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yamumsyadadd · 2 days ago

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Part of the Mariquita universe. Others can be found here:

mariquita , mami and mama, accident, different

Talks of adoption trauma, birth, anxiety. Little over 6k.

There was a weird energy around the apartment, it was hard for you to pinpoint exactly what it was.

After the suspension from school and then removal and enrolment into the new school, you thought you’d be grounded. No tv, no iPad, no fun. But that wasn’t the case at all. Besides going shopping for a new school uniform, no one said anything about it.

During Christmas dinner, your Abuela seemed to be stuck to you like glue. Whenever you went, she went. If you wanted a drink, she was up before you finished the sentence. Constantly filling your plate up with food to the point where you felt sick. When you finally got home, you asked your Mami about it.

“Is abuela dying?”

“Que? Why would you say that?”

“She wouldn’t leave me alone. stuck to me like a baby.” At the word baby, both Olga and Alexia tensed. They were keeping a secret, a big secret that would change the way everything was.

“I think she’s just sad you’re growing up. You used to be so little and cute.” Your Mami pinched your cheeks affectionately.

“Maybe you should have another baby so she can annoy it.” The air in the room changed again, but you were either blissfully unaware or just didn’t care.

“Right, it’s late, you should go to sleep. We have a busy few days!” Your Mami all but shoved you down the hallway. Turning back to Olga and waiting until the cost was clear, “this is going to be harder then I thought.”

“we could just tell her amor. I think she’ll be happy.”

“A few more days okay? We’ll go away, just the three of us, spend some quality time together and then we can tell her in the new year.”

The break between Christmas and new year, have your family some much needed rest. La Molina ski resort was only two hours from Barcelona. It was far enough away to feel like a proper holiday but close enough that if needed, your family could return quickly.

The hotel room was big enough to fit you, your Mami, abuela and tia alba if they were invited. There were two beds in your room, secretly deciding to sleep in both just because you could.

Neither your Mami or Olga joined you for skiing, which wasn’t necessarily out of the ordinary, the last time you went to the snow, only Olga joined and she wasn’t very good so since then she has watched. Ice skating however, that’s something you’d do, the three of you, at the Christmas markets in Mollet, sometimes tia alba would join but she was even worse at ice skating then Olga was at skiing.

You were sent to join the kids club for a few hours while Olga and your Mami relax, alexia insisted, stating it would be good for you to make new friends, as if you wouldn’t have to spend the rest of the school year making new friends.

Skiing was fun, freeing. You suppose it’s how your Mami nd mama feel when they play football or how Olga feels when she’s on a plane to a different city. You like skiing, more than you’ve ever liked football, but it was a winter sport and it’s didn’t usually snow cold to Barcelona so it’s just a holiday sport to you.

For a few hours you were gone, Mami and Olga were relaxing, brain storming ideas on how to tell you the big news. Well, the two big events that were going to be happening. They decided that after lunch was the best time to do so.

“Marquita, we need to talk to you about something.” It was Olga who spoke, wiping her hands on the paper towel.

“Am I in trouble?”

“No Bebé! Not at all. We are moving.”

“What? Where?”

“Sant Just Desvern. Into a house, one with more bedrooms, a backyard. Closer to your new school and to the Joan.”

“Oh. Am I, am I coming too?” If alexia wasn’t so wrapped up in all the big changes that were about to happen she would’ve realised the extent of the question.

“OF course you are Mari! You get first pick on what bedroom you want, and we will go shopping for however you want to decorate it.”

It went silent after that. There was still trauma and anxiety about what happened to you before alexia and Jenni adopted you. Sometimes, it would creep up. Usually you did a good job of communicating it, either with your Mami and mama or with Tia Maria or Alba, even abuela. But this felt too big, too scary.

For the last eight years, that apartment had been your home. It’s where Alexia and Jenni bought you home too, it’s where Nala lived, where mama lived and now, now you were moving into a new house that Nala never lived in and Mama wouldn’t be.

The next three days flew by, you do more skiing, ice skating, sledding, all alone. You didn’t know the reason behind your Mami not letting Olga join, you knew your Mami wouldn’t go ice skating but she did join the sledding. If either woman had slowed down they would’ve realised that you were pulling away.

When you arrived back to Barcelona on New Year’s Eve, your Mami told you there would be another present for you to open with your abuela and tia. You were slightly confused, having already gotten everything on your Wishlist. So as you sat there on the couch, your abuela and tia next to you, Olga and your Mami in front with three boxes on your laps, you were still confused as to what it could be.

You opened it when they said you could, inside the box it contained 3 things. A photo of an ultrasound (which you didn’t understand), a baby jersey with ‘Putellas 11’ on the back and a shirt that said ‘world’s best big sister’. But you completely missed the shirt. Your Mami had put the shirt in the box the wrong way around.

It took a moment for everything to understand and then the chaos unfolded. Abuela and tia alba were crying, hugging both Olga and your Mami while you just sat there.

“Mariquita? Do you understand?” Your Mami asked as she sat in front of you.

In your mind, the blob was cancer, the jersey was confusing though. “Olga has cancer? Why are we celebrating that? How will I be a big sister if Olga has-“ it clicked in your brain, the blob wasn’t cancer it was a baby, “oh. Not cancer, a baby.”

“Yes a baby.” Your Mami chuckled, “we are having a baby and you’ll be a big sister.”

“Cool.” You gave a thumbs up towards Olga, unsure of what else to do.

“Cool? That’s it?”

“What else am I meant to say? Good luck?”

“Jeez ale, she really is your daughter.” Alba laughed, ruffling your hair. It was no secret alexia was awkward and it seems you truly inherited that trait.

Both Olga and alexia sat down on the couch next to you, Eli snapping a photo of the three of you. Your mind was full of anxiety. Anxiety about moving house, about the new school and needing to make new friends but mostly about the baby.

As you lay in bed, the clock on your bedside table illuminating 3.13am, you couldn’t stop the tears from falling. The last time a baby was on the way was when you were in your last foster home, they were meant to adopt you, citing that they couldn’t have kids. Then they fell pregnant, cancelling the adoption and sending you back. You were only four then but it filled you with doubt. Would your Mami and Olga send you away too? Would you go to mamas or back into a foster home?

Those thoughts consumed you for months. When you finally moved into the new house, you picked the room the furthest from your Mami and Olga’s room. You turned extra quiet. In your mind, if you were quiet then they would forget you were there. They wouldn’t send you away because they wouldn’t remember you were there.

It back fired though, of course it did. Mama was coming to Madrid for Easter, your Mami agreed that you would go to Madrid and spend a few days with her then come back home and do Easter with the Putellas-Rios family.

For four days you forgot about the impending doom that was waiting for you at home. For four days your mama and her family treated you like a princess, spoiling you and reminding you of how loved you were.

On the flight home you turned quiet again, your mama noticed, pulling you up on it straight away.

“Princess, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing mama.”

“You can tell me. You don’t have to lie bebé.”

“Imscaredillbesentaway.” You said it so fast, your heart beating out of your chest, making you want to throw up.

“Can you say that again for me? More slow this time.”

You took a deep breath, refusing to look at your mama, “I’m scared I’ll be sent away when the baby comes. Mami and Olga won’t want me anymore.”

“It won’t happen. You’re here to stay, forever. Why would you think that?”

“It happened before. Before you and Mami. So it’ll happen again.”

“No! No it won’t. You’re not going anywhere, you’re our daughter. Mine, mamis, and Olga’s. You’re our first baby, no one in this world would be able to take you.” Jenni spoke with so much conviction that apart of you believed her.

“Do you promise?”

“I promise. On everything. On my career, on your mamis. I promise.” Jenni’s heart broke at your lack of believing. She knew you took change hard but had hoped that as you grew up, you were more welcome to it. She guesses you just hide it easier.

When you both arrived at the Barcelona airport and made it through security, Alexia and Olga were both waiting. Big smiles on their faces as their excitement to have you back was evident. You on the other hand, tensed the minute you saw them. Jenni knew she only had a limited amount of time to talk to alexia before her flight back to Madrid.

“Ale, I need to talk to you.” She pulled alexia’s arm, trying to get her away from Olga and you. Olga noticed and nudged you away from them.

