#anyway i am repulsed by the whole world

[rhubarb4745]

started watching the brooke shields documentary on hulu n it's so good so far!!! i've been thinking so much about my younger self n i really ache for how long she spent agonizing over her body that no one should have been looking at in that way -- or really any way -- in the first place. anyway!

[lynksease]

its hard to be incredibly attached to and obsessed with a character in a series that I have a long term grudge against but also still kind of like sometimes

[idlestxrs]

Casual (Part 1 of 2) - Max Verstappen x Male!Reader

angst, toxic situationship, mentions of sex for like 3 seconds i wanted to fujoshi the fuck out

Max walked out of the garage enraged. Why did the media have to try to dig into his business like that? Into your business? Of course he denied all the rumors and questions you were both anything more than friends, because you weren’t. However,  he probably would have worded it better than his knee jerk response that flew out of his mouth that, in turn, made you feel like shit. He tried everyday to convince himself that’s all he viewed you as anyway. 

You were only supposed to be his teammate, then you both became friends that led to things going beyond a point of doing things people that only considered each other friends would do. 

The multiple times both of you were caught checking each other out by the other person that led to this entire mess. All the hugs, kisses, slow and rough sex. Things Max tried convincing himself meant nothing but to fill a void. He knew deep down though, that every single thing meant something. Especially when he held you snugly in his arms at night and you were asleep with your head against his chest. 

You on the other hand had known you’d fallen for him and you didn’t fight it at first, but now you wish you could start all over and stop yourself while you were ahead. 

Everything started feeling like just a casual, one call away when he felt lonely type of relationship. If you even wanted to call it one. It was a general understanding that Max didn’t want to come out like you had because of his reputation, but the fact he seemed to come and go as he pleased made everything feel so one sided.

Enough was enough. You were angry and hurt. You knew you deserved better no matter how much you loved him. Tears welled up in your eyes as you stormed after him. 

“Why the hell would you say it like that? Am I that repulsive to you? Because you don’t act like it when you’re desperate for someone to give you attention at night.” Your tears went away for now, being replaced by pent up anger not just from today, but for the months this had been going on. 

Max froze realizing you were shouting this where people could hear that probably shouldn’t. “Y/N. I understand you’re really upset with me, but please, let’s talk about this somewhere else. You know-” Max tried to calm you down, but you cut him off. “Yes I know. Let’s just go then.” You yelled as you stormed off to your car, glaring at him as he got into his. Not a single word was said the whole walk to his front door, but as soon as that door shut, everything picked right back up. “Why the hell did you say it? Why would your response to being asked if we were more than friends be what you said. Go ahead. Repeat it.” You crossed your arms and practically scolded him. “I’m sorry Y/N. What I said was beyond stupid, okay? I’m sorry that I said even if I was gay that I wouldn’t date you because you aren’t my type at all. I realized after I said that, it would hurt your feelings.” He sighed, mentally scolding himself in the process for being such an idiot. “Do you realize how shitty that makes me feel? I’m so tired of how you treat me so differently around different crowds of people. It makes no sense to me. To the press I’m the ass of all of your jokes. To your friends I’m just something casual so you can understand your sexuality better.” You began to get choked up on your words. You didn’t even realize how badly he’d hurt you until everything you’d been feeling was being spoken straight to his face. “When we’re alone or with your family though. I see a different side of you. You tell your parents I’m your best friend. Your mom adores me. Then, when we’re alone at night and we’ve been making out or we’ve had sex, you hold me like I’m your entire world. Whenever the sun comes up you’re gone. You completely change and act awkward around me until you’re wanting something.” Tears began falling from your eyes as the anger seeped out of your mouth with them. Max winced at your words. They stung because he knew everything you said was true. He treated you like shit. All because he was insecure inside about feeling the way he felt about you. He’d fallen harder than you could’ve even imagined and he was hating himself for it. 

“Y/N, you’re not someone I’m using to figure out my sexuality. I’m just telling my friends that because I’m not ready for them to know the true extent of what we have, just in case something slips. Neither do I want the public having any ideas. I don’t want to lose my dream or sponsors or anything like that. Is that so wrong of me?” Max became extremely defensive all due to you being able to leave him feeling so guilty for how he’d been treating you. “It’s crazy that we’re racing for the same team, with most of the same sponsors, and I’m out. I’m not saying you have to come out. That’s something you should only do when you’re ready, but dammit Max your reputation should not come at the expense of my heart being stabbed every time you get scared that your feelings are getting too deep.” You took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. “If this isn’t going to go anywhere serious, we just need to cut it out. It’s killing me. This would be one thing if we were actually together and you were trying to cover it up until you were ready, but the fact you’ve said to my face, while we’re alone, that this is all just something casual, makes me feel like everything you’re telling me right now is bullshit. ” Max felt his heart drop. He didn’t want any of this to end, but he was horrified of his public image changing at all. He was feeling ashamed of himself for being so selfish. 

  “It’s just easier to say we’re casual. I’m not sure what I feel, but nothing I’ve said is a lie.” Max snapped. He didn’t like that you were so onto how he felt. He didn’t even understand why he was so scared for you to know he had fallen for you. He just couldn’t accept the fact he’d fallen for, not just any guy, but his teammate. “Easier to be casual when you hold me the way you do? You really want me to sit here and believe that’s the truth? And even if it is, why the fuck would you lead me on like this? I can’t do this shit anymore.” You stormed out, slamming the door behind you. As soon as you heard the bang of the door, tears poured down your face as you booked it to your car. Max stood there realizing how badly he’d fucked up. Something about the door slamming and hearing you cry from outside knocked something into him that probably came a second too late. 

“Fuck!” Max punched the wall after you’d left. He tried to call you but it just went straight to voicemail. He deserved it, and he knew you deserved better than what he’d put you through. It didn’t change the fact that he was crying in on his sofa all alone, wishing he could change things. He only had himself to blame now that you were gone, and knew when he saw you in the Red Bull garage again you’d do everything to ignore him. He stared at the ceiling until he got snapped out of his thoughts by a notification on his phone. A text from you. 

“You won’t have to deal with being around me and fighting your internal feelings anymore. I just gave up my Red Bull seat to Checo. I’m done with F1. I hope you continue to be successful in your career. Respectfully, I’m blocking your number after this. I don’t want to be around you anymore. It’s killing me every time we kiss to know we’ll never be anything more than casual. I need to move on.” He read the text and attempted to respond by telling you to wait before you blocked him. To give him the chance to fix it, but it was already too late. You blocked him as soon as you sent the message, he figured. Max hoped you would change your mind by the time he woke up tomorrow and he’d still get to see you at the next race in the Red Bull garage. He hoped he'd somehow get the chance to explain to you that everything the two of you did together meant everything and more to him. He tossed and turned in bed that night, feeling sick to his stomach/ The only reason Max even went to sleep was from how exhausted he was.  

What he didn’t expect was to open Instagram when he first woke up like he usually did and be greeted by a post stating that you were leaving Red Bull Racing, and Formula 1 in general.  “Red Bull Racing, Max Verstappen, thanks for being a great team for the past two years and Formula 1 for being some of the most fun I’ve had. I’m onto other things now, and I hope all the people who love and support me will follow me to my new career path. Checo, give them hell on the track for me. Love, your shining star, Y/N.” Tears stung Max’s eyes as he read the caption that was paired with some nostalgic pictures. Images of your first race, first podium and first win all shared with Max, and some other photos, old and new that evoked Max to cry.

Through his vision blurred by his tears, Max left a comment. “Thank you for being the best teammate I’ve ever had. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me. I’ll be rooting for you in whatever you choose to do with your future.” He finished it off with a heart emoji. He turned his phone off and hoped for a notification from you that he knew he’d most likely never get.

[mercless]

@windchaser requested I fill out a relations meme for high noon yone from talon's perspective, and I am nothing if not indulgent. and then I went and found the original post...

