#anyway id say i dont make the rules but actually i do

[editonic]

alhaitham and kaveh are neurodivergent and each other's special interest

[starlooove]

Uhh sometimes I feel so sad that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have a romantic partner - like i don’t want one and if I did date someone genuinely I don’t think I’d be able to put up with it for more than two weeks but I feel so sad that like. The option is locked away ig. Like i still get crushes and the flash forward to the picket fence 3 kids and a dog and all but the thought of actually dating someone and putting that effort in makes me want to curl up and die

[radiotorn]

having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.

[playingonedchess]

like ironically i guess, the only sport i ever actually learnt the rules for at school was netball cause boys werent excepted to know the rules but still had to play it so the rules were explained but for every other sport everyone was just expected to know the rules already or something

[demuredociledoll]

kitty's bimbo bucket list

As my bio states I am literally just a girl. Please treat me as such. Please do not treat me differently because of my gender transition. Please do not bring it up unless I bring it up first. If you do, I'll get skittish and sad and it won't be nearly as fun a conversation as it could be. Use these to break me

soooooo i'm a tgirly who's been on hrt a long time now, i have great tits and great ass and my brain is Way fuzzier but like. i want more. i wanna be like the cool girls i see on who are just completley ultrafeminine. i wanna be the perfect boys girl. im like. might to be a bimbo tradwife. i wanna be that so bad. ive also like. been doing the bambi 20 day challenge and its like. making me realise i neeed to make these changes lol

so i thought id like. make a list of things i need to do to be the girl of my dreams i see girls with lots of fun lists where they like say "at 10 reblogs i'll do this and i kinda like. wanna arrange this like one of those eventually (if you see a bimbofication step-by-step around PLease send it to me!! i love doing what rules say). reeeeeeeally reeally reeally open to feedback and other things to include on this list.

Bimbofying my looks

so this bits like. ways i want to look prettier :)

Nails always varnished: i think this might be the most easy for me to do as i spend a lot of time painting my nails anyway, but i wanna make like a pledge to make sure my nails are Never left unpainted. i think this would be a good place to start on this

Makeup every day - i used to wear makeup every day before covid and i reeeeeeeeeally wanna get back into the swing of it. i only do it like, maybe like once every few months which just Sucks. especially when i look so pretty doing it. so i wanna like get back into a position where i do my go to routine (foundation+eye shadow+eye liner+lipstick+lip liner) at least once a month, then at least once a week, then at least every day i'm not working, then at least every day i dont have like, a work video call, then every day.

Dyeing my hair: i reeeeeeeeally wanna dye my hair but im so scared of losing my natural colour. so im thinking of like, starting Blonde frosted tips as a start, before working up to being a totally bleach blonde

Get rid of trousers and only wear skirts: girls literally shouldnt wear trousers. it literally should be illegal. i wanna like. slowly get to a point where i only wear skirts. skirts make it easy for boys to access my holes :) but actually having said that. boys really like tight clothes. so i should keep wearing ultra tight. i also need to really increase my lingerie and sexy clothes collecshon :)

Lip fillers!! I reeeeeeeeeally wanna get lip fillers but i know its gonna be a big step to get there. i wanna do everythign i can to make my lips bigger naturally in the meantime. i think i wanna get lip fillers first before i think about. bigger tits. i reeeeeeeally want srs so bad but like., thats the goverments problem

getting bgiger: im like sooooo thin at the moment, and i neeeeeeed to get bigger tits and a bigger belly to make me more grabbable and wobbly. its a little diffcult because ive got like. lots of tummy issues. but i wanna slowly scale up my food intake. ive been eating lots of ice cream but i wanna like. follow a proper plan for biggerising myself feedee style

brain feminisation and IQ reduction

sooooo this sections like. ways to girlify my brain and make sure i just think girl thoughts

im alreayd doing good on hypnos with the bambi challenge (which is going soooooo well!! im learning sosososooso much :) ). but like. i wanna keep listening to hypnos moer

staying in my place; i'm already Really good at this. doing the cooking, cleaning, housekeeping, serving men in every way i can i am already 100% that. i stepped back from a job recently so ill have even more time to do that and i can't Wait.

knowing my place: despite this i clearly like, have a tonne of feminist baggage from my old self i really need to get rid of. i need to like. have my opinions broken and like, have like the gender politics of a conservative American housewife drilled into me. i wanna genuinely believe that women should stay in the kitchen and women shouldnt work and shoudl just serve men (smart boys please please please fix me!!!). i want pro-patriarhcy to be like. my mission in life. im thinking of like. writing lots of good girl essays on tumblr to try and fix my brain lol

dumming down my writing and speaking: likeee i think im already making good practice on this, ive been workiing on a lot lately. im trying to like. not use words longer than two soundy things, like short words, with the only ones allowed being like. sexy words. and mispeling them when i cant use any other words that are small. and using the wrong words and to like get rid of capital letters apostroches. i think im getting there on this. i also need to dumb down my speaking but honestly like im already there with that, i always say words wrong and everyone makes so much fun of me for it, it turns me a lot when people make fun of me for saying words wrong lol :)

girlify my music tastes: i reeeeeeally need to get into some girlier music. i really want to. currently i dont really have much of a music taste, i mostly just listen to synthy tunes and stuff which are easy to listen to while doing worky things. however, like ive tried listening to more popular stuff like taylor swift and the brat album and its like, okay, but its like not my thing lol. I used to be suuuuuuper into paramore but im like, aware thats a more like punchy girl band and im like not that lol. update im gonna work these into my daily music playlists!!

girlify my media intake and hobbies: currently i listen to a lot of boy stuff inherited from my old self, like ww2 books and podcasts which are...boring lol. i dont want learn things like that anymore. i wannna watch more stuff thats for girls, but im not really too sure where to begin? ive tried like, reading girleir magazines like Good Housekeeping and the like but it doesnt like. completely engage me lol

taking cock and being a good sexdoll

this section is like. ways i wanna be a better fuckdoll :)

m already like. so good at blowjobs. i absoltuely adore blowjobs. i dont think theres anything i need to improve here. i already deep throat, swallow every time. id like to take more facials though :)

but i neeeeeed to get better with my other hole. again i used to ride my dildo all the time prepandemic but ive fallen out the habit, its like my makeup i only really play on veyr special ocassions

increase my toy collecshun: my toys are not in as good condition as they used to be and i want like. good ones. i need to like. make a good purchase of some good quality toys for assfucking. i already have some good buttplugs :)

get good at getting my ass fucked: im thinking of like. mirroring what i did with my makeup here. like go from wearing my buttplug for a long period at least once a month, once a week, when im not working...etc. and likewise wiht my dildo. aggain its hard because i have a lot of tummy and bottom issues.

