#anyway fuck that creepy puppet

[dathen]

SO UHHHHHHHHHH anyone else think that the Instrumentalist-impersonator that has been mutilating the bodies is Voltaire??

[tipsynight0]

The kindling

Parings - Jeff the killer x female reader

Word count- 1.1k

Trigger warnings - murder, kidnapping, fire, typical creepy pasta shit.

Summary - Jeff makes a bond fire.

Author's Note:

I swear I'll update Puppet Master once I figure out where it's headed. No idea where this came from, but I guess I just missed Jeff a little too much. Anyway, enjoy, and don’t forget to bring a marshmallow!

The sky groaned with thunder, fat raindrops pelting the earth like bullets. The ground was nothing but thick, soupy mud that sucked at Jeff’s combat boots with every step. A cigarette hung from his lips, the smoke curling around his face, instantly doused by the relentless downpour. His white sweatshirt clung to his chest, the fabric soaked and dirt-streaked, while his black hair stuck in wet clumps to his forehead, water trickling down his face like tears he’d never shed.

To him, this wasn’t a struggle—it was catharsis. Another task to be done. Another problem to erase. He dragged the unconscious man behind him through the mud, his grip like a vice around the man's collar, the man’s face scraping against roots and jagged stones. The man stirred, a faint groan escaping his lips.

Jeff didn’t slow down, didn’t even acknowledge the muffled whimpers as consciousness seeped back in.

The cemetery gates creaked in the wind, iron and rust moaning as Jeff pushed through. The trees here were ancient, twisted things that loomed over the tombstones like hunched sentinels. Fog pooled around the ground, swirling around Jeff’s feet like hungry ghosts. His eyes, cold and calculating, scanned the gravestones until he saw her—a shadow just beyond the nearest mausoleum.

A crooked, wolfish grin stretched his lips, and he dropped the man with a sickening thud, turning to face his captive.

Brandon was awake now, his face streaked with blood from a split lip, eyes wild with terror. He tried to push himself up, but his hands sank into the mud, slippery and useless. Jeff loomed over him, his imposing height casting a warped shadow on the wet ground.

“You’re up,” Jeff drawled, his voice low and unhurried. He took another drag from his cigarette, the embers burning bright in the darkness. Then, without warning, he snatched a shovel propped against a gravestone and slammed it into Brandon’s chest. Brandon yelped, clutching at the handle as Jeff leaned down, eyes narrowed.

“Dig,” Jeff ordered, pointing to the patch of untouched dirt behind him.

Brandon’s lips quivered. “W-what? No… please, I don’t—”

Jeff crouched down, his elbows resting on his knees, the cigarette dangling precariously from his lips. “I wasn’t fucking asking,” he whispered, voice like gravel. “Dig the hole, or I’ll make you one.”

Brandon scrambled to his feet, hands trembling as he stabbed the shovel into the ground. He dug clumsily, dirt flying and splattering against his legs. Jeff didn’t take his eyes off him, barely reacting when he heard soft footsteps approaching from behind.

He turned his head slightly, just enough to see her—(y/n)—standing at the edge of the cemetery, clutching a bag, eyes wide with confusion. She hadn’t seen him like this before. The primal, feral version of him. The version that didn’t care about morals or consequences.

“Jeff?” she called out, voice barely more than a whisper. “What are you doing?”

Brandon froze, desperate, turning to look at her. “Please, help me! I don’t know him—he’s crazy! Just—call the cops, please—”

A swift kick to the back of the knees sent Brandon collapsing to the ground, Jeff standing over him like a vengeful god. “Did I fucking tell you to stop?” he hissed. Brandon whimpered, his hands digging frantically at the dirt.

(y/n) took a hesitant step forward, clutching the bag tighter. “Jeff, I—I brought what you asked for, but… why do you need lighter fluid? Matches? What’s going on?”

Jeff’s attention flicked to her, his grin widening. “You got me everything?” He grabbed the bag, rifling through it before grunting in approval. “Good girl.”

“Jeff,” (y/n) stammered, her voice trembling. “What’s happening? Why is he digging? Why does he—”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer, his breath warm against her ear despite the chill. “You’ll see,” he whispered, his tone both reassuring and suffocating. “Just sit. Trust me.”

She stumbled as he led her to a moss-covered bench, his hand heavy on her shoulder. The air was thick with rot and damp earth, the scent creeping into her lungs and making it hard to breathe.

Brandon had managed to carve out a shallow pit, gasping for air, his knuckles bleeding from where he’d hit rocks. He looked up, his face streaked with rain and mud. “I—I’m done,” he choked out. “Please—”

Jeff squatted beside the hole, inspecting it with a disapproving glare. “Pathetic. But good enough.” He pulled the lighter fluid from the bag, biting off the cap and spitting it into the grave. “Remember that night at the gas station?” Jeff’s voice was almost conversational. “When you thought no one saw you feeling up that girl behind the register?”

Brandon’s face went pale. “N-no—I didn’t—”

“That was my girl,” Jeff interrupted, his eyes darkening. He pointed to (y/n), who was frozen on the bench, the gravity of the situation sinking in. “You touched her.”

In a fluid motion, Jeff doused Brandon with the lighter fluid, ignoring his screams. (y/n) lurched forward, sobbing, reaching out. “Jeff, stop! Please, no!”

He caught her wrist mid-air, yanking her back with a force that rattled her bones. “Stay put,” he murmured, kissing the side of her head as if to soothe her. “I’m teaching him a lesson.”

Brandon was pleading now, his voice shredded by terror. Jeff struck a match, holding it between his fingers. “You really shouldn’t have touched what’s mine,” he muttered, letting the flame fall.

The fire engulfed Brandon instantly, the smell of burning flesh sickening. (y/n) screamed, knees buckling as she covered her mouth, eyes wide and glossy with tears. Jeff approached her, dragging her to her feet, ignoring her frantic attempts to pull away.

“See what I’d do for you?” His voice softened, his hands cupping her face. “That first night we smoked together—I knew it. You’re mine. I don’t care how long it takes for you to get it, but you will. And anyone who tries to take you from me?” He glanced at the burning pit. “They’ll end up just like him.”

(y/n) was trembling violently, her breath coming in short, choked bursts. “I’m going to jail. Oh god—I’m going to—”

He pulled her against his chest, petting her hair as if consoling a frightened child. “No, doll. You’re not going anywhere. I’ll protect you. No one’s ever going to touch you again. Now… help me bury him.”

[rekino2114]

Sooo I've had a Kanade ask that keeps rattling around in my head. Imagine being a male reader who's a friend of Hibiki, which automatically makes him on Kanades' kill list. The thing is, hr witnessed one the moments where when hibiki is weak, kanade takes charge and after that reader us basically smitten with our beloved yandere, unbeknownst to her. Which leads him to hang around and basically poke the sleeping bear until she snaps at him, and the reader absolutely LOVES it. And he loves gushing to hibiki about how adorable kanade is and how you love her rude side. After some time, kanade plans to just put right kill you until she finds out via Hibiki complaining to her that you have a massive crush on kanade and how she's sick of hearing about it and thst she should just go out with the reader already. So kanade does go out with them thinking she can just break their heart and mind so they'll fuck off, what she doesn't expect is to fall absolutely head overhels in love with the M. Reader, now guess what m. Reader now belongs to her forever and ever. Best part is that she doesn't have to break him to make him stay since he's down bad for her.

Kanade with a boyfriend who's hibiki's friend

Ever since becoming friends with hibiki you noticed how.....peculiar her sister was, she seemed nice if a little shy but you couldn't help but notice the weird looks whe gave you and how she always clinged to hibiki whenever you hung out, it's like she disliked you or more accurately she disliked the fact that you were close to hibiki

Meanwhile, kanade was already thinking about which way to kill you, not immediately, of course, she needed you to get even closer to her sister for this to work just right. It was a bit of a shame. You were kinda cute, kanade's exact type in men, in fact, but she couldn't let you live anyway so that didn't matter

You continued hanging out with hibiki rarely seeing kanade, except one time when you went to their house to give hibiki something she forgot and took a peek in their room

You saw hibiki in her "puppet state" and kanade giggling and acting crazy about it and instead of thinking it was creepy and leaving like a normal person.....you thought it was kinda attractive and developed a crush on kanade

So you hung out with kanade even more while did nothing but piss her off as she had to keep her facade more around you

But she couldn't always, sometimes she got so angry that she snapped at you, not with some passive aggressive comments or light insults but straight up yelling at you to shut up....which you also found attractive

You eventually couldn't keep your feelings to yourself so you decided to share the fact that you had a crush on her to hibiki which was also very annoyed at the fact that you couldn't stop talking about how attractive and cute she was

So she couldn't handle it anymore and told her twin that you had a crush on her while made her even madder

So she just went along with it and went on a date with you hoping that it would be quick. She was just going to brutally reject you and tell you that you had no chance, seeing the look of despair on your face as your heart got broken should have been worth it at least

But when she did go and started spending more time with you she realized that not only were your looks kanade's exact type but also your personality....you were actually really fun to hang out with

Whenever she was with you she felt like she was on cloud nine, her heart beat faster and she struggled to hide her yandere side....she was crushing on you too

And the moment she found that out she wasted no time in kissing you passionately and telling you that you were now her boyfriend and hers forever which you immediately agreed to

So now you're dating your yandere girlfriend who loves you maybe a bit too much....congrats?

