#anyway im just fucking lonely. it's fine it's fine it's fine
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Some of the losses that hurt the most are the ones you pushed away by being just a little too earnest at the wrong time
#personal#ignore me#my writing#i am once again coming to you at Sad Bitch O'Clock in the AM#begging you to slap me in the face and tell me not to message my ex#because it is still too soon to tell him that i miss being his friend.#he does not miss me at all#and if i want any remote chance of being friends with him ever again in the future#my best bet is to NOT show anything at all right now#while he's still skittish and debating whether to cut me out entirely#i am Stupid. it is known.#i have a history of ruining friendships by wanting too much too soon#...thats why i have no close friends right now.#well. one of the reasons anyway#the other is because i finally grew a backbone and set boundaries lmao#anyway im just fucking lonely. it's fine it's fine it's fine#this too shall pass#crying myself to sleep at 2:30 in the morning is very much not the time to send him that
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whump episode of all time look at this poor baby
#whump episode of all time until vanquishers that is#anyway i think postpotd when yaz has moved into the doctors house being sick is totally one of the ways she asks for attention#like she figures out that pretty reliaby if somethings wrong with her the doctor will be all over her#so if she starts to feel a bit lonely and abandoned and neglected among all the family and companion extended family#shes like hm. minor illness time#not that she'd be dramatic abt it. she wouldnt be obvious abt it#she would i think even hide it a little bit. just enough to make the doctor notice shes a bit off#she'dbe like no im fine its fine dont worry abt it#but you know. once he knows smths wrong hes not gonna let it go and she knows that too so thats how she hooks him#and then shes like the centre of his attention for a week or so and thats enough for the next couple of months#she /is/ a little bit master-y after all#and he /is/ still called the doctor. 'how else would i get your attention?'#how else but giving yourself a little food poisoning.or going swimming in winter and get hypothermia. or jump out of a tree and break an ar#how else#ive got so many headcanons#secret slightly fucked up yasmin who lives in my head <3
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Not sure if I'll be doing anything more for artfight this year I am. suffering. sorry :(
#my posts tag#work stress making me panic because i dont want to work and i dont know how to run a business#i hate living w other people?!!? so much???????????#im isolated and lonely but also social interaction with ppl is hard and makes me feel ill#body image hater brain is also being really hard to ignore lately too!!#AND my bf hauve covid. for the first time ever. i dont have the energy to take care of him as i am busy mentally kms#and withdrawls still. and the new med isnt working.#and i have to be anxious about not being able to afford either new or old med#because of withdrawals. i think at least. intrusive thoughts are fucking UNIGNOREABLE i cannot swioe away the fucking mental notification#its auto playing loud videos in my head. healp#and i honestly dont enjoy art anymore. or anything at all really.#games and stuff i previously loved are announcing new stuff that should be exciting but its just burnout and fomo#i have no money and no income and it makes me feel awful even tho like yeah im didabled n finding work is fucking impossible??#been in bed like 2 days and when im not asleep im sewer slidal yaaaay#anyways all that was mostly for me. sorry#i have moments of faith and reassurance like yeah this IS a waste of my energy i KNOW itll be fine lol? but i cant. hold onto it.#and that specifically might be system related but so frustrating. can we please work together.
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#hii.. im still not really here a lot re kpop its just not really like the most important thing in my life rn lol#but uh i guess my dog's passing is something i gotta deal on my own entirely. my mom seems pretty much over it without really taking me int#account at all. today shes even sorta like. making odd comments/jokes about it like 'i talk to toto sometimes' because we say this#weird lady on tv talking ab how she talks to deer heads. and i just stared at my mom like deadpan and just looked away#bc what the fuck. and ofc she wouldnt consider its not an ok thing to say . otherwise shes really like trying to make out that im being a#really good kid and taking care of her and her feelings bc shes inventing things in her head about me being extra nice and careful with her#shes like awww youre taking care of me <3 and im like no im actually treating you like you're a total stranger in my house because you#basically are. and anyway. im basically on my own like i always am. i just have to deal with it all alone. as always. which is like fine#its just im extra lonely and alone so <3 ive also been suicidal and really really on the edge. that's your alex update if anyone cares#to be completely honest it's been taking everything in me not to just od right now its all i can think about and i havent felt like it in#years. ive just been sleeping for 12 hours at a time lmao........ anyway yeah thats it?#mrow.org
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overthinking about a silly stupid poll which shouldnt actually be upsetting but well.
#the trauma u know. its the rate your attractiveness on a scale of one to 10 poll because i want to be#kinder to myself and my body but ive been told all my life that im disgusting and hideous and ugly#by so many of my peers and adults and the only time someone has been quote unquote attracted to me was my abuser assaulting me.#and then theres a whole other thing with this other girl i knew giving me a number rating score day by day about#how annoying she thought i was and how ugly i was and how close i was to being her friend. because i was so lonely and wanted#friendship so badly#even if she was fucking awful and pushed me into a fucking pond i was just a sad lonely kid and wanted a friend. anyway its fine#im just thinking about it all
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sure sure everyone can unfollow me for talking too much about wham! but have u even considered how it is for me in my brain right now hm????
#personal thingys#everybodys friends without me and hates me <- my anxiety a known liar!!!!#no im just lkasjdflkjasdf its fine#just been in a lonely uhhh mood and this site isn't helping but its FINE. anyway already did enough reading cleaning and exercising today#just need to.........fuck maybe its time to get back into writing whoops
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STILL HAVING SUCH A NORMAL ONE ABOUT THAT RGGJO BUT NO Y7JO GETTING REALLY GOOD AT HOUSEWORK I SEE THE VISION… I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down…
Because I've always wondered how unprepared Jo would've been going into everything. On one hand, he did leave home really young, but since he was working and Ikumi wasn't, one could argue Ikumi would've been the one to handle the housework at least while they were together.
Inversely, I do kiiind of feel like Jo would've done at least Some Things when he could to ease the burden on Ikumi based on his attempt to comfort her at the station. I'm reading way too much into it but it's notable that, despite him definitely being a smoker and them hoping for a miscarriage, the ashtray in their apartment is spotless.
But we only really see his living situation when he's with Ikumi and don't get to see what--if anything--changes when he's on his own, when he has to do everything and not just Some Things. But with regard to food, if you're in survival mode like that, while it is more economical to make food at home, it would make sense that any quality of cooking would be passable. That's not going to fly with a kid who's lived in the lap of luxury his whole life.
So I've always had a lot of feelings about Jo Bettering Himself for Masato's sake (even when Masato isn't necessarily being reasonable) and his overblown neurosis at the prospect of falling short--the post you mentioned in your tags is Exactly It. But, you know, it's cheesy, but I firmly believe he could do whatever he set his mind to, if he can manage to learn Every Martial Art and become a glorified (and very competent) accountant after dropping out of high school.
Also uhhhhhhhh entire post reminded me of this (びら on Pixiv) that's it that's the ask
Ok I'm glad we both caught on to Jo's attempt to console Ikumi and the considerably-clean home. Evidently he was probably self-sufficient enough, but nothing extraordinary- just whatever passed as 'suitable' for them, so it's not as though he's going in totally clueless (but certainly not knowledgeable enough to match Masato's extremely-high standards. Bless Arakawa but he definitely spoiled him a little).
Even if it is a 'cheesy' sentiment, Jo very much has proven that so long as it's for Masato, he's willing to do anything and everything no matter how big (joining the yakuza) or small (probably like. learning how to make quiche)
#snap chats#I WANTED TO REPLY TO THIS LAST NIGHT BUT I GOT A BAD STOMACH BUG EW i'm fine now tho :]#ALSO very happy to see you liked the RGGJo i posted- i definitely hoped you would lkarejlvkej#anyway neglected kids usually pick up on how to do basic things for themselves- some dont obvi#but if jo's ready to lay asphalt on the road by 15 then he probably took like. five minutes to learn how to crack an egg for himself#my favorite Lonely Child's meal growing up was simple yakimeshi- def not a hard meal to make so i imagine he can do at least that#but i can just very clearly see in my brain jo just becoming appalled at his son's standards#cause i mean. on the one hand He's Definitely In Great Hands Now but on the other hand Oh God He Was In REAL Great Hands How The Fuck#ah... now i just really wanna do something with this whole topic it's one of my faves cause it amuses me so much#makes me think plenty.. im sure jo felt a great deal of inadequacy when he finally got to see the full of masato's new life#cause surely- in his eyes- he probably never would have been able to give him such a pleasant life how can he live up to this#just more reason to try harder and assimilate into properly that life right#a small unrelated aside tho now that we're talkin bout ikumi i wonder what she would've done if she did get masato back#i mean they really didnt have means to take care of him but still.. i wonder if she misses him#maybe /i/ care too much about ikumi verALKEJ#FINAL NOTE BACK ON TRACK THOUGH pixiv tells me ive seen this post before but i have no memory of it#but thats EXACTLY the vision and its so cute.. that's how it is in my heart#thanks for writin in and indulgin my goofy ass LMAO
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udgdjfnfkusjdbdvcnxdhdhhgh
#starting to feel so bad again im abt to rip my entire skin off they should make a me that isnt in constant fucking pain#sick of making posts complaining thats all i do at weekends apparently!!!!!!!!!!#at least ill be back at work tmr so ill have shit to do and u wont have to see all this bullshit all the time#i was so stupid to think meds would help emotionally like yeah the first two weeks were better but everyone said there was a honeymoon#period and after that it fades and im back to dealing with the exact same shit ive dealt with for ten fucking years#laura marling was so real for old stone ten thousand years and youre still on your own but you love dont you love it this way!!!#having a normal one 👍#or atwoods my darling when the light fails and the fog rolls in and youre trapped in your overturned body [...] and the red flame is#seeping out of you igniting the pavement beside your head [...] none of us is [the favourite child] else we all are#i need to suck it up and pull my fucking shit together i cant keep doing this#i dont think theyre even helping me focus anymore its been so bad this week. at least im going back to the other one tmr#and maybe itll stabilise and help again and if it doesnt im giving up#i dont know if any of it is med related bc im like this without them anyway. ohhhh my head#i just wish i wasnt so alone i wish they actually cared i can deal when its bad but bad and lonely is so so much worse and im tired#i cant even make sense anymore whatever. just venting its all fine ill get past it i always do#.vent
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Ayyee haunted by amatonormativity hour
#🪐.txt#why do you exist#ugh. amatonormativity makes me so sad and lonely and bitter#even if i have multiple and diverse relationships without having THE 'one' and be happy with that#the majority of society would view that as wrong and like. ik i shouldn't care abt strangers' opnions but it still hurts#yknow?#like. thinking abt how one day many of my friends will find a partner and even if they dont think like that. outsiders will be probably view#me as. idk how to word this. as a third wheel who is in the way of their friends' relationships hurts#prob i will be that#and it hurts#also somehow related- i can view myself getting married but i wouldn't view said married partner as my most important person#but still its kinda funny and annoying how most people would assume otherwise#actually. the only context in which i would use 'my most important person' would be if i had a child. cuz thatd be my duty as parent#anyways i just needed to vent a lil bit. now im better and came back to 'i dont fucking care' mood. so im fine.#that's why i call haunted by the amatonormativity hour. its temporary.#im happy that im lucky enough to be aroace. i got the chance to open my eyes to countless forms of relationships that arent more or less#from another#that rocks
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𝖒𝖞 𝖋𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖎𝖘 𝖌𝖗𝖊𝖊𝖓
✧˖*°࿐ : 18+ only, no minors. ✧. ┊ plug!ryusei shidou x f!reader
Genre: smut Notes: iiiiiii want him n need him desperately ♡ i made him icky, manipulative and dress like pete davidson warnings: 18+, (soft?)dom!shidou, sub!reader, dubcon, drug use (weed), blowbacks/shotgunning, reader has pubes!, ryusei has a gold tooth, virgin!reader, corruption kink, dumbification?, fingering, blowjob, head pushing ♡, male masturbation, use of nii-chan (not referring to ryusei), slight dacryphilia, shush!kink, praise, pet names, cum eating ♡, he calls your pussy 'her', slut used once. words: 7.1k
“No way am I coming over. Your big brother would kill me.”
Ryusei can’t stop himself from smirking when he can hear your attempt to conceal a whimper. And he just knows there’s a plump little pout on that pretty little face on the other end of the line.
He’s been dealing to your brother for years, they’re basically best friends if you subtract the client aspect from the equation. They smoke together, they’re always hanging out and Ryusei isn’t a stranger to the apartment you and your brother share.
“How did you even get my number anyway, darlin’? Reaaaal naughty of ya to be calling me like this. Gonna be in big trouble if I tell your nii-chan.” he tells you. And this time you hear the smirk behind his voice. He’s teasing you. He’s toying with you, but you still can’t stop yourself from becoming paralysed with fear.
“He gave me it for emergencies! Please don’t tell ‘im!” you sigh. “He’s on some weekend work trip because he’s tryna get a promotion. I’m just lonely…”
“Awe, and why is that my problem?” he asks, harshly. It takes you aback slightly though your determination doesn’t falter. You take a deep breath and try to formulate a response in your mind.
“You guys are always havin’ fun together… but you never let me join in. I wanna have fun with you too, Ryusei—”
“No.”
“But—”
“I said no.” he stands firm and shows no signs of backing down. He hears the little deflated exhale you release, and he licks his lips as he thinks. He doesn’t want you to be sad, but he knows fucking around with a client’s sister behind his back is a stupid fucking idea. “You’ll be alright on your own. Why don’t you invite one of your friends over.”
“W-Well… I just wanted to see you.” you tell him, honestly. “I— I wanted to try smoking with you.”
He chuckles when he hears that. It hasn’t been a discreet crush you’ve harboured since you saw him for the first time. You may have thought otherwise, but Ryusei has always known. He kisses his teeth and laughs again as he thinks about this tantalising proposition being thrown onto his lap.
“You’re really tryna get into trouble this weekend, huh? Do you always invite drug dealers over?” he wonders, knowing the answer already. He knows you’re a good girl who always does as her nii-chan says. But today you want to let your hair down. Today you can let your hair down because he isn’t here for the whole weekend. You can be a little naughty and reckless and have some fun for a change. “Are you that lonely, baby? Jus’ want some company?”
“… Y-Yes. ‘m lonely…” your lower lip wobbles as you think about being in the same apartment all by yourself for the next two days. You’re fine now, it’s only 12:30pm. But what about when it gets dark out? You’re a stupid girl who lets her mind run wild with the possibilities of ghosts and home invaders. You’ve seen one too many horror movies while your brother and Ryusei are high in the front room for no regard to your taste in genre. You hate horrors but you’ve seen so many thanks to them. And now your mind is racing. What if you got kidnapped or killed for the fun of it? “I don’t wanna be alone, Ryusei… ‘m so scared.”
He grits his teeth, resolve crumbling as he thinks about you all alone in the apartment he’s spent so many nights in. So many pointless nights where he could have been out making more money or fucking a multitude of girls who don’t hide their attraction for him. So, is he really about to sacrifice the same for you?
Lonely, frightened, you?
“Well, we can’t have that, can we? I’ll be there in twenty.”
Now that he’s here you’re not sure what you were thinking. You’ve never smoked before. You’ve not even had a sip of alcohol before! But you know drugs are Ryusei’s whole life right now. Selling, buying and occasionally consuming. He locks the door behind himself as he enters. He’s wearing a wide grin as he comes in and approaches you.
He thinks you’re just the sweetest little thing.
Your feet walk you backwards as he gets closer to you, lunging forward to grab you when you almost trip over your pink Kirby slippers that your brother got you for your most recent birthday.
“Clumsy girl.” he grins, gripping into the fat of your underarms. He leads you over to the couch and more or less throws you down onto it. He dumps his backpack on the coffee table. “What time does your brother come home, sweetheart?” he asks, not even looking your way as he takes out his belongings and spreads them out on the table.
“Uh—” you think, eyes squinting as you look up at the ceiling and try to act natural. “Monday… morning.” you tell him.
