#and. i mean also. i had to find my pet passed away this morning which. really really really is not helping

[cellgatinbo]

(having a devastatingly bad day, generally feel like absolute shit, feeling a headache approaching) you know exactly what'll fix all this. max volume vocaloid blasting from my speakers 👍

[hiveswap]

Summary of The Cat of The Year poll atrocities of 2023/2024

I'm sure that most people on this side of tumblr have seen the Jellie vs. Nefarious Anglerfish poll going around with like 60k votes at this point, and I'd really like clear up some of what happened since I was around for the whole thing.

Url blocked out for op's privacy. They have already left but don't look for it if you haven't seen it/don't harrass them if you already have.

1. The previous round (preparation)

I discovered the poll in its previous round, needless to say she beat Jort's ass severely. This was around the 3rd of january, meaning that this round finished before jellie's passing with only about 7k votes. Op did add their own piece of propaganda from their main:

...which was FINE. (except for stuff we'll see later) Of course running a poll while biased isn't ideal but I for one didn't even know they were the op until much later. I also added my own piece in a separate thread, and they didn't interact with it at all. There was no drama.

2. The Finale

Jellie unfortunately passed away right before the starting of this poll, which was the catalyst for what happened next. Op did exactly as last time and added a slightly more mean spirited encouragement to vote for the other contestant. This is the point where I believe that i fucked up personally.

I added this thinkpiece accusing op of associating all mcyters with Dream (who we all hate for the record) despite them not alluding to him at all. This is because tumblr has a history of disimissing all mcyters as... everything that dream was been accused of. Op did allude to not caring for mcyt. but they didn't say what i accused them of. This is important to point out because this reblog of mine is still being spread. Jellie was in the lead at the time, but not by the time i woke up next morning.

I won't be including anyone else's additions because I don't want to put blame on any specific person. Just felt like clearing up mine.

3. The Fuckening

Some time later op made this post to their personal blog:

which is insanely shitty because, as other people have pointed out, the "lame ass youtube cat" didn't die to inconvinience op or ruin their fun, and people would have probably voted for her anyway because jelly is universally beloved in the mcyt community. This isn't anti democratic. This post was added to the poll with a caption saying op should not be running this poll, and it took off. Op later went on to say that this was a joke:

This apology was not taken well by people, (including me) because "you were not meant to see it" isn't an apology and they still very much made fun of someone's pet dying. Safe to say this did not make the drama stop and only added fuel to the flame. I believe this was the point where the conversation of mcyt fans being unjustly sent hate to was reignited.

We should discuss that! it's a real thing that happens often and is equal to childish bullying. However, in this case, OP was the only one getting sent hate to my knowledge. The notes were mostly saturated by mcyt fans, and even now i can only find one or two hateful stance towards us under the whole 20k notes post.

4. Conclusions

Op posted a second apology to the catoftheyear blog to try and calm people down (i believe this is comprehensive and a lot better than the previous one) The blog was deactivated shortly after, so i only have my phone screenshots of it that i also added to the poll itself at some point:

(Edit) Here's proof that op did not write the justification they got criticised for, from the notes of the original poll:

This apology didn't get seen, or get accepted by enough people, so op made this statement on their personal:

Needless to say I am deeply dissapointed (and guilty) that it's come to this. Yes, op said tasteless things that made us all angry, but telling a human being to commit suicide is worse than being insensitive about a stranger's pet dying. Even after I posted about the blog being decatived i had someone come into my notes to wish that "they never find happiness" i mean wtf. This isn't like shipping where we can do whatever without the content creator's input. this is fucking harrowing and i can't imagine how i'd feel if this was done in my/my pet's name especially after losing them as recently as a week ago.

I hope no one from hermitcraft who is on here (let alone scar holy shit) learns about this like they did with previous lighthearted tournaments. If you truly respect the creators you claim to be a fan of as people, you do not tell people to kill themselves over them. And finally, let Jellie fucking rest, guys. she had a long, good life. I hope op can come back and also avoids behaving like this if they ever wish to do so. I'm angrier at mcytblr, though.

[huggybearhughes43]

Idk if you’ve ever watched the Netflix movie “through my window” but there’s this one scene where the girl and the guy are laying in bed together and he slips his hand into her panties and starts to finger her while they’re in bed with someone else. They aren’t together and lowkey it’s like enemies with lots of sexual tension.

Anyway I was thinking that with Ethan Edwards? Maybe the reader is really good friends with the other umich boys and ends up going back to their house after a party and she’s inbetween Ethan and one of the other boys even though her and Ethan kind of can’t stand each other and he has his arm around her and starts to kinda of touch her everywhere which makes her involuntarily move against him and they end up having sex together

Pretty Girl

Ethan Edwards x Fem! Reader

Warnings- smut, fingering, finger sucking (teehee), sharing the bed, pet names (pretty girl, brat, baby), Ethan is mean but gentle, very soft, riding, creampie (she’s on the pill), I think that’s it???

Summary- in the request

Work count- 1.5k

Drunken laughter filled Marks apartment as him and his teammates cram into the small place. But me? I was the designated driver to get back to this said apartment. It was nearly two in the morning, making me fearful to drive back onto campus to my dorm, if I was caught I’d be in big trouble for being out past curfew. Instead Marks little drunk giggles were in my ear while his girlfriend was asleep in his arms.

“I have a quest room” he says in a lame excuse for a hushed whisper. It was a wonder how Farah was still asleep on his chest. “But like…” he hiccups, “Ethan and Rut are sleeping in there” another hiccup from the drunk boy, “I’m sure you can find room”. I sigh softly, I can’t complain when he’s giving me a place to stay. I nod reluctantly and stand up, making my way to the spare room. The source of the drunkenness was the hockey seniors going away party. It was just pretty much the team and their girlfriends… and you know, me: the media girl.

Rutger was passed out on the right side of the bed when I walk in, drool on the corner of his mouth as his soft snore echoed in the room. He didn’t even care to attempt to wipe off the lipstick marks from his girlfriend Kayleigh as they were plastered all over his face. I was mildly surprised she wasn’t here, they were normally inseparable but I guessed her friends had taken her back to their place.

Ethan was sat up against the headboards with an arm behind his head, scrolling through his phone. I hated his guts. He was always stuck up and made snarky comments. He let his fame get in the way of a friendship with me, always thinking he was better than everyone else. But in reality, me the media, gave him his fame. I didn’t care to fix it though, I never let it bother me. Until now that is, his eyes meeting mine with a scoff. I narrow my eyes in disgust. “Mark told me I can sleep in here, he also said for you two to make room for me.” Ethan’s eyes look down at the floor. “A lot of room left down there.” I roll my eyes and step towards the bed.

I ignore his request as I crawl on the bed and squeeze between him and Rutger. “Go fuck yourself” I mutter and turn my back to him, so squished my face was practically pressed into the back of the snoring boy. I wiggle myself under the covers and close my eyes, slowly drifting to sleep. In my deep slumber I could feel a body lay beside me and an arm wrap around my waist. Normally, I’d be quick to push anyone off but in this state I couldn’t tell between a dream and reality.

My eyes flutter open to soft breaths against my neck. Rutger was still in front of me. My face heats up at the realization of who had me wrapped in their arms. I knew he wasn’t asleep because his soft thumb rubbing back and forth on my hip. I turn my head slightly. “What’re you doing, Ethan?” He groans softly with no response. “Ethan, I’m serio-“ I was cut off by his hand moving closer to the center on my stomach, just above the waistband on my sweatpants. “Do you ever know when to shut up?” He laughs softly as he moves his hand all over my stomach, hips, then eventually lifting it under my tank top to cup my bare breasts.

“Ethan.” I warn in a faint whisper, hoping I wouldn’t wake up Rutger. “What? Do you want me to stop? Hate me all you want but you know this feels good.” He chuckles as I gasp when he pinches one of my nipples. I don’t respond. “That’s why at I thought.” He laughs and presses a kiss to my shoulder. “Just wanted to thank you for looking out for us at the party. You’re still a brat, but thank you” a sudden realization hits me. “Ethan- you’re drunk” I try to swat his hand away “I didn’t touch a single drop of alcohol all night, pretty girl.” I let out a relieved sigh.

His large hand makes its way into my sweatpants and under my panties. I feel him smile against my shoulder when he slots a finger between my folds. I whimper softly and reach my hand down to hold his wrist, not to stop him but as support. “So wet for me.” He presses another sloppy kiss to my shoulder. Without warning his finger dips into my wet hole making me accidentally moan out. His other hand moves to wrap around my neck and cover my mouth. “I wanna hear those pretty moans so bad but we can’t wake him up”. He begins to thrust his thick finger in and out of my hole, I moan against his hand but it was still loud enough to potentially wake up Rutger.

“Fuck,” he removes his hand just to stuff two fingers into my mouth, “keep these warm for me, pretty girl.”. He works another finger into me. I screw my eyes shut and force myself to suck his fingers to block a moan. He removes his fingers from both my pussy and mouth causing me to whine. “Y/n, baby, my cock will feel so much better.” A quiet “oh” falls from my lips causing him to chuckle. He flips me over to face him and our eyes meet. I’m suddenly reminded that this is the same guy that pisses me off every single day. “It’s probably tiny.” I say without thinking. I expected him to get mad but instead a smirk plays on his lips. “Don’t be a fucking brat.”

He loops his fingers in my waistband and pulls them down enough for me to be able to kick them off. He doesn’t touch my panties in case rutger wakes up, he doesn’t want me to be completely exposed. In some strange way I find it cute that he’d protect me from another guys gaze. He pulls his own pants down just enough for his dick to spring free. He grabs one of my legs and places it over his hip, moving my panties to the side and pressing his dick to my entrance. I bite my lip at the realization that there was no way he was small. He laughs softly at my reaction and presses his forehead to mine. “It’s hard to admit you’re wrong huh, brat? Don’t worry, though…” he presses a soft and quick kiss to my lips then pulls away slightly, “I’ll go slow for you.”

He slowly presses into me, stretching me out in ways I didn’t know was possible. “Ethan…” I whisper. “I know, pretty girl, I’m almost all the way in.” As he finishes the sentence he bottoms out. My mouth falls agape and my eyes squeeze shut. He knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my moans in if he moved so for precaution, he forcefully pressed his lips into mine before moving. He snakes his hand around me and grabs my ass. He moves back, his tip was the only thing left in me before he slams back in. My moans are swallowed by his kiss. Rutger stirs causing Ethan to completely stop. “M’sorry, baby, but for this to work you’re gonna have to ride me.”

I whine softly and hoist myself on top of him. “There you go baby, don’t feel like being a brat anymore, huh?”. I let out a shaky breath before rounding my hips on him. My head drops to his shoulder as I rock back and forth sloppily. “There you go, pretty girl, just like that. Fuck, making me feel like I can cum already. “Ethan-“ I gasp out as I tighten around him. “I’m on the pill-“ my tummy tightens as my legs shake. Without warning my cream creates a ring around his cock. I stop moving out of exhaustion. Ethan chuckles softly and moves my hips for me, lifting me up and down on his cock. “Gonna fill you up, baby… you want me to fill you up?” He teases and I tiredly nod against his shoulder. His hips snap up into me as he holds me down, his thick ropes of cum filling me up.

I lift up off of him and fall back onto the bed. I re adjust my panties and put my sweatpants back on in case his cum leaked out of my swollen pussy. After he fixes his pants he pulls me into him. “M’sorry for being an asshole” he kisses my forehead, “I won’t stop but I am sorry.” I laugh quietly and nestle into his chest.

“Yeah well now I know how I can shut you up.”

[espinosaurusrexex]

Bingo prompt: Steve Rogers with the period cramps prompts please!!!!

Here it is, babes! Thank you so much for participating 💕💗

Period Cramps (Bingo Game)

!BINGO ASKS CLOSED!

SteveRogers x Female!Reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: fluff, periods being bitches, boyfriend goals Steve

Perks of dating a Super Soldier? Well, they are super fit and strong. Also, the stamina? Ugh, that’s a whole new category of awesome. But they also never get sick... or periods. Which means, they sometimes forget that normal people do...

“Hey doll, are you ready?” Steve’s voice traveled through the apartment. You heard him place his keys on the counter and then his heavy footsteps came down the hallway. 

Hastily, you sat up on the bed and wiped the tears away. You hated being on your period. And while being reminded that you were not pregnant was a pretty nice thing every once in a while, it still sucked to be in utter pain once a month. Today, the cramps had been particularly bad, starting off with a great morning of lack of taste, and continuing with an even more torturous afternoon of finding that one position that hurt less than any other. You were exhausted, and you felt like crap.

Steve and your relationship was fairly new. Yes, he had the keys to your apartment (but that was because he watered your plants when you were away one time and insisted on having them for “emergencies”). And yes, the two of you were basically already like an old married couple (really, it was crazy how well you adapted to each other’s routines). But despite all this, he had yet to see you at the worst phase of your period. Today, however, you had dinner plans and because you were so knocked out by good old aunt flow this morning, you had totally forgotten to cancel on him.

The door to your bedroom opened carefully and not even a second later, Steve’s smiley blonde head popped through the gap. “Good evening, sweetheart.” He purred in that seductively deep voice of his, and then his full body filled the frame. 

Man, you would never get tired of this. The pet names, the broad shoulders, that charming smile... But before you could gift him your love dazed eyes, another cramp squeezed your insides and pulled a whiny groan from your lips. 

Steve immediately straightened up. “What’s wrong?” He asked as he approached you on the bed, his large hand encasing your face, brows dipping in concern. “Have you been crying, love?”

That was it for you. The tears welled up again, making you a sobbing mess in your boyfriend’s arms. He pulled you in and rocked you soothingly and you loved it, really, but at the same time, you were so mad at yourself for crying again. You hated crying. You hated feeling like this. You hated your freaking uterus. Why? Why?!

This all just lead to more crying and frustration, but Steve didn’t say a word. He was just there, making sure you knew that he’d give you all the time in the world to let it all out - whatever it was, because he was still clueless. 

“I’m sorry.” You pulled away after a while. “I was so excited about today, and I already had an outfit ready, and I-” you cried again - god, this was exhausting. “But I got my period this morning and the cramps are-” you buried your face in your hands to silence the stupid sobs when another cramp washed over you, but there was no use. “Ow,” you mumbled when the wave of pain subsided. 

Steve’s hands pulled yours away from your face carefully. His blue eyes held yours for a moment, silent empathy passing between you. “Never apologize for that, you hear me?” His thumb grazed over your forehead, the slightly heated skin relaxing your frown. “What can I do for you, honey?”

Mildly embarrassed and exhausted, you exhaled a long breath. You didn’t usually cry, most people didn't notice when you were on your period at all, but today was just a little too much of everything added on top of each other. And you were just so hungry too. All that pain had prevented you from getting up for anything but the bathroom. Food hadn’t even been on your mind until now.

“Is it okay if we stay in tonight?” 

He smiled, seemingly relieved you responded well to his question. “Of course. Have you eaten anything today? Drink enough water? Tea?” He was up before you knew it but halting in anticipation of your answer. Steve still had that smile on his face, a little encouragement you didn’t know you needed.

“I haven’t had the energy to cook...”

He leaned down again, grabbing your face gently and kissing you softly. “Hey, hey. That’s okay. I’ll whip us something up. What do you want? Breakfast for dinner?”

“That sounds amazing.” You smiled at him and Steve’s eyes lit up. 

-❁-

You had made your way to the kitchen when you heard pots and pans clanging down the hall. Steve was standing by the small island, his button-up sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the top button undone. You just sat at the table and watched his handsome self roam through your cabinets in search of ingredients and utensils. And for the first time in the day, you were not focused on the pain in your body. 

It wasn’t long before you and Steve cuddled up on the sofa after some nice pancakes and Tea, a negligible rom-com playing on the TV and lighting up the darkening room. 

You had your back pressed up to Steve’s chest as you both watched the TV with little interest. His body heat proved to be perfect for your cramps as his entire body encased yours. His hand found your lower stomach almost immediately, a soothing warm hand covering the skin when it slipped beneath your sweatpants, making a content sigh escape your lips. 

Steve had managed to turn this whole day upside down. And the soothing heat keeping your cramps at bay was just the cherry on top. 

“Are you comfortable?” He whispered lowly behind your ear, a meaningful kiss pressed to your neck when you hummed in response. 

You already had your eyes closed, it was impossible not to. All the trouble of the day had exhausted you too much. And the way Steve cared for you, made sure you were well and comfortable, adjusting pillows and blankets to find the best position for the both of you left sleep to finally take over your body. 

“Sleep well, my love,” her pressed another kiss to your temple, his lips lingering for a moment longer though. “I love you.”

...Perks of dating a super soldier? They’re very warm and cuddly. And especially Steve serves as the perfect heating pad and cuddle buddy for when you’re feeling a bit under the weather :)

**and this is just a little bonus that has nothing to do with the text above but I wrote it down first and didn’t want to keep it from you**

“I got chocolate, tampons, flowers, cheese, and magazines.”

“Cheese?”

“Well, I know you like cheese.”

“That- That’s very sweet of you, babe.”

“Oh no... please don’t cry. I can throw the cheese away. I’m sorry.”

“No, I do love cheese. No one ever brought me cheese.”

*Steve hugs you real tight while you calm down*

“Are you okay? Should we put the cheese away?”

