#any anger that is in this post isn't really logically what i think

[demodraws0606]

I've realised no one in my life really has taken my feelings seriously, like fucking no one.

I feel like I could say anything, hint at anything and it'd just be a couple "don't worry about it" "i hope you're okay" or "just take your mind off it !" and i guess that's it.

Because I'm just exagerating, because they know I don't really mean it when I say I'm gonna do something because I'm too much of a coward. And the worst part is that they're kind of right.

I've lived my entire life crying my eyes out and having my parents and school chastize me for it, because I did it too often and I'd just "cry at anything".

The only reason I cried was because my friends at the time when I was young would constantly stop being friends with me and I was terrified of losing my friends.

My parents aren't even willing to do the effort to inform themselves about a therapy because well...the risk isn't worth the reward. I'm not sick enough for a therapist, they'd just trick me and make me worse.

I don't have real life problems either, so my everyone around me can just wait until my tamper tantrum is over and I can go back to normal so I can stop being such a fucking bummer.

In fact the reason I'm like this is because I feel like the world is fucking ending and everyone I love is in danger, but if they're fine I should be fine right ? I should just suck it up and not worry about them because everything will be fine and nothing is gonna happen.

I'm a terrible person because I know it's unfair to have other people do the emotional work for me but I feel like I'm just not treated like everyone else, I feel like if it was someone else saying those things it would be instant worry.

I shouldn't expect people to just reach out to me, I just need to ask for help but when I do that it feels like I'm just making it an obligation. So I just grit my teeth and smile and saying I'm fine when they talk because I know reaching out doesn't do anything. They can't help me or comfort me.

Everytime I do reach out, I make the effort to finally say something, things always just go back to the status quo, nothing changes. It makes me want to do something extreme or say something extreme, so they just could fucking understand.

But at this point I feel like if I told anyone, that for exemple, I did self harm multiple times with a razor not a while ago, not even that would make a difference. Because I mean I stopped right, and it's not like the scars are still there so it really just doesn't even make a difference. Even though I didn't tell this to anyone because I didn't want to make them actually worry about me. I don't think any of it really makes a difference.

And if I do get what I want, I just know all it will do is make them miserable. I don't want them to feel about me, the same way I feel about everyone around me, like there's a counter constantly ticking down.

I don't want to bring people down with me, I just want some hope, not anything dismissing like "oh just don't worry about it" or "it'll be fine". I just want to know that even if the worst happens, and it will happen, they'll be there for me and they'll be safe. That they'll be there for me but also that they'll be happy as well.

It's funny how angry sounding the first half was and it all just kinda melted into me just being sad, that's kind of just how it always goes huh.

Putting my dirty laundry on Tumblr like this is really not a good look but I just needed to say this somewhere.

[nerdvi]

In the wake of the whole james somerton fiasco and inspired by this post, I wanted to share a few of my um, soft signs, like, orange flags to detect when someone is bullshitting you.

First of all, I am on the spectrum which means 1) I tend to take what people say at face value and 2) I have a strong sense of justice which makes me prone to biases, all of which combined means I am at perpetual risk of swallowing the bullshit.

So, what to do about it? You turn on the critical thinking and pay attention.

As one of my favorite youtubers, Hannah Alonzo, likes to say: "consider the source, remember the motive". Who is talking to you?? What do you know about them?? What biases might they have?? How do they interact with your own biases?? Where are they talking from?? Is it anger?? happinness? boredom?? Also, why are they talking to you? Are they trying to sell you something?? Are they trying to convince you and why?? How do they go about the finantial motivation, if present? If you have, in this case, a white cis gay man talking to you as it he has it the worst of the worst in the world, there's probably some exaggeration and you should start to wonder. There's a good chance he's bullshitting you.

How they talk about women and POC No, no, stay with me. There's a rule I had back when I was dating men: Always beware of how they treat their mother. With the exception of extremes like mama's boys and cases of abuse, how a man treats the woman with whom they have that familial bond is a good indicator of how they are going to treat you. Do they berate her? speak ill of her? are aggressive or controlling? do they dismiss her opinions? Same with creators, and by god I tell you, specially cis male creators, queer or otherwise, always always beware of how they speak of women, how they treat women, how they treat POC. Somerton had a weird vendetta against straight women. It went mostly unnoticed. Then, he was dismissive towards lesbians and other queer women and it was once again overlooked. Then he went ahead and made sinophobic content about genres and cultures he knows NOTHING about. Again, it went unchecked. What I am telling you is IT'S NOT NORMAL. Contempt about women and non white-western cultures is not normal and if someone has them as them as an enemy or a scapegoat, they're probably bullshitting you. Take what they say and fact check it, see for yourself.

If at any point in a video or an essay you find yourself thinking "wait, really??" then it's time to fact check. Is it a bit suspicious?? is your logic telling you that's not quite how this works?? Then take to google, my friend, they might be bullshitting you. At worst, you dodge a fake fact, at best, you learn way too much about a topic you were already interested in.

Beware of the lack of nuance. I can not stress this enough. We all love monochrome, but life and societal issues are never black and white. It's just impossible, there's too many factors to consider. If you are being presented situations or anecdotes as absolute truths, you're probably being bullshitted. If it's too good to be true, it is. If it sounds waaay too convenient, it probably is. A good researcher, a serious investigator, will always have some nuance because they have done the work and checked the sources. If someone provides you 1) no nuance and 2) no sources, THEY'RE BULLSHITTING YOU.

These are the ones I can come up with just of the top of my head, I'm sure there's more and please, add them. Remember that naivité isn't a crime, I'm fairly naive and that's made me distrustful, and these are some of the techniques I've found that help me navigate through a world of information without losing myself.

[louisferrignojr]

i have all sorts of criticisms for 911 as a show overall, for the 8x06 bucktommy storyline specifically, and for tim minear as a writer and showrunner. all valid criticisms and things I'm allowed to do as a queer viewer, because it relates to the writing choices, regardless whether they are influenced by external factors such as actor availability, budgets, or network demands and restrictions.

but you won't see me turning on oliver stark like a fucking rabid delusional buddie shipper.

using my logic and basic knowledge about the world of television, i can't put any blame on him for this shitfest. you won't see me coming up with ridiculous theories that he hates lou (#1 buddie talking point since the beginning) or that he got tim to write the episode this way (he's just a bloody actor ffs), that he hasn't done enough to champion the ship (you want him to be a bucktommy warrior?), because guess what?

say he promoted the relationship on his personal instagram, say he hyped it up more in interviews, say he interacted with shippers online or showcased more bucktommy fanworks... and the pair broke up in 8x06? because he doesn't write the show? you could then argue oliver engaged in queerbaiting, because the show did not deliver the queer content he promoted.

and isn't that what he was accused of anyway, before he deleted his twitter? doesn't it make sense that he might want to be careful about this?

and given the harassment he's had to endure from buddie shippers, i find it perfectly acceptable to answer buddie questions diplomatically because we know what those people are fucking capable of. it makes sense to me that he doesn't want to anger them.

at the end of the day, i'm not defending him. i've said before i'm deeply disappointed with his comments in the TVline interview and the way he doubled down in that instagram post. he has lost my respect and i no longer think he's a good ally to bisexual people specifically, because when you are playing a bisexual character, you have the bare minimum obligation to listen when real bisexual people are telling you that you fucked up. yes, i would like to see him acknowledge his wrongdoing and show that he understands the issue and why the things he said were biphobic. no matter how badly he fucked up, he should be allowed to reflect and make amends... because he's a human being and that's what the weewoo show is about. redemption arcs and second chances all around, folks.

but - he's literally just an actor and a celebrity. i expect nothing. i'm not holding out hope. i spare him no mind. i don't hate him and i'm not angry with him because i never idolised him. because i don't know him beyond the persona he shows the world. no one does. we can infer things based on what we see and hear, but there's really no way to know how much of that is his authentic self.

anyway. just my two cents 🫶

[eamour]

emotions do not matter.

! this post was highly inspired by former loa blogger aphrodite apprentice !

emotions and feelings, the way neville coins these words, are of different nature. when speaking of emotions, we are speaking of unconscious emotional experiences. feelings, however, are a conscious act and usually a reaction to our emotions — which, according to neville, are the secret to help us manifest.

emotions vs feelings.

an emotion is an immediate reaction to your emotional state of mind, whereas a feeling remains a lot longer and is felt for a longer period of time. emotions could be joy, fear, anger, lust or sadness. the counterparts in feelings would then be happiness, anxiety, bitterness, love or depression. if something unpleasant happens in your life, you will react to it emotionally first. only later, you will be able to form a feeling. as you can see, an emotion is a lot more intense and often manifests in a physical reaction (ex. facial expressions), not based on any reasoning while in contrast your feeling is based on logical reasoning. you could say a feeling is a way of explaining an emotion with thoughts which you have felt due to external experiences. this also means that not every feeling will always be accurate enough to explain an emotion and how you actually feel emotionally.

emotions cannot manifest ...

once again, a feeling isn’t the emotion itself. your feeling has nothing to do with our emotional state of mind but rather your mental state of mind. that means that your feelings, longterm, are more concerned with what you feel to be true or false, right or wrong and real or unreal.

mental · relates to the mind; thinking process.

emotional · relates to emotions; feeling process.

... only feelings can.

especially because a feeling does not necessarily have to correlate to an emotion, it is entirely up to you to define your feeling. you could replace feeling with what you accept, know or believe to be true. it's a thought. and an emotion isn't. you may not help the way you emotionally feel — and you shouldn’t! you should never suppress an emotion and feel sad, angry, etc. — but you can make the conscious decision to define your feeling. and since a feeling is a state, after all, you can manifest anything you'd like while feeling like you are at your lowest (or highest). your emotions will not manifest!

emotions arise.

as i was saying, an emotion is a pretty much sudden response. you may lose something and feel bad about it, maybe you had a fight with your friend or perhaps you were told some unsettling news. whatever it is, you will always feel some intense type of way from time to time.

emotions fade away.

the thing is, emotions come and go. you may feel super joyful one minute and then feel super sad the next. that’s totally normal, and we are definitely not trying to fix our wonderful human nature in any way.

emotional responses.

emotions are a response. when manifesting, when changing your feeling, you might also experience emotions of some sort. you may feel euphoric of manifesting something that has always felt very prestigious or hardly available to you.

but the same way, you could not feel anything at all. some manifestations aren’t going to move you the way some manifestations do, but that’s not an issue! the premise is, you don’t HAVE to feel excited. you don’t have to jump out of happiness whenever you think about how you manifested to find your keys you had lost the other day. remember, emotions come naturally. you don’t have to force them.

accepting and persisting.

the only thing you really have to do is to accept your desire as yours and persist in that assumption. feel it to be true, to be real, to be factual. that’s what feeling the wish fulfilled means. the feeling of your assumption to be realty.

with love, ella.