Attractiveness: 

repulsive || hideous || ugly || not attractive || unappealing || not unattractive || meh || no preference || ok || mildly attractive || nice looking || cute || adorable || attractive || pleasant on the eyes || good looking || hot || sexy || beautiful || gorgeous || hot damn || would tap that || perfect || godlike || holy fuck there are no words

Let it be known that Talon will be the first creature to point out Yone's flaws after himself but we'll work on that but there's really nothing they can poke at with his looks, besides the undead elephant in the room. Even then though, 'lookin' good for a corpse' can easily be a backhanded compliment spun a hundred annoying ways. I'm not 100% certain on how you portray how Yone's spirit appears, but it is certainly a frightful thing to see. Demons are known to be afraid of gunslinger's, but usually not like this...

Personality:

grating || irritating || frustrating || boring || confusing at best || awkward || unreasonable || psychotic || disturbing || interesting || engaging || affectionate || aggressive || ambitious || anxious || artistic || bad tempered || bossy || charismatic || appealing || unappealing || creative || courageous || dependable || unreliable || unpredictable || predictable || devious || dim || extroverted || introverted || egotistical || gregarious || fabulous || impulsive || intelligent || sympathetic || talkative || up beat || peaceful || calming || badass || flexible

Drags claws down face. This son of a nice lady. Talon has seen many cowboys like Yone; Selfless, determined, stuck in their moral code like tar to a feather, standing up for what they believe is right! The other thing they all have in common is being gone well before their time, y'know. Not everyone gets to stick around past that deciding incident, and have a chance for their one-pure heart to begin rotting. It's the kind of thing to draw in the worst sorts from everywhere, to prod and poke at the soft parts to see what snaps, and what withers away faster. It's a relief Yone only keeps good company.

How likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending || fuck no! || never || no way || not likely || not sure || indifferent || I’m asexual || maybe || probably || it depends || fairly likely || likely || yeah sure || yes || would tap that || hell yes || fuck yes! || wishing that could happen right now || as many times as possible || we are already having sex

I can only picture them posing in the background of Yone's reaction to this question, a shit-eating grin and a raised brow. You're kidding, right?

Level of Friendship:

never in a million years || worst of enemies || enemies || rivals || indifferent || neutral || acquaintance || friendly toward each other || casual friends || friends (in denial) || good friends (huh...) || best friends || fuck buddies || bosom buddies || practically the same person (and denying it in unison) || would die for them (later on- wait what?!) || true friends || my only friend

Talon hasn't had a real friend before, not ones that are or were mortal anyway. They definitely have 'friends' that can fight and most likely best them, though. All to say, they're not exactly good at this whole new thing. Best if they both keep their distance and try to get this quest of theirs over and done with as quickly as possible to go back to tormenting and threatening to kill the other, respectively. Or fail and then it's over, too.

First impression of them:

I hate them so much || I don’t like them || I don’t trust them || they annoy me || they’re weird (fascinated) || I’m indifferent || meh || they seem alright || they’re growing on me || truce || I think I like them || I like them (derogatory) || I’m not sure if I trust them || I trust them || they’re cool (derogatory) || they’re genuine || I think we’re going to get along || I really like them (derogatory!) || I think I’m in love || oh fuck they’re hot || I love them

Steeples my fingers evilly. Oh, that Crossroads Saloon is full of entertainment, so kind of the old barkeep to set something up tailor-made for their enjoyment. A twisted soul like his is a rare sight, even for their ancient eyes. Sorry Yone, it's just their nature to cause a little trouble. Think of it as a little taste of what's to come... afterwards.

Current impression of them:

I hate them so much (affectionate...) || I don’t like them || I don’t trust them || they annoy me || they’re weird (still fascinated) || I’m indifferent || meh || they seem alright || they’re growing on me || truce || I think I like them || I like them || I’m not sure if I trust them || I trust them (shh) || they’re cool || they’re genuine || I think we’re going to get along || I really like them || I think I’m in love || oh fuck they’re hot || I love them

It's a full-time job, being a gunslinger's biggest annoyance and also a supportive shoulder for him to lean on. It seems fitting that the cursed cowboy gets a guardian angel that only fits the role on a technicality. Talon's still afraid of him and his promise before their truce. But not as much as their growing care for him.

How good of a kisser:

worst kisser ever || terrible || bad || awkward || just okay || alright || pretty good || good || makes me moan || excellent || exciting || oh god they’re good || I dream about it || fucking amazing || absolute perfection || we haven’t kissed

Even if it's walking around, mighty strange to kiss a corpse...

A little something for the little witch;

Attractiveness: 

repulsive || hideous || ugly || not attractive || unappealing || not unattractive || meh || no preference || ok || mildly attractive || nice looking || cute || adorable || attractive || pleasant on the eyes || good looking || hot || sexy || beautiful || gorgeous || hot damn || would tap that || perfect || godlike || holy fuck there are no words

Talon rarely sees young people like her, or any younger. It's like a 'oh, right!' reminder to their existence. That despite it all, life miraculously continues on. Her naivety and wide-eye reaction to new experiences are cute, plain and simple. But beyond that her looks are not at the forefront of the demon's mind, usually preoccupied with her latest question, or admiring her metalwork and wondering if they can ask their own questions about it.

Personality:

grating || irritating || frustrating || boring || confusing at best || awkward || unreasonable || psychotic || disturbing || interesting || engaging || affectionate || aggressive || ambitious || anxious || artistic || bad tempered || bossy || charismatic || appealing || unappealing || creative || courageous || dependable || unreliable || unpredictable || predictable || devious || dim || extroverted || introverted || egotistical || gregarious || fabulous || impulsive || intelligent || sympathetic || talkative || up beat || peaceful || calming || badass || flexible 

As much as the thought of being asked countless questions sounds irritating, Talon just cannot find it in their black-ichor heart for Rell to be annoying with her endless quest of learning. It makes it difficult to keep things under wraps they would otherwise keep close and hidden. They like hearing her own ideas too, finding this strange place where... they choose to carry a conversation with her about their findings and theories. And although she's young and inexperienced, Rell is still very powerful with her magic and raw talent. This all makes Talon uncomfortable, in how easy it is for them to get along...

How likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending || fuck no! || never || no way || not likely || not sure || indifferent || I’m asexual || maybe || probably || it depends || fairly likely || likely || yeah sure || yes || would tap that || hell yes || fuck yes! || wishing that could happen right now || as many times as possible || we are already having sex

Just no. there are better things in life Talon can waste their time doing than calculating how many times over they are older than the young witch. But please, ask them for more advice on romance, and heed it well; a blade from a place of love has a lot of mean- wait where are you going?

Level of Friendship:

never in a million years || worst of enemies || enemies || rivals || indifferent || neutral || acquaintance || friendly toward each other || casual friends || friends || good friends || best friends || fuck buddies || bosom buddies || practically the same person || would die for them || true friends (?) || my only friend

Head in hands none of you (the two of them) will ever understand what it's like to be a thing made of evil and then care for another creature's wellbeing. This is worse than Talon's fear that one day they'll be hunted down by the powder witch and the haunted gunslinger because unlike that, this care is a new feeling. It doesn't need to be said, but Rell is the first Talon considers a real friend. They don't care to ask if the feeling is mutual.

First impression of them:

I hate them so much || I don’t like them || I don’t trust them || they annoy me || they’re weird || I’m indifferent || meh || they seem alright || they’re growing on me || truce || I think I like them || I like them || I’m not sure if I trust them || I trust them || they’re cool || they’re genuine || I think we’re going to get along || I really like them || I think I’m in love || oh fuck they’re hot || I love them

First introductions could have been far smoother without someone interrupting, but regardless, the girl has a sensible, if cross, head on her shoulders. And Talon can respect it. Whether this was before or after Yone's influence, they cannot tell, but it is still there in subtle ways. She certainly takes their journey down a different path than the demon was expecting, but they're more concerned about how her inclusion makes the gunslinger even more difficult to maneuver around. They can totally be trusted to ride Sebastian, though. It's a long, rough road by foot...

