#anyway if I post anything else before i finish my essay yell at me

[hms-chill]

Kicking Underwater

Summary: "He's not going to be the youngest elected congressman in history without earning it, but nobody needs to know how hard he's kicking underwater. His sex-symbol stock would plummet" -- Casey McQuiston, page 3

----

Henry knows that Alex's midterm season will be hard. He knows Alex overworks himself, so he talks to June, and he makes sure he knows exactly how to look after Alex when he's at his busiest. He's ready to come home early when he can, bringing Alex's favorite takeout for days when making dinner together would take too much time. He's ready to drag Alex to bed by two AM, ready to keep him from drinking too much coffee and hiding in the office with the blinds closed all day.

What he isn't ready for is a version of Alex at midterms who seems normal, if a bit more tired. Yes, Alex is working more, but it seems reasonable. They still have their biweekly cooking lessons, and Alex joins him for David's walks sometimes. He comes to bed at reasonable hours, and he promises he's hydrating and eating while Henry's gone. So, even if Alex starts to look more tired or worried, things seem to be alright. He still works hard, he has late nights of studying or dog walks where he spends the whole time thinking aloud about an essay, but it's far from the self-destruction Henry was afraid of.

Maybe, just maybe, he's been able to help Alex relax. If Alex looks more tired, maybe it's just showing on his face more than normal. He's tossing and turning a bit more at night, but he always seems to relax when Henry holds him. If he looks more stressed, well, they can't exactly expect a stress-free midterm season. But things don't seem much worse than normal, and June seems happy, so Henry convinces himself not to be worried. He still worries, of course, but he tries to convince himself not to.

There's one week in particular that he's dreading. It's a week when Alex has two tests and an essay, and the class he's a TA for has a test, so he has forty-some essay questions to grade amidst his own studying.

But Sunday ends, and the chaos week starts, and things seem alright.

Alex's class take their test on Monday, and Alex brings home a stack of papers, but he agrees to take a break and walk David while Henry proofreads his essay, and they both agree that it's a good enough essay to call it for the night. Henry thinks it's good enough to turn in, but Alex wants to tweak it, and it's not worth the argument as long as Alex is coming to bed without Henry having to plead.

He looks tired on Tuesday, but he swears he's alright, and Henry trusts him. It must just be the stress of the week. He makes sure to tell Alex he loves him a few extra times, and even convinces Alex to accept a shoulder rub while he grades essays and makes study guides. And really, all things considered, it seems good.

Henry's not sure what wakes him up somewhere that feels like Tuesday night but is technically Wednesday morning, but when he cuddles closer to Alex to try to go back to sleep, there's a light. He opens his eyes a bit to see Alex awake, one hand around Henry, the other furiously typing into his phone. In the light of the phone screen he looks exhausted, the bags under his eyes exaggerated and every stress line deepened by the long shadows. Henry hums, reaching a heavy hand up to push Alex's phone down. Alex looks over in surprise, phone still in place.

"Hen? What are you doing up?"

"You?" Henry asks in place of an answer. Alex sighs.

"I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd get some more work done."

Except that, when Alex wants to sleep but can't, he gets up. He'll get a glass of water, or he'll wander down to the kitchen in search of helados, or he'll go to a window for some fresh air. Once, Henry even found him looking up yoga poses in the hallway outside their room. An Alex who wants to sleep but can't is a restless creature, a far cry from the boy gently stroking Henry's hair with a google doc open on his phone. Henry just shakes his head. "No. Stop work. Sleep."

"I can't sleep. I've just got to clean this essay up a bit, and then I can stop worrying about it."

"Please sleep?" Henry asks, finally awake enough for complete sentences. "It'll be there in the morning."

"So will everything else. I just have to get it done; go back to sleep."

"I thought it was done." It's due tomorrow, but Alex had said he'd turned the essay in earlier that day. Henry wonders vaguely if he can re-submit it, or if he'd never actually turned it in.

"It's... fine. It's good enough, maybe, but it's not great. I'm just... making it better so I can turn it in again and have it be great."

"It doesn't need to be great. It's okay. You're working so hard, and you're doing your best, and that's all anyone can ask. You don't need to keep working all the time, you need to sleep. You're enough as you are," Henry says.

Alex finally lets him push the phone down as he rolls over to bury his face in Henry's chest. Henry's a bit surprised, but he pulls Alex in close, rubbing his back as Alex's hands grab onto the pajama shirt Henry wears mostly so that Alex can hold onto him if he needs to, just like this. Henry just holds him until Alex looks up and says, "you're the only one who's ever said that. That I'm good enough, I mean. Other people say... they say I'm smart, or good at things, but then I have to keep being smart and good at things so I don't disappoint them. I always, always have to keep... keep being those things without trying, because if they seem me trying, or if I'm not smart or good at things, then they... it feels like they won't like me. But you... you're the only one who ever says I don't have to be anything more than I am."

"You don't, love. You're enough. Everything you do, everything you are... you're more than enough, and I adore you just how you are. I love how hard you try, but it's... you don't need to. Not for me, at least. For me, just being you is enough."

Alex lets out a snort of a laugh, humorless, his hands still tangled in Henry's shirt. "I... I don't think anyone's really gotten to see me trying before. Maybe June knows, but that's because she's smart and knows everything, not because I let her see. I... really, no one was supposed to know how hard I work. It... I'm supposed to just be naturally good at everything; I'm not supposed to have to try."

"Well, that's not very realistic."

"I know, but it... it's how it's supposed to be."

"Says who?"

"Everyone. I can't be, you know, millennial heartthrob Alex Claremont-Diaz if I have to wear reading glasses, or if I'm skipping parties to write essays, or if I drop out of school because I fail con law and I can never look Professor Westbrook in the eye again." Henry presses a gentle kiss to his forehead, trying to smooth the wrinkles there, as he processes that. He can't promise that the world will love a bespectacled Alex as much as he does, or that anyone in their right mind would understand if a law school student has to focus on a test. So instead, he focuses on the last point, knowing for a fact that Alex's con law grade is miles from forcing him to drop out.

"What do you have in con law right now, Alex?"

"A 98%, I think. But we have a test this week, and that midterm paper isn't in yet."

"I think, with a 98% and a very good paper, you're rather far from failing."

"I still could."

"I'd love you anyway. So would your family, and Nora and Bea and Pez."

"Maybe. You'd all be disappointed, though."

"We wouldn't. Or, well, I wouldn't, at least. Not if you'd done your best."

"If... if I tried and still failed, you wouldn't be disappointed in me?"

"Not at all. I love you, and I don't think I could ever truly be disappointed in you for trying." Alex looks genuinely surprised by that, and Henry's heart breaks a bit as he realizes that Alex wasn't sure of this.

"I'm proud of everything you do," Henry says softly, pressing a kiss to Alex's forehead. "I'm proud of your work ethic, and your drive to make things better. I'm proud of you when you ask for help, and when you give yourself a break, and when you put your life on hold to help people you care about, and when you're able to say no to people because you need to do something for yourself. I am always, always proud of you and the good things you do."

"Really?"

"Really. You don't need to be anything more than who you are and want to be. I'm proud of you, and I love you, and you're enough for me, no matter what."

Alex's phone buzzes from somewhere between them, but Alex ignores it to close his eyes, resting his forehead on Henry's collarbone.

"I'm proud of you. Not the things you've done, not the bits and pieces that you let everyone see. You, fully and completely. You're more than enough to make me happy forever," Henry says softly. Alex takes one deep breath, then another. Henry keeps him close, rubbing gentle circles into his back as Alex slowly accepts the compliment.

"I... I think I needed to hear that. I've been... if I tell you something, will you promise not to be mad or take that back?"

Henry nods, and into his chest, Alex says, "I've been working on study guides and essays from my phone while you sleep. Just for the past few days, but I... I wanted to be able to work, but I didn't want you to worry, so I... I waited for you to fall asleep, and then I'd stay here but work on things until I was too tired to think anymore. I'm sorry I lied. And... and that I pushed too hard. I didn't... it wasn't the plan, it just happened, I guess. I'm sorry. I'll stop."

"It's alright. I mean, it's not... I wish you hadn't, but I'm glad you told me, and I'd like to help you look after yourself. If you need to stay up later to work, you can tell me. If we need to skip a cooking lesson or a dog walk or anything, just say the word, and we'll skip it. I'm proud of how much you want to do well, and I'm proud of you for letting me know you're pushing yourself a bit too much. Could I help with the school stuff at all? Maybe I could quiz you, or grade a multiple choice section of some of the tests if the professor doesn't mind?"

"I... I think the quizzing would be good when I have a study guide. And for grading, I... I'll talk to the professor." Alex doesn't move, so Henry presses a kiss to the top of his head and says, "I love you. And I'm proud of you, I really, really am. You're more than I could have ever dreamed of, and more than enough for me."

Alex's phone buzzes again, and Henry fishes it out from between them by the charging cord, reaching over Alex to set it on the end table, switching it to do not disturb. When both his arms are back around his boyfriend, Alex cuddles in closer. He's snoring softly into Henry's chest within moments.

He's beautiful. Knowing what the days before this have been hurt Henry's heart, knowing that Alex has been so exhausted and that Henry hadn't been able to convince him to look after himself. But this Alex, the one who's finally resting, is beautiful. So Henry holds him close, and he kisses the top of Alex's head, and he swears to anyone who might listen that he's going to look after Alex. He's going to make sure Alex knows that he's proud of and supports him no matter how he does in his classes or internship or anything else. And, from now until the end of time, Henry swears that Alex will know exactly how overwhelmingly, unendingly loved he is.

On AO3

Notes:

Me? Writing something to process the terror of graduating from college when all your options are shut down by a pandemic? Never.

-

Want to support the Hannah-Makes-Art fund? You can tip me in ko-fi here!

[gummygowon]

cute relationship things with ateez!

genre: fluff (a lot)

warnings: none :)

established relationship!

a/n: i meant to post this like two weeks ago but i never finished it so consider this an early valentine’s day gift <3 ;) 

seonghwa:

for some reason, i feel like seonghwa likes to read books

with that being said, on lazy days where you guys didn’t want to get up and do anything

you guys would read books !!!

before you guys would read some were recommendations from each other on your own

and then maybe rant to each other over little details about the book like how the main character went back to their toxic ex or how the ending of a book was so bad

“seonghwa, how did you even read this?!? the stupid ass main character keeps going back to that one jerk! like does she not realize she deserves more than his ugly ass???!!!?”

“y/n, just keep reading.” 

“but hwa-”

turns out the main character got with the other woman yayyyyy!!! fuck shitty men

i don’t know how it happened but you guys started your own little book club with each other

so you guys could finally talk rant together at the same time about the book

so since you guys started to read the same book and if you guys found down time together you would read together

like, imagine it’s a peaceful friday night

seonghwa is back from work and so are you

you guys already showered and ate dinner

you’re just reading and then seonghwa just scoops you up and then puts you in between his legs with your back against his chest

and you’re like “wtf bro?”

and he’s just like, “what? i wanna read too???”

“didn’t you like read ahead tho??”

“yeah, but i wanna read it again.”

that was a fatass lie

he just wanted to be close to you 

hongjoong:

ok so, we all know that this man is hella busy all the time

mans is the leader, song writer, producer, dancer, rapper (which is why he is good at all positions)

but you were patient with him and whenever he goes days without seeing you due to his busy ass schedule he would make it up to you yk what i mean

but on the more chill days when you saw hongjoong or even the days where he was cooped in his studio (you would visit him there because sometimes you just had to see him)

you guys would just lay on the couch, just enjoying each other’s presence and not feel like you have to make up for lost time

you would be on the bottom on your phone or reading a magazine/book

then hongjoong would be at the top with his head on your stomach as he would be writing down lyrics that came to mind

killing two birds with one stone you feel me

sometimes you would show him a funny meme that you found or quote something that you just read to him 

“hongjoong, look at the way he fell!” you would be dying of laughter

and then he wouldn’t notice because he was really roped into making lyrics 

but you also didn’t see him focusing so much because you were of course laughing at the kid that accidentally got bitchslapped off the couch because of their sibling

“joongie look!!!”

“what is it?”

you would then show him what happened and then he would look at with that “you really interrupted me for this??” type of look

“i just lost my train of thought for this song because you wanted to show me this kid falling off of a couch???” 

“yes?” 

he would just bring a hand to his face and think what tf? why tf? and then slowly start laughing because of what just happened

“see, wasn’t it funny?”

“a child getting hurt isn’t funny, y/n” he would laugh while scolding you

yunho:

yunho powers im sorry for this one

alright so, it’s night time 

you guys are about to go to bed after a long day or work/school whatever

your eyes are fluttering closed because the day got you beat beat

but then yunho just kisses your face

and then you open your eyes slowly again to see yunho look like he just got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do

like imagine a kid that just got caught drawing on the walls

that’s what his face would look like

he’s just laying there like “i thought you were asleep...”

“i was just about to...”

yunho feels lowkey guilty now because you’re awake now and he knows you had a long day

he just couldn’t resist kissing you 

you just looked so pretty and peaceful sleeping 

mans was reminded by the universe themself about how lucky he was being able to date you

like, godamn what did he do in his past life to deserve you?

ok, back to this reaction idea thing-

yunho would apologize for waking you up with his cheeks a nice rosy color

you just look at him with tired eyes 

“i’ll forgive you, if you give me more kisses.”

and yunho’s smile just lights up the whole damn room and he’s like oh? say less

so he goes to kissing your face

like all over

your nose

your cheeks

forehead

basically anywhere ok?

and you end up laughing because it tickles 

but you just want him to kiss your lips which he does 

... eventually lmao

but when he does your still laughing which causes him to laugh

he tells you “i love you, did you know that?”

and you get all flustered and shit but you still keep that playful energy around 

“i love you too, but you aren’t forgiven just yet”

which leads to more kisses :))))

yeosang:

ok so you’re now the busy one

yeosang has so much respect for you because holy shit how do you balance that busy ass schedule of yours

your homework loads were no jokes 

then to add to that you have a job which was even more stressful

it was amazing how you can manage all that and still keep a smile on your face

you also had major respect for yeosang as an idol

the industry was not a place to fuck around 

you couldn’t be happier that your boyfriend was lucky enough to have a group who actually cared and supported each other

speaking of ateez, yeosang isn’t the most touchy person in the world

you didn’t mind of course, you’re the same way

however, when he did give you cuddles and kisses you would be a blushing mess

a sort of rare sight that yeosang loved to see

anyways, one night you were busy writing those argumentative essays that you were sure that your fingers would fall off by the time you were finished

you were working on it ever since you got home from school (with the occasional food and bathroom breaks )to the time when yeosang came back from practice

you moved to your shared bed by the time the sweaty boy came home and he was surprised that you were working on one subject for so long

the stupid piece was almost finished by the time yeosang was out of the shower

however, you didn’t even notice

you were too immersed in your writing to notice

yeosang took this as an opportunity to sit behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and watch over your shoulder as you worked

and of course, he would kiss your cheek occasionally

this was super sweet gesture but yeosang but you didn’t the notice that he wrapped his arms around you

“ai yah! what the hell?” you yelled and turned around to see your boyfriend clutching his chest

“oh it’s just you.”

yeosang would give you a deadpanned look and be like, “yeah, who else tf???”

you would apologize and kissing his cheek before returning to back to work 

which yeosang would return to hugging your waist and keep his head on your shoulder

and give you occasional kisses on your cheek or neck

after that night, it became a weekly occurrence

which you loved of course, who wouldn’t love their bf cuddling them while they chased their bag

san:

i am very excited for this one

ok so, san loves playing with your hair

it’s just so much fun 

running his fingers through it or just attempting to braid it or put it into a tiny ponytail

he loved it

he would probably always play with your while you were watching tv together, sitting together in the car, or even before you guys fall asleep

then one day after san came home early from work 

you guys were chilling on the bed watching the latest k-drama that came out since san made you wait so you guys could watch it together

san was in between your legs with his back leaning against your chest 

and that’s when you decided to run your fingers through his soft, fluffy hair

that’s also when san asked you to braid his hair

“sure, what type of braid though?”

“there’s different kinds????” 

“yes, san. now pick one.” you gave him your phone that was pulled up to different types braids.

“i want the french ones. they sound fancy.”

you roll your eyes and start sectioning his hair into two sections and start braiding his hair and lightly pull on the pink strands because you know san likes his hair pulled

so you doing his hair right 

and you begin rambling about your day/week

talking about whatever interesting happened to you because you know that san likes hearing you talk no matter what it’s about

however, you were knee deep into talking about the latest drama at work that you didn’t even realize that san stopped talking

“san?”

he didn’t answer and his head would be dipping down so low you were surprised you didn’t fall over

“baby?”

san still wouldn’t respond to you 

but this time he just flipped over so his head would be on your stomach as he wrapped your arms around your stomach

“mmmmmmm?”

“nevermind love, just sleep.” 

he would respond by burying his head further into your stomach and tightened his hold around you

you kissed his head and ran your fingers through his hair which lulled san to sleep even more

“goodnight sannie.”

mingi:

you have been best friends with song mingi ever since you moved into the tiny neighborhood that you call home

it all started when your parents brought you over to your next door neighbor’s house for breakfast on a cold saturday morning 

you were extremely shy when you were little so the only thing you could remember about your first experience with mingi was hiding behind your mother’s leg for the first hour of being there and watching the young boy play with his toy cars and planes before he finally offered a pirate ship to you

ever since that unforgettable saturday, you pretty much spent the rest of your childhood with mingi

you guys were practically joined at the hip 

even when you were getting endlessly teased by your classmates for the first month of school for having an accent whenever you spoke 

which resulted in you running to the bathroom crying

not even a minute later, you heard someone burst through the girls’ bathrrom

“y/n?”

you peaked your head out of the stall to see your tall neighbor looking out of breath

“mingi, you aren’t supposed to be here!” you said in between sobs

“it’s okay, i don’t care.” he said as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around you. “are you okay?”

you shook your head no looking at him with tears running down your face

the poor boy was internally freaking out since he has no clue on how to comfort people (especially if they’re a girl)

he was like eight at the time give him a little break

so of course, his first reaction was to make you laugh somehow

and he did this by randomly recreating the “boots and cats, boots and cats” rhythm after seeing siri do it in a youtube video and started to bop his head 

surprised by his sudden movements, you laughed out of pure confusion

as soon as mingi saw the corner of your lips flip upwards he began rapping faster to the point where he was gasping for breath leading him into a coughing fit 

“mingi you can breathe, y’know!” you giggled in between words

after the young boy had caught his breath from hacking away at his lungs, he smiled at you 

until- the teacher had came into the bathroom, scolding mingi for going into the girls’ restroom

even though mingi didn’t care at all that he got in trouble, the only thing he cared about was that you were feeling better

ever since then whenever you were sad or having a bad day mingi would whip out his phone and ask siri to rap while he free-styled over the monotone voice 

he literally still does it

even two years into your relationship-

“siri, can you rap for me?” mingi would ask his phone as he pointed his free arm at you

“boots and cats-”

“mingi, please no.” you laughed in between tears, your mood rising with every beat

wooyoung:

i wholeheartedly believe that wooyoung would kiss you face if you were sad

but the first time this happened, you guys were still fairly new into your relationship

which meant that you weren’t completely ready to be extremely vulnerable around wooyoung 

because in your mind, letting someone see you at your lowest lows of means that you really trust and love someone to let them see you like that

you always wanted to be known as the strong person in the friend group

you were that glue that held everyone together

always listening to others and taking care of others before yourself

which is why wooyoung fell in love with you in the first place

he had never been in a relationship where someone was so caring and thoughtful of others that he was scared that he wouldn’t be enough for you and that you deserved better

of course, he didn’t tell you that right away but he confessed to you about that wayyy later in your relationship which is another story to be told

but one day, life was coming at you so fucking fast

assignments were piling up left and right and deadlines were literally every other day

and then there seemed to be an increase in the amount of angry karens at your work

and your patience was thinning everyday with those people

then to top it all off, all the tests you’ve been studying for, you got mediocre grades, some even worse in other subjects

it just felt like no matter how much work you put into whatever you do, you got half ass results

it was just pushing your mental health further into the ground

you could handle a C every once in awhile but multiple? on back to back tests? no fucking way you just couldn’t

those stupid, dark thoughts would cloud your mind in an instant and on days like this, you would just let them consume you

you were too tired to pick yourself up again and fight back which led to you crying in wooyoung’s arms

usually, you would feel so embarrassed crying over things like this when you know other people have it worse but you couldn’t hold in it anymore 

you ranted about yourself in between your hiccups from crying which would hurt wooyoung’s heart a little bit

because he thought of you as such a strong and kind person- the complete opposite of what you were saying about yourself

so when you were done talking, wooyoung made you look at him and assured you that you were not any of those nasty things that you said about yourself

each insult turned into a thoughtful compliment accompanied by a kiss

“y/n, you are so intelligent-” 

kiss

“caring-”

kiss

“beautiful-”

kiss

“more than everything i ever wanted”

kiss

by the time wooyoung was done, you were a giggling mess

“and this is why i love you.”

he finally kissed you on your lips, smiling into it like the dork he is

it was the first ever time he told you that he loved you

jongho:

i am also a firm believer that jongho would sing his s/o to sleep

like with that heavenly voice of his, he better put them to sleep 

so on the first night you ever slept with jongho, you were too nervous to go to bed even though your body was screaming at you to close your eyes 

you kept tossing and turning every few minutes or your eyes would shoot open with your heart racing

at this point, you gave up on trying to sleep and got up (carefully to not wake up your sleeping boyfriend) to get a drink

while you were in the kitchen, clutching your chest in an effort to get yourself to calm down, jongho had stirred awake to an empty bed

a flash of panic surged through his body as he momentarily forgot where he was since he wasn’t at his dorm his room never looked this clean 

yawning, the vocalist would wander into the light with his eyes squinted, “y/n?”

“oh my god!” you jumped, water almost spilling out your glass

jongho covered his ears, “what are you doing up?”

“oh,” you felt your cheeks turn red since you felt bad for waking your boyfriend up. “i can’t sleep.”

“why?” he asked, walking towards the couch.

“i don’t know.” you answered as you followed close behind. 

you curled up next to jongho, clutching his shirt “i’m sorry for waking you up.”

jongho smiled tiredly at you before kissing your head, “don’t be. it’s okay. i don’t have work tomorrow anyways.”

you smiled in response before the two of you guys fell into a silence

“do you want me to sing you to sleep?”

“yes, please.” you murmured into his side as jongho placed his other arm around you, successfully trapping you in between his arms

he began singing softly into your ear as he stroked your hair

his warm voice coaxing your eyes to close 

at last, your mind was at peace with itself

your heart beat slowing down

and by the time the song was finished you were fast asleep in arms

jongho kissed your forehead once more 

“i love you.”

[devildomimagines]

Solomon: Simeon broke the Purgatory Hall's router, so I'm borrowing your guys' router for a bit. Hope you don't mind.

How do bros react?

I'm not gonna lie, I laughed when this came in. I took this as Solomon hanging around the HOL but as I was writing I realized you might have meant Solomon taking the router so I put that in Levi’s part.

Belphegor

He probably wouldn’t notice at first.

Rudely awakened, in his opinion, by an explosion below his room in the attic.

He was going to go back to sleep but when he smelled the lingering smoke, he figured he should check it out.

Yawning, he opens the door and finds Solomon fanning a cauldron while reading through his tablet.

“Belphegor! Did I wake you? I’m sorry, there was an unexpected reaction.”

Always one to get right to the point, Belphie asks, “Why are you here?”

“MC said I could come over. Simeon broke the Purgatory Hall’s router, so I’m borrowing your guys’ for a bit. Hope you don’t mind.”

Belphie furrowed his brow and answered, “No, just keep it down or move somewhere else.” Ultimately he didn’t care as long as his naps wouldn’t be interrupted.

Beelzebub

Beel was on the way out of the kitchen and passed Solomon sitting on the couch in the common room.

He was a few steps from passing the room completely when the sight of Solomon finally registered. He took a few steps back.

