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Traumi
#catastrofeanotherme#citazioni#frasi tumblr#pensieri#frasi belle#frasi vere#frasi#libri#citazione#parole#traumi#dare e ricevere#segui il mio blog#another me Facebook page#another me
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less than a month before the switch port releases i'm still so baffled by their decision to call it the apollo justice trilogy. like it's probably been said before that it's already bad enough they're calling it a trilogy. but it's especially not APOLLO's trilogy get the fuck outta here with that lie you keep trying to sell us on
#.docx#sorry it's time for me to be an insufferable hater#i just saw another one of their advertisements for it on their facebook page#and like. ik they're going through each of the cases and that's their marketing for it#but their trailer for rite of turnabout....#'where apollo and i don't appear at all!' <- said by athena. they're still calling this the apollo justice trilogy#i feel like every time i say apollo justice trilogy i have to censor it bc it just. feels so wrong to say#like i appreciate your mcu levels of self-awareness capcom marketing team#but come on. you could have just called it something else. at least make it look like you care abt the games a little bit
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man facebook is just an awful dogshit website now isn't it
#my diary#I go on there periodically#today I go on facebook and of the first 15 posts on my newsfeed#NINE of them were not from people or pages I follow but thrust upon me by some algorithm#including FIVE posts IN A ROW#you cannot shut this off#it is not tucked away nicely in another tab like here#they're not even ads! they're just shit from other pages I don't care about!#why is the algorithm feeding me clips from the tv show friends??? who knows!#anyway that's what's going on in the metaverse now#if it weren't the only virtual way to connect to my community I would have abandoned facebook years ago#but for now just having an account and posting 1-2 times a year is gonna have to be enough
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getting a migraine today of all days was so evil
#i wanna talk about me#i had a quick doc appt in the morning but after that i was home all day with no commitments#i had so much i wanted to get done re: packing and schoolwork#but my headache just wiped me tf out for most of the afternoon and evening#i ended up taking like a ninety minute nap cause i just felt so out of it#i did manage to finish my music history reading for tomorrow though i only had a couple of pages left#and i finished one reading for my library professions class. the longest one. but i didn't get to any of the others or the recorded lecture#like i wanted to#i did get my new internet set up. and made a big dinner with leftovers for the next couple of days#but. absolutely no new progress made on packing.#and no one on facebook marketplace is following up on the bedding i'm trying to get rid of 😫#i'm giving it away for free but the only three hits i've got never responded past the first message guys Please. Just Take It...#in hindsight it's probably the weather that did me in today. it's been rainy i think this is the straggling edge of a tropical storm or smt#i don't think pressure is exclusively the cause of my migraines but it does seem sometimes to coincide? idk...#i really ought to see a neurologist. but. sigh#not right now#i just better not get another one tomorrow or saturday or i'll turn into the joker fr. cannot be dealing with this again this week#ibuprofen isn't enough i need novocaine in my grey tissue
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the sheer and utter agony of waiting for a call back for medical things , , , , ,
#i have called#so many medical people in the past two days#i finally got my referral but the person they referred me to had Really Shitty Reviews i come to find out#and wouldn't see me until mid february at the earliest#so i've been#on and off the phone with my insurance asking what i can do#and they finally got me the info for another office#but they wouldn't talk to me until i had the referral sent to them#so i had to go BACK to my insurance and say 'yes please send the referral to them'#and then i was BACK to the new office but they didn't pick up so now i'm just#waiting for a call back so i can hopefully schedule an appointment#sometime before mid february#it is#kind of a leap of faith at this point because there's no guarantee they'll have any appointments earlier#but at the same time#they literally list the medical procedure i need on their office website which is Leagues™ above the other office#which had a blank facebook page and nothing else#(and also reviews saying multiple people got turned away for their issue being '''too big''' for them to deal with)#(with most people citing 'it was bigger than a pea and they said no' which is)#(bad for me who is dealing with a rapidly-growing walnut-sized tumor)#(which will be the size of a lime by the time i see them in february)#(so here's hoping 🤞)#anyway sorry for the constant tag vents i am just#going through a whole lot of nonsense right now sdkfjhglk