“Everything alright?”

“No. I know you’re excited to be having a baby with Olga but I’m worried you’re forgetting about y/n.”

“What are you talking about? How could I forget her?”

“She’s scared you’ll send her away when the baby comes Ale. She said it. Look at her, really look at her.” They both turned to look at you. You were hitting your hand against your leg, something you did when you were anxious. Your eyes stayed trained on the ground, refusing to look at Olga when she spoke. “That’s not the same kid I just spent 4 days with.”

It seemed that both Olga and Alexia realised at the same time. Olga looked up with wide eyes, slightly panicked at the fact you weren’t engaging with her as usual, alexia on the other hand looked at you with her eyes full of tears.

Arriving home didn’t bring you comfort, going to your room at the end of the house didn’t bring the calmness you thought it would. Instead it left you feeling empty and sad.

The next few days were hard. Your Mami and Olga tried to talk to you, even going as far to get Mapi involved with Pina, Patri and Cata but nothing worked. You were stuck in a rut of anxiety and scaredness.

Olga finally got you to crack, your Mami regretfully had to go away again for a game. Meaning she’d leave you while you were clearly going through something and she’d miss an ultrasound with Olga.

The morning of the ultrasound, Olga all but dragged you out of the house. She too was feeling a mix of emotions. Despite both alexia and Jenni saying she was just as much as a parental figure to you as they were, she couldn’t help but feel on the outside. She hoped this baby would form as a bridge to you. Something you had more in common, but instead it was causing a wedge between all of you.

You both cried at the ultrasound, seemingly for different reasons but at the time, Olga was optimistic that it was for the same reason. Seeing the baby.

When you returned home you disappeared to your room very quickly, only to return with a duffle bag and backpack.

“Can you take me to Eli’s please?”

“What?” Olga was confused, Alexia never said anything about you staying there while she was gone.

“You have your kid. You don’t want me here, Mami doesn’t want me here, so can you please take me? If you can’t it’s fine. I know how to get there.”

“Y/n no. I’m not taking you to Eli’s-“ it came out a lot harsher than she anticipated. She realised as soon as the words left her mouth, “I’m sorry. What I meant is, this is your home. Now and forever. It doesn’t matter if I’m having a baby, no one can ever replace you. You’re our mariquita. You belong here, in this family.”

“People have said that before and then they change their minds. This is what’s best. I leave and you and Mami can have the baby in peace. It’s okay Olga. I’ll catch the bus.” You were gone before she could argue.

You heard the apartment door close behind you, Olga’s footsteps approaching as fast as she could, “mariquita please wait!” The fire staircase locked behind you as you ran down the stairs towards the exit. You knew it locked, you knew Olga would be stuck waiting for a lift, so it gave you time to figure how to get the bus.

Olga raced back to the apartment only to realise her keys were inside. The door was locked and she was on the wrong side of the door. As if this whole thing couldn’t get any worse.

In panic she rang alexia, which was the worst idea she could’ve had and as soon as alexia started to panic, she hung up. You said you were going to Eli’s, so she rang Eli who then rang alba who then rang the rest of her family. Soon enough the entire Putellas family was out hunting for you.

You had a phone, she could’ve rang you, but in her panic she forgot about that. Alexia didn’t though, she rang you. Multiple times. Each time you watched it ring out, too afraid of her confirming the fact that she was going to ‘return you’.

After what felt like hours, you finally arrived to Mollet. The sun was setting so you knew you had to go fast. Eli was there when you arrived, running out the front door when she saw you come up the driveway.

“Mariquita! Dios mío you scared me. You scared us all! What were you thinking!”

“Mami and Olga don’t want me anymore. You know how to book flights so I wanted to come here. Olga said she wouldn’t take me so I took the bus.”

“They don’t want to get rid of you! What are you talking about?” Eli was in disbelief. She couldn’t believe that you truly felt that way, or that her daughter would give you that idea.

“It’s happened before! Why aren’t people understanding! Mami and Olga are finally having a baby, making their own family. Their OWN. I’m not apart of that. This family is no longer mine, and that’s okay. If you won’t help me get to mama, I’ll figure it out myself.”

“No. You will come inside and we will wait for your Mami and Olga. You will eat dinner and have a shower but you’re not leaving and I am not booking you a flight.”

You ate in silence, much to Eli’s dismay. She tried and tried to get more answers out of you, giving up when she realised you wouldn’t talk anymore. Seeing you this way, being selectively mute, reminded her of the first time she met you.

You were a tiny four year old. Both alexia and alba were at least double your weight when they were your age. It shocked Eli, alexia had warned her but no amount of warning could stop the feelings that she felt when she saw you.

Both Eli and Alba had been waiting patiently to meet you. They were told from the beginning that you were different, suffered from trauma that neither Alexia nor Jenni fully understood. To Eli, you were perfect.

The social worker warned Alexia and Jenni about the trauma you had endured and that they weren’t sure about how much you remembered or what you saw. When things got overwhelming you went mute. It was a coping mechanism and over the years, with lots of therapy and love, that habit disappeared.

As you stood behind Alexia’s legs, peaking through every so often, you looked tiny. There were healing bruises on your arms. Not in the way kids normally get bruises.

It took a long time for you to say anything more than “hola” to her. She remembers the day like it was yesterday. You had scored a goal against Mapi and you were so excited. Smashing through the front door, without evening taking your shoes off.

Eli cried that night. She cried about how happy you looked, how happy you were and how you actually spoke.

It was now the opposite, you weren’t that shy little four year anymore. But old habits die hard. Sometimes it’s easier to go mute than to focus on what was truly happening.

Olga was waiting in the spare room when you got out of the shower. Or the room that used to be alexia’s room. Littered with photos of her and her friends as they grew up, a few of her and your mama, alba too. It was a time capsule, for you it felt overbearing. You didn’t have friends like she did, you’d have a sibling in four months but it wouldn’t be the same as her and alba.

“Mariquita. We need to have a proper conversation. I want you to tell me everything. If you truly can’t, I will wait for your Mami, but you need to talk. No more pretending everything is fine.”

“Okay.” You say on the floor, your knees pressed against your chest, your back hard against the wall. “What do you want me to say first?”

“How did you feel when we told you we were having a baby?”

“Scared. Excited. Anxious. Jealous.”

“Can you elaborate please?”

“Before Mami and mama, I was with this other couple. They couldn’t have kids for whatever reason and they were going to adopt me. A few weeks before they found out they were having a baby and cancelled the adoption. Literally just palmed me off. Then the kids at the group home would say how no one wanted me and whatever. I didn’t think I believed it but I guess I did.

You and Mami would have this experience, you being pregnant I mean, Mami and mama didn’t have that with me, so I feel like this baby is better than me in that sense. Mama is so far away and I was scared that if you decided to get rid of me that she wouldn’t get here in time and I’d just be on the street.

I picked the room furthest from the others because I thought, I thought if I did that you would forget I was there. It would be sad to be forgotten but I would have somewhere safe to stay.

Then you said you wouldn’t bring me here and I panicked. I thought someone was going to come and take me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Sobs racked your body, and for the first time Olga saw you as the little girl Alexia described. Broken, scared and tiny. Right then in her mind, you weren’t the twelve year old she’d grown to love, you were a tiny four year old. Scared of what was to come.

“No Mariquita. No sorry. You were scared, that’s okay. You’re allowed to be scared, anxious and whatever else you want to feel. You’re allowed to feel it all but you’re safe here, with you Mami, mama and with me. Yes, this will be the first baby I give birth too, but it’s not my first kid.” You looked up at her, not realising she had moved in front of you, “you’re my first kid Mariquita. You’re as much my daughter as you are to your Mami and mama. I know it is a big change, you’re scared and truthfully I am scared. Terrified actually. But I know you’re going to be the best big sister ever and this baby is lucky to have you. I’m lucky to have you.”

You let yourself fall into Olga’s arms. You were both crying, hanging onto each other for dear life. When alexia arrived to her mamis house, all guns blazing, she was met with a stern Eli. Giving her daughter an ear full about the way she spoke to Olga. Olga however didn’t hold a grudge. She knew Alexia was panicking, she was also panicking.

