#anyway cant wait to piece everything together i love it when it all comes into picture

[muchmossymess]

Joel. Why did every red name you ask to help you hurt Scott end up dying this session. Mumbo, lizzie and Jimmy. Can you stop losing your loved ones/close allies, FOR ONE SEASON?

How strong is your ...thing, with scott that it killed everyone you enlisted to help? We all know Scott's got his whole thing of allying with winners, maybe it's gotten to the point where those who oppose him...

[luckyratty]

New charlie video and i am suicidal and i cant function and im so sad oh my god

Thoughts under the cut oh my god

I was right about Casper working for Auron just not the profession, some of you mfs were piecing it together from the start but it flew over my head oh my GOSH!!!

I loved the palpable guilt radiating from Casper with those awkward "im trying to keep things normal" silences. I also love Charlies guilt of doubting Casper and not wanting to admit it!!

AUGHHH the Auron reveal was sooo fucking good I cant wait to see what comes nexts this absolutely exhilarating!!! I hope this is when things will start coming together like maybe they have to talk about the book and Seth and Alphonse are dragged into this too because it concerns all of them and Caspers just like chillin there. "But I've gotten to the point where.... you should know this too 🫵"

I also think the reason why Casper felt so guilty is because they were picked up my Auron, much like charlie, but they took up the offer of being his personal driver... symbolism everything is a circle oh my god

Anyways guys i cant wait to meet Vale oh my god im so excited...

[corpsebasil]

Oh my god wait WHAT ABOUT MODERN DAY NIKOLAI AUUUUU UU LIKE WHAT ABOUT IF HE WAS A PRINCE BUT LIKE RNNNNNM

i promise I’m gonna get back into the knight Nikolai thing but the tequila in my system has me THINKIIIOIIIIN

(yes I am 21 in less than a month. i am also Spanish and have been drinking since birth. anyways.)

okay listen—

DRABBLLLLLE MDNI UNDER THE CUT

okay so.

You’re sitting on the couch when it happens.

Not even an hour ago you were a virgin. You’d never let a man touch you—hadn’t wanted to—until Nikolai. Yes, Nikolai. Aka, his royal highness Prince Nikolai of Ravka. Good God.

(Omg just imagine modern day Nikolai ahhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHG)

You’re bundled up with some blankets while he makes hot chocolate, insisting that you relax after the rather intense fuck fest first time you two had ever slept together.

This man had given you more orgasms than you could count on one hand. He’d been the most perfect first time you could’ve ever imagined.

I just know Nikolai is skilled with his hands and tongue. Don’t speak to me.

Omg and what if he grabbed your thighs and pushed them towards your chest and—

GOOD LOOOOOOOOORD it’s been a single day since I’ve been laid and now I’m—

TMI.

Sorry.

ANYWAYS.

He’s in the kitchen adding marshmallows to your cup while you’re flipping through the channels on his tv, a tiny smile on your face. But then it drops. DROPS. Because you land on a news channel and the first thing you see is a picture of YOU.

Oh god.

You immediately still, leaning forward to pay closer attention as the news anchor speaks, the headline screaming at you as you watch:

‘The Prince’s Girlfriend is Just a Pawn’.

?

?

What?

The anchor continues with a story like this: allegedly, due to proof found by sources unidentified, the prince was in a strategically arranged relationship with a common girl in order to bolster his image as a, and I quote, ‘caring, non-discriminatory royal’.

You cant breathe.

Now for the Drabble.

“Babe!” Nikolai calls, walking into the living-room with two mugs in his hands, marshmallows almost spilling over the edge. “Want to watch that scary movie you mentioned? Your reactions to—” He stops.

Stares.

He reads the headline in half a second before he’s carefully setting the mugs down on the coffee-table, his expression stony. Your own eyes are steadily filling with moisture, your chest heaving as you listen to all the evidence that your entire relationship has been fake.

When you turn your head to look at him his jaw is clenched, eyes dark.

“Is it true?” You breathe after a moment, turning the tv off. He’s quiet and you continue, your voice cracking. “Was I a publicity stunt?” Nikolai looks at you and takes a deep breath, but his expression tells you everything. A choked noise leaves your mouth and you stand, shaking your head. “No. Tell me it’s not true.”

He doesn’t reply, just staring at you with a pained look.

A broken sob leaves your mouth and you shake your head, shoving past him.

“Y/N—"

“Did you ever love me?” You demand, whirling around when his hand grasps your arm. “I gave you everything. Every part of me.”

He takes a deep breath before speaking, his eyes squeezed shut.

“It started as a PR stunt, okay? But it’s not like that anymore, Y/N, I love—”

“Don’t you fucking lie to me.” You snap, backing away from him. “God, I’m so stupid!” You cover your face with your hands, shaking your head. “As if a prince would ever want me.”

“Y/N, please—”

“Don’t just—just don’t.” You hold up your hand and move towards the door, grabbing your things as you go. “Don’t call me. Please.”

(Don’t call me. Don’t come by my house. We’re done. LMAO.)

“Y/N.”

You pause when you reach his door, your eyes meeting his.

“I don’t ever want to see you again.” You whisper, your heart cracking into pieces inside your chest.

Sorry HAHA

[stevie-petey]

Anything you want to tell us about Come Home that hasn’t been asked about yet? Like a head canon, Easter egg, reference, song rec, something you wrote in particular that made you feel a certain way, etc ?

anon these questions always make me so giddy omg i cant even choose what i wanna talk about because theres a LOT we havent unpacked together yet but ok ok ok lets start here: how jon and steve differ with loving bug.

weve already established that jon helps bug because theres an obligation there from years of being together, while steve does it because he wants to. to add to this, the love is almost reflective of that

jon: i will never deserve to love but i will love you anyways because its all i know (selfishly, co dependently, raw, messy, instinctive)

steve: i will never deserve to love you but if you believe i do then i will love you with everything within me (trusting, comforting, forgiving, replenishing, complete)

for an easter egg im shocked no one has pointed out the bonus episode titles !!! season 1 bonus ep is “the beginning” because its the beginning of everything between bug and steve. the beginning of their friendship, their dynamic, their budding relationship. it all starts in that chapter. as for season 2, “the fall”, this is LITERALLY steve falling in love with bug. the bonus eps are meant to really piece together the dynamics i create throughout the seasons canon, and then bring it all together outside of canon to set up for future seasons ! the bonus ep titles will always tell you whats in store for the couple ;)

the titles of the seasons overall are also the ending of them !!! for 1 (we dont talk about it) we end with jon and bug never talking about their love for one another and instead promising to stay the same. for 2 (we thought love was something we werent meant to find), the season ends with steve and bug both finding love within one another after being led to believe they werent meant for the love they craved because of nancy and jon. for 3 (now youre a stranger) ,,,, well ! wait n see <3

ok now for some a quasi reference (more symbolism): everyone who meets bug has a crush on her but not in a cliche “reader is so pretty” way but in a “this person is so genuinely lovely and has this pull to them that you cant help but fall in love with”. they arent actually in love with bug per say, theyre in love with her kindness. its infectious, i like to think bug embodies everything we wish to be <3

finally because im sleepy i will say that the ending scene in season 2 between bug and steve still makes me so <333 to reread. the idea that someone will wait for you, and that they trust you to come back, is just so beautiful to me. not only was bug putting her heart in steves hands, he placed his in hers as well. she trusts that he will love her in the end, she wont rush him, and he trusts that she will be there for him when he falls :’)))

i also really really adore the final scene between jon and bug in season 1, when theyre in the car and everything settles between them and bug makes jon promise that nothing will change. ugh. it breaks my heart every time. its so so so bittersweet :( it parallels steve and bug a year later at the end of season 2 and i just. im so proud of that as well

i blabbed so much my god. pls enjoy

[haiseovo]

DABIXFEM!READER

yall dont come for me with my inconsistencies please i am literally not having a baja blast rn

but you know what i am having? too many thoughts, as usual

warnings: NSFW MINORS DNI, PiV sex, f!receiving oral, overstim if you look hard enough, i am sleep deprived lol not proofread im so sorry-

Dabi, who could care less for the lives of others. who kills without thinking twice about it and had never had a single person he would worry about, not even himself. that is, until he meets you. sweet, soft, but feisty. he was whipped from the moment you glared at him because he was staring too hard. and the moment you gave in and let him have you, he gave you everything he had.

he is a man of few words, believing actions were more important anyways. so although he never told you he loved you, you could tell. it was in the warm baths waiting for you at home after a long day, or the (most likely stolen) flowers that sat on your kitchen counter at least once a week. it was in the kisses to the bridge of your nose in the morning or his hand that always found your waist whenever you both were out running errands together.

