#any one has any questions shoot me an ask

[nadianova]

welcome to surprise nadia nova how to make a visual novel tutorial

you want to 100% use ren'py i dont make the rules

its straightforward enough that simply downloading, installing and hitting the "create new project" and spamming through the menu and then opening script.rpy to see the code which will tell you like 70% of what you need to make your first vn. there no need to be afraid just because the word 'code' was mentioned. ren'py's own language is just copy pasting stuff back and forth and inserting your own names and pictures. its nothing like C# or java or whatever languages exist cause i know jackshit about any of that and dont know how to do programming

anyway, inside the main script file, script.rpy, are commented instructions on how to name a character, place a sprite, place a background, and put in text and you can basically make a vn with these things. i can not stress it enough KEEP IT SIMPLE, especially if you're starting out. making things complicated or planning massive projects is just shooting yourself in the foot. better to make 2 minute game than get stuck trying to make a epic masterpiece

writing a story is its own thing. however anyone can write and its better to write a shit story than no story. that way you have something to build on and get more comfy with your own art process. its what me and everyone else who makes vns and any other art or skill or hobby have done too.

if you like what some other vn/manga/anime/story does copy it and smash these inspirations together to make your own thing. save pictures and lines you see that get you inspired if you need inspiration and references for your own story. everything in this world is inspired by other things someone else has made. its not stealing unless you get absurd and download someone elses game and take out half the assets and put them in your own game and pretend you didnt

if you have interest do yourself a favour and make a vn. as far as game development goes its one of the most accessible options out there . ren'py is an amazing engine having all the vn necessities already in place since that allows you to just focus on the story and not have to worry about setting things up yourself and scrambling with advanced code unless you really want to

i know the jam is just ending in the following weeks and depending on when you see this post this might be outdated as hell but my yurijam server is still going and will be going until people simmer out and something new shiny takes their attention. still, its a server an people post gay shit there occasionally even outside of jams so me and many others are helpful and like answering questions to help otehrs make stuff. so i think the best way is to join the server rn and just ask questions in the help channel. better to ask stupid questions than no questions

now go make a visual novel im holding a whip and making those scary crack sounds and aiming just close enough to your feet that youre almost convinced it hit you despite your jumping and dancing and DANCE NOW DANCE MAKE A VISUAL NOVEL DANCE GET TO IT MAKE A VISUAL NOVEL DO IT NOW OR ILL GET YOUR FACE NEXT MAKE A VISUAL NOV-

anyway but for real if you really are interested make a vn cause im holding a whip and making thOSE SCARY CR-

[lipstickchainsaw]

Act 3 mostly left behind the elements of the show that I was most interested in, and had the most to say about, but I do want to talk about episode 7, which was fucking gorgeous and extremely well done.

I've seen people say that the good timeline Ekko and Heimerdinger find themselves in is the result of Vi dying, as if this timeline is a Wonderful Life view to paint Vi as the 'real' jinx, but I don't think this makes sense (for one, I don't think this episode gives us a new perspective on Vi, and Vi isn't the one seeing this, so it isn't giving her a new perspective on herself, either).

No, the point of Ekko's half of this episode is to give him a new perspective on Jinx, by showing him who Powder could have been. Last season, he was the most prominent person to argue that Powder was dead, and that only Jinx remained within the girl he was once friends with. This is not an unreasonable position for him to hold, given that she's killed a bunch of his friends in the Firelights over the course of his resistance to Silco's regime.

But this girl he meets here is not Jinx, and when he sees her, he initially reacts with the same hostility he would to the one from his timeline. Even when he figures out that he's in a different timeline, he isn't able to get over that, to stop projecting the image of Jinx onto this young woman who's done nothing wrong and suddenly sees her boyfriend acting so cold and distant to her.

This culminates in him asking the (really insensitive regardless) question of whether she was the reason Vi died. He has so internalised the view of Powder as Jinx/as a jinx that anything having gone wrong must have been her.

But she shoots back that, really, that's on him way more than it is on her. It's downplayed in season 1, but Ekko is the one behind the inciting incident of the show. To wit, he rips Jayce off, charging him double for the stuff he's buying, and then sends his friends to rob the guy's place, little rascal that he is. It was a fun little prank for a kid to play on some rich idiot who could just bounce back from that anyway, right?

And then everything went horribly wrong! Ekko lost his mentor, his closest friends, one of whom came back different, as his home was turned into a twisted parody of itself, and he had to find himself a sanctuary from which to launch a resistance movement.

We're naturally drawn to compare this Powder and our Jinx, but I think the subtler difference here is between the two Ekkos. It doesn't get a ton of emphasis, but we see from the way the people around him respond to him that this Ekko was very different, too. He hasn't had to grow up way too fast, and take up way too many responsibilities for someone his age. He hasn't become as angry as the Ekko we know, hasn't had cause to rage against the many injustices of a system stacked against him on both sides.

This Ekko is a relaxed, content, brilliant and recognised for it, genius little inventor, with a beautiful girlfriend who loves and supports him in his endeavours, and a wider family looking out for him to prepare him to step into a wider world of great possibility.

The way he conceptualises himself, as a resistance leader, a fighter and a protector, a boy saviour, he isn't ontologically any of these things. He isn't condemned by fate to step into those roles, doesn't become them out of some innate characteristics he just has. He is that way because circumstances forced him to become that.

And the same is true for Powder, for Jinx. She isn't inherently a jinx, regardless of what anyone including she herself may believe. She isn't the manifestation of misfortune for all, and he knows this. When he took her down in S1e7, and Jinx showed the suicidal Powder inside of her, he recognised this, and it's what stopped him from killing her then (even if she tried to blow him up.)

Even in that episode, she confronts him about this, calling him 'the boy saviour' in a tone that's halfway to an accusation. 'Why didn't you save me?' is what she halfway chokes out, where was her saviour (much in the same tone she'd use for herself when announcing herself as 'your big fat hero', because she wasn't able to believe in that concept either)?

Neither of them was able to address the matter then, because Ekko was still reasonably upset about the people she killed, and Jinx was dealing with a lot of complicated feelings she was expressing with violence, but it's his time here, with this Powder that gets him to reconsider.

'I've never seen you give up on anything,' and all that.

It helps that he meets a different Jinx who is, with some effort, willing to let herself be saved without trying to kill the person saving her.

(And not to be too down on our Jinx, Vi's death clearly hit this Powder hard, and she never quite built up the confidence to pursue her own ideas as a result.)

[venomwrites]

CaitVi but involve Jinx?

Spoilers for 2x08

Kind of a followup to Caitlyn cleaning VI up but it's not necessary to read that first

Caitlyn’s body moves without consent as she rides the elevator down. 

She has to do something to make this better. Something for Vi. She has been able to tell herself all kinds of lies with Vi’s absence. Probably with her time before. No, before she just listened to Vi’s bullshit. Because Vi wanted to make he happy. 

There is one thing Vi cares about. 

“I’ll take that,” she says, picking up the tray of food. 

Jinx looks small in the cell. 

Small in the same way Caitlyn saw when they first laid eyes on each other after the flare. She hasn’t since. Caitlyn is intimately familiar with the damage small objects can do. She tells herself she is not fooled by the small, curled up creature who is sobbing into her knees. The stupor that had her listlessly following them has eased. Caitlyn knows this part. Now the grief has dug in its claws. 

Your blood in her veins

Why do you sound like her?

“You sister survived surgery,” she says, unable to listen to the small sounds Jinx is making, “she’s resting.”

“Vi’s alive?” Jinx croaks. 

“Yes,” Caitlyn says. She could throw the food at the door and say nothing more. But she thinks of Vi just laying there and how furious she would be, “she isn’t out of the woods but the doctors don’t think she’s in any immediate danger.”

Jinx wipes at her face messily. Just that movement has Caitlyn jerking back, nearly spilling the water on the tray. She is better than this. Better than the memory of those ultraviolet eyes staring at her from her own bathroom mirror. 

“Did you see her?” Jinx questions. 

For a moment it’s Vi looking back at her from that cell. Where did you get these. Caitlyn tries to remember if they had the same eyes before the Shimmer painted JInx’s that color. But the memory of Vi is replaced by the image of her on the hospital bed and finally back to where Jinx is looking at her suspiciously. 

“Yes,” she says. Annoyance pricks at her, “I am not lying,” she snaps. 

Jinx just keeps staring at her and it is unbearable. Caitlyn drops the tray by the food slot and pushes it forward with her foot. She expects Jinx to grab her but she doesn’t. She just watches every move as Caitlyn nudges the tray forward and steps back. Caitlyn cannot take the gaze and walks over to the elevator. 

