#anyway here’s the thing that’s been bringing me joy I guess
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I ended up really loving this drawing that I did of the two main POV characters of Only Slightly Dead, which has a preorder link now! (For eBooks, because you can’t preorder paperback or hardcover 🫠)
Because this is tumblr and only like two of you are looking at me please enjoy post-book happy twins who have been through a whole horror book to get to this art. I kept drawing them as sad and angry and they needed to be cut a fuckin break for once
#oc art#queer author#queer writer#writing#writers on tumblr#horror books#god you guys I started my new job and I am so profoundly fucking sad that it’s not the one I had#this seems like such a stupid complaint but I met people all day and no one was weird#I can’t remember the last time I felt so much like I didnt belong someplace#anyway here’s the thing that’s been bringing me joy I guess#no daily reality just some little guys I made who go through events and live to see the other side#the only event I’m suffering right now is capitalism#I think ghosts are probably easier to handle#haha fml
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💋 The Secrets One Keeps
summary: You're in love with jj but he's with kie, so in moments of pure desperation you often find yourself turning to the person he hates the most...rafe
warnings: some good old angsty pining, very very slight smut if you squint, fem!reader, one or two uses of y/n, plz let me know if I missed anything
a/n: SHE'S BACKKKK, so I've decided to completely reformat and re-post this fic with a few tweaks and editing considering i first wrote this like 3 years ago, and yes for those of you who have been asking, I fully intend to finallly continue this fic....more info on that later ;)
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・
JJ’s eyes change the moment Kiara steps into any room. Immediately his presence is ripped away from your immediate atmosphere, popping the little bubble you'd spent all afternoon crafting as he sprung up to greet the olive-skinned enigma that captured his affections.
“Kie!” The joy in his tone was incomparable to anything he’d directed at anybody else. Nothing could draw out such happiness from the blonde. You hated that about her.
In an attempt at self-defense, your brain shut itself off. Shielding you from processing the scene in front of you, your emotions ran cold like cement pouring down and across your neurons. It was the only way you could survive such a beating to your heart.
You figured that by distancing yourself mentally, you wouldn’t have to raise suspicion and distance yourself physically. In reality, you knew the real reasoning was your inability to stay away from JJ but the facade helped you cope.
“Hey J” she embraced him and his body relaxed around her as if she was the only source of his happiness. The only way he’d find alleviation from what he perceived as a shitty life being through her. “Sorry I’m late my parents had me running like crazy at the wreck today.”
Scattered greetings filled the air from the rest of the pogues, yet you could only focus on the way his eyes fixated on her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“Here come sit baby” he offered her the seat he had just previously been place holding. What you thought had been quality time with your best friend, presented itself to you now as momentary attention to pass the time until his actual desire arrived.
Settling herself down and offering you a wide smile, her shoulder bumped against yours gently as a sign of acknowledgment.
“Hey dude” she directed at you, but you didn’t reply. You just couldn’t bring yourself to pretend. Not today anyway. Instead, you offered her a small smile, it was minimal but it was the best you could do under the circumstances.
“Yo" A crumpled tissue paper flew at your head, jj attempting to refocus your attention on him, "didn’t you say you were gonna get some water or something?” He spoke up, the scheme evident in his tone.
“um yeah I guess” You lifted yourself up and took a few steps before jj used the opportunity to slump himself down where you had been sat and sprawled his arms across his girlfriend’s shoulders.
“snooze ya loose sucker” he joked as he turned to Kiara to start up some mindless conversation. Leaving you behind in the dust.
Your teeth gritted as you focused on making your way to the kitchen hoping the distance from the scene unfolding would lift the iron grip on your heart.
You made the fatal mistake of glancing back and you were met with the image of jj nuzzling up to kiara in a picturesque display of love. The lump building at the base of your throat indicated that it was your time to get the hell out of there before you broke down in front of everyone.
“Shit guys, y’know what I just realized I gotta go” You spoke quickly, your tone matching your pace as you rushed to the exit of the chateau.
“You’re still coming to the party later though right?” John B asked, not tearing his eyes away from the screen in front of him.
“Mhm yeah sure” you opened the door ready to depart.
“Shit I forgot about that! Me and jj are gonna be late, we got dinner at the wreck tonight.” kiara added as you stepped out, unable to control the escape of a rogue tear.
“Date night babyyyy” You heard JJ cheer before you slammed the door behind you.
“Is Y/N okay? She seemed a bit off.” Kie nudged JJ as she questioned.
JJ furrowed his eyebrows momentarily. Glancing out the window, he saw you jog away from the house, and a brief flash of worry flashed through his mind. As quick as it came, it dissipated. He shook his head figuring that if there had been something wrong, he’d have been the first to know.
“Nah she’s okay don't worry.” he offered to kie.
Boy was he mistaken.
——————————————————————
“Fuuuck me” you moaned out, sinking into him one last time. You were hot, sweaty, and heaving as you pulled him out of you.
“I thought I just did” Rafe taunted leaning back to lie down, arms crossed behind his head causing his taut abdomen to flex.
You scrambled off the bed, picking up your garments and shoving them back on your body forcefully.
“What, no pillow talk?” He tried again.
“Rafe..” you trailed off. Whenever you’d finish fucking, you’d struggle to even look at him. The self-hatred flooded your body as soon as the orgasm poured out.
“Hey you called me” he eyed you intently but you knew he didn’t actually care. To rafe cameron everything was just a game. At this point it was pretty much common knowledge. “In fact” he moved closer to you so that he could speak directly into your ear “It’s always you that calls me.”
“Don’t be a dick” you stood up and eyed your heels contemplating whether you could face the walk back in them. “You know it makes me feel like shit.” It might have sounded brutal but that’s how things were with rafe.
“Yeah, it’s like you punctuate your orgasms with self-hate.”
“I'm a pogue, rafe.” You argued back as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“So? Kooks and pogues can fuck you know.” You couldn’t comprehend why you were even having this conversation. Why now, why tonight.
“Yeah maybe, not you though.” You didn’t want to tell him the reason explicitly.
“I fuck pogues.”
“You fuck anyone.” The words came out almost instantly and without thinking, yet rafe took no offense.
“Exactly so what’s the issue?”
“The issue is, rafe.” You paused trying to find the words without actually having to say the words. “The issue is that if my friends found out they’d hate me, probably more than I already hate myself.”
He just chuckled, the look in his eyes changing as he figured you out.
“What's funny?” You challenged.
“You don’t have to bullshit me princess.” He looked up at you with a devilish glint in his eye. “You just don’t want jj knowing about your little escapades huh?” Bingo.
“He’s with Kiara.” You shrugged him off.
“Uh huh, you like him but you can’t have him.” Every word he spoke striking a nerve deep within you. “So you’re fucking me to fuck him over.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You grabbed your heels and shoved them on, wincing as you buckled them up.
“Don’t I?” He threw his joggers on lazily as he stood, the level dynamics changing significantly. The older boy towered over you. “Where are they tonight?”
“Back at John B’s, we had a little get-together.” You crossed your arms. More often than not you usually called rafe after a few drinks left you feeling lonely. “Sorry, your invite must have gotten lost in the mail.” You attempted to jab at him with sarcasm yet he clearly held the upper hand with his line of questioning.
“So all of them are there now?” He stepped towards you.
“Mhm,” You lied.
“Even jj?” Moving closer until your neck was craned upwards to meet his eyes.
Taking your silence as an answer, he reached up and ran his palms across your upper arms, prompting you to uncross them.
“He was uh- him and kie should be getting there soon” You mumbled.
“So would i be wrong in guessing, that might have prompted your call then?” You let yourself be guided by his movements leaning your neck further back as his hand trailed up to your jawbone.
“rafe…” you called out insignificantly.
He leaned in and pressed his lips against your neck, right over where he could feel your pulse, and pressed down.
You couldn’t help the gasp that left your mouth. Because as much as your heart belonged to jj, rafe was just so fucking good at raising your temperature.
“Round two?” He mumbled against your neck.
“Yeah..” you attempted yet it came out as a whisper. He grabbed you swiftly and lifted you, moving you across the room and throwing you down onto his bed, crawling on top of you in a predatory manner as he did so. As your back hit the bed, the ringing of your phone brought you back from the haze he had you under.
“Wait rafe stop stop” you pushed him off and grabbed the screeching mobile, pressing it up to your ear. “Hello?”
“Dude, where are you?” The sound of jj’s voice came through over the pumping sound of music and party chatter. “Me and Kie just got back and John B says no one’s seen you for like over an hour.”
“Oh I’m uh, I had to go do something for my mom” The lie pouring out of your mouth caused rafe to chuckle which was of course met by a slap from you signaling for him to be quiet.
“Oh well, when are you getting back? I have to tell you about this date. You’re gonna be so proud of me I actually think I’m ready to tell Kie I love her” you screwed your eyes shut as he spoke.
“Yeah I- you know what I can’t make it back my mom needs me to stay and help out but uh I’ll see you tomorrow or something.” You hung up before he could even reply, throwing your phone down uncaring of its state.
“What’s wrong? They getting hitched?” Rafe spoke up from behind you.
You turned to Rafe, the fire in your veins pushing your arms to grab him, roughly pulling him back onto you.
“Just shut up and fuck me rafe.”
And fuck you he did.
——————————————————————
The next morning you woke up to the sight of rafe’s bare back. Not much of a cuddler, you figured.
Quietly you pushed the covers off and began to dress yourself back up. As you got to your shoes you sighed and shook your head, as if there was any way in hell you were going to walk home in heels. You scooped up your shoes and your now-cracked phone shaking your head, slightly ashamed at your outburst.
Without even a second glance at the sleeping body you were leaving behind, you made your way over to the door. As you turned the knob and stepped out to leave, a husky voice spoke up.
“I’ll keep my ringer on for you babe.”
You rolled your eyes looking back at him, “Fuck you rafe.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m counting on.” He didn’t even open his eyes as he answered, instead just rustling around in the bed and turning to the other side, once again facing his back to you.
You scoffed as you exited. Your internal rant clouded your vision, body on autopilot with an excellent self-navigation of the Cameron house from the countless times you’d made this exit.
“Y/N?” The gentle voice wiped your thoughts clean as the shock stilled you dead in your tracks, slowly turning to come face to face with none other than Sarah.
“Sarah” you drawled out. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s my house?” Her head was cocked to the side, equally shocked to see you.
“No I just mean- I thought you were spending the night at John B’s.” You forced the small talk, avoiding the topic of why you were here, sneaking out at 8 in the morning.
“He had to work today, did you spend the night here?” She glanced up at the door of rafe’s bedroom.
“Umm-“ There had only been two other instances where you had been at a complete loss for words. The day jj told you he and Kiara were dating, the morning after your first sexual encounter with rafe, and now this.
“Are you sleeping with my brother?!” She whisper-shouted, eyes wide as the realization hit her. Busted.
“No?”
“Oh my god!” She grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you to her room, slamming the door as soon as you were both inside. “How long has this been going on?!” Her tone was loud and her hands wild as she interrogated you.
“Just a little under a year.” You sat on her bed and looked at your lap as you spoke. Reminiscent of a child being scolded.
“A year?! Oh my god!” She repeated. “Who knows about this?!”
With that, you looked up at her desperately. “No one. No one knows so please don’t tell them.” You didn’t have to name names for her to know who you were referring to.
“Are you two like” she paused “together?” She scrunched her nose up, disgusted at the thought of her bully of an older brother dating anyone.
“No god no. It’s just sex” you were just as uncomfortable as Sarah was, having to tell her about boning her older brother.
“Disgusting.” She turned away from you with her arms crossed, looking out the window.
“Look I’m not proud of it okay? Just-“ You sighed “Just please don’t tell anyone” pleading again.
Sarah let out a long sigh and uncrossed her arms. She walked over to you and joined you on the bed, her eyes showing concern mixed with something you couldn’t quite place your finger on.
“I thought you were into jj” she spoke softly, there it was. Pity.
“Yeah well, jj is with kie and instead of sitting around wallowing in self-pity, I decided to do something about it.” As the words left your mouth, you realized how weak the explanation was.
“So you just use rafe to bang the jj out of you.”
“It’s not like Rafe cares, if anything he’s also using me.” You tried to reason.
“I don’t doubt that. But I mean, that’s- It’s not healthy, you’ll never move on if you don’t actually process your emotio-“
“Look Sarah, I don’t need to do any of that shit okay? What I have here works, when I fu- when I’m with rafe, I don’t think about jj.” Tears began to swell in your eyes “Sleeping with rafe helps me forget about everything, even if it’s only for a little while he uh- he makes me feel good.” To an extent, there was truth behind your words, while you and rafe fucked the rest of the world went away. It was only after, that the crippling self-hatred hit you along with the return of your immense feelings for jj.
Sarah shuffled over and threw her arm around you. “That’s not good for you, it’s just momentary. It’s easy and it's a cycle, you’re never going to get better going down this path. Especially not with rafe.”
“Rafe he’s- he’s not that bad.”
“Yes he is. But i bet it gives you satisfaction fucking him knowing jj hates him. Feels like revenge right?” She’d always been so perceptive your Sarah, you hated how she could see right through you.
Tears ran down your cheek silently. “You’re not gonna tell anyone right?” You sniffled.
She gave you one of those classic salt-of-the-earth Sarah Cameron smiles, the kinda smile that would light up any room she walked into. “Takin' it to the grave babe.”
A loud beeping caused both your heads to whip towards the window. “Shit, I completely forgot I was supposed to go on the HMS with pope and jj, we were gonna chill there until John B and Kie finished work.” She rose to her feet and extended an arm towards you. “Wanna come? Or we could drop you home if you’re not up for it.”
With a sigh you took her hand and pulled yourself up, walking beside her as you mentally prepped yourself to face the blonde you desperately pined for.
“Well rise and shine campers.” jj yelled out of the window of the drivers seat.
“Y/N! Where you been dude? you totally bailed last night.” Pope was next to speak as you and Sarah filed into the Twinkie. As JJ began to drive you avoided any form of eye contact in his general direction.
“I had to go help my mom out, blackout at mine again.” You didn’t even look at pope either, instead focusing your attention on the blur of trees and houses pacing by the window as JJ sped down the winding roads.
“Isn’t that what you were wearing last night?” pope, observant as always, pointed out.
“Uh yeah, I didn’t really get any time to change cause…”
“I called her last night when I got home, I was so drunk I don’t think I was ready to stop the party.” Sarah covered for you.
“Yeah I wrapped up helping my mom out and then this one calls me talkin bout a sleepover or something so I didn’t exactly have much time to change.”
Thankfully pope had lost interest as soon as he had asked the question, otherwise, your overcompensating ass would have been caught out straight away. You always had to add to the lie until you felt like you had sold it completely.
Keeping your eyes trained on the outside meant that jj’s frown directed at you through the windscreen mirror went completely undetected. He always knew whenever there was something up with you and right there and then he knew something definitely was.
“Hey, you okay?” He didn’t need to address you explicitly for you to know he was talking to you.
“Yeah just tired.” You shrugged him off in an attempt to distance yourself from him yet again.
He knew you were lying but he didn’t understand why, you never lied to each other. Apart from John B, the pair of you were closer to each other than with anybody else in the group. You’d been best friends since kindergarten, and since then you’d sworn 3 things to each other.
1- You’d always share your snacks.
2-You’d always be best friends even if you argued.
3- You would never ever lie or keep secrets from each other.
Of course, as the both of you grew older the rules became more and more lax. The snack sharing was limited only to when you felt nice enough and sometimes you’d go for days without making up if you had argued particularly badly. Having kept two friendship-breaking secrets from him, the childhood rules seemed pretty insignificant by now.
“Mhm,” he responded, flickering his eyes between you and the road. “Are we taking you home to change first?”
“Yeah, I don’t know if I’ll join you guys afterward though.” You chewed down on your nail anxiously as the tension from being in the same space as jj paired with the guilt from having fucked rafe prior, suffocated you.
JJ made a face as he focused on the road, something was wrong with you and he’d be dammed if he wasn’t going to put his everything into finding out what that was.
