#anyway i'm still gay and i can't get up as i update this set to completion (this is me at gif no.5)

[aarontveit]

GRACELAND | 2013 - 2015 S01E09: Smoke Alarm.

[thewebcomicsreview]

Hate to tell you this, but the HSBC update just got updated.

I get that they wanted to keep the Hell Arc confined to page 666, and it'll make the archival experience pretty cool, but hard refreshing the site didn't let me see the update to the page due to cache bullshit, I had to use a different browser. So let's liveblog now before it breaks again:

Looks like we're back to Tavros. I guess it makes sense that the first path to update would the one where they could reuse the talksprites.

So, as directly stated by Davepeta, Vriska is trapped in a time loop, where Tavros doesn't remember anything that happened the previous day, just like in the movie Groundhog Day. That Davepeta called out the movie explicitly in-universe as the reference makes me wonder if events will follow the rough plot of that movie. It's clearly what Davepeta wants to happen, but...Vriska....

Anyway, Vriska offers to let Tavros decide what to do today, for the first time. It took two whole years for her to try that, but she is the Thief of Light and not letting anyone else decide what to do is literally her cosmic role and stuff, so I guess that tracks. And what Tavros wants to do is....play a game.

Last update I said that Vriska saying she's done some things wrong while shrugging and laughing is the ultimate distillation of Vriska, but her having won everything and being miserable about it is also the ultimate distillation of Vriska. She's a woman of contrasts, that Vriskers.

The use of the phrase "session" here outs this line as having Deeper Meanings. Having SBURB sessions over and over so we can play forever is literally Dirk's plan, and most of the fandom is assuming a Candy session is coming.

So, even though they're talking about playing FLARP (the troll DnD game, which is apparently PvP), this is also an argument over whether or not Homestuck should continue. You can't really "win" if the game keeps going, but that doesn't mean you're stuck doing the same thing over and over.

I know Vriska is Problematique, but I'm still taken aback by her 2000s kid usage of "gay" as a general-purpose insult, and not just because trolls don't have a concept of "straight" or "gay". Apparently she doesn't even know what it means and learned the word from Da-

Oh, it was just to set up this line for people to screenshot. Alright. Fine.

brb, gotta go post this in the hard to use reaction images channel on the discord and have someone complain it's easy to use.

Tavros accuses Vriska of projecting her own fears onto him, and then gets into a tangent about being a "soft" female fairy and Vriska takes him up on playing this new "game for girls" and he panics and changes the subject. There's a...lot....going on there.

Vriska starts to have an actual breakthrough, when suddenly Aradiabot appears. Wait, is this where Aradia and Ult!Dave went?

We fade to black and I thought that was it, but apparently not. This being a visual novel makes it feel like a much bigger update than it is, and also kind of makes you read each line a bit more carefully. It's a good way of having multiple meaty (or, um, candy-y) updates in a short stretch of time, and that's kind of an important part of the "feel" of Homestuck that no one can really replicate.

Oh, I do not care for this talksprite.

The downside of this format is that it's harder to liveblog, I think, but basically Aradia is complaining about the Vriska Cycle of "Do bad thing, self-flagellate to be redeemed, repeat".

Vriska justifies it because she has to take action and set people straight and stuff, and if this conversation/game isn't leading to the return of "(Vriska)", the OG timeline Vriska who died and got a ton of character growth before post-retcon Vriska stole her girlfriend, then what is it building towards?

A lot of these lines make good single-panel memes. Yes, Vriska, you are the problem in nearly every situation, even (especially) when you're also the solution.

Aradia sa- oh for fuck's sake this is unreadable, guys. Anyway she says that getting into a routine leads to stagnation and slow death, which, mood, but also is about Homestuck itself as much as it is about Vriska.

Jesus Christ, how long is this update? This page is a full on Pesterquest game when the other five routes are finished.

Oh, okay. That's it. Vriska levels and we get a bunch of fire-themed pun ranks for her, of which Skinner's Bane is the best

[stripedwolf88]

*sigh* alright. I'm gonna vent about this for hopefully the last time but knowing me it probably won't be. That's fine. We must allow emotions to flow like the river but remember to let them go. I get there eventually.

Don't get distracted dude! Okay my peoples I'm going to "share the tea" as the kids say on that girl that has made me spiral this past week? Week and a half? I don't know what time is anymore honestly.

So...this girl is someone I met at work in October of this past year. We'll call her N okay so that it doesn't get confusing later. Anyway N and I hit it off pretty quickly and that's something for me because I'm pretty socially awkward and I find connecting with people in new settings difficult (who doesn't am I right?) We eventually started texting outside of work which then turned into hanging out together. I will admit I developed a minor crush on her even though I knew pretty early on that she had a partner called H. I have a tendency to "catch feelings" for people who are unavailable mainly straight girls. The reason for this is probably because I know that I'm not ready for a romantic relationship right now and having a crush on someone that you know can't return your feelings is safe and kind of fun? No harm no foul right?

Anyway I just decided to feel my feelings with no outward action that would be disrespectful to their relationship. I will say I gave N quite a few compliments but they fell within platonic bounds like "oh I like how you did your make up today" or "it's funny how you react to certain things" ect. And in no way was I ever physically close in any way because the hell if I am ever going to ever make someone uncomfortable with physical touch like I have in the past.

During our talks, N would sometimes complain about her partner being controlling. Telling her what to wear, getting mad at her for going out alone, getting irritated by who she was hanging out with. Mind you N's partner, H, is in California while we are here in AZ. I don't like H for treating N this way but I know it's not my place to talk crap about her partner. Just listen and sometimes offer support of my friend right? I've butted in where I shouldn't have in the past and it's gotten me into trouble.

So randomly one day H, the partner, adds me on snap when we had already had each other's phone number because N wanted to invite me into the dnd sessions. It didn't work out but I still kept the phone number just in case of whatever ya know?

I told N about H adding me and N tells me about how H got upset when she found that I was gay and that me and N had hung out in her dorm together. N explained to her that I was just a friend and that technically her roommate was technically also there just separated by a wall. (We were in like the living room area of her dorm while the roommate was in the actual bed room on a zoom) We literally just watched a movie and talked for a while about random stuff. Now N had already mentioned that I was gay to H prior to this little fight they had but apparently H forgot or something? At least that's what N told me.

Okay skip forward to a hangout at the nearby mall in which N tells me that H "trusts me" around N. It rubbed me the wrong way because of the other behaviors I listed above. We hangout and I swear N is basically on her phone throughout our outing texting H updates. And normally I would get it but it was incessant. Not every hour. No it was like every 15 minutes she felt the need to be texting her. I got a bit upset. I mean we're trying to hangout anf her being on her phone is making me feel ignored and disrespected. I brush it off saying I'm just being overly sensitive.

