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#anthony x oc
sodaabaa · 4 months
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to flee or not to flee?
anthony bridgerton x OC what happens when a charming and determined viscount courts someone whose worst fear is to marry a man like him?
tropes: damsel in distress, innocent and shy mc, slow burn
tw: mentions of domestic abuse, angst, anxiety, slight misogyny/patriarchal concepts
see playlist for the story here!
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part 1: miss carrington finds herself the center of a certain viscount's attentions.
part 2: anthony's courting of annalise poses a challenge the viscount did not expect.
part 3: anthony conjures up a plan to win over annalise.
part 4: annalise spends a week with the bridgerton family at their country estate.
part 5: annalise and anthony adjust to their new lives.
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tulipatheticee · 3 months
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i've been waiting for you
violet bridgerton x youngest! daughter
bridgerton siblings x younger! sibling
synopsis; From the moment Edmund Bridgerton passed, leaving his wife widowed with eight children and one on the way, Violet found herself adrift until the arrival of Isadora, her youngest daughter. Isadora, quiet and calm, becomes Violet's constant companion in bustling Mayfair, offering solace and steadfast support at her mother's side.
word count; 1.3k
master list
a/n; i have arisen yet again, this is my first bridgerton fic so hello to the brigderton tag! i have archived all my old stuff because they are old and tbh the fandoms have died SO LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF
my name is tulippa and im from sicily, im pretty confident in my english now but let me know if you see any errors! i mainly write fluffy family stuff like this, i love it idk. if you like this and want to see more like it let me know and ill provide for you! but its not like i wont write x reader romance cmon of course i will, but im best at parentxchild and siblings (PLATONIC ALWAYS DONT BE WEIRD) anyways i could go on and on but i wont, enjoy!!!
kinda proof read, kinda not, you've been warned
I'll carry you all the way
Violet Bridgerton had weathered many storms in her life, but none so devastating as the loss of her beloved husband, Edmund. His passing left her shattered, a widow with eight children to care for and another on the way. The pregnancy was fraught with complications, exacerbated by Violet's grief and the toll it took on her health.
Days turned into months as Violet withdrew into herself, mourning Edmund's absence even as life continued around her. Her family rallied, but Violet's sorrow was a heavy veil that separated her from them. It was during those long, solitary hours that she felt the weight of loneliness and the fear of losing both husband and child.
And you'll choose the day
The labour came unexpectedly, fierce and unforgiving. Violet's strength waned, her heart weary from loss and longing. The doctors and midwives worked tirelessly, their faces etched with concern. Hours passed like eternity until finally, a cry pierced the air—a fragile, yet determined cry that signalled new life.
Isadora was born amidst tears and relief, a tiny bundle of hope wrapped in Violet's trembling arms. The room, once fraught with fear, now glowed with a soft, golden light as mother and daughter gazed at each other for the first time. In that moment, everything seemed to still, and Violet knew she had been granted a miracle.
When you're prepared to greet me
She named her daughter Isadora, after the delicate Dahlia flower that Edmund had loved tending in their garden—a reminder of the beauty that bloomed even in the darkest of times.
As Isadora grew, she became Violet's constant companion, a beacon of joy and innocence in the Bridgerton household. Her older siblings doted on her, especially Anthony, Benedict, and Colin, who saw in her a reflection of their lost father's spirit. Isadora's laughter filled the halls of Bridgerton House and her curious mind sought solace in the quiet moments spent with her mother.
One afternoon, in the hushed serenity of the drawing room, Isadora sat at the pianoforte while Violet embroidered nearby. The soft melodies Isadora coaxed from the keys wove through the air, a testament to her growing talent and Violet's nurturing guidance.
"Does this sound right, Mama?" Isadora asked, her voice a melody in itself.
Violet looked up from her embroidery, a fond smile gracing her lips. "It sounds perfect, darling. You have a gift."
Isadora beamed with pride, her small hands continuing their dance over the keys. Despite her tender age, she played with a grace that belied her years, a testament to the bond she shared with her mother and the legacy of love that surrounded her.
I'll be a good mum, I swear
Anthony, Benedict, and Colin entered the room together, their voices low with shared memories and unspoken affection for their youngest sister. Anthony, ever the protective eldest brother, approached Isadora and knelt beside her.
"How are you today, Isa?" he asked softly, brushing a strand of hair from her forehead.
"I am well, Anthony," Isadora replied, her gaze never leaving the keys. "Mama teaches me a new piece every day."
"Is that so?" Benedict chimed in, leaning over to peer at the sheet music. "You are quite talented, little one."
"Indeed," Colin added with a smile. "Father would have been proud."
Violet's heart swelled with bittersweet emotion at the mention of Edmund. She had feared she might forget the sound of his voice or the warmth of his touch, but in Isadora, she found echoes of him that kept his memory alive.
You'll see how much I care
"Mama, are you well?" Isadora asked suddenly, sensing the shift in her mother's mood.
Violet blinked back tears, her hand reaching out to clasp Isadora's. "I am well, my love. I am with you, and that is enough."
Isadora nodded solemnly, her understanding far beyond her years. Together, they continued their afternoon ritual, finding solace in music and shared moments that bridged the gap between past sorrows and future joys.
When you meet me
------------
In the sunlit gardens of Bridgerton House, where the scent of roses mingled with the laughter of children, Isadora found herself in the company of her older sister, Hyacinth, and brother, Gregory. Despite their lively spirits, they adapted to Isadora's quieter demeanour, creating a harmony that transcended their differences.
You thrill me, you delight me
"Isa, look what I found!" Hyacinth exclaimed, holding a caterpillar in her small hands with excitement.
Isadora approached cautiously, her eyes widening with curiosity. "Oh, wow! What is it?"
Gregory, always eager to share his knowledge, chimed in, "It's a caterpillar, Isa! Hyacinth and I were just talking about how it turns into a butterfly."
Hyacinth nodded eagerly. "Yes, Isa! It's like magic! One day, it will have beautiful wings and fly everywhere!"
Isadora's face lit up with wonder. "That's amazing! Can I hold it?"
Hyacinth carefully passed the caterpillar to Isadora, who watched it crawl across her palm with fascination. Gregory leaned in, his eyes bright with enthusiasm. "Let's play tag, Isa! You're it!"
You please me, you excite me
Isadora giggled as Gregory darted away, Hyacinth joining in the chase. "Catch us if you can, Isa!"
Isadora laughed, her heart light as she chased after her siblings through the garden paths, their laughter mingling with the rustle of leaves and the gentle hum of bees. Despite their differences in temperament, they found joy in each other's company, weaving memories that would last a lifetime.
You're all that
I've been yearning for
— —- —- —- —-
In the quiet of evening, as the Bridgerton family gathered for supper, Isadora remained close to Violet's side. Gregory and Hyacinth, full of youthful exuberance, regaled their siblings with tales of mischief and adventure, and how Isadora won tag earlier in the afternoon. The three eldest Brigderton men shared the lovely pianoforte they witnessed Isadora performing in the morning and spoke of how she is progressing very, while Eloise, Francesca, and Daphne shared knowing glances over the table.
I love you, I adore you
"Isa, do you have to be better than us at everything?" Eloise teased playfully, nudging Isadora with her elbow.
Isadora looked up, a hint of confusing in her eyes, she went to speak before Violet interjected “ "Eloise is just being foolish, darling, she means well”
Isadora quickly understood and replied "I only wish to be like everyone else Eloise, you are so clever, and Francesca is so graceful, and Daphne—"
"—is the epitome of charm," Francesca finished with a smile, her gaze softening as she looked at her youngest sister.
I lay my life before you
Daphne reached across the table to tousle Isadora's hair gently. "You are quite the storyteller yourself, Isa. Perhaps one day you'll write tales that surpass even Eloise's wild adventures."
Isadora's face lit up with delight at the praise from her sisters. "Do you really think so, Daphne?"
"Absolutely," Daphne assured her. "You have a way with words and a heart as big as all of Mayfair."
I only want you more and more
Violet watched the exchange with a tender smile, her heart swelling with pride at the bond between her daughters. Despite the challenges they had faced as a family, moments like these reminded her of the joy that filled their lives.
And finally it seems
My lonely days are through
Later that night, as Isadora drifted off to sleep, surrounded by the love of her siblings, Violet tucked her in with a sense of peace. The Bridgertons, each unique in their strengths and passions, formed a tapestry of love and support that would guide Isadora through the years ahead.
I've been waiting for you
"You are so loved, Isadora," Violet whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her daughter's forehead. "Never doubt that."
Isadora stirred, a contented smile playing on her lips. 
I've been waiting…
And as Violet watched over her sleeping daughter, she knew that the bonds of siblinghood, and the enduring love of family would carry Isadora through any storm that life might bring.
…For you
pt2
a/n pt2; thats it guys :( i actually had so much fun writing this and if you want anymore of violet and isa or any of the siblings with isa let me know because i'd love for this to become a little oneshot series typa thing! your feedback is greatly appreciated <3
all my love!
~tulippa
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redr0sewrites · 6 months
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Hi! I'd like to make a request if you're still open for then. It's more like two, actually. I got my nails done the other day, and I've been excited to show everyone since it's the first time I've ever done this! I was wondering if I could get one for the hazbin Hotel men and how they would react to them. For the second one I was hoping for the same characters being with a chubby reader?
Specifically, I'm curious about husk, vox and angel dust but I also wouldn't mind the rest like Adam and alastor. Just no Valentino obvi
(Romantic pls! Preferably sfw for both requests)
Thank you so much!!!
YESSSSS OFC OFC!!!! i made the pt2 w chubby!reader hcs in a separate post and linked it ♥️
🥀Cw: none, mostly fluff
🥀Pairing(s): Husk, Vox, Angel Dust, Lucifer
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Husk
husk is 100% a supportive boyfriend and he admires you whenever you get your nails done
while he may not be super up to date on modern technology, he will TOTALLY take super aesthetic nail pics for you and do his best to make sure you and your nails look fabulous
if its your first time getting your nails done and your a bit nervous, husk has no qualms about accompanying you. toxic masculinity be damned, he'll sit beside you the whole time and chat with you and your nail technician about whatever
he gives great advice when it comes to colors and styles, and if you ever came to him for advice on what nails you should wear, be prepared for an entire formal slideshow on what colors he thinks would look best on you
husk loves when your nails tap against hard surfaces, the soft clicking is very soothing to him. his ears always twitch towards the sound of your fingers drumming against the bartop counter when your sitting with him while he works
he loves how your nails feel combing through his fur, and will absolutely PURR when you scratch his ears with them but will deny it to no end if you tease him about it
Vox
vox is pretty perceptive, and notices almost immediately that you changed your nails. he'll ask to see them, and will definitely praise you because of how stylish they look. vox knows you have good taste, your dating him after all!!
vox would probably show off your nails to others, and would offer for velvette to post about them on her sinstagram. or, he'll just post about you on his own account. maybe he'll take a photo of you and him with your nails in view, "casually" mentioning how lovely they look and drawing viewers attention to your lovely nails. he loves it when you both receive attention, and he wants people to know he sees you as a masterpiece
vox knows getting your nails done can take some time, and while he can't always be there in person, he'll make sure to call you or text you to make the wait more bearable. expect a lot of questions about when you'll be home, or how much longer the appointment will take
vox would probably start buffering and short circuit if he saw that your nails matched his color scheme. he LOVES the idea of you both matching through your nails, and might subtly suggest that you get blue and pink nails next time
Angel Dust
angel dust is practically your hype man! the second you tell him you're going to get your nails done he offers to accompany you, and will get a set that matches with yours!!! he loves holding your hand and admiring the way your nails match, and will randomly ask to hold your hand for the entire time you have your new nails
i'd say that angel has definitely gotten his nails done before and is probably pretty used to it, so he'll definitely calm any nerves you have. he looovessss showing off your guys' matching nails and will take a bunch of cute aesthetic nail pics with you!!!!
considering he's a celebrity, he would LOVE it if you got nails inspired by him!!!!
you two would totally have spa dates where you would go out and have full selfcare days, and get your nails done together. imagine just chilling with angel in a nail salon, relaxing as your nail technician works on your hands while your lover rambles aimlessly beside you. its a very affectionate and soft date that the two of you enjoy, and you end up going out with angel to get your nails done quite frequently
Lucifer
lucifer would 100% offer to accompany you if you were getting your nails done!!! he would love just getting to sit with you and chat while he watched you get your nails done, and would probably ask a lot of questions
once your nails are officially done, he showers you in compliments!!! he adores everything from the colors to the design, simply because you chose it
if you got super long nails or acrylics, lucifer would absolutely offer to do simple tasks for you. fumbling with a necklace clasp because your nails are too long? here, let him do it for you! can't pick up a tiny item? he practically teleports to your side! struggling to type?? here, just tell him what to say and he'll type every word for you!!!!
lucifer loves kissing your hands, and he loves doing it even more once you start getting your nails done. he'll press a kiss to each nail, traveling up to kiss your knuckles and then all the way up your arm to kiss your face
IVE NEVER GOTTEN MY NAILS DONE SO I TRIED TO BE AS ACCURATE AS POSSIBLE!!!!! APOLOGIES FOR ANY MISTAKES 😭 this was also my first time writing for husk + angel dust, which is actually shockers considering they're literally two of my favs
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comphy-and-cozy · 2 months
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One Night Standards - Anthony Beauvillier
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Pairing: Anthony Beauvillier x fem!OC
Summary: Country music sensation and Nashville sweetheart Harper Mitchell just got out of a very public, very messy breakup. She doesn't want a relationship, and, fortunately for her, Anthony Beauvillier won't be around long enough to start one. All of the makings of a perfect arrangement... right?
Word Count: 9K
Author’s Note: My first ever Beau fic!! Written for @offside-the-lines for @wyattjohnston's Summer Fic Exchange! Rox, I had a blast creating this universe for you and hope that you enjoy! S/O to Demi and @smileysvech for the plot help and being ever-helpful sounding boards.
Warnings: Alcohol use/mention, cheating themes, implied smut, friends-with-benefit relationship.
NHL Masterlist
AMERICA’S SWEETHEARTS NO MORE: ‘MICHARDS’ SPLIT!
Sources close to country music star Harper Mitchell confirm that she has split from her boyfriend, Joey Richards of 3 years amid leaked photos of him with another woman. The Daydreamin’ in Denim singer, 27, has declined for comment. 
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Harper blows a puff of air out of her lips, swiping out of Twitter. Absently, her hand moves to toy with her necklace—the one Joey had bought her to celebrate her song going Platinum. There’s a brief moment as she realizes it’s not there anymore, that she gave it to a friend of a friend so she could get it out of her house. 
It’s a simple action, miniscule in the grand scheme of her life or even her day, but it strikes her hard all the same. Within moments, her eyes are lining with tears, the all-too-familiar lump sitting heavy in her throat. She lets a tear fall before exhaling slowly. “God dammit, Joey.”
The sharp ring of her phone jolts her out of her thoughts, her agent’s name flashing across the screen beside a star emoji. When she answers, she’s greeted by a laundry list of upcoming meetings, interviews, and appearances; Harper bites back the urge to ask when she’s going to get a break.
“Don’t forget you have Erin Alvey’s album release party tomorrow night,” Candice is saying. Harper can hear the jingling of her keys as the engine turns over on the other end of the phone. “Dress code is Denim & Diamonds. I sent you a few outfit ideas and a screenshot of the details again.”
“Got it,” Harper hums, mind briefly flitting to the denim corset she has hanging in her closet. She makes a mental note to pull out a few options, even though the thought of going out in public and having to socialize makes her itch. “Will—will he be there?”
Candice pauses, and a soft almost motherly tone takes over. “No, Har. He won’t.”
Harper nods to herself, humming to let Candice know she heard. Candice continues, “There will be some press there, though. Make sure to practice up on your statements, okay? They should be focused on Erin’s album, but you know they’re looking for a reaction out of you.”
“Right,” she replies, the voice inside her head reminding her to give that man nothing. 
After reviewing a few more upcoming to do’s, Candice bids her goodbye, and once again, Harper is left alone in silence. She practices her brave face, taking a deep breath before heading to the closet to plan out her outfit; she’ll be damned if she doesn’t show up to the party hotter than ever, with no outward sign of any distress. 
———
When Filip Forsberg sent the team group chat an invitation to his wife’s album release party, Anthony had accepted quickly. Initially, he was eager to seize the opportunity to bond with some of his new teammates, but now that it’s the day of, it’s the last thing he wants to do. Still, he forces himself to pull a shirt out of one of his suitcases, tossing it in the dryer to iron out some of the wrinkles after being haphazardly chucked inside following his third trade call in two years. 
Another trade, another team, with new teammates, new facilities, new plays. At this point, he’s starting to consider himself an expert in getting traded. On one hand, he’s appreciated the opportunity to explore multiple new cities while he’s young and single. On the other, he’s noticed that he’s growing jaded, hesitant—unwilling, even, to grow attached to anything or anyone on his new team, because if he’s learned anything over the last few years, it’s that all of it is temporary. 
Anthony allows himself to mope a little bit, but it’s a text from Dante confirming that he’s going to pick him up in an hour that gives him the motivation to get his head back in the game and hop in the shower. He takes care to get himself ready; maybe, if he puts the effort in, the sting of the trade will dull. Maybe he’ll find a pretty girl to get lost in for a night. 
By the time he’s getting into Dante’s car, he’s feeling much more confident and social—the getting-ready gin and tonic he had certainly helped. He’s grateful for Barzy, even states away, for introducing him to Dante a few summers ago; the familiar face has made things a little less lonely since arriving in Nashville. 
The party is a few miles outside of the downtown area, giving Dante the chance to provide Anthony with a quick rundown of the dynamics of the team and what to expect. They joke around, make some idle chit chat, laugh about a few stupid memes. When they arrive twenty minutes later, Anthony steps out of the car with a little extra swagger in his step.
Inside, he and Dante quickly find a few of the other Predators in the corner of the room, munching on some hors d’oeuvres. They settle in, chattering about what celebrities they might see at the event. Anthony’s eyes roam, absorbing the elaborate decor, before his eyes land on a familiar face.
“Oh my God, that’s Harper Mitchell,” he whispers. “I’ve had a crush on her for years.”
Ryan raises his eyebrow, then grins at Anthony. “Really? A Frenchman like you?”
“You forget who my friends were in New York. All kinds of country boys over there,” Anthony replies, his mind flashing briefly to the country music Mat would blast in the car on the way to and from the rink. “Barzy’s gonna die when I tell him she was here.”
The group mingles, Filip eventually making his way over to greet his teammates. Anthony does his best to be conversational, staying engaged, but he can’t help but glance across the room in search of long, dark curls and skin-tight jeans. He makes a mental note to text Barzy and tell her how much hotter she looks in person. 
Dante elbows Anthony, who is conveniently mid-sip of his drink. “Dude, she’s coming over. Buck up, Romeo.”
Across the room, Harper steels herself, finding comfort in the familiar brown eyes of her longtime friend’s husband, flanked by a posse of who she presumes are teammates. Outside of attending a few games with Erin, she knows next to nothing about hockey, but she’s always been surprised at how good looking Fil’s teammates are.
“Great to see you Fil,” she says, plastering her practiced smile on her face.
“You doing okay?” he whispers into her ear as he leans in for a hug. 
The tightness in her throat returns, the heavy lump sitting firmly. Harper swallows thickly, blinking quickly to rid her eyes of the tears that threaten to bubble over. “Yep. All good.”
If Filip sees through the weak lie, he doesn’t say anything, only pulls away and gestures to the group of guys behind him, standing awkwardly as they glance around. “You remember Dante and Ryan.”
“Of course,” she nods, offering each of them a smile. Her eyes connect with Ryan. “Great goal the other night.”
“And this is Beau—Anthony Beauvillier—he’s the new guy.”
“Nice to meet you.” Harper’s eyes lock with two cerulean ones. They’re kind, warm—comforting.  “Welcome to Nashville.”
“D’you live in Abberly Foundry?” he blurts it out before he has a chance to stop himself. 
Dante sputters out a laugh. “Dude, come on. You can’t just ask her where she lives.”
Anthony blushes, looking at Harper bashfully. “N-no, I’m sorry it came out that way. I mean, I live there too. I think I’ve seen you in the lobby a few times.”
“Hopefully you haven’t seen me after a show; usually those looks are a little rough,” Harper says with a smile.
He doesn’t have the balls to tell her she looks beautiful every time he’s seen her, so he just laughs it off instead. She turns her attention toward Ryan to ask about his kids, relieving Anthony of the pressure of having to carry on the conversation; instead, he takes a breath, a long swig of his drink, and slips himself into chatter with Dante. 
Even after she walks away to brush elbows with the other Nashville starlets, blue eyes follow Harper for the rest of the night.
———
She bumps into those same blue eyes in the elevator the next day, and Anthony offers to help carry her groceries to her apartment. Fortunately for his nerves, Harper is trained in small talk, asking him about how he’s liking the city and what he’s explored so far. He feels a little lame that the answer is virtually nothing outside of a handful of restaurants and bars. 
Once he’s inside her apartment—a slightly elevated version of his own—Anthony feels like he doesn’t belong there. His eyes dart around, taking in the decor: the little blue bowl by the counter for her keys, the flowers on the coffee table, the framed Sopranos picture next to her fridge.
“Tony’s my dad,” she explains when she notices Anthony amusedly chuckling at it. 
“Good dad to have,” he comments, setting the grocery bags in his arms down onto the counter. He stands awkwardly, not sure if he should leave or offer to help. 
“Are you a Sopranos fan, too?”
“Of course,” he grins, then puts on his best Italian accent. “What, no fuckin’ ziti?”
Harper’s laugh is loud, and Anthony feels a surge of pride in his chest that he made the Harper Mitchell laugh. “Finally, a man with taste.”
“I have a hard time sleeping after games sometimes,” he explains, helping her to empty her bags, “so I’ve made my way through a lot of shows.”
Her eyes narrow as she begins to put the groceries in their respective homes. The conversation flows naturally to her, comfortable with forcing all kinds of chatter at shows and appearances. “What’s your favorite that you watched recently?”
“The Jinx for sure,” he says. “It’s one of the craziest I’ve ever seen.”
Harper’s jaw drops, and at first, Anthony is afraid he said something wrong. But then her face lights up, and her eyes grow excited. “Oh my god – the hot mic footage!?”
Anthony shakes his head in disbelief, nodding in agreement. “I know. That was a wild way to end it. And to make people wait almost 10 years for another season!?”
“I won’t lie, I’ve been in a huge Bob Durst hyperfixation lately,” she laughs, excited that someone understands her niche interest. “I’ve been listening to the podcast, too.”
Anthony leaves an hour and a half later after a full-blown discussion about Robert Durst and The Jinx, along with her number stored securely in his phone and an open invitation to come over the next time he can’t sleep (“I have a lot of late nights, too,” she’d said). The next day, he sends her a Sopranos meme, not knowing it’s the catalyst that will change the rest of his life. 
From there, a flip switches. Just like that, Harper can barely remember what life was like before Anthony arrived—and Anthony can’t fathom a Nashville without Harper. They start spending much of their free time together, which, while limited, is made much more convenient due to the fact that the commute is only a short elevator ride up four floors. The days in between are filled with text messages and voice memos, usually random thoughts sprinkled in with a recap of some movie she’d recommended or silly updates on the road.
Anthony finds himself looking for her name on his phone when he leaves the gym, keeping mental notes of her schedule to know when he should clear his own to make time for her. He brushes off teasing from his teammates, razzing him for being a lovesick fanboy. 
From the start, despite both Forsbergs digging on multiple occasions for more information, Harper never could quite put a label on the relationship she and Anthony had. She’d clocked the way his eyes flicked down to the curve of her breast, yet she also was keenly aware of the many opportunities he’d had to make a move and never had. He was cute, but she wasn’t interested in pursuing anything farther—not after Joey. She needed time to heal, to recover, to grow on her own. She’d focus on her career, write an album telling her story. And then she’d find someone.
If she was lucky, maybe Anthony would be waiting there at the end of it all.
———
It’s a few weeks into their newfound routine when Harper declines a request to hang out, informing Anthony that she’s having a girl’s night out at the bars to “celebrate her freedom”. 
While disappointed, Anthony is equally eager to have a night to himself to relax. It’s been a whirlwind few weeks adjusting to his new team, new routine, new friends. He gets takeout—Harper’s favorite Italian place just down the block—and, after calling his mom, he fires up the Playstation to lose himself in a game for a while.
A few hours later, he sets down his controller, stretching his legs out with a groan. He glances at the clock on the microwave, his mind briefly flitting to Harper, hoping that she’s drinking and dancing Joey out of her system. It feels a bit strange, he thinks, to be home on a night off and not be with her, but he knows that a night out on the town is therapeutic in a way he could never provide. 
Then, his mind starts to wander, thinking back on the times he’s heard people say that catch phrase, The best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else, and he can feel his skin crawl at the thought. His blood simmers low in his stomach, the ugly head of jealousy roaring as he pushes away the images floating into his head. 
Of course he’s attracted to Harper—who wouldn’t be? Long, dark hair, her big, brown eyes, a body that’s more fitting for a supermodel than a musical artist; she has it all, and a bubbly, quick wit that would make anyone fall in love with her. 
Not that he’s in love with her. Or even has feelings for her. They barely know each other—that would be crazy. Never mind the fact that she’s the only girl he’s really spoken to since he got to Nashville. Hell, he hasn’t even thought about opening the apps to find a girl, even though he’s sure he could pick one up with ease. 
He blames it on the season, on the craziness of yet another trade, of prepping for the playoffs. A nagging feeling inside of him knows that’s not entirely it, like part of him is whispering to himself, She’s right there, idiot.
But there's no way a girl like that could ever be interested in him—a measley, dumb jock who hasn’t had a home since New York. Harper Mitchell is far too intelligent, successful, and driven to ever give him a second glance. He doesn’t even have the money factor to give him an edge over who he presumes are his potential competitors. 
So, friendly neighbors it is.
He wrestles down the thought as he climbs into bed, though his mind is clouded with thoughts of Harper as he falls asleep.
Anthony blinks awake, taking a few moments to acclimate himself. A quick check confirms he’s in bed and it’s late—only the low light of the moon shines behind the drawn curtains. As consciousness begins to seep back in, he realizes that it’s a disjointed knocking at the door that woke him.
A glance at the clock—2:48am—has a confused grunt emerging from his throat before he’s begrudgingly dragging himself out of bed. Slipping on the pair of sweatpants he’d left in a pile on the floor, Anthony blinks more sleep out of his eyes, navigating his way to the front door.
“Harper?”
“Anthony!” she squeals, launching herself forward. Strong arms are there to catch her, leather skirt and all. “I missed you.”
He stifles a laugh, stumbling back inside his apartment and hoping she didn’t wake any of his neighbors. “Harper, did you just get home?”
It’s only when he pulls away that he notes the large brown paper bag clutched in her hand: McDonald’s. Judging by the large Diet Coke and heavenly scent of fresh fries, along with the glassiness of Harper’s eyes, Anthony deduces in short order that it’s a drunk meal. 
“Dave took me to Mickey’s,” she explains.
“Dave?”
“M’Uber driver,” Harper slurs, tugging open the brown bag and fishing out a box of chicken nuggets.
Anthony stifles a chuckle watching her dunk an entire nugget into the honey mustard sauce packet. He also realizes how little he’s clothed—he hadn’t thrown a shirt on in his sleepy march to the door. 
Pulled out of his thoughts, Anthony realizes that Harper’s chewing has slowed and that she’s unabashedly staring at his exposed torso. He watches her eyes trail along the lines of his muscle, dipping lower until the view is obscured by the thick hem of his sweatpants.