“Yes.”

“Cuddles?”

“Yes, please.”

Wanna be added to the Taglist?

@fangirl-swagg @royalwritersoftheuniverses @circe143 @valkyrie418 @mirikusashes @noideawhyimdoingthislol @nikkitc0703 @lethallyprotected @erynnnn @misshale21 @wattpaduser200

[violetteshoneybee]

CHERRY TREE

husband!remus x wife!reader ; fluff

In which remus and his wife are waking up beside each other in their newly bought house

0.8 k

The sheets moved swiftly around you, their soft fabric complimenting your gracious body. You were asleep with your hair spread across your face and falling in a cascade on your back and arms. You were feeling warm. Not the uncomfortable warm, though, the one you feel when waking up and tightening the blanket around you. You also felt safe. This was something you loved. An arm passed over your waist as a protection to keep you in bed and close and warm. You loved waking up and feeling the heaviness of your husband’s arm. Remus was always one to go to sleep late, the one not to sleep at all even. But since you two had settled in this cosy place, he was spending more and more time with you in bed. He would often fall asleep before you as you played with his hair and massaged his scalp. Remus felt home between your arms. He had hidden for so many years that being able to be himself and not be afraid of hurting someone was just heaven to him. You and Remus had found that old water mill house some months ago, and you two fell in love with its peaceful atmosphere. The house was in a quiet neighbourhood surrounded by a lovely little cottage with extensive gardens and vergés.

The forest on the other side of the little river was beautiful and perfect for Remus to spend his full moons. You felt reassured to know he wasn’t too far from you during this time of the month. Thanks to your good wedges, you could get some wolfsbane for him, and you knew that Remus would pass the long nights wandering in the forest. You imagined he would follow the fairies around and run after the little magical creature. Remus saw a future with you here, and you were forever grateful. It had been so hard to find an isolated place to protect your husband from the others. It felt unreal to establish somewhere like here. 

The feeling of the cover being torn away from you stopped your reasoning, and you turned around to look at your gorgeous husband rolled into the covers. 

‘I love you, Lupin. But you promised to share all your belongings, that includes the cover.’ You said, tickling his nose with your pinky as you watched him softly blink his eyes open. 

‘I don’t think it means all my belongings. I’m sure there’s some kind of exception for the sheets, cover and probably the food too.’ You chuckled at his comment and kissed him.’Good morning, dove.’

‘Good morning, darling.’ You smiled. ‘Did you sleep well?’ 

He nodded and stretched his arms over his head before wrapping you in them. 

‘I slept alright, and you? Are you hungry? We’ve got some fruits. The neighbours gave them.’ 

‘Slowly, Rem.’ You kissed his hand and gently put it in your hair.

‘One at a time?’

‘One at a time.’ 

Remus sighed and started petting your hair, wrapping his long, thin fingers around the strands. In this instant, he thought he would have been more than happy to die beside you and keep this as the last thing he would see in his life. You were his everything, after all. You had been there for him when he needed comfort back at school and would be with him when he grew old. And more than anything, you were with him right now, right at this instant. You were giving him this look full of love and caring, and he swore he had never seen a more beautiful thing in his life than your bright smile and tired eyes looking at him. He was eternally madly in love with you. Remus was sure of that because he knew that if you were an ocean, he would let himself drown. If you were a fire, he would eat himself burn, and before all this, if you were the earth, the dirt beneath the grass, he let his body crawl to you and rot. Remus would love you even if you killed him because you only mattered now. Remus never thought he would have the chance to be loved and love like this. Ever since Remus was a child, he saw how dangerous love could be for others, and he wanted nothing dangerous for his loved ones. But his soul deceived him the day he saw you under that cherry tree, in your little lime green dress with your hair tied with a ribbon. Remus knew he was doomed right at that moment. He knew he was your slave for eternity. 

‘… Rem? Are you listening?’ 

‘Sorry, darling. What did you say?’

‘You know, sometimes I really wish to know what’s going on in that head of yours.’ You scoffed and slowly made your way up. ‘I was saying we should slow down on heavy food. I think I took some weight.’ 

‘Oh, but my darling, I’m the happiest man alive if I can get more of you.’ 

source dividers: @cottage-writings

tag list : @masivechaos @padfootagain​

[sgt-seabass]

Prompt 15 about a hike turning to a chase, I would love that to be with nick from clockwork AU. Loved the short thrill of when puppy attempted to escape the first time, but would love to see it with the new bond they have (maybe Nick goes a bit mad thinking puppy isn't truly broken for a sec?). Thank you, I think your writing is fabulous.

𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆��𝒑

✧˚ · . 𝘕𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦.

pairing — mob boss!alpha!nick fowler x omega!reader w/c — 4.2k this is a dark fic. 18+ only. part of the Clockwork AU. warnings — a/b/o elements, pet names (omega, puppy, pup), chasing, hunting, minor injury to reader, minor injury to Nick, minor blood, guns, knives, major stockholm syndrome, kissing, general dark shit idk a/n — thank you so much for the ask bubs! i love it. and i'm so glad you're enjoying the AU! i hope you like it. also big thank you to @lunarbuck for beta reading, you're amazing. any mistakes are my own.

The sun filtered through the kitchen window as you sat at the counter, picking at the bacon and eggs on your plate. Nick’s kitchen staff often prepared your meals, leaving you feeling inadequate. But it was always delicious, so you couldn’t complain too much.

As usual, Nick was up early and in his office, his work calling him away. Sometimes you sat in the office with him when he felt needy, but you enjoyed your moments alone. You never truly had solace, though, as you could feel Nick’s presence through the bond or would be checked in on by Mace, Beck, or one of Nick’s many men.

You hadn’t made a fuss since you were broken four weeks ago, but that didn’t mean Nick trusted you to behave.

Honestly, there wasn’t much reason to lash out. Nick treated you well, ensuring you were fed and fucked until you passed out every night. Sometimes it was as if he had a competition with himself to see how many orgasms he could pull from your body. You got a little bored while he worked long hours, but Nick had every streaming service possible, and the dogs would sit with you.

You weren’t allowed outside without supervision, so sometimes you’d sit by the window in the lounge room and just peer out. Occasionally, you’d see the omegas being moved to and from the barn. Those were the worst days. Letting Nick claim your body on those nights was the hardest, something within you fighting to resurface. But you never won those battles, and you’d be screaming Nick’s name before long into the starry night.

There was movement behind you as you scooped some eggs onto your fork, and your heart skipped a beat when Nick’s scent wafted into the room. You turned, surprised to see your alpha behind you. Your brows raised at the sight of his navy, cosy, fluffy jumper that covered his hulking frame and black skinny jeans that showed off his ass. That certainly wasn’t what he wore to work. And he hardly ever left his office during the daytime unless he had to oversee shipments or deal with a severe work problem. “Alpha?”

“Why do you look so surprised to see me, omega?” Nick chuckled, moving to the counter where you sat. He took the fork from your grip, bringing the eggs to your mouth to feed you. “Good girl. I always like seeing my omega eat well. Means you’ll have lots of energy. I want my puppy to be nice and healthy.”

You nodded with heated cheeks, still not used to the praise Nick would occasionally gift you. Normally if he was friendly, he would have something scheming in the background. 

Just like now.

“It’s playtime, puppy. I’ve taken the rest of the morning off to spend some time with you.” Nick brought another forkful to your mouth, which you hesitatingly took. You were apprehensive. You’d never had play time before and feared finding out what it meant.

“Playtime?” You questioned, voice meek as you wished the ground would come and swallow you up. Nick always had you feeling small, like a bug he could crush under his boot.

“Alpha wants to play a game called hunt the whelp.”

You blinked, giving him a confused look with knitted brows. “What?”

“You’re cute when you’re dumb, puppy. C’mon, put your runners on. The new ones I got you this morning.” Nick pulled you from the counter, hand wrapped around your wrist as he brought you to the front door. He’d shown you the new pink runners this morning but said they were for special occasions. Playtime must be special if you get to wear them.

Sitting on the bench by the door, you watched as Nick knelt before you, picking up the fresh new shoes and slipping them onto your feet. You noticed the change immediately. The runners were heavy, instantly pulling your feet to the ground. You bit your lower lip as Nick focused on doing up the laces, triple knotting them so they’d hold despite the weight pulling you down.

“There we go. Perfect fit, right, pup?” Nick grinned up at you, patting your knee before standing. “Wait here.”

It’s not like you could get very far anyway. You testingly raised your foot, frowning at how difficult it was. They weren’t going to be impossible to walk in, but they also weren’t going to be easy.

The jingling of a bell signalled Nick’s return. Your breath hitched in your throat at the sight of the matching pink collar, a small bell shaped like a strawberry hanging on the front. “A-Alpha— I—“

Nick advanced, holding the collar above you, shaking it. “I thought you liked pink. And the staff tell me how you eat all the strawberries you can. I’ve started buying extra just for you.”

“I— I do like them. But—“

“Then this collar is perfect for you, no?” Nick’s eyes darkened a fraction, danger laced in his tone. 

There were eggshells all over the floor, and if you weren’t careful, you would wake the beast that lay dormant in your alpha.

It felt like stones in your throat were weighing you down, like your shoes. “I-It’s perfect…” You conceded, too scared to deny your alpha as he towered over you.

“I’m glad you agree, puppy.” Nick placed the collar around your neck, snapping the latching mechanism together so it was secured. You heard a little beep as Nick locked the collar with his fingerprint. Any plans you had of taking it off were quickly squashed.

You stayed silent. What was there to say anyway?

Nick pulled you to stand, and the bell jingled with the movement. He smirked at you, cocking his head before looping his fingers through the collar.

Without warning, Nick tugged you closer, pulling you up so you were standing on the balls of your feet. His lips ghosted over yours, his hot breath fanning across your face. “You look very cute, omega. My good little puppy, aren’t you? And good little puppies get to play.”

The dead, almost forgotten part of you wanted to tell him to fuck off. But your hindbrain was preening from the attention.

“Let’s go. Just looking at you like this is getting me excited.”

Not waiting for your approval, Nick picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist with your chest against his. Even with the added weight of the shoes, Nick carried you like you weighed nothing, displaying his prime alpha strength.

You let your chin rest on his shoulder, your fingers running across the soft material of his jumper. Nick’s scent never failed to give you butterflies, and he chuckled as you dragged your nose across the scent gland on his neck. You could see the tops of his tattoos, and something about the black ink made him even more endearing as if his skin was a storybook for you to unveil.

Not that Nick ever granted you much insight into his mind. He was near impossible to read, and you knew next to nothing about his past, or his plans for the future. He was a closed book, only allowing you snippets of his life to bleed through into your world.

As he made his way through the mansion with you latched to him, Nick grabbed a duffle bag by the back door, slinging it over his shoulder. You were both scared and curious to see what it contained.

“It’s such a nice day, omega, isn’t it?” Nick said as he carried you out the back door and into the sunlight shining across the backyard.

“Mm, yes.” You mumbled into Nick’s shoulder, enjoying the way the heated rays warmed your skin and provided life essence to your soul. Like a plant, you wanted to grow towards the light and let it fuel your being.

You passed the barn, refusing to look at it as Nick brought you to the edge of the lawn, where grass met forest. Luckily, there were no sounds of distressed omegas around, and it put you more at ease.

Sensing your anxiousness, Nick placed his palm on the small of your back to hold you close. “Don’t think about them.”

But how could you not? Nick could attempt to pull the wool over your eyes, but you’d always know where his wealth and power came from. Exploitation. Your alpha was not a good man. But he was your alpha, and that meant there really wasn’t much you could do about it. Fighting against a force so much more powerful than your own only ended up with you hurt. And you’d had more than enough pain to last you many lifetimes.

Nick brought you to a spot you had been before when you first ran from him when brought to his mansion. Where you fell, and the dogs laid with you before Nick and his men arrived. Back when you had a yearning for a normal life.

He placed you down, your feet sinking into the plush earth with the weighted shoes on your feet.

“Are you ready to play, puppy?” Nick put the bag down and unzipped it. The sight of the contents had your eyes widening and a gasp falling past your lips. A gun. Not just any firearm. But a rifle fitted with a scope for extra accuracy.

“What.. are you hunting?” You knew the answer. But you didn’t want to admit it to yourself.

“You, of course. You get to go on a hike, puppy. And all you have to do is avoid my slugs. It’s simple.” Slinging the gun over his shoulder, Nick approached you, cupping your cheek with his warm palm. You snuggled your face into it, hoping to hide away from the sick game he wanted to play.

“Can’t we just stay here? I— I don’t want to run,” you murmured against his palm, and Nick cracked up.

“Oh, now you don’t want to run, huh?” His hand patted your cheek before he gripped your chin tightly. “I took the morning off work just to play with you. Don’t be ungrateful.”

“But—”

Nick growled, grabbing you rougher. “Unless the next words out of your mouth are ‘thank you, alpha, for taking time off for me,’ I don’t want to fucking hear it.”

“T-Thank you.” You blurted out, primarily out of habit.

“Thank me properly.”

With no room for argument, you reached up to press a chaste kiss to Nick’s lips, your hands resting on his shoulders. Just like you’d been taught. Nick always had you giving kisses as apologies. “Thank you for taking time off for me, alpha.”

“My good girl. Wasn’t that hard, was it?” Nick smoothed his hands over your chiffon dress. Pink. Like your shoes and collar. Nick said it was all for you, but you know he enjoyed dressing you prettily. Like his little puppy doll.

It certainly wasn’t hiking attire.

“You have a five-minute head start. When you hear a shot, you’ll know I’m coming for you.” Nick checked his watch before turning his attention to you. With a raised brow, he shooed at you, hands swatting you away. “Go on, don’t want to waste your head start.”

You stuttered in place. Did he really expect you to run? The look Nick gave you, with a fucking rifle slung over his shoulder, told you he wasn’t joking.

Maybe you could get out of here. Find a road and hail someone down.

The thought had you turning on your heel and bolting. Your speed as an omega was handy, and even with the weighted shoes, you could make a semi-fast pace. Tension tore through your body as you ran, muscles already screaming from the strain of dragging your feet along.

The trees were somewhat sparse in this area, and it made for easy running as you leaped over logs and avoided thick branches. You shivered into the chilly air, the trees covering the sun and causing the temperature to drop. With each bounding step, your shoes became more dirtied, brown earth covering your lower legs.

The bell of your collar rang like an ominous toll, the sound only proving how desperate you were to make some distance.

As you made your way through, you almost tripped on air. Or, what you thought was just the air. You stumbled forward and luckily tumbled to the side as the tripwire snapped, a big hole opening up where you should have fallen.

A trap. You crawled over to look in the now-visible hole. There were no spikes, nothing to seriously maim you. But it would considerably slow you down if you got yourself stuck.

As you stared at what was almost your fate, stuck in a hole, a shot rang out into the air.

Birds fluttered away in the distance. Nick had begun the hunt.

Not sticking around to find out if he would actually shoot you, you got up and began moving. Your legs were fatigued, and it was hard to pull yourself along, but as the birds that had been scared off by Nick’s shot passed you, there was a new, renewed sense of vigour coursing through you.

Maybe you could join them in their escape. Because you wanted to get away from Nick… right? Yes. Maybe. Your body, mind, and soul craved him. And you wanted to turn around and run back to him. But you should’ve wanted to escape, right? Confusion muddled your mind as you kept moving.

You couldn’t run anymore, not with your legs weighed down and traps around. There were multiple tripwires scattered about, and it was hard avoiding them while also trying to make your way.

Not wanting to give away your location, you tucked the bell under the collar so that it sat between the fabric and your neck. There were still slight sounds, but they were mostly muffled. And it was the best you could do as you needed your hands free.

The further you got, the more you realised how much this game was pitted against you. You never had a chance to actually get away. Nick had made sure of that as if he was scared you would actually get away from him. The forest seemed endless, you couldn’t reach a full omega sprint, and there were booby traps all over.

It had been at least ten minutes since Nick sounded that he had begun hunting, but you hadn’t heard him behind you. Despite constantly checking and listening for sounds, it seemed like you were alone.

You made it to a small stream, and it gave you a chance to splash some water over your face and try to wash your scent glands so that the smell wasn’t as strong. What you didn’t realise was this just washed your smell downstream and gave Nick a very easy way to find you.

The brush became thicker as you ventured further with heavy feet. Sick of the shoes, you tried to take them off, but Nick had tied them so tight you’d need a knife to cut them off.

Sweat dripped down your brow as the sun reached its peak. It was becoming hot, and it made the situation that much worse. 

This was by far the worst hike ever.

Just past the stream, across the path you were trying to take, laid a large, hollowed log. Part of you wanted to hide, but that seemed like a stupid idea. You began to climb the log to get over it.

As you slung your leg over the bark surface, a sickening shot sounded. You heard the whoosh of air before it hit you. An almighty pain on the back of your left thigh that had you howling into the warm air. “Fuck!”

You fell over the other side of the log, clutching at your thigh. “Fuck, fuck!”

It hurt like a bitch, but when you felt for a wound, you couldn’t find one. There was no bullet?

You didn’t have much time to inspect your injury, as you could hear the rustle of leaves under Nick’s boot as he began to approach. “Puppy, come out, come out, wherever you are.”

