#anyone who understands both halves of this post is now my favorite

[blahaj-blastin]

About to target two very niche fandoms here, but when I hear “heavyset man in black clothing, who demanded I identify myself while pressing a gun against the back of my head” in TMAGP7 I only see General John MacNamara.

[toastandjamie]

So I wanted to elaborate on the Mat/Elayne Freyja/Odin parallel, so here’s that essay. For the sake of keeping this post semi coherent any off topic but vaguely relevant ramblings will be at the bottom of the post.

To start I was surprised to find out that while the obvious parallels between Mat/Odin and Perrin/Thor are often noted I haven’t seen anyone mention how Elayne is Freyja, so I’ll start by talking about those similarities. Freyja is a goddess of love and fertility as well as a goddess of death and war, and of course, of the magic practice of Seidhr which I covered in my precious Mat post. Freyja much like Elayne is a twin, having a twin brother(and masculine form) Freyr, the god of peace, fertility and prosperity. Freyr also has a horse cult, for some reason. Freyja of course is the second patron god of Seidhr sharing the role with Odin but she fulfills the more traditional and feminine aspects in a more socially conventional manner. Her husband, is often absent resulting in a particular myth of her crying ‘red-gold’ tears in his absence, her husband, Odr’s name actually means frenzied madness so shout out Rand. Freyja is also often depicted with having red-gold hair like everyone’s favorite Trakkand. She’s also associated with cats and she’s sometimes connected to the Phrygian goddess Cybele, who instead of a chariots drawn by cats has a chariot drawn by lions. Of course the Cybele/Freyja connection is debatable but I wanted to point it out for the lion connection.

Now onto the fun part, Freyja/Elayne and Mat/Odin, let’s talk about that dynamic. So if you didn’t notice Seidhr isn’t the only domain Freyja and Odin share, they’re both also gods of war and death, specifically they’re both gods of glorious death on the field of battle. Half of the slain are taken by Odin to Valahalla and the other half to Freyja’s realm Folkvangr. Now this might be a stretch but the sharing of the dead between Odin and Freyja reminds me of the sharing of The Band and the Dragons between Mat and Elayne in ToM and AMoL. Once again that’s a bit of a stretch but I wanted to point it out. Though I think the Band of The Red Hand is definitely a reference to Odin leading a procession of fallen warriors and the fact that Elayne gets shared custody is something I find very interesting in terms of this parallel.

Odin and Freyja are also both connected to the Valkyries for the above reasons. I think it’s safe to say that Brigitte is a Valkyrie, a spirit of a female warrior who comes to lead the dead to Valhalla and Folkvangr respectively. The fact that Brigitte bonded to both Mat and Elayne(through the horn and through the Warder bond respectively) is something I think proves this connection. Yada yada the Horn of Valere and the Heroes of the Horn are the Wild Hunt which in some stories is led by Odin with a Valkyrie at his side, Mat and Brigitte yada yada.

Also depending on who you ask Freyja is often conflated with Odin’s wife Frigg and Odin with Freyja’s husband Odr so uh- Matlayne

Now how do these connections inform Mat and Elayne’s dynamic. Well for one it explains why they are so heavily linked to eachother, from Mat’s vague connection to Manethran’s King Aemon and Elayne LITERALLY being the Rose of The Sun to Mat and Elayne sharing their weapons of mass destruction with eachother, the two spend a great deal of time with eachother and working together. Much like Odin and Freyja they compliment eachother and work together in their respective domains, whether that’s being a soldier and his Queen or two powerful people sharing battle earned death while accompanied by a woman warrior spirit and legendary procession of long dead heroes. They are complimentary halves and foils to eachother, they of course clash because they are forced to share space(share domains) but in the end they come to an understanding and make eachother stronger through their differences and similarities.

Okay okay tangent time, so I’m really insane about Mat/Elayne’s whole relationship and how Elayne is a thematic character foil to Tuon. Like Elayne is the Rose of the Sun and Tuon is the Daughter of the Nine Moons. The thematic relevance of Mat choosing to stay in Ebou Dar with Tuon vs. taking Elayne’s contract to become an Andoran general, choosing the Moon over the Sun. All I’m saying is that RJ robbed us of the potential Mat/Elayne/Tuon love triangle that would’ve shot and killed me. The Themes, The Character Foils, The DRAMA

Next tangent has nothing to do with Elayne really but was inspired by the previous tangent. So the Seanchen are represented by the night but they are also symbols of death right? Now one of Tuon’s names is Kore which is an epitaph of Persephone and with the death connection and the kidnapping that brings an obvious parallel to the myth of Hades and Persephone. But I’d argue that the story themes put Tuon in the role of Hades rather than Persephone while Mat takes Persephone’s role. I mean wed to Hades(Tuon) and brought into the underworld(Seanchen) only to become trapped there by eating a pomegranate(or accidentally starting a foreign marriage ceremony) able to return home to the land of the living(Andor) but only for short periods of time, all while becoming more than she once was as the Queen of the Underworld(Prince of Ravens). Anyways I have FEELINGS about Mat Cauthon.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

I like the idea more that their human halves are underdeveloped compared to their ghost halves in various ways, a theory that I feel their designs support!

Adam - physically a ghost and human at the same time, being easily the most tangible of the clones. (Insert d20 Kristen becoming flesh and spirit in one reference, anyone who hasn't seen sophomore year yet pretend you didn't read that and anyone unfamiliar with d20 sorry for not making any sense) but mentally? Nah that's very rudimentary human intellect, just barely passing the threshold necessary to be considered a person.

Ashton is definitely smug, silly, and as middle children often are in order to stand out is exceptional in one particular way which is his superior intellect to his fellow triplets. Easily the smartest of the three as displayed by his innate understanding of how putting on a bedsheet makes you look more like a "classic" ghost, (Because do you really think Vlad explained anything to these guys other than their mission?) Not that it takes that high intelligence to understand how his human half is underdeveloped - he ain't got no skin! Papyrus looking ass bitch over here, he's probably got body image issues too which is what the sheet is actually for. ;-;

Now Bob got the shortest end of the stick, fittingly enough, with his physical human half being practically non existent leaving him as just loose ectoplasm with nothing solid to hold it together and his mental human half isn't too far behind. Yknow how I said Adam just barely passes the threshold for counting as a person? Yeah well, he's still doing better than Bob, there's a reason he's named after a type of house cat. The hissing and scratching is just about his only form of communication as he lack both the vocal chords and brain capacity to do much else to express emotions. And he really only feels one in this sorry, miserable state of existence. Anger. That's right folks, this incredible little creature, this freak of nature that simply should not be and has no logical way of surviving is holding itself together through sheer fucking spite. Good for them.

I think your observation on Adam looking a lot like Jack and Vlad having feelings about it is spot on and I also really like the idea of Adam being as smart as the monster his name is inspired by, though I do agree that it doesn't hold up canonically... but!

Let's talk about these headcanoned versions of the clones post ecto dejecto:

Once again starting with the elder, Adam gets to have a ghost half and a human half, already being the closest to a stable clone and gets a mental boost along with it.

His human half looks a lot like a mix of Jack and Vlad, all shock white hair and bright blue eyes, and with his newly improved and quite impressive intellect (not as much as Ashton's as he now has time to learn more, but still on par with pre dejecto Ashton) along with his already impressive strength well... it's safe to say Vlad has all sorts of feelings about this. (Forver pushing my Jackvlad agenda, these bitches messy) in addition to all this, having always been Vlad's least favorite but also the most resilient, he had long since been his father's guine pig when it came to tempering with the genetic sequence of their template's ectoplasm and as such, his core is not ice but lightning.

Next is Ashton, who's new upgrades are a give and take, literally. He gives up some fundamental ghost abilities like his intangiblity and invisibility, but he gains a full body and a real human half. His ghost half retains his old color scheme, glowing neon ecto green hair and blood red eyes, with a neat looking black skin tight outfit.

Which, by the rules of color invertion which we as a fandom have collectively imposed on all halfas, his human half has Jack's blue eyes and Maddie's auburn hair. He can fly and see through things, and I think he probably has better access to the ice aspect of his powers than any of the clones, Dani included, (especially as I kinda headcanon her as actually having a water core due to being able to melt on command post dejecto unless im misrembering that) and he definitely has the ghost sense by extension of having an ice core. He's the clone who could most easily pass for Jazz and Danny's actual sibling in his human form.

Finally, you have the youngest triplet, being the worst of the batch Bob requires not only an ecto dejecto to stabilize their tiny form but also more ectoplasm in their diet to help them grow and support the human body that's slowly generating, and yet another DNA sample from a full human to help complete the missing bits of the human half. Jazz is more than happy to volunteer her DNA to save her clone sibling and skulker ends up hunting them for sport which for once, is both for his own fun as well as his target's who appreciates the practice and the opportunity to unleash all their growing rage and test their developing skills, and he actually end up bonding with the little scamp that rather than try to take his pelt as a prize he bring him home to his haunt and introduces him to Ember, who instantly adopts the feral cat of a growing ghost boy and proceeds to smother him in love.

Youngblood even comes by to babysit when the couple wants to have a date night which, at first the kid ghost hated the idea of babysitting as he saw it as adult responsibilities, but when he realized it was just an excuse to play with a new friend he was ecstatic! He taught Bob all his favorite tricks, including ghost speak as Youngblood always appreciated how silly and weird it sounds to non ectos, like a bunch of incoherent oohs and ahs. Eventually, as Bob grew into their new form, they were a mix of all the DNA that made them up and all the ectoplasm they had absorbed via regular contact with other ghosts. They were playful and cheery like Youngblood, along with being taught ghost speak by their babysitter Ember had helped them work on their ghostly wail and they often sang back up vocals in her songs (the one she wrote for her GZ exclusive concerts which weren't meant to hypnotize anyone and were also written and preformed in ghost speak), his ghost form had also changed quite a bit to reflect his developing human one, and he looked as tho he and Ember could be mother and son in the after life, all flowing blue hair and bloody red eyes. They had Skulker's ferocity for sure, although that had been true even before all the growing pains, but they had grown into their viciousness with a stamina to back it up, like a true persistence predator. Their human half looked a lot like an androgynous Jazz, they still had Danny's unmistakably recognizable eyebrows, but their orange hair and aqua eyes made them look more a clone of Jazz than of Danny. They also had Jazz's intuition when it came to empathy and emotional intelligence, and with all the aforementioned traits you can see how they've become. If their siblings are high and higher int, then they're high wis. They also have Danny's love of one liners tho, especially in human form although even with all that work, their vocal chords are still more suited for their ghostly speak and ghostly wail, so they execute their quips through sign.It is unclear what kind of core they have as they display no abilities that are core specific, but it's possible that they're still just classified as a sprite despite having grown in size and become a halfa like their siblings, and so their ghost half isn't much stronger than it used to be.

(Anyway, let's play "can you tell who Dandy's clear favorite is?!?" Come on, you get three guesses!!)

Well, that's all I got for now, let me know if you want yet even more of the adventures of the clone sibs, perhaps with guest appearance by their papa Vlad and how they all play into his redemption arc!

Not Enough Survived Clones Content Out Here, Especially Since It's Technically Canon....

According to the wiki:

"Dani and the other clones can be seen in Phantom Planet."

Now I know how most of this fandom feels about Phantom Planet but whether or not you accept any of it as canon, the concept of the clones surviving is wonderful regardless and deserves to be explored...

So I gave them names!

So let's start with Fentonstein over here (and yes, I'm aware he'd technically be Fentonstein's monster by the nature of that reference, do not start this with me, commenter I made up in my head!)

Anyway, I believe I made the name pretty obvious, one of the names given to Frankenstein's monster is Adam and it was a whole lot better than calling him Prometheous Plasmius although lbr, Vlad would absolutely be that extra. Also yes, the clones did not have the arc that Dani did so I don't think they ever stopped thinking about Vlad as their father, sad as that may be.

Then we have - Holyshit it's lord death man! And I thought this wasn't gonna be a batpham crossover!!

So why Ashton? Well Ashes, for one, both for his dark, almost burnt looking bones and for the death symbolism of it, and ton from skeleton, but also I just think it suits him? As much as a glowing green skelton can look like an anything, he looks like an Ashton to me, yknow?

And finally, we have Bob.

I don't have a joke for him, he's just Bob. Like, no lie I've had him named that in my head for years, while the other two I'd only managed to name just five minutes ago, istg.

So, why Bob? Easy. Because they made him fairy like. A pixie, one might say.

And for that reason alone I always called him Pixie Bob, which eventually got shortened to Bob.

Anyway, if anyone is interested I might write some more clone lore because I love the idea of giving these idiots individual and interconnected arcs.

[alexshakestheworld]

Fics Rec

Below are some of my favorite fanfics of all times. Most of them would probably be from AO3 (Archive of Our Own ) but sometimes I scout for fics outside of AO3 as well, if I find something worth reading I would put it here too.

I do read fanfics from multiple fandoms but I would make sure to include a tag so that you can know if there is any fic about your OTP in my list.

❤️Spirk (Star Trek: Spock x Jim Kirk): my favorite pairing of all times, though I prefer the AOS version to the TOS. I have read these fanfics so long ago that I can’t remember the content (so I apologize for the lack of my own comment/review) but if I bookmarked them they must have been good enough lol

Once Upon a Time (A Fairy-Tale Love Story) (by littlebirdtold): 47,461 words/6 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: In a universe with no Federation, where First COntact never happened, Jim Kirk is your average popular guy. On Christmas Eve, thanks to a series of strange events, Jim finds himself in a parallel universe where the Milky Way is under the control of an alien race and ends up as a servant in the residence of the Royal House of Vulcan. As he starts adapting to his new life, Jim’s curiosity fucks everything up - but hey, Vulcans shouldn’t have told him that he isn’t allowed to enter this wing of the palace; Jim has never been good at following rules. Or, this is the story of how Jim Kirk became a Princess (“Prince Consort, Bones!”) of the United Planets of Vulcan Kingdom.

Honestly, go read every single one of littlebirdtold’s fanfics. He/she/they are incredible and I’m still waiting for his/her/their comeback.

In the Shadows (by scifishipper): 25,202 words/4 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Accused of treason and stranded on Vulcan, Cadet Jim Kirk is offered a solution to his problems: bond with Ambassador Sarek’s son, someone he has never met. When he finally meets his betrothed at the ceremony, the Vulcan’s face is disfigured by cruel scars. Now, penniless and trapped, Jim finds himself committed to a reclusive stranger with a dark past. Has he sealed his fate forever or is there hope for the two of them to find love?

A sequence that you never learned (by annataylor): 64,624 words/14 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: When Jim gets it in his head to adopt an eight year old Vulcan, Spock presents a logical solution to the issue of Jim’s humanity: marriage to a Vulcan citizen

Logical Erotics (by EntreNous): 63,458 words/12 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Just returned from a difficult space mission and about to begin teaching at Starfleet Academy, Spock chooses a logical way to relieve stress: a sexual encounter with someone he’ll never meet again. But when Spock discovers his partner of one night is Jim Kirk, a promising new cadet at Starfleet he’s torn between his rational decision to avoid intimate relationships and his increasing fascination with Jim. As Spcok’s normally orderly life starts to spin out of control, will his obsession with Jim prove his salvation or his undoing?

The Vulcan Heart (by obsidienne): 110,110 words/15 chapter  

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Where two halves make a whole...eventually. (Post-STID

I remembered that my friend recommended this fic to me and I was a bit hesitant at that time because I have never read anything this long. But it turned out to be such a great fic that I appreciated his recommendation every day.

Unexpected (by foreverandeveralone): 10,339 words/8 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Cadet Jim Kirk doesn’t understand why everyone who is not nice to him always has bad consequences. Basically, Jim doesn’t know he is dating the Vulcan version of Sylar, who never forgives anyone who does bad things to his human.

Interesting fic if you love both Star Trek and Heroes.

The Door (by Pouxin): 77,118 words/6 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Spock and Jim both have their doors. Jim wants his to be open. Spock wants his to be closed. An alternative STID things. With more literature. And esoteric faffing. And sex.

Kicked From Inside (by Stella_Notecor): 32,246 words/18 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Drugged by aliens with an aphrodisiac that impregnates males is NOT how Jim Kirk imagined falling into bed with his first mate. That’s exactly how it happens though, and dealing with the consequences - including an angry girlfriend, a pointy-eared baby, and a chief-medical-officer who’s against the whole thing - will force Jim and Spock together, whether they like it or not.

My Golden Sun/Kin-Kur Las’hark T’nash-Veh (by giddytf2): 123,262 words/30 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Mpreg

Summary: When Jim feels thet first gush of slick soaking down the inner seam of his pants, he shuts his eyes and turns his face away from Spock towards the mottled-stone wall of their solitary cell. Spock is staring at him. Spock has no idea what’s just happened, what’s just begun. Spock has no idea that their situation is about to get so much worse. Fuck, Jim thinks, curling up into a ball of bruises and ragged gold, his arms quivering and clutching his bent legs. Fuck my life for being a goddamn Omega.

(Or, a Star Trek: AOS story post-Into Darkness in a universe where both Alpha/Beta/Omega gender dynamics and pon farr exist, with Jim being an Omega going into heat and Spock experiencing his first pon farr while trapped in a cell with Jim. Oh my.

Time of Need (by sunshine (sunshinepiveh)): 33, 669 words/25 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Spock’s pon farr comes early due to the destruction of Vulcan. Nyota is unable to cope with the stark brutality she finds as reality hits home. The captain will have to take necessary actions.  

Weekend Lover (by ValiantBarnes (Cimila)): 30,017 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: The one night stand Jim Kirk has with the Vulcan passing through Riverside is a welcome break from the monotony. It’s good, very good, but so fucking weird Jim’s sure he’s never gonna forget it. He’s not quite expecting to run into Spock again in san Francisco. A second one night stand turns into a weekend, turns into a lot of weekends, turns into Bones joking that he’s living half his week at Spock’s apartment. But! But, and this is very important: they’re not dating. What also turns out to be important is Spock’s job, which Jim never bothered getting the details of. Starfleet Academy Instructor and cadet?... Less fine.

❤️ Buddie (911 TV Show: Evan “Buck” Buckley x Eddie Diaz): I finally had the gut to read Buddie fics and now I’m totally hooked. Definitely belongs to my top 5 pairings now.

Far away (from the one that i love) (by woodchoc_magnum): 49,279 words/4 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: In which Buck moved to Chicago with Taylor after Eddie left the 118, and Eddie - with the support of the Firefam - heads east to bring him home. 

One of my favorite fics by my favorite Buddie author. Read anything by woodchoc_magnum and you will not be disappointed.

Snug (by mansikka): 14,000 words/3 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: He needs to be comfortable, Eddie needs softness and coziness and warmth. He needs Buck too, both in the way he always needs his best friend, and in a strange new way as well. But what does that mean?In which, Eddie presents as an omega for the first time, Buck is a doting alpha, and together they prepare for and get through Eddie's first heat.

Disclaimer: ABO universe. 

Boys of summer (by woodchoc_magnum): 47,637 words/4 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: In which Buck takes Eddie on a summer road trip through the Sierra Nevada Mountains, and they fall head over heels in love with each other.

Play me like a fiddle (by diazsdimples): 34,397 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Eddie plays the French Horn for the Los Angeles Philharmonic and is told about the wonderful new cello soloist playing with them for this concert. He sounds like a pretentious asshole and Eddie vows not to like him. In walks Evan Buckley, cellist from New York and soloist for this concert. Eddie quickly realises he's in trouble as the man immediately casts a spell on him, turning Eddie into a blushing mess. Can he put aside his feelings for Buck long enough to remain a professional and get through this week without making any poor decisions? (Spoiler Alert: he cannot)

Disclaimer: Alternative Universe - Musicians

I love the way you spoil me, baby (by rosebuddiekin): 33,819 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: “I, uh, I was actually at that coffee shop to meet with someone else. You see, for the past few years, I’ve been a sugar daddy on a site that connects people looking for similar things. I was supposed to meet with a prospective baby that day, but then I saw you. And I felt drawn to you, so I messaged the guy I was supposed to be seeing and told him I had to cancel. I just, I thought you should know. That I should be upfront about it from the start.”Eddie’s fork drops to his plate, making a small clatter. He can feel that his mouth is agape. He’s very glad he hadn’t taken another bite or sip of anything while Buck spoke. Because what the actual fuck? Buck… is a sugar daddy. OR: Buck is a sugar daddy who wants to spoil Eddie rotten and take care of everything for him. Eddie has never had that sort of relationship but is willing to give it a try. There is plenty of adventure along the way.

Disclaimer: Alternative Universe - Rich BuckOne of my favorite Alternative Universe fics. 

(I don’t want) no one else (by captain_wolf): 18,530 words/2 chapter

Status: Complete

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Snapshots of their life together before and after Eddie works up the courage to tell Buck that he’s Christopher’s father. He gets there. Eventually. Or… Eddie is 20 and on a military base in the Middle East when he meets a 19 year old Navy Seal. He has big news to share when they find each other seven years later.

Disclaimer: ABO universe. 

If You Said I Do I Would Too (by giselleslash): 5,894 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: General Audiences

Summary: Eddie starts telling people Buck’s his husband to get out of annoying flirting situations on calls.Buck starts to like it a little too much.

