murdockussy

[murdockussy]

hi! i don’t actually have an ask i just wanted to say that i love your writing and you’re doing a great job! i love you very much and you matter and your posts often make my day!! OKAY YEAH :p BYE

I’ll literally cry rn, your love and support means the world thank you SO MUCH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! MWAH <3333

[murdockussy]

Could you do an enemies to lovers one shot where obi has been in love with the reader for a while but she doesn’t know it?

And I wouldn’t mind some spice please hehe

AHHHH this request is perfect!! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write this one up, but I hope you enjoy reading it!!

(I am open to taking any requests, head to my masterlist to read more about it :))

Room 24

Angsty, smutty lil Obi Wan Kenobi x Reader enemies to lovers one shot where he fell for the reader first!

Warnings: a little arguing here and there, but we love a jealous Kenobi moment

Words: 8,900ish

If you could gather every emotion you felt towards Obi Wan Kenobi, you were almost certain you’d be left with a burning heap of seething hot hatred – almost. 

Ever since your first interaction all those years ago, you - young and naïve, heart hammering in your chest as were introduced to your peers inside the Jedi Temple for the first time, and him – a lean short haired boy with platted stand of hair falling down his neck, disapproving stare watching your ever move as you were welcomed into the group of young Jedi’s– you knew that Obi Wan Kenobi was going to be anything but your friend. 

The more time you spent around him, the more you were able to register his arrogance. How he always stuck to his allegiance, leaving little room for mistakes. Before you, he was always top of the class, earning the position of one of the most skilled and wise Jedi’s for his age, but all that changed the day you arrived on Coruscant.  

Although you were slightly younger than your peers and were considerably inexperienced, you refused to let that stop you, you using your gifted skills to quickly climb to the top, soaring above those who’d been in the same field as you for far longer than you have.  

And that angered Obi Wan to no extent. The same Council members who once showered him with endless praise, bringing him alongside missions that were far out of the league of his peers, were now giving you – someone who just less than a year prior had no knowledge of what a Jedi even was – the same treatment. 

He couldn’t understand how you did it, and for that his hatred towards you grew. Sure, you were skilled, you could yield a lightsaber well, your aim with blasters was precise, and your bond with the force was as strong as his, but how you were able to achieve his level of expertise in the time you’d been there left him baffled.  

As the years passed, you grew to know each other quite well – you know what they say, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. You’d keep a close eye on him during missions, watching the muscles on his arms flex as he’d wave the glowing saber in defense, face stern and focused, and in return, he’d do the same, studying the patterns of your fighting style, the way your chest heaved as the loose strands of hair would cascade onto your face with each spin and duck.  

You both unraveled each other's perks and quirks and seen one another in the best and worst of times, yet no matter how well one of you knew the other, the hatred was always there, evident and unwavering, you both making it known to each other that hate was the only emotion you held for one another – nothing else. 

And it always remained that way... that was until Obi Wan came to the realisation that maybe his feelings were a masquerade for something much deeper 

On a night when the moons shone brightly above the Jedi Temple when half of the Council returned from an off-planet meeting, Obi Wans Padawan Anakin was solemnly waiting for his Master's return in their shared apartment when a sudden uproar caught his attention. He traced the shouting to the entrance of the room, opening the door of their living quarters to find his Master and yourself standing opposite one another, an angered expression mirrored on both of your faces. 

“... If you hadn’t been so selfish, I could’ve taken him out with ease” you shouted, one hand resting on your hip while the other poked at Kenobi’s chest. 

“With ease? I’m starting to believe your delusions have reached new heights, because from my memory, they had you tied up to a post, wi-” 

“But I got out! Freed myself! Something you would’ve seen if you weren’t so preoccupied trying to be the hero – again!” 

“There’s a difference between trying to be a hero, and actually being one, something you wouldn’t kno-” 

As amused as he was, Anakin stepped out of the doorway, yourself and Obi Wan falling silent once the Padawan made his presence known. Greeting yourself and his Master, he leant against the wall beside you both with a playful grin. 

“If you wish to continue, I'd suggest taking this indoors. People do want to get some sleep at night, believe it or not” 

Just as Obi Wan began to scold his Padawan, you interrupted, your feet dragging you backwards slowly as you spoke, “No need. It’s pointless trying to get through to him anyway. Goodnight, Anakin” 

Pushing past the young boy beside him, Obi Wan walked through the entrance of his home, his blood boiling as he stormed towards the loungeroom, seating himself on the couch as his head fell into the palms of his hands. 

Anakin wasn’t far behind, him resting on the arm of the opposite couch from the one Obi Wan was seated on, the amusement evident in his voice as he broke the silence. 

“Well... that was interesting” 

“Not now Anakin!” 

“Hey, I haven’t done anything wrong, Master. If anything, you should be thanking me. It really was quite the disturbance you both were causing out the-” 

“I said not now! I’ve had enough of this for tonight” 

“She really knows how to get under your skin, doesn’t she? I’m starting to think she’s worse than me” 

“Anakin” Obi Wan warned, his head lifting from his hands to stare at the boy before him. 

“You’re always together. Always arguing. And you both get so riled up with one another. It’s as if you’re... like you’re couple that’s been in a marriage for all your life” 

“I’m being quite serious Anakin, if you don-” 

“It seems as if you're so disapproving you are of her. Which is strange because she’s good at what she does. She’s a great Jedi. Maybe you’re just jealous of her-” 

“Anakin, that’s en-” 

“Or maybe you’re in love with her, that could be it too” Anakin joked, a snort of laughter escaping his lungs. 

Without saying another word, Obi Wan rose from his seat, brushing past the boy who had broken out in a fit of laughter, breathy apologies falling from his lips as he watched his Master disappear into his bedroom, where he wouldn’t appear from until the next morning. 

Yet that night, Obi Wan barely got a wink of sleep, his heart hammering endlessly in his chest as Anakin's words combined with ghostly images of you swirled around his thoughts, the realisation of the truth within Anakin's lighthearted words haunting him till the sun rose the next day.  

All this time Obi Wan was wrong. His deep-rooted obsession with you, his need to watch you whenever you’re within his vision, his desire to hear the rise of your voice when he pushes your buttons - he buttons only he knew how to push – wasn’t from a place of hatred. No, it was from a place of love. All this time he’d loved someone he swore to be his own personal enemy. 

Yet, he refused to cave into his emotions. Keeping the guarded front of hatred up whenever you were near.  

He repeatedly told himself it was because loving someone was against the Jedi code. That if he followed the true desires of his heart, everything he worked so hard for would be torn from him instantly. He’d have no purpose, no guidance, no home. And for that, resenting you somehow became easier, because he wouldn’t allow you to take that all away from him. But deep down, in a place he struggled to keep hidden, he was terrified of your true emotions, that if you were to reveal his true desire for you, you’d reject him, using his one weakness – his emotions for you - against him.  

And for that, he kept up the false front, his behavior towards you unwavering, because hating you was far easier than loving you.  

However, sometimes he didn’t have to continuously remind himself of that fact, Anakin's suggestion of you getting under his skin an obvious truth as he lost sight of you, his vision darting in each direction as he spun himself in a full 360 in the middle of the busy pathway. 

Obi Wan and yourself were currently paired together on an assignment, one that could've been easily palmed off to Kenobi and his Padawan if it wasn’t for the younger boy being in recovery after having himself injured on their last mission. 

The goal for the assignment was simple. There had been rumors floating around the temple of an underground club storing illegal weapons, which itself wouldn’t be an issue because as far as you were aware, half the clubs on Coruscant held their own illegal weapons, but once word spread that a group of bounty hunters were seeking to purchase the weapons, the Council decided to step in, hence yourself and Obi Wan being sent on the mission.  

