#anon who are you?? (don't actually answer if you aren't comfortable)

[drdtappreciation]

earlier today I was tearing up in the car, next to my family

I was blinking so fast, looking away trying to not properly burst out in tears in front of them

but when I thought about drdt and how comforting it is to me (the characters, the story, everything.) I stopped tearing up :)

^

[blumineck]

Your videos are so awesome! Question about pole dancing:

I'm a trans man, and before I transitioned I did some aerial silks and trapeze at a school near where I lived. Then I transitioned, moved, and after a few years have wanted to get back into something similar. There are plenty of pole places around my house, but they're heavily oriented towards women. One's even marketed for ONLY women. I feel really weird about trying to attend classes as a man. Any advice?

OK, this is a tricky one. As this is anon, I need to post publicly, so here's some context for passers-by:

Pole dance is a heavily female-dominated activity, and because it's also frequently sexualised (either by design or by association), and requires fairly revealing clothing, many women feel less comfortable in classes with men. Some studios might then attempt to foster a safer environment by excluding men altogether (and even if they don't, the vast majority of students are usually female anyway, so pictures on the website, etc rarely feature men even if there's no actual policy).

And I GET all that. But also, I feel like it's ok for men to want to do pole too. I was literally drawn to pole in the first place BECAUSE it defied traditional gender expectations. So here's my advice, to you and any other men who might want to start:

1) Ask. Drop the studio an email, see if they take male students. The way they respond will tell you a lot about whether this will be a safe/welcoming space for you. It might feel weird and scary, but they don't know you yet, and if their answer is off-putting, they never have to!

2) Be prepared to be in a minority. Even if the studio is welcoming, you are unlikely to be in a class with more than 1 or 2 other men (at most!) and reasonably likely to be the only one. You may find different moves easy/hard, and you may find it takes a little longer for other students to relax/open up around you. This can be hard for some men who aren't used to that dynamic, but it /is/ a predominantly feminine space, so it's worth being thoughtful in how you approach things.

I'm not saying this to put you or anyone else off! IME most studios are happy to take male students, and most students are reasonably open and welcoming, and once you get settled, you can have a lot of fun and make lots of friends. As long as you check in and make an effort, I absolutely recommend giving it a go!

[sqgeism]

Amphoreus men with reader who has insomnia? Maybe they have perpetual eye bags and can fall asleep literally anywhere but in bed

Hope you're doing well

𐙚 𓏵𓏵𓏵 𐙚 he'd stay and treat his lady | amphoreus men x gender neutral reader

💌     —      ; give everything to his new baby !  sleep is hard, or at least it has been on specifically your bed, as of recently. despite concerns raised by your boyfriend, he finds it a little funny. considering the fact that you've not only managed to fall asleep in the garden of your home, but some chimera's have somehow found you.

love mail — did i put 5 requests together.. yes... 5 birds with ONE STONE 🩷🩷 but they all had similar prompts so i just put 'em all together :3 sorry individual anons that you won't get the notif i answered !! i love u guys, thank you for requesting anonnies f(^ー^; ♡ please forgive my laziness i swear i'll lock in. ACTUALLY had to drink two mountain dews writing this bc i could not force myself to finish this within the day if i didnt

anaxa doesn't know what to do after he finds you asleep on top the coffee table, which is right in front of the very comfy couch you two bought.

he knows you and him are busy, the academy has been working the professors overtime recently and you teach multiple subjects to multiple classes, so it's no wonder you're practically restless. it's just.. he wishes you could sleep in bed again. when you do get the opportunity for shut eye, it'll always be somewhere stupid. his least favorite was on your desk, as being hunched over like that can have long lasting back pains as a consequence (trust him, he knows)

so when one night, expecting to see you on the counters or atop the fridge, anaxa's natural frown deepens at the realization you don't seem to be sleeping in any unconventional place. have you finally relearned the skill to sleep in bed again? nope.. not quite, since the sheets are flat and untouched.

where on amphoreus are you?

that's when his train of thought is interrupted by little chitters outside, *the garden?* animals aren't typically seen around your home, but he supposes that it isn't impossible. but that's also the one place he hasn't checked, and if he's a moment too late to you getting mauled by.. whatever's out there, anaxa doesn't feel like losing another eye in hopes to see a loved one. though something that makes such a cute noise can't be too harmful.

and as always, anaxa is almost never incorrect. because there you are, in all your genius, asleep in the middle of the freshly cut garden with.. chimera's around you?

the little things are slipping into your coat, or rubbing themselves against your sleeping body. they seemed to think you'd give them attention, but they were just helping you fall deeper into sleep. fluffy balls of sweetness acted like a warm blanket, and you stood no chance, even with your issues with sleep.

and here anaxa is, having to deal with your antics for the millionth time. but if it was an issue—he'd be complaining, and even if he does, you know he doesn't mean it. like this very moment; "you're so weird," the scholar grumbles under his breath, yet he's careful as he approaches, careful to not startle you or the chimeras. "—i can't believe i have to deal with you." while he takes off his coat and covers you, all while he slowly carries you into his lap on the grass, settling you down comfortably to lean against him. "and you're just.. the worst."

he says these things while you're now asleep on him, his arms securely around you and keeping you close to support your body. if you were awake, surely you'd be teasing him about how affectionate he's choosing to be at the moment. and it seems the chimera's have gotten comfy too, the colorful critters beginning to yawn as he runs his fingers through your hair.

he wants to think he hates you for distracting him from his greater goal, for softening him up. for making him afraid to lose again.

but he can't, not when you're here and you wear the ring that reminds him of his promise. his promise to love you for however long he has and for far longer past death. his prophecy is neverchanging, but so is his love. and his legacy after death will never be truly told if your name is not mentioned alongside his.

mydei gets it. honestly, he does. sleep doesn't come easy to any of them, but mydei knows you're not exactly a heir. you're mortal, and you need things that he doesn't quite understand but he tries to. when he began catching you still up long past 2am, whether your nose buried in a book or eating leftovers from dinner, it worries him. he tries to soothe you back to sleep, but nothing works. and he has to watch you walk out that door with clearly not enough energy to function.

and it's the same thing tonight, he's laying on the couch with a novel in hand as you walk over to him. the time? 12:48 am. mydei wants to hide his unpleased expression, but he's sure his eyes narrow and his brows furrow slightly, however they're quick to melt into a much more tender expression as you move between his legs to lay on his chest, huffing.

"i'm tired, mydei." your voice is weak, and you feel limp on top of him. it actually causes somewhat discomfort to the warrior for a moment, as the feeling of a body on top of him is not foreign.. unfortunately. "i wish i could sleep. i really.. really do."

your hands ball into fists out of frustration, a trembling breath escaping you. but large, careful hands go over yours. breaking down that fist as he intertwines his fingers between the gap of yours, a perfect fit, as your two hearts are. "i don't know how i can help, but if i can find something, i'll be sure to tell you as soon as possible."

his lips softly kiss your forehead. "but i'm here. every night, and day, just come to me when it's too much." then he kisses each of your eyelids, and to mydei's surprise.. they don't open after he moves away. and you've fallen asleep, after a week of restlessness, you're brought into a dream state from kisses.

the chrysos heir would laugh, but he chooses to let you rest, rubbing soothing circles to your back as he waits for day to come.

phainon.. oh.. phainon... he's been so worried about the whole thing. he's gotten you some sleep medication, which does work, but he wants you to be able to sleep without them again. especially since there are times where you purposefully don't take them, and he has to find out when he comes home at 11pm and you're still up.

although tonight, when you're the one that comes home late, he's quick to catch on to the clear fatigue that's caught up with you. "baby?"

"work was horrible." you grumble, slugging towards him seated at the dining table before making yourself comfortable on the nearest chair (him). "i missed you, and i'm tired."

you feel his laugh echo in his throat, hands on your thighs pull you closer, before they move to your waist and stay there, humming teasingly. "i'm sorry to hear that, honey. you need anything? there's some dinner if you're hungry. i'll heat it up for you." he offers, caressing your form as you shake your head. what a touchy chair.

"i just wanna be able to sleep normally again, phai." you yawn, but you know well enough that your body will still refuse to rest. you forgot to stop by a pharmacy before going home, and you've run out of your sleeping meds. "i know, and you will soon baby. don't make your pretty head hurt any more than it already is, alright?" he dips down to kiss you tenderly with great passion. hey, if you can't sleep, he'll at least try to make the moments you're awake enjoyable. his left hand cups your cheek in order to tilt your head, his own shifting the opposite way to deepen the exchange of love. "you're alright, honey." he murmurs against your lips, pressing one last peck before he smiles. "i know you'll bounce back, you always do."

© sqgeism or wtv (^_^;)

[so-i-did-this-thing]

You're the only person I know on Tumblr who I feel like I can send this ask so I hope this is ok.

I'm absolutely sick to my stomach terrified. People keep talking about not acquiescing early and to keep fighting and that's good but... I'm a trans person married to a trans person and we have a kid. We are so, so scared that we are going to lose our parental rights and have him taken away, even if he's biologically my partners. We are pretty fucking sure that the only way we could even possibly stay in the US and even possibly keep our family together is to detransition. But then we would still be queer, and I remember the 90s and how it was pretty recent that gay couples were considered unfit parents.

