#anything ive said? or maybe it could be how you run off and leave me and stare at me like im a fucking freak when i try to go up to you?

[t4tdanvis]

i fucking hate allos holy SHIT

[themultifandomgal]

Hey I got a request for peaky blinders

So basically tommy is a single dad to a girl she is 2 years old and you got you was I’ll and tommy was in a meeting and you was bored she u walk. In and tommy yelled at you So you run off and started crying you find John and Arthur and told they what happened how u was I’ll and they find tommy to tell him he was a dick about yelling at you then he told u he was sorry

Hope that make sense x

Tommy Shelby- Just Want To Protect You

I hope this is what you wanted.

YN and Tommy haven’t been dating all that long, she knew he was a single dad and his daughter, Mary, came first no matter what. YN also knew that he was a dangerous man, but she didn’t care. To her Tommy was a caring man who loved his family (even if he didn’t show it), all he wanted to do was keep YN and his daughter safe.

Unfortunately Mary had been ill with a cold the last week so while Tommy was in meetings YN would take on the roll of looking after her, however today YN woke up feeling rough. She has a headache, stuffy nose and scratchy throat, but still being a mother figure to the young girl YN takes on the task of looking after her and and house while Tommy is in his office working.

“I want daddy”

“I know” YN replies bouncing the crying girl in her arms “but daddy is busy. Why don’t you take a nap. You might feel better and when you wake up, daddy might be finished”

“Ok” Mary sniffles snuggling into YN’s neck. YN takes Mary to her bedroom and puts her down. She stays with Mary until she’s asleep. Feeling rough herself she decides to go and have a nap herself, however due to her blocked nose and now cough, YN gives up after half an hour.

Making her way down stairs she decides to make herself and Tommy a cup of tea. Feeling bored YN knocks on Tommys office door before walking in

“Hi love, I made you a drink” YN says walking in placing the tea on his desk, Tommy just grunts in response “Mary is asleep, still has this awful cold. I said maybe once she wakes up you’d be finished with work”

“And why would you tell her that?” Tommy looks up to YN

“I just thought that you could have a break, you can sit in your chair and work all the time. Mary misses you”

“I can’t just stop working because Mary wants me to”

“I’m not saying that. You’ve been in here since 6 this morning. It’s now 1 and you’ve not had a break or anything to eat”

“I can’t”

“Fine. Guess I’ll be looking after your sick child all day again”

“I didn’t ask you to”

“Then who will? Your to busy with you fucking businesses to even notice that she’s been crying for you this morning”

“Don’t you swear at me!” Tommy yells standing up “Mary isn’t even your daughter so if she’s so much of a bother why don’t you just go!” Feeling taken back YN takes in what Tommy just said

“Fine” YN replies keeping her tears back.

Asking one of the maids to keep an eye on Mary, YN leaves the house and makes her way to the Garrison where she sees Arthur and John

“YN” John waves his brothers girlfriend over

“Hi” she sadly says

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s our brother done this time?” Arthur sighs

“It’s just that, I don’t feel well but ive been taking care of his daughter who’s also ill. When I told him to have a break from work he just blew up”

“Our brother is an idiot YN, I’ll speak with him” John replies

“No don’t. He will know I’ve spoken to you and he will probably have a fit. I’m gonna get a drink”

That evening YN sits her home with a book in her hands, when there is a knock at her door. Putting her book down she heads over feeling confused to who could be at her front door. Opening it up there is Tommy holding flowers in his hands

“I’m a dick I know. I’m sorry”

“You better come in” YN opens up her door wider so Tommy could enter “where’s Mary?”

“At home. Ada has her. I know I shouldn’t have shouted at you, your ill and been looking after my daughter. You didn’t have to but you did. I just get so scared when it comes to you and Mary. I just want to keep you safe and we have a problem with the business. I didn’t want you involved, I didn’t want to worry you”

“Tom, I’m your girlfriend. If we want this to work you can’t shut me out”

“I know I know. Arthur and John knocked some sense into me. Let me make it up to you. Let me cook supper for you. Treat you like a queen”

“I’d like that” YN smiles.

[erwinsvow]

ive been rereading ur bitchy reader stuffs n pleek do more of the pope cameo.. HER SAYING DICK APPT WHEN RAFE COMPLAINED ABT HER HAVING POPES NUMBER MADE ME GIGGLE OUT LOUD pretty please give us more of them 🤲

i imagine her being pissed off at rafe so she keeps giving him the cold shoulder and when he asks something she’d just go “maybe i should’ve gone to heywards instead he wont treat me like this 🙄” BUT ITS SO FUNNY KNOWING SHE DOESNT LIKE POGUES !!!!

LMFAOOO THIS IS KILLING ME!! one thing about my readers, their secret pogue crush is always gonna be pope <3

one thing you had in common with rafe—despite the glaring differences that were so hard to ignore—was that you both didn't care much for pogues.

that was putting it lightly, rafe despised them and you just didn't like them. but some were more tolerable than others—for example, the maybank boy who seemed to you the equivalent of a toddler with sticky hands versus pope heyward, who used to tutor in math. you don't know why or how they're friends, just that you like pope enough to be friendly, or rather polite, and you definitely don't like maybank enough to even think about him.

rafe didn't like any of them, and you didn't really care. you weren't in the habit of defending pogues, and certainly not when you were constantly trying to remind sarah to stay away from them, even though she never listened.

but seeing how angry rafe seemed to get at the mere mention was enough to give you some ideas. when you had jokingly—although now you remember you hadn't really ever clarified—said that you had pope's number because of dick appointments, rafe had gotten so angry it had resulted in the best sex of your life.

you were curious to know what else you could get out of it. unfortunately, your curiosity didn't last for very long. rafe pissed you off just as much as you pissed him off, and though these thoughts were often in one ear and out the other for you.

like today. you had been waiting for twenty whole minutes at the club for rafe, who had insisted he would be on time even though you knew he would probably run late since he was coming from barry's—all the way across town.

all he had to do was admit it, and you would have come later, but instead he had told you to show up at noon and that he wasn't going to be late.

normally you would show up at half past and just tell him to fuck off, but if he really was on time you would never hear the end of it. so you showed up on time and waited... and waited.

rafe finally shows up about forty minutes later, and you stare at him with your signature look—eyes rolling back, an i-told-you-so expression with arms crossed. you could make it more withering if you wanted, but right now you just wanted to hear rafe admit he was wrong.

"shut the fuck up," he says, taking a seat the table. your half drunken diet coke has left a ring of condensation, and you move the cup towards you, wondering how you'd become the kind of girl that waits forty minutes for a guy to show up.

"first of all, i didn't even say anything. second of all, you shut the fuck up. i'm the one who was forty-fucking-minutes late."

"it took longer-"

"longer than you thought? yeah, i said that. yesteday."

"well m'here now, so just order."

you huff, scanning the menu and not sure exactly what retort to use. instead you settle for shutting up entirely, not speaking to rafe the entire time. the waitress comes and goes, the food comes and goes, and you look up when rafe speaks but don't say anything back.

rafe thinks you'll give it up once lunch is over, but you grew up in a household where an hour of silent treatment is child's play. so the car ride to tannyhill, throughout the movie you put on and when you walk away to make popcorn, you haven't said a word.

while the movie credits roll, you look down at your phone, waiting for your apology and deciding when to leave if you don't get it.

"are you seriously gonna ignore me the entire day?"

you stare at rafe, not answering. this is your withering look.

"fine, princess. your choice," rafe shrugs. "finally got you to shut up for once."

you take a moment for his words to really hit you. like any other girl in the world, that comment from your boyfriend hurts a little. it even stings. you don't like the words in the air and you can even tell it left a bitter taste in rafe's mouth. he looks like he's just realizing he overstepped a little. then, for the first time since you saw rafe that day, you speak.

"you know, it's a good thing i didn't delete heyward's number from my phone. times like this i realize how handy it can be."

"what the fuck is th-"

"i mean, really, rafe. even these pogues you hate so much would treat me better than you do. i should go call him up now-"

"okay, princess i get it-"

"bet he'd probably fuck me better than-"

"okay, enough. jesus, i get it. m'sorry, okay? can you knock it off now?"

"i'm not knocking anything off. and you can go fuck yourself if you can't apologize for a little thing like being late-"

"i'm sorry, okay? now can you stop talking about pope fuckin' heyward?" you huff, finally a little pleased he apologized.

"thank you. was that so hard?"

"oh shut up-"

"you shut up. and don't be late again. or i'll show you fuckin' heyward-"

"enough!"

[serejae]

I CARRY IT WITH ME EVERYDAY | BND

pairing : bnd x reader

genre : fluff

WHAT ! - bnd and the orange peel theory based on this anon (warnings kissing, petnames and cursing (maybe idk) this was suppose to be short but leehan had to ruin it...(JK)

wc : 1276 | @onedoornet @miidorei

SUNGHO :

-pls are you kidding me?

-him and taesan are the kings of acts of service, but i feel like he'll have a different approach

-you guys know (or have) those dads who hear one single thing about you liking something then buy like 27 of them?

-thats sungho, any fixation you have trust, he's the backbone of it providing for it

"ugh recently the stores have such good oranges" you said as you ate the peeled orange sungho had peeled for you. the second you grabbed the orange he took it from you and started peeling it despite your whines of how you could peel it yourself. either way, you appreciated the action and thanked him. "what store did you go to?" he asked while on his phone "the one near our house" you peacefully said while munching on the orange you heard him hum. the next day you woke up the kitchen filled with bags of oranges as well as a sungho standing there peeling each one. running up to him you questioned why your guy's kitchen was radiating the color orange, he shrugged grinning a bit, and continued peeling. you grabbed one to try and help to which he grabbed it out of your hand. "i don't want your pretty hands getting orangey" he smiled kissing your forehead (have yall seen that man peel a apple…?)

RIWOO :

-it comes to him naturally

-the first time he saw you with anything you had to peel, shrimp, crab, mangoes, he swore to himself you would never have to get your hands dirty again.

-he tries to make it fun for you both, as he listens to you talk he focuses on making the peel of the orange pretty

-so then he has a gift to give to you

you held the orange in your hand as you spoke moving it around. his eyes were focused on the orange as he was listening to you, so he grabbed the orange while still listening to you talk. as you continued speaking he started peeling the orange being delicate with the skin as he slowly peeled some edges. he nodded, hummed, and let out little "yeah's" as he listened to you tell the story that he's probably heard 200 times but he doesn't care. you're telling it to HIM. suddenly he hands you the peeled orange and holds up the peel which was in one piece. now this was his favorite part of peeling any orange for you, you have to guess what the peel was. "bird?" "nope" "flower?" "i already did that" "bird?" "bird" "that's a horrible bird riwoo" "HUH?"

JAEHYUN :

-ugh sighed just thinking about it (nicely)

-he's 163 steps ahead of you

-dont even bother asking for him to peel a orange cause this loser is peeling everything for you the second you ask for a orange

-he comes back with a peeled, diced, cut fruit platter, where'd he get the fruits from in such a short time? idk..

"you know what ive been craving recently baby?" you spoke up as he lay on ur shoulder scrolling on his phone. humming in response he looked up at you "some oranges for the hot summers seem so refreshing don't you-" he cut you off by leaving the room leaving you there '??? rude?'. he comes back in 7 minutes and 29 seconds with a colorful plate. full of red, orange, yellow, green, blue(?), pink, and purple fruits. he smiled as he showed you like a kid showing their parent their artwork, he noticed your silent shock and went "ta-da!" you tried to remember where you guys had this fruit lying around to realize you didn't..." thank you so much jae, where'd you get this fruit from? so quickly too?" he just smiled cheekily "i have my ways" he sat by you and fed you the fruits piece by piece with no complaints.