“You’re hot,” she says, bluntly. Anthony’s laugh quirks up the side of his mouth.
He figures he doesn’t have much to lose, so he says, “So are you.”
Harper flips her hair. “Do you think so?”
“I think you’re beautiful.”
In response, she dunks another nugget into the sauce. “You’re sweet.”
Anthony opens his mouth to reply when Harper’s face contorts. Her eyes widen, and she chucks the nugget out of her hand while darting into the bathroom. The door shuts behind her and he winces when he hears the muffled sound of retching.
After laughing to himself, watching the smallest hope of earning a kiss from Harper Mitchell’s pretty lips drift away, he debates whether he should offer to hold her hair back. Ultimately, he opts to pour a big glass of water, grab the Advil bottle, and find a t-shirt in his dresser drawer.
He knocks softly on the bathroom door, helping her up and leading her back to his bedroom after cleaning her up. Not exactly the way he’d envisioned Harper in his bed, but he supposes beggars can’t be choosers.
It takes a bit of wrangling and no shortage of discomfort on Anthony’s end to get Harper changed into his t-shirt, into bed, and to consume both the Advil and some of the water he poured. By the time he returns from brushing his teeth, she’s out like a light, and Anthony smiles to himself as he slides in next to her.
While it wasn’t what he had in mind initially, Anthony feels her warmth beside him and listens to the steady sound of her breathing. As he drifts off to sleep, he thinks to himself that he doesn’t mind one bit. 
———
Harper’s head pounds as soon as she opens her eyes. It takes a moment to register that she has no idea where she is, the bed and walls and curtains all unfamiliar. The space beside her in the bed is warm, but there’s nobody there. Where the fuck is she?
She racks her brain, only snippets of last night flickering into her memory. One thing she does remember are soft, blue eyes and a familiar laugh.
Anthony.
After checking herself to confirm she is, in fact, clothed, Harper sits up, almost forgetting about the splitting headache that’s threatening to ruin her day before it even begins. Massaging her temples, she groans.
“That good, huh?”
The voice startles her, and Harper glances up to see Anthony walking toward her, a steaming mug in his hand that he offers her as he approaches. He opens his palm to reveal two pills, which she accepts gratefully along with the coffee. “Thanks. How… why am I here?”
Anthony laughs. “Oh, you remember nothing, huh?”
“Oh god, what did I do?”
He fills her in on the details, from the mess of honey mustard to wrestling a t-shirt over her head to get her into bed. He does, however, decide to keep her drunken confession of attraction to him to himself. No need to divulge that yet.
“Did we… ?” Her voice is different, hesitant, and Anthony makes a mental note of it. He shakes his head, and the relief on her face nearly makes his heart crack. 
Harper laughs uncomfortably, the tension between them suddenly thick with the knowledge that both of them are thinking about the exact same thing: she doesn’t care to admit that the thought has crossed her mind prior to right now. She rubs her face with her hands with a groan. “I’m sorry. This is so embarrassing.”
Anthony waves a hand to brush it off as he says, “It’s nothing. You were… charming.” 
Her face contorts into an exaggerated expression of worry. “That sounds horrific. I don’t want to know.”
Harper lugs herself out of bed not long after, once the deep throb inside her skull subsides just slightly—though she’s not confident she’ll make it up the elevator without vomiting. Anthony doesn’t show any sign of discomfort from the social mishap from earlier, offering her an old pair of slides so she doesn’t have to make the trip back to her apartment in her heels. “For your walk of shame.”
She snorts, accepting them gratefully. “Does it count as a walk of shame if we didn’t even sleep together?”
“Well, technically we did sleep together,” Anthony says with a shoulder bump, enjoying the way her cheeks flush when he says it. 
“And now I’m leaving,” she says with another laugh, pulling open the door. “Goodbye, Anthony.”
———
Following their pseudo one night stand, Harper is grateful for a 2-day road trip that forces an extra few days to let her embarrassment settle. Even after multiple profuse apologies, she still feels mortified, but Anthony doesn’t seem to mind; in fact, he texts her after landing home to confirm their plans for “Nashville Day”, as Harper had dubbed it—a day, she had said, to show him some of the classics of Music City.
After practice, she meets him eagerly to take him to purchase his very first Nashville cowboy hat, which she makes him wear as she treats him to his first ever Nashville hot chicken sandwich (Anthony tries to blink away the tears in his eyes while simultaneously being incredibly impressed at the ease with which Harper puts away once of the spiciest things he’s ever eaten in his life). 
Following a quick ice cream detour—Harper doesn’t tell him that she thinks the ice cream will help his burning tongue—the third part of Nashville Day begins: a bar crawl to an assortment of classic Nashville bars, including the bar she’d first started performing at. 
“You ever been line dancing?” she asks, guiding him through the crowd on the sidewalk. The city is bustling, per usual, but Anthony doesn’t notice anyone except Harper and her floral wide-leg jeans.
“I’m from Quebec,” he laughs. “What do you think?”
Harper grins. “Great. Come with me.”
Anthony steels himself as he follows her between two wooden doors. It’s dimly lit, with low lighting shining on the worn, wooden floor–from years worth of dancing. Harper smiles.
“Can you do the Cupid Shuffle?”
“Uh… kind of?”
“It’s like that, just with more country music.”
Putting on a brave face, he nods with far more confidence than he feels. Harper finds two barstools—to let him ‘observe’ first before diving in himself. What Harper doesn’t notice, though, is that Anthony spends more time watching her smile and bounce her knee with the beat.
A small crowd gathers and he’s immediately overwhelmed by the synchronized shuffling, stomping, and tapping, but he tries to study the movements carefully. A few songs pass but he’s nowhere near feeling confident enough to go out on his own—in fact, he’d be quite content sitting on the sidelines for the rest of the night, but of course, Harper has other plans. 
“Come on, this is my favorite one!” she squeals, seizing Anthony’s hand and dragging him out into the crowd before he has a chance to protest. Harper selects a spot on the edge of the line, positioning him beside her and jumping right into the moves. Anthony moves partially into panic mode, eyes darting around at the patrons around him moving perfectly in sync. His feet cross over themselves, awkward and out of place, and Harper laughs, exaggerating her movements to try and help him out. 
“Stomp, stomp, back, back,” she guides him, taking his hand again to turn him when the group shuffles and changes direction. 
Anthony’s got two left feet, but he manages to get a decent enough hold on the moves, following the beat—albeit a bit clumsily. Harper admires his commitment, watching the way his brows knit together in concentration.
Eventually, he gets the hang of it… sort of. Still, he’s relieved when Harper exits the dance floor, nursing his bruised ego while they make their way to get another drink.
“You did good out there for your first time,” she says encouragingly. 
Anthony scoffs, biting back a laugh. “Yeah, right.”
“I’ve seen worse,” she replies with a wink. Her eyes trail over to the mechanical bull on the other side of the room, the crowd around it growing. “You want to scratch another first off your list tonight?”
Blue eyes follow her line of sight, widening when they register what she’s referring to. He’s shaking his head before he can get the words out. “Not a chance.”
“You’re scared,” she says teasingly, sticking her tongue out. “I get it. I’ll show you how it’s done.”
The crowd cheers as she hauls herself up on the saddle. Anthony ignores the pulse below his belt at the image of her legs straddling the bull, but he can’t help the throb watching the way her hips loosen and roll with the movements of the bull. It’s not his fault his brain decided to conjure the image of her doing the exact same thing on top of him.
Fortunately for him, he’s adjusted himself and she doesn’t seem to notice the half-hard erection when she rejoins him after getting knocked off—after an impressive 18 seconds.
“I’m really glad I didn’t try to compete with you,” he says, handing back her drink that she’d left with him for safe keeping. “I’d probably end up on IR and get yelled at by my coaches.”
Harper laughs. “I’ll accept that as an excuse. But after your season is done, you’re getting on that bull.”
“Aye aye,” he says with a salute. 
The pair fall silent for a few moments, distracted by the next patron getting flung off the bull in an aggressive 3-second ride. 
“Why don’t you have a girl, Anthony?” The question comes from out of nowhere.
“What do you mean?”
She takes another sip. “You’re handsome, you’re successful, you’re an athlete, you’re funny. What girl wouldn’t want you?”
Anthony’s heart starts to pound in his chest, his breathing quickening. Keep it cool, man. He shrugs with a nervous chuckle, faffing some string of “yeah, I just–just not really into that right now, while I’m young, you know?”
Harper observes him for a moment, lost in thought as she swirls the lime in her Corona. Anthony lets the moment sit, returning her gaze with a cool and patient smile, his eyes bonded to hers. 
When she speaks, Anthony’s expression falters at first. “The good thing about Joey was that he understood the schedule. So much hopping. Meetings, promos, shows, events. My career isn’t going to be second place to a relationship, so better to date someone who understands that lifestyle.”
Anthony nods, following along. He can practically see the flight path of this conversation, wrestling with the slight increase in his pulse as it plays out in front of him.
“‘Course, maybe that didn’t help, either,” she says with a laugh. 
It’s Anthony’s turn to leave a long silence, contemplating her curiously. He weighs the words on his tongue, toying around with them before speaking them out loud. “Sounds like you need a friends-with-benefits.”
Harper considers. Friends with benefits gives the company of a partner, but without the attachment. At least, in theory. 
“Everyone knows friends with benefits doesn’t work,” she retorts. “Someone always falls for the other.”
“Not if one of them is leaving Nashville this summer.”
Her eyebrows raise. The offer, no longer subtle, is hanging out in the open on the bar lined with scuff marks and water rings from damp bottles. 
“You sure you want to be saying that?” An invisible line in the sand, officially crossed.
A smile graces Anthony’s lips, which he then wets with another swig of his beer. “Most girls only want to date me for the celebrity—to say they’re fucking an NHL player.”
The rest of his sentence doesn’t make it out, but it’s obvious what comes next. But not you.
Because Harper gets it. She’s a celebrity herself, has even more fame and accolades than Anthony, is comfortable with the public eye and everything that comes with having a blue checkmark next to her name. There’s no need to skirt over the clout-chasing and wallet-grabbing insecurities.
Plus, they’re neighbors. Convenient for short notice booty calls—and easy to go to bed alone. The sporadic travel schedules are mutual, as are late nights, early mornings, and quick nights at home. And with Anthony’s future up in the air, it practically guaranteed a clean split at the end of it all.
“Is that all?”
Anthony nudges his empty bottle toward the edge of the bar, leaning in closer toward Harper as he does so. The sweet scent of her perfume invades his senses when he brings his lips closer to her ear before whispering, “I really, really want to fuck you.”
She feels a low pulse in her gut at his words, then downs the rest of her beer. No longer able to deny her burgeoning attraction to him, she shrugs. “Alright. Show me what you got then, Tito.”
Anthony grins at the nickname, sitting back and offering his hand. Harper accepts it, and soon enough, they’re climbing into the backseat of an Uber.
They end up at Harper’s, and Anthony doesn’t demonstrate patience when he kisses her as soon as the door closes. His tongue is practiced, and Harper gets the distinct sense that he’s been waiting for this for a while. His hands card through her hair, holding her close like he can’t bear to part with her. 
“If we’re going to do this—” she begins, wrestling his shirt over his head, pausing for a moment to admire the god-like physique underneath his clothes. She’s never seen it sober, and she wants to enjoy it. Her eyes trailed over the deep cut of his muscles, words stuck in her throat as she gapes at the sight in front of her. 
Anthony’s lips curl up, amused by the way he appears to have rendered her—the bubbly, famously charismatic Harper Mitchell—speechless. His hands are steady pressed against her sides, hot on her skin. He brings her attention away from his body when he asks cheekily, “Do what?”
“I’m serious, Anthony,” she says, more sternly after she wrenches herself away from his tempting lips. “If we’re going to do—this—that’s all it is. I’m not doing the whole ‘Oops I fell in love with you’ shtick, and I need you to be okay with that. Okay?”
The subtle twitch of his jaw is the only sign of any hesitation; a beat passes, and he nods so smoothly that Harper is almost surprised. He doesn’t give her much time to dwell on it, though, when he presses forward to capture her lips again, leaning her against the wall.
“Whatever you say,” he breathes. 
There isn’t much talking from there, save for the sound of lips on skin, soft moans, and the rustle of sheets. Anthony’s body slots against hers, skin hot as he moves slowly, deeply. Harper’s fingers press into the dips of his biceps, pleasure radiating.
When they lie beside each other panting later, Harper turns to face him. The best way to describe the way he’s feeling is shock at how explosive, how other worldly it was to be with her. He’ll come to grips with the fact that he actually slept with the country singer he’s had a crush on for years later.
Anthony feels her eyes on him and he lets his hand rest on her side. Her voice is soft when she asks, “What are you thinking about?” 
“How this has got to be in the top five greatest decisions of my life.”
“Only top five?” She nudges his leg teasingly. 
“I’ll re-evaluate after next time.”
It doesn’t take long for their already practiced routine to become ritual: during periods they’re both home, one rarely spends an evening alone. Sometimes she’ll bring takeout, sometimes he’ll cook and they’ll watch a hockey game or a movie, and sometimes they go straight into the bedroom—particularly after a few extra days apart.
For once, the ‘friends with benefits’ thing works. Things are easy between them, casual, and the base they’d already established for their relationship makes things smooth. Harper’s having fun, and, for the first time since she saw those videos of Joey, she feels happy. 
And Anthony? He doesn’t tell her, but he secretly wonders if their arrangement is actually the best decision he’s ever made. 
———
The room is quiet, save for the slowing heavy breathing. Harper’s legs feel like jelly and the space between her thighs tingles with a warm radiance that only Anthony can bring. 
“What happened with Joey?” 
Harper casts him a sideways glance, sheet rustling with the movement. Moonlight streams in through the half-parted curtains of Anthony’s bedroom. It’s always funny to see the same view that she has from her own apartment, but in an entirely different space. “I don’t want to do pillow talk, Anthony.”
He pauses for a moment, smiling to himself. “Okay,” he says, slipping out from underneath the sheet; Harper’s eyes instinctively move to the generous, shapely curve of his ass. The cool, purple light of the moon illuminates the shape and lines of his back muscles as he leans down to pull on his boxers, then his sweatpants, then his Alo t-shirt. Strolling out of the open bedroom door, Harper hears his feet padding down the hallway rug, followed by the sound of a cabinet, a clink of glass, and finally, the sound of a cup being filled with liquid. 
Moments later, Anthony saunters back into the room, climbing back onto the bed. He hands her a stemless glass of wine, then grabs the remote from the bedside table and clicks on the television mounted across the room.
“Now it’s just two friends hanging out.”
Harper can’t help the short, exhaled laugh that slips out despite the impact of the message. She blinks, letting her eyes flick down to the glass. The red wine sloshes inside, its tart scent drifting into her nose. She takes a sip.
“I thought we were happy,” she says after a while. Her voice is quiet, reflective, shaking just the slightest bit. Anthony sits patiently and listens. “We were talking about moving in together.”
The glow from the television lights up the side of Harper’s face, cast down as she tells her story. Anthony watches her, his heart lurching at the expression on her face. But he needs to know. Needs to know what he’s working with, what his barrier to being with her—really being with her—looks like. 
“He checked in at night when we were apart, FaceTimes a lot of the time too, so it honestly wasn’t anywhere on my radar; I genuinely had no idea he was sneaking around.. I thought the pictures were photoshopped—just something someone was making up on the internet for drama.” She pauses. “But then I saw the videos.”
Anthony’s mouth falls open. “There were videos?”
“Multiple,” she says, a soft, sad smile on her face as she glances over to him. His heart fractures.
“I’m sorry,” he says dumbly. “That’s awful. What did you do?”
“I’m not sure what it was like in Chicago, but it blew up here. There was no way he didn’t know that I knew. So I packed up his shit, left it on the porch of his house, and that was it. I didn’t give him the chance to explain himself or apologize.”
Shit. “Still… that’s a lot to have to deal with. You need closure.”
“I deserve better than that,” Harper says matter-of-factly. “And anyone who isn’t going to give me that doesn’t deserve my time. No closure necessary.”
Anthony nods, struck with the sheer force of her strong persona. He hesitates, the words sitting in his mouth for a few moments as he debates if he should speak them out. But he can’t miss the opportunity—not when this is the closest he’s come to uncovering the truth. “Is that why you won’t do a relationship?”
She doesn’t answer.
“Not every partner you have is going to be like that, you know,” he offers. 
Harper shakes her head, taking a sip of the wine. “I’m not ready to take that risk yet.”
———
It isn’t until the end of April that Harper realizes the enormous space Anthony had carved out for himself in her life. She’s sitting on his mattress, legs crossed with an oversized Islanders sweatshirt on, playing him a portion of a demo she’d recorded earlier that day. His suitcase is out, and he’s in the process of packing for an extended trip to Vancouver—at least, longer than he’d been away since they started spending time together.
“A whole week?” she pouted.
“It’s only five days,” he laughs, folding a hoodie and placing it into the bag. He glances at her, liking the sight of her on his bed and in his clothes. The sleeves of the blue sweatshirt are baggy, rolled over her wrists, and the hem at the bottom swims over her thighs. Then he adds, “You look good in that.”
“I look good in everything,” she says with a cheeky wink.
“You do,” he agrees. “And nothing, too.”
A pulse awakens between Harper’s thighs at the heat in his eyes when he says it, gone with a blink when he returns to the closet to pull out more clothes.
“I don’t know how to be here alone anymore!” she whines.
Anthony snorts before tossing a few pairs of rolled up socks into his bag. “Are you sure it’s not just because you start to get cranky when you go a few days without dick?”
Scoffing, Harper rolls her eyes. “I can get plenty of dick, if I want it. I don’t need you for that.”
If her sharp words hurt him, he doesn’t show it, instead sending a smirk in her direction. He zips up his suitcase, setting it on the floor before turning back to her. Blue eyes lock with hers as he slides a knee onto the mattress, then the other, slinking his way toward her until his legs are straddling hers, his lips mere inches from her own. Harper feels a flutter in her heart that mimics the one between her legs, heat flooding through her at the proximity of his body. “You don’t need me, but you sure do want me.”
Just like that, she’s putty beneath him, melting as soon as his plush lips press against hers. Heat radiates through her system as the kiss intensifies, allowing his tongue to slip into her mouth. Anthony’s fingers lace with hers and pin her hands against the mattress, bracketing her face with his arms.
Abruptly, he pulls away from her, his cheeks flushed. Another smug smile curls up on his face, observing the hitch in her throat and the glassiness of her eyes. 
“You sure you can get that somewhere else?”
———
Eliminated in the first round, the Predators’ playoff run isn’t nearly as deep as Anthony hoped it’d be. Not just for the obvious—chasing his dream of winning the Stanley Cup, but because the end of the season means his inevitable departure from Nashville, and, ultimately, Harper. 
As disappointing as the loss is, hearing the deafening silence of Predators fans at Bridgestone Arena, he’s grateful for the lack of travel home afterwards. He feels strange packing up his things after the game, seeing the disappointment and frustration running deep in the locker room, not knowing if he’ll be back in this place come October to help them take another run at it.
Harper arrives to his apartment not long after he does, wordlessly joining him in the shower he stepped into. Their bodies blend into one under the warm water, cascading over their joined form as she allows Anthony to work out his conflicting feelings in the comfort of her arms. It’s quiet, sensual; his lips seek out peace by marking up the smooth skin of her neck and collarbones while he presses his hips into hers, following a steady and slow rhythm until they’re both reaching their climax in the steam-filled room.
She stays over that night, a rare but not unheard of occurrence as their relationship has progressed. After another round of silent, sinful therapy, Anthony is plagued by his typical post-game insomnia, heightened by the disappointment of his loss and the uncertainty of his future. He watches Harper sleep, soaking in each breath, the rise and fall of her chest, the glow of her skin underneath the moonlight. Her air-dried hair is wavy, a little bit of frizz, and even in the dark, the sparse freckles on her nose stand out against her tawny skin.
It’s almost 2:30am by the time he realizes he’s been gazing at her for over an hour. He’s a little bit embarrassed, quickly blinking away even though she’s been dead to the world ever since he made her come for the third time that night. It was too easy to trail his eyes over the lines of her face, the fullness of her lips, drowning out the stressors of the outside world with Harper’s beauty.
His eyes grow heavy, lost in thought, amused at himself for literally watching her sleep. He hadn’t even thought about hockey.
Anthony’s eyes widen. He hadn’t thought about hockey on the last night of his season, with no contract in place for his next, after an abysmal performance in what was supposed to be a promising postseason. Instead, he’s being a lovesick puppy staring at a girl who isn’t his. 
And all at once, it hits him. He’s in love with Harper.
And he’s leaving Nashville. Doesn’t know if he’ll be back. And he promised her he wouldn’t catch feelings. Practically guaranteed it. 
His heart thuds in his chest as the realization sets in. Despite his fear and uncertainty about the enormous wrench it just put into his… well, life, he’s suddenly wondering how long he’d lived with this feeling for Harper and didn’t know it. He’s never been so aware of the beating of his heart in his chest, memorizing the feel of it.
Harper stirs beside him, as if her subconscious has finally realized he’s been staring at her for way too long. He turns his head and closes his eyes, feigning sleep, unsure if she’s awake or just shifting. Sleep closes in on him, not claiming him completely before he feels a gentle press of lips against his sleeping cheek.
———
In the morning, his scent is the first thing that Harper registers, head resting heavily on Anthony’s bicep. His leg is pressed against hers, and a subtle adjustment of her hips confirms that neither of them bothered to put clothes on last night. He’s warm, solid against her body, and the steadiness of his deep breathing is calming. 
She wonders how late he stayed awake. He’d thoroughly exhausted her—the space between her legs aches deliciously when she stretches—and the thought flits through her mind that last night was probably one of the last times she’d be with him for awhile. Maybe ever. 
So she savors it. Instead of leaving the way she always has, the way she knows she should, she snuggles into his warmth, soaking it in one last time.
When Anthony wakes, Harper is practically wrapped around him, nuzzled underneath his chin. His heart hammers in his chest as his revelation from the night before sinks in.
He’s in love with Harper Mitchell. And she’s naked in his bed.
Anthony’s mind rolls, wondering if he should tell her. And if he should, what should he say—and when? He’s running out of time, his time in Nashville slipping away faster than he’s ready to accept. 
By the time Harper wakes, he’s made the executive decision to wait. Not yet. 
She stays for a plate of scrambled eggs and one more round against the counter when a comforting hug gets quickly heated. Anthony stares at the door long after she leaves, words echoing in his head in a hopeless jumble.
It isn’t until the next day when he’s packing up his bedroom and finds a small, Harper-sized sock that he makes the split decision. He sends a quick text letting her know he’s on his way, and her expression is concerned when she answers the door. “Is everything okay?”
“Can I come in?”
She steps aside to let him in the door, following him anxiously into the kitchen where he turns to face her. “I’ve been thinking.”
Her arms cross and an amused expression floats over her face. “Oh yeah?”
“Reflecting,” he corrects. “On my time in Nashville, now that it’s…”
The words trail off, but Harper knows what’s next. Over.
“It’s been short, but I realized I dreaded the end of the season not because of getting eliminated, but because it meant I’d be leaving you.”
The words hang heavy between them. He sighs and speaks again. “You asked me why I don’t have a girl, and the truth is that I didn’t know what I wanted until I woke up with you in my bed.” 
Another beat passes and he waits for the message to hit. Then he confesses, “You’re what I want, Harper.”
“Anthony,” she says, like a warning. He can hear the way her voice trembles, and he can feel the lift in his heart. “Don’t do this.”
He ignores her, ignores the way her body stiffens. If he can just get through to her, she’ll see. He’s sure of it. 
“You said it yourself—you deserve better than how Joey treated you. You know that I can and will treat you better. Exactly how you deserve.”
“You can’t say that.”
“Why not?” he challenges. “I know you feel the same.”
Harper exhales harshly, her hands on her hips. For a second, Anthony is scared of her and the fire in her eyes.
“It doesn’t matter how I feel,” she finally says. Joey flashes through her mind, glimpses of the video of him kissing another girl, of the way it felt like the world had stopped when she saw it. The lump in her throat is heavy, and she shoves away any flitter of hope that burns quietly in her chest. She can’t—cannot—allow that to happen again.
“Does it matter how I feel?”
Harper’s eyes shoot up to Anthony’s, the usual cerulean swimming with a deeper cornflower shade. She can’t place the emotion behind it. Concern? Hurt? Something else?
“I care how you feel,” she says, “but no matter how you feel, it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want that. I can’t do it right now.”
“That’s a crock of shit, and you know it. We’ve basically been dating this entire time.”
Harper shakes her head. “Your definition of dating must be very different from mine.”
“Sleepovers, movie nights, coffee dates, constant texting,” he lists, counting them off on his fingers. “That doesn’t sound like dating to you?”
“That’s not fair.”
“Not fair? What’s not fair is you not even giving me a chance when you know I’m right!”
“You knew that’s all this was!” Harper exclaims, her heartbeat racing. “You agreed to that before any of this started, Anthony.”
Anthony bristles, his jaw clenching. His breath quickens and anger bubbles in the pit of his stomach—he can hear the resistance in her voice. Why won’t she admit she feels the same? He knows she does.
But if she isn’t going to, or doesn’t want to, then there’s no use in trying. And he can’t keep falling harder for her—not if she isn’t going to reciprocate. 
“Then maybe we should quit while we’re ahead.”
Something flashes in Harper’s eyes, so fast he barely catches it before it’s gone and replaced by cold. Her back stiffens and she draws herself up taller. “Maybe we should.”
The silence in the room is heavy and uncomfortable. Anthony and Harper stare at each other, unspoken words swirling in the air between them. There’s so much left to say, so many things left unsaid, but Anthony’s head is too clouded with defeat and frustration.
So, he shrugs, bids an uncomfortable goodbye, and takes his leave of her apartment. Harper stands in silence, wondering how, after all the care she took to protect herself after Joey,  she feels the same ache in her heart as the day he’d left.
———
The next day, Harper has a songwriting session with Zoey, who, fortunately for her, comes prepared with three half-written songs. They’re easier, take a little less brain power, and she’s grateful for a friend who came prepared. Waking up was easy, but remembering her and Anthony’s fight had been tough.
Those three songs turn into a warmup, and three hours later, Harper emerges from a songwriting haze, almost half an album deep. There’s work to do, but she’s pleased with what they came up with, her mind already swimming with other ideas that she’s sure she’ll be recording half-completed voice memos with for the rest of the night. 
She stays to chat with Zoey for a little while, catching up on the latest in each other’s lives and making plans for coffee soon. Harper packs up her things, murmuring a goodbye with her head swimming.
“Who is he?”
Trannie’s voice comes from behind her, and Harper pauses, her keys jingling in her hand. She turns. “Who is who?”
“The guy in those songs.”
“What are you talking about? Zo, it was Joey,” she says.
“Not all of it. There’s someone else in there.”
Anthony’s eyes float through her mind, and although she can lie to Zoey, she can’t lie to herself. 
Harper flies home, rushing up the elevator and pounding on Anthony’s door. She stands impatiently, heart thumping in her chest, listening for the familiar sound of his feet on the tiled floor of the kitchen. 
The sound doesn’t come, though, and Harper waits by the door until a building manager comes by and informs her that the resident of unit 1293 turned in his keys earlier that day. Vaguely aware of offering a short ‘thank you’, Harper returns to her own apartment in shock. 
Anthony is gone.
And she’s only just realized that she’s in love with him.
Twenty four hours later, she’s on a plane. Her heart beats in her throat as she watches it touchdown. Bienvenue a Montreal flashes on the screen outside the jet bridge. Harper finds the address she bribed Filip for in her phone, pulling up her Lyft app. 