Funnily enough now you actually start to leave hibiki out of your dates because kanade doesn't really care that much about her now that she's with you

[raisedbythetv89]

I don’t understand how people can actually hate season 1 of Buffy unless they just hate fun and like jw has claimed “loves seeing buffy suffer” and be blamed and punished for everything???? It’s so nostalgic and camp and queer coded what do you mean you don’t like it????

The puppet show is comedic genius and I’ll say that shit with my whole chest - they’re dealing with an unknown demon killing children and Giles who is always chastising Buffy for focusing too much on things outside of slaying is like “THE SHOW! ITS ABOUT TO START!” 🏃🏻‍♂️💨

Buffy has beef with a puppet for 3/4ths of the episode that is so Spike of her and EXTREMELY FUNNY to me to have the slayer who decapitates vampires with tiny X-Acto knives and knowingly walks to her death majorly creeped out by a dummy 😹😹😹😭😭

Buffy whining in tandem with the tuba playing on the stage as a background sound track to her sinking mood after Synder forces the scoobies to participate in the talent show

The curtain opening to Buffy cradling the dead dummy and a dead demon on stage and Synder in the audience goes “I don’t get it - is it avant-garde?”

THAT SHIT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY TO ME

And Buffy is just in top form for me. Realizing Amy is in her mom’s body even on the verge of death. Seeing the way Cordy treats Willow and immediately finding a reason to align herself with Willow instead despite it being a new school and she is still struggling with not fitting into her old, pre-slayer life. Helping Billy face his fears in his nightmare while overcoming her own of becoming a vampire and really owning her slayerness in a way we haven’t seen before there’s a lot of scary things in the world “AND IM ONE OF THEM”

LIKE YES GIRL YOU ARE TINY AND SCARY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OWN THAT SHIT. The whole bit where Angel is like BEWARE CLAW VAMP SO DANGEROUS WATCH OUT BE CAREFUL - and she’s like right…… I’m gonna use him as my own personal bloodhound to find the REAL monster. I EAT THAT SHIT RIGHT UP ITS AMAZING. It’s also when Buffy is blamed and suffering the least it’s such a nice break for the entire rest of the series that sometimes I just desperately need.

I LOVE that a show that gives us such deeply emotional moments and captures depression perfectly in season 6 can also be so silly and camp with genuine human emotion and connection underlying it because of the core of very talented and dedicated actors

AND THIS IS COMING FROM A DIEHARD SPUFFY. My man isn’t even there yet and Angel with his useless cryptic creepy bullshit is annoying me to no end AND I STILL LOVE IT

I know there’s tons of technical and quality stuff that gets better as the seasons go on but that’s part of the charm for me.

So anyway leave season 1 alone, she’s my girl and I love her.

[satancopilotsmytardis]

I'm not sure if you're still doing the fact-au asks still, but the guided masturbation fic has me in a chokehold to this day. So I was thinking about something along those lines but in a stalker au? Like Dabi who doesn't have any experience in sex (for whatever reason) develops a crush on shigaraki, can't be normal about it, kidnaps him, only to find out shigaraki is worse and has also been stalking him. Because he can't be normal about a crush either.

Stalker 4 Stalker Au? Yummy! But I prefer one of them to actually be a victim/other flavor of crazy! I actually did stalker/yandere for the last round of 5 Fact AUs! It's going to become a 101 kink prompt when I have the chance. The long and short of that one is that Dabi stalks Shigaraki and breaks in to be creepy, gets caught, and Shig is a little more yandere and locks him up down in the basement and turns him into a 1950's housewife sub, which Dabi is happy to become. But this is a dynamic I can have fun with in another flavor so how about Stalker/Manipulator instead?:

Dabi gets obsessed with Shigaraki after his debut at UA. He wants to know everything about the guy who attacked his brother, who rocked All Might and left such a mark that the hero world is scrambling. He goes and finds him, and sees him being treated by the doctor who made that horrible hospital full of puppets and decides he absolutely can't let that stand. He doesn't want his new idol to end up being as empty and used up as the kids he burned. So, he kidnaps him.

Dabi was fully off the radar and Shigaraki is still out of commission because of the gunshots when it happens, leaving AFO scratching his head about where his fucking successor went. In the meantime, Dabi is so happy to have Shigaraki near. He makes him wear gloves all the time because 'he's not stupid', but he talks to him constantly, telling him about his goals and who he is, how he wants to destroy heroes just like Shigaraki does. He takes care of him and takes a lot of arson jobs and robs places that Shigaraki points him towards so that he can get the money he needs to ensure that Shig has better medical care than he ever bothered procuring for himself.

Shigaraki is not thrilled about this situation, of course, but Dabi is just a crazy villain who wants to do what he wants to do. He can work with that. And AFO taught him how to find people's pressure points and use them to break his targets. So he leans into the conversations with Dabi, watching him get all starry-eyed and leaning in closer to him when they're talking. The first time Dabi blushes when he says that he's good to talk to, Tomura immediately decides to go for the seduction angle.

He leans in hard. He's telling Dabi how beautiful his eyes are, telling him what a nice voice he has, praising him for how well he's survived all of this, hyping him up and agreeing that he has what it takes to show the world how bad Endeavor is. And one night, Shigaraki asks if he can kiss Dabi. Dabi is bright red and timid when he nods. Tomura kisses him, super slow and soft at first, but he deepens it and tells Dabi how good he tastes and Dabi gets even more confused and embarrassed because he's hard and he's never been hard while awake before (coma all through puberty, too much pain to trust anyone to touch him afterwards, no one interested anyway, and he didn't even really get what he was missing because of the knowledge gap).

Tomura tells him how to take care of himself, and keeps things very sweet with Dabi, and Dabi is absolutely head over heels for Tomura, doing anything he asks-- except letting him go, because he doesn't want to be alone again 🥺. Tomura tells him that's okay. He wants to stay with Dabi, and he'll be happy how things are until he is ready to trust him. Dabi timidly asks how he can make Tomura feel as good as he helped Dabi feel, and he teaches him how to suck him off, he gets Dabi to lengthen his cuffs so he can finger him open and even eats him out, and he dangles the possibility of sex in front of Dabi. He calls it 'making love' because he wants to show Dabi how much he cares about him now, and Dabi keeps trying to say he's smarter than that, that he won't fall for things, but he still takes Tomura to bed, and Tomura knows how to get out of handcuffs, he always has. He was just curious about this situation, and he still fucks Dabi, still slips the cuffs and could kill him and escape, but, well. Being away AFO made it very obvious that he was using his own manipulation tactics on him, and Dabi is such a good and loyal pet, doing anything he asks if he just gets a little positive reinforcement. Tomura can work with that.

[sugarywishes]

What is the favourite & least favourite animatronic or each of the Aftons & Emilys? Given what I now know about William, I'm especially curious to see if any managed to break their way past his dislike of making them.

This might actually be able to be my shortest ask! (Edit: okay, never mind 💀 prepare for a yap session, answers below as usual!) Also, sorry for the late response, I recently moved so it's been a little hectic!

William: Uh, he basically hates all of them 😭😭 there isn't one that particularly was his favorite in terms of creating them (he likes designing them though!) I guess the closest to a favorite animatronic is Springbonnie since he uses it a lot (it's literally designed to fit him) , but even then he doesn't really like it. Henry originally created the springlock suit ideas to save money, and look how that turned out for Will there! (Believe me if Will had fully kept his memory when awoke as Springtrap, he would have been PISSED, I mean he was still pissed when he became Springtrap but still !!)

Clara: She also wasn't too receptive to the way the animatronics look, but her 'favorite' was probably Freddy since he looked the least 'dead inside' as she said (...major foreshadowing there lmao) Her least favorite was probably the springlock animatronics like Fredbear and Springbonnie, they always kinda freaked her out as a concept (she'll also eventually hate the Funtime animatronics, since...yk 👀)

Michael: Foxy, he was the least dorky out of the main cast (and c'mon he owns a Foxy mask!) Anyways he also thinks the Glamrocks are sick as hell (and since there's no Foxy variant, and also because he thought it would be weird to possess a girl robot, he picked GlamFred, which like good choice) his least favorites are probably anyone else who isn't Foxy or the Glamrocks lmao

Elizabeth: She liked Chica when she was younger, because that was the only girl animatronic at the time, but that quickly changed when Circus Baby came into the spotlight! Her father made her just for her! (He actually only said that to get her to leave him alone, the 'similarity' is a coincidence) And funnily enough, Baby will also become her least favorite!

