#any indication that i should have those things memorized

[agustdtown1]

FOREVER GRATEFUL | JJK

PAIRING: jeon jungkook x fem!reader.

SUMMARY: jeon jungkook was a man like no other, one that cared for you and your sinful needs more than he should, and for that you will forever be grateful.

WC: 5.6k

WARNINGS: age gap, jungkook’s older than reader (although there’s no mention of a specific age), their relationship is not the healthiest but they manage, jk’s line of work is not specified but it is hinted that it’s illegal, small (very small) mention of blood, pet names (doll, princess, pretty girl…), it is hinted —and mentioned, that reader doesn’t have much experience about sex, smut, pwp (porn with plot because I got carried away, but only here and there), restraining, blindfolding, unprotected sex (be better), fingering, light choking, biting, marking, name calling (slut, dumb), jk cumming inside reader, i kinda rushed the end so it’s not that good tbh. 18+ only!

A/N: so… this is my first time writing for the boys since I created my account, I hope this is not as bad as I think it is and that you can enjoy your reading. Lmk what you think and also, english is not my first language so if there’s any grammar/spelling mistakes pls just ignore them <3!

masterlist

“Stay still.”

A husky voice rang into your ears, making a feeling as warm as the sun start to spread through your whole body; an electrifying sensation running through your veins, while goosebumps found solace on your skin. His voice has always been your favorite sound. The raspiness and low register adorning the man’s voice often got you weak in the knees, whenever he would whisper to you or call your name. And this time was no different, however, it seemed to have a stronger power over you. As magnetic as the voice of a siren, pulling the unlucky sailors out of the safety of their boats and into the depths of the cold water of the ocean; ready to devour them in such a frenzy that the last thing you could hear from the poor men was the start of a plea that would forever be unfinished.

Regardless of the difference between scenarios, the comparison seemed to be fitting. Jeon Jungkook was often described as magnetic, with the words alluring and charming following not so far behind. It would explain why you were found in such an interesting predicament at the moment.

A chill breeze brushing over your warm, bare skin, snapped you out of your wandering thoughts. The indication was short and simple. Discard your clothes from the very first moment you walk into the room and wait for him in bed. And so, your body, as many times before, was left completely exposed to Junkook’s hungry eyes; moreover, his eagerness to devour you was crystal clear, not daring to hide his fervent desire of having another taste of your sweet body. Watching you like a predator would to its prey.

His hands were tingling with excitement, for the future adventure both of you would go through, in a matter of minutes. Tonight, like many others, was dedicated solely to you, to your enjoyment; for you to, once again, discover a part of yourself that has yet to see the morning sun and yet to taste the deliciousness of the unknown. A new experience, a new journey, a brand new feeling for you to replay over and over again in your head, during those painfully lonely nights, when you could only find calmness in the feather-like touch of your fingers, running through your needy and greedy body.

Jungkook, however, knew exactly what he was doing by making you wait until your breaking point, waiting for a whine to fall from your precious lips, or for your desperate hand to reach out to him, whatever happens first, but in a silent plea for even a sliver of his attention. He had memorized every gesture, every reaction, every movement you would do, and it entertained the man more than it should.

“You’re tense.” Jungkook pointed out, easing the knots in your shoulders with his skillful hands. “What’s gotten you this aggravated, princess?”

It was the mocking tone, the graceful touch, or even his inviting eyes; whatever it was, it served as a decisive factor to push yourself forward and wrap your arms around his empty neck, like a snake would with its prey; hard and firm.

Desperate hands were first, then.

“You.” An answer was uttered, yet there was a lack of reaction from the man in front of you.

“Could’ve fooled me.” Jungkook taunted, acknowledging the power he had over you. “But don’t think I have forgotten the order I gave you.”

It left you confused for a good second, before his strong hands reached out for yours, stripping himself off from your needy touch.

“Stay still.” Jeon ordered once again, smirking once you obeyed.

You knew better than to challenge him, knowing that your safest option was to follow his instructions with no objection, if you wanted to get your awaited reward, that is.

Who would have thought that you’d be so accustomed to this routine. If asked, then give. If given, then be grateful for it.

The older man has improved your sex life in a matter of a few months, introducing your inexperienced self to the wonders of healthy and eccentric intercourse. Jungkook has proven to you many times in the span of a few months that your negative expectations of sex were granted by your poorly skilled sexual partners. Never once experiencing a dull moment since you were left in the dangerous hands of Jeon Jungkook.

If asked, then give. If given, be grateful.

Just like a believer would with whatever God sets in their path. Just like a kid would when a gift was left under the Christmas tree. You were grateful. It was easy to be. For it was gratefulness that had been installed within you from the moment yours and Jungkook’s paths have crossed.

Nonetheless, as grateful as you were, the hesitation in the back of your head didn’t seem to want to leave. The more Jungkook gave you, the more you wondered if you deserved it. But it reasoned with you that the true cause for your indecisiveness was the premise under which your relationship with the tattooed man had developed.

They don’t make men like him anymore, it’s what your friend had told you when she first introduced you to him, and it scared you. It frightened you that your only option to survive in such a cruel world was to cling to a man that was yet to explain what his line of work was. But then again, you didn’t want to know.

If Jungkook came back from work, looking unkempt and exhausted it was none of your business. That blood stain has always been on his shirt for all you knew. His sketchy friends have never once disrespected you, and that was enough for the time being. If he has broken the law, you don't need to know.

You would never know.

If asked, then give. If given, be grateful. If grateful, show it.

That’s a matter in which you could actually participate. In fact, it’s the way you were taught to be for the past few months.

You earn what you’re given, so show manners and be thankful.

Don’t question, just take. A mindset that has gotten you to where you were right now. In the bedroom of, by far, the most dangerous man in all Korea. Yet, not once has your well-being been threatened, and for that you're grateful.

And you're about to show it.

“You deserve it.” Jungkook reminded you before straying away to roam through his drawers.

The anticipation was killing you. Your eager eyes couldn’t see past his bare and muscular back facing you. Jeon thrived on the way your lustful gaze would always settle on his body, hence the lack of a shirt. Only a low waisted pair of jeans, that allowed you to see the hem of his Calvin Klein underwear, were preventing you from seeing his firm thighs.

You enjoyed the view, more than you probably should. How his muscles flexed when he moved, and the way his toned back shone under the dim light of the room.

It was such a delectable sight for your painfully sore eyes.

“You ready?” The question snapped you out of your thoughts, making you notice how close he was now.

“Yes.” You answered with light hesitation.

Your major enemy showing up once again: indecisiveness. But that wouldn’t stop you from giving yourself to the man in front of you. Not this time.

“Yes, what?” Jeon insisted. “Don’t forget your manners.”

“Yes, sir, I’m ready.” It fell naturally from your lips.

A satisfied smirk appeared on his face.

“Good girl.”

The dark haired man reached out for your wrists, placing a delicate kiss on both of them before tying them with a silky tie of his, and forcing your wandering hands to stay still once and for all.

“Do you trust me?” Jungkook gently asked.

“No, sir, I don’t.”

It was the only correct answer, and both you and Jungkook knew it.

The moment he earned your trust would be the moment he’d have to leave you behind, to fend for yourself and for you to learn how to navigate through the dark corners of your unlucky life.

Trusting him means leaving your guard down, leaving your guard down means being vulnerable, and Jungkook knew better than to be vulnerable, especially in the type of life he lived in. He didn’t want you to make that mistake, and if it meant giving you reasons to doubt him, then so be it.

“Are you gonna do as I say?” Jeon inquired.

“I will.”

“Good.” He leaned down to steal a harsh kiss from you. “You have no idea how bad I’m going to ruin you tonight.”

A slight shiver ran down your spine, knowing too well that his words were far from being an empty promise.

His tattooed hands descended on your bare body, ever so delicate, ever so tender. A stark contrast to what his real intentions were, and it left you craving more of it. Your insatiable desire for being thoroughly worshiped by his lips, his hands, all of him. It was never enough, and it will never be.

Like a stray dog in need of being fed, you needed his touch to be satisfied. Luckily for you, Jungkook was always a man to deliver everything you asked for, even if not verbally.

His eyes, never swerving from your body, took in all the reactions you gave him; from the way your lips formed a perfect o-shape, freeing the most delicious sounds, to how your back arched oh so naturally when his already trained fingers made their way towards the south part of your body. The place where he would get baptized every night, like a strong believer. Ending his thirst with the holy liquid you would suffice him with, not once asking for anything in return, but thankful of his merciful goddess showing appreciation for his dedication.

The only thing is, you weren’t a goddess and he wasn’t a believer. And the whole scenario was way more dirty in reality than what you’d often fantasize.

“Such a pretty doll.” Jungkook brought you back into reality with his husky voice, “Always so responsive.”

His middle finger traveled down to reach your entrance, teasing you with his light touch. Waiting for your reaction, waiting for you to beg. But just like he knew you so well, it was easy for you to tell when he wanted something from you. So rather than give Jungkook what he wanted, you settled for playing a game that would get you in a situation where not even God would help you.

You moved your hips ever so lightly, testing how far you could go without the tattooed man reminding you who’s in charge. Chasing his touch was easy, attaining it was a whole different story. And it was proven to you that tonight the ball was not in your court, when all you got was a chuckle from the man, while he retrieved his hand and leaned down to be face to face with you.

“Have you not learned anything yet, princess?” His dark voice made you tremble in your spot. “Or have you forgotten how things work around here, hm?”

Unwilling to answer, the only response he got from you was a strained whine, yet Jeon could see the desperation in your eyes, the fervent desire to be ruined by him, to be left defenseless and at his complete mercy. Your body wasn’t yours anymore; it stopped being yours the moment he set his eyes on you.

Jeon Jungkook owned you, that much was obvious. And as terrifying as it was, the fact was equally thrilling.

“How badly do you want me?” He tried again, with a question that drove you crazy. “Be good for me and say the words, princess.”

Wasn’t it evident? People often thought that you were too harsh to deal with, too rude, too much to handle. It didn’t offend you, nor did it crack your heart whenever someone would complain about your hot temper and crude attitude. However, at this precise moment, you were giving the man in front of you exactly what he was asking for, albeit not verbally, but your body was working on its own accord. For every light touch, Jeon would get a shiver, squirming, even a plea from your eyes. Any reaction that was in the books, you were already serving it for him.

Nonetheless, it seemed like you weren’t compliant enough for the older man.

“So bad.” You opted to respond instead, finally giving in. “I need you, I want you. Please, sir.”

It was like music to his ears. Your delightful voice, flying through the room as if it were the sweetest melody. Not even the singing of an angel would achieve the reaction that you were pulling from Jungkook right now. Just listening to you beg for him, that’s all Jeon ever wanted.

“You are being so good and polite, baby.” He praised you. “I’ll give you what you need, but…” The dark haired man drifted off, pulling out a blindfold from the back of his jeans. “I’m afraid we’ll do it my way.”

Terrifying, as looking into the depths of a deserted forest, but it was sinful enough for you to crave it. It was exciting regardless of what the whole ordeal entailed. Therefore, when the tall man approached you, with a silky blindfold resting on his hands, you were ready to follow his orders with no objections.

In a matter of seconds you were deprived of Junkook’s hard features, leaving you with a view of pure darkness, and causing your body to start squirming and moving around due to the anticipation. It was difficult to find calmness in such a stressful moment, but you managed. However, Jeon decided to start toying with you, taking advantage of the fact that you were unaware of your surroundings. And so his fingers commenced a trip down the tender flesh of your neck, rapidly traveling down your collarbones and lightly gracing your nipples, only for later on to pinch both of your buds in a harsh manner, one that ripped a strained gasp out of your mouth.

A sardonic smile took place on his face, however, you couldn’t see it. His free hand traveled up to push your cheeks together, enjoying how plump your lips looked and not being able to resist the urge to bite them.

Your breath hitched in your throat when you felt his teeth sinking in the flesh of your lips, along with the way his fingers were kneading every inch of your body.

“Relax and stay still.” Jeon ordered. “I know you’ll love this.”

His soothing voice was helping you to calm down, but it wasn’t enough. The sensations that were running through your body and the lack of proper touch left you in an unbearable agony. You craved to feel him closer, for his skin touching yours, for his breath mixing with yours while your bodies were intertwined in a passionate race to free both of your souls. What he was giving you wasn’t enough, but then again, when has it been?

A greedy little thing, that’s what Jungkook has always called you. And rightfully so, because you longed for him in ways no one else had done, and it scared him. Jeon was afraid you might be too attached to him, moreover, to your own idea of him. The way you would reach for his hand, almost as second nature, when you were out and about, or how your eyes always gravitated towards his figure whenever he stepped into a room. That terrified him. Because it meant you were addicted to him in the same way he was to you, and that could only mean trouble in the long run.

Tonight, however, was not about his fears and insecurities. Tonight was meant to be for you; to supply you with the utmost pleasure you were able to handle, and even if you couldn’t, Jungkook was willing to give you more than what you asked for. So rather than letting his mind wander to places he wasn’t fond of, the man decided to grant you what you were desperately looking for.

His slender fingers slid into your warm hole, filling you up as best as possible. Moving in ways that would haunt you forever, as a reminder that no one —not even yourself, will be able to touch you and treat you like he could.