Once she’s in the vehicle, she blows out a breath and loses herself in thought. The Montreal skyline comes into view outside the window, and she’s instantly surrounded by everything Anthony. The trees, the buildings, the streets—she wonders how many of them he’s seen, been to. She thinks about going to those places with him.
When the red Nissan pulls up to the house, Harper thanks her driver and steps out. Her hands shake, but she pushes through, clutching the handle of her small duffle bag until she’s knocking at the door.
Anthony’s face is nothing but shock when he opens the door. “Harper?”
“Anthony,” she says, breathless. She’s frozen in place, staring at him, like she forgot what she came there for. His eyes, she notices, are the same shade of cool, cornflowery blue as that day he’d left. It makes her heart ache.
“What are you doing here?” His words pull her out of her thoughts and she briefly wonders how long she’d been staring at him in silence. 
“I couldn’t—I couldn’t let you leave like that. After everything we—I just couldn’t.”
He sighs, stepping outside and closing the door behind him. “You made it clear how you feel, Harper. You didn’t need to come all this way to say it again.”
“No, Anthony,” she says, watching his expression shift when she says it. “I was wrong. I was scared. I am scared.”
“Of what?”
Harper shifts on her feet, the lump in her throat tightening. Anthony’s gaze is firm and unwavering. “Of getting hurt again. Of Joey happening all over again. Of you leaving.”
It clicks for him, then, the worry in her eyes. “I’m not Joey, Harper. I think you know that. I can’t promise that everything will be perfect always, but I’m willing to give it my best shot because I think you’re worth it.”
“What if you decide I’m not worth it anymore?”
Anthony takes her hand in his, stroking the back of it with his thumb. “Harper, you are kind, funny, smart, talented, and beautiful. Anyone who doesn't see that isn’t worth your time anymore. Myself included.”
She doesn’t reply. It’s almost overwhelming, the things he says to her; she sees kind things about her written in articles and posted online, but it sounds entirely different coming from his mouth. He continues, “That’s what I was trying to tell you the other day. You are worth it. And I’d like to prove it to you, if you let me.”
Their eyes meet, bodies unconsciously floating together. Anthony stays quiet, gauging her face for a reaction. The fear is still there, looming over her in a silent and constant threat, but blue eyes pierce through the veil and she focuses hard on them to push the rest away.
Then, she smiles. “Kiss me, you idiot.”
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mschievousx · 4 months
Text
now and then | b.b.
pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc, anthony bridgerton x ofc (platonic)
summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she love her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.
series masterlist
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prologue
she stirred awake with a grumble, as she does most days—which is immediately replaced with a grin after ten minutes of simply opening her eyes and staring at the ceiling. another day, another number of various things she can do. and so, she wasted no time to freshen herself up.
as she stepped out on the streets of grosvenor square, her immediate touch brought radiance to the place. no, she was not a smiling fool nor was she greeting everyone. it was not that type of radiance. she hated that. yet, one can argue the opposite when she finally arrived at the bridgerton's house.
"'tis a fine day, is it not?"
"raine!"
the girl jumped up, her book forgotten as she put it on the couch and hugged the girl who's standing with open arms under the arch to their drawing room.
"oh, how i have missed you, eloise!"
"why do you both act like you were not together the entirety of yesterday?" colin voiced out as he read the newspaper, not bothering with any greetings. they have all long passed that. eloise sent a glare to her brother just as their mother arrived.
"loraine, darling!" she took the young lady's cheeks in delight, "how are you and your father?"
she smiled warmly at that. violet took it to herself to act as her mother-figure, given that their families were closely tied, "never been better, lady bridgerton."
the older woman gave her a look at the use of her title before leading her to a couch near the fireplace.
"are you well-prepared for tomorrow's start of the season?"
━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━
"are you well-prepared for tomorrow's start of the season?
violet smiled as she asked her second-eldest daughter. eloise is well-prepared, she knew, in terms of physical and material aspects. internally, however, her daughter was having a fit, both of nervousness and fury.
"mama, i am very much prepared, but you should know that i am calling for all miracles right now so that i cannot attend tomorrow."
raine laughed, saying it's a good thing she's much prepared at the very least. her friend turned to her with a look of betrayal.
"you will be this next year, and i thought we're gonna be spinsters together!"
"no, that was penelope." she said as she stood up and dusted her dress, "when my season comes, i would very much like to marry, especially to that man dabbling on his pad."
she gestured with a head tilt to the man sitting near colin. they all need not turn to know who she was referring to as eloise rolled her eyes. raine chuckled at her reaction before another voice graced the room. well, not exactly grace.
"ugh, it's too early to deal with you."
violet turned to her eldest and immediately closed her eyes with a sigh before giving him a pointed look.
"anthony, it's already nine, and don't be rude."
the young lady turned to the source of the voice and grinned in an instant, clasping both her hands together in chest level sweetly, "i have missed you so much, anthony!"
"i don't share the sentiment." he replied with nonchalance as he took a biscuit and sat by his younger brothers.
"anthony will be marrying this season."
she paused for a moment, as if processing, before she broke out with laughter as she heard the words marry and anthony in the same sentence, but noticing the silence around her, she turned back to violet, "no... seriously?"
"why does it come as a surprise to everyone?" the man in question grumbled. raine finds herself nearing the eldest.
"but why the sudden change?"
anthony sighed as he swallowed the biscuit on his hand, "it probably has not come to your little mind that this family needs a viscountess. a viscountess is a lady that—"
"shush," he's lucky that's the only thing he got from her, given that she is to become a viscountess herself next year and he was mansplaining. she looked up in glee and clasped her hands again with true joy this time, "oh, i'm going to have so much fun this season!"
violet thinks that anthony and raine is a great pair and she would have been pushing for it already, had raine not been in love with benedict.
━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━
"as much as i love you, lady bridgerton, i do not want to talk about anything with relation to my societal season and marriages."
kate and anthony entered the room, just in time for the debutante's antics. the matriarch sighed at the apparent lack of interest from the girl, while the latter broke into the widest grin.
"i would, however, welcome the conversation if i'm paired with benedict."
she turned to her other side where lies the subject, both of the topic and her affections, "speaking of which, will you marry me now, ben?"
the second-eldest son did not open his eyes from the sleepless nap he was having as a boyish smile made its way to his lips, "not a chance."
"ah, what a shame." she smiled at the sight of him before turning back to his mother with a clap, "well, there's always tomorrow."
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skyrigel · 3 months
Text
Obsessed with you 11
Part 1 | Part 2
Pairing: Benedict bridgerton x afab! reader
Synopsis: Ton's most eligible bachelor makes a move, oh dear ! An offer by the gentleman.
Warning: no description of reader, reader's last name is Rose for convenience ( used only twice ) internal conflict, mutual pinning but it's secret on reader's part, Benedict being an absolute tease, touchy Benedict, fluff and humour, reader's mother has some issues, resentment feelings for love, alcoholism ( blink and you miss it ) please read it !! ( No Polin, kathony in this chapter)
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Dearest gentle readers,
This author believes desire to be a spectrum, and while longing, passion, lust and love are often known, i would ask, ' have you ever seen obsession ? ' it is rather very tempting.
It is not I, but the moon that basked in the sky last night who whispered, and i simply convey. There's been an offer made by the gentleman. Tempting, is it not ?
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The next morning...
" How was your evening ? "
You coughed, grasping your throat as Mrs. Turner immediately patted your back, helping you with water.
Your mother's gaze was usually unfocused and clouded but even so, it was terrifying enough when she narrowed them at you.
" Fine." You said, feeling your chest burn, " It was very pleasant."
" That's amazing dearest." She turned back to her plate, untouched as it was, she hardly ate sometimes, you looked away, blinking.
" Ma'am, shall we expect any caller ? " Mrs. Turner asked your mother, but the question was solely directed to you.
" Indeed." Mama drank, her third glass of wine," she's very good girl." She added, raising her empty glass, her eyes stinging with moisteness.
" She is." Mrs. Turner smiled, you dropped your gaze back to your breakfast, staring hard. Oh god, what have you done ?
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While waiting for a caller...
If Mrs. Turner noticed your panic, she said nothing and darkest part of you wondered if she was enjoying it actually.
" Your mother will be so disappointed if you have no caller today." Mary sighed, you winced internally, feeling sudden urge to just run and run until everything inside you crumbled and withered away.
" C'mon ! " Mary moaned, nudging you on your arm, "you're scaring me like that, say something."
" I don't know." You turned to her, pulling a straight face " suggest something lady Mariam." Mary groaned, you giggled, remembering how your sister used to, in every pain, in every nightmare.
Gissele joked all the times, her sharp wits and biting humour was something you always looked up at, you always wanted to be her because nothing touched her, she never cried, never baffled, her laughter still echoed sometimes in your head. But when night came and so did fear and darkness, on one such you tip tooed to her room, frozen at the soft sobs that were muffled by the pillow.
The jokes weren't funny anymore.
" Oh i wish—" whatever Mary wished was drowned by Mrs. Turner who entered the room with a undignified frown directed to you both , her eyes sharpening with unspoken disdain. Mary sat up straighter, abandoning her usual hunching and slouching.
" You have a caller miss." Mrs. Turner annouced, " Mr. Benedict bridgerton." She said, her mouth bitter with loathing.
You half registered her resentment before a shrilly strangled noise escaped your throat, mind swirling with last night memories that you were still not accepting to be true, you told Mary everything except the offer from the gentleman, or perhaps it wasn't a offer at all. A demand.
" Oh no." Mary gasped, you weren't sure if you had nodded or said anything but Mrs. Turner left, her mouth clasped close, brow knitted.
" What should I do ? " You bited your lip, panic settling, you remembered too well how bolting Benedict made you feel, the feel of his lips pressed against your skin. It was too endearing, a feeling that was too close to flying, soaring high but also to falling, down and down till there's nothing holding you but gravity, Benedict made you skip your heartbeats then become it's very muse.
" Be yourself. Didn't you say that to me ? "
Mary deadpanned, sensing your dread, she tried again,
" We can still run away, the window's open—" Mary stood upright, turning towards the fireplace when Benedict came. He was holding flowers, almost all kinds, his eyes twinkled as he raked his gaze upon you, smiling.
" Good morning, miss Rose." He bowed, at first to you, handling your flowers and you were gone the moment his fingers brushed against you, but it was then you realised there were two bouquets.
" Lady Mariam Turner." Benedict's smile grew wicked, you were sure to heard Mary mumbling something very blasphemous before she turned around, her face red.
" A very good morning, Mr. Bridgerton." She bowed, her eyes shut. You were paralyzed, feeling your skin still buzzing.
" C'mon, don't stand too much ladies, you might get tired." He purred, clapping his hand as he sat down next to you the couch, Mary and you shared a look before you sat back, she followed on the other one.
" Why did you come ? " You said, feeling your throat getting rigid, considering how Mary sighed, it was the worst possible thing to say to your caller, it didn't matter.
" Well, I was going to meet you mother and ask for your hand in marriage today but since she's sick and confined to her chambers, I shall do it tomorrow." You gaped at him, no matter how much you convinced yourself that it was just a dream, in no hell it could be now, his sincere eyes were most dazzling and despite the smirk that lit up his whole face, there was no ounce of humour.
" That's.." you shaked your head, don't think about his mouth, stop, stop, stop—
" Very kind." Mary was equally baffled, but you knew what a tease she would be to you later, if only you survived now.
" Thankyou lady Turner." Benedict smiled to her, bowing again, his teeths showing and Mary's ear blazed and she looked away, chortling under her breath.
" I am sorry about yesterday." You weren't sure how you could offended him but it didn't matter, you would be doomed if anyone knew of the lunacy you pulled last night.
Benedict deepened his gaze but said nothing, he slowly descended to your collarbone and heat crept up your spine. You shifted back, baffled at the tightening in your guts.
" I shall leave you to talking." Mary stood up, motioning towards the shelves and shelves of books.
" You don't read." You hissed at her, she sticked out her tongue tip and was gone, sparing few glances in between.
" I like her." Benedict said, you noticed that he was much closer. It surely wasn't a trick of your mind.
" Why are you doing this ? " You asked him, because you would be damned if it were another of his flirtings, another way to entertain himself. A frown crossed his jolly face and it didn't look like it belonged there.
" Forgive me if I had not made that clear." He said, his eyes softened when he looked at you, " I want to marry you." Oh.
No, no, you told yourself, didn't what Mrs. Turner said, he liked them of class, he has no honour when it comes to corrupt young ladies—
" You don't even know me." You said, voice small and frail.
" As much as I know you, you are kind, gentle and affectionate. Your beauty however is yet another muse of mine, i tried so hard, to trap you in canvas and colours but I couldn't do any justice, for you were simply ethereal in your own orbit. " He said, " but I would like to know all of you, every layer, every facade...you are the most extraordinary person i have ever met."
You wouldn't believe him, no matter how bright his eyes shine and how true every word feels, no, you wouldn't make the mistake Gissele made. Words, stupid words.
" We danced, only one time."
" It was enough." He reached out and kept his hand over yours, it was then your realised how badly your hands were trembling.
You didn't pull away, you knew how you would break down if you had to. You held onto him, not that you trusted him, no.
" Listen love, " love, He said it so softly, you were so doomed, " The moment our eyes locked I knew you had bewitched me, everything inside me longed for you...and..I knew it's silly but I thought i would die if I didn't see you again and when I did, I knew there was no life worth living it it's not with you."
" Those are just words." You looked away, instead focusing your eyes on Mary on the other end of the room, pretending to read a book, it was upside down.
" Yes, they are." He agreed, " so that's why I am here to make them actions, I fancy you so much that it sometimes scares—"
" Then don't, love shouldn't be scary." You remembered all those letters in Gissele's room, talking about love this, love that, ending with love you's, but what then ?
Benedict chuckled, like you weren't bashing him. he squeezed your hand gently. His fingers sliding through the dips of your knuckles, like moulded for each other. Stop.
" Love's not scary, it can be when you think about losing them, I was last night when I thought you wouldn't show up. That I would never see you again...no, I was terrified."
" You knew." You turned to him, he was practically hopping as he caught your gaze, every desire crawling out to you, screaming your name.
" I did." He confirmed, you raised your brow in question, " I would recognise you anywhere." He said simply and just like that you believed him.
You felt your face warming, heat shooting up in flames, Benedict seemed amused as his other hand, the one not making stars on your wrist came to caress your cheek. His lips parted when he felt your warmness, then he smiled, a knowing one.
" What if I nothing that you have assumed me to be ? " You weren't sure why you asked him that, perhaps it was the last letter you burnt before your elder sister could read it.
...Gis, this is not what we agreed on, this is not you, not the Gissele i knew. Please stop claiming it to be mine, we didn't even go that further, stop spreading these sour rumours that could filth my name...
" I adore all of you, every bit and every mole, i don't think there's any choice for me, it's just... there's no proof but you just know...I knew it, it's you, miss Rose. It was always going to be you."
You nodded, not sure if you could speak anything, feeling your heart thud louder and louder with each word that he spoke, every curve of his mouth and you could slowly feel time stoping.
That was the moment Mrs. Turner took to came, you yanked your hand back but Benedict wasn't much interested and his whine was quite visible.
" Mr. Bridgerton, Would you like lemon cakes, our cook is quite famous for it ? " Benedict looked at the refreshments that was left untouched except the biscuit that Mary nicked while on her way to 'reading' books upside down.
" As much I am very fond of it, i would have to say no. Me and miss Rose fancied a walk around the gardens."
Mrs. Turner looked accusingly at you and you shrugged, Benedict ignored all of that.
" Pleasant weather, is it not ? "
Mrs. Turner perched her lips, smiling that was mere curtsy. Oh god, what are you Benedict bridgerton ? Why are you so obsessed with me ?
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By the secret gardens, with Mr. Bridgerton...
" Lady Mariam, alright ? " Benedict turned back to Mary who walked few steps behind you and him.
" Yes my Mr. Bridgerton." She said, slowing even more, she wasn't even trying to be good chaperone. Benedict praised her for it.
" That's my hand." You grasped your skirt before Benedict could hold it, for god sake, people were watching.
" Oops." Benedict apologised, not being sorry at all, his smile widening. You kept your eyes ahead.
" So would you say yes when I will propose ? " Benedict asked this, indirectly for the third time since the walk, he was rather good with words, he was also good at painting as much as you had heard and— stop, stop, stop.
" Haven't you already proposed ? " You stopped, he did too, cocking his head sideways.
" Yes indeed I have and I meant it." He admitted, " I was talking about the one where I am on my knees."
You weren't going to think about that, absolutely not, in no scandalous way. His thighs would look very erotic. Shit.
"No."
" You're lying." He scoffed. Yes you were, not that securing a proposal this season was your absolute ultimatum. Your mother wasn't cruel, she never was, but she was very paranoid and it was more crueler sometimes.
But marrying Benedict wouldn't be your escape or security, because you knew you would love him, whatever that was and if you could hate yourself for it then so it be.
The fate and destiny Benedict said, the way he just knew and who were you lying to ?
Didn't you touched him and got so electrified that you knew nothing would ever be same again, say it, go on. Lie, lie again but swear it if you didn't lock eyes with him and wished to just get lost and never be found. Wasn't it the night of the masquerade ball when you were truly alive for the first time in so long, giggling and free, dancing with your hands tied. Go on, lie.
" You wish." Benedict laughed on that, rich and beautiful and enough to make you hide your face as it went crimson.
" Lady—" he bagan to turn, you grabbed his elbow, jerking him to you, very unladylike.
" Stop teasing her." You leaned towards him and while you were in no position to talk about flustering but damn, Benedict was knocked out of his breath. You smiled, it was truly inevitable not to.
" I like to."
" Mean."
" That's very unladylike to insult your husband to be." Benedict said, recovering, all his smugness on full display. You let go of his arm, bending to take a pebble.
" Husband ? " You tossed a pebble off the lake, hoping to blame the rosiness that bloomed your cheeks on the sun.
" Yes wifey ? " Benedict ducked his head, like a puppy with stars in his eyes. He was so beautiful, why did he have to be like this ?
" Don't call me that." Please, very much call me that, it makes me blush, please, please.
" Then what should I call you ? " Benedict asked, before you could answer him, his arm grasped your waist, pulling you to him in a sudden moment. Wish you could say you immediately pulled away but that would be a lie. You melted in his embrace, eyes shut, a soft rhythmic music, it was his heart beats, you listened.
" Pebble." Benedict whispered down in your ear, you nodded once, pulling away hesitantly. He wasn't sure but let go of your elbow at last, his cheeks pink with blood.
" Should I call you Mrs.Bridgerton ? "
" Aren't there going to be three Mrs. Bridgertons ? "
Benedict bumped your nose on that, laughing while you frowned. He ought to stop touching you before you do something awfully stupid.
.... you're not stupid Gissele...
" Well ofcourse, yes. I see you're stalking me." Benedict winked, you eye rolled, something inside you shivering, a knot in your stomach loosening.
" Everyone knows that."
" Hmmph." Benedict hummed, " but you ought to know more wifey."
" Ofcourse Husband." You tried and was rewarded with Benedict missing a step, he smiled, a lopsided grin, recovering soon he turned to you.
" I wished to make you a wedding gift."
You knew he didn't even made a formal proposal to your mother but even so every word felt truer than life, for once you let go of what would happen, if he would break your heart then so be it, if you die bleeding then let it be that way, but you want to be alive, for once, just be alive.
" That's very kind of you."
Benedict tucked a strand of hair behind your hair, smiling his brightest smile.
You looked back at Mary who grinned back with a dangerous glint in her eyes.
" Obsessed." She mouthed, you shaked your head, smiling to yourself, very well.
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Rigel's note 🪩 : I hope it was good, I am bit struck in life :( also can anyone make a banner, please ? I mean i would do it myself but I am so so slumped up right now and lack skills too <3 also thank-you for leaving cute cute asks and replies and messages!!! I am so thankful to write for wonderful dearest readers like you, love you <3
Join taglist to be updated :)
Taglist ( <333 ) : @imgondeletedis @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @mayusenpai666 @toeoffrog @alyyaana @rebeccawinters
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dianesdiaries · 3 months
Text
first day, nervous? | Homelander x Y/n
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-Homelander is introduced to his newest assistant after Ashley went AWOL, and Y/n's expectations were more then she knew
-Soft foreplay/tension
NOTE: this is a draft so I might finish it later!!
"Hey, you're finally here! Took long enough".
His teeth creaked into a wide smile, almost as forced as the wide floor-to ceiling doors that ringed in my ears. I shuffled quietly towards the curved slim table, as the slender man ran his fingers along the rims. Blonde silky streaks ran through his hair, his eyes squinted as he pushed his strands back. Homelander was a peculiar choice for a leader. As I sat down and watched him glide around the table, he leaned daringly close into my presence. "So what made you decide Vought? I checked your resume you know, you seem pretty-under qualified. Sorry", Homelander chuckled away the awkwardness of his sentence. It was pretty clear he thought I didn't have the brains for it. "Well", I pushed my glasses back into my face, avoiding the gaze of the daring supe. "I've been in association with many government institutions and have worked for-"
"Blahhh Blahhhh"
It took a minute for me to take in his approach. So far, in the past six minutes we've gotten to know each other I can already see how 'bright' my future will be at Vought. "I want the real truth. Everybody comes here looking for fucking power- whether they have it or not. So, again. Why are you here?" he asked, his voice became stern as he ran his fingers across my shoulders. My body bolted at the feeling, his gloves curving along my collar. The one thing I could be sure on was his need for praise. He wanted me to tell him how great he was. He needed to hear exactly what I thought of him so he knew how to approach me. And he found exactly how. By fear.
I chuckled nervously, "Well, I-uh.. Was looking for a new job because I guess I got tired of the same... form after form stuff, you know?", sweat leaked like a tap from my temples, streaking through the bright curtains that swayed back and forth. Homelander dove into the next chair, quickly spinning mine to face him. My legs became entrapped between his, his arms leaning between my seat. "I think.. You'll find just what you're looking for here. Besides.. you work for me. Right?", his eyes asserted a cold shiver through my body. "That's right, sir". "And you'll do whatever I say?", the air became still with his words. my breaths encased into my cavity, the struggle to find wiggle room became worse. Of course he's my boss but.. God, he was so close. I bit my lip at the careless thought of us, I'd already had fallen for what he had planned before I walked into that room.
"Yes sir".
"Anything?", curiosity sparked in his words as he leaned closer, his hands barely caressing between my legs.
"Yes, sir", the yearning in my voice grew louder, my back arching to the sharp feeling of his fingers climbing inside my shirt. His lips pressed into mine, his passive hand making its way through my pencil-tight skirt. The soft hum of his grunts buzzed against my lips, it drove me crazy. He knew exactly what I wanted. He knew the words to say. He felt my heart pace before I had the chance to sit down. An unpredictable supe is never good news, so why do I want it so bad?
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bumblesimagines · 4 months
Text
The Clouds and The Stars
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Request: Yes or No
Sequel one shot to The Sun and Moon!
Pronouns: He/Him/His
~~~
Married life... such a curious thing. Many grew up with an expectation as to how it would be, mostly based on their own parents' relationship. There were the happy parents who formed a love match and loved each other with their whole hearts. There were the friendly parents who were more friends than partners but still cared for one another. Then, there were the saddening parents who either due to a forced marriage or perhaps because of time grew to despise each other, only tolerating each other for the sake of their children whom they unknowingly harm with their arguments and jabs. 
(Y/N) grew up with friendly parents. Lucy and Henry had ended their respective social seasons by marrying under the guise of being madly in love in order to chase after what they truly wanted, even if their desires had to be kept behind closed doors and only exposed to trusted individuals. Secrecy had always been a part of his life, even when it involved marriage, and he supposed now, as he lied in bed and watched the sun peek through the curtains, he'd truly followed in his parents' footsteps. At least, however, he'd found someone. Found more than one, in fact. 
"Love," (Y/N) couldn't help but smile as Anthony sighed into his ear, his muscular arm tightening around him and pulling him closer to his chest. Anthony buried his face in the crook of his neck and inhaled deeply, lips pressing against his skin before he hooked his chin over (Y/N)'s shoulder. He gently nudged him, a soft grunt leaving him when (Y/N) remained still. "Love."
"What is it?" (Y/N) chuckled and finally shifted, moving onto his back and peering up at Anthony when he propped himself up onto his elbow. Anthony smiled at him, cheeky and pleased, one hand moving to cup his face and rub his thumb soothingly over his cheek, a warm twinkle in his dark eyes. (Y/N) felt his skin flush under such an adoring gaze. 
"I simply wished to see my husband's beautiful face, is all." Anthony cooed, and (Y/N) smile widened tenfold, a bashful and breathy laugh escaping him. They weren't married to each other, not legally or in the eyes of the church at least, but in their hearts and to their families they were. Many in the ton suspected but with Queen Charlotte's silence and Lady Whistledown calling their dance together a 'much-needed change for such dreary balls', anyone with suspicions or beliefs remained silent. Of course, they still had to remain a secret, lest someone grew annoyed enough to reach out to the church. 
"Such a charmer, Anthony." (Y/N) spoke teasingly, sighing softly against Anthony's mouth when he swooped down to kiss him. Anthony pressed harder against his lips and fully rolled over, laying ontop of the painter and only pulling away to trail kisses down his jawline and to his neck. Always so hungry, so needy and clingy. "Anthony, we have things to do-"
"They can wait," Anthony murmured against his skin, one hand slipping under his shirt while the other took his hand and locked their fingers together. (Y/N) rolled his eyes and released a breathy laugh, breath nearly hitching when Anthony needily rolled his hips. "We have time."
"It's an important day, Anthony. Francesca will need her brother today, you know." (Y/N) reminded him, dipping his fingers beneath Anthony's chin and gripping it lightly so he could tilt his head up. Anthony sighed dramatically, putting his full weight down on him and bringing their intertwined hands toward his face, a gentle kiss pressing against the back of (Y/N)'s hand. (Y/N) smiled.
"Suppose we should be quick, then." Anthony grinned mischievously, his free hand pushing up (Y/N)'s shirt and head dipping to pepper kisses along his stomach. 
"Anthony!" (Y/N) tried not to laugh too loudly, mindful of those still slumbering in the nearby rooms. He could hear the maids and servants bustling around, likely readying the house and preparing breakfast. Such a big day for the Bridgerton family again, and yet, there lied the Viscount, acting like a hormonal boy all over again. (Y/N) swatted at his shoulder and pushed himself up but it only prompted Anthony's head to dip even lower. "Anthony Bridgerton!"
Releasing a muffled laugh, Anthony finally relented and sat back, his hand still keeping an iron grip on (Y/N)'s no matter how hard the painter trying to pull back. (Y/N) groaned again in fake annoyance that only made Anthony giggle like a child and reach out to pull him onto his lap. He leaned in, pressing their lips together again. (Y/N) melted against him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, squeezing Anthony's hand and feeling his fingers tighten even more. 
"If only-" (Y/N) leaned back, briefly interrupted when Anthony pecked his lips again. "-you put this much effort into having an heir with Steph." 
"Mm, I've been busy and she seems more than content with her... lady friends," Anthony said, nuzzling his face into (Y/N)'s chest. "If you'd been a lady, I'm certain you'd be expecting by now." 
"Yes, I'm aware. You've made that abundantly clear, Lord Bridgerton. I don't understand how you can have this much stamina." (Y/N) shook his head with a soft laugh, sweetly kissing the top of his head and exhaling softly. "But, I am not a lady nor your wife, Anthony. You need an heir. I'm sure it won't take too many attempts."
