#anyway everyone here probably knows by now that implying that my behavior is weird strange or concerning is the way to my heart

[vulpinesaint]

in reference to the whole "long or short anon about how i feel about you" thing: You're a mutual of mine who is living such a wildly different life than mine but you're genuinely just such a welcome addition to the dash that it's like "ah hey whats bracken being concerning about"

SO amused by and slightly enamoured with this. i am so sure that my actual life is not all that different from any of my mutuals on tumblr like i wake up and go to work and school and like. at most am very transsexual about it. i just happen to come online at the end of the day and be a little insane. anyway love that any given appearance of me on the dash might include reason for concern in relation to any given topic. this ask could be in reference to my poetry or me posting about blood or me like. immediately eating the wrong foods after wisdom teeth surgery. and i think that's beautiful

[unknownzapy]

Author’s Note: I do not support nor condone the actions mentioned in this piece of writing and should stay purely in fiction. This prompt is for entertainment use only. If I missed any triggering topic, please tell me.

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Triggers with Red Bold are especially detailed in these Head-Canons. Viewer discretion is advised.

Trigger/Content Warnings:

Murder

Suicide

Gaslighting

Mental Abuse

Mass Extinction

7 Stages of Grief

Mental Breakdowns

Gatekeeping Trauma

Symptoms of Amnesia

Symptoms of Paranoia

Symptoms of Depression

Declining Mental Health

Implied use of Dark Humor

Declining Physical Health

Symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome

Symptoms of Derealization Disorder

Prompt: Sans The Skeleton (Undertale) with a Gender Neutral Reader who is the Player that did the Genocide Route. This could go either Romantic or Platonic.

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Sans, as a whole, finds you disgusting and revolting in all ways possible. As much as he doesn’t remember every single detail about whatever route you chose and restarted all over again, specifically Genocide in this case, all he knows is that he’s going off on what he can remember. This includes hunches and “bad feelings” when he’s close, or in the same area, with you.

The second time you open up a new game file after a RESET, Sans immediately can’t keep his eyes away from you and keep his distance. The air around you feels familiar, yet so ominous; whenever you come near, he instinctively backs away from you. He’s fairly apprehensive about you, but at the same time willing to talk to you if you hadn’t killed anyone…yet. If you did, he’ll probably tell you that it was out of self defense and make a snarky comment or joke towards you and not the monster.

Anyways, Sans catches on fairly quickly about your behavior. You want to harm/kill monsters, but you just can’t. You want to achieve a True Reset out of guilt, out of curiosity, out of boredom, whatever it is that fills you with, well, DETERMINATION. Whatever it is, The Skeleton has this weird feeling that, once you set free Monsterkind, you’ll destroy their hopes and dreams at their most vulnerable. Including his.

Majority of the time, he knows he can’t do a damn thing about you RESETing over and over again for whatever reason, but at the same time, a piece of him says that you’ll give him and everyone else a real, genuine happy ending. However, and let’s all be real here, Sans is already getting delusional about it.

The very moment you actually do a Genocide route for a second time though, Sans strangely puts his absolute all into the fight when you eventually come to Judgment Hall. He was skeptical about you at first, but took his chance at being patient. Weirdly enough, his attacks were more rough, more wild, less accurate, less within the code…that’s when it clicked. Sans slowly, but surely deviates from his usual laid back and lazy self to a shunned, hard working monster who wants answers. He jumps from blueprints and experiments to theories, lack of severe sleep, and living off of caffeinated coffee.

He doesn’t know why of all sudden he cares so much about you slaughtering everyone, despite claiming he “didn’t care anymore about what happens next.” Call it survival instinct or fight or flight, Sans is going with it to save himself from you, or whatever “allies” you have, but he tries not to dwell on that too much.

Throughout his search of trying to figure you out, his friends grow increasingly worried for him, especially. However, as much as they are worried, Sans brushes it off as “nothing to worry about” and cracks puns about his situation to loosen everyone up.

“I used to be able to pull all-nighters but now I can barely pull all-dayers.”

“People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.”

“I sleep with a knife under my pillow. You never know when someone is going to break in and give you a cake.”

Along with his sanity, Sans’ puns become increasingly deteriorating to questionable to outright concerning. Sure, he does care about the other monsters’ well-being as well, but he’ll give them tough love every once in a while, followed by a wink and a “self aware” hint, letting them do whatever they want with that information.

“I know I’ve been working harder than I usually would, but I wanted to make a change for once and take my little bros advice. Plus, Paps wouldn’t stop complaining ‘bout my sock pile. Anyways, don’tcha have a dinner date to go to?”

With decreased sleep now slapped onto him, Sans is quite dismissive about his attitude to the point where people either get annoyed or leave him alone, both knowing that Sans is better than this. All it takes is time, and as patient as he is, sometimes he wishes that you would RESET and make them forget about his changing behaviors. But you don’t. Knowing you, you want to see the end results about him as much as he does about you. But at the same time, his patience becomes thinner and thinner the more his fellow monsters beg and plead for him to know what’s wrong and offer to help him whatever’s bothering him.

…But he can’t. Sans knows he can’t reveal the truth. Even if he did, no one would believe him except a certain flower. Speaking of which, Sans did try speaking with other boss monsters about his particular predicament. Toriel was overwhelmed with grief and shock, Undyne was pissed more than ever and took her anger out on him verbally and physically, Asgore was more understanding because he knew how many times you’ve died before but still couldn’t comprehend you as a whole different person entirely, Papyrus is out of the question since Sans knows he couldn’t handle the same burden that he bears (plus he couldn’t see Pap dying again, even if it is fruitless anyway), and Mettaton is…well, Mettaton would most likely glorify the situation in hopes of having a better life in the underground and degrade you, the Player’s (and Frisk’s), existence.

Then there’s Alphys. I feel like both of these characters are in the same situation, whereas Sans’ story is hundred times worse than Alphys’. Alphys is to True Lab as much as Sans is to The Player, which makes them click instantly, even if the given circumstances aren’t entirely ideal. Sans being Sans, Alphys unlocked a new sense of humor for coping with hiding with the True Lab (and yes, she shared her secret after reluctantly hearing about Sans’ story since they share an interest in science. I feel like they’ll have a mutual understanding and friendship for each other afterwards).

The two go back and force with the darkest of jokes, morbid of puns, the list goes on. Though, it could only last for so long before something happens. That “something” being the suicide of Alphys. Sans would become shocked, albeit knowing it would happen eventually, deep down inside. Alphys did take it better than the others, although in an extremely toxic form.

Maybe it was his fault that Alphys died, only going towards her for personal comfort instead of genuine thought. At first, Sans was shocked at her suicide, surprisingly the only person to know about her death, excluding you. He wanted to take proper vengeance for her, but considering everything, it would be in vain but to continue living for her sake, chipping his mentality away more and more as he did so. After that very moment, the monster began to deny the very existence of you. Then His peers. Then His friends. His brother, too. Even himself.

Sans abruptly stops his little investigation about you and throws it all away, finding it all useless, considering you’ll just RESET all over again which will take him back to square one. He bottles all these intense emotions under wraps until he absolutely shatters, breaking down into heated tears of both hatred and anger and deep depression with him flinching at the slightest of movement from anyone around him. All happiness and dedication of surviving is now dissolved into guilt, rage, and paranoia.

Sans doesn’t have any reason to be alive anymore. Not if you’re still here, anyway. Even if you do “leave” after everything, after being “curious” enough, the after effects you made and mental scars you leave on him is immeasurable. He gaslights himself that he didn’t go through that kind of trauma, he gaslights himself that you never existed, he even gaslights himself that he’s perfectly “normal” and everything around him is “real as he can understand.”

Sans, after departure, still clings to you like a parasite, sadly. You’re the only thing that can control this timeline of his. He needs you. Your laws and actions are basically law to him now, even if it is worst case scenario. You’re more real than anything else to him.

He tries to fill this void in him, which is completely linked to instinct and survival. By doing so, he oftentimes takes from or harm others, unintentionally speaking, due to his utter lack of self control that comes with his desperation to feel “whole” again.

There are things that we need in life, and then things that we simply want. And with you, there’s no real line to that, which is why his lack of self control for living is so dangerous. If he feels like he needs something more than someone else wants something, then there’s a good chance he’s not going to back down. What it really is, rather than just a need to survive, it’s a need to live and experience the things around him, unironically speaking.

As fucked up as it is, Sans is devoid of his former self, a husk of twisted humor and unhinged mentality who would do anything to survive, even if it costs him to live off of the most dangerous creatures around him. All it takes is time to ease his way towards appreciating you a little more, right?

[carmensbroom]

I've once again had 6 hours to process everything I saw in season 4 so I'm just gonna say my thoughts on it (hold onto your fedoras again folks)

first off, WE FOUND OUT GRAY'S LAST NAME?? I was so shocked and happy at the same time I love how everyone asked for player's real name and we ended up with gray's surname for some reason shsjsj. NOBODY ASKED FOR THAT BUT THEY DELIVERED ANYWAY

ALSO GRAHAM IS AN ORPHAN?? my precious boy *throws mommy's boy headcanon out the window*

the second episode really had me shipping carmivy they're so cute we got a girl's trip and I'm all for it

I think I may now be a dash haber stan but let's not make a big thing of it

also ivy eating the chocolate in the middle of a mission deserves an honorable mention because of her cute little tongue (I'm weird okay djsjsjs)

zack trying to bond with shadowsan and him having none of it was delightful

that fucking robot god damn bellum really thought of everything didn't she every time I thought it was gone it made a come back I literally said out loud "carmen is so fucked"

I SWEAR TO GOD EVERY TIME GRAY TALKED ABOUT CARMEN I KEPT THINKING HE WAS GONNA SAY "BECAUSE I LOVE HER" IN WHICH CASE I WOULD HAVE DIED AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY

yall have no idea how relieved I was when I found out that photo of julia was her and her (presumably) mother and NOT a boyfriend sjsjsjs

catch me making a headcanon that julia has a single mom because her father disowned her for coming out as gay based on that picture alone 😭

I'M SORRY BUT THE AMOUNT OF FLIRTING BETWEEN CARMEN AND JULES?? PLEASE THEY'RE SECRET GIRLFRIENDS JUST ADMIT YOU CENSORED THEM AND GO

OKAY BUT WHEN THEY WERE IN JULIA'S OFFICE AND CARMEN SAID "WAY TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART JULES" AND SHE WAS LIKE "YOU REMEMBERED" I LOST IT WHAT DID CARMEN REMEMBER JULES?? DID THEY HAVE A CONVERSATION OFF SCREEN? MAYBE I'M JUST A BIG HUGE LESBIAN BUT THAT'S A BIT GAY LADIES

carmen getting all worried when julia wasn't answering her phone was the blessed gay content I signed up for PLEASE THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH

never thought I'd say this but I loved devineaux this season he was funny, he improved his treatment towards julia (I don't recall him officially apologising I must have missed something djsjsjs)

the only thing I didn't like was it kinda seemed like they were trying to hint that chase and jules were into each other and I didn't really vibe with that

all that shit with dr bellum and the crown for cleo really had me thinking cleobellum was gonna be canon what a clown I am (seriously tho the way she lost it when the crown got stolen GIVE IT BACK IT BELONGS TO HER WIFE)

look all I'm saying is: tigress new outfit in the egypt episode was hot

HER FACE AT THE END AFTER SHE GOT TRAPPED WITH ALL THOSE BUGS

I wish julia and gray could have met there's so much friendship potential there 😭

is player... is he a bit 💅 I SEE THAT PRIDE STICKER ON YOUR LAPTOP YOUNG MAN YOU'RE NOT SUBTLE

ngl I nearly teared up when player finally met carmen in person

I'M SORRY BUT JULIA'S BLUSH IN EPISODE 7 PLEASE SHE'S SO SMITTEN WITH CARMEN IT'S BRILLIANT

EVIL CARMEN WAS REALLY SOMETHING ELSE I WAS SO SCARED SHE'D BE STUCK LIKE THAT FOREVER

I mentioned this in another post but when julia was like "don't you remember me? I'm your girlfriend friend, jules" I NEARLY FUCKING CRIED THEY WERE GETTING KINDA CLOSE AND THEN CARMEN GOT MIND WIPED

JULIA TOPS JULIA TOPS I SAID IT ALL ALONG AND IT'S TRUE SHE REALLY PINNED VILE CARMEN THAT'S TOP BEHAVIOR (also this now makes carmen a bottom I don't make the rules)

kinda shocked that paper star was hardly here I don't stan her so it didn't bother me much but still it was just strange they didn't use her this season

when shadowsan whipped out the last doll and carmen had all those flashbacks to when she was at vile I nearly started crying AGAIN

I LEGIT THOUGHT CARMEN HAD KILLED GRAY DJSJSJS AN ELECTRICIAN GETTING ELECTROCUTED THAT'S SOME IRONY RIGHT THERE

gray really confused me towards the end he kept switching sides every five minutes for the whole season I wasn't sure whether to trust him half the time dhshsjs

THE LOOK ON CARMEN'S FACE WHEN SHE THOUGHT SHE'D KILLED GRAY WAS SO HEARTBREAKING AND THEN SHE STARTED CRYING OH MY GOD I'M SORRY BABY

the way she's always been against hurting people/taking lives and then she ended up hurting all the people she loves (she nearly killed zack for god sake) really hit me hard

gray's ending was... kinda weird I understood the parallel of him not wanting to complicate carmen's life like she said about him in season 2 but it was still kinda strange that they didn't have one more conversation or get any closure

I'm obviously kinda upset that carulia wasn't canon they had so much potential imo and the show isn't about romance anyway BUT I'm happy with the content we got and THEY FLIRTED SO MUCH THEY'RE CANON IN MY HEART

THE TEAM RED GROUP HUG KILLED ME IT WAS SO CUTE

kinda annoyed that carmen just straight up left zack and ivy she really just left a note and said YEET

ivy's voice crack when she read the note got me all choked up

ngl I'm still not entirely sure how it ended I had to rewatch it a few times to understand what they were trying to imply sjsjsj

would have loved to know carmen's given name but at the same time she's literally THE carmen sandiego that's who she is, it would be silly to go by a name that she doesn't connect with just because her parents gave her it

her mom being a regular citizen was kinda bittersweet I mean a plot twist would have been good but at the same time it would make the story even more complicated

*dreams of a spinoff movie where we get better closure on everything*

ACME IVY ACME IVY I'M NOT AN IVY STAN BUT DAMN IF I AIN'T SIMPING FOR ACME IVY

I know carmen didn't want revenge but I feel like chief got let off with killing her father way too quickly if I'm honest sjsjsj

JULIA BEING IN CHARGE OF FINDING CARMEN'S MOM OH MY GOSH

I feel so bad for laughing when julia got knocked out the way the cloth fell on her head sent me but when the pole hit her head I was like "OKAY I TAKE IT BACK THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE"

was not expecting julia to physically fight anyone I mean she's always been so calm and collected and then this season she was like fuck it might as well hit a few people before we finish forever

wishing carmen and jules could have hugged or had a scene together where they talked about stockholm but I won't complain it wouldn't have really made sense anyway considering they were cool with each other at the university

so glad the trailer was misleading about the coach brunt situation I really didn't want her to get a last minute redemption

another honorable mention: cleo snapping at julia "DON'T YOU DARE IMPLY THAT I AM COMMON" sent me djdjs she was just stood there like "I am but a humble history lesbian leave me be"

I think that's everything I'll probably add to it later if I think of anything or I might make a part 2 djsjsjs (I've been writing this for almost an hour now 😭)

overall I enjoyed it from start to finish. I haven't really cried about it ending yet I'm still processing everything but I'll probably have a little sob when it finally hits me djsjsjs

CARULIA NATION WE BASICALLY WON NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I REWATCH ALL THEIR SCENES TOGETHER AND MAKE IT MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY

[dreamingofscully]

6x16. “Alpha” - X-Files Rewatch

This episode is all about Scully being the Alpha, who marks her territory (Mulder). What casefile? Through this lens, I really enjoy this episode. You wouldn’t think there would be much to analyze here BUT BOY YOU'D BE WRONG. Also, there’s so many corny jokes, I love it.

