#anyway i want to give meaningful comments >:V

[one-winged-dreams]

Also prommy I'm gonna get to mutual art here later today I'm just hmmm

[cleanlenins]

Heyo, might I ask what's up with the icaruspendragon v Misha thing? Have a great day!

Not at all! Granted, I may miss something but it is very funny. Also, Icaruspendragon has a tumblr as well. Hi @icaruspendragon !

If you click here, you can watch the whole tiktok series. They are so organized they made a tiktok playlist of it.

Icaruspendragon often talks on tiktok about different fanfic terms, and the influence and importance of fanfic, and explains a lot of the tropes that were created because of fanfic. (They get A LOT of omegaverse asks)

Anyway, at one point Icarus posted a tiktok talking about how their postcard autographed by Misha Collins was fading and it made them sad. So they really wanted to get it resigned/replace. And people rallied to Icarus's cause.

Misha got tagged a LOT. And a friend of Icarus's had a number to text him about it to get Icarus their new card. But instead, Misha decided to be cryptic and cause some meaningful chaos. By saying he commented on one of Icarus's videos and that Icarus didn't even see it.

This started a manhunt.

Everyone was SCOURING Icarus's comment sections, desperate to find the comment that Misha had left. It got dubbed as the Mishapocalypse 2.0 it got so big.

On day like 25 of absolute madness trying to find the comment, Misha texted back like "oops, I guess tiktok hid my comment lol. You should be good because I recommented it!" Which is just hilarious because so many people were DETERMINED to find something that Tiktok was intentionally hiding. Anyway, he literally signed that text as "your nemesis" because why not.

I definitely recommend watching all the videos for these days because Icarus is HILARIOUS and their energy is just 😘👌 I love it.

Anyways, there is a lot of back and forth between Misha and Icarus, both now referring to the other as their Nemesis. Icarus refuses to give up. Icarus even gets a Supernatural Tattoo in all of this for a reason I can't quite recall?

And then Icarus got a ticket to a convention that Misha was going to be at.

Where Icarus confront Misha in person about the comment which lead to it finally being found.

The whole ride is so much fun and was so chaotic to watch in real time and Icarus has probably one of my favorite life philosophies.

Which is to create meaningful chaos.

But I highly recommend watching the playlist in order. It is very fun and Icarus is a really cool person.

[homielander]

ik you said in your tags “don’t get me started on homelander” this season but 😭 def do get started. i’m honestly not sure how i feel about his development this season lmao, like he’s still my fave character, but some of these writing choices had me hm. also think ryan should’ve had way more scene time this season if this was the direction they were heading…

i feel you bestie!! i was thinking about writing a very lengthy post on why i didn't like season 3 sometime soon to get it out of my system once and for all (so that i don't keep annoying my followers and mutuals who liked this season.. sorry lol) but i actually have so many issues with homelander this season that it warrants its own post. so thank you for giving me the opportunity!!

anyway, most of my problems with s3 homelander can really be traced back to one thing

like... it's giving nothing

it doesn't make much sense considering their prior worldbuilding — just in terms of how homelander and supes at large have always been perceived by the public. homelander has been wholly unmarred by scandal up until very recently in the world of the boys (butcher says as much in the first episode). yes, some fringe groups idolize him, but homelander has been carefully crafted to be popular across both sides of the political aisle. and he was literally endorsing a democrat this season! he's never been a trump-like figure, but since the writers were hellbent on him becoming more like trump as the mask slips, let’s consider it for a moment.

the problem is you have to make vought profoundly inept to do it. i don't believe that vought wouldn't utilize every resource and PR trick in the book to restore his reputation. they're extremely image-conscious. so for them to not only reluctantly approve but actually encourage inevitable PR disasters such as homelight stretches the limits of the imagination. and they really didn't have a better CEO backup in place than ashley?? seriously? there were so many obvious plot contrivances that had to first occur in order for the trump-homelander comparisons to fully manifest and that just. irks me deeply. and it's not like they did it for groundbreaking commentary either — while this show has featured meaningful satire in the past, the trumpian homelander stuff offers nothing fresh or insightful and is really boring #tome.

i also feel like, in the last two seasons, they've been able to distinguish homelander as a symbol of american nationalism from homelander the person — so there's the obvious political commentary but running parallel to that is homelander himself with completely separate motivations. homelander as a symbol distributing a weapon of mass destruction (compound v) to terrorist cells around the globe checks the political commentary box. whereas homelander himself just wants to fix a bad situation for madelyn (and it's a similar scenario with stormfront in season 2). this season, those two things merged in a forced and unnatural way and it was extremely damaging to the character. (like, why did he offer supersonic mexican food?? there are exactly two scenarios where he’d care about race — if it could negatively impact vought’s ratings, or to make the distinction between regular humans and supes. we’ve been over this!)

one thing that made homelander feel like a fundamentally different person was how openly aggressive he was all of a sudden? he's always threatened people behind closed doors or operated with just enough subtlety that he has plausible deniability in case he's questioned about it later (unless, of course, he plans to kill the other person). think of the scene with the deep in the seven's conference room in 1.02, or him and stormfront on the film set in 2.06. well that went out the window this season! now he's making vulgar comments totally out of line with his wholesome christian image to a prospective member of the seven, or openly threatening milkshake-drinking a-train in plain view of vought employees, or having a meltdown and considering lasering someone when innocently questioned about EBITDA margins. (edit: this all would have been fine if only they'd built up to it, but we saw this behaviour right away! more on that in the next paragraph)

and you may say, "well that's to show he's losing his grip!" but the reason i didn't like it was because it's not really the direction his character was poised to take at the end of season 2. we saw him in an increasingly tightening leash while his ratings were slipping, which i'd say actually makes it much more likely for him to consistently be on his best behaviour. however, we don't get nearly enough of homelander being forced to cooperate except for one scene with stan where he’s already being pissy, or homelander going out of his way to boost his ratings, perhaps by saving people. (and you know, he does do that. that's why he was so popular once upon a time.) i think kripke said something about how each season, he wants to take something away from homelander until he snaps — this season, it seems like one of the things homelander lost was widespread public support, echoing stormfront's "you can't win the whole country anymore" from the last season. but he hated that idea, remember? he's always chased broad appeal, which is why i was a little confused when ashley expressed that he dropped in ratings in so many demographics and he.... brushed it off ?? i think this whole plot falls flat for me since we don't really get to see homelander trying to win the public back (and fail). we can't feel the extent of his loss (and seemingly, neither does he) or the full force of his relief when some nutjobs cheer him on anyway. it should have been a very straightforward arc but they skipped some key steps (it wouldn’t even have taken much time! all they really needed to do was indicate that there had been prior PR efforts) and it made the whole thing incoherent.

instead of seeing this process, we get #homelight, which we're told is a great PR strategy. i'm not so sure that the optics are favourable here — he's been said to be a mentor figure to her, there's a significant age gap, she visibly cringes when they're standing in close proximity of each other, and worst of all, dating a blonde white girl after his last scandal was due to his involvement with a nazi is..... a choice. i already have a lot of trouble buying it — i think vought would put forth a much safer option for a PR relationship. nevertheless, i suppose this sets up a potentially interesting dynamic... only for it to remain completely unexplored throughout the season.

think about it! the antithesis of a superhero interacting, non-contentiously, with the true superhero of the series!! both raised as products, but ending up wildly different. there's a lot to unpack there from a storytelling pov. i've also always thought that thematically, it would fit best for either hughie or annie (the most likely option based on this season) to take homelander down, so establishing a relationship (i don't mean a romantic one) between them now would have made that future so much more compelling. idk if there's an opportunity anymore given that annie has left the seven. it's incredibly clear that the purpose of that little plot thread was pure shock value to get more conversation going after the first three eps.

[that also highlights larger problems with the season imo. 1. a refusal to give us new, interesting character dynamics (though expanding on the MM/annie dynamic was delightful) 2. a lot of evolution randomly occurring during the time jump so that some characters start s3 super different from how they ended s2 — which is so jarring! 3. annie can have no flaws even though she was learning to embrace the "whatever it takes mentality" during all of s2 and 4. a bunch of scenes existing solely for shock value and nothing more]

in general, s3 homelander was super dumbed down (i wrote a bit more about it here) and imo, lacked the emotional depth of the prior two seasons. apparently antony starr himself asked kripke to tone it down and not write homelander as a bumbling fool, which is when you know the situation is dire😭😭

link to interview

even the one scene i've seen garner a lot of praise (and i liked it a lot too!) — the mirror scene — contributed nothing new to his character (which i really think it should have done if you're going to write something so direct, but that's just me). it only reiterated what we already know: he wants love, is sorely lacking parental figures, can rely on himself and nobody else, and so on. i'll retract this if they plan to do something interesting with mirror!homelander à la black noir in the comics, but that feels too creative for the writers who came up with this season and patted themselves on the back for it. a homelander alter-ego has also not been hinted at prior to that scene, nor after it, so i'm not sure i'd even want them to go there. the point is, if that's the highlight of the character's emotional arc all season then idk... that's not great

there were other opportunities to add some emotional weight, particularly with maeve or noir or soldier boy, but the way those scenes were framed didn't really give the audience any opportunity to feel for him.

when it came to black noir, everyone was obviously far more emotional about his death, and rightfully so. meanwhile there were no allusions to homelander's complicated history with noir, which is a baffling choice considering this is the last we'll see of their onscreen dynamic. based on the last episode of the boys: diabolical (said by show creators to be canon and even dubbed "required viewing" for s3 by kripke), noir was instrumental in turning homelander into one of vought's puppets who kills out of convenience. emphasizing this would have added more depth to their final scene (from homelander's pov) but instead it comes off as him throwing a hissy fit because he was lied to... which we've already seen! at this point it's just played out.

found a screencap of the ep! it was only 20 mins iirc but it was a neat bit of background

then we have homelander's confrontation with soldier boy. one of the core themes of the season has been the downfalls of toxic masculinity, yet we're supposed to cheer for soldier boy calling his son weak and emotional and a pussy (as highlighted by butcher and maeve's satisfied, triumphant smirks in the seconds following). it just made a lot of their prior commentary ring hollow, because there's no reproof of this attitude — it's fine if it's directed towards homelander, apparently. (tw sa i'm not sure this was their intention, but they've been having tonal issues of this nature since season 1. for instance, the creators have expressed amusement at the scene where the deep was sexually assaulted and that episode did not come with appropriate content warnings like 1.01 did — again reinforcing the idea that "this fucked up thing is actually okay if it happens to a fucked up person. you can cheer." and the audience did!)

the one that hurts me the most personally is maeve and homelander, because all of the complexity that made their scenes some of my favourites of the series was sucked away. i talked about it earlier here and here (linking because i don’t want to repeat things). it was most evident during their final fight scene, though, because it was literally just a brawl devoid of feelings on either end. it was supposed to be a moment of epic catharsis for maeve, but she didn't say anything impactful or even express emotions that i could latch on to beyond a couple of smirks. and i didn't get a sense of what homelander felt beyond mild annoyance at the start. the emotional emptiness of their fight sequence is especially glaring when contrasted with their showdown in the season 2 finale, which was so much shorter and yet was packed with soooo many more emotions. 

the only other place they could have added some emotional beats is with ryan. unfortunately their reconciliation felt entirely unearned. ryan in the finale had me scratching my head. i agree with you — we should have had 2 full eps of homelander trying to win ryan back at minimum if that's where they were planning on taking him.

i guess my final complaint is a larger problem with the season, which is that the power-scaling has gone to shit. it was implied in s1 that homelander could take nukes, but maeve punched with enough power to halfway crack the floor or dent a cabinet and that was able to make him bleed. maeve's attacks should have been shown to be a lot more forceful if they were going to write the scene that way. the other problem is that maeve plus one more powerful supe (temp-v butcher, for instance) seems like enough to take homelander on, based on the way that fight was progressing. this destroys the notion they've been parroting all season of homelander being on an entirely different level than everyone else. (further, i feel like it negates the need for soldier boy and paints the main gang’s drastic actions as idiotic and callous.) most importantly, it takes away from the terror of homelander quite significantly, which was such a rich source of tension earlier on in the show.

all in all, i think homelander in s3 was pretty bad, and not in an entertaining way. a lot of people seem to like that he's becoming more batshit, which is cool and all, but that's never been the most captivating part of the character. the largest source of praise i saw for this show going into it was how they managed to revamp comic!homelander into a character that was terrifying in his competence and felt distressingly human despite being the most powerful man alive. at this point, i'm annoyed merely seeing him do progressively crazier things all while most of the elements of the character that drew fans to him in the first place are discarded for the sake of lazy political commentary.

[butch-reidentified]

butch-reidentified !!

you almost definitely don't remember me but you replied to my message a few months ago; 15y/o radfem, it was just after i'd peaked, i was telling you about how i was able to stop wearing makeup & how it was a big deal for me.

anyway i remember your response & the comments under it were so insanely nice i just wanted to tell you how things r going atm, and how tbh none of it would have been possible without you.

a week or so after roe v wade was overturned i had reached my Fucking Limit and had to find out if there were people offline that thought the way i do, so i printed out some radfem-based posters (with credit) and hung them up around the park and little locations around my town with an email separate from my own attached. tbh i was a little scared for a response because i thought it would either be someone's father telling me i'm lucky to have access to a vote or some dumb shit, or someone younger telling me i'm a disgrace to feminism based on my egg-centricity or whatever.

i did get a few messages like that but also three radical-leaning ladies came through !! two girls and a woman from my area, who i've met with twice irl since the posters and speak frequently with online. they r very very intelligent and we try to challenge each other and use nuance and things. it's just very very nice to have a community offline and if you can go about it safely i'd encourage everyone else to find like-minded women you can speak with.

i haven't been on here for a little while, but holy shit you got married :DD !! i just wanted to thank you and to say congratulations & i wish the two of you a life of happiness.

Omg of course I remember you, are you kidding?! Your message meant so much to me. For those of us who are gnc radfems, a huge part of what enables us to continue being gnc, even when it gets really challenging and people are cruel, is the belief that we can help younger women and girls be freer through leading by example. Showing them hey, I don't own heels or makeup and I'm twice as happy for it - not in spite of it. So when someone like you reaches out like you did, it gives us strength and hope for all women and girls. It tells us that our efforts and our struggles are worthwhile and achieving something meaningful.

I am so genuinely ecstatic and proud to hear about your organizing! It is crucial (not to mention good for the soul) to have like-minded women/girls around irl, absolutely. I hope you know how strong you are. It took me several years beyond 15 to start finding my strength and voice as a woman, and into my 20s to find radical feminism. You're way ahead of me and I'm so here for it! I hope you continue building relationships and moving forward, and I hope you find fulfillment and joy in it. You deserve to ✨️

Thank you so much for the update. It really made my day. I'm glad things are going well for you, and thank you so much for the congratulations and well wishes! We couldn't possibly be happier 😊

[the-scarlet-witch-22]

Chaconne: Part 9 (Agatha Harkness x Fem!Reader)

Summary: With the first concert of the season approaching, you continue working as the personal assistant of Maestra Agatha Harkness, while attempting to juggle your relationship and future in the process.

