#anyway anyway anyway. i think hermann would like it

[unnonexistence]

hermann gottlieb WOULD play magic the gathering

[vampiremansionpoolboy-moved]

going insane over the fact that happiness and care and concern and love is underneath every interaction between newt and hermann in pacific rim

[sophsicle]

it's so weird reading king/pirate fanfiction as a history student because i keep wondering if the most autocratic of dictators and the biggest, cruelest idiots who have ever ruled monarchies had secret side flings whose love "transcended space and time.” like LOL imagine if tsar nicholas ii had a gay side boo. i wonder if his relationship would more closely resemble jegulus or wolfstar or rosekiller. hard to imagine but i cant help it. nicholas x rasputin my otp!! LMAO this is the type of stuff your writing inspires in me.

k but they literally did tho

like Elizabeth I and Robert Dudley? grew up outlaws, basically loved each other until the day they died but just couldn't be together because of timing and politics (she also fucks around with a pirate for a bit, i love her so much)

King James I / V and his lover the Duke of Buckingham who becomes a second father to James's son Charles, is there for him after his father dies and then is murdered by his political opponents???

Frederick II whose father forces him to watch as his male lover Hans Hermann von Katte is BEHEADED (jesus christ)

Alexander the Great and Hephaestion, childhood friends, who make offerings at the alters of Patroclus and Achilles, and then Hephaestion goes and dies and Alexander is destroyed and follows not too long afterwards basically from a broken heart

William of Orange was definitely also fucking around with his bffs from Holland, I'm pretty sure he builds like an addition to Hampton court for one of them but I'm too lazy to fact check that

ANYWAY i always think if you want to be a writer you should study history, cause there are so many stories right there

[sailingshipz09]

Because @stellariders & @chicagofires are fueling this fire & I have very minimal self-control, here we fucking go.

First, let me preface this rant with the following context. This situation triggers me so much because I am a WOC in a predominantly male industry so I see myself in the struggles that Stella has been exposed to & it's simply not fucking fair. So this take will be framed from my POV...Perspective & Perception. The fact that I have to preface this rant with the above statement instead of just saying how I feel is exactly the fucking point I'm about to make 🙃

(Grab a snacky snack)

"You have to be what?"... you have to be 2x as good, work 3x as hard, to receive HALF of the recognition, praise, grace, & chances. They can fail upwards or even have a promotion fall into their hands "cough cough" whereas you have to drive yourself up the wall just to prove that you're worthy of the opportunity. Because ONE mistake can & will follow you throughout your entire career. & that constantly plays in the background, like static when it comes to Stella Kidd. & I feel like Stella knows that, which is why she came in, did her job, did it damn good, & proved that she can hang with the best of the best at 51 but it was never quite enough for some people & i wonder why. There's never been a moment where she has been above reproach or criticism. How can she be out of fear of being labeled difficult, aggressive, or hard to work with as the only "broad on truck" & let me be clear I'm using that term & phrase because thats exactly what Hermann said when she joined truck 81.... yuck! Anyway, how can she make a mistake when the few mistakes she has made have followed her. She fucked up in 7x02 why is it S10 & Casey if implying she can't come with him when Severide & squad 3 were under water because she might be to emotionally charged. (LOL excuse me but didnt you jump out of a moving firetruck when your poor Sylvie was hurt, hypocrite much?) Didn't see Brett or Violet volunteering to hop on the boat & Stella is a trained paramedic or EMT so she would have been an asset. She messed up in S8 so why did they just take away her teaching at the academy versus addressing burnout & how to prioritize her time to be able to do both, because she was & is fully capable of doing both she just needed direction & support...She made a mistake in S10 by going mia & she apologized profusely for it but it still felt like Kelly held back & almost iced her out a bit longer than necessary. But in S9 when he royally messed up she immediately took him back & told him she wasn't going to let him get away again even though it wasn't her fault, he iced her out to begin with. Oh not even touching on the fact that him icing her out in S9 absolutely fucked with her confidence in her abilities to the point she almost skipped out on the LT exam.....🙂

When her CAPTAIN no less saw her burning it on all fronts in S8.. what did he do? How did he act? Was it with compassion or care, or did he get snappy & reprimand? Did Stella argue, talk back, or provide excuses? No, instead, she took accountability for her actions & tried to do better even though she KNEW she was drowning & overwhelmed. Instead of creating a safe space for her to be like hey captain, I'm struggling prioritizing how you manage she went internal & pushed herself to the brink of self exhaustion that she could have killed herself or someone else.

So let's talk about how Gallo on the other hand came in & had his own share of potential life or death mistakes with Casey & how he was down right disrespectful to Pelham & how he was inappropriate in the attitude & tone he took with Stella when questioning her about Carver. I never saw fucking reddit think pieces on how disrespectful, cocky, arrogant or annoying he was. Nope! He got a pass & a slap on the wrist time & time again. Casey even sat down with him, bought him a beer & they talked it out. So why couldnt Stella get that same grace? Yet when Stella very respectfully told Pelham "hey hesrd you are a great ff but I'll have to see for myself" parts of this fandom erupted, calling her all types of jealousy , entitled, etc. Never once saw Stella defy Pelhams commands or undermined his leadership. I dis however see her lay her busding career down on the line for a man she barely knew but did it because it was the right thing to do.

Casey was ready to cut Gallo loose on HIS FIRST fuck up after Boden told Casey he didn't want him at 51 because he was reckless. Had it not been for Boden providing Casey with Gallos' backstory, he would have cut him loose, i believe. Funny how Boden had to tell Casey about Gallos family history but Stella took it upon herself to try & work with & get to know Carvers backstory AFTER Boden, her mentor, her father figure & CHIEF told her who her next replacement on 51 was going to be.... Funny how the most turnover truck saw in 10 years was Jimmy, Gabby (chose not to return to truck) & Otis yet Stella is 2.5-3 years in & she's had to navigate through Mason, Gallo, Gibson, while dealing with shit from Carver & Damon.... you see the picture I'm painting here!?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but outside of Carver... who else has Boden forced his officers to take on their rig when they were explicitly against it..... I'll wait. Oh, but because "he's 51 material," you have to find a way to manage his bullshit & if you rewatch S11, Carver had a lot of BS. And I know we like Carver now because they abandoned the I have a crush on my married LT storyline, but I had actually forgotten how bad he was as an EMPLOYEE!

