#anya is so much more than what you see of her

[nezuscribe]

(previous part)

it's been a week since you've spoken to arranged!gojo, and he feels like he's about to start going crazy.

you don't speak during your meals, not even when he addresses you in a question. sometimes you spare him a glance, but he'd still rather see your icy glare than see nothing at all.

and he knows he fucked up. he knows that you seeing him alone with anya was perhaps the worst possible place you could’ve caught him, but he's been almost begging you to listen to him, to hear his side. but every time he goes to explain you leave abruptly, leaving him alone, feeling the looks of pity from those around the two of you.

and you know you're being petty. after all, the two of you are only bound by words, nothing else. if anything, the two of you were just becoming friends, so this shouldn't hurt you as much as it does.

but you hear the whispers of the ladies, hear of their secret proposals of how gojo would surely bed them if they just asked. how miserable he must be trapped with you, how this marriage is ruining his life. and you know anya, know about her history with him. before you were his wife you were the higher echelon wallflower, listening to all the gossip, observing from afar.

you've gathered some ideas in your head as to why he might want to speak with you. perhaps he wants to gently break the news that he's found a mistress, one that he actually loves. or that maybe he's already had one and now you know why he's been so secretive.

so the more he tries to talk to you, the more you pull away. you don't know why he cares so much, why this even matters to him. if anything, you feel like he should be content with your silence.

but he's not, and gojo grows more restless by the hour.

he decides he can't live like this anymore. tonight he's going to make you listen to him, even if you want nothing to do with him.

you're holed up in your room, talking with alina as she dabs lavender oil on your neck before you go to sleep. you know she knows about your silence with gojo, but ever friend, she does nothing to bring it up.

well, she wouldn't have to if he didn't come knocking feverishly at your door.

you watch in your mirror as she peeks her head out, her gasp of surprise causing a sinking pit to form in your stomach. you can hear how she scrambles with the titles of my lord, how she explains that you're nearly about to go to sleep.

it's late, the only light is the flickering of the candles on your nightstand. he should be asleep by now.

gods, you wonder for the millionth time this week, why does he care so much?

alina finishes up, closing the door slightly as she turns to you, her eyes finding yours in the mirror.

"i'm sorry my lady," she bows her head almost apologetically, "but my lord wants to talk to you. he's requested me to leave...if you'll excuse me," she bows, quickly leaving, not giving you any time to actually excuse her. you know she can't stay any longer, but you do wish she put up more of a fight. you watch her skirt bustle away, the door being left slightly ajar.

you try to act nonchalant, continuing to dab the oil onto your wrists as you look down, even when you hear the door click shut, even when you can feel his presence several feet behind you.

you sigh through your nose, heat rising to your cheeks.

"what?" you bite out, your own voice shocking you. you want to get this over with, not too desperate to hear about how he's ready to take on a mistress and shun you away.

you can hear him take in a deep breath, your eyes briefly looking up in the mirror to catch his, the same ones that make your knees weak, and avert your gaze.

"you haven't spoken to me in over a week," he says after a beat of silence.

you shrug indifferently, despite the fact that he could probably ask you the specific amount of hours it's been since the two of you had talked and you'd give an accurate number.

"i've been busy," you murmur, taking your earrings off as you place them gently in the little glass bowl to the side.

he doesn't say anything about your blatant lie, just nods slowly, as if he understands.

"i missed hearing you talk," gojo tells you quietly, almost as if his voice had been stuck in his throat, and you wonder if any man before him had ever tried to sweet talk his wife before he told her about his new mistress.

you don't say anything, still refusing to look at him as you stand up from your seat, turning off one of the candles near you as you smooth out some of the wrinkles of your nightgown.

"is this what you really want to tell me gojo?" you say bluntly, looking to the side momentarily, getting a longer look at his bulky figure, how he tries to make himself seem smaller, "that you miss my stupid jokes and dull stories?"

"they're not stupid," he quickly cuts in, his voice a little stronger, brows furrowed, "and i like your stories."

you roll your eyes, moving around the bed, to the side where he's not, and fluff your pillows. you've never found this useful, but it gives you something to do with your hands other than fidgeting with them.

truth be told, you're reflecting. you're scared of what it is he has to say, and so you try to appear stronger, and less caring, despite the fact that it's tearing you apart.

you try not to feel self-conscious of the fact that this is his first time ever seeing your room, or the fact that it's so bland. you didn't come to this estate with many things, and so you've tried to spruce up the space as much as you can, but aside from the few flowers and paintings on the wall, you fear it looks bland compared to everything else he's seen.

"and no," gojo adds, running a hand through his already tousled white hair as his arms crossed over his chest, and you finally allow yourself to stare at him, "that's not all i wanted to say."

he paused for a second.

"i don't know why i followed her out, or why i even stayed to hear her speak, but she kept saying these things about..." he trails off, gnawing on his lips as your eyes narrow slightly.

"me?" you finish for him, and his eyes dart to yours.

gojo nods a little bit, arms bulging a little bit as if remembering what she had said.

"i'm used to people staring at me, i lived with it my entire life. but with you, people..." he struggles to find words, "people stare longer. and i don't know why."

you raise a brow.

"do you want me to explain?" you say and he looks at you briefly, almost in a brazen way.

he shakes his head as if he had steered off track.

"that's beside the point. what i wanted to tell you is that she...she was saying some nonsense and i was about to leave until she offered for me to stay at the hostelry she was at." his blue eyes are wavering, his finger itching to get closer to you. this stupid bed is in the middle of you two and he wishes it were gone.

your breathing hitches a little bit, and you hope he doesn't see the sad tilt on your lips.

"so i banished her. or, well, i guess you saw her and then i banished her, but i would've done it regardless," he explains hurriedly, "look, i'm sorry...really sorry. if you want me to-"

"you banished her?" you cut him off, voice raised slightly in confusion.

his mouth gapes open for a second, and then blinks slowly, nodding.

"of...course," he tilts his head, his gorgeous head, slightly "you know that i am married, right? to you? she was offering to-"

"i thought you were going to tell me that you slept with her. o-or i don't know! that you were going to make her your mistress or something!" you spew out, your voice raised as you pace around the floor, moving a little bit closer to him as his eyes widen.

"why would you ever think that?" gojo says in a panicked tone, nothing like the man who commanded the northern army, but more like somebody who was watching his world burn in front of him.

"why?" you exclaim, shocked, "why? are you daft? every single woman wants to sleep with you! every single time we host those dinners, o-or we go to those parties, they look at you and they look at me and they pity you. i hear the whispers of the ladies, how they wouldn't mind being the other woman."

gojo hears the way your voice wavers, how your lips tremble, and the way you try not to let your bottom lip quiver. he sees the way you try to stay strong, to keep your image unbridled, but right now he feels like he's watching you break and he doesn't know what to do.

"so? what makes you think i'd do anything with them?" gojo argues, his voice raised a little bit, not in shouting, but in genuine disbelief.

you take a moment to step back and observe his behavior, and a nagging voice in your head tells you that he's telling you the truth. that he's concerned and worried, that maybe all he came to tell you tonight was an apology.

but that can't be correct.

so you sigh, your arms crossed over your chest protectively.

"i...i don't know," you murmur, "you sleep in another wing, you're always away. i thought...maybe..." you can't meet his eyes, fidgeting with the ring on your finger.

gojo takes a step forward, lips parted, cheeks rosy and flushed.

the two of you don't say anything for a minute, his chest heaving up and down. you feel like there's a weight both removed and added onto your shoulder.

"why didn't you say anything?" he whispers, "did you think...did you think i was...?" he can't finish the sentence, the words themselves too gruesome.

he doesn't say anything as he takes another tentative step closer.

you watch him, your eyes mirroring one another.

"i made a vow to you," his voice is heavy, traveling across the spanning stone walls, going deep into your bones, "and even if you prefer me to be your friend, i'll keep to that vow till the day i die."

your eyes gloss over, lips trembling.

you don't say anything, taking a couple steps forward as you smash against his chest, face crumpling against the stone wall of his torso as you hug him tightly, hoping that he can't feel the tears that seep through his nightshirt.

never in your life has somebody made a promise to you. and never in your life has somebody kept to that promise.

"thank you," you murmur, your voice muffled as his arms wrap around your body, steady and strong.

"and anyways, i'd prefer to be married to you than those miserable women any day," he mumbles into your hair and you laugh wetly, squeezing your arms tighter.

"really?" you say, tears blurring your vision.

"really," he hums, not able to say anything because he fears what you'd say if he told you that he'd rather be your husband and your friend. but he'd keep that inside, respecting your wishes.

if only he knew you wished the same.

[mind-intheclouds342]

Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly

Previous - Part 17 - Next

You were looking at the table with your cup of coffee in front of you.