No Sight For Heart Eyes (by znks): 20,593 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: “Buck, Karen, and Eddie stayed on the couch and talked while the kids settled on the floor to draw. It all felt so wonderfully normal that Eddie found himself forgetting that he hadn’t just closed his eyes in serenity as he leaned against Buck. That’s what made the spell breaking so painful.“Dad! Look! I drew the firetru- Oh, wait, it’s okay you can see it when you’re all better!” Christopher said it so cheerfully, not even hesitating before going back to swapping out pens with Denny. But Eddie felt it like a shot to the chest.He couldn’t see his son’s drawings. Buck and Karen had barely paused in the conversation, but Eddie could hear how strained it became, both of them obviously knowing exactly how heartbreaking the moment had been. Buck’s arm wrapped more tightly around Eddie’s waist, chin resting on his shoulder. ”losing your sight for a week sucks but at least eddie has buck to guide him through his healing or at least through his own house

Accidental Sugar Baby (by Sonayesul): 9,154 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: “Hen made a joke that I was Buck’s sugar baby.” Eddie said and then waved his hand around a bit, trying to think of some sort of explanation, deflection, but he fell short.“Sugar baby!” Jee-Yun babbles and Eddie flushes even more as Maddie smiles at her.“Yes! That’s what Eddie is!” She says and Eddie fumbles over his words.“Maddie!” He says, in that similar scandalised tone he had when Hen had first brought it up. Or the fic where Eddie and Buck realise some things and talk a lot about their feelings.

The mark they saw on my collarbone (by stockholm_syndrom): 27,656 words/3 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: After months of agonizing about how to tell his team that he was an omega, the truth came out on a regular Tuesday afternoon. Chimney was showing them an ultrasound a victim from an accident a few weeks back had sent him, thanking Chim for his help saving his girlfriend and unborn child.“They are the size of a peanut right now, just this small.” Buck was explaining to Christopher, fingers an inch apart.“Whoa! Was I ever that small, dad?” Chris asked, looking up at Eddie, “Back when I was in your tummy?” He added, placing a hand on Eddie's stomach.Eddie could hear the sharp intakes of breath, but he kept his eyes on Chris, placing a hand on top of his son’s and answering “Yeah bud, back when you were living right here.” He forced himself to be brave then, taking a deep breath and holding on to his son’s hand, he looked up at the others. Both Chim and Buck looked shocked. Buck had his hand raised towards him as if he too, was going to place it on Eddie's stomach.

Disclaimer: ABO universe.

Deep inside a gold mine (by marviless): 8,470 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: in which eddie is in love and a bit clingy about it.

Just a really soft and fluff fic. 

Hinged (by TazzySnow): 20,373 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: He's drunk. He's in bed. He had a bad date. Buck is somewhere in the house.It's a horrible time to open Hinge. He passes profile after profile, no one catching his eye. He can't even be sure why he's on there until he finds it. Him. He finds him. Buck. Or Eddie and Buck match on a dating app.

Lately I’ve Been Good (You Know I’ve Actually Been Great) (by carpediaz): 12,936 words/1 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: The one where Shannon convinces Eddie to sign up for Tinder, where he meets Buck 1.0. Companion fic for 'Tell Me It's Okay To Be Happy Now (Because I'm Happy Now)

❤️HotchReid (Criminal Minds: Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid): unpopular pairing but they are definitely in my top 5 pairings for sure

Don’t Ever Look Back (by kadeeleigh): 15,848 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: While on a case in California, Hotch and Reid’s secret angers Morgan

This fic features a nice amount of case investigation content, an extremely protective and slightly irrational Morgan, and a remarkably sexy and confident Dr. Spencer Reid.

Arranged Marriage (by VincentMeoblinn): 18,196 words/6 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: When Reid decides to leave the BAU due to his painful crush on Hotchner, the man proposes an extreme way to avoid him leaving or them breaking the fraternization rules - by proposing

A marriage-before-romance fic. Slightly unconventional plot and relationship development (but it is fiction after all so no big deal) but generally cute.

Convergence (by Chestnut_NOLA): 33,232 words/10 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Dr. Spencer Reid, newest addition to the BAU has been dreaming of art and murder. In denial that his telepathy has returned, Spencer must work with his team and his boss Sentinel Aaron Hotchner to find the Unsub. Will love help Spencer control his gift or will the darkness in his mind destroy not only himself, but Aaron as well?

It is the second and my favorite fic in the Transference series. If you are into the fantasy genre, Sentinel/Guide bond to be specific, I highly recommend this one.  

Healing Touch (by Rivermoon 1970): 21,981 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Sexual Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Mpreg

Summary: Spencer has been watching his Alpha for a while and knows something is wrong. When Aaron collapses during a case the whole team worries. What they find out about his marriage to Haley will shock all of them and when Spencer is asked to help Aaron with his recovery how will their friendship change?

The abuse part is rather brief mentioned than thoroughly described, so do not worry too much (I can’t stand extreme angst). Nice relationship development. If you like Omegaverse, give this fic a try.

Take Me Home, Country Road (by wednesdays___child): 8,698 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Aaron gets a call that his mother is not well. She wants her eldest son to bring home the pretty young doctor he’s been dating. The problem is that Aaron has failed to tell his family that the pretty young doctor is a colleague...and male

A fluff fic at its core. Cute happy ending. My to-go fic when I want to read something short and light before bed.

Lightning Only Strikes Once...Maybe Twice (by Dazeventura6): 16,433 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: While on a custodial interview Aaron and Spencer are stuck in a time loop. Can they break it? Or will they be stuck forever?

Set after the Hardwick incident. The content is something that I wish it happened in the series. A much needed fix-it fic.

Mine (by non_andare): 6,115 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Hotch has never noticed Reid before; he’s an inconspicuous Omega who naturally submits and Hotch likes his Omegas to have fire. Then Spencer starts dating another Alpha and all Hotch can think is one word. Mine.

Reid/OC is briefly mentioned but the fic is mainly about Hotch/Reid. Fluff with a bit of angst but eventually happy ending. Jealous Hotch and shy Reid is a nice combo tbh.

Criminal Bonds (by VincentMeoblinn): 26,107 words/13 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Child Death

Summary: Reid was framed for embezzlement a year ago. Hotchner pleaded guilty to several murders. They meet in prison where reid is regularly abused by the stronger inmates until Hotch takes him under his wing

Alternate Universe where Reid is not a part of the BAU. Prison romance. Slight twist at the end but ultimately a happy ending (in my opinion)

Wolf Moon (by Ahmose_Inarus): 117,736 words/34 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Alpha Werewolf Aaron Hotchner is far from pleased when Spencer Reid joins the team...The presence of the young werewolf is not welcome...but when Hotch learns that Spencer Reid was raised by a human mother after being abandoned by his werewolf father, he takes him under his wing. And perhaps he has found more than a friend in the younger wolf...But there’s an Alpha Female in the territory who is far from please...she’s had her eyes on Aaron Hotchner for a long time, and won’t let anyone stand in her way

An Omegaverse story. A bit long but worth every minute. The relationship between Hotch and Reid is so cute that it can take my frustration (and anger) against the antagonist away.

The Librarian and the Dad (by DarkJediQueen): 9,039 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating; Explicit

Summary: It started out as a little crush. Then it became so much more.

Cute. Cute. Super cute. Part 12 of the A Universe of Meetings series, which include multiple Alternate Universe stories. Check out the whole series if you are into Alternate Universe.

Solace (by Lady Angel (dameange)): 4,701 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: A Hotchner/Reid rewrite of The Angel Maker episode

Again, a fix-it fic I would like to actually happen.

Dr. Reid and Agent Hotchner (by E_Ng714): 21,013 words/14 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: The BAU has hit a rocky patch, and appears to be falling apart. There is something going on with Hotch, but no one can figure it out. Cruz orders all of them to undergo psychiatric evaluation. Dr. Reid’s presence isn’t welcome by Aaron, at least not at first.

Alternate Universe story. They are both slightly out-of-character but not too annoying. Hate to love. A bit of angst but eventually happy ending.

Forgive Me For All I Could Not Become (by DegrassiFanatic): 105,975 words/20 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences (there’s sex scenes though lol)

Summary: In which Reid has always been good at hiding things. He hid his father’s departure and his mother’s illness from social services. He hid his addiction from his team. He hid his sexuality from the world. He hid his inappropriate feelings from his boss. That is until he’s bleeding out in Hotch’s arms, in an abandoned church, in Oklahoma. From there on out, Hotch and Reid learn to make a complete mess out of each other.

Definitely in my top 10 HotchReid fanfics. I didn’t expect much when I started because I usually don’t read over-100k-word-Teen and Up Audiences-fics but this one turned out to be perfect and it literally saved me from a rough week.

A Different Kind of Solitude (by kyrdwyn): 15 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: NC-17/FRAO (For Adults Only)

Summary: When Aaron and Spencer are trapped together by an unsub, things change between them while the team searches for their lost friends.

It is said “trapped by an unsub” but honestly the situation is not that bad. I tend to think in a positive way that this is a chance for HotchReid to get together. Pretty cute and domestic fic actually.

Home you know (by jetplane): 14,030 words/11 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: When Reid is diagnosed with cancer, he finds himself relying on Hotch for care and support. But spending so much time together forces each man to confront the feelings he has for the other, and it’s only a matter of time before their friendship evolves into something more.  

Go Home, Omega (by goobzoop)

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, mean Hotch

Summary: Pretty much Hotch is bigoted about Omegas and Reid is let on the team cause he’s a genius, which Hotch hates, but then Reid learns to stand up for himself cause he’s super kickass and sweet and deserves the world

Oneiroi and Hephaestus (by Lady Angel (dameange)): 31,231 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: What if Reid was one of the Yellow-eyed demon’s special children?

If you like both Supernatural and Criminal Minds, this crossover fic is one to go for.

Come Undone (by EloquentDossier): 77,180 words/22 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: When Spencer Reid forgot to take his suppressants two mornings in a row, it really shouldn’t have been a big deal. He had them in his bag at the hotel, and as long as he took one that evening, he’d be fine. What he couldn;t have prepared for, however, was the lab the latest victim worked at going into an at least twenty-four-hour-lockdown while he was in it. When Aaron Hotchner was asked to aid his subordinate through what would otherwise be an agonizing heat, he’d had several reservations, one of which had been the consent issue: Omegas couldn’t legally consent to sex during heat unless it was twenty-four hours in advance. With every concern rebutted logically (because of course the Bureau had an Agent Consent form in case of emergencies), he finally agreed. Of all the possible repercussions, however, neither man expected the one they received.

Or that time no one expected the Alpha to accidentally bond to the Omega while the Omega remained unaffected.

Cursed (by Black_Lotus): 60,254 words/20 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Centuries ago Vasile Stolojan, the bastard son of Vlad the impaler, was cursed to be a Vampire. Many years later he has a new name, Aaron Hotchner, and a curator job at a prestigious museum in America but the pain he feels for his lost love remains, until he meets the new Docent, Spencer Reid, who looks exactly like his lover. Is it possible that after six hundred years the man he loves has been reincarnated?

I LOVE this fic.

Yours (by NimueOfTheNorth): 17,232 words/6 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Spencer knew what he wanted in a relationship, and after years it looked like he found everything he dreamed of in Aaron. Now; if only Aaron’s past experiences and guilt complex wouldn’t get in the way.

❤️Niam (One Direction: Liam Payne x Niall Horan): while everybody is going crazy for Stylinson and Ziam, here I am rooting for Niam lol

Break my fall (by niamcuddles): 147,428 words/15 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Being a police officer was never an easy job, Liam wouldn’t have imagined that it’d bring someone like Niall into his life and that they could ever grow so close under these circumstances. If they only would’ve known who the guy was that giving them so many sleepless nights.

With Your Love (by brainstorm): 57,448 words/8 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: Liam’s life was nothing like a normal twenty-two year old guy. Raising a kid on his own was probably the hardest thing he’s ever had to face but he wouldn't change his little boy for the world. He never thought he’d find someone that was good for both him and his son, but that changed fast the day he met his son’s new teacher.

Closer (by niamcuddles): 209,765 words/20 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Niall’s pretty sure he doesn’t actually have a real crush on the rick and arrogant guy he’s been attempting to teach how to golf, but there’s something about him that just won’t allow Niall to say no. Not even when he gets made a very unexpected offer.

From the day that I met you (by niamcuddles): 272,394 words/25 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Partying and having a good time are probably two of Niall’s favorite things, he just wouldn’t have thought that a night out would end with him getting to know Liam, or that their paths would cross a lot more often than just this once. But somehow they happen to be more helpful to one another than expected.

Like the angel you are (by niamcuddles): 164,367 words/13 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: To be honest, Niall has already given up on his life ever getting any better, he’s used to being on his own and not being looked after, so maybe not even a way too caring stranger can help change that.

Too Much Too Soon (by brainstorm): 47,353 words/3 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Niall stands up for himself for the first time ever but things don’t turn out the way he wanted them to and he finds himself struggling between the way he’s always been or the way he wants to be. It’s a matter of time to know who’ll win, his mind or his heart. (sequel to “For You, My Love”)

Like the air I’m breathing (by niamcuddles): 81,307 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: Niall is four years younger than Liam and he is sick of being the little brother, that is until Liam suddenly finds a girlfriend and cuts Niall out of his life completely.

Now we are (by niamcuddles): 143,082 words/15 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Liam’s kind of keeping a busy schedule right now, his whole life seems to basically only consist of work and studying, so what he really can’t need at this time are friends who constantly want to hang out, but above that, 19 year ole uni students who can’t take no as an answer.

For what it’s worth (by niamcuddles): 120,800 words/10 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Liam has trouble figuring out his life and what he really can’t stand are loud, talkative and clingy people, but he would’ve never thought that getting rid of Niall could be this hard.

Something I need (by niamcuddles): 87,735 words/5 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: 16 years is a very long time, but Niall still remembers all the things he and Liam have gone through together

❤️Gramander (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: Original Percival Graves x Newt Scamander): I honestly don’t remember how I stumbled into this couple fandom but they do have several great fics. For some reason I only bookmark this one though.

Here We Are (by Miss_Lv): 22,177 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mpreg

Summary: Percival had long given up on the idea that he would find an omega mate, he ver seemed to fit what they were seeking in a husband, always too rough, not gentle enough. But then he meets Newt Scamander and the omega is utterly perfect to him, with his shy smiles and tendency to run headlong into danger. Catching vipers in his hands and keeping nifflers for company, Newt is nothing like the typical demure omega and Percival is lost before he can even think to resist.

❤️Jack O’Neill x Daniel Jackson (Stargate SG-1): Like I don’t even know their ship name for real…

I Walk Alone...No More (by Joy): 17,955 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Daniel finds love in another universe. Quantum Mirror Story.

Even though it was not original Daniel and original Jack ending up together, but in the end it was still Jack and Daniel, and I was happy with the ending.

Pulling Threads (by Joy): 13,241 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Daniel’s place in the world seems to be going nowhere. After what happened with The Others, sending him back, he’s got some thinking to do about what happens next. Does he go to Atlantis, forget about Earth? Or stay at the SGC in a role he’s not entirely sure is his. Then Jack invites him to dinner and his future is changed forever.

Civilians (by LadyRa): 46,557 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: AU ending to Point of View. What if the AU Samantha hadn’t been willing to let go of Jack?

Instinct (by AuroraNova): 27,783 words/10 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Daniel Jackson is an unconventional, career-focused omega. It’s going to take one special alpha to win him over. Jack O’Neill is determined to be that alpha.

Strange Interlude (by ELG): 228,960 words/4 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Daniel discovers that in other universes not only the uniforms are different… Jack and Daniel’s friendship has been under strain for some time but when Daniel is kidnapped by an AU Teal’c very different from our own, it’s up to Jack to save him. An AU Jack, however, complicates the situation considerably. 

❤️Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan (I ship Stucky so as a matter of fact, I ship the actors as well)

Sugar Daddy (by orphan_account): 91,139 words/17 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Sebastian is a broke and abandoned college kid trying to scrape up enough money to pay for rent and tuition. When he meets Chris, an accomplished architect who takes him under his wing, he doesn’t understand what his friends keep calling him until he looks it up for himself.

❤️Harringrove (Stranger Things: Billy Hargrove x Steve Harrington)

Bite Your Tongue And Choke Yourself To Sleep (by trashcangimmick): 21,173 words/5 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Steve is going to grad school in Chicago. Life is comfortable. Life is stable. Steve is doing great and he really wishes everyone would stop asking.

Set the Record Straight (by MischiefManaged97): 35,054 words/14 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Steve was a little nervous about making things right with Billy after their fight. Steve just wants to apologize and relax, but Billy may have other ideas.

You’re the best I’ve ever had; you’re the worst I’ve ever had (and thet keeps fuckin’ with my head) (by determinedlove): 52,697 words/14 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Mpreg, Intersex

Summary: Steve Harrington loved his status in the world and his life. He had great friends and babysat two amazing kids (but don’t tell them he said that). So what if he couldn’t sleep in his room sometimes because the house was just too damn big and the quiet didn’t help keep the nightmares at bay. So what if the new guy at school was everything he had been warned away from? He could play the game just as well as he could. But then Will goes missing. And the new guy proves to be everything people warned him about and so much more when no one else is around.

❤️Namjin (BTS: Kim Namjoon (RM) x Kim Seokjin (Jin)): These two are just so adorable together.

Pack Mentality (by resonae): 9,452 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Namjoon is possessive.

The Professor’s Wife (by EquinoxSolstice): 12,163 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: Everybody knew Professor Kim was already married. It was actually the first thing they asked the man during the first day of classes, with one brave student asking the question out loud for everyone to hear. The older man responded with deep dimples and a raised left hand, letting everyone see the plain, silver band glittering on his ring finger. But, as one Jeon Kungkook found out, they were all completely, terribly wrong. What? The Professor didn’t say he had a wife.

Why Three is Better Than Two (by lulublue1234): 35,298 words/23 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Seokjin is a bit of a stalker. Smitten with a Father-son duo. Where Yoongi is the most adorable child ever created.  

The Shaman and the Exorcist (by metastacia): 145,258 words/20 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Seokjin doesn’t believe in ghosts. Which would cause a huge uproar if everyone knew since he’s kind of a big deal at his university; he’s a shaman who protects people from evil spirits. He doesn’t remember where he got the idea to do this from, all he knows is that superstitious people pay good money. Namjoon does believe in ghosts. Better yet, he can see them and he can expel them. But there’s a certain honey shaman at his university who’s stealing all his clients in his exorcism business, and he’s not happy about it because haunted people pay good money. So, what do they do? Figure out whose closet is holding all the skeletons, of course.

Fate Led Me To You (Now Let me Love You) (by MinMinnieMin): 58,382 words/15 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Mature

Summary: Seokjin did not believe he’d ever have a happy ending. How many happy endings did you ever hear an unmated Omega with a child have? But fate is a funny thing. What’s meant to be will always find its way. And Kim Namjoon tries his best to get Seokjin to see that. Because of fate, they found each other.

❤️Broyo (Prodigal Son: Gil Arroyo x Malcolm Bright): I seem to have a soft spot for couples with noticeable age difference

To be Normal (by holyfudgemonkeys (erraticallyinspired)): 70,399 words/26 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Mpreg

Summary: Malcolm has a terrible encounter while out trying to be ‘normal’ and get roofied. He doesn’t report it and tries to move on but winds up pregnant. He turns to Gil for support who is there with open arms. As they work through the choices Malcolm has to make and Gil is just there more and more their relationship evolves into something more intimate and romantic than either of them could ever have planned for.

❤️Hannor (Detroit: Become Human: Hank Anderson x Connor): Again, another couple with considerable age difference

Arrival (by coffee666): 83,075 words/7 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Hank just wanted help around the house for Cole. He never expected such a goofy thing that laughed and hummed and protected Cole with all of his being. Connor is not like other androids - but neither of them truly know how deep those differences go.

The Opposite Life (by Speckeh): 38,612 words so far

Status: Incompleted (9/10 chapters)

Rating: Explicit

Summary: 17 years and 9 months ago, Connor decided to start his own family, alone. He falls in love with the voice sample of Donor 55719, as the mysterious man talks about a mundane life. It’s everything he wished for. After 17 years of loving the two minute voice sample that fathered his children, what will Connor do when that voice suddenly appears in his life?

By Default//By Design (by Make_It_Worse): 9,211 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Connor, an overworked clothing designer, who is also a huge brat. Hank, an HK800 android model, who isn’t having any of it.

❤️Hannigram (Hannibal: Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham)

With a Crown of Stars (by thehoyden): 33,536 words/7 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: When the call connects, Will says, “I know what kind of crazy I am, but I’m not this kind of crazy.”

“Will?” Dr. Lecter says.

“Yes, hi, sorry,” Will says. “It’s me. There’s a baby on my porch.”

Taken for Rubies (by emungere): 76,842 words/20 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Crossdressing, Feminization

Summary: Will invites Hannibal over for dinner. Hannibal brings him wine and flowers. A dissection of their pasts and the slow convergence of their domestic lives.

❤️Rinch (Person of Interest: John Reese x Harold Finch)

Pallas’s Rosefinch (by elbowsinsidethedoor): 55,536 words/25 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics

Summary: Harold needs John. John needs Harold. And that’s the way I like it!

Difficult To Name aka Titles Are Difficult (by elbowsinsidethedoor): 51,710 words/17 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: John is a retired pro who comes back for a special client. For those who fear a BDSM themed story, please note that this is a tender love story.

Milk and Cream (by hallulawy): 33,388 words/6 chapters

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Out-of-character

Summary: Story between John (Alpha, 35, general practitioner) and Harold (Omega, 27-ish, entrepreneur, five-month-pregnant). They are not married (yet).

❤️Noah Reid x Dan Levy (They play Patrick and David in Schitt’s Creek if you don’t know)

Fries Before Guys (by wildxwired): 29,065 words/1 chapter

Status: Completed

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Six weeks ago, Home (on a) Plate showed up in front of the MTV building in West Hollywood and started providing the locals with quite possibly the most amazing and inventive variations of grilled cheese sandwiches and cheese fries every Monday and Thursday, between the hours of 12 and 2. It wasn’t just the melt -in-the-mouth gooey goodness that had people clambering around the truck, or the insanely fair prices that were usually nowhere to be found on the rest of the street food in LA, but the fact that this was all served up by some hazel eyed specimen with the forearms of a god probably didn’t hurt either.