“There you go…” He muttered, so close to your ear that made you shiver. “Is that enough for my little slut?”

His husky voice echoed through every corner of the room, pulling a light gasp out of you. It wasn’t strange for you to hear him say such lewd things or call you such unspeakable names, but every single time he did, it awakened a wild sensation within you.

Answering to his question you shook your head no, adamant to get more of him, and desperately wanting to be filled to the brim with something more than his fingers.

“More…” You begged. “Please, more.”

His fingers were avidly moving, pumping in and out of your velvety walls at a steady pace. His touch seemed to be enhanced and it felt much more than any other time. Whether it was because you couldn’t see nor could you touch anything, or because of his skillful movements, you couldn’t tell. Nevertheless, there was no complaint. It felt terribly good.

“Yes, please don’t stop.”

Your whiny voice was making Jungkook experience unspeakable things. He was eager to have you, eager to touch you, eager to have a taste of you. But more importantly, so desperate to fuck you. In the same way he awakened a wild side of you with his dark stare, you drove him absolutely crazy with the little noises you made. Furthermore, having you underneath him, moaning his name while squirming in pleasure, and feeling pure bliss due to how good he made you feel, was boosting his ego.

Jeon Jungkook was a man that always strived to be praised, even for the little and insignificant things. So to say he was thrilled and satisfied by the way you were chanting his name like a sinful prayer, along with how your body was responding insanely good to his touch, would be an enormous understatement.

He was on the verge of losing control and claiming you in such an animalistic way, that would leave anyone who happened to be near his room, concerned for your well-being.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you look like this?” It was a question that didn’t need an answer.

Jungkook was entranced by the way you were reacting to his touch, watching your skin coated in goosebumps and how your legs would try to wrap around his waist to pull him closer, in need of him. It has always amazed him how innocent and clueless you looked and acted on the daily, yet somehow you knew what to do to make him act up, to drive him crazy. It was as if you were just pretending to know nothing just to tease him, just to make him never leave you, but deep down Jungkook knew you were sincere.

Your life has been tough, to say the least, and he knew you were in need of guidance, in need of someone to hold your hand and walk you through the crude stages of life. Jeon has never told you, but part of the reason why he took interest in you was due to his protective instinct. The older man knew you needed protection, from who or what? It wasn’t clear, but he instantly knew he was the right one to do it.

Oddly enough, there was no one better than the most dangerous man in South Korea to keep you safe.

But the way you would act so innocently drove him crazy.

Even when you tried to act confident, there was this sprinkle of hesitation every time you did something —indecisiveness striking again. And it was difficult to ignore it, moreover, it was difficult to hide it. The man could see right through your weak act, and spot your nervousness from miles away.

Even when you sucked him off in his office after a tiring meeting, he knew you were slightly scared to do such a thing.

Someone pretending to be clueless wouldn’t act as eager and clumsy as you did back then, although there has been some improvement since that time. Your teeth wouldn’t make an appearance anymore, you would use the right amount of saliva to make it messy but still look appealing for Jeon. The man loved how now you use more of your tongue to tease his tip and how far he could go into your throat. But none of that would’ve been attained without his help.

If given, be grateful. If grateful, show it.

It all goes back to the same predicament: you often showing your thankfulness for every little thing Jungkook has done for you.

He saved you, in the same way that a human would take an injured bird into their home to help it heal. Only for the person to cage it after the bird it’s back on its feet. Whereas Jeon Jungkook saved you from your previous way of living, he also owned you, preventing you from leaving his side.

Your broken moan snapped the dark haired man back into reality. His eyes were glazed with lust, looking right down on you and your tempting body.

“Are you close yet, doll?”

He knew you were. Jungkook could feel you clenching on his fingers, but he wanted to hear it from you.

“Yes, I’m so close.” You whined.

Your hands were moving so much, trying to break free from the tie that was preventing you from touching him. Jeon silently enjoyed it, he enjoyed how addicted to him you were, that it was a torture for you to not touch him in any way. You were so accustomed to feeling him, every single inch, that being restrained felt like pure hell.

“Please… More, faster…” You once again begged, and this time Jungkook couldn’t handle it.

Ignoring your protests, he pulled his fingers out, rapidly stripping off the rest of his clothes to position himself in between your legs. Because yes, he was on the verge of losing control before, but now his racional side flew out the window, and so he couldn’t wait a second longer to be wrapped in the warmth of your walls, ready to take him in.

“My sweet girl, don’t be impatient.” Jungkook cooed at you. “I’ll give you something better.”

Without further ado, he thrusted into you with a hard pump. It ripped a moan out of you, making you tug at the tie even more. You were beyond annoyed that you couldn’t touch him nor could you see his beautiful figure while he fucked you, although it enhanced the rest of your senses.

You could hear his little noises more clearly, feel his touch even better than you usually would, and taste him so much more in every kiss he gave you. It was truly a blessing and a curse.

“You’re so tight, Y/n.” Jungkook gritted through his teeth, preventing himself from moving manically just yet.

Jeon could see the struggle in your face, the way you were clenching on his dick so hard that it was almost impossible for him to move. No matter how many times he’s fucked you, you would never get accustomed to his size. But in reality, the actual problem was that the man hasn’t done exactly that in a while.

Truth be told, there was a reason for your eagerness, for your desperation. For your ambition to have more of him. Jungkook has been neglecting you the past couple of days, perhaps not on purpose, but his line of work has required him to travel to the other side of the world for a whole week. And now that he was back you were ready to trap him in your limbs for as long as you could have him.

“I haven’t fucked you in a while that your pussy is already forgetting how my cock feels, huh?” He acknowledged the situation. “Maybe I’ll have to remind this tight cunt who owns it.”

Without a warning, he gave a hard thrust once again, bottoming out. You wanted to tell him that you didn’t forget how big his dick was or how good it felt. Many nights you fantasized about his fat cock pounding into you while the only thing you could use to pleasure yourself was your fingers. It was such a sad comparison, especially because it proved that what he once told you was completely true.

No one will be ever able to satisfy your carnal needs in the same way that he does. No one will be able to make you come undone with their touch. You could only daydream about Jungkook rocking into you hard and rough, during those lonely nights when the only thing you could use was your small fingers.

Luckily for you, now you have it, the real thing. Now you could feel the tip of his cock hitting every right spot the more the thrusted into you. His veiny member slamming over and over into your throbbing cunt, crying for more of him.

“So fucking greedy. My dirty slut can never get enough of me, huh?” Jungkook groaned, “Look at you, already a mess and I’ve barely done anything, sweetheart.”

It was such a true statement. Even if there was no way for you to look at yourself, you were sure of your disheveled appearance. Sweat was coating your skin, making your messy hair stick to your forehead and nape, your lips were now swollen and shiny due to the wet kisses Jeon has shared with you.

But it has always been like this. Jeon always knew what to do, what to say, how to touch you to turn you into a babbling and whiny mess, one who could only chant his name and ask for more, like the little ambitious and greedy girl you were. Regardless of the way you would sometimes demand more of his attention, more of his touch, he loved it. The tattooed man loved how ruined you looked at the end of your rendezvous, staring at your tear stained cheeks and swollen lips. Jungkook was always fascinated by how fucked out you were once he was done with everything, it was his favorite look on you.

“You like this, don’t you? Being used like a fuck toy, not being able to do anything to fight me.” The older man let out a dark chuckle, while one of his hands crept up to wrap itself around your throat. “So defenseless and needy, letting me do anything to you.”

The more he talked the closer you got. You knew it was a matter of time for you to cum. And you couldn’t be more thankful for that.

Jungkook kept rocking into you at a rapid and harsh pace, fucking your brains out while calling you names that he knew would pull a reaction out of you.

“My dumb baby, taking me so well.” He praised you. “You always know how to take my cock, willing to let me fuck this pretty pussy however I want.”

You could only nod, gasping for air and moving your hips to meet his thrusts as best as possible. It was like a race to see which one would finish first, although it was clear that the man ramming into you would not relent until you were crying and shaking underneath him.

“Fuck, you drive me crazy.” He confessed, leaning down to kiss your soft lips.

His free hand traveled down in between your legs to place his skilled thumb over your clit. His movements were like a bucket of cold water poured over your burning skin. It calmed the building fire in between your legs, just as much as it fueled your already approaching orgasm.

“You feel so amazing around my dick.” Jeon hissed over your lips, hypnotized by the way his aching cock would get lost into your soaked cunt.

“Oh god…” You moaned. “Please don’t stop, I’m so fucking close.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” A promise, far from being empty.

It was clear that Jeon was getting close as well by the way he so desperately was pounding into you, moaning lowly and leaning down to bite your neck.

His lips and teeth were doing wonders on your skin, marking you up with his bites and sucking on your flesh as well. Jungkook was devouring you, tasting you, ruining you as he promised.

“Holy shit…” He said in a raspy voice. “You’re all mine, aren’t you? Only I can make you feel like this.”

“Yes, yes, yes…” You chanted back, but it wasn’t enough for him.

“Come on, tell me, pretty girl.” He requested. “Tell me you’re mine.”

“I’m yours. I’m all yours.” You slurred your words out.

It only encouraged the man to fuck you harder, meaner, faster… Exactly how you liked it. Jungkook was aware of it, he knew you like the palm of his hand, and although it was concerning how much he knew about you, it also came in handy in moments like this.

“Shit, I’m gonna cum.” Jungkook alerted you, snapping both of you from your wandering thoughts.

“Cum, inside me.” You croaked out, biting on your bottom lip.

It was a risky request, something that you might regret in the future, not only because you weren’t on any contraception, but it entailed being connected to him in such an intimate way, one that neither of you were ready for.

“Are you sure?” He asked with a soft tone, yet you could hear the agitation in his voice. “Are you okay with… oh fuck, with me cumming in you?”

“Yes, yes, please. Just do it, fill me up, please.” You struggled to say. “I need to feel your cum deep inside me.”

Jungkook felt like dying with the lewd words you were spewing.

You were drunk on the ecstasy of the whole experience. Not being able to look at your surroundings, being restrained, the way Jeon was pistoning into you, hitting spots that no one has ever been able to reach before; the sinful words spilling from his lips, his hand still wrapped around your neck, albeit more loosely now. Everything was clouding your mind and leaving you in such a lax state, that prevented you from forming any coherent thought.

Regardless, your consensual words were all he needed to let go, shooting his hot cum inside of your greedy pussy.

“Oh god…” Jungkook moaned, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

His orgasm triggered yours, throwing you over the edge in a matter of seconds, right after he came. Your whimpers were loud and high pitched, your body was burning and trembling, and you were sure the light makeup you were previously wearing was smudged by now.

You were panting, trying your best to calm your agitated breathing. Jungkook was still inside of you, with his face hidden in your neck, breathing as heavily as you were. Both still intertwined in a mess of sweaty limbs.

After a few minutes where both of you recovered from the intense orgasms you just had, Jeon finally pulled out, separating himself from you. His hands flew up to free yours, making you whine softly; he placed a soft kiss on both of your wrists, making sure the tie didn’t hurt you. The blindfold came off next, and it took a few seconds for your eyes to get used to the dim light after seeing pure darkness.

“How was it?”

A simple question, one that, in the ears of an oblivious listener, would mean nothing. An inquiry that held more significance and concern than a simple are you okay?; it was subtle but it spoke volumes the way Jeon Jungkook would still feel the need to protect you, even from himself.

He never voiced his worries properly, trying to play it cool but secretly concerned that he might have hurt you in any way. The man never learnt how to correctly communicate with others, but he would be damned if he didn’t express how much he cared for you in other ways.

“Amazing…” Was your response, albeit in a hoarse voice.

Your throat was slightly aggravated, feeling terribly dry after attempting to voice the pleasure and enjoyment from the experience, through the small space there was left from Jungkook’s hard grip on it. However, it didn’t stop you from answering his concerns.

Amazing, fascinating.

It was the only way to describe it, your mind was too foggy to think of a proper answer, but by the way he was smirking you could tell he was satisfied with your response.

“Good.” He nodded. “Don’t move, I’ll bring a towel to clean you up and a bottle of water.”

Before he could step out of the room your weak voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Wait…” You called for him.

If asked, then give; if given, be grateful. If grateful, show it.

“Thank you.” A small whisper was all it took for the man to walk back at you, leaning down to place a tender kiss on your forehead.

“Get some rest, I’ll be right back.”

You were left alone in the big room, spread out on the mattress while your mind was trying to comprehend all the events that just happened. Your heart was filled with questions, but you knew better than to ponder over those inquiries.

Jeon Jungkook was a man like no other, one that cared for you more than he should, and for that you will be forever grateful.

[nobodyfamousposts]

Scarlet Lady Essay: Frightningale

Yet another essay for @zoe-oneesama. Because you deserve it.

I’m not going to bother with a compare/contrast of canon vs Scarlet Lady Frightningale because Frightningale in canon was a pretty forgettable episode. Akuma was lame. Setup was wasted. And it’s removal from the series would lose nothing of value.

So instead, I'm going to focus primarily on the Scarlet Lady version of Frightningale and what it does that makes it memorable.

