#obi wan fanfic

[deakyjoe]

Absolution

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader (afab, fem)

Category: smut, sex pollen

Summary: Obi-Wan really should have let his curiosity go and avoided that flower.

Warnings: 18+, smut (!!), sex pollen, slight dubcon (because of sex pollen but all consensual), unprotected p in v sex, master kink, slight sub!obi-wan, slight dom!reader, reader talks obi-wan through it basically, suggestions of inappropriate use of a lightsaber, virgin!obi-wan, religious guilt, hints of reader’s past feelings, reader kind of ignores some Jedi rules, kissing, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, a lot of talks of fluids I feel, slight angst I guess, let me know if I missed anything!

Word count: 4.9k

A/N: Happy May the Fourth! Happy Star Wars Day! Wrote an Obi-Wan fic last year so thought I’d keep up the tradition this year as well. It’s not the best thing I’ve ever written, certainly not the best smut, but I did end up rushing it a little to get it posted today so… sorry! This is for @lightwxlker who I told about this over lunch at uni <3 (feel free to read but please never look me in the eye again if you do). Can’t wait to see you later to see The Phantom Menace!!

Consider buying me a coffee :)

Absolution:

(Noun)

Formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment.

Declaration that a person’s sins have been forgiven.

It felt like you'd been trekking through the dense forest for days. Really, it had only been a few hours. But with no end in sight, and Obi-Wan's continuous promise of almost there, you were convinced that the two of you had been lost for about a week.

The Jedi had told you that you were in search of a hidden community that had answers to some questions that the Council had about... something. You didn't know. You rarely paid attention when Obi-Wan explained these things. As much as you respected him, these briefings started to sound the same after a while. It was the thing he reprimanded you for most often.

"Can we-" You wheezed. "Can we stop for just a minute?"

"Soon." He called over his shoulder simply, pushing aside a leafy branch for the both of you to pass through.

You considered pushing him over, tripping him up maybe, and even just stabbing him with your lightsaber. Just to have a break for a moment. It was unclear how he managed to walk through dense forest for hours on end without even a hint of fatigue peeking through. You envied him for it.

Luckily, your prayers were answered when a clearing appeared. It was small, sheltered by the canopy of trees above you, but it was a good place to stop. You didn't even have to say the word, Obi-Wan already knew what you wanted.

"Fine, rest here for a moment." He sighed, pointing at a rock.

You collapsed quickly, thankful for the brief reprieve, and watched as the Jedi made a slow circle around the clearing. He was inspecting every little thing there was to see. If there was one thing you had in common with the man, it was your curiosity and thirst for knowledge.

"Rather fascinating." He mumbled to himself, ignoring the burning of your stare on his back as he moved, poking at a fungus of some kind with the tip of his finger.

"Be careful. It might be poisonous." You warned, stretching out your legs in front of you.

"I know my living organisms." He replied steadily, pulling up and moving on to the next one.

It was a flower. Rather large, with pinkish petals and an indigo centre extending on from a bright green stem. It looked vaguely familiar to you. You racked your brain, thinking about the botany books you'd spent your spare time reading when Obi-Wan had insisted that you should know more about the planets you were constantly visiting.

Nothing was coming to you. Maybe you hadn't seen it in one of those books. Your head tilted as you watched the Jedi stroke gently at the petals with the backs of his fingers, mumbling about how it felt soft, and something came back to you when the flower seemed to move of its own accord.

"Get back." You shot up from the rock you were previously sitting on and took a quick step towards him.

"It's fine." He insisted, not looking at you - too entranced by the flower as he continued to caress the petals. He didn't know this one. He found it intriguing.

You remembered where you'd seen the flower before. A book hidden deep in the archives, where you ventured when you knew no one was looking, part of a collection of things that the Jedi were not supposed to have interest in.

Your pace picked up as the flower curled in on itself, the fleeting look of disappoint clear on Obi-Wan's face, reaching for his shoulder to wrench him back.

"No! Obi-Wan, stop!"

But it was too late.

As you made contact with his robes to pull him away, the flower blossomed open. A bright cloud of purple pollen burst out and coated the two of you, settling itself over your skin and infiltrating your lungs, and therefore your blood stream, as you breathed it in.

You coughed, scrubbing at yourself to try and get it off. But you knew you were past that.

The Jedi turned to you, surprised to see the panic in your eyes. "It's just flower pollen, nothing a little water won't wash away."

Your voice was shaky as you spoke. "What have you done?"

He frowned and glanced back at the plant. It wasn't one he recognised, granted, but he also hadn't been warned of anything dangerous in this area. So he really wasn't concerned. "I don't understand. What's wrong?"

"It's a flos venerem." You whispered. "We need to find shelter."

As you turned around in a slow circle, trying to decide which way you were more likely to find somewhere to figure everything out, Obi-Wan watched you with a curious gaze.

"And what is a flos venerem?"

You scoffed over your shoulder at him. "Do you ever read?"

You knew it was an unfair question considering the place you'd read about the flower wasn't one he, or any other Jedi, frequented but you were angry and frightened. Angry at him for not listening to your warnings. And frightened for yourself since you knew what the flower was going to do to you.

He looked on as you closed your eyes, feeling out with the Force. "Now is not the time to insult me. Tell me."

You whirled on him. "It's an aphrodisiac. A powerful one. And if we don't find shelter soon then you're going to be doing some strange things to these trees."

Obi-Wan frowned, puzzled by what you were saying. "Is there a cure?"

You laughed humourlessly, turning away from him again. "Is there a cure? Is there a cure, he asks. Ha!"

"An antidote?"

"No, there's no antidote." You hissed.

The effects of the pollen were already weighing on you. You imagined Obi-Wan was also feeling something as well, just unaware of it. At least you knew what you were supposed to be feeling. The Jedi Knight had no idea.

Your mouth felt dry, like sand on your tongue, and your skin was hot to the touch. A dull headache was forming at the base of your skull too and you knew these sensations would only get worse if you didn't do what the flower wanted you to. There really was only one way to fix it. But you couldn't find it in yourself to tell your companion the solution. You were ignoring the heavy feeling in the base of your abdomen.

Sensing your apprehension wasn't overstated, Obi-Wan pointed back in the direction you'd come from. "There was a cave a little while ago. We can go there and you can tell me more about this... aphrodisiac flower."

You only nodded, lacking the strength to tell him that you wouldn't be able to listen to his voice out of fear of what bodily responses that would cause in you. Your existing attraction to Obi-Wan would only be increased by the influence of the plant. And you were scared what you'd do, or what you'd suggest, to ease the feelings.

You started marching in the direction the two of you had come from, jumping away from Obi-Wan as he fell into step beside you and his shoulder brushed yours.

"Keep- keep your distance for a while." You muttered, pushing away the lick of heat that had shot through you at his proximity.

He frowned back at you, feeling bad for making you so clearly uncomfortable. "My apologies."

"It's okay. I'm just-" You cut yourself off with a groan.

Obi-Wan's stomach lurched at the sound. "You're just what?"

"The flower is making it difficult to be next to you." You turned your head away from him, desperately trying to breathe in the clean forest air and nothing else. But all you could smell was him. The scent was so strong that you could practically taste him, his skin, and it was making your mouth water.

"You're already feeling the effects of the flower?" He hummed, pondering. "I feel nothing so far."

It wasn't true. But he was completely unaware of what he was feeling. He put the dry mouth and headache down to minor exhaustion, the hike through the forest finally catching up with him. And the stirring he was feeling... down below was foreign. The Jedi secretly believed that maybe he was immune to the flower's influence.

He was severely wrong.

You glanced back at him, instantly looking away when you caught his wide-eyed gaze. His eyes were so blue, so familiar.

You marched ahead of him, ignoring his quiet protests as you urgently sought out the cave. It came into sights quickly and your pace picked up, practically running towards it now. When you reached it, you discarded your top layer of robes, the heat your body was producing making it feel as if you were melting, and left your lightsaber by the entrance to the stone shelter. You feared what you may do with it when the flower's effects got even worse.

Obi-Wan followed closely behind you and watched with curious attention at your actions, slightly puzzled when you made your way towards the back of the cave and sat down facing the wall.

"Sit over there." You pointed over your shoulder to a spot far away from yourself. "I need to think."

"Trying to remember an antidote?" He asked, wondering what there possibly was to think about right now. And without his help as well.

"Sure." You sighed, closing your eyes as you took a deep breath. You weren't thinking about an antidote since you knew there wasn't one. You were considering your options. Even though you knew they were limited. Very limited.

He trusted your word however, which was mildly foolish of him, and took a seat where you'd instructed him to do so. He kept his gaze on you, fixated on the back of your head, as he observed your breathing pick up and then slow back down several times of the course of a few minutes.

What Obi-Wan failed to notice was how his breathing was in tune with yours, increasing when yours did and lowering when yours did.

It didn't escape him though when the flower's influence started to manipulate his body even more. The dry mouth, dull headache, rapid heartbeat, and hardened dick were becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. And Obi-Wan couldn't stay in denial for much longer.

So he called out your name.

Big mistake.

You jumped at the sound, having to bite your tongue to prevent noise slipping from your lips, and glanced at him over your shoulder."Yes?"

"I believe the flower is finally setting in." He decided that was the best way to put it and not that the sight of you was making him think things he hadn't even considered since he was a lot younger.

You looked at him silently for a second too long, eyes flicking downwards before moving back up to meet his again. "Meaning?"

His brows creased for a moment. "You know."

You did. So you turned back towards the wall and stared at it. "I'm thinking really hard about it, okay? I'll work something out."

Lies.

Time progressed slowly, moving at a sluggish pace that had you wanting to claw your way out of the cave in temporary insanity, and you could hear Obi-Wan's condition growing steadily worse by the minute.

You were finding it a lot easier than him to control yourself, probably due to your more extensive knowledge on the subject of simple carnal pleasure. But Obi-Wan was losing it.

You kept your eyes focused on the stone in front of you, desperately trying to ignore the sounds that Obi-Wan was making behind you. The breathless whimpers that were leaving his mouth were heavenly to your ears, creating a pulse that shook through your body regularly. Despite the sounds making you feel good, it was getting harder and harder to stop yourself from giving in and crawling over to him. Especially since you could hear him tearing off at least one layer of his clothing.

"Obi-Wan, please be quiet." You whispered, just loud enough for him to hear.

To the Jedi your voice sounded husky, tempting almost. "I cannot help it. Please help me."

His voice was desperate, almost whiny, as he begged you for some sort of assistance. If only he knew what that assistance was.

You squeezed your eyes closed, resting your face in your hands. "I'm trying."

It was a lie. You knew that nothing could be done. The passage from the book you'd read about the flower had been very clear. Death was inevitable. Unless you engaged with someone... intimately.

It was the only method that would get your bodily reactions to calm down. If not, the next few days would be painful for the both of you. You'd be extremely aroused the whole time, heart racing at a million beats per minute, sweat would pour out of you and cause severe dehydration that would be impossible to remedy, and finally your body would give up from the sheer exhaustion of trying to handle it all. Then, you'd drop dead.

Just how exactly were you supposed to voice that to Obi-Wan, the man who'd boasted about his ability to follow the Order's rules for years, that the only way for the both of you to survive this was to sleep together? And how were you supposed to recover from possibly finally having the man you'd wanted for so long for just one night and then never again?

"I can sense that you're keeping something from me."

Your head snapped up at his statement. He was correct, sure, but you hadn't expected him to pick up on it in his state.

So you turned around to look at him, legs crossed in front of you and back against the wall to keep yourself as far from him as possible.

"There is one solution that I know of." You confessed, still thinking of a way to tell him.

"Just tell me. I know it's troubling you. It's okay." Obi-Wan's tone was soft and comforting.

You took a deep breath in. "You won't like it."

"Do we have a choice?"

You let the breath out again. "Death."

He released a tired and humourless chuckle. "I can assure you that I'll prefer whatever solution you have to death. So tell me."

You debated what words would spook the Jedi less. Were you clinical and informative? Or soft and subtle? The sweat dripping from his temple, begging to be licked away by the tip of your tongue, was telling you to be harsh and raw with him.

Your gaze fixed on his mouth. "We have to have sex, Obi-Wan. Multiple times probably." The last part was added on for emphasis, meant to draw a reaction out of him.

He gave it to you. His already flushed cheeks reddened some more, eyes darting away from yours momentarily. It's not that the antidote was unexpected, he figured that it would lead somewhere like this considering the two of you had been contaminated by an aphrodisiac, but he thought maybe that there would be another solution. Or that you'd at least beat around the bush a little more.

Obi-Wan didn't know how to tell you that he'd never done something like that before so wouldn't even know where to start.

Little did he know that you were already well aware of that fact.

"I'll guide you through it." You paused. "But once we get started I don't think you'll need much guidance. The effects of the pollen will probably lead you."

His eyes snapped back to you, a frown pinching between them. "And what do you know of it?"

"Obi-Wan..." You mumbled, tilting your head down slightly to give him a meaningful look.

He didn't look thrilled at the notion.

You scoffed, annoyance bubbling at his obvious judgement. "We all have a past."

He knew what you meant. Sure, everyone had a past. He just didn't realise you had that sort of past. Still, he realised he had no place to pass judgement against you.

Heat pulsed between your thighs at the sudden wide-eyed apologetic look he was giving you. A groan rumbled in your chest and you squeezed your eyes shut.

"I see that this is hard for you." He whispered and you attempted to hold back a laugh thinking that this probably wasn't the only thing that was hard. "So, how about you come over here and... show me what we have to do."

You looked back at him, surprised by the boldness he was showing. Yes, he wasn't a shy man by any means but you thought he'd have been a bit less confident in this situation. Or maybe the whole thing would just be so meaningless to him that he thought it'd be easy.

Obi-Wan could feel random muscles in his body clenching as you stared at him. He'd never felt like this before. He'd always known that you were beautiful, it was impossible to ignore, but he'd never thought much else of it. But now? He couldn't do anything else apart from think about it.

You slowly pushed yourself up from your seated position and fell onto your hands and knees, too tense to stand up, and made your way towards him steadily. He was surprised to find himself practically buzzing at the sight of you crawling towards him, a ravenous look on your face. You stopped about a foot in front of him, looking up into his eyes through your eyelashes.

A hand reached out for you.

You took it.

With his help, you settled yourself over Obi-Wan's lap, a leg either side of his thighs so you straddled him. You didn't let your weight rest on him just yet, wanting to check in quickly to make sure he was okay. It was taking everything in your power not to start touching him all over despite your overactive brain basically screaming at you to do so.

His eyes moved rapidly, taking you in as he searched across your body. A hand landed on either of your hips, encouraging you to move closer to him. So you did, chest pushing slightly against his and weight pressing into his lap as you sat down. The both of you let out a sigh at the contact, pain eased for just a few moments.

It was then that you noticed you'd sat on something extremely hard.

"Is that a lightsaber in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" You chuckled, about to reach down to remove the weapon from the inside of his robes.

But Obi-Wan's eyes flickered over your shoulder to somewhere behind you. Slowly, you turned to see what he was looking out, a small pinch between your eyebrows, and saw where you'd discarded your own lightsaber earlier. What you were surprised to find was his lightsaber resting up against a rock beside yours.

"Oh." You croaked and looked back at him, eyes shooting to his crotch for a brief moment. "You are just happy to see me."

"The flower." He grumbled lowly.

Your heart fell momentarily, your face along with it, before you recovered and looked downwards towards his chest. "Right, of course."

Realising he'd made a fatal mistake, Obi-Wan placed a finger under your chin and tilted your head up to make eye contact again. "A combined effect of the flower and... you."

Your mouth dropped open for a second, dazed by his statement, before a smile blossomed along your face. "There was one thing I forgot to mention."

"And what was that?" His eyes were fixed on your mouth now.

"The flower's effects are stronger and fast acting if you are already attracted to the person you're with at the time of exposure." You leaned towards him closer, the tips of your noses brushing against each other. "I expected to feel the influence at least an hour or two before you did, Master."

A soft sound, somewhere between a moan and a whine, escaped his lips at the use of the title. It surprised you, you hadn't thought he'd be into that kind of thing. You didn't give him a chance to give you a real response though, the noise he'd just made finally pushing you over the edge.

You cupped his face in your hands and kissed him, thumbs swiping over his cheeks to wipe the purple pollen away. He let out another sound at that, this one more shocked, but equally as unrestrained. Your mouth opened just in time to catch it and swallow it against your own moan at finally feeling his lips melding with yours.

Usually, in the past, you’d have some sense of patience in this situation. But it’s like the feeling of his skin under your palms and his lips against yours, your tongue in his mouth, sent the pollen vibrating in your bloodstream. And before you knew it, your hands were tearing at his clothes, absolutely desperate to get them off.

And while Obi-Wan was a little more hesitant than you, inexperience slowing him down, once he felt how eager you were he could only join in on the action. His hands were soft, almost silky, like they hadn’t ever seen a day of hard labour in his life, and they sent warm bursts of electricity through you as they slid against your skin.

All barriers between you were removed in less than a minute, although time seemed to be flying now that you’d actually gotten beyond just staring at each other and ignoring all feelings your body had been screaming at you to address.

“Do you know what comes next, Master?” You questioned, wondering how out of practice he really was.

Obi-Wan seemed to pause, taking a long thought, before saying anything. “I’ve never done this before.”

“I know.” You said and he seemed both embarrassed and surprised. “That’s not what I was asking. Do you know what happens?”

“I’ve heard things.” He admitted slowly.

Up until this point you’d been trying to avoid looking down at his naked body. Sure, the two of you had been pretty enthusiastic in taking the other’s clothes off but neither of you had verbally stated what you were comfortable with actually doing. That didn’t mean you couldn’t feel every inch of him pressing against you though. Somehow in the tumble of robe removal, you’d slid forward on his lap which had caused your torsos to connect. And you hadn’t bothered to move back again.

You searched his face for any sign of discomfort, finding none. “Can I touch you?”

He sputtered. “You already are.”

“No-“ You took a deep breath. “Can I touch you… down there?”

You were hesitant to say certain words to him, cringing at just the thought of them coming out of your mouth and entering his ears. You shouldn’t be shy about this, having done this countless times before. But now you were doing it with Obi-Wan, someone you admired with the deepest affection, it felt different. A good different but different nonetheless.

“Oh.” The flush he’d been sporting across his face stretched to meet the tip of his ears and you reached up to tuck some hair back away from them. “Yes, you can.”

You could see that the lust the flower caused had taken over all rational thought as his irises, usually so blue and bright, had been consumed by his pupils dilating. Was this a good idea, you silently wondered? Did he truly want this? Or was the flos venerem speaking for him?

Before you had the chance to ponder over that even more, the animal instincts in your brain took over and your hand was wrapping around his, pretty sizeable, cock.

He hissed at the sensation of your warm palm touching him and you observed his reaction with hungry curiosity. You liked the way his eyes fluttered closed and his teeth sunk into his bottom lip, the way his head snapped back against the cave wall and he didn’t even seem to notice that it should’ve hurt. He was too absorbed in the pleasurable way that you were touching him.

You were touching him.

Obi-Wan felt as if he were flying amongst the stars.

Your hand slid up and down his length, taking in every minor reaction he gave you to see what he liked. The answer was: he liked all of it. No matter the pace of your strokes, the pressure of your squeeze, or the angle of the twist, Obi-Wan revelled in it all.

Every sound he made caused what felt like a flood to pour from between your thighs, skin prickling with flames of desire. You increased the speed of the pumps against his shaft, feeling him twitch in your hand. Obi-Wan started babbling to himself, something you couldn’t quite understand but realised were certainly happy mumblings. It didn’t take much more until he was orgasming, cum spurting out of him in hot ropes and coating both of your stomachs.

You weren’t surprised to see that he remained hard. At least the botany books hadn’t lied to you about the multiple times thing.

“Need you inside me now, Obi-Wan.” You whispered, pleased when his eyes seemed to spark with something akin to excitement. Pushing yourself up slightly, you took him in your hand again and aligned him with your entrance. Notching him against you, you inched down onto him slowly, feeling your hips stutter willing you to go faster, and watched his face scrunch up in pleasure.

“Does that feel good?” You asked despite knowing the answer. You just wanted to hear him say something, even a noise of approval would work for you.

He nodded rapidly and whined. “Yes, yes.”

Pleasure rocketed up your spine, walls clenching around him and he whimpered again. His hips bucked up underneath you and your eyes rolled back in your head.

He did it again.

You came.

A shocked laugh escaped your throat as the orgasm rippled through. You hadn’t realised it would be that easy but given that you’d denied yourself any friction and stimulation for way too long considering the situation you were in, it only made sense.

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened. “Did you just-?”

“Yes.” You sighed and rocked your hips against his, thighs still trembling with the aftershock.

“Stars-“ He gasped, head falling forward to bury his face in your neck. You smiled at the feeling of his beard scratching against your skin and moved faster.

Time became a haze, multiple orgasms rolled into a blur, and before you know it you felt like you couldn’t move anymore. Your legs ached, your body dripped with sweat and your breathing was shaky and uneven.

But you were determined for one more.

Obi-Wan gasped about it being too much but couldn’t stop himself from continuing to thrust up underneath you. Which you were thankful for considering you could feel your thighs cramping up and barely managing to support your weight. His arms locked around you, trapping you against him, as he pounded into you urgently like he was chasing something. He was really. And you could understand.

“Come on, Master, just one more.” You murmured against his temple.

It took only those words of encouragement for Obi-Wan to spill inside you once again, the feeling of that setting you off as well. And finally the two of you relaxed, the pollen’s effects wearing away.

The two of you sat against each other breathless for a moment before you eased up off of him and settled beside him. He immediately collapsed against you, sliding down until his head met your lap. You placed a hand in his hair as his breathing slowed down to a normal pace.

Now that the high had passed, guilt was setting in.

“What have I done?” Obi-Wan croaked, burying his face against your thighs.

You froze, knowing you should be feeling this same shame but not finding it in yourself to care. At least not right now. “It’s okay.”

“No!” He almost wailed. “I broke- I broke rules. Sacred Jedi code.”

“You had no choice. It was either that or death.” Tears stung at the backs of your eyeballs, willing yourself not to crack and break down. He needed you to be strong. “There was no other way.”

He knew you were right, a small seed of relief buried deep in his chest. He didn’t have another choice. But then there was another matter…

You continued to try to make him feel better. "The council will forgive you, Obi-Wan. It couldn't have been helped."

The Jedi could only nod in reply. That wasn't what worried him anymore, your logical argument had been enough to reassure him of that. What did worry him is how much he wanted it to happen again.

He glanced up at you. "What about you? Can you forgive me?"

You paused, hand stilling against the side of his head. "There's nothing to be forgiven."

"Please." He whispered against your skin. "Please just-"

It hurt you to hear the break in his voice. A man, usually so confident, reduced to this. All because of something out of his control.

You took a deep breath, stared straight ahead at the cave wall opposite you, tears in your eyes and a hand combing through his hair. "I forgive you, Obi-Wan."

A/N: I listened to Star Wars ambience on YouTube as I wrote most of this. Hope you enjoyed!

[murdockussy]

Could you do an enemies to lovers one shot where obi has been in love with the reader for a while but she doesn’t know it?

And I wouldn’t mind some spice please hehe

AHHHH this request is perfect!! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write this one up, but I hope you enjoy reading it!!

(I am open to taking any requests, head to my masterlist to read more about it :))

Room 24

Angsty, smutty lil Obi Wan Kenobi x Reader enemies to lovers one shot where he fell for the reader first!

Warnings: a little arguing here and there, but we love a jealous Kenobi moment

Words: 8,900ish

If you could gather every emotion you felt towards Obi Wan Kenobi, you were almost certain you’d be left with a burning heap of seething hot hatred – almost. 

Ever since your first interaction all those years ago, you - young and naïve, heart hammering in your chest as were introduced to your peers inside the Jedi Temple for the first time, and him – a lean short haired boy with platted stand of hair falling down his neck, disapproving stare watching your ever move as you were welcomed into the group of young Jedi’s– you knew that Obi Wan Kenobi was going to be anything but your friend. 

The more time you spent around him, the more you were able to register his arrogance. How he always stuck to his allegiance, leaving little room for mistakes. Before you, he was always top of the class, earning the position of one of the most skilled and wise Jedi’s for his age, but all that changed the day you arrived on Coruscant.  

Although you were slightly younger than your peers and were considerably inexperienced, you refused to let that stop you, you using your gifted skills to quickly climb to the top, soaring above those who’d been in the same field as you for far longer than you have.  

And that angered Obi Wan to no extent. The same Council members who once showered him with endless praise, bringing him alongside missions that were far out of the league of his peers, were now giving you – someone who just less than a year prior had no knowledge of what a Jedi even was – the same treatment. 

He couldn’t understand how you did it, and for that his hatred towards you grew. Sure, you were skilled, you could yield a lightsaber well, your aim with blasters was precise, and your bond with the force was as strong as his, but how you were able to achieve his level of expertise in the time you’d been there left him baffled.  

As the years passed, you grew to know each other quite well – you know what they say, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. You’d keep a close eye on him during missions, watching the muscles on his arms flex as he’d wave the glowing saber in defense, face stern and focused, and in return, he’d do the same, studying the patterns of your fighting style, the way your chest heaved as the loose strands of hair would cascade onto your face with each spin and duck.  

You both unraveled each other's perks and quirks and seen one another in the best and worst of times, yet no matter how well one of you knew the other, the hatred was always there, evident and unwavering, you both making it known to each other that hate was the only emotion you held for one another – nothing else. 

And it always remained that way... that was until Obi Wan came to the realisation that maybe his feelings were a masquerade for something much deeper 

On a night when the moons shone brightly above the Jedi Temple when half of the Council returned from an off-planet meeting, Obi Wans Padawan Anakin was solemnly waiting for his Master's return in their shared apartment when a sudden uproar caught his attention. He traced the shouting to the entrance of the room, opening the door of their living quarters to find his Master and yourself standing opposite one another, an angered expression mirrored on both of your faces. 

“... If you hadn’t been so selfish, I could’ve taken him out with ease” you shouted, one hand resting on your hip while the other poked at Kenobi’s chest. 

“With ease? I’m starting to believe your delusions have reached new heights, because from my memory, they had you tied up to a post, wi-” 

“But I got out! Freed myself! Something you would’ve seen if you weren’t so preoccupied trying to be the hero – again!” 

“There’s a difference between trying to be a hero, and actually being one, something you wouldn’t kno-” 

As amused as he was, Anakin stepped out of the doorway, yourself and Obi Wan falling silent once the Padawan made his presence known. Greeting yourself and his Master, he leant against the wall beside you both with a playful grin. 