Evan: You think he likes *any* of these guys?? HELL NO !! (Actually, when he was about toddler age, he didn't have his extreme phobia of robots yet. His old favorite was Springbonnie because he knew it was always his dad under the suit!) Anyways a little while later he developed his intense fear of animatronics. He hates all of them !!

Henry: He is insanely proud of the fact he came up with the Springlock mechanism (and was in fact considering fixing the main gang to BECOME springlock suits too until William's accident where he almost fucking died lmao) so his original favorites were the springlock suits (and Freddy, mostly because Henry was meant to play Fredbear, and yk Freddy is a variant of Fredbear so...) But he will also hate every animatronic too. (Exception of the Puppet/Lefty cause yk that's his daughter, and Helpy !! Does he even count as an animatronic?)

Charlie: To be honest she wasn't really into the animatronic restaurant idea, so she's neutral on them. No favorite and no least favorite. She finds them all a little creepy!

[foursaints]

i have literally never been interested in the slytherin skittles until hearing your interpretations of them (excepting reg). still not really interested in any other versions of them tbh, yours are superior! i’m especially in love with how you present evan and pandora!!! they are fucked up little victorian children who you would think were ghosts if glimpsed them walking around their estate !!! they are creepy twins who hold hands all the time and don’t blink and speak in riddles!!!!! in another life, they were one. and now they are separated forever by death, and how fucked up is that??? anyways live laugh lobotomy your blog is ever so captivating and i love it!

sometimes a family can be a pretentious emo boy experiencing grimm's fairy-tale levels of "woodcutter's secondborn son solving an impossible riddle" doom & anguish at all times, a boy so committed to living solely in opposition to everything Good & Expected & Sensible that he's effectively forfeited his personhood entirely ( fairytale in reverse: he's a real boy becoming a puppet), and the fucked up twins from Hansel and Gretel except they're both convinced they're the one who made it out of the woods (when really they're both the one left in the cauldron)

and they're all huddled quietly together under a tablecloth at a pureblood summer luncheon one of their parents is throwing.

[kivaember]

the dagda dlc in smtvv reminded me that i started to write a nahobino nanashi oneshot aaaaaaaaaaaages ago when vanilla came out in 2022... rereading it again and wondering if i should finish it. i loved writing nanashi and dagda bouncing off each other...

anyway excerpts below:

-

All Nanashi could see was sand. 

It was bright; a searing gold that half-blinded him, streams of it wisping across the shifting dunes from a constant, dry wind. Nanashi squinted against the glare and the grit clinging to his eyelashes, and tried to orientate himself. He felt… groggy, and weird, like his body was both too heavy and too light for him. Pretty standard when he resurrected from a particularly nasty death; Dagda had to rearrange organs sometimes and pad missing muscle and…

Speaking of. 

“Dagda?” he mumbled, and cringed when his voice came out all rasping and strange. There was a bizarre reverb to it, and he ran his hand over his mouth - and froze.

That… did not feel normal. 

Kid, Dagda piped up abruptly, his voice utterly flat. What did you do.

“Why’re you blaming me?!” Nanashi complained, his hackles raised instantly. He didn’t do anything! He… thinks. Did he? They were in the Yamato Reactor place, then… hm, something happened and… ah, Nanashi can’t really remember. Whatever, it probably wasn’t a big deal. They’d find out where they were eventually.

He felt an upwelling of utter disgust - then confusion. Wait, that wasn’t his confusion - though he was pretty fucking confused - that was- 

“Wait,” Nanashi scrambled onto his feet, clumsily, pinwheeling his arms and blinking rapidly to clear his fuzzy vision. His entire body felt out of sync, and he drew his hands close, squinting at them. 

…

These weren’t his hands. 

Nanashi closed his eyes, counted to ten, and opened them. 

…still weren’t his hands. 

We’ve become a Nahobino, Dagda muttered. He said the word like it was a particularly juvenile insult, far too beneath him to utter and he resented Nanashi for making him say it. Of all the things…

“Can you please explain to the poor, stupid human?” Nanashi asked, his gaze travelling up his (???) arms. Briefly, he wondered if he was in Dagda’s body, but the proportions were all off, and the brown, stylised armour was far sleeker and different. It was like, Nanashi but in Dagda’s armour, but less… pointy. 

Kind of reminded him of Danu, actually- 

It’s a god’s ‘true form’, Dagda sneered. Hn, true in that it is the form mortals initially envisioned us as, before YHVH stole our Knowledge. It makes no difference to me. A prison is a prison, powerful or not.

“So, why am I in your armour and…” Nanashi lowered his arms, twisting around to see that, yup, he had Dagda’s dorky scarf-cape thing too. 

You got something to say about my fashion sense?

Nanashi jumped slightly. “Hey! We agreed on no mind-reading!”

You’re practically bellowing your thoughts in here, kid. I can’t ignore them even if I wanted to.

Nanashi immaturely thought of the dirtiest thing he could think of (a faded and suspiciously stained page from a ye olde porn mag) - and yelped when his hand abruptly swung up and punched him in the face. 

“OW! SONUVA-!”

As a Nahobino, Dagda purred, his presence and voice slinking along his thoughts like a mangy cat, we share a body. You’re more of a puppet than you were before. So step carefully, kid.

Nanashi scowled and gingerly rubbed his jaw. His fingers trailed the sharp, jutting edges and he mapped it out, Dagda’s threat immediately forgotten. It felt like his entire lower jaw was covered in some sort of guard, but he could feel where the metal - bone? - merged into the rest of his face - which felt like it had skin, thank god. He didn’t know what he’d do if he had a creepy skeleton face like Dagda. 

Kid, Dagda growled. He radiated irritation like a nuclear reactor core. 

Nanashi quickly moved his hand away from his face in case Dagda decided to poke his eye out or something. “We need to find a mirror.”

Over there, Dagda said curtly, and Nanashi grimaced when his head snapped to the side like an invisible hand had forced it to turn. City ruins. One of them might still have glass in its windows.

Nanashi obediently walked in the direction Dagda indicated. It was - weird. His legs felt a little longer than usual, and what were with these heels?! He knew Dagda wore them tall but Nanashi hadn’t realised how tall until he was trying to strut in them - in sand. In deep, shin-deep sand. He didn’t walk so much as he flailed and staggered his way over to the ruins like a drunken nekomata. 

Stop being an idiot and walk normally, Dagda grumped. 

“I’m sorry but I’m not used to walking in high heels in the desert,” Nanashi hissed back. “If it’s bothering you so much, why don’t you try walking us over, huh?”

Dagda prickled, but Nanashi felt the disconcerting sensation of his body being hijacked. It was like - well, it was like being a puppet, an invisible force marionetting his body to smooth out its gait and murder-strut over to the collapsed buildings despite the deep sand. Nanashi could do nothing but blink, unable to command a single muscle in his body until Dagda deposited him directly in front of a cracked, filthy window and relinquished control. 

“What the fuck,” Nanashi said. 

It looked like him. His face was mostly the same, but his entire bottom jaw was now some weird, armoured skeleton jaw, and his eyes were such a poisonous green they glowed brightly. His body resembled Dagda’s, but the armour was sleeker, more proportioned for him - but it also made him look like a wooden doll. Behind him fluttered twin tails of Dagda’s dark scarf, but they felt… Nanashi frowned and concentrated. The scarf tails twitched, and its frayed edges morphed slightly into claws - two extra hands, apparently, in sentient scarf form. 

Nanashi processed, and said, again, “What the fuck.”

-

(THEN SMTH SMTH THEY RUN INTO NAHOBINO RIN)

-

“So, wait…” Nanashi ogled the strange creature before him. “You two want to be partners?”

The human blinked slowly at him. He didn’t emote much, but Nanashi was used to parsing expressions from Dagda’s stone-cold skull - this ‘Rin’ wasn’t that difficult to figure out in comparison - and it was clear that he was both confused and concerned. 

“Yes?” Rin said. “Isn’t it the same for you?”

Dagda made a low, scoffing noise. He was still glaring dramatically across the desert’s… horizon (did it count as a horizon when it curved upwards?), but as always he was unable to stay out of a conversation if he could be a petty bitch in it. Nanashi made sure to think this thought extra loudly, and was rewarded with a very sharp mental poke that felt like Dagda spiritually speared his brainstem. 

“...well,” Nanashi said. “It's difficult to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’.” 

“He’s my puppet,” Dagda sneered, turning towards them with dark, intent eyes. “He’s my Godslayer, and he kills who I order him to kill.”

There was a brief, taut pause where Dagda glanced from Rin to his towering ‘partner’, who stared back just as intently (but with a lot less murder vibes). Nanashi could almost feel Dagda’s decision to be a dick.

“And you two are climbing high on that list,” Dagda finished in a low, threatening rasp. 

Nanashi rolled his eyes. Jesus fucking Christ. 

“Basically,” he interjected, “he’s too lazy to do anything himself.”

Dagda slowly turned towards him, pinning him down with that death glare. Sucks to be him, Nanashi was immune.

