#another case where i don't think i've ever called anyone else that because it's always felt a little dorky or whatever

[copiawife]

i love calling copia dreamy so much he's so dreamy to me!!!!

[spumonibones]

I've noticed that yandere corrupted Venti pics are aplenty, but ...

I think a corrupted yandere Xiao fic has potential

Oh very much so, especially with the karmic debt, and the theory that Abyssal Corruption actually enhances your negative ambitions!! (Good stuff for twisting love from afar into an obsession that results in abandoning his post) I can probably type up at least af fic idea for it! Unfortunately at the moment I'm not at a point I could write a fic like that - still looking over my shoulder thanks to some personal experiences. These two have been a sort of "safe, comfort" ship since. But! I'm pretty sure I saw some fic summaries with that! When I find them, I'll send those your way! :]

As for a fic idea... Hmm. I know there's a popular Time Loop theory for Genshin. But, I'm not a big fan of it? Far too often those storylines get fumbled hard, and it would feel too much like a cop-out to escape the growing retcons instead of accepting that the story has changed since the game's start. (Which is pretty normal for games of this nature) Ah. Sorry. Anyway. There could be a parallel timeline. Maybe in that one, the Sinner from the Abyss acted sooner, and Teyvat has been coated in Abyssal energy? Oh, Xiao's beta design would work well for an Abyss-infected variation! (More under cut because WOW this got long??)

If his Barbatos died trying to stop the Sinner, it would be motivation to find ways of different times in which Barbatos still lives. Given the Monstadt story prologue, we know that Venti can get "poisoned" from Abyssal energy. If our... Let's call him, "Void Xiao," to mitigate confusion. As players we're taught to associate the Abyss Realm with the Abyss Order, though we've learned in Fontaine these don't always go hand in hand. Another term for the Abyss Realm is the Void Realm, so it'll function for these needs.

I looked up the definition of yandere, and included it for anyone that may need it! (I actually like this because it notes that this incorrectly tries to attribute these actions to mental illness. Individuals with mental illness are significantly more likely to be victims! When looking at "real life" examples of yandere attitudes, it's often individuals with no respect for the boundaries of others, and a sense of entitlement. No one owes anyone else their time or affection - always place firm boundaries, and if you ever feel unsafe do what you must to get out of the situation to be safe!!)

Back to the story idea! Hmm. Maybe VoidXiao got access to Forbidden Knowledge and that's how he jumped timelines...? If the Sinner took over Teyvat, the Heavenly Principles/Primordial One wouldn't be there to enforce the Laws they created. The whole world would be infected with Forbidden Knowledge and Void energy, and access would be easy. Don't quote me, but I'm pretty sure the game describes karmic debt to be different from Abyssal Corruption? But it (karmic debt) does sound similar to Forbidden Knowledge in its affects.

And if we go that karmic debt and Forbidden Knowledge ARE connected, he might even just have access to it as the Abyssal Corruption enhances that ambition to possess, and in a way protects him from succumbing to karmic debt to instead control it? Hmm. Might be bit of a stretch, but there's potential, maybe?

But, it would allow for a corrupted yandere Xiao! Though I feel like someone already wrote this...? Ah, if this is a fic summary I read and am just regurgitating, please let know the fic! 😭 I'll link it and delete my text if this is the case!

I'm sorry if this isn't a good request fulfillment orz

I think the first thing Void Xiao would do, is try to kill the main timeline Xiao and dump him in the Chasm where no one can find the body. Xiao could get saved by the Black Serpent knights, of whom are on a loop of protecting people and with the Abyssal Corruption on our Xiao, might mistake him for a dying hilichurl. The Fatui underground could then further help him identifying what they believe is an injured person and as we learn from them while in there, they aren't inherently bad people. I think they would genuinely try to help him, even with their limited resources.

Anyway, Void Xiao would split his attentions between capturing the time he lost with Barbatos, never being close enough to risk hurting Venti with the Abyssal energy (in Monstadt prologue, we get confirmation it "poisons" Venti when he gets hurt by it when the Traveler+Paimon interrupt him attempting to heal Dvalin). But also that distance is so Venti *can't* identify that Void Xiao is compromised. Lots of bittersweet moments, with Venti happy that what he thinks is his Xiao finally wants to spend time with him. Void Xiao savoring each visit, the painful reminder it could be so easily taken away again, that this was something he once refused and now sees was for silly reasons.

The other would be him trying to empower Venti by gathering more believers. I know there's general agreement that Venti is much stronger than he let's on, and I won't get into that discussion too much. But in this story, if however strong he is wasn't enough to survive the Sinner, Void Xiao would see fit to give him more strength to maybe stand a better chance when the time comes in this world. (Perhaps there was never a Traveler in his timeline, and that's why the Sinner acted sooner?)

I can see him rescuing people from old habits, telling them that Barbaros sent him to save them. Venti would notice more people going to the church, worshiping the statue. Would get a bit confused, why are people getting more into... That? All the while, Void Xiao is feeling jealous. He understands WHY everyone wants to fawn over Venti when he sings, when he plays music. But do they have to get so close? And Monstadt citizens start getting hurt, going missing. Venti recognizes the pattern, and while he investigates Void Xiao goes with, pretending he doesn't know who did it either. All while adoring how "kind" Venti is, even to worry about his "stalkers" (none on the citizens ever were).

Our Xiao has strength to call for help, and Zhongli comes. Gives him the adeptal drink to help stave off the mix of karmic debt and Abyssal Corruption threatening to consume him, too. His only resistance is that he SAW what he becomes if he let it, and that if he doesn't resist Venti WILL get hurt and he'll be helping to hurt him instead of warning him. Once strong enough, he struggles towards Monstadt, hoping he isn't too late.

Back over, Venti is noticing the trend and speaks with Dilic, well aware the man has also been following closely. They make a plan. Diluc pretends to be tipsy and be "too friendly" with Venti, and Venti "leaves." On Diluc's way back to the Dawn Winery, he gets attacked and is READY.

Except he's face to face with a demon. Diluc struggles in the fight, recognize the Abyssal energy his opponent is using. Venti shows up to help (he was tailing Diluc with enough distance), and is horrified to see the state Void Xiao is in, that HE'S the one that had been hurting people. Void Xiao holds Diluc hostage, telling Venti that he's doing what he has to. Doesn't Venti enjoy time with him, too? Doesn't Venti want to be with him? Venti asks him to let Diluc go. Diluc is one of his children, and was just pretending because Venti asked him to so he could find the culprit. He tries to reach out to the last goodness on Void Xiao, not wanting to hurt him but also trying to save Diluc.

Diluc is not blinded by the love that Venti is. He can very well see that Void Xiao is ready to kill Diluc once Venti isn't there to force the corrupted one to save face. He uses his Delusion (in Canon he has the one that killed his father), and the Pyro distracts/hurts Void Xiao enough he can put some distance. Venti helps hold off Void Xiao, and tells Diluc to run. Diluc doesn't want to leave, but Venti goes Full Barbatos and gives that look parents give to their kids to know they can either willingly go to their room or get carried to it. So Diluc runs, but back to Monstadt for backup.

Void Xiao, now terrified he's going to lose Venti again, shifts to more desperate measures. If Venti is corrupted, maybe he'll be safe? Maybe he'll understand? Too far deep into the affects of the Abyssal Corruption to realize this would kill Venti. So Void Xiao pleads - please? Won't Venti hold his hand while he succumbs to karmic debt? Playing on that kindness Venti has. And why would Venti refuse? Warped as Void Xiao is, he still thinks this is his Xiao! Yes, he'll get poisoned, but he'll just go to Windrise again to get cleansed.

Except Void Xiao grabs him, claws in and bites down so Venti can't get away without hang to literally rip the other off. The energy immediately starts trying to seep in, Venti struggling to get away, trying to find how to do so without hurting Void Xiao too much. Void Xiao is whispering it'll be okay, giving the soft kisses he always wanted to give but until then couldn't.

And then Xiao shows up, cutting clean off both Void Xiao's arms to save Venti. It's slow-mo. Venti turning, eyes widening to see his Xiao there, full of exhaustion but there. Xiao glaring at Void Xiao through his mask, more angry that he was killing Venti with cruelty while whispering how much he loved him. Void Xiao, who's eyes never leave Venti even as the corruption forms monstrous arms so he can "save" himself and Venti "from" this timeline's Xiao.

Diluc arrives with Jean, Kaeya, Rosaria, and Lisa (Jean knew, Kaeya and Lisa figured it out, and Rosaria learned about it while tailing Venti when doing her own investigation of the injured/missing citizens). Xiao orders them to get Venti to Windrise, as their best option is Barbatos not dying? But Void Xiao tries to prevent that, and it becomes a battle to not get infected themselves, and getting Venti who's getting weaker to the tree.

It's difficult and long, but they do get to Windrise. Venti gets stronger, Void Xiao gets weaker. And at the end, the last of the Abyssal Corruption leaving a dying Void Xiao, Venti holds him. Gives him those last moments that he never got. Afterwards, he checks on his children, on his Xiao. Everyone is hurt, but not tainted. Before Xiao leaves Venti tells him, "he told me that he regretted never spending time with me, and then it was too late." And then he asks, "Are you the same?" Hopeful that maybe, maybe all that time he spent with Void Xiao wasn't just the influence of Abyssal Corruption. That this isn't one-sided on Venti's part in this time.

"...I would like that." Xiao admits. Because his biggest regret in the Chasm, where he thought he might die... Was that he never spent time with Venti. Never got to be the reason the other smiled, and all this time... Now? He's learning Venti felt the same.

And so they do.

[canirove]

The Princess & the Football Player | Chapter 33

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Are you sure we can stay here? I don't want to bother anyone."

"You won't be bothering anyone, Eleanor. Don't worry."

"Thank you so much for this, Mark. We didn't know where else to go" Declan says.

"Anything for you, guys" Noble replies. 

This had been Declan's great idea: hiding at Rush Green, West Ham's training center. It was a private area with its own security, and they have small apartments for the players to spend the night when needed. It has everything to be the perfect place, even David agreed on it.

"I just hope the paparazzis won't bother the other players when they arrive for training. They will definitely check each car."

"Everything will be under control, don't worry" Noble says, giving me an encouraging smile. "All you have to do now is make yourself at home and check if you need anything, like a toothbrush and things like that. And don't worry about dinner, we'll ask them to bring you something."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I'm sorry I got you into this mess. Again" I say to Declan once Noble has left.

"It's ok, don't worry."

"No, it isn't ok. You didn't want any of this, that's why you broke up with me. And now I'm dragging you back into it and when you are having an amazing season. It isn't fair."

"Have you been keeping up with my games?" he smiles.

"Of course I have. But that's not what matters right now."

