this!”

  a red solo cup was pushed in front of your face and you didn’t think twice about taking a sip. anything to not hear the girl drone on about your boyfriend. it was sour and medicinal at the same time, causing you to make a face. the actor who passed it to you chuckled, as you gave it back.

  you coughed. “that was disgusting.”

  for some reason, the smell of the drink alone made your head hurt. you mumbled an ‘excuse me’ at the young idol, who was still talking about bts the entire time that interaction with the drink happened, and got up. your legs were weak. 

  for a while, you were walking around with no purpose, observing those around you blankly. when the drinks and the drugs and the desire to fit in faded away, it was boring. 

  you wondered if you actually liked being at these parties or if you were there just because. the “just because” could have been anything - just because it was expected by your circle, just because it was the only way to let out steam from the demands of your job. maybe even. . .just because of jungkook.

  “looking for your boyfriend?”

  at some point, you wandered over to the shadowy corner of the rooftop, where someone was smoking a joint. you tried your best to recall his name, as you’d just been on a variety show with him, but the best you could do was remember that he was a member of winner. you winced at yet another mention of jungkook, but ignored it again.

  he held the joint out as an offer and you accepted without hesitation, letting the smoke fill your insides. it was easy to ignore the burn in your throat when you’d already been putting random substances into your body since the night began.

  “not really,” you admitted, though you did scan the crowd when you did.

  he cocked an eyebrow. “oh? aren’t you two always hand in hand at these things?” he made a gesture, referring to the party as a whole.

  a year or two ago, you would have spent the entire party on jungkook’s lap and exclusively mingled and drank from that same spot. as time went on and jungkook began attending parties and clubs without you, it was a growing occurrence that you began doing your own thing when you appeared with him.

  “dunno,” was all you could say, not wanting to talk more about it.

  it appeared that he got the hint, dropping the subject of jungkook. instead, he failed to hide the once over he made of your appearance and you fought a shiver. you felt like you were naked under his stare, as your skin-tight maxi dress didn’t leave much to the imagination. you never felt unsafe to wear what you wanted on a night out - albeit, your boyfriend was usually with you.

  “you cold? want my jacket, sweetie?” he asked, sugar lacing every one of his words.

  that’s when you became alert, despite your body’s lack of sobriety working against you. he had taken a half-step towards you and you instantly stepped backwards. you’d never been so uncomfortable, but it was a struggle to steady yourself.

  you mustered up some solidity in your voice. “no. you can back up now,” you said, handing the joint back to him. “thanks.”

  he didn’t get the hint. “then, do you wanna go inside with me? where’s it’s warmer?”

  the smirk on his face sent off alarms in your head, as you continued to walk away, he still remained close to you when you did. 

  “i said i’m good. you’re getting weird, so back up,” you repeated, eyes darting around to see if anyone would step in.

  instead, everyone was still lost in their own worlds. some people were laughing away, trashing the bar on the other end of the rooftop. the people you were with on the couch were taking shots. nobody was noticing the interaction between you and this man.

  when he took a firm grip on your arm, you thought you were about to throw up. you noticed that you hadn’t even been walking straight and when you blinked, he was already in front of you. your words couldn’t find themselves when you saw double everywhere you turned. you were fucked and you couldn’t even defend yourself.

  then, it happened.

  when you jumped at the sound of a sudden impact, you thought that you were the one who fell down. but, there was no pain. there was a round of gasps. there was yelling. there was a body on the ground and it was the man’s.

  “are you fucking crazy?! don’t you put your dirty ass hands on her ever again or i’ll kill you with my bare hands, asshole!”

  the voice belonged to jungkook. it was the first time you’d seen him all night. he was standing over the man’s body, yelling further profanities at him. you saw red - both on his knuckles and in his bloodshot eyes. 

  you let out a scream when the man suddenly got to his feet, lunging at jungkook. this was when others ran in, straining to peel their two bodies away from each other. 

  people stopped to watch, but it was almost dystopian to see that some didn’t even care. they continued taking shots and smoking their joints. it was a daze of glimmer and drugs that only existed in the penthouse suite of hotel azure - where the rich and famous didn’t have time for scuffles. 

  “jungkook, stop!” you screeched, your voice cracking and tears welling up in your eyes.

  it took three people to pull jungkook alone, as others also came to the rescue of the other man. jaehyun and yugyeom each clutched onto one of jungkook’s arms, while bambam stood between the two. it looked like they had all chased jungkook from inside the penthouse, who had slammed the sliding door open.

  when jungkook picked up a glass beer bottle in his rage, you almost ran in yourself. he’d swatted jaehyun and yugyeom’s grips away to do so. thankfully, it was jimin who dashed in to swipe the object away from jungkook’s grasp, before the situation escalated to disastrous.

  if jimin didn’t wrestle the weapon out of jungkook’s hands, it would have been detrimental beyond saving. 

  “you piece of shit!” snarled the man, who spat in jungkook’s direction. “your little girlfriend should know how much of a piece of shit you are, too!”

  at that, you froze. jungkook only narrowed his eyes at him, as if daring him to continue. the next few moments didn’t seem real. his friends took the opportunity to take hold of him again, now with bambam joining in and trying to talk some sense into him.

  “kook, calm down. seriously, you need to just - “

  jungkook shot back, ignoring bambam. “you better shut your fucking mouth.” through gritted teeth, he kept urging for jaehyun and yugyeom to let go of him, which they thankfully didn’t.

  he only chuckled and your heart dropped when he turned to you. “nah, you must already know he’s a piece of shit. you must be cool with that and with the fact that he’s fucking his backup dancer.”

  what he said was loud and clear, but you didn’t even register it. you thought you were dreaming. you didn’t know what to do.

betrayal had a funny effect on people and on you, it was seething fury.

  if you were sober, it would have been your turn to lunge at someone. you considered it and decided that it wasn’t a bad idea. taking off your heels and making strides towards the man, nobody expected you to clock the man right in the jaw. he yelped, stumbling backwards from the impact. in your state, you only just realized that you’d actually hit him with one of your shoes.

  “that was for me, you creep,” you hissed, as he cussed loudly at his now bloody nose. 

  you even pondered pushing him into the pool, but decided it wasn’t worth it. the adrenaline in your veins - and whatever other substances were in there - wasn’t enough to distract you from the pit in your stomach from what the man said. something in you didn’t even consider the possibility of it being untrue - your gut told you otherwise. 

  you stared at jungkook, searching for any rebuttal. however, you knew the look on his face. it was the truth. not once did jungkook even try to dispute the accusation. your anger died down now and you were left feeling like you were floating. this couldn’t be real.

  it was now jungkook’s turn to stand frozen. you didn’t have time for this or for him. even his friends were frozen and you didn’t know what emotions were on their faces. shocked, but at what? that he was cheating on you or that he just got exposed? reality was beginning to sink in and the only thing you knew was that you needed to get out of there. you thought you looked like the biggest joke in the world, whether his friends knew about it or not.

  “what do you think you’re doing? go after her!” 

  that was jimin’s voice, horrified that his friend was just passively watching you run out of there. jungkook finally made a sprint for it. you’d pushed past several people and jungkook didn’t catch up to you until you reached the elevator.

  your vision was waning and the source could have been either the situation or your body finally giving up on you from what you had consumed all night. you needed to sit down. hurriedly, you jammed the button to close the elevator door, but a hand stuck out to force it open.

  jungkook was pleading. “y/n, just one second - “

  “no, get away from me.”

  “look, let’s talk! please!” he cried, trying to enter the elevator with you.

  at this point, you were shoving him away. you didn’t care, you needed him out of your face before you began crying. he wasn’t fighting back at all, letting you continuously push him, but didn’t move an inch. 

  “you’re scum to me,” you growled, eventually giving up and tripped backwards from your own force.

  the elevator closed and for thirteen long floors, it was just you and him in that one space.