“If you wish to continue, I'd suggest taking this indoors. People do want to get some sleep at night, believe it or not” 

Just as Obi Wan began to scold his Padawan, you interrupted, your feet dragging you backwards slowly as you spoke, “No need. It’s pointless trying to get through to him anyway. Goodnight, Anakin” 

Pushing past the young boy beside him, Obi Wan walked through the entrance of his home, his blood boiling as he stormed towards the loungeroom, seating himself on the couch as his head fell into the palms of his hands. 

Anakin wasn’t far behind, him resting on the arm of the opposite couch from the one Obi Wan was seated on, the amusement evident in his voice as he broke the silence. 

“Well... that was interesting” 

“Not now Anakin!” 

“Hey, I haven’t done anything wrong, Master. If anything, you should be thanking me. It really was quite the disturbance you both were causing out the-” 

“I said not now! I’ve had enough of this for tonight” 

“She really knows how to get under your skin, doesn’t she? I’m starting to think she’s worse than me” 

“Anakin” Obi Wan warned, his head lifting from his hands to stare at the boy before him. 

“You’re always together. Always arguing. And you both get so riled up with one another. It’s as if you’re... like you’re couple that’s been in a marriage for all your life” 

“I’m being quite serious Anakin, if you don-” 

“It seems as if you're so disapproving you are of her. Which is strange because she’s good at what she does. She’s a great Jedi. Maybe you’re just jealous of her-” 

“Anakin, that’s en-” 

“Or maybe you’re in love with her, that could be it too” Anakin joked, a snort of laughter escaping his lungs. 

Without saying another word, Obi Wan rose from his seat, brushing past the boy who had broken out in a fit of laughter, breathy apologies falling from his lips as he watched his Master disappear into his bedroom, where he wouldn’t appear from until the next morning. 

Yet that night, Obi Wan barely got a wink of sleep, his heart hammering endlessly in his chest as Anakin's words combined with ghostly images of you swirled around his thoughts, the realisation of the truth within Anakin's lighthearted words haunting him till the sun rose the next day.  

All this time Obi Wan was wrong. His deep-rooted obsession with you, his need to watch you whenever you’re within his vision, his desire to hear the rise of your voice when he pushes your buttons - he buttons only he knew how to push – wasn’t from a place of hatred. No, it was from a place of love. All this time he’d loved someone he swore to be his own personal enemy. 

Yet, he refused to cave into his emotions. Keeping the guarded front of hatred up whenever you were near.  

He repeatedly told himself it was because loving someone was against the Jedi code. That if he followed the true desires of his heart, everything he worked so hard for would be torn from him instantly. He’d have no purpose, no guidance, no home. And for that, resenting you somehow became easier, because he wouldn’t allow you to take that all away from him. But deep down, in a place he struggled to keep hidden, he was terrified of your true emotions, that if you were to reveal his true desire for you, you’d reject him, using his one weakness – his emotions for you - against him.  

And for that, he kept up the false front, his behavior towards you unwavering, because hating you was far easier than loving you.  

However, sometimes he didn’t have to continuously remind himself of that fact, Anakin's suggestion of you getting under his skin an obvious truth as he lost sight of you, his vision darting in each direction as he spun himself in a full 360 in the middle of the busy pathway. 

Obi Wan and yourself were currently paired together on an assignment, one that could've been easily palmed off to Kenobi and his Padawan if it wasn’t for the younger boy being in recovery after having himself injured on their last mission. 

The goal for the assignment was simple. There had been rumors floating around the temple of an underground club storing illegal weapons, which itself wouldn’t be an issue because as far as you were aware, half the clubs on Coruscant held their own illegal weapons, but once word spread that a group of bounty hunters were seeking to purchase the weapons, the Council decided to step in, hence yourself and Obi Wan being sent on the mission.  

And it seemed simple. Disguise yourself as anything other than a pair of Jedi, go into the club, seek out the location of the stored weaponry, alert the Counsil of its whereabouts, and leave. Easy. The entire assignment could be finished in under an hour. Yet the moment you dressed yourself in the disguised outfit, you slipping into the thin fabric of the floor length black dress, you decided you wanted to make the most of the night out, allowing yourself to have a bit more fun than the Council would’ve intended you on having. 

Obi Wan spun himself to the brink of dizziness when he finally paused, his eyes landing on your open back dress facing away from him as you stood at the entrance of a stall, you passing the man a handful of credits in exchange for the wide scarf. 

Groaning in annoyance, Obi Wan weaved his way through the crowded night market, him overhearing your thanks to the shop keep as he finally reached you, you turning to face him right as he approached you. 

“A scarf?” he questioned, his eyes lingering on your face as he took in your amused expression. 

“I needed it” you replied, pushing past his tense frame as you began walking into the crowd once more. He watched as you slid the fabric across your arms, the width of it draping down your spine covering majority of your back, leaving a small slither of your skin exposed at the base of your dress, his eyes locked onto your flesh as you wandered off before it clicked that you were wandering off, him quickly jogging to catch up with you. 

“You know” he huffed, “we do have an assignment to complete” 

“And tell me, do we have a specific time frame required to complete this mission?” 

“...No, however it wou-” 

“No time frame means no need to rush” you said with raised eyebrows as you turned to look at Obi Wan, his eyes squinting as he faced forwards. 

“I think it would be rather beneficial to get this over and done with” 

“Why? Have you got somewhere better to be, Kenobi?” 

“Well, no. But I'd pref-” 

“Then we can take as long as we need. Besides, how often is it that we get to leisure like this out of the Temple? Well, I can only speak on my own behalf. I don’t care for whatever slacking off you do in your free time” 

“I do not ‘slack off’. Unlike some people, I take my role seriously” 

“If I didn’t take my role seriously, they wouldn’t have chosen me to be on this assignment, would’ve they?” 

“Only because Anakin's not here” Obi Wan mumbled under his breath just loud enough for you to hear, causing an angry warmth beneath your skin to flare up, your face snapping to meet the man beside yours once more. 

“And why isn’t your Padawan here? Maybe if his Master knew know how to provide adequate guidance, he wouldn’t have to resort to the medical bay once a week!” 

Obi Wan ignored your verbal jab, his eyes glancing at the rows of stalls as you both continued through the market, triumph slowly building inside you at his lack of a comeback until he redirected his walk to cut directly in front of you, his words a whisper as he passed your frame. 

“Say’s the Jedi without their own Padawan” 

“Hey!” you called, his feet quickening due to the clearing of the crowds as he headed towards the markets exit. Fastening your own pace, you caught up with him, prepared to argue back to his statement before he hushed you, his movements coming to a halt. 

“That's our destination. Master Yoda believes the weapons are stored on-” 

“The first or second floor beneath the club. I know. Might I remind you, I'm also on the Council” you stated, your shoulder bumping his as you passed him and began to draw closer to the entrance of the building when you felt a firm grasp around your wrist, stopping you from any further movements. 

“Don’t you... Wouldn’t it be best to think of a plan before walking in there?” 

“We already have a plan” You sighed in annoyance, you now facing him while his fingers remained wrapped around your skin. 

“But what if were questioned?” 

“We won’t be” 

“We need to be on the same page if they questio-” 

“We won’t be” 

“If we get caught, and you begin some-” 

“Kenobi! I’m telling you we will not be caught! Can you just trust me for once?!” 

His eyes widened in shock, his raised eyebrows furrowing after a moment's silence, a burst of air leaving his nostrils as he did a firm nod, his hand falling from yours as he crossed his arms across his chest. 

 “Fine... But if a single thing goes south-” he started, you huffing as you turned your back to him and marched towards the entrance of the club, Obi Wan following you behind as you neared the tinted glass doors reflecting the neon flashing signs of the streets above. 

Approaching the entrance, the two doors slide open, revealing the dim lights and bassy instrumental echoing within the club. You scanned the room as you entered it, your nose scrunching at the faded colored curtains draping across each wall and the clouds of thin smoke wafting across the roof, your eyes falling on the grim looking creature perched behind the reception desk.  

You slowed your pace until Obi Wan was standing beside you when you suddenly slid your arm beneath his, your arms interlocked drawing you closer to one another as you inched towards the reception desk. You could feel his confused gaze burning into the side of your face, but you ignored it, your face remaining emotionless as you approached the creature at the desk. 

“Reservation for 4-16" you spoke clearly, Obi Wans eyes now bouncing between yours and the creatures. 

“Name?” the being mumbled, his hands gliding across the vibrant hologram raised on the surface of the desk. 

“Waters” you replied, your voice stern as you watched his fingers dance across the glitchy lights, him tapping a few times before humming in approval, his bulging eyes returning to yours as he spoke. 

“You’re cleared. Pleasure to have you back, Miss Waters” 

Without looking back, you directed Obi Wan into the club, the two of you heading towards the row of ceiling high booth without saying a word. Unlinking your arm from his, you shimmied yourself into the booth, Obi Wan following behind you, seating himself a foot away from you. 

“Care to explain?” 

“I told you to trust me” you said unphased as you flattered out the fabric across your stomach. 

“Who is Miss Waters?” he pushed, him continuing to glare at you, you picking up on the sense that he wouldn't drop this topic without answers. 

“A fake name, clearly” you answered shortly, your eyes looking anywhere besides the man next to you who was growing more agitated by the minute, you jumping in your seat at the sudden sensation of his hand on your knee. 

“This is a shared mission! I’m required to know what you’re doing, so if need be, I can be in on whatever this is as well” 

Your head snapped to face him, your voice low yet firm as you quickly replied. 

“For the last time, I told you to trust me! And if you don’t, there’s no use for you being here. You know where the door is, or do you need help finding it?” 

Before he had the chance to reply, both of your heads turned to face the slim figure that was approaching your booth with a friendly smile, you forcing your cheeks to rise as you mirrored their joyous emotion. 

“Miss Waters, it’s been quite some time! How has life been treating you?” 

“Same old, you know how it is. And you?” 

“Busy. But it’s good to see a familiar face” he said, bending slightly to place a tray of assorted fruits and four glasses of a smokey green liquid on the table. 

“Oh... Grolo, this really isn’t necessary for tonight” 

“Nonsense, it’s on the house” Grolo replied before stepping backwards, his hands crossing as he nodded while speaking, “Room 24 is prepared to your liking for when you’re ready. You two enjoy your evening” 

You waited until Grolo disappeared from your eyesight before you raised your palms to your face, your heart beginning to beat slightly quicker from the conversation, you truly wanting to remain unexposed from the man beside you. 

“So... Familiar face, huh?” 

“Kenobi” you warned, you shielding your eyes from the world around you with your palms, Obi Wans own palm still resting on your knee. 

“And what’s this ‘room 24’?” 

“None of your business, that’s what it is” 

“But it will be... once the Council is notified about the cheat that is lying under their noses” 

Your breath caught in your throat at his words, a sudden anger sparking inside you as you dropped your hands, your body shifting to face the man beside you. 

“If you even think about speaking a word of this to them, I'll shatter each glass on this table and force it down your throat!” 

Leaning back against the fabric of the booth, he brought one hand to his beard, scaping it slowly as he watched you, while the other slid an inch up your skin, unwavering from its position as he pushed, “Then confess whatever it is that you’re hiding about this place, what you’re hiding about yourself” 

You wanted to call him out on his bluff, wanted to believe that he wouldn’t speak a word of what he’s already witnessed to the Council – wanted to trust him – yet you knew you couldn’t, you fully aware of his devotion to his job. So you leaned forward, grabbing two of the four drinks in front of you and bringing them to your lips, you shotting one after another like the liquid had no burning aftertaste, you in desperate need of any confidence boost for what you’re about to tell the man you resented the most. 

“Fuck. Fine. This...” you started, pausing momentarily with hesitation, Obi Wans eyes lingering on your face as you sighed, “This all began quite some time ago now.”, 

“Master Yoda caught word of a potential bounty passing though this area of Coruscant every few nights. He knew it was too risky himself to check the area out, so he sent me”, 

“His intentions were to get any information on the man. If the potential bounty belonged to a gang, if he had a following, who he was involved with. I came here, unsure if the bounty would even step foot in this place, with no indication on how to secure the information Yoda wanted” 

“And the mission was successful?” Kenobi asked, his hand still raking through the hairs on his chin. 

You nodded, swallowing the nerves building inside your tightening throat from what you were confessing for the first time. 

“Call it intuition, or even the Force, but he ended up coming here. I sparked a conversation, and he fell right into my trap. I knew it was too risky to use any of my... Force abilities. So I tried something else, and it worked after some time. He told me what I needed to know, and I reported it all-” 

“What was it?” 

“What was what?” 

“Your method. Possibly spiking of his drink? I wouldn’t put that past you-” 

“Seduction, actually” you spat, your features lifting with your matter-of-fact tone while his jumped in shock, a small cough escaping his mouth as he suddenly leaned forward, the hand that was resting on your leg now shooting across the table to grab ahold of one of the remaining drinks. 

“Seeing how successful it was” you continued, a half smiling tugging at your lips from the surprise your statement caused, “I decided to come back and try it again on a different occasion. And that’s how it started. The more I came here, the more potential threats would walk through those doors – Grolo’s bar being sort of a... hot spot, I guess, for people who want to remain unseen. I’d buy each one a drink here and there, enough for them to lose track of what they’re saying, sweet talk them the way a man like them would want to be spoken to, and suddenly the information I'd want would pour out of them. Easily” 

“But why do it if it wasn’t necessary?” 

“Because it kept me one step ahead. I attained information no other Council member had. Their confessions helped me out on multiple missions. I know who's connected to who, and who to avoid, where these people stay, what threats they pose. Besides, you and I both know how slowly the Council can move at times. I’ve just pushed myself to have a head start” 

“So you’d... seduce these... men into giving you information, out of your own will?” 

“Yes, Kenobi. I did” you said, your eyes switching from his face to the single drink remaining, you leaning forwards to grab it, your pulse jumping as you pretending to ignore the way Obi Wans eyes watched your moving frame, “But nothing I've done is against the Jedi code, nor is it a crime” 

“Not yet. You’re yet to inform me about this ‘room 24’” 

You remained silent as you rested back into the seat, you bringing the drink to your lips as your eyes lingered on Obi Wans, your stomach beginning to churn at the thought of you sharing your deepest secret to the man you’d wish to keep your secret from most. 

“Or you can tell the rest of the Council themselves, I'm sure they’d love to know” he said, his tone flat as he slowly began shuffling himself out of the booth, you immediately snapping your hand to wrap around his forearm stopping him in his tracks. 

“Don’t! Just... Believe me, Obi Wan, it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be” 

“And why should I have faith in your words? You can’t even tell me what is that you’re hiding, how can I trust that!” 

“Okay... Just sit, please” 

With a small huff, he returned to his previous position, spinning himself around to face the bar behind him, arm waving towards the empty tray on the table before adjusting himself to face you once more, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he did so. 

“If you’re going to make me stay, I might as well make it worth my while” he said coolly as one of the bartenders approached the booth with a full tray of drinks, swiftly placing it on the table, replacing the now empty one. He reached forward, his body barely lifting from the back of the seat as he grabbed the glass, his eyes looking deeply into yours as he took a sip causing the pits of your stomach to ignite with warmth. “Now finish the story, or I'm leaving. Don’t make me regret this decision” he said, following with your name at the end of the sentence. 

You wanted to push him, tease him about how precious the Council was to him, but you bit your tongue as you drowned the rest of your drink fully knowing there was no way out of the hole you unwillingly dug yourself in.  

Here goes nothing. 

“I was here every few weeks, doing the same routine. But... one night, things sort of changed. This scoundrel from Coruscant's south, no matter how hard I pushed, he gave no information on what I wanted to know. At first, I was in control, but the more we consumed, the more I... drifted from my purpose. Things started to take a turn, and... well, one thing led to another, and we... you know. I didn’t end up getting the information I wanted out of him, so when I came back, I tried again with someone who had connections to the scoundrel, but I was met with the same fate. After that, my purpose for coming to this side of town had a... different meaning” 

As the words left your lips, Obi Wans entire demeaner shifted, his relaxed composure becoming stiff, his jaw locked with tension as his eyes glared at you, a pit of rage boiling within him at your confession. Yet he kept himself together, trying to attain his burning jealousy as you continued your story. 

“Grolo, whenever I'd return, he’d allow me to stay in a room here with these... people. Room 24. He had trust in me, because I'd brought in good revenue for him with all my previous assignments, and he refused each man from leaving the next morning without covering the bill for the night's stay. We build sort of an understanding, a bond – myself and Grolo. I supplied him with customers, he supplied me with a free room” 

Concluding your confession, you released the deep breath you didn’t know you were holding back, you shotting the remainder of your drink before speaking once more, “That's all it is, Obi Wan. I’m not a criminal, or a cheat to the Council, so you can drop the need you so desperately have to inform the Council of any of this” 

You both sat in a momentary silence, your heart hammering in your chest as you waited for any sort of response from Kenobi, his silence out of character. Yet your pulse was met with a match, Obi Wan feeling as though his own heart was bound to leap out of his chest any moment due to the spiraling anger within him. Images began to play in his mind of the story you shared, flashes of your naked frame entangled with another - someone who wasn’t him - blinding his vision entirely, him taking no note of the rattling glass in his hand until the soft call of his named tore him from his thoughts. 

“... Obi Wan?” you mumbled, your hand reaching out towards him, your fingers barely grazing his skin before he pulled back, his voice a sharp slice as he spat his words. 

“You’re unbelievable!” 

“I’m sorry?” you questioned, your already hammering heart going into overdrive from his outburst. 

“Are you in some state of delusion? You’d be foolish to believe any of this is okay” 

"What are you... I told you I've done noth-” 

“There's something in this lifestyle you’re hiding amongst that you truly desire. These relations, you want them more than you’re allowing yourself to believe. You’ve gone against me-… Against the Jedi Code. I thought you were smarter than this, but clearly, I was wrong about you” 

Absorbing his belittlement, your shock was quickly switched to anger, you hurt that he was speaking to you this way after you opened to him for the first time about something nobody else knew, something that you would’ve never had spoken on if it wasn’t for his threats in the first place. 

“Don’t try and act as though you’re innocent, Obi Wan, like you’ve never had some fun before. We all remember whatever it was that happened between yourself and Dutchess Satine!” The Dutchess’s name on your tongue left a sour after taste, a quick flash of memories passing through your mind as you spoke, images of Obi Wan watching the woman fondly, her arm entwined with his and they walked together, the memory so bitter in your mind that it only added fuel to your already wild flame. 

“What you’re doing is incomparable to that. It was a moment of clouded judgement, of weakness. It was a half-whited act, but nowhere near as close to what you’ve been doing” 

“My business is different!” The alcohol you’d consumed began to take full effect, you unaware of just how loud you were both shouting at one another until you noticed the turning of heads surrounding the booth, various eyes falling on yourself and Obi Wan. 

“And how is that?!” 

“You formed an attachment, I didn’t! You got entangled with emotions, I'm only after momentary fulfillment!” 

“You are surely blinded! This is outrag-” 

You weren’t sure what pushed you over the edge – possibly the heat flushed against your cheeks or the tears beginning to well behind your eyes - but you finally got fed up with the ongoing argument, you swiftly rising from the seat, your body swaying slightly as you shuffled yourself towards the exit of the booth.  

Before you had the chance to walk off, you felt a forceful grip suddenly wrap around your wrist, his soft plea for you to stop barely audible as you cut him off immediately, snatching your arm from his as you spat back, “Don’t!” 

Shocked expressions were blurred around you as you stormed off, the effort of not allowing your hot tears to spill over blocking out the calling pleas of your name from behind you. You repeatedly attempted deep breaths as you pushed your way around passing creatures, your shaky hands a direct result of the alcohol and adrenaline cocktail flowing through your bloodstream. 

Muscle memory navigated you through the various hallways leading you towards the back rooms, your fingers dancing along the keypad of the door you knew too well, a small flash of green blinking before the door unlocked, you pushing the steel frame open. Immediately you were welcomed with dim lighting, the smell of vanilla wafting through your nose as you waved your hands towards your face, your palms cuffing your eyes as you exhaled sharply. 

For a few quiet moments, you stayed in that position, the fire inside you putting up a continuous fight towards your attempt of calming yourself, you completely unaware of the presence that had joined you in the room until you heard the thunder of the steel door forcefully closing behind you causing you to rapidly twirl in shock, your hands ripping from your eyes as they connected with the blue eyes glairing back at you. 

You watched each other in silence, the anger within you sparking up at the sight of him, your previous attempts at becoming calmer thrown out the window within seconds. As his eyes scanned your frame, his somewhat stiff stance loosened, his eyes softening as he absorbed your upset state. His mouth opened to speak, but before he had the chance to mutter a single syllable, your words silenced his, the sentences freely falling from your lips. 

“When all this began, for the first time in my life, I felt as if I was lifted from any burden. Weightless from all responsibilities. No rules, no restrictions, no Council or Jedis. Do you know how freeing that felt? To be nothing but a girl having some fun with a stranger at a bar? It was like being able to breathe again for the first time!” 

He listened to each word you spoke, his mouth remaining shut as he stepped towards you, you moving yourself in the opposite direction as he did so. 

“It was harmless fun Kenobi! Believe it or not, I really don’t care, but that’s all it was! And if you’re so opposed by it, go ahead and tell the Council!!” 

“No” he mumbled flatly, his eyes never leaving yours as his head shook, his body moving another step closer to yours. 

“Why not?!” you shouted, the back of your knees finally hitting the edge of the bed as you backed away from his approaching body, “Maybe they’ll believe you, banish me from the temple. You’ll be able to reign free, the great General Kenobi at the peak of his game!” 

“No” he repeated, this time louder as he began to close in on you, a warm puddle forming in the pit of your stomach as you noticed a glimmer of crazy in his eyes that you’d never seen before. 

“Thats what you’ve strived for all these years, isn’t it? The moment I stepped foot in that temple you wanted me out of there! Nows your chance! I know this is what you want to do, so just do it!” 

Within the blink of an eye, his arms extended in front of him, his warm palms landing on your waist as he pulled you towards him, your chest slamming into his, your breath knocked from your lungs at the contact. His head tilted down to meet yours, one arm removing itself from your waist only to place itself on your chin, his fingers pinching your skin as he directed your head to face his. 

“You have no idea what I want!” 

The small blow of his breath drifted across your open lips, the sensation sending a wave of tingles down your spine, a pool of warmth forming between your weekend legs as his angered eyes peered into your own. 

“You think having you removed from the council is what I desire? To not have you within reach, have you out of my eyesight for even a single second? I would rather take a blade to the skull than to have you out of my life, leaving me miserable while you’re out there being fulfilled by some low life stranger who doesn’t even know your real name” 

As the last sentence left his lips, he pulled your body as close as possible, your heart fluttering as you breathily gasped, his following words causing you to almost fall to your knees as he whispered them onto your flushed skin, “They could never do what needs to be done with you. You don’t even know what real fulfillment is” 

Lifting your head, his fingers still attached to your skin, you inched your face towards him, you pausing at the soft touch of his lips brushing yours, your words vibrating the curve of his bottom lip as you whispered, “...Then why don’t you show me?” 

The breath was knocked from your lungs once more as your frame was suddenly pushed backwards, you collapsing onto the mattress with force, Obi Wans body close behind you as he softly landed on top of you. Leaving no time to waste, he spread his knees to rest on the outsides of your thighs, his hands grabbing at your waist once more as he shuffled you towards the top of the mattress, your body effortlessly tossed towards the soft pillows.  

Barely able to settle from his rapid moving of your body, he crawled his way back on top of you, his lips immediately connecting with the base of your jaw causing an audible sigh to clear from your lungs. 

“You have no idea...” he started, each word interrupted by a sloppy kiss as he worked his way down your neck, “how deeply I've wanted... how deeply I've... needed you” 

His confession made your mind swirl, your hands instinctively gripping at his clothing, trembling fingers unbuttoning and tugging the fabric away from his torso as he roughly worked his mouth across your skin. With each suck and nip, your breaths drew deeper which only seemed to encourage him more. 

“For countless years... my every waking moment” he breathed, his hips connecting to meet with yours, you noticing the stiffness between his legs for the first time causing you to groan, “... has been consumed with thoughts of you” 

His upper body now rid of clothes, you suddenly felt extremely warm in your own clothing, your head tossing to the side as you struggled to free your arms from the twisted scarf clinging to them. Noticing your movements, Obi Wan withdrew himself from your neck, his movements twice as fast as he assisted in removing your scarf, him balling the item up and tossing it behind him, you taking the small moment to focus on his lips, the skin dark and plump, the wetness glazed across the his lips giving you the urge to connect your own with his. 

Returning to face you, his eyes caught sight of your gaze, his heart skipping a beat when you made contact with him. Your flushed cheeks and darked pupils almost sent him into a complete frenzy, but the small pull of your soft smile drew him back into reality, him needing to clear any doubts before continuing, his one arm keeping him hovered above you while the other stroked a strand of hair from your cheek. 

“If... if this isn’t what you want, we can st-” 

Unable to wait a moment longer, you snaked your arms around his neck, drawing him into you as you pushed your lips onto his. The moment you made contact, pure euphoria spread itself through each nerve in Obi Wans body, him kissing you back twice as hard as his heart leaped in his chest. Finally, he thought. 

You pulled back slightly, your attempt to speak cut short as Obi Wan eagerly chased your lips, him deepening the kiss the moment his skin met yours, not wanting to spend another second away from your lips.  

You allowed him to take you in, his lips dancing along with yours as his hips began to slowly grind onto you, your soft sigh tumbling into his mouth causing him to kiss you deeper. 

“Obi” you mumbled, him humming in reply, completely engulfed by bliss, his lips never leaving yours.  

“Obi Wan” you repeated, this time louder as you pulled away from him with a small laugh. 

As much as you were enjoying the sensation of his lips on yours, the ever-growing pulse between your legs was growing stronger with every passing moment, and you were on the edge of becoming desperate.  

“What is it?” Kenobi questioned, his eyes clouding with doubt as he scanned your face, your delicate hand now combing back his long hair welcoming him with immediate reassurance. 

“I need you...” Your simple worlds caused the man to completely crumble, the sentence one he’d dreamt of for countless years, certain he’d never have the pleasure of being on the receiving end when you said it. Yet there he was, laying on top of the woman he loved, the worlds a looping constant in his mind as he watched you. “... Please” 

As if sprung back to life from the dead, he didn’t want to wait a single moment longer, his hands frantic as they reached around to the back of your neck, unfastening your dress and peeling the fabric from your upper body and down to your hips, you shuffling on the mattress, assisting him in any way you could. Pulling the material down your legs, he used one hand to toss it behind him, the other tugging the shoes from your feet before he did the same to himself, ridding him of his pants and footwear before returning his attention to you. 

