#anyway im doing great /s
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new jjk season has me crawling back to old fic ideas......my low confidence, need for serontonin, spite, and lack of time are currently beating each other up in backyard and they havent stopped since last night
#me: i wanna write that one gojou sickfic with shoko#also me: ok but thats so self indulgent is anyone gonna read it#well the POINT IS THAT ITS SELF INDULGENT BC I WANT TO READ IT ITS NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE PER SAY#BUT CAN I WRITE IT IS THE QUESTION#also thinking about gojo taking toji's stance in the manga during the sukuna battle LIKEEE DID MAKI TEACH HIM THAT OR DID HE JUST HAVE SUCH#A LONG FLASHBACK THAT HE DECIDED TO COPY HIS DEMONS#ALSO also thinking sooooo hard about THAT one line for ichiji like HELLO......#also i WANT to write that one shoko gojou reunion but man i dont remember whats going on exactly in the manga beeofre that#i cant do plot i just do emotional tension#and theres also that Fucking Voice in my head that says noooooooo all your chracterizations are wrong and no one likes them#ITS MY FCUKIN INTERPRETATION.....I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.........#look i have a very vivid image in my head of what would happen but i dont konw if anyone else wants to see it#AND I SHOULDNT CARE TBH BC I WANNA WRITE IT#but ahhhh#anyway im doing great /s
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"It's more than something. It's everything."
s8e11 "Life Time"
painted screenshot. cannot give a time estimate, i lost track long ago. still gouache brush, my beloved, with blur tools to fade edges and so on
i have to go to the zoo now and will be making the version with the clock later [i cannot express how long ive been battling with hawkeye's face, gamers]. background went very fast like i said it would lol
version 2 [as in, w/ clock] will probably be done later today, and i will edit this and add it when that happens [and prolly make a separate post too, for celebration purposes, and will link them]. i will also compile progress pics for that post. they are terrifying early on lmao
"A lot of very touching songs came outta that war" previous painting
"It was pink, and perfect, and I tossed it in the scrap bucket" previous painting
everyone say thank you to bj to being a perfect painting subject today he was very polite and he looks about how i wanted unlike SOME PEOPLE
that was me to my sibling last night, and i stayed up til 1:10ish and still didnt finish the final pass over hawkeye's eye. everything else took like 5ish minutes
also everyone say thank you to margaret and nurse kellye for also being perfect and lovely and pleasant to work with
photo used blatantly stolen from this post thank you again @remyfire i owe you my life
update edit;
clock back
#mash#mash 4077#m*a*s*h#mash fanart#mash art#mashblr#hawkeye pierce#bj hunnicutt#margaret houlihan#nurse kellye#just so you know the working title for the last piece was 'detroit: become sleepy'#and the piece before that was just called 'teehee' because i couldnt think of anything clever when i saved the file#and the working title for THIS piece was 'heterosexual staring'#i also might post my layer names throughout the process just to show off how goofy it got#like i got one now just called 'crunch'. i dont even know what its for#not to mention 'hair shit debacle augh' and 'paint [real]' with its brother 'paint [imposter]'#anyway the parts im most proud of are hawkeye's clothes and his neck creases#and then bj's forehead and eyes and nose and hair#that lamp is also a banger that shit took like 40 minutes it was a great little treat#also shoutout to their ears wherein#once again. i put off the ears til the last minute and then nailed them immediately#i just hate doing them. i do well at it but i hate em#.update#.my art#not a screenshot#i used a screenshot to paint over it piece by backbreaking wristspraining piece but this IS a painting#anyway go check out my fic its somethin. i am a man of many talents. and they're all being used to give me the brain chemicals from MASH#.reasons my wrist is suing me
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blue lock as gordon ramsay moments (shoutout to one of the most legendary haters of all time🙏)
#it's the way these all might as well be canon for me#if someone showed me these lines and was like ' these from the new bl chapter' id be like. okay#the fact that isagi in like half of these proves how great of a character he is xoxo i love you. please only get meaner and worse#if isagi beckoned kaiser over and whispered ' fuck off ' in his ear kaiser would probably come in his shorts right then and there#anyway do you guys think i sometimes say weird stuff? am i like offputting? i cant tell. ily all#oh anyway btw I got a super cool blue lock sweater yesterday and im wearing it rn anyone wanna see#also i was making caprese for breakfast and i accidentally dumped the whole container of salt on the mozzarella so i had to#rinse wet pathetic slices of mozzarella cheese under the tap in the sink. it was so sad. anyway how was your day#thanks to my s/o for the m3m3 idea#blue lock#mine#isagi yoichi#itoshi rin#itoshi sae#alexis ness#barou shouei#oliver aiku#noel noa#gagamaru gin#ego jinpachi
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Illustrations of a fic 'Guide in Training' (ch1) by Cello_Fiend. I absolutely recommend checking the series out (here) 💖💕!
