#anyway is Disney evil in many ways? yes

[tippifunandprose]

every time I read about this Disney vs DeSantis thing and the bit about how the agreement doesn't end “until 21 years after the death of the last survivor of the descendants of King Charles III, king of England" all I can think about is some bumbling caper where the Florida government repeatedly tries to assassinate the entire royal family just to spite Disney

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey have you seen the latest Mufasa trailer? It shows us Scar or Taka as he is called in the film in a positive light. He saves Mufasa, who is an orphan, and accepts him as his true brother even though the other lions in the pride reject Mufasa. I wonder if this is the history that is taught in Twisted Wonderland because the King of Beasts is also seen as a noble figure.

[Referencing this trailer!]

Yes, I took a look at it! I believe D23 happened like… yesterday? That’s the annual convention where Disney drops a ton of news about upcoming projects, and the new Mufasa trailer was one of the announcements made.

I was really skeptical about Mufasa when I first heard about it, and that snowballed into dread when I saw the previous trailer. The wording of that one basically yells us that Mufasa is an orphan with no real claim to the throne, which only serves to justify Scar’s outrage when he was overlooked for the position of king. Not only that, but it nullifies Simba’s claim to the throne since the implication is that blood apparently doesn’t guarantee that you’re next in line. The new trailer makes this issue all the more apparent, because now it seems to be completely redeeming Scar…? I think they’re trying to explain his downfall and his turn to “evil”, but from the looks of it, it instead feels like unintentionally give grounds for Scar’s hurt and rage in The Lion King. It’s definitely… a choice… and I’m not sure how much I like them adding that to the animated TLK lore.

Thar being said, I do think this poses considerations for Twisted Wonderland. I had very similar thoughts as you did, Anon! It has already been suggested that the version of history being told in their universe is “twisted” or altered from the versions Yuu/we, the audience, are familiar with. So… what we see in the new Mufasa trailer (up to a certain point) could very well be the “real” version of what is taught in Trein’s Magic History class. It fits SO well with the canon narrative we already have on hand. The King of Beasts is described as a hard worker and someone who accepted animals of all kinds, including hyenas that had once been excluded from the Pridelands. What better way to exemplify that virtue than a story of the King of Beasts himself accepting a no-name orphan cub as his own brother when all the other lions claimed the cub would never be accepted as part of the royal family???

I wonder how the story of Mufasa (if incorporated into TWST in the future) is interpreted by the characters too?? For example, Leona doesn’t think too highly about the concept of the great kings of the past in the sky, nor does he like “Hakuna Matata” (deeming it self-serving rather than as something positive). These are both things introduced in the original TLK. However, I’d imagine that Leona would actually admire the King of Beasts for his act of selflessness. (“He didn’t just talk the talk, he walked the talk too. They weren’t just pretty words, the King of Beasts lived by his ideals. The world he envisioned is one where beasts of all kinds could come together in harmony. Heh, what a guy.”) BUT AT THE SAME TIME Leona might be cynical about himself living to the legacy of the King of Beasts. He still bears resentment toward Falena and he refuses to cooperate with his older brother (despite Falena, their dad, and Kifaji all asking him) to govern Sunset Savanna. The King of Beasts wasn’t nearly so narrow-minded—he accepted a peasant and orphan as his equal. Leona in this hypothetical is, of course, tunnel visioning on his shortcomings and not paying attention to what he has accomplished: many younger students who look up to him, a dorm of students (many of which are beastmen of different varieties) that unite under his rule, and his own acceptance of “lowly” beastmen like Ruggie. I would love to see how he grapples and deals with these kinds of stories and how he reflects on his own life through them.

Anyway, the new Mufasa trailer sure sucks for Scar’s character but this has so much interesting potential for TWST 😭

[bri-the-nautilus]

Come To the Dark Side, We Have Hot Guys: A Star Wars Story

Spoilers below for S1 of Ahsoka and the first six episodes of The Acolyte.

I'm writing this with The Acolyte most of the way through airing its first season, with episode 6 having released earlier today. Say what you will about the show, but it's really brought out a lot of the uglier sides of the Star Wars fandom. Everyone and their mother has seen videos or Reddit threads dunking on the Critical Drinker or SWT and their mouth-breathing misogynist audiences at this point, so I don't feel particularly compelled to retread that ground. Instead, I want to talk about the... other side of the fandom, the hypocrisy therein, and how we're all being played for absolute fools by the creative team at Disney Lucasfilm.

Yes, this post is about Qimir.

Now I want to say that I have no problem with villain simping/shipping. Far from it. Most of my posts on this account are me simping for Shin Hati (we'll talk more about her later) or various Soulsborne bosses. Hell, my mutuals and I have a running joke about me having a weakness for evil blonde women. While I personally am too gay for my own good and couldn't care less about men as a concept, I absolutely see the appeal of characters like Qimir and Kylo Ren. I absolutely get why people thirst over them and love making fandom content for them. I think Qimir/Osha has the potential to be a really fun ship, actually. The point I'm making here is not "simping for these characters is wrong and bad," and I want to make that crystal clear before we continue.

That said, let's talk about Qimir, and how the landscape of the show and its surrounding discourse has changed since his reveal. Again, I'm ignoring the chud sphere here, partly because their little corner of the Internet has remained remarkably stagnant since then. The podcast bros still think it's woke, fucking Shadiversity is still whining about fight choreography (which as someone who actually has done HEMA/stage combat, Shad annoys me to no end, but that's an entirely separate can of worms), and it all seems to be business as usual over there. No, the most marked changes have been on the Acolyte-positive end of the fandom space. Here's what the top posts in "hashtag TheAcolyte" on Twitter look like tonight:

You get the idea.

Again, no hate to any of these people. This is tumblr ffs, we've all engaged in a little simping for a morally dubious hot person. I love seeing fans having fun engaging with something, and again I kinda dig the Osha/Qimir ship.

Anyways, if you were around for the Acolyte-positive discourse before the Qimir reveal, and especially the show's marketing and the reponse to that, you'll have noticed a marked difference.

Fans quickly began to see The Acolyte as " the gayest Star Wars ever." Showrunner Leslye Headland is an out lesbian, and her wife was cast as Master Vernestra Rwoh. Archetypical girlboss Carrie-Anne Moss was cast as Master Indara, immediately drawing comparisons to her role in the Matrix movies. Leads Osha and Mae Aniseya are played by the nonbinary Amandla Stenberg. The lesbian witches of Brendok were talked about in press releases before the show aired. Dafne Keen (Jecki Lon) stated in an interview that she portrayed the short-haired, serious Theelin as having a crush on Osha, something that fans were picking up on in their first interactions in the premiere before Keen even gave that interview. While Headland said in a post-premiere interview that she didn't set out specifically to make "a capital Q Queer show," it's an objective fact that no Star Wars movie/show has had as much potential in that area, and fans (especially the queer community) took notice. (For what it's worth, in the same interview Headland commented that she was proud of creating something that so many queer fans identified with.)

The show came out, and Master Indara was killed off in the first sequence, which I'm honestly fine with. It was a good scene and works on a lot of levels. Headland's aforementioned interview came and went. Episode three aired. The lesbian witches turned out to be even gayer than was previously thought possible, and people ate that shit up while the Critical Drinker's brain suffered a major cascade failure. Jecki became a runaway favorite in the premiere and episode four, as did lovable himbo Yord Fandar and the wise, paternalistic Master Sol. In Acolyte-positive circles, this was basically how it went. People thought Brendok was cool, the Yord Horde became the show's biggest social media sensation, Jecki and Sol cultivated devoted followings alongside Osha and Mae, there were a wealth of different ships involving various combinations of Jecki, Yord, and the twins... you get the idea.

Then episode 5 happened.

The writing was really on the wall when the Brendok coven was abruptly wiped out. Introducting such an interesting (and queer) Force-wielding culture only to exterminate them in the same episode was certainly a choice that somebody made. But episode 5 was a shock to the system for many fans, as the show's resident Sith revealed himself and killed Jecki and Yord in some of the most brutal recent onscreen deaths in Star Wars. To be clear, I think this was a great sequence. Two beloved main characters being suddenly and gruesomely killed off was a masterfully executed shock to the system, especially after viewers were lulled into a false sense of security by all the redshirt deaths in the previous scene.

This, understandably, completely changed the landscape of the Acolyte fandom. Virtually overnight, much of the simping and shipping involving Jecki and Yord dried up, and once the dust had settled as far as the "rip blorbo, gone too soon" posts went, what remained were the usual Sol/twins offerings and a wave of Qimir hype. Which is understandable. He's a badass emo Sith boy with a cool helmet who brutally murdered fan favorite characters in front of us and has palpable tension with the female lead. Who wouldn't love... wait a minute.

This feels familiar somehow.

But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?

And just like that, "the gayest Star Wars" is all about the (straight) sexual tension between an edgy, murderous Sith boy and a light-side girl plagued by dark thoughts whose friends said boy just killed. This is all eerily similar to how the Sequel Trilogy focused on Rey and Kylo while abruptly dropping Finn and Poe's character arcs. Even the fandom discourse is the same. I mean Reylo was so ubiquitous back in the day that it became a derogatory catch-all for good girl/evil boy shipping. Multiple authors now have either gotten their initial start/fame writing Reylo fics, or straight up published legally distinct Reylo fiction after the fashion of Netflix's After. You had the occasional person piping up to say "hey they kind of just left Finn and Poe hanging after TFA, it would've been cool if they got together but at the very least don't relegate them to being side characters/comic relief in separate story threads," and that was it. The same thing is going on with The Acolyte now, only the sequel trilogy wasn't marketed on the strength of being a queer story by a queer creative team. The Acolyte is, which makes it all the more baffling that by the midway point of the first season, all the gays have been buried and the show seems to be heading straight for Reylo 2: High Republic Boogaloo. And the fans are eating it up.

As an interesting aside, I think it's an interesting exercise to contrast the Kylo/Qimir pattern with the broader fandom's treatment of Shin Hati (told you we'd circle back to that), and the ship between her and Sabine Wren. On paper, Shin is very similar to Kylo and Qimir. Villain? Check. Edgy-looking armor? Totes. Emotionally damaged/stunted in some way? Sure looks like it. Tension with the heroine? You betcha. If anything, the only major difference is that Shin isn't as evil as the others. Compare her actions in Ahsoka (clearing out part of a light cruiser with Baylan and making repeated attempts on Sabine's life) to Kylo (oversees multiple war crimes, kills his fan-favorite dad) or Qimir (orchestrates the murders of several Jedi before brutally executing two fan-favorite characters). She's definitely bad, but I struggle to see her as on par with Qimir, let alone fucking Kylo, in terms of evilness.

Which makes it all the more interesting to me that the Shin/Sabine ship has received so much more mainstream skepticism/criticism than the Osha/Qimir or Rey/Kylo ships. "They have no chemistry!" "She's an evil murderer!" "She's a blank slate!" "Sabine is taken!" I may be a touch biased, but from where I sit a large part of the fandom, even the ostensibly progressive side, seems to look down upon Shin/Sabine shippers while swooning for heterosexual variants with far more evil villains.