I guess to start with, I should make it clear that I’m not a fan of shows being lazy, especially when they display a lack of planning or consideration of their story and characters. And perhaps one of the greater indicators of this issue is when a series suddenly realizes they they neglected multiple plot points until it’s too late to give them all the focus they warrant so they end up shoving all of those points into one episode and try to present it like it’s supposed to be an adequate resolution of all that buildup or in any way intentional.

Penalteam was that episode for Miraculous. They had the “temporary heroes” setup going for them but then wasted so much time on filler like Frightningale that it seems like they honestly forgot about it until they were reaching a designated end point and they realized they still had four more heroes they were supposed to introduce. Whoops? Ah well, just introduce them all at once. Not like anyone will care!

And when you treat most of the cast like they’re all as shallow as a puddle, I guess that’s true.

The thing is, when you have a setup where there is a running theme of every person in a specific group getting their own episode/chapter to detail their issues and how they get a power up, it’s going to stand out whenever one of them doesn’t. Especially when that one or more are forced to share their limelight episode. 

That’s not to say you can’t do it, but it’s bound to get attention if you do. It reflects poorly on the writing. It shows whom the “favored” and “unfavored” characters are. And it displays the issue with pacing—namely that it’s next to nonexistent until it hits you with the force of a freight train.

But can it be done and be done well? Is it possible to pull off such a thing and have it make sense and fit in lines with the characters?

Well, yes. Off the top of my head, I can think of two different ways to do it to make it work.

And Zoe did both of them.

If you look at Scarlet Lady as a whole, you’ll see a conglomeration of characters—each with stories and arcs attached. They have personalities. They have goals and problems and their own highs and lows. One sign of good writing is that some focus is given to highlight these other characters as people. Individuals in their own right with lives outside of the main characters or situation.

Miraculous doesn't really do this.

Scarlet Lady, however, does. Because contrary to the title, Scarlet Lady isn’t just about Chloe.

It isn’t even just about the heroes.

It isn’t just about Chloe being horrible. Or Marinette being in love. Or Adrien being in desperate need of a hug and a nap. Because while the story is centered around them, it isn’t solely about them. Other characters get focus and growth and their own arcs throughout the comics.

But the big two—the BIGGEST two with arguably the most depth and most growth and quite frankly the best storylines out of everyone in the entire series?

It’s Sabrina and Lila. And their individual stories have led up to this.

As such, this episode—which was mostly filler and all around forgettable in canon, matters here.

It’s where Sabrina and Lila reach the culmination of their respective character arcs. 

Yes, it’s when they both get to become Miraculous Heroes and meet their own kwamis, but it’s more than just that! They both hang out with the girls group as full members of the crew, getting to take part in a music video together. It’s also where they both get to stand up for themselves and the city at large while calling out Chloe and Scarlet Lady. This is what their storylines have been building up to and where their growth really shows.

Sabrina started out as Chloe’s minion same as canon—albeit with more attention to her feelings and her responses, no matter how seemingly small, allowing her to feel more like her own person. And through this focus, we got to see her open up more, pull and eventually break away from Chloe and her influence, and over time stand up for herself and try to establish herself both with the class and as an individual.

Lila started off as a liar and manipulator, selfish and self centered, much like canon. Unlike canon, her lies are tied to her issues, noted to be poorly thought through, and give her more introspection as a person. After the lies are revealed, she’s not “redeemed” so much as she is “accountable”, and it doesn’t change who she is. She remains selfish and certainly far from being considered “good”, but she’s letting people in past her walls and masks in a way she hadn’t been able to before.

Both of these things? Figuring out who you are and letting people know you for who you are? They’re incredibly hard. And a lot of time was devoted to both of their journeys along the course of the comic.

Sabrina’s arc was about her figuring out who she is on her own. Outside of Chloe and her previous role of being a follower and lackey. And sometimes it feels less scary to stay with someone toxic than to be alone and facing the unknown. We see it in the way she tries to put herself out there afterwards, reaching out and risking rejection and just figuring herself out. Even or perhaps especially with those she already knows and has a less than positive history with.

And we still see the struggle of her view of herself in this episode. It was in the way she was upset that she legitimately tried to help and it still resulted in bad things happening. And it was also clear when she calls herself a “sidekick” to Marigold after the day was saved, as if it’s a role she still sees herself as and one she struggles not to fall in to. Over time, we’re seeing Sabrina learning that she doesn’t have to be attached or subservient to someone else to have an identity or be accepted. 

Lila’s arc involved her figuring out who she is with people. Outside of the lies and manipulations she creates, the masks she wears, and the identities she crafts to make people like her. The “real Lila” is far from the best person and arguably not even a good person, but she also doesn’t have to be for the others to accept her as the still somewhat bad influence she is. She’s still very much selfish and flawed, but she’s less inclined to hide it or treat it like something that needs to be hidden. And isn’t that a common lesson? That it’s better to be liked for who you are than to force yourself to be someone else to be liked?

And at the same time, even with being less than a fully good person, she’s showing that she can still find better ways of acting that allow her to help others rather than hurt them or serve herself. She still hates Scar, but rather than working with Hawk Moth to kill her and risk dooming Paris and the world, she’s instead working with Alya through more legitimate (and legal) means…and hitting Scar where it hurts most. She and Adrien may not be friends, but rather than try to punish him for not going along with her, she’s instead rescued him, putting herself on the line—something that the former Lila wouldn’t have considered doing and one that canon Lila wouldn’t be capable of. Even if she’s motivated by pettiness or self-interest, what would have been straight up revenge on someone who upset her has grown to be something that is working in everyone’s better interests.

Both Lila and Sabrina hid themselves in different ways and for different reasons. So having them both assert themselves and call out both Chloe and Scarlet Lady is a show of their growth and overall a huge deal. It’s not something either of them would have done at the start of the series. Sabrina, because she was a “yes man” who wouldn’t dare to argue with Chloe and Lila because she wouldn’t risk openly doing something to make herself a target. 

And now boom! Look at them both! Lila stepped up to openly and publicly denounce Scarlet Lady as not being a hero for real reasons that aren’t just about herself or her feelings—complete with receipts! The girl did her research, noting incidents from before she even came into the picture. Then follow up with Sabrina standing up against Chloe’s machinations and dismantling Chloe’s main source of power: her father. Even better, she’s using logic and knowledge she would have as a former ally of Chloe’s who would know her tricks, taking her former friendship with Chloe and using it against her.

And on top of that, each of them are given the Miraculous by the person they wronged in the past. Marinette to Sabrina and Adrien to Lila. Especially in Lila’s case, it says a lot that they’re trusted. That shows narratively that even with their mistakes and bad choices and continued struggles, they still can move forward—not necessarily to find redemption, but to find themselves and be their best selves.

This is why it makes sense for them to share this episode. It’s also why both of them speaking up matters. They are both publicly confronting their greatest foe, and the fact that their foes are really two faces of the same person further highlights this. 

So they both have issues with the same person, are dealing with forming their identities without catering to others, are working out how to have/be friends, were formerly not the best of people, and have a fear of rejection. As such, this isn’t just their obligatory hero episode, this is what their individual stories have been leading up to. Almost like they’re two sides of the same coin. And the comparison between the two helps them both shine.

And speaking of shining, does anyone remember how the all girls team up didn’t get a chance to shine in canon? Zoe sure did.

I have a whole list of problems I have regarding Party Crasher, but perhaps number seven on that list is that the boys got to have an all male temp hero team up episode while the girls didn’t.

In fact, by this episode in canon, only Alya, Chloe, and Kagami actually got to be temp heroes.

To be fair, only four of the guys out of seven in canon got to be part of their particular event in Party Crasher, leaving out Ivan (who often tends to get overlooked) and Nathaniel (who has had a precedent of just literally disappearing from the episode). But originally, part of the appeal of Party Crasher was that the focus was supposed to be on the male classmates and getting to see at least some of them being part of a team against the akuma.

Why then didn’t we get an episode like this with the girls? Or at least something LIKE this?

Frightningale became that episode. And if any of the episodes were to do it, it makes the most sense for Frightningale to be the one.

All of the girls were together to take part in this event. So Zag would have had the perfect excuse to include them all in the fight or just have the girls do something to help even as civilians. I mean, we’ve had episodes do this before. Max in Robustus. Nathaniel and Alix in Reverser. Luka in Captain Hardrock. Let the civilians show their heroic traits even before they become heroes. It’s not a Miraculous, but it’s still giving them focus and expanding on them as individuals.

Instead, canon Frightningale was a filler episode. And not even a good one. For an akuma who forces people to sing or dance, it’s a waste that they just had the heroes spend the whole time rhyming. A waste of writing and talent. I mean, have you heard Christina Vee sing? If there needed to be a musical episode, I would think that the akuma who forces people to sing would certainly warrant it! At least more than it’s Christmas and they sing just cuz.

So this is yet another thing that Zoe improves with the Scarlet Lady version of this episode. Giving us the all girl team up episode so many of us have long wanted and getting to see all the female heroes together at last. 

And with this, we get the full roster of friends-turned heroes.

Except for Alix. Poor, poor Alix.  ;_;

Your day will come.

In this way, the end where Clara goes a different direction with her music video feels less like a half-assed fix to a half-forgotten plot point and more like something that was built by everyone involved. I don’t know about the rest of you, but given Clara’s excitement over the all girl band playing and Pigella’s gift showing Clara an idea for her video, it highlights the focus on EVERYONE being part of this—both the video and the episode itself. It kind of comes off as a lesson of its own about teamwork and giving everyone a shot rather than focusing specifically only on one or two specific individuals.

And isn’t that what separates the heroes from Scarlet Lady?

But there’s a third important aspect of this episode.

This is the episode where Chloe is smacked in the face with Scarlet Lady’s falling popularity. 

Let’s remember that at the start of the comic, Scarlet Lady was fully and widely considered THE Hero of Paris. She was beloved for doing nothing and it was a point of frustration for Chat, who actually was having to pick up her slack. Initially, there was nothing he could do because him being the only real hero among the duo meant he often couldn't stick around after akuma fights to prevent Scar from telling "our story". In addition, he didn’t know who she was or who chose her and why. Then even when it was clear her getting the Earrings was a mistake, for a lot of the first couple seasons, she was so popular that they couldn’t just take the Earrings away from her lest they risk backlash from the rest of the city. It’s a backlash that seems increasingly unlikely as more and more people get to see her behavior and callousness firsthand.

We’ve seen hints of it in other episodes, but none of them were so blatant to Chloe that she couldn’t ignore it or shrug it off or otherwise make excuses to protect her ego.

Prime Queen wanted to focus on Marigold and Chat Noir for their “romance” to try and boost ratings. Alya and Lila made some snarky comments, but Chloe could easily dismiss them both. Nadja also made a comment that nobody cared about Scarlet’s love life, but a lack of interest in her love life isn’t a lack of interest in herself and Chloe despises both of her “sidekicks” and wouldn’t want anyone trying to pair her with them anyway. And Nadja reassures her that they’ll focus on her after they’re done with Chat and Marigold. So yes, she can dismiss that as well.

Reverser has Chloe faced with both of her identities are made as villains in art and a story. However, she clearly looks down on Nathaniel and Marc barely registers to her. So she can dismiss them.

Look at Despair Bear, the Intermission, the interactions with the various other heroes, and the fact that only Chat Noir and Marigold are privy to the Guardian’s secret existence and allowed to pass out other Miraculous. Much has been shown of the other characters being less than impressed with her, snarky towards her, or showing the process of how they discover the truth about her and how she actually handles akuma attacks…namely in that she doesn’t. And Chloe can dismiss all of that because to her, none of them really matter to her.

But Chloe can’t dismiss the fact that a renown celebrity dedicating a music video to the “Heroes of Paris” isn’t including her. Bad enough her sidekicks are taking center stage but she’s not even in the music video at all?

And when someone she despises calls out the reasons why she’s not a hero in an openly public setting surrounded by a multitude of people who all agree with her? You could say it’s insult to injury. But some would say it was a long time coming.

Some Rando: Scarlet Lady sucks! Alya: Marigold and Chat Noir do all the work, not her! Kagami: She’s barely even necessary at this point. Clara: This video and song are to celebrate hope and love. And Scarlet Lady lacks both when push comes to shove. Chloe: ARGHHH! WHATEVER!

It further shows the turning tide of public opinion against Scar. What was once a trickle has grown into a wave, and now Chloe is forced to acknowledge her image and status aren’t as ironclad as she thought. Sure, she could denounce Lila as a liar like she’s done before, but Lila is bringing up instances that Chloe can’t deny: being late (as she’s just plain been a no show to several fights), endangering civilians, and being caught live on camera being willing to let someone die in a particularly horrible way because it’s easier.

This is the episode where it’s not just people seeing Scar is horrible, but acting on it and letting Chloe know they know she’s horrible. It’s reached the point where Chloe can’t just disregard the claims or discount and ignore her critics. And we’re seeing Chloe starting to lose control as a result. To the point she has to force her dad to ruin a previously sanctioned event in what has to be one of his most flagrant displays of abuse of power to date just to shut down her detractors.

And even that would come with more consequences for Chloe if it had been allowed to continue. Sabrina herself points it out that Clara is very popular with a lot of fans—people who would be aware she’s making a music video and whom would be very disappointed if word got out that it was cancelled due to an issue with the Mayor. And given all the very unhappy people we see in the comic in question where she points that out, it stands to reason that the word would get out. Heck, I’d be surprised if someone wasn’t recording it.