[sematarygirls]

Living Dead Girl Pt. II — Patrick Hockstetter.

part one

pairing : patrick hockstetter x ghost!reader

summary : patrick gave into his urges and finally tested his morbid curiosities on prey much larger than just a cat or dog. little did he know his actions would come back to haunt him... literally.

warnings : patrick being a psychopath , animal cruelty , male masturbation , graphic descriptions of murder and suicide , reader being manipulative , degradation , sexual themes ,

word count : 4.5k words !

a/n : can't believe i'm finally posting this after a year and a half. also this is my first attempt at smut-ish so i'm sorry if it's ass. im not gonna say this is 18+ bc I myself am not 18+ (im turning 18 this year tho) also im not your mom and idgaf what you read.

"Finally," a voice sounded, causing him to drop both his can and his plate. The sharp sound of glass breaking followed by a loud thud echoed through the room as the plate and soda can collided with the floor.

"No, no, no," Patrick shook his head, shutting his eyes. "This isn't real. I killed you. You're not here. You're not real."

"Sorry, babe," the voice, your voice, whispered into his ear. Your warm breath fanned his ear, and he felt his whole body tense. "I'm very much real."

"That's not possible," he said through gritted teeth. "I watched you die. I buried you!" He opened his eyes, convinced that this was all some terrible drug trip. Maybe the weed he'd just got from Henry was laced, or maybe he was suffering from a temporary psychosis. Either way, there had to be some rational and logical reason that he was seeing you.

However, when he saw you there, sitting there with a smug look on your face, your presence as solid as any living person, he felt his heart skip a beat.

You tilted your head, eyebrows furrowing as you pouted. "What's wrong, Patrick?" You asked condescendingly. "Don't act so scared now." You walked toward him slowly, watching him scramble backward in a panic. A smile spread across your lips as you saw the pure fear in his eyes when he hit the wall behind him, having nowhere else to go. "You weren't scared when you stabbed me. You weren't scared when you watched me bleed out in your arms. You weren't scared when you buried my body like some animal you found on the side of the road." Your voice was seeping with anger as you stepped closer and closer, cornering him. "So you don't get to be scared now."

Patrick Hockstetter was not someone who was frightened easily. In fact, up until this very moment, he didn't think he had the ability to be frightened at all. His unique ability to remain calm and collected in situations that would often stress others out was one he was prideful of. However, at that moment, he felt all composure and level-headedness dissolve. For the first time in his life, he was scared. Not just scared—terrified.

"What- What do you want?" He asked, his voice shaky as he looked into your eyes. You no longer looked at him like he hung the moon. There were no remnants of your innocence and naivety—willing to trust that people have the best intentions. There was nothing behind your cold, lifeless eyes. It was like staring at a corpse.

"Now, what's the fun in that?" You grinned, leaning forward so your face was inches away from his. Your gaze flickered to his lips. The same lips you thought he'd planned to kiss you with, but instead, he'd stabbed you in the stomach and mocked your intelligence. "You should really watch your back, Patrick," you whispered with a devious smirk, your breath fanning over his face. "I heard the search for me is really picking up after they found my blood in the woods."

Your words snapped him back to the reality of the situation at hand. He had killed you. What you were saying was impossible though. Right? He was meticulous in every stage of his plan. There was no way they found any trace of you. "What are you talking about?" He asked, his eyes searching you for any sign of deception, but you were impossible to read like this. He was no longer able to detect everything from a single glance. He only knew what you wanted him to know.

Without another word, you disappeared, leaving the boy spiraling as he went through all the events of that night over and over again. "Come back!" He screamed, his voice echoing through the empty house. "You can't just leave like that you bitch!"

Patrick let out a frustrated yell as he grabbed the nearest thing—which happened to be a porno mag—and threw it across the room in a fit of rage. Who did you think you were to haunt him? To come into his room, make him feel that horrible emotion, and tease him just to leave abruptly?

He sat on the edge of his bed, trying to control his heavy breathing as his anger took over. You had to have been lying, trying to get into his head. He hated to admit that it was working. He was supposed to be the one in your head. This was his world. He controlled everyone and everything. You shouldn't be here. You should be dead and buried like he had intended.

He fell back in his bed and took a deep breath, letting his mind settle as he chased sleep. He told himself you would be gone tomorrow and that would be that. Your appearance to him, like something out of a Charles Dickens novel, was just a fluke. Tomorrow you would be dead and all would be right with the world.

He drifted off to sleep, having convinced himself that he would never see you again. He was able to get a few hours of sleep, but you weren't going to let him be at peace for long

At around 4 am, Patrick had a very vivid dream that he was choking. He was gasping for air, clawing at his neck as he looked around frantically. His surroundings dissolved into a pitch-black room. He felt his lungs burning, his brain growing fuzzy as the oxygen left him. It felt so vivid, so real.

He awoke in a panic, sitting up straight as he gasped for air. His lungs felt like they were on fire. Like he had truly been deprived of air like he'd dreamed about. He panted, catching his breath as he looked around at his room, thankfully finding no signs of you. However, when he finally felt secure, able to draw a breath without feeling like a thirsty man drinking water, he realized the pillow that had been behind his head was now sat on his lap.

The realization dawned on him that he may have been actually suffocating, and you were the culprit. He shook his head, trying to expel the thought as he laid back down, throwing the pillow off into the black depths of his room, so he wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. It was just a dream. Just as you were just a vision.

Patrick wasn't stupid, though many would argue to the contrary. Just because he didn't give a shit about school and didn't try didn't mean he wasn't smart. He just saved his intelligence for things that actually mattered—like planning and executing a murder.

That in mind, his refusal to accept the things he deep down knew to be true was not, as some would think, him being stupid. On the contrary, he believed himself smarter than to believe in silly things like ghosts. Dead things stay dead. He'd learned that at a very young age. He knew when he killed his brother that he would not be coming back. Just as he knew when he killed you that you would not be coming back.

Ghosts don't exist. He wasn't dumb enough to believe that.

As he laid in bed, trying to rationalize himself into a calm enough state to fall asleep again, he found himself more on edge with every creak of the old house around him. He stared up at the ceiling, his eyes conspiring with the moonlight to play tricks on him. His breath hitched at every shadow dancing around the dark.

You were proud of your work, and you had barely done anything yet. You watched from the shadows, pleased as he seemed to run himself in circles trying to cope with everything going on. The mere thought of you was torture enough.

You grinned, biting your lip as a thought washed over you. As a ghost, not bound by the physical realm, you had the ability to do a lot of things. One of those so happened to be raising and lowering the temperature in a room.

You focused hard, raising the temperature several degrees, making Patrick swear at the sudden sweat washing over him. You watched with a satisfied smirk as he pulled his shirt over his head, trying to cool himself off.

He didn't have a six pack or anything, but you didn't expect him to. He had a lean, toned torso with a very sexy v-line peeking out from his jeans. A small tattoo sat on his stomach just above his v-line on the right side. You couldn't make it out in the darkness, but you didn't care much. The sight of it alone was enough.

After all, who said you couldn't mix a little bit of business with pleasure.

He had taken away the rest of your life, all the possibilities of experiencing having your first kiss, losing your virginity, falling in love. It was only fair he made up for that in one way or another before your time together came to an end.

The time passed agonizingly slowly with Patrick staring at the ceiling and you watching him, studying him like he was some foreign thing. It was so interesting to watch someone when they don't know they're being watched. Of course, he felt the hairs on his neck stand on end, his body detecting the unseen eyes on him, but he chalked it up to paranoia—as he did every other unexplainable thing that seemed to be happening to him.

His mind drifted off, the heat making him restless as his brain filled with gruesome images of his previous kills. He sifted through his memory for the most interesting ones—dismembering birds, beheading cats, snapping a squirrel or two's neck—but none of them seemed to get him off anymore.

The image of your face right after he stabbed you made it's way into his mind. Your eyes, so wide and filled with fear. He could practically hear your sweet voice crying out, asking why he would do this to you. The thought made his cock tighten in his jeans.

He reached down, palming himself through his jeans with a groan. Reliving the sounds of you choking and coughing up your own blood had his fingers working quickly to undo his belt. He tossed it to the side, practically ripping the button off his jeans as he pulled them down along with his underwear, allowing his dick to finally be free from the restrictive fabric.

He spat in his hand, gripping his cock and lubricating it. He caught his chapped lower lip between his teeth as swept his thumb over his pink head, smearing his precum across it. He let out a low moan, letting his hand travel up and down his dick at a slow, agonizing pace. He kept his eyes screwed shut, immersing himself in the memory of your murder as he stroked himself.

Patrick was not a moral man by any means but this was a new low. Getting himself off to you, in his mind, was no better than if he was imagining one of his dead animal playthings. You were nothing to him. You were roadkill.

But, for some reason, the fresh sight of you, wearing the clothes he killed you in with that dark blood stain right where he'd stabbed you, your hair all matted, and the cold, lifeless look in your eyes, made it so easy to relive that night in great detail.

It was the greatest night of his life. The biggest release of pressure he'd ever felt since he began getting those homicidal urges—those itches. He didn't think he'd ever get to feel that euphoria again, but fucking himself to the thought of it would get him pretty damn close.

He let out a strangled moan, his hips pushing into his hand as he came, and he was right, it was the second-best feeling he'd ever felt. It didn't compare to killing you, but it was enough to satiate his urges once again.

He laid there, panting for what felt like hours. The time moved by so slowly until finally, the sound of the alarm block beside his bed blaring pulled him from his thoughts.

The red numbers reading 7:30 blinked slowly, reminding him that he had to get up and get ready for school. He leaned over, smacking the top of the clock roughly to silence it before falling back flat on his bed, preparing himself to get up.

He groaned, pushing himself up and grabbing a random pair of jeans and a shirt that smelled clean enough. He quickly got dressed before making his way back downstairs. He knew Belch would be here any second to pick him up—he always woke up later than he was realistically supposed to.