TAESAN :

-act of service man p2

-if he even heard a LICK of you craving, liking, or wanting something trust, you will have it 12 hours later on the clock.

-it doesn't matter how he heard it, he just did now he needs to deliver for the love of his life

-this man would fight SEAS OF PEOPLE just to get you what you want and act like it wasn't that big of a deal

as taesan made his way to your shared room to ask you a question he heard your conversation with your friend. he didn't mean to eavesdrop but he heard you say "you know what I've been craving recently?" and he had to listen. he was legally obligated to. taesan heard you talk about those juicy oranges, the ehime jelly oranges, were the oranges at where he was? no. was he going to get those oranges? yeah. don't ask, but he managed to get the oranges, did it cost him an arm and a leg to get it in 12 hours? duh, but it was worth it. he was sitting on the couch on his phone waiting for you to wake up to see the oranges sitting on the dining table, when you did you walked out to see a box on the table. "whose this for min?" you asked opening the box realizing its oranges. "you" he said smiling at your reaction when you realize. "are these...?" he nods and gets off the couch to cut the oranges and scoop the inside out to feed to you (i don't think you can peel these kinds of oranges sorry!!)

LEEHAN :

-mister listener overhere...

-once he realizes youve been craving oranges he tries to ask you questions but not too many to get you the perfect orange

-he doesnt wanna ruin the surprise but he has to make sure it fits your standard

-once he got all the information he needs, he's on a mission and will. he will be nonchalant about it when he picks the perfect orange.

"why have you been watching videos of oranges on repeat..." leehan asked behind you as you rested your head on his chest "they just look...so good." you sighed feeling your mouth water at the video of the perfect orange. "its so perfect, the color to the size, i mean can anything be more perfect?" you asked sitting up turning over to leehan, he nodded "I'm looking at something more perfect than a stupid orange right now" he smiled. you laughed at his line "thank you but these oranges aren't stupid" he nodded "how do you pick a perfect one?" he put his phone down and listened intensively. the next day he was the first one at the grocery store just in case some sucker had the same plan as him, to get the perfect orange for their perfect lover. well too bad for them because leehan was there first. anyways, leehan stood there for a while keeping your advice in his head, 'it must be soft, but not too soft that makes it bad. it has to be firm, but not too firm or else the flavor is gone. it has to be big, for the value but cant be too big because that takes all the flavor. it has to be small, but not too small that's too sweet.' your voice kept repeating in this head until- ah ha! the perfect one. now he needs to find 6 more. as he got home with his 7 (hopefully) perfect oranges he starts peeling. you woke up to see leehan walk into your room with a plate of peeled oranges. "woah.." you muttered, they were so vibrant. you tried one and hummed in satisfaction. "howd you pick one so perfect?" you asked him, and he grinned "idunno"

[h3arts4harry]

- privilege -

- one - two -

based on 'privilege' by the weeknd

warnings: UNRESOLVED ANGST, drugs, death, arguing, toxic friends

chris sturniolo x reader

-

"y/n i cant do this anymore, ive tried i really have but you-" chris backs away from me, struggling to find the words. "chris please, ill get better i-ill cut them all off, i please chris ill do anything" i step forward, tears stream down my face, he backs away again, "chris p-lease" my voice breaks, he shakes his head with swallowing shaking away the tears so desperate to fall "im sorry y/n, i really hate to do this but we're done." i drop to my knees sobbing, my head falling into my hands, chris has to fight himself to not comfort me so he turns to walk out the front door, "fine! LEAVE! ENJOY YOUR PRIVILEGED LIFE! SEE IF I CARE!" i yell, we both know i dont mean it.

chris checks his phone to see if y/n has messaged him but hes heard nothing since that night, not that he wants to hear that shes suffering, hes suffering too. he loved her more than anything in the world but he couldn't stand to see her destroy herself anymore, he tried helping her but she would just brush it off or argue with him.

the breakup hit me hard. i didn't fully realise it yet but it did. i got closer with my new, so called, 'friends' we would do any drugs we could get ahold f and drink til we physically couldnt take it in anymore almost everyday. i called up our dealer james, "sup y/n how you doing?" "i urm, good, i was just calling to see if you had anything on you?" "yea i just picked up some new shit, can see you in like an hour maybe?" "yea sounds good thanks" "aight ill hit you up when im there" "mhm bye" and with that i hang up placing my phone on my nightstand, laying on my back staring at the ceiling, waiting for the time to go past.

"thanks james" i say taking the bag from him "yea no problem, i'erd about your fella, these should be able to help take the blues away" he smirks leaning against my door frame, i nod examining the familiar bag. "imma head out, be safe now. or dont. up to you" he shrugs walking over to his car. i shut the door and head to the kitchen, laying the red pills on the counter before looking for something to crush them with. i pick up my credit card and cut it into lines, rolling up a dollar, then slowly snorting the powder hoping itll make me feel as good as it used to. its never as good as the last.

"just get in the car. you love parties itll be fun trust me" kayla says from the passenger seat, "ugh fine let me just get changed, ill be five minutes" i cave in, turning back into to house, i walk into my bedroom picking up a small black dress off my desk chair swiftly pulling it on, its looser than it used to be but i dont have time to look for another. i slip on black heels to match, running out the car where kayla, james, Allison, and tyler are waiting for me. "finally lets go" Allison says from next to me.

the next goes fast, i dont remember how many drinks ive had. i pull out my phone and dial chris's number while stumbling out into the backyard. "hello?" "c-chris?" "what do you want y/n?" "i-i miss you…chris?" "hm?" "do you miss me too?" "y/n.." "please chris i- i just need- i need to know" my voice breaks, i didnt realise im full blown sobbing into the phone until now"i cant do this. not to me. not to you. y/n please go get help"' "i cant chris! they dont care about me! they dont care about me or anyone but themselves! all i am to them is someone to drink with, smoke with, snort fuck knows what with! i-i cant do it anymore its to much.. they said our love was just a game but- but i dont care, i cant do this without you chris" i can hear his shaky breaths down the phone "y/n.. i tried to help you, for months i tried but you always went back. it hurts to much, i- i need to go" "chris wait please- just let me see you" "no y/n. i dont wanna hear about you suffering anymore. i- i cant." "NO NO PLEASE CHRIS NO WAI-" the small beeps were deafening.

"i know i said i didn't want to hear about you suffering but now if i could go back, i would've said that i couldn't hear you suffer anymore, it was so hard to see you destroy yourself, i thought that if i left you would've got help but i realise now that i shouldve helped you, i should've tried harder, should've forced you-" "but instead im stood here, talking to a headstone- shit." tears fall down his face as he sat kneeling at your grave.

you overdosed that night. you had been found laying there on the cold wet grass of a strangers house, drowning in your tears. because of him.

as much as his brothers constantly reassured him that it wasn't his fault it wasn't enough. chris couldn't feel anything but guilty, as if he had taken her life with his own hands. in his eyes he kind of did, it haunted him that he could've changed the outcome.

-

my first request! thank you for sending it in🫶🫶

ive never actually listened to this song before but i had it on repeat while righting this so i hope it meets your expectations lol

as always feedback is appreciated <333

THANK YOU FOR READING

LOVE YOU POOKIES

taglist:

@m0r94n @sturnzsblog @junnniiieee07 @chrisgetsmewetterxo @raysmayhem-72 @sturniolo-slvt @mattspolitank @cerismo

[y-umiko]

TOKYOREV BOYS WHEN THEY WANT TO BREAK-UP TO PROTECT YOU

CHARACTER(S): Kazutora . Hanma . Baji WARNING/S: angst? A/N: Please don't be surprised if the writing seems different as it goes on, I wrote each one when i'm in different moods.

Kazutora

Kazutora watches with gritted teeth as the nurse patches you up after being rushed to the hospital. It was nothing serious just some cuts and bruises, but Kazutora can't be relieved, imagining the worse that could happen if didn't arrive in time.

He thought long and hard about it, being with him had made you a target for others. and if separating from you means your safety then he was willing to do it.

but you were having none of it, all it took was to see the dreaded expression on his face to know what was running on his head. after thanking the nurse, you sternly gave him your piece of mind.

"whatever it is that's running on your head, quit it" his eyes previously downcasted and staring at the floor, flickering towards you, "I haven't said anything yet"

"It's written all over your face" you sigh, watching his eyes drift away from yours. Kazutora felt incredibly guilty that he can't bear to look at your eyes.

he had done a lot of bad things in his life, maybe this was his punishment, maybe this was his karma, if it is, he doesn't want you getting the same burden, and maybe he was right.

"Maybe it's for the better that we - "

"No" you quickly cut him off, reaching over to hold his hand, which was incredibly warm, "Listen to me, This is not your fault alright? so don't go having any thought in that pretty head of yours"

Kazutora simply stared back at you, content with your hold on his hand. wondering that maybe he wasn't so bad in his previous life to be rewarded as precious as you.

he was brought back when he felt you squeeze his hand, "are we clear?"

"…yeah" he mumbled, gently leaning towards you and nuzzling his head on your shoulder, this time he'll protect you properly.

Hanma

Hanma knows nothing good comes out of being associated with him. but he was being greedy wanting to have you in his life, he thought he can protect you but how wrong he was.

and for the first time in his life, he didn't want to be selfish, for your sake and his peace of mind.

"so that's it, see you around" he casually bid goodbye, hands stuffed in his pocket, after explaining to you he's breaking up with you 'just because he felt like it'. if it was a normal day it would have hurt you, but you knew him too damn much to know he felt guilty for what happened.

"wait a damn fucking minute" you called after him but Hanma pretended not to hear you and continued walking out of your hospital room. but you were quick to your feet, getting out the bed and dragging the bag of IV with you to catch up with him.

"you can't just come here, say what you want and leave" Hanma momentarily stops in his tracks, an internal turmoil inside his head, a slight worry in his eyes seeing you get out of bed. but if his gonna do it, he has to stay strong, as he continued his way out, "I have nothing left to say"

"Well, I do and you better fucking listen" you voice out loudly than intended, making Hanma sigh as he stops in his tracks once again to give you another piece of his mind and say words he didn't mean but will hurt you so bad that you'll probably stay away from him for good.

"you're serious-"

however, all those words got eaten and forgotten as you came tackling him, arms tightly wrapped around him, and head buried on his chest.

"Don't leave me…please" you coaxed, voice calm and gentle but Hanma can feel the tremors coming from your body. if it was fear of him leaving or fear of the accident. he doesn't care, all he knew was you needed him and that someone has to pay.

"you're a pain in the ass"

As his reasons crumble the bastards who did this to you can enjoy the last hours of their life. meanwhile, he wanted to be a little bit more selfish, as long as you want him, he'll stay with you.

Baji

When Baji came to see you with bruises and some remnants of blood, you immediately knew what had transpired before him seeing you in the hospital.

Baji just can't seat around, he just had to let out his contained rage upon seeing you all bloodied and bruised because of him. and amid the chaos of exchanging fists, he had a thought. his life had always been full of danger and will probably be more dangerous as the Tokyo Manji Gag expands.

he was sure enemies would come swarming towards him and normally that would have thrilled him. but after some careful thought, he wasn't alone anymore, the more enemies he made the more dangerous it become for you and he can only think of one thing to do.

"we should break up"

he coldly said, quick and direct he thought, hands on his side, a glare in his eyes as he stared at you. if there's one thing Baji was good at, it was his acting skills. and if you were anyone else, you would have believed him, luckily, you weren't just anyone.