Then there’s the love square/hero shenanigans.

Remember how in canon, the whole “playing themselves/risking identities” bit kinda just dropped out halfway in? The kwamis were the only authority figures involved to call out on the risk and of the two, Plagg didn’t care and Tikki gave one knowing stare at Marinette before turning around to gush about the suit. Even though Marinette offers the alternative idea to the music video by the end, there’s no further comment or notice of how she and Adrien nearly blew their identities….or alternatively a comedic take where nobody recognizes them regardless and they worried for nothing. Honestly, I would have taken either setup.

Having Fu present to call them both out shows there is a responsible authority figure watching, makes it clear there are rules they are expected to follow, and reinforces that this was, in fact, a horrible idea. Sure, Marinette and Adrien worried enough to hide their masks, but it should have been obvious that wouldn’t work long term. They are risking their identities, not just to Paris but to each other. And he calls them out for doing it on purpose.

Then there’s the beautiful crescendo of the love square dance in that the two both pretty much have figured out the other’s identity and just want an identity reveal to make it official—which Fu won’t allow. We see it in their playful banter that gets mistaken for “getting into character” and in Adrien in particular pushing Marinette to take part.

This is a point where we are seeing them be teenagers. Foolish of them? Yes. Should they have known better and not done it? Yes. But is it in character and the sort of teenage shenanigans we would expect of teenage superheroes? Definitely. And that’s part of the point. Because they are teenagers. Teenagers in love, no less. Teenagers in love with secret identities to dance around. Which is half the fun of secret identities!

It’s just another aspect to this episode that makes it enjoyable.

So overall, the episode matters in ways that the canon version didn’t and was fun in ways that the canon version wasn’t, making it stand out not just as an episode or a remake of the canon episode, but as its own standalone episode AND a noteworthy point in the overall story.

[writers-potion]

I have a character that is more of an entity than a human being, so he doesn’t have a heart, nor can he sweat or have any organs

It’s hard for me to describe things like “he felt his heart sink” or other expressions like that, since in the back of my mind I’m thinking “he doesn’t have a heart” ya know? Even if it’s figurative speech

My ask is: any tips on how I can describe his feelings in more impactful ways, working around the fact he’s not human? (Detail, he wants to be human)

Human Feelings for the Non-Human Character

So, I take it that you have a character who:

Lacks physiological features usually associated with expressing emotions,

But is overall humanoid, which means he doesn't have other special body features (like a tail that he can wag) that allows him to convey his feelings.

Limit the Range of Emotions

Does the fact that your character lacks organs mean that he cannot feel the full range of human emotions?

If yes, broadly categorize the emotion groups into: (1) Feelings he understands, and (2) Feelings he doesn't understand.

For Feelings Understood by Him:

Use body language

Use quirky habits

Use other body features

For Feelings NOT Understood by Him:

Describing shock, surprise and confusion

Borrow other characters' expressions

Use Body Language

Body language is a great indicator of emotion. Even if your character cannot truly feel the bodily effects of an emotion, he may exhibit the same body language displayed by normal humans. This is especially if he lives around other, "normal" people.

Instead of his "heart sinking", he may "start shaking", "feel his throat clench", "find himself wordless", "go completely still", etc. to express shock.

Use Quirky Habits

Describe a few quirky things that your reader can rely on to see how your character is doing. This is a good place to describe how he's different, or wants to be human, too.

Shredding tissue/paper to bits and eating it (I mean, he doesn't have organs, so I'm supposing he can't get sick from this) when he's nervous.

Listening to heartbeat sounds on YouTube when he's happy, imagining the sound coming from his chest.

Running non-stop for hours and hours when he's worried and want to clear his mind

Use Other Body Features

Even if he doesn't have typical body parts, we must make do with what he does have. Since he has fewer organs, all of his senses would be highly concentrated on those:

Feeling the fluids in his abdominal cavity churning when he's nervous (no organs, but I'm assuming his middle is filled with something?)

Feeling all the specific bones ache/creaking when he is angry

All of his hairs standing up, etc.

Describing shock, surprise and confusion

All other feelings that's not fully understood, or one that is being felt by him for the first time will just be shock and confusion.

In addition to the three strategies above, focus more on the mental panic that he will feel, being confronted with a situation where he doesn't know himself.

If he's in a situation where he desperately wants to feel what the others are feeling, make him try his best to mimic them, observing them in detail.

Borrow other characters' expressions

Just because someone doesn't feel something doesn't mean he cannot understand it logically. We humans "know" that we should be feeling a particular way in given situations even without sympathizing with the other fully.

Thus, let your character use stock phrases like "my heart sank" by borrowing the words of someone he spends a lot of time with. Perhaps his mother, who was afraid he'd get bullied as a child, actually taught him to express himself like others, memorizing the "right" emotional reactions like how you'd learn vocabulary.

Hope this helps! :)

[joaniejustwokeup]

DP x DC Prompt:

Summoning circles are more complicated than people give them credit for. They’re a bit like a mix between a thumb print, a name, a phone number, and a recipe; and at the same time, nothing like any of those things.

In reality, most summoning circles in spell books and ancient texts are incomplete, representing only a fraction of a particular spirit’s identity.

A complete circle will actually be a series of different summoning circles, with each concentric ring representing an aspect of the spirit’s identity and having individual requirements and/or offerings needed. Ghosts have an innate awareness of them and are able to draw and describe their requirements from any sort of inward reflection.

Ghosts will often give out incomplete circles as a means of communication and transportation. A single ring of the circle will only open the door, and each ring added makes the pull and connection to the summoner stronger. Ghosts will also sometimes use incomplete circles to mark and monitor their haunts and as a way of claiming territory.

A complete summoning circle will occasionally but inevitably change over time, as parts of the spirit’s identity change.

The circle will always be a closely guarded secret. This is because, much like giving your true name to the fae, giving out your full summoning circle will allow the summoner to not only capture you, but to command and control you.

After Danny was shown Dan’s future where he killed the world, he made Jazz memorize his complete circle and told her to use it if he ever turned evil. She thought he was being ridiculous, but learned the spell when she saw how frightened he had become of himself.

When the summoning circle of the Ghost King was added to his identity, he tried to make her memorize the new circle, only for her to flat out refuse, saying it’s not healthy for him to make these kind of contingencies. They get into a really bad fight and Danny flies off determined to find someone he can trust with his circle should he turn evil.

As he’s flying over his town he feels the slight tug on his consciousness indicating someone is trying to summon the Ghost King. He lets his awareness bleed through the summoning just enough to see that… yup it’s cultists again. At least there’s no sacrifices this time.

He’s about to shrug the summoning off like he has so many others when he suddenly sees someone fighting through the cultists. Oh! Make that several someones.

With a giddy sort of eagerness Danny watches Batman and his sidekicks cut through the crowd of religious fanatics, even taking down a couple that looked like they were using ghost-based magic. He’d always admired the Dark Knight, but seeing him fight in person is something else.

It’s as the hero is tying up the cultists and checking their injuries that a lightbulb goes off in Danny’s head, and, after a moment of steeling his determination, he lets himself be pulled through the summoning circle.

The Bats all tense up as the circle at the center of the room grows brighter, readying themselves for another fight. Danny tries to smile reassuringly as he feels his form materialize, though they likely can’t see it in the bright flash of light that accompanies it.

He frowns when he realizes the summoning had dressed him in his royal armor and cloak, the crown of fire burning above his head and ring of rage glaring from his right hand.

He tries raising his hands in an “I am not a threat,” pose, before realizing it looks exactly like the Box Ghost’s “Beware!” pose. He tucks his hands under his armpits, then awkwardly waves at the group of vigilantes.

“Hi there! Wow that was really cool- Thanks for taking care of these guys for me.”

The vigilantes once again tense up as Danny steps out of the circle towards them. Danny smiles sheepishly.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but I really need to talk to you, Batman.”

Batman steps forward, approaching Danny as he stands just outside the circle, a living shadow that looms larger than life. Still, Danny senses something soften in his gaze as he looks over the teenage Ghost King, stopping just out of reach of him. Danny gazes back at his childhood hero, hoping he’s making the right choice.

“I have a favor to ask of you.”

[prickly-paprikash]

There are two ways I see that SpyxFamily can go with the Authens.

Ever since we've been introduced to the world of SxF, last names have always been an indicator of who exactly it is we're dealing with.

The Forgers are literally a Forged Family. No-brainer.

Yor and Yuri Briar: both beautiful people but with sharp thorns to protect themselves and one another. Their coloring and their characters are related to Roses and Yor is literally Thorn Princess.

Fiona Frost: Ice Cold. Frosty Exterior. Snow Queen. Warm and melty and obsessed on the inside.

Franky Franklin: Frank, honest and blunt. He's always up-front with Twilight since the beginning. Franklin also comes from the word francos meaning 'free'. He's a free agent, allied with Twilight but not with WISE, since he is an Ostanian. He's also the first true free-thinker, holding no allegiance to any state but cares genuinely for the people around him.

The Desmonds: meaning South Munster, one of the provinces of Munster. While it doesn't necessarily have a defined meaning, it is said that the lucky number of this name is 11, and Damian is ranked 11th amongst 228 students for the exams. Neat.

So Authens, right? Sigmund and Barbara Authen. If Loid, Yor, Anya and Bond are a forged family, then Siggy and Barbs are an authentic one from the getgo. Ever since the introduction of these two, everyone has both been over-the-moon and skeptical. It's nice to add new members to the family in this show. It's nice to see a foil (and an insight into the future for them) to Yor and Loid, where the elderly couple are genuine in their love, while Twilight and Thorn Princess still struggle with what exactly their fake relationship entails. Sigmund and Barbara trust one another completely, while the Spy and the Assassin still have ways to go on that front.

Now, Anya is being tutored by Sigmund, a former University Professor, Lecturer and Neurologist. Similar to Loid in a way, who moonlights as a Psychiatrist. The Authens aren't just being shown as a "what could be" for Loid and Yor as a couple, but as parents and mentors as well as seen in this chapter.

Both Loid and Sigmund get into Spy Wars for the sake of educating their students. The difference however lies in the way they go about it.

Loid reads and watches the entirety of Spy Wars to show that he is a good father with a pulse on what his daughter likes, as well as an avenue for him to teach Anya since she responds well to the show. But Loid only memorizes the show and tries to brute force (relatively speaking) Anya's education with it.

Like... making a fake episode of the show just to try and make Anya interested in her studies.

Sigmund on the other hand really sparks a love and understanding for the material itself.

Loid tries to force Anya to see the value in education through cold logic and goal-oriented thinking. Anya should study to Prevent War from erupting between Ostania and Westalis. Sigmund guides Anya into seeing the worth of education by itself. The joys in learning for learning's sake. Loid tries a surface level approach, where Bondman's adventures are hamfisted edu-tainment. He thinks that since Anya likes Bondman, she'll be tricked into learning by using Spy Wars as a coat of paint to mask a really boring lecture.

Sigmud correctly identifies what Anya loves about the story itself, and then uses those elements to relate to classical language.

Loid and Yor are committed to their duties, but it doesn't necessarily bring them joy. To keep children safe and happy, Twilight will lie and Thorn Princess will kill, but their personal satisfaction isn't something they bother about. Sigmund, on the other hand loved his job. He loves teaching. He loves the altruistic element to it—cultivating minds, helping them along to their full potential, but he also has a personal joy in teaching.

Another thing is that Loid loves his family, but doesn't know he does and can't spit it out. He can come off stoic and cold. Sigmund readily shows his appreciation for his wife and for his new student Anya.

What troubles me now is what happens next.

Authen does mean authentic. I have no doubt that Sigmund authentically loves his wife. His love for his research is also authentic. His passion for teaching is authentic. His admiration for Anya is authentic.

But what's the context of this authenticity?

See, the first route is that Sigmund really is just a good guy. A simple, kind, brilliant man who probably had a hand in building Project Apple from the ground up with the goal of improving people's minds, starting with dogs. Maybe it was co-opted by corrupt officials, twisting it into a monstrous organization willing to harm children and animals to realize their goals for a powerful human weapon. A weapon that became Anya Forger. Sigmund and Barbara leave, aid in the war effort for civilians and victims, and make a life for themselves in Berlint. I do believe this might be the likelier option.

But what if the contrast between the Forgers and the Authens is taken to the extreme?

The second route takes advantage of the inherent and subtle darkness in SpyxFam. This manga is just a bundle of gooey joy, but that happiness successfully hides the brutal truth of the world. Every character in this show is touched by war.

Anya and Bond are intended as living weapons. We tend to forget about this since Anya is a goblin child and Bond is floofy goofball.

Twilight and Yor are orphans of war, turned into the most powerful soldiers on each side. We forget this since both are idiots when it comes to anything each other and their family.

Handler is a level-headed badass who radiates older sister vibes for everyone who works under her, and she genuinely cares for her agents. She's also a depressed wreck who barely functions outside of work and constantly relives the loss of her husband and daughter.

The Blackbells? Posh rich folk, right? But their money comes from warmongering. Martha, the kindly mother-figure/butler/security for Becky? A veteran of war. The seamstress who is fond of Yor? Most likely an anti-authoritarian activist, since Loid clocked her immediately as being arrested for political activity. Maybe a former Red Circus member. Bazooka Bill? Funny kid who hit puberty way too early and has a hilarious deep voice. He's also being groomed to be a venerated soldier at the age of six by his father, who has most likely committed war crimes.