[marshmallow-phd]

Scarlet Moon

Genre: Scarlet Heart Ryeo!AU, Time Travel!AU, Alternate History, Royalty!AU

Pairing: OC x EXO OT9

Summary:  This isn’t Gwen’s time. She was from the modern era, with technology and electricity. But during a solar eclipse, she’s transported back into a previous life in a time and place she does not know. Now, as the foreign daughter of a merchant living in a prince’s household, she must tread carefully, watch her back, and guard her heart. But with the princes locked in a battle over the throne, the chances of her making it out alive might disappear.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3

                                            ********

The paper sliced across the skin before any action could be taken to avoid it. A high pitched hiss followed by a short whine. The flap of skin that had been separated was being dyed red. 

Gwen stuck her index finger in her mouth to sooth the stinging. It helped a little bit. Still sucking on the appendage, Gwen stumbled over to the supply closet and opened the thin metal doors with the other hand. She kept this feat up as she opened the first aid kit and pushed around the different types of bandages, trying to decide which one to use. The cut was right on the tip, right where you never want it to be. It was hard to get a band aid on that kind of cut. Eventually, she found a smaller version of a standard design and ripped the paper covering opening. She wrapped the band aid around her index finger before heading for her desk. It was back to the files that had injured her in the first place. 

The pile was tall; by her standards, at least. Gwen had been dealing with it for the past hour. The dates on the files needed sorting, separating the ones could be sent to long-term storage. She almost gave out another whine, but she didn’t want the others to hear and start the relentless teasing. Her coworkers were quick and very witty. 

It was a friendly floor. Everyone joked and played around without the fear of feelings being hurt. If Gwen didn’t have to do the actual work that came with the office space, she wouldn’t mind staying here forever. But dealing with these files and demanding customers and meeting quotas was not what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Not that Gwen knew exactly what it was that she did want to do. She’d tried a lot of things over the last few years in her slow going college years. Marketing, history, education - hell, she even took several makeup courses and skincare lessons that focused on natural resources. None of it stuck, none of it held her interest, though the information could be recalled if needed. 

“You alright there, Gwen?”

Drudging up from the bowels of her thoughts, Gwen looked up at Kimberly, who had stopped at her desk on the way back from the printer. 

“Yeah,” Gwen nodded with a sigh. “Just… ready for the week to be over.”

“Ain’t that the consensus,” Kimberly laughed. 

“How are the dogs?” Gwen was seizing the opportunity to distract herself from work. Kimberly owned two dogs with opposite personalities. One was the well-mannered older brother, the other was the skittish, hyper younger brother. She loved to talk about them and there was never a shortage of entertaining stories. 

Kimberly rolled her eyes. “Kurt is back to back to demanding his breakfast at five a.m. Oh, but Kent now does this thing where he walks backwards. Whenever he starts doing that, we’ll beep at him. You know, like the garbage trucks? Then he gets all shy and hides his head.”

Gwen couldn’t stop giggling at the thought. “Oh, the poor thing!”

“You’ll have to see it next time you come over.”

“I can’t wait.”

As Kimberly walked away, Gwen sighed. She didn’t get out too much and the humor that most of her socializing outside of work was with one of her coworkers wasn’t lost on her. Just another dart to throw at the board that was Gwen Sinclair. 

It wasn’t like her life was a complete disaster. Really, it could have been worse. She could imagine a thousand different scenarios that she could be living right now that were worse off then her current situation. Truthfully, if glanced at from the outside, Gwen’s life was simply... mediocre. She was blessed with tolerable roommates, an okay job that provided a nice paycheck for a twenty-three-year-old who had yet to finish college. But… the loneliness was killing her and overall, she was craving for something more. 

She was exhausted from obligation and responsibility. She wished to go back to the days where she read about adventure and intrigue and imagined some day living that out herself. After having those words in her hands, she felt empty in her reality. Somehow, each day felt even more draining. 

With the end of another workday, Gwen packed up the files that still needed to be sorted, locked up her cabinets and tugged on her coat as she waved goodbye to Kimberly and the others. A few other coworkers were chatting excitedly about the solar eclipse happening in a few minutes. Gwen, however, was annoyed. Annoyed at the fact that all anyone - online or in person - could talk about was the solar eclipse, as if it was the only one that had ever been seen in this generation. When one person mentioned the eclipse, it was fine. When it was every post and every comment and every conversation, it felt a little ridiculous. Gwen couldn’t care less about the event. Getting home was her current priority. But escaping wasn’t that easy. 

For the millionth time, Gwen rolled her eyes as she scrolled through the newsfeed, waiting for her car to warm up in the parking garage. The weather was cold and dreary, slowing down her progress on getting home. Puffs of steam escaped her lips in the below freezing temperature. Other employees hurried past the back of her car to get to their own tiny sanctuaries. An alert for a new email popped up at the top of the phone screen. From the quick scan of the notification, she saw that it was from her eastern history professor. He wanted to go over the latest paper from class. Oh, no. That was never a good sign. 

Gwen huffed, threw her car into reverse, and pulled out of the parking space. First the papercut, now this. 

Since all her classes were online, Gwen had the minor luxury to not be forced to talk to her professor face to face, which surely would have been humiliating. But it couldn’t be avoided completely. She’d email him back once she arrived home. Or maybe she’d put it off until tomorrow. Dealing with this was the last thing she wanted to do. Stress was already causing her skin to revert back to puberty, she didn’t need this as well. 

Her phone rang and she struggled to answer it while carefully winding down the levels of the garage. It was Jaynie, the favorite of the roommates.

“Hey, Janie, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing, I was just wondering if you were coming straight home today.”

Gwen smirked, knowing exactly where this was going. 

Over the past several months, a bit of an obsession had developed with Korean dramas. The shows the two of them consumed were different from the same old, boring American television and there were years worth of stories to choose from. Currently, they were in the middle of another romantic comedy. While Gwen loved the storyline and was in a constant state of swoon, as soon as the credits started rolling, she was reminded how pathetically uninteresting her life was. But those sixty plus minutes of pure escapism made it all worth the crash that came afterwards. 

Gwen tried to wait patiently in the line to leave the parking garage, but her frustration was getting the better of her. It was stop and go, stop and go, stop and go.

“I’m planning on it. That is, if people decide any day now to not drive idiotically.”

“Ugh, I had the same problem on my way home.” 

Curious. Both of them worked in the downtown area. “How did you get home so fast?” Gwen asked.

“I got off a little early today.”

“Lucky.” Her accounting job often led to flexible hours. Gwen was jealous of that level of freedom. 

The road was slick from the freezing rain. Weather like this brought out all the stupid drivers as if this wasn’t a yearly occurrence. She was careful to look both ways before exiting the garage and inching into the street. What she didn’t account for was the other emptying lot across the street. A large black SUV pulled out right at the same time, but went too fast, hitting the water that was slowly turning to ice on the asphalt. 

With no time to react, the SUV slammed into the side of Gwen’s compact car. Glass from the driver’s side window shattered and sprayed her face. Her phone flew out of her hand. The crunch of metal hit her ears before she could fully process what had happened. With the force of the collision, her forehead slammed against the steering wheel before the airbag deployed. The sound of screams echoed around her, but the words were unintelligible. Slumped over in her seat, a shadow creeped over the scene. Through the slits of her barely open eyes, Gwen watched as the sun disappeared behind the moon. Then all went black. 

                                           ********

The water was what brought her back. It filled her lungs and surrounded her on all sides. She flailed her limbs, desperate for traction that couldn’t be found. Her clothing weighed her down, the hems being pulled as if hands had gripped tight on them. She needed a miracle. And a miracle she got. Two hands held onto one of her wrists and pulled her to the surface. 

She gasped for air as her rescuer struggled to bring her to shore. The cloth that covered her felt as if it weighed a hundred pounds, making it nearly impossible to move. Water made its way up her throat, spilling over her lips. Her lungs were finally clear. They took in as much oxygen as they were allowed, burning with each brath. 

“Lady Gwen! Lady Gwen!”

A young girl blocked out the bright sun. She shook Gwen’s shoulders desperately. 

Gwen’s brain processed that the girl was not speaking English, but… she could understand her. The girl’s damp, dark hair was pulled into halves on either side of her face held in place by wide red straps. She looked at Gwen with deep concern, like a lifelong friend. But Gwen was sure she had never seen this girl before in her life. 

“My Lady, can you hear me?” she asked frantically.

“Who are you?” Gwen finally choked out. 

That made the girl pause in her panic. “What?”

Slowly regaining her strength, Gwen pushed herself up to her knees. As her eyesight cleared, she took in her surroundings. Gone were the tall metal and glass buildings, traffic lights, and speeding cars of her modern home. Now all that surrounded her were trees and a sandy beach of a large, calm lake. In the distance, wooden houses with curved rooftops, painted in bright reds and greens dotted the horizon. The heaviness that weighed her down was a dress made of too many layers and of no western fashion that she’d ever experienced before. 

Whispers bounced around the rocky shore. All the faces that were looking on with concern around were unfamiliar. Gwen grabbed the hair cascading down her back, but it was still the red she knew, darker from the dampness of being pulled out of the water but still her hair. 

“Where am I?” she asked in a quiet, gasping voice.

“My Lady, don’t you remember?” The girl panicked. “You’re in Songak. Goryeo.”

“Goryeo?” Gwen screeched. All the minor details she could summon up of the country came rushing to the forefront of her mind. It was information overload and her brain couldn’t handle it. Her lungs tried desperately to keep up, breathing in as much air as they could, but her throat was closing up from the panic. The landscape blurred and she fell to the ground.

                                          ********

She was in a bed this time when she regained consciousness. The room was cold and dimly lit with soft, orange candlelight. A man, Caucasian unlike the others, sat beside the bed on a stool, worry etched into every facet of his face.

“Gwen, sweet, are you all right?”

English. He was speaking English. But that was a footnote of comfort to the bigger problem. She still didn’t know what had happened to her or how she got here or who these people were that seemed to know her. The man, who was about in his mid-forties with salt and pepper hair, smiled down at her, though his eyes were confused. “Gwen, does it hurt anywhere? Can you tell me if you hit your head?”

Gwen took a moment, to calm down and to evaluate what she was feeling physically. Her head didn’t hurt, nor did any other part of her body. Wordlessly, she shook her head. The man seemed relieved. 

“Are you all right?” He asked again, a different meaning under the question this time. “Chae Ryung said you couldn’t remember her or that we were in Goryeo? Do you at least remember your papa?”

Gwen weighed the choices in her mind. There wasn’t a mirror around, but she started to wonder if she had taken the place of someone else. Someone who knew these strangers. She could say that she didn’t know any of them - the truth - but would they think her mad if she spilled too much? Perhaps she could say she remembered a few things. Like him, if he is this poor girl’s father. Why am I here? In this time? 

Choosing to comprise with herself, she gave the smallest of nods. “Papa.” Sitting up, she pulled him into a hug and there was something comforting about his embrace. This body remembered him, at least. 

“What happened?” she asked after she let go. 

“Chae Ryung said that you’d wandered off again and she found you, you’d been the water a long time.” The man, Papa, sucked in a breath, his eyes beginning to water. His genuine concern over her wellbeing made Gwen choke up as well. “The doctor said you stopped breathing. That could explain your lost memories.”

Good. The excuse was already in her hands. That should make it easy enough to play along while being forgiven for any missteps. But they shouldn’t be in Goryeo. That didn’t make any sense, historically. If anything, they might have been in Joseon – late Joseon. Was this some sort of alternate timeline? Or maybe she hit her head really hard in the car crash and this is really all a dream from the stress of her paper and too much K-drama. 

Yes. Too much K-drama.

That had to be the explanation. This was all a strange dream. Which meant, she could play along and not be afraid. She could ask questions and live out the day until she woke back up in her own time, most likely in a hospital with a bandage on her head and her mother fretting over her. 

She glanced around the room, taking in the architecture that she had only ever seen in pictures. In person, it was even more stunning and intricate. This wasn’t an ordinary citizen’s home. Interesting. What else could her brain come up with? “Why are we in Goryeo?”

“Your father’s a merchant, remember?” He spoke slowly. Each word was deliberate, giving Gwen time to process. Good filler for her mind. “I made a large fortune here and planned on taking you back home, but… your mother is buried here. We couldn’t leave her behind.”

A wave of emotion hit out of nowhere. Though her mother was alive and well, it didn’t stop a tear from escaping. “Mama.”

Papa wiped it away with a coarse finger. Gwen gasped back, surprised by the realness of the touch. Her dreams were never this intricate. The blanket strone across her lap scrunched in her fingers. It was cold and soft… and very real. 

She wasn't dreaming, was she?

Confused by her reaction, Papa paused for a moment before continuing his explanation. “The eighth prince is graciously letting us stay with him while we wait on the construction of our home to be complete.”

The eighth prince?

Panic grew tenfold. If this wasn’t a dream, then she was in very big trouble. If history told her one thing, it was that proximity to royalty was the most dangerous place to be. Gwen might possibly have been able to skate by if they were simply staying in some unknown village far from the capital, but they were in a prince’s home. Which meant they were in… Songak, the capital city, just like that girl – Chae Ryung – had said. Right under the King’s nose. Breathing became difficult again. Each one was shallow, barely letting in any oxygen. Gwen could feel her chest tighten and her vision blurred. 

“Gwen!” Papa jumped up and tried to keep her straight to give her lungs as much room as possible. He switched to Korean as he called out over his shoulder, “Someone, get the doctor! Now!” Shuffling sounds echoed off the floor on the other side of the sliding door and then faded away.

A minute later, breathing no better, two men and a woman rushed inside along with Chae Ryung. The older man stepped in front of Papa and took his place. He pushed Gwen’s shoulders gently until she was lying down. Two cold fingers against her wrist checked her pulse. The other, much younger man stepped up to Papa.

“What happened?”

Papa frowned. “It seems she’s lost some of her memories. I was explaining why we were here when suddenly she had trouble breathing.” He stopped, struggling with his own breath. “I’m sorry we’ve become a burden to you, Your Highness.” 

Gwen’s breathing was regaining strength and she was able to concentrate on the conversation. So that was the eighth prince. He was younger than she would have guessed, handsome even, if she had to focus on something other than her lack of breath. 

“Do not think such a thing,” the Eighth Prince replied. “Your presence has greatly improved the household. Lady Gwen will get better with time.”

Papa bowed, obviously grateful at the response. He turned to the woman. “Lady Hae, may I enquire after your own health?”

“Today is a better day,” she smiled, though her pale, drained complexion said otherwise. “Please, don’t worry about me. Keep your thoughts for your daughter.”

The doctor released Gwen’s wrist, satisfied with the improvement of her pulse and breathing. He stood up.

“It was a mild panic attack,” the doctor said calmly to Papa. “If it happens again, she should lie down and focus on her breathing. The incident at the lake seems to have taken a toll on her body. She simply needs rest. In time, her memories and her body will recover.”

Gwen didn’t agree with that statement fully. This body might get better in time, but there was no way memories that didn’t exist would ever return. One by one, the occupants left the room until it was only Gwen and Papa remaining behind. Silence hung in the air. After a moment, Papa sat down on the stool and took Gwen’s hand. 

“I was worried I had lost you,” he whispered. 

Gwen’s eyes fell down to the blanket covering her legs. Things were becoming clearer to her now. This was not a dream and she was no longer Gwen Sinclair from the twenty-first century. Something must have happened. She didn’t know what exactly had occurred or what would happen now, but she was here. And little did this man – known only to her as “Papa” – know that he had indeed lost his daughter. The face may be the same, but the Gwen inside was different. She would try her best to be good to him, at least until she found a way to get back to her own family. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

                                          ********

The next morning, the doctor, along with the Eighth Prince, came back to check on Gwen. The doctor commented that her pulse was stronger and that she seemed well on the road to full health. However, he still insisted on keeping her on bedrest.

Bored with these same walls and too curious about her temporary home, Gwen sat up. If she was going to be here for a while, she might as well get to know it. “I’m fine. Please, don’t make me stay in here all day. The sun and air is good for you, isn’t it?”

The sudden rebelliousness against the doctor’s suggestion did not seem to sit well with any of them. Gwen gave Papa a pleading look. A father couldn’t resist those eyes. He sighed, turning to the doctor. “Perhaps, a little exercise in walking around the grounds would be all right?”

The doctor looked reluctant, but he agreed. “But she shouldn’t overexert herself.”

“Chae Ryung will stay with her,” the Eighth prince ordered. “If you’ll please excuse me, I must meet with my brothers.” He bowed and left, followed by the doctor.

Having heard her name from the hallway, Chae Ryung shuffled quickly inside and over to Gwen, holding out her arms for the latter to balance on as she slid off of the bed. “Are you sure you want to go outside?”

Gwen nodded. “Yes. Perhaps seeing more of this place will help jog my memory.”

Chae Ryung tilted her head. “How can your memory jog?”

Gwen snorted, both at Chae Ryung’s confusion and at herself for the slip of the modern phrase. “Sorry, I just meant, maybe my memories will come back.”

“Oh.” The look on her face was enough to make Gwen laugh again. 

Gwen scolded herself internally. She had to be more careful with her words. Every step was one on thin ice. She couldn’t change who she was, not completely, but she would have to pull back. Chae Ryung, however, felt safe, like a shelter from the rain. With her, Gwen could find answers that might be dangerous to seek elsewhere. Straightening her shoulders, Gwen smiled broadly and took her newest friend’s hand. Chase Ryung grinned brightly at her and guided her out of the room.

[mc-critical]

Hi darling, Idk if you talked about this before, but what do you think about Rumeysa (Mustafa's concubine)? Do you think they planned to make her Mustafa's wife untill the actress was changed? And also, if she would've become his wife, how do you think she'd act in comparison to how Mihrunnisa (queen) acted? We didn't really see a lot of her but I wanted to know what do you believe they wanted to do with her character

Hey, dear! 🤗 No, I haven't talked about Rumeysa in here. I'll cover the S03 one and the S04 one separately, because in practice, they're both very different characters.

I strongly dislike S03 Rumeysa as a character, to be brutally honest. She goes all good, nice and innocent, when secretly she's sneaky and even manipulative in order to fulfill her goals. The thing that annoys me the most is not necessarily her fixation on Mustafa and how she wants to get him, because after all, it's a harem and everyone wants to get him, but how nearly inexplicable her whole motivation is, in spite and outside of that.

I feel Rumeysa's arc could be split in two almost separate halves - her set-up in the harem (pre-E93) and her as a favorite in the harem. (post-E93). The most interesting things about her were precisely her set-up and backstory. The way she was sent to the harem, the way she was tied to signora Gabriella, the way both of them were about to reunite and when that happened, Rumeysa was just confused more than anything... The idea of sisters finding each other within these harem walls was fascinating, but that was seemingly dropped. I feel even from this point on that the show tried to make a case of a person who's been long in the harem and has lost the touch of a free life to the point of being afraid to leave, but her confusion on the signora and her refusal to go with her was the only part they pulled off. (not to mention they executed that concept much better with Sümbül!) Then begins the second half of her arc that went in another direction the writers didn't succeed to make me get. I didn't get why she wanted Mustafa so much. She said she wanted and appreciated Mustafa a lot and that was why she wanted to leave and this trainwreck began all of a sudden! That doesn't make any sense! She had no (or at least not pivotal) scenes with Mustafa before E93, she neither experienced a desire to get Mustafa, nor was it shown to the audience in any way before the convenient moment. Her build-up was never about Mustafa before then. Her arc was never about Mustafa before then. And yet Mustafa became the center of her character, to the point it's as if they were like: "let's have another woman for Mustafa, but this time with an even more overexaggerated you might think it was Turhan Hürrem-esque arc, so we can make her his full on woman!". She was paving her way through sneaky methods to the point of hypocrisy for no reason, she didn't even have much of a threat, either. Ayşe Hatun put pressure on her once in a while, but it felt understandable when she had a child from Mustafa and that, Rumeysa started acting this confident just like that. I get that in the harem you have to be sorta like that in order to survive, etc., but with Rumeysa that wasn't enough of a motivation! She seemed just fine under Mahidevran and taking care of Nergisşah before then, she could calm people down, what happened? And notice how in the second part of her arc these scenes were lowered to the minimum, or recontextualized, at the very least, so you can't buy anything with her anymore.

But wait, what if she always wanted Mustafa when she arrived? Then every moment of kindness she has shown, even to the little child, becomes even worse in retrospect, because it would either just suit her interest, either become a jarring contrast with what she has shaped up to be. But wait actually, that effect is achieved even without her arc being split in two halves! I would've sympathized with her much more if there was some additional motivation, like everyone else basically, but honestly, the harem excuse is all we could use with her and in her case, that just doesn't suffice, especially for such a big shift in storylines. And then after building up to a halvet, we had the halvet and it was over and left me very unsatisfied. (okay, that's probably because of the actress, but still)

She was screwed up spectacularly at best and downright horrible at worst. Her early concept was way too good to be left out like that and since that leaving out was maybe inevitable for the writers, they had to do this transition better and have the first half of the arc be focused on Rumeysa, as well as Gabriella, instead of making this whole line with her being Gabriella's sister she was searching for more of a plot twist than an organic build-up, because Gabi was the one click baited to want Mustafa! This character ended up being defined by her goal she was trying to fulfill and nothing else, not any redeeming quality whatsoever.