#back on my shit#jj Maybank#Rafe Cameron#jj maybank x reader#rafe cameron x reader#love triangle#obx#outer banks#outer banks fic#jj maybank angst#jj maybank smut#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron angst#jj maybank x you#rafe cameron x you#tsok#the secrets one keeps
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✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 30/12✨
Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~
@pandorainabox ha chiesto: Hope this isn't a dumb question,but do you plan to/already are posting the bio parents ah anywhere where it can be viewed all in one piece? With the between posts in tumblr,it gets confusing and I still don't quite know how to navigate it so I was curious if I could binge read it anywhere all in one clean read? (I constantly want to re-read it lmao,it brings me so much joy,its so damn cute!!) Anyway apologies for the random question!! I love your work,you're doing so good and I hope you have an absolutely wonderful rest of your day/night! Thank you so much for taking your time to read and respond if you do so!! 💚💚🌙
i mean… I THINK the masterpost is the easiest way to read it for now (and once you read one chapter you press “NEXT” at the end of it.)
if I would put it, let’s say, on Webtoon (which I can’t) it kind of would be the same thing. A list if chapters, when you click on one it opens the chapter with the 10-20 panels and then you click the “next” to go to the next one.
i don’t think putting all chapters from one part would be nice since it would be a super duper long list of panels (and the page would take a lot to load with so many medias) and one Part of the comic contains multiple arcs.
i’m open to suggestions though!
@robinpika ha chiesto: I was just wondering why is wukong kaiju form unstable? What inspired you to go that route
it was an headcanon of my of why we never see it in the show, even though it is present in JTTW AND war forms are… well normal in LMK, so I figured he must have a reason why he didn’t use it, considering it could have spare them a lot of trouble giving its power.
@imafluffycupcakey ha chiesto: I can't find the option to ask anonymously oof— Enyway this is Tumblr and that's what I'm here for. Ever made a design for a Red son and MK kid? From your AU I mean (ignoring every nature law for a second). Also, where did you got that name for MK from? Is something from Jurney to the west? Mainly thanks to your AU I am going to try and read that book (has more them a 1000 pages :') )
we all subconsciously agreed that the spicynoodle lovechild is Kai from lego ninjago and MK real name is his name in the chinese dub.
@avencaeheng ha chiesto: Can you reccomend any websites to watch lmk? 🙏
You can find MOST of the episodes on youtube. BUT you need also the specials to understand the story. If I link you a site in 2 weeks it will be down. The best is that you join the Lego Monkie Kid Fanspace discord. They have links to see the show and they update them every once in a while.
@astro-lmk-enjoyer ha chiesto: Another silly headcanon <3 Since MK unlocked he’s monkey form he started teething like a baby monkey but… adult. I don’t know how baby monkey teethe but when dogs teethe they get a lot more bite-y and the bites hurt a lot more than before teething. I can imagineMK getting a lot more bitey with things, like chewing food longer then needed be and maybe when he’s play fighting with the baby monkeys he bites one and it chirps and Wukong is like: ! One of my children is in need! And he discovers MK is teething and does something idk yet. After having given my evidence… Do you think this would happen? Does MK have fangs in his human form like how some people draw him?
hi! I guess he did have a period in which he had a little teething.
no, his human form doesn’t have fangs, because his human form is just a kind of glamour/shapeshift. In the AU the monkey form became his normal form (since it always has been his original form to begin with)
toomanylegos ha chiesto: Hey, I just want to say I absolutely adore your ShadowPeach comic and the beautiful art with it. I went through nasal surgery on the 19th, and seeing an update from you really helped soothe my nerves about it, so thank you! I can't wait to see more updates throughout my recovery :D burry-penguin ha chiesto: As a spicynoodle shipper I love your work sm and what ur doing for this community KEEPING US FEED FOR DAYSSS!! 🔥🍜 🔥🍜 You’re so amazing and keep doing what you’re doing because you’re a damn good story teller and artist. You’ll go so far someday! You’ve helped put a smile on my face on my best and worst days just from seeing each new update and going absolutely fuckin feral over it and I thank you for that 🫶 imafluffycupcakey ha chiesto: Not really a ask. I would just like to say I inhaled your AU comic like a vacum cleaner in less them a day, also big fan of the art style. Anonimo ha chiesto: I'm recovering from a toxic relationship and the shadowpeach bio parents au is helping me think through everything ,, The love these monkies show me how relationships are supposed to make you feel good... thank u
turtlewearingclothes ha chiesto: Howdy! I just wanted to say thank you for making your amazing comic, and being the reason I got into Lego Monkie Kid. I've heard of the show, but I never watched it. Then I came across your comic like, 2-3 weeks ago? And after binging it, I decided to watch the show, and now I'm obsessed lol. Thank you!
AWWWW THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE!!!♥️♥️♥️
@selfdestructivecat ha chiesto: Hey so I recently binged your LMK comic because I absolutely fell in love with your ISAT x COTL comic and knew anything you made would be amazing. I’ve never seen LMK though so I’m sure I lost some of the context (it was still so good though, I’m really rooting for everything to work out for the characters!) But I decided to give the actual series a try because of the comic! And here was where I planned on writing you a message after a few episodes to thank you for getting me into a new series, but… I’m on episode one. I only watched the intro. Dude. IM ABSOLUTELY HOOKED. THE ANIMATION! THE STYLE! THE CHARACTERS! I’m so so excited to watch more (which I’m gonna do now!) but thank you so much for bringing this series to my attention!!!
ahaha welcome to the club!, now you can enjoy both comics!
@therivergirl ha chiesto: I remember back in the beggining of eclipse arc you mentioned that Mac feels insecure about his body being part of the reason he's hesitant to take of his clothes even in front of Wukong and it being part of the reason (aside from basic decency) that Wukong looked away. And now in this part Mac appears butt-naked to help Wukong out, adding yet another layer of vulnerability...gah! (Maybe I should finally watch LMK because I feel I would be doubly obsessed with this comic then...)
For Mac being exposed was the last of his issues considering that what he was seeing was Wukong at his lowest and most naked. Now excuse me while I cry.
@astro-lmk-enjoyer ha chiesto: You probably know Chang’E’s story from LMK, but did you know there is a second version of her story that I like better? In the second version Chang’E and her husband(I forgot his name), are getting used to living as mortals after being kicked out of heaven. But someone hears of the immortal elixir they have and try to steel it while Chang’E’s husband is out hunting. After getting beat up a bit she decides to drink the elixir so the robber couldn’t get it. But she instead went to the moon so she could be closer to her lover. Her husband dies because he’s still mortal, and Chang’E is left be herself. I have silly little headcanon the day MK and the others went to the moon was her and her husband’s anniversary 🙃 Bye <3
AH. OK.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Do you think that wukong and macaque act like cats?
as in they would purr? I moslty think Wukong wants to cuddle and stroke his head on Mac neck like a cat, while Mac is that one cat that sometime is annoyed when people touch him but eventually let them do it.
Anonimo ha chiesto: ✨Hear me out :3✨ MK can hear the past. He heard the fight of of prentice and held his eye like he was getting hurt by Wukong and not Macaque. So now picture this: MK has a vision again, his this time it is about how the monk used the circlet on him :3
AHAH. NOW HE CAN’T SEE TANG THE SAME WAY AGAIN. FUCK.
Anonimo ha chiesto: When I first found your comic in your TikTok account, I thought it was something very silly... How very VERY wrong I was.(As I get shot 57 times.) I hope you are taking very good care of yourself because when I downloaded Tumblr to keep myself updated to your comics(which was somewhere around 13-16 December probably) there are a LOT of panels. I enjoyed the newest and most recent parts of the shadowpeach bio parent au and can't wait for the next!!! Don't work yourself to the bone too much! Remember to take mental and physical breaks.
AGHDMHSMFYS THANK YOU!!!
Anonimo ha chiesto: Are there others who flirt with MK ? He looks good, is very powerful and has a sunshine personality. I bet there are others who are interested in him
I guess there haven’t been any for NOW.
Anonimo ha chiesto: After reading the post about swk's circlet, I srsly want him to look at mk and say "oh, hey we're matching!" ... "OH SHIT WHY ARE WE'RE MATCHING?!"
NOOOOOO!!
@delightfulcupquakequeen ha chiesto: Hey there!!! Been awhile sincenI've written an ask, just wanted to send love and being greatful that you are doig this amazing AU!!!! Appreciating ever pannel you make and gosh dammit hitting me right in the korokoro!!!! Keep being your fabulous self!!! Until next time!
THANK YOUUUUU
@l1br4rycrypt1d ha chiesto: Feel free to ignore this if it's spoilers for the comic, but are we gonna get to see the Gold Star of Venus? Just curious, since you reblogged the meme post that mentioned him during the takeover
There will be a small space for them as well, yes.
@kaothedemon ha chiesto: Fun fact, while I doubt Pigsy has all of Zhu Bajie's powers, his ancestor did have a kaiju form, which he could use if he ate a fuckton I'm sure it's not gonna appear in the story, but the idea of Heaven having to deal with 3 Kaiju dads (+ theoretically a sworn uncle) is extremely funny to me (picture courtesy of OSP's latest JTTW episode cause even when I read the book there weren't any illustrations of this)
I SAW THAT!! Man now they must add it to the show. Yeah I don't think he has ALL of Zhu Bajie's powers (I don't think he would ever want to have them) but it would be interesting if it was a high stake situation
@roseltelle ha chiesto: I think Macaque would actually enjoy working/ volunteering at the playhouse specifically doing shadow plays. But he does regular plays as well. His favorite days are when classes of children come in for field trips. Wukong often paints the backdrops, scenery, and other items for plays. They both enjoy their hobbies.
Awwwww yeah I think Macaque would totally love that.
@lmk4ever ha chiesto: Can you imagine Wukong just being out of it after he distracted the celestials for too long in his war form?
I think that as soon as he sees Macaque again he immediately switch back and become behaved again.
@peach-fury ha chiesto: I think I know the answer but theoretically... Who's war form/kajiu is stronger Wukongs or Macaque's and how would it go? I don't know it started as a thought. Now I can't stop laughing.
Wukong's is stronger.
blbllblblblll ha chiesto: do you know the pronunciation of xiaotian? ive been stuck on how to say his name for so long 😭
I know that the "Qi" is pronunced "Chi" and I think "xiao" is pronunced the same as you would read it, while I THINK the "t" in "tian" is more of a mix between a t and a c/k? I aint chinese and the way I pronounce things or read them is probably different from u cause I'm italian.
eerieqloss ha chiesto: Okay question, is Wukong's war form bigger/taller than MK's?
it's taller.
@elliboom ha chiesto: I was wondering, will Erlang Shen ever appear in the Shadowpeach parent series? (And questa domanda la scrivo in italiano giusto per levarmi un’altra curiosità in futuro, preferisci che le domande vengono scritte solo in inglese o vanno bene anche in italiano? So che non ci sono molti italiani ad essere fan di LMK e JTTW, posso capire la scelta di scriverli solo in inglese per rispetto e far capire ai altri fan, e generalmente per scrivere le domande uso google translate, perché faccio pena con la grammatica inglese, mi scuso se in futuro farò domande con qualche errore 🥲🥲)
Si apparirà. Manda pure in italiano shalla ahah.
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Enemies 2 Friends to Something More
Summary: When a girl in his class corrects him, Ford decides that he will go through any lengths to one her up like she seems to do so often to him. Tw: Slight NSFW [Would anyone even read NSFW work of him?]
Linktree 4 the People of Palestine
Ford had never been corrected before, because he's never been wrong. So, when he was sitting in class one day and had gone to answer a question, only for a h/c haired girl to correct him. Ford wasn't necessarily mad, more so confused, because he thought he was right. Though, when he went back and checked his numbers, he realized the girl was right. That was fine. Sometimes people were wrong and he's at college to learn, so maybe it's good that there's someone with the same level as intelligence as him.
But then... It happened again. It was a little more embarrassing for it to happen again, but he tried not to think to much about it. That was UNTIL it happened for a third time. That time he was annoyed.
He looked back at you as you smirked down at him. You took joy in his embarrassment, that's what he believed, and it bugged him to his very core. He had to get you back. He wasn't sure how, but he would.
---
Ford stayed up late last night, having finally crafted the perfect question that he knew would stump you. Instead of bringing it up in class, he wanted to talk to you personally, because the question was made for you, no one else.
So, after class, Ford made sure to call you back, having learned your name from his roommate, Fiddleford.
"Y/n!"
You looked back at the sound of your name to; Only to be surprised when seeing it was Stanford Pines.
"Stanford?"
"Call me Ford."
You sigh, looking him up and down. "Okay, F-o-r-d," You stretch out the letters of his name. "What is it you want?"
"Can I not talk to a fellow classmate?"
"Oh, Ford, don't be silly. I know you want something. I see how angry you get when you get something wrong. You clearly want something from me."
He holds his ands up in surrender. "You caught me. I actually... wanted to discuss a-" He tsks. "theory- Question if you will. If you're willing to occupy my company."
"I do like intelligent conversation and you're the most intelligent guy here, so I guess I can give you some time."
He smirks, happy that the trap had been set.
---
He pulls out multiple papers, putting them on the table, before looking up at you. You looked at him confused why he would have so many papers.
He goes on and on about the theory of life and what the purpose of all living things are. While you were confused on the topic, since he wasn't asking for your opinion, you were amazed by his passion on the topic. It seemed he wanted to prove something to you- Prove that he was a genius.
It wasn't like you didn't know that. Everyone that knew Ford or interacted with him knew he was genius, so you were confused why he felt the need to prove it to you.
You thought he was kind of cute. Going on and on. You kind of wanted to fuck him. Your face turned a light pink when the thought entered your mind.
"What do you think?"
"What?" You were caught off guard, since your mind was occupied.
"About life."
"I- uh, never really think about that stuff?"
"You have no opinions about it?"
"Uh, I mean, you've said every thought that I have." You lean in, a stupid smile overtaking your face.
"Yeah?" Ford's face turned a light pink when having your face close to his. He could almost kiss you... Almost... He wanted to- I mean, he admired how intelligent you were, and he felt you were one of the only people he could have a real conversation with without dumbing himself down. He would have kissed you if a book wasn't slammed down at the end of the table, causing Ford to glare at the person, Fiddleford.
"Sorry, am I interrupting something?"
You sit back in your seat and smile, "No. Uh, no. I was going to go anyway. I'm sure my roommate is waiting for me." You turn to Ford, "I'll see you... later?"
"Yeah. I'll see you."
---
Ford stared at his ceiling, his alarm clock the only light in the room. He couldn't keep his mind off of you. He wished he had kissed you or something. It would have been the perfect moment. So, why didn't he?
He could feel his body heat up as his thoughts got more intense. He pulled one of his pillows out from under him, before slamming it against his face, hoping to rid himself of the thoughts. God, how was he supposed to see you again knowing what he felt?
#ford pines x reader#ford pines#gravity falls#gravity falls x reader#disney x reader#ford x reader#enemies to lovers#female reader
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Heart | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader (Eventual ? ;) )
Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, SMUT 18+ MDNI, elements of dom/sub, oral (m and f receiving), orgasm denial (m receiving), p in v, unprotected sex (don’t be stupid. wrap it up.), face riding (f receiving), begging, cockwarming
Word Count: 6046
A/N: Giving the people what they want. AGAIN. MINORS! GO AWAY!!! SHOO! TAKE A JUICE BOX AND A STICKER ON THE WAY OUT!!
Mobile Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist
Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist
Supernatural Series Rewrite Playlist
“Here he is, Detective,” the young mortician said to Sam as she pulled the body of a man out of a cold locker. The man had stitches running along his chest, stomach, shoulders, and throat; some reminiscent of deep bite marks.
“That’s a pretty nasty bite,” Sam commented. “You know what bit him?”
The young woman averted her eyes. “I haven’t quite determined that just yet.”
“C’mon, Doc,” you pleaded. “Off the record.” You left Dean back in the motel room once he promised you he’d stay put.
“Okay,” the mortician began, “way, way off the record—”
“Sure,” Sam nodded.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say the guy was attacked by a wolf. But unless I know that the zoo is missing one of their lobos, I’m going with pit bull.” She eyed Sam cautiously. “I like my job.”
“Yeah, I hear you,” Sam chuckled.
“One more thing. This guy, was his heart missing?” you asked.
She seemed surprised. “Yeah, how did you know that? I haven’t even finished my report.”
“Lucky guess,” you shrugged.
You and Sam left the morgue and began the drive back to Dean.
“How’ve your nightmares been?” you asked Sam while he drove out of the morgue’s parking lot.
He turned to you quizzically.
“What? I hear you up at three in the morning,” you smirked.
“I get up early anyway. How do you know I still have ‘em?”