“A terrible backseat driver, though,” Nanashi continued, holding Dagda’s glare with a smirk so sharp it could cut diamonds. “Can’t handle any sort of criticism, won’t be caught dead putting in more effort than quipping a useless taunt, never outgrew his edgy teenager phase-”

Dagda clamped his hand down on his head, forcing him downwards into a low bow and his neck to strain at a painfully awkward angle. Nanashi grunted, grabbing Dagda’s wrist, but the god was unrelenting. 

“I should just snap your neck,” Dagda grumbled, but, as Nanashi was beginning to realise, he was all bark and no bite when it came to him (so long as Nanashi was useful as a Godslayer, that is). 

There was a quick flash of blue light that flickered across the ground and over his and Dagda’s feet, followed by a soft ‘ffwsst!’ of raw energy cutting the air. 

“Oh?” Dagda purred. “Looking for a fight, are you?”

Wait, were those two going to-!? 

“It’s fine!” Nanashi quickly yelped, and he smacked Dagda’s arm frantically in a ‘let me up!’ gesture. Dagda ignored him. “Dagda’s harmless! For him, I mean! He just revives me if I die so it’s fine!”

“What,” the other human said, flat and cold. 

“As I said, he’s my puppet,” Dagda sneered. “He’ll die when I order him to die, not before, and not after.”

Why was Dagda like this?! Seriously!

“I’m gonna snap my own neck in a minute if you don’t stop being difficult,” Nanashi hissed. “And I’ll stay dead too! See if you ever get a Godslayer as good as me again!”

“Don’t think too highly of yourself,” Dagda huffed, but he did let him go, so Nanashi chalked that up as a win for him. 

“‘Don’t think too highly-!’ Ugh, you’re such a brat!” Nanashi snarled as he straightened up, roughly clawing his fingers through his hair to fluff it up where Dagda had flattened it. “Who’s the adult here, huh? It definitely ain’t you!”

Dagda just gave him a ‘stop throwing a temper tantrum in the milk aisle kid you’re embarrassing me’ glare, but Nanashi just ignored him, pivoting to the communicatively healthy demon-human pair (god what a thought) fused into one being again. Rin was sort of but not quite glaring at Dagda, looking like he was unsure on whether he should intervene or if this was normal for them (it was, unfortunately). 

“You wanna swap?” Nanashi asked, jerking his thumb at Dagda. 

“...no thanks,” Rin said a bit stiffly. “He looks too high maintenance.”

Nanashi barked out a mean laugh - and swiftly ducked out of the way of Dagda’s grasping hand when the old grump went to scruff him. Not seriously scruff him, as Dagda didn’t pursue when Nanashi danced out of range. The god just settled for trying to liquidise him with his poisonous stare alone. 

“Is this…” Rin began slowly, reluctantly extinguishing his energy blade. “Normal for you two?”

“Our relationship is built on professional pragmatism,” Nanashi said honestly. “Though, the professional bit kinda slides here and there.”

Dagda almost felt approving, which was utterly bizarre to feel. Nanashi gave him a weird look and instantly Dagda self-corrected, pushing a sludge of feelings through their new yet highly unwanted connection that made Nanashi feel vaguely oily and gross. What a disturbing experience. 

“Stop doing that,” Nanashi grumbled. “I’ll lick you.”

“Keep your disease ridden tongue away from me, kid, unless you wanna lose it.”

-

(SMTH SMTH THEN AOGAMI AND DAGDA TALK ABOUT THEIR RESPECTIVE HUMANS)

-

“-he’s been a pain from the start,” Dagda finished sourly. 

Aogami didn’t respond, not that Dagda expected him to engage in his ‘why humans are pathetic, part one’ rant. Watching this synthetic demon interact with his ~partner~ was downright nauseating at times, but also morbidly curious. Was this what humanity really craved? The gods and demons they unwittingly imprisoned being their friends? Or more, if the vibes he was sensing between those two were right (ugh, why was he surrounded by demon fuckers). 

But then Aogami said; “I think you’re actually quite fond of your human.”

If Dagda was cursed with the human affliction called ‘breathing’, he would’ve choked. As it was, he just stared at the synthetic demon with every dreg of bitter disdain he could muster in his body - which, admittedly, was infinite. A lesser demon would have cowered away from such concentrated hostility being laser beamed directly into their skull. Unfortunately, Aogami either had nerves of steel or was socially braindead, as Dagda’s rancid vibes just bounced right off him.  

“Do you disagree?” the synthetic demon asked mildly. 

“I,” Dagda said loftily, “feel many emotions towards my Godslayer, but fondness is not one of them.”

“You protect him and offer guidance.”

“I am ensuring my investment actually crosses the finish line,” Dagda sneered, jabbing his finger aggressively in Aogami’s direction. He wished he was closer so he could poke out his eyes. “I’ve poured too much of my precious time and effort into this kid for him to just- get himself killed in this backwater world. The gods here are pathetic and unworthy of even being target practice-”

Aogami bulldozed right over Dagda’s rant-building momentum. “Gods have nothing but time. You can easily replace him.”

Dagda… paused.

He hadn’t expected such logical callousness from this otherwise bleeding heart of a robot companion. He crossed his arm (not defensively) and narrowed a suspicious glare at him. Aogami’s expression hadn’t changed or twitched. It made him infuriatingly difficult to read. 

“...I hate wasting my time, no matter how infinite,” Dagda said, but even he knew it was a weak defence. 

“It would be more efficient for you to abandon Nanashi here, and return to your own realm, as gods are not bound to specific worlds as humans are,” Aogami pointed out, his tone still perfectly mild. “Remaining here with him, trying to return him to his original world, is ‘wasting time’.”

it isn’t, Dagda almost said, but narrowly held it back because… 

He had waited a long time for his Godslayer, and not because he had slim pickings. Dagda had lurked at the mouth of the human netherworld, watching the species parade in droves into that mysterious place beyond even a god’s reach. He hadn’t extended his hand to any one of them, because they had been grey, washed out things - weak, spineless, unworthy. A few had the spark of defiance here and there, but the rough life of Tokyo had turned them brittle, and death was the final blow that broke them. 

Nanashi, though…

The kid had come barrelling at him like a wrecking ball, his eyes bright with viciousness and his tiny fists clenched in aggressive fury. Nanashi had been fully prepared to lunge at him, to chew his throat out like he had fucking rabies - he blazed with the desire to live, to keep on living, to claw and bite and scream his way into life even if he had to throw himself bloody against the gatekeeper. Dagda had taken one look at him and just thought ‘you’.

Death broke humans, repeated deaths shattered them - it was unnatural to them, to die and live and die and live again. Nanashi endured it, though, because he was just too fucking furious and stubborn at the world. Maybe Dagda saw a little of himself in him, this angry slip of a thing, too small to do anything because the world was so big and he was so insignificant, unless…

Dagda was a hypocrite, he knew. He preached to never rely on others, but here he leaned on Nanashi, even if it was just as a useful tool. Nanashi leaned on him for life and strength. They were both pathetic in their own way, but Dagda was self-aware enough to acknowledge his own hypocrisy. So long as he achieved his goal, did it really matter if he was a fucking liar to himself? 

So, yeah, maybe a bit of protectiveness over his investment had spawned. It didn’t matter. ‘Fond’ meant something entirely different to whatever shit Aogami had concocted in that warped little brain of his. 

“You think worthy humans just grow on trees?” Dagda drawled. “You think any of them are like our humans? Sure, I can ditch the kid… but I’d be waiting around for another few hundred years to find someone equivalent. It’ll be faster in the long run to punch a hole through reality and drag the kid through, kicking and screaming, back to where he belonged.”

[imaginarylungfish]

well i finished sk8 the infinity lol. i didn't realize it was only 12 episodes

whelp, here are my thoughts:

- first episode: kinda goofy but i like it. i like Reki's all-over-the-place personality contrasted with Langa's mellow one (sun and moon, cough, cough). Also, Shokichi (the manager at the skate shop) and Hawks from MHA have the same English VA lol (yes, this is what stood out to me during the first episode)

- Reki reminds me of Dot from Mashle--yes, maybe it's the red hair and head band but also a little bit of the personality lol

- Joe has the same English VA as Ogasawara from Sasaki and Miyano lol

- love how open Reki is with just going to hug Langa after he wins against Miya

- and how he emphasizes friendship and the love of skating rather than winning

- eww Adam is creepy, reminds me of Hisoka

- i like how Shadow and Miya are helping Langa and Reki against Adam, united against a common foe

- i love how intense this is lol so goofy

- lol Reki having nightmares about Langa getting hurt when racing Adam

- ok Adam is a creep. Like he's 26 and gave roses to a 17 year old. Hes also weirdly hugging and dancing with him, calling Langa Eve.  Like literally Hisoka

- love how silly and feel-good the beach episode was

- lol how Miya pretended Joe was his dad and Cherry was his mom

- i like how Chery, Joe, Shadow, Miya, and Reki and Langa hung out together 

- i like how we see Reki come to realize Langa is better than him and become discouraged--so real

- alright so the abused abuse, Adam

- adam is literally saying things that Hisoka said to Gon this is insane

- ugh i hate that Adam is gender-inclusive tho

- I literally hate Adam

- so Cherry had a crush on Adam when they were teenagers? dramaaaaa

- I like Cherry and Joe's relationship--they're not alone

- lol Reki and Langa are acting like exes

- it's cute seeing Miya want Reki and him to be friends

- honestly love Reki's journey with skating. Him just loving the sport, loving trying to improve, and wanting to share it with others

- love Reki skating after Langa to catch him after Langa tried to visit Reki

- also love that Langa only feels a certain way skating with Reki

- Adam is a creep!!!!!