Something told you he knew exactly where you were. With a whimper, you picked yourself up and began running. Your trudged steps were staggered as you limped on your injured leg. Pain flared through your body as tears pricked at the corner of your eyes, your heart hammering in your chest.

There was fear, but something else too. A spark that lit you like a conduit, leaving your body buzzing with exhilaration. This was what it felt like to be alive.

“I can smell your cunt from here, puppy. You’re dripping, aren’t you?” Nick taunted, before taking another shot, this one landing on your left hip. 

You screamed out a cry, the bell on the collar becoming dislodged from its hiding spot on your neck, the jingling joining in with your distressed sounds.

Another shot whooshed past you, only just missing your head. Did he miss on purpose? Either way, it frightened you enough to bolt with all the energy you had.

You did exactly what Nick wanted you to, as while you ran at full speed, you weren’t looking out for tripwires.

An almighty yowl came from you when your ankle snagged a taut line of wire, causing it to snap. Within milliseconds, a large net scooped you up into the air, leaves and bark scattering around you from where the net lay hidden.

The thick rope burned against your skin as you writhed in the entrapment, hot tears wetting your cheeks. Nick came into view, smirking as your movements caused the net to swing in the air like an animal for the slaughter.

You wailed, gripping the ropes as you looked at your alpha below. Nick did always have a way of putting you in a cage. “Let me down!”

“Now, now. That’s no way to ask, is it?” Nick crossed his arms as if chastising you like a petulant child.

You huffed, squeezing your eyes shut. This was a sick joke you wanted no part of. “This isn’t funny!”

“I’m not laughing.” Nick was deadpan, and you were about ready to chew the rope to get out if you had to.

But there was no winning with Nick. The only option you had was to give him what he wanted. “Please, let me down.” 

“You can do better than that,” Nick sniped, blue azures watching you carefully with a mischievous twinkle.

“Alpha. Please, let me down from here.” You hated the way you sounded so desperate - but it’s because you were. Your stomach roiled with the way you were suspended in the air, anxiety nipping at your heart.

“Mm. What do I get in return, hm?” Nick mocked you, playfully poking you with the tip of the rifle so you swung in the air. “Maybe a really nice kiss?”

“Fine—”

“I hadn’t finished. A really nice kiss on my cock, omega. I want you drinking down all my seed until your belly is fucking full of me.”

A shudder ran through you, both of excitement and disdain. That was something he’d never asked of you, always too insatiable for your cunt. But right now, you’d do just about anything to not be suspended from a tree with a throbbing leg and hip. “Okay. Let me down, and I’ll give your cock a really nice kiss.”

“Deal.”

You hadn’t thought much about how you were going to get down, but you certainly didn’t expect Nick to pull out a hunting knife and cut the rope connector, causing you to drop to the ground ungracefully.

A yelp left you when you fell in a bundle of nets, still trapped on the ground as you’d got yourself snared.

“You really should be more careful, pup.” Nick used the same knife to cut you free. He pulled you out of the rope, sitting you down with your back to a nearby trunk so he could squat in front of you. His fingers grasped your chin as he inspected your face, grinning at you. “Glad to see there’s no damage to this pretty face.”

“You shot me,” you growled, anger clear in the way you were close to snarling at your alpha.

Nick scoffed, holding up the gun, which had a little orange tip on the barrel. It wasn’t real? “You’re being dramatic. It’s an air rifle.”

It explained the lack of injury. But it still hurt like hell. “You shot me.”

Nick smiled, a sickly grin that had you on edge. He hummed, slinging the gun over his shoulder with his jumper sleeves rolled up, tattoos on full display. “Yeah, I did. The pain is liberating, isn’t it? I bet if I dipped my fingers in your pussy right now they’d get soaked. Don’t play coy like you didn’t enjoy the hunt and the pain.”

Heat spread from your core all the way up to your cheeks. He was right. The chase had caused arousal like never before. But that didn’t mean you’d admit that to Nick. It was too vulnerable. “If the pain is so liberating, why aren’t you hurt?”

“Did you forget I can feel what you feel?” Nick pulled out his knife, twirling it between his fingers. Danger permeated from him, but not in a way that made you fearful for your safety. “Do you want me to bleed for you? Because I will. I’ll slice my own skin for you if you can prove to me that you’re not wet.”

You couldn’t prove that; your panties were drenched.

He moved closer, body encasing yours with your back to the tree trunk. Your breath hitched, unable to escape Nick’s intense aura, his eyes considering you before he got this look – one you’ve seen before – like you’d hung the stars and moon yourself. Your old alpha had looked at you the same.

Nick’s breath heated your skin as his lips ghosted over yours, his timbre low. “And you can slice my skin if you’re honest with me. Admit to me that you get off on this. You think I’m fucked up, and you’re not wrong. But you’re fucked up too, puppy. We’re fucked up together, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

Nick placed the knife toward your throat, the tip resting under your chin, so you had no choice but to stare at him. “Tell me I’m wrong, and I’ll stop.”

The part of you that wanted to fight had long died. Tears trickled down your cheeks as you thought. He wasn’t wrong, not in the slightest. The chase made you feel like you actually existed. For so long, in Nick’s home, you felt like a ghost that would only sometimes become material. But here, out in the wilderness with your alpha, this felt real.

The threat of pain was freeing, and it felt nice to be able to scream into the air without caring for repercussions. In this moment, there was no penalty for being the prey in Nick’s sick game.

He was right; you were fucked up. But Nick failed to recognise that you had become that way through his creation.

Nick took your hand, placing it over his that held the handle of the blade. You could kill him or yourself with just a flick of your wrist. It was powerful to feel the handle through Nick’s warm hands. He moved the knife from your throat, allowing you to take full control of the weapon.

The handle felt homely in your grasp, a sense of security held in the sharpness of the metal. Nick held out his palm, offering himself to you. If you did this, it confirmed every word Nick said.

He was turning you into the same monster he was. This wasn’t Beauty and the Beast. It was just two beasts, two fucked up souls reaching the same point of irredeemable.

You took a deep breath, your free hand steadying Nick’s palm before you brought the blade down to his skin. You just held it there, looking up to watch the way Nick was completely calm. There was no fear, no hesitation. Perhaps, marking him like this would give your own sense of ownership to your alpha. It would make it easier to live in a world where this man was your everything.

He took so much from you. It was only fair you could take some back in return.

If you were destined to spend the rest of your life with him, then maybe you could find your own happiness in taking from him as he does you. Your eyes turned back to his pale flesh before you let the sharp blade slice across his palm. It wasn’t a deep cut and wouldn’t need stitches. But blood seeped out the cut and pooled in his hand nonetheless.

Nick brought the injured hand to your face, cupping your cheek and letting his ichor mark your skin as if you wore the battle scars of his life essence.

It felt right. This was your life now, whether you liked it or not.

Nick closed the distance between you, smashing your lips together in a passionate kiss. All your thoughts flew away like the birds making their quick escape. As Nick’s teeth sunk into your lower lip, growling against your skin with a feral sound, you realised that you didn’t want to escape.

“Always and forever, puppy.”

To be updated on when I post please follow @sgt-seabass-library and turn on post notifications.

[its-time-to-write]

ch. 4 - hustling for the good life

table of contents Oh hey it’s Jamie’s side of things

also. I don’t proofread. yes I’m sorry, no I won’t change my ways.

takes one to know one

Here’s the thing. While you’ve been hopping around London, doing interviews and press and meeting all sorts of talented musicians, Jamie’s been doing his own work. Namely, badgering Keeley about his chances with you.

“She’s really pretty,” he confessed in the car on the way home from Isaac and Stella’s. “She’s like, fucking I don’t know, ethereal or some shit.” Keeley’s basically passed out, which is why Jamie is talking so freely. He knows she won’t remember shit. 

“Learned that word the other day,” he continues, “It’s like something you see can can’t totally understand. Or like, out of your league. Anyway, that’s her. Think she was all freaked out, though. Maybe too many people. Weird, innit, international star like her anxious in a crowd of people. But I really liked talking to her. Fuck, Keeley, she’s smart. You can tell in her lyrics.”

Keeley responds with a snore.

Jamie chuckles. “Yeah, alright, we’re almost to Roy’s. Don’t breathe a word of this to anyone, yeah? Like I said, not like she’d go with someone like me anyway.”

—

Jamie severely underestimated Keeley’s ability to retain juicy gossip. Yeah she was sloshed, so much so that Roy had to carry her inside and onto the bed, but that didn’t stop her from sending Jamie a text the next morning that said, ?????? and a gif of your face.

Jamie replied in kind. ??????

U fucking kno what im asking, Keeley replied. U like her.

Jamie responds, that aint a question, keels

Fine, Keeley writes, here’s one

What the fuck did you mean, ‘someone like me????’

Jamie grimaces and puts his phone down. He’ll respond to that later but now, he has to go running around the field and puke his guts out because Roy’s a fucking sadist.

—

Jamie’s been a fan of your music since, like, your first single. He’s not even sure how he first heard it but he did, and then he’d listen to it when no one could catch him.

Then you started gaining popularity, and it was more acceptable for him to listen to your soft yet upbeat songs. He came home one weekend to find his mum playing Blue Glass on a speaker in the kitchen, and they sat down at the counter and listened to the entire album, not speaking the whole time while Simon puttered around cooking dinner.

He’s followed your career through the trade from Manchester to Richmond, then back to Man City and then Richmond again. 

And yeah, he’s had a little bit of a crush.

But god, there’s no fucking way he has a shot in hell. Sure, he’s the Premier League’s top player, but you? You’re on another level.

Paps don’t even bother trying to slander you anymore because they’ll never find a speck of dirt on you. There are always pictures of you volunteering, or visiting kids in hospitals, or petting dogs or some shit. Stuff that’s usually staged, but with you it isn’t.

You’ve never had a scandal hit the papers, always been spotted out with a famous model/actor/singer boyfriend who has never once been seen cheating on you. Jamie wonders if anyone could even consider cheating on someone with as much talent and kindness as you seem to possess.

Anyway, you’d never go for someone with his relatively checkered past. All you have to do is google “Jamie Tartt,” and there he is, making out with models, headlining cheating scandals, and having sex in fucking jacuzzis.

Yeah, you’d never go for it.

But as he’s at training, running drills and practicing goals, he keeps thinking about the way you looked with your feet in the pool, hair blowing softly in the breeze.

He decides to have a serious chat with Keeley.

—

He turns up to Keeley’s house and fucking Roy’s there, except this time it’s not really a surprise. Roy opens the door, scoffs, then walks away. 

“Prick’s here,” he calls to Keeley somewhere in the house, except it’s not as angry as it used to be. Jamie can almost trick himself into thinking it’s affectionate.

“Hello to you too, grandad,” he says to Roy’s back. Roy grunts and heads to the kitchen, presumably to finish making dinner. 

Keeley bounds down the stairs and wraps Jamie in a hug. “Glad you’re here, babe. Now we can have a good chat.”

She leads him to the couch and hands him a fluffy pink pillow, one that Jamie remembers throwing across the room more than once. Fuck, there’s another reminder why he shouldn’t even be thinking of seeing you again. He couldn’t properly emote when he was with Keeley, so how’s he supposed to navigate a serious relationship?

“Oi, stop overthinking,” Keeley says, snapping her fingers in front of his face.

“Weren’t overthinking,” Jamie replies automatically. “And since when are you a mindreader?” 

Keeley grins at that. “I’m not. Your face was just all twisty and shit, which means you’re actually using your brain for once. So come on, out with it.”

Jamie’s not entirely sure where to begin, but he opens his mouth and everything sort of comes spilling out. How he talked to you for ten seconds and is pretty sure he’ll never actually love again. And he’s convinced himself that he might have a shot but then he’s reminded of all his shitty choices and thinks he’ll never measure up but god fucking damnit, he wants something real and yeah, you’re another celebrity, but there’s something about your eyes or maybe it’s the way you move your hands, but he knows for sure that if you were just a regular girl he saw on the street, he’d feel the exact same way. 

Except neither of you are like, actually regular people, but for different reasons. And his fucking shitbag of a father is always looming in the back of his mind, especially since playing Man City the other week, and he won’t let his dad try to have any sort of hold over you because that would be shitty. So anyway, he’s pretty sure that’s everything and he’s probably going to die alone.

Keeley says, “Whoa,” with big eyes once he’s finished, and for a moment Jamie thinks she’s going to call a mental institute, but then she cocks her head and says, “Jamie, you do know that nothing’s actually happened, right? Like, you haven’t even asked her out?” and Jamie realizes that he’s been knee deep in his mind for a fucking long time.

“I mean, Roy’s no saint,” she continues while Roy shouts, “Oi!” from the kitchen, “and we still got together.”

Jamie just looks at her.

“Alright, bad example,” she says. “But hey, you’ll never know if you don’t try. I mean come on, you’re Jamie fucking Tartt! You’re like, the best footballer in all of England! And you’re right fit,” she says just loud enough for Roy to hear.

“I can’t cook for shit,” Jamie says miserably, and Roy barks out a short laugh while Keeley pats Jamie’s arm.

“You’re way too far in your fucking head, babe,” she says sympathetically. “Take it one day at a time, yeah? You don’t even know if you’ll see her again.”

table of contents

[jackies-ear]

.

I love my job but the fucking pay man

I budgeted it out better this month, like beg of the month I wrote out all my monthly’s- rent, utilities, loan, bus pass (bc they only do monthly, my one in or did a 3 month pass which was wonderful), dance subscription, pet insurance. Like my ‘have to pay’s. Threw a little bit at both credit cards (one is a store card that I don’t use a lot so I can usually just pay it off in one but I have bought more things last month so there was more on it and I don’t think I payed it all? And then my reg bank cc is…… almost a limit and I could only like 100 to it which basically just covers my therapy charges but I also have a utility on that and my Hulu (only subscription!)). I just changed dance to an annual plan, so that’s going away monthly and there’s a discount for annual so it helps. If I didn’t go shopping, I’d have maybe 200 after all that for the month? But I need groceries, I have pantry stuff but I need veggies and I can only find small boxes of my waffles so I have to buy more each week. I’m not giving up my new weekly flower routine, but I only buy 1 or 2 bundles of the 3$ so it’s nothing crazy. So after all that, I have like. 20$ for the rest of the month. And I have to go shopping again this weekend. I wanted to host Thanksgiving (just fam and dads house is kinda messy so it’d be easier here) but I’m not going to be able to buy anything for it! Like dads prob plannning on buying the food for it anyway so I could just ask him to bring it here instead? And group is in person next week and I wanted to bake again, and I think I have enough gf flour to make like chocolate chip cookies? But I need more chocolate chips… I could do snickerdoodles? And like melt the rest of the chips I have and dip them in it? As long as I can scale the recipe to what gf flour I have left I guess. Or I can just not bake but I really liked it last time! And I’m in a place where I can bake again and it makes me so happy! So I don’t want to not.. and I can’t change anything to my cc bc it’s almost at limit and I need some left for the utility and therapy. so I was like I’ll find a second job. Bookstore turned me down bc I have like no availability. I basically only have weekends, after 1. Bc I refuse to give up gym classes, which are weekday evenings and weekend mornings. And the evenings I don’t gym are therapy. NOTHING wants to hire for those hours. So, I thought the gym school break camps, but their winter break is only for like the last 2 days? There’s a spring break one but that’s my only week off lol. So I wait for summer camp again, bc that pay was good but I spent most of last yrs on moving and actually paying off my bank cc bc I can never do it otherwise. But that’s in June in 7.5 months…. I don’t know how I’ll make it til then esp w the holidays coming up. I already have smth for teacher coming (and it might bc bday and Xmas together which I hate doing but). Got Sarah’s parents already. Bro gets like a gift card. But he doesn’t buy gifts for dad (selfish asshole) so that falls on me. I have 1 so far and some ideas. Bc teacher bday is coming up we might do pottery again so that could be another if she chooses that but we also just did it for another bday.

I’m emailing work in the morning asking if I can change any of my contributions, hopefully I can lower my retirement and hsa so that’ll give me a little more. Thought abt either going annual or canceling Cassie’s insurance. I’ve only used it… twice? in the like 3 yrs I’ve had it. I can also try to change the coverage to lower it but idk if they’ll do that outside of the reg annual renewal. It doesn’t cover annual exams just accident/illness, which she doesn’t get, but if she did I’d have it and it’d pay me back. But it’s also a lot monthly. So annual would be nice I guess but that means I have to put up 200-smth now. Which I don’t have. I already had to go into my savings (again) to change to the annual dance just now. I’m using up all my savings for all this. And it’s nothing extravagant! I do coffee at dad’s! I only have 1 streaming I pay for! Maybe I start going to walmart idk man idk how much cheaper that’d be. I stopped Costco and Trader Joe’s, I just go to the H-E-B by me. But again it’s weekly bc veggies and waffles and flowers.

so I’m just stressed bc no one’s gonna give me a weekend only part time and now it’s 2 am and I’ve been up for an hr over this. I knew it was bad but actually writing it out this month and tracking it in like… oh god…

(and god forbid dad cancels the gym or like kick me off the phone plan and I have to start paying those (ik I’m lucky I’m on the family plans still and I know he won’t for the phone, but gym price goes up at new year and bro doesn’t go, dad hasn’t been bc he hasn’t been feeling well. I’m the only one using it. I think he should kick bro off and go to a 2 person and save that bit but))

[prince-of-pleasures]

Zira's Journal - Entry Two

Image IDs below cut.