I think Rumeysa was the least suited woman for Mustafa, yes, even less than Fatma. Because if Fatma had some love for him and was genuinely trying to calm him down after Efsun at first, with Rumeysa we simply had steps to get him right from the start and an entire ordeal that wouldn't sit well with Mustafa. We didn't even know not only why she wanted Mustafa, but also what was it she had with Mustafa - was it love, was he just a vessel for her to rise in the hierarchy (that's probably it for me), what was next when he was all hers etc. We have no feelings, no insight here and Mustafa himself was only slightly intrigued at best. And even if she were there for the battle of the throne, she would definetly scheme even more actively than anyone else and that would seriously clash with Mustafa's desires. I don't think she would suit S03B Mustafa's level of maturity, either.

Yes, I would say S03 Rumeysa could very well be the endgame for Mustafa and become his wife if it wasn't for the actress leaving and stuff, because of how she was framed to succeed. This part of Rumeysa's arc existed in a vacuum, it was a tiny victory after a tiny victory due to sly thinking that she was always allowed to get away with somehow. Again, the way she was slowly, but surely getting her way reminded me of all the Hürrem-esque arcs in the series that did end up with these women becoming the total favourites and I wouldn't be surprised at the least if they kept that pattern of success with Rumeysa, since it was very present in her arc.

[While we're at it, I didn't get why Mahidevran believed her so much. On one hand, yes, character development, because, as seen with Mihrünnisa later, as well, Mahidevran no longer gets suspicious of the nature of these women and only intervenes when she sees a decision of Mustafa's regarding them that could potentially be dangerous for his future, coupled with the fact that Mahidevran values loyalty a lot and she has seen nothing but that with Rumeysa. But on the other hand... Mahi is usually so perceptive when it comes to women that could actually be problematic or dangerous for him and Rumeysa being the only exception then was as much character development and the chance of lowering her guard because of the calmer environment as it was.. way too convenient, since we saw Rumeysa was playing a game behind the curtain. Especially the situation when Rumeysa provoked Ayşe Hatun on purpose for Mahi and Musti to see and Mahi not listening to Ayşe or Fidan's warnings about Rumeysa, along with her fully adapting to the harem laws she was previously against and taking on her role as a Valide in Mustafa's harem, was almost like Plot Armor for Rumi similarly to how Hürrem acted accordingly when she saw SS listening to her in the candle mirror in E44, albeit in the opposite way. I view that as a clear recipe for narrative favor and I was appalled that it had to be with such a character.]

If S03 Rumeysa became his wife, I don't see her acting much like Mihrunnisa. First off, due to how her arc was framed, Ayşe Hatun would have very much stayed as an antagonist of hers (even though Rumi wouldn't view her as one in their confrontations) and would try to eliminate her in a secret, subtle and cunning way. While Rumeysa would definetly try her all to keep Mustafa safe and would try to win Mahidevran's support for the marriage the way Mihrunnisa did, Rumi would have more of an agenda of her own she would follow. I won't be surprised if she tried head down on the path to overpower them all in her influence of him, either. Mustafa and Mihrunnisa were partners more than anything, with the same ideals, aspirations and desires. They were very close in their way of thinking and how they would approach problems, that's why they had such a deep bond. S03 Rumeysa would get further and further away from Mustafa's personality as his wife and if the other S04 events are canon, she would probably indeed go and reveal Bayezid's marriage with Huricihan the moment Mustafa refused to and act herself instead.

S04 Rumeysa is barely there, but I like her a bit better. She is an entirely different character with her consistent worries for the future, her more caring and protecting nature and even Mahidevran's more "I'm fed up with all this" attitude to her. Even if we add S03 Rumeysa to the mix, we get at least more feeling out of her and what was she all about and we get some other contrasting facets of hers as a bonus: in contrast to Rumi calming Mahidevran down when Mustafa disobeyed SS's order in E91/2 (my favourite S03 Rumeysa scene, but it was also kinda ruined post-E93), now Mahidevran tells her not to worry so much. Thing is, S04 Rumeysa could very well work without S03 Rumeysa both because of the different actress and the different characterization that could only loosely recontextualize S03 Rumeysa at best, and since there was a time skip, some random concubine and favourite Mustafa slept with and she became pregnant wouldn't be out of the question at all. Yes, her death would probably have less impact that way, but nor could I ever bother with S03 Rumeysa, nor would it be weird because of her different dynamics, which made her look almost foreign in comparison. (that's not on the actress, both Rumeysas were great!) And it would be as impactful as it would've been for Mustafa and Mahidevran, because the loss of the child would be just as devastating for him and was still tied to the mirror of sin.

If S04 Rumeysa didn't die and became Mustafa's wife, I think their bond would be focused more on their future child than anything. Rumeysa would probably act similarly to S03 Ayşe Hatun, only in a more secure position, I see a lot of similarities there. I don't think their bond would be as deep, but they could have the chance to get close for a little bit. I see Rumeysa refraining from acting so much, because of her worrying for the consequences, but when that fear gets the best of her, she could take desperate measures.

[lesdemonium]

romtober day 4: dream dismissal

Rating: T Ship: Geraskier Word Count: 2815 Summary: Jaskier is given the opportunity of a lifetime--the chance to tour with the Priscilla. He has to decide if he wants to take the opportunity, or stay with Geralt and Ciri.

Author’s Note: i am a SCRUB who forgot to mention on my post yesterday (for grand gesture) that @valdomarx gave me the idea for that fic! i have updated it on ao3 to give rightful credit, but didn’t want the credit to get buried on tumblr. thank you so much!!

read on ao3

“We could do long distance, couldn’t we?”

The room was dark, and Geralt was almost startled by Jaskier interrupting the silence. Almost. He had expected Jaskier to continue the conversation from earlier. Jaskier was not going to be able to sleep unless he emptied his head of at least some of the thoughts bouncing around and demanding they be heard. Geralt just wished he had done it a little sooner.

“Is this a lights on conversation?” Geralt asked. He didn’t roll over to face his boyfriend just yet, but he did scoot himself up just a little, ready to reach out and turn the switch.

“No, no,” Jaskier said, and Geralt could picture him shaking his head, as if he was completely sure. “It’ll be quick, promise. I’ll let you sleep. Just. We could do it, right?”

Geralt rolled over to find Jaskier sitting up completely. Had he ever laid down? Probably not. Geralt propped his head up on his crooked elbow. He was going to regret not turning on the light, he was sure, but he didn’t want to waste time arguing with Jaskier over something so trivial. Not when this conversation was more important.

“Of course we could. There’s a lot of different ways this could go, but us breaking up so you can leave isn’t one of them,” Geralt answered.

Jaskier’s shoulders remained tense. Geralt stretched out a hand and laid it over Jaskier’s, intertwining their fingers. Still tense, but now at least Jaskier was smiling, just a little.

“No? It wouldn’t be too much?” Jaskier asked. “I’d be gone for months, Geralt. And in different timezones. We’re not used to being away from each other that long, and what if we can’t even talk for days?”

“As if you’d let that happen. You’d call me from the toilet if that was the only spare time you had,” Geralt answered. “And I’d answer. Complain, definitely, but answer.”

Jaskier snorted, then his free thumb--the one Geralt wasn’t currently trailing his own thumb over--made its way to his mouth. He chewed on the nail absently, his eyes so wide the white almost shone in the darkness.

“You don’t have to decide tonight, Jask,” Geralt reminded him. He sat himself up, which was a bit of a struggle without extracting his hand from Jaskier’s grasp, but he managed it. “You were only offered the tour today, and it’s still months out. No one is expecting you to have an answer by tomorrow morning.”

“I know,” Jaskier said, but he sounded miserable just the same. “It feels like this should be an easy decision, though. I mean. I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“And five years ago it would have been easy,” Geralt answered, shrugging. “Before you had us tying you down. Ciri and I complicate things.”

Geralt pulled his hand from Jaskier’s, quickly sliding it around Jaskier’s back to assuage the hurt look and hook him in by the hip. Geralt tugged Jaskier close to him and let out a satisfied noise as Jaskier wrapped his arm around Geralt’s waist, hooked their legs together, and buried his face in Geralt’s shoulder. It was only once he was completely wrapped around Geralt that Jaskier finally relaxed, just a little bit.

“It’s a good sort of complicated. I wouldn’t trade you two for the world,” Jaskier mumbled.

Geralt hummed. It was taking every bit of effort he had in him not to voice his own fears. Jaskier didn’t need Geralt’s own, likely unfounded, concerns and hesitations. Still, though, it was hard not to play out the worst-case scenarios in his head. 

What if Jaskier got some distance, and realized that life was better without Geralt and Ciri? What if he realized that fatherhood was too much responsibility, when he could be off chasing his dreams of being a superstar? What if Jaskier met someone while he was on tour, someone as bright and eye catching as Jaskier was, and realized he deserved better than Geralt? What if this was just the first step in losing him? What if the phone calls tapered off, and Jaskier never came back, not really, not in the capacity Geralt had him now?

He couldn’t voice these fears. Jaskier didn’t need the burden of Geralt’s panicking on top of his own. And, truly, Geralt was proud of Jaskier and excited for him. He’d be the second opener for Priscilla, who was already a global superstar, and she had chosen Jaskier. It was huge, and would skyrocket his career and his fame. Jaskier had to take it. If Geralt had anything to say about it, he would take it, and Geralt would just have to hope that he was let down easy, when the time came.

“I wish this didn’t feel like I was choosing between two halves of me,” Jaskier said, a while later.

Geralt kissed the top of Jaskier’s head, then slowly settled them back down on the mattress. Jaskier moved with him and once they were laying down, he rewrapped himself so he was half on top of Geralt. Normally, Geralt would have complained, teased Jaskier about crushing him. Now, though, he was sure they both needed the contact.

“This half isn’t going anywhere,” Geralt assured him. “If you decide to go, we’ll make it work.”

Jaskier fell silent after that, but they both took a long time to drift off to sleep.

--

“I’m going to go,” Jaskier said from the doorway.

Geralt looked up from his book, an eyebrow raised. He knew what Jaskier was talking about, of course, but he hadn’t expected those to be the first words out of his mouth as Jaskier came home from work.

“Nice to see you, too, Jaskier,” Geralt teased, putting down his book.

Jaskier crossed the room and plopped himself down on the other side of the couch, facing Geralt. His face was red and he was still breathing a bit hard, though he was trying very hard to keep his breaths even. Had he run home?

“Hi, love. It’s nice to see you,” Jaskier said, though the words rushed out of him before he repeated, “I’m going to go.”

“That’s great,” Geralt answered. He kept his voice steady, though it felt almost like his heart was beating its way out of his chest. Geralt didn’t want this, but who was he to say no?

“Another opportunity like this isn’t going to come up again. I’ve been working toward this my entire life, and things are finally falling into place. I’d be stupid not to take this opportunity Priscilla is giving me. I mean--this could lead to a real record deal. I could become… maybe not as big as Priscilla, but bigger than I am now,” Jaskier said, and by the end of his explanation, his chest was heaving with his breaths.

“You’re right,” Geralt answered, nodding.

Jaskier didn’t react. Geralt didn’t think he really heard Geralt; he was so caught up in his explanation.

“And you and I--we can do long distance. I mean, we’ve been away from each other before. Just. Not this long. And it’d be hard, but I think we could handle it. And--and Ciri probably wouldn’t totally understand, and that would be heartbreaking to not see her, but we could prepare her and talk her through me being gone for so long. And video call all the time. I love you guys, and we could make this work, and I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think we could survive it. I just--I have to go after this, you know? I won’t get another opportunity like this.”

Geralt reached out a hand and set it on Jaskier’s knee, calming the way it was bouncing nervously. Jaskier finally looked at him, and something on Geralt’s face had Jaskier letting out his breath in a loud whoosh.

“It’s okay, Jask. I’m not mad. Whatever you choose, I’ll be here,” he answered.

Jaskier’s head tilted to the side, his eyes wide and wet, but he didn’t let any tears fall. Instead, he leaned in and took Geralt’s face in his hands and kissed Geralt.

“Thank you,” Jaskier whispered. And that was that.

--

“Geralt, I can’t,” Jaskier whined as Geralt came down the stairs.

Geralt shot Jaskier a questioning look just before he dutifully put Ciri’s latest favorite toy back exactly where she specified it needed to go. He had learned the hard way not to allow the favored toy to stay in her room at night, lest the three-year-old decide that sleep was for chumps again. When he had placed it back on its shelf and Jaskier still hadn’t answered, Geralt turned to where Jaskier was sitting at the table and raised an eyebrow.

“Are you going to tell me what you can’t, or was I supposed to just know from that vague statement?” Geralt asked. 

Geralt stepped up behind Jaskier’s chair and put his hands on Jaskier’s shoulders. Jaskier sighed with his normal amount of dramatic flair and tilted his head back until it rested against Geralt’s stomach.

“I can’t leave,” Jaskier said, still sounding just as distressed. “How could anyone leave that sweet thing? She’s doling out kisses and promised me I could have another one in the morning as long as I’m good. I can’t just… not help you put her to bed when she’s here! It’s hard enough when she’s just at Yennefer’s!”

Geralt hummed and leaned in, kissing Jaskier’s forehead before he straightened up again.

“So you aren’t going?” he asked.

“So I’m not going,” Jaskier answered. 

Jaskier took hold of Geralt’s fingers and tilted his chin up, just a little, but insistently enough that Geralt conceded and leaned in for a kiss. Geralt wished more than anything that they could stay here, in this decision.

--

“Geralt.”

Geralt hummed, but didn’t look up from the dish he was drying. He placed it on the drying mat, then held out his hands for a new dish, but Jaskier did not let go until Geralt was looking at him.

“Yes, Jaskier?” Geralt asked, and finally Jaskier released the dish. 

Jaskier turned back to the sink and started in on another dish, his jaw working though his mouth did not open. Geralt braced himself. Another flip flop, then. Geralt hadn’t said anything--had been pointedly neutral any time the discussion came up--but he had started to believe Jaskier had settled on not going.

“I don’t know what I should do,” Jaskier said.

“About the tour?”

“Yeah. It… feels wrong to turn it down. But it also feels wrong to leave.” He sighed, then passed on another dish. Jaskier’s now-empty hands wrapped around the edge of the counter and he leaned into it, the muscles of his forearms pressing against his skin. “I wish it was as easy as you just… coming with me.”

“I wish it was, too,” Geralt agreed. He put the dish, now drier, on the mat with the others, and leaned his back against the counter. “But you know it’s not. I can’t leave work that long, we can’t pull Ciri out of preschool, and we can’t fly Ciri out every other week to go to Yen’s.”

Jaskier sighed again and nodded, working his lower lip between his teeth hard enough that Geralt was half convinced he’d bite through it soon. He stared down at the sink, still full of water and bubbles. Geralt stared at Jaskier.

“What do you want me to do?” Jaskier asked.

“No, Jask,” Geralt said, shaking his head. “I’m not going to answer that.”

“But why not? Surely you have an opinion.”

“I can’t make this choice for you. I refuse to be what pushes you away, or what takes your dream away from you. I told you I’d support whatever you chose, and I will. But I won’t choose for you.”

Jaskier made an agitated noise and forcefully--or, as forcefully as he could--pulled the plug in the sink. He stormed off into the living room and dropped himself onto the couch, his arms crossed tightly in front of his chest. Geralt wanted to say he looked like a child. It would be true, but Jaskier wouldn’t take that as a tease right now.

“But you haven’t given me any indication of what it is you would want, Geralt,” Jaskier insisted. He scowled at Geralt when Geralt followed after him and sat on the cushion beside Jaskier, but let Geralt take his hand and entangle their fingers.

“I would miss you if you left,” Geralt answered, kissing the back of Jaskier’s hand. “And I’d be disappointed if you turned this opportunity down. It’s not any easier a decision for me.”

Jaskier frowned, but he nodded. A moment later, he was scooting closer to Geralt and throwing his legs over Geralt’s lap. They were quiet for a long time, just enjoying the sounds of a silent, child-free house, as it would only remain for another 8 hours or so. Geralt didn’t want to imagine what it would sound like when Jaskier left. Because he had to. That was where this was all going. Jaskier had to choose his career, and they would just have to hope for the best.

“You want me to stay, don’t you?” Jaskier finally asked, tucking his chin into Geralt’s shoulder.

Geralt snorted. “If you’re going to trick me, you’ll have to do better than that.”

--

The house had been silent before. It was hardly the first time Geralt had it all completely to himself. This time, however, was different. Other silences had the promise that they would soon end, and Geralt would find himself back with his ever-moving daughter or his endlessly noisy musician. It had become a comfort, having all that movement and noise in the house.

Now it was just Geralt, for the foreseeable future. He stood in front of the garage door of his empty house after dropping Ciri off at Yennefer’s for the week. Jaskier had left earlier today for his tour, after lengthy goodbyes to both Ciri and Geralt. Geralt didn't want to open that door and walk into a home that was technically his own, and yet not.

There was nothing to be gained by standing outside the door, though. So Geralt took a deep breath, pushed the door open, walked inside....

...and found candles.

Geralt stopped, blinking dumbly at the lit candles in the otherwise dark entryway. They led to the side, around the corner and, presumably, up the stairs? Geralt didn’t dare let himself hope, but he certainly hadn’t placed them there, nor would he have lit the candles before leaving the house for an extended period of time. Instead of letting himself hope, or dwell too much at all, Geralt followed the trail.

They did, in fact, lead upstairs. To the closed door of the bedroom he shared with Jaskier. Geralt took another breath, then pushed the door open.

There Jaskier was, sitting on the end of the bed and smiling sheepishly up at Geralt.

“Jask, what are you--”

“You know, in all my back and forth, I ignored the most important thing,” Jaskier interrupted, standing up. He stepped across the short distance between them and took Geralt’s hands. The low lighting made him look even more beautiful than usual, and Geralt could just barely make out the flush of his cheeks. “I didn’t forget, because it was there, in the back of my mind. I just didn’t let myself think about it.”

“Jaskier, you’re supposed to be on a plane right now, what are you--”

“I tried. I got there, I was all ready to go, and then I just… couldn’t. It was all wrong.” He shook his head, and stepped impossibly closer. “I realized I left you behind. I’d never forgive myself if I got on that plane without you.”

“You know I can’t--”

“Then that means I can’t, either.” Jaskier leaned in, and pressed his lips to Geralt’s in a chaste kiss. “You’re the love of my life. When I picture how I want the rest of my life to go, maybe five years ago it would have included this tour. But now? Now, I’d be happy to be a nobody musician forever, because staying here, with you, is what I want.”

Relief washed over Geralt. He let go of Jaskier’s hands to wrap his arms around Jaskier’s middle and pull him in for the tightest hug he had ever given anyone. Jaskier hummed happily and leaned into the embrace, mirroring the way Geralt pressed his face into Jaskier’s neck.

“I had a feeling there was something you weren’t telling me,” Jaskier whispered some time later.

“I never want you to leave,” Geralt answered, feeling brave now that they were in the almost-dark. Jaskier was here and Jaskier was going to stay. Geralt could hold him all he wanted, because he wasn’t going anywhere.

[thelittleredheadedmusician]

First Lines

So @klaineharmony @wordshakerofgallifrey and @radioactivepigeons ​all tagged me to do this so uh here it is. This is NOT including academic stuff. But it IS including original work. 

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag some lovely people!

Hitch Hiker - my book:

It’s raining, hard enough to hit the windshield in fat drops though he can still clearly see the wet road ahead. Oliver isn’t speeding, in high school he would’ve flown around the curves out of town. But now? Coming home and in bad weather? He manages to stay just below the speed limit. And a good thing too.

I don’t want to linger any longer - DCU, Batman, Green Arrow:

Alfred was leery of the summer camp. Bruce went to public school partially because of Martha's pointed remarks regarding democracy and public education, partly because of her pointed remarks regarding Thomas's own time at boarding schools and prep schools surrounded by equally rich and entitled boys. Alfred never said anything at the time, it wasn't his place, and would never say anything now but, he whole heartedly believed both. Especially after his own childhood in private schools, even if the times and the British and American systems were very different. Regardless, Bruce was remaining in public school with all the trials it entailed. Including the socializing problem.

untitled post final chapter short for Hitch Hiker:

“I’m so glad I get to be here for this,” Eve practically flung herself onto the couch, bouncing slightly before settling. She’d just gotten dropped off after rehearsal and was miraculously still teeming with energy.

Give Me the Stars - an original short story:

Morgan leaned closer to the mirror, shifting her hair so she could examine the new growth near her scalp. It was a dark, almost dull brown and the scalp itself didn’t seem red or irritated. She half combed her fingers through it while she shook her hand loose of the strands. Where the few centimeters of brown ended, a shifting cascade of colors began. A swirl or wave or reflection of green and blue and purple with notes of black and pink and sometimes silver. Like an oil slick made tangible. Except, after two months it’d lost its glimmer, its shine. Which didn’t really matter since Morgan spent about seventy percent of the time tucking it up under one hat or another.

glitter and gold - DCU:

She hadn’t been expecting the second explosion. None of them had been expecting the second explosion. Luckily, they were all clear of the debris but Steph’s ears were ringing. A gut feeling said her comm had been knocked out but it’s not like she’d be able to tell right now anyway. She swayed, unsteady. But Batgirl had to worry about the people around her, not herself. A cursory glance looked as though the block’s residents had gotten back far enough before the blast hit. Leaving them covered in dust but unharmed.

five phones on the table - DCU, Titans:

The long table with its numerous chairs was, by proximity to the kitchen, a dining table but due to the nature of the building it occupied doubled as a meeting and strategy table. The small net, paddles, and light plastic balls stored in an innocuous box in the kitchen meant it tripled as a ping pong table.

Adulting Fail - DCU, Titans, Nightwing:

“RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON,” Donna says and for an instant he wonders how a woman who has never met his mother can sound exactly like her. But then again, Donna has always been and will always be his older sister, never mind the fact neither are sure if it’s by three months or three thousand years.