Solomon giggled as Beel came back into view. “Hello~”

Beel popped a chip in his mouth as he replied, “Hi Solomon, no offense but what are you doing here?”

“No offense taken, Simeon broke the Purgatory Hall’s router, so I’m borrowing your internet for a bit. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Ah. I don’t mind.” Then a thought popped up, “Does Lucifer know you’re here?”

“MC invited me so I assumed they asked permission.”

Beel nodded, “Probably. See you.” He then headed towards his room to get ready for a run. He also doesn’t really care.

Asmodeus

“Solomon!?” Asmo gasps, “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming over!?”

Solomon sighed, “If I told you then I wouldn’t get any work done.”

“Work?” Asmo walked over and rubbed Solomon’s shoulders. Asmo scanned the papers spread over the dining room table and the website pulled up on Solomon’s laptop.

“Simeon broke the Purgatory Hall's router, so I'm borrowing your guys' router for a bit. Hope you don't mind.”

“Of course not! You’re always welcome!” Asmo smiled warmly at his pact partner.

Solomon couldn’t help smiling back, “Do you want to join us? MC should be back shortly with some snacks.”

“How can I say no to my two favorite humans?” Asmo giggled, “I’ll go grab my school bag.”

Satan

Irritation flared as he came across someone sitting in his favorite chair in the HOL’s library.

The flash of white hair had him seeing red, he was ready to rip Mammon out of the chair with force if needed.

When he stomped around to be face to face with the wrongdoer, he was taken back, “S-Solomon?”

“Oh hi Satan! Doing some reading?” Solomon gestured to the book in the blond’s hand.

“Mhm,” he hummed as he wrangled in his wrath but he couldn’t stop his next statement’s bite, “What are you doing in our library?”

“Simeon broke the Purgatory Hall's router, so I'm borrowing your guys' router a bit for research on this project. Hope you don't mind.”

Satan nodded, “That’s fine.” He resigned himself to his second favorite chair, “Simeon sure does have a penchant for breaking technology in unexplainable ways.”

“Right?” Solomon laughed and the two settled into an amiable silence.

Leviathan

30 minutes to release, Levi reminded himself. One of his favorite animes was premiering their season and series finale and he was binge watching the show to be ready. He had it timed perfectly, he’d wrap up 5 minutes before, get some water and snacks and settle in.

At 20 minutes, his TV and computer both went black. He freaked out and when they both booted up with an interrupted connection error he stormed from his room.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” Levi yelled with a pointed finger as he found Solomon packing up the router.

“Simeon broke the Purgatory Hall's router, so I'm borrowing your guys' router for a bit. Hope you don't mind.”

“I absolutely do mind!” Levi ripped the router from the bag and started plugging it back in. As it reestablished the connection, he looked at the time, 10 minutes!

“Well what am I supposed to do, MC said I could use it for a bit?” Solomon looked to Levi for answers.

Hating to cross MC and also running out of time Levi said, “I don’t know, just work on the project here? I need the internet for the release of the season finale that’s dropping…” another glance at the time, “in 5 minutes! Whatever you do, don’t unplug that router or I’ll come hunt you down.” Levi made a gesture that he was watching the sorcerer and then bolted from the room.

Mammon

He wasn’t doing anything important, just scrolling through Devilgram when the video wouldn’t load. Weird, he thought, refreshed and now his whole timeline wouldn’t load. His D.D.D. was still connected to the internet so he figured Levi was playing around with too many devices.

He pushed himself up out of bed to give the third born a piece of his mind.

On his way to Levi’s room, he found Solomon posted up in the common room. He had his laptop and tablet on the table with paperwork scattered around. It looked like he was taking a break by looking at his D.D.D. just as Mammon had been.

“So it was you, sucking up all the internet,” Mammon accosted.

Solomon jumped, he looked embarrassed to have been caught on his phone, “Hello Mammon. Simeon broke the Purgatory Hall's router, MC said I could borrow your guys' router for a bit. Hope you don't mind.”

Mammon wanted to tell Solomon to get lost but if MC had given the ok... Mammon felt conflicted and when Solomon smiled, he knew he was right where the wizard wanted him.

“Whatever! I’m heading out anyway,” Mammon grumbled and decided to head to a casino, he deserved to blow off some steam.

Lucifer

Lucifer sighed, how did I end up like this? He looked up from his office chair at Solomon typing away on his laptop.

Originally MC asked if Solomon could come over to finish his essay. He hadn’t minded as long as MC was with him, not totally trusting the sorcerer to keep his nose out of the secrets of the House of Lamentation.

Solomon had come over earlier than MC had mentioned, “Simeon broke the Purgatory Hall's router. I hope you don't mind that I’m early but I have other assignments that I need to get done.”

MC wasn’t back yet so Lucifer led him inside and to his office, offering it was a good quiet spot to focus until MC returned. The unsaid added benefit that he could keep Solomon under his watchful eye.

The next time Lucifer looked up, he caught Solomon’s gaze. He narrowed his eyes, “Were you watching me?”

“Maybe,” Solomon shrugged, “Were you watching me?”

Lucifer sighed again as he thought, when was MC going to be back?

[writingtoforgetreality]

I Remember (Malcolm Bright x Reader)

Request: uM hi saw ur request post while i was scrolling through malcolm bright x reader tag lol so may i request an x reader w malcolm where reader's gil's niece or smth so she and mal know each other before he joined the team- and one day where mal was being a dumbass and reader was told to drive mal home and when she was securing his restraints he jokingly asked her to sing to him aNd she did sing and fell asleep on the bed by opposite mal aND he got a good amount of sleep like no night terrors and next day he accidentally slipped that reader ''slept'' w him and gils just like excuse me wtf?? Djkdkdlsjsjs idk i got this idea when i was staring at the ceiling at 4 am instead of doing my essays that were due in the morningxD sorry its p long. Thanks and have a good day/night (by @iwillboilyourteeth), [Prodigal Son-Masterlist]

Summary: Malcolm got hurt again. What a surprise. And, as always, you were right there to take care of him. Tonight, though, things took a turn. For the better or for the worse? Only the future would tell.

Words: 2,142

Warnings: language, love me some sarcasm, fluff, so much fluff, I love writing for Prodigal Son (keep the requests coming)

Song used: “I Remember” by Jason Manns

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

You were sitting in your apartment when your phone started ringing loudly, interrupting your movie marathon. Sighing exaggeratedly, you checked who decided to annoy you at this time. It was not too late but you liked your alone time a lot. Gil. Oh no. That could never be good.

“Uncle Gil. I hope whatever you’re about to tell me is more important than Harry Potter.” pausing the movie you were currently watching, you did not even give him enough time to greet you. A loud sigh could be heard over the phone. One, that made you laugh.

“(Y/N).” his voice was stern & you knew better than to mess with him. Yet, you could not help yourself.

“Yeah, that’s me. You called me, after all.” joking to ease the tension, your giggling was cut short by his next words.

“Malcolm is a dumbass.”

“What a revelation.”

“He’s hurt.” Gil stated. Throwing your head back in frustration, you knew he only called you if he knew it was not too bad. But bad enough to need your help. “I need you to come get him.” it was not even a question, more like an order. Immediately, you grabbed the stuff you needed & headed out of your apartment towards your car.

“Can I yell at him for being reckless?” opening the door, you got inside but before you started the engine, you waited for the call to end. Could not risk getting youself hurt. Malcolm was the stupid one, not you.

“I already did that but I’m sure he’ll appreciate to hear it again.”

“Good.”

“Drive safe.” Gil noted.

“See you in ten.” & with that you drove to the precinct where he would most likely wait for you.

Growing up, you spent a lot of time at Gil’s. Malcolm was there almost always, so you got to meet each other pretty early on. Deep down, you cared for him. More than you should care for a friend. And because of him being a profiler, you were sure he picked up on that as well. Malcolm was just nice enough to not comment on it. Besides, he would tell you that he was too broken anyway. The thing was that it never scared you away. It did the exact opposite, actually. It only made you want him more.

Did you ignore almost every speed limit? Possibly. Your knuckles were white because you had gripped the steering wheel so tightly. One of these days, you would kill Malcolm. He kept getting himself hurt & you were tired of being the one to drive him home afterwards. Of course, you knew Gil only called you because Malcolm trusted you enough but that did not change the fact that you were exhausted.

“What happened?” approaching Gil, your eyes looked around for a sign of Malcolm. “And where the hell is he?”

“Bathroom.” his finger pointed over. “He didn’t call backup & thought dealing with it alone would turn out fine.” Gil was, you could tell, almost as tired as you. Not only of Malcolm acting recklessly but also because of a long day at work.

“What a surprise.” your sarcasm got the best of you. But it helped you coping with your feelings sometimes. “Uncle Gil?” his head snapped up when you said his name.

“Yes?”

“Go home & get some sleep. I got it from here, promise.” your sweet smile was convincing enough & with a nod, he turned around & walked away.

“(Y/N)?” Malcolm noticed you when he walked out of the bathroom. His face was covered in bruised & by the way he was limping, you were sure that his entire body had to be sore. “Where’s Gil?”

“I sent him home.” shrugging as if it were nothing, you gave Malcolm a look. He knew what it meant but apparently, he wanted to play dumb.

“What?” his head tilted slightly & if it were not for his damn puppy eyes & for the fact that he was hurt, you would be the cause of his bruises. Not quite literally but still. Rolling your eyes at him, you crossed your arms over your chest.

“You’re stupid, I hope you know that.”

“I do, but we caught the killer, so it was worth it.” he casually stated.

“Is it really worth risking your life, Mal?” shaking your head shortly, you were not in the mood to discuss this any further. A simple gesture of your hand was enough to show him that you wanted to get going. “Come on, I’m gonna bring you home.”

“You’re mad.” Malcolm noted when the both of you walked outside back to your car. Sighing loudly, you stopped for a brief moment.

“Yes. I’m mad because I can’t even count how many times we’ve been in this exact situation anymore. And it sucks. Because every single time Gil calls me, I think he’ll tell me that you didn’t make it out like you always do.” Malcolm’s eyes widened when you explained how you were feeling. Your body brushing past his made him turn around & follow you without another word. It was silent between you two until you arrived inside Malcolm’s apartment.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” he spoke up, his voice much softer now. When you saw him struggling to pull off his coat, you walked over to him to help him out.

“You don’t owe me an apology, Mal.” your back faced him when you went to put his jacket away.

“I do. You always take care of me when shit like that happens. And I wanted you to know that I don’t take that for granted. If I were you, I would’ve stopped caring a long time ago.”

“You know as much as I do that this won’t ever happen.” & it was true. Malcolm could mess up over & over again. Could get himself hurt & all that. But you would always be here to catch him, no matter what.

“I don’t deserve you.” his eyes bore into yours & by the look he gave you, you knew he was not talking about you taking care of him when he was hurt. He was referring to you as a person. Basically, he wanted to make you understand that he was not worthy of your love. Which was bullshit to you.

“You deserve so much & it hurts that you don’t see it.” the conversation dropped for the time being. Navigating your way through his apartment, you looked for something he could wear to bed. Soon enough, you found something suitable & when you walked back into the room ,you found Malcolm already sitting on his bed, head hanging low. He stopped you when he noticed your hands grabbing the shirt he was wearing. Sending him a confused look, your eyebrows raised in question.

“I think I can handle it from here on.” taking the clothes from you, he went to strip himself out of his workwear. Surprisingly, he could not move his body enough to achieve anything.

“Yeah, I can see that. Come on, don’t act like that, Malcolm.” it was not the first time you had helped him undressing. As mentioned earlier, the two of you had been in this situation too many times to count.

It did not take long & he was wearing comfortable clothes. After asking if he needed anything else, you went straight to his restraints & helped strapping him in. It amazed Malcolm how you were not weirded out by the fact that he had to be held down in order to have at least a few hours of sleep.

“(Y/N)?” his voice was barely above a whisper but your humming let him know that you heard him. “Can you sing something for me?” it was meant to be a joke, he simply wanted to ease the tension between you guys. Thinking about it for a second, you came to the conclusion that it would not hurt to do that. Maybe it would help him fall asleep? Malcolm eyes widened when you actually started singing quietly. It was soothing & he closed his eyes to focus solely on your voice.

Hey you, when I saw you walk in there

And I couldn’t help but stare

At the way you move your hands

‘Cause it’s the little things you do that drive me crazy

And now, let’s forget about the crowd

And just concentrate on us

So that you can know what I want you to know

 I remember how it started

You had everything I wanted

I was helpless to resist

But I didn’t want to

 Only if you would hold me tight

As we talked all through the night

About those things you won’t tell no one else

I know that we’ve got long ways to go

But I want you to know

That I’ll be there till the end, so don’t you worry

 I remember how it started

You had everything I wanted

I was helpless to resist

But I didn’t want to

‘Cause I fell in love with you-ou-ou

 After you finished, Malcolm still had his eyes closed, he just laid there for a while, recalling the words of the song. He knew what you were trying to tell him but if he had to be honest, he was scared. If the two of you were to try something, he thought you would leave him the moment you realized his demons were too much for someone to handle. Malcolm did not hear you leave his apartment, neither did he feel a movement. Opening his eyes slowly, he found you sound asleep right next to him. Your peaceful form made him smile brightly. Contemplating if he should wake you up, he decided against it in the end. Deep down, he knew you would not judge him he if he had a night terror next to you. And if he were honest, having you with him made him incredibly calm. That night, he fell asleep almost immediately, without any nightmares invading his dreams. The reason for it was you. Only you.

Malcolm woke up early the next morning. Work called. Okay, maybe Gild had told him to take a few days off but everyone who knew Malcolm, knew that he did not listen to such orders. Or any orders, in general. You were still asleep when he loosened his restraints. He left you a note behind before leaving his apartment for work.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay at home?” Gil questioned the second Malcolm entered the office where the rest of the team was already up & working.

“You did but I’m fine.” Gil rolled his eyes at his words. Usually, whenever Malcolm insisted on being fine, he was everything but. Examining his face closer, Gil was shocked to see him so…well rested?

“Wait. How much did you sleep last night? You look unusually awake.”

“Oh, yeah. That’s because I slept with (Y/N) last night.” Malcolm spoke casually & went to examine the pictures that were displayed on the table in the middle of the room. Gil’s eyebrows raised at that. Dani only sent him a weird look & JT almost choked on his coffee at Malcolm’s confession. There were some things he did not want to know & his love life was one of it.

“Excuse me, what now?” Gil was the first one to press the topic further. Everyone knew how protective he could get when it came to you, his niece. When Malcolm turned around, he found three pairs of eyes looking sternly at him. Wait, what did he say? Realization washed over his face & he only now noticed how wrong his words sounded without any given context.

“No, wait…That came out wrong.” closing his eyes briefly, he prepared an explanation for his confused co-workers. “(Y/N) drove me home yesterday & she helped me with my restraints & all. She fell asleep & I didn’t wanna wake her up.” Malcolm’s hands gestured wildly, not wanting to give them the wrong impression of last night’s events. JT pretended to understand what he explained even though he had no idea & frankly, he did not care too much. Malcolm had lost Dani’s interest a while ago, she continued working on the next case. Only Gil was left. He gave Malcolm a knowing look, went over to him & patted him on the shoulder.

“You better take care of her, Bright. Or you have to deal with me.” his threatening smile creeped Malcolm out but he knew Gil was only trying to keep you safe. Maybe you were the right one for him. Last night was proof enough. It was scary to take that next step but on the other hand, he wanted to take that risk. He wanted to give it a try. For the both of you.

Published (04/20/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @octopus5555 (thanks for your support <3)

[strawberry-jammers]

choir and kisses

a niki x reader school au, where there in choir together and have a project to work on. maybe they kiss? maybe

this baisically inspired my school au tbh

masterlist

Niki sat in her choir class, exhausted from her previous class. The kids were just too much to be around and didn't have the mental strength to deal with them sometimes. She opened her choir folder, putting it on her stand.

“Yo niki, you good?'' Wilbur says, sitting down next to her. “I'm fine, but Wilbur, you're not in this class. I thought you were in orchestra.” she answers, looking at the tall man. “I am, I just don't have a class right now so I decided to visit you.” niki nodded. “Oh right, seniors have free hours sometimes.” he nodded at niki’s statement, opening his phone. “Texting sally?” niki asks, making Wilbur blush. “No no I'm not.” niki laughs, turning to the front of the room when the bell rings.

“Alright everyone, we will be doing a group project today! Your gonna do a presentation of a musical and then sing a duet together! Your partners are posted on google classroom.” niki opened her phone, seeing who she was partnered with. Wilbur just sighed, staring at niki. “Mind if i hang with you and your partner?” wilbur asks. Niki nodded. “Yeah its fine. Seems like I'm partnered with your sibling!” wilbur just started laughing. “What are you laughing at?” he calmed down slightly. “It's just that you have the biggest crush on them, it's gonna be so funny.” niki blushed. “I don't have a crush on them! We’re friends, I don't like them like that wilbur.” he just laughed at this. “Niki, your blushing!” niki huffed. 

“Wilbur leave Nikki alone, besides we need to do work!” niki turned to see (y/n) yelling at their brother. “I'm still pissed at you for leaving me to deal with techno and tommy.” Wilbur laughs nervously. “I'll do your chores if you don't tell dad.” “deal!” (y/n) sits in the empty seat next to nikki.

“So, what musical do you want to do for the project? Note that we do have to do a duet.” (y/n) says, setting their folder down. “Maybe we could maybe do into the woods? It takes two isn't that hard of a song to do.” niki suggests. “Yeah, we can do that!” niki and (y/n) started to work on their presentation, getting what they needed before they had to leave for class. Wilbur occasionally budded in, bored out of his mind. 

“Maybe you should have chosen a different class wilbs. Maybe bother tommy.” (y/n) says, listening to the song they were gonna do. “I dont wanna hang out with Tommy, he's always bothering me about my music.” he crosses his arms and sinks into his chair. “Oh calm down, he's just excited.” niki says, gathering information on her phone. “Niki, you don't have any siblings, shoosh.” niki just laughs. 

Things went on like this, right until the class was nearly over. “Oh, niki, you should come over tonight to finish the project. We could practice the song as well!” (y/n) says, moving their chair for the orchestra class that was next. “Yeah, that would be great! I could come over after school?” niki asks. “Yeah, we can walk home together! Gotta make sure to leave Wilbur behind though, he would constantly complain if he were to come along.`` We laugh together. The bell soon rings. “Alright, see you after class ends!” (y/n) says, picking up their stuff. “See you then!” niki puts away her stuff and leaves soon after.

Class went on, (y/n) very excited that niki would be coming over, yet also very nervous. They knew Wilbur would just say something. (y/n) turned to techno, who was in their english class. “Techno, did you read the book we were supposed to read?” technoblade turned to them. “(y/n), this is the second time you're taking this class and you didn't read the book? Again?” (y/n) just glares at him. “I don't like the book, okay! Anyway, did you read it?” techno just sighs, nodding. (y/n) smiled. “Oh thank god! Okay, help me with the essay then.” techno agrees, knowing if they didn't pass, he would get in trouble for not helping.

After a half hour, the bell rings, signalling that school has ended. (y/n) picks up their things, heading to their locker. They see niki waiting for them there. “Did you get out of class early?” (y/n) asked, unlocking the locker. “Yeah, I asked the teacher and she said it was fine!” (y/n) shoves their things into their bag. “Well that's nice of her! Anyways, we better get moving or one of my brothers would force us to ride home with them.” niki nodded, closing (y/n)’s locker for them. They walked down the stairs, heading out of one of the school's many doors.

They walked home, talking about random things as they went along. “You ever think about getting run over when your crossing the road?” niki stared at (y/n), concerned at their comment. “No? Are you okay?” (y/n) nodded. “Yeah im fine.”

After ten minutes, they reach the minecrafts home, noticing that they weren't home yet. “Oh thank god, i forgot they had to pick up tubbo as well.” (y/n) says, opening the door. They both walked inside the dark home. “Im gonna get us some food, just head up to my room!” (y/n) says, taking off their shows and heading to the kitchen. “Alright!” niki says, taking of her own shoes and heading upstairs. Niki spotted a door that had the progressive flag on it. “Oh thats new!” niki says, entering (y/n)’s room. “Wow, their rooms changed since I was last here.

(y/n)’s room was painted (f/c), and had drawings and posters all over the room. They had a desk, with their pc and art stuff atop it. Their bed was unmade, having stuffed animals all over the place. Niki spotted a whale plushie seated on their pillow. “Aww they kept it!” niki had given it to them years ago, so she found it sweet that it was still there.

(y/n) soon came up, holding a bunch of snakes and some cokes. “Sorry this is all we had, tommy wont let us buy anything else.” (y/n) says, handing niki the coke. “Oh, that's alright!” they sit down on (y/n)’s bed. (y/n) sat their snakes on their desk, so as not to spill them all over. 

“Okay, we need to actually put the presentation together. You have the notes right?” niki nodded, grabbing her phone while (y/n) sat at their pc, not too far from the pink haired girl. “Okay, so we have-” they did this for a while, niki reading the notes while (y/n) wrote them into the google slide. It soon got to the part where they had to sing their song. 

“Okay, so I'll be the baker, and you can be the other one.” (y/n) says, opening the song for them to sing. “Okay, i can do that!'' They started the song, getting ready to sing.

“(Y/N) ARE YOU WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND???” (y/n) stops the song. “I swear to god I will kill tommy. NO JACKASS, WE’RE NOT DATING!!” niki tries to stifle a laugh. “ARE YOU SURE????'' Tommy responds, still downstairs. (y/n) glares at the laughing niki. “Sorry sorry.” niki says, still laughing. “IM POSITIVE, NOW SHUT UP WE’RE TRYING TO DO SOMETHING!!'' Tommy responds immediately. “ARE YOU TWO HAVING SEX??” niki chokes on her own spit, while (y/n) blushes profusely. “OH THAT'S IT, COME HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH!!” (y/n) says, jumping out of their chair, running downstairs to attack the child. Niki leaves as well, wanting to see (y/n) beat up a child.

She comes down the stairs to see (y/n) putting Tommy in a choke hold while techno cheered them on. Niki stands next to techno.

"Apologize! I'll take your Cds if you don't!!!" "No no not my disks!!"

Niki turns towards techno. "Does this regularly happen?" Techno nodded as a response. Niki turned back, seeing Tommy try to bite (y/n). "OH STOP IT RACOON CHILD!!" philza soon comes In and breaks them apart. "Awwe my free entertainment.'' Techno says. "Oh calm down. Tommy, please stop annoying your sibling. This is why you get choked.” Tommy pouts. “Okay phil.” philza glares at the young child. “Also, (y/n), next time, just punch him in the throat. You've learned from techno.” “HEY!'' Tommy says, offended. (y/n) laughs, “okay, will do dadza. Oh, what time is it?” techno looked at his phone. “Its close to 9 pm.” (y/n) pouts, going over to niki and clinging onto her. “Noooo, it can't be her time to leave.” niki giggles, patting (y/n)’s head. “I have to leave. I'll come over soon, okay?” (y/n) nodds, letting go. 

They go upstairs together, grabbing nikkis stuff. They go back downstairs to the front door. (y/n) and niki hug each other. “Are you coming back tomorrow?” (y/n) asked, letting go. “Yeah, we did never got to actually practice the song! I'll be over at 4 pm, like always.” (y/n) nodds. “Okay, well, see you tomorrow?” niki nodded, leaning over and kissing (y/n) on the cheek, making them blush. “Yep! See ya, bye!” she says, opening the door and closing it, leaving (y/n) a mess.

“Yep…” they say to themself, smiling happily. “YES!!!! I TOLD YOU THEIR GIRLFRIENDS!! PUSSY DIDN'T EVEN KISS HER THEMSELF HAHA!!” (y/n) turned around, running towards tommy. “COME BACK HERE AND SAY IT TO MY FACE YOU LITTLE BITCH!”

[wordsinwinters]

Then Again, Part 26 (Peter Parker x Reader)

Masterlist (with AO3 links)

Total word count: 50,293

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25,

Summary: After an intense argument and a forced-to-share-the-bed situation during their junior year decathlon trip, Peter and the Reader examine their faults and failings. As they attempt to fix their mistakes and improve their friendship, that friendship quickly begins to evolve into something else.