  “please, let’s communicate - isn’t that what you always wanted for us?” jungkook said and did his best to get you to meet his eyes. “bug, come o -”

  the fire in your eyes was nothing like he’d ever seen before from you. “don’t you dare call me that ever again!” 

  bug was his special name for you, short for lovebug. you used to get upset when he would call you your full name over bug. in that moment, it sickened you to hear it.

  everything began clicking in your head. the way he rarely called you when he was on tour. the slow buildup of disinterest in your wellbeing. going to places that he always went to without you. being secretive of what he was doing on his phone. this behaviour multiplied recently and with another world tour for bts lined up, you now knew why.

  jungkook was living an entirely different life away from you. you just thought he would never have it in him. not the kind and sweet jungkook you met all those years ago.

  you ripped off the tennis bracelet from your wrist, which jungkook had given you for your eighteenth birthday. a look of defeat rested on his face when you hurled it at him, which he didn’t even bother to dodge. he knew he deserved it. 

  the elevator dinged and you made a beeline for the first door you saw. you weren’t even running, but jungkook dashed to meet you there. you let out a cry of frustration when he stood right in front of you, blocking the entrance. 

  “move or you’ll regret it.”

  he ignored you and you instead side-stepped away, using all your energy to exit through the next door before jungkook could realize. he tried blocking you again, but only caught a bit of your force because you were too fast.

  the entire time this was happening, you’d been trying to dial someone, anyone. none of your group mates were answering. you didn’t have any friends that weren’t at the party upstairs. the last resort was your manager, who you were about to call, when jungkook stood in front of you again.

  “y/n, please. i’ll get on my knees if i have to,” jungkook begged and you could see that he was fighting tears. “please, i just want to talk.”

  however, you could also see that jungkook was far from sober. he was in a worse state than you were. a bruise was to soon form on his jaw and his hair was disheveled. it was the lowest you’d ever seen him.

  for a split second, you tried. you wanted to try and see the boy you fell in love with all those years ago. you searched and searched. 

  “what? i’ve asked you for years to communicate in this relationship and it only becomes important after you cheat on me?” 

  jungkook knew he was defeated, but he still looked at you with those same pleading eyes. “i know i don’t deserve you - “

  “i don’t even recognize you!” you interrupted. “i don’t even know who you are!”

  both of you knew that you were right. something went wrong along the way. you were barefoot and exhausted, no longer with light in your eyes. jungkook was pitiful and lost - lost in his fame, in the parties, and from you. 

  that night at hotel azure should have been the end. the storybook fairytale should have been over. in that moment, you would have even moved as far as you could and ran away from the dread of the life you were living. you gave up that night.

  unfortunately, in the craze of the night’s events and the substances swimming in your bodies, both you and jungkook forgot who and where you were.

  TOP HEADLINE TODAY: breaking news! dispatch releases exclusive photos of bts’ jungkook and s.iren’s nova, reveals that they are dating

  you’d been in the big hit company building countless of times over the years, but would have never imagined yourself sitting in their board room with their most senior executives. to make matters worse, several high-ranking representatives from your company sat in the same room, including your ceo and your own manager. at the head of the table were you and jungkook, both stone-faced and unable to look at each other. 

  entering the room, you considered yourself all alone. your manager was pissed off at you. your group mates hadn’t spoken to you since the news broke, except for sooah. she only warned you to make sure that nobody knew you were high when it happened. the last thing the group needed was an additional scandal where their main vocalist gets sentenced to prison for possession. and, of course, you now had no boyfriend. there was nobody there for you.

  “they’ve been building evidence for a long time now, clearly.”

  to make matters more humiliating, the company executives were broadcasting the dispatch article on the big screen in front of everyone. the head of public relations, mr. lee, swiped through each photo released like a slideshow.

  the first picture was you and jungkook outside of your building complex. another was a sneaky shot that barely captured you and jungkook in the same taxi. it went on and on, until the last photo that depicted you and jungkook standing in front of hotel azure, which was less than twenty-four hours ago at this point. 

  after escaping the party and jungkook, you spent the rest of your night crying and throwing up at home. it was late when you left and you knew you couldn’t sleep a wink after what transpired. you tried your very best and it was seven in the morning when you thought your eyes were finally closing, until your phone began blowing up. 

  at first, it was just your manager and you didn’t want to hear about how she found out that you were partying late again. then, not even an hour after, your social media began blowing up with notifications. 

  i was trying to warn you, the last text from your manager read. you realized what she was talking about, as dispatch probably gave the “courtesy” to inform the company before the article went out. 

  you thought about your group members, feeling nothing but guilt. you saw what happened to other female idols, whose dating scandals tarnished their “sisterhood” with their members forever. you were terrified of that happening to you.

  now, you sat in this suffocating board room, still hungover, and your entire future at stake. the only thing you felt regretful about was not just the impact of your choices on both your group members, but the rest of jungkook’s. they were one of the, if not the, most popular groups in the country.

  while the room went over the pictures that were released, you were silent. you long understood the consequences of the relationship and accepted the risk. when the scandal actually broke, though, the fear you felt was unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. on the other hand, jungkook was only apologizing profusely and was in tears. you didn’t realize it until then, but there were also streams of tears running down your face. 

  you weren’t sure what the main reason for your tears were. something told you that you’d yet to process the grief of jungkook’s betrayal because sitting next to him felt numb. last night, only anger settled underneath your skin. now, being inches away from the man you called your best friend and partner for years, you felt nothing. it was almost an out-of-body experience. 

  the only way to not replay every single moment he was with her and not you, was to repress the grief. you pretended like it was invisible and out of reach. with that, you figured the tears were for the innocent third parties that were going to be dragged down by the scandal - the executives in the room, jungkook’s group, your group, all of them.

  “quit crying! we have no choice, there’s too much evidence - we must publicly confirm the relationship.”

  you took a deep breath. right now, you had yet to actually tell anyone that you and jungkook were no longer together. a part of you was too embarrassed to admit that you were cheated on. you also figured that word from the scene at the rooftop party likely already spread throughout social circles. you decided to swallow it down and finally say it aloud.

  this was the first time that you spoke up. “but,” you started, “jungkook and i. . .we broke up last night.”

  the last thing you expected was a round of laughter. you thought you were imagining it, but when you looked up, the board members were indeed doing so. you were suffering enough, but now you were getting laughed at. your fists were balled up underneath the table.

  “are you kidding me?” mr. lee said. “i don’t care. years ago, you and jungkook agreed that, should your relationship be exposed, you would face the repercussions of its reception.”

  “mr. lee - “ jungkook started, but was hushed by his company executives.

  when mr. lee tapped on his laptop again and cut to the comments section of the article, you thought you would see hate comments. death threats, even. but, you were stunned to face waves of positivity. 

  the tone he used, though, was devoid of any. “oh, i love this couple so much,” mr. lee began reading the comments in a monotone voice that only made the situation feel even more of a joke. “wah. they. are. such. a. beautiful. couple. i’m not even mad.”

  you swore your eyes were deceiving you. stealing your first glance at jungkook since walking into the room, he, too, was shocked and his jaw hung low. 

  “talk about a power couple, congratulations! here, someone said: hope this is true, nova is luckiest girl in the world - love this. then, a bunch of good luck’s, and blah, blah, blah.”

  there was a wave of anger when most of the comments called you the lucky one and not once the other way around.

  regardless, the reception of international fans was generally uplifting, which was no surprise to you. what really got to you was that it didn’t stop there - the screen scrolled past dozens and dozens of korean comments that exemplified full support towards the relationship. this was a true mark of positive reception, as they were the fans you feared the most.

  as the years went on and jungkook rose in popularity, you became increasingly nervous about your relationship. you watched so many of your peers receive horrible backlash from fans after being exposed for dating, especially the women. being a female in the industry was hard enough and you weren’t sure if you were going to be one of the strong ones in this situation. 

  “so that your fans don’t feel ‘betrayed’, we are going to let the media know that you have been dating for a few months - don’t even think about telling people that you’ve been together since 2013,” mr. lee announced, which snapped you back to the conversation.

  you dared to speak again. “mr. lee, jungkook and i have broken up,” you reiterated, wondering if nobody heard you the first time.

  he rolled his eyes. “i understand. do you also understand that this reaction is basically unheard of? have you noticed that you’ve gained almost a million followers on instagram?”

  this time, it was the public relations representative from big hit that cleared her throat and stood up. she joined mr. lee in front of the board members, who began murmuring in approval amongst themselves.

  “jungkook. y/n. as you know, the love yourself world tour was just announced. s.irens is also preparing for a major comeback and potential tour. this relationship,” she said, “will be used to accelerate the successes of both of your groups.”

  a chart appeared on the screen. it showed data from the last twenty-four hours, including both group’s increase in social media numbers, streams, and search engine hits. 