And this isn't us blowing things out of proportion, we have an education in politics so we've got a pretty good freaking idea about how bad things can and will get, but also we don't feel like we can afford to NOT take things extremely seriously. The worst case scenario is pretty horrific for us, so we've talked at lengthe about leaving the country. Which is it's own basket of heartbreaks because then there's a real chance we will never be able to come back. And I don't really feel like I can talk about it because a) the Internet doesn't feel safe to be trans on and b) there's been SO much chatter about how we need to stay and fight and people who can leave are privileged etc etc

I just... I'm scared and heartbroken and angry and I feel extremely hopeless. I guess I don't really have a question after all. I just needed to talk about it because it feels like not enough people are seeing this kind of true tragedy that could come from all this.

I wish there was actual help we could get. But there doesn't seem like there's anyone who can.

You're right, Anon - you're not blowing things out of proportion.

I want to say that I'm relieved in a sense that you are talking about where your lines in the sand are are and what you plan to do if they are crossed. There is hope and comfort to be found in a plan, even if it is a plan for the next generation's survival, instead of our own.

Every trans person needs to start thinking about real answers to the following questions:

What will I do if I'm fired tomorrow?

What will I do if I'm denied a loan? Housing?

What will I do if I lose my HRT?

What will I do if information about trans people is considered illegal to circulate?

What will I do if I I'm declared an unfit parent?

What will I do if my marriage is annulled?

What will I do if I'm declared unfit to own my own property or make my own legal decisions?

What will I do if I'm about to be arrested?

There are answers to all of these questions that aren't just "give up and die." But there's no one-size-fits all solution. People will have varying priorities based on how they see their role in fighting fascism and what resources they have access to.

Community is going to become incredibly important. Trans people have always existed. Sympathetic cis people have always existed. Trans people have always found ways to survive and even flourish, even though it often meant not being able to pursue their original dreams.

If you don't know where to begin with strengthening our community, the Trans Literature Preservation Project is a good place to get ideas. The virtual book burnings have already begun on .gov websites, so maybe doing a little preservation work will give you more hope that you're working to make a difference.

Because the work is important, even if the progress won't happen until after our time.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

im really sorry if this is a stupid thing to ask but im 16 and ive been trying to figure out what kinds of things i like, yknow for reference, and uh ik that people say that all kinks are ok but then they also turn around and say that some arent. and i keep getting turned on by rape scenes in shows and things and then i feel really fucking shitty about it and im not sure how i should. idk deal with that, if theres anything to deal with. basically the whole things confusing as fuck and i dont know what to do and you usually have answers

hi anon,

okay, here's the thing: what you're getting turned on by is people playing pretend. no one is in any danger, no one is actually being raped, depending on when the tv show or movie in question was made there's a very good chance there was an intimacy coordinator on standby to make sure everything was done respectfully and all of the actors felt safe and comfortable.

being turned on by a depiction of something bad happening carries no ethical weight, because being horny and enjoying fiction are morally neutral things. people who like Godzilla probably aren't into it because they actually want to see real people and cities be destroyed by a big lizard, you know? it's fun because it's pretend. it's made up.

would personal examples help? I love reading romance novels. I don't want romance to happen to me, that shit gives me hives. but I love to read about people catching feelings and figuring it out. and, hey, you've seen my URL. I love Batman. that doesn't mean I think actual billionaires should zoom around in tanks doing vigilante justice with children, that's fucking crazy. and you want a sex example? I think it's great when men are beaten, bruised, bloodied, and quivering miserably on the edge of death's door. that's so hot to me, I eat that shit up. does that mean I would want to see that happen in real life? jesus christ, no. if I find an actual man in extreme physical distress on the ground I'm not going to start bating my meat, I'm going to call a fucking ambulance and try to help him as best I can. because the way my brain responds to real people is completely different than the way my brain responds to made up people who aren't actually in any pain or danger.

there's nothing to deal with here, because you haven't done anything wrong.

[writingwisterias]

Hey hey!!

You can ignore this if you aren't comfortable but I was wondering if you have any ideas for how different eras Leon would react or handle drunk gf? Smth like been out with the girlies or asking him for a ride home? Go crazy!

Low key started thinking about it after a minor drunken injury weeks ago (all good!)

Hi Anon!

I'm sorry this late, I hope you are okay lmao! We have all been there at some point 👀...I've never fallen down some stairs or whatever

Hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: Fluff, Drunk!Reader,

Fem!Reader

RE2:

You went to a house party, Leon didn't feel like going though so he stayed behind

He trusted you not to do anything stupid and find your own way back.

That was until he got a call from you that you had been left by your friends and needed him to come and pick you up

He left immediately, pulling up to the location in his jeep with a smile at your state

Had to catch you as he helped you into the car as you tripped on the pavement

The entire ride you are chatting to him about all the gossip. He doesn't care who kissed who that night. Your smile and adorable giggles made his night

Caved when you asked for fast food - with the idea it will sober you up a little bit at least.

RE4R:

I feel like he would like a quieter life but when he meets you and you drag him around everywhere.

He doesn't complain he just goes with the flow, he'll have a few drinks etc to make the time more bearable but never as much as you.

It's cute though, how you'll go out onto the dance floor with a bunch of your friends all stumbling about together

Then you will stumble back over to him, placing a kiss that tasted like whatever you were drinking. A hug that was more you leaning on him than an actual hug

He never prompted you to come back, he was content observing you from the bar, his ass going numb from the bar stool.

When it is time to go home, he's dragging you to a cab. Your leaning on him chattering about whatever was on your mind

Thoughts going by so fast he can barely keep up with you. Changing topics like every 5 seconds

Infinite Darkness:

Encourages you to drink more, he's the type that's willing to be the sober one if he needs to be or at least only limiting himself to a few drinks to make sure you get back safely

He has to drag you out the bar towards the end of the night, your goodbye with the girls is dragging on far too long

The walk back is painful, your stumbling everywhere and so slow to the point he just beds his back and braces his knees

You're hard to carry on his back only because you find it so funny but eventually you pass out

When you do you are like dead weight but don't worry he can take it, he's fought things that are heavier than you

Damnation:

He's drunk with you lets be honest, you are both as bad as each other

Prefers to stay at home and drink so you will too

If you host a girls night he'll happily leave the room and sit in your bedroom so you have the space

The girls don't mind him being there they understand you barely see each other so they are fine with him joining in

When he does, he'll suggest things like board games or card games

For Christmas he'll get you loads of drinking games to play either together or with your friends

Finds it funny when you get the couple drinking games

RE6:

You woke him up from sleeping on the sofa when you called him to pick you up

He's fighting you for an answer as to where you are.

Eventually he just drives to the usual bars not hanging up of course

Finds you just aimlessly wandering down the streets. Pulls over and has to gently guide you into the car

Your moaning about how you have your boyfriend on the phone and he's coming to get you until you realize it's him

He'll give you his jacket in the car so you stay warm, after all the outfit your wearing wouldn't have kept you warm

Loves the gossip you collect and will let you ramble about. There's just something distracting about who kissed who compared to his usual thoughts or conversations with his friends

Vendetta:

The guy would be drunk with you, out and about with your friends whatever. He's with you

And considering he's drank a lot in the film before he starts doing anything I would say he's the type of drunk that you can't actually tell he is until you see the drink

So he's more helpful than you in going home

He's dragging you down the street, pulling you into his side so you stay close

If you fall over he's just sighing and laughing at you

It's almost like two toddlers walking down a street together, they don't know where they are going or how to get there but they do eventually

If you ask for his jacket he'll give it to you but he won't just do it on his own will. He's not really thinking straight

Death Island:

He's smart enough to turn on your phone location before you go out so when you do call him, he's there like instantly

He will sit you down on the bathroom counter and force you to tell him what your skin care routine is as he knows you'll be upset you didn't do it

Will eventually get you to write a step by step process and pin it to his bathroom mirror so he knows in advance

Probably just throws on one of his t shirts instead of finding your own clothes

Listens to your drunken talks until eventually you fall asleep cuddles into him

[faeryarchives]

to my beloved (octavinelle x gn!s/o)

requested by anon: Hello! Welcome back from your hiatus! Hope you’re doing alright and relaxing. For request, may I request headcanons of Azul, Floyd, and Jade please? Pre-established relationship and their gn!s/o who likes to give gifts as a love language? Like handmade gifts or found trinkets/baubles the boys might enjoy. Thank you for your consideration! note: anon u are so sweet 🤍 hihi gift giving love language with octatrio sounds so interesting + SO i got into debate last night with my friends on what pre established means if it has no label yet or just having a crush so i decided to write it at the stat of their relationship recent works: i'm not jealous !! (savanaclaw x gn!reader) & octavinelle with a fischl like female reader! & let me kiss you

💌 azul ashengrotto

"oh, a gift for me? do perhaps need my help?" "oh silly azul! i knitted that octopus keychain for you! don't you want to have a little companion while you work?"

this was new to azul - both being in relationship with you and receiving such gifts because as someone wary of apparent gestures of goodwill and believing that “all contracts come with a price” he isn't use to receiving gifts just because it reminds you of him

is it for real? he tried asking you for the fifth time to confirm only to receive the same answer over and over again

he never met someone as generous as him 😭

"azul! azul! look! i got us matching bracelet, this one actually matches your eyes." "o-oh my word, matching bracelets?! aren't we too young for that?!" "...'zul we just kissed earlie-"

having to receive gifts from you just makes his heart so full especially when you also give him coins! + adds it to his collection

expect to see him putting some of your gifts on a special shelf in his office while your other gifts especially plushies are safely tucked in his bed (he sleeps hugging them)

as much as he loves receiving gifts from you, azul wants to give you with the same thought as you have - giving you the things that reminds him of you

"please my love, accept my gift. you've showered me so much love. it would be just fair if i also shower you the same"

💌 jade leech

at first jade was confused - why are you avoiding his eyes and hiding something behind your back?