"I don't understand? why?" you calmly replied, but your eyebrows were furrowed. while Baji remained a certain distance from you. it should be easy he thought, just like he practiced on his head countless times.

"I don't like you anymore"

words he thought would be enough to drive you away yet Baji swore you look calm than he thought you would be.

"then look me in the eyes and tell me you mean it" you sternly replied, and he did so with full confidence but as he searched your eyes, desperately looking for anything that will let him repeat his words, all he found was your eyes fill with unconditional love, eyes that had seen his worse and beauty. nothing came out of his mouth, words stuck on his lips.

"dammit y/n! don't make this anymore harder than it is!"

"then stop it!" you burst out before calming yourself. "I know what I'm getting when I agreed to go out with you, I wouldn't even lie, it was scary, but this is not enough to the point that it will make me leave you, you're stuck with me until the end"

"Besides I have full confidence that you would save me every time"

a rush of warmth spread on Baji's chest, he should deny it, he should continue his act and walk away yet his feet moved towards you as if having a mind of their own. would it be selfish to continue wanting to be with you despite putting you in danger.?

[lingeringdesires505]

maybe its for the best

rin itoshi x reader

angst

rin can’t stop blaming himself, he knows hes at fault, that hes the reason the two of you had broken up. rin’s life mainly revolved around soccer, until he met you. all his life, his only goal was to beat his brother, itoshi sae, and show him how he too could be good at soccer. little did he know, he would be so caught up in his obsession with competing against his brother would ruin a relationship he had cherished so much.

28 April, 10.58 p.m.

The night you two broke up, it was after one of his late night trainings. despite being tired and burnt out, he still stayed back after training, pushing himself to his limit, in hopes that his skill would be up to par with his brother’s.

you laid in your shared bed with him, wondering when he would come home. his soccer training should have ended at 9 p.m., yet he was still not home. seeing the clock almost striking 11, you became more and more worried about your lover. you had sent him multiple texts, but none were read.

“he must be staying back after training again,” you thought to yourself. despite the constant reminders not to overexert himself, and that he should rest more, rin never listened to you. he would either brush you off, saying it was no big deal and that he wasnt tired, or just ignore you. you understood that he was feeling lots of stress especially with the upcoming soccer match, but you just couldnt stand there and see him destroy himself like this. it certainly wasnt healthy and beneficial for his physical or mental health.

as you reached the stadium, you saw a familiar figure doing his routines.

“rin! ive been worried about you. its already 11 p.m., you should come home and rest!” you called out to him as you ran towards him.

“ just a few more minutes…im almost done. after im done, we can go home, okay? “ he said without looking back to you.

as much as you wanted to let him finish, you could already tell he was extremely tired. the sweat running down his forehead and muscles, the heavy panting that you knew all to well — he was already pushing his limits, if you were to let him continue, he might over exhaust himself, doing more harm than good to his body.

“ rinnie, please, youre at your limit already, please just stop! youre going to hurt yourself at this rate! “ you begged him to stop, but he wouldnt listen. tears started to well up in your eyes as you grew more and more anxious, why wouldnt he just stop hurting himself like this and listen to you?

it wasnt long before rin snapped.

“do you really think im that weak?! besides, what i do to my own body is none of your business! youre just another obstacle in the way of my success, just leave me alone you lukewarm piece of shit, god damn it!” he shouted, his eyes filled with anger as he finally looked over to you.

that was when he realised he fucked up.

his heart ached as he saw hot tears streaming down your red cheeks. no, wait, he didnt mean it!

“please baby, wait, i didnt mean it. im so sorry i said that, please..” he immediately stopped what he was doing to run towards you, forcefully hugging you, frantically apologising.

you didnt say anything. you couldnt say anything. you were in disbelief — the man that you had loved with all your heart, the man that you cared for so deeply, wanted you to leave him alone? was this truly the way he felt about you? just an obstacle? a lukewarm piece of shit?

“baby please, i didnt mean any of that… its all my fault, i know you want the best for me. forgive me please… please, say something!” this time, rin was the one of the verge of tears.

“so that’s how you feel about me?… you want me to leave you alone?…” you managed to stutter out, trying hard not to start bawling on the spot. how could he say something so hurtful?

“fine. if that’s how you want it, dont contact me ever again rin, it’s over between us.”

you ran back to your car before rin could react and slammed the door shut, driving off to your shared apartment to pack your things and move out. you weren’t just angry, you were upset.

you couldnt believe this was how your relationship with rin was going to end. you always thought of rin as someone you would continue to love and care for, someone you would grow old with.

that night, rin laid on the grass in the stadium, looking up at the night sky, head filled with regrets, heart aching.

present

was it really worth it? rin always asked himself. sure, he managed to show to his brother that his soccer skills were excellent, but that didnt make him happy. in fact, after the two of you had broken up, nothing made him happy. how could he be happy without you? he was struggling to even live a day without you.

rin would spend countless sleepless nights scrolling through his photo gallery, looking at photos you had forced him to take with you. the poor man couldnt even sleep without your scent. he would often try and find old articles of clothing you had left behind around the house — it was the only way he could sleep, with your scent.

he would spend many hours training, even if there wasnt any upcoming matches. he was desperate to find any sort of distraction to distract himself from thinking about you.

some nights after training, he prayed that you would still be there outside the stadium, waiting to drive him home. he prayed that he could see you again, hear your sweet voice and hearty laugh again. he was so desperate to hear your voice again, he didnt care if he had to hear your nagging or your complaints, he just needed to hear you again, to see that pretty face of yours.

rin always thought about how foolish he was. before he met you, he felt that unfortunate things always happened to him. he always thought about how terrible and unlucky his life was. that was until he met you. you were like a blessing from heaven, an angel that came and brightened up his dull, lukewarm life. he wished he had known how to appreciate you earlier. if only he had opened his eyes and see how much you had loved and cared for him.

it feels like torture scrolling through your instagram page, seeing you move in with your new boyfriend, seeing you have dinner dates with him. he knows your new boyfriend treats you way better than he ever did, and he feels happy that your being taken good care of, but deep down, his heart was being ripped into shreds. it felt so wrong, but he couldnt stand the thought of you laughing, or smiling for another man. you were already moving on with life, getting ready to marry your boyfriend, and there was nothing he could do about it.

rin accepted that he could never be at peace with himself, especially since he had fucked up the only good thing in his life. it was too late for regrets, the only thing he could do now was make sure that you were safe and happy from afar.

———————————————————————————

thank you for reading!

word count: 1.2k

feel free to request!

please dont steal

@lingeringdesires505 2024

[kroosluvr]

hi!! as a fellow royal trio-truther ive been ADORING and loving your posts so much <3 you mentioned that you've like mentally re-wired shusumi so i was curious if you had a list of head-canons for how they develop in the game/post-game!! Im super curious to hear (: also any head-canons for the akesumi dynamic would be great bc I hate how little the game developed them together !!!

OMGGGGGGGGG HAYYYYYYYYYY ok so. first. look at this (idr if i posted this here already but if i did look again heh..)

ok now ill actually talk under the cut

note that some of this is headcanon territory bc i just be frolicking at this point

some backstory i fell in love w sumi as soon as her art was revealed i was like omfg peak design PEAKKKKKK i love her so much so i was really excited abt her but i feel like there were so many loose ends w her confidant and namely her crush on protag sometimes doing her a disservice (it turned ppl off from her (understandable bc i also dislike when writers make a female character out to be dependent on a male character) but also made other ppl weird abt her in the same breath....... shivers. people who overly-romanticize/sexualize mentally ill characters (especially girls/women) freak me out sorry

anyway that put me off frm p5 fandom for a hot minute. BUT regardless. i think people often focus on like "shy cute sadgirl kouhai crush-on-protag" for her which on top of atlus's.......mediocre handling of her also does her character a disservice... shes so multilayered!! she houses such insane convoluted levels of distress and fear and anger and reluctance and most of all STUBBORNNESS. i think her headstrong personality is not really emphasized in fandom but i can totally see it (maybe its just me but).

ok moving on to my shsm delusions i think to turn sumire's canon crush on its head i want to make them doomed to never get together. i think 3rd semester is so tense and high-emotion that royal trio are so deeply intertwined w each other:

like they all are mildly-to-a-lot suicidal so they hold onto each other so tightly to make sure none of them spirals and does anything bad. i think in the end they just want the other two to be Okay, even if they themself doesn't. if the other two are ok, then it's all good.

ok back to shsm LMAO i think seeing their relationship as like an odd high-emotion situation makes sense. they love each other, obviously, and provide each other comfort, but the idea of a relationship slips thru their fingers like water. is that right...? is that how it is? like i said up there they just crumble under the weight of their own love. tldr theyre in no place to "date" each other........ but they have their "almost." they're inseparable, they love spending time with each other, but knowing in the back of their heads that it won't last, and they'll have to leave it be one day. "sometimes when i really love someone i leave them alone forever." peak shsm to me. "let's run away together - but what if it's not enough? what if all of this fear and sadness still stays? i take a man down to the river and he throws away his sadness but hes still left with his hands, he's still left with the river (paraphrased richard siken). peak shsm to me. i think they try to treat eachother so softly and gently that it fucks it all up, actually. peak shsm to me. it's not codependency in the sense that theyre not trying to save each other - they're just trying to salvage out some love from it all. all of these terrible things that happened: there's still love, right? there's still love. but the pain can't all be sifted out, and everything still hurts. but they still love. (they just don't date or even talk to each other much after graduating and i think they talk to akechi but to each other its suddenly COMPLICATED. i hate these guys)

ironically i think if you throw akechi in the mix it stabilizes out and i think shuakesumi could totally have a happy married ending. but shsm as a pair i dont see endgame for them. peak for me is that theyre in love and then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget each other (they don't)

(If this sounds ridiculous and stupid im sorry. i just like shoving too-many-emotions onto my favs sometimes (a lot of the time))

IN REGARDS TO AKESUMI i think my latest 2 comics describe how i feel abt them pretty well!!! link 1 and link 2. actually i think akesumi's friendship is a great way for me to explore how i see/portray/feel about sumire, because i see them as way more similar than the game pays attention to. they're both stuck in their ways: sumire in her cowardice, hiding from the incident and refusing to move on, and akechi entrenched in his own traumas and feeling like he doesn't deserve more than that. their self-hatred manifests in two opposite ways but its very similar at the core. they both like. have no fucking clue what they're doing in terms of handling their pasts so that's why i think them working together to get around their own respective traumas is so fascinating: akechi is terrible at it, pushing sumire too far, but at the same time that perspective is something that she needs. meanwhile, her sensitive and observant personality shows akechi that like, you can have This too: a soft, good love. to have someone care about you unconditionally, so gently. you deserve that, too. yeah i can explode my head off now

i did not proofread this.

[broooooo]

(writing this first story of mine, for me specifically, to experience my own fantasy)

My name's aaron

Im in my 3rd year of highschool, I'm 19 years old, long hair, ace, nothing going for myself, not exactly bullied, not exactly popular, just Invisible most of the time, sitting alone and watching the masses, Im not a fan of school either, math can suck ass, and everything else is annoying, for years I look upon the popular seniors, all so hot, all so popular, when ever I was noticed, they would talk to me , they are so kind, the jocks in the group are nice to, although they are very horny, since I'm older, I never played sports, I was a protected child, but I always fantasize about playing football, to be a jock, iv loved the look of muscles, cleats, beer, iv jacked off to many pictures, to fuel my insecurities, maybe one day I could fit in, oh how I wish to be one of them

I said this under my breath, just so I could hear it, to calm me , I sigh and go back to listening to music to wait for my next clas

Without me knowing it, one of the jocks (Jason) ended up vaguely hearing me from close by, mostly the part about I wish I could be a jock, muscles , beer...,

He has a blank but grinning smirk, he gathers his other jock bros and rushes to coach, coach is an eccentric man, large muscles and gym lesson workouts that leave the students in pain for days.