And it seemed simple. Disguise yourself as anything other than a pair of Jedi, go into the club, seek out the location of the stored weaponry, alert the Counsil of its whereabouts, and leave. Easy. The entire assignment could be finished in under an hour. Yet the moment you dressed yourself in the disguised outfit, you slipping into the thin fabric of the floor length black dress, you decided you wanted to make the most of the night out, allowing yourself to have a bit more fun than the Council would’ve intended you on having. 

Obi Wan spun himself to the brink of dizziness when he finally paused, his eyes landing on your open back dress facing away from him as you stood at the entrance of a stall, you passing the man a handful of credits in exchange for the wide scarf. 

Groaning in annoyance, Obi Wan weaved his way through the crowded night market, him overhearing your thanks to the shop keep as he finally reached you, you turning to face him right as he approached you. 

“A scarf?�� he questioned, his eyes lingering on your face as he took in your amused expression. 

“I needed it” you replied, pushing past his tense frame as you began walking into the crowd once more. He watched as you slid the fabric across your arms, the width of it draping down your spine covering majority of your back, leaving a small slither of your skin exposed at the base of your dress, his eyes locked onto your flesh as you wandered off before it clicked that you were wandering off, him quickly jogging to catch up with you. 

“You know” he huffed, “we do have an assignment to complete” 

“And tell me, do we have a specific time frame required to complete this mission?” 

“...No, however it wou-” 

“No time frame means no need to rush” you said with raised eyebrows as you turned to look at Obi Wan, his eyes squinting as he faced forwards. 

“I think it would be rather beneficial to get this over and done with” 

“Why? Have you got somewhere better to be, Kenobi?” 

“Well, no. But I'd pref-” 

“Then we can take as long as we need. Besides, how often is it that we get to leisure like this out of the Temple? Well, I can only speak on my own behalf. I don’t care for whatever slacking off you do in your free time” 

“I do not ‘slack off’. Unlike some people, I take my role seriously” 

“If I didn’t take my role seriously, they wouldn’t have chosen me to be on this assignment, would’ve they?” 

“Only because Anakin's not here” Obi Wan mumbled under his breath just loud enough for you to hear, causing an angry warmth beneath your skin to flare up, your face snapping to meet the man beside yours once more. 

“And why isn’t your Padawan here? Maybe if his Master knew know how to provide adequate guidance, he wouldn’t have to resort to the medical bay once a week!” 

Obi Wan ignored your verbal jab, his eyes glancing at the rows of stalls as you both continued through the market, triumph slowly building inside you at his lack of a comeback until he redirected his walk to cut directly in front of you, his words a whisper as he passed your frame. 

“Say’s the Jedi without their own Padawan” 

“Hey!” you called, his feet quickening due to the clearing of the crowds as he headed towards the markets exit. Fastening your own pace, you caught up with him, prepared to argue back to his statement before he hushed you, his movements coming to a halt. 

“That's our destination. Master Yoda believes the weapons are stored on-” 

“The first or second floor beneath the club. I know. Might I remind you, I'm also on the Council” you stated, your shoulder bumping his as you passed him and began to draw closer to the entrance of the building when you felt a firm grasp around your wrist, stopping you from any further movements. 

“Don’t you... Wouldn’t it be best to think of a plan before walking in there?” 

“We already have a plan” You sighed in annoyance, you now facing him while his fingers remained wrapped around your skin. 

“But what if were questioned?” 

“We won’t be” 

“We need to be on the same page if they questio-” 

“We won’t be” 

“If we get caught, and you begin some-” 

“Kenobi! I’m telling you we will not be caught! Can you just trust me for once?!” 

His eyes widened in shock, his raised eyebrows furrowing after a moment's silence, a burst of air leaving his nostrils as he did a firm nod, his hand falling from yours as he crossed his arms across his chest. 

 “Fine... But if a single thing goes south-” he started, you huffing as you turned your back to him and marched towards the entrance of the club, Obi Wan following you behind as you neared the tinted glass doors reflecting the neon flashing signs of the streets above. 

Approaching the entrance, the two doors slide open, revealing the dim lights and bassy instrumental echoing within the club. You scanned the room as you entered it, your nose scrunching at the faded colored curtains draping across each wall and the clouds of thin smoke wafting across the roof, your eyes falling on the grim looking creature perched behind the reception desk.  

You slowed your pace until Obi Wan was standing beside you when you suddenly slid your arm beneath his, your arms interlocked drawing you closer to one another as you inched towards the reception desk. You could feel his confused gaze burning into the side of your face, but you ignored it, your face remaining emotionless as you approached the creature at the desk. 

“Reservation for 4-16" you spoke clearly, Obi Wans eyes now bouncing between yours and the creatures. 

“Name?” the being mumbled, his hands gliding across the vibrant hologram raised on the surface of the desk. 

“Waters” you replied, your voice stern as you watched his fingers dance across the glitchy lights, him tapping a few times before humming in approval, his bulging eyes returning to yours as he spoke. 

“You’re cleared. Pleasure to have you back, Miss Waters” 

Without looking back, you directed Obi Wan into the club, the two of you heading towards the row of ceiling high booth without saying a word. Unlinking your arm from his, you shimmied yourself into the booth, Obi Wan following behind you, seating himself a foot away from you. 

“Care to explain?” 

“I told you to trust me” you said unphased as you flattered out the fabric across your stomach. 

“Who is Miss Waters?” he pushed, him continuing to glare at you, you picking up on the sense that he wouldn't drop this topic without answers. 

“A fake name, clearly” you answered shortly, your eyes looking anywhere besides the man next to you who was growing more agitated by the minute, you jumping in your seat at the sudden sensation of his hand on your knee. 

“This is a shared mission! I’m required to know what you’re doing, so if need be, I can be in on whatever this is as well” 

Your head snapped to face him, your voice low yet firm as you quickly replied. 

“For the last time, I told you to trust me! And if you don’t, there’s no use for you being here. You know where the door is, or do you need help finding it?” 

Before he had the chance to reply, both of your heads turned to face the slim figure that was approaching your booth with a friendly smile, you forcing your cheeks to rise as you mirrored their joyous emotion. 

“Miss Waters, it’s been quite some time! How has life been treating you?” 

“Same old, you know how it is. And you?” 

“Busy. But it’s good to see a familiar face” he said, bending slightly to place a tray of assorted fruits and four glasses of a smokey green liquid on the table. 

“Oh... Grolo, this really isn’t necessary for tonight” 

“Nonsense, it’s on the house” Grolo replied before stepping backwards, his hands crossing as he nodded while speaking, “Room 24 is prepared to your liking for when you’re ready. You two enjoy your evening” 

You waited until Grolo disappeared from your eyesight before you raised your palms to your face, your heart beginning to beat slightly quicker from the conversation, you truly wanting to remain unexposed from the man beside you. 

“So... Familiar face, huh?” 

“Kenobi” you warned, you shielding your eyes from the world around you with your palms, Obi Wans own palm still resting on your knee. 

“And what’s this ‘room 24’?” 

“None of your business, that’s what it is” 

“But it will be... once the Council is notified about the cheat that is lying under their noses” 

Your breath caught in your throat at his words, a sudden anger sparking inside you as you dropped your hands, your body shifting to face the man beside you. 

“If you even think about speaking a word of this to them, I'll shatter each glass on this table and force it down your throat!” 