Scully arriving from elsewhere in the building with her coat/briefcase seems to indicate she has an office elsewhere in the building. Perhaps she requested somewhere close to the labs? It’s super cute that she comes by to check on Mulder before she leaves. Despite how uncomfortable she was with his silliness in “Arcadia”, I think things are good between them now.

“Aren't you going home?” - Scully “I am home. I'm just feathering the nest.” - Mulder

This is cute, but also kinda sad. The work is his life, how can it be any different?

Mulder subtly trying to get Scully interested in the case. 

The desk lamp is POINTED AT THEIR PICTURE. Awww. ❤️

“What happened to the dog?” - Scully “Dog gone…. Dog gone… Doggone.” - Mulder, proud of his joke “Yeah, I got it.” - Scully

Sitting closely, and Mulder being even more of a dork than usual with his corny jokes. Scully loves it though. They’re so happy to have the X-Files back. Life is good for a little while.

THEIR CUTE SMILES AND FLIRTING ❤️

“Don’t mind him, he’ll go on forever.” - Scully

Mulder has definitely missed going on long monologues about weird shit in front of local law enforcement.

Of course Mulder’s heard of the animal. He has had even more time than usual lately to cram his brain with random strange things.

“You get a biscuit, Scully.” - Mulder, with more stupid jokes. But he’s gazing at her here, so we’ll forgive him. I’m not even mad about it anyways.

Their cute banter in front of the worker installing the fence at Karins. SO FLIRTY. (Also, being mistaken for a couple again!)

“You two looking for Karin about boarding?” - Stacy Muir “No, it's actually more of a behavior problem.” - Mulder “Yeah, he doesn't listen and he chews on the furniture.” - Scully, glancing at Mulder

Inside Karin’s house, Mulder’s random touch and Scully’s shiver in reaction. Reminiscent of his two-handed touch in “Arcadia” - is that done deliberately? Scully doesn’t seem uncomfortable, but shivers in reaction, as if she definitely enjoys it. Oof. Things are REALLY good between them.

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 1:

“How is it that you know so much about her but you don't know what she looks like?” - Scully “I never actually met her.” - Mulder “But you assume that she's going to help us?” - Scully “No, actually, it's not an assumption. She is the one who told me about his case.” - Mulder “Oh, so you two are chummy?” - Scully “Well, I've read her books.” - Mulder “Ah. The Wolf Inside... Dogs Don't Lie... Better Than Human... Better Than Human?” - Scully “She's not a real people person.” - Mulder “Well, she seems to have made a connection to you.” - Scully, looking at the I Want To Believe poster on her wall (highlighting it with a desk lamp, sound familiar?)

Standing close by the bookshelf.

Mulder introducing himself as “Fox”, what? It probably has to do with her obsession with canines. They probably joked about his name, and it’s what she would refer to him as in their emails.

This would make Scully feel even more uncomfortable/jealous

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 2:

“Mulder... She's a friend of yours?” - Scully “We met on-line.” - Mulder “On-line…” - Scully “Two professionals exchanging information.” - Mulder

Standing close in the alley/crime scene.

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 3:

Her expression when Karin shows up, and calling her “wolfwoman”. (Recognize this? She made a similar face in “Syzygy”.)

Karin’s “Classic dominant alpha territorial behaviour” when talking about the police officer being killed.

By contrast, Scully doesn’t need to be aggressive or violent to assert her dominance - just needs to exist. ❤️

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 4:

Mulder touching Karin’s hand on the computer mouse. Scully notices, shoots Mulder a sharp look. She immediately starts questioning Karin’s ideas. Her EXPRESSION. She thinks she’s figured Karin out, that she is attracted to Mulder, and she’s not going to let her get away with anything. It’s not only possessiveness but protectiveness. She only recently got Mulder away from the clutches of Diana, and she knows how vulnerable he is to women that seem vulnerable themselves.

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 5:

In the car, Mulder knowing something’s wrong with Scully

Scully warning him: “She's enamored of you, Mulder. Don't underestimate a woman. They can be tricksters, too.” (I think this is also a veiled reference to Diana, that Mulder does NOT get, nor is he meant to.)

Mulder is gullible and oblivious when it comes to certain women, and Scully knows it!

Mulder gives her a curious look - thinks she’s jealous, perhaps?

Scully won’t tolerate anyone trying anything with Mulder, she’s fucking had it. After dealing with Diana so recently - no one else is going to try anything. She’s getting ahead of something before it develops. Mulder is empathetic with people who are different/loners (Oubliette/Mind’s Eye). He CAN be manipulated by a woman with a sad story.

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 6:

Going to see Karin alone, confronting her about her intentions with Mulder. Look at that lean forward.

Scully’s “With Mulder, you found somebody you could communicate with.... someone who challenged you... But that wasn't enough. You needed to lure him out here.”

She knows what having a special connection to him feels like!

Karin’s “I lack your feminine wiles.” (Which is hilarious, because when it comes to Mulder, Scully doesn’t have ANY of that manipulativeness that she implies.)

“I'm watching you.” - Scully “You watch... But you don't see.” - Karin

Perhaps Karin did mean to lure Mulder out here to meet him, and she does lie about the creature. HOWEVER...

Once she sees Mulder and Scully together, she abandons her ideas of deepening her relationship with him. She sees what everyone else does - that M&S are incredibly close, that their body language and glances to each other suggest that the only person in the room that matters to each other is them. Karin’s suggestion here (to the case I’m sure) is also a reference to what Scully can’t see is right in front of her - that there’s no reason for her to be territorial because Mulder only has eyes for her.

I also believe Mulder would have mentioned Scully to Karin. She’s such an integral part of his life. Once Scully shows up, things “click” for her, she understands that she has no chance.

Mulder trusts Scully’s judgement, goes to see Karin for himself and asks about being misled. (This is a pretty big deal.)

Karin - she loves Mulder, in her way. He's a kindred spirit, like Scully says, the only other human she knows that she actually likes. Once she realizes that he belongs to another, that he has someone who is a good person (based on how her dogs react to her) and will look out for him, she realizes what she needs to do to stop the animal - risk and (potentially) sacrifice herself. After lying to Mulder about what she thinks the animal will do next, and he goes to Scully, she LOOKS AT THE “I WANT TO BELIEVE” POSTER. Did she choose to wrap it up and send it then? In essence, disconnecting herself from him, and giving him a gift as her last goodbye?

I love that Mulder calls Scully to the hospital so they can do the surveillance TOGETHER. ❤️ Mulder’s “You should take a load off. We might be here all night.”

Scully’s “So, what is he going to do? Walk in here, skitter across the linoleum and pee in the corners?” is so cute. And Mulder loves it when she jokes. Like I said earlier, they are in a good place again.

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 7:

“Mulder, the only thing Karin Berquist is interested in is you.” - Scully, to which Mulder seems bashful about it. He’s so oblivious about women being interested in him. It’s adorable.

When Scully takes his magazine she sits a bit further from him than normal. She’s uncomfortable with her jealousy, tries to distance herself from it’s source.

Of course Scully falls asleep. ❤️ I love how she can sleep anywhere. She’s SNORING (quietly) - IT’S SO CUTE I CAN’T EVEN--. 😭 He’s gazing at her while she sleeps, then wakes her gently with the magazine. ❤️

At the ending, Scully’s tenderness about Mulder losing his friend is touching. The whole episode she was antagonistic towards Karin, thinking she had an ulterior motive, but in the end she did something altruistic. She was Mulder’s friend, and proved that in the end she wasn’t a bad person, at least in some ways. Scully knows he’ll blame himself, as well.

They have a really sweet interaction here. Scully making sure he’s okay, Mulder reassuring that he will be, talking about how he “believed her too quickly”. (He is a learning animal. Oh shit I made another corny joke, my b.)

The lamp is still aimed at the picture of them in the office. Like a fucking spotlight saying “THIS PLACE IS OURS.”

Scully Being Territorial, End Notes

I’m partially being silly when talking about this aspect of Scully’s personality, but I have to discuss a few things.

After the shit they’ve been through with Diana, I can’t blame Scully for overreacting and being protective of Mulder, not wanting to see him manipulated again.

That being said, this isn’t the first time she’s been possessive when it comes to him. I think it’s probably one of her flaws - she can get irrationally jealous when Mulder gets attention from another woman. It’s NOT just protectiveness but stems from her longing for something more with him, her fear that someone will swoop in and take the place in his life that she wants. I can empathize with that, I suffer from terrible jealousy sometimes myself (so perhaps this is a bit of self-projection, but hey, this is my analysis, so that’s what I see).

I absolutely love Scully, but I love that she seems like a real character, with flaws and eccentricities that truly make her unique.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “ What Death Tastes Like” Part 5

Scarecrow’s daughter might be only 22, yet the terminal lung cancer she was diagnosed with six months ago didn’t discriminate against her age; the young woman didn’t show worrisome symptoms until it was too late. Y/N always had a fascination for the much older King of Gotham and despite the consequences, maybe it’s finally time to do something about it.

Part 1    Part 2   Part 3     Part 4

The Joker feels his face covered in soft kisses and although generally speaking he loves being pampered, this particular instance awakens his self-defense mechanism.

“What time is it?” J mutters.

“Let me see,” you stretch for your phone. “12:03 am.”

“I should go,” he lifts his head up from the pillow and you pull him back in your arms, yawning.

“Stay for a little bit longer, ok?”

“Why?”

“I wish to hold on to my birthday present for a few more minutes,” Y/N pleads with the man she senses doesn’t want to be there anymore. “Don’t worry, I’m aware it was a casual affair,” your sad smile prompts a completely out of context answer:

“If you noticed I fell asleep, you should have woken me up!” The King of Gotham complains.

“I fell asleep also,” you snuggle to him and since J is suddenly quiet you whisper. “It was amazing.”

He keeps staring which makes you wonder what the hell is going on in his mind right now.

“At least for me,” you underline after you grasp he won’t comment on the subject; you didn’t have a clue he’ll convert the night you spent together into awkwardness for no reason. “Get out of my tent!” you snap at his behavior, irritated. “Get out!” you shove him and The Clown Prince of Crime doesn’t budge.

“Why are you mad?” he finally addresses the annoyed Y/N.

“Because you’re a jerk!”

“Come again?!” The Joker frowns and Scarecrow’s daughter has a clever response; she doesn’t share his genes for nothing.

“I would but I guess you’re not a big fan of us having sex a second time!!!”

“Wow!” J bitterly scoffs. “You sure can twist a guy’s words, huh? If you really must pry into my personal life, I’ll have you know that I’m not used with small talk afterwards, understand?”

While you wonder if he’s bluffing, you can’t help offer the benefit of doubt served with a side of insolence.

“Well, maybe if you would give it a try with someone that actually cares, you’d have stuff to discuss.”

“Miss Crane, what makes you think Mara doesn’t like me?”

The Joker expects a feisty reply to his audacious remark yet he receives a piece of sturdy logic instead:

“If she was crazy in love, she wouldn’t agree and with this on and off relationship you two have.”

J is obviously displeased at your statement thus Y/N has to unleash her creativity in order to push him comprehend what she’s aiming at.

“The problem is you don’t approach anything important, you only shut down everyone. Even Emma believes she’s not yours.”

The King of Gotham was preparing to lash out but your latest sentence totally catches him off guard.

“What do you mean?!”

“You never talk about her mother granted she keeps asking so Emma presumes you probably stole her from an individual you consider your enemy and raised her as revenge.”

“Huh?!” The Joker gets on his elbow, appalled. “She is my daughter!”

“I say that to her when she panics, unfortunately random people do look similar…,” you twirl a strand of his green hair around your fingers. “Steering clear from issues we’re uncomfortable with doesn’t necessarily result in a positive outcome,” Y/N concludes and her partner is not excited at all.

“Are you psychoanalyzing me?!”

“I’m a Crane,” you peck his lips. “It’s in our blood.”

A lot of thoughts rushing behind those blue eyes and you’re confident his patience is running low; add a short fuse to the combo and according to your flawless instinct J will bite soon.

“Take me for example,” you attempt to cram in the main point of your dialogue before it happens. “I don’t care you’re older, I fancy your company nevertheless: you’re super handsome plus emotionally unattractive…”

“I’m what?!” The Joker interrupts.

“Umm… emotionally unattractive?” you hesitantly repeat while watching him jump off the pillows and start to collect his clothes in the semi darkness.

“Serves me right for sleeping with somebody half my age!” he growls at the young woman realizing she upset him with her rant.

“So you’re 46?” you struggle to joke at his affirmation.

“Listen here, Miss Crane!” J dresses in a hurry, angry at your stunt. “If you imagine you figured me out, you didn’t!! Nobody fucks with me!” he violently kicks the mattress and you can’t avoid it:

“I think I just did. Literally.”

The hate in his demeanor makes you regret opening up; your goal was to imply you like him no matter what yet the aftermath is way off what you intended.

“I apologize, OK?” you sigh and reach your hand for his.

“I hope you perish!” he strikes your fingers with such brutality it stings. “You’re dying anyway but hopefully the Cromyxillium kills you faster!” The Joker unzips the tent and leaves a shocked Y/N breathless at his hurtful tirade.

“That’s all you got? Stupid old man…” you whimper and cuddle under the thin blanket with his cushion.

Grief is not the correct term to describe what you experience for the moment: a perfect birthday turned into exactly the opposite in a blink of an eye simply because The Joker proved once more he has no concept on how to handle dynamite; fire suits him better.

***************

Next morning, 10:14am

“Are you hot or cold?” your father inquires since your intravenous therapy commenced 10 minutes ago.

“No,” you gaze at the IV bag and Jonathan lingers by your bed, reminding his offspring about their plan.

“We’ll do 3 hours on, 3 hours off; I’ll monitor your vitals and if you feel strange alert me immediately, deal?”

You nod a yes and his perseverance in aiding you with your terminal cancer evokes a sincere confession:

“Daddy…Thank you for trying to save me…I’m sorry I’m a burden…”

“A burden?!” Scarecrow mumbles.

There are a million facts you should evoke, yet the predominant one keeps hunting you.

“You buried yourself in the lab because of me…and Evelyn left…”

“Evelyn and I broke up for various motives,” your parent grumbles. “Saying I immersed myself into working because of you hints that I was forced into it against my will which is not true. I did everything out of love… I can’t bear the idea of losing you,” he kisses your temple; you wrap your free arm around his neck, squeezing him tight.

“You’re the best dad; I’m lucky you’re my father. If I die… you think mom is waiting for me?...”

Jonathan Crane has the weird sensation he’s choking; his wife died after you were born due to leukemia, now their daughter is fighting for survival: she’s plainly the last fortress separating him from utter madness.

“I couldn’t save your mother, but I’ll be damned if I let you die kid,” he caresses your cheek. “She can wait; I bet she’s not eager to take you with her,” Scarecrow reassures his daughter. “Rest honey.”

“I will…” you consent and Emma barging in the bedroom with her duffle bag switches your attention.

“I’m here, I’m here!” she exclaims. “Traffic was horrible, bad accident on the freeway!”

**************

11 am

“Are you comfortable?” Emma checks with her friend, not entirely certain how to bring up a very delicate topic clouding her usually bubbly disposition.

“Of course,” you smile and she wiggles in her recliner. “Are you?” you wink at her visible restlessness as you attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

“Y/N…,” she taps the fluffy carpet with her feet. “Mmmm… last night after we returned from the river I dropped by to see how you’re doing and… I came to your tent…,” Emma pauses seeing the stupefied expression on your face. “I…I found my father sleeping in there with you…”

You lick your lips and strain to keep your calm even if your heart is pounding out of your chest.

“Did my dad take advantage of you?” she lowers her voice and you can tell she’s torn apart by the horrible notion.

“He didn’t,” you shake your head.

“Dumb girl…” Emma admonishes without any trace of resentment; what else can she articulate in these circumstances regardless?  

“I can’t believe I’m inquiring… Did you use protection?”

“No…It just happened…”

“Oh my God!” the concerned judgement pressures you to continue:

“It didn’t end well so it’s fair to assume we’re not in any danger of me becoming your stepmom,” your tone diminishes and she leans over to scold when The Joker passes by the opened door without bothering to peek inside your bedroom; you didn’t spot him but Emma did.