I didn't add the speech bubbles because of spoiler reasons but the corresponding paragraph from the fic is under the cut ⬇️:
“Eighty-seven,” Yoojin said in disbelief. He looked at Sung Hyunjae with tears forming in his eyes. “We got eighty-seven.” Sung Hyunjae watched Yoojin with a small smile. “Didn’t you say the results would be low because of how nervous you were that day?” “Did I say that? I don’t remember.” Yoojin wiped a few stray tears away. He shouldn’t be this happy, but the relief was overwhelming.
#haha im obsessed. great fic <333#looking at shj now... he especially looks like a simp in this one doesn't he? lmao#hah and I admit that I had no patience to do a background. nobody cares about those anyway ~#sung hyunjae#han yoojin#s classes that i raised#s class#sctir#tsctir#mayhem art
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:
#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨#and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate#so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah.#thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou#i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh#compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol#i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help—#so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig#my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa#i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control…#b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you#tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao#so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol#but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato)#so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though#either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane#i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date…#at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration…#…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig.#oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far…#i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience.#help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m.#anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee
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#starting to feel Real Anxious about my final assignments im so fucking stupidjfkddi#naurr cuz i feel it it my stomach this is NOT looking good i dont know how im gonna make everything but i just know that i gotta find a way#djdkdkdj this is NOT LOOKING GOOD I REPEAT I THINK im gonna get into an anxious episode which means im gonna feel like im about to have a#heart attack during the entire time im awake and im not gonna be able to sleep bc of it#nxnxxjdj this is great!!! and tem what's funnier is that i set myself up cuz i HAD time i HAD TIME i just didn't have the will#whats tem omg but anyways i feeeel it i feel it im gonna start feeling so bad tomorrow#ughim so fuckiggndn stupid#need to write an 8 page internship report due Thursday#a two page final assignment for history class due Wednesday#a group thingie due friday... i dont know if im gonna have the brains to write all of this during three days cuz tomorrow i wont have time#i have classes during the afternoon and night and i need to make a presentation for this other final assignment due tomorrow night so the#morning is gonna be about doing that lmfao im so cooked cuz i dont really have an easy time writing i hate writing specially academically s#like i hope i die i hope i get ran over or something#jfkskd came back to jot down that i also have a portfolio to turn in on friday lmfaooo
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#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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ITS BEEN A FUCKING WEEK. PASS THE DETRITUS
#howling#had a lvl 1 trauma at abt 720#which sucks but we were managing fine#call er back at 750 as protocol to ask if theyve transfused and if theyll need more and to make sure they have a t&s ordered#secretary confirms that both units were transfused + they wont be needing more (lol) + a type and screen WAS drawn just not ordered yet#ok cool. all i have to do is wait for the specimen so i can crossmatch the units#im chilling in bloodbank doing bloodbank things#meanwhile. er calls the front desk (blood bank has a separate phone line. they specifically called the lab line instead)#lab assistant takes the call (like normal). theyre not sure what er said exactly but theyre planning to transfer the patient somewhere#and mentioned 'something like mpp???'#midnight tech was upfront and overheard. immediately asked if they meant MTP#lab assistant wasnt sure but said she had asked if er wanted to talk to blood bank (aka me) and they said no#both the assistant and the tech assumed that they DIDNT actually mean mtp because that would be fucking bonkers#if they casually mention it to a lab assistant and NOT FUCKING BLOOD BANK#and i didnt hear about this phone call until like maybe an hour or two later btw#anyways. yeah no they called an MTP#thats always fucking awful but they DID bring down the t&s partway thru#patient had no history and the only other specimens on file were drawn at the same time#so i order a confirmatory type to make things easier later on. it needs to be drawn by either the nursing team or by a lab assistant#screen is negative so at least we only need to do an immediate spin crossmatch on everything#we get all the units emergency issued + the platelets are ordered and issued normally after the t&s is done since it doesnt need a xmatch#er cancels the mtp. theyve transfused 6 out of the 8 units we sent them. two remaining units being sent to or#or is told directly that the mtp was canceled and that theyd need to call a new one if things escalate again#ok. things are calming down. its fine. i got all the xmatches done and theyre all compatible which is great#we get in a delivery from arc of platelets bringing us back up to 6 on the shelf (we need 5 on hand tomorrow morning for an open heart)#(at this point i find out about the phone call i mentioned earlier)#i get a call from or. my heart sinks immediately#or nurse says they need 2 rbcs and 2 platelets and theyre sending someone down RIGHT NOW to pick it up#we still hadnt gotten that confirmatory btw#im too stunned to say anything else so i just go ok. and hang up