Leaning back against the fabric of the booth, he brought one hand to his beard, scaping it slowly as he watched you, while the other slid an inch up your skin, unwavering from its position as he pushed, “Then confess whatever it is that you’re hiding about this place, what you’re hiding about yourself” 

You wanted to call him out on his bluff, wanted to believe that he wouldn’t speak a word of what he’s already witnessed to the Council – wanted to trust him – yet you knew you couldn’t, you fully aware of his devotion to his job. So you leaned forward, grabbing two of the four drinks in front of you and bringing them to your lips, you shotting one after another like the liquid had no burning aftertaste, you in desperate need of any confidence boost for what you’re about to tell the man you resented the most. 

“Fuck. Fine. This...” you started, pausing momentarily with hesitation, Obi Wans eyes lingering on your face as you sighed, “This all began quite some time ago now.”, 

“Master Yoda caught word of a potential bounty passing though this area of Coruscant every few nights. He knew it was too risky himself to check the area out, so he sent me”, 

“His intentions were to get any information on the man. If the potential bounty belonged to a gang, if he had a following, who he was involved with. I came here, unsure if the bounty would even step foot in this place, with no indication on how to secure the information Yoda wanted” 

“And the mission was successful?” Kenobi asked, his hand still raking through the hairs on his chin. 

You nodded, swallowing the nerves building inside your tightening throat from what you were confessing for the first time. 

“Call it intuition, or even the Force, but he ended up coming here. I sparked a conversation, and he fell right into my trap. I knew it was too risky to use any of my... Force abilities. So I tried something else, and it worked after some time. He told me what I needed to know, and I reported it all-” 

“What was it?” 

“What was what?” 

“Your method. Possibly spiking of his drink? I wouldn’t put that past you-” 

“Seduction, actually” you spat, your features lifting with your matter-of-fact tone while his jumped in shock, a small cough escaping his mouth as he suddenly leaned forward, the hand that was resting on your leg now shooting across the table to grab ahold of one of the remaining drinks. 

“Seeing how successful it was” you continued, a half smiling tugging at your lips from the surprise your statement caused, “I decided to come back and try it again on a different occasion. And that’s how it started. The more I came here, the more potential threats would walk through those doors – Grolo’s bar being sort of a... hot spot, I guess, for people who want to remain unseen. I’d buy each one a drink here and there, enough for them to lose track of what they’re saying, sweet talk them the way a man like them would want to be spoken to, and suddenly the information I'd want would pour out of them. Easily” 

“But why do it if it wasn’t necessary?” 

“Because it kept me one step ahead. I attained information no other Council member had. Their confessions helped me out on multiple missions. I know who's connected to who, and who to avoid, where these people stay, what threats they pose. Besides, you and I both know how slowly the Council can move at times. I’ve just pushed myself to have a head start” 

“So you’d... seduce these... men into giving you information, out of your own will?” 

“Yes, Kenobi. I did” you said, your eyes switching from his face to the single drink remaining, you leaning forwards to grab it, your pulse jumping as you pretending to ignore the way Obi Wans eyes watched your moving frame, “But nothing I've done is against the Jedi code, nor is it a crime” 

“Not yet. You’re yet to inform me about this ‘room 24’” 

You remained silent as you rested back into the seat, you bringing the drink to your lips as your eyes lingered on Obi Wans, your stomach beginning to churn at the thought of you sharing your deepest secret to the man you’d wish to keep your secret from most. 

“Or you can tell the rest of the Council themselves, I'm sure they’d love to know” he said, his tone flat as he slowly began shuffling himself out of the booth, you immediately snapping your hand to wrap around his forearm stopping him in his tracks. 

“Don’t! Just... Believe me, Obi Wan, it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be” 

“And why should I have faith in your words? You can’t even tell me what is that you’re hiding, how can I trust that!” 

“Okay... Just sit, please” 

With a small huff, he returned to his previous position, spinning himself around to face the bar behind him, arm waving towards the empty tray on the table before adjusting himself to face you once more, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he did so. 

“If you’re going to make me stay, I might as well make it worth my while” he said coolly as one of the bartenders approached the booth with a full tray of drinks, swiftly placing it on the table, replacing the now empty one. He reached forward, his body barely lifting from the back of the seat as he grabbed the glass, his eyes looking deeply into yours as he took a sip causing the pits of your stomach to ignite with warmth. “Now finish the story, or I'm leaving. Don’t make me regret this decision” he said, following with your name at the end of the sentence. 

You wanted to push him, tease him about how precious the Council was to him, but you bit your tongue as you drowned the rest of your drink fully knowing there was no way out of the hole you unwillingly dug yourself in.  

Here goes nothing. 

“I was here every few weeks, doing the same routine. But... one night, things sort of changed. This scoundrel from Coruscant's south, no matter how hard I pushed, he gave no information on what I wanted to know. At first, I was in control, but the more we consumed, the more I... drifted from my purpose. Things started to take a turn, and... well, one thing led to another, and we... you know. I didn’t end up getting the information I wanted out of him, so when I came back, I tried again with someone who had connections to the scoundrel, but I was met with the same fate. After that, my purpose for coming to this side of town had a... different meaning” 

As the words left your lips, Obi Wans entire demeaner shifted, his relaxed composure becoming stiff, his jaw locked with tension as his eyes glared at you, a pit of rage boiling within him at your confession. Yet he kept himself together, trying to attain his burning jealousy as you continued your story. 

“Grolo, whenever I'd return, he’d allow me to stay in a room here with these... people. Room 24. He had trust in me, because I'd brought in good revenue for him with all my previous assignments, and he refused each man from leaving the next morning without covering the bill for the night's stay. We build sort of an understanding, a bond – myself and Grolo. I supplied him with customers, he supplied me with a free room” 

Concluding your confession, you released the deep breath you didn’t know you were holding back, you shotting the remainder of your drink before speaking once more, “That's all it is, Obi Wan. I’m not a criminal, or a cheat to the Council, so you can drop the need you so desperately have to inform the Council of any of this” 

You both sat in a momentary silence, your heart hammering in your chest as you waited for any sort of response from Kenobi, his silence out of character. Yet your pulse was met with a match, Obi Wan feeling as though his own heart was bound to leap out of his chest any moment due to the spiraling anger within him. Images began to play in his mind of the story you shared, flashes of your naked frame entangled with another - someone who wasn’t him - blinding his vision entirely, him taking no note of the rattling glass in his hand until the soft call of his named tore him from his thoughts. 

“... Obi Wan?” you mumbled, your hand reaching out towards him, your fingers barely grazing his skin before he pulled back, his voice a sharp slice as he spat his words. 

“You’re unbelievable!” 

“I’m sorry?” you questioned, your already hammering heart going into overdrive from his outburst. 

“Are you in some state of delusion? You’d be foolish to believe any of this is okay” 

"What are you... I told you I've done noth-” 

“There's something in this lifestyle you’re hiding amongst that you truly desire. These relations, you want them more than you’re allowing yourself to believe. You’ve gone against me-… Against the Jedi Code. I thought you were smarter than this, but clearly, I was wrong about you” 

Absorbing his belittlement, your shock was quickly switched to anger, you hurt that he was speaking to you this way after you opened to him for the first time about something nobody else knew, something that you would’ve never had spoken on if it wasn’t for his threats in the first place. 

“Don’t try and act as though you’re innocent, Obi Wan, like you’ve never had some fun before. We all remember whatever it was that happened between yourself and Dutchess Satine!” The Dutchess’s name on your tongue left a sour after taste, a quick flash of memories passing through your mind as you spoke, images of Obi Wan watching the woman fondly, her arm entwined with his and they walked together, the memory so bitter in your mind that it only added fuel to your already wild flame. 

“What you’re doing is incomparable to that. It was a moment of clouded judgement, of weakness. It was a half-whited act, but nowhere near as close to what you’ve been doing” 

“My business is different!” The alcohol you’d consumed began to take full effect, you unaware of just how loud you were both shouting at one another until you noticed the turning of heads surrounding the booth, various eyes falling on yourself and Obi Wan. 