Skip to the past couple weeks I get not only a text message but also a Snapchat message from H. I respond cautiously because we haven't ever really spoken to each other prior to this. H cuts right to the chase and tells me she would appreciate that I not hang out with N alone anymore but hopes that this won't affect our friendship. 1. I am uncomfortable at this essential stranger telling me this 2. I am confused as to why I am not hearing this from N who is my friend and should be able to make this boundary with me 3. I begin to think that H is speaking to me without N knowing and essentially telling me to back off.

It takes me a long while to react and what I end up doing is screen shooting the message H sent me and sending it in a group chat that includes N, H, and me. I also write a message that just says " I believe in honesty and transparency" and I'm basically asking where this is coming from still thinking N doesn't know that H has texted me.

I come to find out that N did know that H was going to text me about this. H makes a comment that says "it's interesting that you thought we hadn't talked about this and that N didn't already know." I am immediately hurt at the idea that may not have felt comfortable to tell me this info on her own and angry at being "asked" to do something from a stranger. I convey my hurt and confusion. It turns kind of ugly fast in which H accuses me of butting in to their relationship by making the group chat when I was just trying to have everyone be on the same page and foster more open communication. I try to convey that it wasn't cool that N did not tell me about this change herself and how I would have respected it. They both don't seem to get why I'm upset. I at one point say how weird it is to hear this kind of thing from a stranger and N thinks I'm being disrespectful by calling H that. But that is simply what they are to me because I have never really spoken to H and gotten to know them. N basically ends up saying "I understand that you feel hurt and I had hoped this wouldn't affect our friendship but I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore."

Which to me seems like she thought that I might get mad. And that she is already kind of okay with us not being friends.

I had made comments to defend myself on why I made the group chat basically saying I don't know how well they communicate since I have been told of problems in the past from N. Which I think probably made H a little mad and N uncomfortable.

It ends with N just saying again they understand that I'm hurt but they never meant to make me feel as though I was not of value to them. I responded the next day saying that I needed some space from texting and hanging out outside of work but that I would remain civil at work until further notice.

I kind of gave myself an out because I don't really know how much I'm willing to invest in this friendship. And if I'm willing to try and sort through this drama. N's actions aren't really lining up with what she's saying by claiming that she values me when she has made me feel like this before.

I totally understand that H is insecure especially with things being long distance between them but for them to text me like that felt disrespectful to me. Had it come from N it would have been different. It would have been a frI end asking to make this adjustment because they are doing it out of respect for their partner and the health of their relationship. But no this seems to me based on the info I gathered from our convo and previous convos that this was mainly H's idea and that N just went along with it. And it would be another example of H being controlling.

I was and am hurt and feel like I got slapped in the face by this whole situation. I will say that N reassured me that there was nothing on my part that was causing this change. Which I'm gald because I would be disgusted with myself if I had done anything to make her feel uncomfortable.

I've recently come to the conclusion that I may just distance myself and say we can only really talk at work. I don't want to give myself the opportunity to say something I will regret but also the opportunity for me to get hurt like this again.

I would like to hear your guys' thoughts? Was I wrong to respond the way I did to that message? Should I try to repair this friendship or just let it go?

Woof. Sorry that was a lot. If you made it this far, thank you for reading and letting me vent.

[asterjaxx]

i've been watching a lot of movies recently so i'm gonna make a big post about what i think about each one i've watched so far so i can refer back to it if i ever need it

also warnings for possible spoilers for each movie below

things no one cares about under the cut

NOTTING HILL 1999 — dir. Roger Michell

I LOVED NOTTING HILL could watch this movie over and over forever holy shit i love hugh grant. also julia roberts has a very big mouth like if i see her in a different movie and she looks like completely different but i'll recognise her mouth like is that weird- SO CUTE sometimes things didn't quite sequence together ? like there were times when it wasn't quite clear how long had passed between the two scenes, but that doesn't really bother me. not a lot of exposition but again doesn't bother me. just a nice fluffy romantic film :) also has so many funny moments that are actually funny not cringe all around i love this movie so much one of my favourites ever i think

DIRTY DANCING 1987 — dir. Emile Ardolino

in short; not for me lol i can't stand patrick swayze's accent i'm sorry. didn't even watch the whole movie because i was so not interested. it's cute when he's teaching her to do the dance and stuff and i liked when they were in the water trying to do the lift but like that was the only memorable thing for me. hair reminded me of the heathers (which is one of my absolute favourite movies) but other than that it wasn't really anything crazy to me ? just an 80s movie that my mom likes

BRIDGET JONES' DIARY 2001 — dir. Sharon Maguire

good movie. mark kinda pisses me off but he's a good guy in the end so i can live with it HUGH GRANT !!!!1 though his character was a fucking ass i love when he gets beaten up not toooooo fluffy romantic, but still romantic. FUNNY, bridget jones can't get a fucking break and it's hilarious "bridget jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs. mum... hi." solid movie i really want to watch the other two (i'll add to this list later when i watch them) and there's a fourth one coming

MAURICE 1987 — dir. James Ivory

ugh gay people ^JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE i liked this movie. i loooove things set in earlier times but like i wouldn't call this a period piece ? like it's not that far in the past, only 1910s, but then again that was still a hundred years ago. ANYWAY hugh grant again (are you seeing a theme?) ew he was DISGUSTING with the slicked back hair and the moustache EW jokes ugh he was so cute i liked the first half of the movie, the second half was kinda eh to me?? i thought maurice and clive would like have a better resolution between them so i was kinda underwhelmed didn't really like maurice's actor's accent LMAO i am awful ending was kiiiinda disappointing to me i thought there'd be more but it was sweet. I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE DICK AND BALLS !!!!! i literally almost screamed (no i didn't i handled it like a mature person) anyway yeah this movie's good, but ew gay people I'M JOKING

04/07 UPDATE ————————————————————————

LOVE ACTUALLY 2003 — dir. Richard Curtis

"when the planes hit the twin towers..." HUGH GRANT anyway i loved this movie, super cute. it seemed like there was a lot going on but it was done in a way that it wasn't confusing. funny but not cringe. it's a win for me if hugh grant's in it hate the american president guy, hate harry's voice he sounds like a pedophile ROWAN ATKINSON JUMPSCARE ... TWICE billy mack can suck balls i hated that guy but overall super cute lovey movie but not boringly lovey. story between all of the characters was great and i liked that they all had a nice resolve between them :)