So... calm...

You could think before hearing the loud bang.

You immediately got up running, worried to know that the hallway from where that was coming was where he was locked up.

Your heart almost stopped for a second when you saw the door to his room wide open.

Swansea lying on the floor unconscious.

What alarmed you the most was that he didn't have his axe with him.

Daisuke: "What happened?!"

He ran to the scene. While you were searching Jimmy's room from top to bottom, making sure he wasn't there.

"Stay with Swansea and lock yourselves in Jimmy's room! At least he won't be able to get in there! Now! Now!"

You helped Daisuke move Swansea to the room and closed the door once they were both inside.

You ran through the hallways to head directly to the nursery, hoping to arrive before him since it wasn't locked because you no longer felt the need to close it.

The baby's cry made you realize that you had arrived too late.

Anya: "GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!"

The woman was holding a chair from that place, the baby was crying loudly lying alone on the bed, Curly was watching from his stretcher, breathing heavily.

Jimmy: "I just want to talk to the captain, get out of my way."

He had the axe in hand, he looked completely out of his mind.

The moment you saw him raise the axe, you drew the gun from your uniform, took off the safety, and the first thing you did was aim for his head.

To quickly lower your aim and shoot behind his knee, making him scream and fall to the ground in an instant.

You immediately jumped on him to pin him to the ground, kicking the axe out of his reach.

You saw him open his mouth and didn't hesitate to put the gun against his cheek.

"You don't have the right to say a single word."

He fell silent upon feeling the metal against his face, looked around the room, and fixed his eyes on Anya, who for the first time held the baby to try to make her stop crying.

As soon as Anya picked her up, she immediately left the room; she didn't want to be near that man, and the need to keep an innocent creature away from such a monster gave her the strength to carry the baby and leave with her.

You were soon alarmed by several footsteps, and when you looked at the door, you sighed seeing the rescue team, feeling tranquility after such a long time.

They first took care of Curly, followed by Jimmy for the wound in his leg, and then soon continued with Anya and the baby. She had to give a testimony about the events in order to press charges against Jimmy, the baby being her strongest evidence.

You had to get Swansea and Daisuke out of the room where they had hidden, they took the older one to make sure he was okay, he was still just unconscious from the blow to the head he received when he was thrown to the ground.

You sat next to Daisuke in the rescue ship, staring at the floor distractedly.

The boy placed his hand on your shoulder, making you turn to look at him slowly.

Daisuke: "You saved us, you did it"

You felt how he hugged you and rested his head on your shoulder, feeling your uniform soak with his tears.

Daisuke: "We're going back home..."

A few men interrupted you to ask for your testimonies so they could finish their report on the trip and the inconveniences you encountered.

You didn't even know how you were able to answer all the questions they asked you, your mind was on autopilot, responding monotonously until they let you go.

"Is everything really going to be how it was before?"

You asked Curly, sitting next to him, they had changed the bandages again, his wounds disinfected and carefully treated, he no longer bled constantly, he had an intravenous line, and his bed was much more comfortable than the stretcher he had been on before.

"Of course not..."

You rested your face on his chest, hiding there, feeling his arm resting on your back.

"Can I tell you something?...It's...Very important"

He made a hum and waited for you to tell him what you had in mind.

You leaned closer to his ear to whisper what you wanted, he looked at you for a few seconds somewhat puzzled, but soon seemed happy as he let out a pained chuckle, nodding his head.

You hugged him gently, nothing was going to be the same as before, but you were going to do everything possible to ensure that at least everyone would be happy after such a tragedy.

[elegantgardenrunaway]

Framed pictures

TW: Allusions to SA, suicide and Jimmy.

You are not part of the Tulpar crew, yet they already know you. At least what you look like thanks to the framed picture Anya has on her desk.

In addition to the picture, there are a couple of doodles scattered around so she wouldn't miss you too much. Yet the more she sees it, the more she feels the longing for your presence.

Do you miss her just as she misses you? Maybe more? Maybe not? No, that last part isn't true, as you would always pamper her every time she returns from a long trip. You would bring breakfast to bed, invite her to go out or maybe just cozy up at home.

Sometimes, when she's alone and feels like she doesn't have anyone to talk to, she would speak to your picture, usually about topics like her day, her worries and also what she wants to do with you once she cames back.

But after what happened with Jimmy, she felt horrible looking at your picture.

How could she explain something like this to you? Would you see her with the same eyes? What would you even think of ... That... thing... he put inside of her? Would you comfort her? Feel disgusted at her? She hopes not, she prays that it's not going to be the case. She apologizes time and time again to the smile framed in her hands and wishes you were there to comfort her, to hold her in your arms as you whisper reassurance to her ears.

She tried to hold on, she really did, she hoped she would be able to be back with you again. She can't stand the idea of you looking at the stars, waiting, wondering when she is going to come back.

But she can't really do so much.

So she says her final goodbyes to her captain, her real captain, and even though he didn't really do too much to help her in her situation, she supposes it's way better than ... Him. She takes the pills, and says her goodbyes to your picture, the frame broken after the impact of the crash.

She closes her eyes,

And she sees you again, with a tray of breakfast and a smile on your face.

She is back home again. Nothing will harm her anymore.

[dragonwysper]

Just finished Mouthwashing, after hearing all sorts of snippets of fandom drama about it. I'd stayed away from all that because I didn't have the context, but now I do! So I'm blasting you all with my thoughts.

Long post. Be prepared. Spoilers for Mouthwashing and CW for in-depth discussion of SA below.

So the biggest aspect of the drama side of the fandom that I've been seeing is how the game handled Anya's rape. Some people think it was devastating and properly showed the awfulness of Jimmy, and feel Anya's trauma was portrayed accurately and handled well. Others think Anya was somewhat one-dimensional; she was given a stereotypically female-specific trauma to match the different pain/traumas of the other crew members, and feel the subject wasn't given enough weight and respect.

After having played the game (while also going into it with the knowledge and expectation that it would be about SA), I can see both sides. Though I think my thoughts on everything come from some core details.

Firstly, the core theme of the game is not SA. It's karma. Jimmy is a terrible person who doesn't care about the pain he inflicts on others, as long as he gains something from it. The game follows him as he destroys the people around him, and treats them like fodder to fuel his own goals. We see all of this catch up to him in the end, and he's sortof divinely punished, or overcome with guilt, or whatever it is, because of it. Each person's harm is unique and everybody has their own micro-themes, but the core theme of the game is overwhelmingly karma.

Essentially, this is not a game about SA. This is a game about a terrible person getting what's coming to him.

Secondly, rape as shock content is a common gripe regarding mostly horror movies. It's a quick and easy way to create motivation, so much so that it's turned into its own subgenre of 'rape and revenge' plots. Think I Spit On Your Grave style movies. The other side of the same coin is objectifying the victim, which creates an exploitative feel. The act of the rape itself, and furthermore the shock of it, is more important than the victim and their feelings and trauma. Rape is detached from the lasting harm it causes, and is more something to justify getting up in arms about something/someone rather than a trauma.

And while we do see some of Anya's trauma from SA, Mouthwashing by and large is not meant to be a commentary on SA specifically. Again, it's about how terrible of a person Jimmy is, which makes the SA, at least in part, a tool to make the player hate him.

Ultimately, if Mouthwashing was changed to where Anya faced a different form of harm from Jimmy, instead of SA, it would still be just about the same game. You could still make a convincing game with karma and bad people getting their comeuppance as the core theme. And that I think is the most important realization to have about the subject.

Anya's SA was the first trauma, and the details of the aftermath are what kickstarted the plot, but it was, intentionally or not, a tool to make you hate Jimmy. Because the game isn't about Anya and her trauma. It's about Jimmy and his karma.

I think Mouthwashing is fascinating, and that theme of karma is not something I see done well very often. I think the style of the plot and all the little details that expound upon the micro-themes of the game are extremely well done. And I think it did handle its themes of SA better than a lot of content that discusses it. But it's not perfect, and it falls short of really digging into the true weight of it. It's not a game that makes any real progress on the portrayal of sexual trauma in media. It's cleaner and less graphic than 'rape and revenge' stories, but it ultimately still relies on exploiting the shock of rape to serve a 'bigger' plot.

It's late, I'm tired, and I'm struggling to properly word what I'm feeling, but hopefully my interpretation of nuance comes through.