“Well, I’m sure he won’t mind if I keep you company ‘til he gets back, right?”
“R-Right…” you aren’t so sure about that, but you’re hardly going to disagree with him. Though in truth, he knows he’ll be furious. But the time he cared about your pathetic brother’s opinion has been and gone. What kind of man would he be if he left a poor defenceless thing like you all on your lonesome in such a sketchy part of town?
You watch him carefully as he pulls out a grinder, some papers, and a large baggie of weed and puts them all down on the table. Your mind wanders as he describes the effects to you, none of it is computing. And it gets even worse when he starts talking about different strains doing different things. As far as you were aware, weed was just… weed. You’d never heard about strains or effects. All of your knowledge comes from movies. Tripping, munchies, all of the cliché stuff.
He grins when he sees your dumb expression. Of course you’re not understanding anything he says. All you need to know is that you’ll be okay because he’s here to look after you. He’s here to take you through it.
You watch him as he grinds it up in a tall metallic grinder. And seeing him roll is like witchcraft to you. It’s not like it’s the first time, but it’s the first time you’ve seen it up close. Your nii-chan always exiles you to your bedroom when they’re rolling and smoking. You’re only allowed out once they’re high, though it’s never stopped you peaking from the crack of your door.
Your eyes widen in disbelief as he holds eye contact with you while he licks the paper. Suddenly you’re looking anywhere but in his direction. He’s revelling in it, making you so uncomfortable and shy. You really are sweet ‘n innocent, huh?
“Here.” he hands it to you, his voice earning your attention and you look into his pink eyes before they drop to the blunt in his hand. You look back at him, confused, and he finds himself adjusting the baggy shorts he’s wearing in hopes that you haven’t noticed the way his cock jumps when you tilt your head so stupidly. “What? This is what you wanted.” he speaks, his defensive tone surprising you.
“But… I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never smoked before…”
“Never? Not even a cigarette?” he asks.
“Nothing… never smoked or had a drink or even been to a party. Nii-chan is too protective.” you pout. He wants to fucking ruin you. You’re so fucking cute and stupid he thinks he might cum in his underwear just from hearing you speak. You’re so obedient and it makes you so fucking stupid. As if you aren’t a grown woman who could get her own apartment and do whatever she wants. “Will you show me?” you speak, cutting through his thoughts.
He nods, effortlessly. He lounges back into the couch, legs spread wide as he lets the blunt balance between his lips. It’s lit instantly, and you can’t believe what a pro he is. He’s got one of those stupid lighters. The ones with the metal bit you have to spin with your thumb rather than one of the plastic ones you just push down. You can never use them. Your brother always lends them to you when you want to light a candle, but he always ends up lighting them for you.
“Get me somethin’ to use as an ashtray.” he tells you, it’s a rude demand rather than a request. But his lack of manners doesn’t stop you from immediately jumping to your feet and rushing over to the kitchen sink. You just washed your brother’s ashtray this morning. You smile happily as you hand it to him, clearly willing to do anything he asks whether he’s polite about it or not.
He takes a few more drags and flicks the ash every so often. And when he’s halfway through, he looks at you, expectantly.
“Your turn.” he tries to hand it to you again. You take it, and you flinch as he also forces the lighter into your palm. “You didn’t invite me over just to watch me smoke, did you? What, are you trying to take advantage of me?” he laughs, running his tongue along his top row of teeth. His golden canine twinkles at you, halting you from speaking for longer than you’d intended.
“It’s not like that! I just— I’m nervous, and I hate these lighters.” you explain. You stiffen as he rolls his eyes and adjusts his body, angling it to face you. His stare is harsh, bordering on agitated. It’s only fair, you think. He hadn’t planned on spending his day babysitting you or showing you how to do something so simple. “’m sorry.” you speak, it’s so quiet he almost doesn’t hear it. Almost.
“Open up.” he commands. You’re confused at first, and before you know it his rough thumb is tugging at the fat flesh of your lower lip. “I said: open up.”
You clear your throat and angle your body in a similar way to him. Although you’re nowhere near as tall or intimidating as him. You’re like a sullen little dormouse, respecting the orders of your master. Your lips part ever so slightly as he places the blunt between them. Your lips close around it, keeping it perched firmly between them. He can see lip gloss residue smearing on the paper; his depraved mind is going into overdrive. His lewd thoughts encompassing him, he needs to break free and focus on you before you start to ask more silly questions.
He tucks your hair behind your ears and away from your face. A brief thought crosses his mind of how embarrassing it would be to get caught by your brother because he singed your fucking hair.
“Don’t just suck it, yeah? Breathe it. You wanna feel it go in your chest, alright?” he asks you, it sounds like a reminder. Like he’d already told you this and he’s making sure you are listening this time. It’s hard not to when all you can focus on is him. How he’s staring at you. How he smells like cheap aftershave and weed. The smell of weed is revolting, truth be told, you aren’t sure how you’re going to be able to inhale it without gagging.
He flicks the lighter a few times and keeps an eye on your expressions and your breathing to make sure you’re doing it right. You look terrified.
And he likes it.
Your eyes get wider and wider the more you inhale, and he’s worried they might pop out of that pretty head of yours. You suck and you breathe in as much of the earthy smoke as you can until it embraced your lungs like an invader claiming its new home. He can’t hide his laughter when you begin to choke, realising you are the good girl you’re claiming to be and absolutely have never smoked anything in your life.
“Everything hurts.” you tell him, still coughing and sputtering out lingering smoke as your eyes water. “It tastes like shit…” you continue, covering your mouth as you can’t stop yourself from choking anymore. He gets up, handing the ashtray to you to balance the blunt in and he flees the scene of the crime without a word. He returns a few moments later with a glass of water, he even added in a few ice cubes for you.
“Think you’re all grown up because you’ve had your first puff?” he wonders, “Never heard you swear before, darlin’.” he finishes as he hands the glass to you.
“I swear… I’m allowed to swear, Ryu.” you answer defiantly.
Cute, he thinks. You really are trying to sound all big and bad for him. But he’s never going to take you seriously after that little display, you’re just a little girl trying to act tough. A cute girl trying to be the cool girl.
But you both know you’re far from cool. A cool girl wouldn’t care so much about pleasing her brother and being a good girl for him. A cool girl would do whatever she wants without fear of the consequences.
At least you’re trying, he thinks.
You glug and you glug until you soothe the suffocating dryness in your chest. He’s transfixed on a droplet of water clinging to the corner of your mouth, unable to tear his gaze as it begins to run down your face. And he can’t think of a cuter sight than you still trying to be the cool girl, wiping it away with the back of your hand before he can notice despite it being much too late for that.
“C-Can I do some more?” you ask him, big wet eyes blinking at him as you hope he’s still willing to guide you.
“Think you can handle it?” he asks. “Get some more water.” he commands, not even letting you answer first. It’s probably the right call, though, you’re hardly going to be accustomed to the feeling of smoke contaminating your insides after one heavy inhale.
You follow his pathing from moments before, getting yourself some water and fresh ice cubes before returning and facing him again. You drink so much; he grabs your wrist and moves the glass away from your lips before you down the whole thing.
He lets out a heavy breath as he holds the blunt and sees how your lips immediately part for him this time without being asked. Fast learner. His thumb pulls at the metal wheel twice, each time it sounds make your eyes flicker further open.
“Breeeathe.” he demands, and you obey. You take it waaaay better this time, holding it for longer after he pulls the lighter away and takes the blunt from your lips. “That’s it, atta girl.” he smiles as you slowly exhale, only coughing a little bit. Your little hands are immediately reaching for the glass of water you set down moments before.
“I feel…” you try and think, eyes darting around the room in search of the right words to use. Your eyes close without your permission, humming happily as you embrace the feeling, a cheery smile visible on your face. “Weird…” you giggle, deeming it the only appropriate word that springs to mind.
“Is that right, baby? Feelin’ weird?”
“Mhmm.” you sigh, dreamily, letting the feeling consume you wholly. You want to melt into the couch beneath your thighs; and you involuntarily begin to lean back into the plush leather before Ryusei stops you. “My eyes are hurting, Ryusei…”
“Mm, I’ll bet. They’re all bloodshot, princess. Think you’re high.” he smirks.
“Wan’ some more.” you tell him, reaching to take the blunt from his hold. He moves his hand away. The fat, brown joint just out of your tired reach. And fuck he can’t stop his cock from twitching when you don that pout. That pretty little pout that you can’t stop yourself from displaying any time you’re disheartened. “P—lea, p-please…” your lower lip juts out further.
“C’mere.” he instructs you, his empty hand patting at his adjacent thigh. He sees the hesitation in your eyes. The little protest lodged in your throat as you think what a bad idea this could be. Why does he want you to sit on his lap? Your heart is racing with possibilities. Is he going to try and kiss you? Or is it simply an easier position for him to help you smoke? “Move, baby, now.” his voice is firm, almost scary. Your movements are slow, but you find yourself moving on his order regardless.
You go to him, but he stops you as you try and sit nicely in his lap. It isn’t quite what he had in mind. He doesn’t want to baby you like the princess you want to be for him. You’re like a ragdoll as he positions you, limbs loose beneath his touch until you realise you’re straddling him. His legs are spread wide, relaxed, and you’re hovering above him a little.
“Open your mouth f’me.” you’re like a robot, complying with each and every command he issues without hesitation.
You’re too good, too perfect. And Ryusei Shidou is quite the opposite; he’ll ruin you if you aren’t careful.
But right now, you couldn’t care less.
Your dewy lips part, wider than they had earlier until Ryusei seems satisfied. He’s relieved you’re only hovering over him, or you’d have definitely felt the way his dick twitched at the sight of your pudgy lips widening for him.
He relaxes, fully, his own eyes becoming more bloodshot as the minutes go by. Weed doesn’t affect him like it used to, not in the way it’s affecting you. But he’s calm. All of his thoughts are collected, and he feels at peace. It’s probably the reason he’s being so brazen and not giving a second thought to the consequences of being with you anymore.
While you’re waiting for his vision to be realised, while you’re waiting for the reason as to why he wants you in this position with your lips spread, he lights up the blunt once again. You watch him through a heavy-lidded stare as he takes a hefty inhale.
You sense him planning something, the cogs whirring sinfully in his mind as he looks between your eyes and your lips as he inhales the smoke deeper and deeper into his lungs. He rests his arm over the rest of the couch, harbouring zero consideration for the potential ash staining the cream carpet below.
He tries to close the distance between your bodies, and you instinctively jolt away from him, your lips clamping shut just as quickly. As much as he wants to smile, to laugh, his lips remain neutral and sealed. His empty hand holds the small of your back. His fingers drift, trailing up the column of your spine. He flattens his palm between your shoulder blades, pushing your face and body closer to his. His right hand remains between your shoulder blades, the other coming around to tug your viscid lower lip until your mouth is ajar. He leans in, closer. The closest he’s ever been to you in the entire time you’ve known him.
He's going to kiss you.
Your heart is thumping, the intense beating, hammering your heart through blood, muscle tissue and flesh. Your eyes close instinctively, and at that, he does smirk.
His eyes alternate between yours, and your gloss covered lips. And then his are ghosting yours, not close enough to touch but not far enough for you to not feel their presence. His gaze becomes heavy, lustful as he observes you. He’s fixated on how you react as he blows the smoke from his lungs into yours.
Your eyes widen as you realise he isn’t kissing you, but your mind is hazy as you realise what he is doing. His lungs shrink as he empties them, but he doesn’t move. He smiles, though, and you fucking feel it. He’s waiting patiently to see just how desperate you are for him to kiss you.
Your breathing is intense. He can hear each breath you take through your nose as you try and compose yourself. You try and calm down and hide your burning shame from him. He knew what you’d assume and chose not to correct you. Just to see you squirm.
But you want to kiss him.
You want him to kiss you.
He chuckles lightly when he sees a nervous little gulp plummet down your throat, he’s sure if he blinked he would have missed it. He wonders if your eyes always vibrate so intensely when you’re nervous.
“Did you like that?” he whispers, his lips still inching away from yours. You feel each and every breath it takes for him to speak that sentence.
“Yeah…”
“Yeah?”
“Mm… mhmm…” you nod, eagerly and yet somehow still awkwardly. “D— Can you do it again?” you whisper. It’s so meek and downright precious he can feel pre fucking ooze out of his tip.
He adjusts his position, nodding, his lips almost catching yours but not quite before he pulls away to smoke some more. Your lips part beautifully and he’s smiling sinisterly yet again. His hand travels from your back to hold the crown of your head, you can’t back away this time, not that you’d want to. He’s keeping you in place as he slowly begins to puff smoke past your desperate lips.
You moan, involuntarily, as you feel your mind cloud and your body grow wearier. But still, you can’t get enough. You can’t fully satiate your desires of intoxication. Not with drugs. Not with attention. Not with touch. You need him. More of him.
“Baby?” you hear him mumble, his lips clumsily toying with yours as he refuses to fully close the gap between them. “I think ya wanna kiss me.”
You squeak, almost, a high pitch whine sounding through your nose as the uncomfortable statement surges through you. Were you so pitifully obvious the whole time? You lean in closer, attempting to close the separation between you. But he pulls away, ever the tease, and he can’t help but relish the whimper that claws its way up your throat.
“You ever even kissed anyone?” he asks, closing the gap once again. “Y’know, since you’re such a good girl.”
You feel the tips of your ears and face begin to sear with heat, embarrassment flooding through your blood. You nod, defiantly, doing all you can to assure him you’re not the big loser he seems to think you are.
“I have… ‘ve had boyfriends before… Ryu…” you tell him, though it’s still a little humiliating.
“So,” he starts, his hand holds your hip as he adjusts himself slightly. Thumb stroking your side calmly, despite his cock driving ever so gently into your core as he moves. Not hard enough to set off alarm bells, but just enough to leave a lasting impression. He bites lip and releases it just as fast as his eyes rake over you, and you feel so small under his stare, despite him being the one looking up at you. His fingers weave and comb through your hair until he gets a tight enough grip. Your noses are touching before he tilts his head, your lips barely lingering on one another’s as you each fight against fully committing. “If I kiss you right now, it’s gonna be worth my time?” he whispers.
In truth, it’s been a while since you kissed anyone. You haven’t had a boyfriend since high school and that seems like a lifetime ago now. But you don’t want to go another second without feeling his lips fully pressed against yours. So, you nod. It’s weak and unconvincing, but you nod anyway.
It’s enough for him. In truth, he wouldn’t have cared if you’d never been kissed before. He’d be more than happy to teach you, though he’s sure he’ll teach you plenty anyway. He’s going to turn you into a masterpiece; one that has been created only for him to enjoy.
His lips slot against yours and it’s like an explosion. You’ve been fucking starved for him, and you can barely remember to breathe as it intensifies. Suctioning sounds repeat as you kiss without stopping. Neither of you remember to come up for air until you’re gasping.
Your lips part divinely as his tongue pushes past them and it’s so rapturous as your little wet muscle meets his. He groans, loudly, as he licks and swipes all while you’re moaning pathetically into his mouth. He bets your soaked, he’s rock hard and leaking like a virgin getting his first hand job after all.
“Stick out your tongue.” he tells you, and like always, you do as you’re told. He licks at it, swirls his own tongue around it. He sucks it until he’s heady with lust.
His body collapses against the back of the couch, and like the perfect pet you follow him. You can’t stop making out with him now. You can’t possibly get enough. You doubt it would even be enough to crawl inside his skin and live out the rest of your days there.
You’re addicted to him.
He pushes your body down so that your crotch is fully pressed into his. The feeling of his throbbing cock almost entirely against your panty-clad mound is a surprise to say the least, you hadn’t expected it and your surprised expression gives you away instantly. But he doesn’t comment right away, instead, he grinds his crotch against yours as you carry on kissing. Your breath fans across his face, you’re delirious from the sensation of him being against you like this, you’ve never known anything quite like it.