"Then what is?" Declan asks while putting a lock of hair behind my ear. It is something he would do all the time when we were together, usually without thinking, and that would make me feel all fuzzy inside. This time, it hasn't been any different.

"That I should have gone somewhere else and leave you alone."

"Eleanor, I don't want you to leave me alone."

"What?" I say, meeting his eyes.

"In case you haven't noticed, I still love you. It's been almost three years, and I haven't been able to stop loving you. And the fact that the place you chose to hide after running away from your family and your boyfriend, was my parents' house, tells me that you also love me. Well, that, and what happened before our nap" he smiles while caressing my cheek.

"But we... This..."

"I'm ready to give us another chance, Eleanor. I know it is gonna be tough, the toughest thing ever. The press will probably be ruthless when they find out, the fans too. But I know I am ready to fight against it all, I know I want this. Us."

"Are you sure?"

"Never been more sure of anything in my entire life. I've thought about it and discuss it with myself and those who know me better than I know myself many times over the years. I've cried, got angry, sad, hopeful… And my final conclusion after all that is that I'm done with being afraid and denying what I feel. That I love you, Eleanor. I love you and I want to be with you. Always and forever."

"Say that again, please."

"Which part?" he chuckles.

"All of it. And my name, you know how much I like that."

"I love you, Eleanor. Always and forever."

"I love you too, Declan" I say before kissing him.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"And? How was it?"

"It was fine" Declan says, letting himself fall on the sofa next to me.

"I need more details."

"There is a bunch of paps outside. They took photos of everyone arriving, same when they left, but they didn't bother anyone."

"Good. That's good. What did you say to the boys?" I ask.

"That because of what had happened I needed to stay away from all the noise and just focus on training and our next game, that that was the reason why I was staying here. So far they don't know you also are with me."

"Ok..."

"Have you spoken with your parents yet?"

"No, not yet. David called earlier to check in and he said that my dad was still a bit confused with everything that had happened and that my mum seemed ok, just a bit pissed with what is being published."

"Really?" Declan asks. "She isn't angry with you?"

"I already told you, she's on our side."

"I still can't believe it, to be honest" he chuckles . "What about Charles?"

"David hasn't seen him since Christmas Eve, but he apparently is struggling. He... He truly loves me, Declan. He fell in love with me. And I feel so bad for everything I've done. For lying to both him and myself, for making him believe that we could have a future together and..."

"Hey, come here" he says while hugging me.

"He's gonna hate me for the rest of his life" I cry on his shoulder. 

"He won't, he'll understand. It may take him some time but..."

"I hope you are right" I say, hugging him tighter. "He helped me so much when we broke up... I don't know what I would have done without him." 

"You know, I've been so jealous of him... Every time I saw you in the press together I just wanted to punch his stupid pretty face."

"What?" I laugh, moving to look at him.

"He has a very pretty face" Declan smiles.

"So do you."

"But it's different."

"And that's why I love it. I love your blue eyes, how they are a shade I've never seen before. I love how long your eyelashes are, the freckles you get in the summer. I love your lips, especially the lower one, always asking to be bitten. And I love your nose. So special, so unique. Just like you. There is no one like you."

"Did her royal highness just say something cheesy?" he teases me.

"I don't know what you are talking about, Declan Rice."

"I'm pretty sure you have said something cheesy, ma'am."

"I don't do cheesy."

"Don't you?" he asks, arching a brow and starting to tickle me.

"Declan!" I laugh while he pushes me down on the sofa. "Declan, stop!"

"Not until you admit it."

"I... Won't!" 

"Then I'll keep tickling you."

"No, stop!" I laugh.

"Then say it."

"I want to kiss you."

"That's not it, Eleanor" he chuckles, his nose brushy against mine.

"But it is what I want to do right now. I want to kiss you. Maybe do more than just kiss you."

"Eleanor..."

"Did Mason ever tell you about his anniversary with Roberta at Stamford Bridge?"

"Stop changing the topic, Eleanor."

"Did he or not?" I ask while running my fingers up and down the back of his neck.

"He told me they had dinner there."

"Just that?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because after dinner, they did... Something in the changing room."

"You mean... They... Oh wow."

"Yep" I chuckle. "And even though we weren't together when that happened, it is something I've always fantasized about."

"That's interesting. Keep talking" Declan smirks.

"What about me admitting that I was being cheesy?"

"We'll leave that for later. Tell me more about this fantasy of yours."

"Well..." I say, biting my lip. "I've thought about us going to West Ham's changing room once everyone has left, either at the stadium or here."

"And what did we do?"

"You can imagine."

"I cannot, no. Explain it to me."

"Declan..." I say, feeling my cheeks burn.

"Don't go shy on me now" he laughs. "C'mon. Tell me what we did."

"I would sit in your locker while you stood in front of me, naked from the waist down, and I... You know."

"Ok" he laughs again. "And then what?" 

"Then you would kneel in front of me and do to me what I did to you."

"And then? Because I'm sure we did more than that" he whispers.

"Then we went to the showers and... And you can imagine what happened, we've already done something like that."

"Would you like to do it now?"

"What?" I say with a nervous laugh.

"We have Rush Green just for us. We can go to the changing room and do all that and more" Declan says.

"But what if... What if a security guard sees the light on and comes to check who it is?"

"We'll put a sign on the door, something like what they have on hotels."

"You can't be serious."

"I am very serious, Eleanor. Let's go" he says, getting up and offering me his hand.

"How have we gone from me crying on your shoulder, to you telling me you wanted to punch Charles, then me being cheesy, and now to both of us being horny as hell?" I laugh as I also get up and take his hand.

"Wait, did you just admit that you were cheesy?" he smirks.

"Shut up" I say, rolling my eyes.

"I knew I would get what I wanted" Declan smiles. "But to answer your question... We wasted almost three years of our lives being away from each other, so now we have to catch up on the bad moments, the sad moments, and the really good moments."

"You are being too optimistic about being able to be as good as in my fantasies" I tease him.

"Have I ever let you down when we've made any of them a reality?"

"Never."

"And today won't be the day I fail. You'll see" he says while opening the door of our little apartment and giving me that smile able of making my body burst into flames.

[valerileygreen]

@thenwhatthefukcisthis I'm sorry, I'm apparently an idiot and deleted your ask, but here it is (luckily i had made a screenshot as memo 😅)

And here's the answer.

I imagine you mean rare pairs involving Arthur or Eames. I must confess that I'm mostly the type that when gets enamored with a ship on this level, aka obsession, I can't really see the characters with anyone else, unless we're talking about past relationships that didn't work out in the end for one reason or another.

(and in almost every fandom I've ever been on there's always been at least one OTP I couldn't see any differently no matter the circumstances)

I think it's a matter of chemistry, and in this case the chemistry between Arthur and Eames (99,9999999% thanks to JGL and TH) is so off the charts and so much higher than with anyone else that I can think of little else when it concerns these 2.

I do love some good misunderstandings a la 'Eames thinks Arthur is in love with Cobb/is infatuated with Ariadne', if it's written right, but that's it. And I honestly think that kind of specific jealousy would only work in that direction, not because Arthur isn't jealous but because they are different people.

Arthur is one who latches on to people and is the most loyal protective motherfucker around, so it makes sense on some level and in certain circumstances, that Eames would get jealous of people who get close enough to him to get so much of his attention, even if it's absolutely not in a romantic capacity, because Eames wants all that focus constantly directed at himself (see all the pigtails pulling he does during inception). While Arthur mostly just wants Eames to grow a pair and commit to a real relationship (with him of course), because he's the type to keep his distance to protect himself and so he only has one-night-stands and brief meaningless flings, and the most recurrent one is Arthur himself, so there's really no one specific for Arthur to be jealous of.

On to platonic relationships, well they're all interesting, because they're all so complex characters. It would be cool to see if and how the team would interact with each other in the future. If Saito keeps their contact and occasionally calls them and offers them jobs and gets them out of trouble (just because he needs to protect his investments of course), and maybe with his help they build a (mostly) legal career for themselves (with the possibility to take independent jobs as long as they don't negatively impact his empire, because they get restless otherwise). If Ariadne actually stays in the dreamshare world or not, and in that case if she teams up with Arthur and Eames or if she'll mostly fly independently. If Yusuf will ever get the chance to redeem himself in their eyes (I really hope so because their dynamic would be absolutely delightfully hilarious from what little we saw, and yes he was a bastard, but they all are on a certain level).

Mostly though, I'm very curious to see the dynamics both Eames and Arthur had with the people they already knew, because as much as I enjoy thinking about the future, there's something about exploring previous dynamics, how and why we've come to this point, that just fascinates me to no end.

I want to know everything about Arthur's friendship with Mal (actually I'm curious about Mal as a person in general), and with Cobb too from before, because I like to think Cobb was a better friend to Arthur before he lost his wife and was forced on the run away from his kids and had only his dreams as therapy. I want to know how they met and who he met first and if he was so close to them to know their children too (of course he was, he was basically their younger brother and the kids call him uncle Art).

And I want to know the Cobbs' relationship with Eames too, if they knew each other at all (it seems a given) and what their dynamic was, and where Eames' antipathy for Cobb stems from, if it's just something that's always been there by instinct, or because of a sort of rivalry, or if something happened at some point between them, or if it's because of Arthur (how Cobb treats him or something).

I also want to know the nature of Eames' relationship with Yusuf, if they're just passing acquaitances or if they have a deeper friendship. Objectively I think it should be the former considering how little Eames reacted about his betryal compared to how he reacted to Cobb. But for Eames to suggest him for such a dangerous job he must have trusted him for real, so maybe they have some history, not really best friends but maybe Yusuf saved his ass at some point or something, or maybe it's just that he saw how competent he was and how careful and attentive with his 'patients'.

If hard-pressed though, I'd say the dyanmic I most wish to be able to see is Arthur&Mal. There's only one little sentence that hinted at some kind of relationship between them (she was lovely), but man, the way JGL delivers it and his pained expression really make you think there was a world and years of friendship, little interactions and kind gestures and supporting words and gossip and funny anecdotes and inside jokes, between them, and damn i want it all.

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

Okay. Let's talk about Kay in The Forgotten Turnabout.

I've mentioned in a post before how I think Kay doesn't have a purpose in AAI2 (as in, AAI was all about the Yatagarasu which is her story, but AAI2 generally has nothing to do with her, and you can see this change just by looking at how she's positioned in the promotional material for the two games:

[left AAI; right AAI2.] In the left poster, while she's at Edgeworth's back, it's clear that they're both the main focus. In the right, though, she's on par with Gumshoe).

And I think the result of her slight lack of direction in the game culminates in what happens to her and her character in Forgotten.