“Why did you tell me?” Jinx asks. 

“Vi would want you to know.” 

&&&

Vi crashes in the morning. 

It takes three doctors to stabilize her enough before they rush her to surgery again to cut her back open. Find the bleed. Find the swelling. Find what is making her die and relieve it before it can put her down for good. 

Caitlyn can only watch as they swarm over her. 

She’s powerless. 

“She had another surgery,” she tells Jinx. Jinx’s fingertips pause their listless drawing, “She’s alive.”

“She’s not getting better,” Jinx says. 

“That’s not what the doctors say,” Caitlyn shoots back. Jinx scoffs something that sounds suspiciously like Topsider and Caitlyn sees red, “what would you know?! You haven’t been around!”

Jinx lays her head on her knees and shifts enough to lock eyes with her. Caitlyn hates the appraising look in her eyes. She told everyone Jinx was dangerous. Vi always mentioned how smart she was. The bars of the cell are a cold comfort as Caitlyn gets the distinct impression Jinx is here only because she wants to be. 

“You talkin to me or yourself?” She asks. 

The desire to kill her rears up again and immediately gets overwhelmed by the guilt. Jinx is right. Worse, she knows she is right. Who is she to speak about Vi’s state in any sense but the medical one. It’s not just her new, urgent wounds. It’s her half healed ones too. Infected cuts, a fungal infection, vitamin deficiencies, concerning liver values—Vi has been doing everything but taking care of herself. And that, Caitlyn knows, is her fault. 

“I’m telling you what the doctors have said because Vi would want you to know,” Caitlyn says, trying to reach for the voice that puts obedience into people’s hearts, “That is the only reason I’m here. Not to talk to you.”

Jinx looks as though she is going to say something further. But then she looks back down at the floor. Her fingers resume their drawing. Caitlyn wants to remind her she can have her killed with a snap of her fingers. She has all of the power here. 

But then she thinks of Vi with the paddles pressed to her chest.

She has no power when it really counts. 

&&&&

“You say you were out of your mind when we were walking back,” Jinx says, “were you when you kissed her?”

It’s sometimes the bitterest pill to swallow. She can say she was not in her right mind. Dismiss her actions as those of a woman mad with grief. But she wanted to kiss Vi. She wanted to kiss her for so long. To feel the cut in Vi’s lips against her own, to feel what it felt like to have Vi’s arms around her. Not out of pity but out of desire. And they were, they were around her and then Caitlyn had to go and ruin everything. 

“Do you love her?” 

The words make her freeze. 

Jinx waits until she is crouched in front of the cell with the tray to ask. Vi is alive, healing. Caitlyn tells herself it’s security that drives her down here to deliver the tray. It’s been a hard day so she lets herself have the excuse. 

“Why would I answer that?” Caitlyn demands, “why would I talk about my feelings with you?”

Jinx considers her. 

“You keep coming down here,” she points out, “you didn’t even say if Vi had surgery today.” 

Caitlyn strongly dislikes being called out. But Jinx is not wrong. She does keep coming down here. She doesn’t even tell herself it’s because she’s concerned about someone poisoning Jinx. She barely touches the food except when she’s threatened with force feedings. 

“I want to know if there’s a person in you,” she says. 

“No,” Jinx replies. 

“No?” 

“She chose me,” Jinx says, “you’re trying to figure out why because you hate me.” 

Anger surges through her.

“You destroyed the Undercity and killed my mother! Of course I hate you!” Caitlyn shouts. 

The anger is blinding, but it’s unsatisfied. It doesn’t feel good to shout at this broken creature. She can cling to things like the law and intent all she wants. The fact is if Jinx was from a respectable family in Piltover a judge would call her insane and send her for treatment. 

“I kidnapped you.”

“What?” She looks at her.

“If we’re listing my crimes. I kidnapped you,” she draws on the ground, “I blew up my dad—“ her face tightens, “there are others,” she looks at Caitlyn, “Vi still chose me.” 

She’s back in that temple screaming at Vi. Hitting her. Leaving her. Like everyone leaves her. 

“Yes, alright. I hate that she chose you,” Caitlyn says before she can properly think. Jinx looks at her. Caitlyn doesn’t want to be here confessing things. But Vi is slowly dying up there. And Caitlyn cannot confess to her, “you’ve caused so much pain.”

“But she loves me,” Jinx says, “I was happy when she chose me but then I saw how unhappy she was without you,” Caitlyn feels sick, “she didn’t choose me completely. She chose you too. It just wasn’t enough for you. But she does love you.” 

Caitlyn presses her back against the wall. Somewhere she surely knew what Jinx is saying. Which means she’s right. It wasn’t enough. Vi never chooses anything in half measures and the fact she chose this to try it out—it stings. It feels like a betrayal. It isn’t and Caitlyn hates that she knows that and her heart doesn’t care. 

“Everything she did, she did it for you,” Jinx continues, “that’s what Vi does. She’ll go to the ends of the earth for the people she loves,” her eyes peer at Caitlyn’s through a mess of blue hair, “it’s hard to be loved like that.”

Caitlyn feels her throat go tight but she shoves the feeling back. 

They both know Jinx is right. 

&&&&

“It’s an eating day,” Caitlyn announces as she pushes the tray through the slot. Jinx gives her an annoyed look, “it’s been two days. You know what will happen.”

Jinx sighs and picks up the sandwich. On days when she eats her energy perks back. She’s more talkative, more alert. Caitlyn likes those days because it is much easier to hate her on them. She looks down at the water Jinx has used to paint things. Much to her shock, she recognizes something.

“Is that Jayce’s old studio?”

“No,” Jinx says, “that’s just some guy we robbed,” her brows knit together, “when everything went wrong.”

“When you blew it up!” Caitlyn says. Jinx pauses and for the first time looks intrigued, “I was there!”

“You were?”

“Yes! The door was jammed. We couldn’t open it,” her mind is spinning, “you—Vi was there?” Jinx nods slowly. Caitlyn tries to think back to that hallway. She remembers the sounds of people scrambling and the muttered voices, “I dropped something.”

“So did I,” Jinx laments, “after we heard you.”

“You heard me,” Caitlyn repeats. 

Jinx gives her a halfhearted annoyed look. Caitlyn knows she’s repeating things but she cannot help it. Vi was on the other side of that door. She presses her fingertips to her lips. Tries to imagine what Vi may have looked like at that age. Her stomach twists when she realizes the rocket Jinx fired at her mother was not the only time she tried to blow up someone Caitlyn loved. The familiar anger is acidic in her mouth but it’s more vinegar than bile. 

Because Vi was there too. 

And slowly Caitlyn is realizing that may matter more. 

&&&&

The day Vi starts to wake up is the worst day of Caitlyn’s life. 

She knows it does not happen all at once. It’s a gradual process. But it’s hell. She cannot kick the doctors out. She does not know what to do. She can only watch as they remove tubes and try to cajole a response from Vi. Vi struggles and makes the most horrible sounds that cut through Caitlyn’s defenses. It hurts so much to see she practically flees down to Jinx’s cell. 

“What happened?” Jinx is instantly at the bars.

“She’s waking up,” Caitlyn chokes out. 

“Okay? Why do you look like that?” Jinx questions, “Is she okay?” 

“She’s fine, she’s in pain,” she says. Jinx rolls her eyes like Caitlyn has just said the stupidest thing she’s ever heard. Maybe it is. Vi is always in some kind of pain, “I don’t like seeing her in pain.” 

“Me neither but you look wrecked,” Jinx observes. 

“I—“ Caitlyn stops. Collects herself. Jinx sighs and shakes her head. 

“You’re not going to do anything about it.”

“That’s not true!”

“You think when she wakes up its gonna be sunshine and roses?” She shakes her head, “Vi’s going to yell at you and scare you off. Just don’t hit her this time she’s still healing.” 

“How dare you!” Caitlyn glares. 

“I’m not the one who hit her,” she says. 

Caitlyn can scarcely believe her ears. Jinx has done so much worse. Nearly killed her more times than she can count. Caitlyn knows she has made terrible mistakes but this is different. Surely it is different. They are not comparable. 

You sound like her

 Only one of them flooded the Undercity with drugs. 

You sound like her

Hurt Vi

You sound like her

It’s her blood in your veins!

Caitlyn’s back hits the wall. 

“You sound like her,” the words slip out of her mouth, “that’s why I’m here. You sound like her.”

Jinx moves over and places herself in the corner closest to Caitlyn. It’s only a wall that separates them. In another world perhaps it is her in the cell and Jinx is the one who prevents all of this. Maybe then Vi gets to be happy. 