He is hot tempered & showcased high levels of aggression & anger in the workplace. Imagine Stella getting upset & punching or throwing things. Yelling at her LT or engaging in behavior that would have landed her in jail. Did we forget that this incident in S12 is Carvers' second physical altercation with a civilian... Never thought I'd be referencing Emma Jacobs, but one incident in the file is a hiccup.. two looks like a pattern of him not being able to control his temperament. We've seen Stella drunk ONE time because she'd been transferred out & they acted like she was being biligerant (go back & watch the scene & just look at how they're looking at her). Carver, however, is allowed to get drunk thrown in jail, call his LT to bail him out & Stella's supposed to what? Take it, leave her damn job in the middle of the night just for him to not be apologetic at ALL & then tell her oh this needs to stay been us. LMAO EXCUSE ME WHAT!!!!? & it would be one thing if this was a one off but AGAIN nope later in the SAME season he didn't just get himself into a physical altercation but dragged Gallo, Mouch, & Ritter into it also because he refused to REGULATE & walk away.

But wait, there's more. Remember how he went off on his LT in the locker room because he was upset & then proceeded to get drunk & call out on one shift & NCNS on another leaving her with no time to find a decent floater... & even after Kelly explicitly told her that she would lose no respect if she cut him loose, what did she do... she went to his apartment to check on him, make sure he was alright & gave him ANOTHER chance. Matt Casey, Kelly Severide & Hermann would absolutely never & I'm not saying it's a bad thing that Stella gave him so many chances what I'm saying is i don't feel like her reasoning behind all the chances were actually her own but more so rooted in not wanting it to be a failure on her part in the eyes of Boden. & that for me is problematic as hell.

Even in S12... for Carver to get into that restaurant brawl & immediately take furlough afterwards was just such a cowardly move because here you are AGAIN leaving your LT high & fucking dry on truck during a crirical time no less with Boden being up for that promotion!

Now, moving into this Damon storyline, I'm going to reserve a majority of my thoughts until we actually get to see it play out. However, one thing in the finale that was alarming to me was Stella's conversation with Violet. I interpreted it as Stella had all intentions of cutting Damon loose. He was a floater, she owed that man no loyalty & she specifically said she was in no rush to lock anyone down permanently after the Gibson issue. However, again, it felt like Stella decided to keep him on longer because of other external factors. ie: Carver leaving her high & dry again & Kelly seemed to like him. Those to me aren't good enough reasons because she's not making decisions that honor her experience with this man rather than those around her.

The reality is that Stella could have lost her command or even worse because of that brawl. That man could have reported them to the CFD brass, called the cops, blasted them in the media & SUED the CFD. & the first thing they would have asked Stella was why she did not have control of the scene or her direct reports. They would have hung this on her & the old hags at CFD would have been like see this is why women shouldn't be officers." Blah blah blah. The repeecussions would have been so much greater for Stella & could have derailed what shes worked so hard for & the fact that Carver & Damon don't get that irks me because they should have NEVER put her in that position to begin with. You don't bring reproach on your leader especially when your leader has run through walls to protect you, bailed you out of jail, hell thrown herself on top of you to shield you from a blast, etc.

& so in conclusion my next gripe is with the writers & showrunners because I wonder if they know. I wonder if they know & they're choosing to reinforce these stereotypical experiences without effectively addressing them. I wonder if they know that they're not romanticizing it all & that its not cute or funny but infuriating that it feeds a part of this fanbase that's actually disgusting & rooted in misogyny. Or maybe they don't know & it's a mixture of unconscious bias/ ignorance.

Regardless, it's 2024 & I'm tired of it! 😫 I'm all for showing the reality & challenges that women or woc in the CFD face on a day to day but I feel like why not use it as a platform to show that just because it's embedded in the systems doesn't make it right nor does it make a requirement for Stella or any other female officer to have to endure the shit. She should be able to fucking fire or discipline Carver, Damon or whoever on HER rig without being questioned on whether or not her emotions or personal experiences are clouding her judgment because she's earned that right. She studied, she worked her ass off, she took the test, she passed & she's the LT. She shouldn't have to explain why she gave Carver or anyone certain assignments because guess what? No assignment is too big or small when lives are on the line, right? She shouldn't have to feel obligated to keep Damon on her rig just because now he's her long lost BOL that withheld the truth from her his LT & even when he decided to come clean it wasn't to her his LT. I am praying that is not the narrative they push in S13 but tbh I wouldn't be surprised because they've already set the groundwork for it. She shouldn't have to explain her reasoning or endure another year of unprofessionalism on her rig all because the patriarchy will get upset that a woman is leading/ discipling men. Reading the comments on how Stella was disciplined then in the finale really bothered me because yall can't be serious! Stella had ever right to be upset, to express that frustration & disappointment with them because at the end of the day, that was her scene, her fire fighters & her responsibility as the officer in charge.

It feels like the men on the show are allowed to have their emotions, their traumas, their demons & it be brushed over or romanticized with little to no consequence. However, that same grace is not extended to the strong female leads that have just as much trauma, pain, or demons. They vilified Gabby for hers & they try to do the same to Stella. it's not fair because if they were males, we wouldn't have the conversations of "Stella leading Grant on" "Stella putting people lives in danger" or "Stella's on a powe trip & has let her rank go to her head"

I know that was a lot & if you made it to the end of this rage rant, thank you. This has been something I've been sitting on since S11 & tbh it feels good to get it out! 🥹

[avelera]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

Ooh, thank you for this! As for tagging onward, I'm terrible at picking people and I hate to impose, so if you see this and want to fill it out just say I sent you ^^;;;

Giving Sanctuary: The Sandman, Dream/Hob, Canon Divergence AU. Basically, "What if Dream and Hob got together in 1689 when Hob was at his lowest and they bonded over the fact both of them have lost their sons?" Probably one of my most emotionally mature works, I poured a lot of my own meditations on life and grief into it, and it has some of the best dialogue I think I've written to date. I'm also quite proud that it's complete, lol, a running theme in this list.

The Only Way Out is Down: Pacific Rim, Newt/Hermann, post-Uprising but in an attempt to make sense of Uprising and add some depth and poetry to the years Newt and Hermann spent apart. Newt is trapped in a coma after the Precursors are destroyed and Hermann Drifts with him to try to wake him up. In the meantime, they pass through a mindscape inspired by Dante's Inferno, in which each of the 9 years they spent apart take on an aspect inspired by the Circles of Hell that they have to disrupt in order to move on to the next one. Basically a Newt Recovery fic that flips the script and explores how gut-wrenching and traumatizing those years would have been for both of them, but with a lot of humor and healing, this is not meant to be an angsty slog and some of my best comedy is in it too I think. Quite proud of how I interwove Dante's "Inferno" into the structure of the story, quite proud of the fact it's finished and novel-length, and I think I grew at writing character voices and sustaining them throughout a massively long fic with this one. I still jump to read any comments I get for this one because I'm so proud of it, you would not believe how much work went into it.