SpyxFamily is genuine in its joyful moments. But it barely hides the darkness that constantly lingers. War is a shadow that haunts these bright pages, and it always recontextualizes the zany adventures our family goes on.

What if the Authens are like that?

Everything about them is authentic. But they're also twisted. An authentic love for neuro science can lead to an obsessive march towards human weaponry. An authentic desire for world peace can mean that the end justifies the means, even if that means a telepath that could, theoretically dominate an entire nation. An authentic love for his wife could lead him to hiding everything from her.

What if Sigmund Authen is authentic in every aspect of himself, and is still a man with a dark agenda? That would perfectly contrast Loid, a man who has faked every single element of himself down to his own name and identity, but has never once strayed from his goal of ensuring a bright future for the strangers around him?

What I'm saying is that it'd be really cool if Twilight, a living lie made human who will commit to any deception for the sake of children's safety and happiness would be heavily contrasted by Sigmund Authen, a man who lives so authentically to his creed that he is willing to put children in harm's way for the sake of World Peace?

With the upcoming chapters clearly focusing on Anya and her past, wouldn't it be cool to celebrate Spy x Family hitting 100 chapters by revealing more and more of its dark, haunting, war-torn world after more than a hundred chapters of Spy Family antics?

Uh... Anyway, here's Comedy by Gen Hoshino.

[thebibliosphere]

Hello Joy! If you're up for it, I've got a question for you. I've started writing a new story that I set in a world based on 1500's Scotland and I wanted the main characters to have Scottish accents, but alas I am from the American Midwest. Do you know of any resources or any people who could help me write my dialogue more accurately?

There are some resources for Scots English (like the the DSL), but I’m going to give you the advice I wish a lot of non-Scots people would use when it comes to writing historical Scottish accents: don’t.

The Scots language is not a monolith, and accents and dialect to this day vary greatly depending on region.

Most of the time even with research, what happens is a butchery of our language which borders on parody (sometimes even amped up by publishers because they want the Outlander effect) and is neither correctly spelled nor even phonetically accurate. A better way of writing accents/dialogue (and the way I tend to do it myself even when writing this sort of thing) would be to use regional and tone indicators.

So things like “he spoke with the broad, sweeping brogue of the lower west coast” or “her manner of speaking quickened with excitement, thickening her accent.”

If you want to use some Scots words, you can do so. Just make sure you look them up in the DSL and spell them correctly instead of making up your own.

A common phrase I like to use as an example for how to inject some Scots words into the dialect without murdering it would be the often very sarcastic “oh aye, so you think so?”

It’s a phrase often used when someone is blustering or maybe being a wee bit rude. Sort of like saying “oh really?” As you invite someone to keep digging their own grave.

I’ve seen it spelled every which way from “och aye, di’ye ‘ink sew?” (Pure jibberish, don’t do that) to the slightly more legible if not entirely accurate, “oh aye, dae ye think soe?”

Another could be something like, “oh aye, he’s muckle canny” to mean “oh yes, he’s very smart.” I’ve seen all of those words misspelled at one point, the most memorable being “och aye ‘e’s mochel cannae” which is just…

Canny is smart/capable while cannae means you can’t do something. (And muckle can be spelt mochell if you want to but some modern Scots readers will squint at it)

I tried explaining that what the author had written was the equivalent of “yes. he’s very can’t” but she wouldn’t listen and it went to print anyway. Agony.

Anyway, I mentioned the DSL up top so I suppose I should link to it.

Most of the recorded words there are from 17th century onward. There is an option to search prior to that, though it is limited.

There are surviving texts from the 1500s, though unless you want your work to be readable by a limited few, I wouldn’t try to imitate it. It’s mostly written in archaic Scots that’d be illegible to even modern Scottish readers.

If it’s something you intend to go to print with, I’d also suggest hiring a Scots sensitivity reader. They can make sure there’s nothing glaringly obvious with misspellings and also if they know their history, point out where something is off.

My favorite is when Scottish historical stories have potato scones in the 11th century, which begets the concept of agricultural time travelers, but alas, it’s never that interesting and just a factual error.

Anyway, I hope that was helpful and not discouraging. Please do write your story. Just don’t fall down the Outlander trap of writing nonsense and trying to pass it off as a language that still exists and for which there is recognized meanings and spelling. Which it sounds like you want to do, so yay! Thank you for wanting to be considerate and as accurate as can be.

[sgiandubh]

Not your previous anon, so don't impel me. 😉

Interesting that you believe C to be a "very, very good actress" but S is a "gifted actor".

From what I've seen of both, I think that C was blessed with innate talent and her versatility is eye-catching.

S is good but not memorable. He doesn't command the screen. And, I say this after watching most of his projects. Outside OL, he hasn't impressed. To me, he's himself in all. Same facial tics that we've noticed since S1. After Suspect, I had little hope for TCND because the same director was in charge. Unfortunately I was right. S was no better than before. I'd advise him not to work with Dries Vos anymore. He's awful. At this point I'm not sure it's just the inferior roles S takes but that it has more to do with his limited acting abilities. After 10 years I hoped for better.

Dear Not Memorable Anon,

How ironic. A very recent comment I had the imprudence to post in one of my threads, basically wishing for 'more complex roles ' for S immediately attracted me an insult from someone (it does not matter who, but a shipper or rather a fencer, I should say), who thought I was a 'brainless moron'. I still do not understand why and I did explain what I meant.

I see great potential in S and you seem to forget the grueling schedule they have because of OL, forcing them to refuse a lot of pitched projects. Her choices were probably better oriented, bearing in mind that I only saw her in Belfast, outside OL, and was underwhelmed with the whole movie, but enthusiastic enough with her. As for him, let's say that When the Starlight Ends was a tragic BS all the way, but also a wonderful, totally disinterested gesture of kindness towards a personal friend. The rest, I am not interested to see and I still wish for that breakthrough movie project allowing him to: a) emancipate his image from (yes, fellow insulting blogger!) the very complex OL/JAMMF formula and b) explore something else than action movies with lots of muscle. TCND was not that bad, but not nearly good enough. Yet, he is still around and he works and people watched him. All these are very good news for a very volatile market, post strike. Oh, and I almost forgot about Love Again - haven't seen it and I suspect it is forgettable.

That being said, I hope you realize that all these opinions, mine and yours alike, are completely personal and subjective. On the other hand, any indicators measuring audience are exactly that: numbers and statistics. It's exactly like discussing a Jackson Pollock painting: you might think it's the cat's meow. However, I might also think it's someone who randomly kicked a bunch of cans with paint on a canvas. And then smeared everything with the demented energy of a 5 year old, left to his/her own devices:

So I am not going to impale you, Anon. My fellow, Vlad, here, might have, though:

Those guys were Ottoman envoys. It is a relief to be able to confirm, as a diplomat with a severe bout of insomnia, things did really change somewhat, since 1499.

Don't push your luck, though.

[somestorythoughts]

Eldritch Echo - Part 7

I return. There are explanations here! The kind that answer the what and not the why, but explanations nonetheless. Someone also asks if they can eat the Chancellor, but I promise he doesn't actually want to eat him. That much corruption definitely tastes nasty. Also @mezmatch I'm not sure if I've been tagging correctly but hope this is visible.

In Coruscant, CMO Blood ignores the way the wall across from him peels away from the emerging face with stone eyes and needle-long fangs. He’s stitching a gash in the leg of one of his Corries and isn’t about to pause to look at a dramatic ARC.

“Sitrep?”

“I’ve finished with the Guard. The slicers developed something, but they were debating how to send it out last night. I don’t know if they’ve decided yet. And you?”

“I’ve got the files. Three copies with me, three with the medics you directed me to on Kamino. You sure we can’t-”

“I didn’t know you wanted to be a cannibal so badly.”

“I don’t, I’m just saying that if we ate him we’d be extra sure he wouldn’t survive.”

“A beheading is just as effective and less gross.” Blood replied, leaving the unconscious vod so he could wash his hands. “Give me one of those copies and then keep yourself busy for the next two hours. The meeting is in two and a half, and we need you to play your part in this plan.”

ARC Trooper Fives grins, eager and angry. “Don’t worry Blood. I’ll be there.”

…

In the Marauder, Wrecker approaches Echo, who’s been reading for the past hour. “We’re gonna talk about what we know about your thing. I thought you’d want to know, and since you’d probably listen in anyway I should just invite you?”

“Thanks Wrecker.” Echo replies. He’d been listening to their conversations as much to know if they wanted to kick him out as to see how their investigation was going. As a twin he’s used to looking strange from time to time, but there’s strange and there’s forcibly and painfully altered before being used to kill vod. He’s growing comfortable with his new limbs and his new team, but he hasn’t fully reached comfortable yet. And he thinks it’s mutual, maybe especially now that he’s been messing with them.

But hiding it isn’t a long-term solution, not on a ship this small. The Bad Batch says they like weird. If they’re honest about that, his tendency to occasionally grow claws and turn blue shouldn’t be a problem.

He catches Hunter’s eye when he follows Wrecker in and the Sergent shrugs. Crosshair gives Echo his usual scowl, which he uses for everything from inconvenient terrain to burned coffee, so that’s probably not too bad. “Any chance you’ll just give us an answer?”

“It’s payback.” Echo grins, needle-sharp for all of a second. “For those two times you forgot I hadn’t memorized your plans yet. And the smell of the ship. It’s also entertaining.”

“Your plans are the same kind of crazy don’t deny it.” Hunter sighs. “Can you at least agree not to lie if we ask?”

“I never lied. Not for these questions.” And it’s true. Crosshair may have gotten nowhere with his questions, but every answer Echo had given had been either blatantly ridiculous or true but vague. He’d gotten a lot of entertainment out of it this week.

“We should start by reviewing what we know.” Tech states. “Echo has some form of deviancy from the Prime that expresses itself in multiple ways. They mostly appear to be physical but has also included using his shadow to eavesdrop and talk to us when he was in another room.” He paused, then glanced up. “Incidentally, could you use that to scout ahead?”

Echo made a so-so gesture. “Depends on the terrain. I wouldn’t recommend it over someone scouting ahead in person, but it’s helped before. And I’m not separate from my shadow, I can’t pay attention to what’s in front of me and what’s in front of my shadow at the same time.”

“That is good to know.” Tech replied. “We have seen multiple examples of your shape changing in small ways, not enough to indicate your limits, though from your comment about your prosthetics I believe you either cannot alter them or are still learning how to. Is that correct?”

“Yeah.”

“Could you elaborate?”

Echo tilts his head back, frowning. He’s tried to put words to this before, he likes words, and he’s trying to remember what he’d thought then. “The changing is a bit like a reflex. You can stop it – we all did our best too while we were on Kamino – but it’s also partly automatic. My body’s still adjusting to the prosthetics so they don’t change as much on their own, and I’m still adjusting mentally, so it takes a little more effort to do something like this.”

He raised his right arm. The scomp end split apart into something like a flower, Torrent blue with red stripes.

“There are more of you then.” Hunter states.

Echo smiled, bittersweet. The sweet glowed under his irises, the bitter ached in his throat and bruised his skin as if it was trying to do more than metaphorically suffocate him. “It’s never a good idea to assume you’re entirely alone in the universe. The first pair were decommissioned within their first year. The Kaminoans like uniformity, and from what Ninety-Nine told me that first pair was way off the mark. He said it was as if all of us that came later got the message somehow, our differences were quieter as tubies. But we’ve never adhered to uniformity well.”

Echo, who found comfort in the kind of quiet minute detail-work that was essential but considered boring, who had been threatened a time too many with decommissioning, and who was often overshadowed by his louder twin, had been an exception to that norm. Not anymore.

“And who’s we?” Crosshair asked.

As fun as this game has been, he might as well wrap it up. “We’re twins Crosshair. Myself and Fives, Cobalt and Cerulean, you know that absurdly cheerful medic in the 212th? He’s another.”

“But what is a twin when we’re all clones?”

Echo shrugged. “We just are. You know how you know how to reassemble a blaster, effortlessly and thoughtlessly? It’s like that but without the endless drills. Or the way most batches pick oldest and youngest by vibes. Each twin in a set was decanted on the same day, and when we find each other, we know. Fives I, I don’t remember meeting him and if he says he does he’s lying but, we’ve always known. Someone suggested there was Force stuff involved and it’s as good an explanation as any, but I don’t think any of us knows the why of it.”

Tech and Crosshair shared a glance before Tech said, almost hesitantly, “I read the report of ARC trooper Fives’ death. But you always talk about him in the present.”

Echo’s next breath shudders. “I, I would know. He’s the other half of my soul and I would know if he was truly gone. There was this shiny in Torrent a bit before the Citadel called Dogma. He’d lost his twin a few months before being sent out and I think the only thing keeping him going was his remaining batcher and his extreme loyalty to the Republic. He told him that he felt his twin die from all the way across Tipoca City. So I’d know.”

The squad glances at each other uncertainly and anything they might have said interrupted by a beeping from the console. Tech hurried to the pilot’s seat and Hunter sighed. “Mission time boys.”