"love, what are you hiding behind your back" "jade! funny thing, so the ghosts at the ramshackle dorm got me into knitting and so i was thinking maybe a scarf would be nice so-" "so this is a scarf you made for... me? i love it." "really?!"

giving you a little push was his best decision because before jade knew it - his room is covered with gifts from you

receiving something from you as well as seeing you smiling and happy is the best thing he could ever get as a gift

always show your gift to floyd every time to the point that the other eel start to whine to you about jade bragging

"jade cried?!" "yeah! he was wiping his tears after opening one of your letters with "open when you are happy"!" "he can cry...?"

he couldn't help it you know - receiving small trinkets to small envelops with letters from you? can a person could even love him more than this?

in return, jade would try to give you more practical gifts like the things that needs to be repaired back at your dorm, he would replace it with a functioning one! feeling cold and alone at night even when you are with grim - this eel will give you the most comfortable pillows and blankets and even gift grim a new bed!

"jade, i don't think i deserve it?" "nonsense, you deserve everything in this world has to offer."

💌 floyd leech

"floyd, do you have a moment?" "what's up shrimpy- oh, a shrimp brooch?" "i found it while going on shopping with grim earlier at sam's shop, i just thought you might like it."

like it? floyd loves it! you will never catch him not having that brooch on him every day + wears it like a medal

but there was so much more he didn't expect like you to have more under your sleeves!

"an explosion box for me? shrimpy, i thought you were busy this whole week?" "i did! but i will be never busy in creating and giving you something while i am away."

floyd is more like a physical touch giver but seeing you putting so much effort in your gifts - giving him from small to big valuable things it would be unfair if he doesn't give anything back (or so he thought)

this eel tried asking what you want only to receive vague answers

"what do you want shrimpy?" "i don't really need anything in return you know? i gave you gifts because i love to shower you with it." "so it's okay to also give you anything?"

and by mean of anything - you were in for a ride because you two meant things differently 😭

floyd is the type to always let you borrow his clothes from time to time and sometimes gifts you the same jacket for you to guys match + seeing an eel plushie? bought and giving it to you for you to hug your child every night (he said its your child now)

it doesn't take too long for both of you showering each other with gifts 😭 he never knew it would be this fun to think something for you

"you were looking at that necklace when we were walking around town, so i thought it would be a perfect fit for you. do you love it, shrimpy?"

[moonsaver]

THANK YOU FOR READING MY RAMBLE ABOUT THIS SLUTTY MAN, I have love-hate relationship with Ratio :3 (YOUR WRITING IS AMAZING AS ALWAYS)

BUT ALSO, ANOTHER RAMBLE HERE CAUSE YOU'RE MY FAVORITE WRITER!!

I don't know if you feel uncomfortable/weirded out with this, but if you do! Please do delete this if you want, it's your choice!!

Imagine a child, it can be one of those children in Penacony or other planets. But I pick the child from the Penacony! Walking up to Ratio and S/O, who is probably bickering as per usual or just enjoying one of another times (Secretly, since Ratio wants to be a secretive or this is same past-rebelious but now Professor S/O!)

As the child tugs on S/O, calling them pretty and hugs them. THEN PROCEEDED TO BE LIKE "kay now, you're my parent/mother/father"

LIKE:

"Hey miss/mister/mx! You look very pretty/handsome/unique! Will you be my parent?"

IMAGINE RATIO REACTION, *IF* THE KID IS GONNA BE LIKE

"oh, you're going to be my dad as well/other father/other parent!

OR THE OTHER WAY, HOGGING S/O ATTENTION. Clinging On S/O, regardless how many times S/O tries to get the kid back at their actual and real parents here, and would sometimes spend time hanging out with the kid while also trying to search for the kid parent

(AND ALSO I'M GOING TO SEND SOME RAMBLE ABOUT ROBIN (if you Dont mind!) MY BABY DESERVES THE BEST)

Hello anon! Always happy to answer brain rots and imagines and rambles hehe. Glad to see you back in my inbox!

Also, so cute hehe.

I imagine Dr. Ratio is actually pretty good with kids. The thing with kids is most of them love asking a shit ton of questions, the most ridiculous kinds at that. And you know those people who are so damn smart and knowledgeable in their field they start thinking about possibilities of ridiculous ideas as actually plausible? Veritas would kind of teeter on that when it comes to kids and their imagination. I just can't help but imagine kids crawling all over him while he has a rubber duck in his hand and explains like.. hawking radiation to a kid who's just staring blankly at him.

Honestly, kids would love him. Hes the strange, serious man who always bends down and tells you really confusing but fun stuff about things and seems to know everything. To them, hes the "actual adult".

I imagine, in the case a lost child approaches him or him with his s/o, his first instinct would be just to gauge the general state. He'll simply watch as you pick up the kid and coo at him and all the willy nilly stuff, just glancing over and checking for injuries, signs of anxiety or confusion, frustration, or fear. After he's done looking over, he'd try to ask the child about where their parents are when they perk up about how both of you are their parents now.

Well.. he doesn't know how to respond. You see his eyebrows raise slightly at the kid's remark, but he brushes it off, and starts telling the child all about your embarassing history if you were the rebellious professor!s/o. If you aren't, just about any silly memories he has of you are at the tip of his tongue, and that you really aren't suited for a parental figure. Even if you try and shut him up, he'll simply turn to the kid like, "do not let those who oppress you, silence you." Or something lol.

He doesn't mind the child being all over his s/o, telling them how pretty they are, asking them if they want to be their parent, and so on. Kids are silly, and illogical. It's in their nature to say anything that comes to mind. Of course.. he's slightly sour inside that your conversation was cut short, and now the child's hogging all your attention, but he vehemently pushes it down, simply resolving to search for their parents with you.

It's not soon before the both of you finally find them. Veritas gives them a stern, subtle warning about losing their child while you comfort them, bidding your farewell. It slightly annoys Veritas when the child clings to you, refusing to let go, and all his parents do is laugh it off, saying "they're just very social!" Or something. He has better things to be doing, really. He just walks off and lets you take care of things from there.

If you ask him if he's jealous, he won't say anything, and stare deadpan into your eyes before shrugging it off and changing the topic back to what you both were discussing before. Both of you can have more productive conversations, really.

Although.. his thoughts teeter a bit, and he shortly ponders over what kids with you would be like.. would he want children? Maybe one.. or two.. or even three..

Ugh, he's thinking too far ahead. He resigns to simply paying attention in the present, and listening to you ramble instead.

[robinvomit]

I saw you're on break so plsndont rush to answer but what's the difference in all the 90s stuff I keep seeing? if you can answer

I saw your post about 90s tim and 90s kon what does that mean? Can you tell the difference?

Yes, hi, anon. I am still on break — that mostly just means I won't be doing any requests or posting much writing for a week or so. However, I'm more than happy to answer questions.

I mean, I'd say it's pretty easy? But, I guess that depends on the media you are consuming. I mostly read comic books. Some people only read fanfics and most writers aren't going to specify which timeline/version of a character they use. I've stated a couple times that I write Kon inspired by 90s Kon for the simple fact that "Conner" is not the Kon I know ( or really care for. the yj show burned a bridge here. 💔 )

As for Tim — from what I've seen across my fyp, requests, messages, etc. Most people ( including myself, depending on the post ) tend to focus on Tim's awkward, logical, weird nerd self.

However, I used to have a couple posts based on 90s Tim ( Who I love because he was just a little shit starter, ngl. )

So here's a.. I don't know, break down of sorts for 90s Tim.

• He was sarcastic as living hell, had a super dry sense of humor. Incredibly blunt. Had absolutely no issue calling anyone out or anything. His inner monolog was actually just him being a manace.

• I don't really know where socially awkward, weird Tim came from? I don't know where it started but I can't say I haven't written him like that lol but, He was actually very socially comfortable? Like, he masked like hell. Tim had ( still has, I'm pretty sure ) trust issues, controll problems, he was snippy but he was still emotionally closed off to people. Which, that isn't new for any of them.