“I’ll be back!” she hisses and you’re confused at her desire to leave you.

“Hey, where are you going?”

She ignores your question and races after The King of Gotham, catching up with him at the end of the long corridor.

“Dad!” Emma shouts and he turns around.

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?!” she interrogates the clueless Joker.

“I’m meeting Crane. Is he downstairs?”

“In his lab compounding the next batch of Cromyxillium for Y/N,” she fumes at J’s impertinence. “Didn’t you forget something?”

He seems puzzled and Emma is not tricked by his deceiving performance.

“My best friend is in her quarters, uncertain if she’ll survive the cancer treatment. Are you pretending she doesn’t exist?”

“Meaning?” The Joker sneers.

“I know you slept with her!” the accusation follows instantly. “Don’t deny it! How could you take advantage of her?!”

The Clown Prince of Crime straightens his shoulders, aware he can’t negotiate his innocence out of this complicated riddle.

“I did not take advantage of her! How dare you accuse me of such low move?”

“You didn’t?” Emma closes the gap between them. “You know she has a crush on you and she’s vulnerable; what type of man would prey on that?!”

J is not thrilled with the innuendos and cuts her off:

“She basically begged for some and I obliged out of pity!”

Emma slaps him and The Joker gasps, enraged she had the audacity:

“Do that again and I’ll neglect you’re my daughter!” he growls and the serious threat doesn’t faze her.

“Hurt her more and I’ll forget you’re my father! If you are indeed my father,” she emphasizes while stomping away towards the kitchen.

“I am your father!” J simmers at her impeccable strategy: Emma is retreating to a different corner of the house giving him the opportunity to choose.

Who the heck knows if she’s actually his?

One thing is undeniable though: they share the same despicable temper.

****************

You discern The Joker in the doorway and your body stiffens; you stare at the TV screen wishing he’ll disappear.

“Where’s Crane?” J analyzes Y/N’s IV pole.

You don’t engage so his crankiness emerges.

“I suppose you didn’t flatlined yet!”

“Nope,” you grunt at the provocative declaration that served its goal: you did reply to The Clown’s rubbish.

“Where’s Crane?”

“I heard you the first time and I’m not sure why you focus your energy on a useless interrogation. You know where my father is!”

“Where?” The Joker’s vile attitude can’t compromise for less than instigating his fling.

“Please take your stuff that’s firm now but will get saggy in maximum 20 years and vanish!” the poisonous remark makes him groan.

“What stuff?!”

You check him out glaring at his mid-section before dismissing his presence.

“That’s the rudest fucking criticism ever!” The Joker barks and Y/N crabbily indicates:

“It’s not criticism, it’s reality! Gravity’s a bitch! Mara won’t mind, won’t she? After all, you two share a very special bond: on today, off tomorrow, hookup next week, take a break next month. Such dreamy relationship!”

“Do you have more derogatory references to my private life?!” J grinds his teeth ready to unleash several atrocities your way.

“No, too busy dying…” you show him the needle in your arm. “I don’t feel the pain from the medication burning my veins; I’m used with my sickness, with the ups and downs. What I do feel is the pain of being taken for granted.”

The Joker is not a fan of the insinuated context.  

“You said no strings attached!” he stresses the lack of commitment consented the previous evening.

“You’re the one that came to me; I thought it meant you were accepting to be the center of my universe.”

J ogles the ceiling of Y/N’s bedroom and assembles a couple of harsh disclosures in his brain when her entitled smirk halts the project.

“You’re buying it, aren’t you?” you chuckle at his astonishment. “I’m just messing with you Mister Joker; who in their right mind would make you the center of their universe?! You have 10 seconds to leave, otherwise I’ll scream and security will come!” you shelter your head with the quilt so you don’t have to see his mug anymore.

No outpour of vexation from his part which is cool: means he bailed.

The blanket is slowly pulled until your eyes emerge; J hovers your face, pissed at the unwelcomed clash.

“I’m checking if you kicked the bucket; corpses are usually covered thus my dilemma.”

“Go away!” you advise. “Or I’ll scream!”

You inhale preparing to yell: The Joker didn’t predict you’d defy him and he swiftly kisses you in order to stop the sounds.

The door is cracked and Emma witnesses the scene, reckoning bizarre elements:

Her father holds grudges and was mad at Y/N earlier due to whatever happened yesterday; nevertheless he still kissed her.

On the other hand, you were definitely miserable after your escapade, yet you didn’t reject him.

Emma may not be informed about the entire story, but one detail is crystal clear: the future is far from being simple.

 Also read: MASTERLIST

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: “A Night Off”

So RWBY has this weird thing going on in Volume 7 where it’ll give me a truly horrendous episode and then manage to turn things around just enough so that, despite my frustrations, I quite like parts of the next week’s stuff. That proceeds to get my hopes up, only for them to turn around mess it all up again in the following episode.

What I’m saying is, I should expect next week to be a pretty rough ride.

First, let me chuck out the details I personally loved in this episode that fit better together than spread out across a recap. Namely, treating Oscar like an actual human being. Thank you, Rooster Teeth, for:

Having him continually be involved by monitoring Jaune’s aura levels. (It likewise hasn’t escaped my notice how much he’s been paired with JNR lately. The fandom might get their new ‘P’ after all.)

Giving Oscar some thoughts and feelings beyond just the Ozpin situation. He’s worried about not having his semblance yet. Hark! A characterization!

Nora very kindly firing back with, “Well, I bet we’ll all be jealous when you do.”

Yang using Oscar as a convenient armrest. Granted, Yang hasn’t exactly treated him well enough lately to have earned that kind of casual buddy-buddy-ness, but if the writing is never going to call the group out on their Volume 6 behavior then I’ll take unearned kindness over continued indifference or cruelty

Jaune going out to the movies with Oscar and them both inviting Weiss. I mean, same issue here. Why is Oscar so comfortable and eager to hang out with the guy who attacked him? I wish that we had some acknowledgment that these kinds of things don’t just disappear once someone apologizes. Jaune still hurt Oscar, badly enough to leave him flinching against a wall... and none of that even takes into account Oscar’s supposed hesitation about lying to Ironwood. He should be acting more like Ren, involved with the group yet wary at the same time.

In addition, keep in mind that Oscar is currently living in this happy bubble where everyone has chosen to forget that Ozpin exists. I’m still highly suspicious of how they’ll treat him once Ozpin is out in the open again and Oscar is the convenient scapegoat for their anger. As said though, for now I’ll take it. I mean, look at that smile.

Right. Onto the actual plot.

We open on the aftermath of the Mantle riots, which is somewhat disappointing. I had hoped the group would actually be involved in that, giving them the chance to tackle a situation where brute force can’t be the go-to answer. You can’t punch out desperate citizens or run them through with your scythe. Instead, Ironwood’s men are handling it and we reconvene with the group the next day, election day. For the record, we know it has only been a day---and not longer rioting as I initially assumed---because Weiss comments that her father dropped that bombshell “the day before the election.” Which for me just speaks to how much time must have passed during those training montages. The political parts of this volume couldn’t have happened in any short amount of time. 

We’re shown an interview with Hill wherein she quite firmly doesn’t condone the rioting, but admits that there are good reasons for it as well. Her body guard stands very awkwardly in the background in a way I don’t think the shot really needs.

We then segue back into the group training and, like I mentioned above with Oscar, there are a lot of details here that I really enjoyed. Two of which are Weiss creating a mini version of her knight to sneak up on Winter---yes, please show us this kind of creativity in the actual fights---and Nora and Jaune practicing with a rubber ball. Ren is also deep in meditation while all this going on, which raises some questions about how aware of the world he is in this state. Is he able to simply ignore all the commotion, even Ruby flying straight at him? Is he so deep down that he’s entirely disconnected until he resurfaces? If so, does he only meditate like this when he’s 100% sure he’s in a safe place? Would the group be able to wake him if something were to happen?

As you can see, I’m obviously a little too invested in details and world building lol.

Speaking of world building though, we learn a little bit more about semblances here. Namely that, like hinted at in Volume Five and recently with Harriet, all their semblances are “evolving.” Jaune can apparently regenerate his own aura now, much more quickly than he could before. And Ruby...

Okay, real talk. Did I miss something here? It’s entirely possible I did, but if not what even was that conversation between Ruby and Oscar? She flies at the pillar Ren is seated under, divides into three rose petal clusters to get around it, and recombines on the other side. You know, the thing we’ve known she can do for a long while now. Since Volume Four I believe. Except then we get this exchange:

Oscar: Have you always been able to do that?

Ruby: I don’t know. I don’t normally think it through that much.

What are you talking about? Of course you know, Ruby! This isn’t a new technique. And what do you mean by, “I don’t normally think it through that much”? Is the writing trying to imply that she’s done the split thing so instinctively in the past she didn’t even notice she was doing it? I’m just massively confused by this moment. Others have pointed out that the writing tends to make up easy to solve “problems” for the cast to deal with so it looks like they’re achieving some kind of growth. The most egregious example being Ruby’s lack of hand-to-hand in Volume 5, culminating in a single headbutt against Mercury. Notably, this supposed flaw hasn’t resurfaced at all since then. Not even, say, when she’s at a party without her weapon and Tyrian attacks...

This feels like another moment where they just threw out something random to make it look like Ruby is improving alongside with the other, actual developments they’ve managed to think through, such as Jaune’s aura. Which is particularly strange considering Ruby was set up as the one to evolve her semblance. Which will probably still happen... but why paint an old skill as new along the way? It’s just all very strange.

Anyway, we get a nice shot of Ren coming out of his meditation where the whole world is gray like when he activates his semblance. Excellent visual cue as to his emotional state. This continues as Ironwood arrives and the group lays into him about needing to trust Hill. Which is hilarious considering that none of them are currently trusting Ironwood. He points out that common ground can only exist “if she’s open too”---unlikely given the second half of the episode---and Nora is about to challenge that when Ren interrupts, asking about mission assignments. Ironwood announces that they’re getting the night off instead.

Note though how guilty Ruby looks after all that talk of trusting others.

We cut to the girls later that night in their room, listening to the election news and getting ready to go out. It’s all very cute, but I think Nora is onto something regarding how Blake and Yang are always together. It’s so blatantly obvious they’re falling for one another, especially after this episode, and I’m honestly thrilled we’re finally getting some queer rep beyond former villains and minor characters. However, I hope that as Blake and Yang’s relationship develops that the writers don’t completely lose track of their co-dependency issues as well. Meaning, Yang totally wrote Blake off because she “ran away,” AKA went home precisely like Yang did, warping a natural and understandable choice into a personal betrayal. Blake in turn broke down sobbing and promised Yang to never ever leave her again. Separation is not a new issue for them. Their desire to spend every waking moment together is definitely cast as romantic now, but it’s also tied up in their inability to function well without each other. As we saw recently, a throwaway comment about fighting with someone else generates legitimate anger in both of them. Couples have to be able to spend time apart, so I hope the writing eventually lets the girls work through all that as well. 

For now though, they’re going dancing with FNKI. Very bad dancing based on what little we see. It’s enough to convince Weiss that the movies are her best choice here. Especially since she’s clearly not interested in Hill’s preemptive victory party. We see a tiny bit of that tension between Weiss’ views and Nora’s, but nothing with any substance. We just keep getting tiny glimpses that Nora is potentially passionate about the people of Mantle before it’s all quickly overshadowed by her romance drama with Ren. More on that in a moment.

The two of them plus Ruby make their way out into the streets where Ren admits that, “We spent so much time worrying about how Ironwood would react to the truth about [Salem], but have any of us even considered how we’re going to beat her if we work past that?”

Ruby reminds them that Jinn told Ozpin he couldn’t destroy her. Nora: “Maybe someone else could?”

It only took you weeks to figure that out! Though I love how this still---still---apparently has no bearing on how they view Ozpin. This was another perfect, quiet moment where three characters, notably three of the least angry characters, could have acknowledged how terrifying this information is. How they still can’t bring themselves to tell Ironwood, a man who thus far has done nothing but support them. Wow, I totally get why Ozpin would have trouble telling us. Oh also, we just realized that maybe Jinn’s information was specific to him. Maybe someone else can destroy Salem. That’s a pretty big revelation. I wonder if Ozpin himself realizes that? We should probably try to talk to him at some point.

It’s while they’re talking about the heavy stuff that Ren mutters about how they should still be training. Nora counters that they deserve a night off and the two of them clash enough to walk off angry. We see now at least part of what’s been bothering Ren lately. Nora is a very bubbly, silly, go-with-the-flow sort of person, whereas he is hyper focused on becoming as strong as possible in the hopes of finding a way out of this Salem mess. He doesn’t want to hear compliments while searching for a geist, or have her playing with his hair while on patrol, or turn training into a conversation about their relationship, or waste time on frivolous parties. There’s obviously a happy medium between Ren’s work ethic and Nora’s relaxed attitude, though they haven’t worked through that at all because they’re too busy kissing. Again, more on that in a second.

They reach the party, Penny is there, Nora and Ren dive into another fight that serves to canonize both them and Blake/Yang. Nora comments about how they’re spending so much time together, Ren observes that they’re at least friends again, and the response is,

Nora: “Friends, huh? Just friends?” Ren: “What else would they be? Nora: “Two people who have gone through so much? I think there’s more going on...”

It’s clear at this point that Nora is talking about them rather than Yang/Blake, but the initial comparison holds. Though she uses them as an in to discuss her own relationship, I doubt she was lying here. She clearly views them as a parallel to her and Ren: two partners who have been through a great deal together and, as a result, have grown to love each other as more than just friends. Those who insist that Rooster Teeth isn’t heading in a Blake/Yang direction don’t have much of a leg to stand on anymore. That ship (ha) has long since sailed. 

Ruby sneaks away from their fight though nothing terribly exciting happens. She adorably clings to Penny’s arm. They adorably fist-bump (ouch). Marrow and Hill get into a conversation about making change and whether or not she’ll accomplish that within the bounds of the law. Funny... I thought we saw that very same theme last volume. If only the writing acknowledged that there’s a connection between this conversation and our protagonists. We’re supposed to see both sides of the situation here: Hill’s need to bend the rules once in a while and Marrow’s desire to keep the peace; how the law is a man-mad construct that’s far from perfect and the importance of making change in a way that will stick---namely, legally. Here is a complex look at a morally difficult question and notably both Marrow and Hill are minor characters. It’s only when RWBYJNR is involved that the message moves from ‘Each side has a point’ to ‘Teens are 100% justified in breaking the law and anyone trying to stop them is an evil, crazy racist.’

It honestly astounds me that Rooster Teeth can give us that subtly here but never when it comes to our heroes.

When Ruby finally returns she finds Ren and Nora still fighting. As she snuck off we heard Ren admitting---in the round-about way of theirs, pretending that they’re talking about other people---that he’s worried, there’s a lot going on right now, and basically implying that he doesn’t know how (or doesn’t want) to balance a new relationship on top of all the horrific Salem business. Which, fair. The problem is that they don’t discuss this. Hill’s speech about how they’re always stronger together resonates with Nora and she tries to initiate a conversation, asking Ren to explain more fully what’s bothering him. To talk about it. He admits that talking has never been his strong suit.

I expected this to segue into a cliche, “Well try” moment and we’d finally get Ren and Nora bonding outside of their jokes and silent communication. Sadly, that didn’t happen. Look, I’m all for a renora kiss, but we have got to stop portraying sexual assault as romantic. Because that’s what Nora does here. It doesn’t matter how sure she (or we as the audience) are that Ren will like this kiss in the end. Grabbing someone and kissing them without their consent is sexual assault. Ren has not agreed to kiss her. He hasn’t expressed any desire here to kiss here. He’s completely blindsided by it and is flailing before he gives in.