“Ale, she needs therapy, she needs help. Don’t be mad at her, you can be mad at me but not her.”

“I’m not mad. I’m sorry, I was just so scared. I didn’t want to leave as it was and then I did and this happens? What do we do olgi?”

“We start by moving her room, closer to ours.” Alexia gave her girlfriend a confused look, “she took that room in case we didn’t want her anymore. She’d be far away so she’d stay out of the way and have somewhere to stay.”

Alexia let the tears fall, wrapping an arm around Olga as they wanted you sleep. “How did things get so fucked up?”

“We will fix it. All of it.” Instead of waking you and leaving for their own house, both alexia and Olga climbed into bed with you. The game was the last thing on Alexia’s mind. All she wanted was for her family to be happy, for you to be happy.

Fix it they did. It started with moving your room, something you were still on edge about, even with all the reassurance. Then it was the therapy, twice a week. Once with the school counsellor and once with the clubs psychologist.

Neither Alexia nor Olga spoke about the baby around you, both families were also on strict instructions not too. Both therapists agreed that it would be better for now, if you wanted to know, you would ask. It wasn’t that you hated this unborn baby, it was that you were still scared about being ‘returned’.

Olga had an ultrasound coming up, it was to find out the gender and your Mami wanted you there. They had put off finding out the gender for the last two months because they wanted you there to enjoy it. She wanted this to be a family event, something that would bring you all join but she also knew not to push you.

“Mari, bebé, can you come here for a sec?”

“Mami I promise I’ll clean my room!”

“It’s not about that.” Your Mami laughed. “I want to ask you a question. If you don’t feel comfortable and want to stay here or with Alba that’s fine. There’s no pressure at all. Okay?”

“Okay?”

“Today Olga has an ultrasound to find out the gender. I want to invite you, again there’s no pre-“

“Yeah I’ll come.” To you, it was no longer a big deal. You were mostly excited for the baby, still a little nervous about the change. Your Mami was sat gobsmacked on the couch as you walked away, finally going to clean your room.

Olga got in the car, completely unaware of your presence until you asked a simple question, to which she let out a bloody curling scream, clutching her chest. All you and your Mami could do was laugh. She didn’t ask any questions about what you were doing, only giving Alexia a look that said ‘we will talk later.’

‘A boy.’ The technician announced.

A flurry of movement happened in that moment. Your Mami had pulled you towards her and Olga, a group hug forming. There were tears, happy tears. And when your Mami looked at you sadly you made sure to emphasise that were happy.

There was a question bobbing around in your head though. How did Olga get pregnant. Obviously you were given a simple sex talk in school and by both your mothers, but it never occurred to you that two women would have sex differently. That was something you would need to google when you got home, not wanting to deal with the awkwardness of asking your Mami or Olga.

“Ice cream time?” Your Mami smiled as she pulled you into her side.

“I definitely want ice cream.” Olga piped up.

You interlinked your hands with Olga’s, swinging them, laughing and smiling as you went along for the journey to the ice cream parlour.

As all three of you sat there laughing and eating your ice cream, all alexia could think about is how lucky she was. There would be more bumps in the road, but right now everyone was happy. You were laughing and smiling with Olga, it was definitely a sight for sore eyes.

The following two months were basically spent fussing over Olga and her ever growing baby bump. She referred to you and your Mami as ‘the twins’. Forever asking if she needed something or offered to get it for her, even going so far as to guide her to the bathroom when Alexia was away for a game.

You were certainly the mediator between them somedays. Alexia going on about how the baby doesn’t need more clothes, or shoes, or toys but you would side with Olga. Or when Alexia wanted Olga to stay in bed to relax, you were at her side encouraging her to do so.

The biggest surprise came when you asked what the birth plan was.

“I don’t know. Push it out and hope I don’t poop?”

Alexia was bewildered, “why do you ask? How do you know what a birth plan is?”

“I googled it.” You shrugged, “I’ve also watched birthing videos on YouTube. You’ll probably shit yourself.”

“Not helpful!”

“Is that something you want to be involved in?” Your Mami asked as she rang her fingers through your hair, making a mental note to book you in for a haircut soon.

“If that’s what Olga wants.”

“I do. But you don’t have to. It’ll probably be gross.”

“Oh it’ll definitely be gross.” Both adults laughed as you scrunched your nose.

“Can I leave if it gets too much?”

“Of course Mari! Eli and my mami will be in the waiting room.”

“Along with half the team no doubt.”

It was settled, you would be there to watch your little brother come into this world. The option to leave was there if you wanted to take it. There was truly only one question still in your mind: how did Olga get pregnant?

As the final month began, everyone around was on edge, expect for you. You have read everything, watch hours and hours of YouTube videos. You were ready. Emotionally, you were better. Talking candidly with your mami and mama whenever they asked, Olga too.

If you needed to deliver the baby in the lounge room, you could do that. If you needed to drive her to the hospital, illegally, you could do that. Thanks to bullying Mapi into teaching you how to drive when she was supposed to be watching you for a date night.

You and Olga had secretly bought and packed a second hospital bag, knowing the minute Olga’s water broke, your mami would be insane. And she was.

A week after the baby’s due date, Olga’s water broke. She was sitting outside on the chairs enjoying the sun when it happened. Her contractions weren’t as frequent as the hospital required, once every 15 or so minutes. But as soon as she told Alexia, she went crazy.

Both of you found it amusing, watching her run around the house trying to find things she would need, offering Olga the hair straightener, hair drier, a scrubbing brush? She wouldn’t relax until you called your abuela. When Eli arrived, Olga’s contractions were 12 minutes apart, Alexia looked like she was going to throw up, pass out and cry all at once.

Even though she was running around like a headless chook, every time a contraction hit she was right there by Olga’s side. Helping her breathe through it. For someone so calm and collected when it came to football, she was truly the opposite right now. Your abuela couldn’t help but laugh when she saw what her daughter was doing.

Between every contraction Alexia was off cleaning something, as if they had not organised for the cleaner to come while Olga was in labour.

“Mami? What are you doing?” Curiosity got the best of you, finding your mami in the wardrobe going through her sock drawer.

“Mari! Good you’re here, help me go through these please. I think some of these socks are yours.”

“No mami.” You laughed at her truly panicked state, you couldn’t wait to tell Mapi about it, “Olga’s in labour and you’re in here organising your socks? Do you think that’s a good use of your time?”

“¡Dios mío! You’re right! I need to clean your bathroom!”

“Mami no! You need to be with Olga. You’re being slightly insane right now.”

“I’m panicking okay? I don’t know what to do!”

“You should probably breathe and put the hospital bag in the car. It’s in the hallway closet.”

“No, it’s next to my side of the bed. I made sure it was close.”

“Oh nah we aren’t taking that one. Olga bought another because she knew you would panic. Vamos! We are having a baby.” You smiled and skipped out of the room.

After a very long 16 hours, it was finally time for Olga to push. Everyone was exhausted. Labour looked rough, the videos you had watched didn’t make it same as bad but it was bad.

As Olga’s legs opened and while she was mid push, you decided to look. Why? You had no idea.

“I’ve never seen a vagina before and that’s disgusting.” You looked like you were going to pass out. A clip to the back of your head and a stern look from your mami had you mumbling a sorry to a laughing Olga.

It didn’t take much longer for your baby brother to be born. You were crying, Olga was crying your mami too but most importantly, your baby brother was crying.

Truthfully, a few hours ago you were getting anxious about how the aftermath would be, but when Olga reached out for your hand, pulling you closer and kissing your forehead, you knew everything would be okay.

Your mami sent you home with Eli to shower and get some sleep. There were so many questions in your head, ones you wanted to google and ones you just wanted to ask. After a good feed and sleep, you were back to the hospital the next morning.

Your mami was pacing the room when you got there, looking anxious and sweaty.

“Hi? Can I come in?” You asked shyly.

“Mari! Oh bebé, of course you can. Come here, hug me.” She squeezed you so tight and you were hitting her back to get her to stop.

“Mami. Mami! Can’t breathe!” You spattered out.

