#anyway i need her to make him cry in season 4

[sanamustdie]

if not pspspsps then why pspspsps shaped!!

vicky and homelander art dump!! these two characters are literally melting what’s left of my brain (help)

you can fix him? okay cool, she will make him worse

[sundrop-writes]

Need

Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary:

Daryl comes back from a run acting strangely needy, and you find out that Zach made him jealous. (You may have to thank Zach later.)

Or - Daryl fucks your brains out to prove to himself that you're his.

Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut/PWP. Set during early Season 4/The Prison Era.

Word Count: 3,000

The Walking Dead Masterlist | AO3 Link

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: this is mainly a smut fic - the reader uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina; the reader and Daryl have a sexual relationship that skews slightly romantic; the reader's age is not at all specified; Daryl being very needy (hence the title); Daryl is more dominant the reader is more submissive, but there is no laid out rigid roles; Daryl is jealous and trying to 'claim' the reader after someone else makes sexual comments about her (when she is not around to hear those comments); mentions of Daryl drinking alcohol and smoking (does not take place during the fic, just a background element); some manhandling - from Daryl towards the reader (nothing unrealistic or beyond Daryl's known strength); oral sex - reader receiving (Daryl certified pussy eater); references to hunting/killing animals for food (come on, this is a Daryl fic); Daryl is slightly mean in this (he tells the reader to shut up) - but he's not vengeful or mean on purpose, he's just in a mood; spit kink - Daryl spits on the reader's pussy; pussy spanking (this was such a last minute addition and I am so glad I did); Daryl calls the reader 'woman'; overstimulation - towards reader; mention of the reader crying/having tears in her eyes (due to overstimulation); Daryl being very possessive due to his jealousy; hair-pulling - Daryl receiving; very slight anal play (Daryl tongues the reader's asshole - juust a bit); penis in vagina sex; unprotected sex - they don't use a condom and there are no mentions of other forms of birth control (don't be like them); there is no mention of Daryl cumming inside the reader, though because the fic ends before we get to his orgasm (sorry, Daryl); slight cockwarming; the sex gets rough toward the end; I believe that's it for this fic?

A/N: No, this was not the winner of the poll. But right now I am in a mindset for TWD fics because I have been watching the show and I think it's a good opportunity to get this one out of my drafts - especially because it's shorter and easier to edit. If it's not your thing, feel free to ignore it. Also, I am not doing a taglist for this one because a lot of people on the taglist last time did not follow my taglist rules (basically, they were tagged and they didn't show up to read the fic, so it feels like a 'why bother' type of situation). So I'm gonna clean out the taglist and after such a short time, I am considering quitting taglists altogether. Anyway, if you do read it, I hope you enjoy the fic.

...

Need. 

That was the only word you could use to describe Daryl in those moments as he threw you down onto the cot and ripped your pants off with record speed. The air was absolutely ripe with need, the likes of which you had never felt or seen from Daryl before. Especially not in this magnitude. 

Daryl Dixon was someone who rarely came off as needy. 

Since the two of you had started this relationship (it was strange to call it a ‘relationship’ when there was so little conventional romance to it, and so few words) - Daryl was never someone you would have described as ‘needy’. He was always the definition of calm. He was level-headed, quiet, reserved - even more so in the face of your intense needs. The more you became a puddle of melded need, when you boiled over into pure want, especially in his presence, the more he turned into a stone wall of uncrackable cold hardness that you wanted so desperately to see crack. 

It was a game the two of you had been playing since day one. And he hadn’t lost yet, not once. 

Of course, the sex was amazing - even if he never let that facade down. He made sure that your overwhelming, unhidden need always came first. He made sure that you had cum first - usually more than once - before he even considered sticking his cock inside of you or letting you drop to your knees in order to serve him. He was never selfish - a man that lived to serve, in fact. 

That was why it surprised you when he came back from a run that day and grabbed you by your arm, practically dragging you out to the admin block. It was a place that you and Daryl had set up a little nest for personal privacy in the old warden’s office. Daryl had chosen the location both for its privacy, and for the wonderful irony. 

He found it downright hilarious that he was someone who had been reprimanded by cops before the total collapse of society and had been nearly arrested half a dozen times (he liked to put the emphasis on nearly, because he was a fast runner and often disappeared into the woods where they didn’t care to chase him, in contrast to someone like Merle, who was a known drug dealer was of far more interest to them - and much slower). Daryl was someone who could have easily ended up in prison, and now he could sit behind a warden’s desk and smoke a stash of fancy cigars that he had found hidden, and he had polished off the fancy whiskey in between fucking you. 

And he took an even greater enjoyment in fucking you pinned against the warden’s desk - but for practical purposes, he had lugged a cot into the office and set up a more comfortable space for the two of you there. The two of you even slept there sometimes because he still refused to sleep ‘in a cage’ - as he put it. Everyone else in the prison liked to fake that they didn’t know where the two of you went, but really - they were just glad that your love nest was far enough away from everyone else that they didn’t have to be subjected to the sounds you and Daryl made. 

And you were glad that you didn’t have to pretend to go hunting in order to escape to the woods for some privacy. Especially because, even as capable as Daryl was, the threat of Walkers looming over your head while he fucked you did make it a bit difficult to get fully lost in the sensations. 

But all of that was far at the back of your mind while he shucked off his crossbow and tossed it aside carelessly (usually he was someone who was careful to put away his weapon, not wanting to damage it so that he wouldn’t have to waste precious time on repairs) - but today, there was something simply rabid about him. Something itching and impatient. 

You couldn’t deny that it turned you on, but you had to question what had caused the shift in him. Especially when all of your little games - your teasing, your flirting, your dirty words - hadn’t been able to crack him for months. 

“Daryl, what’s gotten into-?” 

You couldn’t even finish posing the question before he began ripping on the waistband of your pants once again. That tense irritability became potent in the air once again when the fabric got caught up in your boots, Daryl letting out a deep grunt and glaring at the obstacle. 

You reached for the laces in order to get everything off, thinking this was what he wanted, but he simply put two large, commanding, calloused hands on the backs of your thighs and shoved down - hard. He pinned you down to the cot with a tough force, something that made the metal of the supposedly temporary furniture squeal with a worrying sound. You almost didn’t hear it over the pitiful, whorish gasp that escaped your lips. 

He was never like this. He was never so desperate. 

You loved it. Your body was flooded by heat, equally as desperate within seconds. 

“Daryl!” You cried out, half confused, half hot red and turned on. 

Your cunt ached fiercely and clenched around nothing and Daryl locked eyes with that pulsing gash, letting out a pleased hum. There was barely a blink before he dove between his own hands, digging in his fingers in tightly where they held onto your quivering muscles and immediately he licked a long, hard stripe up the center of your pussy. 

Hungry. 

That was a word you would have used to describe Daryl many times before.

He was messy and shameless when he ate meals. You had seen him dig into game bloody and raw when he had taken you out hunting, when he was starving and impatient and truly treasured a fresh kill. 

Currently, that’s exactly what you felt like - a fresh kill, recently captured by him, a true prey animal under his grasp being absolutely devoured while you could do nothing more but lay there and take it. 

It felt utterly amazing. 

It felt like where you belonged. 

The room soon became filled with sounds - loud, adamant slurping as his tongue furiously worked over your cunt, creating the same kind of shameless slobber that he did when he was thoroughly enjoying a meal. Your gasps and moans shuddering through your lungs as the sensations rocked your body, the pitiful squeaking protests of the cot as Daryl leaned against you more, putting more weight on those rusting springs. 

He began moaning against your heated flesh while he continued to hold you down by your trembling thighs, and while your ears rang with blood and your face bloomed with heat, you soon realized that the distant, repeated keening sound you could hear - almost like a dying cat - was you. 

You were having difficulty catching your breath and you quickly became dizzy from the hot, heavy pleasure vibrating up your body from his tongue. Made even better by the feeling of his coarse beard rubbing against your sensitive pussy lips, and the deep vibrations of his moans against you. 

All you could do was tightly clutch onto the blanket you had used to make up the cot and buck your face against him, hoping for him to shove his tongue deep inside of you or put some more persistent attention on your needy, throbbing clit, rather than simply grazing against the sensitive organ with each pass, making you more and more needy - 

Daryl groaned into your cunt and then, much to your frustration, he pulled away completely. 

“Stop squirmin’.” He grunted at you, his voice a whole new shade of dark and lustful thick that you had never heard from him - one that made your whole body quiver. 

You let out a pathetic moan, more wetness gushing out of you. 

“Daryl, please-” 

“Shut up.” 

Somehow, him barking this rudely at you made you even wetter. 

You squeaked out another pathetic little sound, expecting that he would get back to devouring you like you were his last meal, seemingly for his own pleasure - but then, he managed to surprise you yet again. 

He used his hold on your thighs to spread your legs (as much as he could with your pants still tangling your ankles together). And then he pursed his lips and heaved a thick, heavy glob of spit onto you - aiming perfectly and causing it to land right on your sensitive, swollen clit. 

Just like his perfect mouth, it was hot and slick, and simply seeing the shiny bead come from his lips to land on you caused you to scream and buck against him like a cow being branded. Which is exactly what he had intended - for you to be branded by him, marked as his, fully owned by him. 

Hot tears of pleasure escaped your eyes and he locked right onto your gaze - even through the choppy dark curtain of his too-long bangs, his steel blue eyes pierced into your soul and the burning lust you saw there punched you in the gut. When he took one of his hands off your thigh, you didn’t have a moment to think about what he was going to do before he brought the heavy pads of his tough, well-worked fingers down onto your already sore clit and spanked you. 

Once, twice, three times - something he had done to you before, knowing exactly how hard to hit you without making it painful, just enough to jolt shocking pleasure through your body and make you sob. 

“Listen, woman.” 

He ground his voice again, lowly, making you shiver when he leaned in and gripped your face with that now wet hand, forcing you to face forward and pay attention to him. You stared at him through tear-misty eyes, absolutely enraptured and lustful, wanting nothing more than him. 

“This is mine.” He growled these words with quiet power, driving his point home with another smack to your cunt that had you crying out and seizing against the touch. 

“Yours.” You chirped back, eager to affirm it, your brain filled with nothing but him. “Yours, all yours. Daryl-” 

Before you could babble out any more affirmations, he took an even tighter, possessive, bruising death grip on you once again. One hand on your hip and the other on your thigh - trying to keep you right where he wanted you as he dove back in, just as hungry. This time he gave into exactly what you wanted, seemingly because your words had been what he wanted. He knew you all too well even without words, and he latched his mouth around your mound with intent, laving his tongue furiously across your clit without relenting. 

You weren’t sure which was worse - the teasing, or him tongue-fucking your clit like he was trying to drive you insane. 

Your hand flew to his hair with the intention of shoving him off as white hot sparks of overstimulated pleasure-pain flew up through your gut, but your muscles curled instinctively and you wove a tight grip into his locks without thinking. Unintentionally drawing him closer and locking him in place as you gurgled out cries of wounded pleasure and he continued to moan against you, almost making your poor clit numb. 

But of course, being as perfect at this as he was with everything else, he drew an orgasm out of you just as he wanted to. 

“Daryl! Fuck! I’m cumming! I’m cumming! I’m - ah!” 

He moaned against you in pure pleasure as it happened, and then he retreated down your pulsing hole to lick up every single bit of your wetness as it freshly flowed out of you. He continued to moan, slurping and flexing his tongue so he wouldn’t miss a drop, eating you like the finest delicacy he had ever experienced. His tongue even strayed down your perineum, dipping into your other hole a bit, clearly unafraid and never shy, not wanting to miss a single bit of your taste. 

You were left panting, desperate to catch your breath, and with your brain still completely out of commission, he stood up, his mind already on an entirely new track. You couldn’t contain your whine of disappointment when all of his warmth was suddenly gone, even his hands losing contact with your thrumming skin. 

“Daryl-?” 

You didn’t have long to question it before you heard the sound of a zipper. 

Not even knowing when you had closed your eyes, you whipped them open to see him shoving his pants down to mid-thigh and pumping his cock in hand a few stray times before he stepped toward you. You weren’t the biggest fan of the ‘bent in half like a pretzel’ position, as your back was starting to ache slightly, but he took the look of pure hunger in your eyes was all the consent he needed (especially with the way your gaze was focused on his cock, the slight glisten of precum beading at the tip). 

He was secure in knowing that you would stop him or tell him no if you needed to. 

And there were absolutely no thoughts of stopping on your mind when he put a hand back on your hip and used the other hand to guide his cock into you, sinking deep inside of your slicked, hot cunt in one smooth movement. 

Fuck - he always filled you up so fucking good. 

“Dar-” 

“All fuckin’ day.” Daryl growled out, tight through his teeth, taking only a single moment before he began to pump his hips forward, fucking into you. 

He wasn’t quite as furious as before, his pace slower now. Seemingly, he had gotten some of that pure need out of his system by eating your pussy. He began to thrust in and out of you at a leisurely pace, making you feel comfortably, pleasantly full. 

“All fuckin’ day, I had to listen to Zach’s goddamn yappin’.” 

Your brain was slowly coming back into function. 

He had gone on the run with Zach and Sasha. 

You thought Daryl liked Zach? 