“And how is that?!” 

“You formed an attachment, I didn’t! You got entangled with emotions, I'm only after momentary fulfillment!” 

“You are surely blinded! This is outrag-” 

You weren’t sure what pushed you over the edge – possibly the heat flushed against your cheeks or the tears beginning to well behind your eyes - but you finally got fed up with the ongoing argument, you swiftly rising from the seat, your body swaying slightly as you shuffled yourself towards the exit of the booth.  

Before you had the chance to walk off, you felt a forceful grip suddenly wrap around your wrist, his soft plea for you to stop barely audible as you cut him off immediately, snatching your arm from his as you spat back, “Don’t!” 

Shocked expressions were blurred around you as you stormed off, the effort of not allowing your hot tears to spill over blocking out the calling pleas of your name from behind you. You repeatedly attempted deep breaths as you pushed your way around passing creatures, your shaky hands a direct result of the alcohol and adrenaline cocktail flowing through your bloodstream. 

Muscle memory navigated you through the various hallways leading you towards the back rooms, your fingers dancing along the keypad of the door you knew too well, a small flash of green blinking before the door unlocked, you pushing the steel frame open. Immediately you were welcomed with dim lighting, the smell of vanilla wafting through your nose as you waved your hands towards your face, your palms cuffing your eyes as you exhaled sharply. 

For a few quiet moments, you stayed in that position, the fire inside you putting up a continuous fight towards your attempt of calming yourself, you completely unaware of the presence that had joined you in the room until you heard the thunder of the steel door forcefully closing behind you causing you to rapidly twirl in shock, your hands ripping from your eyes as they connected with the blue eyes glairing back at you. 

You watched each other in silence, the anger within you sparking up at the sight of him, your previous attempts at becoming calmer thrown out the window within seconds. As his eyes scanned your frame, his somewhat stiff stance loosened, his eyes softening as he absorbed your upset state. His mouth opened to speak, but before he had the chance to mutter a single syllable, your words silenced his, the sentences freely falling from your lips. 

“When all this began, for the first time in my life, I felt as if I was lifted from any burden. Weightless from all responsibilities. No rules, no restrictions, no Council or Jedis. Do you know how freeing that felt? To be nothing but a girl having some fun with a stranger at a bar? It was like being able to breathe again for the first time!” 

He listened to each word you spoke, his mouth remaining shut as he stepped towards you, you moving yourself in the opposite direction as he did so. 

“It was harmless fun Kenobi! Believe it or not, I really don’t care, but that’s all it was! And if you’re so opposed by it, go ahead and tell the Council!!” 

“No” he mumbled flatly, his eyes never leaving yours as his head shook, his body moving another step closer to yours. 

“Why not?!” you shouted, the back of your knees finally hitting the edge of the bed as you backed away from his approaching body, “Maybe they’ll believe you, banish me from the temple. You’ll be able to reign free, the great General Kenobi at the peak of his game!” 

“No” he repeated, this time louder as he began to close in on you, a warm puddle forming in the pit of your stomach as you noticed a glimmer of crazy in his eyes that you’d never seen before. 

“Thats what you’ve strived for all these years, isn’t it? The moment I stepped foot in that temple you wanted me out of there! Nows your chance! I know this is what you want to do, so just do it!” 

Within the blink of an eye, his arms extended in front of him, his warm palms landing on your waist as he pulled you towards him, your chest slamming into his, your breath knocked from your lungs at the contact. His head tilted down to meet yours, one arm removing itself from your waist only to place itself on your chin, his fingers pinching your skin as he directed your head to face his. 

“You have no idea what I want!” 

The small blow of his breath drifted across your open lips, the sensation sending a wave of tingles down your spine, a pool of warmth forming between your weekend legs as his angered eyes peered into your own. 

“You think having you removed from the council is what I desire? To not have you within reach, have you out of my eyesight for even a single second? I would rather take a blade to the skull than to have you out of my life, leaving me miserable while you’re out there being fulfilled by some low life stranger who doesn’t even know your real name” 

As the last sentence left his lips, he pulled your body as close as possible, your heart fluttering as you breathily gasped, his following words causing you to almost fall to your knees as he whispered them onto your flushed skin, “They could never do what needs to be done with you. You don’t even know what real fulfillment is” 

Lifting your head, his fingers still attached to your skin, you inched your face towards him, you pausing at the soft touch of his lips brushing yours, your words vibrating the curve of his bottom lip as you whispered, “...Then why don’t you show me?” 

The breath was knocked from your lungs once more as your frame was suddenly pushed backwards, you collapsing onto the mattress with force, Obi Wans body close behind you as he softly landed on top of you. Leaving no time to waste, he spread his knees to rest on the outsides of your thighs, his hands grabbing at your waist once more as he shuffled you towards the top of the mattress, your body effortlessly tossed towards the soft pillows.  

Barely able to settle from his rapid moving of your body, he crawled his way back on top of you, his lips immediately connecting with the base of your jaw causing an audible sigh to clear from your lungs. 

“You have no idea...” he started, each word interrupted by a sloppy kiss as he worked his way down your neck, “how deeply I've wanted... how deeply I've... needed you” 

His confession made your mind swirl, your hands instinctively gripping at his clothing, trembling fingers unbuttoning and tugging the fabric away from his torso as he roughly worked his mouth across your skin. With each suck and nip, your breaths drew deeper which only seemed to encourage him more. 

“For countless years... my every waking moment” he breathed, his hips connecting to meet with yours, you noticing the stiffness between his legs for the first time causing you to groan, “... has been consumed with thoughts of you” 

His upper body now rid of clothes, you suddenly felt extremely warm in your own clothing, your head tossing to the side as you struggled to free your arms from the twisted scarf clinging to them. Noticing your movements, Obi Wan withdrew himself from your neck, his movements twice as fast as he assisted in removing your scarf, him balling the item up and tossing it behind him, you taking the small moment to focus on his lips, the skin dark and plump, the wetness glazed across the his lips giving you the urge to connect your own with his. 

Returning to face you, his eyes caught sight of your gaze, his heart skipping a beat when you made contact with him. Your flushed cheeks and darked pupils almost sent him into a complete frenzy, but the small pull of your soft smile drew him back into reality, him needing to clear any doubts before continuing, his one arm keeping him hovered above you while the other stroked a strand of hair from your cheek. 

“If... if this isn’t what you want, we can st-” 

Unable to wait a moment longer, you snaked your arms around his neck, drawing him into you as you pushed your lips onto his. The moment you made contact, pure euphoria spread itself through each nerve in Obi Wans body, him kissing you back twice as hard as his heart leaped in his chest. Finally, he thought. 

You pulled back slightly, your attempt to speak cut short as Obi Wan eagerly chased your lips, him deepening the kiss the moment his skin met yours, not wanting to spend another second away from your lips.  

You allowed him to take you in, his lips dancing along with yours as his hips began to slowly grind onto you, your soft sigh tumbling into his mouth causing him to kiss you deeper. 

“Obi” you mumbled, him humming in reply, completely engulfed by bliss, his lips never leaving yours.  

“Obi Wan” you repeated, this time louder as you pulled away from him with a small laugh. 

As much as you were enjoying the sensation of his lips on yours, the ever-growing pulse between your legs was growing stronger with every passing moment, and you were on the edge of becoming desperate.  

“What is it?” Kenobi questioned, his eyes clouding with doubt as he scanned your face, your delicate hand now combing back his long hair welcoming him with immediate reassurance. 