05/07 UPDATE ————————————————————————

BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON 2004 — dir. Beeban Kidron

when i finished bridget jones' diary, and found out there were two more movies (and another in the works) i was a little apprehensive. i thought "what more could possible happen?" but this is bridget jones this movie was super cute actually ! GOD daniel cleaver is an asshole i hate him but hugh grant....... i like that mark and daniel fight again that was fun my god she fucking goes to jail LIKE A WERGIN overall; jesus christ what a movie. i enjoyed it though. I DID NOT EXPECT THAT REBECCA WAS A LESBIAN but then again i have a cousin named rebecca that's queer like the first movie, not super fluffy romantic, but still romantic. actually funny. actually want to kill myseslf out of second-hand embarrassment at times but that's the bridget jones charm

06/07 UPDATE————————————————————————

FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL 1994 — dir. Mike Newell

THIS MOVIE WAS SO SWEET AWWWW I FEEL SO SILLY AFTER WATCHING THAT :D rowan atkinson jumpscare once again (i knew he was in this movie) aawww man i don't have much to say about it other than it's so sweet and romantic and i just love it it's beautiful :( my brain is mush after watching it

08/07 UPDATE————————————————————————

BRIDGET JONES' BABY 2016 — dir. Sharon Maguire

holy shit ED SHEERAN JUMPSCARE!!!! oh my god i want to beat the shit out of jack. did not expect that daniel fucking died LMAOOOOO but also (massive spoiler) he's not actually dead i hope he comes back in the fourth movie giggles and kicks feet i heard that in the fourth one mark dies so bridget is alone so like maybe daniel can redeem himself when i saw mark and bridget getting married i was like oh thank god they can actually get married and daniel can't fuck her but never mind anyway i loved this movie it was funny and very bridget jones

um i forgot to write the date oopsie———————————————

SENSE AND SENSIBILITY 1995 — dir. Ang Lee

this movie made my heart hurt i was surprised at how many actors i'd seen previously in other films. like i knew hugh grant was in it (that's why i wanted to watch it lol), but i didn't expect the guy from love actually and bridget jones' mother. oh my god it all hurts the more i watch it hurts i want to cry for elinor and marianne and oh my goddd. also that fucking old bitch is so annoying i forgot her name is she mrs jennings i think but like holy shit shut the fuck up!!!!! ugh i love period media GOOD MOVIE 👍 I LOVED IT but holy shit i am too gen z for how long it was i was rolling to try and find something to keep my attention but also i wanted to watch it so bad the ending was good i liked the resolve like it was actually good i didn't expect anyone to get a happy ending LMAOOO THE MOVIE IS 2 HOURS AND 16 MINUTES. the TENSION between elinor and miss steele oh my god, WHEN THE THREE OF THEM WERE IN THE SAME ROOM i wanted to scream holy shit HLEP ME MISS STEELE'S FACE AS MARIANNE RATTLES TO EDWARD AND THEN HELP ME WHEN SHE TELLS HIS SISTER(i wrote this section while watching the movie) ugh hugh grant my looooove oh my god that man is older than my FATHER also they use the word "creature" a lot to refer to people but that's probably just the 1800s i guess "my heart is... and always will be... yours." AEUUUGHUGUHHUG

01/08 UPDATE————————————————————————

ABOUT A BOY 2002 — dir. Paul Weitz and Chris Weitz

at first i thought this movie was gonna be boring and all that, but i ended up really enjoying it! it actually was really sweet, despite not seeming like it'd be. also the guy that plays the boy marcus is the voice of jon in the new garfield movie ??????????? I'M NOT JOKING LOOK IT UP but yeah i actually really liked this movie i watched it with my mom and i enjoyed it not really much to say except it turns into a really touching movie and it's actually really nice it makes me want to not hate kids but i still do anyway

14/08 UPDATE————————————————————————

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS? 2009 — dir. Marc Lawrence

you know,,, i'd want to kill meryl too. ugh i love hugh grant oh my god ughhhh i like the bear :) and the horses :) i don't have much to say about this movie LMAO i feel like most of it wasn't super memorable but i did enjoy it, so less rom more com but i mean that was the point. still sweet ending they finally get a kid. also is that a thing? that a kid can be alive and in the world but not yet have a name? like bro's gotta have a birth certificate with something on it right? i don't know i've never had kids (thank god) and also maybe it was chill like that or maybe it's just a movie and it's just nice and details like that don't matter ^_^

19/08 UPDATE————————————————————————

MUSIC AND LYRICS 2007 — dir. Marc Lawrence

OH MY GOD i wasn't expecting to like this movie that much but holy shit actually that ending was so sweet i cried i said i wasn't gonna lose my head but then pop goes my heart (pop goes my heart) i wasn't gonna fall in love again but then pop goes my heart ALL I WANNA DO IS FIND A WAY BACK INTO LOOOOVE ugh I WAS SO HEARTBROKEN WHEN HE TOLD HER SHE WAS LIKE THE CHARACTER IN THAT BOOK THAT GUY WROTE ABOUT HER LIKE NAOOOOOO but holy shit yeah i liked this movie actually it was actually funny not cringe and also hugh grant so 👍

[nikatyler]

Some more of my recent Bald Gay 3 stuff. Ever since I learned how to add mods to this game, I've...shown the exact same behavior my sims 4 mods folder knows very well. And now I'm stuck in character creation making a million tavs. So anyway, I bg3fied Callias for a durge run. I wasn't sure what class to pick for him, but eventually I settled for war cleric. Oh and he's a drow. His dream visitor is based on his sims sister Magdalene. And yes, he'll be romancing Astarion and they'll make each other worse. Naturally.

Tyler got tiefling'd for real! They're so precious. I'm guessing I'll get around doing their run in August if my brainrot is still going strong by then. Meet Tyghlar (still pronounced the same way but we're ✨quirky✨ in a fantasy setting), mephistopheles tiefling, bard. Yes, bg3!tyler has boobs. He calls them tiny goats. Honestly? Tyler deserves real boobs in at least one universe, so good for them. Gonna be romancing Shadowheart with them (them as in Tyghlar, not the boobs..but I mean, they're nice boobs, maybe Shart will like them...) Dream visitor based on Sharon. I actually realized the other day that she and Shart have some things in common so naturally a bg3!tyler has to romance Shart, duh, and also there's this whole thing with wolves and sims!Sharon is a werewolf...also, I'm planning to do a run with bg3!sharon too, eventually. I'm not sure if she'll look exactly this way, probably not, my mods folder will be twice as big by then, but just like the dream visitor, she'll be a drow for sure. I wanna make her a paladin.

Up next, my very self-indulgent tavself run. Made myself a wizard and maybe dipped into sorcerer as well? I think I may have. I might be going silly with mods here and I'm definitely making a very very very self-indulgent karlachbloodnikaweave sandwich, if you know what I mean. I wanna romance them all okay, I'm just a girl. A simple girl.

Nah, update: This save no longer exists 😂 I restarted it, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna play it. It's just not that fun to play as *myself*, I prefer to project onto OCs, if that makes sense.