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SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything
#this aint exactly s******* but it aint exactly not s******* either#anyways it gets even harder when i have to live under the same roof as my brother who is so much better than me in every single conceivable#and imaginable way possible like#and i knowwww a LOT of it comes down to us having relatively similar yet wildly different lives despite being 1.5y apart and having the sam#family our entire lives like he has gone through NOTHING and i mean not a single societal issue ive had to face and endure my entire life#he's a man im a woman. he's white im black. he's straight im gay. he's skinny ive always been 'overweight'. he's always been the good#christian kid ive always had issues w faith and religion. he's never been mentally ill i was clinically depressed for nearly 8yrs of my lif#we both lost the same parent and im the only one who got pathological grief and a personality disorder out of it. he's had a great job for#the last 7yrs that now pays him 20k+ every month ive only had 3 odd jobs my entire life and 2 of those my MOTHER had to give me so i would#have SOMETHING and ive never made over 1.6k monthly n my last job was minimum wage only#he's had like 4 relationships and is nearly engaged im so traumatized + emotionally unavailable ive only ever been on 1 date my entire life#he has a good relationship w every family member we have i have Issues w like half the family. he's always been an active member of our#church i can barely listen to like 4 traditional hymns before i start losing my mind and spiraling. i think the only two ways we're pretty#much equal like socially is that we're both able bodied cis and christians but still the cis and christian thing is debatable for previousl#stated reasons so like. do yall see how much better he is doing than me in every little last area in life and how he's always gotten the#long straw when it comes to Not having to deal w certain obstacles in life. n i know its like yea idk what it actually is like to be him an#he could not be doing all that well first of all shut up. second of all if it was 1 or 2 things i'd get it but it's literally EVERYTHING#and i know bc of said things n our v different lives it's unfair to me to compare the two of us but then it begs the question: WHY#WHY did i have to go through these things. WHY do i have to deal w this. WHY did i get the short straw literally every goddamn time#WHY did i have to get THIS life like WHYYYYY why ME GOD. why have I had to put up w all this bullshit for 24 fucking years!!!!!!!!! im TIRE#and this is not me hating or resenting him i know it's not his fault and he is so good to me#but still. why was i left with these things? to live like this?#so yes i guess i do envy him a little bit. who wouldn't#mari.txt#personal#tw negative#dl#btw i do NOT mean some identities are better than others. i mean he is better and is doing better than me in life partially bc he's never#had to deal w certain social issues and obstacles that come w oppressed identities.
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halfway thru my first drivers ed session. idk if i can do this aftually lol
#purrs#there’s like 30+ ppl in the class and most of them are high schoolers who already have like at least 20-30 hrs and i have 3. also the#instructor is really nice and means well but she is also a little clueless and she embarrassed me in front of everyone (or maybe i#embarrassed myself) bc she had us all introduce ourselves and say what we like to do and i said play video games and she was like oh are you#a bit of a gamer 👀 have you been to any of those conventions. LIKE 💀😭 NO I JUST PLAY SILLY LITTLE PET GAMES…..#but ajyways um. i don’t have enough driving experience to start behind the wheel lessons yet 💀💀💀💀💀 and we r watching videos rn and it’s so s#scary like istill have such trouble even maneuvering the car around how am isupposed to develop situational awareness and be driving on high#hihways and shit. this is so overwhelming. it’s like ‘every moment ur behind the wheel u and the ppl around u are at risk’ well idont want t#to be at risk or risk others lives. but also i need to move out. help 💔💖#anyways this class has INSANELY long breaks (like 15+ mins thank god) and we might be able to end early every day too so. fingers crossed it#wont be that bad and i’ll actually retain stuff and learn to drive fucking finally. but im so scared#also on thursday we are watching a video depicting a graphic c*r cr*sh so. that’s just fucking great#drivers ed tag
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#;ooc#ooc#;delete later#dl#seeing s.hi's neuvi reminds me of my g/nshin muses era#i still like their icons they still look cri s p y to me#ANYWAYS! I give my beloved mutuals all my muses bc u are all great#let's have the most ambitious crossovers... (insane) together!! (sparkling and rose petals fly in the bg)#im not really writing on the majority of them; tho k.aveh pops up from time to time#i think at this rate i might have tackled all the primary colors as main themes/vibes for icons#oh wait nvm#purple...#OH WAIT!#i do have purple icons#also sobbing- purple isnt a primary color but shhh#also waving at all my muts who write g/nshin charas! i kiss u guys foreheads