From the beginning of AAI2, you can kind of tell that Kay was written to a bit different from how she was in AAI. She's still fairly consistent with how she was there, but the game kind of bounces between her original characterisation and her newer one, where she's slightly denser (see her calling the laser pointer a mole in Target, when she should definitely have known what it was; and them explaining to her what a prison is in Imprisoned like she wouldn't know??) and less concerned with maintaining formality around Edgeworth, although they haven't interacted since the end of AAI (see her partner opening line changing from "Yes?" to "Yeah, what's up?"). She also seems more eager for his approval (there are a few times when she questions/asserts her effectiveness as an assistant when I don't remember her ever doing that in AAI), and, overall just a little more like Maya.

In Imprisoned, when she freaks out, Kay hits Ray, which is notable because we've only seen her resort to violence before on purpose and as a child (whereas Mia/Maya have both hit people out of emotion). I'm not going to go through the whole game, but I bring it up because there's an argument to be made that they're trying to replicate the Phoenix-Maya dynamic and push the Dadworth interpretation in AAI2 -- probably because they realised it'd be popular with the fans -- and this comes to the forefront in Forgotten.

First, just a note about AA's amnesia cases. The thing about these cases is that they're usually done to explore some formerly unseen aspect of a character (as is with Phoenix and the one in DGS), BUT they're always true to the nature of the character (as is most clearly observed with Thalassa). This is... not so in Forgotten.

The parts about Kay that appear to remain in Forgotten are her politeness and sense of honour, both of which get dialed up to 11 and both of which we already know she possess. Everything else about her personality, though, is altered and has always reminded me of Iris (if you made a parody of Iris's soft and seemingly delicate nature). That's mostly because (1) they have similar sprites

and (2) because they're rehashing Edgeworth's mini arc in T&T (which I don't mind because T&T did leave room for that concept to be explored further) where he acts as the defence for, you guessed it, Iris. Looking at it more closely, though, I can definitely see bits of Maya mixed in, too.

The most obvious parallel to Maya, and by extension Phoenix, here is that you act as a... not-prosecutor who defends their assistant from murder charges that even they think they might be guilty of (Reunion, and Turnabout, anyone?). Just like Reunion Maya, Forgotten Kay has poor self-esteem (albeit to a greater, comedic degree), thinks of herself as weak and useless, and becomes reliant on Edgeworth for both her emotional and situational needs (this is not a dig at Maya; she was in jail after having her first big channeling session result in death. Her reaction was natural).

Another less serious but obvious alteration made to make Kay seem more like Maya here is her relationship with food -- which I know sounds ridiculous but!! It's really what tipped me off to her Maya-fication to begin with!!!

You see, in Forgotten, there's a point where Kay talks about hamburgers:

Kay: Umm... OK. I remember a faint scent... It was a wonderful smell coming from the counter of a food stall... I followed the fragrance, only to find a perfectly sculpted burger, resting on two golden buns... The tender and juicy patty made my taste buds sing with joy... Yes, I can remember what I thought at that moment! ...I want seconds!

The thing about this that stands out to me is that you never get a line about food like this from Kay in AAI; and I know this, because not only is the only time Kay ever brings up food in AAI with regards to Swiss rolls (which are notably her favourite treats), you have the option of presenting food to her, which gives you this dialogue:

Kay: It's a box of Samurai Dogs, right? Ah, but see, I'm a Jammin' Ninja fan! So, while I would love to have one... I'm going to be strong and resist the urge!

She would have one but she'll refrain. It blatantly goes against how she acts in Forgotten, and it's so obvious that they only did that to make her more like Maya!!! They even use burgers!!!!

So why am I even getting all uppity about this? There's nothing wrong with being like Maya is there? She's a great character. And, yeah, she is, but the point of Kay is that she's meant to be a foil to Maya... and Edgeworth.

Both Maya and Edgeworth lost their parents at a very young age. So did Kay. But, unlike Maya and Edgeworth, Kay was specifically written to have had the emotional support and strength she needed to move on from her father's death. Her character was created in a way that shows how you can still love and respect a dead family member (and choose to continue their legacy) without being held back by grief and trauma the way Edgeworth largely is. By making amnesiac Kay behave in a way that is so self-deprecating and reliant on other people for her emotional needs, you are implying that this has been who she is deep inside all along and diluting that message of being able to move forwards while still holding onto your love for the people you've lost. It undermines the resilience that has been a part of Kay's core as a character from her conception, and basically flattens everything that makes her... Kay.

Now, this is obviously not great, but what really gets to me about this is that they didn't need to do this for the case to still work. They could have given Kay a milder form of amnesia, where she has a gap in her memory regarding why she was up on that roof and what happened, and the story would have largely functioned the same way. The only reason I can think of for why they do a complete 180 on her personality is because they wanted to use her to develop Edgeworth's character.

Because think about it: we've seen Kay put in a position where she's been accused of murder before, and that didn't affect our or Edgeworth's desire to save her. That drama and the feelings invoked by placing Kay at such risk would still exist; the only thing that would change is Kay's reaction to it. We know from Ablaze that she wouldn't just fold and rely on Edgeworth's help; she would fight back. Her behaviour in Forgotten just doesn't quite align with her usual character (aside from being extremely honourable and polite), which makes me wonder why they did it. And the only answer I can find is that it gives Edgeworth someone to 'save' in the greatest sense of that word (because, remember, she's also extremely emotionally vulnerable and dependent on him here) and furthers his development as a character.

You remember at the beginning when I said Kay didn't have a purpose in this game? I think the developers felt that, too, and they decided that her purpose would be to make Edgeworth a better person and strengthen his arc by giving him someone to protect, without really considering what this would do to her character. This case was never about Kay; it was always about Edgeworth. And, honestly, that should have been obvious from the very moment you realise that Kay is being granted an amnesia plotline, because that whole thing about amnesia in AA being used to reveal parts of a character previously unseen? Yeah, that was never going to work with Kay. Because Kay doesn't wear a mask. She is who she is... until she isn't.

Honestly, I've said pretty much everything I wanted to say about Forgotten and Kay, so thank you if you've read this far. I really appreciate it 💝💖💕 The rest of this is me basically talking about how this change affects my feelings on the game and this interpretation of the Kay-Edgeworth dynamic, so you can stop reading now if that doesn't interest you and still get the basic point of this post.

I suppose I'll start by reiterating that I do like AAI2 despite what it may seem. The characters it introduces are some of my favourites in the franchise, and, in fact, the actual plot of Forgotten with the PIC is my favourite part of the entire game. I thought it was brilliant, but I just needed to get this out because... I don't know, it was bothering me for some reason hskdhdj Like, AA has some amazing female characters, but I know better than to go into it expecting some kind of boundary-pushing piece of new feminist media, believe me; it doesn't surprise me that they used Kay to push Edgeworth's character forwards. It is his game, after all. But I guess it's just a little frustrating to see after they genuinely achieved something great with her characterisation in AAI only to... there's no less inflammatory way to put it, infantilise her? a little? for the sake of developing a male character?

(Especially when I don't think Edgeworth even needed it?? Like, I'm pretty sure he would have been just as adamant about saving her if she had been her normal self so mmm???? It was likely just done to make him seem liked he'd be a good father and up his popularity a bit more, honestly. As if he needed it).

Again, I have no issues with anyone who enjoys the father-daughter (or brother-sister) dynamics pushed by this case; it's literally in the text, I can't say you're wrong for it and like. My opinion shouldn't matter to you anyway! It's fandom, do what makes you happy. But I personally can't get past what is actually being suggested when the game, or fanworks, echo the traits grafted onto Kay in this case within them. Like what it means when she's essentially made to take a few steps back so she's less as at peace with her father's death than she was when we first met her, or less independent and self-assured than she usually is -- especially when this is done only for an older male character (most likely Edgeworth but it could be anyone) to come in and either see themselves in her, thus coming to a conclusion that helps them better themselves in some way, or take on a "fatherly" position that lets them comfort her back to a level of confidence she would usually be at anyway, while simultaneously coming across as being such a good person (which is usually the focus/point of these kinds of things).

And, like, if you don't see a problem with Kay's characterisation in this version of their relationship, that's perfectly fine! If you think I'm reaching and do enjoy the Dadworth dynamic for what it is, then please don't let me rain on your parade. My main thing is that I want better for Kay, and this case just didn't satisfy my need for that.

Anyway, yeah! That's pretty much it. Thank you so much for everyone who read all of this, and I hope you got some amusement out of it if nothing else. Feel free to tell me your thoughts, too!

[godlesslittlecreatures]

Creature’s Petyr x Catelyn Masterlist, Part I

I've read it all...so you don't have to. 

I was delighted to get back on this app and find that there was demand for something like this. Even in the time since I started compiling this list, I've seen a few other lists going around, which makes my previously-closeted-PxC-shipper heart fucking sing. Y'all, I am not exaggerating when I say I very well may have read every single fic ever written for this pairing. That's both a fool's errand and impossibly easy considering the sheer lack of content, as I'm sure you know yourself if you're reading this post. 

I have stirred the dust at the very edges of the internet in my desperate, months-long search for quality content for this pairing. And believe me you, I'm no stranger to the disappointment of seeing something tagged "Petyr Baelish/Catelyn Tully Stark" (I encounter this issue more on AO3 than anywhere else, really), only for it either be an ancillary detail of the story, straight up nonconsensual, or an attempt by a butthurt ficwriter to punish two characters that so many people in the fandom seem to, at best, grievously misunderstand. Mistagging has caused me many an hour of eventual disappointment and cost me many a precious hour of my life that I will never get back.

But, even after wading chin-deep in all the shit this fandom has to offer, I have found gold. I'm here to prove it exists, if you only know where to look.

But Creature, what makes a fic good? How do you ascribe worth to something so subjective?

I've been told I'm a harsh critic, but this is less about literary merit than it is assessing quality as it pertains to the ship. Of course, many of these DO have some kind of literary merit, or, at least, are enjoyable to read. I grade a fic based on the following rubric, let's call it the Four Commandments of Petelyn Fic :

any acts of a sexual nature MUST - and I cannot stress this enough - be consensual. Do what you do, write what you write - I'm not here to police anyone's work. But don't put a pairing in the ship tag if anything that would earn it that slash between the characters' names is happening against either party's will. I simply will not read it. 

Petyr and Catelyn must have AT LEAST 2 face-to-face, one-on-one conversations. If you're going to use that damn slash, it doesn't have to be the principal element of the story, but it better feature in the foreground of the story, at least. It cannot just be a background detail that's mentioned once, off-handedly, at the end of a 63 chapter fic (true story, y'all). Better yet, it should have significant bearing on the plot, not unlike the way the relationship between the two does in canon - but that's a tall order, apparently. 

