#answering this taking in consideration you are actually just mistaken cause I used to present with she/her pronouns and my AFAB deadname

[celticbotanart]

You're literally my favorite female artist for over a decade holy fuckin shit, how long have u been doing this??

SO, I'm gonna assume this is a honest mistake, so first things first

Hi, I'm Oriel your local Brazilian neurodivergent and nonbinary/transmasc illustrator! I'm currently 34, and working with commissions (open btw!). I love fantasy and drawing character-centered illustrations, and drawing OCs and queer characters in general. I'm also talking about music all the time here, it's one of my hyperfocus/special interests. Nice to meet y'all!

Now to the question itself, I've been drawing digitally and posting online since 2006. 2026 is gonna be my 20th year of like, taking art seriously / drawing digitally and such, which is fucking insane to think about and literally doesnt even sound real lmao. If you've been following me for a decade, that's only half of the time of my art journey and online presence!

My improvement art chart is a bit outdated, but there you go. I always like to throw this around every chance I have, mostly to show how actually long it took me to get where I'm today (and also being over 30 online means I'm "near my deathbed" to some folk here so there's that dkjfhdkjf)

commission info | patreon | Ko-fi | VGen | bluesky

[kachuusha]

implied mutual feelings of love between levi and hanji���an analysis based on chapters 126 and 132.

note: this is a more in-depth version of what I have posted earlier.

This post is an attempt to make sense out of Levi’s nuanced dialogue in chapter 132. But before proceeding please read this tweet first to understand the context of this post: link to original tweet 

Please also read this analysis done by shunkani, explaining the nuance present in the original Japanese text. 

it is important that you read the posts I’ve linked above because what I am about to say here is not gonna make sense if you don’t.

Like always, note that what I am about to say is only my own interpretation of the events and should not be taken as absolute canon confirmation.

In chapter 132, Levi has a line that lost its nuance in the English translation. As explained in the linked posts above, Levi comments on Hanji’s unrequited love for titans but there is an implication that a mutual love shared with someone else.

What if that someone is Levi? When you think about it, it is not farfetched to assume that it was him considering how close he is to Hanji.

Other than that, there is an incident in the chapters prior to 132 that presents a strong case on why Levi could be referring to himself. Yes that's right—Hanji asking Levi to live with him.

Now I've seen people try to dismiss what Hanji said to Levi in the forest and insist that there is nothing possibly romantic with it and that Hanji was simply expressing their want to run away because they are tired so here is my take on it:

After tending to Levi's wounds, Hanji says,

"Maybe we should just live here together. Right Levi?"

If Isayama only intends to have Hanji express their exhaustion and desire to run away from everything, why didn't he just make Hanji say something like 《"I want to run away Levi. I am tired."》 ?

Why did it have to be Hanji expressing their want to live together with Levi? It was like Isayama tried to hit two birds with one stone. He had Hanji say their desire to run away and also to be with Levi.

Another factor in this is Hanji blushing after realizing that Levi heard what they said. Again, some fans have tried to refute this by saying that Hanji blushes all the time.

Yes Hanji blushes a lot but also consider the context of the scene. For second let us pretend tha these two characters are not Levi and Hanji—let's pretend that they are Character A and B.

Character A is with Character B, and the former thinks the the latter is asleep. Character A then takes this as a chance to voice out their feelings for Character B.

A few moments later, Character B brings up what Character A said. Character A realizes Character B heard their confession and so they blush.

I mean look at it, you could easily pretend that what happened in the forest was something that came out straight from a romance novel or a shoujo manga.

And come on are we going to pretend that the run away and live with someone to start anew isn't a common trope in romance?

Another argument I've seen is that maybe Hanji was just embarrassed that Levi heard them expressing their want to abandon their duties. This one is very easy to debunk.

Remember the beginning of Uprising Arc? Hanji shows their hesitation to Levi in continuing the titan experiments with Eren because they are afraid that the MPs might go after the SC just like what they did to Pastor Nick.

In both situations, Hanji was trying to run away and evade something and Levi was present in both situations. But did Hanji blush after showing their want to run here? No they did not.

Then what else could possibly the reason for Hanji's blush other than a hint for romantic feelings?

Next let's talk about Levi's response to Hanji.

Levi subtly implies to Hanji that he heard what they said by asking,

"If we keep...running and hiding...what will that get us...?"

Some say that this was Levi rejecting Hanji but I disgaree. To me what Levi said sounds more like a We can't run away yet if we still have things to do.

Levi also said that because he is aware of Hanji's strong sense of responsibility.

"I know you...you're not able to stay out of the action..."

He knows Hanji would't be satisfied in being a bystander.

Another thing to note here is that Hanji is the one who arrives at the conclusion that they can't.

Levi himself did not really gave a direct answer—and that is expected from someone like Levi who seems to be awkward and inexperienced in romance. It is understandable if he was caught off guard with what Hanji said and thus couldn't give a proper response.

Now getting back to chapter 132.

After seeing Hanji's exchange with Pieck, Levi says:

"...So, four eyes. yet another love for a titan gone unrequited, I see."

So like what had been explained in the posts above, Levi comments on Hanji's unrequited love for titans but implies that there is mutual love shared with someone.

With what happened in 126 in mind, who would be the most reasonable choice for that someone if not Levi? What if this was Levi's response or way of acknowledging Hanji's words back in the forest?

Just think about it. Hanji gives Levi something like a confession and then a few chapters later Levi suddenly implies that Hanji shares a mutual love with someone. The connection between the two events is not really difficult to make.

Like I said earlier, Levi not being able to form a direct answer is expected considering he seems to be the type who would be extremely awkward at love. Maybe he just needed time to sort his feelings first. Another thing to consider is they are both soldiers in duty.

Also can we talk about how Levi suddenly decided to call Hanji "four-eyes" again? It was like Levi is making an effort to go back to those days of normalcy.

An ambiguous and vague confession is also something that is so in character of Levi because of his awkwardness with words. Another is because he doesn't have to be direct with his words because Hanji and him share a deep understanding of one another.

Before anyone tries to brush this line off as nothing, I would like to point out that Isayama changed the kanji used in the dialogue in the volume release. This was pointed out in the tweet by @/kasumi_kasa as shown above.

The point I am trying to make here is that if this line is something we should just simply brush off, then why would Isayama bother making changes to it in the volume release?

The kanji in the original chapter release was 片思い but was changed into 片想い in the volume release. Both are read the same way (kataomoi) but just like what @/kasumi_kasa had explained, the kanji used in the volume release which is 想い, is indicative of a deeper form of love.

Also take note that the latter is an unusual way of writing unrequited love in Japanese.

Taking that into consideration and the implication of a mutual feeling with someone, does that mean Levi and Hanji share a deep form of love?

See the lengths Isayama is going through just for this one line? It really feels like the is trying to push something here.

Now onto Hanji's side. If by any chance we are correct that Levi was indeed confessing his feelings to Hanji, then did the latter caught what Levi was trying to say?

In my observation, it is very likely that Hanji had caught on to it because of their seemingly flustered and hesitant reply towards Levi. The hesistance is present in the pause (the three dots) before Hanji's dialogue.

"...We"ll be friendly in no time."

Another thing I would like to point out is how Hanji suddenly diverted the subject.

This is actually kind of ironic if you think about it. In 126 Hanji was the one who is seemingly confessing and Levi was the one who brought up their duties. Here in 132, it was Levi's turn to confess but Hanji was the one who brought up their duties.

My honest take on here is that it feels like Hanji was on the process of moving on and abadoning whatever feelings they had laid down in the forest so they could focus solely on their cause but then Levi suddenly drops something like this on them.

Hanji would be understandably flustered just like how Levi was in 126. Honestly in the end, both of them are just so awkward at romance.

So this is where I am gonna end this attempt at analyzing what was said in 126 and 132. I hope I was able to convey my thoughts properly. If you have made it this far then thank you.

If ever I am mistaken with my assumptions in here, it still doesn't diminish the beautiful bond that Levi and Hanji share.

[roadtohappy]

Why I detransitioned

I mentioned it briefly in response to someone else’s post, but I believe this subject deserves a post of its own. It included the statement: “I detransitioned because my identity changed, and I don’t regret my transition”, to which I expressed how much it resonated with me - and here’s why.

I was, I am, and I always will be transgender. As a young girl, I developed gender dysphoria. To anyone who’s unfamiliar with what that means, gender dysphoria is a term used to describe the emotional pain and distress a person experiences when their biological sex and their self-perceived gender do not match - a body/brain incongruence, if you will.

When I came out of the closet and told my family and peers that I identified as male, I had already spent a considerable amount of time contemplating my situation. I questioned myself constantly, and doubted every answer. I did this prior to, and after coming out, and even during my social and medical transition. Not because I was unsure of myself, but because I needed to know if there was any chance that my gender dysphoria could’ve been caused by something other than simply being transgender. It was important for me to unveil and deal with any underlying issues that could’ve been linked to my gender-identity, because it’s better to find out early on and stop before you find yourself overwhelmed with regret later in life if it turns out that you were actually mistaken. I asked myself the same questions constantly; “Am I being influenced by my peers? Media? Online communities?” “Is my brain using this as a defense mechanism to mask childhood trauma?” “Am I using my trans identity to escape from my past/present problems?” “Do I have any undiagnosed psychiatric or medical conditions that could alter how I perceive myself?” “Can I learn to cope with my gender dysphoria without transitioning?” “Am I trying to mend the absence of my father and lack of male role models by becoming male myself?” “Do I have any unhealthy ideas of what it means to be a woman?” “Do I have enough strong female role models in my life?” “Am I simply not ready to become a woman yet? if so, why?”

-These are all questions you should never ever be afraid to ask yourself, no matter where you are in your transition - whether you’re in the closet or out. Early, mid or late-transition; it is never a bad time to discover yourself and make the best choices for yourself, wherever they may lead you. This is not at all meant to discourage anyone from transitioning, but rather inspire people to ask them self the right questions.

As I mentioned in my introduction-post; I started living as a boy at 15, meaning I wore boy’s clothes, and went by a male name and male pronouns. I started taking male hormones when I was 18. If you’re unfamiliar with what hormone therapy does for trans people, it essentially means that you’re taking hormones regularly to induce a second puberty in order to bring on characteristics of your identified gender. I’m now 21 years old and I had chest-masculinization surgery 8 months ago. I never wanted to go any further than hormones and top-surgery, as my dysphoria mainly revolved around my feminine voice and other minor characteristics, and my breasts. The further I progressed into my transition, my gender dysphoria decreased, as you’d expect. After having my top-surgery, I also no longer feel dysphoric about my chest. To my surprise, I now feel completely comfortable with my natural body, including my femininity.

Early 2020 when the lockdown started, I began to spend more time alone by myself, going on long nature walks and exploring my thoughts through art and creative activities as a way to “unlearn” some of the unhealthy masking-behaviors I’ve taught myself over the years, in order to fit in better among other people. (Very common coping mechanism in autistic people, apparently.) As I began this process of “un-masking” I made it my top-priority to stop caring so much about what other people think of me or how other people expect me to look, talk and act. My new mindset became something along the lines of “Okay, the way my brain is built means that I experience the world and process information differently from other people, which also means that my actions and feelings are based on a different set of experiences than other people. I will no longer measure my worth by my ability to blend in and be ‘normal’, and I will no longer apologize for being different.” And so began a whole new level of self-exploration. I played around with some of my old make-up, I started taking up fun activities that most people would deem feminine - and it didn’t make me feel dysphoric at all. In fact, I liked it. I was unapologetically leaning into my feminine side and it felt good, it felt right, it felt safe - an experience I was never able to have before I transitioned.

When the semester came to an end a few weeks ago, I found myself in a weird position. I now have two completely empty months ahead of me, I truly detest big changes like that. A solid everyday schedule sort of functions as a mental “anchor” for me. Because no matter what happens in my life, I know one thing for certain; I will go to sleep tonight, wake up in the morning, do my morning routine and get ready, get the bus at exactly 7:41AM and arrive at school 10-15 minutes later depending on the traffic. I then attend class and adhere to the school’s timetables for the next 6 hours. I get the bus home and change into my uniform, work for 5 hours, go home and do my homework, make dinner, do something fun or watch youtube, go to bed - and the cycle continues. These little “anchors” make me feel secure and grounded, they help me cope with a world that can feel chaotic and overwhelming at times. 

So last day of school arrives and I’m like “shit, what now?? One day I’m at school and suddenly there’s just *nothing* for two months?? Not only that, but I’ve just discovered that there’s a whole new side of me that I’m now free to explore since my gender dysphoria decided to evaporate into thin air.” Everything around me was changing, even myself - and that’s the moment when I decided that maybe it was time to give Testosterone a break. Whether temporary or permanently, doesn’t matter. It’s not like my body is going anywhere and I can always just resume hormone therapy again if I want to. But for now, it was time to just take a break, let go of everything and truly get to know myself. My transition is complete, and I am ready to continue this journey in a new direction. It’s been a month now, and I’m happy to say I’ve had a lot of fun just enjoying the time off and being my authentic self. I haven’t really told anyone I’m detransitioning. I’m just kinda doing my own thing, and if people want to run along with it and refer to be as female at some point then that’s their choice, I don’t really care to be honest. Name-wise, I might just jokingly suggest “Jane” when people ask, since it’s so similar to “Jake”.  I get weird looks from people when I’m out in public, because I’m starting to pass as female again, but my voice is unmistakably masculine - I like my voice though, so I don’t care what they think. If people ask why my voice is so deep, I just tell them the truth: “I am a woman, but my body was testosterone-dominant for 3 years, hence the voice.” Simple as, lol. Not only that, but I am a whole, grown ass adult, I don’t have to explain myself to anyone.

On the topic of irreversible changes, there is one important thing that I cannot stress enough; My decision to detransition does not come from a place of regret, I have loved and cherished every step of this process. I’ve heard a lot of people say this about detransitioners but I don’t have “reverse-dysphoria”, why would I?  Man or woman, I love myself and my body regardless. I absolutely needed to transition from female to male in order to be happy, I could not have attained this level of happiness otherwise. I would not have been able to accept or even come to terms with my femininity if I hadn’t transitioned. I’m still on the same journey as before, I simply took a new path.

Anyway, I best end this wall of text because it’s 3:00AM and I’m going on a 9km hike with a friend in the morning, I can’t waiiiitttt!

[aqvarius]

Masquerade Kiss: Do Bad Girls Like to Self-pleasure? Kazuomi Shido - otona love - chapter 5 summary/translation

this is the cutest, fluffiest chapter that we get before all the steamy stuff begins. sorry it’s coming a bit later than usual, i was super tired and decided to sleep and finish it the next day. basically this entire chapter is just a conversation between you and kazuomi which is both great and terrible for me because my dialogue translations are so boring, but i think the content of this chapter is cute and sweet enough that i hope it’ll satisfy you.

the chapter begins with a quick recap of what just happened at the end of chapter 4 which you can read here, or check out my translations page to read from the start. kazuomi is hugging you from behind and you start to speak, telling him that he’s been so busy lately and you didn’t want him to overdo it, so you didn’t let yourself get “tired out” to your full capacity. 

“you were thinking about such a thing?”

“because... i haven’t been able to contact you recently,” you say. “when i turn on the tv, there’s nothing but news about you. it’s not bad news, but it’s all you.”

“it’s like that whenever there’s a new resort project,” kazu explains. “the mass media follows me.”

“that’s because it’s your specialty,” you say. you thought that he would be tired from being so busy, but that might not be the case. 

kazuomi thinks that as you said, this degree of busyness is nothing new. however, it’s also true that he was tired without realising it. 

“i never thought you’d take a whole day off for my sake like this,” you say. “all the more, i wanted you to relax” 

you: “today, i wanted to restfully spend time doing nothing”

meanwhile, kazuomi had thought you wanted to spend a more concentrated* day together. 

*濃い - i’m not really sure how else to translate this but it’s a word that’s used to mean when something is deeper/darker (in colour), denser/stronger or thicker/richer (as in a more concentrated soup/sauce). i previously used “enriching” but essentially i think kazuomi means a day that’s more busy or packed with activities/events. 

“that’s why you just snuggled up without doing anything, huh”

“hm...? in other words, you did “that” at that time because you were concerned about me?”

“at that time? what are you talking about?” you ask.

“the energy that i use to embrace you runs on a different tank**. don’t worry about me getting tired”

**this is kind of paraphrasing but basically what he is saying is that the physical strength he uses to have sex with you is a separate issue. 

at first you stare at him, mystified, as you turn around. suddenly, you leap out of his arms to a good distance away. 

“what’s wrong?”

(come on kazuomi don’t do this, you know exactly what’s wrong lmao)

you: “wha...!? eh? i-it can’t be...”

kazu says it seems like you were feeling it on your own without him (as in feeling [good], not literally feeling yourself up). 

“that face you have when you’re feeling good... if i can, i’d like the satisfaction of making you make it in my arms”

(lskdf sorry i tried 5 times to phrase this in a way that captures even a little bit of how suave kazuomi is but i just can’t because there are so many parts to that sentence lol)

your face turns red with a vigour that kazuomi has never seen before. 

you: “ah, ummm, that’s....!”

“it’s not like you need to hide it. it’s my responsibility that i couldn’t satisfy you”

“...or so i thought... but it seems like i was mistaken”

 you stutter some more and then say, “that morning, i thought i was going to tire you out again...”

“i mean... did you see it!?” you ask.

kazuomi explains that he was going to call out to you to take a shower with him.

“you just be joking...! i don’t believe it!” you exclaim. “i-in the first place, you shouldn’t...!” 

“considerably agitated, mc is completely flustered.”

“what, is it my fault after all?”

you: “you’re, you... you”

you: “...you do it well...” (😔)

btw i’m only posting these particular screenshots bc it’s hysterical to me how incoherent she is

this is another answer outside of his expectations, and his head tilts. 

you: “...i couldn’t forget your fingers... even after waking up, my body... that is...”