- ok Tadashi and Adam's friendship is so tragicccc

- fucking love Reki's attitude: "it'll be fun to try" yes!!!

- i teared up when Langa's dad "showed up" for him while racing Adam

- lol Adam The Creep just wants friends to skate with

- ok Langa jumping into a hug with Reki at the finish line was so cute... now kiss!

- adam is a little puppet and i hate him

- ok so Adam and Tadashi are doing pup play? They confuse me

Overall, such a goofy and cute anime. The love themes with Adam was a little weird tbh. But oh well? And I always go into an anime telling myself not to look for queer undertones but like idk maybe stop making them so hard to ignore? Anyway, now I'm gonna go read some renga and MatchaBlossom fics hehe

[whxlmedwing]

//Y’all ever get slammed by a vision of your oc like a god bestowing a vision of your doom?

Anyway, I had, like, the fleeting thought of Katie’s blood being cursed. The Court fucking with things they don't understand. This physical manifestation of the rot the Court represents that Katie is forever entwined with.

My brain decided to supply me with a vision of Katie impaled on a crystalline mass of her own blood. Why is it crystal, and why is it her blood? Dunno, but this vision won't leave.

And like, the Court should be fucking weird man. Its a bunch of rich assholes puppeteering society—might as well get a little freaky with it. Like they already have undead assassins you're telling me blood magic is out of the question? Absolutely not.

This kind of magic occult vibe also handily fixes a issue I've had with Katie for awhile which was her lack of something to make her pop, at least to me.

And, Hoo boy, I can do so much creepy shit with her blood being corrupted. That spooky whispers only she can hear when it's quiet enough—the paranoia it would cause. The horror of not understanding what something wants from you but knowing whatever it is, it isn't good or pleasant for you or anyone unfortunate enough to get involved.

And one more point of pressure. One more being determined to mold you how they see fit. It makes Katie’s struggle of her independence even more pronounced as she tries to make a identity for herself she can feel proud of.

[axilog14]

Sometimes I stop and get sad when I'm reminded oh, rock bands having toys as official merch isn't really. a thing.

dolls have always been pop star merch. name a big-name pop girlie, and odds are she might've had her own doll at some point. and this even extends to fictional pop girlies like Hannah Montana.

but how many bands do you know with toys? (by which I mean "fandoms secure enough in their collective identity they don't get weird about toys"?) now how many of those toys aren't Funko Pops? Kiss and the Beatles have to be somewhere in there right? ofc the Gorillaz had those Kidrobot figures. and somehow so did My Chemical Romance.

like, ignore all the moralizing over counterculture and consumerism for a sec. do you have any idea how badly I want more random-as-fuck rock toys? I want Pink Floyd action figures. Shirley Manson Barbies. Franz Ferdinand x Tokidoki blind boxes. Morrissey voodoo dolls. fuck give me a replica of that creepy-ass puppet from Interpol's "Evil" music video.

alas, crafters and toy customizers have to do all the work. anyway here's my homemade Matt Bellamy doll hanging out with my Spice-Girls-but-not doll.

[house-afire]

you can have a little revenge, as a treat (Izzy/Lucius)

(tw: references to noncon)

Izzy knew Lucius was tailing him back to his cabin. He didn’t stay so close it was stupid—more like a nervy cat’s way of following than a puppy’s—but he was still as subtle as a cannonball. He wasn’t surprised when there was a knock half-a-minute after he got inside.

“I’d say ‘fuck off,’ but you don’t like listening, do you?”

The door creaked open. “Did you know it was me, or is that just, like, how you greet people?”

“It can be both.”

“Fair.” Lucius slipped in and sat down, like he’d had a real invitation. He gave Izzy a fierce, almost angry look. “I asked Pete to be my matelot.”

He didn’t know what he’d expected this to be about, but it sure as fuck wasn’t this. “And you came to me for congratulations?”

“Uh, no. I can see why that would be weird, if I’d done that. No, I want to—” He pressed his lips together. Turned out that was one last bolstering-up of the dam before he kicked it to pieces. “Stede doesn’t want to listen to what happened to me after Blackbeard pushed me overboard, and he said I shouldn’t tell Pete every dark little detail, either. And he was right. It’s a lot, and I shouldn’t … track filth around. But if I don’t tell someone about it, I’m going to lose my fucking mind. You’re not squeamish, and you won’t cry over me.”

That glare of his, Izzy saw now, had just a hint of desperation to it.

He’d never talked about anything more than he’d had to—swallowed it all down like his fucking toes—but he had, as the whole cursed lot of them knew by now, sicked up enough before to know that it could help. And if you were going to spew, better to do it in private.

“Fine,” Izzy said.

Lucius boggled at him for a moment, like a fish pulled out of the water, and then said, “Right, I expected that to be a lot harder.”

He sat down on the other end of the bed, as far from Izzy as he could get. Crossed his legs and uncrossed them, scowling at his knees like they’d betrayed him. He fixed his gaze somewhere over Izzy’s shoulder.

“I went between a lot of ships, after I got picked up. Wasn’t really by choice, not after the first … first bad one. A good ship—a good ship will let you leave, and you don’t know until it’s too late that if they’ll let you go, you might be … might be better off staying. I should never have left the first berth I got. They only wanted me as a whore, but that’s not so bad, is it? I mean, you’d probably say that’s most of what I did around here anyway.”

His gaze flickered over to Izzy like he expected him to laugh or nod. Izzy didn’t do either: you didn’t fuck about when you could see there was a storm on the horizon.

“Okay. Fine. Be understanding, like that’s not creepy.” He shifted around again, fidgeting like his own skin wasn’t enough to keep together, like he had to hold on to himself. “The other ships were all worse. I thought most pirates were—”

“Like Bonnet?” Izzy said incredulously.

“Like you,” Lucius said. “I thought the worst I’d have to contend with would be a whole ship of Izzy Hands, and I’d just be annoyed and stressed or, fine, dead, but in a—normal way. But you never—you wouldn’t—”

He dug his fingers into his arms. He’d wind up with bruises from it.

“The worst ship was called Dead Man’s Folly. And they had a little dog named Pepper, and they liked having puppet shows in the evenings, and I just fucking need—somebody—to fucking listen.”

Izzy didn’t know the details yet, but the puppet shows were a cursed enough notion for him to tell the outline of it already. Nothing curdled like whimsy; nothing was worse when it turned dark.

He listened. And as Lucius told him all of it, he stowed away a few things in particular.

Dead Man’s Folly. Captain Graves.

***

It took another fortnight—and a through-gritted-teeth request about it to Bonnet, who was so shocked Izzy would ask him for a favor that he gave in at once—but Izzy saw to it that they made one of the Dead Man’s Folly’s regular ports of call.

“I never had the impression you were all that enamored of shore leave,” Bonnet said, watching as Izzy scanned the ships crowded into the bay. “Care to share your holiday plans?”

Izzy’s lips flexed, hard, as he found the flag he was looking for. “Not responsible for what you don’t know about,” he said. “Better to leave it.”

“If you’re looking for trouble, you ought to have company!”

“Not for this,” Izzy said. “You’d approve, at least in theory, but you won’t want to see it. It won’t be very … gentlemanly.”

Bonnet looked crestfallen, but he said, “Well, if that’s what you think, I suppose I agree. I—trust you, Izzy. God, never thought I’d be saying that.”

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Izzy said.

“It is a bit weird, yeah. Nice, though.”

Almost against his will, Izzy said, “Yeah, it’s nice.” He cleared his throat. “Keep Lucius and Black Pete on the ship, even if everyone else goes to shore for the night. I don’t know, throw them a fucking engagement party.”

Bonnet brightened. “I have been meaning to do that, you know. Of course, you can’t plan a proper celebration in one night, but—”

“Whatever,” Izzy said, putting his foot into the rigging and starting down. It took more presence of mind to do this these days, but it wasn’t so bad once you got used to it. “Just no cake.”

“Yes, I think we all learned our lessons on the cake front. Have no fear! Roach is a pastry virtuoso. There doesn’t exist a confection that he can’t master.”

Perfect. A night of sugar and blood. Captured their lives here pretty well, really.

***

It wasn’t hard to find the Dead Man’s Folly. Ships captained by assholes always made themselves known sooner or later.

Some of Bonnet’s luck must have rubbed off on him, because he got the sweetest of chances: all hands in port for the night, and just Graves and his first mate aboard.