“You love her, don’t you?”

Caitlyn nods, though she knows Jinx cannot see her. She cannot say those words to her first. No matter how human she has become as they both wait for Vi to wake up. 

“What if she chooses me again?” Jinx asks. 

“I don’t know,” Caitlyn says.

“Will you still love her?”

Caitlyn wishes this was not a real question. Then she feels like a fool for realizing it will always be a facet of whatever it is between them. It is Jinx’s blood flowing through her veins. And Caitlyn has reflected her actions in every scream of grief. They have both brought Vi to this place. 

“Yes,” Caitlyn whispers. 

“What if you mess it up again?” Jinx asks. 

“I’m a Kiramman,” Caitlyn snaps, “we don’t fail.” 

Something sets in Jinx’s eyes. She considers Caitlyn for a long moment and then gets to her feet. 

“I’m not going to talk to you anymore,” Jinx says and walks to the far corner. “Next time you come down here it should be to kill me,” she says. 

&&&

Vi wakes up properly. 

And everything changes. 

[strawwiibernyy]

Drunk Actions, Sober Thoughts - Yang J.

__________________

warnings! alcohol, getting drunk, insecurities, crying.

words: 800+

╰┈➤ When Jungwon sees your drunk self, he takes you to his room to comfort you. However, you suddenly break down crying and asking him strange questions. Between one of them, asking him to kiss you.

__________________

"Y/N, calm down, the others will hear you." Jungwon said, looking back at his bedroom's closed door and then at your face. He hated seeing you like this. Red, puffy eyes as tears ran down like a river.

"Won, why? Why?" You choked on your tears while trying to speak. It was the first time Jungwon saw you this drunk, mostly because you didn't drink. You were an innocent girl. Every time you would go out with him and his members, they would drink beer while you sipped your orange juice.

So why did you drink so much? And what are those words coming out of your mouth? The rest of his members were downstairs in the living room. None knew that you were locked, drunk and crying in Jungwon's room.

"Y/N, I don't understand." He spoke again, sitting down on the floor next to you. He tried to grab your face so you could look him into his eyes, but you shook away from him.

"W-won, I want to ask you a question. But please, answer with honestly." You suddenly said, still your eyes pinned down on your lap. Jungwon moved closer to you, placing his right hand gently over your shoulders.

"What? What do you want to ask me?" You sniffed on your hand, looking up at him. Your lip trembled, making the next words that came out of your mouth barely above a whisper. However, Jungwon heard it. And very clearly.

"Am I pretty?" Jungwon's eyes got wide, taking away his hand from you. A shade of red spread to your cheeks, your eyes looking down again. For a brief moment, a depressing expression crossed your face when Jungwon's hand left your body. It made his heart shatter.

"Y/N, what are you saying? You are beautiful."

"Yes, but there are so much more beautiful women out there. The idols that you work with. They have flawless skin, a skinny body, and perfect facial harmony. I don't have any of them." You broke down again in tears, hiding your face behind your palms.

Jungwon's eyebrows came together at your words. How could you even think for a second that you weren't pretty? For him, you were the most gorgeous woman in the world. And you didn't need surgery, nor diet to look pretty in his eyes.

You were already perfect to him.

"Y/N, you are talking nonsense-"

"I am not and you know it. You would prefer me over some kind of model or the idols you work with?" You moved closer to him, feeling the alcohol hitting you.

"It's not about the outside, but the inside-"

"Then if they weren't bad people, and they were fun and kind like me, would you still prefer me?" Your temper was raising by the minutes passing. You got on your knees, looking down at a confused Jungwon with eager eyes.

You hoped his answer will be you. There was this small hope behind your eyes.

But what are you asking your best friend? The alcohol has seriously destroyed you.

"None can be like you." Jungwon whispered, making your eyes shoot wide. Still, this answer wasn't enough satisfying for you.

"Well, similar to me!" You yelled, forgetting his members were just downstairs.

"I can't understand you, Y/N. I wish you could see yourself from my perspective."

"If you find me so attractive then," You began, sitting back down on the floor. By now, your tears had dried up against your cheeks. The only thought in your mind was Jungwon's lips on yours. How they would feel, how they would move...

"If you find me attractive, then kiss me." You finally said, making Jungwon jump back in shock. He couldn't believe what was happening right now. You must be really drunk to suggest something like that.

However, drunk actions aren't just sober thoughts?

"Y/N, I can't do that-"

"See, you don't want to kiss me!" Jungwon stood up, and you followed behind him. Tears started leaving your eyes again, and Jungwon's heart was slowly breaking into pieces.

"You don't like me." You continued, unable to stop your mouth. "I am ugly, and you know it. If I wasn't, you would kiss me. Yet you went to leave. You know what? I am leaving first! This is your room anyway, ah!"

As you were about to walk past Jungwon, he grabbed you by your shoulders. He brought you close to his body, feeling his warmthless taking over you. Some seconds passed where you both looked each other deep into the eyes. Seconds that felt like years to you.

Before he did the move. He kissed you. He kissed you so sweetly, his lips slowly moving against yours. You were taken aback. At first, you were frozen under his touch. But when you felt his hand pushing your head closer to his lips, you reacted as well.

The kiss was quick, yet memorable. Jungwon could smell the alcohol on your breath, but his mind was occupied by your soft lips to give it too much notice. He took a deep breath before breaking the silence.

"If I didn't like you, would I do this?"

__________________

A/N: Sorry for not updating for a week, but now finals are over! YAYYYYYYY!

© all rights reserved to me — i do not allow anyone to copy, translate, or republish my works. all my stories are purerly fictional.

[thehalftrollscholar]

Something I love about being Roman Catholic, is how much of our faith is expressed through art. We are encouraged to share our faith with paintings, music, sculptures, not because of the iconography, but because we’re filled with so much passion that we have to share it. 

One of the reasons the Vatican is so important, even to non Catholics, is because it’s a huge repository of art, history, and knowledge. A giant art gallery/museum/library.

In Catholic teaching, the very act of creating something is inherently holy. When you create a piece of art or anything that you feel pride, your putting a piece of your faith in it, God and the Holy Ghost are working through you to just show your love, love for your life and your faith.

Now, some faiths teach it as being sinful or disrespectful to create any iconography that is not of Christ, and that’s something that the Catholic faith gets a lot of judgment for.

But when we make paintings and sculptures of saints and of Mary, we’re not doing it out of disrespect to the Lord. When we pray to saints it’s not because we worship them, but because we admire them and wish to recognize those who gave their lives to do God’s work. We are praying to God to help us live like them, when there are certain things we are struggling with.

Music, while obviously important to many faiths and religions, it is especially important to Catholics. Most of our mass is done through song and music. 

This is particularly true for me, as I come from a Polish American family. And I’m only third generation American meaning that my family still practices a lot of traditions brought over from the old country. And old world Catholicism is very much about combining your heritage, your culture, any part of your life with your faith.

And I don’t know if it’s a thing about Polish families, or European families, or just Catholic families, or what. But we love to sing, when I am with my family one of us will just start singing out of the blue, and the whole family will join. Little lullabies or songs that we heard on the radio, or just straight nonsense that we come up with on the spot. 

A part of me thinks this comes from my mother’s family who’s culture is so important to our identity. Because my dad‘s family they don’t really do that. They’re very quiet, very reserved with their emotions. And most of the places I’ve been to in my life most groups of people are similar to that. Meanwhile, most of my mother’s family and other Catholic communities I’ve been to people are very outspoken, fiery, and really want to share not just their faith, but their life, their traditions, their heritage, their passions!

To Roman Catholics, the simplest things contain a shred of divinity in them. Too Babci cooing to the little baby in the crib, making pierogi with your mother in the kitchen, too wandering the woods with your friends and siblings, the old men sitting on the porch, talking back-and-forth about whatever���.

The very act of living, of breathing, of joy, of simply existing right now at this moment…. is holy!

And that is one of the reasons why I, despite my struggles and doubts, will always be Catholic, and proud of it.

[crazybookcat]

Alternate version + lore under the cut

I've had this thing finished for about a month now. Sooo I figured it was time high time for me to properly introduce this boy to you all! His name is Times New Roman or otherwise know as Frak and Merl's hubband.