Word Count: 5K Words

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCfDtxcFoyM

A/N: Hello everyone! Welcome to Part 9 of Chaconne. One quick thing...I have decided to extend this story by just a few parts, I really don’t want to rush through the ending and there are a few more things I want to write haha. Anyways, I included a link to the first movement of Dvorak Symphony No. 9, and it’s briefly mentioned throughout the story so if you feel inclined feel free to listen. I really hope all of you are still enjoying the story, and that you enjoy Part 9! As always, please feel free to leave a comment and my asks/messages are open if you have any questions :)

Tag List: @annie-mit-ie​  @celasteria​  @danvers97​  @imthedoctorlove​  @mcfriggingonagall​  @meowsaidmissy​ @notsosecretlyalesbian​ @sarahp-stan​ @scarletwxtxh​ @scarletmeltstheice​ @shinkomiii​ @sxfwap​ @thestrangeundoing​ @teenwonder​ @upsidedowndanvers​  @venticalooks​  @vintagegoddess12​  @everythingmarvelsherlockspn​  @thoroughly--confused​

You weren’t sure how long you were frozen on stage, completely lost in your thoughts before the sound of Agatha’s heels came clicking from backstage. Just as you managed to clear your head of Wanda’s offer, the alluring scent of lavender invaded your senses. Even from a few feet away you could hear the conductor mumbling to herself about god knows what. As soon as she spotted you, however, the ramblings immediately stopped.

“Ah, there you are,” Agatha said, offering you a rare but genuine smile as she set her belongings down on the podium. “I see you set the stage.���

Nodding you motioned across the hall. “It didn’t take too long but I gave the winds extra room like you requested.”

The conductor nodded before curiously eyeing you. “Are you alright, dear? You seem distracted.”

Well you could tell her that her least favorite concert pianist had just suggested you move to Vienna. Or how Wanda was apparently aware that there was something going on between the two of you. A part of you did think it would be important to inform Agatha of that, but you also didn’t want to make the situation any worse than it already was.

You quickly nodded and gave her a reassuring smile. “I’m fine. Just a bit tired.”

Agatha’s eyes searched yours for a moment before nodding and turning her attention to her Dvorak score. A few minutes later, various MSO musicians arrived and began unpacking on and off stage. You eventually headed out to sit in one of the front rows, and you realized you never told Monica that she would be getting a new stand partner.

Luckily it didn’t take long for the violinist to enter the hall, followed closely by Jimmy and Darcy. Her face lit up when she saw you, and went to set her violin down in the row you were sitting in.

“Hey Y/N,” Monica greeted you brightly, before frowning when she noticed something was amiss. “Where’s your violin?”

“I...I’m not playing with the MSO anymore,” you explained quietly, watching Agatha berate the second chair oboist on stage for the way she tuned. “Hayward had blind auditions to fill the chair and I didn’t get it.”

“That’s whack,” Darcy immediately replied, causing Jimmy and Monica to glare at her. “What? It is.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Monica said sincerely. “You’re really talented, I hope you know that.”

“Yeah and it’s only one audition,”  Jimmy pointed out. “Hayward’s always been a bit hard headed when it comes to filling seats, especially if it’s someone he picked.”

“It’s okay,” you insisted. “And Monica you’ll be getting a new stand partner so I’m sure he’ll be really good.”

“Which one is he?” Darcy asked curiously as she scanned the hall.

You discreetly glanced around the room before you found him. He was already heading on stage, violin in hand. You hadn’t really paid him much mind before the audition, but now you seemed to notice every detail about him. The sure way he presented himself as he practically strutted up the stage. His rigid posture as he sat in his seat, as if that was a comfortable way to sit.

You motioned your head to the stage and Darcy let out a quiet snort. “Oh good. John Walker.”

Monica rolled her eyes at her friend. “You know this guy?”

“Of course I do,” Darcy replied. “I know everyone.”

“What’s his deal?” Jimmy asked curiously. “He seems a bit...”

“Like he has a stick up his ass?” Darcy guessed, and Jimmy laughed.

“I was going to say uptight, but sure.”

“Walker fancies himself to be a bit of a prodigy,” Darcy explained and shook her head. “He’s good, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not amazing. I played a few gigs with him last summer in the Hamptons and I dreaded every moment spent in his company.”

“I’m sure he’s not that bad,” Monica argued before giving you a sympathetic glance. “Sorry, Y/N.”

“You don’t have to apologize, I agree with you,” you reassured the violinist. “I’m going to go see if Ag- Maestra needs anything before rehearsal so I’ll see you guys later?”

Agatha was leaning against the podium, drinking her water when she saw you approach her. The conductor appeared exhausted again, and you made a mental note to make sure she went straight home after rehearsal.

“Is there anything you need me to do?”

Agatha handed you her spare Dvorak score. “I’ll need you to tell me how the sound projects through the hall. We’ll be running the first movement today and I need to make sure the opening cello theme is clear enough.”

“Right, and if something isn’t clear what do you want me to do?”

“Well you could always throw something at Dottie,” Agatha suggested. “That would certainly get my attention.”

“Very funny,” you deadpanned. “I’m being serious.”

“As was I, dear. Dottie needs to look up from her music more. Perhaps that would encourage her to do so,” Agatha replied nonchalantly before sighing at the look you gave her. “Fine. I’ll ask you at the end of the movement what your notes are.”

“You mean my notes on sound projection, right?”

Agatha shrugged. “Or any suggestions you have on how to improve different sections. I...” the conductor paused and glanced around the hall to make sure no one else was listening in. “I do value your opinion.”

Your felt your heart sing at those words, and it took everything in you to not grab the older woman and kiss her senseless. Instead you gave her a bright smile. “Well I suppose I can try really hard to come up with a few meaningful suggestions.”

Rolling her eyes at your words, Agatha shook her head. “Try not to make me regret my decision, dear. Take a seat a few rows back, I’ll be starting rehearsal soon.”

Sure enough, just as you took your seat Agatha had the orchestra tuning before instructing them to start at the beginning of the first movement of the Dvorak. You loved every movement of Dvorak Symphony No. 9, and while you adored the fourth movement, there was something quite special about the first. There was this beautiful building intensity that started in the strings before slowly rising to include the entire ensemble. It was passionate, colorful, and left you eager for more.

As much as you loved performing, and you did more than anything, you found yourself enjoying getting to observe the rehearsal from your seat in the audience. It allowed you to focus on so much more than when you would be sitting in the first violin section. Before you never saw how Jimmy appears to have his entire part memorized since he usually has his eyes locked on Agatha the entire time. Or how talented Darcy was. You knew she had to be a good percussionist to be subbing for the MSO, but she performed with so much energy you found it hard to tear your eyes away from her.

Then there was Agatha. The conductor appeared lost in the music as she mindlessly conducted, but you swore you never saw anything more beautiful. Every single time you had the privilege of watching her conduct you swore she kept finding new ways to draw you in. How someone could make the simple movements with a baton and her hand so enticing. She had so much energy in her while conducting, and the love she had for the music was so clear in her eyes. What was even more fascinating to you was how easily the rest of the orchestra seemed to follow her. All of her cues were perfect, and she never missed a downbeat. She was by far the best conductor you had ever seen and you would never tire of getting to see this side of her.

The movement progressed and you turned your attention to the first violin section. Monica was was entirely in her element, and you immediately felt a slight pang at not being next to her on stage. You had a few stand partners who had been lovely over the years but Monica was better than all of them combined. She was so precise in her playing, and her technique was absolutely flawless. But what made Monica so unique was how genuinely kind she was. A lot of violinists were so focused on their craft it didn’t matter who they stepped on to get their way, but it was clear Monica didn’t play by those rules.

As you felt your eyes wander, they landed on the new violinist. John Walker. He was...good. The egomaniac violinist inside of you wanted to argue that you were better, but you shoved those comments away. For one thing he used far too much bow on his tremolos, and you were worried he was going to send his bow flying across the stage with the way he was holding it. Then there was his posture, he sat so rigid in his seat. After a few moments, you realized you were sounding more and more like Agatha.

Tearing your eyes away from the first violin section, you wrote down a few notes on sound quality throughout the movement and forced yourself to stay focused. The movement progressed and you couldn’t help but note how good the orchestra was sounding. Granted Agatha ran them hard, but it was clearly paying off. They were good before, but they were finally playing with more of a purpose. Unfortunately, you didn’t think Agatha felt the same was. As soon as the final chord rang out, the conductor whipped her baton on her stand, and you could tell she was angry.

“I don’t know where to begin,” Agatha spat out as she flipped through her score. “That was the saddest attempt of Dvorak I have ever heard in all my years of conducting. I’ve worked with youth symphonies who sounded better than all of you combined.”

Personally you felt Agatha was exaggerating a tad, but you watched her continue to rant.

“Woo, your projection is eons better than before but I still need more,” Agatha called out to the winds section, and you saw Jimmy shoot up in his seat as the conductor called his name. From the percussion section, Darcy also appeared to notice Jimmy’s change in posture and she glanced over and shook her head at you.

“If the rest of you could play as well as Woo I doubt we would be having this conversation but alas,” Agatha sighed, before tapping her baton on the stand. “Flutes, I’m starting to wonder if all of you are deaf or just enjoy the sound of my voice berating you, because what the hell was that? Jones, all of your solos are splitting my brain open. Either work on your intonation and have it fixed by tomorrow morning or I’ll be moving you to second chair.”

Dottie slouched in her seat and you bit your lip. Agatha had lost her temper before during rehearsal but this was slowly starting to get worse.

“I don’t have to time to rerun all of this because we have the idi-Miss Maximoff joining us shortly, but please turn your attention to measure seventy-five,” Agatha instructed the ensemble, before turning her attention to the first violins. “First violins, I need this melody to be sweet and light as we begin, don’t give me too much too soon.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the new violinist raise his bow to ask a question. Oh good. That would definitely end well...Agatha continued rambling on about vibrato and tone, seemingly unaware of the violinist and a part of you hoped perhaps he would simply move on and ask the question later. But it appeared he was the persistent type as he cleared his throat to get the conductor’s attention. Although you were positive Agatha heard him, you were a few rows back and the sound was clear as day, she continued her rant, ignoring him completely. At this point the rest of the orchestra seemed aware of what was going on and everyone seemed to be waiting for Agatha to acknowledge him.

“Maestra? I had a question,” The violinist’s voice boomed through the hall, and you internally winced as you watched Agatha whip her head to look at him.

“Ah yes, our new addition,” Agatha said briefly, as she eyed the violinist. “John Walker, is it?”

He nodded. “I hate to interrupt Maestra-“

Agatha cut him off, appearing to grow more uninterested with every word that came out of his mouth. “Yet you still proceed to act like a privileged toddler to get my attention, so please, Walker, what is it?”

“I merely wanted to suggest a different approach to measure seventy-five,” John explained and he had far too much cockiness for your liking. “I know you feel it’s best to take a softer approach, I was always told to start with a bigger sound then slowly decrescendo. It’s just a suggestion.”

There was another pause as Agatha stared at the violinist with a calculating and cold stare. A part of you wondered if this would be the day she finally snapped and whipped her baton at someone. You had heard rumors of a betting pool the interns had on when Agatha would inevitably strangle someone for making her too angry. You had thought they were being a bit drastic at the time, but seeing the way she was looking at Walker was making you reconsider that.

“Thank you for sharing your very generous suggestions with us, Mr. Walker,” Agatha replied, and there was emphasis on the word suggestions. “I’m not sure if you are aware of where you are, but this is my orchestra.”

John frowned at that, and once again unwisely opened his mouth. “Maestra, I wasn’t attempting to overstep. I just thought I would offer my opinion on how to make the section stronger.”

“Ah yes, my mistake. I must have forgot when I asked for your opinion,” Agatha retorted. her temper appearing to grow more and more heated. “Would you like to offer any other suggestions, Walker? I’m positive the entire orchestra is simply dying to hear your words of wisdom.”

This time John remained silent, but you saw how darker his appearance grew at being called out in front of the entire orchestra. Agatha appeared satisfied by that and she tapped her baton against the stand again. “Lovely to see the newbie catching on. Measure seventy-five.”

The rehearsal of Dvorak continued to drag, and you marked a few notes for suggestions like Agatha had asked you to. You would occasionally check the clock, wondering when Wanda would be arriving since the orchestra was set to rehearse Rachmaninoff at 8:30 sharp. Eventually the doors to the hall opened, but instead of Wanda entering the room it was one of the interns Agatha hadn’t managed to scare away during her early reign of terror. The intern appeared nervous about something, who knows what, and they quickly sought you out.

“Y/N, you have to tell Maestra Harkness that Miss Maximoff won’t be attending rehearsal this evening,” the intern told you, and it looked like they were going to pass out from the fear of having to tell Agatha.

“Wanda’s not coming to rehearsal?” You asked curiously.

The intern quickly nodded. “She’s sick.”

Sick? You had just seen the pianist a couple hours ago and she appeared fine, but maybe she just came down with something. Giving the intern a small smile, you stood up. “I’ll tell Maestra, don’t worry.”

“Thank you,” the intern said sincerely. “I’m pretty sure if I tell her she’ll find a way to fire me.”

The intern hurried back out of the hall and you slowly made your way to the front of the stage, hoping Agatha would call for the orchestra to take a break so you could make your move. With there only being a few rehearsals left until opening night you knew the absence of a soloist would send the conductor over the edge. But hopefully her strong dislike of Wanda would lighten the blow. As if the two of you were telepathically connected, Agatha turned around as you approached the stage and signaled for the orchestra to stop.

“Let’s take ten,” Agatha instructed them. “Have Rachmaninoff ready by the time we come back.”

The musicians all but hurried off the stage, and said hello to the few you had gotten to know over the past few weeks. Darcy caught your eye as she walked down the stairs and motioned her head to where John Walker was standing by his case, rolling her eyes in the process. You swallowed the laughter that threatened to escape as you went to join Agatha on stage. It didn’t take the older woman long to realize something was wrong.

“If you’re going to say I was being too hard on Walker, don’t,” Agatha quietly warned you, and it was apparent she was still fuming.

“I need you to promise me that you’re not going to throw a temper tantrum after I tell you this,” you said, and your tone was light, but Agatha gave you a look.

“I do not throw temper tantrums,” the conductor hissed as you motioned for her to follow you backstage.

“Of course not, Maestra. Your outbursts are completely normal for a woman of your-“ you quickly paused as Agatha arched an eyebrow at you, clearly unamused.

“My what, darling?” Agatha questioned, giving you an unconvincing glare as you laughed.

“Your stature,” you corrected yourself.

“You’re on thin ice,” the conductor warned you. “I’m not sure I like how easily you tease me.”

“Coming from the woman who’s done nothing but tease me since we met I think it’s only fair,” you offered, and Agatha smirked. “But really, please don’t freak out.”

“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I’ll have no choice but to tie you up and force the words out of you myself,” Agatha mused, causing you to blush, which made her smirk grow wider. “Ah, do you like the sound of that, darling?”