[pixieishottogo]

"Anything" ♡ Curly x Anya

art credit: seagummies on twitter

warnings: angst, topic of miscarriage

this is a good ending au of mouthwashing! if u are a hater, then dni🥰 this post aint for u, babe

Chapter 1

Jimmy had been dead for the past few months due to the crash. The crew has been slowly rotting. They have lost all hope, and for good reason. Daisuke and Swansea are unconscious because of hunger and exhaustion. Curly and Anya are slowly losing grip. Despite all this, the beautiful glowing screen still showcased the moon and stars. Curly's hair sticks to his face due to anxious sweat. "Well, we had a good run. Didn't we." Curly smiled. Anya laid beside him and she smiled despite the tears rolling down her face. "Yeah." Curly's breath hitches "Anya... I'm-”

Curly opened his eyes with a jolt. There he was, in the hospital. His whole body was aching. A nurse walked over to his bed, "How are you feeling, sir?" His eyes widened harshly. "Where is my crew?" He yelled. "Are they okay? Is Anya alive? I never got to tell her I'm sorry!" Curly's heart beat spiked. Thinking about Anya's distressed face made him feel nauseous from guilt. He placed his head in his hands, as if grappling with reality. The nurse spoke gently to try and to calm him down, "Everyone is okay. Some are still waking up." He sighed, feeling relieved. A doctor came into the room. "How did we survive? How are we home?" Curly was more than shocked. The doctor walked up to him, holding his papers. "Another space ship found you guys. Some astronomers were on an expedition in the area. You all were very lucky they were out there." The doctor said, cracking a smile. Curly looked down at his hands. "What room is Anya in? If you don't mind asking." Curly asked quietly. The nurse responded, "Room 25. And this is 24." After doing some basic checkups, and giving him some medicine for the pain, the doctor and the nurse left. Curly laid there, alone with his thoughts.

A few hours pass by, and unable to just sit and do nothing, Curly sneaks out of his room. He finds Anya sitting down in the lobby. The moon light shining on her in her hospital gown. She looked tired as usual, and mentally drained, but she still smiled faintly when she heard his voice. "Anya!" He cried out, limping towards her. She looks up at him and smiles with tears in her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her and cried. She held his head gently. "Anya... I-I I'm so sorry. I should have done something. You already had told me that you felt uncomfortable around him. I felt like I was losing my mind. I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry that I made it seem like I didn't care. I care so much. I will do anything you want to gain your forgiveness. We don't have to ever talk again if that's what you wish. I'm so sorry, Anya." The words came out almost pleadingly, and rushed. He couldn’t hold back a sob. "Captain-... Curly. Our worst moments don't define us. I don't blame you for what happened, we were in the middle of space. But it will still take me a long time to heal. Thank you." Anya was always the more quiet kind. She didn't know how to respond. After several quiet minutes spoke quietly, "I lost the baby." Curly looks up at her, his eyes slightly wide. To not offend her, he asked honestly, "How do you feel?" Tears rolled down her face, as she stared at the ground. "Empty.”

In the morning, Curly and Anya met up with Daisuke and Swansea. It seemed they were recovering well. The crew all sat together in the lobby. It was surreal, everything felt so much lighter. Almost happy. "How are you guys doing? What do you plan on doing after this?" Curly asked. Daisuke's face lights up, "That was totally crazy! I'm happy we survived. I can't wait to see my mom." Swansea pops in, "Heh, It will be nice to be with my family again. No more pony express. I get to be a retired lazy old man!" Swansea chuckles. Anya and Curly look at each other smiling. It felt like a dream.

A few days went by, and the crew slowly recovered. Everyone was released from the hospital once they were fully recovered. Getting back from the hospital was refreshing. The sterile white rooms grew to be nauseating. He could finally go home. Curly pulled up to his home, the sight of his big white house with blue shutters made him smile. That company never cared. Some random astronomers were the ones who cared enough to save them. He was free from that stupid job. He hated being glorified, he soon realized. Curly felt like a monster after everything that had happened. His loving pet guinea pig was waiting for him in his bedroom. Curly’s mother would take care of her every day while Curly was gone. Whenever anyone visits, they are surprised that he has such a small creature when he's such a big guy. Almost every time someone says the classic "Wow. I thought you would have a dog of some sort, captain." He sighed and flopped on the bed but gently held Daphne. He felt so relieved to be home, after all this time. But every time he tried to close his eyes, he would see Anya's crying face

☆

sooo this is my first fan fic ever that im gonna actually commit to😭 plz be patient. also, im gonna try to write the miscarriage plot as realistic as possible. i have had multiple friends and family that have suffered from miscarriages

[citruslullabies]

hi Ms.Flaire, are you okay with writing a Daisuke and Anya fic..? It's not intended as a ship, but I would like just something short and sweet, maybe a little hurt comfort. like .. she tells Daisuke about what happened to her, and he comforts her. Im sorry to ask for such a thing, but as someone who has been in her shoes before. I crave for that feeling of comfort that I was never given.

Of course dear. I understand, I've been in her shoes too.

Trigger warnings: heavier than what I would normally write. Talks about rape and the experience, just overall heavy.

Romantic/platonic?: platonic

Requested by: anonymous

Category: comfort fluff

Ship (romantic or platonic): Anya x Daisuke

Word count: 627

Vultures

Anya hadn't been the same.

She felt disgusting in her own skin and felt like hands were creeping along her at all times, a possessive hold that made her want to throw up. All thanks to one man that ruined her life.

She couldn't bear to be around anyone very closely. They were all men and after what happened with one, she feared all of them. She feared their hands and their mouths and the way they'd approach. She felt as if she was an animal on the side of the road, not yet roadkill, being circled by vultures. Helpless and defenseless to anything that may happen. Unaware if they would swoop down to hurt her more.

The nurse couldn't even look in the mirror anymore, feeling a sense of dread whenever she looked at herself. Knowing that she had been violated and that her tormentor would get away with it since they were in the middle of space, and who would believe her when they got home to earth? It was painful. It was isolating. She felt so alone.

One young man had noticed her behavior, one that used to make her smile and laugh with his silly drawings and silly ramblings. Drawings of his were pinned onto the board in her office that she would find herself staring at, and yet they managed to make her feel so much more alone than before. One day, Daisuke came to talk to her. To see what was wrong.

He walked inside and saw Anya sitting on a stool, holding a printed photograph of an ultrasound in her shaky hands. She felt violated on the inside and the outside. A part of him would forever remain inside of her and it made her want to throw up. She hadn't even noticed Daisuke through her horror.

“Anya..?”

The sweet accented voice penetrated the thick air, and yet she couldn't look up at him. Couldn't respond. She continued to stare at the very thing inside of her that would forever haunt her and remind her of what Jimmy did to her. Daisuke approached nervously and took a peek at the printed photo in her hands, confused as to what it meant. Whenever he asked her, she was silent. But when she finally responded it shattered his heart.

Sobs bubbled up her throat as she choked and squeezed the photo tighter, her hands hurting from the sheer adrenaline of fear and panic rushing through her veins as she sobbed out an answer. The more she cried and told what felt like her only friend on this god forsaken ship, the more angry Daisuke became and yet the more sympathetic. He wanted to help her, but what could he do??

Silently, he took the photo out of her hands and replaced it with his own two hands. With a gentle squeeze and his forehead resting against hers, he spoke up softly.

“It'll be okay, Anya.. I'm here. I'm right here.” Is what he whispered ever so quietly, making Anya’s eyes water more as she desperately squeezed his hands and wailed. She couldn't choke up anything more. She felt silenced until now with the fear of what Jimmy would do to her, and yet she felt heard. But no amount of comfort could ever take away the disgust and pain she felt, it could never take away the feeling of wanting to peel her own skin off and rid herself of anything he touched. She wanted to rip her own womb out.

But for now, she just sobbed while Daisuke listened and rubbed his thumb against her knuckles. It was all he could do for now, knowing that he couldn't do anything to Jimmy.

Anya was safe with him. Away from the vultures.

Thank you for requesting!

[cyberfunsupporter]

been thinking about anya all week and wow. wow. jimmy really makes her out to be this incompetent loser but really, jimmy was not only the reason curly ended up in such a state, but anya managed to keep him alive even though they were stranded and had little medical care… he made a big deal out of everything, was rude to her when he didn’t have to and made sure to make her feel sick every single time he “helped” out. but he didn’t help. he was dramatic and emotionally volatile and made her feel useless just because she asked him to do a simple thing. she already felt terrible and scared, having been literally raped by him and forced to stay in the same enclosed area as him until they’re rescued or something happens and she did her best to stay away from him, to protect herself, to lock herself away (wanting locks on rooms, locking the medical room when she died) or have some kind of defense (hiding the gun) against him because he was terrifying, didn’t view her as human or equal in any sense and didn’t see anything wrong with the way he took over her body. jimmy already has a pattern of using people, like when he used daisuke’s idolization of him to get daisuke hurt in the air vents to save ANYA. because jimmy didn’t wanna get hurt or save anya. he takes responsibility at the end but not for anya. he thinks his true crime that everyone’s out to get him for is because of what he did to curly. but he’s okay with people getting hurt and he’s okay with anya being scarred forever and hurt because he doesn’t view anya as a person so he never takes responsibility. he doesn’t even notice. he doesn’t care

[dykedvonte]

I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.