“Oops sorry!” She slightly pushed you away. Olga was nursing your baby brother. He looked so small, smaller than you imagine.

“Do you want to hold him?” Olga asked, noticing you were staring.

“Can I?”

Your mami walked you through it, one hand supporting his head, the other his body.

“What’s his name?”

“Rio Jaume Putellas.” She fiddled with the beanie on his head, “rio for Olga’s last name, Jaume for my papi, Putellas for you.” Alexia wanted to cry, the way you looked at the baby was the same way she looked at Alba. Sure, there was a twelve year age gap between you and baby Rio, but that look told her everything she needed to know. You would protect him with your life, love him with your entire heart, and annoy him like any big sister would.

Friends and family slowly trickled into the room throughout the day, when Ingrid and Mapi arrived they were so overcome with emotion that Mapi was crying. A big ugly cry. For you, it was funny.

“I have a question.” All four adults turned to you, “I know how babies are made with a man and a woman but with two woman do you use that strap thing that has a button to make the stuff come out? I don’t really understand.”

Everyone’s faces dropped, if baby Rio wasn’t in the bassinet, you were sure he would be on the floor.

“What the fuck.” Mapi was the first person to say anything.

“Y/n how do you know what that is?” Your mami used your first name, something she didn’t do very often.

“I googled it? I wanted to be prepared for all of this.”

“Your iPad is being taken away from you.” Was all Olga said. Poor Ingrid was still in disbelief.

“No ipad, no phone, no tv. Anything that has the internet is gone. Absolutely not.”

When alba walked into the tense room and saw you mami pacing, once again, she was confused. “Ah what happened?”

“I asked if they used the strap thing that has stuff come out of it to make baby rio. Now they are broken.” You shrugged, waving your hand around at them.

“A strap thing with stuff coming out of it?” Alba repeated back, not understanding what you were saying. “Oh. OH!” It clicked. Then she laughed, tears coming out of her eyes, stomach hurting, kind of laugh.

“This isn’t funny Alba!” Alexia gritted.

“Lesbian sex talk time! Are we making a PowerPoint?” A pillow was through at her, this time from Olga.

Thankfully both your abuela and Olga’s mum arrived so the subject was changed very quickly. For you- no answers were supplied and your mami seemingly forgot about the no internet rule very quickly.

Once everyone was home, it was weird. You weren’t 100% sure what to do, every time the baby cried you just stared at him. Unsure if you were allowed to help. One morning when it was just you and Olga in the kitchen you asked.

“I want to help but I don’t know what to do.”

“You’re helping Mari.” You gave her a confused look, “you make coffee for us in the morning, you changed our bed sheets the other night, every morning I come out here it’s clean. Because you do that. You’re helping in ways that are unimaginable but I want you to remember that you’re twelve. You don’t have to do all this. My mami, Eli, your mami, they can all do it.”

She pulled you into her side, kissing your cheek. Olga was grateful for you, your mami was grateful for you, and you were grateful for them. For being patient, not getting rid of you, for loving you.

When you rocked baby Rio to sleep, you reminded him that he was loved, safe and wanted. Something you didn’t want him to forget.

Alexia would often cry when she saw you holding him with a big smile on her face. Or when she saw you doing tummy time with him because he was ‘lonely on the ground by himself’.

Your family was full. Hearts were full. Love was never far away.

#woso fanfics #woso imagine #fcb femení #woso x reader #alexia x reader #woso community #jenni hermoso #alexia putellas x jenni hermoso #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #jenni hermoso x alexia putellas #alexia putellas #jenni hermoso x reader #alexia putellas x y/n #alexia putellas fanfic

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peachhcs · 2 days ago

Note

I feel like Will could be a little shit sometimes, like we know he’s down badddd for Samy but I feel like sometimes when they haven’t seen each other for a while he’s determined to keep her close.

She’s trying to get up for the day? Lays his entire body on top of her, she’s trying to get dressed? Her clothes keep going missing, like he’s taking a sock and making her feel crazy because she knows she JUST sat them down.

He’s doing Anything he can to keep her at his side.

will is definitely doing everything he can to keep samy from leaving his side. he follows her around like a puppy honestly. samy likes to say he has separation anxiety sometimes

au masterlist

it was already 11 when samy finally woke up. she hadn't slept in that much in forever. she stretched out, but she didn't move that far because a strong pair of arm were wrapped securely around her torso. beside her was will still fast asleep, his face basically hidden in the crook of her neck. the girl smiled, reaching her hand up to tease some of his curls in her fingers.

she loved when he was always so close after not seeing one another in awhile. if he could, will would spend every second of the day by her side.

samy laid there for a few minutes just admiring her boyfriend's soft, sleepy features and playing with his hair. he didn't sleep with a shirt on last night, so she also got to admire his muscles peaking out of the covers. he was always fit, but his time with the sharks the last few months really worked in his favor. samy loved it.

she loved how he looked no matter what, but she really loved seeing his muscular arms in his t-shirts and built quads through his pants. it was literally every girl's dream.

after another few minutes, samy really needed to pee. she always had to when she woke up, but will's hold on her was pretty strong. she tried detaching his arms from her without waking him up. the blonde stirred and only pulled her closer to his body despite not waking up.

samy huffed. she poked will's cheek, "will, i really gotta pee."

he mumbled something incoherent.

"please, i have to pee so badly," the girl tried again and finally, will loosened his grip. samy took that as her chance and literally jumped out of bed to run to the bathroom.

when she came out will was still sprawled across the bed. the girl grinned and crawled back over to him where he finally poked his eye open.

"you left me," he grumbled.

"i had to pee. i'm sorry," samy laughed at his pout. he reached his arms out and made grabby hands as an indication that he wanted samy back in the bed. she got herself back in and will was quick to wrap his arms around her like before.

"did you sleep well?" the blonde wondered.

"i did. did you?" samy played with his curls again.

"i always sleep well with you," he hummed making her blush.

"what do you wanna do today?" the soccer player wondered and laughed when all will did was snuggle in closer.

"lay here with you all day."

"i wouldn't complain, but i feel like we should do something. it is like 11:15," samy said.

"so?" will didn't see what the problem was. he didn't have hockey for two days, so that meant he could use one of the days to do absolutely nothing. it was even better because samy was in town.

"we should at least eat something. i'm kind of hungry," just as the youngest hughes said that, her stomach rumbled.

"i know what you can eat," the hockey player earned a smack on the head for that comment.

"will."

"i'm kidding. i'm kidding," he lifted his head back up so samy could see the smirk on his lips.

"you're so immature," she rolled her eyes.

the brunette began pushing herself back up because she seriouly needed to eat something, but when she made a move to get up, will threw his entire body across her leaving her unable to get up or even move.

samy let out an oof, "hey!"

"you can't leave," will determined.

"i'm not leaving you this time. you can come with me to get food," the girl laughed.

“i don’t wanna leave the bed,” the hockey player mumbled. his weight was a bit crushing, but samy was used to it after being crushed and tackled by her older brothers growing up. she curled her arms around his back where she began drawing her fingers up and down his spine.

“you don’t wanna eat something?” the girl wondered and she was surprised to hear that will wasn’t already up looking for food.

“i’d rather lay in bed with you all day then go downstairs,” will said and samy couldn’t help but laugh. he was so adorable.

“okay, five more minutes but after that we need to eat something because i’m starving,” she compromised.

they laid there together with will’s crushing weight and he marveled in being so close to her. his favorite part of spending time with his girlfriend was being able to be so close to her and wake up to her at his side.

the five minutes passed way too quickly. the blonde reluctantly rolled off of samy so she could finally get up. he huffed and pushed himself off the bed as the girl found an actual shirt and pajama pants to put on. will threw on a random shirt on the floor and then snatched one of samy’s socks on the ground before she could find it. he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pressing little kisses to the side of her head.

“i wonder sometimes how you survive without me,” the brunette mumbled seeing the state of will’s very messy room.

“i don’t,” he said.

“remind me that we’re cleaning your room before i leave again,” the girl giggled and became confused when she couldn’t find her other sock she swore she threw onto the ground by the bed last night.

will watched in amusement knowing he had the sock. “where’s my sock?”