Dabi shows his love in letting you in, seeing him for all he is. the monster he sees himself as when he turns his enemies into nothing but ash. he shows his love when he tells you his real name with a grimace, the letters seeming to burn him like acid. but when you repeat it. "Touya.." it sounds so sweet, so right coming from your lips. its like you covered the two syllables in honey and sugar for him, dripping with the sticky goodness for him and only him to indulge in.

he shows his love in private, as he pins you to your couch in your living room, mismatches lips peppering all over your skin, soft and gentle at first, slowly progressing into deep passionate bites and sucks on your soft flesh, turning the skin a deep purple to match his burns in a much nicer way. he shows his love in the way he tears your clothes off of your body like they are offending him with their presence, and they are. how dare the measly pieces of fabric hide the body of the only girl he will ever love.

he shows his love as he dives between your folds, large hands warm as they borderline engulf your thighs in his hold, thumb rubbing soothing circles as he laps and sucks on your sensitive clit. he moans at your taste, almost instantly intoxicated by you. he spreads you open further to leave long licks from your hole up to your clit, a deep sigh leaving his nose as you tremble beneath him. he buries his tongue deep in your soaking hole, pushing it in and out of you as one of his thumbs keeps your little bud sensitive. he doesnt stop until you've given him everything you can, shaking and crying beneath him.

Dabi shows his love in every thrust of his hips, slowing sinking into you, sadistic smile on his pretty face as he watches your eyes roll back. his eyebrows pinch together as he mockingly fakes a look of sympathy.

"i-its too big"

'i know baby, i know. you can take it for me, cant you? yeah, just like that, good girl."

he doesnt stop fucking into your weeping and abused pussy, just barely holding himself over you on his forearms. he keeps your mouth occupied, sucking on your tongue, biting and nibbling on your pouty bottom lip, prying it open so he can spit in it. the room is filled with the sounds of your high pitched and whiny moans, and the sound of his cock slamming into you. his fingers are laced with yours, holding one of your arms above your head as his other hand holds your thigh to his hip, keeping you nice and open for him each time you cum.

you're reaching that peak again, writhing beneath your raven haired boyfriend, hips weakly trying to meet his forceful thrusts in a pathetic attempt to reach that high, only earning a soft chuckle.

"you close baby? yeah?" "y-yea- oh fuck Touya, please! wanna cum for you! please-ah-pleasepleaseplease-" "shh doll, go ahead." he angled his hips to hit that sweet spot inside of you, reaching between your legs to rub tight circles on your clit. he barely parts himself from your lips, leaving just a hair between you both as his hips thrust into your harder. your eyes roll back slightly and he breathes in every moan you let out, clenching around him so tights you've got him on edge. "fuck doll, just like that, squeezing my cock so good. cum on my cock, c'mon, cum for me." his words send you over edge, your back arching against him, pressing your chest to his, your vision going white as you cum, a creamy white ring decorating the base of your lovers dick so prettily. Dabi is quick to follow you over the edge, holding you down and fucking you through your high and into his, spilling himself deep inside your warmth, filling you up and fucking his essence right back into you, his hips slowly coming to a stop. he keeps himself situated in you as he leaves sloppy kisses up the hollow of your throat, bringing you back to him.

he shows his love when he slowly pulls out, picking you up anc carrying you to the bathroom to clean you up, your brain too fucked out to think for the rest of the night. he shows his love with the hot shower and hoodie he lets you use to sleep. shows his love when he tucks you in and pulls you close, mumbling a quiet 'did so good for me' into your damp hair, letting you fall asleep.

[princeanxious]

are you out of the TSS fandom for good, do you think? just burned out on lack of updates?

I mean, it's complicated.

Edit: pressed answer instead of save to drafts while trying to back out, tumblr what the fuck

Anyway, it's complicated. I've become burnt out creatively lately, and I've been part of the sanders sides Fandom since 2018, it's been a big portion of my life, I'm not letting it go that easily.

However, this is my main blog, and I cant really shift everything to a new side blog, so I do feel bad for those who followed me exclusively for sanders sides are now seeing a v distinct lack of it.

But for the most part, yeah, I'm burned out on a lack of updates, I was a fander creator doing as much as I could to create content to entertain myself just as much as for others in-between the hiatus-gaps while awaiting updates. I love these characters with all my heart, but every gap in between has gotten longer and longer, I can't keep waiting for a year at a time for one single update even if the finished product is grand and *absolutely worth* the time it took to make. I was scrambling, bc I no longer have the time I used to to create my own fanart and fanfiction and animatics for this fandom, and I can only reread the library of my favorite saved works over so many times before I feel hollow and under-stimulated.

It'd be one thing if the rest of the fandom was as active as it used to be, I bounce off others creative energy far easier than single handedly manifesting my own inspirations all the time. But it's not, and interaction with my own content slowed way down. (Not to say that I'm leaving just bc of this or anything, but its become a struggle to feel motivated to keep going when there's literally nothing new from Canon to keep riffing from.)

I have the want to finish my remaining fics, specifically The Lost Guardian in particular at the very least, but I just can't solely be a sanders sides blog like I used to be.

I'll be here when that season finale comes out, but at this rate of progression, I think Thomas has overestimated the fact that this could very well be a series finale, not season finale. And I've come to peace with that, if only Thomas would be more transparent abt it.

Sure, Thomas has other content, but funfact, I've had very relatively low interest in getting super into it, there isn't the same level of comfort in shipping characters of a single person with the versions themselves when other characters played by other people are involved, especially when u know that they are alot of his v close friends. I don't ship real world actors together, especially if they play a character very close to representing themselves. The characters they play, maybe, but that's why I'm far more entertained and comfortable with animated media.

In short, I'm tired and burnt out and for now-for *whatever* reason- the silly lanky clown jesters from fnaf have more of a grasp on my brain than sanders sides does. I'm following the serotonin.

I may still create sanders sides content in the future, but getting maybe 100-500 notes on a piece when u have a fandom following of roughly 11.5k followers from over the years has spoken volumes on how active the community is rn. I'm not leaving, but I can't be stagnant and hyperfixate on this anymore after doing so for almost 6 years straight. Yknow?

And for those who have always left a comment, shared my work, interacted with me in any capacity over the years in this fandom, and have made my time in this fandom worth while, thank you. I love you. U have made every second worth it💜

[ggensblog]

Okay i loved your James fic, now get them back together :) my heart cant take this :)

ok so I thought this would happen so I had something on the back burner for a type of resolution type scenario. I don't have the energy to type it out right now so here are some head canons or like bullet points-

read the original; over-the-ocean call | j.p.

-years pass and after you graduate from the university you were attending your mom wants you to come back and move in with her.

-when you get back you're greeted by your mother and she's just kind of updating you on everything that has been going on recently- lily's doing well, the marauders are doing well etc.

-you get to your house and there's a surprise 'welcome back' party with all of your closest friends from Hogwarts.

-lily is like 'oh my gosh it is amazing to see you again'

-lots of hugs

-James isn't there. he is in his own apartment. he got an invitation but wasn't sure if you'd want to see him after all of this time and with the way things ended- which wasn't necessarily bad, but instead was guaranteed to make things awkward between the two of you.

-the party is fun and everything but you can't help but miss James's presence, he was always the life of every party you went to and even though it had been years since your break up and years since you've even seen him- you still found yourself looking for him or waiting for him to walk into your mother's home.

-the next couple weeks go by where you're just kind of getting back into the swing of things. one night you go out to a pub with lily and the marauders end up being there at the same time. lily claims she had no idea they would be there but she totally did.

-you and James run into each other while getting drinks and it's just as awkward as you would have expected. lots of 'so how have things been' and whatnot.

-eventually the two of you agree to get coffee sometime when you're both free.

-on said coffee date meeting you both just kind of catch up on everything you've been doing. you talk about how all of the work you were doing in your first year in America paid off and you were able to graduate from the university with an honors degree. James talks about how he sustained an injury during a quidditch tournament that forced him into retirement so now he's a personal nutritionist for a couple other quidditch players.

-you end up talking about your relationship and how you weren't a fan of how things ended. James expresses the same opinion on how you both were young and maybe not even ready for a long distance relationship quite yet. you agree.

-James says something along the lines of 'if I had to do it all over again- I wouldn't have let you go as easily.'

-swoon !

-you both agree to get dinner later int he week

-over time you both kind of settle into a routine of seeing each other on a regular basis and after a month or two James finally asks you out on a proper date.

-you agree.

-after that it was like two puzzle pieces were finally fit together after years of being apart. it's natural- your relationship. remus, sirius, lily and all of your friends are relieved that the two of you reconciled.

-and the rest is history

I hope that is a satisfying enough ending lmao- definitely a quick little thing I wrote in 10 minutes. anyway- I feel like most of my inspiration comes from songs I'm listening to so I am sure y'all can expect more 'songfics' in the future. but if you have any ideas or requests I would love to hear them.