Slow burn fic in which all characters are included and their dynamics explored; multiple character POVs.

Betas: @girl-tips-from-satan and @fanboyswhereare-you

A/N: This isn’t my favorite chapter, but it’s been sitting in my drafts for over a year and I figured if I don’t post it now, I’ll never move on to the next. Additionally, as always, I live for feedback. 😉

Without further ado,

Then Again Part 26:

(Words: 2,825)

The bus ride will probably get boring soon, or at least as long as the girls stay asleep, but even as quiet as it is, it’s almost a perfect morning. Being early (around 6:00, I think?), there’s barely any light except street lamps and car lights, but some of the clouds on the right have caught a pretty bluish purple tinge. It reminds me of that Rainbow Fish book Aunt May used to read to me as a kid. To make it better, the morning air is chilly enough that the driver turned the heaters on low so it’s wrapped-in-a-blanket-while-it-snows warm in here. Although that also might be why, apart from general dirt and old gum, the strongest smell on the bus is salty grease— since the nearest heater is under the seat Flash spilled french fries and chicken nuggets in yesterday. It could be worse, though. I mean, it’s not necessarily a bad smell and the traffic isn’t horrible. It’s not the best, but it could definitely be louder and a lot slower. The field of flowing red tail lights ahead of us is oddly comforting, like a snail-slow pasture of mechanical color. 

All in all, it’s a pretty cozy start for a dreaded five hour bus ride. It’s giving me quiet time to think. So that’s where I’m at. Or should be. I got some stuff organized in my head last night even if I keep getting distracted now. Well, it was more like a couple hours ago, since I wasn’t able to get to sleep for so long after we said goodnight. But anyway, I’m trying to focus. It’s just hard, even with both of them sleeping.

From my and Ned’s spot behind them, watching the girls’ heads gently shake and bump against each other as the bus shudders through potholes is kind of calming. They seem so peaceful from this angle, like two people who’ve never pranked me and Ned to the point we were nearly suspended, or kept us awake and annoyed by asking paradoxical hypothetical questions because they know how Ned and I will argue for days if we don’t agree on an answer, or anything else like that. It’s like finding two mischievous cats sleeping, curled up on a chair. It’s easier to appreciate them when they aren’t causing chaos. But it’s not that hard to appreciate them when they are anyway.

Though Ned and I won’t admit it when they’re fully awake, seeing their heads smack into the seat in front of them each time the bus lurched to a halt at stoplights (during the first ten minutes after they’d fallen asleep) was funnier than it should’ve been. Even knowing then that we wouldn’t mention it later didn’t stop us from exchanging silent laughs when they leaned back up, muttering unintelligible complaints before settling their heads back onto one another. For the last couple stoplights before the highway, at least, we decided to be better friends. We both stood up with one leg on the floor and one knee on our own seat so we could easily hold their foreheads back each time it happened. Again, I wouldn’t admit this out loud, even to Ned, but it’s a little bit funny that Ned was a split second slower than me, so while I kept catching MJ’s head before the stop, he half-smacked Y/N’s forehead, like a really-close-to-the-floor basketball dribble, and made a wincing face each time. A lot of times. But it did stop her from colliding with the seat, and she didn’t wake up or complain. 

As nice as it is with them and almost everyone else sleeping through the dark, quiet first hour of the bus trek back to New York, I am excited for her and MJ to wake up. Whenever that is. I’ve missed them. 

But anyway, I really need to focus. God. I’m not doing a great job of that this morning. Apparently. So I’m focusing now. It’s like Ned said. I need to be honest with myself. 

Okay. 

Alright. 

No distractions. 

I’m going to set myself straight now, before we get back, so I can make a game plan and be more decisive and make less mistakes. Fewer? Yeah, fewer mistakes. She’s told me that half a dozen times this since she read that grammar book last summer. But that’s not important.

If I’m being honest... I think I’ve avoided the real possibility that things could work out between us because it felt too risky. And I make some dumb, impulsive choices. So that’s saying a lot. If she said no, what’s the worst that could happen? May and Ned have been asking me that for months, and it’s been so frustrating. The answer should be obvious. The worst thing wouldn’t be the rejection, it’d be if it made her uncomfortable and she broke off our friendship. Or, even if she stuck around, if our friendship changed and I had to watch her get more and more distant, knowing it was my fault and nothing would ever go back to normal. 

Those were the worst — and, I thought, most probable — possibilities. For months I’ve been certain that if anything changed, everything would, and it’d all go to shit. So I kept dodging it. And dodging her before the trip. But, then, things did change this weekend. Things are changing. We fought, and it was super shitty and awful and a total nightmare fiasco, but we made up. And she seemed almost as relieved as me when we did. Now we even have this pact about spending more time together. I know it’s officially only in the name of friendship, but something’s… different. I feel it, and I think she does too. And it doesn’t seem bad. That’s the craziest part. I mean, she even kissed me last night. On the cheek, but still. “Keep it.” Maybe May’s not ridiculous: she really might feel the same way. 

I’ve been texting her this morning, actually. Aunt May. I had to admit that I’m happy she forced me to do the forehead kiss thing last night. As annoyed as I was that she and Ned ganged up on me like that, I can’t dispute the results. She kissed me! Kind of. (To be fair, she did hit my mouth a little bit even if it was an accident.) At first it made me wonder if she heard any of Ned’s shout-comments before I could turn the t.v. up to cover what he was saying. But I doubt it. Even if she felt the same way, I know her too well to think she wouldn’t freak out more and enough that it’d be noticable. Yeah, no, I’d definitely have been able to tell if she’d heard him saying things like, “Nobody’s saying you have to tell her that you googled the probability of high school sweethearts getting married that time she saved your ass on that Bronte essay, but yeah, Aunt May’s right! Just ask her to come over and either talk to her or do the hair/forehead thing!” Anyway, May’s on board with her coming over a lot this week and next week and giving us some space. So are Ned and MJ. Ned said they agreed on giving us two weeks (starting tomorrow) without them hanging out after school. And who knows, if the dance goes really well, maybe it’ll be normal for us to hang out, just us, without the whole group. Because… well, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself. 

I’ll admit, they’re the best friends I could ever have. All three of them. 

And it’s nice to have them all here now, Ned to my left and the girls in front of us. It’s even nicer to be outside of class or the city or crazy study sessions and have had a short breather from all that (despite the shitshow before we smoothed things over and could enjoy it). To be somewhere chill together. Yesterday and today probably feel even better because the last few days, or even weeks… no— months, if I’m being honest— have had me in a kind of less than happy place. But that’s over now. We’re all here and things are finally good. I just wish the girls would wake up, especially since Ned’s back on his phone. Again. 

Yesterday, everybody hung out for most of the afternoon, but being in the whole decathlon group isn’t the same as just being the four of us. Or two. 

Speaking of two— Ned being away during this next week or two is going to make everything so… unfiltered. New. Without his interference and being able to talk to him as often as normal, it’ll mostly just be her and me. Nobody to distract attention or blame stuff on or help me out when I’m doing something dumb (which is often). Like, for example, last night when I maybe let my excitement get the better of me and I might’ve jumped on the bed and thrown a pillow that accidentally broke the lamp on the nightstand. While I don’t really think writing that “Bill Mr. Harrington” note with the school’s address was Ned’s best idea, it helped me not care too much, enough that I didn’t do something dumber like actually tell Mr. Harrington. It might come back to bite us, though. Still, he was genuinely helpful this morning when Flash showed up too. 

While we were hanging out in the girls’ room waiting for them to finish packing, there was a knock on the door. I figured it was Mr. Harrington about to yell at me and Ned for the broken lamp, so I motioned to Ned to shut up and move closer to the head of the bed we were already sitting on where, courtesy of the wall between the bedroom and bathroom, he wouldn’t be able to see us as long as he stayed by the doorway. MJ gave us an odd glance before she got up to answer it. Her annoyed, “What are you doing here?” didn’t immediately disqualify Mr. Harrington, but the sound of Flash’s voice saying, “I, uh, brought you guys some muffins,” made me tense at the first syllable.

“The free muffins they give us for breakfast?”

MJ’s dripping sarcasm nearly made me laugh even though I couldn’t see her, but Y/N turning from her suitcase and walking over to join them killed it still in my throat. 

“Nope,” he said. “They’re fancy muffins from a bakery a few miles away.”

I wanted to roll my eyes out of my skull.

She may not like him, but that doesn’t mean I was wrong about him being into her. What a dumb way to impress someone. “Fancy muffins.”

“Expensive?” MJ asked. Even without seeing her face, I could tell she was giving him the squint death stare. It’s scary to have to respond to that face if you don’t know what the right answer is.

“Yes, especially with the delivery fee,” he said, sounding prepared for the question, “but they’re from a small local place, not a chain, which I figured you guys would appreciate. Actually, I think you’d like the woman who owns it, she was super grouchy and hard to convince.”

“Convince?”

“They don’t normally deliver at 5 in the morning.”

“Oh, so you thought you could just—”

“What kind did you get?” 

That’s one of the things I like about Y/N. She knows how to manage tempers and when to jump in; she has Flash and MJ down to a science. In that moment, though, I wanted MJ to fire her most confrontational questions at him with no mercy.

“Well, they’re all apology muffins—” I heard MJ scoff. Exactly. She gets it. “But I got blueberry, chocolate, obviously, coffee, cranberry orange, maple, I think that one has chicken in it or something, and banana nut.”

Ned and I turned towards each other with silent smirks at the last one. It’s a dumb joke, but under normal circumstances we’d never resist—

“Cool. Since you’ve brought so many, you can come in.”

Sometimes MJ drives me up the wall. This was one of those times. 

I mentally took back my agreement with her scoff.

The three of them came into the room, and for a couple seconds, Flash didn’t see us. The girls were closer to the window than they were to the wall and the bed Ned and I were sitting on, and he didn’t look behind him. Until MJ pointed us out directly.

“You can give them some too,” she said, her expression bordering on smug. “Apology muffins, right?”

Flash froze for a second. I straightened my back. Neither Ned or I said anything.

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded. “Of course.”

Surprisingly, he shook his shoulders like a bug just buzzed by his head and walked over, opening a giant rectangle of a box up to us. 

“Take however many you guys want.”

I stared at him, not moving. Nobody flinched. Then I realized he was tapping the side of the box with his thumb. Not in an asshole come on, hurry up way, but in an anxious way. Just as I started to reach toward the box, Y/N asked:

“Why’d you get so many of the coffee ones?”

Flash looked away at just the right second. 

Did I technically cave first by reaching into the box? Yes. But did anyone see? No.

Although, I guess he technically caved by offering us the muffins in the first place. Ha. All the same, I took a blueberry one. 

“They’re my dad’s favorite. I wanted to surprise him, you know? But I can’t even get a hold of.... Um, are your guys’ parents going to pick you up when we get there, or are you actually staying for school?”

“Staying.”

“All of you?” 

He looked around to ask all of us, even me and Ned. We all nodded. When he looked at me, though, his eyes twitched. It’s a face I’ve gotten a lot before. He realized he said parents. 

“You said these are orange cranberry?” Ned asked, pointing. 

Flash nodded. 

“They’re solid, though the banana nut ones are probably the best.”

As I said, under normal circumstances, like if one of the girls had said it, I would’ve laughed right then, but I’m not used to laughing around Flash. Ned, who usually follows that same rule, shook his head and grinned, if a little bit... nervously?

“Hell no!” he said, pretending to be mildly outraged. “I’m not eating banana-bust-a-nut muffins.”

A second surprise: Flash tilted his head and paused, clearly as stunned to be told a joke by Ned as the rest of us were to witness it— and laughed. So did everyone else. It was only for a few seconds, like literally three quick seconds, but for the first time for as long as I can remember, all of us were laughing with Flash. It stopped almost as soon as it started. 

Tension crept back in soon so he left pretty quickly after that with an awkward, “See you guys in a few.” Thank god. 

The girls finished tidying their room and going over the homework that’s due today (which we did last week since we knew we’d never get it done on the trip), before forcing me and Ned into the hallway so Mr. Harrington wouldn’t need to check our room for us and potentially find the broken lamp. 

And then, pretty soon, we ended up on the warm bus, loaded in with everyone else. It seemed like everybody but Ned and I were too quiet and sleepy and squinty to be able to talk much before dozing off or staring blankly out the window or scrolling social media on their phones, the latter two options leading to the first in most cases. At this point, I think Ned, Flash, and I are the only ones still awake. 

I’m going to work at tolerating him. As long as he doesn’t cross any lines with anybody from now on, I won’t bait him either. (Admittedly, I’ve been guilty of that, especially recently.) I mean, his comment about his dad was hard to miss. And even when he said it, it wasn’t a shock. Everyone in our grade at some point has had to listen to Flash’s rambling excuses for his parents ignoring or forgetting to show up for school events. Maybe being a dick is just hereditary for him. Or a family tradition. 

I don’t remember how I got so off track. Where was I before? Oh yeah. Risk. Possibilities. The almost-worst case scenario that turned out not so bad. It’s been a messy weekend with plenty of re-evaluating, but the point is simple: I think I’ve got to give a few new things a try, and I’m excited to have a chance over the next couple weeks.

Next update: God only knows.

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[shellyseashell]

LOOKS LIKE WE’RE SOULMATES

@korrasami-valentine-exchange this is my fic for the exchange! I’m Soulmates A. I hope I’m posting it correctly.

Summary: With Valentine’s Day drawing near, Korra and Asami just want to find their soulmate.

Read on ao3

KORRA SLUMPED BACK on her pillow, growling at her computer. She absolutely hated essays. Give her a model to make or a poster to design and she’d have it done in minutes, but essays took her centuries. At this point she would drop out if it meant she’d never have to write another essay.

“Essays again?” Opal, her roommate asked from her bunk below.

“What, like I’d be complaining about anything else right now?” Korra retorted, leaning over to glare at her friend.

“You’re either complaining about essays or not finding your soulmate yet.”

Korra rubbed her wrist, where her soul mark was. It was a dark crescent moon that would change color after she met her soulmate. It was as dark as ever. “I’m totally walking into this, but it’s just unfair! You found Bolin years ago, and Mako found Wu soon after! I’m the only one in our friend group who hasn’t found them.”

Opal sighed and set down her book. They had this conversation practically three times a day, and each time Opal suggested something new that Korra would refuse. Today was no different. Glaring at Korra, her friend stood from her bunk. “Maybe if you didn’t cover your wrists all the time, you’d find them.”

Korra shrank back. She always covered her wrists when she left her dorm, either with bracelets or long sleeves. Most people her age were blissfully happy with their soulmate by now, and she didn’t need the embarrassment of being alone. “What if they don’t even live nearby? What if I go my whole life without finding them? What if — what if they’re dead?” Korra choked out the last question. She didn’t want to think about her soulmate being gone. She didn’t even know them, and yet the idea of never meeting them — of never being able to meet them — was unthinkable.

Opal sighed. “You’re overthinking this. You’ll meet them eventually. It could take a long time, but you won’t live your whole life without them. It’s practically impossible.”

“I hope you’re right.”

-

ASAMI CURSED AS she dropped her wrench. Twisting around to grab it without getting out from under the car, she half-expected someone to offer her help or ask if she was okay — like her father normally would.

No one came.

Which was expected, since she was the only one currently working, but it still got lonely. Ever since her father had died a year ago, she had been forced to run the mechanics shop with few employees and questionable schedules.

And with no friends, it got incredibly lonely all the time. Before, at least she had had her father and the few other employees. But after he had died, they had all gone to different companies. Companies that could pay better. And so now, she was alone.

Often, she wondered what it would be like to have found her soulmate. To have someone who loved her no matter what. Someone who was destined to be with her, to love her. To have someone always there for her, who wouldn’t ever leave her. It was starting to be a foreign feeling.

Her gaze landed on her gloved wrist that held her soul mark — a dark crescent moon. She checked it daily after work on the off chance that one of her customers was them, and was always looking for someone with the same mark. So far, she’d had no such luck.

Asami went back to her job, thoughts of finding her soulmate in increasingly unrealistic ways filling her mind. When she finished, she pushed herself out from under the car and started putting her tools away, freezing when she caught sight of someone standing in the doorway.

That someone was a very pretty girl. Her dark hair was cut short around her shoulders, framing her face and making her friendly smile and blue eyes look even prettier. Her skin was a warm brown, and she wore sweatpants and a blue Republic City University hoodie. She looked mildly familiar, but she couldn’t place why, and it didn’t explain why her heart started beating faster or why she felt the urge to make sure she had no grease stains on her face.

“I was starting to think no one was here,” said the girl, looking around. “It’s really empty.”

“I’m the only one working today,” Asami responded. “You can always knock, and if no one repsonds just give us a call and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.”

The girl smiled as Asami approached her. She played with her gloves, nearly taking them off before realizing her soul mark would show, and she didn’t want this girl to see it — didn’t want the pity. So she settled for resting them by her sides.

“What can I do for you?” Asami asked.

The girl jerked her head in the direction of the parking lot. “My car has been making weird noises for the last few days.”

Asami nodded. “Which one is yours?”

The girl led her to her car, an old blue thing. “This is it.”

Asami walked around it, looking at it from different angles. “I’ll probably have to keep it overnight and look at it tomorrow. It’s almost closing time.” Asami looked up and met the girl’s eyes, and quickly looked away, hoping her blush wasn’t noticeable. “How should I contact you?”

“You can call me or send me a text,” the girl said. “I’m Korra, by the way.”

Of course she was Korra, Asami thought as she handed her her phone. Korra was the star player on the soccer team, and incredibly popular. They had a few classes together, but had never really spoken.

“I’m Asami,” she said, taking her phone back from Korra.

“I know,” said Korra, then quickly added, “I mean — it was on the information site. That you owned this place.”

Asami smiled. “I do.”

The silence dragged on, neither making a move to end it.

Korra cleared her throat. “So, you’ll call me when you’re done?”

“Yep.”

“Great, I can’t wait!”

-

KORRA RAN FORWARD and kicked the ball. And completely missed the goal.

She growled. She didn’t know what was going on, but she’d been off balance ever since she had taken her car to Future Industries Mechanics. She couldn’t shake Asami out of her mind. Her green eyes, the way her hair shone in the light and looked really fluffy. They say she kept playing with her gloves, the grease stain across her cheek. She wanted to know Asami Sato, and she wasn’t sure why.

“That’s the third time you’ve missed the goal today,” her coach, Kuvira, said. “What’s going on?”

Korra sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know. I’ll do better tomorrow, I promise.”

“You better. We have a game next week, and we need you in top shape,” Kuvira said with crossed arms. Then she lowered her voice and asked, “Did you find your soulmate?”

If it was anyone else, she probably would have punched them, but Kuvira was almost a friend to her — a friend who happened to be her soccer coach, but still. “No. At least, I don’t think so. I haven’t checked.”

“Ah, so you met someone who you hope is your soulmate, but you’re too scared to check in case you’re let down.”

“Yeah . . .”

Kuvira smirked. “Well, then I guess it’s a good thing practice is over.” She jerked her head toward the locker rooms. “Go figure it out. I’m sure it’ll all work out.”

“I’m sure it’ll all work out.” That was the phrase that Korra had been hearing more and more the older she got, the longer she went without a soulmate. Right, because it was easy to think things would work out when you had been happy with your soulmate for years. But to Korra, it was hard to think she’d ever find them. Everyone around her had found theirs, so why couldn’t she? Sure, there were people who found them when they were in their thirties or even older, so she hadn’t lost all hope, but it was still her soulmate. Of course she wanted to find them as soon as she could.

She sighed, and entered one of the shower stalls. She pulled up her sleeve, not expecting anything different, but froze when she saw that her soul mark was not the same as it had been before. Instead of the same pitch black it usually was, it was a mess of different colors. There were pinks and blues and reds and greens and oranges and yellows and colors she couldn’t even name.

A wide grin grew on her face as she realized what this meant. She had found them! She had found her soulmate, after all the years. And she knew just who it was.

Deciding to shower later, she stuffed her belongings back in her bag and ran. She passed by Kuvira in the hall, who simply smiled knowingly.

Korra headed to the parking lot before remembering her car was still with Asami — funny that her car was where she wanted to be, but not her. She hesitated for a second, trying to decide if she wanted to run there or wait for a bus.

“Fuck public transportation,” Korra said, sprinting down the street. She’d get there faster on her own anyway.

Everything blurred around her as she ran, only her destination in her mind. She was dimly aware of traffic and horns honking and annoyed glares around her. Not that she cared. She was going to get to Asami if she had to trample everyone in her path.

By the time she entered the mechanics shop, her bag was hanging off her elbow, and she was sweatier than before, causing her hair and clothes to stick to her. Still, that didn't stop her excitement from creeping into her voice as she yelled, “Asami!” in time with her bag sliding off her arm and hitting the floor.

There was a muffled crash and a curse, and then Asami appeared from behind a car, rubbing her head. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, a few strands falling into her face. She wore the same mechanics uniform from before, riddled with grease stains.

Asami furrowed her brows. “Korra? Your car isn’t ready yet. I said I’d call you when it was.”

Korra crossed the room, practically flying with excitement. “No, I know. It’s just, well, this.”

She held her wrist up in Asami’s face. Asami looked confused at first, unsure why she was showing her her soul mark, before her eyes widened in realization. Asami scrambled to pull off her work gloves. “Spirits,” she breathed, staring down at her identical wrist. She looked up and met Korra’s eye. “I don’t — how?”

“How are we soulmates?” Korra said. “Easy. We just are.”

Asami shook her head, though she was smiling. “No, I mean, how have we not figured it out sooner? We have classes together.”

Korra grinned and leaned her elbow on the car in front of her, staring Asami right in the eye. “But have we ever talked before?”

Asami shook her head.

“Exactly.”

Asami studied her arm for a few seconds before looking up at Korra. “So, if we’re soulmates . . .”

“We should probably talk about it,” Korra finished. “Tomorrow night. Valentine’s Day. We go on a date. We talk about the whole soulmate thing. We live happily for the rest of our days.”

Asami snorted. “Sounds perfect.”

“Good, because I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.”

-

“YOU WON’T BELIEVE what happened!” Korra yelled, slamming the door to her dorm behind her.

Bolin, who was holding a bowl of popcorn, jumped and dropped the bowl. “Would it hurt to give a little warning next time?” he grumbled and he knelt to clean up the mess.

Mako snorted from the couch. “Maybe you should know she’ll do that stuff by now.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Guys please,” Korra said. “What happened today.”

Wu snapped his fingers and pointed at her. “You learned that we’re all living in a simulation and nothing is real.”

“. . . no?”

“You learned that fairies are real and we’re all giants,” Bolin offered, earning a glare from Opal, who was in her bunk.

“Let her speak,” she said.

Korra rocked back on her heels, before blurting out, “I found my soulmate!”

Wu gasped. “That was going to be my next guess!”

Mako snorted, tightening his arm around his shoulders. “Sure it was.”

“That’s great, Korra,” Opal said. “Who is it?”

“Asami Sato.”

Bolin sat down next to Opal, having given up on popcorn. “Isn’t she in some of your classes?”

Korra nodded slowly. “A few, I think. But I’ve never actually talked to her until now.”

“How’d you meet her?” Mako asked.

“Car problems. Obviously.”

“Right. Obviously.”

“You know,” Opal said. “Her dorm is in the same building. She lives on her own, I think.”

Korra grinned, and her eyes seemed to brighten. Her soulmate living in the same building as her? It was the next best thing compared to actually living with her. Still, it would make seeing her easier. She wouldn’t have to worry about her car breaking down — though that would give her an excuse to see Asami whenever she wanted. “Does she?” Honestly, it was surprising that she hadn’t figured it out sooner. There had been so many opportunities for them to talk, but they only did when Korra’s old car broke down?

“Yeah. You should go talk to her.”

Korra shook her head. “I just got back from talking to her. We’re going out tomorrow.”

“Valentine’s Day?”