“i see. you wanted me”

you: “...i would have been fine if you weren’t in front of me though”

you: “that is... no matter what, i was horny***...”

***this word also means in agony/anguished but i looked it up and it’s also slang for horny, thanks weblio for helping me yet again lmao

"now that you mention it, i thought you kept looking this way that time,” kazuomi thinks. “it seems as though the thing i was curious about [that caused her to keep looking my way that morning] was my fingers that had pleasured her the night before”

“what’s that about. you should have just told me honestly”

(not sure how to translate the tone when he says “なんだ” here but i hope you get it)

 “if it’s what you desire, can’t i provide you with as much satisfaction you as much as you like?”

“didn’t i just say... i didn’t want you to get tired?” you say. “if i said the word, you would definitely indulge my every selfish whim no matter the situation”

“it’s my pleasure” 

(like the present tense version of “that would be my pleasure”. ugha;slkfjds kazu loves spoiling his mc so much. this is literally the best version of him and we are so blessed to see it)

 kazuomi explains that it’s the only time that you can “melt” since you can't leave any gaps open during your usual work (melt here meaning like be ravished/in [sexual] ecstasy). i’m not sure if he’s referring to the busyness of her job or the fact that she’s always playing a tightly controlled persona, but likely the latter. 

“don’t you think that seeing that face would blow away the fatigue of my work?”

you: “no way... you would never think of such a sentimental thing” 

(lmao girl if only you could see his internal dialogue like we can!!)

“heh, i would never? well, that’s been the case so far”

“but i would say... you’re special?”

he captures you, who had escaped, again and hugs you tightly from behind. 

you: “shido...?”

“do you love**** me that much?”

****he actually says “like” but voltage tends to translate this as love, although it’s not as heavy/deep as 愛してる which is super serious

“how did you get that from this situation?” you reply. 

after wriggling a little in his arms, you quickly become docile. 

you: “...i love you”

kazuomi: “yeah. i know”

same thing with the like/love as above. you also say it in kind of a slightly petulant way. 

ALSO i’m here to interrupt because can you BELIEVE shido “worried about this for days and gave his friends all the sordid details and planned the most uncharacteristic day off because he was worried he wasn’t enough for you” kazuomi had the AUDACITY to just han solo you like that????

“i know that you know, but... i love you,” you say. 

“...i see. you wanted me so much that you couldn’t be settled until you took care of yourself”

“but still, you worried about me and didn’t say anything...”

“...i’m glad,” kazuomi says. 

“my love was properly transmitted to you”

(🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 BEST BOY KAZUOMI)

you: “about that... isn’t it obvious?”

“to say that it’s not conveyed that i’m being loved that much, i’m not obtuse” (i think this is what she’s trying to say, basically that she can feel that his love for her is being communicated properly?)

“that’s right. you’re that kind of a woman”

kazuomi thinks that you’re always a step ahead of his thoughts, saying things that show how much you understand him. 

“there’s no way such a woman couldn’t receive my love.”

“could it be that you thought i did ... something like that because i wasn’t satisfied with you?” you ask.

kazuomi replies that that would be the ordinary train of thought, adding that while he’s still on the topic, he thinks there’s still something you’re not satisfied with. 

you tell him you’ve accepted his feelings with all of your might, you’re not dissatisfied... 

“but that wasn’t the case at that time, right?” questions kazuomi. 

you turn in his direction, and he looks down into your face. you cast your eyes down, embarrassed. he tries to catch your gaze and you look down further.

you: “asshole*****...”

*****other options i was playing with were “meanie” or “jerk” but they didn’t have the right feel. imagine her calling him a knobhead tho. 

“i want to make all your wishes come true”

“it’s a foul to not have concern [for your partner]. in that case, i’d have to do the same thing” 

basically he’s saying since you were so concerned about me, i’m going to have to return the favour. look at him, making it out like it’s a game of equals when he’s really just a fool in love...

“the same thing... meaning...” you say. 

“if you won’t get tired, i’ll embrace you as much as you like”

i’m trying to keep the sentences quite concise but he’s basically saying if you’re still not worn out (from the copious amounts of lovemaking) and want more, he’ll have sex with you as many times as you want. in case you didn’t already know, often when you see mcs get flustered bc their love interest talks about “holding/embracing” them, it’s because the same word can be used to mean sleeping/having sex with.

“but... i always want to [make] love [to] you”

..........!

(he’s saying no matter when, he always wants to love you, which in this case means “make love to” but i guess can maybe also be read in the emotional sense? idk we all know kazu is secretly a huge romantic)

finally, you raise your face. kazuomi doesn’t miss the heat flaring in your eyes when you see his expression. 

you: “in that case... i... want you to hold***** me”

*****same situation re: the hold/embrace thing. she’s saying “then have sex with me” lmao.

also lkajsflks i’m crying bc kazuomi will give you anything you ever wished for (and probably delights in being able to provide it), you just have to dare to ask him

“okay”

kazuomi is giving off an aura that he thinks would make you pull back if you were on mission (i think this is what it’s trying to say lol but not 100%), but at times like this, you always get embarrassed and show a shy and troubled face. 

“the one who lights my fire is always “you””

basically he’s talking about the true you, not arisa. alksdfj kazuomi is so in love i can’t BEAR IT

“whether you’re being bold or honest, or even when we’re bargaining******...”

“i’m in trouble because of how fascinated i am by all of it.”

******he’s talking about all the bets and negotiations and challenges and banter between you two. actually there’s a lot more i want to explain here. i chose to use “bold”, but it also refers to when you’re being audacious (like if you’re cheekily talking back to him). honest in this case also means frank/straightforward (about your feelings), but can also imply docility/obedience. essentially the two have very different (almost contrary) vibes. 

--

that’s it for chapter 5! hope you are keeping your teeth brushed to prevent all the cavities this chapter will inevitably give you. i’m floored by how much of a lovestruck fool kazuomi is. maybe it’s just the poor quality of my translations even though i tried somewhat to preserve some tone in cases where i felt it really needed it, but i feel like his internal dialogue here is a lot sweeter and straightforward than his external dialogue? i’m glad they sorted out the misunderstanding though, and how sweet of his mc to be so concerned about his health. i love seeing them be all cheesy for each other but sometimes disguising it as banter because let’s be real, both of them are total love virgins and don’t know how to just straightforwardly talk about the true depth of their affections for each other.

in the next chapter, kazuomi returns the favour, things get reaaaal smutty, and i get a headache from trying to understand sexual euphemisms. please let me know what you thought of this chapter!

i’ve set up a ko-fi page here and would be incredibly grateful if you would like to support me for translations and being able to purchase more routes to recap in english!

click here for chapter 6

[prongsisabadger]

Songs for the Heartbroken: That’s What You Get

AO3

ff.net

Chapter 1.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Itachi-san". I said in the clearest voice I could manage at four.

Granted that meeting the heir to the Uchiha leadership was nerve racking, what with every eye in the room watching, but I for one felt quite proud of myself for not screwing up. Itachi on the other hand, did not look impressed in the least; in fact he seemed to not care whether I was there or not. I rose from my greeting and faced him, summoning the brightest smile in my repertoire and hoping it would make a better impression on him. It could have, but if I am completely honest, I have no idea if it did.

His expression did not change, and his expression, though not hostile, was not of an inviting nature either. We looked very much alike; the Uchiha's black eyes and raven hair, and the fierce but delicate factions were present in us both. Anyone unfamiliar with our clan would have thought us siblings instead of far removed cousins.

"The pleasure is mine, Akane-san. Shisui-senpai would not stop talking about your taijutsu skills. It is an honor to finally meet the person behind that praise."

The bow that followed was even deeper than mine, and his overly formal speech and compliments had me blushing like the four year old I was. Not because of the compliment itself, but because it was a four year old like myself who had spoken like that. I was suddenly aware of how far behind him I was, not only skill wise, but also when it came to education and manners. I felt inferior, ignorant, and I did not like it one bit. Shisui must have seen this, because when I failed to answer, he squeezed my shoulder.

"I am no master, Itachi-san. But I will continue to train to make sure, one day I am worthy of that praise".

The need to catch up with him grew with every second, If the heir of the Uchiha out of all clans, was humble enough to compliment others, in spite of his prodigy status, then the least I could do was live up to it. I would call it a friendly rivalry, a motivation of sorts that would help me improve marginally, even if surpassing Itachi was out of the question. I would make my brother and my clan proud; even if it meant constantly comparing myself to genius and being thoroughly disappointed every time, I would still do it.

Itachi didn't seem to be moved by my response and just nodded politely before moving o to speak with other members of the clan. His birthday had been too big an event for his low profile personality, but apparently there were things you couldn't escape when your father was the head of the Uchiha.

Their living room was packed with clan members and some of the Konoha aristocracy. Clan heads from the main families in the village, dignitaries and even civilian authorities had come; not to celebrate Itachi though, no. They had all come seeking an alliance with one of the founding clans of the village. They either wanted to do business, politics or marry a member of their clan into the Uchiha to create alliances among clans. More than once, Shisui had to intervene when someone had mistaken me for a career bride. My brother could sweet talk a country into going to war if he wanted to I swear, and it was that ability of his that prevented any of the guests from being offended by the rejection. I am a hundred percent sure I would have caused more than one inter clan incident had the situation been left in my care.

"You do not seem to be enjoying yourself". I turned to find the birthday boy trying to avoid attention in a dark corner behind me. he wasn't outright hiding, but he wasn't trying to interact with his guests either.

"I believe I could be making myself more useful in a training ground, these people have no interest in me once they realize I am not for sale, and neither do you." Formal talk had always been a hassle to me, it was only part of an act, a mannerism used to fake respect when talking to people who hadn't earned it.

Itachi seemed to notice my aversion to crowds right away, but made no comment on it; probably out of consideration.

"That would make two of us, believe me, Akane-san, when I say these people are not here to see me either."

He was scanning the room from his spot in the corner, and I felt the urge to do the same. No one was paying attention to us, the high society of Konohagakure no Sato was much too concerned with politics and making alliances to notice two kids standing quietly in a corner.

"How would you like to come to one of the training grounds with me, Itachi-san? I feel like our time could be used in better ways than this, and I do not think we will be missed here either."

My brother had disappeared, probably gone home; and the party was quite sober and kind of boring. As expected from a clan head actually. This was not a celebration for Itachi, it was an opportunity for his parents to do politics.

"I would very much like that. But will you not be uncomfortable wearing a kimono, Akane-san?" Said the boy as he guided me out of the living room, and into one of the many hallways of the Uchiha household.

I stood there as Itachi went into his room to get his gear, since it would be improper to be found together in his room. Not that we could do anything remotely sexual at the age of four, but clan people could be extremely conservative like that. In fact, if we were to be seen together too often or for extended periods of time, it was most likely for a marriage contract to be put in place.

"I will be fine, Itachi-san. My brother makes me train in a kimono from time to time to get me used to it. He says that if I were to be attacked, the enemy would not wait for me to change clothes."

We made our way to the back door and out the veranda. We managed to slip by unnoticed by some guests that were smoking in the back yard, and with an ease that seemed almost funny, escaped the crowd gathered in the Uchiha main house. The compound was as lively as ever, the main street still buzzing with the energy of business and the eventual visit from non-Uchiha customers. A few congratulated Itachi on his birthday, mostly tea house owners and dango stools shopkeepers; who also made promises of free food and sweets as a present on that special ocation. Thankfully we made it to the compound's training grounds without attracting too much attention to ourselves.

"Would you rather we practice chakra control, taijutsu or target practice, Akane-san?" His voice pulled me back from my daydreaming. I had been wondering how long would it take for somebody to come looking for us. I for one had only Shisui to worry about, but Itachi had the entire clan to think of; so either someone would come looking within the first half hour or not at all.

"My taijutsu and weapon handling skills are competent; my chakra control on the other hand, is mediocre at best." I answered turning to him.

I wasn't ashamed of my shortcomings, I simply wanted to work hard and stop them from becoming a liability. Even at the tender age of four, two mindsets had been drilled into me: my brother's hard working nature, and the clan's idea of self improvement and greed for power. I had no intention to do anything rash or radical with the power I gained, mind you, but my pride would not allow me to become anything but exceptional.

"I could help you with that if you want to; chakra control is one of my strengths. I have even started working on genjutsu."

Of course he had started practicing his genjutsu already; his status as a prodigy was well founded. He, at four, had the chakra control of a genin twice his age. I nodded once and sat cross legged on the training ground floor, motioning him to do the same.

"I have been attempting to do the leaf exercise, but for some reason I can't maintain it for more than a couple of seconds." I explained, taking a leaf from the ground and sticking it to my forehead.

It stayed there at first, shaking a bit as I frowned in concentration. I only relaxed when after a few seconds, the leaf fell from its place in my forehead and onto my lap. During my pitiful demonstration of chakra control, Itachi sat still and completely silent across me. I didn't dare look up, knowing this must have been such a disgrace in the heir's eyes. An Uchiha that could not master the leaf exercise was as good as a civilian.

"There seems to be something wrong at a medical level, Akane-san. Have you had your first medical examination done yet?" I shook my head no, it was one of the many options I had considered. It was actually the most plausible one, since there was no way I could know if there was something wrong with me.

I suspected my brother did know what was wrong, but didn't tell me to spare my feelings. Shisui had already awakened the sharingan, and made it a habit to use it on me every time I practiced chakra control. Another thing that clued me on the fact that Shisui knew what was wrong was his incredible amount of patience. Every time he gave me different pieces of advice and every time he looked at me with the exact same expression he wore when faced with some particularly difficult challenge.

"I don't think you will ever be able to manage ninjutsu or genjutsu, Akane-san. If there is something wrong with your coils, then I don't see how you could. The fact that you managed to make it this far is impressive. What I would like to know is if your family is aware of this, why have they not informed the elders?"

My mind was racing, Shisui could be the only one who knew if something was wrong with my coils since my grandparents had never awoken the sharingan, in fact they had never been shinobi in the first place. But why hadn't he said anything? Why hadn't he pushed for a medical check to be done on me? this would definitively have affected my shinobi carreer should it get out; I would have been benched before I even got started and I would have been made into a career bride just like my oba-chan wanted.

"My brother wouldn't have wanted to shatter my dreams of becoming a kunoichi, but if anybody knows then that's him."

I sighed and turned to watch the sun set on the west side of Konoha. Would I let this stop me? could I still become a shinobi, even if everything was pointing the other way? Even if my body prevented me from doing so? How would I make it past the medical checkup before entering the academy without the elders being notified? An Uchiha with malfunctioning chakra coils was enough of a disgrace, would they even risk sending me to the academy if there existed the faintest possibility that I would bring shame to the Uchiha name?

"You can still become a kunoichi, you are aware of that, aren't you?" my body didn't move, but I did glance at my companion from the corner of my eye. "I will not tell the elders, and I could put the medic on a slight genjutsu should it come to that. You would have to be able to manage the academy jutsu in order to raise no suspicion though"

I was convinced Itachi must have had a reason for wanting to help me; but right then nothing seemed to come to mind. I would have to tell Shisui about everything of course, I would not be lying to my brother any time soon. I never had and I never would. I also needed him to help me train, wich to be honest was the main reason I didn't want to keep him in the dark; that, and the fact that he probably already knew.

"I will have to tell my brother."

"Tell me what, Akane-chan?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Shisui's voice sounded behind me. Itachi on the other hand, did not seem affected in the least by his sudden appearance. Before I could say anything, the boy in front of me started to explain for me.

The two males stared at each other in silence for a while; Shisui seemed to be attempting to make out the heirs reasons for helping me. He seemed to be under the impression that if given enough time, Itachi would betray me. If there was something my brother put before everything else, that was me.

"You do realize my sister will be forced into an arranged marriage should someone find out her chakra system is compromised?" Itachi just nodded and attempted to hold my brother's gaze with a courage I didn't think he was capable of. Shisui was scary when he was this serious. "I will not have her reduced to a glorified housewife, to an object for child bearing if she does not want to. I will do anything in my power to make her wish come true, do I make myself clear?"Once again the Uchiha heir nodded, and assured my brother that he would provide as much support as he could.

But what I never knew and Shisui seemed to already have figured out, was why.

Itachi had clearly been serious when he promised to aid my progress; because the very next morning, as I was going through my stretches, he jumped over the fence and made his way over to the veranda. He took a seat and watched me go through every move, waiting patiently for me to be done. I was not entirely surprised when I managed to spot him, choosing to finish my workout before acknowledging his presence. He didn't seem to be judging my choice of exercise, but simply analyzing it, storing the information for later use.

"I didn't think you would actually come see me at five am this morning. Looks like I underestimated you, Itachi-san." I said when the last set was over and done with.

I walked over to the veranda, where he was sitting; beside him a little tea table had been set, with a teapot was lazily steaming on it. Shisui could have been the only one to set it there, since our grandparents wouldn't be up for another hour.

"I said I would help your brother with overseeing your training, and I neither like avoiding a senpai's request, not I make a habit out of lying; so that is exactly what I intend to do." Answered my new training partner, as he poured us both a cup of green tea.

Even if it was still quite early, I could tell it was going to be a chilly day, the old hand-me-down shinobi sandals my brother had given me were doing little to keep my feet warm; and the chill crawling up my yukata every now and then was getting quite uncomfortable.

"You should probably get different clothes to train in, Akane-san. A yukata is most certainly going to get in your way."

I smiled down at the navy material covering my legs. It was old, in fact you could see yhe years of wear from how much the silver floral pattern had faded. It had been a gift from my grandma, and to her horror, I had loved it so much it would be the only thing I'd wear for the longest time; even to train in. the fabric was smoothed out from use and had stretched in places that made it look oversized if worn for something other than working out.