Echo shoved up from the seat. Time to get to work.

[leastrifedraws]

Thinking about how tragic Axel is

Axel has got to be one of my favorites if not my favorite in kingdom hearts (surprise surprise I stole his name) and out of what I’ve seen people talk about how tragic Saïx and Roxas are and mention Axel when they do that but I feel like Axel doesn’t really get talked about individually typically only side by side with Saïx and Roxas

(Side note. Xion should also be talked about more but this post is about Axel rn and I will potentially talk about Xion in a later post)

Axel lost everything important in his life and the worst part is that for the most part that only happened cause he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. There’s nothing specific about Axel himself that requires him to be in the organization he was simply in proximity to Apprentice Xehanort at the time of the organization’s creation.

Starting with the first things he lost, his heart, his home world, and Isa, this doesn’t get talked about enough either these two lost their home. And they were only teenagers which is at a crucial point in development and loosing their hearts I like to headcanon essentially stopped this. (Again a post for a later time which will include Ienzo). Axel lost all of those crucial growing up years which will definitely affect him down the line and it kind of does. He also lost Isa. Maybe Saïx didn’t jump right on into the organization with clipboard in hand, but from what we can gather he was already trying to get in with Xehanort as he could’ve been their link to X, so I imagine Saïx would close himself off from Axel pretty quickly to prove himself to Xemnas. Leaving Axel alone. As opposed to members 2-6 (who were already close and who continue to be close as we can see in the 358manga and Lexeaus clearly cares about Zexion in CoM) who all still had each other in some sort of way, Axel didn’t have anyone because his only line of support in the organization would have been Saïx, but Saïx turned him away in favor of Xemnas (I know Saïx was doing this for him and Axel and did secretly care, but this is from Axel’s perspective and from his point of view Saïx is just cutting him off)

So for 10+ years not only has Axel lost his heart and his world, and his only line of support and I don’t think without hearts it’s very easy to bond with the others

Any of the others, not just the apprentices. We don’t get any indication Axel is close to anyone up until he meets Roxas and Xion. There’s nothing in any of the games indicating he has, nothing I’ve seen in the mangas (he does hang out in groups, but not often and never one on one with anyone other than Saïx, Roxas, or Xion) and I don’t have any of the other books.

“Why does he bond with Roxas and Xion then and not the others?” Thank you me for asking, the answer for Roxas is because of Ventus, and Xion is because he didn’t get much of a choice.

The following paragraph is mostly speculation/headcanon, but I feel like makes sense.

Axel who just lost everything from his old life including his best friend is now presented with this kid who looks exactly like someone he knew when he still had a heart. New name and outfit but this is the closest he’s gotten to having anything from his old life. And on top of that he was also ordered to watch over Roxas so he was kinda just pushed into spending time with him and when Roxas starts showing more emotion of course Axel is going to be invested. And Axel was incredibly hesitant to be friends with Xion but because of Roxas he did and he started to bond with her as well.

Things finally start looking up and then of course he looses everything again. And this time he looses one the things that he was put such a strong importance on. His memories. Not only did he loose Xion but he lost the memories of her. He tells Saïx he wants everyone he meets to remember him and he is constantly telling people to memorize things, and memories are incredibly important in this universe and Axel understands that. He’s also started to develop a heart again it seems when we see how desperate he was for Roxas not to fight against Xemnas. He will miss Roxas when no one else will.

Twice has Axel lost everything.

Throughout Kingdom Hearts 2 we see him trying to fix things in multiple different failed ways, tries going and getting Roxas and bringing him back, kidnaps Kairi, and then helps Sora in the end before falling to the Heartless, and it’s so sad especially because at this point Axel still believes Saïx doesn’t care about him despite Saïx showing (tiny) concern about Axel to Sora. Axel is just struggling to stay afloat at this point until he finally gives out at the end just to make sure Sora can stop Xemnas.

And then he wakes up to find out Xemnas hasn’t been stopped. Lea is alive again with his heart and emotions back, but he still has no one. Isa is still gone and not with the rest of them, and Roxas and Xion are still trapped in Sora’s heart. So deciding to try and do the right thing in hopes of getting Roxas out of Sora’s heart he becomes a keyblade wielder which causes him to come face to face with all of his mistakes. He has to face Kairi now being able to feel guilt. And it’s clear Lea is beating himself up over it. He’s on the right track but he’s still not doing good. Ie. breaks into tears over not remembering who Xion is and missing someone he doesn’t know. (Man that scene 😭)

Then he has to fight Saïx and Xion. He has to fight his best friend and the ending of that fight. Ahhh. Axel has to hold Saïx in his arms dying and even if he knows Isa will come back it’s still sad.

And finally we get to the end(ish) of his arc and he’s doing alright now with heart and friends back, but he’s still carrying the weight of so much and please I am fragile about this man.

I will go feral about the character who’s name I chose for so long and you cannot stop me anyway yeah he’s so traumatized and I need people to talk about that more because I feel like people focus on Saïx’s tragedy than Axel’s even though they’ve both lost so much

[ssentimentals]

jeonghan + ice skating

jeonghan is a confident guy. sometimes he gets borderline cocky but usually it happens if he's hundred percent sure in something. ice skating is not something he's sure in at all so, to be honest, no one was more surprised than him when he asked you out with the 'you, me, ice skating. sounds good?'. his impulsiveness got better of him but in his defense he has two things going: first, he really, really wanted to ask you out for a rather long time and second, he overheard you saying how excited you are for the opening of the ice rink and jeonghan is many things, but dumb is not one of them. of course he seized the opportunity, which led him here. and honestly? he's not very proud.

there are at least five couples on the rink and they all look like they are having the best time, if the constant laughter can be the indicator. jeonghan is not sulking but he is jealous; every single person skates so well and he barely can hold himself upright. in his head everything looked so romantic but now that he can see you coming to him, he's afraid he missed a very important detail - his complete incompetence in ice skating. you wobble towards him, holding handrails tightly and while it's cute, he's honest to god afraid for both of yours physical wellbeing.

'it's so crowded!' you exclaim, looking around. jeonghan can't look away even though he knows he should at least give a glance to the surroundings; your eyes are shining and you're smiling widely and maybe - just maybe - this idea's not that bad. 'since we both are awful in this, do you want to take those skate helpers?'

'i can teach you,' jeonghan says confidently and when you stare at him in shock, he quickly adds: 'i read five articles about this.'

'which makes you a pro now?' you ask, trying your hardest not to laugh. 'you're barely standing too!'

'my dear, confidence is the key!' hannie exclaims dramatically, making you smile. 'now, give me your hand and don't worry. i won't let anything happen to you.'

jeonghan's heart flutters when you take his hand without any hesitation, telling him to lead the way. he tries his best: puts on a brave face and in a teacher voice tells you all that he memorized. it turns out to be fun, really. it's easy when you get along with all his ideas, picking up on his jokes easily. it's easy to be silly with you, jeonghan feels like he can breathe with his whole chest, like he can actually be himself and you'll accept him fully. he tries his best to be charming but it seems like it's him who's falling for your charms instead; your laugh tightens his chest, your touch sends him in a frenzy, your smile makes him swoon. he holds you tightly and keeps telling you it's for your own safety, hiding the fact that he just likes having you this close.

'i can go by myself!' you proclaim after thirty minutes, feeling pretty confident.

jeonghan looks around at all of the people who are picking up their speed while skating in circles and frowns: 'maybe not here? that corner is empty.'

'you've been set on protecting me from people all this time,' you chuckle. 'i can protect myself, look!' you let go of his hands, all set to show what you learned.

jeonghan swallows dryly, eyes focused on your retreating figure and all of the people around who are way too fast and some of them are even skating backwards and-

'careful!' he shouts, rushing forward and forcefully yanking you on his chest in order to prevent a clash with another guy. 'oh my- are you okay?'

it takes you two some minutes to find the balance and jeonghan can't feel his arms from where you're clutching on them so hard. breath coming out in puffs, you look up at him with an open mouth, not sure what to say. at last you nod and jeonghan sighs in relief, helping you stand upright. 'i know i can't protect you from everything, but i wish you'd let me protect from the things i can control.'

he fixes your hat with his hand, looking at you fondly. your eyes glaze over a little and he smiles at your pink cheeks; he's sure thy are not only due to cold anymore. 'thank you,' you quietly murmur.

jeonghan smiles, taking your hands into his. there are words on the tip of his tongue, little confessions that are ready to burst from his heart but he's holding back. what he said before is already a little too much, he can tell by your obvious embarrassment. 'well,' he says a bit too loudly, 'ready for a race? if you win i'll go on another date with you and if i win then you'll go on another date with me. deal?'

you blink at him, starting to laugh. 'this was such a jeonghan thing to say, you have no idea.'

'really?' he grins. 'know me well then, don't you?'

at this you stick your tongue out. 'better than you know me, mister. try to keep up!'

jeonghan laughs and counts to four before he also heads off towards you. your laughter rings in his ears and he thinks that this whole ice skating thing may not be such a horrible idea, after all.

a/n: this was such a cute request, i hope you liked it @sugarbearhyuck <3 my other works can be found by this link - nini

tag list: @smalliechelle @jaetaimjadore @woozionascooter @yeow6n @pearlygraysky

[mistype360]

mbti and enneagram typing for @loupdelta

this blog will forever be beach themed

mbti: estj (ne heavy)

let’s begin with your thinking/feeling functions: te/fi. the questionnaire started off describing how you liked your job because of it’s thinking and logical aspects, which is the embodiment of higher placed thinking functions. there are also moments where you briefly convey te traits. for example, desiring logical consistency in life, and hating changing your mind unless absolutely unnecessary. 

what leaned me towards te over ti was your relationship with authority. like many mbti types high in thinking, you find yourself logically critical of rules inflicted upon you. in response, you evaluate these rules against your own framework of logic and thought, which could indicate either te or ti. the key difference, however, is that you aren’t heavily influenced by your environment, and don't easily change this framework of logic. you even have clear expectations for how authority should behave, which is more characteristic of te.

even then, the inferior fi is pretty clear. you mention that it takes a long time for you to process your emotions. emotions may be worrying for you due to their importance (te and fi). you are also a very “consequence’ oriented type, as you described in dealing with emotions, indicating you prioritize objective functions, particularly te. 

for your intuitive functions, it really came down to wether you were higher in si, or ni, with si winning out for a couple reasons (listed from least to most important/impactful) 

you’re good at memorizing, esp for pleasure 

need practical experience to master something (sensory>intuition)

doesn’t like doing things at random, or being in an unpredictable situation 

sometimes enjoy taking risks (tertiary ne – boredom functions silliness)

in art and writing you are messy spontaneous (again, tertiary ne expressing itself) 

prefers to know consequences of actions or situation 

regains energy in predictable environment (but gets bored because of tertiary ne) 

tertiary functions are the playground function in one's stack, almost like one's inner child. they are "cognitively comforting," a source of balance in day-to-day life that can often be categorized as tiring or draining.

also, the way you use ne is very playful. at a “high,” you enjoy meeting new people, doing new things, or getting opportunities. even you yourself describe ne behavior as a way to refuel when life gets repetitive (te-si). any “big picture” or intuitive-imitating traits likely stem from te, rather than ne.  

this is also why i am not typing you as an entj or even intj. i don't see you using a lot of ni in comparison to your ne. if anything, i would alternatively type you as an intp or even entp, as i am much more sold on your sensory/intuition functions rather than your thinking/feeling functions. (i elaborate more at the very bottom of this post)

the biggest argument against si would probably be your “clumsiness” (using hands, breaking things on accident, daydreaming often). this is again, probably ne. or alternatively, this is just a lack of se in your stack. even if you show these traits, you also show a lot of te and si working together as dominant and auxiliary functions (impatient when physical tasks don’t work out, doesn’t like vague questions, hyper aware of resources and time, etc etc).

enneagram: 3w4 sp/so, 3w4 5w6 9w8 (356)

alternative enneagram: 6w5 ??/sp 638

your primary type is most likely sp3 (pretty obvious so i'll keep the explanation brief):

afraid of weaknesses being shown (slight 8)

like to motivate, energize, and "foster a cooperative environment" (could be sp3 but you only do this when necessary it seems)

focused on achievements

afraid of failure

pragmatic almost

the wing for the 3 was pretty unclear for me. you are not very prideful in either the 2 or 4 sense. i went with 4, as i don't see that much on shame or something that indicates 2 with your relationships with those around you.

also, somewhere in your tritype, there's a 5 fix. if it's not your core type, than it is definitely a strong fix, especially when winged with 6. from what you describe, regaining energy when alone is indicative of sp5. the interest in learning about how the brain works or understanding how others think aligns with the traits of a 5w6 or 6w5. you also say that some questions are vague, which checked out with how meticulous a 5 can be sometimes. lastly, not liking when things get out of hand, and often indirectly take control of a situation is 5w6.

in my opinion, you have a stronger enneagram 9 influence than you might realize. while you don't fit the stereotypical image of a 9, this aspect of your personality seems to be a fallback mechanism or a way to handle trivial or quick decisions. the desire for an independent life with peace and the fear at being betrayed by loved ones could hint at type 6.

bonus: socionics!

socionics is not my strong suit but dichotomy-wise, you are obstinate over yielding definitely. you are also a little bit more far sighted and logical>ethical. this means you are most likely LII or ILI, maybe even LSE just to match your mbti

[maskedpeach]

Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth Rant

Warning. This article contains spoilers. Alas, this post is an enormous wall of text and consists purely from me complaining. Get the children away from the screen.