“what do you mean?” he played dumb.

“i swear i had both socks by the bed,” she bent down to check under the bed where she unfortunately found more miscellaneous things underneath.

“maybe they got mixed in with something?” the blonde hummed. samy stood back up and eyed her boyfriend. he had a really bad poker face when it came to her so she always saw right through him.

“will, did you take my other sock?”

“no.”

they stared at each other for a second before the youngest hughes lunged for his pockets. will yelped when she stuffed her hands in both front pockets and successfully found her missing sock. will pouted.

“that wasn’t fair,” he argued.

“you’re so weird. come on,” she tugged his hand and they started down the steps to the kitchen.

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leviathanleva · 3 days ago

Text

Sugar Bomb

Pairing: Findlay 'Hazard' Docherty x Fem!Reader

Description: After months of dancing around each other, you and Hazard come to one last draw before your inevitable departure.

[3.7 k words]

Chapter 7

Early February morning, the snow has partly melted by now. Out on the second-story balcony, the vapor coming from your coffee isn’t the only visible steam. Your breath is as well, it comes out in puffs before rising above your head and dissipating.

The air is crisp and refreshing, the sky is clear and the sun is shining brightly. For a moment, you close your eyes and let the rays warm your frozen, runny nose.

The coffee mug is scalding against your chest, it’s comforting, brings you solace and helps you think clearly about the conversation that is to come. You rest against the railing of the balcony, taking in the city beyond, Maisie is sniffling at your feet, already walked and fed because that’s the first thing you do in the morning, even before showering.

Your feet are cold despite the thick woolen socks and slippers you have on. You think it is what it is and decide to just live with it, your extremities have always been cold during the winter.

The sliding door behind you opens and you look back to see Findlay’s disheveled form standing there, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He yawns and stretches, the thick muscles under his tank top flexing and expanding, it’s a sight to behold for sure, but sadly you won’t be a witness to it for much longer. And he’s never cold, a part of you has always been jealous of that trait of his.

“Hey.” You call softly, voice still heavy with sleep. You keep your eyes on him for a bit longer before turning them back to the city.

“Ey.” He responds in kind and comes to your side, your elbows collide when he leans on the railing next to you, following your gaze towards the cluster of skyscrapers in the distance. There’s a brief moment of silence before he asks. “Is everything a’right? Ah didn’t expect you leavin’ a note f’ me out of all people.”

You take your time sipping coffee before speaking up again.

“Yeah, sorry. Didn’t mean to worry you. Just wanted to talk in private.”

Deep, steady breath and a calm mind were how you were going to get through this encounter. You just had to stay level-headed, that’s all, be friendly but keep him at arm’s length, for both your sakes.

“Was this about?” He doesn’t even seem bothered that stray snowflakes are falling on his bare shoulders, meanwhile, you’re shaking, but whether that’s from the cold or from anxiety is uncertain.

You take a breath, then another, then finally manage to string together the words.

“I found a place.” You begin and glance at him anxiously. “Y’know, to move into and finally stop being a freeloader here.” He doesn’t react and you take it as a bad sign so you continue, trying to lighten the already heavy atmosphere. “It’s already furnished so I won’t be stealing any of your things.”

“You can take wha’ever you wont, you know I don’t care.” He rasps, you hear the strain surging in his voice, the pebble stuck in his throat, the weight suddenly pressing down on his chest, a weight you had just put there. “You can take the whole place wi’cha, if y’ wanted. Still won’t care.”

“Fin…”

“Why?” You stiffen at his question, the rawness of his tone, the betrayal he’s trying to hide but is still so visible in those honeyed eyes you’ve come to love. It’s painful to watch him at a loss, not knowing how to combat your decision and ultimately having to let you go.

He looks like he’s been slapped.

You’d been preparing for this talk for days and it was hard for you, you couldn’t imagine what it was like for him. But you were set on your words, you couldn’t stay any longer, you didn’t want to.

“Because – ”

“ – Is someone botherin’ you?” He finally turns to face you. “Did someone do someth’n t’ you? Y’ can tell me, I always listen.”

“No, it’s not that.” You avert your eyes and stare into the blackness of your coffee instead, trying to find the right words in the murky caffeinated water. “Of course, nobody’s done anything, I love you all like family.”

A breeze blows past and manages to force a shiver up your spine. His first thought was to take you in his arms and bade the cold away, but just as abruptly as his hands lifted to reach for you, they fell back to his sides.

You wanted to cry… protest and have him continue, tell you that everything was going to be okay and that he’d take care of things like he always did. But now wasn’t the time for weakness. Because the hug would end, then he’d ruffle your hair and leave, nothing more. He wouldn’t hold you like a lover but like a sibling, a friend.

And you didn’t want to leave. You had to.

“Wot is it then? Yer room? Too small?” He asks abruptly, wracking his brain and trying to figure out your reasoning while simultaneously coming up with solutions. Anything to keep you from leaving him. He couldn’t bear the thought, not after everything. He’d move with you if it weren’t for his family depending on him, he didn’t care where in the world he was as long as it was with you. “You can have mine, Ah don’t care.”

You shake your head and his world shatters a little bit more.

“No. Fin, please listen to me.”

“Why den? Why leave?” He’s at a loss, completely forgetting that you can speak for yourself and he doesn’t need to play a guessing game. So he goes quiet and stares at you pleadingly, ignoring the ache in his chest and focusing solely on you.

“Please…Please, tell me what’s wrong…”

You take one last stressed sip of your coffee and set it down before turning to him properly, no longer leaning on the railing but instead facing each other in your full stature.

He at least deserved a proper reason and to look him in the eyes when you giving it.

“Because it’s not right to stay.” You say, then motion towards your chest as your brows knit together, an angsty expression bittering your features. “I don’t benefit you guys in any way. The best I can do is make food and clean up, help you with some tasks and run errands. I don’t fit in here. I’m not phreak, I don’t have any skills.”

Even in dire moments like these, you’re still so pretty to him. His little angel…

The way the sunrays cascade over your form, giving you an otherworldly glow, it takes his breath away and balms over his turbulent feelings and racing thoughts.

You always did have a way of soothing him. Soft words and gentle touches, that’s how you were, those are some of the many things that made you perfect in his eyes. Always caring for others, especially him who’s been alone in shouldering the unfairness of the world for so long.

“That never mattered.” He shoots back with confidence this time because it’s true. You’ve been a vital part of their team since you first came to join them. It didn’t matter that you weren’t a skilled hacker or couldn’t shoot a gun. Civilians had their own set of irreplaceable skills. Even if all you wanted to do was be Maisie’s sitter, you’d still be doing more than enough. “We all love you, we do. Couldn’t have made it dis far without ya.”

“Findlay…”

Why did he have to fight back so hard? Why couldn’t he just make things easy on you? You were already suffering with regret and the agony of separation before you’d even left, and seeing him this desperate, this sincere in trying to keep you from slipping away was just adding salt to the wound.

You wanted to hug him close and coo at him until he was calmed, tell him that this wasn’t goodbye forever. You’d come to visit, have dinners as a family again, take walks with Maisie and him, just the three of you. You just wouldn’t be constantly around.

That’s all. It wasn’t that serious, you weren’t moving to another city.

“So is not just tha’ then.” He scoffs to himself, rips his eyes off you to stare into nothingness. “Someone did do somethin’.” There’s a brief pause before his gaze rises again to meet yours, you see the bleak fire within it, still the combative spirit persists, refuses to let you go without a good tussle. “Tell me who, I’ll have a talk with ‘em, can resolve this right now.”

“No…” you rub at your eyes to massage away the tears.

You couldn’t tell him. You couldn’t.

It wasn’t his fault, it was yours. You’d fallen for him, not the other way around.

“What then? Why d’ ya wanna leave so badly?” His anguished, sullen words are like razors to your neck. You can’t breathe properly anymore. The sobs are beating down on your throat and you can’t fight them off for much longer.

“I – ”

“ – Don’ leave.” He says, begs you as much as a man of his character and ssize can. Your knees weaken at his pleads and you bite down viciously on your bottom lip to keep from breaking down completely. “You cannae leave me. Won’t let you.” He takes your hands in his, sucks in a long inhale and pulls you a bit closer, shielding you from the glare of the sun, from the cold, from the world, everything. “Please. Stay.”