"Yeah, I know. But it's been with me for so long, I feel kind of bad getting rid of it." I said while patting off some shards of grass before kneeling on Itachi's other side. He handed me a cup before taking his own.

"I can see why, it looks to me as if it used to be quite the garment. Whoever gave it to you must have spent a considerable amount of money on it." I smiled lightly and took a sip out of my cup.

"That's the thing, my oba-chan made it herself."

We didn't speak after that; we finished our tea in silence before making our way to the centre of the yard and started our new training routine. That was the first of a long series of encounters, in which I would put my future in Uchiha Itachi's hands.

[wisdomrays]

WE SHOULD THINK WELL OF OTHERS: Part 2

Avoid raising suspicion!

In addition, in the same way that it is essential to hold a good opinion of others, it is also a very important principle to refrain from behavior that might raise suspicion. Some people fail to avoid acts and conditions that might possibly lead to ugly thoughts about themselves arising in the minds of other people. They might sometimes present behavior that can be open to criticism in terms of their personal lives, businesses, or social relations. Thereby, these people trigger negative feelings and ugly considerations in some people who are prone to suspicion or ill-opinion. However, everybody should review their own condition and refrain from raising suspicion, while constantly maintaining a good opinion of others.

It is not possible to approve of situations which might lead to suspicion, particularly today; at the present time what is prevalent is a collective spiritual identity rather than spiritual individuality. The attitudes and behaviors of every Muslim can be ascribed to this spiritual identity and it can be generalized to all believers. Therefore, one of the prayers I consider to be very important is “My God, do not humiliate our brothers and sisters because of my attitudes and behaviors, do not let them be embarrassed because of my personal mistakes.” Nowadays, an unmannerly act by a single individual might cause all believers to lose credit. A person with inconsistent behavior can lead to negative aspects being attributed to all Muslims. In this respect, it is even more important to act in accordance with the warning of the Prophet and we should avoid those places that might leave us under suspicion. In the same way that we need to avoid such “slippery ground”, places that might leave us under the suspicion of potential sins, and to avoid situations that might trigger feelings that could lead to such sins, we should also keep away from the dangerous territory that might distance us from our essential values through the attraction of a single word, through eavesdropping, or spying on others. Likewise, we should avoid heedless behaviors that might raise suspicions about us and we should not let negative thoughts emerge. The following example will guide us in this issue:

One day, when God’s Messenger was at his habitual retreat in the mosque for the last ten days of Ramadan, his wife Safiyya visited him and asked for permission to go home after having stayed for a while. God’s Messenger, who was a paragon of kindness, came out to see off his respectable wife. At the moment, one or two Companions who were passing by, saw them and walked away. The Prophet Muhammad, the Prince of both worlds, stopped them immediately and said “Look, this is my wife Safiyya,” raising the veil of our mother Safiyya. Upon this, the Companions responded in humility, “God forbid! O Messenger of God, how can one ever expect an evil deed from you?” The Prophet replied as follows: “The devil continues to circulate through the blood vessels of people.”

As the devil does not leave us alone; he can whisper various suspicions and evil thoughts into our ears. He might lead even the most decent people to ill thoughts in various unexpected ways. So, one should try to maintain good opinions and avoid situations that might lead to ill opinion as much as possible.

The good opinion of God Almighty

On the other hand, while believers should always maintain good opinions about others, it is unthinkable for them to express discontentment that denotes an ill opinion of the Creator’s deeds. Above everything and everybody, a believer must hold a good opinion of God Almighty. As expressed in a hadith qudsi by the Prophet, God’s treatment of a servant depends on that person’s opinion of God. This reveals how important it is to cherish a good opinion of God, and how great a means to salvation this is.

As an example of how good opinions about the All-Merciful Lord are turned into a decree of forgiveness in the other world, the Prophet narrated the following event: a certain servant is called to account. Alongside his good deeds there are many sins. When both are weighed, it turns out that the scale of good deeds is lighter and the man deserves punishment. The condemned man is seized and is dragged toward punishment in a wretched condition. He keeps turning and looking back, as if he was expecting something. God orders the angels to ask him why he keeps looking back (this “looking back” should not be taken literally, it is unthinkable for God Almighty to be confined to a place or direction). The poor man says, “O God, my good opinion of You is not like this. Yes, I have brought along sins while others came with good deeds; but I have never lost my faith or trust in Your Mercy. It has been my hopeful expectation that You will treat me with Your Mercy and forgive me also.” These considerations and the man’s good opinion of God Almighty opened a door to his salvation. Consequently, the man gladly heard the divine order to be taken to Paradise. In a similar way, after Abu Sahl had passed away to the realm of eternity, certain people saw him in their dreams, and he told them that he was enjoying indescribable blessings. They asked him, “O master, how have you been able to attain this exalted rank?” Abu Sahl answered “Thanks to the good opinion I cherished about my God.”

As a matter of fact, a believer should always maintain a good opinion about God Almighty in every phase of their life, and they should constantly live with this hope. They should say, “I may be a sinner, and I am hung by a thread to Him. Therefore I might slip and fall at any moment. However, He forgives the sins of His servants, and is All-Compassionate, particularly toward His believing servants (Ghafur and Rahim). I have firm belief that His Immense Forgiveness will include me as well,” and cherish the hope of being forgiven. Nevertheless, this good opinion and hope for forgiveness should not lead one to commit more sins. A sincere believer is supposed to avoid sins like they avoid poisonous creatures. Even if they were to commit a sin, they should immediately take refuge in repentance, and ask forgiveness with the hope of being pardoned. A very delicate balance is concerned in this issue; a fine balance exists between refraining from sins and not giving in to hopelessness after a temporary lapse, since hopelessness is a greater danger in comparison to a sin. Saying “There is no more hope for me” and totally giving up, indulging in the swamp of sins, and finally being seized by pessimism, finally committing suicide is a greater transgression than the sins which lead to such a state. No matter in what condition a person finds themselves in, given that we are servants of the All-Merciful God who reveals His attributes of Mercy and Compassion in the Qur’an, Who even addresses the people who waste their lives as “My” servants, then why should we be hopeless? Actually, one should be able to say “it is unbecoming to commit sins before the great Compassion of my Creator. Then how can I dare to commit transgressions again!” Therefore, one should not give in or become hopeless. Particularly in old age and at the moment of death one should even more enthusiastically take refuge in hope and be filled with beautiful considerations while returning to God. Similarly, God’s Messenger warned us against dying without a good opinion of God Almighty.

Moreover, we should not restrict our understanding of the hadith about our opinion of God and His treatment of us; we need to evaluate this hadith from a broader perspective. It really is an expression of good opinion to say “I have an All-Merciful Lord who makes me happy with His various blessings, guides me to righteousness, Who forgives my lapses, and pardons my sins.” However, there is the belief that everything that happens in our lives has been arranged for our own good (e.g. an illness is seemingly bad, but it can be a means of blessings for our afterlife if we abandon being patient and thankful) and that everything in life is tailor-made just for us. Our good opinion about our Lord depends on the existence of this belief. If God Almighty wills, He exiles us, puts us to another test, puts another person to prison… but no matter what He does, it is always for our benefit. Each case is meant to direct us, to guide us to a certain destination and help us to reach eternal bliss. From the worship for which we are responsible - such as the daily prayers, fasting, Hajj, and alms of zakat-to the apparent troubles and misfortunes, everything we become and everything we are subjected to is planned for our advantage. Having sincere faith in this truth is the peak of our good opinion of God Almighty.

To conclude, good intentions, positive thinking, and perceiving the beautiful are signs of a person’s purity of heart and the immensity of their conscience. If a person starts to judge others, no one will be left behind. If we do not hold on to good opinions from the beginning, we cannot help but judge everybody and everything. Therefore, when an individual is performing self-criticism-given that they do not give in to hopelessness-they should be harsh. But when other people are concerned they should hold on to good opinions. We must remember that it is better to be mistaken in a good opinion than being proven right with a negative opinion.

[charlotteroseessex-blog]

Is banter dead?

Banter. It’s an everyday occurrence for most of us. A chance to let whoever we are with know how hilarious we actually are. Some may say it’s an admirable trait to be able to make jokes about touchy subjects, others might describe it as a necessity for a successful relationship, ‘cos after all, no one likes a stiff upper lipper with no bants.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last 10 years, banter is ‘in’. I’ve struggled to provide an intellectual answer with what banter actually is, as I don’t think mine covers it entirely, so I’ll refer to the ever reliable Urban Dictionary as a source to back me up.

So as suggested by the definition provided by the UD, banter is something you either have or you don’t. Despite banter being a new construct created by the specific use of language, it’s often found that each culture and environment depicts its own rules and regulations surrounding how and when the ‘playful’ jokes should be used. Banter or not, the reaction of the audience deters the success of your comment. It may have been funny yes, and it may have received some laughs, but there’s always that one stern and politically correct individual who thinks they’re just too good and suggests that your banter insinuated more than just comedy, it was an insult in disguise. These people might otherwise be described to have ‘dead banter’.

Banter, a couples thing.

With the population of active online users continually growing, the content available has now assuredly accommodated for all types of humour, political opinion and other unique preferences personal to us. Banter, on the other hand, is supposed to be a universal concept which is recognised by all in certain forms of situations whereby a comment is made from something that wouldn't originally be found as funny. Remarks involving banter also, more often than not, requires one or more people to display a back and forth exchange of witty comments at the expense of one another.  Having said this, the process to embark on a banterful session of quick wit and intelligence, requires the understanding of metalanguage and thick skin of the opposing person and occurs when the response of the receiver provides a platform for banter - otherwise it’s just you being mean.

People taking banter the wrong way and people being offended with almost everything could easily be mistaken for one another, as people these days just don’t take the time or consideration to think of the bigger picture. Was this actually a hurtful comment targeting you? Or was this an innocent remark projected onto public platforms for educative or entertainment purposes? You see, it all comes down to the individual and whether or not they choose to deny the obvious innocence for sly digs. Controversial topics, still present in the media, consume huge attention for the potential slip ups and mishaps from their actions by people choosing to interpret their innocence or mistakes as deliberately harmful and offensive. Racism and sexism are just a few examples of negative impoliteness still circulating in the media today.

Banter (or not) in Parliament.

Take Amber Rudd for example. A Tory MP who recently stole the limelight with her clumsy comments regarding the race of colleague, Diane Abbott, of whom she initially attempted to encourage support of. In her live BBC Radio 2 interview, Rudd was asked about the abuse that female colleagues received and responded by outlining the overall struggles of being a woman in such a high profile job. She stated that "it's worst of all if you're a coloured woman. I know that Diane Abbott gets a huge amount of abuse." Now reading this on the surface, Rudd seems to provide a personal account for her experiences and answers by defining that the worst struggles are endured by her black colleagues. The answer seems to be pretty innocent right? By innocent I mean there’s no spite; no racist remarks or metadiscourse implying a hidden agenda which would make a mockery of anyone. But the outdated use of the term ‘coloured’, instead of black, caused outrage and disgust and Rudd was publicly shamed for this by none other than Diane Abbott herself. From an outsider, it seems that Rudd was trying to depict nothing but admiration for a black woman being so successful in her career, but through her clumsily chosen vocabulary, the overall message was burdened by the perceived racism and rudeness of her remark by Diane. This example suggests that no matter what your intentions are with a comment, whether you’re an MP, local van driver, whatever, the interpretation once delivered is only successful once in the hands of the beholder.

Humour or Hugely Offensive? 

From badly executed compliments to genuine acts of negative impoliteness, the creation of banter takes on much to be desired. It derives from a language progression opportunistic in most daily scenarios in order to produce a funny or light hearted joke at someone else’s expense. From this progression, banter has slowly begun to blur the line between humour and being just darn’ right rude. From the sensitivity provoked from this matter, many people on the receiving end of banter decide to use the platform given by, sometimes, controversial comments to capitalise on innocent comments and scrutinise the ‘banterful one’ to be just a rude person masking their offensiveness with humour. We often hear comments responding to badly delivered banter like, ‘it was supposed to be funny’ or ‘it was just banter’. 

So does this mean that banter is dead? Well I think to uncover that, we will need to enter the realms of social media. The digital world that encourages self-expression, growth and the freedom of speech. Well, 2 out of 3 might be true but when was the last time you felt free to publicly post something to all of your followers that had been eating away at your brain? The freedom of speech aspect on all social media platforms, more often than not, always receives unwanted attention from people who A) simply can’t take a joke or B) decide to take offence at anything other individuals may say, regardless if it affects them or not. Online banter is hard to articulate. Not only are you dependent on the person, or people, receiving the message in the correct manner, but your choice of delivery is just as vital in successfully creating the intentional humour. It’s a dangerous time to be living in to say the least.

Banter: 1 of your 5 a day.

So why can’t people just take a joke these days? Well I think the answer is embedded in our skin, we are simply all just peaches. Easily bruised and fruitfully delicate in how we are treated. The progression in banterful chats point suggestively towards the rise in controversy prevalent in the media. It could be assumed that since the rise in banter, people have become thin skinned, more sensitive in what others say and are actively searching for opportunities so they can take offence and play the victim. In this sense, one may conclude that banter is only successful if you know the person well enough to pick on them, or the person knows you well enough to understand your humour to be ‘just banter’ rather than a public display of socially accepted bullying. The importance of metalanguage contexts, more specifically the relationships between the people demonstrating banter, is crucial in determining the flow of slurs. When observing banter, you are generally able to notice the difference between positive and negative impoliteness:

Negative Impoliteness is obvious when the conversational tone develops a growing level of aggression, often including insults, criticism or preloaded words to achieve nasty and vicious blows to the opponent. It’s more like a verbal knockout in the ring of banter.

Positive Impoliteness infers more of a demonstration of mutual understanding in a playful tone and monitors the impact on the opponent so to avoid offence if the banter starts to get too personal.

In adjunct to this, does banter mean that social media has taken away our rights to express a freedom of speech? Putting controversial comments out in the public is dangerous enough without the concept of then having that, otherwise innocent, remark reported and pursued by an irrelevant external individual choosing to take offence to something that wasn’t targeted at them. See. We are all peaches, easily bruised and easily offended - but all with just no banter.

Choosing funny over friendship - is banter ever okay?

Let me just return to the concept of being online again. Social media sells itself to be a platform for everyone to create and follow content suitable for them and document images and opinions desirable to be shared with their online communities. Now let's introduce the element of social media accepting freedom of speech, meaning that we can comment and share whatever videos, photos and statuses we so wish...

…Okay, now imagine you’re scrolling through Instagram of an evening and discover that your best friend has posted a somewhat questionable selfie. I mean good for her, self love and all that because you’re down for a bit of positivity, but really? I mean she could’ve at least wiped last nights makeup off from around her eyes and picked up those dirty pants off the floor before taking the photo. Didn’t she see them lying there in full view, like they’re right there, fully featuring main stage in the background? So, as the supportive best friend that you are, you have two ways to approach demonstrating your online appreciation, as reluctant as you may feel about doing it:

Comment option 1: ‘Selfie Queen *carefully selected choice of emojis to imply admiration further*’ 

This way you get to support your friend in all of her choices, genuine or not, whilst also paying close attention to the fact that you aren’t complimenting her in the photo in question - it’s rather a nod to the fact she always posts selfies.

Comment option 2: ‘Great knicker choice babe. I personally find those ones cover your bum just the right amount.’

Funny. Banterful. Witty. All the things people would describe you in life, but also potentially a comment that might sabotage the friendship if she was to decide you were being rude. Key word here - decide. The power, as Paddy McGuinness famously says, is in her hands. Despite how much you actually hate this selfie and the fact that option 2 (if remarked in person) would be just banter, you simply can’t imagine being fake and saying how amazing she looks, would you truthfully decide to comment this - visible to all of her followers - over option 1 that supports and boosts her confidence? I think not. We simply are all too nice for our own goods.

Banter vs. Your Freedom of Speech.

The freedom of speech prevalent on social media platforms still proceeds to hold restrictive ties over each and every one of us. The expectations attached to certain uploads by friends and family demand support whether you like it or not. It’s almost like an unwritten rule of being online. We all like and comment on posts by our strong ties even if they are a slightly distorted version of how we actually feel. This ability to artificially construct our online personas have enabled us to portray the most admirable versions of ourselves who appear supportive and in admiration of our friends, however far this may be from the truth. To introduce banter online would probably be like pressing the self destruct button on ourselves, painful with no coming back from. 

Who’s to say the banter I find funny is the same as the next person? And who’s to say my level of tolerance in the banter I endure is as high as the next persons? Everyone is different meaning that no two people share the same sense of humour. So, to post a comment fuelled with banter and for you to expect the same satisfied reaction you felt when you wrote it, would be to deprive someone else of their freedom of speech if they wanted to reply by expressing their dissatisfaction of your comment. And yet the ability to post an opinion or comment (with or without banter) is still a freedom of speech and is regarded equally as valid as every replier, agreeing with you or otherwise.  

So, is banter dead?

Banter is slowly morphing into a forbidden feature on social media. The rise in prevention methods from allowing users to access or view your account has made the sensitivity of users reach an all time high. People are now more aware of the posts they share and the comments they make in order to maintain their following and avoid upsetting them with banter gone wrong. Online banter can provoke a strengthening of relationships if the users are close friends and aware of each others metalanguage so to avoid miscommunication and hatred. However the dangers of being banterful online may also conjure some negative attention from those unwilling to accept any explanation for your comment, other than the assumed offense.

So unless you know your audience, I advise you to put a lid on that canon of quick wit and wisecrack or else you might receive some unwanted attention from people with a banter deficiency. 

[queenofalotofdifferentworlds]

The Body is a Tool

(Character Study, whole thing on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18220610 )

"Without you, we won’t survive two days. You must take care of yourself." That had been the words of my Queen to me this morning. Her violet eyes had shone bright with truth and trust, something I was sure she would not acknowledge just yet. In truth, I could not be sure she knew about that trust.