• He was straight up MEAN. Like — I'm pretty sure one of his biggest hobbies was poking and prodding and pressing buttons to piss people off as much as he could. Plus, Tim was VERY, VERY MORALLY GREY! He was a manipulative little shit when he saw he needed to be. He did what he thought needed to be done, whether it was good or bad. He was pretty cold hearted and ruthless when it came down to it.

• He wasn't afraid to pick at someone's weaknesses, even in a normal social setting. He thought some pretty sharp things, tbh. And, being hurt is different for all of them — like.. Jason gets angry, Damian well.. he's Damian all the time, Dick usually got quiet and dealt on his own. Tim, on the other hand, would cut deep and hurt you right back.

• I'm not going to use clapping emojis but I need people to see this as well: Tim was incredibly fucking independent. He did not want or need to rely on the batfam for support. He was self sufficient — he literally had his own base, his own tech, his own system. He had no problem working ALONE.

• Tim also ( this may still be true 🫠 I have not seen anything recent ) had issues with his place among the others. Which furthered the emotional cut off.

• He was also a little bitch to his friends. He fought with Kon CONSTANTLY — it wasn't always straight up mean fighting but sometimes it was. Tim had an ego and was pretty smug about himself. Not to mention he lied to them about missions and stuff — same thing as batman's 'well I did it for the mission'. He kept Bart, Cassie, Kon, etc etc. At arm's length and let's be honest, he just wasn't great at being a friend in general.

• major major major major arrogance, control freak, had to be right, had to make the plans, had to control everything.

• another morally grey comment because it just makes me so fucking happy: I saw someone say Tim was a pacifist and nearly lost my shit. He pretty much craved violence when given the chance. He broke bones without flinching.

• My guy kept shit secret from everyone lol He would straight up withhold info from everyone. Yes, including Bruce. ( But, I mean, he pretty much stood against Bruce and said everything but to kiss his ass. )

• You'll also notice he was a bit misogynistic, as well, which is brought up as the first topic any time someone mentions 90s Tim.

• and a fun little misconception: he did not worship Bruce. He was actually pretty tired of his shit most of the time. But, he did look up to him.

In short; 90s Tim was kind of a huge piece of shit, didn't take shit off of anyone, was a bad friend and also liked to fuck around.

As you can see, this is why I don't have a lot of requests asking specifically for 90s Tim but I do have a good bit of drafts for him.

[ oh and since I didn't say it; 90s Kon is just a character development sweetheart loverboy that just wanted to be accepted and loved and the world actually just fucking hated him. ]

✌🏻 ( pertaining to the whole me having tim vibes — yes it includes this. I am a mix of both. It's called bpd ✨️ )

[thewalrusespublicist]

I’ll push back on the paul hate thing that’s actually not true in my experience. I actually have the opposite issue it’s hard getting to know paul because all you get is push back and accusations of hate, it’s like you can’t speak about him outside of certain parameters that you don’t know.

I’ve talked about george/ john music, philosophies and actions with a lot of people inside and outside of the fandom, we can speak about them freely, critique them and in some cases it actually went too far. But paul with the exception of mclennon it’s a dead end it’s frustrating.

That’s why the fandom’s love of George and john is different because it’s almost like you know them cause we kinda do to an extent.

It’s not the 70s and 80s anymore the fandom doesn’t need to protect him , with the exception of certain periods of time (all of them got it btw) he had been admired and loved by everyone for decades .

Disclaimer for clarity: This anon came in in response to a post I did in around Paul getting mad at strikers and the Beatles morality but before my Paul interview from hell write-up. I also received a similar anon at the same time about Paul vs John and Paul's edges being smoothed out and I'll try to answer that in this anon too.

Hi anon!

To be transparent, I'm not sure if I'm the best person to speak on this as for the most part, I've felt pretty comfortable talking at length about Paul's flaws and haven't received much backlash for it. For example, in the post I think you're responding to, I called Paul stubborn, short-sighted, egotistical, wrong-headed, capable of stupid ideas and a host of other things and without really any trouble. I would also debate the 'freely criticise other Beatles' thing, but that's subjective. To be clear, this is not me saying that your experiences aren't very real and annoying. What I mean is that I think which circles and corners of the internet you are in are crucial for shaping experience.

Looking at it from a distance, I think it's unrealistic to expect for Paul to be talked about in the same way as John and George as Paul is still kicking it. Paul at the minute is part of the present, a living legend, beloved grandude etc. (a status I would argue he's only received in the past decade or so if you look at press response, he was fairly badly mauled pretty consistently until the early 2010s). He is a living part of the culture and therefore our connection to him is both far more immediate and more remote. You don't expect to know everything about a living person's private life and work in the same way you expect of a long dead person. At the same time due to Paul's status in the culture as everyone's legendary grandad, it's fairly natural for people to be more protective over him and his life/legacy. I feel they would have been the exact same way if the situation had been reversed (John's endless cancellations notwithstanding). (Not to mention Paul's also finally got a good PR team who is working overtime and he has been pushing out successful project after successful project lately lol.)

Tragically, in comparison John and George have now begun to move past the point of hagiography and into the realm of historical figures. With this status comes far more information about their behind-the-scenes world: more anecdotes, more honest interviews, more objective analysis and conversations that aren't naturally censored to protect the living individual/fueled by grief for the recently deceased. I read a quote once that it takes about 50 years post a persons death for a decent biography to be made about them and I think we are getting to about that point with John. (I actually don't think we're there yet with George, but that's a different conversation.) Paul is *touch wood* decades behind this point. We haven't even hit hagiography stage that will come when he passes in hopefully a billion years from now. With all this in mind, even though it's annoying and leads to bias in how we discuss each Beatle, the differences in how we view Paul (and Ringo!) compared to George and John are almost inevitable.

[stylesparker]

together again

PAIRING: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

WARNINGS: ex-bestfriend!steve, bullying, panic attack, anxiety, mentioned parent death, angst, hurt/comfort, "i've got you"

A/N: sorry this request took so long, but I hope you enjoy anon! Thank you for checking with me first, and I hope this can offer you a little more comfort! <33

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh?" You knock yourself out of your stupor and look at Steve, his eyes gazing gravely at you. His arms are crossed, his hair is all styled up to perfection like always, and you think to yourself- how is it that you've been paired up with Steve Harrington, again, for another stupid project? Why you, of all people?

You definitely have to be cursed.

"You heard me, right?" He confirms. "My house after school?"

You nod, almost rolling your eyes a bit. "Yeah, totally." You huff before you ask, "since when have you been one to get a head start on school work?"

He chuckles, but it sounds more sarcastic than genuine, "Since I needed a good grade in this class to graduate, L/N. I'll see you later." He pushes off the wall, sauntering away in those stupid ass jeans that actually kind of make his ass look good. You shake your head, looking away from the boy and turn to face your locker once more.

As soon as you close it with your backpack over your shoulder, you hear familiar whistles coming towards you down the hallway.

Shit.

You start walking, hoping within an inch of your life these shitheads aren't coming to you, but you know better. A hand clamps over your shoulder, squeezing a little too hard for you to know exactly who it is.

Justin Andrews, the biggest dick in Hawkins.

"Heya, sweetheart, you miss me?" He laughs right into your ear.

"Not exactly."

"Oh, I know you did. Where ya' been? Haven't seen you around all week, was sorta starting to miss this pretty ass." His friends laugh beside him as his hand drifts down your shoulder and smacks your ass, catching you off guard and making you flinch farther from his hold.

"Been sick." That's all you answer, thinking maybe putting him off with short responses will get him to find somebody else, but again, you know better than to think this will be different than any other time before.

"Damn, that's a shame. I'm sure those kids of yours got a nice break from ya' then huh?" You glare at him as he offers a wide-grinned smile, winking at you before leaving you with another smack to the ass as a parting gift. As Justin and his pack of friends depart, you hurry away as fast as you can down the hall and out the doors before they can even think of coming back.

Once you finally get to your car and get inside, you throw your stuff to the passenger seat and take a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. There was no way you were going to last period after that, and besides, your youngest little brother needed to be picked up from daycare today anyway. Luckily your other four siblings are a bit older and take the bus now, otherwise you probably would have dropped out at this point. You take another deep breath and drive off in hopes of getting your brother quickly, and home on time so you don't show up late to Steve's.

You do not want to deal with an angry Steve.

...

As the universe would have it, everything was against you today.

First, you almost got hit by some drunk pulling out of the bar halfway to the daycare. Once you got to the daycare, you had to wait half an hour since your brother had a tantrum and didn't want to leave in the middle of snack time. By the time you got him out of there, and into your car in his blue booster seat, it had been another 20 minutes. Usually it's about a 15 minute drive home from the daycare, but it ended up being a half hour due to traffic. After you finally made it home, you got a call from your boss asking you to come in again later tonight to take another extra shift since your shitty co-worker hasn't been showing up for two weeks.

At that point, you were about to lose it. You'd just gotten home and now you had to miss another family dinner tonight, much to your brother's disappointment. You wish you had just a moment to breathe, but everything has been so... chaotic lately, it's like you've been running a marathon for a month straight.