Easiest thing in the world for Izzy to hail them, plain and simple, and get welcomed on. The first mate didn’t even ask him his business, though he found it out in a hurry. Izzy didn’t make a meal out of that one: it was Graves he’d come here for, Graves who had been the rotten core of Lucius’s story.

Graves, who was drinking the night away in his cabin.

He wasn’t completely soused yet, which was good. Izzy wasn’t going to give him a chance to retrieve his sword or pistol—he was here to murder, not raiding or dueling; the usual rules of the profession didn’t apply—but he wanted him sober. He wanted Graves to know what he was paying for.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Curious passerby,” Izzy said. “My ship dropped anchor here, same as yours, and I’d heard so many rumors about the fearsome Captain Graves that I had to come myself to see what was what.”

The fact that Graves didn’t immediately blink at him and ask if he was taking the piss was a marvel and a half. As far as Izzy was concerned, the only pirate worth that kind of slobbery adulation was Edward himself—and Edward had tired of it a long time ago.

“What rumors would those be?” Graves said, hungry for any morsel of a reputation.

“I heard,” Izzy said, “that you picked up a pretty little piece of one-time jetsam a while back.”

Graves earned himself an even slower death by not even being able to fucking remember at first, like he fished bitchy scribes out of the sea every week at least.

“Oh,” Graves said, comprehension finally dawning on him. “Rat Boy. I wouldn’t go as far as pretty.”

Fucking hell, at this rate, Izzy was going to have to spend most of the fucking year killing this prick.

“Rat Boy. That’s the one.” He gave Graves a smile that would’ve sent a smarter man running. “Heard something about a bit of puppetry too, I think. Sounded … inventive.”

Graves, not content with all previous acts of wanton fucking stupidity, took this compliment at face value too. “Keeps the crew entertained on the slow nights. Everybody loves a good show.”

“Yeah? You come up with that yourself, then?”

Graves spread out his hands. “I’m a great innovator, unrecognized in my time.”

“Oh, I bet recognition’s right on its way,” Izzy said. “Nipping at your heels. You really got your whole hand up his arsehole, then.”

“He squirmed, but in it went,” Graves said, wiggling his fingers.

“You like that, watching him squirm? Wouldn’t go so far as to call him pretty, no, but you liked how he looked with you wrist-deep in his arse and making a show of him? Liked having him catch rats with his teeth? You must have. Liked it so well you didn’t even call him by his right name. Do you know it?”

It was, to Izzy’s great pleasure, finally starting to dawn on Graves that Izzy hadn’t really come here to have a wank to his great ingenuity. He stared at Izzy, the damp whites of his eyes looking like Roach’s poached eggs.

“My first mate is right up on deck—”

“He is. All over the deck, you might say.” Izzy leaned back in his chair. “Now, him I didn’t have much of a conversation with, so he didn’t have a chance to make things worse for himself. Just as dead as you’re going to be, though. Had it coming too, because a first mate’s responsible for everything that happens on his ship.”

Graves stared up at the ceiling, like blood was going to start dripping down right on cue. Izzy hoped he had a vivid picture of what all over the deck could mean. He gave Graves time to think about it. Then some more time to think about how much worse Izzy might do to the man who’d just been running his mouth about being the brains behind the human fucking puppet.

“I’ll make you a deal,” Izzy said, drawing his sword and laying it across his knees. “If you can come up with his name, I won’t cram a fat bilge rat down your sorry throat until you choke on it. I don’t really want to go looking for one anyway. This is going to take enough time as it is.”

Graves was sputtering now, like he was trying to save Izzy the rat-finding trouble by choking on his own spit first. “But he—he—”

“Made it back to his own ship.”

“He couldn’t have,” Graves insisted. “He—he said his captain there threw him overboard!”

“I’m not his fucking captain,” Izzy said. “Come up with that name yet?”

Graves’s pulse was fluttering in his throat, rapid as a lady’s fan. Thinking so hard beads of sweat were popping out on his brow: the great innovator at work.

“J—John.”

“Reasonable gamble,” Izzy allowed. “Thing is—it’s not right by even a letter.”

He ran Graves through, pinning him to his fancy chair; rapped the hilt with two fingers and set it to quivering in Graves’s belly. The screams were easy enough to ignore. Just part of the mess, like the blood.

He’d intended to make Lucius Spriggs the last thing Graves ever heard, but it seemed like Lucius’s name deserved better than being dragged back into this room with all its filth. Stupid thought, but there it was.

Instead, he said, “S’pose it doesn’t matter. Saw a dead rat right outside—seems a shame to waste it.” He hadn’t, but he figured Graves deserved to die with that thought in his head. And one more for good measure: “I’m not much for imagination; save that for the captains of the world. But I do work out how to make the fucking plans happen, even yours. The way I see it, all I have to do is cut your hand off—” He tapped a dagger blade against each of Graves’s wrists. “And then I can shove it up your arse. Put on a puppet show just the way you like.”

“You can’t do this,” Graves said. Blood was already hitting his lips as he whined, which meant he was dying faster than Izzy would like, and the bastard was too fucking dimwitted to know it.

Aided in the fuckery, at least.

“Oh, you’ll squirm, but in it’ll go,” Izzy told him. “You said as much yourself. It’ll be slick enough with your own blood, that ought to make it easier.”

He let Graves wriggle and bleed for another few minutes, but there wasn’t any satisfaction to it once the man was well and truly out of his head. Nothing to be gained by hurting a dumb animal. Izzy cut his throat to finish him off.

He stood there a while, breathing in the scent of blood. (And shit. He bet Bonnet’s tales of piracy never talked about how often dying men shit themselves.) He hadn’t paid Graves back for even what the fucker had done to Lucius, but there was revenge and then there was fucking monstrosity. He’d had enough of the latter to last him a lifetime.

Mutilating a corpse, though—that was run-of-the-mill pirate shit, honestly.

“Not saying he’ll make you the centerpiece of the fucking wedding,” he said to Graves’s body, “because he’s still a bit too soft for it, even after what your lot did to him. Which is almost fucking impressive. But he is, God help me, enough of a pirate to appreciate a token.”

Not the head. You walked through port swinging a man’s severed head like a sack of fucking apples, you wound up having to talk about it. Hand wouldn’t attract nearly as much attention—stray hands were as common around here as the pox—but Lucius wouldn’t want one. Not with where Graves’s had been. Fucking reminder, not a proper keepsake. Foot? He glanced down at his hoof—smiled a bit—and then scoffed. Jesus Christ, if he took Graves’s foot, Twatty would never fucking shut up about how interesting it must be inside Izzy’s head. He’d grow old and die before he heard the end of it.

Ear, he decided. Graves had been thoughtful enough to wear some gaudy emeralds there, might as well make use of it.

He sawed off the left one; it had a bit missing off the top, tapering to a lump of scar tissue, so between that and the fucking jewels, it’d be plain enough who it belonged to.

He spat on Graves’s body, before he went.

***

Frenchie was playing his lute when Izzy got back, and he shot Izzy a shy smile and plucked the first few notes of the tune he’d somehow gotten in his head was Izzy’s favorite. He raised his eyebrows.

Izzy waved him off—don’t change it on my account—and Frenchie drifted back to the other song.

Unbefuckinglievable that he’d somehow wound up with a life where people cared what fucking music he wanted. Fucking smiles and moonlight.

And a man’s ear in his pocket. Couldn’t say he’d ever had that before either, strictly speaking. Not as such.

Sugar and blood, he thought.

He found Lucius tucked up in Black Pete’s arms, listening to the music. Little fucker had always been bold as brass when it came to lazing about, never one to spring into action, but this was a new development, this melting back into his boyfriend’s chest and fucking relaxing more as Izzy came close.

Lucius looked up at him through his eyelashes. “Joining us?”

“Oh, get up,” Izzy said, nudging at him with the toe of his boot. “I’ve got a … matelotage gift for you. Just you, not him.”

“Well, color me intrigued,” Lucius said. He twisted around enough to press a kiss to Black Pete’s lips. “Save my seat.”

“Of course! And if he’s giving you what I think he’s giving you, babe, you’re gonna have to let me know if he put a bow on it first.”

They made it around to a quiet side of the deck—as private as anything ever got, with a ship this unwholesomely chummy—and Lucius flicked his gaze downwards and says, “Does it have a bow on it? I’ve always liked unwrapping presents.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Izzy reached into his pocket and pulled out the handkerchief-swaddled ear. It still felt warm. “Here.”

“I swear,” Lucius murmured, “the number of otherwise lovely gifts I get with blood all over them ….” He unfolded the handkerchief and his breath caught in his throat. He stared down at it. “This is—his.”

Izzy nodded.

“That’s what you did tonight. You went out and cut a man’s ear off for me.”

“Killed him too,” Izzy said. “And the first mate.”

“Killed. You walked onto another pirate ship, killed its officers, and brought me back an ear.” Lucius tugged roughly at the earring, like he was half-tempted to tear through the earlobe and yank it free. “How did you even get away with that alive?”

Izzy shrugged. “They’d given the crew shore leave. Otherwise I would’ve had to settle for just the captain, and it would’ve been trickier. Easy enough as it was.”