He slipped his boots on, and a few moments later, he heard Belch laying on his car horn. Rolling his eyes, he opened the door, heading outside and letting it slam just behind him.

"Calm your tits," he shouted in annoyance. Patrick always had a short fuse, but after the particularly restless night in which he'd been visited by some fucking ghost of Christmas Past, he found himself particularly irritable.

"Dude what happened yesterday?" Victor asked as Patrick climbed into the blue Trans Am.

"You were totally tripping the fuck out," Belch chimed in, starting the car and peeling out of Patrick's neighborhood.

"Dumb fuck can't handle his liquor," Henry scoffed from his spot in the passenger's seat.

"Shut the fuck up, Bowers," Patrick bit back, gazing out the window. "At least some of us don't piss our pants when we drink."

"It was one fucking time you dickhead!" Henry defended quickly, his cheeks turning red from the embarrassment.

At the feeling of someone's hand on his thigh, Patrick quickly looked over at Vic. "Don't fucking touch me you-" he paused just short of spitting some derogatory remark about Victor being gay and a freak when he saw you sitting between him and Victor, grinning at him darkly.

"What the fuck are you talking about, dude?" Victor asked, bewildered by Patrick's behavior. Patrick was always an odd one, but he never acted this weird.

"He probably smoked himself fucking dumb," Henry grumbled, still annoyed about the pants pissing remark.

You held a finger to your lips as climbed over onto his lap, holding onto his shoulders to steady yourself. You just wanted to rile him up a little, make him feel suffocated by you, like he could never escape. And truly, he couldn't. You were never going anywhere until you believed justice had properly been served, and you would take that in any form.

He glared at you, but you paid him no mind, leaning to whisper into his ear: "How cute," you condescended him. "You thought I would just go away." You dug your nails into his shoulders making him sharply inhale, trying not to tip off his friends to the seemingly unwarranted pain he was feeling. "You will never be rid of me," you whispered menacingly, looking deep into his eyes with a sickening grin that made nausea pool in his stomach.

In any other situation, having someone on his lap, digging their nails into his shoulders would probably have been a pleasurable experience, but this was not any other situation. This was a nightmare he couldn't seem to wake up from.

When Belch finally pulled into the school parking lot, Patrick couldn't get out of the car fast enough. You disappeared as he scrambled to unlock the door and get out, finally feeling like he could breathe. He pulled his shirt collar to the side, looking down at the angry red marks where your nails had been. They served as a disturbing reminder that you were really there, and you could do anything to him.

"You get laid last night, Hockstetter?" Belch asked, grinning as he saw the red marks.

"That why you ran off yesterday?" Henry snickered. "You pussy whipped?"

"At least, I actually get pussy," he sneered, paling as he heard your laugh echoing around him the moment the words slipped from his lips. It was a deafening sound. Like a mix between a cackle and a scream that seemed to permeate his surroundings.

His jaw clenched, eye twitching as he resisted the urge to cover his ears. Apart from not wanting to look insane, he also didn't think it would help much. You weren't around him. You were in him, in his head.

The bell could faintly be heard going off inside the school, making Victor curse under his breath. They had two minutes to get to class or they were late.

"Mrs. Denton's gonna throw a bitch fit if I'm late again," he groaned, watching as Henry lit a cigarette.

"Kiss ass," he remarked, taking a long drag before exhaling the puff of smoke into Belch's face as Victor walked away.

"You asshole," Belch coughed, shoving Henry.

"Oh, shit." Henry's eyes widened as he tossed his cigarette on the ground, quickly stomping it out. "Let's go," he ordered, making his way up the stairs to the front doors of the school, looking behind him frantically.

Patrick's eyebrows furrowed at the sudden shift in Henry's demeanor. He followed the brunette's gaze, his eyes locking with those of Butch Bowers, the sheriff.

"Wonder if they're here for you," your voice taunted him, breath tickling the back of his right ear. He turned, preparing to come face to face with that condescending smile you always seemed to be wearing, but you weren't there.

He looked back, finding Sheriff Bowers still staring at him, seemingly ignoring whatever the deputy was leaning into his ear to say. Patrick wasn't one to back down easily, but your presence, your warnings, had him on edge. He quickly advanced forward, his lengthy legs providing long strides as he followed suit in heading inside Derry Highschool.

The sounds of his heavy boots hitting the linoleum floor echoed through the empty hall as he made his way to his math class. Victor was right; Mrs. Densen was going to throw a bitch fit that he was late, but he didn't care. He wouldn't have cared on a normal day, but on this day, with the police sniffing around and you practically breathing down his neck, he cared even less—which he didn't even know was possible.

He pulled open the door to the classroom, a hush falling over the students as he entered. Most stared at him wide-eyed, some avoided looking at him altogether, and he briefly caught Vic looking at him with sympathy. The teacher, however, was glaring at him, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Mr. Hockstetter, late again I see," she said pointedly. "You've earned yourself a detention after school today." Patrick stifled a laugh as he made his way to his seat at the very back of the classroom. "Is something funny?" She asked, her tone displaying clear annoyance.

"Yeah, that you think I care," he rolled his eyes, slipping into his desk. He tuned out whatever lecture the teacher decided to give him after that. His gaze drifted to the empty desk in the front row— the one you used to sit at.

"Don't go feeling remorseful now," you said into his ear. He felt your arm around his shoulders as you leaned down, your face positioned next to his. He turned to look at you, and you turned to look at him, your faces almost touching.

your breath fanned across his face, the moment oddly intimate until you grinned at him, opening your mouth and emitting an ear piercing scream.

"Ah," he grunted in pain, his eyes screwing shut, and his hands gripping his ears. It felt like his eardrums were seconds away from bursting and causing blood to pour out of his ears. "Shut the fuck up!" He yelled, the room, and you, falling dead silent immediately after the words left him.

He peeled his eyes open, his hands falling as he looked around. "Excuse me, Mr. Hockstetter," the teacher gasped, clearly taken aback by his outburst. "Take yourself to the principal's office right this instant!" She ordered him.

His blood began to boil as he stood up abruptly, storming out of the classroom and slamming the door behind him. He was getting very very sick and tired of your little games. He headed toward the back door of the school, not wanting to cross paths with Henry's dad.

"This doesn't look like the way to the principal's office," you mused, appearing beside him. He stopped, turning to shove you against the locker. He groaned when his arms made contact with the locker instead of your body, and your laugh echoed behind him. "You think you can hurt me, how cute."

He let out a frustrated groan, smashing his fists against the locker. He couldn't stand you. He couldn't stand having someone that he couldn't manipulate or hurt but that could manipulate and hurt him. "What do you want with me?" He asked, refusing to look at you.

"To break you," you grinned. "To have you begging for it to stop."

Yeah, right he thought.

He was Patrick fucking Hockstetter; he didn't beg. He didn't bend to the will of others, especially not some dead bitch. He was determined not to let you win. You would eventually get tired of tormenting him and go back to wherever the fuck you came from. He was sure of it.

Oh, how he underestimated your patience and overestimated his resilience.

He lasted exactly a week. A week of you screaming and poking and scratching and fucking with his head. A week of people staring at him like he was insane with his random outbursts and talking to the air. A week of torment before you finally had him right where you wanted him.

"Just leave me alone!" He begged, standing in the middle of his room with his head in his hands. You had finally drove him to the brink of insanity, and he didn't know how much longer he could live like this. You, being everywhere all the time, taunting and touching and teasing, it was too much for him. He couldn't take it anymore. "Go away!"

You tsked, grinning at him, that condescending grin that filled him with indescribable rage. How could you look at him like that? Like he was stupid? You were the stupid one. You were killed by him not the other way around!

"I'm afraid that's not how this works," you told him, shaking your head slightly. "I get to stay until you give me what I want." You took a step, punctuating the next words you said with a pause between each one and another step forward. "However. Long. It. Takes."

"What the fuck do you want from me?" He yelled, desperate to get you away from him forever.

"Well," you drawled, running your index finger along his chest, making him flinch. You smiled at the effect you had on him. He talked a big game, getting mad when you left—cursing, throwing things, even—having the audacity to fuck himself to the thought of your murder— but when it came to being face to face with you, he cowered away.

Ain't nothing like a little fear to make a paper man crumble as Henry Bowers' father once said.

"I'll be nice and give you a choice," you said darkly. "You can turn yourself in," you almost laughed at the way his demeanor hardened. "Which we both know you're too proud and stubborn to do," you continued. The intrigue behind Patrick's eyes was undeniable as he eagerly awaited his second choice. "Or," you trailed off, grabbing a razor from his dresser and holding it in front of his face. "You can die."

"You're a crazy bitch!" He shouted, though his inability to mask the tremble in his voice made him sound less than threatening.

"Maybe," you shrugged, admiring the sharp piece of metal. "Hmm," you hummed. "I wonder how you'll feel about me in another week," you asked thoughtfully. "I bet you'll be wishing you took the chance while you had it."

His jaw clenched at your words. He'd already lost a considerable amount of sleep because of you, and the thought of you tormenting him any longer was a fate worse than death. "Why don't you just kill me?" He asked defeatedly. You'd backed him into a corner that he was positive he couldn't get out of without doing things your way.

"I'm not you, Patrick," you spat hatefully. "I don't kill people or things."

"What? Like driving me to suicide is any better?" He scoffed, challenging your sense of superiority over him.

"You have an informed choice," you told him, trying to regain your calm. You didn't like losing your temper, especially not to the likes of Patrick Hockstetter, scum of the earth. "That's a luxury you didn't extend to me."

He eyed the blade in your hand warily. He didn't like accepting defeat. He would never admit to killing you. Being confined to a tiny room, unable to satiate that burning itch deep inside him whenever he needed; it would drive him mad.

"Go on," you urged him softly, holding the razor out for him to take. "Put yourself out of your misery. End it all and be free."

He looked between you and the blade hesitantly, a million thoughts running through his mind as he tried to make a decision. Glaring at you, he took the blade. A scowl formed on his face as he observed the triumphant expression that you seemed to wear immediately after he made his choice.

"Two deep cuts, and you'll never have to see me again," you assured him. That all but sealed the deal. Patrick didn't believe in heaven or hell and death didn't scare him. Being caged like one of the many animals he's so cruelly killed scared him more than dying. He walked over to his bed, sitting on the edge.

He sucked in a breath, pressing the blade into his wrist and dragging it upward toward his inner elbow. He clenched his teeth, deeply inhaling through them. A groan of pain fell from his lips as he felt the warm blood begin seeping from his wound, running down his arms and onto his jeans. He continued the action on the other arm, feeling nauseous and lightheaded.