Current impression of them:

I hate them so much || I don’t like them || I don’t trust them || they annoy me || they’re weird || I’m indifferent || meh || they seem alright || they’re growing on me || truce || I think I like them || I like them || I’m not sure if I trust them || I trust them || they’re cool || they’re genuine || I think we’re going to get along || I really like them (platonically, in a carer way...) || I think I’m in love || oh fuck they’re hot || I love them

How good of a kisser:

worst kisser ever || terrible || bad || awkward || just okay || alright || pretty good || good || makes me moan || excellent || exciting || oh god they’re good || I dream about it || fucking amazing || absolute perfection || we haven’t kissed

there's gotta be better ways to practice romantic techniques out on the range. But if you're ready to listen to more romantic advice-

rating meme

[kittycathat]

LGBTQIABCDEFJ is not real just stop. It's made up acronym that is rarely used outside of tumblr. Queer is not an identity its just an adjective. most intersex people explicitly state they do not consider themselves lgbt. Most lgbt people do not want to associate with aro and aces. And most lgbt in the real world living normal lives and not chronically online have little to no contact or knowledge of asexuals we literally dont care. Ur existence is so insignificant offline and if we ever met a self proclaimed aroace het cis man we would probably make sure we never had to associate with him again. Ur not gay just give it up and go live a normal life. Ur a single cis person. U either dont have the emotional capacity to love someone or u are sex repulsed and dont want to have a relationship with someone either way thats just normal and there are plenty of people like that we dont really care if u want to be alone all ur life just leave actual struggling gay people alone and shutup about ur stupid discourse no one cares except urselves.

That is true, the acronym is actually LGBTQIA (with variations,) not LGBTQIABCDEFJ. /sarc

but anyways hi anon! Theres a lot to unpack here

about "lgbtqia is rarely used outside of tumblr": that's the problem, bc we want it to be

about "its not an identity just an adjective": not quite sure what you're on, bc it literally is

about intersex people: this goes against what you just said, and supports that "queer" is an identity even more?? because these intersex people are choosing whether they identify as queer or not

about lgbtqia people not wanting to associate aro or ace people: bro if these are people you actually know irl, please find new friends. Find friends who actually support normal who are living their lives, just without romantic and/or sexual attraction.

about me being chronically online: anon.... i dont think you can talk after you typed out this whole thing as an attempt to make me feel bad... but ok. (also not very related but anonymous hate is a very very pathetic thing to do)

about asexuality being not well known: Also not sure what rock you live under but asexuality is pretty well known??? like the average person (at least where i live) will most likely know what it is.

about cishet aroace men: .. ok but why would i not want to associate with him? plus everyone lgbtqia is "self proclaimed" so idk bro

about not having "emotional capacity": bro what the hell do you want me to do,, i've literally never felt romantic attraction in my life

about "there are plenty of people like that": People might not want to be in romantic relationships for a number of reasons, but if it's because they don't feel romantic attraction... then they're aro-spec. Thank you for supporting the aro community by saying it's normal <333

about "we dont really care if u want to be alone all ur life": bro its the internet if you don't like what i'm talking about just SCROLL

about leaving "actual struggling gay people" alone: .. when did i do anything against gay people? Plus if you're trying to stop hate... why did you anonymously send a literal hate essay to me

about "ur not gay just live a normal life": omg you got something right!! i'm actually not gay!! (so proud of you <3) Also i do live a normal life, i am so basic you can't even imagine

about no one caring: well you see.. thats the problem. that's part of why i post about aromanticism, because i want people to be actually supportive

anyways! tysm for reading all that. please be civil in comments, and be kind to everyone guys <3

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

I have to ask

Are you open to a hot take on your content? I just came across your page today and I was surprised to see your take on radiostatic. Or maybe you can answer as Al or Vox. First off let me say I am a biological straight male and I’m aware I grew up in another land than what I’ve seen people in fandom create for themselves. I haven’t even met another straight guy yet who likes Hazbin Hotel and certainly not gonna meet any who ship Al and Vox. I secretly love them together and I think I know why but I wanted to say this.

I don’t see why Alastor is a top in this ship?

When I first saw Alastor on screen it was like my whole world stopped for a moment and I realized if he were gay and if I were gay I’d want to fuck him. I’m not saying im questioning if im gay at all I just think if I were gay I’d want to but I would never bottom and so that’s my reasoning for Top Vox and Bottom Alastor. He’s just really feminine and Vox isn’t at all.

I’d like to know your take on it since it seems to matter on this blog who tops/bottoms.

Oooh, I love character studies!

Ok, so starting off, since you explained the background you're coming from, I'll do the same - I am an asexual/biromantic cis female. Also, I wouldn't necessarily say that who tops/bottoms matters on this blog, but people keep asking, so I've had to give some kind of response.

ANYWAY. I'll start with Vox. I see him as a switch who mostly bottoms. From my understanding, not being gay or a man or that interested in sex, who bottoms doesn't necessarily have anything to do with who's more feminine. And my first impression of Vox was that he was a bottom. He just strikes me as the type who takes charge in every other area of his existence, so he wants a break from that in bed. And while I know top/bottom doesn't necessarily equal dom/sub, that's just the energy I feel he gives off. Everything from the types of men he goes after to the way he kind of seems to be a bit of a glutton for punishment just screams to me that he wants to be fucked. However, I can also see him bringing that 'taking control of the boardroom' energy into the bedroom, hence why I headcanon him as a switch.

Now Alastor. I definitely feel like he's on the side of the asexual spectrum that has basically no interest in sex (and very possibly sex-repulsed, but I choose to headcanon him differently). But we know he loves violence. So, I feel like the only way he would be at all interested in sex if it's a power play to dominate over and hurt the other person. With Vox in particular, I think that what would appeal to Alastor is his once-rival, a powerful Overlord, willingly surrendering to him completely and giving him control over what he feels - proving his devotion to him. And I feel like Alastor would get off more on the power and bloodshed than the sex itself. Also, I think he's too controlling with too many trust issues to put himself in the vulnerable position of being fucked.

None of this is to say that you can't think differently, of course! This is just my own interpretation.

[leupagus]

There’s a lot of discourse in fandom about Sansa, Arya, and Cersei’s attitudes toward power and traditional femininity. I’m super curious to see what you think about Sansa and Cersei in particular, especially since we didn’t get a Cersei POV in Gale of Wolves. What does Cersei think of Sansa establishing power in her own right in the North? Does she still crave power for herself? I always thought that Cersei sees her sexuality as a tool or weapon but otherwise is pretty disdainful of women in general. She’s got internalized misogyny in spades.

In Sansa’s case— do you think she still dwells on what she learned from Cersei (either what she was told directly or lessons made indirectly)? I’m thinking about the battle of the black water in the books where Sansa thinks : when I am queen, I will make them love me; in a pretty stark (pun unintended) contrast to Cersei’s rule by fear. I see Sansa choosing to utilize her traditional femininity by wielding soft power that in turn becomes hard power. In your fic, she goes to each of her bannermen, she learns about them, she shows that she cares and probably uses a lot of court/ lady of the house skills she learned. Stannis doesn’t understand it at all, but Sansa has a stronger position in the North than he does anyway.