"And what of you and Kate? I'm sure you nor she will have this difficulty if you try for children of your own. We have each other's blessings, you know. If you'd like to have a child-"
"We've been breaching the topic, actually." (Y/N) revealed, finally untangling his hand from Anthony's and rising up from the bed, searching for the clothes he kept in Anthony's home for days he spent the night. Because of their predicament regarding Anthony's position as Viscount and their inability to wed publicly or have children, both men agreed to take on brides. Stephanie provided the perfect candidate for Viscountess and (Y/N) had always held affection for Kate. "She's more than happy to have children. She thinks two is a good number, in fact, so they have someone to keep them company."
"How many do you think Steph will want?" Anthony sighed, standing up as well to get dressed.
"Well, if you have a boy first... I think you'll both be content with just one." (Y/N) chuckled, slipping his coat on and adjusting the ends of it while Anthony began taking clothes out of the closet. The thought of parenthood, of fatherhood, hung over the two of them, both exciting and nerve-wracking. The four of them would care for the children together, that'd already been agreed upon, but still... bringing life into the world? It made (Y/N) queasy yet... pleased. 
"If you and I could have children," Anthony whistled sharply, a grin spreading across his face and fingers swiftly buttoning up his shirt. "We'd have a bigger brood than Mother." 
"I don't doubt it." (Y/N) retrieved Anthony's coat from its spot draped over the armrest and approached him, helping him slip his arms through and adjusting it for him. He smiled, finishing the last button of his shirt and fixing the collar before tugging Anthony closer to kiss him. "You're insatiable, Anthony."
"Only for you." Anthony cooed, gearing up to lean in again but the sound of the door opening made him pause.
Stephanie dramatically gasped at the sight of them, lifting a hand to her head and fanning herself rapidly. "Oh, Kate, what ever will we do? How could they do this to us?" She gasped again, a teasing smile stretching across her face as Kate giggled and gently nudged her and walked further into the room. (Y/N) rolled his eyes at Stephanie but smiled widely at Kate, pulling away from Anthony to extend his arms out toward her. 
"My darling wife." He greeted warmly, coiling his arms around her waist and planting a kiss between her brows. Kate hummed softly, leaning her head down to rest it on his shoulder. Stephanie stopped at Anthony's side, taking a quick look over his clothes before nodding approvingly and curling her arm around his. 
"Shall we get to it? Breakfast is ready and Violet has been fretting over Francesca nonstop. She's worried about the poor girl." Stephanie told them and Anthony sighed heavily, leaning over to kiss (Y/N)'s temple and nod to Kate. The Viscount and Viscountess fell into conversation and exited the room, leaving Kate and (Y/N) alone. 
"So, my darling husband," Kate began with a small laugh, lifting her head and smoothing out his shirt with her palms, her keen eyes searching for anything out of place before rising to look him in the eye. She smiled, pecking his cheek. "We have a long day ahead of us, as you know. Ready for this social season?"
"As long as I have you and Anthony and Steph, I'll always be ready."
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livingdreams97 · 6 months
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Eloise Bridgerton - "The Prince" (Part 4)
Eloise Bridgerton x Male reader/oc
Summary: Two people who have never seen each other before, with the same need and desire to be free in different ways. What could come of that when both people meet each other?
Words: 4.581
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Eloise's POV
A couple of hours ago my family arrived at Aubrey Hall and my youngest silings were running around the place like wild animals. My brothers have disappeared and Daphne is with mother, Lady Danbury, Kate and Edwina talking about the season somewhere around the house.
Which left me alone, sitting on an outdoor chair in the mansion's back garden and somewhat bored.
I did not want to participate in the conversation with my sister, mother and others; since the subject does not really interest me. I'd rather be with my brothers, but as soon as we set foot in Aubrey Hall two hours ago they disappeared and have shown no sign of life.
And I'm not going to be running all over the place, like Gregory and Hyacinth were doing.
I just pray that something interesting happens and it can keep me busy at least for a while. Because if this goes on like this, I'll end up cutting myself with the pages of my books and falling apart in the living room floor.
Apparently my prayers are answered, when one of the butlers appears and speaks to me.
XY: Miss Bridgerton, Prince Y/n of Hannover has just arrived and is waiting for you in the hall.- he informed me and I practically jumped out of my seat.
Eloise: That's great. - I comment happily and walking quickly towards the entrance of the mansion.
XY: If you don't need anything else, we'll take the prince's objects to his room assigned by Lady Bridgerton.- he comments when we reach the hall.
Eloise: We don't need anything else, thank you.- I thank him and after a slight bow he takes Y/n's luggage along with another man. -I thought you were never going to get there.- I say amused, crossing my arms and looking at the prince.
Y/n: I had a slight setback.- He informed me without much detail.
Eloise: What kind of setback? - I ask curiously, seeing the amusement in his eyes.
Y/n: One that doesn't concern you.- he answers me with grace and I just look at him badly. -Now, will you grant me the wish to give me a guided tour of the mansion or do I have to ask someone from the service?- he asks amused, raising an eyebrow and looking me straight in the eye.
Eloise: Ask someone from the service.- I answer challengingly, looking for a fun and entertaining reaction from him.
Y/n: I'll do that then.- he assures, leaning over and trying to walk towards the stairs.
Eloise: Where do you think you're going? - I ask amused running towards him and grabbing his arm to stop him.
Y/n: To ask if someone offers to give me a guided tour, since a certain Bridgerton doesn't want to and I don't want to get lost in the place.- he answers humorously and I look at him with narrowed eyes.
Eloise: Idiot.- I muttered hitting his arm. -Now follow me.- I order him and start walking towards the main hall.
I don't turn to see if he's following me or not, but I can hear his hurried footsteps and I smile helplessly, not knowing the reason for said smile.
POV Y/n
I don't know when I went from receiving a tour of the mansion to being in the huge back garden playing pall mall, but here I am now.
Daphne: We all know how the pall mall works.- she assures everyone present. - The first to choose the deck and strike first will be our guest Y/n.- she points to me with her hand and I look at her surprised.
Y/n: I guess thanks.- I appreciate it. -Which one does Eloise usually choose?- I asked Benedict in a whisper quickly.
Benedict: Yellow.- he whispers back to me with his hand in front of his mouth so that no one notices.
I nod surreptitiously and walk over to where all the decks are. I look at each deck and once my eyes land on the yellow one, I reach out without hesitation.
As my fingers wrap around the wood, I look up, meeting Eloise's blue gaze. I smile wickedly as I raised the mallet and I see the scowl on her face.
Y/n: Yellow is my favorite color. - I lie with a smile without taking my eyes off Eloise's.
The rest practically fight over the rest of the decks, before we start the game and the fights between the brothers are present.
Benedict: Eloise don't cheat.- he accuses his sister, who is moving her ball subtly and secretly with her foot.
Y/n: So besides being clumsy at dancing, you're a cheater at the game. - I whisper leaning towards her, so that only she can hear me.
Eloise: Shut up.- she growls at me pushing my chest with her hand.
Colin: Observe and learn people.- he says, positioning himself and hitting the ball with his mallet, but it doesn't go through the hoop.
Anthony: Sorry, what were you saying?- he asks his brother with an amused smile.
Kate: Don't you laugh so much.- she tells her husband, causing a bad face in him and laughter in the rest.
Daphne: None of you should laugh.- she assures everyone, preparing to her his ball with the mallet. -Because I plan to win as always.- she says confidently, hitting the ball and getting it through the hoop.
Benedict: Hey, I'm still in the game.- he reminds his sister with an amused smile.
Eloise: And me.- she assures them placing herself in the middle of everyone. -This year I plan to win.- she tells us all with confidence and I can't help but smile at her confidence.
We continue playing for a while longer, until the game ends and I end up winning to the surprise of everyone present. Although there is no surprise on my part, since I am a very good player and I am passionate about sports.
Y/n: And how about your victory Eloise? - I ask her amused while we all have dinner together.
Eloise: Very funny.- she says sarcastically looking at me with narrowed eyes. -But I know you cheated.- she threatens me seriously.
Y/n: And can you explain to me what cheating are you accusing me of? - I ask her amused, taking a sip of my wine.
Elosie: I don't know, yet.- she answered thoughtfully. -But I'm going to find out how you cheated to win and take away my victory.- she asures me and I just smile delighted.
Y/n: I'll be waiting then.- I assure her with a friendly smile.
The rest of dinner is spent talking to Benedict and Colin about minor trivia. We also make sure to taunt Eloise a bit, loud enough for her to hear us so we can tease her a bit.
When dinner is over, I sneak up to Lady Bridgerton and ask to speak to her in private. We entered the main library of the mansion and we both took a seat in the armchairs of the room.
Violet: And tell me my Lord, what is the reason for this conversation? - she asks me with evident interest.
Y/n: I wanted to talk about a serious and more important topic with you.- I answer trying to hide my nervousness.
Violet: Well, you will say.- she nods giving me the floor.
Y/n: As you may have noticed, I've been spending a lot of time with your daughter and it's clear that we've become somewhat close.- I start seeing how she nods with a small smile. -And I don't want to disrespect you or your family at any time.- I say trying to think of how to explain myself.
Violet: And you haven't.- she assures me with a friendly smile.
Y/n: I'm glad to hear that.- I nod with a nervous smile. -That's why I wanted to talk to you first, because you are Eloise's mother and it seemed the most appropriate thing to do in this situation.- I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. -I wanted to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage.- I ask directly.
Violet: Oh my god! - she exclaims in surprise, covering her mouth with her hand.
The room remains completely silent for a few moments, where I play with my hands as a sign of nervousness and uncertainty about the response of the woman in front of me.
Y/n: So what do you say? - I ask her a bit uncomfortable by the silence.
Violet: Of course I'll give you my daughter's hand.- she nods energetically. -As long as Eloise agrees to the proposition, I have nothing against it.- she confirms and I can't help but release the air retained inside me.
Y/n: I'm glad to know that your answer is positive. - I smile letting the retained nerves dissipate from my body.
Now I just have to propose to Eloise publicly and organize the wedding. Since thanks to our agreement, I know that Eloise will agree to marry me and there will be no problem with that part.
Violet: And you already have chosen the ring? - She asks me interested, leaning forward in a show of interest.
Y/n: Yes.- I nod, taking the black velvet box out of my pocket. -What do you think?- I ask, opening the box and showing her the object inside.
Violet: Oh my god, it's so precious.- she whispers, taking the small box in her hands and looking at the ring in greater detail.
Y/n: My aunt gave it to me to propose to your daughter.- I comment, seeing the surprise in her eyes.
Violet: Has the queen chosen the ring for my daughter?- she asks surprised.
Y/n: More than that.- I commented with a slight smile. -That ring was one of the first that my uncle, the King, gave to my aunt many years ago. The emerald is my aunt's favorite stone and she thought that the ring had a deep meaning, so it would be the perfect ring for my future wife. - I tell her and I can see a different shine in her eyes.
Violet: And she's right. Rings with meaning are more unique than any recently bought. - she nods, giving me back the box with the ring.
Y/n: So with your permission, tomorrow I'll ask Eloise for her hand. - I nod, putting the velvet box back in my jacket pocket.
Violet: I just hope my daughter says yes, because it would be a pleasure to have you as part of the family.- she tells me and we both get up, ending the conversation.
We left the library, saying goodnight and parting ways. I head towards the bedroom assigned to me and on the way I meet Eloise with her little sister.
In order not to arouse any kind of suspicion, I wish them both a good night and secretly nod to my future fiancée.
I can see her eyes widen slightly as she realizes what my nod means and she gives me a slight nod letting me know she's understood.
Now I just have to think about how to ask for her hand tomorrow and do it in a way so that her family believes that we are really in love. But with how good of an actress Eloise is, I'm sure everyone will believe us right away without any problem.
Eloise's POV
I'm nervous. Why am I nervous? This is simply a trade and there is no reason to be nervous.
I just have to say a simple yes and the rest of my life will be taken care of. I will be completely free and I will stop feeling any kind of pressure to get married or find a husband. It is a simple word that will open all doors for me.
This is a simple transaction, there are no feelings involved and that's why I don't understand the reason for my nerves.
My hands tremble as they caress the soft fabric of my white dress, feeling the softness and delicacy of silk.
Violet: You look beautiful honey.- she whispers looking at my reflection in the mirror over my shoulder.
Eloise: I'm not going out. - I deny energetically.
Violet: And why is that dear? - she asks me interested with a smile on her face.
Eloise: I don't know if I'm ready to get married.- I answer, feeling my heart beat faster.
Violet: Oh dear.- she sighs placing her hands on my arms. -It's the nerves that are speaking.- she assures me caressing my arms with affection.
Eloise: Why would I be nervous? - I ask confused, feeling a certain amount of comfort from her touch.
Violet: Because it's one of the most important days for a woman, darling.- she answers with an understanding look. -The day of my wedding with your father, I was trembling with nerves and anticipation. It is understandable to feel nervous on your wedding day and especially when you love the person you will marry.- she tries to comfort me and I avoid opening my eyes for the last part.
Eloise: How did you know you loved father? - I ask a little scared by her answer.
Violet: I wouldn't know how to explain it.- she sighs with a slight grimace. -What I do know is that every time I thought of him, a smile appeared on my face without even noticing it, my stomach turned when he was near me, my skin quivered every time he touched my hand and every time that I was doing something i liked; immediately I wanted to share it with him.- she tells me and I remain thoughtful.
I think about the times when a smile adorned my face when I thought of Y/n, about how being with him makes me enjoy someone else's company and the long talks we have.
I think about how an essential warmth invades my body when he is near me, when he smiles at me or when he brings me books thinking that I might like them.
I find that every time I read a new book, I think about whether he would like to read it so we can discuss it together.
Finally, I am aware of how in the few times he has touched my hand and kissed it, my body reacts to his touch. I can remember the pleasant tingling that runs through my body at his touch and it is now when I open my eyes in surprise.
Eloise: I love Y/n.- I murmured without really knowing what to do.
I feel my mind go around and around without really knowing how it happened. At what point have I gone from supporting Y/n, accepting his proposal and maintaining a friendly relationship, to loving him.
Violet: Why else would you have agreed to marry him?- she asks with a certain degree of amusement in her tone of voice.
Eloise: I have to talk to Y/n.- I say alarmed.
Violet: You'll see him at the altar in a few minutes and then you can talk to him all you want.- she assures me with a smile.
Eloise: No mom .- I deny turning around and looking around upset. -I need to talk to him now!- I assured him in a hurry trying to dodge her and go looking for him.
Violet: No, no, no.- she denies grabbing my arm and preventing me from leaving the room. -The groom can't see the bride before the wedding.- she immediately denies.
Eloise: You don't understand mom, I have to talk to him.- I beg desperately and a few seconds away from a desperate cry.
Violet: Honey, calm down.- she asks me, caressing my arms again. -Take a deep breath and inhale slowly.- she orders me and I nod trying to regulate my breathing.
Once I am calmer, my mother takes me to the sofa in one of the many rooms in the palace and makes me sit down.
Violet: Are you feeling better?- she asks me and I nod, taking a deep breath once more.
Eloise: Yes.- I murmur directing my gaze to my hands, which are still trembling and apparently my mother notices as she places her hands on mine.
Violet: You don't have to get upset darling, everything will be fine and you don't have to get so nervous.- she assures me. -You're just nervous, just breathe and try to relax.- she tells me and I nod trying to stop my hands from shaking.
We stay in silence for a few minutes, where I manage to calm down enough so that my hands stop shaking.
Some light knocks are heard at the door of the room and Benedict's head appears through it.
Benedict: Everything is ready.- he tells us entering the room. -They are waiting for the bride.- he says with a smile and I take a deep breath.
Violet: Are you ready? - she asks me and I am only able to nod. -Well then, let's get going.- she says getting up from the sofa and helping me to get up too.
I walk to where my brother is, who immediately smiles at me and gives me his arm to intertwine with mine.
With each step I take toward the ceremony room, my heart pounding in my ears and my breathing becoming heavy. I swallow heavily, when my brother stops in front of the closed living room doors and looks at me for approval.
I stay for a few moments watching the big white doors of the room, as soon as they open everything will be real and I'll be walking towards my future husband.
I don't know what to do.
If I go through with the plan and say yes, I'll be marrying the man I love. But he doesn't love me and it doesn't seem fair.
And on the other hand, if I decide to run away and leave the plan behind, everyone will start talking about me and my family again. My family has already suffered a lot with the rumors and above all thanks to me.
Plus it wouldn't be the first time a Bridgerton wedding has been called off and we all know how that ended.
But that is not the worst.
The worst thing is that this time the queen is not only the hostess of the wedding, but she is the aunt of the future husband and that will cause me to be banished from London.
Because what Lady Whistledown wrote about me being a political radical turned her against me and made her have a bad opinion of me. I don't want to imagine the opinion she'll have of me if I leave her heir standing at the altar.
Benedict: Are you okay? - he asks me in a whisper taking me out of my thoughts.
Eloise: I don't know.- I answer honestly.
Benedict: It's not too late, you know right? - he asks me causing me to look at him confused.
Eloise: Late for what? - I ask wanting to understand what my brother tells me.
Benedict: Too late to cancel the wedding.- he answers me with a comforting smile. -Just tell me and we'll run away like no one has ever done before.- he assures me with a small laugh.
I watch him for a few seconds, considering the offer and weighing every possible outcome of my escape. The idea sounds tempting and I'm sure Benedict will defend me and help with everything.
You're POV
I swallow heavily, running my hands through my morning coat and wiping the sweat from my hands. I watch the guests talk to each other in whispers, causing my nervousness to increase and a knot to form in my stomach.
Lady Bridgerton has entered the room almost ten minutes ago, but she has entered alone and no one has entered after her.
She's supposed to be with Eloise, to help her get ready and her presence here assures me that Eloise is ready. But it doesn't show up anywhere, because she is nowhere to be seen.
I look over to where my aunt is sitting for comfort, seeing the impatience and worried look on her face. She seems to notice my look, as she offers me a small smile and a reassuring nod.
But I can't calm down when I feel hundreds of eyes on me and I can hear the murmurs of those present.
My gaze then falls on where the Bridgertons are sitting, muttering and talking a little erratically to each other. That alarms me even more.
What if Eloise regrets the deal and backs out? What if she leaves me standing at the altar?
That would explain the lateness and the stressed look on the face of the Bridgertons family matriarch. Maybe she already knows and is telling the rest of the family.
My breath stops when the doors of the room open and one of my aunt's waiters enters the room.
XY: Miss Eloise Bridgerton by the hands of Mr. Benedict Bridgerton.- he announces and I can feel myself breathing again.
But as soon as I start to breathe, the air gets stuck in my throat and it's because of something else entirely.
My mind goes completely blank as I see Eloise in her wedding dress with her hair up in a high bun. The light that enters through the windows of the room illuminates her dress and she looks like a complete angel.
The train of the dress trails gently across the floor, as does her veil, which rests just in front of the updo on her head and at the beginning of the train of her dress.
I'm not aware of the moment when Eloise has reached my side and Benedict offers me her hand. I'm only aware when my soon-to-be wife's brother clears his throat and the noise snaps me out of my reverie.
Y/n: Sorry.- I whisper embarrassed, feeling the heat flood my cheeks and receiving my fiancée's hand.
Benedict: Take care of her.- he threatens me seriously, before walking away and sitting with the rest of the family.
Priest: We are gathered here to celebrate the union between Prince Y/n of Hannover and Miss Eloise Bridgerton.- he begins to speak, but I only observe Eloise's profile and try to be as discrete as possible. -Love is something... ... ... ....- He speaks but I ignore him, looking only at the woman to my left. -Now I want you to repeat with me, you first prince. With this ring, I take you Eloise Bridgerton as my wife, to love you and take care of you in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty until death do us part.- he says and I look at the priest paying attention to him again .
Y/n: With this ring, I take you Eloise Bridgerton as my wife, to love you and take care of you in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty until death do us part.- I recite while staring at her eyes, receiving the ring from the priest and placing it on her finger.
Priest: Now your tourn Miss Bridgerton.- he says, offering her the other ring and I can see how she takes it with a trembling hand.
Eloise: With this ring, I take you Y/n from Hannover as my husband, to love you and take care of you in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty until death do us part.- she says nervously and shakily placing the ring on my finger.
Priest: With this exchange of rings, this marriage unites and will be consolidated with a kiss.- he says and I look nervously at the woman in front of me. -You can kiss each other.- he tells us.
I take a deep breath, before taking a step forward closing my eyes and leaning down feeling the erratic beating of my heart.
For a moment, my heart stops completely when my lips make contact with hers, and I can feel her breathing stop.
As we break from the kiss, I open my eyes to look at my now wife and see that she's still keeping them closed. I smile at the image and when she opens her eyes, she immediately smiles back at me.
I extend my hand to her, which she immediately entwines with hers and I direct her towards the large backyard where the celebration will take place.
Eloise: I have to talk to you.- she whispers so that only I can hear heron our walk outside.
Y/n: Bad or good? - I ask confused, smiling at the guests.
Eloise: It depends.- she answers me, doing the same action as me.
Y/n: Okay.- I nod almost imperceptibly.
But as soon as we set foot in the garden, people come to greet us and congratulate us on the wedding. Every time we try to get away so we can talk, someone steps up and stops that from happening.
But I take advantage of a moment when everyone is watching the fireworks, to grab Eloise by the hand and pull her behind some tall hedges a bit away from the crowd.
Y/n: What did you wanted to talk about? - I ask her in a whisper, not wanting to speak too loud and be heard.
Eloise: It's about the agreement.- she whispers, looking around making sure there's no one around.
Y/n: What about the agreement? - I ask completely confused.
Eloise: What happens if there is something that alters or changes the agreement? - she answers me with another question.
Y/n: I don't know.- I answer honestly. -I couldn't know if something could alter or change our agreement, if I don't know what it is about.- I clarify and see how she bites her lower lip nervously.
Eloise: Hypothetically speaking.- she clarifies nervously and I nod. -What would happen if one of the two parties ends up falling in love with the other party?- she asks, looking anywhere but at me and my heart races.
Y/n: Hypothetically speaking? - I ask and she nods. -That maybe the other party has also fallen in love.- I admit feeling the heat on my cheeks from shame.
She opens her eyes wide, directing her gaze to me and staring at me. I try to calm my heart; not wanting to have a heart attack.
Eloise: You...? - she asks me uncertainly, pointing to herself and I nod nervously.
Y/n: And you..? - I ask in the same way, pointing to me and she nods, joining her lips in a straight line.
Eloise: And now what? - she asks, avoiding my gaze and I decide to be brave.
I take two steps towards her, moving closer to her body and gently placing my hand on her chin. I force her head up and look at me, before I say what I've wanted to say for a month.
Y/n: Do you want to see the world with me? - I ask with a small nervous smile.
Eloise: Yes.- she nods with a slight redness on her cheeks after a couple of seconds.
I can't stand her closeness anymore, so I finish bringing my face closer to hers and I put our lips together again.
This time, the kiss is longer and lets us release all the feelings we had stored. My hands are placed on her waist, to be able to bring her closer to me and to be able to hug her by the hip against my body.
While her hands go up my arms and intertwine with each other at the nape of my neck.
We kiss until the air becomes necessary and we put our foreheads together to maintain the closeness between our faces.
Y/n: I love you.- I admit for the first time out loud without taking my eyes off hers.
Eloise: I love you.- she whispers and this time she is the one who brings our lips together in a hungry kiss.
If someone had told me that an agreed marriage proposal would have led me to meet the love of my life, I would never have believed it.
But fate is capricious and you never know where it will turn out.
But looking back from the backyard of my mansion with my wife, where I am playing with our four children and my beautiful wife is reading a book in a chair in the sun, that proposition was the wisest choice of my life.
THE END
176 notes · View notes
bqstqnbruin · 2 months
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Tattoos of You
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Look, I know this gif is ancient but I love this one don't judge me.
ANYWAY here I am with my entry for @wyattjohnston's summer 2024 fic exchange! I had the pleasure of writing for @senditcolton so I hope you enjoy this because I have literally been thinking about this fic so much for the last like three months (yes I have been working on this idea for too long)
These following links are some of the tik toks that I used for inspo for this fic: X X X X X
Special shoutout to @nicohischier for reading this the entire time I was writing it, love you (I swear you'll get a happy fic at some point)
Warnings: Swearing, drinking, aNGST (Nicole you asked for it)
WC: 11k
________________________________
an open book with a sunset coming out of it
The sun was shining, children were running around and laughing, people were splashing around in the water.
Colette was under an umbrella, trying to stay in its shade as much as possible, with a hat on her head and her sunglasses on. 
“Can you please enjoy yourself?” Becca asks. 
“This is as close to enjoying myself as you’re going to get,” Colette mumbles, not looking up from the book that she was reading. It’s not that she hated the beach, it’s that she hated the sun, the sand, the heat, the noise, the crowds of people.
Maybe she did hate the beach.
“Do you want to go back up to the house?” The house was not much better: the AC barely worked when they got in last night, and Colette spent most of the night not sleeping because of how hot the room was. She was also pretty sure that there was a raccoon somewhere in the walls of the house, since the scratching she could swear was coming from behind her head when she was in her bed only happened at night, and magically stopped once the sun came up. 
“Do you want to go back to the house?” Colette asks.
“Not at all.” 
“Well, I’m not going to walk the two miles back alone, am I?”
Becca rolls her eyes, shielding them from the sun despite the huge sunglasses on her face. She looks out to the water and lets out a long sigh. “Everyone else is in the water having fun, why don’t we join them?”
Colette makes a face as she looks out at the rest of her friend group. They were playing some horrible version of chicken, given the fact that she was sure she and Becca were the only ones sober at this point. “Then when you get out of the water, the sand sticks to you because you’re all wet and it’s impossible to get off.” 
“You’re, like, the only person I know who hates the beach this much.”
“I wanted to go to a cabin near the lake we used to go to when we were younger, and you all wanted to ‘try something new,’” Colette points out. “I told you I didn’t like the beach, but you guys said you wouldn’t go away without me.” 
Becca rolls her eyes again, “That’s because we like you, Lettie. You’re the responsible one in the group.” 
Becca gets up without another word, going to join the rest of their friends in the water. “Great,” Colette mumbles, going back to her book.  
She loses track of time, her friends never even coming back to talk to her while she finishes one book and quickly moves on to the next. The people around her come and go, the beach slowly emptying out as people leave for dinner. She wasn’t sure how long her friends would last without food, given the amount of alcohol they had consumed and how little they had come back to their spots in the sand to even grab the snacks they ran around packing that morning. 
“Watch out!” she hears coming from her left, a ball hitting the book out of her hands and into the sand a few feet away before she even has the chance to react.
“You bastards,” she shrieks as two guys come running over to get the ball. “That’s a library book.” 
“Your book is fine,” one of them says, holding up the book with two fingers as if it had a disease or something else rancid oozing out of it. 
“Are you ok?” the other one asks, Colette holding up her hand to shield her eyes so she could at least see the guys she was scowling at with the sun behind them. 
Despite her anger at them for nearly probably injuring her, they were, unfortunately for her, attractive. Not that made her less angry, but if Becca were there next to her, she would somehow manage to force Colette to acknowledge it to their faces. 
“I’m fine, but my book is not,” she says, ripping the thing out of the darker haired boy. “You ripped one of the pages when you picked it up.”
The one with lighter hair looked behind his friend, scoffed and thrust the ball into his friend's chest to pick up the now missing page. “You’re giving her money to pay for a replacement book,” he says, handing Colette the page.
“Fine, I’ll give her the ten dollars.”
“This book cost twenty five,” she tells him, showing him the price from the back of the book.
“Books are twenty five dollars?” he scoffs. “For what?”
