#any sane person will just search by the characters/actors | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

koos-euphoria · 4 years

Text

ᴍɪɴᴇ | ʏᴏᴏɴɢɪ ғᴛ sᴇᴏᴋᴊɪɴ

yoongi/reader ft seokjin | s | 18+ | actor!au | oneshot

wordcount: 5.4K

requested: yes

warnings: Dom!Yoongi, Sub!fem reader, hair pulling, teasing, fingering, dirty talk, pussy eating, throat fucking, possessive!Yoongi, degradation, praising, finger sucking, spanking, choking

— summary: you have to kiss seokjin in a drama, that you star in for the next episode of their reality tv show run bts! yoongi becomes possessive of his girl. So he reacts by showing that you are his, that is by making Seokjin watch him fuck you.

note: yeah.. this is just filled with filth sksksk

ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴍ.ʟɪsᴛ | ʙᴛs ᴍ.ʟɪsᴛ

The camera lens zooms into yours and Seokjin’s face, preparing to shoot. Your eyes running over the script in a hurry to memorise your next lines for the scene that’s about to happen. You feel a makeup sponge bounce on your cheeks delicately as the makeup artist touches up the subtle blush that she’s created. “Okay guys, we be starting the last scene for this run episode in a minute!” The director calls from behind the set. The rest of the boys crowding silently around him wanting to witness the ‘best scene in the whole script’ that is quoted from the director himself. You and Seokjin both give your scripts to one of the staff team as you get in your places, giving one another a small smile before getting into your characters. “Okay guys, in three.. two... one.. ACTION!” The director shouts and you hear a click for somewhere behind the camera.

Rain begins to pour down on both of you as you stare at the man in front of you. “You can’t just leave me y/n, not like this. I need you.” Seokjin stammers, his voice unstable, as he tries to hold back the need to cry. “If you needed me, then I wouldn’t of just seen you with her!” You shout back, your fists clenching by your side as the image that you saw not even five minutes before. The imagine of Seokjin smiling with his ex, as she holds flowers in her hands enters your mind. Your eyes fall shut, as if attempting to erase the picture, the sight of it bringing you so much pain. Oh how it hurts your heart. “It wasn’t what you think! Please... y/n just, let me explain.” Seokjin begs, no longer being able to hold back his sadness, tears freely flowing down his pretty face. As you take deep breath, your own tears begin to fall, one after another. Slowly opening your eyes, you look up at him and take another deep breath. God, you hate seeing him cry. “You have two minutes.” You tell him gently, though it wasn’t a whisper, it is all you could manage, however, your voice to unstable for anything more. Seokjin’s eyes widen slightly, before he scrambles for his words, stuttering. “I b-bumped into her, she already had t-those flowers, she just got back from seeing her boyfriend. Those were not from me, I’d...” Seokjin pauses to take a deep breath, clenching his fists in an attempt to steady his trembling hands. “I don’t love her y/n, she’s just.. she’s not the one I want. Or who I want to be with. That person, she is just someone I used to know.” Seokjin explains, eyes frantically looking everywhere he can see. Scanning across your face, searching for any negative reaction from you. You space out as you take in his words, eyebrows coming into a frown, lips pouting as you become confused. “You.. you don’t love her?” You question, quietly, as you take a small step forward, closer to Seokjin, your hands still clenched by your sides, cautious. Automatically Seokjin erratically shakes his head from side to side, taking his own step closer to you, so close his breath fans over your face, creating some sort of heat that dances along your cheeks. His hand comes up to gently caress your cheek, thumb running along the soft skin. “No. I don’t. She’s not the one I love.” He confirms, your eyes flicker between his eyes and lips. The rain continues to pour down on the pair of you, even as the tears cease, a chill running down your spine as your clothes begin to soak through. Seokjin’s hair sticks to his forehead, as his eyes copy yours, flickering across your face. “Then who?” You whisper, raising a hand to lay on his chest, your breath is felt on Seokjin’s lips and you could almost hear the hitch in his breath. “You. It’s always been you.” He whispers back. Right before he finally closes the gap between you, his free arm slithering around your waist to pull your body against his own. His pillowy soft lips pressing against yours. The kiss full of raw passion. The emotion of pure love. It steals your breath away. The kiss only lasted for about 6 seconds, but it almost felt like a whole minute. Seokjin pulls away first, out of breath, you both pant as he presses his wet forehead on your own, looking into your eyes, neither of you are able to hold back the goofy smiles that spread across your faces. “I love you too.” You whisper to Seokjin.

“and CUT! Well done guys that was great!” The director praises you both enthusiastically, arms wide before he gives you a pat on the back once he’s in front of you. “Thanks!” Seokjin and you both beam. The boys were quick to steal the pair of you away as the director runs to talk to one of the other staff members. “Damn, I was about to cry myself!” Hoseok exclaims as he wipes away a fake tear from his cheek. “Right? It was so beautiful!” Jungkook’s quick to agree with his Hyung, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. “I wanna kiss y/n! You’re lucky Hyung!” Jimin winks at you, a smirk playing on his full lips, making your cheeks flush pink. “Oh me too!” Taehyung chimes in, nodding his head, his dark hair flopping in front of his eyes. “You did great guys.” Namjoon smiles, dimples popping out on his cheeks, his hands stuffed in his pockets. He smiles again as he ignores the other boys comments. You look over at Yoongi, waiting to hear what he thinks, but you find him practically sending Jin to an early grave. The elder coughs awkwardly, windshield like laugh floods the room. “C’mon guys, let get you changed before you catch a cold.” A female staff cheers, you see Jin physically relax as she begins pushing you both away from the boys and towards the changing rooms. Side by side, you and Seokjin joke on the way there, before splitting apart to go into different rooms so you can get changed.

As you take a step out the door, humming happily to yourself freshly changed into dry clothes, you bump into something sturdy, catching you off guard. “Oh!” You shout in fright, not expecting anyone to be there. Your head tilts up to find Yoongi staring harshly back down at you, arms crossed over his chest. Your eyebrows scrunch up worriedly. “Is everything okay Yoongs?” You ask, your hand moving to gently brush the stray strand of hair that is covering his beautiful dark eyes. You see his features soften slightly, a small pout appearing. Cute. “Mmm.” He hums absentmindedly, rolling his eyes, before he grips onto your wrist in time for it to be slowly pulling away. “Come.” He demands, his voice deep and raspy, the harsh look back on his face before he is turning away from you and walking down the long corridor, leaving no room for you to argue.

You practically jog to keep up with a pissed off Yoongi, or what you’re guessing is a pissed off Yoongi, if the clenched jaw and dark eyes are anything to go by. The grip that he has on your wrist isn’t tight but it is enough to have your heart racing inside your chest, and trip over your own two feet. Yoongi pulls you away from the changing room you were just in and past many doors that you don’t have the chance of even looking at, room by room going past you both like a blur. Yoongi comes to a sudden halt, making you awkwardly face plant into his back. “Where are we going Yoongi?” You ask, your voice soft and delicate to his ears, your hand that isn’t occupied in his grasp moves to gently lay on the middle of his back, fingers tips spread apart, pushing lightly to create a bit of distance between you, as you step backwards. His head is turns towards you without a second thought, his chest tightening at how cute you look. Eyes wide like a little dear caught in headlights with a faint blush dusting along the apples of your cheeks, but still. It doesn’t change anything. He’s still pissed. As the quick flicker of the soft emotions appeared, they are gone just as fast. His dark eyes look down at you, almost scarily, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. The irises expanding, now almost pitch black of colour are practically sending you six feet underground, right then and there. You curse to yourself inside your head as your heartbeat quickens, from nervousness and excitement, but also worry. What’s gotten him so mad?

Moving his whole body, he faces you completely now, his free hand that isn’t wrapped around your wrist, moves to grip your chin, fingers curling around the feature forcing you to look directly at him. “Did you enjoy that kiss?” Yoongi asks, voice low, raspy. It sends a chill down your spine as he completely ignores your question. Your eyes widen as your lips part at the sudden question. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it, who wouldn’t enjoy kissing the worldwide handsome Jin? Obviously someone who isn’t sane. Waiting impatiently, Yoongi’s tongue comes into your view as the wet muscle licks the corner of his mouth, making your thighs clench involuntary. Noticing the subtle motion, the corner of Yoongi’s mouth twitches slightly as if holding back a smirk. He runs his tongue along the rest of his plush bottom lip, his eyes raking over your body top to bottom, checking you out. His bottom lip now glistening with saliva before a deep growl rumbles from the man in front of you. His left eyebrow raises once you move your eyes back into his. “Y-yes, I did.” You stutter, your fingers twitching as you fidget nervously, already knowing he’s not gonna like your answer. Your cheeks flush red as you watch Yoongi’s eyes turn even darker, narrowing at you. Whizzing back around after dropping his grip on your chin, Yoongi grasps the door handle with his now free hand, almost aggressively, proceeding to push the wooden door open after a loud click echos through the empty hallway. Moving himself into the room, his fingers instantly find the light switch, flicking it so the room is suddenly bright, almost blindingly so. A swift tug to your wrist, is all that Yoongi gives you to have you stumbling into his chest, grasping the soft material of his shirt between your fingers, as he pushes the door shut behind you.

Before you even have the time to remove your hands from him and flatten the new crinkles that you’ve made in Yoongi’s shirt, he looks down at you, one hand coming under your chin again, gripping it as he silently pulls you up straight. You suddenly gasp as you feel your back roughly hitting the door behind you. His other hand suddenly leaves your wrist and finds its way in your hair gripping at the roots. The feeling has your pussy clenching, a whimper falling from your parted lips. Yoongi ducks his head down causing your breath to catch in your throat. It was almost overwhelming how little he’s doing with how much it’s affecting you. The feeling of Yoongi’s lips trailing along your exposed collarbone renders you speechless, as his warm breath ghosts along the skin forcing goosebumps to rise, it makes him smirk. Oh how he loves just how easy it is to get reactions from you. So sensitive. Humming, he trails his feather-light touches of his lips along your neck, stopping once he reaches the part just below your ear as that has your fingers tightening in his shirt, crumpling it further. His teeth nip at the flesh and you keen, moaning, your knees buckle weakly. Yoongi chuckles darkly as he licks and kisses the sensitive spot before he decides to mark it, sucking on the skin. When he pulls away you see him slightly nod in approval, when he sees the fresh purple colour it’s turned to. Ducking back down he nips again, this time at your lobe, and your eyes instinctively shut, lashes tickling the tops of your cheeks as they flutter. You can feel the material of your underwear sticking your folds, as you get more worked up at Yoongi’s hot mouth. Yoongi gives a small tug on your roots, making you mewl. “Look at you. So responsive and I’ve barely even done anything.” Another tug to your roots, this time harsher as he forces your head back, making it slightly thud against the door, but you couldn’t care less as the pain only adds fuel to the throbbing between your legs. Your hole clenching, feeling far too empty. You whimper, attempting you grind on something, your eyes glazing over as you look up at Yoongi, to find him darkly staring back at you, a Sultry smirk on his lips, like he can read just how desperate you’re becoming by the second, how needy you are to have him. “I bet you’re soaking, hm?” Yoongi asks rhetorically.

Yoongi doesn’t need an answer, as the hand that was wrapped under your chin moves south, the tips of his fingers brushing past the tops your breasts on the way down, continuing until he reached the inside of your bare thigh. Two fingers then start trailing upwards, slowly, his feather light touch, torturing you. “Yoongi p-please.” You beg, and oh how sweet you sound. It makes Yoongi cock twitch inside his tight jeans. His lip is captured between his teeth, as he continues the slow pace. “Please what, what do you want Kitten?” He asks huskily. Kitten, fuck. That name effects you more than you ever thought it would, especially when it’s mixed with his deep voice. It makes your cunt drip. His fingers finally reach the hem of your skirt, playing with the material as his smirk deepens. Your eyebrows furrow, very frustrated. “Need y-your fingers, p-please, f-fuck need it so bad.” You beg again, stuttering over your words, unable to hold back the slight whine as his finger slips under the hem of your skirt, to continue the trail, his pace still slow. “My fingers? Where exactly do you need my fingers huh?” Yoongi teases, and god does it drive you crazy. Your knees begins to wobble in want, the grip on his shirt becoming even tighter as you cry out in frustration. “My p-pussy!” Yoongi chuckles at this as his lips attach onto your own, the taste of him flooding your senses. It makes you all the more needier for him as you feel his tongue lick at your lip, wanting entrance, which you give him, his tongue instantly moving to wrestle with your own. He swallows the moan that leaves you mouth as you finally feel his long fingers on your underwear. He groans, pulling away with your lip between his teeth, letting go after a second. “Fuck your so wet, Kitten.” His own eyebrows furrow, licking his lips, the taste of your mouth still there. “P-please.” You whisper, sliding your hands that sits in Yoongi’s shirt up and into his dark hair, pulling him back down to your mouth.

Yoongi wastes no time now, as he moves the lace material of your underwear to the side, his two fingers automatically running through your slick folds. Circling your hole, he collects your juices before running them up to your clit, circling the bud. Pleasure flows through your veins as you part from his mouth, gasping. “Fuck!” You moan, and the grip on your hair disappears as Yoongi’s falling to his knees in a blink of an eye. His eyes hungry, taking in your needy cunt. Using his free hand he moves your skirt so it’s bunched around your stomach, finding it in the way as he groans out. “Look at you. Who made you this wet hm?” He asks, as he leans forward his breath hitting the soft skin just above your sensitive clit. “You, Yoongi.” You answer him breathlessly, and that’s all he needed to hear for his digits to slide down to your hole, and his mouth to attach onto your clit. A loud whine leaves your mouth when his tongue first flicks on the little nub, your head banging against the door again, this time harder. His fingers slowly push their way past you tight hole, your mouth falling open in a silent moan as you feel the burning pleasure of being stretched open. Your fingers tangle through the soft strands of Yoongi’s hair, tugging lightly, forcing a deep groan to be released from him below. His two fingers curl deliciously on the spongey spot buried deep inside your cunt, over and over. It has your toes curling and eyes rolling back. Your mouth releasing noice you’ve never even made before. “Mmm that’s it, Kitten, are you gonna cum? Your clenching around my fingers so tight.” Yoongi pulls slightly away from your pussy panting, trying to catch his breath, a dark glimmer of mischief shines in his eyes. You don’t manage to pick up on it though, your heads to clouded with lust and the desperate need to cum. “P-please Yoongi, I’m so close.” You whine, tugging on his hair, pulling him back to your aching cunt. You’re so close, just a second longer and you’ll be there, floating in ecstasy. Your legs begin to shake and your pussy tightens around his fingers like a vice, making Yoongi groan in want and just as you’re about to step into that sweet release, Yoongi pulls his whole body away from you, your cunt empty and your painfully close orgasm fades into nothing.

“W-what? No, I was so close!” You practically sob, tears filling your eyes. Yoongi stands up and moves so close to you, toes touching but nothing else. Capturing your eyes, he lifts his hands up, the two fingers that were inside your cunt, taps your bottom lip before sliding along the red flesh. “Open.” Yoongi demands. You listen instantly stuck in some sort of lust filled trace. Yoongi hums to himself, loving how obedient you are as he pushes his digits between your lips. The taste of yourself fills your senses and you couldn’t hold back the small whimper building up inside you. “Suck. Thaaats a good girl.” He praises you as you hallow your cheeks, bobbing your head on his fingers, imagining to yourself that it’s something else entirely. Yoongi swallows as the same image flash his mind. The thought of your lips wrapped around his fat cock has it twitching. Just as he opens his mouth to tell you to get on your knees. There’s a knock at the door. “Yoongi-ah, are you in there? Have you seen Y/n? She’s missing.” Seokjin shouts. Looking at Yoongi, he seems to be caught in his thoughts so just as you’re about to answer for him his hand that you were sucking on pulls out from between your lips and covers your mouth, keeping you quiet. His dark eyes are on you again, almost daring you to speak. With his other hand gripping your arm, he moves you both away from the door, and once he’s in a place he likes his hand slides up your arm, tickling the skin until he reaches your shoulder. He presses you down and you fall loudly onto your knees, hissing at the small pain. “Yoongi-ah?” Jin shouts again, knocking. Yoongi looks down at you, smirking as he begins to unbuckle his belt and unzip the zipper of his jeans. Only pulling his boxers down enough to reveal his very hard cock.

You almost choke at the sight of him, not only is he long, but he’s thick, so thick. It makes you wonder how the fuck are you gonna even fit that inside you. Yoongi still smirking grasps his cock in one hand, running his hand up and down along his shaft. A drop of dripping from the tip and you lick your lip hungrily. This earns a chuckle from Yoongi. “Wanna suck my cock, Kitten?” He asks, his head tilting slightly to the side, and you nod so fast, needy. “Open up then.” He says as he taps the tip on your mouth as if to enticed you further. Obeying, you open up and Yoongi doesn’t hesitate to slide his cock inside right to the hilt, in one swift thrust, the salty taste of his precum coating your tongue in the process. You feel a hand in you hair holding you still as your nose brushes the skin above. Yoongi moans deeply as his head falls back, his eyes screwed shut. Another knock at the door brings his attention back to you, the same mischievous glint in his eyes. This time you see it, your eyes widening in wonder of what he’s about to do. The free hand that isn’t tangled in your hair moves to your cheek caressing it gently, thumb running along your cheek bone almost lovingly. It makes your heart sore. “Come in.” Yoongi’s raspy voice echos and it makes you jump as it practically slices through the almost silent room, other than the sound of your gags from his cock sitting snuggly inside your throat.