These are such great questions — I can say that the lack of Cersei POV in A Gale of Wolves was very deliberate, because she gets her own POV chapter in the next section of the story and I wanted her to be a little more opaque at this point. Because you're right, Cersei's going to have a LOT of feelings about Sansa getting control of the North while she's still just the Dowager Queen (even though in this story she's decidedly not going to the Sept's dungeons or enduring the Walk of Shame Atonement). Right now she's so convinced that Sansa murdered Joffrey that everything else kind of simmers under that, but I do think there's a certain degree of envy that Sansa can claim the North for herself and be unchallenged in that, when even her own daughter Myrcella will have some difficulties in laying claim to Casterly Rock (which will get resolved in the next section, but it's still not straightforward because Westeros And Essos Hate Women). There's also a lot of confusion there, because Cersei doesn't have a home the way Sansa does; she grew up in the Westerlands and lived most of her adult life in King's Landing, but what she craves is power and safety, not necessarily a home. So Sansa's motivations themselves are baffling — why fight for the North, a useless great vast nothing? Who could possibly love that place?

The note you make about Cersei using her sexuality is interesting, because I think that's prevalent in the books (I'm not sure since I haven't read them), but really not at all present in the show; in fact I think you can argue that Cersei's whole canonical path in the show is a slow stripping away of her "female-ness," which she hates so much — all that talk about how she should've been the man, how no one could tell her and Jaime apart when they were little, how her appearance and dress grows progressively more masculine. Which I always thought was interesting if you see it as a reaction to trauma: so much of what is done to her is because she's a woman, because she doesn't have power in her own right, and so she reaches for whatever simulacrum she can get. It doesn't work in the end, of course; it never does. But it's a nice dream.

I do agree that Cersei's a misogynist, but...so is everyone in this world, really. Even Dany, even Arya, even Sansa — the world of Westeros is predicated on the inferiority of women, and women themselves have to swim in that water even if they're swimming against the current.

As for Sansa, I think there's a LOT of fascination/repulsion when it comes to Cersei. One of the biggest mistakes the show ever made was never letting Arya or Sansa see Cersei one last time; sure, it's realistic that you don't get closure with your nemesis/abuser, but narratively it would've been so much more satisfying than crushing her with big rocks. Because Sansa's right, in the show where she says she learned a lot from Cersei; in many ways, Cersei was far more her mentor than Littlefinger ever was.

But you're right on the money in re: how Sansa rules, which is not the way a king would rule or the way the wife of a lord would rule, or the way any of the women in power she's met have ruled. It's not feminine so much as Sansa-esque; she is feminine, for sure, but I think a lot of what she does (both in my fic and on the show) is less about gender and more about thoughtfulness. I always think about the comment she makes to Royce about lining the new plate armor with leather when the southern soldiers wouldn't have thought about it, or how she makes Jon the exact replica of their father's cloak just from memory. Sansa is very, VERY good at noticing details and remembering them for later, however irrelevant. Having someone like that in charge of your kingdom is pretty handy.

I think one of the interesting things I'm going to do with the fic is explore some of the lessons that Cersei learns from Sansa — because she'll have time in this fic to see Sansa's method of rule working, and perhaps get enough intel to find out why it does, at least in part. And I don't think Cersei is foolish enough to pass that kind of opportunity up.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

First saw one of your videos in 2018, I think! When Kai'Sa was released... lol. I was so looking forward to her release, but finally seeing her design completely soured me on it, and none of my friends saw a problem with the discrepancy between her character's Premise and the design's Visual Language. Naturally, I looked for like-minded people on the world wide web, and found your video! It articulated Kai'Sa's main issues better than I ever could and was cathartic to me. Been subscribed since then. 😊

Kai'sa is like 90% such a great character, and then 10% a collection of the single most wrong-headed character design decisions you could possibly make to communicate why she is such a great character.

"I am a horrifying monster, everyone naturally shuns me, I am alienated from humanity! They will always hate me for what I have become!" broods the supermodel in the skin-tight bodysuit with perfect makeup, immaculate hair and no scars, who very occasionally wears a slightly spooky helmet.

In the official announcement comic they juxtapose her sculpted, perfect ass and objectively gorgeous face with an angsty monologue about how her awful outside appearance will forever leave normal people in terror of her terrible visage. In the official announcement.

The artist who did the splash art for Hollowspun at least had the good sense to try to dial up the strange textures and fucked up geometry of the suit to make her look weirder and more insectoid, so that it is at least moderately visually plausible that someone would be repulsed and terrified by her appearance.

There's also the sensible basic visual storytelling idea of "oh hey what if instead of showing her entire and obviously normal human face we intentionally cover it up so it creates the kind of scary visual implication that she is imprisoned within her Void armor? That her humanity is a thing smouldering under an inhuman surface, repressed and hidden away by a decade of lethal peril?

And that maybe Kai'sa actually actively pushes people away and tries to frighten them because she's terrified that she can't protect them and facing the prospect of losing her entire community to the Void again is simply to painful to face?

AND WHAT IF WE PAIRED HER UP WITH THE GIRL WHOSE WHOLE ENTIRE THING IS FOUND FAMILY AND LOVE OF COMMUNITY???

WHO REACHES OUT FOR HER EVEN THOUGH SHE IS ACTIVELY TRYING TO BE HOSTILE???

What if we did that instead of juxtaposing a perfectly sculpted ass in a spandex with the words "maybe someday they will accept what I have become"? What if that?"

... anyway, I have extremely normal feelings about Kai'sa and her story and her character design. I have thought about this a normal amount. For legal reasons I am not planning to throw rocks at Riot HQ until they release more Kai'sa/Taliyah stories.

[goodluckclove]

tw for drugs and sex mentions

yo clove not writing related but do you think it's normal to have not tried recreational drugs by 15 and not particularly want to find them? I've seen people making fun of people for it, along with not having sex which is also concerning to me as a sex-repulsed aroace person (caedosexual and demialterous/aroflux). I'm really anxious about stuff like this so I'd love ur opinion if you're comfortable answering stuff like this, I trust you a lot and you seem like a smart and knowledgeable adult so if you say it's fine I'll probably stop worrying

Hey man if you want to get real let's get real. I won't get too descriptive, but I do agree some people may need the tw so I'll put this under a Read More. Generally my answer is that younger people have a warped view of what warrants maturity and adulthood and a lot of the stuff that they think represents being a Cool Grown Up is actually not meant to be that profoundly world-changing in my opinion. This is especially true for all the stuff that is designed to spike your dopamine, unless in cases where it's being used medicinally (and even then it's case-by-case on if it's really medicinal).

Let's get into it!

So first off let me say the three big things that make me kind of biased to talk about stuff like this.

I am an alloromantic, sex-repulsed asexual

I am an addict

I am a child of addicts

I'll tackle sex first just to get it out of the way, and because I think it'll be easier to answer. Teenagers are one of the most brutal species on the goddamned planet (second only to middle schoolers and that sludge in Chernobyl that kills you immediately if you look at it), and I know for a fact they'll find a way to make fun of you for anything. I didn't know I was asexual in high school. I was an out lesbian at the time - I actually came out on our school broadcast for a GSA ad that ended up playing at least twice a month all year. People were more...too into it, which is also bad.

Mean Teens might say some dumb shit. That sucks, but you'll live. There will be way more Mean Teens that have an opinion on your sex life than there will be Asshole Adults. Like way more. I am open about being an asexual marriage and the worst I get is like "what if you want kids" which - you know - you can shut that down quick.

What matters is what you think about yourself, and the cool truth is that if you go through your whole life never wanting to have sex your life will be very close to unchanged in the grand scheme of things. I'll probably never want to eat a whole olive, and Riley thinks that's crazy because they love olives. But we will both see the same amount of sunsets and cool birds, and we were both eat roughly the amount of yummy snacks and have the same amount of adventures.

I've had sex. Ladies. No, seriously though - it's fine. It's okay. I remember yearning for it for years (I was actually wanting intimacy oops), and when it finally happened I was like oh. that's it? okay. There was a point when my girlfriend at the time actually entered me and I was immediately confused because I had no idea what she was trying to do. I remember I furrowed my brow like I was trying to understand Improv Jazz.