“If you could read above a fourth grade reading level, maybe you would know,” Colette mutters, earning a laugh from the lighter haired boy. 
“I’m not paying that much for a book.”
“You’re the one who kicked the ball that ruined her book. You’re the one who’s going to pay for her to replace it so she doesn’t have to. You get, like, a hundred and seventy five thousand dollars a week for your paycheck, you can handle twenty five dollars, you jackass.”
Colette nearly chokes when she hears the number he casually spit out, the two sending themselves into a bickering match over the money. She gets out her phone, wincing as she stands up for the first time in hours to hand it to the dark haired boy. “Send the money here.”
He starts mumbling something under his breath, Colette rolling her eyes as he does as instructed. One of the guys from their group calls for them, him running back to them with the ball.
“Sorry about Mat,” his friend says, standing over Colette as she sits back down.
“He seems like a delight,” she deadpans, trying to hide the combination of disgust and excitement as he sits down with her, laughing at her words.
“He’s an asshole,” he tells her, squinting as he looks out at the water. Colette couldn’t help but study him, the green of his eyes, the sharp angle of his jawline, his somehow perfectly styled hair, all combining to something she didn’t understand her need to look at. “And thankfully, my opposite.”
“People don’t talk like that,” Colette blurts out before thinking.
“Excuse me?”
“‘And thankfully, my opposite,’” she imitates him, lowering her voice and earning another laugh from him. “That’s something people say in rom coms.”
“You’re awfully judgemental for someone who doesn’t have to pay for a damaged book.”
Colette laughs, a smile forming on his face that, for some reason, she didn’t want to stop seeing. “It’s part of my charm. I’m Colette, by the way.”
“Anthony.”
Colette loses track of time again, not because of her now ruined book. Becca eventually comes back, as do the rest of the friends, letting her know that they were running to grab food before coming back to watch the sunset. Anthony’s friends had seemingly all but forgotten about him, at one point leaving without him realizing it, only to come back with Colette’s friends with food for both of them. 
“You guys came all the way to Canada when you live in Pittsburgh?” Mat asks.
“We go somewhere every year together, Lettie picked Vancouver for her turn,” Eddy says.
“I did not pick the beach, though,” she says, only loud enough for Anthony to hear. 
“Glad you did,” he replies, again, only loud enough for her to hear. He smiles at her, his hand inching towards hers in the sand as the sun sets over the water. 
a tent on the ground with a pine tree next to it, the moon and shooting star over both
“Those guys from the beach said they wanted to go camping with us this weekend,” Eddy says during their group facetime. 
Becca immediately started making plans of who was driving with who, Addison talking about the tents and sleeping bags she could borrow from her dad and brothers from their scouting days, Devyn talking about the food they would be able to bring, Franco talking about the beer. 
“Hold on, guys,” Colette interrupted, doubting that any of her friends was actually listening to the others. “Since when do we camp?”
“Since hot guys ask us to,” Eddy says.
“You liked those guys?” Colette asks, the rest of her friends laughing at her.
“Oh, come on, Lettie,” Addison teases her. “You ignored us for the entire three days we were there because you were talking to Anthony.” 
Colette rolls her eyes, thankful that her friends couldn’t see the rapid succession of texts from Anthony appearing on her screen at that moment. She didn’t want to tell them that they were right that she liked talking with him that weekend two months ago, so much so that she had been texting him almost as often as she was texting the group chat. She didn’t want to admit that she thought she was starting to fall for a guy she had only interacted with in person once, because who the hell did that? 
But, this was an excuse to see him again, without her friends nagging her about her crush, that may or may not exist, in a way that wouldn’t be a date. 
“I’m not driving.” 
“Does that mean you’re coming?” Eddy asks, all of her friends faces’ way too close to their cameras for her to do anything other than groan.
“Unfortunately.” 
By the time they got to the camping site, the guys already had enough tents set up for a small army. Eddy stops the car, Devyn and Franco getting out and immediately starting to unpack the trunk full of their stuff. 
“Damn,” Eddy drools, Colette laughing. “I never knew setting up tents was hot.”
“It’s not.”
Eddy fans himself, taking in a deep breath. “It is once you realize that that active bakery over there is attached to your boyfriend.” 
Colette cringes, trying not to let Eddy see her looking at Tito with his back towards them, bent over at his waist, his ass right there. “Not my boyfriend.”
“Not yet, babe,” Eddy corrects her. “That could change tonight.”
“And how, praytell, do you see that happening?”
“You’ll share a tent with him, you’ll share all your secrets, fall madly in love, get married with me as the bridesman of honor, of course, have tons of babies, and die in each others arms like that one couple on the Titanic.” 
“You could eat and shit out a bunch of Scrabble tiles and whatever they spelled out would still make more sense than whatever just came out of your mouth,” she says, getting out of the car just as Becca and Addison pull up behind them. 
Eddy laughs, locking the car doors. “Just because I don’t make sense to you doesn’t mean I’m not right. I’ve never seen two people who align so well before you and Tito. You are so meant to be.”
Colette laughs. “I’ll remember that next time you’re fawning over Devyn and Franco’s relationship,” she tells him, gesturing over to their two friends who had already claimed a tent to share together. 
Eddy had a sly smile forming on his face, one that Colette knew was going to lead to something she hated. “Hey, Anthony,” he calls.
Anthony perks up once he sees who calls his name, Colette telling herself that it was simply because he heard his name and he had ‘golden retriever vibes’ in general, not because he saw her, despite the fact that he was looking at her the entire time he came over. “What’s up, Ed?”
Eddy visibly swoons at the sound of Anthony calling him a nickname, trying to collect his composure before Anthony actually notices or Colette calls him out for it. “Lettie here said that she wanted to share a tent with someone since she’s never been camping before.”
“What?”
“Ok?”
“Well, I snore like a jet ski, so I would never want to subject our girl to that,” Eddy continues, throwing his arm around Colette and pulling her close to him, throwing her off balance, “So we were wondering if you wanted to share with her?”
“Oh!” Anthony says, his face turning red. Colette tries to discreetly pinch Eddy’s side as payback, her heart racing as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, I was going to ask you that anyway, but I guess you beat me to it.” 
Eddy walks away without another word, leaving an angry Colette and an embarrassed Anthony behind in his wake. “He’s lying, I’m fine on my own if you don’t-”
“You don’t-” he cuts her off, looking down at the ground, “You don’t want to share a tent?”
“No, I mean,” she starts, trying to find the right words. How do you tell someone you want to be near them without it sounding weird? “If you want to, I wouldn't say no to sharing.”
“Oh, I want to,” he says quickly, a small laugh escaping his lips that matched Colettes. “I want to.”
Colette could feel her face getting hot as she smiled at him. “Let’s go set up our tent?”
Their friends wander off again, just like the day they met at the beach, as the day wore on, leaving Anthony and Colette to finish setting up where they were going to start their fire for the night. 
“Hold on,” Colette says, trying not to laugh so hard that she couldn’t get the words out, “She threw what?”
“A dildo.”
“So that photo you sent me of your black eye from last season?”
Anthony’s face was bright red, biting his lip and nodding, “Yeah. yeah, it wasn’t from practice. It was from Tamsin throwing a dildo at me when she thought I was breaking into our apartment.”
Colette cackled, the ugliest sounding laugh she had ever heard bubbling up from her stomach. “I’m so sorry.”
“Like you’ve never had any embarrassing encounters with an ex.”
“The worst I’ve had is a guy named Mason sprinkled packets of those instant mashed potatoes around the lawn outside my apartment complex after a bad break up when we were in college.”
“How’d you know it was him?”
“He texted me right before it rained asking if I liked mashed potatoes, and then I never heard from him again.” 
Anthony laughs, the voice in Colette's head telling her that she wanted to hear that sound as much as she could. They keep talking about nothing as the sun sets, starting the fire before it gets too dark out.
“So,” Anthony says, sitting down on one of the chairs, the shadows from the flames illuminating every Colette had been mesmerized by the first time they met. “We’ve got Dildo Throwing Tamsin and Mashed Potato Mason as our exes.” 
“I think they’d like each other,” she laughs, plopping down on a chair next to him. Colette looks up to the sky. The stars streaked the sky like nothing she had ever seen before. She knew there were millions of stars up there, but she never thought she would see them. “God, you never get to see the stars with all the city lights. It’s beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful,” she hears Anthony say, his face red yet again when she turns her attention to him and smiles. Before she can say anything, he starts, “Do you think we can see each other?”
“Do you think I’m imaginary or something?”
“No, I mean,” he starts, the sounds of their friends coming back to start eating making him jump. He pulls his chair so close to Colette’s they practically overlap as he lowers his voice. “Can we go out when we’re back in the city? Just the two of us?”
Colette felt her face getting hot again, charmed by the nerves he showed around her. “Yes.” 
a mirror with an outline of a head in it, no face
“What are you doing right now?”
“I’m getting ready for work.”
“Do you want to hang out?”
“Did you not hear me?” 
Colette hears Anthony laugh on the other end of the phone. “I heard you, but I still want to hang out. I miss you.”
Colette cringed as she felt her heart skip a beat. She hated that she missed him too, and she wanted to see him, but, “I have to leave in the next two minutes if I want to be on time for my meeting, I can’t. What about tonight?”
“We have a home game at seven tonight. Tomorrow morning?”
“I’m watching my cousin and taking him to his soccer game for my aunt tomorrow.”
“What time?”
“You’re not coming to watch pee wee soccer.”
“What time are you leaving to pick him up?”
“You’re really bad at listening,” Colette says, grabbing the last of her stuff as she heads out the door. 
“What time?” he repeats, clearly not going to stop until she gives him an answer as she rushes out the door. 
“I don’t remember. Can I let you know after work tonight?” 
“Sure. Talk later?” he asks, alarm bells going off in Colette’s head about something she was sure he was scheming.
He hangs up before he can say anything, leaving Colette to stew as to what he was going to do. Anthony wasn’t going to show up at her apartment when she was supposed to leave to get her cousin, was he?
“Why do you look like that?” Addison asks once she sees Colette at work. 
Colette snaps out of the trance she didn’t realize she was in, looking away from her computer for the first time in a while. “I don’t know, genetics?” she asks, a slightly offended tone in her voice. 
“No, I mean,” she says, sitting down on Colette’s desk. “You look concerned.”
Colette shakes her head. “I was just working,” she says, leaning back in her chair and rubbing her eyes. She lets out a sigh. “Anthony was really adamant about hanging out.”
“Oh, no,” she says, fake concern dripping through her voice as Colette rolls her eyes. “The guy you’re dating wants to see you.” 
“He was kind of weird about it, though. He wanted to come over this morning, and I think he wants to hang out tomorrow.”
“Well, that’s not weird.”
“I’m watching Grayson tomorrow.”
“And?”
“And he knows that.”
“So?”
Colette rolls her eyes again out of frustration for herself. Why couldn’t she explain how she felt to her friend? “So we just saw each other, like, two nights ago. Isn’t it too soon to see each other again?”
Addison shakes her head. “Don’t you want to see him?”
“Well, yeah, but what if he’s only asking to see me because he knows I want to see him and he doesn’t actually want to see me? I have to take Grayson to his soccer game. That’s so boring. Why would he want to do that?”
Addison rolls her eyes. “Because he’s obsessed with you?”
Colette groans. “Don’t you have a meeting in a minute?”
The next morning, Colette wakes up to knocking on her door. She gets up, surprised to find Anthony standing on the other side of the door with coffees in hand. “What are you doing here?” she whines.
“You never texted me,” he tells her, pushing past her and heading to her room.
“I, uh,” she hesitates. “Sorry, I forgot.” 
Anthony sets the coffees down on her nightstand, pulling up her sheets as if he was going to start making her bed. “No you didn’t.” 
“I did,” Colette tells him, her voice sounding more sure of her lie. 
“You just didn’t text me.” 
“Look, I love taking Grayson to his soccer games when my aunt can’t, but they’re really boring for other people. Last time I took Eddy, he complained the entire time,” she explains, taking the coffee from him. “I didn’t think you’d really want to sit through that.” Colette starts to get ready, sitting in front of the mirror in her room to get her hair together. 
She makes eye contact through the glass with Anthony as he sits down on her now made bed. “I don’t do anything I don’t want to do.” 
a cartoon cinnamon bun
Anthony had his arms around Colette before they were even through the door, pinning her against the wall outside her apartment, his lips on hers. They had been like this since they were in the bar with the rest of their friends, them being teased that they needed to get a room. Since Anthony’s eyes got darker when he turned to her, his hands on her waist as he asked her who’s place was closer for them to get in a bed as soon as possible. 
They barely made it through her door and had it shut when Anthony’s fingers danced along the hem of her shirt, pleading with her to take it off and practically ripping his off at the same time. Anthony and Colette stumbled their way to her bed, nearly losing contact with each other when they collapsed onto her mattress, skin to skin and Colette already deliriously happy. 
They woke up the next morning, the sheets a mess, their clothing in a trail leading from her entryway to her bed. Colette’s phone was somehow on her nightstand next to her, buzzing continuously for what seemed like any hour. Anthony let out a groan, a result of the hangover he was probably feeling. 
“Don’t get it,” he mumbles into her pillow, his arm wrapped around her pulling her closer. She could feel herself relax as his heartbeat gently thumped against her back. It buzzes again, Anthony starting to kiss his way from the nape of her neck down her spine, a giggle escaping her lips at his attempt to distract her.
“If it’s going off this much, it has to be something bad.”
“One time it was Eddy melting down and calling to tell you he got water on his new shoes.”
Colette scrolls through her phone, multiple missed calls from her friend group as Anthony’s mouth works his way back up to her neck, propping himself up to try to get her cheeks. Another call from Eddy appears on her screen, her heart racing that something bad happened to one of her friends. 
“Hello?”
“Oh my god,” Eddy screams, “I thought Anthony murdered you.” 
Anthony and Colette laugh, Colette switching over to speaker phone even though Anthony had no problem hearing their conversation without it. “No, we were asleep. What’s wrong?”
“I’ve been praying to God all morning that you were ok.”
“Eddy, it’s like 9 am, and you don’t believe in God.”
“I found God so I could pray that you were ok.”
“I didn’t realize she was lost, but sure. What’s wrong?”
“Your parents are on their way. They said they’d be at your place at 9 am.”
Colette looks at the time at the top of her screen: 8:56 am. 
“Fucking shit,” she screams, dropping her phone on her bed and practically falling over the sheets as she launched herself off the mattress to collect the clothes scattered around her floor. 
“What, what’s wrong?” Anthony calls after her, picking up what he can and throwing on the shirt that was still sitting by her front door. 
“My parents are coming.” 
“And?”
“You’re here.”
“Do you not want me here?”
Colette whips around to face him, thrusting his underwearing and pants from last night into his chest while trying to get her own shirt back over her head. “Of course, I do.” She runs past him and back into her room to throw clothes on and panic make her bed. “It’s just, you don’t have enough time to leave before they get here. And, if you’re here, then they’re going to start asking questions about whether or not you’re my boyfriend, and probably a bunch of other things, too.”
“Then we tell them I am,” Colette hears, seeing Anthony appear on the other side of her bed to help her straighten up. 
She stops, standing straight up to stare at him. “What?”
“We tell them I’m your boyfriend.” He walks around to the other side of her bed to meet her. “Unless, you don’t want me to be your boyfriend.” 
Colette opens her mouth, no words coming out. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
Anthony throws his head back in laughter, pulling her in for a hug and kissing the top of her head. “Of course I do.” Colette gives him a kiss, a knock at her door pulling them apart. “You get more clothes on, I’ll go meet your parents.”
Colette scrambles to find something presentable enough for her parents liking, trying her best to fix her hair and the makeup that she never took off from the night before when she hears laughter coming from her kitchen. She finally comes out of her room, her mom’s hand over Anthony’s while her dad is animated talking to him, a pink bag from her favorite bakery near their house on the table filling the room with the scent of the cinnamon buns that made her mouth water. 
“Sweetie, we brought you some breakfast, but we didn’t know you had your boyfriend over,” her mom says, no hint of the fakeness Colette expected in her voice. 
“Why don’t we all go out for breakfast?” Anthony says, getting up from his seat, “My treat. Colette and I can have the cinnamon buns later.”
Her mother swoons as he takes her hand and leads her to the door, a wink from Anthony sent Colette’s way that made her cheeks burn. 
Her dad pulls her in for a hug, his arm around her shoulder as they follow Anthony and her mom down to his car. “Boyfriend, huh? Is he good enough for you?”
Colette hesitates, not sure why she did so before saying, “I think so.”
What if she wasn’t good enough for him?
a phone with an incoming call, no contact on the screen
“Franco, please, you’re giving me a headache,” Addison groans, her hands on her head to massage the headache away.
“No, I don’t care, you guys don’t understand how amazing she was.”
“We do, babe, I promise, but it’s 1 am,” Devyn tells him, giving him a gentle squeeze on his thigh. 
“No, you don’t get it. She has only lost the all-around once on the national and international level in the eleven years she’s been qualified for elite,” Franco argues back, launching into a rant about Simone Biles that none of them wanted to hear when they wanted to go to sleep.
Eddy groans the loudest. “I think you talk this much about your fiance,” he points out Devyn taking a minute before she realized he was right and giving Franco a glare. 
The rest of the group launches into an argument when Colette’s phone rings, Anthony’s name coming up with a picture of the two of them from one night when they fell asleep on the couch together. Eddy had taken the photo and immediately gotten a bucket of water to pour over them to wake them up because he wanted to go out and get food with someone. Despite the aftermath of the photo, seeing it made her smile every time.
“Hey,” she says, walking out of Devyn and Franco’s living room without her friends noticing. “How was the game?”
“We won,” Anthony tells her. They were on a west coast road trip that was supposed to end tomorrow with a game against Seattle. 
“Why do you sound so sad, then?” Colette asks. Before they left, he told her they needed to do well this road trip in order to get into the wild card spot since the playoffs were right around the corner. They needed this win to get the cap between them and the next team even wider.
He lets out a long sigh. “I didn’t really play that well or that much.”
Colette could hear the sadness in his voice. She knew that he had been bouncing around to a few teams in the last couple of years, finally finding what he hoped was a more permanent home in Pittsburgh. “Did anyone score while you were on the ice?”
“No.”
“Did you get an assist or score?”
“Two assists, yeah.”
“Then what happened?”
She knew Anthony was scrunching his face. “I don’t know, I just felt off.”
Colette nodded. “I get that.” Anthony lets out a long breath. “Are you guys leaving after the game tomorrow or the next morning?”
“I actually don’t know. I guess I’ll find out when I’m on the plane,” he jokes, Colette laughing. “I can come over whenever I get in?”
“Yeah,” she says, smiling at the thought of seeing him. “If it’s tomorrow night, just wake me up when you come in.” 
“Nah, I’ll let you sleep,” he says.
“No,” she argues, “I want to see you.” Eddy comes up behind her, making kissing noises at her. 
“Tell Eddy I can hear him,” he laughs, Colette following suit. Anthony lets out a yawn. “Ok, I’m gonna go.”
“Bye, babe.”
“I love you, bye,” he yawns, hanging up before she could say anything else. 
Colette stands there, staring at her phone with her mouth hanging open. 
“What did he do? Do I have to kill him? I have enough gas in my car and money in my bank account to drive to San Jose and commit a felony,” Eddy starts, dragging her back into the living room with the rest of their friends.
“Lettie, what’s wrong?” Addison asks.
“Anthony just told me he loves me.”
The entire group’s jaws dropped, Eddy screaming loud enough that Colette was sure Devyn and Franco's neighbors could hear him. “What did you tell him?”
Colette shook her head. “Nothing. He said it and hung up the phone.”
“That rat bastard.”
“Eddy, say something helpful for once, please?”
Her friends start asking her a hundred questions, all coming at once. Why didn’t she call him back? Was she going to tell him she loved him? When was she going to tell him? When was she going to talk to him again in the first place?
Becca asked the question that made her stop. “Do you love him?”
Colette didn’t know what to say, trying to find the words. She knew she liked him, a lot. He was probably the person she could see herself loving for the rest of her life if he would let her. 
“We should let her tell Anthony first, not us,” Devyn says, Colette letting out a little bit of an exhale as her friend told everyone it was probably time for them to go to bed.
She spent the night on their couch, Becca and Addison in their guest room, Eddy bringing his own blow up mattress and snoring on the floor near Colette. 
She barely slept. Could she tell Anthony that she loved him? She could tell him anything, but if she did, would she mean it? It shouldn’t have surprised her that he would say it first, and it didn’t even surprise her that he said it at all. What shocked her most was that she wasn’t sure what she would say back. 
Anthony was the kindest person to her, the one she wanted to call and see and be with all the time. She would do anything for him, but did that mean she loved him?
What if her love wasn’t enough? What if he ended up loving her more than she was capable of loving him? 
“Eddy,” she whispers, trying not to scare him into waking up. She throws her pillow over to his mattress, hitting his face.
“The fish escaped,” he says, startled out of whatever his dream was. He rubs his eyes, groaning. “I was just about to save the country from the dinosaur fish.”
“You can go back to that in a minute,” Colette says, turning on the lamp on the end table next to her, despite Eddy’s groans. “When you were with Alex, how did you feel when you said ‘I love you.’”
“I think I was drunk and then blacked out.” Colette groans. “Lettie, if you’re freaking out about telling him you love him, then you don’t have to tell him right now. It’s ok for you to not say it if you aren’t comfortable with it.”
“That was out of character for you.”
“A stopped clock is right once a day.”
“Twice, Eddy.”
“Whatever, I’m going back to sleep. I hope this dream lets me play with kittens instead.”
Colette spent the next day stressing, running on pure anxiety due to her lack of sleep the night before. She hadn’t been able to watch Anthony’s game that night, falling asleep before it even started. She woke up Saturday morning to the sound of someone coming in her front door, hoping that it was Anthony and not an intruder.
“Colette?” Anthony calls, wandering into her bedroom to find her just sitting up, yawning and rubbing her eyes. “It’s nearly two pm, are you just waking up?”
“Don’t judge, I couldn’t sleep the other night. I guess it just caught up with me now.”
“I feel like I freaked you out after the game against San Jose,” Anthony says, sitting down. They had barely talked the day before, Colette purposely avoiding him under the guise of being busy all day with something at work. It wasn’t technically a lie, she just also hid her phone in her desk and forgot about it on purpose.
“No, you di-” she starts.
“I do mean it, though,” he says, pulling her in for a hug. “I do love you.”
Colette felt her heart start to race as she felt his hand on the back of her head. She could say it. She was sure it felt right. “Anthony,” she starts, feeling herself start to sweat as she pulls away to look at him. “I love you, too.” 
Anthony smiles, kissing her.
Saying it felt just fine. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to feel more. 
wheel of fortune tarot card
Colette was exhausted. 
The entire last week was spent with her and Anthony unpacking all the things they had into their new apartment, trying to figure out what to get rid of and what to keep when they realized that consolidating their things meant they now had two of everything they needed to share with each other; two sets of silverware, two sets of plates and bowls, two bedroom sets, two sets of living room furniture. 
Anthony was willing to get rid of anything he needed to, but Colette was having a harder time going through her things. She didn’t mind sharing, but she wanted her own stuff. What if she, for whatever reason, had to move out, or if Anthony got traded and had to take stuff with him and left her with nothing because the stuff he took was technically “his” and not her own?
“Hey, babe,” she calls into the apartment, a little bit of an echo following her through the few rooms they hadn’t finished unpacking yet. 
“In here,” Colette hears, following Anthony’s voice into their bedroom. He was standing in front of the bookshelf he had built into the wall (by someone who knew what they were doing, not by him), putting up all the books she had brought from her old place.
“I told you I would organize these,” she told him, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist, kissing his back. “I have a system.”
Anthony laughs, spinning around and hugging her back, kissing her on the lips. “Your system is ‘I have a bunch of books by this author, so they need to be together.’”
“And?”
“I’m not even touching your books yet,” he points out, turning her attention to all the boxes she left in the corner that were still, in fact, untouched. “These are my books.”
“I didn’t know you read.”
“Not all hockey players are illiterate, Colette,” he jokes, earning a laugh from her.
“No, I mean,” she starts, heading over to one of her boxes to start trying to organize them. “I know you normally don’t have time to do things other than, like, eat, sleep, and play hockey. Reading didn’t seem like something you had time for.”
“Well, you read a lot, so I thought I could do the same,” he tells her, his voice lower than normal. Colette looks up at the shelf he was putting books on; The Familiar by Leigh Bardugo and Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn amongst other books she loved and already had copies of sitting there on their own shelf. 
“I already have these, you could have borrowed them at any time,” she points out, feeling Anthony’s arms around her, his chin resting on the top of her head. 
“Yeah, but this way I can take them with me on the road and you’d still have your copies. I’d have a piece of you with me.”
What piece of him would she have with her while he was gone? She couldn’t think of anything as he spun her around in his arms to kiss her, feeling his smile against her lips while all she could feel was distress coursing through her.
a laundry basket full of clothes with a piece of clothing crumpled up in front of it
“What the hell?” Colette comes home from work to find that everything Anthony said he was going to get done was not done. He had promised he would get everything cleaned up before his friends came over tomorrow. “Anthony?”
Her boyfriend peers his head into the kitchen where she was standing, a smile on his face immediately fading when he sees the anger on hers. “Oh, shit.”
“Yeah, oh shit,” she says, gesturing around her. “This is the third day in a row that you said you would clean up.”
“I’m sorry, I got caught up.” He tells her, approaching her slowly, as if she were a tiger going to pounce on him with any sudden movement. “I’ll start now.”
Colette scoffs as he reaches out to her. He did this all the time. He would tell her that he would help her clean, especially when more than half of it was his mess to begin with, and then it always fell on her. “That’s not the point, Anthony,” she snaps at him.
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“No, you aren’t. You tell me that every time you do this. You said you would help with the laundry, and look at where all the clothes are, not even in the basket still sitting on front of the washer and dryer where you left them two days ago,” she starts, gesturing to the mountain of dirty clothes she could see in their little laundry alcove that she swore she could smell from where she was standing. “The dishes from dinner on Monday are still here because you promised me after I cooked that you would clean them, but you disappeared instead and didn’t come home until after I went to bed. You have your coffee cup sitting on the table with coffee in it that I’m pretty sure is from at least three days ago. What the fuck is going on with you?”
“Nothing,” he says quickly, his face getting red as he turns towards the sink to start the dishes. “And, to be fair, you do this to me all the time. I come home from road trips and find you haven’t taken out the trash the entire time, or the dishwasher hasn’t been started. I’m sorry I forgot the last couple of days, but I’ve been busy.”
Colette bit her lip, knowing he was right. She was picking a fight with him they didn’t need to have, yet here she was anyway. “With what?”
“My job?” he says, shrugging, despite the slightest hint of a wavering going through his voice. It wasn’t just hockey. They were in the middle of a homestand and he had the day off today anyway. 
Colette studies him for a second. “You’re lying to me,” she tells him. She could tell he tensed up from behind, the way he does when he’s not telling her the truth about something.
“I’m not.”
“Then what has been going on with you?”
Anthony hesitates, shaking his head and opening his mouth, clearly trying to figure out what to tell her. “Nothing. Like I said, I just got caught up.”
“With what?”
“Mat needed some help with something.” 
Colette scoffed again, walking out of the kitchen and to their bedroom. She knew Anthony was following her, but shut the door behind her anyway. “Why would Mat need your help so urgently that he, on Long Island, needed to take you away from cleaning for the entire day here in Pittsburgh?” she asks, sitting on their bed as he opens the door back up.
“I can’t tell you that, it’s Mat’s business.”