Stoll hovering above you, he spends a small moment ogling at your naked torso, the way your sprawled hair and tinted cheeks complemented your exposed skin. He was certain he was in the presence of an angel, wishing he could freeze the sight of you before him and stare at it for eternity, yet the harness between his legs prevented him from doing otherwise, him lowering himself to your chest. 

His hands roamed freely across your skin, the sensation of his drifting fingers leaving your hairs standing on edge as his mouth now worked itself across your shoulder blades, each hot kiss leaving a trail of wetness behind. 

Even though you had no intention of staying quiet, small sighs and groans fell freely into the air, each one growing louder as Obi Wan worked his way down your body, him coming to a standstill as his mouth reached your breast. 

His mouth occupied with one, his hand now toying with the other, your breathing grew heavier in pleasure, only spiraling the frenzy that burned inside Obi Wan.  

“Oh my... oh my god” you breathed, your hands shifting between the back of his shoulder blades and the strands of his hair. 

“You’re so beautiful” he mumbled dreamily, his mouth and hands switching positions as he worked himself across to your right breast, his hand now kneading your left. 

Although you were coursing with pleasure, you still needed more, you growing impatient with his slow teasing.  

“Obi Wan, I...” 

“Yes, my darling?” 

“I need more” 

“More?” he teased, his head lifting from your chest and snaking its way to your neck, him now trailing a row of small pecks to your ear, pausing to whisper, “Tell me what you want” 

“Your hands. Please, Obi” 

An exhale of laughter blew into your ear, Obi Wans mouth finding your own as his hand snaked its way down your body, his hand slightly trembling as it reached the lining of your underwear. He toyed with the edge of the fabric, your lips mashing with his as your hips lifted in reflex to the touch, pushing him to continue. 

As his fingers dug beneath the fabric, you released a rumbly moan into his mouth, the sound causing him to eagerly press further, the pads of his fingers collecting wetness as he explored. Your sounds of pleasure grew more rapidly as his fingers moved, him finding your bundle of nerves with ease causing you to cry out and press up onto his hand, a smirk forming on his face as you did so. 

Both your palms now held his cheeks, keeping his lips pressed against yours as his hand worked on your below, a rhythm forming in his movements causing a buildup to form within you, a pressure initiating in your core.  

Keeping his thumb on your bud, his index and middle finger explored lower, pausing at your opening.  

“Is this what you desire?” he asked between kisses, his voice low and rough. You nodded in agreement, your eyes shut in bliss as his thumb continued its movements. 

“You words. I need your words” 

“Yes!” you cried desperately into his mouth, a sigh leaving both of your lips as his fingers entered you.  

His movements started slow, him taking in each new feeling as his fingers slowly worked in and out, but it wasn’t until he felt the connection of your hip meeting his hands that he allowed himself to speed up, your continuous moans on his lips reassurance that you were enjoying yourself. It wasn’t long before the tension within you began rapidly building to new heights, the two of you breathing deeply into one another. 

“Obi...” you moaned, your mouth detaching from him, bottom lip falling slack as your skin began to tingle with pleasure, “I’m... I'm close” 

His movements stayed steady, your hands beginning to shake as you drew closer to your release until everything suddenly stopped, his fingers inside you now a ghostly presence as he removed his hands from beneath your underwear, bringing them to his own, him pulling the fabric down as you gaped at him in disbelief of what he’d just done. 

“Why did you st-”  

Your questioning was interrupted with a firm, sloppy kiss, you jumping at the return of his hands as they fell on the side of your leg, grabbing the fabric of the only remaining piece of clothing on your body before tugging them down your thighs. 

“I need to feel you, now” he said as he leant back on his knees, readjusting to both of you around so that his legs were between yours, your legs bent and thighs spread as he lowered himself, his body straight as he hovered above you once more. His free hand grabbed his shaft, lining it up with your core, his eyes peering up at you as he did so. 

“Are you s-” 

“Obi” you groaned in annoyance, your body still tingling from his edging just before. 

“I need you to be sure” he said back with a competitive tone, yet the small smile on his face revealed anything but anger. 

“I want you Obi Wan. Right now. Please” 

With your green light, he thrusted his hip towards you, your entrance welcoming his tip as he lowered himself into you, the sounds leaving both of your mouths a cocktail of pure pleasure. He moved slowly, wanting to prevent causing you any discomfort but also needing to savor the feeling. This really is heaven, he thought. 

Dragging himself in and out, he refused to pick up his pace until you granted him to do so, a wave of excitement spreading through him as your hips began to meet his. He entered you with more force, hip colliding with yours as he rocked into you, causing you to cry out in satisfaction. 

“Faster” you mumbled, your head falling sideways as he began to move more vigorously. 

“What was that?” he teased, pretending to not hear your words. 

“Please, faster, Obi Wan!” you cried. 

His speed doubled as he worked into you, both of your bodies rocking in sync as he lowered his mouth to your neck, his lingering pecks growing sloppier as he the time passed, vocal groans and heavy puffs rumbling against your now tender skin. 

The familiar building began to form within the pits of your stomach once more, your hands reaching out to claw at the exposed skin of Kenobi's back as you breathlessly moaned, “Fuck... You’re so good” 

“Yeah?” 

“Mmmh hmmm” you nodded, his lips snaking their way down to your chest once more before returning to your face, his forehead resting on yours as his wild eyes peered down into yours. 

“No other scum can please you the way I can” he groaned somewhat angrily, his lips pressing onto yours forcefully as his thrusting hardened causing a cry to crawl itself out from your throat, “Only I can... God, only I can have you like this. Tell me only I make you feel this good” 

“Obi Wan!” you called, your chest rising and falling rapidly as the ache in your core drew closer to release. 

“I said tell me!” he paused, his hand snaking its way down to your thigh, gripping the skin and hiking your leg up beside him causing his thrusts to fall deeper inside you. 

“It’s only you, Obi- Oh my... Only you make me feel this good!” 

“That’s right...” he cooed, placing a kiss to your swollen lips as his forehead returned to yours, his eyes lapping up the visual pleasure displaced across your face.  

Your cries both messy and loud, your hands began to shake once more as you were now on the edge of your release, Obi Wans own pent up tension a reflection of yours as he bucked into you. 

“I’m... I’m...” you stuttered, your hands frantic on his skin as his breath fanned your face, you unable to finish your sentence as his mouth returned to yours for a final time, his free hand gripping your skin tightly as you reached your peaks, you crying out inaudible appraisals as you came undone, your nails digging into Obi Wans flushed skin as he rocked into you, his release directly chasing yours, his loud moans echoing in your ears.  

You rode the wave of your highs together, his hips continuing to rock into yours as he emptied himself inside of you, his mind a haze of complete bliss as you held him, your rocky breaths across his skin sending shivers down his spine. 

You stayed like that for what you wished could be an eternity, basking in the euphoria that coursed through your veins as you both relaxed into one another, you gasping as Obi Wan removed himself from your warm walls before plummeting onto your frame, your skin to skin contact an immediate warming comfort.  

Catching your breaths, your hand raked the skin on his back, your palms soothing the red scratches you created just moments before as he delicately placed fluttery kisses on your already bruising collarbones. Neither of you had spoken a word, you both basking in the moment, absorbing the affections you were gifting to one another before Obi Wans head rose from your chest, his eyes slightly glassy as he drew in your attention. 

“As cathartic as that was... we do have an assignment to complete” he joked, the hair on his chin tickling the skin on your chest as it bounced with laughter, you tossing your head back with a groan before peeking down at him once more, his wide smile a reflection of your own. 

“I hate you, Kenobi” you teased, your hands snaking their way up through his hair, your fingers pausing to give a section of strands a slight tug as you spoke causing his smile to widen. 

“My darling, I hate you more than you’ll ever know” 

[im-a-wonderling]

Rescue Me, Part 5 ~ Obi-Wan Kenobi

Sorry this took so long! I had a conference and then a car accident and then was maid-of-honor in a wedding, so safe to say things have been chaotic. I hope you guys enjoy!

Summary: Y/N tries to cope with the aftermath of the events on Neftali and Obi-Wan Kenobi's part in them.

Warnings: a sort of panic attack and PTSD

Word count: 5.9k

Rescue Me masterlist | Main masterlist

Words did not exist in the place I was.

I did not exist in the place I was. 

And strangely enough, there was no place where I was either. I was both nowhere and somewhere. Or maybe I was multiple somewheres at the same time.

But there was no time. 

Time did not exist either. 

There was no weight to me, for there was no form to me. I could not move, but I did not need to. I could not feel, and I didn’t need to do that either. All I needed was just to be, and I was, and the was-ing was.

Then something shifted.

I couldn’t describe what was different from Before, I only knew that I was now in After. There was no light, no sound, no smell, nothing I could discern other than the certainty that somehow, something was changing. Gradually, everything began to grow heavier and heavier, but not in a fearful way or an exciting way, just in a way.

And then, suddenly, there was pain.

Oh, it ached and burned, growing worse. And worse.

I couldn’t temper it or move away from it, forced to experience the pain exactly as it was.

Then, I felt tiny strikes, small reliefs from the otherwise all-consuming fire.

Next came the light. Dull and warm. It didn’t shine on any shapes or colors, but any light was a contrast from the nothingness of Before. 

Slowly, I became aware of where the fire’s shape started and stopped. Where I started and stopped. I could feel legs and arms again, battered and burning as they were, but I couldn’t move.

“Y/N, please, please wake up!”

I could’ve cried at the sound of that voice coming from somewhere above me. I tried to say the name, but my voice didn’t work, as if it was still in Before.

“Please, Y/N!” 

Now I could feel my face, but most particularly the pressure on my cheek accompanied with tiny scrapes that did not hurt.

“C’mon, talk to me, open your eyes, breathe!”

I tried. I tried so hard to listen, because I would do anything that voice asked of me, but I couldn’t move, no matter how hard I fought.

Obi-Wan’s voice grew quieter, and at first, I was alarmed. Was I fading back to Before? No, that couldn't be, because I could still feel the burning pain and the small pricks of relief. No, Obi-Wan’s voice softened as he chanted something. Was it my name? It didn’t sound quite right to be my name. I strained to listen.

“I’m sorry,” he was saying. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

 He said it over and over, and I yearned for him to stop, but the words only poured forth at a greater speed and intensity. “I should’ve run faster, I should’ve gotten to the club sooner, she wouldn’t be here if I’d been faster. I shouldn’t have left her alone in that bar or in the storm, I should never have let her go. It’s all my fault, I know it is, but please don’t take her from me.”

My chest twinged, a hurt much different from either the fire or ice. I gathered every part of myself, urging my body to listen. Obi-Wan didn’t deserve this. He saved me when I’d already owed him more than I could ever repay.

Another tiny strike hit my face, but it wasn’t cold like the others. “Please don’t go, Y/N.”

I clung to the words, building up the momentum.

Move, I ordered my body.

Nothing happened. 

MOVE!

All at once, my chest rose as I inhaled what felt to be a great big breath. My heart started at a dizzyingly painful pace. Had it not been beating before? 

A strangled, shuddering gasp came from above. “Y/N?”

I still couldn’t move my arms or legs or even lift my eyelids. But my chest moved as my lungs expanded and retracted.

Whatever I was lying against shifted. “You’re okay.” The familiar scrape brushed across my forehead, my hair. “Thank the stars.”

I tried to speak, but all that came out was a tiny grunt.

“It’s okay, you’re okay, you’re safe, take your time.” The warm scrape brushed down my temple back to my cheek. The callouses on Obi-Wan’s hand, I realized. Then something else brushed my forehead without scraping, something softer.

I’d felt it recently before.

Was…Obi-Wan…kissing my forehead?

Fighting for every miniscule movement, I peeled my eyes open.

The first thing I saw was the upside down and blurry face of Obi-Wan. I blinked several times, and my vision cleared to show me the ginger hair laying flat against his head and trickles of water rolling down to meet his beard. His eyes blinked rapidly, likely protesting against the water.

The water. The tiny strokes of relief from the fiery pain all over my body was water. 

Were we in a refresher?

“Buh…” I managed to say, but the sound was painful to my own ears. I weakly cleared my throat. “Bun-ker.”

From Obi-Wan’s expression, one could have mistaken the word for a treasure. “No, we’re not in the bunker, we’re on the ship, we’re going back to Coruscant.” He shifted behind me slightly, making me aware of how much of my bare skin was touching his, but I didn’t have the energy to pull away even if I’d wanted to. “How do you feel?” 

I swallowed, the movement feeling as foreign as if I’d never done it. “Hurts.”

He nodded, giving a weak laugh that reverberated against his chest where I lay. “That’s to be expected.”

My view continued to expand. I could see the walls of the refresher behind Obi-Wan and water dripping down from the stream pouring from the head of the refresher. 

“How…?”

Obi-Wan’s hand squeezed my arm. “I found you.” Normally the words would be comforting, but there was a strangeness to them. Was it the tone? The cadence? I wished we both were still connected to the Force so I could better understand what lay beneath his words, but as it was, I couldn’t muster up any words to ask.

With great effort, I lifted my hand from where it’d lain limply by my side to cover his hand.

Obi-Wan looked away so immediately, I nearly withdrew it, as if I’d done wrong. But while his face was turned away from me, his arms seemed to hold me tighter. 

I pressed my hand to his chest, waiting patiently for him to turn back to look at me. 

Was I imagining the shudder that passed through his body when he finally met my eyes? And also the fear in his blue eyes?

“It took so long,” he finally rasped. “I came back, and you were gone, and it took so long–” He shook his head as he cut himself off, eyes falling to the floor of the refresher. Whatever words were building in his throat seemed to be hurting him. “You were blue. You were blue, and you weren’t moving, not even breathing, and I was so scared that you were–” Again, he stopped, staring hard at the floor. The rising and falling of his chest was more ragged than before. 

I lifted my hand from his chest to his face, trying to reassure him. 

He cleared his throat, looking back at me with hope. “But then I remembered what you told me when we were in the bunker, a-about not rewarming too quickly? And then…then that gave me the hope that you would wake up.” 

I gave a weak smile. 

We sat unspeaking, listening to the pattering of the water on the floor. While moving was still greatly difficult, I gradually felt more and more aware. Obi-Wan watched me carefully, his gaze constantly shifting from my face to the rest of my body. 

When Obi-Wan reached up to turn off the water, I could finally hear the hum of the ship’s engine in the absence. Obi-Wan didn’t move yet, seemingly in no hurry. 

My wrists started throbbing oddly, and I tipped my head to look at them. The shackles are still there, I realized. Of course there was no way Obi-Wan would risk cutting off my hands altogether simply to remove the chains that still bound me.

But somehow, those chains felt heavier than everything else. 

My breathing grew choppier. 

Eleven days. 

I’d spent eleven days hanging from the ceiling, eleven days with little water and littler food, eleven days in pain while being…

I shuddered. If Obi-Wan hadn’t come for me…would I have died in that dungeon? Or would Dooku have kept me alive and suffering until I caved?

Obi-Wan’s thumb moved to wipe away a tear I hadn’t realized had fallen. “You’re okay.” 

The soft words only made more tears fall. Obi-Wan flinched as the vice grip I clung to him with increased. I tried to let go, but my hands could only cling to the only safety I could feel without the Force. 

Obi-Wan gently freed one arm and grabbed the cloak sitting on the metal floor just outside the refresher, using it to wipe off the excess water. 

Once I was dry enough, he got to his feet, pulling me up with him. My feet, still bare, shuffled against the metal floor as I focused on trying to stay balanced on them. “I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan said helplessly as he guided me onto a rickety cot in the ship, “I left too quickly to grab any supplies. I don’t have food o-or water or any clothes for you or even blankets and we’re still hours away from Coruscant.” 

I wanted to wave away his concern, but the fabric of the cot was likely just as cold as the metal surface of the floor. 

“You’re shivering,” Obi-Wan said with alarm. “You weren’t shivering before.” 

“N-no, it’s g-g-good,” I muttered quietly through chattering teeth. “M-m-means m-my bod-dy is fin-nally fi-fighting.” For warmth, I wanted to add, but it was so taxing to speak. 

Obi-Wan pressed the back of his hand to my forehead. “You’re still not warm.” He took his hand away, and my forehead felt colder than ever. 

I reached out blindly for his wrist, and upon finding it, brought his fingers back to my forehead, sighing at the warmth of his skin. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t reconnected with the Force, I didn’t need it to know that Obi-Wan was hovering. 

The cot sank a bit by my thighs, as if Obi-Wan was leaning his weight into that spot. Then, the space behind me dipped further.

An arm wound around my waist, pulling me into the heat of Obi-Wan’s body.

There was a soft grunt. “You’re freezing.”

I didn’t answer, too overwhelmed to think straight. His touch was still prickling and painful against my skin, but there was another sensation that bloomed somewhere deeper than my skin, a sensation that seemed to frighten the chill. When my shivers finally subsided, my still body sent my exhausted mind into the embrace of sleep.

-

“Y/N?” Obi-Wan said, what felt like a minute later.

I forced my eyes open to see him in front of me, the metal walls of the ship just behind him. There was no hum from the ship’s engine. 

“Let’s get you to the healers.”

Pressing my cheek into his chest, I allowed Obi-Wan to pull me to feet I could barely feel and guide me wherever he wished. Even though it was night on Coruscant, everything still seemed too bright. I squeezed my eyes shut as the movement of walking tugged and pulled at my sore body. 

“Y/N?”

The voice was familiar enough for me to peel my eyes open in time to see Chief Healer Vokara Che rushing towards us. “Put her down here.”

Obi-Wan helped me lay on the bed Vokara Che indicated, and the minute my back touched the cushion, Vokara Che started bustling about. She pressed a hand to my chest, just under my collarbones, in the way of Jedi healers and the way she’d taught me. I could feel her searching the Force within my body. 

“What are you waiting for?” Obi-Wan came around to my other side, having been pushed out of the way by the head healer. “She needs food!”

Vokara Che snapped in Obi-Wan’s face. “Do not order me around in my own temple infirmary, Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan’s nostrils flared. “She’s been starving–”

“She cannot eat yet,” the healer cut in, “or we risk subjecting her to refeeding syndrome.”

“I didn’t bring her to you so you could–”

“Kenobi, hold your tongue or I’ll have you thrown out.” The following moment of silence was fraught. “Y/N,” she said, quietly but not gently, “the Force in you has been disrupted.”

I nodded. 

“Was your Force connection severed?”

I glanced at Obi-Wan before realizing, too late, how incriminating such an action might be. “I had to pull back,” I whispered. “Che, it was Dooku.” 

Vokara Che looked between the two of us, her lips pursing. “No wonder you’re so weak.” She yanked a blanket up and over my body. “You know what the first step towards healing is.”

I needed nothing more.

The moment I threw my mental shields down, the Force came rushing in, filling me with such warmth and security, I let out a long breath. My eyes closed, my body lighting up with something akin to rejoicing. Homecoming. 

When I opened my eyes, the lights in the temple infirmary seemed brighter. Vokara Che patted my shoulder in her firm manner. “Now stay still, I need to scan you.”

She bustled away, rummaging around before returning with a machine I knew well. We used it to quickly scan and address physical injuries. The machine whirred as she passed it up and down my body, collecting information.

The beep of confirmation was followed with a sour look on the healer’s face. “You’ve lost 18% of your body weight.” 

18%? Almost a fifth of my total body weight?

Even though Vokara Che spoke with a matter-of-fact tone, I could feel the buzzing of her anxiety through the Force, even if it wasn’t as palpable as the anxious thrumming of the light. The healer’s eyebrows lowered the more statistics the machine provided. I closed my eyes, too tired to keep up. 

Malnutrition slowed healing greatly. My body didn’t have the energy for basic functions, let alone the uphill climb of getting my muscle mass back. To avoid refeeding syndrome, I’d have to introduce enough nutrients with slowly increasing amounts of food, keeping close watch on my metabolic levels. It would be a slow process. 

“May I speak with you, Kenobi?”

I opened my eyes to see Obi-Wan standing beside me, looking down with a blank expression that couldn’t disguise the worry permeating his force signature. 

“Go.” I patted his arm to try and be comforting. 

“Kenobi?” Vokara Che prompted again. 

Obi-Wan turned with what seemed to be great effort before following Vokara Che out of the door. 

Leaving me alone.

The only light came from the window behind me. 

I didn’t need the beeping to tell me that my heart rate increased. I’m safe, I told myself sternly. Obi-Wan and Vokara Che, my two mentors were only just on the other side of the door. I wasn’t in the dungeon, I was in the Jedi Temple. Dooku was far from me. 

A gentle scraping started off to my left. 

“No,” I mumbled, my mouth dry. The chains around my wrist clanked as I clutched my arms to my chest. They ached as if I were right back in that dungeon. Suspended. Hanging. The subtle thumping of my heart in my chest grew until I could feel it beating in my stomach. 

The scraping increased. 

I can’t go back, I can’t do this again, never again, not back in that place, not back with Dooku, freezing and starving, I can’t–

“Y/N!” Obi-Wan burst in, rushing to the side of the bed. “What’s wrong?”

I only balled up tighter. No matter how hard I fought for air, I never got enough. A sharp cramping started in my side, painful enough to make me gasp. 

“She’s panicking,” Vokara Che’s voice said, sounding funnily distant. 

A hand touched my shoulder. My skin seemed to scream at the contact, but my limbs couldn’t move beyond the trembling of my hands. 

“Y/N, honey, look at me.”

I was petrified, unable to respond or move or even breathe.

“You’re safe. Dooku isn’t here. You aren’t on Neftali. You’re safe, you made it, I’ve got you.” He said the words over and over again, a wave of reassurance flowing in from the light. 

Then, before I could react, arms wrapped around my hunched body. Gently, hands guided my head up until my face pressed into the telltale fabric of a Jedi tunic. A chin rested on the top of my head, and when Obi-Wan continued to speak, I could feel the rumble of his words against my temple. “You’re safe. He can’t get you here.”

Finally, I clutched the front of his robes with my trembling hands, taking comfort in the Jedi-ness of the fabric’s coarseness. Don’t go, I pleaded with my grip. Don’t leave me. 

“That’s it,” Obi-Wan said gently, his hold tightening on my shoulders. “That’s it, honey."

As the panic subsided, exhaustion took its place. I started to droop against Obi-Wan’s chest, my grasp on him quickly slackening. He could’ve easily untangled himself from me now, but I didn’t feel him move. 

“Kenobi–”

“I’m not leaving.” A hand rested on my head. “I’m not going anywhere while she needs me.”

“Your judgment is clouded,” the head healer said briskly. “You have no idea what’s best for her right now.”

“I’ll be quiet,” Obi-Wan promised, his light thudding in time with the heartbeat against my ear. “I’ll do whatever you tell me, I swear.” 

Vokara Che’s response was muddled as I fell back into sleep.

-

My eyes flew open. I grasped my wrists where I could feel the chains, but my hands touched not harsh metal but my own warm skin. My body remembered the chains, even if they were no longer there. 

I glanced around me, the sight of the temple infirmary never more comforting. There was ample light, and the faces of the other Jedi were comforting in their familiarity. I’m not in a dungeon anymore, I reminded myself as my eyes traveled over the other beds. 

Then my eyes reached the seat beside my own bed where Obi-Wan sat, watching me with the look I recognized as an assessment. “How do you feel?” he asked. 

“I’m well enough.” I sat up, swinging my legs to the side of the bed. The casual air I’d intended to have was foiled by the slowness of my movements and the pained grunt that left my lips. 

I paused then, disoriented by the Jedi undertunic I wore again. When had that been put on me?

Obi-Wan’s light gave a thoughtful ripple, and I distinctly avoided looking at his face. Shame coursed through me at how pitifully I’d clung to him before falling asleep. That wasn’t the Jedi way. Our comfort came from the Force, not from other beings. Obi-Wan was being far kinder than his mission required him, though it was likely second nature to him now after being my master. 

Speaking of…

“Where’s Ghon?” I asked. “How much does he know? Is he upset?”

Obi-Wan’s face pinched for a moment before returning back to the placid mask I recognized as being his negotiator’s mask. “He’s worried about you. He knows your mission was only supposed to take an evening.”

I winced. Ghon needed a lot of support, and after this whole ordeal, he would be practically buzzing with anxiety. Before I could ask anything more, my eyes flitted to the infirmary doors just in time to see them open. 

Luminara strode in, coming quickly to my bedside and addressing Obi-Wan. “The council requests that you appear before them.”

Obi-Wan nodded, getting to his feet. 

“Both of you.”

The light pulsed unpleasantly. “Y/N has still not recovered. She is traumatized and needs time to heal.” Obi-Wan’s authoritative tone didn’t seem to land with Luminara. 

She blinked slowly, a brave feat when faced with Obi-Wan’s displeasure. “I’m sorry, sir, but the council insists.”

I braced my hands on the bed, using them to balance my weight on my feet. “I’ll go.”

Obi-Wan stepped closer, reaching out as if to push me back on the bed. “You can’t, you’re not well.”

“I will answer the council’s request.” I picked up the Jedi overtunic on the small table beside my bed, struggling to put my arms through it. 

“Y/N–”

“Don’t.” I finally managed to pull the tunic on, relishing in the familiarity of it. “I’ll not let your concern get in the way of my obedience.” Attempting for loftiness, I lifted my chin before brushing past him, but I only managed a few steps before reaching out for something to aid me in holding myself up. 

Wordlessly, a calloused hand caught mine. Much like how we’d walked to the club, Obi-Wan let me lean on him as he walked me out of the infirmary, except now I didn’t have poor footwear to blame my unsteady gait on. 

It was a good thing those blasted shoes and revealing dress were still on Neftali. I never wanted to see them again.

“You should be resting,” Obi-Wan grumbled, clearly unable to help himself. “The council can wait a day or two.” Perhaps it was my imagination, but the farther we walked, the more agitated the light grew. Was he truly that worried about me?

“It’ll be quick,” I promised, without a clue how long the meeting would actually take. Strange. It was just the type of promise I would make Ghon. A promise born of a deep desire to reassure without being certain of the truth. 

Obi-Wan slowed down. “Let’s take a break.” I started to disagree, but he cut me off with: “Y/N, your breathing is getting ragged.”

I stopped walking, pressing a hand to my chest. He was right. I allowed him to lead me to the nearest wall so I could lean up against it. 

I could remember a time when my body lived easily, when my steady heartbeat paired with the assured pumping of my lungs. My legs were capable of inhuman jumps while my hands could heal nearly every possible wound. But now, when my body didn’t have to do any of those things, something as simple as walking required more of me than I had to give. 