I laughed. i did laugh. That is not great for two people having sex for the first time.

Anyways, I had a few sexual partners and just kind of assumed they were all bad at sex or I was doing something wrong for some reason. Then I met Riley and they were openly ace, and something just clicked in me. I'm still aesthetically and sensually attracted to them (I use sensually in terms that aren't sexual), but there's really no pressure there and we aren't worried about it. And it's awesome.

If someone makes you feel weird about not having sex or a romantic attraction to people then you should feel a little bad for them, because that seems like a thing that a person would only do if they had very little else going on in their lives. That's some bland-ass khaki shit.

Onto intoxicants! So before I moved to Portland I lived in San Jose, California, and shortly after weed was legalized my parents had me start smoking with them - I was 18 - and I ended up being heavily addicted for about three years. This is a divisive thing to say because I know there's some argument about whether or not weed can even be addictive. Let me just say right now, I'm not about to have that argument. I detoxed for about three weeks and I genuinely thought I was dying. Like, I said my "last words" to my mother when she came to check on me. It was rough.

I am not anti-weed. I know it can be an amazing tool for people with certain medical conditions. And if you don't have a history of addiction, it's probably fine to smoke a bowl or a joint every so often and just have that be the end of it. I mean, it's so easy to find now.

Weed is fun, though. That's kind of the reason why it developed it's own culture and persona. The same can be said with alcohol. People definitely have opinions on IPAs. But if someone is so invested in what is essentially little more than an economic industry, that they feel the need to judge you for - spending your money on other stuff? That's piss wizard shit.

Weed is fun, yes, but it is expensive. If someone says they have cheap weed it's probably shit and you need to smoke a lot, or they got it through means that aren't great. And going out to bars also gets costly quick. I still go sometimes, but I limit myself to one fun cocktail.

You can also still go to bars if you want - when you're older, I mean. They can be a good place to meet people and see shows. A lot of them have cool non-alcoholic options - I like when there's a kombucha on tap - or they even have mocktails that are still cool mixed drinks with no alcohol. But they all have Coke or whatever.

There's literally a bar by my house that I go to and I only order the French fries and a Coke. Nobody cares. Getting drunk can be fun if you're in the right situation, but I don't consider it worth the hangover. Getting high can also be fun in the right situation, but edibles taste like trash and if you smoke you're essentially a smoker and that's it's own stigma. What's the alternative - vaping?

Oh my god, vaping? Come on. I have friends that vape and you know how many of them only do it because they're addicted? All of them. Shit sucks. I don't judge them, but I can see them cringe every time they have to hit it.

Also don't let people talk to you about that Delta-8/9 shit. Yeah, it's stronger. Yeah, it's unregulated. But like - it's unregulated and we have no goddamned clue what it'll do in the long run.

Getting high is fun because you don't have to exist in the world for a while and that's great, but it ultimately doesn't solve anything. When I'd smoke a bunch of weed and sativa alone in my bedroom (Hey don't do that! Bad idea! Really bad! My parents knew I was doing this and they allowed it because they are bad people!), I'd giggle and fuck around and eat a lot of snacks, but the next morning all the shit I was trying to escape was still there. Only difference was that now I had to go out and drop another 60 bucks on an eighth to get me through the next two weeks.

A lot of people want to have sex and get drunk or high so they can think of something else other than their current situation for like fifteen minutes to six hours. if you don't want to do either of that, and you're not going absolutely insane, that seems pretty cool. I can cite all the studies that say that a lot of that kind of stuff can actually stunt your development if you get into it too early (Or at all, really), but you don't need me to do that. You know that's the case. I knew that and I still OD'd on weed twice before the age of 21.

You're good, man. It's not a culture when you do that this young, it's a coping skill. And if you found a different one that's going to be way better for you in the long run. You can still have fun and make friends, you can even still have a partner in life if you find that's something you want. Your life is might seem limited in a few ways - but it's actually far more open in many, many other ones.

I don't mind questions like these all, by the way. Thanks for trusting me!

[mikuni14]

The Sign - Ep 1

Ok, but The Sign has everything I like (at least for now):

coherent plot

good pacing and editing

good acting

great chemistry, relationship, interactions, scenes of the main couple

the actors and the plot sell me the romance

I support the main couple, I am so invested in their romance and story

both main actors and both characters are EQUALLY interesting and attractive to me, this is unfortunately very rare in my case

novelty of the story, unusual for BL series main couple, more reminiscent of Manner of Death than traditional BL

authentic, effortless sexiness of the romance, scenes, characters and actors

very good side characters

a well-shown "men's world" with everything: competition, proving one's worth and masculinity, cockiness, silly conversations, jokes about sex, making fun of each other, but also brotherly bonds and supporting each other

already in the first episode we have so much of good stuff: a romance between interesting guys, a whole lot of other relationships, a truly repulsive villain, a murder, mystery and fantasy. As if the series was specially created for me 😍

good balance between fun, humor, silly tropes like falling with a kiss or running away holding hands 😆, and serious scenes. The funny scenes don't overshadow/ruin the serious scenes, which unfortunately happens all the fucking time in other series

this is the third series recently with virginity discussed and the first in which a person who has not yet had a sexual debut is 1) not forced to do so, 2) not ridiculed, comments are limited to light teasing, 3) Tharn is simply asked about it and he has a chance to say why and is heard without judgment

I like literally everything

Chart is an extremely bad character, at first I hated him because I was programmed that way by ThanType. But no, he deserves complete contempt, and no Tharn, he is not a good cop and never will be, this man should be eliminated from the cop selection at this stage, he will get people killed.

Did the murder actually happen? Is this maybe one of the training sessions like we thought they were actually freeing the hostage at the beginning of the episode? 🤔🤡

Anyway, give me Billy, an equally lovely and cool actor to match, a compelling love story, a water dragon and I'll be fed with it for weeks. (also, the scene in the bathroom when Tharn reacts to Phaya's voice, the hug from behind is, I'm sorry, I don't want to offend fans of other series at all! but it is hotter than other high-heat series currently airing. Heh! even the way Tharn looks at Phaya's hand on his shoulder was hotter to me than the entire last episode of Playboyy, sorry, it's not a diss, Playboyy is fun! but, well, that's just how I feel 😉)

This is my fav series currently airing 💖💖💖💖💖

[armoredsuperheavy]

MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE: An Insufferably Queer Film Review

I rewatched MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (1987) for the first time since it came out last night and WOW I have some thots about this thing. We enjoyed roasting the living shit out of it but there's a few gold nuggets in there despite the brutal budget cuts that impacted the plot and what not.

Contains plenty of spoilers.

God bless Wardrobe

OK so … the film doesn't bother to set up any real motivations for the characters, and He-Man (an incredible looking Dolph Lundgren rrrowrrrr) has almost no dialogue which is such a fucking waste. But this complete lack of narrative framework means we can apply OUR OWN explanations to events.

From the very beginning Skeletor has this obsession with He-Man, which will simmer and then culminate in a final showdown. But before we get to that hot mess, we have to wade through the middle of the film.

He gets as much screen time as He-Man.

Meet the utterly repulsive dwarf scientist Gwildor played by Billy Barty, a rinse-and-repeat of his performance as an utterly repulsive magic troll in Legend (1986). This dwarf is the film's Jar Jar. His face is like a deep dish pizza after an acid attack. His real mouth is visible behind the immobile thick prosthetics and it makes for some truly disturbing close-up dialogue shots. Please, pan away from Pizza the Hutt and give us another shot of Lundgren's pecs please I am begging you, DP

We find ourselves in Gwildor's hobbit hole, and he's a magical inventor. So he has this cylindrical object, it's not clear whether it's a weapon or a teleporter but I'm calling it the Butt-Reamer 9000. Inexplicably, there are two of these things and Skeletor has the other one, and wants to collect both of them. So Skeletor has an excuse to go hunting He-Man as he's hunting his missing McGuffin, er I mean sex toy.