The blade fell from his trembling fingers, clattering to the floor as he fell back onto the bed. His head felt foggy, and the pain began to melt away into numbness. His eyes began to droop, and he faintly saw your outline standing above him.

He just barely felt you lean down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. His ears began to ring as his eyes fell shut. The words you spoke next were the last he would hear before his heart slowed to an eventual stop. He almost couldn't make them out, the sound muffled, as if he was underwater, but his mind used its last bit of energy to process them before giving out.

"Goodbye, Patrick Hockstetter," you said softly. "May you burn in hell."

tags! : @fatfagsj , @mysticalhills , @simpingforthe80s , @slasherho , @pinkpanther-44 , @slaggylemon , @kyranisnotdead , @ladydragiiss ,

[gffa]

Dearest gffa, you are the only person I know whose been reading Batfamily comics. (Though I do read some of the fanfic haha). The destiel meme informed me that Bad Things just happened in the latest comics. Is there a primer to the latest drama? (Everyone seems upset). Are you ok?

Best wishes, your fandom neighbor on Star Wars Street

I assume this is about the Batman #148 leaks? I haven't seen a ton of drama (other than a couple of posts, including the Destiel meme notification that got me to go see what was happening) but if that's it, it's kind of funny, because okay. As far as I've seen (the issue isn't even out yet, so I can't read it until tomorrow, I'm only going on the leaked panels I've seen) what happens in the issue is that Failsafe-- okay, let me back up. In the current Batman run (written by Chip Zdarsky), awhile back Bruce created a super powerful robot that was meant to be activated in the case of him going rogue so that it could take him down, and it's very coldly logical, based on his patterns, so it knows him extremely well and is hard to beat. It's powerful enough that it apparently took out the Justice League awhile back (I haven't read that arc yet, so take that with a grain of salt), which means now that Failsafe has gone rogue in the current Batman series that Zdarsky's writing, Bruce is having a hell of a time fighting it, especially with his "backup personality" Zur-En-Arrh (Bruce is a paranoid shit and I love him the most) is also running amok in his head and he's fighting back against that. Back up further--in late 2023, there was an event called "Gotham War" that was basically, "Bruce has been through a lot of shit lately, so he was out of commission for several months, in that time Selina stepped up in Gotham and started training crooks to be cat burglars instead of rogues' goons, Bruce woke up, thought this was bullshit, despite that crime was down, and they basically had a turf war while Bruce was losing his goddamned mind because of what he'd been through and because Zur-En-Arrh was literally ratting the bars of the cage of his mind, and part of the fallout being that Bruce dosed Jason with a gas that basically made his adrenaline go wild any time he would do anything dangerous, so that he could no longer be in this life of crime or vigilantism, because Jason had killed a lot of people, but Bruce couldn't bear to send him to jail, so this was the only way he could live with taking Jason out of the life they lived". Gotham War was extremely controversial--I had fun with it, because it was BONKERS and I fuckin' love bonkers stuff in the "punching people in the face solves crime" genre, but a lot of people were really angry about how Jason was treated in the arc. Zdarsky co-wrote Gotham War, so this is a continuation of a lot of people's frustration and anger towards how Jason has been treated by DC especially by this author.

There's also a lot of lingering frustration and resentment in fandom because Jason is not always written well or frequently. He doesn't have his own solo book these days, half of what's written about him is written by authors with VASTLY different takes from the other half of the writers out there, and there's a lot of fanon that goes around with Jason's sub-section of fandom where I think it furthers the divide because the fic that's written about Jason delves deep into his character in specific ways that the canon doesn't match and I think it can set expectations for some fans that are just not matched by DC themselves, either because they see Jason differently or because Jason just doesn't have a lot of fans at the company itself, I couldn't say for sure. So, now comes Batman #148 leaks (it's not actually out until tomorrow), where Failsafe kills Jason and Bruce has a dramatic reaction to it, and a lot of people are furious that DC would kill Jason at all, much less with such little fanfare, after how little focus he's gotten over the last several years. The thing is, though, that Jason doesn't stay dead, he's alive again by the end of the issue (I've seen panels from later in the issue) and I'm not sure how many people are reacting just to seeing the posts flying around fandom versus how many people have actually seen the whole context. Because context is slowly rolling out, but people generally aren't soothed by that, given the lead-up to this moment. Basically, years of Jason not getting much focus in the comics + the events of Gotham War have led to a powderkeg of a situation and the contextless leaks (ie, without the panel where Jason's alive again) took a match to the whole thing. And that's what's going on, as far as I know! I personally am having a great time because I was extremely skeptical that they would actually kill Jason without any fanfare and also I like Jason as a hot mess with crunchy relationships with people and that he's done bad things and had bad things done to him/been a victim as well, so all this messy drama in the story has me living for it. (This would have been a very different situation if I'd thought Jason was really dead, but I didn't, so I'm doing fine right now. Also, my Blorbo is Dick Grayson, so I've already been through this wringer and I'm still mad at DiDio for it, so it's Jason-Blorbo's time now.)

[autistic-beshelar]

Hey! I'm very interested in what you've told me about antisocial personality disorder, neurodivergence, and empathy vs. compassion so far. I would love to hear more!

hi, sorry this has taken me a bit to get to, i've had a hectic few days, and i knew i'd end up writing a lot!

ASPD:

i'll start by saying that i don't have ASPD, so i'm just going to give the basics and hand you off to people who DO have it. it's important to bear in mind that ASPD is primarily considered traumagenic, and that, like any other disorder, it can manifest in a bunch of different ways, and people with it can behave very differently from one another.

ASPD is a cluster b personality disorder characterised by low empathy, limited range and depth of emotions, disregard for other people's feelings, disregard for societal conventions and morality, chronic anger, and chronic boredom. the common view of pwASPD is that they are violent criminals, but that is primarily because research is only ever done on the worst kinds of people, and i'm sure many of them are misdiagnosed. i'm sure i don't need to explain to you why basing a disorder solely off of people in prison is fucked as a concept, given how both the prison system and psychiatry are both incredibly flawed. (it's also for this reason that i have no scientific studies to give you, because the only ones i've come across are grossly ableist)

having ASPD comes with a lot of challenges, but having a disorder - any disorder - doesn't make you a bad person. from what i have seen, a lot of pwASPD don't so much 'not have morals' as have a deep distrust of authority and base their morality on logic or serving their own interests. in fact i've seen an awful lot of pwASPD who are very left leaning or are anarchists. of course there's also plenty who are right wing assholes, but that kind of goes to show that a disorder doesn't dictate your morality, it just might lead you to approach your sense of morality differently.

ASPD resources, from actual pwASPD:

https://shitborderlinesdo.tumblr.com/post/115096247519/the-anti-social-personality-disorder-checklist

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/life-with-antisocial-personality-disorder-aspd/ (cw for mention of csa)

https://inanawesomewave.tumblr.com/post/177638772232/the-bones-of-it

EMPATHY:

my favourite thing to rant about. empathy is wildly misunderstood by most people, so let's start off with a proper description. there are two main types of empathy: cognitive and affective. you will also see some people say that there's a third type, 'compassionate empathy', but i have never seen a definition of it that isn't based on the idea that empathy is necessary for compassion, so i'm ignoring it, and i'll get to compassion later.

cognitive empathy: basically, thinking about feeling. cognitive empathy is the ability to recognise and understand emotions. it is involved with reading people's expressions, or understanding why a certain situation might cause a certain emotional response.

affective empathy: this is typically what people mean when they talk about empathy - the ability to feel what someone else is feeling.

it's extremely important to note that this is fucking impossible. 'feeling what someone else is feeling' is some sci-fi nonsense. it isn't real. the belief that it is causes a lot of harm.

affective empathy, properly defined, is the a person's emotional response to an emotion that they perceive someone else having. it isn't always as simple as 'i'm happy because they're happy'. affective empathy can also be involved in more complicated situations, like feeling afraid because of perceived anger (which leads to a whole conversation about hyperempathy and hypervigilance and the relationship between them, but that's a whole other post that someone who actually has feelings would be more qualified to write)

so that's empathy. it's really just a bunch of feelings that we have about or in relation to other people's feelings. there's no moral component to feelings whatsoever. morality only comes into play when action is involved. which leads me to...

compassion: being kind, not as an inherent state of being, but as a choice.

i'll talk about my own experience here, but i've heard similar from other people with low/no empathy, and i've heard similar from some pwASPD as well.

i choose to be kind because i believe it's the right thing to do. i see a lot of injustice in the world, and it makes me furious - in fact, for me, it's primarily my anger that fuels my compassion. my morals have been based partly on feeling, but also on logic, and on a lot of research. to me, being kind is logical and sensible. it's logical to want people to be happy and safe and free. it benefits me too, for starters.

i don't need to feel sad about people's suffering to want it to stop. and though i don't really feel much empathy, i do still get emotional about things - i can still be sad or angry or happy about certain things happening, it's just... less than other people.

i look at the world around me and i try to find things that i can do to make it better because i think that's my job as a human. sometimes i'm bad at it, and sometimes i'm too tired to, but at the very least i can refuse to cause harm, and when i do, inevitably, cause harm, i can make amends.

(there's also a long discussion to be had about how basing your morality on your ability to empathise with people makes it extremely easy to no longer care about people who have been dehumanised, but that's a post i don't feel qualified to make)

a book i am desperate to read on this subject is Against Empathy by Paul Bloom, but here's an article about it, which is of course not perfect, but makes a lot of interesting points: https://www.vox.com/conversations/2017/1/19/14266230/empathy-morality-ethics-psychology-compassion-paul-bloom

i hope that helps explain some things. if you have - or anyone else has - more questions, feel free to ask, and i'll do my best to answer.