You can almost feel the stare that Seokjin is giving on the side of your face, and as you go to look as him, Yoongi growls out, his loving grip turning harsh on your jaw, forcing you to stay looking at him. “Eyes on me. It’s my cock down your throat. Not his.” Yoongi spits. His head looks back at his elder, smirking. “Ah, Hyung, how nice of you to join us. Why don’t you take a seat, hm?” His head tilts, dark hair moving with the action. When you think Seokjin was gonna turn around and leave, he actually walks closer taking the seat at the side of you both, one leg crossing over the other wordlessly. Yoongi’s head turns back to you, his cock twitching, almost like he forgot for a second that is was between your spit covered lips. “Now, where were we Kitten, hm?” He chuckles, pulling his hips out slightly before pushing back in, repeating the motion over and over, a steady rhythm of his hips, as he fucks your throat. “Such a good girl for me, letting me use your throat. My perfect little fuck doll.” Yoongi praises, his grip tightening in your hair in time with his last sentence. “So pretty with your lips around my fat cock, Kitten.” Your cunt clenches around nothing as you whine, though it sounds nothing like a whine from the way Yoongi started thrusting fast making you gag and choke around him. “Your throat’s so tight, almost want to cum down it.” He reveals, and you moan in approval, the thought of drinking Yoongi’s cum sounds more than appetising. “Oh you want that huh? Want to drink my cum, like a little cumslut huh?” Yoongi asks, and you try to nod your head as best as you could with your mouth stuffed. It makes Yoongi chuckle, mockingly. “Hm as much as I would like that, I’m making Seokjin hyung watch me take what’s mine. So, I’m cuming no where but inside that tight little cunt of yours.” He tells you. Oh what a filthy mouth he has, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t love it. If your dripping cunt is anything to go by and the way it’s starting to run down the tops of your thighs. You almost forgot that Seokjin was even there, as you see him fidget from the corner of your eyes. But before you could even give him the slightest attention Yoongi pulls his cock from your mouth, gripping your arm, as he pulls you up from your knees to stand. Turning you around so your back is towards him he runs one hand up your spine, stopping once he reaches between your shoulder blades. Applying slight pressure he pushes you down so your top half is leaning on a table. A table that you didn’t even realise was there, as your body jerks from the cold wood.

Yoongi kicks your feet apart as he grasps the material of your underwear, pulling it to the side again. You groan when you feel his cock touch your folds lightly, making him chuckle. “Hm so excited for cock aren’t you, Kitten?” He asks teasingly, and you nod your head, but your lack of words makes Yoongi tut, bringing his hand back before swatting your ass cheek, quick and hard. Your whole body jumps forward, hipbone digging into the edge of the table, you gasp at the sting, the pain only adding to the arousal between your legs. “Words, Kitten. Use them.” He demands, and you obey, fast, so needy, that you whine lightly, you don’t even care as Seokjin chuckles from beside you. “Yes, fuck yes, want your cock.” Yoongi hums to himself, wrapping his hand around his girth he teases the head along your folds, tapping your clit twice with the tip before aligning his cock to your awaiting hole. “Yeah? Want my cock?” He asks again. “Hm, I can feel you clenching around nothing, greedy girl.” He says, while spanking your ass twice. “Beg for my cock. Show Jin how pretty you sound when you beg for me.” Yoongi tells you.

You don’t even wait as words spill from your mouth, not even holding back forgetting about Jin’s obvious presence at the side of you. “Please Yoongi, please, want it bad, want you. Please.” Tears spring to the corners of your eyes, so desperate to feel him buried inside your cunt. You can tell that Yoongi is loving every second and every whimper or whine that leaves your mouth. All for him. A gasp leaves your lips as Yoongi pushes the tip of his cock in your cunt, the blissful burning stretch of the tip makes you choke on your saliva. “Fuck so tight.” Yoongi curses through clenched teeth, pushing in his cock further, a hand grips your hip hard enough to bruise as the other wraps around your throat. Not choking you but just the feeling of it being there is enough to have adrenaline running through your veins excitedly. As his hips are flush against your plump ass cheeks, you both groan loudly In unison. The feeling of your cunt walls hugging Yoongi’s fat cock so nicely, forces him to take his bottom lip between his teeth. Your legs are already shaking at how good he feels inside you, so full, and you get impatient, wriggling your hips in effort to make him move and fuck you dumb. “Ah ah. Naughty girl.” Yoongi says disapprovingly, his hand tightening around your throat slightly.

He begins to pull his cock slowly out of you until nothing but the tip is inside you once again. “Tell Seokjin you're mine.” Yoongi growls, his teeth clenched, and you keen, arching your back, “I’m yours, Yoongi.” You moan breathily, and that’s when Yoongi pushes his cock back in. Hard. Knocking all the air out of your lungs. “Yeah. All mine.” Yoongi states, cockily, his eyes flicking to his Hyung for a split second. Picking up a fast pace, controlling it so his cock reaches deep inside you, his tip kissing that spot that has your toes curling and you eyes rolling back. His hand releases his grip on your neck, sliding up until he reaches your jaw. Leaning his body over you, his chest against your back. He forces your head to face Seokjin, taking in the sight of him. Man spreading, cheeks flushes and his hands rub at his cloth covers cock. A delicious sight. You feel Yoongi’s breath hit the side of your face, as he growls out. “Mine.” Taking your lobe between his teeth, you whimper. “Tell him.” Yoongi grits, fucking into your cunt harder, as his other hand works his way around over your tummy and between your thighs, teasing your clit. “Go on.” He demands, letting go of your jaw he stands back up, both hands gripping your waist fucking into you. You gasp for breath desperately trying to grasp onto something, anything, until they land on the edge of the table. “I’m yours, fuck.” You whine, your mouth dropping open as your brows pinch together. Your high, so close once again.

Your eyes widen however as Yoongi pulls out, turning you over and lifts your ass up onto the table. Whining at being edged once again, Yoongi grips your thighs, spreading them before he lets go of one to help push his cock back inside your tight, leaking hole. “Oh-” You moan out, falling back onto your elbows as Yoongi picks up where he stopped, his hand going back to your thigh not wasting any time as he begins his same pace. “Hm, so pretty when my cocks splitting your little cunt open, Kitten.” Yoongi praises. “Isn’t she Hyung?” You hear a small, breathy ‘yes’ leave Seokjin’s bitten lips. You keen at the praise, as your head falls back. “C-close!” You shout, as you force your head back up to look into Yoongi’s eyes, your own being wide. “Hm, I can tell, squeezing my fat cock so good.” Yoongi moans, giving you one harsh thrust as if to emphasise his words. “Mmm love your fat cock.” You babble mindlessly, earning a chuckle from Yoongi, though his own eyebrows pinch together and his tongue licks the corner of his mouth. Sweat dripping down his temples as his hair sticks to him. You looking like a similar picture. The feeling of his cock twitching inside is enough to show he too is close. “I know, wanna feel you cum on my fat cock right now though, baby.” He says, as he slides his hand further up your thigh until he’s rubbing at your clit in circles. “Be a good girl and cum for me.” He purrs, leaning over your frame, his body encasing your own. Your body stiffens as you feel euphoria run through you. Your vision turning white as you cum, hard. “F-fuck! Baby, where do you want my cum?” Yoongi gasps, your cunt like a vice around his girth. “Inside, god, want it inside please.” You cry out. “Shit!” Yoongi curses, his mouth fits over yours as he kisses you, all tongue and teeth. As spurts of his cum hit your walls coating them.

The after glow of your orgasms wash over you as you continue to kiss, Yoongi’s arms wrapping around your frame holding you against him as you wrap your arms around his neck. Pulling away from you with a final peck, Yoongi flashes a gummy smile, running a hand along your spine comfortingly. “Are you done?” Seokjin’s strained voice is heard properly for the first time since he has entered the room and you immediately flush burying your face into Yoongi neck embarrassed. “I think you’ve made your point Yoongi.” Jin teases further, an eyebrow raises as he uses the arms of the chair to push himself up. “So, uh, yeah, I’ll be leaving, thanks for the uh, free porn show guys.” Is Seokjin’s final words before he walks vacates the room, the tips of his ears bright red. Unbothered, Yoongi just chuckles turning back to you, placing a kiss in your hair, as he breathes in your scent. “Did you mean it?” He whispers, and you pull your face away from the warmth of his neck arms falling to the table to hold your weight up, confused. “Mean what?” You ask, tilting your head, your hair falling in front of your face, just for Yoongi you brush it behind your ear softly, smiling like a lovesick puppy. “That you’re mine.” His voice surprisingly steady despite how nervous he really is. “Yeah, I’m yours Yoongs, always have been.” You whisper leaning into Yoongi’s soft touch, inwardly cooing as Yoongi’s gummy smile appears of his face once again. “Good, and uh incase you didn’t know, I’m yours y/n.” He confesses, but you giggle at him, leaning up to place your lips on his quickly, in a small kiss. “I know.” You say softly, leaning further back you properly look at yoongi’s flushed face, post sex hair, thin layer of sweat covering his skin, kiss swollen lips. A sight that has your cunt clenching, around the cock that’s still buried inside you. Grunting, Yoongi’s gummy smile quickly turns into a small smirk. “Round 2?”

Taglist 🏷 : @ramblingsofawolfgirl @maknaeronix @blue-yoongles @marinasrizzel @kgalaxy224 @jjkdayss @snowyydayys @minvaleria93 @whocaresarchives @nervouskiwi @titty-ambulance {let me know if you want added or removed}

#bts smut #bts imagine #bts oneshot #poly bts smut #poly bts imagine #poly bts oneshot #min yoongi smut #min yoongi imagine #Min Yoongi oneshot #Kim Seokjin smut #Kim Seokjin imagine #Kim Seokjin oneshot #Yoongi smut #Yoongi imagine #Yoongi oneshot #Seokjin imagine #Seokjin smut #Seokjin oneshot #Yoongi x you

500 notes · View notes

miniwolfsbane · 3 years

Text

Sweet Tooth S1 thoughts (BIG SPOILERS)

First off, I am disappointed we were shown a PURRING PUPPY BABY in the trailer and had 0 follow up with it? Did he/she escape to Istanbul with it’s parents? Get captured? Live a nomadic life? Live in the forest? I WANT ANSWERS!! :( Also, puppies don’t purr, so I want answers to that too. Unless they were trying to go for a whimper or an animal noise and just went with that instead.

BIG SPOILERS under the cut

Anyway, the only two things, aside from the bits of gore and violence (Reviews are all like “IT’S A FAMILY SHOW!” And I counter back with “I would not let any child under 13 watch this and I have never seen a family show with three seconds of guts being removed and two scenes of implied, live vivisecting on sentient beings without anesthetic.”), the only things I didn’t like about this were using 2 overused cliche’s. One being the hero hanging off a bridge for what seems like 12 years above peril, and the other I can’t remember. It was Jeppard nearly missing the train. The only thing that saved it was the flashback.

The other thing was that, while dark, there’s a bit of predictably and not much depth to the story. I realized last night that the comic source material my have the depth I’m craving out of the story. Just because it has child actors doesn’t mean the story can’t be dug into deeper and have more meaning. I applaud them for what they did and how they handled it, mixing in human-ish vivisecting with neighbors burning down their friends houses and being murderous hypocrites into a story about children, but it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted more. Edit: Not more violence, obviously, just more to the story. dig into the universe, hard. Like gardening, just shove both metaphorical hands into that story soil and root around in it. Find all the gems that are the interesting parts of this universe and answer our questions.

Sadly, I see someone on tumblr called it...something. Like, were we even watching the same show?? A multi-racial cast that gives all it’s characters dignity isn’t...that.

Bobby isn’t creepy to most and not shown that much. If you really think Bobby is that creepy, you need to go see original Bobby and get back to me. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=mv4YBZHa&id=071BD6BDAA183CA5965247E7F8F68E873375399B&thid=OIP.mv4YBZHau8dTzxGoK0L0ggHaHD&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fvignette.wikia.nocookie.net%2Fmarvel_dc%2Fimages%2Ff%2Ffc%2FBobby_Sweet_Tooth_001.jpg%2Frevision%2Flatest%3Fcb%3D20150813115735&cdnurl=https%3A%2F%2Fth.bing.com%2Fth%2Fid%2FR9afe180591dabbc753cf11a82b42f482%3Frik%3Dmzl1M4eO9vjnRw&pid=ImgRaw&exph=616&expw=647&q=sweet+tooth+comics+bobby&simid=608026455638091252&ck=7A4DBACCF6BFE43E3B1E799F7F88C55A&selectedindex=0&adlt=demote&shtp=GetUrl&shid=3fb5000d-4d63-494a-986d-006fedeb28d5&shtk=Qm9iYnkgKFN3ZWV0IFRvb3RoKSB8IERDIERhdGFiYXNlIHwgRmFuZG9t&shdk=Rm91bmQgb24gQmluZyBmcm9tIGRjLmZhbmRvbS5jb20%3D&shhk=NjRWN4Jv1KDrxu8T30I3UN0IQ71oVtCAEnsLIeSmFl4%3D&form=EX0023&shth=OSH.nyb0RMh%252Bnm%252B%252B%252FIH1cnkhHw

Okay, kid does sorta look like a gremlin mixed with a Furby in the show, like one post said, but I’ve seen worse. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=F9mlBjUo&id=49C0257935E4A941563E579C7E9DCF48B72BEC01&thid=OIF.eyTVbAuEqt0R%2bKFmrIK4gA&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fepipoca.com.br%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2021%2f06%2fE3NUK2kVoAE5Ct_.jpg&cdnurl=https%3a%2f%2fth.bing.com%2fth%2fid%2fR17d9a5063528805f1ade0ea77464df86%3frik%3d%26pid%3dImgRaw&exph=675&expw=1482&q=sweet+tooth++Bobby&simid=297111136187&ck=7B24D56C0B84AADD11F8A166AC82B880&selectedIndex=49&FORM=IRPRST&ajaxhist=0&ajaxserp=0

Sometimes stuff goes over my head. I had no idea that the babies were being born and not made in a lab. When they showed them in the maternity ward, I genuinely thought they had been experimented on and didn’t come out of the womb like that. Apparently I missed that it was a maternity ward in a hospital. That’s my other problem with this show I forgot to mention: It defies logic and you really have to turn off your brain to accept the hybrid concept. I’m guessing the virus or other means (possibly according to the comics, I tried to avoid big spoilers), mutated them in utero. That still doesn’t satisfy me. Thankfully, Gus was somehow lab created, so that helps. (More information and context would be appreciated. Was it, like, they were experimenting with in-vitro or what?) Edit: This article https://screenrant.com/sweet-tooth-theory-purple-flowers-cure-sick-virus/ explains that putting the virus in a chicken egg produced Gus. Which makes even less sense. Edit: This MAY or MAY NOT be right. Someone on YT pointed out they never said this in the show.

IRL, Virus + chicken embryo=would never randomly produce a human/deer hybrid baby. It’s so freaking random it sounds like nonsense or the delusions of a madman, not a rational comic book author with a presumably sane mind. Just...I’ve said it before...things have to make sense, even in fiction. 5 step process of anything cannot equal random result. It goes against all science, right? And made up worlds have to have rules, even silly worlds. Like I said, you have to turn your brain off, but this stretches even my disbelief. Hybrids, I get, fine, but that? I’m sorry, what? *headdesk* I don’t know, maybe the comics had something I’m missing since I never read them.

I’m eager to learn the connection to the kids and the virus as we go. And if we don’t get a season 2, I’ll be getting the comics to satisfy my thirst for this show.

Gus is my baby and I don’t understand how a kid could be that cute. Jeppard is the GOAT (lol) Bear could use better line delivery at times, but her acting will improve I’m sure. Nice to see Diana Ramierez acting again, her character is likeable. Wendy is cute, but kinda just there for me. Needs more traits or character development to get on my favorite characters list. Bear also needs more than just backstory and a tough girl persona. She’s not bland, she just needs more spark to her as a character. More personality, if that makes sense.

Lastly, I wanted a tiny bit more from the make-up department. Wendy and rabbit kids (yes, I took note of this detail and I love bunnies) make-up is on point, but the rest look like kids dressed up in dollar store feathers and fur for a school play. Get more creative if you’re gonna show these hybrids, even if it’s just for a few seconds. You have the budget!! (But I think most of that went to Bobby’s puppetry/CGI and Jeppard’s baby, to be honest.)

I wanted a cat girl or boy, because the lulz for the anime community (Also, because I have 2 cats and stuff), but at least we got bird kids, even if they weren’t cockatiels like mine. I’m ready for Season 2, hurry Netflix!!

I can see why people wouldn’t like this show or wouldn’t recommend watching it, but I see many have embraced it. It’s either you’re thing or it’s not, but you should give it a chance and see. Just don’t shoot it down if you hate it, there’s enough wet blankets out there and we all have different tastes.

Edit: One last thing. I do have a problem with hybrids being half-human. Like, you would think that being half-human, they’d still have all the problems humans have with causing wars and all. I know it’s a dark story with a good outcome, but there’s something too saccharine about hybrids having “The best parts of us.” What exactly are those best parts? Last I checked, humans are selfish and vain at their core. Even the most altruistic, giving person can be greedy about something or want more. It’s like Genie said in the new Aladdin, “You can have all the money and power in the world and it still won’t be enough”. Wouldn’t bird people and pig people and deer people all want to side with each other instead of living in some grand utopia? Fighting over land and resources? Portraying hybrids as taking over the earth after people are gone from extinction and everything going peachy doesn’t quite work for me. Not that I’d want it to still be dark, but, eh, they’d have to have SOME problems, wouldn’t they?

#Sweet Tooth Netflix #Gus #Jeppard #hybrids #Sweet Tooth spoilers

38 notes · View notes

cooltrainererika · 4 years

Text

A Star Wars Noob’s ideas for fixing the Disney sequels

Okay so just to get this out there, because it won’t leave my mind.

So I’ve been binging on SW lately and the sequels only annoy me more and more by the day. So just wanted to throw my character ideas out into the world. Focusing on characters because I like writing characters way more than plot. Hopefully if I ever actually write this thing, or even somehow pitch it to someone with the right connections to animate it with the actors as voice actors, this wouldn’t have gone viral. But since no one looks at my blog it probably won’t lol. Hopefully.

But just in case, I’ll say that this will probably contain spoilers for a story which may or may not exist by the time you read this.

I’ve deliberately been trying to avoid as much emotional spoilers and normal spoilers as I can before the sequels despite the temptation, so sorry if some stuff is a bit off. Augh I hope I can get the time to watch the full OT and PT soon. I was too tired from hiking when I watched SW4 and I now really wish my dad didn’t show me when I was half-asleep.

Rey: Rainbow of possibilities; Cynical Scavenger, Adventure-seeking Audience Surtogate Geek, or Lawful Good to the core Paladin Padawan with a personal grudge, and may be descended from a family line, maybe not, but currently most likely a Skywalker by blood. Story and other character arcs change dramatically depending on which route chosen.

Finn: Stoic soldier man learns power of friendship, finds meaning of life, causes Stormtrooper mutiny, probably becomes a Jedi and second main character and hooks up with Rey. “What‘s a joke?”. Awkward dork and stunted socially but doing his best. May instinctively find it hard to disobey orders. He may be the one wanting to find his family; but that’s dropped soon enough to focus on what’s ahead.