Features rotating ticklers, a big improvement over the Butt Reamer 8000.

The thing about the Butt-Reamer 9000 is its magical power to make even this promising setup devolve into a grind as it whisks the Eternians into the magical, enchanting world of a 1987 New Jersey parking lot. WHO WROTE THIS?

The entire middle of the movie is pretty much hot garbage and involves police detectives, arson, vandalism, high school prom, and other dumb bullshit. Aside from the distractingly naked He-Man, the good guys are an utter bore and include some Eternians, some regular Earth humans and their quotidian concerns which really brings down the fun of the movie. (No, baby Courtney Cox, I don't care about your imminent breakup with your mediocre boyfriend!)

The film owes a second mortgage to Star Wars and steals a lot of ideas from it, from bad guys in shiny black stormtrooper helmets, to heroes shooting blue lasers, baddies shooting red.

Let's turn from this depressing state of affairs and focus back on our cherished villain blorbos.

(L-R: Karg, Evil-Lyn our goddess, and Blade.)

Evil-Lyn is beautiful, evil, a cold bitch queen. Gurl you can do so much better than sticking with this loser Skeletor.

Dump! Him! He's gay anyway!

Skeletor is a shit lazy boss of Greyskull and makes Evil-Lyn run the goddamn place in general. He literally shoots the messenger at one point. Great for morale, there, Skel buddy.

Look closer. Fierce!

There's a number of budget rate henchmen on the job, including Karg, who used a whole can of aqua net this morning and is running around in a white fur capelet with a massive bouffant. He is just doing his best okay, really it's hard to look fabulous around these other bitches.

Blade definitely deserved more screen time

Also, Blade, who had a slutty costume of silvery scale maille or something, and was a bit like a sci-fi bondage Riff Raff / space Judas Priest. Best side character costume.

So, there we have it, the queer coded villain roster of the film.

This homemade collage is for sure taped inside Skeletor's locker at school

Note the gigantic brown eye.

Finally, thank Satan, we return to Castle Greyskull, though it's more like beige-and-brown-skull. But aside from the questionable use of faux marble finishes, this is a quality villain lair with hard points installed directly in the floor of the living room, convenient death pits, and an excellent throne setup that I'm pretty sure they recycled for The Fifth Element.

He-Man is captured alive and brought before Skeletor. Blade does the honors with a 15 foot glowing red bullwhip to He-Man's naked and oiled back, much to the delight of dyed-in-the-wool sadist Evil-Lyn.

Movie is getting good now. Was the side quest to Jersey really necessary?

Skeletor, though, watches this action from the throne and has a lot of interesting responses. We had to conclude that Skeletor is a big old bottom but won't admit it. As a dom he is utterly ineffective. He's trying to make He-man kneel and all this shit but He-Man is not submissive at all. Skeletor is … lol. He really just wants to smell He-Man's dick.

The depths (heh) of his bottom nature will become apparent shortly. But first, a costume change.

Skeletor's glow up --- i'm every woman.

Honey we know you're just trying to impress He-man.

Werk tho.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Hole

The gigantic sky-sphincter directly behind the throne has slid open wide… "Begin! The Goatse Ritual! Join me, He-Man, as I become LORD OF THE GAPE" But He-Man's phallic symbol shines bright in defiance. In the end, Skeletor is vanquished symbolically by his own nature and instead of his hole swallowing He-Man, a gaping hole swallows Skeletor instead.

They don't really explain what happened to Evil-Lyn after He-Man's inevitable victory in final man to man combat but she was too smart to get caught sleeping in there and must have survived. What a hot evil competent BABE. After the events of the film end, I vote that Evil-Lyn seduces Teela (the good guy solder lady) and has a hot toxic lesbian affair with her.

Evil-Lyn serves cunt in hell 4 evar

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Want some more?

Nice fanart

Another breakdown on Buzzfeed if you enjoyed mine this is even more gay headcanon

The movie is free on Tubi if you want to subject yourself to it.

ArmoredSuperHeavy, 19 Aug 2023

[irbcallmefynn]

Pinned Post for 2024!

A new year calls for a new pinned! Hi! I'm Fynn (you can also call me Fynni if you want)!

https://pronouns.cc/@irbcallmefynn <My Pronouns Page Furry, artist, autism+adhd+ocd+chronic anxiety (undiagnosed) so bear with me. I'm 20, so I reserve the right to be a freak! Despite that, this blog should be safe. I do have an 18+ sideblog but I don't wanna tag it here. I will tag things to the best of my ability when needed. If I have tagged something wrong, or forgot to tag something, Please Let Me Know. Send an ask or a message or something.

DNI lists don't really work. If I don't wanna see you here I'm just gonna block you.

I'd be careful if you're a minor. I tend to tag things as "#suggestive" fairly well, so block that if you don't wanna see that stuff and you should be fine. Especially since I have a separate 18+ blog now. If I do slip up and either forget to tag something or accidentally reblog something to or from the wrong account please let me know so I can fix it!

I'm Sex Repulsed (I do experience sexual attraction, but actual sex grosses me out), Polyamorous and Demiromantic (taken x2: @ricochete29 & @0rionslay <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 )

I'm Therian to some degree. I know I'm not a wolf or mantis or anything. Never have been. But I really wish I was anything other than a human. So Therian it is! I'm also Plushie-kin and Program-kin. Just feel like there's a lot in common between plushies and what I want to be like, and the dependence betwern programs and the machines they're on is my ideal type of relationship. I'm also Alterhuman, Please refer to me as a wolf or dog or puppy or bug or plushie it makes me happy :3 you can find my kinlist thing here

I try and stay out of politics, but sometimes I've gotta say something. So keep that in mind. If a political topic stresses me out to see constantly, I will block the tags/content. I am the master of my online experience, so if I'm seemingly ignoring a major political topic, it's probably because I don't want to stress myself out with it constantly.

I have three main OCs: Fynn (not to be confused with me. I took his name :3) is a he/him half demon wolf thing who magicked his mouth off and is basically the mascot of the blog. Nauno is a he/they avali and is extremely gay and very kleptomaniac and I love them. Euphi is a she/heart protogen that happens to be immortal for some reason. Click on their names to see their reference sheets! Click here for a link to the lore doc all about them and the world of Cosme! And click here for my truesona's ref sheet(s)!

And now, some tags. "#fynn art" is for all of my art things. Pictures mainly, little bits of music here and there maybe. "#oc lore" is for when I talk about the lore of my ocs (or worldbuilding for them). "#bedposting" is something I do every night, just kinda whatever's on my mind before bed (may be very weird so heads up). "#art rb" is just for when I reblog art, if I keysmashed a whole bunch in another tag it means I really love it :3. "#transfur" is for any furry transformation stuff cause I like that in sfw ways here. "#reblog forcing" is a tag I will use if I decide to reblog something that other people are aggressively trying to make people reblog by saying things like "You have to reblog this" or "Reblog this every time you see it" (stop doing this shit please, a lot of people have anxiety about these sorts of things).

FAQ (frequently-ish asked questions):

Do you take Commissions? No, and I currently have no plans to. I don't want to make money off of my art. I create for the sake of creating, not for fame or fortune. Unfortunately, capitalism means I need to make money or I will Fucking Die. So maybe some day I'll open icon commissions or something. I don't have any means of giving or accepting money online anyways, so that's not a possibility.

What does the IRB stand for? My real initials. My legal first, middle, and last name. It's a force of habit. If/When I get my legal name changed I will change the blog name.

Thanks for taking the time to read my pinned! Assuming you actually read it and didn't just scroll to the bottom. Regardless, I hope you have a nice day!