  “consider it an exchange for breaching your no-dating clause five years ago. until further notice, this relationship, at least in the eyes of the public, will remain.”

  this had to be a joke. however, you remembered what you and jungkook were. you were idols. you were puppets of the machine that was the korean entertainment industry. chess pieces. no matter how rich or famous either of you got, it all boiled down to this. 

  the fame game was one that was never won.

  jungkook said, slowly, “you’re asking us to date. . .as a publicity stunt?”

  at this, you had no choice. a few individuals in the room, including jungkook, jumped when you shot up from your seat. you rose in order to bow at a ninety degree angle in front of all the senior executives, ignoring how sick you were to your stomach.

  “please,” you began, eyes squeezed shut. “i want nothing to do with jeon jungkook.”

  of course, the decision was already made and your pleas were dismissed. however, you didn’t see the way jungkook watched you beg your company to not force you in a relationship with a man you no longer loved. his mouth went dry and there’d never been such a moment in his life where he hated himself more. he did this. he pushed you to this point and he betrayed you.

  from that moment on, jungkook saw this as an opportunity. he destroyed everything that you and he had ever built. now, the only thing he ever sought from this point on, was redemption.

  even though your companies informed you two that you could publicly “breakup” following a year post-dispatch release, jeon jungkook never lost sight of the redemption he sought. they wanted you to be the so-called it couple of the industry and he decided he would do them one better and make it real. for the next year, jungkook would do everything in his power to win you back.

  LATEST NEWS: bts’ jungkook and s.irens’ nova confirms their relationship! read more about big hit’s response: “they met as friends and the connection blossomed from there”

  𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. for clarity purposes (because i feel like the non-chronological format may get confusing), y/n and jungkook get back together during this publicity stunt and are 100% for real dating in chapter 1. the publicity stunt arc is covered in chapters 6-8, as the next chapter focuses on why/how their relationship began breaking down before the hotel azure incident.

[darklinaforever]

It's crazy how people can reject the very heart of the film Nosferatu 2024. Named the relationship between Ellen & Orlok.

Note that no one among the Orlok & Ellen fans denies that she loves Thomas, at least, I have never seen any fans of Orlok & Ellen claim otherwise.

Simply, we also integrate the fact that she has sexual desire for Orlok (because she is sexually frustrated with Thomas) and also a deeper connection than that with him on an aspect of her that only he can understand.

So why do I see people (more precisely fans of Ellen & Thomas ship) trying to deny any shared relationship between Ellen & Orlok, if not an abusive aspect of Orlok on Ellen (which exists, I don't deny it, and it's part of why we like this relationship, the toxicity, but it's not just that between the characters) ?

That she just hate him because she said to him ? As if in movies the dialogue and actions can't differ ? As if someone can't both hate and love someone ? You must be really boring not to understand that.

I can find tons of examples in fiction of characters who say they hate each other but love each other / have feelings for each other. Worse, saying it before a passionate kiss or even during sex. In cinema, it's mostly what happens on screen that matters, even if the dialogues have a certain importance and must be well done, they are not really the main attraction.

At the limit, people will recognize the erotic aspect between the vampire and the girl, but nothing more, refusing the aspect of connection that we are talking about.

And again, either some will accept that Ellen desires Orlok, but others will say that it is only a desire resulting from Orlok's manipulation thanks to his powers.

(Because apparently it's impossible to experience a sexual awakening with a monster in fiction ? Christine Daee had no problem experiencing her sexual awakening without magic involved thanks to Erik who nevertheless looked like a living corpse from what I remember...)

Some also try to say that the erotic aspect of the vampire exists but only between Orlok and Thomas. Seriously, wtf ?

(Even if yes, we can say that there is a form of tension between Orlok and Thomas but it is clearly not central to the story or very important)

And for some, Ellen would only be a form of Thomas by proxy for Orlok. Ridiculous.

(Especially since it would be the opposite logically, namely that Orlok has a tension with Thomas because he is linked to Ellen that Orlok wants)

And that Ellen on her side would have an ambiguity romantic and sexual with Anna only and not Orlok. Because I imagine that it is more tolerable that Ellen loves her husband and has ambiguous feelings for a woman rather than these two and the vampire that is Orlok in addition ?

People constantly try to belittle the Orlok & Ellen relationship.

While the film is very clear.

Not only is it a relationship based on eroticism but also on a deeper connection linked to the darkness in Ellen, an aspect of her that only Orlok can understand, and some romantic undertones between the two characters.

Seriously, in the interviews we talk about a love triangle. Of the vampire in love with Ellen. Of a sexual awakening (contradicting the idea that some fans have that Orlok forces this sexual desire in a "magical" way in Ellen) and of a love between a girl and a demon. Not to mention the take on inspiration from Death and the Maiden, the Beauty and the Beast and Wuthering Heights ! But yeah... nothing romantic between the girl and the monster at all here...

Anyway, it's always the same fucking story when there's a ship with a villain and a heroine... Just impressed by how quickly detractors of a fictional relationship can come forward. 🙄

[403tarot]

[READING] choi san X anonymous in bed NSFW

» reading with a querent of mine. +1k words. based on tarot. MDNI

starting right away with the strength card, the first energy that comes strong in the general column of the game is one of sex with a lot of lust, a lot of touch and squeezes, him grabbing you by the waist and hips practically in a possessive way but also enjoying holding you by the arm, pulling you close to him and you both staying with your bodies pressed together, sharing breath. he would hold you tightly, firmly, with a lot of emphasis on how much you would enjoy that firmness.

the interest in BDSM [context: querent enjoys it a lot] would be customary and is represented by the death card. surprisingly, in this aspect, i see you guiding what you would do; the ideas outside of vanilla would generally be yours. there are no dom/sub undertones but it would be something somewhat silent where you are the one who decides things and he would be more than happy to comply with whatever you want, after all, he is kind of a slut, he would be happy just to be with you.

san naturally has a romantic way, with many touches and caresses, he is a caring guy. he would lose his bad boy pose very easily and yes, he would become docile (until page two). very vocal, he would put on a show with moans, facial expressions (especially sighing, closing his eyes, biting his lip). he is quite exhibitionist and is thirsty for praise; he would want you to explicitly desire him, compliment his body, hear that you go crazy just looking at him. he would like to unbalance you with the way he looks.

In this same line of displaying your own body, you would also frequently be feeling very confident here, especially with beautiful clothes (costumes?, leather?, latex?), lingerie, but i believe that most of the time you wouldn't wear any of that because you wouldn't need those things if you didn't want to, since you would drive the san crazy anyway...even wearing an old shirt, panties, and colorful socks, he wouldn't care.

including...his sex drive would be high. even though you have quite an active sex life even with tight schedules, even during times of the day when you are not together, san would miss you, think about you, want you... touches, kisses, and sex would also be languages of love for him.

and delving a little deeper into san's persona here, he would like to try pushing himself to the limit, playing characters/different personalities, playing games, everything you proposed and were into, he would at least consider, so he would want to do new things even if the idea didn't appeal to him that much... since he is a curious guy who would want to please you. as for you, i see that you would like a bit of intrigue, a clash, not giving san what he wants, to keep him wanting, desiring and in the palm of your hand.

meanwhile, you continue more on the path of edging and thus a good part of the best dynamic between you would consist of you leaving san sensitive and frustrated. being emotionally involved at the level he would be with you would leave him practically very vulnerable to being touch-starved. even so… san would like to be teased and mistreated, to be left wanting more, challenging himself.

you would have a lot of fun leaving him completely frustrated, you could torture him for a considerable amount of time but wouldn't go beyond the moment he started crying out of desire and with his cock aching from being so hard...there's no physical restriction or aggression, just you playing with his mind. and yes, it wouldn't be difficult or take long to happen; he would get needy easily, when his dick is in the equation he's the type who gets pretty dumb. anyway, seeing him in that state would be cute for you, so you'd give him what he wants.

one of san's biggest fetishes would definitely be oral sex, i think it always comes up in most readings about him for me... he really likes pussy. this desire comes both from receiving and giving, a 69 could even happen from time to time but i feel that he generally prefers to focus on one thing at a time. as for oral, we have no complaints from your side, he would eat you out in such a delicious way. on your part, there could be a certain fetish in making him cum on some parts of your body, like your boobs or even your face...overall, i think you would like to see him cumming, making a mess, seeing him trembling his thighs.

san also would really like that you would be very open to doing all kinds of things, both of you would have space to do what you want in bed so that both of you could feel pleasure together

the real energy of sex is quite... wet, the kind that even makes audible noise. sweat, bodily fluids in general, a lot of drool too. actually, you would really like the way he would fuck you, you'd fall in love with his cock, there's no other way to put it. he would indeed know how to do it, to please you, and not just in behavior but in the way he would actually fuck you, so dedicated to pleasing you and giving you the best cock you'd ever have that he would almost do it effortlessly.