Seventh Floor Walkup - DCU, Titans, Nightwing:

Dick may slightly regret asking his friends to help him move. See, he didn’t have the funds for real movers but had promised pizza if they helped. Except Roy and Garth could each eat a whole pizza, Donna could eat two, and Wally half a baker’s dozen. Which left Dick carrying eleven boxes of pizza to his seventh-floor walkup.

Et tu Brute - DCU, Flash, Batman:

“What the-?” Barry shifted his momentum with ease, turning from where he’d been running towards the Batcomputer and Bruce waiting there for him to instead run towards the metallic object low to the ground and glowing a dull green he’d spotted out of the corner of his eye.

you were shunned and burned your cradle - Newsies:

Being a changeling in New York City hurts. It makes his skin itch and his lungs burn and his eyes water. From the iron that surrounds him, fills the very air along with the smoke. If he’s not careful when he reaches out or brushes against something his skin comes away with a sharp, searing scar.

The Devil Wears What? - DCU, Hellblazer, Zatanna:

“What is this?” John slurred, arm flopping towards the television screen.

The Hattrick - DCU, Green Arrow, Hellblazer:

There is a strong possibility that Mia is in hell. It’d be vaguely poetic and certainly fitting if her personal hell were an empty warehouse. The fact John Constantine is here definitely sells the idea.

Inhouse House Party - Les Miserables: 

“I thought we agreed that we weren’t doing Halloween this year?” Enjolras half grumbled, half called up the steps. “In light of the fact that there is a global pandemic and we’ve been responsibly quarantining and social distancing this whole time.” Despite his complaints, he still fixed the ridiculous headband he wore as part of his costume. The halved wiffle ball glued onto it made pretty decent looking fly eyes, but the weight was weird and the whole thing kept slipping as a result.

Second Time is Coincidence - DCU, Green Arrow, Hellblazer:

“Oh c’mon,” Mia groaned, slumping against the bonds that currently had her suspended from the warehouse ceiling. “Not you again!”

Three Musketeers - DCU, Batfam:

Bristol was technically in Gotham City limits. Though the gilted mansions and private woods with pastures and stables seemed like a whole other world in comparison. The residents liked to think so too, especially because – despite Gotham’s robust public transportation system – it was almost impossible to reach the rich suburb from the city proper. It was because they lived in this separate world that Bristol’s wealthy residents often fought to receive special treatment or even secede from the city all together.

Deal? Deal. - DCU, Hellblazer, Zatanna:

“No,” John whined, drawing it out into about six syllables. He stretched his arm out, nearly falling off the couch in the process, but Zatanna just pushed the half-empty glass of whiskey further away from the edge of the coffee table and out of his reach.

Pumpkin Guts - Les Miserables:

There had been strange noises coming from the kitchen all afternoon. Combeferre was staunchly ignoring them because he’s trying to finish reading this journal article before anyone else came home. Having Courfeyrac in the vague direction of behind him and doing who knew what all is more than enough of a distraction. Besides, Ferre can fairly well ignore the sounds coupled with Courf’s slightly off-key humming of Nightmare Before Christmas.

Sunrise Shadows - DCU, Batgirl, Starman:

It was late, or early depending on your perspective, and Steph was that bone deep tired that came after a fight to save the fate of the world. Which was fine, they’d won, but she didn’t really know where in the world she was and Steph really just wanted to crawl into bed. Maybe take her suit off first. Possibly slap some Neosporin on her cuts and scrapes. But mostly sleep.

The Good Stuff - Newsies:

Kath pulled her favorite armchair into the doorway of her apartment. The antique wingback her friends had helped her liberate from a thrift store in Queens and then clean and reupholster. It was, undeniably, too heavy to be shoved across the hardwood like that but Kath wanted to be comfy. And there were the little felt things on the legs to protect her floor.

Salt and Iron - DCU, Batgirl: 

Steph pried her bedroom window open before slipping in and closing it firmly behind herself. Then locked it for good measure. Sure, she’d seen some weirdness since first putting on a mask, and just a few months into her time as Batgirl she’d even fought off some Segway riding vampires with Kara. But this was different. For one, they weren’t real vampires but Dracula from an old film brought to life. For another, it looked like literal hell had overtaken Gotham.

Well, I either have really long opening lines or my understanding of what constitutes opening “lines” is skewed. Also my formatting didn’t always past so poo on tumblr for that. Hmm, this is mostly Halloween fics but also fairly indicative of what I write which is nice. I like that I start with dialogue so often, it’s weirdly fitting for me as a person. The cold open musing on Gotham’s social, political, economic structure at Three Musketeers isn’t my favorite but I am obsessed with it. I think Second Time is Coincidence is my favorite because Mia’s response to John is the only response anyone should ever have to John Constantine. 

All of my friends have already been tagged~ 

[msbluebell]

what about a "you start war, you face consequences AU"? At the end of BE Route, Edelgard thinks have achieved her goal. But everything go wrong! First, Claude, who has survived, becomes the king of Almyra and declare war to her to the Empire . And he's VERY powerful. Also some former nobles of Alliance and Kingdom don't accept the reunification and start a rebellion with the former knights of Seiros . The peace wil not happen any soon and a lot of people die or suffer or join the rebellion 1-2

2-2. Finally, Felix has survived and becomes the feral guy and decides to avenge Dimitri (his best friend), Rodrigue (his dad) and Sylvain (his lover) by killing the black eagles one by one and nobody (even Byleth) can stop him, no matter what they do. And Byleth has not the power of Sothis anymore. They can only watch everything falling apart, while being powerless. They can only watch their friends die by Felix's hands, Claude taking back the Alliance AND the Kingdom, ect...

This is actually what would have most likely happened if the Black Eagle Route didn’t have an Deus Ex Machina ending and the Crests and God powers didn’t disappear for no reason. I have made no secret of the fact that Black Eagles is my least favorite Route (yes, I’m including Church Route in this), and the lack of actually having to reform and change the system thanks to magical convenience is one of the reasons. 

Nobles will not give up their crest fixation just because Edelgard hates crests. And without crest disappearing, it is unlikely they will take to Edelgard’s reforms. She may end up turning her own allies against her. Especially ones that don’t believe in her cause and just gave up because they didn’t want to be killed.

Also, it is a very, very, very dumb move to spare Claude in the Black Eagles Route. No matter what, he is a political opponent that proved he’s 1) very manipulative 2) very good at thinking on his feet and gathering resources. He should have died just to eliminate the potential for later rebellious uprisings, even if Byleth and Edelgard didn’t know anything about his ties to Almyra. Looking objectively at Claude’s goals and the ending of Black Eagles Route, yeah, he still has a dream of uniting Fodlan and Almyra. And unlike Fodlan, Almyra isn’t suffering from being war torn for five years. There IS a chance he’d come in take over, especially if any of his friends died in the battle. 

Point is, Black Eagles Route has a lot of potential for mess if the crests don’t vanish (which I am so fixated on. The CHURCH didn’t make the crests, so why did they disappear? I interpret Byleth’s powers disappearing because they choose to relinquish them, which is a slap in the face to Sothis btw Byleth, but why did the CRESTS disappear when the Church fell? They had nothing to do with their creation! Ugh.)

(Black Eagles, much as I dislike their Route based on their actions and lack of self-awareness, still deserved a better written ending.)

But I’m ranting. Let’s get on to the prompt with Consequences AU:

I’ve spoken in another post about how Byleth, as I interpret them, more accidentally sided with the Black Eagles than anything. It would be the same in this AU, accidentally burning their bridges when they saved Edelgard in the tomb. Then they were forced to see the path through to the end because they couldn’t go back to anyone else, and they DID disagree with Rhea and distrust the Church, so maybe Edelgard is right...?

It was foolish to hope, in hindsight.

Rhea going mad was something that they expected, but they didn’t think their own actions would be the breaking point that drove her to such insanity. And they can’t erase the image of Dimitri kneeling in the rain as an axe meets his flesh. So many of their students died...but that was just...pitiful.

Edelgard assures him that it was for a better future, that all the death and sacrifice now will mean less suffering later.

But it’s hard to look at the people suffering in the NOW and think it’s better for the future. It’s like Edelgard is so fixated on the world that will be she forgot to take care of the world they’re in, or maybe she didn’t, and the people around her just don’t seem as real to her as the people in the future she’s envisioned.

Byleth’s first clue that everything was going wrong should have been their hair and eye color returning to it’s original state.

Sothis and they...the both of them have always been one, whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing. They are a single entity that was separated and then made whole again. But now there is an emptiness inside of them, and the emotions they’ve developed are fast fading again. They’re becoming numb once again as they lose the part of themselves that was her, and they don’t understand why.

Soon, they even stop caring.

Edelgard insisted that it was a wonderful sign. That they pointed their blades towards the heavens and won, so her path must be the righteous path.

Byleth no longer cares enough to correct her.

Their students, the Black Eagles, frown more when they speak now. Byleth has lost their emotions, so the fondness is ebbing away again. They’re distressed as they lose their teacher, and Byleth tries to pretend they care until even that seems pointless.

They follow Edelgard because they know that’s what they decided to do, not because they care. They’re too muted now, and even guilt is slipping away as time erodes more and more of Sothis from their very being.

Then the murders start to happen.

It starts when Dorathea was found outside of the Opera House. Her body had been cut down by the singular strike of a sword, left to rot in the street by an unknown assassin. The Black Eagles mourn, and Edelgard swears justice will be paid. The guards are doubled in the city and the hunt is on.

It doesn’t keep Fernidand from dying later. His entire platoon was killed, a mix of sword wounds and Reason magic leaving behind a field of corpses. Witnesses say it was a pale, dark haired, man. Just one. With an unused lance tied to his back. Something about revenge, the witnesses say. For a father, a best friend, a brother, a sister, and a lover.

A year goes by and the guards get lazy again. It seems the assassin had reached their goal or died in the process.

Until Almyra declares war.

Byleth gives their advice as it is sought, but no longer cares enough to see to the personal welfare of the troops themselves. It’s...demoralizing, to say the least.

Then Berneddeta dies in her room, a knife left behind, the signal of House Gautier’s crest carved into the hilt of the blade. A warning.

There are no Gautiers left, though, they were all killed, so it can only be Felix, Byleth explains to Edelgard, because there is no one else left to avenge House Gautier, and Felix was a childhood friend of both Dimitri, who is dead, Ingrid, who died defending Dimitri, and Sylvain, who also died in that battle.

Edelgard puts a bounty on his head.

But her troops are too spread thin with Almyra’s sudden and unrelenting assault. With another war on the horizon, many nobles that don’t care for Edelgard or were taken over surrender to Almyra without hesitation. Fodlan is once again halved, and with it Edelgard’s forces.

Then Lindhardt is killed by Felix, this time with a note: “I’m coming for you Edelgard.”

Claude, it seems, is the leader of the Almyran forces, and declares quite happily that he’s going to make Fodlan a part of his country. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes when he says it though, and he’s barely holding back heavy disgust.

Byleth can’t help but think of how foolish they are when they have sentiment.

Byleth also advises Edelgard to surrender.

“Not you.” Edelgard begs, knuckles gripped against the table, “Of all people, you cannot abandon me.”

But the Byleth she wants is long gone. Or, actually, they never existed. But if if they had her dream killed them until nothing but a numb shell was left behind. Byleth, as the are, is under no illusions of what they are now. A walking corpse, with all that made them human faded into the back with a sleeping Goddess that was once themselves. 

Casper, who swore he wouldn’t let another one of his friends die, falls next. Felix, it seemed, has sided with Claude and is now leading the lands that was formally Faerghus. The people of the Alliance and Fearghus help rebel, throwing riots so large that they cannot be suppressed.

Petra is gone shortly after, taken by riots.

“FOR GOOD KING DIMITRI!” Cry out the people of Faerghus as they flood the streets of Fhiridad. Imperial soldiers are pushed back by people not even wearing armor, such is their numbers, and when actual soldiers come Faerghus is no longer a Dukedom of the Empire.

“FOR THE NOBLE CAUSE!” Cry the people of the Alliance as they’re lead by those still left of the Golden Deer. Hilda’s older brother has taken the helm and lead them to victory.

When they finally take Enbarr Byleth isn’t fighting. They don’t care, and watch from Edelgard’s side as they march her palace. They warn her to surrender, but she claims she’ll die first.

Felix walks in, and cuts down Hubert. Claude walks in behind him, hands on his hips, looking up at Edelgard and Byleth with a cold smile, “Did you get what you wanted?”

“I don’t want things.” Byleth answers, emotionless, “I haven’t since the power Sothis gave faded away, and I was left incomplete again.”

“Sounds awful, hope all this was worth that.” Claude answers as Edelgard’s eyes widen in horror.

“Perhaps if I could still feel, that would hurt.” Byleth answers him, “But I can only remember what emotions felt like, the experience is lost to me now.”

“...wow, that almost makes killing you feel like I’m being merciful.” Claude remarks as Felix glares from beside him, “Teach, why did you DO this to yourself?”

“I had meant to take Edelgard prisoner.” Byleth confesses, “I was simply run out and had nowhere else to go. Helping her seemed like the logical choice at the time, but it’s strange, I can’t see the logic in it now.”

Claude originally meant to take Byleth prisoner, if they could somehow be captured. Interrogate them and whatnot, allow their former students to air their grievances before they were executed for treachery. 

Not that just feels too cruel when Byleth was apparently already killed long ago.

So, when the final battle ends, Claude tells Felix to end Byleth.

Byleth never even lifts their sword.

[supercasey]

Werewolf Fire, a piece of writing by me

Not quite a poem, but some feelings that have been on my mind for a long time now. I dunno if the quarantine is what brought this out of me, but fuck it, I need to scream and with nowhere to run and hide, I guess I’m being vulnerable on main. Under a readmore because I may be raw, but not THAT raw.

Werewolf Fire by Theodore JJ REDACTED

Love is an oddity to me. It's not that I don't feel love at all- I feel love towards my friends, my family, my pets, my fellow humans- but love in a romantic setting... it just doesn't happen for me, at least, as far as I can tell I doesn't.

I think I've been trying to fall in love for a very long time. There was a boy named Adam in sixth grade, and when my best friend told me she had a crush on him, I told her I also had a crush on him; I was lying. Nonetheless, this was my first attempt, and I really did try to fall in love with him; I took up reading the Percy Jackson series, as it was his favorite, which sparked my love of Greek Mythology and teen coming of age stories involving super powers, but it wasn't love. Besides, he went to another middle school after we graduated sixth grade, so it wasn't like we had a lot of time left together.

I tried again in ninth grade, with my friend Nick. He was funny, polite, and overall one of the kindest people I've ever met, so if I had to fall in love with anyone, it was gonna be him. I knew I liked him, that's for sure, but... well, he started dating our mutual friend Emily, so I gave up. Months later, they broke up because Emily moved away, and my best friend suggested that I ask Nick out. But I didn't, because I thought it would be scummy to date him right after Emily left. Years passed, Sarah told me that Nick liked me back, we danced at prom, and I kissed him on the cheek. Then I graduated, and didn't keep contact, mostly because I'm bad at those sorts of things.

I tried again in eleventh grade, while I was still wondering if Nick was the one. This time it was a girl, Cassidy, and goddamn, was she beautiful. The other kids in class whispered about how she used too much make-up, was faker than nylon, was too popular to be in Theatre class, but I couldn't help but like her. I think, out of all these loves, she was the closest to being real; we were cut from the same cloth, both having hippy mothers that everyone else loved but we resented, and we bonded over it. I used all my birthday money to buy her a protection necklace, as we both believed in ghosts and the like, and she hugged me and said I was her best friend. Then I graduated, and again, I lost contact, but with her it hurt even worse than losing Nick.

I tried so, so hard the fourth time. I tried to love a friend, a girl I won't even name, and although she hurt me and I'm half convinced I was exaggerating the pain she inflicted on me, it was my worst attempt at love yet, and didn't even come close to becoming true.

That was almost two years ago, and I haven't tried again since. Part of me kind of wants to, as I can't help but think highly of love and in it's many forms. I mean, honestly, who wouldn't? The very thought of being in love, of finding the other half- or many halves, in some cases- of your soul, or staying with someone forever and always... it sounds lovely, and I want it so bad, but it feels like a shooting star that's just out of reach, appearing so close yet so far, and even as everyone I know leaps up and catches the stars as they fall, I always manage to miss, much to everyone else's confusion and worry.

I want to fall in love so badly, it makes my bones ache and my eyes wet annoyingly often. It seems so easy, but really, it's so hard. It's hard watching everyone you know fall in love, and yet it just... doesn't happen for me.

Sometimes I think I can't fall in love because of my upbringing- Mom and Dad got divorced when I was ten, and before then I thought that they were the epitome of true love- but this can't be the case. After all, Dane has had a partner for quite awhile now, and I'd honestly be surprised if he doesn't marry them someday. Alyx has dated other boys several times, and he seems content with it. Lisa just fell in love, and her girlfriend makes her so incredibly happy, it's adorable. All my siblings have found love, and yet me, the youngest of the pack, the runt of the litter, can't seem to fall in love.

I've been told I might be aromantic. Hell, even I think I might be aromantic... but I don't want to be. I know that sounds horrible, and probably makes me an arophobe, but I can't help it. I want to fall in love more than anything else, and it feels cruel and terrible to take this human right from my heart, to strip this beautiful, intricate tattoo from my bones. Who decided I should be born this way? Who deemed it humane? Is this nature vs nurture, or something else entirely? What am I, if I cannot fall in love?

I want platonic love to be enough, and sometimes it is. Spending quality time with my Dad, watching TV and building Megablocks with Lisa, hanging out and drawing with Dane, talking about writing with Alyx, those things make me happy, and I love my family members so much. It's not just my family, either! Discussing writing and sharing interesting/funny posts with West, talking on the phone with Jason, watching anime with Sarah, these things make me happy, too.

And yet, I can never remain sated, can never make myself satisfied with this lifestyle. I feel like a werewolf, staying calm and content for a majority of the month, but when the full moon hits- the teasing of love, of something I'll never feel or understand- I scream my throat raw and lose myself to a bloodlust that will never end, will never stop. I am forever wandering, tempered yet so very hungry, begging for an end, an answer, but every antidote that's forced down my throat is temporary at best and poison at worst. I can't even tell if this is normal anymore, it just fucking hurts, like a wound that just won't heal, no matter how well I tend to it.

Something that feels akin to a double-edged sword for me is writing romance. I absolutely love doing it, love giving something to the characters that I will never have, and expressing what I wish I could through them. I've been told I'm good at writing romance- good at the communication, the intricacies, the little moments of contentment they share- and I don't know how to feel about it. Should I be proud? Should I be mad? I don't even know anymore. How can I write something so well, yet not feel it in my soul? I'm highly empathetic, I know this, and yet, this is the one thing I can't absorb, the one feeling I will never truly understand or feel.

I don't much care anymore that I'm asexual... if I ever did, I don't remember it. I'm fine with never having intercourse, and from what I've read, it's not necessary to make a relationship work. And yet... how do relationships work when you can't fall in love, either? Yes, platonic and familial relationships can still exist of course, and as loving and warm as they are, I still end up freezing in the winter. I'm cold, shivering as I await the roaring fire of romance, and yet, no matter how much timber and dry leaves I gather, no matter how many hours I spend with a flint and steel, struggling to light the smallest of embers with my shaking fingers, getting brief glimpses of sparks every so often, the fire won't come to life, and I'm left with only piles and piles of fuzzy, soft blankets... but they're not a fire, and I damn well know it.

This must all seem so strange, so exaggerated, but I'm a writer, and writing my feelings, it's the only way I know how to express this pain, this misery. I wish I could fall in love, but I don't think I can, and that, above all else, is what's killing me.

[mentallyinwalmart]

Cressworth Modern Au- Dear Liza

I have a HC that even in a modern setting, Audrey Rose would still write letters to Liza when she was at Uni. Here are some of those letters throughout the first term of school~

Dear Liza,

Well the first week at Uni has been an absolute whirlwind. I miss father and uncle dearly (not to mention you of course). But I have made lots of new friends. You would love my roomate, Ileana. Noah from my anatomy class, and Anna from psychology are really cool too, and I feel lucky to have met such great people so early on. Noah and Anna are in my major study group, along with some stuck up bloke called Andrei and a few other people I don’t really know. It is a good group, all of us are very determined (though it is only the first week).

I have to tell you, Liza, the absolute funniest thing happened at orientation over the weekend. You remember Uncle’s summer intern? For the life of me I can’t remember his name, but, well he tripped coming down the steps to come over and greet uncle and I. I swear to you Liza, I almost died trying not to laugh out loud. Uncle says he is very bright, and that I will probably run into him at some point this term, seeing as he is in my same major, but so far, he seems to have disappeared. I spaced on asking uncle for his name, so it would seem perhaps I won’t encounter him again.

I am going to a party tonight, and I’m wearing that dress you made for me before I left. Ileana says I look ravishing, so cheers to you!

But enough about me, how is the school of design? How are your classes and flatmates? I want to know everything.

Love always,

Audrey Rose

--

Dear Audrey Rose,

The school of design is amazing! Paris is beautiful, and my flatmates are absolutely incredible! You must visit, because you would just die for the culture here. It is so different than home, even if it is just a train ride away.

Anna and Ileana sound just lovely. I think you’d get along swimmingly with my favorite flatmate Daciana. She has the most iconic grunge/vampy look, and it perfectly compliments my summer child vibe. We lovingly refer to one another as our “other halves”. I am dying for you to meet her. And perhaps one day soon you might! She has a brother who actually is enrolled at your school! I’ll be sure to ask if he’s the annoying Andrei. How funny would that be!