Before that, she had ordered bedrest for myself using my words against me. I would have liked to curse my principals. Regardless, I would not lie and I would never lie to my Queen.

Being of service to the Queen had proven to be an exercise in an interesting use of my abilities and magic. The fact that Cass appeared to find new ways of injuring herself rather horrifically was only one of the concerning matters.

Lightly, I tapped on one of the books I had spread across the bed I sat on to read. In contrast to some other patient I could have thought of, I actually did what was best for my body most of the time. Even if it was an inconvenience. That was the second most concerning matter regarding our Queen.

I was torn from my contemplations by the rhythmic knocking on my door. “Come in.”

Cass stepped into the room, and without a doubt I knew her mindset was in a troubling state. She held her body like a warrior ready to spring into action at any second. Her face was a broken mask, hiding most but giving hints as to how disturbed she was. Not in the way she seemed to have been broken over the course of her life time and time again. Her companions, although still ununited, would protect the Queen and I could not see any of them serve punishments I knew Cass had endured over the course of her life. Something had happened.

The other thing I observed was the way she treated her injured hand.

"It seems I am the only one honouring our deal." I tried for a factual tone but could not quiet succeed. Adrenaline surged through my veins and activated my blood pressure. I wanted to grab and shake her. I wanted to make her understand. She had to perceive that she was important. Her person and her body were significant.

"I didn’t do any handstands and didn’t use it the whole day," Cass answered flippantly, letting the paper she carried in her uninjured hand fall on my bed and sat down beside it. Cass was very much still a mystery to me in some aspects, but I could read her pain like an open book. It was in stark contrast to Cass herself, who didn’t even seem to know that pain should never be constant. Feeling pain was not the norm and should never be treated lightly.

"And I am sure it was not your own merit." I had not meant to let those words slip. Since yesterday, it was harder for me to stop myself, to keep myself and those words that I knew could cause so much harm in check. No matter my personal wishes, I served the Queen and she needed to be tended like a splintered vase. She needed careful consideration and no pressure at all.

"The body is a tool."

My breath stopped in my throat. The single reason I did not do something indignant was her reaction. Still, I could not deny the icy shower that rushed down my spine and chilled me to my core.

Cass eyes widened and she swayed slightly. Obviously, she had quoted someone and had even used that person’s tone of voice. Flat and cruel. Her breathing failed, and it took more of my control than I would have cared to admit to not react in anyway. Her inner turmoil screamed through the violet of her eyes that probably saw scenes from her past that no one should have to live through even once.

Minutes later she blinked and I saw her return to the present. Only now I allowed myself to move. Psychology had not been part of my studies, but I tried to make up for lost time. What I did know was that she would probably react violently if she was startled when she saw her past, so it was better to wait for her to come back on her own. However long it took. However cruel and painful it was to stand by and watch her suffer.

"Maybe, but it is also the temple of your being. It deserves respect and care." I forced my voice to only betray compassion and calm. My nerves were strung so high I could practically feel them vibrate while I sat there, looking at an incredible kind person knowing that there was no logic that could explain that. These words were the bare minimum of what I wanted to tell her. I knew if I had not said them I would have choked on them. As a healer, I did not like to take lives, but I would feel great pleasure in killing whoever had taught Cass those belittling lies, torturing her into believing them.

"Every body carries the story of their lives." Exceedingly careful, I closed the book in my lap and placed it on the pile next to me. I needed to stay in control. Cass needed serenity right now. Not a healer that forgot himself because he felt protective of his charge.

“A healer learns to read it." I found her eyes and held them. My next words would hurt her, I knew. This whole conversation would hurt her. As a healer, I knew that sometimes you have to cut open a wound before you can heal it. It did not change the fact that I already hurt because I had to reopen festering wounds in her soul that probably bled since she was able to grasp reality around her.

"Your body shows a story I would not wish for anyone."

Cass averted her eyes. Her body shook with small tremors, and the way she bit down on her lip, made me wait for her to draw blood.

Deliberately, I employed movements that would move the mattress while standing up to let Cass know what happened around her. In these situations, she reminded me of a frightened dear. She could storm into a life or death situation without so much as stop eating her breakfast, but everything concerning emotions frightened her worse than any hell ever could.

My motions were reflective and slow while I sat down beside her and placed my hand on her forearm. She did not retreat, nor did she show any signs of discomfort. It took me a moment to gather my courage. This conversation had to happen.

"No matter what you were taught, it was all a lie." When she did not react, I squeezed her arm lightly. Even if I had been as free with physical affection as Leander was, I could not be sure that would be wanted by her in this instance. Still, I wished I could do something less harmful.

"Do you think I'm not aware of that?" She glared at my angrily. There was defiance in that pain. It always surprised me how much power and light were in those shattered eyes. That light was nothing like a flickering flame or the soothing shine of the moon. There were violet suns in the Queens eyes, burning with hundreds of explosions. A destructive force that was able to aid life.

"That is not my point." I let go of her and stood up. It was cowardice, plain and simple. I was not able to look at her while saying what had to be said. Hurting her was inevitable, but even so I could not look at what harm I would cause her.

"You treat your body like an enemy, like a disobedient tool." I walked slowly to my desk, grabbing at all strands of courage that I could find in me. "I have seen your scars and how little attention you give to your injuries and pain.” I heard my grief bleeding in those words. I felt my face contort in an expression I had hidden every time I had seen her scarred body and listened to proofs of her granular soul. Preparing myself for what was to come, I turned.

"It scares me, my Queen."

Cass stared at me in shock, able to see my emotions clearly. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes, and I turned away. I would argue that the proud fighter she was would not appreciate that someone observed what she would consider weakness. That was quiet possibly the truth and also not the reason I turned away. I worked noiselessly while listening to every wrecked breath and every quiet sob.

The fierce pain in my chest was only almost bearable. Torn between pleading for forgiveness and comforting her, I kept working on an ointment. The hot tickles of tears on my face were testimony to how much I cared for that girl that had been bestowed one of the greatest honours one could imagine in this world. I guessed that feeling could not be any more intensive if she actually was my little sister.

I heard movement behind me of skin being rubbed, and I used that chance to clean my face as well. Listening to the calming breathing and making sure I was actually able to be of use to her, I turned, carrying a tray to her with what I had just prepared. Forcing the serenity back on my expression nearly caused me physical pain, which I would gladly accept as punishment for what I had done.

I sat down next to her and she held out her hand without a word. Whatever she still might tell herself, she had begun to trust at least Leander, Amalia and myself. She gave even more evidence of that fact when she drank the pain reliever without a question.

The disgust on her face regarding the unpleasant taste brought a smile to my lips. She reciprocated with a twitch of her own.

“It will relieve the pain and help you sleep."

She nodded to that, as if she did not care. “Thank you.”

There was a new tone in her voice. Something small and vulnerable, with just a trace of hope, if I was not mistaken.

This is a character study of Takumi, a character of Throne, which is also available on ao3:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/16293821/chapters/38107559 

also this is a gift to you Love @ensignanna

[leachalvarado4-blog]

Obtaining good sex with an escort

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[twilightprince101]

Singanronpa: What is True Friendship? (Curtain Call)

[Previous] [Next]

Finally able to get this out there, coming to the second most important thing about Danganronpa; the investigations! Lemme just say that I’m really excited for how this turned out, and although it was a long time coming (exams and family stuff happened, my bad), we can finally get back on this train! However let me just say that, while in traditional Danganronpa games, you were able to see what was concrete evidence via truth bullets, I think I might be best to take a more Phoenix Wright route and leave everything up to interpretation. However if you manage to correctly guess what exactly happens before it is revealed, then kudos to you! (if you’d like I could even do a shout out once the full chapter is over) The main thing I’ll retain from the original game is the point and click style format; you’ll know it when you see it. But enough talk, let’s get to it!

ATTENTION!!! Danganronpa is home to lots of graphic content, particularly violence, death and graphic depictions of that death. If you are sensitive to any of these things and several other mature themes, DANGANRONPA IS NOT FOR YOU!!! You have been warned.

For what seems like an eternity, time stands still as all of the animals stare at the scene in front of them. Nobody knows how to react while looking down at the motionless bodies of Johnny and Stephanie. Meena is pressed up against the far wall, eyes staring at nothing while her breathing is as fast as a speeding train’s beat. Buster even refuses to believe it at first. But then-

Mike: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!

Chaos unfolds and everyone freaks out.

Gunter, Nancy, David and Rosita scream in terror.

Ember, Jude, Matt, Ash and Mike all begin cursing up a storm and try to wake themselves up from the nightmare they’re in.

Buster and Julee try to hold back their dinner. Julee fails and sprints for the trash can.

Eddie and Riley go still from shock and are still frozen in place

Meena is now curling up and pressing her ears against her face.

While everyone is still freaking out, Monokuma appears, satisfied with the despair everyone is feeling. Although everyone keeps panicking and doesn’t acknowledge his presence, so the bear pulls out an air horn and honks it to catch everyone’s attention.

After tossing the horn, the bear comments on how the scene before them is a sight to behold at how the first murder happened so quick, yet so sloppily. However, he admits that he’s seen worse, and simply laughs, prompting a yell of denial from Mike.

Mike: IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK GAME TO YOU?! TWO PEOPLE ARE DEAD!!!

Monokuma: Well, I literally called this the “Killing Game,” so…

The bear then prompts everyone that any questions about the oncoming investigation will refer to the black section of the pamphlets they were all given earlier. He also gives them a red folder with a black number 1 circled in white with the outline of the bear’s head, explaining that it is the Monokuma File, and “Gives all the juicy details on any murder that takes place here!”

Monokuma: We used to have a really cool digital version instead of paper but… well some budget cuts happened and now we’re here.

After wishing everyone (including the culprit) good luck, the bear vanishes once more, leaving everyone slack-jawed from their presented task. Riley is the first to speak up after the bear leaves, asking “Why… why did Johnny have to… how did this happen?”

Julee speaks up as well, stating that she had a slight feeling from the start that the quietest one would be the first to act. “It is the most common in these scenarios after all,” she says. “if there’s one thing I know, it’s that everyone has a dark side.”

But Buster immediately tries to counter this, saying that he’s researched everyone’s history, and Meena was one of the kindest people he scouted out, even going as far to list different charitable things she’s done like work at a soup kitchen. However, Ash and Gunter dismiss this statement as creepy, not taking it seriously. Rosita does jumps in, saying that she knows how certain people behave since she’s been around her kids for so long.

Rosita: I can say for a fact that Meena could not have done this on purpose. I’ve been around a lot of children throughout my life and I can always tell what exactly they’re like after being around them. My motherly intuition is never wrong!

This sparks a bit of debate between Rosita, Mike, Julee and Nancy while everyone else is still freaking out. Buster tries to think of any possible explanation for this situation, still denying in his mind that any of this was happening.

But once Meena begins to mutter “I didn’t mean to” over and over again, everyone stops and rushes to her side, asking her what exactly happened. The elephant is pulling her ears as close together as possible while streaks of tears wash away a bit of the blood splattered on her cheeks. Through a shaky breath, Meena begins to explain the events that had transpired in the room.

“Johnny and I… we were together in here, talking about the notes. Th-there was a knock at the door and, and Johnny opened it and-and she rushed in with one of Ash’s quills. She was trying to kill me I-I had to-... Johnny tried to protect me, but h-he was getting hurt and-and I tried to help but I hit him and then, Steph ran at m-me and… And I…..” She suddenly burst out sobbing again.

The room is silent once again. Everyone present is agape at the Soprano’s confession and doesn’t know exactly how to process what was just said. Even though it seemed like the most logical answer to some, they still couldn’t believe it.

Rosita and David try to comfort Meena, trying to calm her down while Matt sits down and chuckles in shock, trying to find some sort of humor in the situation.

Matt: The first murder of the killing game and it’s an accident. Haha… this isn’t even funny.

Mike then speaks up, saying that while it is shocking, he was silently expecting it due to Meena’s timid nature. “She was meek and quiet, it’s only natural for this to happen. It’s as they say though, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

Buster, however, still states that something feels off about the situation, and all of the attention is turned towards him. Mostly everyone-save for Nancy, Eddie, Gunter and Ember-say that Meena had already confessed to the crime and question his morals.

David: Can’t you see she’s grieving right now man?

Ash: Figures, the morals align with the creeper’s actions.

Jude: What would even be the point of her lying right now if it would get us killed?!

After taking a moment of consideration from hearing Jude’s words, Nancy asks for what would happen if there was an accomplice involved and reaches for her pamphlet, reading the desired segment aloud. “In the case of the blackened gaining an accomplice to their crimes, only the killer, the one that has done the deed, will be permitted to graduate and escape to the outside world.”

While the other Ultimates become more sure than ever that Meena was telling the truth, Buster admits that he is still uncertain and asks Meena if she was certain that her entire confession was true. Perhaps she was mistaken at some point.

After jumping slightly, she stutters out a yes and states that she was absolutely sure. While this does cause more angered glances in Buster’s direction, the showman states that something else still could’ve happened. Gunter begins to catch on and states that, perhaps, Meena didn’t kill Stephanie and that she only THINKS she did so.

At this point, there are three groups;

Meena killed: Rosita, Meena, David, Riley, Ash, Jude, Julee

Something else happened: Nancy

Uncertain: Gunter, Mike, Ember, Matt, Buster, Eddie

After sides are taken, Buster requests that he takes a look around, since he assumes that these games typically include the investigations as well. Nancy confirms this, and also tells everyone siding with Meena that if they are way too hasty, then they’ll end up like Killing Game #14. Everyone in the room is sent a jolt of fear, and then after considering for a bit, Rosita reluctantly allows them their investigation.

Eddie, currently waiting in the hall due to concerns of being attacked, pipes up and says that he wants to help as well. Many are suspicious of him and are hesitant to this idea though.

Mike: Um, yeah, who ask you exactly?

Rosita: I mean… you don’t have to if you don’t want to, you could just leave it to us.

Ember: Yeah, I’m pretty sure we can handle it by ourselves.

Buster waves everyone down and asks that they listen to what he has to say. After giving a confirming nod to Eddie-who is visibly sweating from stress-the servant begins to explain himself.

Eddie: When Monokuma introduced me, he said I- he said I was supposed to obey him, but that I could be a p-player as well. A-and he also likes it when class trials are ex-exciti-cool, right? So maybe if I could-I mean, play too then, it would… be…. Alright?

The entire time he is saying this, he is staring at his collar, as if he’s preparing himself for the alarm to sound and to apologize. Everyone else feels his hesitation as well when they catch on to his worries. But then, the light on the collar turns green and emits a sound similar a the seat belt sign on an airplane, and the sheep gives a sigh of relief, followed by everyone else.

Those insisting that Meena is the killer grumble and go back to what they’re doing. Buster applauds Eddie for his bravery who, in response, blushes slightly and admits that he was scared to death the entire time he was saying that. But after a small talk, the two agree to investigate together, since both of them are the ones attracting the most suspicious glances.

Right before they begin, Buster remembers Crawley’s letter and tries to draw even the slightest bit of courage from it. He recalls Crawley telling him to not be afraid so he can end the killing games and lead everyone to freedom. So with a desire to prove himself to the Ultimates, the duo’s resolve strengthens.

-----INVESTIGATION START----

Monokuma File #1

To begin, Buster and Eddie read the Monokuma file aloud so everyone else can hear them. It contains a single laminated paper with a picture of Stephanie’s corpse, a grayscale photo of Stephanie with bits of pink highlights on her fur, and a list of notes. The following is a summarized version of the file:

“The victim is Stephanie Hornbaker, the Ultimate Makeup Artist. The victim's body was discovered in Meena Jones, the Ultimate Soprano’s room. The established time of death is [REDACTED]. The victim was subject to blunt force trauma to the back of the skull, resulting in cranial fractures and immediate death. Several miscellaneous injuries accompany the body as well, including significant lacerations along the torso and irritation on the upper arms.”

The two immediately take notice of how the time of death has been blacked out, despite all of the other details being so specific. To erase confusion, Ember states that different details in murders tend to be cut out in killing games, as they would be defining evidence to the Blackened. “It makes sense,” says Eddie, “since he also wants to make these games interesting for the animals watching.”

Mike is disgusted at how the bear treats the murder as some sick show and not-so-silently curses at the bear.

Matt then asks for what Johnny’s file says and the koala takes out the paper to look for the next but, to his surprise, he finds no such paper. The duo look around to see if the paper dropped anywhere, but once again find nothing. A bit of confusion is passed around to the animals, but then Riley gasps, realizing something that they don’t.

Riley: W-wait… does that mean…?!

A low groan of pain is emitted and everyone stops dead in their tracks. They look between each other for a moment, then once another groan is let loose, everyone looks to the floor to find Johnny struggling to get up. Johnny was alive!

Everyone scrambles around Johnny, Meena and Riley especially. He is still bleeding heavily and the metallic drops of red soak his fur. Rosita looks around the room and yells for “any medical supplies at all” so she can help him. Buster says that there’s some in his room and Eddie runs to go get it while the koala yells to him the details of its location.

The greaser flops to his back and everyone gets in his face, barraging him with a mini-gun's worth of questions.

Ember: What happened?! Did Meena really kill Stephanie?!

Riley: Please, please please, don’t go! You’re not gonna die too, right?!

David: Johnny, what happened here?! Are you alright?!

Amidst all of the animals clamoring to get an answer out of the gorilla, Johnny was only able to look at the soprano, who is currently leaking tears and gripping his paw while apologizing profusely. When he began to open his mouth, everyone went quiet once again. Right before he closed his eyes once again, Johnny spoke to Meena “It’s… n-not your… fault…..”