This isn't a monolith, and I can't stress that enough. I'm not trying to start shit here. Villain shipping is awesome. We support women's wrongs in this house. You do see the occasional person decrying Reylo or Osha/Qimir as toxic, which I think is fairly unnecessary. Like yeah, maybe it's a toxic dynamic, but these are fictional characters. For these specific characters, part of the crowd appeal is the toxic badboy side of things. I don't think we should really spend much energy attacking any fictional ship (between adults, mind you) as toxic, which is why it puzzles me that an as-yet-unconfirmed lesbian ship in a niche show receives such a large proportion of this sort of criticism compared to the canon relationship between two main characters of a blockbuster trilogy.

At the end of the day, this whole affair has been rather sobering for me on both Disney Lucasfilm and the Star Wars fandom. For all the support the Shin/Sabine ship has received from Ahsoka cast members Ivanna Sakhno (Shin), Natasha Liu Bordizzo (Sabine), Eman Esfandi (Ezra Bridger, the other character people like to ship with Sabine), and Rosario Dawson (Ahsoka), I'm rather sour on the prospects of it becoming canon. The sequel trilogy dropped the ball on what many saw as a promising chance for an MLM romance between Finn and Poe in favor of trotting out the "why do good girls like bad boys" dynamic, and The Acolyte, "the gay show" overseen by a lesbian, has seemingly shifted to center a similar dynamic after killing off most of its prospects for a queer relationship among the main cast. Simply put, I think that Disney as an international company based in the frighteningly divided United States is reluctant to commit to anything beyond lipservice in terms of LGBT representation in their movies/shows, which again doesn't leave me feeling optimistic about WolfWren's canon potential. And the fandom takes the bait. People love the damaged evil badboy/good girl dynamic, and when the queer fandom suggests the possibility of a queer ship taking center stage in a show with no other extant relationships, even the more progressive side of the fandom tends to either ignore it or actively push back on its basis in reality until Disney Lucasfilm inevitably puts the kibosh on it. The amount of times I've heard people dismiss WolfWren for the same reasons they now like Osha/Qimir and liked Reylo (before that ship was fleshed out/canonicalized, anyway) is ridiculous, but at the end of the day you kinda feel stupid for expecting anything else. Again, I think Qimir is a cool character and I'm as much of a sucker for villain romances as the next girlie, but seeing how easily the fandom lets dangling heterosexual carrots lead it away from Disney Lucasfilm's broken promises of queer rep is a sobering ordeal.

[msfbgraves]

I think that if we're all forced to sell our lives away to please corporate, governmental or dictatorial overlords;

If they've made it impossible to not participate in the system;

If opting out on a small scale exactly does nothing to hurt any of the evil;

If you sometimes even actively can't do much, because they've worked you till you're old or you're disabled in some way

It comes back to what all the religions preach anyway:

What you can always do is give to others. Even if it is a day pass to feckin Disney World to buy their crap and make them richer, it will boost happiness and lower stress. Misery and want is what the whole system feeds off. If you lower that in any way, it is fewer drugs sold, fewer people harmed, maybe slightly less time stuck in some kind of traffic, maybe somebody has the energy to fix something in the house, work on their health, play with their dog.

The system works on manufactured misery. And yes, it will be fed even by a lot of the efforts to lessen misery. But they will earn a whole lot less, and it will lessen their ability to create more, the more we do for each other. Even in whatever system traps you.

That is not easy at all but it is simple.

And I'm not that much for interacting with a bunch of people all the time. There are people that annoy me and I don't want to interact with. There are people so spoilt they could do with a little adversity to deflate their egos. I don't even particularly trust many charities. But any misery you can lessen, any joy you can buy, even, sticks it to the destructive forces in this world.

Remember - they live off agony and coercion. That's where all of it builds on. People are not half as bad as everybody always paints them. Use discernment, of course - don't get exploited. But every bit of true, actual happiness or relief you can create or buy helps. Even if you're trapped, and exploited, and powerless, feelings they want you to numb, or even situations they hope will kill you to scare others into submission - even then, anything you can or even buy for another will fight it. For a close one. Not for the state, the nation, corporate, vague charity. Sometimes not even for you, because what power you have is too little to solve your problem. But giving it to another - as directly as possible - always helps.

It's truly the best way to fight the power, that's why they always create disconnection. Worship either the grand, unknowable state or the individual. No, anything you can do for another person, just some other rando, will always fight the loneliness, fear and misery that drives profit. That's why they disincentivise it everywhere, and if not they try to sell it.

Don't bother. Go hang out with someone. Go do something to ease the daily stress if it is ordering someone a Starbucks Gift Card.

[the-badger-mole]

The Villain and Hero Switch...🙄

On my Maleficent salt again. If anyone ever wants help understanding my hesitance to give live action remakes a shot, look no further. I honestly did want to like the movie at first, but them just taking the story and switching the villain and non-villain roles felt like a cheap cop out.

The fairies thing really pissed me off. In the first film, they were immortal magical beings who had trouble doing things the mortal way. Did that make them imperfect guardians? Sure! But they did their best successfully for just under SIXTEEN YEARS. Then the curse caught up with them, because of course it did. It had to. There wouldn't be a story otherwise. That wasn't a good enough reason to make them criminally negligent in the live action version in order to make Maleficent look like a hero by comparison. I love the fairies from the original movie. They made mistakes, yes, but all good heroes do. AND they SAVED THE DAY!!! Phillip would've frikin died without them, and so would've Aurora!

...huh...I think I'm realizing that maybe my hesitance to give remakes, live action or otherwise, of my animated faves might have a root cause...

Anyway, I do understand that adaptations should change some things in order to justify their existence. After all, a shot for shot remake is also lazy and boring. However, a lot of the time, the remakes just make lazy choices. Like Maleficent being turned into a thinly veiled date-rape allegory and switching the hero and villain roles instead of...I don't know... giving Maleficent a deeper motive for her villainy besides being snubbed for a party invite while still letting her be the fabulous villain we all love. Or instead of focusing on Maleficent at all, they could have focused on giving Aurora more of a story. Maybe showing us how out of place she felt growing up, and what finding out who her real parents are meant to her. Also expanding on her relationship with her "aunts". Have the fairies learning to be mortal a more pivotal part of their experience. Making Maleficent a hero at the expense of villainizing King Stephen, making Queen Leah even less of a character, and Flanderizing the fairies feels...well, lazy. Aurora was one of the few Disney Princesses with two loving parents. Why remove that distinction instead of expanding on their story? They had to give up their only child in order to save her life. Not only is there conflict for them as her parents, there's conflict for them as monarchs. I think a good writer could have made that a compelling story. But no...they just had to make King Stephen evil, for...reasons...

Look, it's not even like I'm against taking the villain of an original story and turning them into the hero. I just want there to be a good reason for it. For example, I love the story of Wicked. I think making Elphaba the hero worked really well, because in the original movie (I didn't actually read the books...sorry. But in my defense, I feel like most Wicked/Wizard of Oz fans probably haven't either? We're all Judy Garland trash) In the original movie the titular Wizard is enough of a morally grey character that you could argue that he could have been a villain actually, and the Wicked Witch of the West was such a one dimensional character that you could take her in so many directions and keep her recognizable (btw, I'm not saying it's bad the 3W is one dimensional. It worked for the story, but it gave the fanfics author something to build on). Also, I feel like Wicked the novel doesn't remove all the moral greyness from Elphaba's character, and it makes her interesting. There's a story to tell there! I can dig it! It's when adaptations completely switch the role of hero and villain so completely and abruptly that I get annoyed.

What they did was less a retelling than making up a completely different story altogether. Stephan and Leah were minor characters in the original story, yes. But they could've remained loving parents to Aurora, and Maleficent could've remained the villain and still been part of a great, expanded story.

Then maybe Maleficent could've still turned into a dragon instead of giving her stupid pet bird that moment.

[lulu2992]

After listening to this song on repeat and/or having it regularly stuck in my head these past few weeks, I’ve finally seen Wish!

I had read many reviews that said the movie was bland because it lacked originality, and while I understand this point of view, in a way... I think it was intentional.

The film was released for Walt Disney Animation Studios’ 100th Anniversary and is full of more or less obvious references to other Disney movies, whether it’s a well-known character name that’s mentioned, someone directly quoting another film, or even just a background, object, gesture, or scene composition that, for some reason, feels familiar. The fact that all those “Easter eggs”, which could have been very annoying but, in my opinion, manage to remain fun (not really in a self-mocking way as Enchanted did, though), exist, combined with the images that appear during the end credits and the scene that follows (yes, there is a post-credits scene), make me say the goal was to make the “Disneyest Disney movie”.

Wish is not lazy, it’s a celebration.

It’s still its own film with its own story, but it’s first and foremost a tribute to Walt Disney Animation Studios, all the movies they’ve released over the years, and the now iconic (some might say overused) concepts of “wishing upon a star” and hoping your “dreams come true”. At one point, there’s also a flip book (with a time chart!), and I see this as a nod to traditional animation, as well as an homage to the original “magic makers”: animators in general.

So yes, it’s unoriginal and maybe not the most memorable Disney film. As you would expect, it opens on a storybook, takes place in a fictional kingdom, features a heroine who has an animal sidekick and a dead parent, and she has to fight against a charismatic villain who uses green magic. I would describe Wish as a quintessential Disney movie, and while it may not be groundbreaking, it’s still cute, pretty, and entertaining. The characters are good and, even when they don’t have a lot of screen time, have distinct personalities. I’m thinking in particular of Asha’s friends who, as I’ve just realized writing this, must be a reference to the Seven Dwarves (even their initials match)... There also are many songs, of course, as they are yet another trademark of Disney movies. Special mention to “This Is The Thanks I Get?!” because I thought it was quite catchy and the most original!

Speaking of King Magnifico, he really is a great character and “classic” Disney villain, and it feels like we hadn’t seen that in a while. That said, [spoilers]…

...I was a bit disappointed they introduced his tragic backstory (without fully explaining what exactly happened, by the way) and then didn’t really do anything with it at the end. Sure, it humanizes him, gives him depth, and explains why he’s unhealthily obsessed with being in control, and I agree that not all villains need or deserve a full redemption arc, but… I don’t know, since they mention the fact his family died and that the fear of loss is what motivates him (at least at the beginning), I expected that to play a bigger role in the story, and especially in its conclusion. I’m not saying he should have been redeemed because I don’t know if it would have worked in that story anyway, but taking into account his past, the fact they mention it several times, and what they (Disney) have been doing with many of their villains lately, I simply thought it was likely to happen. Maybe King Magnifico didn’t necessarily “deserve better” as a person because he does become “evil”, to the point that even Queen Amaya, his wife, eventually turns her back on him despite their seemingly sincere connection, but as a character, I’m inclined to say he did…

Oh well, at least he has the coolest villain song!

Also, knowing my love for charismatic antagonists with a tragic backstory, maybe it’s best for me that they didn’t explore that further and just let him apparently irremediably lose himself. Had they decided to “save” him, even partially, or give the audience more reasons to feel sorry for him, I fear I could really have spiraled out of control :’)

[ilovescaredysquirrel2]

Disney's going downhill again (kinda happy ngl)

Should I really be happy about this? I mean, people are going to start turning to the underrated non-Disney media now that the world's most overrated company is going downhill again after Inside Out 2 brought them back up with a few months of hype.