[...]

san would enjoy a kind of petplay dynamics; it wouldn't be one of his biggest kinks with you but he would like it a lot, it's a dynamic that could excite him. he would prefer that you were the little pet and that he was in control of you, being the owner... but don't be mistaken, there's nothing like being "dominant" or anything like that here, he would just want to be in the position of being responsible for you in this thing of you being his little pet. he would be very affectionate with you in this dynamic, petting you, kissing you, stroking your thighs, but dude... you would probably be a dog or something like that, it's what i think he likes the most and yes... kind of explicitly a dog, sitting on his lap, even at his feet (something he would like, looking down at you while you're on your knees). a collar could happen too but i don't see that happening much, actually i don't see many accessories on you.

i don't feel like it would be something regular, but more like something he would want to do a little before you guys have sex, it would make him really hard. even so, it would be an event for you to do that (rarely), he might feel a bit embarrassed/unsure about asking you to do it, he would prefer that you offered or started something like that.

[...]

fluffy questions with san • NSFW Q&A with san & hongjoong

» you can get a reading with san for yourself here

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Hi! I found you from your tdov post, and your transition is just amazing. I'm sorry if this has been asked before, but do you have any advice for someone scared of transitioning? Scared of the change... In all aspects. I've wanted to take T for so long (10+ years) and now I finally have the chance, but for some reason I'm scared now. Thank you so much in advance!

It is OK to be scared at the thought of transition, even if you're sure you want to go through it.

You may find it helpful to journal some thoughts -- are you afraid of the negative physical side effects (and what is "negative" to you, anyway)? Could transition make you feel disconnected from your body? Like you are losing something? Are there physical aspects of masculinity that make you feel uncomfortable? Are you worried about impact on your mood/libido/how you process emotions?

A lot of testosterone effects revert back after usage stops. Some effects are permanent. Learn what your likely changes are, and what steps you could take to revert them, should this not be the path you wish to take. Trans femmes and ally detransitioners are people to look to here.

Are you more afraid of what would happen in your work and personal life? Are there deal breakers? What's the worst that could happen?

But as you do all of this, also ask yourself, "what is the best that could happen?" What are the big and small joys transition can bring?

A friend of mine once literally made an HRT pros/cons spreadsheet, it was a thing of beauty.

Only you can decide if HRT is right for you. But if you start, you can also decide to stop and it isn't the end of the world if you do -- it just means you explored a part of yourself pretty well and came to a conclusion HRT wasn't a good fit at this time in your life. Could be a good fit later. Might never be a good fit.

I evaluate my own transition constantly: For example, I have a wonky post-surgery chest -- is that stopping me from being shirtless around my partner, who loves me for who I am? ("Yes," I found out. And I am trying to be more casually shirtless so that doesn't get in the way when we want to be intimate. I am just not used to that physical sense of vulnerability + having my transition imperfections so visible.) But am I happier overall, despite some challenges? HELL YES, I AM.

We never stop growing as people, and you should think of transition as not having a set path -- you can engage with it and redefine it whenever you want.

[ooooo-mcyt]

Anyways, I talk enough about Scott's problems- his trauma, compulsions, and self destructive behavior- but it's also worth talking about the other side of things.

Scott is someone who crafts his own joy out of the worst situations, who sews a silver lining into the threads of fate, who pictures fields of flowers every time he closes his eyes, and who has only ever wanted safety and happiness for himself and his friends.

This isn't always 'good' for him. I've talked at great lengths about how Scott's 'selflessness' takes the form of repression and his his 'optimism' shows skewed priorities and often covers up harmful compulsive behavior.

But none of this erases the underlying beauty and warmth of Scott's worldview and personality either. The world needs people who care, people who don't give up on others, people who care about being good even in the bleakest circumstances.

And Scott is a good person who makes other people's lives better. He's fun, and generous, and bold, he makes people feel special because they are special to him, and he always finds some reason things will work out, some excuse to laugh about something, some path to drag himself through the brambles surrounding him and drag his friends with him (he won't let them go), even when things seem hopeless or pointless.

(with very few exceptions- though even when he gives in to hopelessness to some extent in his series', it's never really permanent, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, even if a warped one. in both third life and- if we're looking at other series besides the life series- empires season one he got his 'happy endings' in death, because nothing's ever lost forever within scott's narratives, and in witchcraft smp he didn't even have to die to find that light, he, even at his worst, most bleak and hopeless, clawed his way into reigniting that light and love and hope in his life, and it worked)

Scott's designation of embodying the stars isn't unearned- a bright hopeful guiding light that even millions of miles of distance and the inky black of the universe can't choke out, reminding you that there's a way back to shore.

I wish Scott would be kinder to himself. I wish Scott would let himself have 'selfish' desires. I wish Scott didn't dehumanize himself. But I don't want my discussion of these aspects of him to dull or confuse the parts of him that are genuinely admirable and indispensably good.

[astrologydayz]

ASTRO EVERYTHING NOTES💘

Planets/asteroids/points aspecting Vertex = 3°ORB MAX, unless it’s a minor aspect, then it’s 2🩷!

VERTEX is fate. In SYNASTRY = whatever that's conjunct your Vertex, will be brought2yo ass by that person! Either by being with them, or just by knowing them. No matter what. If it's something "good", amazing!! If it's something like Chiron?? U Betta run, and u betta run fast🗣. Watch out for Medea - 212 in synastry!!! This asteroid is about EXTREME REVENGE!!!🩸

If you're a woman, and another woman is jealous of u/hates on u in public or in "secret"= check out if their BML is conjunct something in your chart!!! It's something I've seen4years. BML aspects are prominent in a synastry chart with a woman who's jealous of u/hates on u/"fake friend". Which is not surprising, actually. BML Is also where u feel the most "left out"/"exiled"2. So it makes sense, that you'll feel jealous of a woman who has all of those things u never had/Will have. just her living nice, & comfortable with whatever it is you're struggling with/struggling2get. Let's say someones BML is conjunct your Venus = they'll be jealous of your lovers, relationships/material things u own/your money/your art - if your job is Venus related - singing/modelling/dancing/working with beautiful things - Venus work)/because of the love u give out/or because YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!! Always look at house/s/sign/s & both natal charts!! That will reveal everything!😘

WOMEN with Mars conjunct/square/quincunx BML usually get a lot of hate from men, because they won't put up with shit! Men are intimidated, but sexually attracted 2 them because of the "I don't give a fuck, I'll say&do what I want attitude"💋. They can also have a lot of pent up rage, when it comes 2 men and their experiences with them. Men can have "used, &abused" them. Many men won't have the guts 2 go for her, hell, they can’t even look her in the eyes 4too long. And she's completely fine with that. She c those men as weak, anyway.

MEN with Venus conjunct/trine/quintile Jupiter. Can get a lot of sexual attraction from women!!! They’re talented when it comes 2 gaining female attraction - and they know it. They naturally excude this magical appeal, that women can’t stand for.

MEN with Moon conjunct Chiron have a very deep scar, when it comes 2 their mom. Their mom was highly likely not really “there" 4 them as a child, especially emotionally. Their mom usually also had to take care of someone else/or something else. They didn't get the mothering love&care they needed from her, so now they go around with, let's call it a 'grudge" towards women. They want to hurt women/their partners, like they've been hurt. & the next problem is that it's all in the back of their subconscious, they're not even "really aware of it". So Until they acknowledge their pain&hurt = They'll keep on projecting their mommy issues onto their partner&keep on hurting themselves❤️‍🩹.

Venus conjunct/trine South Node in SYNASTRY = lovers/married in a past life! They have karmic lessons that needs taken care of, look at house/s, sign/s & both natal charts! Borderline physical attraction between them, &deep deep love&appreciation4each other. SN is typically the one 2 recognise Venus 1st! Venus is usually also South Nodes ideal type. South Node 2 Venus - “I’ve been looking for you for way too long", “we belong together, you and I”, "we're soulmates, I just know it”. Mars conjunct/trine South Node in SYNASTRY = sexual partners from a past life! That's why they're so comfortable with doing sexual things together in this life, when they finally get into it👅. SN knows EXACTLY how the Mars person's body should be devoured/touched. SN is instantly attracted 2 Mars! Karmic lessons here2!!! Look at house/s, sign/s & both natal charts 2 see what kinds of lessons. South Node loveeees the Mars persons body2!! Kinda ideal. And again, South Node is typically the one that recognises their partner 1st - "your touch feels familiar"🫦.