Ok now with the introduction over on with the actual lore! Roman is from an au I made with my friend @smokbeast called Betatale. (You can see more about Merl, Frak, Roman and a buncha other characters on his blog, go check it out!) As the name says, Roman is meant to be from some sorta beta of Undertale. He sorta had Sans' place in his au, but not entirely, he's def his own thing. He is not a sans, and he is not in any way related to Frak. His family is all dead thank you very much. Much like Sans he only has one hp, but that's due to his lil condition. He was born with an immense amount of magic which his soul and body is way too weak to hold. So he's on perma hardcore mode, one hit one kill. (Well- most of the time ;3) Roman has the power to travel the multiverse. It takes a lot outta him and he isn't able to do it without touching Frak. Mostly because it wouldn't be possible without his other half, but also cuz Roman wouldn't even attempt to go anywhere far without him. (Merl came into their lives after me and Smoki had traumatized these two so much they refuse to not be near eachother pretty much constantly anymore).

Roman is the token 'extrovert' outta him and Frak. On the outside he's very friendly and disarming. Bro will attempt to charm his way into just about anyone's good graces. He jokes and jabbers, easily sliding on the mask of a well adjusted monster. (Something he defiantly is not). Oh also he's 5'0, my boy is short short. Roman's an artist and he tends to sketch the people around him a lot, like some sorta romance movie main character. (His sketchbook mostly consists of Frak and Merl but don't tell them that-) A lotta his quiet time is spent drawing, tinkering with random machines, or talking his beloved's (proverbial) ears off about his latest ideas. I almost forgot to talk about his attacks- how silly of me. Ok so my boy's head is basically a Gaster Blaster, from which he can admit devastating blasts of magic. It's his most dangerous weapon, and something he can easily manage to do with his high levels of magic.

Mostly he just tries to stay outta range so he has time to snipe a hit with his blast attack. Staying out of range often means hiding behind Frak, who he stays very close to in battle. Mostly it's so Roman can lead an enemy into one of Frak's attacks or heal him. Speaking of which! Roman has a kindness/patience soul. He just likes to pretend that his only soul trait is patience because I traumatized him of course. Alrighty, I think I'm done for now- if you read all that I'ma give you the biggest pat on the back. Feel free to send me asks about him! The aus I have with Smoki are seriously my biggest brainrot atm.

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Imagine the Tails Polycule in the death of the sonic the hedgehog game.

Oooh interesting

So, I'm going to interpret as if they (prime!polycule I assume) were inserted into the game to join the main cast, and I'll start with placement first

(Game spoilers ahead)

Shadow, Knuckles, and Sonic all start out being the only person in their respective cars (not including the conductor in this). Since we have 3 foxes to place, I think it's best to just spread them out among these 3 cars (the Saloon, the lounge car, and the conductor's car)

ㅤ

My decided placements are as follows:

Sails – the Saloon car with Knuckles

Nine - the lounge car with Shadow

Mangey - the conductor's car with Sonic and the Conductor

ㅤ

And with that, the following are their roles and brief backstories (to fit with the theme of the murder mystery party):

Sails – Bartender

He's a bartender at the Saloon the town sheriff (Knuckles) frequents. He doesn't particularly have the passion for bartending, but it’s due to his (now passed) elderly boss's getting him this job that saved him from a worse life, so he can't complain too much. His real passion lies in his contraption making, which only his coworkers and the Sheriff knows about. While he tries to be decent at his job and maintan a friendly exterior for the customers, you can occasionally spot him leaning over the bar counter with a bored look on his face. He also enjoys a good riddle.

Nine – Programmer

The programer is married to his job (developing new robots that exist to help vulnerable people). After he happened to win an all expenses paid vacation in the lottery, his boss forced him out of the office to take the vacation in question, and he reluctantly complied. He has a hard time sitting still and relaxing, which results in him often working on something when not on the clock. Because of this, he took his Bits with him on vacation to tinker with. He doesn't like it when his work is interrupted and can be a bit prickly, but he can't suppress his excitement or interest in machines or programs he's never seen. Coincidentally, the only person on the train he recognizes is the locksmith (Shadow), who he shares a bit of a bitter (or bittersweet?) past with.

Mangey – Co-captain

He met the captain (Sonic) in college and the two have been attached at the hip since. While easily mistaken as Captain and assistant (since the co-captain often runs errands for or assists the captain), in truth the co-captain functions both as backup and a support partner. Should the captain have complications, it's up to the co-captain to step into his role, and if the captain needs to make a hard decision or needs assistance with something difficult, the co-captain is who he asks first. They are partners who rely on each other, and good friends.

ㅤ

Now, for the game itself, each of the main characters had a set of movements, other people they talked to, and things they did, so these three would be no different.

At this point I actually started plotting out the movements of each of our 3 additional characters and how they shift the story and add to it. However, once I'd done enough work I'd realized I'd come out of this ask with a full blown au rather than just passing thoughts. As such, so as not to spoil a bunch of major moments in an au I may seriously end up writing for and showing off, I've decided instead to finish off this ask with some notes and tidbits about the au.

ㅤ

Misc Notes:

Nine's Bits are based upon these little guys from Archie Sonic from Silver's future (post sgw):

I couldn't think up a better name and "the bits" is still classic to me, so I made up a random lore reason why they'd be called that in this au. Answer? Professor Von Schlemmer exists in Silver's future in this au, and either Silver accidentally brought some bits back with him once or ended up showing Tails or Nine some of his work. So Nine ended up taking the basic idea from the professor's bits to create his own. Since this is a bit more of a careful situation and Nine isn’t in the business of passing others' ideas off as his own, until he comes up with another name and makes them sufficiently different, his bits are a semi-secret not so secret personal project. Idk it's kind of like how in Prime he used the Chaos Council's power core schematics to create the shatterdrive, if that makes any sense. He claims the title of inventing shatterdrive technology, but he does not hide where he drew inspiration or based his designs from

Nine (and his programmer role) have two bits. One is modeled after Chaos Sonic, and the other is modeled after Alpha Grim Sonic.

The purpose of Nine's bits are essentially to act either as extensions of Chaos Sonic and Alpha Grim Sonic or to be additional bodies the robots can upload themselves into. The former is largely useful for stuff like recon, and the latter is used in the event Nine needs to make his robots more portable for some reason (for example, in this case, he wanted to keep his robots with him during Amy's party, but didn't want them taking up space on the train)

Unless one has the proper tools, only Nine is able to access the memory of his bits (in regards to actually scrolling through their memory logs AND in accessing footage they record). Tails did not bring tools necessary for this on the train with him (especially since he takes his role as detective very seriously). This is important in case, say, the Detective and Barry end up getting ahold of one of the Bits and they happen to maybe have crucial evidence.

Fun fact! The Poet does manage to "finish the job" about the same way as he does in the original game. He is lucky that The Programmer is not in the lounge car during his arrival before and escape after the attempted murder. However, this doesn't mean The Programmer left the room completely empty and unsupervised...

Another fun fact! Rather than getting an interrogation like The Sheriff does in the Saloon Car, the Bartender withholds a special clue he found (that could possibly lead to the murderer). Tails and Barry just have to complete a task for him that involves the Super Monkey Ball arcade machine

The same way Sonic and Mangey's character cards and Sails and Knuckles' specifiy that they have a type of relationship to each other, so, too, do Shadow and Nine's cards.

Excluding Barry, The Co-Captain is the only character to suspect foul play when the Captain is "murdered" during the game. However, this is largely due to the fact that (with how the character movements are structured) the Captain and the Conductor suddenly disappear, leaving the Conductor's car in disarray. It's also a while before the Co-Captain reaches anyone who is aware that Sonic's character was murdered.

Final tidbit...! There are kisses involved. Even if they're ooc for the roles they're playing, with the prime polycule involved I had to work em in! 😂

ㅤ

And with that, I'd love to thank you for the ask, anon! Although it may not have been your intention, I bamboozled myself into getting majorly invested in this little prime polycule au 🥰

[kindlythevoid]

Rewatched The Proposal the other day and have now added it to my list of rom-coms I need to adapt for Rexsoka.

(They are sorely behind in rom-com adaptations on Ao3)

This brings the list up to 11.

I have not written any of them yet.