Prayers to Broken Stone: The Hobbit, Thorin/Bilbo, BotFA fixit in a way but we take the long way 'round. Dragon Sickness literally turns Thorin into a dragon and he and Bilbo need to survive being locked up alone inside Erebor long enough to find a cure for him, or else. The story is much more psychological than it may sound, it's much more about exploring Thorin's trauma through the lens of him turning into the creature he fears and loathes most in the world. Very proud of this fic since it's the first long fic I ever finished, it's the one that made me actually attend some highly competitive writing workshops since I finally felt like I had become a competent enough writer to be able to actually complete a novel. Also quite proud of the characterization, voices, and mythology created for this one.

Shanghaied: Pacific Rim, Newt/Hermann, post-Uprising again. Post-recovery fic, Newt returns to Shanghai where he was held captive by the Precursors for ten years and slowly spirals mentally when forced to confront the physical location of his torment once more, all while trying to put on a brave face for Hermann that only grows more manic as the night goes on. Still perhaps one of my most emotionally... sincere? works? It's the most based on personal experience during a bad time in my life but translated into a flavor of angst I don't see as much of in fic, it's probably one of my more literary pieces in that respect? Anyway, I'm very proud of the maturity of emotion in this one so I always race to see any comments that get left on it.

5. Come live with me and be my love: The Sandman, Dream/Hob, alternate 1789 hookup. Dream loses a bet to Desire and must live for one year as a normal human, in this specific case, one year as the husband or wife of a human of his choosing, without almost any of his powers, in order to better understand how humans live. Dream chooses Hob as his spouse, naturally, since Hob is the least unbearable of humans and not mortal and therefore not in danger from him. Hob is only too glad to oblige but unfortunately, this means Dream has to pretend to be a woman in order for them to blend in, so shenanigans ensue. While this is still a WIP I do intend to return to it and I am massively proud of it. I think it's one of the works I've done the most worldbuilding for from scratch, in the sense that I had to quickly familiarize myself to a reasonable degree with early 1800s England, a period I'm not actually all that fond of in history (I'm not really an Austen or Bridgerton fan, to say the least). I think it has some of my most ambitious writing in terms of scope and scale and some of the more clever writing in terms of building tension and crafting original characters who lend realism to the setting without overwhelming the central, more important characters of Dream/Hob and their story.

[hermannsthumb]

Please please please more "Fake Dating for Funding"! I haven't read much PR stuff in the last few years and your newest piece jerked me right back to that old standby hyperfixation. It's so cute!!

answering this sooooo late, OOPS SORRY, but here's a little ficlet as i try to get myself back in the writing groove.... the original fake dating for funding fic is right here, but i was thinking over plot concepts earlier and this one made me laugh, LMAO

------------------------------------------------------

"I have a favor to ask of you," Hermann says one morning.

Typical of Hermann, it's blunt and to the point, no show of bartering or sweetening Newt up with dessert or anything like that. In theory Newt should be annoyed, but Hermann indebts himself to Newt so rarely (and never willingly) that Newt’s actually kind of interested to see where this goes. He pushes up his work goggles and strips off his gloves without a second thought.

Hermann is standing directly over Newt’s side of the yellow line, one hand balled into a fist while the other white-knuckles his cane, his shoulders hunched over. He looks extremely uncomfortable. On the other hand Hermann rarely looks comfortable, so this isn’t anything new, or something to draw immediate conclusions from.

“Okay,” Newt says. “Lay it on me.”

“I would not blame you if you found yourself thinking less of me,” Hermann says, “or outright rejecting the proposition. I’m aware it is far more than one typically asks of a…” He swallows. “Colleague.”

The word hangs awkwardly in the air between them. It’s not that it’s an inaccurate descriptor, but it doesn’t completely encompass the, uh, reality of things, being that they were a litttttle more than colleagues up until two months ago. (Not that they called themselves anything other than colleagues for the duration of that whole—indiscretion. It was a little confusing.)

Still, Hermann’s groveling, and Newt’s interested. “Oh, sweet,” he says, maybe a little too casually. Just two bros having a normal conversation about how they're nothing more than colleagues. “I’m totally in. What are we doing? Is it illegal or something?”

He could actually use Hermann’s mad computer hacker skills for something in the near future—Newt wants unrestricted card access to the typically very restricted hazardous materials storage in the jaeger bay for reasons he’s not going to disclose—and doing something illegal for the guy would be a great way to get him to do something illegal for Newt in return. In a favor-for-favor way more than a blackmail way, because Newt mostly isn't a dick. And anyway, maybe doing some platonic fun k-science bonding time will be good for them. Make things a little less tense. Newt’s been working on that really hard lately, mostly because his multiple Shatterdome transfer requests have been outright denied by the Marshal and he seems to be out of alternatives.

“No,” Hermann says.

He looks at his shoes. He’s about two unlucky inches away from stepping on a piece of kaiju spleen Newt dropped earlier and forgot about, and the fact that he’s not taking any precautions to shield his precious ugly wingtips tells Newt he means business. “Perhaps a little…morally questionable.”

“Oooh, Hermann, you’re such a tease,” Newt says. He tosses his nasty gloves in the trash can and scoots Hermann towards the cluster of their desks with a hand to the small of his back, ignoring the way Hermann bristles and digs the end of his cane halfheartedly into the floor. “Come on, come on, I’ll make coffee, stop looking so depressed.”

He does make himself a coffee but brews a quick cup of black tea for Hermann, which turns out to be kind of a waste of his time, since Hermann blatantly ignores the mug Newt slides in front of him. He’s gone from looking like the most emo librarian in the world to looking vaguely nauseous. If circumstances weren’t as they are, Newt might say it was making him look exceptionally alluring—that whole sickly Victorian lad thing really gets him going. “If you’ve forgotten,” Hermann says, “we’ve another of those foolish PPDC fundraisers soon, at the end of the month.”

“Oh.” Newt leans back in his chair, a little disappointed. “Is that it?”

“Yes,” Hermann says. “No.” He shakes his head gravely. He’s so dramatic sometimes, it’s kinda cute. “It is the root of the problem, but not the entirety of it. You’ll recall, I presume, how badly in need of funding we are, myself in particular for the Breach-mapping software I am attempting to develop.”

Newt does recall, because yeah, he is also in need of funding real bad. Can’t make awesome, ground-breaking advancements in the field of kaiju biology without any kaiju bits to study the biology of. That spleen currently threatening to ooze over the yellow tape line represents approximately sixty percent of Newt's remaining currently viable samples. “Uh, yeah?”

“I have,” Hermann makes a face, “a working theory, so to speak. You’ll further recall the similar PPDC event we attended in August of last year?”

“Yeah?”

“And the one we attended this year, in the week following our—”

“Yeah, Hermann, I remember.”