Venus conjunct/trine/quintile Black Moon Lilith In SYNASTRY = crazy sexual attraction because of their intense differences. They can be from two different countries/or one could also "have it all", and the other one? Not so much. It can also show a secret, passionate love affair, between two married people🔞. Or one is married, & the other one isn't. Venus can get obsessed with Lilith pretty quickly - Wanting 2know everything, nothing left out. Venus NEEDS 2 be with Lilith, A LOT. Which is a little dangerous, as Lilith is free & doesn't like it when people try2 control her.

Jupiter conjunct/trine/sextile/quintile Vertex in a NATAL CHART can show fated fame/success! Either material, or spiritual success✨🍀💚.

Neptune trine/sextile/quintile Vertex in a NATAL CHART = a bohemian kind of lifestyle, never really "settling down in one place". & they'll have fated meetings with artistic/creative, or spiritual souls throughout their journey, who will help them achieve their dreams!!!💙

WOMEN with Black Moon Lilith conjunct their Vertex will be put in a lot of "Lilith situations". Like them being in situations where they feel abandoned/alone/ - them being the other woman - getting hated on because of it/being sexualised a lot by men/men testing their boundaries/fighting for their rights - won't bow down2anyone/people trying to undermine them. Most of the time, these women won't put up with anyone trying2 tell them anything. They're independent, &have no problem with being alone💋.

Your ASC in synastry is what u immediately think about someone!!! If your Lust asteroid - 4386 is conjunct someone's ASC = they would have hard time controlling themselves around u/wants 2 rip your clothes off, A LOT. NOT the other way around. IT'S THEIR 1ST HOUSE, NOT YOURS BABE😘. It's something that's always "in your face", 4the ASC person. Venus conjunct ASC IN SYNASTRY = ASC person will find the Venus person beautiful af/VERY physical attractive, as I wrote! "beautiful painting", "are you even real?", "you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen", things like that! Mars conjunct ASC IN SYNASTRY = ASC person is REEEEEAAALLLYYYY sexually attracted 2 Mars persons body/physical looks😽. Sexual chemistry, can be crazy here🫦.

Eros - 433 conjunct ASC in SYNASTRY = Asc person is sexually attracted2 Eros person from first meeting👅 - "Can't keep their hands 2themselves"🔞.

THANKS4READING BEAUTIFUL!!! I APPRECIATE U& Wouldn't do this without you🖤.

[neuvistar]

Ass, tits or thighs for loucha and welt

You can choose other hsr men

Fluff of nsfw you pick

ASS, TITS OR THIGHS?

— featuring ┊ luocha, welt, jing yuan, blade, gepard x fem!reader (all separate)

— warnings / content warnings ┊ a lil short i think?? uh not proofread, tiny bit of titplay, mentions of thigh fucking??, slight body worship me thinks, mentions of face sitting, use of nicknames, nothing extreme just suggestive of implied suggestive themes! || 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

— a/n ┊good question, let’s decide this once n for all ! hope u enjoyed this i had fun sm fun writing it tbh ++ i loved writing jing yuan’s part its so cute 2 me

LUOCHA lowkey seems like a thigh man, blud doesn’t care how big or how small he just wants you to crush him with your thighs. i mean come on i’m sure he probably likes the feeling of his hands trailing down your hips then to your thighs, giving them a nice squeeze while he’s at it. he seems like he’d enjoy times where you would thigh highs, thanking the aeons above for this lovely gift and beautiful sight. ++ when you do wear it jesus fuck his hands r always on your thighs, gently sliding two fingers in your black thigh highs you wore that day, pretty eyes gazing at yours to see your reaction.

maybe if he’s feeling a lil silly he’d slide his fingers inside you too, bonus points for that skull emoji idk man this goof just seems and LOOKS like a thigh man, i’m sure he’s a big fan of face sitting too since he’d love how your thighs cage around his head, holding them firmly as he eats you out like there’s no tomorrow. he just wants to get crushed by your thighs, i’m sure he’s someone that stays true to his word as well, “death by thighs is the way of a warrior” is what he believes. luocha just wants to savour the feeling of your thighs around his head, oh yeah his favourite place to kiss you is probably your thighs, surprise surprise!! that man has a huge thing for your thighs you don’t even know why, always complimenting you how beautiful they look too, you don’t mind though. but anyways, he loves kissing your thighs, such a sweetheart isn’t he?

WELT is expiring bruh one thrust n that fucker is already fading into thin air but itz ok cuz i like em expired (NAHH IM SO SORRY) but anyways he’s an ass man, i���m sure of it. that brunette loves ass more than you think, he’s a sucker for that fatty i know it, look me in the eyes n tell me he isn’t an ass man cuz he is n no one’s gonna convince me he’s not i don’t wanna hear it /j but back to business yeah he seems like an ass man, i think bro’s vv cool with it too like if you asked him “ass tits or thighs” he would give you a full description on why he prefers ass out of everyone of them, whenever you two make love i like to think that he prefers it if you take it from the back. why? well lemme tell you

he likes it whenever you take it from the back cuz he gets full view of your back and most importantly your ass, the way his hips snap against yours, hypnotized by the way your ass looks, giving it a lil squeeze too. oh yeah he’s probably the type to give ur ass little taps, like gentle ones but it isn’t perverted in anyway it’s just to get you moving, and maybe to also get a reaction out of you but yes no more explanation this manz is crazy for ass he would get hard at the sight of you in some tight clothing that makes your ass look nice wink wink. this goof probably snuck a lil glance at your ass when you were bending over one time, grabbing a pencil. let’s jus say, he got hard! cmon he just loves ass, he loves it sm bros probably fascinated over the jiggle physics of your ass or sumn cause gahhh dahum

JING YUAN i think he’d be vv sweet about these sort of things, he wouldn’t rlly separate things into things he liked or didn’t like, he loved everything about you. jing yuan would find you perfect in his eyes, he found you rather beautiful in every aspect, an alluring attraction he could not simply look away from, but he cared not for your body, for your beauty was the least of your features n it was everything else about you that he found the most attractive. beyond compare and without fault. but in all truthfulness, he loves titties stfu i’m not gonna argue with anyone else he’s a tit man and that’s final, it’s true it’s confirmed by me he’s apart of the tittie lover committee. but honestly, like i said he’d find every aspect of you beautiful (he’s a tit man trust he’s just in denial)

he would be so so sweet :( if u ever asked him what he liked abt u (ass tits n thighs yk) he would simply let out a deep sigh and kiss your forehead,

“why do you care so deeply about my opinion on your body?" jing yuan asked softly with a soft shake of his head. "does my opinion mean that much to you? i think you are a rather beautiful woman. that’s all, nothing more, nothing less. i do not look at you like a prize or a toy, my dove, for you mean more to me than your appearance. but since you are so concerned, i will say it. you are extremely beautiful in my eyes, i love everything about you. every part of your body, your facial features, your personality, everything. there’s nothing i can pin point, because i love everything about you, beautiful.” (he still loves ur tits though)

BLADE is indecisive with this sort of thing me thinks.. he’d choose all three but if you ask him why he did, honestly he’d pull up some shit like “because i desire them all and i get what i desire” or sum shit like that, he’s just a lil indecisive guys. but jokes aside, he would prefer your tits. he’s probably a tit man in my eyes! there’s just something about your titties that makes him stop and think about the decisions he made in life. the first time you guys got busy (if you know what i mean) blud would get all red for the first time asking if he could touch your breasts, and that special day.. he fell in love with the feeling of his hands engulfing your tits, the softness of your flesh was intoxicating to him almost.

he probably doesn’t care about size either, he just loves how his large hands engulf your tits as a whole, he loves the little whimpers you let out when he plays with your hardened nipples, twisting it gently as he feels your body jolt against his, pressing himself even closer against you. blade loves you and your body, he just can’t get enough of you because you’re so beautiful to him, he’s one lucky man to have someone like you. he’s probably into titfucking too, the thought of it makes me curl my toes tbh. he probably slides his dick in between the softness of your breasts, a moaning mess as he threw his head back, enjoying the feeling of your boobs around his cock. bonus points if he came on your tits afterwards, he fell more and more in love with you and your titties. he would probably cum on your tits like 99% of the time whenever you guys would have sex, you would scold him sometimes but cmon he can’t help it. he loves how pretty your tits look covered with his cum.