I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?

The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.

[tenderjock]

i do think the most interesting interpretation of btvs lore is that non-vampire demons and mystical entities ALL have souls, unless they sold, destroyed or otherwise got rid of them (like the mayor)

[girlcockholmes]

for my beloved followers still working on buffy dont read. god i just need to talk about it because its tearing me up

[swanpyart]

Honestly, there’s a lot of instances of the game where Jimmy’s intense rewriting of history really shows how delusional he is. And I don’t think these manifest from guilt, but from a victim-martyr complex: a lot of these are used to make himself look good to the audience, but the utter dissonance between these visions and reality make it terrifying instead.

1. The Birthday Party scene

It seems like something obviously scary, but it’s actually what Jimmy thinks his crew should do. He wants to be celebrated, wants to be admired, and up until he dies is still convinced he was just a well meaning guy who did his best. The party was not a guilt and fear ridden hallucination, but Jimmy deluding himself into thinking he’s the hero. His team should be thanking him and throwing him a party, even when they’re all dead by his own actions. In reality: there probably isn’t even any balloons or confetti, and all Curly sees is Jimmy and the rest of the corpses of the crew sitting at an empty table in a dark room.

2. Curly in the Chair attached to Wheels

The scene where Curly is attached to wheels that must be turned for his organs to sit right so you can feed him his leg is also a good example. This isn’t how bodies work, and Curly is a burn victim, so his internal organs being rearranged makes no actual sense; all of his health issues are external. No, this is what Jimmy thinks must happen; that Curly simply can’t keep down his food, and that all Jimmy needs to do is try harder to get him to eat it. Jimmy, in reality is probably just forcibly feeding Curly his own puked up leg chunk over and over again until Curly grows too tired to fight. And isn’t it like Jimmy to shove a square peg in a round hole and insist it’s the hole’s fault? Jimmy already has shown he’s perfectly fine with force feeding Curly already and is not afraid to get violent when doing so. The reality of that situation is that Curly was probably resisting as much as he physically could, but eventually grows too tired of the abuse and just gives in.

3. Swansea with an axe

And with Swansea, the entire sequence of Swansea chasing him around with an axe may be partially true, but a lot less even-sided in reality. Swansea was shown to have a temper, but killing Daisuke was horribly difficult and emotionally crushing, even if he wouldn’t admit it outright. Jimmy on the other hand clearly views Swansea as an axe wielding maniac who kills without remorse and wants to hoard the cryotank all to himself. I think Jimmy was hallucinating Swansea chasing him around, because I think it would be in character for Jimmy to witness Daisuke’s death at Swansea’s hands and, rather than think over his actions, instead become paranoid and fearful that Swansea would target him, too.

Cus think about it: while Swansea is bigger, he’s also a drunken old man whose grieving the loss of a kid he viewed like his own, while Jimmy is a comparar healthy younger man with a gun. Jimmy already has a track record for picking on those he sees as vulnerable (Anya being the only woman with her room not having a lock, Daisuke being the youngest and easy to influence, and Curly being physically disabled and unable to fight back). What’s more likely: that Swansea suddenly goes from sullen and mournful to an axe wielding maniac gunning for Jimmy’s blood, or that Jimmy is paranoid about an older grieving man and holds him at gunpoint to tie him to the chair?

Feel free to add more examples, this is fascinating

[nezuscribe]

there’s been a couple nights where you and arranged!gojo have had to host little dinners at the estate to show face and let people know you two are still alive.

it’s before the big confession, when the two of you were becoming closer, so it was just pretend niceness hiding the tension for a couple hours.

you tried to talk to the people around the large dining room table, sitting near gojo as you listened in on the conversation, but it was better to just be a part of it rather than the center of the spotlight. gojo had become increasingly aware of the long looks people gave your way, the hushed talks behind the women’s hands. you didn’t notice, maybe you’d been jaded to it, but he did, and he was becoming more tense under their stares.

he noticed how you’d try to jump in and say something, but was instantly cut off by somebody else. gojo had told you before the dinner started that the two of you should hold hands, but you hadn’t let go of his, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to let go of you either. he’d give you an encouraging squeeze, one which you gave him a little smile to, but still clammed up, sitting back in your seat.

"want me to tell them to shut up?" he whispered to you, dropping his head near your ear so that nobody else could hear.

"no it's okay," you say with a laugh, waving it off, "i was just going to ask what cashmere is," you say, in relation to a previous story one of the girls was telling about cashmere moth, and how her entire closet was chewed to bits because of the creatures.

"it's a type of fabric," he explains gently, his eyes searching yours, "very soft," he adds with a little smile and yours grows wider.

"i'd like to see it," you comment, leaning a little bit closer to him.

"i'll have your closets full of cashemere by the morning if you'd like," he says, but you know deep down it could be a promise if you simply said yes.

but you giggle, shaking your head.

"no," you're looking up at him in that way that makes his tongue feel heavy, "the moths, they must be huge," you murmur and he snorts, squeezing your hand a little bit tighter in retaliation.

to be honest, gojo hated these dinners. these people he grew up with were dull and annoying, their conversations full of lame gossip and cheap jokes, and he’d much prefer your lively stories with just you, but they were a necessary evil.

when the servants had cleared the meal away and had begun setting up for dessert, he could feel the stare of one of the girls, anya, and the way her eyes squinted when he caught her looking. he saw the way she sneakily tipped her head back, chin pointing to the opening near some of the stone columns, and excused herself a couple seconds later, looking over her shoulder at him before she disappeared.

gojo knew anya. he’d fooled around with her a couple of times long before the two of you got married, but he found her a bit shallow and dim, nothing he found interesting. he looked over at you to see if you had seen her, but you were looking at your plate, moving some grains of uneaten rice around with your fork.

curiosity got the better of him, wondering what it was she wanted, and so he stood up, his chair scraping behind him as you let go of his hand, you, along with everybody else, looking at him as he excused himself to the washroom.

he walked briskly past the table, leaving through one of the openings of the stone columns, looking around until he say anya at the end of the hall, waiting for him.

“what?” he bit out, hushed, looking behind him to make sure that nobody had followed him out.

anya smiled, her teeth glimmering as he neared her, standing a safe distance away as she pouted slightly.

gojo winced. he forgot how her smile up close was unnerving, the way it wasn’t as soft or full of emotion like yours. her eyes, a deep hazel, glimmered as she took a step closer, her fingers reaching for his collar.

“i missed you,” she whispered, lips glossy as she peered up at him, her lashes batting against her cheeks as he felt his mother dry up, feeling a sudden air of nausea overtake him as he swatted her hand away.

he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“is that all you wanted to tell me?” he hissed out, knowing how stupid he sounded seeing how he had followed her out, surely expecting this.

“what?” anya tilts her head, “thought you’d like to hear it.”

gojo rolls his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest.

“i thought you had something important to say,” he shrugs, looking away, focusing on a crack, getting ready to leave until she laughs, shaking her head.

nobody said he was the brightest soldier in all the land. he’s not above some actually good gossip, but he had a feeling this ain’t about to be that.

“you’ve always loved gossip,” her eyes glimmer as she takes another tentative step closer, “is that why you married the center of it?”

his eyes narrow slightly, but she just sees him listening to her.

“come on,” anya snorts, her hand coming up to his face until she stops at his cold gaze, pulling her hand away, “we all know it’s not rank or looks that made you marry her.”

gojo feels his arms tighten, a vein bulging in his neck as he swallows thickly. he doesn’t say anything, wants to see how she continues, wants to see what everybody else thinks without saying it.

"i mean, your mother keeps saying it was reciprocal," she rolls her eyes, laughing mirthlessly, "but i know that's a lie. you look miserable whenever you're around her."

gojo feels his eyes twitch, his ring shining in the slivers of moonlight through the large, overarching windows.

"did you call me here to talk ill of my wife?" gojo bites out, but she can't sense his tone, giggling as she shoves him, his body not moving.

"drop the theatrics 'toru," he feels bile in his mouth at her sweetened words, "it's just me," she says, biting her lips as indiscreetly as she can, eyes raking over his toned body as she looks back up to his face, "but regardless, no, i had something else i wanted to tell you."

she sighs, her voice a little higher as if he wouldn't notice.

"i'm staying at the hostelry in the town near here for a couple of nights," she bats her eyes again, and suddenly gojo wonders if he had been insanely ill when he had slept with her those months ago because now he feels sick just looking at her, "if you wanted...i'm there for you."

he raises his white brow slightly.

"gods anya," he breaths deeply through his nose, his eyes darkened, "you have audacity if nothing else."

she smiles brightly, taking it as a compliment.