“Right,” Hermann says.

Newt remembers the second one more clearly than he likes, because having to make nice with Hermann to present a united front six days after a very, very stupid argument about Newt maaaaybe stealing half of Hermann’s sandwich—which ultimately led to a mutual and spur of the moment decision to dissolve the whole weird lab partners-with-benefits thing they had going on—was one of the more uncomfortable experiences of his career. Still, he made as nice as he could, because his supply of work gloves and Keurig pods were running dangerously low and he didn’t feel like shelling out the money from his own abysmally small paycheck for any.

He doesn’t know what was so significant about the other one they went to though, the one last August. It was humid. Newt remembers being so hot he had to take off his tie, and he lost it somewhere in the convention center afterwards. He misses that tie. Hermann hated it, which makes him culprit number one in its disappearance.

“We drew in significantly more donations in August than we did two months ago,” Hermann says, and opens the top drawer of his desk to produce a neat stack of papers, which he spreads in front of Newt to reveal a series of color-coded spreadsheets.

Newt’s eyes glaze over a little at the sight. He doesn’t bother extending the effort to confirm Hermann’s data—as much as he hates to admit it, the guy is thorough with his numbers and rarely wrong about stuff like this. He flips through it anyway to appease him. And, honestly, he thinks Hermann’s feelings would be hurt if he didn’t, and Newt really is committed to being a good labmate (y’know, for the very brief time being). “And prior to August,” Hermann continues, “you’ll note that the average sum total of donations we received per event was significantly lower. August was an anomaly.”

“Sure,” Newt says. “So what?”

Hermann slides the spreadsheet back into his desk, pulls his dorky glasses off, and exhales slowly: he’s getting to the point. Newt has a hunch what that point might be, but Hermann always looks funny when he gets into lecture mode, and Newt doesn’t want to interrupt it.

“I believe,” Hermann says, “that our—relationship status, which was significantly different on that occasion as compared to the rest—might possibly have had no small influence, for one reason or another. We certainly behaved more, er, affectionately, or tenderly around each other, and perhaps others took note and found it charming. Or some such thing. Of course I can't draw any conclusions from a single point of data, but I believe if we were to... Well, it's a bit silly, hearing myself now.”

“You want me to be your fake b-f so we can trick people into giving a shit about us and shake them down easier,” Newt says.

The tips of Hermann’s generous ears go red. “I’m aware it’s an unusual request,” he says, “especially considering… recent certain developments in our working relationship.”

It’s not exactly the fun platonic bonding time Newt anticipated, but he has a hunch Hermann might be on to something—the whole doomed romance, give us money so our love has a fighting chance of surviving the apocalypse thing, which they were apparently already inadvertently playing up. He’s willing to give it a shot. Making a joke out of it might actually help Newt let go of his last lingering nostalgia for that super brief period of time he and Hermann got up to after-hours hijinks and were almost amicable with each other. And, you know, on the other hand, if that doesn’t work, he could totally do the opposite of moving on and revel in the opportunity to do couple-y tender things with Hermann again.

“Yeah, sure,” Newt says. Real chill about it. He’s so chill, man.

Hermann blinks at him owlishly, clearly taken aback, but says nothing.

“It’ll be fun,” Newt adds. “It’s a good plan, great idea, it’ll totally work. Nothing has to be weird, right? I mean, it’s not like we were really even dating before or anything. There’s no reason for it to be weird. It’s definitely not for me. Is it for you?”

“No, er, of course not,” Hermann says. “It was my idea, wasn’t it?”

They’re totally over each other, but they can also totally pretend they’re not for a night or two, no sweat. “Cool,” Newt says, and repeats, maybe to convince himself, “It’ll be fun. We can dress up all fancy and wear matching ties or something and talk about how tragic we are. I’ll grab your ass in front of people and you can brag about how cool and smart and sexy I am.”

��You are not doing that,” Hermann says, “and I am not doing that. When have I ever—oh, nevermind. I am not averse to the neckties, however, especially if it means you’re at least attempting to look somewhat professional for our prospective—”

“Dude, come on, you totally just think I look hot in a suit.”

The splotchy red flush spreads from Hermann’s ears to his neck as he scowls at Newt. He doesn’t bother denying it: Newt’s sure they both vividly remember the most recent annual k-science research symposium when Newt finally let himself be talked into renting a fancy blazer, to look, uh, like the expert in your field you are, Newton, and Hermann had such a hard time keeping his hands off Newt in increasingly unchaste ways that they had to duck out early. I like when you look put-together and competent, Hermann said, or something along those lines, there was a lot of kissing going on and Newt wasn’t exactly paying attention to specifics. He ended up losing the deposit on the suit—which is why he stole the sandwich in the first place, actually. Very petty revenge. Full circle.

“Piss off,” Hermann grumbles.

“We’re gonna have to put in for just one hotel room if we wanna sell it, you know,” Newt says, the realization suddenly hitting him. “Maybe even one bed. It’ll look totally suspicious if we don’t, right?”

Hermann meets his eyes for a few awkward, quiet seconds, and then they both quickly look away from each other. Newt stands up and makes a show of gathering their untouched mugs, both of which have gone extremely cold. Hermann slips his glasses back on and opens up his desk drawer to shuffle through his immaculate spreadsheets again, pretending to look for errors that they both know aren't there.

“We’ve,” Hermann finally says, and then clears his throat. “We’ve survived worse. I'm sure we can manage. It’s only for two nights, after all.”

“Yeah, totally,” Newt says.

[theratcircus]

Hi I need so badly for you to say literally anything about EDS herms or dysautonomia newt some more (perhaps more focus/importance from me on herms.) when you have the spoons because you’re the first person I’ve seen to mention his disability possibly being EDS and as someone who has had pacrim as a special interest since 2013, EDS Hermann very quickly became a very personally impactful headcanon when I found out that’s what was going on with me. like it was an even deeper layer of connection if that makes sense. and then dysautonomia newt is also cool because at my current job I am literally going by the name newt and my dysautonomia is a Known Thing because I keep having to either run and lick salt out of my hand in the little hallway corner between the kitchen and tables or beg the expo worker to give me fries with more seasoning salt than any sane person would want lmaooo. Anyways sorry I just saw the post and it was huge for me personally

Yea of course!! I love EDS Herms & dysautonomia Newt dearly. I think Herms had issues with his hypermobility + stomach issues from his EDS from an early age, but his father always pressured him to push through it & tough it out, which caused more problems than not. After so long of having his problems ignored, he started doing his own research on EDS on his own & started to slowly but surely find what worked best for him around high school/college. He successfully got accommodations for online classes for college, but held off on using a cane in public for years out of fear of judgement by his peers, but eventually got more comfortable. His half of the lab probably has neatly organized drawers of heating pads & braces for when he’s working long hours. He also probably has metal ring splints to help stabilize his fingers with how long he’s at the chalkboard every day, which have the unexpected upside of appealing to Newt because the ring splints look cool & accent Herms hands nicely.