People will justify this because, again, we all “know” that Ren secretly wants it and will be grateful that Nora got him past his fear. But that’s a terrible message to perpetuate in a world where others insist they also “know” when someone “really” wants them (they don’t) and where kissing or sex is seen as an easy way to supposedly solve problems between a couple. How many times have we seen an angry woman in media essentially told to shut up by a guy kissing her? The message is that her thoughts and grievances aren’t important here. The man knows her better than she knows herself and the second her forces her to start kissing him she realizes that’s really all she needed all along. That trope isn’t redeemed by changing the gender dynamic. Ren clearly has problems with their relationship that he’s struggling to work through. Nora clearly recognizes as much. Yet instead of acknowledging them and overcoming them, she erases any potential development by forcing him into a kiss. I’m sorry, it doesn’t matter how much Ren enjoys it a few seconds in. The continued message that forcing sexual intimacy on someone will fix both their hesitation and your relationship problems has go to stop. Kissing Nora doesn’t magically solve whatever it is Ren has been grappling with for the last six episodes. You know, the stuff they were just arguing about.

Once again, RWBY succeeded in giving me something I wanted, but in a way that severely downplays that enjoyment. I wanted a renora kiss, but not without consent and as a way of ignoring their issues. I wanted more focus on Ren and Nora as a whole this volume, but it would be nice if their characters could exits outside of each other some. Like the criticisms against Blake and Yang, Ren and Nora seem to be a package deal. They don’t fight with anyone else. They don’t go to different activities (why can’t Ren continue training if he’s that focused on it? Let Nora vent her feelings to a friend while he’s gone). They don’t interact with Ruby when they’re out with her. Their arc, it seems, doesn’t exist outside of each other. Which I suppose is better than no development at all, but still.

From then on things devolve rather quickly. While Hill continues her speech---and we see the ever closing gap between her and Jacques---Ruby gets a quick look at Tyrian’s tail before Watts turns out the lights. From there Tyrian proceeds to murder so many people, including attacking Fiona and going after Hill. All the while Ruby and Penny struggle to attack, despite the fact that Penny clearly has night vision and hangs back too long, obviously for plot purposes. It’s when she finally gets him away from Hill that Watts turns the lights back on, making it look like Penny had attacked the crowd and Hill was defending herself from her. I’ll admit, making Penny suitably creepy during the battle helps sell it.

Man do I hate framing plot-lines though. Not in a ‘Rooster Teeth shouldn’t have done this’ sense, just that it hurts to watch people react so badly based on a misunderstanding. This setup works best when there’s no one to refute the assumption. Yet here we have Ruby who absolutely saw Tyrian there, Penny who absolutely saw him with her night vision, Marrow who just made a connection with Hill and took the time to insist, “This wasn’t us, I swear,” etc. We’ve even got really basic stuff like, does Penny have blood all over her blades? Yet based on Hill’s look, all the evidence against Penny being the attacker isn’t going to do much good. Which makes for a more frustrating experience than a sad, yet understandable one.

We end with Jacques thanking everyone for his victory, rigged by Watts. Watts uploads the video of the attack, which has presumably either been altered in some way or just shows Penny in that damning position with her weapons out. If the former, that would at least go a long way towards explaining the inevitable backlash against her. An angry mob in the heat of the moment is one thing, but if Watts is looking to convince the entirety of Atlas that Ironwood is using his robot---a robot the people seem to currently love---to take out his competition, a doctored video of Penny attacking innocent people is far more persuasive. For both them and us the audience, wondering why everyone is this gullible. So far we’ve gotten some truly excellent villainy this year. Let’s continue that with them thinking ahead. 

At the very least this should (should) provide us with some excellent development for Penny. She’s long struggled with her status as a robot and being the defender of Atlas seems to have helped her come into herself. Having others accept her differences as a boon will do that. Now that she’s labeled as nothing more than a dangerous weapons again? We should see some inner conflict. The writing didn’t let her or anyone else grapple with her death. For the love of everything, at least let Penny grapple with this. 

Finally, Ruby and the others are forced to spend the night defending the city from a ton of grimm. Seriously, take in how many grimm showed up because of an election. Now think about what will happen if Ironwood announces Salem’s existence... I don’t think the cast is admitting to themselves precisely how many lives they’d be sacrificing by pulling that stunt. Ironwood at least (as far as we know) truly thinks he has a shot at winning the war. Ruby has no excuse at this point, with the exception that telling people about Salem is just plain hard.

Insert standard ‘Ozpin was right and they’re being hypocrites’ meta here.

And that’s it, folks! Issues aside, an all around better episode than some of the others we’ve gotten this season. Based off of experience it’ll be a small miracle if RWBY manages to keep that up next week.

Until then 💜

Minor Things of Note

All the people who were arrested the day of the election... do they get to vote? I know Watts rigged things, but potentially keeping everyone that furious with Ironwood from deciding who will oppose him on the council won’t exactly look good... especially combined with the Penny situation. Not that I think RWBY would actually introduce that as a complication. Just a thought.

Another extremely nit-picky thing, but it’s hilarious to me how bare the girls’ room is. Obviously there’s little time or inclination to animate personal items, even the few they have, but it kind of looks ridiculous to have this sterile space with one mirror and one tube of mascara. Here are the exact things we need for this scene and nothing more! I do like that shot in the mirror though.

Fiona getting teary-eyed over Hill being on the council was beautiful. I barely know them, but I like these two.

I’m just gonna post this again... 

[melonlord-ramblings]

Watching You by Lisa Jewell Review & Ramblings

Picture source: goodreads

Title: Watching You

Author: Lisa Jewell

Summary: 

“Melville Heights is one of the nicest neighbourhoods in Bristol, England; home to doctors and lawyers and old-money academics. It’s not the sort of place where people are brutally murdered in their own kitchens. But it is the sort of place where everyone has a secret. And everyone is watching you. As the headmaster credited with turning around the local school, Tom Fitzwilliam is beloved by one and all—including Joey Mullen, his new neighbor, who quickly develops an intense infatuation with this thoroughly charming yet unavailable man. Joey thinks her crush is a secret, but Tom’s teenaged son Freddie—a prodigy with aspirations of becoming a spy for MI5—excels in observing people and has witnessed Joey behaving strangely around his father. One of Tom’s students, Jenna Tripp, also lives on the same street, and she’s not convinced her teacher is as squeaky clean as he seems. For one thing, he has taken a particular liking to her best friend and fellow classmate, and Jenna’s mother—whose mental health has admittedly been deteriorating in recent years—is convinced that Mr. Fitzwilliam is stalking her. Meanwhile, twenty years earlier, a schoolgirl writes in her diary, charting her doomed obsession with a handsome young English teacher named Mr. Fitzwilliam…”

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of grooming and ephebophilia, stalking (will be explained later), infidelity, explicit sexual content, murder, explicit murder details, domestic violence, unhealthy relationships, undiagnosed disorder (I don’t know if this is considered one or not, just putting it just in case), mentions of suicide, bullying.

Rating: 3.5/5

Review

Hey everyone, smolmenace here! Today’s review & ramblings will be on Watching You by Lisa Jewell. I liked this book! It had a good mystery and build up to it, and it was a quick read, so I finished it in less than a day, which I do appreciate. It was a little hard to get fully into the flow of the book because there were just so many characters that I kept losing track and forgetting who’s who and what they do and everything. I did like how Lisa Jewell kept not only the identity of the murderer a secret but also the victim, I mean, it was easy to deduct who, but it was still a new touch! 

I also both liked and disliked the plot twist! I’ll explain it in my ramblings because it is spoilers, but the murderer is someone who I never expected! In hindsight, maybe, but there were so many hints and allusions to other people and other reasons that it was quite shocking! 

This book does have a lot of things to think about and it was a ride to try and figure out who the victim was, and who was the murderer.

I will say, this book can be boring for some people. I had read emmabooks’ review on goodreads and I can see where she’s coming from. This book might be boring and slow because the chapters tend to be the character’s thoughts and whatnot, and not most of them contributes to the actual development of the plot. A majority of the chapters were like character studies? I don’t really know how to describe it, but it was more to learn about the characters rather than see how the plot and murder develops.

All in all, I do recommend this book to anyone who wants to read a quick, but still good, murder mystery!

Warning!

In my ramblings, I will be talking about one of the characters who is later diagnosed near the end of the book with Asperger’s. I wasn’t really educated nor with knowledge over what Asperger’s is and whatnot before reading the book, and even after reading about Asperger’s, I was still on the fence about the character. So, if anything I say about this character (and even other topics!) sounds offensive or uneducated, please do let me know!! Also, my ramblings will be full of spoilers, which dips its toes into the trigger warnings, so please stop reading if any of those are triggering!

Ramblings

Oh man oh man! Let me talk about and explain why I was disappointed by the plot twist. So the whole time, the story really emphasizes the importance of Tom. Who, throughout the story, is heavily thought and implied to be an ephebophile. For those who may not know, an ephebophile is an adult who is sexually attracted to teenagers. So, at this point, I like, really wanna know - is Tom an ephebophile? Everyone in this story (the main character cast) is super sketch and they all have some secret. But, as the story is heavily around Tom - which was actually fun because his was the one POV that the book did not do, so it was everyone obsessed with Tom in some way. Anyways, so yeah, I’m like, super invested in finding out about Tom.

Let me get back to explaining why I found the plot twist a little disappointing. Turns out, that the murderer was one of the MC’s sister-in-law, Rebecca.This was the plot twist because she was such a background character that you really don’t see it coming. However, if one was really good at mysteries or something, they probably could have figured it out. Rebecca’s sister is the one who is talking in her journal about becoming obsessed with Tom in the summary, and she had committed suicide because of extreme bullying from, who - and this gets crazier, is Tom’s wife!! Σ(･口･). Mind-blown. NOT ONLY THAT, but it’s implied that Viva (Rebecca’s sister) didn’t even commit suicide, and that Nicola had murdered her!!! WHAAAT?? ∑(ΦдΦlll) This is implied in the epilogue, where their son finds an envelope that has a lock of dark brown hair - she cut off a lock of hair and kept it as a trophy all these years. And this is a really good twist, don’t get me wrong - writing this now and thinking about it, I’m like, oh dang, oh dang, OH DANG. BUT the thing is, the whole book got me invested in knowing about TOM, and that’s not what I really got in the end. More like, I’m feeling this “oh dang” now having given it some thought, but in the moment of reading, I was wanting to know about Tom.

Lemme also say this, Nicola and Tom’s relationship was real weird. Nicola was 14 years old when she thought to herself that she will marry Tom, and then it happened! When Nicola was 19, she met Tom, who was 35? and according to Tom, she was pregnant and they got married. At this point, Nicola kinda goes downhill. She starts becoming extremely possessive and easily jealous and at one point their relationship becomes sado-masochistic and that leads Tom to cheat on her with Joey who is also married（○□○), yeah it gets real complicated.

Anyways, let’s get into the character that the warning section was for. So this character, Freddie, is the son of Tom and Nicola (the one who bullied Rebecca’s sister). The summary describes him as a genius aspiring to become a M15 and is amazing at observing people. I did not get the genius during the story. I also thought that the amazing at observing people meant he was just really good at body language and whatnot. What I did not expect was him to be keeping photos and video footage of not the entire neighborhood, but a specific set of girls his age, and one of the MC’s, Joey. Like, for real, this ain’t selling me on genius aspiring to be M15. All I’m getting is stalker and creepy vibes. Because that’s not where it stops. He physically follows some of these girls around. 

During the story, he gets so obsessed over his crush that he redirects all this creepiness towards her - so he’s got a single folder dedicated to pictures and videos to this girl. Not only that, at one point, he does something super gross and I don’t know if that’s natural, but it’s just the buildup of everything just made it super gross to read. This escalates to the point where he follows her from her school to her house and stays there to “observe” her. He also finds and buys whatever piece of clothing she was looking at on her way home and leaves it off for her at her house!!! Like???

And then I got confused because the author then reveals that he has Asperger’s and it kinda came off as an explanation for his behavior? And I was like, I don’t think that’s how it works? So yeah, that’s what I was thinking about Freddie.

Back to Tom, is he an ephebophile? I think yes! There is a point where the line gets blurred too much to imply anything else. There’s also a lot to say about Joey, but I think this post is already getting too long lol.

Anyways, for those who have read it, what do you think? Do you think Tom is an ephebophile? What did you think during and after reading the book? Thanks for reading and honestly, kudos for having read all of this! (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ

[three-houses-text-files]

ingrid/sylvain

c-a support + paired ending

c (i?)

Ingrid: … Sylvain: That was quite a sigh. What's wrong, Ingrid? I: Tell me, Sylvain. What am I to you? S: You’re my friend...one of my oldest, in fact. I: An old friend, is it? I: Then why must I clean up the casualties left behind by your... Your skirt chasing! S: Heh, nobody asked you to do that. Heck, I thought you enjoyed it. S: Besides, you're real good at it. I'm excited to continue working with you. I: Do you mean to imply you have no intention of acting a bit more respectably? S: Please don't yell like that. Everybody's staring at us. I: When you were eight, you came on to my sweet, sweet granny. My granny! S: Come on. I was eight and she was gorgeou— That was a long time ago. NPC: Sylvain hit on Ingrid's grandmother? Wow... S: People can hear you! Please be quiet. I: When you were ten, we went to that harvest festival, and you started making eyes at a scarecrow! NPC: A scarecrow?! S: Wait a second. That was just an accident...a tragic, tragic accident. I: When you were fifteen, you sought—relentlessly, might I add—to involve yourself with Lord Gwendal's daughter. I: Who do you suppose made peace with the furious lord, despite having nothing to do with it? Hm? Me. Always me, always for you. Every time. NPC: What a jerk... I: You know what? This conversation is over. I'm done. I: My point is that this has to end. Not later, but now. S: Fine, I promise I'll try to change. Are you happy now?

——————————————————————————————

c (ii?)

I: ... S: That’s a heavy sigh...again. I: Yeah... That's the sigh of exhaustion after spending the past month apologizing for your behavior to, well, everyone. S: Apologizing? I've been pretty darn restrained lately. I: If by restrained you mean falling all over yourself to garner the attention of every passing female, then, yes, you've been quite restrained. I: Mark my words—the more you hurt people, the more weighty the repercussions will be. Your actions will come around to bite you. S: Ha! If I get bitten, that's all just part of the game. Heck, I had one girl's brother come after me with a pitchfork. Heh heh... I: If you end up getting maimed or killed by a pitchfork, don't expect me at your funeral. I: Glenn used to make light of getting hurt too. Then one day, he got more than hurt. Now he's gone. S: I’m sorry. I was being... You're right. S: I know what it did to you when he died. It hurt to see you hurt and not be able to do anything. S: When you wouldn't even come out of your room to take care of your horse... I: Nothing affected me the way his passing affected me. S: Well, I'm happy that you're better. Seeing you out and about helped me relax enough to be able to flirt with girls again. I: Your predictability is utterly disappointing. I: When I finally stopped mourning, you know what brought me back? My concern. For you. S: Me? I: You know you can't get along without me following in your shadow and caring for you. I: You flirt with anything that has a pulse, offend people left and right, and constantly cause commotions. S: Huh… The truth really does hurt. I: Please, Sylvain. Consider your actions before you carry them out. I: And stop acting so nonchalant about getting hurt or killed. I: Promise me that. S: OK… I promise.

——————————————————————————————

b

S: Training on your own? You really do work hard. I: I hate to break it to you, Sylvain, but there's nobody here for you to flirt with, so there's not much reason to hang around. S: You’re here, aren't you? I: How ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as your face. S: You’d really say something like that to a handsome guy like me? I'm crushed! S: Joking aside, may I join you? I only came out here so I could train too. I: Sure. Just don't get in my way. S: I’ve been thinking about it, and I really depend on you. S: Maybe that's weird since I'm older than you, but still... I: Hitting on me? Again? Have some dignity, would you? S: No! I'm being honest! I thought you'd listen. S: Hey, I'd like it if you didn't get too far away from me on the battlefield, OK? Just stay where I can see you. I: I'll stay as long as I can. You're useless without me, after all. S: What? No, I'm saying if there's one thing I can do on the battlefield, it's keep you safe. I: Whatever helps you feel better. Stay and protect me, then. I: I couldn't bear it if you went off and died on me while I wasn't around. S: Heh, I'm pretty sure that's my line. I: It's getting late. We'd better head out. S: You’re right. I'm exhausted anyway. I: You haven't been practicing enough. All that time you waste chasing after women would be better spent training. I: I’ll train with you anytime. So just... Hm? What's that strange look for? S: I just, uh... Well, you're going to think I'm being a jerk or hitting on you or whatever... S: When we're side by side like this, training, I feel— I don't know—oddly at ease. I: I know what you mean. It's probably because we've been friends for so long. S: That must be it. Let's never change. Friends forever? I: Absolutely. No matter what happens, we'll always be friends, Sylvain.