GEPARD last but not least the babygirl ever, most the babygirl of the babygirls, he would probably prefer ass ++ thighs over anything else. he tries to push these kind of thoughts away but he knows he can’t escape them when you’re right there all dolled up and pretty for him. gepard would blush seeing you in a short skirt, bonus points if you wore thigh highs or black tights along with it. i like to think tgat he would feel ashamed of himself for thinking such things about you, taking a quick glance of your thighs whenever you both use the stairs, seeing how your skirt would move a bit. jesus he didn’t even know you had allat back there, but you did. bless your parents. but honestly i don’t think he’d care about the size either, he just loves how soft they feel against his palm, huge fan of you taking it from the back too.

gepard is probably into thigh fucking too, grabbing your thighs and ripping your black tights, positioning himself in between them as he slides himself between the heat of your inner thighs, his dick also rubbing against your pussy too more bonus points for that. he would savour and take in the feeling of your thighs against his cock, loving how warm you felt around him. he’s such a huge sucker for that fattie n huge sucker for them neck crushers, if you sat on his face and broke his neck he would probably blame himself for being too weak to handle you like he should, speaking of that he loves it whenever you sat on his face, like i said no matter the side he’s diving into that pussy like it’s the pacific ocean, he doesn’t give two fucks if you’re too heavy your pussy is the ocean he’s gonna dive in 2nite (he’s practically asking u to break his neck atp skull emoji)

[ushouldwatchhaikyuu]

Could you make headcanons abt a confident!chubby!poc!reader. Like when i search up haikyui x chubby reader all i get are hurt comfort stories about being insecure, and like everyone gets insecure but it gets to the point where people think everyone who isnt built like a coke bottle hates themselves 🙄. AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE ONES MADE FOR POC!!! Cause why are they all so stereotypical?! Like just because im black doesn’t mean im sexy redds clone😭🙏🏽.

Anyways back to the main plot🤭. I was thinking like reader with a style that has y2k/mcbling aspects (lowrise jeans, crop tops, chunky jewlery, etc) and is super bubbly. And back to he chubby thing, like ok. When i read x chubby readers, its always like fat ass and a lil bit of tummy, which is fine cause some people are built like that but not a lot🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️. Like i have thighs, big boobs(pray for my spine🫡🙏🏽😭) and tummy, but I also have hipdips that dig into my butt bro. So like yea🧍🏽‍♀️. Haikyuu headcanons (you can pick the characters you think will fit🫶🏽) x confident!chubby!poc! reader

(i apologize for the yap session i have lots of opinions on this topic)

Chubby!POC!Reader x Haikyuu Headcanons

ft: literally like half the team members of all the main teams

warnings: cussing

oh pal dw about it lmfao i get what u mean!! i hope these hcs satiate ur cravings 👍

since u didn't ask for any specific characters i just came up with a few hcs that i think could apply to multiple characters lol

credits: divider .

He lowkey likes it when people look at his partner and assume he can't carry them, but then he just goes "oh yeah? lemme just-" *picks u up and puts u on his shoulder without a single hint of struggling* 👍

Ushijima, Bokuto, Kuroo, Atsumu, Sakusa, Iwaizumi (but he wouldn't say it outloud lmao).

Can't pick you up? No problem, they wanna be the ones getting picked up anyways.

Yachi, Yamaguchi, Kenma, Tendou (u cant convince me he doesnt like getting picked up)

Can't pick you up? unacceptable. They're begging your forgiveness and spending hours at the gym until they can do it. Just give them a few months.

Nishinoya, Hinata, Hoshiumi, Kageyama, Terushima, Levi.

Became an absolute pro at finding your exact foundation shade. Like, has your exact match pinned down. Could just look at a foundation color and go "yeah that's their shade". Some may think it's a bit weird, but honestly it's so helpful sometimes.

Ushijima's autistic ass, Tsukishima, Sugawara, Asahi, Yachi, Sakusa and Osamu maybe?

Gets so excited over fashion, makeup, jewelry and all that stuff. Goes shopping/thrifting with you, pays for your nails and is very enthusiastic whenever you ask for their opinion on your outfits. Also lets you give them makeovers sometimes. They will absolutely serve cunt if you ask them to.

Hinata, Nishinoya, Atsumu, Yamaguchi, Tendou, Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa, Yachi, maybe Levi lmao. Hot take but Ushijima would absolutely do it too.

Does encourage your passions and interest and stuff but their sense of fashion is that of a rock. If rocks wore crocs with socks. Still go shopping with u tho and they make up for their lack of advice by paying for all ur stuff. They spoil u so fricking much.

Tsukishima, Kageyama, Akaashi, Iwaizumi, Suna, Daichi, Sakusa, Ennoshita, Kenma.

Paints/writes/does photography and will make the most beautiful jaw dropping mouth watering gorgeous absolutely stunning works of art portraying you in such a beautifully realistic way. They get your colors and shapes and curves so perfectly well, it's incredible– it shows just how much attention they pay to every little detail about you, and how much they love all of it.

Daichi, Asahi, Ushijima, Osamu, Ennoshita, Sakusa, Yamaguchi, Yachi, maybe Kageyama.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

RAHH HELLO! just wanted to preface by saying I love the way you characterize everyone in your writing; everything on my dash that I've read genuinely seems like it came straight from the game and it's so very, very impressive that you understand the characters well enough to extrapolate actions and dialogue to this degree. Because I'm sick of Diasomnia (/j /sarcasm. I love them, but two irl years for this book has me up the wall rn), i've been microwaving Book 5 in my brain, and I have sooo many thoughts about how Epel was handled, and I was curious if you have any particularly strong opinions on it. After the motorbike-beach scene, Epel just sort of. Does a 180 and fully accepts Vil's position that being effeminate and cute/overall beauty as a strength-- which I think you've touched on in a post-- and it baffles me that it's so one-and-done, especially considering the writers seems to be pretty good at conveying that change is a slow, and gradual process that, for most of the game, happens behind the scenes. For a hot second, I thought it was because Epel wasn't the overblotter, and therefore, wasn't the main focus and could hypothetically get away with such a sudden revelation being swept under the rug, but when Kalim and Jamil are right there, still working through the effects of their book, the reasoning kind of falls flat.

Anyways, yeah-- apologies for yammering (I hope my brain alphabet soup makes sense) -- have a wonderful day :D

Hello, hello ^^ and thank you for the compliments on my characterization!! bdavvwkskdk I’m quite proud of that aspect of my craft 👉 👈 😳 If you’d like to hear more about how I write dialogue, I talked about it in this post!

It’s about to be 2 years and 10 months of book 7… Can you believe that—

Yes, I’ve previously expressed that I think Epel’s character growth in book 5 + acceptance of Vil’s teachings happens much too quickly. It’s basically a flip of the switch after the beach scene, which is VERY weird considering that 1) these outdated gender stereotypes have been ingrained in Epel for 16 years of his life; they shouldn’t be easily changed and 2) most other character arcs in Twst take place over much longer stretches of time and in ways far subtler than this. Like??? He comes back from the beach and suddenly he’s apologizing to Vil and acknowledging the “power of beauty”??? Even offering to take Vil’s place in their performance after the OB??? Almost proudly claiming that he has “grown way stronger and more charming”??? That’s such a fast turnaround after like six months of being at NRC and being largely against Vil’s ideology.

I think the writers’ intention was to show how Epel’s mindset has changed in book 5 so that it leads into and fuels the eventual development of his UM in book 6. Pre-book 5 Epel would have never developed a more passive and protective spell like Sleep Kiss (Crimson Slumber in EN)?? And then if you look even farther ahead at book 7, Epel has to be comfortable enough with his gender identity to get up on that VDC/SDC stage and sing and dance his heart out to wake up Rook. I should also note that Epel’s dream segment ties for the shortest at a measly 4 parts, which… seems to imply he truly has taken Vil’s values to heart???? Because the muscular version of Epel we see is implied to be a shallow depiction of his desires and we even see his dream!Vil praise him for his beauty in order to placate Epel and lure him back to sleep.