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your first love hits different
#another day another vent-in-the-tags post#i came across a picture of me and my fiest boyfriend of five years today. picture must've been 10 years old at this point#found many more pictures of him and us on my dad's old pc#i can just feel my body pull and heart ache when i look at him in the pictures#wondering what my life would've looked like if i hadn't broken things off between us#we tried to stay friends and a couple of months later we went for a drink. when daying goodbye he moved in to kiss me#i was hesitant and stepped away. he couldn't bare having me in his life while not being together so he cut off all contact#don't get me wrong in any of my thoughts- i love babe whole heartedly and he's the only man for me now and in my future#it's just that nagging feeling burried deep. the 'what if's. what if i felt more confident about my body back then?#what if i hadn't moved on so quickly? what if i had let him kiss me?#i tried texting him telling him i was approved for gbp surgery (i broke things off because i was very insecure about my body)#he congratulated me and sincerely wished me all the happiness in the world but also asked me not to contact him again after this#it's been 7-ish years but every now and then i wonder how he's doing and what he's up to#he doesn't really have social media apart from facebook (and that page is private) and i only stayed in touch with his former best friend#but i'm not gonna ask him because i know they haven't spoken in years either#i've had plenty more relationships after him but i rarely ever think about those guys#am i okay? is this normal? lol#i should get my head out of this rabbit hole asap#add: the picture is almost 15 years old lol. my math ain't mathing. we met in 2009. not that it's important#i think i just moved on too quickly and didn't allow myself time & space to grieve. that's why he keeps popping up in my thoughts now & then
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officially said yes to a new teaching position and the dude immediately is like "so what about your salary?" as if i know what the fuck kind of salary makes sense ?????
#it's partly on me because i should have checked the statistics for that council#but i am also a very outspoken hater of this new system where teacher salaries are individual#which means someone who is more aggressive can just get loads more money#which means the school budget gets fucked bc the budgets are really limited#and i'm like. i'd rather have more qualified teachers around me than have a huge salary myself#bc i'm not in teaching for a big paycheck........ you know ???#so yeah i just said £200 more than i currently have#and he went 'yeah let's agree on that'#so like. god only knows how much he was prepared to give me ?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??! i hate money. i hate this system#but yeah. yay me.#it's wild being a teacher who is not from a middle class family bc i'm like. constantly earning more money than i've ever imagined earning#even though i'm teaching and teachers' wages are low and should be higher#anyways i get to cut my commute by 15 minutes and i think i get 2 coworkers of colour at this new school#at least if i go by their facebook page.. so all in all: a win#let's just hope i like this school bc i don't wanna go on another job interview for a fucking decade i hate this shit
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Hey can the person who owns the aggressive pittie in this apartment complex get a muzzle on that dog. That things gonna kill someone or something at some point
#its owner can barely control it!!!#it wouldve fucking attacked me if the owners hand had slipped just a bit that one time#just now it lunged at me and my dog and THANKFULLY we werent close to it#like if that thing manages to actually get out of its leash and tries to attack me or my dog#i WILL fucking kick it. i dont care if it dies or is injured. that dog is genuinely the most dangerous one ive ever#met#and on top of this theres another dog loose in my dads neighbourhood#thats aggressive and killed someones cat that was on a leash on monday#DONT GET A DOG IF YOU CANT CONTROL IT!!!#genuinely makes me mad like what the HELL#made a facebook post on the towns page about this and will write a note about it too
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Restaurants shouldn't be allowed to only have Instagram or Facebook as their only online presence, I want to find actual opening hours and I caaaan't :((((
#instagram bugs me more since I don't have it#but that doesn't mean Facebook pages are any better just cause it's less inconvenient for me#I wanna book a table for my friend's birthday lunch#and I'm struggling to even find out if this place does lunch lmao#I've been past in person and they looked open - but it's in another city#ffs#food
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If I am not blocking/reporting bots on tumblr, I'm removing suggested H*rry Potter pages on Facebook.