Surprisingly, Daryl then reached for your shoes and began undoing the laces - perhaps now finally interested in getting your pants and shoes out of the way. You just laid back and let him do whatever he pleased, your cunt flashing with a warm, pleasant feeling - simply enjoying that it was Daryl fucking you. 

“Had to listen to that little smart-mouthed fuckin’ asshole-” 

Daryl let out another grunt, smacking his hips into yours particularly hard, causing you to let out a gasp. He took off one of your shoes and dropped it to the ground. 

“Had to listen to him go on and on about you.” 

What? 

Then went the other shoe. 

Your jeans followed soon after, easily untangled from your legs by Daryl’s deft fingers, making your legs free up to spread widely, inviting him in further - he laid himself down against your body, and you found your muscles much less stiff with your knees bracketing around his waist. There was another moment of comfortable fullness - stillness, as he laid there, nosing at your neck, seemingly enjoying your scent with deep breaths. 

You ran your fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp in a way you knew he liked, boiling over with curiosity until the question leapt out of you. 

“What happened with Zach?” You had to ask, still slightly fuck-dumb and confused. 

You didn’t know it, but hearing the name come off your lips was enough to trigger another intense wave of that feeling in Daryl. The jealousy, the neediness, the urge to claim you. 

Daryl let out another harsh growl - a sound coming from him that made your pussy leak around him and clench down hard on his cock. He grabbed both your hands and entwined your fingers with his - a fierce, demanding grip rather than a romantic one. He kept you pinned in place, right where he wanted you, and he began fucking his hips into you at a fast, hard pace that was enough to push a scream right from your lungs. 

“He - would-n’t - shut - the - fuck - up.” Daryl grunted in your ear, emphasizing each sharp syllable with a deep, harsh pounding of his hips into your pussy. “About you.” He whispered those words lowly, dangerously into your ear. 

“Daryl-” You gasped, your whole body dizzy and vibrating with that electricity once again. 

“About your ass-” 

He reached down and grabbed your ass - harsh, digging his fingers into the flesh with a possessive touch that made you cry out. He hammered his hips forward and used that touch to drag you toward his cock, fucking you onto him like a fleshlight for a few moments before he continued speaking. 

“About your tits-” 

He reached up and groped your breasts aggressively through your shirt, popping one of the tiny decorative buttons. A wreckage that would only serve to show off more cleavage in the end. Your nipples instantly became stiff under his touch and you arched into his hands - only for the rough, wonderful feeling to be gone too soon. 

“Daryl,” 

“He wouldn’t stop talkin’ bout what you might look like when you cum.” He growled out. “When he ain’t never gonna get to know.” 

It was thrilling, him being so possessive of you now. But you knew that it was so Daryl. Him being angry at Zach for speaking about you in a vulgar way, but holding his tongue - not speaking up then because he wanted to keep your relationship private, didn’t want to claim you in front of someone publicly. 

Or he simply kept his mouth shut because he didn’t want to lose his temper when they had a job to do. 

“He wouldn’t stop-” 

“Please, I’m yours.” You moaned out, grinding your hips into him desperately, needy for his full and focused attention. 

As much as you enjoyed the jealousy streak that had started this heated encountered, you needed Daryl to focus on you now - not on the words of some petty boy who had either been trying to rile Daryl up or didn’t even know the two of you were together because of the lack of PDA in your relationship. 

“Daryl, please. I’m yours.” 

“Tha’s right,” Daryl growled out, his voice dangerously low. “You’re mine.” 

He leaned tightly over you once again, and when his hips picked up speed - you were done for.

...

A/N: Please keep in mind, this is a oneshot, and there will not be a continuation or a 'Part 2'. If you are going to comment, please comment about the body of work that has already been written. If you like this and you want to see more of my fics in my style, you can check out my most recent fic Heaven's Gate, which is also a Daryl Dixon x Reader fic, or you can check out my other TWD works on AO3.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

ℳ𝒶𝓎𝒷𝒶𝓃𝓀𝓈 𝓈𝒾𝓈𝓉ℯ𝓇

Chapter 4- I love you.

Season 2, ep 3-4

Series masterlist

Summary- something is wrong with Rafe, no one will listen, except for you.

“Rafe I know you’re upset, I know you’re feeling bad. But you don’t have to, okay? I know you didn’t mean to hurt her. All right? They said they’ve checked all the hospitals, they checked the morgue. There’s been nothing. It’s good news, means she’s okay, all right? She’ll come back to us.”

“What if I’m not okay?” He spoke, trying his best to open up to his dad. It was always Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.

“What? I’m sorry.”

“I’m not okay.”

“You are. You’re okay, buddy.”

He shook his head, Ward didn’t get it. “No, dad, I’m not okay.”

“We’ll go back, get a good nights sleep. We’ll get a steak or soemthing. You’re gonna feel completely different in the morning, I know you will.”

Rafe put his face in hands, he wasn’t listening. “Dad, I thought I was okay, but I’m not.” His voice cracked and his eyes welled up with tears, he hid it from his dad.

“Get control of yourself.” Ward whispered.

“I just keep… I keep having these um… these thoughts in my head.” He stood up. “And I don’t know if I can control them. And I’m just… I’m afraid. I don’t know how much more of this shit i can take.” Rafe finally looked at his dad, who stood in front of him now.

The two talked over each other.

“I need you, okay? Not her. I need you, Kay?”

“I know, i know-“

“You’re not listening to me, I’m having a hard time,”

Ward hugged him, it was all fake affection. Just a show.

“You need to man up. Okay, look at me.” Wards hands went to the back of Rafe’s neck, making him look into his eyes. “Man up right now. Thank you.”

Rafe stared at him, he didn’t understand. He watched Ward lie to the cops, staring distantly.

He took out his phone with a deep breath, pulling up your contact. You were the only one he knew would listen.

He looked up at Ward who was walking back over to him now.

“Where you going, Rafe?” Ward asked when he turned around and began to walk away.

“On a walk, I’ll meet you at the house soon.” He mumbled.

“Rafe, it’s dark, you can’t-“

Rafe didn’t care, ignoring his father’s protests against it and putting the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” You mumbled out tiredly after a few rings.

“Hey. Sorry to wake you up.” He spoke, his voice making your eyes widen and sit up on the couch.

“No. No you’re fine. Uhm… how is it…?”

He chuckled quietly, shaking his head to himself and running a hand through his hair.

“Pretty bad.”

“Why?” You asked him, listening. You listened to him intently as he spoke, unlike his dad and the others.

“Uhm… Sarah and her boyfriend are alive.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah. It was uh… yeah. Anyways, they tried to get the gold from us and I just… I accidentally shot her.” His voice was hoarse, he messed with the ring on his finger.

“Are you okay?”

His hands stopped, he froze for a moment. That was the first time he’d heard the words come out of anyone’s mouth.

“I… I don’t know. I just… I keep…” he paused, you could tell he was hesitating.

“You can tell me.”

“I keep having these, uh, thoughts… like, really, really bad ones.”

“About…?”

He swallowed. “Everything.”

“And I don’t think I’m okay. I think there’s something wrong with me.” His breathing was heavy.

“Rafe…”

“And no one will listen. Not my dad, not my friends, nobody. And all he tells me is to ‘man up’ but I can’t. I can’t do it anymore.” There was now tears falling down his face, he ran a hand over his face.

“I’m here. I’m here for you. Your dad is an asshole, he’s making you do his dirty work for him. You can’t keep doing it. It’s not good for you.”

“I know, I know. But I just want him to love me, I want him to-“

“You want him to see you. I know.”

“That’s all I want.”

It was silent for a little, his sobs being the only thing heard.

“I love you.” You told him after a while. It was the first time he’d heard the words in a long time, you’ve never said it to him and he’s never said it to you.

His crying had stopped, and he sniffled. “I love you too. I’m sorry for this.”

“It’s okay.”

“When I get back, can I come over?”

“Of course.” You told him, looking around the house. “It feels empty here.” You said with a laugh.

“He never showed up?”

“He got arrested, again. I know, shocking.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’m used to it by now.”

“Right…” he chuckled. “I’m sorry, again. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you.”

————————————

“Why did you make me walk all the way out here? What’s going on?”

“I have to tell you something.” Ward turned to Rose now. “Sarah… is alive. I saw her in Nassau with John B. Um… she was with people from the island, and they tried to take the gold from us on the road there. But it got ugly. She got shot. But he didn’t mean to, Rose.”

She was shocked, her mouth agape as she listened.

“He was just… he was aiming at John..”

“Who- who didn’t mean to?”

“Rafe.”

“Oh..”

“He didn’t mean to, though, honey, he was just…”

“Rafe shot Sarah? Is she okay?”

“I don’t know. I hope so, God.”

“Well, I told the police that Rafe was here when Peterkin was shot.”

“So? Yeah?”

“So? So if Sarah’s coming home and testifies and they believe her,”

“She’s not gonna do that-“

“It’ll come out that I lied under oath.”

“She’s not gonna do it!”

“Of course she would! Rafe just shot her!”

“Rose, she… he didn’t mean to!”

“Ward, Ward. Ward, there’s something wrong with him, okay? You’ve been ignoring it since he was ten but there is something wrong with Rafe. He hasn’t been home in almost 2 days-“

“Stop it, Rose, okay? Please. I’m asking you to stop.”

“You always told me to think three moves ahead. Well I’m thinking, and if you can’t keep Sarah from testifying, you’re gonna have to make a choice. Rafe or Sarah.”

“I can’t choose.”

“Well, if it comes down to it and you can’t make the decision, I will.” She turned to walk away.

——————

“Bro, the kick on a Glock 17, like I mean you… you load it up, you line it up. It’s like… yah!” Rafe fake a shot, knocking into a man who stared at him.

“Do you mind?” Bob asked him.

“Do I mind?” Rafe asked, leaning down against the bar.

“Yeah, I do mind, Bob. C’mon, take a shot with me… pussy.” He mumbled, pouring the drink onto the spot in front of him.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing?!” The man shouted, standing up and pushing Rafe.

“Take a seat, that’s what you need to do!” The man sat down and Rafe tried to fight him before Kelce pushed him away.

“Jesus Christ.” You mumbled, walking up to the two. You checked his location on his phone, and when you saw him out you knew exactly what he was doing.

“How’d you get here?” He slurred, turning to you with a furrowed eyebrow.

“I snuck in, what the fuck happened, Rafe?”

“Nobody’ll drink with me, man.”

Kelce interrupted.

“Sorry, but I swear to God, 20 minutes ago, I just saw John B and your sister, bro. They’re alive.”

“I’m trying to relax and you come over here and tell me this bullshit?”

“I know you’re trying to relax, bro. But I saw them buying beer at Geechies.”

“Freaking bullshit.”

“You wanna go see for yourself? I’m telling you, I saw them, go sober up, man.”

“Hey, put it on Cameron!” He shouted as the two of you walked away.

“I don’t think going to your dealer is going to help this shit, okay?” You told him when he spoke his plan.

“Go home, y/n.” He tried to wave you off, walking towards his bike.

“Rafe, I’m being serious.”

“You can help us or go home.”

You groaned in annoyance. You didn’t trust him driving in his drunken state. And someone had to hold him back in case things did get messy.

“I’m driving. I’m not trying to get us both killed.” You mumbled, getting on his bike.

“Yes ma’am.” He mumbled. Wrapping his arms around your body and leaning his head against your back.

——

Taglist:

@cassie0sstuff @rafesgiirl @fals3-g0d @tiaamberxx @callsignwidow

[novacorpsrecruit]

Hi a quick lil read: I did a poll the other day because I was thinking of creating Steddie fic recs and so I decided I’m gonna do 5-10 fic recs a post based on some sort of theme and here’s the first installment! Please feel free to ask for themes, I can’t promise I’ll fulfill them but I’ll do my best.

Theme: my favorite fucking idiots

single / taken / pining by 96tears (Ao3) @pizzaqueen (tumblr)

T | wc 4,435 | no cw

Summary: When a girl Steve’s trying to flirt with starts flirting with Eddie, Steve says the only thing that comes to mind: he tells her Eddie’s married. It’s not his smoothest moment, but it works, and Eddie goes along with it. It's not like Eddie was interested, anyway, and he figures Steve wanted the ladies to himself. So, Steve figures that must be it, too.

But a little later it hits him: he doesn’t want to keep the ladies to himself. He wants to keep Eddie to himself.

Ugh!!! I love it when the dumbasses don’t understand why they’re jealous, or that they’re jealous in the first place. Post season 4, Steve and Eddie work at Family Video and the Arcade respectfully, and come and bug each other during slow times. Steve gets a little jealous when a girl starts hitting on Eddie.

‘cause tramps like us, baby, we were born to run by stellapoint (pettifogger) (ao3) @heybluechild (tumblr)

T | wc 9,308 | no cw

Summary: Realization #1: Steve is wearing a costume. He’s dressed as Springsteen on the cover of Born In The U.S.A. The album cover is staring at Eddie from the stack of records by the speakers, and he flicks his eyes between the cover and Steve, almost laughing at how obvious the resemblance is.

Immediately after that, revelations two and three slam into him like an eighteen-wheeler.

#2: Bruce Springsteen is kind of hot.