“I need you...” Your simple worlds caused the man to completely crumble, the sentence one he’d dreamt of for countless years, certain he’d never have the pleasure of being on the receiving end when you said it. Yet there he was, laying on top of the woman he loved, the worlds a looping constant in his mind as he watched you. “... Please” 

As if sprung back to life from the dead, he didn’t want to wait a single moment longer, his hands frantic as they reached around to the back of your neck, unfastening your dress and peeling the fabric from your upper body and down to your hips, you shuffling on the mattress, assisting him in any way you could. Pulling the material down your legs, he used one hand to toss it behind him, the other tugging the shoes from your feet before he did the same to himself, ridding him of his pants and footwear before returning his attention to you. 

Stoll hovering above you, he spends a small moment ogling at your naked torso, the way your sprawled hair and tinted cheeks complemented your exposed skin. He was certain he was in the presence of an angel, wishing he could freeze the sight of you before him and stare at it for eternity, yet the harness between his legs prevented him from doing otherwise, him lowering himself to your chest. 

His hands roamed freely across your skin, the sensation of his drifting fingers leaving your hairs standing on edge as his mouth now worked itself across your shoulder blades, each hot kiss leaving a trail of wetness behind. 

Even though you had no intention of staying quiet, small sighs and groans fell freely into the air, each one growing louder as Obi Wan worked his way down your body, him coming to a standstill as his mouth reached your breast. 

His mouth occupied with one, his hand now toying with the other, your breathing grew heavier in pleasure, only spiraling the frenzy that burned inside Obi Wan.  

“Oh my... oh my god” you breathed, your hands shifting between the back of his shoulder blades and the strands of his hair. 

“You’re so beautiful” he mumbled dreamily, his mouth and hands switching positions as he worked himself across to your right breast, his hand now kneading your left. 

Although you were coursing with pleasure, you still needed more, you growing impatient with his slow teasing.  

“Obi Wan, I...” 

“Yes, my darling?” 

“I need more” 

“More?” he teased, his head lifting from your chest and snaking its way to your neck, him now trailing a row of small pecks to your ear, pausing to whisper, “Tell me what you want” 

“Your hands. Please, Obi” 

An exhale of laughter blew into your ear, Obi Wans mouth finding your own as his hand snaked its way down your body, his hand slightly trembling as it reached the lining of your underwear. He toyed with the edge of the fabric, your lips mashing with his as your hips lifted in reflex to the touch, pushing him to continue. 

As his fingers dug beneath the fabric, you released a rumbly moan into his mouth, the sound causing him to eagerly press further, the pads of his fingers collecting wetness as he explored. Your sounds of pleasure grew more rapidly as his fingers moved, him finding your bundle of nerves with ease causing you to cry out and press up onto his hand, a smirk forming on his face as you did so. 

Both your palms now held his cheeks, keeping his lips pressed against yours as his hand worked on your below, a rhythm forming in his movements causing a buildup to form within you, a pressure initiating in your core.  

Keeping his thumb on your bud, his index and middle finger explored lower, pausing at your opening.  

“Is this what you desire?” he asked between kisses, his voice low and rough. You nodded in agreement, your eyes shut in bliss as his thumb continued its movements. 

“You words. I need your words” 

“Yes!” you cried desperately into his mouth, a sigh leaving both of your lips as his fingers entered you.  

His movements started slow, him taking in each new feeling as his fingers slowly worked in and out, but it wasn’t until he felt the connection of your hip meeting his hands that he allowed himself to speed up, your continuous moans on his lips reassurance that you were enjoying yourself. It wasn’t long before the tension within you began rapidly building to new heights, the two of you breathing deeply into one another. 

“Obi...” you moaned, your mouth detaching from him, bottom lip falling slack as your skin began to tingle with pleasure, “I’m... I'm close” 

His movements stayed steady, your hands beginning to shake as you drew closer to your release until everything suddenly stopped, his fingers inside you now a ghostly presence as he removed his hands from beneath your underwear, bringing them to his own, him pulling the fabric down as you gaped at him in disbelief of what he’d just done. 

“Why did you st-”  

Your questioning was interrupted with a firm, sloppy kiss, you jumping at the return of his hands as they fell on the side of your leg, grabbing the fabric of the only remaining piece of clothing on your body before tugging them down your thighs. 

“I need to feel you, now” he said as he leant back on his knees, readjusting to both of you around so that his legs were between yours, your legs bent and thighs spread as he lowered himself, his body straight as he hovered above you once more. His free hand grabbed his shaft, lining it up with your core, his eyes peering up at you as he did so. 

“Are you s-” 

“Obi” you groaned in annoyance, your body still tingling from his edging just before. 

“I need you to be sure” he said back with a competitive tone, yet the small smile on his face revealed anything but anger. 

“I want you Obi Wan. Right now. Please” 

With your green light, he thrusted his hip towards you, your entrance welcoming his tip as he lowered himself into you, the sounds leaving both of your mouths a cocktail of pure pleasure. He moved slowly, wanting to prevent causing you any discomfort but also needing to savor the feeling. This really is heaven, he thought. 

Dragging himself in and out, he refused to pick up his pace until you granted him to do so, a wave of excitement spreading through him as your hips began to meet his. He entered you with more force, hip colliding with yours as he rocked into you, causing you to cry out in satisfaction. 

“Faster” you mumbled, your head falling sideways as he began to move more vigorously. 

“What was that?” he teased, pretending to not hear your words. 

“Please, faster, Obi Wan!” you cried. 

His speed doubled as he worked into you, both of your bodies rocking in sync as he lowered his mouth to your neck, his lingering pecks growing sloppier as he the time passed, vocal groans and heavy puffs rumbling against your now tender skin. 

The familiar building began to form within the pits of your stomach once more, your hands reaching out to claw at the exposed skin of Kenobi's back as you breathlessly moaned, “Fuck... You’re so good” 

“Yeah?” 

“Mmmh hmmm” you nodded, his lips snaking their way down to your chest once more before returning to your face, his forehead resting on yours as his wild eyes peered down into yours. 

“No other scum can please you the way I can” he groaned somewhat angrily, his lips pressing onto yours forcefully as his thrusting hardened causing a cry to crawl itself out from your throat, “Only I can... God, only I can have you like this. Tell me only I make you feel this good” 

“Obi Wan!” you called, your chest rising and falling rapidly as the ache in your core drew closer to release. 

“I said tell me!” he paused, his hand snaking its way down to your thigh, gripping the skin and hiking your leg up beside him causing his thrusts to fall deeper inside you. 

“It’s only you, Obi- Oh my... Only you make me feel this good!” 

“That’s right...” he cooed, placing a kiss to your swollen lips as his forehead returned to yours, his eyes lapping up the visual pleasure displaced across your face.  

Your cries both messy and loud, your hands began to shake once more as you were now on the edge of your release, Obi Wans own pent up tension a reflection of yours as he bucked into you. 

“I’m... I’m...” you stuttered, your hands frantic on his skin as his breath fanned your face, you unable to finish your sentence as his mouth returned to yours for a final time, his free hand gripping your skin tightly as you reached your peaks, you crying out inaudible appraisals as you came undone, your nails digging into Obi Wans flushed skin as he rocked into you, his release directly chasing yours, his loud moans echoing in your ears.  

You rode the wave of your highs together, his hips continuing to rock into yours as he emptied himself inside of you, his mind a haze of complete bliss as you held him, your rocky breaths across his skin sending shivers down his spine. 

You stayed like that for what you wished could be an eternity, basking in the euphoria that coursed through your veins as you both relaxed into one another, you gasping as Obi Wan removed himself from your warm walls before plummeting onto your frame, your skin to skin contact an immediate warming comfort.  