[credulouscanidae]

every day i live in a passive limbo, waiting for the moment i suddenly feel better and can confront my anxiety, paranoia, and loneliness.

i feel like i have been shattered, and left in pieces with no glue to be put back together.

every day my existentialism and history of being gaslit dominates my brain and i can never make sense of my thoughts and feelings. i am constantly second-guessing myself, and implanting intentions that weren't previously there. i feel like i am required to have constant self-awareness, and to not have so means that i am Obviously Insane and Unsalvagable.

people on the outside would think im just a very holistic thinking person. which is true, and can be a good thing. but honestly? it's detrimental to how i perceive myself. i cannot unabashedly live in the moment of anything. i am, by default, viewing myself from a third person perspective in a hyper critical way. i feel afraid to fall into any category of people or labels, because to claim anything about myself is felt to either be a lie, a mockery of people who are "really" that thing, or it's attention seeking (which of course is the worst thing you could ever do right?)

even claiming to be existential causes a fear and anxiety that i am being pretentious or not self aware that it's a very human experience. my detachment from the world, my trauma, my existentialism, none of it is important or matters because others experience it too.

i cannot begin to describe what gaslighting does to the brain.

what it's done to me.

i dont even wanna claim ive become very isolated because others also experience it. id say the lockdowns from 2020-2021 triggered this, but i think more and more and realise that i wouldve done this when my mum died, or even earlier had i not had a confident person with friends take me under their wing.

i feel my whole life has come into question. i feel like my old home, my old life, my friends and pet and loved ones, dont exist anymore. i feel like im a dead person, looking back on their life and realising who i really was. all the mistakes and inconsiderate behaviours i ever done. it just fuels the fire of the gaslit brain.

everything i ever do or feel is a contradiction. i dont matter to others, but i also have more of an impact on others than i realise. the impact i have matters more than what im ever feeling, and for me to not be self aware of that clearly demonstrates how selfish and horrible i truly am.

maybe it's why people think im such a giving, non-judgemental, and sweet person. im not. im angry. im subjugated. im frightened. like a deer in the headlights, i have no choice. im easygoing and agreeable because i am scared of disagreeing or giving my thoughts through normal debate. because doing so in the past has caused assumptions about me, or intentions skewed or created. my words did not matter, but also they did.

i dont know how to just. start talking to people again. i have been given advice from people who have dealt with isolation but. i know the secret is to challenge yourself and do things even when you dont feel ready, because youll never feel ready, but how? i have lost so much. i dont have the support i need to do something so brave. because i am a coward who avoids and runs away. thats probably manipulative for me to do anyway. ive dug myself into a hole i cant climb out of. ive literally made it worse for myself for no reason. and now i cant even face the consequences of my own inaction.

but why would i wish for people to be there for me when i cant even be there for them? i know i would be there for them, in a heartbeat, but i cannot right now. thats selfish and manipulative to say i guess but. it's not fair that others dont get considered as a result of me not considering myself. mental illness makes you selfish. it makes you not a good friend.

i want to be a real friend.

dont wanna break when i bend.

.....

i have a therapist im gonna be seeing every 2 weeks. if this doesnt work out, then idk what i'll do. i have settled for the most part, and when life feels good, when my roots are grounding and growing in england, it feels good. i dont have many friends here, but i am happy with my partner and his friends, but it feels like i have so many loose ends and a life i have left behind that i cant face. and i am guilty when i experience happiness, let alone share it. because that doesnt align with my narrative that im suffering. which i am, but, i am also trying to survive and live in the life i currently have.

i guess that's what happens to the gaslit brain.

but i have to believe things will get better.

because if i don't

then what?

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

they was having a Nolan marathon at the cinemas today N I cant believe he got me crying about the gays again plz they fit every me trope blonde x dark hair he fell first and he fell harder, them only been willing to risk their lives for each other or the world! fcvk u tenet Nolan

Nolan really has me crying about mf Neil and his protagonist boyfriend again in the mf year of 2023 when movie came out 2 years ago now in time it didn’t deserve to come out bc it didnt get the respect it deserved thanks to this stupid pandemic ruined it for us and me N my chance

If ever getting tenet 2 imagine Nolan waited and released tenet now the love and hype it would’ve gotten the same love and hype Oppenheimer is getting bc people can actually go to the cinemas now unlike during when tenet was released in era of a world pandemic which ruined it for

them and the blockbuster the cult following it will get some day soon but should’ve gotten from the first day it was released as it’s the greatest Nolan movie the script is insane deserved Oscar nominations for everything effects acting script the whole lot I’m so mad now being

reminded of what tenet could’ve gotten but didn’t get thanks to the pandemic and racism and stupid people not getting movies! I’m so 😡 it deserves so much better then what it got so much better so did all the actors they were amazing the movie was brilliant phenomenal incredible

like Neil like to say what’s happened has happened anyways tenet 2 Neil who’s also a protagonist and that’s what I think tenet 2 is about! Plz I need tenet 2 about how Neil feel in love with the protagonist which he wasnt supposed to mission wise yet he did from the start the joy

the mf love in his face when he saw the protagonist for the first time him remembering what he likes doesn’t plz he was always jealous about kat! asking if the protagonist was gonna go see her or watch over her from afar, plz they was crying for god sake him giving his piece of

most dangerous weapon to him just so he could go back to keep saving the protagonist because to him that’s more important! Fock you Nolan I’m not gonna watch Oppenheimer out of spite for making me feel this way again and again now I’m 2023 and until I get tenet 2 with Neil being

protagonist which people will love and call it his best work his best movie but as long as we get Neil and protagonist I don’t care as long it’s Pattison and John David! Please god I’m begging I need it now hope I get in 2-3 years which is Nolan script an filming new movie window

I did not just see people shipping Neil and Ives it’s always yt girls doing the most they didn’t even interact except at the last scene or the one scene when he called them please be for real like we get y’all obsessed and always pushing two white males together but stop especially here when Neil only knows and cares about the protagonist also I didn’t see protagonist x Neil not top most romantic real canon Nolan ship even tho it was the most real canon ship but ofc the one that top is a yt mlm ship and ofc article was written by a yt woman who said the movie tenet was Nolan most disappointing cold films yeah she’s insane she’s never watched a movie in her life let alone Nolan movie ever because then she would know this is Nolan greatest or top2-3 greatest movies he’s ever made and she clearly sounds like a yet woman who can’t understand epic good storytelling and plots sad really like please she can’t be for real ofc she said they cuz the lead wasn’t a yt man she finds attractive but a black man like who’s surprised shocked not me same old bullshitt always happening thanks to yt woman who are obsessed with yt mlm ship to a fetishising degree and only care about movies series anything especially ships if it includes 2 yt men

[ghostiewriter]

Hello it’s the anon who asked you if I should read tower of dawn a couple days ago and ouu ghostie I am so glad you convinced me to not skip it and go straight to KoA because that was fucking great.

Ngl it was kinda hard to get into the story at first since it was mostly laying the main characters and plots out those first couple of chapters but once it started to kick up a notch I was hooked.

When I tell you I did not like chaol I really did mean it. Which to be fair wasn’t all that fair, he was a good character I guess I just hated how unfair he was to aelin with all the bs about how she was a monster for murdering archer finn or whatever his name was and the assassin who killed Nehemiah when it was completely deserved in my opinion 😌. HOWEVER, his character arc was pretty great and I love that he was finally able to see beneath the exterior aelin had to put up as celaena, as well as finally forgiving himself for all the things he punished himself for. It was amazing to read.

Also him and Yrene🥹 but also WHY THE FUCK DOES SJM ALWAYS LEAVE OUT THE WEDDINGS??!!

Also Nesryn and Sartaq🥹 I was actually tearing up when he was about to die at the hands of the spiders I was ready to throw the book out a window but it’s ok cuz they got out ok ☺️

Also I fucking knew Duva had something to do with the Valg who was there and hunting Yrene, I didn’t piece together that she was the one infested but I felt she had something to do with it so I was partially correct which is a win anyways :b

Oh but what I didn’t see coming was maeve being a valg queen but it makes sense now that I look back on it and I fucking love that twist even if I fucking hate how complicated it’s making everything else.

Anyways just had to leave this here because I have no one to talk to about this book and I’m a mess of nerves but also excited to start reading KoA now.

Have a great day!!

OMG HI HI HI

I’m glad you enjoyed it!! I very much agree though, the first half of the book it’s kinda meh but the second half really picks up pace and action!!!

Ngl it’s been a while since I’ve read the books, so some of the things you said have me like🤠but anyways

I fucking ADORE chaol and yrene and the development of their relationship. Tbh I didn’t mind chaol all that much before, but yrene makes him so much more likeable??

AND NESRYN AND SARTAQ ARE SO!!! I honestly could’ve had a whole book of them and I would happily read it

I also didn’t realise Maeve being a valg queen was only revealed in this book??? I thought it was empire of storms even but apparently not💀

I CANT WAIT TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS ON KOA AND I WILL BE HERE TO COMFORT YOU AFTER YOU FINISH🤠I cried at least a few times whilst reading it so!!!! Have fun!!!!!