Only cum with permisson: this is so important. girls literally should not control their cumming. it should literally be against the law. im thinking of listening to cals curse some more to like. make that a hard and fast rule lol

so like!! this is what i kind think of right now. but i really wanna like. learn more from others and think. thank you!!!!!!!!

[twistedastrology]

you cannot run a subreddit like a fucking dictatorship.

----------------------------------------------------------

im pissed as hell rn so im gonna bitch abt this real quick bc im a gemini and bitching is my specialty- and i cant do a workout yet so 😵‍💫

recently I've been very active in the r/astrology subreddit, primarily answering people's questions bc it's my favorite thing to do

I answered one person's question about the difference between the ascendant, chiron and north node, i was incredibly happy to answer bc i love helping people, especially with "easier" questions like that- (i use quotes to be respectful bc i am of the belief that no question is a stupid question)

i will give the mods one thing, they DID have a rule about self promotion even if the thing you're promoting is free- that one was my bad (i offered to look at someone's chart) and i will (and did) own up to it.

the one i will NOT own up to is the one that was not written in the fucking rules goddamn anywhere.

for reference, this was my comment that they took out back and shot:

just from this shit alone i was fucking pissed off because no goddamn way you're gonna sit here and tell me "degree theory has absolutely no basis" DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF ASTROLOGY AS A WHOLE IS JUST THEORIES AND INTERPRETATION.

there's a reason astrology and astronomy are separate. one is based off of actual, provable mathematical equations, and the other is INTERPRETATION.

i replied, and then they did too:

"we caJT pUt eVery PoSsIblE tHiNg iN tHe RulEs" YOU HAVE 6 FUCKINH RULES. YOU CAN ADD ONE ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE SO PISSY ABOUT IT. what are you allergic to the number SEVEN???? is it because it's a LIBRA DEGREE? $! #?? #? #

and the fucking "and I'd encourage you to study them" id encourage you to study my fucking ass while i fart in your face motherfucker u wanna find out how korn got their fucking band name? $! #? #? #? #?

you dont believe in degree theory??? Fun fact: your north node of destiny is in 26° MY ASS and your mercury is in 3° BULLSHIT- and your ass and my foot are in a 0° orbit conjunction 🥳🥳🥳

motherfucker degree theory is a T H E O R Y. you can't just remove someone's fucking comment yapping about it because you think it has no "basis in real astrology"- way to promote critical thinking, asshole!!!!!! you would burn the library of alexandria if you didn't agree with one fucking book in it.

this is why i was kind of afraid to go on reddit because people are so high and mighty with their astrology there that they are just about allergic to any other interpretations- and the r/astrology subreddit, at least some of the mods, seem to be exactly like that

like im sorry but my mercury in an aries degree of gemini makes perfect fucking sense to me- and the only other thing i have in aries is my venus which ISNT EVEN IN ORBIT TO MAKE A SEXTILE!!!! and these people definitely dont believe in cranking the orbits so i cant even say that 😒

not to mention dodecatemoria and decans are Technically degree theory- not in the sense of 1 degree = aries, but in the sense of "section of degrees = sign", especially dodecatemoria which is literally 0 - 29° of any sign

here's a chart in case anyone's interested:

dodecatemoria is also literally BABYLONIAN. that shit is OLD. granted egyptian decans and such are older, but that's still DECANS. AND DE GR E E S.

im not coming for everyone on the subreddit as a whole, just whoever appointed this dumbass fucking rule- why have an astrology subreddit when you can't even talk about certain astrology topics. fucking shit yourself loser i hope you burn.

to the people that dont know me that well btw i am not actually actively wishing harm on anyone- i just get very dramatic when im pissy 😒 anyway ill probably do a post on how i use degree theory soon in spite of this so keep an eye out!!! 🥳🥳

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hi!!!! kicks my feet id like to see ur wiwi first death thoughts pls

- @suckinitup

MY BELOVED MUTUAL SUCKINITUP HOW ARE YOU. HEAD IN HANDS. I LOVE WILLIAM WISP. FUCK. i think abt him constantly but i almost never write down my thoughts because if i think abt him for too long i make myself sick. like fr. i love him too much. ouuguhghhg going to just straight copy paste this under a cut because it is SO LONG sorry for any typos or sentences that sound weird out of context bc these were originally discord messages:

ohhhhhhh wiwi first death. god . i have so many fucking emotions about wiwi first death. before i get into this im going to say fork found in kitchen to myself because so much of how i view wiwi comes from a VERY SPECIFIC type of dp fanon that it would take me 12 years to actually explain in detail so im gonna say just trust me and understand that william wisp is literally just a fuckign. walmart rebrand of a type of danny characterization i really wish people would just oc-ify (thank you charlie slimecicle for doing this for me)

okayyyyyy okay okay okay. i love there being like. a STARK fucking difference between william before the fall and william after the fall. william before the fall was so much... brighter. in every sense of the word. he looks ALIVE because he is! hes just a . regular fuckign 16 yr old boy. that weird kid in your math class. and yeah he has . suuuuper undiagnosed untreated depression but like its a small rural town thats normal i think. hes got his little group of friends to spend hours with going on cool hikes and reading about the paranormal at the library and sitting in circles talking about conspiracy theories and things. i think UPP is. awesome. i hesitate to get too attached to them in headcanon world just because i dont want bizly to then introduce us to them in s3 and i have to reframe my whole mindset . whatever. i have vague ideas of who they are but the important bit is like. i just think theyre really good friends. and they spend a lot of time together. and william is kind of their defacto leader because... he is the only one of them who actually has truesight. they all believe in ghosts and monsters and stuff but william is the only one who can actually SEE THEM. like. constantly. and thats a lot. and even though they believe him they dont really like.... understand. which kind of makes william feel disconnected from basically everyone around him at all times. i dont think truesight is probably a well-known thing?? so when he was little and started crying to his parents about monsters they thought he just had bad night terrors and then he just................. hes 16 now and still talks about it (less so now, hes learned the horrors of middle- and hihg-school Shame and not to be Super Weird All The Time) so its more like. hmm theres something Wrong here but we dont know what and we dont know how to help. other people (you included ros) have said this better than me but goddddd you knowww the dynamic btwn william and his parents is rough. they love him! so much! and they want to support him! and william loves them too! but they dont GET IT they dont UNDERSTAND and its like. you know what i mean. when you get a mental health diagnosis and suddently everyone is treating you like youre made of glass and nobody really knows what to say around you anymore or whatever. you know what i mean. that.