“You don’t have a great poker face, Sammy. When something’s bothering you, I can literally see the wheels in your head turning,” you replied.
He sighed. “I’ll get over it.”
You shot him a look.
“It’s just— It’s not just Jessica anymore,” he explained. “It’s my dad, it’s what Meg did while she took me for a joy ride—”
“That sounds dirty, man,” you cut in.
He gave you a playful glare. “It’s like I told you. I’m scared as hell.”
You stayed silent for a moment. “Hey, you’re still you. And that’s all that matters.” You turned to face him in your seat, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You haven’t gone all ‘sith lord’ on us yet. And I honestly don’t think you will. You just… you don’t have that in you.”
His lips curled into a sad smile once more. “Thanks, (Y/N/N).”
“Any time.”
“Any update on you and Dean?”
“Oh, would you look at that, we’re here,” you smirked as Sam pulled into the motel parking lot.
He glared at you. “(Y/N)—”
“I know, I know, we’ll talk later,” you giggled. You headed into the brothers’ motel room. Dean was cleaning his guns on his bed, and you explained what you’d seen and found out from the mortician to him. The lawyer you’d examined wasn’t the first heart-free corpse, but he was the first man. Over the last year, several women had gone missing; their bodies washed up on shore, but were too deteriorated to make out anything besides the fact that their hearts were missing. The lunar cycle was exactly right for a werewolf killing as well.
“Awesome,” Dean grinned.
Sam rolled his eyes. “Dean, could you be a bigger geek about this?”
“I’m sorry, man, but what about ‘a human by day, a freak animal killing machine by moonlight’ don’t you understand? I mean, werewolves are badass. We haven’t seen one since we were kids,” the older brother protested.
“Okay, Sparky. And you know what? After we kill it, we can go to Disneyland,” Sam snarked, making you giggle.
“You know what the best part about it is? We already know how to bring these suckers down.” He held up a silver bullet. “One of these bad boys right to the heart. So, what’s our next move?”
“Talk to the girl who found the body,” replied Sam.
***
The girl who found the body had sharp, angular features and beautiful dark hair. You could tell Sam was slightly enamored by her from the second she let you into her apartment. The woman introduced herself as Madison. She showed an older man who’d come to check on her out of the apartment and motioned for you to take a seat at her kitchen table.
“You must be pretty shaken up,” started Sam. “You were Nate Mulligan’s assistant, right?”
“For two years, yeah,” she nodded.
“So, you knew all about him?” Dean questioned.
“Probably knew more about him than he did. Nate was…” she trailed off, smiling uncomfortably, “he was nice.”
“But?”
“Nothing, really. I— He had a few scotches in him, and he'd started hitting on anyone in a five-mile radius. You know the type.”
You looked over at Dean, given that was the one thing about him you disliked. “Yeah, I do, actually.”
Dean noticed your look, and he shrank a little at your apparent disappointment. “Did, uh, did he have any enemies?”
“What do you mean? It sure looked like an animal attack,” she said, shifting uncomfortably.
“No, yeah, we’re just covering all the bases. Anyone that might have had a beef with him – a former client, an ex?”
You noticed her discomfort and pressed further. “What is it?”
“Well, this is embarrassing, but my ex-boyfriend, Kurt—”
“Kurt have a last name?” Dean cut her off.
“Mueller,” she answered. After we broke up, he went kind of nuts. He’s… well, he’s kind of been stalking me. He got it in his head that something was going on between Nate and I. He showed up at my office.”
“What happened?” you asked.
“Kurt got into it with Nate; threw a punch before security grabbed him. I was lucky to keep my job,” she explained.
“When was the last time you saw Kurt?” Dean asked.
“A few nights ago. Actually, the night Nate died. We were all grabbing drinks at this bar, and Kurt showed up,” Madison replied.
“And?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. It was like he was watching me. Then he was gone. To tell you the truth, he scares me.”
“I can understand that,” you told her.
She gave you a smile.
Madison led you out of her apartment, and Sam wrote his number down for her to call you if she needed anything.
***
As night fell, Dean suggested you head to the ex-boyfriend’s house to investigate if he lived in a creature’s lair. Upon arrival, you discovered Kurt wasn’t home. However, you felt uneasy. You chalked it up to the fact that you were breaking and entering, but you’d never felt anxiety in a situation such as this previously. It almost felt like something was watching you.
“(Y/N/N), you okay?” Sam asked you upon noticing your discomfort.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s just… hurry this up. I got a bad feeling about this.”
“Okay, Skywalker,” Dean quipped.
“Anything?” you asked, ignoring his comment.
“No, nothing but leftovers and a six-pack. No human hearts behind the Haagen-Dazs either,” he replied. You suddenly heard a door open and close followed by a crashing sound coming from outside. You shared a brief look with Sam before running out to the balcony. Down the wall of the building, there were claw marks in the concrete wall, sliding all the way down to the ground.
You cringed at the sight. “That’s just great.”
Seconds later, you heard a gunshot. You ran down the fire escape and out of the apartment, heading toward where you thought you’d heard the gun fire off. When you arrived at a dark alley, you saw the boot of a person sticking out from the shadows. Cautiously, you approached, only to find the body of an incredibly mauled policeman.
“I’ll call 911,” Sam told you and his brother.
Dean bent down to the corpse. “I’d say Kurt’s looking more and more like our Cujo.”
“I don’t know, man, his apartment didn’t scream ‘creature’s lair’ to me. Aside from the fact that it’s a standard bachelor pad,” you remarked.
Dean eyed you unamusedly. “I’m gonna ignore the implication there that all men are animals.”
You grinned. “I’m glad you caught my drift.”
“Guys, if he’s out here, we better check on Madison,” Sam said, interrupting you.
***
When you arrived at her apartment early in the morning, the older man you’d first seen in Madison’s apartment when you initially visited him peeked his head out of his door. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“Police business, Glen,” Dean responded.
Madison opened the door, her face drooping slightly when she saw you. “What is it?”
You shot a look over at Glen.
“Well, maybe we should talk privately,” Sam suggested.
She nodded, still confused, and led you into her apartment. “Coffee?” she asked.
Sam accepted happily, as did Dean. You still felt uneasy, and thought you might vomit if you had something to drink.
“Has Kurt been here?” Sam asked her as she poured a cup for each of the brothers.
“Not exactly,” she replied.
“What’s that mean?” you asked.
“Well, he was outside last night. Just… looking. Just looking at me. Has he done something?”
“We’re not really sure,” Sam answered honestly.
“It’s probably nothing, but… we just don’t wanna take any chances. In fact, one of us should probably stay here with you?” Dean suggested. “Just in case he stops by. Where does he work?”
“He owns a body shop,” she replied.
“You mind grabbing that address for us?”
She nodded and started out of the room.
“Thanks,” Dean called after her.
“Alright, you go. I’ll stay,” said Sam once she was out of ear shot.
“C’mon, (Y/N),’ Dean said.
“What?” Sam questioned. “No pushback? You always wanna hangout with the hot girl.”
“Yeah, well…” the older Winchester trailed off, “Not this time, I guess.”
“You guess?” Sam scoffed. “Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?”
Dean just rolled his eyes, and a smile tugged at your lips. You thought you may have something to do with Dean’s change of heart.
“Bundle up out there, alright?” Sam said to you and Dean, shooting y0u a knowing look when his brother had turned away. You grinned back at him and followed Dean out of the apartment when Madison returned with the body shop’s address.
Dean started the drive to Kurt’s place of work, and you eyed him thoughtfully.
“What?” he asked without even turning to look at you.
“I wouldn’t have anything to do with your change of heart about staying with the cute girls, huh?” you asked, already knowing the answer. However, a large part of you just wanted him to say it out loud.
He flickered his eyes over to yours, never turning his head from the road. “No, ‘course not,” he replied.
You deflated slightly, although you knew vulnerability was difficult for him. You really and truly just wanted to hear how much you meant to him.
“Alright, fine,” he grumbled after a moment of silence. “It’s got everything to do with you.”
A smile spread across your face, heat rushing to your cheeks. “Good. I’m glad.”
*** Later that day, you discovered Kurt hadn’t been to work in a week. But because Dean was “really good,” if he did say so himself, he found out he was probably frequenting his favorite strip club.
You didn’t mind going; you enjoyed hyping the girls up. If you were a stripper, you’d much rather a girl stuffing ones in your bra than a creepy fifty-year-old man. Although, you were slightly concerned about the way Dean’s eyes were glued to the ass of the woman dancing in front of you. You couldn’t lie, though, she was hot. As long as he looked and didn’t touch, you were content.
The pretty girl in front of you bent down to take a ten dollar bill from your hand, wiggling her hips seductively as she did so. You held her gaze as she stuffed the bill in her bra with a few other ones she already earned.
Dean suddenly seemed slightly possessive. He threw an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side.
“Jealous much?” you asked.
He used the arm around your shoulders to push your face towards his, kissing you wantonly. You hummed against him just before he pulled away. You nudged his nose with yours, sighing happily. You turned back to the girl dancing only to see the man you knew to be Kurt taking a seat at the opposite side of the stage from you and Dean. You gave Dean a look, and he immediately took out his phone to call Sam.
“I found him,” Dean said, eyes on the girl dancing in front of the two of you. “Oh, yeah, my eyes are glued. Look, Sammy, I gotta let you go. I, uh, I don’t wanna... don't wanna miss anything.” He handed a dollar bill to the stripper and smiled widely when he hung up the phone.
After about an hour of generously tipping the strippers and having a few drinks, Kurt got up from the chair across from you and Dean. When he’d gotten a significant distance away, you and Dean wordlessly got up from your chairs to follow him. However, not before you turned and said, “Bye, girls!” to the dancers. The one that had been predominantly dancing in front of you and Dean waved and blew you a kiss. You blew one back, grinning.
You followed Kurt back to his apartment and sat outside, waiting for him to make a wrong move. You readied your gun, jerking to attention when you heard glass shattering. You looked back up to see the lights in Kurt’s apartment were off.
Dean breathed out, “What the—?” and you motioned for him to follow you up the fire escape. You hurried into Kurt’s apartment through the shattered window only to find Madison over the top of Kurt’s mauled body. She turned her electric blue eyes toward you and growled, bearing sharp, bloody fangs. She lunged at you, throwing you to the ground. Dean shot at her and missed, and you used her distraction to get a knick in at her arm just above her elbow with a knife you had stored in your sleeve. She howled in pain and ran out the open window.
“Motherfucker,” you cursed, uncocking your gun. “Dean, start wipin’ down your prints, we gotta get outta here,” you told him. He tossed you a handkerchief and you took care of the floor where you’d been knocked down by Madison, the fridge from when you’d first gone to investigate Kurt’s house, the countertops; everything. When you were done, Dean helped you climb out of the window without touching the sill or knicking your legs on a piece of broken glass.
As the morning sun rose, you called Sam.
Sam’s immediate response to your call was, “You guys okay?”
“Yeah. It’s Madison, Sam,” you said, cutting straight to the chase.
“What?” he asked.
“Yeah. How’d she get out without you noticing?” you questioned.
“(Y/N), I’ve been here the whole time. She’s in bed, asleep.”
“Well, she wasn’t an hour ago. Check her right arm below her elbow. I nicked her with a silver knife,” you told him.
Sam hung up the phone immediately after. You instructed Dean to go to Madison’s apartment, and he did so. You knocked on the door of her apartment, and the door opened to reveal an upset Sam and Madison tied to a chair by her wrists.
“How you doin’?” Dean smirked bitterly, strolling into the apartment.
“We’ve gotta talk,” Sam told the both of you firmly. You eyed him questioningly as he led you and his brother into another room. “She says she has no idea what I’m talking about.”
“She’s lying,” Dean responded simply.
“Or maybe she really doesn’t know she’s changing, you know? Maybe— maybe when the creature takes over, she blacks out,” Sam argued.
Dean deadpanned, “Like a really hot Incredible Hulk. Come on, dude, she ganked her boss and her ex-boyfriend. That doesn’t sound rash and unconscious.”
“Yeah, but what if it was, Dean? I mean, what if some animal part of her brain saw both those guys as threats? Hell, the cop, too.”
The older brother scoffed. “What are you, the Dog Whisperer now?”
“Look, man, I just… I don’t know, there, there, there was something in her eyes.”
“Sam, don��t let your attraction to her cloud your judgment,” you stated.
He scoffed. “You know I don’t do that.”
“Do you? This isn’t seeming like a completely rational argument, dude,” you argued calmly.
“(Y/N), I just think it may be something she has no control over. You can believe me or not—”
Dean cut Sam off. “Even if she’s telling the truth, it’s not gonna change anything. She can’t control it. That’s bad news.”
“I’m not putting a bullet through some girl’s chest who has no idea what’s happening,” Sam argued, voice rising slightly.
“Sam, she’s a monster, and you’re feeling sorry for her?” questioned Dean.
“Maybe I understand her.” Sam paused, and his voice quieted down. “Look, there might be another way we can get the job done without having to waste her.”
“Are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?” Dean asked.
Sam seemed to understand and took his dad’s journal out of his jacket. “Dad’s theory – ‘lycanthropy might have a cure if you kill the werewolf who bit you, severing the bloodline’.”
“Might have a cure,” Dean emphasized. “Meaning ‘who the hell knows’?”
“I’m not sure about this one, guys—” you sighed, scratching your neck.
Sam shrugged. “It’s worth a shot.”
“We don’t even know where to start looking, all right? I mean, the puppy that bit her could be anyone, anywhere. It could’ve been years ago,” Dean replied.
Sam seemed to realize something. “No. I don’t think so.” He led you back into the room where Madison was still tied up. “Madison, when were you mugged?”
She seemed not to want to answer. Either she really had no clue what was going on, or she was a damn good actress.
“Please. It’s important, all right? Just answer the question,” Sam begged.
Reluctantly, she said, “About a month ago.”
“Did you see the guy?” the younger brother pressed further.
“No. He grabbed me from behind.”
“Did he bite you?”
Madison seemed taken aback. “How did you know that?”
“Where?” Sam continued, ignoring her question.
She still looked scared, but was honest anyway. “On- on the back of my neck.”
Sam showed her he was setting his gun down and slowly moved behind her. He gently brushed her hair away and exposed a scarred lump on the back of her neck.
“Oh, that’s just a love bite,” Dean snarked. “Believe me, that could have been a lot worse. Where were you at the time?”
“Walking home from a friend’s loft,” she said.
“Let me guess. Not too far from Hunter’s Point?” Sam questioned.
Madison nodded, eyes bleary in confusion. You could tell some of this was beginning to make sense to her, and agreed to sit with her while the boys went into another room to talk.
“So… you really have no idea, do you?” you asked, sitting in a chair across from her.
She didn’t answer you.
Your tone immediately shifted. “Look, lovebug, I don’t think you get what’s going on here. I’m gonna need you to answer my questions, okay?”
She scoffed. “What, about the fact that you guys think I’m a fucking werewolf? You realize you sound insane, right?”
“You’re a pretty good actress, I’ll give you that,” you said. “And… if you are telling the truth, I’m sorry. I’m sure you didn’t ask for this.”
She was silent for another moment.
“But you have to understand how this all looks, okay?” you continued. “People that are connected to you— Kurt, the lawyer that was creepin’ on you— they wind up dead. Then, you attack me after you kill Kurt, and things are just supposed to be all hunky-dory now? Just because you say you can’t remember?”
You seemed to have grabbed her attention. “Kurt’s dead? Oh, my god.” She began to cry softly.
You were conflicted. She seemed to be genuinely reacting to what you were saying, and you wanted to believe her. However, every instinct within screamed at you to put a silver bullet through her chest. “Madison… can you at least understand how this looks to me? Whether you think I’m crazy or not, do you at least see where I’m coming from?”
She laughed humorlessly through her tears. “You mean, if I was a deluded psycho who pretends to be a cop hunting for monsters? Yeah, I’d understand where you’re coming from.”
The boys emerged from the room. “Alright, (Y/N), you’re with me,” Dean asserted.
*** You and Dean went to Hunter’s Point, the werewolf that had “mugged” Madison’s assumed hunting grounds, and searched for the monster. You heard a woman scream, and the two of you ran in the sound’s direction. The woman, presumably a hooker, was being dragged across the pavement by her ankles toward the werewolf.
“Hey!” Dean called.
When the creature looked up, you and Dean shot at it multiple times; each hit landing in the center of the creature’s chest. The hooker immediately scrambled away, not even sparing a glance to you and Dean.