[stemmmm]

for someone whos made that may sex jokes i dont think beato knows what sex is. good for her

ahh. this baby story explains the weird phonecalls. question becomes are they real or also hallucinations. im assuming hallucinations.

god who do you think you are, anthy? tho this brings up a thought i'd been having which is that... if we are to say beato isn't a witch and natsuhi's (or someone else is) making all this shit up anyways, then this "beatrice" within the game board is just something that will say anything that whoever is imagining her wants to hear. the perfect scapegoat. the perfect vessel in which to scream "a witch did it! it was a witch's curse!". hm. ok yeah all the demons are saying it to her outright. god every time i think i've pieced something together on my own and think i'm so clever the game goes right ahead and wacks me over the skull with it lmao.

very fun, very ooky spooky for the implication of the 1st twilight to be that battler slept in a room full of corpses without a clue.

very fun also for it to straight up be lambda doing a voice for the phonecalls, not even pretending like there's some other person, she's just rustling shit up

i love to see erika getting her shit kicked in for being an absolute bitch no one likes because she sucks so bad. even bern hates her ass in a way that makes me think bern made her in a moment of "oh you know what would be sooooo funnnn :3c ive never played a detective before detectives are soo fun and cute :3ccc" and then instantly got bored. erika will absolutely become someone sympathetic at some point im certain but not now lol.

i know she has a voice but the instant dlanor showed up and started talking in a strange, kind of robotic manner my hc for her voice instantly became this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/yhrho1/uwu/

i was also astonished i was able to find that video so easy by googling "giant robot warhorn welcome to the maid cafe" because 1. the only version i knew of was the majorly crunched tumblr version and 2. i got the phrase completely wrong

i will also say of dlanor, in addition to my distaste for increasing magical bullshit, the shitty leotards all of the characters get put in makes me hate them on sight because it means when they show up i have to see their awful outfits, so she had a major disadvantage starting out but she was able to instantly come around in my mind by being soooooooo cute. :3

thank god battler clarified after the fact that the wack shit with him jumping out a fucking window was his piece being controlled by lambda because while i sincerely had no problem with his actions or reasoning, i just couldn't forgive him somehow shattering the 4th wall to interact with the "phantom" team or w/e (love that we've got a 3-way battle also. very excellent development for how things are going). everything was absurd and fun but i was just screaming the whole time "wait battler isnt playing right. he's not- he cant be- is he??? he hasnt shown up as not a piece in so long, when did it switch, when did he come in???" so PHEW!

every single person, especially everyone who's a piece seems like they hate bern and lambda pretty fucking bad so I've got a feeling that this shit is gonna end with the entire game revolting against those two. battler and beato don't even need to be involved for that i think.

part 5 (+?) thread

ep1 ep2 ep3 ep4

erika furudo is bern's fucking self-insert oc................ i knew they had to be the same person because they Look Like That and also. Name. but. oh my god this is funny. she's managed to say a single line btw, this is just spoiler knowledge and inference running

ah! ok so we are doing answer arc-ass answer arcs. cool i'm fine with that! makes things a lot easier to follow especially since more inane bullshit's gonna get thrown in

hate haaaaate seeing beato like this tho :(((( this is miserable, she makes me so sad, and battler saying over and over again "dw boo i'm gonna kill u for sure" also makes me so sad. get well soon queen!!!!!!!!

i may be wrong but i get the impression that this was kind of the same as the evolution of the real life beato's situation/personality.... and in that sense i can't imagine any of this ending well but i want it to so baddd because i love herrrrr she deserves the worllldddddddd

it's nice of them to rewind things for battler's sake but uh. erika's a bit of a fucking cunt huh. no love in this game, indeed. we are bringing out peoples worst and making sure battler has as miserable of a time as possible. it's interesting to see that the epitaph is solved before any murder but know that people still die in the end tho.

also love that we're saying kinzo's dead for real, none of this with natsuhi is happening. open your eyes battler, look. nothing's there. really good moment.

battler's been confronting the epitaph in terms of why it exists rather than solving it, and there's definitely been much spoken of miracles, added onto by lambda saying there'd be no point in the riddle if it wasn't hard which would add ammunition for a miracle to happen, though there's still the insistence that beato has nothing to gain from the riddle existing... at least materially. and she doesn't kill for pleasure. so there's the obvious point that she made the epitaph because she wanted to play with someone, specifically battler since he always lives, and battler himself mentioned the play aspect though I dont know how serious he was about that. beato's very obviously just wanted to play with him from the beginning, even though her kidnapping and torturing of him in the first place pretty heavily obscured that. if we accept play as her reason for it existing and doing the murder games, that still leaves the miracle up in the air. does the chance of a miracle occurring not count as a potential material gain? is doing something purposely to try and create a miracle not... a reason for doing it? is the miracle that beato could Actually be revived in some way or is there something else?

[ladyfogg]

heyy just saw ur open for eddie fic promps!!

so I was thinking of a fic with a female reader and Eddie

what could happen is the stranger things team is hanging out (or fighting) when vecnas curse hits the reader and she starts flying. no one knows her favourite song to save her except Eddie because it’s ‘their song’. the reader falls into Eddie's arms after safely running free from vecna, the reader and Eddie have a moment alone he realizes from almost losing her that he loves her. it can turn smutty from there idk

thank you smmmmmm I adored ur first Eddie fic and cant wait to see more 💕

Your Love

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Non-Canon Compliant, Vecna’s Curse, Secret Mutual Pining, Violence

Fic Song: This one, in particular, was fun. Their song is Your Love by The Outfield.

Eddie Munson Oneshots Masterpost. 

A/N: Reader is a little older than Eddie in this (only by a year) but that’s because it fits well with the song and of course so that they’re both adults. Also, this one kind of got away from me. I didn’t plan for it to be this long. Whoops. Anyways, enjoy!

The gang is quiet as if they’re afraid of making a sound to startle you.

All of you are hanging around outside Eddie’s trailer, huddled together waiting for Nancy and Robin to reach out and tell you what Victor Creel says. You’re staring at the grass, one hand balled into a fist while the other clutches your best friend’s hand.

You and Eddie had been inseparable for years. You were a year older than him in school and met your senior year. He was a junior, one you had seen around for a while but never talked to. It wasn’t until you saw Corroded Coffin playing at the Hideout that you realized how special he was. You talked to him after the show and the rest was history.

He’s currently sitting next to you, one arm around your shoulders while he holds your hand. His thumb absentmindedly runs over your knuckles, trying to provide some semblance of comfort. Max is on your other side, arms clinging to her legs and her chin resting on her knees.

You both have seen the grandfather clock. Max saw it that morning. You saw it yesterday.

Eddie flipped when you told him. At first, you hadn’t said anything because, just like Max, you thought it was all in your head, leftover trauma from things you experienced in the last few years. Nightmares were par for the course when you suffered from PTSD.

But when you put the pieces together, when you realize what’s going on, you tell them everything.

Eddie doesn’t take it well. “What the fuck?!” he yells. “You should have told me!”

He had never yelled at you before. In fact, you couldn’t remember if you have two ever fought. “I already told you I didn’t know what was happening!”

“It doesn’t matter! How could you call us best friends if you didn’t even confide in me that you were having nightmares?”

“What good would it have done?”

Eddie looks crestfallen and takes a step forward, grabbing both your hands. “I could have been there for you. I could have talked you through them so you weren’t suffering alone. Do you know what it feels like to hear that your…” He pauses. “Your best friend is hurting and you had no idea?”

You’re scared. The fear you tried to push down wouldn’t stay put and it’s bubbling to the surface. “Eddie, what am I going to do? What is Max going to do?” The tears fall fast and he tugs you into a tight hug, his hand stroking the back of your head.

“It’s alright. We’ll figure it out. Together.”

Now, you sit in silence. And wait.

There are so many things you want to say, so many things you never got to share with Eddie. You want to tell him what his friendship means to do, how no matter how bad your day is, one smile from him and you’re feeling better. The small box in your heart, the one you use to lock your feelings away, rattles and shakes. It’s coming open and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You want to tell Eddie that you’re stupidly in love with him and have been since the moment you two met. You don’t care that he only sees you as a friend.

In minutes you could be dead. There’s no time like the present.

You close your eyes for a moment, stealing your nerves and taking a deep breath. Without looking at him, you start to speak, “Eddie, I need to tell you something.”

“Anything, babe.”

Glancing around you can tell the others are trying to act like they aren’t listening. Or they’re too lost in their own thoughts to pay attention. Either way, you know this is the most privacy you’re going to get right now. You look at Eddie, and he’s staring at you with those big brown eyes of his. Those full lips are turned down at the edges into a frown that you wish you could kiss away.

“If this is really the end, if I’m going to die—”

“You won’t! Don’t say that!”

“Just, listen please.” You place a finger over his lips to quiet him. “I need to say something. In case I never get the chance again.”

“What is it?”

You take a deep breath and his arm slips from your shoulders. Both his hands are now holding yours. You stare down at his rings, letting your fingers brush across them. You love his hands, have always admired them when he’s doing anything from gesturing wildly as he talks or shredding it on his guitar. There’s a lump in your throat and your eyes sting with tears. You close them, unable to look at him while you say this.

“I have feelings for you, Eddie. I always have.”

It’s like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Eddie doesn’t speak and you take advantage of his stunned silence.

“I know we’re best friends and I’m sure you won’t ever think of me that way, but I needed to tell you, I needed to get it off my chest before Vecna does…whatever he does. In case Nancy and Robin are late. In case they can’t figure out how to stop it. I love you, Eddie Munson.”

There’s a beat of silence. And then another. And another.

Eddie shifts next to you, his hands tightening their hold on yours. When he leans in, you can feel his breath ghost across your ear. “Aw, how touching.”

Your eyes fly open and your head whips to the side. Everyone is gone. Max and the others have disappeared and it’s just you and Eddie, sitting on the steps to his trailer. The sky has gone dark, black inky clouds rolling in and it’s like all the color has been sucked from the world. The man sitting next to you is not Eddie. He looks like Eddie, and he sounds like him, but you can tell by the evil grin on his face, a grin that’s just a touch too wide, that it’s not him.

“Poor little girl pining for a man who’ll never love her,” Vecna says, making Eddie’s face pout in a way that’s always weakened your resolve before. And he fucking knows it. He’s taunting you, messing with you.