——————————————————————————————

a

S: Hey, Ingrid. How are you— I mean, what are you— Are you...you know...off to train again? I: No. I'm headed to town to buy supplies, but I'll be training after that, naturally. Why? S: Oh, I just thought you looked serious as ever. I guess that part of you hasn't changed. I: Of course it hasn't. I am as I ever was. S: Yeah, no... I mean, I guess you're right. Heh heh... I: You're being weird. Have you always been this weird, and I just never noticed? S: No. I'm pretty sure. I don't think so. By the by, have you, ya know, fallen for anybody recently? I: Don't be ridiculous. What are you even bumbling on about? S: Well, everyone's been talking about how you got really, uh, pretty. Just, you know, all of a sudden. I: Oh, you must be referring to the makeup. It's not a big deal or anything. Just experimenting. I: I'm still learning. Did I mess something up? S: Huh? No, I...I think it looks good. You did surprisingly well. I mean, considering that it's you. I: Very funny. But I must say, I'm a bit surprised. I: It's unlike you to stumble over yourself this much. S: What? No, I'm not! I'm just, ya know, curious about why...all of a sudden. I: Why what? Why I'm wearing makeup? S: I’m still guessing it's for a guy. S: If I had to try and guess what sort of guy, I suppose I'd say... S: Felix? No, wait, I'm forgetting the royal line. Dimitri would be a way better catch. I: Wow. Way to make assumptions. S: Is it one of the knights? If it's not them... Wait. Could it be me?! I: Don't make me hurt you. S: No need for violence. It was just a joke! S: Um, I mean... S: It’s not a joke that you're beautiful, but I wasn't trying to hit on you or anything. Promise. I: Beautiful, huh?

——————————————————————————————

paired ending

As Margrave Gautier, Sylvain devoted his life to improving relations with the people of Sreng. Under his leadership, nobles were persuaded that Relics and Crests were not necessary as they'd previously thought. Though he went down in history as an extraordinary lord, he could not have done so without the constant support and counsel of his wife, Ingrid, whose wisdom and tenacity ensured that the people would prosper. Sylvain was ever loyal to his beloved wife. The couple had many children, and while not one of them bore a Crest, they were all equally and wholeheartedly loved.

[ladywritesthings]

Welcome to Burlesque, ch5

AO3

---

“He did what?”

“He took the job, Molly,” said Jester. “Weren’t you listening? He’s gonna come live here, isn’t that cool?”

“Caleb Widogast? My Caleb Widogast?” Molly’s tail flicked through the air, draped over her couch as he was. “Skinny introvert, cat-lady extraordinaire, offered to come work here, just… out of the blue? And not only did your mother then offer him an actual job, but he accepted the apartment as part of the deal? Are you sure we’re talking about the same man?”

“Yes, Molly.”

“That bastard,” said Molly. “No wonder he’s been avoiding me.”

“Why would he avoid you?” She bumped his legs with her hip and he lifted them so she could sit down. “You introduced us in the first place. This wouldn’t have happened at all if you hadn’t brought him here.”

“That’s exactly why,” he said, settling his feet back in her lap. “If he doesn’t see me, he doesn’t have to grovel at my feet for this incredible turn of luck as he so clearly should. Ungrateful bastard,” he added mildly.

Jester hummed thoughtfully as she sipped her tea. “It’s been so long since anyone new moved in here,” she said.

She could feel Molly’s gaze flick over her and her stomach clenched as she fought to keep a neutral expression. “It has,” he agreed. “Looking forward to it, are you?”

She shrugged. “It’ll be pretty cool,” she said casually. “He’s bringing his cat, you know. I’ve never met a real cat before.”

“I would hardly call Frumpkin a ‘real cat,’ but…” He cocked his head, the corners of his mouth curling up into a sly grin. “So,” he said. “What do you think of him?”

“The cat?”

Molly prodded her with his toe. “The man,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Don’t play coy with me. You’re not as slick as you think you are, darling.”

“I don’t think I’m slick,” Jester protested. “What do I have to be slick about, anyway? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Did you know you babble when you’re nervous?” he said.

“Do not,” she mumbled into her tea.

“You do, and it’s adorable.” His eyes glinted. “Now, what on earth could you possibly be nervous about?”

“Nothing!”

“Then answer the question.”

“He’s…” She chewed her lip, mulling her words. ‘Handsome,’ her mind supplied unhelpfully. “…Nice,” she said carefully. “He seems really nice, yeah.”

“And…?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she huffed. “It’s not like I know him that well, we’ve only met a couple of times. But he seems nice. And his cat is, like, really cute.”

“And that’s all?”

“Stop staring at me!”

“I’ll stop staring when you start sharing, love.” His eyebrows were raised in that infuriating way he did when he was feeling smug. Although what he could possibly have to feel smug about, Jester certainly had no idea. “You’re hiding something,” he said in a sing-song voice.

“Am not.”

“It only gets worse the longer you deny it, you know,” he said. “You can’t lie to me. I know you far too well for that.”

“What did I lie about? I said he was nice!”

“Yes, and?” He sat up finally, curling his legs under him to rest his chin expectantly on his hands. “Come on, out with it,” he wheedled. “Nothing you say could possibly shock me.”

“He’s just… nice,” she insisted. “And he seems really smart and stuff. I don’t know what you want me to say!”

“Oh, but your face is saying plenty.”

“Is not!”

“It’s alright,” he said, shrugging. “I already know.”

Know…? He couldn’t possibly know… what? That she thought he was good-looking? That was hardly a crime. So why did the thought of Molly pulling it out of her make her heart do that nervous stutter of embarrassment? “Know what?” she asked, as nonchalantly as she could into her mug.

“That you want to fuck him.”

Jester choked on her tea.

“Oh, come on, you want to bang that wizard like a drum,” said Molly. “Just admit it, we’re all adults here.”

“I do not,” said Jester hotly, “want to fuck him. I don’t even know him!”

He raised an eyebrow. “And?” he said. “When has that ever stopped anyone? You think I know the whole life story of everyone I’ve ever—”

“Yeah, but I’m not like you, Molly,” she said. Her face was burning now. “I couldn’t… Even if I wanted to, I—” She was digging herself a very deep hole, she realized, if Molly’s growing grin was any indication, and she trailed instead into a flustered silence. “I guess,” she confessed finally, quietly, when his gaze didn’t waver, “I just think he’s… kind of cute, maybe? I guess?”

He tilted his head, that shit-eating grin still dimpling one side of his face. “He’s got nice hands, hasn’t he?” he said conspiratorially.

The faint memory of his hands on her hips, fingers gripping her like a vice as those icy blue eyes bored into hers, had her blushing again. “I guess,” she said, as noncommittally as she could.

“Nice arms, too.”

Images of Caleb shrugging off his coat by the bar, the vague implication of muscles working under the thin cotton of his shirtsleeves as he folded it methodically, danced across her mind. “Yeah,” she admitted reluctantly.

“Perfect, really,” he said slyly. “Long fingers. Nimble. Dexterous.”

“Yeah…”

“Now,” he continued, “just imagine… Those arms around you, holding you tight… Pinning you to the bed while he slips those hands between your—”

“Stop it, Molly,” she said, smacking his shoulder, although her ears felt very hot all of a sudden. “Don’t be mean.”

“‘Mean’? How is that ‘mean’? I’m basically implying he’s a sex god, that’s hardly mean.”

“He’s your friend,” she said indignantly, trying very hard not to think about… that. “You’re — you’re objectifying him!”

He raised another eyebrow. “Jester,” he said seriously. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but… we’re strippers, darling. Getting objectified is our job.”

She smacked his arm again, although with less venom this time. “Yeah, well… It’s not his,” she said haltingly.

“And yet I’m sure you wish it was.” Jester stuck her tongue out at him. “Oh, come now, don’t be like that. Save that tongue for—” The pillow she shoved in his laughing face cut off the rest of that entirely unnecessary thought.

“You’re being ridiculous,” she mumbled, ducking her head to hide her furiously blushing face. “He wouldn’t — I mean, that’s just stupid, I… Anyway, I don’t even want—”

“And why not?” he asked, tossing the pillow aside, where it tumbled off the couch onto the floor by her feet. “He’s handsome, I suppose. For a human. And a bookish one, at that.”

She glanced sideways at him. “You just called him a skinny cat-lady,” she said.

“True, but that’s because I happen to know him as a person,” he said. “You, my dear, have the advantage of not knowing what an absolute stick in the mud he is on the inside.”

“Now you’re being mean,” she said crossly. “He can’t be that bad. And besides, magic is, like, really cool! I bet he knows all sorts of interesting things.”

“Yes, like how to use those hands to make you scream all night—”

“Molly!”

He shrugged. “I’m just saying. He could use a good fuck, anyway.”

“Is that all I am?” she said, a little facetiously in spite of her embarrassment.

“Of course not. But you know what I mean. The way he looked that night when you were done with him was the most alive I’ve seen him in—” He paused a moment, looking thoughtful. “Well, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like that.” He eyed her shrewdly. “You’re not holding out on me, are you? You didn’t fuck him already, did you?”

“What — no!” Her face was burning now, and she hunched again over her teacup, letting her hair fall forward to hide her probably mortified expression.

He gasped delightedly. “You did!” he exclaimed, tail twitching. “You saucy little minx! What was it like?”

“I didn’t—”

“Oh, I’m dying to know what he’s like under that ridiculous coat. Was he loud? Did he bite? Because I’ve always thought he looked like a biter—”

“I don’t do that!” she interrupted loudly. “It was just a lapdance, that’s all.”

“Oh.” He paused again, seeming to deflate a little in disappointment, but recovered quickly. “Well, what happened, then? He still won’t talk about it, you know. It’s infuriating.”

“Nothing happened.” She stared at her cooling tea, at the soft steam curling off the surface. “I just… danced, really. I let him… touch me a little, but—”

“Oho,” he said, perking up again. “You were holding out on me.” His eyes glinted. “Already intimately familiar with those hands, are we? Naughty.”

“It wasn’t like that,” she said. “He just… held my waist a little, really, he didn’t even touch any skin! And then he got really weird and left.”

He cocked his head quizzically. “Weird how?”

“Well, he pulled out a picture of his cat…”

Molly sagged against the couch again disinterestedly. “That’s not weird, that’s just Caleb,” he said. “He won’t shut up about the stupid thing. Told you he was boring.”

“Frumpkin is very cute, though.”

He snorted. “Sure,” he said sarcastically.

Jester settled back into the cushions. She didn’t know how to convey the change she’d seen that night, from stuttering and red-faced, to intense and hungry, to babbling and closed off again — and, more importantly, did she really want to? She supposed Molly of all people would know best; after all, he and Caleb were friends, as odd a mashup as that might be, and he had so much more experience than her. He’d probably be able to dissect Caleb’s strange behavior better than she could ever hope to. But then again, he seemed to be of a singular mind on this topic, having already apparently decided the best course of action would be for her to simply strip down and jump into bed with the man, and then continue on with her life as though nothing had happened.

Maybe she wanted to get to know him better. Figure him out on her own.

At least when it came to that.

Not sex, of course — that was silly; she barely knew him. Just the lapdance. That was all.

“Do you know what those sigils mean?” she asked finally. “The ones in his wallet?”

Molly waved his hand dismissively. “Who knows?” he said. “He’s always scribbling down notes like that. I think he gets them from those manuscripts he translates. Bit useless, if you ask me.”

“Magic is useful.”

“Your magic, yes. His?” He pursed his lips. “I don’t see why he could possibly need some of the spells he’s talked about — walls of fire and magical armor and such. He’s not even in the military. Maybe that sort of thing was useful a few hundred years ago, but…”

The thought of Caleb in a dungeon, or perhaps an underground cavern of some sort, clad in battle-weary adventuring garb from those old storybooks she used to read as a child — all historical settings, with ancient heroes and terrifying monsters — flames licking up his arms as he conjured a wall of fire between him and faceless enemies, eyes hard and hair in disarray… Gosh, why was she drinking tea right now? It was much too hot for tea; it was practically summertime, for Traveler’s sake. She set the mug down quickly.

He was looking at her again. “Think of something pleasant?” he teased.

She flushed. “N-no, I just…” She shook her head to clear it, staring down at her hands. “Do you think he’d tell me about them? If I asked?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you don’t want to fuck him?” he said. “Because that’s an excellent way to get into his pants. He probably won’t stop telling you about them once he gets started.”

At least they’d have something to talk about, then; that was a nice thought. She smiled a little in spite of herself. “What’s he like?” she asked.

He considered this for a moment. “Boring,” he said finally.

She poked him. “I’m serious, Molly,” she said.

“So am I,” he said. “I told you, all he cares about are his stupid books and his stupid cat. Which is a menace, by the way. I don’t understand why you’re so excited to meet it.”

“I like cats,” she said. “At least, I think I do. Or would, I guess.”

“I almost feel bad that he’s going to be your first experience with one, then.”

“I’m sure he’s lovely,” she said firmly, picking up her mug of tea again. “You’re just being a dick.”

“And why do you want to learn about magic, anyway?” He squinted at her. “You’re not trying to become a wizard too, are you? Because one is quite enough, thank you.”

“No, I just…” She struggled to find the words to express herself — at least in a way that wouldn’t make her sound completely pathetic. “I think it would be interesting, that’s all. I like learning new things. And magic is cool, you know? Like, my magic is really cool and stuff, but it’s all just… healing, you know? Simple. Mine just happens. Wizards have to use… stuff for their spells. Ooh,” she said, struck by sudden inspiration, “does he have, like, a secret spell cupboard or something? Or maybe like a — a belt with pouches where he keeps, like, his newt eyes and stuff.”

“That would get rather smelly, I think,” he said blandly.

“I guess you’re right,” she said, and brightened again. “Oh, oh, do you think he has a spellbook? Wizards have spellbooks, right?”

“I have no idea, you’ll have to ask one.”

“You know what? I think I will,” she said. “Since you’re no help.”

He merely grinned lazily at her. “You know, for someone who definitely isn’t interested,” he said, “you’re asking an awful lot of questions, darling.”

“I am interested,” she said, and oh dear, that didn’t come out right at all. “I mean,” she said, backpedaling madly, “he seems interesting. I want to get to know him, you know? Since we’re going to be neighbors and all. I just don’t want to fuck him.”

“Whatever you say,” he said, in a tone that definitely didn’t sound convinced, and grinned again. “Mark my words, you’ll be going at it like rabbits in no time.”

“Will not,” she said. “Don’t be gross, Molly.”

“You say that now,” he said. “But you’ll change your tune soon enough.” The grin turned wicked. “Especially when he gets those lovely hands of his around your—”

The pillow she grabbed off the floor and ground in his face almost drowned out his sniggering.

It was another two days until she saw Caleb again. It was an accident, really; it wasn’t like he’d told her when he was moving or anything. They hadn’t spoken since Mama had offered him the job — a whole nine days ago. That wasn’t very long, not really, but it still felt like forever somehow.

A part of her started to worry again — had something happened? Had he reconsidered? Maybe he’d died or something, like, got hit by a bus or something; that would really suck — but she reminded herself that he had a life of his own; there was probably lots to do to prepare for the move, and he did have another job… She remembered what it had been like, moving from hers and Mama’s — now just Mama’s — apartment to her own place a few months ago; that process had taken nearly three whole weeks, and she’d only been moving down the hall. Caleb’s move could take three months.

Plus, it wasn’t like they were really friends, exactly. Not yet, anyway. She couldn’t expect him to update her on every little thing he did before he came back. Even if she was his landlord by proxy. Landlady. Landperson. Very pretty and funny and overall great lady who collected rent. By proxy. Even though there technically wasn’t any rent to collect, but that didn’t really matter. It was symbolic.

She was thinking all of these things as she trotted down the stairs to look for Mama, who was supposed to have been locked in her office again — she was locked in there most days, really; had been ever since the last accountant had been… ahem, removed, trying to clean up the mess he’d left behind — and nearly ran into someone on the way down.