“Feel what you’re doin’ to me?” he chuckles, parting away from you enough to look up at you again and lick his lips. But you chase him, you think you might stop breathing if you deny yourself of him. Your tongue pushes past the seam of his lips, and of course he doesn’t object. He feels your little wet muscle searching for something, and he can’t contain the amused scoff when he realises you were tracking down his gold tooth, the tip of your tongue licking it from behind all of the way to the front until you reach his gums. “Fuck… you’re filthy.” he informs you before kissing you again.
You giggle before he yanks at your hair. Flirtatious laughter being forced into a tantalising gasp, your head angled so that you’re looking up at the ceiling above. The column of your neck is almost enough to make him cum. It’s so fucking bare. So pure and untainted. He wants nothing more than to sink his teeth into you. To cover you in hickeys and bite marks so that everyone knows what he fucking did to you.
But he knows, deep down, it isn’t worth it. It isn’t worth the questions and the bullshit and the drama. Not this time, anyway. Instead, he leaves gentle kisses and soft suckles against your skin. His tongue leaves fat, wet stripes over your throat and pulse point, hot breath fanning over them between kisses. You’re keening for him as his lips begin to ascend. You’re shuddering against him as he breathes heavily, deliciously, into your ear. His hand drifts to squeeze your tit over your crop top as he continues to breathe thickly into your ear canal. The intensity forcing your skin to break out in goosebumps.
You mewl, and it’s a fucking siren song as he sucks on your earlobe. He drives his covered cock up into you as he takes the cartilage between his teeth, alternating between that and sucking like he’s trying to get milk from nipple.
“Does anyone else know what a naughty little thing you are?” he talks directly into your ear, thumb rubbing over the thin material of your top, your hardened nipples unfortunately hidden behind your push up bra. “Or do you only get like this f’me?”
“Jus’ you…” you sigh, your arm wraps around his neck so that you can hold his head the same way he had yours. Tiny little fingers toy with blonde and pink tufts, he groans slightly at the comforting feeling.
“Darlin’… you know you have to pay, don’tcha?” he asks. It’s so out of the blue, you push away from him. He grins as he watches the confusion and horror take over your facial expression. You were so blissfully at peace, lost in the feeling of his lips and his touch all over your body. “Drugs aren’t free, y’know.”
“B-But…” you think, panicking, “I— nii-chan only left me enough for emergencies…” you tell him, hoping he’ll take pity on you. He offers a fake little pout, tutting at your excuse. It’s so feeble and pathetic and he loves how easy it is to mess with you.
“Awe, baby.” he offers faux sympathy, his thumb stroking over your cheek yet again. “You better do what I say then, yeah? Gonna have to keep bein’ a good girl f’me, ‘n then we can forget the whoooole thing.”
“What do you want me to—”
He thrusts his hips up, and you lose balance, falling perfectly into his arms. He tugs at your crop top, urging you to take it off. You start pulling it upwards, though it’s too slow for his liking. He yanks it over your head, getting a quick eyeful of your tits and aqua blue bra before he sucks hard into the fat flesh of your breasts.
You’re too busy moaning, rolling your hips against him to notice he has unclasped your bra with one hand. He pulls carefully at the straps, ridding you of the material covering part of your modesty. He bites his lip and breathes heavily as he ogles them. You feel the way his cock pulses against your cunt.
“S’fuckin’ pretty—” he muses. You feel different, now. You’re fully on display for him and you are completely at his mercy. Your rational mind is telling you to give him the emergency money your brother left and send him on his way. But sadly for you, your poor neglected pussy wants him to stay and have his way with you. “You’ve gotta suck my cock, baby. Now.” he demands.
Your heartrate sky-rockets. Things are moving so fast you can barely process it at all. You look down between your thighs and see the ever-growing bulge in his shorts. Can you argue with him? Reason with him? It doesn’t matter either way, you’re already sliding carefully onto the ground and getting down on your knees between his spread legs. You aren’t sure where to start. Everything you think about doing dies a sudden death with each new idea that comes to the forefront of your mind.
“Pull it out, hurry up.”
Little hands shake as nimble fingers grip onto the waistband of his shorts. You pull and you pull and he lifts his body to help in your efforts. He almost grunts as his cock springs free, pearlescent pre leaking a ton from his twitching slit.
“Mmmm…” he moans as he grips his cock at the base, shaking it a few times so that the tip hits your nose softly, soupy liquid sticking to you as he does. “Be a good girl, show me how bad you can be.”
There’s not a single universe where you’re successfully concealing your apprehension from him, though he thinks nothing of it. He thinks you’re nervous because you’ve had a crush on him for quite some time now and you don’t want to disappoint him. Your hands carry on shaking as you grab onto his length. He’s huge, both of your little hands are holding him in your grasp and there’s still more of his thickness unable to be held.
You think to start off you should clean the tip; you lick and lave over his throbbing head and your face scrunches as you register the warm tanginess permeating your tastebuds.
His body almost dissolves into the couch as you start to take more and more of him. He shoos your hands away and holds himself so that you can balance your hands on his thighs. His free hand holds your head, forcefully attempting to shove you further and further down on his length until you’re choking on him. You’re spitting and sputtering just like you had when you smoked.
“S’cute.” he moans. The light praise encourages you to keep trying for him. So, you do, try. You try to give him mind blowing head. You try to remember to use your tongue to keep him nice and stimulated as you bob up and down on his cock. You even remember one of your friends telling you that squeezing your thumbs stops you from gagging as much.
But it’s all in vain.
Ryusei hisses, flinching from an amalgamation of too much teeth and not enough spit. He snatches you away by your hair, seeing red veins stabbing through the whites of your eyes as they begin to gloss over. A watery sheen telling him of your deepest shame and embarrassment.
“Are you a fucking virgin, baby?” he wonders. His cock spills more pre as he sees tears fall from your eyes and cascade down your cheeks. The little sniffles you can’t stop are a symphony to him and he can see the way your throat is choking back audible cries. He can hear the little croaks trapped there, though, poor thing. “Never sucked a cock before, have you?”
“’m s-so sorry.” you stop fighting your losing battle as you start to cry, utterly humiliated that your secret has come to light because you did such a terrible job giving head. “I’ll— g-get my purse ‘n then you can just g-o. I’m sor—”
He leans forward, hand snaking between your thighs to cup your cunt. “Never had a cock in her, huh? What about fingers? Anybody ever ate your pussy, sweetheart?”
“N-Nothing!” you speak, almost defiantly though that wasn’t your intention. You’re feeling vulnerable and defensive. You’re embarrassed, and he has his hand somewhere nobody has ever touched you before. “Only kissed before…”
“Mmm… no wonder you’re so wet.” he speaks, though he isn’t seeking a reply. He’s simply musing to himself. He should have known, really. When would you get a chance to fuck and learn how to suck cock when your brother practically holds you hostage in this shit hole apartment? “I won’t fuck you, today. You’re not gonna suck my cock either. Come here.” he continues, he grabs both of your wrists and drags you back to your previous position with little effort. You’re above him, again, your thighs straddling his. “Stand up, actually.” he orders, you obey.
Your tits are still exposed and you’re standing in nothing but your pleated mini skirt and silk panties beneath. He twirls his finger, encouraging you to do a spin for him. You complete it, quickly, your skirt raising ever so slightly and exposing a peak of pink silk before you find a neutral position once more.
“Slower.” he tells you, so you spin again. Slower, just for him. “Stop.” he tells you when your back is facing him.
“Is something wrong, ah—!” you yelp as he ruthlessly kicks the inside of your ankles until your legs are spread apart from each other.
“Bend over, put your hands on the table.” he instructs you. You’re slow in doing so, not wanting to rush this time; though you still feel your heartbeat in your throat. Your skirt rides up, the pink silk completely covering your most precious secret. Though he grunts at the sight, unable to control himself. His jaw clenches and bubbles at the sight of brunette curls peaking from the sides of your panties. “Holy shit, fuck.” he sibilates, thick long fingers hooking into the pink silk. He wastes no time tearing them from your body, shoving them into the pocket of his hoody.
He grabs the globes of your ass, kneading the flesh under your little skirt and parting your pussy lips in the process. He’s enamoured by the sight, the way your arousal has soaked your pubic hair. It’s shimmering, he can’t help but to touch and toy with your pubes when they’re taunting him like this. He can’t remember the last time he fucked a girl with a cute bush of hair like yours. It’s always fucking waxed and landing strips and of course he won’t complain, but seeing your intimate form in all of it’s glory like this… you’re perfect. You’re fucking holy.
He pushes a single finger hastily into your wet hole. You almost fall forward; you cry out from the feeling of being stretched for the very first time.
“Never shave this fucking pussy, yeah? Leave it like this f’me.”
You don’t reply, mind spiralling from the feeling of pain and pleasure as he burrows his finger in deeper and begins to curl it when he feels that perfect little spongy spot buried deep. Your cheeks are stained with glittering tears, the overbearing living room light not offering you any courtesy in that regard. Your tear-stricken face will be exposed to him, eventually.
Will he care?
Will he show concern?
Will he be sympathetic since he is the cause?
It appears not. He holds no consideration as he pummels a second finger inside of your gummy interior. He scissors them again and again and again until you’re practically screaming. It feels worse when he pushes against the spot. That spot that blinds your fucking vision.
“A-Ah. Aaah—!” you sob, scream, anything your body can physically project in your current state. It almost feels like an out of body experience. “Ouch! Ow, R-Ryusei. Hurts! Hurtin’ me—!” you explain. He wraps an arm around your midsection, fingers still cosy deep inside. He pulls you back, your spine flush against his chest. His hand moves from your stomach to your mouth, silencing your cries and whimpers as his fingers carry on battering your g-spot.
“Shhh, it’ll feel good in a minute.” he informs you. “Rub your clit, baby, show me how you touch this virgin cunt.” your entire body becomes scalding in an instant, the lewd language and very notion that you masturbate filling you with unease. But without question, your fingers find the swelling nub between your pussy and begin to rub and rub.
He rests his forehead against your shoulder, smiling down as he hears painful cries turn to libertine moans. His smothering hand frees your airways, allowing you to send your mewling into the airspace freely. He squeezes his cock, hard, and begins to masturbate himself. A sticky, clacking sound filling the room. It’s mixing in with the sound of your squelching cunt.
Your eyes cross as he finds a perfect rhythm with you. You’re sure you look like a bona fide whore, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You’re balancing on the balls of your feet with your legs spread open wide, putting your cunt on full display. Your left hand digs into the leather arm rest beside you, the only form of balance you have.
You’re so fucking loud. He’s never heard anyone scream or moan as loudly in his life, though he’s one to talk. He’s on the verge of cumming after so much torment and he couldn’t be more vocal if he tried.
“D-Do you want all the neighbours to hear what a little slut you are? Want ‘em to tell your brother you got fucked stupid while he was gone?” he asks, it’s rhetorical, of course. He doesn’t care that you’re being loud. He just wants to torment you, tease you and build that unadulterated shame that you’ve had embedded in you your whole life. You are the product of repressed sexual urges. Would you have let a drug dealer strip you and play with your cunt if you weren’t so desperate and needing to be toyed with?
“’m gonna c-cum. Fuck, Ryusei! Cumming f-for you—!” you cry, your walls squeezing his fingers until they feel close to breaking. “Oh my god…” you sob. Your poor little virgin slot throbbing and pulsating around his thick heavy fingers and you continue to cum for what feels like a lifetime. His curling fingers dragging out the feeling for as long as humanly possible.
“Hah- haah- ah, fuck!” he finishes, white, gluey fluid shooting up your back. He fucks his fist until he drains every last drop from his swollen balls. He admires his work, smearing the remaining residue on your ass cheek and your skirt. He wonders if you’ll remember to wash it, God forbid your stupid brother find a cum stain on it.
He scrapes his cum onto his fingers and orders you to face him. He brings his sperm to your lips, expecting you to know what to do.
“Eat.” he says. You hesitate. He wants you to what? It’s a liquid, you can’t eat it. Does he want you to lick his fingers? Put them in your mouth? He’s sick of waiting, however, forcing them by your lips until the bitter taste coats your tongue. “Eat it.” he looks at you with venom in his stare.
You hold his hand sweetly with both of yours. He watches you as you suck his fingers, internally thinking how much better you are doing this than you are at sucking cock. He bears his teeth, the golden one glimmering in your eye once again as you continue to clean the cum from his digits.
“Thaaaat’s it, good girl. It’ll get the taste of weed out of your mouth.” he tells you. You finish sucking, releasing his fingers with a gentle pop before placing his hand back on your thigh.
He allows his fingers to lightly caress your skin. The pads carefully glide over you as you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him for the final time during this encounter. But he wanted to fuck you, didn’t he? He wanted you to suck him off properly, too. He’ll let it go for today, but this certainly won’t be the one and only time you’ll bare it all for him.
You still owe him for the weed, after all.
He thinks he might set up a depraved little payment plan for you.
© 2023 rinitxshi
#ryusei shido x reader#ryusei shidou x reader#ryuusei shidou x reader#shido ryusei x reader#shidou ryusei x reader#shidou ryuusei x reader#shido ryuusei x reader#shido x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#shidou smut#ryusei shidou smut#shidou ryusei#ryusei shidou#blue lock smut#bllk smut#shidou x you#ryusei x reader#blue lock#bllk#shidou ryuusei smut#shido ryusei smut#shidou ryusei smut#shidou bllk#ryusei shidou bllk#shidou bluelock#tw dubcon#tw drug use#tw dumbification#tw dacryphilia
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You Get Me So High
TYRANTS || STORY MASTERLIST
PAIRING: rafe cameron x fem!reader
WARNINGS: MDNI 18+ Content, swearing, sexual content, drug and alcohol use, violence
WORD COUNT: 4.3k
I wanna be high all the time
Would you come with me?
Used to stick together
You’re my best friend, I’ll love you forever
If you can just let me know if it’s okay
To call you when I’m lonely
February Cont.
“Show me a picture of this dude so I know who to look out for.” Sarah says after she puts the car in park in my driveway.
My hand trembles as I type in his instagram handle.
“Oh my god. Oh my GOD” she screeches, slapping my arm. “You’re never going to believe me when I say this.”
”What WHAT” I shout back in response, my heart racing and palms getting sweaty.
”Y/N, he was there at the beach that day. During the whole Ruthie thing. He was one of the losers heckling Kie when she was trying to confront them. He’s the reason JJ threatened to kill them all.” My jaw dropped.
”There .. there’s no way. He- he isn’t like that.” I stammer.
”I swear on my mom, y/n. Send that to our group chat for Kie and Cleo to confirm but im so serious that’s him.”
”Fuck. This guy is really not who I thought he was.”
”No, he’s not at all. So, what are you going to do when you see him at school tomorrow?” She said as I unbuckled my seatbelt. I sighed and looked out the window at my house.
“I don't even want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he hurt me. I’m just going to ignore him…. I think” Sarah reached over and squeezed my hand.
“We’re here for you. Im sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me most-“
“It’s Valentine’s Day, I shouldn’t expect any of you to come running to my side, but im glad you did. Will you tell John B hello for me?” I say, cutting her off. She gave me a soft smile and nodded her head.
“Of course” she says and I step out of the car, waving goodbye as I walk towards my front door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
”Pogue fucker” Noah mumbles under his breath as he passes me in the hall. I stop in my tracks, my body tenses and I process what he just said.
I turn on my heels and look at him straight in the eyes. Sabrina, who was walking down the hall with me, grabs my arm.
”The fuck did you just call me?” I say through gritted teeth.
”you heard me. You’re a pogue fucker.” He says with a smile. His friends standing next to him like a bunch of chumps.
I take a step forward towards him. So much for ignoring him.
”I don’t know who made you think you can say shit like that, but you’re sure as hell not going to say something like that to me.”
”Oh really? What’re you gonna do? Have your boyfriend JJ gun me down?”
I begin to lunge forward before Sabrina holds me back.