[dodgebolts]

LOL we definitely imploded alright—the draft date is BRUTAL

[spinoff-antithesis]

[@distinguished-turtle-enjoyer ]

i actually have not stopped thinkin bout your bb!edit like,,,, its so good and scratches my brain right

how long have you been doin edits for? do have any tips for someone, who hypothetically, wants to start doin edits too? what programs do you use? how did you do the cool animated bits?

im so sorry for all the qustions 😭😭 i just think youre very talented and inspirational and i hope you have a good day ^_^

hi firstly oh my gosh you're literally so sweet i am gently shaking you i love you so much /p. secondly, i apologize for the long answer! (it's all under the cut. this got away from me. i'm so sorry apparently i have a lot to say.) (also you're so good about the questions i would constantly be asking one of my professors questions during class to the point where she said i didn't have to go "i have a question" every time i approached her)

i've been editing since 2016! around march/april, i think? loved it so much i went into film & video production in college as a major so i could do editing for a living. (i have done more motion graphics for my classmates than i have done edits outside of class assignments, BUT!)

the program i use is after effects - i started learning it when covid first hit the united states because i had nothing better to do with my time (other than music theory but i failed that bc my professor focused more on the history aspects than the actual theory soooo) and my ipad kept giving me the "no more storage" whenever i tried to use videostar lmao. (vs has, apparently, gotten a LOT of good updates, so if you're looking to start editing and have an ios system, i'd look into it! only downside is you have to pay for some of the cool stuff).

also the program i use for masking (i think i explain this later dwdw) is superimpose. i've been using it since 2014 and it's SO nice bc i can use my fingers to erase backgrounds & stuff instead of hoping i can get it to work correctly in ae or photoshop (photoshop my DETESTED i'll use it but i'll complain the entire time).

for people who want to start editing: tutorials on how your program works and how to do specific transitions are gonna be your best friend when you're first figuring things out! i forced a friend to literally walk me through how after effects worked when i was first figuring it out, and when i had swapped to videostar back in 2017/2018(?) i had watched a Lot of tutorials. that and played around a lot and figured things out on my own - which is also always a good way to start!! it's also totally valid to look at other people's edits for inspiration - most editors don't really care, as long as you don't flat-out remake their edit (some people don't like that!). i have a style insp folder on instagram where i save edits that i like so if i need transition ideas or i'm doing a different style, i can look there for inspiration. at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun with it that's all that matters!

also, starting simple is always okay!! my edits for a year were just me slapping gifs & video segments together on a timeline in cute cut pro bc imovie didn't load them lol & it'd crash every time i breathed. ++ it never hurts to ask people for feedback/constructive(!!!) criticism/etc! (also not to sound like everyone else but practice? good. it's so good. if i showed my 14/15y/o self some of the edits i can make now they would've passed out on the spot bc i was still trying to figure out transitions back then. programs can also sometimes make a difference in edits, but usually it's not super noticeable until you start getting to the Complicated Shit.)

a lot of popular programs i've seen are ones like video star (ios only), alight motion (android only), after effects (i recommend 🏴‍☠️ing it tbh, i only use it legally bc i had to use adobe programs for school), capcut, and i think some people still use sony vegas pro & maybe cute cut pro (i've heard it may have actually gotten better since i last used it in 2018)? i have no idea. programs also depend on whatever device you're using to edit on! since i've been using my laptop, i'm able to use after effects (it's computer-only), but when i used my phone/ipad to edit i used ccp & vs.

for the animation - it's a lot of cutting up the image and masking! more complex animations, like the one i had of leo walking down that red 'hallway' have several different layers that have been masked. (i removed the background & filled in the spot where leo originally was in two different apps - superimpose (taking leo out) & photoshop (filling in the bg)) in after effects, the way i've done this was mask out the specific thing i wanted to move (like an eye) and then put that mask on what i've called a "base" (not animated), and then stick a solid behind the base to match the color of the object. (some of my layers are not named appropriately; base 2 is the left arm & the four "SIX_[...]" layers are the mask/bandana tails)

an example of this would be for any of the eye blink animations i did! this (above) is the same shot, with and without the eye - since it's masked out and i have the background solid behind it, it doesn't look too unnatural/have a black outline/mass where his eye should be.

what it looks like without the solid layer behind it ^ (the red lines are from the null layers - ignore that)

this is what my timeline looks like if it's a more simplistic animation - the only five things being animated here are leo & raph's eyes. (there's only this many layers bc it's two characters in one shot & i was also animating their pupils - typically, an eye-blink animation is about 4-6 layers for me (solid, base, mask, & null to animate with, 6 if i'm animating both eyes & 4 if just one))

in after effects, there's this really cool tool called the puppet pin that one of my friends (lovingly) yelled at me for not knowing about - which. yeah fair she wasn't wrong it's SUPER useful in animating, provided you chop up your image first. if you don't it's a mess.

(separated by layer vs i should've really put the mask tails & leo's head on separate layers and didn't bc that was the 2nd to last animation i had to do and i was losing my mind bc i wanted to be done with the edit lmao)

the way people animate depends all on their style (there's two common ways to do blinking animation - having the anchor point at the bottom of the eye, or the middle of it) and the program they use. it's been a while, but i could probably tell you how to do some basic animations on videostar still even though i've been doing them in after effects for about 2-3years now. ALSO the best way to have an animation be noticeable is to over-exaggerate it/make them Big - which, yes, can mean 'breaking bones' and having the limbs be a little wonky at the start. (if you want it to be realistic though go Just to the point where it looks uncomfortable lmao)

uhm. again i am so sorry that this is so long i THINK this is everything? if not: my inbox/dms are always open if you ever want to ask more questions, wanna follow up on something, etc etc!! (also if you ever start editing please send me your edits!!! i'd love to see them <3)

[applejarjar]

Shitstorm of a day

[shegetsburned]

tw. age gap

✰ you swear there’s nothing going on between you and your co-star kento nanami to every fan or interviewer that dare ask the question. after many years of working together, there have been speculations of a secret relationship between the two of you and fans are dying to know the truth.

you swear there’s nothing between you and co-star!nanami who’s ten years older than you and has starred in many films as your love interest. your audience describe your chemistry as unmatched, on and off camera. you are the people’s favorite couple and, unfortunately, your actions never contradict the allegations.

you swear there’s nothing between you and co-star!nanami, but, every time you two appear in an interview together, there are hundreds of edits of the way kento looks at you. his attentive gaze makes you flutter. he always seems interested in what you’re saying and never cuts you off. even when he’s alone, he finds subjects and ways to mention your name and express how grateful he is to have the privilege of working with you.

you swear there’s nothing between you and co-star!nanami, but every time you feel overwhelmed and stressed on the carpet or any major events, he reaches for your hand, letting you hold onto his arm as you both walk side by side. only with a look, he understands and goes to your side, helping you calm down without a word. his presence is always enough to make you feel better.

you swear there’s nothing between you and co-star!nanami, but his first thought is always to find you. whether he’s on set or at premieres, he asks other actors if they’ve seen you. even when he’s being interviewed, he ends the conversation by jokingly telling the audience that he needs to find you or he won’t be able to go through the whole night.

you swear there’s nothing between you and co-star!nanami, but when it’s time to film your sex scenes, he’s always there to reassure you. the age gap did not help, at first, but his gentle touch and the way he led and handled you in a soft-spoken voice never failed to put your mind at ease and helped you to shoot almost effortlessly the most stunning performance of the movie.

“no one is present but you and me, sweetheart. take your time, i’ll help you get into it.”

you swear there’s nothing between you and co-star!nanami, but when he won his first award, he firstly thanked you and went on and on about how wonderful of an actress you were and how formidable it was to work on this masterpiece with you. the camera zoomed on your flustered face as you exchanged adoring looks with the man on stage.

but, no— you swear there’s nothing between you and kento. you swear your fans are not onto something and it’s only their imaginations running wild. but, between two scenes, when you can’t help but stare at the perfectly sculpted man who’s standing two feet away from you, who’s so well-spoken, compassionate, courteous and kindhearted, god, you really wish something was going on, between you and your co-star kento nanami.

© shegetsburned 2024 please do not repost/edit/or claim my writing as your own.

[imjustheretotrytohelp]

I ask myself the following question: why is it so difficult to get your attention on Mahmoud's (@mahmoudjumaa1238) campaign? Is it because you do not realize the constant danger he is in? Is it because he doesn’t share every detail of his life? Is it because he does not post any photos of himself? So you would think he is safe, but he is not! 

Heavy shootings 2 days ago, 4 people killed in a strike 3 days ago, a school was shelled 8 days ago... That's only a fraction of every attack by the IOF on the Nuseirat refugee camp where Mahmoud is. There are mass massacres happening every week and he is close to it! Let me remind you of the Nuseirat massacre, where the IOF disguised as aid workers infiltrated the camp and killed 274 people and injured 700 more? 

What gets to me the most is he could have not been under all this danger. He started his campaign in MARCH, had to reduce his goal 2 times because of the lack of donations and it took him months to just get to €10k. Meanwhile the border was closed and he is now stuck in a constant warzone with inflated prices and diseases spreading around. If people actually paid attention to his fundraiser from the start, took to heart the many tweets he made (almost daily) to share his campaign, he would've had enough funds to evacuate Gaza months ago. He would be in a safer place!