“The rest of the orchestra is only a few feet away,” you warned her as she took a step closer to you. “If our relationship is supposed to stay private wouldn’t it be a bit unwise to...”

“Oh no, dear, don’t stop using your words now,” Agatha practically purred, she closed the distance between you, lightly shoving you against the wall. “We’re just getting started.”

“Agatha, I really think maybe we should do this somewhere-“ you began to say, and you truly had every intention of trying to be the rational one here, but any remaining brain function you had left was erased as Agatha’s lips began trailing up your neck, occasionally stoping to nip at skin. “Agatha...”

“Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?” Agatha whispered against your ear, the warm air of her breath sending tingles down your spine. “Or do I need to encourage you a bit more?”

“I don’t know how you doing this is supposed to encourage me to talk,” you argued, and bit back a moan as the conductor bit down on your earlobe.

“I’m just trying to help, darling,” Agatha insisted, pulling you impossibly closer to her as you were pressed against the wall. “I can help even more if you would like.”

“Wanda’s not coming to rehearsal,” you finally managed to let out with a gasp, and Agatha paused her movements at that.

“Darling, I know I’m a bit distracted but I believe you just said the Sokovian dingbat won’t be at rehearsal,” Agatha said slowly, as if she was trying to wrap her brain around what you just said.

Unwrapping yourself from the conductor, you nodded, trying to gauge her reaction. “She’s sick so she won’t be in attendance today.”

Agatha scoffed, shaking her head at your words. “Wanda Maximoff doesn’t get sick and miss rehearsal. I was-I worked with her long enough to know that.”

“Well that’s what personnel told me, so I’m not sure what to tell you,” you said, and you found yourself stuck on what Agatha had almost said. What wasn’t she telling you?

The conductor took a moment to pull her phone out of her pocket and her frown deepened even more. “Oh for the love of...” Agatha trailed off before whipping her phone against the wall, shattering it in the process.

You jumped at the sound, but Agatha barely seemed to notice you as she was entirely too lost in her thoughts. “Agatha, what’s wrong?”

“Cancel the rest of rehearsal,” Agatha said dismissively as she straightened her sweater. “Those idiots are infuriating me far too much and without Wanda we won’t make any progress on the Rachmaninoff.”

Gaping at her, you took a moment to process what she said. “You’ve never cancelled rehearsal before. Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Now, Y/N. I have something I need to do,” Agatha said before storming out of the room, leaving you alone.

To say the MSO musicians were relieved Agatha had cancelled the remaining two hours of rehearsal would have been a vast understatement. You swore you never saw half of them move so quickly when you gave them the okay to leave. Since Agatha had apparently left for the day, you took the liberty of grabbing her belongings and dropped them off in her office on your way out. It wasn’t out of character for Agatha to lose her temper, you had grown used to her yelling and ranting. But her outburst backstage was unlike anything you had ever seen before. There was something the conductor wasn’t telling you, and while you had no idea what it was there was a sinking feeling in your chest that it had something to do with Wanda. Regardless of how curious, and anxious, you were over Agatha’s abrupt exit, you knew there was no good in worrying. She would tell you what was wrong...right?

It had been two days since you heard from Agatha. You received a call from management personnel early Saturday morning informing you that the conductor had cancelled all weekend rehearsals due to a stomach bug, which made you immediately go to call her until you remembered she left her shattered phone backstage. It wasn’t unusual for you to go a day without hearing from Agatha, the conductor valued her privacy and you respected her enough to give her what she needed. But after the practical smothering you had received from the older woman since the blind audition, it left you with a gut feeling that you had done something wrong.

What were the odds that Agatha was sick mere hours after storming out of rehearsal? They were slim, and it didn’t take a genius to tell you that. You had told Sam and Bucky what happened, and while they thought it was suspicious they also agreed that giving Agatha space would be the smartest move. Rationally speaking you knew that everything was fine, it just would have been nice to have received confirmation from the woman you were worrying so much about.

It had been a long time since you last had a Saturday off, so you spent your weekend watching Disney movies and napping while trying your best to keep your mind off Agatha. In fact you had been so distracted with the radio silence from the conductor that you almost forgot about Natasha Romanov and Vienna. The keyword being almost. You knew you needed to make a decision on if you were going to meet with the violinist, and you needed to make one soon. There was no guarantee Natasha would even choose you for her group, but still you found yourself imagining a world where you were performing in Vienna and finally getting to live your dreams. Only those dreams seemed somewhat bittersweet at the prospect of having them without Agatha. It was cliche being this attached this soon, but you couldn’t help it. You had never felt this strongly for anyone you dated before, there was something so different about Agatha that kept drawing you in.

Would it be fair to her if you moved to another continent when you were just starting your relationship? You knew she was concerned you would leave the Symphony after not getting the chair placement. While she had never directly told you, it was what made the most sense when considering her recent behavior. You didn’t want to leave her, you really didn’t. Agatha had given you so much while asking for nothing in return.

But the voice in your head asked if it was fair for you to stay somewhere you wouldn’t be happy. Would you grow to resent your job, or Agatha by association by remaining on as her assistant? Sam had been right when he said there were other jobs in New York City, but you knew nothing here would compare to the Manhattan Symphony Orchestra. While quitting would allow the two of you to date publicly, maybe, it would also ruin any chance you still had of hoping to join the MSO. Was that something you were willing to sacrifice? You had a lot you needed to consider, you just wished Agatha was there to help you.

Monday morning came far too quickly for your liking. You were anxious to see Agatha, to make sure she was okay, but you also had to make up your mind on whether to meet with Natasha Romanov. Wanda had sent you a polite, but short, email late Sunday night asking if you made a decision or not. You were still just as torn as you had been all weekend, and sadly this was a decision only you could make for yourself. As you exited the coffee shop, you were slightly surprised to see Agatha’s car waiting for you. The rear window was rolled down and Agatha had her gaze fixated on yours. Giving her a small smile, you approached the car while balancing both coffees.

“Good morning Maestra. Fancy seeing you here.”

Agatha rolled her eyes before helping open the door. “Yes yes, good morning dear. Please hurry up and get in before I have Hank leave without you.”

“You’re in a mood today,” you said lightly after making yourself comfortable in the vehicle. “Rough weekend?”

Agatha grimaced at your choice of words before shrugging. “Oh it was fine. A lot better since I didn’t have to hear those morons butcher Dvorak on Saturday.”

You gave her a look as you motioned to your coffee. “Oh right, your stomach bug? Maybe this won’t sit well then, should I give it to Hank?”

The conductor all but snatched the coffee out of your hands, glaring at you. “Funny, as always darling. I’m feeling much better now.”

So she was sticking with the sick story. As much as you wanted to press and find out why she stormed out of rehearsal so suddenly, you thought it best to not start a possible argument this early in the morning. Besides, Agatha wouldn’t lie to you, right?

You decided to take the safe approach. “Well I should probably keep my distance in case you’re still contagious. Wouldn’t want to catch anything.”

“If that’s what you think best, dear,” Agatha replied. “I would hate to get you sick.”

That’s how things remained the rest of the day. Agatha was clearly not over whatever upset her on Friday, and it appeared she wasn’t willing to share her troubles with you. So you did what you did best, and ignored the persistent voice begging you to talk to her. You busied yourself with various tasks both in and out of the conductor’s office. Opening night was in two weeks and there was much to do still. Even though Agatha had promised to be nicer to the interns, it appeared her generosity had run out as you began counting the number of crying individuals sent running from her office since lunch. Her mood was only growing more and more unstable as the hours passed, and even you found being in her company to be slightly unbearable. Agatha was clearly stressed, and you understood she was under a lot of pressure, you just wish she thought of healthier outlets to relieve it.

Towards the end of the day you received yet another polite, yet persistent email from Wanda and you knew the time had come. On one hand you wanted to ask Agatha’s opinion on the potential job, for you valued her opinion over anyone else’s. But the fear of a fight, especially over something involving Wanda, was enough to make you realize now was not the right time to bring up a potential move to Vienna. Plus you were only meeting with Natasha, it wasn’t like she was going to offer you a job on sight. There would be little to no harm in setting up a meeting. Then you could talk to Agatha.

Satisfied with your decision, you sent a quick reply to Wanda stating you would be interested in meeting with Natasha before heading back to Agatha’s office. Hopefully the conductor had enough time to cool down to consider leaving work within the next few hours. However, when you opened the door you were surprised to find her hunched over her desk, eyes locked on her laptop. She didn’t appear to hear you enter, and a part of you wondered if you should leave and come back later. Ultimately deciding that you would stay, you lightly knocked on the door to attempt to draw her attention away from the screen. It worked, only when she finally looked at you, you saw something unfamiliar in her eyes. Fear.

“Y/N...” Agatha trailed off, and you could practically see the frown lines become embedded in her skin.

“Agatha?” You barely recognized the sound of your own voice as you approached the conductor. “What’s wrong?”

Before the conductor could reply, your phone began to repeatedly ding. Pulling it out of your pocket you felt your heart sink at the notification. You had several texts from Sam, Bucky, Monica, even Darcy, but what caught your eye was an article from The New York Times.

‘Agatha All Along? An Inside Scoop to the Alleged Affair Between MSO Conductor Agatha Harkness and Concert Pianist Wanda Maximoff’

[esther-dot]

That interview of Martin subverting exoectations it's what makes me dread John's ending. Because show ending and s8 was about subverting expectations instead of giving the character a satisfactory ending.

PS: sorry if This question reach you two times. I lost My connection and didn't know if the ask was sent.

Is there a new interview in which he talked about that? I remember one in which he was highly critical of creators who changed things because fans guessed it. Has he said something else?

Personally, I really don’t know what to make of Martin’s comments sometimes! He has said that people figured out his ending years ago, but he wouldn’t change it, and I’m pretty incredulous that people called Bran becoming king of Westeros that early. I always assumed those comments had to be about Jon’s identity (which naturally leads to the speculation of him being endgame king) because there’s so much R+L=J foreshadowing early on in the series. Maybe he meant he wasn’t going to up and decide Jon isn’t Rhaegar’s son just to mess with people, but damn, is that referenced a lot knowing he won’t be king.

That’s why I’m a believer in the Jon and Aemon parallels as foreshadowing for how Bran becomes king. Jon’s parentage has to play a role politically (IMO), and it’s very satisfying that a Targ (I mean, the kid is a Stark, but you know) places a Stark on the throne to right an ancient wrong when they were forced into subjugation. It’s also a very good way to end the Targ history of family v family (some of which Jon will have to partake in) because peace will be made by a Targ refusing a crown/throne and instead giving it to a brother, and thereby, ending the Targ claim forever. Like, it’s very tidy how it cross references so many things in the story. I just reblogged the wonderful drifting-snowflakes post about Jon giving up the throne to be with Sansa because it seems this is the only way to justify so much emphasis on Jon’s parentage without him becoming king. It has to be about the solution otherwise it feels like a red herring? It also places all the power in Jon’s hands. He isn’t forced into a role by society, he is given a choice and he chooses not to be king, he chooses to not be a Targ, and then Sansa gives him everything he ever wanted. Which is self serving because what do you know, Jon’s everything she wanted too. ☺️

And, all of that would count as a subversion of expectations, so you don’t necessarily have to be afraid of that. I’ve written some stuff and I can tell “well, this is what should happen next” and then out of sheer perversity, wrote a joke instead of the romantic or dramatic beat. Sometimes that’s fun for a writer and the reader because it’s a surprise! Subverting the expectation of what happens next doesn’t have to be about punishing your audience. D&D just…well, I think they despised the audience by the end. The finale felt very mean spirited!

Anyway, Jon in Winterfell is the ideal. Should the best happen and we get Jon married, living in Winterfell, overseeing the Gift, we will all be very happy. Should the worst happen and Jon goes to the Wall after refusing the crown, I’ll hate it, but I still think we can find solace because either way, I think Jon will have a child with Sansa because of some suspicious quotes that make me 👀👀👀. And, even if he deserves to live the rest of his life in Winterfell, I think Martin can write a choice of self-denial in a meaningful way. If Jon chooses to give up a crown and live in the North, to fix the Watch and oversee the Gift as LC so that he can be near Sansa and his child, even if he can’t be with them in Winterfell (for some inexplicable reason), that’s still something. If Jon sacrificed everything, even his freedom, to secure peace and protect his family, to hold his son in his arms, he’d think it was worth it. And if the he believes that, we will believe it too.

Personally, I’ve accepted the worst, but it doesn’t make sense to me, I don’t see the build up for it, so I’ll always hope for the best. Either way, all is not lost. Whatever happens, Jon will be at peace with his decisions, and he will have some joy, one way or the other. It just sucks that we’re still unsure! 😩

[sitp-recs]

Collapsed in Love by @tackytigerfic

Artwork by @bogglebeans

Harry/Draco (2020, Mature, 3.5k)

This close, it’s easier, with his face in Harry’s curls—smelling of smoke and sky from the night flight across London—and the long smooth stretch of Harry’s solid flank under his hand.

“Do you want to put some music on?” Harry asks, and his voice is slightly blurry with tiredness and the low dirty edge of desire as he shivers into Draco’s touch.

“No, it’s good,” Draco says. “Just… keep talking. I want to be able to hear you.”

He worries about Teddy all the time, especially since he started school, and Teddy, who’s been loved all his life and is confident that he always will be, has no compunction about being a little shit to the people who care about him. And Harry cares about him the most.

Happy Valentines Day! Haters will say I gave this fic the big spot because it was written for my birthday... and they would be right 💁🏻‍♀️ I still cannot grasp the idea of deserving such a precious gem, featuring one of my favorite tropes, written by one of my favorite people, but I got treated anyway and I will forever cherish this fic - which means making a decent rec for once, because I still wasn’t able to put my thoughts into words and write a comment on AO3, shame on me. 

Anyhoo forgive me if I’m biased but holy shit, this fic cured my depression. I wanna say you should definitely read Modern Love first, in order to learn these characters, their individual journeys and see how far they’ve come - and sure, the things that happen here will resonate deeper once you do - but if you have no time or energy to invest right now I say fuck it, you still deserve a nice treat on V-day and honestly, proposals don’t get any lovelier than this. I never cared much about this particular trope but after CiL I can say I’m sold and charmed af by the concept!