Catching your breaths, your hand raked the skin on his back, your palms soothing the red scratches you created just moments before as he delicately placed fluttery kisses on your already bruising collarbones. Neither of you had spoken a word, you both basking in the moment, absorbing the affections you were gifting to one another before Obi Wans head rose from your chest, his eyes slightly glassy as he drew in your attention. 

“As cathartic as that was... we do have an assignment to complete” he joked, the hair on his chin tickling the skin on your chest as it bounced with laughter, you tossing your head back with a groan before peeking down at him once more, his wide smile a reflection of your own. 

“I hate you, Kenobi” you teased, your hands snaking their way up through his hair, your fingers pausing to give a section of strands a slight tug as you spoke causing his smile to widen. 

“My darling, I hate you more than you’ll ever know” 

[murdockussy]

Beyond These Walls

Matt Murdock x Roommate Reader Fic

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Chapter Seven: Why Not

words: 2k

With the sound of the pad of your finger tapping the phone screen, ending the call, Matt diverted his focus back on Karen, her muffled words becoming clearer. 

“...Which I'm sure he’ll be happy about”  

“Sorry Karen, I missed the first half of that, what’d you say?” Matt spoke, clearing his throat as he stood in the kitchen, pretending to clear the sink bench. 

“That's fine, I was umm... Just saying that maybe we could grab some coffees on the way. I know you and Foggy usually make one in the office but I thought since we were already out, and we've got the extra set of hands?”  

“Yeah, that’ll be nice” he said, his attention once again drifting to the opening door 6 stories below his home, the guess you were waiting upon beginning to make her way upstairs.  

“Well, we better get going if we want to make it on time, I don’t want Foggy judging us if we’re both late, although I'm sure a hot cappuccino will make up for it” Karen said with a laugh, the joke flying over Matts head as he continued to listen to Noelle now speedily ascend the stairwell.  

“I’ll just have to grab my things before we leave” Matt muttered, teetering around the kitchen as if he didn’t know exactly where everything was placed, his hands tapping along the benchtop pretending to be searching for something to drag out the time.    

The thought of meeting your visitor – let alone you – for the first time filled him with confusing emotions he hasn’t felt for a very long time, his feelings walking the fine line of eagerness and anxiousness. It wasn’t though he wished to avoid you, but he also didn’t feel ready to be face to face with the stranger he was secretly becoming conditioned and comfortable with, these sensations something he check listed to ponder over at a later time.    

Karen watched Matt fumble with an awkward eye, unsure of whether to lend a hand or allow Matt to do what he needed too, not wanting to overstep any unclear boundaries that were yet to be made. “I can go wait for you in the hall?” she asked, sweetening her voice out of uncertainty as she slowly inched her way towards the front door.  

“There's no need, I'll only be a moment. I just need to find...” Matt replied, continuing to delve around his kitchen, his attention dipping between Karen edging closer to the front door and Noelle growing nearer to yours.  

“I’ll just be outside, take your time Matt, really there's no rush”  

“Ah, no Karen, I’ll just-”, As Karen ignored his pleas, finding her way to the front door and swinging it open, his anxieties grew worse, his internal stress radar going over the edge as Noelle reached the final flight of stairs below yours and Matts floor.  

In a panic he raced towards his front door with the intention of reeling Karen back inside before Noelle could spot her, not wanting to give your guest the impression that Karen was living there, or that she was associated with Matt as more than a co-worker. And although he was clueless on why he wanted to avoid that scenario so badly, something deep inside him was potent on keeping Karen clear from your eyes – another thing Matt added to his list to ponder on later.  

However, Noelle’s excited pace was somehow unparalleled to Matt’s distressed-fueled speed, her reaching the peak of the staircase before Matt had the chance to shelter Karen inside from Noelle’s view.    

He stood behind the wooden front door, his heart thumping with worry as he listened to the now inevitable interaction, a quiet gasp leaving Noelle’s throat as she laid eyes on Karen's figure leaning against the hallway wall.  

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he squeezed his eyes shut as he prayed for Karen not to interact with Noelle, to let her enter your apartment without any conversation, but found himself silently cursing as Karen's inescapable kindness was released.  

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you” the blonde spoke with a toothy smile, her voice friendly and sincere.  

“No! Don’t apologise” Noelle replied with a laugh, her hand over her chest as she released a deep breath as though she was winded, “I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone else up here”  

Matt followed Noelle’s every move as she swiftly passed Karen, arriving at your front door and began to knock, relief flooding within him as your voice called from inside your apartment, “It’s open!”  

Noelle cranked her head over her shoulder, wishing Karen a good day before opening the door and entering your home, Matt releasing the breath he didn’t know he was holding onto as Noelle closed the door behind her.    

Scurrying around his home, Matt grabbed his belongings, heading out the front door, locking the door as he apologised for keeping Karen waiting. There the two headed down the stairwell together, Karen's grasp firm on his upper arm in attempts to help him down each set of stairs, his hearing still within the walls of your apartment as Noelle recalled the events from before to you, her words searing the pit in Matt’s stomach.  

***  

“By the way, did someone drop by before I got here?” Noelle asked, dropping her bags on the floor next to the dining table as she gently placed the takeaway tray on the surface, sliding the cups out of their holders.  

“No... Why?” You asked, thanking your friend as she passed you the warm drink. 

“There was some blonde woman standing across the hall when I got here”  

“Blonde woman?” you said as you flickered through old conversations with Fran, trying to possibly remember her mentioning the stranger, “What was she like?”  

“Feminine. More than I'll ever be. Looked professional. Blue eyes, blonde hair, banging figure. I'm talking tiny waist, and hips. for. days. Seemed nice though, totally didn’t give off psycho killer vibes”  

“I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not” you said, taking a sip of your drink.  

“I’m dead serious. Although it wouldn’t be a bad idea to keep the door locked, even when you know I'm headed up, you know how Fran is with that stuff. Anyway, she seemed like she was waiting for someone, maybe your neighbour?”  

“Could be his girlfriend or something? Grandma never gave me the details on him, just the standard cautionary tales”  

“That’s Fran alright, wouldn’t expect any less of her” Noelle said with a laugh, crouching beside the table and began ruffling through her bag, you leaning against the back of the couch as you watched, taking sips of your coffee.  

“Gotcha!” Noelle called as stood, returning to face you with the borrowed set of clothes in her hands, “Thank you again for letting me borrow them. I was tossing up the idea of keeping them, those sweats do cling to my ass pretty good”  

Grabbing the clothes, you headed into your bedroom to put them away, calling out to Noelle to “borrow them any time” before returning to find her sitting comfortably on the couch, sipping her drink as she patted the empty space besides her.    

Complying to her silent offer, you sat down, turning your body to face hers with your feet tucked underneath you, sipping your coffee as you both gossiped about your week. Although the presence of another person still left depths of you feeling uncomfortable and hesitant – a habit you were sure you weren't going to break out of anytime soon - Noelle’s company had you slowly resurfacing from your thickly built shell.    

As Noelle rambled about her latest encounter with a group of freshly legal drunken college girls, you couldn’t help but have your mind slip away from the conversation into its own imaginative void as you pictured yourself in her shoes, the idea of being around so many constant people leaving you feeling overwhelmed which Noelle eventually caught onto.    

“Hey, are you alright?” Noelle asked, her now gently placed hand on your thigh pulling you from your daze.  

“Yes, sorry! I swear I was listening. I was just picturing myself around that many people, I don’t know how you do it”    

“Well for one, true New Yorkers like myself are accustomed to crowds, you can’t beat them. And two, if you’d come visit during one of my shifts you could see for yourself that it’s not that bad”  

“I know you’ll hold me down to it, I'll come visit you someday soon” you said with a smile, patting her hand that rested on your leg.  