You’re crumbling in front of him as he stands there silently and lets you speak. Mentally drained and emotionally at the brink, yet you refuse to let go of his hands and that’s enough to tell him that you don’t want to leave, but something is making you. And the worst part is that you refuse to tell him to keep him unburdened while you take on all of the weight and try to carry it away with you silently.

A part of him is enraged by this. How dare you try to take all the blame and let him demonize you for simply wanting to abandon him? How dare you take his job of carrying the hefty loads? He was the strong one, he was the tank, he was the shield that was supposed to separate you from all danger and problems.

He’d failed you…

He couldn’t stand it…

“I just…I can’t do this anymore, Fin.”

His thoughts come to a screeching halt.

“Do wha’?”

“This!” You let go of one of him long enough to motion between the two of you. “Whatever this is, whatever we are. I just… I can’t…”

He’s almost relieved to hear you confess your woes finally.

“Tha’s it?” He quirks a brow and you see the strain in his shoulders vanish. “Okey, aye I get it.” He rubs at the stubble on his chin, presumably in thought, but not really. The answer to your problem was right there. “I’s no problem. I’ll leave ya alone. Won’t hear a peep from me.” Despite the rejection that had been thrown in his face, he smiles wide. If this meant keeping you, he was willing to sacrifice. “Should’a said something earlier, lass. I just thought you – ”

“ – No!” You protest, yell nearly loud enough to wake up everyone still asleep. You want to rip your hair out with how exasperatingly daft he is. “You don’t get it!” You grip the straps of his tanktop, then tear your hands away from him only to hug yourself out of frustration. “I want – I – ”

This is the perfect moment, but again you’re left with a lump at the base of your mouth, a lock on your tongue, unable to speak the words. Beyond desperate to explain, you do the only other thing you can think of, you act before your self-sabotaging mind has a chance to talk you out of it.

You kiss him.

Stand high on your toes, pull him down by the neck, and link your lips to his. It’s a brief kiss, a sloppy and uncoordinated one, your mouths don’t even fit together properly.

Gasping for air, you pull away as abruptly as you’d leaned in and search his eyes for anything to hint at rejection.

He’d not done anything when you’d locked lips, hadn’t reeled back, but hadn’t reciprocated either so you were left in a standstill until he made up his mind.

He stares at you dumbly with his mouth agape and eyes wide and unblinking.

A minute passes and the doubt is already munching at your sanity. However, then you’re unceremoniously picked up and hoisted against his broad chest. He guides your legs to wrap around his toned torso, has your arms locked around his neck and mapping out what skin you can reach as he molds his lips back to yours. You feel your back being gently pressed into a wall to make sure you had support on both ends.

A meek mewl slips past you and his reply is a pleased grunt as he rubs needy patterns into your thighs.

He pushes his tongue past your teeth and twirls it around yours, beckoning you to play. The muffled moan that erupts from you is music to his ears, a noise unparalleled by anything he’s ever heard in his life. He presses harder against you, squishing you between his warm chest and the cold wall behind so there’s nowhere for you to run anymore. This was it, you were stuck with him now.

No more running, no more denying, no more beating around the bush.

He was certain now that you wanted him as much as he’d wanted you and he’d not let anything stand between you anymore.

And to think this was why you’d wanted to leave…

His baby stubble grazes your skin deliciously, a single compliment from you months ago and he’d started keeping it instead of shaving it off every morning.

He kisses you with suffocating need, bruising your lips and making them swell as he nips and licks and tastes, and explores every inch of your mouth. He indulges himself, gives into you like you’re a peace of Heaven on Earth, a sinful delight that’s been dangling before him for months, just out of reach.

The skin on his back ripples to life under your touch, awakens into eager goosebumps that you ghost over with flattened palms. You cross your ankles over his waist, your toes curling in delight the longer he smothers your mouth with his own.

A thin trail of saliva still connects you when Hazard pulls away long enough to take a breath before diving for your neck. You lean your head back willingly, rest your crown against the cement wall and crane your neck to the side to give him more room to explore. Your thighs begin to quiver when you feel his sharp canines grazing over your sensitive skin. His tongue works wonders into your flesh, makes you both giggle and choke on moans, completely forgetting about the cold or the exposure.

“Findlay…” You wail weakly, then gasp when he automatically bucks into you, spurred on by the call of his name. Sparks fly behind your lids and you rake your nails over his shoulders, riling him up even more.

“Shite…” He groans and struggles for air as his grip on your legs tightens. “Don’t do tha’, luv.”

“Why?” You question dumbly, too drunk on him to truly care for the answer. All you want is to keep feeling him, keep hearing his voice, and smelling his scent.

“Makes me go wild.”

You laugh out an apology, note the grin, the widest one you’ve ever seen, listen to him pant heavily through his nose and rest his forehead against your collarbones as he comes down from his high.

“I love you…” You blurt out and thump a fist weakly against his back. Your legs untangle from his waist without your consent, but every muscle in your body has turned to jello and you’re given no choice. You’ve turned to mush in his brutish embrace and you’d have it no other way. “You moron…I love you so much…”

It comes out so easily now like you’ve been saying it forever. It’s smooth on your tongue, feels right, deserved.

“I thought..” He chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief and the tips of his hair tickle your nose.

“You thought wrong.” You’re all too eager to interject, cutting off whatever idiotic, self-detrimental bullshit he was about to spit out.

Hazard brings his gaze away from the soft comfort of your sweater, and watches you from beneath his brows as the passion darkening his features morphs into the gentlest love. He readjusts, gives you a bit more movement space, but has no intention of letting you go. His hands are still palming at your legs, you can feel the heat coming off them and seeping over your skin even through the thick leggings hugging your thighs.

“Cannae blame me.” He says softly, words only meant for your ears. And despite the twinge of a joking tone, you know he’s serious, that he doesn’t think very highly of himself in terms of appearance. “Who’d wanna wake up t’ this ugly mug every mornin’.?”

It’s sad to think he’s been denying you and himself for so long because of self-doubt, thinking that you deserve better, that you should find better. Someone who has a stable life, can provide you with comfort instead of dragging you into a war and offer you a safe and calm life. Someone who didn’t have half his body replaced by cybernetics, a man fully human who wasn’t littered with battle scars.

“I would.” You combat tenderly and glide your hands down until they’re resting over the steady beat of his heart. “I want this.” You tap his forehead next. “And this. Everything that’s you, I want, Fin.”

“Don’t deserve a pre’y bird like you.”

It’s a compliment for you and an insult towards him, it’s unbearable to hear such bitter-sweetness. You press the cushions of your thumbs against his lips to shush him.

“None of that, please.”

He kisses you then, having forgotten for a moment that now he was free to do that whenever he wanted. The puppy love flares, lashes out, needing more of your essence on him. He wanted to have a piece of you always with him, hell, he’d carry you around in his pocket if that was an option, show you off to anyone who crossed his path.

You smile in contentment against him, cling to him with one arm as your free hand travels up to comb through the soft tuft of hair you’d helped him bleach not too long ago.

Serenity isn’t something you take lightly, you know it’s a gift to feel at peace, and he’s brought you so much of that this morning. You caress his cheek, both look over and trace his features with the tips of your fingers, committing every dip and line to memory.

He stands still for you, closes his eyes, and leans into your touch like a man who’s never been touched with tenderness before, never been handled with care.

Your very own hazardous beast turned pet by a drop of affection. It was as cute as it was tragic.

He deserved so much more. He deserved the world.

“Whenever we were together.” You begin, drawing his attention from studying your kiss-bruised lips to your eyes where he lets himself get lost. You shake your head at the confession, nearly cringing, but it was only natural, for which couple didn’t have their cringe-worthy moments? “Outside that is, running errands. I’d always watch you closely to see which women you’d look at. Wanted to know what you fancied.” It’s a silly little confession, but you want him to know, you want him to know everything about you, be your lager of sorts and from the way he’s focused all his concentration on you, you can tell he’s more than willing to be put to the task. So a smile etches itself onto your winter-chilled features and you continue. “But you never looked at anyone…I had to guess what you liked.”