The first highlight aka the first thing that pulled at my heartstrings in this fic was Harry’s absolute and undeterred devotion towards Teddy, and the way Draco just... sees it and understands it. It’s such a wholesome experience to watch him watching Harry watching Teddy and vice-versa (omg the parallels with By the Grace, Tacky!) and to witness the layers of mutual care and reverence wrapping these characters’ lives together! The second highlight is Harry and Draco’s domestic routine, full of quiet intimacy and fond familiarity, they’re like old lovers coming together after a long, exhausting week. There’s so much trust and understanding dancing between them, both spoken and spoken, and it takes my breath away. Besides, sneaky Tacky knows that a casual conversation about Ron's good looks featuring possessive Harry and a helpless Draco defending himself was bound to put the biggest, stupidest smile on my face 😳

Finally, the proposal! I love how it’s both casual and meaningful and so them - from the setting to the dialogue to the choice of ring (perfection!!), the scene screamed not only Draco and Harry, but this Draco and this Harry (seriously, go read ML first) and it gave this universe and the characters we met and love a perfect closure (let’s not use this word yet, I am not done with the ML verse!). So thank you Tacky for writing a 3k established romance and still giving me a lump in the throat and an ugly crying face on my own birthday, you horror. We were all lucky to get more of the magical little universe you created, now with this gorgeous sequence of slice-of-life vignettes. I’m honored to be the recipient of such a powerful, honest and touching love story, which happens to be the sequel of one of my all-time favorite fics! Like @the-starryknight​ said, you are SHORT FORM ROYALTY!

There, hopefully this Valentines card to Tacky made up for the lack of a comment 2 months later. Can we also take a minute to discuss the gorgeous and delicate artwork @bogglebeans​ did to go with the fic? I don’t know how BB guessed that this greyish tone of blue is one of my favorites but this was perfectly crafted to meet my aesthetics and I hate that I had to crop it to fit into the banner format, but you can see the full original here. To anyone else: go read this right now!

Read on AO3

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Lisstennnn I love the boys but tbh if u notice the western artists they collab with or “look up to” are very mainstream, the type to make songs you hear whilst shopping at the mall u know what I mean? Like no doubt they have a couple bangers but cmon anyone that has worked in any clothes store is TIRED of artists like Ed Sheeran, Halsey, Shawn Mendes, Justin Beiber etc. And I hate to see the boys having them as inspirations bc they end up w songs like PTD which are not very good compared to their songs in Korean and I feel like Army is just giving them the views, trying to reach the “goals” and shit withou really liking the songs which isn’t good cause they are just gonna keep making songs like thisss😭 I love my boys but PTD was kinda eeh for me. Lmk what u think 🥺

Hi! Thank for the ask, first of all. People rarely read or respond to my posts, but tbh I can't blame them. I don't even think my posts always show up in the BTS tag lol, and I talk too much. Anyway...

I find it super ironic that BTS seem to love artists that make the kind of music a lot of Armys don't want. The thought of a BTSxJB collab makes me shudder. I love the music BTS make but often not the music BTS listen to. Still, Agust D, RM's music and collabs, Hope World, some of the vocal line's solo songs (especially V's) are not at all the kind of music they've recently said they listen to. Is the music they make and the music they listen to inherently different, or are they just making music that fits their "concept" and the musical identity they've carved for themselves and not necessarily the kind of music they want to do?

This also makes me think of something else, which is that Army literally goes on and on about Black Swan, but BTS have never once said they love the song. I honestly think it's another one of their songs they enjoy but don't think about much. I bet most of them prefer Butter over Black Swan. Some of their favorite songs from MOTS:7 were Zero O'Clock and Louder Than Bombs (both mellow tracks). That's kind of why it's not surprising that they're going in this direction - not only because of the popularity thing, but because they do like more generic pop music, and don't mind doing it (especially if it's only three songs so far).

I think BTS will be surprised by the reaction to this song. When Butter came out I (and some people) didn't like it, but the comment section here and on reddit was mostly positive. The song is cool and trendy. But that's not the case this time around. PTD sounds like a HSM song, and that's not exactly what's fashionable right now. On here and on reddit people have been dissing the track a lot. I don't know what's going to happen in terms of streams and stuff, because Army is powerful and the song might be well received by the GP, but I think they will reach the lowest point in their careers since Dynamite. I don't think the song will bring in a huge number of fans. It won't be a "flop" or whatever, and it's not a title track so it's fine that it doesn't perform super well, but it might hurt them more than benefit them in the long run. They're a lot of disgruntled fans right now and I think their image will take a slight hit. This is the culmination of fans' worries and complaints about their English releases. This time they don't have the excuse of the song being good or a bop. It's truly not a bop, so even Army is outright complaining.

I know people want the song to not do well so BTS can learn a lesson, but even if the song doesn't do well they won't change their current direction. Once the pandemic is over they might drop another Korean album like MOTS:7 and BE, but these albums still have songs that are more poppy and generic than desired. Their next album will have people complaining and their next songs will be blander than the norm too. This is just BTS now imo. Fans talk about ON and Black Swan - and, yes, those songs are amazing and creative - but MOTS:7 also had tracks like Louder Than Bombs and WABP: The Eternal, which, to me are American-y enough. However, fans like those tracks. Current fans don't mind the more American pop sound as long as there are meaningful lyrics and BTS put their own spin to it. BTS will never go back to their Wings era. I don't mind that because I love LY: Answer and MOTS:7 is my favorite album (even though I don't like all the songs). The point I'm trying to make is that, no, BTS won't stop releasing Butter-style music. We can hope that with PTD not doing amazing (it will probably do much better than expected), BTS might try to release a darker song or something.

Sorry for the rant. What do you think?

PS: Am I the only one that felt genuinely embarrassed for BTS watching the MV and listening to the song? I know it's stupid but this was the first time I felt kind of embarrassed being Army. There's nothing wrong with liking 1D or HSM, but, yeah...

Thanks for the ask :)

[andsmile]

do you think b/rchie is bad for betty?

I’ve been postponing answering these questions because...welp. I talk about BA too much, but you guys seem to enjoy my discourse, so.

I think I have to be clear that I don’t think that fundamentally Archie and Betty are bad to each other. They’re “good people”, they’ve been friends their whole lives, in a bubble where you have Archie and Betty growing up together with their friend Jughead or without their friend Jughead and they date other people along the way etc, Veronica shows up or doesn’t, but BA end up together, childhood friends to lovers or whatever it is that attracts the shippers, I think it’s whatever. 

It’s just another ship and it’s a valid one. Archie is fundamentally a good character, he’s not gonna hurt her or anything, and Betty is fundamentally a good character, she’s not gonna fuck his life or something. 

Even though the idea of them bores me I think that if written the right way, they can be good and interesting. If you want to write a fic about how their journey went I am pretty sure your fic will be a good, compelling story, and it might even be as in character as possible for characters we met in the pilot...in season one, if I stretch.

H o w e v e r, and my point every time I explain why I don’t like BA, 

These two characters don’t exist in their bubble. They don’t exist in the universe you created. They exist within a certain universe that is already established by four seasons of a certain canon, portrayed in a certain way, and I don’t think some people realize how this universe is established:

In the canon universe, Archie and Betty had childhood crushes on each other. Archie moved on, Betty didn’t. She confessed her feelings and dreams, that are very paralleled to becoming her sister and Jason Blossom. Then, Archie rejects Betty because he doesn’t have feelings for her and even though he says to her that it’s because she’s too perfect for him (and he says that because he feels guilty for hurting her) it’s not what he said to the girl that caught his eye before (I have never felt whatever I’m supposed to feel with Betty is a the line he says to the girl that caught his eye, and yeah okay we could play into the denial narrative but then two seasons later he tells Veronica Ronnie, when I first met you, you were it for me so I think Archie knew exactly what he was supposed to feel) and Betty got sad for a bit, but she moved on and found a connection with Jughead. Who was Archie’s best friend. And even if Archie felt jealous or not (I have said before what I think about his jealousy, and BAs have called me delusional, but anyway), that’s what happened. Betty found in Jughead both a boyfriend and a best friend and became the power couple that had nothing to do with the childhood dream. Archie got with the girl who was “it” for him from the beginning and went through hell and back for her. Every once in a while, they look over their shoulders to each other, especially when things with Jughead and Veronica are shaky -- and boy, they’re often shaky -- and are reminded, in different intensities and timings, of things they could’ve been.

This is the canon narrative, and if you support BA in canon understanding this, that’s probably fine. But most people go by some narrative created by the great majority of the BA fandom that, essentially, says that the story these four seasons of canon is telling us is a bunch of lies. That the Archie has only dated who he did (three woc) because he couldn’t get his hands on the perfect, virginal, white girl-next-door that he wasn’t ready for. That Betty’s main character traits, that have only actually flared up after she got over him, changed her and made her someone insufferable, and that she was better around Archie, even though he didn’t feel anything for her before. A narrative that reduces Betty to a girl who actually found out who she really was so she could “claim her prize”, and that reduces Archie to be “her prize”, because none of his choices matter either. He was just regretting making “the wrong choice” all the time. In the middle of the way, this fan-created narrative still says that the very deep and meaningful relationship Archie has with a latinx is just sexual. It also says that the very deep and meaningful relationship Betty has with Jughead is “rebound”, “incest”, “bland”, just because it’s not sexual enough, according to them. Even though it is. But of course, the main and the latinx woman are all about sex. Betty and Jughead act like siblings, they’re boring. Archie and Betty? The perfect combination of the main and the virginal, perfect girl who can’t do no wrong. But now the main sees that she isn’t perfect! He knows her better than anyone, even better than her boyfriend/bestfriend, even though they haven’t interacted in years. And now that she has proved herself not perfect, not virginal, she can be with him, and she won’t be oversexualized even if she is--they’ll be crazy about each other, romantic! Exciting!

If you support this made-up narrative in the bubble of Riverdale, you are invalidating all the growth and the choices these two characters have done in four seasons of content. That’s why many reviewers that aren’t up on the idea of BA stemming from the comics or in the idea that the show “needs a change”, said “this was so out of character for them”, because it was. You reduce their journey as characters and turn them into each others love interests and that’s all, they’re nothing else. And you do that in the expense of friendships (that aren’t well developed but that we are still meant to believe in), the entire character of Veronica (I will never shut up, if you think Veronica is a bump in the road for Archie you are simply an asshole), the gigantic amount of trauma Archie’s been through, the gigantic amount of change and growth Betty’s been through aaaand---

The comics! That’s an usual argument I see around to be pro-BA in the show, because they stem from the comments, and it always flabbergasts me because...the ARCHIE COMICS? REALLY? Who basically created the girl-next-door stereotype in the 1940′s and numerous Betty’s have been portrayed here and there always taking all the bullshit from their husbands who are often pursuing the “Veronicas” of the world and coming back home where they wait and suffer for them? I can mention at least 10 characters from the media that are made in Betty’s molds and the cathartic moment for all of them are when they finally get the fuck away from their “Archies” who never love them enough, but then you have, in the very AC live action, the actual Betty Cooper’s character who makes a vow with Veronica for boys not come between them, look over her shoulder and stop focusing on Archie for the first time in seven decades to focus on someone else in a cinematic moment that should go to feminism in media (I swear) with how symbolic that shit was, and you want... you really want... her to go through this so soon in her journey so she gets Archie as her prize in the end?

You cannot convince me you are a fan of Betty Cooper in any universe if that’s what you want for her.

So, yeah. I think BA is bad for Betty. I don’t think Archie is bad for Betty, I don’t think Betty is bad for Archie, but I think their ship in the canon context of Riverdale and the ~representation game they play, it’s a menace. You can all send me inboxes again saying people should be able to ship whatever they ship - and they should. And they will. I won’t change that. I am only giving out my opinion, and I stand by it. 

[ladyc0312]

A Jikook Guide to Run! BTS: 1-20

Hi all! Welcome to part one of my overview of all jikook moments in Run! BTS and Run BEHIND. 

My biggest takeaway from these early episodes is that BH didn't quite know how to make a good variety show yet. Some of the set-ups are awkward and the guys are clearly still getting used to being on camera in this format. The jikook moments aren’t as frequent or obvious. As we go on, expect less “they look at each other in a maybe meaningful way” and more “then he sat down in his lap...” That said, this set of episodes includes both the priest skit and the cops skit, so if you’re into role-play, this was your era of Run!

Episode Guide under the cut, to avoid both spoilers and taking up half your dash...

UPDATED PER THE SUGGESTIONS OF SOME LOVELY COMMENTERS. THANK YOU ALL! New content in bold. 

FYI: When you don’t see “BEHIND” descriptions or photos, it means there were no notable jikook moments. I’ve given each ep a general rating and a special Jikook-ery rating, both out of 5. YMMV!

Ep 1  (n/a)

The one that’s just a commercial for the V app

Ep 2 “The Greatest Man” (Ep: 3 / KM: 1)

The one with the most homoerotic series of challenges I’ve ever seen to prove who’s the “best” man

6:28 - Jimin TWICE randomly announces during musical chairs that JK will win 

Not ikook-specific, but FYI, Jungkook REALLY likes being tickled. If you want a vague idea of what the beginnings of an OT7 orgy might look like, the scene at 2:09 is for you! And if you’re curious what each member looks like putting on lipstick and holding their mouths open, check out 4:24. 

Ep 3  “Theme Park” (Ep: 1 / KM: 1)

The one at Six Flags that’s not worth watching unless you enjoy shaky camera footage of people screaming on roller coasters

5:44 - When Jimin is proud of himself for having ridden a coaster, JK goes to say something to him but keeps glancing at the camera self-consciously.  

6:19 - With the camera further away, JK and JM talk with each other while waiting on line

7:06 - JK fast-walks to get to JM and then leans on JM’s shoulder to check the post-ride pictures

Ep 4  “30 Second Gate” (Ep: 1 / KM: 0.5)

The one where they do fairly boring challenges in a pool

5:26 - There’s a super brief instant of JK looking over at Jimin while shyly tugging on his shirt collar. Prob not even worth being noted as a moment, but JK looks so adorable that I’m including it anyway

Ep 5  “100 Seconds Sports Day” (Ep: 1 / KM: 1)

The one with a rather repetitive relay game

5:56 - JM playfully throws a milk carton at JK when JK fails to complete his task

7:53 - JK does some “teleporting” where he goes from being behind Suga in one shot to next to JM in the following one. He stays next to JM the whole rest of the time they’re mixing the drink. 

Ep 6 “Sketch: Confession” (Ep: 2 / KM: 4)

The priest sketch that launched a thousand AUs...

3:30 - Jungkook comes in to “confess his sins” to Jimin, who is playing a priest and calls him “darling.” JK confesses to using Jin’s razor while also claiming to be the eldest in BTS. Jimin tells him that he’s so handsome, it must be that he’s blessed by God and can be forgiven for most things. Jimin tells JK to give him a hug to get forgiveness for his sins. As they hug, both are smiling and the onscreen text tells us how happy Jimin is and puts a little heart next to his face during the hug. Jimin strokes JK’s cheek after and it seems to make JK a little shy. Jimin calls out “bye, darling” as he leaves, then calls him “cutie” for the camera.  For comparison’s sake, Jimin hits V on the forehead and makes J-Hope do 50 push-ups to earn forgiveness. He hugs J-Hope at the end of it and the difference between how that hug feels versus the one with JK is clear as day.

Ep 6pt2 “Sketch: Confession” (Ep: 2 / KM: 0 )

None (neither appear in this episode)

Ep 7 “Paintball” (Ep: 1 / KM: 1)

The one that reminds you paintball is more fun to play than to watch

I’ll be honest, guys, between the masked helmets they’re wearing and the constant cutting around, I cannot follow the paintball games in this episode at all. I’m going to go out on a limb and say nothing particularly shippy happens during them. 