“Hey, don’t mention it!” Dean called after her.
“Take it easy,” you scolded. “She’s scared.”
The two of you turned back to the dying creature on the ground, and you discovered it was Glen, Madison’s neighbor.
“It happened... again,” Glen coughed.
You knelt beside him.
“Where am I?” He asked you. “H–help me. Oh, god. Oh my god.” He choked again, coughing up blood.
“Alright, easy, Glen. Just take it easy,” Dean told the man.
You and Dean watched as the older man’s eyes glazed over and his shuddering subsided. Your heart almost broke for him; he truly seemed to not understand what was happening to him.
***
The morning after laying Glen to rest, you and the brothers sat outside Madison’s apartment in the Impala. You planned to wait out there till the next morning to see if Madison transformed, or if you really had cured her.
Dean was explaining Glen’s death to Sam. “It was sort of sad, actually. Glen had no clue what was going on. Hey, why do you think he turned Madison instead of just killing her in the first place?”
“I don’t know. I mean, he kind of seemed to have a thing for her,” Sam suggested.
“Maybe his primal instinct did, too. Maybe he was looking for a little, uh, hot breeding action.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows.
“Yeah. Something like that.”
“So?” you questioned, leaning over the back of the seat.
Sam eyed you quizzically. “So what?”
“Madison…?” you urged.
“Oh, whatever.”
You lightly shoved his shoulder. “Don’t ‘whatever’ me, kid, you liked her.”
“(Y/N/N), she thought I was a stark-raving lunatic,” he deadpanned.
“Yeah, a stark-raving lunatic that saved her life,” you challenged.
“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that.”
Madison suddenly appeared at Sam’s rolled-down window. “You know, for a stake-out, your car’s a bit conspicuous. What are you still doing here?”
“Honestly? Uh, we’re pretty sure you’re not gonna turn tonight, but we’ve gotta be a hundred percent, so… you know, we’re… lurking,” explained Dean.
“I know this sounds crazy—” Sam began.
Madison cut him off. “Sure does. Well, if we’re gonna wait it out… we might as well do it together.”
She led you and the brothers back up to her apartment. Madison seemed to hesitate before she spoke once inside. “You were telling the truth, weren’t you? About everything. What you did— it was to help me.”
Sam nodded.
“I did all of those horrible things,” she said remorsefully, “when I turned.”
“You didn’t know,” coaxed Sam.
“So, when will we know for sure? Moonrise?” she asked.
“No, I don’t think so,” the brunet answered. “You turned middle of the night last night. I think we’ve gotta hang in until sun-up.”
You watched Sam carefully, and Dean gave a tiny nod. “Well,” the older brother began, “it looks like we’ve got ourselves a few hours to kill. Poker, anyone?”
“Always,” you said.
***
Several games later, the sun sank, and the moon rose. Dean laid his gun on the table, and Madison and Sam watched him with unease.
“Oh, no, you guys talk,” Dean chuckled awkwardly.
***
Hours later, the sun came up.
“Does— Does this mean it worked?” Madison asked hopefully.
Sam sighed in relief. “Yeah. I think so.”
Madison threw her arms around Sam. “Oh, God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
Dean cleared his throat, and you jabbed him with your elbow at his interruption of their moment.
Madison laughed. “You, too, Dean. Thank you. Same to you, (Y/N).”
You nodded. “Well, Dean and I have some, uh… stuff to go do.” You pulled on the older brother’s jacket, lugging him out of the room. “Bye, Sam, bye, Madison.”
“Smooth,” Dean commented once you were out of the door.
“Look, I didn’t wanna be in there any longer than necessary. Room stunk of sexual tension,” you chided.
“Between me and you, or Sam and Madison?” he smirked.
You scoffed, “Smooth,” mocking his earlier statement.
***
As soon as the door to the motel room was shut, Dean’s lips were on yours. You shoved his back against the door, pushing his jacket down his shoulders. You bit his bottom lip eagerly, and he moaned into your mouth.
“(Y/N), what are you doing to me,” he groaned.
“Shut up,” you ordered, tugging his hair harshly. You shoved him down onto the bed and teasingly ghosted your lips over his clothed chest all the way up his neck and stopped just before his lips. He tried to lean up to kiss you, but you wouldn’t let him.
“Stop teasing,” he growled, almost sounding pitiful.
You tsked. “You didn’t ask very nicely.” You rolled your hips over the hardening bulge in his jeans, and he groaned again.
“(Y/N), please,” he whined.
“There’s my boy,” you grinned, leaning forward to kiss him. His hands were all over you in an instant, and you kissed down his neck. You got his shirt off before taking his pants off and palmed him through his boxers.
“(Y/N), stop it,” he begged.
“Stop what?” You took your hand off, worried you’d done something wrong.
“Teasing,” he whined. “Just touch me, please.”
You’d never seen him so spaced out before. The shit-eating grin returned to your face, and you went back to dragging your fingers along the underside of his shaft through his underwear. “I am touching you,” you playfully said.
He thrusted up into your hand. “Oh, god, you know what I mean.”
“I don’t, actually,” you cooed.
“(Y/N), please suck my dick. Please, sweetheart. I need you,” he begged.
“Atta boy,” you said, happily taking his boxers down his hips. You began teasing the tip of his penis with your tongue before taking the whole thing into your mouth. You sucked on him earnestly, and his hips stuttered, trying to thrust up into you. You held his hips down firmly, but couldn’t keep his hand from winding in your hair. You felt he was close to ejaculation and quickly took your mouth off him.
“What the fuck?” he questioned, chest heaving.
You gripped the base of his cock harshly. “Watch your mouth,” you said lowly.
“Oh, god, sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry.”
You grinned at the thought of having such a tough and strong man turning to absolute putty in your hands.
“I-I wanna touch you. Please,” Dean heaved, clawing at your shoulders.
You slinked up his body, sitting gently on his stomach. Dean pushed your shirt up, running his hands underneath it to get to your breasts. He groaned as he squeezed one in each hand, and you threw your head back at the feeling of him tweaking your nipples.
“Sweetheart,” he started, “Ride my face. Please.”
Heat flooded between your thighs at the thought. “Okay,” you said, suddenly feeling nervous. You pushed your jeans off and hovered over his face. You were afraid to settle onto him completely, but that trepidation was quickly subdued by Dean grabbing your hips and pulling you down onto his lips, his large hands firmly keeping you there. You moaned instantly when his tongue immediately found your clit, sucking harshly.
You eagerly rolled your hips against him, half trying to escape the immense pleasure and half trying to move toward it. Your orgasm approached quickly, and you screamed his name as you came.
When he finally released you, you moved off him to reveal a shit-eating grin spread across his glistening face. You gathered up the slick that had collected on his mouth with two of your fingers and shoved them into his mouth, and he sucked them harshly. You got back on top of him, settling right over his hardened dick.
“You ready for me, baby?” you asked.
He responded by thrusting against you, catching you off-guard. You gasped and lined up with his cock before slamming down onto him. You rolled your hips in time with his, and he pulled you down to his lips to kiss you. Dean’s erratic thrusts were making you dizzy, and he soon rolled over on top of you to finish getting the both of you off. You dug your nails into his shoulders, and he buried his face in your neck as the two of you came together.
Gasps and moans filled the room around you as you both rode out your highs. Dean stayed fully inside you, even after he came, and adjusted the two of you to where you were lying on his chest with his dick still inside you. Completely content, you fell asleep on top of Dean.
*** The next morning, you woke up before Dean as usual. His cock had softened, but was still nestled firmly inside you. You gingerly slid off him and moved to go get showered and dressed, only to have him grab your hand as you tried to step away to get a fresh set of clothes.
He hummed, “Morning,” and pulled you back down to him.
You giggled and yelped as you came crashing down back to the bed next to him and pecked his lips. “Hi, handsome.”
He kissed you again. “Y’know,” Dean started, kissing you once more. “I’ve never—” kiss, “—let anyone—” kiss, “—besides you—” kiss, “—do that to me.”
“Well, good. I’m happy to be the one and only,” you smiled against his lips, standing once more.
Just as you and Dean had finished getting dressed and were going to head for some breakfast, there was a pounding on the door. You opened it to reveal a completely breathless Sam.
“ She— she turned,” he said.
“What?” you asked, shocked.
“I couldn’t grab her in time,” he continued sadly.
Dean came up behind you and put a hand on your waist to let you know he was there. “We’ll find her, Sammy.”
Sam continued to panic as you headed down to the Impala. He told you Bobby knew severing the bloodline wouldn’t work, and any other hunter he’d called said there was no way to cure a werewolf.
“How come she didn’t turn when we were with her?” Dean asked.
“Dean—” Sam began.
Dean cut him off. “So, what, you put her to bed and then she wolfed out? Maybe she’s gotta be asleep to turn.”
“What the hell does it matter, Dean? Look, we’ve gotta find some way to help her, some legend we missed or something.”
“Sam, I don’t think so, man,” you chimed in. “Somebody would’ve known about it.”
“Well, then we have to look harder! Until we find something,” he protested, welling up with tears.
“Sammy, I don’t think we’ve got a choice here anymore,” Dean sighed. “I hate to say it. She’s a sweet girl, but part of her is—”
Sam cut him off. “Evil? Yeah, that’s what they say about me, Dean! So me you won’t kill, but her, you’re just gonna blow away?”
Before Dean could argue, Sam’s phone rang. “Madison, where are you?”
Upon hearing that, you and the brothers quickly got to and into the car without needing to say a word to each other. “Alright, hold on, Maddie. We’re coming to get you, just stay where you are,” Sam told her before hanging up the phone.
*** Back in Madison’s apartment, she sat clad in a shirt Sam had been wearing the day before at her kitchen table. Dean’s favorite gun sat before her, and she eyed it, emotionless. “I don’t remember anything. I probably killed someone last night. Didn’t I?” she asked hesitantly.
“We don’t know that yet,” you reminded her.
The brunette looked up to Sam. “Is there something else we can try to make it go away?”
“We’ll find something. I mean, there’s gotta be some answer, somewhere,” Sam tried.
Dean’s voice rumbled through the air. “That’s not entirely true. Madison, you deserve to know. We’ve scoured every source. There’s just no cure.”
Madison turned back to Sam and then looked over to you. “Is— Is he right?”
The younger Winchester stood and turned away, choked up.
“We thought about tying you up, but one day, you’re gonna bust out,” you told her. “And then… someone else dies.” You paused thoughtfully. “I’m sorry. I am.”
“Me too,” Dean added.
Shakily exhaling through her tears, Madison resigned herself. “So, I guess that’s all there is to it, then.”
Sam turned back to her. “Stop it. Don’t talk like that.”
Your heart broke at the sight of Madison picking up the gun and walking it over to Sam. “Sam, I don’t wanna hurt anyone else. I don’t wanna hurt you.”
“Put that down,” he begged.
“I can’t do it myself. I need you to help me.”
A tear slipped down Sam’s cheek. “Madison, no.”
“Sam… I’m a monster.”
“You don’t have to be. We could find a way, alright? I can. I’m gonna save you,” he said, although you know he didn’t believe what he was saying.
“You tried,” she sighed, crying harder. “I know you tried. But this is all there is left. Help me, Sam. I want you to do it. I want it to be you.”
He shook his head. “I can’t.”
“I don’t wanna die. I don’t,” she continued. “But I can’t live like this. This is the way you can save me. Please. I’m asking you to save me.”
Sam shook his head again, and Madison watched him intently. Cautiously, Dean walked up behind Madison and gently took the gun from her. Sam immediately stormed off to another room.
You exchanged a look with Dean before following his younger brother.
“Sam,” Dean said, holding up the gun. “ I’m sorry.”
The brunet shook his head, still crying. “No, you’re right. She’s right.”
“Sammy, I got this one. I’ll do it,” Dean replied bravely.
“She asked me to.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do. Please.” He held out his hand for the gun, tears flowing steadily now. Dean couldn’t seem to manage handing it to him, and you carefully took it from his hand. Sliding a hand up Dean’s back to comfort him, you held the gun out to Sam.
Standing with Dean, rubbing circles over the middle of his back with your thumb and tucked into his side, you watched Sam walk out of the room.
“Just wait here,” he told you. His whole body tremored, and his face shone with tears. He hesitated a moment before moving toward the other room.
Now that it was just the two of you, Dean clutched your hip harder and allowed a tear to roll down his cheek. You stood by him silently, allowing him to allow himself to feel for a brief moment. And then, you flinched at the horrible sound of a single gunshot coming from the next room.
Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld
#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x y/n#dean winchester x you#dean x reader#dean x y/n#dean x you#dean winchester#supernatural#supernatural series rewrite#spn#spn series rewrite
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Saying Something Stupid, like I Love You
Poseidon x Amphitrite!Reader
Requested. @amphitriteswife
Plot: Poseidon faces a dilemma concerning his love life. Reluctantly accepting their help, he plans to make things right with (Name). Thankfully she is lonely on New Year's and needs all the company she can get.
Warnings: Poseidon is bad at feelings but it works out, angst but a happy end.
Notes: Happy new year. Here is my gift. 🐚
"You've been an awful mood lately.", Zeus teased, raking his beard as he chuckled.
His brother, Poseidon didn't dare to say anything, but instead glared at him. Not that it would do much anyways.
"Look I was right Hades! Doesn't he look like a pouting child!", at this point Poseidon nearly summoned his trident just to skewer his brother, not caring for the consequences at hand.
But before he could, Hades smacked Zeus's head, "Quit your teasing Zeus, but you do have a point. Brother what is going on with you, did something happen?", Hades glanced over at the ruler of the seas with a look of concern.
In all his years, not once did Hades ever see Poseidon be so...off. Sure he is arrogant, but he has the power to back it up. But now, he looks as if he is distressed. This whole week he has been.
From what he heard, he has been ignoring meetings with his fellow godlike beings, causing unnecessary problems, ignoring his duties on Olympus, and at one point nearly flooded the whole of Olympus when asked about it.
Since that incident, no one has been able to tell him to stop, out of fear of being killed.
"It's nothing you should concern yourself. I'm perfectly fine."
If there was anything that Hades knew better than anyone else, it was that Poseidon was a terrible liar.
Zeus sneaked behind Poseidon's chair, "Let me take a guess."
"You need my help but you don't want to admit it."
"I would never require the assistance of someone like you."
"You accidentally broke your trident and now you're throwing a fit."
"Should I smite you with said 'broken trident' Zeus?"
"Is it concerning Amphitrite?", Hades asked, breaking the dispute between his younger brothers.
Poseidon was silent. Bingo.
Zeus's laugh filled the room as Hades chuckled at the sudden realization. Poseidon has been having love problems. Should news of Poseidon's love life ever go out, the Heavens would fall apart. Maidens and potential suitors would have their dreams shattered.
Realizing he could not get out of this mess, Poseidon, reluctantly, have a brief summary of his situation.
Amphitrite or (Name), has been distancing herself from him as of late. Everytime he approached her, she would throw some reason to excuse herself. No longer could he see her glowing dark skin under the sun, or the moonlight. Stare into her eyes that put the beauty of various beings to shame. He could no longer be held by her, or even listen to her enchanting voice.
In short, he could no longer be with her.
"I never thought you would be a lovesick fool Poseidon. Never thought they day would come.", Zeus joked earning another glare from Poseidon.
"It makes sense, you have been a temper tantrum. I should've stopped your habit if I knew it was going to be this bad.", Hades said, a smile growing on his face as he too teased the King of the Seas.
Poseidon hated the reaction he received from his brothers. They were making fun of him, and had it not been for the fact that they're his most trusted pupils, he would of ended their lives swiftly long time ago.
Soon, Hades collected himself, and Zeus followed suit. "So do you want our help or not, lover boy Poseidon?", Zeus nudged Poseidon, further agitating him.
With no other option, Poseidon answered a begrudgingly "yes".
The aftermath of Christmas lingers as festive lights and decorations all around the Heavens. With the new year, brought new beginnings and although it was meant to bring joy, it had only brought more sadness to (Name).
Seeing all the couples walking around with each other in arms, or buying more fireworks to celebrate the new years at their parties. Not to mention, a sculpture of Zeus dressed up in a tuxedo with Hera beside him with a glamorous dress to showcase her beauty. How great...
As much as she wished to climb into the arms of her friends to get rid of her feelings, she couldn't. With the following reasons...