Okay, I’ll probably regret this later, but I’ll post this anyway. Years ago I used to be pretty vocal about my opinion, but these days I prefer to keep most of the negative opinions to myself. But I believe if I’d keep everything bottled up on this one particular matter I’ll simply explode.

I’m currently enthusiastically playing Like a Dragon/Yakuza series, which is now one of my favorite game series. Back at high school used to play first two games on PS2, and later there was Kurohyo on PSP, but didn’t get too far in any of them, decided save it for later, and this “later” has finally happened several months ago after listening to one pretty entertaining podcast about JPRGs. One of the hosts has totally sold me Yakuza: Like a Dragon (I’ve literally ran and bought it after listening the podcast). I’ve played it, loved it and almost cried my eyes out on the ending (seriously, if someone asks me how my ideal JRPG should look like, I’d say that’s the one).

After that I’ve beaten Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth. I’ve really enjoyed this game in general, but comparing to its predecessor, while most of the gameplay issues were fixed, some story issues did arise. Story itself is far more simple and lacks memorable antagonists (Ebina was okay and Bryce was outright lame). Still, there were a plenty of interesting moments to keep me going, and I really liked the ending, which was extremely moving, the part before the ending credits I mean. And then this stupid love confession scene happened and completely ruined the mood for me. Seriously, it wasn’t funny, it was tasteless like in the worst romcoms.

And, well, here lies the main issue with Infinite Wealth for me - this poorly-written romance subplot between Ichi and Saeko, and how Saeko character is handled in this game in general. So, if you are the fan of her I suggest you to stop reading right here, right now.

First, I would like to point that, when Saeko was just an optional romantic interest in LaD it was perfectly fine, but in IW, where she became the designated love interest, the whole romance plotline became very forced and uncalled-for. In LaD they were simply on friendly terms with no indication of evident romantic interest, and in IW the whole “Ichi falling for Saeko” thing looks extremely out of nowhere. All interactions between them look artificial without real chemistry between characters. Seriously, every time Ichi says, that he loves her or have feelings for her, it sounds hardly believable, like he is trying to convince himself and the players. At moments like this I could almost imagine something like this:

RGG Studio staff: *gives Ichi the script* Start reading.

Ichi: But that’s a bunch of bullshit!

RGG Studio staff: *points a gun on Ichi* Start reading. Now.

To be honest, I’m not the fan of romance genre at all and I mostly view romance sublots in various media as a nuisance. Still I won’t deny that there are some romantic storylines I genuinely enjoyed and was rooting for the characters till the very end (like Alphen and Shionne from Tales of Arise or Oswald and Gwendolyn from Odin Sphere for example), but there are still very few of the quality romantic stories to my liking comparing to those, which are either okay or boring at the best, and unbelievably stupid or outright unhealthy (and stupid) at the worst.

Worst of all, that RGG Studio actually can write a decent romance subplot. And I believe that Yakuza 0  is a good example of this. There we have Goro Majima (who is my second most favorite character in the series, after Ichi) and Makoto Makimura (who belongs to one of my least favorite character archetypes-“damsel-in-distress”, but considering her condition and the fact that everyone is after her, she really does need help and protection). In their story there wouldn’t be a single “I love you” or “I have feelings for you” or any other needless words, they just go through many shit together and slowly develop feeling for each other, which is shown very subtly through finely directed cutscenes. They don’t get together in the end (which is pretty logical, considering everything, that’s happened), but this plotline gets pretty heartwarming conclusion in Kiwami 2. But if they actually did get together I wouldn’t mind at all, even though Makoto isn’t one of my favorites, simply because their story is well-written and makes sense.

Alright, back to Ichi and Saeko. Let’s start with the infamous “proposal-on-the-first-date” scene, I won’t deny that it was awkward as hell (I was like: “Ichi, please, just shut up.”), but Saeko’s reaction wasn’t one of the mature woman either. I would’ve understood her reaction if they’d barely knew each other, in that case it would’ve been perfectly natural. But they know each other pretty well by this point (three years, no less) and she knows that he tends to speak his mind and has zero experience with women. I believe, she could’ve always say something like:”Hold on, let’s not rush things.”, I’m sure he would’ve understand. But no, she just runs away and leaves him hanging. And when, thanks to Adachi and Nanba, Ichi realizes, what he did wrong, he goes and apologizes. Saeko seemingly accepts the apology, says that they are still friends, and that as a friend she will support him no matter what. And what Saeko does next? She ignores Ichi for a whole year. And when he loses his job and becomes pariah thanks to Tatara Channel, only Adachi and Nanba go and check up on him. When she finds out, she doesn’t even bother to send something like: “Are you okay?” or whatever. And that’s after all the crap they’ve went through in LaD. A “true friend”, nuff said.

Oh, and you know what’s rich? In her Drink Link (I did it only for the achievement and to see whether she actually expresses any remorse at all, spoiler-no) it is revealed that, the whole year she was ghosting Ichi, she was dating some obvious bastard, who was manipulating her into marrying him to get her money and business. Funny, how she didn’t see that until he went and said it himself. Another fun fact, that in some random dialogues she actually asks Kiryu and Nanba how Ichi is doing, only to add something like: “Not that I care.”. Seriously, her whole attitude towards Ichi is so fucked up and can easily be described as emotional abuse. If I were him I would’ve dismissed her after that year of ghosting and just forgot about her. And the last, but not the least, everyone either criticizes or mocks Ichi because of this stupid proposal, but no one criticizes Saeko for her craptastic treatment of him.

Also putting romance aside, I believe Saeko has nothing to offer as a character. In LaD she was an okay character, albeit with the little to zero relevance to the main plot. I believe RGG Studio has added her only for the sake of adding at least one playable girl in the party full of dudes to expand the audience, since Eri is an optional character and you can beat the game without even getting her in the team. Speaking of Eri, while she is totally unimportant to the main storyline, she is still much more likeable and fleshed out character than Saeko, and more useful in battles too.

In IW Saeko became much worse. As I see it, her portrayal is something of a strong and independent woman. And it does not withstand any criticism. Even in LaD there were some optional dialogues, were she is mocking other party members in a form of a joke. In IW she is even more immature. For example, remember how in LaD she refused to go with you in cabaret club ( I mean, where you can order a hostesses)? In IW Seonhee tags along with the guys in the same club (because, why not?), and Saeko decides that she is going too, even though she is not interested in the stuff. And there is more instances (all optional dialogues though), where someone does something, she clearly disapproves, but everyone else in party does, and she decides to do it too. I believe, that being strong and independent actually means having an opinion of your own and not caring about what others would think about you. While both Seonhee and Chitose really can be described as strong women, Saeko only seems like one, but in reality she is just pathetic. When it comes to main story in IW-she can be easily removed from all cutscenes, because most of the time she either all bark no bite (strong and independent woman, uh-huh) or just stands there. Looks like RGG Studio simply didn’t know what to do with her after LaD and wrote all this pseudo-romantic crap simply to justify her presence in IW. For me it sure didn’t work, I felt utterly disgusted with her the whole game. I wish they would just wrote her out entirely from the story. While in LaD she was only one non-optional girl in the party, in IW we have two more well-developed female characters, who, unlike Saeko, are actually important to the plot.

I’ve read somewhere that RGG Studio is currently working on the next installment in the series. I have no idea, what it’ll be about, but I really wish that they’d just drop the idea of getting Ichi and Saeko together for the sake of it. It seriously looks like the cupid on drugs is garroting the poor guy with the red string. To be honest, I’m not exactly excited about new installment at all. Saeko stuff aside, for me IW is the fitting conclusion to the series. I seriously don’t see what else could be added to the main story, since all the major storylines got a closure by that point. I only wish for Kiryu to heal his cancer and for Ichi to get his job back (and the same goes for Majima, Saejima and Dojima, since I don’t remember anything said about it in the ending), and for both of them to live in peace for the rest of the days. They’ve had enough shit in their lives already.

[barananduen-blog]

Top Nine TV Shows tag game

Was invited to do this by @lovesickfolly I'm going to do it with cdramas, bc that's what I'm into lately, but if anyone wants to do this, you can do it with any kind of show.

My top nine cdramas, in no particular order...

Before I begin, I should probably point out that I'm more "plot" over "ship." I like ships, but usually as a means to showing character depth; they're not the thing I tend to focus on the most.

What these nine have in common is:

good plot and writing - not just the plot, but the storytelling

3D characters who are also likeable

hooked my attention - my mind didn't wander while watching, AND I wanted to watch more than one episode in a row

memorable

I'm going to include another indicator, too. If it "got" me good enough to make me make fanart: 🎨lol I mean, I'm SLOW. If I was willing to dedicate days/weeks to make a drawing out of it, that's SOMETHING. lmao

1 - Word of Honor🎨

Martial arts adventures (+ a steampunk sect), BL.

This was the first cdrama I watched, and I loved it and it still has a special place in my heart. I rewatched along later with @ginsoakedgirl80 and it was as enjoyable to watch the 2nd time as it was the 1st.

Awesome story and characters, beautiful scenery. And it gave me my first two favorite drama actors.😆*cough* My fav characters were, in order: Ye Baiyi and the Scorpion King. My fav actors, the same two, but reversed; I like comedians, OK? XD

Just a word of advice to anyone planning to try this: I don't know why the opening scenes character-dump on you; most of those people aren't even that important. Just learn Prince Jin and Zhou Zishu (a few others will show up later, but you can learn them then), and then start learning names only once Zhou Zishu becomes a homeless drunk man.

2 - The Taoism Grandmaster (technically, I have a drawing WIP, but it'll probably stay a WIP)

If the Triwizard Tournament from Harry Potter and a Final Fantasy video game had a child in ancient China, you'd get this, complete with items shop before boss battles (the store ox is so cute!).

No but look, this is like my gremlin child. I'm not a fast watcher, but this is the only one which I binged so many episodes in a row, that it made me lose track of time, and before I knew it, it was past 2am on a weeknight and I had work the next day. I may have made it to 4am one of those nights; I don't remember. After it happened twice, I had to set an alarm. Have also watched twice+

Yes, the CG is bad, the costumes were cheap sometimes, and the plants did not pretend to not be plastic, but I love the story. It's well written and has so many details and ways things tie together. And THE CHARACTERS! They're all lovable dorks AND I LOVE THEM!

3 - The Legendary Life of Queen Lau🎨

Romcom.

AAAAAAAAA!! I love comedy and this was GREAT in that sense! Really had me laughing out loud every episode! This is one to watch more for the funny and ingenious situations than for plot, but it was SO enjoyable, I'd even watch them do slice of life. So cute, so fun, love it love it love it!!🥰 Another one that I rewatch whenever I need something uplifting and cute. Also, one of my two favorite OSTs. So uplifting and danceable!

Alright, those are my top 3. The ones I'm sentimental for. The stuff I squee over. But I have 16 starred on my list as excellent / recommendable, so let's have six more.

4 - Song of Youth

Case-solving; mini-cases and the one overarching one.

I loved the format of one case per couple of episodes, so it was broken up into smaller chunks. Super interesting and creative - each case was solved in an unconventional way, which was fun and engaging. All the actresses did a fantastic job. The jewelry, props, lighting, etc. were absolutely beautiful.

5 - The Blood of Youth🎨

Martial arts adventures with a group of friends.

Story: 💯Characters: 💯 Fights: 💯 Visuals: 💯OST: 💯

Xiao Se as the tired babysitter I love him! Wuxin! OMG Wuxin as the sassy fake monk who monologues before every fight and people just let him. I love him! (Wuxin spinoff, please! and I love his theme song!) The whole cast is gorgeous and acted wonderfully, so no sacrificing talent for looks; these people had both in spades. The supporting cast, too. OMG Baily Dongjun and the thunder guy!😍 It had funny moments. Mr. Sikong! The fights were SO creative... how many ways can you design a martial arts fight?? Way more than I thought! No two were similar; it was amazing, the creativity.

As an artist, I really enjoyed the cinematography... the scenery, lighting!! composition, all absolutely gorgeous. Those shots of Xiao Se with soft backlighting? Chef's kiss. And, as a photographer, I know they're not as easy to achieve as it looks. Alright, this one got 2 paragraphs already; need to move on, but watch if you haven't. It's on YouTube.

6 - Till the End of the Moon

Doomed love fantasy; watch them struggle against themselves and their destiny.

THIS IS SO GOOD!! The story is great, excellent plot and pacing. Characters are 3D and always surprising. Gorgeous costumes (Tantai Jin's especially! And the clam clan makeup!), sets, and special effects. THE SOUNDTRACK IS EMBEDDED IN MY BRAIN IT'S SO GOOD (🎶favs: "Use my Body as a Shield" or whatever it's called, I keep seeing different translated titles for it; "Reborn" instrumental; and "Holding on to a Thought" instrumental).

7 - The Blue Whisper

Fantasy romance and adventure. Merman. Animal-spirit people. Angst, treason, and undying hope.