That 18% loss of my body weight took all my stamina and fortitude with it, and I sorely missed them. 

“I won’t be jumping off of any mountains any time soon,” I tried to joke, but my tone was all wrong, too flat and serious. I glanced up at Obi-Wan, prepared for a teasing comment about wallowing, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was staring down the hallway in the direction of the councilroom, his hands fidgeting with his robes. He looked as though he were gauging the distance. Obi-Wan could be protective, he’d proven that on Taris. But why was he so protective now? Only a few more feet and I would be in one of the most protected places in the galaxy. 

When I got up, Obi-Wan didn’t take my arm again. Instead, he hovered a stride behind me, close enough to catch me if I were to crumple to the floor. If he’s so worried I’ll fall, why doesn’t he walk beside me? I wondered.

We reached the councilroom doors, and I didn’t even have a moment to smooth down my robes before they slid open.

There should’ve been some comfort in the familiarity of the grave expressions of the council, but their faces only made me tense. “Knight Y/L/N,” Master Shaak Ti acknowledged, her voice firm. My spirit gave an almost audible waver as if it gulped where my dry and sore throat could not. 

Obi-Wan hung back, allowing me to walk in first. I did, expecting him to walk past me towards his seat once I reached the center of the room, but he did not. Behind me he still stood, exactly in the position I’d stood when I was his padawan. Why was he behaving as though he were the lower-ranking warrior between the two of us when his empty council seat was right before me?

Master Windu extended a hand. “We’re pleased that you’re safe.” I bowed slightly, wishing his tone sounded less robotic so that the words might sound more genuine. “We sent for your padawan the moment you arrived. He should arrive from Ryloth soon.”

Even at lightspeed, it took days to travel to and from Ryloth safely. If I’d been gone for ten days before they sent Obi-Wan after me, I’d have been gone less than a week before they sent Ghon away. 

I tilted my head. “Why is he there?”

“When we were unsure that you would return, we reassigned him to Master Ima-Gun Di.”

I stared at Master Windu, my lethargic brain struggling to wrap my mind around the idea of my padawan being reassigned. When his face didn’t shift, I glanced around at the others, hoping for some explanation. Did they not have faith in Obi-Wan’s ability to rescue me? Is that why they sent my padawan away before sending Obi-Wan after me?

Master Yoda lifted the end of his walking stick, pointing it at me. “Conflicted, you are.”

“Yes,” I admitted. “This ordeal has been…confusing.” I felt the Force in the room darken a bit. “I imagine it will take a lot of work before I am fully–”

Fully what? Fully at peace? Fully safe? Full healed?

“–normal.”

“Vokara Che has notified us of your injuries.” Master Mundi leaned forward. “You endured much.”

Unbidden rose the feelings of cold, hunger, and fear. I lowered my gaze to the floor, trying to remain calm in front of the council. How was I expected to respond to that? How would one of them respond if they had been subjected to Dooku’s torture? 

“I’m just grateful it wasn’t worse,” I finally replied, even as my thoughts swirled. Was grateful the right word? Yes, I was glad to be out of that dungeon and off that icy planet and perhaps even glad to be standing before the council. But was I truly thankful that it wasn’t worse? How could it even have been worse? 

“Much more rest, you need,” Master Yoda decided, his wise eyes piercing my inner depths. “Feel your exhaustion, we do.”

I bowed my head. “Yes, master.”

“Heal while you await your padawan’s return,” Master Windu said. “When he does, we’ll inform you of your next mission.”

Another mission. I swallowed hard before bowing and leaving the chamber on unsteady legs.

The doors hissed shut, but I didn’t sag against the wall to catch my breath until I’d turned the corner.

Perhaps it was a good thing Ghon wasn’t here to see his master like this. In the few days until he arrived, I needed to get my strength back. Especially if the council would send us on our next mission when he arrived. I couldn’t afford to not be able to protect my padawan when Dooku was now aware of his existence and could potentially target him.

I heard the council doors open. Ever the humble Jedi, Obi-Wan’s feet dragged a bit as he came around the corner, his light flagging. Did he truly hate praise so much? I’d only been commended by the council once, but it was a euphoria unlike anything else. Though perhaps when one had been commended so many times, it lost its punch. 

The smile I plastered on my face took much effort, but I resolved to stay positive. “So? Did they give glowing praises?”

Obi-Wan’s eyebrows furrowed as he bent down beside me. “You don’t look well,” he said softly. 

My smile fell. “Is it that obvious?”

“Yes.” Obi-Wan smirked. “C’mon, let’s get you–”

Abruptly, he stepped away until he was almost on the other side of the corridor, just as Masters Windu and Fisto rounded the corner. 

I blinked, confused.

I’d felt their Force signatures drawing near just as Obi-Wan had, but I’d ignored it, whereas he’d almost scrambled away from me. 

The masters didn’t look in my direction, walking right past me without so much as an acknowledgement. When they were well past us, however, Master Fisto glanced back at Obi-Wan, and I felt a surge of something through the Force.

Regret?

No, that wasn’t quite right. 

It was too complex, too layered for me to puzzle out and after the masters walked through the doors at the end of the corridor, their Force signatures grew too faint for me to fully perceive what lay within them. 

Obi-Wan came to crouch beside me again. “Vokara Che said she has a regimen for you, to get your strength back, and she wants you to start today.” He held out his hand to help me up. 

“What’s going on?” I asked him instead of accepting his hand.

“I’m taking you back to–”

“No,” I interrupted, “what’s going on with you? Why did Master Fisto look at you like that? What happened?”

Obi-Wan licked his lips. “Y/N,” he said in a way that didn’t sound like him at all, “why don’t we just–”

“Did they not commend you?” I pressed. Obi-Wan motioned for me to take his hand and stand. “I won’t move until you give me an answer.”

“They didn’t.” No longer waiting, he took my hands and pulled. 

I allowed him to bring me to my feeble feet, even as the blood started to drain from my face due to the exertion. “Why didn’t they?” I faced him, leaving a hand on the wall for balance. “Do they…” I swallowed hard. “Do they care so little about me that your mission means nothing to them?”

Obi-Wan coughed even though his throat sounded clear. “It would…mean something.”

“What do you mean ‘it would’?” I narrowed my eyes. “What aren’t you telling me?”

He sighed, rubbing his temple with his thumb in a strange and unconfident gesture. “I wasn’t commended because it wasn’t a mission.”

Now the blood drained from my face for a different reason. “What are you talking about? What do you mean it wasn’t a mission?”

“Please, Y/N.” He tried to reach out for my arms, but I pulled away, swaying a bit. 

“But why would they have sent you if it wasn’t a mission? You wouldn’t have come if–” I stopped. “Obi-Wan…did…did the council not send you at all?”

He let out a long breath. “I asked them to.”

There’s only one response they must’ve given, but I still had to ask. “And they refused?”

Obi-Wan didn’t answer, turning his face away from me. But shame radiated through his signature, and it wasn’t a shame directed inwards. 

“They…they left me to…die?” I stammered, a second wave of something hitting me so hard, the world started to sway. 

That’s why they sent my padawan away. Not because they had no confidence in Obi-Wan, but because they never expected for me to be rescued. Obi-Wan had come to rescue me despite their inaction. 

But if Obi-Wan was part of the council, how could he cross them? To cross them…was to cross himself. He undermined his own authority by disobeying the council. Was the council angry? Is that why Masters Windu and Fisto didn’t acknowledge either of us? But then why would Master Fisto feel something similar to regret? Had they punished Obi-Wan? 

It was getting harder and harder to breathe.

I didn’t realize Obi-Wan was steadying me until he tightened his grip on my shoulder. “Are you alright?” His concern, which would normally have felt so comforting, was now worrying. Why did he seem so much more distressed by my health than the council?

The floor seemed to swirl under my feet as I shrugged out of his grasp. “What did they say to you?” I demanded. “What did they do?”

His answer was too quick. “Nothing.”

“There’s no way they’d allow you to just defy them, especially to rescue me. So tell me. What did they do?”

“Vokara Che will be wondering–”

“Tell me!” I shouted at him.

The light of Obi-Wan’s signature grew stronger as we stared at one another, becoming increasingly resolute the longer he looked at me. “They stripped me of my status as master.”

How could he lie about such a thing with such a straight face? It was unfathomable! No, if he were no longer a master, that would mean he was no longer on the council, and the very idea was a joke. I leaned into the Force, trying to parse through what he’d told me, to puncture the lie. 

But instead of sharpening, the Force softened, cradling me as if to comfort me. 

“No,” I blurted. I shook my head, causing my head to spin faster. “It’s not possible.”

Instead of answering, Obi-Wan just looked at me. He didn’t argue with me or try again to get me to the temple infirmary. In his silence, the truth had nowhere to hide and became apparent at last. 

“H-how are you simply okay with this?!” I cried. “They just stripped you of your position on the council, and you’re not even the least bit concerned that–” I broke off. The words I spoke seemed to wound me more than they wounded him, almost as if…as if he wasn’t surprised. “By the void,” I said faintly. “You knew they were going to do that to you.”

Obi-Wan’s sigh seemed to come from the depths of the Force. “I didn’t know completely…but I suspected.”

Something in me flared, rearing its ugly head as it was reborn from long ago: the anger I thought I’d put to rest. Staring at the unruffled Obi-Wan Kenobi, now Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi instead of Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, I couldn’t contain it. “That’s why you tried to keep me from going before the council, isn’t it?!”

“Y/N,” he said sharply, “I was concerned only with your health.”

“No, no, you were trying to keep your secret from me!” I lifted a tingling hand to my head. If only everything could stop spinning!

Now Obi-Wan finally looked distressed. “Please, Y/N, don’t do this now. You’re too weak.” 

I looked up at him, dazed but focused on his steady, blue eyes. “Why…why would you…” I stumbled, struggling to regain my senses long enough to put my racing thoughts in order.

The world spun faster for a moment as a strong arm looped around my legs, knocking me off balance. I felt as if I’d been thrown into the air, until my head fell against a chest. A beard brushed against my forehead, and the comforting smell of Obi-Wan enveloped me. 

“Why would you?” I managed to whisper as my eyes fell shut. “Why would you do that?”

“Shhhhh. You need rest.”

My anxiety, though fuzzy at the edges, did not lessen. How could I rest, knowing Obi-Wan defied the council and lost his position in it? But as I should’ve expected, the answer to my plight for rest was Obi-Wan himself, his strides lulling my tired mind back into sleep.

-

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[queer-irritator]

Mkay, for Kenobi I feel like we always skip over how much potential there is for Padawan!Obi-Wan x Padawan!Reader.

Kenobi (bless his soul) had his heart broken by when the mission was over and didn’t know how to handle it, so he goes to his closest friend since a youngling; reader. (It could be fem. Reader, but it doesn’t have to be, that’s just what I identify as 😊.) And they both develop a little crush on one another over time. And from there they both just love one another as “friends”, until the end of ROTS when they realize they can’t be without one another.

Hopefully this feeds your mind :)

I love this!! I love it so much that this has to be two parts! Not sure if you wanted smut, but I threw a little in there ;) Also not proof read bc it's me

CW: Smut, fluff, afab anatomy, no gendered language, alcohol references, hurt/comfort

Word count: 3,238

Part 1

You met Obi-wan on your first day in the Jedi temple on Courscant, he was the first person to really become your friend, even though he was two years older than you. You would always find a spot next to each other during Master Yoda’s training and lessons as younglings. There were a handful of times the two of you were given a talking to from multiple different Masters after you “disturbed the class”. To be fair, it was mostly you being disruptive, and Obi-wan giggling at your antics. Eventually you both learned your lesson to stay focused during training after it was hammered into your head enough times. As you grew older together you would sneak into each other’s sleeping quarters to goof off. 

By the time you were 12 you had gotten into a routine of having Friday night hang-outs together. Switching whose room you snuck off to every other week, you hoarded snacks from the week for your night together. One week in particular you had convinced him to watch one of your favorite movies. 

“You’re gonna love it!” You assured the boy next to you, elbowing him in the side playfully.

“I don’t see how that’s possible…” Obi-wan sighed dramatically and leaned his back against the wall of your bed. 

You rolled your eyes and opened three different bags of snacks you have been hiding, Obi-wan’s hand immediately dove into the first bag you opened. After starting the movie on your holo-projector you mirrored his position and began to munch on your snacks. 

The comfort and consistency of having Obi-wan by your side became so familiar, so when he came to tell you he was going away on a mission, the shock took your breath away.

“I don’t know when I’ll be back.” Obi-wan admitted, lowering his gaze from your eyes to the floor. 

The stinging behind your eyes and the burning in your throat threatened an incoming flood of tears. You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. If you were to speak you knew you would just end up crying. 

He finally glanced up at you. He could almost feel his heart break seeing the well of tears in your eyes.

He softly called your name, eyebrows knitted together in concern. He stepped toward you and wrapped his arms around you, and you instinctively clung onto him and sobbed into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized between sniffles, it was embarrassing that he was seeing you like this. You weren’t aware of it at the time, but he had his own tears trailing down his cheeks. 

“Don’t be sorry.” He blinked away his tears and let go of the hug to look into your eyes, “We’ll talk everyday, even if it’s just a binary message, okay?” 

You nodded as you used your sleeve to wipe your tears and snot. You knew this day would come, Obi-wan had turned 15 and been training as Qui-gon’s padawan for two years now. It was time for his first mission off-world. 

Qui-gon approached the doorway to your room where you and Obi-wan stood saying your good-bye’s. 

“It’s time to go, Obi-wan.” He spoke calmly.

“Yes, Master.” He replied obediently. 

He gave you one last hug and exchanged one last good-bye before he turned around and walked out your door.

For the first few weeks, you had both kept your promise to talk everyday. But, life started to get in the way. You became a padawan, assigned to Plo Koon and Obi-wan was becoming more engrossed in his mission. You still made time to chat a few times a month, but it wasn’t as often as either of you would have liked. 

Obi-wan ended up staying on his mission for over a year. He would frequently talk to you about the Dutchess Satine he and his Master were protecting. You could tell by the way he talked about her that he thought of her as more than a friend. Whenever you would elude to the fact that he obviously had feelings for her his face would flush and he would change the subject. 

You could hide your jealousy, but you couldn’t deny it. You never thought of Obi-wan as anything other than a friend until you realized you didn’t have him so close to you anymore. When you came to realize Satine wasn’t just a crush he would get over, you began to explore your own romantic interests. Often times you would just make up stories of someone you liked or held hands with just to see how Obi-wan would react. He always seemed happy for you, but his smile and words didn’t always match what his eyes showed. 

One night you were reading a book in your bed when you heard a soft knock at your door. You closed your book with a sigh and pushed yourself off the bed to answer your door. 

“Yes?” You spoke before you could fully take in who was standing before you. 

It was Obi-wan. He surely seemed to have grown a lot for being away for just a year. He looked older, of course. But he also seemed wiser, like he had gone through many hard lessons. Before he could speak, you engulfed him in a death-grip of a hug. 

“You’re back!?” You exclaimed, clinging onto him like he would disappear if you let go. 

His arms softly returned your embrace and he rested his chin on your head. 

“I’m back.” he confirmed. 

Sensing something was off, you gingerly let go of him and looked into his eyes, searching for an answer to your unspoken questions. Becoming more in tune with his emotions you sensed a deep sadness and loss. 

“What happened?” Your voice had lowered, afraid that something terrible had happened on his mission.

“I couldn’t do it.” He returned your same tone of softness. 

“Do what?” Your brows furrowed together in confusion and concern. You gently led him into your room, the door automatically closing behind him. 

“I couldn’t leave the order… For Satine.” He finally admitted, taking a seat on the edge of your bed. 

A sad sigh escaped your lips as you sat next to him, your knee brushing against his. You knew how deeply he cared for Satine, how much pain he must be in. But part of you couldn’t help feel some relief. You decided that you were relieved no one was dead or seriously harmed, not that you wouldn’t be losing Obi-wan. 

“I’m so sorry, Obi.” You placed your hand on his back and gently rubbed small circles with your hand. 

He was hunched forward, head drooping down and you saw a tear fall from his cheek and leave a wet stain on his clothing. As your heart broke in two, you pulled him into another hug. 

Obi-wan wrapped an arm around you but had pulled away slightly to look into your eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” You repeated yourself, your voice barely audible. 

He lifted his free hand to cup the side of your face and gently brushed his thumb over your cheek. Before you could question his actions, his lips were connected to yours. In any other situation you would be ecstatic to be sharing your first kiss with the boy you grew up with. The boy you had been unknowingly longing for since you very first met. But his kiss felt desperate, insecure, and it was laced in pain. You were frozen for the few seconds his lips were on you. When he had pulled away he looked terrified. 

“Obi-wan…” You began, but were cut off by more tears falling from your best friend’s eyes. 

All you could do was wrap your arms around him, and this time he just fell into you, sobbing. You placed a hand on the back of his head to hold him closer while shushing him and telling him it was okay. 

You held him in your arms all night until he eventually fell asleep. You stayed awake for a few hours switching between rubbing his back and stroking his head.

The next morning he tried to apologize for his actions, but before he could find the words to get out you were shaking your head and telling him not to worry about it. That was the last time you spoke of your kiss, but definitely not the last time you thought about it. 

-

Time marched on, Obi-wan came to terms that his feelings and attachment to Satine could not progress if he were to continue his Jedi training. The two of you followed this trend of hurt and loss followed by getting too close to each other. Despite the two of you agreeing that you wouldn’t share anymore kisses or stay awake until the early hours of the morning holding each other, it never failed to occur. One of you would be hurting and seek the other out for comfort, but in the feelings of despair and lowness, you clung to each other in ways you both knew you shouldn’t. It was always just short kisses, holding hands, laying in bed together, until Master Qui-gon had died. You didn’t think it would be possible to see Obi-wan in more pain than after leaving Satine, but you were sadly mistaken.

It was a few weeks after he died, everyone was beginning to settle into the new normality of life without the Master’s presence. And Obi-wan was once again knocking at your door late in the evening. Usually when he came to see you this time of night he couldn’t sleep or had an extra hard day. 

“Come in.” You called as you closed your holo-screen. 

You were studying for your trials to become a Jedi Knight, specifically a Jedi Investigator. Obi-wan had gained the rank of Jedi Knight after defeating Darth Maul, excusing him from performing the trials, and rightfully so. Everything had changed so drastically in a such a short amount of time. Qui-gon was gone, Obi-wan defeated a sith, became a knight and gained a padawan. 

“Still studying so late?” Obi-wan questioned you.

“Yeah, well not everyone is as naturally gifted as you are, Jedi Knight Kenobi.” You teased him.

He chuckled, but you could tell he had an especially mischievous demeanor to him tonight. 

“What are you up to?” You raised an eyebrow at him out of suspicion. 

“Oh, nothing.” He eluded your question as he walked around your room casually, “I was just curious if you’d like to get a drink?” 

You smiled at him, but held your suspicion, “Sure… is that all you were curious about?”

“Maybe.” Is all he said to you as he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, observing your movements.

You rolled your eyes and slipped on your shoes, “You’re a dick.” You said, elbowing him in the side before leading the way out of your room. You could hear his chuckle as he trailed behind you. 

The two of you walked to a hotel a few blocks away that had a nice bar and restaurant in the lobby. Obi-wan led the way towards the bar and ordered the both of you a drink. You leaned against the bar, using your elbow to prop yourself up slightly.

“So, how has Anakin been doing?” You initiated the usual small talk.

“Very well, actually. He’s a quick learner.” Obi-wan casually bragged about his new padawan.

“I’m not surprised, he has a great teacher.” You smiled at him as a droid set down your drinks. 

You handed one of the glasses to Obi-wan and clinked your glass with his lightly, “To new beginnings.” You toasted and took a healthy gulp of your drink.

Obi-wan nodded in agreement and mirrored your actions, “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about tonight.” 

“Mh, is that so?” You questioned him, continuing to sip your drink. You could notice that he had more of a nervous energy now that the conversation topic had switched. 

“Yes, but I might need another drink first.” He chuckled slightly, finishing his drink. 

You were starting to become suspicious of what was on his mind. Could he be trying to get up the nerve to tell you he was leaving again? 

“What’s going on, Obi? You know you can talk to me about anything.” You set your empty glass down and placed your hand on his shoulder. 

He took a moment to order another drink before turning his attention to you, “I know. I’ve just been thinking… about us.” 

A puzzled look came over your face, “What do you mean? What about us?” 

You felt your heartbeat start to increase. All you could imagine was him telling you that you two were two close and it was against the Jedi code. That you can’t have a friendship any longer. Obi-wan downed the shot he ordered as soon as it was set on the table. It must be bad if he can’t even talk to you sober. 

He lowered his voice slightly, “How we go to each other at our darkest times… You’ve always been there for me.”

You gave him a sweet smile, “Of course, you’re there for me too. That’s what friends are for.”

“See, that’s the issue. I’ve been thinking about you in ways I shouldn’t… More than a friend.” He had been inching closer to you. 

A blush crept onto your cheeks. The intimate moments you’ve shared were never something you discussed outside of the heat of the moment. It was the unspoken rule you had. But, Obi-wan did seem to be breaking all types of rules lately. 

When you didn’t give him any response besides staring into his piercing blue eyes, he moved even closer to you and placed a hand on the bar so it was gently on top of yours.

He leaned close to your ear and whispered, “I want you.” 

Suddenly your throat seemed dry, you had to clear it before you could get any words out, “I want you too.” 

He didn’t hesitate to plant a soft kiss on your lips. You moved your lips against his as your eyes fluttered closed. Whenever you felt Obi-wan’s body against yours, it felt like home. Like you could finally breathe and relax. He pulled away too soon for your liking.

“I got a room upstairs.” He informed you, resting his forehead against yours. 

You nodded as a grin spread across your lips, “Okay. Let’s go.” 

Before that night, the two of you had never had any sexual contact. There had been a few times Obi-wan got a boner in the middle of a heavy make-out session, but that was when you two would stop and he would be too embarrassed to stay in your presence any longer. It was a line the two of you had always been too scared to cross. Not because of each other, but because of the Jedi code, or if someone else would hear or see you. But tonight was different. It was perfect in its own, very Obi-wan way. There were some awkward moments at first and Obi-wan was uncharacteristically clumsy at times. But once you were both naked and he was on top of you, things came naturally. 

“You’re sure this is okay?” It must have been the tenth time Obi-wan was asking you.

“Yes, I’m sure.” You assured him as he was leaning over you, slightly sticky with sweat and concern plastered on his features. 

“Because I can stop if you’re not sure-” He began again, but you interrupted him by placing your hands on the side of his face. 

“Obi-wan Kenobi. I would very much like to have sex with you. I’m very ready and I’m very sure. If you are too, can you please put your dick in me.” You were staring into his eyes with every word you said. 

He chuckled slightly as his head dropped down, but then he nodded, “Okay.” 

He carefully guided himself and pushed through your entrance. You let a moan out as the feeling of his cock stretching and filling you up consumed all your senses. Obi-wan placed one hand on the side of your hip and used the other to hold himself up as he set forth a slow rocking motion. 

He experimented with different angles and quickly learned by the sounds you made and how your nails raked across his skin which ones worked the best. As the true gentleman he is, he spent most of the time making sure you were thoroughly satisfied. It wasn’t until you began to encourage him that he focused more on his own pleasure. 

As you were recovering from your third orgasm, you spoke up, “It’s your turn now, Obi.” 

Your chest was rising and falling heavily, your hair a mess from the pillows and Obi-wan’s hands, and a dark red flush across your face.

“But you look so beautiful like this. I don’t want it to end.” He protested, planting soft kisses on your neck and chest. 

You smiled and ran your fingers through his hair that he had recently started to grow out, “You can’t have all the fun.” 

You sat up and switched your position so you were on top of him now. 

“Oh, this should be fun.” He chuckled and rested a hand on your thigh and rubbed your skin gently with his thumb. 

“Just you wait.” You teased him as you slipped his cock back into you and began to rock your hips back and forth. 

You could tell he liked it by the way he shut up and tightened his grip on your thigh. This encouraged you to go faster and you held onto his forearm to help keep your balance. 

“Oh, stars.” He was almost whimpering as he watched you ride him. 

He couldn’t keep his hands to himself, he used his free hand to rub circles on your clit. You were both a moaning mess as you continued to please each other. It took everything to keep your eyes on Obi-wan, you wanted to see him come undone beneath you. It didn’t take much longer as you felt his cock twitching inside of you and Obi-wan’s eyes squeezed shut and his eyebrows knit together as he reached his orgasm. The sight alone would have been enough to get you off, but his thumb was still rubbing your clit when you reached your final orgasm of the night. 

After taking a moment for both of you to come down off your highs, you lifted your shaky legs and collapsed next to Obi-wan. He puts his arm around you and turned his head to kiss you on the forehead. You instinctively scooted closer to him and curled up against his side, hand resting on his chest. It was the first time neither of you felt guilt creeping into your minds. The first time there was no ‘We shouldn’t have done that’ or ‘It can’t happen again’. 

The two of you had come to the very delusional conclusion that you weren’t in violation of the Jedi code on two conditions. One, that you weren’t in a commited romantic relationship together, and two, that it didn’t become something you did regularly or often. It would be casual, beneficial even. Two friends and co-workers helping each other relieve stress. Of course it would remain a secret, but not because it was wrong, because your friendship was no one else’s business but yours. 

A/N: I'm gonna do my best to have second part up real soon 🫡

[owkdisabilityexchange]

Hello and welcome to the second Obi-Wan Kenobi Disability Exchange!

Find the AO3 collection for this year here! Read the works from last year here!

This is a disability-positive fic and art exchange created to bring more disabled Obi-Wan content into the wonderful world of fandom. To participate, you will need a registered account on AO3. If you don't have one, send me a message here and I can get you an invitation to register. If you want to participate as a pinch-hitter or beta-reader, please fill out this google form.

A few ground rules:

-If you have questions about the exchange itself, check the AO3 Gift Exchange FAQ and the OWKDE FAQ first, and if they aren't answered there, send an ask. If you have questions about your specific fic or assignment please use DMs or email owkdisabilityexchange@gmail.com.

-As this is a disability-positive event, ableism will not be tolerated. Please be respectful and sensitive about the subject matter. Ableism will be allowed in the content of the fics provided it is not supported by the narrative and is treated appropriately (i.e. the character may face stigma or internalized ableism, but this is resolved in a positive way without the character being 'cured'). If you have concerns send a message here, and I will do my best to answer them.

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-Obi-Wan must be disabled in some way, even if he is not the main character, but other characters are also welcome to have disabilities.