Her nymph friends were trying to get a chance to be with gods like Apollo.
Persephone was visiting Hades in the Underworld or her mother on the Overworld.
Other friends of hers were visiting family or too busy.
Nonetheless, she was alone. She sighed to herself, the cold wind gently blowing against her face."For a bright and lively season like this, you don't like you're having much fun."
(Name) perplexed at the sudden voice, turned around to see Hermes. "Happy New Year to you Hermes. Any deliveries you should be attending to?", she looked at him with suspicion. Hermes smiled wider than usual.
"No reason.", he spoke. "However if I were you, I would go to the beach to calm all my worries." He pointed towards the beach, his smile not faltering not once. (Name) frowned at his words.
Sure, the beach would be great. Sand under her feet, and a chance to relax in the cool waters. However it reminded her of Poseidon.
Something told her that he doesn't like her presence as he hardly ever responded to what she says, only answering with a nod or a hum. And with his cold attitude, it only made sense he didn't think much of her or at all. The guilt of wasting his and her time ate her inside.
So to avoid making the situation worse, she distanced herself. Sure it hurts, but it's the thought that counts.
"Any reason for you to say that? In fact, why don't you mind your business, go run errands somewhere. I'm busy.", she waved off his suggestion and continued walking.
"Oh, but you have to. Poseidon ordered for your presence. And if word got out that you rejected the Poseidon himself, what would the Heavens make of you?"
Damn. He made a good point.
With no other choice, (Name) changed course and walked towards the beach. Not without cursing Hermes.
"So...you wanted my presence, Lord Poseidon?", (Name) asked. Before her was a dinner table and multiple decorations: seashells, corals, and lights. Donned in a fine suit with a small flower in the chest pocket, was the King of the Seas with his signature cold gaze. In his hands held a bouquet.
"I would like to take you to dinner.", he answered as she still tried to process the situation. This was all too much! The dinner table, decorations, and the flowers?
It would have been anyone's dream to experience was the scene right in front of her eyes, but not her. She avoided Poseidon like the plague only for him to ask for her and present her with dinner? Romantic as it is, it seemed suspicious...
"But, why? You clearly don't like my presence, so why the sudden change, AND why did you feel the need to plan a romantic dinner?!"
His eyes glanced at a rock that hid both Hades and Zeus, the duo gave him a thumbs up. He glared at them before turning his attention back to (Name). "I wanted to make you feel special, and...to apologize for my behaviour towards you."
If there was one thing the King of the Seas was not good at doing was apologies, however it was always genuine whenever he was backed into a corner to apologize.
"Apologize?"
"Yes."
Internally, (Name) clutched her pearls. Poseidon the King of the Seas, most feared Olympian, apologizing?! "It must be a dream", she thought.
Poseidon took a deep breath, silently cursing his brothers, " (Name), for the past weeks that I was away from your presence, I had the opportunity to contemplate my actions towards you."
"Every time you make some pathetic excuse to avoid me, it...breaks my heart to see you go. Your presence makes living more tolerable, since I'm surrounded by a circus.", Zeus gasped is shock at his comment, had it not been for Hades stopping him, he would have ruined the moment.
"You are more enchanting than the stars themselves, your voice eases my heart, and even if I were to give you a thousand compliments today and ten thousand tomorrow, it would still not be enough to describe how I truly feel about you."
Despite the cold look on his face, his cheeks and ears were dusted with pink. His eyes held a hidden warmth only meant for her. He walked towards (Name), holding the bouquet of forget-me-nots to her. It looked like he wanted to propose to her.
"But why, do this all for me, why do you want me?", (Name) asked, tears about to spill from her eyes. Poseidon sighed, "Because I love you."
Zeus and Hades popped their heads from behind the rock, eyes wide open. To hear their Poseidon actually say he loves someone was a miracle of itself.
Time had stood still for a moment between (Name) and Poseidon. Without realizing, tears had already started streaming down her face. Closing the distance from the two, Poseidon wiped her tears away with his thumbs. (Name) pressed her forehead against his, her eyes looking into his own.
"I appreciate the view, allowing me to see your eyes closely once more.", he whispered causing a smile to form on her face. She wrapped her arms around his waist, before giving him a kiss on the lips. As she pulled away, she rested her hands on his cheeks.
"Come back to my palace, there's a new collection of pearls and other accessories that I believe would suit you."
"I would love to, my dearest."
The two entered the ocean together, Poseidon in the arms of (Name), and (Name) telling him of her latest adventures. Once the two were gone, Zeus and Hades left their hiding spot.
"Well that turned out better than I anticipated.", the King of the Heavens smiled. "But what to do about the dinner setup?", Hades questioned.
The two stopped and thought about, "I'll just use it as an apology to Hera, after we had our argument the other day.", Zeus said.
"You are really shameless."
Happy new years!!
Sorry if Poseidon is ooc, but we deserve a soft Poseidon at least once in a while...
#record of ragnarok#shuumatsu no valkyrie#record of ragnarok x reader#shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader#snv poseidon#ror poseidon#snv poseidon x reader#ror poseidon x reader#vandal-flower
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Even if I haven't been very active lately, 9 years is still pretty significant- happy birthday to the blog!
So like Percy up there I'm gonna do so dome reflecting. This blog's where I've often done that for some reason, but here's the tl'dr for blog related stuff.
• I would like to keep drawing stuff but feeling generally unsure in myself, and I'm wondering if all the years of fandom harrassment have caught up with me • I have one big project in mind, I've been dipping my toe into what I'd need to do it. No spoilers but it was one of the first things I played around with this series, so do with that what you will • If I can keep myself drawing, I want to use more of the original source material since I'm struggling with original ideas. So stuff like redraws, hOpEfULlY even animatics, just like what originally got me so into trains yknow? Because that's fun and sparks joy. And that always goes down a treat with you guys so bonus • As always I appreciate you guys not coming after me for being so inconsistent
The rest of this is me doing what Percy's doing in the drawing and reflecting, as there is indeed much 2 think about. It's also a little sad and venty so, there's your warning there.
.
Ok so obviously a busy year, we moved into our new house that we actually own, I spent most of the year planning our wedding, and then got married. Big stuff. Also! I came off antidepressants in the summer. I've been on them for...basically as long as this blog, 6 months after I started it I think. Which also means I'd been on antidepressants my entire adult life. Feels like a big deal and I guess I'm still adjusting.
Another big thing, but sad, is that my dog died about two weeks ago. If you follow me on twitter you'll have seen her but she did make an appearance here a few Halloweens ago
I got her when she was 13 and had her 8 years after that. So that's been difficult. Unrelated to that (probably), but I just feel...really mediocre. And before you point out the obvious, this has been present even before I came off antidepressants. But yeah just... mediocrity. In myself as a person, how I look, what I draw, my whole life really (barring my marriage thankfully). What have I achieved? I'm 26, I'm not working, I don't feel well, my art isn't good (I don't think so anyway- like yeah it's technically fine I guess but it's not, and has never been, very stand-out or impressive). And lately art doesn't bring me the same joy it once did, and I'm wondering if all the years of harrassment from this fandom (mostly the twitter side, tumblr's been pretty good to me) has finally caught up with me and put me off the whole thing. Or worse, that I just don't have as much of an interest in it anymore. I don't think I'll ever be like "ok yep I'm officially done with this blog" because I'm so stubborn but idk. I want to make things and be creative, I want to make more train art, but it doesn't feel the same. I don't know what's wrong. What do you listen to? What you want vs what you feel? I still enjoy train stuff, I love going to Awdry Ex every year. It's been like this for awhile. It's not even like I have a strong feeling of what I'd rather be doing as far as careers go. And even if I did, oh yeah I'm sure my two degrees in animation will be very relevant in another field (sarcasm). I feel adrift. My sails are open but there is just no wind. Planning my wedding gave me something to do and work on and just, feel useful but now that that's over I feel lost again. Losing my dog, who had become the center of my life because of how vulnerable she had become, hasn't helped.
On the more creative side of things, I also don't really know what to do with this blog's story either. The show's ended as far as most people are concerned, and I kiiinda wrote myself into a corner because once Thomas turns 18 he's going to leave for university, and that sets off this whole arc with James but basically the problem is it involves characters leaving and for some reason that feels like a no-no here. Don't get me started on the timeline lol. But Thomas works on a railway on Sodor, that's how it has to be...right? I guess I'm sort of at a crossroads of, ok do I want this to be close to the source material, and thus easily digestible to newcombers? Or do I want to make it more and more my thing and distanced from the source material? I doubt there's many new people coming since the series ended. And even then, there's a lot more humanization artists around now than when I started, so it's not like I'm filling a niche anymore. Just to be clear it's fine and also good that there's more humanization artists, variety is good, I just don't feel as "needed" anymore (which is 100% in my head and not an actual role that belongs to me or something). I started this blog when I was 17, so my interests and what I relate to have changed obviously. The character designs certainly have. It's never followed a super rigid story plan, but the core of it has always been the central cast doing things on Sodor. I however have always had a scene/project/animatic/whatEver in mind for when this 'series' would '''officially''' ''''end''''. But then what comes after that? I've always tried to run this blog like they are Real People that You interact with. But in real life there is no ending to the story, there's always more stuff to come. You get married, and it's wonderful, and then life goes on. The credits never roll. So maybe that's what I'm having trouble coping with...the progression of time. Ah, my old nemesis. I've always had trouble with letting go of things. There's nothing to say that I couldn't still draw stuff after the series "ends". I guess any story after Thomas leaves could be like... a sequel series or a spin off or something. Spin-off of a spin-off. Famous 8 All Grown Up. Famous 8 Qurter Life Crisis. Who knows. I certainly don't.
I've also been really into an original project unrelated to this but those don't get as much attention and while I'd like to do something with it one day, I don't feel very confident in being able to make that happen right now. But you know... as far my as art not being super spectacular goes... I think my individual talent has always been is my ideas, like the writing side of things. And then brought to life with my art, which normally isn't anything to write home about but is good enough to convey the idea and be not-awful to look at, lifts both of them beyond what they were individually. Maybe that's what I should focus on. Maybe that's wishful thinking.
So....idk. Idk what I'm doing but I'm trying to be gentle on myself and just let myself continue to drift, to heal from this heavy loss, and then in the New Year I'll try and pick myself up. Then there will be no more big once-in-a-lifetime events coming up, no more just-moved-into-a-house-and-oh-no-there's-a-bunch-of-things-that-need-attention-NOW scenarios, and no more big holidays for awhile. I guess we'll see.
If you read all of this I am so sorry but also thank you for reading my ramblings. And thank you for being around, whether that's been for a few months or for several years, but especially if it's been several years
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you with the dark curls (you with the watercolor eyes)
part ii: i wanna hear you speak to me
james potter x reader // read it on AO3
word count: 3.6k
summary: “Falling in love with your best friend was never a good idea, but you’d managed to do the idiot thing anyway, carrying a torch for a boy who would never look past Lily’s emerald eyes to see the watercolor ones that had always been by his side.”
tags: best friends to lovers, angst with a happy ending, based on the song "dear arkansas daughter" by lady lamb, fem!reader
author's notes: new year, new chapter! i started writing this one back in SEPTEMBER and finally had enough time away from the terrors of calculus homework to finish it. thanks for reading my story so far and i hope you enjoy this incredibly self-indulgent chapter, because i had way too much fun writing it!! i promise that the angst in this chapter *will* be resolved, but it was too deliciously tempting to resist sprinkling a wee bit of hurt/comfort and dramatics in there as well. sorry not sorry!
read it all here: part i, part ii, part iii (coming soon!)
“I’ve got no bloody clue how Dumbledore can be so energetic all the time,” you groaned, head in your hands as you peeked out at the headmaster’s more-than-slightly manic grin from your seat at the Gryffindor breakfast table. You were far too sleep-deprived to process his latest choice of garish attire: a bright chartreuse robe covered in plaid polka dots, topped off with what appeared to be rhinestones and tinsel attached to his beard.
Perhaps if Kettleburn hadn’t assigned you three feet of parchment on the seventeen glorious properties of dragon dung yesterday and expected it done by this afternoon, you might have appreciated the headmaster’s creative fashion choices– oh, who were you kidding. There really was no understanding that wizard, even properly rested. James and Peter had made a bet during fifth year on how long it’d take Dumbledore to crack under a constant deluge of pranks in his office, but they’d quickly realized that the man was too far gone to do anything but take inspiration for school events– an idea that was quite frankly, comically frightening, and the sort of thing you weren’t keen on pondering on a normal Tuesday morning.
Sirius wrinkled his nose sympathetically and slid the pile of raspberry jam tarts closer to you. “Late night in the library again?”
You nodded sheepishly, gratefully taking a pastry from the pile. “I honestly don’t know why Pince allows me to stay past curfew. Marauder’s luck, I guess?” Your attention was diverted by the sound of hoots and flapping wings as the morning owl brigade arrived, apparently choosing a kamikaze dive-bomb approach to deliver this morning’s newspapers. Ah, the joys of living at the world’s most advanced magical school.
Sirius, ever the epitome of grace, slipped under the table as a rogue owl zipped past, popping himself back up just enough to throw you finger guns. “Exactly right, doll, exactly right,” he grinned. “Trust me, Marauder’s luck gets you everywhere. And I mean everywhere,” he winked, sending you a lecherous smirk.
“Ew, Sirius, I don’t even want to know,” you sniffed. “I’ve learned my lesson after the mental trauma your tales of Dorcas’ birthday adventures inflicted upon my psyche. Please, spare me the details.”
“What? All I meant was Slughorn’s Christmas Party, of course!” He batted his eyelashes angelically, still partially covered by the tablecloth.
Your mouth gaped open in shock. “Last year’s Christmas party? Sirius Orion Black, I refuse to hear another word! What on earth would your ancestors think, with you bragging about such exploits-”
He leaned over, eyes wide with laughter. “No, I meant the one Slughorn is throwing on the 21st, it’s exclusively for us lucky seventh years this time. Although, you bring up some very fond memories… okay, okay, I’ll stop, don’t kick me–”
“What are we kicking Sirius for?” James slid onto the bench across from you, eyeing a groveling Sirius with interest. Peter joined him, but wisely chose to stay away from the ruckus, piling his plate high with the bacon the owls had spared. Remus was noticeably absent, spending the morning resting in the infirmary after a rough night of shifting– which you assumed was much more peaceful than the current chaos at the Gryffindor breakfast table.
“Oh! Good morning, Jamie,” you beamed up at him, passing him the plate of desserts you’d been protecting from Sirius’ nefarious advances. “Morning, dove,” he greeted you, and then paused. “Ha, get it? Morning dove?” He puffed up his chest smugly and nudged Sirius with his elbow in a futile effort to make him laugh. You huffed fondly at his antics. Boys.
Sirius rolled his eyes and took advantage of your momentary distraction, retreating back onto his seat to nurse his wounds– to your ever-growing delight (and Sirius’ woe), you had recently discovered that the Hogwarts girls’ uniform shoes were quite sharp. “At this point we should call you Lames. ‘Cause your puns are lame,” he muttered.
You shooed him away with a brush of your hand, remembering what Sirius had mentioned earlier. “According to Sirius, Slughorn’s hosting a Christmas Party again this year. Let’s pray it won’t be like the last one.” You muttered. James and Peter both looked vaguely ill at the prospect, shuddering in unison. “My tie will never look the same again,” Peter griped, but suddenly sat up straight in his seat. “Hey, wait, we’re finally old enough to bring dates to this one! Without sneaking them in, I mean.”
Sirius snickered and lightly punched his shoulder. “Why, Petey, got some lucky girl in mind?” Peter reddened and glanced over at the Hufflepuff table, where a certain freckled blonde was chatting with her friends– a move that didn’t go unnoticed by James, who gave a delighted wolf-whistle. “You got a thing for Lucy Abbott, huh? Might want to make a move before Smith does,” he grinned, gesturing to the tall brunette boy who’d just arrived and sharing a knowing smirk with you. You giggled at Peter’s increasingly pouty expression; he’d figure out sooner or later that Smith was definitely not interested in Abbott– or witches in general– but it was entertaining to see him out of his comfort zone. Peter had always been the quietest of your little group, and you privately thought that a bit of momentary romantic angst might spur him to be more assertive. An ironic opinion, considering how your own love life revolved around the fact that your best friend had feelings for someone else… and you couldn’t do anything about it except mope.