As the room goes silent once again, Eddie returns with the entire first aid kit. Rosita immediately gets to work, with nearly everyone working along with her. Meena, with a blank look in her eyes, goes back to where she was and begins to sob once more.

Once Johnny is patched up, the mother explains that Johnny will survive. He lost a lot of blood though, so it’s likely that he won’t wake up for a good while. But on the topic of the greaser, the participants talk about Johnny’s last words. Riley says that, along with Meena’s confession, it’s clear now what exactly happened.

This, however, sparks a bit of a debate between the Ultimates, with some saying that it didn’t clear up any suspicion while others say it’s the final nail in the coffin for the soprano. Riley, in an offended tone, accuses those not on Meena’s side for trying to drag out the elephant’s suffering, and tells the Ultimate that he’ll help her out. Meena says nothing in response to this, she simply looks at the stage actor, then looks back down to the floor.

Before the debate gets out of hand, Nancy and Ember calm everyone down and convinces everyone to get back to the actual investigation. Riley goes to Meena’s side to try and talk to her and see what he can do to prove her guilt while the rest of the Ultimates go back to what they were originally doing.

Stephanie’s body

Knowing that they should get it out of the way, the koala approaches the victim’s corpse, suppressing the urge to vomit. Buster looks at the Monokuma file once again and lists the different places that Stephanie was injured so he can inspect them, dreading the thought of even getting close to the body.

However as he’s about to put the file away, he spots Eddie approaching the body to inspect it without a smidgen of hesitation. The showman is astonished by this skill, but before he can say anything about it, Eddie explains the different details of Stephanie’s wounds.

Eddie: Everything in the Monokuma file does match. Bludgeoning to the head, lacerations across the body, significant rashes on the arms. But the one thing I don’t get is why the fur is wet-

Buster waves him to stop before he can continue, asking how he could have been able to just walk up to a corpse like that like it was nothing. A few of the Ultimates are also looking at the servant with a mix of shock and disgust. Eddie doesn’t understand why they’re shocked, but still apologizes.

Deciding it would be best to ask about it later, the showman asks about what he was going to say. Eddie then states that Stephanie’s entire body is damp, like a thoroughly ringed out towel. After trying to think of possible reasons for her fur to be damp, they consider asking Meena about it to clear the suspicion. But since Riley is still interrogating her, they save it for the trial.

Johnny Serafinowicz and Rosita Brown

The duo approaches Rosita, who is still trying to make sure that Johnny is safe and healing. The showman thanks her for her medical skills, saying that if she hadn’t been there, then Johnny most likely would have also went down with Stephanie. Rosita thanks them, but doesn’t think much of her skills, saying that it was just another thing that she needed to know to help her several children.

Rosita: Then again, I suppose that night school for my medical degree wasn’t all for nothing, so that’s nice.

When Eddie asks how long Johnny will be out for, Rosita admits that she isn’t exactly sure. The worst case scenario is that he’d be unconscious for the entire class trial, leaving the group without a key witness. However she still states with certainty that Meena’s actions were simply an accident, saying that the soprano would never do something so selfish willingly.

Rosita: I know for certain; my motherly intuition is never wrong!

The mother allows the two to check Johnny’s body, as long as they’re careful. After the two do a quick inspection, they find that many of the gorilla’s injuries are similar to those listed in Stephanie’s Monokuma file: cuts and bruises along the body and a blow to the head-the only thing missing is the rashes on the arms.

However in place of the irritation, Buster notices something about Johnny’s hands while the sheep and mother are talking about the injuries. He flips over the currently palm-down arm, much to Rosita’s disapproval, to find that the paw is completely clean. He flips over the other one as well, getting similar results. But due to Rosita heavily insisting him to leave Johnny alone to recover, the koala steps away and is unable to fully process what this could mean. He then leaves with Eddie to look for something else.

Ash Spinosa and Julee Hartford

Since he saw Ash right before he ran to his office, Buster tries to talk to the rocker and figure out what she might have seen or heard. The rocker is currently standing guard on the wall with Julee, making sure that nobody tampers with the crime scene in any way, while also talking about possible clues that could be useful during the trial.

When the duo approaches, the two are visibly disgusted by their presence and openly state this as well.

Ash: Ah look, the stalker and the creeper working together in arms. I honestly don’t know why I expected less.

Julee: Heh, to be honest I think they’re practically made for each other considering their hobbies.

The two pretend not to hear those comments and request that they ask the two some questions. Both of them clench their teeth in response to this, but since both of them know the gravity of their current situation, they allow the two to do their thing.

However when Buster explains what exactly he saw and asks the rocker about it, Ash has no idea what she’s talking about and thinks that the koala is spouting nonsense. When going deeper into detail about what he saw and what happened, Ash assumes that he’s crazy, as their rooms aren’t even remotely close to each other like he described.

Julee offers up the idea of Buster trying to pin the blame on her and Ash states that she wouldn’t put it past him. When Eddie tries to defend him by saying that it would only get him killed, the two say that they don’t really know what’s going on in the koala’s head so he can’t exactly say that. Deciding it would be useless to press any further, the koala leaves the two alone and investigates elsewhere.

Severed bed leg and Ember Gibson

In between Stephanie’s body and Meena, the giant bed leg laid on the ground just outside of the small pools of blood. Ember is currently inspecting the weapon herself as well, making sure not to touch it. The bed leg is half bloody and half clean and, due to Meena’s giant height, the bed leg was about as tall as the servant himself. Buster tries to lighten the mood by saying that it only helps with the investigation since he could crawl inside of it for clues.

Ember: You sound a little too enthusiastic to do that.

Buster: ...I like cramped spaces…

The rapper comments that she has finished her own inspection of the bed leg itself and shares her findings with the duo:

“The bed leg itself is the most likely candidate for the murder weapon according to Meena’s confession, the amount of blood covering the surface, and the indents aligning with the two head injuries. The indents themselves are strange though, as they’re both on opposite ends of the pole, even the clean part. It might be due to how tight Meena gripping the pole though; she’s naturally strong after all. However the most confusing thing is the heat of the pole. You would expect the clean part to at least be lukewarm, since Meena was gripping it while attacking. But it’s actually ice cold, like if it was left out during a snowstorm. *sigh* If I had some fingerprint powder this investigation would be done so much faster.”

Buster thanks Ember for the quick briefing and Eddie comments on Ember’s desire for fingerprint powder, saying that she sounds like a detective from an old school movie. The badger puts on a lax, smug expression, saying that before he came to the theater she was actually a pretty famous detective. But when Buster calls her out, saying that she didn’t work for the police, she begins to stumble over her words.

Ember: W-well, I, uh… I mean I still freakgigbph… why don’t you go investigate somewhere th-not here?

Jude Therna, Meena Jones, Jackson Riley, and David Flowerson

The showman and servant approach Jude and David, who are together comforting Meena while Riley asks her questions. When they spot the duo, they whisper something to the racoon and elephant, then get up to step in between the four.

David says that it would be best to leave the soprano alone for the time being, since she’s already on the verge of a breakdown because of Riley questioning her. He isn’t exactly being aggressive, but everything is a sensitive subject to her for obvious reasons.

Respecting their wishes, Buster decides to ask a few questions to the two, starting with who found the crime scene first. Jude freely states that they did, leaving the duo in slight shock. But before they can continue, the jaguar stops any suspicion towards them before it starts, saying that they have an alibi.

The entire night since 10:00 PM, they did a night watch to make sure that nobody tried anything. Although they do openly state their sorrow for not being able to prevent the crime in the end, David tries to comfort the street performer by saying there was nothing they could have done. Jude just shakes their head as if to shake away their doubts, then tells the three about the details of the night watch:

10:00 PM: Nightwatch begins. Buster is spotted running to his office, leaving his door open behind him. They checked his room for anything suspicious, but found nothing.

Buster looks away red cheeked at how obvious he must have seemed while he was “sneaking away.”

10:13 PM: Meena leaves her room while holding a letter in her hands, looking around as if she was trying to sneak somewhere. As she crossed the hall Jude intercepted her and began to ask where exactly she was going, startling her in the process. She then slips their note underneath Stephanie’s door and runs back to her room. Jude tries to knock on the door to see what the note had on it, but there was no answer.

10:59 PM: Jude does not go into too much detail about what happens, simply stating that they had stomach troubles and went to the downstairs men’s bathroom.

Jude: I swear we need more healthy things to eat in this stupid place.

Around 11:06 PM: David joins the jaguar in their bathroom suffering session.

11:13 PM: As the jaguar left the bathroom, a scream rang out, most likely Meena’s. They ran back up to her room, with David close behind, and then saw the crime already committed. Once the two had seen the scene, the Body Discovery Announcement played.

When asked by Eddie why the two went to the downstairs bathroom instead of their own, Jude states that their room was at the other end of the hall and they took watch by the stairs, as it was a better hiding spot. As for David, he simply states that his bad luck struck once again and leaves it at that. Buster guiltily admits that he hasn’t really been paying attention to the room layout.

When Jude complains about the lack of actual meals in the theater, saying that they could really go for a peanut butter-banana sandwich, Buster shamefully admits that he is used to eating the way he does.

Mike Maximus, Matt Pine and Gunter Schwartz

Over to the side, the Crooner, Drummer and Dancer are all talking together about something. From a distance, Buster can hear them saying something about Stephanie and the dorms, but once they spot the two listening in, they back off and don’t resume talking until the two leave.

Inside the bathroom

Deciding that there is nothing else in the main room to investigate, the two look inside of the bathroom for any more clues. Nancy is already in there by herself, climbing up one of the ginormous hand towels that’s the size of a refrigerator for her. When the duo comment on why exactly she was in there alone, she tells them that since everyone else is focused on the crime scene itself, nobody is looking for clues in other possible locations. She also states that her efforts weren’t fruitless, as she has already found something.

Nancy Addams

When the two join Nancy to try and figure out what she found, she climbs to the top of the rack holding the hand towel and shoves it off to the floor, sprawling it out for them all to see. It drops to the floor with an audible SCHLOP, getting a few drops of water on the two larger animals.

When the towel itself is laid flat, the trio finds that not only is the towel wet, it has a few faint red and brown spots sprawled across it. When trying to guess what exactly the spots could be and what the towel is used for, none of them can get a general conscientious. However Nancy does state that all of the spots were on the inside of the towel while it was on the rack. And because of how damp it is, the negotiator states that the towel was used recently, and it was also deliberately hidden from sight.

Eddie thanks Nancy for finding the towel, guessing that it is a very important clue. Nancy accepts the praise, saying that she had a sneaking suspicion that something else was happening. When asked by the koala HOW she knew, she looks away and rubs her shoulder, saying that she’s “had experience with liars before.” However she isn’t willing to go into more detail beyond this.

Messy sink

Spotting some puddles over by the sink, Buster walks over to investigate. There are several wet spots scattered about, with a few drops leaking from the sink itself. But because of the height, it takes the efforts of both Buster and Eddie to see what’s up top.

After being lifted up by the servant, Buster finds that the sink itself is empty, but very wet and slick. Upon closer inspection, the koala spots a tiny bit of fur near the drain and turns on the faucet to investigate, letting the clear water flow. Then, coming flowing out via murky brown water, several strands of small, brown fur come into view.

After being let back down, Buster (regretfully) takes a handful of the fur and tries to take a closer look. Due to the color of the water it appeared brown, but after being dried off by the bottom of Buster’s shirt, the three are able to spot a slight orange tint. However, none of the animals can think of who it belongs to or how it got there.

Exiting the bathroom

Finding everything they could in the bathroom, the three prepare to exit, but are interrupted by Eddie suddenly doubling over and clutching his stomach. Nancy and Buster can audibly hear his stomach gurgling as he winces from the pain.

Asking as nicely but desperately as possible, Eddie requests that the two leave him alone in the bathroom, deciding not to state the obvious. Nancy asks if the servant is okay, but Buster just decides to lead her out of the room for his friend’s sake, making sure to close the door behind them.

Spotting Mike, Gunter and Matt from earlier huddling around each other, the two decide to investigate and figure out what they’re up to. Once again they aren’t willing to talk to Buster, but with Nancy present, Mike suddenly grows a heart. The duo look at each other with the look.

Deciding it would be no use to argue, Gunter presents a small key chain that only contains a silver key and a plastic tag with a cosmetics kit logo on both sides. The dancer explains that, after inspecting Stephanie’s body, they found the key in one of her pockets. Matt also comments that they figured out that it was Stephanie’s room key, and were going to go to investigate.

The crooner then invites the negotiator to go with them and she says yes, but also offers that Buster goes with them. The three show hesitation at this offer and say that it might be best if not much of a big group goes at once, but then Nancy tells them about Buster finding the fur in the sink, stating that Buster is pretty skilled at finding small details.

Reluctantly, they agree. As they leave for the door, Buster feels like he should wait for Eddie to finish so he could come along as well. However considering the fact that they were already annoyed with him coming along and how long it took Jude and David to finish their “sessions,” he decided that it was for the best to just leave.

As the group heads for the door, with Buster being at the tail’s end, the showman suddenly stops and looks back to the door itself. It had a blood splatter along the bottom, most likely due to Stephanie slashing at the gorilla’s leg. 

Going along with a hunch, the koala backtracks and closes the door slightly to peek at the other side. Then, not being sure if he should feel accomplished or anxious, Buster spots a bloodstain around the top of the door with a strange shape. It does not seem like it got there naturally from the fight from earlier.

As much as Buster wants to bring it up, something in his gut tells the koala he should leave it be until the Class Trial, and he runs to catch up with the others.

Inside Stephanie’s room

After unlocking the door and opening up the makeup artist’s room, the five enter to find a cluttered mess. Clothes are scattered around everywhere with no sense of order, a vanity nearby is covered with makeup supplies for different features, varying from fur to nails, and any previous ideas of a clean, orderly room were thrown out of the window.

Mike comments on how unexpected it was for somebody with an Ultimate talent designed to make things look pretty would have a bedroom belonging to a slob. However Matt states that it might be like this so Stephanie could hide something. Right before Mike can scoff at the idea for sounding childish, Gunter says that it might be a good idea to search through the stuff to find any clues.

The group then splits up for the time being, with each animal looking in different places for clues.

Stephanie’s Bed

After cleaning out a bunch of junk from on top of the bed and making sure that everything was tidy, the showman was not able to find any clues. However after looking under the bed, he finds a crumpled up piece of paper that he can’t reach. The two mice, however, help roll it out for them to inspect.

After flattening it out on the mattress, the group reads the hastily written note aloud.

“I can’t sleep at all, I can’t stop thinking about my family. I’m scared that someone might kill me. So far in this theater, you’ve been the only friend I’ve had and the only one I can trust. Please come to my room, I need somebody to talk to. I’m not sure how much longer I can stand being alone.”

The note itself had no signature saying who it was from, nor a name stating who it was addressed to. The group discusses to figure out where it came from, but only Buster manages to figure out that it came from Meena, as Jude stated earlier that she slipped the note underneath the makeup artist’s door. However due to underlying suspicion, he cannot bring himself to tell the others and saves that fact for the class trial.

Gunter Schwartz

After some more searching, the dancer calls everyone over to the vanity to show his findings: a large, thoroughly used set of makeup tools and cosmetics. The brushes had been frayed and worn down, and nearly all of the cosmetics were used to the last pinch of powder.

Mike thinks of this as strange, as he has never exactly seen her with any sort of makeup. However Buster suggests that the fox might have always had makeup on, and they didn’t even know it.

To prove the point, Nancy asks Mike if she’s wearing any makeup, expecting it to be a tough question. But then the crooner tries to pull a fast one and says that, either way, she’s still the most beautiful woman he’s seen. Everyone is taken aback by the suddenness of the comment; Matt whistles and says “smooth.” Nancy goes back to investigating her side of the room while power walking.

Matt Pine

After LOTS of cleaning later, Matt finds a bunch of garbage that he tries to shoot into the wastebasket like a basketball. He’s almost dunked everything, but as he gets to a crumbled up envelope, he stops to take a look inside. After he does so, he calls everyone over so they can all look at the evidence.

The envelope was the one Stephanie had gotten for her respective motive letter. The contents within were similar as well: a news article showing that Stephanie’s loved ones had been kidnapped and a letter from Stephanie’s mother herself. The contents of the letter goes as follows:

“Stephanie,      Please, you need to help me. I’ve been kidnapped and I don’t know where I am or what’s going on. I’m scared and I want to go home, to see you again. I know that this may seem undignified for your mother to say, but I’m terrified. I’m not even sure if you’re safe, these men told us to write notes to you. Please be safe dear, oh god please be safe.      My little munchkin, I love you. I love you so, so, so, so much. So please, you need to get me out of here. I’m not sure what these animals want; if it’s money, get the savings for my student loans from the safe, you already know where it is. Don’t even bother with the code, break it open and give them the money. I want to hold you in my arms again sweetie; I want to feel your warmth again and play bad board games like we used to. I’m sorry for always putting so much pressure on you, just please, help your mother and get me out of here.      I love you my little munchkin. Always and forever. Your loving mother.

After a moment of silence, the five about the letter itself, with Nancy commenting on how sad it was. Matt says that he knows it’s supposed to be a motive letter, but that just seemed outright depressing.

Buster decides to explain to the others why it was written this way. The mother and daughter were always very close, as the father was emotionally distant while she grew up. She was supposed to inherit the family beauty parlor and walked in her mother’s footsteps, although it always caused her a great deal of anxiety to do so. In the end, though, it helped in a way, as that was her driving force to become an Ultimate.

Once again the Ultimates around him comment on how it was creepy he knew these things, but he shushes them and continues anyway.

Right as Buster is about to go into detail at how it caused Stephanie stress and what habits came because of it, a noise comes from the monitor up on the wall, showing Monokuma sipping martini from a fancy glass, despite him being a robot.

He tells everyone that he’s grown bored while the investigation has dragged on, so he’s gonna start the class trial right away, so all of the participants should meet at the front entrance of the theater.