Korra grinned. “What better day to get to know your soulmate than the day of love?”

-

ASAMI PACED AROUND her small shop. She was supposed to be closing up, but all she could think about was what had happened earlier.

She had found her soulmate.

More specifically, she had found out Korra, the star of the soccer team, one of the most well-known girls, daughter of the mayor, quite possibly the most beautiful girl she’d ever met, was her soulmate.

Of all things, she was surprised they’d never met before, but with how different their lives were, she honestly wasn’t surprised.

Asami locked the door behind her as she left, and headed to her car. She paused when she passed Korra’s car.

Trailing a hand over the hood, she was overcome with fantasies of the future. Of dates with Korra in the front seat. Of snuggling up on cold days. Of laughing and joking as they rode to classes. Of seeing Korra when her car was finished.

This car, Korra’s car, was a mark of the future, and it was one she would forever be grateful for.

-

VALENTINE’S DAY CAME, and Korra was freaking out.

“Korra, you look fine,” Opal said for the fifth time.

Korra tugged at her collar again. She had decided to wear a blue suit, with a black shirt underneath. She had left her jacket unbuttoned, open to hang at her sides, but now she was questioning if it was the right choice. “But what if I picked the wrong color suit and our outfits clash?”

Opal rolled her eyes. “Since when have you cared about your appearance that much?”

“But she’s my soulmate!” Korra protested. “I want everything to be perfect.”

Opal stood from her bed and crossed the room. Placing her hands on Korra’s shoulders, she stared into her very soul. “Korra. You are taking her out for dinner and then stargazing. Your date plan is fine. She is your soulmate. She’ll like it regardless. Look, I know your first date with your soulmate is nerve wracking. I’ve been through it. But you’re going to be fine. You’ll be laughing halfway through and wonder why you were ever so nervous. You’ll be fine.”

Korra took a deep breath and shook her nerves away. “You’re right. We’re going to dinner. We’re going to get to know each other and talk about this whole soulmate thing. It’s going to be fine.”

Opal grinned. “Good. Now get going. Bolin is going to be here any minute and I don’t want you here.”

Korra laughed and crossed to the door, winking at Opal — who rolled her eyes — before leaving.

There were plenty of couples in the hall, all heading out to do their couple-y thing. It was weird to think that after years of moping at home and wishing to all the stars she could remember the names of, that she would be joining them soon.

Weird, but absolutely exhilarating.

Korra stopped in front of Asami’s door. Taking a deep breath, she steeled her nerves and knocked.

The door opened immediately, like Asami had been waiting for her. Korra’s greeting stuck in her throat. Asami looked absolutely beautiful. Her red dress hugged her waist and danced around her like feathers in the wind. The sleeves flowed around her arms and cinched around her wrists. Her hair tumbled around her shoulders, her lips painted the same shade as her dress, her eyes lined with black. She was even more beautiful than Korra thought.

Korra was shaken out of her thoughts by Asami laughing. “You’re staring,” she said, causing Korra to blush. “But you look very pretty yourself.”

Korra grinned. “Really? I was worried the blue was overdoing it.”

Asami laughed again. “It goes well with red.”

“Does it? I had no idea.”

“It does. Are you going to tell me what you have planned for tonight, or is that a surprise?”

Korra bit her lip. “I can tell you we’re going out to dinner, but after that is a surprise.”

“Dinner sounds nice.”

Grinning, Korra looped her arm with Asami’s and led her down the hall. “You’re going to love it.”

-

ASAMI DID LOVE it. Korra had taken her to a diner with mostly outdoor seating. The seating area was filled with plants of all sorts, with flowers of all different colors. It almost looked like the garden was one huge soul mark. Lanterns lined the walkways, making her feel like their path was glowing.

Korra led her down one of the many pathways, grinning widely. That grin was one Asami could get used to seeing — she was quickly falling in love with it.

“Wow Korra, this is amazing,” she said, stumbling slightly as Korra jerked her around a corner.

“Sorry!” her soulmate-maybe-girlfriend squeaked. “Our table is up here.”

Asami looked around, noticing they hadn’t passed any more tables in a while. “Why are the tables so spaced out anyway?”

“This restaurant is for soulmates who have just met to get to know each other. The tables are so far apart for privacy. Each table is supposed to have a bowl of conversation starters with weird questions. Get to know the small stuff before what they do for a living, I guess.”

Asami laughed. “This is amazing,” she repeated.

Korra raised an eyebrow. “Really? It’s not that creative.”

“To be fair, we only met yesterday.”

Korra stopped. “This is us.”

The table was in a small alcove surrounded by flower pots. It was a typical outdoor seating table — metal, with chairs that would probably be uncomfortable after a while. The center of the table had a small bowl with different slips of paper sitting in it. Conversation starters.

Asami unlooped her arm from Korra’s and sat. Her soulmate did the same.

They spent a few seconds staring at each other and grinning. Spirits, Korra was pretty, with her short hair and minimal makeup that looked like it had been put on last minute, and the blue suit that matched her eyes.

She could have spent hours staring into those eyes that seemed to hold the depths of the world within them. They were the ocean and the sky and warm rain.

Asami looked away and cleared her throat. “So, should we use these conversations starters, or should we go through the basic ‘get to know me’ questions?”

Grinning, Korra placed her chin on her hand. “Tell me about Future Industries.”

Asami grinned. She could’ve talked about anything just to talk to Korra, but talking about one of the things she loved most was even better. “It was supposed to expand from one small mechanics shop to a whole company, but my father died before he could finish all the business stuff, and I’m not in the place to do it on my own. A lot of the employees quit after he died, looking for better work, so I don’t have enough money — or time, with school. I want to expand in the future though.”

Korra nodded. “Seems important.”

“It is,” Asami agreed. “Forgetting about the fact that I love the work, my father started the company and I feel like I’d be forgetting him if I didn’t make it worth it.”

Korra smiled softly. “You wouldn’t be forgetting him.”

Asami shrugged. “What about you? What do you want to do with your life?”

“Okay, so I know I should know by now, but I’m not completely sure. I mean, I focus a lot on soccer and martial arts and could easily do something with that. But I could also help my dad in politics, which would be fine.”

“As long as you’re doing what you want,” Asami said. “And something you went to school for.”

Korra laughed. “Anything other than Future Industries I should know about you?”

“What, like a secret identity I hide behind to fight crime?” Asami said with a laugh. “Nothing that huge. Basic stuff you’ll probably know with those conversation starters. I don’t really have any friends. I major in mechanics. I run Future Industries. I want to expand. That’s it really.”

Korra nodded. “Well, you should know my roommate and friends can be annoying. I was the last to find my soulmate, and they teased me for it a lot. And they’re just annoying in general.”

“I think I can deal with annoying roommates.”

“Good, because you’ll be dealing with them a lot,” Korra said, playing with the slips of paper. “So, those conversation starters.”

-

KORRA TOOK ASAMI to the roof of their dorm building. Korra wasn’t sure Asami would like it, but by the way Asami gasped and turned in a slow circle to look at the view, she was pretty sure she did.

“I know I said dinner was amazing,” Asami started, “but this is amazing.”

“Never came up to the roof before?” Korra asked, setting a blanket that she’d snagged from her dorm down on the ground. She sat and patted the ground next to her.

“You’re allowed to come up here?” Asami asked as she sat down and leaned her head on Korra’s shoulder.

“Er — no, not usually,” Korra said, rubbing her next. “But a family friend runs this place, so I get special permission. Figured I might as well use it.”

Grinning, Asami leaned back on her elbows and looked at the sky. “I wish I could see the stars.”

Korra leaned back too. “You can see them better in the country, at my family’s farm.”

“Your family has a farm?”

“My grandparents. We visit every summer.”

Asami hummed. “Do you know a lot about the stars?”

Grinning, Korra reached a hand up to the sky like she could pick a star out of the sky. “I sure do.”

Asami sighed. “Tell me everything you can.”

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

And so the two laid there, Asami’s head on Korra’s chest and Korra’s hand tangled in Asami’s hair as Korra told everything she knew of the stars. Asami listened, and though she didn’t understand much of what she was listening to, all she cared about was that it was Korra, her soulmate, talking, and that was all that mattered.

At long last, both girls had found their soulmate.

Dunno if I should put a taglist here but here we go: @salt-warrior @andrewminyard-apologist @cinderswrench @shadymcsilverbangs @cindersassasin let me know if you want to be added or removed!

[queenofspades20]

Scream - 2

Here is chapter 2 of Avengers AU of Scream for @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho spooky challenge. Planning on breaking up the rest of the story into 2 chapters.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Y/N Weathers; Avengers x Reader

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: suspense, inappropriate jokes, mentions of gore 

Natasha was sitting at her desk in her room, working on an essay for her English Literature class the next day. She was putting the finishing touches, when she heard a rustling from the tree outside her window. Natasha made her way over to the window and was looking out.

“Boo!” Clint, Natasha’s boyfriend, popped up.

Natasha jumped back and let out a small scream. “Jesus, Clint. What the hell?” She smacked his arm as he climbed through the window.

A knock sounded from her bedroom door. “Natasha? Is everything ok? I heard a scream”

Natasha raced to the door before her dad, Phil, could come in. She opened the door a little to put her face in the doorway. “Yeah. Sorry. I have Deep Blue Sea on and I’m at the part where the shark jumps out and eats Samuel L. Jackson. Gets me every time.”

Phil just laughed. “The actor that looks like the dean of your college?”

“Yeah. Not that we can ever say that to Fury. I don’t think he’s a fan of getting compared like that.”

“Fair enough. Well, I also wanted to say bye before tomorrow. My flight is pretty early. Don’t forget I’ll be staying at…”

“The Hilton by the airport. I got it, Dad.”

“There’s money for food by the phone downstairs.”

“Are you going to visit that violinist while you’re there?” Natasha asked her father. He had met the woman on a business trip last month. Natasha knew that before her mother died, her parents were going through a rough patch, so Natasha wanted to see her dad happy again.

Phil blushed.  “Maybe. She and I have just been chatting. I don’t know if it’ll go anywhere.”

“That’s fine, Dad. It doesn’t have to. I’m just happy to see you put yourself out there. I guess I’ll say goodnight and have a safe flight.” Natasha moved out of her room to hug Phil. He hugged her back.

“I’ll see you on Monday. Night, Nat.”

Natasha moved back into her room and closed the door. A stuffed bear popped up from the other side of the bed. “That was close,” Clint said in a silly voice.

“What are you doing here, Clint?”

Clint got up and sat on the edge of the bed. He chuckled. “I was watching Exorcist and it made me think of you, so I decided to come over.”

“A horror movie made you think of me?” Natasha crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“When we started out, we were rated R on our way to NC-17. But these days, we seem to have a PG rating.”

Natasha thought for a moment. “With what happened to my mom last year, I’m sorry I haven’t been up for more.”

Clint started shaking his head while Natasha was talking. “I know you’ve been dealing with that. I’m not bringing it up to pressure you into anything. I just, I kind of miss where we used to be.”

Natasha sighed. “I miss where we used to be too. I just need time.”

“I get it. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Now, you need to get out of here in case my dad hears you. I don’t need him kicking your butt.”

Clint climbed out of the window but leaned his face in. He puckered his lips. Natasha smiled and rolled her eyes. She moved close to him and they shared a soft kiss.

“Hey, Clint. Would you settle for a PG-13 relationship?”

“What’s a PG…” Clint started. Natasha lifted up her sleep shirt to flash him. Clint stared at her for a moment. Natasha lowered her shirt and laughed. “You’re dangerous, Nat.”

“Love you,” Natasha responded.

“I love you, too.”

After Clint left, Natasha finished her essay, shut off her laptop, and went to bed.

When Natasha approached the campus the next morning, there were dozens of police cars with their lights flashing all over the parking lot. There were reporters everywhere. “The brutal murder of Sharon Carter and Steve Rogers…” “The worst crime since the murder of Maria Coulson almost one year ago…” Natasha could hear random sentences from the reporters.

Wanda Maximoff ran up to Natasha. “Hey, did you see the post on Shieldbook last night?”

Natasha looked her best friend. “No. I had the essay for Lit to finish and just went to bed. I didn’t look at any social media last night.”

“Sharon Carter and Steve Rogers were murdered last night. Sharon’s body was hanging from a tree. The killer took a picture and posted it to Shieldbook.”

Natasha ran her hand along her face. “Oh my God. Sharon sits next to me in Lit.”

“Well, not any more. Anyways, not only was the picture posted on Shieldbook, her aunt Peggy is the one that found the bodies.”

“That poor woman.”

The girls made their way towards the front entrance to the school.

“Natasha! Natasha!” yelled a voice from about 20 feet away. Y/F/N Weathers ran up towards Natasha.

“Oh no.” Natasha hated the reporter. Y/F/N Weathers covered her mother’s murder a year ago. Weathers argued that the person charged, Bruce Banner, was innocent. She tried to argue that Natasha was a liar and was crazy. Natasha was certain that the person she saw leaving that night was Bruce. She was even able to identify the jacket, which had her mother’s blood all over it.

“Natasha, what are your thoughts on the murders that happened last night?” Y/N asked, hold a microphone towards Natasha.

“No comment.”

“Do you think they’re related to your mother’s murder?”

It took everything Natasha had in her to not punch Y/N. Wanda jumped in, “What the hell is your problem, bitch?”

Natasha grabbed her friend’s arm and led her away. “Not the time, Wan. She’s not worth it.”

“She deserve a major punch for the shit she’s put you through. You saw Bruce Banner leaving that night. And she keeps trying to drag you through the mud.”

“I know! I know! I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve it. I just don’t want more attention on me than what’s going to already be on me. Let’s just get to class.”

The girls made their way to their class. Natasha couldn’t stop staring at the seat next to her that was usually filled with Sharon. They weren’t the closest of friends, but they would often pass notes in class. As Natasha was lost in thought, an officer came into the room and passed a note to the professor.

“Natasha?” Natasha looked up at her professor. “It would appear it’s your turn.”

Natasha grabbed her bag and walked to the dean’s office.

“Who’s next?” Dean Fury asked.

“Um, Natasha Romanoff,” Deputy James Barnes said, looking at the list.

“Isn’t she the daughter of…” one of the deputies started to ask, when Natasha walked in.

“Have a seat, Ms. Romanoff-Coulson,” Dean Fury said, gesturing to the seat.

“Thanks. Hi Bucky.”

“Hi Nat. It’s Deputy Barnes today though.”

Natasha looked down at her hands. “Sorry.”

Dean Fury decided to take the lead on the questioning. “So Ms. Romanoff-Coulson, how well did you know Sharon or Steve?”

Natasha thought about it for a moment. “Sharon and I had a few classes together. I knew Steve through a few other classes. We didn’t really hang out outside of school; we just ran in different circles and were involved in different activities, so we just weren’t close.”

Bucky jotted down her answer. “Natasha, were you aware of anyone have a problem with either of them?”

“No. They were two of the nicest people. I can’t figure out why anyone would go after them.”

“Okay. Thanks. That’s all the questions I have for you,” Bucky said as he checked off something on his paper.

Natasha left the office. By that time, classes were over for the morning. She went to the courtyard by the student union, where Wanda, Clint, Wanda’s boyfriend, Thor, and Thor’s brother, Loki, were all sitting. They were discussing the murders and everything else that was going on.

“I wonder who did it,” Wanda said as she took a bite of her sandwich. “I saw that picture on Shieldbook. She was gutted. I can’t imagine how wrecked seeing that made her aunt.”

Loki leaned over Thor’s shoulder, “didn’t she turn you down for a date, Thor?”

Wanda looked at her boyfriend. “You told me you turned her down for me.”

Thor looked at his brother and then turned back to Wanda. “He’s lying, love. You know how he likes to stir up trouble.”

“How could anyone do that?” Natasha wondered aloud. Clint put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

“I heard they found her liver in the mailbox.” Loki said with a sneer.

“Just liver alone,” Thor said with a laugh. “Get it? LIVER alone?”

Natasha jumped to her feet and stormed off. Clint looked at the brothers. “Nice going guys.”

Loki looked at him with faux innocence. “What?”

Later that afternoon, Natasha was home and clearing up before Wanda got there. She held her phone between her shoulder and ear. “You sure you don’t mind staying over?”

“Of course not,” Wanda said. “It’ll be a fun sleepover weekend. I’m going to stop by the liquor store for provisions. Anything specific you want?”

“Nah. I’m good with anything. Just try to get here before dark. These murders have everyone spooked.”

After they hung up, Natasha decided to take a short nap in her room before Wanda got there. About two hours later, she awoke with a start. She looked at her phone and saw how much time had passed. She sent a text to Wanda to see where she was. As she was walking towards downstairs, her phone went off.

Natasha answered without looking at the screen. “Wanda, when are you going to get here?”

“Hello, Natasha,” a voice said. Natasha was unable to tell if it was male or female.

“I’m sorry. I’m waiting on a friend. Who is this?”

“You tell me.”

“Well I have no idea.”

“Scary night, isn’t it? With the murders and all, it’s like something out of a scary movie, huh?”

“Loki, you’re giving yourself away. Are you calling from work? Wanda is on her way to pick some stuff up.”

“Do you like scary movies, Natasha?”

“I like that thing you’re doing with your voice, Loki. It’s sexy.”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

“Oh come on, you know I don’t watch that shit.”

“What’s the matter? Too scary for you?” The voice had a playful tone to it.

“No. It’s just, what’s the point? The killer is stalking some big-breasted girl who can’t act, chasing her up the stairs when she should be running out the front door. It’s insulting.”

“Are you. . . alone in the house?”

“Loki, that’s so unoriginal. I’m so disappointed in you.”

“Well, maybe that’s because I’m not Loki.”

Natasha started to look around. “So, who are you?”

“The question isn’t ‘who am I’ but rather ‘where am I’?”

“So, where are you?”

“Your front porch.”

Natasha felt her heart drop. She walked to the door. “My porch huh? Well, I call your bluff.” Natasha opened the door and walked out onto the porch. She looked around but didn’t see anyone. “So, where are you?”

“Right here.”

Natasha still couldn’t see anyone. After looking for a few moments, she held the phone back up to her ear. “Can you see me right now?”

“Uh huh.”

“Oh really? So, what am I doing right now?” Natasha stuck her finger up her nose and started to turn around. “What am I doing? Hello?” she yelled into the phone.

There was no answer from the mysterious caller.

“That’s what I thought. Tell Wanda to hurry up. Okay? Bye now.”

As Natasha went to hang up, the voice called out, “if you hang up on me, you’ll die just like your mother! Do you want to die, Natasha? Your mother sure didn’t,” the voice taunted.

“Fuck you, you asshole.” Natasha ran back into the house and locked the door, including sliding the chain into place. As she backed away from the door, the hall closet flew open and a figure dressed in a black cloak with a white face jumped out, a knife in its raised hand. The figure slammed her body against the door. As Natasha fell to the ground, she swept the attacker’s feet out from under them and they fell to the ground. She kicked them in the face and got up.

Natasha tried to open the door, but in her haste, she forgot to undo the chain. She yanked the door open but was stopped short by the chain. The attacker got up and lunged at her again. Natasha barely managed to get away and she ran up the stairs to her bedroom. The attacker was close behind her. She ran into her bedroom and slammed the door closed. She locked the door and then opened her closet door, so that if her door opened, it would block the other door from opening all the way. As she backed away, the attacker threw their body against the door. The lock gave way but the other door prevented her door from opening all the way. The attacker pushed their arm through the small opening, waving the knife around.

Natasha was glad that her dad insisted on keeping a landline for the house and she picked up the receiver to call 911. As the call was going through, the attacker disappeared from the door. All of a sudden, BAM. Clint jumped at the open window and started to climb in. Natasha ran to her boyfriend and helped him get through the window. “Oh thank God.”

“Nat, what’s going on? The door was locked and I heard screaming.”

“There’s a killer in the house. He’s in the house.”

“He’s gone, Nat. It’s okay,” Clint soothed.

As Natasha hugged Clint, a thud resounded through the room. Natasha looked down to see a cellphone on the floor. Natasha backed away from Clint.

“Nat, what’s wrong?”

Natasha opened her doors and ran down the staircase, Clint running behind her. “Nat, wait!”

Natasha opened the door and came face with the mask of her attacker. She let out a scream.

[peakyblinderswhore]

Hey! Hope you are alright and that you have WiFi. Your last post inspired me if you have time for a request? I just finished my last essay and the chaos is very much present, and i was wondering if you could please write something about the Shelby family being chaotic, but like not life or death type of situation, just family/ sibling chaos! I hope this inspires you and don’t hesitate to ask me if you want me to be more precise, or to disregard this request. Hope you have a lovely day!

A/N: as chaotic as it gets. plus the addition of a life? this whole thing is chaotic evil, messing with my head and trying to keep up with where everyone is before i just say ‘oh look! here they are again!’. thanks for the fun i had writing this @perfectenthusiasttiger

edit: i forgot to say but this request humoured the whole situation that the world is in right now and so i did it before some of my other ones! don’t worry though, more content is always in the way <3

W/C: 1.9k

“Finn!” Polly calls, “Where are you?”

She was rushing around the betting den, trying to get everything she needed to be done in the time frame that she had.

Esme was sat down, her swollen stomach preventing her from too much movement, and counting money laid out on the table.

“Finn, get out here before I pull you out here myself!” Esme shouted, getting agitated the more Polly insisted on shouting after Finn.

People were walking in and out of the den, stopping for no one. Arthur was sitting in his office, legs up on the desk, drinking from a whiskey glass. Mumbling to himself, “Goddamn Polly, yelling at everyone.”

Up at the chalkboard, John was calling out odds for horses and marking them down for everyone to see, “Who’s next? We got more comin’, odds are changing people!”

“Finn!” Polly calls out again.

Esme sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes, moving from her position to stand, earning a few shouts from some of the men in the room who were trying to keep the work running smoothly but without her sitting there counting it creates a bump.

She makes her way towards her husband and pulls him to the side, “Get your brother down here now or get your Aunt to shut the fuck up otherwise I’m going to get a fucking migraine from all of this shouting,” her eyes are threatening and John’s widen, quickly nodding and running off to fetch his youngest brother.

Arthur gets up and walks over to where Polly was standing, “What you need him for, Polly?”

“Get out of the way, Arthur, you’re in the way,” she pushes past Arthur and picks up the betting book with both arms, holding it close to her chest.

Arthur throws his arms up in the air and storms out of the den into the Shelby home shouting after Finn on the way, slamming the door shut behind him so that no one else would follow him.

John comes back, hair ruffled slightly, and Esme calls after him, “Did you find Finn?”

“Finn? I thought you wanted Tommy.”

Esme groans and slams her fist down on the desk she was sat at, gritting her teeth, knowing that she would have to keep listening to Polly. John looks apologetically at Esem but quickly makes his way back to the chalkboard, grabbing the chalk and wiping off some of the old odds for the best being placed.

Moments later, Tommy comes bustling through, dressed in his full get-up with Isaiah following close behind. He tips his cap at Esme, she offers a tight smile before resting her head back in her hands, making her hair look even more stressed than she was.

“Polly, what did you need?” Tommy asks.

Polly lifts her head, confusion written on her face, “What the fuck… no! I asked for Finn; why have you brought Isaiah along with you?”

Tommy sighs and gestures to Isaiah, allowing the boy to step forward, “Thought you might need some help with something and Isaiah was with me anyway, which reminds me, have you seen his Dad?”

“Tommy,” Polly begins, arms on hips, “why the fuck would I have seen Isaiah’s Dad? Have you seen me leave this building all week? No. Fuck off to where you're needed Tommy. Isaiah can stay.”

Tommy sighs and drops his arms to his sides, “Esme,” he turns to face her, “d’you know where Finn might be?”

She lifts her head, eyes verging on wild as she replies, “No I don’t fucking know. Get him here so my migraine pisses off,” she stands slowly and does her best march away from her station.

Tommy brings his lips together, not pleased with Esme’s tone of voice and her leaving her work for someone else but turns his attention back to Isaiah, “Stay with her,” he motions to Polly, “until Finn comes then you’re to find your Dad when he’s finished doing Polly’s bidding.”