I alluded to this earlier. As an extensions of the first tenet - I do not want to feel the heat of the writer's hatred for the two characters through the story. So, SO often will people throw this pairing into some kind of canon divergent something or another and thrust them into each other's arms as a punishment for their Crimes in canon. Cat is Big Mean to Jon, so she gets the boot from Ned and ends up with Caricature of Petyr Who Lacks Any And All Nuance That Made The Character Interesting In The First Place to pay for Her Sins. I'm reading a fic because I like the characters, and I like the idea of them together (or, in many a case, him pining after her), not to stand beside someone on their moral high ground as they punish the two with each other. Again, not here to police anyone's work, so if you hate them both and want to take them to task by forcing them into some kind of relationship, be my guest! But don't expect to find your fic listed here. 

I have my own personal preferences (submissive Petyr, as I am not attracted to dominant men and genuinely don't think he would fill the dominant role in this relationship; I'll always prefer to read something requited, but that's even rarer a find; I'm not entirely crazy about AUs but can make exceptions, etc.) but I am trying to keep this as objective as possible. This list includes a pretty wide range of stuff, all of which I've enjoyed enough to reread at least once.

This may all seem like it goes without saying, but you'd be surprised. 

My credentials? A degree in TV and Film. I've read the books, and have studied the first three seasons of Thrones so closely that if I close my eyes I can watch full scenes in my head. I've been writing fic, fiction, television, and short films for 12 years, and reading and watching for nearly twice as long. And, most importantly, I'm a feral goblin who is batshit insane over these two. 

This list features fic from every corner of the internet - AO3, Tumblr, Live Journal. I unfortunately have been very hard-pressed to find anything that suits my fancy on FF.net, but if anybody has any recommendations (in line with the above), I intend for this list to be a living document.

And no, before anyone asks, I do NOT ship Petyr and Sansa. Respectfully, please keep that far the fuck away from me.

So, without further ado, here's a list of a very picky Petyr x Catelyn girlie's favorite fics.

An EXCELLENT starter kit. This is a three-part series that's currently updating. There are other things going on outside of them, but the relationship is essential to the story, thanks to the Cat POV chapters. This was the gateway drug for me way back when I still felt shame for shipping these two, and I love it still to this day. I love this series so much that, when I received the update notification for a particular Catelyn chapter in the middle of my college graduation, I dropped everything to read it. It moves fast, the political landscape is explored thoroughly, the divergence from canon is both plausible and interesting, and if you're not into smut, it's pretty fade-to-black.

Another one I read just after I'd taken the plunge down the rabbit hole. This is a notable exception to my general aversion to AUs - it works here, the real-world transpositions are not only believable, but clever! It features some pretty complex and subversive relationships between the characters; the PxC is certainly a critical, foreground element, but not always in the most immediately obvious way. Definitely had me Giggling and Kicking My Feet throughout. Refreshing is certainly a word. Obligatory smut advisory on this one, though.

Yes, I know, but hear me out. If you want to sample the best of the PxC wares the internet has to offer, you're gonna have to get down and dirty with Google's 'translate website' feature. This one is WORTH IT. I still tear up every time I read this. I have a particular soft spot for it because it reminds me of a short film I wrote/directed in college about my own experience with rejection and first love.

I believe this one is locked (meaning it requires an AO3 account to access), but making an account is both free and worth it. Yes, I know Winds is never coming out, but in my own delulu canon, this is it, this is the book. End series. Roll credits. 

Short as hell, you get the idea, but still fade-to-black if smut isn't your thing. It's hard to find good, dirty fic for this pairing. I do not currently have the mental bandwidth to be the change I wish to see in the world, but I will gladly support anyone with more patience than I.

Another locked one...oh no, I guess you'll just have to make an account.

Locked, again, but you know the drill. I believe it's by the same writer as the above. Always haunted by things that invoke Ewan McGregor's line in Moulin Rouge! - "thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love."

Not PWP but smut with themes, a favorite subgenre of mine.

Wholesome fluff to temper the fires of the above.

I think this may have been the very first one I ever read. Short and sweet, I revisit it pretty often.

Unfortunately, Tumblr only lets me add ten links at a time, so this is Part I of a multi-part series. I'll keep this post pinned at the top of my blog and add a link to succeeding parts in the comments.

I intend for this to be a living document - if you have any recommendations, my inbox is always open. Happy reading, my fellow PxC shippers :)

[snek-eyes]

Hi Vee! How are you? I hope you had a great start into the new year 🥳

I have a meta question! I'm not very good at comprehending stuff sometimes, so it might be a dumb question but alas. I'm ace, so it really bothers me not to know which is why I think you could help.

When Shax dresses up as hitchhiker and talks to Aziraphale on the way from Scottland, she says she's bemused as to why Crowley would risk destruction for him because "you don't seem his type at all". Does she mean judging by Crowley's looks and coolness and so on or does she mean Crowley had other lovers before and Azi doesn't fit in with them? The latter would bug me ngl, I'm the kind of romantic who even wants that kiss we saw to be the first kiss for both of them 😅 And then again Neil said that they can still be ace because the kiss was romantic but there is "no evidence for sexual relations" between Crow and Azi which then must include that of course there are also no hints that they've ever been involved with others...right? (I'm ace and I'm aware aces can have sexual relations if we want to but I think since Neil says they can be ace because there's no evidence of that, it means he includes those of our community repulsed by sex, too.)

I'd love if you could shed some light on the matter 😄

Cheers!

- 💫

Hey, happy new year! ✨🎉

So first, to actually answer your question, I think Shax in the car is just trying to rattle Aziraphale, like she does later in the bookshop by calling him Crowley's emotional support angel—except the one in the car doesn't work because Aziraphale's not going to be made to feel too lame to be Crowley's type, pfft. He's confident by this point that he very much *is* Crowley's type, even if they haven't acknowledged it.

Secondly: IMO, one of the funnest things about shipping Aziraphale and Crowley is how versatile they are. The only thing for certain is they, against all odds, have become each other's most important person. What exactly that means is pretty open to interpretation. All that to say, if you think they're Ace or even Aro, absolutely rock on!

I have a great appreciation for how Neil keeps emphasizing that canon is only whatever's "on the page," (or on the screen, in this case), and whatever he or anyone else might say outside of that technically doesn't count. He and Terry wrote these characters, but ultimately, they aren't real people with a real tangible history. The gaps in canon are free real estate for the viewers to respond to and mentally fill in.

There seems to be nothing in canon that says either of them have kissed anyone before—or that they haven't. Sex is always going to be part of shipping culture in one way or another, but just because someone might interpret Shax's statement to mean that Crowley's had lovers before doesn't mean you're not just as free to believe that was their first kiss with anyone ever. Even if interpretations contradict, both are technically headcanon and can be equally valid until something in the show itself says otherwise. Have fun!

[Personally: I love Ace AC! It's actually my interpretation of canon. I'm also on team "neither had ever kissed anyone" because that just feels like it makes sense, both for their characters and frankly that's how it feels like David and Michael acted it (those two men know how to kiss, if they wanted it to feel like something other than 'desperately attempting something both of them had only seen before' they would have).

But reading fics where they're *not* that can be fun too, even if I personally don't think they were actually making out just offscreen this whole time. I've read and enjoyed fics I thought were blatantly out of character, but still told me a good story. And man, I will never forget feeling like an absolute king on AO3 in the months after I watched s1, putting in whatever combination of tags I was in the mood for and finding piles of gold.]

[khaleesiofalicante]

Firstly, thank u for sharing stuff about yourself. I did wonder a lot what u studied and I'm glad that mystery got solved. Were you a little disappointed in realising that there was math in your field as well?

( Also a little out of topic , I know u dont like math, but can i make a case for it by saying that the reason math gets a bad rep is that it feels like u either get it or you dont. But once u kinda realise that math is like this one thing that is consistent. Like there are some absolute truths in here that wont change whether youre in space or earth , or youre an ant or a human. Those truths can lead to relations , now. I know its disappointinhg , frustating and agitating when u cant find the relationship you need for some particular question. But u can still try and find a relation, what u may end up with maybe not the relation u need but its still correct. You did find another truth , it maybe just wasnt one you needed at the moment. Math is beautiful like that , its like a prism that u can look at from all angles, sure the rainbow might come out under specific circumstances but its still a bloody cool shape and form. I hope this atleast makes you and maybe anyone else think of math in a little different way. )

Also you're the youngest that breaks a lot of my younger siblings stereotypes as well. It's so cute you're all earthy , would be so in character if your horoscope was a earth sign too. I love ur weird obsession with the number 21 .

I will take a chance to tell you sth about me as well for no reason other than u said it's okay to.

- I'm the oldest in my family, extended family as well.

- My name means a little brook or lake in my native language .

- I was the head girl of my school and my first and only high-school boyfriend was the head boy.( who i initially hated)

- i used to be really scared of darkness and ghosts and now i have learnt to live with them both .

- my favorite fruit ever is cherries.

- my life mantra is live and let live but sometimes people misconstrue it as i don't care , which isn't true and i hope people i love know that.

- im very very close to my family and will fight anyone who disrespects them.

- You're my first parasocial relationship that i am a little too into. I'm usually very private about my fanfiction interest so the first time i told my then boyfriend about how much i loved u , he was a little scared of my groupie behavior and told me to not be stan from the eminem song which made me a little scared of how i might be coming off. But u truly inspire me and my mom sends u wishes as well. ( the mom bit was a recent one)

- I'm also a nerd fighter ( we are very pro nerds and fight world suck) which is just the community that John and hank green have online.

- if u ever visit where i lived ( rn it's london, ) i would die and faint .

- when u write ur book I'm gonna buy 20 of them . 4 for me , 10 to give away to my loved ones and 6 to give out to stranger on the street because people need u to in their lives.

First things first. I'm not bad at math, I just don't like it 😂 I'm a humanities girlie through and through so not having to write an essay answer irks me. What do you mean I have to fuck around with numbers and you'll grade me on that??? No thanks!

Also you're cute for defending math so much (Other Max much???)

I was indeed SHOOKETH to find out about math (or stats rather) when I did my degree. And it was for a whole semester too. Fuck them, seriously. Should've warned me. But I like research so it was okay I guess :(

I'm a fire sign, bebe!!!

Thank you for telling me about yourself!! (You didn't say your name though or what you'd like to called here!)

It's cute that your name is called little brook. Max's name means great stream 🥹🥹

HEAD GIRL AND HEAD BOY???? WHAT FANFIC-

I am proud to be your first parasocial fanfic author person. And thank you for the wishes from your mom! I love wishes from mothers hehe.

I've always wanted to visit London (just not high on the priority list right now). But my sister moved to England last year so I will def visit sometime soon at least to see her 🥺

Thank you for all the love! I am trying to find more time to think about my book. It's difficult when there are so many work tasks and fics to write about. I need another vacation for it hehe. But here is a tidbit, there is a character called Radio and he is the best boy!!