First, let's talk about the live action Snow White remake. As someone who hates the "original" movie from 1937 (I say original in quotation marks because there's so many Snow white adaptations throughout the years). I just don't like the old animated Disney version, no matter how much someone will argue with me. Yes, I seen it but I have not grown up with it. I understand it's hard for someone to hate it if they grew up enjoying it, which I don't understand how they could because there's so many things in it that would scare the kids, and also... Snow white is a teen and the prince is a grown man! You can clearly tell just by looking at the designs. Nothing wrong with Snow white as a character but I heard they were originally going to make her look different but changed it to her current design because they didn't want her looking "too mature" which is freaking gross. I mean, it's from 1937 and it was legal and apparently normal for grown men to be attracted to underage girls and marry them... but doesn't that make you want to watch the movie less? Like, it's not the Victorian era anymore so why are we watching movies from back then? I don't mind that they remade Snow White and the seven dwarves, it doesn't look that good anyway. However I'm still not hating on the live action remake as much as I hate on the original. Who needs the problematic Disney versions when we have Red Shoes & the seven dwarves, and Mirror Mirror? Heck, I'd even watch the Super Why version over the 90 year old cartoon Disney one.

Now my rant on Disney's Snow white is done, let's get Decendants (or is it Decendents? whatever) out of the way. The Decendants franchise is basically an Ever After High knock off, just as the first Toy Story is a Knock off of Raggedy Ann & Andy Musical Adventure. Regardless if you like Decendants or Toy Story, we can still acknowledge that originals existed before the Disney versions. Disney DOES make knock offs, you know. The Wild is an obvious knock off of the first Madagascar movie. Everybody's saying how bad the "Jaladdin" song is in the new Decendants movie but I saw a video by The Artistic Aloubell on YouTube and she explained how another song in the movie had a very bad message (I'm not sure if I should post a link to her video in post, but I'll post it in the comments if someone asks for it). The song was basically about how being evil is justified if you have a good reason to? I don't know honestly, I'm an adult and I had trouble figuring it out, imagine the children who the movie is meant for, trying to figure out the message. The kids watching Decendants probably think like "Oh the outfits are cool! I like her outfit and her blue hair!" not about the message, but still! At first glance the song seems cute but when that YouTube artist broke down the lyrics and explained it, it wasn't so cute. Everybody was hating on the "Jaladdin" song, though. The Jaladdin song actually made me laugh a little, when I saw the clip. Also, I haven't actually seen any of the Decendants movies so I don't know every single detail, I just know it's basically like Ever After High, they're the sons and daughters of Fairytale characters, that's why they had a goofy song with Aladdin. Also, I thought the "Rise of Red" was going to be Little Red Riding hood's daughter or something, but it's the Queen of Hearts? Wow, what a missed opportunity! (btw I like how they had a tribute to Cameron Boyce, may he rest in peace).

Now let's get to the sequels, after you probably read enough already. Disney doesn't need to make live actions of every movie, but I'm fine with the Snow white one, as i said before (I just wish they didn't cast Rachel Zegler). I think the fact that they're making sequels of everything is worse than live action remakes (however I don't think that Lilo & Stitch or Tangle need live action remakes, since they're not as outdated as Snow White or Cinderella). The Moana sequel doesn't look bad, but it doesn't beat the original movie (even though I think Maui's "You're Welcome" song is so annoying). I can tell that some of the animation doesn't look as detailed and well-rendered as the original did, plus they got the culture down to the T in the original. The sequel doesn't really display that, plus it looks like there's more action and less heart warming story than the original. Something about the trailer felt a bit off, but it doesn't look bad. Zootopia, sequel is where I get really pissed off though. Disney's like "Oh no! we're losing all our gay furry audience now that Zootopia is old news! Let's bring it back so they can fall back in love with their dream crush, Nick Wilde!" and yes, this is coming from someone who hates the original Zootopia for a multitude of reasons. In fact, Zootopia is the only modern Disney movie that I truly despise! Also, why are they making a Toy Story 5? We don't need a 5th Raggedy Ann & Andy knock off!

Anyway, if you came this far, thank you! If you don't agree with me on everything I said, that's fine but I hope I gave valid points. If not, feel free to argue with me in the comments! You don't have to always agree with me, let me know if you do or don't. PLEASE CHAT WITH ME IN THE COMMENTS!

[anthroparis]

I think what makes disney's hunchback so incredibly touching and effective to me despite all the. well. bad parts. is that for myself (and I'm sure, many others) it does a really good job of encapsulating what it's like to be catholic. I relate to every singe character in that movie because every single character represents a different relationship to religion and it's so. gorgeous. esmeralda is a pretty good example of what it's like to feel abandoned by god (especially as a woman- in god help the outcasts she directly addresses mary, which always hits me really hard because mary has always been important to me) as someone who goes through intense hardship. and it's like, yes she feels abandoned and lost and outcasted by the very church that preaches acceptance and tolerance but she's also drawn to the religion itself as a source of hope and comfort during dark times and it's just ah. then there's frollo. I always think it's SO funny when people act like frollo being an insanely humanized villain despite all the terrible things he did is something revolutionary. like every single catholic on the planet has felt the same way he does by age 8 (minus the racism, hopefully). where everyone else sees yandere I'm seeing someone who is so weighed down with guilt and self-disgust for being unable to achieve an impossible goal (perfect purity) that the very thought of sin, whether from himself or others, is so utterly revolting it makes him violently obsessive. I think the big thing here is that he deflects blame onto others, but still knows deep down that he's at blame and he pities the people he can't stop himself from hurting. like we need to discuss the very concept of hell and eternal damnation itself when we talk about him cause. sigh. YES there's confession but that feeling of doing something "bad" never really leaves. it feels like once you've done something evil you will never save yourself no matter what you do to right it. I believe many people (myself included) have at one point or another, given up and chosen to just dig themselves deeper since we're already damned to hell anyway. I see that in frollo. then there's quasimodo. who I think reflects a lot of frollo's traits but to a separate degree: instead of blaming other people, he directs blame inwards. he believes he was born evil and wrong and he has to do things to make up for that. which is literally just like. ORIGINAL SIN. catholicism is very different from other branches of christianity in many ways but one of them is that you don't just. get into heaven for believing. you actually have to do good things. at least that's what was taught to me in church. I get that it's, you know, the setting (the book has a very different theme and tone imo but that's again for another day), but quasimodo literally being trapped inside a church is so. hm. his character arc centering around his freedom, rediscovering his self-worth, escaping oppressive morality... sighhhhhhh. I get it. but also at the same time I like that this movie takes the time to address the multifaceted aspects of religion. catholicism? not inherently evil or bad. there are certainly dated aspects of it but as we've seen, people tend to pick and choose what they follow. however, we also take the time to address how the doctrine can be twisted to support literal genocide. so. you know.

I really like this movie

[airandangels]

Watching The Mandalorian chapter 22, "Guns For Hire."

According to the Disney+ blurb, this is 46 minutes and the Mandalorian visits "an opulent world." So that actually is a reasonable length for an episode. The "opulent world" part makes me think of Canto Bight and how much I've wanted a heist episode somewhere flashy like a casino - "The Prisoner" was sort of a heist, but everyone was a jerk and I want a heist where Our Friends work together - Boba and Fennec and Din, and if the fates really smile upon me, Cobb too. And there would be disguises and snappy outfits and double-crosses (that were actually a ruse to gain an opponent's trust enemy-of-my-enemy style) and daring bluffs and reversals of fortune and it would be fast-paced and fun. I love the start of Return of the Jedi because it's a heist

although that heist does not turn out so well for ol' Boba.

Anyway let's see what this is all about (I bet not that).

like I suspect this episode is going to be more about Bo-Katan being the Main Character instead of getting her own TV show like an honest person

anyway, we're in space, space is the place, you can soak in a tank and have fishy snacks poured in from a goblet, Grogu would love this

these people get to have all their alien dialogue in subtitles but still no Mandalorians speak Mando'a

still can't really get over the fact that George Lucas while presumably not drunk decided to name a race of squidly people "Mon Calamari."

Axe Woves is managing to be quite charismatic in this scene but he still has a silly name - but then it's no sillier than Saw Guerrera. How many people in this saga are named after forestry or carpentry tools?

okay I am sincerely appreciating these characters in massive head and face covering make-up/CG elements emoting their way through heartfelt dialogue about fate and love

awwww she gave him little tentacle beard kissies!

okay, so Din and Grogu are just with Bo-Katan, nobody said that was the plan, but there they are following her around because she's the Main Character now.

and okay

she is A Mandalorian

but by jove she's not The Mandalorian!

and sure maybe just being a side character is all Din's ever wanted

but it's not what I want to be watching

Grogu thinks getting snagged in a tractor beam is fun!

extravagantly evil droid design, really fine work from the Empire there

"I've never been here before, have you?" "I haven't even heard of it," said Din, in a glorious return to form.

is that FUCKING Jack Black

"I hope you like secretions"

look if Jack Black asked me if I liked secretions I would pretty much have to say yes

his beard really is a thing of glory, I'm happy to have it on my screen

(am I actually going to somewhat enjoy this episode?)

and LIZZO

Jack Black pronounces programme "progrum"

I love how Lizzo just has this projected hologram stained glass window dealie following her around

incidentally it doesn't matter if these characters are given names, this is such flagrant and blatant stunt casting that they are obviously just Jack Black and Lizzo.

oh his name is supposedly "Captain Bombardier"? that's not even a name, that's two job titles

put a bit of effort in

call him Glup Shitto

consort of Glup Lizzo

the subtitles call her "The Dutchess." With a T.

GROGU IS PURRING

GROGU IS DOING LITTLE GRUNTY PURRS

fucking - DOC BROWN

what are they DOING

it's this thing where each time I settle into thinking "Hey, this is starting to feel like a real, proper episode of The Mandalorian where they go to a place and there's a mess and they get roped into sorting it out," I get violently yoinked out of the anticipation of enjoyment by another guest star who's SO famous and idiosyncratic that there's no way for them to inhabit a minor role without being obtrusive

oh it's a roger-roger!

and a slap-chop droid!

you've got an entire planet of people none of whom like to make things or fix things?

I mean, if they'd actually followed through on the IG-11 plotline, this episode about reliance on droids would be more interesting. And you know what? I bet these Ughnaughts would have one of those memory circuits you couldn't find on Nevarro or Tatooine. And we could all be listening to the voice of Taika Waititi.

okay, another good return to form - Din's contacts, cultural competency and language skills are essential to success

it's so nice just to get to see him do what he does so well!

incidentally did you guys just leave Grogu with Lizzo?

blatantly shifty Lizzo and her equally shifty husband Jack Black?

I mean sure she was skritching his little downy head and feeding him secretions when you were there but it's weirdly trusting of you

Din. Kindly stop kicking the droids - okay, you very much asked for that. Got your bell rung? What's that, your ninety-fourth concussion now?

it looks like the set design people certainly had a good time with this space shopping mall, and it was a fun day to be a costumed extra

honestly I'm rooting for the droid to escape, he was just doing his job and Din kept kicking him in the dang leg!

like, are droids people? who hang out together in bars? did you just murder a blue-collar worker who ran away from you because you were attacking him unprovoked?

they keep the droid's "remains" in a morgue drawer and draw what looks like blood from it

oh, so she actually gave him the Darksaber back?

(some time later, I wasn't moved to give commentary but that's slightly a good thing because I wasn't INFURIATED)

Grogu has found his true niche: helping Lizzo cheat at games (I told you she was shifty)

exile to the moon is NOT A GOOD IDEA have you watched neither The Clone Wars nor My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?