Pictures 1-5 A journal entry on yellowed paper written in neat, thin, elegant cursive. The pages are numbered six through ten. They read:

"Day Two

We spent the day in the grove, where a group of tiefling refugees have taken shelter, much to the displeasure of the druids' current leader, Kagha. The grove was nearby where we camped. Had we kept going yesterday and reached it before sundown, we could have been inside the walls when the goblins attacked this morning. As it stands, we had to help some returning adventurers out of a sticky situation when we got there. As much of an annoyance as it was, I have to admit that the pile of corpses and pools of blood did put a smile on my face. I had flashes of memories as I was looting the bodies. This wasn't the first time I had been in that situation, covered in gore and rummaging through pockets, and I know I feel the same every time. Not only that, but there was a tiefling girl being kept captive by the druid woman for stealing their holy idol. She tried to run, and the druid's pet snake struck her down. She died choking on her own bile, and I only barely kept a smile off my face. I must be truly wicked indeed, to find joy in such suffering, but the death of a child is always a beautiful, timeless tragedy, that the girl's fate seemed only fitting. And I can't help but imagine the rippling effect this will have. Will her parents want vengeance? Surely. Will they take revenge on the grove? I can only hope so. I'll fall asleep tonight to thoughts of that place burning, the scent of smoke sickly sweet in my nose, burning my lungs. Maybe I'll have sweet dreams tonight. I doubt it.

As for the stowaway in my head, I can only say that the healer we found in the grove attacked us when I refused to take her poison. We were forced to kill her. She may have been no help, but there is another. The druids' true leader, Halsin, who went with the adventurers to the goblin's camp and didn't return. He knows about the tadpoles; if he's alive, he may be able to help remove them. That reminds me - there was a drow in the grove. Before she attacked us, the dwarf told us that he also had a parasite. Apparently there are a lot of us around. I spoke to the corpse, and it mentioned a place that sparked the barest echo of a memory. Moonrise Towers. And Baldur's Gate, which is where the tieflings are heading, if they can get past the goblins. I've been to Baldur's Gate. I know I have. I think I've been to Moonrise Towers, too, though the more I try and remember, the more my head pounds and what little I can remember starts to slip away. I can only hope that little things keep popping up to jog my memory.

Another joined our merry band. Wyll, the Blade of Frontiers, who just so happens to be a hunter of devils. Lucky me. It's only solidified the need for a disguise. I guess I'll be a tiefling for a while longer. He agreed to help us with our parasite problem - which he also has - if we help him hunt down a devil named Karlach. I myself have no love for others of my kind, so I agreed. We'll see if that actually comes to pass. There are more important things to worry about at the moment.

Earlier this evening, after we'd returned to camp and while Gale was making dinner, Astarion stopped to talk to me. He showered me in praise and compliments and too-sweet-smiles. He can try and manipulate me all he wants. I'm doing the same to them, after all. Maybe, if I can make him think he's succeeding, I can get him into my bed. It shouldn't be hard. Something tells me he's used to using sex as a means of manipulation. I'm starving. I don't know when I last fed, but it feels like it's been a few weeks, at the very least. At first, I assumed it was the parasite making me feel so tired and dizzy, and it may be, to some extent, but there's a certain gnawing pain that only comes from having not fed enough. It's a feeling I'm used to, I think. If the vampire is resistant, I may be able to persuade him with my blood. I'm curious to know what effect it would have on him. If not him, then I'm sure I could seduce one of the others, or even someone from the grove. I'll need to eat soon, whatever the case. I need to be strong if I'm going to win the battles to come, many of which I believe will be psychic attacks, and those won't be easily won if I'm starving."

Image 6 A rough drawing of Astarion in charcoal on the same yellowed paper. It's a 3/4 profile, with Astarion looking to the viewer's left.

Image 7 A map of the grove in ink and watercolor on the same yellowed paper. There are numbers on the map that correspond with the key of locations beneath. The key reads:

Battled goblins

Graves

Trader

Refugee camp

Storehouse

Makeshift prison

Secret passage

The Grove proper

Harpies

Portal

Chamber

There is an ink splatter in the bottom right corner.

[friskynotebook]

You Make It Feel Like Christmas Ch. 5

An Obidala Hallmark Christmas movie rewrite!

CW: age gap, food, grief, injury, concussion

Summary: Padme and the Kenobis take in the Christmas market and share Christmas memories

Also on AO3!

Padme scrunched her nose as she woke, feeling a rough dog tongue licking her face.

“Oh, good morning, Lola,” she giggled, reaching out to pet the puppy. “Good morning, sweetheart. How are you?”

Padme rolled out of bed and dressed, carrying Lola downstairs. Looks like I’m the first one up. Wrapping herself in a blanket scarf she had found in the back of her borrowed closet, she lit a match and started the fireplace.

“Perfect,” she sighed, a smile on her face.

Satisfied with the cozy early morning atmosphere, Padme headed into the kitchen to prepare the coffee as she’d watched Obi-Wan do for the past few days, humming to herself as it brewed.

“Is that coffee I smell?”

Obi-Wan’s voice startled Padme out of her humming. “It is. It’s ready, actually.”

“Lovely,” he replied, watching her pour him a cup. “Thank you, Ami.”

“You’re welcome,” she blushed, pouring her own cup.

“And I see you got a fire started as well.”

“I did,” she nodded. “Cozy, isn’t it?”

“Very,” he agreed. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Leia ran downstairs dressed in a plain green onesie.

“I look like a giant green bean!” Leia wailed. “I’m supposed to be an elf!”

“Oh, Leia,” Padme cooed. “At least you’re a really cute green bean.”

Leia pouted and looked down at her socked feet.

“I think I can help,” Padme said. “I would just need a sewing kit.” She turned towards Obi-Wan, a question in her eyes.

“I think I can find one of those,” he nodded.

##

“Watch your step right there,” Obi-Wan warned Padme, taking her hand and leading her into the dusty old barn.

“Thanks . . . Oh, wow. This is such a beautiful space,” Padme gasped, looking around.

“Oh, thank you,” he demurred. “It’s lovely, isn’t it?”

“It is . . .”

Obi-Wan swallowed. “Satine used to keep her horse out here . . . I’ve been wanting to turn it into an animal hospital for a while now. I’d love it if my clients didn’t have to drive sixty miles to Boulder if their animal needs surgery, you know?”

“That would be great.” Padme walked in comfortable silence with him for a few beats before clearing her throat. “I’ve actually been meaning to ask you about her, about Satine.”

“Oh. Um . . .” Obi-Wan looked down and swallowed. “Well, uh, she passed away a little over three years ago now.” He rubbed his nose, scratched his beard. “Sh-she wasn’t sick for all that long, which is good . . . If anything good could come from that, you know.” He turned away and kept walking.

“I’m so sorry,” Padme murmured. 

“Thank you.”

“But that’s not really what I meant.”

Obi-Wan turned to her, his brow furrowed. “Oh?”

“I actually wanted to hear about what she was like. A memory or something?”

“Alright,” he said, smiling softly. “She would make freshly baked cinnamon bread every weekend for the family. She loved baking . . . We would make sure to spend time together every evening at the end of the day to talk about how things went and to reconnect as a couple. That was very important to us, to do that . . . And she loved Christmas. That was her holiday. She made homemade stockings for the children, handmade ornaments . . .” He swallowed. “She always made sure the children got one present they really wanted and one present she believed would make them better people. And just about every year, the children preferred that present anyway . . . I know this might sound strange, but she had the most wonderful scent. When I woke up in the morning, even before I opened my eyes, I just knew she was there. I knew she was all around me.”

“She sounds like an amazing person,” Padme said, her voice hoarse from disuse. “You must miss her a lot.”

Obi-Wan nodded, unable to speak. He stepped over to a few boxes, starting to dig through them.

“You know,” Padme began. “If you did turn this space into an animal hospital, it would be like you were doing something for Satine, in her memory. Helping animals with this incredible space she loved so much.”

“I’ve honestly never thought of it like that,” he replied. “When you put it like that, it sounds lovely.”

Padme smiled and looked down, letting his praise wash over her.

Obi-Wan pulled a metal tin from a dusty box, smiling at her. “Sewing kit.”

##

“Excited?” Korkie asked his little sister.

“Yep!” Leia beamed, swinging her big brother’s and father’s arms as she walked with them into the Christmas market, showing off her special sparkly elf costume under her jacket.

The family gathered together with the other families as the children gathered on stage for the outdoor Christmas play.

“She’s an elf among green beans,” Obi-Wan murmured to Padme, leaning in close. Padme blushed and opened her mouth to respond when the children interrupted her.

“In Santa’s workshop far away, Santa’s elves work night and day!” Leia grinned in front of her classmates, clearly excited to be wearing such a pretty costume.

“These little elves make video games!” Santa Quinlan announced.

Leia stepped up front. “And these little elves give dolls their names!”

Padme gave Leia a dazzling smile as Obi-Wan surreptitiously went to rub his eye.

“And Santa packs the gifts in his sleigh and takes it to kids on Christmas Day!” Quinlan finished. “Merry Christmas!”

As the crowd started to disperse, Obi-Wan pulled Padme aside. “Her costume really is amazing. I cannot thank you enough, Ami.”

Padme blushed again. Probably just the cold . . . “Oh, I think I might have overdone it a little bit.”

Leia ran over and lept into her father’s arms. “There she is!” Obi-Wan cried as he lifted her up.

“I had the best costume ever!” Leia declared.

“I don’t think Leia minds,” Obi-Wan teased, grinning at Padme. He turned back to his daughter. “You did! Congratulations!”

“Thank you Daddy!” Leia clung to his neck. ##

Later that evening, the family was walking through the market, twinkling Christmas lights dancing through the crisp winter air as their boots trudged through the snow.

“Who wants hot chocolate?” Obi-Wan asked the children.

“Me!” They all cheered.

“Me too!” Obi-Wan grinned. “Want one?” he asked Padme.

“Oh no,” she replied. “I ate, like, half a turkey.”

Obi-Wan chuckled. “We’ll be back. Korkie, help me bring them over?”

“Okay!” Korie said, taking his father’s hand as they walked off.

“Ami!” Mace and Depa came over to Padme, Luke, and Leia.

“Oh hi!” Padme greeted them. “Enjoying the market?”

“It’s wonderful—one of my favorite parts of the season,” Depa replied.

“Listen, Ami, I wanted to talk to you about your car,” Mace said. “We’ve been combing the woods looking for it, and I think we’re finally closing in on it.”

“How have you been feeling?” Depa asked.

“Oh, I . . .” Padme trailed off as she glanced over to where Obi-Wan and Luke went in search of hot chocolate—only to find Obi-Wan going for a polite kiss on the cheek and Siri pulling him in for a more passionate kiss.

Before she even realized what she was feeling, her heart sank. Why do I feel so . . . despondent? He can kiss whoever he wants. He doesn’t owe me anything.

Padme tried to not let her disappointment show on her face. “I’m feeling much better these days,” she replied. “Must be the mountain air.”

Obi-Wan and Korkie returned with the hot chocolates, just in time for the tree lighting.

“Three, two, one!” The crowd chanted, cheering when the Christmas tree in town square was lit up in all its glory.

##

“They are out,” Obi-Wan said as he came into the living room from putting the children to bed. “Must have been all the sugar.”

He sank down on the couch next to Padme. “Are you alright?” he asked. “You’ve been awfully quiet since we left the market.”

Padme sighed. “Look, Obi-Wan, I have to tell you something. I’m having the time of my life with you and your kids—at least as far as I know—I think I should find another place to stay because . . . I don’t want to be selfish and come between you and Siri.”

Obi-Wan furrowed his brow. “What?”

“I saw you and her in the square kissing when you went to get hot chocolate.”

“Oh!” Obi-Wan chuckled. “No, Ami, it’s not like that at all—”

“I get it,” Padme continued. “I mean, I just fell out of the sky like some crazy snowflake with no memory. There’s a whole world here that I’m not a part of, and I get that—”

“It wasn’t a real kiss,” Obi-Wan interrupted.

Padme looked taken aback. “It looked like a real kiss . . .”

“Well it was a kiss, but it was because of the mistletoe,” Obi-Wan explained. “She held a mistletoe over my head and I wanted to give her a kiss on the cheek to be polite, but she, well, went further than I was comfortable with.” He cleared his throat.

Padme frowned. “Are you alright?”

Obi-Wan looked up from his lap. “Hmm?”

“Are you alright?” she repeated. “She forced you into something you didn’t want, only to make it worse by crossing your boundaries even further—and she did it in public in front of Korkie because she knew you wouldn’t want to make a scene in front of him. It couldn’t have been easy for you, Obi-Wan. Are you okay?”

Obi-Wan swallowed, his features softening. If Padme didn’t know better, she’d think he looked touched. “Better now that I’m home in front of the fire,” he smiled.

After a beat, he continued. “We did go on a date, once. But it was so . . . wrong.  It didn’t feel right. She force-fed me some of the most slimy tofu I’d ever had.”

Padme gave him a small smile. “For what it’s worth, I’d never make you eat slimy tofu. Anyone who makes slimy tofu should not be allowed anywhere near a kitchen.”

He laughed. “Ami, Christmas has not been the same around here for a few years now, and having you here with us . . . You’ve made it feel special.”

“Really?” Padme asked, her voice soft.

“Really. And you are a part of this family—I mean, part of this world, here in Salida,” he quickly corrected himself. “I know you’re part of another world and we’ll figure out where that is but until we do . . . What I’m trying to say is we’d love to have you stay here with us.”

She beamed at him, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“Daddy! Daddy! Can you bring me water? I’m thirsty!” Leia called.

Padme raised her head. “Duty calls?”

Obi-Wan stood, a wry grin on his face. “Duty calls.”

No-pressure tags: @saradika @obiknights @justsaysomethingjayj @cypanache @alabama-metal-man @vic3456 @darlingamidala @celestial-alignment @your-dose-of-obidala @written-musings @fearless-too-and-stubborn

[yuusaris]

FeyFic Sequel Dump Doc - A Deadly Sort Of Sympathy [NSFW]

[Mental manipulation, worn-down-by-time brainwashing, unhealthy/toxic relationships, sexytimes]

Not back, just getting this out of my eyeballs. Very messy, very all-over-the-place. Was gunna be multi-chaptered and have plot, malik was gunna be there as a well-meaning ex that Bakura gets roped into his stupid shit, but I never got passed the intro stuff and frankly, I have other things to focus on. May return to this, but it's no longer my problem.

Lots of jumping around. Will try to clear up those jumps.

FORGOT TO TAG AS DUMP DOC. THIS IS A DUMP. NOT A FULL THING, I AM SO SORRY, I DID NOT SPECIFY. THIS IS DISCONTINUED WHILE IN PRODUCTION.

The most recent thing he remembers, if he really tries, is leaving home with Him. 

Those sharp nails rested against his wrist, guiding him through a door he didn’t recognize to somewhere he didn’t know. Only knew that He would be there. And that he would follow. 

He remembers hearing knocking, which was ridiculous because it was no one's home. He heard hinges creak and a slam which made no sense as the doorway was open already, he was halfway through it.

And just when he stepped through and left for good - he thinks he remembers hearing someone say his name.

-----

He enters the room with yawns and stretches. There is no need to wait for breakfast because they who serve Him have already brought it out. He eats simply - mostly bread and fruits, sometimes cheese. It’s the other plate, his plate, that’s graced with a full breakfast.

“Good morning, ‘Kura.”

He says this every morning and hasn't once forgotten to. He pets him gently every time, and before ‘Kura can complain about the treatment, He kisses him softly on the temple. And everything filters out but a twisted bliss at the attention, and the knowledge that this is all very, very wrong.

-----

He can’t forget the first bath he’d had here. The experience bled into weeks of scratching and howling and bleeding. 

“I don’t understand - your skin has layers too, doesn’t it?” He’d murmured while examining Bakura’s red, swollen skin. He pulled - ripped  - at what looked like a splinter but came out like a barb, as if it dug itself into his muscle, under the skin itself and latched itself to the underside. Bakura howled, tore himself away, swearing and yelling over a yelp and a flurry of ‘sorry, sorry, I’m sorry!’. Clutching his arm, feeling the blood between his fingers and the pain, the itch of all the others underneath. When he rubs or scratches it hurts. 

[Big Gap, never wrote connective tissue]

“I found out how to fix this!” He’d said triumphantly. “I did more reading about human sanitary practices and went out and got this!” With that, he’s handed a small box, and the fiendish Fey before him smiles. “It’s called ‘soap’.”

-----

 [timeskip and gap]

“You were perfectly content being fed and cuddled and played with,” He says. “You didn’t - you still haven’t even asked my name.”

Bakura stares from the bed.

Then He tells him. 

“It’s Ryou.”

------

His name is not ‘Kura. Ryou just calls him that - sometimes he’ll use the ‘Ba’ first, mostly when he - Ba-kura, making Bakura - is in trouble.

[Very large gap]

“I hadn’t eaten because of you,” Bakura growls hoarsely. When He looks away, shoulders hunching in shame, he finds a nugget of satisfaction. 

“I said I was sorry,” He murmurs. 