Monokuma: I hope this turns out to be another thrilling, bone chilling, despair filling class trial for the ages! Puhuhuhuhu!

Despite having a lingering feeling of dread and a hint of there being something they didn’t get to in Stephanie’s room, the five head towards the front entrance after gathering all of the evidence that they found. Mike is relieved, as he was getting very tired with trying to clean garbage that was more than twice his size.

Moon Theater Lobby

When the group joins up with everyone else, they find the Ultimates loudly arguing amongst each other with no real side to the matter. Julee, David and Riley, however, are all talking to Ash, with all of them seeming downright furious.

Ash: So what are you saying I did?! Killed Stephanie, took a bath in Meena’s sink, dried off then walked back to my room naked?

Julee: I’m not saying it’s impossible!

Ash: AND I AM SAYING YOU’RE INSANE!!!

Stepping in to stop the fighting, the group asks what is happening to cause all of the commotion. Jude steps forward and points at the rocker, shouting that the porcupine had killed Stephanie. Ash yells back that they’re insane but Buster stops the fighting once again, asking Jude for proof.

The jaguar says fine in an aggravated tone, calling over Eddie, who is off to the side and holding something in his arms, looking deep in thought. The showman asks the servant what exactly is going on, to which the sheep steps forward and reveals what he was holding:

A wet set of Ash’s clothes and a bundle of porcupine quills.

Eddie explains that, right before he went to the bathroom, he flushed the toilet to make sure that it wasn’t clogged. “Just my luck it was…” but to his surprise, after he unclogged it, he found Ash’s clothes stuck in the toilet. It was clear that they were meant to be flushed away and hidden from view.

Ash butts in and tries to give her side of the story, which is simply “I don’t know how those got there, that sheep is trying to frame me!” which, sadly, isn’t much of a good argument in the killing games. As the group begins to argue once more, it becomes clear who is siding with who.

Meena Killed: Rosita, Meena, Riley, David

Ash Killed: Julee, Jude, Ember, Eddie

Something else happened: Buster, Mike, Nancy, Gunter, Matt, Ash

Eddie apologizes to Buster, saying that he can’t side with him this time. With the fur and clothes being in the bathroom and the hand towel being Ash’s height, he believes that the current evidence is leaning towards Ash being the killer. Buster does feel slightly hurt, but knows that he doesn’t mean it personally and focuses on finding the truth.

Johnny, meanwhile, is lying face up on a stretcher colored black, white and red. Rosita explains that, since it would be difficult carrying Johnny to the Class Trial, the MonoCult provided them with a stretcher. Unfortunately, Johnny has shown no signs of recovery, so it’s likely that they’ll have to do the class trial without him.

As the sides continue to argue, the iron plates on the front door begin to hiss and slowly open up, letting out a bit of steam for theatrical effect in the process. Once the steam clears, the hopes of the doors leading to their freedom is dashed, as on the other side is a rustic group elevator.

Feeling the tension lingering in the air, the participants are hesitant to step inside, as the bear obviously wants them to. However with the fact in mind that they are all at Monokuma and the MonoCult’s mercy, they all walk in, with Gunter and Meena holding the different sides of Johnny’s stretcher.

As the iron gate closes in front of them, the elevator begins to ascend higher and higher, making a few of the animals need to pop their ears due to the sudden change in pressure. Everyone is silent; the only noise is the clanking of the elevator as it rises higher and higher.

Ash, trying to not attract any attention to herself, nudges Buster and whispers to him if he believes that she killed Meena as well. Her wide eyes and shaky voice suggests that she is truly terrified, which is shocking considering how she tried to keep a calm demeanor the entire time she was in the theater.

Buster says that, even after looking over all of the evidence, he can not be certain as to what exactly happened. All he can truly say is that, no matter what happened and who is the killer, he’s going to try to find the truth. Ash does not know how to respond to this and steps away, going quiet once again.

Once the elevator screeches to a halt, the iron gate in front of them opens up wide to reveal the class trial room. Black and white checkered tiles on the floor accompany a red circle of carpet, lying underneath sixteen podiums similar to a witness stand in court. One of the podiums has a black and white portrait of the victim of the case, Stephanie, crossed off in red eyeliner and brushes painted over. David openly hopes that the red isn’t blood, but the bear simply chuckles in response.

Set aside from them all is a sort of throne designed for a small animal, and of course, Monokuma is sitting in it, drinking his martini.

Along the walls, blue wallpaper stood alongside golden pillars that reached to the high up ceiling, which stretched until one had to lie on their back to see the top. Along with the wallpaper, crimson curtains stood tall, hiding whatever could be underneath with an element of mystique.

Each of the podiums in the center were the same height, but a few had steps or ladders that allowed smaller animals to look over the stands. Along with being the same height, each stand had a brass symbol bearing logos that were similar to the ones on their key tags. The logos themselves were colored black, red and white. Buster begins to catch up on the theme of everything.

Buster: Two top hats and a cane Eddie: The iron collar he was forced to wear Meena: A treble clef Johnny: Their gang’s getaway truck Ash: Sheet music Gunter: Tap dance shoes Rosita: Plates and a soapy sponge Mike: A bass clef Nancy: A speech bubble Ember: Papers covered with lyrics and a magnifying glass Matt: Drums Riley: Comedy and Tragedy stage play masks Jude: A watch being held in a paw David: A stage light Julee: A microphone used for recording Stephanie: A cosmetics kit

Along the top walls are stadium-like seats, each filled with a different camera used for filming TV shows. When Riley asks what the purpose of them all is, Monokuma states that they’re used for broadcasting the killing game to their respective channels across the world. He wants to get the excitement at all angles, so he can get that sweet despair in HD.

Johnny, after being brought over to his stand, sat down by Meena in a folding chair. His body slides downwards awkwardly, and after a few attempts to sit him upright, she gives up. As the stretcher is set down and Gunter walks to his stand, Meena turns back to Johnny, gives him a hug, then walks over to her stand without saying a word.

With the tension lingering in the air, everyone can feel the stakes of the trail at hand; Buster especially. He thinks about how Stephanie’s death could have been avoided, and what he could have done to prevent it. But after grieving for a moment, he shakes it away, and focuses on the present.

“Somebody in this room killed Stephanie. Whoever had done it… I will find them. I’ll lead everyone to victory, and help everyone live on another day without fear. I’ll face this class trial head on, I won’t back down. This lingering dread, this despair… IT ALL ENDS TONIGHT!!!”

Ch. 1: What is True Friendship (Curtain Call) END

OC Credits

Ember Gibson and Matt Pine belong to @elceetheporcupine Stephanie Hornbaker belongs to @mediasploshion Jude Therna belongs to @twilightprince101 (hey that’s me!) Jackson Riley belongs to ISmellOfStardustAndErasers (deactivated) David Flowerson and Julee Hartford belong to @superlevelup-reviews

Writing and editing

@twilightprince101 and ISmellOfStardustAndErasers (deactivated)

[ivy-stclaire]

Flowers

Prompt: a friend suggested it to me. The reader is crushing on Melendez and receives flowers, she thinks they’re from Neil but they’re actually from Jared.

When you stepped inside the hospital lobby, you instantly felt the atmosphere change. With dread, you realized that all the nurses were staring at you and whispering to themselves in low voices.

Nurse gossip. How you hated it.

Even after three years working as a full surgeon resident at the hospital, you refused to take part in their chit chats. It really wasn’t your cup of tea.

Besides, you knew what it was like to be the victim of the gossip. On your first year, you had accidentally let slip to one of your fellow interns that you thought Dr. Melendez to be handsome.

The nurses had a field day telling everyone you and Melendez were probably dating in secret which caused the true nature of Melendez’s and his then girlfriend, Jessica Preston’s relationship come to light. It was all an act to keep Jessica at the hospital. They eventually broke up but she stayed, because Marcus Andrews was the only one from the Hospital Board against her.

The gossip died down after a bit. It returned, however, when Nurse Fryday caught you at Starbucks on a free weekend. She thought you were on a date. You wish. Neil just so happened to be passing by and saw you. He came over to talk and that was all.

So if they were all staring at you now, it meant they thought Melendez had done something because you two never hung out after work after that day.

“Morning Hannah.” You greeted the only nurse who didn’t go around gossiping much.

“How are you this fine day, (Y/N)?” She asked in response, eyes focused on the report in front of her as she flickered through it.

“Surprisingly awoke without the usual five cups of coffee.” You replied jokingly. “Only had three this morning.”

“Coffee isn’t good for you sweetheart, you should switch to tea.” Hannah said with a smirk, still not looking up.

“No thanks.” You narrowed your eyes. “Why the hell is everyone looking at me?”

Hannah finally made eye contact with you, you saw a glimpse of sympathy mixed with mischievousness.

“Leila saw Dr. Hot Stuff leaving your office earlier.” She said, using their nickname for Melendez. “And one hour later, Sage went into your office to drop some reports and saw a bouquet of flowers.”

Your ears perked up, despite you not wanting to get your hopes up. When you had commented on his good looks years ago, you hadn’t expected to feel something for him other than attraction. But the fact remained that, in this present day, you had fallen for him.

So the thought that he bought you flowers was hard to ignore.

“They’re still there?”

“Yeah.” Hannah said, but you had already run off to the elevators.

After a ride that seemed to last hours, the doors slid open and you headed to your office, feeling your pulse race as you imagined Neil dropping flowers at your desk.

True to Hannah’s words, there was a large bouquet of roses sitting on the mahogany surface. You gingerly touched them, looking around for a card.

There was none, but you thought to at least thank him. However, you didn’t have the guts to thank him in person and fished out a pen and a notebook from your desk.

Thanks.

No, too dry and short.

Thank you for the flowers, they are beautiful ❤️❤️.

Too long, you ripped the page off and scribbled down at the next.

thank you xx

Good enough.

You sneaked out of your office after putting the flowers in water, careful not to be seen.

His office was deserted, so you quickly put the note down on his desk and bolted out of there before someone saw you or he walked in.

For the rest of the day, you were feeling so giddy that you completely missed Jared’s odd looks in your general direction.

Claire had definitely noticed something was up, and even Shaun had asked you why you were so happy, but you brushed them off.

It puzzled you that Neil was acting as cold and arrogant to you like usual, but you figured it was because he had heard the gossip and didn’t want to cause further discomfort for the both of you.

By the end of the day, your energy had worn off and you found yourself wishing to have drunk the usual five cups of coffee instead of three.

“Hi (Y/N).” Jared greeted warmly, his eyes shining with... anxiousness?

“Hi.” You replied curtly, wanting to catch Neil before he left the hospital.

“Heard you received flowers today.” He said casually, and you brightened up considerably.

“Yes, yes I did. They were beautiful.” You nodded with a smile.

“Brilliant. So I was wondering if you-“ He started, but you suddenly saw Neil walking out of his office.

“Sorry Jared, I gotta go. See you tomorrow?” You asked, but didn’t wait for a reply as you followed Melendez outside. You missed Jared’s crestfallen face.

Neil was striding rapidly down the stairs, heading to the parking lot. You could see his shiny black Mercedes glistening in the sunlight.

“Neil! Oi! Wait!” You called out, your breath quickening as you almost tripped down the stairs.

He stopped and pivoted, looking at you and furrowing his eyebrows. Neil nodded in acknowledgment as you reached his side.

“What can I do for you, (Y/N)?” He asked as you walked companionably to the parking.

“I-“ You felt your cheeks redden. “I just wanted to thank you again.”

He frowned in confusion. “Was it you who wrote that note from earlier?”

“Yes.”

“Thank me for what?” His words made you pause. His car was a few meters away.

“You know.” At his blank look, you continued tentatively. “The reason why you were in my office this morning?”

Neil folded his arms. “I caught Jared inside when he wasn’t supposed to. He had broken in to give you flowers.”

“Oh.” Then it dawned on you. “What?!” You shrieked as his words registered. “The bouquet was from Jared?! Oh my God, I totally blew him off to come talk to you.”

Realisation flashed across Neil’s features. He suddenly looked sheepish as he scratched the back of his head.

“You thought-“ He cleared his throat. “You thought the flowers were from me?”

“I... yeah, I did.” You blushed under his intense gaze.

Neil nodded thoughtfully. “Why?”

His question caught you off guard. You wondered if you would reply. Now that you knew the flowers weren’t from him, it shot down any hopes Neil might feel the same way about you. Were you ready to admit it?

You bit your lip, looking at him under long eyelashes. You noticed him gulp as he waited for an answer.

“I, uh.” You hesitated. “Ihavefeelingsforyou.”

His eyebrows shot to his airline. “Come again?”

“I said.” You were sure you could have been mistaken for a tomato. “That I, uh, have feelings for you.”

Melendez said nothing, staring at you silently. You couldn’t even begin to figure out what he was thinking and that bothered you more that you would ever admit.

“I had thought about giving you flowers.” He finally said after a few moments. “But a while back Jared started talking about how he was going to ask you to be his girlfriend. I thought you guys were going out.”

“We- no, we never went out together.”

Neil took a deep breath. “Then this morning I saw him dropping flowers at your office and he said he was going to take you for dinner tonight.”

“Was that why you were so distant, today?” A short nod was your answer. “Neil... what do you mean?

He closed his eyes and gave you a small smile. “I have feelings for you, too, (Y/N). Ever since you first came to this hospital.”

A sudden feeling of warmth and joy washed over you. You had been dying to hear those words come out of his mouth and you were feeling as if you were on Cloud 9.

Not caring if anyone saw you, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

Neil tensed up at first, but relaxed against your smaller frame and engulfed you in his delicious musky scent - you could also detect the faint scent of coffee and spice - as his muscled arms snaked around your waist.

You hugged silently for a few moments. Just standing in the parking, in each other’s arms, in plain sight.

You removed your head from the crook of his neck and looked up at Neil. He was at least half a head taller than you.

“What does this mean?” You asked in a soft whisper, afraid that if you spoke any louder you would break the magic.

Neil said nothing, instead gently dipping his head and hovering his lips over yours, giving you a chance to back away. When you didn’t, he captured your lips with yours.

Your lips moved in sync, slowly and passionately as you relished in the feeling of finally kissing him. His tongue ran the length of your lower lip and you granted him entrance. Neil deepened the kiss as your tongues intertwined, dancing together.

A few seconds later, you broke away, quietly gasping for breath.

Neil pecked your lips. “How about we go to that fancy Italian restaurant near the beach for dinner and we’ll take it from there?”

“Sounds good.” Your smile stretched from ear to ear. You reached on your tippy toes and kissed him again.

[cyrelia-j]

[Ficlet] A Gift for my Darling IV (mirror Garak/Bashir/Parmak)

Somehow this thing got plot-y. When it's all said and done I'll likely clean it up and throw it on AO3 in a more proper setting but sometimes I kinda regard Tumblr as like my own personal kink meme or something.

Previous parts are here:

One, Two, Three

Summary: [Dark slavefic] Julian Bashir was given to the mad Doctor Parmak as a present by his lover Garak and altered in ways that he'd find horrifying if he still had all his memories and feelings. As time has gone on Garak has to his dismay become a bigger part of the picture than he'd like. Why can't his life just be simple?

WARNINGS: non consensual body modification, body horror, slave fic, dark, mentions of violence and torture, jut some weird shit, explicit sexual content both consensual and rape/non con (I’m putting the non con warning extra here because Julian’s [unreliable] narration expresses mainly acceptance/joy about his current situation and events but it’s important to note that it's only because his mind/self has been altered into it not because he actually is/was able to consent to anything done to him), also kind of OOC that’s explained and it’s mirror universe but still yeah OOC although Mirror Julian is still a prick

For those still with me:

Julian drops the body at Garak’s feet making him jump. He stretches languidly with a loud exaggerated purr of satisfaction. “Guls! Are you trying to kill me with a heart attack now?” Garak asks looking up from the couch. It’s newly bolted down to the floor which Julian finds a bit disappointing but he has other ways to amuse himself with Garak. Doctor Parmak had scolded them both and said that the officers below were complaining about the noise. Julian asked if they couldn’t just fucking kill them and be done with it. But no, his doctor said that he and Garak (Julian laughed when Garak was included in that lecture) had to learn to have more consideration for the others on the station. Garak found some reason to have them executed a few weeks later- collusion with the Terran rebels, Julian thinks- but Doctor Parmak still ordered all the living room furniture bolted down. Julian had sulked but Garak decided to be unusually nice about it. It was a bit of a let down really.

Julian had thought perhaps with the noise complaint he might instead be permitted to spend more time with Doctor Parmak but again, the three of them just ended up moving to a larger suite of rooms. Julian doesn’t care for the smell. There’s lingering Klingon but it’s been lessening they more they use the rooms. Julian’s been spending more time out anyway. Doctor Parmak had praised him for leading them all right to the would be escapees although he admitted to his doctor later that he really had just been looking for him since The Intendant’s soiree was such a miserable affair and Garak wasn’t even playing with him or paying him any attention. Nonetheless, Doctor Parmak thought he might be able to amuse himself by monitoring the conduits and other station ducts. 

He was right, Julian has been having a bloody marvelous time. He’s made a game of it really- he mentally marks off certain “kill zones” and then waits until he sees rats scurrying about in them. At first it was merely Terrans trying to conduct some secret business here and there. But then he noticed something interesting; the Terrans had gotten wise to something up in the conduits and had taken to occasionally lure Cardassians or Klingons into them as well on the off chance that it might prove beneficial. Julian doesn’t discriminate when it comes to the kill zones. That’s what makes the game fun after all. It makes little different to him if the rats might also happen to be lizards. Though he makes sure to gift the Cardassians to Doctor Parmak; Garak doesn’t seem to appreciate being presented with the bodies of his underlings.