You gasp and try to pull away, but his grip is tight and his left hand, Eddie’s left hand, starts to grow, elongate, turn into a taloned monstrosity as he keeps his hold on you. Your free hand moves on its own, throwing an uppercut right to Vecna’s chin, causing him to loosen his hold for a second.

It’s enough for you to scramble away, running for your life.

“Come back, babe,” VecnaEddie calls with a sadistic smile. “Don’t you want a kiss?”

---

You were about to say something but stop mid-sentence. When Eddie looks at you, your eyes have rolled back in your head and he screams your name. “NO! No, no, no, no, not yet! FUCK! Come back!” he yells, shaking your shoulders.

The others immediately scramble to their feet. Dustin dives for the walkie-talkie. “Nancy! ROBIN! CODE RED!” he yells into it. “I REPEAT, CODE RED!”

Lucas pulls Max to the side while Steve and Eddie try to wake you up. “It’s not working! IT’S NOT WORKING!” Eddie yells.

“I SEE THAT!” Steve yells back. He starts saying your name too. “Just hang on! Henderson, any word?!”

“Nothing!” Dustin tries the walkie again. “NANCY, ROBIN, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!”

Eddie is beside himself. Seeing you like this, vulnerable and at the mercy of Vecna reminds him of seeing Chrissy’s broken body. He can’t handle it if that happens to you. He holds your face, calling your name over and over again. This can’t be it. This can’t be how your story ends.

He never got a chance to tell you he loves you.

Suddenly, Robin’s voice comes through the walkie. “MUSIC! DUSTIN, IT’S MUSIC!”

Music. Music.

“Eddie, quick, what’s her favorite song?!” Dustin yells.

“It’s—”

Suddenly, you float out of his and Steve’s grasp, arms spread to your side and head shaking. Eddie grabs Steve’s arm. “I need your help! We need my guitar and amp!”

---

You’re running for your life. The trailer park is long gone and now you’re in some red limbo. Skidding to a halt, you almost run into a pillar, where the broken and decaying body of one of Vecna’s victims is held up with vines.

You hear Vecna say your name, no longer using Eddie’s voice, but his own terrible baritone. “Where do you think you’re going? It’s too late. Your time is up!”

“EDDIE!” you scream, covering your ears, trying to drown out Vecna’s voice. “EDDIE! HELP ME!”

Your body lurches forward and suddenly, Vecna is there before you, clawed hand rising as he forces you into the air. You try to struggle, you try to fight but nothing is working. His other hand comes around your throat and you try to kick him away.

He doesn’t flinch.

---

Steve pushes the amp out of the trailer and Eddie follows right behind, slinging his guitar over his shoulder. “Plug it in!” he snaps, yanking his necklace off, clutching the guitar pick you got him years ago. He never takes it off. It’s always there under his shirt, close to his heart.

He hears the feedback of the amp when Steve plugs it in and wastes no time. “This is for you, babe,” he says, then starts to play.

“Josie's on a vacation far away, come around and talk it over. So many things that I want to say, you know I like my girls a little bit older, I just want to use your love tonight,” he keeps his focus on you, thinking of your face every time he plays this song. “I don't want to lose your love tonight.”

You were the first person to see him, truly see him for who he was. You’ll never know what that meant to him, how his heart has ached for you for years. How you were always there, yet just out of his reach.

“I ain't got many friends left to talk to, nowhere to run when I'm in trouble. You know I'd do anything for you, stay the night but keep it undercover.” He thinks about all the times you fell asleep in his bed, not wanting to go home. Or when people were looking for him after a bad drug deal and he’d sneak into your room and crawl into bed with you. Half asleep, you always pull him in close. “I just want to use your love tonight. I don't want to lose your love tonight.”

---

Through the fear and the sound of your heart pounding in your ears, you hear something else. A familiar melody, and a familiar voice. The voice of an angel. Your angel to be exact.

Try to stop my hands from shaking, but something in my mind's not making sense. It's been a while since we were all alone, I can't hide the way I'm feeling.

Eddie. THAT’S Eddie. Your Eddie. You’d know his voice anywhere. You keep struggling against Vecna, shutting your eyes and picturing the man you love. Sitting at the picnic table while skipping class, or more recently, in your new apartment getting high and blaring the latest single from your favorite band. His big bright smile every time you walk through the door. How you always have to sit close no matter how much space is available. Always right there. Always within reach.  

As you're leaving, please would you close the door? And don't forget what I told you, just 'cause you're right that don't mean I'm wrong, another shoulder to cry upon.

You let your feelings for him out. Shatter that tiny box in your heart you stored them in so you wouldn't get hurt. You need to get back to him, you need to tell him how you feel.

I just want to use your love tonight. I don't want to lose your love tonight.

You love him. You love everything about him. You want to marry him, to run away from this stupid place and have a life together. A good life. A long life.

Not this. You’re not ready to die.

You summon all of your strength and with a yell, dig your thumbs into Vecna’s eyes. His hand loosens on your throat to stop you. He knocks your right hand away, grabbing your wrist. But his left hand is too busy, focused on keeping you suspended in front of him. You push and push and push your thumb into his left eye until he’s screaming along with you and you feel the eye break in its socket.

Vecna’s not supposed to have his left eye anyway. Eddie would be proud.  

 I just want to use your love tonight. I don't want to lose your love tonight.

Vecna drops you. With a cry of pain, you land hard on your knees but instantly, you’re on your feet and running. Ahead, through the haze of red, you see it. A break in the red. A portal to the other half of your heart. Eddie. You see your love, your best friend, playing his guitar, singing his heart out to you.

You run to him.

I just want to use your love tonight. I don't want to lose your love tonight,

You picture every smile he ever gave you. Every hug, every kiss on the forehead, every brush of his hand. You’re coming Eddie. Just keep singing.

Oh, I don't want to lose your love.

I don't wanna, no, I don't wanna.

I don't wanna lose.

You’re almost there. He’s getting clearer and clearer. You can see the sweat on his brow, the concentration on his face as he plays your favorite song. The song that always makes you think of him. The one you insisted he learn so he could play it for you whenever you want.

Your love.

Your love.

Your love.

---

Eddie finishes the last chord and hears you gasp. He manages to sling his guitar onto his back with just enough time to catch you as you fall out of the air. Your eyes are back and filled with tears. You’re crying and clinging to him, and he’s holding you tight, saying your name over and over again.

“Eddie!” you’re sobbing, clutching his leather coat, and burying your face in his chest.

“I’m here, I’m here, babe. You did it. You came back to me.”

The others engulf the both of you in a group hug. In the back of your mind, you can hear Vecna growling in anger. But he can’t get you right now. You’re surrounded by love, not just Eddie’s love but the love of your friends.

“Come on, let’s get her inside,” Steve says, having the younger ones back up. “Get her off the ground.”

Eddie carried you into his trailer. You’re too hysterical to walk, shaking like crazy and gripping Eddie’s coat so tight your fingers go numb. “Give her some space,” Eddie says to the others. He lowers you onto the couch, but you refuse to let him go.

Your friends stay huddled by the door, clutching each other and crying, partly for relief but partly because they’re scared.

“Eddie, Eddie, he had me! He was going to—”

“I know, I know, sweetheart. But he didn’t. You fought back. You’re here, with me, where you belong.”

“I love you.” The words are tumbling out before you can stop them. Pulling away from Eddie’s chest, you take his face in your hands. “I love you, Eddie. Damn it, I’m in love with you. I have been for years. And I thought…I thought I was going to die without telling you. I’m sorry—”

He’s kissing you before you can finish your thought. Arms around your waist, tugging you onto his lap, he’s kissing the life out of you.

Steve turns his back on the display, hiding you guys from the prying eyes of the group. “Alright, everybody outside. Let’s give them a moment.”

No one argues.

You and Eddie are left alone, kissing heatedly. His lips are as soft as you always imagined them to be and when his tongue pushes past your lips to find yours, all you can do is hold onto him for dear life. You’re back. He brought you back.

When the kiss finally ends, you don’t draw away. You stay as close as you can, your forehead touching his. “I’ve waited so long to hear you say those words,” he says, stroking your cheek. “I fucking love you too.”

“Kiss me.”

“I’m never doing anything else.”

Your lips collide once more and your heart sings.