”Alright that’s enough Noah” she yells at him, pushing herself infront of me.
”What you did was fucked up Noah, leading her on like that, then ghosting her. She’s not dating JJ by the way, I don’t know where you got that information but its incorrect. And what’s wrong with being a pogue fucker anyways?” She says, crossing her arms over her chest.
His group of friends laugh and Noah looks past Sabrina at me.
”Everyone knows you and JJ fucked, that’s just facts.”
”THATS NOT TRUE” I shout behind Sabrina.
”And you literally just posted about hanging out with Pogues, so there’s no way you aren’t still slumming it down on the cut when you get the chance.” He continues. My blood is boiling at this point. A crowd has started to form around us just before the bell for dismissal rings,
”Besides the fact that you’re an ignorant douche, I suggest you keep this shit to yourself. You’re spreading lies about a nice girl who did NOTHING to you except trust you. Rot in hell, DICK.” She screams the last bit before dragging me by the arm out the front doors of the school.
”Are you okay hun?” She asks, wrapping her arm around my side. My head hung low, avoiding eye contact with anyone, especially those who just saw the altercation go down.
”Yea ‘m fine I just wanna go home.”
”You gonna be okay?” She asks, and I nod my head in response.
”I just want to lay in bed” I say with a sigh.
”I love you” she says before walking towards her car.
”Love you too Sab, thank you.”
When I get into my car I see a text from my mom
Your dad and I decided to leave for Charlotte tonight rather than in the morning, and Lucy decided to come with us. Did you still want to stay home this weekend?
Yea I’ll be fine. Got homework and stuff to get done.
ok love you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After rotting in bed until 8:30pm I decided to get up and make myself dinner. We had some chicken breasts and lemons, so I decided to make a makeshift chicken piccata.
While the chicken was baking my music silenced itself, and my phone started ringing.
Incoming Call: Rafe Cameron
I take a second before answering, holding my breath to hear what he has to say.
”Hello?” I speak into the phone, peering down into the oven to check on the chicken.
”Hey um,” he sniffles in the background, his voice sounds broken up over the phone.
”Are you home?”
”Yes, are you okay?” I ask, concern starting to rise in my voice.
”Can I come over?” He whispers into the phone. There’s a beat of silence before I answer.
”Yes.”
”Alright I’m kind of already here, could you open the front door?”
I jump and turn around to see that the front porch light is infact, on.
“Coming” I say, running over to open the door.
He stands on the side of the doorway, clutching his side, a hoodie over his head. As I open the door farther he leans in, practically falling inside.
”Holy Shit Rafe what’s going on?” I shriek, catching him before he topples over.
”Can I lay down?” He asks, his voice is hoarse. I pull him over to the living room couch, helping him get comfortable, I pull his hoodie down, to reveal a bruise on his cheekbone and a bloody nose.
”God Rafe you need to tell me who did this to you.”
He let out a dark laugh, one i hadn’t heard in a very long time.
“You’re not going to believe me.”
”Try me” I say while standing up to walk to the first floor bathroom and get the med kit.
I return back to rafe on the couch, with the kit and a wet rag.
I begin to wipe the dried blood off his face and put some medicine on his cuts. He winces at my touch, but doesn’t refuse.
Our faces are dangerously close at this point, and i can feel his breath on my face. My pulse quickens and I realize he still didn't answer my question.
”So, whats the other guy looking like right now?” I ask, trying to lighten the tense mood. He opens his mouth to answer right when the oven timer rings.
”Shit sorry one second. Did you have dinner?”
He grumbles some sort of response I can barely hear as I walk into the kitchen, putting on a glove to take out the chicken.
I place the breasts back on the pan, glazing it with white wine and squeezing a fresh lemon into the sauce.
“That smells amazing” Rafe comments before sitting on on of the island chairs.
”Rafe go lay back down.” I instruct, as I begin to plate the dish, now splitting it into two servings.
“You patched me up, im all better.” He says, faking a smile. I roll my eyes before setting a plate infront of him.
”Eat this, and then you’ll feel better.” He looks down at the plate, then back at me.
”are you sure, I really don’t -“ I cut him off with a wave of my hand in his face.
”shush, just tell me how good it is.” He cuts into the chicken and takes a bite, while I pour us two glasses of water.
”holy shit this is gas.” He says with a Mouth full.
“I know” I say confidently, giving him a full smile before taking a seat next to him.
After a few minutes of us eating in silence, I turn to look at him.
”So why did you come here?” I ask with genuine sincerity and curiosity. He finishes swallowing and turns his head to look back at me.
“This is kind of our thing isn’t it? Coming to each other at our lowest.” He lets out a chuckle before taking a sip of water.
”I guess that’s true,” I respond, thinking back to every time we’ve been in situations like this.
”and I don’t like people to see me like… like this.”
”vulnerable?”
he looks away after my comment, I can tell his head is swimming with thoughts, he’s far away right now, I needed to figure out how to bring him back. Before I could come up with another question, he finishes his last bite and stands up, walking over to the sink to rinse it off.
“You don’t need to do that” I say, protesting.
“Shush” he mimicks me.
I finish up my own last bite and he takes the plate away from infront of me, and starts to wash it.
I walk to the living room, and clean up the med kit, placing it back in the bathroom, when I return, I find rafe putting his shoes back on.
”What’re you doing?” I question, my breath hitching in my throat at the thought of him leaving so soon.
”I. Don’t wanna be a bother. You probably got stuff to do, it’s a Friday night and all.”
”no!” I shout, louder than I had anticipated, making us both flinch. “stay. Im home alone and could use the company.”
“Y/n,” he starts. I walk over and stand infront of him, blocking him from the door.
”I said I want you to stay.” His eyes look back and forth between me and the door a few times before he gives in.
“Well what were you going to do before I showed up?” He asks, taking his shoes back off.
”I was going to watch a movie, The KIlling of a Sacred Deer, you heard of it?”
”That the one with Nicole Kidman?” He says with a smirk.
I give his shoulder a slight shove and shake my head.
”Come on, we can watch it downstairs.” He follows my lead to the basement, trailing right behind, but stopping when we pass the bar.
”Rafe…” I raise my eyebrows at him. “Don’t even think about it.”
”Chill baby I’m just checking out what your dad has in stock,” he hums at me before touching the end of my hair.
“You know, I’ve always loved your hair.” He murmurs, leaning down a few inches infront of my face.
“Thanks, I grew it myself.” I respond plainly, walking into my room. He lets out a huff and follows me in. I fumble to pick up the pile of clothing at the edge of my bed, shoving it into my closet. I run to get the trash off of my nightstand before he starts laughing.
”I didnt expect a guest okay, don’t start with me.” I shoot daggers at him and he raises his hands in defense.
“You know how Sarah’s room can get. Im not judging.” He crawls onto my bed, laying his head on one of my squishmallows. ”I think this ones my favorite” he says, pointing to the large Axolotl in the corner.
I smile and climb onto the bed with him.
”He actually doesn’t have a name yet.” I inform him, picking up the remote to turn my TV on, “you should help me name him.”
Rafe raises his eyebrows and then looks back at the plush figure. I can see his mind thinking, and I find myself watching him intently for a few moments before he turns to make eye contact with me. His demeanor had softened dramatically compared to the state he was in an hour ago. Luckily his face wasn’t swelling, and looked like his cuts would heal nicely.
“What about .. Fred?”
I let out a laugh, louder than I think we both expected, causing Rafe to let out a deep chuckle himself.
”Okay okay yeah that was bad. Hmm what about Reek?”
“Like from Game of Thrones?” A smile spreads across his face.
”Yes.” He says softly, touching my hair again.
”Well if he’s going to be a game of thrones character, maybe he should be Drogon, one of Daenerys’s dragons.”
”Hm I like that, Drogon has a ring to it.”
I turn back to the TV and press play on the movie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
”Okay so where the fuck was the deer?’ Rafe asks as the credits roll on the screen.
”You are not being serious are you right now?”
”Y/N, that was a horrifying movie. Why’s every piece of media you show me actually insane.”
”Have you ever considered im insane?”
”Its crossed my mind for sure.” I gasp, with a roll of my eyes before turning on a random episode of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia on.
“So.” I say, my eyes grazing over his long body on my bed, when my eyes catch up to his face, he’s already looking intently at me.
”So..” he responds. I fiddle with the hem of my shorts before taking in a sharp breath.
”Are you going to tell me who did that to you?”
His eyes flicker down my body and then back up at my eyes. He lays his head back on the headboard and closes his eyes.
“It was my dad.”
I immediately sit straight up.
”Rafe, what?” My hand reaches over to grab his. He stays still, letting me hold it.
“We got into an argument over the settlement that just went down,and he was drinking. There’s some stuff going on with Peterkin that’s got him all riled up and he took it out on me.”
“I, I’m so sorry I don’t even know what to say. You don’t deserve to be related like that at all, especially from your dad.
He finally opens his eyes and looks at me, I could tell he was trying to fight off any intense emotions, holding his body tense. I moved closer to him, draping my arm across his body, my head resting against his.
”can you not tell anyone about this? I’m going to tell the guys it was a fight with a pogue and I don’t need you and your little friends running around saying the opposite.”
I nudge my forehead against his, “I wouldn’t do that” I whisper, inching my nose towards his. I watch his eyes flicker up at mine, then down at my lips.
“I know you wouldn’t,” He brings his hand up to my cheek and pulls me closer, our lips hovering over each other.
“Always such a good girl for me.” My breath hitches in my throat, and I push my mouth against his. Our lips collide, and a guttural moan vibrates from his mouth through mine. Rafe’s hands reach down to grab my hips and he pulls me on top of him.
Our lips move against each other in a fast paced rhythm, and Rafe pulls me down hard against his crotch moving me up and down.
“God I need you so bad.” He mumbles against my lips. I moan back in response, running my fingers through his hair.
“Who said I was going to give you what you want?” I flirt back, moving my mouth down his chin, onto his neck, sucking and biting. He lets out a soft sigh, mixed with a chuckle.
“Don’t act like you cant resist me. Especially when you’re so worked up like this.”
I remove my mouth from his neck for a second to say, “‘m not worked up.”
“I’ve caught you checking me out all night baby. You’re not as slick as you think.”
I continue to suck on his neck, moving to the other side.
“Well its been a while.” I murmur against his skin.
“Say the word and I’ll give you what you want.” I peek my head up to meet his eyes, his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth that’s smirked up.
”And when I say I want a million dollars, then what?” I quip, raising my eyebrows.
”I’d give you the world if you wanted.” He whispers back. We stare at each other for a few moments, before he tilts my chin up, connecting our lips once again.
I reach my hand down to help him take off his shirt and he stops me.
“Don’t, Don’t freak out alright.” He says quietly. I look at him quizzically before he takes his shirt off himself, revealing bruises up and down his torso.
”My god, Rafe.” I gasp, and lightly trail my finger over the marked spots. He hisses and grabs my hand.
“I said don’t freak out.” He warns me, with a stern look on his face. I feel myself throbbing against his crotch underneath me, I think he can feel it too because his face softens and he leans his head back against the headboard.
“We’ll just have to be a little gentler than usual.” I say, moving my body down to trail kisses along his sternum. I make sure to hold myself up by my arms as I go down, to avoid putting any unnecessary weight on his chest.
When I make it to his belt buckle, I finally look up.
”He didnt harm you down here did he?” I ask, hoping to lighten the mood. He smiles and shakes his head no before helping me undo the loop.
I pull his pants and boxers down, throwing them off the bed, taking his cock in one hand and bringing my other up to cup his face. His bottom lip is tight between his teeth, and I hear his breathing start to get heavier.
I lean down to spit on his dick, and start to pump before bringing my face up to meet his. We hold eye contact as I quicken the pace, making sure to squeeze over his tip before going all the way down his shaft. After a few more pumps, I bring my hand down to grab his balls and his bottom lip finally escapes his teeth and he lets out a moan. I seize this opportunity of his open mouth by pressing my mouth against his, shoving my tongue inside. I explore around his mouth, tasting him, devouring him.
”Fuck” he pants when I finally release myself to take a breath. “I need to taste you.” He took the opportunity to flip me onto my back. I whimper out in excitement while his mouth trails along the already exposed skin on my legs. While he pulls down my shorts I take off my top, exposing the fact that I didn't have a bra on this whole time.
He looks up with a smirk and reaches a hand over to palm my right breast, causing a moan to escape my lips. I feel myself grow wetter by the second as his breath trails over my panties, grazing his lips around the lines between them and my inner thighs.
”Please” I whimper out, reaching down to collect whatever pieces of hair I could into my grasp.
He pulls the fabric with one finger down between my folds, creating a pressure against my clit, and pushes his lips down on the bud.
“Fuck” I whisper out. His finger, still in between my panties, begins to slide in between my folds, collecting up the juices I had built up. He takes the finger out and pops it into his mouth, sitting up on his knees, rolling his eyes back.
“Fucking delicious.” He groans before ripping my panties completely off. I take in a sharp inhale at the sudden movements, and before i can think, he’s pushing my knees up to my chest with one hand, and using his other to inspect my pussy.
”So fucking pretty” He whispers against the inside my my knee, giving it a soft kiss while his fingers continue to slide up and down.
“Rafe” I plead squirming beneath him.
“Shh baby,” he coos. “I told you I’d give you what you want. You just have to say it.” His eyes look up to meet mine, and another whimper escapes my lips. My brain is fuzzy already, and I can barely get the words out. His hand retracts from my pussy, and he begins to pump his dick.
He moves his erection dangerously close to my core, and gives a slight tap, causing my hips to jerk up and uncontrollable whimpers to fall out.
“Please” I beg, Feeling my face get hot. A smirk is stapled to his face as he watches the scene of my throbbing pussy visibly aching to be filled.
“Use your words pretty girl, tell me what you want.” He says softly, pressing another kiss to the inside of my thighs.
”Want you to fill me up”
He doesn’t waste a second after the words come out of my mouth, pushing himself fully in. I shriek out, grabbing his shoulder to pull him down to meet my face.
He pants against my open mouth, and my eyes roll back before I squeeze them shut, seeing stars behind my hooded lids.
”Wanna see those pretty eyes baby” he says, my eyes flicker open to meet his intense gaze, his lips slightly parted. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip and smiles.
“There you are” he whispers before picking up his pace. My moans are uncontrollable at this point, holding onto his shoulders for dear life as he pounds into me.
“So fucking good” I cry out. He gives my forehead a kiss before dipping his head into the crook of my neck, swinging my right knee over his shoulder, pumping in deeper.
”You like this baby?” He says against my neck. I whimper back in response, and move my hands down to hold onto his biceps.
“Yes, you fuck me so, so, so” my head falls back and my eyes roll back against as his hips slap against my thighs.
“So, so, so” he mimics in a high pitch voice.
“Mhm fuck you.” I mumble out. His hand grabs my chin and he turns it to meet his face.
“Nah, when Im fucking you this you good, you don’t get to have a fucking attitude.” He puts pressure between my cheekbones and jaw and I open my mouth. He leans down and spits into it. I whimper and swallow, nodding my head in agreement.
“Yes, sir” I whisper. I watch his pupils grow in response, and his pace fastens. His hand releases from my face to grab my left breast, and he leans his head down to suck my nipple, lapping up and down before taking the peak between his teeth and biting down. I moan out, grabbing another fistful of his hair.
”’m gonna cum if you keep pulling shit like this” I quip. He shoots a look at me before going back down to sucking on my tit.
”Don’t you think that’s kind of the point babygirl? And I told your to watch that fucking attitude.” His hand moves up to my cheek to give it a slight tap, causing a guttural moan to come out, which makes him chuckle. His lips attach back to my nipple, and her sucks harder, causing me to shriek, and my brain to go full sub space.
When he comes back to meet my face, he can read it all over my face. He grins widely and kisses all around my face. My body tenses as I reach my high, and his free hand trails up and down my sides, his pace steady, hard and fast.