“Oh,” she said, a little startled by the sudden person in her way, whose face was blocked by the tall cardboard box carried by lean, brown arms. “Sorry.”

“You wanna move?” said the gruff voice behind the box. “This thing is pretty heavy…”

“Oh, sorry,” she said again, sheepishly this time, and as she stepped aside she squinted at the woman as she trudged past. “Wait… You’re Beau, right? Molly’s friend!”

“Oh,” said Beau, pausing again. “Sorry. Hi. Yeah, that’s me.”

“It’s so nice to see you!”

“Uh, likewise. Hey, uh, you mind giving me a hand real quick?” There was a fine sheen of sweat on her forehead, and the box shifted uncomfortably in her arms. “It’s slipping a little…”

“Oh, of course!” said Jester hurriedly, taking the box from Beau’s grasp. It had a heft to it, like it was full of bricks.

“Uh, I didn’t mean — it’s really heavy—” Beau stopped when Jester adjusted her grip to the left, balancing the box on her hip and supporting it with her other hand, so as not to block her view. “Jesus.”

“What?” Beau was staring at her oddly, like she’d done something remarkable. Her brow furrowed.

“You just… Never mind.” Beau rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, seemingly unsure of where to look. “You’re… stronger than you look, that’s all.”

Jester blinked. “Oh,” she said, and grinned. “Yeah, I am pretty strong.” She gestured to the box. “So… where’s this going? I don’t mind taking it, if your arms need a break or something.”

Beau looked momentarily conflicted, but swallowed when Jester bounced the box a little higher on her hip. “Uh, third floor. On the end, I think.” She shrugged lopsidedly, an apologetic half-grin quirking her mouth. “I’ve only been here twice,” she explained.

“Third floor…” Jester brightened instantly, an odd fluttering beginning somewhere deep in her chest. “Of course! You’re Caleb’s friend too! You’re helping him move? Is he here?” She glanced hopefully down the stairs, but the landing between the first and second floors was disappointingly empty.

“He should be around here somewhere,” said Beau. “Probably getting stuff out of Fjord’s truck or something.”

“That’s cool,” said Jester. Casually. Of course he was here. He was moving here. Today, apparently. Her spine tingled pleasantly.

“So… you know the way, right?” Beau paused, and her cheeks reddened slightly. “Oh, wait, shit, never mind. You live here, of course you — never mind, I’ll just shut up now.”

Jester giggled and hefted the box a little higher. “You’re funny,” she said, inclining her head. “Come on, this way.” She adjusted the massive box again and trotted back up the way she came.

Beau trailed along behind her, panting slightly as they came finally reached the third floor and continued down the hall. “How are you not exhausted right now?” she said, wiping the sweat from her brow. “God, you’re fuckin’ fast. Can you even see where you’re going?”

Jester shrugged. “Not really,” she said. “But I’ve lived here my whole life, you know, I know my way around pretty well. And this—” She jiggled the box, which rattled slightly, “—isn’t really that heavy. Did you know this hallway is seventy-eight steps long?”

“I… didn’t,” said Beau.

“Well, it was when I was seven, anyway,” said Jester conversationally. “And I took really long steps on purpose because, you know, my legs were really short and I wanted to see how far I could stretch. I should probably measure again… Oh, here we are,” she continued, stopping and glancing behind her at her companion. “Do you have the key?”

“Uh,” said Beau.

“Oh, never mind,” said Jester, glancing around the box to see the door was slightly ajar. “Do you think he’d mind if I—?”

“Jester?”

Oh, his voice was even nicer than she remembered. Her name in that accent… She beamed, even though he couldn’t see her behind the cardboard. “Hi, Caleb! I brought you a present.”

“What are you — you didn’t have to do that,” he said, sounding bewildered.

“Speak for yourself,” muttered Beau. “My back is killing me.”

“You should lift with your legs,” said Jester earnestly. “That’s way better for your back.”

“Noted,” said Beau. To Caleb, she continued, “I thought you were downstairs.”

“I was, but you were taking so long I came back up without you.”

“Can I come in?” said Jester.

“Oh — ja, yes, of course.” His feet shifted to stand aside and she marched past him through the door, elbow just barely brushing his chest on the way past. The heat of him sent a shiver up her arm.

“Where do you want it…?”

“Oh, ah, there is fine.”

She let the box down gently on the floor, though it still let out an audible thud as it hit wood. “Geeze, Caleb, what do you have in this thing?” she said. “It’s pretty big.”

Beau let out a strangled half-snort that Caleb ignored as Jester turned back to them, leaning lightly on the box. “Books,” he said. “And things.”

“Magic things?” she asked.

“And non-magic things.”

“Cool,” she said. There was a pause, in which she looked around her, taking in the blank walls and wide, empty spaces that were a mirror and simultaneously the polar opposite of her own apartment, mere feet above their heads. “There’s not much in here yet,” she observed. “Did you guys just get here or something?”

“Ah, yes,” he said awkwardly.

She grinned. “Guess I got here just in time, then,” she said. “You guys need any more help? I don’t mind carrying more stuff if you need.” She flexed a bicep, waggling her eyebrows at them. Beau and Caleb exchanged glances and quickly looked away, each of them slightly redder than before. Her grin widened.

“Ja, well, thank you for offering, but we have a few errands to run first,” said Caleb to the wall, clearing his throat with a cough.

“We’ll definitely hit you up later, though,” added Beau, stepping on his foot in a way that was clearly supposed to be surreptitious, but didn’t account for the accompanying wince that crossed his face. “If the offer still stands.”

Jester almost felt the corners of her smile fall a little, but she shoved her slight disappointment down deep and instead shrugged lightly. “Alright,” she said, straightening. “Of course, Beau! I’ll just… be in my apartment.” She cocked her head at Caleb. “You remember where it is, right?” she said sweetly. “Right… up… there?” She pointed to the ceiling and smiled.

Both Caleb and Beau swallowed at that, she noticed with some small satisfaction. “Uh,” said Beau.

“Great! Well, guess I’ll see you later then!” She brushed past them and glanced over her shoulder to waggle her fingers. “Bye!”

She could hear Beau spluttering behind her as she headed back down the hall. “Dude,” she was stage-whispering, and Jester heard a muted smacking sound and a hiss of pain, as though Caleb had just been punched in the shoulder. “You didn’t tell me you’d been to her place. What the hell, man?”

She suppressed a small smile.

The fun, it seemed, was just getting started.

She knew they wouldn’t call her back for another few hours at least, but as the afternoon came and went without so much as a text, she began to feel a little… what? Upset? No, that was too strong a word. Miffed? Maybe. Either way, the quality of her drawings was rapidly dwindling, the floor around her littered with crumpled scraps of sketchbook paper, and her patience with watercolors as a whole was running laughably thin.

She swore loudly in Infernal as a sudden buzzing in the very early evening made her jump, her brush skidding across the paper. Where was her fucking phone? She spent a good five minutes hunting around before she remembered; shoved between couch cushions, naturally — she’d stuffed it there when the blank screen seemed to be taunting her with its blankness — but her heart swooped suddenly when she saw the contact name.

Caleb.

She felt jittery as she unlocked the phone, read the few short words there in black and white. Their first text.

‘Could you come downstairs? If you’re still available. — Caleb’

She only realized she was grinning like a lunatic when her cheeks started feeling sore. He signed his texts. Like a dork. Or did he just sign it now, for her, just in case she’d… what? Deleted his number? That was adorable.

She was almost skipping as she went down the stairs.

His door was open again; the gap between it and the doorframe widened slightly as she rapped out a quick little beat with two knuckles. “Cay-leb,” she sang. “Are you home? I got your text!”

“Ja, come in,” came the muffled reply, followed by an equally muffled, “Scheisse.” He sounded like he had a mouth full of… something. She gently pushed the door open.

The apartment was considerably more crowded than it had been before — sparse, still, compared to her own, but mainly because there was no real furniture; only boxes and bags of varying sizes, organized in neat little rows and piles, grouped together in an orderly fashion that created precise pathways through the systematic chaos. Behind it all stood Caleb, struggling with a towering, slightly wobbling bookshelf.

She hurried over, grabbing the other side as he steadied it and straightened. “Ah, danke,” he said, taking a small collection of screws out from between his lips. “That could have gone… poorly.”

“Why were you trying to move it, silly?” she said, nudging him playfully in the ribs as he placed the screws carefully on one of the shelves. “You usually build stuff where you want it to end up, so it doesn’t, like, fall on your head when you try to shove it around.”

“I did build it where I wanted it.” He sighed and ran a hand over his face, the faintest hint of a sheepish grin playing around his lips. “And then I changed my mind.”

A small flicker of warmth spread through her chest at that grin. “Why’re you doing this by yourself, anyway?” she said. “Where’s Beau?”

“Out,” he said. “We didn’t have the space in the truck for everything in one go, she and Fjord have been going back and forth to pick things up in batches. I thought I could get started here while they were gone.”

“You could have called me sooner, you know,” she chided, not unkindly. “I could have helped with these boxes.”

“Ah, no, Fjord could probably use the exercise.” He waved his hand dismissively, but she caught the slight pink in his cheeks with a pleasant twist in her stomach. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Cay-leb,” she said, drawing out his name again with a smack of her lips, and the pink of his ears deepened just a touch. “I wanted to help. You wouldn’t have bothered me. I thought you didn’t want my help at all and were just trying to be polite.”

His gaze flicked over her and stuttered away. “Well,” he said. “I appreciated the offer.”

She smiled at him, shoving her hands in the pockets of her skinny jeans. Mostly to hide the sudden nervous jitter in her fingers. “So,” she said brightly. “What do you need me for first?”

Most of their conversation for the next half-hour or so consisted mainly of confusion over assembly directions and muttered curses over squashed fingers, but as the clock ticked closer to the next hour, they’d assembled another bookshelf and a half — assembled precisely where he wanted them this time. She spied several more of the flat packages containing shelving; she supposed that was why he hadn’t bothered to paint over the boring white of the walls first. No point in having a fun color if it was just going to be covered in books anyway.

“You read a lot, huh?” she commented, as they finished the second — technically third — shelving unit.

“Ja, I — ah, fick mich,” he swore, shoving his pinched finger in his mouth for a moment. “These verdammte shelves might make me reconsider, though.”

“What language is that?”

“Hmm?”

“That language,” she said, gesturing vaguely at nothing. “Your accent. I’ve never heard it before. What’s it from?”

“Oh,” he said, settling back on his heels. “It’s Zemnian. Empire. Up north.”

“Really? That’s so cool!” She put down her screwdriver. “You’re a long way from home, then,” she said.

He was silent for a long moment. “This is my home now,” he said finally. Carefully.

She hummed thoughtfully. “Must be different,” she said. “I’ve never been to the Empire.”

“Never?”

She shook her head. “Been here all my life,” she said. “Is it cold up there? I’ve heard it’s cold.”

“Sometimes,” he said.

Dead end. A part of her wanted to push, wanted to hear all about the Empire, about snow, about proper mountains and endless fields with no ocean in sight, but… She let out a puff of air, glancing around at the boxes and bags and clean hardwood floors. “Where’s your cat?”

He blinked at her.

“Well, he’s not here,” she said. “Obviously. But you’re going to bring him, right? You said you would.” No, that sounded too accusatory. Too demanding. She chewed her lip and batted her eyelashes ridiculously to lighten her statement. “You wouldn’t lie to me, would you, Cay-leb?” she said in an exaggerated pout.

Success — his ears went pink. “He’s here,” he said.

Jester’s eyes widened with excitement. “Really?” she said eagerly, shelves forgotten. “Where is he? I haven’t seen him.”

“Oh, he’s, ah, not here, exactly—” He cut himself off, exhaled. “Here, I’ll show you.” And with a snap of his fingers and a small pop, there was a cat, suddenly — miraculously, a gorgeous orange tabby with luminous amber eyes.

“Oh,” said Jester. “My. Gosh.”

The cat — Frumpkin, of course — seemed entirely unconcerned with being materialized into sudden existence, and barely looked at her as he washed his paws with a small pink tongue. He was smaller than she thought he’d be; and yet, bigger. And sleeker, yet fluffier. His long whiskers twitched as he ignored her presence entirely.

Cats. She decided she loved them.

“C-can I…?” Her hand hovered in space above him before she even realized she’d begun to ask the question, and the corner of Caleb’s mouth twitched upwards.

“Go ahead.”

Frumpkin paused his washing as her hand lowered tentatively towards that sweet little head, fixing her with those large, alien eyes. “I’m not going to hurt you,” she assured him automatically. “I’ve never met a cat before. I-is it okay if I pet you a little bit?”

Three long, agonizing seconds passed in silence. She didn’t know, entirely, what she was waiting for — permission? From a cat? It sounded ridiculous, certainly, when she thought about it like that, but something about this particular cat made her feel like she should.

He blinked once, slowly. She took that as a good sign.

From the first tentative touch of her fingertips, she knew she was in love — he was so soft, like what she imagined petting a cloud would feel like. She was entranced, letting her fingers, then her palm run over the smooth, soft fur in gentle strokes. It felt like she could do this forever, honestly, just kneeling on the empty hardwood floor of Caleb’s apartment until her legs fell off from lack of circulation, just petting and petting until she couldn’t feel her hand anymore.

“He likes to be scratched,” suggested Caleb’s voice, distantly from some far-off place. She’d nearly forgotten he was there at all. “Here.” He leaned forward and scratched just behind Frumpkin’s jaw, his long fingers nearly brushing her own in the process. Frumpkin’s whole head shifted at the touch, and for a moment she wanted to shout at Caleb, certain he was pushing too hard — but no, Frumpkin was merely stretching his neck to give him better access, leaning into his fingers. “You can try it, if you want,” said Caleb.

Jester moved her hand hesitantly to the spot on the other side of Frumpkin’s exposed neck, fingers gentle at first, but gradually gaining confidence as Frumpkin started leaning towards her instead. “He likes me!” she whispered elatedly.

“He does,” agreed Caleb.

Frumpkin was rubbing against her hand, and she was pretty sure she was in heaven. “Wait, what’s he—?” She paused her scratching, slightly alarmed, as a strange, low rumbling sound began emanating from beneath her hand.

Caleb was smiling softly, a little crookedly. Her heart jumped. “He’s purring.”

She looked down again, and Frumpkin flopped down on his side, halfway on her lap. “Purring,” she breathed. “So that’s what that feels like.”

She almost didn’t look up when the door banged open suddenly, revealing a grumpy-looking Beau and a heavily-laden half-orc — Fjord, she remembered — trailing behind her. “The couch is downstairs,” she was saying loudly. “And I swear to Ioun, Caleb Widogast, if you don’t get your skinny wizard ass—” She broke off as she took in the sight before her, at an enchanted Jester and a smiling Caleb, a happily purring Frumpkin between them. “Oh, what the fuck, Caleb?” she complained, throwing her hands exasperatedly in the air. “I’ve — we’ve been running all over the goddamn coast for your stupid furniture, and you just — just shack up with your girlfriend while we’re gone? Thanks a whole bunch, buddy.”

Jester mostly ignored the girlfriend comment — for now — if only because Frumpkin chose that exact moment to roll over lazily onto his back. She let out a soft gasp. “Beau,” she murmured, “he’s purring.”

“I — what?” Beau’s expression slipped momentarily into confusion. “Well, yeah, he’s a cat. That’s what they do.”

“She’s never met a cat before,” Caleb explained.

“What, seriously?” Beau blinked as Fjord trudged past her, depositing his many bags in an unceremonious heap on the kitchen floor. “Never?”

“How’ve you never met a cat?” said Fjord. His voice was deep, a lazy, rolling accent she couldn’t place creating a pleasant lilt to his words.

“We’ve never had pets here,” said Jester distractedly, and gasped again. “Oh, oh Caleb, did you see? His little tongue—” The tip of Frumpkin’s tongue, rough and pink, barely poked out of his sweet little mouth, his eyes half-closed in bliss as she continued to scratch and pet. She never wanted to get up from this spot.

“Okay, so, like, as much as I’m dying to let you experience all the wonders cats have to offer,” said Beau, “and believe me, I do — I’m gonna have to insist we get this show on the road, ‘cause, like, I got shit to do? Places to be?”