Okay, I have enjoyed this episode at least 80% more than any other episode this season, and seeing that it was directed by Bryce Dallas Howard, who is amazing at this show, I understand why. I still don't think it was very well written and it suffered from some of the failures of joined-up thinking that have beset this season, but Bryce Dallas Howard can smash out an episode of The Mandalorian and no two ways about it

to quote me at the start of my post:

like I suspect this episode is going to be more about Bo-Katan being the Main Character instead of getting her own TV show like an honest person

yep

[konako]

(*･ω･)ﾉ”┌iii┐♡ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! 

Here, have a silly little Red Snow scene. We are at the Welcome Back Party in S2. (Ah, look at sad!Regina in the background.)

Ruby walked into the back towards the bathrooms, even though she didn’t need to go. She just wanted a minute away from the others. Because she felt like she was clinging to Snow… Mary Margaret… oh this was a problem. Having her back brought this thing up again. How they hadn’t been friends. Until recently maybe. Ruby knew where she was in the process of bringing Ruby and Red together, and it wasn’t exactly hard, but what about Snow?

“Hey.”Ruby turned away from the window and saw Snow. “Hey yourself.”

“Is there anything you need help with?” Ruby looked down the hall. “You saw me going towards the toilets and wondered if I need help? Maybe I don’t want to know every detail of your trip back home or the things you had to show Emma.”

Snow laughed as she got closer. “Don’t remind me. I missed indoor plumbing.” She stopped in front of Ruby and put her hands on her upper arms. “I missed you.” 

Ruby leaned forward so their foreheads touched. “Missed you, too.”

“I need you to tell me everything that went on while we were gone. I’m sure David will leave some things out.” Snow’s voice was only a low whisper. 

Ruby closed her eyes and matched her tone. “He was devastated the portal closed right in his face, you know. We needed him here, but the thought of you two being split up again was awful.”

“David said you helped him to keep it together.”

“That was mutual.”

“I know that I missed a full moon…” Snow let the sentence linger. Ruby debated with herself how much she should reveal. This being a joyous getting back together party. But the way her shoulders tensed up at the mention probably gave away a lot already.

Ruby took a step back and leaned against the window frame. “First of all I want to say I’m sorry that my whole wolf thing helped Regina to frame you, or Mary Margaret, for murder. You know, finding the heart and all.”

Snow playfully rolled her eyes. “Bygones. It all worked out. And hey, I know, if your wolf thing had been in full force, you would have known that wasn’t a human heart right away.” They both laughed. Even though this simple truth was rooted in a dark place. Red knew the smell of blood. Human blood. And the small differences between that and various animals.

“Anyway, I’m bringing that up, because I had my own little accusation arc and you probably won’t be very proud of me when you hear the full story.” Snow raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, but settled in next to Ruby, eager to listen. “King George, I mean Spencer, he had it out for David–”

“He said he was dealt with. No longer a threat.”

“Yes. But it was a hard earned victory. He killed Billy.”

“Mechanic Billy?”

“Yes.”

“Billy is dead?”

“Yes. And for a moment I believed I did that.”

“Oh, Red…” Just hearing her name coming out of Snow’s mouth made it all real again. The fear of hurting others, killing innocent people, murdering a loved one - the past was locked up in the way Snow put compassion into addressing her. The hand reaching up touching her shoulder didn’t help.

“So, hey, I was framed for murder, too. One more for sharing experiences. Although I fully believed I did it and that the mob had a right to chase me…”

“A mob? In Storybrooke? Like going after Regina? All torches and pitchforks? Are there even that many pitchforks here?”

“Surprisingly…”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to yell at you for being stupid.”

Ruby chuckled. “There were people trying to step up.”

“I wonder what Mulan would think about a whole town chasing a wolf around.”

“Mulan? Dressing-as-a-guy-to-defeat-an-evil-army-Mulan?”

 “Yes, that one.”

“I love that movie. Huh. How unfair. Did she-”

“There was no little dragon.”

“How disappointing.” Ruby faked a little pout. “Well, I collected a new Disney princess myself. Turns out Belle is real, too.”

“Oh, don’t tell me she is the reason I saw the open library earlier.” Snow smirked. “Was she with you that night?”

“Huh?”

Snow hit Ruby in the side with her elbow. “When you wolfed out. Did you two have a little Beauty and the Beast moment?”

“What?” Ruby’s laugh was forced, nervousness shining through as if she had been caught. Although she was unsure doing what. “Well, yes, I mean, no, I chained her up in the library.”

Snow looked at Ruby. Blinking slowly. “I think we need to start at the beginning.”

“There you are!” David interrupted the two. “Please don’t make me look for you at a party about finding back to each other.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” Snow got up and pulled Ruby along by the hand. “Red just told me something about chains, maybe she can help.”

[technicalknockout]

PIGEON OC LORE DUMP PIGEON OC LORE DUMP ❗️❗️❗️❗️

*flaps excitedly* PIGEON OC LORE DUMP

warning long and incoherent with way too many elizabeths than required

Oh my god i realized there is no fricking way im explaining everything today theres so MUCH HDKKSJDKS i'll just explain the basic mythology and some of my favorite guys

Ok we need to start with the gods

Once upon a time there was nothing. One day Nothing decided it wanted to be something. It split itself into multiple parts and those parts became the first three gods. The part of Nothing that wanted to be something became Creator (cre) and the part that liked being Nothing became Red (ree. This is a placeholder name i really cant decide on a fitting name for red hdjsdkskd). Also there was this indecisive middle guy and their name is Astral (starry. Starry is important because they're the responsible sibling. They mostly do everything)

These are the Incompetent God Siblings. There are smaller gods who split from the siblings but theyre mostly irrelevant. Also the gods look like birds (actually it's the other way around, birds look like gods because the gods wanted to put something that looks like themselves in the mortal realm. Kind of like self insert ocs dhjskfkd) so i also call them Birbs

Anyway the thousands of new gods just hung around for some time in their newfound existance until cre decided this was boring. So the gods all decided to make some universes with stuff in it. Except ree who was against the whole 'existing' thing in the first place and was a grump about it, so the gods conpromised with ree and put a expiration date on the universe. Spoilers: this leads to some politic problems later on

So tada theres a universe now. Multiple universes. Parallel worlds are relevant later but that would make this post longer than an entire novel series so dropping that topic

Now onto the actual ocs dhjdkskfks

Domino aka Elizabeth the 3rd. (Some quick background lore, the elizabeths are guys who are trapped in an unending loop of reincarnation (courtesy of ree). They all have their own memories and personalities but share some core traits such as god obsession) Domino is part of the "villain squad" in the plot and a (pseudo)scientist who works at the shadow government. She's very cold and NOT interested in anything except for her (ethically questionable) experiments concerning angels and, unfortunately, the main characters. She was relatively fine until she got involved in some plot relevant scheme as a kid and almost died now shes Not Fine.. has two lab assistants Apel Pine (pineapple) and Stein Mango (mangosteen. Theyre 9 years old, twins and orphans, domino named them and yes she is canonically bad at names). Pineapple is traumatized and deprieved of affection, desperately seeking love from domino who is the only thing close to a parent figure he's ever had. Domino does not notice nor does she care.. which makes pineapple :(. He's aggressive to others and needs therapy. Unlike him though, mangosteen is very okay! Mostly because pineapple tried his very best to protect mango from the bad things in life. It worked and pineapple now has twice the trauma he was supposed to have, while mango has none. He turned out as a silly little guy who is oblivious to the horrors and he tries really really hard to make everyone get along. And he likes snow :D theres a short backstory behind pineapple and mango from before they were domino's assistants which explains why theyre Like That, which i will maybe perhaps talk about later

Also in a different universe theres a 12 year old menace called damo who wears a poncho thingie and claims to be the most evil villain in the whole universe (she isnt she has no idea what a villain is, she thinks theyre cool people who explode stuff). She likes bombs and doing disney villain laughs. She is the silly ever and nothing bad happens to her and i love her very very much

[rileydaisy]

The Shipping Problem Part 2

So as you all know I made a post about the whole shipping issues in the past and I'm back to address more about it.

Anyways let's get right into it.

Since no other person is gonna talk about the issues then I'll do it myself.

Well all love cartoon characters from many different franchises and video games.

And when watching a movie or playing a video game with your favorite characters in it, people will always take a liking to a certain character and there's nothing wrong with that.

But there will always be people out there who will automatically start shipping, And I'm not talking about Male and Female shipping no, I'm talking about Male and Male Shipping and Female and Female shipping.

It's very very wrong to ship two male characters together and two female characters together whether they are fictional or not.

Especially if said characters don't get along in a film or a video game.

If the characters don't get along in a movie, a series, or a video game then why ship them together?

It's a disgrace to the creators who made the characters and to the characters themselves because it doesn't make any sense and there's no plot to it.

There's been too much nasty out of place shipping with Disney characters and DreamWorks characters.

Like for instance: Puss x Death, Gremlin Prescott x Marcus, Gremlin Prescott x Jamface, Turbo x Vanellope, Cuphead x Mugman, there's sooo much more ungodly shipping than there is normal shipping.

This is not okay and it never ever will be, no matter how much people who do stuff like that try to make it out to be.

They did the same thing with My Little Pony, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir, Zootopia and many many more kid shows.

It sickens me that there are people out there who think having the characters do disgusting ungodly and abnormal things like that is okay and what's worse is if a child accidentally stumbles upon stuff like that and then they'll think it's okay for them to do so too.

It's sickening and downright disgusting and so abnormal and ungodly.

It's bad enough that people out there don't want kids to be kids anymore and want them to be subjected to all evil and they'll use fun childhood characters to mess up the minds of innocent children by making the characters something they aren't for real.

Just because there are people out there who do stuff like that for real doesn't mean it's okay to make the characters do the same thing.

The world of imagination is a beautiful Heavenly place when it comes to these characters living a beautiful happy magical life every day.

But I feel bad for any kids out there who have already been subjected to evil like that.

The fictional characters don't deserve that, They brought us happiness and that's how we repay them?

As a person who grew up loving all the characters of my childhood, That is very very Very Disrespectful, Ungrateful, and Disgusting.

Gay shipping, Lesbian shipping, Incestuous shipping is Disgusting and very very Very sinful.

Especially for fictional characters.

It's okay to make your own ships but not in a sinful way.

Only Male and Female characters can be shipped together.

But only if said characters don't hate each other for real.

As a Christian I care because I have a heart.

God gave us these characters for good, they aren't meant to be used for evil.

Don't take other people's characters and make them homosexual.

That's very nasty!

And making them trans, queer, pansexual and giving them disabilities isn't something these fictional characters should ever have.

Stop ruining childhood characters.

Yes there are other serious things going on in this world that are very important but this is also very important.

Stop running childhood characters.

[musicprincess1990]

The Hunchback of Notre Dame is my favorite Disney movie (well, tied with Beauty and the Beast). So, it lives rent free in my head most of the time. It's also my favorite Disney soundtrack (tied with Encanto). And I recently watched a video ranking the top 10 villain songs, and #1 was "Hellfire."

I wholeheartedly agree with this pick, and I left a comment on the video, which I'm going to share with you because I can. 😊

Frollo is terrifying because he's realistic. You get a villain like Maleficent or Mother Gothel, and yes they're evil, but the fantasy element of it makes it easier to... I guess "disconnect" is the right word...? Maybe? Point is, it's easy to see that they're not real, that they're just a fictional character in a fairy tale.