So yeah 💀 Epel’s development definitely feels… rushed to me. It’s part of why I don’t find his character compelling. I get why the writers tried to write him the way they did though; they obviously wanted his growth to happen now to set up for the pay-off that would happen in books 6 + 7, and those pay-offs might not be “earned” if Epel didn’t have his arc beforehand. I think there are better ways they could have done this, though… Book 6 is so long. Surely there was room somewhere in there to have Epel’s development to continue, particularly in the segments where he was traveling with Rook or exploring the depths with his Pomefiore senpai. Book 5 could have also been written in a manner so it feels less like Epel’s total acceptance of Vil’s beliefs and more like him beginning to consider them. The development should have been more evenly distributed and stretched out over the course of books 5 and 6, not all crammed into 5.

[justporo]

my queen. ur sfw alphabet for astarion....it was so good. so amazingly good. grrrrrRUFF!!! GRAAAAFPBRRRR!!!!!! anyways.....would you....be able.......to make......an nsfw alphabet 👀

Oh my sweet Anon, how could I say no? And you're not alone in wanting the NSFW version so here you go, hope you enjoy! And thank you so so much <3. You know flattery will most likely get you your way with me. Surely a thing Astarion and me share... This is Fem!Tav/Astarion btw.

I used this wonderful template (although I changed C slightly), thanks again to @the-coldest-goodbye.

Smutty headcanons about Astarion and Tav (in alphabetical order)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Astarion is very cuddly and comforting – especially if it was a little rougher. He’s always making sure you’re okay, holding you, kissing you gently, laying around naked afterwards just talking and relaxing. Especially since he’s learnt being comfortable with non-sexual intimacy he also just enjoys being close to you with skin-on-skin contact, feeling your warmth.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

“Just one, love? Don’t make me choose a favourite?” Let’s face it, he knows he has the body and face of a fallen god. He takes pleasure in looking and being beautiful (rightfully so), he likes that he has a body that’s well built and incredible to look that. But not even in that kind of hollow way but it’s just aesthetically pleasing and that’s a source of joy for him (also he loves his hair a lot). That also goes for you: he’s constantly reminded of every single little beautiful detail about you. The way your neck curves in an elegant line, the way your lips open into a smile, the small lines in your irises that are only visible when he’s like an inch away from you, the little dimple above your butt? Ugh – he could get lost in all those little aspects for they’re all infinite spaces of beauty.

C = Coming (switched that one because I liked this more)

Astarion takes an incredible amount of pleasure in keeping you on edge sometimes. The way it’s so very much in his hands to let you fall or not and the way you’re willingly giving yourself to him in that way. He’d never truly make you suffer though – he only does what makes it more exciting for the both of you.

Sometimes it might even be a little bit of teasing who might be able to push the other beyond the point of no return. (Punishable by law and the other will pay!)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It turns Astarion on way too much when you wear his clothing. The way your ass looks when you’re wearing only his shirt, when it’s visible just beyond the hemline. The way your hardened nipples peak through the fabric and the outline of your breasts shows through it – he can never get over that image. Certain way to get him to push you against a wall in three seconds or less.(And it will stay on during the sex, so he can smell you and what the two of you did later on.)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Do we even need to answer this? He knows every damn trick in the book and he’s very creative and eager to show off and teach you.

But: Doing all this with someone he really loves? With someone he desires so deeply it threatens to melt him from the inside? That’s a whole new plane of existence he never even though existed.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

“Again, darling, you can’t possibly make me pick just one. Because when you’re under me I can see your face when I’m deep inside you. I can watch your eyes roll back and how your lips soundlessly form my name and your legs wrapped around my hips can slowly drive me insane. But when you’re on top of me I feel like you’re a goddess gracing me with your blessing. And when you’re on all fours and I’m above you, I can feel the tension in your whole body, how you desperately use every inch of space to get more friction and look at your pretty little back arch while I grip onto your thighs.”

Enough said, isn’t it?

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s probably way too used to putting up the perfect performance in the beginning. But he slowly learns that being intimate means so much more: that it means being so deeply comfortable with each other, each other’s body and mentally, emotionally, that’s not about perfection at all. And that it can be so joyful if someone cracks a joke in the middle of the act because somehow the moan Tav let out sounded like a dying squirrel. Or because Astarion butchered his cheesy line because you’re driving way beyond mad with the way your hips roll.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Elves have little to no body hair so there’s not much to take care of. The little hair that might exist just stays and is neatly groomed just like the whole man.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Astarion opening up in these moments is one of the most beautiful things. Because he slowly learns to experience real intimacy. He’s slowly fully there with you: it’s not an act anymore. His hands linger now on your soft, warm skin, his kisses become more passionate and never ending, his eyes burn with desire but mostly with love. And he makes sure to tell you: tells you how much he loves you, praises every inch of your body. His heart is so wide open when he gets there, he’s so ready to be loved and to give love – being amplified by the fact that he’d never even dared to believe he’d be allowed to feel something like this.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t really – because why when he has you at his fingertips. Although if you had to be away for a little while he might find he’s craving you way more than anything else. And when he’s sitting soaking in the tub and he’s reminded of how you look getting out of the tub, streams of water glistening on your body – he finds himself pleasuring himself thinking about how it will be once you’re back with him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Hmm yes, the thing with blood. Drinking from you while being in the middle of the act – yeah, you kinda both enjoy that quite a bit.

But also it’s such a massive turn on for him if you give yourself to him completely. The fact that you’re trusting him this much is driving him almost insane.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Oh, it could happen anywhere at any time.

Your enormous bed is your favourite place by far though. After all this safe space of coziness is just where you can completely intimate with each other in any kind of way. But Astarion for sure has to test every surface in the house with you – at least once. Okay, maybe twice for good measure.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Just you literally doing anything. Once he realises he’s in love with you, he’s fallen and can’t get up. You’re angry at him – woah, the look you throw him takes his breath away. The way you bite your lip when you’re concentrating on something – he wants to put his lips on yours immediately.

And let’s not even talk about when you try to deliberately turn him on. You wearing something naughty just for him? You very purposefully letting your hands wander and linger just a little too much for it to be innocent?

“Love, either you keep these naughty little hands to yourself or you’ll put them right there right now and finish the godsdamned job”, Astarion whispers huskily and grabs one of your hands, deliberately placing it on the growing bulge between his legs.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

If he ever felt used in that way again he’s been put through for way too long – he will NEVER do that again.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Astarion very much enjoys giving head, because the way your thighs press around his head while he can feel you shiver and the way the pitch of your moans rise – hmm, delicious.

He hasn’t been receiving quite that often so he’s not particularly fond of it, until – it’s you and he realises how wonderful you look with your lips wrapped around him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It really depends on the mood. There’s certainly not just the one way with Astarion. He can be so incredibly sweet and tender, touches like feathers. But another time it might be he has you up against a wall and it’s all about carnal lust – making it rough and quick. But he certainly always makes sure it’s pleasant for the both of you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

As much as Astarion enjoys spending whole nights (or days) with you under his hands (or the other way around), he wouldn’t say no to just quickly bending you over the kitchen table to give you a sweet little reminder why it is that you can’t get enough of him – ever.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Experimenting, yes? He likes to show you new things, but he’d never put you in any danger and making sure you’re one hundred percent comfortable with what’s happening is always his top priority.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

No matter what you can’t possibly keep up with him. And he teases you about it (affectionately): “Aww love, I was just getting started. We didn’t even get to the real fun parts.” You just glared him, being too out of breath to put anything you wanted to verbally hurl at him into words.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

The only things he needs really is you and himself. Although something like tying you up against the bed sometimes? Covering your eyes? But for the most part he enjoys completely uninterrupted body contact the most – and that by far doesn’t have too mean it’s always sweet and soft. Those long and elegant fingers have much expertise with sleight of hand and they don’t call it silver tongue for nothing.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh, an awful lot. Astarion is the definition of a tease. But in his defence: he also takes delight in being teased back. It’s no fun if you don’t claw back. And bickering and teasing a lot is definitely your specific kind of foreplay.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Astarion’s quite verbal – especially since he’s discovering new heights of pleasure with his loved one. Groaning and moaning – especially your name or praises for you. Also he does not care if he’s loud – he’ll proudly let the whole world now how much he desires you (much to the displeasure of you and your party members, oops).