Gosh this drama is so beautiful. This, Till the End of the Moon, and Blood of Youth are up there as the top 3 visuals in dramas I've completed (there are others that have stunned me visually, but haven't been able to watch in full). Excellent story, too. It's a tearjerker, but it's SO GOOD!

8 - My Uncanny Destiny

Romcom. "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"

Lots of fun. Very enjoyable and bingeable.

9 - Guardian, the one with Bai Yu and Zhu Yi Long

Modern urban superpowers type of thing, which is a genre I like, and the story is so good! By Priest, the same author for the Word of Honor novel. Never a dull moment. Tearjerker warning, but so good. Excellent theme song, too, btw. (I don't have any screencaps that aren't a spoiler, so that's what this is XD)

I ran out of slots, but I'll list the other seven in my Excellent and Recommendable list. Order is just as I watched them:

The Untamed

Legend of Fei

A Female Student Arrives at the Imperial College

Be Reborn (modern, heist/police)

The Romance of Tiger and Rose

A Familiar Stranger (mini-drama; watch the movie version)

Reset (modern, action, investigation)

PS: I've been here one month, and have done two tag games and they both had the number "9" in them; is this a tumblr thing?

[verbal--diarrhea]

White Scars

A/N- 😃 i am back guys! Sorry it quite literally took 2 years for me to update this account but why is tumblr so difficult to navigate 😭 anywho, enjoy this next chapter and please be patient with me as I figure this out 🙇‍♀️ 

Chapter 2:

It’s been a week now. A week avoiding Bela Dimitrescu at all costs. You knew the routes she took around the castle, you knew when she left her room and when she went to eat. It’s almost pathetic how you basically memorized her routine when you were together, trying to “bump into her” whenever you were on duty. I mean, how often can someone encounter the exact same person in a hallway? The answer should be no less than one but you and Bela managed to raise it to nine on a good day. You became very very good at sneaking around, especially at avoiding fellow maids and the other two Dimitrescu sisters. Lady Dimitrescu was no problem too, she rarely entered the west wing of the castle and if she ever did, everyone knew as you could hear her loud footsteps from a distance. Safe to say you were pretty proficient in the art of evasion except there was one problem, Bela, the person you were trying to evade, also stayed in the west wing. It wasn’t healthy that you weren’t confronting her about what had occurred a few nights prior but you were still afraid and still hurt so the most logical solution is to never see her. Yes, completely logical.

The cut was healing well, the skin around it was a faint red, but the wound itself became a scab. Give it another week and it may be all healed. Hopefully, it won’t leave a scar...you don’t need a reminder of Bela on your face. You were done crying over it. No one really asked you about your injury, it was common for maids to bear bruises or cuts. Those who stayed in Bela’s side of the castle were lucky compared to those who stayed on Cassandra’s and Daniela’s side, those maids were lucky if they survived with all their limbs intact. 

Right now, you really were wishing you were in Cassandra’s or Daniela’s wing, the dread of meeting Bela was overwhelming at times. Yet in the quiet of the night, you would dream of her; her perfume engulfing your tiny room, her chilly embrace, the soft breaths as she slipped into slumber beside you, and having to drag her off in the morning to rush her back to her bedroom. Sleep didn’t come without nightmares though, images of Bela’s face contorted with anger, that scythe plunging down, you were treading a fine line between fear and love. Love- you scoffed, chances are Bela didn’t even love you, after all you were just some low-class peasant. What Bela probably felt would be the equivalent of a teenage relationship, give it a year before one got bored of the other and it’s over, but in your case, off to the basement to be drained of blood. 

The first few days were nerve-wracking, you didn’t know if Bela would search or confront you, though there was nothing to be confronted about as you believed she knew damn well why you were avoiding her. You had asked (more like begged) the head house maid, Simone, to switch you to the night shift, at least for a few weeks and she agreed. By the third day, you were sweeping the corridors in the late night trying to be as quiet as possible. Sleep hasn’t been good anyways, you weren’t used to sleeping alone again, so cleaning was the best way to clear the mind. 

Sweeping here and there, you were grateful for the dim lighting. Moonlight peeked in through the windows contrasting with the candle’s red hues. Though the floor was visible, you couldn’t distinguish any shapes that were swept up, part of you knew every once in a while a bone would be found in a dust pile, but you were here long enough to be unfazed by such things. Glancing up you noticed the candle melted about half its height, indicating it was around 3 AM. They would be replaced in the morning and lit later in the evening; with the hundreds of candles around the castle, it was a wonder how the Dimitrescu’s obtained that many in the first place. 

Ahead of you laid Bela’s bedroom door, a cursive B carved into the oak wood door. She should be asleep by now, bundled up and dreaming away. Yet instead of soft snoring you hear muffled sniffles through the door, curiosity got the better of you and you edged closer. It dawned on you- she was crying. Your heart clenched at the thought, Bela never cries, and in that moment you wished you could hold her to your chest. No, she hurt you Y/N, just walk away. Forcing your legs to move, you shuffled away from the door, a low ache in your heart at the thought of Bela sad. It wasn’t your place anymore to comfort her.

-

Bela was level-headed and mature, at least that’s what she told herself as she quickly dispersed into flies and zipped to her bedroom, praying to not bump into you. She too has been avoiding you the last week, and she was pretty sure you were too. At first she had a brilliant plan; she would walk right up to your door, knock on it, beg for your forgiveness and hopefully have hot makeup sex after. That failed after she realized she had no courage to face you. Perhaps it was because she did not want to see your heartbroken face, or did not wish too see the painful mark on your face, Bela herself struggled to understand why she was so afraid; she was Lady Bela, goddammit! Staying confined in her room for most of the day seemed to be the best option, it was hard enough to pretend to be perfectly fine in front of her family, that face crumbled whenever she was alone. Sleep wasn’t an escape either as it was plagued with you leaving her crying into her pillow. 

At meals, Bela would eat as quickly as possible, and slip away. Lady Dimitrescu noticed naturally but pushed it aside as she was busy with her experiments for Mother Miranda. Nothing left Cassandra’s and Daniela’s gaze though-- they had been studying their eldest sister for the past week, discussing ways to ask her exactly what happened. 

“Okay, the best way is to corner her and force her to tell us,” Daniela looked to Cassandra’s face for approval as she was the youngest in the family.

They were huddled in one of the many guests rooms of the castle, away from the prying ears of their mother and eldest sister. Bela was starting to annoy them with her grumpy mood, never going out to hunt anymore and always cooped up in her room. They had hoped whatever she was dwelling upon would fade in a day or two, but Bela remained somber. 

Cassandra swatted the back of Daniela’s head, “are you fucking stupid? That’s the worst way to ask her what’s wrong.”

“Well, she won’t tell us if we don’t force her.”

Frowning, Cassandra stroked her chin, “hmm, you make a good point.”

“And we definitely can’t trick her to tell us-” Daniela leaned back against the armchair, watching Cassandra stand from hers and pace, “Bela’s too smart for that.”

“I know! Hm...okay I have an idea.”

“Go on-”

“We have to be gentle, we approach her in her room later tonight,” Cassandra explained, “we will first try to ask her what’s wrong...”

“And if that fails we force her?” 

“Exactly but for we do this all gently-”

“I know, I know,” Daniela rolled her eyes at her sister, “I’ll be gentle.”

“Don’t say anything unnecessary or stupid okay?” An accusatory glance was shot at the younger sister.

Daniela huffed, “I won’t.”

“Oh and also-” Cassandra opened the door of the room, leaving, “don’t say anything to mother.”

“Wouldn’t even dream of it.”

[ghelgheli]

I think a significant blunder of math education is the failure to explain where the fuck numbers come from. they are, from the beginning, presented as an inventory of symbols conjured ex nihilo with little purpose other than being the objects of (often torturous) rote memorization. but I think one of the most interesting things about math is the fact that it originated from and has almost always developed through material circumstances. and this is rather straightforward in principle:

somewhere along the way, perhaps in between early homo and contemporary humans, people independently developed linguistic symbols to indicate cardinals - to allow them to count one, two, three, four, maybe a little more. but this doesn’t come free. cognition is expensive, language is expensive, and counting blades of grass would never have been a preferred leisure activity. why bother?

humans tend to have the ability to approximate magnitudes without symbolic representation. if I show you two piles of figs, you’ll be able to tell if there’s more in one than the other as long as the difference is big enough. you don’t need to know how many there are in each. you don’t need numbers. you don’t need to know what the symbols “ten” or “fifty” or “a hundred” is to be able to tell that a mound of a hundred figs is a lot more than a mound of fifty. you can just tell

humans can also, in general, represent smaller numbers (up to four, maybe a little more more) precisely without symbolic representation. if you have two siblings, you don’t need a symbol for “two” to know it. you don’t need any representation of numbers to put four figs against four figs and know that they’re equal in quantity. so again, why bother?

somewhere along the way, accounting became important for some people (some. it’s not clear that every language even has an extensive number system). it became important to keep track of how many cows, or horses, or chickens, you had - precisely. it was no longer good enough to have an approximate sense of the size of your herd, or the volume of goods in your possession. for reasons of trade, tracking, etc. it became important to know exactly how many of something you had, so you could be sure none went missing, or so that you could barter precisely. the mathematical realists will not like me for putting it this way, but as far as our linguistic representations go, numbers were invented because it became useful to us to know how many of something there was

but, critically: not all numbers were invented at once, because they weren’t all needed at once. maybe you needed to know how many heads of grain you had. so you needed to count one, two, three, up to a few hundred. maybe more! but those are just positive, whole numbers (the “natural numbers” without zero). you didn’t need to know how many heads of grain you didn’t have. if you had none, you didn’t really need a number for that either. that’s why negative numbers and “zero” did not have symbolic existence until more recently: it was only when concepts like debts became widespread that the notion of a negative quantity of something was accepted as intelligible. otherwise, what the fuck could “-4 apples” mean? again - accounting.

as for rational numbers, defined as one integer divided by another (like 3/4, or 11/3): the name gives away that they’re about ratios between numbers. the building should be thrice as wide as it is long. that’s a ratio of 1/3. we need four units of water for every three units of flour. 4/3. these numbers only exist because they’re needed for myriad tasks through architecture, engineering, accounting...

irrational numbers, of course, came from the trouble of trying to figure out what the length of the diagonal of a unit square is: suppose you have a square that’s one long on each side (could be one meter, one foot, whatever). how long is the line from corner to opposite corner? surely, ancient mathematicians thought, it should be a nice number like 5/3 or something. it should have a pleasant representation. but, surprise! it doesn’t (the proof that the square root of two is irrational is one of the elementary exercises in number theory and I recommend trying it out or just reading it. it’s incredibly accessible). pi makes its appearance here, too. these quantities matter because, if you’re trying to figure out what length of timber you need for diagonal struts in your building, you need to be able to measure it out! if you want to know how much fencing you need for a circle that’s a particular width, you need to have a guess at what pi is! these numbers aren’t gratuitous trivialities; they’re materially significant

concepts of constructible numbers, algebraic numbers, infamous complex numbers, and so on, all came to be studied because material circumstances made it useful to do so. the shit you can do with complex numbers is OFF THE RAILS. it is 100% jaw dropping at times. I think this is abysmally communicated despite how important it is to understand why we bother with numbers.

[orange-orchard-system]

I've been seeing a lot of hate towards tone indicators recently. And like, I get it? Sort of? But at the same time, the primary argument seems to be "if I don't understand it immediately, it's useless", as if people are going to dogpile you for needing to google what something means if you don't know or don't remember. You don't have to memorize any of it!! Stop acting as if people are holding you at gun-point to list every tone indicator out there and what they mean!! If you don't want anything to do with them, just ignore and block people who use them!!

Also, everyone forgets it's not just an autism thing?? It wasn't made to be a disability aid, even if it's sometimes used like that. It's like. A general internet thing that popped up because lots of people – both autistic and allistic – have run into issues understanding tone through the internet. Moreover, it's not even an entirely new idea; it's like saying "btw" instead of "by the way". And the same issue of the same few letters being used to mean multiple things crops up with regular acronyms like that, too, as well as the problem of people not always knowing immediately what they mean, but I don't see people saying we should get rid of those and "just write it out" all the time... Tone indicators are just a specialized form of acronym and saying that people are "putting work on you" for the way they use acronyms to shorten their message while still keeping it as clear as possible is ridiculous.

Plus, again with noting how it's not just about autistics... Tone indicators help with anxiety. Stuff like "just rephrase your sentence!!" doesn't really help when your issue is worrying over how your sentence comes across; sure, you could rephrase your sentence to make sure your tone is clear, but now you have no idea if it comes across as too awkward or too stilted and needlessly complicated and now you're worrying over every word in your message, maybe even deciding that since you're so worried, you just shouldn't say anything instead, because everyone says the way you reassure yourself by adding a little indicator at the end of your sentence is ableist. In these cases, the tone indicators aren't about you. The aids that other people use for themselves aren't about you. And I think some autistic folk have way too big of an ego, assuming a general internet thing that helps many people is always and only about them, specifically.

Idk tho, I'm just pissed rn 'cause I see people insulting others for using tone indicators just because they don't personally find them useful. I get why some people don't like them, but if your dislike of them is reaching into egotistical territory where you lash out at anyone who decides they personally find them useful... I think you need to get over yourself.