But Frollo.

Frollo is not only real, he's everywhere. All over the world, for as long as the human race has been in existence, there have been Frollos. Corrupt predators who have a skewed perspective on themselves, who think they're the ones in the right, they're virtuous, they're justified in their actions, everyone else is wrong, but especially the object of their lust. It's their fault, not his, that he's having lustful thoughts. There are Frollos everywhere, and that is TERRIFYING.

(That's where the comment ended, but I'mma keep going.)

Today, Frollos are known as "Nice Guys." You know, the guys that say they're nice, but really they aren't, and when a woman rejects them, they put all the blame on the woman for being a bitch, being too picky, being insecure, being too secure, honestly they'll come up with any excuse, rather than accept the fact that they're just an asshole, and women don't really like assholes. Oh, but they think women like assholes, because they don't see themselves as assholes, but their perspective, like Frollo's, is completely skewed.

I dated a "Nice Guy," from 2010-2012. I'm still recovering from the emotional fallout. He was toxic and emotionally abusive, and it took me 3+ years after our breakup to realize how awful he really was.

Actually, he was a bit like Mother Gothel, too, because he would insult me and point out things that were "wrong" with me, but when I got upset, he'd say it was "tough love," and wouldn't I rather he tell me the truth than lie to save my feelings? But he was more like Frollo in many ways, most of which I'm not going to share.

I guess that's the real source of my visceral fear and hatred of Judge Claude Frollo. Damn. This took a turn. 😅

Uh, anyways, I'mma go watch some stand-up comedy because I need a laugh. Love you guys.

[pop-pop-pop-popculture]

Hey did you know there's a sequel to 2007 movie Enchanted (Amy Adams, Patrick Dempsey, James Marsden, etc.)? It came out in 2022 on Disney+. I didn't know about it at all! Have you seen it??

I don't remember how I found out about it, but yes. I discovered the film in January! It sucks it went to Disney+ instead of theaters, but, to be honest, as much as I loved seeing the main cast (minus the actress who played Morgan because she didn't reprise her role) reunite, I was a bit disappointed in it. Here comes an essay... 🙂 In bullet point format.

It was not as charming, funny, magical, endearing, and cute like the first film.

*Did the director and any of the screenplay writers even (re)watch Enchanted? So many details (some of which were important) were left out!*

Edward was still Edward, but he was way more (comically) conceited and naïve in the first film.

Where was Nathaniel? I was actually curious to know what he was up to. Not even a single mention about him.

"Congratulations on the increasing size of your progeny." // "Hogwashery." -King Edward

The storyline wasn't terrible, but it wasn't good either.

There was not enough Queen Nancy and Edward.

Why did Nancy decide to leave New York for Andalasia, a fictional place, anyways? What about Nancy Tremaine Studios? I have so many questions.

Nancy lost everything I loved about her in the first film. She wasn't hot. She felt like the female version of Edward, and I mean that in a bad way.

The writers could have done so many things with Morgan in terms of making her an interesting character, but they did nothing. No character growth whatsoever. Give the girl something to be passionate about or a hobby! Art, sports, F A S H I O N..., writing poems, etc. No goals or dreams either. I know Robert said she was shy and not good at making friends, but there was a lot of potential to change that for Morgan. People (can) change overtime - personality, taste in fashion, hobbies, etc.!

*no offense to the actress, but she did not look like a sophomore in high school. I know casting 20-something year-olds for teenagers is nothing new, but she did not pass off as a 16-year-old.*

The songs were not memorable. To be honest, I muted most of them. 😳

*In Enchanted, it was "True Love's Kiss", “That’s How You Know”, and "Ever Ever After" (Idina was originally supposed to sing this and I will forever be mad about that)*

I feel that if this was released in theaters then there would've been more hype around the film and the songs would have got more attention.

Going back to Morgan, I know moving to a new school and town can be daunting, but the writers really did her personality dirty. They just ran with the teenager-hates-her-life-and-has-no-friends storyline and called it a day. Ha.. as if we haven’t seen that one before. You would especially think she'd be a little more lively after being around Giselle for more than five years.

What even made Morgan and Giselle grow apart?

This sequel was really giving low budget.

Good on Giselle and Robert for having a newborn, but I just wasn’t sold. I’m not sure how else to explain that.

The writers tried to sell us with a stepmother/stepdaughter storyline of some sort, but it did not work out for me. The storyline was weak and unclear. There was no emotion either.

Regarding the previous bullet point, there was so much potential to break the all-stepmothers-are-evil stereotype in Disney films, but it wasn’t seized. (Refer to this scene)

*Seriously... did ANYone (re)watch Enchanted????*

I wish we actually got to see Giselle act like a (step)mother towards Morgan. I'm not sure how that would've been handled.

Another character who didn't have good development was Giselle. I love that she always tries to be optimistic and has a bubbly personality, and I'm happy that she is still like that 10 years later; however, I wish we got to see New York's impact on her. In other words, it affected her personality and maybe even the way she talks. She's been living in "the real world" since 2007, so I imagine most all of the fairytale quirks would've been gone by 2022. Also, side note: 10 years later and she still doesn't know what sarcasm is?

*If the first movie canonically took place in 2007, then the sequel takes place in 2017. I feel this is important to note.*

With the countless technological advances between 2007-2017, I am stunned social media (Instagram if anything) was not mentioned! Not that it needed to be, but I'm just surprised.

Morgan tells Giselle out of anger that she is not her mother but instead just her stepmother, and so, as you can guess, this upsets Giselle and that's when things go downhill. The day before, Nancy and Edward give the one-year-old a magic wand. After the argument, Giselle breaks out into song and then wishes for a fairytale life, thus turning the suburbs of New York into a medieval fairytale.

*this is when New York could have become 2007!2D animated! Can you imagine how neat that would have been?? Everyone in that town would have been freaking out! 🤣*

Gifting a one-year-old a magic wand for her birthday present, really? That’s just so irresponsible and not smart. Come on now, Nancy, you're smarter than that.

I genuinely think that Edward’s cluelessness rubbed off on Nancy, and I find that concerning.

We really could have seen Giselle step up as a parental figure by expressing her anger to Morgan for going to New York by herself. (Remember that scene from Enchanted where Giselle expresses her anger for the first time?) #charactergrowth But did we see that? Nope. Robert carried that scene. The anger could have been acted out better by both Patrick and whatever the actress’s name is that played Morgan, though. They were way too chill. Well.. the actress that played Morgan was at least. It only got intense when Robert slightly raised his voice at Morgan.

What happened to Andalasia Fashions (1:29-1:50)?

I just like the idea of Giselle and Nancy bonding over their love for fashion and making clothes. It would have been a great ice breaker that leads into a friendship. BUT... seeing how the sequel played out, it sounds like Andalasia Fashions and Nancy Tremaine Studios are nonexistent. ☹️

Pip was adorable in the 2007 film! He couldn't talk in the "real world" because, realistically, animals don't talk, but in the sequel he can all of a sudden talk in the "real world".

The animation. What the hell was that? Why was it different from the 2007 animation? The 2007 animation was pretty.

@ the animators, Nancy has dark green eyes, not light blue. Ugh, the disrespect.

Spoiler Alert: Due to the wish, Andalasia will disappear (all of the magic get sucked out of Andalasia in order to turn the real world into a fairytale), which starts happening towards the end of the film. Edward stays back while Nancy goes to New York to help Giselle, and everyone sees through a waterfall Andalasia disappearing. The point is that we really could have seen Nancy screaming, crying, and panicking over the fact that her husband was going to “die”, thus giving Idina a chance to show off her ability to convey emotion through acting. Did we see that? Hahaha, NOOOO. Whoever told her to react the way Nancy reacted deserves to be slapped. Because.. what the hell was that kind of reaction? 😐

I like Maya Rudolph, but I wasn't here for her character's villain ...role... post-wish.

Memories are apparently the most powerful thing, not true love's first kiss. That being said, the whole subplot about Morgan revisiting her memories at some tree while Nancy was singing "Love Power" made no sense at all and did nothing to help carry the storyline (whatever that was).

Morgan and Tyson's storyline (or whatever you want to call it) was not cute. It was painfully forced and severely lacked emotion, and so predictable. I actually rolled my eyes once I immediately caught onto what was going on.

This sequel was a mess. I liked the new cast members, but I felt indifferent towards their characters. I was happy to see the main four reunite, but that's about it. I honestly can't point out anything good. Enchanted holds a special place in my heart. I love how ambitious and unique it was! A soon-to-be (Disney) princess was going to get married in the 2D fairytale word but got pushed down a well the day of her wedding before the ceremony by her soon-to-be-husband's stepmother disguised as an old hag that sent her to New York, which then became live action. That was so clever! My mind was blown when I saw it in theaters. Robert was witty and realistic, which is nothing new for a Disney character, but that type of character is a hit or miss. Thankfully, though, he was a hit. Also, it was 2007, and that character trope was not yet frowned upon. Patrick really sold the character and the lines! Not my 13-year-old self crushing on a 40-year-old. Luckily, he had Grey’s Anatomy airing at the time, so he was the perfect choice.

Now, everyone, let's not forget who portrayed his badass, intelligent, strong-willed, hot, don't-fuck-with-me fashion designer girlfriend that owned her own business...

This was a LOOK™. 😍🫠

I like love 2007!Nancy better, and I would die for her.

[the-far-bright-center]

Aw, no need to apologise, I appreciate yet another excellent response...so much in here I agree with!

Regarding those infamous Jedi Apprentice books, I've never read them, and have zero interest in doing so. RIP to 'Woobie-Wan', but I have no time for that fanon version of him, I like my Obi-Wan canon-based and FLAWED, thank you very much. 😤 And that's exactly it, I only take the six-film Lucas saga (PT x OT) as 100% canon. While I have no issue utilising supplementary material (such as the TPM novelisation referenced in this post), I ONLY do so if it supports the main canon story and characterisation.

The issue with ANY EU material that was written prior to the completion of the saga in 2005 (RotS finished the story as Lucas told it), is that it's only basing its premise on a partially told tale. A lot of people at the time of TPM's relase might not have realised that Qui-Gon's claim that Anakin was the Chosen One WAS actually going to turn out to be true. There were many people who thought that because Anakin eventually becomes Vader, that Qui-Gon must be mistaken and wrong (and thus that his dying request to Obi-Wan was an unfounded and unfair burden), which imo is another potential explanation for mischaracterising him in those stories. It's beyond frustrating that people don't realise that TPM was supposed to evoke the feeling of a golden-age of Hollywood biblical drama, and that Qui-Gon's search for the Chosen One was meant to be viewed positively. The fact that Lucas eventually explained that, yes, Anakin IS the Chosen One and REMAINED the Chosen One even after he became Vader was such a fantastic, mind-blowing re-framing of the saga which unfortunately many viewers STILL never understood until the Mortis arc of the Clone Wars came along (and even then ....some people *cough* disney *cough* still haven't gotten the memo.) So the premise of those JA series (that Qui-Gon was 'wrong' and Obi-Wan was 'right') is erroneous to begin with, and therefore its very easy to discard it as non-canon. The EU was never considered canon on the same level or 'tier' as the films anyway, and it's examples like this that demonstrate why. The current Disney-era has confused people into thinking that anything marked 'canon' must all be taken at face value on the same level as every other piece of so-called 'canon' media, not realisng that back in the old days the EU had different 'levels' or 'tiers' of canon, and always, always the main Lucas films had the final say of what was considered 100% canon.