[skippygiraffee]

Now I wanna hear more of your thoughts about Raihan and Leon and their insecurities wrt each other, and how they might solve them please.

absolutely, thank you for asking <3!! as per usual with me, I'm unsure how long this will be, so I'll put my thoughts under a read more for the sake of people's dashes/the tag. BUT I do think about these two a lot, especially this side of them, so I have a lot of thoughts floating around in the mind palace that I will try and materialize >:3c

I have a hard time picking a place to start with these two because the aforementioned mind palace is more like brain soup, and I'm trying to pick out the tasty bits from the broth with this one (meaning I think about it a lot, a lot) and it's hard to put pen to paper so to speak. but essentially, I doubt either of them started their careers with high self esteem to start with, and then I have in my own personal headcanon that Rose specifically pitted them against each other for the sake of numbers and marketing. it would be good for his bottom line, and Leon's brand as a champion, if he had a really strong and flashy rival, and Raihan was right there begging for the spotlight for various reasons.

when it comes down to each other specifically, however, here's a breakdown of some of those insecurities:

Leon is infinitely jealous of Raihan's freedom and that he has control over anything in his life

Raihan resents the effortless way in which maintains his popularity

Leon's body issues manifest in being spiteful towards Raihan's assumed ease with posting on social media

Raihan feels like Leon never has time for anything or anyone outside of Rose's elite circle of people

both think the other has social skills that they themselves seem to lack (for Leon it's interpersonal relationships and close friendships and for Raihan it's the way Leon is seemingly comfortable around and with powerful people), and they feel equally small when the other is in those settings

there's a lot of unresolved anger and tension from the years and years of being sold as rivals that has done immense damage to their relationship, and neither thinks they can overcome it

Raihan in convinced that Leon will always be, forever and always, out of reach in every possible way

Leon thinks he'll never be good enough for Raihan unless he remains at the top, the best, the undefeated Champion

to break some of them down a little more, Leon just doesn't have time for anything or anyone that isn't Rose or the League once he's Champion, and of course to anyone he's close with that's going to sting. and I think Raihan has a habit of questioning his place in people's lives, to the point that any shift in energy or attention can feel like the end of the world. so for Leon to just be busy with shit out of his control would definitely fester and build inside him, to the point where I think a lot of that boisterous energy on the field in battle is Raihan trying to let out that building anger towards Leon, when he logically knows it's not Leon's fault. however, logic and emotion don't always meet at the same junction, so Raihan and Leon have definitely had fights that spilled over into their shared friendgroup over how Leon will just ghost everyone for months on end.

I also think both want what the other has, in that childish way that kids always want what their friend is eating, but also in the very adult way of wishing their lives had turned out differently. Leon so desperately wishes that he wasn't caged up in Wyndon, forced to perform, forced to be Rose's left hand (because Oleana is his right, and Leon isn't even good enough to be there). he loves battling, loves his Pokemon, loves everything about what he does except being Champion. so he wants to be Raihan.

and Raihan is sick and tired of always being one step from the top, constantly reminded that he isn't good enough to be Champion. so painfully aware of the sacrifices that come with it, but he'd be fine with it for a taste of the adoration that Leon has. he wants to feel what it's like to wear the crown, be loved and cheered for, rather than hearing someone else's name being yelled from the stands the moment he enters the field anywhere but Hammerlocke. he wants to be Leon so bad it hurts, makes him privately bitter, and publicly aloof to avoid dealing with it.

Raihan has spent so long looking up, and Leon has spent so long feeling trapped I truly think it's a genuine shock to the system when the whole thing just stops. Leon wakes up in the morning Champion, and goes to bed dethroned. and it wasn't even Raihan who took his crown.

dealing with that is a whole other beast, you know? because they defined a good chunk of their relationship on the rivalry dynamic. do they scrap it, do they keep it, what do they do with that? how do they look at and deal with all the emotions being thrown right on the floor after Leon is defeated, because Leon is also dealing with the after effects of the whole Darkest Day event, which is at best just a natural disaster narrowly avoided, and at worst an extreme upheaval in the lives of so many people thanks to Rose being in prison and his company being left without leadership and Leon being left with lifelong ailments thanks to it.

honestly, once Leon is ready for the conversation, I think a lot of anger on both their parts comes out first. tears, yelling, the works. where they just start listing off all the built up anger and resentment from the years. it's not healthy, by any means, but they aren't sure how else to really lay it all out. and once it's out there they have to figure out how to deal with it, like unpacking an old closet and finding long forgetting items, and figuring out whether to toss or keep them. for Leon, he's just sorry, because he wishes he had been better for Raihan, for everyone, and he carries all the guilt in the world for the past decade or so of being Champion. he let everything fall to wayside, and now he has to figure both himself out and how he fits back into people's lives. for Raihan, he has to really really confront where his anger is coming from, and he hates that it's been staring at him in the mirror for a long time, being displaced onto Leon.

the legitimate things wrong with their relationship, like the foundation it was built on and how they talk to each other and treat each other, they work it out by slowly rebuilding everything. not from the ground up, because they can't erase what happened, and don't want to, but their rivalry is different. they battle together, but they'll be damned if the other outdoes them in making curry (Leon can't, but that's because both Hop and Raihan aren't sure what the fuck is up with his tastebuds). a lot of it is just them mellowing out, getting calmer about things, and doing their passions in different ways.

I dunno, I just like thinking of them as middle aged guys who still think their older mons can still duke it out like they're spry, and of course will for them, but Leon and Raihan laughing and having fun. and the local kids are wondering how these two were once these fierce rivals that their parents still talk about, when they're just sitting back and having a relaxed match. where the baggage of the past still comes up every now and then, but they get to sit down, have the time to talk about it, and come back better. I think more than anything they work it out with time and openness, honesty and compassion, more than anything. and it's what they deserve really.

[endopropaganda]

so what I'm hearing about SAS is that you don't like or understand nuance, you're unwilling to find out the kind of info on their blog yourself, even if those resources could benefit you and your followers, so you're deciding to just turn a blind eye to it

Is that right?

It sounds about right and I'm disappointed, SAS does more for the CDD community than most other blogs

Block me if you want, but I'm not wrong, the only reason all of you (general you to refer to the large number of newer anti blogs), is because they corrected antimisinfo for misinformation, antimisinfo called them an endo, leaked their main, and then tried to cover it up by telling everyone to block SAS

But sure, keep them blocked, keep telling all your followers to block them

As I explained in a previous post, we are conflicted on them mainly due to CROSSTAGGING. Which, as i already mentioned, causes overstimulation for us due to our autism (Aspergers, which is an outdated medical term, to be specific)

Endo neutrals are on our DNI, and if this is nuance, then we have every right to block them due to that making them endo neutral, which is stated on our DNI. We had been considering taking that off our DNI, but in light of this, fuck no, we aren't doing that.

Not once did we tell anybody to block SAS. We said WE were going to block SAS. And not because of their stance specifically, but because we have gotten almost 15 asks with conflicting ideas about SAS and want to STAY OUT OF DRAMA.

The fact that the narrative you made out of this is "Oh my god, you hate nuance" is the exact reason this blog exists. We are NOT a syscourse blog. We are a blog dedicated to pointing out logical fallacies in screenshots. How something SOUNDS and how something ACTUALLY IS are two VERY DIFFERENT things, and you cant make an opinion solely on how it sounds to you. Not only that, but your making a critical assumption without really knowing anything about us prior, So far, the only members of the system involved in this situation are me (Mocha) and Magenta. Neither of us are the headmate that runs this blog. This blog isn't run by just one person, either. So you're making an assumption about not only 3 PEOPLE who run a blog, but also an entire system's opinion on a situation. An entire system who doesn't even know this situation is happening and I can GUARANTEE you would not have anywhere near the same response as me. No. I am not going to block you, unless you send another one of these spontaneous, anger fueled hate asks. Because then, I will care even less than I do now.

I (Mocha), as a low empathy protector, do NOT give a shit what you think of my host's blog. The only thing I give a shit about is when people make assumptions without sufficient information about the topic they are making assumptions about. I will be removing anon asks for the time being. Since this situation has caused Magenta several episodes. We will not be engaging in this situation further, and if any attempts by others are made to continue to engage, it will be ignored.

Thank you and goodnight.

-Sincerely, A very petty and pissed off Mocha

extra part to this post

[merrilldidnothingwrong]

Cassandra recruiting Cullen would've made sense if the writers had the backbone to write the story honestly. Instead of the "Templars are actually the good ones and Grey Wardens are bad" nonsense we got, they should've followed the tread created in the previous games.

Cassandra is VERY pro-Chantry, pro-Templars and anti-mage. She is the worst choice for Divine because she just puts everything back the way it was. The logical path for Cassandra's character would be for her to recruit Cullen for one reason only: He is anti-mage. Extremely so. And to Cassandra, who probably hopes that this new Inquisition will be like the one of old, he is the right type of person for that job.

A Templar to go against the pro-mage attitude of both Leliana and Josephine. Bring back the Inquisition of old. Restore the Chantry to the way it was.

But the writers were cowards so we get this nonsense instead.

Honestly, yes. The fact of the matter is that Cassandra and Cullen are very similar as characters. And that doesn't speak well of Cassandra.

So much of Cassandra's character and story in-game very much parallels what the writers claim Cullen's story is. A Seeker who joined the order full of fire and belief, who committed horrible acts in the name of those beliefs, but after times of having those questioned, those beliefs are shattered by a revelation. And yet.

Just like Cullen, Cassandra doesn't do any true growing in the events of the game. While she's horrified when she learns the truth of Seekers and the Rite of Tranquility, that doesn't cause any massive change in her worldview, and more significantly, it doesn't offer the opportunity for the player to push her to change her worldview, the way an earlier DA game might have. Indeed, the game also goes out of its way to excuse and ignore everything Cassandra's done as a servant of the Chantry, in order to sell its centrist viewpoint.

This isn't to utterly disparage Cassandra and to say that she's beyond any kind of growth or improvement, or to make people feel guilty about liking her before understanding the context that Inquisition goes out of its way to hide. Cassandra was my first romance in Inquisition, before I really figured out what the fuck was going on with the story.

And ultimately, I think that Bioware's determination to hide and misrepresent the truth about characters like Cullen and Cassandra and the Chantry in general is what angers me the most. It betrays Bioware's unwillingness to commit to the deep story of the dangers of religions as political institutions, or to admit that the people in power aren't everything they're cracked up to be. (I'll probably expand on this point in another post now that I'm thinking about it)

To sum it up, yes, anon, you're completely right. The game and the story would have been much better served if Bioware had committed to acknowledging Cassandra and Cullen's pro-Templar stances being what they are. - Mod Alistair

[otts-the-verminqueen]

SBG/Star Rail! Time to combine again!