The answer is simple in his mind, he spits it out without even having to think it through.

“Da’s cuz I only got eyes fer you, daftie.” He shrugs as if his words didn’t melt your core and nearly give you baby fever. “Don’t need ta be lookin’ at other birds.”

It’s been such a long game of denial and restraint and now that all cards have been laid face up on the table, you’re not sure what follows. You didn’t expect things to turn out as they did, the bags in your room were ready for departure, you’d thought this morning would be goodbye.

You kick your feet nonchalantly, still propped up several feet above the floor. He holds you as if you weigh nothing and compared to his usual load, you probably don’t.

“What do we do now?” Is the only thing you can muster to ask next, looking to Hazard for guidance as if he wasn’t just as lost as you were.

Mischief twinkles in his honeyed orbs, a certain thought pulls a smirk onto his lips before he answers:

“Shag.”

“Findlay!” You exclaim. You’re mortified while he just laughs. Anticipation makes your skin tingle. The image of peeling off his clothes and witnessing everything you’ve only dreamed of is both nerve-wracking and enticing. But his choice of words couldn’t have been more unattractive, he went straight to the point though.

“I don’t shag.” You say and cup his face gently, rub your thumbs over his cheeks and smooth down his cocky smirk. You make sure to catch his eyes and draw his attention out of its bubble of lewd images. “I make love.”

He blinks blankly at that, processing your statement, before showering you with suffocating pecks. He leaves no surface untended in his kiss crusade. You fight him off weakly, turning your head this way and that, eyes squinted shut at his loving assault.

His excitement is unmatched, he’s like a pup at a pet store.

When he’s satisfied with his work and you’re left visibly breathless, he pulls back.

“Le’s get some breakfast first doe, ‘m starvin’.”

<<< Chapter 6

Masterlist

#x reader #hazard x you #hazard x reader #overwatch hazard #findlay docherty #overwatch x you #overwatch fanfiction #overwatch x reader #overwatch 2

33 notes · View notes

thewintersoldierdisaster · 2 days ago

Note

Reader has a really bad mental health day. Barzy comes home from practice and takes care of the reader. Draws her a bath, washes her body and hair for her. After he orders her favorite dish and the cuddle on the couch. He reassures her and validates her.

oh again, this is something that i really really need right now 😭

it’s the first day back at work after the long holiday break and you’re overwhelmed by your to do list, already somehow behind on work and feeling completely in over your head

the second you get home, you burst into tears and bury yourself in the sheets to hibernate, your mood made even worse by the fact that mat isn’t home to give you a a hug. you’re left to cry yourself to sleep and you decide to work remotely the next day, just to give yourself a chance to ease in

mat comes home from his away game and finds you on the couch, laptop next to you, with a giant blanket wrapped over your head and shoulders. “hey, baby,” he kisses the top of your blanket covered head, “missed you.”

he’s shocked when you immediately burst into tears, huge hiccuping sobs that scare the shit out of him.

“i’m going to get fired, i don’t know what i’m doing, i’m so stupid,” you wail when mat asks what’s the matter. he hops over the couch and gathers you up in a tight hug, stroking your hair and making sure he’s acting like a human weighted blanket to ease your anxiety.

“you’re not getting fired, you’re the smartest woman i know,” mat assures you, kissing your forehead. “you just had a hard transition back to work after the break, like when i came back from my injury. it takes a minute”

you keep crying into his chest, curled up on his lap and mat decides to carry you into the bedroom and set you on the bed while he runs you a steaming hot bath. he helps you undress, kissing your shoulder, and settles you into the bath, even though it’s the middle of the day. your muscles ease with the hot water and steam and mat tells you all about the road trip and game, taking you through the last few days almost minute by minute to distract you, while he washes your hair and soaps up your body

normally his touch has you wet and ready, but this is all for comfort and nothing else. your tense muscles release under his touch, a shaky sigh escaping your lips

“feel better?” he asks, after the bath, after he’s bundled you up in a towel and dried you off, after he’s gotten you dressed in his sweats so you can be comfy and reassured by his scent on the clothes

you nod, still feeling shaky, but better. “i don’t know what happened,” you murmur, tucked up next to him on the couch, your feet under his thighs and head resting on his chest. “it just all felt super overwhelming and like it was spiraling out of control”

“you put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect, baby,” he replies, kissing your head. “can i help you?”

“no, i don’t think so, but maybe you could just sit with me while i do work?”

“whatever you need from me,” he promises. “i’ll order some sushi and sit right next to you while you work on your to do list”

true to his word, mat doesn’t leave your side, feeding you pieces of sushi and rubbing your shoulders while you work through the hardest things on your list. and by the time you log out at the end of the day, mat drags you onto his lap and holds you close for as long as you let him

eventually, you fall asleep on his lap and he carries you off to bed, tucking you in and curling around you with an arm draped over your waist, leaving you so secured that you sleep straight through the night and wake up feeling better than ever 🤍

#asked and answered #anon #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal headcanon

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sequinsmile-x · 17 hours ago

Text

Confetti

She didn’t think it would be this difficult.

AKA - the one where Emily takes a pregnancy test.

-x-

Hi besties,

Today was my first day back at work since 20th December and my brain is a pile of mush, so here's a fic I prepared earlier.

This is for the wonderful and very talented @eyesontheskyline who did a lot of research for her incredible fic 'reckless (just enough)' - which you should read if you haven't for some reason yet. I borrowed said research for part of this, so it only felt right to dedicate it to her <3

As always, let me know what you think <3

-x-

Warnings: pregnancy, trying to conceive, references to infertility, mentions of blood, very minor Aaron whump I guess

Words: 2.5k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

She wakes up first, although she isn’t sure she ever really fell asleep. She’d spent the night struggling to drift off, her chest tight with anxiety she couldn’t shift despite her best efforts.

Normally, she’s the last to wake up. Aaron’s love of early mornings was apparently genetic so he and Jack were always awake before her. She’d wake to Aaron waking her up with a kiss against her cheek or his hand on her back, or she’d hear Jack in his room either getting ready for school or playing with his toys on a weekend.

The silence of the house unsettles her, makes her skin itch, and she blows out a breath as she rolls onto her back. She turns and smiles at her husband as his arm stays in place, warm and heavy across her hips, his face slack and his mouth slightly open. She takes the opportunity to look at him, to run her fingers through his hair and smile as it flops back onto his forehead. He looked younger like this, carefree as if nothing bad had ever happened to him, and it makes her ache, makes love fill her chest as she swears to herself she’ll do her best to make sure nothing bad ever happens to him again. She leans in to kiss his cheek, and it wakes him up. He presses his hand against her lower back and tugs her closer, his head turning so he can capture her lips with his.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, scrunching her nose up at his morning breath but kissing him again anyway, “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Don’t apologise,” he replies, kissing her forehead as he pulls away, his voice rough from sleep and misuse, “I like being woken up by you.”

She hums and tucks herself up against him, rests her head against his chest so she can hear his heartbeat and anchors herself to him with her hand on his shoulder and her leg over his hip, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He wraps his arms around her and holds her closer, and the sound of his heartbeat drowning out the overwhelming silence of the house. He reaches for her hand and links his fingers through hers as he drops a kiss on the top of her head.

“It’s not like you to be up first,” he says carefully, running his hand up and down her back, his fingers sneaking under a t-shirt that used to be his. He feels how she tenses in his arms, her stuttered breath passing from her chest to his, and he rubs a circle on her back, desperate to ease the anxiety he knew only one thing could.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she replies, and it feels like an understatement. She’d laid next to him most of the night, tried to let the press of him against her and the feeling of his breath skipping across her skin lull her to sleep but it hadn’t worked. She’d drifted in and out of bouts of restless sleep as she thought of the pregnancy tests lined up in their bathroom cabinet, now familiar anxiety bubbling low in her gut as she spent the entire night trying to tell herself not to get her hopes up again.