Jason tells coach about what he heard , coach has a evil grin with his hand rubbing together,

"jason- bring him... to me"

"yes coach"

While I wait for my next class, listening to music, I see Jason and his buddies come up to me, I'm kinda shocked and happy someone acknowledged me, wonder what they want

I look up at Jason making eye contact.

"What up Aaron, my bro, coach would like to see you*

I'm visibly confused

"me? Why?"

"nothing bad, your gonna like this"

" eh, ok, what's the worst that can happen"

"ALL RIGHT LETS GOO" jason and his buddies are cheering,

In my head I think, why are they so happy xd, I wonder what could be happening, I hope Its nothing about how I skipped gym class last week,

I enter coaches office-

I say - " yes coach, you wanted to see me?"

-" yes I did, come sit over hear"

I sit across from him, taking note of the musk in the room, an intoxicating smell to say the least.

We make eye contact

"soo Aaron, I hear you want to be a jock"

Shock runs through me,

"wait what?, But how?"

"my boy Jason told me, a friend of yours I asume?"

"well I wouldn't say "friend" but we have talked in the past"

My heart's racing , breathing faster, the smell in the air ain't helping either, but I am getting hard under my trousers.

In coaches mind" don't worry my boy, Jason and the others will soon be your best BRO'S"

"now what do you say Aaron?, Want to join us?, To become a jock, I can teach you everything like your my son"

I'm a little scared, but also excited, like what the fuck is going on rn?

"umm .. y yeah , sure, I wouldn't mind coach..."

Coach smiles,

"well answered, hear, for starters, drink this son"

Son?, He hands me a can of beer,

"go on, drink, it's a staple jock drink"

Shaking, I click open the can and start of sip , gulp , and then slowly down the drink,

"how do u feal Aaron, anything different?"

"well idk, besides me being hard as a rock and sweating hard, maybe a little tipsy, I don't drink all that often_ I start to drool a little

In coaches mind he says ( well it's sure working fast I'd say, he wants this, so there's no resistance, soon he will be drinking all the time), coach smirks

"Well come with me son, leave your things, you won't be needing them, and don't worry about your next classes, iv got you covered"

I leave my jacket, and bag behind, as I get up, I feel dizzy, but a happy dizzy, Jason takes hold of me

" you good lil bro?, Don't worry, things will bet better"

lil bro ? I think, hah,sounds cool

"yeah thanks Jason, I owe you... Big bro"

Jason smiles ,

He's my big bro hehe, drool keeps coming from my lips, my head is dizzy

I'm moved into the locker room, coach orders Jason to put me down on one of the benches facing a TV, usually used to watch the game

"Jason, help Aaron undress"

"yes coach"

I become undressed, my top, my trousers, my boxers are soaked in pre ,and my hard cock is a sight to see,

Drool keeps coming

"Alright Jason, sit next to him, while I set this up"

Jason and his bros sit next to me ..

A video starts to play, Jason holding me up, as I stare at the screan.

Jason Whispers into my ear" don't worry lil bro, master coach and I hear for you" with a big dumb smile,

I continue to drool in a dazed state, my cock rock hard and leaking a fountain of pre

I stare at the video

Coach comes out of the back with a football kit, cleats, jock strap, pads, and a helmet,

"now stare Aaron, stare, become who you wish to be me, who's your meant to be,

A dumb jock"

I , Jason and the bros start to laugh, as we all stare at the screen, we are all hard, but I'm the most affected, seems they have been through this already,

"what do u wish you Aaron?"

Slobly I say

"dumb... Jock.... To becum...beer..... Bros.... Muscles ...... Football..... Wish.... I am dum , I obsy, I .... I must obey, .... I jock bro.... Bro.... Cum."

Coach grins- "good boy, now who do you obey?"

"i..,..I obay....yoouoou.... ... Master coach"

"and what are you?"

"a... Dumbbro... Jock..."

"good boy my son, we are almost done here, stand up boy, don't look away from the screen

I sand up, my bro Jason holding me steady

Coach then dresses me up in the kit, all soaked in something that soon my skin soaks up

It's all too big for me, but then,

My muscles are , my body, they are growing, my stomach hardens into 6 pack abs, my triceps and bi ceps , my arms are inflating and hardening with pure muscle, my hands beef up with hardened fingers from years in the gym and the field, my neck thickens and chest widens with huge hard nipples, my legs thicken and elongate , tree trunk muscle legs form, my feet expand, grow , while my hardened dick, grows longer, harder, leaking even more, a 12 inch monster , my body start to stink,

The kit starts to fit against me, tight, the cleats feel snug and the gloves give energy, my body fully soaked the liquid from before , coach stands back holding the helmet

"good boy Aaron, now recite the screens words, submit to me, to your new life

My thoughts are changing, my memory fading, changing, I recite the screens words..

"I am a jock,

I am a jock, I am a jock

I am a bro, a jock, a dumb

A dumb jock bro, football

I must obey coach, I am a jock, football jock , I m obedient, I am dumb , I am a bro , I am A dumb

Football jock...."

"who do you obey"

"I obey you coach"

With that, coach places the helmet on my head

My mind stops, I go blank, my memories reshape,

I am a dumb jock, I am a bro, quarterback of the team, Jason and the other bros have been my bros for years, we love sucking each others dicks, no homo bro, only us men know how to to work a dick, better than any chick,, Jason is my big bro, we workout, we get drunk together,, we obey

We obey master coach

Coach then pays attention to my hard leaking jock, were all my old memories are in the lemon sizes ball churning with new jock cum

"sit down boy" I sit down to coaches orders, Jason and others relax against me, we are all about to burst

Coach starts to jack me off, I start to grunt in a deep voice.

"good... Good boy Aaron , good jock boy , relax, let it sink in, you are dumb jock my son, your dreams have been fulfilled, who do you thank?"

" I thank you coach"

" good boy... Now CUM"

We all moan and grunt as cum, CUM , rods of cum shoot out all over us, puddles of cum stain our Kits, the walls, the bench, some got on to coach , he licks it off of him.

Coach lets go of my cum covered dick, and pushes it back into the cup jock strap, then tightens the tight football leggings to complete it

My huge muscled body sits,against the wall,

"stand up Aaron my son"

My head starts to clear, thinking only of beer, cock, coach football, the bros, football.... . muscles. Working out... Beer..

Me , Jason and my bros stand up

"yes coach? My dick still hard , ready for more , very horny

" we are gonna do some training for the game, Jason and the others , go, your bro Aaron needs his picture taken for the year book.

"Yes coach!, Hehe, welcome to the team lil bro, we'll be waiting outside , Jason bro bumps my back,

_" see you there big bro"

"stand over hear Aaron my son"

"yes coach"

Click, the pictures are taken

As the flashing light fades, my dick explodes once again, cum pooling in the jock cup,

I am a dum football jock.

" run off to practice boy, ill meet the team there,

"YES COACH"

I run to the field, my loud steps echoing

Coach takes one last pic of me on the field, to commemorate this special day,

"soon he will be bringing others to me.

So happy to make Aaron's dreams come true"

Coach runs to the field, proud , ready to get us to the championship games

" ALRIGHT BOYS, 6 laps, GO, there's beers waiting for ya"

____________________________

The end, ahhhh , the dream... Atleast I made it come true in writing xd

If anyone sees this, what do you think?

I sure enjoyed my first story

[skyartworkzzz]

Because you said you love rambeling about lore and you are looking for excuses to talk about it redeem this cupon for one free lore ramble, any topic

OH YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT U JUST DONE

SIT BACK AND RELAX CUZ THE GOATS UNIVERSE HAS BEEN IN MY MIND THE WHOLE WEEK + SOME HEKET RAMBLING Cuz I got her a partner idea hehehe <3

LONG RAMBLING UNDER THE CUT!!! (btw bless chu I appreciate u <3 )

ABOUT CULT OF THE GOAT AU:

About the Purple Crown: Ive been seeing a lot of interpretations of Goat's Crown going around and honestly Id like to put in my cents: I dont think the Crown being purple changes who the owner was, because the eye shape is still the same as Lamb's Which brings me to think that, just like how in COTL everything seems to be colored after warmer/reddish colors, everything in Goat's universe must be following cooler/purpleish palettes What does that mean to me? That ALL the other Crowns are of different colors as well, maybe a colder one compared to their original ones

Im still thinking about what each of them would be here but so far I like to think that Yellow -> Ocean green?? Green -> Blue Blue -> dark pink? Purple -> Cyan/White

I think the Crown shapes would still be the same + what each Bishop's domain would be as well

About Aym and Baal: They were never offered to Narinder. Shamura didnt have that compassion. They were so mad at their brother that they couldnt bring themselves to consider his feelings for being banished. Neither did any of the other siblings, for they wouldve been too busy fighting off Old Gods and hunting for empowerment

So where are Aym and Baal? Theyre alive! With Forneus! And both of them are lil jerks as much as their mother Taught to steal, lie and fight, all in order to survive no matter what. The twins have already expressed wanting to go out and explore the world, but Forneus refuses to let her kids go, much for her own selfish reasons of them being the only things that make her happy in this fcked up world AND because, of course, she loves them. She knows how cruel the world has turned into, she does not want to lose them Aym and Baal never met Narinder, and Narinder never met them Maybe eventually, while Goat is out in a crusade, they shall cross paths........as enemies

About the Purgatory: This is still smtng I am speculating about, but what I have so far: instead of it being MS to tell the Goat to free the Bishops from their deserved-suffering, itd be them asking the deity if such thing was possible, because Narinder wouldve been feeling bad about it He believes that his siblings could change over time, especially now that the Crowns were relinquished by the Goats power, and so they are allowed to have that chance This would unlock many scenarios of the Bishops actively trying to take over the cult, run away or kill the Goat + their followers. It is smtng Ill let cook for a while more

IF ANYTHING Id just- leave them dead lol they wouldnt be redeemable in this world (BUT BECAUSE I LOVE MY SKRUNKLIES EQUALLY ILL TRY TO MAKE IT WORK-)

ABOUT HEKET: Ehehehe I accidentally started shipping her with my follower OC Astrid so we'll see how it goes

Astrid is someone who keeps to herself for the sake of others; she is not used to opening up and oftentimes believes her pain is not worth of complains compared to others she is caring for However, she is very much talkative, maybe as a way to make her forget her problems Whilst Heket she- well. She cant. Talk much it hurts like hell UASHDNJASMDK

SO WE HAVE A TALKATIVE BUBBLY GF WITh her mostly quiet butch wife that shes constantly having to change the bandages of <3

I have a dialogue set up for them which I shall get to drawing a comic for as soon as I am done with thIS CURRENT COMIC-

ANYWAYS thats the ramblings for now, HOPE YALL LIKE THE IDEAS bless u again for givng me a free pass made me rlly happy MWEHE,,!! 💜💜💜

[skz317cb97]

Leave Me

Minho x Reader (gender not specified)

Word count: 630

Synopsis: You do the unthinkable after another fight with your husband

A/N: 18+ ONLY! The topic of this story centers around attempted suicide heavily. If that is an upsetting or triggering topic PLEASE skip this one! I would absolutely hate if someone read something that was upsetting to them! This is based off the Anees song titled Leave Me, lots of the lyrics peppered through. If this makes you feel things give it a reblog, like, comment. Feed back is the biggest motivation!