-The minimum word count for fanfics written for the exchange will be 500 words. Fanart must be fully rendered and complete (more polished than a sketch).

2024 Schedule

-Sign-ups begin on Sunday, June 16th and end on Sunday, June 23rd (6/16/24 - 6/23/24)

-Assignments are sent out Sunday, June 30th (6/30/24)

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-Pinch-hits are due Saturday, September 14th (9/14/24)

-Works are revealed Sunday, September 15th (9/15/24)

[Image ID: A screencap from Revenge of the Sith. Obi-Wan stands in the "Soresu" stance, with his left arm stretched out in front of him, and his right arm holding his lightsaber next to his head, the blade almost parallel to the ground. His mouth is slightly open, and his expression is intensely focused on something off-screen. White text reads, "Obi-Wan Kenobi Disability Exchange". End ID]

[fromasgardandback]

Not A Damsel In Distress

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Princess!Reader

description: A Sith Lord kidnaps you and you’re saved from a handsome Jedi Master.

word count: 1.3k

masterlist | oneshots

It was another typical day on your planet. You were a princess of the kingdom, a loving ruler to your people, and a kind-hearted woman who everyone adored. You were fearless, a fighter, and a smart mouth when need be. Your elders did not like that, but who are they to comment when you were the one to end the civil war they started? You knew your place and what your duties were. You took your job very seriously, but when a powerful Sith Lord comes to your home planet and demands to either destroy every last living creature or take you, you did not hesitate to follow. 

“You are a fool if you think that by killing me, you would be gaining my people and their planet. They are fierce, loyal, and honorable people.” You started fighting against the chains that held you to the cold, condensation concrete wall.

“And you princess are naïve. We did not take you because of your people and their “loyalty”. Your home planet drives on a powerful force that preserves life forms. You were in the way, we took you. Your home planet is blowing up as we speak.” One of the generals posted outside your cell talked back to you. You couldn’t help but chuckle at his stupidity.

“You are a fool. They will fight to the death to protect the given right to our natural elements. Nor do you know how to use them. You would not be able to use them correctly or to their full potential. Only certain people who are still alive on the planet know how to use these natural elements properly.” You spat at them, a slight smirk curling at the corner of your lips. “That would be such a shame to kill everyone, including the people you need to use the tool you’re looking for. Oh, but alas, you’ll never find them. Such a pity.” You smirked harder when the door opened to reveal the general standing outside your cell with an angry look.

“Back away, general. We need her alive.” Another voice followed, soon to take the form of a tall, older, gray-haired man. “Count Dooku. A pleasure to meet you, princess.” He creepily stared down at you with a serial killer smile. 

“Count Dookie. Nice to meet you too. Say, which one of these bozos learned their wits from you. I can smell the desperation since we landed.” You smiled innocently as if you had not just insulted the Sith Lord.

“Keep it up. You won’t be showing your quick wits much longer. I don’t need you conscious to get what I need from you.” With that comment, he turned and walked away from your cell. The loud, metal-clinking doors closed, and as night settled in, you started to lose faith in someone coming to rescue you.

“Master Kenobi, we need your help. Our princess was taken by the Imperial Empire. We have valuable natural elements of our planet that they want. Please help us.” The kingdom elders spoke desperately in the hologram message R2D2 played.

“We need to find the Princess, Master. She is highly acclaimed and knowingly fighting against the Imperial armies.” Anakin said crossing his arms, looking at the hologram.

“I know the Princess personally. She is a fighter. Tell your men we are ready to leave.” Obi-Wan sternly said, nodding towards Anakin. What Obi-Wan didn’t tell Anakin was how he knew the Princess. They met on Corasaunt when she came to talk to the council about having Jedi assistance. She was fierce and quick-witted, and even though it was against the Jedi Code, Obi-Wan fell for her. Rather fast that it surprised him.

Obi-Wan, Anakin, and the 501st landed their ships in the docking bay of the Imperial ship. Anakin ordered Rex to go search the area for any known threat and the two Jedi searched for the kidnapped Princess. You sat there waiting to be rescued, listening to the droids continuously say “roger roger” over their intercoms every time they got an order. It became a game that each time they responded with the double word. Although you forced yourself to find some peace and solace in your cell. Besides th droids being completely annoying and useless, it was rather quiet. A little while longer you heard the electric sound of lightsabers being used down the hall.

“Secure the Princess. They’ve come to save her.” A general droid said to the other lower life form droids.

“Roger Roger.” The comment only made you laugh, and a little too loudly.

“Come here, Jedi.” They said going to shoot them, but instead came falling to the floor.

“I’ll get the Princess. Find Count Dooku.” Obi-Wan instructed Anakin.

“Yes, Master,” Anakin responded leaving. Obi-Wan used the Force to open the cell doors and release you of your chains.

“Master Kenobi. How’d you find me?” You smiled thankfully, watching him release you.

“Princess Y/N, Sith Lords are our specialty,” Obi-Wan smirked cutting your ties loose. You rubbed your wrists where the chains had been and followed Obi-Wan out.

“Fighting is mine.” You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck, and hugging him closely. “Thank you for saving me, Obi. I knew it would be a Jedi. I’m delighted that it was you.” You tried to fight back the blush creeping onto your cheeks.

“I couldn’t let my best girl be taken forever, now could I?” He smugly smiled. You rolled your eyes at his playful antics, a side only you got to see.

“Let’s get out of here, I practically know my way around this forsaken ship.” You followed behind him. Once you got into the elevator and no cameras, people, or droids around, you sneakily leaned up and kissed his cheek. His face started to turn a shade of red as the doors opened to reveal a disgruntled-looking Anakin. His hair was all over the place and he was slightly panting.

“Anakin, are you ok?” You asked him, tenderly looking out for your secret love’s Padawan.

“I am fine, Princess. Thank you for your concern.” Anakin nodded placing his lightsaber back on his belt. “I found Count Dooku.” Not long after his sentence, the Count came down the hall after Anakin, lightsaber in hand.

“Princess.” Dooku seethed. “A shame you must die for your actions here.”

“Ah, Count Dookie. Tell me, did you wake up one day and decide to be an evil white-out raisin with no personal life but following orders as a pitiful man because you have no backbone or what?” You said putting your hands on your hips. Both Anakin and Obi-Wan tried to keep in their chuckle, but both failed to do so laughing at your quickness.

“You think you’re smart, Princess. I will not hesitate to destroy you.” But what he didn’t take into account was that your insult was a distraction that had the Count flustered long enough for Obi and Anakin could apprehend him.

“It’s a beautiful night,” Obi-Wan commented looking at the sky on your balcony overlooking the ocean on your home planet.

“It is stunning. I wake up to this each morning.” You said looking up at him. “You could enjoy this view every morning too. I told you, you were welcome anytime.” You gently placed a fallen hair behind his ear.

“I wish I could. It’s against the order, you know that.” Obi-Wan sadly looked down.

“Attachments are forbidden. Love is not an attachment, only a pure gift few get to indulge in. Indulge in it with me, even if it’s just for the night?” You pleaded with him, gently holding one side of his face in your hand.

“For you, I’d give up the order.” Obi-Wan closed the gap between the both of you. He held you close to his chest, kissing you deeper with years of emotion.

[imaginesfordifferentfandoms]

my tears ricochet

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Prompt - ‘And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home.’

Requsted - Yes - @fandomtrashwhore 🤎

You had been fighting in the Clone Wars for a long time now, in that time you had been mad, you had felt anger for all the men lost, all the civilians used and left without anything, you had felt rage at the helpless feeling, at how it seemed the war would never end. In the years of the Clone Wars you had felt a lot of emotions, intense and overwhelming ones, but never anything like this.

You were seething, it felt like white hot anger was running through your whole body, lighting you up, and you couldn’t let it show, not whilst you stood before the Council, not as you listened to them debate your future before you. They spoke freely, murmuring to each other about your actions, about attachments and your anger, how your path had become clouded with the Dark Side.

You wanted to laugh, you wanted to cry, you wanted to let the Force break out from where you were barely containing it and let it wreak havoc on the room as you stood there. You had pleaded with them, Force had you pleaded with them to hear you out but they weren’t listening. It was like their minds were already made up on the matter and they had just been waiting for you to mess up.

The worst part of this whole trial was that the one person you wanted to be on your side hadn’t even opened his mouth. Your eyes were locked onto Obi-Wan but he refused to look up at you, refused to meet your gaze and that might have hurt more than any punishment the Jedi Council could give you.

You and Obi-Wan had been close friends for years but with the war you had been partnered together, working closely side by side, fighting together and having each other's back every day.

It was no wonder you fell in love with the man.

You kept your feelings to yourself at first though because while you may not have cared much for certain ways of the Jedi, you knew Obi-Wan believed in the ways and you never wanted to put him in a position where he would have to choose between you or the Jedi, not when you knew you wouldn’t stand a chance against the Order.

That was until you had been captured and tortured, you couldn’t have said at the time just how long you’d been gone for, to you it had felt like years but Obi-Wan had told you, with tear filled eyes, that you’d be gone for a number of weeks.

When Obi-Wan had come for you all you could do was collapse into his arms, not helping him as he led you back to the ship and barely remembering him getting you to the medbay. The next time you opened your eyes the pain had lessened and Obi-Wan was sitting at your side, his hand in yours and that feeling, the feeling of his thumb brushing softly against you was enough to erase any remaining pain away.

It was a long journey back to Coruscant and you were only stuck in the medbay for the night before you received the all clear from the medical droid with orders to rest for a few days. Despite the clearance Obi-Wan insisted you share his room on the ship with him so he could watch over you.

You had hardly protested, unwilling to give up a night or two sharing a bed with Obi-Wan. In those two days everything between you seemed to shift, the whispered words in the middle of the night, Obi-Wan holding you close whilst he murmured how brave you were, the overwhelming fear he’d felt when he lost you.

Obi-Wan knew he could no longer deny his feelings for you, he’d always known but he tried desperately to shove them down, to ignore it because that was the Jedi way. Attachments were forbidden but with you gone he realised that was too late, he was already attached to you. He couldn’t stop himself, not when you looked up at him, looking at him like he was the only person in the galaxy.

He cupped your cheek and brushed his lips against yours, softly at first to give you a chance to pull away but it didn’t take long for the kiss to turn hungry and desperate, both of you making up for lost time as you clung to each other.

When you eventually pulled away Obi-Wan had tried to apologise, stammering out an explanation but for as legendary as he was with his words this time he could come up with nothing to say.

Whatever stuttered words Obi-Wan had managed to get out were cut off by you shushing him with another kiss before you both pulled away, Obi-Wan leaning his forehead against yours as he looked at you in wonderment.

Somehow you had been able to convince Obi-Wan that this was a good idea, whatever relationship came from these kisses would be good. You could both keep it away from the Council, keep it just yours and make sure it didn’t interfere with your jobs. Obi-Wan had nodded along with your words and let the relationship continue.

That had all been just over a year ago and now you were standing before him as the other Master’s held the fate of your future in their hands. You hardly recognised the man, not right now when he wouldn’t even meet your eyes.

He was the whole reason the Council was debating anyway. They had given you an order, Obi-Wan had been sent on a solo mission with half of the 212th whilst you were needed in another battle with the remaining battalion.

Mid battle you felt a shift in the Force and it wasn’t long after one of the clones had told you they heard through the comms that Obi-Wan had been taken. You hadn’t even waited for him to finish speaking, taking one of the smaller ships and a small squadron you left the battle and the planet behind, uncaring that it was an important battle, uncaring that winning it would gain the Republic a key partner and planet in the war.

You didn’t care, the Separatists could have the planet, they could have all the towns they’d burnt down, the only thing that mattered to you was Obi-Wan.

It hadn’t taken long for the Council to find out you had abandoned your post and were heading towards Rigantu. They had immediately demanded your presence through the comms and you cleared the room before connecting with them.

“The Battle on Creanti is too important, Y/L/N. We cannot risk it staying in Separatists hands, we need that planet.” Master Windu told you like one might talk to a child.

“And what of Obi-Wan? What are your plans for him? I’m the closest person to Rigantu, you know that as well as I do!” You snapped, sick of going round in circles with the Council.

“Obi-Wan will be fine, you can rescue him after you have completed your mission on Creanti.” Master Windu stressed and you chuckled humorlessly, the last time you had spoken to Obi-Wan he looked terrible but assured you he could last until you arrived.

You had been taken and tortured so long ago and Obi-Wan hadn’t hesitated to come for you, you were going to do the same whether the Council approved or not.

“It could be too late after my mission, Master.” You hissed the word, your tone full of venom and you watched as Master Windu’s eyes narrowed at you before he and Master Yoda were sharing a look.

“Forbidden from going to Rigantu, you are.” Master Yoda said after a long pause of silence where the two Master’s held a silent conversation. “Go back to Creanti, you will.”

“You cannot stop me, Master.” You told them with a calmness you didn’t feel. “Punish me if you must but I’m not leaving him to die out there. Not Obi-Wan.”

With that you ended the comm call and made your way through the ship. It was only an hour long trip to reach Rigantu and you spent most of that time desperately trying to find even a sliver of Obi-Wan’s force signature but never did.

It was maddening.

Eventually you arrived on the planet and had the ship set down next to the palace. Through intercepting Separatist comms you had managed to find where Obi-Wan was being held.

You barked orders at the men, used the Force to cause so much destruction, walls were torn down, cliffs crumbled and you tossed droids around wildly, uncaring about anything other than getting Obi-Wan back.

Once you were in the palace you heard people gasping as you led a squadron through, not holding back as you marched ahead, making quick work of anyone who stood in your way.

From the room you knew Obi-Wan was being held in you could hear pained grunts and muffled sobs like he was trying not to give his torturer the satisfaction of knowing how badly he was being hurt but couldn’t stop the noises when the pain was too much.

You strode down the hallway, taking out the droids in a matter of seconds before your lightsaber pierced through the locked door and you cut a circle into the metal, stepping through the second the door fell to the floor.

The person torturing Obi-Wan looked like a doctor, a few Separatist leaders in the room but you didn’t spare them much of a look. You just wielded the Force until it felt like something you had never felt, whereas the Force was usually Light and easy to manipulate this time it felt heavy and Dark.

You didn’t care though, not when it had Obi-Wan’s torturers falling to their knees, choking for air as an invisible Force cut off their air supply. You kept moving even as you clenched your fist, making your way over to Obi-Wan and gasping at the sight of him.

He was black and blue with bruises, burns covering the skin you could see cuts littered on him. That was the final push you needed to clench your fist harder, hearing the collective struggles come to a stop.

“I’ve got you.” You murmured, quickly undoing his shackles and gesturing for the men to help you lift him.

It took a while to get to the ship, Obi-Wan was dead weight at that point but that didn’t matter, he was still breathing even if they were shallow.

You could see Obi-Wan’s ship and made your way over to that, knowing there were med droids on board that you needed to get Obi-Wan to.

From there everything had been a blur, Obi-Wan was unconscious the whole journey back to the Temple but the med droid assured you he was stable, you were ripped away from him the moment your ship landed. Masters Windu and Yoda were waiting for you and told you that you were to stay in your quarters until they called you before the Council.

The days drove you mad, nobody would tell you anything, droids brought you meals and you weren’t allowed to see anyone. You were scared for Obi-Wan, all you wanted to know that he was ok.

The next time you saw him was when the Jedi Council convened and called you before them, which brought you to now. Obi-Wan looked better than he had the last time you had seen him, from what little you could see with the robe covering so much and his refusal to meet your eye.

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, Master Yoda cleared his voice and the room went silent. You could only look at him as you waited for the verdict.

“Punished, you will be.” Master Yoda said after a pause of silence, “To be expelled from the Jedi Order, you are.”

The words had barely left his mouth before you let out a slightly maniacal laugh, his words ringing in your ears as you stared down at him, shaking your head in disbelief.

“You’re throwing me out? I saved Obi-Wan’s life, you saw him, he wouldn’t have lasted as long as you wanted to wait! I saved him and you’re punishing me for it!” You exclaimed, jutting your chin out as Master Windu levelled you a cold hard look, one that would usually have you falling silent and complying with whatever order you’d been given but you figured there was little you could do to change their minds so what did you have to lose. “Surely you can see how ridiculous this is. We’re fighting a war, we need all the help we can get!”

“Trusted, you no longer are. Go, you will.” Master Yoda told you and you shook your head again.

You could have just walked away, the decision was made and you knew once the Council had decided on a matter that was it, really you should have left with grace and your dignity but you didn’t care for that.

There was only one thing you cared about and he was keeping his mouth firmly shut.

“You’re not even going to speak in my favour,” You laughed bitterly, finally addressing the man you loved, the man you were getting thrown out of the Order for. “I saved your life and you won’t say a word.”

Obi-Wan finally glanced up at you, a guilty, broken look on his face. He opened his mouth as if to say something but was cut off by Master Yoda clearing his throat causing Obi-Wan to look down. When you glanced over at Master Yoda you saw the mistrusting look on his face but it was gone just as quick as he turned to you and gestured towards the door.

“I have given my life to this Order!” You exclaimed, the rage you felt was unbearable, it felt like it was burning you from the inside out. “I followed your commands and played by your foolish rules for years and this is what I get! If this is the future then I sure as hell am not rooting for your success against the Separatists, you’re all as bad as each other.”

With that you turned on your heels, using the Force that was bubbling with anger to slam the doors open, the sound echoing around the chambers, before you stormed out with your head held high.

You went back to your rooms, the second the door slammed shut behind you, you let the rage explode, the Force spreading across the room just as Dark and angry as you felt and destroying everything around you. Everything that could break shattered, furniture, books, pictures, everything went flying leaving the room a mess and all you could do was scream, scream for the man that you loved more dearly than anything but who clearly didn’t love you back as much.

You don’t know how long you stayed there for, eventually falling to your knees but at some point you managed to pick yourself up off of the floor and packed a small bag. You didn’t know where you’d go, some outer rim planet perhaps, where you could lay low and decide what your next move was but you knew you had to be away from Coruscant.

So that’s what you did, you found a ship to a sleazy outer rim planet you had never even heard the name of and left Coruscant behind, looking out of the window and cursing the Order, cursing the man who hadn’t fought for you.

As you sat on the shuttle you felt a tear slide down your face but quickly wiped it away. Tears wouldn’t solve anything and you refused to cry over any of them, not when you had given your life to them and this is how you were repaid.

Your new life was…lonely. It was the only word for it but it was easy to turn that loneliness into pain and anger and feed the Darkness inside of you. Ever since the day you’d rescued Obi-Wan using means that weren’t Light you had grown obsessed with feeling the hum of the Dark Side, the anger you felt at the Order only made it easier to call upon the Darkness until you were wrapped around in it with no way out.

Even with this newfound Darkness growing inside you, dragging you further in with each new day, you could never shake your love for Obi-Wan. You’d tried to, Force knows it would have been easier if you could, but you’d never been able to turn your feelings for Obi-Wan off.

You still had plenty of old contacts, most still willing to talk to you as it seemed the Jedi Order were covering the fact you had been expelled, rumour has it they had told people you were on a top secret mission. You couldn’t help but laugh at that, they threw you out without a second thought but they were more than happy to cover up to make themselves look like the heroes.

Speaking of heroes, according to your contacts Obi-Wan was still playing the same unshakeable hero that everyone knew, still flying around the galaxy as he did whatever the Council asked of him. Here you were on some nowhere planet, life ruined and Obi-Wan was saving face so he could still be Jedi Master Kenobi.

You might still have loved the man but Force if it didn’t make you angry thinking about how Obi-Wan had refused to even stand up for you. The worst thing was you knew that if the situation was different, if it had been Obi-Wan stood up there alone and expelled from the Order, you knew you’d have stood from your chair and walked out with him. You’d have done that for him and he hadn’t even been able to look at you.

The anger you felt just continued to feed the Dark Side, before you knew it when you looked into the mirror you were staring at eyes you didn't recognise, they were yellow and angry.

This is what the Council had done to you.

Obi-Wan felt like he was losing his mind. He might have played the perfect soldier, continuing to go wherever the Jedi sent him, continuing to fight and win battles before readying himself for the next mission. He might have looked like the same person everyone had known before you left but he wasn’t.

He was constantly running on too little sleep. Whenever he did manage to drift off it wasn’t ever long before he woke with your name on his lips, dreams of you alone somewhere in the galaxy, dreams of you telling him how much you hated him. His waking hours weren’t much better, you seemed to be everywhere, he couldn’t escape you. He’d look out into a crowd and see your face in it, he could hear you whispering, taunting him as he did what was expected of him.

You truly were haunting his every waking and sleeping moment. He walked around with the weight of his regret on his shoulders every day, wishing things were different, wishing you had stayed, wishing he had gone with you.

He just wished everything was different.

It was a big galaxy, you could go anywhere you wanted now you were no longer a part of the Jedi Order. You had long since left that small planet and moved on to the next and when you tired of that you moved on. You could go wherever you wanted and yet you couldn’t go to the one place you wanted to be most: home.

You wanted to go home.

Not to Coruscant or the Temple, though that is where you have been since you were a child. No, home to you was wherever Obi-Wan was, it didn’t matter if it was some occupied Separatist planet or the Negotiator, wherever he was it always felt like home. It was the one place you wanted to be more than anything.

Now you were alone in the galaxy, moving from planet to planet with nothing but your anger keeping you going.

Obi-Wan couldn’t believe what he was hearing, standing before Master Yoda and Master Windu, both of their expressions deadly serious.

“I will not kill her.” Obi-Wan finally choked out, shaking his head in utter disbelief at what they were asking of him. “You cannot ask me to do that, Master. I won’t, despite all that has happened she is still my oldest and dearest friend.”

That’s not all you were of course, to Obi-Wan you were still his whole world, he still loved you more dearly than he had ever thought possible. He had his loyalties to the Order though, the Order he had sworn his very life to. He never wanted to have to choose between you or the Order, desperately believing he could keep the two apart but he should have known better really.

“The girl you knew is long gone, Obi-Wan. Our sources assure us she has fallen to the Dark Side and we need to stop her. We can’t have more Sith when we’re already struggling to fight this war.” Master Windu said coldly, showing no sympathy for Obi-Wan.

“Questioned, your loyalties are. Whispers of your attachments, there are.” Master Yoda said. “The Jedi Master you are, prove to us.”

“You question my loyalties? I let her go, did I not? Surely there is another way to prove myself, I cannot kill Y/N.” Obi-Wan pleaded, feeling his world giving out around him.

“Obi-Wan, we will not ask again.” Master Windu said as he pressed a chip into Obi-Wan’s hands. “This is where she is, go to her, do your mission and return to us. This is the only way to ensure victory for the Republic.”

Obi-Wan let out a shaky sigh, taking the chip from the other Jedi and turning to leave the room, missing the look shared between Masters Yoda and Windu.

By the time Obi-Wan found you you were already waiting for him, lightsaber in your hand but not yet lit. Obi-Wan made his way over to you with heavy feet before he stopped across from you.

From here he could see it was true, you really turned to the Dark Side, the Sith yellow eyes made him shudder as he recalled your Y/E/C eyes looking up into his, looking at him with such warmth that was missing now.

“They sent you to kill me.” You said by way of greeting and Obi-Wan nearly recoiled at the coldness in your tone.

“Stop this.” He pleaded with you, desperate for you to listen to him. “It doesn’t have to end this way, let me help you.”

“Help me?” You laughed darkly, the two of you know slowly walking in a circle around each other. “You had your chance to help me, Obi-Wan, all those months back and instead you sat there in silence as they decided my fate. This is my fate, this is what they made me.”

You lit your lightsaber and swung for him, Obi-Wan’s lightsaber igniting and crashing into yours. You were strong but Obi-Wan was able to throw you off him, pushing you to the side so you had to roll to stand back up just as he took his first swing.

It went on like that for a few minutes, the two of you fighting each other, such a stark contrast to the way you used to fight side by side.

“You can kill me, Obi-Wan.” You told him, your tone softer than it had been moments before and you took the way Obi-Wan paused to get another blow in before continuing. “But you will always miss me. You can lie to them, you can lie to yourself but you never could lie to me.”

Both your lightsabers smacked into each other again, Obi-Wan gaining the advantage as he pushed you down, managing to use the Force to kick your legs out from beneath you as he sent you to the floor.

“Stop this!” He pleaded with you but you still held firm, knowing you were stuck but pushing your lightsaber up into his anyway.

“You know, you used to tell me I was brave for fighting for what I believed in? I believed in us, I fought for that but you didn’t.” You hissed, the heat of the lightsaber so close to your face and the effort of fighting Obi-Wan caused sweat to pool on your forehead.

“Did I deserve any of this? What did I do that was so terrible?” You asked him desperately, feeling how he shuddered at your words. “They threw me out because of you because I chose to save you! I couldn’t let you die, Obi-Wan!”

“Y/N, you knew the Jedi’s rules on attachment, we both promised we wouldn’t do anything to make them aware of our relationship.” Obi-Wan told you and you used the new wave of anger to shove him away from you, rolling out from under him and getting back to your feet, wasting no time in bringing your lightsaber down on him.

“But they’re not aware, are they?” You hissed out as your lightsabers continued hitting into each other. “Because whilst I got dragged through the flames you sat there and kept silent!”

“Do you truly think I didn’t fight for you?” Obi-Wan yelled as he brought his lightsaber down on you, again gaining the upper hand and forcing you down, trapping you between a boulder and his lightsaber. “Y/N I spent more time than I could count pleading and bargaining with them.”

“And yet you never told them you were as attached as I am.” You forced out, straining against the weight of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber as it came closer. “Did I deserve this, Obi-Wan, all the hell the Order gave me?”

“I’m sorry.” Obi-Wan whispered, you could feel him shaking from where he was pining you in place and you took a deep breath.

Even now, even with everything the Order was making him do you knew he wouldn’t leave. You knew you’d never have the man you loved back, not when he was so blindly loyal to the Jedi Order.

“I love you, Obi-Wan, I swear I love you.” You whispered before using the Force to turn your lightsaber off, Obi-Wan’s immediately falling forward into you and as you faded you heard his cry.

Obi-Wan fell to his knees, pulling your body onto his lap as he cried for you, he cried for the way your story had ended, he cried and cursed and screamed at the sky until he was too numb for anything else.

Somehow he managed to drag himself up, he picked your body up, refusing to leave you behind on some planet, you deserved better than that.

You deserved better than it all.

It was only a few days later Obi-Wan was wrapping a warm cloak around his shoulders, pulling the hood up and remembering how you had been the one to gift it to him. He made his way through the Temple with his head down, Anakin and Ahsoka were at the main entrance waiting for him and he didn’t speak as the three of them walked together.