Gonna think about which paths and types each of the kids would have.

~~~

Ashlyn

Path: Hunt

Hunt path characters tend to admire determination, ruthlessness and tenacity, and I feel like she fits at least two of those qualities. She's a very determined person (15 years without making friends, jeez) and she can be pretty ruthless (very blunt with her words).

Type: Physical

She just gives me the vibe that she'd be a physical type character, honestly. I don't think there's really any criteria for type for Star Rail characters anyway, so.

Logan

Path: Erudition

Erudition path characters admire thinking, logic, and strategy. Honestly, I feel like Logan fits all of those qualities pretty well.

Type: Imaginary or Quantum

I honestly think he would fit either of these types really well, though I lean more toward Imaginary for him.

Aiden

Path: Destruction

Destruction path characters admire recklessness, anger, and destructive behavior, and while Aiden doesn't really fit with anger, he is definitely a reckless person and I feel like he's participated in quite a few self-destructive behaviors before.

Type: Fire or Lightning

I lean more toward Fire for him, but I could also seem him being a Lightning character.

Ben

Path: Abundance

I would have listed Destruction as well, but Ben isn't really a reckless or destructive person in the story. He was, but he's not really like that anymore. Abundance path characters admire selflessness, altruism, and healing, and well, Ben is kind of the group's healer, so I think it fits for him.

Type: Physical

Could just be because Physical has a gray symbol and Ben wears a lot of gray, but he gives me the vibe of be Physical type.

Tyler

Path: Preservation

Preservation characters admire patience, sacrifice, and defensive behavior, and Tyler fits with the patience and sacrifice at least. I mean, he's really patient with Taylor, and he's patient with their mother, who still seems very lost in her grief. While he may not have the best of patience with a lot of other people, I see it with his family. And he basically sacrificed his whole childhood to make sure his sister and mother were taken care of.

Type: Fire

I think part of it is really just his temper, but he does give me the vibe of a Fire type character.

Taylor

Path: Harmony

Harmony path characters admire understanding, support, and cooperation. Taylor fits all of these in my opinion, so I feel like this is honestly the perfect path for her. She's very supportive of the group, and does her best to be cooperative herself and get others to cooperate as well. And she's shown on multiple occasions that she's a very understanding person.

Type: Lightning

I don't really know why she gives me the vibe of a Lightning type, but she just does, so I'll just go with it.

~~~

Let me know your thoughts! Do you agree with this, or would you list them under different paths or types?

I will get around to figuring out which Aeons I think each of them would follow. Not all of the Aeons are associated with a path, so there will be another Star Rail/SBG post later, but this is what I've got for now. This idea has been sitting in my head for a while and I needed to get it out.

[deathfavor]

Something I love about these last two chapters is we REALLY get to see the troupe's understanding of Chrollo. Of course we KNOW they know him, but this is a different level than we've seen before in canon versus common fanon. We've KNOWN they deeply care about him; the whole Yorknew City arc made that clear and also brought about the interesting situation of where different members stand - whether the put Chrollo as a being first or Chrollo's ideals / beliefs for the Troupe first. And there's no wrong answer here (okay there is to Chrollo actually but he doesn't hold it against them). Both valuing Chrollo as an individual as well as putting his command "the spider before any individual" show that the members CARE about him. This isn't a secret. They all go to such lengths to show they care about him.

But caring doesn't necessarily mean you UNDERSTAND someone. We see that in so many other bonds and connections in HxH. People care but they misunderstand, or don't actually know how a person will react despite thinking they do.

This isn't the case with The Troupe. They all understand each other so deeply, and we did see some of that back with Yorknew City arc, but 405 & 406 are when we get to see it in regards to CHROLLO specifically. Because even in all the times we see him, he remains a very ELUSIVE character; both in understanding and even just in panels or frames in the anime.

But here we have Bonolenov saying he knows Chrollo is struggling with inner conflict and emotion. With a character like Chrollo, it could easily be brushed off as this being one character's point of view, but what makes this so EFFICIENT in that IMMEDIATELY in the next chapter we have Chrollo confirm that Bonolenov was right. " I'm struggling to control these conflicting emotions. Patience is a virtue, but I can't afford to wait around either. " I don't think this would have been NEARLY as effective if we had this Chrollo introspection 3 or 4 chapters later. The fact the chapters are back to back drives how well he's understood, especially because to this point, Chrollo's shown very little signs of truly being shaken by anything that's happened beside a panel or two. Furthermore, we have the other troupe members comments + Bonolenov explicitly saying that the rest of the Troupe wants to find Hisoka first BECAUSE they all know what state Chrollo is in and they all know Chrollo is just ACTING composed.

They know Chrollo knows. And they all know he knows they know. But he keeps acting the same because he is logical first and foremost. It's just cracking at the seams. He acts because Chrollo struggles to understand himself, to identify himself, and this anger and pain forces him to be more of an individual rather than an abstract concept ( i.e. recall when asked who he is he simply says "The Spider" ) which isn't something he's been for a LONG time. Since the Troupe began, really.

This is far from any eloquent or pretty post, and it's become something of a ramble, but the point is that I love it's canon now just how deeply the troupe understands Chrollo and vice versa, even if Chrollo's presently struggling. Not just in a logical sense, but even understanding Chrollo's emotional state better than Chrollo himself currently is. Hence why they're working so hard to find Hisoka first, even though Chrollo wants to personally kill him again.

[moonmoonthecrabking]

who will pray for you when your body's gone?

aka a post that was going to be two and then i thought more and went FUCK

because, okay, when i first heard this line, i thought it was grace's internal proof of her superior christianity. while what she values primarily is her chastity (vibrating with anger at evangelical purity culture btw), she absolutely has a superiority complex around her faith. she doesn't swear, she's a christian unlike shapiro, a catholic (this also really pisses me off when i come across it irl, and believe me i have). so, now that either she wasn't following God anymore (who was left to pray for him), or she was the Real Christian in hatchetfield who kills jason (who would pray for him if she wouldn't), he was alone.

and then i realised - grace doesn't pray that much onstage. this makes logical sense, it'd only really work in a monologue or soliloquy (think charlotte in tgwdlm before you tied up my heart). because, you know, you're talking to someone who not only doesn't talk back but also isn't onstage. in a physical form. you know what i mean.

the two instances grace has of talking to God in any way (which is praying, feel free to use the terms interchangeably), or one and a half, is when the chasitys say amen after grace (food prayer, not the character) (i'm counting this as the half because normally one person says grace, we don't know if it was mark or karen instead, but i mean you're praying *with* someone even if you don't say anything. i'm also counting as half because we don't see the prayer, just the end, because it's a scene transition). the other is "and now he's leaving me out to dry! DO SOMETHING YOU SON OF A BITCH!" now, as a christian and therefore the authority on all christian matters (this is a joke please take it as one), it's not considered the best thing to call God a son of a b-word, and i personally haven't done so. however, this can be thought of - and stick with me here - as a slightly excessive form of a lament. i personally interpret lament to be less "God, you bitch" and more "hey, God, what the fuck" (i have said that one). laments are found in the Bible, (there's a book called lamentations, and iirc there are some in psalms). however, she regrets this prayer because, look, i'm not going to act as all-knowing, but lament is complex. basically, grace could internally see this as her rebelling against religion in the strict bounds that were set out for her, or maybe trying to command God? i'd personally say accidentally killing your classmate and excusing it by saying it was God's plan is a worse representation of God than saying "do something", but i'm bisexual and will be dead at some point, so who am i to judge?

after having this realisation, i realised that grace doesn't actually talk to the lib either. the closest she gets is saying their names in the summoning, but steph is the only one who actually talks to them. grace looks like she's in physical pain (which i have my reasons behind thinking, but they're more or less irrelevant). even when she's devouring the souls of the pervs, she never actually says "thanks to my boys, the lib". she doesn't say grace while metaphysical eating, for shame. you should be thankful for your food, chasity

and like. it's interesting, right? i don't have any major conclusions on this for the moment, but i'm curious if anyone here as any thoughts on this?

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR Rambles 7 days

Have you considered I've gone mad.

Wacky perhaps?

It's the gay ass forest scene bitches and my long winded thoughts.

WELCOME TO MY GAMER PAD. SORRY FOR THE MESS I JUST GET SO TILTED AT THE TOWERS.

Shadow Link calling VIO weird is so funny to me. Just casual spying. Nothing weird. Noticing every tiny detail about him...Nothing weird.

Shadow related to Vio and that's why he went for him over any of the others. XD

Let's go down the list shall we?~

Red's too much of a crybaby to even consider humoring not suitable for the darkness too much of a wuss. Sorry Red we're thinking with Shadow's logic here, also Red's a big baby.

Blue's too much of an arrogant hot head and I imagine Shadow would assume they'd butt heads too much to work with cleanly. Also, Shadow would be in range to be smacked with a hammer and that sounds unpleasant. Though I do think Blue would be a close second considering he could have his anger pointed at the other 3... Shadow could be like "Oh you know, the other 3 are just too...combative with your greatness"

Green's too much of a goody too shoes. Also I love the vibe we all get that he kinda HATES Green. X'D

(This is like, a prevalent idea in the fandom and I find it hysterical despite me ya know...Shipping Green x Vio x Shadow X'D Shadow tries to get along with everybody more in FSR though)

That leaves the quiet angsty one that already seems to be having doubts going through similar emotional struggles as Shadow Link.

Which one would YOU pick? X'D The choice is obvious.

I brought this up on the actual comic post but I'll bring it up again: I also think the timing for them being split up is very...Sus on Shadow's part. Like, I think Shadow split them up to talk to Vio alone and get the other 3 in parrel imo. And waited till Vio was tired from fighting through the forest to confront him. Everyone else's scenes take place during the day, Vio's is at night. Considering Shadow's the one who presumably used magic to split them up and swiped Red's sword right off his back we know the dude is following em around.

Just a set up page. leads into the next scene. There's not a lot special to say about it. Vio recognizes "Oh shit this isn't right" right away.

I like the last 2 panels of Shadow just waiting for Vio cause he's in control of the situation.

Dark Link finally says something of substance. About himself anyways.

So far he's only been repeating people's insecurities back at them, you'd be forgiven for assuming that he doesn't HAVE a character of his own. Nope he does. XD

He reveals he's sneaking through Shadow's memories which is something he's surprised he can do. Shadow's previous assumption that the curse doesn't affect him at all is wrong considering this information...Or perhaps Dark Link can just comb through anyone's insecurities. We'll see...