“Oh,” said Jester, heart sinking. “Oh, yes, of course, I’m sorry.” She looked down again at Frumpkin, at that little fuzzy tummy and his outstretched paws, and patted him again, a little sadly this time. “I’m sorry,” she told him, very sincerely, “but I have to get up now.”

“He doesn’t mind,” said Caleb reassuringly.

“I do,” mumbled Jester.

Caleb snapped his fingers again and with another small pop the weight and warmth vanished from her knee, and in its place she felt a brief, but sharp sense of loss. She definitely, really, super-liked cats now.

Beau put them to work — she was a fantastic coordinator, if a little brusque — and Jester worked diligently, if a little glumly. The phantom feeling of Frumpkin’s soft fur on her fingertips lingered even as time marched on, even as shelves were built and the final bits of furniture and such were brought up, and she was flattening boxes absently when Caleb came up with a large garbage bag. “So,” he said. “How was your first cat experience?”

“It was wonderful,” she sighed. “He’s so soft, Caleb! And his little paws…”

“Ja, he’s a pretty good cat.”

“How’d you get him to — y’know, poof like that? Cats can’t usually do that, right?”

“Frumpkin — well, he’s not really a cat.” He paused. “Well, he is, but he… isn’t? He is Fey. I can summon him from the Feywild when I choose.”

Her eyes widened. “Really?” she breathed.

“He is my familiar,” he nodded. “He prefers the cat shape, athough I could change him to something else.”

“You can do that?”

“It is expensive, but yes.”

“So you could have like — like…” Her mind scrambled to catch up with the torrent of ideas all striking her at once. “Like a hamster-Frumpkin? Or a unicorn? No, wait. A unicorn-hamster-Frumpkin?”

He paused, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I will admit,” he said, “that particular thought hadn’t crossed my mind, but… theoretically, I suppose.”

She gasped, wide-eyed. “That’s so cool,” she said. “You’re so cool, Caleb.”

“Ah,” he said. His ears were pink again. They cleaned in silence for a while, Beau rattling around in the walk-in closet and Fjord cursing over the bedframe, the building of which was apparently stumping him. “You know,” said Caleb eventually, ears still slightly flushed when she glanced at him. “You could always come back, you know. To see Frumpkin.”

Her chest was fluttering again, as she met those ridiculously blue eyes. “You really mean it?”

“I mean, ja, we’re neighbors. You might see him around anyway, he tends to come and go sometimes. But he likes you, I think he’d enjoy the visit.”

There was a hidden implication here, and that fluttering was rapidly turning into full-blown butterflies as he held her gaze. “And you?” she heard herself ask softly, heart pounding in her ears.

That crooked smile again — only the briefest of flashes, really, but it had been there — before he turned away, bending to pick up some discarded plastic. “Nein,” he said. “I wouldn’t mind either.”

She left a couple of productive hours later — it was late, and Beau had eventually announced that she had plans, goddammit, they could pick this up again tomorrow — but when she crawled into bed that night, the cheerful jingle of her text message alert kept her from immediately passing out.

It was a picture text — from Caleb. A lounging Frumpkin, lying spread-eagled on dark sheets, the very ones spread out over the bed she’d eventually wrestled into submission after Fjord had threatened to throw the whole fuckin’ thing out the fuckin’ window out of sheer frustration. The bed currently almost directly beneath her, at this very moment.

There was no accompanying message, but it didn’t need one. Pictures being worth a thousand words and all that.

She fell asleep smiling.

[sparda3g]

My Hero Academia Chapter 226 Review

This is a rather conflicting chapter for me to grade on. On one hand, there are points that I like such as Toga’s backstory and the battle’s conclusion. On the other hand, there are points that reminded me on why the series’ formula needs an update or change that will benefit in the long run. It also doesn’t help to assure the purpose behind the new faction. When it comes down to the overall, it was a good chapter that was saved by focusing on Toga, one in which is long overdue for adding character’s depth.

From the get-go, the flashback shows many people interviewed about Toga’s strange behavior. She was seen as an outcast, weird, and unloved for who she really is. She even drank a popular boy’s blood back in middle school. There’s a couple of blocked text to hide Toga’s real name for some reason. It could be nothing or maybe a plot twist; who knows. Bottom line, she was not seen as normal for her fascination with blood.

The chapter shifts to the battlefield. I thought Toga will make a comeback at this point, but instead she collapse, leaving the floor room to Curious. This means more rambling, though because of her knowledge, her words basically narrates Toga’s life story. I believe that’s her whole point of her character; other than that, she’s rather single dimensional, and that’s disappointing. Anyway, Toga’s backstory is exploited further, where it becomes clear that her life cannot relate to society; eventually, pushed her away.

She has a strange fascination with blood, be it human or animal. People around her, family included, were disgusted by her action and smile. So much for the phrase, “A face that only a mother can love.” Reminding Toga of her past pisses her off, but Curious brings out a special glove and Curious Burst her face. Toga is at a clear disadvantage. She tries to run away, but she can’t get too far ahead. By this point, she was narrating how her life was never unhappy because of what she believes in.

She uses Ochako’s blood, transforming into her; I almost laugh at the ideal she does more work than the real self. Anyway, it doesn’t matter because it’s only for a disguise, not to use a quirk like one. We’ll get to that soon. Bottom line, Toga is screwed one way or another. Disguising as Ochako reminds her that she is lucky to have Deku’s complete trust in her and she wants to be like that. That’s her life. That’s actually a bit sad. If only she wasn’t this crazy.

Right before Toga gets another Curious Burst head-on, Curious begins to float. No, the real Ochako isn’t there and reveal as the big traitor as one theorized. No offense. It was Toga that made her float. She goes after other enemies, touching one-by-one. She recalls one of her ways of living as a villain: don’t get caught. This push her further and further to overcome the odds. Hero much? She realizes that she can use Ochako’s quirk.

According to Curious, she implies that quirk has evolved or upgraded by the power of fear, or in Toga’s case, it might as well be the power of love, even if her definition is twisted. This seems to reinforce the idea of feelings to be the key to unlock more power-ups. Even Deku’s recent new quirk was said to be reflected by his emotions. Toga regains her sadistic smile and release the float on Curious, dropping her from high up in the sky, straight to the ground. You see, when you’re a villain, this type of display is welcomed. Granted, heroes can do that in other series, but for this one, you need to count on a villain to be violent. Dead or knocked out, the battle has ended and Toga continue to live on to do what she knows best: destroy.

Let me first address the parts I like. I like the backstory of Toga. It’s simple, straight-forward, and reasonable. She was outcast by society, but she stood by her way of living, including love. I also like the struggle she was facing against Curious, probably the only good part aside from the ending. Speaking of which, it ended cool because it was dark and somewhat new to the series. We hardly see a villain gets the win; actually, probably never. Because it involved with two villains, a loss wouldn’t be harmful, like “Oh no! He’s my favorite hero! I really like that guy!” Basically, anything goes.

The problem I have is the execution. Let me first address the main key before everyone begin shoving at me. Yes, I know in volume 19, it was addressed that Toga can copy quirk alas Monoma 2.0. The problem is how it was presented. I have to look back at the past chapters, and the last time her quirk was described was in Internship Arc. That was the last time. It never said anything about copying quirk. Now, if we go by volume 19 additional detail, just exactly when Toga knows she can do it. The answer is just now. It can go many ways. You can say volume 19 spoiled the surprise of this chapter. You can say volume 19 was more or less contradicted since this chapter was designed as a big update. Which is it?

Removing the detail from volume 19, let’s talk about the idea of quirk’s evolution. I don’t have much of a problem with it. If anything, I would have prefer this over Six Quirks of Deku. That begs the question, why not use this concept instead. Maybe it’s not about evolution, but simply another technique. Whatever it is, at least this will keep character up-to-date. Although, everyone has a quirk, so it still applies the same effect; only few characters will get the spotlight. I can only hope Kohei’s imagination is expansive if he’s willing to go through with evolution. It’s passable; what’s troubling however, is the execution.

Toga acquired the ability to use other’s quirk. First of all, is having multiple quirks the Senju DNA of My Hero, where it becomes the most abusive tool to obtain godlike? It’s getting really old. Second, if volume 19 said she can do it, why is this a big surprise to her? Even if she did know, only she has properly control it, how convenient this was. It would have been a lot more interesting to see overcome the odds since that was the narrative it was pushing for. It can be said the same for acquiring a new ability, but it’s more of a cheap getting out of the corner technique. It’s the same problem this series seems to keep on bringing.

People would argue that Shounen series tends to have the characters acquire a new technique and win the battle. The difference is it’s not done as a game changer, rather a deciding factor. Naruto has Sage Mode; it wasn’t the endgame. Luffy has Gear 3; it wasn’t the endgame. Even the last big fight wasn’t as one-sided or one-hit kill. This wouldn’t be a problem if the battle structure would alter for each one. It’s either a brand new power or overwhelming defeat. The storytelling is getting repetitive, or already has. Plus, it’s odd for a villain to obtain a heroic factor to win, but they are designed for us to grow attach to their characters. I guess that’s why Curious hardly has any, and I could expect for others as well.

The battle was mediocre suffered by familiar structure, weak opponent in many ways, and a cheap turnaround. At least the ending was cool though. The artwork is pretty solid as well. I still like the chapter despite its execution. Toga’s backstory was long overdue to address, so it was good to learn more about her. Simple but effective. She is arguably fans’ favorite villain, so this is a great treat. My concern for the Meta Liberation Army has grown. They’re here as stepping stones. Maybe it’s still early to say, but perhaps I’m being optimistic. We’ll see after the break.

[morporkian-cryptid]

The voice of Night Vale is...

(I’ve written this essay last summer and posted it on fanfiction.net; guess I should also put it here. English isn’t my first language, so please don’t mind the little grammar mistakes ^^ Also, it is not up to date with the latest episodes, such as Filings (that episode alone could be the reason of a whole essay in itself))

We have all noticed strange stuff about Cecil Gershwin Palmer: his lack of feelings (especially empathy or fear), his ability to communicate with most, if not all of the supernatural beings that roam Night Vale, and the fact that he seems to have been around forever. But like, literally: EVER.

It is time to investigate.

The Theory:

It all fits in one phrase: Cecil is the immortal incarnation of Night Vale.

The Arguments:

Too lazy to go through the whole explanations? A short summary of all the arguments is at the end of this essay.

I - Credits

The first thing that struck me is the way Cecil is credited at the end of each episode. The “Proverb Lady” usually credits the actors by saying: “The voice of Dana Cardinal is Jasika Nicole” , “The voice of Earl Harlan is Wil Wheaton” , but for Cecil, all that we get is “The voice of Night Vale is Cecil Baldwin”. Sure, they had to credit Cecil Baldwin before the radio host actually had a name (which happened quite late in the podcast), but it continued even after we knew that he was Cecil Gershwin Palmer. It is also interesting to note that the same thing relates to Kevin, from Desert Bluffs: at each of his apparition, he is credited as “The voice of Desert Bluffs” … even though he does have a name since his very first apparition.

II - Immortality

It has been obvious, since the episode Homecoming, that Cecil has been around for a long time. During his discussion with Earl Harlan, the cook mentions the fact that they were childhood friends and have graduated high school together; which means they were about the same age. Then, Earl was 19, and remained stuck at that age for a long time - according to him, it was decades, maybe even centuries. And in all that time, Cecil's life has been going on.

Internship

Cecil’s first broadcasts were as a radio station intern, while Leonard Burton was the community radio host. And Leonard has also been around for a very long time - according to Cecil in [Best Of?]. In truth, Cecil’s first ever broadcast, as an intern, was when Night Vale was founded (this is the first recording played by Leonard in [Best Of?].) Well. As with everything in Night Vale, it is actually way more complicated than that.

There are two episodes that give us a lot of information about Cecil Palmer’s youth: Cassette, and later, [Best Of?] . And both stories don’t really match.

1) In Cassette, we learn that Cecil was 15 when his mother gave him a tape recorder so that he could practice radio talking (since the tablets at City Hall said that he was meant to replace Leonard Burton someday, but we’ll talk more about that later). It is also at that time that Cecil started interning at the radio station. Important point: he mentions the newly open Big Rico’s Pizza, and the previous pizza place that burned down the week before. Which means (along with the mention of City Hall) that Night Vale already existed.

When Cecil started interning, his mother suddenly covered all the mirrors of the house, and hid from him for three days in a row.  Hiding is apparently a normal behavior for her, but Cecil mentions that it is the longest she has ever hid. Cecil’s brother does not seem to appreciate his brother interning at the station, either. Did they know what was going to happen to him?

Now comes the important part…

While recording, Cecil notices a flickering movement at the edge of his vision. The movement stops when he stops recording. He then mentions that the movement seems “encouraged” by the fact that he is recording. All the mirrors are eventually uncovered (by his mother? by the Faceless Old Woman? by someone else? we will never know), Cecil notices the movement stronger than ever, and then… struggling noises, faint screams, and blank.

I think that, at that moment, Cecil became possessed by a different entity, which I believe is the spirit of Night Vale (or something similar). That spirit keeps Cecil alive, and erased some of his memories: he does not remember anything that was on the tapes, such as him interning at the station, and the fact that he has a brother (There is a rumor going around that Abby, Cecil’s sister, is transsexual; and knowing Night Vale, it wouldn’t be surprising that in addition to the surgery to become a woman, doctors did “something” (?) to make everyone believe that Abby had always been a woman. But that is an entirely different theory. ).

2) The story told in the other information-full episode, [Best Of?], unfortunately bears a lot of details that contradict the clues from Cassette.

Cecil, in his first recording, is older than he was at the time of Cassette: he has a more mature voice, and is not as hysterical about his new job as he previously was. But! the first recording is obviously done at the moment of the foundation of Night Vale. And intern Cecil in Cassette lived in already-founded Night Vale.

Secondly (but this is a minor point), in Cassette, Leonard Burton is said to have a very high-pitched voice… which is absolutely not the case in [Best Of?], where we hear him talk “live”.

If we stay in the subject of the time problem, we can also mention the fact that current Cecil has a family, in the name of his sister Abby. We know that Cecil has been around for a long time, it is said both in Homecoming and [Best Of?], and probably in various other episodes. Does that mean Abby is immortal too? Or that she is not really related to Cecil, and they both have fake memories of their childhood (if Cecil even remembers a childhood at all)?

Let’s close this little digression and go back to the [Best Of?] episode. Among the interesting stuff we learn there, we can list:

The fact that Cecil’s trip to Europe occurred during his internship (but probably not part of the internship itself).

That Josie was already around in the 1930s; she was at that time very young, but already knew how to perform magic tricks and minor prophecies.

That Leonard Burton, the previous radio host, retired sometime during World War II, in order to understand what family was about. It’s at that time that Cecil Palmer took on the job of community radio host.

That in 1983, the world ended. Yes. The world ended. It started with a report about Night Vale’s Russian sister town, Nulegorsk, being destroyed by bombs. Then, reports of all the horrors of the Cold War. And then... nothing happened, it’s a beautiful day in Night Vale, and only one person in the whole town realizes that reality has shifted, and still partially experiences a reality in which the world no longer exists (that person is not Cecil). That means someone, or something, moved all Night Vale into an alternate reality in which they were safe.

That a terrible accident (implying guts, blood, skin, and the toenails… oh my, the toenails…) happened to Leonard Burton, an accident so huge that it was likely to draw the attention of street cleaners. An accident that caused his death, as is very clearly said in the recording. An accident that he does not at all remember having. And that apparently had no consequences on his current self, who is perfectly alive and healthy, thank you very much.

The problem of these two episode’s stories not matching could be explained by saying that the Cecil present in Cassette is not the same person as the Cecil from [Best Of?], but then why do they both have the same name and the same voice? Or it could simply be explained by quoting Carlos: “Time isn't real!” (Although I know Night Vale cannot be studied using logic, I am not comfortable throwing away all my questions and concerns and just answering “Because Night Vale is weird, duh!”)

Other immortals

Cecil Palmer is obviously pretty much immortal. But the thing is, he is not the only one.