The room was filled with people, some were crying, many were clinging to each other and Obi-Wan felt his own composure slip as tears he had tried holding back slid freely down his cheeks.

He couldn’t bring himself to walk to the front of the room where your body lay, he couldn’t do it, he had already seen your dead body enough to haunt him for a lifetime and it did. Every time he closed his eyes he saw you dead in his lap, every time he tried to sleep he awoke after less than an hour, a curse and your name on his lips as he dreamed of Sith eyes that used to be so bright, he dreamt about your last words, the love confession that he never got to return.

He swore some days he could hear you when he was awake, the words echoing in his head. Some days it felt like you were taunting him, like today he could practically hear you asking why he was at your wake when he was the one who killed you.

He tried blaming the Order at first, Masters Yoda and Windu had been the ones to give the order but he was the one who followed it. He tried to blame you for leaving, for letting your anger turn to Darkness but he knew you weren’t to blame. He regretted not walking out with you that day.

He was so full of pain, drunk on it and desperately wished it would end but it never would, this was his punishment, to live with this pain. He was a shell of the man he once was, nothing more than a ghost anymore because it may have been you who had died, killed by his own hands, but you might as well have killed him too because he had died on that planet right alongside you.

Obi-Wan had tried to forget you, he tried to bury himself into the war efforts in an attempt to forget about all the good years the two of you had had together but it was no use. 

You were always there with him, haunting him until the day he died.

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[palfriendpatine66]

Submit works for the prompt to the Obi-Wan Halloween 2023 Prompt Challenge collection on ao3 now until 10/31. On Halloween all the works in the collection will be revealed to be read. I'm really excited to see all the different ideas we come up with!

The prompt: Ghost Window AU. Obi-Wan discovers a window that lets him see ghosts on the other side.

Criteria: 1000 words or less. Any rating, any ship (if applicable), any content. Don't like, don't read. Tag accordingly

[hesthermay]

𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 (𝐏𝐓 𝟏)

PAIRING: obi-wan kenobi x fem!oc reader

SUMMARY: the shrill sound of blaster fire, red and blue shots of light cutting through the deep fog. the call of a trooper to his general, voice almost blending in with the chaos filling her ears. a blue lightsaber, illuminating the form of a quick and nimble jedi. copper hair, soft and somehow still shiny, as her fingers carded through the strands in the dead of night. flashes, these were—visions and dreams plaguing the goddess of the sun; the sun witch; whatever she may be called. viarruh finnall, the queen of orret, knew she was meant to do more for the galaxy, meant to be out there and meant to be with someone, and with the help of a dear friend that is exactly what will happen.

WORD COUNT: 8.9k

RATINGS + WARNINGS: general audiences, mature themes, slight angst? female oc, use of she/her, mentions of death, soulmate trope, eventual fix it fic. the clone wars time period.

NOTES: this oc and story has been living in my head for actual months. i love viarruh, and i sincerely hope you all do too! her and obi <3 ugh <3 there will be more to this story, i can’t say how many parts bc i’m honestly just winging it but it will follow the clone wars timeline, but it should be alright if you haven’t seen the show. also! i am planning on posting this story to my wattpad! if there are any inaccuracies or things that aren’t quite right, i’m doing my best! but i’m also flying by the seat of my pants so! oops! anyways feedback is always appreciated love u pookies

STAR WARS MASTERLIST

It was quiet in the Jedi Temple, the long corridor leading to the council room almost deserted; save for the four occupants huddled together.

Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala stood side by side as they attempted to offer small comforts to the pair before them. Time seemed to drag on as they all waited, tucked away next to a large column to retain as much privacy as possible, and nerves were understandably growing stronger.

“Just don’t look at him,” the Jedi Knight offered, holding his hands up as if the answer was so simple. He could not be faulted much, however, because he stuck around even when he had no reason to.

“Don’t look at him? I dream about him every night and you expect me not to look at him?” The woman across from him questioned, incredulous words filling the small space of their circle as her sculpted brows furrowed.

“Ani,” Padme sighed, shooting him a small smile nonetheless.

“I think what the General means,” the last member of the group interjected, his low voice easing his companion’s nerves ever so slightly. “Is that when you give your speech, do not focus on him too much. It will only distract you, and…” he drawled, words sounding like a question.

“...it’s something we can unpack later,” the woman finished with a nod, filling her lungs with air before exhaling.

“Good, very good, my dear.” Aged hands squeezed her shoulders before her attention was drawn elsewhere. Her eyes landed on the form approaching them from afar, and it was familiar to her, but it was not the man she was stressing over.

It was a Kel Dorian, a Jedi the woman had seen more than once in her visions. When he was within earshot, the woman hesitated before she opened her mouth. “Koh-to-yah, Master,” she greeted, attempting a small smile. A small effort, a metaphorical hand outstretched to make a good impression, and the man stopped in his tracks upon hearing her. It was difficult to read him due to the mask covering his face, but he bowed his head in return. A choice, to accept the hand.

“Koh-to-yah, Your Majesty,” his deep voice replied, before he continued the short trek to the council room.

“Okay, it shouldn’t be too long now that Master Plo is here,” Anakin explained. “I promise, it won’t be as bad as you think.”

There was no time to reply to him, for the doors opened and the Jedi from before, Master Plo, stepped out. “You may enter, Your Majesty. I do apologize for the wait.” He held out one arm clad in armor, and the woman detached herself from her support group with one last glance.

“Oh, no apology needed, Master,” she assured, voice soft as she passed him and crossed the threshold into the large room. Before her sat every member of the Jedi Council, some in person, some over holocall, but they all gazed upon her in a daunting semi-circle.

Her eyes zeroed in on him immediately, breath catching in her throat and heart freezing in her chest. Obi-Wan Kenobi, with his copper hair that shone in the sunlight that streamed through the many windows, was somehow even more perfect in person than in her dreams, and she did not know how that was possible.

She hoped that her face didn’t give her away, cursing herself for the falter in her stride when they made eye contact. She dismissed it, told herself to give no thought to the way it looked as if the man struggled just as much upon seeing her. That was impossible, a trick of the mind; for she was only human after all.

The young woman was suddenly aware of every aspect of herself, from the way her dress lay as she stood in the middle of the room to how heavy the crown she often wore felt on that day.

“A pleasure to see you, it is, Viarruh Finnall,” came the croaky voice of Master Yoda, and so that was where she chose to focus her eyes as she forced herself to remain calm.  

“The pleasure is all mine, I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to hear me out,” she smiled, as polite as ever in a formal meeting. She did not have much experience with Jedi, but she did have some when it came to being a Queen.

“Of course,” the man sat next to Yoda replied, his hands clasped before him. “What can we help you with, Your Majesty?”

Viarruh took another deep breath, gathering her bearings before she dove into the explanation she could only hope she delivered in a clear and concise way. Her hands reached down and fluffed her dress slightly as her lips parted, nerves shoved to the back of her mind. “How much do you know of my planet’s culture?”

A moment passed in silence, her eyes flitting from one Jedi to the next, before she continued. “Or, more specifically, how much do you know about my family?” Another beat of silence, and she began her little walk around the circle she stood in, movement helping to disperse the nerves buzzing throughout her. “In my family, the crown is passed down from Queen to Queen, traditionally mother to daughter; and that is because we possess something that I understand to be somewhat similar to the Force,” she paused, eyes landing on Obi-Wan subconsciously. He was stoic as ever, hand raised to cover his chin as he listened, and was little comfort in the moment.

“It’s ancient, older than old, and it’s…” she laughed slightly, arms moving about as she spoke. “It’s magic. That’s the only word for it. Some have called us goddesses of the sun, others have called us sun witches; regardless of that, we are capable of things normal humans cannot do. We have a connection to the sun and possess abilities that aid us in protecting our planet, our people. Traditionally,” she sighed, “mother would teach daughter how to use and strengthen these abilities, but I have been without my teacher for quite some time. I haven’t had my master to help me, I’ve been on my own with only the light to guide me in the right direction, and I will not lie to you all. There are things I still don’t know about myself, things I’m still learning. This magic, it only grows stronger as time passes, just as I do, and I have not mastered much yet.”

“Magic?” Someone questioned from behind Viarruh, and she twirled around to face the man. “I’m sorry, Your Majesty, but magic is not real.”

This reaction was not one Viarruh was unfamiliar with. The condescending tone in the Cerean’s voice did nothing but roll off her back like water. Just as she was about to respond, someone beat her to it. A few seats away, a Togrutan woman illuminated in blue as she called from wherever she resided, addressed her colleague. “Master Mundi, perhaps we should keep an open mind, this galaxy is bigger than you might think.”

The man, Mundi, as it turned out, grumbled to himself but settled into his seat nonetheless. A small smile stretched across the queen’s face, and she lit up with an idea. “On the contrary, Master Mundi,” she raised a finger, and spun around to find the beams of light trickling into the circular room. “Magic is real, and I can show you.”

She stepped forward, hand outstretched before it was enveloped in the streams of warmth. Not a moment later, the light began to shimmer around her hand, golden sparkles covering her skin even after she pulled away. She held it up to show everyone, eyes flitting down the line of people before they settled on Master Plo. The grin she shot him was, all things considered, tame compared to her usual mischievous smirk, but the man did not know that. As the woman floated towards him, all he could think of was Ahsoka Tano, and how she must be a copycat for she looked almost the same when a plan formed in her mind.  

When she finally stood before him, slender fingers were placed on his forehead and the still glittering light showered down and covered his entire body. Warmth filled him to the brim, as if the sun itself was beating down on a summer’s afternoon, and his eyes shut momentarily. When they opened again, Viarruh was still standing before him, hands at her sides but giving him a hopeful look. “Fascinating,” he mused, and the woman chuckled before bowing her head and returning to her spot. Behind her back, Plo made eye contact with Yoda before he nodded just once.

“That,” Viarruh began again, “was only a simple trick, but I feel a good example of how real my connection with the sun is. Recently, it seems I have…unlocked something. A new ability, something I had seen my mother deal with but not something she ever had the chance to help me with. I have been having visions and dreams,” she explained, face serious as she grew closer to the heart of her speech, the real reason she had called upon the Council.

“And they are only getting stronger and more persistent. Every day, now multiple times each, my mind is taken over and my eyes glow golden and all I can see is this war. I have seen it all,” she stressed, nodding her head a few times at the disbelief on some of the master’s faces. “The assassination attempts on Senator Amidala’s life, the Battle on Geonosis,” she listed, eyes wide. “I’ve seen a handful of you fight in battles, seen you risk your lives against swarms of droids. And I see myself, too; fighting with you, helping you and your men bring this closer to an end one day at a time.”

The room was so silent, one could’ve heard a pin drop, if anyone dared to move a muscle, that is. Every Jedi sat frozen in their seats, eyes all trained on the woman in the center of the room, and for a moment she felt like prey being stalked by predators. But she could not afford to let that get to her, let it throw her off her game because she was in too deep now to back out, to lose.

“I know, I know it sounds absurd, but it’s the truth. I have never been so certain about anything in my entire life, as I am about the fact that I am meant to do something in this war. I can feel it in my bones,” her fists clenched to emphasize her words, eyes boring into each and every person they landed on. “I believe that every person in this galaxy has a purpose, something they are meant to do, either for themselves or someone else; and I know in my heart of hearts, in every crevice of my mind, that I am meant to fight with you. My entire life, I have always had an intuition that rivaled anyone around me; sometimes I just know things and I am seldom wrong. I have never been led to believe I cannot trust my emotions, and that is how I know these visions mean something. I see with more than eyes.”

Her feet stopped moving, planting themselves in the dead center of the circle she had been pacing with toes pointed right at Master Kenobi. “Please,” she breathed. “You have to believe me, have to trust me that this is meant to happen.” His blue eyes bore into her, and she could not find it in herself to look away from them. If anyone in this room believed her, it had to be Obi-Wan. He had to know that she saw things beyond herself, that she thought of him every day and maybe, just maybe, she could tell him that she also dreamt of him every night. During the day, it was battles and clones, lightsabers and blaster fire; but at night, it was him. Moments of sneaking affection, fingertips brushing fingertips, late night conversations where no prying eyes could catch them, kisses, soft and sweet and sacred in their secrecy.

When she finally did break contact, flashes of his laughing face being pushed to the side, she looked to Master Yoda. “I love my job, and I love my people, but it eats away at me sitting in that castle instead of being out there.” Her voice shook under the severity of her emotions, the weight of her words and what they meant too heavy to hold steady in front of the audience. “I am absolutely riddled with guilt every time I see a clone fall, or a Jedi get cut down, and I know I can’t save everyone but I know I could do something.”

It had been a long while of Viarruh being the only one speaking, everyone else sitting in silence as she spilled everything that had been occupying her mind for months, so when she finally concluded her speech there was a pregnant pause, a swallowing quiet that left a pit in her stomach. This was it, she had nothing left to add to change their minds, should they send her away with her insane claims and delirious visions. She knew full well how crazy her request was, to want to fight in a war when her days consisted of royalty and sunshine, but it was about doing what was right, not what was easy.

A croaky voice broke the silence, bringing all eyes to a green Jedi huddled in his chair. “Thank you, I do, for coming forward with your visions. Frightening, it is, to share something unknown.” His head bowed slightly, ears moving with him. “Some time, we will need, to discuss things. From the temple, stray not, please.”

Relief, in its purest form, washed over her when his words registered. She was not being sent away with no thought to what she had to say, she was not laughed at for the emotion she showed.

“Of course,” she answered, bowing her head as well. “Thank you for your time. I shall be with General Skywalker in the meantime.” With that, she turned to make her exit, eyes lingering on a copper haired Jedi just a moment longer than they should have before her feet carried her across the room and over the threshold. Behind her, the doors shut and her shoulders slumped, closing her eyes while the sounds of shuffling feet filled her ears.

“Well?” Padme urged, unsatisfied with the lack of information being given.

“They listened to you, didn’t they?” Anakin fired immediately after, and Viarruh was struck with how similar they could be. Two peas in a pod, they were.

The young woman nodded her head, careful to mind the headpiece she wore once it bumped on the wall behind her. “Yes, they listened. No, Obi-Wan didn’t speak to me,” she answered, already knowing those were the two hot questions burning on everyone's minds. “Master Yoda said they would need time to discuss things, and not to stray from the temple.”

“Well, that’s good,” the eldest member of the group pointed out, aged face displaying a hopeful expression. “They could have said no and sent you home, but they’re considering.”

“Ellman’s right,” Padme interjected, face serious now that the first step of their plan was completed. It was only just a day ago that they wondered if they would even be able to do it, and here they were with one foot out the door already. “Now, should they say yes we need to have all of our points laid out for when we speak to the Chancellor. I have everything in my office in the Senate building.”

“I shall accompany you,” Ellman offered, his role as the queen’s main advisor ever present.

“Perfect. Ani, you stay here with Vi while we’re gone, and comm me when they bring her back in.”

“You got it,” he grinned down at her, and her business face melted for just a moment before she had to look away.

“And don’t get into any trouble, you two,” she warned, finger pointed at her husband before going to her best friend.

“Pads, we’re in a sacred temple, what kind of trouble could we possibly find?”

-: ✧

“Is that all you’ve got, Your Majesty?”

Although Viarruh had seen him in her visions, she had never met the young man who had captured her friend’s heart, and so she was not yet prepared for how arrogantly taunting Anakin Skywalker could be. He was caring, that much she could see; he had done his best to help with her pre-meeting jitters and now, was occupying her during her wait at the Jedi Temple. And yet, his voice carried across the sparring room with a challenging lilt curling around the words, solely meant to egg her on.  

“Be careful what you wish for, General,” she warned, eyes bright and sharp and lips pulled into a smirk that only screamed trouble. Her hand shot out and in it formed a staff, appearing in a flash of light right before Anakin’s very eyes, though he still blinked a couple times as his mind attempted to catch up with what had happened. When he finally brought his attention back to the present, he only had moments to duck before the staff made contact with his face. Whatever it was made of, it did not appear to weigh her down as she moved with a frightening grace; and it stood up against a sword meant to cut through anything. She was capable, challenging, even, but she would need more training if she wanted to join them in battle. This was made clear to them both when the match ended with Viarruh’s staff on the ground some feet away from her and the blue blade of a lightsaber pointed right at her throat.

“I suppose you win this round, Skywalker,” she conceded, hands raising in surrender. Just as her opponent went to reply, most likely another boast, he was interrupted by the sound of clapping. Their heads turned in unison, and their eyes widened together just the same. The blade disappeared into the hilt of the saber and the heat fled from her neck, though it returned not a moment later as she registered who she was looking at.

Stood by the entrance was Obi-Wan Kenobi, hands coming down to clasp behind his back. “Impressive,” he mused, and the sound of his voice meeting her ears in person nearly knocked her over, but she remained steady as he started moving towards them. “It seems I taught my padawan well.”

“Yes,” she replied after realizing that Anakin’s silence was a push for her to speak up. “It seems so.” Her eyes cut to the man beside her, and he knew he would be in trouble later.

“And you, Your Majesty, are quite the fighter. I didn’t realize how frightening you could be.” By now, Obi-Wan was in front of the pair, looking at them with crystalline eyes. Viarruh tried not to think about how she looked at the moment; their fight had been long and was easy by no means, and she could feel the sweat gathered on her brow all the more under his gaze. She knew her hair was a mess on her head, having been knotted when she hastily removed the crown, and she didn’t dare look down to see if her dress was crumpled and crooked. She only prayed to Maker that it wasn’t as she stared right back at him.

“It comes in handy,” she quipped, heart skipping a beat in her chest when his smile widened.

The moment, if it could even be called that, was shattered when Anakin finally decided to make his presence known once again. “So, Master, what can we do for you?”

Obi-Wan’s eyes didn’t seem to want to leave the woman before him, but they eventually flicked to his former student, and he had to clear his throat before speaking. “Ah, yes, the Council wishes to speak with you again, Your Majesty.”

“Of course, just let me grab my things and we’ll be on our way,” she smiled, before turning to her new friend. “General, would you please comm Senator Amidala and Advisor Ellman while I speak with the Council?” She had already started to walk away from the men when the answer came, and she did not have to look at him to know he was grinning at her.

“Yes, yes, I can do that, Your Majesty.” She turned to squint at him, hands running through her long strands when, to her horror, he started to walk towards the exit. “I will go do that right now.”

Her fingers forced themselves to resume their movements as she turned away again. She found herself alone with the man she believed to be her soulmate, as if her nerves needed anything else to buzz over. When she did spin around to face him, he was already looking at her. Her cheeks burned even more, but in spite of it she held her hands out, gesturing vaguely to the crown now on her head as she made her way back to him. “Look good?”

Once again, words seemed to stick in Obi-Wan’s throat when her eyes were on him. He stuttered slightly in his reply, and cursed himself silently. “Yes. Looks good,” he nodded, suddenly shy in front of the queen. “To the council room?”

Viarruh was intuitive, and on top of this particularly beneficial trait, she also read people for what they were. Not much got past the Queen of Orret, and so she dared to let herself believe that what she saw was, indeed, true.

Obi-Wan was nervous.

“Lead the way, Master,” she smiled, swallowing her chuckle when she noticed the shade of pink dusting over his cheeks as he led her out of the room.

The corridor was long and dimly lit, the evening sun casting a golden hue across the walls and floors, and though her shoes were the only noise for the beginning of their walk, Viarruh had started to settle into herself; muscles relaxing and mind easing as she felt the warmth of the man next to her. They were not touching, not even close enough to brush arms, but she still felt him. For a moment she wondered if this would only make her miss him more when he was no longer around her, but a small voice in the back of her mind told her she was a fool to think it wouldn’t.

“Your Majesty?”

Her heart still skipped a beat when his accent rang in her ears, but she was no longer fighting for breath and composure. He was comfortable to be around, she had decided.

“Oh, please, Viarruh is fine,” she assured, smiling at him in an attempt to prove to him that it really was fine.

He hesitated for a moment, but not a second later did he nod his head before flicking his eyes over to meet hers. “Viarruh,” he corrected, and oh, Maker, her name had never sounded so pretty. “May I ask you something about your visions? I know you are to speak with the Council about them, but I was wondering if you could tell me when they started?”

“Uhm,” she stalled, remembering back to the first vision she ever had.

She had just settled down in the plush and intricate chair sat at her desk, fully intending to complete some work in the late hours of the night, for something had been nagging her though she could not figure it out. It had kept her awake when she laid down to sleep, and so she had eventually wandered her way around the castle and ended up in her office. But as she reached for the holopad she felt…funny. A feeling washed over her, starting at the crown of her head and showering down to the tips of her toes, and it had happened so fast she hadn’t had any time to react before breath stuck to the back of her throat and eyes glowed bright like the sun that hung in the sky. Her lips were parted but only quiet choking sounds escaped her as her head fell backwards, face pointed to the high ceiling but she was not really looking.

No, her mind was taken over and it was like she wasn’t even in her office anymore. Instead, she was on Coruscant, stood in the darkened bedroom of her best friend. She could not move, she could not speak, only watch as insect-like creatures crawled towards Padme’s sleeping figure. Could only watch as two Jedi burst into the room, blue blade illuminating the darkness as one of them cut the creatures in half.

It ended there, whatever it was that had happened to her. Her eyes slammed shut before snapping open, air rushing into her lungs as she gasped, almost falling forward onto the desk in front of her. With a heaving chest she did her best to push herself up from her seat on shaky arms before she dashed out of the room. Bare feet carried her to the meeting room where she punched in Padme’s comm code, and she anxiously waited for her face to appear in blue, but cried out in frustration when there was no answer.

Worry prickled at every nerve and dread had settled in her feet, making it hard to even move her legs as she rushed to the only room she could think of; Ellman’s. She couldn’t move fast enough, tripping on the ends of her sleep gown numerous times, and she practically flew into his door. She was gasping, mind racing over every possibility as her fists bangs on the door, and she didn’t know how she was still standing by the time the man answered the door.

His eyes were squinted as he tried to make out who was in front of him, and in her frenzy Viarruh almost yelled at him, but there was no time to raise her voice as words spilled out with no end. They were frantic and jumbled together, and it was the alarm bells it set off in his mind that fully awoke him. “Viarruh? Viarruh! What is it?”

His questions fell on deaf ears, and strong hands tightly grasped her shoulders. “Viarruh, calm down! I need you to breathe!” He shook her a few good times, successfully putting an end to the stream of panic falling from the woman’s lips. Her eyes were wide as they finally focused on him, and she was slightly trembling in his hold.

It was a rarity for the queen to get so startled, handling her nerves well on any other day despite the horrors of her childhood, but that was not the case on this particular night. “Vi, what happened?”

“It’s Padme, I—I saw something and when I commed her, she didn’t answer, and—”

“Slow down,” he urged. “What do you mean you saw something?”

“I was in my office, and s—something happened, it was,” she stuttered, shaking her head as she struggled for words. “Do you remember when I told you I had a weird feeling earlier today? I couldn’t sleep, so I went to my office.”

“Was someone in there with you?” He interjected, but she shook her head again.

“No, no, it was just me; but I did see something. It was like…like a vision. I got this funny feeling and then I couldn’t breathe, it was like I was choking on nothing and then I couldn’t see.” Her hands fisted the front of his shirt, words speeding up again the more she spoke.

“You couldn’t see, but you saw something?”

“I’m being serious! It was like—like a vision! I was staring at the ceiling and then something happened to me and it was all gone, all I could see was the vision and I saw Padme!”

Viarruh did not catch on in the moment, perceptiveness dialed down in her vulnerable state, but Ellman seemed to be paying more attention now that she had revealed what she had experienced. His brows were furrowed as her words bounced around in his head, thoughts zooming this way and that as he thought back to when he was working for her mother, and all the things he’d witnessed her do and he remembered visions being one of them.

“What happened to her in this vision?” His voice was low and as serious as could be, no longer high pitched in worry, and in the darkness of the corridor his face was almost grave.

“There was something in her room, and it was crawling towards her while she slept and then two Jedi burst into the room! I tried to comm her when it ended but she didn’t answer, and that only  makes me think something bad really did happen to her! Ellman, what if she’s in trouble? What’s happening?”

“Listen, listen,” he soothed, taking a half step closer. “This is because of your powers. Your mother had visions, but I can only imagine how frightening it was when so unexpected.”

“My mom had them?” she mumbled, wide eyes staring up at the closest thing to a parent she had.

“She did. I don’t know much, unfortunately, but I do know that this was going to happen eventually; you’re far too perceptive and just plain lucky to have it skip you. What it is, well, to my understanding it could be a number of things. The past, things that have already happened revealed to you; the present, seeing things as they happen in real life; and the future, though that is never a certainty. Things change, but you can see these things. Now, what you saw with Padme could be any of those things, I’m afraid I have no answers to give with that, but we will investigate more in the morning. More people are likely to answer our calls, and we will be of sound minds,” he assured, one hand coming up to smooth over the back of her head. “Please, My Lady, let me escort you back to bed.”

“With the assassination attempt on Padme’s life. The one you and Anakin were around for,” she answered, keeping it short and sweet.

“You saw it?”

“I did,” she nodded, fingers playing with the fabric of her dress. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” he dismissed, looking away from her and she had a creeping suspicion that he was not telling the truth. Nonetheless, she nodded her head before allowing herself a moment to take him in. He wore the plastoid armor similar to that of the clone troopers over the top half of his robes, and his lightsaber hung off his waist, shining and magnificent. He was more handsome than any man she’d ever seen in all her life of travels and meetings, negotiations and balls. Stuffy princes didn’t hold a candle to him.

“I see,” she mused, voice verging on playfulness. It was nice speaking to him, actual conversations instead of snippets of exchanges captured in dreams. “Well, let me ask you, do you ever see things?” She glanced over him, brows raised and lips curling upwards.

Her question settled into Obi-Wan’s mind and debated how truthful he wanted to be with his response. All his time and energy went into the Jedi Order, and fighting this war. He was strong with the force and worked to keep his balance, and he was a clever and impressive General in the GAR; but from time to time he saw her. Not often, not as often as she had visions, it seemed, but when he got the rare moment of rest, he could hear her voice and almost make out her face. When in battle, surrounded by blaster fire and chaos, he sometimes felt her presence next to him, swearing he saw her and a warm glow in his peripheral, yet when he risked a glance she was nowhere to be seen. It had started when he overheard her speaking to Padme the morning after the attempt on the senator’s life, voice slightly distorted over the holocall but still ringing pleasantly in his ears.

But was this something he wanted to admit to? Something he wanted to reveal in the corridor of a Temple that frowned upon attachments? But to lie to her, the thought of it made his stomach churn for some reason.