Sending love 💖💖💖

[itsmearia]

New to Arknights - IS3 beaten!

I love love love roguelikes/lites and Arknights having a mode was one of the selling points given to me by a friend to try the game out. Ever since I started playing I would throw on IS2 now and again and just see how far I could go - which was never very far because I had a newer roster and didn't really understand some of the more intricate strategies in the game. For example, even though it was explained to me early on it still took me a long time to truly understand how deployment order was a big deal and how placing the healer before the defender could save the healer 30 enemies from now.

I don't think I ever beat a mini boss in IS2 but I always enjoyed playing it. They recently brought out a new version called IS3 and I decided to give it a serious whirl this week because a.) I've gotten better at the game since I last tried IS2, b.) I've gotten a lot of good operators since then, and c.) I was able to beat a CC for the first time the other day so why not try and see what I can do with this one.

It started with a lot of failures but eventually I was able to beat the first boss and got real excited for a minute before I promptly got smashed in an encounter where I said "sure, I'll dance with you" and then had my corpse danced upon by a wall of giant summoner things that I mistakenly woke up. Progress though!

Then I had another good attempt past the first boss that ended when Texas Alter got the debuff where she'd get frozen for 15 seconds on deployment and uh, yeah that's real bad and I died on the next fight.

A handful of attempts later I actually made it to the final boss. I was doing well but the second phase of the boss just crushed me as I deployed my operators in too tight of a formation.

Today though! Today:

Along the way I got Tex Alter upgraded, Goldenglow upgraded (shout outs to my previous GG post, this cat is incredible!), ch'en upgraded, and Penance to compliment some snipers like my girls Bloopie and Kroos. They all combined to keep chipping away at the big jellyfish and it eventually went down.

It's a very fun game mode! I can't believe it's just there to play for free whenever I want without Sanity and even gives good rewards. If anyone else is newer to the game like I am and likes roguelikes then definitely check it out because the rush of winning it is great. Now I guess I have to figure out the deckbuilding game cause I haven't been able to beat that yet.

And I'll end this with a wonderful screenshot from the end with a relatable quote (which may be a spoiler, idk? I'll just pop it under the keep reading thing just in case):

[eldritch-queern-magicat]

It seems we really had picked up spiritual parasites or something. Because after Era had released the tension we've been holding onto for far too long, we really felt those psychological toxins like they were real on some nonphysical level of reality. He used our fire to burn them up and devour them. It was a bit like after a lifetime of being fed on, he said, “Hey, give that back.” Then he just took what they'd stolen back, and they were reduced to ashes. It wouldn't be the first time he technically just ate an entity, of course. He did that for a friend in real life before COVID, who had a quite nasty being attached and causing strife. He basically trapped the asshole in a disposable coffee cup, with the lid. And then it was magic blender time.

To be fair, we're an agnostic Christopagan at this point. We sometimes have to suspend our disbelief because we know ritual helps through, even if nothing else, at least the placebo effect. So we just roll with it, and Era was set on getting the asshole spirit gone asap. And yes, our friend in that situation felt better consistently afterwards. So whether anyone believes this or not, the real world effects can't be ignored.

The little parasites screamed the whole time he burned them to ashes that Saturday night. It was almost fun watching parasites realize this mortal host isn't going to just exorcise them and call it done. Though to be honest, I don't think I've ever heard of a living human outright devouring and digesting the nasties that attach to and feed on them. Let's call that part of being faekin/otherkin, plus that very bloody and absolutely terrifying childhood. And then I also come from a formerly strong line of hunters on Dad's side of the family. So we saw this as simply a case of eat or be eaten. And I really didn't want to allow them to go looking for someone or something else to feed on and hurt.

...Oh, right, we started getting into Soul Eater at one point after Mom died. That actually ñmight have had something to do with it. I wouldn't be shocked. Either way, we do this now when it comes to serious threats. But honestly, it's more of a last resort. We like to avoid it wherever possible, because it's really not a nice thing to do. It's actually sad for us, because that was another entity that existed. And now it's just gone, because it made itself too much of a threat within my vicinity.

And then suddenly, with the parasites gone, all the voices of paranoia we used to have to cope with were also just gone. Our mind has been so calm and quiet since Saturday night. We've finally managed to chill ourselves out and it feels amazing. Our attention span is starting to recover faster again. Because I spent a couple hours last night writing about the last few months in my little system journal. I wrote a lot of pages. And I had to stop and go to bed before I even got to the ask Era so excitedly wrote a whole several page essay for. It also got him to open up about our brainwashing on our Facebook account, where we have the most people we know from real life, including some family.

Honestly, we're too happy about the ask for words to really do it justice. When we finally figured out what we wanted this side blog to be, it was partially to help track our mental state. But we also hoped that if others found themselves here, that what we shared would also help them if they needed it. Getting that ask helped us in return because it made us realize exactly where we started versus where we are now. Hindsight is 20/20, after all.

Era spent about a day writing that essay. It was, in fact, several pages long in the Libre Office text document. None of us ever actually thought that posting about integrating through dronification would get very much interest or attention, since dronification is a very specific kind of kink. We knew it was an odd concept for healing to start with. Chalk it up to us always trying to think outside of the box, I guess. So honestly, we're kinda... I don't know the right word for it right now. But we feel so warm and fuzzy inside from it.

Remembering things is easy now, for those parts that are also the drone. It's really, actually not just completely shrouded in our mental fog anymore. We don't have to worry about amnesia between us. I was writing in the journal from more than just what I got after fusing with our introject of the original Lion-O (yeah, this is probably what prompted a lot of changes from my source). I was also writing from the book of memories we put back in order and rebound. It's really great to have everything we've gotten so far organized so neatly.

-Catra 🧨😻

[sweetestpopcorn]

Hi, Popcorn! I adore your fic - I really stumbled upon it at a time when there were barely any fics about our Realm's Delight and her prince. And those that existed, were written with a very cold and cruel Daemon that usually told her to her face that he never loved her. *yikes*

So I kept onto your fic dearly and I love the way they both grew and evolved. Rhaenyra is more mature and experienced, Daemon is a family man to the core who loves his wife and children dearly. They are the closest to canon I've ever read.

I also read your posts and what you said about the things the readers invent and can I just say that it's so damn true? I see all these metas about how Laena/or Nettles (it always alternates between them) was the one true love of his life, and I am simply... left to wonder where people came to these conclusions that they are presenting as undeniable facts?

I recently saw another "book purist" claiming that certainly "Rhaenyra and Daemon had no problem if one of them slept with someone else during their marriage", and that left me so confused?

Where is that even implied in the books? Did Daemon not saw Harwin as competition for Rhaenyra's love? A rival for her affection it was rumoured he got rid off? Which directly shows he was not a man willing to share Rhaenyra's love with anyone else?

Did Rhaenyra not had - if the rumours are true - that jealousy murderous moment when told of Nettles? Was she not described as a proud woman? Where did people even came to these ideas that Rhaenyra and Daemon were not possessive partners? Did they read some other book I don't know?

It's getting ridiculous and I am glad to see that there are people who stick to canon. I came to the conclusion that the couples these people preffer are practically unimportant and we know nothing on them, so they make things up to make them appear more than they were.

Whereas with Rhaenyra and Daemon we have so many things they did together, so many rumours and scandals and versions... You can tell that George himself loved them because he really was invested in their relationship, lol. (although he did make their relationship a little too tragic, but that's George for you, I guess)

Anyway, what do you think about these invented things that people claim are canon? I mean, why are they so invested in the other women but hate Rhaenyra so much? I suspect it has something to do with not being able to self-insert because she is not a Mary Sue. Though I could be wrong.

I'm sorry this turned out so long. I hope you have a wonderful day! And happy holidays! 🥰💜

Hi there sweet Anon 💜😊

Totally get what you mean, we all know what the dogma is in this fandom 🙄 - Daemon is a monster and an abuser unless he is with Laena and or Nettles, in that case he has a 180º personality shift because that is totally how humans work (say no one who knows the slight bit about Psychology *deep sigh*). In his defence though it's totally Rhaenyra's fault 'cause she's a b_tch *another deep breath*. This f_cking fandom I swear to the Seven.

"I recently saw another "book purist" claiming that certainly "Rhaenyra and Daemon had no problem if one of them slept with someone else during their marriage", and that left me so confused?" - OMG 😂👏🏻

Oh yes! I have seen a lot of so called "book purists" and people who will point the finger at others just spewing nonsense left and right taken not from the books, but from www.voicesinsidemyhead.com like... can people PLEASE stop mistaking the fanfiction they create in their heads and their own headcanons and actual things that go against canon for canon? That would be great! But again, we are all free to say anything which is why I always recommend that others don't believe me or person X, Y, or Z, but that they go to the direct source: the books - and see for themselves.

But more on this take for a while just so I can amuse myself. Yes, so let me get this straight:

-Daemon and Rhaenyra's "sexy open marriage" was so interesting that in 9 years (and prior to the Dance) all they did was have 2 sons, get pregnant again (when he was 48 and she 32 mind you), and kill Vaemond;

-Rhaenyra snaps when she hears about Nettles, wants to kill her and sends for Daemon;

-Daemon saw Harwin Strong as competition for Rhaenyra's affections and was happy to get rid of him -> this is according to both Mushroom and Eustace, k besties?

-Rhaenyra gets pregnant not long after Laenor dies but no one even so much as mention the possibility that the kid was not Daemon. Like from the start everyone just knew it was his;

-She is shown to be completely obsessed with Daemon since she was a child only ever looking at other men when he was not around;

-Daemon likes innocent girls;

And someone's take from this is that they didn't mind that the other had other partners.

I don't even know what to say at this point.

Source: voices inside the mind of the "book purist"'s head

Honestly most of the time I think people are just trying to fit their own narratives, or likely trying to live out their desires through these characters.

Back in the day they usually did it through characters like Laena and kind of just used her as a self-insert, which was super easy to do because she is not given a proper personality in the books. With Rhaenyra it's a lot harder because she does have a personality, very strong one actually, but the occasional person will do this with her as well.

I personally don't like self-insert stories, and I have spoken about my dislike of OCs (though I do find myself forced to use them *BIG SIGH*), but like baby girls you do you, just don't mistake it for canon and kindly don't spread misinformation, that's redacted's job *wink.

With Rhaenyra I also feel that mainly (at least back in the day when I wasted time reading posts) you have a majority of two types of people who write metas, fanfics etc about her:

-You have people who hate her -> either because she's not your robot sort of character and actually has a will of her own, feelings, makes mistakes or because she was a b_tch to Daemon and poor Daemon just had to put up with her and how dare she not be his personal s#x doll/servant?! And look at all the mistakes she did during the Dance and how perfect Daemon was?! Doesn't she know she is inferior to him and a woman?! How dare she?!