(Alternatively: Proud warrior guy who acts like a stereotypical North Korean soldier who finds himself outside the First Order, learns power of friendship etc. The rest is the same)

Poe Dameron: What we Japanese people call The Aniki. The funny charismatic ace pilot who keeps everyone sane, overall bro. Wholesome but a bit rough, that guy you would want to share a beer with. But within that easygoing nature burns a hotblooded, determined, dutiful streak, and an even stronger snarky streak. The one with the social skills. Loves his droid like his son though Cynical!Rey and Finn find that initially kind of stupid/strange.

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo: Appears to be yet another quietly imposing Star Wars villain with added edgelord factor, but actually a mentally unstable, borderline yandere berserker of a man crushed under the weight of a legacy, with a horrifying inferiority complex, identity issues, and an unhealthy obsession with familial honor, constantly stuck between Dark and Light. Despite his high rank, basically the First Order’s attack dog. Usually has the emotional maturity of a 16-year-old, if not younger. If anyone is, he’s the damsel in distress of this story.

Luke Skywalker: Cuddly sunshine headmaster sage doing his best, has been on many adventures before that are hidden ads to future Lucasfilm projects. May have gone to search for answers as to what is causing recent events, or is still present at the beginning. May survive at the end. He could be anywhere from kind of jaded but at his core still that sweet optimist, to Basically Uncle Iroh, to can-literally-summon-Porgs-by-whistling/Space Sage Mr. Rogers.

Han Solo: General of the Republic Armed Forces or courier who decided military life just wasn’t for him and now delivers important messages through still unstable areas of the New Republic, a war hero, and a dad doing his best. Wants to hold hope but may have at least outwardly given up on Ben, with Poe filling in the void. Has gone clean from his life of crime and still married 30+ years strong with Leia. He would be the one who is the closest to Poe if he’s still in the military and Leia is a Jedi, with Poe being seen as his likely successor. He might die at the end of 8? Maybe Hamill and Carrie would somehow talk him into sticking around past 7? He might still die in 7?

(Side note: I wish we could have seen Old Harrison Ford in a military casual coat-cape. He would have looked awesome in it. I mean no one would really complain that he plays fast and loose with the dress code if there even is one, he’s Han freakin’ Solo and he gives no f*cks.)

Leia Organa-Solo: Preferably a Jedi Knight, leader while he’s away if he’s away as well as their tactician, or senator considering her personality; maybe have basically what Colin Trevorrow planned for her (I mean… why not just use CGI at this point? They’ve done it before. I’m sure Carrie wouldn’t have wanted her swan song to be such a passive role either), with her bond with Luke being a major factor and us actually being able to see it in practice. May have outwardly given up on her son as well, but still is at the end of the day a mom doing her best. Basically a strong, smart lady like how she’s always been.

Chewbacca: How he always is, but he plays more of a role than basically the guy bussing the cast around, an active combat role definitely. Han’s second in command and maybe fellow dad. Possibly the part-time chaperone of the mess that is the new main duo. Also was Ben’s first friend, and you bet there will be drama here.

Lando Calrissian: Business mogul who probably helps the heroes out, maybe by selling them stuff and using his many connections to get information. And/or he’s basically an economic diplomat for the Republic. Has known Ben since he was a child and may have snuck him on too many joyrides without telling Leia, to her chagrin and Han’s amusement.

Grand Admiral Armitage Hux: Basically how he was in SW7. Calculating, manipulative, coldhearted, intelligent, and ruthless, the brains to Kylo’s brawn. Son of former Imperial officers, killed his own father to get where he is. Gives no f*cks, except when he goes full ham. Maybe even he goes cold and pale if Kylo starts getting angry, just to show how terrifying he can be, but I also like the idea of him being one of two people who can manipulate Kylo out of a tantrum and not end up a pile of flesh or choked to death.

Captain Phasma: How she is in supplemental material probably. A walking chrome machine of merciless death. Probably not very talkative, and probably does not take defectors lightly. She may defect at the end or not depending on how truly evil she’s portrayed to be, but I’m thinking she’s likely this cruel disciplinarian who expects complete and utter, machine-like obedience to the end, and Finn flinches at the mere mention of her, though she herself is equally as extremely loyal to the cause.

Snoke: A mysterious being, the likes of which are not of this galaxy. Probably some kind of ancient eldritch abomination who can torment vulnerable minds with an untraceable curse. Not your average Sith, and despite how it may seem it may not be connected to them at all… Or perhaps it is. Or perhaps it itself serves a larger master. It wants to use Kylo Ren for… something. Just what it is is what Luke has been trying to find out for years.

Knights of Ren: Idea borrowed from Thor Skywalker (check him out on YouTube!); possibly a military cult of Sith/Vader worshippers who see Ben as the second coming of Vader, and have aligned themselves with Snoke. Probably basically Kylo’s personal guard and troops. Or possibly directly liked to whatever otherworldly entit(ies?) Snoke is, not being of this galaxy themselves.

Anakin Skywalker: Determined grandpa doing his best for his kids, grandkid(s), and the galaxy. Doesn’t appear often, but plays a major role in the story; maybe he’s the one who led Rey to his lightsaber, and maybe he advises Luke while training Rey, or secretly follows Kylo, trying to speak to him but unable to be seen or heard by him. He’d be the one who ultimately convinces Ben to return to the light, and to, in an echo of the words Ben heard when he was being impersonated, “finish what I started”.

Rose Tico: A probably relatively new, wide-eyed young recruit in the Republic Military, and maybe seeks revenge on First Order for killing or kidnapping her sister. Not sure if she will be needed, but if there’s room for her she might be interesting. Maybe she’s one of Poe’s friends or part of his squad. She could also be the resident girly girl because there aren’t many of those here.

Vice-Admiral Amberlyn Holdo: She’s in the Aftermath books, and those seem pretty good, so she’s probably how she is there. A quirky mostly background character that is probably at most there for Han and/or Leia and Ackbar to give commands to and salute back, but most importantly she actually does her job properly, even if she’s still a bit of an odd person. Also Poe knows her and they have a way more amicable work relationship. Also give her something which actually looks like something military personnel would wear. She could even be a legitimately good tactician who comes up with off-the-wall tactics.

(Side note: I heard that she basically has the Star Wars version of Autism, and while I’d appreciate that as an Aspie myself, I’ll also have to say that Autistic people would probably be terrible military leaders due to us not being able to adjust to sudden changes well and our bad communication skills. So yeah, sorry, unless she’s recast to something like, say, a mechanic or logistics or medic or any other more Autistic-friendly job, that’s going to have to go)

Maz Kanada: …Admittedly not sure what to do with her. But she’s more likely to be an acquaintance of Lando before Han, if she doesn’t know both. In fact, Lando may be introduced early alongside her. But she would still have the important role of keeping Anakin’s saber; how she has it, either Lando found it, or basically what was cut from TFA showing that she’s indeed pretty awesome.

BB-8: BB-8 doesn’t have to change. He’s perfect as he is. Maybe what he can do should be more consistent though. Poe and him are basically Ash and Pikachu, they stick together whenever possible. If Rey or Finn need a droid to tag along and Poe isn’t in the party at the moment, R2 is right there. I once read a fanfic in which BB-8 was actually a droid Luke made for Ben and I liked the idea… though it probably would be a bit of an unnecessary detail in practice.

R2-D2 and C3P0: They’re basically business as usual. They would still have that boke-tsukkomi dynamic they had going on, sometimes with the added childlike cuteness of BB-8 in the mix. If there’s any extra time left for comic relief scenes, or if they’re sent on some kind of mission together, I can see these three messing around doing their thing (or rather, BB being childlike, cute and curious, Threepio being overly nervous, and Artoo being too old for this sh*t and/or BB’s cool uncle/older brother) being both cute and hilarious.

Also Worldbuilding stuff will be featured at the bottom

Elaboration on the “big four” of the sequel cast:

Rey: Aged 19, speaks with Daisy Ridley’s normal accent, not RP (I mean really, her accent isn’t that hard to understand). A whole rainbow of possibilities with this lady, though many don’t realize it. I might be leaning towards her being Luke’s daughter, though her being Just Rey may also be interesting, and her still being a descendant of Palpatine or the main villain could also have potential, though if Finn is a Jedi I don’t think there’s any need for her parents to be nobody. But the three main routes I can think of for her are these three: Cynical!Rey, a Rey with a backstory identical to the canon Rey from her abandonment onwards, Fangirl!Rey, a sort of estimation of a dorky female Star Wars nerd in-universe and the most lighthearted start out of the three, and Padawan!Rey, a Rey who is already Luke’s Padawan at his academy. Maybe making her starting point less crushingly bleak and Fangirl!Rey could work, but it might dilute both ideas, and that characterization might be a bit too similar to ANH Luke.

As is apparent, Cynical!Rey, is, well, cynical. She’s strong and independent, but extremely distrusting, on-edge, and not used to friendly interaction. Think Female SW4 Han Solo but even more antisocial and probably not even bothering with the bravado, and basically with Anakin’s upbringing except she doesn’t even have a loving mother like Anakin did. Fangirl!Rey was my initial idea but I’m starting to become less partial to it because of the aforementioned similarity to ANH Luke, but my idea was she’s basically Harry Potter, living with stepparents who hate her, or she’s still used as basically child labor but her conditions are nowhere near as bad as Cynical Rey’s, and she would have grown up on stories about the Rebels and the Jedi and everything else in the past movies, collecting every single bit of memorabilia she can get her hands on. If one wants to go for very lighthearted and slightly meta for SW7 this is the route. Padawan!Rey could go anywhere, but I’m thinking she would basically be our D&D Paladin; ever since Ben Solo went berserk and ran off to join the First Order, she’s become very protective of her fellow students and has a really understandable personal grudge against him. She might be the strongest pupil left after the Second Jedi Massacre, and by the end maybe she becomes the successor to headmaster of the academy. It is possible that she was found abandoned on Jakku or Luke’s doorstep, however, so the theme of growing up lonely is there, and because being a Jedi is what has given her meaning in life it means a lot to her. But while I don’t want her parentage to be revealed early if it is Luke, it does raise the massive plot hole of why this was never disclosed to her or to Ben.

And yes, I did say fellow students and academy. Wiping the new Jedi Order feels really cheap and it makes the whole hopeful Jedi Starting Anew implication that I’m 90% sure the OT ended on feel very pointless. I’d prefer them still being there, though their inclusion would be obviously way more natural in the Padawan Route. This also has tons of marketing potential for Disney, because I wanted to take IRL realism into account; what’s in it for Disney? Maybe potential to expand on other students and Luke’s academy? It could be like a smaller Jedi Hogwarts/Xavier Institute basically. Though the survivors wouldn’t be too numerous; just, like, four at most. Maybe there would be elements of an Avengers/Infinity War/Endgame-esque team movie, even if the rest are a bit out of focus.

I did think maybe the heroes would still go to Ahch-To after SW7 where Luke would have been hiding with his students researching the new threat, but maybe I could have him stay and sort of take a few cues from Harry Potter by introducing the heroes to the world of the Jedi early and giving them a break in the action as they settle in their new homes, so there’s more time to develop the padawan side characters, what the academy is like, and Luke gets to appear in SW7 as well so there can be a OT trio “reunion” (not a reunion in-universe). Though that kind of messes with other parts I want to include like Rey and Finn having to take on Kylo and getting completely whipped because he’s a rampaging madman before having to be saved by Luke. Also Rey getting kidnapped has potential for developing her trust in others, and her and Finn getting a breather moment at the Republic after the heroes and Han regroup would kind of remove a point where that could be easily slotted in the story. It would also require everything before this to be crammed in the first act.

(Newer edit 5/27/21) I also like her getting a golden double-bladed saber like many fans depict her. It’s not only awesome looking (because she only gets her own saber at the end of TROS… Why?), but it’s more toys for the moichendise! It fits her starting with a staff, it has more reach, and it would fit Cynical Rey especially for her to have a style centered around keeping as much of herself defended as possible. Watching Battlefront 2 footage has made me think about fighting styles a bit, and if she and Finn are a duo how their styles of combat might compliment each other, especially as their relationship develops (coincidentally she and Finn apparently are a very good combination in BF2). A Cynical Rey would probably contrast the most, with a fighting style based on keeping enemies away, trickery, and defense (a good choice for a blade made of light), maybe a bit wild at first but initially her goal in fighting would be to hold out until there is an opening to get the hell out, only staying to fight if she has no other option. Fangirl Rey wouldn’t really have a fighting style initially, and it’s gonna be very dependent on where her arc goes. Padawan Rey would have the most Prequel Jedi-esque, choreographed style, showing a lot of skill though not quite mastering it and with tons of openings at first. A Cynical Rey may have an uncanny skill to detect suspicious people, which would make her trusting the heroes easier, and though this ability isn’t super strong and is more “a slight gut feeling but it could be nothing” than “human lie detector” it could maybe be honed more. And while not quite wall vision like in BF2 (because wat? Where do they come up with this stuff?), maybe she’s good at detecting people’s presences too. These are very apt ambient skills for someone in her position. Meanwhile, Fangirl!Rey would have probably suspected she had the Force already, and her ambient abilities could be whatever, just rather passive abilities unless trained.

If she is Luke’s daughter though, that would open up the can of worms of who her mother is. Just making it so that she died before the events of SW7 might seem a bit… unfortunate? I kind of want Luke to have found love sometime (and seriously with how much of a bombshell young Luke was, in addition to him being such a hero, I’m shocked that he never got one. I can see why Mara Jade wanted a piece of that. *wolf whistle*), but then I’d have to figure out how to incorporate her in this already character-dense story without her having cheaply died offscreen. I might be able to think of something? I could always go digging in the dusty pile of old fan theories, I might find something good. Thor Skywalker did hint at her but his story stopped at the end of where SW8 would have. If I do name her Mara there’s probably going to be extra pressure to do something with her. …But I can’t be the only one who thinks that Daisy Ridley kind of looks like Natalie Portman. Then again I’m pretty face-blind. I guess blond hair and blue eye color genes are also recessive traits for Star Wars humans. Though it seems the height genes skipped a generation because she’s actually pretty tall for a woman at 170 cm - I’m sorry what. That’s as tall as the average Japanese man! Holy sh*t Daisy! She only looks a bit small because she’s often depicted with Kylo and Kylo makes everyone not Phasma look diminutive. I guess Ben would get it from Anakin and Han (though he’s still taller than both of them…), so maybe a taller actress would be cast as Mara (?). And despite Rey’s malnourishment in the Cynical route, this actually isn’t that implausible, because stunted growth apparently only happens if children are deprived from gestation to about 2 years of age.

And again, why wouldn’t Ben know about this? But if this isn’t the Padawan!Rey route (the hardest to incorporate Rey The Actual Skywalker into), maybe Ben took Rey’s assumed death as even more of a reason to burden himself with the entire Skywalker legacy? This would give him a reason to already care about her.

Further edits: According to the Aftermath books, Jakku was a “Lightside Nexus” planet. Maybe this has to do with her powers? (Perhaps she was kept sane by the Force speaking to her on occasion, in dreams or as she lies staring at the ceiling after a long day, showing her the loving life she used to live and unknown to her she will return to someday). Or why she was dropped there? Maybe she was supposed to be living with Lor San Tekka (the old guy Kylo kills at the beginning of TFA), but got lost one day or was kidnapped by bandits to be a scavenger because her small size would have been perfect for getting loot from small spaces? Why not take her back then? This probably is one of the biggest plot knots in the Cynical Rey Skywalker route, alongside who her mother is.

Small detail lightning round before moving on: I once read a Japanese fic, and in it she mentioned she hates alcohol because she saw how it turned people into monsters. I actually kind of liked this headcanon, and maybe a bit unexpected. Though there’s also the route of her just being too used to it, setting her apart from previous more wholesome protagonists even more. Also Daisy would have to start hitting the gym and protein shakes because I think her character design evolving from her thin build to a very athletic, Wonder Woman-esque body type would be pretty good in representing her growth as a character, and combined with her height she would be so very badass looking.

Finn: Probably around 23? Infamous for lost potential, so his backstory is the same. However, I’m thinking that due to his dehumanizing upbringing, he’s a bit robotic and pretty stoic initially, a total opposite to Poe. He doesn’t understand jokes or sarcasm, and now that he’s completely left the life he’s always known, he feels pretty lost. He would basically act like a male Rei Ayanami, though I was going more for Drax at first. Alternatively, he’s a proud warrior type, imagine a stereotypical North Korean/Prussian soldier. He’d be a bit more emotional and probably less cartoonish here (I mean I have compared Star Wars to anime but full-on anime tropes in live action probably looks super corny), and he’s a massive hardass who also doesn’t get sarcasm or jokes and fanatical and would have thought of his fellow soldiers as a collective as his band of brothers and comrades, collectively serving the FO like a smoothly running machine. My initial thought was that after a life of war crimes and the influence a certain pilot whose cell he was guarding who gave him his name, and maybe witnessing the death of a comrade, he had defected from the FO, but I started thinking it would be plausible if he defected from the FO probably by accident. Highly likely to be the second protagonist, if not POV character, and if so I think it’s logical that it’s Finnrey that becomes the canon ship here. In the Padawan!Rey route, he’s the newcomer protagonist, not Rey. If they’re shipped, or even as friends, they may bond over their dehumanizing, harsh backgrounds and the feeling of being lost in the world. Also he likely starts a mutiny. Like it was such an obvious plot point but they never use it for some bizarre reason. It’s like the DM didn’t read his character sheet at all. Actually one didn’t and the other kept forgetting it in the third campaign.

There’s two ways I think his arc could go; first would be a focus mainly on his search for identity and becoming his own person. Second, his guilt about having done the First Order’s bidding for so long. Probably a combination of the two, though I’m not sure how to address them both. He also wants to see his colleagues free from slavery. But I am sure about I’d that he’d have to overcome his conditioning, learning to regain his humanity.