I'm also planning a Zeph honour run but I can't for the life of me decide what Zeph should look like - I know I want them to be different from what they were like in my first run, but how much different? 😂 Well, this is what they're like now. What do you think?

I also really struggle developing some lore for them, they have nothing going on for them and nothing feels right, so you might think, dude just drop them...but I can't, okay 😭

So. Another update. I've tried the Zeph honour run. It did not end well. Game over right off the nautiloid. I know better now, but I don't really wanna play it now. I'm not sure if they're suitable to be my first ever honour run, to be fair. I started a tactician run with them instead, so they can die all they want and I can always reload. As for honour, I'll probably first make an OC that's really built with survival in mind. Overpowered tank or something. Which Zeph definitely isn't 😅

Last but not least, this weekend I felt like creating Sunset...well, Solana in this game, or simply nicknamed Sunny. That's all, I just wanted to create her. I'm not sure if I'll play her much, it's not really a priority right now. But I wanted you to see her too.

[aurorawest]

Reading update

White Trash Warlock by David R Slayton - 4.75/5 stars

Urban fantasy with a protagonist from a trailer park, who, for bonus points, got sectioned by his older brother as a teen. Daddy issues, mommy issues, and brother issues, what's not to like? I ordered everything else by this author I could find when I finished the book, including the other two books in this series.

The Fascinators by Andrew Eliopulos - DNF

Boring.

The Revolutionary and the Rogue by Blake Ferre - DNF

Boring, with the added crime of actual plot happening but still, somehow, nothing actually happening. I kept reading whole pages and realizing I had no idea what I'd just read.

The Red Scholar's Wake by Aliette de Bodard - DNF

OMFG CAN I CATCH A BREAK. This was such a disappointing DNF, too, because I'd really been looking forward to it. One of the characters is a spaceship and it bills itself as a space opera? Yes please. But after the initial marriage of convenience setup, it's just all a bunch of pointless, boring conversations. Nothing happens. I flipped ahead. Still nothing happening. Not a space opera but definitely cozy sci-fi, which I think I officially hate.

Honeytrap by Aster Glenn Gray - 5/5 stars

An FBI agent and a GRU agent get assigned to work a case together in 1959 and they fall in looooove. But oof, this book was so good. I'm not sure I've ever had a time skip hit me in the gut so hard. I really can't recommend this book enough, it fits squarely in my niche interest of mid-century America or Britain m/m romance. I think Natasha Pulley also awakened something in me with The Half Life of Valery K, because I seem to be a sucker for gay Soviet men. Speaking of, if you liked The Half Life of Valery K, I bet you'll like this too! Anyway, read this, but be prepared to be hurt by it.

Ordinary Monsters by JM Miro - 4/5 stars

X-men meets Strangers Things with a dash of English boarding school, set in Victorian Britain.

Human Enough by ES Yu - DNF

Promising until it devolved into boring, pointless conversations and tumblr posts on neurodivergence.

Olympic Enemies by Rebecca J Caffery - DNF

I put this down on page 12 and my wife grabbed it to flip through it, cackling at the amateurish prose.

Frost Bite by J Emery - 4.5/5 stars

Snowed-in cabin fic with an enemies to lovers romance between a vampire and a (former) vampire hunter. It was cute and a quick read.

The Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner - DNF

Very Not Like Other Girls. Also read a review that said pregnancy was a huge focus of the book, and that's a squick for me.

Reverie by Ryan La Sala - 3.75/5 stars

This book didn't quite live up to the promise of its beginning (missing memories, bizarre disruptions to time and space) and the writing was a little twee at times, but overall I enjoyed it. This was the author's debut, so I suspect subsequent books will probably be better. I did feel like the teenage main characters were weirdly inured to death, which also contributed to me knocking of a quarter of a star from what would otherwise have been a solid 4 star book.

All Souls Near & Nigh by Hailey Turner - 3/5 stars

If you like The Tarot Sequence by KD Edwards, this series might be worth picking up. I will say, though, that it's nowhere near as good. I think it's a combination of pacing and too many characters that detracts from my enjoyment of this series. This is the second book and I enjoyed it more than the first, probably because I sort of remembered the massive cast of characters from the first one. It's one of those things where I really don't think they're all necessary and some should be combined with others. The pacing is also...weird. It's pretty much nonstop action. At one point I think the main character drove back and forth between various crime scene locations and his office like 5 times in a day.

That said! Despite the issues, clearly I still picked up book 2, and I'll probably read book 3 at some point. I really like the two main characters.

[drizzileiscool]

BIG GIANT POST ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE PLAYING TWEWY!!!!!!

CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!

NO I HAVE NOT PLAYED NEO YET!!!! I AM POOR!!!!! PLEASE DON'T SPOIL ME ON IT!!!!!! I've played some of the demo though!!!!!

I first decided to get into twewy last month. I saw that there was a switch version available, but I was unable to play that version. I did, however, have a ds emulator, but after talking to some people I realized I probably would've gotten arthritis playing it on emulator.

When I was just about ready to give up, I decided to watch the first episode of the anime. I enjoyed it a bit.

I was then told to not watch the anime.

So you may be wondering.. "How did you play twewy?"

I played the mobile version. Solo mix. Yeah that one. The one not available for current gen phones.

I found a link to a modded version on an old reddit thread that was updated for current gen android phones, and one of my friends helped me get it set up, and I was finally ready to play.

During my first few hours, I didn't actually like neku all that much. Honestly, he was a dick. i remember what you said about plushies, neku. i will not forgive this as a plushie enthusiast.

While playing the game, I was under the assumption that I would get to change partners whenever once I unlocked it. Rhyme seemed cool, so I was hoping to get to partner with her.

And then the game killed her off.

Despite not knowing anything about rhyme, she was still my favorite character. Besides beat of course, but that's later during week 3.

I remember that I was crying when I first saw her death. I was all like "why did they make such a cool character design, just to kill her off?? that doesn't make sense."

earlier today I saw a tweet on twitter that said "cute cosplay idea for couples!" and it was a rhyme cosplay and a shark costume and I nearly lost my shit laughing, so I guess I'm over it.

When week 1 was ending, I remember feeling like "wait, that's it?" of course, I was wrong.

anyways week 2 now uhh uhhhhhh-

when I first met joshua and learned that I could scan him I was all like "huh???". also excellent foreshadowing there, square enix!

also JOSHUA IS A FRUIT YOU CANNOT TELL ME THIS PERSON ISN'T GAY JUST LOOK AT HIM

at this point, I didn't really know what to expect anymore. the game broke one of its already established rules, "players can't scan other players" so I had no idea what was coming next anymore.

SHO MINAMIMOTO IS HOT!!!!

uhhg. don't got anything else to say about this week except I genuinely thought hanekoma was the composer.