“You gonna cum for me?” He coos, brushing some hair out of my face before giving my lips a quick peck. I muster up the energy to nod my head, and he leans his hand down to rub my clit.
”Fuck” I groan out, grabbing his biceps, diggin my nails in.
“Im,” I start before the crash hits me and I go completely nonverbal, feeling myself convulse around rafe, holding onto him for dear life.
“There you go baby” he whispers, continuing to rub my clit aggressively while his thrusts get sloppy. My head feels light and I go completely limp underneath him, trusting myself in his grip to keep me safe.
He groans out and pulls his dick out before cumming all over my stomach. He holds my face while pumping his cock, getting the rest of himself out onto my body. His breaths slow before he reaches down to kiss me passionately, the cum now sticking to the both of us.
After a few minutes of us laying together, lips brushing against each other, he helps me come back to earth, caressing my head and playing with the ends of my hair.
“You’re so beautiful” he whispers before getting up a d walking to the bathroom. I feel a cold chill run up my body when his heat leaves the bed. He returns with a towel, wiping me off before he wipes himself off.
“Want some help getting to the bathroom?” He says, looking down at my helpless figure. I nod my head, and he picks me up, carrying me to the bathroom.
”You got it from here?” He asks, and I sheepishly nod, he leaves the bathroom closing the door behind him.
When I return to the bedroom, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, his clothes against his lap.
”I can go now, if you wanna get some rest.” He says in a light voice, looking out the back door. I sit down next to him, wrapping my arm around his waist and resting my head against his shoulder.
”I told you I wanted you to stay earlier, and I meant it.”
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Tags: @ltristessedureratoujours @davinashifts333
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I make fandom art I make porn I make stuff that makes me miserable and I make stuff that makes me happy and I follow all the advice online but still nobody likes my art. I know it's good art and im not insecure about my talent level but no matter what I post or where I post it, nobody wants to like or interact with my art at all. I know people see it I know people are scrolling past without acknowledging what I make and it fucking sucks. I don't have friends to share stuff I make with and nobody online cares clearly. What do you do when nobody likes you or what you offer.
Good question. This response involves some of my history. I try to talk about my experiences at a comfortable distance. But please skip to the 'Solutions' part if you're bored.
My thoughts below:
It's painful. I have a lot of memories of high intensity pain due to no one engaging with me, at school and online. 'If I live in the same world as others, but it still feels like I am in a world with just myself, what is the point of trying to make things? Sure, I will feel better about myself as I grow, but I've still got no one to grow with, so I am just talking to myself. Amusing myself is fine, but I want to reach a level of fun above amusement, a level that others seem to reach so naturally.'
In fact, maybe you are less 'outward' with your emotions, but as a child and teenager and young adult, there was a lot of screaming and crying and thrashing about 'not being granted the ability to make things others will seriously engage with me about.'
(The pain remained after making a few friends during teenage years. The pain's attitude shifted slightly to accommodate this new life change of gaining friends. Much later, even after I became an artist with a large visible number of 'followers/people interested in something you make', the pain shifted its shape around this life change again. "People make bad assumptions of me because I have a big visible number in my profile and most websites do not give me the ability to hide that number." Summary: If your pain/frustration still remains after you gain a friend or find people who engage you, don't beat yourself up. Emotions don't work in such a way that the outcomes you desire are only guaranteed to make you happy and no other emotions will rise.)
Although I loved to look at art on websites since I was a child, one may assume I enjoyed the community aspect. I did, but only as a spectator for the vast majority of the time, since age restrictions and the harsh attitudes that exist to 'prevent the weak from touching the strong' was present in many of the sites I visited. Similar to how children get frustrated when another child cannot keep up with their play, but the child that is 'left out' can still enjoy watching other kids play from afar. It makes perfect sense to me these feelings will always exist in the world no matter what 'social media' websites people invent.
Anyway, two solution attempts in succession I tried over long-term:
1. My first attempt at a solution was immersing myself in a fantasy world I created in my mind and I held my imagination in high esteem. "I know my imagination takes influence from the things I read and admire, so it's not such a lonely world anyway." Creating episode lists of imaginary cartoon episodes and such, so dedicated to something I hardly told anyone about. It felt good. But my friends had original characters too, and they could describe their personalities and dynamics to others naturally and quickly, likely due to their earlier experiences with 'communicating ideas to others.' I was quiet and envious. Although it was fun to play with the imaginary characters in my head, I decided to take another step. Of course I could not simply go back in time to gain the similar social experiences my friends had. But I could use that desire to 'go back in time' to 'go forward in time' and gain the experience.
2. Engage in others first. Because I spent a long time in my imagination, I felt more secure about myself, so I wanted to extend the feeling of 'caring about my own work' to 'caring about others' work on an equal level.' The internet allows you to assess people before engaging to see if your compatibility might be okay. If someone had posts that resonated with me, I tried to say 'hello, I like what you posted/I like your drawing because [...]' Even if the contact ended there, it was a good practice. Gently communicate with people over time. Especially since I am sure there are people who rarely receive questions about their artworks who would love someone to engage with them as well. Of course do not do this in a 'pity' sense – you have to genuinely find something that 'touches your heart' and if the artist seems to not get much curiosity in regards to their art, you can go ahead and try to express your curiosity to them. Keep posting whatever you like, but if you engage with others, you may find someone engaging with you without even expecting it, and that is fun.
(I think society should practice finding genuine value in things they like even if they see nobody has touched it. Not pity, but removing the "does anyone else like this? If I see no one else liking this, it must be a bad thing to like, so I won't engage" attitude. Some of my favourite artwork has maybe 5 visible 'bookmarks/favorites' on an art-focused website.)
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I would love if you write some enemies to lovers for nicholas chavez and reader, it could be some like how to lose a guy in 10 days or 10 things i hate about you, something like that, with a happy ending, i dont know exactly, i just know that i love everything that you write ❤️
match point 🎾
summary: based on this lovely request!! i added a tennis element to it because tennis feels very “enemies to lovers” coded to me for some reason
type: nicholas chavez x black plus sized fem reader
tags/warnings: 18+, angst, misread fatphobia (i promise it’s not in there but i don’t wanna trigger anyway), oral (m! and f! receiving), face fucking, cream pie
word count: ~8493
author’s note: confession, i’ve never seen either of those movies and i know i need to!!! either way, i liked this bc im lowkey missing summer rn so this helped — i hope you like it!!!
taglist: @blackynsupremacy , @hoffmansgirl , @emluvsuxo , @ilovecheetahchrome , @nicholaschavezslut69 , @nicholaslut , @niteskysx , @melaninjhs , @pawofassumption
🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾
The cicadas were already singing their lazy summer song when you arrived at the outdoor tennis courts, the air thick with humidity and the faint tang of freshly cut grass. The afternoon sun hung high, its rays bouncing off the court’s faded green surface and making the white lines shimmer like a mirage. You adjusted the strap of your bag, trying to ignore the way sweat was already pooling at the base of your neck, dampening the curls of your wash-and-go style.
This was supposed to be fun—a way to meet new people and settle into a city that still felt foreign and a little lonely. The open lessons had sounded perfect in theory, a casual way to break the ice while learning a new skill. But as you scanned the court, the pit in your stomach deepened.
Clusters of players were already warming up, their easy camaraderie apparent in the way they laughed and called out to one another. Most of them were lean, athletic types, the kind who looked like they spent their weekends hiking or doing yoga. You tugged at the hem of your tank top, suddenly hyper-aware of how it clung to your curves.
“Okay, let’s get started!”
The coach’s voice boomed across the court, drawing your attention. He was wiry and sunburnt, with the kind of leathery skin that suggested decades spent outdoors. A whistle hung around his neck, and his clipboard was already dotted with names and notes.
You moved toward the group, slipping into the back of the huddle as he began assigning partners. The air buzzed with excitement, punctuated by the rhythmic thwack of balls hitting rackets in the distance.
Just as you were beginning to relax, a low murmur rippled through the group. You turned in time to see a tall figure sauntering toward the court.
Nicholas Chavez.
He was the kind of beautiful that made you pause—messy dark hair, honey-brown eyes that seemed to catch the sunlight, and a jawline sharp enough to make you wonder if he’d walked off the pages of a magazine. He wore a black T-shirt and shorts, his broad shoulders and toned arms hinting at a strength that made it clear he wasn’t new to this.
As he got closer, he tossed a lazy glance toward the huddle, his gaze sweeping over the group. When his eyes landed on you, they lingered for a beat too long, and his brow twitched in a way that made your chest tighten.
“All right, let’s pair up,” the coach said, scanning his clipboard. His gaze landed on you, and you braced yourself. “Y/N, you’re with Nick.”
You forced a smile, clutching your racket like a lifeline. This was fine. You could handle this.
But the moment you looked back at Nicholas, you saw it: the flicker of hesitation in his expression, followed by the faintest lift of his brow. He didn’t say anything outright, but his reaction was loud enough. His gaze darted briefly to your shoulders, to the soft curve of your arms, before sliding back to your face with a faint smirk.
It wasn’t the smirk itself that stung—it was the way it felt so dismissive, like you were being appraised and silently deemed not worth the effort.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered under his breath, just loud enough for you to catch.
Your stomach sank.
“Problem, Nick?” the coach called out, clearly catching the tail end of his remark.
Nicholas shrugged, spinning his racket lazily in one hand. “Nah,” he said, his voice smooth. “No problem.”
But as he turned and strode toward the far end of the court, his posture radiated a kind of casual arrogance that made your skin crawl.
The sun beat down mercilessly as you followed him to the court, your sneakers crunching against the gritty asphalt. By the time you reached the net, your irritation had reached a slow boil.
“Let’s just get this over with,” you said, trying to keep your tone even.
Nicholas didn’t respond, only gave a half-smile that somehow managed to be both infuriating and devastatingly attractive. He took his position without another word, and you adjusted your grip on the racket, determined to prove yourself.
But it didn’t take long for your annoyance to bubble over. Nicholas wasn’t even trying. He barely moved for volleys, his half-hearted swings making it clear he had no intention of putting in effort. When you lunged to keep the ball in play, your movements fueled by sheer determination, he had the audacity to let out a soft, amused laugh.
“Something funny?” you snapped, straightening as you glared at him.
He leaned casually on his racket, his honey-brown eyes glinting with something that made your pulse race—equal parts amusement and challenge. “You’re working pretty hard for this, huh?”
Your grip tightened. “That’s kind of the point,” you bit out. “It’s called practice.”
“Sure,” he said with a shrug. “But, you know, maybe you should pace yourself. Wouldn’t want to tire out too quickly.”
The words were innocuous enough, but the way his gaze flicked over you as he said them wasn’t. Your jaw clenched as heat rose to your face, though you weren’t sure if it was anger or embarrassment. Probably both.
“Don’t worry about me,” you said tightly. “I can handle myself.”
“Yeah?” His smirk widened, dimples flashing in a way that made you want to scream. “We’ll see.”
The last few volleys of practice felt like an eternity. The summer sun bore down relentlessly, baking the court and leaving a faint sheen of sweat glistening on your skin. Every muscle in your body ached, and each swing of your racket felt heavier than the last. Meanwhile, Nicholas moved across the court with maddening ease, barely breaking a sweat, his shots precise but lazy, like he wasn’t even trying.
“Good game, everyone!” the coach called out, blowing his whistle to signal the end of practice. Relief washed over you as you dropped your racket and grabbed your water bottle from your bag.
You lowered yourself to the ground with a graceless plop, sitting cross-legged near the sidelines and taking long gulps of water. The cool liquid was a godsend, but the heat still clung to you, making your skin feel sticky. You fanned yourself with one hand, trying to keep your breathing steady.
No one’s looking at you. Relax.
You repeated the mantra in your head, reminding yourself that you weren’t being perceived in the way your mind sometimes tricked you into thinking. Your confidence had always been solid—a hard-earned love for your body and all it had carried you through—but moments like this, when your stamina was stretched thin and the exhaustion was visible, made it easier for doubt to creep in.
“Mind if I join?”
The voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and you looked up to see one of the other players—a girl around your age with a friendly smile and braids pulled into a high ponytail—gesturing to the space next to you.
“Go for it,” you said, gesturing for her to sit.
She plopped down beside you, letting out an exaggerated sigh. “I don’t know about you, but I’m dying out here. Who decided it was a good idea to play tennis in the middle of July?”
You laughed, grateful for the distraction. “Right? I feel like my shoes are melting into the court.”
“I’m Taylor, by the way,” she said, extending a hand.
“Y/N,” you replied, shaking it.
The two of you quickly fell into an easy rhythm of conversation, talking about everything from how intense the coach seemed to the best food spots in the city. Taylor’s humor was sharp and quick, and it wasn’t long before you were laughing so hard your sides ached more than from practice.
Just as you were starting to forget your earlier frustration, a shadow passed over you.
“Take it easy.”
You looked up to see Nicholas strolling by, his racket slung over his shoulder and a water bottle in hand. His tone was light, almost lazy, but the smirk tugging at his lips said otherwise. He didn’t stop walking, didn’t even look back as he delivered the remark.
Your jaw clenched, heat rising to your face—not from the sun this time, but from irritation.
“Is he always like that?” you muttered, glancing at Taylor.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, that’s just Nick. He’s kind of a jerk to everyone.”
“Yeah, well,” you said, standing up and brushing off your legs, “he’s got it down to an art.”
-----
The next practice was even hotter than the first, the summer sun relentless as it beat down on the courts. The air shimmered with heat, and the faint smell of sunscreen mixed with the tang of tennis balls and sweat. You showed up determined to ignore Nicholas entirely, but, unsurprisingly, he made that impossible.
It started when the group was working on backhands. You’d gotten the general motion, but the finer details still felt awkward, and after a few failed attempts, you lowered your racket and turned to the coach. “Sorry, can you show that one more time?” you asked.
Before the coach could answer, Nicholas let out a low whistle, leaning lazily on his racket. “Guess they’re really starting from scratch, huh?”
The words hit you like a sharp jab, and your grip tightened on your racket. Your stomach twisted, but you forced yourself to ignore him, even as irritation bubbled beneath the surface. Instead, you focused on the coach’s demonstration, determined not to let Nicholas’s snide comment throw you off.
Later in practice, you managed to land a sharp, satisfying volley during a rally. The ball skimmed over the net and landed squarely out of Nicholas’s reach. Pride swelled in your chest—until Nicholas turned to the coach, throwing his hands up dramatically.
“Look at that!” he called out, his smirk deepening as dimples framed his maddeningly smug expression. “She hit one!”
Laughter rippled faintly through the group, but all you could hear was the blood rushing in your ears. Heat crawled up your neck as you turned away, focusing on retrieving the ball and forcing yourself not to react. You clenched your jaw, gripping your racket so hard your knuckles ached.
By the end of practice, you were drenched in sweat, your tank top clinging to your skin, and your curls puffing out in defiance of the humidity. The exhaustion weighed heavy in your limbs, but all you could think about was getting out of there. You had plans to meet Taylor for dinner after, and every second spent on the court felt like it was cutting into your evening.
You tossed your racket into your bag and slung it over your shoulder, ready to bolt, but in your rush, the strap snagged on the bench. The zipper popped open, spilling your belongings onto the ground. Your water bottle rolled a few feet away, sunscreen and a spare shirt landing in a messy pile alongside the small notebook you used to jot down practice tips.
“Need some help?” Taylor asked, crouching down beside you.
“Thanks,” you muttered, hurriedly grabbing your sunscreen as she handed it to you. You scrambled to gather everything, feeling the heat from the court radiating through the soles of your shoes.
Before you could finish zipping up your bag, a shadow loomed over you.
“Careful,” Nicholas said, his voice light and casual, but with that familiar edge of condescension. “You’d probably move faster if you lightened your load a little.”
Your head snapped up, and before you could stop yourself, the words came out: “You’d probably move faster if you actually tried during practice instead of standing around acting like you’re too good for the rest of us.”