“That ‘soon’ better mean within the next few weeks, I don’t want you going mad in this apartment. Don’t get me wrong, this rundown-penthouse is quite the stunner, but you’re going to need a break from it soon, right?”  

You sat there for a moment in silence pondering over her words. Although it had only been a week since you’d moved in, the same daily routine was slowly starting to chip at you. It wasn’t that you lacked any company – being alone was something you were habitual with – but that you were beginning to grow bored, feeling in need of a more proactive change of routine.  

Noelle watched you as you remained stiff, your blank gaze unmoving from your lap, your attention diverting back to her as she murmured your name, "Did I say something wrong? I don’t want you to think I'm pressuring you, you know I would neve-”  

“No, you’re right” You said, interrupting her, taking another sip of your drink before continuing, “I think I do need a break, I need a fresh start, you know?”  

“Yes!” Noelle shouted, an encouraging smile forming over her face as the worry drained from her body, “Back in the city, technically-old but new apartment, fresh start, I love this for you! This is great, timing and all!”  

“Timing with what?”  

There was a pause before Noelle spoke again, her eyes blinking rapidly as a stressed smile pulled at her cheeks, “Don’t hate me, it wasn’t my idea”  

“Noelle” you said firmly, “What have you done?”  

“Nothing! It wasn’t me! Fran and mum have been chatting since you got here, and she knows Fran would never leave you empty pocketed here, but she’s been hounding me with questions on you being cooped up alone here, mothers' intuition and what not”  

“Go on”  

“Well, she wanted me to ask you about this offering at the right time, and I don’t want you to feel pressured at all. If this isn’t what you’re aiming for I totally understand. I get you’re comfortable here and I-”  

“Noelle, just spit it!”  

“Okay! Mum’s asked if you wanted a spot at her book store”  

You smiled, feeling somewhat relieved at Noelle’s words, the offering sparking your interest. “Like a job?”  

“Pretty much. She hasn’t gone over the details much, every time she brings it up I try to brush it off, but you know how persistent she is. All I know is that it’ll be stocking shelves and service stuff, that’s pretty much what mum does day by day anyway”  

You thought over the idea as you sipped through the remainder of your drink, considering the possibility of you working with Noelle’s mum. From what Noelle’s told you, their bookstore has kept a quiet, even pace over the years, the more well-known stores gaining more attention than theirs, which you’d consider a win. And although you had your own money, as well as the gifted cash from Fran, a little extra on the side wouldn’t hurt. Plus, it wasn’t like you’d be working with strangers, Noelle’s family being people you used to be familiar with. ‘What could be the harm in it’ you thought to yourself, emotions beginning to swirl in your stomach.  

“You know what, why not” you spoke quickly before you could take back your words.  

“Wait, really?” Noelle said, her eyes wide with shock, “Don’t feel like you have too, mum just thought she’d offer”  

“Yeah, really” you replied, your smile spreading from your face to Noelle’s, “I think it’ll be good. Let your mum know I said I'll do it”    

[murdockussy]

Beyond These Walls

Matt Murdock x Reader Fic

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Chapter Six: Different In Daylight

words: 1.7k

Almost a whole week had passed since you spent the day with your former best friend.    

When Noelle’s shift ended, you woke to excessive chimes calling from your phone. You sluggishly reached out to the screen light illuminating your room, your eyes squinting as you read the rows of messages.  

‘Thank you for yesterday, I feel like we both needed that’    

‘Talk soon x’    

‘And I’ll return your clothes asap!’    

The following day, you exchanged messages between each other for hours, discussing the events of your day and plans for the week, Noelle hopeful to swing by within the later days. You replied back ‘You’re welcome to come by any time’, a knot in your stomach forming as you overthought the overwhelming idea of repetitively having friends over again, something you’ve gone without for countless years.  

Depending on how everything flows out, maybe Noelle could be your only exception.  

***  

Tucking his button up shirt into his pants, Matt mindless swiveled his belt through the belt loops as he listened in on the apartment across from his.  

Within the past week, Matt grew more and more familiar with your presence. He unknowingly listened in on your daily go abouts as if you were background noise from a radio. And although you both had never shared a conversation, let alone been face to face with one another, with each day that passed, he grew to be more comfortable with you.    

In the mornings he’d wake to the sounds of your sleeping body, your delicate breaths fanning over the cotton sheets you’d be resting on. When he’d return in the evenings, he’d scan through your apartment, sensing for any moved objects to piece together what happened while he was gone for the day. And each night, tired and sore from scavenging around the dark streets of Hell’s Kitchen, he’d find his peace in the slow thuds of your heartbeat.  

And today seemed no different than the others. As he slid socks over his cold feet, he observed you in your kitchen, placing away the clean cutlery you used the night before. Paying more attention to the gameshow on your TV than the knives you were incorrectly placing in your draws, Matt laughed as you inaccurately answered each question.    

***  

Facing the television screen on the wall in the room across from you, you rocked side to side anxiously awaiting the next question to be asked from the host of the gameshow, your hands recklessly placing away the now clean utensils from last night's dinner.    

“Within the multimedia space opera franchise, which Episode of Star Wars is ‘The Phantom Menace’? Is it; A) Episode One, B) Episode Four, C) Episode Three, or D) Episode Two?”    

Speed walking into the loungeroom to gain a clearer view of the screen, you swung the knives in your hands towards the TV as you enthusiastically shouted your answer as if you were the person inside the screen being questioned, “Episode One! Oh my god, choose Episode One! C’mon!”  

***  

An immediate smile drew at Matts lips as you jumped around in circles, quietly cheering as both you and the man within the screen answered the question correctly. “Hm, Star Wars Fan. Good job” he praised.  

The ringing from his phone interrupted his joy, the robotic voice echoing in his bedroom catching his attention, ‘Karen. Karen. Karen’    

Entering the room, he cleared his throat before answering the call. “Hey Karen”  

“Hi Matt, uh, good morning” Karen replied, her voice seeming flustered as she spoke. He picked up on the sound of her heels rushing along the pavement, as well as the soft crinkling of a plastic bag bouncing off her hips as she walked.  

“Good morning to you too, Miss Page. Is everything alright?”  

“Yes, sorry, everything's fine. I know we’re gonna meet at work in...” she paused, pulling away from the phone, the sound of the busy streets growing louder in Matts ear before she returned to speak, “about 40 minutes, but I wanted to return the clothes you leant me the other night. And I didn’t want you to have to lug them around at work, so I thought I could drop them off at yours?”  

As she puffed her words, Matt caught onto the pounding of her heart growing faster as she finished her sentence. Before he had the chance to reply, she spoke again, the thudding growing quicker. “Only if you want me too, if not I completely understand. I just didn’t want them getting in yo-”  

Matt spoke, cutting her worry short. “That's fine, Karen. I’m more than happy for you to keep them, but if you want to drop over that’s okay. It’s thoughtful of you, thank you”  

Parting their ways with a “See you soon”, Matt continued to get dressed, dashing around his apartment to put together his outfit. Not long after, the familiar sound of heels ascending the stairwell informed him that his company arrived. He waited, adjusting his tie as she made it to his floor, pausing momentarily before knocking.  

Walking down the entrance hallway of his apartment, he reached for the door handle, twisting it unlocked and swinging it open. The force of the pull wafted a small breeze over Matt, the scent of Karen's oriental perfume mixing with tinges of excitement and adrenaline laying over his sensitive taste buds.  

“Hi” Karen spoke, a soft smile tugging at her lips as she tucked fallen strands of hair behind her ear.  

“Hey Karen, come inside” Matt said, stepping side to pull the door open even wider for Karen to enter. As she did, he caught onto the rapid rhythm of her heartbeat, the pulse spiking while brushing past him, her gaze sweeping over his framed lenses.  