Isaiah nods, pulling his cap off. Tommy walks off but bumps into Arthur on the way, he grabs Arthurs shoulders to steady him and holds him at arm's length to get a good look at his brother, “Arthur, why are you walking like that?”

“Polly pissed me off so I kicked a wall.”

Tommy sighs and pats him on the back, “get some ice on it. You’ll be fine later on,” before walking out of the building to go somewhere less chaotic.

“Arthur,” Polly calls, “did you find Finn?” 

She’s not looking as she’s leant over the book, a cigarette hanging out of her lip as she smokes it, a glass of whiskey resting at the side, and flicking through the pages, only stopping to get Isaiah to take some notes on whatever she was looking at.

Arthur stands, ready to burst out in pure anger but holds himself together for a few seconds as he says, “No, Pol’, I didn’t fucking find him ‘cause you dismissed me so I walked off and kicked a fucking wall — which is now swollen.”

Polly sighs, dropping her shoulders and squeezing her eyes shut as she pinched the bridge of her nose with one hand and the other holding onto her cigarette, now half-burnt, “Arthur, put some fucking ice on your foot and the fetch Finn. He’s fucking about here somewhere.”

Arthurs's neck goes red, it quickly seeping up until it reached his face, “Would anyone listen to any of the fucking conversations that go on around here!”

“Just do as you’re told!”

Isaiah stands, not sure what to do as the two quarrels with each other so Polly snaps, “And don’t you stop either, mister.”

Arthur trudges off to fetch some ice and nearly walks straight into Esme, profusely apologising as she glares at him for not noticing her and her soon-to-be baby. Esme has fixed her hair slightly and was carrying a glass of water, “John,” he looks over to her, “we are not doing this,” she points at her stomach, “again if no one is going to mindful of me when I’m this fucking huge, how do you not see me?”

“I said I was sorry, alright!” Arthur calls, arms in the air as he walks back into the Shelby home.

John looks between the two and holds his breath, trying not to upset his wife more than she already was. Normally he would’ve said something back but her being this close to the end of her pregnancy meant her hormones were on an all-time high — and John would never win, he knew that. He turns back to calling out odds for horses and football games, a new addition as of recently.

Esme sighs at her husband’s lack of input but lets him do his work anyway. She sits back down and as she does, Polly asks, “Esme, what number have you got at the bottom of that page you’re working on, love?”

Esme read sit out and Polly nods, “write that down Isaiah,” she then lifts her glass to her lips, before mumbling, “where the fuck is Finn?”

“Esme, did you see Finn?”

Esme grits her teeth, trying not to lose her shit at Polly as she knew Polly would only throw it back in her face at a later date and manages to grit out, “No, Pol’ sorry.”

Isaiah leans back into his seat offering cheeky wink at Esme, “Looking gorgeous as ever today, Esme.”

“Don’t push your luck,” she simply says back, knowing he was taking the piss with her.

He rolls his head back, waiting for Polly to tell him what to do next but she had wandered off into the massive safe in her office, “Fucking Finn.”

She comes back out with a stack of one pound notes and says to Isaiah, “Count those.”

Isaiah looks up at her, eyebrow raised, “Aren’t those already counted?”

“Just do it,” she eyes him, threatening him to say something back to her.

Finn trudges over to where Polly and Isaiah were waiting for him, “Aunt Pol’,” he acknowledged her, “you’ve been calling… consistently.”

Esme lifts her hands up and puts them together, mumbling a quick thank you so she doesn’t have to have as much shouting.

Arthur followed about four steps behind, “Found him, Polly, he was mucking about in the alley for some reason.”

Polly twists her head to face him, “The fuck were you doing in an alleyway — you know what, I don’t want to fucking know,” she walks around the table, picking up the book and clearing some space around Isaiah where he was counting money before dropping it with a thud back onto the table.

“Polly!” Isaiah shouted, disgruntled as all of the money had fallen onto the floor and now he had to start counting again.

“Make yourself useful,” Polly says to Finn, patting him on the shoulder, “count these and add these and don’t forget those,” she was pointing at parts in the book that were supposed to mean something to her but Finn wasn’t paying any attention, he was more focused on knocking the notes, that Isaiah was placing back on the table, off of it.

Polly slapped him round the back of the head, “Pay attention, you.”

Arthur looks at the situation and decides that he isn’t needed anymore and turns on his good foot and begins walking towards his office with an ice bag in his hand ready to be put on his swollen foot.

“Uh-uh, mister! Get back here, you’ve got something to do too,” she throws the rest of her cigarette in an ashtray to let it fizzle out before gripping Arthur by the collar of his suit.

“For fuck sake,” Arthur mumbles, being pulled towards wherever Polly was taking him.

“You,” she says, pulling out a chair in her office, “are going to stay here and elevate your foot where I can see you.”

He grumbles but doesn’t object as it keeps him from doing anything out in the betting den.

“Isaiah, you can go now love.”

Isaiah mutters a ‘thank god’ and grabs his suit jacket before taking off, practically leaving the room in a whirlwind.

“How comes he gets to leave and I don’t,” Finn whines.

“Shut up, everyone else has been doing your work while you mucked about in alleyways doing fuck knows what.”

Right as Polly finishes her sentence, Esme breaks into a scream and hysteric tears begin flowing down her face, the whole of the betting den turns to face her, a puddle of water pooling below her skirts and darkening the fabric she was wearing.

“Oh fuck,” John says.

“Not right now, not right now!” Polly is shouting out orders to all of the people in the room. She orders John to clear the room so that she can get Esme to somewhere much more suitable for her to give birth.

Tommy walks in and calls out, “Why is everyone fighting to get out, isn’t that the opposite of what we’re going for?”

Polly glares daggers at Tommy, Esme’s arm rests on her and John’s shoulders as they carry her out of the betting den and into the Shelby home.

“Oh,” Tommy simply says, “Ada’s here.”

“Where?”

“Right here! How’s everyone — oh,” without another word Ada jumped into action to help Esme as she had once been helped herself.

“Fucking chaos, I’ll say,” Tommy says.

“All day,” Arthur says limping over, “this has been chaos, all day.”

[calumcest]

you and i were fireworks that went off too soon - chapter two

[ao3]

yes i finished my essay and was like writing another 6k of fic vs doing all the other work thats due within the next 10 days...Hmm...so here we are

A week passes, and Luke almost succeeds in putting Ashton to the back of his mind. 

He’s preoccupied with other things - the fact that he’s suddenly got three times as much work to do, because Chris has taken a week off to reunite with his soulmate; the fact that his boiler’s broken, and nobody’s around to come and fix it because everyone’s taking a break to try and find their soulmate; the fact that he’s having to stay at Calum’s, because his apartment is doing a great impression of a fridge right now, and that means listening to Michael and Calum’s hushed conversations about him when they think he’s asleep. They’re clearly worried about him, which is kind of sweet, but also makes Luke feel a little pathetic, throwing him back to the days after Ashton left where Michael and Calum would tiptoe around him, frowning at him but saying nothing, as though any words would be the wrong ones. 

Luke goes home from time to time to pick up post and new clothes, and on Sunday, he notices a note has been stuck through his letterbox. It’s stuck to the soggy newspaper that’s been forced through, so the ink’s run and Luke can’t read it anymore. He shrugs and chucks it out with the newspaper, thinking that if it were someone he knew they would have texted him, so it was probably some kind of advertising.

The only topic of conversation in society now is the soulmate tattoos. More and more research is being done, families are being torn apart, brought together, and churches are booked for weddings for the next eighteen months straight. Luke had finally brought himself to ask his parents what their situation was, and they’d smiled, and that was all he’d needed to know. 

Luke had thought it would take him a while to wrap his head around the idea of soulmates, but somehow, it hadn’t. Somehow, seeing the people he knows interact - seeing Michael and Calum interact - it seems like it’s the only logical answer, like there was never anything else they could have been. It sits uncomfortably in Luke’s stomach, because he knows it’s not like that for him and Ashton. Something went wrong with Luke’s tattoo - it wasn’t supposed to be Ashton, he’s sure of that. Or if it was, then maybe it was a sign from the universe that Luke should take a vow of celibacy.

Luke shrugs when he’s asked at work if he knows who his soulmate is. It’s not like he’s lying - he knows who his soulmate was, two years ago, but Ashton’s a stranger to him now. The thought makes Luke feel a little better, if only because it means Luke’s a stranger to Ashton too. Ashton no longer knows him, no longer has power over him, no longer has a grip on Luke’s lungs and heart and mind. 

It’s not until Wednesday evening that Ashton forces himself back to the forefront of Luke’s mind yet again. 

He’s sat on Calum’s sofa, destroying him at MarioKart, when his phone starts buzzing. At first, he ignores it, because getting this win is definitely more important than whatever bullshit Michael’s texting him (last time he paused a game to read a text from Michael it had just been a picture of an orange captioned ‘juicy’), but the buzzing continues, distracting him and making him slip on a banana Calum had thrown in front of him. 

“Fuck’s sake!” Luke yells, when Calum whoops joyfully as he makes it over the finish line a microsecond before Luke. “Fuck you. That wasn’t my fault.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Calum says, turning to him with a smug grin. “What, someone take control of your hands? You got that rat from Ratatouille up in those curls?”

“Remy,” Luke says, without thinking. 

“Huh?”

“The rat,” Luke says. 

“I can’t believe you know that,” Calum says, sounding very much like he can believe Luke knows that. 

“Fuck you,” Luke says again, scowling. “I bet you fucking told Michael to text me just so you could finally win a game.” 

“Michael’s napping, dude,” Calum says, looking somewhat amused. Luke frowns. Nobody texts him except Calum and Michael, and Calum’s right here. So if Michael’s asleep- 

His stomach drops. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he says, fishing his phone out of his pocket and watching the screen light up with the one name he doesn’t want to see. 

Ashton Irwin I’m outside

Ashton Irwin There’s no way you can’t hear this doorbell 

Ashton Irwin Have you moved? 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Luke says, and shoves his phone at Calum. Calum’s eyes widen as he reads, and he huffs out a laugh of disbelief. 

“What the fuck?” he says, sounding as incredulous as Luke feels. “He’s just fucking turned up at your apartment?” Luke nods, suddenly incredibly glad that his boiler’s broken. Ashton just fucking turning up at his place makes his skin crawl, makes him feel incredibly unsafe. 

“How many different ways do I need to tell him to fuck off before he gets the message?” Luke says, and there’s an edge of desperation to his tone that even he can hear. Calum’s expression softens slightly. 

“You can just block him,” he suggests. 

“Well, he’ll just turn up at my fucking apartment again, then, won’t he?” Luke says. 

“You can stay here until it blows over,” Calum offers. Luke loves him. 

“Thanks, Cal,” he says, and he means it with every fibre of his being. “I just- I just want him to go away.” He hopes Calum understands what he means - not just go away from his apartment, but leave Luke’s life again, because it had taken so much of Luke to get over him and rewrite himself after Ashton had broken almost all of him, and every interaction with him is a sickening reminder of how things used to be, who he used to be. He can’t fucking stand it. 

“Want me to talk to him?” Calum says. Luke hesitates, then shakes his head. 

“I don’t want him to think I can’t handle it,” he says. I don’t want him to think he broke me remains unspoken, but hangs between them uncomfortably. 

“Okay,” Calum says, because he understands. He always understands. “Want me to help you draft a reply, then?” Luke nods. 

“Can you call Mikey, too?” he says, and it comes out a little unsure, a little small. Calum’s face softens into a smile. 

“‘Course,” he says, reaching for his phone and unplugging it from where it’s been charging to call Michael. 

Michael picks up after two rings, because it’s Calum, and Luke can see the outline of him in the dark, lying in bed. 

“Hey, love,” Calum says softly, and Luke is suddenly jerked into discomfort, like he’s intruding on a private moment. Calum and Michael haven’t said anything to Luke about their newfound soulmate status, and Luke hasn’t asked, all of them dancing around the topic like talking about it is going to irrevocably change their group dynamic somehow. Luke’s never heard Calum call anyone love, and the names he’s got for Michael are usually more along the lines of dickhead, arsehole, fucker, and it makes Luke realise just how left out he is now, all because of two fucking tattoos. He has to swallow back the jealousy rising in his throat, press down the spike of anger flaring in his stomach. 

“This better be fucking good,” Michael mumbles, muffled by his duvet. 

“Ashton’s outside Luke’s house,” Calum says, and there’s a sudden sound of rustling, and then the light is turned on, Michael squinting and looking somewhere between furious and concerned. 

“That bastard,” he says, which seems to be a bit of a mantra where Ashton’s concerned. “What the fuck? Has Luke called the police?” 

“No,” Luke puts in, although now that Michael mentions it, he thinks he probably should. “He might be gone by now, anyway.” 

“Oh, I forgot you were at Calum’s,” Michael says, even though he’s been complaining about it for, like, four days straight.

“We’re going to draft a response,” Calum tells Michael, who nods. 

“I’ve got one,” he says. “‘Fuck off, you fucking bastard, and also, I’m calling the police on you. Arsehole. Fuck you.’” Calum rolls his eyes, and Luke laughs, letting the warmth of it flood his veins. It helps to know he’s not alone, both in his anger at Ashton and in dealing with the situation. 

“I already told him not to contact me anymore,” he says.

“And he somehow thinks that turning up at your house doesn’t count as contact?” Michael says, in disbelief. 

“Well, either way, he texted you,” Calum points out. 

“So he just doesn’t give a shit,” Michael says. “Right. Got it.” 

“What should I say?” Luke says, with an only-slightly-melodramatic sigh. 

“Tell him to fuck off,” Michael says. 

“Politely,” Calum adds. 

“How do I do that?” Luke says, fingers hovering over the keyboard. “Kindly fuck off? Please fuck off?” 

“Keep it business,” Calum suggests. “Keep him at arm’s length, don’t let it get emotional. Talk to him like you’d talk to a client that’s pissing you off.” 

“As per my last communication,” Michael says sarcastically, and Calum and Luke both laugh. 

“I think you’re right,” Luke says. “Keep emotion out of it.” 

“Yeah,” Michael agrees. “Don’t let him think you still care.”

“I don’t.” 

“Yeah, but you know what Ashton’s like,” Michael says. “You could come at him with an axe and he’d interpret it as ‘Luke cares about my existence’.” Luke snorts, feeling a little spiteful and not regretting it at all. 

“How about ‘I don’t feel comfortable with you turning up at my house unannounced’?” Calum says. 

“And ‘I’ve already told you I’m not interested in speaking to you, please stop contacting me’?” Michael adds. Luke nods, typing it out. 

Me I don’t feel comfortable with you turning up at my house unannounced. I’ve already told you I’m not interested in speaking to you, please stop contacting me. 

He reads it out again, and both Michael and Calum nod. 

“Add a ‘you bastard’ at the end,” Michael suggests, and Luke rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning, a wave of love and appreciation for Michael and Calum suddenly washing over him. 

He would never have made it through Ashton without them, and he doesn’t think he’d be able to handle Ashton 2.0 without them either. They’re always there, never questioning, never judging, fiercely supportive, and Luke doesn’t know what he did to deserve two such unwaveringly loyal best friends. 

“Thanks, guys,” Luke says, as he presses send, immediately locking his phone and trying to push down the anxiety that bubbles in his stomach as soon as he sees the words turn blue. “For everything.”

“Of course,” Michael says gently. 

“Always, Luke,” Calum says sincerely. 

Luke thinks that just maybe, with Michael and Calum at his side, he can get through this. 

 -------

 It turns out Ashton and Luke have wildly differing definitions of please stop contacting me. Luke thinks it means ‘don’t speak to me anymore’, and Ashton thinks it means ‘wait a day before trying again’. 

Luke’s on his lunch break when his phone buzzes. Knowing better than to just assume it’s Michael or Calum now, he fishes it out of his pocket with trepidation. It’s Ashton, his name white against the black of the screen with the green swipe to answer button staring back at Luke. 

If he doesn’t answer, Ashton will just try again. If he answers and shouts at Ashton to fuck off, Ashton will know that Luke’s not capable of being cordial with him, that Ashton had hurt him so much that it still stings two years later. So, sighing, Luke swipes on the answer button, and lifts the phone to his ear with a resigned, and slightly pissed off, “What?”

“Hi,” Ashton says, and it still makes Luke feel a little sick. There’s something jarring about hearing the same voice that used to call him baby, sweetheart, gorgeous, now miles away on the other end of a staticky phone line, strange and unknown. 

“I told you not to contact me anymore,” Luke says, and it comes out a little weary. 

“I know,” Ashton says, and he has the grace to sound guilty. 

“Right. So you’re just choosing to ignore that?” 

“No, I-” Ashton cuts himself off, and there’s a moment of silence before he takes a deep breath. “I really think we should talk.” 

“I’ve told you,” Luke says, for what must be the thirtieth time, “I don’t want to talk. I have nothing to say to you.” 

“I do, though,” Ashton says. 

“I don’t want to hear it.” 

“Then why did you pick up?” 

“Because you’d just fucking turn up at my house again, or something,” Luke says. “Which, by the way, is really fucking creepy. Like, it made me feel really unsafe. Michael wanted me to call the police.”  

“I know,” Ashton says, and he actually sounds sincere. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” Luke does a double take. Ashton, apologising? 

“Right,” Luke says, a little nonplussed, because he was expecting a justification, an excuse, not an apology. That’s not really Ashton’s style. “Well. Don’t do it again. I won’t hesitate to get a restraining order.” 

“Okay,” Ashton says, and then, without missing a beat: “Can I take you out for dinner?” Luke’s mouth falls open. 

“Are you fucking insane?” Luke says, too incredulous to be angry. “How many different ways do I have to say ‘I want nothing to do with you’ until you get the message?” 

“We really should talk about what this means,” Ashton presses. “Like. We’re soulmates, now.” The words twist deep in Luke’s gut, and he swallows back the queasy feeling rising in his throat. 

“What if we always were?” he bites out, and he can’t help the bitterness that drips out with the words. They’re met with an uncomfortable silence, and Luke feels a stab of spiteful glee. 

“I want to talk about it,” Ashton says finally, which doesn’t answer Luke’s question. “Please. Just one dinner. And then I promise I’ll leave you alone.” 

Luke tips his head back against the wall, letting his eyes flutter shut. 

On the one hand, he wants Ashton to fuck off and leave him alone, indefinitely. He wants to go back to forgetting Ashton, to living a life without him and to uncomfortable first dates and fumbling hookups. He wants to pretend his tattoo doesn’t exist, to be able to choose who he loves rather than be assigned someone to love, someone he already tried to love and worked hard to stop loving. 

On the other hand, he knows that Ashton won’t leave him alone until he gives him what he wants. Sure, he might relent for a few months, but Luke will always have that knot of anxiety in his stomach every time he gets a text, every time the doorbell rings, and one dinner might be worth giving himself peace of mind. 

“I’ll think about it,” Luke says eventually. “But just for the record, the fact I have to do what you want before you respect my wishes is doing you absolutely no favours.” 

“I know,” Ashton says heavily, like he’s fucking sad about it, or something. Luke doesn’t think Ashton has it in him to consider Luke’s feelings. “Thank you.” 

“I didn’t say yes.” 

“I know,” Ashton says again. Luke grits his teeth and bites back the fuck you that’s on the tip of his tongue, chanting Calum’s words to himself: keep him at arm’s length, don’t let it get emotional. I’ll think about it isn’t a yes, whatever Ashton wants to tell himself. 

“Fine,” Luke says, after he’s taken a moment to collect himself, cool, calm, professional. “I’ll get back to you when I’ve had time to think. Don’t contact me in the meantime.” 

“Okay,” Ashton says. 

“Good,” Luke says, and hangs up before Ashton has a chance to respond. 

Jesus fucking Christ, he thinks, exhaling heavily and staring at the grey clouds gathering above him and throwing a silent curse out at the universe, just in case it can suddenly read thoughts, for saddling him with this fucking situation. Ashton Irwin might very well be the death of him, for a second time. 

 ------- 

 Luke completely forgets that he’d told Ashton he’d consider going to dinner with him until Calum tentatively brings him up the following Tuesday. 

“Did Ashton ever say anything to your message?” he asks, scratching behind Duke’s ears, and Luke blinks at him. 

“Did I not tell you?” he says, surprised. He’s not sure how the entire conversation with Ashton slipped his mind for almost an entire week, but he supposes that’s what happens when he doesn’t care about someone. 

“No?” Calum says, equally surprised, as though he hadn’t expected Luke to have heard anything. Luke fucking wishes. 

“He rang me the next day,” Luke says, and Calum frowns, hand stilling on Duke’s back. Duke turns and gives Calum a reproachful look, and Calum starts petting him again absent-mindedly. “Asked me to meet him for dinner.” Calum gapes at him. 

“Are you serious?” he says, in disbelief. 

“I know,” Luke agrees. 

“Jesus,” Calum says, sounding almost in awe of Ashton’s shamelessness. “Was he this delusional when you were together?” Luke laughs, and shrugs. “What’d he say when you said no?” Luke hesitates, biting his lip. 

“I told him I’d think about it,” Luke says after a moment, and Calum’s eyes widen. 

“Luke,” he says, and it’s careful, worried, and Luke hates it. 

“Look, I know,” he says, before Calum can say something like Ashton nearly killed you last time, are you sure this is a good idea? “I know, Cal, okay? I just- I need him to leave me alone.” Calum frowns again. 

“What, and he’s trying to force your hand by making him leaving you alone conditional on you going out to dinner with him?” he says. Luke nods. “What a cunt.” 

“I know,” Luke says. “I think he’d leave me alone if I said no, but I think I’d be jumping every time I got a text. I’d rather just have one dinner with him and know that’s it.” Calum’s frown doesn’t leave his face, but he nods slowly. 

“Okay,” he says. “If it’s for your own peace of mind.” 

“It is,” Luke says, exhaling heavily and slumping back on Calum’s sofa. 

“So you’re going?” 

“I don’t know,” Luke says. “I haven’t thought about it.” 

“You don’t have to,” Calum says, and it’s gentle, supportive. “We can go to the police, say he’s harassing you. We can get a restraining order.” 

“I don’t want to go through that,” Luke says, carding a hand through his hair, a little stressed at the idea. It sounds a little extreme, and a lot expensive.

“Okay,” Calum says easily. “Whatever you want to do, Luke. You know I’ll support whatever decision you make.” Luke smiles, small and genuine.

“Thanks, Cal,” he says. 

“I can’t promise Michael will, though,” Calum adds, and Luke snorts. 

“No, probably not,” he says. 

 -------

 “You said what?” Michael sounds absolutely outraged at the very idea. 

“I said I’d think about it,” Luke repeats. Michael folds his arms. 

“And you’ve thought about it, and you’re going to say no, right?” Luke hesitates, and that’s enough for Michael to make a noise of exasperation and roll his eyes. “Jesus Christ, Luke. You’re not going for dinner with fucking Ashton.” 

“Who are you, my fucking mum?” Luke says, a little irritably. Michael’s expression softens a little at the barbs hidden in Luke’s words. 

“I just don’t want-” he starts, but Luke cuts him off with a shake of his head. 

“I know, Mike,” he says, because he does, he knows, and he doesn’t need to hear it. “I’m twenty-fucking-six, mate. I can make my own decisions.” Michael looks torn, like he half-wants to yell at Luke (which, frankly, he probably does), but then he sighs. 

“Fine,” he says, sounding very much like it’s not fine. “Are you going to go?” Luke shrugs. 

“I haven’t thought about it yet,” he says. Michael gives him a hard look, and looks like he wants to say something else, but then Calum comes back from the kitchen, Duke in his wake, and sets himself down between the two of them. 

“Play nice, you two,” he says warningly, but he’s only looking at Michael. Luke feels a touch smug about that. 

“Fuck you,” Michael says, reaching for one of the bags of popcorn Calum’s brought through from the kitchen. Duke gets on his hind legs and paws at the sofa, gazing at Michael beseechingly, and Michael almost absent-mindedly reaches down to pick him up and put him in his lap. Duke settles down comfortably, resting his head on Michael’s thigh and blinking at Calum and Luke calmly. Something about the familiarity of the interaction makes Luke’s heart ache a little bit.