But anyway, Daci wants to take the train down to London to visit him in a few weeks time and unless something major happens between us in that time, I’m going to accompany her! It will be so wonderful, cousin!

But now that all that about me is out of the way, let’s talk about your encounter with Uncle’s (super hot) summer apprentice. WHAT LUCK AUDREY ROSE!!! I vividly remember the time the two of you met briefly, and how flustered you were when he walked away. Deny it all you want, but I know you were smitten.

If you see him again, I insist, for the sake of my romantic soul, that you speak to him, instead of laughing at him.

Love you, see you soon,

Liza

Ps- his name is Thomas you absolute fool

--

Dear Liza,

Before I get to my questions about Daci, and about the new aesthetic you’ve seemingly assigned yourself in the few short weeks we’ve been apart, I want to address how ridiculous your claims are.

I have zero feelings for Thomas. Except perhaps feelings of annoyance. True, I found him quite attractive when we met last summer, but i find plenty of people attractive without being “smitten” as you so foolishly put it.

And even if I had been over the summer (which I was not), it is surely gone after working with him this last week. Thomas was a surprise addition to my study group starting at the beginning of this week, and he has proven himself to be most insufferable.

Who has to be right all the time?

And dear Liza, I do not mean “stick to their guns even when they’re wrong” right, I mean, actually, genuinely correct, every damn time. It’s positively infuriating!

Now that we’ve established that the only thing I want between me and Thomas is a brick wall, tell me about your “summer child” aesthetic. Last time I saw you, you were neck deep in prep chic. What has changed?

Daci sounds positively lovely, and I cannot wait to meet her and to see you both.

Anna and I went on this unbelievable night hike last weekend, we went through the forest to the old ruins atop the hill. I’ll have to take you when you come to visit.

Ileana has a friend that goes to your school! She wouldn’t give me a name, saying since it’s such a small school she worries you’d know her, and is keeping her past girlfriends a secret from me ://

Hopefully someday soon I’ll get it out of her. It sounds like she was something special.

Love you, and I excitedly await your visit.

Audrey Rose

--

Dear Audrey Rose,

First off, I am, and have always been, a summer child. It’s too grey in London for me to fully unleash it. But now here, in Paris, it is lively and warm enough for me to embrace who I really am. You just like to imagine I was a prep because your taste is not nearly refined enough to understand my unique look. (Love you cousin, even if you have the fashion sense of an old woman ;) )

I can’t believe I not only go to school with Ileana’s ex, but also the sister of someone at your school! It’s fate! I’m not sure yet if what kind, but it’s something.

As for Thomas, he sounds infuriating. But then again, isn’t “hot-but-annoying” exactly the criteria for a hate sex partner? I’m just saying, maybe it’s time to ditch the sweaters for something a little more showy and get yourself some action ;)

Love you, please don’t disown me for my foul mouth.

Kisses,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

I made the mistake of reading this in the mail room right after I opened my post box.

And who should I smack right into as my face was burning so hot I was worried my blood may boil?

Thomas.

Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was?!

Not that I care what he thinks of me, I would’ve been embarrassed if I’d run into anyone like that.

He asked what I was reading, and because I’m bad at making up lies, I panicked and just mumbled something about having to go.

He had the most infuriating smirk, I swear his already full lips probably doubled in size.

What an absolute buffoon.

Later that night I found him sitting in the (usually vacant) seat besides me in forensics. It’s such a big lecture, I didn’t even know he was in the class. I wasn’t about to ask him to move, even I’m not that harsh. He spent most of the class doodling around the edge of his notebook (he was the only one in the whole lecture who didn’t have a laptop) and yet somehow, he always had the best theories.

Though I don’t like him, I plan to glean everything I can from having him as a new seat mate. He is quite intelligent, but more than that he can insert himself into the situations. It’s fascinating the way his mind works, I intend to steal that trait from him.

As for trading in my sweaters? I will never. They are my truest love. And as for hate sex? Absolutely not. I’m not letting someone I hate be my first time.

Love, your fashion forward cousin,

Audrey Rose

--

My Dearest (fashionably challenged) cousin,

So what you’re saying, is if it wasn’t your first time, you would take the handsome Thomas straight to bed? You little slut.

Daci and I have set a date for our trip. It is to be two weeks from tomorrow, for neither of us have classes on fridays. We will take the evening train, and be with you by midnight!

Her brother is to pick us up from the station in his car, and drive us to your school. I can’t wait to see you!!!

My whole heart is bursting at the thought (just as yours is bursting with loooooove for Thomas)

Seriously Audrey Rose, no one can write that much about someone they “hate so much”.

I know just how frank you can be, and if you truly disliked him as much as you say, you’d have told him to move, or simply say somewhere else.

That and you wouldn’t have gone into such detail about how intelligent he is and how much you think you can learn from him (not to mention how full his lips are!!).

Stop denying it, and just embrace the fact that you are not only attracted to his face, but his intellect.

Can’t wait to tease you about it in person,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

You’re wrong.

Enough about Thomas (though he did bring me a cup of tea to forensics lecture last night when I mentioned earlier that afternoon at study group how tired I was, and how I didn’t have a break until after our night lecture).

I don’t know why I felt compelled to tell you that, maybe just to do him the justice of demonstrating maybe he isn’t all bad.

But still, besides that courtesy he remains an annoyance.

I cannot wait to see you. Ileana and I have found the most wonderful little pub with this incredible live band. They’re from America, and they play this music called “surfer punk”. It is, the strangest thing, but I think you will love them. And if what you’ve said about Daci is true, she will too.

Oh, and speaking of women at your school, Ileana’s ex is apparently “the one who got away”. She told me and Anna the other night when we were all hanging out together in our room. How they only broke up because they were going to different schools. It was the saddest story.

Please don’t stop being my best friend just because you are a Parisian fashion queen surrounded by other Parisian fashion queens.

Love, your bff,

Audrey Rose

--

Dear Audrey Rose,

First of all, unless someone at school with me here can become better than you, they will never replace you as my best friend/future maid of honor. And spoiler alert, they won’t.

Daci is wonderful, but she will never replace you, no matter how alike we are, you complete me as my polar opposite in some aspects, and yet my mirror image in others.

Wow that was pretty, maybe I ought to be a creative writing major.

In regards to your little Thomas situation, i have been teasing you mercilessly, but in all honesty, that tea thing was very sweet. I think he may have a thing for you too. (Even if it’s just a “id smash if given the opportunity” kinda deal)

This feels like it’s going somewhere, I am thrilled to be experiencing this iconic love story second hand.

your bff,

Liza

Ps- if you get to insist Daci and my other fashion friends don’t replace you than I must insist that Anna and Ileana never replace me in your heart. If I find out you confess your feelings about Thomas to them before me, I will be infuriated. (That is mostly a joke, but in every joke there is a little bit of truth.)

Love youuuuu,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

Of course no one will ever replace you. You’re stuck having me as a best friend forever.

Now that we’re done with that nonsense, I have so much to fill you in on.

We just got slapped with this massive midterm project that is due the day you leave, so naturally I am going to try and get it done before you come. I assumed I was working alone because Thomas didn’t bother asking if I might want to work with him, and I don’t know anyone else in that class. But two days ago, there comes a knock on my door. Naturally, I assumed it was Anna or that Illy had forgotten her keys, so I opened the door.

And who should be leaned against the door frame? You guessed it Liza, Thomas. He handed me a to go cup of Earl Grey and then strode right in like he owned the place.

“Messier than I expected.” was all he said before settling himself at my desk, spreading his notes across my own and launching into his take on the case.

He can be quite captivating when he puts his mind to it, and despite wanting to tell him off for barging in, the longer he talked, the more clear it became that our talents would go better together, and the only way I could get this project done on time would be if we worked together.

So I let him stay, and we have spent the last two days together working day and night trying to finish this. It seems to be driving him mad that he can’t crack it as easily as he can most things in that class. I think that must be what is suddenly making him more tolerable.

Only eight days til I see you, dear cousin. Love always,

Audrey Rose

--

Audrey Rose!!!

You are so smitten!!! When I tell you I canNOT!!! Don’t even try to deny it Audrey Rose!

I have, of course, been keeping Daci in the loop about you and Thomas’ whole “will they or won’t they” scene and she agrees with me that if his actions before hadn’t made it clear he was into you, what he pulled when he came to your room absolutely is. She says you should just make a move, and while I absolutely agree, I told her I bet you wouldn’t because that isn’t very you.

Prove us both wrong?

But even if nothing else comes of it, at least you will (hopefully) get everything done before I get in this weekend! I want every moment with you I can get! Daci and I have the whole thing planned out (of course your American band has made the schedule, Daci is very excited), you, me, her and her brother are going to be like a little posse this weekend, and it’s going to be amazing! And, if Thomas gets jealous you’re spending so much time with another man, you can just invite him. I don’t mind ;)

I’ll see you in six days Audrey!!!!

Love you to America and back,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

I had not intended on writing you again before you visited, but a LOT happened tonight.

I penned this letter when I got back from Thomas’ room at three in the morning and honestly? The only reason I did was so that I wouldn’t think tonight’s events were some kind of strange fever dream.

We were in my room working on our midterm project to no avail, just as we have every night this week. It was infuriating. But then, suddenly I had this epiphany, and moved everything around, and it all made sense! I yanked Thomas over and I swear, he lit up like a firefly.

Before I knew what was happening, Liza, he had taken me in his arms and pressed his lips to mine. He tasted like chocolate, which mostly attribute to the mocha he’d been nursing all evening.It was the best kiss I have ever had, he put Will Blackburn from high school to shame, but he pulled away much too quickly.

His cheeks were flushed and his eyes had a mix of hunger and nerves. He opened his mouth, I can only assume to apologize, but before he could get a word out, my desire overcome me. I let my hands run through his curls as we kissed again, and as soon as it was clear I wanted it as much as he did, he was lifting me up and pressing me against the wall. My shirt was off faster than you can say “abracadabra” and his lips were making a sweet trail down my collar bone to my chest as I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt.

I had finally gotten his shirt off, and was running my hands over his abs, my legs wrapped around his waist as he left little love bites on my collar bones and upper chest until suddenly, I heard Illy’s voice outside and her key jingling in the door.

And then, the fire in my core was replaced with icy panic. Luckily, Thomas managed to get into the bathroom before she came in, and I managed to pull my shirt back on before Illy got in the door. I explained as casually as I could that Thomas was on his way out, he had just needed to use the bathroom.

When he reentered the room a few moments later, I was so worried he would give us away, but he looked perfectly put together. BUT LIZA THIS IS WHERE THINGS TRULY GOT INSANE!

HE GREETED ILLY LIKE AN OLD FRIEND!!!

Because apparently?? Thomas’ sister is Illy’s ex, and none other than Daciana Cresswell, your mother fucking roomate.

When I tell you I was floored Liza, I mean it.

Then this boy had the audacity to leave like nothing had happened. But at this point, I had nothing to lose, so after a few moments sorting through details and getting caught up with Ileana, I went up to his room to confront him.

He explained he had put it together when he saw me and Uncle because his sister had been telling him about you, her flatmate named Eliza Wadsworth.

You’d think I would be more upset that he had kept me in the dark, wouldn’t you? But surprisingly, I was not. I guess you were right, Liza. I think I have been smitten since he first stumbled down the steps at orientation.

He seemed nervous I would be angry he had held out on me, but when I told him I wasn’t, it’s like he let down a facade and suddenly he was a whole new person. Unfortunately there wasn’t much fooling around after that (besides the considerable ass grabbing that came with my kiss goodnight) because we both agreed finishing the midterm to be most important that way we can spend the most time with you guys this weekend.

He walked me back to my room despite me insisting he didn’t have to, and taunted me with another kiss, and the promise of taking me on a real date tomorrow night, ‘in the time we would have spent on the project you so brilliantly solved tonight’.

I cannot wait to see you, dearest cousin.