In general, this is a huge problem with SW fandom—far too many people refuse to see the PT x OT saga as a single, completed story that can be augmented by supplementary material, but which ultimately exists whole and independent of anything else. I often get the impression that certain SW fans would prefer the Jedi vs. Sith struggle to just somehow magically exist on its own rather than acknowledge that it was created in a very specific way to function as the backdrop of the Skywalker saga, aka Anakin's story.

Which brings me to another point: THANK YOU for pointing out the fact that Anakin helped save the day during the Battle of Naboo, and that Anakin and Padme both worked together to prevent Palpatine's plans of starting a galactic war ten years prior to the Clone Wars. This is a part of the story that means a great deal to me, that these two young, innocent people (neither of whom were Jedi at this point, interestingly enough) RUINED the plans of the Sith, and that this is a key factor in Sidious' years-long scheme of 'revenge' that comes to fruition in RotS. He hated both of them ever since the events of TPM, and planned for years to destroy them. When you think about the fact that Anakin and Padme were both CHILDREN when the evil Sith Lord started planning their respective downfalls.... you see what they were truly up against. I will never accept the idea that the Skywalker family are just a bunch of 'disasters' when they are NOT. Their origins are deeply, purely heroic. Shmi, a (highly likely Force-sensitive) slave woman who just selflessly wanted a better life for her son. Ani, a slave boy who just wanted to help people because his loving mother taught him to do so (note how he is driven by positive personal attachments!). Padme, a child-queen who just wanted to save her world and her people, and ended up embracing outcasts and reconciling the two disparate societies of Naboo along the way.

So yeah. I will defend Qui-Gon, Anakin, and the entire Skywalker family from misconceptions and retconning slander until my dying breath, and even then I will return as a Force ghost to do so. 😅

Qui-Gon Jinn: the ideal teacher of Anakin Skywalker

an excerpt from TPM novelization

Keep reading

[jackrrabbit]

Adversary /// Overhaul x f!Reader (18+)

Summary: You make a deal with the devil to save your life, but it turns out Overhaul’s not interested in your soul.

A/N: Remember when I said I was going to do a fantasy collab and then dipped for like 9 months? Hahaha…anyway…

@pleasantanathema @ present-mel @shadowworks—if it’s not too late, here’s my part for the Pleasant & Strider Fantasy AU Writing Collab from a million years ago. Go check out the masterlist and gorge yourself on these amazing pieces!!

Tags/Warnings: dubcon, demon fuckery & occult things, big heresy/sacrilege/perversion of religion, sex in a church ft. Catholic sex guilt, other than that it’s not that bad lol, inexperienced reader, mild degradation, shameless camp and demon-fucking clichés, Overhaul calls you “little girl” 👉👈

He doesn’t look like a demon.

Not that you really know what demons are supposed to look like. But…red skin, right? Fangs and claws and swirling masses of bad energy. Maybe cloven hooves for feet. Yes, that’s the Disney version—but even if you didn’t expect a cartoon personification of evil, you didn’t expect this.

He looks like a doctor, you think. Lab coat hanging open, surgery mask pushed down under his jaw, stethoscope draped over his shoulders. No, he’s a little young to really look like a doctor…an intern, you amend, shifting back in your hospital bed. He looks like he fits right in here, not a hair out of place. Except for, you know, the polished black horns curling out of the sides of his skull.

Overhaul. It was written in the book. That’s the only thing you have to call him in your head.

He’s standing in the center of the sigil you drew at the foot of your bed before midnight, surveying the room critically without meeting your gaze. He looks annoyed—that’s not a good sign, is it?—but then again, of course he’s annoyed. You’d be annoyed too if you got summoned out of your cozy hell dimension in the middle of the night. According to the book, you’re lucky he even showed up…although ‘lucky’ isn’t really how you’d describe yourself most days.

“So,” Overhaul says after a long moment of silence in which you question every choice you’ve made in your relatively short life. “You’re dying.”

You nod.

“And you don’t want to be.”

You nod again, wondering if you’re supposed to be contributing more to this conversation. It’s a bit difficult when your mouth is so dry it feels like you’ve been eating dirt, but you suppose being in the presence of an unholy servant of Satan will do that to a person.

“Fine.” He sighs, frowns, and then finally lowers his gaze onto yours—and you shiver.

Those eyes. No human has eyes like that.

“Make me an offer,” Overhaul tells you, and through his open mouth you catch a flash of sharp white teeth.

Okay. Okay. The chirping of the heart monitor speeds up (as if it weren’t obvious enough that you’re terrified) and you fold your knees up to your chest and fidget with your ring and think. He’s giving you a chance to establish parameters. You’re supposed to start with his end of the deal, the thing you want from him. That’s what it said to do in the grimoire, aka the 19th century demonology volume your creepy cousin brought back from her pagan anthropology research trip in rural France. The one you keep hidden under your bed because your mother would burn it if she knew you were reading about summoning demons.

Offer nothing to a hell creature without first telling him your price. You know the words by heart, both the winding calligraphy of the original French from the grimoire and the rushed scrawl of the English translation your cousin left for you in sheets of lined paper layered between the pages of the book for you to read. Really, this is her fault. She was the one who slipped you the book, who told you that it worked, who snuck you the ingredients for the summoning. She was the one who left a bookmark at the chapter on this particular demon, one that specializes in ‘Contrat pour Remédier au Déséquilibre des Quatre Humeurs’, which she said meant a contract to cure any illness. Even his ‘name’ is translated in her hand, practically an afterthought in the margins of the page.

‘Le Malin qui Ravage et Rebâtit’— Overhaul?

You looked up the literal meaning of this phrase on your own. It did not reassure you.

“Girl.” His voice is cold, irate. Your eyes snap back up to his and it feels like that burning gaze is laser-beaming into your skull. “Do not test me. My time is limited…as is yours.”

You swallow. “How long do I have left?”

“Less than a single human year,” he tells you without a trace of sympathy. “Seven months, twelve days, three hours. Or so. You’ll be too exhausted to leave this bed in four months, and the pain will become intolerable in six… By the end, you’ll wish—“

“Stop,” you breathe out. The heart monitor is beeping wildly and you squeeze your knees into your chest, trying to calm down your breathing. “Stop, I—I want to live.”

“Of course you do.” Overhaul’s lip curls. “How very predictable.”

Be specific, you remind yourself, doing your best to ignore the stifling disapproval from the man—the demon—in front of you. Something about him (maybe how clean-cut he looks, maybe the indisputable authority in his demeanor) makes you want to impress him. But you didn’t turn your back on your religion—you didn’t draw pagan symbols on the floor in chalk, fill silver cups with various questionable substances (including your own virgin blood), and turn the crucifix your mother hung over your bed upside-down so you could let a demon make you feel guilty for wanting to survive. “I want to be cured. I’m okay with whatever natural death I have instead when I’m older, I just don’t want to die of this illness. I want you to make me healthy.”

“Simple enough. What else?”

‘Simple’? Your heart surges with something you’ve felt very little of since your initial diagnosis—hope. “T-That’s it. Just the cure.”

Overhaul glares at you. “Humans… Every vice in the world available to you, and you limit yourselves to the basest priority of survival.”

“But you can do it? You can cure me?” you persist.

Overhaul steps forward (quiet, so quiet you wonder if he really moved) and holds a hand out to you past the foot of your bed—you hesitate, and a second later you can see the muscles in his hand flex, stretching the latex of his plastic gloves tight over his knuckles.

Just do it. You give him your hand. Carefully. Like you’re scared the contact will burn you. It doesn’t (although his skin feels warmer than yours), but after a moment his grip tightens, sliding down past your hand to circle the fragile bones of your wrist and squeeze.

“Ow?” You wince.

The demon’s eyes flicker closed for a second, lips moving silently like he’s talking to himself—and then he drops your hand unceremoniously back onto your lap. “You could be cured before the sun rises this morning. I doubt your stay in the hospital will extend past the end of the week.”

He sounds bored, voice as flat and passionless as it was earlier, but your heart is soaring. Cured. You’ve lived with this illness for so many years, you can’t remember the last time someone told you you could be cured. And getting out of the hospital that soon? You can just imagine taking down all the decorations from the walls of your room here and setting them up in your old bedroom at home. You could see friends on the weekend and not take an oxygen bag, you could get a job or—or apply to college, you could have a life—

“That is…assuming you have something to offer me in exchange for the cure.”

Your stomach drops. You’d almost forgotten about the other half of the deal.

“Don’t tell me I came all this way for nothing.” Overhaul steps back, and the orange light of the candles you set sends strange shadows over his arrogant face. The fires look brighter now, and you find yourself tracing the lines of those shining black horns. In an odd way, they look natural—so organically framing his temples that you can’t imagine him without them.

“N-No, of course not. I have some money—I mean, my mom has some, and I can get it for you…” Which is half the truth. If you know anything, it’s that your mother’s spent most of her savings on your treatment and care. You probably have more debt than you have money in the bank right now—you’d try to get rid of that, too, if you hadn’t read in the book how important it is to keep your request as simple and straightforward as possible.

…Although it’s apparently not enough. Overhaul’s eyes narrow, molten gold irises carved into slits. “Even if I had a use for human money, do you really believe your life is worth so little?”

“No—no,” you say quickly. “I just thought—in case you were interested—”

The air crackles with energy, the candle flames spark bright blood-red, and the hair on your arms stands straight up. “I am not.”

“Okay! I get it.” You wave your hands back and forth, pulling your IV line from side to side with the motion. The book was very clear about staying calm and rational while you work out the terms of the deal, but that’s easier said than done when you have a real live (live?) hell creature in front of you. You always knew this was going to be the hard part—all the stories say there’s only one thing that a demon would be interested in, and no matter how inviting the prospect of living past this illness is, you know you’d rather die than sell your immortal soul to the devil. “I’ll give you anything except my soul! And—and don’t hurt anyone I care about, or— just don’t hurt anyone, okay? Other than that, if there’s anything I can give you, I will.”

Overhaul’s lip curls, baring a thin strip of those unnaturally sharp canines. “And is your soul really so valuable?”

This throws you for a loop. Isn’t that the standard deal? A soul for a wish? That’s how it’s supposed to work—at least in this twisted version of reality where you can summon a demon to perform unholy miracles for you. But if you think about it, it doesn’t really make sense, does it? Why would your soul be valuable to him? You can’t form an argument, especially since you’re not willing to barter it away in the first place.

Your mouth is pursed open as you search for a response, but Overhaul doesn’t seem willing to wait. A gloved hand wraps its way around the railing at the side of your bed, and he leans in closer. “Little girl…what makes you think you possess anything I desire?”

Little girl. You’re not a little girl, you’re a grown woman—and yet there’s no untruth in the statement. In front of him you feel insignificant, immature, weak. You have nothing real to offer, and something tells you that you’re not going to get rid of the demon you summoned without a sacrifice you’re not willing to make.

You twist your ring around your finger—the nervous habit you haven’t bothered to break because you’ve always had more important things to worry about—and the glint of silver in the candlelight must catch Overhaul’s eye because before you even notice him moving, your delicate hand is trapped in his larger one to give him a better view of the tiny piece of jewelry. “What is this?”

“It’s—um, a ring. A purity ring.” Has he never seen one before? Well…actually, that makes sense.