“Whose turn is it to pick a movie tonight?” Calum asks, reaching for the other two bags of popcorn and tossing one at Luke. 

“Mine,” Michael says. 

“No it’s not,” Luke says. “It’s mine.”

“Yeah, but your taste in movies is so shit that I’m vetoing your turn,” Michael says. Luke squawks indignantly. 

“What?” he says, incensed. “My taste is fucking fine, thank you very much.” 

“He kind of has a point,” Calum says, nodding solemnly at Luke. Luke scowls. 

“Fuck you,” he says, ripping open his popcorn. “Just because you’re fucking soulmates now doesn’t mean you get to gang up on me.” As soon as he’s said it, the atmosphere changes; Calum and Michael exchange a glance, before looking back at Luke. 

“We should probably talk about that,” Michael says carefully, and Luke groans, pinching the bridge of his nose with salty, buttery fingers. Gross. 

“Can we not?” he says, wiping his nose with his sleeve to avoid looking at either of them. “Please, just for one fucking night, let me forget the whole soulmate thing exists.” Calum and Michael both hesitate, and then Calum shoots Michael another quick look and nods at Luke. 

“Okay,” he says. “But your taste in movies is still shitty.” 

Luke throws a cushion at him.

 ------- 

 On Sunday night, at two in the morning, Luke types out a single word. 

Me Ok. 

He presses send, turns airplane mode on, and goes to sleep. 

 -------

 Luke completely forgets that he’d turned airplane mode on on Monday morning until he gets on the train and tries to load Twitter. When he turns it off, messages start popping in, so fast that he can’t read them before the next one arrives. Most of them are from the group chat with Michael and Calum, some argument about whether twenty-four hour time is better or worse than twelve-hour, and he’s got one from his dad asking how he’s doing, and - the reason he’d turned airplane mode on in the first place - one from Ashton. 

Ashton Irwin Thank you. 8pm tonight, Zahli?

Luke bites his lip, staring out of the window as he thinks for a moment.  

Me Ok. 

 ------- 

 He doesn’t tell Calum until after lunch. 

“I said yes,” he says, as casually as possible, staring at his nails like they’re the most interesting thing in the world. They’re kind of disgusting, actually. “Hey, do you have a nail file at home?” 

“When are you seeing him?” Calum asks. “And yeah, in the cupboard under the sink in the upstairs bathroom. Have you tried calling about the boiler again?” Luke nods, picking at his thumbnail with his index finger. 

“Yeah, they said they wouldn’t be back for another week,” he says. Calum pulls a face. 

“You’re paying my water bill this month,” he says. “You take as long in one shower as I do in ten.” 

“Why should I pay for your lack of hygiene?” Luke says. 

“Fuck you, I’m hygienic,” Calum says. “And at least I know how to pick up towels.” 

“Hey, I’m getting better,” Luke says. “I hang them up now.” Calum rolls his eyes. 

“Stuffing them into the towel warmer is not hanging them up,” he says. 

“It’s better than leaving them on the floor, though,” Luke points out, ripping a bit of his thumbnail off. 

“Oh, what, so I should praise you for doing less than the bare minimum because it could be worse?” 

“I mean, a little thanks wouldn’t go amiss,” Luke says, grinning at Calum. Calum scoffs, and rolls his eyes again. 

“You’re the worst housemate I’ve ever had,” he tells Luke. 

“You’ve never had a housemate.” 

“I have now,” Calum says, pointing at him, “and you’re the worst one.” 

“Well, then by definition I’m also the best,” Luke says, biting at the edge of his thumbanil. Calum scowls, and flips him off. 

“When are you seeing Ashton?” Calum asks, which Luke’s kind of torn on, because on the one hand, Calum changing the subject means Luke’s won, but on the other hand, the subject he’s gone for is Ashton. 

“Tonight,” Luke mumbles, around a mouthful of thumb. 

“Tonight?” Calum repeats, and Luke nods. “Okay. Where?” 

“Zahli.” Calum raises his eyebrows. 

“He’ll try to pay,” he says. “Don’t let him.” Luke rolls his eyes. 

“Obviously not,” he says, because he’s not an idiot. 

“What are you going to wear?” Luke stops. He hadn’t even thought about that. 

“I don’t know,” he says, with a shrug. “Probably just my work clothes.” Calum looks him up and down, nodding thoughtfully. 

“Good choice,” he says. “You look good, so you’ll be showing him you’re alright without him, but not so good that he’ll think you’ve put in effort to impress him.” 

“True,” Luke says, because he’s well beyond pretending that he’s not analysing the situation this deeply himself. 

“I wonder what he wants to talk about,” Calum muses, tapping a pen against his chin. 

“Probably, like, how successful his band is, how many guys he’s fucked since me, how happy he’s been,” Luke says, a little spiteful and a little bitter. 

“You’ve been successful,” Calum points out. “You’ve fucked guys since him. You’ve been happy.” 

“I know,” Luke says, but there’s a little twisting in his stomach, because he’s always felt so fucking inferior to Ashton. It feels like he has something to prove since the breakup, like he has to show both Ashton and himself that he’s better now than the iteration of Luke Ashton knew had been. 

“You don’t have to do it,” Calum says, clearly seeing the uncertainty written all over Luke’s face. “You can still back out.” Luke shakes his head. 

“Not now that I’ve said yes,” he says. “He’ll read into it.” 

“So let him,” Calum says, with a shrug. He doesn’t get it - he never cares what other people think, especially not people he doesn’t care about. Luke can’t stop caring what people think about him, especially people he used to care about. 

“I can’t,” Luke says. “It’ll be fine. It’ll be, like, an hour, tops. And then I never have to speak to or see him again.” A weight of relief settles in his stomach at the mere thought, that in six hours everything will be over and his life can return to how it was six months ago. 

“Thank fuck for that,” Calum says, and Luke can’t help but heartily agree. 

 -------

 Luke’s at Zahli at eight on the dot, and, because they hadn’t talked about whether they’d wait outside or go in, decides to head inside on his own. His stomach is a bundle of nerves, tension and anxiety settled into every cell of his body, because this will be the first time he’s seen Ashton in two years. The last time he’d seen Ashton, Ashton had been his, and Luke had been a wreck. It’s embarrassing to think back to, that someone he barely even knows now has seen him like that, at his most vulnerable, so Luke orders a glass of red wine to try and take his mind off it. 

He’s forcing himself to be engrossed in the food menu when Ashton sits down. 

“Hi,” Ashton says, voice clear and low, and Luke looks over his food menu at him. 

It feels like déjà-vu, if déjà-vu involved feeling suddenly sick and defenceless and pathetic. Ashton looks almost the same as the last time Luke had seen him, minus the stressed expression on his face, and maybe with a few more crow’s feet. His golden curls have been dyed black, tucked behind his ear besides the one strand he never could control, and Luke hates that he remembers that. 

“Hi,” Luke says, proud of how steady and cool it comes out. 

“You look good,” Ashton comments, after an awkward moment. 

“This isn’t a date,” Luke says. 

“I know.” 

“Good.” Luke turns back to his menu, palms sweating, heart racing, and tries to focus on the words on the page. 

“Have you ordered?” 

“Obviously not,” Luke says, because he’s got the fucking menu in his hand. 

“Oh, right.” Luke rolls his eyes privately, but says nothing, and then the waiter’s coming over and Luke’s just pointing to the first thing he sees on the page and smiling politely. The waiter, however, then takes the menus away from both of them, and Luke’s left with nothing to hide behind, and has to look at Ashton. 

He’s dressed nicely, in a long-sleeved black lace shirt, and he’s got a few more rings on his fingers than the last time Luke had seen him. He’s still just as muscular - maybe even a little more - and his hazel eyes look a little older, blinking at Luke from behind dark lashes. Luke feels so queasy at the sight of him, almost exactly the same but somehow so fucking different, feels the echoes of the worthlessness and emptiness he’d felt in Ashton’s wake squeezing at his lungs, and wills himself not to throw up. 

“So,” Ashton says, after a long, uncomfortable silence. Luke’s not sure whether he wants to yell at Ashton, cry, leave, or die. Dying currently sounds like the most enticing option of the lot.

“Talk,” Luke says curtly. Ashton blinks. 

“Can you at least be cordial with me?” he says. Luke stares at him. What the fuck makes Ashton think he’s deserved that?

“Talk,” he repeats, because he doesn’t trust himself not to fly off the handle if he says anything non-monosyllabic. Ashton sighs, and looks down at his hands. 

“Okay,” he says, taking a deep breath. “I want to apologise.” 

“Right.” 

“Can I- can I just say this without you interrupting?” 

Luke hesitates, then nods. Biting remarks aren’t part of the ‘keep him at arm’s length, don’t let it get emotional’ routine, anyway. It won’t hurt to let Ashton say his piece.

“Thank you.” Ashton takes another deep breath. “I want to apologise. I know how I left-” he winces “-was pretty cold, pretty brutal. I’m sorry for that. I’ve given it a lot of thought over the last two years, and I regret it. Like. A lot. I missed you. A lot. I wanted to get back in contact with you, but I knew- I knew you wouldn’t want to hear from me. And then the tattoo came, and I- I didn’t look at it, for a few days, because when I looked at what everyone was saying online, I knew it would be you.” He pauses, eyes flicking back to Luke, like he’s gauging his reaction. Luke, though, is sitting still, emotionless, face blank. He’s not giving Ashton any satisfaction. “And then I looked, and it was. And I knew I had to be yours, but you didn’t say anything.” The pause is longer this time, an invitation for Luke to speak.

“Okay,” Luke says, because he doesn’t really have anything else to say. 

“I- it’s not just the tattoo, Luke,” Ashton says, and Luke never wants to hear his name coming from Ashton’s lips again. “It’s you. I regretted it the minute I left, but I couldn’t go back to you, not knowing what I did. How I did it. I- When I heard about the tattoos, I knew it was going to be you. It’s always been you.” 

Luke kind of wants to laugh. Two years ago, these are the exact words he wanted to hear from Ashton. It was a mistake, I’m sorry, I love you, it’s only you - those words bounced around his head in different fantasies for months on end. Now, though, he feels nothing, and that’s the biggest success Luke thinks he’s ever had in his life. He’s sitting across from the person that took him the closest to the edge, and he feels nothing. It makes him feel powerful, feel in control, and he relaxes a little. Ashton’s apologising to him, opening up to him. Luke’s not giving anything away.

“You fell out of love with me,” Luke says, and it’s not accusing, it’s not emotional. It’s calm, rational, matter-of-fact. 

“I thought I did,” Ashton says, and he opens his mouth to speak but then the waiter comes, handing them their dishes with a smile. Luke throws a smile at him, but Ashton barely glances at him. There’s an awkward silence as the waiter asks if they want any pepper, and Luke says yes please, and they have to wait for the waiter to bring it over and then for Luke to say stop. Luke lets it go on a little longer than maybe strictly necessary, childishly enjoying the way Ashton’s squirming in his seat, and then thanks the waiter with a brilliant smile, just to drive home the point of how friendly he can be with people that aren’t Ashton. 

“I thought I did,” Ashton repeats, when the waiter’s finally gone and Luke’s tucking into his potatoes. “That’s why I left. I thought I didn’t love you anymore, and then I actually had to live without you, and I realised it was just because we were settling into a familiar love. I just couldn’t handle the commitment, and it made me block you out.” Luke raises an eyebrow, but keeps eating, and Ashton sighs. 

“Look,” he says. “I- I know I fucked up. Badly. But I didn’t need a tattoo to tell me that. I already knew what the tattoo confirmed. I’d-” he swallows. “I’d really like the opportunity to have a second chance.” Luke sets his fork down at that, and sits back in his chair. 

“Do you know what you did to me?” he says, calm and even. Ashton just stares at him, which Luke takes as a no, so he goes on. “You left me feeling like I was worthless. I spent months in therapy, and even longer crying on Calum and Michael’s shoulders every night. I couldn’t be alone. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe because everything was you.” He pauses, weighing up his next words. “You left, and I was left behind. I had to work hard to fall out of love with you. That was your choice, not mine. I would probably never have stopped loving you if you’d let me. But you moved on, and so I had to as well. And the consequence of your choice, your actions, is that I don’t love you anymore. I don’t feel anything for you anymore. I’m only here to get you to leave me alone.” Ashton looks a little sick when Luke finishes. 

“And the fact we’re soulmates doesn’t mean anything to you?” he says, his voice cracking slightly on the word ‘soulmates’. Luke shrugs. 

“No,” he says. “I don’t want to be with you. I don’t care who else you fuck. I don’t care who else you love. I don’t care about you anymore, Ashton.” Ashton swallows, and nods. 

“I guess I deserve that,” he says, and Luke can’t help but huff out a laugh. 

“You kind of do,” he says, but it’s not unkind. Ashton sighs, and rakes a hand through his hair. 

“I thought you’d be more open to the idea,” he admits, taking Luke aback a little with his honesty. 

“You don’t know me anymore,” Luke says. “Don’t kid yourself that you do. I’m not the same person you left behind.” 

“Doesn’t it bother you, though? That we’re supposed to be together?”

“I guess sometimes the universe gets it wrong,” Luke says, with a shrug. “We tried, and it didn’t work.” 

“It might work now that I know how to love you properly,” Ashton says. 

“I’m not going to give you a second chance based on a ‘maybe’,” Luke says. Ashton stares at him for a moment, and then nods, tight-lipped and unhappy. For the first time, Luke feels a little sorry for him. He’s not even touched his food. 

“Can I see it?” Ashton asks, after a moment. 

“It’s on my back,” Luke says. “It’s your bird tattoo, carrying a drumstick in its mouth with one of your moons in the background.” Ashton nods again, but it’s absent-minded, almost numb.

“That sounds beautiful,” he says. 

“It is,” Luke says. 

“Mine’s a daisy chain wrapped around a microphone,” Ashton says. 

“That’s my favourite flower,” Luke says, without thinking, and Ashton nods. Of course, Ashton already knew that. Luke remembers the conversation; Ashton laughing at him (“Daisies can’t be your favourite flower, Luke, that’s fucking stupid.”), his defensiveness (“Fuck you, they’re cute.”), chucking a cushion at a giggling Ashton’s head. 

“It’s on my tricep,” Ashton says, even though Luke hadn’t asked. 

“Mine’s on my shoulderblade.” Ashton nods, and they lapse into silence. Luke’s finished his food, and Ashton’s not even glanced at his, which is stopping the waiter from coming back to clear their plates away. 

“We should probably pay,” Luke says, when the silence stretches on for so long that he thinks it might be Tuesday already. 

“Okay,” Ashton says, and he sounds kind of sad. Luke flags down the waiter, who asks Ashton if there was a problem with the food, and an awkward conversation ensues in which Ashton smiles at the waiter and tells him no, he just doesn’t feel well, but his friend had really enjoyed the food, and Luke watches as the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. The waiter asks if they want to split the bill or pay as one, and Luke jumps in and says they want to split it before Ashton can make one final grand romantic gesture, or whatever. The waiter nods, coming back (much to Luke’s relief) in record time with the card machine and two bills. Luke and Ashton pay, thank the waiter, and then fumble with their coats as they get up and head out into the temperate November night. 

“So,” Ashton says, when they get out of the restaurant. “I guess this is it.” Luke nods. 

“This is it,” he says. 

“I had a nice evening,” Ashton says, and Luke can’t help but laugh. 

“No, you didn’t,” he says. Ashton half-smiles. 

“Okay, no I didn’t,” he admits. “But I did enjoy seeing you again.” Luke nods, not really sure how to take that. 

“Good luck with everything,” he says. 

“You too,” Ashton says. Luke smiles at him, and it’s a real smile, partially fuelled by relief, and partially by something he can’t quite put his finger on. 

“Get home safe,” Luke says, because he can’t say ‘see you’, since he’s sincerely hoping not to. 

“You too,” Ashton says again. Luke nods, offers him one last smile, and then turns on his heel and walks away. 

His shoulderblade tingles as he goes, and there’s an odd edge of sadness to his relief, but he doesn’t stop or look back.

taglist: @glitterlukey @hey-its-grey 

chapter three

[obsessivedilettante]

20 in 10: A Drama Retrospective

Since I’ve been all quiet on the drama front this year because of life reasons, I thought it would be fun to go back and pick out 20 of the most memorable dramas of the last decade. Maybe not necessarily the best dramas or even my favorites (although some are!), but two dramas each year that were somehow notable moments in my drama-watching timeline.

2009: Gateway Drugs

Boys over Flowers (KBS)

This is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a good drama. It is not one I think I can ever really rewatch (although I will happily revisit the 2005 Japanese version, and I had a hellava fun time watching the latest Chinese version). But! It was the first kdrama I remember watching, and the first step on the slippery slope of eventually becoming a Drama Addict. I mostly remember it being crazy popular on places like mysoju (RIP), and so I checked it out due to curiosity, and the rest, as they say, is history. Or, should I say, almost paaaaradise!

You’re Beautiful (SBS)

This one I also watched because it became crazy-popular online, and curiosity got the better of me. I really didn’t know much about k-pop prior to dramas, so I had no idea until after this drama that k-pop was more about pretty people in crazy fashion, dancing in syncopation in bizarrely lit rooms, rather than playing instruments. Because it was thanks to this drama that I got my crash-course on k-pop as a phenomenon -- both the fandom side, and the crazy things that artists have to go through to claw their way into the public’s view (nevar 4get the glorious ramen dance). Since Angel was a group that played instruments, and Hongki and Yonghwa were also from groups that played instruments, I assumed that all kpop were groups that played instruments. Oh, sweet summer child...

But it did get me started on my k-pop journey, first falling in love with FT Island and CNBLUE, before falling into the rabbit hole of the other prominent groups of the day. (SNSD! The Wonder Girls! Super Junior! DBSK! SS501! Kara! 2PM! 2AM! Shinee! BEG! Epik High! U-KISS! All the debut groups, like 2NE1, MBLAQ, B2ST, 4Minute, f(x), T-ara, After School... basically 2009 was a magical year in k-pop.)

If I had just watched Boys Over Flowers, I don’t know that I would have become a Drama Addict. But You’re Beautiful pushed me closer to the edge, with the zany humor of the Hong Sisters (and the desire for a pig-bunny of my own!). It would really be Coffee Prince that would push me over the edge, but that aired in 2007 so it doesn’t count for this list. But I had to mention it anyway, because, well, it’s Coffee Prince and where my love for Handsome Oppa began.

2010: More Than Candy

The Woman Who Wants To Marry (MBC)

A lot of the dramas I watched at first had that typical “Candy” character, the poor-but-scrappy girl who would somehow be saved by the guy and become the Cinderella she never knew she wanted to be. So it was a delight when I encountered women who were not only older than high-school-age or early twenties, but in their thirties, with rich full lives! Plus, this was one of my earliest introductions to the concept of the “noona romance” (a concept that I’ve since heartily embraced, of course). I started it primarily because Kim Bum was my favorite of the Flower Boys, but I stuck with it because I fell in love with the women (and I still have a girl-crush on Bu-ki).

Harvest Villa (tvn)

This show is insane. But in the good way, the way that the writer intended, and not in the “are a bunch of monkeys typing this script?” train-wreck way. There was basically no buzz about this show, and I feel like I somehow accidentally stumbled over it, but it was love at first sight. I’ve never forgotten the late hours binging it, being so sucked into the story that I absolutely had to finish it as soon as I could, disappointed that there wasn’t more of it to enjoy when I finally finished, bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived, but satisfied.

I then later gobbled down this writer’s next drama, and her next drama, and the next, until everyone else finally realized thanks to Signal that Kim Eun-hee was as amazing a writer as I kept insisting to anyone who would listen (aka no one).

2011: To Binge or Not To Binge?

White Christmas (KBS)

I did not watch White Christmas in 2011. I actually watched it in 2013. I was always a steadfast binger, preferring to wait until the buzz about a show would sway me into spending my precious free-time watching something that would be worth my while (not that my drama choices were always good, but at least I tried to avoid the duds). I still prefer to binge, since waiting weeks for new episodes is vaguely frustrating when I want to know what happens next, right now! Plus, I’m very good at forgetting that I’m watching a show in the week-long wait for new episodes, and then just... never picking it back up again.

Despite watching White Christmas a couple years after it aired, it remains one of my favorites, and one I love to rewatch, even though I’ve already experienced  whodunnit cliff-hangers and psychological rollercoasters. It became a tradition of sorts here on tumblr for a bunch of us to rewatch it over the holiday season -- alas, I haven’t joined in that tradition for the past couple of years, but I hope that somewhere in this blue hell hole that there are a loyal few keeping the tradition alive.

At least we have this drama to thank for bringing us all the model-actors that were new and clueless in White Christmas, but would later go on to be leading men in their own right. Of course, some of them haven’t exactly made the best drama choices (*cough*SungJoon*cough*), but then there are others (*cough*SooHyuk*cough*) that I’m impatiently waiting for to pick up a new drama so I can see those post-army abs.

Tree With Deep Roots (SBS)

This is the first drama that I recall live-watching. I vaguely remember regretting it at the time, since it was agony waiting for new episodes, but it was also fun to have a week to speculate and ponder the show. And what a beautiful show to ponder! This was also one of the few sageuks I actually watched, being generally intimidated by anything longer than 16-20 episodes, and my historical knowledge was a little shaky (before embracing my inner nerd and diving into mundane historical stuff just so I could better understand whatever drama I was watching at the time).

I don’t think I intended to continue live-watching shows, preferring the ease of binging at my own pace and schedule. But that was when I was still a casual, innocent addict, and not someone who would eventually make dramas a huge part of her life.

2012: The Joy of Overthinking

Gaksital (KBS)

Having had a taste of live-watching, I started to live-watch enough dramas to the point where I began to make notes about the premiere weeks. It was only a couple at a time, and binging was still my preferred way to watch, but now I was delighting in being part of the fandom, sharing in speculation each week, posting my thoughts on dramas and analyzing them to my heart’s content -- even though I knew no one except me would read my ridiculous essays.

But I started to feel more comfortable sharing my opinion with the world, interacting with fandom and not merely content to be a consumer, but gradually becoming a producer as well.

Reply 1997 (tvN)

This is it. This is when I went full-on Drama Addict. This is the tipping point from casual fan who quietly kept to herself, to becoming someone who stood on the mountain top yelling about ALL THE DRAMAS ALL THE TIME. I began to interact with other fans! To swap theories and share squee-worthy moments! I even watched episodes RAW just because of how desperate I was to know what happened, and even though the Busan accent stumped me more than once, it made me realize that my casual study of Korean was something to take seriously since I understood more than I gave myself credit for.

It was also the first time any post I made got more than a handful of notes, since I’d mostly hovered in the “less than 10 notes per post” category at the time. I was so proud of myself back then!

(This drama also notably marks the start of my Hoya obsession, which continues to this day.)

2013: Tumblr Friends (and Foes)

Flower Boy Next Door (tvN)

Having made myself comfortable on tumblr as a Drama Addict, I then discovered some other dedicated fans -- many of which I still follow to this day and who are now just a permanent part of my dash, no matter what their current interests may be -- in the FBND squad.

But I also discovered Kim Seul-gi as the Webtoon Editor (who I still love and adore and continue to use as my avatar), and her adorable romance with Dong-hoon remains one of my forever OTPs. As much as I enjoyed the drama romances, I’d never fallen so deeply for one to be so obsessed by it as I was Webtoon Editor and Dong-hoon. And tbh I still am. They’re just so adorable and pragmatic and she buys him a bag. Ugh. I love her so much, you guys.

Heirs (SBS)

Ah, yes. This hot mess.

I don’t know what possessed me to live-blog each episode. But I did. With snarky commentary and terrible screencaps. And suddenly I went from maybe 200 followers to over a 1000. That was a total shock! I met a lot of people because of that (and made some friends, as well as a few enemies who didn’t appreciate my opinion of certain characters), and ensconced myself as part of the drama-blogging crew.