[electricbathsalt]

HELLO HI YOU MENTIONED CHISAKI HAVING A COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP WITH HUMANITY AND I AM HERE TO HAPPY RANT ABOUT IT

it's like 2:30am and i should have gone to bed a while ago so this is gonna be a lil incoherent probably but anyways. yes. 100% yes i love that. i have so many ideas bouncing around my head about chisaki not being human, or like getting some secondary quirk in a secondary quirk wave that *makes* him (in his eyes) less than/not quite human, and also i sometimes use it/its pronouns for him because Reasons (i am projecting my own use of it/its onto him), and I also headcanon him as a) FtMtX (third gender/maverique), b) aroallo and gay and romance-repulsed, and c) autistic + low emotional empathy, and all of those things would 100% play into having a complicated and not-entirely-positive relationship with humanity in general (and his own humanity!) ESPECIALLY given that he spent formative years in the yakuza, which is bound to be a wildly conservative organization and an environment EXTREMELY hostile to several of those core immutable traits. ykno?

anyways you mentioned him having a complex relationship to other people/humans and humanity in general like he doesn't consider himself one so that's what prompted this. also please rant back i want to hear e v e r y t h i n g

Oh my god oh my god YES!! Okay I actually just woke up (yes my sleep schedule is fucked rn) so this is most definitely not gonna be coherent either buuut bro that is SO SIMILAR TO EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKINGGG

Okay this is by far the most difficult topic for me to try to articulate/explain bc I don’t really know how to, but I will try my damndest!! Yes. I think Chisaki has a very, very complicated relationship with both his own humanity and humanity as whole, in the way that he like. Does not view himself as human, and does not think of humans as the same as him, because they are on, like, separate playing fields. It’s not that he necessarily thinks of everyone else as worthless, or that he’s above them inherently (unequal)—he believes himself to be in a sort of limbo. He is neither worthless nor worthy. He is not human, therefore he cannot adhere to the same principles and standards of humanity. He is not human, and that is why he is never treated like one.

I think he subconsciously detached himself from it. He hated how the one person he (subconsciously) thought would one day view him as human and accept him, called him a monster and outcast him, like everyone else. The one person who showed him kindness with no catch (in his mind, because… yikes). That’s when he fully accepted that he’ll never be seen as human, that he is not human, and will never be treated like something with value/emotion, like something mortal and thinking and multi-dimensional, which is why he finally decided to just take matters into his own hands, with no regard to anything else. Why follow the morals of humans if he is not one? You don’t expect a wild animal not to maul you. Because for an animal, it is necessary. There’s no malice. They hunt and kill you because they need to eat and feed and protect. Is that not him? Is he not doing all this out of necessity? To keep himself and his family alive?

(Although, he doesn’t perceive himself as an animal. Just as not human). He believes he can’t be human. He believes he can no longer allow himself to be human anyway, because being human is too large an obstacle to his goals. He has to be a monster.

And kinda on the side of how he perceives other humans—it’s like, he’s more vital than them to the plan (which is the most important thing in the world), so he is above them in the way they are pawns whereas the plan cannot happen without him and Eri. But it’s dependent on his quirk, bc without his quirk, he is no longer Overhaul, who is the one who is vital to the plan; he is just Chisaki Kai. Chisaki Kai was not vital to anything and was just some not-really-human with a debt to pay off. Chisaki Kai is not worthwhile. Chisaki Kai is below other, real humans. So it’s split—Overhaul is above everyone else (in importance, in the fact he is not human. He is a monster). Chisaki Kai is below everyone else (he is indebted and clinging to the dregs of humanity he wants to have). The common ground is that both Overhaul and Chisaki Kai are inhuman accessories to the Shie Hassaikai. The Shie Hassaikai is more important than them.

He does not yearn to be human, he yearns for the casual acceptance and belonging that comes alongside being human. Humans have never treated him like how they treat other humans. He is not human.

Uggfhhhh I can’t tell if I’m explaining this exactly how I mean it. My vocabulary is just lacking I fear 😭 I have trouble streamlining my thoughts a lot. I feel like I have more to say but no way to properly express it, I guess. Also all your headcanons are extremely real and definitely add onto this/play a part in it!! I cannot imagine that the Yakuza would be all that accepting/an at all safe environment (ah. Well. That’s not true bc I have lol. I don’t like making sad stories 💀 but in canon… definitely not. Especially with Pops’ apparent falling-out with his daughter over her marriage 😒).

I don’t know if this all is what you had in mind or not but I think it has at least some semblance to what I think some of his mindsets are. My brain is a lil fried though. Also please please please elaborate. On everything. I wanna hear all your takes

[everything-is-alot]

here is a rant, i hope some other people, especially other aroace-spec people, can relate

i am so sick of enjoying a piece of media and then going to engage in the fandom hoping to find more content that will help me stay immersed in the world and just finding endless shipping content.

for a bit of context, i am aroace. no, i am not romance or sex repulsed, i think they are great things i just happen to not desire those activities with other people. i do indulge in fanfiction involving romantic and sexual things and i enjoy the concept but as soon as i am presented with that in reality i am adverse. anyway. moving on to my point.

(yes, aroace people can enjoy romance and sex, they just don't feel attraction to an extent. it is a spectrum)

sometimes it feels like the whole plot, themes, and even the characters as individuals are all thrown away in favor of their relationships with other people that may or may not have happened in the original piece. i have watched this happen many times, and no, putting characters in a gay romantic and/or sexual relationship does not make this any "better". it seems the general audience would rather see characters in an allo or at least allo presenting relationships instead of just letting them exist as individuals or even as friends. then the arguing comes, and overall, the media is lost in the endless debate. with nothing left to enjoy.

it is genuinely heartbreaking every time. it reminds me of how romance and sex centered our society is and makes me feel even more like an outcast. like i am missing out on something that i am supposed to want. i feel that pressure every day. and even if i do end up wanting romantic/sexual relationships, its not in the same way as allo people and its defenitely not the center of my world.

yes, this post was inspired by how i have observed the wednesday fandom so far. but it doesn't just apply to this fandom.

i am not telling people to stop making shipping content, i am just asking people to evaluate why they feel the need to only focus on relationships, especially allo relationships. maybe it will unearth something.

people can be individuals! people can have stories and lives! platonic, alterous, and undefined relationships exist too guys! and they are valuable on their own!

i hope this perspective is beneficial to the community. i hope i was able to articulate this well enough so people can understand. i have much more to say on this topic but i figured this would be enough to get my point across.

thank you for your time.

[starjxsung]

“where are you!!!!” and the whole time I’m in the middle of nowhere in some small town overrun by bible verses and famous for their apple pies atoning for my sins while the old people tell me the differences between emus and cassowaries. very cool

thank u all for the lovely messages while I navigate virtual world again. I miss all of u so dearly :( life updates although nobody asked:

in late May I was sexually assaulted by a complete stranger- it took a painful amount of time to even comprehend what was happening, and I only happened to be in a moment of vulnerability because I stopped to take a picture of the moon (very on brand for me, I know.)