9:54 - JK picks up Jimin from behind and bounces him around for a while (we don’t know how long because the camera cuts before he’s done). It will be revealed in ep. 10 that this is part of JK’s secret mission, which is to get Jimin to say “please stop.” However, despite Jimin not looking thrilled at all the bouncing around, he doesn’t tell JK to stop.

Ep 8 “Treasure Hunt” (Ep: 2 / KM: 2)

The one where they run or ride ATVs to find flags in the woods

1:15 - Jimin says out of nowhere that he thinks JK is going to be running and tells him to be careful not to bump into anyone (I think - the subs are a little weird on this one).

13:09 - JK tries to take one of JM’s meal ticket flags. JM refuses and claims JK called him “trash.” JK (kind of?) denies this and throws his one flag on the ground in frustration. J-Hope grabs it and JK sulks a bit because he’s left with nothing. 

13:33 - Jimin reverses course and gives JK one of his flags. JK is delighted. RM asks why (apparently he, Jimin, and V had a deal to share their flags?) and Jimin just responds that Jungkook is very cute (which the on-screen texts puts a heart next to).  Jimin ends up giving a flag to V, too, but he makes him beg like a dog first. 

14:16 - Jimin calls JK over and gives him a brief hug / pat on the back

Ep 9 “Bungee Jump” (Ep: 1 / KM: 0.5)

The one where it is what it says on the tin

11:25 - Some jikookers have reported hearing JK say an un-captioned “pretty” here (sounds like yebbeo or yeebeun in Korean). I’ll be totally honest that I can’t really make it out, but I will put this note here in case others with better ears than mine want to check it out!

13:59 - JM has his arm around JK at the start of the shot here

Ep 10 “Spy for Silmido Island” (Ep: 2 / KM: 2)

The one where everyone eats a meal as they learn how JK has been doing secret missions the last three episodes

6:16 - JK explains that he failed his mission to get Jimin to say, “please stop.” We see flashbacks of JK trying - in addition to the above picking JM up, JK also pulled on his hair and gave him a shoulder rub (there is no explanation for why he thought that would be something JM would tell him to stop), and spraying him with a water bottle.  The main jikook takeaway from this and the confession episode seems to be that JM will let JK get away with anything because he think he’s cute. 

7:00 - We see that JM inadvertently made JK fail his mission to feed the camera man because, when JK held out food, JM got JK to feed him instead

Ep 11 "Back to School" (Ep: 3 / KM: 1)

The one where Suga dresses as a girl and gets hit on by the rest of the band

21:28 - Despite Jimin doing nothing but smiling in the sketch, JK says he's the day's MVP and is weirdly sincere about it

24:05 - YMMV on jeon-lous, but he does indeed do the tongue thing here when JM is flirting with girl-Yoongi

Ep 12 "Cops" (Ep: 4 / KM: 4)

The police sketch that launched ten thousand AUs...

6:46 - "Detective" Jungkook pulls "criminal" Jimin away by his collar 8:41 - After Jimin acts cute and says he's bored, JK comes over and slaps his upper thigh before throwing Jimin over his shoulder and slapping his butt. When JK puts him down, Jimin just looks at him with a dazed smile for a moment before they continue on with the sketch.

9:30 - Jimin tries to flirt his way out of of JK’s interrogation, which JK says is for “setting fire to ARMY’s hearts with his smiling eyes.”

10:25 - After a brief interuption by “Captain” Suga, the interrogation starts having flirty vibes again, with JK smirking and making eye contact while Jimin acts bashful and speaks in a whispery voice. 

11:00 - JK holds a fake gun on JM as he starts his “Lie” dance, during which he directs finger hearts towards JK. The camera focuses on JM and, by the time it shows JK again, he’s lowered the gun and put his other hand over his heart. The on-screen text says “Detective Jeon’s heart is attacked.”

12:55 - JM and JK switch roles so JM is the detective. He hits JK over the head with a book. JK has basically no visible reaction, but JM has clearly flustered himself. 

Note: To explain my reasoning for these originally not being here - if you look at the other skits in this ep, they are all accusing each other of doing things to ARMY’s hearts and being weirdly flirty with each other. Like, this police station has some serious sexual harassment issues all around! That said, the vibes are unique with jikook and, upon rewatch, I came to agree with y’all that the above should’ve been included. 19:30 - Alternate version of the sketch where Jimin and JK have a dance battle that ends in both of them being put in the jail cell and told to dance.

BEHIND  0:58 - Jimin flirt-ily calls out "I'm bored; play with me, Detective" (presumably to JK since they're scene partners).  Note: Adults saying they "played" with each other is a common way to describe hanging out in Korean and doesn't necessarily have the sexual connotations it does in English. 

4:08 - Jimin stares at JK as he does squats

Ep 13 "The Spy Who Returned Part 1" (Ep: 4 / KM: 2)

The ones where they play games at an indoor water park

1:00 - Jimin does an exaggerated running motion and JK slaps him to make him stop, which JM finds funny

1:43 - JM has his arm around JK 

6:00 - JK jokingly(?) tells JM his wet hair looks cool

11:12 - JM calls JK their team's ace and they whisper about who he should call out from the other team 

Ep 14 "The Spy Who Returned Part 2" (Ep: 3 / KM: 2)

16:04 - JM jokingly hits JK for getting the answer super wrong and then they go down the waterslide together. (Note: I've seen some jikook-ers claim JK messed up on purpose so the game wouldn't end and he'd get to ride with Jimin, but I'm not sure there's actual evidence to support that theory.)

The moment that led to the picture below isn’t in the ep or the BEHIND, but I raised the episode’s KM score a full point for it

Ep 15 "The Spy Who Returned Part 3" (Ep: 3 / KM: 2)

TW for this ep: 5:14 - during the confessions game, Jin tells Jimin that whenever Jimin asks if he put on weight, Jin wants to say he looks like a pig. Jimin claims to not be upset after, but looks like he's going to cry and seems off for a while. Then, at 10:45, Jin reiterates that Jimin "got fat." Everyone laughs except JK, who widens his eyes and then starts chewing on his finger.  

6:37 - Despite being on the same team as JK, Jimin joins J-Hope's complaints about JK coming to their room uninvited, saying that JK often brushes his teeth in their room. He accuses JK of buying the exact same toothbrush as Jimin’s and complains that they can’t tell them a part. JK says it wasn't him and then there's a weird cut to sometime later when Jimin is sitting back down again...  Just prior to this, Jimin is looking unhappy as Hobi tells a story about JK seeing him naked, but it’s hard to tell if he’s reacting to that or feeling upset about Jin’s weight comments from the previous round. 

16:02 - Jimin defends Jungkook against accusations that he's the spy

BEHIND 4:30 - Jimin sits on Jungkook's lap and, when he leans over to try to get Jin to give him food, JK puts his hand on JM's hip to steady him

Ep 16 "Snowpark Winter Olympics" (Ep: 4 / KM: 1)

The one where everyone plays winter games 

4:35 - When JM and JK are the finalists for the sledding round, JM thanks the viewers for their support. JK asks "what does that make me?" and yells/sings badly, which makes JM laugh. I don’t quite get it, tbh, but they seem to be enjoying themselves

14:50 - JK helps JM get his sled in place

BEHIND 3:02 - JK smiles as he gets pushed towards JM on the ice 

Ep 17 "Arcade Olympics Part 1" (Ep: 2 / JK: 2)

The ones where we are reminded that playing arcade games is more fun than watching people play them

All of this and next episode, whenever they all reshuffle positions, Jimin and Jungkook end up standing next to each other. This happens pretty frequently in Run BTS generally, but it was particularly noticeable in this ep since it's not like they're on the same team or anything...

4:16 - When Jimin does a dramatic DDR finish, JK calls attention to it. JM turns to him and they lock eyes for a second

15:00 - JK cheers Jimin's name when it looks like he's going to win the basketball game 

BEHIND

3:36 - JK & JM play a 4D game together Also, JK has an interesting mark on his neck on his right side that does not appear to be there in the episode itself...

Ep 18 "Arcade Olympics Part 2" (Ep: 2 / JK: 1)

3:30 - JK tries (unsuccessfully) to coach Jimin on the driving game

3:45 - JK stands up for Jimin and says he's getting the hang of the game

14:36 - JM & JK laugh together at RM's failure

19:58 - It's not super clear, but it sounds like JK calls JM "Jiminie" at the end of his sentence

Ep 19 "Strike" (Ep: 2 / JK: 1)

The one where BTS go bowling together and end up bowing down to JK

4:47 - JK shares that he and Jimin used to bowl together

---

If there’s anything I’ve missed or that anyone has different interpretations of, I’d love to hear it. 

More episodes coming soon! 

[vintage-brass-tc]

Band Camp ||  7/27-31/2021

Wow. This week of band camp was amazing!! I’m smiling from ear to ear just thinking about it. I’ve met so many people, done tons of hard work, learned new music, etcetera. But beyond that, of course, I had the opportunity to get to know M even more than before. 

M has been absolutely phenomenal the entire time. His attitude, his voice, his outfits, just everything. I forgot what it was like to be directed by him, and even the feeling of being around him for a long period of time left my memory after a while. 

But having it happen again, for more than five hours a day….it’s like he never left. Being with him is like being home; I feel tranquil and safe by his side. I’m so glad he’s back. 

Enough with me rambling, I’ll list some highlights from the week above!! 

(For some background, one of my peers had noticed that my sousaphone was causing a great deal of pain to my shoulders and neck, to the point of leaving marks on my skin. They decided to reach out to M about it without me knowing.) Onto the story.

||||||||||||||||||||||||

I was late to the marching grid. After walking across the parking lot with my sousaphone, I made a little dash to my section’s usual spot and set my water jug and instrument down as fast as I could do so without being reckless. With my now free hands, I remained next to my things and paused to observe the grid in search for my section. The kids were warming up, walking along the lot’s border like it was a track. 

I attempted to scan the area once more for the tuba section, eventually finding someone that I thought looked like one of the members. They were more towards the left, so I began to move towards them. To my surprise, before I reached the beginning of the grass by the lot, I noticed that someone was approaching me from my left.

After witnessing what was in the corner of my eye, I turned to clarify whether the person speed-walking in my direction was actually who I thought it was. Yep. It was M who was approaching me. And he was giving me a more attentive look than usual. I felt my face twist slightly in nervousness. I thought he was going to question my tardiness.

When he came to a stop two feet away from me, his demeanor, I noticed, was careful and understanding. He was bearing a light smile. Despite this, I was still anxious. “Don’t worry about (the)—“ He began, before being cut off. “I’m sorry. That was my fault,” I interrupted before shooting a disappointed look his way. His face expressed a more sympathetic look after my statement. “Don’t worry about it,” he reassured me, tone slightly softer now. He then got more serious.

“I heard about your shoulder.” He commented. “Oh..” I gave him an awkward smile. He returned it kindly, telling me that if I ever felt too overwhelmed with things— like a headache, lots of pain, etcetera—, that I should feel free to sit down out of the field for a while. “I don’t want you to pass out,” he finished.

I looked to my right, at the other kids, then back at him. “I can’t do that to my section…” I stated. He frowned a little before smiling again. “It’s okay.” He paused slightly. “You come first.” Following his previous speech, he provided some more words of comfort. With my heart feeling warm and fuzzy, I thanked him before running to my dot on the field.

~~

Some kids and I were called to the front of the field by M’s (newly appointed) assistant director, U. I made my way with my instrument to the front of the field before turning back towards all the other kids. When all was said and done, I looked left to be greeted with a smiling and giggling M right beside me.

He wouldn’t make eye contact with me at all, even after I let a confused giggle escape from my mouth at his behavior. I think he was looking at the floor or his phone. Maybe he saw something humorous. Whatever it was, I’m glad it made him smile.

~~

During our lunch break, I noticed M was walking around the place with a cardboard box in his arms. I wasn’t sure what was in it, but it was pretty big. Without waiting any further, he approached my section. “Where’s R?” He asked, before locking eyes with me. I sat up straighter to look up at him from my spot on the ground.

“Do you want a towel?” He asked me with a hint of hopefulness in his voice. “You can put it on your shoulder so it doesn’t hurt. (Like a shoulder pad.)” He grabbed a couple of the light blue towels, then turned his wrists back to place them over each of his shoulders as a demonstration. 🥺 

I smiled at his genuine kindness. I wasn’t too sure if it would help at all, but I really did appreciate his attempt at trying to help me. I let out a small, slightly confused chuckle before replying, “I’m okay, thank you though.” I didn’t want to inconvenience him anyway, even though he had offered.  He talked a little bit about wanting to get the tubas shoulder pads to avoid this issue, all the while looking at me for a majority of the time. His expression was soft, with relaxed eyes and a caring smile. It was so heartwarming. I thanked him once again and he took it as a cue to keep on moving and talk to some other groups. The whole rest of the lunch break I couldn’t stop thinking about it…he was just so open and sweet to me. In front of everybody else. 

With these thoughts swirling in my head, the clock struck the time where my section would usually get going. We all got up, and I quickly swallowed the remnants of my food before walking up to M, who was actually right next to me. He was turned the other way, so I decided to verbally request his attention. 

“Sir.” I spoke. It took him half a second to turn back and meet my eye. Immediately, his face was attentive and ready to listen to whatever I had to say. “Thank you…for caring.” I felt emotions wanting to spiral up but I pushed them down. I didn’t really want to start crying in front of him anyway, especially since we stood two feet apart. 

“Of course..!” He gave me a slightly goofy smile, like I had said something silly. “I was worried.” He stated, “I don’t want you to get blisters.” I felt my fluttering heart grow warmer, making it even harder to keep myself together. I was so fond of this guy, and seeing that he actually cares about me…it just meant a lot. Still does. ❤️

“Aww…” I put my right hand on his shoulder, gave it a light pat with my palm, and grazed my thumb against it wholeheartedly. “Thank you.” We held our silent but meaningful gaze for what felt like forever before I lifted my hand off of his shoulder. “I’ll let you know if anything happens.” I told him. He nodded. “Okay.” We then went our separate paths for that work hour. 

~~

This is a very small moment, but I keep thinking about it.  I was in my sectional room, sitting idly while my section got off topic. While I let myself drift off into my thoughts, I heard the faint murmur of M’s voice. It sounded like he was speaking to someone else. Now more alert than before, I began to gaze out of the open door beside me, where the noise came from. 

While I was looking out the door, I saw someone walk past it. It didn’t take long for me to figure out it was M, accompanied by someone else. The whole time he was moving forward, though, instead of looking at the one beside him, he was focused on the door as well…. causing him to gaze right back at me. 

So we locked eyes from when he first passed the door to when he finished passing the door. It was only a second, but it felt prolonged somehow. I wonder if he thought about that too, if only a little bit. 

~~

He passed in front of me while everyone played a segment of one of our pieces. I saw him bob his head back and forth at the tempo like a bird would do when walking. His face presented furrowed eyebrows, a slight squint, and a smirk. Like he was feeling the rhythm. 