Peter scowled. “Easy for you to say, Prongs, you’ve finally got precious Lily-flower wrapped around your finger. I bet you’ve already asked her!”
There it was: another reminder that James wasn’t yours, and never would be. You watched as the Gryffindor boys good-naturedly jostled his shoulder and tousled his curls. James grinned sheepishly, shrugging off their teasing. “Not yet,” he admitted, glancing hopefully at the end of the table, where Lily was chatting with her friends.
Peter rolled his eyes. “Aw, come on, we all know she’ll say yes this year.” Sirius winced, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. Peter glanced at Sirius, drawn by the movement. “What’ve you got to worry about? Half the population would kill Dumbledore to get one dance with you. The only person who’s got to worry about a date is me– well, and maybe Y/n, I guess.” His face suddenly turned contemplative, looking you up and down. “Are you going with someone?”
Sirius’ grimace became doubly pronounced at Peter’s tactlessness, and you felt your face heating up. Peter had a way of accidentally hitting on the issues others tried to hide. It wasn’t his fault he’d never heard about your trips to Hogsmeade with a paramour– in fact, none of the boys had. Because there hadn’t been any. You’d spent your entire time at Hogwarts pining after James, and as a result had missed the romantic milestones your classmates had already blissfully bragged about.
Peter looked at you expectantly, waiting for a response, and you opened your mouth to confess your lack of experience when you spotted a familiar redhead walking gracefully towards your side of the table– to James, you realized with a start. Something within you ignited as you watched her glow with confidence, carefree and lovely as ever. Lily would never pine after someone uselessly; she knew she could get anyone she wanted with the right amount of banter and flirty gestures. You... Well, you weren’t there quite yet, but maybe it was time to take inspiration from the Muggle saying and ‘fake it til you make it’. And before you could think about what you were about to do, you turned to Peter and smiled coyly. “I might.”
James’ and Sirius’ heads snapped up immediately from their perusal of the breakfast lineup as they let out an identical murmur of surprise. “What?” James furrowed his brow, looking you up and down– seemingly trying to discern whether you had taken a holiday from your senses, most likely via Bludger-induced concussion at the last Quidditch match. Sirius merely raised a questioning eyebrow at you. You groaned internally, knowing that you’d have to explain yourself later… although, if your half-baked idea worked, you’d be spending a lot more time with him anyway. For now, you beamed innocently at both of them and took a sip of your pumpkin juice. Apparently, the Sorting Hat had placed you in Gryffindor for a reason- you were either incredibly brave or incredibly foolish to commit to this plan, but with Evans quickly approaching, you saw no other choice.
Peter looked momentarily shocked, then glumly began to assemble an egg and bacon sandwich seasoned with the occasional mutterance of “unfair” and “perpetually single, my arse”.
James’ eyes were still trained on you. “Who is it?” he asked, searching your face again as if he was looking for some indication that you were joking. You shrugged, trying to look casual. “I guess you’ll just have to find out, won’t you?”
“Dove-” he began, but Lily finally reached his seat and placed one stupidly perfect hand on his shoulder, diverting his attention momentarily. “Sorry to interrupt your breakfast, but Professor McGonagall asked me to bring you to her office for Quidditch scheduling.” James blinked, glancing up at her and then at the rest of the table. He stood up and focused on you again, expression clouded. “I’ll see you in Potions, yeah?”
Sirius stood up quickly, ushering him out of his seat with a speed you’d only seen him use to gulp down cheap Firewhiskey. He gave you a significant look. “Actually, Y/n and I were just about to take a walk, isn’t that right? So we'll both see you in Potions, what a sublime coincidence, now don’t be late for your meeting–” he chattered on as he shoved James toward the doors of the Great Hall, the latter eyeing him suspiciously but moving nonetheless. Sirius turned to you and pointed to the courtyard entryway. “You. Me. Talk, as in right now.”
Once you were sure that you’d made it out of earshot of Peter and the rest of the Gryffindor table, you wheeled around to face him. “Okay. First of all… I didn’t plan that.” Sirius raised an eyebrow again. “Second of all, I need a favour,” you pleaded, staring up at him with the most adorable doe eyes you could physically summon. They were usually most effective on James, for some reason, but you were sure that Sirius wasn’t immune to your manipulation either. He groaned, resting his face in his hands. “How do you even have a date? Last time I checked, also known as yesterday, you were still head over heels for Prongsie, doll. So do I need to check you for Amortentia or somethi–” He peered out from between his fingers with annoyed realization. “You don’t have a date, do you.”
You blinked innocently up at him. He let out a long-suffering sigh and ran his hands through his hair. “This is what you need the favour for? You want me to go with you to Slughorn’s party so you can pretend in front of the rest of Hogwarts that you’re not madly in love with Jamie?”
You grinned confidently up at him and slung an arm around his shoulders. “Aw, Siri, you know me so well. It’s almost as if you were maaaade to be my date for the party...” You fluttered your eyelashes up at him one more time for good measure, trying to hide a smirk. “Alright, alright, stop with the Bambi act, I’ll take you.” He scowled good-naturedly. “You know, this is going to ruin my dating pool for the next month.”
You scoffed. “As if! If anything, you’ll just have more people fawning over you– temptation of the forbidden apple and all, you know.”
Sirius brightened up considerably at this revelation. “Well, why didn’t you say so in the beginning, doll! I vote that we match in purple velvet, it does wonders for my complexion–”
You gave a very unladylike snort at the thought of you and Sirius swanning into the party in some sort of horrendous plum-coloured disco getup, and shooed him away towards the Potions classroom. That was an eyesore to imagine sometime when you weren’t about to get a headache from the dim dungeon lighting.
Slughorn greeted you and Sirius by directing you to the front of the classroom with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Oho, a pair of latecomers, I see!” He winked at you and Sirius in exaggerated motion. You winced as Snape jeered and nudged Malfoy, who was busy enjoying Flint’s crude gestures at you. Ugh, Slytherin boys. The worst of the lot. Their snickers were quickly stopped by James chucking a handful of powdered wormwood at their heads when Slughorn turned away, making Malfoy’s prized hair appear covered in soot. You shot him a grateful smile.
“Since you two missed my initial remarks, let’s see if you can make it up by identifying today’s potion, hmm?” Slughorn gestured dramatically to a shimmering green brew in a cauldron next to his desk, cherry-coloured smoke curling off of the top invitingly.
Sirius shot you a panicked look, clearly not expecting to be put in the academic spotlight, but you shook your head and stepped closer. You smelled something rich and incense-like, which meant that Bumburrel leaves were a key ingredient. And combined with the way the smoke was drifting lazily around your wrists, curling higher and higher… “Brew of Mandelian, sir. Used for sharpened acuity under times of pressure.”
Slughorn gave a delighted chuckle and clapped his hands. “Well then! Ten points to Gryffindor for paying attention in lectures!” He dismissed you and Sirius with a wave, moving on to explain the finer points of ingredient preparation to a very bemused George Goyle as you slipped into your usual seat beside James.
You worked in quiet harmony for a moment, methodically slicing and crushing the slippery beetles needed to give the brew its signature green colour while James handed you the insects. He broke the silence after six beetles (not that you had been counting or anything) with an awkward, “So… you have a, erm, date?”
You huffed, motioning for him to hand you the foul-smelling Moorish tubers next. “Honestly, James, is it that surprising?” He scratched the back of his neck, frowning. “Well, I– yeah, I guess.” he trailed off, seeing your expression.
“The tubers, Jamie, thank you. I mean, you looked at me like I was a ghost back in the Great Hall!” You were decidedly not making eye contact with him, trying your best to focus on the slimy plants in front of you and not the fact that your best friend-slash-unrequited crush doubted your romantic potential. What a way to be humbled– and while covered in tuber juice, no less!
He huffed, running a hand through his already messy curls. “Come on, Y/n, it’s not like that. What did Sirius want to talk about in the Great Hall, anyway? You two looked… chummy.”
You glared down at the copper slicing board. “Well, it’s none of your business how chummy we are, is it? I don’t interrogate you every time you converse with Peter. In fact, it’s rather expected that Sirius and I speak to one another on occasion, considering the amount of time we all spend together thanks to you.”
You moved to grab another tuber from the jar, but James reached out and grabbed your hand, forcing you to look at him. His hazel eyes were alight with frustration, a look you knew by heart thanks to the hours you’d spent tutoring him in History of Magic after he napped his way through the entire first semester. “Are you serious? You’re actually going with someone?”
“Please, Jamie, do enlighten me on whyever you think I couldn’t possibly get a date with my numerous and diverse charms,” you sniffed, hoping to Merlin that he would just leave the entire subject alone.
“No, it’s–” he groaned, leaning back in his seat. “The other boys, they don’t know how– you’re so, I mean, just look at you!” he exclaimed, gesturing at you. He stopped, frowning to himself, looking more confused than before. He glanced over at Lily, expression becoming even more muddled, brow furrowed and hard to read to anyone but you.
Your mouth parted in shock, and to your dismay you felt tears bubbling up again. You blinked fiercely, refusing to let him see you cry. James thought the issue was… your looks? You suddenly wanted to crawl under Slughorn’s desk and never come out again, except perhaps to find a shovel to dig your grave with. This was far, far worse than watching him transfigure chocolates for Lily every Valentine’s Day. Now you knew for a fact he didn’t find you attractive– thought other boys didn’t either, even! And the way he’d clearly mentally compared you to Lily after what he’d admitted… well. There was no recovering from that. Teenage boys could be dense, but Merlin, how you had wanted him to at least let you down gently.
You wished you’d never opened your mouth to lie about having a stupid date in the first place, but you forced yourself to laugh and mutter something trite about how that could all be fixed with a couple glamour charms anyway so it really wasn’t an issue for the party, thank you very much. He looked even more confused, opening his mouth to respond, but Snape chose that moment to interrupt.
“Hey, Potter!” James turned to scowl at the greasy Slytherin as you thanked your lucky stars for Snape’s interruption (a rather disturbing thought– potentially a harbinger of an imminent apocalypse. You’d never thanked Snape before in your life and hoped to never do it again). “Here’s payback for earlier,” he smirked, checking that Slughorn had dozed off and the other students weren’t paying attention before whipping a mottled yellow bottle at James.
James’ carefully honed Quidditch reflexes kicked in and he quickly dodged the object, but as the vial soared up, up, past your carefully diced tubers, over James’ messy notes, it hit your arms and shattered. You flinched in pain, crying out as the glass shards embedded themselves in your arm and the congealing, repulsive liquid dripped down your hands and onto your thighs. James lunged towards you, but it was too late– the potion had already seeped into your skin, causing an awful sparking sensation.
You gasped, grabbing onto the desk as the feeling bubbled upwards. “Jamie, I don’t– I don’t feel–” you stuttered, suddenly lightheaded, and you heard someone gasp as you began to taste something metallic. You absently touched your nose. Why was it so cold and wet? You had been so careful not to touch your face around those horrid tubers and oh, oh Merlin and Morgana what was that pain in your hands and legs, please no make it go away someone help me help me HELP
You vaguely registered someone whimpering in the background. It might have been you, but you weren’t entirely sure what was happening outside of the electric symphony of agony crescending in your nervous system. The pain built swirled flooded through until you weren’t sure where you ended and the potion began which was a funny thought because of course you were you, but you couldn’t remember who you were before this so you laughed but that really hurt, oh how that hurt no no no no no bad idea–
“Fuck– no–” James? Was he here too?
You blinked– when did your eyes open?– and saw him reach for you, frantically pushing his dark curls off his forehead. Why would he do that? You loved his hair, even when you were feeling funny awful things from the potion. You felt his arms scoop under you, lifting you off your seat as he caught your head from falling back. You heard a door slam open, footsteps, darkness clouding your vision–
His voice. “Sweetheart, no– don’t do that, I need you to keep your eyes open.”
You blinked again, trying to focus on James’ face. He looked pale, jaw set and tensed like it was before his Quidditch games. Were you moving? You couldn’t tell whether James was walking or the hallways were walking around you. He glanced down again, exhaling with relief once he saw whatever he was looking for. “Yeah, just like that. Keep those pretty eyes focused on me, okay?”
He thought your eyes were pretty?
James gave a tight laugh. “Yeah, I think your eyes are pretty, dove. Hold on a bit longer, we’re almost there,” he choked out.
Oh. Had you said that out loud?
But you thought– he had said something, before, you couldn’t remember now but it was important and it hurt–
Some part of you, deep where the potion hadn’t reached, had melted at his words. That part was tinged with pain, too, but in a different way, raw and honest and hopeful and all for him. Or maybe that was the potion, you were pretty sure witches weren’t supposed to melt unless they were green and lived somewhere much further west, but your thoughts on the whole process evaporated as you reached a white door and a woman and your words started to swirl until they melted too and everything went black.
taglist: @magpiencrow @that-kid143 @itmustbegreattobecalledtheitgirl @lilly-aliyah @milivanili99 @stars-havefallen @spidergwnn @prongs-moon @joeytribbiani18 @yeahright0h @ronancebot @ropickle @regulusblacksposts @lovelywritersgarden @helloitsmeeeeeee @xobridgertonblues @azuredgalaxies
please comment if you'd like to be tagged for any of my works/fandoms in the future! :)
#james potter#james potter x y/n#james potter x reader#sirius black#bisexual sirius black#remus lupin#peter pettigrew#marlene mckinnon#dorcas meadowes#fem reader#fem!reader#best friends to lovers#marauders fic#marauders fanfiction#marauders x y/n#lily evans#harry potter#hp fandom
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So here's the thing about having a post break containment on tumblr: if you make a mistake in the original post, there's absolutely fucking nothing you can do about it.
The people reblogging once you realize your mistake aren't reblogging it from your blog. They're reblogging it from someone you never even knew existed. If you edit the original, it does not affect the copies already being passed around.
You can make an addition to the post with a correction! But here's the thing. Posts tend to break containment if they are tagged and people see it in the tags they follow. But reblogs don't appear in tags. Only original posts do. So your addition will only be reblogged by people who follow you, and it's pretty rare for a post with a correction added in a reblog to break containment in the same way as the original.
So you wind up getting a lot of reblogs with angry comments about how you're wrong (and that's if they're being polite - the less polite ones will attack you rather viciously, which is not something I would wish on anyone). And even if you didn't make a mistake, if there's something you didn't make clear enough for Tumblr Reading Comprehension™️, you'll wind up inundated with angry comments from people who missed the point, and it's too late to go back and adjust your wording to make it clearer.
(That's why I'm making a new post for this instead of responding to the comments I got on the post in question, by the way. I'm hoping some of the same people who spread around the original might spot this one in the tags and share it around as well.)
So what is this about? I recently made a post about how a friend was worried that I was addicted to my ADHD meds purely because I said I look forward to taking them and they bring me joy.
The purpose of that post was:
Something bringing you joy doesn't necessarily make it addictive. (For fuck's sake stop being afraid of pleasure.)
Even if something is addictive, that's not inherently harmful.
Don't be afraid to take your meds just because they might be addictive. If they help you more than they harm you, take them.
I also made a comment about how my ADHD meds aren't addictive anyway. This is the point people have been pouncing on me about. So allow me to explain where that assertion came from.
My psychiatrist, an ADHD specialist who manages my meds: I know you're nervous about addiction and tolerance to meds, but don't worry. If you have ADHD, methylphenidate is not physically addictive.
My GP, who I got a second opinion from out of nervousness: Yup, your psychiatrist is right. You don't need to be afraid to take these. Take them as directed and you will not form a physical dependence on them. If you notice them getting less effective with time, though, you can always just take a break from them to remove any tolerance.
Me, after a year and a half of taking these meds: Yup, no addiction here. I guess my doctors were right.
So here we are. Two doctors and my own personal experience have assured me that ADHD meds are not something to be afraid of. Yet I keep seeing people afraid to take their meds because they're afraid of dependence. So why don't I do a nice thing in this post of mine and reassure my fellow gremlin-brained tumblrs that their meds are perfectly safe to take!
And to be fair, I've gotten quite a few reblogs with tags and additions and comments saying thank you, I was afraid to take my meds, even though they help me, but now I'm reassured that I shouldn't be scared.
And I think that's a positive outcome.
On the other hand, I'm getting some very angry comments from some people who seem to think I'm attempting to spread a vicious, intentional lie claiming that people with ADHD are immune to stimulant addiction and that I'm going to do all kinds of harm, presumably on purpose, because there's nothing I enjoy more than ruining other people's lives! 🙌
I would assume that anyone who thought about this for more than three seconds would realize that's not the case, but this is tumblr.