Warnings: 18+ONLY MDNI! This story is about an attempted suicide. It mentions toxic behavior, arguments, and uses strong language. If any of that can be triggering or upsetting please don't proceed with this story. I don't want anyone to be upset by anything I've created so please heed the warnings!

Minho stood next to the hospital bed you were in, tubes, IV’s and cords hooked up, keeping you alive when he knew you didn’t want to be. He stood there guilt stricken, gut wrenched. How could you do this to yourself? Your father had gone off on him, rightfully so, it was Minho’s fault. He’d made a promise on the day you said your vows. He swore to love you, to never let you down. He swore to protect you from pain to shelter you from it, not be the cause of it. He’d promised your mom and your dad. If he wasn’t always so concerned about the future he would have noticed you needed him by your side, he thought to himself. After all of those days, you kept it inside he didn’t know how he’d missed all the tears that you cried. 

A fight. 

Just a fight. 

It was just a fight. 

He was working too much, not present enough. It was like you blink and years had passed you by. You wanted to start a family but you worried he was drifting away, possibly having an affair. A fight. Just a fight. It was just a fight. Minho didn’t like the person he was when he hurt you cause his knee jerk reaction was to leave. He would desert you in the middle of an argument, too angry to listen anymore like he’d done this time.  

You were the only one he’d ever dreamed of, a truth that he hid with lies when he was mad. He said he loved you enough to let you be free, so if you wanted to leave then leave then slammed the door behind him as he left himself.  

When he was calm again, like always, he realized he truly didn’t deserve you. He couldn’t blame you, it was him, his absence, his temper, it started with him. He loved you but would leave you in moments of need until you finally broke like the promise he refused to keep.  

Minho went back to apologize, to make things right but when he walked through the door he found you in the living room, unconscious, with an empty bottle of your meds on the floor close by. He quickly turned you on your side and made sure you weren’t choking on your tongue or vomit then called emergency. As he stood over you now in the hospital now, it killed him. Cause maybe he’s the reason why. Of course he’s the reason why. He got on his knees holding your hand in both of his. 

“I’m begging you don’t leave me. You can do so much better and if you wake up and want a divorce, I won’t blame you but please, please don’t die, please don’t leave me.” He was crying with his head pressed to the back of your hand now. 

“I’m so sorry for the way things went down and I’d be lying through my teeth if I told you I was surprised. I wish that I could run back and right my wrongs, maybe you wouldn’t be gone if I spent my energy trying to actually be a better man. I don’t think you understand what you mean to me. What did I think would happen, our love was deeper than ration. No I don’t deserve you but please don’t leave me.” Your hand squeezed Minho’s and his head shot up in a flash. He saw you looking down at him with tears in your eyes and he could tell you wanted to say something but with the tubes, right now that was impossible. Minho nodded, tears streaking his face and ran his thumb over the apple of your cheek. 

“It’s going to be okay. I love you.” 

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

@acciocriativity @caroline-ds-world @chansynie @ughbehavior @jquellen27 @jisuperboard @fixation-dump @lachinitaaaaa @rinrinndou @bangchans-angel @laylasbunbunny @owo-manii-uwu @armystay89 @b00dyguts @purplenimsicle @caticorn61 @lauraneuuh @channieandhisgoonsquad @minnysproutgriffinteddy @svintsandghosts @the-sweetest-rose @alice630 @3rachasninja @m0ri-apeuda @eastleighsblog @linoification @mlink64 @smally97 @fun-fanfics @chansducky10 @starfire21 @cessixja @siewoon @berryberrytan @binnies-minsung-fanclub @lethallyprotected

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Hey y’all guess what?!? :) it’s time for a new episode of Bedtime Stories With PCE!!!

Who ordered some old man yaoi? That’s right, this one is set right after If Heaven And Hell Decide, with a sick Kyle, worried Stan, the best little immortal cat of all time, adding injury to illness, two middle aged men being massive fantasy dorks, all that goodness. Very sorry to my favorite arthritic ginger it will happen again, very sorry to his extremely concerned husband.

And y’all. I’m dedicating this to the Sickfic Queen herself, @alwaysinstyle who consistently kicks ass and gets stoked about style taking care of each other with me. Ana I love you so much and I’m so proud of you. All the people in your corner, we have you covered.

Also OFC the rest of the RANT homies have been subjected to random snippets of this over the past 2 weeks or so (jesus my sadsack ass needs to get some motivation back how has it been two weeks) but hey I will always be obnoxious when the mood strikes me and this long ass monstrosity is FINALLY done!!! Thank y’all fr for putting up with me.

Here’s •Well, That Would Be Pretty Odd•

A subtle knock at the door drew Stan’s attention and Kyle from uneasy rest. His husband’s head lolled exhaustively in his hand, still drained of energy and, according to the screen displaying his vitals, running a pretty high fever. Stan kept one arm protectively over him and turned to the door. “Yeah?”

The doctor entered, shutting the door behind her. “Hey, guys, how are we doing in here?”

Kyle pulled up slowly, clearly emotional, like he always got when he was sick. “Can I go home yet? Moose needs me.”

“Our cat,” Stan explained. “He’s worried he scared our cat.”

“I did.”

“Scared the hell out of your husband, too, sick as you are. It says on the chart you guys filled out that your blood sugar was low enough to potentially trigger a seizure. If he hadn’t acted as fast as he did, you’d be even worse off than you are.”

Kyle slumped back into Stan. “He always rescues me,” he murmured.

Stan felt like crying. “I’m your knight when you need me, dude.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, what’re we working with here? Stomach flu, dehydration, complications because of the diabetes, all that, right?”

“Right. Kyle, we have you on antivirals and fluids via IV for now, and I know you’re eager to get home-“

“-he hates hospitals-“

“-I hate hospitals.”

The doctor smiled kindly, even after getting interrupted. Stan liked her. “We’re keeping you overnight at least, but if your vitals are still stable and your fever is less than 102, we can send you home.”

Stan knew Kyle appreciated being the one addressed about his own health. This doctor could read the room, that’s for sure. Kyle nodded tiredly, eyes closed.

“How about when we go home? What’s the plan?” Stan inquired, tired as fuck himself but making an exception for Ky, always.

“Fluids, rest, anything with nutritional value that can stay down. Your friend in the waiting room mentioned orange juice as you guys’ go-to when Kyle’s having trouble with blood sugar? And he said you’re always diligent about keeping an eye on his health.” She was definitely addressing Stan now, since Kyle had clearly relinquished responsibility for the time being, knowing Stan had him covered. Hell yeah he did. “Any further complications; if you catch the bug too and can’t take care of him, another bad sugar drop or fever spike, and you guys come right back here. But at this point, it’s looking like this is something manageable from home, fingers crossed.”

And Stan had every finger crossed. He’d take care of Kyle, just like Kyle took care of him. Even if he was kind of scared as fuck, not having seen him quite this sick since maybe college. Or even when they were kids and he needed kidney surgery. He bit the panic down. Kyle was okay.

“Gotcha. I can spend the night? Spousal rights and everything?”

“You won’t convince him not to stay if you say no,” was Kyle’s muffled reply.

The doctor laughed. “I won’t make you leave. The last thing I want is either of you worked up, especially you, Kyle. If you need your husband with you to be comfortable-“

“-mhm-“

“-that’s not a problem in my book.” She tapped her clipboard with long fingernails. “There’s a call button on the bed if you need anything between the nurses checks, and I’ll tell your friend he’s free to go. He isn’t allowed back here, I’m afraid, but I can also let him know he can be the one to pick you up in the morning, if that’s what you two want?”

Kyle mumbled something that sounded like “like a good neighbor, Tucker is there” to the tune of the state farm insurance jingle. The doctor raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, he’s pretty delirious, alright.” A couple quick checks to Kyle’s IV line and heartbeat monitor, and she was gesturing for Stan to lay his half asleep husband back down. “You boys get some rest. We’ll keep you posted.”

“Thanks,” Stan whispered, letting Kyle nuzzle into his chest as she left the room. Once they were alone in the darkened space, he kissed him softly on the top of the head. Kyle was a space heater. But if the hospital staff wasn’t alarmed, they were okay. “I’ve got you, baby, just sleep.”

The next morning, Kyle improved enough to leave and discharge paperwork done, they faced the problem of actually getting the sick man home.

Stan waved off the nurse’s offered wheelchair and stubbornly picked Kyle up because like hell was he losing even a second of contact. That and he took pride in the fact that he was in his 40s and still able to carry his husband.

“Sir, there’s procedure…”

Kyle snorted from where his head was against Stan’s shoulder, coherent enough to be aware but still too weak to insist on, god forbid, trying to walk on his own. “Believe me, ma’am, there’s no way in hell you’re convincing this guy not to carry me. Losing battle, mark my worms- words.”

Someone needed to be home in bed.

The nurse sighed, clearly deciding it wasn’t worth argument. Thank God, because Kyle could out argue anyone normally, but he was fucking tired.

“Just sing me home again, Orpheus,” he murmured into his husband’s ear.

Stan laughed at the reference. “Alright, ma’am, so if we’re all set….”

“Yes, yes, you can go. Hope you feel better.”

Kyle only had a vague recollection of both Stan and Craig yelling at the hospital staff when they brought him in, which was kind of funny to think about. Craig didn’t get worked up about things easily, and Stan was as gentle as they came. But it was nice to know his friend and his partner were willing to act so out of character for his sake. He muttered a “hey, spaceman” in greeting when Stan lowered him into the back of Craig’s car, mid morning sun forcing him to keep his eyes closed.

Craig barked a short laugh, pulling from the parking lot when both his passengers were settled for the short drive. “Someone’s feeling better.”

“I’ll get him set to rights, kick the plague’s ass,” Stan said, softly kissing his husband’s still too warm forehead. “Thanks for picking us up, dude. And for last night.”

“No biggie,” Craig shrugged nonchalantly. “Someone had to keep a level head and it sure as hell wasn’t gonna be either of you.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong there. Craig was probably the least prone to getting over emotional person Stan had ever met.

Craig’s husband, however, was the exact opposite. Upon getting home and getting up to bed, Kyle could faintly hear the frantic voice of Tweek downstairs, bringing Moose back from spending the night over at apartment two.

Kyle was nauseous, not to the point that he had been, but nauseous all the same, waiting for Stan to be done retrieving their cat and filling Kyle’s water. He felt weak as shit, and sweaty, which was probably a reasonably good indicator of his fever coming down, but it fucking sucked. And he was going to need some soup or something in him soon so his blood sugar didn’t get so bad again, which was another thing that sucked, because why do flesh prisons require so much maintenance? Why did his body require so much to function.

He didn’t realize tears were flowing until Stan entered the bedroom, hands full with the water, a KMBS, and one of those bottled protein drinks that tasted like chalk. Moose was quick to jump up and pad softly over to him, big blue eyes so worried and sweet as he curled up beside him. Kyle’s two blue eyed boys.

The second of whom was setting the drinks on the bedside table. There was a straw in each, so Kyle wouldn’t have to move as much to drink. It made him cry harder.

“Shhh, dude, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Stan climbed onto his side and grabbed the juice, holding it to Kyle’s lips. “I know you don’t feel good, that’s okay. I’ve got you. Go slow, okay?”

Kyle complied, the sharp taste of salted orange juice helping both physically and mentally. Plus, it’s hard to drink something and cry at the same time, so his breathing was a little less sporadic. A few sips were all he managed before his stomach started rolling, and he shook his head. Stan understood, setting the cup down and pulling Kyle’s face into his chest. “Just sleep, baby. I’m gonna have to check your temperature and levels in about an hour, but just sleep until then, alright?”