We get a panel of what Shadow looks like in the headspace. He has the scar on his chest visible lol. FSR Shadow has a scar from the Four Sword blast he takes in the manga's events. Because angst that's why. Also Vio and Shadow are together, but this was mainly done to show they were together in the real world. Dark Link isn't directly talking to Shadow here like he did with Vio and Green. He's just watching. Menacingly!!!!

Dark Link thinks of Shadow Link as a "Traitor" to his "Master" Vaati.

Conformation he is FOR SURE working for Vaati and not just and extension of Vaati.

He not so slyly mentions he'd rather read with and hug Vio than work...showing a weird urge to be close to the four sword wielders. Which is amusing considering the hug he gave Vio earlier ended in Dark Link strangling him and his hug with Green wasn't very pleasant for Green.

He also whines he doesn't wanna work at all. Realizing he should pay more attention to the flashback lol.

So he's for sure odd.

He really likes hugs and wants to have fun with the Four Swords gang, even though eh doesn't care for how THEY feel during his "Fun".

His body language suggests he's just relaxing and amused.

We don't get a lot to work with for him as of now.

Somebody described him as "pining" in this scene and I find that fucking hilarious so I'd thought I'd mention it. I've drawn him a shit ton with swift violets dude is down bad for Vio. X'D

Back to Vidow- X'D

Shadow further relates to Vio's feelings of being alone and Vio notices his mistake. I've mentioned before but DAMN does he look SAD in the pages where Shadow talks to him: Cause like again. He's not talking bad about Vio at least not directly.

He's insulting the other 3 and gassing Vio up as better but Vio's inability to fit in with HIMSELF really hurts and someone like SHADOW of all people being able to see right through that has to hurt even more.

Anyways I've brought this up again a million times but I find it interesting Shadow doesn't do the typical "Join us" speech of

"You're worthless without the darkness" Rather he says more along the lines of

"You're already great, join the darkness because you're wasting your greatness with those losers"

Like maybe this is normal (The pool of media I engage with is rather small.) but I'm so used to villains telling heroes how shit they are to their face rather than pumping them up. It's a very interesting approach and following Shadow's character later through the manga this is just another reason why I think he was being genuine to some degree when he approached Vio.

I'd go with it was pure manipulation: If Shadow didn't continue to blow smoke up Vio's ass through the rest of their time together. X'D Like if it was "Oh I told you how great you are now I'm gonna shit talk you to show you I'm better" but nah, he like, just keeps being nice lmfao.

We see him snap when Vio lifts the sword up when it shines brightly but I see that as a fear response rather than him like actually mad or trying to put Vio down, he comes off as more anxious than angry to me in that scene? Because he repeats Vio's on their side and when Vio affirms he IS he calms right the fuck back down. Gave him a mini heart attack Vio lol.

Anyways back to what's going on in FSR:

The realization "Oh shit I let my guard down around him" is also a mortifying thought. Like think of how CLOSE Vio LET Shadow get to him. He didn't push him off in the English anyways he just weakly tells Shadow to let go of him. He has a sword, right in his hand lmao. Bro could have like, took an actual swing or smth He points his sword at him but that wasn't a genuine attempt to hit him. but the second Shadow KNEW he wouldn't After he pushed the sword away in the most gay way possible he just kept getting closer and closer and VIO LET HIM.

LIKE.

BRO.

HELLO?

DO SOMETHING?

Nah. Shadow's words make him DROP HIS WEAPON.

The urge to fight Shadow off completely lost. Dude lowkey just gave up.

Benefit of the doubt here for Vio: Fighting Shadow in the woods is a bad idea because Vio is weakened from fighting monsters all day, he's alone They got their asses beat at Hyrule castle with one swing of his sword and there was four of them, but letting him get close is ALSO a bad idea. X'D

Shadow's in a good mood and maybe Vio just didn't wanna piss him off Counter argument, he draws his sword in the first place Shadow could have flew into a rage over just that but this bitch is dangerous Vio, and he STILL drops his guard lol. I just find how Vio handled the woods scene very interesting it really shows the weaknesses he has.

Haha so I've made 2 super gay continuations of this scene but this is a more serious take on it.

Vio's PANICING because the terror is setting in and Shadow keeps pushing.

And then he says it, the thing!

"Wouldn't it just be easier to kill me"

AND YEAH VIO YA GOT A GOOD POINT. WHY DIDN'T HE?

I've already pointed this out: but the very idea Shadow wants to befriend one rather than outright killing all four is very interesting.

He wants a friend so bad it's sad.

None of the Hinoxes or vaati's minions are like, beings he could consider "Friends" Which is sad. Vaati and Ganon aren't his friends. One's his boss and another is a guy who bosses him around lmfao. And in FSR is an abusive dad figure

Rather: Befriending an enemy is an easier option than trusting/befriending his own team. Like ouch. We KNOW from the manga he outright states Vio's the first person he can trust. He doesn't feel he can trust Vaati or Ganon which is just OUCH.

Further: The recruitment plan requires SO MUCH MORE EFFORT than just killing Vio while he's vulnerable which Vio brings up here.

Shadow slyly mocks this notion bringing up just how heartless that'd be. Comparing them all the further.

Interesting thing to note:

Shadow also doesn't outright kill the knights and would rather make them "A big happy family in the dark world" which is interesting. Shadow's avoidance to outright kill people is probs just to keep the rating like, ya know. Not T or M but still interesting from a CHARACTER angle. The only people he outright tries to kill are the four Links. X'D

Another option: Shadow is no stranger to kidnapping. He could have just kidnapped one of them. Would that work as long as befriending one genuinely? No, probably not. Befriending one is a more "Permanent" solution unless you hide the kidnapped one somewhere they can't escape or be found. And then we loop around to "Why not just kill them?"

AU where Shadow Kidnaps Vio and they have a beauty and the beast style romance where-

Here's another stream of thought: Why bother coming to Vio AT ALL if he already has Red's sword? Which we know at this point he does. HE HAS A TRUMP CARD? if they can't get the sword back because their journey IS TIME BASED: They lose.

Why does he go for the risky option of converting one of them to the darkness at all?

And if you STILL aren't convinced this is weird ass hell Okay here's ANOTHER idea I just came up with on the fly while writing this: Steal Vio's sword too. The one Vio points right at his fucking face and he could like...yank away. Shadow doesn't even have to kill him himself if he leaves Vio defenseless in the woods.

Like here's smth as a writer I'm not sure how often regular viewers even consider: Alternate choices.

"Character A COULD have done this...but they CHOSE to do this instead" What they DON'T do says just as much as what they DO, and I'll go further into that with ANOTHER choice that makes no sense to me.

And I'm not complaining about the writing by the way I LOVE how this specifically makes no sense because it leaves the door opening to asking "WHY". And we're ignoring the explanation of "Because x has to happen for plot reasons" because we ask "IN THE BOUNDERIES OF THE STORY WHY!?" because that's more fun than "Well he can't just kill Vio because then Vio would be dead and the story would be over" okay but that's not FUN to ask/fun as a response??? What kind of soulless unfun monster do you have to be to accept that as your reality? X'D

AND WHY ARE YOU READING THE SEVENTH INSTALLMENT OF ME OVER ANALYSING THIS BOOK WHILE RANTING ABOUT MY OWN OVER ANALYZED CHOICES MAKING A FAN SEQUEL IF YOU FEEL THAT WAY LMFAO.

Anyways like have you realized just how ODD Shadow's choice to befriend Vio is yet? Like because the manga plays it off as "Oh well it just happened" We don't get to sink in just how WEIRD it is I feel??? Like ALL the reasons why brain thinks "Holy shit that's fruity" because LIKE- I'VE LAYED EM ALL OUT RIGHT THERE IT MAKES NO SENSE TO DO THIS PLAN UNLESS HE'S JUST LIKE- IN LOVE WITH HIM??? None of Shadow's choices around Vio are rational and it's hysterical.

One of my absolutely favorite lines from this update is "Have you forgotten? I'm the hero! I'm here to save you!"

Because on some level Shadow WOULD think he's saving one of them from a horrible fate being merciful and kind to one of them. If he truly wanted to befriend one. Bro is 100% legit here while being kinda mocking towards Vio's assumptions about him. Emphasizing "he just wants to help".

Vio's utterly flabbergasted/horrified face was fun. There's no thought bubble so it really leaves you to wonder what's going through his head from those words.

The "I GOT HIM! I ACTUALLY GOT HIM!" face is so hilarious to me. Like- He's so fucking giddy here it's hysterical.

Smth to point out particular to FSR Vio: Vio's tugging on Shadow here is a nod to him doing that in the library when he wordlessly wants Shadow to come closer.

I imagine Vio has a hard time talking verbally about what he wants. And he's not even too sure WHAT he wants here. He just wants to feel better.

Smth about FSR Vio specifically is he kinda just wants someone else to do the thinking for once, but feels obligated to think anyway. X'D

He's at the point of "Somebody just help me" but can't put that to words.

His smile tones down into a much more....Pleasant one. He's genuinely happy Vio's coming along lol. Friend acquired.

Shadow awards Vio with the high honor of: Keeping his sword.

Back with my insanity to speak on why as Shadow Link, THIS MAKES NO SENSE TO DO.

I find interesting that Shadow implicitly trusts Vio with smth that he SHOWS himself to be anxious about Vio keeping might I add once again...Like he let Vio keep his sword seemingly despite better judgment. If he took it along with Red's, Vio/the four sword gang would be fucked without it.

Here's my thoughts on why Shadow would let Vio keep his sword: Shadow is TRYING to show Vio he's an equal.

Because let's think of it in story land perspective: Vio only uses his sword in 2 scenes that are like RELIVANT before Shadow tries to burn Vio and takes the sword anyway: *The one where his sword glows (If they're already hanging out with Red's sword in Vaati's pad this could have been kept in imo) *Where he fights Green

It'd be easy to write around Shadow letting him keep his sword.

"Surrender your sword to lord vaati to prove your devotion" or smth.

But nah. he's just allowed to keep it for whatever reason.

Shadow always could have just given him a different sword and confiscated the Four Sword but was like: Nope, you get to keep it.

Like again: This choice is odd no matter how you slice it so it makes me think Shadow wanted to show he sees Vio as an equal by letting him keep the weapon that could be used against them.

Or perhaps: It's short sightedness: "Well we have Red's sword so yours is kinda useless" I'm up for either interpretation really. (If you haven't noticed, I'm open to a LOT of angles from FS because I'm not SUPER narrow in my analysis.