As far as Newt goes, he started developing symptoms of dysautonomia in his early teens & was good at first about taking care of himself, but after the Kaiju attacks started ramping up, he ended up with blinders on about just about anything that wasn’t saving the world, so he’d often forget about eating/staying hydrated/sleeping, which obviously wasn’t good for him. The most he’d do to help himself was to toss back a handful of salt or drink caffeine to manually raise his heart rate/pressure if he started feeling heavy.

[crabs-brencil]

ugh the second pacific rim makes me so sad because like. it's this insane amalgamation of what could've been, and im sure other people have said this before but whatever i just rewatched it and im in my feels rn so buckle up ig.

firstly - acghfshg they literally got rid of all of silly little things that made the first pacific rim *pacific rim*, except for the like two occasions when they didn't. like. soundtrack?? where did it go?? there was one (1) scene that had any sort of soundtrack usage the way the first movie did it, and it was a callback scene to the first movie. and the first pacrim was rife with ridiculous action-hero quips (think raleigh's bro saying "let's turn up the heat" in the middle of a fight) which pacrim 2 did try to do but it was so painfully a product of it's time bc dear god does it take itself way too seriously for any of the quips to land. not saying that john boyega didn't have his moments but like. they were the type of moments you'd find in any movie produced in that time.

secondly - charlie day and burn gorman put their whole actussies into that performance -- because goddamnit pacrim 2 was supposed to be an ode to hermann and newt's relationship -- only to get shafted at the last hour. like seriously their arc in pacrim 2 is so fucking heartbreaking, the two of them going from being so in tune with one another as they were at the end of pacrim 1 to drifting so far apart over ten years. and you can tell that they don't really want to believe that they don't really know each other anymore either, because like come *on* the sheer apprehensive hope on hermann's face when he first comes up to newt, and the way his face just *falls* when he asks "you won't help me?", and newt letting himself get dragged away and letting hermann go on even though he's clearly in a rush. and the way the both of them try to ignore how they've both changed over the past decade, because they have changed out of sync, and changed away from each other, and they both remind the other of what it used to be like, but it doesn't feel the same anymore because it isn't the same and just. ugh. that proverb about men and rivers. and like you can tell that what's left of newt is like. punching the prison walls of his brain, because of the sheer regret in his face when he has to hurt hermann, or the way he tries to avoid shit talking hermann when his boss clearly expects it of him. and obviously hermann having to see his friend disappear like that. going from hugging him outside the elevator because it was finally like the good old days again and they were on the same side and they would fight the bad guys and save the world again, to finding out that the person the world needed saving from was newt. and all that just to end the way it did. the both of them are entirely forgotten after hermann checks over the rocket plan and newt gets punched out.

and like obviously they were vying for a third movie because the set up for a newmann flavored reunion was literally right there, but like asfhjdg.

thirdly - mako's death??? that could've really been something, they could've used it to have like an actual lambert/jake moment, where they actually get to reconcile, but it might as well not have happened what with how the movie actually went about it.

bleh. im sure there's more to be said that im just forgetting about but whatever, it's way too late for me to care, and if any of the stuff ive said has been addressed in like interviews or smth, i wouldn't know about it as ive only seen the movies themselves and i don't particularly care to hunt down such footage.

anyways thanks for reading, if you've got this far you're a real one <3

[fujoshiwarrior]

limbus company 1 am (edit: now 2 am) ramblings (massive spoilers abound for canto v)

these are just some quick sleep deprived thoughts, and my analysis could be better, but i feel like talking about it anyway

i saw a post in the main tag talking about why the op really disliked canto v, and i don't wanna get into an argument and i don't want to vague the op in a way that makes it seem like im attacking them because im not, i just wanna talk about why i disagree with them

i don't think canto v was perfect or the best canto but i thought it was absolutely incredible (yes i did cry during the final boss fight), and i agree that starbuck and queequeg deserved way more screentime and development than they got (i also think the adaptation of queequeg from moby dick to limbus was woefully clumsy, which might have have been remedied by more time with her, though i still love limbus!queequeg)

however, i wholeheartedly disagree on ahab as a villain. i thought she was amazing. even if she doesn't really have any shades of gray to her, i think the point is that a lot of horrible, evil, selfish people genuinely believe what they are doing and their behavior is right and justified. furthermore, she was completely and utterly steeped in delusion and obsession to the detriment of herself and every single person remotely in proximity to her.

i need to say first that i've never read moby dick unfortunately, so i can't comment too much on limbus!ahab vs book!ahab. what i do know is that just like in limbus, ahab's obsession leads to the demise of every single crew member with ishmael as the sole survivor. since i haven't read moby dick, i had to consult sparknotes for a profile of book!ahab, and it describes him as much of a victim as he is an aggressor---however, i'll touch on that in a bit.

what i want to bring attention to is that both book and limbus ahab are characterized by sheer hubris, pride, and a god/savior complex. i want to bring attention to another classical literature character who is characterized by hubris and who also spends the entire novel on a ship: victor frankenstein.

this comparison might seem like it's coming from left field, but i promise i have a point. also, while i don't think limbus!ahab was overtly inspired by victor frankenstein, considering how obsessed pm is with literature i think there is a very low chance that kjh or at least one of the writers haven't read frankenstein. see also the parallels between angela and the monster/ayin and frankenstein in lobotomy corporation and library of ruina (especially library of ruina, where there is a direct connection between angela and lucifer related imagery, who the monster is also associated with). frankenstein ends with victor, after telling his, encouraging the sailors not to give up on trying to find a new passage channel in spite of the fact they will probably die doing so---victor has not learned his lesson, and now he's luring a group of sailors to their deaths.

ahab is so full of herself and so egocentric that even when she was facing the death of her very "self" (or...ego) she did not falter in her delusions, not even at the very, very end, and was happy to continue the cycle. the point i'm trying to make here is that a character being unambiguously bad and selfish doesn't necessarily make for a bad or uncomplicated character. i will concede though that op again has a point with the lack of screentime with ahab means that she didn't have the time to prove her complexities.

this brings me to canto v's ending. in the post credits scene, we saw the ahab somehow survived the collapse of the white whale (this is just speculation, but i think it has something to do with her ego awakening---judging off the cg art, i would guess the ego fused with the pallidification from the whale or nullified it entirely...or both maybe). i was initially disappointed by this.