“Mhm.”

Stan would take care of him. Kyle would put up a fight, when he had the strength to, but Stan knew from experience that he’d be ‘secretly’ loving being cared for.

The husbands had a couple favorite positions to hold each other in. They’d hold the other from behind, arms wrapped around and poised to kiss an exposed nape or shoulder as a reminder of their presence. They would entangle themselves like they were doing now, they’d let the other’s head rest on their legs, Kyle would perch himself in Stans lap or Stan would drape over him like a blanket. Holding each other was safe. And in this moment Stan wrapped protectively around his sick partner like it was his sacred duty, one hand cradling Kyle’s head from underneath, fingers gently rubbing his hair, the other arm tucking him firmly against himself, feeling Moose’s purrs vibrating where the cat had claimed his place against Kyle’s back, right below the place Stan’s arm was wrapped around.

Stan glanced at the nightstand clock, keeping watch for the next time they’d need to wake up for a check in. About an hour and he’d get the thermometer to make sure they were still headed in the right direction, check Kyle’s levels, make them both something for, well, he supposed lunch at this point, and call the clinic to let his coworkers know that he’d be out a few days for a family emergency. He’d have to let Kyle’s work know too, before his husband tried to go into school still unwell.

Fitfully, Kyle dozed, sweating in his sleep, which Stan knew damn well he’d complain about when he woke up, but personally, he didn’t mind holding a miniature sun, because it was Kyle. Overheated, but still Kyle.

It hadn’t quite been an hour, but the warmth was starting to concern him. He gently kissed the top of his husband’s head, encouraging him to stir.

“Dude, hey.”

Kyle let out a tired whine as indication that he was awake.

“I know, baby. I just need to check your temperature and then you can go back to sleep.”

“I can check my own damn temperature,” Kyle protested, rolling over onto his back when Stan relinquished his grasp around his beloved. He scowled. “I’m all sweaty.”

Stan chuckled lowly. Was he right or was he right. “Gimme a second.”

Upon getting the thermometer and finding that they were still going in the right direction, Stan relaxed slightly. He let Kyle check both his temperature and blood sugar by himself, because it wasn’t worth the impending argument and the last thing he wanted was to make his husband feel helpless. Fever was down, but he definitely needed something to eat soon.

“Dude, do you think you can handle something solid, or you wanna keep sticking with drinks?”

Kyle hadn’t puked in a while, so he felt like maybe something simple, easy on the stomach, would be okay. As much as he wanted to keep going with the safe option of juice and a protein shake, he wouldn’t get better without something substantial in him and he knew it. “I can try. No promises.”

“You don’t need to promise anything,” Stan insisted, leaning down to kiss him on the way out of bed. “But I have an idea, if you’re okay by yourself for a few minutes.”

“Moose is with me. I’m not by myself,” Kyle remarked with a sleepy smile.

Stan snorted and went to change into jeans, last night’s pajamas not exactly ideal attire for walking to the BBQ place a block over. Kyle was weird about food sometimes, but Brendan’s mac and cheese was a simple, safe, Kyle approved bet. He’d probably want it to get cold first like he usually did (weirdo), but sick Kyle was sort of a wild card. They’d see.

“I’ll be back in fifteen, dude, drink some water.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Kyle heard the door close downstairs, slowly reaching for his water at the bedside, one hand resting on their cat’s head. Moose was stretched out along his side, fluffy tail dangling off the side of the mattress.

“You sleepy too, young nastyman?” Kyle asked, setting the bottle down and closing his eyes. Moose purred in response.

Apparently he’d drifted off again, waking up to the rustle of a takeout bag and a strong, smoky smell.

Kyle clapped a hand over his mouth. Ordinarily the smell of brisket and ribs wouldn’t bother him, but in his half asleep state, smelling meat on Stan of all people…

“…Dude?”

“FUCKING CHANGE!” Kyle screeched, staggering up to run to the bathroom, tears in his eyes because the bbq place smell all over his vegetarian husband was wrong and disorienting and he hated being sick and fevers made him sensitive and an asshole and-

Falling hard in front of the toilet, he felt his knee go out. The cherry on top of the fucking cake while his stomach tried to escape his body. Kyle cried out in pain, which was cut off immediately by a wave of sick splashing into the porcelain while he attempted to move and take the weight off his left leg, shaking and already crying because he was pissed and it hurt and he couldn’t catch a damn break. Dry heaving and spluttering, he collapsed tiredly into the alcove between the toilet and the cabinets, one trembling arm draped over the seat and the other hand clutching his knee, eyes shut tightly against the light and the nausea and pain.

“Ky, hey, hey, oh, fuck, baby, shit, did you twist your knee? Okay, you’re okay, hold on-“

Kyle leaned over to retch again, choking out “YOU SMELL WRONG” because that’s all he could manage between gasps.

Stan yanked his shirt off and threw it through the open door into the hallway, past where Moose was watching with wide eyes from the threshold. “Okay, I’m sorry, is that better? Here.” He gently eased Kyle’s hand away from his leg, carefully straightening it out. “God, yeah, it’s already swelling.”

“WHY do I have to LIVE IN THIS GODDAMN FLESH PRISON?!?” Kyle slammed his fist against the floor, frustrated beyond belief. Stan caught his hand before he could do it again.

“Shh, Ky, c’mon. You’re okay, it’s fine.”

Seeing his husband like this, sick, aggravating his bad knee mid vomit, broke Stan’s heart. But he had him. He had him and wouldn’t let go. Was that dramatic? Absolutely. But when the fuck was he not dramatic about Kyle’s health?

“THAT FUCKING STUPID ASS NURSE!” Kyle was yelling. “Sending me sick kids, thinking they were just trying to get out of class, that BITCH!”

“Baby, dude, calm down, man, breathe.”

“YOU’RE ONE TO FUCKING TALK!”

Alright, point to Kyle. Stan sighed as Kyle heaved over the toilet again, expelling nothing but water. They really needed to get something in him before he wound up needing the hospital again. Stan gently rubbed his husband’s back as he hiccuped and cried, clearly feeling betrayed by his body. A few minutes of heavy breathing, and Kyle was pulling back up. “I- I think I’m d-done.”

“Alright dude, I’m gonna get you up now, that okay?”

“Mhm”

Very, very carefully, Stan hauled Kyle from the floor, mindful not to move his knee too much and going slow in case of another bout of nausea. Moose trotted into the bedroom after his dads, obviously distressed seeing Kyle cry and immediately curling back up against the redhead when Stan set him down.

Stan was honestly a little nauseous himself, because Kyle’s frustrated tears never failed to make him emotional too. But he knew what to do here, he reminded himself. Fever was coming down, leg flare up was pretty routine, Kyle would rant it out if he had to and Stan would be his yes-man, and liquids were probably going to be the staple for the rest of the day.

He rolled up a throw blanket and propped it under Kyle’s leg, taking some strain off the irritated joint and kissing his husband’s kneecap when he did so. “You want ice, babe?”

“Yes I want fucking ice,” Kyle mumbled, arms draped over his eyes.

Stan could admit to enjoying taking care of Kyle when he fucked up his knee; pissed off Kyle was cute. “Aw, baby, I got you.” He grabbed the takeout bag from the nightstand too, not knowing if the bbq smell was lingering there too. “I’ll stick this in the fridge for when you want something solid, okay? How ���bout another Ensure?”

Kyle grumbled something inaudible that Stan took as a yes. Poor thing was so upset. But he had every right to be, and Stan would never be annoyed at him for that.

Downstairs, he debated making his husband a smoothie, but the blender was loud, and his head probably already hurt from throwing up. Instead, he just grabbed an ice pack and a shake (strawberry, still gross but the flavor Kyle hated the least), taking the time to scribble out the nutrition information, just in case. That practice was pretty much habit at this point; he’d started ripping off or crossing out the calories on food for Kyle when they were fourteen, when his favorite person was recovering from his eating disorder, and even if he’d been more than fine for a longgggg time, Stan was prone to reverting to the past. When Kyle wasn’t okay, for whatever reason, food lore got crossed out.

“Dude, you up?”

“Mm”

“Shit, babe.” Stan knelt by the bed to carefully apply the ice, reaching a hand up to thumb away a falling tear. “You just mad?”

“Fucking pissed,” Kyle moaned. “It’s not enough that I have the goddamn plague?!? I have to have to fuck my leg up too? My parents are, like twice our age and even they don’t have fucking arthritis!” Kyle pointed two middle fingers to the ceiling as a ‘fuck you’ to god, which was actually pretty funny, but Stan didn’t laugh. That would only make his husband madder.

“Ky, c’mon.” Stan cupped under his head to kiss his cheek, relishing in the subtle smile that action brought. “And your parents didn’t shred tendons and refuse to do physical therapy.”

“I am damn well aware my goddamn arthritis is my own fault, Staniel.” But he sighed contentedly, adjusting the ice pack before leaning back against the pillows. “That helps. I’m sorry.”

Declaring the anger over for now, Stan climbed into bed beside him. “Don’t be sorry, dude. How’s your stomach?”

“I don’t fucking feel good.”

“I know, dude, can you drink a little water? We have to keep you hydrated.”

“It’ll just come back up.”

“Not necessarily.”

Moose crawled up between his dads, small furry head on Kyle’s shoulder, knowing he needed comfort. Kyle rubbed his face on the cat. “Babyman, did I scare you last night? I did, huh?”

“Dude,” Stan started, “he’s fine. You’re fine. We’re all fine. Drink something and don’t move your leg.”

“I didn’t shred my tendons, by the way.” Kyle protested. “I just tore some shit a little.”

“Enough that it’s a problem even now.”

“See, you get it.”

Stan laughed. “Quit being a dick and go to sleep, baby. You know you’ll feel better. I’m right here, dude, whatever you need.”

“I’m not being a dick, I’m being contrary.”

“Same difference.”

“Mm.”

God, poor Kyle, pissed off, sick, having a flare up on top of everything else. “Dude, what do you need?”

“Leg hurts.”

“We have a pack on it, dude. Maybe some ibuprofen? You should take some for the fever anyway.”

“It hurts.”

Stan started to gently rub his partner’s knee. “I know, babe. I know it’s hurting.”

“I hit it on the floor.”

“I know you did.”

“Fuck this shit.”

Kyle knew he was being a total dramatic asshole, but he didn’t care. God had fucked him over; he could be a dick. That made sense. “I’m mad, dude.”

“That’s okay.”

And no he didn’t have the right to be mad. Stan was being so sweet. Always. Any time Kyle’s meat suit betrayed him and he got upset about it, Stan was there, doting and adorable as ever. “I’m sleepy.”

“So go to sleep.”

“Something bad’s gonna happen.”

“Oh, dude.” Stan wrapped around him, carefully. “We’re not OCD spiraling. We’re not. A little rest, alright?”

In actuality, Kyle was too tired to argue.

It had to have been a few hours when Stan felt Kyle stir against his chest, swinging over to get out of bed… and promptly falling with a loud “FUCK!”

“Ky?”

“I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT MY GODDAMN LEG!!!”

Stan sprang off the bed then too, getting on the floor beside his hyperventilating husband. “Dude, shhh, okay, okay, straighten it out.”

Sobbing, Kyle did. “D-don’t, freak, okay? I moved it weird, that’s all.”

“It’s fine, dude. Look at me. I’m not freaking out.” He was just doing a good job hiding it. Stan hated seeing Kyle cry, emotional, probably still feverish and nauseated, trying to get up in the middle of the night and falling on his knee, just the perfect storm of fucked up shit. But Kyle needed to stay calm, above all else. “What did you need, dude? Let me help you.”