ANYWAY ALL THIS IS FUCKING. PREAMBLE. GOD. the fall. man. i think there is a STRICT UPP rule of "dont go into the whispering woods alone" and thats the case for the ENTIRETY of their friendship. DONT go into the woods alone. william knows exactly what kind of shit lives in the woods and he knows hes the only one that can reliably see them and he doesnt want anyone to get hurt. MINIMUM of two members for whispering woods investigations. (this is not a town rule or anything. i think the adults of deadwood are aware that its a weird place but it all gets brushed off like . aha everywhere has quirks! and the UPP are like. the conspiracy kids that know the Real Stuff going on. very..... house of anubis is the closest Real Media vibe i can think of rn. UPP pre-fall is like the closest u will get to . scooby doo style monster of the week shenanigans that arent really super serious because theyre safe as they can be about it! bunch of kids doing a ouija board. you know how it is)

uhhhhhhh and then william starts acting weird! i think all of them are on a whispering woods investigation together and theyre all walking together and then william starts lagging behind, staring out at something none of them can see, kind of like. zoned out. tranfixed. and when theyre like "will what do you see?" he shakes his head and snaps out of it like. huh? what? nothing lets keep walking. (it was a wisp btw. obviously) and there are a couple more incidents of him doing this same thing on that one hike until eventually they decide to call it because theyre not finding anything else and tbh william youre kind of freaking us out here. will you be okay? and hes like yeah of course i will guys its nothing i swear. and then they all go home.

and thennnn without telling anyone a couple days later, william goes on a walk in the woods alone. he broke his OWN rule . on that hike he saw wisps and they were just too far away to see clearly off in the distance between the trees but he just Kept Seeing Them and the curiosity was just nagging and nagging away in his brain so much he had to know what they were (thats wisp magic babyyyy you know the mythology around them i dont need to explain that to you) . (and also there is a fair amount of. lack of self preservation because of the previously mentioned untreated unmanaged depression but if i start talking about that in detail i will overshare and also be soooooo emo forreal. know that that is an EXTREMELY important part of this decision but im also going with a little more of the teen mystery angle with this rn. bloody gory mental illness is for after he falls) so he packed his monster investigation backpack and he just. left. didnt even tell his parents he was going he just walked out of the house after school and went into the woods. and he saw the wisps again, but now that he was alone they were Closer and Brighter and they would move whenever he got close and then there was a trail of them ! like they were Leading him somewhere

and i think with some of the monsters he sees he can feel whetehr or not theyre out to hurt him . and the wisps dont feel like that. they feel... well. cold,becaue theyre ghosts, but also warm at the same time? inviting. they dont want to hurt him (they do) they just want to show him something and william "too curious for his own good" wisp wants to know what that thing is! i think he knows the woods really really well because he spends a lot of time out there. so somewhere far away in the back of his mind he kind of knows what theyre leading him toward. but he still jsut Has To Know, so he keeps jogging, keeps hopping over fallen logs and around low branches and theres always a little blue flame juuuuust out of reach so he keeps going . and then he gets to the cliff. its like a full on. burst out of the trees there is a wisp juuuust on the edge where the ground falls away. i think he trips on a root and falls flat on his stomach before he can completely just run off. it gives him a second to catch his breath, to look out and See where he is. for things to kind of come crashing down on him. if he hadnt tripped he wouldve run right off the edge and fallen and it was close enough of a near death experience for it to scare him. but the wisp is still there, and its the biggest brightest one hes seen yet and if he looks around he would see it looks like the entire forest behind him is glowing with tiny blue fires like theyre all watching him. i dont think hes really. thinking coherent thoughts at this point he just kind of. realizes now that hes out here he doesnt really want to go home. he doesnt want to go back to school, doesnt want to eat lunch in the bathroom and think about his brothers empty bedroom across the hall and have his parents look at him with such a weird mix of love and awkward pity and he knows his friends say they believe him but he can see it in their eyes sometimes that the things he says scares them and he really just has been a freak his whole life.... and he realizes as hes thinking all of this he's gotten to his feet and walked toward the wisp on the edge of the cliff. and hes just standing there feet on the very edge staring at it. its floated away now, hanging over the drop at eye level with him but its probably still close enough he could just... reach out.... and try to grab it...... and his feet slip on the rocks and JUST as he closes his hand around the wisp it almost feels like something pushes him (probably just the wind.. right?) and he falls.

he does Not remember hitting the bottom thank god. he remembers falling, and falling, and in the fall he realized he was still holding the wisp he grabbed in his hand and so he pulled it close to his chest as he fell and it almost felt like it was burning him but it was *cold* and .. then he woke up! he woke up in a misty foggy field in what looked to be the middle of the night but if he looks at the sky too long it looks *weird* its just black and empty and there are weird bluish swirls in it that could be clouds but look different, and there are trees in the distance but whenever he tries to walk toward them it feels like theyre moving the same distance away so it never really feels like hes getting anywhere.. and he trips over what he thinks is a rock and lands in the foggy grass and looks behind him and realizes *oh my god thats a gravestone-* and then he wakes up again, for real this time !!! (<< that scene is like. thats His Island. thats his lair or whatever. remember when mal first took him to the spirit world and they were in the graveyard and mal told him that was his. im going with dp style spirit world lairs and this one is williams. hear me out)

aaand. when he wakes up for real. he is at. the bottom of the cliff. EVERYTHING hurts. everything hurts so fucking badly but also everything is like... weirdly numb? and he doesnt really remember that weird dream with the fog and the trees and the grave its all kind of fading as he wakes up more and more and ... his hands are empty hes not holding the wisp anymore. he doesnt know how much time has passed. was any of that even real or did he just have some kind of nervous breakdown and jump off a fuckign cliff? i think he fucking sits there and cries about it for a loooooong time. and everythihng hurts but its gonna start getting dark soon he NEEDS to go home before it gets dark, his parents will start to worry about him and he doesnt want to do that to them. also he might need to get to a hospital or something but hey! he can move! he can stand up and walk! so he must not have any broken bones or anything he just. is bruised and sore probably. and so he. sooooo slowly. so slowly. makes his way back up the cliff (theres. a path. he doesnt have to climb i promise) and back home. alone. no wisps or anything, just william alone with his thoughts. which is . goddd its bad. thats why it takes him so long. ohhh my god what am i even gonna fucking say when i get there. hi mom and dad sorry i needed to clear my head and follow some weird ghosts and in the process i tried to kill myself and it didnt work? fuck?