#3: Steve Harrington is really hot.

A fourth and much louder thought echoes through Eddie’s brain: oh, shit.

(Many months ago, I wrote a tumblr post about Steve Harrington being a Bruce Springsteen enjoyer. This fic is about that.)

Takes place after season 4, Eddie and Steve are friend. Eddie’s love language is music. He’s a bit of a music snob, and doesn’t understand why Steve wants him to like his music. It takes a moment for it to click to Eddie what’s really going on. I love Eddie but sometimes you want to shake him like a snowglobe and oh my god, I’m shaking him so hard.

wasted crying by MixAddams (Ao3) @mixsethaddams (tumblr)

T | wc 6,471 | cw ow (light angst)

Summary: Steve just wants a buddy.

So why does it hurt so much when Eddie introduces everyone to his new girlfriend?

There’s a happy ending I swear! You’ll just want to bundle Steve up in a few blankets first. Post season 4, Eddie gets a girlfriend, and Steve is not jealous. Not at all. He just … misses being in the honeymoon phase of dating? No that can’t be right… is it? There’s a lot of good heartaches in this fic. I do want to share one of my favorite lines:

“I think so. Stuff like this is supposed to scare you, I think,” said Eddie. “It’s supposed to feel….”

Eddie took a breath and Steve watched his eyes move around as he searched for the words. Steve thought he might wait forever for him to find them.

“It’s supposed to feel like a leap, right?”

I can be pretty (why don’t you think I’m pretty?) by starsdontsleep (ao3)

T | wc 8,942 | no cw

Summary: When Eddie comes out as gay, he assures Steve that he doesn’t find him hot. Steve tells him it’s fine, he even teasingly asks what he should do to change that. It becomes a thing. A way to always make Eddie laugh, blush and relax around him—but as the days and weeks pass, Steve begins to realise that maybe there’s another reason why he cares so much that Eddie Munson finds him pretty.

Remember when I said I’m shaking Eddie like a snowglobe? I’m shaking Steve now. Steve, please tell me why you think you want Eddie to think you’re pretty? Why do you need to know what Eddie’s type? Steve’s only worried that Eddie doesn’t fully trust him with his sexuality. So Steve works to be the best ally… and definitely does not fall in love with his friend along the way.

clown music at the disco by fragilecapricorn (ao3) @fragilecapric0rnn (tumblr)

M | wc 3,717 | no cw

Summary: “What the fuck are you doing here?” He nearly squawked, meaning for it to come out anyway other than that. The man turned around, and here he was. In a stare down with ghostly pale Steve Harrington, who was not only supposed to be straight, but was also in a MESH TANK TOP at Frankie’s on a Wednesday night.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He pauses, glancing around the room, small voice. “It’s disco night.”

Post Season 4, Eddie, Robin and Steve move to the Chicago. Eddie has a new habit of going to the bar on gay disco night, finding another brunette ex-jock to fill the Steve shaped hole in his heart. Until he runs into said brunette ex-jock at the same gay bar on disco night. 10/10 no notes I’ve read this like 5 times.

of all the gin joints by genesisofrhythm (Ao3)

e | wc 4,016 | cw: they fuck | spice level: I read this at my work desk in between meetings

Summary: “So, do you come here often?”

Steve choked at the familiar voice, turning abruptly. “Munson?”

“What’re you doing here?” Eddie asked, his mouth gaping open as he looked over at Steve.

Steve was surprised to see Eddie here as well. What were the odds of them both driving out of Hawkins to come to the same gay bar?

Or: Steve goes to a gay bar to support Robin, when he sees Eddie Munson. He can't tell Eddie the real reason he's there without outing Robin so he tells him he's bisexual. But Steve's totally straight... right?

Steve [Evan Buckley voice]: “I’m an ally ✊”

This is a fun fic, definitely Steve Harrington speed running a sexuality crisis. Good for him. (also I have a soft spot for fics that use fob lyrics as a title, forehead kisses for that)

Exactly What It Looks Like - BilbosMom (Ao3) @bilbosmom-belladonna (tumblr)

E | wc 31,517 | cw | spice level: I should not have read this at my desk 😳🥵

Summary: Steve makes a face at Eddie. “You've imagined doing stuff with a guy?”

“Yeah, man,” Eddie replies, spreading his hands wide. “Doesn't everyone?”

Steve tilts his head to the side as he thinks. Maybe not very often, but his freshman year when Davey Riggs had been swim team captain? Yeah, he had definitely imagined some stuff that had made trips to the locker room kinda awkward.

“Yeah, that's true,” Steve answers, nodding. “I wonder why everybody acts like it's so gross, though.”

In the summer of 1986, Steve and Eddie have some perfectly normal fun between a couple of perfectly normal dudes.

I’m honestly insane over this. Like, I’m going to be thinking about this for a long time. Post-Season 4, Eddie and Steve find themselves watching porn together. And it’s not weird at all if you jerk off next to your new best friend. And maybe it becomes a habit. And helping them out every once in a while isn’t weird. And maybe sucking his cock isn’t weird. Or fucking his thighs —

Please remember to leave kudos and comments on the fics you read/enjoyed! Support your writers 🖤

[ilikekidsshows]

I almost feel bad for the Marinette stans that are still fighting tooth and nail to claim that Marinette would never use Adrien's amoks

Like.. guys, what show are you watching? If Marinette knows an option exists, she will eventually justify maxing it out to her advantage. Sure, she wont do it willy-nilly for no reason, but I can easily see it happening that if Adrien were to now want to go back to working in his father's business because he's Gabriel's heir so he can take it over when he's of age to not lose the business his saint of a father built for them

Yeah, Marinette would justify using the amoks against him to change Adrien's mind to wanting to take over her parents' bakery for example because him going back is "wrong" and she knows what's "right". Adrien has no reason anymore to not wanting to go back to working in the Gabriel business. He thinks he owes his dead family to keep their legacy going. Adrien is all that's left of the Agreste's, s5 brought this up several times.

Marinette saying at the end of season 5 that Adrien "doesn't need to be as great as his hero father. She loves him anyway <3 (isn't she such a saint too? ^^)" is nice and well, but she also says that its HIM who decides what his future will be and that is laughably unlikely for Marinette to actually respect. If Adrien makes a big decision she doesn't agree with, she wont respect it. When has she ever?

Adrien has no reason to not decide to be his father's heir again and no way in hell will Marinette give anything resembling to a valid reason against it. She can't, it would require the truth and communication skills she refuses to work on.

I can even see it happening that Marinette will break up with him over this while going "I cant bare watching you do this 😔" hoping that itll make Adrien give in, and if he dares to choose his dead family over her she'll use his amoks "for his own good" cause "what was she supposed to do? 😭"

Or any similar situation. No, she wont do it at any little problem, but saying that Marinette would NEVER do it makes me wonder if these people like canon Marinette at all if they are so in denial about her massively flawed character.

Now, her doing it to CHAT NOIR is a different thing. Pre season 5, she would use his amok in a heart beat and claim its a totally level headed and a phenomenal battle strategy he needs to learn to respect her for. It would be sold as "he trusts her so MUCH uwu" and "she would never hurt him, it cant be abusive 😢"

Thats one of the only good things I can say about season 4 Ladynoir. At least Marinette didnt know Chat Noir is a Sentimonster. Knowing Marinette's disastrous writing in that conflict (she was rewarded for and held to 0 moral standards), she might have even refused to give the amok back to him and taken it with her "for save keeping because shes the guardian and she decided that him having his amok is too dangerous".

She would have raped his mind several times just to avoid any pushback or confrontation. She would have used "kind" phrasing to order him to shut up or to just stand there and do nothing but follow her orders.

She wouldn't have considered Chat's humanity one bit because for her hes already just some magical pet, and would have still only started crying for herself once anything might have asked her to realize what shes doing to him is wrong. Why should this factor cause a development in her that hasn't happened in Canon? Canon Marinette is a selfish leech in her treatment of Chat Noir. He cant have anything or anyone. She will abuse him however she likes, she gives no support back, she forbids him from existing as a real person, shes entirely uninterested in him as a person, she lies and uses him with a smile to prevent him from ever asks anything of her ever again the second even the tiniest consideration was expected of her, and then turns around and plays blameless cause "he didn't tell me 😢 im so pure he just isn't dedicating himself enough to me 😭" once she has to somewhat face that he wasn't treated well.

It is a god send that Marinette doesn't know that Chat Noir is a Sentimonster. Sure, she would show at least SOME restraint for Adrien, but even that has obvious limits once she doesn't agree with the big decisions he will make. But Chat Noir? Lord have mercy on that boy, she already barely allows him any true personhood and treats him like an animal and puppet to abuse, sacrifice, and posses to stroke her ego.

She would abuse the SHIT out of that amok and the show would paint her as "kind" and "loving" or "badass" for doing it over and over and OVER again.

But it's fine, cause she's doing it with love ❤️ and isn't her doing all that to him the proof he needed that she values him cause otherwise she would have long killed him like the goddess of justice she is? 😘

---

Oh, yeah, I have no faith on Marinette’s self control over the Amok if Adrien did something she found “bad” enough that she’d have “no other choice”. I think Adrien's career path would invoke this reaction if she couldn't badger, pressure and hound him into changing his mind first. She'd be crying while she does it about how she doesn't want to but she can't lose Adrien after they've come so far together and we’d be expected to think that yeah, she's totally justified, couldn't Adrien just do whatever Marinette wants because it's so sad when Marinette is upsette.

You're also totally right on how Ladybug would totally be controlling Cat Noir with his Amok if she had the knowledge and access. After all, Cat Noir gets mind controlled so often that it's just an excellent backup plan for Ladybug to have a counter mind control option. And it would be so convenient if she could just will Cat Noir to do what her plan requires instead of telling him to, because now the enemy can't hear her scheme. It's fine, because she's the leader and Cat Noir would follow her lead anyway. There's no moral conundrum here, because she's Ladybug and she decides what good and evil mean!

[queerfandomtrifecta]

So a lot is bothering me about the narrative structure of season two. If I didn’t have my own novel to work on and didn’t have several more edits commissioned, I’d write a fix-it fic for all of season two to fix the narrative stuff and to really delve into character arcs that felt off. Maybe I will anyway. Idk. If someone who actually has time wants to take any or all of this and write a fic, go for it. Can’t wait to read it. Anyway, this is a very rough outline that’s subject to change if I do write the fic, but from a developmental editing perspective, here’s my two cents nobody asked for on season 2:

Thematic elements: Atonement and coping with trauma, the crew leaving (especially in regards to Stede’s emotional wound where he’s worried about people being better off without him) and identity (especially in regards to Ed/Stede/Izzy). These are present in the show as-is, but they don’t play out well just yet. I’m focusing on these to make things cohesive.

Episodes 1-3: mostly perfect. Loved these and the pacing felt correct for the most part. I would keep the tone from these episodes through the season. Ricky would be introduced here. Zheng is fantastic and all of her stuff stays here.

What I’d change: Ned Low would be the primary antagonist for this season. Ricky would be set up through this season to be the primary antagonist next season. Ned Low’s record is Ed’s original suicide by proxy plan, and that needs to be introduced here. There needs to be a scene showing how Ned tortures people in these episodes. Izzy needs to bring it up as a concern to Ed. Ed doesn’t care about the crew’s safety, obviously, someone (Izzy) needs to mention Ned’s record and possible repercussions here. I’d also NOT play Lucius’s trauma reveal with Stede like a comedy beat. (Like seriously, I HATE that the show played SA as a comedy beat.) Black Pete would be shown crying of Lucius so it’s not just told randomly after the fact. Olu would be shown missing Jim.

Episode 4: The unicorn thing with Izzy was beautiful and I’d keep that. Stede and Ed going to Mary and Anne’s is fine. Buttons can APPEAR to turn into a seagull.

What I’d change: The Kraken Crew and Lucius need to stay paranoid longer. They need to tally things up and realize that Low’s record has been broken (I think Ed was too checked out from reality/high on rhino horn to even realize he’d broken it; Izzy has bigger things going on and likely also lost track) but that record being broken was NEVER shown in the original, just told after the fact. In order to NOT switch to a speculative genre randomly for a convenient metaphor, Buttons appears to turn into a seagull but he doesn’t literally. Revealed to the audience but not to Ed/Stede (more on this later). Stede doesn’t put it to a vote that Ed can come back. He’s the captain and decides that that’s how it’s gonna be. The crew is also gonna look to former first-mate Frenchie (whose trauma is in a box) for direction when Izzy is struggling. It’s Frenchie’s idea about the leg. Izzy is still struggling a little more after his new leg, and I think he should be shown happy at the end but with a bottle of something not far from him (but more in that later).

Episode 5: Ed’s influencer non-apology clearly written by Stede works. Ed and Stede need time apart. The cursed suit can stay for the levity of it. Ed and Fang can go fishing. The moonlight kiss scene works for the most part.