Especially if Rey is a Skywalker and he becomes a Jedi, he’d be the one who the movie makes a point about being from nowhere. He has no idea who his parents are, but it would not even matter in the end, it’s what he makes of his life from here on out. And if he and Rey end up together, which is extremely likely in this scenario, he not only finds his family in the figurative sense with the other Jedi and his new friends plus girlfriend, but in the literal sense as well, going from nameless Stormtrooper FN-2187, to just Finn the ex-Stormtrooper, to Finn the Padawan and then Jedi Knight, to finally, Finn Skywalker, Jedi Knight; maybe the last movie ends with one of them proposing to the other, with SW8 having previously ended with the climactic big damn kiss that cemented that they are a thing now. (Cue Luke jokingly asking when he’s getting grandchildren and How It Should Have Ended!Anakin squeeing over him getting great-grandchildren lol) His name would have this real symbolic value to it with how it changes as he goes from nobody to somebody. Not to mention “Finn Skywalker” is just a freakin’ awesome name. If they make up the leading duo, he and Rey may have some kind of inherent connection, or they progress into two parts of the same whole, even attaining something like a Dyad.

I thought an interesting thing to do if Rey is a Skywalker, and this is Cynical Rey, is a twist on the expected pattern by making him the one who sees the good in Kylo, not Rey. Because while Rey might be his cousin, she’s also a very distrustful person who couldn’t afford to think deeply about people act the way they do when she was growing up and fighting to survive. Meanwhile, Finn knows Kylo, and he also knows what it’s like to be determined to be a killing machine from a very young age, and if he has to forgive himself, or if he’s able to see the light, that Kylo deserves a chance as well. It would be the ultimate show of kindness from him, to show him forgiving the man who works so loyally under the same organization that enslaved him. I can also see Kylo being angry at himself for being unable to sense the Force-Sensitive in their midst.

Maybe he was born on a “Lightside nexus” planet too so that it makes sense that he can keep up with other characters? Presuming he’s in his early 20s, I don’t think him being raised by the Order since he was a baby is that plausible, so maybe he was already an orphan? I can see the First Order spinning their Stormtrooper program kidnapping street orphans as “rehabilitating” them, which combined with good old Victorian style citizen apathy to street children allows them to get away with it. But if he was, say, around 6 years old when he was taken away, it would make sense why he was able to break out of his programming. Perhaps Poe showing him friendship awoke the humanity long dormant in him. But on the other hand, the younger, adolescent soldiers may be beyond saving, and I can see that being absolutely heartbreaking.

I can see his fighting style with a saber being direct, forceful, and pragmatic, but unlike Rey the emphasis would be on engaging and keeping up the fight, and be very disciplined, calculated, and controlled in contrast to Cynical Rey. At least he’d attempt it while he gets used to the properties of a lightsaber, before there would probably be a lot of awkwardness as John is directed to swing this weightless prop blade with a weighted hilt like he would a club or sword. If he isn’t a Force Sensitive, he’s a good sniper just like in BF2, in fact this would be his primary combat ability, though still able to hold his own in melee combat. Though even as a Jedi he’d probably still use a gun as a sidearm, and his good aim would also translate to him being very good at spotting openings and spotting danger from a distance, as well as enhanced ability to dodge.

Poe Dameron: Age 29 (?). A total bro. I’ve kind of come to think of him as this embodiment of the good, wholesome side of traditional masculinity. I can best describe him as the guy you expect to think of when you think of the guy who takes the boys to the bar for beers on the house and hosts Super Bowl night (for the Americans out there). Basically just that big bro/cool uncle everyone likes. I think he’s the least changed from how he is in SW7; he’s a laid-back pilot with no special powers, and while he’s probably the most static and admittedly flat character (and unfortunately more minor than the other two) he has tons of charisma and optimism to compensate, though being the one who keeps everyone sane definitely helps. Not to mention his piloting skills; which, note, are never eclipsed by Rey, because that’s dumb. His skills are a bit more downplayed here, but he’s still extremely good, especially for his age. Despite being the pilot he’s the most down-to-earth, and may be the only one of the big four with any social skills, even if he’s a bit dorky, especially regarding BB-8.

Son of Rebel pilots, graduated top of his class in the Republic Flight Academy, and his background is squeaky clean, no drug trading involved, though he spent a lot of his adolescence and his adulthood in the Academy or in the military, just like in pre-TROS supplementary material. He’s the main source of jokes and wisecracks out of the trio in all but the most dorky of Fangirl!Rey routes probably, teaching Cynical!Rey and Finn what it’s like to smile and laugh. He still has a close relationship with Leia and Han; possibly closer to the latter due to the latter being a pilot and likely still a General. Not sure about him keeping his rank because him starting and staying at the top might mesh awkwardly with the rest of the trio, but maybe he’s still a Commander; whichever makes his inclusion in the main cast most plausible. Due to an adorable Pixiv comic I found he may have been inspired to become a pilot by Luke or Han. I’d like to think that he breaks the hotshot pilot cliché a bit by not being too overly arrogant, immediately setting himself apart from Han by being a wholesome guy there for his buddies from the start, even if he is fond of wisecracking and snarkiness (probably from hanging around Han and Leia), and inside that laid-back personality lies a hotblooded, passionate, unwavering core. Like, he’s not exactly hotheaded like a Latin stereotype (*ahem*), but he’s got this more subtle, but still apparent, underlying fiery hotbloodedness to him, something that especially makes itself apparent in high-stress situations and when it comes to his loved ones. He’d also be Rey and Finn’s mentor of sorts in stuff that doesn’t involve the Force, being their role model for what a functional member of society is. He may make some self-depreciating jokes about being “normal”, but I think mostly he’ll take it in stride. Though I can see him and Han having a chat about this in a more quiet scene.

Ironically, out of the trio he could maybe be said to be the most suited to be a Jedi personality-wise, despite the fact that he has no Force Sensitivity whatsoever; he goes with the flow, he isn’t troubled, he’s happy with the simple pleasures in life, he’s just a good, genuine guy who does good things, passionate but not obsessive, and he’s forgiving, willing to give even an enemy soldier a chance, appealing to the humanity in him. The last one is particularly Luke-like, don’t you think? Oh, to elaborate on the escape; I still like the idea of him giving Finn his name (though another idea I love is a fallen friend giving Finn his name, that would change stuff around a lot from what I am thinking at this moment). I also think that perhaps supplemental material or some flashbacks, or even an animated short could be made showing just how Poe broke Finn’s programming; by showing him genuine kindness, because somehow, despite his lack of Force Sensitivity, he saw that FN-2187 could be talked out of his programming if he was constantly nice to him, befriending him, starting up casual chatter with him, and after a while the trooper starts opening up to this pilot. …Yeah, Luke-like indeed. Though since there is the plot hole of why Finn could be convinced in mere days and why he’s the only one guarding such a high-profile prisoner, a more realistic idea may be that they talk to each other this way a few times, then Poe escapes and Finn goes after him before they both crash on Jakku and have to work together, with Poe immediately being friendly with Finn and later Rey, to his (and her) confusion. (I can just imagine Poe being all chipper and trying to engage Finn in conversation, or telling him “Good job, sport!” after they fight off bandits or something, and Finn just is all deadpan and “We are enemies, we have no reason to fraternize” and I find that kind of cute).

He may ultimately be the most static of the main cast, but I can see him having a huge impact in more subtle ways; like maybe Rey and Finn think of what Poe might do in a given situation in their training, and he could be the catalyst behind why Finn thinks that Kylo can be redeemed, just like how Poe was able to light another way when it felt like there was only one path for him. He also definitely wouldn’t be the type to be so reckless with his men like he was in TLJ, if he’s still a Commander; he cares about his men a lot, and in fact they may be the reason why he tends to act like an older brother. I can imagine a pretty poignant scene with Finn where Finn sees Poe by himself and BB-8 paying respects to his fallen comrades by this handmade cenotaph, as he sets some flowers down and pours a drink to them, and Finn once again is able to see how different the culture outside the First Order is, as he would have never been mourned like that if he died on the battlefield, nor can he imagine he ever would have done so himself. Or maybe Rey is there too, because if this is Cynical Rey she’s only known a life where people exploited each other. Maybe other characters like Jessika (who he’s already close to I think? Did she show up in the movies though?) or Rose would have the opportunity to be more than background characters by being part of his crew, and we’d get some charming scenes about the bond he has with his squadron.

Again, admittedly he’d be the least deep character out of the big four, with his feelings not being explored nearly as much. But he probably doesn’t really hide his feelings much anyway. For any supplementary shorts involving him, they would be mainly lighter stories about his relationship with the OT cast and their families and his friendship with BB-8 and his crew, or action-y ones about missions he’s gone on; as opposed to, say, Finn, which would show his life as an expendable trooper who knew nothing but war, Cynical!Rey and her crushing loneliness and growing disillusionment to the world as she struggles to survive, or Padawan!Rey and her anguish and grappling with the Dark Side in the aftermath of the Jedi Massacre.

I can also imagine him being this adorable Shipper On Deck for Finnrey lol. Just looking at his two friends, all proud, maybe even tearing up like “*sniff* I’m not crying Buddy, you’re crying!” when the inevitable big kiss scene happens. I can also imagine him being the one to tell Finn that “Hey Finn, what you’re feeling is love!”…And then he has to spend hours trying to explain what love even is to him lol. He always has his friends’ back after all. Again, he’s most likely the one guy who isn’t completely socially inept among these dorks. I’ve also had the potential idea that he could maybe be a good cook, and he’d be the one who introduces Rey and Finn to actually good food. Some fics I’ve noticed tend to show him cooking stuff probably for that reason. It’s just kind of cute, and it sets a good example if despite his traditionally masculine, salt-of-the-earth character, he likes some less “manly” stuff like such and sees no shame in it.

He may sacrifice himself in a blaze of glory towards the end, especially because quite frankly he may lose his plot relevance as the story goes on, though it would definitely be way more respectful than a lot of deaths were treated in the sequels. But I also want him to stick around because I want to imagine him being all proud of Rey and Finn after they propose to each other and giddily planning their wedding, and I feel he could have some very good interactions with Ben to build on for any spinoffs taking place after the trilogy. Speaking of…

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo: AKA Yet Another Ball Of Lost Potential: Anti-Villain Addition. This is gonna be a doozy, so strap in. He was probably the most developed character here but that just makes his lost potential stick out even more, so I have so much to say about him.

About 27 probably. While people complain about it, I actually like him being a manchild. It makes him a bit unique in this series. It’s kind of like Vader if he didn’t get stuck in that suit and kept acting like Anakin. In fact, that could make him even more terrifying if that feeds into how destructive he can be; at first he seems like your typical intimidating SW villain, not even that bad a leader with a seemingly calm if tense, imposing air, but it eventually becomes clear he’s this terrifying, volatile berserker who can throw some of the most destructive tantrums ever, and is ultimately a pathetic, broken, pitiful shell of a man. …He just happens to be a very powerful shell of a man. Maybe if he becomes emotional or angry enough, he can unleash powerful shockwaves that basically blow up everything around him, or cause mini Force Storms, or cause any number of unpredictable effects. Though he’s not quite constantly raging either; these berserk states are indeed triggered by anger, but I’m thinking that they are also basically weaponized panic attacks, there’s a sense that it’s also a self-defense mechanism that he lapses into when emotions overwhelm him or when he otherwise feels threatened (though whether it’s necessarily involuntary all the time I’m not so sure; but while he’d definitely want to be able to trigger them voluntarily, there will always be some sense that he doesn’t have full control over it). Also a lot of his rage is directed inwards as well, much like with his grandfather. I thought that maybe his unpredictability in these rages would be the key to his destructiveness, though I can see how someone who is out of control would also pose a problem, no matter how powerful; so maybe this is when he becomes the most focused, becoming locked onto the elimination of the perceived threat at all costs, and/or he can be controlled by his Master more directly like some kind of attack animal.

Luke’s first padawan, or at least after Leia or Grogu (I might make him show up as Luke’s first knighted pupil and allude to this, providing more exposition on Kylo, and being one of the Jedi who help fight in the final battle as the Skywalkers go on to take on the final boss (and Grogu’s name being revealed would be a massive hype moment in The Mandalorian)). Due to his storied family, plus the name of his uncle and grandfather’s own master, he had heavy expectations on his (at the time) small shoulders from an early age. However, he had long been tormented by the Dark Side due to an untraceable curse placed upon him by Snoke, and probably a pre-existing anxious personality. The expectations placed on him, or maybe perhaps just self-imposed expectations, only worsened his turmoil, resulting in a festering mess of self-hatred, extreme perfectionism, and an obsession with familial honor and obsessive attachment to his family, especially Luke, that is a nasty combination of hero-worship and the abovementioned complexes and may border on almost incestuous.

There’s three ways for his backstory to go; “Underachiever Ben”, where Ben is either mediocre as a Jedi or still good but outperformed by others, or “Elsa Ben”, where he’s basically like Elsa from Frozen, possessing an extreme amount of power but barely able to control it, possibly due to Snoke’s curse, and a sort of middle ground, where Ben was super strong and a quick learner, but the dark side in him made Luke feel mixed about Ben’s increasing power, which Ben sensed. If the former, Ben becomes increasingly frustrated at himself for being such a “failure”. If “Elsa Ben”, there’s that, and also the added pain of him growing up terrified of himself and able to sense the terror he causes to those around him, so he was taken in by Luke so hopefully Luke could figure something out; he could have been destructive from the start, or maybe he started to become increasingly destructive despite his training. If the middle ground route, he takes Luke’s mixed emotions to mean that he doesn’t think he’s good enough. How severe Snoke’s curse would have been I’m not fully sure on; he could have voices in his head and nightmares keeping him up for days, chipping away at his sanity, tempting him to accept the darkness, or it may have just been an amplifying of his already unstable emotions. They could have even started as the latter and escalated to the former. But I’m thinking that to best explain his behavior I’m leaning towards the Elsa route. Eventually, his nightmares morphed into repeated visits by Darth Vader, his grandfather, who told him about the truth of his lineage and how he became Vader, slandering everything and everyone he ever admired or loved, telling him of his “true” destiny, and how he should give up and embrace it; unable to hear the real Anakin’s ghost screaming at him to not repeat his mistake. This extended campaign of mental torment stunted his emotional growth in many aspects, and at times he may seem to regress even more. Maybe other padawans were afraid of him because of this dark side presence, avoiding him, and/or were jealous of him because of his lineage and relation to Luke. He often felt entitled to be Luke’s right hand, getting jealous at other students and taking any reprimanding, no matter how gentle, extremely personally. Luke would have needed to struggle between not seeming to be biased towards his nephew and giving him the attention he needed, especially because Ben would feel like Han and Leia abandoned him because they weren’t able to help him, but considering how attached he is to Luke this would hurt him. So when Luke went to speak to him one night, or rushed in sensing an overwhelming dark side presence in his room, and was suddenly attacked by Snoke with a vision of what his nephew would become and making him go into fighting mode for a split second, drawing his weapon to protect Ben, and/or earlier admitted in anguish that he had no idea what was tormenting him despite his efforts, the straw broke the pedestal and he resigned himself to his “destiny”. Ironically he’s just exchanging one sky-high ideal for another, but he’s too emotionally immature to realize this, nor does he fully realize the fact that Snoke merely sees him as a malleable, gullible means to an end. Yet he still feels that pesky pull to the light, and he becomes increasingly frustrated with himself that even as a Dark side user, he still can’t be “perfect” or “worth” anything, not even able to sink himself into the darkness and finally rid himself of his pain. For all the privilege and power he has, or because of it, he always feels worthless.

Basically I want to break him down and make his pitifulness obvious, but that’s what makes him sympathetic. He’s nowhere as far gone as Vader, even if he wants to be, kind of like a reverse Jekyll and Hyde situation where the Hyde is dominant but Jekyll hangs on, so to speak? Maybe? Is that the right analogy? Or I guess it is kind of like Anakin but sort of not, but he’s rapidly going down the same route of hurting his family like his grandfather.

From researching a bit, his proposed behavior seems pretty close to the symptoms of BPD, which is actually pretty fitting because I was thinking Luke’s philosophy on the Force would be influenced by a more modern understanding of psychology, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy actually seems pretty in tune with what I understand to be how the Light Side of the Force works (I mean it even has basis in religious meditation…). Perhaps a mystical version of DBT was one of the things Luke was studying in exile. Though obviously it isn’t exactly BPD; portraying an actual, named mental illness not only has way too much baggage behind it, but it breaks immersion. And with him a lot of it will be the influence of the curse, though I think I would rather him have a personality that made him vulnerable to it from the start, so the curse had something to latch onto.

Going with the “Elsa Ben” scenario, his “real” personality is anxious and even a bit shy. While I like the idea of him being cheerful when he was very little, the shyness always being there is also a characterization I like. Combined with his lumbering physique from his teenage years onwards, this made him a kid who gave off an impression of being extremely dorky (an act that would probably be very natural for Adam Driver to pull off lol) and/or withdrawn and aloof, the latter of which may have made some other padawans think he thought highly of himself and start to resent him. Unlike Anakin he’d be probably a dutiful student, almost creepily obedient, probably actively distancing himself from rebellious behavior, though his way of speaking isn’t exactly super formal either because of the influence of the adults around him. In his obsessions lies a genuine love, even if twisted, of his “favorite person” so to speak. He was also a genuinely sweet kid who wanted to please these special people in his life. He could be said to be actually really selfless in a weird way, because ultimately he values familial honor and being “good enough” for whatever higher purpose more than he values himself. TROS implied some sassiness with that Han-like shrug, and while I can maybe see some of Han rubbing off on him like that, that might be something that started from him trying to copy his parents’ air of confidence, and another coping mechanism. He might, like Vader, have a 501st legion 2.0 which Phasma is in charge of and Finn is part of, and show a more nicer side to them. Perhaps he opened up one or two times to Finn specifically; I can see this image of him venting to him while Finn stands still like how someone might vent to their dog, not really expecting Finn to be listening (also sarcasm might help Kylo obscure his true anguish from Finn, because FO troopers don’t understand sarcasm probably).