Please stop ignoring him and donate to him so he can purchase basic necessities that are essential for his survival. Mahmoud has lost a lot, including his best friend who has been martyred 10 days ago! We can't keep him waiting like this, losing his loved ones one by one. How much does he have to go through before people start realizing they need to help him, if they ever will?

Support him by donating here

(vetted by @gazafunds)

[rileyslibrary]

You burst into the office and slam the door behind you. Ghost jumps from his seat and looks up from the paperwork he’s been filling out. His eyes widen as you sprint towards him.

“What the f-”

“Just play along,” you interject, dragging a chair and plopping down. You grab two sheets of paper from the pile next to him and snatch the first pen within reach.

He keeps staring at you dumbfounded before managing to utter something.

“Can you at least-”

“Nope,” you cut him off while focusing on the papers and nibbling on the pen. “No, can’t do. You need to trust me on this one.”

“Define what ‘this one’ is.” He demands.

“Shhhh,” you hush him, waving your hand dismissively and glancing over your shoulder at the door. “He’s coming.”

“Who’s com-”

The door swings open, and footsteps approach. They settle beside you, and a hand slams on the desk. Ghost looks at the hand, then upward.

“Captain,” he says. “What brings you in-”

“For the love of everything you hold dear, Simon, you better not be involved in any of this,” Price warns. He slams his hand on the desk again and looks at you. “Why were you running away from me?” He asks.

You stare at him with furrowed eyebrows before removing the pen from your mouth.

“I wasn’t running away from you, sir,” you reply, pointing the pen at Ghost. “I was late for my meeting with the lieutenant.”

Price turns towards Ghost, seeking for an appropriate answer. The lieutenant sits up straight on his chair, clasps his hands together and motions with his head towards you.

“Very punctual, this one.” He says.

“Cut the crap, Simon,” Price orders and turns to you. “What were you doing inside Bravo Unit’s barracks last night?”

“Bravo Unit has barracks?” You ask Ghost. He shoots you a side-eye and raises one eyebrow.

“Stop playing dump and answer the question,” Price warns and points at Ghost. “And don’t look at him—he’s not covering for you this time.”

“How about you start from the beginning, boss,” Ghost interjects. “What happened?”

“Someone broke into Bravo Unit’s barracks last night and stole every inch of toilet paper they had,” Price says, looking at you, then turning to Ghost. “And not just toilet paper, mind you! Kitchen rolls and tissues are gone as well.”

“Tsk tsk tsk,” Ghost murmurs, shaking his head. “Such an inconvenience.”

“Inconvenience, Simon?” Price whispers, leaning on the desk. “The entirety of Bravo Unit had to wipe their ass with parchment paper this morning.”

Ghost brings his hand to his face and pinches the bridge of his nose. He lowers his head and takes deep, laboured breaths. Price is already fuming, so you decide to intervene.

“I was never inside Bravo Unit’s barracks, sir,” You state. “I just happened to walk through it once.”

“Oh, I see, I see—you walked through it once,” Price repeats, nodding. He removes something from his pocket and slams it on the desk.

“The instigator left this behind,” he states, looking back and forth between the two of you.

You and Ghost look at the garment on the desk—it’s a skull balaclava that once belonged to the lieutenant. He gave it to you last Winter since your ears and nose tend to get cold during patrol.

“Now,” Price states, “would you care to brief me on who this belongs to?”

“Hm,” you murmur, setting the pen and papers on the desk. You pick up the mask and start examining it. You look at Ghost, who stares at the mask with his eyeballs threatening to pop out of his face. He shoots you a deathly stare, and you redirect your attention to Price.

“That looks like it must be the lieutenant’s,” you reply, lifting the balaclava next to Ghost’s masked face. “With the skull and all—it’s a perfect match, actually.”

You both turn to Ghost, whose expression has transformed from utter disbelief to an inexplicable calmness.

“Indeed, that looks exactly like the one I lost,” Ghost confirms, taking the mask from you.

“Is it now?” Price asks in a high-pitched voice, tilting his head to the side. “Do me a favour and smell it for me, Riley.”

Ghost does exactly as he’s told. He brings the mask close to his nose, sniffs it, and nods. “Yup,” he confirms. “Smells exactly like me, too.”

Price sighs, takes a bottle from the pocket of his cargo pants and slams it on the desk. “So you want me to believe you use ‘Magnolia Blossom with Moroccan oil’ as a shampoo?” he asks.

“I’ve got dry hair.” Ghost shrugs.

“You should try coconut oil instead,” you suggest to Ghost, “it’s cheaper.”

Price kicks the chair next to you, and you both turn to look at him. He presses his lips together, and a red flush creeps on his neck, threatening to reach his head. He opens his mouth to say something, but you stop him.

“Why did you go through peoples’ stuff without their permission, sir?”

“Oh, I wasn’t going through anyone’s stuff,” Price explains. “You just were dumb enough to ditch the balaclava right behind the barracks. The detection dog picked up on the smell and led us to your stuff—it was a perfect match, just like you said.”

“You had sniffer dogs involved in this?” Ghost asks.

“I had to.” Price replies. “Pair the parchment paper with a day full of training, and Bravo Unit developed the worst rash they had since wearing diapers.”

A chuckle escapes Ghost, and he tries to silence it with his hand. He takes quick gasps of air, and you try to retain your laughter, too.

“Please tell me you’re not laughing!” Price shouts.

“No, boss,” Ghost says and wipes his tears, “It’s just so-”

“-sad,” you say and wipe your eyes as well. “It’s so sad.”

Price looks at you, then at the lieutenant. Now defeated, he sighs and throws his head back, shutting his eyes.

“I’m done with both of you.” He says, lifting his arms and dropping them to his sides. “I expect all toilet papers to be returned today. And as for you, you are responsible for cleaning Bravo’s toilets for the entire month.”

“For the whole month?!” You shout and wince at the idea.

“Be glad I didn’t make you wipe their asses as well.” He shouts as he walks to the door and slams it behind him.

Ghost recovers from the laugh and directs his attention to you. He tries to be serious but his teary eyes betray him.

“That was a hazardous operation you did back there,” he says.

“I didn’t do anything.” You reply, still vouching for your innocence. “But whoever did it taught Bravo Unit not to mess with our thermostats again.”

Ghost shakes his head. “I just happened to walk through the barracks once,” he says, repeating your earlier statement. “What were you thinking? Who walks through barracks?”

“I don’t know,” you reply, shrugging. “Ghosts would be my guess.”

[poguehearted77]

Just Another Cliché

Summary: Rafe has been asking to take you out for years and you always shoot him down, but after a particularly bad day, you decide things can't get much worse.

<<Here's some fluffy angst for those who need it>>

Shitty was an understatement for the day you had. This day will go down in history as the worst day any soul has ever lived through.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." The murmur is bitter on your tongue as you stuff your hands deeper into your warm pockets. The breath of your words were visible in the crisp winter air as you were about to pass by Rafe Cameron who waited patiently outside of your apartment building with a single rose just like he always did.

Since your senior year of high school, every year on the fourteenth of February, he would wait outside your complex, asking you out, then you say no, then he goes home. That's the tradition.

Well, technically you never said no. You'd always make up some excuse. 'I don't have time for a relationship right now' or 'Now's a bad time' are just a few of the examples you've used over the last five years.

It's not that there was anything wrong with him. You actually did find him attractive. Aside from the sketchy reputation he had going for him back in high school, he was still a relatively nice guy.

You just didn't have the time for a relationship, or at least you didn't before.

A small smile forms on his face as he sees you, already knowing what to expect. Another excuse like "Fine," yup, just as he thought- Wait.

"Say that again?" His head shakes in disbelief, blue eyes bulging slightly. Your shoulders shrug under your heavy-duty winter jacket. "My car was towed, then I lost my job, so why not lose my dignity too? Let's go out." You say and his heart begins to bounce off the confines of his ribs.

Not sure if it was the frosty air nipping at his cheeks or his lifetime wish finally unwrapping before his eyes, his cheeks flushed and he blinked a few times. "You won't regret this, I promise." he holds out the rose for you to take, and you finally do. For the first time in five years. You bite back a scoff, not in the mood for empty promises.

"Why haven't you given up yet?" You ask and now he places his hands in his pockets as a chilling breeze sweeps past you. He's rocking back on his heels slightly, "Life's too short to give up." The tiny smile on his face does make you scoff this time but he moves past it, "I'll text you later," is the last thing he says before he walks off.

You look down at the rose, then at his shrinking figure as he heads for the distance. A little pep in his step and you shook your head, immediately regretting your decision.

Great, this is exactly what you needed, another cliché.