…. consequently, my anxiety has been crippling and I’m just having a tough time being present

this is coming out of a first assault I experienced back in January (heyyyy universe are you like…. mad at me…) so it’s really just a stacked series of unfortunate events and although I TRY not to take things so personally, my ocd does not allow me to separate cause from effect and action from consequence. I’m gonna fucking die

writing about male anatomy has been nothing short of repulsive for me right now. I’m working on it ! I’m just dealing with all things sexual through a very warped lens for the time being. it’s nothing some time (and a lot of tetris) won’t heal. I’m sure of it

anyways. give me some time to think and play some more tetris and I’ll be back as like 70% of the woman I typically am with some real content again. I’m highly considering doing my first kinktober when I’m done with this book. which is. kinky, to say the least

it’s summer here and the days are much warmer and though I feel virtually alone as I heal from all of this, I feel so much more fulfilled when I’m chatting with all of you. i’m re-learning a lot about christianity from the folks here which tickles the fancy of my religiously guilt-ridden little brain. the sunsets are largely unobstructed, which make for some pretty cool photos. and I know now that the cassowary is considered the most dangerous bird in the world. they’re not far off from humans, I think

- ⭐️

[bylertruther]

no cause the last anón is so right. I scrapped a 50k byler fic because I actually got worried people might call me weird or a freak like they do others. I was on twitter when the whole fiasco went down and it pissed me off but if you even tried to speak there were so many accounts saying you were “speaking over minors” and calling you a predator/pedophile. So many of my moots deactivated bc of the hate- they eventually started attacking people for their ages alone saying it was weird that 20 year olds theorized and talked about byler. Literally word for word “you’re a freak if you’re 20 and read byler fics. Why are you fantasizing about two little 14 year old boys making out” if they would take a step back and think that maybe people are so interested in this relationship is bc they see their younger selves in these two characters then maybe they wouldn’t say such stupid shit. Anyway sorry for ranting I just have been fuming since that whole thing happened. I just wish they would take a step back and stop and think about why they see a kiss between two boys written and immediately shout creep.

oh no, anon! i'm so sorry to hear about your fic & your experience. i hope you feel comfortable enough to post it one day, if you still want to. 🥺 and don't ever apologize for expressing yourself!

not to be a cunt, but i am a cunt, so, ahem. from the bottom of my heart... fuck them kids. 🫶 i literally do not give a single shit about any of the ""discourse"" they inflict on us all. "speaking over minors" why are you even speaking to begin with, huh? 🤨 why are you buzzing into an adult's space and picking a fight when a) literally no one fucking asked you to, and b) you're just going to cry "waaaaah but i'm a minorrr :(" as if you're somehow the victim in this situation after they dare to defend themselves against your serious and unsupported allegations? be normal or piss the fuck off and do your homework.

and why do people take them seriously? disregarding the fact that anyone of any age can be a shipper & the awful homophobia laced in such rhetoric...

this is the internet. no one owes you shit & the wild web will never, ever cater to you. you need to curate your own space and protect yourself. this is, like.. basic shit. like, bare-fucking-bones basic shit. it's not anyone else's responsibility but your own. they taught me that in school, my parents told me that, and also i have a functioning brain that can come to that conclusion, too. people need to stop pretending like what these people are asking for—which is your silence and your shame—is reasonable. it's not. content gets tagged, there are multiple extensions to blacklist any tags you don't like, some of it gets put behind a privacy wall, block buttons exist, many websites have filtering options, and so on and so forth. there are multiple measures people can take to both find things and avoid them. and a lot of the time, content is something you have to seek out yourself. so, if you don't like it, why did you click on it? why spend any time on it when you could've just backspaced? how is your ineptitude anyone else's problem?

also, people need to stop throwing the words pedophilia, pedophile, and predator around. you're being an insensitive jackass when you do that. someone writing about two fictional characters is not abusive scum of the fucking earth. you're watering those acts down and showcasing your ignorance for the world to see when you throw their names around carelessly. a child predator does awful, sinister, repulsive things to real life people who did not deserve that. someone writing a first kiss or practice kissing fic is not anywhere near that and i'm tired of people pretending like this is an okay thing to say or even think. just shut the fuck up and stop saying those words if you don't actually understand the gravity of what they mean.

another thing: a lot of these people aren't just kids. grown folk fall for the same shitty rhetoric, too. it's all just groupthink and herd mentality. no one wants to get attacked so they just repeat the same shit without thinking about it beyond "protecting" themselves (which is senseless as well because conditional acceptance is not true acceptance, but i digress). this fandom would be in a much better place if people were willing to stand their ground and defend their friends when this stuff happens. it gets worse and worse if you just turn a blind eye to it and fall in line. we're all waking up and finally seeing the consequences of that now.

of course, this doesn't really apply to when you're getting attacked by hundreds of people. that's... just shitty and hard and demoralizing. i'm not victim-blaming, because no one wants to be on the receiving end of that and i know that you can't control what others do.

my argument is that it gets to that point because the fandom as a whole just lets it slide by never holding the right people accountable for their actions. they allow the needless bullying to happen. they allow the rhetoric to get crazier and crazier. they allow people to get fucking crucified for shit that isn't even remotely inappropriate. they reblog posts they don't believe in because they don't want to be the odd one out and get accused of something by someone with more followers than them. it's just... we, as a whole, need to support each other more and put our foot down when shit like that starts happening.

it isn't normal. it isn't okay. it hasn't ever been okay.

like... i KNOW that you KNOW that it isn't weird for them to kiss, for people to want them to kiss, or for people to make them kiss in their creations. i KNOW that you KNOW that it isn't weird for anyone of any age to enjoy a love story of any kind. we know these things. some of us just pretend like we don't online for whatever fucking reason. and i don't get it! i don't get why they would do that and willingly allow this place to become worse for it. you don't get anything good out of that.

also, a lot of those people are being trolls. they get a kick out of attacking people as a group, because that's the only time they feel brave and the only way they get attention in life. they don't think before they say things, because they don't see you as a human being—you're just pixels on a greasy screen. they use catchy social justice lingo to make what they're saying sound like something you should support, but at the end of the day, they're literally just gussying up the same right-wing shit we've been subjected to for ages. it's regressive rhetoric that's clear to see once you've allowed yourself to see it.

like, i agree with you. i do. you're absolutely, undoubtedly right in what you say, but... i just can't bring myself to argue that, because it's in response to what was a senseless attack to begin with. and we shouldn't need to defend ourselves and our communities against what isn't true.

homophobia, bullying, and trolling are irrational, illogical pursuits and i can't stand the idea of treating them with any ounce of seriousness in this context. to apologize would be to accept their absurdity and validate their accusations—accusations we know in our heart of hearts to be incorrect and baseless. and i won't ever do that! i won't give them that satisfaction and i wish others wouldn't either.

they keep doing this, because they haven't met any opposition yet, because we keep acting like we have any reason at all to feel shame for wanting stories about people like us, about something as basic and universal as love and connection. they don't care about our reasons. they don't care about our defense of ourselves. it's not ever about us. this is their cry for attention, good or bad, at our expense and they need to be starved out already.

like.. this is just unsustainable. it's mind-boggling and i remember kicking and screaming about it months ago in what felt like an empty room. and look at where we are now! we're already at the point where you can't win in any kind of way no matter what you do. you can't age them up, you can't leave them as they are, you can't ship them if you're older than eighteen, you can't write AUs, you can't write canon compliance, you can't write canon divergence, you can't make them kiss, you can't make them anything more than friends but you also can't make them not-friends, etc etc. we've officially been shoved into the "fuck it, we ball" stage, because this is a pissy fandom and you are never going to please everyone so you may as well just do whatever the fuck you want.

i sound soooooooo unbearably preachy in this response lol, but like... literally... all we have is each other! we all love byler and we're all here to have fun and find like-minded people. we can't keep acting like this in-fighting lunacy is reasonable and just a difference of opinion, or like it's based in any kind of sense at all. we know that it's okay to ship byler at any age. we know that it's okay to have fun and enjoy ourselves. these people want to make us feel bad. they want to silence us. why let them and give them that satisfaction? why is what they want more important than us and our happiness? i hate the idea of anyone ever feeling any kind of shame or fear over something as innocent as this. i hate the idea of them winning by getting into any of our heads like that. i just hate it.

now, this last bit is specifically for you, anon, but it goes for everyone else, too: please, please, please, i am holding your hand in both of mine and begging you to not let anyone take away the things that you love and bring you joy or your wonderful creations that you've put so much of yourself into. i promise you that there will always be people who will see you, understand you, and cherish what you have to offer, and they are the ones that matter most (after you of course hehe). we all have to find our people and just go crazy together and block out everything else. that's the only way to get through this without getting burnt out. 💛💙