-And then you have the people who claim to like Rhaenyra but turn her into a sociopathic Lolita (YeY fEmInIsM) that honestly feels like they’re are living their fantasies through her, and lament how she never learned to fight with a sword.

I don't know. I got nothing else, and this is already too long 😅

Anyway, thank you for your very lovely words and happy holidays <3 and of course, thanks for reading and for following my story for so long! ❤️

[elwenyere]

fic ask meem:

💋 👁👀

Thank you so much for the asks, friend!!! (Questions are from this ask meme.)

💋do you have any guilty pleasure ships that you really want to write for but are scared to?

There are many ships I love to read but have never written, but in terms of ships I'd be scared to write... I think it's more often the case for me that either a scene for a ship grabs me by the throat and starts using my brain to do table reads and run dress rehearsals or it doesn't, and I don't really feel like I have much control over which way it goes.

👁 have you ever accidentally foreshadowed something you fully didn't intend to happen?

I feel like this happens to me with almost every fic I write on at least some level, because I am always discovering the shape of the plot as I write (I never have every step figured out in advance, and sometimes I only have one or two figured out when I start drafting). This often happens with character motivations: I realize there's another compelling reason why character z is reacting in x way, and at the same time I realize I've already been staging that reason without having consciously formulated it.

I think the most plotty way it's ever happened is with a Sambucky fic called "With Shadows as with Solid Things," which started as a little "huddling for warmth" scene, turned into a soul stone fic for aesthetic reasons (I had some ideas about weird environmental fuckery I wanted to play with), and for which the narrative explanation (like, why were they in the soul stone?) only became clear to me late in the game, though I realized I had already put the details in place for the explanation to work.

Side note: when I'm stuck on figuring out a part of my plot, one trick I've found actually does help me is to just bring in a character who likes to 'splain things to people and give them a narrative reason to start 'splaining the plot to another character. It sometimes feels like the characters know before I do.

👀what's a fic written by someone else that you REALLY wish you wrote yourself?

Oh wow, I could write such a long list here: there are so many styles and genres of fic I love to read and can't write myself. One type of fic that is not at all my strength (but that I adore) is a cleverly textured multi-chapter AU, where the worldbuilding in the AU not only fits with the canon elements but amplifies them and brings out new notes and layers in the source material's plot and characterization. Your gorgeous "the size of the fight in the dog" is a terrific example of that, though I can't really wish anyone but you had written it.

Thank you so much for the asks, Naja!!!

[demonsfate]

i think the reason i prefer dj being his own person rather than just jin but "corrupted" or an "alternate personality" is that it's a very fascinating story to be told with that. i guess the thing is - the character but corrupted is a story that's told often (see fellow fighting games street fighter and mortal kombat) and Good Guy but with an Unsuspecting Killer alt Personality is also an overused trope. (see twisted metal, elfen lied, danganronpa, etc. etc.)

there are also many stories about being possessed or having a parasite. but what about a story where we get to know the parasite and how it works? rather than just being a practical tool as a "demon" - we get to know it personally. that both the parasite, and the host are two very important parts of the story - not only the host is the character, and the parasite is simply a tool to tell the story of the host. it's fascinating to look at the parasite as another actual living creature. even if it works differently than its host because it's not human.

it also brings up the idea of how two people would behave if they are forced to share a body. it's an unpleasant reality to think that you may never have privacy because there's always someone around. but worse, it's someone you actively hate - who is essentially your enemy. yet at the same time... that person is always there. that means even when you're lonely or upset, you have someone there. therefore, it brings up mixed feelings. perhaps a bit of stockholm syndrome. you hate this person. they hate you. but you're always there for each other, you know each other more than anyone else will ever. enemies who are the closest to each other.

then the 2017 comics also depicted jin and dj very interestingly. instead of doing the whole "dj is just powers jin can't control" like blood vengeance did - it does show dj as different from jin. it shows a relationship that can be toxic and manipulative, but without it being romantic, or even familial. it shows a case how you can get trapped in a toxic relationship without it being any of the aforementioned two subjects. which is a very real, but a bit unique take on it.

like there's just so much here to write about and focus rather than "ohhh what if this person DIDN'T have any morals? well! they have an alt personality for that!" no. i don't think jin would ever be dj - even if he did discard his morals. he wouldn't act like dj even then. imo, they are completely different characters who only share the same body. it's tk5 that may make ppl believe that jin and dj are the same due to dj's monologue in the story mode. however, tk6 and tk7 seems to hammer in the idea that they are separate people. which make more sense than the possible thing tk5 was going with since as i've pointed out before, devil kaz has directly spoke to kaz before, and they've interacted like they were separate people. why wouldn't jin and dj be the same? harada has called dj a "split personality" from jin before - buuuuut. english isn't his native language, and he doesn't speak it much. so it could be that he meant persona / person / character but that bit got lost in translation. (especially as he apparently once tried to come up with a unique name for DJ, but actually went with devil jin because he realized it was a pun, as when the name is pronounced in english, it sounds like Devil Gene - which is what jin suffers with.)

anyways, i just really love this dynamic and find it sooo interesting to write. i love both jin and dj and find them to be compelling characters both in and out of their relationship. and it's why i do write them the way i do! i don't see them as the same, and honestly? i don't think i'll ever. i don't think dj's actions affect jin, and i don't think jin's actions affect dj.

[thepatronsaintoffilth]

All the horror movie asks!!

let's gooooooooo!

Scream: Choose one: Phone sex, video call, or sexting?

I'll be boring and say sexting - I am a writer after all, so I'll play to my strengths.

Phone sex ... God, I haven't phone-boned since I was a teenager 🤣 and I'm too risk averse to risk a video call, like having a recording with my face or body and the thought of that falling into the wrong hands just ... no.

Nightmare on Elm Street: Are you into somnophilia?

To a concerning degree, YES. Very much so.

The Craft: Are you more dominant or submissive? Would you/have you ever done the opposite?

As a switch, I've played both sides. As to which way I lean more ... that's tough to decide. If this had been a few years ago, I would have said I was more sub-leaning. Now though? I definitely lean more into my dominance. It's usually a case by case thing for me, especially if I'm across from another switch (always a good time)

Poltergeist: What was the last sex toy you bought? The first? If you don’t own one and want to, what would you buy?

The last one I bought were my nipple clamps, and the first? Wow, this is going back decades, I think the first sex toy I ever bought was literally when I turned 18 and it was the cheapest, most basic ass vibe - like picture a cheap prop vibrator in a dumb stoner comedy, that's what I bought before I clit-suckers were where its at

It Follows: Talk about a time you got horny when you were somewhere you shouldn’t be horny (ie. school, work, etc.)

Damn, I feel like this happens every day, so ... but actually the time I'm thinking of is when I was smoking weed (back when I used to smoke) with my cousins and I got so horny from the weed that I had to leave the whole smoke sesh to get myself sorted out.

Like I legit just bounced, vanished without saying a word to anyone. I remember them asking the next day "where tf did you go?? you just ran off" and I was like ".... don't worry about it"

Rocky Horror Picture Show: Fishnets or thigh highs? On you or a partner?

Ah, damn, don't make me choooooose! Both and both. Though for a seasonal pick, fishnets for spring and summer, thigh highs for fall and winter.

Trick ‘R Treat: Do you like to roleplay in bed? What’s your favorite scene or character to act out?

I LIVE for roleplay. Tough to pick my favorite scene or character, but being an "unwilling" test subject is high on my list recently.

IT: What is your ultimate fantasy? Describe it in detail.

oh, shit here we go

uh

well

... you know the [redacted] of [redacted] and [redacted], right? It's kinda like that, but with a LOT more anal.

yeah I'm chickening out

Dracula: Do you like receiving/giving hickies?

I love giving hickies. As for receiving, it's been so long, I've forgotten what it feels like (lol rip me)

Anyone wanna help me with that? Jog my memory?

Anyone?

V/H/S: If you watch porn, what type is your favorite?

I'm a self-professed connoisseur of facefuck vids. Deepthroat and facial vids make up an embarrassing percentage of my collection

The Shining: Would you prefer to have sex in a hotel or at home?

Tough call, but I'll say hotel. Hotel sex hits SO different. Not better, but different.

Friday the 13th: Do you like shower sex? If you haven’t tried it, would you?

I think I would like shower sex, but the last time I tried, it was with an idiot who tried to use body wash like it was lube. So we didn't even get to do it because I gave them a lengthy lecture about vaginal health and how soap Doesn't Go In There.

Yes, we were still in the shower the whole time.

Did that even answer the question?? God, I hope so. MOVING ON -

Pet Semetary: Are you into pet play? Do you prefer being a kitten, puppy, or something else?

I love pet play. I prefer being a bunny. Puppy is a close second.

Carrie: What is your most embarrassing sex/masturbation story? Have you ever been caught?

NOPE

The Witch: Do you like dirty talk? What’s the most attractive thing someone has said to you in bed?

Dirty talk is my forever jam. I think the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me was .... something I can't share, actually. I mean, I could, but it was very context-heavy in terms of what it did to me.

The Human Centipede: Do you own any butt plugs? Have you ever worn them in public?

Not yet and no, I haven't, can't wait to do both at some point in the near future.

The Purge: Do you like foreplay? What is your favorite foreplay activity?

Foreplay is coreplay, it makes up the bulk of the act of sex itself. Then again, I've known how to make myself cum in the shortest amount of time possible since I was like 15, so I have been known to "rush to the good part" lol.

My favorite foreplay activity is hard to isolate, but if I had to describe it, I'd say its all the clothed parts? The kissing and rubbing and squeezing over the clothes stuff. When the breathing gets heavy and right when it gets too hot to bear keeping the clothes on.

That's the part I like.

Halloween: Are you into bodily fluids (ie. blood, scat, piss, etc.)? Which one(s)?

I have the slightest teeniest tiniest hint of a piss kink developing recently

The Evil Dead: What’s something you fantasize about that you’d never actually act on?

I waver on this, but I would say my love of abduction play. I'm absolutely down to enact a scenario with all the trimmings but ... there is part of me that worries something could go wrong.

Like someone could see me "being abducted" and call the cops and make a big stink about it that ends up on the news and getting back to my family. Or the trunk I'm in might be too hot and i could have another stroke. Or maybe the person I'm playing with just takes the opportunity to fuck me and then kill me for real and dump me in the woods with all the tools I thought were props for our play.

Now ... having said all that ...

I still want to do it, but ... it really depends on when I really have the opportunity. I'll need to wait until then to see whether I'm willing to take it or if it's just a fantasy.

Cabin in the Woods: Have you ever made a sex tape? Would you?

I'm too risk averse to allow someone to record me. The one time that I did let someone take video of me, I let them enjoy it for about 5 minutes before I made them delete it in front of me.