-

Just another cliché is exactly what it was. On the lowest day of your life, you finally gave Rafe a chance. Of course, he changes your life in ways you couldn't imagine and leaves you with a dead weight of regret for not giving in sooner.

Your first date wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it was fun. The two of you were inexperienced skaters failing to skate in the middle of the town square during the heart of winter. With festive lights outlining the rink where you laughed every time one of you fell.

There was even a point in time when you'd both embraced the cold connection with the ice floor and had a deep conversation on the sidelines, watching the other skaters circle the rink.

"Why me?" The question slips out before you can catch it and he licks his lips. He anticipated the query would arise eventually. "You remember that party Hailey Vanderbilt threw back in senior year?"

You hum with a nod, that was a party you'll never forget. Pool toys ended up in the trees, broken windows, jello in the hot tub, fights in the front yard and gambling in the back. "You and a few of the girls were playing truth or dare and they had dared you to start a rumour that I'd shaved my head because my family had joined some cult or some shit."

It took you a second, but the memory came back to you. "You don't know this, but I was fucking wasted behind the couch, but I'll never forget the way you stood up for me to them and refused to do it, and I dunno, I jus' think that was really cool of you." His head turns to you, his gaze softening when he looks at you.

At that moment, you felt the butterflies flap around in your stomach for the first time. He clears his throat, expression becoming more sombre as he continues. "My mom," He starts, taking a difficult swallow to get the words out.

"She was really sick. I got caught up with the wrong crowd to deal with it. Doing anything people said would get me distracted, even for a little, but she got worse and me being high every day didn't help so I quit. Her chemo was taking everything from her and eventually, she just shaved it off, she hated looking in the mirror and it killed me."

Your chest tightened at the story, having a sneaking suspicion of where this was going, "So when you shaved your head..." You trail off and Rafe nods along, turning away from you as a stray tear falls. "It was for her. You sticking up for me meant so much more than you know."

So there you both sat, on the ice with your backs against the wall in silence while the faint Christmas music chimed in the background. The date had taken a sad turn but you're glad it did, it sparked the beginning of your forever-evolving bond.

That was only the first date of many. Dozens and dozens of dates had flown past you and with each one you hated yourself a little more for letting him stand outside of your complex for five years rather than invite him inside.

"This is a nice place." He compliments as he takes a look around before settling himself on the couch with you beside him. "Thanks, it used to be a lot nicer when I could afford it. Had to sell some stuff to keep it after I lost my job."

He chuckles, "That explains why we're facing a blank wall and no television." and you pinch him. "Sacrifices had to be made. Who needs a TV anyways when there's so many other things we could do to keep ourselves busy." Your wandering hand gently runs down his firm thigh and you can feel the muscles in his leg tighten.

This was unchartered territory for you. You'd been dating for almost three months now and have never been intimate in that way, but Rafe knew the kind of person you were. A perfectionist, you need to be sure of everything before you try it.

Based on how fervently you were currently kissing along the length of his neck he could assume he had a pretty good idea of where your head was at. "Baby, baby--" He struggles to keep you at bay so he can lock eyes with you. "Are you sure about this? We don't have-" You silence him with the passionate attack of your lips against his.

Nearly tackling him onto his back, your hips straddling his as you demonstrated your certainty to him.

-

The months went on and sleepovers became more frequent. Even when Rafe had that tired look in his eye which was more often these days, you kept him up with your bright eyes and wide smile as you explained to him the newest conspiracy that intrigued you.

He tried his best to listen to what you were saying but he'd often lose himself in the labyrinth of his own mind. You were just so cute when you were talking about what you were passionate about. Especially when you wore the glasses you cursed so much, opting for contacts during the day.

"Why don't you wear your glasses more often?" He asks and you frown, "Rafee, did you hear anything I just said?" He nods, "Of course I did. I heard every last word.... up until about five minutes ago." You whine and he hugs you tight as an apology, placing a sweet kiss on your forehead.

You couldn't stay mad at him. That was proven time and time again when even your biggest fights would be resolved within 24 hours. Rafe insisted on talking things out, no matter how hurt the both of you may feel. He never wanted to go to sleep without making things right. "Life's too short," He would say.

You both had your shortcomings, but that goes without saying. Rafe was short-tempered and you were stubborn, a bad combination for an opinionated conversation. Things can quickly spiral out of control but when it came to apologies, Rafe outdid you every time. Flowers, or a small gift to show his feelings.

Even now, as Rafe leant against your kitchen island as you transferred the flowers he'd gifted you 'just because'. A weak smile graced his lips as he noted the way you did everything with such intensity, putting your all into everything you did.

Leaning forward onto his crossed forearms he watches you. "You're staring, babe." You say and he can only hum. "Can't help it. I like what I see," His words elicit a soft warmth to radiate in your chest.

"I love you, y'know that?" You're startled as you feel his arms wrapping around your waist from behind. "You tell me only every day, Rafe." He comes down to peck your cheek before you're rotating in his hold to face him. "But I love you too." You're unable to contain your smile as you say it.

It wasn't the first time but every time the words left your mouth, it gave you a little bubbly feeling. Security blossomed within you anytime your eyes grazed over his features.

"Let's go out tonight, yeah? Let's go dancing." Rafe declares without thinking and you laugh, tilting your head to look at the time over the stove. "It's almost midnight, nothing's open at this hour." You reason, but he doesn't back down.

Holding you by the hand, he twirls you. "Not a problem, we'll just do it here." That night your apartment was filled with laughter and soft jazz. Rafe hardly ever had this much energy so late but you loved it.

Two days after that night of dancing, you woke up to an eerie silence that felt too heavy for the morning. You went about your routine, still buoyed by the memory of Rafe's laughter filling your apartment. You checked your phone—just the usual notifications, a missed call from an unknown number, and a message from Sarah that simply said, "Call me."

You barely had time to press dial before she picked up, her voice trembling. She tried to speak, but only the sound of soft, choked sobs came through. Finally, she managed, "I’m so sorry…"

The words hit you, but you didn’t understand them. You wanted her to stop, to say something else—anything else. She kept speaking, her words blurred and distant, as though you were underwater, drowning. Somewhere in her explanation, you heard the words, "peacefully… in his sleep." But it didn’t feel peaceful. Your mind raced, demanding answers. Why hadn’t he told you? How long had he known?

Over the days that followed, Rafe's family gently filled in the pieces: he’d been sick for years, silently enduring, doing everything he could to hide it. Every date, every moment spent laughing with you, was a deliberate choice he made to live his last days fully, in love and joy, with you.

He hadn’t wanted you to know because he couldn't bear to see you suffer for him the same way he was once familiar with in his senior year. Even in the end, he kept the truth locked away, shielding you from the loss he knew was coming.

The weight of his choice tore you apart. You wanted to be angry, to hate him for leaving you out, but in his silence, there was also a strange kind of love. A love that had given you a few precious, unburdened moments together. Still, the pain settled deep within you, refusing to ease.

The anger, hurt, and ache became constant companions in the days that followed. But in his absence, you began to understand just how much he’d given for you.

He'd shared with you how hard it was for him to deal with that eerie state of loss. The stage where the person isn't gone but you know you'll lose them. It alters you in a messed up kind of way and he wanted you as far from that reality as possible. He was protecting you from his own condition till the very end.

Helping his family to clear out his apartment was easily the hardest thing you'd ever done. You couldn't do it without tearing up with every belonging of his you touched.

His favourite hoodie that he never let you wear but loved when you did. The polaroids in his drawer that you took from your first date, taken from the floor of the ice rink.

You noticed he'd scribbled writing on the back of the photo.

She finally said yes.

That was all it took. The last bits of your composure were stolen from you and you wept on his bedroom floor. Everyone always told you it would get easier but it never did. How could things get easier when the other half of your heart was buried six feet below the ground?

You learned to live with the loss, forcing a smile when in the company of others and taking deep breaths every morning when you woke up. Mildly disappointed the realm beyond the living hadn't reaped you during your slumber.

Very slowly, you begin to adjust to this new reality. It’s not the life you imagined, but you learn to live with the loss, carrying him with you in the smallest, most tender ways. His favourite hoodie becomes your comfort on cold nights, wrapping you in his memory and his scent.

Just because he was gone doesn't mean you'd end all of your traditions. Each year on the fourteenth of February, you visit his grave, placing a single red rose on the stone as a quiet tribute.

Though the ache remains, you hold his spirit close, carrying him forward into every milestone and memory yet to come, honouring the love you shared while finding the strength to continue onward.

In some ways, your love story turned out to be just another cliché—until it ripped your heart out from your chest, leaving you with the unbearable ache of everything he left unsaid, every unfulfilled promise, and the haunting silence of a future that will always belong to him.