After the rep, he turned over to us with a very proud, determined, and excited expression on his face. He then pointed at me. “YES.” He told me before going down the line of tubas to point at each one. “YES. YES. YES.” He then backed up a little bit so he could stand more towards the middle area, where everyone could see him. “I want to hear that every time.”

After that very happy moment, he positioned himself between us and another section, listening on and on for the rest of the time. He was really feeling it with the sousas’ playing. That’s so awesome.

~~

M said a joke, smiling, after V told the band to always turn counterclockwise. Upon hearing M’s comment, I couldn’t help but furrow my eyebrows and shoot a quizzical smile his way. He had said this the previous rep as well, but with little to no response from the kids. Normally there would be a chuckle or two, but I remember that time being silent. 

I could be wrong, but since there wasn’t a reaction like the usual to acknowledge his thought, he may have been searching for a hint of a smile, at least, from anyone. And on the subject of searching, I just happened to be one of the first people he thought to look at. 

A second passed after his words, and I noticed that his head, which was previously moved slightly to his right, began to turn more in my direction. He had seen my reaction and nodded a few times at my frazzled expression, smiling openly with his teeth. 

Seeing his cheerful attitude, I grinned and adjusted a little on my dot. I couldn’t hold back a shake of the head and a few breathy chuckles at his poor attempt at a joke.

~~

“Mr. [M]!” I called as he walked towards the stairs of the main hallway. He didn’t hear, so I ran closer. “Mr. [M],” I called once more, causing him to pause and turn to me, “I need to show you something..!!” He was quiet for a second as he looked in my eyes, noticing my excited demeanor, and bearing a small grin on his face. He appeared entertained. 

“What.” He didn’t hesitate to take a step over to me and lean over in my direction slightly, which was pretty unexpected, so I felt my heart stop. He probably saw my surprise, so he stopped in place. “Ummm!!” I sang out as I pulled up the photo. I then happily twisted my phone over to display the picture straight at his face. I was now gazing at him expectantly for any sign of a reaction. 

He blanked. He was pretty caught off guard seeing the photo. He didn’t know what was going on, so it took him a moment to process it all. 

Two long seconds passed before he cracked, furrowing his brows and letting out a snicker, which then caused *me* to laugh. Right when he snickered, puzzled, he turned and continued forward. 

I beamed from ear to ear as I sped back to my original spot. Man, he’s so cute, but he was so caught off guard as well. I wonder what kind of thing he expected to see from me initially?

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So yeah! That was a little blast from the past— ‘the past’ being two weeks ago. In case it wasn’t obvious enough, my section switched from contrabass tubas to sousaphones this year. Slowly adjusting to that. Other than that unexpected change, things have been great!!  The update took a little while to type out, so I apologize about that. And if the writing is choppy as well, forgive me. It was tons of fun looking back though! ^^ I hope everyone is having a great afternoon. 

[shihalyfie]

@atsoraasayoma replied to your post: “The paradox of the relationship between Takeru and Hikari”

Considering how passionate the fanbase is for Takeru and Hikari as a ship this has been handled very delicately and is very forthright. All things considering I never realized they did not really know each other and got to know each other more until after they met with their jogress partners and actually started opening up more to each other. Now, I have to ask this question because I grew up with the English dub here and did not learn about the Japanese versions of these two since I was  much older. I know you have not been particularly fond of Tri as it throws a wrench in the whole franchise, but considering that do you believe their relationship in Tri gives credence even more to the possibility of them getting involved in a romantic relationship? (I have read your extensive critique by the way. Very impressive.) And while I am it it seems to me they do have a large degree of familiarity with each other in zero two and their relationship keeps building in closeness  throughout the series. They were merely acquaintances in zero two but a lot of times she has deferred to Takeru for help rather than the others and has great confidence in him (more so in English version anyway but still). As a diehard takari fan myself since my youth (and having no concept of the differences of ages of the characters between dub and sub at the time) I wanted to ask you all things considering the epilogue I had theorized that that since the epilogue does not show  who their partners were their was a possibility that they could have actually gotten married, however I learned much later in life the director said in an interview they did not. Considering all of THAT do you think (minus the interview) they might change this if they make a kizuna sequel? Since they do lean heavily towards them being together (in my own warped sense probably yes, but I am not the only one) or if they do if they will leave it still ambiguous (It all depends on the director?)?

I’ll bullet-point my responses here:

I would like to reiterate that my reason for not including tri. in these analyses is that tri. and Adventure/02 are in such stark contradiction to each other (especially in regards to 02) that I will have to retroactively take a knife to the consistency of my own analyses just to make it work. It’s not relevant to my personal sentiments of whether I like or dislike the series; I’d have tried to make it work if I could, even if I disliked it (I have said multiple times that I don’t necessarily agree with all of the creative decisions I analyze, and I even have positive sentiments about Daisuke’s V-Tamer chapter even if it doesn’t track with his character). In this case, tri.’s portrayal of the two characters in question and what makes them “interested” in each other runs contrary to the nature of how they were portrayed in 02, so I honestly feel that I can’t say “tri. says that it’s possible for them to hook up after 02″ because that requires them to completely ditch everything we knew about their characters to make that setup even possible (and, to be a bit blunt about it, I’m frankly extremely doubtful that the higher-up staff on tri. even watched 02 to begin with or referenced anything beyond a SparkNotes-esque summary of it). I have to work with a version of the two characters who are as bad at communicating with each other as they were at the beginning of 02, a Takeru whose behavior and way of reacting to things that impact him run contrary to his portrayal in 02 and everything Iori helped him with, and a version of Hikari whose world revolves around her brother to the point she’d rather everyone die than she get to be with him (which is the exact opposite of the problem presented in 02, that she’d rather doom herself by doing nothing and not burdening others, including her brother). It also requires assuming that the two characters would be able to so cheerfully cut off everything regarding their other friends in 02, when so much of the series’s theme was about how influential the other four were in them opening up. Therefore, if I want to talk about “Hikari and Takeru in 02, and what their future would be like if they decided to take things in a romantic direction”, I honestly cannot believe it would be for the reasons presented in tri. instead of something more consistent with what we saw of them in 02, and figuring out some way to make it work would require mental loops to the degree that I’m not particularly willing to do. Therefore, I will not consider them in the same analysis. If someone else wants to do it, I invite them to, but I will not be the one to do it, because my priorities are with Adventure and 02 and everything that works alongside it.

My last rewatches of the Japanese version of 02 didn’t give me a particular impression that the two of them hold each other in that much regard over the others, to be honest. A lot of the Japanese dialogue revolves around the fact they don’t talk about their feelings or impressions about anything, to the point it’s borderline unnerving because you don’t understand what they’re thinking. That’s a plot point, because their Jogress arcs revolve around the fact that Miyako (who figured that Hikari must be secretly holding something over her) and Iori (who’s initially confused by the duality of Takeru’s “kindness” and sudden explosive outbursts) don’t actually “know” them as well as it initially seemed, and are the right Jogress partners for them because they have the sort of personalities who can break through those initial walls. Yamamoto Taisuke, Takeru’s own voice actor, commented on Takeru being a little “scary” because he’s “thinking about a lot of things” that he’s not being honest about (this presumably being something he can say because he was likely given clear directions to make sure a bit of “dishonesty” came off in his performance of Takeru). Since the English dub added a lot of dialogue in almost every direction (and, through no likely fault of their own, made a lot of assumptions they probably shouldn’t have), it’s probably a major reason for the disparity in impressions we have.

Regarding the epilogue and the infamous interview in question: Kizuna was overseen by Seki Hiromi, the original Adventure/02′s producer (not director), who was the same person who gave that fateful May V-Jump interview and was very firm about the epilogue holding. I don’t think anything she said discounted the idea of them two experimenting with a romantic relationship in the future; it just means that it didn’t end up going forward long-term. Adventure and 02 were very dedicated to modeling human behavior in ways similar to how it works in real life, even if it ran contrary to expectations in media, so the reality of the situation is that “childhood friend” relationships like these very rarely end up in long-term relationships and marriage down the line, because while a long-term partner should be someone you trust and can communicate with through good times and bad, “trust”, “comfort around each other”, “mutual emotional awareness”, and “romantic attraction” can all often be very different things. That two people can have a perfectly meaningful relationship with trust and admiration for each other that does not end up in a long-term romantic partnership is arguably more common than the converse (unless we want to imply that everyone has feelings for their closest friends?) -- real life will give you people with mutually trusting relationships who talk about all of their problems with each other, but have zero feelings for each other at all whatsoever, and then one will develop a crush on someone they barely even know because they’re “attractive”, and then start dating them and figure out the part of getting to know each other after the fact, and there’s no sin in that. I think it’s certainly foolhardy to deny that they had a relationship of good esteem, but whether that necessarily has to imply romance is the question for the ages, and is the likely cause of the divide between those who see it embedded in the whole series and those who don’t see it happening at all. So as a result, to be honest about it, I don’t get the impression that baiting the ship was the 02 staff’s intention, regardless of how it came out -- being really terrible at not realizing that the audience would read it differently is a very common theme with 02 -- and that’s why things ended the way they did (but of course, I don’t think that should stop those who ship it from coming up with their own outcomes).

I am not particularly holding out for a Kizuna sequel at all (as much as I’m apprehensive about how much they love to milk this, they themselves have been hinting that we shouldn’t be holding out for it), and if there were one, I’m also not sure they want to open the wound further after the controversies surrounding ship baiting in tri. and the fact that it’s unlikely they’ll want to depict anything that wasn’t in the current canon epilogue (and look how hesitant Kizuna was to portray anything particularly groundbreaking with the actual canon ships). I think, personally, the biggest fear I would have about a future entry dealing with the ship (well, beyond the fact that I really don’t want to see a future entry at all) would be that it might all too easily end up with an external party doing it to pander to the ship’s fanbase instead of paying proper care to retaining the integrity of their characters and character relationships; for me it’s not really about there being the ship or no ship as much as I care that it’s done in a way believable for their characters and not just for the sake of having it. It’s not that I think an external party making it would necessarily go off the rails -- I think the tri. stage play is a fantastic example of an external product executing this tastefully -- but lack of original staff involvement is now considered a “massive red flag” after tri.-related controversy, and Kizuna having Seki and Yamatoya’s presence was a hugely advertised part of it (and they still couldn’t escape controversy when Kakudou stepped off), so I think Toei is likely to be very cautious about how they go about this from now on.

[iu-jjang]

[FANCAFE] 200918 From.IU - Violet flowers gather around!!

Hello, my violet flowers.

How have you been? As promised by Lee Jidong recently, I haven’t been able to write a From.IU post because I lost my ID, but I took this opportunity to create a new ID and return here!! Heheheke (But even though I haven’t been leaving any posts, I’ve been reading what everyone has been posting)

Already a year has passed as swiftly as an arrow and it’s my 12th debut anniversary! Thanks for sending all your congratulations..(shy)

Most people are like that and it’s the same for me too.. Even though I feel surprised by how fast time has passed for others (whatt my nephew is going to attend elementary school soon?!), every year it doesn’t feel real that time has passed for myself.

It’s only when all of you crowd around to congratulate me, that I go.. ah it’s already that time of the year again.

So, as IU, what I would like to say for my 12th September 18 is actually about the same as last year and it’s just one thing! I want to be able to confidently say that with my gratitude towards uaenas, I’m sincerely taking big strides to grow every year.

This year, due to unavoidable circumstances, we couldn’t gather together in one location and meet close together face to face, or greet each other with bright voices and I’m really... really very~~~ upset because of that...!

Umm.. I went for a recording on Yoo Hee Yeol Sketchbook on Tuesday!

The recording itself was really touching. I’m grateful towards the YHY Sketchbook staff beyond words. It’s been a long time since I was able to sing so much (my throat really almost died, so the whole of Wednesday I rested at home to recover and had to remain silent keke) and I had a crazy good time and above all else, I poured in everything I had, with the intention of giving uaenas a present! Perhaps because it’s turning autumn or perhaps because the audience seats were vacant, my heart felt a bit empty when I got home. As you know, I’m definitely not the type to feel empty after a concert, but I realised ah that’s how big the absence of an audience is.. I really miss those white blazing days of spending hours with uaenas and singing till my throat was hoarse.. So it was a night that I really really missed uaenas to the point of tears.. Well it was kind of like that hehe

I hope uaenas watch Sketchbook tonight and fall asleep smiling and feeling really really happy!

(I really did my best.....^-^)

This year, unfortunately.. although it’s a heartrending September 18th that we miss each other very much, I believe such moments are meaningful too! If you stay healthy, we will be able to have a tearfully perfect reunion!

Let’s hang in there till then ♥

I’ve ended my schedule for today and just got home!

I’ll have to go out early tomorrow as well, so I won’t be playing in the comments and I’ll.. leave in a hurry!!

Let’s talk more during the V Live later (hng you guys know I’m not good at such stuff right kekeke nervous)

My desire to give all of you even more than last year, without holding back.. it’s because uaenas have been awesome friends to me at every! single! moment!

Goodnight my close friends of 12 years!

Thank you and I love you♥

ps. Ah anyway all of you can’t comment yet currently ah ok ok ^.^ (embarrassed)

[TL note: 4th Gen Fanclub members were initially not given the rights to comment on the From.IU post yet. Admin has now given them the rights to leave comments.]

Translated by IUteamstarcandy with love

Source: IU’s official fancafe

[himbowelsh]

Hi! Can I maybe interest you in the valentines A-Z for our fav radio man George Luz? 🤗

babe you BET you can, i’m always interested in george luz

valentines day alphabet  ( accepting! )

A   :   AFFECTION.   how does your muse show affection?

George is...  well, to put it simply, he’s a cuddler. He’s a very tactile person, without even thinking about it; casual touches, like squeezing a shoulder or clapping someone’s back comes easily to them, and is a simple way to express his affection. When he really cares for someone, he can get a bit needy  ---  he needs that same level of physical intimacy and affection. He’s very eager to hold the person he loves, to pull them close and feel their body against his, their heartbeat and breaths matching his own  ---  but nothing makes him feel better than getting that back.

B   :   BOUQUET.   does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

Honestly? Not a fan. Like, he’ll get his Mama a bouquet for Mother’s Day, but George is more likely to rock up with a gift or giant stuffed animal than a bouquet. There’s something about them...  he doesn’t like having to watch flowers wilt and die. It just unsettles him.

C   :   CHOCOLATE.   does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

He’s not weird about it. Yeah, he likes chocolate, but he won’t go feral over it unlike some Liebgotts out there

D   :   DATE.   what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

He’s the sort of guy who has to be kept entertained; his ideal date is definitely an amusement park or a drive-in theatre (beware, he’s definitely seen the movie before and will keep up a running commentary through it). Carnivals? Oh, heck yes, count him in. Fireworks show? Please. Give George a fun and colorful setting, the opportunity to show off a bit, and a fun partner who can keep up with him...  that’s the perfect date.