Love,

Audrey Rose Wadsworth

Ps- I will be with Thomas when he picks you up on Thursday night :)

~~~~~

Hope you all enjoyed! This is probably my favorite fic I have ever written!!!! I have decided it is going to inspire a tiny mini series of fic’s, so there will be at least two more coming 

Thanks, as always, for reading, and let me know if you want to be tagged as I post the next ones in this series

xx

[littlemulattokitten]

Dating App Conundrums

Alright so I’ve been planning to do this for a while, and may make a thing out of it just to chronicle the adventure from single to hopefully not, but who knows. 

Basically I decided to research a few dating apps and try them out, since I’m the type of person who’s content to stay home, but also only likes going out with a friend or small group (not alone) - therefore my chances of meeting people are probably in the negatives without dating services like the ones I’m currently on.

This post will probably end up being both a review of some of these apps as well as a master shitpost detailing the adventures of a straight female attempting to find a straight male to date online. And I know Tumblr well enough that at least half the people who read this will have yet another reason to be proud of their not straight orientation. Because good fucking lord the nonsense I’ve seen.

Storytime begins below the cut. This isn’t going to be short. That’s your warning. It will probably be funny at some points though. It’s funny to live it, at least. And I may break it into parts, Idk yet.

Let’s get a few things out of the way first.

Until this experiment, I’d never used dating apps ever. I knew of them. Hated them on principle (dislike them even more now, but we’ll get into that later) and wanted nothing to do with them. I knew a few people who were happily married to a Match.com or OKCupid match but aside from that – I’d never even downloaded Tinder like everyone else I knew in HS and college.

I haven’t actually dated anyone since my first semester of college. On purpose. I broke off my engagement to my elementary school sweetheart (thankfully we are still good friends and our friendship recovered from that near disaster) and I just wanted to focus on myself for a while.

The small handful of relationships I have had that lasted longer than 6 months taught me a lot about what I want in my ideal mate. The one or two less-than-6-months-barely-relationships I had in high school taught me A LOT about what I will never put up with from people.

My “type” isn’t reflective of my dating history. I’ve gotten to the point with these apps where I’m combining their shallow-indorsing metrics with my own personal preferences. Basically going through an aesthetic checklist then scanning through their profile to see if the actual person is equally pretty.

Spoiler, I have to swipe left A LOT.

I’m a very particular person. I’m very introverted and I hate when someone makes conversation harder than it has to be. I can hold a conversation. I just refuse to be the only one putting effort into it. (This makes more sense later)

I’m beyond fed up with dating app culture but my perfect or close enough to perfect guy has gotta exist so most of my accounts will remain I fucking guess.

I’m not necessarily looking for Mr. Forever. I’ll gladly keep him if I find him, but I’m also not looking for a relationship that I know will be temporary. I don’t do things by halves. I want something solid, whether it lasts forever or not depends on a lot of things.

I CAN’T EMOTIONALLY MULTITASK. I can really only give one person my full interest and attention at a time, which doesn’t bode well for these apps bc you gotta be able to bounce form one to the next no matter how excited you were about someone. These apps fucking suck.

Okay. Now let’s begin properly.

I started with Bumble. Yes. I know. Introverted female starting on a dating app that requires her to make the first move. That can’t go badly right.

I damn near have a panic attack every time I get a match I stg. Anyway.

I was skeptical at first. I’m not huge on people knowing a lot about me from the outset (or I wasn’t - i give so much less of a fuck now bc it makes almost no difference on these things) so my profile was pretty threadbare and cold. Now, a few weeks later, my profile is an efficient snapshot with a splash of Slytherin “Don’t fucking test me.”

Did I mention I’m an INTJ Scorpio? Yeah my entire approach is gonna scream that and my Hogwarts house, just you wait.

Round 1 ~ Bumble 🐝🍯

Okay so Bumble is interesting. For those who don’t know, it’s basically Beehive-Themed Tinder except for heterosexual couples, the lady has to initiate conversation. (Either party in a same sex match can message first) She has 24 hours from the point where her and a fella have “matched” to do so, then he has 24 hours to respond and seal the match – ending the time limits.

Bumble also gives you a rough estimate of how far away someone is sometimes. I’ve read articles about how bumble’s location estimate feature has ruined relationships forged through bumble and generally turned women into paranoid psychos over matches. Can. Fucking. Confirm. It’s the most annoying thing ever. Why?

Android vs Apple. That’s literally why.

The way Bumble’s location service is supposed to work is that everytime you open the app, it updates your location based on your phone or computer’s location. As far as I can tell, that’s exactly how it works on my android phone.

Apple users. Y’all are a problem. Not because I give a shit about your iPhone, I don’t give a shit do you ffs, but IOS location permissions can allow apps to update your location without the app being open.

Reread that for me.

Without. The app. Being. Open.

Which basically means if you match checks your profile, they can tell whether you’re where you were when they swiped right (say, 26 miles away) versus, oh idfk, a whole state or two away.

Real specific example I know. Why? Because I ended up unmatching a guy I REALLY wanted to get to know better because of it.

Though, to be fair, guys are really lax about how they behave on these apps in my opinion, which is a bigger problem than the stupid IOS setting.

Allow me to explain.

Dating App Etiquette 

It barely exists, but it should. Here’s the thing. On these apps, you basically swipe right on a pretty face and left on one you’re not interested in waking up to in the morning or sitting on. I’m only being half funny here. I’m convinced people use dating apps more for hookups than their intended purpose. Which, whatever, but for fuck’s sake make BumbleHookup. There’s BumbleDating, DumbleFriends, and BumbleNetwork or whatever. Just make BumbleDTF so we can filter these people out already.

BACK TO THE SINFULLY ATTRACTIVE AND INTERESTING DUDE I UNMATCHED

I’m still kinda peeved about this. In part at myself, but also just in general.

Most people seem to treat Bumble like Tinder. They don’t fill out their profile hardly at all. Have less than 3 pictures, have pictures that make it unclear who’s profile it is, or – my least favorite thing that is almost 100% regional – THEY REALLY FUCKING THINK A PICTURE OF THEM IN SUNGLASSES HOLDING A FUCKING FISH THEY JUST CAUGHT IS ATTRACTIVE. IT IS NOT. THAT’S NOT WHAT THE PICTURES ARE FOR. JUST SAY YOU LIKE TO FISH IN YOUR FUCKING PROFILE BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO LOOK AT ONE MORE MOTHER FUCKING FISH-

I’ve seen a lot of fish in the last few weeks. Like. So many that I’m basically auto swiping left if someone’s profile has less than 4 pictures and one or more contains a stupid fucking fish.

LOOK AT MY FUCKING USERNAME. LITTLEMULATTOKITTEN. IF A SELF-IDENTIFYING CAT TRAPPED IN A HUMANS BODY SAYS THERE’S TOO MANY FUCKING FISH – THERE ARE TOO MANY MOTHER FUCKING FISH.

I can guarantee this won’t be my last fish rant. You don’t understand how many fucking fish I’ve seen.

BUT THIS GUY DIDN’T HAVE ANY FISH IN HIS PROFILE.

So he already had my fucking attention. He was also startlingly handsome – not in a oh you exist off puss and nothing else there’s no other way someone as pretty as you with a penis could exist – but like “Oh. I’d…really like to look at that forever and sit on it if you’ll let me please.”

NOT ONLY DID I FIND HIM THAT ATTRACTIVE BUT HE SWIPED RIGHT ON ME TOO AND READ ENOUGH OF MY PROFILE TO ASK ME A QUESTION FROM THE LOWER HALF OF IT.

I was freaking the fuck out excited.

And frankly the odds of him seeing this are so fucking low that I’ll go ahead and tell you some specifics about the short convo we had, but nothing that could lead anyone back to him obviously.

He’d lived in my home state. First thing he asked was which city I was from. Then he guessed, claiming that guess was based off a beanie I was wearing in my second to last (I think) image available on my profile.

He’d lived in my home CITY. Which means he was familiar with the CULTURE. And would probably GET ME MORE THAN MOST GUYS IN MY AREA.

He worked in an industry/field I knew about and had almost gone into myself.

He was so fucking attractive. I have yet to come across someone who checked ever preliminary shallow box on my want list.

Biceps. Listen. We’re all a little shallow. Biceps do to me what ass and tiddy do to some guys. It’s one of the few really fucking strong visual things I have, followed by dark hair and blue eyes. But he was something of a gym rat, for sure, and I’d gladly torture myself at the gym if that man was going to be in my line of sight at all during the process.

Seriously. I’ve never seen someone who didn’t look like they had to be famous or an alien that made me go “He’s so pretty I want to cry.” EVER. I WANT TO CRY THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE’RE NOT MATCHED ANYMORE.

And last but not least – like almost every fucking match I’ve ever made, I could count his replies on one hand before he went radio silent.

So, how does this relate to that location issue, you may ask.

Because I didn’t fucking know that Bumble could update your location on some devices without you opening the app.

There’s no online/activity indicator for Bumble except their location updating. Which, when you’re really excited to get to know someone and they suddenly vanish, but they’re more likely than not still online, you might start to feel like you’ve been put on hold.

Life stuff, yes, makes sense, I get it. But these apps have push notifications (which can be buggy) and if you’ve matched with someone, odds are you’re interested enough to check back on occasion (unless you aren’t). So it quickly became a worry game.

Because, like I said, I can’t just say “I’m excited about you, but I’ll keep browsing”. I don’t work that way. Unless I’m not excited about someone, then yeah I’ll keep scatter-shotting. But if I’m not excited to get to know someone why the fuck would I swipe right.

Anyway. After a few days of silence, I was disappointed and getting bitter and the few proverbial bones I’d thrown him had gone unanswered. I knew I was overthinking it and letting my own insecurities get to me a bit, but at the end of the day, there’s a few general courtesies that should exist in online dating culture that don’t.

Why people are afraid or hesitant to say they’re too busy to respond much in their profiles is beyond me. Some guys have the right idea announcing that they’re bad at checking the app and offering their snapchat or telling matches to ask for it.

But even if you’re testing the waters with another match, we’re all on this app for the same fucking reason. Say so. I’m not the kind of person who will need to, because I don’t operate that way on these apps, but I would. Because if that person is really bothered by you finding out if you’re more compatible with someone you matched with prior to them, that tells you something about them.

Would I have been disappointed if that had been the case with this guy? Yeah, kinda. I probably would have felt like his second choice at best, even if he’d come back to chatting with me. But that’s how these fucking apps are designed. Buckle up or unmatch. Fuck your emotions and self-esteem.

I unmatched for my sanity, because that happened a few days into this whole experiment and I wasn’t on any other sites yet. I wasn’t really prepared to deal with this whole thing yet and I didn’t know what to expect. I felt like shit and decided that if he showed up in my feed again, maybe I’d super swipe him (paid extra special right swipe that tells them you REALLY like their face and whatever) but I still don’t know what I’ll do if he does. 

Lowkey hoping it was all a misunderstanding and whatever but like, not at all holding out for that because what are the fucking odds.

And again, my disappointment stems mostly from the fact that I was really excited to get to know him. The idea of finding someone on this stupid app in less than a week who wasn’t forcing his fish pictures in my face, would absolutely be the type of person to encourage my own wellness goals, and who was obviously smart because of his career path, was such an exciting thought. If we’d hit it off and gotten along really well, I’d have been so many levels of shocked and overwhelmingly happy that I just don’t know what I’d do.

When someone who looks like they’re 100% your type actually reads your profile and swipes right – you get excited. I was really excited. I’m still a little sad/disappointed, but I’m basically over it.

Other Misc. Things I’ve Learned On Bumble and other Dating Apps As a Relationship Seeking User

Take every profile with a grain of salt unless it’s so blatantly straightforward. And then still toss a pinch in.

The pretty pretty pretty buff boys who look like their players but their profiles claim they want a relationship? Odds are still players. They will try to convince you there’s 10 inches in their pants. They clearly aren’t smart enough to know that’s biologically uncomfortable for females and the best way to end up in the emergency room with a ruined cervix so don’t even swipe right. They’ll just ask for nudes.

People who use dating sites have some odd, hive mind fixation with The Office.

“Jim looking for his Pam” is in most profiles. I’m not sure why. References to The Office or mentions of The Office are about as common as all the stupid fucking fish.

I live in the wrong part of the country to find guys I’m actually going to share interests with. Just wait until I tell you about my experience so far on OK Cupid. I literally won’t find anyone where I live unless they’re from somewhere culturally similar to where I was born and are willing to move back with me. Because I am not fucking staying in the land of the god damn fish forever.

Most people don’t look at religion and politics like I do. Which is “You do you, I’ll do me, we won’t talk about it and we can peacefully do each other.” I don’t fucking care if your politics contradict mine if that’s the only thing we have not in common. Just make it a blacklisted subject and don’t let one frankly insignificant difference of opinion ruin an entire relationship or potential relationship. And same with religion. I’m not even a little religious. I don’t care if my future husband is unless it’s in my face constantly, he tries to “convert me”, get me to go to church with him, or some other blatant disrespect of my own religious standing. You worship whatever you want. I’ll right fanfiction about magic demon princes fucking their human-born demon queen every which way to Sunday. If religion is that big of a fucking deal for you, be upfront about it. Most people are in their bios. Either way, I’m really fucking sick of people who put too much weight into these two things like they actually decide how compatible you are with someone unless you let them.

I fucking hate fish.

Dating apps need more filters and ways to narrow down searches. 90% of the filters already present are shallow as all hell. What’s a few more.

Primarily let me filter out a few NAMES. This sounds super picky, but I have a really big family. 7 uncles. Over 20 cousins including the few cousins of mine who have kids. There’s a few names that would just be weird and awkward for me to associate with a significant other. If I could filter out my stepdad’s first name (which is disgustingly common but still), my biological father’s name, and a few of my uncle’s names, that’d be fucking swell. You already let me filter by religion and race. Let me filter out some fucking names damnit.

And there have to be people who have traumatic associations with names too like?????

The Office is a funny, good show and all but WHY IS EVERYONE ON THESE APPS FUCKING OBSESSED WITH IT THE WAY I’M OBSESSED WITH HARRY POTTER. I’VE SEEN IT. IT’S NOT **THAT** FUCKING FUNNY. SOMEONE EXPLAIN.

YOU HOLDING A DEAD FISH ISN’T FUCKING ATTRACTIVE SIR. THIS ISN’T THE SHAPE OF WATER. SHOW ME YOUR FACE NOT YOUR FISH.

The dating apps that are probably actually worth using all require a paid subscription.

There’s no real way to advertise that you find sex and physical intimacy very important in a relationship without making yourself sound like a cock-thirsty whore. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, you do you, but I’m looking for someone to be a slut FOR, I’m not one already and I dislike not being able to be upfront about that without being profiled or attracting fuckboys.

WHY CAN I NOT FILTER OUT PROFILES THAT CONTAIN IMAGES OF FISH

STOP WITH THE FUCKING FISH COUNTRY BOYS. ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND OR SOMEONE TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR TACKLEBOX? AND DON’T TELL ME THAT’S THE SAME THING, MY FAMILY IS COUNTRY. IT AIN’T THE SAME FUCKING THING. ALL THAT FISH TELLS ME IS THAT YOU’RE PROBABLY COMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING.

Judging by the few fish-fucks with their profiles filled out at all – they’re compensating for personality.

With how shallow the filters on these sites are, just go ahead and fucking add eye color, hair, etc. Seriously. If you’re gonna let me be shallow enough to only pick men of a certain ethnicity, and religion, you may as fucking well let me see if I can find a guy with blue eyes, biceps, dark hair, non religious, who doesn’t want kids without reading every fucking profile I come across.

There are way more guys on these sites who want or think they want children some day. This baffles me. But then again my primary reason for not wanting children is pregnancy and giving birth which wouldn’t be their problem so of course they want them.

I just need to auto left-swipe if I see a fish. These apps are shallow anyway. Do not make a fucking fishing joke just because I said shallow.

OK Cupid has a better matching system than Bumble and such, but it’s still irritating as all hell. You can’t choose question categories that are more important. So if I see a 91% match, but he has no sex questions filled out or our sexual compatibility is like…50%...that’s not REALLY a 91% match for me. Let me mark 2 or 3 question categories as priority for fucks sake.

The bulk of guys on these apps fall into 2 categories (for me anyway) – Not enough giveadamn to explain their presence on the site & thank u, next.

Online dating is disappointing as fuck.

I’m seriously going to lose my mind if I can’t get away from the fucking fish pictures. ENOUGH. I GET IT. I NEED TO MOVE.

Seriously – I. Need. To. Move. Back. Home. I am not meant for this part of the country. These good ole boys are meant for someone but it ain’t me and my family is fucking country. I’ve been fishing, ridden 4-wheelers, made shit out of wood for shits and giggles, helped my grandparents in the garden, eaten deer my grandfather or uncles hunted and prepared, helped chop wood, ridden in the bed of a truck, etc etc etc. But ya bitch has lifestyle goals that only include mud at scheduled times. We can go camping, but we should also go out to dinner sometimes and go clubbing or dancing other times.

I was not born with this ass to settle for a man who looks like an angel and acts like one too. Why is no one non-ironically blunt about their sexual preferences?  You cannot convince me that the majority of men lack strong opinions on this subject. SERIOUSLY. IT IS 2019 NOT 1619. God DAMNIT. You’re on a DATING SITE. THAT’S AN ASPECT OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT CAN MAKE OR BREAK THEM. BE STRAIGHTFORWARD.

It’s not even actually about sharing every interest. I don’t give a shit if he doesn’t like Harry Potter much. If he’s annoyed by the level I like it, yeah that’s an issue. Otherwise, be supportive and kind about that kinda shit. That’s all I’m asking for. That’s how I am in return.

I make shit with yarn, write off the wall fanfiction, have a lot of sexual interests I don’t usually broadcast, and don’t understand how dating sites are still this ineffective in 2019.

This is super long already so I’m gonna save the other apps for a separate installment if this one is enjoyed or whatever. Jesus. These apps, guys.

Apps I still need to talk about that probably won’t require this many words each – Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid (OkC might need a few thousand words).

I’ll probably look into some other niche dating sites too because at this point, what the fuck ever - I just wanna meet someone back home or willing to move back home with me who fits some reasonable criteria parameters. And I’m not even as picky as half the profiles I’ve seen, lemme tell ya. I’m just fucking opinionated. And beyond sick of this experiment already.

Sigh.

If I ever see a fish again it’ll be too soon. Bet the first profile picture on my bumble dash later will be another fucking fish though.

Those who expressed interest: @accio-echo  |  @infallibleangel  | @aconitumluparia  and those who liked are my followers so you’ll see it. This post is so long my browser is bugging out with tags or I’d tag you all too.

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 5/18/21

Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon, Vol. 1 | By Shio Usui | Seven Seas – It’s always worth buying a new yuri volume that features two adults, and this one does not disappoint. Hinako is trying her best to live the life that everyone and everything says she should be living, but she’s still pretty unhappy with it. She also finds herself drawn to Asahi, the cool and collected (and scary to the other workers) manager at the place she works, who turns out… to be a lot cuter than she expected. Meanwhile, Asahi’s sister finds out that she’s made friends with another woman and pushes hard for them to bond some more, as Asahi’s life revolves around work and her sister and that’s about it. This has just gotten started, but I really like both heroines and hope they make it work. – Sean Gaffney

Farming Life in Another World, Vol. 2 | By Kinosuke Naito and Yasuyuki Tsurugi | One Peace Books – I may have been a bit too generous with my brief of the first volume. I think the main issue is that the series does not allow our hero to leave the “village” that he has created—he’s considered too valuable, so others act as his envoys. Which is fine, but… the series never leaves his POV, so they just fly off, then come back. I suspect the series is popular with young men because it does not shy away from talking about how he’s having sex with over 50 women… but I wonder what they get out of it, since none of this is ever shown. You’re left with a book heavy on the food and farming but light on adventure or sex, the reason you’d think folks would be reading it. – Sean Gaffney

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War, Vol. 19 | By Aka Akasaka | Viz Media – Again, a book of two halves, and it’s all about the front half, as we resolve the “Hayasaka quits” plotline. It’s very tense and dramatic at times, and I enjoyed seeing Hayasaka briefly fantasize about a more typical romantic comedy resolution to things before being confronted with the sordid reality: Kaguya is upset and feels betrayed. And, well, with good reason. That said, Kaguya clearly understands that Hayasaka was doing this under threat, so they’re able to resolve their past and start over as friends. It’s really nice. The rest of the book is more typical, though we’re definitely setting things up to resolve the Tsubame subplot—is she going to betray Ishigami? Probably not, but I would not expect her to win. – Sean Gaffney

My Hero Academia, Vol. 27 | By Kohei Horikoshi | Viz Media – This marks the start of a very long and very devastating arc, and it’s clear almost from the get-go that it’s not going to go as well as planned. It’s impressively planned too, as the heroes really do try to take everything into account… but the villains are also very, very good at being bad guys. Indeed, the end of this volume revolves around the very question of “can bad guys be redeemed?” and the answer—yes, but you’ll need to do prison time—does not appeal. So the series shows it can kill off regulars, but will it go further? Certainly Mirko facing off against the Nomus involves a painful sacrifice for her, and the students all question whether they should really be there… a question the reader might be wondering as well. – Sean Gaffney

Natsume’s Book of Friends, Vol. 25 | By Yuki Midorikawa | Viz Media – This is down to about once a year now, but I still love it whenever it comes out, whether it’s telling more light-hearted stories, like the one here about a weak yokai hitching a ride out of a dangerous area, or more serious stuff, like the story that takes up the rest of the book, one of the longest arcs to date (and it ends on a cliffhanger), involving Natsume, Natori and Matoba teaming up to take on a nasty customer who seemingly works for an even nastier one who likes to collect yokai-related items. We get lots of (seemingly) identical ceramic cat dolls that look like Nyanko-sensei, some very scary paper dolls, and a real sense of danger on all sides. This feels like the sort of shoujo title you’d read in a horror magazine. – Sean Gaffney

Remina | By Junji Ito | VIZ Media – I’m not exactly a horror manga aficionado, but the premise of Remina intrigued me. Sadly, I ultimately found it strangely unaffecting. When a scientist discovers a new planet and names it after his daughter, she becomes a celebrity. And when said planet swiftly devours the rest of our solar system and heads for Earth, public opinion suddenly shifts as people become convinced that killing Remina the girl will compel Remina the planet to disappear. It’s a neat concept, but nothing lands with any weight. The destruction of the other planets happens so fast, for one thing, and Remina is largely passive (often “rescued” by creeps who then turn on her when she rejects their advances) and frequently expressionless. There are several panels, for example, where if not for dialogue reading “sob sob sob,” I never would’ve known she was crying. For better Ito, I recommend “The Enigma of Amigara Fault.” – Michelle Smith

Sadako at the End of the World | By Koma Natsumi | Yen Press – I’ll have to admit, I’ve never actually read Koji Suzuki’s novel Ring. Even so, I’m still very familiar with the premise of a cursed video tape and the character of Sadako who emerges to kill anyone who watches it—with so many adaptations and references to it in pop culture, Ring is a touchstone of Japanese horror. Sadako at the End of the World is a somewhat unusual but surprisingly effective take on the character and curse. The conceit is that Sadako has been brought forth by two young girls in a post-apocalyptic setting. In their innocence, they don’t recognize Sadako for the vengeful spirit that she is and are instead delighted to finally have someone else around for company. Natsumi takes a humorous approach, but at heart Sadako at the End of the World is a work of horror, even if it can at times be unexpectedly charming and endearing. – Ash Brown

We’re New at This, Vol. 5 | By Ren Kawahara | Kodansha Comics (digital only) – Now that our newly married couple have managed to have their first time, they may like it a bit TOO much—it’s strictly regimented to Friday and Saturday evenings, so that they get enough rest for their jobs. As always, there is a core underneath all the comedic fanservice, which is properly communicating with your partner, and not just assuming you know what they’re thinking. Even Sumika and Ikuma are having trouble with this… the rules have been set, but that doesn’t mean that Sumika doesn’t want her husband noticing when she’s horny and ready to go anyway. This is never going to get very deep, and you’d better be OK with sex and nudity, but it’s still a favorite of mine. – Sean Gaffney

By: Ash Brown

[we-are-trickster]

The Morality of The Dark Crystal - A Trickster’s Analysis

((Mostly inspired by @wearepaladin’s recent forays into the Morality of Star Wars and the Force. I was reminded of my personal favorite 80s Fantasy flick with a somewhat similar moral quandary. What follows is a loooong-ass post with my thoughts on the matter....))

“Another world, another time in the age of wonder….”

So starts my favorite 80s Fantasy Cult-Classic Jim Henson’s “The Dark Crystal,” what at first glance is a simple story about good and evil set in an alien world populated by the strange and fantastical but when you really start to dig you find some very interesting moral questions about the nature of good and evil and their proper places in the world.

The Dark Crystal was probably Jim Henson’s most ambitious project. Released in 1982, every creature that appears on the screen is a puppet, which really opened up a lot of possibilities for a visual and stylistic language that usually only animation approached at the time. It came out right on the heels of Star Wars and in-fact was produced in conjunction with Lucasfilm and even shares a producer with the Sci-Fi Classic. It was more ambitious than 1986’s Labyrinth in the sense that you had no human characters to connect with - despite the very humanoid appearance of our heroes, the Gelflings Jen and Kira – but it still managed to tell a very human story.

The basic plot is as follows: As far as he knows, Jen is the last of his kind. Raised by a group of wise and peaceful beings known as the Mystics in a valley untouched by conflict, Jen is mostly content to live out his life free from the dangers of the world. On his master’s deathbed, he is told of a prophecy that reveals a Gelfling will end the power of the Skekis, a race of evil beings hell-bent on destruction. They rule from a castle far, far away from the Mystic’s peaceful valley. As a reaction to this prophecy and in a bid to shore up their own power, the Skekis have nearly destroyed the Gelfling race. It’s up to Jen to locate a Crystal Shard, broken away from the source of the Skekis power the titular Dark Crystal. Only by locating the shard and using it to heal the Dark Crystal will the Skekis be defeated. Jen has to do this before the next time the three suns of their world meet in a “Great Conjunction” or the Skekis will rule the land forever.

With the stakes set very high, Jen feels the weight of the world on his shoulders as he sets out on his quest. He knows that if he fails, everything he loves could be destroyed. However, this doesn’t keep him from doubting himself, he says to himself several times over the course of his journey “I’m just a Gelfling” in a tone of voice implying he doesn’t understand why he’s so important in the grand scheme of things. There is a moment at about the midpoint of the film where he decides that he isn’t important and he should put a stop to his quest, this moment comes after he meets the only other known Gelfling, Kira and experiences a Garthim Raid, a very traumatizing event that he feels personally responsible for causing. At this moment, it is Kira who convinces him to continue the quest. Mostly because she knows the stakes better than anyone else, while Jen has been living in the relative peace and safety of the Mystic’s Valley she has been living among the Pod People - a race that the Skekis has targeted for use as slave labor and regularly conduct violent raids against. She has always experienced the violence of the Skekis as an undercurrent of her life and knows that the only way to stop it is to see the prophecy fulfilled – literally to the point that when Jen points out that she doesn’t have to help and that the prophecy doesn’t say anything about getting help she responds that “prophets don’t know everything!”