“Yes, I suppose I do,” he settled, voice almost far away. Viarruh tilted her head slightly, contemplating the thoughts behind his eyes before he cleared his throat, seeming to come back to her. “The Force works in mysterious ways,” he nodded, grinning when the woman chuckled.

“That, I can understand. Perhaps you see with more than eyes, just as I do, Master Kenobi.”

“Perhaps,” he agreed, looking straight ahead as he prepared himself for his next comment. “Though I don’t think there is anyone quite like you out there.”

Obi-Wan, while pleasant to be around, was becoming almost flirty. His voice was smooth and his accent curled his words nicely, as sweet as honey. Her heart fluttered in her chest and she could not stop it, could not prevent a full on, toothy smile growing on her face. The doors to the council room were in sight, just up ahead, and she looked as unserious as she could possibly be.

“I think you’re right,” she whispered, turning to face him when they were only a few feet before the doors. “But the same could be said about you.” She cleared her throat, wiggling her arms a little to reset, now looking at her companion with determination. “Wish me luck, I’ve got to speak with the Jedi Council.”

“Now that you mention it, I have a meeting to attend. Good luck, Your Majesty.”

With that, the doors slid open and Viarruh made her way inside the large room once again, the presence of Obi-Wan Kenobi following her. When she reached the middle of the circle, he passed her and settled into his seat, and the added distance between them lessened the ease she had previously felt. Nerves began to settle into her again, as even Obi-Wan’s demeanor changed to that of a more stoic man, a Jedi wise beyond his years sitting amongst the council.

“Your Majesty, we’d like to thank you again for coming to us to speak,” the bald man sat next to Master Yoda began, voice just as serious as it was before. It was difficult to read him as he spoke and she found little comfort in the way his face remained stoney. “The information you presented to us is much appreciated, and has caused lots of discussion within the Council. If you don’t mind, we’d like to ask you some questions.”

“Of course, I don’t mind at all, Master…?”

“Windu, Your Majesty,” he answered, bowing his head.

“Master Windu,” she repeated, nodding her head at him with a small smile. “Ask away.”

“What is your goal?”

Vague. A broad question asked simply and to the point, and it caused the woman to tilt her head ever so slightly. “My goal?”

“Yes. What is your goal in all of this?”

“Well,” she sighed. “Short term, I suppose it’s to convince you all to help me do what I can to join the war,” she gestured vaguely with one arm, holding the other out as she spoke again. “Long term, to do what’s right. To make a difference. To help people. Is that not everyone in this room's goal?”

“We are bound by oath,” came the voice of Master Mundi, interjecting and almost cold. “We are warriors of peace and fight to bring balance back to the galaxy, per our oath to the Jedi Order.”

“I am also bound by oath,” she countered lowly. “I was born into a position of power. I’ve held it all my life, and when I was just fourteen standard years old I obtained the highest rank you could possibly get on most planets. The responsibility may not be the same as yours, but it is a great one nonetheless; to keep people safe, to represent them, to protect them, that is what I do. And the oath I made was to always do what is right, what I need to do regardless of whether it is easy or not, whether it makes sense or not. And the Clone Wars are hurting people, and the Republic’s enemy stands for things that I would rather die fighting than let become the status quo in our galaxy. We may live different lives, Master Mundi, but our goals are very much the same.”

“You are very dedicated to this,” a male Nautolan observed, and all eyes turned to him. “It’s easy to see that this means something to you. I believe you when you say that our goals are the same, but this is still a very unusual situation, Your Majesty,” he explained, frowning slightly towards the end of his sentence.

“It is, I know that,” Viarruh assured sincerely. “But as unusual as it is for you, it is the same for me.”

“Your visions, hear more about them, may we?” Yoda questioned, pointing a clawed finger in her direction.

“What would you like to know?”

“Are they of the future?” Someone else questioned.

“Not entirely,” she answered, shaking her head. “My understanding is that they are things revealed to me because they need to be. It could be something from the past, I can see things as they are happening, and sometimes I do see the future, but you all know as well as I do that the future is never set in stone. Prophecies and destinies aside, seeing a vision of something that should happen doesn’t always mean it will happen.”

“What is the extent of your powers? What can you do, exactly?”

“I can do lots of things,” she chuckled, shrugging her shoulders. “But I already told you that they’re still developing, I still don’t know what the extent is.”

“I saw a demonstration of Her Majesty’s abilities in the sparring room, and it was most impressive,” a familiar voice entered the conversation, backing her up as she stood under the eyes of the disbelieving. Her chest warmed as she caught his eye before they flicked to the next person to speak.

“Sparring room?”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan answered smugly. “Her Majesty sparred with Anakin, and held her own for quite some time. I could only imagine what she would be like with just some formal training.”

Murmurs filled the room, soft and blended together, but she gathered that Anakin being her opponent was the hot topic. “Impressive, that is,” Yoda confirmed. “Needed, a demonstration is, perhaps.”

“I can give you a demonstration,” she promised, hand already coming up to point at the copper haired Jedi. Her palm faced upward, slender fingers curling slightly as she made miniscule movements. At first, no one was aware of what was happening, Obi-Wan being most confused of all, but then he felt a little tug at his belt. He looked down to see his lightsaber moving here and there, before it eventually lifted off his thigh and unhooked from his waist.

His mouth opened in shock, and he didn’t need to look to know he was not the only one, as they all watched his lightsaber float through the air, right into the hand of Viarruh Finnall. She ignited the weapon, blue blade shooting out from the hilt and bathing her in the cool hue. And because she lived for the dramatics, she twirled it around, a move that was like muscle memory to her, the whirring sounds of the energy blade filling the room. When she finished, she retracted the blade and her hand fell to her side.

“While I did lose my fight with Anakin Skywalker, I have won many more. I am not helpless, and I do not give up easily.” Her eyes bore into the council members one by one. “And I am not afraid, I was not built to be and cannot afford to be.” She continued to spin around, intending to make an impression on every person she looked at, and she knew it was successful from the look in each of their eyes. “Sometimes it is not enough to just be against darkness. If you have the ability to, should you not use the light?”

The severity of her tone and words had lodged itself in the chest’s of the Jedi Council, and before them stood not the naive queen they thought was coming to their planet. No, stood before them was Viarruh Finnall, Goddess of the Sun, the Sun Witch, Queen of Orret, in all her wisdom and confidence. She was passionate and unyielding, she was caring, and she was strong. This young woman, whatever she had gone through in her lifetime had made her tough enough to bear the weight of leadership, to dive head first into a war that she was never obligated to join, to look an evil in the face and stand steady against it.  

“If we were to say yes,” Master Windu broke the silence, sharing glances with those around him. “What would be your next course of action?”

It took her a moment to calm herself, dispelling some of the intensity in her words as she turned to look at the man. “Well, should you say yes, I would need to speak with Chancellor Palpatine next. I chose to meet with you first because, although the Chancellor makes the final decisions, having you all to back me up would speak louder to him than I ever could on my own. You, of course, are not obligated to, but it would be most appreciated if I had someone to accompany me to speak with him; and depending on his answer, I will head home,” she explained with a note of finality, clasping her hands in front of her.

“Home?” Master Mundi interjected, leaning forward in his seat.

“Yes,” she answered simply, looking right at him.

“And what do you plan to do about your status as Queen while you fight in this war? You cannot do both.”

“I would give it up.” She stated, in such a way that it seemed the answer was obvious. It did not weigh heavy on her tongue as she spoke matter of factly, though it did put pressure on her chest, bones feeling as if they could cave in. “My birthday is in a matter of weeks, and though it may seem frivolous, celebrations are quite the talk back home,” she explained, flicking some hair over her shoulder as she resumed her movements around the center of the room. “I will use it as my opportunity to announce my retirement from the throne, and present who I have chosen to replace me; her coronation will come only days after. Then,” she shrugged. “I’ll go wherever you tell me to, and I’ll do whatever I can.”

It seemed, for a frightening moment, that she was unable to get through to them. They all stared at her, mouths closed with no intention of opening to speak to her, and her shoulders grew heavy, fighting to slouch forward as the feeling of defeat tickled at her bones. She held her breath, eyes flickering between the men in front of her. Obi-Wan held contact before he looked away, seemingly speaking to Master Yoda without using words, and she clutched the hilt of his lightsaber a little tighter, the metal warm from her hold on it throughout her speech.

As she glanced towards Master Plo, a frown almost dipping the corner of her lips downwards, she missed the nod Obi-Wan sent his elder, and the one following from Mace Windu. Her attention snapped back as a throat was cleared, and eyes had returned to her, though the tone had shifted ever so slightly. Almost indiscernible, it was, but she saw it and dared to let hope bloom in her chest.

“Speak to the Chancellor, we will. Tomorrow,” Master Yoda decided, sliding down from his chair, beginning to make his way towards the woman. “To your home, I will go with you. Train you, I will.” When he stood before her, large eyes gazing into hers, he placed one hand over the other on top of his staff as it stood in front of him and he was the picture of wisdom.

For a moment, she did not have any words. She had said so much since she’d arrived at the Jedi Temple, but now that she finally had an answer from them, she had nothing to offer the Council. She was frozen in her stare with the green Jedi, lips parting ever so slightly as his words rang in her ears. “Thank you,” she breathed, relief making her feel so light it almost lifted her off the ground below. She blinked a few times, gathering her bearings as reality began to set in that she had done it.

“Easy, it will not be, Viarruh Finnall,” he promised, shaking his head.

“The things worth doing usually aren’t, Master,” she replied, when the hole burning into her became too much and she looked up, meeting blue eyes already looking. Obi-Wan smiled at her, blowing his head in a silent congratulations, and she smiled. It was similar to the one he had managed to get from her in the corridor, and her success coupled with just knowing him now made it impossible to stop it.

Master Windu was the next to rise, the others following suit, and the tall man joined them in the middle of the room. “When we speak to the Chancellor tomorrow, you will have our full support. All we ask in return, is that you follow through with your word,” he explained, holding his hand out for her to shake.

When her hand slipped into his, enveloped by the gloved and armored one, a familiar feeling washed over her quicker than ever, and she gasped loudly, drawing the attention of everyone else in the room. Obi-Wan pushed his way to the front, almost overwhelmed from how loud everyone’s voices were once they blended together in panic, before standing beside the woman but she was not seeing him. Her muscles tensed and her back straightened as she went rigid, fingers clamping around Windu’s hand tightly, and he attempted to pull away in alarm; it was a struggle, but he was eventually able to pry himself out of her hold as her eyes glowed brightly. Her brows were furrowed and breath was stuck in her throat and she looked almost pained, and it made Obi-wan’s heart clench in his chest. It alarmed him, how seeing her like this affected him, but there was no time to think about it as his hands grasped her shoulders.

“Your Majesty! Your Majesty!” he called, shaking her slightly but she remained frozen, golden eyes staring past him. Even when he grasped her face in his large hands because the choking sounds escaping her as air tried to fight its way to her lungs were scaring him more, she didn’t see him. His thumbs pressed into her cheeks as he turned her head to face him, almost yelling at her. “Viarruh! Breathe!”

When this very thing happened at home, no one could get through to the woman after her eyes lit up and she stopped breathing; screams and yells falling on deaf ears as her mind was taken over, but as she watched herself creep through the forest with a squad of clones and Mace Windu at her side, a voice echoed from somewhere. Who it belonged to, she could not tell, but it was comforting in its familiarity and lifted the pressure from her chest; everything became clearer as if a layer of dirt and grime had been wiped away, the plastoid armor glinting in the sunlight of the trooper who passed her. Outside of the vision, the blockage was removed from her throat, ripped away as oxygen rushed into her, and light burst out of her.

It was as if they were no longer in the council room, the group of people huddled together now standing in the same forest of her vision. She did not know they were there, could not feel them still, but they saw everything she did as it projected from her. They watched as everyone trekked on, the only sounds being the crunching and rustling of foliage and the sounds of wildlife in the distance; as Viarruh faltered in her step, causing the soldier behind her to bump into her, pushing her forward a few steps. Though, it looked as if she had paid it no mind, instead holding her hands out as if to steady herself, eyes flickering around before landing on the Jedi ahead of her.

And they could only stare as Windu continued on, having not noticed the absence to his left, and Viarruh lurched forward to reach him quicker. “Mace, no!” she yelled, grasping his shoulder to throw his body backwards, pushing him and their squad away from the pressure bomb cleverly disguised; but that also meant she was the closest to the explosion. The onlookers flinched as they were surrounded by heat and light and the deafening blow, watching in horror as the queen flew through the air, rolling backwards when she collided with the ground. She didn’t move much after her body settled, but Obi-Wan could see the way her eyes were blown wide, not seeming to focus on anything as she blinked. She didn’t respond to the calls of her name, not even noticing the people slowly searching for her, the ringing in her ears blocking out everything around her.

It was Windu who found her, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes as he walked up to her. “Viarruh,” he called, and it wasn’t until he saw movement to the side, and turned to see her leg poking through the tall grass. When he stood over her, he cringed slightly at the injuries he could see, and so did everyone else. Blood covered her face, dripping down from her hairline and smearing across her cheeks; parts of her shirt and vest were singed, still smoking, telling them she had burns as well. “Viarruh,” he tried again, and she only looked at him with wide eyes, giving him no indication that she heard him. He reached down with both hands, placing a couple fingers on her cheeks to move her head side to side, inspecting for anything else, and Obi-Wan was relieved to see nothing.

“Come on,” Windu grunted, picking her up and placing her on her feet, slinging an arm over his shoulder as he supported most of her weight. Then, the scene shifted, the same light as before filling the room before it all zapped into Viarruh, hitting her with a force strong enough to push her back a few steps when it collided with her chest, causing her to gasp loudly. Hands reached out to keep her upright, holding her steady on her feet as her eyes snapped shut before reopening, back to normal.

She was panting, gulping air down like she had been drowning, and the first thing she heard when she returned to the present was the worried voice of Obi-Wan Kenobi, his hands on her arms, having been the one to reach out to catch her. “Viarruh, are you alright?”

“That one was different,” she responded, shaking her head as her mind ran a mile a minute.

“Was that a vision?” Windu questioned, leaning closer to the woman.

“Yes,” she nodded, eyes finally raising to meet those of the man that still cradled her. “But it was different, this one wasn’t the same as others.”

“Viarruh,” Obi-Wan called softly. “What do you mean by ‘it was different’?”

“Stronger, it was stronger,” she answered as the group of Jedi began to back away from her, giving her space now that she was back with them. “And I…could hear someone.” It confused her, left her wondering, because she had never heard anyone in her visions like that, never felt anything but alone as she lost control of herself.

“We didn’t hear anyone,” Mundi noted, looking around at the others. “Other than yourself and Master Windu.”

“Wait,” she jerked around, confusion growing more and more by the second. “Did you…did you all see that too?” She was met with nods from everyone, and she could only stand there in a stunned silence as her thoughts ran a mile a minute.

“Viarruh?” Obi-Wan questioned softly after there was still no response from the queen, and turned back around to face him.

“It…projected?” Her face was still twisted in disbelief, the events taking place sprouting question after question in her mind. The man nodded his head to answer her, raising his brows at her tone.

“Is that also newly unlocked?”

She had again looked away from him, eyes staring down at the floor as the dots began to connect, as the answers became clearer. “Yes,” she answered in a dazed voice. “It is.” It was the only reaction she could give him as realization dawned on her, showering over her as her gaze shifted upwards; it focused on the busy planet on the other side of the large windows, the sky turning a pleasant rosy orange as the day settled and plans were now in motion.

all works on this blog belong to hesthermay.tumblr.com: do not copy, repost onto other sites, or claim my content as your own.

[mostthingskenobi]

Here's another quote-post from one of my fan fics. This fic is one of my personal favorites 🤗

Bloody Escape takes place immediately after the Clone Wars episode "Revenge" -- my ALL TIME FAVORITE CLONE WARS EPISODE!!!!!

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Asajj Ventress barely escape with their lives after a dangerous encounter with Darth Maul and Savage Opress. Trapped together in a small shuttle, these one-time enemies must put their differences aside in order to find their way back to civilization. Things get complicated when Ventress realizes Kenobi has been gravely wounded. Will he survive the long journey or will his blood be on her hands?

You can read the fic on AO3 or Tumblr.

[thelovelylolly]

Hello can I request an Obi wan x male/gn reader. Reader is a normal civilian that works as a waiter at Dexs dinner and is in an already established relationship with Obi wan. They keep there relationships secret (because of the Jedi code) so on his breaks he would sneak in the back with Obi wan so they can show each other affection in private. (Takes place during attack of the clones ). Just simple forbidden love fluff kind deal!

On Break

Summary : You use your break time at Dex's diner to sneak out and see your lover. Warnings : none :) Notes : i tried to keep this as gender neutral as possible. also thank you for the request :) (also also this is gonna be short and sweet bc im very tired at the time of writing this and i have to get up early tomorrow)

You had worked at Dex's for a while. You were a good server and got along with the regulars. You got along especially well with a certain regular, Obi-Wan. You tried to treat him normally since your relationship was a secret, and you did your best.

But when you went on break, your attention went straight to Obi-Wan.

It had become your routine. While you worked, Obi-Wan would come in close to your break time. You'd take his order, which was always just a drink, and by the time he was done with it, it was your break time. Obi-Wan would get up and leave, and you'd go on break. You two would meet in the back and spend time together.

Today was like any other day. Obi-Wan came in close to your break time, you got his drink, he finished it right as you went on break and he left.

"I'm going on break, Dex!" You called as you undid your little apron and placed in on a shelf near the back door.

You slipped out the door into the back alley and Obi-Wan was already there, leaning against the opposite wall. "Hello there."

"Hi Obi," you replied, walking over to him and kissing him. Obi-Wan melted into the kiss. His arms went around your waist and yours went around his neck.

You pulled away first, leaning your head on his shoulder and looking up at him. "I missed you," you said quietly.

"You saw me yesterday, dear," he replied with a laugh.

"Yeah, but that's too far apart. I wish we could do this anytime we wanted, anywhere we wanted."

"Me too, but you know we can't risk it."

"I know, I'm constantly reminded."

"Other than that, how's your day been?" He asked, his fingers running through your hair. He always asked you about your day.

"It's been fine. Got a few rude costumers, but nothing I couldn't deal with. How 'bout you?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "I got a new assignment from the counsel. It's gonna take me off planet for a few days."

You pulled away and looked at him. "I thought we were gonna spend my days off together."

"I'm sorry, but I can't change it. I have my duties, but I promise you we'll spend your next off days together."

You still looked upset, causing Obi-Wan to sigh.

"What can I do right now to make it up to you?" He asked.

"I don't know...maybe another kiss would help?"

"You don't have to ask me twice, dear."

[im-a-wonderling]

Rescue Me Masterlist ~ Obi-Wan Kenobi

Summary: Originally the padawan of a Jedi master turned Sith lord, Y/N fumbles her way through the Jedi life as Obi-Wan’s padawan. To her surprise, life as a Jedi holds different lessons and challenges than she originally expected.

Part 1 - 7.5k words

Part 2 - 7.7k words

Part 3 - 8.1k words

Part 4 - 9.8k words

Part 5 - 5.9k words

Part 6 - coming soon

Part 7 -

Part 8 -

Check out my main masterlist for more fanfic!

[queer-irritator]

Masterlist

Arthur Morgan - Red Dead Redemption 2

Deadpool - Marvel

Kratos - God of War

Obi-wan Kenobi - Star Wars

[owkdisabilityexchange]

Hello! Sign-ups for the Obi-Wan Kenobi Disability Exchange are now open!

Guess who forgot to open the sign-up form on time 😅Thanks for your patience, the schedule for the exchange will be adjusted a bit. The sign-up form will close in two weeks, on Tuesday, July 2nd (7/2/24).

This is a disability-positive fic and art exchange created to bring more disabled Obi-wan Kenobi content to the wonderful world of fandom. To participate, you will need a registered account on AO3. If you don't have one, send me a message here and I can get you an invitation to register. If you want to participate as a pinch-hitter or beta-reader, please fill out this google form.

Visit the exchange's AO3 collection to review the rules and FAQ. If you have questions about the exchange or sign-up form in general send an ask here. If you have questions about your specific requests or offers, please use DMs or email owkdisabilityexchange@gmail.com

A few notes about the sign-up form:

-Please read all of the instructions on the form and don't be afraid to ask any questions you have.

-This form uses a tag set to limit the options for the "Additional tags" category on requests and offers. The tag set can be viewed by clicking on "List # Additional tags" under that category, or by visiting the tag set page.

-If the disability tag that you want is not listed, you can nominate a tag by clicking the "Nominate" button at the top of the tag set page. Please allow 24 hours for one of the moderators to approve your tag.

-Please note that you should only include the "Obi-Wan Kenobi" character tag in your prompt if you wish for Obi-Wan to be the only character in your offer or gift. Please also note that the "Description" box in your offers is only meant for DNWs, not fic prompts.

-Tag nominations will close on Tuesday, June 25th (6/25/24)

-Keep in mind that the more obscure the disability, the less likely that it will find a match. Don't let this discourage you, but consider giving at least one request option that has a high chance at matching.

-You must submit 3 requests and at least 3 offers, although up to 5 offers are allowed to facilitate matching. (You are only required to create one fic or art piece).

-You may edit your requests and offers at any time up until sign-ups close.

NEW 2024 Schedule

The new schedule is as follows. Sign-ups are being extended by one week (+ 2 days from original dates), and all other dates are being moved accordingly.

-Sign-ups begin on Tuesday, June 18th and end on Tuesday, July 2nd (6/18/24 - 7/2/24)

-Assignments are sent out Sunday, July 7th (7/7/24)

-Assignments are due Sunday, September 22nd (9/22/24)

-Pinch-hits are due Saturday, September 28th (9/28/24)

-Works are revealed Sunday, September 29th (9/29/24)

[Image ID: A screencap from Revenge of the Sith. Obi-Wan stands in the "Soresu" stance, with his left arm stretched out in front of him, and his right arm holding his lightsaber next to his head, the blade almost parallel to the ground. His mouth is slightly open, and his expression is intensely focused on something off-screen. White text reads, "Obi-Wan Kenobi Disability Exchange". End ID]

[friskynotebook]

You Make It Feel Like Christmas Ch. 5

An Obidala Hallmark Christmas movie rewrite!

CW: age gap, food, grief, injury, concussion

Summary: Padme and the Kenobis take in the Christmas market and share Christmas memories

Also on AO3!

Padme scrunched her nose as she woke, feeling a rough dog tongue licking her face.

“Oh, good morning, Lola,” she giggled, reaching out to pet the puppy. “Good morning, sweetheart. How are you?”

Padme rolled out of bed and dressed, carrying Lola downstairs. Looks like I’m the first one up. Wrapping herself in a blanket scarf she had found in the back of her borrowed closet, she lit a match and started the fireplace.

“Perfect,” she sighed, a smile on her face.

Satisfied with the cozy early morning atmosphere, Padme headed into the kitchen to prepare the coffee as she’d watched Obi-Wan do for the past few days, humming to herself as it brewed.

“Is that coffee I smell?”

Obi-Wan’s voice startled Padme out of her humming. “It is. It’s ready, actually.”

“Lovely,” he replied, watching her pour him a cup. “Thank you, Ami.”

“You’re welcome,” she blushed, pouring her own cup.

“And I see you got a fire started as well.”

“I did,” she nodded. “Cozy, isn’t it?”

“Very,” he agreed. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Leia ran downstairs dressed in a plain green onesie.

“I look like a giant green bean!” Leia wailed. “I’m supposed to be an elf!”

“Oh, Leia,” Padme cooed. “At least you’re a really cute green bean.”

Leia pouted and looked down at her socked feet.

“I think I can help,” Padme said. “I would just need a sewing kit.” She turned towards Obi-Wan, a question in her eyes.

“I think I can find one of those,” he nodded.

##

“Watch your step right there,” Obi-Wan warned Padme, taking her hand and leading her into the dusty old barn.

“Thanks . . . Oh, wow. This is such a beautiful space,” Padme gasped, looking around.

“Oh, thank you,” he demurred. “It’s lovely, isn’t it?”

“It is . . .”

Obi-Wan swallowed. “Satine used to keep her horse out here . . . I’ve been wanting to turn it into an animal hospital for a while now. I’d love it if my clients didn’t have to drive sixty miles to Boulder if their animal needs surgery, you know?”

“That would be great.” Padme walked in comfortable silence with him for a few beats before clearing her throat. “I’ve actually been meaning to ask you about her, about Satine.”

“Oh. Um . . .” Obi-Wan looked down and swallowed. “Well, uh, she passed away a little over three years ago now.” He rubbed his nose, scratched his beard. “Sh-she wasn’t sick for all that long, which is good . . . If anything good could come from that, you know.” He turned away and kept walking.

“I’m so sorry,” Padme murmured. 

“Thank you.”

“But that’s not really what I meant.”

Obi-Wan turned to her, his brow furrowed. “Oh?”

“I actually wanted to hear about what she was like. A memory or something?”

“Alright,” he said, smiling softly. “She would make freshly baked cinnamon bread every weekend for the family. She loved baking . . . We would make sure to spend time together every evening at the end of the day to talk about how things went and to reconnect as a couple. That was very important to us, to do that . . . And she loved Christmas. That was her holiday. She made homemade stockings for the children, handmade ornaments . . .” He swallowed. “She always made sure the children got one present they really wanted and one present she believed would make them better people. And just about every year, the children preferred that present anyway . . . I know this might sound strange, but she had the most wonderful scent. When I woke up in the morning, even before I opened my eyes, I just knew she was there. I knew she was all around me.”

“She sounds like an amazing person,” Padme said, her voice hoarse from disuse. “You must miss her a lot.”

Obi-Wan nodded, unable to speak. He stepped over to a few boxes, starting to dig through them.

“You know,” Padme began. “If you did turn this space into an animal hospital, it would be like you were doing something for Satine, in her memory. Helping animals with this incredible space she loved so much.”

“I’ve honestly never thought of it like that,” he replied. “When you put it like that, it sounds lovely.”

Padme smiled and looked down, letting his praise wash over her.

Obi-Wan pulled a metal tin from a dusty box, smiling at her. “Sewing kit.”

##

“Excited?” Korkie asked his little sister.

“Yep!” Leia beamed, swinging her big brother’s and father’s arms as she walked with them into the Christmas market, showing off her special sparkly elf costume under her jacket.

The family gathered together with the other families as the children gathered on stage for the outdoor Christmas play.

“She’s an elf among green beans,” Obi-Wan murmured to Padme, leaning in close. Padme blushed and opened her mouth to respond when the children interrupted her.

“In Santa’s workshop far away, Santa’s elves work night and day!” Leia grinned in front of her classmates, clearly excited to be wearing such a pretty costume.