The air grew still, the quiet hum of cicadas the only sound as everyone turned to look at you. Your chest heaved as the words hung in the air, hot and sharp, your frustration boiling over in full view of the group.
Nicholas paused for a moment, then tilted his head slightly, his lips quirking into an infuriatingly lazy smile. “The heat’s getting to everyone, huh?”
A few of the other players chuckled awkwardly, but your glare didn’t waver. He didn’t even seem fazed, casually slinging his racket over his shoulder like nothing had happened.
“See you next time,” he said, his voice light as he turned and strolled off, leaving you standing there with your fists clenched.
Taylor rose to her feet beside you, muttering under her breath. “Don’t let him get to you.”
“I know” you said, your voice tight as you choked back tears, while you zipped up your bag and slung it over your shoulder.
As you walked off the court, your mind raced. No one had ever been able to needle you like this before, and it wasn’t just frustrating—it was confusing. You weren’t sure what Nicholas’s problem was.
-----
You decided to skip the next practice. You told yourself it was to give your body a break from the brutal summer heat and all the drills, but deep down, you knew the real reason: Nicholas Chavez. His smirks, his snide comments, the way he always managed to needle you just right—it had all been too much. You needed a breather.
Still, the itch to move lingered. By the evening time, when the sun had finally dipped enough to make the air bearable, you headed to the gym near the courts. You timed it perfectly, arriving after practice would’ve ended and to ensure no one else would be there.
The place was empty, just the quiet hum of the overhead fans and the rhythmic thump of your sneakers against the polished floor. You felt freer here, confident enough to shed your usual layers. In your sports bra and athletic shorts, you stretched, tying your curls up into a puff before grabbing your racket.
You put on your headphones and cranked up the volume, letting the beat drown out the world as you stepped onto the court. You started with easy volleys, but it didn’t take long for your pent-up frustration to bubble up. With every swing, you hit the ball against the wall at full power and speed, the sharp crack of impact echoing in the empty space. Each hit felt like a release—a way to channel all the irritation that Nicholas had stirred up in you.
You were in the zone, so focused on the rhythm of the ball and the music blasting in your ears that you barely noticed someone calling your name. It wasn’t until a break between songs that the sound finally cut through.
You froze mid-swing, turning to see none other than Nicholas standing near the entrance, his bag slung over one shoulder.
Of course.
You yanked back one side of your headphones, your annoyance flaring immediately. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” he said, walking toward you with that infuriatingly easy confidence.
You glanced at the clock on the wall. Practice had ended two hours ago. He wasn’t supposed to be here.
“Gym’s empty, thought I’d get a quick practice in,” he continued, his tone casual. Then, with a tilt of his head, he added, “Didn’t mean to interrupt. You were really going at it.”
You rolled your eyes, already tempted to pack up and leave. But before you could move, he gestured to your racket.
“You’ve got a killer forehand,” he said, his voice laced with a hint of genuine admiration. “I saw that last one before I came in. Honestly… I wouldn’t mind if you showed me how you did it.”
You blinked, caught off guard by the compliment. But the irritation was still simmering, and it bubbled over before you could stop yourself.
“Are you joking?” you said dryly. “You’ve been absolutely insufferable since the moment I met you. You’ve made me feel weird and out of place every single practice, and now you’re acting like none of that happened?”
Nicholas raised his hands, palms out, as if in surrender, but there was a flicker of something in his expression—amusement. He chuckled under his breath, which only made your temper flare more.
“And if you have a problem with fat girls,” you said, your voice sharp as you stared him down, “then just say it.”
The laugh died on his lips. For the first time since you’d met him, Nicholas looked caught off guard. His brows furrowed, and he shook his head quickly. “Wait—what? No. That’s not—”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I never meant to make you feel like that. I swear. I was just… being an idiot. Trying to be funny, I guess. Clearly, I failed at that.” His voice softened, and then he added, “For what it’s worth, I don’t have a problem with you. At all. You’re…” He hesitated, his gaze sweeping over you for a moment. “You’re hot. And you’ve got a killer body. I mean that.”
You blinked, stunned into silence. Of all the things you’d expected him to say, that hadn’t even been on the list.
For a moment, you just stared at him, your fiery temper cooling as his words settled in. There was something about the way he said it—cool and flirty, sure, but also sincere—that left you completely disarmed.
Finally, you exhaled and nodded. “Okay. Apology accepted.”
Nicholas smiled, this time a smirk of surrender rather than that familiar smirk as he took a step back toward his bag. “Guess I’ll leave you to it, then—”
“Wait.”
He paused, glancing over his shoulder as you crossed your arms.
“You almost made me cry you know,” you said, your tone light but teasing. “So I think you owe me. In the form of walking me home—after I show you the move.”
His smirk widened, and he stepped back onto the court. “Deal.”
The two of you spent the next fifteen minutes practicing together. Nicholas was attentive, actually listening as you explained the technique, and for the first time, it felt… easy.
When the session ended, you walked side by side through the quiet streets, the summer air cooler now that the sun had set. The conversation flowed effortlessly—where you were both from, your favorite songs, the best smoothie spots after practice. By the time you reached your apartment building, you’d almost forgotten the Nicholas who’d made practice so unbearable.
There was a moment of silence as you stopped in front of your door. Nicholas glanced down at you, his honey-brown eyes warm under the glow of the streetlights.
You tilted your head, standing on your toes to get a little closer. With a smirk, you said, “And if you thought one itty bitty overdue apology was going to get me, you really need to get out more.”
Before he could respond, you patted him on the shoulder, turned, and headed inside.
“Good night, Nick,” you called over your shoulder.
He laughed softly, shaking his head. “Good night, Y/N.”
-----
Over the next few weeks, something shifted between you and Nicholas. The jabs weren’t as sharp anymore, and the underlying venom had slowly been replaced by something else—something more playful, teasing, but still competitive.
You found yourself walking to practice together more often, your casual banter now peppered with teasing remarks, both of you pushing each other to be better. There was no denying that your attraction to him had grown—you’d try to shake it off at first, convincing yourself that the snarky, flirtatious back-and-forth was just that. But deep down, you knew it was something more.
Sometimes, after practice, you both stopped for smoothies. The conversation was easy, as if you’d known each other for years. You found yourself drawn to his dry humor, the way he would effortlessly make jokes even about the smallest things. You’d roll your eyes, but inside, you were smiling. There was a charm to him that you couldn’t quite ignore.
But despite the playful comments and flirtation, there was still a part of you that couldn’t tell if he was just being his usual cocky self or if there was something deeper there. After all, he’d told you that you were hot and even almost kissing you—yet it never felt like enough to confirm that he liked you back.
One afternoon, after practice, the two of you decided to hang back for some extra practice, the court still warm from the sun. The air was heavy with the scent of summer, but you were both determined to squeeze out a little more work. After a while, you both collapsed on the ground, breathless from the intensity.
As you went into your cool-down stretches, you groaned, stretching out your legs. “My legs are so tight,” you muttered, rolling your shoulders to relieve some of the tension.
Nicholas, ever the opportunist, watched you for a beat before giving you a crooked grin. “You know, I can help with that.”
You raised an eyebrow, but before you could respond, he was already moving to you.
“Lay on your back,” he instructed, and you did so without thinking.
He positioned himself between your legs as he gently lifted your right one, and pushed it back toward your chest. The strain on your muscles felt good, but the proximity of him only added to the tension. He didn’t seem to notice—at least, you hoped he didn’t—but when you let out an involuntary moan as your muscles stretched, the sound echoed across the empty court.
You froze, eyes widening, your face flushing with embarrassment. You quickly laughed to cover it up. “Echoing like that is crazy” you muttered, trying to brush it off.
Nicholas, ever the one to make light of the situation, chuckled. “Noted,” he said, voice teasing, his grin wide. “Definitely a screamer.”
You shot him a playful glare, but the heat from his words lingered as you pushed him off, “You’re so gross,” you gave him a playful nudge, finishing the stretching on your own.
The teasing didn’t stop there. A few days later, after another long practice, you and Nicholas were gathering your things when he said, loud enough for everyone nearby to hear, “I’ll be waiting for you in the shower, Y/N.”
No one knew the brewing tension between you too and just assumed Nicholas was his typical joking self, causing everyone to burst into chuckles.
Taylor, standing beside you, nudged you playfully. “Oh, come on. You gotta give me the details,” she whispered, practically bouncing with excitement.
Before you could answer, one of the older women on the team—Barbara, a rich and eccentric lady with a flair for drama—stepped forward, her eyes twinkling. “My pool was just refinished,” she announced grandly, hands raised as if unveiling a masterpiece. “And I’m throwing a little party this weekend to celebrate. You’re all invited!”
The room went silent for a moment before the chatter picked up again, everyone was excited about the prospect of a pool party, but you were still stuck on what Nicholas had said. His voice echoed in your head, making your pulse race.
---
You and Taylor slid into one of the cozy booths at your favorite smoothie place, the smell of fresh fruit and the hum of casual conversations filling the air. Taylor was practically bouncing in her seat, eyes wide with excitement as she shoved her açaí bowl aside and leaned forward, giving you her full attention.
“So, wait,” she said, eyes locked on yours. “You moaned out loud!?” She looked at you in disbelief, almost spitting out her bowl as she struggled to keep it together.
You nodded slowly, fighting back a laugh as she tried to process everything. “Yeah, it was—uh, kind of an accident.”
“No!” she gasped, her voice rising a little too loudly for the cozy shop. “You two almost had sex on the court!”
You quickly shushed her, looking around to make sure no one had overheard. You were already feeling the heat of your embarrassment creeping up your neck. “Shh! Taylor, you’re gonna get us thrown out,” you hissed, barely able to hold back your own laughter.
Taylor put her hand over her mouth, but her eyes were sparkling with mischief. “Sorry, sorry,” she whispered dramatically, though she was clearly struggling not to laugh.
“But I don’t know what to do. He’s so confusing, Tay.” Your face was hot as you tried to steady yourself.
Taylor raised an eyebrow, leaning back in her seat. “Babe, what’s confusing? He so clearly wants you to ride him like it’s no tomorrow!”
You rolled your eyes as a smile tugged at your lips, “I don’t know, he’s hot but am I really gonna fuck a go I met at club tennis?”, you picked up your smoothie to sip.
There was a pause between you two before unanimously responding,
“Yes”
You both burst into laughter, the patrons of the smoothie shop, including a family with a small child, shot you both looks.
“Okay, okay, here’s what I’m thinking.” Taylor shot up straighter, practically bouncing in her seat now. “After the pool party this weekend, we’ll come back to your apartment, hang out for a while. Then I’ll slip out and leave you two alone. You won’t have any distractions, and you’ll be in your space. So it’s just you, him.”
“You’ve thought about this, huh?” you shot her a slick look, eyes squinted with a smile.
“From the second you two were paired up, yes!” she grabbed uo Nike duffel bag and smoothie, Shooting up from the booth, “Come on, let’s go bikini shopping!” she called out from the shop door.
------
You and Taylor arrived at Barbara’s house, pulling up to the towering gates of a mansion that could only be described as extravagant. As you drove through the gates, you couldn't help but marvel at the meticulously manicured grounds, the sprawling lawn, and the grandiose architecture.
The house itself was a statement of wealth—an impressive Mediterranean-style villa complete with marble pillars, wide open terraces, and windows so large they almost felt like walls of glass. Barbara’s backyard was even more ridiculous, the pool area a luxurious oasis, with a hot tub, waterfall features, and a fully equipped outdoor kitchen. The scent of freshly grilled food wafted in the air, and the sound of music played from outdoor speakers, giving the entire scene a carefree, almost surreal vibe.
You and Taylor were among the first to arrive, but a few other teammates were already there, mingling and laughing by the pool. You couldn’t help but notice the energy—everyone was in high spirits, laughing, talking, and basking in the summer warmth. You and Taylor dropped your things by a lounge chair, and she immediately began making suggestions about your outfit, insisting you needed something to grab Nicholas’s attention.
“Trust me,” Taylor said, eyeing you up and down. “If Nicholas doesn’t jump on you the second he sees this, he’s an idiot.”
She was referring to the white bikini set you were wearing, with cute red cherries printed all over the top and bottom. You had picked it out impulsively, but Taylor’s enthusiasm made you feel even better about the choice. You stripped off your cover-up and walked toward the pool with Taylor at your side, trying to keep the nerves at bay. Music played from the speakers as people were already enjoying the pool, splashing around and lounging under the sun. The air smelled like sunscreen, chlorine, and summer—the perfect atmosphere for a party.
You felt the cool water on your toes as you entered, your body immediately relaxing. The food spread was tempting, and the drinks were flowing, but your attention kept drifting to the entrance. You kept glancing back toward the gate, waiting for him to arrive. Every time someone walked in, your stomach dropped, thinking it was Nicholas. It wasn’t. And the anticipation was starting to feel almost painful.
Then, he finally walked in.
It was as if he stepped through the door in slow motion—his entrance completely owning the room. Nicholas was wearing nothing but a pair of trunks, no shirt, and damn, he looked incredible. His body was... perfect. His abs were defined, his chest was bulky but still ripped, the muscles in his arms were sharp, and even the way his trunks hung just low enough made your heart skip a beat. You wanted to look away, pretend like you weren’t even interested, but it was hard to ignore someone who looked like that.
You quickly turned your attention to the people around you, trying to act like you hadn’t just caught sight of him walking in. You didn’t want to seem eager, even though your stomach was flipping with the idea of what was about to happen.
It wasn’t long before Nicholas made his way toward the pool, walking over to the edge closest to you. He kneeled down, his eyes locking onto you as he flashed that trademark smirk, the one that made your chest tighten.
“So, how’s the water?” he asked, his voice smooth but with an edge of humor, as his eyes roamed and settled on your breasts as they bobbed in the water creating small waves.
You didn’t want to show how much his attention affected you, so you smirked back and shot a casual reply. “Well, there’s only one way to find out.” You gestured to the pool with a mischievous look, inviting him to join you.
He took your cue, tossing his towel to the side and stepping into the water, the ripples spreading outward as he made his way toward you. There was no hiding the fact that you both had a simmering tension, but neither of you was willing to be the first to acknowledge it outright. You exchanged jabs and playful comments as you stood in the shallow end, water splashing around your legs.
After a while, Nicholas shifted, making his way deeper into the pool. You hesitated, not really a strong swimmer, and preferred to stay where you could touch the bottom.
“You coming?” he asked, his tone teasing, eyes glinting with that same challenge you were so used to.
“I’m good here,” you said, trying to sound nonchalant. “You go ahead.”
“You think I’d let anything happen to you?” he said with a wink. “I’ll keep you safe.”
There was something in his eyes that made it hard to say no. Reluctantly, you nodded. He extended his hand toward you, and you took it, letting him help you deeper into the water. The further you went, the higher the water got, eventually reaching just below your chin. When it was too deep for you to touch the bottom, he pulled you close, his chest pressing against yours in an embrace that left you breathless.
Before you could react, you instinctively wrapped your legs around him for support, and his arms came around your waist, pulling you in closer. You could feel his abs press against your stomach, his chest tight against yours, and—damn—it was hard to ignore the feeling of his body against yours, especially when you could feel him getting hard against you.
“Whoa,” he chuckled, his voice low and smooth as his hands settled around your waist. “Right here? In front of everyone?.” His tone is laced with the sarcastic tone that turned you on.
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the grin tugging at your lips. “I���m just trying to make sure I don’t drown, if i don’t want mouth-to-mouth from you”
Nicholas grinned, and the heat in his eyes made you feel like he was already undressing you with his gaze. “Well you rejected me once…,” he said, pulling you in closer, the muscle in his chest pressing against your stomach. His breath was steady, but you could feel his pulse quicken as he looked down at you.
You tried to ignore the way his body felt so firm and close to yours, focusing instead on your usual digs. “And yet, you clearly love a chase” you asked, tilting your head with a smirk.”