however, we know very little about hermann's crew. as op touched on, and as i have touched on, ahab had little screentime and not a lot of character development. her now being a member of hermann's crew gives ample opportunity for further development of her character---i think we'll see why exactly she became so obsessed with the whale and why she is the way she is (the aspect of ahab as a victim, i imagine there's a deeply personal reason why the decided the whale was the source of all evil)

this leads to me another point op mentioned: ishmael sparing ahab.

op talks about this as a bad thing. i STRONGLY disagree.

the name of the game here is obsession. ishmael's new ego for this season is even named "blind obsession". from the 4.5 event, we saw that this obsession has been tearing her apart. several people theorized after that event, and during this canto, that she was for sure going to distort. the fact that she had a distortion effect behind her battle sprite made lots of people (including me) extremely confident that she would distort and be the boss of this chapter (outis said in part 1 that lcb doesn't need all 12 sinners to operate and you only use half in battle anyway).

if ishmael had killed ahab, she would have given into her obsession and may have *actually* distorted if she did. and she would have proven ahab completely and utterly right.

ishmael stealing away the opportunity to be the one to kill the pallid whale from ahab and leaving her to rot inside the collapsing whale with that knowledge is the best possible punishment ahab could have gotten.

that's why i didn't like the fact that ahab had survived, it felt like it defeated the point of ishmael's development and the canto itself. i changed my mind because the point of ishmael's character development was letting go of her obsession and being free from ahab, and ahab doesn't need to be dead for her to do that. and her involvement with hermann's group means an opportunity for a bigger and better comeuppance since she's probably going to have a new obsession soon enough.

[lu-is-not-ok]

what are your thoughts on the AEDD egos? I can see how the theme of experimentation and exploitation relate to Gregor but i don't really see what Heathcliff has to do with it

Alright, cracks knuckles. Time to figure out what I can come up with here.

Under the cut we go.

Let's start with the Shock Centipede itself. Cruelty and exploitation is absolutely one of its main themes, but I think there is something more we can look into here.

The Centipede's Mirro Dungeon event involves a choice between shocking it or forcing it into water, two different methods of inflicting pain on it for the sake of a nebulous "better result". I'm going to focus on this aspect of this theme of exploitation specifically - putting someone or something in pain for the sake of progress or improvement.

Another potential theme I want to note here is perserverence. As a boss fight, Shock Centipede does not die upon reaching 0 HP, but rather stays on 1 HP for several turns as a "final struggle", as it's put in its Observation Logs.

Likewise, in its Mirror Dungeon event, while it is noted to stop moving upon being shocked, it notably does not drown when its tank is filled with water. It's clearly in pain, writhing and "dancing", but it doesn't succumb.

Let's apply both of those themes - pain for the sake of progress and perserverence - to Gregor and Heathcliff.

The connections here are immediately obvious for Gregor. Hermann put him through horrible trauma and likely invasive procedures for the sake of making him into what she considered a good soldier. I think the fact that Gregor ended up not suffering from as many side effects as the other Old G Corp soldiers adds to this theme. Gregor was treated as an improvement on the formula, in exchange of him having to go through a war and serve a role in it that he didn't ask for.

However, just like the Centipede, Gregor persevered through it. He survived the war, and he continued to try and live a somewhat normal life. Even as he trauma got in the way, he kept on living. Survival is a Sin, he'd tell Yuri, but who cares? Even if it is a Sin, you should keep on living anyway.

While we don't have enough information on Heathcliff to be able to make as clear of a connection as we did with Gregor... I think we can reverse-engineer here a little bit and speculate on what AEDD means for Heathcliff's potential backstory.

For one, we know two things for sure about Heathcliff's background - he's from the Backstreets, and he was part of a Syndicate at one point in his life.

I think in this case the theme of Pain for the sake of improvement still applies, but in a noticeably different way to Gregor's. Say, have you ever heard of the saying "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?", the idea that the pain you're going through will leave you a better person for it?

In my opinion, that's exactly what Heathcliff's AEDD signifies. The idea that the pain and cruelty he might have gone through in the past is what made him stronger. What is impossible for me to tell at this stage is who would hold that opinion. Is it the opinion of someone Heathcliff knew and who had put him through a significant amount of pain, or is it his own opinion that he developed as a way to cope with his trauma? There simply isn't enough information to know for sure just yet.

Applying the theme of perserverence is a lot simpler here. It's clear that Heathcliff's life was rough, likely full of abuse and heartbreak. And yet, even having gone through all of that, he keeps going. He keeps living on with his chin held high and doesn't let anyone get in his way.

I'd also like to look at their dialogue lines real quick, as I think there's something interesting to be read from them.

When it comes to their Awakening lines, I think they're meant to signify the kind of torment they've been put through in their lives.

Gregor was forced through horrible trauma because Hermann wanted him to endure it, to become a better soldier for it. It was calculated, "just enough to kill", or in this case, just enough to leave lasting damage, but no more or less.

For Heathcliff, it was pain that aimed straight for his heart. While it's in Heathcliff's character to be excited about violence, I think in this case the tone of his line could signify that the person who hurt him saw him as just something to play with. Either that, or that's how Heathcliff views them in retrospect.

Likewise, I think their Corroded lines have both of them almost fully take the role of their own abusers, something that is already hinted at by the E.G.O taking on the form of a labcoat-like suit, the uniform of the people that likely tortured the Centipede itself.

When Corroded, Gregor takes on the role of someone like Hermann, a mad scientist who hurts other people because they are the test subjects. They aren't "people" to her. An idea that gets further carried over by the ID on the AEDD's outfit being crossed out in its Corroded version.

If it wasn't already obvious that Heathcliff considers Cathy as his abuser from his Awakening line, I think his Corroded line cements this. While I haven't read Wuthering Heights, I do know one thing about it - and it's that Cathy and Heathcliff were both toxic to each other. I think that's what Heathcliff's Corroded line ties back to, how Cathy was horrible to Heathcliff partially because he was also horrible to her.

Alright, that was a lot. Thankfully, I think the Sin analysis here is actually quite straightforward!

AEDD is a Gloom damage E.G.O. Gloom as a Sin represents actions done under the pressure of negative emotions. It implies severe emotional stress which. Yeah. Yeah I would fucking think an E.G.O representing the effects of the abuse its users perservered through would be Gloom.

There's also another angle to look at here, and that is the fact that AEDD has its users act in the shoes of their abusers, as implied by the dialogue lines. Whether it's biting back at their own abusers with the exact same tactics they were hurt with, or whether this ties into an idea of a cycle of abuse, I'm not entirely sure. The one thing I am sure of is that it would still count as something motivated by emotional stress, thus Gloom.

When it comes to Sin requirements, they're the same for both Gregor and Heathcliff, that being Gloom and Envy.