Colette nods, knowing he was still lying. She pulls out her phone, pulling up her boyfriend's best friend's contact. “Hey,” she says when he picks up, seeing the wave of panic flash in Anthonys eyes as he pulled out his phone and started typing furiously on his own phone. She knew he was texting Mat. “Have you heard from Anthony today?”
“Uh, no, why?” Mat says, Anthony throwing his head back, sucking on his teeth and muttering ‘fuck’ under his breath. 
“He just seemed a little off this morning when I left for work, I thought maybe hearing from you would cheer him up a little,” she lies to him.
“Oh, sure?” Mat tells her clearly confused before they hang up with each other.
“I can explain,” Anthony starts, sitting next to her on the bed and putting his hands in her lap. 
Colette waits for a moment. “Then do it.”
“Tomorrow, I promise.” 
She lets out a laugh. “No, now.”
“I can’t.” 
Colette stares at him for a second, him still not looking directly at her but a pleading look in his eyes. “Are you cheating on me?”
Anthony finally looks at her. “What? Of course not.”
“Then what the hell is going on?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Anthony, you know everything about me. I tell you everything,” she says, looking around at the room they shared that he filled with her favorite things. She still hadn’t figured out what she would do for him. She could feel herself starting to panic, a year since they moved in together and she still barely knew anything about him. Colette shakes her head, looking down at his hands still in her lap. “We can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“If we want to be in a relationship like this, we have to tell each other what’s going on,” she lies. She couldn’t do this anymore. 
“I told you, I can tell you tomorrow.”
“What is so important that you can’t tell me now?” she asks, getting up from the bed and starting to pace. Her mind started spiraling, thinking the absolute worst of what he could be hiding from her. She was self destructing, and blaming it on him was the easier way out. She knew it was. “You’re cheating on me, you’re going to break up with me, you have a child you haven’t told me about, you’re dying or you’re seriously sick.”
“Hey woah,” Anthony says, stopping her and standing in front of her. He puts his hands on her shoulders. “Colette, why don’t you trust me?”
Colette stares at him for a second, trying to find her words. “I don’t know.” 
Anthony’s expression drops, his hands sliding down her arms as he shakes his head. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me like this.” 
Colette tries to hide the hurt that came with his statement. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t tell me the truth when I ask him for it.” The two of them stare at each other for a few moments in silence. “Does that mean we’re done?”
Anthony nods, his eyes not reaching Colette’s again. “I think so.” 
a glass looking liquor bottle with a small amount of liquid inside, a solo cup on its side tipped over in front of it
The guy in front of Colette was so cute. At least, he was cute enough to flirt with while she was drunk and still wanting more drinks she didn’t want to pay for. The cup of rum and coke in her drink never seemed to empty for long enough with him standing there with her.
She wasn’t even sure what his name was. She wasn’t sure she cared what his name was.
She was pretending to listen to him while twirling a lock of her hair in her fingers, trying her best to make it look like she was intrigued so that he would get her a refill of her almost empty drink. It wasn’t how she normally flirted, but it was working for him, so why not? 
“Lettie, babe, come on,” she hears Anthony behind her, his hands wrapping themselves around her waist and pulling her ever so slightly towards him. 
A month ago, she would have done anything to feel his body against hers like this. 
Now, she wanted nothing more than to get out of his arms. 
“Anthony,” she tries to fight.
“This your bodyguard?” the guy asks her, looking incredibly pissed off. 
“Boyfriend,” Anthony corrects him.
The guy scoffs, running his hands through his hair. “Nice.” He walks away despite her protests, not listening to her as she tries to pry herself free of Anthony’s grasp. 
He laughs, leading her back to their friends. Colette sits down, a now empty cup in front of her since she didn’t get that last refill that she wanted. None of her friends noticed her not participating in their conversation, her anger toward Anthony increasing along with her sobriety.
“I think I’m going to call it a night,” she stands abruptly, nearly knocking over the table holding all of their drinks. 
Anthony gets up with her, Colette not hearing him say, “I’m gonna turn in too, I’ll walk her home,” before she pushes her way out of the bar and into the muggy air outside.  
“I don’t know how you could stand there and let him flirt with you when you made it pretty clear that you weren’t even interested in him,” Anthony whines, not noticing how annoyed she was with him. He was acting like a hero when he shouldn’t have been. “I mean, I can’t believe I had to step in and help you.”
“You didn’t,” she snaps at him, catching him off guard. “I was interested in him. He was nice. He was buying me drinks. That’s why he was flirting with me, because I was flirting with him.”
Colette thought that they were actually going to be friends, like they said they would be. They had been out together since they broke up. They had hung out with their friends in the exact same setting and had the exact same scenario happen but without this ending to the night. There was no reason why he should have stepped all over her like that to ‘save her,’ as he put it. 
“What? Oh, come on, I know how you act when you’re flirting with a guy.”
“Do you?” she asks him, followed by him giving her a confident, ‘yes.’ “Really? So what do I do?”
“You, you,” he starts, knowing that he dug himself into a hole. “You smile at him, you laugh at everything he says, even if it isn’t funny. You run your hands through your hair because you know that fucking collar bone of yours drives me crazy.” He stops, both of them shocked that he just said that. That isn’t how she flirts with anyone, that’s how she acted around him when they were together. “Fuck.”
“Anthony, you cannot keep doing this. We broke up,” she starts, not adding that it was her fault, even though she still felt like it was. “Stop interfering when I’m with another guy.”
“I’m just trying to protect you,” he tries to defend himself.
“From what? From who? What could you possibly be protecting me from? Other guys? Why, Anthony?”
“Fuck, Colette, you think it’s easy watching you flirt with another guy? Just because we broke up, that doesn’t mean I stopped loving you,” he spits out.
Colette stands there, trying to process what he just told her. She could feel her heart racing, the sound of it beating the only thing she could hear. “I didn’t know you still loved me.”
Anthony scoffs, looking down at the ground, shaking his head. “Of course I did. I do. You haven’t noticed that I haven’t looked at another girl since we broke up? I want you, and only you.”
“I didn’t,” she tells him. “Anthony, you’re just saying this because you’re drunk.”
Anthony raises an eyebrow, shaking his head and biting his lip. “Look, I might be. But I know that drunk or not, I cannot sit around and watch you flirt with every guy in existence, while you, the one who was supposed to be my best friend, didn’t even notice that I was miserable while it was happening.”
“What do you want from me?” she snaps. “What am I supposed to do? We tried. We didn’t work. As much as we both wanted to, we did not work.” 
They stared at each other for a moment, neither of them knowing what to say. He had to know it was her fault they broke up. It wasn’t mutual, not really.
“I guess, nothing,” he tells her, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Nothing at all.” He looks down at the ground and lets out a long sigh. “I’ll see you at the wedding,” is the last thing Anthony says to her before turning on his heels, leaving Colette alone on the sidewalk. 
a ring, not on the ring finger
“Devyn really picked the worst shade of blue she could find for these dresses, didn’t she?” Devyn’s youngest sister, Blake, complains to the rest of the bridesmaids.
Devyn had just stepped out of the room to do her first look with Franco, leaving the girls alone to finish getting ready. 
“She picked sapphire,” Becca said.
“You know,” Colette continues. “Her birthstone?”
“She should have picked a lighter blue. This dark blue totally clashes with my skintone.”
“Blake,” Kendall, her other sister scolds her, “Devyn didn’t give a fuck about your skintone when she picked her favorite color. Either you’re wearing the dress without complaint or I’m telling mom and you’re not in the wedding.”
The sisters keep bickering, Addison, Becca, and Colette slowly moving away from them. 
“I always forget that Blake is still in high school,” Addison says, grabbing her bouquet before checking her makeup one last time.
“I don’t know how you could when she’s constantly tagging Devyn in her posts,” Colette points out.
“Especially the ones she’s not even in.” 
“To increase her visibility,” Colette starts, reciting word for word what Blake had tried to explain to them during Devyn’s bachelorette party. “So she has more people who know her brand when she becomes famous.” 
“Teenagers make no sense,” Devyn appears, a nervous look on her face. “I think we’re almost ready to start.”
“What’s wrong?” Addison asks.
“Colette, we have a problem.” 
“What did I do?”
“Sebby thinks Becca is hot and wants to walk down the aisle with her.”
Colette could feel the color draining from her face at the realization of what this switch would mean for her.
“Is he Franco’s older or younger brother?” Becca asks.
“The older one.”
Becca turns to Colette. “I’m not coming back to the hotel room tonight,” she tells her, practically giddy. “Oh, wait.”
“That means Colette has to walk with-” Addison starts.
“Anthony,” the four girls say at the same time. 
“I’ll be fine,” Colette says, her voice noticeably higher than it should be. She clears her throat, trying to calm herself considering the last time she talked to Anthony was the night he told her he loved her. “I’m fine.”
Devyn’s wedding planner, Jax, comes over to tell them it’s time to line up to enter with the groomsmen. 
“I love you,” Devyn calls after her bridesmaids, all of them calling back to her the same sentiment. 
Colette nearly stops breathing when she sees Anthony in his suit, helping Eddy adjust his tie. The suit fit him perfectly, Colette silently cursing the fact that Franco picked dark gray as the color. She hated to admit that she still thought about that one suit of his that he wore on game day, one that looked identical to the one he had on now. 
“Hi,” she says, standing next to him, trying to not look at him. 
“Hi,” he repeats, staring straight ahead at the back of Eddy’s neck.
The music starts, both of them rigid while everyone else around them is relaxed.
“I thought this would be us one day,” Anthony breaks their silence as the first couple starts to walk arm in arm down the aisle towards where Franco was already standing.
“What?” Colette asks, caught off guard.
Anthony nods, still staring in front of him as they move closer to the entrance of their venue. “I had the proposal all planned out. Had the ring. Had the reservation for dinner. Had a photographer. Everything. And then, the night before I was going to ask you, we broke up. That’s why I couldn’t tell you what was going on. It was supposed to be a surprise.”
Colette looks at him, not noticing that they were next to go down the aisle, Anthony taking Colette’s arm in his as Jax tells them to start walking. 
a candle with a long wick, uncut, the lid propped up against the glass
“Are you sure you’re ok to come to this?” Franco asks her.
Colette hesitates for a minute. She hadn’t seen him in months, so she wasn’t sure why she was being invited to his apartment. She hadn’t been to his place since he moved in over a year ago, and honestly, Colette hasn’t intended on going. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because you’ve looked like you were going to vomit since we picked you up for this?” Devyn twists her body from the front seat to face her. “We can take you back home if you want.”
Franco pulls up in front of Anthony’s new place, knowing that she couldn’t ask them now to turn around and drive the entire way to and from her place again. “No, I’ll be fine.”
Colette takes in a deep breath as Devyn and Franco get out of the car, leaving her behind in the back seat to stare up at the building they were all supposed to be heading into. There was no need for her to be this nervous. She and Anthony were friends. They talked still, occasionally. Maybe once a week. And the conversations were never more than half an hour long, just to check in, but that’s adult friendships.
Right?
She gets out of the car, jogging to catch up with her friends as they were already to the elevator. 
“You’re going to be ok, you know,” Devyn says, putting her arm around Colette.
“Yeah, we’ll kill him if you want us to.”
Devyn smacks her husband's chest with her free hand, scolding him as Colette laughs. 
She could do this. 
They make their way up to Anthony’s place, getting turned around and somehow ending up two floors above where they were supposed to be, thanks to Franco not being able to read a text message properly and upsetting one of Anthony’s elderly building neighbors. By the time they find his apartment, the place is full, their friends and Anthony’s taking up so much space they could barely move. Franco and Devyn break off from Colette, leaving her alone to scope the place out.
She wanders through his place, people in every single one of his rooms. She stumbles across what she assumes to be a guest room. It was way too neat to be Anthony’s own room, despite him always making her bed when they were together. 
Mat appears behind her, laughing at the sight of the room. “I guess it’s easy to figure out which room is Tito’s, huh?”
Colette lets out a small laugh. “I was just thinking that.” 
“How have you been?” he asks, sitting down on the bed. 
She goes to join him, sighing. “I’m at my ex’s place for the first time since we moved out of the place we got together. Clearly, I’m on top of the world.” 
“It could be worse.”
“Maybe,” she shrugs.
“Ok, what animal are you least afraid of?” Colette looks at him, confused by the non sequitur. “I’m trying to distract you.” 
“Fine, fine,” she rolls her eyes as he nudges her shoulder. “I guess fish?”
“No, I said an animal.”
“And I said a fish.”
“No, a real animal?”
“Are fish fake?”
“You can’t find a fish at a zoo. Have you heard of fish zoos?”
“Yeah, they’re called aquariums, you fucking walnut,” Colette tells him, laughing so hard she could feel pain in her sides.
“Oh. Oh, yeah,” Mat sits there for a second, looking down at his hands with a smirk on his face while Colette continues to laugh. “I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh that hard since you broke up with him.”
“This is the first time we’ve seen each other since before he and I broke up,” Colette points out once she catches her breath.
Mat sighs. “I don’t think he’s laughed as hard as you just did since you two broke up.” 
“Yeah, sure,” she says, not believing him. 
“Colette, you make him want to live as long as possible so he can have as much time sharing the planet with you as he can. He has all of your favorite things in his Notes App on his phone that he will not delete. That one picture I took of you guys way back when we all met is still one of his lock screens, again that he won’t delete. I mean, look around his whole place. You are in every corner.”
Colette shakes her head. “Come on.”
“Look at that bookcase,” Mat says, bringing her over to the other side of the room. A picture of Devyn and Franco’s wedding party is framed on one of the shelves, one where he is looking at her so lovingly that someone in passing would assume they were the ones getting married while she was looking at the camera if not for what they were wearing. Her favorite candle scents were still unlit, sitting on the shelf next to all the books she loved by Leigh Bardugo and Gillian Flynn, the same ones from when they first moved in together, their spines now noticeably more worn, the copies loved by someone who had to have read them multiple times. She picked up the copy of Ninth House, seeing his writing in it and comments saying things like ‘remember when you said this to me?’ or ‘this has to be your favorite scene because’ left unfinished. 
“He was writing these to me,” she realizes, not noticing Mat leaving the room.
“Of course I was,” Anthony says, her turning around so fast she loses her grasp on the book in her hands to send it falling to the floor. “I can’t really read these books anymore without thinking of you.”
“Why do you still have them all then?”
Anthony looks at the book on the floor. “How could I get rid of them?”
The two of them stand there in silence for what feels like forever. She wasn’t used to having Anthony in front of her and barely being able to find the words to say to him. She hated herself for losing him, but how could she have kept him? Colette takes in a deep breath. “We made a mistake breaking up, didn’t we?”
Anthony nods, shrugging. “Yeah, probably.” 
“I don’t think we could ever go back, either.” Anthony sighs, opening his mouth to say something when Colette cuts him off. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
“I think I’m still in love with you, but we can’t be together. We don’t trust each other,” Colette hears herself say, shocked at the words that come out of her.
Anthony closes the distance between them, taking her in his arms and hugging her so fiercely she could barely breathe. “I still love you, too.” 
The two of them pull apart, both of them crying. They knew what this was for them.
“God, this sucks,” Anthony laments.
 “It’s kind of amazing, though, isn’t it?”
“What?” Anthony asks, shock in his voice.
“How lucky we are that we got to love each other so much, that a simple goodbye could feel as devastating as this.”
two sets of eyes, one opened set, one closed set
“Don’t panic,” Addison says, Eddy rolling his eyes behind her.
“Yeah, because only good things come from people saying that,” Colette says, handing her friends the drinks she bought them. Becca was somewhere with Devyn and Franco, the six of them out together for one of their increasingly rare nights when they could all be together without having to worry about anything outside the building they were in. 
“She thinks she saw some of Anthony’s teammates,” Eddy explains, guiding them back to the rest of their friends. 
Colette rolls her eyes, looking back to her friend who had already downed more than half her drink. She knew that Addison had a drunken habit of mistaking strangers for people she actually knew, or thought she knew. Just because she thought she saw some of his teammates, that didn’t actually mean anything. “I think we can save the panic for when we know we see him, instead.” 
“You’re already panicking about seeing him again?” Becca asks, overhearing only the last part of the conversation as they arrive back at the table. 
“We are talking about different people,” Colette says. “I was just with Carter last night.”
“That’s, what, almost every night that’s he’s not away for the last five months that you’ve spent the night together, isn’t it?” Devyn asks, stirring her drink with her straw.
“Yeah,” Colette sighs.
“Oh, no,” Franco groans.
“You guys seem really in to each other.” Becca points out.
“I mean, physically, it’s great. But, he just,” Colette starts, trying to figure out what to say. She knew exactly what bothered her; it was why she broke up with Anthony in the first place. “He doesn’t really know me.” 
“Holy shit,” Eddy says, nearly choking on his drink. The group follows his gaze to see that Addison was right; Anthony’s teammates were there at the bar, but so was Anthony. 
Not only was he there, but he had his arm around a girl, guiding her through the place to see if they could find an open table, the only one close to them being the one right next to them. 
“You make it worse if you freak out,” Devyn scolds him.
“Hi,” Anthony says when he sees her, standing right next to their table. 
“Hey, bud,” Eddy greets him, Franco punching him in the arm for the over enthusiasm. 
“We’re going to go get more drinks,” Becca says, all of Colette’s friends grabbing their clearly new drinks in front of them and excusing themselves from the table. 
Anthony awkwardly chuckles as they all leave, just him and Colette alone for the first time in what felt like forever. “So they haven’t changed.”
Colette felt a pit in her stomach. “You didn’t have to stop talking to them because we don’t talk that much. I mean, you were in Devyn and Franco’s wedding.”
Anthony nods, taking a sip of his drink before setting it down on the table in front of her. He was still standing awkwardly, Colette knowing that he wouldn’t ask to sit down with her. “Talking to them made me think about talking to you.”
The two of them sit in an awkward silence for a moment. 
“So who was-”
“I saw you-” they start to say at the same time, both of them letting out a laugh in hopes it would calm them down.
“You first,” Colette tells him.
“I saw you started seeing someone,” he brings up, leaning against the table as he looks down at his drink, a sad smile on his face.
Colette cringes, nodding. She forgot she still had him on her private story. “Yeah, but it won’t last much longer.”
“Oh.”
“I saw you were here with someone?” she asks, gesturing to the girl who was with his teammates.
Anthony looks over, waving at his friends and the girl. “That’s Mat’s little sister. She’s just here to visit.”
“So are you seeing anyone?”
Anthony shakes his head.
“I’m sorry,” Colette hears herself say, gesturing to him to sit down next to her.
He waves her off, taking the seat previously occupied by Franco across from her. “It’s fine. I’ll find someone else eventually.”
“No, I mean,” Colette starts, taking in a deep breath and trying to figure out what to say after all these years of not saying what she wanted to. What she should have said. They both knew they had already found each other and they let it go too soon. “I’m sorry for ending things. I’m sorry for being the reason everything fell apart. I’m sorry I didn’t show you how much I love you the way you showed me.”
Anthony looks up from his drink, confused. “What are you talking about?”
“You knew everything about me. You have my favorite books, you always knew exactly what I wanted to get when we went out to dinner before I had the chance to tell you, you know my mood based on the smallest things I do. You showed me you love me with everything. I didn’t do that for you.” 
Anthony gives her a sad smile. “You always showed me you loved me.”
“Not the way you did. I feel like I knew nothing about you the way you knew me.”
Anthony shakes his head. “You know me better than I know myself.” Colette starts to shake her head, about to dispute him when he cuts her off. “If I had a bad game, you always had a cup of tea ready for me when I got home with a note telling me how you knew I’d be fine next game. You never tried to minimize how I felt after a game and listened to everything I told you. If I had to get up early for practice or to leave for a road trip, you had my coffee ready for me before I was even awake sitting on the nightstand waiting for me, even if you hadn’t slept great the night before. I’d open my bag and find the notes you wrote for me hidden in my suit pockets so I’d have them with me in the locker room. You still text me after games to tell me you’re proud of me. You think you didn’t show me you loved me? I’ve never felt more loved by anyone before meeting you.”
“I didn’t think those things meant anything.”
“They meant everything.”
I love you
Colette walks into the studio, paper in hand. She had booked yet another appointment with her favorite artist, Eleni, months ago, going back and forth as to what she wanted. Her left arm was covered in a series of small tattoos as it was, enough space right at the start of her forearm for one last small tattoo. 
“Hey, Let,” Eleni greets her.
“Hi, Len,” she smiles back, handing her the piece of paper.
“You want the words, ‘I love you?’” Eleni asks, eyebrow cocked. Colette swallows, knowing that this was the last thing she wanted on her arm. “Whose writing is this? I know it’s not yours.”
“Anthony’s,” Colette admits after what felt like too long of a silence for it to be anyone else's. 
“Are you sure you want this?” 
Colette forces out a laugh. “Every tattoo on my arm relates to him in some way, you know that. You put them all there. The book with the sun, the solo cup, the wheel of fortune. Might as well finish it off with how we feel about each other.” 
Eleni takes in a deep breath, getting Colette ready for her tattoo. “I don’t get why you two aren’t together.”
Colette sighs. “I fucked up. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fix it. Not in a way that matters, anyway.” Eleni gives her a sad look, Colette shaking her head and waving it off. “Besides, just because you think you’re ‘meant to be’ with someone, doesn’t mean you’ll actually ‘be.’” 
79 notes · View notes
ishomieokay · 4 months
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Idolatry (Chapter 3)
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18+ 5.3k homelander x hispanic oc, age difference, manipulation, breaking and entering, stalking, obsessive behaviour. part 3/?. AO3 link. part 1, part 2
Homelander's fooling around with a perky Latina almost twenty years his junior. She's looking for a daddy. He just wants a good fuck, and maybe to mess with Maeve's head. It's not going to end well.
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The day after, it was as if nothing had happened. They were cordial but not overly friendly, maintaining a professional distance while shooting, careful in case they were overheard. From time to time, Aura María caught a glimpse of Homelander staring in her direction, but she couldn’t be sure if it was real or just a trick of her mind. She returned home late with a pounding headache, the lack of sleep and the long hours on set taking their toll.
It was Friday night, and she had no plans, which wasn’t unusual. Her party girl days were firmly behind her. Aura María felt a mixture of thankfulness and regret that things had never spiraled out of control even back then. Now, her routine was only occasionally interrupted by meetings with friends at overpriced coffee shops or the occasional night gala. Despite being relatively young, she sometimes felt inexplicably old.
She retrieved a pair of pajamas from her closet, laying them neatly on the bed next to her folded underwear, then made her way to the bathroom. She contemplated sending a text to Homelander as she sat in the tub, softly lip-syncing to a Ricardo Montaner song. Surely, permission had been granted when he provided her with his number. While his infatuation lingered, she reasoned, she could have some fun, even if that was all he wanted from her. She had no other prospects, after all.
Three years after arriving in the United States to work for Vought, Aura María still lacked a social life outside of her workplace. This was partly due to her commitment to warding off her many admirers. Cultural differences made it much more challenging to establish friendships, something she’d never excelled at even back home. She had been alone for a while and wasn’t particularly interested in changing that, especially when it came to romantic relationships.
Aura María had begun to question her sexual orientation when her 21st birthday came and went without a lover or even a fleeting interest in physical intimacy. It had occurred to her that she might be a lesbian or asexual. Homelander had proved her wrong in that regard. She did have needs, and now that they'd been satisfied, however briefly, she was aware of them in a way she'd never been before.
She took hold of her breast, retracing the path Homelander had drawn with his tongue the night before. It felt like a dream now. She decided that the barely concealed erotism of the lyrics was probably just getting to her and turned the music off. When she went back to her room, everything seemed the same at first glance. It was unusually cold, though. She turned around and realized that the window was open, but she couldn't remember whether she had closed it or not. The clothes she had neatly folded before getting into the tub were now in disarray.
She had trouble falling asleep and felt uneasy throughout the rest of the night. The cold seemed to seep into her bones. She tossed and turned, her mind replaying the events of the previous night and the strange occurrences in her room. The sense of someone having been there, the disordered clothes, and the open window gnawed at her. As she finally drifted into a restless sleep, Aura María couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.
She dreamed of Homelander's intense gaze, the sensation of his touch lingering on her skin. The night seemed to stretch on endlessly, filled with half-formed images and unsettling whispers that left her feeling more exhausted when she finally awoke.
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Aura María texted Homelander in the end. They had agreed to meet at one o'clock for lunch, but it was well past two when he finally arrived. He descended from the sky like a rocket, landing thunderously on the pavement. The impact shook the ground, sending a ripple of excitement through the crowd that quickly gathered around him. He handled the attention as gracefully as always, giving fist bumps, patting shoulders, and signing autographs. Over twenty minutes passed before he made his way to the restaurant door. The crowd didn't follow, thanks to the timely security’s timely intervention.
When he reached her table, he was smiling broadly and unapologetic. Although she couldn’t bring herself to be mad, Aura María put on a show of irritation anyway.
"So, you're the fashionably late type, huh?" she said, crossing her arms.
"Ah, not all the time. Only when the world needs saving," Homelander replied nonchalantly, taking a seat beside her.
"How convenient for you."
Aura María had more than a few sassy remarks at the tip of her tongue, but something at the corner of her eye caught her attention. The crowd had not dispersed yet. They were standing on the other side of the window facing their table, and there were news reporters and paparazzi among them. Word always traveled fast when it concerned Homelander.
Aura María felt her lips turn downward. This would probably reach Stan Edgar and the other executives at Vought. She wasn't sure how to feel about that. She had always valued her privacy and hadn't had much of an issue protecting it even after becoming a renowned filmmaker. No matter how good her work was, almost no one seemed to be interested in the personal life of a documentalist.
"Just so you know, if you were planning to keep this, whatever it is, a secret—that's not gonna work out. Not anymore."
"Who said I wanted to keep it a secret?" Homelander replied, smiling slyly at her. He took her hand then, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. Aura María felt a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth but was quick to suppress it.
"Explain it to me, won't you? Why in the world wouldn't I want everyone to know I'm dating such a dang brilliant, talented, and beautiful woman?"
'Dating,' Aura María thought, a bit bewildered. 'Am I dating Homelander?'
Assuming one was generous enough to consider meeting for drinks after work a date, this hardly counted as their third time going out. However, Aura María guessed that was the right word to describe their situation—dating. Even in the privacy of her thoughts, it sounded wrong. Never in her wildest dreams would she have dared call it anything other than a hookup or situationship at best.
"I mean, you do have a mirror at home, right? This is the kind of thing most guys would be shouting from the rooftops."
"Mmm, you're coming off strong today, aren't you?" Aura María replied, pleased but unwilling to let him have it so easy. "Sorry to say, but I think bootlicking looks awful on a man, especially if he's just doing it to get laid."
Homelander blinked at her, then laughed, seeming oddly delighted by her rudeness. He had one thing in common with all the men who've tried to woo her in the past. The banter was half the fun for him.
"O-okay, the lady's not into sweet-talking, then," Homelander leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "That's fine. I think I could change your mind about the bootlicking part, though. Maybe, mmn, broaden your horizons?"
Aura María blinked, then arched an eyebrow in disbelief. "You're not serious."
Homelander looked her up and down, the ghost of a smile playing at his lips. "If I was, would that freak you out?"
Aura was already aware of the fact that Homelander was not exactly the pedantic goody-two-shoes he pretended to be for the sake of his image. Apparently, he was into having sex while having verses of the Book of Revelation read to him. As if that weren't blasphemous enough, Aura María also had the feeling that she'd awoken in him a virginity kink. Still, this thinly veiled insinuation came as a surprise. Not for the first time, she felt oddly flattered that he would share this part of himself with her—one that he usually kept hidden under wraps.