I was extremely shocked to learn that joshua killed neku during this week, and was even more shocked to learn that it was a misfire (and then I learned it wasn't a misfire but that's in week 3 and we haven't gotten to that yet!)

WEEK THREE!!! BEAT TIME!!!

alright, before I started week 3, I actually didn't like beat all that much. that changed a LOT during week 3. he is now one of my favorite characters.

later that week, I had finally learned joshua was the composer and was actually extremely shocked lol.

oh uh I also got spoiled on how beat and rhyme got hit by a car from ign so uhhhh oops

SHO SOMEHOW GOT HOTTER!!!!

I beat the game. I loved the credits theme (and will rewatch the credits later) and really liked how neku threw off his headphones to symbolize how he won't shut himself off from the world anymore.

10/10 game, really enjoyed playing it!

also there was a scene early on where neku went up to a reaper and said I know what you are and I didn't get to screenshot it :(

so.. yeah! my experience with twewy! good game! one of my favorites now! getting neo soon!

[sodasa-was-taken]

Hey there, I'm curious about your thoughts on this. If the Gundam fandom particularly the English part isn't very fanfic-heavy, what's up with Gundam Wing having 50000 fanfics from FF dot Net and AO3 combined? And many of them still being updated. They even had a zine last year and I think you can agree that that's admirable for an old fandom. Compared to Gundam Witch, I'm only aware of 2, and one is even dead. Meanwhile, other M/M heavy fandoms have released more than a number of zines already.

I guess I can't help but compare the English fandom with the Japanese fandom which is releasing countless anthologies and events across the board to this day. Like many, I've read that fanfiction is the gage that people care about a fandom so I can't help but wonder if that is an old way of thinking and unlike Gundam Wing fans who are older, the fans of Gundam Witch are younger and just don't care about fanfiction anymore.

This is the first time someone has pointed out a flaw in one of my arguments. It's been a long time coming if you ask me.

I think I might not have expressed myself in quite the right way. I didn't mean to say that the English speaking part of the Gundam fandom isn't into fanfiction but that it has a proportionally small amount of people whose main thing is writing fanfic. I think it's silly to only use the amount of fanfiction to determine the size of a fandom because the skill sets and passions people within a fandom can have vary greatly. Some fandoms are huge on fan songs some barely have any or not at all. Some ships have more animatics dedicated to them than others and while popularity does play a role it's rarely if ever perfectly proportional. That's what I was trying to get at. The only way the output of a specific type of fan work would be a reliable way to determine the size of a fandom is if the ratio of that type of fan work to the amount of people in the fandom was at least somewhat consistent. In most cases it's anything but.

The disparities between Gundam Wing and g-witch makes perfect sense to me, but it doesn't have anything to do with young people not caring about fanfiction. Believe they absolutely do. The thing is Gundam Wing aired on Toonami back in 2000 as the first Gundam show to ever premiere on American television. It was a straight-up phenomenon in the way anime just isn't anymore in the west due to anime becoming a lot more mainstream within the last decade. The way it was distributed meant that a lot of people could stumble into it without already being in certain circles watch a few seconds while skipping between channels and decide to give it a try. This had the potential to bring in people with very varying interest because a lot of those who became fans hadn't actively been seeking out the show.

Compare that to a show like g-witch that came out in a time where streaming wars and algorithms mean you most likely wouldn't have just stumbled upon it unless you were already watching similar shows. People in the west had to main ways of learning about the show: either through someone they know or through the internet. There's basically no way anyone got into the show out of pure curiosity and this is pretty much true for any Gundam show since Unicorn. Anyway, my point is we've gotten more picky because we can be and it makes fandoms more homogeneous when it comes to taste than in the past.

When it comes to what kinda people do choose to watch g-witch there's three main points I've seen people bring up when recommending the show. It's a new take on Gundam. It's well produced. It's gay, I swear. These three things respectively appeal to existing Gundam fans, people who are passionate about the medium of animation, and fans of sapphic media especially those who like animated shows. If they are to join the fandom they're likely more than one of them. Without knowing for sure through what I have been able to observe I would guess it's people falling under the third category who are the most prolific Sulemio shipfic authors. In terms of the amount of fics that is as I'm almost certain it's a bunch of Gundam veterans who are responsible for the 300000+ words ongoing fics.

That was a longer answer than I would've predicted. Thank you for the ask.

[pan-magi]

My Magi LGBTQIA+ Headcanons

Ok, I've been working on this list since January. I still probably forgot some. I haven't worked out all my SnB ones yet and about half the Rens. It takes me an inordinate amount of time to sort them out. The only ones I'm really set on are the aspec ones because I'm biased (that's me, I'm AA and proud).

All that to say I may update this list or do a second part. Most likely won't be for a while since I'd want to to add a good chunk before I commit more to the wild.

Also, if you disagree, that's cool. My list though~ I love hearing other people's hcs but I am not up to arguing over mine. I know you guys are chill but to ensure we are on the same page :)

(It's a reasonably long list so all of it is under the read more)

Leila and Sahsa: You can't tell me the manga didn't start off with a lesbian love story with a little shit child playing mediator.

Judar: He very gay.

Aladdin: Genderfluid. I just like the idea of him having everyone constantly guessing as a child of chaos. They're also vying to take that title from Judar. I also can't place who the kid will be interested in but none of his friends are around the same age.

Titus: Trans gay guy.

Yunan: Doesn't really have much attachment to gender. He wouldn't really describe it as a lack of gender yet won't turn down using agender. Gender neutrois also works. Uses any pronouns.

Scheherazade: Cupiosexual. She yearns for being able to have sexual attraction but it just never has occurred for her. After a few decades she had accepted it about herself. The most common form of attraction she feels is alterous attraction (often explained as the space between romantic and platonic attraction).

Hakuryuu: He has messy chemistry with everyone. Bi disaster through and through.

Morgiana: Ace and questioning. She hasn't figured it all out yet but her friends are there to support her. (hi, yes, this is me projecting weeee)

Alibaba: Bisexual and clueless. So if you ask, he won't be able to answer but he also picked up on Sinbad's natural ability to flirt with anybody without trying too hard.

Hakuei: Lesbian

Koumei: Bisexual. I mentioned with the art I made on my own blog that I designed Koumei around the bi colors without realizing it. Nothing in my mind has changed to refute that so that's what I'm still going with. I do think it fits him.

Sphintus: Gay. I can see him being biromantic as well, but mostly into guys.

Sinbad: Pansexual and greyromantic. I won't go into it again more here. He's the best most clueless and suave person ever.

Jafar: Homoromantic demisexual. He likes guys but also without any strong connection to go off of he doesn't really register how people can be attractive.