What I’d change: Izzy can be sassy with Lucius, and a bit of a mentor to Stede, but he’s going to be drinking in this episode. Not plastered drunk like ep 4, but it’s gonna clearly be a struggle and everyone is just Not Talking About It. Lucius might start to parallel that a bit and I’d like to see more interaction with them there. I’d also like to see the Kraken Crew (all the crew really) treating Izzy as their captain. Stede says he doesn’t feel like the captain and there should be a reason for that. If he forced them to let Ed back on the boat in ep 4, that can be addressed here. Izzy is following Stede so he can eventually persuade everyone they have to as well, though Izzy’s earned more trust than anyone at this point. I’d delve into him doing for Stede what he did for Ed pre-season one (“massaged the crew” when Ed’s moods seemed off to keep things running (I can’t remember the exact quote past that, but that’s essentially the idea). The Kraken Crew needs to be wary of Ed longer. They do not believe Buttons is a seagull. They all think Ed killed him and Stede says he didn’t see Buttons turn into a seagull, but he takes Ed’s side and doesn’t think Ed killed him. That starts a rift and an “us or Ed” thing that’ll play out later. Ed can try to interact with the crew and get the cold shoulder. He’s done nothing to restore his reputation. As far as the cursed suit goes, I would have them receive some sort of warning from Ned Low when they go to pawn the suit off on the other ship. Stede or/or Izzy would keep it quiet from the crew, who are only just now starting to follow Stede as the captain. Ricky needs to be shown here wanting to end piracy, and interacting with Zheng. After the moonlight kiss, I’d have them holding hands as they walk off. I think maybe Lucius would want to leave the ship here. The Swede and Buttons are gone already, and it makes sense for Lucius to want to leave but Black Pete to want to stay. They’ll both still be on board here though.

Episode 6: Calypso’s Birthday will be the plot for 7/8.

What I’d change: let me preface this by saying I haven’t worked Zheng’s plot fixes out fully. But. If we’re moving this to the next two episodes, something has to happen here. I’d keep the bit with the guilt room and with Ed giving away treasure to the urchins saying don’t be pirates, but have him say more in front of Stede about how piracy is bad for specific reasons that Stede just doesn’t clock as Ed wanting to stop. I think the plot will be along the lines of Stede engaging in more piracy. Ed will quietly be struggling with the fact that Stede is becoming a more and more proficient pirate in his own way, Ed himself not wanting to pirate anymore, and his tentative new relationship with the captain of a ship he is definitely not wanted on by anyone other than Stede. Zheng needs to interact with Ricky here about him wanting to end piracy. Izzy is a good first mate here but he’s still drinking. Lucius may start to parallel that here. Former first mate Frenchie picks up the slack and falls into a leadership role when Izzy is struggling too much, and this is eventually gonna cause him to have to deal with his trauma that’s bottled up, when he has to talk to Izzy about clearly not handling his own. Eventually, things will come to a head with the crew not wanting Ed on board. It becomes an “us vs him” thing with the crew threatening to leave if Es doesn’t. Stede will try to smooth things over but Ed will interrupt and say don’t bother, he’s leaving. He doesn’t know who he is but at least fisherman would be better than pirate. Episode ends with Stede heartbroken and Ed going off to fish in something that isn’t his leathers, so he wouldn’t be recognizable from a distance. Low pinpoints Stede’s ship but doesn’t see Ed on it, and plans to bait him out by boarding and torturing the crew.

Episodes 7-8: Nope. I’d keep almost none of this.

What I’d change: This part is also still rough and I need to flesh it out a bit more, BUT: Calypso’s birthday would be episode 7. The crew would wanna party but also wanna cheer up their sulking captain. They’re glad Ed is gone. Izzy is a good first mate here but still drinking. He encourages the party to Stede who agrees. They’re spending Ed’s treasure that he’s left, turning the poison into positivity by getting rid of the bad memories the Kraken Crew has of obtaining it. Stede and Izzy bond a lot here. Ned Low does interrupt the party (I think maybe he’s also “working” with Ricky but not really, he has his own agenda) planning to bait Ed back. The scene in Stede’s quarters would be Izzy and Stede, not Ed and Stede. Once again the crew are suffering for Ed’s actions, and THAT is how Ed can atone for it. He can save them, probably with the help of Zheng who he’ll have met when he goes off to be a fisherman. So there’s some camaraderie going there. Also, with help from Lucius and Black Pete, who will have to trust him in order to save the crew/themselves. Stede will be the one to kill Ned Low, and he and Ed will still impulsively sleep together as a coping mechanism at the end of episode 8. Izzy is still alive and well (though still drinking a lot; and I think this could be a key to Frenchie having to confront trauma instead of locking it in the box), and things aren’t smoothed out with Ed and Izzy yet, that’s for next season, Ed has ACTUALLY done something to earn the crew’s trust back, and it appears to be a happy enough ending for Ed and Stede. Also, IF Ed says “I love you”, Stede is GONNA say “I love you too” because WTAF was that in the show?! But I’d end the season with La Vie en Rose and fireworks, Izzy happy and celebrating with the crew, a happy moment for Ed/Stede, the antagonist defeated, and Ed actually having atoned for his previous actions.

All of this is rough, but it’s my original thoughts. If anyone wants to use the base of this to write a fix-it fic, go for it. I may do it myself if I can find the time between work writing responsibilities.

[eww-y-tho]

The hypothetical debates surrounding the whole "Lady and Lord Whistledown" vs "Colin and Penelope Bridgerton" make me wither because

Lady and Lord Whistledown.

I'm telling you, this shit would be so fucking funny. I can picture it in my mind's eye: Bridgerton season 4, we get a quick shot of Colin and Penelope talking shit and giggling like crazy in the background, maybe with some PDA to match because Colin can't keep his hands off her, only to hear a male voice actor of a similar calibre to our angel Julie Andrews join in sometimes while Charlotte picks up the paper and cackles. Obviously, the reveal would happen, but I want to believe that our Queen would be down for Whistledown to continue as long as it doesn't get too personal. It would be kind of unfair and a bit indicative of the period, monarchy and all, but Charlotte being in on it would amp up the comedy points. Plus some ~historical cultural commentary~ would just be that final flavouring of spice.

It would kind of feel like Colin's turning to the dark side because we've already seen quite a few scenes where he seems possessed by Lady Whistdown's attitude and I love the idea of him coming from hating Lady Whistledown's guts to protecting her and joining in because it's fun and it activated his little shit reflex. Plus the subtextual implications of just how much Colin and Penelope actually are best friends and are connected beyond normalcy would just be *chef's kiss*

I would also love it because it feels very partner-in-crime vibes, giving another aspect to their relationship that would be fun to see. Combined with the power Lady Whistledown has on the story, we'd be guaranteed to see our beans quite a lot. Also a "Hello, my Lady," followed by a "Hello, my Lord" after a particularly steamy scene would literally have me shaking crying giggling dancing kicking my feet.

As for Penelope, it honestly depends on how you view her character and her relationship with Lady Whistledown. If the person in question thinks that Lady Whistledown is a vital part of her personality, an aspect of who she is, limiting her by making her quit would just feel really, really sad, man. Lady Whistledown has caused Pen a lot of grief, however, and we see it a lot throughout the story, so I think Colin being there, sharing the secret and partaking would make her feel much more comfortable in her own skin.

Anyway. Love the idea, and would perish if it happened, but probably won't.

Colin and Penelope Bridgerton.

This one's more cute than anything else. Two writers as a couple release solo and joint works sometimes while establishing their reputation as respectable authors and leaving Lady Whistledown behind them. I can see another scene in my mind's eye, Colin and Pen are sitting across from each other on their respective writing desks, writing and then handing each other their work to review and give opinions, paired with a kiss after they start teasing each other about their writing. Considering that the designated Sexy Desk Scene has already been taken, this would have to be in a secluded area or in their bedroom. And then shots of people buying their books and enjoying them would ensue.

With the amount of journals and letters and things Colin's done, he's practically primed for an author's role. Maybe they can be more exposed to Colin's love for travel in this version. Having Penelope with him on his trips while writing their little hearts out would be adorable. Sadly, though, this would mean that they would probably have less screen time.

If you see Lady Whistledown as an outlet for the suffering Penelope was going through throughout the story, she wouldn't need Lady Whistledown anymore and abandon the alias because she's served her purpose as Penelope's coping mechanism, and Colin and Penelope would find their fix through other means. Maybe continuing to gossip but only between the two of them, going back to the beginning of the series and the final link to their relationship.

It's been established over and over again that they both love reading, writing, gossiping, and discussing all things philosophical. And each other for enjoying those qualities. So, I think this dynamic would be particularly interesting because it would be yet another way to connect. They could probably also make each other all hot and bothered by leaving random sexy letters sporadically, which would just be so fitting, tbh. However, that would also work for the Lady and Lord Whistledown dynamic so it's kind of a null point. It would be hot, though.

And, yeah, that's how I see those hypothetical dynamics playing out and how that would affect the characters. But now for the negatives. While I love the Lord Whistledown idea, I do think that Colin is a bit too nice and cute for that, and it would probably be a bit OOC, especially because of his personal experiences with Whistledown, it would be a bit weird if his tune suddenly changed to "yeah, I know gossip can ruin someone's life, but I like it now, so I don't care." But I also just can't fathom Bridgerton without Lady Whistledown, and this idea hinges on literally removing the narrator and source of all the tea, as well as making us lose our angel Julie Andrews. At least the Lady and Lord Whistledown idea fulfills almost all fronts of their relationship dynamic.

Again, as the GIF demonstrates, both are good, and I love both of them for the different ways they would take the characters, but let's be real, a combo would be really fun as well. Like Pen keeps up with Lady Whistledown while Colin writes his own books or smth.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. Bye.

[thesparkling-diamond27]

The Second Bridgerton And I: Part 5

Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

Summary: Y/n Clearwater becomes named the “Sparkling Diamond” by Queen Charlotte herself, but she doesn’t know what to do with all this attention. Of course she has her family, but sometimes that doesn’t seem enough. But what happens when she encounters a specific Bridgerton, which changes the course of her season.

Author’s Note: This chapter includes scenes from season 3 episode 3 of Bridgerton. Down below is the link to the part 4 and part 6. I hope you enjoy!

I awaited for the impact and felt nothing. I released the breath I was holding and turned around to see that it was Lord Debling who saved me.

“Thank you Lord Debling.”

“You are we—“

“Y/n!” Someone shouted “Y/n!”

I turned to the voice and saw Benedict running down the stairs of the wooden platform towards me. As he reached to where Lord Debling and I were he crouched down to my level and inspected my body for injures.

“Are you hurt? Did the ballon hit you?”

“I am alright.” I placed my hand over his to calm him down and the concern and fear in his eyes seemed to fade slightly, but not completely.

“Thanks to Lord Debling I am safe.”

“Y/n are you okay?” Penelope asked.

I did not realize while talking to Benedict, Penelope made her way over here and stood behind him. Before I could respond, my family came running towards us. My mama and father were at the front with my brothers close on their tails.

“Y/n dearest are you hurt?” My mama asked when she reached me.

“Y/n are you harmed?” Noah asked.

Noah and Alex both crouched down on each side of Benedict and started to inspect me like how Benedict did before.

“Do not worry about me dear brothers I am unharmed. Lord Debling saved me from the balloon hitting me and Penelope and Mr. Bridgerton made sure that I was alright before you all showed up.”

My family all turned to Lord Debling and my father spoke up first.

“Lord Debling. Thank you for saving my daughter. I am in your debt. Whatever you desire I shall comply.”

Lord Debling stood from the ground and said , “There is no need. I did what any noble gentleman would do. Clearwater family. Mr. Bridgerton. Miss Featherington.”

He then walked away to check on Cressida who was “crying” and seemed to be faking an ankle injury. Alex spoke to Benedict.

“Thank you so much for checking on my sister Benedict. I am glad I can trust you with her when I am not around.”

“It is the least I could do for my best friend.” Benedict said.

“Since Lord Debling did not accept my father’s offer, will you accept? For saving my sister.”

“I did not help her for an award. I did not do much anyway. I only checked to make sure she was alright.”

“Do not downplay your actions.” My mama said, “I am grateful for any part you had in helping my daughter. Maybe I will invite you and your family for dinner.”

“Dinner seems acceptable.” Benedict said.

I turned to Benedict and realized that he was already looking at me. Was he looking at me the whole time? No that is not possible he was talking with Alex and mama. But maybe he was when he wasn’t talking with them…

I did not notice the confused look upon my mama’s face or the amused one on Penelope’s as Benedict helped me to my feet and made sure I was alright once again with gentle attention. He held on to my arms for any sign of discomfort and I silently reassured him that I was well.

“I will speak with your family right now Benedict.” My mama said, “Thank you again!”

“You’re welcome.” Benedict said with a smile.

My mama gestured for my family to follow her, however I decided to stay behind with Benedict and Penelope. Penelope squeezed my arm and said, “I am glad you are okay. Would you like me to stay?”

“No I am okay.” I replied.

She nodded and gave me a teasing smile, after glancing at Benedict, and walked away. As soon as Penelope was out of hearing distance Benedict asked,

“Are you sure you are alright?”

“Yes I am fine. I am just a little startled as one would be in a situation like this.”

“Would you like to sit down?”

I nodded and Benedict placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me to a nearby bench. Even though there was fabric separated skin on skin contact, I still felt a tingling sensation when he touched my back. I tried my best to hide what I was feeling, but my breath hitched and Benedict noticed.

“Again. Are you well?”