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not to be political but I've seen a lot of people saying that those who call Israel an apartheid don't know what they're talking about and um. As someone who has studied South African apartheid as well as grown up in a Jewish community. This claim has more merit than you think
#this post is brought to you by an article i read “debunking” the claim that israel is an apartheid and their “evidence”#included several policies that are the same if not more intense than apartheid era policies against black south africans#there are comparisons that hold weight here#although one thing i dont get and havent had explained to me yet. it looks to me as though both arabs and jews are indigenous to the region#in the way that both the hopewell culture and lenape people are indigenous to my state of pennsylvania#and thats a flimsy comparison i suppose since the hopewell culture (who lived here first chronologically) has died out#but anyway theres a case for indigeneity for both jews and arabs#its so silly to me that we dont consider both to be indigenous? yes many jews that came into israel in the early 20th century were#white europeans and carried the colonial baggage of that with them#but idk why its so hard to believe that an oppressed group can also be an oppressor?? like where's the intersectionality babes#anyway. the original point of this post was that maybe more of yall need to look into what south african apartheid was actually like#much like h*m*s leadership a lot of the ANC leadership was forced into exile and had to live and work outside of their country#(and this comparison is not perfect im aware. the tactics of the anc and h*m*s are totally different. however i think this comparison has#weight in that they are both one of the biggest names in opposition to the government. they do this in different ways at different levels o#intensity and violence. that is not to be ignored. but there are some comparisons that we can make and exile doesnt strike me as a bad one)#the bantustans in south africa were also constructed in a way that much like the west bank makes it highly difficult for an actual real#state to form#and the way that theyre set up invites puppet governments and corruption. this gives a major advantage to the apartheid state#id recommend reading Trevor Noah's Born A Crime if you havent#its a great introduction to what daily life in aparthid and after was like (its a memoir from about 1990-2005ish)#(apartheid was legally ended in 1994 but there are still remnants of it today and there were even more at the time of Born a Crime)#anyway these are my political thoughts of the day#edit: to my tangent about both groups being able to have some sort of claim to indigeneity. that in no way justifies any of the brutality#going on#i think its espeically cringe of israel to claim indigeneity and a sacred relationship with the land then create an environmental#catastrophe like they have in gaza. making the land unliveable is a bit of a perversion of the relationship you have with that land innit#in case it wasnt clear: ceasefire now and free palestine
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same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
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The multiple miki thing might be because Miki could've been based on Charizard M and that thing is known for cloning itself.
Tbh i cant fault shadowmalerenamon for completely changing doors open when rewriting it. Having missingno be the main antagonist was miles better than how Steve was in the original.
( mention of suicide ig )
i respectfully disagree . i see where you're coming from but i think all of the rewritten strangled... duology i guess bc strangled red itself never got one
( thank fucking god to be honest. it needs No change. although at the same time its kind of funny it never got one bc its the most popular one and going more into him as a Person if smr didnt fuck it up would be nice ... but im too attached to my own interp based off of his canon implications to care about what smr kind of has to give. and he already did that in og strangled red, to a degree, although it focuses on the tragedy there is character stuff to be extrapolated from the implications of the story if youre very deeply ill. like me. )
- is a lot less character-focused, at least on steven specifically, and is focused on explaining or rewriting shit that never needed to be explained or rewritten. it is a revisit and reinterpretation of the story, that to me, is just purely kind of . Not good or fun to read. and the new shit it introduces is fucking stupid imo. steven being banished by the town instead of... fucking. killing himself ( especially specifically by cop. that's lame and way more boring + FUCK THE POLICE !!! + It feels out of character for steven he would just do it himself like actually. Also yk. hanging yourself is narratively thematic and ironic. ) or whatever goes so much harder .
guy who loves his town and home region and wanting to be a role model and wanting to be cool so badly being driven mad and then the entirety of kanto, his homeland, forsaking him and walling him off goes crazy . Also because it implies they're scared of him to some degree which also makes me go crazy as an implication.