Drakon: Omnisexual. There's attraction to guys, women, and enbies, all slightly different to each other. Preference for women.

Mystras: Also very gay.

Pisti: Aegoromantic. She gets invested in other people's (mainly her friends') love lives, and loves love stories, but whenever she tries getting into a relationship it never sits right for her. She won't mind an intimate relationship though knows it won't be romantic (after a bit of denial). After my brain came up with this I started projecting like hell and I don't give a fuck XD.

Mu: Mspec of some variety. I don't think he will be bothered by either bi or pan. Queer will work just as well. He will be down for anyone, you know? Going off queer history circles I've seen conversations and jokes that no one in Ancient Rome is monosexual. Mu feels like the person it will apply to the most. I'm going with it.

I joked to myself that the majority on Alma Toran are mspec or aspec. With longer lifespans for humans, a good handful are aspec because of the lack of incentive to have kids or families quickly. I would have posted about it last year during my Alma Toran posting in October and during ace week, but alas. I'm now posting it here lol.

Anyway, my Alma Toran hcs:

Solomon: Demisexual. Hasn't spent time thinking about it because he didn't expect to marry so young. It doesn't bother him though, not that he could explain his sexuality well.

Setta: Aroace. All ice mages are aroace because I said so. (except Judar, dude can have as many guys as he wants)

Isnan: Gay

Falan: Bi. Growing up she didn't have the chance to explore her sexuality. She won't deny it if asked though is perfectly happy in her relationship.

Ugo: Bi and aceflux.

Paimon: Also bi. She flirts too much with Ugo not to be (though I do know some lesbians and non-interested in men peeps who flirt with guys for shits and giggles without much feeling. Poison Ivy being the main lesbian I think of for this).

Arba: Non-sam aro. I tried to figure out her sexuality and I know it's not ace, but it's still too wrapped up in being aromantic. Non-sam is the closest I could figure.

Tess: Demiboy. The idea just burrowed into my head and hasn't left so I'm going with it. He is fine with he/they pronouns, yet the only people allowed to get away with calling him little boy are his parents.

That's all I got. For the moment, at least. If I try to figure everyone out I won't get around to finishing this till pride next year. If ever >>. As I said, I may update the list or post a second part.

Remember to stay chill peeps! & Happy Pride!

[elamimax]

Update Time! New Book!!

You know, instead of spamming the people that follow me with updates about stories every day (in between my posts about agent 47), I've decided to just start doing a big chunky update from time to time :) Consider this my new intro!

First off: New Book!

I recently finished publishing Through Verdant Mirrors, which was previously only published as an epub, but is now also available in print!

It is the story of a young (trans) woman who wakes a sleeping, beautiful prince from a tower, covered in vines... and that just, like, the first three chapters!

What follows is an adventure that takes our heroes all across the nation, a confrontation with an ancient evil from a recent past, and some old-fashioned fantasy romance. For fans of classical fantasy as well as more modern works like Shadow and Bone! I'm quite proud and fond of it and the characters in it. We don't have enough straight trans girl rep (and the sequel has some gay trans girl in it too, dw), and TVM is the start of a trilogy that sees our heroine over a period of 10 years go from a young and scared individual to a true powerhouse.

Go check it out!

Up Next

I actually recently finished On Verdant Wings, the sequel! It's currently available for my Patrons but I have also started uploading it to scribblehub, where you can now read the first seven chapters for free! :D

On Verdant wings takes our story five years after the events of Through Verdant Mirrors, where, without getting into spoilers, things take a turn for the Stranger. New countries, new faces and old friends, and a minimum of one (1) dragon. Also this one's a lot gayer, has several transfem and transmasc characters, and sets things up for book 3, which I'll begin writing on first of next month :3

Thirbly: ACAB SPIDER-MAN

A few years ago I wrote a book called Penumbra, which answers the question "what if Eddie Brock was transgender and Venom was nonbinary," a question everyone has been aching to see answered. What followed was an exploration of depression and self-worth even I hadn't really intended that way, featuring several queer and trans characters.

ANYWAY THERE'S A SEQUEL NOW. New protagonist, same world. After the burning question answered by the first one, I ask a new question with the sequel: What if Spider-Man said ACAB?

Penumbra: Redshift is a story about radicalization and deradicalization, about the responsibilities and requirements of having strength to put someone through a wall, and how fucking cool it could be if you could turn into a girl and/or fly. Featuring an extremely bisexual and more than a little trans protagonist, it's a really fun story I'm growing increasingly proud of!

If my readership is anything to go by, it's actually also pretty good plural rep? Which I hadn't intended? I need to talk to my therapist I think. ANYWAY go check it out now! There are seven chapters for free to read on scribblehub and if you can't get enough, twenty-nine chapters over on patreon. (Also you can currently read the first Penumbra for free here for that sweet sweet sad wet loser energy)

You thought I was done??

I've also been working on some new things (not just sequels). Two stories (which don't have professional covers yet, I still need to paint them), called Clear Blue and Far Horizon.

Clear Blue is the narrative equivalent of a friend sitting you down on the couch, handing you a cup of hot chocolate, and spending the next hour telling you how important you are until you cry.

More specifically, it's about someone with terminal anxiety and fear over the way the world currently works who learns to accept that sometimes good things are allowed too by either falling into a painting or having the world's most vivid hallucination. It has food, dancing, the occasional panic attack, and learning to fall in love again. It's also, for obvious reasons, trans. It's short and sweet! Currently Patreon only, but it's going to come to scribblehub (and presumably print) at some point.

It's also getting a spiritual sequel, Far Horizon, which I have started the first few chapters on (also on Patreon) which is going to be a long-form new-adventure-every-chapter story that is all about learning to embrace your life, past, present and future, but all through living vicariously in the moment. Vibes heavily based on @pepurika's Tiger Tiger comic, with, of course, my own twist on things.

Okay now I'm d- SYKE

Another novel! Flipping Out! It's a modern fantasy story about six queer kids who find a magical coin that lets them change their appearance at a whim - but there's some rules attached. Taking place over a period of 15 years, we follow them as they grow closer together, have a falling out, and finally meet back up at a wedding.

This sounds like a coming of age drama.

It's a tense, bisexual, transgender, action thriller crime romcom where these six idiots plan increasingly elaborate heists. Imagine the Ocean's soundtrack playing throughout most of it and you'll get a feel for the vibes. It also has this bit of dialogue.

“Well,” Bee said, “you always did struggle to figure out who the fuck you were.” “You’re one to talk, Miss ‘I’m just a gay guy.’ You took a whole-ass battering ram to your sexuality and you’re giving me shit,” Lisa said with a chuckle. Hers hadn’t changed. Once she’d accepted that anyone could give her the tingly feelings, that had been kind of easy. Being bisexual was a wonderfully universal experience. “Hey, I could still be a faggot.” “What, like a girl-faggot?” “Sure,” Beatrice said, raising her beer. “Girl who is a faggot. That’s me.” “Woah.”