Fright Night: Have you ever used random objects to masturbate with? If so, what were they?

I'm not into object insertion, actually. I didn't realize that until I had to filter that tag on here XD

Jennifer’s Body: Are you into pain play? To what extent? Giving, receiving, or both?

Giving and receiving, for sure. At to extent, it varies, but even my upper limit is pretty mild. I have quite a few hard kinks, but pain doesn't usu factor into it, at least not heavily.

The Purge: Do you like wearing lingerie? What item of clothing turns you on the most to wear/have someone else wear?

I never seem to have much luck with lingerie - wearing it anyway. I'm kind of basic in my tastes, I prefer to be nude. That's me though. On someone else? I ADORE lingerie. I'm partial to vintage pieces like garters and stockings with seams, things like that.

The Blair Witch Project: Have you ever had sex outside? Would you? Where?

I've had a lot of sex outside lol and I can't wait to do it again.

The Conjuring: What’s the best position to be spanked/spank someone? Paddle, whip, or hand?

OTK, all the way, baby. And I favor the hand, with paddle as a very close second.

The Ring: Have you tried hypnosis? Would you?

I have not tried it! But I definitely have a slight hypno kink. I love reading about it, smut or otherwise. And I would definitely give it a shot, but if I were to get really into it, it would likely just be self-hypnosis.

Saw: Confess a kink in detail that you haven’t told anyone.

I can't think of one, but by tomorrow? Who knows? I seem to develop new interests every other day.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Are you embarrassed by any kinks or fetishes you have? What are they?

I think being embarrassed is actually one of my kinks, so ... lol I'm only half-kidding, but yeah, I do have a few I'm a little shy about. Like I think I might (MIGHT) have a piss kink, haven't actually given it a shot but it does come up in my browser from time to time

[hawkebegins]

Hindsight part 2

Aaron Hotchner x prosecutor! reader

Summary: Reader goes missing and hotch races against the clock to find them before it’s too late.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Death, Kidnapping, violence

This one is written in hotch’s pov.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Hotch?” I look up from my desk seeing JJ looking at me with a look of concern.

“Yeah JJ?” She sighs before reminding me that there's a briefing in 5 minutes. “Thanks JJ I’ll be there in a second” She walks out of my office with a concerned look.

I don't know what it is about today but I've been off all day. There's just something not right I've learned over the years to trust that instinct.

“D.C police have called us in on a kidnapping, it happened last night around 11, their boss came over around 11:30 to pick up some case files but when he arrived the victims place was a wreck, the door was left wide open and there was blood on the floor near the kitchen table.” JJ states but she's holding something back, she never says victim she always states the name.

“Why are we being called in on a kidnapping that seems as far as I can see that its an isolated incident” I ask cautiously.

“The victim is a D.C ADA who handles the biggest cases, and the most prolific cases.” I feel my heart stop before I can respond I hear Blake talking,“Whos the victim?” she must have caught on that JJ didn't say the victim's name. My brain is racing with alternative scenarios, it could be someone else there are plenty of D.C ADAS. I feel JJ hesitating so I interject, “JJ whos the victim come on we all know the stats on kidnappings we don't have time to be wasting right now.”

She sighs before responding, “the victim is ADA l/n…its y/n Hotch” I can feel the eyes of the team on me but I brush it off acting as if I’m unphased.

“Alright you guys know the stats on finding kidnapping victims alive let alone the stats of government employees lets go, JJ you'll stay back with Garcia and help her in any way she needs. Rest of us let’s go, I want to be in D.C by noon.

I've never driven as fast as I was driving to D.C, I know the team is walking on eggshells around me. Usually we would be going over theories and victimology but they haven't said a word. They don't understand that I’m fine, I just need them to be okay.

We arrived in D.C within about 45 minutes of leaving Quantico thanks to my speeding and the sirens. We get there and I automatically head to y/n apartment, the one i've been to countless times and it looks nothing like how i'm used to.

This apartment is a mess, their law books are scattered everywhere, not clean and organized like it usually is.

This unsub is unorganized but also organized enough to know when y/n would be home alone and not with anyone, that means most likely this unsub was stalking y/n for a while. A few weeks maybe. I think to myself before I notice Rossi looking at me I walk over to him and harshly ask him why he's staring at me instead of working to find y/n.

“Aaron the team and I are concerned you're too close to this, that you're letting your emotions cloud your judgment.” I scoff rolling my eyes, “I’m not too close to this, y/n and I are nothing, just old friends. That's all there's no emotion clouding my judgment but regardless of that we need to find them. This isn't up for debate Dave, what did you and Reid find?” He looks at me in shock, with good reason I usually can keep my cool.

“We found more blood, there is a sign of a struggle in their bedroom and that looks to be where the struggle started, I think he was here waiting for them to come home.”

This can't be happening, this can not be happening. Not again. I can't lose another person this way.

Aaron come on baby let's go to that park they're having an art festival it might be fun!”

I laugh at them because for a lawyer they are the most spontaneous person I have ever met in my life.

“Aaron? Aaron?”

“Aaron!” I jerk myself awake and look up to see Rossi and Morgan looking at me concerned.

“Yeah hey guys sorry what do you have?” I see pity cross their features. I stand up stretching my legs. “Guys what do you have? Do we have any leads?” Morgan gives Rossi a look before clearing his throat, “yeah Garcia and JJ found something on the security cameras in y/n apartment building and you know them the best do you recognize this guy?” They show me a picture of a guy who looks a lot like a guy they work with who I’ve been to dinner with on multiple occasions. “Uhm yeah he works with y/n I think their name is Liam…wait are you telling me that the guy who took y/n is this guy?” Rossi gives a quick yes and then asks why i'm so shocked at this but I don't answer. Okay I know his wife I’m gonna go talk to her. Can you guys go talk to CSU to see if they've processed the fingerprints we found at the scene.” Before they can answer I’m already gone.

I arrived at Liam’s family home. I take a breath because I need to keep my cool. I knocked on the door waiting for someone to answer, and when the door opened there was a conversation that I wasn't ready for waiting on the other side of the door.

“Agent Hotchner? What are you doing here- oh i'm sorry did you and Liam have plans of some sort?” I sigh because this woman was too good for the scum that is her husband.

“No, Mrs.Dean we need to talk, may I come in?” She looks uneasy but not surprised.

“Is this about y/n, because I haven't seen them? ” I'm confused because how does she know that y/n is missing? It hasn't been in the news for fear that the unsub would see it and rush to kill y/n.

“Mrs.Dean how do you know about y/n missing that hasn't been in the news at all.” She looks at me with doubt and anger cross her face before she admits that Liam told her about it. Anger consumes because y/n trusted him.

“Does he have any other properties or remote places he ever goes to?” She doesn't hesitate telling me where he could be. I rush out the door with a quick goodbye.

“Garcia I need you to tell the team to meet me at Barnaby Woods Liam has a cabin there thats where he's holding y/n” before she can respond I hang up rushing into the woods there's only one place where his cabin could be i'm running from the SUV when I hear a scream; a scream I recognize as y/n’s. I run in, I know I should've waited for the team but by the time they get here y/n could be dead. I kick down the door holding up my gun, my eyes searching for any sign of them. As soon as my eyes land on the kitchen I rush in holding my gun up. When my eyes land on the scene in front of me I feel like throwing up, this can't be happening. Liam is on top of y/n with a gun to their head. I try and ignore the feeling in my stomach, “Liam put down the gun so we can talk.”

He just laughs before retorting,”talk? You think I want to talk to you? No, see here's what's gonna happen you are gonna take your happy ass out of here and let me and y/n have some more fun”

Then he does something that makes me want to kill him right there on the spot but I know that wouldn’t help anything. He kisses them, I guess I got visibly angry because he laughs before starting to talk again.” Oh I’m sorry, kissing them makes you angry, but I have to ask why you don't love them Aaron.” I scoff and that only entices him more to taunt me while holding a gun to y/n’s head.

“Am I wrong? They were getting threats, and so were you and they didn't tell you about it because they were trying to protect you. They were destroying themselves because they wanted to protect you, and you repaid them by abandoning them when they needed you most.”

Look I learned a long time ago to not take anything that an unsub says to heart but in this instance he's right. I left y/n when they needed me the most and that's something that I’ll regret for the rest of my life and I'll be spending my life trying to make it up to them.

“Liam you're right, I wasn't there for y/n when they needed me, and they should hate me bu-”

“Aaron stop thats not tr-”

“SHUT UP SLUT” I hear Liam scream at y/n and then he looks at me with nothing but rage in his eyes.

“This is all your fault, Agent. If you hadn't come along I would have been with y/n, they would have been safe.” I look at him in shock. In all of my emotions I never stopped to think why he would do this but in this moment it's crystal clear, he's in love with them.

“Liam I know it's my fault, you and y/n could have had an amazing life together and I got in the way of that.”

He gets this look on his face that terrifies me, I've seen my fair share of crazy but this terrifies me in a different way maybe because i'm scared of what that means for y/n they could die at any moment and it would be my fault because I set Liam off and if I could I would switch places with them in a heartbeat.

“It's your fault that we didn't have the life that we deserved. But don't worry you'll pay for that.”

Before I can respond y/n grabs Liam's hand and starts talking to them. I make out the end of what they are saying and in that moment my heart breaks all over again.

“I don't love him. Liam, we dont need to hurt him. I’m yours.”

Before anyone can respond y/n’s lips are on Liams and the next thing I know Liams gun is at my feet. I always knew that y/n was a genius but I never thought; especially in a situation like that they would be able to trick him like that. Before Liam notices what has happened I rush over to him and yank him off of y/n.

“Liam Dean you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney if you can't afford one an attorney will be appointed to you.” I read off his rights while arresting him while walking him outside where the team is just arriving. They look at me in confusion and shock.

“Get him out of here before I shoot him.” Is all that is said before I’m rushing back inside to check on y/n.

I walk in to see y/n sobbing sitting at the table. I rush over to them, not thinking I rest my hand on their shoulder and they jump slightly.

“Shit Aaron you scared me.”

“I’m sorry y/n” they look at me and try to cover up their hurt and plaster the fakest smile i've ever seen on them.

“It's all good, Hotch.”

Hotch

Damn that hurt a lot more than I would care to admit but I brush it off, “y/n come on let's get you to the hospital” this does not make them happy at all because all signs of them being “ fine” are gone and they get panicked.

“No, no please Im fine just take me home.” I sigh and look into their eyes seeing nothing but fear in them. “Fine but you're staying with me tonight just to make sure you're okay.”

They smile and that's all the thanks I get before they start walking out to the car.