[h4chi]

— # YOUNG LUV

my love's so young, I'm young, at a sweet age, i can't only look at you. cold, I'm cold, a dark night, that even if it's beautiful, it's not warm. maybe I'm just fine on the outside. anyway, baby, I'm sorry for my young love

WARNINGS angst, breakup, unrequited love (yoshi doesn’t love u anymore), not proofread, english is not my first language

WORD COUNT 699

PAIRING yoshi x gn reader

NOTES tried writing angst…. this one’s inspired by stayc’s young luv ! so i suggest to listen to it while reading :) also tried writing gn reader wohooo this is my upgrade guys. AND I CANT ADD THE CUT AGAIN ??????? crying

TREASURE MASTERLIST !

your love for yoshi blossomed back in middle school, when you saw him for the first time. it was the first day of school, and he arrived late, his hair messy and his uniform’s buttons improperly tied.

you didn’t pay much mind to him, doing so when the teacher decided to seat him next to you. he was a diligent student, and he helped you occasionally when you would ask him to.

your friendship started to grow quickly, and before you knew it, you caught feelings.

catching feelings for yoshi was the best mistake you did, and it was something inevitable. he was just mesmerizing, his visuals breathtaking, his voice soothing and personality charming in many aspects. his words were enchanting and always managed to hit the sweetest spot in your poor heart. he was attentive to anything you did, anything you said and anything that happened to you.

he would always care for you more than you did for yourself. when you scratched your knee, he was already bandaging you with some cute hello kitty patches. when you forgot to do your homework, he would let you copy his, but only if you promised to buy him a snack, which wasn’t quite an inconvenience for you.

he was comforting, and helped you get past many sad moments in your life, some more serious than others. for example, when you got a bad grade in your favorite subject, he decided to buy you your favorite ice cream flavor and spend the evening binge watching movies.

he was devoted to the things he loved doing, music being at the top of all. he was always working on some new pieces and would always ask you to listen to them so you could give an honest review. he cherished your opinion, and that made you feel important.

he was extremely elegant, from the way he acted to the way he slept. while walking, he would look so regal despite being only in his pajamas, and when he would cook for the two of you, you could never stop your heart from beating so fast at such a sight.

he was just good at everything, and even more from your point of view. he glowed under your attentive gaze, his flawless features sparkling just like edward cullen under the warm rays of sun.

so when he confessed his love to you under a sakura tree just like in a romantic movie, you couldn’t refuse, not that you would’ve did anyways.

yoshi was a very dedicated partner. he was more at ease around you now that you were dating, and very much more clingy.

you loved him with every fiber of your heart, and you were every day that passed grateful such a good person chose you.

you two would go on cute picnic dates, have study sessions together, cook and try new recipes, and have movie nights, your place or his, it didn’t matter when you were together.

he was your pillar, always there when you needed him the most. your love was young. young and beautiful.

yet, as flowers bloom in spring, they also wither in autumn, just like your relationship did.

you were quick to notice how his behavior towards you changed, but you decided not to address it and wait for him to explain, avoiding to seem paranoid. yet he never had time to do so, much more to spend with you. he was slowly distancing himself, and you couldn’t stop it from happening.

“yn, we need to talk.”

you already knew what was about to come, and that’s why you didn’t feel sad. honestly, you felt relieved. relieved because you both wouldn’t have to fake anymore.

“i’m sorry i couldn’t be the one for you, yn.”

yoshi smiled sadly while hugging you one last time, breaking the physical contact to look you in the eyes. they showed both gratefulness and anger. gratefulness because you had the opportunity to be with someone like him, anger because you couldn’t keep him next you. anger because you failed.

“it’s okay, yosh. i’m sure you did your best.”

maybe you’re just fine on the outside. “anyway, i’m sorry for my young love.”

© H4CHI 2022 do not copy or repost anywhere.

[share-bear12]

how come i havent found a fic where like atsumu crushes y/n's heart into a million pieces?

to be more specific:

y/n has like hella trust issues and thinks they will never find love and that no one will ever love them

so y/n's bestie loves them to the world and back and wants them to find love bc they really deserve it

and so bestie sets up a date but y/n just thought they were hanging out

"hey y/n meet me at the cafe tomorrow, and dress all cute bc i wanna take pictures" or some shit like that idk

so then y/n goes and while they wait for their bestie, atsumu walks up to them and says like, y/n's bestie told him to meet them there

y/n curses their bestie in their head but decides to go along w/ it bc they want to change as a person and have a better mindset than "no one will ever love me"

for astumu he like, goes along w/ it bc he's getting bored w/ sleeping around so he wanted to try this out

it's really hard for y/n to open up but atsumu is patient w/ them bc something about them draws him in and he cant get enough,, really trying to get to know them ya know?

hes gentile w/ them and wants to know more about them & like he's falling in love yeah?

now idk about all the stuff happing between, maybe lil bit of smut, fluff, y/n's internal monologue of their self-destructive thoughts (he doesn't actually love, blah, blah,..)

when going to visit atusmu at his apartment (at this point in their relationship, they got the keys to each others place) y/n walks in on him & another woman, who they dont recognize

after a few weeks of not seeing each other after that, y/n agrees to meet up w/ atsumu so he can explain everything

they meet up at the cafe where they first met and he spills that he has fallen out of love and he's sorry for hurting y/n

after the talk everything comes crashing down & idk i dont want to get into detail BUT YALL GET WHERE IM GOING?!???

ofc i have other endings in mind, like y/n & atsumu end up together bc it was like idk a misunderstanding hahahdidj

ANYWAYS I THOUGHT OF THIS SCENARIO DURING WORK BAHAHAHAH

haha can yall tell i love angst? xdxdxd

[technowoah]

Cant Handle This

Quackity's facade keeps breaking, and he tries to keep the pieces together. You're the only one who can make him show his true self

- Quackity x gen neutral reader

- this is a long one yall.

Now playing...

Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant)

Bo Burnham

0:01 ─●──────── 3:29

⚠︎ swearing, angst, mentions of mcyttwt, based on the song above, and ofc its not proofread

Part of my Inside Special!

Quackity sat in his chair currently streaming right now, he seemed like he was having a good time from your spot on his bed. You were currently laying on his bed after he invited you here to relax.

You two had laid in his bed just enjoying eachothers company until he got a call from Tommy saying he was ready for the lore stream which sent Alex into a frenzy. Alex sent out a quick "Im sorry" about the lateness of his stream and then quickly set everything up.

He then started to stream which left you alone on the the bed to your own devices. You were scrolling through Twitter looking at Alex's fans talk about what's happening on the stream and posting screenshots of his character and himself.

You admired him from afar as he ended the lore part of his stream, he took time to type on his phone to text you that he decided to stream longer to talk to his fans. He looked to you and you have him a nod with a smile and he gave one back.

"Hey guys! That's the end of the lore!" He exclaimed to his chat as he types at his computer setting a new background.

You continued to listen to him praise his chat for supporting him and making him be able to make those types of streams. You were always proud of Alex no matter what he did, you were always his number one supporter no matter what happened in reality or on the internet.

"So anyways! I wanted to talk to you guys! How are you all?" He smiled at his camera looking back and forth from his chat.

◇T0mm71nn1t: THE STREAM WAS SO GOOD QUACKITY

"Oh thank you! Im glad I could share this with you. It takes so much to put into these movite type streams, so I know now it is all worth it."

Quackity's pov. . .

He felt so overwhelmed, he shouldn't have began to stream again. The stress of putting everything together, plus being late to the stream made him rush into it more. He just wanted to lay back down with his lover who was enjoying watching him stream, and that's the goal he wants. His goal was to entertain, it was his job and he doesn't want to fail, he doesn't want to crack.

◇Mayatooni3: WE LOVE YOU QUACKITY

◇catiiequak: QUACKITY ITS MY BIRTHDAY CAN I GET A HAPPY BIRTHDAY??

◇yriaaolic: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

"Happy Birthday!" He said seeing the comment pass in a second. "Happy Birthday to anyone who's Birthday it is today."

Right now it was hard. It was hard to keep up when there was always a constant demand, the constant need to be perfect, his past being brought up, and trying to one-up his content everytime. He loved this, but at the same time it had the same weight as a job.

In the back of his mind he knew the "When is Quackity streaming???" is mostly lighthearted, he never wants to leave.

"Quack are you okay? Im fine! Just thinking about how to get something to eat at 2am." He laughed lying to his fans, he wanted to stop this stream.

He kept looking over to his lover lying their head on his pillow scrolling through their phone and alternating their vision from him and their phone. He always caught a glimpse of their small smile everytime he looked. He was doing something right.

"Do yall think Taco Bell is open? The only problem I have is that Im fucking starving."

He paused for a moment taking a deep breath trying to keep his emotions down. The stress was getting to him, and he fucking knew it, but he didnt stop. He was going to get burnt out eventually and stop streaming and YouTube all together, but he needed this. He needed a break, he needed to take time for himself and stop putting on a happy face when he isnt.

TTS ◇pulixsaxe: "Did you see what was happening on Twitter quackity?"

"Wait what's happening on Twitter?" He asked with a weary laugh.

I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are

Pringle cans, and burritos

The truth is, my biggest problem's you,

Your eyes widened as he mentioned Twitter. Truth be told he was trending because of his stream, yes, but also they brung up stuff from his past again in the wake of another content creator's past or present being brought up. You hadn't paid attention to that, you were only getting fueled up from Twitter bringing up an issue that he already had addressed.

Tempted to speak and tell him its fine, he already spoke up before you.

"I bet it's fine! I dont wanna... I don't need to look." He said with a smile. He always had that smile on.

Either it was a full smile or a half smile. It never left his face and it comforted you somehow. Maybe it was that you were his significant other, but you always wondered if anyone saw the same things as you. The things like his smile that never left his face.

"Yeah! I dont need to look at that." He waved his hand dismissing the comment away. He then sighed letting his shoulders relax as you saw his smile fade and his eyes close for a second and immediately put that small smile back on his face while his eyes were glossy, but bright.

He needed to end this stream soon. You saw his face fall then in a split second come back to life except his eyes were glossy with tears. You wondered if anyone else noticed.

"I want to please you

But I want to stay true to myself

I want to give you the night out that you deserve"

His eyes tearful as he tried to blink them away trying to not make a scene.