You know, to give you an idea. It is currently being uploaded to scribblehub where you can read the first 5 chapters, but there's sixteen already on patreon, with another estimated 30-45 (ish) to follow. I think it would be cool and sexy of you to give it a look.

Okay now I'm done

So yeah! Lots I've been working on! Check it out, I have a lot of works already finished as well (can be found on my amazon author page if you want a physical copy, smashwords if you don't (though amazon's stranglehold means it is always the most up to date) and on scribblehub if you don't mind clicking through every chapter).

Thank you for reading this far in. If you have, consider recommending some of my works to your friends, there's usually something in there they'll like. I'm pretty prolific, if I say so myself :)

[mistfallengw2]

Finished "What Lies Within", putting my opinion and comments about it under read more

While it wasn't a mindblowing episode or anything, I actually really liked it! It was a nicer-than-anticipated ending to the traumatic stuff, can't believe the commander actually got therapy(!!!) and the plan didn't backfire (as far as we know, that is). Also I live for dialogues and interactions like these, and I absolutely loved how the voice acting got rough on the feels at times (gonna redo it on another character tomorrow to pick the other options). More of this please! And I'm really curious about what the 4th expansion will be like, especially if this epilogue of sorts had anything that could count as introduction to it (that laugh is very interesting).

Still gotta try the updated meta, achievements and extra activities. While I've seen some complaints about it, I don't really care if the meta is not amazing, we have plenty of those already anyway. Sure, story aside it did feel a bit lackluster, but I can only send kudos to the devs for making something compelling even while they're working hard on the mini-expansion stuff.

And I'm also satisfied because I think this will slot well into Aurelia's story and character arc without any rework needed on my part. She does get more company than the canon commander for sure, but letting people truly in was always the core issue and there are still a few walls to tear down between her and her family. Also the set up part was absolutely done in eager agreement with her partner who was busy elsewhere, and Aurelia of course chooses Canach to lighten her spirits up like old times (and they gotta bring that "lesbian and gay friend who go out together for fun" energy to the triple date).

Lastly, Taimi and Gorrik. FINALLY. My cheeks hurt from grinning like a dolt at any interaction between them.

[revui]

blorbo rundown

finally giving updated and halfway sufficient descriptions of 4 out of 16 of the major blorbos that i'm constantly tagging and going insane over. these descriptions are rambly and longer than i thought they'd be. enjoy(? i don't know if that's possible)

blorbo #1 is harker karamazov. a poet. a dragon. genderfluid (he figures this out over the course of the story, at first he thought he was just transmasc). bro spends her entire section of the narrative assuming that the plot goes by jurassic park t-rex rules as in, if she does absolutely nothing then it won't get her. (spoiler he is got). her major conflict is against a fully grown man who treats his obsession with finding and killing dragons like a side hobby. like knitting or cocaine or whatever. harker is a 6/10 blorbo and loses a lot of points for thinking he could escape the lens of the narrative

blorbo #2 is miranda hilton. a human. autistic (no inside voice). requires that everyone likes her all the time forever or she might melt into the floor. unlike hark she is an eager participant in the narrative, not the broad narrative but the threads of a fabricated narrative within the wider story that she has unwittingly woven herself into. she nearly sets an entire town on fire multiple times (and it's always the same town too). her major conflict is against a random teenage boy who would definitely use reddit on earth and unironically say "why don't women like nice guys." he wants to date her but miranda has a girlfriend already so she goes "no thanks man" and he refuses to take that like a rational human being should. anyway miranda is like a 9/10 blorbo and i only dock points because she isn't as pathetic as she could be

blorbo #3 is ignatia twist. a bitch. a perfectionist. comes from old money. one of her dads owns mines. her entire family line for like 13ish generations (i think? can't remember the exact number off the top of my head) has been known for having really powerful magic and naturally using a very difficult casting technique but ignatia actually can't do that so she uses illegal earrings that artificially enhance her magic and allow her to pretend she can hang with the cool kids. she's bisexual. she has 2 dads and they got a hashtag #gay divorce. her major conflict is against a literal actual animal who hates her dads but would prefer to destroy their reputation than just murder them so she tries to frame them for ignatia's murder. she eventually learns to hate ignatia on a personal level. ignatia is a 10/10 blorbo because depending on which point in the narrative i met her i would either ask for her hand in marriage or kill both of us immediately

blorbo #4 is quintilian holmes. a florist. a domestic terrorist. flower demon. he has a disability that's complex to explain but has the most obvious effect of weakening his magic significantly. his magic specialty is literally just blasting things into a fine dust. occasionally by accident (oopsie!). he witnessed the horrors. he's like if sasuke had pink hair. he's bi and he pines for a gay dude but that gay dude is gay for a different bi dude (quin still thinks he has a chance). also he is a domestic terrorist, as i said. blows things up with his girlfriend of three days who is also later the antagonist he goes up against. the moral debate to be had between them is surprisingly complex considering the broad ideas of their feud is quin saying "maybe we shouldn't kill people" and her saying "ok but consider: killing people." quin is a 7/10 blorbo he should've killed people

[savrenim]

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

[missouris-googlehistory]

A change of hearts | chapter VIII

A/N: I am so sorry I haven't updated this story in so long, I've been dealing with school and depression honestly. Sorry if everything isn't super politically correct I am not European so I am a bit stupid on their political happenings. This isn't meant to be offensive to anyone.

-----------------------------------------------------

For a long time things had been going well between Ludwig and Francis. Their relationship blossomed and Germany eventually proposed, with France happily accepting the offer. However they knew there were challenges ahead. The first obstacle was their fellow nations.   

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! FRANCE HOW COULD YOU!?" Was the first response exclaimed after Germany formally made the announcement at a world meeting. The other nations were equally as confused and disgruntled with the match. England marched right up to the German, "YOU BRAINWASHED HIM OR SOMETHING DIDN'T YOU!?". Ludwig, offended by such a notion retorted. 

"Of course not." In a polite yet stern tone, 

"Angleterre that's rude of you to suggest! Even for a connard like you!" Francis stood up to defend his partner. 

"OH I'M BEING RUDE FOR TERRORIZING YOU!? THE MAN THAT HELD YOU PRISONER? THE ONE WHO DESTROYED NOT ONLY YOUR COUNTRY BUT COUNTLESS OTHERS!?" Germany immediately left the room, sensing that he wasn't wanted. A fist fight broke out as perusal between the two nations while the others pondered and discussed the proposal. 

Italy and Japan had followed Germany to make sure he was ok, the waves of guilt hit him all over again. "Maybe Britain's right, maybe France just pities me...maybe I never deserve a second chance or love at all..." He put his head in his hand. 