E   :   EMBRACE.   does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Yes, he loves hugs! He thrives on hugs! Again, George is fueled by physical intimacy. His hugs are very steady, very earnest, and sometimes cling a bit too much...  but whenever he lets go, there’s sincere emotion on his face, and anyone can see how much he means it.

F   :   FLIRT.   is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

Oh yeah, he’s definitely a flirt, but it’s not something he can help! He’s just...  got one of those faces, okay? That smirk alone flirts without trying. When George is actually trying, he’s definitely able to keep the mood of the party light; if he’s drawn to someone, he’ll joke around with them, but if they seem to respond in kind, then the flirting begins in earnest. He won’t throw himself down on the table in front of them...  but winks, smirks, casual touches? It’s all there, baby.

G   :   GIFT.   is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

Gift giving is an art, and George Luz has honed it. He just...  remembers things about people. Innocuous things, small comments, major life events, he remembers all of it, and keeps it stored away for a later date. He’s given his fair share of joke gifts, but when he gives something with sincerity in mind, it’s always somehow the perfect thing. George gives people gifts they didn’t even realize they needed.

H   :   HEART.   is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

Honestly, he’s quicker than he should be, and he knows it. George...  wants to be loved. He needs attention and affection like he needs air. So when he falls for someone, he definitely falls hard, and there’s no way to really stop that trajectory. A part of him doesn’t trust himself, because he knows that’s a great way to get his heart broken.

I    :   I LOVE YOU.   does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

He definitely thinks it way before he actual says it. George Luz, keeping a thought to himself? Inconceivable! But the fact is, George is shy about saying it...  because he’s scared he might not hear it back. His partner would have to say it first...  and from that moment on, there’s no stopping him. George loves saying “I love you”. He tosses it out at random times, in casual and meaningful moments alike, just to hammer the point home  ---  saying it often doesn’t make it any less true.

J   :   JEALOUSY.   does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

He...  can get a little insecure at times, so yeah, if he sees someone else flirting with his partner, he won’t like it, and will definitely try to break it up ASAP. Not with fists  ---  a little charm and a well-placed wisecrack can work wonders.

K   :   KISS.   is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

Oh gosh, yes. George is...  the sort of kisser you wake up in a cold sweat about. He knows what he’s doing, and this is something he’s actually really confident about: George Luz is a damn great kisser. This is the one time he actually shuts his mouth, and puts it to work instead. Just the right amount of tongue, and touch, and teeth... while he’s definitely a bit of a tease, George knows what he’s doing, and exactly how to get his partner’s heart pounding. His biggest flaw is his habit of grinning during kisses, which... ends with bashing teeth together usually, not a fun time. Then he’ll start laughing, the mood is broken, and he’s gotta take a moment.

L   :   LOVE.   who does your muse love?

His entire family  ---  and George has a massive family. All his friends  ---  and he has so many friends, seriously. The funny clerk at the grocery store who always gives him a discount; the nice old ladies down at the bingo club who talk about their grandkids a lot; the neighbor whose leaky roof he fixed who couldn’t actually pay him, but gave him an entire pie. George has so much love to give, it sometimes physically hurts.

M   :   MOONLIGHT.   is morning or night a more romantic setting?

Morning George has bedhead, and Nighttime George has at least had a chance to run a comb through it, so he’s more confident in his ability to impress at night.

N   :   NAUGHTY.   what is your muse like in bed?

“Naughty” is a good word for it. George is a tease; he likes to have fun, and does not want sex to be an intimidating experience for anyone. He’ll be the first one to admit that he messes around too much, but it’s just to cover up the insecurities he feels deep down  (and also, when he’s nervous he sometimes doesn’t know how to Turn It Off). He’s a talker during sex. If he’s not making an inappropriately-timed joke, compliments are probably spilling from his mouth, like he’s not even sure what he’s saying. You have to actively work to shut him up...  and even then, he’s still pretty loud. He’ll definitely be able to make his partner laugh, but when he gets to teasing, he can be absolutely unbearable. If the other person takes control  ---  which, holy shit, drives George absolutely wild  ---  it’s super easy to get under George’s skin, because he’s sensitive in a lot of places. When he goes over the edge, he goes over the edge hard...  it takes a while for him to recover, and sometimes he’s left dizzy for a few minutes. Aftercare is very important, and another thing he absolutely loves.

O   :   ODE.   does your muse have a way with words?

He’s got a smart mouth and the inability to shut up. That’s almost the same thing.

P   :   PARTNER.   what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Personality, absolutely. Whoever George falls for has to be able to snare him. He needs a little excitement, someone to keep him on his toes  ---  definitely someone with a great laugh. If they can make him laugh too, that’s a bonus; he’d love someone with a smart mouth. And kindness is super important  ---  he definitely wants someone who’ll go out of their way to help others out, even if it puts them at a disadvantage. (He has a thing for green or brown eyes, they just get him. Curly hair? Excellent, fun to run his fingers through. But he is...  genuinely not picky whatsoever.)

Q   :   QUESTION.   would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

Oh, he wants to do it. Absolutely. He’s got a plan and everything. Multiple plans. Many of them are elaborate and involve pyrotechnics with the strong potential for disaster, but...   eh, it’ll probably be fine. If no one dies during the proposal, it’s a great omen for the relationship!

R   :   ROMANCE.   is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

He thinks of himself as...  a practical romantic. Like, he’s not all butterflies and Disney ballads, but there’s a very strong streak in him that’s eager to be loved and have someone to dote on in return. When George is falling in love, he’s all about seizing romantic, spontaneous moments when they arise  ---  any way possible for him to show it.

S   :   SWEETHEART.   did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

He didn’t slow down long enough, to be honest. Lil Georgie was an energy ball. I could see him having some crushes on a few other kids, especially as he grew a bit older and middle school hormones happened, but he was no Baby Romeo.

T   :   TRUE LOVE.   does your muse believe in true love?

He...  believes in love. True love isn’t something he’s ever really thought about, because the idea’s always seemed kind of silly to him, like something out of a kid’s story. Love is love. 

U   :   UNREQUITED.   has your muse had their heart broken?

He’s been rejected plenty of times, but nothing’s ever truly shattered him. George bounces back quickly.

V   :   VALENTINE.   how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

“Stupid. Commercial garbage. Not even a holiday, why do we need it? Anyways, I booked us a dinner at eight at that restaurant you love, and don’t look under your pillow ‘cause there’s definitely not chocolate there ---”

W  :   WEDDING.   would your muse get married? why / why not?

It’s not, like...  the be-all-end-all of his happiness, and if his partner didn’t want to, he’d be cool with that. Yeah, he’d personally really like to get married and start a family, but... more than anything, he wants someone who’ll stay. You don’t absolutely need a ring for that.

X   :   XOXO.   does your muse use / like pet names?

He will absolutely make up goofy pet names for his loved ones to tease them, and likes to get creative with them. Nicknames come easy to George, and are always affectionate  ---  he jokes that he’s got so many nieces and nephews that no way can he remember all their names, but he’s got a nickname for each one and remembers those without even trying.

Y   :   YOURS.   does your muse get protective easily?

He can be, if he feels like a person he cares about is being threatened! If George sees a loved one in a tight spot, he’d going to jump in real quick. He won’t get immediately confrontational, that’s not his style...   but he’ll be there, at their backs, ready to step in if needed. His go-to move is an arm around his loved one’s shoulders, with a grin and a too-cheerful  “we got a problem here?”

Z   :   ZZZ.   how many people has your muse slept with?

Like...  he’s no nymphomaniac, but if he can, he will. Consent is very important to him, and he’s very in tune with his partner’s feelings, so he’ll only do it if both parties are firmly on board...  but if someone’s interested in him, and he’s in the mood? Sign him up and pin him down.

[strawberry-skies-xx]

a million reasons to let you go

C H A P T E R   F I V E

word count: 2087

tags: eventual hiccup/astrid, slow burn, fluff, angst, happy ending, feral hiccup, hiccup whump, bamf hiccup, protective astrid, protective hiccup, interrogation, aftermath of torture, implied/referenced torture, hurt/comfort, stoick’s a+ parenting, stoick’s bad parenting, hiccstrid fluff, hiccup and toothless friendship

main masterlist | story on ao3 | next chapter >>

When Astrid walks back to the cove, she knows something’s wrong.

For one, there’s two spots where the bushes are burned and ash covers the area in a wide circle - Astrid thinks she sees something like shreds of paper scattered among the grass - and for two, when she comes up on the cove, she sees Toothless bent over the lake, drinking water, but his tail is lashing behind him and he keeps glancing up, as if watching for a threat.

And this time, Astrid knows it’s not a play-fight.

She moves forward, sliding down the cove rocks, and watches Toothless lift his head, green eyes locking on her. She gives a small, reassuring smile - and Toothless bares his teeth, growling, and then he turns his head towards the waterfall and lets out a roar.

She tenses, glancing towards the waterfall. Of all the things she’d expected to happen when she came back, this was not it - she thought she was making progress.

Apparently not, she thinks, as Toothless’s low growl rumbles steadily through the space, and his hostile glare is set on her.

Auburn hair appears from behind the waterfall, followed by Hiccup, who is decidedly less friendly than before, as he stalks towards her in that lethally graceful half-crouch with his hood up, one hand on his sword hilt and Toothless’s hostile glare reflected in Hiccup’s own glare.

She raises her hands in surrender, backing away slowly, glancing between Hiccup, Toothless, and Hiccup’s hand on his sword. She can feel her heart rate pick up, fear shooting through her and nearly paralyzing her in the way only the boy and his dragon can do to her.

“Hiccup,” she says, voice slightly panicked, and she gets a hiss in return, “what are you doing?”

“You lied,” he says, gritting it out as if it’s painful to say. Astrid winces at the tone - all her progress, gone because of whatever happened between last time and now that makes him think that she lied. She almost wants to give up, because she’s never met anyone as closed off as Hiccup and getting close to him is a lot harder than she thought it would be.

Some small part of her wants to get close anyway, because - and now she can’t help but admit it - she does care about the two of them. Whatever imagined slight Hiccup thinks she’s done against him, Astrid knows she would never intentionally hurt them. She’s long since abandoned her original mission, and it’s just now that she’s realizing it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Astrid says, and winces internally at the wording that’s sure not to go even slightly towards convincing him of her innocence. “I didn’t lie, Hiccup,” -he hisses again at his name, and she makes a mental note to try not to use it until she’s proved innocent and he doesn’t look like he wants to kill her- “I don’t know what happened that caused this, but I never lied to you or T- ...or your Night Fury,” she corrects when Toothless’s growl turns into a harsh snap of teeth. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

It’s silent for a long moment, one in which Astrid thinks her heart is going to pound out of her chest, until suddenly Toothless’s gaze shifts up to the trees above her and she screams, ducking as a blast of violet fire shoots very suddenly above her head.

She opens her eyes, glaring at them. “What was that for-“

There’s a high-pitched scream, and Astrid turns around to see-

“Snotlout?!” she asks loudly, as the Viking stumbles down the cove rocks, eyes wide and panicked. “What are you doing here?” She glances back at Hiccup and Toothless, who are glaring at both her and Snotlout. “You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

Snotlout stops a few feet away from her and gestures at the dragon and boy. “And you couldn’t have?! You were talking to them, Astrid! Like friends! And I’m pretty sure that’s a Night Fury, who can kill you with no effort! Like it almost did me!”

He glares at Toothless, who only growls back, and Astrid sighs as she sees Hiccup standing in the curve of Toothless’s body and tail, sword alight with fire on one side and green eyes defiant and hostile towards both of them.

“Snotlout,” she says, with the tone of quickly dwindling patience, though she can feel herself panicking inside. She knows she can’t do anything to stop the dragon and the boy if they decide to attack Snotlout, because their trust of her is as fragile right now as their trust of Snotlout, and the near helplessness is not a feeling she likes. “They are not going to hurt you as long as you don’t hurt them. Right, guys?” she asks, turning a meaningful glance on Hiccup and Toothless.

The only response she gets from them is Toothless’s steady growl and Hiccup’s fiery glare. She sighs again, though she’s still tense with adrenaline and attempting to stop the dragon and the boy from killing one of the Vikings of Berk. She isn’t sure how long she’d be able to keep Berk from hunting down the two if they did that.

Astrid looks at Snotlout. “You won’t hurt them either, right?”

Snotlout’s eyes widen and he gestures indignantly at them. “Are you forgetting the fact they almost tried to kill me?!”

“They were not trying to kill you, Snotlout!” she says, exasperated. Her patience is very quickly running out - she was not made for mediating situations. “You were the one spying on them! They live here!”

Snotlout rolls his eyes. “Oh, and you just know that, do you? Aren’t you supposed to be with the women of the village, learning how to be my wife? I’m pretty sure this isn’t it-“

His sentence cuts off with a scream as Astrid throws one of her daggers hidden in her clothes, hard enough to pin the shoulder of his shirt into the tree bark behind him, her patience very quickly vanishing.

Astrid grins, something cruel and mocking, and walks up to him, relishing the fear in his eyes - for the moment. But it’s a damn good moment.

“I am not your wife,” she says under her breath, and she doesn’t think about the dragon and dragon-boy behind her. All she thinks about is Snotlout, pinned against the tree and staring at her with eyes wide in fear, and my wife. “I will not be your wife, I am not your wife, and there is nothing you can do, Snotlout,” she hisses his name, “to make me your wife. This is nothing more than a title. Are we clear?”

He’s silent, and Astrid smiles. She pulls out another small dagger, and examines the sharp steel edge. Her gaze flicks back to Snotlout, who’s looking between her and the blade.

“I said, are we clear?”

Snotlout whimpers. “Yes, yeah, no wife, I get it-“

She wordlessly yanks out the dagger in his shoulder and turns away, tuning out his muttered comments as she slips the daggers back into her clothes and walks away.

Snotlout stands up behind her, and once she’s several feet away and has calmed down slightly, she turns back around, blue eyes alight with hostile fire. She meets Snotlout’s gaze.

“You are going to go back to Berk, and you’re going to say you never saw me out here. Got it?” she says, tone steely. Snotlout nods silently, and then she continues. “And you’re not going to tell anyone about these two, understand?”

Snotlout glances at Hiccup and Toothless, who Astrid hasn’t looked at to see their reactions since she pinned Snotlout against the tree, and then he looks back at her and nods wordlessly again.

“Verbal answer, Snotlout,” she says, almost boredly.

“Yes, Astrid,” he replies - as if he’s gritting it out, and with a petulant tone like a child, but still an answer.

And if Astrid discovers that he’s let slip about Hiccup and Toothless, then Snotlout may find himself losing a limb or two in the very near future.

“Go,” she says, and glares at Snotlout’s retreating form as he turns and sprints as fast as possible out of the cove.

It’s when he disappears into the forest that she looks over at Toothless and Hiccup, still crouched together as always, but Hiccup has put his sword away and is watching her silently.

She sighs and turns away. “Sorry. I know you don’t trust me right now, so I’ll go,” she says, quieter and more tired than she ever lets herself be in front of anyone else at Berk. “You know that I carry weapons with me around you two, when I was supposed to be unarmed this entire time. And I led Snotlout to you too.” She runs a hand through her hair, letting out a breath and slumping down against a nearby rock.