"Sorry! Allergies ugh!" He said as he wiped his tears away claiming them as allergies.

"Are you crying? No! Im not a pussy!" He yelled at his chat in a joking manner.

He was crying and he felt weak. He felt emotionally weak, and weak as in not strong, he didn't feel strong and his lover who was sitting on his bed with a concerned look on their face always told him that it's okay to feel weak. The only meaningful thing is how you pick yourself up, they always told him, bur now he felt at rock bottom.

He wanted to give his fans "himself", the goofy, lovable, loud, quick-witted, Quackity. But then again his lover always told him to separate Quackity from Alex. He wanted to give himself to his audience, he wanted to be authentic and share himself, but he cant. Alex isn't all laughs, he is serious, calmer, and when he gets on the screen is when he lets it all out then goes back to his more calmer self. That's not what they want.

"But I want to say what I think

And not care what you think about it"

Giving himself meant dialing back, he wants to tell how hes actually feeling, he wants to say what he thinks about Twitter, what he thinks about certain friends, about his fanbase, and then leave it alone. He wanted to delete social media and then speak his mind without knowing what anyone is saying about it. It was paradise to him, but of course it cant be that way and that's what he hates. He feels like a actor when he really wants to be himself.

"A part of me loves you,"

Alex loved his fanbase, he had such a supportive fanbase that loved his content. Some of them did atleast he didn't fully know, but they gave him the courage to do this time and time again knowing that his content is at least taking them from the harsh reality of real life for a few minutes or hours. This was the reason he did this, for them.

Alex would never admit this but they boosted his ego too, it would for anyone. The fact that there were people who wanted and enjoyed content from him made him feel good about himself.

"part of me hates you"

He hated the contant criticisms, he hates that they feed his ego so much that it makes him want to stream more to feel good about himself and to make people get away for awhile. Alex knew inside of his heart he couldn't truly hate his fanbase, they gave him everything he ever wanted. He hates them for that and that's such a scary thing. He never fails to wonder if he did the things to deserve all the love and hate he gets.

"Part of me needs you,"

They feed his ego, they make him want to go above and beyond. Alex knows that his fanbase is the reason he is here in this chair infront of three expensive monitors. He knows that this is some sort of a job that he needed. He needed the push to keep going and that was them, it was the 200k people watching his stream watching him answer questions about him and

"part of me fears you"

He was fearful of loosing himself to them. Loosing his authenticity to them was something he feared. He didnt want his funny, loud persona to consume him and make him forget about Alex instead of Quackity. He fears what they think as well, he claims he doesnt care, but he does he wants to please them. It feels like two parts of his brain fighting about if he should care or not.

"And I don't think that I can handle this right now"

The text-to-speech bot continued to speak out people's comments that theu paid for while he sat there quietly. He bit his bottom lip trying to not break down infront of everyone he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong.

If he looked up at the camera everyone would see his tears, they would see him breaking.

He played it off as he brough his shirt up to wipe the tears away, claiming it as sweat.

"Im good! Im sorry I spaced out for a second." He shook his head.

He saw you look at him with that same concerned look on your face. As he switched his gaze between you and his computer, he felt his tears come back again.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"Alex." You tried to get his attention.

"Yeah guys Im fine!"

"Alex"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I have plans later for another lore stream, so Ill start doing that later tonight."

"ALEX!" You yelled and his head turned around to face you.

"What?" He laughed, biting his lip again.

You couldn't stop him doing this, you could try to course him into going to bed, but right now you couldn't find the words. You just stared at him while he looked at you with a somber smile trying to tell you that he was okay.

He felt his mind telling himself that he need to rest. He wouldnt allow himself to and thats why he was breaking down.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

Alex was blinking rapidly trying to keep his breathing and tears at bay while he answered his fans.

"My allergies are fine! And I drank water today."

◇moonchild21: WE LOVE YOU

◇sopusand: Why do you look like that?

◇wuackityoo: are you crying??

"Crying is for the weak! I am a strong manly man! Im crying cause I noticed how alpha I am!" He tried to play it off as a "Im a man" joke but you could see right through it.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

You had sent a quick text to Alex which told him to end the stream for his own mental health, but he left the message unread. He began sniffing and the wiping his eyes again. It was a wreck and you couldn't seem to stop it without literally dragging him out of his chair.

Meanwhile the screens were getting to Alex. Alex's eyes were getting tired of the bright screens and the rapid messages that popped up on the screen overwhelmed him for what it seemed like the first time ever in his strraming career. He wanted to give them the fun night they deserved and wanted, but he knows it's getting hard to. He dosent know how long he can keep this up.

As Alex kept joking around about his eyes and physical state the chat was filled with "LMAO" and "HAHAHA" which fuled him more and then at the same time makes him want to stop.

Look at them, they're just staring at me, like

"Come and watch the skinny kid with a

Steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts

To give you what he cannot give himself"

He cannot give himself the luxury of happiness. As he went on with his career it became more and more like a chore, there was mostly down days and of course there were up days, but recently Alex gave his fans the happiness and laughes they wanted while when he turned off the camera he couldn't replicate that same energy as he had before.

It messed him up, he felt himself become separated from his streaming. He wasn't being himself anymore he was being Quackity and that became more apparent as the days passed. He wanted to be himself on camera and at first thats what he thought he was doing. He was himself then it turned into a persona.

Alex wasn't okay and he he needed to take a break from the internet for a while, but he tries to act like he dosent have a dilemma going on inside of his head everytime he sits in this seat. Its for the fans.

"Think that I can handle this right-

I don't think that I can handle this right-

They don't even know the half of this right-

They don't even know the half of it"

"Alex you need to end the stream. Please?"

He looked towards you again where you moved your position from the middle of the bed to sitting up on the end of the bed.

"Ive told you millions of times." He paused for a moment looking down at his lap before looking back up to you. "Im-Im okay." He nodded trying to convince you.

"But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show

I should probably just shut up and do my job, so here I go"

"Cant you belive them!" He laughed to his camera. You scoffed at his comment but still kept an eye on him as he talked.

You didnt need to baby him at all, but right now you were worried about your lover.

Alex continued talking and talking, which you drowned out. You were focused on his face and how he faltered time to time just showing a small frown.

He laughed and showed them a good time even though he was hurting. He kept going and going and you were convinced he was going to hold out until you heard him sniff multiple times while trying to make a joke about the new Minecraft update and how the glow squid has no use.

"Stupid ass squid! Why- why? Its no use expect for glowing ink. Who voted for that!?"

You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme

And if they still don't understand you, then you run it one more time

"Dumbass squid!" He pulled up a picture if the squid as he yelled at it.

You began to worry even more as you saw tears running down his face. He quickly tried to wipe them away, but he knew everyone saw.

Handle this right

You don't even know the half of this right now

Right now (Haa!)

Now

Handle this right

I'll handle this right, I handle this right now

Alex leaned back in his seat and had a blank stare towards the monitor. Looked down for a second and then you heard sobbing coming from his spot. Alex had his head in his hands and was crying harshly into them.

He had finally broken, he couldn't stop the tears from coming and the loud sobs that came from his mouth. He was trying to desperately breathe in to be able to sob, but ended up hiccuping while doing so.

Your eyes widened as you rushed to him resting your hand on his knees and you kneeling infront of him.

"I cant do fu-fucking anything!" He yelled into his hands.

"Hey! I know. Its okay." You tried to console him.

"Its not I try so hard! And I-"

You cut him off. "You are a hard worker Alex and you deserve a week or two off. Take care of you self babe." You stood up bringing his hand with you and trying to make him stand up. He followed your movements and stood up with you putting his head on your shoulder crying into it.

"I just ca-cant right now!"

"You dont have to do anything right now babe."

"Im sorry!" Alex sobbed.

"Dont be." You said bluntly trying to get your lover to calm down.

You rubbed his back soothingly as he sniffled into your shoulder. "Im sorry for ruining your shirt." He tried to laugh through his tears.

"Dont be sorry! Please. You just need rest okay?" You kissed his forehead and he nodded in response.

Alex raised his head up an started to pepper kisses all over your face as you laughed. He gave you one last peck on the lips as he walked away to quickly change into night clothes. You smiled as he laid underneath the covers and continued to softly cry into his sheets. At least he was in bed and not makijg himself even worse.

He couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it was like a flood that could only be stopped with time. He felt like a boulder was lifted off his shoulders only to be replaced with smaller rocks. The smaller rocks was the guilt he held. He felt guilty of making his lover worry about him, he didnt want you to worry.

You rushed over to his desk and turned off the stream and his computers not even bothering to give them a goodnight or goodbye. After the computer lights were turned off it was quite dark in the room except for small light.

Finally you were where you wanted to be all day, in bed with Alex. But this wasnt the predicament you wanted.

"Forgive me. I just cant do shit right can I?" His eyes were still full of tears and he was getting tired.

"Alex dont listen to anyone but yourself." You tried to console him.

"That's what I'm telling myself."

Silence filled the room as you looked at him through tearful eyes of your own.

"Alex, you're so amazing and I cant even tell you how much I appreciate you, and how much you change my life. You do so much shit right its scary sometimes. Some days I think you're perfect, but there's-"

"There's no such thing as perfect." Alex finished your sentence.