"i know," she winks, "i looked around the area, and nobody of import comes near there. i know you need it as bad as i do," her voice drops a little, eyes falling slightly to the ground, "people are talking. i know how lonely you must feel."

his nose wrinkles slightly in confusion.

"what are you talking about?"

anya looks at him briefly before looking away, shrugging.

"everybody knows you two don't share a room," she explains, "and how she's not even showing signs of pregnancy. is she frigid in bed? you know, some people are saying she's infertile."

gojo straightens up, a new look taking over his face that makes her voice die down.

"what? who's saying that? who's talking?" he presses, and she feels her mouth dry up, suddenly picking up on the fact that he doesn't seem to be at all interested in the deal she's trying to make.

he feels a sudden wave of mixed emotions washing over him.

are the maids taking? gods, that makes him feel even worse. it surely couldn't be yours, they care for you too much. but it must've been somebody who knows your situation, somebody who sees the way you live on different sides of the estate. gojo feels a sinking pit in his stomach. these rumors that are growing because of his own selfish actions, rumors at your own expense, ones you have no control over, by people you've been trying to befriend for ages.

he knows people look at you whenever you enter a room, hears their awfully concealed whispers. and despite the fact that you try to hide the hurt on your face, he sees the way you avade their glances, hide into yourself to act like it doesn't bother you.

are these whispers now because of him?

"i don't know," she mutters, annoyed, "everyone. you barely look at her. did your parents pay you to marry her? she must've been-"

"stop it." gojo warns, and she shuts her mouth, eyes shimmering with shock.

she looks like she's about to say something but stops, looking over his looming body at something.

"gojo? is that you?" another voice calls out, and he turns around, all the anger melting off of his face when he sees it's you, standing near the pillars as you try to find him.

you smile when you see him, still not seeing anya who's hidden behind him, and wave for him to come back.

"they're about to serve dessert," you say, trying to be as quiet as you can, "oh, are you with someone? sorry, i didn't mean to interrupt..." you trail off, your smile falling when anya shuffles around, making sure you see her behind him, your eyes widening.

gojo feels his world slipping beneath him as your shoulder drops, looking at him and then at anya, a somber look taking over your features. you look for another second, not knowing what to do. gojo feels like a fish, gaping silently at you, never looking back at anya, but you excuse yourself, going back to the dining hall without saying another word.

gojo stares aimlessly at the wall in front of him, not sparing his energy to look at the girl peering up at his face.

"get out," he murmurs, his voice low with timber.

"w-what?" she stammers, brows furrowing in confusion.

"get out before i call the guards," he snaps, looking at her from the side of his eyes, "fucking now anya, leave."

she looks up at him, swallowing thickly, but gets the memo that he's being serious. she scammers away, sniffling dramatically as she disappears through another hallway.

he drops his head into his hands, massaging his temples.

his eyes fall to his ring, the one that seems to be growing cold on his finger.

he feels his heart burn in his chest, every step feeling like he had stones tied to his feet as he makes his way back to the hall, hearing the edited clammer of the people welcoming him back, but there was only one person he cared about.

and you weren't looking at him.

in fact, you didn't speak to him that entire night. nor that following week.

gojo has almost bled to death before and has had arrows pierce his back and excite through his chest, but he'd rather experience that ten times again than feel the agonizing silence of the woman he's starting to love.

(second part)

[cherry-pop-elf]

Kiss It Better

Curly (mouthwashing) x reader

AN: No one asked for this but CURLY DESERVED BETTER-!

Sum: You were taking care of Curly, your partner, when you just had to ask him a question that was burning you as much alive as the cockpit burned him. Did he actually crash the ship?

Warnings: 18+, gore, medical situations, Jimmy, violence, just mouthwashing in general, ablism, lots of medical stuff (from someone that knows way to much about medical shit because of being in and out of the hospital all her life)

“Morning honey.” You would force yourself to smile. You had to. You had to for him. To give him hope like he always gave you. To be a little bit of real sunshine through the day. Just wanted to take care of him. Give Anya some kind of break.

A wheeze was your greeting.

Wasn’t like it was his fault. He couldn’t really speak right now. You wondered if he would ever speak again. You would miss his voice but it’s worth it for him to live. He will live, you knew he would. You would make sure of it.

“Let’s have a look at you.” You would grab the clipboard that Anya left for you and took a look over. The small little list to help you understand how to care for his issues. When to wash him, what time his medications were, whatever routine was needed for that day. Was your Bible so to speak. You followed it to the last ink splotch.

“Your bandages don’t look to need to be changed yet, your IV bag needs to be changed, I’ll check your catheter, and yada yada yada. Wanna try and swallow today? Maybe if you can swallow some water I can grind up the pain pills into powder for you. Wanna try?”

He gave two distinct blinks for yes.

“Wonderful. Let me do this routine, so you can mentally prepare.” You would explain, as you went to slip on the latex gloves. Didn’t want to risk transferring some kind of infection. He’s already fighting for his life as it is. No need to make it harder.

You would first change out his IV bag, since he needed to stay as hydrated and fed nutrients as possible, before working on the awkward catheter. Luckily Anya made it very easy to use. She had opted for a condom catheter since she didn’t want to put himself at anymore risk to infections, and pain, as possible. Seemed the trauma made it rather impossible to control his bowls anyway so it worked out. All you had to do was drain the bag, wash it, and reattach it to the side of the table. Wasn’t like he was going to be moving around much anyway.

“So Daisuke was showing me his gameboy. Teaching me about how the lore works and all that. I really had no idea what he was talking about, but it’s better than Swansea snoring.” You laughed, and did your best to keep yourself peppy. To help Curly feel somewhat involved with society. To not just be trapped in the med bay alone. Daisuke and Swansea would visit, and Anya did what she could medically, but sometimes you just need someone to talk to.

“Think it’s a rouge like game. That’s nice. Helps keep you entertained with wanting to break through more and more dungeons in one session.” You rambled, before reattaching the bag. Had you sigh in relief to see you didn’t mess up the chord. Some urine had already started to fill the bag. Must have been triggered by the new IV. Good good. Everything was correct.

“You ready?” You asked, as this was always the hardest part. Getting medication in him. Anya would do her best but you couldn’t blame her for struggling. It’s such a mental tax to try and take care of someone but it results in more pain. You were willing to take that burden. You were his partner after all. You felt it’s only fair you take care of him. Gave Anya some breathing room to actually care for herself. She deserved to take care of herself to.

With two clear blinks you would get to work.

You would slip your hand under his back, and forced him to sit up. He groaned in pain, and tried his best to keep his head upright, as you two tried to work together. To survive this. To try and fight through.

“You are doing so well.” You reassured, as your brought the water bottle up to his open mouth. He was able to let his head hang back, and did what he could to open his throat. Was awkward, but he managed to do it. He took a proper swallow of water. You could hardly hide your excitement.

“You did it! Oh my god you did it!” You couldn’t help but kiss his cheek. It hurt, of course, but he very much felt it was worth it. He had his own pride in being able to do some kind of basic human function again.

You would lay him back down, and was quick to grind up medication to put in the water bottle. You couldn’t wait to tell Anya his progress. You were positive the rest of the crew would be happy to hear the progress.

Well…..Most of the crew.

You used your anger towards Jimmy to help you grind the pain killers into powder. Oh how you hated him. You knew deep down he was responsible for the crash. You knew he was. You weren’t sure why he would be, but you just knew that Curly would never. If he had to, for whatever reason, he would have come on to the intercom to inform everyone to prepare for a crash. He would have done something. Anything.

What purpose would there be in crashing the ship?

Jimmy was his copilot. He would be the only other person to have access to the cockpit. He had to have been involved somehow. There had to have been something going on. You just knew it.

You just wish you had proof.

You sighed, as you would shake up the powder in the bottle. Made sure it was fully dissolved to avoid any issues with it going down his throat.

You just couldn’t understand.

Why would Jimmy crash the ship?

You would return back to curly, and do the same routine again. Slow, and small, drips into his throat. Would take a while, and would make your arm beg for death, but this would make life easier for Curly. That’s all that mattered. A arm cramp is worth it to help Curly survive.

“Curly…..Since you are more lucid now I….I just gotta ask something.”

The way his eye darted towards you said he knew what you were going to ask. Knew that it’ll be asked. He knew, and he couldn’t help but try and look towards the door. As if afraid someone would walk in.

That had you very concerned.

“…..Jimmy crashed the ship, didn’t he?” You whispered. Tried to be as hush as possible, in case someone did overhear. Was just the slow drips of the water into his dry mouth, and you.

One blink.

Two blinks.

“I fucking knew it.” You gritted your teeth, as you felt stupid to ever even have the slightest doubt that any possible reality there would be that Curly would do such a thing.