He thought I was still shaken up from the accident with the balloon. If only he knew.

“Yes I am truly.” I said.

His face showed that he did not believe me, but he nodded regardless. We reached the bench and he urged me to sit down, while he stood in front of me.

“Is there anything that you want that I can get you?”

“No. Only your company.”

I patted the empty space on the bench beside me for him to sit. He accepted the invitation and sat next to me.

“You can tell spring is here.” I said, “The flowers are so beautiful.”

“I can agree.”

We continued sitting in a comfortable silence. The breeze died down, but it still appeared every once in a while. The trees rustling, the birds chirping and the chatter of people all at once created a cohesive harmony that became calming.

“I want them.” I said.

“I’m sorry?”

“Flowers. I want flowers.”

“Do you want me to get them for you now?”

“No! Sorry. I said that without context. I do not want you to retrieve flowers for me right now. I mentioned flowers earlier and I was thinking how I wish to receive them one day. From someone else if I am lucky.”

“You will.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just know. You are an incredible woman. Anyone who does not fall in love with you is a fool.”

I was flustered with the compliment he just gave me. Does he really believe that I am that lovable? Can he possibly love me?Or does he see himself as the fool? Only seeing me as a friend and nothing more.

“What about flowers makes you want to receive them?”

“They are all beautiful. There are so many different kind of flowers and one type of flower can have so many different meanings based on the color. For example, red roses represent love and yellow roses represent friendship. Red carnations show deep love and affection, while pink carnations show gratitude. And so on and so on. But the thought of someone feeling the need to buy me flowers because they want to, makes me feel warm. I want something like that…I am sorry I went on a tangent.”

“No it is okay. It is nice to know that you are passionate about something. It reminds me of the incident at Lord Tremble’s event a few days ago. Would you like to talk about it?”

I debated on if I should talk about my Panic attack. I know he wanted to talk about it, but I already discussed it with my family and I was not in the mood after almost getting hit.

“No not right now. We might be having dinner with one another, so we can discuss it then if that is okay with you.”

“Of course. As long as you are comfortable. What about the book I offered you? Did you begin to read it?”

“Yes. However, not enough for me to discuss I’m afraid. What about you?”

“I started it and it is very interesting. It is entertaining, but not enough to keep my nose in the book. I finished part 1 and—“

“No! Do not tell me. I want to wait until you get about halfway through the book if that is alright with you.”

“That is alright with me.” He said with a smile and I returned it.

I looked over to the balloon, now in place and secure, when I noticed a familiar tent in the distance.

“Can you accompany me while I purchase some sweet treats?” I asked.

“It would be my pleasure.”

—————————

Alexandra was adding the finishing touches to my dress for dinner with the Bridgertons. It was a beautiful sky blue dress with a white accents throughout it. My hair was tied in intricate twists and curls with a diamond hair pin placed just right. I felt like my hair was too much, since this was only a dinner instead of a ball, but Alexandra insisted. She wanted to try the new hair style on me and she thought tonight would be perfect because only the Bridgerton’s and my family would be seeing me instead of the whole ton.

I could not wear my green flower ring, so I pulled it from my finger and placed it on my vanity next to Benedict’s handkerchief. The handkerchief stayed in that exact place, ever since I placed it there after I came home for Lord Tremble’s . I know he said to keep it, but I wanted to give it back to him, since it belonged to him. I was going to give it to him at the balloon event yesterday, but it slipped my mind. I could give it to him tonight, but a part of me wanted to wait a little while longer. It may sound silly, but having the handkerchief is like having a piece of Benedict with me when he is not here. I smiled at the thought of Benedict being at dinner tonight, and it amazed me how fast he has been integrated into my life.

“Are you ready Y/n?” Alexandra asked.

“Yes I am. Thank you for everything.” I said gratefully.

“It was my pleasure. Now meet your family downstairs.”

Alexandra began to clean around my room and I walked out of my room and downstairs to where my brothers, father and mama were waiting to leave. The dinner was originally supposed to take place at our house, but after our families realized that there was scheduling conflicts they decided to have the dinner at the Bridgerton household.

“At least I am not the last one.” I said with a smirk.

“You are still not one of the first ones dear sister. Were you getting all dolled up for a specific Bridgerton?” Alex said with a joking smile.

I blushed at his jest as I walked down the stairs. Alex found it amusing after he found out about Benedict and I’s friendship. Ever since then he has made it his personal mission to embarrass me by teasing me about Benedict. He even asked me if I fancied him! Such as ridiculous question. Any girl who falls in love with him will be lucky to stare at this ocean blue eyes all day and run their fingers through his soft chocolate brown hair. And smell his calming scent whenever he is near, but that girl is not me because I do not have feelings for Benedict.

“No I was not!”

“Mhmm hmm.”

I tried to change the topic.

“Is Adeline done yet?”

“She appears to still be getting ready.”

I groaned. “She always takes forever.” I plopped myself on the nearby sofa and Alex said,

“Are you sure you slouching will make Benedict become attracted to you, because I don’t think so.”

“Alex!” I said annoyed.

He is going to be the death of me tonight. I hope does not embarrass me in front of Benedict or even the rest of the Bridgerton family.

—————————

Viscountess Violet Bridgerton led my family and I to their drawing room and it was just how I expected it to be. It had the same layout as my family’s drawing room, but there room was decorated with blue shades instead of purple hues. It does make sense, since the Bridgerton family’s color is blue. It makes me feel glad that Alexandra dressed me in blue tonight. Maybe she picked the dress on purpose, since she knew we were having dinner at the Bridgertons. I wonder if Benedict will notice.

The younger Bridgerton siblings, Gregory and Hyacinth, were sitting at a small table arguing over something, Francesca was playing a beautiful tune on the piano forte, Eloise was reading a book called Emma, which I have read before, on the couch, and Benedict stood by the fireplace with his brother Colin.

“I find it absurd that we have not shared a dinner with one another all these years when we live right across the street from one another.” Violet Bridgerton said.

“I know. I do not know why it took so long, but I am glad we are doing it now.” My mama said. “I think we will be doing this more often due to our children’s friendship.”

Mama and Violet Bridgerton started having their own conversation, which left the rest of my family and I to fend for ourselves. Adeline followed mama, while Alex and Noah joined Benedict and Colin at the fireplace. I wanted to approach Benedict, but I did not want to overstep my boundaries when my brothers and his brother were all present.

I looked at Eloise and wondered if I should approach her. On normal circumstances I would, but now I am not so sure due to what is going on between her and Penelope at the moment.

I decided to approach Francesca. The last time we had conversed with each other was at Lady Danbury’s ball and that was awhile ago. I wonder what has happened with her recently?

That is splendid playing Francesca.” I said, “Definitely better than me”

“Oh do not over exaggerate. I am average at best.”

“Don’t be modest! You are a talented musician.”

“Thank you. I do rather enjoy it and it gives me peace. When I play I am able to take a break from all the stress and pressure. Join me.”

Francesca slid over on the piano bench to give me room to join her. I sat onto the chair and she began to play a simple familiar tune that I knew with her left hand. There were two parts to it and she was playing part 1, so I began to pay part 2 with my right hand. Together we became to play in harmony and in sync with one another.

“You mentioned stress and pressure.” I started, “what makes you so stressed if I could ask.”

Francesca continued playing with me as she thought about her answer. I could tell she had something to say and she was trying to figure out the best way to say it. I felt that way a time or two.

“Society can be stressfull. I am in my first season out like yourself and I want to make my family proud. I want to meet a noble man to marry, but I cannot seem to find a connection. It has been a struggle so far, but I am optimistic.”

“I know exactly how you feel.”

Francesca looked up at me surprised, but she continued to play with ease.

“I would have never expected someone like you to feel that way.” She said

“What do you mean someone like me?”

“You always appear confident and poised and you walk with such ease and grace. Far more grace than most ladies in the ton. It always seemed to me like you never faced the pressure of the ton. Also not to mention that you are this season’s sparkling diamond.”

“There is always more that meets the eye.”

————————

Benedict

“Benedict! How have you been!” Alex pulled me into a hug as he asked this.

“You literally saw me a week ago.”

“So what. I cannot know what my best friend is up to?”

“No.” I said sarcastically.

Alex began to laugh.

Slow music began to play and we all turned to see Y/n playing with Francesca.

“It appears our sisters have something in common.” Noah said

“It appears so.” I said.

“Sure your sister plays the piano forte as well, but do you hear her playing nonstop?” Colin dragged out the last syllable.

“No I am afraid not.” Noah said.

“Well consider yourself lucky because this is how it is here. Welcome to our humble abode.”Colin added.

Alex put his arms around Colin and I and said,

“Well I have been here before, but this is Noey’s first time visiting.”

“Eww do not call me that.” Noah said.

“Ummm…no.”

As those two began to bicker, I could not help, but glance over at Y/n as she continued to talk and play with Francesca. I wanted her to look over at me and acknowledge me. I originally wanted to walk over to her when she walked in, but her brothers came over before I could. Hopefully I can speak with her later.

“Benedict. Hello!”

“Yes.”

“We have been trying to gain your attention.” Alex said, “What are you so focused on?”

I wanted to answer honestly, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t going to say that I was staring at Y/n and especially not in front of her two brothers. Any man who would say such a thing in front of a girl’s brother is mad.

“Nothing.” I lied.

“Uh huh.”

Alex didn’t seem to buy it and his suspicions face turned into a smirk.

“Anyway, Colin was going to shows us things from his travels. Want to come with?”

“No I have already seen it.”

“Suit yourself.”

I watched as Alex, Noah, and Colin walked out of the drawing room. I diverted my attention to Hyacinth and Gregory who were arguing once again and I chuckled. Those two can never seem eye to eye and I don’t think they ever will until they reach adulthood. I glanced at Eloise who was reading her book titled Emma. She has been more invested with society recently and it has been surprising. Eloise never cared much for the ton before. My eyes eventually landed on Francesca and Y/n. Francesca was extremely quiet this season and I hope she was alright. Y/n and Francesca seemed to be getting along. It was nice to see Francesca somewhat branch out. She tended to isolate herself in the past.

I walked up to the piano forte and Francesca stopped and playing, since she noticed me first. Y/n looked up at me after her and she took my breath away. Her dress was blue. More specifically a Bridgerton blue. She has been wearing blue more lately and I believe the color suits her. I wonder if she wore blue tonight on purpose? Or maybe she just randomly picked it. Her hair was tied in an intricate bun with a diamond hair clip to complement her hair. She looked absolutely lovely.

I was almost tongue twisted, but I managed to hold myself together.

“Can you join me Y/n for a moment?”

—————————

Francesca smiled at me and started to play another beautiful tune on the piano forte. I guess that was my cue to leave with Benedict. I rose from the piano bench and walked with Benedict to the windowsill.

“Um…You mentioned the other night that the windowsill brings you comfort and peace, so I figured we could sit here.”

I smiled at the thoughtful gesture.

“Thank you.”

I took a seat and gazed out of the window. I could see my house from here. I can even see the inside of my room if I looked close enough. It is crazy how I can see the inside of my home from the window of the Bridgerton drawing room.

“I can see my room from here.” I said.

“Really?! Which window is it?”

Benedict peered over my shoulder to see where I was looking and his proximity caused me to freeze for a moment. Feeling his breath on my neck was overpowering and our mouths can almost touch if I turned to look at him. I wonder what it would be like to kiss Benedict. To feel his lips upon mine. Wait why am I thinking about kissing Benedict? I cleared my throat and pointed to the window of my room.

“The window right there, on the second floor. Two windows to the left from the front door.”

“Ahh I see. Someone is in there.”

“It is probably my maid Alexandra.”

Benedict nodded and returned to his seat beside me.

“I wanted to talk to you privately about what happened at Lord Tremble’s house.” Benedict said.

So that is what he wanted to talk about. We did not get to discuss about it after I was almost hit by the balloon, so I think now is the time.

“Before we arrived, I was on edge all day and I knew that if I was ever left alone I would become triggered, so I tried to stay as close to my family as possible. Eventually I ended up alone and as you know Lord Clayton and two other gentlemen bombarded me with questions and I felt overwhelmed.”

Benedict nodded and I continued.

“I tried to isolate myself from the situation because that has helped me in the past. I used to have frequent panic attacks, but this was the first one in a very long time. I am glad you were there to comfort me. If you weren’t there I would have been alone.”

I placed my hand on top of his to show my gratitude. Benedict stared at it for awhile. I wonder what was going on in his head. Suddenly he brought my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it.

“You are a strong woman Y/n. What you go through is not easy and I am glad you felt comfortable enough with me to share that. From now on I will be there if you need me.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

“It is the least I can do.”

I looked down at our hands and noticed that he was still holding mine. It looked like he had no intentions of letting go soon, so I found myself looking out the window again. The sun was beginning to set and the once blue sky turned into shades of pink, purple, orange, and yellow. It was a beautiful sight and it reminded me of paintings I see in museums.

“The sunset is beautiful.” I said.

Benedict turned to the window to look at the sunset.

“It is isn’t it.”

“The colors all swirl together and it looks like paint on a canvas. To me at least.”

“I have a finger painting similar to this.”

“You do?”

“Yes I painted it myself.”

“You paint?”