[ more put below bc i love to fucking yap about strangled red and how much i dont like the rewrites ]
i Will not step down from 'the rewrites arent good' . Doors open is mostly bad because stevens characterization is garbage. even though its random and from left field ( why the fuck is he in sprout tower ) it couldve been handled well if it was written better characterization-wise.
also i supposed the 'M charizard makes sense. not. not really i don't actually think smr thought that through. if he did, which he couldve because she is named #'M# in Strangled Red, cool, but i still think it's just to make the "miki" name thing with 4 party members he has. which is cool admittedly. it's just that i hope it is never explained why he has 4. and it never has since, doors open rewrite didnt do anything with that thank god.
and bc he wouldnt have any other mon other than miki post-incident and afaik that thing only replaces existing partymembers, and steven canonically releases all his team in SR + pokemon avoid him. but yea. Doors open i treat as a 'spinoff' in a sense bc nothing from it really makes sense when properly thought through, and its basically there to make the lost silver crossover i feel. also, yk, he literally says "Never." in strangled red when you press switch on 'M / missingno/revived/whatever you want to call miki post revival. its kind of out of character for canon-compliant steven to have anything other than miki post-incident for these 3 reasons - i only made a team for him post incident bc im autistic about pokemon and pokemon teams so that was for fun.
basically it makes more plotholes and questions than not the more strangled reds plot stuff tries to be explained or added upon esp in the remakes which i think are not fun reads if you like steven as a character anyways. and also bc strangled and doors open in the ogs are easter eggs. trying to explain what is supposed to be an in universe easter egg in pokemon would obviously be kind of a lesson in futility. not. not exactly but at least in the way smr does it.
strangled makes sense, you just go to his fucking house and hes there. yea. doors open is like. Yea hes in johto now. dont ask. but its also easily explainable as... He just fucked off to johto. For what reason? idk. hates kanto bc theyve forsaken him and banished him to the Woods, just wanted fresh air i guess, or just for fun. these are all more plausible reasons.
iirc the rewrite doesnt even say why hes there and if it does the reason is convoluted and not needed. i think its just 'hes a ghost hallucination... thing??? following the mc which is the most boring route to go for with steven and the most uninspired thing ever, and missingno was not the antagonist just a plot device in the og story Why are we focusing on it so much.' and its still a plot device in the rewrites! it isnt explained ( good the explanation would be kind of awful ) and i cant see any good way to explain missingno other than the way i do as a fun idea. which is biased but the 'failed clone of mew number 3' is a fun idea.
this is an insane ramble from a deranged person. if you can't tell i fucking love steven as a character and smr does him dirty except in strangled red, really. strangled... is fine but bc he barely talks in that one and when he does its like. yea. that checks out.
no hate to you btw none of it was directed at you specifically just smr and strangled reds various canons. you just gave me an excuse to ramble about how much i dislike the remakes tbh. I fucking LOVE analyzing why i hate things esp involving steven bc hes not greatly written by his og creator and not often greatly written by the fandom either .
#wispy chatters#ask#answered#As you can tell i do not like the remakes.#or doors open but doors open is at the very least funny to read bc of. [ gestures at s!3v3n/steven ]#Steven is once again shafted as a character!!!!!!! It is likely made out of spite!!! Etc!!! At least DO is funny !#also i just dont think doors open needed a rewrite. smr admitted himself that it was a very dogshit story#ALSO ALSO stevens characterization once again teeters to IM CRAZY IM INSAAANE INSAAANE ASYLUM in the remakes.#and steven being a kind of weird hallucination. ghost. Kid. instead of a guy whos still alive but just forsaken and not himself is boring.#the rewrites feel like a netflix adaptation. if that makes sense. like a really bad netflix adaptation that adds things for the shock of it#that truly is just how they feel. that is the best way for me to Describe how they feel.#ok ill stop now. but the remakes will never do SR justice. SR is the better story of all official strangled red shit#and it was made in like 2011.#smr isnt bad at writing but by god 3/4 times he sucks at characterizing steven .#disagreeing with the author of your favorite media is the worst thing ever it fucking sucks you wrote it why dont you Get it.#when fanfic more deeply explores and answers questions in a satisfying way youre kind of fucked#and this is from someone who is neutral-to-dislike on fanfic fandom and also ao3 in general. fuck that site#which tbf a lot of his tag on there isnt... great. but theres a handful of great hidden gems#anyways read faulty on ao3#not maintagging this bc i dont want to argue this point. i could debate it but my stance wouldnt change trust me.#plus i hate maintagging its why all my hc or fic posts are strangled red steven adn not strangled red#if you like the rewrites i think youre wrong. but i respect your opinion. i respectfully disagree basically.#once again no hate to the asker you just gave me an excuse to ramble bc i love analyzing what i dislike in writing
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I think the nature of Clara haterism on Tumblr can’t be fully understood without the historical context of 2013. Namely that by the time of DW season 7b Moffat was widely hailed as The Bogeyman Of All Misogyny Ever. Clara was considered THE prototypical Shallow Moffat Girl, and she became a sort of figurehead for everything wrong with the show. (Bc everyone was maybe 14 and Smith was too beloved to insult.) Consequently, she evokes a kneejerk bad faith reading response in many users even today.