He will be redeemed at the end… and live. Even if not necessarily paired with Rey. I’m neutral on Reylo (though admittedly I have a weak spot for pairs involving a strong woman and a troubled guy, so it’s kind of growing on me), but I really think this ship, or even centering the story strongly around a platonic relationship between these two, could have worked if it was built up strongly (Though if I were to go this route Finn would have to be established as a secondary character from the start, with Rey as the definitive main character, to focus on this). But either way, he’s definitely going to have to face the consequences of what he’s done, make up for his atrocities at least somewhat, and think about what he truly wants to do from now on. I can imagine him quietly reading stories to younglings as Rey, Finn, and Luke train some other pupils outside, or thanklessly working behind the scenes in other ways. For his haters out there, I could make the pill easier to swallow not just by making the reasons for his fall and how he was slowly and meticulously gaslit more clear, but also making him not as awful. Yes, he’s extremely destructive, but he could show more reluctance, or pause after his berserker rages, staring at the destruction he’s caused as the weight of what he’s done sinks in. He’d of course resent that he still has mercy left in him though. I don’t think that there will be a Starkiller Base, but even if there was he might argue with Hux a bit over whether it’s really necessary, until Hux sneers at him for having mercy, saying that Vader never hesitated when blowing up Alderaan, and Kylo reluctantly backs off.

…Actually, what about making him and Rey cousins? On one hand, if Rey is a Skywalker by blood, a direct daughter of the Master himself no less, Ben is now suddenly freed from carrying the weight of the family legacy on his own. On the other hand… He basically loses the thing he has spent his entire life building his identity around; since his fall would have partially been because of his obsession with Luke, he may become jealous and extremely resentful of her, and/or take this as even more reason for Luke to not “need” him anymore. Or perhaps, he pulls a reverse of “I sense the conflict in you” with her, wanting to “save” her from embracing the Light and wanting her to embrace the “true” Skywalker destiny with him. He could even be overjoyed that he could have someone else alongside him to carry on the legacy with; in this scenario he could have an unhealthy obsession with her that might also start crossing into “are you sure this isn’t incest?” territory. Yeah it’s a “join me and we can rule together” scenario again, but it would be done differently. Or perhaps it’s a mix of some of those. Exploring that and how he chooses to take it could be extremely interesting. Maybe it’s resolved when Anakin tells him to “finish what he started”… not just by saving the galaxy, but by also living the rest of his life loving his family not as an ideal, but as family, like Anakin wasn’t allowed to. And platonic Reylo sounds nice too. Though that’s going to make all that shipping fanart so awkward lol. Well it’s not as if Star Wars shippers haven’t been cockblocked by incest before (though his obsession with family and extremely questionable mental state would probably make such shippers go nuts anyway…).

And going off of Poe being close to his parents, while the main interactions with Kylo from the heroes would be Rey, Finn if he’s the second protagonist, Luke, and his parents, I can see potential for an interesting dynamic and some interesting conversations between them too. Much like how he might react to Rey being Luke’s daughter, I can see him being jealous of Poe and resenting him for being his “replacement”, but after his redemption I can see potential for seeing the start of a friendship between them in epilogue comics, novels, or a mini-series. It would be pretty in-character for my version of Poe to want to help rehabilitate his sort-of stepbrother. Also I now have the adorable mental image of Ben quietly helping Poe (and maybe the rest of his squad) decorate and arrange Rey and Finn’s wedding, or the two surprising Finn with a very elaborate bachelor party, though I’m not sure if those exist in this universe. And because of a certain Inside Llewyn Davis scene I’m also imagining Poe getting Ben to sing with him and BB-8. It’s adorable.

Also if both Rey and Finn are the main heroes, he might have some kind of link with both of them, and the main duo would both contrast him in their own way (lonely scavenger who no one expected anything of and nameless trooper who defected from the First Order vs. someone who grew up in greatness but seemingly threw it away and chose to be in the First Order; and much like Kylo Finn in particular has been manipulated from childhood to do heinous things, so he may sympathize with his situation). Maybe he’s the missing piece needed for both him and the leading duo to reach their full potential, or the main duo are the last piece needed to finally break Snoke’s curse on him, or something. Or it could simply just be Finn showing his growth and strength of character by understanding and forgiving Kylo, despite him now understanding just how badly the First Order treated him, which makes Rey (who, again, might start as this super cynical scavenger or may have seen Kylo go berserk and massacre her friends and betray her Master) come around to the idea. In this scenario it may actually be even more important to emphasize that Rey and Finn are two making up a whole, so as not to bog stuff down. It’s possible to ship Finnrey and want Kylo to have a better ending, what a shock!

Maybe Rey and Kylo could switch places, and he comes back to the light in SW8, which is an idea I’ve seen floated and is something that would make the story truly unique. He would seem like basically a less stable Vader 2.0 at the start, but over SW8 he could be seen breaking more and more out of his own terrible mindset, coming to a head in a cathartic realization that bring him back into the arms of his beloved family. It would also add an interesting dynamic that he and Finn have to be equals now. But that may mean that Rey would have to be killed off and I’m not so sure about that.

Though speaking of her, since in all these scenarios a common thread is that she understandably doesn’t like him, it would be a bit of a twist if Finn sees the good in him but Rey, if she’s a Skywalker, his cousin, doesn’t.

And to bring up Poe again, I also really like the idea of them having been childhood friends and thus knowing each other before the events of SW7; after all, they’re around similar age, it isn’t that far-fetched to think that former Rebel families would be still pretty close to each other, and I’ve seen some adorable fanfics with the concept. It also adds connection between them and adds even more tragedy, even if this relationship may have to be elaborated more in supplementary material due to time. I can definitely Poe speaking like an old friend to Kylo and constantly calling him “Ben”, to his irritation. The abovementioned feeling of being replaced could be what caused Ben to suddenly break off the friendship. And making the main cast kind of tight-knit like this might also help make the cast easier to manage.

Granted, there is the possibility of killing him off, though. I heard that one of the initial ideas for TFA was apparently that Kylo would be a reverse Vader, falling deeper and deeper into the Dark Side as the trilogy goes on. In fact, this may have been where Kylo killing Han may have been leading to. This actually sounded like a super cool idea, but considering the backstory I laid out I thought it would be way too bittersweet for the concluding movie of the saga, and if one were to say Kylo basically has BPD… That might lead to some unfortunate implications. I mean nothing is stopping me from not using the Elsa backstory, and if I didn’t use it maybe this route would be pretty viable, but I’m kind of starting to get attached to it.

—

Other characters:

Hux: I’ve never really been a villain person. I mean I liked sympathetic villains, yeah (but even then I preferred anti-heroes for a while; I’m talking like nothing beyond N from Pokémon levels of “evil”), but straight-up villains I just have merely seen as obstacles. Like back in my Smash fic days I was often like “Eh… They’re there… Because they want to take over the world I guess?”. It’s why I’m having trouble with Snoke probably lol. But for some reason Hux interests me. If I take a guess it’s probably because of the potential he had as an actual foil to Kylo in his own faction. He had so much potential as a villain, and in having this tense dynamic play out. In fact he does seem to have been set up that way in SW7. But yeah, I imagine him as one coldhearted bastard. His backstory, though not elaborated on in the movies, would be much like TFA supplementary material set him up; he’d still have killed his father, but while yes, Brendol was abusive and strict, Armitage didn’t kill him completely because he was a young man who wanted to break free from his strict father, but also genuinely because he knew doing so would be good for his standing. Unlike Kylo when he (most likely) kills Han, he doesn’t regret killing Brendol at all. While he might have a tragic backstory kind of explaining his behavior, it doesn’t bother him at all, while Kylo, who considering what happened to him and how he’s literally under a curse you’d think would have a much steeper fall into unabashed evil, is constantly conflicted. It’s a very Sith Lord-like backstory funnily enough… In fact I’m pretty sure that Palpatine had a backstory very similar to this with his parents.

He’s a very logical, analytical, brutally pragmatic person, and he looks upon Kylo’s emotional state with condescension. I’m increasingly starting to like the idea that he’s somehow able to talk Kylo down, while still being hardly nice. Perhaps he preys upon Kylo’s constant need for approval from others, even if he doesn’t like the person in question (this may also be why Kylo reacts so strongly to Finn escaping as well, in fact. He genuinely cares about people’s loyalty, even from literal no-name soldiers). Though I can’t decide whether he’s this deceptively charming snake or basically an evil Spock. I also can’t decide between him being in this constant state of “Why do I have to babysit this manchild” or giving absolutely no visible f*cks around Kylo no matter what happens, or even straight-up trolling him often, toying with his emotions because it amuses him; preferably two or a bit of all somehow? I can see him using having met Vader as a child to mock Kylo for how much of a pale, childish imitation he is, or reminding Kylo of how much better he is as a leader objectively; perhaps that’s what he holds over Kylo’s head. Or him explaining to Kylo how he was raised by less than stellar parenting and tried so hard to live up to his strict father too… So he brutally murdered Brendol in cold blood (possibly with Phasma’s help), became a better admiral than he ever was, and got over it “Like an adult. Unlike you.”. They’d be in this constant state of delicate, tense equality; Kylo can easily overpower Hux if he pisses him off a bit too much, but Hux is able to walk that fine edge seemingly without much effort.

But when he realizes whatever grand cosmic plot he and the entire First Order has been participating in this whole time is when, ironically, there would probably be a really dramatic villainous breakdown from him. It’s kind of a Zuko and Azula situation with Kylo and Hux perhaps? Or is this Hux more a mix of Azula and Zhao’s roles rather?

——

Worldbuilding stuff: Since I’m more a character person, there isn’t much here, but because the worldbuilding was another issue in the movies I’ll also be adding these.

The New Republic isn’t nuked in the first movie. In fact it stays there for the duration of the trilogy and the hero faction is now its armed forces, not The Resistance (Also that name makes no sense. Seriously. At least name them The Peacekeeper Corps or Vigilantes or something, or since they’re basically Leia’s personal military maybe the Organa Free Army or Organa Corps or something of that sort. No wonder people mistakenly call them The Rebels sometimes. It’s a similar setup to Chrom’s Shepherds in Fire Emblem Awakening, albeit with a better relationship with the kingdom; it would be downright strange if the Shepherds called themselves The Resistance despite literally existing with the queen’s permission, and it still is here. Hell, Leia’s Shepherds is a better name). There would be elaboration on the political stuff going on behind the scenes, and if Leia isn’t a Jedi that’s her plotline probably, though a big part of me wants her to be part of the action instead of being stuck on the homeworld.

Meanwhile, The First Order is made up of Imperial Remnants and people and planets who were unsatisfied with the democratic but still new and fragile New Republic. Basically think White Russians if the Soviets weren’t also awful. It happens a lot in history. While it may have some mining planets in its orbit (not literally, you know what I mean) so it can plausibly refurbish anything Kylo wrecks with his tantrums, Starkiller Base is probably a bit much, and a lot of their equipment might be old Imperial or Rebel stuff, or stolen from the New Republic, with new stuff being produced but not in overly high quantity. Some of the equipment deemed less important might even be kind of crappy due to how old they are. They’d probably be at most an equally powerful faction to the Republic, if not smaller than them, seeming more like a terrorist cell. I don’t have much of an idea why Snoke would want to be involved in it yet though.

But while the First Order might be smaller, the New Republic is hindered by it just now finally gaining its footing, and the military previously only having been used for peacekeeping and sniping stray Imperial remnants. Because it’s peacetime, it might have been kept pretty small, and also the military academies are literally not even 30 years old at this point, so new that it’s possible Poe, despite his youth, was one of the earliest graduates; one of the military’s most high-ranking officers is literally a scoundrel with no formal training - even if he is good at his job - it isn’t exactly a well-oiled machine, though its less rigid, casual structure also does benefit it in some aspects. Also the FO can easily use Kylo as intimidation, and its upper staff is nothing if not driven and motivated as well as ruthless. They may engage in more underhanded actions like sabotage and suicide bombers, or rely on small elite units like the Knights of Ren or small companies of troopers, to poke holes in the enemy just as much as open combat. And maybe if all else fails Snoke causes something really bad to happen seemingly out of nowhere.

While I do think that making the baddies an Empire 2.0 is an… uncreative decision, I want to keep Finn’s backstory, plus it fits Kylo’s story too so blah, I kind of have to keep it. Plus I want to do Phasma and Hux justice. Maybe Snoke or whatever it serves turns into a giant Eldritch abomination and have no use for the FO anymore. And again, reactionary forces are a thing that have existed throughout early modern history. But as already mentioned, due to the nature of the First Order’s existence, maybe the Stormtroopers aren’t kidnapped, but they were orphans picked off the streets, and/or some more dedicated Imperial parents gave them their children? I had the idea that Troopers like Finn are “Junior Troopers”, the child slave type, while older members, “Senior Troopers”, would be legit Imperial revanchists and former troopers. Maybe there’s a separate company of Juniors who think they’re cool by fighting for the First Order, but generally Juniors would be the lowest on the social rung, though some might make it into higher positions, and don’t know any other life than what they have now. Though I also like the idea that Finn was part of an elite unit directly connected to Kylo Ren like the 501st, so he has a reason to be particularly hurt by his betrayal (but that could throw a wrench in the whole Finn was a faceless cog in the machine thing). They’re pretty Prussian in command structure; officers work under mission-tactics, but the rank-and-file are machine-like in their discipline, more than even some actual droids. The Republic’s forces also probably engage in mission-tactics a lot, except how far it is acceptable goes way further down the chain of command, so stuff like the Holdo situation doesn’t happen. If that situation were to happen when mission-tactics were to be expected Poe’s independent action would be seen as reasonable. This would have potential for very interesting battles and tactics, though I’d need a lot of help with those because I’m the furthest thing from a tactician you can find (but even I can tell the bomber scene from TLJ was dumb, which should say something).

I kind of realized that it’s possible that the four OT legacy characters may end up basically representing four major aspects of the New Republic; the Jedi (Luke), law and justice (Leia, if she’s a senator), the military (Han, if he’s a general), and economics (Lando). I think some worldbuilding into how the republic functions should be explored through these characters as they move the story forward, except for the Jedi since they’re obviously a central focus, and Luke might very well be introduced after them, and the military will also get focus for obvious reasons, and Poe exists. The information definitely needs to be conveyed as efficiently and organically as possible through the story, because there’s two, likely three, equally important main characters and an unholy amount of secondary characters who aren’t exactly minor.

May write more later idk. I need to be doing other stuff…

41 notes · View notes

punkspacepirate · 4 years

Text

Spoilers ahead, rant incoming

Right. Time for the obligatory full on rant about how unhappy we are with that finale.

First things first, this is not an opinion only shared by crazed Destiel fans disappointed they didn't get to see them making out. This is something for ANY LGBTQA+ person so fucking DONE with queerbaiting and the Bury Your Gays trope. This is for anyone who has watched all of Supernatural (doesn't matter when you joined, as long as you've seen it all) who is so mad at the reversion of the characters to their pilot selves for this finale. Dean, happy to die a hunter's death, moving on from tragedy like it's nothing. Sam, getting a normal life with an SO we don't even SEE! Like, he would have mord issues for anyone other than those who know him best can handle, so can't we at least see who is keeping him sane? This is for anyone Supermad (tm) at these writers for what they've done to a show they've only been with a couple of years. This is for them disrespecting the actors who gave up the best years of their life to a show that kept one of them out of the last two episode, with nothing but a cursory mention, gave one of them a cushy unaddressed life, and had one of them die in a way that looks more at home in a pantomime.

I'm trying to handle these issues one at a time.

Bury Your Gays first. This is never ok. Ever. And its not just death. Search up Damnatio Memoria. It's when people are erased from history. And exactly what happened to Cas? They didn't want to deal with him so much, or that, they sent him to Superhell, specifically for victims of Bury Your Gays. And Dean's feelings aren't dealt with! Is this requited or not? This is Homophobic and Unfair.

Destiel now. It is a love story so unique, so Profound, that if you search up "The Greatest Love Story Ever Told" into Urban Dictionary, they come up. They have a story so beautiful and well written, that it deserved an ending to match. And while Misha put on an amazing performance that rips my heart and steps on it, that doesn't fix that lack of even a reaction line from Dean, let alone a kiss. For a character who in 15x09 was torn up over just the idea of Cas being gone is remarkably okay with him dying. Like, all the other times Cas dies, save the really early ones, Dean has completey broken down, and now he's just chill? Like one mini cry in the moment, then all is well? Cas' feelings aren't mentioned, they aren't shown mourning him, heck he's only actually mentioned like three times after he dies: the death reveal to Jack and Sam, the Lucifer phone call, and the split second heaven mention! #Casdeservedbetter2021

Sam. Poor Sam. Literally, following Dean's ridiculous death (more on that later) Sam has literally no one left. Actually, Eileen could have returned due to Jack intervention, but we don't know, because guess what? THAT'S NOT ADDRESSED EITHER! The guy has no one, and then is shown having a long and happy life? Like, we need to know how the hell that happened.

Dean. Oh Dean, what did they do to you. And Jensen as well. What were they thinking? Not only does that make the top 3 most stupid deaths of all time, but it is just plain insulting. And imagine Jensen having to go along with this ending! It is more than just an insult.

And then as a whole, it is just a big fuck you in the face of, well, everyone who watches this. Like, HEY WRITERS, THERE'S THIS THING CALLED ALREADY EXISTING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAT YOH DON'T HAVE TO EVEN ADD TO, JUST RESPECT!! Like, way to ignore the entire show. Time has passed, this is not Season 1, and we are not happy with this. So no one should let this rest. Shame them for the treatment of the actors, shame them for the treatment of the characters, shame them for the treatment of the LGBTQA+ community, shame them for the treatment of us. Because this is not ok.

#supernatural 15x20 #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #fuck the writers #a lot #casdeservedbetter2020 #Bury your gays is not ok

14 notes · View notes

lillupon · 4 years

Note

So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask.

I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it.

In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.

I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF.

This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.

Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community.

Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.

So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.

As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.

I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.

More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.

When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.

If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.

Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?

When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?

The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.

To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.

Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.

Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)

If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless.

Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.

It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well.

As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.

In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:

Remember we are writing fiction

Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and

Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships

RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags.

Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn…

Some bonus fun facts!

At the time I am writing this, on AO3:

26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E

26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E

29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E

34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E

40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?

#asks #my writing #fic & fandom #I keep coming back to fiddle and add things to this answer #but I think I've said all I wanted to now...

14 notes · View notes

lesdoublesll · 4 years

Note

Hello!! Just wanted to ask, what do you think about Finkeldorf?? Danke ✌️❤️

Such a small question, but such a complicated one ! I have so much things to say about them I love them so much ♥️

First of all, they are much more than a ship, they are their own persons and boi, I love both. So I think I'll answer what I think of the characters, and of the pairing.