Gloom, of course, makes sense, as it's the severe emotional stress that distates one's actions when forced into a situation that AEDD represents.

Envy, on the other hand, represents actions done as a reaction to other people's actions. Which. Yeah. Yeah that is exactly what's happening here. It's Gregor and Heathcliff reacting to and lashing out at the abuse they suffered at the hands of other people.

I never know how to properly end these E.G.O analysis posts but uh. Yeah. There you go. That's what I got on the funny electric bug that symbolizes abuse E.G.O.

[newtlesbian]

i think maybe uprising would be better as an original kaiju movie tbh. its not really pacific rim though i think that was inherently unavoidable without guillermo del toro. those kaiju and jaegers and some parts are so solid but ah the rest idk theres a lot that i wish was different and i wish got explored more

but i dont blame steven for it he seems alright i blame legendary bc he was always talking abt how he wasnt given much control as a new guy on a big name project. and all the godawful jokes stuck into the movie that hes said so many times he hated i also hated so it must be frustrating 2 be blamed for that id go insane

i really love how strongly he believes in newt and hermann romance though i respect that. like calling it a love story always & even on the dvd & all that postmovie spoiler tweets era….. i thought that was really cool and maybe added fuel to charlies “he misses the man hes in love with” interviews so anyway i wanna go easy on the guy

but some parts of the movie were. well yknow. plus wasnt what i really want from something called pacific rim or the old characters but ah. ive been able to have fun with it but oh what if it was perfect and well liked enough to get a satisfying third movie

[askcharaandfriends]

Hiya, I doubt these asks will be answered but here you go anyway.

1. This is a swap version of AFAC correct? If thats so, does that mean other characters(Besides Hermann) are swap like Adrian and Jason for example.

2. Will there be any crossovers with other aus or with the the original afac universes?

3. Does ACAF chara hate humanity?

Howdy. Me answering questions is more likely than you would think!

I also have an faq link at the top of my page! I'll give you another one here.

1. Yes. Probably. But it also depends.

2. I have 2 crossovers planned 1 with the og AFAC and one with @askthedreemurr-fontfamily

Hopefully it pans out because comics are hard! And crossovers are harder! but that is something I've talked about with the other creators.

3. This Chara wasn't kidnapped by pirates or killed by an angry mob. That said, they like monsters better.

[flystill]

hi can i ask which newmann fics you wld recommend 👉👈 (saw your tags on that one post abt quality fandom fics)

my dude, my new bestest bestie, every day i wake up and DREAM someone will ask me this question. I will say, I have two central favorites, and there are some other greats you can find via the usual methods on AO3 [eg. Anthology is objectively very good although it's not my personal favorite favorite]) They are both extensive reads, so if you haven't read them, they should keep you busy for a while. If you have read them, then sorry this post will definitely come off like a bad infomercial and you can dm me to discuss further or something.

Anyway, both of these are continuations of Newt and Hermann's stories post-Pacific-Rim-2013, bc I started reading this stuff a decade ago (and tbh I just ignore uprising's existence in my personal canon but absolutely zero shade to those who love it [so valid!]). Anyway, here we go with the infomercial:

The pièce de résistance, my raison d'être: Designations Congruent with Things (downloadable here as pdfs, or i can send you like an ancient AO3 pdf, there are other options if you ask the right people) There is A LOT going on here. This fic has a prequel and a sequel, they're all part of a whole multiverse that is the the inimitable writing of cleanwhiteroom. There's fanart, there's a real band that's created the music of a fictional band, there's UC Berkeley, there's mind reading, there's love, there's loss, there's use and well-informed misuse of the works of René Descartes and quantum mechanics. This is the fic of all fics in my eyes. No way I can capture it in my paltry words, go read it, Out of Many Scattered Things, and Aftermath if you have any interest in newmann or honestly well-written science fiction in general.

Occam's Razor by BlairRabbit. I love this fic. SUCH a soft spot for the original characters in it. Every time I think of a nuclear cooling pool or a church altar, I think of this fic (for better or for worse). Where all the action of DCWT is sans-Jaegers and predominantly outside the PPDC, this one takes place right in the totally awesome fast-paced world built by GdT. Admittedly, I don't reread this one as often as DCWT, but it's got this vibrant and warm-hearted quality that's hard to forget. (AO3 link here)

So, let me know if this helps! I tried to be informative of the 'vibes' without telling too much of the plots. I'm sorry, I tend to filter AO3 with a >~80k word minimum and I love physics (this probably shows in both these recs), so if those are not your cup of tea, i apologize for unhelpfulness. Genuinely, DCWT left an indelible impact on my psyche, so if I can help even one other person find that kind of connection to a story (any story), it would feel a job well done.

Happy reading!

[47-61]

The Pete McVries Reading List

so McVries is a big reader. I collected some books by the authors he mentioned into a reading list. They are chronological by publication date and go up to 1979. If I missed any authors he mentioned in other parts of the book, let me know & I will update.

The Catcher in the Rye (1951) - J.D. Salinger Nine Stories (1953) - J.D. Salinger A Separate Peace (1959) - John Knowles Franny and Zooey (1961) - J.D. Salinger There Must Be a Pony! (1961) - James Kirkwood Morning in Antibes (1962)- John Knowles Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction (1963) - J.D. Salinger U.T.B.U. (Unhealthy To Be Unpleasant), (Play, 1965)- James Kirkwood Indian Summer (1966) - John Knowles Phineas; Six Stories (1968) - John Knowles Good Times/Bad Times (1968) - James Kirkwood The Paragon (1971) - John Knowles P.S. Your Cat Is Dead (1972) - James Kirkwood Spreading Fires (1974) - John Knowles Some Kind of Hero (1975) - James Kirkwood A Chorus Line (co-authored with Nicholas Dante), (Play/Musical, 1975) - James Kirkwood Hard Feelings (1977) - Don Bredes A Vein Of Riches (1978) - John Knowles

Poetry of John Keats Poetry of Algernon Charles Swinburne

and because I am a huge nerd I put a list of books that I would recommend to McVries under the cut

My recommendations to McVries: Demian - Hermann Hesse Beneath The Wheel - Hermann Hesse This Side of Paradise - F. Scott Fitzgerald Breakfast of Champions - Kurt Vonnegut. Actually not entirely sure he'd like Vonnegut but I'd recommend it based on his worldview. The Stranger - Albert Camus Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë. Actually sure throw in Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë too Pete seems like someone who wuthers Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - James Joyce The Poems of Sylvia Plath The Poems of T.S. Eliot The Long Walk - Richard Bachman. I think he'd love that one

also I know it's ridiculous to put in A Chorus Line but it's simple logic. McVries likes James Kirkwood -> James Kirkwood co-wrote the book for A Chorus Line -> McVries likes A Chorus Line. this is the hill I have chosen to die on. It's canon. You will have to pry this from me after i'm rotting in my grave if you want me to relinquish this. Does McVries like musical theatre? I don't know. Who cares. Does he like A Chorus Line? Yes. Is this incredibly important to me because it's in my top 5 musicals? Yes. Okay thanks. anyway McVries and I would have been friends in high school

[annamaetion]

People have normal cramps they call Charlie horses.