Overhaul turns your hand over in his without touching the band of silver. He’s looking at it closely, inspecting the lovingly engraved cross in the design and the inscription on the other side. “Matthew 5:8,” he reads out.

“…Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God,” you recite cautiously. It feels wrong to speak the words in front of him, but somehow you can’t help yourself.

Overhaul’s hand doesn’t leave yours. “This ring is important to you.”

“It’s a symbol of a—a promise I made to God. To save myself for my future husband.”

“To ‘save yourself’? To save what?”

You can’t believe you’re explaining this to a literal demon. You close your eyes and inhale slowly and taste smoke. “My…virginity. It’s a promise that I won’t have sex until I enter into a biblical marriage.”

At this, Overhaul is quiet. You give him a moment to answer, half expecting him to question why you think God cares about your sexual status (honestly, you’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered this yourself), but he stays quiet until you peek up at him to try and gauge the look on his coldly handsome face.

He’s still staring at the ring. He hasn’t touched it—maybe he can’t, because of the cross?—and through the latex, his skin feels hotter than a human’s is supposed to be.

“Is there…” you start, but you trail off when you realize you have nothing to ask. You give a little tug to try and take your hand away and you’re surprised when your wrist actually slides out of his grip to fall back on the nest of sheets in your lap. You didn’t think he’d let you go so easily.

Overhaul turns his head to the side, eyes drilling into you so you feel like you should lower your gaze. The candlelight flickers in strange shadows over his horns. “This will do,” he says quietly.

“What?”

“In exchange for your cure.” The demon taps his own left ring finger, the place where the purity ring sits on your hand, and your heart soars. He actually wants that? It’s just a simple silver band, not worth much, but you’re not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Maybe it has some special significance because of the religious connotation. Your mother will be angry you’ve lost it, but you’re happy to cope with that if it means living to actually get married!

“Yes!” you blurt out before he has a chance to rethink his offer. Sure, you’ll miss the purity ring—you’ve had it since you were a kid, after all—but there’s no question you’re getting the better end of this deal. At least in your opinion.

Something flashes through his yellow eyes, something you don’t even want to try and identify. “The contract, then.”

You barely have time to notice that his voice has gentled, that it’s practically silken in comparison to before, when the candlelight flickers again and suddenly the contract is everywhere. Everywhere. Writing appears on every surface in the room, covering the walls, stretching over the ceiling, coiling around the sides of the hospital equipment and decorating your bedsheets until you and Overhaul are the only untouched surfaces in sight. The characters are inscribed in red, dark red like—don’t think about that, you tell yourself squeamishly. You can make out some of the letters, even a word here or there—French, you recognize, mixed with what looks like Latin and interspersed with what you can only guess are runes.

“I can’t read this,” you tell him, fidgeting with your ring for what you now realize will be the last time.

“I only need your name,” he purrs, and then you feel a fragile weight in your hand: a feather, pearl-black and glossy and too large to belong to any bird you can think of, its angled tip glistening with wet ink. There’s an empty space in the writing before you, and Overhaul’s gloved hand comes to yours again to guide you into place.

This feels wrong…then again, of course it does. Even if you’re getting off relatively easy and just losing your ring rather than your soul, you’re still making a deal with a demon. You sign your name, forcing yourself to think about the future you have ahead of you rather than a disapproving white-bearded caricature of The Man Upstairs wagging his finger at you for haggling with a literal servant of Satan. People have done worse things to survive, haven’t they? It’s just a ring.

You set the feather down and Overhaul sighs, thick black eyelashes obscuring his intense gaze for a moment—and then the contract is gone, leaving your hospital room as blank and sterile as it’s supposed to be (well, aside from the candles and all the other ritual stuff you threw together to summon a demon in the first place).

“Are you going to cure—heal me now?” you ask.

“…Patience, little girl.” He’s pulling his glove off, peeling it down his fingers to bare the pale skin of his hand. You catch your breath and wonder what this is going to feel like, and then the tips of his fingers meet your cheek and—

you stop breathing.

It doesn’t hurt.

Or if it does, you don’t remember the pain a second later when breath floods back into your lungs. What you do feel is energy. Strength in your muscles, blood pumping through your veins, every inhale and exhale as light as a bird and freer. You feel healthy. You’re surprised you even remember what health feels like but you do: it’s like you’ve only been half alive, and now life is surging into you and through you and around you, bubbling up in your core like a spring overflowing. You blink rapidly, thinking you might cry from the sheer pleasure of it, but when you open your mouth it’s laughter that comes out. You’re healthy. You’re alive. You barely notice the IV line literally falling off of your skin because the hole where it entered your vein is sealed shut and healed perfectly.

No more needles. No more hospitals. Even without all the monitors beeping out your heart rate and measuring your vitals, there’s not a shred of doubt in your mind that you’re cured.

“Thank you!” you laugh, looking up at Overhaul and for the first time, not caring that he’s evil incarnate. “I feel—I’m okay! It worked!”

“Of course it did.” His expression is inscrutable, but he lets you have a few moments to enjoy your newfound health.

You roll your shoulders back, flex each muscle you can isolate one by one to test, make fists with your fingers and then run them over your hair, which is already thicker and shinier than it was a moment ago. Your body thrums with energy—you want to run, to feel the ground against your bare feet and the cold night air on your face, and you think you could do it! Your legs are already swinging over the side of your cot, ready to run barefoot out of the hospital if that’s what it takes, but before you can stand up Overhaul’s pushing you back down onto the bed.

“Have you forgotten your end of the bargain already?”

Honestly you did forget, but only for a second, only because you were so excited to just be outside again. “Oh, yeah. Of course.” Your hand goes to your left ring finger, ready to slip the ring off and hand it over, but Overhaul shakes his head.

“Not here.”

“What—?”

You’re falling. Your hospital room is disappearing, the image of your walls and your window and your bed disintegrating into yawning black, and you’re falling through it into nothing, into emptiness, and Overhaul’s still-bare hand in yours is the only anchor you have so you clutch onto it and squeeze your eyes shut. You want to scream—that’s the sane thing to do when you’re falling through miles and miles of empty space, right?—but when you open your throat the sound is swallowed up just like the light was…

Overhaul’s hand burns into yours, an improbable lifeline that you pull closer more out of terror than conscious thought. The slick, empty air rushes around you and you think I am going to die like this and then, incredibly, as soon as you’ve accepted your imminent demise, you feel your back mold onto a chilled, flat surface, vertebra by vertebra up to the back of your head, as if you’ve been lain down onto it.

Your heart thuds in your ears and you brace for an impact because your body hasn’t quite accepted yet that it’s not falling anymore—but at the same time, you know you’re lying down on something. You pry your fingers away from their vice-grip on Overhaul’s arm and feel around blindly for what’s underneath you, and when it seems reasonably tangible you let yourself open your eyes.

Way above, vaulted dozens of feet over your head, is a ceiling studded with gilt-edged frescoes and stained glass. It’s raining (even though it wasn’t in the hospital, you think) but through the massive panes of colored glass there’s enough oily blue light to make out that you’re in a church.

You’re in a church, with a demon. Isn’t that against the rules?

You sit up stiffly and look over at Overhaul, who’s standing at your side and looking down at you…which is how you realize the soft, cold surface you’ve been deposited onto is the blanket on top of the altar in the sanctuary. “Where...did you take me?”

“You should know this place.”

And you do, when you look around. It’s empty now and you’ve never been here at night, but this is a church your mother would bring you to when you were little, back before the disease got so bad you couldn’t risk traveling to it anymore. This is where you took your purity vow…the ring feels heavy on your hand. “Why—why—“

“I can’t stand human hospitals. Filthy places… How that reek of illness and death doesn’t bother your kind, I’ll never understand.” Overhaul pulls his latex glove back on. He’s dressed differently now, no longer impersonating a doctor—black shirt, black pants, and a…bird mask in red leather and gold. So are you, as a matter of fact. Instead of your hospital gown, you’re in a gauzy white dress that’s already been pushed up to pool around the tops of your thighs.

The slip is too thin for the cold, and you can feel your nipples standing up under the cloth so you fold your arms over your chest and hug yourself. “Why did you take me here?” The sound of your voice echoes off the walls eerily and you wish you hadn’t spoken so loudly. The reflection of your words sounds girlish, nervous.

“I told you. Your side of our contract.” Even in this dark, the angular features of his face are clearly concentrating—on you. “Are you already having second thoughts? Such a fickle little thing…”

“You mean the ring?” You reach for it again, ready to tear it off and throw it at him if that’s what it takes to see your deal through, but Overhaul snatches your hand away, pinning it above you.

“Not the ring,” he says. “The promise.”

The…promise?

A chill makes its way down your spine despite the heat radiating off the demon’s body and onto yours. “I don’t understand.”

“The promise,” Overhaul repeats—and you hear a sound almost like wings flapping and then he’s on the altar with you, knees straddling your hips as a single hand holds both your wrists above your head. “To remain a virgin until marriage. Your promise to God.”

A streak of lightning cracks down on the other side of the stained glass window behind the altar, illuminating the room briefly in spectacular pits of red and orange and yellow…and then it’s dark again, and the only color you can make out is the gold in Overhaul’s eyes.

“I’m going to break it,” he murmurs, lowering his head toward your ear right as the answering thunder rolls through the sanctuary, up through the altar, up into you.

///

Méfiez-vous de son piège, the grimoire said. Beware of the catch.

Of course it wasn’t just a ring.

Overhaul’s fingers are in—inside you, his middle and ring finger pumping through the length of your cunt like they belong there, like you were made to be touched this way. A mixture of your juices and your own spit cling to the latex because he made you suck his fingers before he put them in you and he hasn’t bothered to take his gloves off—not that you asked. You’ve been too busy biting your lip to try and muffle the moans that he keeps forcing out of you. He’s bracing himself on top of you with one hand and fingering you with the other, so your own hands are free to push into your eyes and hide your face…until he yanks your arm back and stops.

“Look at me.”

Your eyes are screwed shut and you shake your head back and forth, the movement shuddering your whole body right down to your pussy wrapped around Overhaul’s fingers. He slows the movement and kneels back, pushing one of your thighs up into your chest as he does it.

“Look at me.”

And you’re not sure whether it’s some unearthly power he has over you or the plain old deterioration of your willpower, but you can’t refuse him. You crack your eyes open and he’s glaring down at you, skin pale as ice in the blue light. Once he’s satisfied that you’re watching, the demon leans back in to fuck your cunt with his fingers, slowly at first and then quicker when he hits something inside of you—a spot, a place on the inner wall of your pussy that makes you feel like you’ve been shocked— heat blooms through you like blood in water and you gasp and he curls his fingers up to pet over that spot again.

“Wait—wait, that’s—it feels—weird!” You’ve never felt like this before. You’re not supposed to feel like this, it’s wrong.

“I understand you’ve never touched yourself, but don’t pretend you don’t like it.” Overhaul says, voice as indifferent and calm as ever even though your cunt is dripping clear sticky liquid over the plastic of his glove.

He pushes back in and grinds his palm over the little button on the top of your pussy—your clit?—and you want to scream. “No, I—I don’t—nnhh...”