It’s quiet for a long moment, and Astrid almost turns around to see if the pair left.

“You didn’t lie,” Hiccup says quietly behind her. Astrid freezes, waiting for him to continue - if he’ll continue.

“No, I didn’t,” she says, after he doesn’t respond. The situation feels fragile, like glass in her hands, and she knows that this is a critical moment to rebuilding Hiccup’s trust towards her.

It’s silent again. She turns around to see Hiccup sitting staring down at the grass, leaning against Toothless, who cracks open one eye to watch her as she watches Hiccup.

“Hey,” she says, and the boy looks up at her. This didn’t work last time, but… all she can do is try, and their relationship is the slightest bit better than it was back then. “Come to Berk with me. Live with us. You’ll be able to visit Toothless out here, but you’ll have reliable shelter, food, water-“

Hiccup’s green eyes turn flinty, switching to a glare, and he stands up - or, as much as he ever stands up, in that same half-human, half-dragon crouch - with that uncanny grace of his. Astrid inhales sharply as Toothless growls at her, sensing Hiccup’s distress, and Hiccup himself walks towards her, gaze hard.

“No,” he says, and it’s the calm of it that makes Astrid feel like she’s being threatened. Hiccup looks evenly at her, and for once, he speaks on his own.

Astrid doesn’t like it.

“I am not going to go to Berk,” he says. “I told you that, and yet you keep trying. We are acquaintances. We are not friends, we are not lovers,” and Astrid thinks she hears the slightest hint of bitterness when he says that, “and I am not a Viking.”

Toothless rumbles from next to him, pushing his head under Hiccup’s hand. Hiccup turns just slightly towards him, letting Toothless lift Hiccup’s arm so it rests on his nose, and then he glares at her again. “You know I would rather stay with Toothless than ever go near Berk, or any Viking. You know I don’t want anything to do with humans,” -Astrid definitely notices that wording- “and you know that I’m not going to join you.”

His lips twist in a mockery of a smile, cold and bitter. “You know I won’t leave Toothless so you can kill him and capture me.”

Astrid sucks in a sharp breath. “How did you-“

“You’re a Viking,” he says, and the bitterness is back in his voice. “You’re all the same.”

Astrid frowns and opens her mouth, but Hiccup continues on, interrupting her before she even begins. This is the longest she’s ever heard him talk, and she hates it. She hates it so much, because he’s right. That was her plan, this was all her fault because she kept coming back, the hunt was her fault, everything. If she’d never told the village, if she’d never come back to them the third time, none of this would’ve happened.

“I am not going back to Berk,” he repeats, and his voice gets harsher - but not at her, oddly. “You can’t make me go back to Berk. You know this, Toothless knows it, I know it. So stop trying.”

He glares at her for a few more seconds, and then turns away. Astrid watches him, struck silent by the vehemence in his reaction - vehement enough to actually talk to her about it.

She doesn’t say anything, or do anything, as he leaves on Toothless’s back.

Later on, she’ll come to regret that more than she’s regretted anything of these encounters with him.

next chapter >>

[dreaming-gamer]

Magic Touch – Nero X V Chapter 3

Firefighter Nero x Massage Therapist V

The smell of oil and tires hit Nero’s nose the second he stepped into Devil May Drive, to find V’s piece of junk car suspended by a red car lift and Nero’s best friend checking its underside. Nico wore a yellow overall, the sleeves rolled up for the world to see her tattoos and oil coated her clothed fingers.

The front of the small car might be looking a bit steadier since last Nero had seen it, two days ago. Work had kept him away, but at least he was free today. And hoping for a chance meeting with a certain massage therapist.

“You can stop checking around, he ain’t here.” The mechanic stated, but she flashed Nero a grin. “So, I wanna hear all ‘bout it. Ya get another session or something?” She winked.

“Did you sniff too much gasoline?” Nero retorted. “I gave him a ride, nothing else.”

“At least ya got his number, right?” Nico teased, only for her eyes to widen as Nero hesitated just a second too long. “Yer shittin’ me! Are ya the worst person in the world when it comes to flirting or what?!” She demanded, both hands on her hips.

“Kyrie and I didn’t need flirting! This is just totally different, alright?!” Nero exclaimed, but quickly lowered his voice, stepping closer to his best friend. “Kyrie and I were friends for the longest time! I’ve met this guy twice! I tried asking his number! …but the timing was all wrong, he got out of the car without hearing me.”

“Uh huh… ya know, ya could ask yers truly and I’ll give it to ya, as a special order.” Nico said, her grin returning full force. Maybe she was taking pity on him. Nero wasn’t sure he wanted it or liked it.

“And what would that cost me?” He deadpanned.

“A favor to ask for whenever I please, no matter the cost?” Nico grinned, her eyes alight with glee. “Magic always comes with a price, dearie.”

“You quoting that show of yours again? And this isn’t even magic! Aren’t you breaking customer confidentiality if you give it to me?” Nero pointed out with a huff.

“Aww, does that mean yer worried about my job? Dante wouldn’t mind me helping his nephew, lemme tell ya!” Nico teased.

“You’re NOT telling him about this!” Nero exclaimed. Her teasing, he could put up with. If his uncle found out that Nero was starting to take fancy in someone, he would never hear the end of the Dante’s comments! Or the attempts of ‘advice’. “And if I’m going to get V’s number, damn straight I’m getting it myself! I’m not gonna sit around like some deadweight and get it handed to me!”

But the thought of asking V, well… it made his heart race again. A lot. First of all, he needed to actually meet the guy again, preferably here and hope with all his heart that V would maybe, maybe be interested enough in him to exchange numbers so Nero didn’t need to rely on chance meetings anymore. Sometimes he replayed V’s quote of poetry in his head, not that the poem meant much to him, but that voice…

He missed it.

“Pardon me.”

Oh great, Nero was even imagining it now, more vividly than he’d managed before, right behind him.

“I see we have run into each other, yet again. Good morning, Nero.”

Nero’s mind ground to a stop. There was only one pair of lips that made his name sound like more than it was.

No. Way.

He turned around to find the poet standing just a few meters behind them, a silvery cane in one hand, dressed in a black leather vest that gave off a strong gothic vibe but fit him amazingly. And the smirk on V’s face was quite amused. Either he had… heard Nero’s announcement. Or he was happy with gaining Nero’s attention, with his attire.

The tips of Nero’s ears turned red, whichever the case.

“M-morning!” He said quickly, dammit, what else was he supposed to say?! Had V heard him or not?! And if he had, was he totally fine with giving up his number?! Nero’s heart sped up, thundering in his chest while it felt like he had soaring butterflies in his stomach…!

Nico snorted, trying to hold back a laugh, making Nero turn quickly to face her, anger sparking in his eyes.

Her mirth said it all, she’d seen V come in. And not told him.

Nico just gave him a grin before seemingly taking pity on Nero, as she greeted her customer.

“Yo, yer early! Gonna take a few more hours to get this beauty completely fixed!” She announced, gesturing to the suspended car.

“Ah, my apologies. Your message specified today, so I was hoping…” V smiled politely. “I suppose I will have to return later then.”

“Come back at lunch and it’ll be greeting you with a roaring engine!” Nico grinned. Nero wondered if that car engine could roar at all, since… well, it looked way too old.  

V chuckled to her statement.

“I will look forward to that then.” He smirked as she went back to her work. Nico flashed Nero a meaningful grin, like a silent “Come on, jackass! Ya scared?!”

Nero grit his teeth, he wasn’t going to back down from that challenge! Fighting the urge to put his hands in his pockets and instead act natural, he approached V, putting a grin on his face.

“So, since the car’s gonna be a while… you wanna go grab a coffee? Brunch?” Nero offered, his heart beating fast in his chest. The pounding could almost be heard in his ears.

The second V looked at him, his lips turning into an apologetic smile, Nero knew what the answer would be. It made his heart sink, like a stone to his stomach.

“My apologies, Nero. As pleasant as your offer sounds… I have somewhere to be, right after this. I just came by… in hopes of finding the car finished early.” V replied.

Nero stumbled for a natural reply, with his previously soaring hope now crushing to the ground, within the same hour, it was hard to not seem affected.

“Yeah, no worries man, never mind that—“

“However…” V’s calm voice cut him off. “…if you would like to join me for a walk, to my destination…”

Nero’s hand, that had just been on it’s way to the back of his head, paused. His eyes widened, his tongue felt tied in his mouth. He was quick to nod.

“Excellent, shall we be off?” V suggested with a pleased smirk, taking the lead out of the oil-smelling shop. Nero kicked his brain and legs into following, feeling as if that hope he couldn’t let go of was currently on a rollercoaster. It didn’t stop the grin from appearing on his face. Nero let V take the lead, falling into step with the massage therapist.

Sunlight greeted them and despite the lack of sleeves on his clothing, V was dressed all in black leather. Wouldn’t he get really hot? Nero’s tongue seeming more willing to cooperate now, he opened his mouth to ask as he noticed another detail.

V had… sandals on.

For real? They didn’t really fit in with the rest of his look at all, they just didn’t! But V’s way of walking, as if they were the most appropriate thing in the world to wear… kind of made it work? It was rather confusing, to be honest.

V seemed to notice his staring.

“Is something the matter?” The massage therapist wondered.

Nero considered, for a moment to ask what the deal with the sandals was… but since they didn’t really know each other that well yet, he settled for another question on his mind.

“So why the cane? You need it or is it just to strengthen the goth look?” V stood out like a sore thumb compared to him, Nero was dressed in regular jeans, t-shirt and a short sleeved blue hoodie, perfect for the weather.

V graced him with a devilish smirk, that kind that made a shiver go down along Nero’s spine.

“I suppose… it is for aesthetic, rather than function. These days.”

“’These days’?” Nero asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes.” V replied, holding the cane just under the head in an easy grip. It certainly didn’t look like he needed it to walk, since there was no limp to his steps, just a bit of slouch to his back. V didn’t seem inclined to elaborate. Like he’d rather keep it a mystery, or perhaps it was something he’d rather not speak about. Nero couldn’t really tell which, but he didn’t push it.

“Looks good, anyway.” He simply said, because it was true. V wielded the cane gracefully, as if it was an extension of his tattooed arm.

V’s devilish smirk remained.

“Why, thank you. What was your errand, at Devil May Drive? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Nero felt the tips of his ears change color again. V’s tone was teasing and he wondered, again, had the massage therapist heard him or not? Proclaiming he wanted V’s number…

“I just hang out there sometimes.” He tried for, it wasn’t a completely white lie. Nero did hang around, sometimes, since Nico worked there. And meeting his uncle from time to time was cool.

And I was kinda hoping to see you again. The words were in his mind, right there, ready to be said. And he opened his mouth to let them out, but they just wouldn’t come. He struggled, swallowed to buy himself time to try again. His heart rate was picking up again, whoa Nico must be right, he was the worst when it came to flirting!

“I see.” V didn’t seem to mind Nero’s difficulties. “I’m afraid… our walk seems to be coming to an end.”

Are you kidding me?! This time, I am getting that number before you— Nero put a brake on his own thoughts, when he realized just where they were. Sure, they have started to walk down a very familiar road, but still… This street was where he lived! On both sides of the road, apartment buildings loomed over them, the sun hitting the southern windows making them glisten. He’d expected they were just going to pass through, but V meant that they were almost there?

“Why are we here, exactly?”  Nero’s mind was trying to catch up. Was V visiting someone? Or…

Did he live here, that close to Nero? His eyes fell upon a blue moving truck, parked outside the apartment building across from his. The movers stood just outside, discussing the best course of action, just before they opened shutter to the truck’s storage unit.

“I am moving to this new apartment, today.” V pointed to the moving truck with the head of his cane. “I’m afraid that’s why I’ll be too busy to…” The black-haired man paused as he noticed Nero’s wide eyes. “Is something the matter?”

“You’re moving in, acrossfromme.” Nero blurted the words out, too quickly for them to be really heard. It felt like his thoughts were tying themselves into knots.

V gave him a quizzical look.

“…pardon?”

“I live there.” Nero tapped V’s arm with his hand, then pointed it out for him, the first window on the third floor, facing the street as well as the opposite apartment building. “And you’re moving in…”

“Third floor, facing the road…” V’s eyes widened slightly, in that expression Nero had started to see as V’s attempt to hide his surprise. It took mere moments for his expression to smooth out into that devilish smirk.

“Well, we appear to be running into each other a lot recently.” V noted, sounding amused.

“I think this one is on you.” Nero said with a cocky grin. It felt like his heart was going to start breakdancing. Was this luck even real?

“It would seem that way.” V agreed, that amused glint not leaving his eyes. Nero just couldn’t believe this. He knew that an apartment across the road been empty for about a month now, the party animal that had lived there having finally moved on to someplace closer to the city center and the partying he had so adored. Either that or he had been evicted, for disturbing the neighborhood so often. But that didn’t mean that he could have imagined, in his wildest dreams, that V would be the one moving in.

Two men in blue clothes, the same color as the moving truck with caps on their heads exited the apartment building and climbed into the opened storage unit to start lifting a black leather couch between themselves. Nero could see a lot of boxes in the storage unit as well and he briefly wondered if V’s apartment would be the same size as his, with two rooms and a kitchen, or any other size. The question was on his tongue, but V beat him to it.

“Well then, I suppose I must assist.” V said, gesturing to the moving truck with his cane. “The walk might have been… short, but I enjoyed it. Thank you for the company.” V’s voice was that silken tone that sent shivers down Nero’s spine.

“Hey, no need for thanks. Seems like we’ll maybe see more of each other from now on huh?”

“It certainly seems that way…” From the way V smirked in amusement, Nero felt hope soar inside again. “Good luck with the move. I’m off work today, so just knock if you need help with something, deal?” He grinned, still not quite believing his luck.

V chuckled, that smirk on his face ever present.

“Perhaps I will. Good day to you, Nero.” V said, walking towards his new residence with that slight sway to his hips and waist. Nero tried so hard not to stare. And failed pretty miserably.

“See ya! G’day to you too!” Nero barely knew what he said as he waved and walked towards his own apartment building.

He’s moving in, on the other side of the road. It felt like Nero had wings on his feet when he climbed the stairs to his own apartment, one or sometimes two steps at a time. And V didn’t sound like he had anything against seeing each other again! The grin on Nero’s face couldn’t be wiped off by anything now! 

It wasn’t until he stepped inside his own home, kicked off his shoes and pulled off his jacket while simultaneously pulling off some steps to the sound of the electric guitar in his head, that he noticed that his phone had gotten a message. With a flick of his thumb, the message screen greeted him.

“So how did it go? Got that magical number already?” The message was short, but had plenty of emojis a la Nico, including some he barely understood. And why a devil emoji? The words were what made Nero stop in his happy dance around the kitchen though.

V’s number…

The sudden reveal of V’s new home had made him completely forget!

“Fuck!”

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

@la-vita and @thedyingmoon