#about me#another day another battle#both on tumblr and Facebook#no matter how many times faced suggest me a Harry Potter page im just removing it instantly
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lady grey:favourite outfit?
oolong: ideal romantic partner?
peppermint:what’s your favourite holiday and why?
rooiboos: 3 facts about my family
lady grey:favourite outfit?
Hmmm this is difficult, I'd have to say a shirt over a tshirt or a jacket over a tshirt I feel like those are good outfits. If you're wearing a shirt as an over or just that, you have to roll up your sleeves, dems da rulez. But also since I've been wearing formals regularly I feel like a good set of formals is also amazing
oolong: ideal romantic partner?
ooh smart, funny, can take a joke, have similar political beliefs(I feel like that's usually overlooked) but also cheesy (sometimes), understanding, supportive, someone who i can really have good conversations with, like stare-at-the-stars-on-the-rooftop conversations about everything and nothing at all and i think at last mutual respect and trust
peppermint:what’s your favourite holiday and why?
honestly, anyone where i get to rest. but maybe diwali most, because food and sweets 😋
rooiboos: 3 facts about my family
my sister just completed her masters in comp sci
my mom makes really cool festival items like diyas and rangolis and torans and stuff and people love them
my dad was recently appreciated as the treasurer of our panchayat
#i feel like I should clarify the panchayat part first#it's a community for us like sindhi people and each state has their own panchayat#rajasthan and maharashtra panchayats are pretty close because most people from our community live in these states#and everyone knows everyone kinda thing#honestly I'm not even sure if other states have their own panchayat because these two are the only ones I know for sure about#all in all my dad's a pretty cool guy#he's also the secretary of our society#my mom has her own insta and Facebook page for the articles#she does exhibitions and stuff from time to time#I've helped her on a couple of occasions during those#I'm not a religious person so holidays are all about family and community to me#i flew home especially for Diwali even though I had just moved to another city#but it was worth it to me#ganesh chaturthi#is a close second because a few of my friends have ganpati at their place and it's nice to go visit them#i usually wear tshirt or shirt over jeans but a shirt/tshirt or a jacket/tshirt combo would be my favorite type of outfit#i have this maroon checked shirt which I love which I wore to comic con over a doctor who tshirt#that kinda thing#thanks for the ask#thanks for the ask anon!#asks#ask#answer
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Giacomo Leopardi
#catastrofeanotherme#parole#frasi tumblr#citazioni#frasi belle#pensieri#frasi#frasi vere#citazione#libri#letteratura#letteratura italiana#giacomo leopardi#segui il mio blog#another me#another me Facebook page
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I don't know I'm not done talking about it. It's insane that I can't just uninstall Edge or Copilot. That websites require my phone number to sign up. That people share their contacts to find their friends on social media.
I wouldn't use an adblocker if ads were just banners on the side funding a website I enjoy using and want to support. Ads pop up invasively and fill my whole screen, I misclick and get warped away to another page just for trying to read an article or get a recipe.
Every app shouldn't be like every other app. Instagram didn't need reels and a shop. TikTok doesn't need a store. Instagram doesn't need to be connected to Facebook. I don't want my apps to do everything, I want a hub for a specific thing, and I'll go to that place accordingly.
I love discord, but so much information gets lost to it. I don't want to join to view things. I want to lurk on forums. I want to be a user who can log in and join a conversation by replying to a thread, even if that conversation was two days ago. I know discord has threads, it's not the same. I don't want to have to verify my account with a phone number. I understand safety and digital concerns, but I'm concerned about information like that with leaks everywhere, even with password managers.
I shouldn't have to pay subscriptions to use services and get locked out of old versions. My old disk copy of photoshop should work. I should want to upgrade eventually because I like photoshop and supporting the business. Adobe is a whole other can of worms here.