I've gotten angry rants ranging from "this author you've never heard of wrote a book where he defined addiction as inherently harmful, and therefore you're harming people by saying being addicted to something is not inherently bad!" to "STOP SPREADING MISINFORMATION!!!" to "OP is making statements that are incompatible with reality!" and folks? I'm real fucking tired of it.
Is it possible that my doctors are wrong? Of course! Doctors get things wrong all the time, especially when it comes to stuff like ADHD! But yelling at me from across the internet and accusing me of lying is not helpful.
There is nothing I can do about the original post. I can reblog it with an addition clarifying that yes, everyone is capable of becoming psychologically dependent on basically anything in a way that would be considered addiction, and yes, that includes ADHD people and their meds.
To be clear, this does NOT contradict the intent of my original post: that ADHD meds are good, you should take them, medication making you feel good is nothing to fear, pleasure is not the same as addiction, addiction is not inherently dangerous, and according to my doctors, who are fallible human beings but my most trusted source of information as of the writing of that post, ADHD meds are not physically addictive - as in, your BODY will not become dependent on them to function. This is the definition of "addiction" I had in mind when I wrote that post - and I think in a lot of cases the thing upsetting people is that we don't even actually disagree on what we're trying to say, but there was a miscommunication in terms of what I actually meant.
If I could go back and edit that original post and have it change everywhere it's been reblogged, I absolutely would. I would clarify where my information was coming from and what definition of "addiction" I intended, and reiterate that even if something can cause physical dependence, that doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't take it.
But I can't. That post is out there now and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
Keep this in mind as you go forward in your tumblr journey, friends. If you come across a semi-popular post with a mistake in it, you can bet every bit of your ass that OP has heard about it many, many times already, probably in very impolite terms, and there is nothing they can do about the original post. Unless they're a massively popular blog, a reblog with an addition or correction will not be seen by the people spreading around the original.
And for fuck's sake, stop assuming ill intent on the part of people who say something incorrect online. There are people out there who intentionally spread misinformation, but those people are rare, and usually trying to get you to not vote democrat in US elections, not trying to encourage you to take your fucking meds. If you see a mistake, it's probably an honest one, and if you really want to correct it, be a decent fucking human being, be polite and kind, and try assuming good intentions on the part of the person who said it.
The person telling you to take your meds is not your fucking enemy.
Oh, and do me a favor and reblog this, please. I actually have very few followers so no one will see it if it doesn't get reblogged. Thank you.
#adhd#actually adhd#medication#ritalin#concerta#methylphenidate#addiction#misinformation#tumblr reading comprehension#stop being dicks to strangers online
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evbo meets a little friend!
alright you already know the drill, time for a yap session
his eyes are just rectangles (oblongs?) here since i wanted to incorporate that specific aspect of evbo's skin into the design. it also kinda serves to make him look more... animalistic? he's a bird, so i really like this look for him
the song i listened to while designing him was to the sky
another inspiration i had for this design was meteion since she's probably one of my favourite designs in ffxiv
he's somewhat based off a conure/hummingbird! their colours are similar at least and hummingbirds have incredible control over their flight so yeah, that's him
but if you asked me to pick between those two for like, an actual bird form, he'd be a hummingbird. again, because they're super agile but this is what i imagine what he sounds like when he snores
related to that: all of his colours were made warmer on purpose, really colourful birds usually come from tropical regions so this was a way to reflect that a little bit
no boots, just netherite scales on his legs and hands (claw? talons?) because i thought it would be cool. so these things can't be taken off, they're part of his body
the knee pads can though, those pop on and off like magnets
he can't actually fly, but he can glide and it helps with adjusting the trajectory of his jumps and it negates the need for water bucket clutches if he times his wingbeats right (so i guess this makes it closer to an elytra? it might be interesting if he figured out how to use fireworks)
instead of having tail feathers coming off his body, i thought it would be a cooler visual to have his headband become his tail. so... that's' another thing he can't take off his body now!
the things he can take off are his hoodie and pants
pants are worn as usual, but the hoodie has a giant hole in the back for him to slip into so he doesn't have to pull things over his wings
speaking of his tail feathers, they're based off peacock feathers since he's kind of a show of lmao, the 'eyes' on them are a nod to him being the parkour god since i did something similar for acg's design with his head wing, evbo's markings are pretty much just that. markings, so he can't see through them or anything
not visible because it's being covered up, his chest is fluffy! i just think it would be cute and i'll take literally any excuse to add more fluff to a character because it brings me that much joy
also this is the first iteration i had of bird evbo's design, look at this little guy
the green highlights were cool here, but they kinda just ended up blending in with the rest of his hoodie/body so i decided not to do that
i made him fuzzier in the full piece too because i can
his ears were changed to be wings since these ones were too similar to my previous evbo design
headband tail feathers have been part of the vision since the start, but these ones here were pretty much just slapped on without too much thought about what they actually look like
now i don't usually share unfinished work on its own but these two have been sitting in my drafts for weeks now so... here's another little guy!
can you tell that i really enjoy making designs of him?
anyway, since summit evbo's still a draft at this point, i won't say much about him since he'll have his own post eventually
but i do want to say that i consider him and bird evbo as a duo of sorts since they're kinda opposites in terms of design
#parkour civilization#minecraft#evbo#i love drawing wings#yeah my other evbo design has a name too it's 'mythic'#originally i thought maybe hermes since that's what his boots were based off but like#that's an actual name and the other two don't have an additional name so mythic it is#do you think emf helps him preen because i sure do#so let me tell you about the power of what the incredible urge to create things can do to a person when their main hand is being weird#i did this entire thing with my non-drawing hand because i was going insane I HAD TO MAKE SOMETHING I JUST HAD TO#err the piece at the top that is#both of the drafts were made way before... whatever happened to me#idk if or when i'll make a post about it here#but i may have written something that's out there now so i'm just#look the situation was dire okay my hand hurt and i had to make something#if you're here reading tags hiiii don't worry about it#i'm okay i think#much better than when my arm first started hurting anyway#there are way better things to do than sink into despair#like create things in ways that you don't usually consider#i dunno what will work for you personally#but you have to live#anyway don't ask me what kind of hummingbird that is i literally don't know SKJDHF ASJDHASHJ
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Now that the Ithaca saga is out, here are some of my fave things from the musical:
In no order, just as I thought of them.
1. Different beast: “we are the ones who feast now.”
I think you mean feasted ON. Cause guess what songs next? Oh look! Scylla! Who feasts on them!
(I love it sm I laugh everytime they say that line.)
2. What? Saga.
All the “HUH? WHAT? WHO? WHERE??” From ody always is so funny, especially those compilations on tiktok for it lol.
3.ody being this really smart man but so fucking dumb at the same time (ties to the last one)
No longer you is SO GOOS. And I love hearing his confusion while (I forgot his name but the guy who sings mainly in that song) like this poor man is just trying to explain it over and over and ody is NOT CATCHING THE HINT.
4. eurylochus singing like a girl.
Just- the concept that he is mimicking circie in that part brings me so much joy holy. Just the
“A woman.” “What??” “She had us in just two words… (activate girl voice) COME INSIDE—“
5. Scylla.
No other words, just Scylla. Best song untill the newest saga but still top three.
6. Circie.
Again. Litterally all her songs are INCREDIBLE. I remember watching gigis concept animatic for the like leaked bits and LOVING IT SO MUCH. Like gigis design is SO GOOD FOR EVERYONE BUT IT ESPECIALLY EATS WITH HER.
7. JUST A MAN MOTIF.
I don’t have to say anything. Just— it’s so good.
Infact all the motifs are TOP TIER.
8. I saw someone point out once that as Athena got to know ody more that she started not just doing straight notes and riffing and stuff. Like-
DAMN THATS SO COOL.
9. All the animatics. Like DAMN YOU GUYS ARE QUICK SND SO TALENTED!!!
10. Jorge himself, everything he has done for the fans, being the incredible man he is and incredible writer and singer. He is just such an incredible person, such a talented artist in general. He genuinely deserves all the fame he has and SO MUCH MORE. Ik that all the time I recomend this musical to everyone and their mothers. Genuinely I think I’ve gotten atleast four people into the musical.
11. Time paused. Athena’s time ability is SO COOL. Honestly Athena’s songs have always been some of my faves, my goodbye and warrior of the mind were ones I listened to on repeat when they first came out, and I still do! I love little wolf SO MUCH. Like seeing her so much in the wisdom saga after being missing was so incredible. Genuinely one of my fave characters.
12. How well emotions are convayed. I mean it’s insane how well the actors portray each emotion from the characters, such as telemecus in Odysseus, or in little wolf etc. it’s SO cool.
13. Open arms.
The motif of polities is INCREDIBLE. The poor vas character died so early yet was NEVER given a break. I think I saw he’s in so many of the songs like damm.
Especially in Odysseus with that one suitor saying “open arms”
Anyway more later. Love you guys.
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What an idiot - I meant to post this to my blog, not in the community!
One thing I love about TVL book club is how afterwards your mind continues to think about things in a new way, sparked by the fascinating conversation. Now, I am aware I can overthink myself into madness. But that said...
I was thinking about Marius-Lestat-Armand...
And about how Marius immediately (well... not quite immediately, but... comparatively so) comes to Lestat's rescue, soon after he goes into The Earth, whereas he abandons Armand for centuries... It is a thing I always found hard to forgive Marius for.
But thinking on it makes me wonder whether some of leaving Armand to his own devices might not be in love for him? (If we can call the twisted thing Marius is to Armand truly love??)
Anyway, first of all, Marius clearly does see some of his self in Lestat. Secondly, had Marius not rescued Lestat at this point, Lestat may actually have died (???) he was such a young vampire to go into The Earth, that would he have ever been able to rise again without some being saving him?
But at the same time... Marius literally pulls Lestat from The Earth. He can read Lestat's thoughts, so he very well knows the level of grief and despair and aloneness and existential crisis and loss that led Lestat to Go Into The Earth. But what does Marius do? Yes, he takes him home and gives him knowledge, as curious Lestat has been requesting... but also, he shows him Those Who Must Be Kept with no warning to Lestat about what he is about to be confronted by; with zero prior explanation... and when Lestat is indeed horrified and desperate to escape, Marius forces him to stay and to greet Those Who Must Be Kept more fully and more personally/intimately and reverently; almost as if knowing he once stirred Akasha, he may hope his mini-me (as he perceives Lestat) might do similarly?
Maybe Marius is desperate by this point? None of us can truly imagine existing for 1800 years, let alone caring for the sentient but unresponsive beings that are Those Who Must Be Kept for all of that time, and the challenge/burden of that. And maybe Marius is so accustomed to them that he cannot himself comprehend the full horror of them. Maybe in seeing himself in Lestat e forgets that Lestat at this time has still only existed for 30 mortal years - not as long as Marius had when he was first made a vampire?
But anyway - Armand. What would it have done to Armand's mind to see Those Who Must Be Kept. Armand has a very different mind to Lestat and Maruis (and I do not believe Lestat and Marius are as alike as Marius would like to believe, or would like Lestat to believe either, but that aside...). I was thinking how to Know Those Who Must Be Kept might have driven Armand to a scenario like in Memnoch The Devil, potentially. And so, perhaps in part, keeping Armand away from that *was* a protection. Not all minds can bear the vast *unknowing* that is what Those Who Must Be Kept are. Lestat is always questioning until he reaches the level of existential crisis and even he can barely cope.
I'm not sure exactly what I'm asking/saying here. It's as simple as that really I guess - in staying away from Armand, is Marius in part actually trying to protect him? In bringing Lestat to see Those Who Must Be Kept, is Marius in part actually not doing Lestat a kindness, but rather doing damage - either as he simply sees himself too much in Lestat or as he doesn't personally know Lestat yet, so he can be curious about him without worrying about him as he must one he already loves?
I have MANY confused thoughts on Marius. Including how he likes to portray himself as a lover of humans as Lestat does... yet even as a mortal he doesn't actually talk about any love in his life, or anyone loving him or being close emotionally to anyone. Rather he gets joy from intellectually observing humans and collecting interesting people who he keeps at arm's length... That couldn't be less Lestat. And Lestat loves that Marius is A Immortal Man... yet, actually this is way less human than vampires Lestat has been around - it's a way less human position than Armand or Nicki, really - no? Where he currently resides, the way he is connected to the humans there is that they think Marius A God. That's not in any way existing amid society in how Lestat desires.
And yet, Marius is SO old, could he be another way?
I also wonder, with the themes in Rolin's adaption of IWTV, the ways they could like Marius being born at literally the start of Western Civilisation with the fact that had Events at that time gone differently, Civilisation as we know it would literally have been ENTIRELY different than it is now. It would be so interesting, I feel if they could. Though I cannot quite think how they could do it.
HMM... I started on Is Marius actually trying to protect Armand by staying away from him and ended on Let's think about how The Entire Centre of Modern Civilisation would be utterly different if things had been different in Marius' mortal days....
And it isn't even 8am yet on a Monday morning... hahahahahaha!
Well... NOW it is 7am on Wednesday and you can tell HOW TIRED I AM AT THIS POINT IN THE YEAR in that it took me 48 hours to even notice I posted this in the wrong place.
When can I go into The Earth and simply sleep. Rest. ????? *shame bell*
#Marius de romanus#interview with the vampire#anne rice#amc interview with the vampire#lestat de lioncourt#the vampire lestat#amc iwtv#iwtv amc#iwtv lestat#the vampire armand
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crazy update wow jade died n the point just got blown to smithereens or whatever but DELTRITUS KID SPOTTED!!!! WOO FINALLY
And though I feel like it's pretty obvious since this doesn't look like a race / species we've seen in the comic and everything in the text would suggest these are the species' Dirk and Rose have been creating, it's confirmed by the (==>) (symbol for events taking place in the black hole) changing to a ==> (symbol for events taking place outside the black hole) meaning that the panel above is from the Meat timeline!!! Joy!!
Time to talk about what piques my interest with this anonymous critter here; Starting first with their quirk.
o-------* < this thing they keep typing right here, as I gleaned from the last sentence, is implied to represent a bomb. With 'o' as the bomb itself, '-------' as the wire / rope and '*' as the spark. The quirk itself certainly suits the situation pretty well considering the latest developments in the Candy timeline, though in a way I'm not really sure how to word or put together.
You've got this laser hitting a point of highly concentrated narrative energy - which I'm guessing is the symbolic "bomb" in this sequence, which makes the "spark" the laser, but the thing that gets set on fire and slowly burns up is the curtains, and, in turn, leads to the o-------* bomb in GC's text also setting off?
Anyway whatever. Another point on explosives here is that this kid seems to be awfully fond of those "volatile materials" as they say such themselves; and also because when the quirk stops counting down their computer blows up. Which to me would suggest they've either got plenty of bombs in (what I'm assuming is) their home or are just experiencing really explosive weather. Though they do hint at devastating explosions at the beginning of the log, in a way that makes them seem super aware of what's about to happen, so I've no idea what to make of that.
And regarding explosive weather; my first assumption about the o-------* was that it was supposed to be a meteor (o) and a portal (*), and the ------- shortening represented it falling from the sky. Though I quickly realised that it didn't make much sense, the idea still sticks with me a little, since the placement (space) and use of the laser to clear out the surroundings reminded me of sburb's meteors.
There's also another lead on the bomb situation though thanks to GC clarifying their interest in explosives as "a real addiction" to a Vriska of all people because it brings to mind 8-balls, and from that, it's explosive, just as circular cousin, the cue ball.
Though I'm not suggesting that the explosives GC is interested in are cue balls; as I don't think they are, I do think it is interesting that they bring up oracles (especially after the o-* symbol runs out), as it's a word that has been used to describe cue balls before.
And whilst on the topic of oracles - it's 'AA' that's referred to as 'like' one, and even used to replace the 'o' in GC's quirk for a joke.
Pretty weird that this AA kid is used as a substitute for the bomb here. Most I think it'd be suggesting is that they've got some kind of unmentioned advantage similar to the cue ball thanks to divine intervention (Dirk or Rose fucking around, or perhaps Terezi).
Thankfully GC goes into detail about this AA kid, and gives a brief mention of a TC, all of which I'll be talking about next.