Somehow, even in the quietest, most heart-wrenching moments, you never gave up on finding the silver lining, because life’s too short.

[nereidprinc3ss]

i keep you clean; you surrounded me

in which husband!spencer reid spirals after realizing he can't be your daughter's hero forever.

angst, fluff warnings/tags: this fic is about spencer's past addiction, and how he's afraid it will impact his relationship with his daughter, conversation about alcohol, this is a fix-it fic for my life, ends on a hopeful/positive note, lots of self-loathing from Spencer, uses the phrase "shooting up", PLEASE do not read if this is going to upset you!! PLEASE!! fem!reader a/n: this felt healing in a way for me but that might not be your experience reading if you also have issues with a parent with addiction so please tread lightly and make the right choices for you. CHOOSE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH OVER MY DUMB FANFIC I CAN'T STRESS THAT ENOUGH!! and ily

“Daddy?”

Ada’s not asking for you, but you look to her anyway. She’s squeezed between you and Spencer on Rossi’s swing, and her cheeks are still feverish—remnants of a recent and rather hysterical fit of giggles. She has a glass of lemonade between her little hands (you’re trusting her with a big girl cup, if only because it’s not your glass or your house) and she peers into it intently. Her little grass-stained feet kick. Spencer pushes the swing back ever so slightly, for her entertainment. 

“Huh?”

She holds her glass up for him. 

“Our drinks are the same color.”

“They are,” he nods. “Do you like yellow?”

Ada shrugs. It’s exaggerated—one of her favorite moves as of late. “It’s okay.”

Spencer glances at you like he always does when he sees glimpses of you in your child, eyes sparkling as if her opinionated and bluntly honest nature is in any way reminiscent of you. 

“Yeah, I agree. Yellow is just okay.”

She leans against him and he’s quick to accommodate her, affectionately brushing his knuckles over your bare shoulder as he slings his arm across the back of the swing. 

“Daddy?”

“What, lovebug?”

You smile, letting your head fall back and your eyes close. The sun is warm on your face. 

“Mommy’s drink is red.”

Nothing gets past her. Rossi had pushed the drink into your hand almost the second you stepped through the door, insisting it would go well with lunch. It sits otherwise untouched on the glass table. 

Spencer hums. The swing rocks gently. 

“That’s because she’s not having lemonade like us. She’s having a grownup drink.”

“Oh.”

You think that’s the end of it, that she’s satisfied with the answer, until another moment passes, and her voice, sweet as the tinkle of little fairy bells, is posing a very loaded question. 

“Why don’t you ever have grownup drinks? Me and you always have the same.”

Spencer’s already looking at you, brows drawn as you sit up. Your eyes, open now, go wide, and you shake your head slightly to signal you have no idea how he’s supposed to respond either. 

His hand goes to Ada’s hair, gently scratching her scalp as his eyes dart over your face. You can see the gears turning in his head. This is one of very few things he clearly didn’t read about in any of the literature on raising kids when you were pregnant. 

“I… some people don’t like grownup drinks.”

It’s an inadequate answer, especially coming from Spencer—just this morning he explained to Ada why the sky is blue. Rayleigh scattering. Blue light scatters more than any other kind of light. Which then led to an impromptu lesson on oxygen molecules and other basic chemistry in the car on the way here. 

So there are standards. 

“Why not?”

You interrupt, unable to watch Spencer flounder any longer. “Ada, why don’t you go see what Henry and JJ and Uncle Dave are doing? That looks fun, right?”

You gesture down the yard to where JJ and Rossi are teaching Henry to play cornhole. 

She looks at you with big brown eyes—the set of them, the color—those are all Spencer.

“Can you and daddy come?”

You straighten out her dress and take the half-full glass from her little hands, setting it next to your own on the table. 

“In a minute. Go ahead.”

Spencer’s hand slips from her hair as she pushes off the swing and bounds down the yard. You make sure she arrives to her destination without incident, before scooting closer to your husband and taking his vacant hand. 

“Spence?” You ask quietly, leaning in to try and insert yourself into his eye line. He doesn’t look away from Ada. 

“That was bad.”

“It wasn’t. She doesn’t understand. It’s fine.”

“I didn’t—”

He looks down, lips pressed together, and your heart twists and drops like overripe fruit from the vine as you realize his eyes have glossed over. 

“Baby,” you whisper, relinquishing his hand only so you can rub his back. Your other finds his knee, drawing as close as you possibly can. “It’s okay.”

“How am I supposed to explain it to her?”

A tear falls, making a dark splotch on the fabric of his pants. 

“You don’t have to. She’s only five. I guarantee she’s already forgotten all about it.”

“I will. I’ll have to tell her one day. She thinks I’m perfect, how am I supposed to—”

He stops himself, voice tightening to a halt. You watch him hold back a cry like you haven’t seen in years. It’s an old, familiar ache for you. You can’t imagine how it feels for him. 

“Spencer,” you coo. “She adores you. She loves you so much. That’s never going to change.”

His nose twitches. 

“I’m going to disappoint her.”

“How? How are you going to disappoint her?”

“I think it’s pretty disappointing to find out your dad is a junkie.”

His tone isn’t particularly harsh but the words are like a slap anyway. 

“Spencer…” For a moment you don’t know what else to say. It’s not a secret that he’s ashamed of that chapter in his life, but you had no idea he was contending with this much self-loathing over it, even after all this time. It seems like such a distant point in the rearview mirror that the two of you almost never need to talk about it anymore. “You are not a junkie. It’s been, what—a decade?”

“I don’t want to have to tell her what drugs are, let alone that I... she thinks I’m the smartest guy in the world, and one day I’ll have to tell her that drugs are extremely dangerous, and I was shooting up for four months anyway. No matter how I try to explain it to her the ultimate takeaway is going to be that I’m weak and I wasn’t smart enough and she’s never, ever going to forget that. How am I supposed to—I can’t be a role model for her. I fucked up so badly.”

Your chest aches, somewhere deep and hollow, as he leans forward, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes, only for a moment—before Ada shrieks and his head snaps back up. Henry is chasing her with a worm. Spencer watches on, tears still leaking from his eyes and expression otherwise neutral. It’s bittersweet to hear him express such deep insecurity about the thing he’s best at in the world, even as those parental instincts kick in and he’s setting aside his own feelings to keep an eye on her. He’s never trusted himself. He’s never seen himself the way you do. 

“Baby, you are her dad and she loves you. Her love for you is not contingent on your past. You are so, so good to her. That’s all she knows, okay? She doesn’t care what you were doing when you were 25. She cares about whether you’ll be home for dinner, and if you’ll play dolls with her, and if you’ll tuck her in. That’s all she needs to love you.”

JJ wrangles the kids and after a moment Spencer looks down again, brow furrowed deeply as drops like rain dot his lap, but he hardly makes a sound. You lay your cheek on his shoulder. “And until she’s old enough for the whole story, which involves a lot more violence than I am comfortable with her being subjected to right now, you don’t need to explain it to her. You have time.”

“She wants to know now.”

“She also wants icecream for every meal. But I can’t make her understand why that’s a bad idea. What she wants and what she needs and what she is capable of understanding are all different categories. I know you love answering all her questions, and you’re a really good teacher, but you can’t make her understand something as complex as addiction.”

Spencer sniffs. 

“Developmentally she’s only really capable of understanding the world as it exists in relation to herself.”

“Exactly. So give her some time, and give yourself some time.”

“What if she asks again?”

“Then… you say you don’t like how it makes you feel. And tell her to clean up her toys. Condition her to stop asking.”

Spencer stumbles over a teary laugh he hadn’t been expecting. You sit up straight, holding his face between your hands and encouraging him to look at you. His cheeks shine with tears, but you wipe them away tenderly. 

“You’re perfect to her,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to one cheek, “and you’re perfect to me.” He cups your elbow as you kiss the other and looks at you with so much sheer adoration you could get all choked up, too.

“Wow,” he sniffles, and takes a deep breath, pulling you into him, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Of course you do,” you mumble into his shirt, eyes fluttering shut as he presses three kisses to the curve of your neck where he’s buried his face. 

“I could be canonized as a saint and not deserve you.”

Sainthood. You ponder that. 

Saints have to live virtuously. They also have to be dead. 

You hold him a little tighter. You like him exactly how he is: technically imperfect. Probably not getting into heaven. Still venerable. Very much heroic. Alive, and with you.

“I’m really glad you’re not a saint.”

He chuckles. His hand slides up your back, and then side to side—a path it’s made time and time again which has only ever led you to wonderful, perfect places.

“Me too.”