Lucius wrapped the handkerchief up again. His fingers were shaking. “And here I had this whole vastly symbolic shark telling me I had to move on.”

“You are moving on,” Izzy said. “Or did you miss where it was a fucking wedding present? You’ve got Pete. You’re not sulking about the ship anymore, letting your whole life fester. You fucking talked it out, like you’re Bonnet Jr. You’ve just got some bastard’s ear now too, little piece for the mantel.”

Lucius took a deep breath and then said, “Don’t stab me, because it will so ruin the moment,” and leaned in fast and pressed his lips to Izzy’s cheek. The touch was light and warm. “This is honestly one of the sweetest things anyone’s ever done for me.”

“Fuck off,” Izzy said, even if it took a moment or two too long. His face felt hot. “It’s a severed ear, not a bunch of flowers.”

“I love it.”

“Yeah.” There was more open appreciation in his voice than he’d meant to put there. “Figured you were enough of a bloodthirsty little shit for it.”

“Speaking of which—you’re not … expecting me to cut off Blackbeard’s ear for you, are you?”

“You couldn’t give him so much as a fucking haircut,” Izzy said.

“I know that, but I figured I should, you know, offer.”

“Mm. You didn’t quite, though.”

“I said that I knew I should,” Lucius said. “That’s almost the same thing. I’m self-aware.”

Izzy snorted, and Lucius smiled—victorious and alive and prettier than fucking Graves could have ever fucking hoped to be.

“Don’t tell me you commit glorious, bloody acts of heroism for all the boys,” he said, slipping the bundled-up handkerchief into his pocket. “I don’t need to be a one-and-only, but I still like to feel special.”

He wasn’t quite a one-and-only, Izzy thought, looking over towards the stern, where the ship’s captains and her company was lounging about listening to their moonlit music and probably fiddling with their own beloved severed ears. But he was one of just a few. And special wasn’t the worst word for it, if Izzy were going to talk about it, which he absolutely fucking wasn’t.

“Oh,” Lucius said quietly, following his gaze. “I can certainly work with that.” He kissed Izzy again, on the mouth this time, even more softly than before. It hit Izzy like a kind of slow lightning strike and left him tingling. “Come and sit with us? God, that would be something. One valiant defender of my honor on either side. And Frenchie will play that song he’s absolutely convinced you like.”

“Don’t know why he thinks that,” Izzy said, following Lucius, “but I might be coming around on it.”

[velvet-apricots]

Preceptor Seluvis seems to have a vendetta against Gideon Ofnir. He targets people close to Gideon, people that were at one point very dear to him. Dolores was Gideon’s only friend/possibly lover. Nepheli is his daughter (I genuinely think at one point they were significantly closer but something changed on Gideon’s part)

However Its also possible that some of his other puppets were also tied to Gideon in someway. The perfumer and in the Omen Killer could’ve been people who worked with Gideon. Therona could’ve been Gideon’s finger maiden.

Idk who Jarwight was ngl. he’s an outlier. Maybe Seluvis just liked the novelty of having him in the collection. “Heehee hoohoo weird lil man for my creepy dungeon”

Anyway, with Gideon possibly being of Nox decent due to his eyes being similar, Seluvis using puppetry could also be a slap and Gideon’s face.

The Nox Twin Maiden puppets clearly indicate that they willingly drank the potion, signifying that it was probably ritualistic in someway. Forcing someone to drink the potion could just be a massive insult to the Nox culture. I’m not sure if he does this intentionally to try and anger Gideon or if it’s just something that came with the Carians misusing what they learned.

Of course, not all of his actions are centered around the guy. him wanting to turn Ranni into a puppet is just him being a fucking creep.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

91. They Bill You Double for Dying

When I feel uncertain and anxious and then I see that people saw my stuff I feel much better immediately <3 <3

Because VALIDATION, my life force/jk

I'm happy to inform that ALL OF THE BOOK 1 CHARACTERS ARE DESIGNED

That's 68 characters total, from my very first Murdle drawing of Aureolin back in May to the Crystal Goddess, who was just finished yesterday.

On another note the Crystal Goddess is now my least favorite design and I find her worse than Sir Rulean. Fletch colored her but I drew this monstrosity and uh you have been warned.

Nuh

Why is she another fish woman

Why are there so many of those

My original idea in my head actually was a lot less horrifying but Fletch insisted that she needed these creepy lips and NSJFSDCKSDN I hate her :'D KAY AT LEAST SHE'S NOT IN THIS EPISODE MOVING ON

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

Logico needs to do something he does not want to do.

He has to drive.

LOGICO: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT ANOTHER CAR!!! [mature sobbing]

He has to go to a new law firm, because he HAS to get out of this stupid contract. No more fucking around in Hollywood with his stupid boss and his stupid film crew - he’s not even PARTICIPATING in the movie. When he gets there (and kicks his rental car like a man), he sees the lobby, which is the size of an entire grocery store. That’s just the LOBBY!

LOGICO: Hahahaha, I can’t afford this. ???: LOOK MURDER! LOGICO: Fuck

Blaxton and Argyle followed him to the place!

LOGICO: WHAT DO YOU WANT?? BLAXTON: We knew you knew things, and we wanted them!! ARGYLE: Ay we want yer money.

Blackstone and Pine are also there.

PINE: [snort] Haven’t seen YOU in a while. BLAXTON: AND I JUST WANT TO FUCKING SIGN MY LIFE AWAY!!! LOGICO: All RIGHT, you already spoke.

BLAXTON: Get out of my life, I’m going to go drink coffee with that hot girl!!! I mean drink hot coffee, with the room-temperature girl - YOU UNDERSTAND!!!

Logi, fed up with the puppet man, gets statements.

PINE: Judicially, whoever had the antique- LOGICO: NO! Stop. Retry, but WITHOUT the character-relevant prefix. BLACKSTONE: I-I’ll give you my statement now and my bill later. LOGICO: Ohoho I am not paying you. BLACKSTONE: I’M SORRY MAN!! I’m just… I’m freaking out! Something just doesn’t feel right. I need… money??  LOGICO: Relax. It’s probably because this building is larger than is physically possible on the land surface available. 

Logi gets a really blunt email from Irratino and blushes anyway, because even his most basic words float like whipped cream.

LOGICO: [weird giggling]

But he figures out the truth!

LOGICO: AGENT ARGYLE! You weren’t following me, I was following you! You were here before I was, and you killed that random person! ARGYLE: HISSSSS!!! It wan’t a ‘RANDOM PERSON’! It was a LAWYER! I wanted another percentage point of a mutual client’s revenue. He disagreed. We negotiated, and long story short, he died. Is THAT A CRIME, YOU LITTLE BUSHHUGGER? PINE: [at a computer] You know what is a crime? I just sold your house on Zillow. ARGYLE: WHAT?!? PINE: Serves you right. You just got JUDGED!!! BLAXTON: WHAT JUDGED?? WHAT’S HAPPENING?!?!? BLACKSTONE: STOP… SCREAMING, YOU LITTLE PUPPET MAN!!

Blackstone tackles the puppet and fights with it stupidly. 

ARGYLE: I didn’t think my empty heart could feel depression, until I saw THAT.

The marshmallow man finally manages to rip the little blue guy from his roots. The ‘real’ Hack Blaxton appears to be… a clone of Blackstone? Wait a minute!

LOGICO: He murdered you! BLACKSTONE: I murdered you! How… how??? BLAXTON: I… I… 

The red-tied doppelganger picks himself off the ground.

BLAXTON: I didn’t really die. You were so controlling, so demanding, all the time… the only way I could get away from you was to pretend that you killed me. I just didn’t want to see you again. BLACKSTONE: Hacker… you… really felt like that? I… I don’t want you to think of me like that, I really thought… we were a good team… BLAXTON: I work here now, in Hollywood. I write movies. It’s… what I really want to do. BLACKSTONE: …It’s okay, man. I’m sorry I ever scared you off. I just… I can’t believe you’re alive. I…

They hug and cry. Pine clutches her heart. Logico does a long, withering sigh of confusion. 

LOGICO: I hate this contract… I want to die… why can’t lawyers… why can’t anyone… [LE GASP!!] WAIT! I know who can get me out of ANYTHING! 

He giggles and runs away like a penguin, with an idea in his circular head.

The end!

Yeah Hack Blaxton actually looks exactly like his twin bro, just shorter, with slightly different hair, and a red tie.

Some of the dumbest 'new lore' to come out of the cartoon! ...As if the puppet wasn't already problematic

But with all the designs finished, that means I can start book 2 as soon as the final episodes are published <3

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[wishful-bear]

PuppetMasterfear This gender is apart of the Genderfear system made by @yumehya. The fear is derived from how one may have experienced such fear in childhood upon seeing The Puppet Master/Cloaked Cavalier from the Scooby Doo, Where Are You? Episode titled "The Backstage Rage". This gender may also feel unsettlingly silent, as if it is stalking you.. Gently pulling the strings to your control, helplessly at the mercy of a lone puppet master.