“I do.” He said with a smile.

I was shocked to hear this news. I did not know Benedict enjoyed painting.

“The painting is a little different from the sunset though.” Benedict said, “I used a lot more colors than the one in the sky and the painting is a little more swirly than the sunset, but they are both quite similar.”

He mumbled something else, but I could not quite hear what he said.

“I’m sorry I did not hear you correctly.” I said.

“Oh…I said that it is kind of funny…because I was a little impaired when I painted it.”

“Impaired? Impaired how.”

“Last season I was under the influence of something that Colin brought back from his travels and it caused me….to become a little loony.”

I tried to picture Benedict being high while painting or doing anything for that matter and I couldn’t help, but burst into laughter. Benedict looked at me embarrassed.

“I am sorry, but that is too funny Benedict. You shouldn’t be embarrassed. The fact that you were able to paint something when you were impaired is actually impressive.”

“I guess when you put it that way…”

“I would like to see it for myself one day. If you will let me. Or any other artworks you have accomplished.”

Benedict didn’t say anything, but he seemed to be pondering on the thought.

“I usually don’t show people my artwork…”

“Oh I’m sorry I shouldn’t have—“

“…but no one has ever asked to see my artwork, so you would be the first. Maybe after dinner I will show you.” He said with a smile.

I was surprised to find out that I would be the first one to see his artwork. I was even more surprised that I was the first one to ask. However, I felt honored that he was willing to share his artwork with me. I know artists or writers are very sensitive about their work and do not share too often unless it is finished. Their projects have a piece in them and it can be hard to share that with someone else.

“I would love to see your artwork.” I said.

“Dinner is ready children.” Violet said.

I quickly removed my hand from Benedict’s hold and we both started walking out of the drawing room with Francesca and Eloise. I hope no one saw our hand holding because I did not want his family or my family to think that we were interested with one another. Our proximity and hand holding was inappropriate and I’m glad they were not here to see any of that. Francesca was too engrossed with her piano playing and Eloise was reading, so I doubt they noticed anything.

When I reached the doorway, Alex linked our arms together and whispered in my ear,

“You and Benedict are getting kind of close.”

“We are just friends Felis. Nothing more.”

“Okay Carina. Whatever you say.”

—————————

Dinner was extremely enjoyable. Violet Bridgerton sat at the head of the table and my father and mama were to her right. To Violet’s left was Colin and Eloise and Benedict was next to Eloise, which made him sit across from me. Francesca sat to my right followed by Adeline. Alex sat beside Benedict followed by the two youngest Bridgertons. This left Noah sitting at the other end of the table across from Violet. Anthony and his wife Kathani were still on their honeymoon, so they were absent at tonight’s dinner. I do wish they were present because I would love to formally meet them.

The food was delicious and conversation was easy and free. I found myself mainly talking with Francesca and I could see a friendship blooming between us. We continued our conversation from earlier dealing with pressure and stress from the ton and she opened up about Lord Samadani and the Queen expecting her to marry him. As we talked I noticed how much in common we have, since we both feel the immense pressure from society and we both do not want to disappoint our families.

It felt nice to begin a new friendship because at the start of the new season I noticed a shift between me and my old friends. They seem distant, so it is nice to know I have friends like Pen, Benedict and Francesca in case those friendships unfortunately come to an end.

“I simply want to make my family proud.” Francesca said. “Lord Samadani seems like the easy choice for me. I have the best connection with him compared to other suitors and he is kind and gentle. However, I have a voice in the back of my head telling something else. Not in the form of words. More like a feeling. Like I am not on the right path.”

Her feelings were similar to mine. When Maxwell asked to court me, I felt a sensation of uneasiness. Penelope and I figured it was just nerves, so maybe that is what is going with Francesca.

“I’m dealing with something similar as well. When Lord Tewkesberry asked to court me I felt something wrong. A sense of uneasiness. Penelope and I agreed that I was feeling nervous. Courting is a major step that can possibly lead to marriage. Of course you feel nervous about Lord Samadani. It has nothing to do with you or Lord Samadani. The thought of being married is daunting. Remember that your family is here for you and I’m here for you if you let me.”

Francesca appeared to be reviewing my words and looked upon with a grateful expression.

“I would love for you to be there for me and I would love to be there for you. You have shown great character and I would love to be your friend if you will let me.”

“It would be my honor.”

We both shared smiled and continued on with our meal. As dinner came to an end it was time for dessert.

“I hope you all enjoy dessert. We are having lemon cakes and raspberry macarons, which Benedict told me are Y/n’s favorite desserts.” Violet said.

I looked ahead to Benedict and he was already looking upon me with a sheepish smile. He went out of his way to make sure my favorite desserts were present at tonight’s dinner and I felt warm. I hope no one noticed the blush that tainted my cheeks.

“Thank you Benedict for the gesture.” I said.

“Of course. I wanted to make sure you felt welcome.”

I noticed Alex looking at me with a knowing look and I knew he is going to have a field day with this now that he witnessed this interaction and caught us holding hands earlier. I tried to give him a discreet warning look, since there were non family members present.

The maids brought out the dessert and as I placed a lemon cake on my plate I noticed Benedict’s eyes on me. He had a smile on his face and the feelings that resulted were foreign, but welcoming.

[mournersandfunerals]

The thing is, I can forgive a lot of it. The scene where Kaz tries to help Inej with her wounds? I guess it was a nice nod to the CK scene, if slightly too soon. The "I will have you without Armour?" Fine. We all wanted to see that anyway. Rushing Wesper into a relationship rather than keeping as the slow-burn from the books? Okay. I really loved them on screen despite that. Kaz beating up the dregs? Definitely could have done without it for obvious reasons, but whatever. I can brush it off.

But the two things that are really grating on me are Kaz's face-off with Pekka Rollins and Inej leaving to hunt slavers. Because the POINT of these things happening towards the end of the second book is that there's a build up.

These characters go through so much. We learn everything about them, we see their struggles and we root for them. We spend SO much time learning about Kaz's thirst for revenge. We see moments where he starts to lose it when it comes to Pekka, and slowly start to learn why. And at the climax of Crooked Kingdom, there's so much on the line. We finally see him snap. There's a build up there of something that he's spent his entire life and two whole books working towards.

The first season of Shadow and Bone consisted of 8 episodes. So we can estimate that the crows had probably less than 4 hours of screen time. And we learned nothing about them, really. They were the mysterious trio that were hired to steal something. And then suddenly S2E1's "Brick by brick" turns into the peak of Kaz's character arc. It takes away the impact and the reasoning behind it.

And the same for Inej. Where is the journey? Where's the trauma that was inflicted by a woman who was truly evil? When we see Inej running into Tante Heleen for the first time in the duology, she freezes. She can't do anything. Are you telling me that the same girl who is so terrified of this woman can face her without a problem?

Again, there's so much of a development here as well. Inej has this realisation and this epiphany about what she wants to do. She wants to hunt down these slavers. She wants to make sure that nobody goes through the same stuff that she did. And when she sees Heleen after that, it's when she slowly starts to lose power over Inej. I mean, she steals the necklace straight from her neck, for crying out loud. Erasing Inej's trauma from S1 was a problem but they dug themselves in a deeper hole by killing off Heleen. She can't go through the journey that she's supposed to. Her entire character arc was just completely erased.

And the thing is, in the duology, Inej still goes through even more hell before she can get free from her indenture. The Ice Court Heist, Van Eck's torture, Dunyasha, etc. And yet... she's free before the start of the heist?

The heist is an important job for each crow. They all have a reason for being there, and they all have something on the line. None of them really think they're going to survive it, but they're trying anyway because, at this point, what do they really have to lose? And for Inej, this is her chance to get the money to leave the barrel. So... are you telling me that she's going to willingly come back to help on a life-threatening job for freedom that she no longer needs? What's going to happen with Kaz now that he's already had that stand-off?

Would love to know because right now I'm as lost as the rest of the book fans.

[starryalpacasstuff]

LITBC ep 3 & 4: When they're homophobic but you love them

It took me a while to finally watch the third and fourth episodes because it's been diwali season, but having finally watched them I think I can quite confidently say that this part will probably end up as my favourite of the four. I've been having a really hard time trying to figure out how to express my feelings about this episode, because frankly I'm not even sure what those feelings are myself.

I think, surprisingly enough, this section actually hit me harder in the show than it did in the book. The book definitely had more teeth to it and felt far darker than the show, and this may seem counterintuitive, but I think it was because the show continues to be more grounded in the present that the story that it felt more visceral. As a few people have already noted, in the book the reader not only follows only Young's perspective, but there's also Young's bitter hindsight that colours his retelling of the story. Even when he acknowledges how enamoured he used to be with Hyung, it's again accompanied by his resentful commentary. In contrast, with the show we experience Go Young's emotions right along with him: love, confusion, disappointment, desperation, heartbreak, and everything in between. And as @lurkingshan notes here, this makes it all the more brutal when it all comes crashing down. Something else is that, while these episodes did not afford Go Young's mother and Young-soo the same sympathy the previous episodes did for Mi Ae and Nam Gyu, it's true that the wider lens and absence of Young's bitter monologue helped me, as the audience—how do I say this—see the two characters as their own people rather than just characters in Go Young's story. It emphasizes the greyness of morality in the characters. Young-soo is no doubt a bastard, but he's also a product of the environment he was raised in, and everything about him is a cry for help; help he will not accept. And Go Young's mother is an overbearing religious zealot who, when she realized that she couldn't 'fix' her son, resolved to pretend as though her son wasn't gay for the rest of her life; a social contract I am intimately familiar with. But she's also a single mother who braved a patriarchal society to bring up her son and she loves him in ways she will never express to him. The grey morality of the characters allows the audience to see why Go Young loved them and in turn, feel their loss along with him. I feel incomprehensibly sad when I think of the way both characters ruined their relationships with Go Young because they couldn't (wouldn't?) understand. Because he loved them, even though they were homophobic, but their relationships could never be the same after he knew.

Being constantly surrounded by homophobia is suffocating and exhausting, and it's something I know well. Even when it's not being discussed, sometimes just the knowledge of the way the people around you all hate 'people like you' can be incredibly overwhelming; it weighs you down. Go Young having to work through the complexities of loving people who were homophobic, people who hated an integral part of him felt so real to me because it's real life for me. Him going back to Young-soo over and over again even when he was rapidly becoming aware of Young-soo's beliefs. The quiet way in which both mother and son skirt around his sexuality. His brief happiness when he sees the scrapbook his mother made, and the photo that she returned to him. I'm just repeating the same words over and over now but the emotions felt so visceral; it made me feel seen. Go Young seemed so tired whenever he was around his mother and I don't think I need to say anything about how Young-soo's parting words affected him. It's something that hit way too close to home for me; that dawning realization that even more of your world stands against a core part of you than you'd thought, and that you love it anyways.

[obsessionatthemoment]

I feel the need to make a small intro post, because although I prefer to be anonymous online, it would still be nice for people to be able to get to know me. (Also a post with links to the Byler fanfics I have written, and fanart I have made.)

I'm not comfortable sharing my real name, so you can just call me my username, or the abbreviated version oatm.

I'm diagnosed autistic, and also have a very severe history of mental illness. And, I am very open about my 4 years spent in the troubled teen industry (it's actually about to be my 1-year of being home anniversary as of making this, which is the longest I've been home for since 6th grade!).

I'm very imaginative. Some of my interests are writing, reading and drawing. I also love a good analysis.

The only fandom I'm currently active on is Byler, but I have a lot of other pieces of media I'm interested in, such as:

-The Perks of Being a Wallflower

-Young Royals (as long as I pretend season 3 doesn't exist)

-Red, White & Royal Blue (as long as I pretend the movie doesn't exist)

-Heartstopper (as long as I pretend the TV show doesn't exist, are you sensing a theme here?), and all of Alice Oseman's other books (especially I Was Born for This, and Radio Silence)

Some links to the Byler fanfics I have written:

Don't listen to assholes (complete)

Max doesn’t cry very often, but this is enough to make her eyes fill with tears. She can’t respond, so she just shakes her head instead. Will buries his head in his hands, and she remains there, lost in thought. How is she even supposed to handle this information? Is he a su*cide risk, or was he simply saying that being told to k*ll himself made him briefly think about it? Should she tell Joyce?

“Don’t listen to assholes.” She eventually comes up with. It’s really just a brief summary of what actually needs to be said, but she can’t be articulate when she’s been hit with this situation.

Or: Max witnesses a bullying incident with Will, and suggests they skip the rest of the school day. They go to the junkyard and talk about Mike, college, and eventually the events of the day.

Sleep in my room? (still in progress)

Over the past few weeks, the already murky line between friends and something more with Mike and Will has been further blurred. They’re stuck in a sort of limbo, and have been for some time. The thing is, Mike has been aware of his feelings. Will has been, too. They just don't do anything about it, and both have their own reasons to justify this static place in their relationship.

However, their relationship is progressing anyway, even without intention, or some label. Maybe it’s because sleeping in the same room is so intimate, or maybe it’s simply going to the place it needs to be. In any case, things are changing, and progressing, whether they like it, or not. They're closer now than ever.