The pairing is AMAZING. They've known each other for so long, they trust each other so much : you can just feel Finkel would do anything to please K, but in an absolutely non toxic way despite K being his superior. He is just super supportive and admirative all the time ! K on the other hand looks very protective with his Finkie ahah which is understandable. He is so adorable, just imagining someone like Freddy being hurt must be unbearable (for me it is 😭). And let's be real : having such a supportive, cute, young boyfriend, I wouldn't want to share him and I would protect him at all costs too ! And I think Taika Waititi did a great job convey all of it in the film, without making it too obvious (because at the time you had to hide it) but on the contrary: making it subtle but beautiful. It's the only long term relationship exposed in it, and it's not even pointed out. Its just there because that is how it is. And that's great lgbt representation : that's just life : they aren't treated any different from hetero characters. Being gay isn't their main trait, it's not only there to serve comic purposes, but it is also there for the plot (for captain K's character and for his relationship with Jojo; I will talk about it later ;) )

So yeah I love them, and the film just reminded me of how it was, being bullied for years for being "a lesbian" (which I am not but you know for some ppl bisexuality is hard to understand) "the bisexual slut who wants to have sex with everyone" and all the slut shaming that came with it. It reminded me of how unfair the whole situation was, of how vulnerable I was, it reminded me of why I've been an active lgbt suppoter for years. And you know, I tend to actually forget how cruel can ppl be sometimes, because it's been two years since I am in humanities in prepschool, half of my friends are bi, the other half are gay and lesbian, I am accepted by my family and my friends, and I have a gf. It's almost like everything is perfect and nothing bad happens to us. But it's not true, and as much as it is crucial we enjoy all the good things that happen to us in life, we must remember some lgbt ppl didn't have that chance and some still don't have it. Some lgbt ppl are still harrassed/arrested/killed everywhere in the world in every country. And Finkeldorf just reminded me that I needed not to forget about it. That I should still fight for my rights, for the rights of every single lgbt person.

Oh and a ww2 gay pairing: my historian brain just loved it xD

Ok. Wow that escalated I am sorry x)

As for the characters.

Freddy Finkel. I absolutely love him with all my heart and that's not even because he is portrayed by the best actor alive. (And the most handsome by the way. ) He is so precious. Maybe he is a little dumb (mostly for comic effects x) ) but he wants to do thing good so bad, almost like he is searching for approval. And surely K gives him all the approval he needs and that's awesome (cause K makes him feel like he isn't that stupid). You can also tell how he is always so enthusiastic and cheerful all the time : he is young and he wants to enjoy life ! And that makes perfect sense that he ends up with someone as desillusioned and sarcastic as K. I think K needs that a lot actually x). Must be refreshing and comforting. Finkel is adorable. Just as Alfie said : he ends up in this situation because of wrong circumstances. He surely does not want to be a soldier, and obviously does not want to be any part of the nazi system: he surely is in the army because it was mandatory, or even before it was mandatory because he wanted to be with K. Just as Alfie said : he is just in love. That's all. Just like a lot of regular soldiers, he must go on and do as he is told, so he can survive with the love of his life. Great life eh ?... :( I don't know if he is part of any group of resistance and I would say no for two reasons. 1) Finkel is loud, dumb and awkward. Not a great idea. 2) I am sure K would not want him to be. He would like to handle things on his own and be sure Finkel is safe. And I am sure Finkel would feel bad for it but would agree with him.

I would never call him a bad person.

Ok Klenzendorf now. There are so many things to say. Sam Rockwell first shall we ? Sam Rockwell is amazing in this role. He just fits perfectly. I have watched a lot of movies with him before and I always loved his part the best in those movies. But in Jojo Rabbit. Omg I was like Pikachu on that meme : :O !! I was gagging !!! (Just ask my gf). He was awesome and the character is PERFECT. Far more complex than Finkel of course, because he is a crucial character of the film. (And a fan favorite of course). He isn't black or white. He isn't a nazi, in the sense that he doesn't believe in this ideology at ALL. That's why he doesn't take his job seriously : that's a fucking rebel and you can't tell me I am wrong. He surely is in the army since WW1. So again : it wasn't his direct choice to be in the german army. But we can tell he likes his job : he likes being a soldier, that was a choice he made before Hitler. But he was let down by this system : all the clubs he used to go to were destroyed, he suddenly could go to KZ because he was gay, his boyfriend could go to KZ because of something he would say or do, his eye lost he couldn't even be seen as valuable by this same system...just imagine seeing the Germany you fought for crumble and fall around you. Being someone and then BOOM being nothing to your country. worst : being someone your country doesn't want at all! Yes that's fucking horrible. And in the film there are evidences that he fights against this system that let him down: the fact that he knows Rosie (who is in a group of resistants) and she HITS him and he says nothing ! That's just like the biggest clue : they are in the same group. X) Rosie's bikes and the gestapo scene when he helps Elsa and Jojo and how he saves Jojo at the end. So yeah surely a resistant. And... he can't to anything else. He can't refuse a mission as a soldier : it would make him in danger, and what he does could make FINKEL in danger too. And if you had to obey to save yourself and your lover I know a lot of ppl out there would do the same. He even tries to convince Jojo to stop thinking about jews, he tries to change his mind ! So he is a complex character and he shouldn't even be a controversial character in the first place. Any sane ppl who watch the film and knows its history should think that way. He isn't the best person, but he is a good person, even if he surely loathes himself for the things he has done. I love him so much!!

There :D thx for the ask.

#alfie allen #jojo rabbit #freddy finkel #sam rockwell #captain klenzendorf #finkeldorf #captain k #taika waititi

27 notes · View notes

volturialice · 4 years

Text

Spork Haven chapter 23: salt fucking peter

welcome to spork haven, where I spork the EL James fic you’ve never heard of

previous chapter | next chapter | contents

previously on Spork Haven:

actor!Edward got an outlandish fucking award and became Best Actor!Edward! hotel maid murder witness cello prodigy orphaned ““cajun”” heiress!Bella was his date to the awards show! Ed looked into Emmett’s dark burning eyes and had a Moment! Bella felt dizzy and then went missing! will the Volturi mafia succeed in murdering her? let’s hope so stick around and find out!

warning: this chapter is incredibly long. please check the tags for content warnings—there are a lot! it’s eventful, though, so we’ll give it a pass. but settle in and make yourself comfortable. maybe go get a drink or something. I know I needed a drink after I read this garbage.

chapter 23 opens with Edward attempting to process the fact that Bella has disappeared. he does this in what I have to admit is a pretty seamless fusion of el james’s and stephenie meyer’s trademark styles (negative space here preserved for authenticity):

wow. eat your heart out, New Moon.

once we’ve experienced that bit of totally original typesetting magic, Edward leaps into action!

just kidding. he’s “totally fucking immobilized.” paralyzed with fear, he “stifles a sob” and toys with whether to “wail, scream, and tear his hair out with impotence”

luckily, he’s very good at giving himself pep talks:

this bracing self-administered kick in the pants unfreezes him, allowing him to summon the mental faculties to go get Emmett.

Emmett clears the ladies’ room and calls for backup. He and Edward search the restroom and are joined by a rando Local security guard as they discover—gasp!—a secret second exit to the bathroom (shoutout to the phoenix airport womens’ room, amirite?) leading into a service tunnel.

the Local security guard informs them that the tunnel leads to an alley, but the alley’s only exit is onto Hollywood Boulevard. you know, the street currently clogged with limos, paparazzi, cameras, and fans. idk about y’all but I’m starting to think this kidnap attempt may have been just a tad poorly conceived. why kidnap her at all? they had ample time to kill her, dump her body in the service tunnel, and make their escape unencumbered.

as Ed, Emmett, and Local race down the service tunnel, Emmett radios for Jasper to go around and cut the Bad Guys off in the alley. Edward is the slowest of the bunch

so he quickly falls behind the other two.

he’s trying to catch up when—wait! what’s that on the ground? something...sparkly?

that’s right: he pauses in chasing after Bella and her kidnapper in order to notice “six thousand dollars’ worth of earring” lying on the ground.

then he stops and picks it up.

now, I know what you’re thinking, guys—is he seriously stopping to pick up a lost earring when Bella’s life is in danger?—but keep in mind, these earrings were twelve thousand dollars. also, Edward loves earrings! they make him horny! what else is he supposed to suck on at Bella’s funeral?

I mean, yeah, if your worst fear was that Bella might lose an earring.

what indeed, Edward. what indeed.

imagine for a second that you’re Emmett in this fic. you’re a law enforcement professional racing to protect your charge’s life, bellowing into your walkie for backup, preparing to apprehend an armed and dangerous suspect in an area full of innocent civilians...when suddenly, from somewhere far behind you in the dingy gloom of the service tunnel, you hear the sniveling, British-accented voice of the bitchass manchild celebrity who’s tagging along:

“I’vE fOuNd hEr eArRiNg!”

jesus.

still ahead of Eddie boy, Emmett and Local burst out into the alley, guns drawn. Edward hears gunfire and is terrified for Bella as he finally catches up and arrives at the scene.

this is about where erika’s writing gets...incredibly confusing. and not in a POV, “we’re in the character’s head experiencing the chaos with him in real time” way. more like in a “several dozen drunk blind amputees playing Twister” way. this is my cute way of saying “it’s bad” and “I had to read it four times before it began to make sense.”

in the alley, all is chaos. a gun has just gone off

I’m sorry. salt...peter? saltpeter? did someone shoot off a Ye Olde Civil War Musket? I know fuckall about firearms and even I know they phased that shit out in the fucking 1880s.

and while we’re here, fun trivia fact about saltpeter: in Olden Times, people would ingest saltpeter in order to nuke their sex drives. silly Olden Times! if it’s a bonerkiller you’re after, all you have to do is read this fic!

ok, back to the alley. security are cordoning it off, keeping the “fucking jackal” paparazzi at bay (already?)

the LAPD are arriving (already??)

but perhaps most interestingly,

real quick before we get into whose body it is, why we’re sexually objectifying it, and what it’s oozing, I just wanna draw your attention to the construction of that sentence. the artistry, if you will. below, I have replaced some of the nouns so that we may all appreciate the sheer poetry of the syntax:

“there’s a fucking meatball lying prone on the floor, all covered with cheese, a dark cloud oozing under the meatball.”

sitting a few feet away from the Skirt & Heels Body™ is Jasper, cradling the unconscious Bella. you could be forgiven for thinking that first body (you know, the oozing one) was Bella’s, because that’s what the narration wants you to think. the effect is somehow both enhanced and ruined by the fact that Bella’s actual body is mentioned in the next sentence. erika really tried to have her suspense cake and eat it too, with the result that by the time I finished reading this paragraph, I had absolutely no idea how many bodies there were or who they belonged to, which ones had on a skirt and heels, which ones were oozing, and where.

another excerpt I should probably share is the paragraph where we describe Edward reacting to this tragic pietà.

here’s our text, raw and unedited:

I can’t even begin to list all the ways this paragraph makes me uncomfortable, so I won’t attempt to.

anyway. remember how in the last chapter, there was an incredibly gay bit where Edward looked into Emmett’s dark, burning eyes? fasten your seatbelts because we’re about to blow that bit out of the water.

ｌｕｍｉｎｏｕｓｈａｚｅｌｅｙｅｓ

filled with

𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑒

the next sentence tries to take us back into heterosexual territory with

are we meant to understand that Jasper’s luminous hazel eyes are saying “don’t you just wish it was you getting to cradle Bella’s unconscious, injured body?” yes, that is exactly what we’re meant to understand. this attitude continues as Bella is loaded into an ambulance. at first, Jasper tries to stop Edward from coming, then the paramedic says they can both come but only if they sit on opposite sides of the ambulance like kindergarteners in Time Out.

l o n g i n g l y

the paramedics also checked the other body (you know, the oozing skirt and heels body) and Edward made a startling observation:

though oozing, the mystery person is still alive, and a second ambulance hauls off

and here I was thinking all this story needed to make it complete was some veiled transphobia! what a fun new direction for erika.

once at the hospital, Ed is banished to the waiting room with Emmett, Jasper, and Taylor. the doctors won’t let him see Bella, even when he tells them he’s her fiancé.

hmm. is it just me or is there a movie about this exact scenario?

yep, there are at least two movies about this exact scenario.

after the “fiancé” thing, Edward picks up on some bad vibes from Jasper

interesting. can you feel MY animosity hit you like a brick fucking wall? I guess it’s more of a brick fucking skyscraper at this point.

things we learn at the hospital:

Bella was roofied! so if you voted “poisoned” in the poll, I’m gonna give you this one. congrats on your victory.

Bella is fine now

Jasper shot the mysterious kidnapper in the chest.

that’s right, Jasper is the cause of all the oozing. well done, Jasper. good luminous hazel eye.

finally, Bella wakes up and asks to see Edward. He goes back to see her

and

she

dumps his ass.

not for any Sane People reasons, of course. having decided she’s “too dangerous to be around,” she breaks up with him in a scene straight out of New Moon, complete with “eyes full of tortured pain” and dialogue like

“You are too precious to me. Please. Go.”

Edward spends the whole scene in panicked denial, to the point where he’s practically gaslighting Bella, telling her she’s just been through a traumatic ordeal and she can’t possibly mean what she’s saying.

then he interrupts her mid-breakup

to fucking propose.

🤣🤣🤣 READ THE ROOM, BUDDY. Bella is resolute for the first time in her doormat life, turns down the proposal, and firmly breaks things off with Edward. he returns her earring (you remember, the six thousand dollar earring we paused in the middle of the climactic chase scene to pick up), “inhales her fragrant hair for the last time,” and leaves.

and with that, the chapter is FINALLY over.

possibility.mp3

best “fucks”

“level fucking head”

“a fucking microsecond”

“fucking sirens”

“loud fucking noises”

“enough fucking damage”

“a soothing fucking balm”

“fucking Hale”

“fucking purgatory” (the hospital waiting room)

“pale as fuck” (bella)

“fucking lifeless” (bella)

“non-believing fucking arse” (edward)

“like a fucking idiot” (edward)

best “shits”

next chapter: fucking blinds and curtains

#spork haven #twilight fanfiction #twilight revival #anti e.l. james #long post //#transphobia //#drugs //#guns //#injury //#blood //

20 notes · View notes

sometimesrosy · 5 years

Note

I guess it's hard for me to feel 100% confident in Bellarke endgame because I feel like what has been said during interviews were not hopeful at all. I know viewers should not understand a show with interviews But you can assume actors know their character the best, right ? And that show runners have a deep understanding their characters too ? So why would Eliza say ''C will never be able to love someone the way she loved L/she was the one for her'' or that Jason said Cl*xa were soulmates??

No one is asking you to be 100% confident in bellarke. Watch the show. See what you see. Put the clues together. Enjoy the narrative tension.

If you were 100% confident, then there would be less tension, you would not feel real fear for the characters. But knowing what we know about the 100 and that all the characters are under threat of having their entire life, goals, dreams and loves destroyed, that means we are more attached to the outcome.

This is a narrative technique to make the audience care more. No one ever cares about the red shirts, because we know the red shirts are nothing but plot devices. But to make narrative matters worse, attempting to use red shirts to increase tension means that we never really FEEL tension or worry for our main characters. Because we know that redshirts will pay the price, not Captain Kirk or Spock or the rest of the mains.

In other words. JR WANTS you to be unsure. He’s doing it on purpose. And sometimes it seems like the social media is DESIGNED to cause worry, because the plot itself, the narrative, seems to indicate that Bellarke is assured, is true love, are soulmates. So the only thing they can do to make it uncertain is to say, on social media, “but are they really?” The other thing they can do is make us uncertain of the genre. We see a romance story in Bellarke and romance stories REQUIRE a Happy Ever After Ending or at least a Happy For Now Ending. But The 100 is ALSO a post apocalyptic action story where anyone can die. The subplot of Bellarke seems to be an epic romance, while the main plot of The 100 contraindicates the surety of the happy ending with the possibility of tragedy and loss. Thus we have doubt. Pretty sure that’s intentional.

We can’t be 100% sure about the ending of The 100 until we see the actual ending of The 100 next year and we have to make peace with the fact that WE CAN NOT READ THE FUTURE UNTIL IT IS WRITTEN.

Maybe that’s the problem with fandom. We want what we want and we want it right now, even if getting it right now would ruin it in the long run.

Oh. That is called lack of delayed gratification. Oh, fandom.

As for the social media and interviews, I have to challenge your reading of what you have seen on social media. Because you say that JR said Clarke and Lxa were soulmates, but you ignore the fact that he actually said that Clarke was Lxa’s soulmate, but Lxa was not Clarke’s soulmate. AND he said that Bellarke were soulmates (and then he showed us with season 5 and 6 as canon evidence of it.) So when you only take the JR quote that fills your heart with fear and ignore the part that confirms Bellarke, then your interpretation of the social media is both incomplete and biased. But since it is very hard to find all the various things that have been said in various places at various times, it’s hard to go back and get that more rounded POV. Listen, I may have pulled away from fandom now, but I spent years tracking down all the anti quotes to see what was said and the pro quotes too. None of JR’s quotes are as anti bellarke as the antis would have you believe. They are far more ambiguous and he has said just as many PRO bellarke things as he’s said ambiguous things. And far more pro bellarke things than he’s said pro other ships. But this is ignored by the CLs, the Blorke antis and the anxious bellarkers.

You just can’t ignore the things that dispute your claims, whether in canon or meta commentary. You need to take them into account, whether that means you accept that they dispute your claim or you find a way to have them make sense with your previous theories.

I don’t ignore any of the things I’ve heard, even if someone else claims they are anti bellarke. And even evidence. I search out corroboration. Evidence. Canon. Gossip and meta are not canon nor evidence. Someone’s authority is not enough to dispute canon.

For instance. When Eliza said that Lxa was Clarke’s true love and she would never love that way again, you must take a look at the context of the statement. First, you would have to realize that she said nearly the same thing about Finn after the season where he died. And then you would have to realized that Eliza was speaking as Clarke from the part of canon that had Clarke grieving and actually FEELING that, as an 18 year old suffering a traumatic loss. Also you should remember that Eliza did NOT have access to the future scripts and did NOT know what JR was planning. That was said after season 3. But what did Eliza say after season 4? She actually said that Clarke loved BELLAMY. Yes. She did. and I think she said they were soulmates, too, but I’m not sure. Since season 4 she has never said anything to dispute that Clarke loved Bellamy.