“Sorry?” Bakura scoffs. “That’s it? You’re sorry?”

“And it won’t happen again.”

“Oh, ya pinky-promise?”

His head tilts. “Pinky?”

[Another gap - told you I barely connected this]

Bakura wakes up to a platter of food. He must be delusional - it looks and smells like it’s actually cooked.

“You like your meat rare, right?” asks a familiar voice - He sits beside him and smiles. “I, ah, didn’t bother to do it myself this time… it was from that place we went to.” 

He just prettied it up with the platter and silverware. Whatever implication that has is tossed to the wayside in favor of eating.

It’s cooked, seasoned, and warm. Bakura could cry.

“But I also got- um,” Ryou’s fingers press together, sheepishly. “I got a book for cooking. So I can get better at it.”

Bakura slows down. He still chews, of course, but he’s trying to focus on Ryou now.

“You know, when I left you that day to come home and get your room ready, I’d - I’d felt so confident about this whole thing. I read all the books, and I got the enrichment and equipment and pet-safe furniture… but the second I couldn’t get back I was practically shedding with worry. I - hadn’t even considered what would happen if you would ever be away from me for too long.” He stops, taking a lingering look at Diabound. “And then,” a slow, fond smile crosses his face. “And then I remembered how much you knew about Diabound’s needs and I thought - ‘did ‘Kura know what to do when he was in this position’?”

“...” Bakura turns back to his food. “Snakes can go without food for up to two months - but they need water much more frequently.”

“And you were working on a time limit to get out of there,” Ryou’s voice is fond - too fond. “That’s why you did what you did.”

Bakura’s quiet.

“You’d do anything to make sure she was safe and happy and… and it took me until you were in pain to even recognize you couldn’t even clean yourself.” His hands fist in his lap. “...I’m… I’m so sorry for how I’ve been,” Ryou says softly. “I’ve been trying to make a home for you, but… knowing about Humans doesn’t mean I know enough about the differences between us.”

[Large Gap]

“But I’m a damn adult with a damn lease and a damn job to feed my damn snake,” Bakura snaps. “I did all of that on my own, and I’ll do it all a-damn-gain on my own once I’m out of your needy fffucking grip!”

He looks at him, wide eyed, mouth dropped into a small oval. Those eyes, infinite and bottomless, search him. Well, they can search all they like for whatever they like. There’s nothing pathetic about him.

“All on your own?” Ryou says, His voice slow, tinged with the soft timbre of pity as if Bakura ever needed that. “Was no one else there?” 

Bakura snarls at the hand coming to his cheek, “I”m an adult-,” but when it rests, his words stay locked behind his teeth, his breath held prisoner in his lungs. 

“Adults hunt in packs,” Ryou says. “They work and play and rear children together. What monsters let their cub suffer like that?”

Bakura doesn’t falter, won’t fall for this creatures’ act. It needs to be an act, if only for Himself. There’s only so much ignorance you can exhibit before it’s simply malice.  “I don’t need your pity-” 

He stops. His brow unfurrows at the rightmost wet streak on Ryou’s face, jaw loosening as he watches this wretched Fey tear up. 

“Did you hear yourself?” He asks. “Why do you talk about living like it’s a prize?”

“It was,” he says, through firm teeth. Nevermind his shaky memories of where he’d lived, who he’d known - he knew he had found his own path, got his own money, dug himself upwards and forwards. He didn’t succumb to the various options to fail like those around him. He’s allowed to be proud of that. “I earned it.”

The hand slides back, light nails dancing slow against his skin, resting against the flat of his neck. His thumb brushes softly beneath his ear. 

“You were always entitled to a good life. You still are.” Bakura’s doomed, the other hand comes too, cradles the opposite side and drags him forward till their foreheads touch. “And I want to give you a life you can live.”

“I can’t-” He’s breathless, searching for something, anything. A thought to cling to, a reason to disagree. “I can’t…” He drowns in the color of the earth, the smell of its dust after rain wafts from His skin. 

“Tell me everything you need,” Ryou says softly, almost too softly. Almost like He loves him. 

Bakura drops the knife. Ryou doesn’t look, as though it was never important to begin with.

“I’m hungry,” The words fall out. “I need meat. And eggs and starch and-”

“Make a list,” Ryou interrupts him. “You’ll have everything you ask for.”

“I need to-” His tongue runs dry. “I can’t clean myself-”

“Well, that’s an easy fix,” Ryou chuckles, “everything in this home is mine - everything is touched by myself, at all times. And since everything you need must remind you of me--”

No, he doesn’t understand, Bakura grips him by the shoulders, drags Him in, he needs to understand. “I can’t bathe.”

“...Ah.” Ryou realizes. “You can’t….”

And that…

“Is that… related to something else? Poor thing.” Ryou pulls him closer. Bakura follows His lead without much choice - Ryou tilts his head for him without much resistance. “You can always ask.” 

It’s a soft kiss, one that tastes like pomegranates and the smell of harvest. His hands move back across his jaw and cheek; a thumb grazes the bottom of his bottom lip. Bakura feels all of it, his focus divided between ten fingers, each individual fingertip drawing a unique path along his neck, down his chest, and he’s compelled - there no other word for it - to bring Him closer, kiss Him deeper, slip his own tongue across His lip and hear him gasp and sigh like a nymph.

“I had fun last time,” Ryou speaks softly, but not quiet. Hypnotic, it beckons him to trail his mouth down Ryou’s neck. “Did you?” Bakura nods. “You asked me then to be my only pet - do you remember?”

Bakura mumbles an excuse against His warm collarbone, “that was playful banter.”

“There was some truth to it,” Ryou’s hands slip into his hair. Soft strokes and little massages with his fingertips lull him closer, coax his hands to find His skin. “You said ‘if you treat them all like’ -” He’s cut off by His own little moan, muffled by tightly-pursed lips - He’s enjoying this, Bakura can feel that fact against his thigh. “I haven’t filled my end of that bargain.” 

The hand in his hair tightens. 

Bakura’s head is pulled back again, examined under His eye. “Do you want me to?” Bakura tries to nod - can’t, with the hand in his hair. Ryou ignores any silent pleas, His eyes boring into Bakura’s. “Say it.”

“Yes.” It falls from him, pulled by sheer presence. He feels weak. His hair is pulled again and his spine shakes.

“Did you like that?”

“Mm-hm.” No answer, no change - will He truly only accept words? “Yes?”

“Good pet.” A hum. A kiss to his chin. “You have a nasty habit of hiding what you mean - it makes things difficult sometimes.”

[For Sale. Large Gap. never connected.]

I want you to tell me what you need,” Ryou says. “Clearly. Without me needing to guess or push you.” When Bakura shakes his head, he’s taken firmly by Ryou’s hand and forced to stop - he’s surprised at the strength in Ryou’s grip. “Don’t disagree with me on this. You need to learn to ask me for what you need, I can only give you what you ask for. Stop making me force your hand.” Then, quieter, into his ear, “not everything you deserve needs to be won.”

There’s an ache in his chest - the spot where his heart would be, if he had one - alongside the ache in his dick, a swollen need from torment that can only be pleasure. Bakura growls at it, at the implications it brings.

“You’re just as strong when you ask for me,” Ryou smiles against his ear. “I think you’re stronger when you can be honest.”

Despite himself, Bakura’s breath turns ragged.

“And you’re very attractive when you want this badly,” His voice is thick, playful, “very sexy.”

And he tries, he really tries, not to lose himself in the tongue running along his ear, the long rubbing up and down his chest to sternum to belly and up and down and up again. But he can hear the cusp on which his wantonness stands. He’s sure Ryou can too.

“And if you told me, right now, that you want me to have control--”

And he does want it, wants it more and more He talks and offers, mouth dropping open when His palm presses down on his cock, once, then moves to the side to rub circles into his thigh.

“--I think it’d be cruel to call that weak. I think it’s brave.” He says with a kiss.

[Last Gap, I swear.]

The one thing He wouldn’t do is degrade. Bakura couldn’t explain the difference for various reasons.

“It just sounds like a nasty form of teasing.” And Bakura nods, frantically - yes, it’s teasing, yes it’s nasty, yes he wants- “I don’t want to talk to you like that,” Ryou said. “I want you to enjoy being good for me.” 

Bakura grits his teeth, against the derision at his wants and the cock sliding over, not in, his ass. Over and over, truly teased, no relief.

“I like that you couldn’t wait,” Ryou says again. His cock twitches and he grunts as His hand picks up again. “You’ve been so lonely, haven’t you?” He nods, rocking into His hand. All this from months untouched - he might go mad. “Tell me what you want,” Ryou speaks slowly. “Tell me what you want me to do for you.”

Confessions and fantasies spill from his mouth like drool, and he’s granted them in turn - cock gripped too tightly to cum, ass up and rutting against His hips for relief. More than he ever has from insult or shame, he cums from His praise for Bakura’s debauched and slutty -- no, from his eager, willing pleasure, words of worship for opening his chest, laying himself bare, showing everything and giving it all away.

“Good boy, ‘Kura,” Ryou purrs against his temple. With a kiss, ‘Kura’s consumed again by that ache, and instead of bracing himself against that salacious venom, he lets it spread across his nerves and limbs all the way to his head. “Good pet.” 

-----

Ryou hums while he reads. His fingers card through ‘Kura’s hair. Each gentle tug pulls it loose from behind his ear, or across the part, spilling the strands across His lap.

About the third time it falls out of place, ‘Kura grumbles, irritated at the feelings of ‘unright’ left in it’s place. Ryou chuckles softly, watching ‘Kura shake his hair back into place.

“Sorry,” Ryou smiles. “It’s just so soft now.”

‘Kura groans.

-----

His name is ‘Kura. Sometimes there’s a ‘Ba’ first, but only when he gets in trouble.

He doesn’t get in trouble.

[kalisama]

I’m Back

 Hey all, 

Sorry I completely ghosted tumblr. I’m not dead, it’s just been a rough couple of years. Feel free to read on if you’re curious.

 I disappeared around the time our dog got cancer. He needed around the clock care for what we thought was going to be a period of recovery, but he continued to decline mentally until he just wasn’t with it anymore. My pets were my babies so that hit me pretty hard. Also found out I was pregnant a month before. There were some early complactions and I ended up on bed rest for a bit. Got carpel tunnel, ended up not being able to do much in the way of art for most of my pregnancy. And then we had a baby girl. And 2 months later the military moved us halfway across the country to a place with no housing available. 😅So we bought a house sight unseen. The day we moved in my dad called to tell me something was wrong with my mom. My mom was in and out of the emergency room multiple times in the following week before ending up in emergency surgery because she almost died, and my very beloved cat suddenly passed away that same week.  All of these things completely overshadowed the fact that I was struggling with PPD. I kept saying I’d be better when there wasn’t so much stress. But I wasn’t. My anxiety was out of control and I wasn’t getting any sleep. And let me tell you, severe anxiety and sleep deprivation is not how you want to enter a global pandemic...My husband got deployed somewhere in there, and things were crap for a long while. Then, when I finally started to feel better my dad unexpectedly passed away…

It’s been a year and a half now since he’s been gone. Most of that time feels like a void. A year and a half of trying to hold my family together while being the solo care giver for my toddler. My mom was not functional for months. I took my daughter and went to live with her in Wisconsin until we could get her back up on her feet. It wasn’t a planned trip. We literally left home the morning after my dad passed, and didn’t return until 5 months later. My family will never be the same, I think everyone of us has had some mental health struggles this past year, but things are slowly getting better. I can see them adapting, evolving around the black hole of grief. Moving forward. In February I decided it was time to start making space for myself again. I’m working my way back to finding those things that I loved before my life became a blur of depression and child raising. My dad loved to see me creating art, and in his last couple of months he would often mention that he was concerned that I had given up on the things that brought me joy. I’ve come to the realization that honoring him doesn’t just mean trying to take care of everyone else’s needs and leaving no time for my own. It’s been a slow process. I’m taking some online art courses and doing art in my free time. Last month my husband gifted me an iPad which has been a total game changer as far as being able to get some creative time in while taking care of our 3 year old.

I sincerely hope to have more art to share with you all in the coming months. I’ll try to remember to update here. I had completely forgotten tumblr existed. I’m generally more active on FB because that’s how I stay connected to family members.  My DA account is still open but not active. I don’t know if I want to return to posting there, but it will certainly remain the home for all my older work. 

[crowsonlinediary]

August 22, 2024

Todays choice of clothes:

-South Park goth kids t-shirt from Hot Topic

-The Lost Boys jacket from Hot Topic

-Invader Zim Gir buckle belt from Spencer’s

-Jeans from Target

-Hedgehog themed black ankle socks from Target

-Black combat boots from Walmart

Morning - Today I woke up around 5am in order to get ready for school, I took my daily vitamins and showered, got dressed and ate cereal for breakfast while I watched The Flintstones and The Jetsons for the early morning cartoons, then I brushed my teeth and got my hair done, packed my bag and went off to school where I met up with my friends and my boyfriend, Orange, soon the bell rang and I headed off to my first class with Orange.

P1: Math unfortunately is my first period, not only that but I have IM1 which the school made me retake 3 times cuz they wanna see my downfall. We didn’t do much just get our homework checked which takes so long apparently cuz T1V is an old lady so it takes longer for her to remember and do shit, but 0T1U is way younger than her, early to mid 20’s if you ask me, yet she’s as slow as T1V is! And apparently I did SO good on my homework (hm I do wonder why) that I’m being used as an example for every class, so now I feel like I’m being pressured to keep it up, so yay, I guess

P2: Art is my specialty, I may dress dark and gothic but everyone in my class including T2G, I finished out project for the week and she liked it, me and T2G had a conversation about Copic markers as she was examining my poster that I made, then I did my homework for the class since I had 20 minutes left anyways in that class

P3: English is one of the two classes I share with my friends, Orange (my bf) and Ore, every time I walk upstairs to my English class I always see the two of them talking about jumping off the ledge of the English building, which is usual for the two of them, todays English class was boring, we finally had to do work today after pictures, T3S was helping me guide through our new textbooks albeit I could do it by myself still properly, just cuz I’m mentally disabled doesn’t mean I can’t do shit, anyways class was boring as ever since I don’t sit next to Orange or Ore sadly

P4: Spanish class is usually eventful since there’s so many wannabe thugs here, but surprisingly it wasn’t, it was a free study period according to T4B, so all I did was sit here and be on my phone, scrolling away waiting for it to be lunch finally so I can eat with my friends

Lunch: Todays lunch was wings with a Hawaiian roll but I just got Jack in the Box instead, courtesy to my stepdad, G-Bear, since he didn’t work today. My bsf, Teal and my bf Orange took my Jack in the box bag apart, Orange taking the now empty chicken nuggets box (which we shared) and Teal taking a chunk out of the bag itself to only have the Deadpool Jack since they both had Deadpool in it and they both love it. Orange also gifted me a cute tuxedo cat plush which I had to enjoyment of naming Kornelius cuz I like Korn

P5: Anatomy class is one of those calm classes since T5E is an Avid teacher as well, besides some of the older students are more calm and reserved and friendly rather than the rambunctious students in the lower 3 grades, today we got to do an dissection on a sour patch kid in order to get used to which planes are which, my friends Teal and Door were seated beside each other which I find unfair since I’m all by my lonesome, soon after that we got our first quiz of the year on day 6, I believe, it was easy though, as the class time soon came to a close, me Teal and Door were talking amongst each other, I peered at T5E’s class pet snake then we left as the bell rang, me and Teal had a bit of a conversation during passing period and then left

P6: History class is one of my easy classes, but my class is filled to the brim with those basic pick me girlies and the wannabe gangster boys, I have the unfortunate to sit in a group of three jock gangster friends which I did not choose by the way, they decided to sit next to me which is weird since nobodies ever done that before. One of the boys, Texas, kept peering at me though, not in a “gazing at my crush” sort of gaze but the usual state you do at people when zoning out, but I don’t know, ever since I got my hair cut and a boyfriend I feel as if boys stare at me more often than they ever had since middle school, but that’s just a me thing. For class we had to finish up an assignment that we started yesterday but I was busy playing games on my computer but I did get most of it done though, I’ll finish it at home

Afterschool: Finally at home, tomorrow will be the final day of this school week and I’m so happy about that, there’s supposed to be a freshmen football game going on soon but nobody ever goes to those games cuz freshmen SUCK. Anyways I undressed from my school clothes and dressed into my pajamas which are a vampire university hand me down shirt from my mother, Mal, that came from Hot Topic, and my Gir pajama pants that are from Spencer’s, I am currently relaxing in my snoopy themed bed watching the tv in my room while also doing my math homework, homework fucking sucks I don’t wanna do this anymore, fuck the guy that made homework hope he’s rotting in hell as well speak, nothing else eventful will happen today as I know of, so this is me, Crow, signing off

♡〜٩(^▿^)۶〜♡

[valaruakars]

Temperance

Viktor x f!Reader || 3.8k || NSFW

When Viktor is alone in the lab, you kindly pack up your Academy office and spend the day in his company, working alongside him. He’s a busy man and your timing isn’t great, but you can’t help the way you want him. And you get the feeling that maybe he wants you too. Could all this be solved by passing him a note that says “hey wanna fuck circle yes or no?” Sure, but you’re not that smart.