You opened the cabinet to see what food was in there, but it was only half a bag of stale potato chips, and a couple boxes of your sisters' favorite cereal. You sighed, holding your empty stomach. Leftovers tonight would have to suffice.

You took a quick glance at the clock at the wall, but did the world's fastest double take when you saw the time 4:30.

SHIT. You think. Steve is going to murder me.

Thankfully, you hear your mom pull in the driveway so at least you're not leaving your brother home alone. You grab your backpack and bolt out the door with your keys in your hand. You scream a quick goodbye to your mom while she watches you pull out of the driveway like a madman, and take off in a rush.

Fifteen minutes later, you're pulling into Steve's huge driveway, slamming the door behind you, and running up to the door with big huffs to try and catch your breath. You knock on the door three times, and pull your hand back down when you see the door already opening in front of you. When the door is opened, you're confronted by the boy you were dreading to see.

"I'm sorry-" you begin to apologize, but Steve immediately cuts you off.

"Are you serious? I asked you if after school worked and you told me it was fine, and now you're an hour and a half late!"

"Steve-" you try again, but he continues. You stand there, taking in his anger and frustration, and all you can do is blankly stare and nod, not even knowing what you're agreeing with. You shut your eyes and look at the ground, willing the tears to stay back while you twist your fingers in your hands. You don't even know when his voice lost its edge or when it even stopped at all, or when you'd been pulled inside and asked if you were alright. Your eyes are still closed, but your head feels like it's going to explode and you can't hear what he's saying. The tears are streaming down your face before you can help it, and your hands start shaking from how hard you're trying to hold back.

Steve's so taken aback, he can't even speak. He hasn't seen you like this in a long time, not since your dad died and you practically became a parent to your siblings. His heart breaks a little bit at the sight of you, and he feels a part of his old self coming back, wanting to comfort you and protect you just like he did growing up. Just like he's done his whole life, apart from the entirety of this year. He doesn't even care he's supposed to hate you and you're supposed to hate him in this moment, all he knows is that he's the only person that can help you right now, and he's going to do just that.

Steve's face loses its concern and he jumps into protective mode, bringing his hands up to hold either side of your face to get you to look at him.

"Sweetheart, I need you to calm down for me, yeah? What's going on, talk to me."

You stubbornly shake your head and refuse to look up at him. Your chest is still heaving rapidly, and he can tell you can't catch your breath.

"Don't be stubborn right now, I can't help you if you don't let me and you need to let me help you. I can't have you passing out on my floor now can I?" He tries to joke, but you don't get distracted, you keep your eyes down even though they've opened. He sighs, dropping one of his hands to grab yours and place them over his chest. "Slow down, take a deep breath, love."

"I-I can't-" you sputter out to the best of your ability, letting your hand ball his shirt up into a fist.

"Yes, you can. Take a good deep breath," you listen to him momentarily, following what he's doing, and when you do he nods and gives you a nice, soft smile, "there ya go, love, you got it. Do it again."

Seeing him be like this for you again brings you back to all those times you've needed him before, the memories almost came flooding back when you heard his loud voice turn soothing in an instant, just for you. His touch had always been grounding, always took off the pressure and allowed you to come back down, and you hadn't expected it to be the same after so much time apart, but now, it's like nothing changed. He's still Steve- he's still your Steve.

That thought alone comforts you more than anything else.

"Steve-" you whisper softly, "I'm so- sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Sweetheart, don't-"

"No, I have to. I've been horrible to you, and now you're helping me- I just-" you drop your head on his chest, and finally tell him everything. "I feel like I've just been going and going non-stop, and today was it, it was my absolute breaking point. After you, and Justin-"

"Justin? Are you- Are you serious? Is he still giving you shit?"

You gulp, "yeah," but you shake your head quickly, "but he's not even the worst thing, I just... ugh," you stop yourself before you start crying again but Steve feels like he knows.

"When's the last time you got some sleep?"

"I don't know.. a couple days ago?"

"Oh my god," he drops his head back and groans, which actually makes you laugh a bit. He immediately looks down at you, realizing the talking stopped you from panicking, or at least distracted you from it. "Hey," he nudged you a bit, getting you to look up at him, "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't of yelled at you, and I definitely shouldn't have left you that night-"

"That's not your fault, Steve. I pushed you away."

"Yeah, and I shouldn't have let you."

You look at each other for a moment, like, really look at each other. It's been so long since you've been able to hold each other like this, it almost doesn't feel real.

"C'mon, let's get you something to eat."

"It's fine-" you start, before he cuts you off again.

"No, shut up. If you haven't been sleeping, you definitely haven't been eating either, so let's go." He left no room for debate, so you just took his hand and followed him, letting him lead you through his house.

He gives you a couple of your favorite snacks, since he didn't have any sort of meals yet, but you seemed very content, so he thought it was better than nothing. He let you take your time, rubbed your back while you told him about the rest of your shitty day, and grabbed your hand again when he started up the stairs to his room.

"What about the project?" You asked.

"That can wait. You need some sleep first."

"Steve-"

He shook his head, "Nope. Not happening."

At last, you gave up and followed his lead again, which, as much as you'd hate to admit it, it felt nice letting someone else lead you around for a change instead of the other way around. For so long, it's been you taking charge and always bossing your siblings around, but it feels relieving to have Steve with you again to remind you it didn't always have to be that way.

You pulled back the covers in his bed and laid down, not even having to ask for Steve to join you, him already doing the same on the other side. Almost as if no time had passed, you curled up against one another, resting your head on his chest, and his arms wrapping around you to pull you close.

"Go to sleep. I've got you."

His hands rub gentle circles on your back, soothing you and releasing the tension from your body as you slowly relax enough to fall asleep. You fight to keep your eyes open as long as you can, savoring this moment with him, almost as if he won't be here when you wake up.

"Don't worry, I'll be here."

Those words pull at your heartstrings, making you hold him tighter and bury yourself into him deeper, if you even can. Knowing that you're together again has you finally closing your eyes, and falling into a peaceful sleep.

[genderqueerdykes]

Having read what y'all have said, I'm going to add a few things.

1. You're right, it's not all cishet men, it's specifically the bad ones that I hate, I do however, have a distrust of specifically *White* cishet men (though at this point I feel like most people do) who have declared themselves to be just that, which brings me to my next point -

2. It's only the people who have flat out said they identify this way that it effects for me. I'm actually married to a non-passing trans woman. I see her struggles, mostly with, you guessed it, white cishet men, and white cishet women. I love her a lot, so no, I don't immediately just assume.

3. Aro, Ace, intersex, Etc are all Lgbtq+ last I checked, no? I personally wouldn't group those folks in with cishet folks, but I do appreciate this take as well. For me, in my opinion, being aro is enough to be queer if someone wants that space. If they tell me they don't, I won't force it, but I've yet to have someone say "oh no thanks" being so fr right now, Even if they are Cis, and Hetero, they are still Aromantic. They are still Asexual. Those are still valid identities in the community. So is being gay? Intersex by default means you're not cis, unless I've been misled on that. So.. No I'm not including those groups when I say I hate cishet men.

4. I know it wasn't you who brought this up, but I'd geuninely appreciate a deeper explanation on how hating white cishet men (or, Bad cishet men specifically) is racist? Idk maybe I'm an outlier here but I'm way more comfortable around cishet men of color than I am white cishet men. I just didn't think it would immediately jump to "You're racist anon" or I would've clarified that intially.

The reason for all of this, is personal. It is because of hurt. But it is also because 97% of women. Statistics back that right now, in society, the most dangerous people are also the ones who try to take up the biggest space. Who shout the loudest. Who punch down most often. So yeah, I do hate them. Would I say that I hate someone who is Amab but hasn't flat out identified that way? No. Would I say I hate white cismen's socialization more than them? Yeah absolutely. I absolutely challenge how we raise our kids on the whole because look at how that turns out.. and that's just the numbers we have. Would I say that I hat every white cishet who's proudly proclaimed that to me? Yeah. Honestly. I think I would. Whether they have personally wronged me, or not, their socialization and actions are a part of them, one they could change if they wanted to, but the stastics don't lie. The people who cause the most damage are, cishet, white, men. I recognize maybe that makes me bitter, but.. I can't really afford to be sweet, with how much hurt I've been put through, my wife has been put through, my friends and even just strangers get put through.

If they're not white, and they admit they're cishet, I'm still cautious. But I don't automatically jump on the hate train without getting to know them.

I don't go up to children still trying to figure things out and loudly proclaim that I hate them because.

Hell I don't even do that to adults. My feelings are my own, and my responsibility. I just make a point of being precautious, and I do my best to protect my wife, where I can, and others.

It's all good and dandy to make room for cishet men, queer men, men in general - and I definitely think it needs to be done more on the whole, and advocated for, but at the same time, aren't we allowed to be angry about how things have been? About how difficult to bring that change in is? (Note, because other things got misunderstood, Being angry /=/ Attacking other people. Hatred for me, at least /=/ Attacking other people. It's not outward. Those are actions. Not feelings.)