His lips quirked up into a smile, his eyes catching yours. “It’s not so much a chase at this point,” His grip tightened around your waist, and you could feel the subtle pressure of his muscles beneath the water. “The way your legs are wrapped around me right now…I thought I’d have to work a lot harder for that.”
You paused as your heart skipped a beat. You shot him a playful glare, “I actually don’t have a comeback for that,” your tone feigned a playful retreat. “But I wanna grab some of the fruit salad so can you carry me back to the edge stud?”
Nicholas raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching as if to suppress a laugh. “Well you’re losing with such grace, it’s the least I could do,” he said, his tone just slick enough to make your cheeks warm.
With an almost effortless motion, he floated you back toward the shallow end of the pool, the cool water rippling around you both. As soon as your feet touched the floor, you shifted to stand, but not before leaning in closer for one last jab.
You tilted your head toward him, lowering your voice just enough for only him to hear. “Oh, and by the way,” you said, smirking as you pushed a curl out of your face, “I wouldn’t say you’ve ‘won.’ The second I wrapped my legs around you, you were hard enough to poke a hole in my side.”
His breath hitched, his smirk faltering just slightly as his eyes widened in surprise. Before he could even process what you’d said, you winked and turned, pulling yourself up out of the water.
The air hit your skin, and as you stepped out, the droplets of water cascading down your body caught the sun, making your skin look like it was glowing. Your plush thighs flexed slightly with each step, your full hips swaying effortlessly as the cherry-printed bikini clung perfectly to every curve. Your stomach, soft and inviting, peeked out between the swimsuit pieces, the water droplets trailing down like a path Nicholas couldn’t help but follow with his eyes.
He swallowed hard, his blush deepening as his gaze lingered, clearly torn between being turned on and completely dumbfounded by your boldness.
You grabbed your towel, wrapping it loosely around your waist as you glanced back at him, your lips curling into a small, knowing smile. “Have fun cooling off, Nick,” you said over your shoulder, your voice light and teasing as you walked toward the fruit table.
Nicholas stood there for a moment, chest still heaving slightly as he watched you disappear into the crowd. “Damn,” he muttered to himself, shaking his head with a faint, incredulous smile.
----
The backyard was buzzing with conversation and laughter as everyone ate, spread out across the lawn. The sun had slipped behind a layer of clouds, casting a muted gray light over Barbara’s extravagant outdoor setup. The clouds grew heavier, and though rain wasn’t in the forecast, everyone kept a wary eye on the sky.
You and Taylor sat together near the edge of the patio, chatting while finishing your burgers. Taylor leaned in, her tone playful. “So,” she started, waggling her eyebrows, “Are we gonna talk about you and Nicholas basically dry-humping in the pool earlier?”
You choked on your laugh, covering your mouth as you shook your head. “Taylor!” you said through a fit of giggles. “We were not!”
Taylor smirked, shrugging as she took another bite of her food. “Could’ve fooled me. You were all wrapped up around him like a koala.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help laughing. “Okay, fine. But I think it’s going well. He’s definitely into me,” you admitted, a small smile tugging at your lips.
Taylor grinned, pleased. “Good! Finally!” she said, clinking her drink against yours. She started to ask what time you thought you should leave, but before she could finish, the sky opened up, and fat raindrops began to fall.
The peaceful scene turned into chaos as everyone scrambled to grab their things and get inside. Barbara, ever the eccentric host, ushered everyone toward the house, waving her hands dramatically as she shouted instructions. By the time you made it inside, you were damp from the sudden downpour, but at least you’d saved your plate.
Inside, everyone piled into the living room, which was decorated with retro, ’70s-inspired furniture. The centerpiece was a sunken conversation pit, complete with vibrant orange cushions and a massive coffee table in the middle.
Barbara clapped her hands together, her jewelry jangling with the movement. “Well, that was unexpected! I’m absolutely exhausted from hosting, so I’m heading upstairs,” she announced, sweeping a hand toward the stairs. “Feel free to hang out or head out whenever. Make yourselves at home!”
She disappeared in a flurry of gold bangles and silk, leaving the rest of you to settle in. The team naturally split into smaller groups, conversations bubbling up in various corners of the room. Nicholas wandered over and plopped down next to you and Taylor on the oversized cushions.
It didn’t take long before the two of you were completely in sync, your bodies naturally gravitating toward each other. At one point, your legs were thrown casually over his lap, his hand resting on your calf as you both laughed about something Taylor had said. Later, he laid down with his head in your lap, and without thinking, you ran your fingers through his hair, feeling the soft strands slip between your fingers. When he sat back up, you leaned against his shoulder, his arm brushing against yours, the closeness sparking something you couldn’t ignore.
At some point, Barbara’s husband asked Nicholas to help bring in some of the grilling supplies left outside. He reluctantly got up, leaving you and Taylor alone.
Taylor didn’t waste a second, leaning in with a grin so wide it practically split her face. “This is happening! I knew it!” she whispered excitedly.
You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t suppress your smile. “Okay, fine, it’s happening. But don’t make it weird.”
Taylor waved you off. “When he gets back, we should all head out—leave you two alone to keep this momentum going.”
You were about to agree when your phone buzzed. It was a text from Nicholas.
Nicholas:
Hey, I think someone left their purse outside. Is it yours?
You frowned, intrigued, but got up to check it out. You told Taylor you’d be right back and headed down the hallway toward the kitchen, which led to the back patio.
But just as you passed the guest bathroom, a hand reached out and gently grabbed your arm, pulling you inside.
Before you could even react, the door clicked shut behind you, and you found yourself pressed against it, your back meeting the cool wood. Nicholas was standing inches away, his chest brushing against yours with each shallow breath. His eyes bore into yours, warm and intense, and you could feel the heat radiating off him in the confined space.
Your voice low and teasing, “That was a pretty smart text. Almost convincing.”
His lips curved into that familiar smirk, and he leaned in just enough for you to feel his breath on your skin. “You’re right,” he admitted, his voice rough and dripping with confidence. “I do like the chase.”
Before you could respond, his hands slid to your hips, pulling you flush against him. The weight of his body pressed into yours, and you felt his grip tighten as your shoulder blades pressed into the door.
Your arms instinctively draped over his shoulders, your fingers brushing against the nape of his neck. For a moment, you just stared into his eyes, the air between you charged with anticipation.
“Well?” you said, your voice sly and challenging. “You gonna keep me waiting, or…?”
That was all it took. Nicholas closed the distance, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was slow and hypnotic, his mouth soft and deliberate as he explored yours. It was the kind of kiss that made the world around you disappear, leaving only the two of you in the haze of each other’s touch.
His hands slid from your hips to cup your face, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. When he finally broke away to trail his lips down your jawline to your neck, your breath hitched. He seemed to know exactly where to go, instinctively finding the spots that made your pulse race, kissing and biting gently at your skin.
Your hands tightened on his shoulders, your body arching into him as he pressed his lips to the sensitive curve of your neck. The intensity of the moment was almost overwhelming, but you didn’t want it to stop.
Your hands slid up the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair as if spurring him on, pulling him closer. Nicholas groaned softly against your lips, his hands tightening on your hips as the kiss deepened, each movement deliberate and consuming. He kissed you like he didn’t want to let go, his lips moving against yours in a rhythm that left you breathless.
His fingers brushed the strings of your bikini top, his touch lingering as if asking for permission. When you didn’t pull away, he gently tugged, the fabric slipping from your shoulders and falling effortlessly between you. He broke the kiss, his hands still resting at your waist, and leaned back just slightly to look at you.
The way his eyes widened, drinking in the sight of you, made your heart race. It wasn’t just lust—it was awe, the kind that made you feel worshiped under his gaze. “Fuck,” he murmured, his voice low and almost reverent. “I knew your body was insane, but…”
You didn’t even have time to laugh or respond because he leaned forward, taking your hard nipple into his mouth. His lips latched on, a low moan escaping as he suckled softly. His tongue flicked against the sensitive peak, sending shivers down your spine, and your hands instinctively found their way into his hair, fingers tangling as you held him close.
Nicholas alternated between gentle licks and firmer sucks, the sensation sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. His free hand trailed over your other breast, his thumb brushing across your other nipple with deliberate slowness, amplifying the heat building in your core.
You let out a soft whimper, your back arching as his mouth worked you over. The sound seemed to spur him on, and his hand tightened on your waist, pulling you even closer as if he wanted to devour every inch of you.
When he finally released your nipple with a soft pop, his eyes locked onto yours. They were dark with desire, a slight smirk playing on his lips as if he was proud of the effect he had on you.
You didn’t let him have the upper hand for long. Sliding your hands to his jaw, you pulled him up, your lips crashing into his in a kiss that was equal parts fiery and tender. As your mouths moved together, you guided him toward the counter, taking control of the moment.
With his back pressed against the edge of the countertop, you broke the kiss, your lips brushing his ear, he took a sharp inhale that had a hiss to it. “You want me to take care of you baby?” You whispered, your tone playful but laced with promise.
Nicholas let out a soft laugh, he tried to play it cool but he was too weak to actually speak. Completely wowed by your dominance, his breath catching as you kissed lower, leaving a trail of heat in your wake.
Your confidence grew with each reaction you pulled from him, his head tilting back as your mouth explored him. His hands gripped the edge of the counter, his knuckles white as you kissed down his torso, feeling the taut muscles beneath your lips.
When you dropped to your knees in front of him, his breath hitched, and his gaze snapped down to meet yours. The anticipation in his eyes was undeniable, his lips parted as he watched your every move with a hunger that sent a thrill through you.
Your fingers toyed with the hem of his trunks, your lips pressing soft, teasing kisses along his hips before you slowly tugged the fabric down. His cock sprang free, thick and hard, his arousal impossible to ignore. The sight of him made your pulse race, but you kept your composure, wrapping your hand around him and planting soft, deliberate kisses on his tip.
Each kiss sent a shiver through him, his body tensing under your touch. His breathing grew heavier, and you could feel his restraint slipping with every press of your lips. When you finally took him into your mouth, his head fell back instantly, a deep, guttural groan escaping his lips.
His chocolate-brown hair, still slick from the pool and rain, framed his face as he clenched his jaw, struggling to hold himself together. Your movements were deliberate, your head bobbing with a rhythm that drove him wild. Each time your tongue swirled over him, his moans grew louder, his resolve to stay quiet crumbling.
“Y/N,” he groaned, your name tumbling from his lips before he quickly covered his mouth with one hand, muffling the sound. The sight of him trying so hard to keep control only spurred you on.
When the pressure became too much, his hand slid to the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as he guided you with slow, calculated thrusts. His hips bucked gently into you, each movement precise as he tried not to lose himself completely.
“Fuck, you’re so hot,” he murmured, his voice rough and breathy.
You glanced up at him, your eager eyes meeting his dazed, pleasure-filled ones. The vulnerability in his gaze made you feel powerful, and when he saw the look on your face, his lips curled into a weak smile.
“Just like that, baby,” he cooed, his voice breaking slightly as he tightened his grip on your hair. “Keep that pretty mouth open for me.”
Just then, he pushed himself to the black of your throat, keeping your head there until you gagged a little, pushing off of him. He leaned down to kiss you, gently slapping your face, “good girl”.
Nicholas helped you to your feet, his lips crashing onto yours in a deep, hungry kiss before he turned you around. You caught your reflection in the mirror, his eyes devouring you, and felt a rush as he slowly slid down your bikini bottoms.
He dropped to his knees, hands gripping your ass as he began to lap at you from behind. The sensation made your knees tremble, and when his tongue flicked over your sensitive nerves, you couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped you. Your back arched instinctively, and you moved your hips, grinding against his face as he held you steady, his grip firm on your hips.
His lips wrapped around you, sucking gently, and you gasped his name, desperate for more. "Please, Nick, fuck me— I want you so bad," you begged, your voice ragged with need. He didn’t hesitate, his tongue more insistent, more eager.
A finger slipped inside, but as the pressure built, you felt yourself on the edge. "Nick, I’m gonna cum... please!" you cried out.
In one swift motion, he rose, positioning himself behind you. As he slid inside, a sharp breath left his lips, the tightness and warmth surrounding him almost too much. He slapped your ass, the sound echoing through the room as he began thrusting slowly, deliberately, making sure you felt every inch of him.
"You’re so fucking tight," he murmured, the words sending a shiver through your spine.
"Fuck, you’re so wet," he groaned, his pace picking up, his hands now gripping you tighter.
"You feel so good, baby," Nicholas continued, his praises falling from his lips, each one spurring you on.
Every time you dipped your head in pleasure, he tugged at your hair, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror. "Look at yourself, baby girl. Look how good you look taking me."
The sound of your bodies meeting filled the bathroom, and you couldn’t help but wonder how no one heard you. But it didn’t matter— it only fueled the fire inside you. With each thrust, you arched deeper, matching his pace, your body consumed by the pleasure.
You found yourself in control of the situation as you thew yourself into Nicholas, he thre his hands up surrendering to your will. He moaned out while you braced yourself on the counter to continue your pace.
You gripped the edge of the counter, using it for leverage as you set the pace. Your back arched even more, alternating between consistent movements and then pulling back, just to take him all the way in. You pushed your hips back, forcing him deeper inside, making him groan in response.
“Fuck, baby... you’re so fucking nasty, I love it,” Nicholas breathed, his arms wrapping around your torso as his pace picked up.
His hands slid from your waist to your hips, his grip tightening. With a sudden, forceful pull, he yanked you back against him, taking control, and in one smooth motion, he began to set the pace himself.
You gasped, unable to stop the way your body reacted, completely at his mercy. His thrusts were hard and fast, each one driving you forward, your hands struggling to stay steady on the counter as the force of his movements pushed you closer to the edge.
“You like that, don’t you?” he growled, his voice rough with desire. “You like me taking control.”
You couldn’t help but moan in response, your body giving in to his every move. “Yes, Nick... fuck, yes,” you panted.
His pace grew frantic as he increased the pressure, his hands gripping your hips to steady you as he fucked you harder. His breathing became more ragged, his movements more desperate as he chased his own release.
“Fuck, baby... I’m gonna cum,” he groaned, his voice strained, and you could feel the tension building in his body.
With one final, deep thrust, Nicholas pushed you over the edge. He came inside you with a low, guttural moan, his body tensing as he emptied himself. You followed close behind, your body trembling in ecstasy as you felt him finish, both of you catching your breath in the aftermath.
He stayed inside you for a moment, his hands still gripping your hips as he tried to steady himself. Slowly, he pulled out, his lips brushing the back of your neck in a tender kiss as he whispered, talked you down.
#lavender baby#nicholas chavez#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas chavez smut#nicholas chavez imagine#nicholas chavez x y/n#nicholas chavez x female reader#nicholas chavez x black reader#nicholas chavez x plus sized reader
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— [the perfect host]
featuring: s. geto, s. gojo
cw: smut, implied threesome, cunnulingus, implied m/m, phone sex (?), daddy kink (ofc), established relationship (reader & gojo), fingering, fem reader, chubby reader, getting “caught” masturbating, use of the word cunt (sorry lol), aftercare, not proofread fr, anything else i forgot lolz, pet names (mama, baby, pretty, sweetheart, love). wc: n/a.
notes: this is actually a fic my friend wrote (never published) & i re did it with two diff characters & finished it for her cause she never did… so if yall like it GO TO HER BLOG ILL TAG HER. this wasn’t my og idea i just wrote the smut and tweaked & added. but enjoy pls, sorry i haven’t posted in so long life has beat me up. @nvmjccnluv !!!
“so explain to me why i’m watching her again, she seems completely capable of staying in your apartment alone yknow.” suguru questions over the phone. it’s not that he hates you, but what if he was busy? he wasn’t, but gojo didn’t need to know that, he didn’t even ask to be fair. quickly dropping you off after handing the long haired man a small bag of your things.
on the other end of the phone gojo lets out a huff of laughter. “had a few things to finish up, she gets too lonely when i leave her at home so i didn’t want her getting into things. you know how it is.”