The first thing that comes to mind regarding these pals is that, similarly to Vrissy, this mystery friend group also uses the 12 (or so, since we currently don't know how many participating kids we have here) chumhandle acronyms that the beta trolls used. Which, in turn means it wouldn't be all that wrong to think they're associated with whatever beta troll they share the acronym with in some way.
If there's anything to be taken from this right now (which seems to be quite little, since we've only got 3 and we don't even know what the other kid's stand for) I'd say it's just pretty funny and kind of cute that the kids using Vriska and Terezi's acronyms are friends.
And now about my general observations on these kids:
GC. From what we've got so far it seems like they're a pretty negative person, in the way that they (rightfully?) assume the worst of most situations but are easily pressured into / out of them. They also REALLY like Vrissy, or at enough so that AA mentions her joining them in sburb as a bargaining point to get them to play too. Though the way they not-so-subtly beg Vrissy to join them and the outright confession of their lack of friends would also suggest that they're just lonely and awkward and may not be too close with the friends (?) they say they're playing it with.
AA, mysterious as they are right now still gets a lot of description on behalf of GC. One thing that stuck with me though is the way they call her 'an oracle', backtrack and say she isn't really, and then instead insist that she's something else, magical in a way that they don't understand but believe. (hope player much????)
Most of GC's descriptions make her sound pushy, overbearing and a little too knowledgeable on the circumstances at hand. "If it's one thing she gonna do it's bug or fuss or meddle" might not be the most reliable description to go off since it's told from the biased POV of one frustrated kid aware the game their friends want them to play is going to kill them. And it's probably not helping that the friend insisting you play is also the one informing you it'll kill you, if the way GC admits they 'know it will' and immediately prompts a conversation about AA's habits is anything to go by.
TC only gets about one line of note worthy information and it's when GC refers to sburb as "TC's game" which implies they were the one who's adapted it / helped develop it similar to what Sollux did for Sgrub. Nothing about TC themselves is brought up besides that they're friends with AA and GC (obviously).
Lastly I want to bring up the question of what species this kid is. Bare minimum to go off here but the hands don't really look aquatic or mammalian, more reptilian than anything. The GC makes me think of Terezi, too, so my first assumption is perhaps some sort of dragon? If so would Terezi have a hand in making some of these things, or would Rose have made it?? This is just vague silly guesses but whatever. The o-------* could also simultaneously function as a bomb and dream bubble who knows. Horrorterrors, Satyrs, Dragons, Nymphs whatever man. I gotta know
That's all I can think of for now. I'm already so fascinated with this singular kid and whatever the hell kinda social circle they've got going on so if they psyche out again and throw the focus someplace else for another 500 pages I'm gonna bawl
#homestuck 2#beyond canon#upd8 spoilers#gavageCunctation#I joke about AA being a hope player here but also worth mentioning GC really comes across as a doom player too#Though both of those observations are obvious as hell.#Can't wait to see them....#hs analysis#I er uh guess#ramblings#Serious HS Stuff
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Richie as Director Avatar and Taylor Swift
I was talking with @thoughtfulchaos773 earlier today and something occurred to me about Richie singing Love Story in Forks. There has been a lot of really wonderful meta lately touching on Richie's role in the show. There's @currymanganese's excellent point that Richie is Storer's avatar as well as all of @thoughtfulchaos773's posts about Filmmaking and Season 3/Richie as Director (Part 1 / Part 2).
Anyway, previously I hadn't thought much about Love Story being the Taylor Swift song that they had Richie sing. It's well known, it's a song that would make sense that his young daughter would gravitate towards and would have exposed him to. There's a purity and joy to it that fits with the earnestness he gains in his journey throughout the action of Forks. However, with the context of all of the other great meta out there, it occurred to me that if we think of Richie as Director and Observer of Carmy's Love Life (as thoughtfulchaos773 called him in Filmmaking Meta Part 1), the choice of Love Story as the song is a LOT more significant. Richie is telling viewers what the story of The Bear is...it's a love story. And it's a love story with Sydney as opposed to the horror/haunting story that's being laid out with Claire (here and here and probably others I'm not finding right now).
I've also been trying to make sense of the use of Long Live, which plays in the background of the conversation that Richie has with Frank in Violet. I was expecting to get another Taylor Swift song in Season 3, but all of the guesses I had made were more directly tied to Richie's plot and story (This is Me Trying was my main prediction). So I was very surprised that the song they picked was Long Live. But in considering Richie as Director Surrogate, this choice starts to make a lot of sense.
I don't think the choice of song is trying to say anything about Richie and Tiff's relationship, or Richie getting over her, or his maturity in handling the conversation with Frank. Long Live is a song that Taylor Swift wrote for her band, in celebration of her first headlining tour (for Fearless). In our chat, @thoughtfulchaos773 suggested that Long Live is a reference to Richie's looking back and reflecting at The Beef (and contrasting the experience of working at The Beef with the experience of working at The Bear) and hoping that sense of comradery and joy is able to be found at The Bear eventually -- and I think that makes a lot of sense.
I said remember this feeling I passed the pictures around Of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines Wishing for right now We are the kings and the queens You traded your baseball cap for a crown When they gave us our trophies And we held them up for our town And the cynics were outraged Screaming, "This is absurd" 'Cause for a moment, a band of thieves In ripped up jeans got to rule the world
There are a couple of other things that stand out to me in the song:
I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made" And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid
Magic and sleight-of-hand are themes that come up in Season 3, and it may be because I have Unreasonable Hospitality on the brain, but it is important to Richie, who lists the dream weave as one of his non-negotiables. Will Guidara writes in UH that for a while at Eleven Madison Park, they used a literal magic trick to reveal dessert to guests during one of their courses. And EMP also employed an entire team of Dreamweavers whose sole responsibility was to make hospitality personal and special for their guests (seen in Season 3 in the scene with the Surprise with the cake and Richie singing happy birthday in Spanish). I don't necessarily think they picked the song to make this reference but there is a through line there, even if unintended -- and I do think that, dropped fork notwithstanding, Richie's journey towards Unreasonable Hospitality genuinely has become his purpose.
The second thing that stands out to me, which might well be more of an intentional reference, comes from the last verse (which plays as Richie asks Frank about how he got his house):
Will you take a moment? Promise me this That you'll stand by me forever But if, God forbid, fate should step in And force us into a goodbye If you have children someday When they point to the pictures Please tell them my name Tell them how the crowds went wild Tell them how I hope they shine
I am reminded of this very excellent meta of @currymanganese's which posits the name of the restaurant Fairest Creatures alludes to one of Shakespeare's procreation sonnets. I think this verse alludes to (or directs our attention towards):
Season 3's theme of legacy
The hope of reconciliation between Richie and Carmy
An allusion to Carmy's future children and sharing the legacy of The Beef/The Bear with them
#sydcarmy#the bear season 3#richie#richie as director surrogate#music in the bear#the bear music#taylor swift in the bear#richie is a swiftie#this may just be my ND brain making all sorts of weird connections#which happens#cue me trying to puzzle out what TS song will come in season 4 at Richie's behest
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hey i hope you're doing fine <3 i just wanted to drop by and scream over the recent WHTD chapter, you blew me away with the perfectly written gut wrenching yearning like i. was. on. the. floor. yohan literally being unable to ignore a distressed gaon even tho he is literally dying himself we love to see it!! and gaon with the hoodie??? oh my sweet boy, i feel bad for you (even tho you bought this upon yourself lol) anyways i can't wait to see where we go from here, i can't express enough just how excited i am for their journey...
while we're on that topic, i was recently re-reading 'it is mine to avenge' and as we know, they are established in that fic and it got me so curious on how that happened like what led to that first kiss and who initiated it? would you be so kind to entertain me cuz i cannot stop thinking ab it lol (also im going to absolutely lose it when they finally kiss in WHTD like im scared for myself)
ok i'll shut up now, thank you for your beautiful stories they bring me so much comfort and joy, you and your works are so so loved so thank you <33 i hope you're feeling better now and please take care of yourself!! <3
I'm so glad you enjoyed the latest chapter! That last scene with Ga On and Yo Han was so very heartbreaking to write because they both yearn so incredibly much but have their reasons for trying to hold back. And it has reached the point where not even Yo Han is in full control anymore, his desire to help and protect Ga On overruling his iron will. I think that says a lot.
And yeah, the hoodie scene made me feel bad for Ga On but also made me want to shake my head at him. Ga On, my sweet baby deer — you are a disaster.
But a disaster I adore, so he's got that going for him, at least.
I hope the rest of the journey will be enjoyable as well! The coming chapters are going to be full of scenes I've been dying to write for ages — and I mean that literally since I've been writing this fic for three years now. Hopefully, you will find them as exciting as I do!
As for It Is Mine to Avenge, it was Ga On who initiated their first kiss, which Yo Han points out in the story itself:
"And Yo Han knew — had known, from the very first time Ga On had kissed him, bold and unafraid — that he would never find that anywhere else."
Aside from that, the only detail I've decided on is that they didn't get together until after the drama. But I can't say if it was days, weeks, or months after. Or exactly what the scene looked like. Mainly because it wasn't relevant to the main story and, in some ways, I want to leave it as open as possible for my readers to decide for themselves.
I mean, some might even want to put It Is Mine to Avenge in the same universe as Who Holds the Devil, which is totally fine by me.
Like, we're not even at the one-year mark after the drama in Who Holds the Devil and It Is Mine to Avenge is set two years after Yo Han faked his death. So it's possible 😉 And Yo Han never mentions exactly what it is that Ga On does to bring change and fight for equality. It could be the Justice Project. But it could also be something else entirely. It's your choice!
... and I guess that means I just spoiled who will kiss who first in Who Holds the Devil but I think that's pretty obvious by now considering Yo Han's desire to be chosen. He's not going to be the one to kiss Ga On because he wants Ga On to pick him and show how much he wants to be with him — even if it means Yo Han is going to be waiting for a while still.
(Also: No, I'm not saying that It Is Mine to Avenge and Who Holds the Devil are in the same universe, but I'm not going to stop anyone from having that as their headcanon)
So yeah! I've intentionally left things vague in It Is Mine to Avenge because I didn't want to ruin anyone's theories. Which I guess is the boring answer since you wanted to be entertained? Sorry about that 😂
I know I say I have a plan for almost everything and that's still true, it just so happens that my plan this time was to not have an answer because I thought it would be more interesting for people to come up with their own theories and ideas.
So, really, a better question would be what YOU think led to that first kiss 😉
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I admit I really need them right now because things are, unfortunately, not getting any better. I still haven't recovered from my burnout but there's a risk I have to go back to working full-time anyway because of bureaucracy. And I'm kind of scared of what that will do to my overall health, both mental and physical. And having to deal with that anxiety is exhausting all on its own, never mind the strain of working full-time.
Plus, my former stepdad (my mum and he broke up about two years ago but were together for twenty years so he's been there for more than half of my life) is in the hospital with sepsis. They found bacteria in his heart and he's currently getting antibiotics every sixth hour in an attempt to keep it from killing him 🙃
So, uh, life is kind of shit? I've barely had time to deal with the previous loss and now I'm terrified I'll be hit with another.
(It probably won't happen since he's being carefully monitored and he sounds surprisingly cheerful for someone who's going to be pumped full of antibiotics for four weeks straight, but yeah. Tell that to my brain)
So thank you, truly, for caring about me and for all the kindness. It means a lot to me 💜
#Amethystina Replies#jyrkive#Shit just keeps piling up doesn't it?#And I haven't even mentioned all of the stuff that's been happening lately#Because I'm beginning to feel like my life is ridiculously dramatic#Like#Why does this keep happening?#Does this sound like a reasonable amount of tragedy to you?#Because it doesn't to me#Enough with the tragedies#I would like it to stop now please#But yeah#I'm hanging in there#As per usual#Not much else I CAN do#But things are slow I will admit#Writing takes ages#Drawing is easier#But my mind is definitely elsewhere a lot of the time#I think I need an emotional outlet#Like do some really ugly crying or something#Time to listen to One More Light again I guess#That one always gets me
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[3:45 AM] stars . . .
bf!doyoung x gn!reader
genre: fluff, established relationship,
warnings: none other than it's not really proofread!
a.n. first post oh em gee kinda nervousss! i don't see a lot of 127 fluff on here anymore so i guess i gotta do it myself 😒/hj. requests are open and feedback is always appreciated! i hope you enjoy <3 happy halloween btw 🙏🏾
doyoung never knew what love was supposed to feel like until he met you.
you were like a breath of fresh air in his life. taking his normal, mundane tasks like going grocery shopping and transforming them into something more thrilling, or making him experience new things that he would never do on his own. you had made his daily routine into something new, something beautiful.
he will always love learning more about you no matter how long you have been together; your hobbies, your favorite places, and what your favorite shows are. everything about you intrigues him and compels him to familiarize himself more and more with everything you consider to be part of yourself — past and present.
he will always listen to what you have to say, holding onto every word. even the little things that you thought never mattered or were worth remembering yourself, he remembers. he remembers the names that you had wanted to name your pet years ago, the way you don't care for certain holidays like valentine's day (he will always still make the effort to show that he loves you on these days anyway; bringing you flowers and cooking your favorite dishes so you have something to look forward to, even on the days you typically hadn't expected to before.), and the books you said you wanted to read but never got the chance to purchase. he notices when your gaze lingers on an item for too long when you're out shopping together, making a note to himself to come back and buy it for you for a special occasion coming up.
one night while the two of you were lying on the couch, you mentioned that you had always loved going stargazing when you were younger after seeing the two main characters of the movie you're watching sitting under the stars, sharing their dreams.
doyoung had made a mental note of this former interest of yours, which led the two of you to where you are right now: sitting on a soft blanket and staring at the warm night sky. you were seated in front of him, resting your back on his chest with your head on his shoulder, enthusiastically guiding his vision to all of the constellations and stars you could remember as you pointed them out the best you could.
“...that's the big dipper, but if you look closer you'll see that it's part of a constellation called the great bear," you point to the left, tracing out the pattern with your finger. "not many people know that the big dipper isn't considered a constellation." you explain softly, never taking your eyes off of the view.
doyoung doesn't mean to get distracted from your explanation, but he can't help it when you look so excited. reliving your childhood with the stars above brings you so much joy that a smile makes its way onto your face as you share your knowledge with him. he admires your beauty as you talk about the things you're passionate about, trying to etch the sight of you into his memory forever. looking at you is something that he will never get tired of. the soft curve of your lips, the way your lashes cast shadows onto your face, the beauty marks that adorn your complexion.
you start to talk again until you feel his eyes gazing at you instead of the stars above. you turn to him, momentarily dazed by the amount of fondness that you can see in his eyes as he looks down at you. you smile softly, “what? why are you looking at me like that?”
doyoung smiles back, “no reason. i'm just happy.” he can tell you're not exactly pleased with his answer if the way that you raise your eyebrow at him is anything to go by.
"'just happy?' i need you to elaborate a little more, doyoung." you tease, nudging him, and glance back up at the sky.
he rolls his eyes with a smile still gracing his features, holding you closer, "i just really love being with you, hearing you talk about the things that you love, that's all." you turn to him again. you can hear the sincerity in his voice and see it in his eyes and it makes your heart melt. you're too flustered by the love you can almost see and feel exuding from him to say anything back, so you decide to continue looking at the view ahead of you instead, tracing patterns on the back of his hand.
there's a short silence until you finally break it, staring up at the sky, "i love you." you tell him, leaning your head onto his shoulder once again.
he knows that you love him. you show it every single day in the way that you make time for him and the way that you've let him become a part of your life in a way that no one else has, letting him see parts of yourself that no one else could.
"i love you too. so much." he replies, kissing the crown of your head and rubbing your waist with his thumbs.
he always thinks to himself that even if he were dealt a different set of cards in his life, the stars would always align to give him the grace of being here with you. and he's more than certain that no matter what those cards looked like, there's no way he could love you any more than he does now.
doyoung knows that no amount of words or physical affection could ever be enough to express the love he feels for you. but for now, you just being there with him, letting him hold you, this will suffice just fine.
#.rowan's library#.rowan's doyoung stories#.rowan's nct collection#nct fluff#nct imagines#nct reactions#nct x reader#nct 127 fluff#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 reactions#nct 127 x reader#doyoung fluff#doyoung imagines#doyoung x reader#kim doyoung fluff#kpop fluff#kpop imagines#kpop reactions#kpop x reader#kpop fanfic#sorry i didn't know how to end it 😭
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