I'll stay to see any responses if this is answered, because I do think open dialogue is the only way to learn and to challenge one's views (which I'm not opposed to doing. Maybe one day I'll realize y'all were right or maybe even after the response to this who knows right?) Because that's how growth happens. That's how real change gets started. But, I think in general, me sticking around would probably make you feel uncomfortable, which is valid, so I'll take off afterwards & bear in mind that it *does* include me for others going forward. I do appreciate an answer on that, even if it seems like we have different opinions and perspectives. Maybe I just wasn't clear enough? Maybe this'll be seen as worse not better. Idk. Either way. Thanks for giving me an answer, and for the emotional labour that went into the initial replies, and any replies if they happen to this. If no one is willing to put more into this, I do completely understand that too. I'm not gonna push. It's a lot, and it can be exhausting and cause burn out so like. You gotta take care of yourselves too.

I probably won't feel the need to respond again, but, I might if I see y'alls point more clearly. Otherwise, I don't want to cause any more problems for anyone so I'll take my leave!

no, your hatred is not justified, and it never will be. no part of that is justified whatsoever. what you hate is patriarchy, not cishet men. you hate the system that we've built around cishet men and how we force everyone to uphold it. your talking points are heavily steeped in rad feminist ideals and i highly recommend trying to divorce yourself of that. it's always bad praxis to hate an entire group of people.

you said you specifically hate "cishet men." aro cishet men are cishet men. ace cishet men are cishet men. genderqueer cishet men are cishet men. intersex cishet men are cishet men. cishet men can be queer. insinuating that "cishet man" means "not queer" is dangerous thinking. of course these people are queer.... but they're still cishet men. you don't get to rob a cishet man of their cishet manhood just because they are also ace, aro, intersex, and so on. that doesn't just erase the fact that they're a cishet man and automatically make them 'safer' to be around than any other cishet man.

i would highly recommend on not talking about intersex identities until you learn more. being intersex doesn't make someone inherently trans, it's actually very intersexist to state that being intersex makes you basically trans. there are loads of cis intersex people out there, so you were right in not being informed well on that issue. this spits in the face of every intersex person who has fought to be seen as cis to insinuate that being intersex makes you trans. these wouldn't be two distinct experiences if they meant the same thing.

also i never called you racist. the comment made about racist behavior was from another blogger. no one ever called you racist for saying you hate white men. please re-read this portion of the addition:

you have been hurt by specific men, the general concept of cishet men. to automatically assume someone is dangerous just because how they identify will lead you down a path of extreme isolation. random cishet men walking down the street aren't hurting you. random cishet men in the same community as you aren't hurting you.

i'd recommend giving my initial response a re-read because a lot of this is totally out of left field. it's your choice whether or not you interact with me! you're not obligated to follow my blog if you genuinely think and feel that you need to hate cishet men in order to survive. keep in mind that hating men will not keep you safe from being hurt again in the future. you will never be completely safe from abuse by pathologically avoiding and hating men

shift your hatred to patriarchy, not cishet men who have not hurt you. many men are chewed up and spat out by patriarchy for not being a perfect man. it's not racist to talk about how men of color are treated horribly by patriarchy and how certain racial traits are seen as more "manly" by whites than others. this part of the discussion is extremely important to talk about. no one called you racist, they called the behavior of stereotyping certain physical traits as masculine racist. racist behavior can be changed

i'll leave you with this: you've been hurt by cishet men, but you've also been hurt by cishet women. you cannot in good faith say you have never, ever been hurt by a cishet woman. whether directly, or by virtue of having a cishet woman in a position of power over you, such as an employer or governor, you have been hurt by a cishet woman in some point in your life. people really love to downplay how much cishet women can hurt people.

this question is for you, not for you to ask me, or respond to: is it okay to hate all cishet women because of the likes of JKR? chew on that for a while. women are not inherently incapable of abuse. by asserting that men are inherently abusive, you are asserting that women are inherently defenseless and can only be abused and never hurt anyone else.

hope that gives you a few things to think about. good luck out there

[kalikalahansa]

If you don't mind answering, could you please give some tips for messing untraining, I already wear / use 24/7 but would really appreciate any insights you could give to help the training along :)

Hey, anon. Sorry for the delay; I was going to give a much more exhaustive answer to this but it ended up just getting in the way. Here is what I can tell you.

As a headnote, I don't know if you already mess 24/7; some people say they "wear and use 24/7" and mean that they wear 24/7, wet their diapers 24/7, and mess their diapers whenever they feel like it. The quote marks here aren't intended to discredit them; I think that is a valid way of interpreting the words in question, I'm only addressing it because it causes some ambiguity in this case. I'm going to assume you don't already use 24/7, in part because it will make the message more useful to people who don't.

Messing makes retraining significantly less likely

I've had a few correspondents who've untrained messing and attempted to retrain. Very few have made significant progress; I'm 1 of maybe 2 I know. I think none so far have successfully retrained.

I don't have facts about this but I do have a hypothesis. Wetting and messing control, as well as to some extent voiding, are co-ordinated by muscles that mechanically rely to some extent on the pelvic floor. Using control maintains the tone of those muscles and the pelvic floor. When either wetting or messing control is deliberately abandoned, it leads to the pelvic floor and the connected muscles losing tone.

Giving up wetting control causes the pelvic floor to lose some tone, subsequently raising the risk of messing accidents. However, maintaining messing control maintains some tone and also refreshes muscle memory of the sequence of movements involved in using the pelvic floor to support voiding control. Subsequently giving up messing control removes any checks on diminution of muscle tone and also makes it easier for toilet-trained muscle memory about voiding to be replaced by an automatic process based on reflex.

If this hypothesis is correct then the following might be an applicable metaphor: Toilet training controls voiding like a house controls your experience of the weather. Wetting untraining knocks down two walls of the house, collapsing the roof; the house is no longer usable as a house, because the sun and wind and rain can get in and the electrics are probably fucked, but there's still an artificial structure there. Messing untraining knocks down the other two walls and pulls up the foundations. It may take a while for any evidence of human habitation to disappear, but the amount of work you will now have to do to rebuild the original structure is all of it; there is nothing left to repair.

Messing is less discreet

This should be pre-empted by diluting it: messing, even messing 24/7, can be done discreetly and does not automatically mean everyone will know when you mess. If you're sufficiently prepared then they generally won't know. As usual, remember that even if they do know, 99% of the time they won't care enough to think about it, and it's even less likely that they'll care enough to bring it up to you and try to impose consequences on you as a result.

That having been said:

As someone who started dealing with uncontrolled messing roughly a year and a quarter in, messing marked the point in my untraining where I could no longer get by just making do with my pre-diapered approach, routine, wardrobe, etc. I had to significantly tighten up my hygiene routine and put more effort into finding facilities and methods that worked for me. More relevantly, messing marked the point where to stay discreet (or, at least, to do so to a degree that was comfortable for me) I had to comprehensively revamp my wardrobe and start actually changing what I was willing to wear; not necessarily by much, but changes had to be made.

For me, most of the times where I've had to proactively mention my incontinence or risk a crisis later have been post-messing untraining. Most of the times where someone has indicated to me that they knew I was in diapers without my telling them have been post-messing untraining. It could accurately be said that if you've held onto the casual-wear ideal of permanently, completely, perfectly concealing your diapers, messing will be the point where that has to end or be ended. Discretion and concealment are still a necessity, but expecting to be able to perfect the cover to the point that it's unbreakable is not a notion which is going to survive.

Messing will be less discreet early on

Much like wetting, toilet-trained messing takes the form of large, infrequent voids. Untrained messing is smaller, more frequent voids. Because the degree to which a messing accident can be kept discreet is, to put it indelicately, determined to some degree by the size of the mess, earlier accidents will be less discreet. If by chance the possibility of getting outed by a messing accident remains a front-of-mind worry for you well into untraining it, rest assured that it will get easier as you go.

Start voluntarily messing

With wetting, some people start from wearing underwear and voiding in the conventionally normal fashion in their toilet, and then immediately standing jump to wearing diapers full-time and untraining. Some of them even succeed.

This is fine. I would not recommend it with messing. You can abstractly comprehend what you're getting into, but if you don't have previous experience you're missing an essential part. If you're currently using the toilet at all, move away from that and start voiding your bowels exclusively in the form of messing your diapers.

Do this for a while without any expectation of losing bowel control. This will hopefully get your body into some healthier habits, but will certainly highlight any issues with your current way of doing things and will also place you under pressure to adapt to the new demands in terms of your hygiene routine, how you dispose of used diapers, etc. Once you're used to it, then start focusing on untraining.

Change your diet

This is way more important for messing than it is for wetting. With wetting, you can brute force your way through untraining okay with basically any diet as long as you're not trying to find the one weird trick that will force your body to have accidents, because there isn't one. I don't think you should brute force wetting untraining — it'll be less pleasant and make the process take longer — but if there's no other option, like if you're not willing to make some of the changes in question or you literally can't, slacking on the dietary changes is not necessarily going to stop process.