“Water,” Kyle mumbled dejectedly.

“And guess what? You have me for that.” Stan carefully felt around his husband’s leg. “Can I turn a light on?”

Kyle responded by throwing up into the trash can, which had Stan gagging too. Fuck. Honestly, he was surprised he lasted so long without sympathy puking. “Hold on, baby.”

Stan rushed to the bathroom to empty his own stomach, somehow only just noticing that he still hadn’t put a shirt on from earlier. And Kyle hadn’t said anything about him wearing “outside pants” in bed, either, which was probably the best indicator of how sick he was.

Flushing down the panic induced vomit, Stan stood and glared at his reflection while he rinsed his mouth out, gulping a few handfuls of water from the sink. He had to keep it together. He needed a plan. Okay. Get Kyle back in bed, check his temperature and blood sugar, go downstairs to fill up his water and feed Moose, go from there.

Kyle had curled up on the floor back in the bedroom, and Moose had the zoomies. Stan sighed.

“Dude, okay, let’s get up.”

“Moving sucks ass.”

“I know it does, babe, but the bed is better than the floor.”

“Quit being right,” Kyle mumbled, allowing himself to be helped back under the covers. Stan snagged his readers from the nightstand, flipping on the lamp and grabbing the thermometer too.

“Okay, melmë, let’s see.”

Kyle smiled a little. “You look like a dad.”

“I am a dad,” he reminded him. Even if he’d bemoaned needing reading glasses and his body getting softer with age, his sentimental side was happy he had made it this far in life, especially with Kyle at his side. “Our son is bouncing off the walls as we speak. Open.”

Down to 100.3, thank whoever the fuck was up there. Maybe he should be thanking Kyle’s God, not having any attachment to one of his own. When he’d first started AA and found that part of the whole thing was putting things in the hands of a higher power, he had posed the question of what to do if you weren’t particularly religious to his sponsor. Mark had said “hell, put your faith in the doorknob if you want. Got you in here, didn’t it?”

“What’s the damage?” Kyle inquired.

“Definitely better. You want to check your levels or can I?”

Kyle slowly opened his eyes. “I got it, sweetheart, you’ve been doing so much.”

“Because I want to.”

“I’m difficult.”

Stan brought Kyle’s hand up to his lips and kissed it. “It so isn’t your fault that you got sick, or that you hurt your knee, or that you have diabetes. In sickness and in health, right?” Kyle’s fond grin only grew, and Stan decided to let up on the overbearingness. He snatched Moose up quickly on the cat’s next lap around the room. “I’m filling your water and feeding the dragon, okay? Be right back.”

So he had sweat out most of the fever, it seemed like. Judging by how sticky he felt, Kyle was fairly certain he was over the worst. At least in terms of the fucking stomach flu. His leg was a different story.

It was dim in the bedroom with only a sliver of moonlight slipping through the window, and the soft light from the lamp, but he could feel that he’d aggravated his knee pretty bad. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. The cartilage felt like it was grinding when he shifted. Kyle groaned in frustration, debating trying to hop over to the closet for his brace, but deciding against it, because Stan would flip his lid if he saw him standing. And considering what his blood sugar was at, being vertical was a bad idea anyway.

Said husband returned to the room. “I come bearing gifts for the king!”

Dork. Freshly refilled water, a KMBS, sleeve of crackers. Stan presented the juice. “Your elixir, melda târ. And-“ he beelined for the top of the closet, clearly having read Kyle’s mind.

“Thank you, my most dutiful and trusted of knights.” Kyle let him secure the knee brace, watching as those careful, strong, gentle hands worked, as Stan leaned down to kiss his leg when he was done. His Stan. His sweet Sir Marshwalker.

“Oh, shit, dude, are you crying? Does it hurt that much?” Stan was up by his face again. Kyle shook his head.

“It’s not that; I just- I really fucking love you,” he sobbed.

“Aw, baby, come here.” Stan climbed into bed and wrapped around him again, avoiding touching his husband’s stomach or leg. A little jingle of Moose’s collar announced their boy’s return to the bedroom, a tiny *prrrt* as the cat settled back at Kyle’s side. “You’re not as warm as you were, Ky, I think you’re getting better. That’s good, my love, you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” Kyle murmured against him, damp eyelashes tickling Stan’s chest. “You still don’t have a shirt on.”

Stan laughed. So he had noticed. “You complaining?”

“You know I’m not.”

[sucker4sixx]

Raising hell

Pt:8

Plot: nikki turns and you see a side to him you thought was only reserved for people be hated

Warnings: fat shaming, body shaming, humiliation, vomit

You wake up still cuddled into nikkis cosy chest while he sleeps, you take the time to watch him, his handsome face showing peace that youve never quite seen him display before, it was a sunny day and you didnt have to play tonight.. it was seemed too good to be true.

Nikki wakes up 10 minutes later, rubbing his large hand over his face “hmm.. morning darlin” he says hoarsely, smiling down at you with a slightly puffy face from sleeping “morning nikki.. how did you sleep?” “Just fine.. just fine..” he sits up and looks around for his clothes, deciding wether or not to shove on his clothes from yesterday.

Once you are both up you decide to go down to breakfast but as soon as nikki sees his band sitting his attitude changes, he distances and straightens up, acting like he doesnt know your there. You sit on a table for two but watch as nikki loudly and ungraciously sits with his band, laughing and talking disruptively. You thought he was going to sit with you but you knew how much he wanted to keep you two on the downlow.

“Hey, whats with the fat chick anyway? What happened?” Vince asks loudly, wanting you to hear, nikki gulping nervously, knowing you could hear. “Just.. you know, tried to see how little her self respect could go and fucked the shame into her” he grins wide “and trust me.. her respect goes low, lower than i thought” your heart sinks completely “whats she like with no clothes on?” Tommy asks excitedly, nikki smiling so he can play off the situation “… fatter” the table laugh loudly and suddenly your plate doesnt look as good as it did so you leave, tears streaming down your face.

On your crying fit up to your hotel room you bump into stu “hey! Ive been meaning to talk to you about it you and nikki-“ “just shut the fuck up stu! No one cares!” You scream in his face, running to your hotel room. You shouldve listened to mel, maybe you were just a stupid little girl. Only an hour later your door was getting knocked and you could hear nikki urgently calling you from the other side.

“Babe.. baby just open the door.. please” you ignore him, thinking he would go away but he just tries the door handle more thinking it will change anything. You swing the door open “i am not your baby!” You point your finger in his face making him step back. “No, dont say that.. let me in we can talk about this” you scoff “about what? You calling me a fat bitch?”

“Babe i didnt call you a fat bitch-“

“you werent far off it!” He grabs your shoulders and forces himself in your room “you have to stop being so god damn sensitive!” He shouts and slams the door. “You are fat! Is it such a crime to point it out?!” He points to your belly, you look down and your size seems to grow by 1000 “im not fat! I only wear size 12!” He crosses his arms over his chest and you begin to cry, why does he care so much? Why is it such a big issue to him? “leave..” he quickly leaves, not wanting to deal with your tears.

When he leaves you hear his friends chuckling quietly in the hall way and noticed he had left a note on the floor, you pick it up and it reads “im sorry, they are behind this” it didnt change much, he still said it all and done it for his friends entertainment.

Two days later its time for the show, you arrive and hide into your dressing room instantly, not wanting anyone to see you. Your dressing room door knocks “hello? Who is it?” “Its nikki baby, i got us some snacks” you scoff “leave. Im not your baby.” He goes silent for a few seconds before you hear footsteps leaving your door. When it gets to your band preforming your not as energetic as usual and when it gets to snake eyed love you go to the side of the stage, nikki waiting beside your manager, you turn off the mic.

“Stu i dont wanna do the lap dance, im skipping it” stu shakes his head and nikki looks confused “no, you will do it. Your costing me money are you crazy?!” The wide man starts to get defensive and angry. “Nikki cmon” you dont even look at him, strutting back on stage with him.

“Hello!” You say to the crowd, smiling “so.. my friend nikki has been a very bad boy recently, very bad and i dont think he deserves the dance.. but, my manager told me to do it for the money so fuck it right?” The crowds cheering dies down alittle, its obvious your upset “sit.” You glare at nikki as he sits down, you park your ass right on his lap “lets hope i dont break your legs by being too fat” you whisper in his ear “right, start the music” you say into the mic, flipping round so your already facing nikki, grinding on him while gripping his hair with one hand. He frowns as he watches you knowing how much you hate him right now.

Once the song gets to the solo you move into nikkis ear “this is the last time this will happen.. i want nothing to do with you from now on” he shakes his head “no.. please dont say that” “i mean it.” You move back and his eyes are glassy as you continue to sing, his hands gripping and feeling your body to savour it once more.

When the song ends the crowd go crazy, you bow and leave the stage, ignoring stu as he screamed at you, mel trying to pull you aside, and nikki wanting to “talk things out” .You just keep walking faster and faster untill you clock back in and your alone, outside a night club. You walk in and within the next hour your feeling pretty drunk, shots and whiskey your go to.

Three hours later your drunkly stumbling around the hotel and get to your room, you look to nikkis room and decide “fuck it”

“Hello?” He opens the door sleepily, when he sees you his eyes wide “baby? Whats happened?” You scoff and stumble alittle “i wanted.. t-to.. tell you that..” you breathe heavily as you try to stay still, nikki helping you by holding your shoulders “y.. your mean.. and… “ you boak, needing to be sick. Nikki quickly runs you to his bathroom and ties your hair back “hey its okay..” he pats your back. “S-s.. stop.. being, so nice-“ you throw up in the toilet “where were you?” He asks, rubbing your back as you throw up “i-i.. dont know”

30 minutes later your no longer being sick and nikki washes your face and gives you water before helping you to his bed “n-no.. i wanna go.. to my room” your eyes flutter shut “no baby.. i need to keep an eye on you” he kisses your forehead and strokes your belly “am i really fat?” You begin to cry “no.. your curvy and i love your body i swear.. im so sorry” he turns his face away as if hes crying but your eyes are too heavy to stay up, falling asleep fast.

[cultofdixon]

To The End

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • What a way to say I love you • SFW/ANGST

He could picture it.

Every day he could.

The life he’s always wanted and with the girl standing right beside him.

Protected behind the walls of Alexandria. Finally getting her to be his girl. Settling down. Maybe a kid? Definitely a dog if one wiggles its way to their safe haven. Just growing old with her would be a dream come true.

But guess that’s just a dream, and their end was being met soon.

“Remind me how we got stuck in this situation?!”

“Stupid selfish ex-saviors tryin’ to survive by themselves.” Daryl snaps instantly as the two pressed up against a door holding off a herd of walkers the best that they could. “Can’t believe he ran”

“Typical. I get Rick being nice n all, but if it were up to me? All the saviors would’ve been dead by now. Negan included” Y/N winces instinctively when another thud pushed them forward slightly.

“Fuckin’ Negan. Fuckin’ Rick. Goddamn it. Can’t have anything nice”

“Tried…really fucking tried. Then Deanna was sketchy, then Negan came with his plague of killin’, now this calm before the storm just drives me fucking nuts…especially when the storm is right behind us” Y/N frowns feeling her feet slip a bit as she adjusts, feeling her shoulder bump against Daryl’s only for the tears to start forming. “Fuck. I can’t”

“Helps comin’. They’ll realize we’re gone longer than expected” He tried his best to reassure when they both know shits not going to go their way.

Say it.

Say it now or feel regret in your final breath.