I already mentioned Leonard Burton, the previous radio host: he was radio host at the time of the foundation of Night Vale, if we base ourselves on [Best Of?], and was already host for a while when Cecil started recording his own tapes at home, according to Cassette. Anyways, Cecil himself says, in [Best Of?], that he genuinely can’t remember a time when Leonard wasn’t doing that job. If we consider true the theory currently being explored (the spirit of Night Vale incarnating in community radio hosts), it is probable that Leonard was the incarnation of Night Vale himself before he retired and passed on the job (and the role) to Cecil.

Earl Harlan has also been around for a pretty long time. He graduated high school at the same time as Cecil, so probably a very long time ago (assuming that Cecil is indeed immortal), and has been stuck for decades, maybe even centuries, at age 19. The thing is, he remembers spending a long time not growing up, and he does realize how strange his sudden change of situation (grown-up, father and sous-chef of Tourniquet) is, whereas Cecil doesn’t remember interning at the station, doesn’t remember much about Leonard Burton (except the fact that Leonard was the community radio host when he was little), doesn’t remember in what year he and Earl graduated, and suddenly changes the conversation when Earl asks sensitive questions about their common childhood and teen years. That leads us to an important question: what is Earl’s role, why is he immortal? His character is obviously here to bring up questions about Cecil’s past life, but he still must have a role to play in Cecil’s backstory. A pretty important role, considering all the stuff that has happened to him. And the fact that he mentions his extended youth so much means that it is not a common thing in Night Vale (contrary to other weird things such as having several limbs, or no sensitive nerves, for example).

As I said earlier, being part of his close family, Abby brings up the problem of Cecil’s life’s length. If he has been around forever, what about Abby? It is probable that she is also immortal - if she is actually related to Cecil, which is not totally sure.

In [Best Of?], acting legend Lee Marvin is also mentioned (probably only as a running joke). He has been around since the foundation of Night Vale, and seems to always be celebrating his 30th birthday.

The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home already Secretly Lived In Cecil’s Home at the time of Cassette. Which is not very surprising (The real question is: at what time was she a Faceless Young Woman? ).

III - The theory, detailed

Night Vale, as a town, is also represented by a spirit / a voice. That spirit inhabits the body of actual people, one at a time. These incarnations are not chosen randomly: it seems evident that Cecil was chosen because of his passion for radio (he says, in Cassette, that the flickering movement seems to be encouraged when he records, and he also says that the radio station immediately felt like home. Also, it was written on the tablets at City Hall that he was bound to replace Leonard Burton someday).

That person, that incarnation (Cecil Palmer, in this case), does not know that he is the incarnation of the town’s spirit. His original personality and behavior are not erased by the spirit (current Cecil, young Cecil from Cassette, and untimely Cecil from [Best Of?] all use the word “neat” to describe things that they find incredibly awesome), but can be overcome by it (according to the September Monologues, Cecil originally appreciated Steve Carlsberg, before Steve started showing that he knew “too much” about the Sheriff’s Secret Police’s hierarchy and work, which isn’t normal/legal for a Night Vale citizen). But the spirit erases part of its host’s memories (such as Cecil having a brother or interning at the station). Why? It remains a mystery.

Most things in the podcast seem to confirm this theory, except the timeline: if we consider the spirit took possession of Cecil’s body at the time he was an intern, in Cassette, then why was Leonard still the “voice of Night Vale”? I am certain that the incarnation of Night Vale has to be the current community radio host; which was Leonard for many years. But then, why have also Cecil inhabited by the spirit, while Leonard was the incarnation of the town? Why have two at the same time? I don’t think having a “replacement” in case something happened to Leonard is a reason good enough. The most probable (but not certain) answer is that Cecil seemed the perfect person to take on the job after Leonard; but considering at what time he was born, there was no chance he would still be alive when/if Leonard died (or retired). The spirit therefore took possession of him while it was still possible, and maintained him alive until he was needed to take on Leonard job/role (and still keeps Cecil alive today).

IV - Consequences of the possession

Cecil’s abilities

First of all, he is immortal. He has obviously been around since the foundation of Night Vale (he was 15 at that time), and although we have no idea of his current age, he doesn’t seem to be very old.

He is always in the middle of the action, and is often the one who speaks for or is spoken to by all the higher beings that roam Night Vale (such as the Glow Cloud, the Pyramid, the Hooded Figures, and very recently, the Deer-Masked figures). Although he is not the only one: Old Woman Josie is the only person to whom the not-at-all-angels revealed themselves, and Chad only talked to Steve Carlsberg about the arrows in the sky. And obviously, Steve is the only one who sees the chart in the sky and understands all that is going on (if we momentarily forget Chad, who apparently also could see them after his first encounter with the Beagle Puppy).

Cecil has very few emotions - or at least did at the beginning of the podcast. We have all been struck by his lack of feelings - “And now, a short public service announcement: can alligators eat your children? Yes.” But this seems to have been slowly changed, mainly by two people: Carlos (since the very first episode), and Khoshekh. Cecil always overreacts to anything Carlos says or does, and he is overwhelmed by his kitty’s adorableness. These kind of feelings have eventually started developing towards other people: Dana Cardinal, Janice (although Cecil rarely says anything about his sister Abby), Fay from ZZZ, the number radio station, Tamika Flynn during the revolution against Strex Corp,  and of course, the inhabitants of Night Vale in general. In the latest episodes (and especially in the 91st episode), Cecil has been able to feel a lot more for the people around him and for what was happening to him, and to express these feelings on the air, which he had very rarely done before.

However, it is interesting to note that he has always, since the beginning of the podcast, been able to feel anger or hate, especially towards two targets: Steve Carlsberg, and Kevin (and Desert Bluffs in general).

His feelings and mood sometimes radically change for no reasons. The main example of this is his first encounter with Steve Carlsberg, at his and Abby’s wedding. According to Steve himself in September Monologues, Cecil was at first very friendly and welcoming, before Steve showed him his knowledge of the secret hierarchy of Night Vale, and Cecil immediately started hating and avoiding him. Secondly, when asked by Earl Harlan in what year they both graduated from high school, instead of saying that he didn’t remember, Cecil remained silent for a few seconds, before redirecting the conversation on the tiramisu Earl was supposed to bake, and totally ignoring Earl’s question. The exact same thing happened more recently when Old Woman Josie begged Cecil to acknowledge the existence of angels: he stayed speechless for a moment, and then went on with the interview about the opera like nothing had happened. I think these changes in behavior are directed by the spirit of Night Vale inhabiting Cecil. It usually lets Cecil live his own life and make his own choice (even though it probably directs them towards a way that fits the Night Vale mentality), but when something is opposed to this mentality, or questions Cecil’s past or his role, then the spirit concretely interferes.

Cecil is able to predict future events, or present events that he is not included in. It was mainly shown in two episodes, A story about you, and A story about them. As said by one of the two crate sellers, “for some reason, everything you’re doing is being broadcasted on the radio”. However, Cecil doesn’t know everything that is going on, and he is certain to be a normal Night Vale citizen. (The Sheriff's Secret Police constantely watching all of Night Vale could be a rationnal explanation for Cecil's extremely extended knowledge about the people of the town.) Second example: in [Best Of?], after mentioning some strange figures observing the pioneers from the heights, intern Cecil prophecies that the inhabitants of Night Vale will grow to ignore, and even stop believing in anything related to height, such as hills or mountains. Which eventually became real: nowadays, most Night Vale citizens don’t believe in mountains.

He is totally dedicated to his radio host job: being literally  the voice of Night Vale, and having originally a strong passion for the radio, he is totally dedicated to bringing the news to his fellow citizens, even at the peril of his own life.

We could also imagine that, if Strex Corp failed in effectively taking over Night Vale, it is in fact because at that moment, Cecil wasn’t in Night Vale. For instance, when Strex Corp took over Desert Bluffs, they easily captured Kevin, who was standing against them to protect the radio station. Cecil, on the other hand, had fled in the Desert Otherworld when Strex Corp “invaded” Night Vale; and although the Dog Park is geographically located in Night Vale, the Desert Otherworld isn’t (as a proof, Carlos had to stay in the Desert Otherworld at the end of Old Oak Doors, because he didn’t belong in Night Vale). The spirit of Night Vale itself being temporarily out of the geographical location of the town, Strex Corp had no chance of successfully controlling Night Vale; although the Erikas and Tamika Flynn’s help were needed to actually kick Strex Corp out of the place. (This is totally unsure, and we don’t have enough clues to confirm it; it is only an additional theory. )

V - Small recap

Confused? Too much information at once? This is the Night Vale syndrome. Welcome to the fandom. Anyways, here is a short recap of the arguments leading to think that Cecil is the immortal incarnation of Night Vale.

Voice actor Cecil Baldwin is always credited as “The voice of Night Vale” instead of “The voice of Cecil Palmer”.

Cecil Palmer is pretty much immortal, or at least has been around for a very, very  long time.

He is more often than not the spokesperson of the many supernatural beings that visited/invaded Night Vale (the Glow Cloud, the Pyramid, one of the Hooded Figures, the elementary school’s computer, the Deer Masks…).

He can predict future events, and reports on news he has no means of knowing about.

His first ever broadcast has been made at the moment of the foundation of Night Vale, and he had been working at the radio station way before radio was even invented.

He has very few feelings (at least at the beginning of the podcast), and has an utter trust in Night Vale’s totalitarian government.

A seemingly mortal accident happened to him in his youth; accident that actually didn’t kill him or leave any visible sequels, but probably lead to a possession by a supernatural entity.

He has fake memories, and doesn’t remember many of the major events of his past life, which suggest that someone or something modified his memory.

His mood/feelings/opinion change incredibly quickly when something comes to question his beliefs or knowledge (such as Steve Carlsberg’s presentation on the hierarchy of the Secret Police, and Earl Harlan’s questions on their common childhood).

 He is totally, absolutely dedicated to his news reporter duty, at the point where he values his job more than his own life, leading him to take great risks to fulfill his duty. (But not more than his relationship with Carlos, though: he took the decision to quit his job and leave Night Vale to meet his boyfriend in the Desert Otherworld. It is interesting to notice that family is also the reason Leonard quit the radio station (although in his case, he wanted to understand what family meant, rather than spending time with his).)

Do you believe, now?

But despite these clues, many questions remain: why doesn’t Cecil remember his childhood? Why do the stories of Cassette and [Best Of?] contradict each other? Who is really Abby? What is Earl Harlan’s role? What happened to Cecil’s mother and brother?

These might be answered in future episodes, but they might as well remain mysteries forever. After all, Night Vale is a weird place, isn’t it?

[victorianfantasywatson]

Johnlock is Go

I’m sorry I feel like I’m too excited to do this well. But. We know this episode is off, we know the interactions between John and Sherlock feel off. I’m saying the reason for this, one of the reasons the narrative is so rushed and strange, one of the things they are hiding, is that John and Sherlock are together. Right. Now. They are hiding it, they are hiding it from MARY and so they’re hiding it from us as well.

Two things real quick since I know you’re wondering:

1) I’m not sure what happens in the end yet, there’s a separate issue where they’re also obscuring what happened around Mary’s “death”; I’m not sure yet if she’s faked her death, or John shot her, I don’t know if the estrangement between John and Sherlock is real or not. I haven’t got that far with this yet.

2) NO, John isn’t cheating with bus lady, he didn’t cheat on Sherlock, I’ll get to that. Don’t worry.

OK. SO in the beginning, Sherlock’s behavior is off, yes? He’s hungry, he’s super manic, he’s singing, he’s on top of the world. He’s just so….. happy.

I got into my head the crack idea that this is what he’d look like right after he and John had finally started having sex, after he’s gotten laid for the first time in years (or ever) and I laughed at it, and then I couldn’t. Let. It. Go.

He even says: “Natural high, I assure you. TOTALLY natural.” WELL IT IS. ENDORPHINS. (He’s being smug about finally getting with John Watson, LISTEN to it, he is SMUG.). We’re all like “is he high? This is so OOC for him”

WELL OF COURSE ITS OOC we’ve never seen him when he’s getting some, have we?

Sorry. Um. 59 missed calls. They’re on a case, John’s phone buzzes right as they’re returning to the flat (and why is John headed back to Baker St after a case? He doesn’t live there anymore?) and he has 59 missed calls from his very pregnant wife, who has gone into labor. I make a joke post about it, love your wife much John? But realize. He had his phone off the whole time they were on the case and just now cut it back on. HE’S taken to using CASES AS AN EXCUSE to leave his phone off whenever he’s with Sherlock.

(Also listen to John’s tone of voice in this scene before Mary calls, it’s very…. stag night. I don’t know how else to describe it.)

Then we have the party at John and Mary’s (baby shower?). They are talking about naming the baby and Sherlock says, “you know what I think” and John and Mary say TOGETHER “it isn’t a girls name.” And Sherlock smiles HAPPILY. A soft, private smile at his phone. I made a post about this already, I should be linking everything and pictures but I don’t have computer access till probably Thursday and I’m MUCH too impatient. The point is, WHY is Sherlock happy about John AND MARY making a JOKE about his aborted love confession?! The most painful thing?

Unless he knows for sure now that John KNOWS what he meant to say and he’s happy about that.

Um. The tweeting, the constant tweeting? Sherlock’s trying to DISTRACT himself he doesn’t want to look at John in front of everyone because he knows he’ll give them away.

“I delete his texts. I delete any text that begins with "hi”“

These are two separate sentences and don’t actually imply that John’s texts begin with "hi” or that that’s why Sherlock is deleting them. Anyway, as others have pointed out, John doesn’t start his texts with “hi”, he starts with “hey”. So. Sherlock is just deleting all John’s texts? WHY? This is highly suggestive…

John is tired all the time. Between the new baby and Sherlock, he is getting NO sleep… he and Greg even joke about it, in that weird-ass stairwell scene where they compare Sherlock to the baby. I think Sherlock freezes up and pretends not to understand here because he’s not sure if they’ve given too much away? Greg is literally joking about Sherlock keeping John up all night and does he KNOW?

Ok, so, the bus scenes. Is John cheating. So, there’s a question of whether the bus lady might be an agent from Mycroft or Sherlock,and I think that’s possible. But I also think the second time they show the scene, where John gets the phone number, is something that Sherlock is dreaming. John is just so soft and lovely and beautiful in this scene, like a romantic hero, it feels like part of a different show to me. This is Sherlock’s dream, it’s why John looks so amazing. It’s why Sherlock goes to Ella in the end.

Sherlock is afraid. I know he knows John loves him, he wouldn’t be so happy otherwise. But he’s afraid that John is addicted to that adrenaline he provides. That part of what finally made them work after not working for so long was the fact that they were in danger from John’s assassin wife, that they had to hide their relationship as a matter of life and death.

He’s afraid that once they’ve dealt with Mary and they can be together for real it won’t be enough for John anymore. That he needs the adrenaline, the escape. So he has a recurring dream of John cheating. He goes to Ella to find out what John needs, how to make him happy.

….like I said, I’m not sure if they’re estranged at the end or not. Regardless I think things will get much worse before they get better. I still think we’ll get the full-on love confession, everything, they may not even have REALLY talked their feelings out yet. Remember they thought Sherlock was going to die, so, I imagine he got back off the plane and they both said “fuck this, I’m DONE waiting.”

I was upset initially at the thought they could be doing it this way, getting some of it in a flashback, but I trust Moftiss, I think it will be okay. Anyway ACD Holmes and Watson were together right under people’s noses for years and doing it this way is just SO meta.

I DON’T KNOW who to tag anymore, I haven’t written meta in months, so I will just scream about this until someone notices. This maybe the only thing I talk about this until TLD airs. Um, if someone WANTS a tag if I have more ideas about this, let me know.

Edited to add....I don't LIKE the idea of John and Sherlock starting their relationship while John is still "with" Mary either, believe me. But if you consider that she's lied to him about everything since day one ... that John doesn't feel he can leave her safely since there's now a baby to consider... and maybe he and Sherlock are in danger from her as well... I just. After EVERYTHING they've been through, if they realized their feelings for each other on the tarmac, if Sherlock almost died and came back... I think it's understandable if they don't want to wait till some possibly distant future where all these obstacles are out of the way until they can finally be together.