A/N: Hey um y’all know that scene in like ep. 4 with the giant screw? Gateway drug to wanting to ride his fingers. Also @arcanescribbles draws his hands too much for my weak little pea brain to handle :))

warnings: established relationship, pining (obvi), dirty talk, fingering, PIV (of the unsafe variety)

The sound of wind gusting outside punctuates the ambient hum of machinery and the smooth scratch of his pen, scrawling out a language foreign to you on his blueprints. The artificial lights in the lab are rapidly overtaking the fading sunlight, and there are still many ungraded assignments strewn across your borrowed desk. Your cheek rests heavy in the palm of your hand; your eyes, glazed and bleary, stare into the middle distance as your mind wanders from your work.

You’re thinking of him. Again.

It’s only natural that you do; you think of Viktor all the time. Your lover, your constant companion, you walk through your day filing away little things to tell him later; a stupid joke he’ll enjoy or how you pet a cat this morning. You think of his shirt that needs mending or picking up more of his favorite coffee on the way home. Innocent, passing thoughts of your life together.

But not always.

The pen is limp in your hand and your fingernail mindlessly raps the desk, tapping out the staccato of your thoughts as you lose yourself in waking dreams of him. Your body burns with a fever you can’t sweat out and you can see him, in your mind’s eye, fucked absolutely senseless beneath you.

“(Y/N),” he says quietly, voice a scratchy sound for all the hours he’s tirelessly, silently worked beside you. You hear him, but you’re not in the lab. “(Y/N),” he tries again, a little firmer, but you’re in bed, your rapturously naked body bathed in a sheen of evening light and sweat as you chase your pleasure, riding his cock with languid abandon. You hear your name, and it is a word of worship from the supplicant below.

Your pen is suddenly knocked from your hand when he covers it with his own, cold and gentle but for where patchy callouses stipple his palm. Your finger, which up until now had been mimicking the sound of a very horny metronome, finally stops moving. And you divorce fantasy for the sweet, lonely touch of reality. For a man who is much too busy to indulge your fantasies.

The hand supporting your cheek peels away and you pivot to look at him, where he has wheeled himself down the workstation to sit beside you. His soft, searching gaze flays you immediately. If he can’t already see the hot, creeping flush on your neck, the sickly warmth of your hand will betray you instead.

“Please, no more of that,” he begs, and your guilty eyes shift to watch his fingers curl tighter around yours, “It’s, ah, it’s a little…”

“Annoying?” you supply, finding that your raspy voice is an echo of his own, “You can say that, it’s fine.” You sigh long and deep, smoothing back the hair at the crown of your head like it will soothe your keening body. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you,” you tell him simply.  

“All is forgiven,” he says softly, releasing your hand with a fond, reassuring squeeze. He ventures to pinch the red patch you’ve pressed into your cheek. “So lost in thought…” he muses and you’re inclined to think it’s not entirely innocent.

You swat his hand away, muttering, “I suppose I was.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“I—um, I was…” you stumble, gesturing like you’re waiting for your sluggish brain to catch up with your mouth, “…Thinking about my lecture for tomorrow. I’m just concerned it won’t be engaging enough.”

How sad, that you’re convincing in content, but not in delivery.

“Interesting,” he says slowly, the word thick on his tongue. But his gaze flits from your face to the stacks of paper spread before you, and it’s over before it even started. Already stooped in bad posture, his shoulders sag further, but he manages you a thin-lipped smile. “I’m sure it will go well.”

“Oh, it’ll be fine,” you sigh, giving his chair a shove with your foot, prompting him to go back from whence he came, “I’ll live, even if my students don’t.”

“And yet, I do love listening to you talk. How anyone could die of boredom is beyond me,” he says, disgustingly sweet and all too pleased with himself as he scoots away.

You huff a laugh and drop it, left to grapple with the inkling that he might have wanted you too. Your skin burns where he touched you, and you war with yourself to either salvage the opportunity or get back to work. Really, the better choice is obvious.

You hear the sound of his pen picking up pace again. Then the rustle of papers. And finally, an annoyed little grumble.

“(Y/N). Could I have a favor?”

“Mmhm.”

“There are two notebooks by the chalkboard,” he says, pointing over his shoulder, “Can you bring them to me?”

You convey your willingness by hopping out of your chair on stiff legs, happy to be of service while you figure out how the hell to direct yourself from here. A twinge of hope pinches your heart that he might watch you saunter over and bend down to scoop them up, but he makes no move to look at you. Like he actually needs them, and it’s not an excuse to lure you close again. The disappointment stings.

“These, right?” you ask, pointedly not sulking when you deposit his books where you can find space.

“Right,” he nods, still paying you no mind, writing away.

You pause, studying the expanse of painstaking work strewn before him, appreciative of his brilliance and ravenously jealous that it prevents your legs from being spread there instead. You resolve then to gather your things and leave; to spare him from your dreadful need. You’ll be no distraction from all that he must accomplish tonight. Jayce needs those blueprints tomorrow and by the grace of your restraint, he will have them.

At least at home you can breathe deep the smell of him that lingers on your sheets and relieve the ache between your legs at the expense of your own creeping deadlines.

As you shift away, a beseeching hand catches your wrist and you find his sharp chin tipped up, an expectant look cast up at you. You know this look intimately and relish in its sweetness. “Thank you,” he hums, and you know it to be a prompt.

Your better judgment is nowhere to be found when you decide to oblige him, bracing a hand on his lean shoulder and bestowing him with a swift, compliant kiss. Hardly a peck. Hardly a second of contact. But it is lapse enough to let your greed slip its fraying tether.

So you kiss him again, longer this time, a cautious question. Your lips cling to his, dry and delicate, when you pull away slowly, like they long to stay pressed together. You could swear he shudders. And whether you imagined it or not, it is the spark that breaks you.

You’re not going anywhere.

You linger in his space, your spine delicately bowed as you hover inches from his lips, holding your breath for the swift backhand of rejection. Ready to grab it before it strikes you and sink those fingers into your needy mouth. Ready to prove you’re worth every second of his precious time. But his hand stays tenderly affixed to your wrist; a gentle shackle, a warm anchor.  

You study his face for the barest hint of abnegation, but find only measured interest in his curious, golden stare. Like he felt that same spark too.

Something thick blooms between you, his gravity too heavy to resist. You are pulled into his atmosphere, burning up as you fall upon his lips to kiss him for a third time, deep and hungry. Your hand slides up along the vital artery in his neck, reaching around to grasp the soft hair at his nape. When you pull, gentle but urgent, he keens sweetly into your mouth, and you make him taste the voracity on your lips the way you can taste stale coffee on his.

You think to crawl into his lap, to rut through your clothes like forbidden lovers until your panties are soaked through and he can’t stand it anymore. You want his hands truly on you, roaming your body and grabbing whatever handfuls of your pliant flesh he can get.

But he breaks from you suddenly like coming up for air, nearly drowning in the riptide of your affections. His chest is heaving, and his eyes slide anxiously between your puffy, pink lips and the beckoning of his great labor beside you.

You hate him for sounding so desperately torn, for asking,  “…Can it wait?”

And you hate yourself for being so wretched, so selfish when you slowly shake your head to deny him reprieve, your throat seizing around the word, “No.”

Your heart beats faster, a fearful rhythm, when the contemplative pinch of his brow doesn’t ease. When you consider that he might not bow to your desires, like he is wed to his work and you are his mistress. You have always, always had the weaker resolve.

Your grip on him tightens, fisting handfuls of his shirt as you drag yourself closer, while your pride slips away. There are worse things than begging. “I know you’re busy, but please—please,” you press, your voice a foreign whine to you, your thumb caressing the cutting edge of his cheekbone, ”I’ll make this so quick, I promise.”

“You… promise?” he echoes, his vowels round and thick when he draws the word out.

“Yes,” you nod vigorously, “Yes.”

“If you want me badly enough to beg, I think it would be cruel to deny you,” he sighs in resignation, leaning into your touch. You’d think him put upon if not for the bloom of color on his pallid face and the growing strain against the leg of his pants. “Off, please,” he says, hooking a deft finger into the waistband of your skirt, giving it a suggestive tug.

His breath is hot on your flushed face, growing hotter still when he adds, “All of it.”

You are more than pleased to strip naked for him, but the act is efficient. A little rushed, hurrying to feel his hands roam your bare skin. You shed your clothes unceremoniously into a pool at your feet, and he is so kind as to take your hand as you step out from within it.  

He surveys your body appreciatively, and the sentiment is returned tenfold, so you venture: “And what if I also want you naked, hm?”

He shifts his leg at an odd slant and the heavy metal brace whines in protest against the exaggerated movement. “That would not be quick, moya lyubov,” he says, apologetic in a way that lances your heart.

“Unfair,” you grouse, but you are tempered by the reverence you feel for all that he is. The bony, sharp angles, the bolts in his spine, the hard metal braces and his fathomless eyes. “I love your body too, you know,” you murmur, sliding into his lap and crashing back upon his mouth like a breaking wave.

“Yes, I know,” he breathes against your lips, and you swallow the words down, vital as water.

Your hands have a strong preference for tangling into the soft strands of his hair, but if you are to make good on your promise, they are required elsewhere. You reach down between your bodies to fumble with his pants; though they are practiced, your hands feel thick and useless when they can’t seem to move quickly enough. You can feel him writhe for friction beneath you, ghosting breathy sounds into your mouth when your fingers just barely brush his cock in pursuit of its freedom. He must think you a tease.

Frustrated, he groans and scrambles to help you, knocking your hands out of the way to roughly shove his pants down. He absently leaves wet, open-mouthed kisses on your forehead when you look down to watch that delicious reveal, that moment when his cock springs free. You sigh at the sight of it, twitching and reddening at the tip, all yours to lavish with the long, sweet strokes of your affection.

His hands migrate to your thighs, kneading the thick muscle, feeling the way they quake for him. They slide further back, the blunt tips of his fingers pressing broadly into your ass, nothing short of worshipful as he rolls your flesh in his hands.  

His cock is in your shaking hands. You line up the head and move to impale yourself upon him. It will burn now and it will burn later when your delicate skin is sore and torn, but you will pay the price. Impatient creature, you are so desperate, so willing to be filled by him now, whatever the cost. Your want for his body entwined with yours is transcendental.

But he won’t let you do it. His strong hands dig into the soft swell of your ass, preventing your descent.

“Absolutely not,” he chides when you serve him with an incredulous glare, but you are slow to comply. You whine and wiggle your hips, seeking out friction on the hard tip of his cock, until he hisses, “Stop that. Let me help you.”

“I don’t need your help—” you grit through your teeth, faltering when you feel a hand sliding down the curve of your ass, dipping between your legs. His fingers brush through your folds with a featherlight, teasing touch. 

“You don’t want this?” he asks, “Truly?” he whispers, a low, taunting laugh at odds with your pathetic mewl as you grind down against the slick, flat press of his hand, slipping abruptly against your clit. It’s certainly not lost on him how drenched you are from hardly more than the crash of tongue and teeth. “I think you do.”

“All I want is to fuck you properly.”

“And you will,” he says leisurely, like he has all the time in the world to toy with your composure and your cunt alike, “But first—” His hand glides back, two fingers catching the dip of your entrance and pressing into that resistance, “First, I want you to fuck yourself on my fingers until I’m satisfied.”

You fist a handful of his disheveled shirt and nod weakly, composure gutted as you sink down to his knuckles. You choke on a stuttering whine when you feel him shift, flexing his fingers, stroking you from within.

“Very, very nice,” he whispers, and you’re not sure if he’s praising your compliance or the way you tighten around his spindly fingers.

Palm spayed wide with two fingers in your depths, he invites you to rock back on his hand. Coaxes you to show him what you’ll do to his cock next. He is criminally patient as you roll your hips experimentally, clutching his shoulder for support. His other hand seems magnetized to your ass, gripping your pliant flesh as you pick up the pace, writhing on his hand.

His fingers slide in and out in time with your hips, crooking deliciously to add your keening voice to the cacophony of slick, lewd sounds. The exertion has you a panting, sweaty mess by the time he adds a third finger, the air between you thick with the salty-sweet scent of arousal. When you move in long strokes, you are rewarded by the most fleeting brush of his cock between your thighs, and it grows slicker with each kiss of your clit against it. You hone in on that sensation, and it brings you dangerously close to the edge.

Your intention to finish without him is written too plainly on your pretty, scrunched up face; your eyes are too glassy and your pitchy moans spill from your lips too frequently. His hand abruptly withdraws from you and comes to rest on your flank, drenched and growing cold against your skin. Your poor, abandoned cunt throbs at the loss of him, and you regret ever suggesting that you don’t want for his long, talented fingers inside you. Lesson learned.

“Were you really that close?” he asks, peering into your face with abject fascination.

And you are so far down this lustful path that shame and embarrassment are lost to you. You cannot be made to feel shy by this man, and so you dump the truth into his lap and tell him: “Yes— Yes,” you breathe, taking his gorgeous face into your hands,“I’ve spent all afternoon thinking of fucking you, and you are… so, so good with your fingers, do you know that?”

“You’ve eh, mentioned it before,” he hums, submitting to your praise with a wry smile. “How did you imagine us, hm?

You shrug, dragging a greedy hand down his stomach, through the dark patch of hair that crowns the base of his cock. “Much like this. But in bed, so you can see all of me— how good I am at riding you,” you simper, leaning close to whisper in low tones against his cheek, “I know you like to watch your cock sink into me. Over and over again, until I’m screaming for you and you cum inside me.” You kiss his skin chastely, in direct contrast with your filthy mouth.

“Mmhm,” he nods, throat bobbing thickly when you wrap your soft hand around the neglected girth of him and give a firm, brutal stroke. His skin is still faintly sticky and achingly hot beneath your touch. “You can have your way with me now, if you like.”

“What a roundabout way of asking me to fuck you,” you laugh impishly, taking hold of him with clear and carnal intent.

This time, when you shift your hips and slip his cock into place, flesh to flesh, his hands soothe over your tremulous thighs encouragingly. His fingers are one thing, but his cock is an entirely different beast to conquer. Wet as you are, you still feel the sweet resistance, the blissful stretch as you slide down into his lap, eager to sit flush against his hips. Your brow pinches in concentration, your hands braced on his chest. You have to work for it, panting softly as you drag yourself up and down his shaft slowly before he’s slick enough to make the friction pleasant, the girth of him easy to take.

Your lips meld together on the first downstroke of your hips in which he is fully sheathed. He fits perfectly into you, like a key in its lock. You sigh into his mouth at how blissful, how correct it feels to be filled by him. But that is the extent of your tenderness. You have waited too long for this, and you are nothing short of a force of nature when it comes to taking your pleasure.

He groans at the shift in you, feeling the ripple of muscle in your powerful thighs as you begin your onslaught, bouncing yourself in his lap with lecherous intent. You lean back to grace him with a delicious eyeful of your body, delighting in how he cradles the small of your back to support you, hands splayed across your arching spine. His honey-soft gaze sharpens, and his tongue follows suit.

But his voice is nothing short of reverent when he looks up at you and asks: “Do you know what you look like?”

And you smile down at him, wicked and carnal, lifting your hands to your hair to exaggerate the bounce of your breasts, “Tell me, Viktor.”

“You ah— You look like a whore, riding my cock like this,” he rasps, bolstered by the way your sweet lips part and your head falls back in exaltation, “Like you were made to fuck me, my little menace. Next time you do this, I will make you sit on my cock and wait until I find a stopping point, do you understand?”  

You nod with the sway of your body, trusting your balance enough to reach up, to cradle an all too neglected breast in your hand. “Keep talking like that and I won’t last,” you breathe, your thighs burning and your core throbbing in time with your surging heartbeat.

“Already? Sweet (Y/N), you want to cum, lyubov?”

“Yes, yes, yes—” you chant, a prayer to him, as he builds you up, higher and higher.

“Then by all means, use me.”

And like your body in his lap, something in you collapses. You fall against his chest, your hands in his hair a death grip, and do exactly as he suggests. Your hips drop into the bony cradle of his own and don’t rise again, not fully. You rock frantically against him, approaching the realm of hysterics at the relief born of your clit against his skin. It’s so mind-numbingly good, so abysmally delicious that you’re salivating onto his shoulder. You do not care.

Not when his hands grip your hips with a gentle insistence, dragging you down harder against his cock. Not when he is bringing you to ruin with the breathy pants, the keening groans that fall against your ear, and when you can feel him writhing, trying to fuck up into you.

And not when you are finally, blissfully cumming in his lap at the behest of your clit, rubbed feverishly against the slick skin at the base of his cock.

You grab his face urgently, trying to tell him so, begging him to follow you into oblivion. But your mouth can only form the word ‘fuck’ in a long, drawn out whine against his lips as you grind yourself to completion and your eyes shutter, phantasmal colors dancing in that darkness.

The sight of you coming undone, so messy in your downfall, throws him off that very same ledge. A shallow, broken sound leaves his lips and you feel the telltale twitch of his cock emptying inside you, holding onto your hips like a man drowning. Breathing heavy, he kisses his thanks onto your lips, once, twice, before you dare to look at what you’ve done to him.

“Hello…” you whisper, almost shy, opening your eyes to a man with bruised lips, disheveled hair, and clothes entirely out of place. Pathetically in love, you are bewitched all over again.