Smiling and unwilling to back down, Aura María met him with the same energy. "I'd say I'm open to new experiences."
Homelander whistled. Then he lifted the tablecloth and made a show of leaning down to take a look at her shoes.
"Oh, shucks," he said in a disappointed, cartoonish voice. "Nah, it wouldn't work. You're wearing high heels."
"What a pity," Aura María deadpanned.
"I wear boots all the time, though. Leather," Homelander replied, dragging the 'L' obnoxiously and then winking at her. "I'd let you borrow 'em, just this once."
"I feel tricked. You're not the serious man I was led to believe."
"Chica, I walk around all day long wearing a skin-tight spandex suit and a cape. I am the very definition of an unserious man."
"Well, I can't argue with that," Aura María said, then gestured at the window with her head. The crowd was still there, although there were fewer of them now. "I think you should be more careful with what you say when out in public, though. You know what would happen if any of those news reporters found out that the Homelander is into dominatrixes? The internet would explode."
"I think you're exaggerating."
"Maybe. Parents wouldn't buy their kids those cute Homelander dolls Vought just released, though. That's for sure."
Homelander tilted his head to the side, then said very slowly, "action figures."
"What?"
"They're not dolls," Homelander corrected her with a serious face. His every word was emphasized by the tapping of his index finger against the table. "They're action figures."
After a beat, Aura María burst out laughing.
"Coño, este pana es un caso," she said, covering her face with one hand.
Homelander blinked at her, then parroted back her words but in an awful American accent, mispronouncing every syllable and clearly unaware of what he was saying. Rather than offend her, the sound of the leader of the Seven mercilessly butchering her mother language only made her laugh harder.
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Once they left the restaurant, Homelander gently scooped Aura María into his arms. He sensed her hesitation, her body tensing slightly as they rose. To keep her at ease, he flew slowly and close to the ground, weaving through the cityscape with the grace of a shadow. Aura María clung to him, her arms around his shoulders, holding tight enough to dislocate a lesser man's neck. Homelander, with his superhuman strength, barely seemed to notice.
The cacophony of the city was soon replaced by the serene whisper of leaves as they reached a secluded clearing in Central Park. The moonlight cast a silver sheen over the grass, the stars twinkling faintly above. The distant hum of traffic was a mere murmur here, overshadowed by the rustling trees and the occasional chirp of crickets. They decided to take a stroll, savoring the rare peace away from prying eyes and the relentless noise of the city.
"It's unfair, to be honest," Homelander began, breaking the comfortable silence.
"Sorry?” Aura María replied.
"You know almost everything there is to know about me. I mean, it'd be strange if you didn't, I guess, after directing a 40-minute-long documentary on me. I don't know the first thing about you, though. It's unfair, it's all I'm saying."
"What do you wanna know?"
"Where are you from? Originally, I mean."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Aura María's tone sharpened, her hackles rising defensively. Homelander, rather than offended, seemed amused by her reaction.
"Don't get me wrong, missy, you speak English better than many people who were actually born here. The accent gives it away, though. So, Venezuela, am I right? What city, though? What's it like there?"
"Oh." Aura María relaxed, her tension dissipating.
She had thought he was questioning her heritage, a common and hurtful experience. "I'm from Caracas, born and raised. It's loud and dirty and full of weirdos, like any capital. It's in the middle of a valley, though, so there's also nature and trees, lots of macaws. I grew up in the East, which most would say is the fancy part of town. Like, uh, American suburbs, I guess."
"I don't find that surprising at all."
"Please, like you don't have Old Money written all over your face."
"I should hope so. You've no idea how much Vought spend just to make it this pretty," Homelander replied, smiling teasingly down at her. His smile faltered slightly, as if he just realized he'd said something he shouldn't have. Aura María laughed it off, unsure what he meant. Had Homelander just confessed to her he'd had plastic surgery?
"My dad's a native, from a small town called Alto Orinoco. That's in the Amazonas. We look nothing alike. His maternal grandparents were from a tribe called Wayú, and apparently their Spanish was very bad," Aura María said. Although she most definitely took after her mother, someone educated in the matter could glimpse a few ethnic features in her. She had eyes dark as night, larger than average and almond-shaped, a round face with plump lips and thick hair of an intense black shade.
"My mom's from a town not far from the capital called Valencia. Her parents were Italian immigrants and racist as fuck. They disowned her when they found out she wanted to marry a Wayú. When I was little, they often came by the house, though. Once I was old enough to understand that they wanted me around because I only looked 'a little Indian,' I told them not to come back," she said, wrinkling her nose.
"Uh," Homelander said, ever so eloquent. He was staring at her strangely. "That's a... very colorful background."
"You think? Not very different from my friends' back home, though. We are all a weird mixture of something over there."
“So, interracial marriage is normal in your country?”
“I guess? I mean, we don’t really have a concept of it. To us, it’s just marriage. Obviously, there are racists, like, well…”
“Like your grandparents?”
“Yeah, like them. People from different races marrying each other is usually not a big deal for us, though. Not nowadays. I was surprised to see how much of a taboo it still is here, to be honest. You would think citizens of the so-called first world would be more open-minded.”
Homelander actually sniggered. “There’s people in this country who think the Earth is flat, María. Give us a break.”
“I guess you would know a lot about that,” Aura María replied, a glint in her eyes. “I’m pretty sure flat-earthers make up most of your fanbase.”
Homelander stared at her gravely. “There are flat-earthers among my fans. They are not the majority of them.”
“Oh. So, you would say it’s an insignificant amount, then?”
“Definitely.”
“So, if tomorrow you were at a rally and openly said that the Earth is in fact round, everything would be fine? Is that what you’re saying?”
“…no,” Homelander said, reluctantly. “It would affect my ratings. Like, a lot. Stan would have my head on a plate.”
“I thought so.”
“If I tell you something, you promise not to laugh?”
“What?”
“For the longest time, I thought Venezuela was a country in Europe.”
Aura María halted to a stop. “Please, tell me you’re joking.”
Homelander shook his head, pursing his lower lip.
“I mean, I can’t say I’ve met a lot of Venezuelans. The ones I have only dressed in designer clothes and threw 100$ bills around like they were pennies. That did not scream Third World country to me.”
Aura María frowned. “When was this?”
“Uh, 2008, I think? I was hosting a beauty pageant with Melanie Brown. You know, one of the Spice Girls? Your candidate won; I forgot her name.”
“Ah, Dayana Mendoza. Yeah, people who work at those pageants have lots of money. I should have known you only ever heard of my homeland because of Miss Universe.”
“Well, look at the bright side, chica. I may think Venezuela is a Third World communist hellhole, but at least I know that you’ve got A-tier women and not everyone’s brown. Better than a flat-earther by a long shot.”
“You’re such a fucking asshole.”
Aura María’s voice carried a mix of frustration and amusement. Homelander chuckled, a low, amused sound that rumbled in his chest. “Anyway, I guess that means we’re even,” he said, his tone casual but his expression unreadable.
“Mmn, I don’t think we are,” Aura María replied, her brows knitting together as she looked away, gathering her thoughts.
“What’s that?” Homelander asked.
“You said you wanted to know more about me because I already knew everything about you. That’s not true, though. I think most of what we filmed for that documentary was bullshit.”
Homelander’s expression shifted abruptly. The playful glint in his eyes vanished, replaced by a serious, almost steely gaze. His jaw tightened, and Aura María could feel the tension radiating from him. She realized, belatedly, that this might be one in the long list of questions she wasn’t supposed to ask.
“What makes you say that?” Homelander asked, his voice low and measured.
Aura María hesitated, feeling the weight of his stare. She forced herself to keep going, her heart pounding. “I could see it that day when we were filming the childhood segment. You know, back at Maryland?”
“Okay?” he responded, his eyes narrowing slightly as he tried to read her.
Aura María smiled awkwardly, her cheeks flushing. She could feel the heat rising to her face. “You’re gonna think it’s weird that I noticed. But, uh, during a recess, I heard you asking Madelyn where the restroom was. You also got lost a couple of times when we were filming the house tour.”
“Oh,” Homelander said, his face going blank for a moment. He looked away, his gaze focusing on the horizon as if searching for an escape from the conversation.
The trees rustled softly in the breeze. The sky was painted with hues of blue and black as the moon rose higher, casting long shadows across the grass. Aura María felt a knot in her stomach, regretting her boldness. She had hoped to pierce through his facade, to understand the man behind the mask, but now she feared she had pushed too far. The vulnerability she had glimpsed in him earlier seemed to retreat, replaced by a cold, impenetrable wall.
Homelander’s face softened slightly, though, as he met her eyes again. There was a flicker of something—maybe understanding, maybe resignation. “Aren’t you a clever one?” he said quietly. “Not many people notice those things.”
Aura María relaxed a little, relieved that he hadn’t shut her out completely. She offered a small, tentative smile. “I guess it’s my job to notice things.”
“Yeah, I suppose it is.” He nodded, a ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You’re right, of course. A lot of what’s out there about me is…curated. For the public.”
Aura María nodded slowly, feeling a pang of empathy despite her wariness. “I understand. Image is everything, especially for someone like you.”
“It’s more than that,” Homelander replied, his voice unreadable. “It’s about control. About making sure people see what Vought wants them to see.”
“And what about what you want?” Aura María asked, genuinely curious.
Homelander looked at her, his eyes searching her face as if weighing how much to reveal. “What I want doesn’t matter as much as what they need me to be.”
They continued walking in silence for a few moments, the sounds of the park around them feeling comforting despite the tension. Aura María could see revelation before her eyes, a glimpse of truth in a world of illusions. Although all of her instincts were telling her to change the subject, she would herself digging for more. “You know,” she said softly, “I was thinking about what happened that day. With the blanket.”
Homelander's face tightened, a shadow passing over his usually composed features. "Right. You were there."
"When you got Randy fired? Yeah, I was there." Aura María's tone was gentle, trying to tread carefully on what was clearly a sensitive subject.
Homelander didn’t look sheepish at all. He raised one eyebrow, his gaze unwavering and intense, as if waiting for a reaction.
"Relax," Aura María was quick to say, sensing his defensive stance. "He was a shitty producer. I was glad to see him gone."
"Ah, see? I was looking out for you, even then," Homelander said with a smile, pointing at the tip of her nose with his index finger in a playful gesture.
"Sure you were," Aura María replied, flashing him a teasing smile. She knew what he was doing—trying to steer the conversation elsewhere. She decided to press on, determined to get to the truth. "What was it?"
"Uh?" Homelander feigned ignorance, though his eyes betrayed a hint of unease.
"What got you so upset that day? I mean, if it was just about Randy getting his crusty ass hands on your blanky, I understand. I don't like it when people touch my stuff either. But I got the feeling that there was something else going on."
Homelander stayed quiet, his jaw clenched.
"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it," Aura María said softly, trying to give him an out.
"It was nothing, really. It just... brought back bad memories," he finally admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I'm gonna ask you a question. Can you promise to answer it truthfully?" Aura María's voice was steady, but her heart pounded in her chest.
"It depends on the question," Homelander replied, his tone guarded.
"Did you really grow up in that house?"
"No," he said simply, the word hanging heavily in the air.
Aura María remembered Homelander talking about his mother's perfect cake, eyes full of love and reverence, only for him to go completely blank-faced the minute the cameras stopped rolling. A void formed in the pit of her stomach, though she wasn't sure why. "Was anything of what we filmed that day real? Anything at all?"
Homelander just shook his head, his lips pulling downward. He looked like a child being scolded, vulnerable and exposed.
"And the blanket?" she asked gently.
Homelander hesitated, then. Aura María put her hand over his, waiting patiently. He stared at their joined hands for a strangely long time.
"Only real thing on that set," he said finally. "It pissed me off that they would put it there without even asking."
Aura María understood then. It had angered him to see something real among all the fakery. She tilted her head to the side, considering him. There were only a few reasons she could think of to completely fabricate the background of a world-renowned celebrity, and none of them were very nice. What was Vought trying to hide?
"You come from a bad place, don't you, John?" she asked softly, using his real name for the first time.
He raised sharp eyes to look at her, the vulnerability in his gaze taking her by surprise. She had never seen him like this—so hesitant and out of his depth. "I don't want to talk about it."
"That's okay. You don't have to," she replied, her voice soothing.
Homelander stayed quiet, something about his expression making her heart ache. The tough facade he usually wore seemed to crack, revealing a glimpse of the man beneath the superhero persona.
"Aw, I'm sorry, papi," she murmured, kissing his cheek gently and laying her head on his shoulder. "I wasn't trying to make you sad."
"It's fine," Homelander said, though his voice lacked its usual confidence.
The embrace was tentative at first. Aura María could feel the tension in his muscles, the residual wariness that made him hold back. But as the seconds ticked by, he seemed to relax into her, his grip tightening. She pressed her cheek against his chest, the warmth of his body radiating through the thin fabric of his suit. She could hear the steady, powerful beat of his heart.
The sun had dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the park and turning the sky into a canvas of deep blues and purples. Homelander and Aura María walked side by side, the cool evening air brushing gently against their skin. The city’s distant hum was a comforting background noise, reminding them that despite the surreal peace of the park, the world outside continued to churn.
"You followed me that day," Homelander said suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.
"Uh?" Aura María glanced at him.
"When I walked out, you went looking for me. No one else did. I mean, there was Madelyn, but she... she only wanted me to keep filming, yaknow? She didn't really care about me."
Aura María had heard the rumors about Madelyn Stillwell's involvement with Homelander. Although it didn't seem like the right time to ask, she couldn't help but wonder. It had always seemed odd to her that America's most-sought-after-bachelor would set his eyes on a woman known around the whole metropolitan area to be a moody two-faced narcissist. Aura María was certainly not glad to learn about her sudden passing, but in all honesty, she much preferred to deal with Ashley Barrett. Despite her often-neurotic behavior, at least there was something human about her.
"You, though? You walked up to me when I was going back to the set, and you said... you said that you were sorry if your crew did something to upset me. That I didn't have to keep going if I didn't want to."
"Oh, yeah. I remember." Aura Maria’s expression softened, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
"It's not common, you know? For people in this industry to be kind. Genuinely kind, no ulterior motives."
"No, I guess it's not," she replied, her tone thoughtful.
Aura María understood what he meant at once. Entertainment was not for everybody. She'd learned that the hard way and she'd already been a full-grown adult when she started working for Vought. Homelander had made his debut when he was only eighteen years old. She couldn't even imagine what growing up in that environment would do to a teen. Aura María wondered if that was the reason he asked her out—a small act of kindness she barely even remembered.
She could still recall that day vividly. They had been filming at a grand estate in Maryland, a faux representation of Homelander's childhood home. The house was opulent, with perfectly manicured lawns and an aura of artificial nostalgia. The set was bustling with activity, lights and cameras everywhere, creating an atmosphere that was both chaotic and meticulously controlled.
He had felt overwhelmed at some point, though at the time she had not been ablet o certain why. After what had been labeled by the crew as The Blanket Incident, he’d walked out into the expansive backyard, seeking a moment of solitude. Aura María remembered the feeling of the cool grass beneath her feet as she followed after him, the way the breeze had whispered through the trees, offering a fleeting sense of peace.
Then, out of nowhere, she spotted Homelander coming back from the barn. His presence, normally so commanding, had been almost sullen that day. A look she hadn’t expected from someone so larger-than-life. She had approached him with a concerned look in his eyes, and although her words had been simple, apparently, they had stayed with him. She had offered him an out, a rare moment of empathy in an industry that often lacked it.
Aura María had wondered awhile back if it was a good idea to go out with such a high-profile celebrity, even if only for one night. With a man so different from her, both in social and economic standing. It had been so very intimidating and still was. She was happy she said yes, though.
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It felt strange to let him into her bedroom. She'd had people over before, but it was not quite the same. As Homelander stepped inside, Aura María suddenly became acutely aware of every little detail she'd never given a second thought to before. The stuffed animals she brought from Caracas because she couldn't bear parting with them, the Studio Ghibli posters that lined the walls, the TikTok LED lights she bought during an online shopping frenzy and never took down.
She cringed inwardly, realizing for the first time that her room could easily belong to a middle schooler. Homelander didn’t comment on it, though. He just stared down at her, eyes intent and gleaming in the low light of the room.
"I think we are overdressed, aren't we?" he said with a half-smile, a playful glint in his eye. "Take it off, come on."
Aura María bit into her lower lip, then proceeded to remove her dress. She crumpled it into a ball and threw it on the bed. Homelander was having none of that, though. He tsked at her, shaking his head slightly.
"Ah-ah, pick it up," he said, wiggling his finger. Aura María frowned, feeling a mixture of annoyance and curiosity, but still did as she was told. "Fold it, then put it in the drawer."
"You're into very weird stuff, you know?" she muttered, her voice tinged with a mix of amusement and nervousness.
"'Course not. I just don't like making a mess."
"Sure, that's all this is," she said, rolling her eyes as she took off her underwear and folded it along with the dress, placing them neatly on the bed.
"That's better."
Homelander approached her slowly, his gaze roaming over her body, making her skin prickle with anticipation. He put both hands over her breasts and squeezed them lightly. Aura María took a deep breath, already feeling the first stirrings of pleasure run through her. His touch was firm yet gentle, sending waves of warmth through her body.
His hands traveled down, caressing her sides, then her hips, and finally stopping at her ass. He squeezed her buttocks, then pulled her closer so that they were chest to chest. Aura María put her arms around him and leaned forward to kiss him. The apartment was deadly quiet, only the soft noises of their kissing and the erratic beating of her heart could be heard. It was embarrassing, really, how worked up she'd gotten after he'd barely touched her.
It made sense in a way, though. He was, after all, her sexual awakening. Aura María found it weird and sort of embarrassing that it would finally happen in her mid-twenties. Talk about a late bloomer, she thought wryly. But there was no denying the chemistry between them, the way his mere presence seemed to ignite something deep within her.
As their kiss deepened, Homelander's hands continued their exploration, making her skin tingle with every touch. The LED lights cast a soft, colorful glow around them. Homelander pulled back slightly, his breath warm against her lips. "You’re beautiful," he whispered, his voice husky with desire.
A shiver ran down Aura María's spine. She felt exposed, vulnerable, but also incredibly alive. She looked into his eyes, seeing a mixture of lust and something deeper, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
"Thank you," she whispered back, her voice barely audible.
They moved to the bed, Homelander guiding her gently. As they lay down, he continued to explore her body with his hands and mouth, each touch sending sparks of pleasure through her. Aura María's mind was spinning. She felt a connection with him that went beyond the physical, a sense of understanding and mutual need. In the quiet of her bedroom, surrounded by the remnants of her past and the promise of something new, Aura María let herself be swept away by the moment. She surrendered to the sensations, the intimacy, and the overwhelming feeling of being seen and desired.
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sodaabaa · 4 months
Text
to flee or not to flee, part one
anthony bridgerton x OC what happens when a charming and determined viscount courts someone whose worst fear is to marry a man like him?
tropes: damsel in distress, innocent and shy mc, slow burn,
tw: mentions of domestic abuse, angst, anxiety, slight misogyny/patriarchal concepts
masterlist
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Dearest gentle reader, 
The ton is abuzz with a new season filled with young, flowering debutantes making their dazzling debuts at the Queen’s ball, anxious mamas vying for a chance to secure their children’s future, and of course, the excitement that surrounds our beloved marriage mart. This season, it seems the eldest Bridgerton boy will finally be seeking a wife at the ripe age of nine and twenty. Who will be the flower to catch the eye of the ton’s most eligible bachelor, one Viscount Bridgerton this season? 
Yours truly,
Lady Whistledown. 
Annalise scanned the bumbling room while the string quartet played quietly in the corner. Her fingers reach for a stray piece of thread on her bodice, twisting and twirling to calm her nerves. This would not be her first season out as a woman of marriageable age but alas, it was nerve-wracking as it had been then. Perhaps, even more – as the attention of all the ton would be on the glimmering, newly minted ladies eager to catch the eye of the Queen and the plethora of bachelors – leaving little room for a girl in her second season out. At one and twenty years, Annalise teetered on the edge of becoming desolate. Her prospects would be sparse, her pick limited to the less desirable men of the marriage mart. Despite this probability, she found herself in no rush to be tied down to a man, deep inside she knew that marriage was but a transfer from one cage to another. 
She made her way towards the emerald green wall as people ushered in, eager to get away from the buzz of the crowd. The quartet picked up as people began finding dance partners. She stuck to the wall, hoping she blended in enough to avoid notice. Luckily, her brother, Thomas, was distracted in conversation with a few of his friends and thus, did not see her attempt at hiding. Despite her hopes of invisibility, she was indeed seen by one eligible bachelor. 
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Anthony pushed through the bunches of gawking mothers and gossiping ladies, his mind set on one goal: find the perfect girl to marry. She must be of equal or lesser status, she must be intelligent enough to hold a conversation, and she must be attractive of course, one could not tolerate holy matrimony for life with someone one did not find attractive. He was nearing thirty and thought it wise to finally take a wife – a decision that nearly made his mother jump with joy. 
His brow furrowed in determination as he entered the emerald-walled ballroom, assessing the debutants. His gaze brushed over the eager, bright-faced girls and mentally made a list of who to approach and who to avoid at all costs. His eyes followed along the farthest wall, taking in the gaggle of girls until he fixed on one in particular. She was striking, not quite the Queen's diamond, but certainly the most mesmerizing of all the women he’d seen in all his years. Her slight shoulders caved in as if to hide her frame. Her brown eyes flitted across the room, refusing to rest in a single place as she fidgeted with the bodice of her lilac gown. She looked as if she were ready to flee at a moment’s notice, like a bird taking flight at the sound of footsteps. Anthony would start with her as the string quartet picked up in pace, signaling the start of the festivities.
“Would you happen to have space on your card for a dance, Miss…?” Anthony asked her as he approached her. The girl's flittering gaze landed on him, taking in his invasion of her presumed invisibility. Her eyes widened and her lips pursed, considering whether she could flee. 
“I suppose so, my lord” She stuttered. 
“Very well, shall we?” He asked, holding his hand out for her to take. 
She simply nodded, taking his hand rather reluctantly. She glanced to her side, at a man not much older than Anthony himself. The man nodded his permission and she returned her gaze to Anthony. 
“Your brother, I presume? He’s far too young to be your father.”
“Yes, my lord. Baron Thomas Carrington.” 
“And you are?”
“Annalise Carrington.” 
“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Annalise. A most lovely name.” Anthony said. Hoping she would show some indication of interest in the man before her.
She only smiled, following him as he led the dance. This girl, no older than twenty, vexed Anthony instantly. A rare exception to the plethora of women he had easily bedded. He was, after all, a rake. All of them fell to his charm with ease, ladies of finer breeding and lesser all the same. Annalise looked as though she could not be any more impatient to leave his grasp and return to the wall like a fly. 
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Annalise was shocked at her ability to muster the courage to get through the dance with Anthony Bridgerton, a viscount, with a reputation well known to everyone in the ton. He was a rake, a rogue, and the most eligible bachelor of the season as he was finally seeking a wife. Annalise knew to be cautious of the viscount. 
“What do you do in your spare time, Miss Carrington?” His voice snapped her out of her thoughts. His gaze had not left her face since they began dancing.
She cleared her throat, hoarse with disuse, “I like to read, my lord. Anything I can get my hands on.” 
It was the truth. As a child, she had a penchant for reading tales of heroism, tragedy, and romance but unlike others, her curiosity always got the best of her, often going through periods of intense interest in a topic before finding a new topic to obsess over. 
Her response caused the viscount’s eyebrows to raise in amusement. 
“Anything? For example?” He mused.
“I am not too sure I can think of an answer at the moment, my lord.” Her cheeks flushed, silently berating herself for her lack of preparation. 
He simply nodded, his eyes scanning the room, giving Annalise a moment of respite to gather herself. As they continued to waltz around the room, a topic came to mind.
“The Renaissance.”
Anthony’s eyes snapped back to her face, “pardon?”
“The Renaissance has been a subject of interest, recently. Particularly the influence of the Medici family of Florence, they were bankers who held much influence on the city…” she trailed off, catching herself before rambling on. 
“Fascinating, Miss Carrington. Are you aware that four popes of the Catholic church were of the Medici family?” 
She nodded enthusiastically, “Pope Leo the Tenth, Pope Clement, Pope Pius, and Pope Leo the Eleventh” she listed.
Anthony chuckled at her quick response, “You surely do know your Medici history. It is rare to find someone, let alone a woman, to be so accurate about obscure knowledge as you are.” 
His remark should have flattered her, instead it felt patronizing. 
“Perhaps women would not surprise you if they were allowed to study ‘obscure’ topics such as history more often” she retorted. 
“I did not mean-” He paused, taking a breath to collect himself, “I have always encouraged my sisters to pursue knowledge. God almighty is witness to the freedom I've allowed them for they have become quite spirited and intelligent young women. I simply meant it is not a fact many know off the top of their head, even my own sisters.” 
She nodded. Suddenly aware of their proximity and her behavior with the viscount.
“Apologies, my lord. I did not mean to cause offense.”
He chuckled, “You did not offend me, Miss Carrington. I raised four sisters, each more mischievous than the last so believe me when I say I am quite accustomed to having insults thrown my way.” 
“That is most unfortunate, my lord.” 
“Indeed it is. Though I hope you do not make a habit of trying to wound my pride.” 
Warmth crept up her cheeks, “I do not, my lord.”
He only smiled, pleased with the blush his words resulted in. She cleared her throat, trying to settle her nerves and gather the composure needed to get through the rest of the dance when she saw her brother glowering at her over the viscount’s shoulders. The room suddenly felt smaller as her head began to spin with anxiety.
“Miss Carrington, are you alright?”
“I’m sorry, my lord. If you would excuse me.” She curtsied, not waiting for his permission to leave, and turned away from the viscount. 
She returned to her brother's side who grabbed her forearm, squeezing an already sore spot. 
"Do not embarrass me, Annalise. The first man to ask for a dance and you're already blushing like a schoolgirl. If you do not compose yourself, so help me God, I will set up a match for you myself" he scolded, Annalise flinched with each enunciated word. 
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“Good morning, Lord Bridgerton” his butler said, spreading apart the dark satin curtains quicker than he could process, the light overwhelming Anthony’s sleep-filled eyes. He grumbled his response, turning his back to the bright light. 
“The Viscountess is calling on you for breakfast, my lord.” 
“Yes, yes. I’ll be down in a moment.” He said, signaling to the door for the man to leave Anthony’s chambers. 
The butler left, leaving Anthony to himself. He could not sleep last night. His thoughts consumed by the Carrington girl. She was odd. Interesting, certainly. He barely had the opportunity to understand her better before she abandoned him on the dance floor, leaving mid-song. Viscount Anthony Bridgerton was abandoned on the dance floor. He scoffed, there's a first for everything. He rose from the bed, throwing off his duvet and grabbing his robe. No matter. He would get several more chances to get to know her. 
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“What did Viscount Bridgerton ask you last night?” her brother scolded her. It was not unusual to have him scold her about her behavior with suitors. Scolding was not what she feared, it was his temper, his hands that quickly lost control when confronted with rage. 
“He asked for my name and my hobbies, brother. That is all. He was kind. I returned the kindness” She replied.
“I recall you leaving him on the dance floor, I hardly see how that can be seen as kindness.” His voice raised at the end of that sentence. Her fingers found the bottom of her palm, rubbing her hand in an attempt to self-soothe. 
“It was nearly the end of the dance and I was beginning to feel uneasy, I apologize for my behavior brother. It will not be repeated.” She said softly, fearing that the wrong choice of words would set him off in a fit of unstoppable rage as he did in the past. He sighed, rising from his seat.