“i actually don’t, but okay man.”
“anyway, she doesn’t like many people but she didn’t seem to mind you the last time we hung out, you seemed like a safe option.” gojo continues, sounding a bit strained.
“okay, whatever, fine.”
“where’s she at anyways? if she was with you she would’ve jumped your bones to get to the phone.”
walking toward the the closed door in the hallway, geto chuckles before reassuring his friend. “relax dude, she’s in the room taking a na- holy shit.”
-
“what happened??”
the dark haired man places his ear on the door to make sure he’s not hallucinating, not saying that he’s hoping to be.
muffled moans greet his ears, but not muffled enough evidently. no, you wanted him to hear. he would have to pass by your room anyways, given that you two would be sharing a wall for the night. but him being on the phone with your boyfriend was just a coincidence, an extremely embarrassing one.
he listens to your soft whines and high pitched whimpers for what feels like days, though its hasn’t even been half a minute, paying no mind to the man yelling at him on the phone.
“SUGURU? ANSWER ME! IS SHE OKAY? I SWEAR IF SOMETHING HAPPE-” at this point geto tries to think as hard as possible to come up with a lie that won’t get him killed by his friend.
snapping out of his daze, he finally gets enough courage to respond, “yeah um i’m pretty sure, maybe i’m wrong, i think she’s uh masturbating.”
“oh, oh okay” suguru can basically hear a smirk he knows all to well forming on gojos mouth. “don’t be a rude host, go help her out man.”
what the fuck is he talking about help you out? he can’t be understanding that this is his girlfriend he’s talking about, right? on top of that, shouldn’t he be asking you for consent as well.
“are you insane man? i know you’re into all that weird shit, but her? she’d probably kill me before i even got close to the bed and throw my dead body out of my own apartment.” as nice as it sounds he didn’t know if you’d be okay with any of this. he wasn’t going to just walk straight in, right?
there’s a loud howl that comes directly from the other end of the phone. “are you really being this much of a pussy right now? i’m giving you full permission to go help my girl out, and you wanna whine about how she might kill y-”
“shut the hell up man, i didn’t say anything about being a pussy.”
“alright, then there shouldn’t be an issue with you helping her out. don’t sit up on your high horse and act like you haven’t thought about it before, i know just how those perverted thoughts of yours work, don’t you rememb-”
“okay okay shut up satoru, im going.”
pushing open the door, the first thing geto notices is your hand rubbing lightly between your soft thighs and how your wetness soaks the bed, clear evidence of how needy you were. how long have you been at it?
gojo can hear you so clearly over the phone, he might as well be in the room with you, “shit, is that her pussy i’m hearing? whats it look like?” he questions, but unfortunately for him he receives no answer.
suguru is too busy enjoying the view and listening to the pathetic little sounds coming from your cunt. his sweatpants are slowly starting to fit a little tighter than before, but he doesn’t make any movements yet, just in case you don’t wanna play this little game.
almost immediately your soft eyes flutter open and lock into his, and he swears he just came in his pants.
“sugi, please, it hurts so much,” you whine out to him, desperate for his veiny hands on you. your own hand never seems to falter though, only moving in more erratic circles around your sensitive clit; while your other hand is busy touching your nipples, trying to get the most stimulation possible.
knowing that you were just as needy for him as he was for you made the man’s confidence peak. he gives you a light smile as he walks closer to the bed, softly sitting down next to you. he leans over you a bit, close enough to where you can smell the minty, almost overpowering, scent of his shampoo. half his hair loosely tied up in a bun, the other half falling past his shoulders as he looks down at you.
“something wrong, pretty? those fingers not doing enough for you, right? don’t ‘cha wanna wait for your boyfriend to come back so he can help you out, he’s on the phone you know.”
his soft hands begin to work at your thighs, but it seems like it’ll never be any more than that. continuing for a little longer, he presses the speaker button on his phone, handing it over to you as you pull away from your core.
“can you hear me, sweetheart?” gojo asks, now finally getting some time to speak to you after being ignored for so long. “i gave sugi permission to help you out, okay? does that sound alright to you?” he utilizes the small nickname you’d given his friend, innocently coercing you to be good.
you give a small “mmm” in agreement. then, opening your legs, you grab at suguru’s hand and place it between your thighs, just barely touching your cunt.
gojo continues, smiling to himself on the other side of the device. “‘kay. i’m gonna talk you through it, just so i know you’re treating my girl right. take two of your fingers and stuff it inside of her, she’ll clench up at first but just keep working at it and she’ll open up, okay? maybe if you do good, you can have something too.”
geto lets out an annoyed breath, short, but just long enough for gojo to catch it. he knows what that means. what’s even stopping him from fucking you in first place? it’s not like gojo would know. but as he looks into your pleading eyes he realizes he’d do anything to make sure you’re content and happy.. even if that means listening to satoru’s perverted requests.
his fingers slide down to rub at your clit just a bit, before burying his pointer and ring finger deep into your cunt, you clench so tight around him, it makes him feel like he’s dreaming the way your teeth suck at your bottom lip attempting to hide your whines.
“cmon pretty, open up for me. promise i’ll make you feel good, okay?”
a throaty whimper slides from between your lips as geto’s fingers work you open. “‘s good sugi, please like that more.” you scoot down a little more, chasing his fingers to get even just a little more stimulation.
“next you’re gonna press on her clit, just a little though she’s a sensitive little thing.” gojo groans out, it’s obvious he’s taken a break from his work to focus on… other things.
“yeah yeah, i know how to use my fingers, asshole.” suguru voices, clearly annoyed. although, he still abides by the instructions and moves his thumb to press on your clit just a tiny bit. your back arches away from his fingers almost immediately, like a natural instinct, he grabs your plush hips with his other hand, pulling you back down. “nuh uh, c’mere sweet girl, you wanted my help you’re gonna get it.”
his delicate fingers curve upward into you and you feel as if you’re floating on cloud nine, the way he flicks them at just the right speed while managing to hold you down and deepen his movements. it’s all too much for him you.
the sound of gojo’s voice breaks geto out of his daze, “fuck, i gotta go suguru. i know you’ll take care of her. i’m gonna have to cut this shit short, i’ll try to come back later tonight instead of tomorrow morning. love you guys, love you baby, be good for sugi okay?” geto’s eyes immediately flicker to yours, and you see just a little bit of what you think could be fear, or excitement, in his eyes.
“bye daddy, love you too.” you whine out, hearing a quick click before the call ends.
“daddy?” he questions. “knew he was into some shit, didn’t know you were too, sweet girl. you’re too pretty and innocent, or at least you put up a good act.” his fingers slide out of you as he snickers, not ignoring the way you pout at the loss of stimuli.
“nah, not gonna leave you here all needy don’t worry mama, just gonna do it my way, that sound good to you?” geto grabs you by your hips as you choke out a small “yea”, pushing you closer to the headboard of the bed. he fully removes his hair tie and throws all of it up into a bun, swiftly grabbing your underwear and pulling it off.
you look down at him as he crawls closer to you on his stomach, wrapping his arms around your thighs and closing them around his head. you feel his fingers spread your cunt apart, licking a long stripe onto you. your body tenses up, and on instinct your hand finds its way into suguru’s hair, tugging lightly. his head perks up at you, smiling, but eventually just deciding to leave you be.
his tongue swipes over your clit, taking small breaths occasionally as he tastes your cunt. neither one of you know who this is really for at this point. he’s supposed to be ‘helping you’ but with the tent growing in his sweats he might as well be doing this for his own pleasure instead. you continue to take harsh pulls at his dark strands, so unfamiliar to you. mostly with satoru you opted for scratching at his shoulders or gripping at the sheets due to the length he kept his hair, but this, this was something you could get used to.
“sugi please, m so close, want it so bad, need you to make me cum.” you cry out, loving the way his nose rubs against your clit as he licks.
he doesn’t say anything, he can’t really, but you know he understands. he grips your thighs tighter, licking the same way as before, occasionally sucking at your clit, and before you know it you’re squirming all over his face as that familiar feeling rushes over you.
the only thing that suguru could make out of your cries were “thank you”, “so good”, and “daddy”? he wasn’t sure if you were calling him daddy or if you wanted gojo, but at this point it didn’t really matter to him. he pleased you and that’s all he needed to make him feel better.
as he lifted his head up from your pussy he could already tell how tired you were getting, he immediately grabbed you a change of clothes that gojo had packed and cleaned you up with a wet washcloth. “everything okay, mama? need anything?” your eyes strain open and you smile at the man standing above you, “i’m okay, thank you for your help. will you stay?” you could tell that he genuinely cared for you, and was worried he had done something wrong by the tone in his voice. him staying was more for him rather than yourself, not that you were complaining.
he pulled off his shirt as he crawled into bed next to you. grabbing his phone from the bedside table he saw that gojo had sent him a message.
“i’ll take care of you both when i’m back, cause i’m betting you didn’t take anything for yourself. see you both soon ;)”
suguru chuckled to himself at the message from his friend, looking down at you peacefully sleeping on his chest. maybe he could get used to something like this? but for now, he’s content.
#satosugu#gojo satoru#gojo saturo smut#geto suguru#geto suguru smut#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#geto x reader#gojo x reader#satosugu x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#geto x you#✉️#getou suguru x reader#geto smut#geto fluff#gojo fluff
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I Wish You Knew…
Player 001 x reader
Masterlist <- comment on this post to be added to the tag list
You sat on the dull bed. Awaiting nightfall to come. You hadn’t eaten, the games made you so distraught you couldn’t bother to work up an appetite.
“(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” Young il asks you. Breaking you from your dead stare.
“I hate this place. I wanna go home” you look up at him with big, teary eyes.
“Baby girl” he said sweetly, sitting at your side. “It’s gonna be okay” he wrapped you in a hug.
“It’s not okay!” You cried loudly. “I’m stuck here. I hate it, there’s nothing here for me. I don’t even want the stupid money”
“Im here.” He says calmly. His heart took a hit, you said there was ‘nothing’ here, what was he then? Nothing? Or was he the exception? He ruled it as you were just emotionally distressed.
“Well, yeah. You. But nothing else. I miss my bed, I miss home”
“(Y/n)…” he sat pensively, what do I say? He thought. Do I tell her? What if she hates me, I’ll lose her forever… how the fuck do I make this better? Think, In Ho, THINK. He argued with his thought for too long. He sensed your emotions shift.
“Whatever” you say. “I don’t expect you to understand, you’re home anyways” his eyes widened. Did you know my secret? What do you mean “I’m home anyways” ? (Y/n) what the fuck do you know.
“(Y/n), I feel the same as you. I just don’t know what to say to make you feel better.” Young il replied. “I just don’t know -“
“You don’t know what to say. Yeah, I know. Same as every boyfriend I’ve had before” you roll your eyes gingerly as you lay back. Your stomach growling loudly.
“Pretty girl, have you eaten at all?”
“No. I’m not hungry” you turn away from him. “I just want to go home” he sighs, standing up and walking into the food line. He awaited his turn, peeking over his shoulder to check on you. He felt miserable… maybe getting you out was a good idea… you’re not eating, who knows if you’re really sleeping.
“Hey, can I get two of each, please? One of the other players… she isn’t strong enough to stand on her own and she needs to eat.” Young il spoke in a low voice. The masked men bowed quickly and handed him 2 of each item.
When Young il returned you were still in the same position he left you in. Your eyes puffy and red. He looked sadly upon you. Oh (y/n), I wish you knew… he thought to himself. I wish you knew the things I really did.
“Here baby” he passed you water. “You need to drink something, you need strength for the next game” you pushed his hand away.
“I don’t want it.” His shoulders tensed in annoyance.
“If you don’t sit up and drink something water, right this minute, I swear I’m gonna IV your ass and MAKE you drink water” he said sternly. You sat up. Your eyes bloodshot. You took the bottle from his hand, squinting your eyes at him as you did so.
God definitely sent you down as punishment. You were his girl, but you were a pain in his ass since he took you in. A lonely girl, who didn’t have a team. The 6 legged race was stressful, though you saved them time with your amazing gong gi skills as Dae Ho took on Ddajki.
“Now take a bite” he held out a spoon for you. You turned your head. “(Y/n), stop acting like a decrepit child and eat. You will die if you have no strength” he said pressingly.
“Fine.” You snatched the contain out of his hand. Scarfing down your food like you were never going to see it again. You glared at him as you handed the empty tin back to him. “I’m laying down now”
“(Y/n)” Young il said gently. He laid down next to you, his food forgotten on the floor. He held you in his arms. Stroking your hair gently. “I love you” he said.
“I love you too” you sighed gingerly.
Time skip: the middle of the night
“(Y/n)” young il shook you. “(Y/n), wake up”
“Hm- what?” You say tiredly rubbing your eyes.
“Come on, you’re going home.” He said. You stood up and followed as he led you out of the door. “Listen, you’re gonna go home and you’re gonna wait for me” Young il told you.
“How will you find me?” You ask as a pink man grabbed you.
“I will, I promise” young il said as you were being taken away.
“Wait! Young il!” You shouted frantically. “I said “fucking wait”” you punched the guard, forcing him to let you go. You ran to Young il. Jumping into his arms. You kissed him passionately, a tear falling from your eye. “You better get out of here alive.”
“I will. I promise you, I’ll meet you on the outside.” He said, kissing you back. Laying kisses all over your face.
“Meet me at 111 Dokseodang-ro Yongsan-gu, Seoul 04419.” You tell him. “Apartment 206”
“111 Dokseodang-ro Yongsan-gu Seoul 04419. Apartment 206” he repeated. “Got it. I’ll see you in a week at most” he kissed you one final time before letting you go. He smacked your ass as you turned to walk away.
“I love you” you shouted to him from down the hall.
“I love you more (y/n)” he shouted back. “I love you more than anything” he said quietly watching you turn the corner.
Taglist
@christinamadsen @sebbymybaby21 @nakiio5775 @xcinnamonmalfoyx
#hwang in ho#hwang in ho x reader#player 001 smut#player 001 x reader#squid game#squid game smut#the front man x reader smut#the frontman#x reader#front man x reader#in ho x reader#young il x reader#young il#in#lemon#player 001#player 001 fluff#player 001 lemon#player 001 x reader smut#the front man fluff#x reader fluff#x reader lemon#x reader smut#the front man#the front man smut#front man#fluff#squid game season 2#smut#in ho squid game
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why does being at my parents make me feel so physically ill. theyre not even HERE.
#I can feel my lifeforce draining away I cant do anything and I keep crying randomly for no reason. trapped in the torture labyrinth#i just want to fucking work out. but i cant and my head hurts and im giving up and walking onto the railway track behind the house#I think I just deal rly badly with change + transitions even if thats just travelling which is a shame bc I actually like travelling#and I like spending time w my family but theyre not even here rn anyway so#zero executive function turtle on its back type shit going on here and im so!! lonely!! i need a thousand year long hug#dies and dies and dies and dies and djes and dies and#except its fine like its rly not that bad. and being in the flat is its own different but not necessarily better type of insane#like okay my brain isnt working here. but what have I been doing the last couple months there. exactly lmfao#the problem rly isnt even being here its just me. but idk how to explain that to other ppl bc theyre just like well dont go home!#u dont owe anything to ur family! like not to be rude but shut up. that might work for u but clearly u understand nothing abt me#or my relationship with my family. like yeah i complain abt them + being at home but ur perception of that is heavily biased#bc im not going to complain to u abt u or how mentally ill i get in the flat. am i now. exactly. they all probably think im fine lmfao#or if not fine then like. coping alright. instead of being in survival mode half the time#who fuckinf cares whatever ik I dont mean all the shit im thinking anyway im just in a piss poor mood !!!!#im going to shower. and then go get smth to eat. and find a movie to watch. and hopefully ill feel better then#and if not well theres always tomorrow or next week or next month itll pass#urgrjhfhdhh#.vent#sorry everyone if ur reading this im blowing u a big kiss for being so tolerant of my dumbass ranting ty
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