“Hello,” he echos, soft as silk, “You are… so very good to me. I think you are my greatest temptation.”

It’s a compliment, certainly, but the weight of what you’ve done slams into you at terminal velocity. Your voice comes out scratchy and wavering, “I’m sorry— I’m so sorry, this was selfish.”

You start to squirm, trying to dismount and get out of range before he develops the good sense to be resentful of your poor choices. But his arms wrap around you, and the soothing of his hand your back keeps you in place with little effort on his part.

“I have never known you to be a selfish lover, (Y/N).” He bows to kiss your collarbone sweetly, if only to lessen the blow when he adds, “Just impatient. I would have finished my work at a reasonable hour with or without interruption. But I suppose you feel better now, yes?”

“Yes… and no,” you shrug.

“No?” he asks, and he does have the good sense to look worried.

“You haven’t even bent me over your desk yet,” you pout like it’s obvious, watching him swallow thickly; half hard, you can feel his cock twitch inside of you. “But I’ll be patient now. This time, I can wait.”

[alieinthemorning]

Could i request boyfriend headcanons for Pomefiore? (Or just Epel lol)

Boyfriend Headcanons [First Years]

Content: Fluff, Headcanons

Pronouns: None

Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.

Ace Trappola

This man is in LOVE love.

He’s the type to fall in love all over again over the smallest things you do.

Smile at him and he’ll get butterflies 

Reach for his hand first, and it’ll take everything in him to not cheer on the spot.

He keeps it cool.

Most of the time

Mostly when you’re in public lol

Speaking of the public, PDA is a must.

I already headcanon that Ace is a pretty physical person. 

He just likes to have some form of contact. 

So most of the time, you’re down one hand because he’s got one in his grasp. 

Deuce Spade

Deuce is probably the most chill of the group.

For the most part.

Unlike Ace, he doesn’t really have a poker face.

So if you make him flustered by, you know, just existing, his face will turn so red

Like, please make sure that he’s not on the verge of passing out.

But once that has passed, he’ll probs just do more of the little things

Since he’s gotta save up for a radass blast cycle date

Oh! Also he’s not the biggest fan of PDA but if you need him, he’s there

BUT IF SOMEONE TRIES HIM, THEY BETTER GET READY FOR A THRASHING

Jack Howl

Jack is the reason why you started waking up so early.

At first it was a hassle, but after seeing the sunrise 

(and Jack after his run WHEW)

You started to like it.

He def would try to get you into to joining him for his morning jogs,

And you would try! But um, Jack is built different, so that just doesn't work out!

BUT since you’re so cool, you come up with the idea to have a little post jog picnic out for him! 

So y’all get to watch the sunrise and eat some good food

Honestly, what else could you ask for lol

OH! One last thing :)

Jack is so overprotective.

If his instincts feel even the slightest off, he’s gunning for you.

He’s gotta make sure that you are okay.

Epel Felmier

You better get ready for the country accent to come out in full effect

Because you’re the only person he lets hear it

(which of course you love and adore)

An apple a day, keeps the doctor away, is how the saying goes

But it brings you closer to your farm boy, so its a win-win for you. 

Anyhow, I feel like Epel would want your relationship to be lowkey

Until someone finds out, tries to tease y’all, and Epel just kinda snaps.

And then suddenly everyone (besides Rook because ain’t no way his nosey ass wouldn’t already know) knows.

But that’s okay, because this ain’t about them.

This is about you and your country boy (I love youuu! Awngh). 

Sebek Zigvolt

Unfortunately for you, you are his second love. 

Malleus will always be his first.

BUT that doesn’t mean he doesn’t treat you with the utmost respect. 

Everyone, and I mean, everyone knows about your relationship. 

Discretion is not one of Sebek’s strong points. 

“My partner” and “My significant other” are what you are mostly known as. 

He talks about you just as much as Malleus.

(Silver likes you, thinks you’re cool, but is tired of hearing about you ALL THE TIME).

(Lilia finds it endearing and Malleus is somewhat intrigued but also “WHEN WILL IT BE ME?” for himself lmao).

He also pays attention to the smallest details, so he’ll know when something is wrong immediately. 

However, he'll then kinda goes into a hover mood

Which is nice but also Sebek please take a step back. 

This was all over the place but um we're gonna put the ball into my dog's court because she kept making that little face at me and I just had to stop and pet her and she's so cute I love her so much.

she says hi! :D

This drops in like 2 minutes and I just realized just how out of it I was when I wrote it, so I apologize haha.

Ko-Fi | Commission | Masterlist

[jiminrings]

lunchbox koo first time ughhh it’ll be so cute >< jungkook is shy but after the first time he gets freaky and gets more confident regarding that

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

it’s stem koo’s first time, and he could cry in bliss just knowing that it’s with you — it would always be you.

Jungkook thinks he shouldn't complain.

He thinks he shouldn't complain not because there isn't any room for it (plenty for it actually), but because he thinks there's nothing about it at all that's complaint-worthy and is demanding of any revision.

You're used to him complaining at this point and atleast he has the nerve to feel quite sorry, but it's just something that eats at his nerves when he wants to raise his grievance with you.

In fact, Jungkook thinks he should be grateful because after all, his so-called "problem" is something that some people would fight tooth and nail for to have.

His ears perk when you instruct him to move the full-length mirror to his right, cheeks puffing out mid-thought at the word that it stops him completely from adjusting the placement of the mirror to your liking.

“Don’t," he softly mumbles, brows knitting in the barrage of emotions he doesn't know how to dissect, “don’t call me that.”

He sees the confusion register in your face, staring down on him while you’re stood on your bed and he suddenly feels the need to back-track his words.

“Call you what?” your eyebrows furrow in recollection of everything you’ve ever said and called him for the past hour, seeing your boyfriend shy away from your glance with a childish look on his face that it sinks in eventually. “Baby?”

Jungkook cusses under his breath on how you managed to catch on so quick, putting his hand on his nape as if you were gonna eat him alive on what he’s gonna say next.

He sometimes hates himself for being so honest when it comes to you, and sometimes he hates how understanding you could be because he couldn’t predict what you’d react to him now.

“Yoongi teased me awhile ago.”

It’s a pathetically small mumble and Jungkook isn’t even sure if the words ever crossed past his lips, but he’s sure that they left him somehow because you’re laughing.

You’re full-on cackling either at him or with him and as much as it makes his lips curve at the sound of your laughter, it makes him defensive.

Defensive enough that he doesn’t realize he’s pouting because it’s his second nature, scrunching his face in the process.

“You’re not supposed to laugh. Even Jin elbowed me when you called me that.”

He's dancing around the term of endearment and he chalks it up to how he distinctly remembers Yoongi repeating it with his eyes squinted and his eyebrows wiggling, added with Seokjin's sharp elbows that made him consciously feel his ribs.

“Shouldn’t you be happy?” you tilt your head with genuine curiosity, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Don’t get me wrong, but didn’t you tell me that you wanted to be closer with them? That you want them to loosen up to you? They’re just teasing you, Jungkook.”

“Y-yeah, I did say that, you’re right,” he sheepishly admits, already aware that he was contradicting himself from the start. “I swear it could count as bullying though.”

Jungkook feels appalled for a split second before he realizes that the laugh he's given you is worthwhile, a tiny bit satisfied that his complaints atleast gave you sincere amusement.

It's in ridiculous moments like these that you realize your boyfriend tends to be a little more sensitive than the rest of the people you're accustomed to. A little more fragile, a little more eroded around the edges but it doesn't mean that he isn't any less compact at the core.

“Take it up to student affairs then.”

“Seokjin is student affairs. You’re not funny.”

The frown on his face gives you all the more reason to observe him this way — sensitive, warm, lovable.

Jungkook can't be Jin because your boyfriend would whimper at the slightest onset of an inconvenience but he'd whimper even more if he can't manage to resolve it. Meanwhile, your friend installs Ikea furniture without a manual and sleeps on it for weeks until he finds the resolve to continue trying.

Jungkook can't be Yoongi either because the former would bend over backwards and drink a mistaken order given to him, even if it means he paid extra for something he didn't want. On the other hand, the latter isn't afraid of coming straight to the counter holding your burger when you clearly said that you don't want pickles in it.

He can't be the other two people you treasure in your life and it's more than okay for you, the special distinction of how he stands within your heart already being enough.

“Alright, alright,” you wave him off, going straight to the mirror to adjust it because he's clearly too perplexed on how you just agreed with him. “I won’t ever call you baby again.”

Jungkook has no qualms with you but he certainly has one now, mouth parted at how that was too easy. How his request that he didn't even wholeheartedly mean became approved that quick.

A squeak leaves him before he knows it, looking between you and the reflection of himself.

“Well now you’re just guilt-tripping me.”

“I’m respecting your wishes,” you whisper playfully, making him gasp as he loops his arm around yours to effectively pull you closer out of panic.

“Don’t say ever,” he emphasizes and then could you see how his eyes widen at the particular word, cheeks puffed while he tries to get you to meet his eyes. “You’re never gonna call me baby? Ever?”

“Nope,” you breathlessly chuckle as you attempt to unloop your arm from his, earning yourself an even more eager pull to his direction. “Why would I? I’m just granting your wishes.”

Jungkook looks stupefied at your retort and you have an inkling in your mind that he looks like he'd actually plead with you, being unmistaken when you see his bottom lip actually quiver.

“Can I take it back?”

He hugs you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder and effectively nuzzling his nose to the crook of your neck. It's a habit of his to burrow into you whenever he gets his hands on you, something you've noticed him doing to comfort himself.

You obviously don't mind it but it's something you've come to know that Jungkook doesn't even realize the effect of, not that it matters, but it's in softly domestic moments like these that it packs an extra effect.

“Call me baby again.”

He mumbles against your neck and with the way you look at his reflection, you're sure it's not out of that eager will. He's hung-up on the pet name and you're clearly hung-up on much different things.

"No."

You disagree so certainly and you're clueless that you've already uttered it out loud. It's a clear no to the things that materialized in your head out of thin air, all because of the way Jungkook nuzzles into your neck and your first thought is to give him more access.

He's oblivious to the internal conflict in your mind — oblivious to the way how there's a lump on your throat from realizing that at your point of view in front of the mirror, Jungkook engulfs you as a whole unit.

It's a weekend and the only plans you had were to buy a mirror and get takeout for lunch; simple as that. But then Yoongi caught wind of your plans, and decided that he'd come with because he reasons that he wants to see if the mirror you're buying is worthy enough because of course, it's only natural that whatever you buy is his too — or atleast because he argues that it's the law.

Then came Jin, who woke up because of Yoongi's insistent voice that if you don't let him come with you to the store, it could only mean that you don't love him anymore. Naturally, he shoots straight up from bed because he can't pass up on egging either of you. Coincidentally, it also happens that he bought a new keyring and he wants to drive to see if it would obnoxiously jangle around. Even more coincidentally, he has an extra hundred dollars in the event that the needs to add in to your budget because he wants your mirror to atleast be three feet taller than him.

You should've expected that when you replied to Jungkook's good morning message at an earlier time than you usually did, which he knows could only mean that you're running an errand, he automatically asks if he could come with and walks to your dorm even before you say yess.

It's far too hot for his usual hoodie and sweats combo that he came straight into your space without much thought of what he should wear for an errand he just only had a vague idea of — a fitted thin black shirt and black basketball shorts that cut off above his knees.

Jungkook's too oblivious with the way he has his arms around your middle, snaked snugly right below your boobs, with his face nuzzling your neck and the costly effects it has on you and your sanity.

“Why not? That’s my wish. You just told me that you’re granting mine.”

He's still fixed on gaining back his name but you're way past it, instead fixating your gaze downwards to empty your thoughts.

It's okay. It's completely and utterly okay. It's just hot, your boyfriend's wearing a different outfit, and it just happens that he's naturally clingy. He's clueless and you're not pointing it out to him that you're bothered in a way that you're certain he's not quite ready to help with.

“Pick another, Jungkook. I’ll rethink it in two business days because apparently, someone’s embarrassed of me.”

You recover fairly quickly and you don't have to shrug him off you because he detaches himself to look at you in shock, his only points of warmth on you being his hands on your shoulders while he looks at your reflection.

“W-what? I’m not! I’m just-“ he trips over his words when you look at him with a mocking raise to your brow, making him mumble in defeat. “Shy. You know I’m shy.”

“I know, bab-“ you intentionally slip up and only then could you see him scowling at your teasing, bumping your elbow to the back to lightly jab at him.

You still have your mind to purge your thoughts from and mirrors to clean, laying your point as best as you could when you suddenly push him off you with your hips, getting an offended gasp afterwards.

“I know, Jungkook. But you know that Yoongi and Jin are my friends and they’re just teasing you. You can’t whine at everything, y’know?”

“I am not whiney!”

Jungkook's eyes widen considerably, talking in a pout while he desperately defends himself from what he thinks is your most ruthless dig at him.

His eyes are still wide at you even if he waits for you to say something, anything, that would give him the peace of mind that you agree with him not being whiny at all. He's blinking every second in the fear that you'd mouth the words anytime now, but it never comes. The agreement to be in his side never comes band all he gets is your nose scrunching up at him.

“Sure you aren’t.”

You didn't know what to expect now that you've egged him further but it's definitely not him tugging your shirt towards him, making the fabric cling onto your front more than snugly as he cages you in to his chest innocently.

“Take that back."

“Jungkook,” you warn him with no real bite just yet, sending him daggers through the mirror but he doesn't relent and in fact returns your glare that's twice more stubborn.

He frowns petulantly, brows knitted together in his attempt at correction. “It’s baby.”

A breath you didn't even know you were holding leaves you in a breeze, unaware that your boyfriend's stubbornness all along is something that would knock you out of breath.

You try to ignore how Jungkook easily pulled you into him without much thought, only to possessively embrace you into his hold — all of that done out of pure innocence, just because you agreed to not call him baby.

“Do you know what you did just now?”

His wide curious eyes later turned into realization, hand scrambling to cover your mouth for what you're gonna point out next but you get it out even before he could.

“You just whined.”

Jungkook audibly groans to your ear and you have to close your eyes just to stop thinking full-time, not wanting your mind to wander to the other scenarios that would pull out such a guttural sound out of him once or rather several more.

He frowns and you're unfazed because you're used to him doing so when he doesn't get what he wants, edging you to the thought that he's really quite the stubborn one out of the two of you. The clingier, stubborn, and more eager one in the relationship.

Jungkook stands up fully and just when you think that he's letting go off you, his arms bend at the elbows and proceed to level them underneath your armpits — poised in a position as if he's holding you back and keeping you still while he looks at you in the mirror but of course; he's clueless.

You try to keep your thoughts at bay but it's beyond hard knowing that he keeps feeding into them without knowing, not being able to resist either when you break out of his hold to get out of such an enticing position you've once seen in your dreams, making him tumble back a little with a pout.

"Move away a little."

He doesn't take your dismissal to heart because he sees you pulling up a chair in front of the mirror, standing on top of it to hang the crochet heart Jin made for you.

Did you plan to put up the powder blue crochet heart on top of your mirror? Yes. Did you really need to do it now? Not at all, but you felt it was necessary to buffer your impure thoughts into focusing on a wholesome and handmade craft your friend gave you.

You think it's helping because it's immediately removing your attention on how delectable your boyfriend looks and instead refocus it onto sticking it up as even and as proportional as you could. What doesn't help, is that Jungkook's first instinct upon seeing you stand up on a chair is to put his hands on your waist tightly.

His hands are large and pretty and warm and it makes you cuss underneath your breath of how this is the second time the vision of him holding you up appears, the plan of clearing your thoughts immediately backfiring.

“I can make another wish, right?”

“If it makes you whine less, sure.”

You reply almost immediately, relieved that he's talking and deviating the conversation into somewhere else. His whines always seep into the back of your head and as much as you'd want to hear them, the timing of it all doesn't match up.

You're just about to pry his hands off from your waist but it doesn't happen because Jungkook holds you even more tightly than before, a heavy breath leaving him that it has you glancing at his reflection in the mirror.

“Take my virginity.”

Jungkook doesn't hesitate thinking twice that he's caught you off-guard because you make no move in hiding your surprise, the crochet heart you were in the verge of sticking onto the wall with mounting tape already falling unceremoniously.

His eyes widen when there's an impalpable silence that consumes the both of you but he doesn't find himself wanting to take the words back, completely confused when you step down to the ground with no hesitation.

“Give me my first time.”

He makes it clear by saying it again, strengthening what he's just said seconds ago but it feels like it's been hours since your face is indifferent, nonchalant even as you sit on the edge of your bed to open your phone.

“Don’t just say that.”

He hears you grit through your teeth and Jungkook fears that he's offended you for a second, although he doesn't find any hint of it on your face that remains the same. You look unbothered just as usual and not as if he just asked you to fuck him — he thought he'd get a bigger and perhaps more loving reaction than what you're giving him now.

“But I mean it — I do want it,” he explains sincerely, plucking your phone from your fingers and tossing it behind you, earning a squawk in return. “But not unless you don’t want to.”

Jungkook's voice becomes small and becomes regretful that he just snatched your phone away from you because initially, he just did it to get you to look at him and not avoid eye contact! But here he is, the little stunt he pulled already biting him in the ass.