This is not the case with messing. Untraining a voiding function is attempting to make it automatic, and a requirement for something to be automatic is making it as low-effort as possible. As a result, you want to make it as easy as possible for yourself to mess, and the fastest, most sustainable, least intrusive way there is considerably softening your stool. The price of that is changing your diet to support it.

This is the part that held up this answer for so long. I tried to come up with informal dietary recommendations based on evaluating the ones that circulate around the community in this kind of situation and on my own knowledge as someone who's untrained messing. Unfortunately this turned into a byzantine multi-stage process and it's still not done.

Dietary recommendations, if I ever do complete them, will be in a separate post. Otherwise, most of the recommendations in The Twelve Month Diaper-Training Program are, if slightly outdated, still good, as is any general dietary advice related to avoiding constipation or to softening your stool. Failing that, I would recommend as absolutely foundational the following:

drink more water (up to local health authority recommendations)

eat more fibre (use Metamucil if you have to)

avoid bowel irritants (you won't learn how to automatically mess by just giving yourself diarrhoea)

avoid red meat (it makes your poop stink)

Upgrade your gear

If your current stock of diapers and various support items is calibrated around 24/7 wetting or, indeed, casual wear, and you charge straight into untraining messing without reassessing them and possibly upgrading them, you are going to have a miserable time. Here are some tips.

Reassess your diapers. Obviously you shouldn't still be in pull-ups at this point, but if you are, switch to diapers. The difference between pull-ups and diapers for messing is not as marked as the difference between heavy wetting and the level of wetting the average pull-up can handle, but correctly fitted adult pull-ups still generally don't have enough coverage or structural support to deal with a regime of 24/7 messing replacing the toilet.

Relative to what would have sufficed for full-time wetting or casual wear, you will need to slightly upgrade your absorbency because poop also contains water. Even if your current diapers are properly fitted, depending on the diaper you may have to pick one with more coverage (typically in the form of a higher back); movement of your body against the diaper will cause your mess to flatten, and it is preferable that it have to flatten the maximum possible amount in order to travel far enough to get out of the diaper.

You will also need improved structural support. For continent people, the average mess weighs up to twice as much as the average completed discharge of urine, and it's more concentrated in a single spot, presenting a larger problem for the diaper with relation to maintaining its fit and containment. If your current choice of diaper has any issues with sag over time, get a new one. I have generally found that, as disposable diapers go, diapers with plastic (polyethylene) backing retain their fit better under load (no pun intended). For the same reason, if you weren't invariably wearing onesies before, you should start now.

For the record, finding a diaper that wasn't incompatible with messing wasn't the issue. When I have had issues that made a diaper just flat-out incompatible with messing — e.g., "due to my body shape, the size of this diaper that is otherwise correct for me is too tight on the butt to safely mess" — those have been big brands, but I've always had other options. Most all-in-one-style incontinence briefs (i.e., actual "diaper" adult diapers) are designed with the expectation that someone would at least need to be experiencing faecal incontinence to feel it was warranted to wear them. Accordingly, most such diapers are usually safe to mess once as long as you change relatively quickly.

The main issue is that such diapers are to some extent designed around the expectation that they'll primarily be worn by older people with impaired cognition and mobility in an assisted living/long-term care context and changed by nursing staff or other relevant supportive providers on an at least nominally fairly frequent basis (I'm aware the "at least nominally" is load-bearing here). They're designed to be at least viable for a wide range of other uses but that is the use they're supposed to be optimal for. (Note that this does not imply most people who actually have this kind of incontinence meet these conditions, or, to put it more bluntly, does not imply incontinence actually is "an old people disease". Diaper manufacturers simply often design diapers as if it were, because that makes economic sense.)

Most people who want to untrain are going to have unimpaired cognition, probably unimpaired mobility, not be in supported living, and be changing themselves. This narrows the selection of available diapers in a few ways. One is that because you're mobile, your choice of diapers needs to maintain fit and containment when messy even when it's also subjected to the various structural stresses of full movement, such as changes in the position of the abdomen (breathing faster) and rapid shifts in the position of the legs (sitting down, climbing stairs, etc.). The capacity of a diaper to handle an accident is one thing but the capacity of a diaper to contain an accident even if you have to sit down in the diaper at some point is indispensable.

Another factor is that you're not spending your time in an assisted living environment but, most likely, working to maintain an adult life which is whatever was previously normal for you except plus diapers and minus continence. For the people for whom these diapers are designed, it may be possible to devise some kind of "fixed" changing schedule based on duration after which changing thought necessary vs number of available caring personnel. For the average untrainee, on the other hand, the demands of an adult life that includes a median level of employment and/or full-time caring can mean that the interval between when an accident happens and when you can change can unexpectedly vary from what you might expect.

This means your choice of diaper, as well as other things like your under-the-diaper skincare routine, need to account for possibly being in a messy diaper longer than you would want to be. If I'm completely blunt another factor for which you may also need to plan in "wiggle room" is unexpected variations in accident severity. Particularly during the untraining transition, but still intermittently afterward, I've had what I thought would be small accidents which have suddenly turned into very not small accidents.

In short, with diapers in particular, the issue is not so much finding a diaper with adequate capacity to handle a given volume of messing with a given time until changing will be possible. The issue is that life and thus messing vary more than the average diaper is optimally designed for, and they matter more when they do.

Strongly consider cloth diapers. For one thing, as previously mentioned, messing untraining probably means that, to put it delicately, you can start planning for the long term. For another thing, I know I was just going on about how PVC pants are less distressing to wash because they're non-absorbent. Cloth diapers don't have that, but most cloth diaper designs have more than enough coverage (if correctly fitted) and those which have fixed fasteners have adequately solid structural support.

If you are not wearing waterproof pants, I would start. Even if you're wearing disposable diapers, messing untraining is when unlined waterproof pants get a real chance to shine. They prevent smell circulating to some extent (although they are by no means a complete solution), but more importantly a properly fitted pant provides vital extra acreage outside your diaper's leg and waist bands in case of a press-out containment failure, and they're non-absorbent so the washing is a lot less distressing than it could be. Rinsing and sanitising a PVC pant kicks the fuck out of a sudden frantic five-alarm emergency about the fate of your best skirt. For similar reasons, I would recommend putting protection on your furniture; even if you have to throw away your sheets, at least you don't have to throw away your mattress.

If you don't keep disposable gloves on hand and/or use them, start. With the right preparation, leaks from messy diapers won't happen often, but they will happen at least a few times, mostly in situations and in ways that you wouldn't want them to. If you, like me, have the average person's amount of aversion to poop, simply having gloves on is going to make the things you have to do to deal with that not only a lot more hygienic but a lot less unpleasant overall.

If you don't have a changing pad, I would consider one. It's not strictly necessary, but it can be the case, regardless of how you use your diapers, that not having one means you have to change against the wall. When dealing with messy diapers, you really want to have access to as many different options for changing as you can get.

Consider an internal deodorant

You can't eliminate poop odour, but you can reduce it. You can take some external measures, like waterproof pants, but most measures have to be to do with your digestive system, and the main measure you have to take is changing what you eat. However, you can also improve odour concerns by taking a deodoriser such as bismuth subgallate or chlorophyllin.

Be more conscious of rash

Messing irritates the skin more aggressively than wetting does. A more rigorous skincare routine will save you a lot of hassle.

End note

As with everything, collect your own data and experiences before deciding on the extent to which you should follow these recommendations. I had to upgrade to a significantly higher-performance disposable diaper when messing started becoming a regular concern for me, which was rude given that I'd just had to upgrade to deal with bedwetting. Some don't have to do basically anything because they were already doing everything they needed to do. It's your call.

[kevin-the-bruyne]

i do feel like khaotung has replaced first now and it's a little sad. i always knew one or both would do that eventually but i'm surprised by how sad it's making me to see it happen.

that's kind of pathetic isn't it?

I have actually agonized a little over how to answer this because you seem genuinely sad and joking about shrimp khaotung and khaotung's soft little gay heart doesn't really take your concerns seriously enough.

One, I think you are experiencing the jealousy that polyamorous people often describe feeling when they first start exploring polyamory. I'm not even joking I think the only reason you're feeling this way is because Khaotung is hanging out people who aren't First because Khaotung has been in nothing but domestic bliss since he's bought that house. Not only has Khaotung NOT replaced First, he's nesting, they're three kids in, you want tintin to grow up without a father?

Khaotung reveres First in a way that is truly unparalleled, yes present tense. People on twitter have the worst memory known to man, they'll really say Joong is obsessed with First as though the true trajectory of JoongFirst isn't Joong is obsessed with Khaotung who's obsessed with First. Is Khaotung truly hanging out with anyone who isn't also in some way obsessed with First?

And lastly, why isn't First hanging out with other people too? and the truth is he is too busy raising tintin he actually probably does but we don't see it. I don't know how to explain the BL laws of heteronormativity, because I feel like a crazy person when I have to spell it out for someone because I have to accept the fact that we truly live like this as a society. But First is The Man and Khaotung is The Woman, there's a whole bunch of things that First gets absolutely slammed for that Khaotung just doesn't. And the reason why I'm certain that First still hangs out with other people is because he used to. A LOT, he's the social one 😭 Who would even respond to the texts of Khaotung's many new boyfriends if First isn't there to do it for him?