so by the time he gets home... huh. the door is locked thats weird. its not fully dark yet and his parents know he stays out late with his friends a lot of the time so they usually leave the door unlocked for him. so he knocks. and his mom answers the door and takes one look at him and just fucking breaks down into tears. and so his dad comes in from around the corner to see whats going on and he starts crying too. and william is so. freaked out by this. guys whats wrong what happened. turns out he has been missing for. two weeks. nobody knew where he was or what happened and the woods are alive and weird and anyone who went out in a search part just ended up getting lost themselves and came back like an hour later with nothing. they thought he was dead. (which. i mean. he was. but like. not in the way they thought). so theres this big huge emotional family group hug or whatever with william all dirty with leaves and twigs in his hair and torn clothes and mud on his hands and feet and his mom and dad are just like oh thank god youre alive thank god youre home what happened to you and... man. euguhhhhahghhhh. emo. sorry. god. head in hands .

i thiiink. he kind of ends up telling them what happened. he leaves out the wisps though. his watered down version is.. i just needed to clear my head, i went out into the woods, i got lost, i tripped and fell. (remember how william downplays it for dakota when he asks. i tripped and fell) he doesnt tell them about the wisps but like. that almost makes it worse becuase they KNOW about his bad mental health even if they dont fully understand it and.... this version makes it sound suspiciously way more like it was just a direct suicide attempt. which. william IMMEDIATELY regrets as soon as it leaves his mouth. but thats his story now. so everything kind of... goes back to normal? normal ish??? as nrmal as they can i fucking guess?? for a couple days and he has to go back to school and. god it fucking sucks. gossip . you know how it is. hey that kid tried to kill himself and got lost in the woods for two weeks what a weirdo he freaks everyone out . that kind of stuff. so hes more isolated than EVER and even his friends wont really talk to him although theyre more... sad. than anything else. they just dont really know what to say. theyre teenagers. idk. uhhhhhh then one day he reallyreallly REALLY doesnt want to be somewhere so he hides in the bathroom and.. doesnt realize it at first but he goes invisible. and its not until a couple other kids come in and leave and dont acknowledge him at all that he notices something is weird (he feels bone chillignly cold but like. its a shitty old school building in the very beginnings of winter of course its gonna be cold) and he looks in the mirror and realizes he cant see himself. and after that more and more of his powers kind of. slowly manifest? and he is VERY bad at controlling them and he plans not to tell anyone at first (hes already enough of a freak) until one day his dad finds him like. halfway through the floor in his bedroom and its this . kind of funny ridicuous but also really scary moment. and william has a realization at some point like. oh. i think i *died*. and auughhghg. i think thats all i ahve for now. but . man. when i tell you i think about this soo fucking much man.

[pseudowho]

hiya 🙂 i love your nanamin fics and i followed you for them way back when you wrote the pregnant reader one (and I still think about it). thought id ask you cos you seem to answer questions like this pretty wisely 🥲

i started writing fics for a pretty niche character in a fandom (not jjk) a while back and a friend/moot started then too. this character doesnt have lots of readers and thats fine im just here for the writing.

but since then ive noticed my friend has stopped reblogging my fics even tho they did before and even tho they obvs read and reblog everyone elses fics for this character (there really arent many of us).

they also seem upset about notes/likes a lot of the time. but I know they read my fics because I see lots of the same word choices and styles show up in their fics the next time they post.

its upsetting me lot tbh. i still read, like/comment/rb fics i like and its starting to feel like they do it because they think i have more readers than they do and mb theyre jealous.

anyway i dunno if you think i should raise it with them or just leave it?? they dont talk to me much anymore either after I didnt rb one of their fics i didnt really love.

First of all, well done for starting to write, and writing for an 'unpopular' character too, it looks like it's hard having a niche audience in the Tumblr-sphere. I'm always really grateful when someone writes for a niche character I love, every fic is like finding a diamond!

Second of all: I'm really really sorry this is happening to you. It has happened and still happens to me, too.

Thirdly: While I'll give my thoughts on it straight after this, one truth is that the other person maybe simply doesn't like your writing, and there's nothing mean-spirited about it at all.

Saying this, in your case, there seem to be too many little factors that actually makes me think... 👇

I have Thoughts™️💬 about Toxic Tumblr Reblog Culture...

There is a little phenomenon I've noticed with a lot of fic writers, where they seem to stop reblogging the fics of others who they view as competition. Even if they often read and reblogged another writer's fics before they themselves started writing.

They seem to think that if they reblog the work of you, their "competitor", then your work will get more attention than theirs. It gets even worse the more 'popular' you get, sadly.

I understand, because it's hard to see someone reblog most other peoples' fics about a character, and then pointedly ignore yours. You're not mad for feeling targeted. It can feel this way.

Equally, there can be a cherry-picking of moots' work, and a high school clique attitude to reblogging. Do two or three people band together and constantly reblog each others' work, making a huge fuss whatever it is, but leave you out even though you've historically been part of the circle before? Again, it's not as uncommon as you think.

A real "if we become moots, that means I reblog all your stuff, and you reblog all my stuff" as an unspoken rule. While that might work nicely for some people, it can also foster an air of pressure or entitlement, or of reblogging things even if you didn't really like them, because they're your friend. While fostering growth and circulation in the art community should be celebrated, I'd hate to think someone reblogged my work out of obligation, as opposed to passion.

I've had followers who loved my stuff, always commented and reblogged etc, but when they started writing for the same characters themselves, just stopped. I've also noticed a lot of the things you mention (them using similar word choices, stylistic choices etc to mine, in their new fics).

So, you know they're there reading in the background, and it doesn't make sense that they liked your writing one day, then just stopped liking it overnight, right?

I don't often muse aloud about "controversial" subjects on Tumblr, but this one really gets me. It turns writing, an already isolating art, into an even more isolating "competition".

It's sad, really.

Saying that, I still read, comment, reblog all the work of theirs that I read and love! It feels petty and ridiculous, but try to be the person that you want to see in the community. They'd probably notice they still get just as many readers as before, and actually, will be forced to address that their writing may be less popular for another reason.

I have wonderful friends here who read and reblog any of my stuff they like, just as I do theirs. I made a post a little while back, r.e. always reblogging stuff just because you're moots, and I'm glad to say I don't have this strange entitled relationship with these friends. It's low pressure and really fun.

Reblog in the best spirit; reblog stuff you love, that you think is great, etc etc. Don't fall into bad intentions! It's meant to be fun. It's not high-stakes. What are people competing about? I feel really bad for you, OP, and I know what it feels like.

Jealousy in the Tumblr fic writer community is strong!

Hang in there baby. You're doing great.

-- Haitch xxx

[malwaredykes]

I'm so curious to know what your favorite dlc is! And if it's Old World Blues(mine too) then what's your second favorite?