It was from this that someone suggested I apply to be a minion at Dramabeans. Back then, I had a lot more free time than I do now, and I was watching a lot of dramas that Dramabeans didn’t cover, and wished they did so I could read more opinions about those shows. So I thought, “Eh, why not? It can’t hurt to submit something because the worst that would happen is I’d waste their time making them read my take on episode 10 of Let’s Eat.”

I fully expected them to turn me down. No one was more surprised than I was when I found myself agreeing to dive into the world of recapping.

2014: It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

Trot Lovers (KBS)

Recapping. It seems so easy when you’re reading the recaps. But actually creating them is a bitch. Hours out of my life were spent on this disaster of a trope-laden show with no plot. This was the third show I worked on for Dramabeans, and I hated it to the point where I seriously considered handing in my notice. (Immediately following up this show with the mediocre My Secret Hotel certainly didn’t help matters!)

However, it turns out that what I actually hated was being forced to watch a terrible rom-com and pretend to come up with insightful-or-at-least-neutral thoughts about it (since we were still new and couldn’t go full-on snark yet).

Misaeng (tvN)

This is what saved me. Being given the chance to immerse myself in such a unique, ponderous, thoughtful show restored my faith in dramas and the drama community. I loved spending hours on this show, soaking up all the little details, and then sharing that love with the world.

Misaeng made dramas magical again.

2015: Fight Me

Valid Love (tvN)

Realizing that I only seemed to enjoy rom-coms at arm-length, I discovered that my tastes often ran counter to the general drama-viewing public. Not all the drama-viewing public -- I’m not a “not like other fans” kind of fan -- but enough that I began to realize the whether a drama was popular or had good buzz was not necessarily the primary reason to watch it.

I began to have more faith in my own taste, based on past experiences with various writers and directors. Even if the premise (or first couple of episodes) seemed kind of weird and out-there, I at least wanted to give these artists the benefit of the doubt that I would enjoy their work, like I had previously.

So many people seemed to hate Valid Love, but I adored it. Still do (and still desperately wish Kim Do-woo would come out with a new drama -- it has been too long, writer-nim!). There were a lot of opinions about this show, even among people who seemed to enjoy it, but I vividly recall having to repeatedly insist that it wasn’t about the romance and argue that  the knee-jerk infidelity-is-BAD opinions should make space for something more nuanced.

Ho-gu’s Love (tvN)

DramaFever was a pretty great site. It brought together so many drama fans and gave them a place where they could legally (and without fear of downloading random viruses) watch dramas to their heart’s content. Yes, there may have been some lingering resentment that they were the primary reason that so many amazing other sites were shut down (RIP mysoju and daebaeksubs), but dramas were more accessible than ever!

Eventually, DramaFever started to sub shows themselves and upload them weekly (instead of just using fansubs and uploading older dramas), and while they weren’t the best translations, they were at least better than machine translations from the Chinese subs. As I became more and more familiar with Korean, I found myself more likely to migrate to Viki since I liked the extra detailed translations. I could get the gist of a show without any help -- I wanted to instead delve into the nitty-gritty of the language.

But I never really hated DramaFever or felt they were particularly awful. Until they mistranslated something so terribly that it changed the entire meaning of a scene and ruined people’s perception of a drama, forcing me to continually defend the true translation.

That was the molehill I died on that day, and never again did I touch DramaFever. I feel bad that it eventually got unceremoniously shuttered. But I don’t think I’ll ever forgive them for the “condom” incident.

2016: Free Solo

Dear My Friends (tvN)

For two years I’d been happily working on one episode a week, sharing a show with someone else, until I was asked if I’d like to tackle a show by myself. I wasn’t sure how I could handle it, but I had the time in my schedule so I said, “Sure, why not?”

I was originally going to recap Another Oh Hae-young, but there was a last-minute switcheroo, and I’m so incredibly glad because this is perhaps my favorite recapping experience of all time, even more so than Misaeng. There was something so special about the luxury of having an entire show to myself, especially one with such a fantastic cast of characters and thoughtful themes. I didn’t have to try and figure out if I agreed with another person’s take -- it could all be my opinion.

Is that arrogant? Perhaps. But it was also therapeutic, as it reminded me once again how incredible and amazing dramas could be, and the privilege I had to share such an exquisite and thought-provoking drama with the rest of the world.

The Good Wife (tvN)

Surprisingly, this was what I had really wanted to recap that year, and the true reason I got Dear My Friends, since it aired just prior in the same time-slot as The Good Wife. I was desperate to have this show, willing to do anything to get it because I needed to see Jeon Do-yeon back on the small screen, to see Yoo Ji-tae smolder, to know how Korea would adapt such an ambitious show.

And I wasn’t disappointed! This is, perhaps, my favorite adaption of another work of art that I’ve seen in dramaland. It remained true to Korean sensibilities, but it also properly felt like The Good Wife. The cast was phenomenal. The costumes were exquisite. I wished I could spend more time in that world.

But I was also thankful, because without The Good Wife, I would have never have had Dear My Friends. 

2017: Serial-Killers Are Cool

Voice (OCN)

I can’t remember how I got assigned to this. Maybe it was a scheduling thing. I do know that I really, really wanted it, since it would be Handsome Oppa’s first drama appearance in three years.

But it started me down a road of recapping a lot of serious and serial-killer-centric shows. Except for the times when I’d beg for a break and tackle something lighter, I was generally assigned the darker mystery shows with meaty plots, since apparently I had a knack for condensing complicated shows into something that made sense. (Also literally darker, and I eventually learned to automatically brighten every screencap I posted. You’re welcome.)

Not only did I love working on something with Handsome Oppa, I also had fun recapping the start of what would eventually become OCN’s stock-in-trade -- creepy serial killers. At the time, Voice shattered OCN’s viewer ratings (which would then be shattered again and again as more people would tune in to OCN shows). But Voice really helped put OCN on the viewership map -- as well as catapult Handsome Oppa into the public eye and lead him to a path of getting to choose whatever script he wanted to work on.

(Okay, maybe I made that last bit up, but he did begin to garner a larger following and remind everyone that just because he was gone from dramaland for so long, he hadn’t lost his acting chops -- or charisma -- or cheekbones.)

Black (OCN)

Oh, this show. It was basically my whole life while it was airing (well, the non-day-job part of my life). Each episode was over an hour long and jam-packed full of details that were pertinent to the story, and I had to somehow condense that all into 3000 words or less (I was not always, ah, successful...). It felt like I was back in recapping bootcamp, but the dial had been turned up to 11.

I’m weirdly proud of what I produced (although you’ll never get me to reread my old work). It was one of the most challenging shows to work on, but in the good way, not the Trot Lovers way.

Until the ending, that is. Sigh. That ending will live in infamy. I still, to this day, will get a few comments on the finale from people who watched it on Netflix, went searching online for an explanation of the end, and then discovered that they were not alone in being confused by the utter wtf-ery of the last twenty minutes.

2018: Fighting For My Love

Misty (JTBC)

So, Dramabeans kind of disappeared for a few months. Well, the site was still live. There were a handful of recaps. But... it basically just... stopped. 

Those of us on the other side know about as you do as to why that happened. Minions are kept in the dark just as much as anybody, it seems. All we knew is that we weren’t being assigned anything and we seriously wondered if the site was going under, since adsense has become worthless these days.

But Mary and I kept talking about how much we adored Misty and were sad that we couldn’t talk about it with the world (and convince them to watch it with us), so we pleaded and begged and got the go-ahead to do a kind of chatty “open thread” which has apparently been a spring-board format for other shows. We didn’t get paid for this, and we were totally fine with that. We just wanted to provide some kind of content (while swooning over Kim Nam-joo’s pantsuits!).

Let’s Eat 3 (tvN)

This was my first real assignment after the dead period, and I once again got to do full recaps (with pay!). I started watching, thinking I’d merely tolerate the show (since I loved the first season vastly more than the second season), but it turned out to be my favorite of the three. Plus it felt fortuitous that the series I had submitted my application would be a series I’d work on four years later.

Sometimes it’s nice to spend time with a character you met years ago, to see them grow, to see how they became what they became. Drama trends (and love interests) will come and go, but Goo Dae-young’s love of food (and love of explaining the proper way to eat food) will never change. It was a really comforting drama for me to spend my summer on, and I’ll remember it fondly, even if I’m forever sad that it had to suddenly wrap-up two episodes early.

2019: Ten Years Later

Item (MBC)

This was the Trot Lovers of 2019. It was a nonsensical disaster.

I also had the added chaos of my real-life job -- one very different from the one I had when I was working on Trot Lovers -- as it began to increase exponentially in responsibilities and in stress. I reached a breaking point where I began to hate opening my computer where I’d have to spend hours attempting to explain a show that I wanted nothing to do with. I was miserable and depressed and couldn’t do it anymore. I never before asked to be taken off a show because I hated it so much, but there’s a first for everything.

Her Private Life (tvN)

I actually haven’t finished this show -- I’ve yet to watch the last two episodes. But I’m including it because, well, I didn’t finish any other show in 2019 except for Item.

As some of you may know, this has been a difficult year. It started with the unexpected stress of my job, when we suddenly lost one of our directors who passed away, and another director was let go (in a complicated situation that is ongoing, but the important thing is that it was during our busiest time when we really couldn’t afford to lose anyone), and another director left for a different job and I was basically the one to pick up all the pieces she left behind. It was exhausting and we were all past the breaking point but somehow miraculously holding it together.

I was looking forward to finally getting a much-needed vacation in September, and then, well, you all know how that went: the first night, on our layover in New Zealand before what was supposed to be three weeks in Australia, my father was taken to the hospital, and then, two days later, he passed away. Life has gotten even more chaotic and stressful and bizarre since then.

So no, I haven’t finished this drama, but it was one of the most wonderful moments of the year for me, watching this fizzy rom-com with my favorite actor, where he got to be charming and handsome and charismatic and finally kiss the girl he loves and have her love him back (and not die or be dumped, as he had been in so many dramas that had gone before). Lion Oppa was everything my heart could desire, and living in his world helped me endure the insanity that I wish I’d known would seem so much more tolerable than what would eventually befall.

Her Private Life reminded me of when I first fell in love with dramas ten years ago, when I would giggle and be delighted by the charming nonsense on screen -- of beautiful people falling in love and fighting against the obstacles between them (some more ridiculous than others, perhaps, but there are always obstacles), and ending up happily ever after. Pure escapism, of the frothiest kind.

A Drama-filled Decade

So, after ten years of dramas, what is the takeaway? What have I learned?

I suppose I’ve learned to trust my instincts and put more faith in writers and directors than actors. That analyzing dramas is fun, and it’s even more fun sharing it with others, and sometimes even more fun if you get paid to do it -- but everyone eventually reaches a breaking point. That I’m too earnest and optimistic to embrace a life of snark. That I want every drama to be good but most of them aren’t, except sometimes they are. That I’m not even sure which genres are my favorite; I just know what I don’t like.

That dramas are best as escapism, and not as work.

I don’t know how many dramas I’ll watch in 2020. I haven’t paid any attention to what’s airing, and I’m okay with that. Perhaps I’m entering a new phase in my life, or perhaps I just don’t have the capacity to escape right now.

But I am pleased to have had dramas in my life, and to have eventually made them my hobby. I’ve met a lot of amazing people and made some genuine friends through a shared love of dramas (or, at times, a shared hatred). I’m honored that all of you are still here and following me, even during this period of fandom silence.

May 2020 treat us all better, and may Kim Do-woo finally write another script.

[incorrectquotes-randomthoughts]

(This is so long I’m sorry but I had to rant cause honestly I’m scared )

I literally made a post the other day about how we have to welcome in new fans and treat them equally but truth be told? I’M. NOT. FUCKING. READY

Bitch bitch bitch I mean I’mma have to stand this kids hardcore shipping Luke x Annabeth ???? Or Luke x Thalia ???? SIS they’re SIBLINGS wth Annabeth realized it later on it changed there was an arc.

Like this fandom closed the discussion on Luke’s redemption arc and the way he is and his motives we agree we have opinions but we’re FINE. Are you telling me ma boy is gonna be played by some hot teen (he is older) and 12 y/o’s are gonna be biased and I’m gonna have to yell at them across a screen cause they’re gonna act like Luke is a saint !!!!??

THE SHIPS. FUCKFUCKFUCK. BoTL Percy spent worried about Nico and if it’s done properly we’re gonna have all that worry face first and no one’s gonna be able to ignore it like the AMOUNT OF PEOPLE who are gonna say that’s OTP. I mean SHIT.

I haven’t even been in the [internet] fandom for that long like how I’m I supposed to go against this people who were here before me I mean they LEFT but what arguments do I have !?!?

The amount of people who only read pjo and went BYE like I can’t bring HOO up in discussions wdym????? How I’m I supposed to talk development and change and character arcs and what would they do in certain situations if you’ve never heard of them ????

I’M NOT READY

Y’all wanna know something terrifying? The maze runner fandom. Because there’s so little creators out there who actually love it the way I do and so much of it is obsessed with Thomas Brodie-Sangster and Newt I haven’t been there since I finished the books I couldn’t stand it. And I can’t stand the fact that our Percy actor is gonna be good-looking and I’m TERRIFIED of the amount of people who are gonna be here for what the actors look like you can’t understand this.

I MEAN all them debates are coming back up I can’t do this. This is such a fantastic fandom (and I’m in many, trust me) like we’re all at peace there’s no arguments you can literally come by and just vibe.

OH FUCK ANOTHER THOUGHT. So since we’re getting official characters and stuff I swear if ONE IDIOT hates on viria’s or Livibis’ or Markiehh’s art (they’re the one’s at the top of my head) because it’s “inaccurate” or “far off” from what they look on screen they better watch the fuck out because they have no idea the fandom they’re messing with.

OH AND SHIT I know this has been brought up but the way we treat Nico??? All baby and soft and all that and how our fanon Nico is just so different from the actual canon kick-ass Nico, ya know? But we kinda understand how powerful Nico is but we still love him cause poor kid was 10 and then all of it happened and he was 13/14 (?) during tlo and the PTSD so we’re chill with that BUT. There’s the fact that our son is gay and god the amount of people who are gonna come in (cause there’s obviously gonna be foreshadowing) and be like “ooh gay baby look at him” that’s badly explained but I know you guys understand. And specially if we get to HoO and the horrors getting to ToA would be. Like we already have our fanon Nico but if someone DARES to even IMPLY that Nico can’t kill you with a thought the entire fandom know better and will prove them wrong. But the new fans what would they know.

You know what’s going to be fucking horrible ???? PARENTS. I mean UGHHHHHH. My parents only know I’m reading what I tell them I’m reading (“a book about Greek mythology”). Like I’m terrified of my mom picking up The Burning Maze sitting on my desk or any Cassandra Clare book cause the homophobia in this household is astronomical. (Don’t know how many of you will understand but the PANIC I went through reading the red scrolls of magic? God knows she would check every book I get form the library from the on) Back to the point sorry. But y’all pjo is mostly safe but Rick already talks about how parents complain about adding a Genderfluid character to a Norse mythology book (I mean Ma’am go educate yourself) and how his books “would be more successful without [gay] characters” ???? What if we get Kane Chronicles some asshole is gonna come up about Sadie being polyamorous, Alex and Magnus are gonna be a problem, Will and Nico, House of Hades is gonna make Karens riot because of one scene.

You can see how Disney treats Seblos (hsmtmts) compared to the other couples on the show. You can see how not even half of Andi Mack is actually on Disney+ (after getting brutally canceled) you can see how Diary of a Future President hasn’t been renewed when it’s reviews are 100% for both critics and public. How the Love, Simon series was removed (now on Hulu) because it wasn’t a good mix with “the family-friendly content on Disney+” (underage drinking + s*x are brought up in discussions but the show isn’t out yet and we have no idea). So pardon me for being scared of how this is going to be treated.

Back to the new fans. I’m gonna say the topic that’s the most brought up that causes discussions is Leo (?) Tbh I’m still lost on the Leo x Echo thing that everyone else seems to understand. Plus the hate on Caleo is probably the biggest issue in this fandom. (Which is like saying the biggest problem in a perfectly written essay are some barely noticeable erase-marks, but still). Anyways a fair amount of people dislike Leo for reasons I kinda comprehend. I know a kid and he’s the exact definition of Leo, (I’ll probably talk about this in an individual post) and people don’t like him, I know most of you would avoid him. I know he’s great but people just don’t seem to like him.

(wOw i’M sO gOOd aT sTaYInG oN tOpiC)

I don’t think I’m gonna be able to survive hate on characters that probably WILL come.

Solangelo is called rushed a lot and I would want to see this two fall for each other and Nico let down his walls and talk about his PTSD from Tartarus (which friendly reminder Percy saw for a few minutes the way Nico saw it the whole time and it was the worst part of his entire experience there). But I mean there WERE six months between BoO and ToA, I am pretty sad we didn’t get to see them.

oH JESUS follow-up on Nico earlier; the fetishization, or Apollo, or Will.

Ok... ha, this is fun....

OH WAIT NEW THOUGHT SJDJDJD On the topic of Luke’s redemption arc... BIANCA,, they better do my girl properly who thought she had stayed months at the Lotus Hotel babysitting her lil’ brother and then was put into a school where they were outcasts and she probably knows as much as Nico about mythomagic from his rants and she thought he was gonna be safe and she wanted freedom and be her own person so she joined the hunters. And as a fandom we’ve talked this out but what about the new fans, they better not try to act like she did anything wrong cause that’s just not-

OH AND no one better hate on Clarisse cause yeah she’s the minor antagonist but she’s a very well-written character who doesn’t change the way she is but is kinda less of an ass towards Percy. And she and Silena are good friends and she and Chris are dating and she is a human being with valid feelings. She was terrified for Chris in BoTL and cared for him and nurse him back to sanity and stayed with him. She throws Percy and Annabeth into the lake which so it’s prove she and Percy are more in the friendly banter I-won’t-admit-how-much-I-care-for-you-if-it-meant-my-life relationship. Then this doesn’t happpen until the last two books (seasons?) so we can’t actually go around saying it? In SoM we learn about how Ares treats her which is SO important so I guess S1 comes out and we sit here telling new fans “You’ll know next season” cause we can’t directly spoil it and then we’re like “You gotta wait for seasons 4 and 5” ugghhhhh this is too much.

Ok I’m done for now I’ll reblog this with any new terrifying thoughts when if they come.

[elsewhereuniversity]

Elsewhere University Brochure

This is set within the world of @elsewhereuniversity as created by the Tumblr user @charminglyantiquated. I also have this piece posted on my Tumblr blog @miss-tallulah.

* * *

Autumn Summers was a first year. She didn’t know where her classes were, her iron and silver stash was practically none existent and she hadn’t come up with a safe name yet. So just normal first year things, however, the other students had had the privilege of going through all this together, they had mistakenly given each other their real names, learned the hard way the necessity of carrying iron or silver and of course got lost the first few weeks of the semester.

Autumn was late. It was a month into the semester and her fellow freshmen had already formed bonds and established routines.

Autumn pulled her suitcase behind her as she walked down the corridor, watching the numbers on the doors grow higher and higher. Her arm was burning from the effort of carrying her bag up five flights and she could feel beads of sweat dripping down her neck. It wasn’t exactly how she wanted her roommates to first see her. The fact that they were all strangers to her and all already knew each other was scary enough, but they were all second years and that made it so much worse. Autumn still wasn’t exactly sure why she had to dorm with them and not other freshmen, she hadn’t been given an explanation.

She finally drew to a stop outside room 444, and an inexplicable shiver ran through her as if someone or something had run an icy finger done her spine. She closed her eyes, steadying her nerves for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and turning the doorknob (which was of course made of iron).

Inside she was greeted with chaos.

“How many times have I told you to knock?” Yelled a girl wrapped in nothing but a very small towel. She was still dripping water and there was shampoo in her mane of braids. She clutched a pillow in her hand as she towered over a boy on the ground with such ferocity it might have been a battle axe.

“Not so loud, my head is pounding,” the boy complained, wincing. His voice was hoarse and he looked like someone who had only just stumbled back into his dorm, despite it being 09:00 am.

“Not so loud? Not so loud? I’ll show you fucking loud-”

“Babe, come on, he’s got a hangover,” a second girl cut in. She was smaller and had honey coloured hair and looked extremely unimpressed.

“And whose fault is that? He’s been out partying every night this week! He needs to reign it in.”

“Yeah, he does, but Jax isn’t here to help him anymore, so cut him some slack,” the smaller girl said and the change in the atmosphere of the room was sudden and palpable.

“I’m going to finish my shower,” the dark-skinned girl muttered after a long pause, dropping the pillow before leaving.

Autumn wondered whether she should leave and pretend she hadn’t seen anything, but just as she was moving to close the door as quietly as she could the smaller girl caught sight of her. Her face broke into a smile so genuine that had Autumn not seen annoyance moments before would have believed, or perhaps she was just the kind of girl whose moods could change easily between one moment and the next.

“You must be our new roomie! Welcome to the North Dorm, my safe name’s Honey.”

Autumn took a tentative step into the room but the mood inside had shifted. With the pillow girl gone and the boy passed out on the couch, the room seemed far more approachable.

“Safe name?” Autumn asked.

“Yeah, you know, so people have something to call me.”

“Doesn’t your name work for that?”

Honey looked horrified.

“Of course not! Didn’t you read the brochure?” At Autumn’s blank look Honey sighed, “you’re going to want to read that. This place isn’t like most universities. There’s a lot of things you’re going to have to learn the hard way but your name doesn’t have to be one of them. Never give it to anyone. Ever. So you’re going to have to come up with a safe name instead. Too many freshmen are unprepared for that.”

“That’s why the acceptance rate is so high at Elsewhere University. They know most of them won’t make it past first year.” Pillow Girl was back, but she was dry and clothed and looked calmer. “Hi, I go by Babe.”

“Hi, nice to meet you. I don’t know what I go by yet.” Autumn said and Babe shrugged.

“No worries. You’re luckier than most freshmen, you’ve got us, we’re the ones who made it to our second year. There’s plenty of useful information in the brochure but we’ve got better. By your second year, your classmates will be down to less than half. The first semester usually gets rid of the students who aren’t legacies or who didn’t grow up in a place where the veil is thin.”

Autumn was neither. She was beginning to think that maybe she should have studied closer to home like her mother had suggested. Then again, Babe did have a point, Autumn was dorming with students who had survived their first year, whatever that actually meant. Then Autumn had a horrible thought, this was a dorm that was meant to accommodate four.

“Was there... Was there someone else staying here before me?” She asked hesitantly. Babe lowered her eyes.

“He went by Jax,” Honey said, casting a worried look at Babe, “he was Ham’s cousin, Ham’s the idiot passed out on the couch. Jax always wanted to explore the courts, he always spoke about going on adventures and it looks like he finally left.”

“Yeah, he got his adventure,” Babe said bitterly, “without so much as a goodbye,”

Babe stood and excused herself, saying something about finishing an assignment.

“Babe and Jax were basically a couple before he... left.” Honey explained in a hushed voice. “It’s a good thing the changeling couldn’t come and stay with us, I think that would be more than she could bear.”

“Changeling?” Autumn asked.

“Fair folk that takes the place of students after they’ve gone on adventures or go missing. They use glamours and continue the life of the student so no red flags are raised and if the student comes back they can slip back into their life as if they’ve never left. At least it’ll be like that for people they know outside the university, most of the students will be wary of them for a time. Anyway, Jax’s changeling couldn’t come live here because of all the iron in the architecture, the North Dorm is probably one of the safest places on campus, which is probably why you were put here, having missed orientation and the general acclamation of this place.”

“Oh,” was all Autumn could think to say.

“It’ll get easier I promise,” Honey smiled and Autumn gave a weak one in response. “So I’ve got an essay due today that I haven’t started so I’m going to the Library to try and maybe gain some extra hours.”

Honey left and Autumn was alone again (well besides Ham on the coach). Autumn sat at an armchair by a big window. She sat and stared out for a long time. There was so much information to process. Her breathing started coming out in short gasps. It was too much, too fast all at once. She needed to... She needed to.... What did she need to do? She closed her eyes to calm her nerves. She felt her heart slow from it’s frantic beating, then she opened her eyes and took a deep breath before rifling through her bag until she found what she needed.