Hermann’s cramps were the whole bloody stable.

He was fortunate (ha) in that they were actually fairly rare, typically they didn’t happen unless he was fairly dehydrated and had a long exhausting day without proper breaks.

All that and stress were hallmarks of the day they closed the breach…it probably didn’t help he’d also just Drifted on a slapdash system with a Kaiju and Dr. Geisz— Newton, his brain corrected.

And really if a cramp this bad had to happen, at least it had seemingly waited for him and Newton to retire to their shared sleeping quarters— rather than striking him down at the Breach Closing party.

Thanks to the ghost drift between the K-scientists they both felt the on-coming cramp in Hermann’s leg, less so with Newton who only felt a shadow of the pain.

Newton scrambled to get Hermann water, his prescription pain meds, and muscle relaxer. Once acquired, he gave the items to Hermann while he went to work massaging Hermann’s leg.

Hermann gratefully took his medicines with generous gulps of the glass of room temperature tap water.

The first few times Hermann had required help like this had been awkward, but ten years had eventually whittled down Hermann’s reluctance to ask for help.

He suspected now with a ghost drift between the two of them, that Newton would be even quicker to spring to help now that he could feel the pain’s onset at the same time Hermann could.

As it was, it seemed that Newton had acted so quickly as to quell this particular cramp before it could flair to its full strength.

They didn’t say anything, they had said far too much to the other in the past ten years— they had fought so much, and what for? Misunderstanding upon misunderstanding. A cavalcade of errors, compounded drastically by stress of slashed budgets, and cramped quarters.

Funny how they could express themselves in letters, and now in a ghost drift/hive mind meld, but for some reason had such trouble simply just talking.

Hermann supposed it suited them both in an odd way, they were both brash stubborn geniuses when you boiled them down to their essentials— of course they couldn’t have a conventional conversation.

Newton smiled wryly up at him from where he sat on the bed, still administering a calming touch to Hermann’s leg.

Who needed words anyway? Too imprecise, and obviously prone to failure, as their decades long tensions could attest to.

Empirical numbers and data were clearly superior.

We could have totally avoided so much wasted time if we’d just Drifted upon first meeting.

If only I’d known, I’d have developed the Drifting system all the sooner.

But that would have been before the Kaiju even showed up, no Jaeger program, and you’d not need to invent something to share the neural load of piloting giant fighting mechs.

True, but I definitely think that this definitely points to more uses of Drift technology outside of the Jaeger program.

I can totally see it now, ‘Drift matchmaking services’ the ultimate dating service.

That’s if they ever declassify it, which is a huge if…

Yeah… fun to think about though.

Hermann smiled, glad that they could now think of a future that didn’t involve Kaiju destruction now that they had succeeded in collapsing the breach.

And that future was brilliant.

FIN

[kaijuposting]

15:27 Hours, at the K-Sci Lab

Doctor Newton Geiszler perches like a hawk on an empty examination table, bloodshot eyes staring through smudged glasses.

His colleague, Doctor Hermann Gottlieb, looks at him from behind a computer desk, nibbling his index fingernail with a frown.

Newt suddenly inhales, then lets out a bloodcurdling screech that resonates off the metal walls and echoes through the room.

Hermann startles in his seat and slams his hands on the desk in shock. He takes a long, slow breath. "Newton, what in God's name are you trying to do?"

Newt takes a deep breath and shifts. "I'm trying to get inside the headspace of a kaiju, man. Trying to figure 'em out, you know? If I can just... think like the kaiju, become the kaiju, maybe we can figure out how to defeat the kaiju?"

Hermann's frown deepens and he exhales every ounce of air in his lungs before leaning back in his chair. "That's not even remotely scientific," he spits.

Newt bares his teeth and lets out a startlingly low growl. "I don't know if you've noticed, Hermann, but I haven't had a good kaiju specimen in three weeks! Three weeks, Hermann! All I've had to work with are these half-rotted chunks of lower gut!" Newt takes another deep breath, and screeches again.

Hermann stares at him balefully. "Be that as it may, your juvenile behavior doesn't constitute any sort of science, and my ears and my head are worse off now."

Newt freezes and shifts slightly. "Yeah, well..." he begins, but there's no anger in his voice. Just exhaustion tinged with sadness. He sighs and grips the edge of the table.

"Imagine getting inside the mind of a kaiju, anyway. Why would you want to? All mindless killer instinct, that's all it is." Hermann's voice shakes faintly. For a moment his eyes meet Newt's, and they both realize that they're both scared and tired.

"No," Newt says. "That's not... that's not a real thing. Animals aren't just programmed to kill for the hell of it, there's gotta be something driving them, some instinct we don't understand."

"I don't want to understand," Hermann says flatly.

"Yeah, well, doing shit we don't wanna do is just the job here," Newt says.

"But imagine getting into the mind of a kaiju," Hermann says. "It can be bad enough getting inside another human's mind; have you heard what sorts of thoughts people have encountered in the drift?"

Newt's eyes widen. "The drift, that's it!"

Hermann's eyes widen with alarm. "What?" he asks.

"That's it, dude. I'm gonna... gonna drift with a kaiju. Dunno how, dunno when, but I'm gonna fucking do it. I just need a piece of brain. Oh, yes!" Newton hops up from the table.

Hermann grits his teeth and grabs an HR complaint form from the stack sitting on his desk, to write about Newt's screeching. He knows it will do nothing, but he's got to complain to someone, and he doesn't have anyone else. "You can't do it, Newton," he says as he grabs a pencil.

"Yeah I can," Newt says. "I can do it, and you can't stop me."

"Can't."

"Can! Can! Can!"

"Have you considered," Hermann said, "that you are extremely sleep-deprived and therefore not at all in a rational state of mind?"

"Ummm... sleep deprived, yeah. Irrational, no," Newt said. "I do my best work when I'm sleep deprived, trust me."

"Please, Newton. Get some sleep," Hermann says, his voice suddenly soft. He sets the pencil down. "We'll talk this over in the morning."

Newt blinks tiredly. "Yeah," he says. "Not gonna change my mind, but... you're right. I need sleep."

Hermann sets the form back on the pile, and he stands up and grabs his cane. "We both do," he says. "We both do."