AND which dlc would be Leigh's favorite experience?

i actually picked up honest hearts as the beginning of my Refreshing My Memories Of The DLCs campaign, as its been a hot minute since i last went through them.

But, yeah, old world blues is my favorite! its got its highs and lows, and for sure the quests arent The most fun, but i think its just overall really charming. sure, tonally its a bizarre addition, but thats what makes it work.

i REALLY dont like the dlcs overall though asjkhkjfhsdkj. ive complained before about what the addition of ulysses' plotline does to the games story, which is to say it cheapens it A LOT through unnecessary contrived backstory. ive also complained before about ulysses himself being suuuuch a deeply insufferable instance of Chris Avellone Character which is a shame because he couldve been awesome. i rly dig the whole "many couriers in the mojave are caesar's spies" and as far as ~legion-sympathetic companions~ go i think "ex-legion guy with a long complicated history with caesar, whos disillusioned with pretty much every existing faction, and whos just kinda weird and with experiences far removed from yours" would probably be the best way to do it. i also think jotchua graham cracker is kind of... i dont wanna say a complete disappointment because i Dont mind him being a mormon who went on to be caesar's legate and who then Found Jesus Again, i think thats kind of great and hilarious actually. obviously the way honest hearts frames it is aaaawful but the "mormon -> Outright Genocidal Fascist Leading An Imperial Campaign As In Literally Building An Empire -> born again christian who thinks hes saving everyone around him with his faith in his lord jesus christ may he save you as he saved josh" pipeline kind of rules like. yeah lmao. but aside from that as The Burned Man i just donnnnt like what hes got going on. like first of all thats not really how burn scars work. id get into more detail here wrt post-healing discomfort and scar compression but Anyway. hes just. not what i expected from a guy who got set on fire and then fell down a canyon lmao. he should be Wrecked. the explanation of how he survived is such a cop-out too and honestly the line about surviving because the fire within him etc fully deserves to be on etsy products because it absolutely is some This Is My Fight Song bullshit like its such a meme. idk. the lack of physically disabled characters in fallout has always bothered me a lot, and in this case, like, yeah the scars are disabling, he is disabled, but youd think the Falling Down A Canyon part wouldve permanently affected him too.

ANYWAY enough about that. my second favorite, if one can say that, is dead money. the characters are very likeable... the dlc itself is kind of hellish though. like its just Not Fun. but we get to meet veronica's ex gf AND dean domino and dog/god are awesome.

and as for which one leigh has the most fun in i have to say honest hearts purely because it takes part somewhere really nice. like shes loving the place She Really Needed This. whereas the other dlcs are kind of

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Not to be overly morbid, but do yall ever think about suicide in prythian? Personally, i think killing yourself would be pretty common. I mean, it has to be given how few old people seem to exist in this world even though fae (or atleast high-fae) seem to insanely powerful and difficult to kill

And I dont think its because living in prythian sucks THAT much or even because being immortal is THAT bad, i mean arguably the biggest issue with immortality would be to watch all your loved ones die and thats not something that sjm's fae have to deal with. I think its moreso a thing of people just kinda getting tired of living after a few centuries and being like "welp. ive experienced pretty much everything, time to explore the world beyond" yknow. Thats why I think Velaris would have a pretty high suicide rate, because if youre stuck in a city thats presumably completely stagnant and never changes because its already perfect, youre going to run out of new enjoyable things to do wayyyy more quickly and get tired of your existence. It would also explain how this city full of immortals that can never leave but can reproduce hasnt already collapsed under the weight of overpopulation after over 5000 years

One idea that i like because it could make for some poignant commentary is that suicide rates are really high among faeries because theyre a lot more likely to live in poverty and its really hard to escape poverty and its really fucking miserable so after a few decades most of them decide they dont wanna live like that, and its gotten to the point where the high fae think they just naturally have shorter lifespans for some biological reason when they can actually live just as long as high fae, its just that they take poison or some shit to die in their sleep or something idk. Maybe thats a little very dark for acotar, but then again, sjm is constantly throwing around domestic violence and abuse and rape in this series so

I think suicide rates among high lords would be pretty high as well because I imagine their lives are pretty monotonous and tiring because of their responsibilities and because its not like they can leave prythian for an extended period of time to experience some new things or have some fun adventures, theyre tied to their court geographically. And god, can you imagine what would happen if theres a crisis. Yknow how a while ago the UK went through like 5 prime ministers in two weeks because of some bullshit that was happening? Imagine that but its just all these newly-chosen high lords killing themselves because they cant handle their court for some reason. I actually have a theory that thats what happened in the night court because theres this weird little throaway line where they say like, Mor's family used to be the ruling family but then the highlord power somehow got transferred to Rhys' family and its been driving me insane because WHAT do mean by that??? So basically, I think there was a time when Mor's highlord-chosen ancestors kept killing themselves for one reason or another, none of them wanted to be highlord and the magic of the land kept reaching out further and further until it landed on like, Rhysand's great-granddad who was only distantly related to Mor's ancestors and the ruling line just continued from there

Anyway, Id like to end this post on a more positive note and talk about the demographic that I think is the least likely to kill themselves, and thats the youngest children of noble families with multiple children. As ive said, im mostly basing this off of any given fae's ability to have a lot of new experiences to keep their lives from becoming monotonous and tiresome (combined with their material circumstances) and I think the youngest children of nobles hit the sweet spot of being pretty wealthy and not needing to do a lot of hard labour that would take up their time while also not being tied down by responsibilities that would force them to stay in one place. (Unless its a family of all girls and the youngest is their only son ig because as of acomaf, prythian is super patriarchal but i try not to think abt that ngl)

[firemama]

If I had the power to become a Disney bitch that can just remake one of their classics because that's what Disney does these days, id remake Aladdin.

It'd still be animated and the goal would be a consistent style trilogy (without the sudden and sharp drop in animation quality preferably please god).

Completely scrapping the 'return of Jafar' plot line, I'd make the second movie in the trilogy about exploring the ramifications of aladdin's wish. He did not wish to *look* like a prince, he wished to BE a prince. Somewhere out there aladdin is the prince of some country or city or something and I would love to explore that as a technicality to aladdin and jasmine trying to get married. Especially if perhaps that kingdom is NOT on good terms with agrabah. They're trying to get all the arrangements done and theres a big joke about paperwork and getting the prince-requirment law squared away and then bam, the "well actually-" comes from genie and the rest of the movie is about exploring this new territory of aladdin. Who is marrying into Royalty and Politics, actually having to deal with some of that.