And then, as you look at the CANON (which always takes precedence over cast and crew commentary) you will see that her 2199 calls were directed at the person she loved who never responded. Not her mother. Not Lxa (and let me be clear, if she wanted comfort from her true love who she never heard back from then talking to Lxa would have served the same purpose as talking to Bellamy.) No. She talked to BELLAMY, and it was imagining HIM that kept her alive.

To continue with who Clarke loves in canon, in season 5, Clarke told Madi that yes she loved Lxa, but how she loves Madi surpasses how she loved Lxa. So in canon, Clarke loves Madi more than Lxa. Lxa is not the only love or most loved. As to the difference in love? Absolutely. She will not love anyone the way she loved Lxa. Her love for lxa was desperate and passionate and painful and political and tied up with the life and death of her people. This does not keep her from loving Bellamy as her soulmate, who she needs, who she trusts, who she has faith in, who keeps her sane and keeps her centered. Those are two different types of love. One does not keep the other from happening. Or from being real. This world does not actually DO the concept that you are only allowed one love and after that love dies you are doomed to be alone and incomplete. (witness, for a parallel, Jake and Abby and Kane.)

You cannot say that JR said CL were soulmates so that means Bellarke is in doubt without also then accepting that JR said Bellarke were soulmates so then that means they are confirmed.

How do the two conflicting statements work with the story we’ve seen is the question you should be asking, instead of hearing a doubt inducing statement and then forgetting all the rest of the analysis and canon and subsiding into a frenzy of “the sky is falling! the sky is falling!”

Relax.

Enjoy the story.

Pay attention to the narrative.

Look at the story from different perspectives.

Question the sm comments and theories and hold them up against canon to see how they fit, or don’t fit. When Eliza said L was the one, I remembered her saying F was the one. If there is only one, then how can she say that about two people? Because 18 year olds think that way. And broken hearts think that way too. It’s an unreliable narrator who thinks their momentary feelings are the truth of their entire life. And Eliza only knew what Clarke was feeling then, grief stricken and traumatized. She grew over the course of the rest of the season and if you ignore that, then your analysis is completely off base.

Remember that telling a story that engages us and keeps us guessing and addicted to watching means placing obstacles, doubts and real fears in the path of our favorite characters getting what they want. They are required, but they are not a sign that Bellarke isn’t the story being told. Rather the opposite. If Bellarke’s relationship is CONSTANTLY being challenged, and constantly evolving and developing, then that means Bellarke IS THE STORY.

If there is a romance that is NOT being developed, is not growing, is actually falling apart as the partners find their needs outside of the relationship then that relationship is NOT the story. Or rather, that relationship is not about bringing he characters together, but about whatever is tearing them apart. Whether that is a political dispute or his love for another girl or her independence and identity.

#the 100 #bellarke #stick to the text #understand that everything said outside of canon has a different context and you need to understand the agenda and context to understand

35 notes · View notes

ruthfeiertag · 4 years

Text

Random Ruminations on Depression

Preamble:

I want to take back the word ruminate. The Online Etymology Dictionary explains that the word “ruminate (v.)” dating from the 1530s, means “'to turn over in the mind,’ also ‘to chew cud’ (1540s), from Latin ruminatus, past participle of ruminare ‘to chew the cud; turn over in the mind,' from rumen (genitive ruminis) ‘gullet,’ of uncertain origin.” Merriam-Webster Online Gives the definition of ruminate as

transitive verb

1: to go over in the mind repeatedly and often casually or slowly 2: to chew repeatedly for an extended period

intransitive verb

1: to chew again what has been chewed slightly and swallowed : chew the cud 2: to engage in contemplation : REFLECT

https://pixabay.com/photos/pensive-female-woman-window-staring-580611/

But psychology — and in general I have real respect and genuine gratitude for the healing and support psychology and psychotherapists provide; if I kept a gratitude journal, my therapist’s name would be on every page — has come near to ruining this apt word that perfectly expresses the way many of us need or choose to take the time to ponder and deliberate rather than hasten to judge or get embroiled in the consequences of an ill-considered decision. Psychology, as a field, has decided ruminate should mean obsessively thinking about whatever is bothering one, over and over and over…

I think one of the reasons this definition has become popular, not only among psychologists, but in the general public as well, is that we have such short attention spans and have come to prize speed over all else. We rush to embrace technology that robs us of our privacy, we don’t stay to watch the credits after a movie (unless there’s an added scene), we expect to know the results of every election before the votes are all counted. Take a breath, people. Being ruminative used to be a positive attribute, one that indicated one was a careful, thoughtful person, not inclined to fling one’s self pell-mell off a cliff. Now it is a weakness, a character flaw that indicates one brings one’s misfortunes upon one’s self because one can’t control one’s thoughts.

Join me in my mission. Let’s rescue ruminate. Start using it in its proper sense. Fling it with abandon into your philosophical conversations: “I was ruminating upon the meaning of life the other day and wondering just what 42 really has to do with it.” If someone tries to push you into making a snap decision, say, “You know, in order to give you the thoughtful answer you deserve, I need to ruminate on that for a day or two.” When next asked to describe yourself, pause for a moment, then declare, “I am an attentive, measured sort of person with a ruminative cast to my mind.” (Just don’t tell anyone you’re a ruminant. That will totally undermine our goal.)

And after we save ruminate, we’re coming back for you, enable.

*****************************

Every so often, the New Yorker slips a suggestion for an archived article into the Inbox of my e-mail. That how I came across Andrew Solomon’s article, “Anatomy of Melancholy,” that appeared in New Yorker’s January 12, 1998 issue. It’s a pretty harrowing description of the depths down to which depression can pull person, and of the biases that still pertain when it comes to admitting to others or to ourselves that we have a mental illness and, worse, might be so “weak” as to need chemical (or electrical) interventions. As I moved through the essay, I can upon this proffered bit of wisdom:

Accuracy of perception is not an evolutionary priority. Too optimistic a world view results in foolish risk-taking, but moderate optimism gives you a strong selective advantage. “Normal human thought and perception,“ Shelley Taylor writes in her 1989 book, Positive Illusions, “is marked not by accuracy but by positive self-enhancing illusions about the self, the world, and the future. Moreover…these illusions are not merely characteristic of human thought; they appear actually to be adaptive.” As she notes, “The mildly depressed appear to have more accurate views of themselves, the world, and the future than normal people. [They] clearly lack the illusions that in normal people promote mental health and buffer them against setbacks.”

hulki-okan-tabak-SKadYI4E7OM-unsplash-scaled

So — why are those of us with depression and accurate perceptions the ones who are mentally ill, while the “normies” with their illusions are the ones who are considered sane? Why are we the ones who are seen as less evolved? Am I the only one who thinks this assessment is a little bit off?

************************************

In a recent car commercial, actor and apparent guru Matthew McConaughey ruminates (see how easy it is to just slip the word right into a sentence?) out loud about the process of identity formation. He muses

“Knowin’ who we are is hard — it’s hard. Eliminatin’ who you are are not, first, and you’re gonna find yourself where ya need to be.”

OK: first, shouldn’t the logic of the first sentence — the search for identity — lead to a statement about finding out who one is rather than where one is? I guess that’s what happens when one infuses manufactured sagacity into an advert for a vehicle. And never mind the lack of parallel structure in the second sentence.

But what I keep thinking is, “What if we, as is recommended by Mr. McConaughey, eliminate all the people we are not, only to realize there’s no one left?” That’s kind of who-where I keep finding myself.

*********************************

An ethical dilemma: At the recommendation of a friend, I picked up Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, by Daniel G. Amen. M.D. I haven’t read very far into it, but so far there are some sensible observations about the practicality of having one’s brain scanned for damage so one knows whether medical or psychotherapeutic remedies are most likely to be beneficial. However, on page twenty-nine, our friend the doctor discusses thing that hurt the brain and things that help the brain. Under malign influences, Dr. Amen notes that “even spending time with unhealthy people [is] bad for the brain.” OK: I can see how that can work.

In the next paragraph, Dr. Amen lists things that can boost the brain. This list includes the point that “In many ways, the best thing you can do for your brain is to spend time with healthy people. As we will see, they are contagious. I often say the fastest way to get healthy is to find the healthiest person you can stand and then spend as much time around him or her as possible.” That also makes sense.

BUT — and you may already see the problem here — let’s say I’m a healthy person. I know an unhealthy person, someone with, say, depression, someone who would immensely benefit from spending time with me. Yet if I do spend time with that person, I’ll be engaged in an activity that will be detrimental to my own grey matter. On the other hand, if I choose to protect myself by shunning the depressed person, I’m selfishly depriving her or him of my beneficial “contagion” and preventing that person from attaining the flourishing cerebrum she or he deserves. (Unless, of course, that person has been ruminating. In that case, she or he deserves all the melancholy that infests her or his soul. [That’s an example how NOT to use the word ruminating.]) I’m either allowing harm to come to myself or withholding aid from another, which makes me a pretty lousy human being, and knowing that I’m a pretty lousy human will depress me.

Now let’s imagine that I am the unhealthy person, and I know a tremendously healthy person, in whose salubrious presence I never fail to rally. I have a lot of time on my hands. I easily could spend days with this person and notably sharpen my dulled mental functions and ameliorate my debilitating mood. However, by latching on to this bloom-imparting individual, I will be causing harm to that person’s well-being and will likely disrupt her or his equilibrium. That would make me an insensitive parasite, sucking the life out of someone for my own ends, and being such a draining leech would make me feel horrible and depressed.

So what to do? I hate lose-lose, damned-if-you-do-or-don’t, caught-between- Scylla-and-a-hard-place options.

**********************************

And then Will Wheaton put this up on his Blog:

報復性熬夜

Revenge Bedtime Procrastination, which has a much more beautiful name in Chinese (the literal translation for revenge bedtime procrastination means “suffering through the night vengefully.”), is a phenomena unique to people who feel out of control in their daily lives, so we refuse to go to sleep early, to exert some control over our lives, and to enjoy some quiet time alone, when the rest of our people are sleeping.

I should confess, straight up, that I am, by nature, a night owl. It runs in the family. But I love both this concept and its name. Between the depression and the M.E. and the State of the Union, I’m having an increasingly hard time getting any sleep. I just wish being AWAKE YES I’M AWAKE YES I DO KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS OH ISN’T THAT A LOVELY SUNRISE? would wreak some actual vengeance on the conditions and people who are responsible for my near-insomnia.

*****************************

Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay https://pixabay.com/photos/fantasy-face-branches-woman-3317298/

I hope my ruminations provide some conceptual cud for your synapses, dear reader, to masticate at the pace of your choosing. And don’t forget: enable is still waiting for us to effect an heroic rescue, one worthy of our idiom.

1 note · View note

damaless · 5 years

Text

To All The Skaters I've Loved Before

Chapter Thirty-One: Second Best

Warning: The angst is still running pretty high in this chapter, and they still haven't worked things out by the end of it. If that's going to genuinely upset you then please wait for the next update, which will be soon!

But if you enjoy torturing yourself through the struggles of fictional characters, by all means, read on!

Phichit heads back to his room, leading Yuuri by the hand. Yuuri is shaking badly, and Phichit can’t really blame him. Normally, he’d lean towards confronting a person before jumping to any conclusions, but the conversation they’d overheard had sounded… pretty bad. And the fact that Victor and Chris had gone somewhere secluded to have it didn’t help at all.

He shuffles Yuuri into his room and moves inside, beelining the cupboards in search of a glass. He returns with a glass of water for Yuuri, who is standing just inside the room, looking dazed.

Yuuri takes the glass and lets Phichit guide him to sit on the bed. He blinks, and meets Phichit’s eyes. Phichit sits down beside him, close enough to lean on if that's what Yuuri wants.

“What the fuck was that, Phichit?” he whispers.

Phichit shrugs helplessly, grimacing. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m not being crazy, right? This isn’t just me catastrophizing? I can’t…” Yuuri takes in a shuddering breath. “I can’t think of a good explanation.”

Phichit nudges the bottom of the glass up towards Yuuri’s face, and he takes a sip. “You’re not being crazy,” he says, quietly. “It sounded bad to me, too.”

Yuuri sips at the water mechanically.

Phichit taps a finger against his lips. “Would it help to brainstorm?” He's acted as a sounding board for Yuuri before, where an anxiety-ridden Yuuri spouts whatever ideas come to mind, no matter how outlandish or ridiculous, and Phichit tells him whether they seem reasonable or not. It can help to have access to the perspective of someone whose brain isn't behaving like his own enemy.

At the least, getting him to put everything into words usually helps keep him calm. Well, maybe not calm, but not completely falling apart.

“Was the whole thing just some… fucked up game?” Yuuri runs a hand through his hair. “Like, ‘Look at the idiot who came last at the Grand Prix Final and got shitfaced at the banquet, what sort of fun can we have with him’?”

Phichit hums skeptically. “That theory seems… less sane. That would be, like sociopath-level fuckery.”

Yuuri sighs, and nods. “What if… when I brought up the idea of a real relationship, he jumped on the opportunity to make things more convincing for Chris? And accepting— saying that we were engaged was a final attempt at getting through to him.” His face crumples. “And it worked.”

“Ehhh.” Phichit tilts his head back and forth. “That still seems a little extreme to me. Like, that's super manipulative of him, even if everything had initially come from you.”

Yuuri pulls off his glasses and swipes at his eyes. “Maybe V-Victor was just having fun living in the moment and I took everything too seriously. And he didn’t know how to let me down easy, so he just went along with it?”

Phichit nudges the water again, but Yuuri shakes his head. “I can’t — I feel like I’m going to be sick at any moment.”

He takes the water glass back from Yuuri, who wraps his arms around himself and hunches in on himself.

Phichit thinks back to the interactions he'd witnessed between Victor and Yuuri. “I don't know, Yuuri. Unless Victor is a world class actor, he really did seem to care a lot about you.” He purses his lips. “Even with what we just heard, he was saying something about trying to be fair to you. Would he do that if he was just using you as some boy toy until Chris came to his senses?”

Yuuri rests his elbows on his knees and tangles his hands into his hair. His breaths are coming in harsh gasps.

“I think this one—” Yuuri shudders, radiating misery. “This one seems like it makes actual sense. That I've just… always been second choice, second best. Maybe Chris did reject him in Beijing before I came back to the room. And he was ready to settle for me as a backup plan until—” he covers his mouth, not quite stifling a sob. “Until his first choice became an option again.”

Phichit presses his lips together. Yuuri is right. That does seem plausible.

“I'm so fucking stupid, Phichit,” Yuuri says, pressing his hands over his face. “We've only been together for real for like, a month. Obviously that wouldn't hold up against the possibility of reconciling with his partner of five years.”

Yuuri leans against him, and Phichit puts an arm around him. “Maybe he really thought he was over him,” Phichit says, gently. “Maybe he really did want to move on with you, until Chris approached him, and then he realized.”

“I really love him, Phichit,” Yuuri wails, and Phichit gives his shoulder a squeeze.

Yuuri’s whole body shakes with sobs. Phichit's heart aches for him. To have this happen after finally letting himself be vulnerable with someone… how's Yuuri ever going to get over this?

Phichit's phone buzzes in his pocket, and he maneuvers to retrieve it. It’s a DM on insta — a quick profile check shows it's Yuuri’s sister.

marikat: Victor is texting me asking if I know where Yuuri is

marikat: is he with you?

If Yuuri’s sister is worried, he should probably tell her, so she doesn’t start wondering if he’s dead in a ditch somewhere.

phichit+chu: yeah, he's with me

phichit+chu: but…

phichit+chu: he's not doing super great right now

marikat: because of the competition? what happened?

Yeah… that’s a lot to explain over text. Even over the phone would be difficult.

phichit+chu: long story

phichit+chu: bottom line is i’m not sure about sending Victor this way

marikat: oh…

marikat: maybe you shoulda led with that

marikat: I kinda already told him

Shit. It won’t take long for Victor to figure out where to find them; Yuri Plisetsky had spotted him leaving his room earlier, so Victor could easily just ask him.

marikat: should I head over there? I might be a bit, I’m not at the hotel

marikat: what's your room number?

Maybe it would be good to get the insight of someone who has been living in the same house as Victor and Yuuri this whole time. Phichit’s encounters with Victor have always been brief, but Yuuri’s sister would have a connection of her own with Victor.

She might know what to say to help Yuuri. And if not— Well. It can’t hurt to have another set of willing hands available to help hide a body.

Read the rest of the chapter on Ao3

Read from the beginning

#long post #my writing #my stuff #my fics #victuuri #yuri on ice #to all the skaters i've loved before #to all the boys i've loved before #yoi au #tatbilb au #victor nikiforov #yuuri katsuki #phichit chulanont #angst

7 notes · View notes

anything-advice-blog · 6 years

Text

There's something seriously wrong with me (and my friend.

A little background first. I’ve been verbally and sometimes physically abused by my mother for my whole life. It’ll be so ironic if people here say the abuse contributed to my actions, cause everyone I have ever told didn’t take the abuse seriously and tried to downplay it since it was mostly verbal.

It’s only now occurring to me that this issue started when I was very young. Even when I was 8 years old the pretend play with my animal toys sometimes included torture, death and violence. Some really vivid memories involve a plastic lion torturing and killing an equally plastic fawn and a rat plushie that I stabbed with a needle. It never occurred to me I was doing anything wrong. And at that age I had never been exposed to any media that wasn’t appropriate for my age.

Like every other kid I was scared of PG13 horror movies and had a borderline phobia of human skeletons for most of my early childhood. Then at 10 something really disturbing began to happen. I started having fantasies about fictional characters I made up in my head being tortured via drowning and suffocation. I remember the characters were inspired from the gladiator movies I watched with my grandparents but inspiration for the torture didn’t come from anything I had witnessed. And I didn’t think it was disturbing cause I was young and it didn’t take up so much of my alone time.

At 11 those fantasies had largely dissipated and I of course was less affected by PG 13 horror movies, but another disturbing thing came up. It all started as I was researching something for history homework. With the related results I came upon some articles on Middle Ages torture devices and I read everything there was to read about them because I found it fascinating. I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong because I reasoned it was part of history. Then, through the related results that came with the searches for medieval torture devices, I stumbled into the world of porn. Since it came up as a related search the porn was medieval themed (duh) but also torture themed. They were pics and illustrated comics (not real life people or actors) featuring naked women being tied up, raped and tortured. It was at that moment that I started to suspect I was doing something wrong and that something was wrong with me.