Streaming is so splintered across everything. Shows release so fast. Things don't get physical releases. I can't stream a movie I own digitally to friends because the share-screen blocks it, even though I own two digital copies, even though I own a physical copy.
I have an iPod, and I had to install a third party OS to easily put my music on it without having to tangle with iTunes. Spotify bricked hardware I purchased because they were unwillingly to upkeep it. They don't pay their artists. iTunes isn't even iTunes anymore and Apple struggles to upkeep it.
My TV shows me ads on the home screen. My dad lost access to eBook he purchased because they were digital and got revoked by the company distributing them. Hitman 1-3 only runs online most of the time. Flash died and is staying alive because people love it and made efforts to keep it up.
I have to click "not now" and can't click "no". I don't just get emails, they want to text me to purchase things online too. My windows start search bar searches online, not just my computer. Everything is blindly called an app now. Everything wants me to upload to the cloud. These are good tools! But why am I forced to use them! Why am I not allowed to own or control them?
No more!!!!! I love my iPod with so much storage and FLAC files. I love having all my fics on my harddrive. I love having USBs and backups. I love running scripts to gut suck stuff out of my Windows computer I don't want that spies on me. I love having forums. I love sending letters. I love neocities and webpages and webrings. I will not be scanning QR codes. Please hand me a physical menu. If I didn't need a smartphone for work I'd get a "dumb" phone so fast. I want things to have buttons. I want to use a mouse. I want replaceable batteries. I want the right to repair. I grew up online and I won't forget how it was!
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sorry im being silly tonight. im just thinking about how. i was placed 3rd at a cosplay competition at japanexpo paris this year. and its one of my biggest achievements as a cosplayer and i cant really brag about it. like i told my parents. i guess. my friends congratulated me. thats nice. like. really nice. but idk its like. when people go to cons abroad and get placements, even when they dont, mondo posts about it and they get two pages in the next mondo issue. and i guess you have to let them know for them to report it but. it just feels like something thats cool if youre a big cosplay name and trashy if youre not and with 13 years like literally half my lifetime and a long history of competing i know im still not someone anyone would name their favourite cosplayer. im just some guy whos too broke and depressed to be able to make a big name and so my shitty little third place at the biggest anime con in europe feels like no big deal.
#hakuna matata#i won a prize at mondocon this april and the only reason im proud of that is a cosplayer i really love judged me#i was really happy i could show myself off to her and that she liked me this much bc shes the reason i started doing skits#otherwise it was... humiliating.#a pat on the head.#every other craft category got cosplay supplies. i got a big led keyboard for a computer i dont have because it was from a sponsor.#im conflicted too bc if i were to tell mondo about it they would post about it like 'representing hungary'#i didnt represent shit. i represented myself and an anime i love. i entered because my mondo prize felt like a sick joke#and i wanted to know if im worth anything as a craftsman besides being a funny clown#its like i do cool shit but barely anyone sees it.#something something tree falling in a forest#its also hurting because just this year i was told by someone that i cant cosplay seriously without expensive tools#this was someone with less experience than me too#like... what do i have to do? i compete abroad#i get prizes abroad i win mondo prizes ive been doing it for more than a decade i learned entirely new skills trying to cut costs#what do i have to do to be like. more than a clown in funny costumes.#(running a facebook page is not an option. i deleted the old one in a depressive episode and im not making another one)#argh idk. i published a fanbook this year. about to open preorders for my first collaborative charity fanzine.#it feels like the only people i can brag about these to are the people who already know about everything i do and support me#which!!! really!!! im super glad to have friends like this!!!#its just. sigh i wish i could tell more people about the things i do and get a reaction other than 'ok but who are you'#or 'idk what this means but congrats'#like. more than a pat on the head.#idk. idk im sad again and i feel like nothing matters and i dont want to bore my friends with this.#they deserve better than me making them feel like their love and support doesnt mean as much as they want to.