Do you like it? The demon’s body is so hot next to yours, like he’s running a fever except you’re the one going out of your mind… You’ve heard metaphors for sexual pleasure before (that it’s like having something to drink when you’re dying of thirst; or that it’s the ultimate act of intimacy, love in physical form) but all of that’s a fucking lie. There’s nothing to compare it to, no reference that makes sense, because it doesn’t make sense—you don’t even want him to keep going, do you? You’re only doing this because you signed your name on a devil’s contract, because you don’t want to die and there’s no alternative…but that doesn’t explain why you feel so warm from the inside out, why you’re squirming and your hips are rocking involuntarily no matter how much you try to keep still. This isn’t right. You feel like you’ve been lied to.

A good girl wouldn’t like this.

Overhaul isn’t going to let you close your eyes, so you don’t—but the sounds coming out of your mouth are so…indecent (and how can you think these things about yourself? the word feels like someone else is saying it when you hear it in your head) that your hand is drifting up to your mouth before you can stop yourself, trying to stifle all of it…

“Let your voice out. I want you to hear yourself moan.”

Long fingers slide their way out of your pussy and then move up to rub quick little circles around your clit and you moan, like a whore, like a girl getting her cunt rubbed by a demon— “Oh, uhhhn—something, it’s—coming—“ There’s something building up in your core—a peak, a climax, something that makes you fist your hands in the nightgown he put you in (so tight you’re surprised the thin fabric hasn’t torn) and tilt your hips up into him, begging without words because you don’t have any to express what your body is asking for…

But he doesn’t give it to you. Overhaul takes his hand away from your pussy and the shock of the cool air after his too-hot touch is almost enough to send you over that edge—almost. Not quite. And without it, you’re left shivering and quaking, thighs twitching as your baser instincts beg you to just put your hand between your legs for once and hump your fingers to completion if the demon won’t do it.

You’re not going to risk that, though. Not when Overhaul’s dragging your body closer, bunching up the blanket on the altar under your spine, so your pelvis is angled to his… He’s already shirtless and you hear him unzipping his pants but you can’t bring yourself to actually look at him, even when you feel something hard and hot nudging up against your inner thigh and then aligning to your sticky wet slit.

“This will hurt a bit, but I want you to look,” he says, and you don’t even understand at first until you make yourself feel it—his cock, pushing up against your tight cunt to finish this, this perversion of what your first time was supposed to be…

And what was it supposed to be? Roses and candles and soft kisses? A nameless, faceless husband unzipping your wedding dress and making love to you with the lights off? The way the demon touches you should be cruel in comparison but it isn’t, it’s lighting fires under your skin and turning your brains to mush, so how is your body supposed to tell the difference?

It’ll hurt, you know that, you’ve heard enough about sex to know that it always hurts the first time for girls…women. It was already a stretch to fit his fingers in your virgin pussy, so of course his cock is going to hurt. You turn your head toward the window at your side and try on look out at the rain drawing rivulets like veins over the glass, something to focus on instead of him.

“I said look,” the demon hisses, and his hips push forward a bit and you bite off a whimper of pain. “Watch me take your virginity…look at your tight little cunt swallowing me up just like it was made to.”

“N-No—“ you whine, even though it’s not like you can ignore it. “Don’t make me, don’t make me look, I can’t—“

“Then look at me.”

It’s what he wants, some kind of wicked satisfaction he gets off on, but you’re lucky enough to even get an option so you choose that one, shifting your gaze up into his face instead of the place where his cock is pressing deeper and deeper inside you. Overhaul’s eyes are half-lidded and it’s hard to tell from behind the mask but the look on his face is…pleasure? No, that would be too human. Restraint, at least. He could just thrust up into your body in one stroke, but he wants you to feel it for some reason.

Maybe because it’s a worse betrayal of your chastity if you want to get fucked.

Lucky for you, though, you can barely feel anything aside from the pain. The heat you felt building earlier is draining out of you even as Overhaul tilts deeper, layering his chest over yours. You’re almost grateful for the modest barrier the dress provides between your torso and the solid muscle of his abdomen. His cock in your pussy feels like it’s too big too deep too much and it’s the first time you’ve felt like your body wasn’t created specifically for this purpose so you hold it tight.

“Does it hurt?”

A second of clarity makes you want to snarl (of course it fucking hurts, I’m losing my virginity to a demon I summoned from hell) and you dig your fingernails into your palms to stop yourself from saying it out loud. Overhaul pulls out a fraction of an inch and then pushes back in and you feel like the breath’s being pushed out of your lungs. “Yes! Yes, it—it hurts—“

“I can make you enjoy it…for a price,” he sighs, settling into a slow rocking motion of his hips pushing into yours.

And you want to, every sore muscle in your cunt is telling you to give in and give up, give him what he wants so you can enjoy it like he says—but you’d rather hate every second of this than make another deal. You shake your head quickly and because you’re still too afraid to look away from him, you don’t miss the look of surprise that flits across his face before he tamps it down. “I don’t—I don’t want to—like it,” you gasp out between thrusts. “It’s better if—if it h-hurts…”

This time it’s obvious—his eyes really do widen, and you feel some petty triumph at having caught him off guard like this. Who’s predictable now? you think—and then he’s lifting one hand off the altar at the side of your head and tugging his glove off with his teeth, and you don’t even have time to be afraid of what he’s going to do to you because it’s too late, his bare fingers are already stroking over your mound and onto your core, massaging into the flesh of your stomach so he can feel his own cock sliding in and out of you—

and it doesn’t hurt anymore?

You only have a second to try and understand—he cured you, he healed the pain from your first time just like he healed your illness?—before he hooks his grip under your thigh and folds your legs into your chest so he can fuck into you harder than before. His cock slaps into your pussy and you can hear it, hear how wet your filthy little cunt is, smeared through with your juices. It’s sick—the sound of skin against skin, and the moaning you can’t hold back, you sound like a woman in a porno and you wish the pain would come back just so you could keep hating what he’s doing to you. “What—what did you do—“

The demon ignores you. “It feels good, doesn’t it.”

“Nn—“ It’s deeper like this…deeper and rougher and you can feel it. Now that the pain’s been reduced to the dull ache of a stretched muscle, you can feel everything—his cock sliding against that same spot in your cunt that makes you want to squeal, the friction of his body moving against your clit, all of it, everything you wanted to block out— he pumps into you and you hear your breath sobbing out a moan a second out of rhythm, the sounds of you bouncing on demon cock echoing over the walls. “Please—ah, ahhh…”

“‘Please?’ Are you begging—me, little girl?” Overhaul pushes your thigh up and drags his cock through you, excruciatingly slow, forcing you to feel the thick head slide over every gummy wall in your slick pussy.

You shake your head, mewl, try to force your hips to stop rocking back into his and grinding your clit against him. But you can’t. You’re a—you were a virgin, for fuck’s sake! Overhaul’s immortal. Probably thousands of years of experience on how to make you feel like you want this, like you’re only alive in the places he touches you… You’re at his mercy, if he has any. You never stood a chance.

“Then are you begging your god?” His body lowers directly onto yours and like you’re being controlled by puppet strings your arms fold around him and rake your fingernails uselessly into the smooth skin of his back. You can feel the vibration of his mirthless laughter through his chest. “It must hurt terribly…to know he isn’t listening.”

“Don’t—stop, please,” you sob. “Don’t say—don’t stop—please!”

“Listen to yourself, girl—“ Overhaul’s breath is faster now, but you don’t have time to question it because you feel your peak coming again, the tension rising up through your cunt and your abdomen, harsher and crueler than when his fingers were in you but you want it just as much. More. “Has he ever answered your prayers? Has he...ahh, fuck—who’s the one giving you what you need?”

“No— please, please just let me let me, please—“ You’re talking nonsense now, begging for the release—at least then it’ll be over, and you need it, you need it so badly you feel your muscles locking up, cramping, your ankles crossing each other behind Overhaul’s back.

“Good girl,” the demon breathes, and then he lifts off you so he’s kneeling upright with the two of you still connected, his thick, heavy cock still speared in your pussy, and his fingers come down again to rub at your clit. Everything’s so wet you can hear the motion of his fingers slicking themselves through your juices, sliding up and down the little button over and over and it feels so good that a tiny part of you almost wants to drag it out, to savor it, but the rest of your body is going to die, is going to go crazy if the demon doesn’t let you cum right now, right now, right now!

And he does. Praise the Lord. The pads of Overhaul’s fingers pass over your clit one last time and your head rolls back, your throat moves but you can’t even make a sound, your legs shake and you cum.

You didn’t know it was like this.

Your cunt squeezes down on his cock, throbbing and pulsing and your toes literally curl (you didn’t think that was a real thing!) and your vision goes black for a moment and—oh fuck oh fuck i want this i want more how is it possible that i’ve never felt like this—you understand, more intimately than ever, why sex is wrong:

because nothing that makes you feel this good could possibly come without a cost, could it?

///

It must take longer than you thought for you to come back to your senses, because when you regain awareness of your body you’re in your hospital bed. You’re clean, too, and you wonder for a second if Overhaul bothered to clean you up? Or no…he probably just snapped his fingers and transported you back to your room. You’re not really sure how it works.

What you are sure of, however, is that you just got fucked by a demon. You’re sore in places that you didn’t know it was possible to be sore, and there are already bruises forming on the flesh of your thighs from how tight he was holding you. You don’t really have time to inspect these, though, because apparently your…ordeal (if you can call it that) isn’t over.

Overhaul’s still here.

He’s facing the hints of sunrise through the east window, dressed again in the immaculate lab coat and surgeon’s mask. “You’re awake,” he says without looking at you.

You nod hesitantly. You’re not really sure what the protocol is in this situation, but at least you’ve finally held up your side of the contract, right? And so has he. Despite having been up all night doing sinful things, you’re still itching to get out of this bed and test the limits of your healthy body. “You’re…going to leave, right?”

“Yes—”

At that, you sigh in relief and settle back into your starched bedsheets.

“But there’s one more thing you owe me.”

“Goddamnit,” you swear for the very first time in your life. After what you just did, taking the Lord’s name in vain seems like a relatively minor sin.

Overhaul’s mildly irritated expression doesn’t change, but he holds his hand out to you, palm up, the way you imagine someone would if they were helping you out of a car or requesting a dance at an old-fashioned ball. And really, you want all of this to be over—you want to get out of this hospital, you want to taste what the air outside is like, you want to distract yourself from what you just gave up in exchange for a future. At this point you’re just going to have to hope God isn’t as picky about the whole premarital sex thing as you grew up believing.

So you put your hand in Overhaul’s.

Slowly, carefully, like he’s afraid it’ll burn him, he slides your purity ring down your finger and balances it in the palm of his bare hand. It sizzles when he touches it, glowing orange until it eventually burns down into a ash-black circle in the center of his palm. Once he’s satisfied that your pretty little ring has been reduced to nothing more than a scorch mark, he closes his hand around yours and you feel something sharp, painfully hot, etching onto your finger.

It’s over in a second, but you still yelp and yank your hand away from him as soon as he lets you. “Ah—ow, what was that?”

He burned you, he literally burned you! He’s already healed it, but there’s still a thin, pale scar, an intentional one left wrapping around the skin at the base of your left ring finger. Like a wedding ring.

When you look close, you can make out a symbol on the back of your finger where the cross used to sit—and even though your conscious mind doesn’t recognize it, the sight of it rings out something inside your ribcage, deeper and truer than flesh and blood. It’s the devil’s mark, you think. It’s his.

“…A promise,” Overhaul says softly, and even though it’s a chilly morning, you can feel the heat of his hands on yours a long time after he vanishes back into the dark.