Or: After Mike finds out about Will's sleeping issues, he invites Will to start sleeping in his room. This becomes routine, and over the course of their freshman year of college, their relationship progresses into something romantic.

Is this real? (complete)

Properly panicking now, chills run through his body, and his breathing becoming shaky. He doesn’t understand what's happening. One second everything was fine. He was having a good time with his friends and his boyfriend in his home. The next second, everything turned wrong. Their voices went wrong. Everything got dark and cold. Now he’s living in a nightmare.

Or: Will is having a derealization episode, and Mike, Max and El help him through it.

Fine (complete but being rewritten to better fit the narrative)

Will and Mike have been living with each other for a few months. Will is trying to be happy while struggling with some serious mental health issues. When lying to himself becomes a bit too much, Mike is there to help him through it.

My Byler fanart:

[armythings-love]

I’m gonna cry… I had an entire analysis for this typed out but my wifi is shit so it refused to post😭😭 anyways, this is based off of the @ladybugout-au permanent superhero team. I decided against doing Luka’s Cadmeancio suit because I 1. Didn’t want to draw him in orange and 2. I was already pushing it with making a purple/red Neurofoxin. Only reason I made her purple is because natural coloring obviously doesn’t mean shit to the character designers if Juleka gets to be a purple red tiger. Anyways, here’s my take on their suits!

Hecattack: I wanted to diverge from the furry/bdsm influences Chat’s suit got, so I gave him looser fit pants, a hood and combat boots. His suit was lowkey inspired by Red Hood’s design because, dammit, DC may be super dark, but they know how to design characters well (something MLB could stand to learn from ಠ_ಠ) anyways, along with the hood and paneled top+cargo pants+combat boots, I gave him cat-shaped knee pads, similar to Ivan’s turtle shell knee pads. You will also notice a trend with a lot of my hero suit designs, which is fingerless gloves. Yes, this’ll take away from the cat claw thing Chat had going on, but I’m ok with that. To go with his punk/rock band aesthetic, he got combat boots with the signature cat paw steel toes. His tail is pretty much the same along with the ears. His mask is also different, covering the bottom half of his face. This also takes away from the cat sclera thing the original Chat had, but Luka isn’t a furry so… also, the mask covering his mouth alludes to his calm nature and quiet personality, not feeling the need to play around, especially during a battle,which was where the original Chat erred most often. Luka also has very expressive eyes, so I wanted to push that, like, even if he doesn’t talk much, he’s still a good communicator. Plus, when cats are hunting, they’re quiet! Which the original Chat cannot relate to!

Ladybug: ok, so her suit is still pretty basic, since I wanted to stick with he AU’s canon description of her suit. The main bodice/legs are similar to the season 4 suit after she calls on the lucky charm, but the sleeves are slightly different. I also got rid of the “reverse” polka dots cuz they just look ugly imo. Her gloves are also fingerless, since I feel like that would 1. Lend better to doing yo-yo tricks and 2. They just look better (u_u) anyways, her hair is still the same, as well as her mask. It’s pretty basic but eh…

Neurofoxin: her design is also super simple, but I also wanted to veer away from the gaudy orange normally associated with the fox miraculous. If she can make her tiger suit purple and red, I can make her fox costume reddish purple!! She’s goth, she’s not gonna walk around in *o r a n g e*. And I stand by that. Anyways, like I said her suit is relatively simple, the panels of the suit modeled after Volpina’s actually, because despite how I hate Lila and her stupid sausage link hair, her volpina suit was pretty cute. Instead of giving her a jacket w/coattails or a belt/sash to be her tail, I decided to make it her hair, cuz even in civilian form it’s pretty long. I also decided that instead of a dark grey/black to purple, I’d make the tips the same cream as her “underbelly” panel, as I wanted to incorporate the cream in more than just that singular spot. I also pulled her bang back because even if she’s goth, she still needs to be able to see properly as a superhero. Plus, I like Juleka’s eyes, and I feel like Trixx would like her to show off more. Anyways, besides the morph suit and her hair being a bit longer than normal+a different color, she has a cropped leather jacket,same color as her suit. There’s also paneling on the side/back of her thighs/back that’s a darker red/purple color. Again, to go with her rockstar/alt aesthetic, I gave her combat boots as well, though hers are knee high, plus I forgot to draw the laces, but eh. Fun fact: I headcanon the Couffaine twins as being super tall for their age, but Juleka is taller than her twin for now+her boots are heeled.

Fukiya: for Kagami’s suit, I pulled inspo from someone else’s LBO AU fanart, although I can’t remember who’s it was. Originally, I was gonna go for a suit similar to Kagami’s fencing gear, but decided to go w the suit she has now so it’d be more reminiscent of a bee. I gave her a sleeveless, cropped kimono, the bottom of which has a honeycomb pattern and an ombré going from dark yellow to black. Her obi has two layers, the bottom layer being a bright yellow and the outside layer being black. Her sleeves are similar to Queen Bee’s, but with an added black line. Her legs are completely black with the exception of her knee pads, which are a bright yellow and octogon shaped. I wanted her to look more bee-esque than Queen Bee or Vesperia (her character design is 🤢) so I gave her the yellow torso with black limbs, than made the kimono collar thick to look like a neck ruff or smth. I honestly struggled with her design a bit but it looks ok in the end so I’m happy with it :) also, Kagami is the shortest because I said so!

Heavy Matal: oh, Ivan, you absolute teddy bear of a guy. I adore the Iván of this AU, he’s so sweet, a gentle giant, so I wanted to focus on making him look slightly softer than the rest of the heroes, despite being the turtle holder. I gave him his signature cargoes, although they’re pants instead of shorts when he’s transformed, a sleeveless hoodie, and “turtle”-neck compression-esque undershirt, the sleeves long enough to be, you guessed it, fingerless gloves! The only reason Kagami is the only one with full gloves is because I wanted to giver a more serious/conservative look. Mari’s been ladybug so long she deserves to have cute, fingerless gloves! Anyways, back to Ivan! His hoodie is two toned, like a turtle’s shell, with the front being a light green. It’s patterned to look like a turtle shell underbelly, with a nice big pocket to hold whatever. He wears elbow- and knee-pads, which are shaped like little turtle shells. He wears regular Vans-style tennies, and his mask is similar to Carapace’s, except it cover the majority of the front of his face (think Kid Flash), and is colored/patterned similarly to a box turtle, with red accents along his cheekbones and his little tuft of hair is his usual blond with an ombré to that same red. (Ignore the ear I forgot to color in plz, I don’t feel like editing anymore T-T)

Ok, so that’s it for today’s character designs! I’m working on redesigning pretty much everyone’s civilian and hero costumes. I haven’t mentioned on this blog, but on pretty much every Gabe!Salt fic I’ve read, I will tell you, whoever the hell designed most of the characters in MLB, you deserve to be fired and then arrested. I’m so sorry, but there’s no way ur gonna convince me Fashion Designer™️ Marinette Dupain-Cheng walks out of her house every day, wearing ugly ass ballet flats+”denim” jeggings in that shade of pink. No way. And don’t even get me started on Gabriel’s candy-cane, red pants and duck hair headass, because omg… that man is supposed to be a world renowned Fashion Designer™️, one of the best in Paris. IN. PARIS!! No fucking way. No way. I get, you want ur characters to be simple and easily recognizable, but that doesn’t mean they have to be ugly!! And I get it, Adrien’s supposed to have a model-off-duty look, but wth are those shoes? Plus, why does he never change for his photo shoots? He’s a MODEL! I get it, you can’t even spend money to change the transformation animation to whatever the characters are actually wearing but wtf??? If you were gonna have any kid’s show where we get to see a lot of different clothes/outfits, this would be the show!! Two of the main characters are fashion designers, one of the minor antagonists is the daughter of a fashion magazine owner and your other main character is a model. IN PARIS!! A city known for its fashion and “romance”. And ur telling me you can’t add a few more outfits to the show??? That’s called lazy writing/animation.

Ugh, sorry abt that rant, but the character designs genuinely piss me off. It’s bullshit.

I digress.

I’ll be releasing the main 4 kids’ redesigns probably on the 15th!!

[sogoodtoheritsvicious]

it’s tiiiiimeee

i haven’t watched this show in full in five years 😵‍💫but it’s october and i was gonna watch thee byeler episode aka 2x02 on halloween anyway so i thought i might as well rewatch the entire show and make it everyone’s problem

forgot about the jumpscare being right at the beginning

baby will <3

they were all BABIES and now they’re all grown and the damn final season still hasn’t premiered lmao

dustin was so adorable

“it was a seven.” “huh?” “the roll, it was a seven. the demogorgon, it got me.” the way will was incapable of lying to mike, GOD, i feel sick

fun fact: will’s adorable little “see you tomorrow!” is immediately what made him my favorite

“kiss your mom ‘night for me!” lmfao

forgot how damn good the jumpscares are

gonna need mike to see will with a gun at least once before this show is over

“damn,you look like hell, chief!” “oh, yeah? well, i looked better than your wife when i left her this morning.” HELP

“lonnie used to call him queer.” “is he?” FUCKING HELL, HOPPER 😭 i completely forgot about that scene lmfao

EL, MY BABY

benny was such a good man :( he didn’t deserve to die

that poor dog was so hated irl 😭

“you think we got a problem here?” my brother in christ, a boy is missing

“i’m the only one that cares about will!” mike loves will so much, i’m gonna cry

i completely forgot about hop’s daughter

mike sneaking out while steve’s sneaking in 😭 this show is also a comedy

winona ryder the actress that you are

chapter 2

maybe i’m going to find out in this ep i can’t remember if they ever investigate benny’s death or link it to everything else that was going on

“stop it, you’re freaking her out!” “she’s freaking ME out!” lucas was the only real one in the beginning

poor baby. el didn’t even know what privacy was before this moment.

“oh, you can speak!” she gets that a lot 😭

mike and el had so much potential as friends, FUCK the duffers for ruining them by making it romantic. now they don’t even seem like they like each other

i hope s5 focuses on more on will and lucas’ friendship

jonathan was such a good brother

brenner. always at the scene of the fucking crime.

mike naming his dino ‘rory’ because he roars 🥹

FUCK BRENNER ALL MY HOMIES HATE BRENNER

karen was such a good mom in the beginning

i hate lonnie with a passion, he’s an abusive piece of shit who should’ve been killed off

i don’t blame lucas at all for the way he was acting with el at first

“one kid goes missing, the other one runs wild? some real fine parenting right there.”

they kept pointing out so many similarities between will and el, i can’t believe they didn’t go anywhere with it

“can’t ask a corpse a question.” die. just die.

nancy: *losing her virginity*

barb: *losing her life*

chapter 3

“no one breaks in here.” yeah, they just break out

love jonathan but steve wasn’t exactly wrong about the pictures

joyce byers the mother that you are

mike wanted nothing to do with el once they found will’s “body” but we’re supposed to believe that he loved her the second he saw her in the woods.

chapter 4

i can’t believe they showed that mike has all of the drawings will has created and expected us to be normal about it

“screw his funeral!” “what?!” TEARS

jonathan loves joyce and will so much 🥺

steve was such an unbearable asshole

can we PLEASE talk about charlie being able to hold his own with winona in that scene about will’s body? we already know winona’s gonna blow it out of the water but he did just as well

completely forgot about mike doing el’s makeup this episode dkfkgjd

“where are you from, exactly?” “bad place.” 😭

that troy scene still sends

“the kid is dead. end of story.”

they put too much pressure on el. i hope when all this shit is over she’s able to just be a normal kid.

this show used to be so fucking good

i love how hop tries lying to the state trooper and when that doesn’t work he just knocks him the fuck out 😭

I FUCKING HATE LONNIE

i’m so glad they had jonathan realize that joyce was telling the truth about everything that was going on instead of just dragging it all out.

chapter 5

hate lonnie for taking advantage of joyce when she’s clearly in a vulnerable position

“wait until we tell will that jennifer hayes was crying at his funeral” lmao

all this season is showing me is how severely they’ve robbed us of joyce and will scenes in future episodes

“man, these aren’t real nilla wafers.” mr. clark must think they’re horrible friends, i’m crying. dustin is right, though, fake nilla wafers suck.

“it might even swallow us whole.” and that’s exactly what’s happening by the end of s4

“he’s wanted to go to nyu since he was six. years. old!” she should’ve killed lonnie right then & there

can’t prove it but jonathan fell in love with nancy the second she shot that can on her first try

jonathan clocked nancy’s ass BAD in the woods

forgot just how much lucas hated el this season

byeler and jancy have paralleled each other too many times for it to just mean nothing in the end.

chapter 6

the jumpscares in this show are top tier

what i love about this show is how it still has me holding my breath even though i already know what’s going to happen

“i don’t wanna be alone. do you?” “no.” i was gonna say he wouldn’t be alone cause joyce is there but i remembered he doesn’t wanna tell her til it’s all over

early jancy were so awkward, i love them <3

“i could have been killed!” “which is exactly why we need her. she’s a weapon!” but mike loves her at this point, right?

lucas loves will so much, it’s a shame we haven’t seen much more of their friendship

“you’re my best friend, too.” “okay :D” dustin looked so happy 😭

“what’s the weirdest part? me or the bear trap?” “you, definitely you.” pls

jonathan beating the shit out of steve was so satisfying

“only love makes you that crazy, sweetheart.” i’m not even gonna say anything. you all know.

we don’t give mike enough appreciation for being such a selfless person. he did everything he could to find will, he almost killed himself to protect dustin, he let el live in his basement without even knowing her, etc.