And then at the end of the movie, when all of that is sorted out, genie drops the second "well actually-" that aladdin was always sort of a prince anyway. Just not the inherited of any kind of land. You see, al, buddy, your dad's a king of thieves.

Movie three is that the wedding is once, again, delayed. Because now we have to deal with the fuckin ramifications of "what the fuck do you mean I'm the son of a famous criminal?" And the revelation that genie actually knows aladdin's parents. Movie three includes returning to the Magic Treasure Hoard where aladdin initially gets the lamp- "only One May Enter Here" being that aladdins father (deceased) left the cave as a sort of will of his treasure trove, a bounty worthy of a King Of Thieves. Including the most valuable artifact of the trove, the Genie In The Lamp, the most valuable treasure that was responsible for aladdin's fathers success as the king of thieves in the first place. We see some stories of Genie and Aladdins father- from rags to riches via crime, maybe the love story of aladdin's parents, (maybe some hints to why genie says "i dont like doing it" as to being able to bring back the dead rather than outright "i cant do it") and plausibly that the genie and aladdins father made the same deal, I'll use my two wishes and then free you, but (possibly following that failed attempt to bring back the dead as in trying to bring back aladdin's dead mother shortly after aladdin is born?) In the grief of that failure aladdin's father decides to use his last wish (possibly to arrange the Cave of Wonders for his sons inheritance or something) and ultimately betrays genies trust.

We get a little heart to heart with aladdin and genie- "I don't think your dad was a bad guy, per se, but-" and the classic Disney "what matters is that you kept your promise, and that's why I've stuck with you even after freedom, it's the magic of friendship"

and then once we work out reparations of the cave of wonders - using all of that stolen fortune inheritance to better aladdin's accidentally aquisitioned kingdom, and provide agrabah a stable fucking childcare system for orphans, and a whole other musical mintage of do-gooding, they FINALLY get their royal wedding- a unity wedding between these two lands and isn't it glamorous.

ON A COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE.

The whole big damb deal where Aladdin and Jasmines partnership is weighted against the genies freedom is so stupid when you consider. Aladdin could have just fucking handed the lamp to Jasmine? 3 more wishes. They solve the whole thing in movie one. Jasmine gets the lamp, makes a wish that Jafar will never escape the cave of wonders, wishes that there were bo laws restricting her personal freedoms any more than anyone else (marry who she wants AND go to the market) and then a third wish that argrbah under her rule will know ages of peace and tranquility. Then she hands that damb lamp back to Aladdin, Aladdin wishes the genie free, big happy celebration fireworks scene. (They do the heart to heart thing where they say they'll miss eachother after genie cuts himself off from talking about seeing the world. Obviously. That still needs to happen. They're friends, you honor.)

[plasmasimagination]

Hii

I'm very new in this plataform and the english is not my first language, so i'm very nervous. 😓

I saw your account for casuality and your open requests (if are still open) so, I'm here!

I can ask for a HSR and genshin matchup?

PD: I like your writing, I think it's cute and congratulations for yours almost 400 followers✌

She/Her

I'm pan, so I'm fine with anyone you think.💕

I'm ENFP and I'm pretty sure a 8w9.

I'm a bit like the tipycal sunshine character, optimish, always happy, extroverted, distracted... But I still a mature and wise person who sometime are very weird and feel like a strange, like so young and so old in the same time. (Ancient dreams from Marina is literally my song 😭)

I don't have a good relation with my family and I speake about them and my past never (That make me feel cringe) so, I considere myself like a bit mistery and reserved person for that and a others little things.

i love with all my soul the animals, the fantasie and sci-fi, whatever misterious-type things, philosophy and the classic fairy tales, I wanna be a writer and I have planned study philosophy.

I have a little problem with the authority for that I'm most a leader over a follower but if athe person is more capable and I respect that person i can follow the orden, and I'm very passionated when I have to defend my ideologys or when I saw a injustice, the discussions in my classroom are very interesant😅

My senses of self-preservation is almost non-existent, you know that character who always die for someone else? I'm them, I think this is the reason cause I'm a Griffyndor.

I'm very attached to my own moral, but no to the rules in general, so if I must be a alignment I would be a chaotic good.

I hate be alone, but I still fell very nervous in big crowds specialy if are very noisy, and places with no visible exits.

I can cry for whatever, I'm very kind, compassionate and affectionate all the time, i love help people in whatever, but i can be a little cruel with bad people.

I think that is all i can say about me, sorryyy id this is too long😭 i didn't know very well what write.

If you do this, so thaks to you, don't forget take care od you and a good rest.💕

HEY SWEETIE, THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING AND DONT WORRY YOU DID GREAT, and please, no need to be nervous you're way too sweet!

Anyways onto your request....

.

.

.

BLADE

Sunshine x grumpy

Fight me over this

It doesn't matter how you end up together, but what matters is that you are together and that's all thats important

He was very cautious of you in the beginning but later grew fond of you

He's okay with your want to be leading, he doesn't mind it at all actually, he appreciates it, he's more of a follower type of person that just does what told to

I think he would be a lot more laid back and sweeter around you, he wouldn't always be frowning or emotionless, occasionally smiling and generally enjoying your presence, it somewhat heals him in his eternal suffering

He will try to stop you from always putting others Infront of you, and will force you to take more care and be selfish from time to time

Kindness and compassion...you're gonna need that with him

You're like his safe place, he can trust you and actually tells you about him and his past.

Generally I think you guys would be very cute and that blade would appreciate a cute sunshine like you

SCARAMOUCHE

Rare matchup I do

But I also think that scara could use some sweetness in his life

No matter how much he denies it he absolutely loves you and your personality

He would burn the entire world down just to make you happy

At first he was very closed off and distant from you but got comfortable sooner or later and now he's all yours

Tho there might be a few discussions about who's gonna plan certain missions and who generally takes lead in the relationship (it's always gonna end up being you) but otherwise you guys are a great match

Do reassure him a bit and make sure he's doing fine because that boy needs it

[soundbodys]

AMBROSE BASSFORD: autism?

hi!!!! welcome to part 1 of "i've got some thoughts on adamandi" >:) i have some other analysis that i do want to share about other things, not just randomly diagnosing fictional characters! but this post is about ambrose being on the autism spectrum <3

i'm not a medical professional by any means, but this is just coming from both my experience as an autistic person and the research i've been able to do about the disorder. and other people's experiences! please dont come for me if things are just a touch inaccurate. without further ado: lets fucking gooooooooo!

[ID: ambrose bassford with his hands on vincent lin's shoulders. he is looking into the distance with a determined look in his eye. vincent looks towards him with concern. end ID]

(please excuse my terrible quality screenshots. um. yeah.)

i'll also preface this by saying that yes, much of this is also informed by his status as a transgender student in the early-mid 1900s. i still think it's fun to analyze and compare my (and others') experiences to his!