“I wish I could ask you why. Do…Do you know why?” You had to ask. You just needed to know. Know if Jimmy was as dangerous as you thought.

One blink.

T-

“How’s the captain doing?”

You would turn your head sharply, and saw Jimmy. Just standing there. God you were terrified how long he had been there. Did he hear what you asked? Didn’t seem so. Jimmy was a very aggressive person. He snapped at the slightest tone shift. If he heard you ask a question like that you wouldn’t be talking now.

“He’s….Alive.” You were caught rather off guard. You didn’t know what to say. You were scared of him. You had to be brave, though. You had a better chance at defending yourself. Curly couldn’t.

You would hear his heavy foot steps come closer, and out right feel his body heat against yours. Just looking over your shoulder. Was like this burning shadow over you. Made you feel like you’ll be squashed like a bug.

“Has he been able to talk yet?”

That’s a weird question to ask. Why not ask how he’s feeling, what progress he’s made, how his vitals are. Why is him talking on the front of his mind?

Because Curly knew something he shouldn’t.

“No. I think he’s lost his voice for good. I don’t think he’s ever going to speak again.” You lied, as you finished the test of the bottle. Returned your partner back on the table, and spun around. Nose to chest to the man. Had you terrified, but you must be brave. For Curly.

“Damn. Rough for him. No more barking orders, huh?” Jimmy tried to joke, but you could only give an awkward laugh at. Mostly to keep from pissing him off.

If he’s willing to crash a ship what else is he willing to do?

“Did you need something?” You managed to force out, as you grabbed the clipboard. Just trying to find an excuse to not look directly at Jimmy. To have a motive as to why you would stay in the med bay longer than most. Just anything to get Jimmy to leave you two alone.

“Hey, I give a shit to about him. Is it criminal to care about my friend?” He snapped at you, and it made you grab your clipboard tighter. You swore he seemed to smirk at seeing you so startled. Like he got off to the idea that he got the captains sweetheart scared.

That he’s the new boss.

“Never said that. You are the co pilot and new captain. You-“ “Pilot now. As if he’s ever going to steer a ship again. Not even a wheelchair with those stumps.” He snorted, as you wanted to smack him across the face.

“Yes….As the new Pilot and Captain I would figure you would be swamped in work. Like finding a way for us to contact help. Kinda the biggest priority after Curly. Anya and I are busy with him. You, Daisuke, and Swansea can handle the rest.”

You noticed how he seemed to roll his eyes about Anya. As if he couldn’t care less about the woman. Made you curious on what kind of beef he would have with her. She’s Anya! Who hated her?

“Yeah. Guess you are right there.” He muttered, as if it was never on his mind. Never an option that they could escape. Oh how you were getting chills.

“Keep on trucken then. Take care of our Captain Cripple. His ass needs all the help his stumpy limbs can get.” He would give him a once over, before looking at you. You made sure to keep your eyes to the clipboard instead. All you did was nod in acknowledgment, before he left.

“What are we going to do, Curly?” You sighed, as you would just lay next to him in defeat. What can you do? You had no idea. Curly was always such a good captain. Made you regret never paying more attention to how he worked the cock pit. Maybe if you did you could be more useful.

As you were full of worry and regret, Curly would weakly try and turn his head. Naked teeth were against his cheek. A attempt to kiss your cheek the best he could.

You smiled at the gesture, and made sure to be careful with snuggling your face into his shoulder.

“I’ve got you, and you got me. We can do this. I know it.” You reassured you both, as you closed your eyes. There to wait until his pain medication kicked in, so he could sleep.

As you relaxed, you couldn’t help but swear something was strange about his breathing.

It was like….He was saying words.

You would focus as hard as you could on your ears, as he would drift in and out of his buzzed state. Fighting to stay awake, but sleep coming for him.

“A….a…n…ya…..Kn….ows……”

[curly-my-beloved]

So like… imagine if reader was the one who got hurt in the crash instead of Curly… how would pre crash and post react to reader? How would he treat them? This can be smut or just fluff, whatever you see fit fr fr

Can be GN reader too, we are inclusive her fr

-🥩 anon

one of the few asks that survived because they were in the drafts :')

Curly if his partner was the one burned instead of him

This man would not forgive himself.

Why were you even in the cockpit? You didn't even have a pilot's license.

Jimmy claimed he tried to stop you from crashing the damn ship. He claimed you were in hysterics. As unusual as that was for you.

He found it hard to believe, but alas, it was not like you could tell him the truth about how you tried to fix things after what Jimmy did. And how you got so terribly injured.

He firmly believed something terrible must've happened. He doesn't blame you, he blames himself. He was your partner, he should've seen something coming.

He visits you in the medbay often, carefully sitting on the edge of the bed and telling you about his day, his eyes still holding that soft, loving look they always did, even with all the pain and confusion he felt.

He would offer Anya breaks regularly and would be on your painkiller duty.

He's always apologize to you so much, assuring you that you're so brave and that you're doing great for him... He promises you that you'll get home and he'll get you surgery so you feel better. He promises to him that you're just as gorgeous now as you were before.

On the rare occasions where your pain is more bearable than usual, he'll carefully lay down next to you and hold you in his arms, maybe even lay you on his chest. He doesn't hold you too tightly, but you still feel the security that came from his body being against yours.

If your pain is too bad to hold you or even sit on the bed without disturbing you, even after the painkillers, he will take a chair and just sit next to you, trying to distract you with silly stories to the best of his ability.

He might tear up if he sees the painkillers taking too long to work. He hates seeing you in pain, it breaks his heart completely, but he never leaves until you're at least somewhat soothed.

Sometimes, he'll even end up sleeping on the floor next to your bed, just so he can be close to you. It is not particularly comfortable.

[deathbyday]

-'⁠🫧*⁠.⁠✧ MOUTHWASHING ✧.⁠*⁠🫧'⁠ -

P2

“How could we end up here…?”

Daisuke x implied F!Reader

f/c - favorite color

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Written By: DeathByDay

(Also written on Mobile)

————

A FEW WEEKS LATER

You’ve made conversations and friends along the way, which you were surprised by. Anya is hard to read along with Swansea, but she’s more distant than anyone you’ve ever met. Somehow, you two make a good duo nonetheless.

Swansea honestly didn’t like you all that much, but it was obvious he didn’t despise you either. You two normally hung out when it was break time or whenever he wasn’t busy. Usually, Daisuke hung around you two as well.

One reason is because he’s literally Swansea’s intern, and the other reason is because you suspect he might have a teeny tiny little crush on you. It’s probably nothing, though. Other than the fact he always asks hows your day going and makes sure you’re doing well. But that’s what friends do, right?

You laid silently in your bed, the thin blanket covering your body being your only source of warmth. You haven’t been able to fall asleep early, which has been causing you to wake up at 6:35am almost everyday, meaning you had to hear Jimmy complain about you not being awake on time at 6 in the goddamn morning.

You know he’s just trying to look out for you, but not even the captain cares about it that much. Yes, he has mentioned you waking up ‘late’ once or twice, but never full on lectured you about it like Jimmy has.

You groan, sitting up along the headboard. At this point, you’re desperate for a device of some sort. Like a phone or an iPad. You want to get sucked into some video game that’ll make the time pass by so much faster then it is right now. Suddenly, you perk up, realizing Daisuke may have a Gameboy that he brung with him.

You turn your head to the digital clock that sat right beside your bed, the numbers reading 10:36pm. You and the other crew mates weren’t allowed to be out of the sleeping quarters after 9:30, but nobody cares for that rule. Along side that, you knew you wouldn’t be able to rest anytime soon, so what’s the point of just sitting around?

You decide to sneak around the Tulpar and ask Daisuke if you could borrow his Gameboy for the night before returning to your own room. That way nobody would know you were walking around. Then when you see him in the morning, you’ll return the device. It’ll be like nothing even happened!

You set your plan into motion, standing up and heading towards the door. You made sure you don’t like you’re as exhausted as you actually are by covering yourself up with a f/c sweatshirt and pulling the hood over your head, which protected yourself from the cold and kept your eye bags out of sight. You walked outside your room, keeping your steps light.

You passed by Anya’s room, holding your breath as you did so. But you almost let out a gasp as you heard a voice coming from her room that wasn’t hers. You recognized that voice almost immediately. It was Jimmy’s.

You hurried towards Daisuke’s room, a bit too scared to press your ear to the door and listen to what they’re talking about. You ignore the sick feeling in your stomach to turn back, not knowing if it was as serious as what you were thinking. You made a mental note to ask Anya about it soon.

You finally came across Daisuke’s door and gently knocked three times, hoping that he was still awake. Luckily enough, he was. You heard his footsteps get louder before the door opens, revealing the guy you’ve been looking for. You tiredly smile up at him, seeing his confused expression.