"I have business to attend to, take Betsy as your chaperone to the ton picnic. Be on your best behavior" He warned. Annalise nodded and with that, she was left to herself, like always. 
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Dearest reader.
The Queen’s ball was a smashing success! Her Majesty has named Edwina Sharma as this season’s diamond. Bachelors and mamas, do be sure to pay her a visit as soon as you are able, for she is sure to be booked and busy with flattering suitors crowding her drawing room already. In other news, it seems our beloved Viscount Bridgerton was seen dancing with many a lady but only one had the gall to leave him standing on the ballroom floor! The season and its scandals are only beginning, my dear readers…
Yours truly,
Lady Whistledown
The spring breeze kissed Annalise’s skin, pulling her back to reality as she stepped out of her carriage and onto the fields of Stowe Park where the day’s promenading was set to take place. As she walked towards the tents set up for respite from the heat of the sun, her brows furrowed in notice of passerbys looking at her, whispering and nodding as if to say, “yes, she’s the one!” The hairs on her arm rose, where did this newly bestowed attention come from? She reached the tent and saw a stack of papers, grabbing one out of curiosity. Her eyes took in the words, reaching to the bottom of Lady Whistledown’s latest recollection of last night’s events.
Annalise choked on a breath. Her behavior last night with Lord Bridgerton had not gone unnoticed. Of course, it hadn’t, nothing sneaked past the vicious Whistledown. She tried to take a deep breath, recollecting herself before her nerves could get the best of her. Just as she let out a sigh, she heard a deep, velvety voice.
“I see you have read the latest Whistledown.”
Startled, she jumped, “Oh! Yes, I suppose. My apologies, Lord Bridgerton. I had not meant for this to cause any disrespect to you, I simply needed to-” 
He waved a hand, interrupting her frantic apology, “It’s quite alright. I do not care for the busybody gossips and their rumors.” He smiled at her, putting Annalise at ease. His smile was genuine, almost paternal, warm. It made her heart ache for something that could never be.
“I am sorry nonetheless, it was not my proudest moment.” She looked down at her feet, wishing she could escape the warmth of the viscount’s gaze.
“Well, then I suppose this means you owe me.” The lilt in his tone made her eyes snap back at the man before her, he had a devilish look in his eyes. It made Annalise feel rather faint. 
“Care to take a stroll in the park, Miss Carrington?” He offered an arm.
She gently reached out in acceptance. She did not know how to react to this sudden interest in her, by a viscount no less. 
“Is there no other girl that has caught your attention, my lord?” She asked as they walked out of the tent and onto the park’s trail.
“Do you wish to be rid of my attention, Miss Carrington? Perhaps, you would like to remain a wallflower?” He mused, gently taunting her about her wall-sticking habits.
“I-, Well I suppose one cannot be a wallflower indefinitely. But, I’m simply curious. After I left you so rudely last night, I did not expect you would care to see me again.” 
“You interest me, Miss Carrington. As I said last night, you are most peculiar among your peers. One should get to know someone who stands out, do you not agree?” 
She pondered for a moment, gathering a response while the viscount looked at her in anticipation. 
“I suppose so, my lord.” She said simply.
“Back to curt answers, I see. I had hoped we were past that.” He paused but did not give her a chance to respond before he asked her, “Tell me about yourself, aside from your interest in obscure facts.” 
Her lips quirked up at his remark but she had not a clue how to respond. They continued their walk through the park, passing along the riverside.
“I suppose there is not much to say, my lord. My parents passed when I was a child and my brother has taken care of me ever since.”
Anthony nodded, “I am sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is…” he paused, “Difficult.” 
She nodded, “I don’t remember them very much though, all I recall is my mother’s lullabies and my father reading me stories. I suppose my love of reading comes from him. You lost your father as well, it must have been worse, to lose him at the age you did.” She said, deflecting the subject of the conversation to him.
“It was.” He said bluntly, she saw him go elsewhere in his mind. Recalling his father’s death no doubt.
They walked in silence for a moment, passing by the other couples with interlocked arms trying their best to charm each other.
“Do not assume I did not notice you trying to weasel out of my attention, Miss Carrington.” Just like that, his devilish gaze was back. 
“I didn't mean to, my lord.” 
“I’m confident you did not.” He replied, not sounding all too convinced of her intentions.
“What about your brother, I’m sure he dotes on you as you are the only family he has?” 
Her heart sank. She could never prepare herself for questions about her relationship with her brother. He was much older than her, being three and twenty when their parents passed and now nearing forty years of age. She often wondered if he blamed her for their passing or maybe he blamed her for his life being snatched away. Their parents' death forced him to become the sole provider of their family, he no longer had the time to take his studies further, nor did he marry. He became cold, distant and consumed with his work to keep a roof over their heads. Their father was a lowly baron with little land and less income. Her brother had to work the fields himself often since they could barely afford a groundskeeper, much less a staff to man the fields. His stress mixed with his grief turned to anger and Annalise became the outlet. Any disobedience, mischief or grievance became fuel to his anger. She learned early on how to avoid his fits of rage but her efforts were not enough to stay entirely clear of his wrath.
“He is…preoccupied, typically. He works the grounds himself and has to manage the estate as well.” She said, trying to keep her response short and vague.
Anthony seemed to understand that her brother did not show her much affection. 
“I’m sorry, I assumed he would dote on you. I was fortunate to see the way my own father doted on us and when he passed, I wanted to make sure my sisters did not feel the lack of his love. Or at least I attempt to.”
Annalise looked at him in surprise. She had not assumed the furrow-browed, rakish viscount would be one to dote on anyone. She did not know what to say. Perhaps not all men were of the same nature as her brother? And perhaps, she could find some semblance of safety with a man like the viscount. She quickly pushed these thoughts away as they were replaced with stomach-churning anxiety. All it took was one bad day, a wrong word, or a stressful time at work, for a man to become an entirely different person. She could not let her guard down around any man, much less one with power. 
Their promenade came to an end as they walked back around to the tent and she bid the viscount goodbye, making a mental note to keep her walls risen around the silver-tongued viscount.
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hocuspocusbabyy · 4 months
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A ring of bright light: Chapter 1. ‘It’s happening again.’
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Eloise Bridgerton x Female OC.
Description: Eloise Bridgeton is to marry Lord Brennan this upcoming season, following a residency at her familiar home Aubery House. Their betrothal is to be announced in two months. If all goes to plan…
Warnings: None?
Word count: 1k (just an opener don’t panic loves.)
Next Chapter
Eloise tightened her gloved hands on the balcony wall, partially to resist the temptation to leap ahead and greet those who waited on the other side and partially to wake herself from the nightmare to come.
Winter air cools against her skin, the long gown doing little against the harsh country noir exterior that was Aubrey House at night. Buried deeply into the evergreen stitch of her corset, her heartbeat ragged against the confinement. If birds were not built for cages, surely the same logic would be applied to herself? Bare feet making a swift sloshing sound aggravating the gravel below, debris digging into the pads of flesh deeper than any weapon she had known before.
The gardens seemed alive with light as every inch of ground bubbled with people and for a fleeting moment, as more carriages approached the castle. A warmth raised within her chest as undeniable anxiety, familiarity. Turning her back to the on coming guests, the small of her back pressed deadly against the barrier. Shadows filtered through the historic windows, as the dust licked walls still seemed to cling onto the fleeting light of Friday as though an old friend they had yet to have finished talking to. A shaking breath escaped the mouth, caught in a brief moment of admiration towards the dripping sun - for out of all the fires she had seen this hideously biblical form was one she had grown fond of; or rather the flashes of red from within its last moments as through snippets of the passing day mere memories now. Only the future night was imminent.
She was running unusually late, she could tell by the main entrance to the building growing peacefully desolate; as the other inhibitors congregated within the ballroom. Her eyes squeezed shut, desperately clinging to those final moments of silence.
“You’re not considering jumping are you?” A voice asked the approaching footsteps drew closer, heart edging to her throat.
“What would that help? Death has no use for me yet, although I do wish he would.”
“What makes you so sure death is a man?” The voice asked again, their body finding rest beside Eloise.
“Surely only a man could be so cruel, as to hover such a fate in my peripherals.”
“I see.” The voice hummed as though mulling the conversation, “And clearly you see so much with your eyes practically melted closed.” Eloise’s laughter was a welcome sight to her visitor, the brunette's eyes finally opening as her head found rest against the woman’s shoulder. Her mother – Violet. A buoyant woman; complimented heavily by her Angelically crow-like features - coils of ash tamed in a formal updo so different to the style had grown accustomed to as she usually pottered away her hours within the castle greenhouse. Fingers never without the soil beneath them, a relationship with a ghastly old nail brush that lay upon the kitchen sink heavily established. She'd always lecture upon the importance of soil, on how each particle of the earth somehow held its own story and origins - for soil had seen more love, more pain than any human. As she'd place lumps of the material within their hands "Rub it in then the memories never leave you".
It was reminiscent of her father, of his death. Violet hadn’t allowed anyone to tend to the lilacs since.
“Is everyone here?” Eloise asked after a moment, basking in the comfort of her material figure.
“All the ducks are in rows my dear, now they await a leader.”
“You’re their leader.” mumbled the familiar scent of gardenia flowing past her, upon the open air.
“Now for long my little swan.” Violet sighed, a perfectly delicate hand raising to card its way through the princess’ hair.
“Is he here?”
“Your suitor? Yes dear unfortunately for you he has shown” The queen laughed hoping to lighten her daughters mood.
"We have a nasty habit involving men in this family" her mother would often say whilst winking at her father Edmund across the room. He had passed on almost ten years ago; he'd been the best hug giver and secret magician, never failing to pull a coin from an awaiting child's ear. A sometimes overbearingly traditional yet progressive man, his head still surprisingly full of hair till the day of his early demise. Collins is seemingly thinning already.
His passing had wrecked the family. His wife, all the more scornful and ironically loving; the clone of her mothers, and the replica of herself - Lady Violet was no elementary being, her voice like bathwater, every syllable effortless and wise. She played the piano as though it were second nature to breathe air; embraced few but loved many under the guise of something to be feared. Eloise’s most loved and favoured person in the entire world… unless you asked Benedict.
Then there was Eloise, Lou and 'Flower' on the not too rare occasion, for as her mother was prone to say and the people continued, was the "one of the most precious examples of life to ever grow within these gardens.” with her uncontrollable ripples of dark hair, ill radiance and sea filled eyes, the procurement of two fine specimens to create the most poorly formed swan the world was ever to behold.
“I wish he were here.” Eloise mumbled gently, Violet’s lips falling to kiss the crown of her head.
“I know my dear, as do I.”
Father had died in these very Gardens during her seventh year. Leaving behind Anthony as the elder brother to ascend the house.
“Come now. Best to hit the ground running, keeping your guests waiting is a terrible introduction.” Violet stated, stepping towards the balcony doors.
The set of grand doors that almost shook with vigour with the level of presence behind it, the noise and voice of many locked behind it. Eloise came to her mother’s side – she could not run from this, this was her home.
The doors were opened with one swift movement of the awaiting footmen, revealing a ballroom, many familiar inhibitors of the neighbouring families huddled around in festivities, laughing. Drinks not far from hand, and children in clear scheming mode begging their respective guardians to stay up late; while others could be seen playing games in each corner, the low light shining on each face – new and old.
“Introducing The Dowager Viscountess Bridgerton and Miss Eloise Bridgerton.”
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Dating Sam Wilson Headcanons
Sam is perfection. He's the perfect boyfriend anyone could ever ask for.
He's kind, he's brave, he's absolutely in love with you, he knows how to take care of you.
People underestimate him. It's obvious, since he hangs out with super soldiers like Steve and Bucky, but you're very happy for Sam, your boyfriend. You love Sam for what he is, you appreciate his abilities honestly, and give him credit where it's due.
Sam pretends to be happy and confident all the time, but you can see beneath his charming exterior.
He has insecurities, has low confidence, and a lot of self-doubt. He's an Avenger, and a lot of things come with that. You always try to reassure him that what he's doing is enough, and that he's more than enough, sometimes it convinces him, sometimes it doesn't.
His love language is acts of service. He's the kind of person who'd do anything to reduce your work, and try his best to keep you stress-free and happy.
Sam likes to talk to you. He's always trying to make you laugh, and he bear it when you, the love of his life, is sad. He'll do anything to make you happy.
You have your highs and lows, and each time, he's there to support you.
Sam's great at giving a pep talk, since he was like a counselor to war veterans. But for you, he adds personal touch, and gives you real, useful advices instead of painting pictures in thin air.
You two watch a lot of movies together, and Sam spends a large time explaining to you how unrealistic the action scenes are. You bite your tongue every time and try not to remind him of the fact that he's an Avenger, and fights like that too.
People try to tell you that you can do better than Sam, or in exact words, 'why Sam Wilson? why didn't you go for Captain America or his hot friend?'. You get tired of telling people that it's Sam you love, and you don't have eyes for anyone else.
Sometimes, when Sam hears this, he gets upset. A part of him believes that you deserve far more than what he has to offer, but you dismiss his doubts by saying that it's him you love and him you want.
Your boyfriend is a hero not only for millions, but also for you. But his hero is you, his beloved partner.
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balteredsworld · 3 months
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masterlist! ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
below you'll find all work pertaining to ships, gifs, and fics produced by me!
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house m.d. 🥼🩺
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if you can fake sincerity, you can pretty much fake anything.
my mistake, gregory house — you should've known better, but don't. you were pathetically in love with house.
cha cha chase, gregory house — house finds out you're a dancer.
turning point, gregory house — you and house despise each other. today's supposed to be any other night, but house kisses you.
wilson's hypothesis, gregory house — according to wilson, house likes you and you like him. so, house confronts you with wilson’s hyposthesis.
negotiations, gregory house — house would rather fight you, but negotiates a date to the gala as a truce.
upcoming:
in new york, gregory house — mid make out session, wilson walks in and finds out has a you for a girlfriend.
pulse of verse, gregory house (series) — when a poet becomes a patient, house lets the team in on the secret he once dated you: the poet laureate whose poems he inspired. years later, you take up a teaching job at the university.
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the queen's gambit ♟️💄
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take it. it's your game.
an illicit affair, bethov — ch 1, ch 2, ch 3
losing is not option, bethov gif set
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bridgerton 🦢🐝
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after passion cools and fate intervenes, who else is a woman left with but herself?
an affinity, anthony bridgerton x oc! — ch 1
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mschievousx · 4 months
Text
now and then | b.b.
pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc, anthony bridgerton x ofc (platonic)
summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.
series masterlist
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v. five: lonely in your company
the young silva did not expect this at all. yes, lady whistledown wrote about quite a lengthy chat that the viscountess silva had with a certain son of the renowned pathologist, sir astley cooper, yesterday. but, for the rest of the gentlemen to flock her now? she was aghast.
while we have so far seen how she loves being in the bridgertons' companies and how she openly enjoy the things she finds fun, it is also as open she shows her distaste to the rest of the population—probably better that we haven't seen that part yet.
"i heard you like chocolates, lady silva."
"i believe we share the same interest in mechanical science."
"we have quite the collection of guns ourselves, my lady."
"a convention in astronomy is happening in the near future. if i may be so bold to have your presence when the time comes?"
honestly, she liked the last offer—had the man been fifteen years younger. it would have not mattered to her though, if only it was benedict.
the men continued to force their offers on her face. a man pulls another to the back to have his turn. a man pushed his bouquet forward. a man yelled his offer from the back. a man—
"excuse me, gentlemen. may i have a moment with the lady?"
a woman's voice stood out from the clamor, causing the men to turn and giving a space for her to take a hold of the younger one.
the ladies did not wait for the men's responses as they easily linked arms and walked away. although they could not do anything seeing as causing a scene in the queen's presence is not to everyone's benefit, they did groaned and cursed that a viscountess got away from their grasps.
"i cannot thank you enough for that, lady arnold."
loraine spoke gratefulness, her mood still marred from the encounter.
"you know there is no need for that. you act like we do not know each other." the widowed woman warmly smiled at her as she gave a squeeze on the silva's shoulder.
"i am simply grateful," she insisted, followed by a scoff, "i talk to another man and the rest of them think they could."
lady arnold chuckled at her stubborness, "i see, you still have not stopped using your father to fend off possible suitors?"
"i fend them off with anything i can. a gun, if i must."
the older woman said an immediate shush as if on reflex, something akin to a fear of being heard about using guns on suitors—although she herself would love to do so, "do you carry?"
"oh, no. the regular size is too heavy and bulky to conceal in a dress." raine said with clear annoyance that she could not carry one conveniently, "i am currently working on a smaller one."
do note that she already finished one.
at the mention of her creating a smaller version just simply because she would like to hide one made her look staggered at the young one, "and yet, you refuse to join the discussion inside."
lady silva moaned in displeasure, "i already went in. all he talks about is the principle of circular motion."
while interesting at first read, it gets boring mean you have understood it. the concept itself is significant, no doubt, in explaining various natural as well as mechanical sciences. however, she simply did not feel up to it today.
"that and i hate balloons."
lady arnold laughed at her honesty, bidding farewell to her as she continues to the dome. raine walks by herself, trying to find the bridgertons. while she did have other friends, she was not as keen to spend time with them as she did with the said family.
and so, she strolled until she found something interesting. eloise, cressida, and penelope; all surrounding the poor man.
"what do we have here?" she mouthed to eloise from the side of lord debling and penelope.
as the bridgerton girl shrugged and gestured nothing to her, the rest of the group noticed her arrival.
"ah, lady silva." the man greeted with a hidden familiarity.
"lord debling." raine tightly smiled at him in return.
miss cowper turned to the young girl, "loraine, you are an enjoyer of science just like lord debling, are you not?"
"oh, cressida," she began with a chuckle. she does not mean any offense to her though. while the said woman was indeed quite ill-natured, so was she. therefore, she is not one to judge the other, "you would be surprised by the amount of different sciences there are."
lord debling turned back to the cowper, "we do not share the same interest."
"we despise each other." raine nodded to that reassuringly, causing the man to look at her with seriousness.
"i do not despise you."
"your loss," the young silva shrugged with a hint of jest, "i despise you."
"such a strong word, my lady."
"i am petty like that." she giggled, lightly tapping the arm of the man in a friendly manner as she continued.
"do continue your conversation. i apologise for the intrusion."
raine stepped back with a smile and neared eloise, "where is your brother?"
"i did not see him. i thought he is with you?" she asked back, trying to look around herself too to catch a glimpse of her brother.
good thing she was looking around though because she had enough time to grab the other girl by the hand as the extraordinary balloon started to fly their way.
penelope, however, was stunned on their place. lord debling did not think twice to cover the girl for safety. while they did not agree with the science, she would give him points for that act.
raine turned to the men pulling the balloon, seeing colin upfront. such a personality he is embracing now, she thought. another bridgerton stole her attention though, because just meters away, benedict can be seen rubbing his palms as if in pain from pulling the ties.
she turned to eloise to bid farewell, thinking to go to him. however, as she turned back to where he was, he was now rushing to walk away.
her confusion was interrupted when cressida suddenly yelped in pain. catching on to her hidden agenda, raine rolled her eyes.
"ugh, i really hate balloons."
━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━
after the incident, they all went home, likely to also prepare for the ball this evening. she went with the bridgertons to their home, not wanting to disturb her father for whatever work he's doing again.
the girl grumbled as she laid down on their couch, completely not listening to whatever conversation the family was having. everyone was doing something—gregory and hyacinth eating biscuits and quarreling, francesca playing the piano, colin reading and benedict sketching, and violet and eloise talking.
raine groaned once again before speaking on her own, "my father is so busy. it is almost like he is not here at all."
she continued to stare at the ceiling, only looking at the family after a prolonged silence of whatever they were doing. lady bridgerton was staring at her lovingly as eloise added, "and when he is away, you keep on saying you want him to go home already."
raine feigned ignorance to what she said, acting like she did not say that at all—which she did say, by the way, quite a lot too.
"ben," she called for the man across who seems to be ignoring the entire happenings in the drawing room.
"hmm," he replied with a hum, intent on his sketch.
"will you marry me so that someone will be with me when father leaves again?" she said as she sit up about to go to him.
"no," he replied, looking up from the pad and to her briefly before standing up himself, "i will be painting in my room."
he turned away after bidding farewell to everyone, the sound of his footsteps slowly fading. violet and eloise turned to raine after that, confusion clear on their faces as if asking what happened.
honestly, she is asking the same thing.
━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━
her second ball—to be honest, balls are not as fun as the ton made it out to be. with the exception of what seems to be a men's club inside, there is nothing much in it.
"the surgeon from yesterday said he will be writing you a letter." she turned to see astley cooper, looking more dashing in a ball's fit, and still lacking greetings.
she smiled at what he said, "are they really going to study my suggestion?"
"of course, your points were quite strong. why do you seem to be doubting yourself now?"
she shrugged as she placed her glass down, "i was brazen yesterday. i am not feeling like it now."
letting out a sigh, she lifted her glass again and took quite a sip with a new resolution, "well, they better do because i have already boasted to my father that i made an expert pause and think about my ideas."
he chuckled at her changing moods in just five seconds, "oh, he shall prepare to be more proud then."
"lady silva, may i have this dance?" she turned to her right, only to see the brother of who she's waiting for.
"anthony, i told you. i am not going to dance with you first."
the viscount stood straight again, slowly retracting his hand, "you have not danced yet tonight?"
she let out a small groan at the reminder, "should i have?"
he chuckled, crossing his arms as if in deep thinking before chuckling again, "you are so obsessed with him. it is just a dance. he was already your first ever dance."
raine stopped the glass she was about to drink midway. she narrowed her eyes pointedly to the older man, the latter rolling his eyes, "okay, fine."
"viscountess silva, you are needed." a footman called for the lady, gaining the attention of the pair. his voice carried seriousness, yet that is not enough to reveal what it could be about. they all spoke monotonously during working hours.
she tapped anthony's arm before walking across the room, swiftly dodging the ton.
"lady silva."
a soldier strictly acknowledged the young lady. the man was sweating considerably as he pulled a letter from his pocket. he passed it to the girl in front of him without any word.
as raine took hold of the letter, small red stains are noticeable as well as the lack of seal. she opened to see the contents of it written in a hasty manner. her eyes flew from word to word, line to line. the lack of greetings, the lack of complimentary close.
she was not sure if this was done in jest—she would like it to be. however, upon observing the man in front of her now, his hand is visibly shaking. and so, she shut her eyes closed, crumbling part of the paper on her grip.
"name?"
"morgan," he answered with no mention of his rank. perhaps, this is his way of being sympathetic to the silva in front of him. perhaps, offering himself as a fellow person rather than a soldier would offer comfort.
"tell me where they are, morgan." she stared directly in his eyes, voice now void of the festivities behind her.
"i cannot tell."
"oh, you surely can." her volume starting to increase, sarcasm, anger, fear, and grief mixed.
"my lady, i am under strict command to not tell you their whereabouts." he did not break his eye contact, believing it as a form of respect to the girl.
she stepped forward, grasping her concealed small gun inside her dress out as she start to scream, "tell me or i will—"
"raine," a man grabbed her, pushing the gun down before anyone can wander their eyes on it. he swiftly took and pocketed it on his own. he turned to the young one, putting both palms on her cheek as if to call for her, "raine."
anthony crossed the hall as fast as he could after noticing her crumbling the paper, excusing himself from mr. cooper who conversed with him after she left. he was not the best man when it comes to emotion, but he knows anger like an old friend. and raine? she was rarely angry. she despises everything on a daily basis, but never with rage. and so, he knew something was wrong—very wrong.
he looked at her directly in the eyes, seemingly finding her behind it as he whispered, "there is a lot of people present. the ton is here."
"i do not give a hell about them. where is my father?!" he pushed the viscount away, freeing from his grasp but he reached again instantly, as if knowing how to deal with her already.
"darling, do not yell," he spoke in the same warm voice, "what happened?"
"papa has been shot," her voice broke upon saying it out aloud, just as her tears from her eyes, "in the shoulder and chest!"
raine nearly dropped down, if anthony did not pull her to him in time. although they were outside, the ball is still quite crowded. they could not let this go out. they could not let people see and know of this.
"i—" the viscount could not find the right words to say at the moment, he himself now feeling the panic akin to what he has experienced before.
sergeant morgan informed them of raphael's orders, him being the second-in-command of the currently incapacitated general, "colonel montague has ordered to have you stay in the ball. this is surrounded by our men, and the people responsible are less likely to attack a crowded event."
anthony nodded to acknowledge what the soldier said as raine is starting to lose herself, muttering on her own, "papa was shot."
while the general has certainly been shot before, this is possibly the most fatal. raphael knew that the girl would prefer the exact information, even in grievous situations. she hates when people feel the need to protect her from the truth.
and so, that is what the colonel wrote. he mentioned his state in all its actuality. general has been shot four times, once in the shoulder and thrice on the chest, sternum to left. he is bleeding heavily and is currently unconscious. we will be going on another quarters. i ask you stay at the ball. after, be with major thorpe at all times.
she pushed the viscount once again and turned back to the ball inside, "le—leave me be."
before anthony could take a hold of her, she already has entered inside. forcing to assist the girl would only raise suspicions now. she walked slowly, eyes darting from point to point as if looking for something. good thing it is a ball, and people will brush off her actions as a bit intoxicated—which could not be farther from the truth.
"where's...." she whispered to herself, not knowing that she is saying it out aloud, "where is... benedict?"
raine turned and turned, left and right, but she could not find even his shadow in the dance floor or within the hall. so, she continued to walk aimlessly, only to find who she's looking for at the bottom of the stairs, with a familiar lady conversing with him from a few steps higher. her mind was wandering. she did not understand a thing anymore.
"i need to go," she muttered to no one in particular, turning to a corner where a staircase leading to another wing can be seen.
she gripped the bannister, anthony in tow, seeing his wife in conversation with his mother. he gestured for kate to come to them, offering a smile to not raise worry before disappearing from view.
raine continues to find her way to the balcony, breaths already starting to be more noticeably heavy. fortunately, the place was vacated with no other person in sight. she dragged her feet and found comfort on the corner between the wall and a balustrade, sitting down with her knees on her chest.
"an—anthony," she began after a few gasps of air, the said man leaning closer as he crouched in front of her too.
"papa... papa was shot." the young girl reiterated in disbelief and grief. she left first for the ball as armand told his daughter he had some things to work for a bit with raphael. they were supposed to arrive late in the ball.
they were supposed to arrive on the ball.
he continues to comfort her, saying that her father's going to be well. he is a general, after all. the viscountess bridgerton reaches them with a smile, but it is immediately changed with a confuse and worried one when she sees what's happening.
anthony turned to her in a rushed manner, "kate, get my brother."
she knew better than to ask why. kate has always been a smart woman. she does not know, but she understands. and so, she nodded at him and turned on her heel in a hurry.
"you... will not find him. he—he is..." the girl whimpered. she cannot even see anything, her eyes blurried intensely as she fights to hold on to herself, "with lady..."
anthony caressed her hair before leaning his forehead to hers, speaking with the smallest and most serene voice he could, "shh, it's okay, raine. i am here. you can do—"
there were so many things happening all at once. she could not focus. she could not hold on to this for any longer.
"an..." she began, her words dying in the middle as she gasps and gasps, "tony...? i cannot... i cannot hear."
the fear started to settle in more to her. she cannot even hear her own voice. she hears nothing but the beat of her heart, irregularly fast.
she fumbled, trying to find his hands, and as soon as she did, raine squeezed it tightly.
"tony, i'm..."
she does not even know if she was able to say the following words. she has thought of it before, but more strongly now. she is thinking of it now, and she hopes that the thought counts.
"i need him."
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