THE MARMORIUS SOCIETY

[ID: preston monterey and adrian farthington (or miscellaneous marmorei) putting a letterman jacket on ambrose. ambrose is smiling. there is a caption at the bottom reading "rooftops that nobody frequents where secret societies meet" in all caps. end ID]

firstly, i will address the marmorius society. i'm fairly certain that the marmorei in "word to the wise" are meant more to represent the then-present-now-past members that welcomed ambrose freshman year rather than preston and adrian, but thats ok. what matters more is the subtext in word to the wise that we can glean from the choreography and interactions between ambrose and vincent. beginning the song, and similarly his freshman year, ambrose struggles to fit in like each of the other students entering ardess. he initially seems more comfortable interacting with vincent, but then gets taken in by the marmorei. this is exactly where his mannerism and attitude shift

here, we see ambrose fitting in (or, making an attempt to) with the other marmorei. from vincent's account, we know that ambrose's actions and behaviors almost completely changed after becoming part of the society. this is a really roundabout way of saying hey, ambrose found a place where he thinks he might belong! rather than learning and adapting to normal and regular social rules, he latches onto and mimics a very specific subset of people. to him, they know what they are doing and they have a way of being social that he can't understand so he mimics instead of just adjusting the way he already was. this mimicking makes a bit of sense in that he's not quite conforming to social cues (he still doesn't exactly fit in), but he's trying to. it feels to me a bit like how it is to feel alienated from your peers, even though you are trying your hardest to mask. of course, his "off"-ness is also contributed to by his transness so take that as you will.

2. WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?

[ID: ambrose is standing facing vincent. vincent is facing him with his hands to his back uncomfortably. the caption reads. "i've been looking to include more variations in body type." end ID]

this one is shorter than the marmorius society bulletpoint. actually, most of them are. that one is long winded. ANYWAY, ambrose is kind of... interesting when it comes to his interactions. specifically, he encourages vincent to join the marmorei by saying he's been "looking to include more variations in body type." to him, he's being completely honest and genuinely wants vincent to take interest in his phaethon project. unfortunately, to both vincent and much of the audience, this comes off as comically insensitive at best or offensive at worst. this comes from a lack of awareness of social cues, similar to the lack of knowledge of social norms from the previous bulletpoint. while he knows how to conform to the marmorei, there is still a lot of social cues he needs to work on. often, autistic people will speak bluntly and honestly in their communication. this is really not that far off, even if it was just a little gag!

3. OMG, SENSORY ISSUES!

[ID: caption reading, "he didn't eat the apple because he said he didn't like how its flesh felt on the skin of his thumbs." end ID]

kind of self explanatory. all metaphors aside, ambrose doesn't like the flesh of a peeled apple on his thumbs. i understand (<- i loooove peeled apples though)

4. BLACK AND WHITE THINKING: IF NOT ME, WHO?

[ID: lyrics reading, "if i was stronger i could fix this; / cut the bad and leave the good / be the marble and the sculptor / like my father says i should." end ID]

[ID: lyrics reading, "so my parents and my girlfriend / my closest friends and you / will know i deserve their love / once there's no more work to do / there are only three people who'll be perfect in their eyes / me, myself, and i" end ID]

two screenshots! often, autism causes what can be called "black and white" or polarized thinking. it's like, there's only one solution or there are only the extremes (although, this isn't to be confused with the black and white thinking associated with BPD. i don't have experience on that but ive heard quincy and vincent can fit the bill). for ambrose, there's only one solution to both his dysphoria and distorted self worth: becoming the perfect man by... becoming marble or whatever. as if there is only ONE way to do this, without alternative methods. i sometimes find myself in the same spiral, and have meltdowns either when it doesn't work out or if i'm offered an alternative solution that goes against what i thought might work. even in the second screenshot here, we see that he thinks the only way to earn love is through this specific task. he cannot be unconvinced, even if vincent tries to offer him an alternative solution.

5. WHY APOLLO, BOYS?

[ID: ambrose is hanging off a ladder, his hand out and mouth open singing. the caption reads, "apollo's look is yours: sound body, sound mind" in all caps. end ID]

this is where i dip more into the headcanon territory than i already have. i couldn't really include every screenshot where he talks about a) apollo, b) sculpture, or c) fitness. this is kind of part of his character in general but i like to think of it as his special interests. it's remarkable how many autistic people i know who have majored in something related to their spinterests (including myself! in a way)

6. DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF, LIN!

[ID: vincent awkwardly puts a hand on ambrose's arm, ambrose looks at him longingly. end ID]

ambrose... did not interpret the social cues correctly in the scene directly after "sound body, sound mind." it's really just written in the text, but just in case, i will remind you that vincent pretty much says "hey, i kind of strived to be like you because i had this incorrect assumption of who you were, sorry about that lol" and ambrose took it all wrong and thought this was a romantic advance. he just... didn't interpret it right. honest mistake, but a very common mistake among autistic people. and, unrelated to the autism thing, his comeback isn't smooth at all lmao

THERE YOU HAVE IT! i'm sure there could be more to be said, but my hands hurt (disability) and i can't think of any more off the top of my head. feel free to add on with anything you want to say!!!! thank you for reading!!!! here's the sillies for you, as a reward for getting this far :)

[ID: preston, ambrose, and adrian with their arms on each others' shoulders, stepping in sync. end ID]

[omgeto]

hi! i hope you’re doing well. i’m hoping this doesn’t sound too weird but i wanted to ask if you have any tips on writing smut? you’re works are amazing and i just wanted to ask :)

awwwww you think my shit is amazing and want writing tips from moi WOW I shall do my best since I still find my smut skills a bit iffy so some of the stuff I may say I might not even do but we shall see anyways.

READ SMUT: I think the thing that got me to write smut is just the fact that I wank a lot and read a shit ton of smut. therefore I internalise what I read more, and see the common phrases, tropes, plots, that other writes use that I can infuse into my writing. and no im not saying plagiarise and copy ect but im just saying the more you read, the easier it is to write.

USE A PLETHORA OF VERBS: so basically when it comes to me writing any type of fingering or like dick in the v a g i n a scene like try out using a variety of verbs to make your works more descriptive. my trusty little bag of verbs is mainly: charges, drives, forces, pushes, inserts, thrusts ect.

DIALOGUE: to make ur smut a bit more wordy and not as boring, use dialogue, since people talk when they fuck (surprise surprise) it doesn't even have to be a proper convo if you aren't into writing dirty talk and shit but just moans and groans and like gasps like some form of written audio to go along with the visuals.