And it’s Kira’s actions after meeting Jen that really reveal the moral heart of The Dark Crystal. More-so than being a story about Good versus Evil, it’s a story about Action versus In-Action. The Mystics, for all their wisdom and knowledge, have a very simple goal of “living in a dream of peace.” They sequester themselves away from the world in their valley. They literally only leave the valley to get involved with the rest of the world only after Jen has left on his quest. The Skekis, on the other hand, are very involved in the world. Their desire for mastery and conquest have ensured that they very actively get involved in events, utilizing their soldiers the Garthim to destroy their enemies and prevent the prophecy from being fulfilled – a goal that they very nearly achieve since there are only two known Gelflings left in the world. Being raised by the Mystics and having very little knowledge of the things outside of the valley, Jen can be a very passive character at times. He is a very reactionary hero for the first two-thirds of the film and has to very quickly get up to speed on what’s going on around him. As the old hermit Aughra states when Jen meets her “You have much to learn, and you have no time.” He has to learn how to make quick decisions and stick to them, something that Kira knows far better than he having been someone who has lived in a dangerous world all her life.

Kira’s entrance to the film is a fascinating moment, she seems to be tracking Jen in the wilds, able to sneak up on him and not openly approaching until she knows it’s safe to do so. Their meeting is punctuated by a fascinating moment, something Kira calls a “Dreamfasting” in which they share their memories with one another and reveal even their deepest pasts to one another. Jen was found by the Mystics as a baby, Kira was spared from a Garthim raid by her mother hiding her in a tree. Jen learned the ways of the Mystics and was confined to the expanse of the Valley, while Kira was allowed to roam freely and learn everything about the world around her, the good and the bad. His limited experience with the greater world is off-set by her wealth of practical knowledge, he is the idealist while she is the realist. And it is only after finally seeing what the Skekis are willing to do in order to maintain their power that Jen finally makes an active choice – he will go to the castle immediately and see the prophecy fulfilled, Kira by his side.

However, the climax of the film sees Jen falter. He has leapt onto the Dark Crystal, and in the process dropped the shard. Kira manages to get to it before their enemies, but is surrounded by Skekis. She is willing to die to see the prophecy fulfilled, to bring peace to their world but Jen isn’t willing to lose her. He still doesn’t fully understand that making the right choice can require sacrifice, Kira does. She knows that healing the crystal is the only real hope for their world, that the Skekis will never keep their word to not harm her if she and Jen comply with their demand to give up the Shard (“Give us the shard and you can go free!”). So, instead of making the easy choice to hand the Shard over, she instead throws it to Jen, begging him to heal the crystal. She is the one who makes the choice to save the world, Jen just ensures that her sacrifice isn’t in vain.

Healing the Crystal has a fascinating effect and reveals a powerful ending. While the Skekis are running about in a blind panic, the Mystics finally show back up and a truth is revealed – that the Skekis and the Mystics are two halves of one whole, a race of beings known as the urSkeks. They reveal that it was their own arrogance that caused the crystal to crack in the first place, acting like a prism and splitting them into their two different parts: the Mystics (or urRu as revealed by the production notes and novelization) and the Skekis. The Mystics represented the passive collection of wisdom, while the Skekis represented the active application of knowledge and it is only a combination of the two that creates a workable balance and allows a world to function in a healthy manner.

This is what I like about the Dark Crystal’s moral quandary, it’s not merely a simple “Good versus Evil” story. The Skekis are a cruel and evil race mostly because while they have knowledge and power, they lack a moral compass to use it correctly. And while the Mystics have wisdom and a strong sense of morality, they don’t have the passion and drive to affect real, lasting change. It takes the active choices of individuals who have a mix of both to ensure that the world changes. Kira has the knowledge of “all living things” and the wisdom to know which ones to call upon to help in a given situation. Jen has the knowledge of what he needs to do, that he needs to heal the crystal, but he lacks the wisdom to understand that his inaction will cost the world everything. He knows that the Skekis will rule forever, but he doesn’t understand what that fully entails never having truly lived under their threat.      

Joseph Campbell sums it up pretty well: “The true goal of the hero’s quest must never be ecstasy nor relief for one’s self, but the wisdom and power to serve others.” It’s only after he learns that his choices do matter in the grand scheme that Jen is rewarded, the urSkeks restore Kira to life and they are given guardianship over the purified Crystal of Truth. This doesn’t invalidate her sacrifice, neither Jen nor Kira were aware that the urSkeks or the Crystal of Truth had this power going into the final battle. Now they have to figure out what the Crystal of Truth can do, the pair of them being told to “make their world in its light” by the urSkeks who then leave in a flash of brilliant light and leave the two Gelflings, seemingly content that the pair will have the wisdom, knowledge, and now power to make a better world.

At the end of the day, I am eternally fond of “The Dark Crystal” because it is a story that you can dig deeper into if you want and it does have an interesting moral spectrum – you have the Skekis on one side, the Mystics on the other, and the Gelflings somewhere in the middle. It also shows that Good isn’t just a thing you are, it’s a choice you have to actively make. Is there anything inherently Good in simply refusing to participate in the struggle of the world? Not necessarily, as Evil was only able to flourish because no-one really stood in its way. It is a prime example of the quote “The only thing needed for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.” Had Jen chosen to give up his quest once it got too hard, once it was revealed that his choices wouldn’t be easy, then the Skekis would have won. Their thirst for power at any cost would have won-out because they destroyed the opposition. Jen’s success was riding on his ability to make an active choice to utilize the wisdom of his youth tempered by the knowledge gained through his journey and finally amplified through the Crystal’s power. That is what I feel is the true moral – that we have to be active players in our world, we can’t just hope that things will get better. An important message in these times, wouldn’t you agree?  

[andyfrills]

Andy’s Fanfic Log 21/02/2017

So how that I've got this blog up and running I thought it might be a fun idea to regularly share the fanfics that I've recently read/am currently reading (since I tend to go through a lot of fics). The inspiration to do this actually came from @victuurificrec​ who, as the name suggests, runs a fic recommendation blog for yuri on ice. She is honestly a Godsend, the blog is so helpful and she gives amazing recommendations! So go check her out! Fair warning, I've been reading a heap of her recs so a fair amount of the yoi stuff you'll be able find on her blog.

I'm planning to do this once or twice a week, give or take~ I think I'll be organising the fics via fandom, with crossovers going under the fandom it displays most (e.g. a yoi Hogwarts au would go under yoi for its large interaction with yoi characters). If you have any tips or ideas surrounding this, then please don't hesitate to tell me!

Other posts in this little series will be able to be found under the read fanfiction tag on my page~

Fic Count: 23 Fandoms in this Log: Yuri!!! on Ice, Voltron, Harry Potter, One Piece, NCIS

On a cautionary note, I end up reading a lot of random shit. Until I’m a bit more comfortable I might censor a few things out, but there will be explicit fics, darker themes, crazy plots, and insane ships amongst all the sugar and fluff I find around the place. So the really important thing is to carefully read the warnings that I occasionally give & that are on the fic itself, and back away if it’s not for you.

Now, without further ado, let's get into this loong first log!

Yuri!!! on Ice

Enchanted by FlishFlash121 Words: 5.8k, Rating: Teen, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Victuuri (Viktor Nikiforov/Yuuri Katsuki) Viktor Nikiforov is the eleven king of an enchanted forest. Mortal Katsuki Yuuri finds himself on a mission in said forest. - Cool concept for a fantasy au. Quite good so far and I'm looking forward to seeing more of it~!

of dusk and dawn and a love beyond by exile_wrath Words: 5.5k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri The King of Day, Victor, drops flowers to the Ruler of Night, Yuuri, to express his love for him; yet, they are always returned, as Yuuri thinks that they’re dropped by mistake. Victor cries and plucks wishes off the petals every time, remembering the time when once, they had been together. - Rather sweet imho <3

Stamina by Watermelonsmellinfellon Words: 1.1k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri “Can’t you go another round with me, Victor?” Yuuri purred, voicing teasing and deepening erotically. Victor’s eyes dilated once more and his breath hitched again. - Innuendos but no doing the do~ <3 Beautiful fic, go read it if you're into this sort of stuff!

After Banquet Special by Watermelonsmellinfellon Words: 1.1k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri What would happen if Victor had escorted Yuuri back to his hotel room after the banquet? - ;)

we're like two halves of one heart by grandeur Words: 2.9k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri The man smiles at this, looking both unfairly beautiful and amused. “Very cute.” “She is,” Yuuri agrees. “I wasn’t talking about the dog.” - Dogs and fluff. All things seem right in the world with this fic~~

shape of you by grandeur Words: 8.5k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri From: Viktor [06:59:20 A.M.] I checked over my schedule and I’m free on Friday night if you’re still up for a date~ ))) Yuuri almost throws his phone across the room. - Sequel to the previous fic in this list <3 The perfect addition if you ask me!

in need of melted marshmallow cuddles by Hitsugi_Zirkus Words: 1.7k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri “Viktor. You’re Russian.” “I’m so glad you noticed, lyubov moya,” Viktor said, overly sweet as he kissed into Yuuri’s hair. “You’re a figure skater who spends most of his life on the ice.” “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.” “I mean how is it that you’re always so easily cold and-- Wait,” Yuuri’s eyes fell onto Viktor’s bundled up form under the comforter, “are you wearing my jackets? How many layers have you got on?” - Fluff and cuddles galore!

Maelstrom by feelslikefire Words: 43k, Rating: Explicit, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri Victor Nikiforov is poised to win gold in his fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final. He has the world at his feet, is unparalleled in the sport--right up until a snowstorm blows into Sochi, and he finds himself repeating the same day over and over and over. He stumbles over Yuuri Katsuki, and everything changes. - This is a time loop au and I think it's amazing! I really enjoyed reading it~!

I Want to Skate like Him by IdunAurora Words: 27k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri At age 27, five time consecutive world figure skating champion Yuuri Katsuki decides to retire. He has barely made it home to Hasetsu before he finds an eager and all too enthusiastic silver-haired Russian on the doorstep of Yu-Topia Akatsuki, demanding Yuuri to coach him. Well, it's not as if the Japanese legend has been able to get 23-year-old Viktor Nikiforov out of his mind since the young man enchanted him at the GPF banquet in Sochi months earlier, anyway. Also, Yuuri's smirks should be illegal. Viktor is certain he has spent more time imitating a tomato than he has been skating. - A really good role swap au!

our doubts are traitors by astoryaboutwar Words: 11k, Rating: Explicit, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Victuuri “Back then,” Yuuri asks. “Did you love me?” The cigarette hangs low, tucked between Victor’s lips. The end glows steadily orange, devil eyes on a coal-black night. (Some ghosts of your past you leave well alone.) (Or: the powered assassins AU in which betrayal comes first, forgiveness second, and love was always somewhere in the equation.) - A really interesting au! Waiting eagerly for more~

That's the trouble with us by heygorgeous Words: 6.3k, Rating: G, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Victuuri [AU - Elemental Magic] Viktor Nikiforov is a legend. That, anyone within a five mile radius of the porcelain demigod can tell; the fact that there’s a statue of the man smack in the middle of the institution’s courtyard goes to show exactly how deeply regarded he is. It’s just a little awkward, seeing as Viktor’s still, well, alive; his many achievements and breakthroughs in ice dancing, secondary Elements, and magical therapy may seem superfluous to the common man, but it’s what’s inspired the fusion of scientific, practical magic with the traditional aesthetical appreciation of wizardry. The man is a living legend, an urban myth, a collector of headlines and trophies and tokens of appreciation. This statue is nothing less. Enter Katsuki Yuuri, back as straight as a broom, fingers tightly anchored to the strap of his messenger bag. He’s sure there’s been some sort of mistake that his application got through, but the paper of acceptance is strangely durable and far too ancient to be some sort of joke. - Arrrrgh, this fic is so good! I feel like I need to read more T^T

Re: Yuri Katsuki by Ishxallxgood Words: 33k, Rating: G, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Victuuri, ChulaCometti (Phichit/Christophe - is that what we're calling this ship? If so I’m jumping aboard! Just hints in recent chaps btw) Phichit Chulanont is fiercely loyal to his best friend Yuri Katsuki. So when he randomly gets a direct message on Instagram from one v_nikiforov, it's only natural for Phichit to assume it's a prank. That is until he comes to realize it's not a prank. A story about how Phichit and Viktor bonded over their most favorite topic; Yuri Katsuki. Phichit knows all the things. - Phichit is a devious gift to the fandom, just like this fic. <33 It's beautiful, I love it, go read it.

Amateur Night by Ishxallxgood Words: 3.3k, Rating: Not Rated (I’d say around Teen), Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri, ChulaCometti (Hints) It all started with a Groupon for a pole dancing class... Phichit convinces Yuuri to actually dance for Amateur night and is pleasantly surprised when he recognizes two faces in the crowd. - Fic about a night mentioned in chap 27 of the previous fic in this list. Phichit strikes again! <3

Warmth by SuggestiveScribe Words: 1.4k, Rating: G, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Victuuri "I love nights like tonight," Viktor commented as he allowed a momentary pause in his gait. He lifted his chin to the sky, gloved fingers still securely fastened over Yuuri's hand. "It feels dream-like, doesn't it? It's so..." He didn't pull his eyes away from the sky as he thought, and in the light his lashes were pale threads of golden silk. "Euphoric," he decided. - So cute~ So pure~ <3

Voltron

Marital Mayhem by genello Words: 21k, Rating: Teen, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Klance (Keith/Lance) Cornered by the Galra, Lance and Keith find shelter in a local temple. There's just one problem—the natives seem to think the two of them are engaged. - I live for this type of fluff <3 Can't wait for more!

Quiznak Actually by fairy_laughing Words: 10k (expected to be around 30k), Rating: Teen, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Klance, Shallura (Shiro/Allura) Hunk ships Klance so hard. Too bad those two idiots are blind as to how crazy in love they are with each other. Hunk decides he’s going to get them together by any means possible. There will be misunderstandings, awful dad-jokes, 60s cable, and space flu for all. This was written for the Primary Paladin Big Bang 2017 and there is artwork inside! - What it says on the box~ Very cute so far!

Harry Potter

Victory Day by WhiteWave14 Words: 301k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Harry Potter/Voldemort (I know, I was a bit surprised at first too) Harry grew up in a Rebel camp with Sirius after Voldemort's triumph over Wizarding Britain. Burdened by the Prophecy, he begins to doubt the Rebels' morals and slowly gets caught in his fascination for a certain Dark Lord. - I actually quite enjoyed this one. I found the plot interesting and well thought out, and the character development quite good. It has been a little while since I read this, and I don't remember if it gets explicit anywhere or not, so please tread carefully on this one.

Lonely Moon by eleventy7 Words: 65k, Rating: Teen, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Draco/Harry More than a decade after the Battle, Harry returns to Hogwarts as a professor and discovers a student with a familiar face and an unexpected past. - Sweet with a bit of angst ft. Papa Draco and his Cutie Son

Between Ruin and Salvation by ms. commas and ampersands Words: 44k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Draco/Luna - Actually a hetro pairing for once ww It was only one second. One second when Remus stared at the rigid body of his last best friend falling through the veil. One second when he heard James's son too late, when he wasn't fast enough to catch him. Then Harry ran through the veil. - I somehow found this old fic a while ago, it's an interesting read. The pairings listed on the summary aren't right btw.

Full Circle by tetsurashian Words: 14k, Rating: Mature, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Harry P./Tom R. Jr. Harry and Tom's souls are tied together. Which is why they're in this endless loop of rebirth. At some point, they stopped caring and just started f**king with people. - The humor is on point in this fic. Needless to say, I really enjoyed it.

Recreated Fire A Harry Potter/One Piece X-over by Mai Kusakabe Words: 117k, Rating: Mature, Status: Wip Relationship(s): Ace!Harry/Marco Harry Potter has always dreamed about a dark haired boy, his thrilling life and adventures. When his Hogwarts letter arrives, he discovers a new, magical world, and that not everything is what it seems to be, all in the form of a mythical bird that insists on befriending him. - This is seriously one of my favourite fics around, I absolutely love it. I'm constantly rereading it, I've lost count of the number of times, and I still enjoy it just as much the tenth time round as I did the first. I'd say that this is one of the best reincarnation fics in the HP/OP x-over verse.

One Piece

Azure and Ash by Mithril Lace Words: 86k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): Marco/Ace For years Ace has dedicated himself to supporting his brothers. When the kingdom falls on hard times, Ace is forced to take drastic measures to care for his ailing little brother. Against Sabo and Luffy's wishes, he volunteers for a dangerous mission from the king: to kill  the creature responsible for the kingdom's distress and bring back proof - a single feather from the phoenix. - I love this fic~ I've re-read it a number of times now and it's one of my favourite Marco/Ace fics <33

NCIS

Burning Rubber an NCIS/One Piece X-over by Kitsune Foxfire Words: 217k, Rating: Mature, Status: Complete Relationship(s): None - That I can remember... It's never just another case, particularly not when conspiracies are involved. The corpse of a modern pirate shows up on a naval base, a continent away from where he was last seen. Signs show he had unusual abilities; so did the UNSUB. What role do two black haired brothers play in all this? Can the team figure out just what is going on here before it's too late? - A brilliant, brilliant fic. Well thought out and executed. I've only read it twice since finding it, but it's definitely a fic I'd be more than happy to read over and over.

[cookinguptales]

Oh god, I forgot to post the end of year writing meme. So here it is about a week late. I wrote so goddamn much this year. I never expected karabita fandom to just kind of. Happen. haha. It was weird going through my fics and thinking about things like good lines or good summaries. I wonder if anyone who reads the fics remember lines better than I do? It feels weird thinking about someone having a favorite fic of mine or a favorite line from one of my fics or something. After all this time, I still kind of think, like, “well, no one’s really reading/enjoying/remembering what I write” so it’s odd to think of my fics inside someone else’s head. I guess that’s what they’re for, though...

Anyway, my fics this year were full of a lot of ups and downs. If anyone wants to talk about any of them, or you have any questions or anything, it was really fun looking back through them and I’m kind of nostalgic now. lol

(under a cut bc wow this is long)

End-of-Year Writing Meme for 2016.

Stats

Total Word Count: 144,500 on AO3, but probably about 5k more if you count all the fics on Tumblr. I’m…setting aside the nonfiction. So let’s just say 150k.

Total Completed Fics: 44 on AO3, christ

Ship/character/fandom breakdown:

Just going for the ones on AO3 now, so add several more karabita Tumblr fics and and I think some danganronpa, gravity falls, muppets, and maybe SU? I can’t remember all the non-Osomatsu ficlets I wrote this year. On AO3, though, 34 Osomatsu-san fics, all karabita I think. One also contained Ichimatsu/Xmas Couple and Jyushimatsu/Homura. Two fics for Arsenic and Old Lace, both gen. Two Danganronpa fics, Ishimaru/Mondo and Gundham/Sonia. One Gravity Falls fic, Stan-centric gen. One Scooby Doo fic, gen. One Pokemon Go fic, gen. One The Final Girls fic, Vicki/Gertie. Two Muppets fics, both Bunsen/Beaker. Jeez.

Specifics

Best/worst title?

Best… I had a couple I’m fond of. Probably “The Road Not Taken (Again and Again and Again)”, “Six Sips of Strychnine”, or…god, a lot of these are puns. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that some of the pun ones, like “Fowl Play” and “A Ghost of a Chance” and “The Pokemon Trade” are the best and the worst. I’m also not thrilled with “Love’s Carriers”.

Best/worst summary?

Hmm. Frankly, I don’t think I’m very good at summaries. “There is a difference between living and surviving. Karamatsu hovers between the two.” wasn’t too bad. And both “Karamatsu knows that Chibita is drunk, but it's a little hard to take the moral high road with a hand on his dick.” and “Sometimes when two men love each other very much and one man is kidnapped by some aliens and some [censored] [censored] stuff happens, a beautiful miracle is created.” made me laugh. “Sometimes Karamatsu can see the choices he didn’t make, and ones he’s sure he did.” is probably the best, though.

Worst…uh… Most of them… My summaries are so half-assed. Probably either “Chibita loves his new dog, but Karamatsu is hiding something. (Spoilers: NO, he is not a werewolf, he's just allergic to dogs.)” or “‘Write a fic where [Karamatsu] eats a salad’ That's it, that's the fic.”

Best first line?

Errr. I have a few that make me laugh. “For a long time, Karamatsu had labored under the blissful delusion that he was basically a good person.” (All’s Fair In Love and Blow Jobs), “After being attacked by a horde of vampires, being held captive in their den of villainy, and becoming a denizen of the night himself, Karamatsu understandably had to make a few lifestyle changes.” (Developing A Taste), “There were some times, some crimes, that made Velma seriously consider getting a day job.” (Fowl Play). (That one in particular makes me laugh, but I don’t think most people got the allusion.)

I also think a couple set the mood pretty well, like “It all began with Karamatsu kneeling on Chibita's floor, head pressed to wood and his wings folded tight against his back, the perfect picture of submission.” (Feathers and Favors) or “Karamatsu stared dully ahead, not entirely sure whether it was the steam or the alcohol that was making his vision swim.” (The Road Not Taken)

Honestly, I think most of my opening lines are pretty good, or at least serviceable.

Best last line(s)?

I just closed all my fic windows. ;~; Honestly, most of my last lines are more like last paragraphs, and kind of sum up the themes of the fic. They don’t always work well outside of them… But this one is probably the funniest without context.

"She really was nothing but a giant chicken.” (Fowl Play)

General questions

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I wrote far, far more than I expected I would. I wrote almost three times as much this year as I have in all the other years put together on this pseud. (Though actually, I think I did write quite a bit on another pseud last year…?)

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I MEAN I FEEL LIKE KARABITA WAS THE DARK HORSE. I wasn’t even that into it when I started writing it!! I kind of became more comfortable writing the pairing as I went, and now I have a million ideas. I think it really was like 90% the support I got from the fandom that made me keep writing. Uh, that and personal stress. lol

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Uhh. I think Feathers and Favors is the one that meant the most to me, but I think Like Moving Parts is my favorite. It feels homey to me.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

GOD haha um probably mouth full of roses, eyes full of stars. I never, ever thought that melodramatic fic would be as popular as it’s become. It was such an experiment. I’m still not really sure why it caught on. Love’s Carriers also shocked me. I wrote both of those fics in such a short period, and I was expecting them to go largely unremarked. And then others I thought would go over well and they were basically ignored. so. Fandom is weird.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

I REALLY LIKED MY POKEMON AU but I also acknowledge that many of the best parts still remain on my hard drive. God, I need to post the rest of that fic. I guess the Pokemon craze has kind of passed, though…

Life Line, Heart Line wasn’t exactly underappreciated… I was just writing for a fandom of one and I knew it. It wasn’t shocking to me that no one read it, and it was mostly just a short ToT fic so it didn’t sting. (I…learned my lesson about writing really involved fics for minuscule fandoms after I wrote that Sleep No More fic.)

Story that could have been better?

Er… Probably a lot of them, all told. I’m really not very good at writing sex, so probably some of those especially.

Sexiest story?

I…guess probably the sexy rent fic, haha. Though again, I think a lot of the best parts of that are still on my hard drive.

Saddest story?

Errrr… Probably Little Ghost, Little Ghost or the zombie ficlets. Both of them that involve dead halves of my OTP and the other half coping badly, essentially. Or The Devil At The Crossroads, because that one involved suicidal ideation.

Most fun?

Probably the Muppet fics! It’s a fun canon. Or, oh my god, that silly, stupid Scooby Doo fic. I loved it, people loved reading it, it was stupid. It was really fun haha.

Story with single sweetest moment?

Uh.. Frankly, I think I specialize in sweet moments, so this is a bit hard for me. The confession scenes at the ends of Like Moving Parts and Feathers and Favors stand out, but I think most of my readers would pick other moments, lol.

Hardest story to write?

Emotionally, it was Feathers and Favors. I…cried a lot while I wrote that. It touched on some very personal parts of my life. Love’s Carriers probably required the most research. I had to walk to florists haha. The Arsenic and Old Lace fics fought me a lot, largely because of election angst, which is why I ended up writing two. I’m relatively happy with Six Sips, though.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

I had fun with basically every single monster one, hahaha. I have such a type. Paradoxically, I think that Feathers and Favors was also one of the easier ones to write. I wrote so much in such a short period of time, because it just flowed really well. I guess writing it was kind of therapeutic.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

Honestly, I think I thought a lot more about gag characters than is really right or proper this year. My perceptions changed a lot, and I came to love both Chibita and Karamatsu even more. (Which…is what happened to me when I wrote Beaker last year…)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Uhh… I mean… I wrote a lot of short, weird little fics this year, but largely in a fandom where I mostly knew I’d have an audience. (But I did worry a lot about alienating said audience, especially after they got used to fluff from me.) The zombie ones were outside of my comfort zone, but everyone was writing zombies so it wasn’t that much of a risk. The Road Not Taken actually was a risk; it was one of my first Osomatsu-san fics and I had no idea how it’d be received.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

I don’t know… I’d like to finish a few of the karabita WIPs I have on my hard drive, but… It does kind of seem like the fandom for the pairing is dying off, doesn’t it? I still have a lot of stories to tell, but maybe soon I’ll have no one to tell them to… So maybe one of my goals should be finding a new fandom, too, huh? I tend to hunker down when I find a pairing I really like, but I often stay long after the audience has moved on, which just leads to frustration. Sometimes I look at the karabita AO3 tag and feel kind of embarrassed because I’ve written such a large percentage of the fics that are there, like maybe I’ve glommed onto something dumb too much? But it’s been one of the few fun things in a terrible year, so oh well, whatever. Still, branching out a bit couldn’t hurt.

I’d also like to write more of my ideas for original fic, though I’ll admit I find that very… large. My origific ideas have a habit of getting away from me, and then they’re too big and I get overwhelmed and set them aside. I should probably give them a chance to grow, though. I have so many f/f ideas, and the world needs more f/f origific.