SAY IT

“Y/N I know it ain’t perfect timing” Daryl squints to pressing his back firmly against the door after the adjustment. “But I can’t keep it to myself no longer”

“I swear these life n death situations get you to open up more Daryl” Y/N jokes with a short laugh followed as the tears continued to roll off her cheeks. “But please…don’t let that stop you”

“I’m in love with yea”

The shocked expression on Y/N’s face made Daryl’s anxiety get a hundred times worse.

“Daryl…”

“I should’ve said shit sooner. Hell! Rick gave me shit for not saying anythin’ back in the prison days” Daryl frowns forming fists. “Ive loved yea since I’ve first met yea. You were perfect even if you did fight me for a fuckin’ squirrel” her laugh was like music to his ears. “Never let any of the guys bug yea, respected the space you asked for when yea needed it, gift yea little trinkets I’d find on runs…I wish I said it sooner”

Y/N couldn’t help but smile through the tears as her heart ached. She thought if they survived this, she would be the first to say something. But given the hell they’re about to face the second one slips, she’s glad he finally said something.

“I don’t just let anybody take my catches” She smiles wiping her face against her shoulder of some of the tears that fell. “I’ve loved you since that very moment. You make me feel safe. Secured in a hell like this. Even in this very moment I’m glad I’m with you and not some stranger that would’ve left me for dead…”

The two stared at the other watching them cry over realizing they’ve waited so long for their ending. Y/N reaches one hand over for Daryl to instantly take it into his.

“I love you Daryl Dixon”

“I love you so much more Y/F/N Y/L/N”

And who woulda thought…at least they got some sort of ending. Daryl stopped leaning against the door and started running like hell with Y/N right beside him. Taking the risk of the herd flooding the facility. Leaving what they found behind.

He needs more time

She wants her future with him

No more running from that fear

They take what’s theirs

Even if the end draws near

[panlight]

Hi! I love your blog and your opinions so i've been thinking about some stuff. I don't know if you received this already and i'm sorry if you did. Ive been reading some fics, post BD canon, and thought about some stufff. Especially about nessie/jacob. I have no ideia how this will play out. Do you think the cullens will have to leave the town by the time nessie reach maturity? i think so, considering theyve been there for 8 years and carlisle will have to be what, 33?

If so, what will happen to jacob? he will tag along with nessie, of course, but what about his alpha duties? he will be far from his family for the next 80 years? that sounds so fucked up. i simply cannot imagine how stephanie thinks this is a good thing. nessie cant have children once she reaches maturity (even tho i DOUBT smeyer will leave her without children) so her child will have to turn into a vampire later? she wouldnt make ness/jacob lose their child. or shell make ness pregnant before she turns seven?

Anyways, another question: how do you think Edward (and bella and the cullens) will react to jacob/ness wedding and pregnancy? Some fics show edward pissed the fuck off but some hes just okay, having accepted the fate (he had 7 years to get over it). Also, i'm pretty sure he'll flip on jacob if they have sex before marriage and the thought of nessie being married at 7 years old terrifies me. i doubt they'd wait until marriage, tho. they are young and non mormon i mean, i'm sure smeyer will make them wait for marriage and have renesmee married AND knocked up before she reaches full maturity. but realistically, they wouldnt wait till marriage and i hope they wait long before marrying. what are your thoughts? how would edward, especially, react to marriage/pregnancy and pre marital sex? sorry for the long ask. i've been spiriling around twilight after some years hehe

The whole thing is just such a nightmare that I have to hope she "did not think it through" because the idea that she DID think it through and thought "yes this is great!" is even worse.

She HAS said that "the lovely thing about Jacob and Nessie relationship is that as long as he keeps phasing, he won't age." Which implies to me that a) she does intend for them to be a romantic couple in the future and b) she does intend for them both to be immortal.

The full maturity at 7 years feels so much like a "ugh I don't want to have to wait to write about her as a grown up so let's just skip ahead" sort of cheat to me, but again . . . did she think that through? The logic I've seen some fans apply is basically like, well different species reach maturity at different ages. A cat is an adult after about one year, while we think of humans becoming adults at around 18 years. Renesmee's not human, she's a hybrid and for her species adulthood is reached in 7 years so there's nothing 'bad' about it. But like . .. the optics? Terrible. And she's only been alive/on earth for seven years. She's only had seven years of life experience. That's . . . that's REALLY uncomfortable to think about. Physically she might be an adult, maybe even mentally in terms of brain development, but emotionally? Socially? Especially compared to Jacob's 20+ years of life experience at that point.

And given SM's questionable relationship with science and biology, I honestly kind of expect that she'll let Renesmee have children even after the seven years. I think that's the reason that female hybrids aren't venomous. That she's set THAT up to be like "oh they're not venomous . . . so they can get pregnant!" and Renesmee will be fertile until her eggs run out. But that's assuming that her reproductive system is anything like a human's and SM could fully just be like "oh it's not!!! she is fertile every 7 years and will always have twins" or whatever she invents (I think they will have twins because twins run in Jacob's family and while that's Not How That Works it seems like a set-up for super-amazing wolfpire hybrid twins who save the world).

In canon, Edward and Bella will probably be fine with it? SM sees this as a happy ending for Jacob (he gets his predestined soulmate) and a happy ending for Bella (she gets to keep her best friend around forever . . . as a son-in-law???) so I don't think she'll have them feel anything but normal parental feelings about seeing their little girl grow up and get married. She'll write something about Edward seeing the love in Jacob and Renesmee's minds and while Bella might be lowkey a little jealous she'll tell herself she's happy for them blah blah blah.

The headcanons of Renesmee rebelling or becoming evil or breaking the imprint are probably all more REALISTIC to what someone growing up in that nightmare of a situation would do, but I don't think that's what SM is imagining here at all. I think it will be about a girl who doesn't feel like she fits in, oh woe is me, a lonely hybrid. Nahuel will come back and there will be a love triangle with him and Jacob, because Nahuel is like her and understands, is the only male of her species and she's the only female who isn't his sister. But in the end she picks Jacob because "he's always been there for me . . . since the moment I was born" (BLECH) and they'll have amazing twins with powers that will somehow be able to stop the Volturi when they come back.

And yeah Jacob will be stuck living with the Cullens, or at least with Nessie, for the rest of forever. Maybe once Nessie's an adult they'll travel independently, but they are immortal and don't age, they can't stay in one place forever. Maaaaaybe in La Push if everyone's in on the secret, but canonically not everyone is. And how IS he supposed to be a good leader for his community if his #1 priority is being whatever Nessie, a half-vampire, needs? It's a huge conflict of interest and super unfair to him.

[sinclqir]

something?

warnings: smut, angst? idk?, unreciprocated feelings (but not really?)

papa emeritus iv x male reader

word count: no fkn clue

——

papas moans were loud, his hands gripping the sheets as his face was pressed against the covers. his back was arched as your hands gripped his hips, his paints were smudged on the bed as tears flowed down his face, not from pain, but from pure pleasure.

“s-sei così profondo! y-y/n!” papas voice was so broken, a mixture between a whine and a moan. with every thrust you gave to him, his cock rubbed against the bed, doubling the pleasure. he couldn’t get enough, but it was too much at the same time.

papa and you’s relationship was…complicated. this was a regular occurrence, fucking him ruthlessly at LEAST three times a week. you did have feelings for him, but he made it clear that he wasn’t interested in you that way. it was fine at first, just pure sex. aside from these interactions, he would barely speak to you, not sparing you a pacing glance. he was too busy flirting and messing around with other siblings of sin, it hurt. quite a bit. after every meetup, he would send you on your way, which only hurt more. after a while, it was just normal, the feelings for him faded away.

you started to talk to more siblings of sin, sleeping around more often. before papa, you were reserved, more shyer than anything. when he proposed the idea, you accepted, already having a crush on him. then when he showed he was only interested for the sex, the feelings died down, knowing your place.

papa noticed how you started to mess around more, a weird twinge of jealousy bubbling in his chest. he tried to suppress those feelings for you that started to come, not wanting to commit. but the way you talked to him, in and out of the bedroom, it made him feel like he was young again. he hated the look on your face whenever he told you to leave after a night of pleasure, he wanted nothing more than for you to stay with him, cuddle him to sleep. tonight, he wouldn’t do that, he wanted to see you in the afterglow, and whisper sweet nothings into your ear. he even stopped flirting with other siblings, only wanting you.

he snapped out of his thoughts as your cock hit his prostate, his eyes rolling back into his head as a moan rippled through his chest. you were the best he’s ever had, he was addicted, to not only your dick, but to you in general.

“i-i’m…im close, y/n,” papa whined, pushing back to meet your thrusts. your hair fell in front of your face, sweat dripping down your body. your hand laced into his hair, gripping harshly, “yeah? cum for me,” you groaned, feeling your own orgasm coming close.

with a few more hits to his prostate, papa came all over the sheets, his legs shaking wildly. his voice was gone at this point, but he managed to let out a raspy moan. you followed his release right after, cumming deep into him, painting his insides white. he panted, trying to catch his breath.

you already knew the drill at this point, pulling out of him and getting off the bed. papa whined at the loss, but was too much in a state of bliss to realize what was happening. he waited for you to check on him, but when you didn’t, he felt a pang of hurt. he flipped onto his back and looked at you, a complete mess. “y-y/n…wait-“ he breathed out. you were already buttoning your shirt back on when you heard his voice, “what?” you asked, still slightly out of breath. “where are you going, tesoro?” he asked softly, running his hand through his hair.

you looked at him with furrowed brows, “leaving.” you said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. you could see the flash of sadness go across his face, “y/n, you don’t have to go.” he said quietly.

then it came, those feelings that had died down for the man came rushing back, but the thought that he maybe wanted to go for round three whipped through your mind. you cleared your throat, “why do you want me to stay?” you asked, a bit harsher than you intended. papa flinched at your use of tone, “i-i just…want you to s-stay is all,” he lied. he wanted to tell you how much you meant to him, how he only wanted you.

you couldn’t help yourself, making papa feel bad made you feel like shit. you stopped buttoning your shirt, it halfway done as you walked over to him. you grabbed some tissues from his bedside table and cleaned his stomach, papa didn’t question it. you cleaned away the mixture of his and your cum, and sweat off his body. he closed his eyes, feeling sleepy now. “stay? please…” papa whispered, it sounded so sweet and those words were what you always wanted to hear. you nodded and took off your shirt again, stripping down to your boxers and laying down beside him. you didn’t dare to cuddle him, but when he snuggled closely to your side, you melted and wrapped your arm around him, holding him close.

he hummed in delight, laying his head on your chest. “y/n…i-…” the words died in his throat, nerves creeping into his being. your hand came up to play with his hair, and his anxiety faded away, “i love you.” he said, his voice barely audible. you froze, did he just say that? “really? you’re not playing with me?” you asked, hesitant to believe him. “y-yes, caro. i’m sorry i haven’t said it sooner…i was….nervous.” papa said, keeping his face away from yours incase your reaction was one he didn’t want. “papa…i’ve been waiting for you to say that.” he lifted his head up and looked at you, his eyes wide as a blush was spread across his face. (his paints were nearly gone at this point.) “really? you mean it, s-si?” he asked, looking for confirmation in your eyes. you smiled at his reaction and nodded your head, “si, i love you too.” and with that, you leaned in and kissed him softly.

papa was beaming, kissing your back just as softly but with his adrenaline, it was a bit more forceful. you chuckled along his lips and pulled back, resting your foreheads together. he kissed your cheek and laid his head back down on your chest, also giving it a kiss as well.

from that night on, it was just you two. the only person for eachother, soulmates.