MAKE SURE IT FLOWS: like try and find some form of the flow so the smut doesn't read as awkward, like if you're doing a short snapshot smut (like what I do in my "when you have sex..." series )then thats fine but in like actual smut fics, you dont need to have a serious plot BUT it does make it better to read when theres some form of flow. such as including some type of foreplay, then get them to fuck ect. and if ur doing a pure smut fic and struggling to find a plot, think of cheesy porn plots LIKE OLD ASS PORN PLOTS like the pizza delivery man that you want to tip but you end up taking his tip (hehehe im funny right) or like the plumber thats supposed to unplug ur sink but plugs up with pussy instead (am I eating with these or nah omg)

BONUS TIPS these r so unserious kinda sorta

dont call a dick a cock thats lame (this is purely a joke I personally wont be calling a dick a cock but if you want to you can you have my full support)

HAVE FUNN WRITING SMUT, LIKE REALLY AND TRULY IT ISNT THAT DEEP WHATEVER YOU WRITE. JUST MAKE SURE TO TAG UR SHIT PROPERLY, OUTLINE IN UR RULES WHAT U DO AND DONT WRITE IF U TAKE REQS AND STUFF AND THEN LIKE JUST WRITE AND BUILD UR CRAFT. CAUSE LIKE IF U LOOK AT MY FIRST SMUT COMPARED TO NOW ID PERSONALLY SAY IVE IMPROVED (even tho ive got like 15 works loooool)

[hiemaldesirae]

say hi to dyo (they prns) dante and vergil (both he prns) my beloveds. the three of them loosely based off of the wither and the warden from minecraft and the princess from slay the princess

EDIT i forgot. to include the chain on their arm ueueueueu.... just know they have one 🥹🥹🥹

some explanations + closeups under the cut

so like. firstly i feel like i shld clarify that dyos situation isnt like, DID or something, its simply that they have 2 souls in one. sort of like gemstone fusing in su (though i have never watched su myself so dont take that at face value) where garnet was a seperate thing from ruby and sapphire but also both of them stuck tgtr

sooo yeah. the two that make up dyos soul are dante and vergil (names r snatched from dantes inferno lmao), with dante being the gentler one and vergil being the harsher one.

dante is based off the wither from mc hence his hands and the left side of his/dyos face having wither roses / having been withered away, while vergil is based off the warden, hence the soul compartment in his/dyos chest cavity.

dante and vergils personalities (their backstory is too sort of based off of slay the princess; dyo is a prince trapped in a cabin and eventually rescued by their s/o) are taken from the damsel / adversary routes of stp: dante is softer and kinder (to the ones dyo trusts that is) while vergil is harsh and cold to everyone, putting up a wall of unavailability against people he deems as a threat to dyo/dante/himself

dyo themself is sort of like the prisoner (at the end of her route when she is brought outside). theyre cunning and know both how to use their words to settle fights and when to bring out a dagger to end it. but in general theyre just Some Guy to their friends. besides the two very destructive and terrifying entities that make them up dyo just wants to be a Normal Dude and i love them for that

the mask / gloves / turtleneck r all enchanted with spells to make sure none of the destructive aura from dante/vergil leak out and harm others btw

also they all have different ways to refer to people (this is because in my head i have a convoluted explanation that wardens trap souls the same way fae do/ through names, thus dyo beinghalf warden and vergil being . the Fucking Thing Making Them Part Warden kind of have a rule to not refer to ppl w their real names)

dyos s/o who i will eventually find a design for is referred to by them as angel, by vergil as saviour and by dante as songbird/their actual name (that i havent decided yet because i am a silly little guy)

anyway. yeah. stuff i had to get out or otherwise id go crazy

and closesups i almost forgot to include whoops

[aita-blorbos]

my friends directed me to this blog to see what people would think about my situation. theyre fully supportive, but wanna see what tumblr thinks, i guess.

aita for killing the person who murdered my family, and then killing my rich abusive adoptive father?

hi. im like, 19. or 20. i lost count. i dont care about gender, but i guess im male and use he/him. anyway. when i was around 10, there was a break and enter into my house. we were getting robbed. the robber killed my mom and dad, while i snuck into the kitchen do grab a kitchen knife. i stabbed him in the back and took his gun while he was stunned. i was scared to use it, so instead i just kept stabbing him until he stopped breathing. great childhood, i know.

anyway, after that, i was all alone. i didnt know where my brother went, and my parents were dead. we didnt really have an extensive family, so there were no funerals, and there was no one to take care of me. so for a while i just roamed the streets. some random guy saw me, and seeing a kid covered in blood probably isnt the most normal thing, so he ran up to ask if i was ok. he brought me to an orphanage, where i stayed for a while. eventually, my second "dad" (i dont even want to call him that. hes a disgrace compared to my real father, even calling him a parent feels disrespectful) came to the orphanage to adopt a kid. said kid was me. i was happy, cause id finally have a home again, and he was rich! i would be spoiled, and given a wonderful life for the trauma i had to go through.

i was wrong, though. the guy who adopted me was a prick. he was a rich scumbag who only thought about others if it meant he could say bad things about them. he was negligent, and would sometimes hit me. he got drunk all the time, and usually i was left alone in his huge house, only having the occasional housemaid to care for me. whenever i see pictures of the interiors of huge houses or mansions it gives me chills. anyway, after all this bullshit, i finally thought enough was enough. i still carried a few knives on me ever since the incident, in case something bad happened again. at night when no one except the two of us were in the house, i stabbed him in the heart while he was sleeping. i took all his money, and figured if worst comes to worst, i could pay my way out of being punished for murder. fortunately, that wasnt even necessary. when i called 911 pretending like i had no idea what happened, none of the officers even touched me. no one had a clue i had the weapon. it was eventually ruled down to a robber that got away, ironically enough.

after all this, i inherited all of his shit. all the money, the whole house, and all his stupid rich guy bullshit (think yachts, fancy cars). it was all mine. i turned the house into a housing unit, letting anyone who wanted to to live in it (like the homeless or people who needed to get away from an abusive household), given how huge it was. seriously, it felt like a palace in a disney movie. i sold all the shit he had that i didnt care about, or gave it away for free to others. i donate frequently to charity. i make sure i dont keep too much money for myself at a time, and i dont buy stupid things that i dont actually need. i dont want to become like him.

alright, so heres the final question. i know some people think murder is unacceptable, no matter how evil the victim is, that my parents may be watching me from the stars with hatred, and that rich peolle are assholes. but im trying my best to be a good person.

am i the asshole?