“These little elves make video games!” Santa Quinlan announced.

Leia stepped up front. “And these little elves give dolls their names!”

Padme gave Leia a dazzling smile as Obi-Wan surreptitiously went to rub his eye.

“And Santa packs the gifts in his sleigh and takes it to kids on Christmas Day!” Quinlan finished. “Merry Christmas!”

As the crowd started to disperse, Obi-Wan pulled Padme aside. “Her costume really is amazing. I cannot thank you enough, Ami.”

Padme blushed again. Probably just the cold . . . “Oh, I think I might have overdone it a little bit.”

Leia ran over and lept into her father’s arms. “There she is!” Obi-Wan cried as he lifted her up.

“I had the best costume ever!” Leia declared.

“I don’t think Leia minds,” Obi-Wan teased, grinning at Padme. He turned back to his daughter. “You did! Congratulations!”

“Thank you Daddy!” Leia clung to his neck. ##

Later that evening, the family was walking through the market, twinkling Christmas lights dancing through the crisp winter air as their boots trudged through the snow.

“Who wants hot chocolate?” Obi-Wan asked the children.

“Me!” They all cheered.

“Me too!” Obi-Wan grinned. “Want one?” he asked Padme.

“Oh no,” she replied. “I ate, like, half a turkey.”

Obi-Wan chuckled. “We’ll be back. Korkie, help me bring them over?”

“Okay!” Korie said, taking his father’s hand as they walked off.

“Ami!” Mace and Depa came over to Padme, Luke, and Leia.

“Oh hi!” Padme greeted them. “Enjoying the market?”

“It’s wonderful—one of my favorite parts of the season,” Depa replied.

“Listen, Ami, I wanted to talk to you about your car,” Mace said. “We’ve been combing the woods looking for it, and I think we’re finally closing in on it.”

“How have you been feeling?” Depa asked.

“Oh, I . . .” Padme trailed off as she glanced over to where Obi-Wan and Luke went in search of hot chocolate—only to find Obi-Wan going for a polite kiss on the cheek and Siri pulling him in for a more passionate kiss.

Before she even realized what she was feeling, her heart sank. Why do I feel so . . . despondent? He can kiss whoever he wants. He doesn’t owe me anything.

Padme tried to not let her disappointment show on her face. “I’m feeling much better these days,” she replied. “Must be the mountain air.”

Obi-Wan and Korkie returned with the hot chocolates, just in time for the tree lighting.

“Three, two, one!” The crowd chanted, cheering when the Christmas tree in town square was lit up in all its glory.

##

“They are out,” Obi-Wan said as he came into the living room from putting the children to bed. “Must have been all the sugar.”

He sank down on the couch next to Padme. “Are you alright?” he asked. “You’ve been awfully quiet since we left the market.”

Padme sighed. “Look, Obi-Wan, I have to tell you something. I’m having the time of my life with you and your kids—at least as far as I know—I think I should find another place to stay because . . . I don’t want to be selfish and come between you and Siri.”

Obi-Wan furrowed his brow. “What?”

“I saw you and her in the square kissing when you went to get hot chocolate.”

“Oh!” Obi-Wan chuckled. “No, Ami, it’s not like that at all—”

“I get it,” Padme continued. “I mean, I just fell out of the sky like some crazy snowflake with no memory. There’s a whole world here that I’m not a part of, and I get that—”

“It wasn’t a real kiss,” Obi-Wan interrupted.

Padme looked taken aback. “It looked like a real kiss . . .”

“Well it was a kiss, but it was because of the mistletoe,” Obi-Wan explained. “She held a mistletoe over my head and I wanted to give her a kiss on the cheek to be polite, but she, well, went further than I was comfortable with.” He cleared his throat.

Padme frowned. “Are you alright?”

Obi-Wan looked up from his lap. “Hmm?”

“Are you alright?” she repeated. “She forced you into something you didn’t want, only to make it worse by crossing your boundaries even further—and she did it in public in front of Korkie because she knew you wouldn’t want to make a scene in front of him. It couldn’t have been easy for you, Obi-Wan. Are you okay?”

Obi-Wan swallowed, his features softening. If Padme didn’t know better, she’d think he looked touched. “Better now that I’m home in front of the fire,” he smiled.

After a beat, he continued. “We did go on a date, once. But it was so . . . wrong.  It didn’t feel right. She force-fed me some of the most slimy tofu I’d ever had.”

Padme gave him a small smile. “For what it’s worth, I’d never make you eat slimy tofu. Anyone who makes slimy tofu should not be allowed anywhere near a kitchen.”

He laughed. “Ami, Christmas has not been the same around here for a few years now, and having you here with us . . . You’ve made it feel special.”

“Really?” Padme asked, her voice soft.

“Really. And you are a part of this family—I mean, part of this world, here in Salida,” he quickly corrected himself. “I know you’re part of another world and we’ll figure out where that is but until we do . . . What I’m trying to say is we’d love to have you stay here with us.”

She beamed at him, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“Daddy! Daddy! Can you bring me water? I’m thirsty!” Leia called.

Padme raised her head. “Duty calls?”

Obi-Wan stood, a wry grin on his face. “Duty calls.”

No-pressure tags: @saradika @obiknights @justsaysomethingjayj @cypanache @alabama-metal-man @vic3456 @darlingamidala @celestial-alignment @your-dose-of-obidala @written-musings @fearless-too-and-stubborn

[agirlunderarock]

OF AGONY AND HOPE

Story Summary: sith!Obi-Wan au, in which Sas was able to fly Padme to safety and deliver her children but at the cost of losing the man she loved. Five years have gone by since the fall of Republic, since the fall of the Jedi Order, since Sas said goodbye to the man she loves. Since then Emperor Palpatine has brought in new enforcers; Lord Vader his right hand, and Grand Admiral Abusivus a man Sas refuses to admit bares any resemblance to Obi-Wan Kenobi even when he stands right in front of her.

Pairings: Obi-Wan X Sas Vom (OC)

Chapter 3: Proposals

Chapter Summary: Sas is called into Grand Admiral Abusivus' office

Previous Chapter

Warnings: N/A Honestly its not violent or anything yet so like? Just know the general warning is that I fell asleep while typing this several times. I live and die by those typos. This story is basically lovers to enemies to lovers so make of that what you will?

Read on AO3

The Meeting room was too loud.

Despite the quiet murmurs of the Imperial Officers in the room, Brisa felt as if they were all shouting in her ears, looking at her assessing her. Under normal circumstances she could tune it out, ignore them, carry her head high and walk out without sparing anyone a single glance.

Her heart beat was too loud.

She didn’t register when the switch happened, only that she felt far away from the room itself. There was too much going on. Grand Admiral Abusivus was giving her directions, that much she was aware of. What those directions were specifically she couldn’t say. The pounding of her heart beat was slowly replaced by officers slowly filing out of the room, their footfalls echoing off the sleek walls of the war room like cannon blasts going off in Brisa’s ears. The lights were too bright. Harsh glares reflected off every surface straight into her eyes. Even Captain Dirgo’s pointed stare seemed to carry the  weight of the cold reflective surfaces that lined the doorway.

Sas didn’t remember following Grand Admiral Abusivus. Her world stopped spinning the moment her eyes met his burning yellow irises. Yet, she noted the way the Grand Admiral walked just a step ahead of her, his broad shoulders blocking most of her view of the hallway. In the back of her mind she could hear the faint echo of his words, “We best discuss the expectations for your position in my office.”

Was that where he was leading her? Sas couldn’t even be sure he had really even said those words. The back of her hand still burned with the warmth of his breath, but if she were being honest Sas couldn’t say whether or not she wanted to put the fire out.

Be mindful of your feelings, they can betray you.

Sas could hear Obi-Wan’s voice echo in her head, and despite the warmth in her chest at the memory of all the times he had said that to Anakin, she felt fear crawl its way into her throat. She couldn’t focus, the world still spun, but felt as if she were flying through a dust cloud. She couldn’t trust her own thoughts, her feelings. The Grand Admiral could and would manipulate them, if he hadn’t already. He knew the easiest ways to access her mind, he knew every feeling, thought and desire she had. 

The sudden realization that she was about to be captured, questioned and tortured, had Sas’ stomach churning. She had to get to her apartment, she had to get a message out, call for an extraction.

“At ease Captain Brisa,” The Grand Admiral’s command pierced the fog. Sas blinked as her body automatically relaxed its stance, feet shoulder width apart and her hands behind her back. "I assume you understand why I've brought you here," he finished. 

Truthfully Sas was trying to figure out what was more disturbing to her, that her body didn't hesitate to act on his command, or the way he didn’t tear his gaze away from her. She hadn't even fully processed that she was standing in his office. Whatever challenge he had issued her and whatever composure she had mustered up in the presence of her fellow officers, dissipated in the cold tension between them now.

Sas slowly scanned his office. Of course it was pristine and organized. She expected nothing less. She was, however, surprised by the amount of objects on display. Not that he wasn't sentimental in the past, but each object was placed purposely, deliberately within view of her standing position, not the person who would normally be sitting at the desk. These objects weren't just for decoration, he was sending a message. A small statue of a Twi'lek seemed to glare at her from its pedestal in front of a large painting of a familiar Alderaan mountain pass. The statue bared a striking resemblance to one she had seen in the home of Eleni Syndulla, during a rather melancholy feast. It looked over them while they celebrated a Republic victory on Ryloth. Sas couldn’t force herself to focus on the painting behind it. She tried to focus on the other side of the room. In front of another painting, stood a sculpture of a four legged beast of burden that was native to Onderon. The same kind of creature she and Obi-Wan had ridden into the Separatist filled city with Steela and her freedom fighters. Something twisted painfully in her chest.

“Forgive me,” Brisa answered, her voice sounding much weaker than normal. “I assumed we were going to discuss my expectations for my new assignment.” 

“Most of your duties are outlined in the entry log-” He paused abruptly, looking right through Sas before his eyes settled on her again. “But you’re already well aware of those duties aren’t you?” Abusivus moved to stand in front of his desk, right in Sas’ line of sight. He absolutely knew who he was speaking to. There was no way around it.

“Sir, I’m not sure I understand-”

“You need not continue your act,” he said calmly, though Sas could easily detect the tension in his voice. “No one else is listening right now.” Five years apart and he could still read her without trying. Then again, she supposed that it was easy to read her when he had the ability to directly feel what she was feeling and could purposely tamper with her thoughts and emotions. That was the only way to explain the black hole that erupted in her chest. She felt heavy and empty all at the same time, like she would fall right through the glossy white floors, the rest of her memories and feelings drawn into her void.

Sas kept her eyes focused on the portview behind him, just over his shoulder. It was the only way she could look at him without having to actually look at him. She heard him breathe out slowly, his shoulders tensing and then falling ever so slightly, as if he were gripping something. If she had the nerve to look up at his face she was sure she’d find his auburn brows furrowed low over his eyes. She tried not to picture the expression, yet the memories of all the times she pressed her lips to his forehead, just between his brows, came rushing back to her.

She couldn’t trust those memories.

Sas was very aware of how he could manipulate her thoughts. Even though she didn’t feel the odd pressure around her head that came when someone was attempting to manipulate her through the force, she couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t. He knew her mind better than anyone, possibly even more than her own sister. At one time she had trusted him with her life, her dreams, and her secrets. She trusted him to love her as she was, to accept her past, and understand what she expected in their future. There was absolutely nothing she could hide from him. She needed to look elsewhere.

Everywhere she looked was a reminder of their shared past, of how he'd thrown everything they fought for away. Even if he wasn’t using the force, Abusivus was finding other ways to manipulate her.

 Sas’ eyes burned with unshed tears, and her throat closed. She couldn’t breathe. If she had been a weaker woman, she might have fallen to her knees, even clutched at her aching chest. Sas didn’t understand how her chest could feel so hollow and yet feel so tight. She couldn’t tell if this was her own body betraying her or if this was his doing. “Sir-” She croaked. Even to herself her voice sounded brittle and weak. She couldn’t break in front of him. Abusivus could undoubtedly feel what she was going through, she couldn’t let herself be so openly vulnerable with him.

The Grand Admiral moved to stand directly in front of her, his shoulders and the hot tears stinging her eyes obscuring her view. He hadn’t touched her, not even with the force, and yet the fire that burned under her skin and caught in her throat was his doing. He betrayed her, their friends, and their family. 

“Why did you bring me here?” Sas demanded in a whisper. She kept her hands clasped together behind her back, worried that her hands would shake, that her whole body would tremble if she wasn’t careful. “Just tell me what you want and get this over with.” 

“Sas,” his voice was soft, just as quiet as her own as he stepped closer to her.

A blaster shot to the chest would have burned less. This wasn’t the voice of the man who addressed the Imperial officers just a few moments before. This was the voice that whispered to her in stolen moments between missions. This was the voice that teased her behind closed doors, told her she was loved, that she was worth more than what she could provide to others. This was the voice that comforted her in dreams, and she missed more than anything in the galaxy. A voice she thought she’d never hear say her name again.

 His gloved hand reached out to her cheek, gently brushing away her tears. “I thought you were dead…” His other hand came up and cupped her cheek, before he leaned down to press his lips to her forehead.

Every fiber in Sas’ body screamed at her to push him away. That this man helped the Empire conquer the people they swore to protect, and yet she could only stand frozen in place. Her heart hammered quickly in her chest. The familiar feel of his breath dancing over her skin sent a tremor through her body. The tickle of his beard against her forehead was enough to make her eyes slide close. For five years they'd been apart, grown into different people and yet this simple action sent her right back to the quiet nights they spent on her ship.The back of her hand, the one he kissed just moments before, still felt heavy with the weight of his kiss.

Sas had thought the black hole had been in her chest, that every memory  she’d had of him was being dragged in to try to fill its void. With his admission, she realized that he was the point of gravity in the room. No matter how many reminders screamed at her to wake up to reality. She should be angry, had every right to shove him away but instead she found the ache in her chest soothed by his closeness. She could pretend  that this was just another quiet night on her ship. That he had been away on a long mission and was tiredly pressing kisses to her head. As always he would be hesitant to hold her, but he would hold her, assure her that he was safe. She could pretend that they never lost each other, that they didn’t lose so much more. All she had to do was keep her eyes closed.

Gradually her body relaxed and her arms fell to her sides. If these were going to be her last moments, Sas almost wanted to just let herself enjoy his touch. She could pretend that he was the man she loved. Just one last stolen moment before it all came crashing down. After all that was how they loved each other best, when the galaxy was collapsing around them. What made this time so different?

Be mindful of your feelings, they can betray you.

Sas took a deep breath. Those thoughts could not be her own. As tired of the fight and hiding as she was, Sas could not give in to those feelings she had. She had to get back home call for an extraction. That had to be her priority. Her thoughts and feelings were not her own while the Grand Admiral was around.

Slowly opening her eyes, Sas moved her head a little away from him and looked up at him expecting to see the burning amber eyes of the man in the meeting room, but instead she only found relief relaxing his face and closing his eyes. Again she could feel her resolve slipping, and again she recalled  the memory of the times she and Obi-Wan would meditate together. Some of the jedi teachings were starting to make a lot more sense to her. She had to let go of those memories, and the ache in her chest. She took another deep breath. Abusivus may look like the man she loved, but that man never escaped Mustafar; he died there, and there was no going back.

She forced herself to look away.

Behind him, on the desk, was a large piece of stone propped up on a display frame, a familiar swirl etched into its surface. It was one of the crests from the Mobari temples on Zolan, from her home. The red stony clay marked the stone as not from the temple in the capital city, but the carvings along the rocky cliff overlooking the ocean. He had been to her cliff side city, her home. Sas couldn’t help but wonder if this had been before or after the blockade was put around her planet. Her gut told her that he only could have taken the carving after it was in place.

A new spark caught fire in her chest, this one white hot and explosive. She breathed in deeply, holding her breath for a moment and letting her anger chase the longing from her heart. It didn’t matter what Abusivus could make her feel, he wasn't Obi-Wan. He might have his voice, his mannerisms, and appearance, but Sas knew better than anyone that a convincing disguise did nothing to hide whoever was underneath it. She had learned that lesson the hard way. 

It didn’t matter when Abusivus took the crest from her home world. None of that mattered. Their history didn’t matter. What mattered was that Sas had people depending on her. Padmé, Jankari, and Pyrrha were depending on her to gather as much Imperial intelligence as she could. Abusivus was just another obstacle in her way. She just had to hang onto her anger long enough to leave the office.

Letting out a breath, Sas raised her hands to his wrist and slowly lowered them away from her face. 

“Darling-” he started. She hadn’t realized she was trembling until he stiffened under her touch, there was no doubt he felt the shift in her mood. Another deep breath and she steadied her hands. “What are you-?”

“Please don’t call me that,” Sas answered as evenly as she could. She could hear the waver in her voice and told herself it was anger. It wouldn’t be good to have Captain Brisa leaving the office in such an emotional state, even if Sas was struggling between giving in to his gravity, or letting her rage devour her. Either one would make it more difficult for Sas to leave the building alive.

Abusivus pulled his hands away from hers then and straightened up. Sas didn’t meet his gaze. “I’m sorry,” he answered, even managing to sound genuine. “I- I missed you.”

There was another blaster bolt to her chest. She took another deep breath, the words I missed you too nearly choking her as they fought to leave her lips. Instead she looked to the Onderon statue, the Twi’lek figure, the stone crest on his desk. She tried to imagine the dirt under her finger tips, imagine the circumstances where he took those things as prizes for his conquests. She could harden her despair, she had to. She had to go home and call for an extraction.

“I saw you crash…I thought I lost you” He started again. 

“You did. Four years ago.” She finally met his gaze. Part of her hoped she would find the clear blue eyes of the man that she adored, but still she was met with cold amber eyes, his brows furrowed low over them. 

“Sas-”

“Tell me you didn’t have anything to do with the blockade around Zolan. Tell me you didn’t attack my home!”

Silence fell heavy between them. Abusivus loomed over her, his jaw clenching as his gaze hardened. Sas wanted to strike him, demand an answer, instead she let herself feel the sting of his betrayal as she dug her nails into her palms in a tightly clenched fist. Whatever comment he had been about to make was lost under the weight of her demand. Sas had seen the look before. When he was choosing his words carefully. She was an enemy now, and she knew well enough how Abusivus used to negotiate with his enemies. The only reason he was paying her this decency was likely for the sake of their past relationship. He took a step away from her, nine years of war suddenly seeming to weigh down his shoulders as he leaned back against his desk.

“Perhaps I wouldn’t have needed to take such measures, if I did not have to clean up after your messes,” Abusivus said at last as he stroked his beard.. 

That was worse than a blaster shot. A tremor ran through her as she tried to make sense of his comment. “You just said you thought I was dead.”

“I did. When I first caught your trail, I wasn’t so sure-”

“What trail? Nothing has happened-”

“Does a missing intelligence officer on Onderon sound familiar, it should.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh then perhaps on Naboo? Ryloth? Or maybe the ambush on Jabiim sounds familiar? It goes without saying that many troopers and agents went missing in the early days. If Saw Gerrera, or Cham Syndulla picked off  a few agents during an investigation, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise.”

Sas held her breath. She knew exactly what missions he was referring to. She hadn’t stayed in Imperial Intelligence for so long without avoiding combat zones and running into old faces. Each that he referenced however weren’t exactly huge blows to the Empire. She had been sure about that.

“It's incredible really that an officer not trained for combat could survive so many large scale skirmishes, but you seem to be at the center of each one. Of course when I first started looking into these encounters I thought we just had a very lucky officer on our hands, that perhaps we just kept sending in one of our best as she’s proven to get results. It’s not unheard of, after all.”

There was nothing Sas could do but stand and listen. Her lungs ached with every word she wanted to shout at him. She could just walk out. That would be the smart thing to do. She could walk out, be careful that no one followed her home, and hope that Crix could call an extraction for her before it was too late. She couldn't leave just yet though. Sas couldn’t break down and she couldn’t storm out, she still had people depending on her.

"There were two conclusions I could have arrived at, this of course after conducting my own investigation," Abusivus continued. “The first was that Rola Brisa was indeed just a fresh face and eager to prove herself. The second was much more fantastical, however there was no record of anyone recovering your body from the temple, and yet you had been reported as killed in action. I’m guessing someone, probably yourself, made sure that information was in the databases. There was even speculation that you had something to do with the death of Senator Amidala. Though, with you being here, I’m guessing that she and her children are alive and well.”

 Sas stayed silent, not wanting to confirm or deny any of what he was beginning to realize. Maybe he already knew, or had always known. She wasn’t sure she really wanted to think about how long he possibly suspected she was hiding in Imperial ranks.

 He paused for a moment studying her, as if for a moment she was one of the trophies in his office he could turn and examine however he pleased. She supposed she was in a lot of ways, though that was hardly a reassuring thought. "However, that isn't what I wished to discuss, not now anyway," he said seemingly more to himself than to Sas. “Against my better judgment I looked into the fantastical option. There was something…comforting in knowing you were still carrying on this pointless crusade-”

“Stop, just stop!” The words burst from her. “Just stop talking!” Sas squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t listen to him say that. She couldn’t talk about this. None of it made sense to her. She couldn’t believe it was all for nothing, that his friends, his people died for nothing. She felt the tears spill over her cheeks, and she took a deep breath trying to focus on the pounding of her heart in her ears. She needed to control herself. If she shifted now, she’d never leave his office alive.

“I’m sorry-”

“Are you going to kill me?” Sas cut him off. 

He crossed his arms over his chest, his pristine uniform seeming more like restraints as he stroked his auburn beard. “Why would I do a thing like that?”

Sas still didn’t look in his eyes. “You did just tell at least a dozen Intelligence Officers to report to you if they found out anything about me.” She didn’t like this game. She just wanted him to be straightforward with her. 

“Ah, I supposed that would be your natural conclusion.”

Sas gritted her teeth. For just a moment she had been willing to pretend that the man in front of her could make her feel whole again, that she could somehow look past the situation they found themselves in. Something in the casual tone he used to answer her made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

“Then what the fuck do you want from me?” She said at last. 

Abusivus’ lips quivered upward briefly as if he were amused by her question. He stroked his beard once, then twice, letting the silence stretch on between them.

“Can you just get on with it-?”

“Patience,” he said, the small grin still in place. “Forgive me for wanting to pick my words carefully before I make a proposal.”

Sas hated the way he said that. She knew he phrased it that way on purpose. Five years apart and he was trying to get under her skin in the worst ways possible. She crossed her arms over her chest. It was the only way to hold herself back from slapping him across the face. Not even when he had been a Jedi did he ever joke about that. While she always knew a marriage and a life after the war together was never in their future, she never would have thought it would have come to this conclusion. They were on opposite sides of the war now, and he had thrown away everything they had fought together for. Somehow he still had the nerve to make jokes about a proposal.  

“Just spit it out,Traitor,” Sas said at last, her body trembling with the build and mixture of emotions warring inside her chest.

“Oh no my de-” He stopped himself and shut his amber eyes tightly for a moment before continuing. He let out a breath. “You understand that I found you, right? Had anyone else had the sense to dig deeper they would have found you. If anyone else found you, you'd already be in an interrogation chamber.” He said, his tone almost seeming annoyed, but his brows had that little furrow they always got when he was thinking hard about something.

 Had he not cut her so deep, she might have felt sympathy for the brief hint of anguish that crossed his features. She might have even taken his warning seriously. But this was Abusivus, not Obi-Wan, and Sas wasn’t going to let him make her feel so vulnerable again. She kept Brisa’s face in place, watching him with serious but tired green eyes.

Abusivus continued when there was no answer. “I can petition to have you cleared of any charges, Sas. You wouldn’t need to disguise yourself any longer-”

“So what's stopping you? Shouldn’t be difficult for someone like you.” All he was offering was empty promises. Once upon a time they had sworn to each other that they wouldn’t do such things to each other.

“Might I ask what information you’re specifically looking for at this time? Obviously you’re spying for someone.”

“I’m not feeling inclined to share that.”

“I should have guessed as much.”

“Is that all you wanted from me? To figure out who I’m working with and what they want? I would have thought a sith lord would have had a more tempting offer than to just clear my record.” Each word felt like a crack forming in a pressurized tank. She felt too many things, but he needed to know how he hurt her. What he was doing to her. She needed to relieve some of the pressure.

The faintest hint of a smile came to him. “I believe you’ve turned down better offers with much less at stake. You must forgive me for that very poor attempt.”

“I don’t have to forgive you for anything.”

Again the Grand Admiral shut his eyes for a heart beat too long. “I don’t suppose you do, and I should understand why. It is a shame it has come to this.”

“I’m not so sure it would have ended any better for us in another life,” Sas answered simply. She would have preferred it wasn’t this one, she would have preferred an ending where she died before having to know how wrong things truly went.

“I like to imagine there is at least one reality where we end up happy.”

“You’re purposely trying to distract me. Just  tell me what you want or kill me.”

“Sas,” he started again, and for a moment she caught a glimpse of the man who lit up her world and kept her going during the clone wars. The one who kept her safe and made her feel loved. “I need your help. I can’t do this without you.” He looked to something behind her for just a brief moment and she got the feeling they were running out of time. “What if I told you, that your perception is flawed? ”

“What if I told you, I’d rather get back to work,” Sas answered. She still had people waiting on her, but she was going to be more careful about her words. 

If she were being honest with herself, and she was very worried that she couldn’t be in that moment, something about his tone sounded familiar. He was asking her for help, but she wasn’t sure what exactly he needed help doing. He said her perception was flawed. She could only assume that things weren’t quite what she was expecting them to be. He hadn’t killed her yet so that at least was a good start. There was more to it though. 

Sas turned away from his gaze. Hanging on the wall next to another painting of the Naboo countryside, was something that looked like some kind of schematic. The longer she looked the more the halls looked like tunnels twisting and knotting underground. She blinked and it hit her. It was the layout for a Geonocian factory.

Abusivus’ offer reminded her of the one Count Dooku made him nearly ten years ago when they had been captured on Geonosis. Dooku had told the truth then. Maybe Abusivus was telling the truth too. Maybe he hadn’t really fallen.

She looked back to the Grand Admiral. The corners of his lips pulled upward ever so slightly. 

Perhaps Abusivus planted that thought in her head. There was only one thing to do; be smarter than Obi-Wan had been when faced with this same choice.

“I want the clean slate, pay raise, no questions asked, and I’ll do whatever you need me to,” Sas answered at last.

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As always thank you for reading! I hope you are enjoying this story so far! It was meant to just be a one shot and has taken on a whole life of its own lol And like always, likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated! Thank you for the love on the last two chapters!

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