I have that wonderful anon who keeps telling me I am over interpreting, that First is still goofy and sweet and cute if I could only understand Thai. But it's not his personality I am talking about but rather the range of actions he's allowed to do. The crying had to be cut back, he not only got bigger and muscular but also stronger until he could carry Khaotung princess style. First couldn't carry Khaotung on his back even during OF (I think??). So I don't think Renowned Wife Man can really afford to be hanging out with other Wives without his CP taking a hit.

...Or Khaotung has him on a strict social schedule from where he's locked First up in his basement. Either theory should be comforting in regards to your anxiety over FirstKhao moving on.

They're not. As @deliriousblue has so eloquently put:

[thydungeongal]

Hi, same anon obsessed with morality.

Okay, I admit that my ask was a bit too emotional because non-evil original roleplaying games exist even in sword and sorcery style (World of Dungeons and Oracle are some I would recommend), and existence of Gondal setting testifies that it's not a male thing in any way.

However, my probably naive concern goes a little further - I don't play D&D, but I use it for monsters and settings. It's hard to invent absolutely everything from a scratch, you know? But this leads to an ethical concern I have - doing this is still feeding into D&D hegemony and embracing Gygax's and Arneson's rotten legacy (though I am starting to think that Gygax was a lesser evil, holy fuck). And let's not fool ourselves here - derivative games like Pathfinder or Knave are still their legacy (though maybe Cairn isn't, I am not sure).

So like, what are options of games that are generic fantasy that have a lot of monsters and settings to steal and that are also both not "D&D but different" and aren't objectively evil?

I know literally a handful of candidates, so I am asking your followers to share. And no, Warhammer isn't such game.

What I remember is:

Fantasy Age is not without a sin, but it's presented as "you can depict these demi-humans as equal people or you can be a hitler, it's up to you", so progress I guess?

Jackals is built on OpenQuest and is pretty generic if you exclude it being about bronze age, but I remember some potentially creepy details of how it treats demi-humans

Blue Rose looks the most morally fine, but it's not exactly generic

Lightmaster is ugh, because it doesn't have inherently evil demi-humans, but it has inherently different demi-humans who are always savages, so it's a thin ice (though otherwise it's a blast)

D6 Fantasy doesn't really have monsters in core book, but there are probably third-party bestiaries that may even not be vile

GURPS does have bestiaries of fantasy creatures, but I don't know anything about their morality

IDK about rolemaster, but you said that it's not good.

So like, which extremely ethical non-OSR heartbreaker that was published ever am I missing? Should I look into Das Schwarze Auge, or does it suck the same way?

Ultimately I think you're thinking about this too much to your own detriment. It's good to be aware of the fact that lots of (especially older) fantasy stuff does carry some fucked up expectations and approach it with a critical eye so you don't end up replicating it, but if you become single-minded in your pursuit of the perfect, unproblematic fantasy RPG you're not only setting yourself up for disappointment but also denying yourself a lot of stuff that's good but flawed.

Anyway, not a game but a supplement for OSR games, but Skerples' Monster Overhaul is pretty good in this regard and does this via simply accepting the revolutionary paradigm of "orcs are just some guys."

Another game out of the left field, Chivalry & Sorcery is really surprising in this regard, because it's the sort of game that gives off vibes of being written by "the presence of women in a medieval setting is extremely inaccurate" types, but the authors actually make a point of saying that player enjoyment and comfort should always take precedence over adherence to historicity when it comes to issues like players wanting to play women or queer characters. But it's in its treatment of orcs and trolls (and as far as I've understood, dwarves and elves too, but I haven't read that supplement yet) where it gets really cooking. Chivalry & Sorcery is a game written by medieval history nerds and they wanted their game's worldbuilding to adhere to a medieval European paradigm. So when it came to adding orcs into the game the authors asked "how would orcs fit into the worldview of a medieval Christian?"

The answer is that just as medieval Christian philosophers mused that if cynocephali or those guys who only had one big foot were to exist then surely they must be just some guys, orcs would also have to be just some guys. This means that they would be human in terms of having been created by God and tracing descent to Adam and Eve and also could receive the eucharist and be saved.

Anyway, all of which is to say that the middle ages were woke,

[contentloadingandstuff]

Ah. I didn't finish the last one, so you could discard that one. Maybe a few girls of your choosing plus Yelan with a super nice, caring, and gentle S/O that doesn't want to have sex and the reason to that is because he has a 4 inch pp. Maybe he feels insecure that when they found out they would leave him? Maybe some reassurance from the girls that they wouldn't leave him or something.

Powerful Genshin girls comforting a small S/O

A/N: I hope you like it, anon!

Characters: Yae Miko, Yelan & Ningguang

CW: Male!Reader, smutiness.

Miko narrows her eyes as you speak. When you're done, she keeps still, staring you dead in the eye. Then, she blinks once. Twice. 

"You can't be serious."

You look down, ashamed. But before you can apologize, Miko quickly steps towards you, aiming her finger at your chest. Her eyes glimmer pink with Electro. You instinctively raise your hands and start backing up. With every word she jabs your chest. Not nearly enough to hurt you, but painful all the same. 

"You are telling me you didn't bed me because you were insecure about your dick? Is that right??" 

You nod shyly. "Yes…" 

"And…" She looks you square in the eye. "... you were scared that I would leave you for a dick???" 

"I… yes…" 

You're against the wall now. Miko growls, and pins her hands on the wall on the sides of your head. 

"Oh, this is not only idiotic, but downright insulting."

You look down, blushing slightly in embarrassment. It really was stupid of you to think that. You open your mouth to apologize, but she immediately covers it with her hand. 

"You've said enough. To think so low of me… Hm! Let me make something clear, Y/N." She points at your crotch. "This? The appeal of this is that it's attached to you, and not the other way around. I don't care if it's microscopic or monstrous, because as long as it is yours, I want it. Did I make myself clear?" 

You nod. 

"Good." She grabs your chin with her hand, forcing you to look in her eyes. "Now… I want to take you, you big idiot, for a test ride. You'll be lucky to have a single thought after what I'll do to you, my dear."

Yelan smiles softly. 

"Oh? Is that right?" Yelan chuckles. "That's a relief, actually. You got me thinking that you want to break up, or you don't really like me."

"Well… sorry."

Your girlfriend raises her brow and smirks. "For what exactly?" 

"For being this way, I guess. For not being able to satisfy you."

“You're really quick to make assumptions, aren't you? What makes you think that?"

Yelan moves behind you, dragging her fingertips over the curve of your back."I… well, if it's small there's no fun, right?" 

She laughs, and snakes her hands around your stomach. You feel her chin rest on your shoulder. 

"You're so cute, you know that? And a little oblivious as well…" She caresses your chest, scratching at it lightly with her nails. "You can use much more than just your shaft, hm? How about those hands? They give the best massages I've ever experienced… You're also a great kisser with a more than agile tongue… Oh, just look at me. Daydreaming about just what mileage I can get out of your body…" 

She slowly pulls her hands and face away. Before she fully retreats, she gives you a small kiss on your cheek. You turn around, blushing. “Yelan…?”

She laughs, mockingly, but there’s no bite to it. 

“What? Now you want it? Oh Y/N…” She stretches out her hand towards you. “Alright, but no more of those pointless anxieties. I love you no matter what you have or don’t have. Can you do that for me?”

You take her hand.

“I will… thank you, my love.”

“No problem. Now come on, there’s no time to waste. I need some… answers.”

Ningguang inhales her pipe calmly, looking at you with her signature, expecting expression. She exhales the smoke, and shakes her head. 

"You men are all the same, aren't you?"

"What…?" 

She sighs. "It's all a competition for you. Even the stupidest things. Like who has the biggest salary, status, cock. It's so infantile."

She raises from her seat, and approaches you slowly. Her every step echoes through the Jade Chamber. She stands before you, hands crossed over her chest. 

"It's foolish because you never compare what actually matters. You never compare what's here." She places her hand on your chest, right over your beating heart. "You never compete over how big your heart is, how beautiful and colorful your soul is. Loyalty, passion, devotion… Do those not matter to you?" 

You avoid her eyes, embarrassed. 

"I'm sorry for bothering you, Ningguang." 

"No, don't be. It's a natural concern. Does it make you feel any less of a man, perhaps?" 

You don't answer right away, instead taking your time to think over her words. Before you can answer, she continues. 

"A man's value doesn't lie in what he carries between his legs, my love. It lies in what he holds dear, in his values and his personality. You are caring, loving, protective and loyal. You know how to treat me right. Is that not enough proof of your validity?"

"I… suppose you're right. Thank you Ningguang." 

She smiles, and sets down her spent pipe. She places her hand on your cheek, and closes in for a kiss. 

"You're welcome. Any time you feel like you're not enough, come to me and I'll remind you of just how valuable you are to me. Alright?" 

"Alright."

Your lips meet in a soft kiss.

Thanks for reading!