“she’s our friend and she’s crazy!” i love dustin with my whole heart

BABIES 🫶🏼

chapter 7

“if anyone asks where i am, i’ve left the country.” this season is really reminding me why mike was my favorite in the beginning

i wanna hug el so bad

“our son with a girl?” ted, to mike:

“a psychotic child broke his arm!” “a little girl, chief. a little one.” “that tone! do you hear that tone?” “honestly, i’m just trying to state a fact. it was a little girl.” this entire exchange is sending me so bad

“you couldn’t take jonathan byers.” get his ass!

it was such a great choice to have joyce be the first one to ever give el comfort because she’s such a soft, comforting person and i can’t think of anyone better

chapter 8

made it to the finale! gonna be honest, i didn’t think i’d get here in only two days but this show sucked me in the exact way it did the first time

“go to hell.” joyce is everything

waiting til this episode to give flashbacks on hop’s daughter was an excellent choice

steve just wanted to apologize to jonathan and now he’s an exasperated mother of seven. life comes at ya quick!!

choosing not to acknowledge that scene beyond this for the sake of my mental health

el is a badass but she shouldn’t have to be

brenner should’ve never made it to season 4

these kids acted their ASSES off in this show

GOD THIS JOYCE, HOPPER AND WILL SCENE

you’d think everything that went down would make nancy and karen care more about mike and pay attention to him but it doesn’t. mike deserves so much better.

will is in a hospital bed worrying about jonathan’s hand. I LOVE THIS KID.

byeler hug <3

they all really wanted to tell will about jennifer hayes crying 😭

“her name’s eleven.” “like the number?” he sounded baffled lmaooo

getting will back must’ve been so bittersweet for nancy

hop keeps throwing away lit cigarettes and all i keep thinking is that he’s gonna start a wildfire eventually

mike’s soft ‘see you, will’ 🥹

the camera!!

“your wife doesn’t have time to cook for me.” pls

the byers family 🫶🏼

my love for this show has officially been revived. rewatching this reminded me why i loved this show so much in the first place. the acting is amazing, especially from the kids, the writing was great, and the fucking jumpscares were incredible. i’m so excited to start season 2!!

[mikesgaylittlethoughts]

'when blue and yellow meet in the west' pt.2

I reached the image limit in the first post so season four will need it's own post.

First part is here!

⭑ Season 4:

Ah, yes, the lying, hiding and miscommunication season. This should be great.

El's outfit at the start has a lot of red, but still with some blue. Mike isn't around now, and she's being mostly true to herself at school, but that's the issue. People are mean as hell and don't like her for who she is.

She wants so badly to be seen as normal, to live the life of an ordinary girl, but even now she's seen as weird and unusual. At least one sweet detail i noticed is that the flannel she's wearing might have been Joyce's.

I also find it sweet how red has been incorporated into Will's outfits, too. It happened a few seasons back, and it's a nice detail considering how undeniably close he and El are.

Mike's in his Hellfire shirt. With El away, he doesn't feel the need to perform so much anymore, and feels more free to actively enjoy his interests and be himself again.

The day Mike came to California, El was, once again, wearing mainly blue.

And then there's.... Michael's outfit....

Mmhm. Yellow over purplish blue. This is the outfit for the awkward ass airport hug, and the entirety of Rink-o-Mania, until they get home.

After his s3 realizations, he went straight back to repression. Acting totally weird around Will and forcefully happy around El again.

While Mike wears yellow, Will wears blue.

Oh, also, the flowers Mike picked for El had "too much yellow", and "vomit green socks".

Mike's fight with El here is a super important scene to mention. He's wearing mostly blue with just a few yellow accents, but he's still lying to El, isn't he?

Oh, he's lying, alright. It's just not working.

El isn't running with it like usual. She's crying, confronting him about not being able to tell her he loves him and Mike's trying to convince her but even then, he can't say it. Eleven can see right through him. And the yellow... Well, I think we know why Mike can't say he loves her.

The monologue scene is the same case. About 0% of what he said in it was true, but El knows that. That's exactly why it didn't work.

This is when the pink starts showing up again, but there are still layers of blue to remove before it's free.

Mike and Will switch back to their respective colors again, and make up from their previous fights. Will wears blue and yellow, and Mike wears that blue shirt with that godforsaken sideways pocket.

These are the outfits they're forced to stay in for the rest of the season cause everything goes to shit afterwards.

Throughout the season, El sheds her blue layers, until finally, she's all pink.

She realized she doesn't need him and they're definitely going to break up next season. She's finally free and will finally get to be herself without molding her image to fit into what others think she should be like.

Now it's Mike's turn to free himself.

────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────

Okay, that was a lot! Once again, thank you @62percentmaplesyrup for all the help !!! I'll leave her posts linked down here if you guys wanna look for yourselves, it's a super interesting detail.

Here and here!

If any of you actually read through all of this, i really appreciate it. I worked on this for days on end lmao.

anyway byler endgame stay gay losersss

[myall6793]

DUDE I'M KINDA PISSED AND I NEED TO TALK ABT THIS.

SO SINCE THE FANS RUINED MADISON AND RUDY'S FRIENDSHIP IN 2020, THINGS HAVE BEEN WEIRDDDDD.

Like I know people say they're friends irl and they just don't post anymore, but until I SEE that, I just can't believe it.

Like Jiara in S1 was so natural, it was sooo fun and it felt good.

But now that they've kinda been forced together in season 3 & 4, it feels just that, FORCED.

Like there's all of this natural couple stuff that should be happening, that's just not, and I can feel the awkwardness through the screen.

I feel like it's awkward for Madison and Rudy, and therefore we're not getting those small unscripted moments like we were getting in S1-S2.

Even with John B & Sarah, we're still occasionally getting those small moments where John B puts his arm around Sarah to comfort her or when he longingly looks at her in a scene.

Through the whole break-up of the actors, they kept it professional and played their roles. It doesn't FEEL awkward.

But with Jiara, it's honestly hard to believe they're even dating BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GETTING THOSE SMALL MOMENTS.

And that's no fault to Madison or Rudy, it just is what it is and I'm simply making a statement.

Like there's so many moments that the natural couple stuff I'm talking about could've happened, and just didn't.

Such as:

1. After Kiara nearly drowned after diving looking for the amulet, and they got back on the boat, HE COULD'VE HELD HER AND COMFORTED HER AS SHE WAS COUGHING AND RECOVERING. Also, when they had the bends. I read a fic of that scene rewritten and it was SO JJ to still hold her and make sure she's okay even though he's in pain too. WHY DIDN'T WE SEE THAT????

2. When she was sleeping in the chair, he could've put his arm around her. (I think maybe he was sleeping too though... So!)

3. After the turtles got run over by Ruthie & Topper, JJ COULD'VE HUGGED HIS GIRL SEEING THAT SHE WAS UPSET. LIKE SHE WAS NEARLY CRYING AND HE JUST WALKED HEXT TO HER AS THEY WERE GOING BACK TO THE TWINKIE.

4. When JJ needed someone to read the cursive for him in the letter he got from Mr. Generette, HE COULD'VE ASKED HIS GIRLFRIEND, like in season 2 when Pope got the letter from Denmark, and Kie read the cursive. I get that it played out for the plot for Luke to read it to him, BUT STILL.

IT'S STUFF LIKE THAT THAT MAKES THEIR RELATIONSHIP UNBELIEVABLE AND AWKWARD.

THERE'S NOOOOO CHEMISTRY. THE CHEMISTRY IS DEAD, GONE, & BURIED.

And I know it's too late, what's done is done and there absolutely is no time to change anymore relationships, but I just can't help but kind of wish Jiara never happened if I knew it was gonna be like this.

I'm a Kiara defender until I die, and people bash her for John B in S1, Pope in S1-S2 and then JJ S3-S4, and because the writers made it that way, her hopping into another relationship or something would just seem more rushed than it already seems.

I kinda just want my girl to be ON HER OWN. She deserves to be happy without being with anyone.

And if I was her, I would've dropped him SEASONS AGO because he has done nothing but piss me off in S4. (totally unrelated to this rant)

Anyway, thanks for listening to (reading) my ted talk. 😁✨

[scorphargrove]

crawling out of the deep dark cave I reside in to post this. I’m sorry, and pls don’t come for me but here we go…

reasons I think that Steve Harrington is going to die in Stranger Things Season 5:

first and foremost, his character arc is complete. Steve has gone from being the douchebag preppy jock to the lovable babysitting hero. he’s overcome the stereotypes thrown onto his character in the beginning of the series, has matured, has found platonic love in Robin, has grown to be happy for her even as he longs for love with Nancy. his second to last scene in Season 4 was him smiling as Robin spoke with Vicky, happy for her even though he himself just witnessed Nancy with Jonathan.

people might say the same stands for Nancy and Jonathan but it doesn’t - their arcs aren’t complete. Nancy and Jonathan stand on uneven ground via their relationship which leads me into reason number two.

there is a love triangle between Nancy, Steve and Jonathan, held up by Nancy. multiple actors have stated that each character has an ending in this upcoming season, which leads me to believe that she’ll end up with one of them and the other will die. one of the three has to go, and I do not believe it will be Nancy as she holds up the love triangle, and there would not be the same impact if they were to kill Jonathan as if they were to kill Steve.

which is point three. it would leave the greatest emotional impact (in my opinion) for the fanbase to lose Steve. he’s an extremely beloved character, and this is the last season, and even thinking about his death scene makes me want to cry and I have no idea what they have up their sleeves. it would be a character death that would be talked about forever. a huge emotional impact is important for the show to stay on people’s minds given that there will be spinoffs - and sadly, there is no reason not to kill him, given that this particular story is coming to an end and the chances of Joe Keery doing a spinoff with his music career soaring are close to zero.

point four. interactions with other characters.

1, Eddie in the woods first confirming that Dustin worships Steve and then, “I couldn’t accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good dude. Rich parents, popular, chicks love him - not a douche? No way, man. That like, flies in the face of all the laws of the universe.” he basically summed it all up, right there in one scene, Steve’s entire arc - reminding the audience who Steve was in the beginning and who he is now.

2, Steve’s dream that he shares with Nancy - his Winnebago and his six little nuggets. I believe these kids represent Dustin, Mike, Will, Max, El and Lucas. he’ll be able to say that he’s already lived his dream, because he had them. there’s no way that number is a coincidence. (I can already feel the tears from this okay).

3. their (him and Nancy’s) conversation in the woods. he confirms it himself, “if I get a big enough thump on my head I can change, I can learn, I can crawl forward” then “I guess what I’m trying to say in a really stupid, roundabout way, is thank you.” .. “for giving my head the biggest thump of it’s life, two years ago. needed it. it’s changed my life. and now I’m crawling forward, slowly.” (anyone connect that to the first episode title? hm… but anyway) this is just another confirmation of the completion of his arc, acknowledging his change of character over the seasons.

and of course, let’s not forget Dustin’s “if you die, I die.” line from season three. of all of the characters in the show I think it’s also likely that Dustin may die, but even if he doesn’t, Steve would now do anything to save him and (I could go on, and on, and on about this, but nonetheless) that leads me to my final point.

what better ending to his hero arc is there than to die a heroic death saving the people he’s come to love so much? saving Dustin, or Robin, or Nancy, or any of the kids - he would do that. the Steve Harrington that the fans love would happily put himself in between the rest of the characters and danger and has done so many times.

as for the other main characters, I do have reasons to believe that some of them will live - for example,

just like Nancy holding up the love triangle of Jonathan/Steve/Nancy, I believe that El holds up the love triangle of El/Mike/Will and will receive a happy ending. I think that Mike or Will could die, but after everything that Will has gone through I would hope they’d give him a happy ending as well, possibly with another love interest (which has been rumored) which would do away with the love triangle and the need to knock one out. the other characters are similar - they hold up other characters. the Sinclairs, I believe, are safe. I think that Lucas and Max will be a triumphant endgame couple. after last season, if Max was going to die, she would’ve (please don’t get me started on my Max theory - our girl is going to be fighting with the whole squad from inside Vecna’s mind). Erica would not leave as big of an emotional impact and is also very young. I think that in the end the Hopper/Byers will stay standing as a family, on the foundation of Joyce and Hopper. I hope for their happy ending. as for Robin I don’t think they would’ve made such a big deal of her Vicky crush if she wasn’t going to have a happy ending there - and with a love interest for Robin, her character is no longer held up by Steve’s. as I said before, Dustin I’m not so sure about, for all I know he could die with Steve, he also does not hold up another character and would leave a large emotional impact -

but one thing is certain (to me) - Steve Harrington is going to die.

I think he will have a million dollar death scene that people talk about for ages. I hope he’ll win awards for it. I will bawl my eyes out. but alas, I believe he’s going to die. part of me hopes I’m wrong, but I thought I’d post my theory anyway.

I’m not any happier about it than you are. I just needed to vent. let me know what you think! what are your theories?

okay, love you, bye! ♡