Unlike some people who need to lighten up lmfao. Good god I've seen some people seemingly act defensive about FSR specific ideas...And I can't tell if they're just talking ABOUT me/FSR but like: Bro I'm so open to alt ideas as long as somebody isn't a dick. And you'd know that if you read these, FSR is SPECIFICALLY about the choices and ideas I've decided make the most sense/the most fun route to go down because unlike a lot of people I hold the idea of "If it isn't outright stated it's not cannon" so ANYTHING outside of the author's written page ISN'T CANNON. Literally I never claim any of my rambles are cannon do I think some things are true? Hell yeah, but they aren't conformed at the end of the day lmfao but I'm an artists and I can draw what I want so I got the power to make shit real in it's own way. They're inspections of the cannon and interpretations. I can never be Akira Himikawa and the translators who translated their work to english. I question their choices ALL THE DAMN TIME I can't even get close to fully getting inside their heads. (It's been SO LONG since they made this manga I doubt they remember every single dialogue/expression choice they made and WHY.)

Even the English translation's cannon-ness is up for fucking debate in my eyes, FSR is SO out of the realm of cannon/cannon adjacent it's hysterical. Because my ideas aren't "The one true right and correct ones" they're not even close. Nobody's are. ONLY AKIRA'S ARE BECAUSE THEY MADE IT. Apart of why FSR is so wonky is because it's going off the wonky Viz translation NOT THE OG Japanese! (I'd love to translate FSR into Japanese at some point, but as I've stated in the past it'd be based on the Japanese manga so wording/some things would outright be different lmfao)

Why are some people such freaks about this? X'D I don't engage with FS media that I find butchers the characters but I don't like to rant about it for the most part because getting mad at someone else's interpretation is kinda goofy considering how open the source material IS. Gatekeepy fandom culture is weird. Enough said.

This goes back to my: Link is as fluid as a Vocaloid.

and the "you will never make something as close to the OG as the author would" arguments.

And sometimes even AUTHORS butcher sequels by seemingly forgetting their own characters. (Akira is not an example of this but still)

Anyways back to the page:

Vio's just kinda broken on auto piolet at this point, thoughtlessly thanking Shadow for picking up his sword and walking as Shadow drags him along. Shadow's basically SKIPPING with delight at this revelation.

He "saved "one. And now they can both be true heroes! :D How nice how fun! Vio joined the party!~

I will mention Shadow's so wrapped up in how happy he is he's kinda neglecting how Vio feels about the situation. At least right away.

Shadow's excited to immediately get him into the loop. Shadow's biggest character trait in scenes with Vio imo is his naivety.

Vio's bamboozled at his own actions. Reflecting. It's like he's watching from a 3rd person perspective as he's making shitty choices. X'D

"Crap why AM i going with him????"

Like he realizes in real time he's not doing anything to stop Shadow, he didn't in the moment and now here we are.

And then "This was hopeless from the start huh?" coming to grips with his situation, deciding going with Shadow is for the best for now but not as his ally as nobodies ally. He's alone.

Shadow makes an effort to soothe Vio's anxieties. In his own way of course. He just assumes Vio's got butterflies lmao.

Pushing down Vaati not so casually. XD

Vio starts to pretend outright here. Making his choice that he and Shadow aren't pals.

Vio knows what he's doing right now is cruel but decides it's what he "Needs" to do.

Haha sounds like our Vio.

He realizes he just doesn't go about things the way Link would, or how the rest would.

He also dampens his expectations. He doesn't know the other's situations. So he assumes they're all fucking dead and he can't rely on them lmao. He really feels alone. Cutting himself off when he realizes the very idea they could be alive is an optimistic idea considering he knows ONE of them doesn't have their sword from Shadow's sly remark.

Diving into head cannons again: Feel like he'd be more worried if he knew for sure in this moment it was Red. X'D Cause like: I combed through the manga awhile back, Vio seems to have the best relationship with Red out of all of them? When I was seeking for "moments where Vio was touched by someone else other than Shadow" I noticed he pats Red lovingly on the head and is the one to save Red from getting crushed by the eye monster. We don't get like, VERBAL interactions from them but from the context clues I'd say Vio got along with Red the most.

Vio ended up in the most direct danger in the woods, Link waltzed into the pyramid Shadow didn't put him in there so that doesn't count. X'D I'd say Blue was in the 2nd most dangerous position considering the elements could kill his ass.

Vio's going off his own experience here on if he thinks the others are okay.

"I am surrounded by idiots" taken to the extreme.

"but even if I'm the only one here I'll still do what needs to be done"

Real Mikasa's speech after losing Arin from the Struggle for Trost arc vibes I realize. X'D

False confidence at best and lying.

He dampens his own desires just to do what needs to be done. His devotion to Zelda more important. Saving Zelda all that matters.

I really wanna dive into Vio's relationship with Zelda. (Feel like it'll be more prominent in the stories AFTER FSR's main story if we get that far sadly agh.)

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Idk if you know, but there's lots of people defending Mal with her actions and in a way bashing Uma for the same thing that Mal did but she is doing it so that she can free the vks. But majority say that Beast is the real villain and not Mal or Uma, though they're still very wrong.

What do you think?

That its stupid to call Beast the real villain. Idiot? Yes. But the real villain? Give me a break. He's literally just a plot device in this franchise that basically became the Mal show and once his job was done, he's just like the other characters: there to support Mal and nothing else.

The film's only used him to establish who was a, in charge of this kingdom and whose kid is taking over afterwards and b, to show who established the Isle. That's it. You could literally replace him in that plot with any other royal character and nothing would change. That's how loose the writing is.

If he was the real villain, he'd be doing more, but he isn't- he's just there in the end by third film to the point he just, fucking disappears with Belle during the whole Audrey thing, with us just assuming they got turned to stone or put to sleep. If he was the real villain and trust me I think its stupid, but you know what I think that scenario would be? He'd either be a secret manipulator over the three films, waiting for the right time to prove how right he was about the Isle and maybe even try to take power back from Ben cause clearly Ben's not fit to rule, or he'd just be under another curse that's affected how he acts and shit. But he is neither of these situations, and therefore, its stupid.

And before anyone says, "But Megan, the council meeting-" that was ALLLL Mal. Beast didn't have to say crap to Mal to get Mal to instantly suggest closing the barrier forever. If anything, Belle's the one to ask Mal what do they do. Where's my villain Belle posts by this logic about how she pressured Mal and shit? ...Don't actually do that. Beast literally stood by as Mal without hesitation, suggested closing down the barrier forever, maybe tried to say stuff to Ben, but Mal was the one who basically cornered Ben into agreeing to it. And I'm sorry, but given how batshit the idea was to just, bring down the barrier and free even the villains, I'm almost with Beast in his reaction in that scene because holy shit, it was just the villain kids that needed freedom, not the villains! Did everyone just forget how Maleficent acted when free?! If they had just specified they were going to free all the villain kids and Beast still reacted like that, I'd get the hate, but no, Mal's just like, "Time to bring the barrier down and free even the villains-"

And just...don't get me started on the Mal and Uma thing- its already such bullshit the films act like its fine Mal did a love potion while its evil if Uma does it, since Uma only did it as apart of her plan to free the VKs while Mal technically originally did it as apart of her plan to steal the wand...but we know how that went, with Mal never telling Ben the truth about the love spell and suffering zero consequences to the point its viewed as okay when she says she did the love spell at her graduation in Escape From The Isle Of The Lost. To say this kingdom is full of hypocrites is an understatement. But this franchise basically encouraged this thinking really, with the idea that Uma is somehow the villain of D2 when some of her anger is still directed at Mal for what Mal did to her when younger and yet Mal is never made to face those actions, with her not even acknowledging it when 'apologizing' to Uma in D3. Like she maybe only acknowledges her actions towards Audrey if anything, but never Uma.

[44-mr-midnight-44]

TW: Suicide/S/H mentions, abuse mentions, but an overall silly post

Dude it is UNCANNY how similar I am to Heart

Like I see a lot of Heart kinnies who relate to him a lot and I just think "man, it must be nice to have a healthy amount of similarities to him, because I sure don't"

For reference:

Besides the like fifty minor things in my Carrd, my immediate family is composed only of my twin brother and my mother.

My twin brother is, as you might assume, very similar to Mid; we used to get along! Then we grew apart. And in hindsight, throughout my entire childhood him telling me everything I did was for attention didn't really benefit me when I was older.

He's a very logical, often to a fault person; has pretty bad anger issues too, and issues with authority. He's what one would call a "Reddit Atheist", and is a very blunt person who has little regard for anyone he hurts the feelings of when he confronts them.

My mother is a lot like me, but not really in any good way. She's overly emotional, has so many bad things happen to her constantly, is driven by spite, and of course, threatens suicide constantly. I kid you not, when I came to her about self-harming she threatened to kill herself because of it.

Even more notably, my mother highly favours my brother for being lower-maintenance and makes sure I am well-aware that my brother is better than me because he causes less problems and costs less money (although "apparently" she loves us equally).

Away from venty territory, probably another really uncanny similarity is that I am literally photophobic.

For those who don't know what that means, no, I'm not afraid of light, the light hurts my eyes.

In my case, it's more irritation than pain, but can become painful if it's not treated adequately. I'm always wearing sunglasses when I'm out of my very dim house as a result, and blink a lot throughout the day.

School days would consist of a lot of requests to turn off the lights as well as a lot of visits to the nurse to ask for sunglasses.

This has been happening since at the latest sixth grade. Nobody knows why I have this, it's just been deteriorating very, very slowly, and isn't fun alongside my traditional visual impairment.

And you know who else avoids the light and is visually damaged by it and also is just generally visually-impaired? Mmhm.

Basically all of my negative qualities directly can be found in Heart, too.

Extreme anger, extreme sadness, suicidal ideologies, violent fantasies, trauma from an inescapable bad situation, sensitivity, weakness, impulsivity, envy, hatefulness, cowardice, helplessness, these are all essentially my worst qualities and Heart's. And even more akin to Heart, I have the potential to be logical! But I'm not taken seriously and am dismissed as emotional.

Not to mention that I'm a very baby-faced and young-looking person who acts younger than they are.

HECK I LITERALLY LOOK REALLY SIMILARLY TO CHONNY AS WELL (this you'll have to take my word for as I'm not leaking a photo of myself)

There's more but those are all the ones I'm gonna say rn bc I am LAZYYYYYYYY!

But yeah, I'm Heart you guys Heart in real life.