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i miss annoying webpages that were annoying bc they seemed careless .. everything is equally annoying these days except they purposely coded it to do that
#stop asking me to sign up for ur newsletter on every refresh#stop shoving that customer service chat box in my face#no i dont wanna turn off my adblocker because it hurts ur website 💔#im halfway thru reading THIS page dont suggest me another one right now???#i dont wanna share ur page on facebook twitter tumblr dribbble linkedin blogger#no i dont wanna do ur survey !!!#omg dont prevent me from closing the tab just let me leave
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waking up after a night out drinking in a foreign country only to realise that the bed you're in is not your own. no one is beside you. you try to leave but the doors are all locked. the windows won't open. you're trapped. a pretty bird in a cage.
nothing is in the dressers except large, old shirts. the clothes you were wearing when you woke up disappear after you take a shower. no panties. no bra. food shows up on schedule. you never see who leaves it.
they don't answer when you scream. when you bang your fists against the door until they're bloodied. passing out on the floor when the drugs finally kick in. but the mess you make in the daytime is cleaned up. your hands bandaged. disapproval heavy in the air along with the stale scent of tobacco. smoke.
when you're good, you get things. books. magazines. treats. your favourite food. a laptop arrives when you sob yourself to sleep after screaming yourself hoarse about loneliness, and how this isn't right. this isn't okay. it's restricted, of course. you log into Facebook but the moment you try and ask for help, the internet is turned off. you're being watched. monitored closely.
you learn your lesson slowly, giving nothing away to your family and pretending you're enjoying your holiday. being good. quiet.
instead of treats, gifts, recipe books arrive—some pages dogeared. you start making the food. leaving a plate in the fridge. it's gone the next morning. more recipes appear. you make them, too. an expensive chain comes next. a pretty gold necklace for a pretty bird in a golden cage.
(each meal gets you a strange rash on your cheek, jaw the next morning. beard burn, you think, and try not to shudder.)
lingerie comes after. silk, lace. all of it fits perfectly. you try to avoid it. the idea, the implication, is a knife between your ribs, but the next morning, your laptop is missing. the books are gone. food, too. your clothes disappear until all that remains is the lingerie set and a little black box. one you pointedly ignore. throw out with the trash. chew on gum to make the ache in your belly go away until that vanishes too.
your world is narrowed down to hunger. loneliness. isolation—
(in the corner of the rooms, a red light glints in the dark. lonely, but not alone.)
it persists until you relent. give in. another lesson you learn. you wear the set to bed, and try to think nothing of it—
you wake up to something heavy around you. a warm, thick body pressed against your bare spine. coarse chair tickling the skin between your shoulder blades. a burly arm under your neck, elbow bent to wrap a rough hand around your neck. the other slung over your hip, shoved between your thighs. something hard presses into your ass. a bruising pressure. it aches. you stifle a gasp, but with his long, thick fingers wrapped tight around your throat, he feels it.
everything goes still. quiet. just the faint rustle of sheets. the scratch of coarse hair on silk. a breath. you tremble. fight back another gasp when lips press into your crown with a sharp inhale. scenting you. nuzzling into your scalp. warm breath that smalls of malt and honey. woodsy. tobacco.
your eyes adjust slowly to the dark, and fall on a black box left on top of your end table. velvet, you know. you've felt the softness between your fingers when you threw it in the trash with a sob. no escaping it, after all.
the hand between your thighs twitches. when he speaks, it shudders through your spine, makes your hair stand on end. it's a growling purr. the low roar of an old engine. more grit than comfort in the midnight dark.
"jus' close your eyes, love," he rasps, pushing his thick body tighter against you. coiling around you like a big, hungry bear. "an' go back to sleep for me."
and you do.
#heavily implied somno but im on the fence if Price would follow it through so its vague until i make up my mind about it#kisses his little wife goodbye each morning but sometimes gets carried away :T#captain john price x reader#price x reader#john price x reader#im gonna flesh this out because i love this idea tbh but i needed to get this out or id combust
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