“Oh, Y/N! What’s up?” His voice was soft, barely above a whisper. He stared down at you, waiting for your response. You played with your fingers, suddenly becoming too anxious to ask about his Gameboy. You swallowed the saliva that traveled to the front of your throat, rethinking your actions.

“Daisuke.. you have a Gameboy, right?” You asked, glancing up at him. He nods, possibly figuring out what you were about to ask. “This is kind of a bad time but.. I’m playing on it right now. Do you wanna wait for it? Or would you like to watch me?” Both of your eyes seem to light up at the thought of the two of you giggling like little kids, watching him play on his device.

“I’ll watch you!” You don’t seem as anxious anymore and it’s showing. He widens his door, allowing you to walk in. He shuts it, watching you with a soft gaze as you glance around his room. Like Anya’s, it wasn’t too neat but it wasn’t dirty either. You ultimately assume everyone else’s room is the same.

Just a few minutes later, you found yourself curled up beside the brunette, your hands gripping his clothed arm, the two of you watching him play Tetris. You were surprised at how good he is, knowing you’ve never gotten past your 14,051 highscore. You yawned, breaking the comforting silence between you two.

You subconsciously snuggled closer, feeling your eyelids get heavier each time you shut them. Daisuke chuckles, pausing the game before patting your head playfully. “You getting tired already?” He teases, setting his device down. You grumble, rolling your eyes as you look up at him. “Yeah, yeah.. at least I’m not going to sleep so late.” You retort, sniffling before lying your head on his shoulder.

“Do you think we would get in trouble if I stay here for the night? I mean, I heard Jimmy’s voice in Anya’s room, so it should be fine, right?” You ask, looking up at him with exhaustion. You could honestly pass out any second if you stayed in this position.

“Yeah, it’ll be fine. You don’t need to worry about that. Just get some sleep.” He would be lying if he didn’t say his face was flustered by how close you were to him. You immediately obey, wrapping your arms around his waist, your head laying on the side of his chest. You shut your eyes, ignoring how your heart is beating faster.

Daisuke’s right arm wrapped around your figure, his head lying on his pillow. He shuts his eyes, feeling the exhaustion finally catch up to him. The mixture of his soft snores and your breathing comforted the two of you in a way that couldn’t be explained.

You just couldn’t believe you were sleeping in the arms of a friend. But.. could you even call him that now..?

————

Getting in trouble for being in the same bed as your best friend was expected, but you didn’t expect his boss to be the one finding you two. The sad thing is, Swansea didn’t even knock. He just barged in and saw the two of you asleep, arms wrapped around each other and assumed the worst.

Both of you got lectured on how sleeping together was inappropriate. But then, Swansea leaned over the desk and whispered something that surprised you.

“Hey, now I’m not one to judge about that sort of stuff. And honestly, I couldn’t care less what you guys do. As long as you two keep it quiet while I’m trying to sleep, then by all means, go ahead.” He reassured.

You both stared at him in disbelief, not knowing that those were the words that would ever come out of that man’s mouth. You shook your head, brows furrowed upwards. Daisuke’s eyes were wide, cheeks flustered in embarrassment.

“T-..I’m sorry?” You tilted your head, wondering if you even heard him correctly. He shrugged it off as quick as he brought it up, letting you two deal with the new found information. You turned your head towards the blushing male, giving him a soft smile, trying to ease the tension in the room.

“Well, that was something!” You giggle, forcing the embarrassment down your throat. Daisuke nods, his face still beet red. You would tease him, but you know your face is the same color. Swansea motioned for the two of you to get out, and you both quickly did so.

You avoided eye contact with Daisuke as he did the same with you, clearly too scared to bring what just happened up. You both just stand there, not saying anything for a few moments. That was until you finally sighed and became brave enough to speak.

“Daisuke, I-I’m really sorry.. I should’ve never even thought of coming by your room.” You attempt to take blame, the redness in your cheeks calming down as you stared at the ground in shame. After all, it was your fault Swansea found out about the two of you sleeping together. You’re just glad he promised you he wouldn’t tell anyone, especially the captain.

He immediately turned his head towards you, eyes wide as he let what you said sink in. You taking the blame for something that was ultimately his fault? No way! “Y/N, you didn’t do anything wrong!” He shook his head, his face finally turning back to its original color.

“I was the one who let you in my room in the first place. I should’ve been thinking more clearly. Don’t take blame for something that was my fault.” He stated, his expression calm as he spoke. He presses the palm of his hand on your shoulder in attempt to comfort you. You glance up at him, a smile glazing your lips.

“Are you sure? You know I’ll take responsibility if Swansea ever slips up and says something, right?” You question, not wanting him to regret his choice later on. Daisuke gives you a confident nod, making you playfully sigh in defeat.

You giggle, placing your hand on top of his own that laid on your shoulder. You unconsciously step closer to him before wrapping your arms around him, pulling the male into a tight hug.

It took him a few seconds to process what was happening, but he slowly hugged you back, his chin on top of your head. You both stayed there, comforted by the silence that surrounded you two.

“I guess I can’t change your mind, huh?” Your voice was muffled due to your face being buried into his collar. You felt his body shake lightly, a chuckle escaping his throat. “No, you really can’t.” He confirmed, tightening his hold on you. It was like he was trying to protect you from something.

————

You watched from afar as Jimmy, Swansea, Daisuke, and Anya played the famous board game, Sorry!. You sat alone on the rock hard chair, sitting at the lounge table in the middle of the room. You wanted to get closer, yes, but you were still hesitant of being near Jimmy.

He just seems off to you. In a bad way this time. You shake it off, thinking you were just overreacting over a little thing. Maybe he wasn’t a bad guy at all and you were making up scenarios. But, it’s always better to be safe then-

“Sorry!” Swansea’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, making you jump as he shouts. He weakly chuckles as Daisuke groans, grabbing his game piece and placing it in another spot.

You light heartedly smile, pushing away the unsettling feelings of Jimmy and focusing on the positive. You really don’t have anything to worry about besides the job, of course. But that was easy. All you had to do was take notes and give reports on what’s happening to whoever would listen.

You drown out the groups laughter and get up from your seat, slipping out of the room unknowingly. The last thing you would want to do is draw attention to yourself. You walked through the skinny halls, wondering what hard material they were made out of. Iron? Possibly. Definitely not wood, though..

You suddenly bump into someone’s chest, causing you to look up at them and immediately apologize. You knew who you bumped into. Captain Curly. You weren’t that dumb. He chuckles deeply before waving you off like a little kid. “It’s alright, nothing to apologize for.” He reassured you, patting your head gently.

You stepped around him, watching over your shoulder as you continued walking to see if he would look back at you or not. He didn’t. All he did was continue along the path you came from like nothing happened. You released a sigh that you didn’t know you were holding.

You just know if you bumped into Jimmy, he would lecture you until midnight. No wonder Captain Curly’s the captain. You would probably end up going crazy if Jimmy wasn’t the second in command, but instead taking his friends position. Just thinking about it sends chills down your spine.

You continued walking until you got to the sleeping quarters. Going into your room, you shut the door behind you and looking at the digital clock. 7:28pm. You realize you should report back to the lounge area, knowing dinner is about to be served. That’s probably where Captain Curly was heading before you bumped into him.

You felt your face heating up, remembering the awkward situation you just had a few minutes ago. You take deep breaths before looking in the mirror beside your door, checking to see if you could see any redness. Luckily enough, you couldn’t.

You flattened down your suit, making sure you couldn’t tell there were any wrinkles before smoothing it down. You took a deep breath in then exhaled, opening your door and finally walking back to where you came from. You weren’t that excited about dinner being served, though. It was usually always the same meal every time, which was soup.

You didn’t know what the ingredients were to making it, and you’d rather not know. It looked like it was made from sewer water. Some days the liquid tasted better than the day before, other days it tasted worse. It was a 50/50 chance.

A few minutes later, you found yourself walking through the door. The quad was finishing up their game. You could tell who was about to win and who wasn’t just by looking at their faces. You turn your head to see Captain Curly laying the bowls down, placing plastic spoons beside them.

You walked up to him, grabbing napkins for the crew. As you did so, you attempted to make small talk. “So, Captain, are you gonna join us for dinner?” You glanced in his direction, setting the cloths down next to the bowls and spoons laid down.

Captain Curly nods before placing the last bowl and spoon down, turning to you. “Yeah, I will be. But not for long, I gotta get back to make sure we aren’t hitting any asteroids.” You hum in realization, forgetting all about that asteroid stuff.

Just last week you all almost crashed the Tulpar into an asteroid. Luckily Captain Curly managed to steer the ship away before you all got smashed. Hopefully that would never happen again. It’s very unlikely that it would, anyway.