"Exactly! Even the best people have their downfalls, they just dont show it. And Alex I know you struggle with that! All I can say is that I love you for you." You finished.

"Can I talk to you about my dilemmas?" He tried to laugh again.

"Tomorrow we can talk. We both need the rest." You said to him as he closed his eyes and nodded in response. He gave you a kiss on you lips before laying back down to sleep.

"Thank you."

"Thank you

Good night

I hope you're happy"

TRENDING

ARE YOU OKAY

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QUACKITY

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ARE YOU OKAY QUACKITY?

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[estrel]

Are You Happy? (Save Them Some Pie)

HAPPY 42ND BIRTHDAY, DEAN!! this is my gift to him for being my comfort person that i would hug on sight if given the chance 💗 love you dude, may you indulge in copious amounts of pie. ~ 1.5k words.

also dedicated to marlo ( @heller-jensen ), jace ( @thiscastielhasflown ) and dee ( @castee-yel ) thanks for bein real ones <3

[READ ON AO3]

The day had already started out weird enough.

Dean had woken up drenched in sweat, mind racing with the last lingering thoughts of a nightmare. A vamp nest that he and Sam had been hunting, Dean dying in the most ludicrous way possible, and driving Baby down a long road for an indiscriminate amount of time in a supposed heaven that his father (his father) also co-habited. Needless to say, the dream had come out of nowhere, but it was easy enough to forget once the smell of bacon made its way into his room.

Breakfast was hardy and quick, with enough coffee to fuel him for the rest of the day as he skimmed the internet for a possible case. He had the itch, but apparently, looking around at the three sleepy faces around him at the table, no one else did.

He packed up anyway, preparing for what would likely be an easy salt-n-burn; he’d be gone for only a few hours, tops. On his way out, Cas stops him before he can scale the stairs, arm gripping his shoulder tightly. There’s a memory, briefly—the same hand, the same shoulder. Blood.

Dean looks down at it. Back at Cas.

“…Yeah?”

After a moment, Cas lets go. He steps back half an inch as if he had forgotten himself. “Just…be careful.”

Dean nods, moving to leave again, taking the awkwardness as both a Cas thing and a morning thing and content to leave it at that. 

“And,” Cas says. Dean turns back.

“Come home.”

//

Dean picks up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Dean, hey! It’s, uh. It’s me. Krissy?”

Dean feels himself begin to smile, mindful of the road ahead of him. He balances his phone on his thigh while he drives.

“Hey, kid! Long time no call. How are you? Everything okay?”

The case had been as easy as Dean had suspected, but he had that familiar muscle ache and heaviness to his eyes that solo cases usually gave him.

Besides that, he was getting a little confused about all of the calls he’d been getting today. Before Krissy, it had been Garth, and before that, Claire and Jody and…

“Uh, yeah, dude, everything’s good. Um. How are you? How’s Sam and that angel of yours?”

Dean swallows to keep from choking, or potentially crashing the car.

“They’re good. Yeah…good.” Alive, he wants to say, back from the dead, probably in the DeanCave watching Scooby Doo without him. “Sorry, Krissy, ah,” he steps off the break to make a left, “I’m actually on my way home right now. Was there something I could help you with?”

There’s a pause, and Dean chances a glance at his phone to see if the call had dropped off. It hadn’t.

“Krissy?”

“I,” she huffs in what sounds like a laugh, “Nothing, Dean. You get home safe, okay?”

“Sure thing.”

“And hey,” Krissy says, before he can say his goodbyes, “Uh, make sure you save some pie for everybody else.”

Dean’s eyebrows furrow a bit, but he laughs. “I will. Take care of yourself.”

“Bye, Dean.”

“Ba-bye.”

//

Dean’s still mulling over the pie comment when he nearly falls down the stairs, squinting into the darkness of the Bunker.

“What the hell?” he asks, voice hoarse around the high note. “Guys?”

When there’s no immediate answer, Dean’s instincts kick in. He pulls out his gun and gently drops his bag, waiting a moment for his eyes to adjust so he can try for the stairs.

Before he can, though, the lights kick back on. His gaze locks onto the scene below, and Dean slowly lowers his gun.

“Happy birthday!” Jack says, the sound of a party horn whining shortly after. Beside him, Cas pulls the string of a party popper, and he jerks as bits of confetti fall around him and into his hair.

Skeptically, Dean starts descending down the stairs.

“You…this…” he manages.

“It’s your birthday, dumbass,” Sam says, swooping forward to slap a party hat on Dean’s head as soon as he’s made the landing. He smiles.

“Oh…kay.” Around them, the Bunker looks pretty normal. The only difference is the array of pies on one of the library tables, next to what looks like home made rice krispie treats, and a couple of birthday-themed plates and napkins. That, and the confetti from Cas’ party popper that litters the floor. “Are you sure?”

Cas frowns at Sam. “Sam was certain. I can’t imagine he’d get the day wrong, but he has had quite severe brain trauma over the years. Perhaps…” Cas reaches out to Sam’s head, probably intent on searching his brain for said trauma, or for the date of Dean’s actual birthday. Sam swats his hand away.

“Hey, no. My trauma is fine. Dean,” Sam redirects his attention to him, “It’s today. Did you really forget?”

Dean shrugs, trying to piece the day together from the beginning. Shitty dream, good breakfast, the three of them weirdly insisting on staying at the Bunker…the calls. Save some pie for everybody else.

He laughs. “So that’s what she meant.”

“That’s what who meant?” Jack asks. He’s wearing a party hat, too, with ridiculous stripes of blue and pink and purple patterned onto it. It matches the one currently strapped to Dean’s own. He shakes his head.

“You’re telling me all of you knew? This whole time? And…and…” He looks around again, pointing vaguely at the table and the confetti. “You put this all together for me?”

Sam shoves his arm playfully. “Course we did. Now quit pouting and come eat some pie.”

//

Sam is fast asleep, sprawled out on the couch hours later with one of his hands brushing the floor. Dean thinks he spots drool on the pillow underneath him. 

Cas has been quiet next to Dean, at least since Jack had disappeared into the kitchen an hour ago and hadn’t come back, thoughtfully tracing the lip of his beer bottle with his finger. 

“Something on your mind?” Dean asks, because he wants to know.

Cas continues unbothered. Scooby Doo reruns play in the background. Dean almost repeats the question, but Cas eventually lifts his gaze to stare at him.

“Are you happy?” 

Dean presses his mouth shut. Licks his lips. He takes just as long to answer.

“You know what,” he smiles. “I think I am.”

Cas smiles back at him, soft and genuine. The skin around his eyes crinkling tells more than the gentle upturn of his mouth. 

Dean swallows, nervously putting his beer down and turning it a few times until his fingers are wet with the condensation. 

“What, uh. What about you?” He swallows again. “You happy?”

What he really wants to ask, though, is if they were good. If, after recent events, they were still the same. If Cas was still fine with “just being.”

He’s quiet again. Dean thinks he deserves that, and tries to pay attention to the TV, but the voice in his head is too loud. Cas has to tap his knee to get his attention again.

“Hm?”

“I was saying,” he moves his hand back, “that I’m sorry I didn’t get you a gift.”

Dean stares at him. “What are you talking about?”

Cas looks confused, like he’s about to repeat what he just said. Dean stops him short with a wave of his hand. 

“Dude, you just got back from the dead, alright? That’s—that’s gift enough to last me a lifetime. Don’t worry about a gift.”

Cas frowns, and Dean rolls his eyes. It’s another few moments of tense silence, until Dean breaks it, his heart pounding in his chest.

“But, uh,” he says, “I might have a gift for you.”

“Dean, we don’t share a birthday. It’s not customary to gift me something, especially when I haven’t given you—“

“Cas,” he groans, officially putting his beer aside and facing him. Cas’ features are lit up with the colors of the TV. Dean reaches a hand up to pluck confetti from his hair, a green piece that he’d been eyeing all night. Hesitating, he lets his hand fall to Cas’ face, smoothing over his cheek and jaw. The TV paints his cheekbone purple. Dean brushes his thumb over it. “Just...shut up and let me do this.” 

Cas tilts his head, eyebrows furrowed in that way of his, and Dean thinks he looks perfect. When he dips forward and presses their lips together, it’s perfect, perfect, perfect. He’s warm, his face is burning, eyes almost watering when he pulls away.

Dean lets his forehead rest on Cas’, heartbeat still crazy. He closes his eyes. “We can have it, Cas. This. We can have this.”

Cas takes Dean’s face in his hands, lifts it a little to bring them face to face again, so that he’s looking into Dean’s eyes.

“I’d like that, Dean,” he says, and his eyes are wet, too. Happy, Dean thinks.

“Your gift to me?” Dean manages, smile wobbly. He’s teasing, trying to bring down the weight of this without getting rid of all of it. He likes this type of adrenaline rush, different from any hunt he’s been on. Better.

Cas smiles. “I think technically it was you that gifted me, but, yes. My gift to you, if you’ll take it.”

“Gladly,” Dean says.

Cas hums back, brushing his fingers through the hair at the nape of Dean’s neck. “Happy birthday, Dean.” He leaves a kiss on his forehead.

Happy. 

Dean thinks, for the first time, as he pulls more confetti from Cas’ hair, that it actually is. 

—

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