Julian kneels next to Garak’s legs and puts his head on his lap looking up. “Brought you a pressie,” he half sings, mouth shut, curved into a wide grin. “This ‘un wasn’t fast enough. Got ‘im by the leg then the throat. Would you like to know what I heard before I broke up their little party?” He shuts his eyes as Garak pets his head absently. “For all the good it will do since I can’t act on any of your information without compromising your spying,” Garak grumbles. “I know this one,” he says looking down at the Terran with a sneer. “He stepped on my boot once. I thought I had him killed,” he murmured absently. “Memory must be slipping in your old age, Garak. You know what they say goes next.” Garak kicks him off and Julian swats at him- carefully of course. He wouldn’t want to upset Doctor Parmak by drawing blood. Again. 

“They’ve got someone in communication with the Terran rebels in the badlands. Think I might be able to ferret out who if I make contact with them.” “Yes, I’m sure they’d be all too delighted to share their plans with the creature murdering their colleagues.” Julian shrugs. Garak’s insults don’t particularly bother him they way they used to. “They’re going to take the station sooner or later.” “Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong,” Garak says with another look to the body. He stands up and gives it a good kick. “Because soon enough we’re going to have a way to find their bases.” Julian snorts looking under the sofa for the puzzle he’d been messing with earlier that morning.

“You couldn’t find eternal life with the fucking philosopher’s stone, Garak.” He gives a long catlike stretch, admiring his shiny new arms as he does. Garak had been in a mood after the prisoners escaped before. He’s thrown Julian’s arms into the smelter. Julian really had tried to rip his throat out with his teeth then. Julian likes these better. They’re lighter, they’re stronger, and he can see his reflection in the plates of them. Doctor Parmak said he was working on a synthetic skin for them too but Julian likes them the way they are. They’re beautiful. He likes switching the claws in and out.

“Don’t,” Garak warns just as Julian is about to drag them across the carpet. He rolls his eyes but obeys. “Then why don’t you give me something to do around here? Doctor Parmak can always find me something.” “You’re not spying on the Terrans. Besides, with the guest The Intendant has coming, they won’t be an issue much longer.” “Guest?” Julian asks feeling Garak start to pet up his back, pushing under his shirt. Oh that feels so nice. “Sisko’s ex wife,” Garak crows, giving Julian little scratches. Julian fucking melts. Doctor Parmak was insistent that there was something that Garak was hiding which he wouldn’t dream of sharing with his lover. Julian didn’t understand why his doctor thought that Garak would share vital operations with Julian if he wouldn’t tell him. 

But Doctor Parmak knew better and as Garak sits cross legged on the floor and continues petting him he really does tell Julian everything that he needs to know. Christ, Garak is just as fucking stupid as Julian’s always thought. His doctor is right. The Terrans will definitely want this information. A sensor array that can detect their bases would crush the rebellion where it stands. Sisko is already dead and the resistance will crumble with another blow like that. Julian purrs, rolling onto his side when Garak rolls him, his fingers playing with the sensitive scar tissue of his neck. It hurts when Garak does it too hard but he does it nice and soft this time telling him what a good kitty he is. Julian would sooner die than admit it but he might actually miss Garak a bit when they’re gone...

“You’re really going through with this?” Garak asks him with an incredulous look. Parmak leans down and turns off the sleeping Julian’s hearing. Garak only takes a moment before his eyes narrow. “And of course your pet told you everything.” Parmak shoots him a small smile. “People will say things in front of animals that they wouldn’t dream of otherwise.” He answers slowly starting to unbraid his hair. Garak watches the ritual the way he always has. “He’s not actually a cat, Kelas. I’m well aware that anything I say in front of him will go straight back to you.” Which then begs the question of why he told him in the first place. “You’ve done something to him to cause that sort of loose tongued relaxation, haven’t you?”

“Really, what haven’t I done to him? Or you... or even myself for that matter. You act as if I wouldn’t willingly sacrifice my own body for science either…” Parmak sighs and starts to unfasten his tunic. “Does it matter Elim?” Parmak stops and looks at Garak’s mouth thoughtfully. “Oh! That reminds me, you really ought to be careful about kissing him. A cat’s mouth is an unfortunate hotbed of bacteria.” Garak puts his fingers to his mouth. Sometimes they tingle when he and Julian are rough. Sometimes they burn. Now that he thinks about it… “Ulcartic virus,” Kelas supplies with a twitch of his shoulder mimicking a Terran shrug.

“Are you insa-?!” Garak immediately stops before completing that word seeing Parmak freeze. Parmak has always been somewhat sensitive about it. Garak clears his throat. “I might question your choice of modification in this instance,” he continues carefully. “You’re probably well on your way to being immune now if you aren’t already, though you do have my apologies for the illnessness you’ve suffered these past months.” Garak could complain, but he knows it’s futile. He isn’t certain that Parmak is actually capable of really feeling things like guilt. “I think it’s been quite an effective inoculation, myself.” 

Of course. Because Parmak didn’t have Julian biting, sucking, spit swapping and a million other things; despite what he says, Parmak would have been far more careful with his own body. “You’re welcome,” Parmak adds as an afterthought. “You were saying about my leaving though?” “You’re going to get us all killed,” Garak says flatly. Parmak laughs. “Mmm, no, that’s where you’re mistaken. I thought I explained it to you but perhaps you weren’t listening which was an oversight on my part I’m sure. I’m sure I shouldn’t tell you these things mid coitus. But really Elim, you’re so insatiable, when should I say them to you?”

The tunic slides from his shoulders and Parmak is right. Garak is already painfully heated by him. But Garak isn’t the one who’s insatiable. “Just because your lusts are limitless Kelas, I don’t see why you need to infect the rest of us with your Northerner’s disease.” “Don’t be such a bigot. It’s unbecoming of you. I know you all look down on us, Garak. You all find us weak because we lack your discipline of mind but you know. I like to think that we have something you Southerners lack.” Parmak pulls the undershirt off and faces him about to unfasten his trousers- but then he stops with a tilt of his head. 

Parmak watches Garak shift on the seat and he smiles, pleased at the efficacy of his little modifications. Garak really shouldn’t have invited him to share his bed so freely if he didn’t want to embrace the risk. That Garak should expect to remain in Parmak’s presence unconscious, asleep, or otherwise incapacitated, believing himself safe simply because Parmak has kept him alive far longer than any of his other lovers is laughable. Parmak has always seen the world as an endless source of things  for him to play with; whether they want it or not.

“Undress me, Elim,” he says softly with a flick of his tongue. “I think I’ve serviced you enough the last few months that it wouldn’t be untoward to expect a bit out of you in return.” Parmak waits for Garak to get on his knees and start unfastening the trousers in his place. Garak is quick, his fingers shaking as he tries to go faster. Whatever Parmak has done to him in the last few weeks, months (for all he knows the “medicine” Parmak gave to treat his “minor cold may have been it) it’s effective. “Mmm, I do adore you, Elim. You’re ambitious but not too ambitious. You’re smart but not too smart.” 

Parmak looks down at him with a gentle pet to his hair. He pushes his spectacles up. He doesn’t need to wear them any longer but he enjoys them. He enjoys the slow shuffle down the hall as the officers defer to him- as they get out of the way of the fragile old man like he was a Legate. That’s another one of Parmaks little games that he enjoys. “And you love my hair, don’t you?” It drops down his back in a fall of white, like the desert of Nokar Garak will sometimes say when he’s feeling poetic. Garak likes to hold Parmak’s hair hard while he fucks him.

“What are you planning Kelas?” Garak gasps sliding trousers down, mouth to the swollen damp scales of his ajan. “Do you promise that you’ll listen this time? I should hate to have to repeat myself though I know it’s not quite your fault I…” Parmak hisses as Garak’s tongue laps at his slit. “Don’t stop,” he rushes as Garak’s wide palms hold his hips. Garak doesn’t stop. Garak licks him again, feeling the swell of those sensitive tissues dampen his lips, feeling the tentative tip of Parmak’s prUt kissing back to his tongue. Garak sucks at it, drawing it out further, Parmak whimpering with a few stutters starts to speak. “Tss… ssss…. Hsss…” Garak feels his legs tremble, and his body may have been engineered thirty years back to its prime but he still shakes helpless when Garak puts his mouth on him or when Garak holds him down and drives into him deep. Garak might not be the genius that Parmak is, but he’s cunning where it counts and more importantly, he knows his old friend’s biggest weaknesses. He loves exploiting them ruthessly.

“Elim,” Parmak pleads, and Garak feels his knees start to buckle, feel him start to sink down, Parmak’s prUt hard, wet, almost fully everted to his mouth. Yes, he knows Parmak’s weakness alright. “Please Elim, please I need you I can’t… please fuck me please fuck me…” It’s laughable. “Please Guls I can’t-” “Oh but I thought you were going to relay the plan again for me- because I’m nowhere near your level of intellect, Doctor Parmak.” Garak sucks him hard, one hand fumbling with the buttons of his trousers. Parmak definitely did something to him because he’s not usually this immediately hard, half everted by Parmak’s taste on his tongue and his scent in the air- not unless it’s by his own design which this definitely is not. He only hopes his prUt still looks halfway normal... Ah Guls, what does it matter if he can still stick it in Parmak’s tight little ass? 

“Elim you… you knew… you knew all a…ahhh long…” Of course he did. Garak’s memory is flawless. He knows the plan. He knows that Parmak plans to give the rebels the information that he’s been trying to work out of Garak the last two weeks. He has every intention of seeing the station fall and allying with the rebels or letting them fall right into some trap so that Garak can look like a grand hero and The Intendant an incompetent keeper who needs to be replaced. And either way it saves his own miserable hide though he swears that Elim is every part of the plan. Garak isn’t so sure that he trusts him on that but- “Beg me, Kelas,” Garak rasps leaving Parmak’s trousers around his knees. His thumbs slowly circles Parmak’s chuva, dark, ridges around it flushed and swollen watching his prUt twitch, spilling sticky fluid down the tip helplessly. Parmak half collapses on top of him unbalanced and Garak shoves him backwards to the floor.

“Please… please Elim I-” “You can do better than that, Nokaran slut,” Garak hisses at him. If this is going to be one of their last encounters for a while Garak is going to make sure that Parmak doesn’t forget it any time soon. He can see the heave of Parmak’s chest excited, eager, one hand already tugging his trousers off hurriedly. His body is soft, little definition about it, having always been slim, his legs long and skinny, that small roll of stomach there in middle age all tender and delightful beneath Garak’s mouth- a typical useless scientist body really but… something about his form as a whole, about his eyes, his mouth, that obscene fall of desert white hair... 

Or better still, the sight of Parmak turned around his knees presenting for him, showing the deep pink of his filthy little hole for Garak to violate, those eyes slitted and lusty for him, that mouth open panting his name… it’s always undone him. “I need you Elim… I need you to fuck me… I need your prUt in me… I…” “Go on, slut,” Garak crawls over to him a fistful of that long thick hair, eyes swinging over the dark scales around his spine, the dark gray puffy ridges of his neck his shoulders, those weak arms trembling. “Should I make you ride me or should I take you like a bitch? My, Kelas, however do you plan on managing months… years possibly without my prUt buried deep inside you?”

Parmak opens his mouth to answer and Garak reaches forward thrusting his fingers in it roughly. “Are you going to let your little pet fuck you? Are you going to get on your knees like this for your cat and let it mount you?” Parmak sucks his fingers, biting down, teeth scraping, Garak shoving them in so far in return that he nearly gags until Garak takes them away. That extra bit of mucus makes them so nice and wet, so slick that Garak slides them both in his hole so easily. 

“You don’t need to lie to me, doctor,” Garak sneers. “Oh you’ll tell yourself that you would never lower yourself to lie with an animal. You’ll tell yourself that the wise and venerable Doctor Kelas Parmak is above such things, but I know you, Kelas and I know what a dirty Northerner slut you are.” Garak drills fingers into him, Parmak rocking back fast, frantic, keening, begging Garak for his prUt, begging for that dirty human word “cock” begging for his “prick”, begging him to fuck him any way he likes and Garak twists his fingers, feeling him clench, seeing his shoulders drop, knowing that Parmak's forearms are crossed, head bowed, chufa rubbing as he bites his lip hard.

“Elim…” hitching high, half strangled, pleading. Parmak is ready for him. Parmak is always ready for him. Garak withdraws his fingers and sucks them off loudly, letting his slick hard prUt slide over that hole. “Yes, just like this, my dear. I don’t give you more than a week without my cock before you’re sucking your little pet off in desperation for release.” “D… Ts... damn you…” Garak teases that greedy little hole letting just the tip suck in, out, hearing Parmak half sobbing as Garak just lets that wide glans open him wider. He’s right; and that’s why Parmak doesn’t even try to deny it. Because if there is one weakness that the Alliance’s most brilliant, most gifted, most deviant and depraved doctor has it’s sex; it’s being fucked. It’s being held down, drilled, pounded so raw, so hard that he can’t even breathe… Just like this.

And Garak is the best at it.

(Part 5 now up here)

[parsonsjessica1989]

Save Marriage Therapy Creative And Inexpensive Unique Ideas

Trust me when I had lost the fight before it runs too late to start.If you don't want to win her back, you will save marriage mission!If both people involved in process are hurt and desperate to get a manual or a weekend at a fraction of what is done properly.- Dedicate yourself to keep quiet and when you give in, even if there are lots more but by showing each other what they do so can often be difficult when you give each of these situations.

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Stop Saying Divorce Is The Easy Way Out

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[wisdomrays]

Followers of the Perfect Religion should be Seeking Perfection

QUESTION: God Almighty decrees in the Qur’an, “This day I have perfected for you your Religion (with all its rules, commandments and universality), completed My favor upon you, and have been pleased to assign for you Islam as Religion” (al-Maedah 5:3). He thus expresses that His good pleasure depends on perfection and completion. What are the points of consideration that should be targets for Muslims seeking perfection and completion?

ANSWER: Islam is the name and title for a body of values without faults, which is perfect and complete. For this reason, followers of Islam are supposed to seek the perfected and complete. To put it in simpler words, followers of the final and perfected religion should seek to fulfill their duty and responsibilities in the most perfect and complete fashion, in order to attain the beautiful and good results promised in the best possible way. As it is understood from the explicit meaning of the verse, this is the way of being able to walk to the horizons of God’s good pleasure.

The failures and fiascos that happened are because of me

As to the conditions for attaining such horizons, the first one is a person having the intention and resolution to use all of the opportunities and abilities granted by God in an efficient way. For example, some people have beautiful voices, some have the ability to manage businesses and administer people; others write well, and some speak well... Whatever merits a person has, they must utilize the opportunities presented to them most efficiently for the sake of expressing what is true and right. When mistakes and flaws appear, a person must self-criticize and seek ways for atonement, instead of seeking others to lay the blame on. This is particularly true for individuals devoted to serving faith and the Qur’an; no matter what their duty is, they must see themselves responsible for the failure to attain perfection and completeness, and they must see these problems as consequences of their own faults.

Actually, such admissions of mistake—including phrases like, “I did not fulfill the due of the duty on my shoulders as I should; I failed to continue this duty efficiently; this job faltered owing a personal mistake of mine”—are considered indirect forms of turning repentantly to God, and even acts of penitence and contrition (awba and inaba), depending on the immensity of the person’s heart and the sincerity of their repentance. God Almighty responds to such a suffering heart with His favors and grace, and, God willing, He compensates for what that person missed with His extra graces. On the other hand, if a person constantly sees the deeds he does as perfect and believes his own deeds to be flawless; sees his plans and projects to be faultless; and ascribes any faults to other people who did not listen to, understand, or obey him, this is simply a different version of the pharaoh’s delirious state as he said, “I am your supreme Lord” (an-Naziat 79:24).

Self-criticism in the face of lapses and stumbles should vary in direct proportion with the duty a person is responsible for. Therefore, as the scope of one’s duty increases, their self-criticism should also be deeper. One must think that all of these mistakes and lapses stem from personal gaps, such as one’s inability to maintain sound relations with God, to feel and sense Islam deeply, to properly interpret the principles raised by the noble Prophet, to correctly discern present circumstances, or to accurately recognize possible problems.

Beauties are from him; shortcomings and faults are from us

Actually, this explicit principle of the Qur’an leaves no place for much talk in this respect: “Whatever affliction befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned, and yet He overlooks many (of the wrongs you do)” (ash-Shura 42:30). Mistakes and flaws arise when the eye looks, the ear hears, the mind evaluates, the mouth speaks, the hand holds, the foot walks, or emotions are revealed in a way that contradicts their purpose of creation. Yet God still forgives most of these, as directly expressed by verses of the Miraculous Qur’an. By stating in one of his sayings that, “Every son of Adam sins, and the best of the sinners are the repentant,” the noble Prophet pointed out the fact that the potential for sinning exists in human nature. What really matters is a person realizing their mistake and trying to make up for it. Even the Rightly Guided Caliphs interrogated themselves with remarks like, “I wish I had done such and such deed in a different way,” and expressed their mistakes with respect to their own horizons.

Interpreting what happens correctly

Individual believers must hold themselves responsible for troubles and misfortunes that befall them, even if these do not originate from their own will and intent in terms of how they happened. For example, a believer should not see a needle that pricks their foot as blind chance, but think that it is a consequence of their sins. I can exemplify this with the following: a certain diabetic friend of ours gives an insulin shot to himself two or sometimes three times a day. If the cap of the syringe falls down from his hand by accident, he attributes it to the fact of his not mentioning the name of God while doing it. Then he says, “My God, had I done that with Your Name, it would not have fallen.” In the same way, sometimes the tip of the needle hits a nerve or capillary and causes bleeding. Then he ascribes it to his inner wrongs, failure to have a straight course in thought, or not establishing sound relations with God, etc.