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

It’s Astarion absolute specialty to make you flustered in public. Once he’s found you get these delightful full body blushes he makes it his goals to tease you at the most inappropriate times. You hate him and you love him for it – this smug bastard. He just knows how to push your buttons way too well.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s hot alright. He most definitely has those muscles for vanity reasons and thankfully vampirism made sure he’s keeping those abs no matter how much of a domestic softie he’s gotten with you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High – especially in the beginning. Once he’s free to enjoy his own desires at his own pace there will most definitely be this high-demand honeymoon phase. You’re both not quite sure it will always really end (and you surely hope not).

But: it’s also important for Astarion that he’s getting more confident to maybe just not be in the mood every single time. Just like you aren’t always, too. And that’s completely fine, you assure him time and time again that you’ll never want him to indulge you just because he feels an obligation.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

You can sleep when you’re dead. There’s way too much stuff to be done after: maybe another round (or more), cuddle, talk, goof around, down a bottle of wine.

Although slowly drifting into sleep after being fully satisfied and full of love and warmth: that’s definitely the best way to end a night.

[thebeautyoffanfics]

Hii i saw you reopen your thbk request‼️

So... may i request akane, teru, and natsuhiko x gn reader. The reader is insecure about their thick thighs? It's been my insecurity for a long time😭

Feel free to decline this request if you feel not like it!

akane aoi x gn!reader , teru minamoto x gn!reader , natsuhiko hyuuga x gn!reader

a/n : hii , thank you for sending in this request !! i hope you have a lovely day/night/etc <3 warnings : none ?  word count : 764

Akane <3

He thinks you’re the most amazing, gorgeous person in the world. When he hears about your insecurity, he’s a bit surprised.

To him, everything about you is literally perfect, including any flaw you see in yourself. Akane would tell you this regularly, so long as it didn’t make you uncomfortable.

He loves complimenting you anyway, so he wouldn’t mind trying to boost your confidence in your thighs! 

He’s fond of most any love language (and gets giddy over any of them), so, with your consent, you might find him resting his hand on your thigh randomly. Doesn’t mean anything odd or suggestive by it, he just likes to use touch as a reminder of his love for you.

And words… he uses his words so often. Did I mention that? Words? Yeah. He might be a bit much at times, but he adores saying kind things to you.

“(Y/N), you’re so stunning. Have I told you that today? You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met,” He’d say, his hand resting comfortably on your thigh. If you say your doubts, or even have a slight expression of disbelief, he won’t hesitate to confirm it as many times as he needs to.

“I love you so much, (Y/N), everything about you is perfect.”

“Any insecurity you have is amazing. You’re so lovely.”

“Your thighs? When I say you’re lovely, I mean it. Every inch of you is lovely, (Y/N). I hope you can know it someday like I do.”

Teru <3

“Aren’t you the best sight to see? You look lovely, (Y/N),” He would tell you, meaning it genuinely. Any compliment he ever gave you was from the bottom of his heart that was overflowing with affection towards you.

When you ask if he means it-- explaining that the way they fit was a reminder of your insecurity-- Teru would also be a bit surprised. However, he did understand insecurities, and faced many of his own.

He’d take his time to reassure you, holding your face in his hands and telling you how gorgeous he found every aspect of you. Inside and out, you were stunning.

He strikes me as a huge quality time guy (after all, he has a busy schedule-- catching him taking time specially to hang out with you is huge), and so he might base his reassurance off of your favorite love language (or a combination! Honestly, it’s most likely a combination). 

While he might not exactly be sure how to incorporate “quality time” or “acts of service” into helping your insecurities, he makes sure to do what he can with words and touch, as long as you’re comfortable.

Reassures you constantly, tells you how beautiful you are, and might even express some of his insecurities to make you feel better about yours. After all, do you find his insecurities unattractive, or do they make you feel less about him? The answer is probably no! And so, he says that it’s the same for him-- he doesn’t find anything about you unattractive.

As for touch, he also has a habit of resting his hands on your thighs. Honestly, the first time he did it, he wasn’t fully thinking, and was immediately fond of it! Intimate enough that a stranger wouldn’t do it, but nothing too “scandalous” or so on. If you let him rest his head on your lap, he’ll think he’s in heaven.

Natsuhiko <3

Natsuhiko LOVES physical touch. He obviously likes words of affirmation as well, but having the honor of being your boyfriend entails the honor of hugs, kisses, and other various touches.

Before the topic of your insecurity even arised, Natsuhiko adored your thighs. You’d often find him resting his hands on your thighs, or resting his head in your lap.

One day, as he’s relaxing with his head on your lap, the topic of your insecurity comes up. Natushiko, being the drama queen that he is, reacts exaggeratedly. Sits up, gasps, hand over his mouth. He looks almost like you insulted him.

“How could you think that! You’re so gorgeous, (Y/N), your thighs are so gorgeous!!”

Only ups his affections after that. Nearly every time you sit together, he’ll discreetly rest his hands on your thighs.

In private moments, he might squeeze them lightly, or even press kisses to them, should you allow him.

Also will be your BIGGEST hype-man. If you wear anything short or tight against your thighs, he’ll grab at his chest dramatically, hearts practically floating out of his eyes. Compliments you so much, hyping you up with kind words and kisses.

[1-800-crscnt]

-jobs I think some clones would have in a post-war “clones are legally seen as people” universe-

Cody: plant + animal farmer. sees it as both a new experience/challenge (land, terrestrial plants and animals) but also slightly similar to what he was used to as a marshal commander. likes the hard work & care required for this lifestyle but cares more about the payoff of it all. will underestimate mint at some point.

Rex: fisherman of some kind. i don’t really have a reason for this, it just seems very likely to me. probably enjoys the peace and solitude it can bring after years of being in the situations he’s been in, but likes the learning aspect and self-sufficient parts of knowing how to fish. could also like the thrill of wrestling large fish that have bodycounts and going to competitions about it, maybe all of these options at once. possibly worries a lot about everyone else and is always sending them photos of him fishing so they respond with their own thing.

Fox: nice try. stays unemployed in a comfortable cabin in some isolated town and loves it. if he needs money, he’ll cash in on favors or do small favors for his brothers.

Wolffe: also tempted to stay unemployed, but gets restless + depressed, becomes a woodworker. doesn’t care about it at first since it’s just a way to get money and stay busy, but develops a liking towards the methodical work and the feeling of creating something very meaningful and/or beautiful with his own hands. ends up liking to create furniture for his brothers getting settled down as a hobby, but creates gothic decorations to sell as his main thing. possibly gets less depressed.

Bly: security guard, would quit, then become a geologist. liked how similar being a security guard was to being a marshal commander at times, but overall hated being reminded of how a lot of people saw/see clones. found more peace in geology bc of how delicate/patient/focused he had to be (helps reinforce his belief that he’s not a violent machine capable of nothing else), also loves learning and sharing knowledge in general. doesn’t really like working with other geologists, tends to not communicate being angry since he’s used to shutting up to get a job done. but he’s dealing. sort of.

Doom: would probably also be unemployed but because he keeps quitting any job after about a month. just can’t find anything that calls to him or keeps him happy, but knows his end goal is to have a life involving lots of plants. doesn’t enjoy being unemployed because he tends to see it as a personal failing on his part, ends up very stressed. Wolffe tries to give advice on just jumping right into plant stuff and making money off it, but Doom is hesitant to make something he loves into a job he might end up hating and quitting again.

Bacara: part-time piercer, part-time bounty hunter. likes to call them both his “piercing jobs” to the discomfort of nearly everyone else. prefers bounty hunting since he thinks it’s more necessary + familiar, but would give it up first if he was forced to only choose one (more stable pay + might live longer). backup plan is to fake his death (unnecessary & regardless of situation) and become a librarian or historian with a fake accent. sort of a nerd anyway, so this isn’t the end of the world for him, and likes how he can get away with dissociating more than he used to.

Neyo: surprisingly, professional racer. refuses to explain how he got this idea, his motives, and where the next event will be, but likes it when his brothers somehow show up. loves the exhilaration, risk (huge adrenaline junkie) and how his outfit looks. also likes the bragging rights. backup plan is to fake his death (again, unnecessary & regardless of situation) and secretly live with Bacara, becoming a chef because he likes working with knives + feeding hungry people fulfills his desire to be useful in some way. has yet to tell Bacara any of this, actually finds not saying anything about it really funny.