Then at 12 I got my first phone and I was able to browse the internet unsupervised and for longer times. Of course I kept seeing these comics and images and I even went to the websites. On these websites the adds claimed the comics were technically illegal but I don’t know if it’s true. The people on the website forums were atrocious and obviously men who had really sick fantasies about raping women. I often entertained the thought of signing up on one of the websites, going undercover as a guy and asking the men if what they were saying were just fantasies.

And so till the age of 16 I kept seeing these comics, I didn’t masturbate to them (I’ve never masturbated) and I thought the people who did were really disgusting. To me, my behaviour was exactly how someone would be fascinated with horror movies, nothing erotic. Though the fact of the comics being banned still worries me. Then again many horror movies were banned by entire countries…..

From 16 I also regularly checked out a shock website that features many real torture, suicide, crime and execution videos from people like ISIS and drug lords. From what I gather the videos are either submitted directly to the website or they’re quickly snatched from other internet platforms like youtube before they get taken down for their graphic content. The website gets into legal battles constantly and is holding on to the identity of ‘legal’ by a thread. Like the porn websites, the people there are sick. There’s no indication that they get off to the stuff but they are pessimistic, heartless, white supremacist conspiracy theorists with no compassion. Some of them I would say seriously have the potential to be the next mass shooter. And it is at this point that I wonder if I’m the only sane person in the world who’s interested in this stuff? I mean one good thing the website did is give me a better idea of what goes on in the world that the cops don’t release to the public.

At 17 I actually stopped seeing any illustrated porn and moved on to real porn. It took me a while to get over the disgust and even longer to turn on the sound. My tastes in real life porn don’t seem to be anything out of the ordinary, and when I stumble upon something that is clearly rape or abuse it disgusts me.

I’ve never really watched/viewed porn regularly. Sometimes I went months without seeing it and only went back to it when I was bored. Now I’ve decided I want to quit porn because of the amount of damage it does to viewers and participants.

Anyways, my porn preferences never translated into real life. I never wanted to rape or torture anyone.

Within the past year I admitted my ‘interests’ to my best friend who reacted surprisingly well and in turn revealed her own twisted fantasies. She had loving parents but had to undergo many surgeries and hospital stays throughout her life because of a medical condition. She told me when she was only 6 years old she fantasized about herself being raped with surgical instruments on an operating table. She swears she was never sexually or physically abused.

I mean on top of all this I realized I was bisexual within the past year. I’m immune to homophobia coming from religion because I’m an atheist and so it’s the people who actually attempt a scientific discussion that get me down. Like there’s the common idea that messed up childhoods create lgbt people and that most of them have perverted, twisted minds, and even though I never see statistics supporting it, it does make me wonder.

At this point in time I’m paranoid about my search history. Cause I’ve come across all types of porn be it intentional or accidentally. I even searched on illustrated child porn to see if it even was real. Of course when I saw it was real I was disgusted and never searched on it again. I’ve even gone to blogs that people were reporting for pedophilia and bestiality just to see if what people were saying was true. I’m scared that some time in my life I’ll get arrested for this. In fact I’ll never consider telling any of this to a councillor or therapist or help line because I’m scared they’ll be obliged to tell the authorities.

Sometimes I wonder if my lifelong abuse has contributed to this twisted side of me. I hope it has, because if it hasn’t then that means perfectly normal people would have this possibility. I don’t even know how to classify my actions. Twisted? Immoral? Uncommon? A relatively common thing that many people aren’t willing to admit?

More than being scared for myself though I’m scared of what effect the porn I’ve seen is having on other people and impressionable tweens who might not be so rational and sane. I marvel at how the severity of my actions didn’t enter my head until I turned 15. I guess I should be glad that I didn’t turn into a dangerous person.

I think I’m a good person, I know the difference between right and wrong, I have empathy for people and I’m one of the kindest people I know. And ever since I first viewed porn I developed a critical attitude to sex, relationships and porn usage that I still carry with me. I don’t know man, I guess I just want someone to tell me that I’m not the only sane person who has these preferences and experiences.

Hello,

First of all, I want to say that we’re not professionals here so we can’t diagnose or even speculate about whether the abuse you’ve suffered has contributed to this situation. In order to get that type of advice or information, you would have to visit a professional. So let’s tackle that part first. I’m not sure where you live or what the laws are there but for the most part, the basic rule when it comes to psychologists is that everything remains confidential unless you’re a risk to yourself or someone else. Or, if you’re a minor and there is abuse taking place. In this case, you explicitly state that you’re repulsed by the idea of acting on any of these desires or fantasies, meaning that a psychologist wouldn’t have grounds for breaking confidentiality. But again, check the laws specific to where you live. If you do wish to seek help, my best advice to you is to look for someone whose area of expertise is in trauma or sex and meet with them to discuss your needs. If you have to change professionals a few times to find the right one, don’t get discouraged. Sometimes it takes a little trial and error to find the right person.

I can’t really comment on the normalcy of your behaviour or interests because again, I’m not a professional. However, I can say that it’s a good sign that you don’t have any interest in participating in any violent events. Do you search these things out of interest or are you aroused by them? Because those are two very different motivations that can indicate different things. In terms of helping yourself, I would suggest blocking all of the websites that you would normally visit and perhaps even consider turning on the safe search option on your internet to limit the type of things that you can search for. These are just some preliminary steps that you can take but I would highly recommend visiting a professional to seek some help, especially if this is something that you’re concerned about and wish to address.

-Livia

#aab #anything-advice-blog #anything advice blog #advice #advice blog #submission #answered #livia #tw rape #trigger warning rape

3 notes · View notes

evenstevensranked · 7 years

Text

#17: Season 3, Episode 18 - “Stevens’ Manor”

With the house to himself for the weekend, Louis decides to open up a bed and breakfast to afford a snowboarding trip for the gang! What could possibly go wrong?!

I’ve been meaning to tell you guys to ignore any typos in my reviews within the first day or so of them being posted. It takes a few read-throughs for me to catch any/all errors.

That being said...

This episode opens with the subplot. Although, this is yet another one where the subplot and main plot work together super well. I’ve noticed that this is becoming a theme with these higher-ranked episodes. Huummm.

It starts off with Ren spying on Ruby breaking up with some random guy Dexter. Her oh so serious, love of her life boyfriend of 4 days. Sounds about right. This show seriously nails how ridiculous middle school ~relationships~ truly are. Ruby is devastated, so Ren presents the idea of turning their upcoming weekend sleepover into girls night complete with nail polish, magazines and ice cream! Yeeee!

Ruby clearly shocked and offended by Dexter’s decision to end it. We don’t actually hear the conversation, so this exaggerated expression really gets the point across.

It cuts to Louis, Twitty, Tawny, and Tom (who I will refer to as “the gang” from this moment forward) discussing how badly they want to go snowboarding at some lodge. Tawny estimates that it’d cost around $200 per-person, and I mean, what 13-year-olds have that sort of money laying around? I’m a grown adult and I can’t even afford Starbucks on some days. So, yeah. To any sane person, the idea would be totally off the table and seem completely farfetched... But not to Louis Stevens!! He’s all “Oh, it’s no problem” as he runs to answer a call on the school’s payphone, which is the millionth thing that closet space next to the stairs has been used for. The call is from someone looking to book a reservation at Stevens’ Manor. I really hope that payphone has a different number than the school and that Louis didn’t give out Lawrence Jr. High’s number as the contact info for “Stevens’ Manor.” I can’t.

He explains to the gang that Steve and Eileen are going away for their anniversary, Donnie has an away game, and Ren is sleeping at Ruby’s... which means he’s got la casa all to himself. Twitty asks how he’s gonna get his parents to actually let him stay home alone though... and like??? I know that Louis can get a little crazy, but does he really need a freaking babysitter or something? Actually, wait. What am I talking about?! He immediately seized the “home alone” opportunity to turn the house into a bed and breakfast. Here we go again with the give Louis Stevens an inch and he will take 100,000 miles trope, lol. His plan is to fake cry to Eileen about wanting to come with her and Steve and not wanting to stay alone, before deciding to be ~strong~ and stick it out. Steve even calls Louis a “soldier” for it, haha. Okay. Whatever works I guess! I’d like to point out this kinda ugly transition they do of Louis smirking about his plan, to the moment where he’s actually executing it. It’s so weird looking omg.

That morph tho. I guess the editing job isn’t too bad for 2002... but dang, it’s just slightly unsettling to me lol.

I like how this episode basically jumps right into the plot asap! We’re only two minutes in at this point and the BnB transformation is already underway! Eileen and Steve ultimately leave and trust Louis to man the fort of course, and the birth of Stevens’ Manor happens the second they’re out the door -- courtesy of a short montage. Louis must’ve been preparing for this bed and breakfast idea for a long while, just waiting around for the opportunity -- because he has shirts embroidered with a fancy “SM” ready to go for him and his friends to wear! He’s even set up the technology to accept credit cards. Louis Stevens does not play!

The first guests arrive and I’m assuming it’s supposed to be a joke when Louis greets them “Welcome to Stevens’ Manor! You must be the Mannings!” lol. The Mannings are an older couple made up of a “fellow Lou” Louis and his wife Edna. This information is vital for later on. When they’re shown to their room, (which is Louis’ bedroom transformed into the “Lincoln Bedroom” lol) Edna says “This is even cozier than the pictures we saw on the internet!” WOW!!! Louis really did have this planned! He probably whipped out a www.stevensmanor.com domain for this. How did he rearrange and clean his room with enough time to take the photos, post them, and get hits on the website (in 2002, mind you) without his parents noticing though? That stuff took tiiiime back then. Not to mention cleaning that filthy room of his would require the help of a garbage company! Oh, well. That’s an irrelevant detail. I told you he’d been preparing for this moment!

Where did he get that bust of Lincoln (see 2 photos up) and that painting too? I searched out of curiosity and found this near-exact bust which costs $850!!!!! That thing better be some cheap plastic knock off because something tells me Louis somehow spent more money on making the place look legit than he’ll ever make back from it lol.

The next guest is a woman named Mrs. Colepepper. What is up with these writers and throwing the word “pepper” into last names? We already have Ryan Zellpepper and now we’ve got this lady lol. I also just realized that both of these characters are black... not that that means anything at all. It’s just randomly sort of interesting imo.

The last main guests are a pair of twin teenage boys and their parents. Now, Even Stevens is good at not double casting people (a.k.a being weird and having the same actors play two or more different characters throughout the series and hope the audience doesn’t notice) -- But they messed up here and I gotta call it out!! They’re acting like this is the first time we’ve seen these twins, but they actually already made an appearance as LJH students back in Season 2! Their first appearance is literally sooo brief that only a weird superfan like me would notice, but yeah.

The twins in this episode.

The twins in Season 2! We haven’t covered this episode yet so I feel really weird including a screenshot but.. lol.

There’s this short scene where Louis introduces Tawny as the Manor’s “human jukebox” because apparently she’s a piano wiz and knows “all kinds of songs” (Also, where’d Louis get the grand piano?! haha) One of the twins sarcastically asks “Does she know ‘I hate it here, we should’ve gone to Hawaii’?” And Tawny adlibs a song “I hate it here, we should’ve gone to Hawaii, where they say Aloha and roast little piggies!” This one line always gets stuck in my head. Always. I’m tempted to continue writing additional lyrics just to give myself more to sing.

There’s also a fantastic bit here of Tom arguing with Mrs. Colepepper about the pulp in her orange juice. I can’t even explain it, all you have to know is that it’s amazing. Also, Louis tells the twins to check out the “Rec Room” and hands them two ping-pong paddles. They’re like “All you have is a ping-pong table?” and Louis says “Yeah... Well... I never said anything about a table. So.” IT ALWAYS GETS ME! It’s such a small line, but I love it. ALSO Beans is the BnB’s “licensed masseuse.” Right.

At Ren and Ruby’s sleepover, Ruby gets a make up call from Dex and they talk on the phone all giggly for an hour and a half. Ren is fed up and decides to head home. Safe to say Ren was in for a surprise when Mrs. Colepepper was asleep in her bed...

Louis tries to explain the situation to her and of course, Ren is vehemently against it until she sets her eyes on the ~gorgeous~ twins. As they’ve already stated -- The twins hate it there, so she catches them juuust as they’re about to check out. Ren literally referred to these guys by name in S2. They were some weird names like “Mosh and Stosh”?! lol, Smosh. But now she’s acting like it’s the first time she’s ever seen them in her life and it always bothered meeeeee.

Something that kills me about this bit is when their father says “The boys just aren’t happy here. I kinda have to agree with them. Your kiddie pool hardly qualifies as an ‘aquatic center’ so...” -- LOUIS REALLY PUT “AQUATIC CENTER” as a selling point knowing that all he had was a kiddie pool.

Imagine showing up to a BnB where this is the advertised “aquatic center.” I am dying of laughter. First the nonexistent Rec Room, now this. I can just hear Gordon Ramsay ripping this place apart on an episode of Hotel Hell.

Ren immediately tries to persuade the twins to stay for obvious reasons by bribing them with lame board games, but they apparently reciprocate her attraction and decide to stay. The fictional board game they pick to play is The Organ Donor Game (sounds like a fun time???) and it’s so suggestive. Ren says “Ooo! You landed on my kidney. That’s gonna cost ya! No cheating and... Hands off my pancreas” in the most sultry voice ever. Like... WHAT?! The doorbell rings while they’re playing and it’s Ruby coming over to apologize, but she too decides to stay at the Stevens’ once she sees the twins. Wow. I love how a fan is always conveniently there to blow Ruby’s hair dramatically whenever she sees a guy she likes.

It happened the moment she developed a crush on Louis, too. And, uh... Didn’t Ruby JUST GET BACK TOGETHER with Dexter like, an hour ago?

Meanwhile, Beans is giving Louis Manning a massage by walking on his back in hiking boots??? Beans just further solidifying his place as “The Worst” in my heart. Old Louis (which is what I’ll call him now I guess) gets his back thrown out thanks to their wonderful, 8-year-old, obviously not licensed masseuse. This place is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Eileen decides to call home and check in with Louis, which creates one of my favorite situations everrrrrrr in the series. Y’all know I love when shows highlight the comedic side of miscommunication, and this is probably Even Stevens’ best stab at it. Edna is the one who answers Eileen’s call and all hell breaks loose when Eileen asks for Louis. “Louis hurt his back, he’s in a great deal of pain right now.” Edna explains. And Eileen says “You tell him I’ll be there in two hours and that I love him very much!!” Of course, Edna thinks Old Louis is cheating on her with some woman named Eileen and it’s great.

Louis (Stevens lol) overhears the conversation and starts freaking out because how the hell are they gonna get all of the guests out of the house and revert it back to the way it was when it’s only midnight? That’s when Ren gets the brilliant idea (no seriously, it’s brilliant) to set all of the clocks forward to 7am checkout time! Oh my freaking god. Most of the guests have only been asleep for an hour or so, and suddenly they’re being told breakfast is ready. It’s absolutely hilarious! “Skies will be mostly... dark” Ren informs them of the days’ weather, omg.

There’s no way they have enough time to serve everyone a full breakfast, so they shove all the food into a blender and give it to the guests as the “Deluxe Breakfast Combo To-Go!” Seriously, Gordon Ramsay would have a field day with this.

They pretty much scream at the guests to “move it!” and get outta the house at midnight while they’re all still in their pajama’s and disoriented. Even if it was 7am, this is some terrible service. At this point, I’d give Stevens’ Manor a generous zero stars on Yelp.

Amazingly, they get everyone out with enough time to hustle and clean up the house before Steve and Eileen get back! *Whew!* Louis and Ren scramble to explain the whole Enda lady who answered the phone situation and claim that she’s the school nurse. Steve is so confused, “The school nurse made a house call in the middle of the night?!” Honestly, though. Suddenly Edna walks back in the front door “Excuse me, I forgot my umbrella.” Haha. That’s when she and Eileen have their final brush with miscommunication. Eileen is all “Thank you for taking care of Louis!” and Edna says “Well, let me tell you something, Eileen. I have dedicated my entire life to taking care of Louis, so let me give you a little warning... STAY AWAY FROM HIM!”

Steve: “These school nurses are so protective...”

Steve and Eileen decide to head upstairs and go to bed immediately, to Louis and Ren’s relief -- which actually made me realize something... Where do Steve and Eileen sleep?! From what we’ve seen of the upstairs it seems to only have a bathroom and Louis, Ren, and Donnie’s rooms! I’ve never seen space or a door for a third bedroom up there! Omg. Maybe they have a secret bedroom in a hidden attic or something? Hey! They had a giant secret cave underneath their house. It’s possible.

The final minute bit of this episode is great. Steve and Eileen are watching some local news program and Mrs. Colepepper happens to be the host. She shares her experience at Stevens’ Manor and how she’ll never forget it in a strangely positive review segment. The best line is when she says “I don’t normally sleep through the night, but when my head hit the pillow -- the next thing I knew, it was morning!” HAHAHAHA. She makes a point to mention the “hip, young staff” and shows a picture of the gang (see cover photo.) And yeah. Steve blows a gasket.

THE END!

This is a great episode. I mean, really. It’s super memorable, funny, and it’s an awesome episode for the cast as an ensemble. I cracked up countless times writing this review! It definitely gets a lot of “iconic” points for sure. I just personally prefer episodes that have more of a story to them and focus on the characters. As great as this episode is, it’s definitely one of those wacky plots that could only make sense in crazy Season 3. But I gotta give it to them... This is such a wild and elaborate plot, but they somehow make you believe that Louis could’ve actually pulled this off irl. I’m sure there were some impressionable kids out there who entertained the idea of doing something similar themselves, lol. I want y’all to know that #17 isn’t a “bad” spot by any means. I feel like I say this a lot, but at this point in the countdown, everything seriously is pretty much top notch. I’m simply arranging the best of the best in an order I hope is both personal and objective. It’s a difficult line to straddle, believe me.

To top off the review, I’ve added not one -- but two Stevens’ Manor designs to the Redbubble shop!! AYYYYYYYYY! I got carried away. I’m actually really excited about these, haha! Ya can now get the main “Stevens’ Manor” design and the employee logo design printed on whatevaaa you want. Doing these reproductions of things that exist within the shows’ universe is so fun. I’m really trying my best to get as close to the way they appear on screen as I possibly can (with my limited photoshop skillz)

They’re available in the shop now! Yay!

Thanks for reading!!

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Redbubble

3 notes · View notes