You look up at him and it's unlike of him to be the one to shy away from all the gazing he does at you, already knowing that he feels touchy at the moment. He's pretty just like you've realized before; defined and soft at the same time, his faded blonde hair longer as they reach past his ears and are tucked behind them, his eyes more visible since he's taken off his glasses and perched them on your vanity just minutes ago.

“Of course I want to,” your voice is as gentle and as soothing it could be, instantly garnering the attention of your boyfriend who's standing in front of you. “It’s just that I don’t want you to feel obligated because you’re with me.”

It's true and you mean it wholeheartedly, comprising the majority of the reasons why you always try to tone down the mature thoughts you have regarding your boyfriend because it feels intrusive almost, even if he's boldly told you about the thoughts he had of you before.

It's internalized pressure you always try to contain because you can't exactly tell Jin nor Yoongi how much you want your boyfriend to fuck and do the likes with you, knowing that it would invite even more pressure into your mind.

Jungkook's heart expands twofold at the consideration you always have for him, eyes bulging as he desperately shuts down the concern you have for him.

“I’m completely sure, I promise.”

He bobs his head up and down in lightning speed and his hands automatically reach out for you to take, wanting you to pull him down on the bed, but you apparently don't do it quick enough which is why he immediately sits down beside you and places you on his lap instead. "Never been more sure ever than right now, I'm telling you."

Your laugh gets cut short because he puts his hand behind your head and pulls you close fervently, kissing you like he means it that you're pleasantly surprised when he immediately manages to take control, drawing out a moan from him when you happily cooperate.

You've always known that Jungkook's an attentive lover; always keen and eager and trying to please. He's giddy and vocal and it crosses your mind that you're all he's ever known when it comes to this, the realization of the fact giving more warmth to you than you initially thought it would.

Jungkook makes you tilt your head so he could kiss you deeper and it doesn't make him glaze over the fact that he doesn't want you to strain your neck, his hand affectionately cupping your nape while your hands get busy trying to get his shirt over and off him, feeling the warmth of his hand on your exposed skin.

"How do I-" he whispers, grunting particularly when you grind on his clothed cock that's straining through his basketball shorts, "how do we do this?"

He feels an unmeasurable heat within and he knows he can't chalk it up to the weather this time, but rather, he'd point it out to you who's grinding on him as your hips rut forward, the warmth of your center slowly bleeding into his own because your shorts are thin and he could make himself silly just trying to imagine you bare.

“It’s your first time, Koo,” you scratch lightly in circles on his back, turning him over the edge more than it does to soothe him. “I’ll take care of you.”

Jungkook's eyes prick at your promise and he finds his mouth falling open because not soon after your assurance, you undress right in front of him without hesitation, instantly finding religion in the silent worship he gives you with his eyes.

“I think I’m gonna cum already.”

The words tumble out of him without filter and it makes you snort mid-way in making him shimmy out of his shorts, cock springing up to his tummy that he feels almost embarrassed under your watchful gaze.

“Save it,” you stifle giggles at his candidness but it became his turn to stop breathing when you sit on his thighs, eyes wide in realization that the two of you are so close and the fact alone makes him want to explode.

Jungkook's vow of speechlessness becomes void the moment your hand pumps his desperately pink and throbbing member, mewling into your kiss that makes his eyes squint in pleasure.

His hands dig into your hips and you relish with the way he kneads it like he's learned how to when he massages your neck when you're buried in schoolwork and it's the only thing he could do to help you out because you're in your senior year and he has no clue when he squints at your textbooks. There's eager intention with how he kneads the flesh, his neatly-trimmed nails leaving marks when you squeeze his cock a little too tight.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, am I? I read somewhere that it can hurt sometimes.”

Jungkook speaks the moment he feels you slowing down with your ministrations, figuring out that this is the part when it actually happens and it makes you smile unexpectedly.

He's humble and there's no cockiness behind it (even if next time you want him to own up just rightfully), just full of worry in theory and soon in practice because after all, you are his first.

“You’re big, Jungkook,” you mumble to his lips and he doesn't know how to take what you've just said, the worry leaving his face when you press your lips to him to calm his worries. “But it’s okay. It’s just gonna be a bit of a stretch for me, while it’s gonna be tight for you.”

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna hurt you,” he's looking up at you with innocent eyes and the intimacy in it almost knocks you out of breath, a chuckle leaving your lips.

“You’re not,” you assure him sincerely, the thought of having it otherwise next time making your tongue poke your cheek in thought, shaking the thought away in the meantime as you runs your hands down his arms. “If it makes you feel better, you can stretch me out first.”

“Yes please.”

Jungkook nods and eagerly heeds your suggestion to satisfy his qualms, licking his lips when he looks down at you because you're practically dripping and he could feel the wetness sticking into his inner thighs.

He feels your lips on his neck as you let him get lost looking at your pussy, his breathing evidently getting heavy until you let him fuck you with his eyes enough, disrupting the static in his head.

“There. Put a finger in me.”

Jungkook's eyes widen at the bluntness of your words, his hand brushing accidentally to your inner thigh that it makes you exhale loudly. “I just put it in?”

The comical gaze he's fixed on you makes you snicker, humming a tune while he barely blinks.

“Well you fuck with me it for awhile, but yes, Koo. You put it in me as the first step.”

Jungkook blushes and he avoids mulling over the stupid question he's just asked that should've been rhetoric by now because for fuck's sake, the last time the two of you were in bed, he did eat the cum out of you while you were still in your shorts.

He wastes no time and inserts his finger into your dripping hole, seeing his finger disappear seamlessly, engulfed in your tight warm walls that the sight makes the lump in his throat hard to swallow.

The intrusion of his middle finger as he plunges the entirety of it makes you throw your head back at the sensation you haven't quite achieved in the past few months by yourself, clenching around the digit in bliss.

“B-but you’re so tight."

He stutters when you clench around his finger once more, experimenting in pulling it out until only the tip of his digit is in you and plunges it back again, a heedy moan escaping you with no remorse. “Fuck.”

You lift your hips to sink down on his finger and it makes him realize that he's sat frozen at the thought of how your pussy is so tight and he finds it overwhelmingly pleasurable even if it's just his finger in you, finding it within him to come to his senses and thrust it upwards when you didn’t expect it.

“Imagine it’s your cock in me,” you mutter in between moans when he experiments with ramming his digit into you faster, withdrawing a fucked-out whine when he unintentionally hooks it upward. “Feels like this but it’s much much better.”

Jungkook whines from your words alone because the thought itself makes him salivate, adding another digit into your pussy as he looks down to how it stretches and accommodates them snuggle, pointing them curved inwards that you instantly rub yourself around his fingers in small circles.

He keeps focused as he tries to draw more of the sounds you give him, egging him on to fuck you harder with his fingers because the way you moan his name is a reward within itself.

“You ready?”

In his selfless attempt at pleasuring you, Jungkook didn't realize that your hand's holding his wrist in place to keep it still, not even sure at all if he's made you cum already because his head's clouded with pleasure from giving you your own.

His eyes are dilated and focused entirely on you, watching your every move as you ease off from his fingers, holding his digits like he's never seen them before and sees them glistening with your essence — and Jungkook finds himself popping them into his mouth, moaning in ecstasy at a full taste of you.

The sight's enough to make your eyes widen, clenching around nothing when you see your boyfriend lapping up at his fingers to taste every last bit of you as if you aren't in front of him.

“You’re too precious,” you kiss the corner of his mouth that’s glossy with the taste of you and he hums in contentment with it, eyes shifting open when you pull away and you stand up from your seat on his thighs.

“Where are you going?”

He doesn't hide the panic in his voice at all and you want him to get rid of it entirely because you're not going anywhere, looking back at him as he gets back to his sense on how you're literally just five feet away from him.

“This is the part where you come with me,” you nudge him with a tilt of your head, a blush dusting his cheeks because he panicked for no reason. He stands up attentively, walking to where you stand right beside the chair you've just stood up on minutes ago. “Sit.”

Jungkook doesn't complain but he finds himself confused while he complies either way, looking back to the bed that he thought would be in use just like all the prior knowledge he's seen in the media he's consumed.

“I’ll ride you first,” you say and he effectively catches his attention, head whipping up to you. “Told you I was gonna take care of you, right?”

It's only then that it clicks in Jungkook's mind that he's sitting on a chair in front of the mirror because you're gonna ride him, the dots connecting as he's never realized that his impromptu request of you taking his virginity would end up in front of the very thing that got him coming over to your dorm today in the first place.

He's excited and he can't understand why you can't just ride him right now, your eyes flickering as if you're looking for something that he just now realizes.

“Are you looking for a condom?”

“Yeah,” you nod with amused eyes, pleasantly surprised that Jungkook noticed your silent search and even more surprised when he pipes up right after.

“I have one.”

“Since when did you carry around condoms?”

The giggle leaves you before you even realize it and Jungkook doesn't even flinch, the words leaving him determinedly and seriously that it makes him smile at the end of it.

“Since you gave me a blowjob.”

He watches your face register confusion until it turns into genuine laughter, making his mouth drop open in faux offense because you seem to not believe him. “I’m not kidding! I thought I should be ready at any moment after that.”

"You're insufferable. Where is it?"

His own chest rises in laughter when you speak in between peals of giggles, pointing to the pocket of his shorts as you walk to retrieve them.

“I went home hard that night because I literally couldn’t stop thinking. A-and I made Jimin drive me to the grocery as soon as I got home,” he winces in recollection and it makes you throw your head back when you come back to standing beside him, holding a silver packet between your fingers that his eyes glint at.

“No you did not,” you gasp in shock for what he probably made Jimin go through, although not entirely surprised because he's told you countless times that his roommate acts as a brazen older brother for him.

“I made him buy me my condoms because I was too shy to do it myself.”

“What a friend Jimin is.”

You chuckle as you put your leg over Jungkook's, getting acquainted his thighs and dangerously near his cock that it makes his reply weaken in anticipation while you're still dazed in laughter.

“You should hear when he asked me my size and I didn’t know how to determine it.”

“Oh my god,” you remark once you visualize the scene of Jimin asking your boyfriend his size in condoms, the laughter dying down as Jungkook's chest is frozen still. “I’ll kiss him on the cheek next time that I see him because he’s a saint.”

“Now don’t do that.”

He scoffs at the tiny reminder you set for yourself, rolling his eyes that later narrow when he sees a long line of your spit droop down to his member that already so wet, already slick and leaking even if you've barely done anything.

He watches you tear the packaging with nimble fingers and it reminds him how he's just practically seconds away of feeling and filling you, watching you pinch the tip of the condom before snugly fitting it on his cock.

“You take care of me so good.”

Jungkook mumbles and he says it not because you've just put on a condom for him, but because he feels the thought flash in neon lights on his head and he feels compelled to say nothing but the truth.

You kiss him on the lips for it, his eyes shutting close in sweetness when you press one more peck before pulling away.

“Tell me when it gets too much for you.”

Jungkook could never anticipate the sheer euphoria he feels at the back of his spine when you sink yourself on him achingly slow, head thrown back at the gush of newfound tightness.

His tip prods in you and once he looks down to see where your pussy stretches around him, it makes his eyes roll back sinfully, mouth parted open.

“So fucking tight.”

You sink down completely on him and that's when you feel the fullness of him that you've been craving for, stretching you into a pleasurable ache that could only be fixed as you have more of him into your pussy.

“You fill me up so good.”

“Oh my god,” Jungkook moans as he feels you on the hilt of his cock, unconsciously bucking up as he maxes out his length into your pussy that makes you shudder.

“That’s the spot, baby,” you whine at his pulsating length and he mewls attentively at the return of your endearment for him, wanting to milk out your sounds as much as he could at the moment.

He's stuck on how to do because he's sure he could just sit here and cum from your warmth alone, his thoughts being interrupted when you whisper to his ears in a definite tone.

“Sit pretty while I fuck myself on you.”

You suddenly bounce on his cock and Jungkook’s tummy clenches at the feeling of you and it shows with how he moans pornographically, your warm walls clenching around him for an even tighter fit that it suffocates him in the best way possible.

His balls feel full and Jungkook has his arms around your naked waist tightly and possessively, almost as if you’d slip away when you’re holding onto his shoulders just as tight.

“You love that? Love it when I bounce up and down your cock?”

Your voice is desperately on-edge and has the slightest hint of a mock, making your boyfriend's stomach tighten as he hits an intimately soft part inside you that makes you moan just as instantly, his closer position of him leaning against his chair making his cock graze your g-spot.

“I love it so much please.”

Jungkook's overwhelmed with pleasure but it's just not enough because he wants all of it, adjusting his grip on you in a way that he can easily lift you from underneath your thighs, bouncing you down even harder as he watches your pussy embrace him completely.

His neediness rubs a part of your ego you didn't even know you possessed, sucking a hickey on his neck and he obediently gives your more access, his eyes shut close in ecstasy.

Jungkook looks beautiful underneath you as you fuck yourself onto him but it's just not enough for you, wanting to see him in entirety.

“Open your eyes, baby,” you graze your nails on the length of his spine that makes him whine in sensitivity, eyes bursting open. You briefly stop riding him that it makes him whine at the loss of contact, bending backwards to grab his glasses that's perched on your vanity. “Wear your glasses for me.”

He blinks at your through thick lashes when you put them on him, holding by the chin to kiss his jaw as you make him look at the mirror behind you, the reflection of you turned against it while he's facing the glass, legs open and cock inside you as he realizes that he gets to see the entirety of you in this way.

“Look at how pretty you are while you’re fucking me.”

It's the last thing he hears before you bounce on his cock harder than you ever did, throwing your hips circling around him into the mix that it pushes him closer to his impending climax.

“Moaning for me prettily too. Aren’t you a treat, hm?”

Jungkook's vocal and it's never been lost on you that he tells you exactly how he feels, no shame in being loud because it's exactly what you make him feel.

His eyes are open and his eyebrows are raised in bliss, mouth parting open as you leave open-mouthed kisses on his neck that makes him whine even harder.

His eyeglasses were barely at the brim of fogging but now they're slightly frosted, making you wipe at them in hurry to see how your boyfriend's eyes are fixed on nothing but you at the moment but that's when you see — the whole reason why they were starting to fog up anyways.

“Are you crying?” you wipe on his tears from underneath his glasses and you slow down your pace, whining in place when he pinches your ass before ramming into you from his position below because you stopped moving.

“I’m crying because you make me feel so good.”

Jungkook admits immediately and he only became conscious of the tears on his cheeks when you pointed it out, unaware of them altogether because he's so stuck in his cloud of pleasure that nothing else mattered besides you and the high you give him.

You grind on him as soon as he bottoms out, keeping yourself pressed to him that drawls a needy stutter of your name in an instant.

“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna-“ he rams extra harder into you and grinds his hips in in small circles, “-cum! I’m gonna fucking-“

Jungkook moans the loudest you've ever heard from him as he shoots his release into the condom, feeling you riding out his high that makes him sound even more guttural.

He cums loads, knowing that he has it in him that his own high gives you your own not shortly after, the extra warmth enveloping his member that makes him whine in overstimulation.

He's sweaty with his head tilted back in the chair, his hair damp and his neck wet as he hears you chuckle, snapping him back to reality as he pulls you to his sweaty chest while he’s still inside of you.

“Hmm, are you okay? Do you want some water?” you check up on him amidst being in quite of a pant yourself. “I have some Gatorade in the fridge, I think. It’s for my next game but you can have it.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, pinching your side at the sound of you teasing him as you've literally just finished giving him his first and most mind-blowing orgasm he's ever had.

“Again?”

He toothily grins as he exhales, making you roll your eyes while he waits in patience.

“Catch your breath first, Jungkook.”

“I am, I am! Give me like two minutes and after that, we can fuck again, right?”

The transparent anticipation on his tone makes you coo at him, scratching his hair that makes him hum in contentment.

“Do you have any more condoms?”

What was supposed to be an innocent and genuine question makes Jungkook suddenly straighten up on his seat, almost making you fall backwards if he hadn't secured a hand on the small of your back.

His eyes widen comically, his cheeks reddening in recollection.

“When Jimin drove me to the grocery that night I uh, I used my debit card because all the bills I had were too big for the regular packs.”

“Jungkook...” you mumble his name and then could he hear the tone that basically inquired him on what the hell did he do, making him sheepishly look at the ceiling to avoid your gaze.

“A-and I didn’t want the cashier to hate me, nor Jimin because I made him buy them, because it was night and the cash registers were already probably collected and they didn’t have change.”

“Jungkook, oh my god...”

You should’ve noticed the way Jungkook’s backpack crinkles, or why the front pocket must be bulging even if he explains that he barely puts stuff in it because it's easily the most stealable portion of anyone's bag.

It explains why Jin once thought that he was hiding a tinfoil lunch in there one time when he walked into your dorm, not finding any reason for him to pack a lunch when you automatically make an extra portion for him when he comes over.

You make Jungkook look at you and his cheeks are bulging as he tries to hide the laughter from seeing you look beyond shocked at him, knowing that your boyfriend's considerate but not to this level.

“I bought a whole tray.”

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.

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and at last here it is!! stem koo's first time :D we've finally come to this peak besties omg if you've been here sometime when the chronological series was on-going, you'd know how this moment is ultimately monumental <3

as always, lmk what you think!! i love answering asks :D what do you want to see from the lunchbox lovers next? send them here <3