“That’s understandable. At least you can be here with us for a little bit!” You tried to make light of the situation, wanting to forget your almost deathly experience.

The quad finished up their game, Daisuke pumping his fists into the air. Swansea and Jimmy had stern looks on their faces, upset by the loss. But Anya looked like she wanted to strangle Daisuke to death. You all sat down, Captain Curly grabbing the pot of soup for you all.

Sitting beside you sat Anya. Jimmy sat on one side of the table, the captain about to sit down at the other. Daisuke sat across from you, Swansea beside him. Your brows creasing as you turned your head towards Anya, who shot daggers in Daisuke’s direction. You place the palm of your hand on her shoulder in attempt to comfort her.

“Intense game?” You ask, glancing towards each of the three brunette males. Jimmy and Swansea nodded while Daisuke gave you a thumbs up, a dorky grin plastered across his lips. It was obvious he was happy he won.

“Time to eat!” Captain Curly announced, setting the pot of soup down in the middle of the table. Everyone took turns scooping the liquid into their bowls, being patient for once. Once everyone finished, you hesitated before dipping your spoon into your own bowl and bringing it to your mouth.

“Thank you, Captain Curly.” Mutters from everyone came after one another before continuing to sip the soup. It didn’t take long for everyone to start to finish their dish, seeing as it was only a liquid to be drank.

As everybody continued finishing up, the captain excused himself to go back and hide in his quarters for the night. He bid you all goodbye before walking out of the room, the automatic doors shutting behind him. Jimmy was the second to go. Then it was Swansea and Daisuke, who ended up finishing at the same time. Lastly, it was just you and Anya.

You decided it was a good time to ask about what you heard last night in her room. You haven’t brung it up to anyone else besides Daisuke, not knowing if she would even want you to mention it or not. So, you didn’t.

“Hey, Anya?” You tilt turn your head her way, a curious expression glazing over your face. She glances at your direction, waiting to see what you had to say. “I, uh.. I heard a man’s voice in your room last night. I think it was Jimmy’s. What’s up with you two?” As soon as that question left your lips, her eyes went wide and her face turned pale.

You immediately perk up, not knowing that it would be such a sensitive topic to her. “Oh! I’m sorry, forget I said anything. I didn’t mean to upset you..” You attempt to reassure her, knowing the damage was already done. “Don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll keep my mouth shut.” You knew you were lying. You literally told Daisuke last night. Of course she didn’t need to know that, though.

She swallowed hard, shaking her head as to tell you it’s alright. “N-No, you don’t need to be sorry. It’s just..” She hesitates, realizing she would just put more weight onto your shoulders if she told you what’s wrong.

“Never mind, you don’t need to worry about me. Him and I are just very close, that’s all.” Anya doesn’t give you a very convincing smile as she speaks, but you knew better than to push her.

You nod along, deciding to leave it up to her if she wants to tell you the truth or not. You knew deep down she was lying, but you don’t see a reason to force the real answer out of her. “You know I’ll always be here for you, right? Even though you’re our nurse and you know about all that depressive stuff, I still wanna make sure you’re okay.”

As you mumble, you leaned over and gave the woman a gentle hug, wrapping your arms around her shoulders. She stayed silent, feeling tears well up in her eyes. She quickly hugged you back, hiding her face in your neck. It doesn’t take a genius to realize she was crying. You stand up, whispering praises into her ears before shushing her.

“It’s okay, shh.. I’m here. You’re safe with me.” You rock her side to side, placing one hand on her head and gently playing with her dark hair. A few moments later she calmed down, her tears drying up on your suit. She continued to hug you, not wanting to let go.

“Jim’s just an asshole. I’m not sure what he’s done to you, but it clearly messed you up.” You state the obvious, curling your fingers in her hair. Anya sniffles, nodding her head in the crook of your neck as a response. “Do you wanna go to bed? I could walk you to your room if you want.” You release her from the hug, your hands gripping her clothed biceps as you stare into her eyes.

“Yeah. T-That would be nice.” She agrees, covering her face with her hands, wiping away the tears from her eyes. You nod, letting go of her arms and guiding one of her hands off her face to hold it. You help her stand, making sure she could stable herself before starting to walk towards the sleeping quarters.

Before you two left, you glanced up at the clock on the wall. 8:34. You let out a sigh, thankful that it hasn’t passed 9 yet. You grip Anya’s hand, your thumb gliding across her knuckles. Before you knew it, you both stood in front of her bedroom door. You turned back, letting her hand go. “I’ll get going now, ya? Sleep well, Anya.”

You grin, giving her one last tight hug before finally walking away. You heard the door open and close, letting you silently know she was safe in the comfort of her room. You didn’t know if Jimmy would go to her room ever again, but you’re praying that he wouldn’t.

You walk down the hall and head towards Daisuke’s room. As long as you don’t get caught by Jimmy, you doubt anyone else would care if you were in there. In all honesty, you missed his arms around you all day. Hopefully you both could end up in that same position tonight.

Or maybe he would be in your arms. Who knows?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

author’s note

MY POOR BABY ANYA😭😭 I had to add at least one moment of reader comforting her, I couldn’t resist. on a completely different note, I’m proud of myself for the ‘take responsibility’ line. even though it wasn’t creative, just let me be happy💔

next chapter will be out in a few days!! hope ya had fun reading! bye for now!! <33

[yumeka-sxf]

In addition to Yor's epiphany scene, this scene was the other one I was most looking forward to in season 2 - a scene that, in my opinion, is one of the most Twiyor-ish scenes in the series so far 💖

Why is it so significant? Because there was no reason for Twilight to put on any Loid Forger acting in that moment. He wasn't conversing with nor being scrutinized by anyone. So why would he give that soft smile followed by such affectionate, comforting words as "お疲れ様/otsukaresama"? (this can be translated in many ways, but generally it's something you say to thank someone for their hard work).

The answer is because it's something he truly felt...he understood the sacrifice Yor made for Anya's happiness and genuinely appreciated it (if only he knew the sacrifice she made on the larger scale, lol). While he's a bit perturbed at first since some onlookers were snickering at him, it didn't take long for him to soften and then graciously carry his queen and princess the girls back to the ship 😭

But Twilight overall was really soft in this episode and I loved it~ From his blush upon seeing Yor to the several times he gave that same soft smile when talking with/looking at her...I think Anya was right when she called him out on the ship about missing his wife 😅

I liked how the anime conveyed his shock when noticing her bruised face...what must have been his thought at that moment? 👀

The scenes of the family activities translated better in animated form in my opinion. While they were each only a single panel in the manga, they lasted a few seconds each in the anime, plus the addition of the insert song helped the with the comfy, wholesome vibe~ Also the part where Yor inadvertently chucks Anya across the ocean is still hilarious.

Loid's dorky skip at the beginning of the episode translated very well in animated form too 😅

The ending of this chapter in the manga always felt a bit rushed to me...it quickly jumps from the aforementioned scene of them returning to the ship, to suddenly being home, reuniting with Bond and Franky, having a meal together, then Twilight meeting Sylvia, all within a few panels. Even though I wish the anime added more than just some additional scenes of the ship leaving the island, I felt it flowed much better in the anime since, just like the family activities, each scene in the ending lasted a second or two instead of being a single illustration.

But I love how this chapter/episode ends, with Yor, Anya, and Bond napping while Anya draws about her family vacation. This seems to take place the next day or maybe later the same day they got home, so makes sense they'd still be tired from the trip!

By the way, the manga has this additional scene showing that Olka and company are safe. Weird that the anime didn't stick it in at some point.

Also, the anime team didn't have to go so hard with this episode's key visual but they did...and I love it 😍 Might actually be my favorite of the key visuals so far!

I was very happy to see the "surrounded by liars" panel finally animated! This is such a funny scene and a great way to fully wrap up the cruise arc.

I also burst out laughing at Yuri's locker 🤣

Damian is surprisingly laid back in this episode. I think the reason is because Anya's antics aren't directly involving him. He tends to go total tsundere only when she's actually talking to him, lol.

The new scene of Yor getting the keychains for her coworkers was a nice addition! Guess it's canon that Yor and Anya didn't sleep for the entire trip back, lol. Glad they got to spend family time on the ship too! (though I wish we could have seen Yor's reaction waking up in Loid's bottom bunk bed, haha. He must have brought her to his room since he wouldn't know where her room is. Unless she woke up before he even put her in a bed, in which case she would have been super embarrassed knowing he was carrying her around in public 😆)

Looks like next week the anime will be changing the order of things a bit and giving us the Becky home-wrecking and Fiona chapters (the latter of which seems to have some anime original content?) The Becky chapter is one of my favorite stand-alone chapters...I'm already dying of laugher thinking about it 😂