FEW HOURS LATER

They seemed fine, or as fine as you can be. Dinner was silent, I was exceptionally worried about them because they never stop talking. Regardless I leave it alone because I know that they have gone through a lot in the past 24 hours. I let her take the bedroom after the day they've had. They deserved a good sleep and I needed to get some paperwork done anyways. It was about 2 am when I finally finished all my work. I was heading to bed when I first heard it. It was y/n, screaming.

I ran into the bedroom to see them sobbing and screaming,but they were still asleep. I rushed over to them, shaking them awake,doing anything to wake them up;that was a mistake.

They jump awake gasping for air. They look extremely panicked and when their eyes land on me they start sobbing. My first instinct is to hold them but I stop myself. I don't want to make things worse so I just start talking.

“y/n i need you to breathe for me okay? it was a nightmare but you’re okay i promise. Everything is okay.”

Unfortunately nothing I'm saying is getting through to them so I continue, “Hey, listen to me. You’re safe. Nothing is going to hurt you. I’m here with you okay?” They look at me and slowly start inching closer to me before I know it they’re hugging me and sobbing into my chest.

“shhh y/n it’s okay just let it out”

“I’m sorry” I look at them confused because what could they possibly be apologizing for, I’m the one who should be apologizing.

“For what love you did nothing wrong”.

They look at me with tears forming in their eyes, “I did though, I lied to you for months. I dragged you into my mess of a life.”

I sigh because I figured this conversation would come up sooner or later. “y/n listen to me, you lied to me yes but you were trying to protect me. I’m sorry for how I reacted. I know you only did it to protect me. I love you y/n. You are the light of my life. I only ever want you safe, when you are gone I was so scared that by the time we found you it would have been too late and that the last thing you would have heard me say was goodbye, not i love you not you make me happy. I am so sorry y/n.” But they don’t say anything they kiss me before whispering “i love you aaron hotchner” i smile before kissing them and responding with “and i love you y/n l/n”

[its-not-a-phase-mom-i-d8-demons]

"Are you just using me for my body?" feat. Asmodeus

pairing: Asmodeus x Female!Reader

warnings: mentions of smut, distrust, mentions of cheating

A/N: this got REALLy emotional...

Being the Avatar of Lust and all, Asmodeus couldn't help but have desires outside his absolute adoration of you and you alone; other than himself that is.

He was so sweet all the time, never once forced you to do anything with him, and waited patiently until you knew you were ready.

You loved Asmodeus with your whole heart and had confidence that he wouldn't cheat on you.

Asmodeus was many things, but a liar was not one of them.

Until now, it had been especially hard to keep a steady relationship with his desires rampant and constantly filling up his mind. Ever since he started to get to know you and realize his feelings for you, he stopped sleeping around as much until it came to a complete halt.

He really wanted to be with you, he realized, and he'd give up anything if only it meant he could spend every minute you were here with him.

Here you were, completely in tune and comfortable with each other, but come comments from demons at school today had flooded you with doubt.

You hated yourself for mistrusting your best friend and boyfriend, especially after working so hard to get where you are.

That thought alone makes you burst into tears.

Asmo, who was snuggling happily against your chest, had noticed something off about you and decided against asking if you wanted to fuck. He simply pulled you into bed with him, shared a kiss with you, and planted his face on your pillowy chest, hands caressing your sides oh so gently.

You were so pretty...

What was he going to do with you?

He should see what was the matter.

Maybe it was a test coming up, or an unfinished homework assignment, possibly a teacher being rude to you again, but worrying causes wrinkles! With or without them you would continue to be divine, but still!

At that moment, he heard a choked sob slip past your lips.

Worried, he regrettably peeled himself off of you and saw that you were hiccupping into your hand, trying to stop yourself from crying and making a mess of yourself and Asmo's bed.

"Oh, sweetie..." Asmo murmured, pulling you into his lap, "You can go ahead and cry, don't hold it in like this!"

With his permission, you start crying like a baby into his shoulder.

He held your head, pressing kisses to your temple and rocking you gently from side to side.

"Oh, baby..." He whispers, patting your back, "You have to tell me when you're feeling bad... Don't bottle everything up."

You sob an 'I'm sorry', but Asmodeus wouldn't hear it.

"Don't you dare apologize for crying. I'm right here for you, always. Okay?"

That only made you cry harder.

'Worried' could describe Asmo when he first gathered you into his arms. 'Panicking' is how the demon was feeling when you refused to stop sobbing into his shoulder.

Something was seriously wrong and he needed to get to the bottom of it before it became difficult for you to breathe and you got even more panicked.

"Baby, hey, look at me sweetheart," He murmurs, lifting your head up to face him, "You've gotta stop crying, okay? Can you try and calm down for me? I know you can do it, just take deep breaths for me, kay?"

You wiped your eyes on your sleeves way too harshly for his liking, and he grasped your wrists and put them in your lap.

"Inhale with me, come on sweets, you can do it."

You try to inhale, but your lips trembles and you can't help but let out another sob or two, covering your face in your hand, muttering apologies and trembling.

Asmodeus tried again, pulling your hands down and holding his face in his hands, showing you how to take deep breaths and holding your gaze and refusing to let it go.

"Yes, good job!" He smiled rubbing your lower back when you began mimicking his example, "I knew you could do it, hey, don't stop yet honey, you're really wound up..."

You pull your eyes away from his with great effort as it was unbearable to stare into those earnest sunset eyes any longer.

You were repulsed at the thoughts clouding your mind.

How could you call yourself a good girlfriend? You were terrible really, doubting the man you called your boyfriend and lover the moment the shadow of jealousy turned into a rumor.

You apologized again, gripping his hand tightly.

"What did I say?" He says gently, patting your thigh, "No apologies for showing emotion. Got it?"

You nod mutely.

"Asmo?"

"Yes baby?"

"Are you... Are you just using me for my body?"

You felt him stiffen.

Tears flooded your eyes again, dripping into your lap before you could stop them.

Asmo opened his mouth, then shut it again.

Of... Of course, he wasn't... He didn't need anyone else, only you.

Why didn't you trust him?

All these months of bonding behind closed doors, Asmodeus fighting his sin so vehemently he forgot who 'Asmodeus' really was, and hours upon hours of just thinking about how beautiful you were and that you deserved better than him. He had just begun to believe that maybe, just maybe he was worthy of your limitless affection, but it was not so.

You... You never trusted him in the first place, did you?

"A-Asmo I know what you're thinking and I'm sorry-"

"No apologies." He whispered airily, eyes locked on a singular rose, one of many that had wound their way up the bedpost.

The response was empty of emotion, as was Asmodeus's face.

"Oh Asmo, you've always been so good to me. I know you'd never cheat on me after going through so much pain-"

"Who said it?"

"Wha-"

"WHO SAID IT?" Asmodeus had flashed into his demon form, angry tears spilling from his eyes as he stood in front of you, exuding rage, hatred, and most of all, despair.

Out of everything he was feeling at the moment, none of those potent emotions were aimed at you.

"YOU'RE TOO PERFECT TO COME UP WITH THAT IDEA ON YOUR OWN." He screeched, "YOU KNOW I'D NEVER BETRAY ANYONE I LOVE, WHAT DEMON IS SPREADING BULLSHIT ABOUT ME AND COSTING ME YOUR TRUST?"

You were terrified, staring up at the enraged demon, tears soaking your cheeks once again, "Asmo, please! Calm down! You're above them!"

Mascara tears lined his cheeks, and he was just about to shout something else at you, but the door to his room was suddenly blown off its hinges, giving way to six more demons with their horns out, Lucifer in the lead.

He looked absolutely livid, especially after seeing the state you were in.

Asmodeus had the nerve to shout at you? Under any circumstance?

Not in the least.

"Stop this at once, Asmodeus!" He growled, standing his ground in front of you, "Any reason you have to be angry at MC can be taken up to me! Control yourself!"

"Lucifer stop!" You plead, "Don't yell at him like that-"

"Quiet, MC." He hissed, "You need to get out of here. He's too high-strung at the moment. He needs to be alone."

The larger demon grabbed you by the arm and started pulling you out of the room, but you fought against him, punching and crying and yelling at him to let go.

Mammon tried to step in and explain that Lucifer was "jus' tryna keep ya safe!" but you weren't having it and slugged him in the nose.

He screeched as blood started pouring out of his face, Lucifer loosened his grip when he heard his brother in pain he hadn't caused and you managed to tug your limb away from him and rush to your boyfriend who had collapsed onto the floor, face in his hands and sobbing.

His wings and horns were gone, but you wouldn't have cared either way as you tackled him in a hug and refused to let go.

Asmodeus latched onto you as well, and the brothers knew there was nothing they could do about it.

Lucifer pulled Mammon away to fix his bloody and possibly broken nose, and the others stood at the ready outside the door in case something else went wrong.

For a long time, you and the Avatar of Lust simply lay in each other's arms and cried.

It felt good to comfort and be comforted.

After a few hours, both of you were dried up, holding hands and staring sadly at the ceiling.

Asmodeus spoke first.

"Do you... Do you really think I've been using you for your beautiful body all this time? I'm not accusing you of anything, I need to know."

His voice was hoarse and quiet; tentative almost.

"I never thought that, Asmodeus. I the human world, there were some bad guys I was with and I guess I was prepared to accept it if you were. You've changed vastly since I first met you and you're nothing like those swine up there." You whispered, squeezing his hand before turning to look at him, "It was a stressful week and then, on top of that, I heard some demons talking about you so I stopped to listen. They were saying such terrible things about you; how you cheat on me every chance you got, you're just using me as an exotic fleshlight, and shit like that. We... We haven't had sex in a while so I just wondered if you'd gotten tired of me. Then, when we were cuddling, I just couldn't push those thoughts out of my head and I couldn't stop myself from crying..."

Asmodeus nursed at his lower lip, scooting closer to you, suddenly cold.

"I could never grow tired of you, MC. You have and continue to inspire me to be better for you and myself. I actually..." He giggled sweetly, resting his forehead against your own, "I was gonna ask if you wanted to bang when you first came into my room. Sex really is the answer to everything, isn't it?"

You smile and shake your head, "Not now though, you need some dinner and some rest."

He pouts cutely, ticking your sides, but he knows you're right.

You snatch his hands away from you and kiss his knuckles, "I never meant to make you think of yourself any less, because you really are perfect, Asmo. No one has ever tried to make me happy like you do and willingly spent all of this time with me. You make me feel so loved... I don't know how to thank you. I just want you to know that I love you."

He's literally glowing at your words, wrapping you tightly in his arms and whispering, "I love you too MC. More than I could possibly say."

--

July 7th: TWO. MORE. DAYS!!! (for us VIP members)

could you imagine being loved that much?? holy FUCK. is my giant single pringle ass showing? is it too obvious I'm lonely?

the shit I write... it surprises ME sometimes

Countdown Masterlist

Main Masterlist