yeah, alright, i can see that. i am surprised that, at least as far as i’ve seen, amy & river don’t get the same treatment? or if they did, it hasn’t persisted half as long as opinions on clara have. Because having now seen how all three of them were written, amy got treated. so much worse with The Misogyny™️, and River bounces between ‘actually a fascinating character’ and ‘moffat wrote a sexy girlboss who wants to fuck the doctor’ so hard it gives me whiplash. (and i say this as a River enjoyer, I love her and she deserves so much better lmao.)
Of the three of them, I think Clara actually comes out a lot better written overall? She’s allowed more space to be a character rather than be a woman, if that makes sense. Sure, bit of a rocky start in s7, and I can certainly see why the Impossible Girl thing could be aggravating to some people. (I think it was. Fine. fantastic episode conceptually that sort of fell apart when it came to actually doing anything.) but Clara in s8 (and the start of s9) is fantastic. Her relationship with Danny and the Doctor is messy and deceptive and so understandable. “Listen” as an episode almost felt like ‘hey what if the clara putting herself in the doctor’s past was actually interesting and impacted him’. Her becoming more like the Doctor, especially after losing Danny, both as an effort to hold on tight to the only person she perceives as keeping her moving forward and giving her a purpose AND because to her, the Doctor is able to lose so much and not be destroyed by it and she wants that (without really understanding just how much this life is fucking him up, too.), is just. fantastic.
where was i going with this. i have no idea. my point, i think, is: i guess i can see how initial reactions to clara might color a less than flattering picture of the rest of her, but :( consider: i love her so so much and everyone should be niceys to her.
#i was sort of neutral on clara for most of s7 i think#she had great moments but i think a lot of what was holding her back was the same thing holding most of eleven’s seasons back as a whole#which to me was. what the fuck are they doing with that guy. does anyone know. did anyone have a thesis in mind for this man.#which makes it hard to build a companion around him as a foil because what are you foiling.#amy & rory didn’t have this problem as much because they were a set do not separate and thus could play off each other as well#(river. is another story.)#and because 11’s relationship with the ponds was maybe the one thing the show kept on track the whole time and understood what it was doing#with them. clara’s is. a lot messier. it’s both building to a twist with the impossible girl thing that’s. a bit lackluster.#and then 11 without the ponds is. kind of a mess. like. character-wise. even more so than before. as far as i perceived it anyway.#but 12 does not have that problem! 12 starts off with a bang knowing exactly where he’s going as the doctor and what question he’s answering#about himself. and that gives clara so much more room to grow herself as she patterns herself after him both to feel important and to escape#the horrifyingly mundane trauma of her boyfriend. dying. in a normal way. that was also her own fault. (not really but i believe she thinks#it is.)#you know. if s8 12 is asking ‘is the doctor a good man?’ and answering ‘no. he’s just a man. he’s just there and he makes the decisions#and he doesn’t even know if they’re the right ones.’#then s8-s9 clara is responding with ‘well. if the doctor isn’t a hero. then what happens when someone tries to emulate him that sees him as#one. or worse: as someone who ought to be one.’#and the answer seems to be ‘bad idea. very very bad idea. this is fucking her up so bad and she doesn’t even realize it.’#granted im not at the end of this plotline but so far: ITS GOOD!!!! clara is great!!!!#anyway. thats my clara thoughts. actually i have more about ehy the moon abortion episode (bad) was ooc for the doctor but! very good#character moment for clara in reacting to what he put her through and how that’s foundational to how she’s rebuilding herself in his image.#but ill leave off here.#clara oswald#dw lb#ask
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