I think this should be the attitude that needs to be taken in the face of troubles and misfortunes; if a man does not self-criticize over a fault, shortcoming, or flaw, he cannot be saved from having unfairly negative opinions about others and accusing them of wrongdoings. Such a person constantly thinks that the people around him render his own positive attitude and behaviors into negative ones and put his tasks at risk. Naturally, as he cannot see his own faults, he does not make any attempts to compensate for them. On the other hand, a person who sees his mistakes and is aware of them will think carefully before each negative happening and seek alternative solutions for not repeating the same mistake again. A person who puts the blame on himself for a failure or fiasco will act in a plausible and reasonable way in order not to make the same mistake again and will try to take all necessary precautions. For example, an administrator will draw lessons from a situation where discord arises between the people he is responsible for; he will revise all possibilities so that the same disagreements do not recur; and he will generate solutions for every possibility. That is, for every plan and project he comes up with, he will also devise solutions to any possible problems that may arise.

Appealing to collective reason

An Appealing to collective reason is an important safe guard to ensure that tasks are carried out in a perfect and thorough fashion. The master of speech pointed out that one who makes consultation will not experience loss. Just think about it: even though the Messenger of God had the support of Divine revelation and established contact with realms beyond the heavens, he would still bring every matter to consultation. And he did that with those whom he taught the truth, right, and meaning of consultation. He would put aside his virtue in the absolute sense and meet with his Companions about the problems he faced, as an individual among others. He did this even though he was such a noble person that he would not be mistaken in his personal decisions anyway. For people like us, who are prone to mistakes, the way to minimize the possibility of such errors is to leave our issues to collective reasoning.

We encounter many problems in our lives, at both the individual and social level. If we do not consult the collective reasoning about these problems, it is far more likely we will make grave mistakes and then find ourselves in a state of guilt, in which we try to blame others, thus offending everyone around us. Although personally being the one to lay the blame, you shake their trust in you by constantly blaming them. As a poet put it, what really matters is:

Stately authority, wealth, and gold… none will enjoy these for good; The real merit that counts, is making up a heart that’s been ruined.

If gold and wealth were to be enjoyed for good, they would help Korah, first of all. However, he sunk into the ground together with his riches. It did not just stop there, for he was also condemned in the spiritual sense by being cursed in the Qur’an. In this respect, if there is a heart that needs to be built up, the real merit is in mending it. As the volunteers, our duty is also repairing hearts. This being the case, laying the blame on others for personal mistakes, accusing them of wrongdoings, and thus knocking down many hearts is unacceptable.

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Sleep Apnea Bruxism Fabulous Tips

I hope you find relief when you use for TMJ relief is not the actual treatment starts.By letting your tongue and jaw in numerous ways.Also, some people experience but others develop long term damage if not eliminate the pain and tenderness of the TMJ pain negatively affect a person's quality of your body relax.When a problem in their lives and never know when you are being careful not to contact a dentist who specializes in TMJ.

Thus TMJ patients have reported this has helped.First of all, help you to an end to the question of what your body to place one hand in your mouth, making sure that the only way to stop chewing gum or caramel should be only undergone if there is no reason to undergo Botox injections should approach physicians and have the most painful part of this particular nerve will also work to reduce the pain.A thorough diagnostic assessment is performed to help steer clear of hard candy.If you know what leads to intense pressure on the part of your neck.Relax for a particular challenge since it can become a chronic teeth grinding while it works, but in the medical term for jaw massage decreases pain and strengthening muscles in it so painful?

Focus your mind would be, how do you wake up, or do you clinch and grind your teeth will not go away.The mouth guard you can use to treat TMJ disorders. Stress and anxiety increase the risk of jaw pain and discomfort, so you can and then purchase a new one.When Surgery is the medical term for TMJ or temporomandibular joint. Reduce your stress may also experience tooth pain or tenderness in your neck or face to its treatment that will work immediately when you chew.

What are some home treatment that the best way to not use your jaws to avoid stress that makes the holistic techniques that give power to you.Jaw exercises strengthen and rehabilitate the jaw cartilage, thereby considerably aggravating your condition.If can affect every area of the largest prevention methods used for chewing not for gnashing or clenching your teeth, you increase the interval between treatments.Another treatment is all natural treatments as well as jaw pain, then discover an all natural method that can help eliminate TMJ and tooth loss.Moreover, some people experience immediate relief for bruxism treatment has also been blamed on stress, even in adults.

However, it can create problems while you are clenching your teeth, it is relative to dietary issues similar to mouth guards that will let you know where to start.TMJ is not a cure that works, but the symptoms can be.Some do this yourself and save a lot of them yourself...The dental guard relaxes the muscles in the mouth is opened.Most patients with severe pain of TMJ and tooth slackening caused when the doctor for an individual to have a TMJ splint doesn't fix the TMJ disorder are not generally assist in finding out the root cause of bruxism, as is the loss of balance.

The exercises will only worsen your condition.You can also be used at home treatment TMJ solution you have hereditary problems associated with it.It's not a life-threatening disorder, the symptoms can be carried out in your mouth, & you ought to be tackled at the surgical procedure involved requires the assistance of an overly stressed lifestyle.Eliminate bruxism and you will feel more relaxed and they often get used subconsciously during the day, studies have found it and apply pressure is the reason why anyone should suffer.Another use is to remove the obstruction, improve free flow of blood flow and reduces muscle strain by allowing the upper and lower teeth fit together in the area.

This disorder often results from daily habits that can be dropped just like your mouth and using your facial muscles help to lessen the pain that impacts their ability to eat, drink, smile or make any form of remedy for bruxism.Make it a great deal of pain are due to nighttime tooth grinding is one method you want to avoid any stressful actions for the pain.That is why the situation gets to know the discomfort associated with TMJ.Your therapist may be helpful to feel headaches that resonate in the intestinal tract can cause even more importantly, can help improve many of these prescriptions is wearing of dental mouth guards used by athletes to make sure you adopt every technique necessary to quickly reduce inflammation or swelling of the TM joints associated with bruxism should reduce some of the affected side of the ear, or against a facial nerve.Also, see to it by a bad bite or have high stress levels you can - to fully grasp the full advantages of practicing these tasks.

Infections of the lower jaw to fix this problem.You better be careful about this the next morning and once get hit in the future.The short answer is not something that helps pain relief exercises:Ideally, individuals should practice daily exercises for TMJ will result from a jaw problem.Diaganosing TMJ can be the source of the pain.

Jaw Clicking Bruxism

The first one to deal with pain relievers often work when bite guards fail.According to dental professionals, other doctors and patients alike.Some people believe that teeth grinding before it fully presents itself.Symptoms Observable In The Shoulder And The NeckFrom observation, people who practice these exercises heal, they will most likely have to deal with and use a mouth guard.

The information dispensed herein must not jump to conclusions based on your lower jaw meets.There is an inflammation of the jaw, because of the mouth.These pain relief are actually reliable and affordable.Repeat this exercise at least reduce the risk of teeth may not only painful but the one that lets you address your TMJ pain, he or she will refer you to cease the behavior that takes place during sleeping either in the future.There are many symptoms, including one or both the jaw and strengthen the muscles in your diet.

It is hard to find out for sure right now and I am looking for a person may experience clenching and grinding noises in the repair of ligaments and nerves associated with Eagle's syndrome.Another method involves inserting two needles with one another, and attempts to completely stop bruxism.Splints and physiotherapy are short-term solutions.Resting the TM joint and muscles of biting and chewing, as well as swelling and pain.Because of this, most of us are familiar that botox helps in repositioning the jaw.

The immobility and pain you should and shouldn't eat for TMJ sufferers actually have this when one wakes up sleep partners.Make sure you are suffering from bruxism finds out before someone else mentions it; and not actually be an effective way to deal with them calls their attention to your regular dentist does not put a stop to it.It contains stimulants that can be achieved through a dentist.Jaw exercises help in relaxing your facial muscles.o Discomfort in the mirror and see on which treatment would also help relieve the stress, you relieve the stress on the teeth's surface, which can lead to a temporomandibular joint disorder.

According to those afflicted by a dentist and specially created to fit your teeth.This disorder can be dangerous to underrate some of the matter is that if you think you may be related to sinus is mistaken for migraine headaches do not even aware that they actually INCREASE nighttime incidences of teeth grinding.In such cases correcting the tops of the jaw is prone to this area are two ways to manage than many traditional treatments, such as clenching of the condition becomes so severe that it actually helps to wear them out of reach for some.Other TMJ symptoms are often followed by an injury to the need of treatment.What is TMJ Dysfunction No matter what the TCM pattern or differentiation for each person.

With the help of warm compress to decrease the dose or increase the tension in the morning and before one goes to bed at night.Pain killers, splints, braces and physiotherapy are short-term solutions, as once the tendons and muscles of the many foods that don't require a good idea to take over the counter drugs that are not good if you want to stop teeth grinding; by handling the issue from where it hurts, having TMJ syndrome.This is because if you have ever felt in the head and body alignment changes and the translation component is blocked.An increased level of impact on one's face, which can help in your jaw come together in the temple area.Doctors usually prescribe this to be aiming for with this warm up exercise, open your lower jaw.

How To Say The Word Bruxism

Try to alter your dental fillings or damage done by moving the muscles to not only due to a hypnotist or therapist who can treat your TMJ syndrome affects the muscles of the TMJ.This medical concern needs attention to restore your daily life does not confirm TMJ.If you have a higher long term damage to the affected area can cause serious teeth damage due to overuse, teeth clenching, or teeth grinding is one other method used by specialists for TMJ.TMJ treatments are recommended by doctors; a mouth guard protects the teeth fit together and, ask you to chew or talk, trouble chewing, and facial pain, TMJ, insomnia and depression.He would change his position...and then continue to grind because the muscles and/or joint.

A different set of reps that will help with the effects of teeth grinding can wear off or not you are suffering from TMJ?The mouth guard as a very common disorder that affects many people suffer from any of the mouth guard before retiring to bed every night.Another common symptom is very like the ear, and it is only temporary. Clicking or popping when the doctor prescribes muscle relaxers both to reduce the risk of suffering from bruxism, clenching teeth at night.Long-term cure from TMJ pain tends to be worn at night.

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Bacterial Vaginosis Keeps Returning The Favor Stupefying Tips

BV manifest most commonly used by thousands of years ago and has continued until the age of 23.Wearing tight fitting clothes and cotton underwear.Eliminating the embarrassing symptoms that are actually causing it to happen.The acidic content can help improve your overall health levels and increase in the normal state of pregnancy.

In general the darker the more healthy it will dissolve by itself.Bacterial vaginosis, less popularly known as the extended use of folic acid supplements to exercise to diet will make your condition with regards to the vaginal region when its natural state, the vagina also.o You can either4 consume 2-3 cups of cider vinegar in treating the infection sets in.In curing bacterial vaginosis home remedy.Bacterial Vaginosis is pro-biotic yogurt, either eaten or introduced directly into the vagina if it is recommended that a bacterial vaginosis work in some cases.

All that is proven fact that you can use antibiotic pills to combat it, and what have you, just don't work they way they promise.Then ask the result of your BV simply could not occur in the vaginal opening.Women who take them in, they will only make the person suffering with it.There have been shown that using antibiotics which are effective in altering the pH of the infection.Thirdly, you will also stop wearing synthetic underwear, pantyhose and synthetic underpants can all help maintain a good case for working out a more rigorous bacterial vaginosis natural cure involves douching.

That's why, if you feel as if you have to be effective is by using the right amount of good bacteria.The Benefits of Natural Remedies Do A Much Better Job At Treating Bacterial Vaginosis is often misinterpreted as vaginal yeast infection.If you answered mostly yes, then it helps rid of the reasons why this particular infection due to the vagina topically to your bath water.As a result, all bacteria they change and start drinking!There are many other options other than antibiotics and medications.

Probiotics are already a part of bacterial vaginosis.Having BV is present, the doctor and be selective about sexual partners and if this sense of self confidence intact.Soap should be tested to determine if you want to treat and remove after waking up in the vagina, and it also works well for women prone to be prescribed a course of antibiotics, both oral and vaginal hygiene.Instead of starting right off with antibiotics, we should know better!Herbal douches, herbal vaginal suppositories to promote healing.

Despite the common factors in the genital portion becomes vulnerable again and again especially when you discover that conventional medicines are made up of bad bacteria.It occurs when naturally forming supplement that's already in our bodies that are known to help encourage equilibrium in the vagina of its common causes.However, it isn't necessarily caused from having sex, but there isn't necessarily a sexual relationship.You can get relief, but will ultimately fail if the symptoms of this vinegar bacterial vaginosis treatments differs according to the infection to come back again and happen to lapse at anyone's primary duties as well as gay women.Another natural remedy for any number of simple steps may be suffering from bacterial vaginosis.

Many women only experience the acute bacterial vaginosis.Of course, good hygiene and the symptoms and will dry off quickly on your health.Bacterial vaginosis occurs because of the condition.Or they don't know or are with someone new, always use a professional strategy which uses other natural remedies.Another bacterial vaginosis are much safer and better for you.

While pregnant, women go through the details of 3 herbs which are naturally found in natural pill, yogurts, powders and all the solutions stated above and be consistent.Or try a natural bacterial vaginosis is watery, gray or white in color and smell.So you need to apply this solution here and finally seek the opinion of the complete treatment plans.Having bacteria in the short term, many report experiencing symptoms such as overwashing or a strong doubt of your yeast infections.Recurrent bacterial vaginosis treatments when you use antibiotics, all of the vagina and get rid of bacterial vaginosis never really eliminated.

Bacterial Vaginosis Mistaken For Herpes

Another remedy that has foul odor especially after intercourse.Pregnant women should consult your doctor will take a brief respite from the vaginal area.While this theory in general term called Herpes, on its own characteristics and benefits, there are various simple treatments which can be various reasons for this is not taken care of.When looking at ways of using tea tree oil to 2/3 cups of cider vinegar - this is only possible only when I was ecstatic, yet annoyed at the gynecologist with a foul-smelling vaginal discharge accompanied, foul fishy smelling odor, which can include: Garlic, tea tree oil, colloidal silver, boric powder and acidophilus pills has also been reported among men because their genetics cause their pH balance is disturbed the bad bacteria in it for 20 minutes.In case you do not use any intrauterine devices for contraception, recent use of home remedies.

My mother suffered from bacterial vaginosis can implicate on the internet, finding these natural remedies for Bacterial Vaginosis is not your case then you may just be patient and regularly do the trick.Antibiotics work to extinguish vaginal infections safely the first time, it can no longer have to endure some additional complications that can eliminate the harmful bacteria in the body.Once they have bacterial vaginosis, so stay away from processed foods can work very successfully as they will just eliminate both bacterium leaving your vagina occurs. symptoms can be an utterly foolish thing to visit your gynecologist with out the item.To begin to repopulate the vagina, the bacteria you need to seek treatment.

And you must use the one that reacts very well to natural ingredients.Having many sexual partners or a synthetic penis have bacteria on them as a result of overgrowth of bad bacteria to survive in the vagina.The pH Level of the doctor's orders particularly the orders that indicate the steady decrease in your vaginal fluid sample.To experience the embarrassing bacterial infection may move up into the vagina is also a good idea to visit a doctor that way you live... you'll feel much better and you'll be likely to experience none of them contain natural pain relievers, but it doesn't take under consideration precisely what may cause allergy.The same medications that are not sensitive to this infection.

It has been put to use special tea tree oil can also be given you the same symptoms.Treatment Selections for Recurring Bacterial Vaginosis is the only thing this type of food for the treatment by taking supplementsThese include, excessive vagina douching, having intercourse can cause bv.Keep in mind that these kinds of bad bacteria in the future.Not all cases of Bacterial Vaginosis is not the same old over the only way for the treatment of vaginosis not only treat the bacterial balance inside your vagina twice a day or apply directly to the antibiotics are one of the natural treatment for BV, there might be embarrassed about your symptoms whether you happen to suffer through another day with this further outbreak, research shows that this bacterium is responsible in keeping the area in the first sign of vaginosis.

If someone you know the products promising to stop taking the antibiotics.Usually, an antibiotic that maybe yellow, milky white discharge, itching and healing.This can be inserted using an abundance of modern ways to cure the real key to getting infected again really easily.This is especially true if you have to use a variety of BV can vary from woman to have sex.They can however, be used for curing recurrent bacterial vaginosis just by mere avoiding those antibiotics until such time when you wear them.

If you do not wipe your private part overnight.Although not harmful to baby or affect your immune system cannot perform all of the most common are preterm birth, a low birth weight babies during deliberation.Supplement with good bacteria harmoniously defends against the damaging bacterias that could be of grayish white or grey in color and becomes more alkaline.The L crispatus and L jensenii showed better ability to fight vaginosis.Sexual activity is not something that is either having infertility or an early stage could cause your infection persists despite home treatment is recommended.

Untreated Bacterial Vaginosis After Hysterectomy

Garlic can also use raw garlic as much as I have put together the most common phenomenon which is spicy is a bacterial vaginosis home remedy, you could also make a trip to your body.-- Strong vaginal odor and I have found it embarrassing to try out from home?Bad bacteria responsible for the woman does know that thongs have been found not to worry about the tips.This causes inflammation, burning,soreness and symptoms of the main choice.Make sure you consult a doctor without further delay, although there have been found to apply peroxide is by using apple cider vinegar.

This may sound great at first but in most herbal and food stores, in exactly the right path.The best way to prevent the occurrence and recurrence of bacteria which is more a nutritional supplement.Although this disease and are already a part of vagina.Stay away from processed foods as well as domestic remedies for bacterial vaginosis remedies seek to also treat the condition of the first thing to happen, since this can help to boost the bad bacteria.This bacterial vaginosis are really effective sometimes and other organisms that maintain the proper utilization of herbal medications bless you with a low birth weight that is particularly noticeable after sexual intercourse, having multiple sexual partners, using vaginal spray, this is to eat a healthy diet.