Autumn Summers was a first year. She didn’t know where her classes were, her iron and silver stash was practically none existent and she hadn’t come up with a safe name yet. But she was going to learn, and she was going to make it to graduation. She held the Elsewhere University Brochure in her hands and began to read.

x

[katandabbieslife]

Please stand up for yourself... Also small update...

Hi everyone, this is Abbie. Just thought I’d wish everyone a late Happy New Year and I hope you all had a great Holiday, whichever you celebrate. I also want to let you know I am working on the update I promised back in August. We both got hammered with School this past semester and things got way busier than expected. After writing papers and essays for school, it’s hard to sit down and write more. I know that’s no excuse, but god you guys, it’s gets hard to do sometimes. We’re both trying really hard to get back here and post more. Kat has even thought of something new to try, but more on that after I get the really big update out of the way. On a more serious note, I want to talk about something that happened to me on New Years Eve. Since we were back on the farm for Winter Break, Kats parents were having a New Years Eve party for some friends and clients. Kat and I decided to go to their party for a while and have some fun. Kats mom and dad were great hosts and nearly brought me to tears a few times when introducing Kat and I. They called us ”Their girls” or referring to me as “my/our future daughter in law”. One woman told Katherine “I thought I saw your son with his arm around another girl?” and Katherine told her “Oh, that’s Jessica. This is Abbie, My Daughters future wife.” It made me so happy I almost squealed multiple times. The serious part happened when I was walking around, mingling with several of the family friends I’ve met over the past couple years. I was standing and watching the celebration that was on the TV, enjoying my wine and I felt someone grab my ass and give it a squeeze. First thought was Kat, then I realized that hand was quite a bit bigger so I pulled away thinking it was Rick. As I turned, I saw a larger, balding man in his 60’s maybe? He had a smile on his face and just said “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” As he pointed to another woman about 15 feet away who was close to a foot taller than me.How are you going to confuse a girl the size of a child for a woman who is 5′7″ to 5′9″? He just kept smiling and staring at me and never apologized, just a piss poor excuse. I just told him it was ok and I moved away as quickly as I could. I wasn’t sure who he was, I just knew that everyone was either a client or a family friend and I didn’t want to cause any trouble so I just kept my mouth shut. As many of you know, I’ve been the cause for so much drama in my life. I avoided the guy the rest of the night and after midnight, I told Kat I was ready to go home. We invited Rick and Jess over to our house to party some more and I told Kat on the way home what had happened. Kat was furious and yelling, not at me, but at the situation, She told me I should have told her mom and dad and I told her I did not want to cause trouble or ruin the party. I didn’t know who the guy was and the last thing I wanted to do was cost their business money. Kat slammed on the brakes and we slid to a stop and she was getting ready to throw it in reverse and go back to the party and raise hell. I convinced her not to and she apologized for being loud and put her arm around me for comfort. She told me I should stand up for myself and I told her I know, but again, that I did not want to cause trouble. I guess I’m used to being treated like crap by men, I mean hell, I have been my whole life. My Dad, boys in school, even boys in high school cheated on me, I was physically abused a few times, Freshman year of college was hell. Shutting up and dealing with it my own silent way has been my go to for shitty things for so long. Anyway, we got home, grabbed wine, and a bottle of Vodka and went to the hot tub. About 15 minutes later, we heard Rick and Jessica pull up out front. Kat texted to let them know we were out back in the hot tub and we spent the night drinking, smoking, and just having a good time. The next morning, we went over to Kat’s parents and had Breakfast before going for a ride. I was eating and Kat finished and went to the bathroom. She didn’t come back for a few minutes and then I heard her step in the room behind us and ask her dad “Can you come here for a minute daddy?” I could hear them talking but not what they were talking about and after about 5 minutes, I heard him yell “Katherine, Abbie, can you come here for a minute?” We had no idea what was going on and we stepped into the hallway and then into his office. Kat was sitting in his chair behind the desk and he was standing next to her with both hands on the desk and his head hanging down. As I stepped in, he walked over and put his arms around me and apologized, telling me he was so sorry I had to experience that and that it would be dealt with. Katherine was as confused as I was and asked “What’s going on? What happened?” and he turned the monitor around to show the security camera footage from the night before. They have cameras in the dining room/kitchen/ family room area where the main part of the party took place. Kat had searched the footage for the old man who groped me the night before. Katherine watched and then “Did he…? Oh that fucking son of a bitch! How could he?” I’d never heard Kat’s mom use such strong language before, usually only shit and damn. She immediately hugged me and asked why I didn’t say anything last night and I explained I didn’t want to cause drama for them since I was kind of the outsider. I saw tears start to form in her eyes as she told me I was family, I belonged to them now. I’m as much family as anyone that was there the night before, and that made me feel so good.   Kats parents said the guy was not a real close friend and that they could do without lecherous old men like that at their parties anyway. They called him to let him know that the young woman he “felt up” at their party was their daughter in law and that he owed me an apology and he was no longer welcome on their property. I never got the apology, but the way Kat’s parents treated me made me feel so loved and so much a part of their family. I had a big smile on my face and tears in my eyes. They both know my history and told me to never keep anything like this from them again. They told me to remember I’m not the little 8 year old girl anymore and that I should never be afraid to let someone know when I’ve feel my personal space has been violated. By this time, Kat was behind me, arms wrapped around me with her chin resting on my shoulder, occasionally kissing my neck. My whole point for this post is to let anyone who might need it to know, please, doesn’t be stupid like I was. Do not keep your mouth shut and stay quiet if you ever feel like you’ve been violated in any way. Make yourself heard, let people know what happened and hopefully they won’t do it to someone else. If you are a follower that’s reading this, thank you for sticking around. I’m sorry we’re not as active as we once were. We’re going to try to get back to it and be more active. The current update/story I am working on will explain why we’ve been so busy and might also help you understand why we started strong and then faded. Please stand by for the new story soon’ish. -Abbie

[minhoslut]

♡ summary: Y/N is a fairy in a world of magic hating humans, who moves into a house with seven young men after being kicked out of her old dorm. She learns about all their secrets while hiding hers for as long as she can. Lots of parties, games, sex and maybe even love.

♡ pairing: ot7 x fem!reader, fem!reader x various idols

♡ chapter: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | ? |

♡ series warnings: alcohol consumption, blood mention, drug use, mxm, fxf, threesome, foursome, orgy, swearing, anxiety, depression, past trauma, past abuse

♡ series genre: fluff, smut, slight angst

♡ series rating: R

♡ word count: 2530

♡ posted on: AO3

♡ chapter three: closer

Groaning, you stretched your body as you woke up, soft sunlight dripping into the room. Slipping on a floor length, silk, black robe  with slight puff sleeves, you exited the room and made your descent. Jungkook and Taehyung were in the kitchen and looked like they were going to choke when they saw you. “What’s wrong?” You questioned, eyebrows raised in confusion. “You just, look nice, is all…” “Oh. Well thank you! I like this robe quite a bit and the slip makes my figure look nice!” You shot them a smile, “If it makes you uncomfortable, I can change?” “NO!” They both basically yelled at the mere thought of you changing. “I mean, no, you look good and if you are comfortable with it so are we, just, tell us if anything we say is too much?” “Oh for sure, though I’m not to shy with any of that stuff, and you all seem like good people.” The boys seemed to relax at your words and you smiled again, heading to the kettle to make tea.

You chatted with the two as you sipped your drink, the rest of the boys slowly joining you at the table, each with their own reaction to your outfit. You told them all the same thing and it seemed to make them feel more comfortable. You were excited that they seemed to adapt fairly quickly to your somewhat odd personality, it warmed your heart, but you knew you couldn’t put your full trust in them. It had blown up in your face the last time, and you didn’t feel like going through that again. Pushing the memory away, you tuned back into the conversation.

“Me, Jin and Tae have class on campus today so someone else has to make food!” Hoseok said. “Not Namjoon, he sucks!” “Says you Jungkook!” “I can cook you guys.” You said laughing. “Really??” Jimin looked at you with the biggest puppy eyes you’d ever seen. “Yes, I’m not the best but I was the one in charge of food in my old dorm.” “You’ve saved us all.” Yoongi said sending you a smile. “So what do you guys want anyway?” “Uh… Anything you make is better than whatever we would’ve made.” “How about salmon and egg fried rice?” “That sounds soo good (Y/N).” Jimin all but moaned, “It’s a plan then!”

“By the way (Y/N), do you have any on campus classes?” “Nope! I don’t like campus.” You said making a face, you found it incredibly boring to sit through classes, especially since you didn’t even need them really. “Lucky~” Jungkook whined, “Mine are so boring.” “How else would we meet anyone to invite to parties then?” Jin said shaking his head. “I guess, but it still sucks dick.” Jungkook grumbled back. Hoseok clapped his hands, “Ok idiots, we have to go now so don’t destroy the house!” You all exchanged goodbyes and then they were off down the road in Hoseoks car.

The remaining four and yourself dispersed to get dressed, you opted to shower first and gathered your clothes before heading into the bathroom. It was more modern than your bedroom, brown tiles lining the floor, a glass shower and a big tub beside the window. It fit your taste perfectly . Stripping out of your robe and slip, you stepped under the warm water of the shower, a sigh leaving your lips. You were very connected to all the elements and being enveloped in them was always pleasurable. You washed your white locks and exfoliated your body, you briefly considered masturbating quickly, but you weren’t good at keeping quiet so you settled against it. You dried your body with a quick spell and wrapped your hair in a towel, slipped on a black t-shirt dress  with a pink decal that looked like angel wings on it, and some knee high black socks.

Back downstairs, you curled up on the couch with your laptop, begrudgingly writing an essay for one of the stupid human classes you were in. At some point Jimin joined you with a laptop of his own, and Namjoon sat opposite reading a book. You assumed Jungkook was still in his room and Yoongi was definitely in his, you could hear the soft beats of music coming from above you. Around 5pm you stretched and removed yourself from the couch, heading into the kitchen to begin making dinner. “Do you mind if I put music on Jimin?” You called to the black haired boy on the couch, “Nope, go ahead!” You shuffled the music on your phone and danced to the beat as you cooked, singing sometimes to songs that you knew by heart. “I really like it but it’s too late, Too bad, it’s already 12. What to do? It’s already 12.” Chunghas ‘Gotta Go’ made you want to dance, so you did as best you could while still cooking.

Just as you finished putting the dishes on the table, Jin, Hoseok and Taehyung came through the door. “It smells so good~” Taehyung called dumping his bag and skipping to the table, “I’ll grab the others!” Jimin called running up the stairs. Once everyone was seated you all served yourselves, “So how were classes?” “Soooo boring. I wanted to come home the second I got their.” Jin whined, the other two nodded in agreement and you giggled at their despair. “Don’t you all have only like, one on campus class?” “Yes and?” Jungkook said, “You have zero so you get no opinion!” Taehyung stated, you just rolled your eyes and laughed again.

Namjoon and Yoongi did the dishes when everyone had finished their food, “Thank you for cooking such yummy food for us (Y/N)!” Jungkook said, surprising you with a hug from behind. “Yah! Don’t be so touchy!” Jimin smacked Jungkooks arm. “It’s fine! I love skinship, and I’ll tell you if I’m uncomfortable, don't worry.” Jungkook stuck his tongue out at Jimin and continued to nuzzle into you from behind, Jimin just shook his head and went upstairs. Taehyung joined the hug so you were now sandwiched between the two, it was nice and warm and they smelled so good. “Guys~ Lemme go.” Immediately freed from their embrace, you blew them each a kiss and ran upstairs.

Your heart was beating fast in your chest as you hurried to your room. It was like they were trying to make you lose it on purpose, holding you like that. You wanted to kiss them both then and there but it was still too early and you didn’t feel like using a spell to make everyone who had been downstairs forget about it, that was too much work. One day you would get them but for now it was too soon, you didn’t want them to feel awkward. Stuff like that never bothered you, but humans were always acting weird after something sexual happened between friends or roommates.

Sighing, you threw your dress off and pulled on a black one piece swimsuit with cross straps on the back, and high cut sides . A black sheer long-sleeved beach cover up  and you made your way to the pool, surprised to find Jin sitting on the deck with his laptop. “Studying in the dark?” You called as you walked over to the lounge chair beside him, sitting down and catching his gaze. “(Y/N)! A late night swim?” He gestured to your attire, “Yup~” You popped the ‘p’ and smiled at him, he returned it with his own and his eyes twinkled.  He is really stunning. You thought, studying his sharp features, “Like what you see~” He teased. “Yes, you’re very handsome.” You cooed back to him, giggling at his taken aback expression.

Tossing your cover on the chair, you dip a foot in the pool. Perfect. You smile to yourself and lower your body into the pool, swimming to the bottom once you had submerged. The water was like the best friend you never had, always there when you needed it, never judging. Resurfacing, you brushed the wet hair out of your face and stared at the sun setting in the sky. Beauty was everywhere, surrounding this house and living inside it, you were happy with your decision to move in here. The boys were all welcoming and fun to be around, not to mention how you had made some progress in the physical department.

Diving back down you swam along the bottom, twisting your body about in the water, relishing in its embrace. You weren’t sure how long you swam for, but when you decided to get out, the sky was dark and full of stars. “Pretty~” You murmured, watching the moon as you squeezed water from your hair, a towel was wrapped around your shoulders and you turned to see Namjoon. “Thanks.” “No problem, I saw you forgot to grab one.” He winked at you then headed into the house, it seemed Jin had disappeared inside as well while you were swimming. Pulling the towel tight around your body, you walked into the house and up to your room.

Peeling your damp swimsuit off, you changed into a cute silk, baby blue shorts romper, that had white lace on the bottom . You slipped under your sheets, and scrolled on your phone for a minute, but soft moaning distracted you. A deep moan was coming from the room next to yours, as you listened closer another slightly higher pitched moan was mixing with the low one. You bit your lip and tuned your hearing into the room, thanking the universe for giving you the ability. Your hand slipped between your legs and you rubbed your clit slowly, the moans next door were delicious. Inserting one, then two, then three fingers you pumped faster as the moans got louder and more unwound, you shoved your other fingers in your mouth to keep the moans down and for the choking sensation.  

Judging by the heavy and excessive moaning whoever it was in the next room was getting close and you clenched your walls tight, finishing at what you assumed was the same time as them. You breathed heavily and removed your hands from you pussy and mouth, licking your own juices off and flicking off the lights. You felt a bit bad for tuning into them, but you had been able to hear them regardless. Not like you could apologize anyway, without seeming crazy. Sighing, you fluffed your pillow and let sleep take you.

~

Sun on your face woke you in the morning, rubbing your eyes and getting out of the sheets, you made your bed with a quick wave of your hand. Downstairs at the bar, sat Yoongi and Jungkook drinking coffee. “Morning~” You sang as you walked over to them, sitting on a bar stool beside Yoongi. “Good morning (Y/N)!” Jungkook returned your greeting while Yoongi just nodded his head. “You two are up early?” “Class.” Yoongi mumbled, sipping his drink. “Oh boo, that’s no fun.” You pouted at them and Jungkook ruffled your hair, “It must be done though, gotta let people know about Friday~” “Oh? What’s Friday?” Your curiosity piqued. “Your welcome party! Time for you to experience your first one here.” You couldn’t contain your joy and jumped up to hug Jungkook. “I’m so excited!! This is gunna be so fun!”

“What’s gunna be fun?” Namjoon asked sleepily as he came down the stairs followed by Jimin. “I told her about the party.” “Oh, I’m glad you’re so pumped! Me and Jimin are going to the liquor store after lunch to get supplies.” “Can I come?” You asked making your eyes big and round. “Yeah, for sure.” Jimin said sliding onto the barstool you had been sitting at minutes ago. You walked over to the cupboard and reached for the box of froot loops on the top, stepping on your tiptoes to try and reach. A warm body pressed up against your back as Jungkook grabbed the box for you, “You’re a little shorty too, huh? Jimin you aren’t the shortest anymore!”

“Hey~” You whined, “I’m not short! You guys are just too tall.” Grumbling, you poured your cereal as the four laughed at your complaining. “Let’s go Yoongi, can’t be late.” Jungkook called hopping off his stool and and tugging the older boy with him. “Have fun at school.” You mocked, sticking your tongue out at Jungkook and stealing his now empty seat. Namjoon sat at the bar with you and Jimin and ate his toast, while the two of you ate your cereal, exchanging conversation.

After putting your bowl in the dishwasher, you headed upstairs to pick your outfit, and bumped into Taehyung on the stairs. As you lost your balance when you bumped into him, he was now holding your waist to keep you steady. “G’Morning (Y/N)~” He purred, not letting you go. “Morning Taehyung, did you sleep well?” “Mhm. You?” “Very well~ I’ll see you in a bit I’ve gotta get dressed.” He pouted but released his hold, you giggled and blew him a kiss as you skipped up the stairs.

The heat of his hands lingered on your waist as you searched your drawers. We may have found our first target. White fishnets underneath ripped blue jeans and a cropped long sleeved white shirt fit your mood  for the day. Leaving your room you linked arms with hoseok, who was looking very sleepy and confused, on the second floor and the two of you entered the kitchen. Jin was up now too and Namjoon seemed to have disappeared somewhere. The 3 boys were dressed casually in jeans and various coloured shirts, but they fit just right and hugged all the right spots. They seemed to make anything look good, which was frustrating to say the least.

Grabbing your laptop and heading out on the deck, you settled in one of the lounge chairs and worked on some school things, just enjoying the sounds of nature from the woods behind the house. “(Y/N)~ It’s lunch time~” Taehyung sang from the doorway, “Mmk, be right there!” You closed your laptop, satisfied with what you had gotten done and followed Taehyung inside. “Yum, something smells good!” “Why thank you, I made grilled cheese for lunch.” Jin said smiling at you as you sat down at the table.

The boys joined you and everyone began to eat, cheese melted perfectly on the bread. “How do you make everything so perfect!” Jimin moaned as he ate. “I’m just a man of many, many talents.” Jin laughed. “Any specific requests from the liquor store?” Namjoon questioned the group. “Strawberry soju!” Hoseok suggested, “Oh and vodka.” “Get a rose, too.” Jin chimed in.

“Alright, strawberry soju, vodka and rose, you two are with me so you can decide there.” You and Jimin nodded in agreement.

When everyone finished, you cleared the table, insisting it was your turn. Once everything was tidied up, you and Namjoon followed Jimin out to his car. Namjoon sat in the back, telling you to sit up front with Jimin. When you had all settled in and buckled up, Jimin started the engine and you were on your way4

[maxhoemo]

To Hell and Back: Can’t Keep a Good Boy Down p4

Maxy sat crying at the kitchen counter. Sitting in a stool, his head down and rested in his hands. It was a frustrated type of crying. He was so hungry. He hated it here. Hated his life. He thought being with Ian would make him happy, and it did, but everything else was unbearable. He’d dropped out of university last week. It was too difficult. He’d always thought he was pretty bright, but as the semester went on everything became harder and harder. He was handed failure after failure on his essays and tests. One day, he just gave up. Ian would make enough money for the both of them once he graduated, he figured. He reasoned to himself he could just spend the time being supportive and helping Ian get through it.

But then he did something stupid. He went shopping. He really didn’t intend to spend so much, but everything was just so cute and he rationalized that he deserved a little something. And before he knew it, he’d drained his account. He thought about going back and returning it, but for some reason. he just couldn’t. But he didn’t even want to wear any of it now. He just shoved it all in a closet, hoping Ian wouldn’t find it.

He was starving. He and Ian were paying so much in rent they had practically nothing left over for groceries. The other apartments must be insanely expensive because they paid well over 2000 dollars a month and their place was less to be desired. In fact, it was downright terrifying. If Maxy wasn’t with Ian, he was harassed every time he entered the building. Sometimes they even grabbed him and Maxy was sure sooner or later it would escalate. He just wanted to support Ian. To be a good boyfriend to him. But he didn’t even have anything to cook for him besides a package of ramen noodles. And having spent his entire student loan, they probably wouldn’t make rent this month. At that moment, Maxy truly hated himself.

He wiped his tears, staring at the wall for several minutes. This was no way to live. But things would get better. Ian just had to make it through school. That’s what Maxy kept telling himself. He got up and put some water in a pot and set it to boil. If this was what they had to eat, this was what they had to eat. He sighed.

As he was waiting for the stove to heat up, Ian came home. 

“Hi baby. How was school?”

“It’s hard. I can’t focus on my work....”

Maxy frowned. He knew why that was. Ian wasn’t eating enough. “I’m sorry....” Maxy whispered.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I’m a drain on your resources.”

“Stop it. Don’t say that,” Ian threw his coat down onto the couch. “I just think you should seriously consider going back to school.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just... Can’t...”

“I don’t know why you suddenly started thinking you’re stupid. You’re not.”

“Well, I did something really stupid today.”

“What?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“It’s embarrassing...”

“Embarrassing?” Ian asked, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. “How?”

“Because I can’t believe I even did it.... Since when do you smoke?”

“Since always?”

“Huh...” That didn’t seem right. Then again, he really hadn’t been thinking very clearly lately had he? “Anyways. You’ll be mad at me.”

Ian raised an eyebrow. “What did you do, Maxy? Tell me.”

Maxy could smell the smoke from where he stood. He didn’t want to tell Ian the truth, and yet he found himself speaking anyways. “I was depressed and I accidentally spent all of my money.”

“What do you mean!?” Ian shouted. “All!? Accidentally!? How do you do that!?”

“I-I never meant to... I’ve never done anything like this before I don’t know what came over me please Ian please. Stop yelling....”

“We can’t afford to live as it is!”

“I know! I know! Ian I’m so sorry please. Please. I screwed up so bad...”

Ian just turned away, letting out a loud exhale. Maxy bit his lip nervously. Ian had never screamed at him before. But he knew he screwed up pretty badly. And Ian was probably irritable on top of everything from not eating. He finished cooking in silence. Finally tearing open the packet of flavouring and mixing it in. He drained the water and put the noodles into a bowl, setting it in front of Ian. Ian looked up at him.

“I’m sorry baby....”

“I’m sorry....”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Will you do something for me?”

“Anything.”

“Can you get a job?”

Maxy nodded. “Of course....”

----

The next morning, Maxy got up with Ian. Apparently, there were a lot of job postings on campus. He put on a tight white t-shirt and a pair of very short red shorts. He remembered buying them the other day, thinking about wearing them around just to excite Ian. But right now, they were both too tired for that. 

Maxy yawned as they stepped outside. Ian had his arm around him, but luckily the street was usually relatively safe this early in the morning. Everyone seemed to scatter once the sun came up. 

“Can’t wait until class ends,” Ian whispered.

“Why?”

“You look so hot today.”

Maxy smiled. “Glad you noticed.”

Once they got to school, he saw Ian off to class and went to look at the bulletin board full of job postings. He began to scan them, none seemed appealing. Library assistant... He didn’t want to work on campus, it would only be a constant reminder of his failure. Construction. No way would he be able to do that. Retail... Maybe he’d be able to do that. As he was contemplating whether it might flair up his shopping addiction he recently learned he had, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see his old psychology professor.

“Oh, hello Professor....” It was kind of strange to be touched like this by someone he barely knew but he was trying to be polite.

“Maxy. Haven’t seen you in a while. I have been curious. Why did you drop my class?”

“Umm... Well... I just didn’t think I was doing very well....” He stammered.

“Well, psychology isn’t for everyone.”

“Yeah....” Maxy was relieved he didn’t seem to realize he’d dropped out of school entirely. 

“Looking for a job, eh?”

“Yeah. Just need some extra money, you know?”

The man brought his ever-present pipe to his lips and sucked in. “I have a job you’d be perfect for.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. Come with me.”

Maxy didn’t really want to, but as he coughed from the cloud of smoke he found himself going off with the man anyways. 

“You’re going to do exactly as I say, understand?”

Maxy coughed. “Yes.”