This was for Day 06 of @svd-mogai's FUCK MY JOB, I QUIT coining event. The prompt for April 28th was: "A term related to a memory that brings you an emotion of any sort, positive or negative."

(Example images of the villain & my thoughts under the cut)

SO SOME INFO ON THIS FUCKER. For years and years as a child I was TERRIFIED of this villain. He doesn't really have an official name (at least not that I ever understood. He was loosely referred to as The Cloaked Cavalier (Shaggy wears this guy's outfit when he and Scooby were rummaging backstage in the costume department trunks and all, and proceeds to call himself "The Cloaked Cavalier" so that what I always called this guy) or The Puppet Master, as Fred mentions "if there's puppets, there must be a puppet master")

The Backstage Rage as an episode appears in a VHS collection called "Scooby Doo's Greatest Mysteries" (I still have my own copy of this VHS!) and it was a fan-vote to pick the greatest episodes of the original series.

(Photos courtesy of the Scoobypedia, as much as I am not a fan of the FANDOM wiki as a company the Scoobypedia has decent scans/images! Please go support them if you're a Scooby fan)

The tape not only came with the 4 episodes, it as listed, came with a set of extras from the series known as "Those Meddling Kids" (which I love and is intergral to my Scooby Doo focused corner of my childhood lol). But this is offtopic. Anyways this episode back then was considered one of the greatest/most popular episodes of the original series! I know a lot of people feared Spooky Space Kook as a whole, but I never was scared of that villain.

But every time I'd get close to the end of the tape, when The Backstage Rage would come on, a sense of dread and fear would wash over me as a kid.. The villain was so creepy. He never really spoke except for laughter that echoed through the theatre in a way, and only truly spoke twice in the whole twenty minute runtime. He was truly scary to me. He wasn't some mystical monster, or being from outer space.. He was a regular man. A human being. A ghoulish looking one but he was regardless... Human. One trying to pose mortal harm to the gang! He tried to hurt Daphne & Velma with a sandbag, and tried to push over a backdrop onto Shaggy & Scooby! He was cunning and very very scary. I'm obviously not afraid of him now, I'm in my 20s and understand better now that he isn't something to be afraid of (at least the CHARACTER himself. Humans are very scary.)

Regardless, holy shit thank you if you read my ramble about Scooby Doo and a childhood fear it gave me. I'm very very normal (/joke) about Scooby Doo.

[kendrixtermina]

Giving Doctor Who a New Chance, Part 3: The Giggle

It's nice that they're bringing back some classic villain, but I really wish they had the Toymaker butcher some other language. The gag is just not funny at all when you actually speak German

Ok, that's an illustrative montage of a mightyfine chaos

IDK what I think of this - set it up in a way that it can be reset again.

oooh, Mel is back! As a 6th Doctor fan, I appreciate this. Did not expect that. She still got that perky way of talking.

Having seen the eps he was in, slipping over a bottle of Vodka is exactly like Sabalon Glitz would die, but hey, at least he lived to a ripe old age.

Donna just landed herself a new job. I guess there's that duality in human's fluctuating confidence levels again cause she glibly asks for double but looks ecstatic that it worked

so, Donna doesn't remember in detail, but she got a rough glimpse

the guy playing the Toymaker IS pulling off the creepy clown act pretty well tho

I really liked that scene between Donna & the Doctor in the infinite cabinet with the Doctor re-evaluating his life choices.

That's another thing that's been missing, that fucking Chibnall didn't get - that the point of him, at the end of the day, is that he's just some guy. Somewhat wiser & tougher than a human, maybe, but still fundamentally just dude with wits & confidence. A trickster, a flawed person trying to do the right thing that through trickery ended up with this fearsome reputation. I used to think of RTD not getting it as much as Moffat did cause he did like overly savior-archetype-like plots sometimes whereas moffat emphasized the 'just a madman with a box' angle, but RTD gets it in this scene where we see the Doctor cringing at his past self for things he couldn't have foreseen & now he doesn't know what to do in a world that doesn't follow predictable rules

Because that's what they don't tell you about getting smarter, wiser or even just older - the price you pay for knowing better today is cringing at the awareness you used to lack. thats very real. you end up thinking you should somehow have known or done better even if you couldnt have.

there's certainly some thematic rhyming with the 'narrowmindedness-plague' afflicting the earth

Donna's dad is actually right. Good for him to be wary of the Hot Hand fallacy and its ilk. Missed a chance for an epic nerd reference

I dunno what to think about the concept of 'shift to fantasy', i wouldnt have done that & really turned more to harder & concept fanfiction, but i suppose it keeps thinks fresh without being repetitive (they cant keep destroying and un-destroying gallifrey all the time...) & the show has always been the very softest of sci-fi anyway - at leasts its set up in a way that it can be reset again or let future writers pick whatever they want. though i suppose it depends on how its done like, if possible without wholly throwing out humanist values. You can absolutely be a trickster in a fantasy story or fight crazy things with logic; Infinity train did it to great effect. I mean, the classics had far wonkier stuff like actual Vampires & whatnot.

i appreciate Donna rhyming while defeating the puppet

"jingsaw out of your history" thing imply that the timeless child thing was an in-universe retcon of sorts? Oh please. I mean I could kinda sorta accept 13 is she literally wasn't really the same character.

between this & the last episode it's pretty close anyway to the "every single backstory is true because of timey wimey ball" thing from the expanded universe fixed, on-screen canon. That I could live with. It's potentially deeply interesting that by virtue of getting tangled up in all the timelines the Doctor has in some ways been to many possible futures & possible versions of reality.

Former companions werent affected by the giggle thing cause it was a retroactive change made by the toymaker upon getting free

It's kinda sad that we'll never get to see the battle between the Master and the Toymaker because that must really have been something. Like two Jokers or Phantoms of the Opera fighting.

this is like when Q showed up on the bridge of the enterprise. Only much deadlier. I appreciate that the scene never stops feeling actually menacing.

I like how Mel also comes in to hold his hand, too, she's for realsies. (I guess this is how she makes up for making him drink all that carrot juice)

The "Alons-y" is a niftly little contrast/ bookend with 10s exit

My headcanon is that bi-generation absolutely WAS a myth, but that this is an extension of the whole breach in the logic/edge of reality storyarc being set up here, or really just the Toymaker thinking it would be fun to double them infinitely

I like how the Doctor mocks the Toymaker's fake accent with 'the ball' thing

The advantage with the ball game is, of course, that Fifteen has already seen it. He's fabulous alright.

I appreciate how they climb on each other at some point

I don't envy Kate, watching this absurd thing... humanity already got somewhat good at taking Sci-Fi threats on their own, but this they don't have context for. Maybe UNIT is gonna need a vault of magical artifacts now. I suppose you can play with that for a few seasons. Like how a contrast of fantasy & sci-fi elements worked in Madoka.

I like how Donna is casually putting her arm around 15

I guess 15 has reached that point where rather than cringe at your younger self you're able to have compassion. That's a good arc, actually.

aaand of course there's the obligatory sequel hook for the Master's return, to the surprise of no one

I like how the years with the lost memory weren't completely lost but Donna still learned something from them that allows her to send this message now

Soo Fifteen is basically taking advantage of the cartoon logic still being in effect until the end of the episode to duplicate the TARDIS. I bet it only worked because he picked the silliest possible hammer.

I appreciate how 15 makes sure to get one last Donna hug.

I do like that it kinda came down to self-love, self-compassion & knowing when to take a restorative break & all that. That's an important message these days.

So, the Nobles just deadass adopted the Doctor & Mel. Makes all the sense.

I always thought of Mel & the Doctor's dynamic as sibling-like (as opposed to Peri & the Doctor having a 'tsundere couple' energy & Ace who of course had a teacher/student thing), so I feel vindicated.

Also I appreciate how an older woman who didn't have kids but spent her life traveling & adventuring & doing what she wanted, & then ended up feeling a bit lonely because of it here simply ends up not lonely by finding friends / found family. Cause that's the fucking annoying gotcha they always hurl at you "Oh if you don't have kids & live the life you want you'll be lonely!" As if you can't have friends. Also, plenty of ppl who do have kids wind up lonely because the kids end up hating them.

I'm all for the Doctor catching a break. Very touching, honestly. & he's like actually a point where he wouldn't just run off & get side-tracked or brood on the inevitability of its end. (like he would have when spent those years with River)

Also sets an interesting background for 15 of course, as he'll be coming out of it 'fully rested', in a sense.

So, yeah, I do think I'm looking forward to what 15 will get up to. It was sort of a great way to introduce him in such a way that ppl will instantly like him for how he comforts his past self here.

It's also probably the ideal ending for Donna, cause, much like Rose & Clara she wanted to stay forever, & maybe now that she has a daughter & other responsibilities she won't want the big danger all the time, but the Unit Job & living with the Doctor in a house? That's prolly what she would have wanted.

(I wonder if they'll end up running into Martha & Mickey at her job, since Donna & Martha were buds that time they met. )