It had been a year since they’d started trying. They’d been engaged and married since she threw away her birth control and they said that they’d try, both of them hopeful in a way that now felt nothing short of naive. Her doctors in Paris had assured her that the damage Ian had done to her hadn’t affected her uterus, that there was no reason they could see why she couldn’t have a baby if she chose to in the future, but she couldn’t help but wonder if they were wrong.

She didn’t think it would be this difficult. She’d fallen pregnant the first time she’d ever had sex. A few moments with a boy who was supposed to be her friend that changed her life and made her militant about birth control ever since, the harsh words of a doctor questioning her age but not her fake ID who hadn’t realised she spoke Italian still ringing around her head even now. She thought it would be easy this time too. She’d allowed herself fantasies of Aaron standing on the other side of the bathroom door as she peed on a stick and her running out with a positive test in her hands and happy tears on her cheeks. She’d imagined it all being easy because this time this was something she could want and that she could have.

They’d had agreed that after a year they’d go to her doctor, because she knew she’d be told to try for that long anyway, and now it was here the thought made her feel sick. Nausea rolling in her belly when she thinks of taking a pregnancy test and looking at a negative result again, something that was apparently no less painful when she did it for the 11th time last month than it had been the 1st. It felt definitive, like the test she’d take today would draw a line in the sand and bring this part of their lives to a close so the next stage could take over. And she’d have to come to terms with either never having a baby, or the fact it certainly wasn’t going to be simple to have one.

“Em-”

“I should get it over with,” she says, swallowing thickly as she sits up, a chill left in his wake as she separates herself from him and gets out of bed, not sure she could take kind platitudes from him again, “I’ll start getting ready for the day.”

He sighs and sits up, “Em-”

“Aaron,” she says, turning to look at him, stopping him in place with tears shining in her eyes, “Please just…” she drifts off and clears her throat, smiling tightly at him as she flicks the switch for the ensuite’s light, “I’ll let you know when it’s done.”

He nods and stays put, sitting on the edge of the bed to wait her out. It’s where he sat as she did this every month, the amount of time it would take her to come out to see him getting longer each time, the look on her face somehow breaking his heart even more than it had the time before. He wanted this as much as she did, and it hurt to see how much pressure she was putting on herself as time went on. As if somehow she’d convinced herself that his love for her was conditional, that it was dependent on this one thing. He told her time and time again that she was what was important to him, that everything else would be wonderful and a bonus, but that her and her love were the things that had helped bring him back to life, that had helped him feel worthy of love again.

Everything else was confetti - beautiful and bright with her by his side, but just strips of paper fated to dissolve in the rain without her.

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll be right here.”

She smiles sadly and walks over, stamping her lips against his before she walks away again, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She closes the door behind her and blows out a slow breath, giving herself a moment to try to centre herself before she carries on. She pulls a test out of the cabinet and wraps her hand around it tightly, screwing her eyes shut before she shakes her head at herself and heads to the toilet. Once she’s done she clips the lid on and puts it on the counter, sighing as she flushes the toilet because she knows Aaron will hear and know that the countdown is on. She actively ignores the test as she washes her hands and starts her skincare routine.

It isn’t lost on her that close to 30 years ago she was staring at a pregnancy test and hoping for an entirely different result to what she wanted now. The process was harder then, more complicated and drawn than simply peeing on a stick, something that only added to her panic as she read the instructions again and again to make sure she did it correctly. The thirty minutes she’d had to wait for the result had been tortuous in a different way to the three she had to wait now, the time drawn out into what felt like hours as her fate felt like it had already been decided for her

She pats her face dry after washing it and reaches for her serum, and she looks down at the test despite her intentions to ignore it as long as possible, the result both what she wants and what she fears until she sees it. She gasps as she reads one single word on the digital screen, her hand coming up to her mouth to try and capture it as she drops the serum she’d been holding, the glass bottle smashing into countless pieces as it hits the tiled floor.

Pregnant.

She was pregnant.

“Oh my god,” she says, picking up the test with shaky hands, holding it closer as if the result would change or she’d read it wrong, and she chokes on a sound between a laugh and a sob, relief and love and half a dozen things she can’t name rushing through her all at once. “Holy shit.”

There’s a knock on the door just before it opens and Aaron’s already talking as he walks in.

“Sweetheart, is everything okay? I heard something break,” he says, drifting off when he sees the tears shining in her eyes and the test in her hands. He sighs sadly, opening his arms out to comfort her, “Oh, Em I’m sorry-”

Her eyes go wide as he steps forward, “Aaron, no wait there’s glass-”

“Ow, Goddamn it,” he exclaims, hissing as he lifts his foot, blood already visible from where he’d cut himself.

“Sorry, honey,” she says, placing the test on the counter as she steps over the glass between them. She wraps her arm around his shoulder to guide him over to the toilet and helps him sit on the closed lid, “I dropped my serum,” she says, wiping her cheeks, only aware she was still crying when she kneels in front of him, “That’s expensive stuff too.”

He chuckles and cups her cheek, wiping away a fresh tear, “It’s okay, I think we can afford it.”

She smiles and then winces when she looks at the sole of his foot, “It’s not deep, but it does look sore,” she says, reaching for the tweezers behind her on the counter. She raises her eyebrow and brandishes the tweezers at him, “You’re lucky I love you, I use this for my eyebrows usually.”

“Well, I appreciate the - ow,” he exclaims, furrowing his brow as she pulls out the small shard of glass. She smiles apologetically and shrugs.

“It hurts less if you don’t know it’s coming,” she says, standing up briefly to get the first aid kit from the medicine cabinet, her eyes drifting to the positive test again for a brief moment before she kneels back in front of him, “I’ll just wrap a bandage around it for you to stop the bleeding.”

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he says, watching as she wraps it around his foot, a tender gentleness to her touch that he knows he couldn’t live without. A soft type of love she gave him and Jack without question or the expectation of getting the same in return. He so desperately wanted to watch her love a baby that was half him and half her in the same way. She smiles up at him when she’s done and he wraps his arms around her as soon as she stands up, encouraging her to sit on his lap. She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses his cheek.

“I know usually we tell Jack you have to kiss an injury to make it better,” she says, kissing his cheek again, “But I’m not kissing your foot, so you’ll have to deal with a kiss on the cheek.”

“I’ll never say no to a kiss on the cheek from you,” he smiles and hooks his finger under her chin to turn her head to face him and he kisses her on the lips, “I’m sorry it was negative.”

She furrows her brow, “What?”

“The test,” he replies, “I’m sorry it was negative, and I’m sorry I stood on glass and took all the focus off of you-”

“Aaron, honey,” she says, chuckling as she cuts off his spiral, shaking her head at him because he’s the only person she knows who would apologise for standing on glass, “It isn’t negative.”

He stops, his brow knitting together in confusion, “It isn’t?”

“It isn’t,” she shakes her head and unwraps one of her arms from around his neck to get the test from the counter, “I’m pregnant.”

He takes the test from her, his view of her and the result immediately blurry with tears, “You’re pregnant?” He says, tears slipping down his cheeks, “We’re having a baby?”

She nods and leans forward, kissing away his tears before she rests her forehead against his, “We’re having a baby.”

He kisses her fiercely, “I love you so much,” he kisses her again, “And I hope you know that would be true no matter what. I love you.”

“I know,” she nods, a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob catching in her chest, “I love you too,” she kisses him again and rests her forehead against his, “We really should do something about the glass before Jack wakes up and comes looking for us.”

He nods, his forehead gently knocking against hers, “In a minute,” he says, kissing her again, entirely unable to stop himself from doing so, “Let’s just sit here for a little bit. We’ve waited a long time for this.”

“Okay,” she says because she doesn’t want to move either, rooted to the spot in his lap, the absurdity of the fact they were having this life-changing, romantic moment whilst sitting on the closed lid of the toilet not lost on her, “Just for a little bit.”

He kisses her temple and slips his hand onto her still flat belly, “You’re never going to let me forget that I stepped on glass and interrupted you telling me that we’re having a baby are you?”

She shakes her head and places his hand over hers, happiness she didn’t think was possible warming her from the inside out, “Not a chance, honey.”

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #hotchniss fanfic #emily prentiss fanfiction #hotchniss fan fic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #emily prentiss #hotchniss #hotchniss fanfiction #aaron x emily

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