Italy rubbed his back, "That's not true at all! Everyone deserves love and kindness! Japan and I love you!" Japan nodded in agreement. Prussia who was peering a nearby window saw Germany's sad face. 

He banged on the glass. "Who made you cry like a little baby!? That's totally unawesome!" 

"Just go away Prussia, I want to be left alone." As he muttered the phrase America popped out of the doorway. 

"Yo Germany dude we need a little help in here!" 

"Huh?" The Axis trio went back inside to see France and England on the floor while America tried to separate them. 

"FRANCE DUDE LET GO YOU'LL KILL THE OLD MAN!" 

"YOU DID IT! YOU KILLED HER! I COULD FORGIVE GERMANY A THOUSAND TIMES OVER BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU DID YOU BASTARD!" England was turning blue in the face, 

"That was six hundred years ago you crazy frog!" 

"Frankreich! Ludwig wrapped his arms around the Frenchman's waste and pried him off. Arthur finally stood up and recovered, the others starring at the scene. Ludwig was holding Francis and whispering "it's ok" to help calm him. 

"Let's go back to the hotel so we can all calm down." The German suggested. 

"Why?" England snapped back, "You two can leave the rest of us will continue the meeting."

Ludwig was not one for bragging but Arthur was getting on his nerves, he growled and snapped back, "How are you going to hold a meeting without the two most powerful European nations? You can't talk about the European Union issues anymore since you backed out like eine Muschi!" The room fell silent, Ludwig was not to curse in a formal setting. Arthur stepped back a bit. 

"Well at least let us discuss this 'engagement' of yours." 

"There's nothing to discuss!" 

"We're nations we can't just marry whoever we please!" 

"Oh for Gott's sake do you watch T.V? Or do you not own one because you're so old. I've never seen two world leaders have more sexual tension unless you count Churchill and Roosevelt." 

To which Arthur and Alfred yelled. "HEY!" 

Francis sniffled and looked up at Ludwig. "Allemange it's fine don't worry. Can we just go back? The two of us?" 

Ludwig sighed in defeat, "Fine." The two men gathered their things and left the world to decide their fate.



Back at the hotel they tried to relax, Ludwig poured himself a drink. "Why do you always attack England?"

Francis chuckled and laid on the bed. "Because Mon cher, he is a dick."

"And I'm not?"

"Oui but a cute one."

"Ja but why am I more deserving of forgiveness than him?"

"He killed the love of my life. My very soul was crushed. Not to mention all the other dickish things he did. I know he gave me the plague."

"The plague spread everywhere Liebling."

"Oui but he started it."

"Whatever you say." Ludwig took another swig of his drink



Back at the world meeting it seemed more like a riot than anything else.

"I don't see the big deal dudes, being gay is gay. Who cares? I don't."

"It's not a matter of gay or not, at least not in most countries; it's a matter of alliances." England tried to school the American in politics.

"Oh yea cuz you and France are best friends. Who would marry Germany for the sake of an alliance anyway?" Again the room fell silent. Italy almost raised his hand however his brother smacked it down.

"I don't think it's really fair to pick on the guy eh?" Spain retorted. "Germany mentioned it himself, their bosses get along really well. They old the European Union together Si?" On this most everyone could agree. "Heck I was married to Austria for awhile, it wasn't that bad!" To this the Austrian flushed in embarrassment; Hungary twitched ever so slightly. However the room filled with laughter.

"He is still a person and should be treated as such." Belgium spoke up, which was a surprise to many of the nations. "The world needed justice for what he had done and it was served. Most of our people have moved on and don't even remember the war. His punishment was paid. Even if we don't like to think about it he suffers too."

"Belgium...can you really forgive him?" England asked with concern and shock. Poland was still very angry and made it very clear to the rest of the world. Many other countries had done the same. Yet Belgium and France were different.

"At first I really didn't want to. During one of my visits to France's house we shared what had happened to each other...He told me about how he forgave Germany because you should not live with that kind of hatred towards another human in your heart." 

"Well France is Catholic, you don't have to share his beliefs Belgium, you're lucky he didn't get you pregnant. You have every right not to forgive him, just like Poland." England tried to rationalize her anger, Poland agreed with him as well as a few other nations.  

"Joat but living the rest of my life being angry at my neighbor who I have to see a lot isn't helpful to anyone. Especially me, we aren't humans. We make sacrifices. You and France don't get along well but you still work with each other. Germany still works with Russia after all he's done." Suddenly the energy in the room shifted; It became dark and ominous as everyone turned to the innocent looking nation. "And America."  She quickly added and began to retell the story of the Berlin wall and all that Germany and his people had suffered. "We need to lay this to rest; Maybe their marriage is the best answer. Maybe we can all find some kind of happiness in this. We shouldn't deny him happiness when he's grown so much as a person." 

"Ja, I agree for once." The focus shifted to Austria. "He isn't the only one to blame, and it isn't like we haven't done bad things to each other before. The Napoleon wars were a mess. England killed Joan of arc, and conquered a lot more of the world than he ever did. Belgium had issues with the Congo, Hungary and I had issues with the Serbians," Though he would never publicly admit he was the cause of the first world war. 

"Will their marriage be like most peoples or is it like ours?" Lithuania piped up. "Because they're two guys and we've had arranged negations with two guys before but this isn't for legal reasons, so like...what about the countries who still...don't recognize that stuff?" The focus was again negatively drawn back to Russia and many of the eastern European countries, the Asian nations watched in silence.  

"WELL THEN FUCK THEM DUDE AM I RIGHT!?"  America very loudly interjected the awkward silence. "We basically said their bosses want some kind of weird alliance thingy so whatever! I say we let them be happy! If Francy-pants likes sausage dude why do we have to tell him what's wrong or right?  Like Emma said we're not mortal and unfortunately we all gotta get along whether we like it or not. Yea to us it might feel like it was just yesterday but to the rest of the world it's history, and our pain eventually goes away. I'm not mad at Britain dude for being a giant douche. I got a cool holiday to celebrate! I get to piss him off!" 

"WHY YOU-" England was cut off by laughter. No one really dare to go up against the loud mouthed American, at this point not even Russia cared anymore about the German-Franco union. The meeting was quickly adjourned afterwards and everyone went back to the hotel. 

Luckily the two were met with love and support, everyone decided to go out and party a little since Germany did announce they were now formally engaged. It was cause for celebration, to forgiveness, happiness and a new beginning for everyone. 

Translations: 

1. Frankreich: France - German 

2. Eine Muschi: A female body part - German 

3. Allemagne: Germany - French

4. Mon Cher: My love - French

5. Leibling: Love - German 

5. Joat: Yes - Western Flemish