Walking slowly through his home, her hands clutching the plastic bag full of his freshly washed clothes – the scented detergent lingering slightly in Matts nose – she observed the apartment, humming in approval as she spun to face Matt.    

“This place looks a lot different in daylight”  

Matt followed her slowly out of the walkway into the open loungeroom, overtaking her paused body to lead them towards the couches.  

“The billboards aren’t as bad during the day, from what I've been told anyway. You missed the chance to see the switch from night to day last time you were here” Matt spoke, his monotone voice coming across more stern than sarcastic as he referred to the night his disguised self saved Karen from the vandals in her apartment.  

“Yeah, I guess I did” Karen mumbled in a darkened tone, Matt picking up on the way she began to nervously chew her lip. Guilt instantly spilled within Matt, a thin layer of tension filling the room as he spoke, “I didn’t mean it like that, it didn-”  

“It’s okay, I know I shouldn’t have lef-”  

“No, no, don’t apologise Karen, I really didn-” Matt slowly grafted himself closer to her, attempting to speak before being interrupted again.  

“And I know I already said I was sorry but it really was stu-”  

Softly placing his hand on her upper arm, his grip tender on her bare skin, her words fell silent at the contact as he said her name, shushing her from the ongoing ramble, “It really is okay. It’s in the past. And I didn’t mean for it to come out that way, I'm sorry”  

“It's okay Matt, and I forgive you” she said with a laugh, patting Matts arm that was attached to hers, her hand lingering on the fabric of his T-shirt before pulling away and opening the plastic bag that rested in her other hand.  

“Before I forget, where did you want me to put your clothes”  

Releasing his grip from her arm, he extended his reach towards the bag. “I can take them” he said, Karen placing the handles over his open palm. Taking his clothes out, he smoothly walked into his bedroom and began placing each item into the drawers. “You know I really wouldn't have minded if you kept them, but I do appreciate you bringing them over”  

“I felt bad taking them from you, and if it counts for anything, I also washed them” Karen called out, her eyes following Matts every move as he packed away the clothes before returning to her side, his senses picking up on the spike of her pulse once again as he replied with a smirk, “How nice of you. I guess I'll have to lend you my clothes more often”  

***  

Finally walking out of the spotless kitchen, the mess you left from the previous night now thoroughly cleaned and placed back inside the kitchen's cabinets, you made your way to the open window facing the fire escape and sat yourself down on the wooden edge. With the cool morning breeze blowing over your skin, you inhaled the crisp air as you watched the growing bustle of the streets below.    

Before you had the chance to fully settle into the relaxing moment of people-watching, the distant buzz of your phone from the bedroom caught your attention. Dashing from the window seal towards the bedroom, you caught the phone moments before the ringtone cut off, the caller ID flashing on your screen; Noelle.  

With slight hesitation you swiped across the screen answering the call, the call itself filling you with concern as you internally questioned why she was ringing you instead of texting like she usually would.    

“Hello?”  

The upbeat tone of her voice immediately washed away any worry as she squawked your name over the speaker, “Good morninggg! Rise and shine!”  

“Well good morning to you too. What’s uhm... what's going on?”  

“Me? I’m just out grabbing some coffee, how about you? Not still in bed I hope”  

“Nope, I got up a bit earlier to get some cleaning done” you replied, removing yourself from your bedroom and heading back to the window, reclaiming your seated position once again.  

“Great! That’s just what I was hoping to hear. Have you got any plans for your day?” Noelle responded, excitement evident in her words.  

“Not at the moment, why?”    

“Ah, even better. Give me two seconds. Wait... Wait... Oh perfect, I can see you! Look down at the street”  

You instantly snapped your head towards the busy footpath below, a laugh escaping your lips at the sight of Noelle beneath, her free hand waving up at you, the other holding a take away tray full of drinks while her head balanced her phone on her shoulder.    

“I told you next time I'd call you beforehand, except this time without the intoxication. Its’s okay if I come up?”  

“Of course,” you replied, returning the wave with a smile, “I’ll see you in a few”  

[murdockussy]

Beyond These Walls

Matt Murdock x Reader Fic

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Chapter Five: Don’t Be A Stranger

words: 1,900+

“Noelle, what... what are you doing here?” you hushed, peeling the body from yours. With the release of your hold, her drunken body began to sway, her shoulder now resting on the open doorframe.  

Unknowing that the man across the hall was fully awake and alert, listening to every aspect of the interaction you were amidst, you pulled Noelle’s body inside, not wanting to disrupt the peace of any sleeping tenants.  

Watching as she waltzed inside your apartment, you heading into the kitchen as your unexpected guest headed for the loungeroom. Noelle replied, slurring her words. “Mum told me that you were coming back to town. Fran told Mum. We didn’t believe it. Had to-” a hiccup interrupted her speech before she continued, “Had to come see for myself, and here you are”  

Plopping herself down onto the couch, flashbacks of your younger selves sprung into your mind, much shorter and naive, sitting opposite one another on that exact same lounge. Warmth swarm in your gut as you played the memories, watching the swaying woman kick her feet up, her head falling back onto the armrest. Returning the rolling pin, now with two glasses of water in your hands, you copied her movements, cautiously sitting yourself besides her laying body, your internal worry begging you to keep some distance between you both.  

“I get wanting to see for yourself, here – drink this,” you passed her a glass, keeping a wary eye on any possible spillage, “but its 3AM Noelle, you scared the shit out of me”  

“It is? Fuck, I didn’t-” interrupted by another hiccup, she carried on, “I didn’t think. I don’t know... I wanted to see you, but I can leave”. Attempting to lift herself from the lounge, you placed your hand in front of her in protest, “No! No, no. You can stay, I'm not letting you go home now. How’d you get here anyway?”  

“I walked from Noen Nights, near Manhattan Valley. Oh my god, we have to go there!” she exclaimed, reaching out and grabbing your hand, swaying it in the air with drunken excitement. You laughed, joy pushing aside the building guilt you felt knowing Noelle walked so far alone - and intoxicated – just to see you.    

“I'm sure we do, but I'd prefer it if next time you caught a cab, in daylight, to get here”  

“Mmmh, whatever you say” she mumbled, releasing the grip on your hand to cross her arms over her, snuggling her head into the pillow behind her. You both sat there in silence, watching over her as her eyes fell shut and her breathing grew heavier.  

You stood quietly, taking the two glasses back into the kitchen and gently placing them in the sink before returning to the resting body, carefully laying Frans knitted blanket over her legs before heading back to your bedroom, eventually dosing back off to sleep.  

Hours later, with the same peeking sunlight shining onto your face, you woke up to the sound of cutlery clattering in the kitchen. Just as you began to panic, you recalled the events of your night and found ease knowing there wasn’t an intruder lurking while you slept. You took a moment to prepare yourself for any possible confrontation from Noelle you desperately wanted to avoid, before leaving your bed, quickly throwing back the blankets neatly before exiting the room.  

As you opened your bedroom door, the creaking from the hinges alerted the woman in the kitchen that you were awake, her head popping around the corner of the hallway to see if she heard correctly.  

Before you had the chance to break the silence, her body skidded from around the corner and jogged directly to yours, her arms stretched out and opened for your embrace. With a small thump, your bodies collided, you returning the gesture and wrapping your arms around her frame. Remaining silent in each other's arms, her squeezing your body tightly, you felt her cough out a small sob before whispering your name, “I can’t believe it”  

Giving in, you returned the strength of her hold on you, your eyes welling with tears as you listened to your old friend cry. The small voice inside you tried to force you to fight it, to reject the feelings swarming inside of you, to not give in. But you simply couldn’t, the wave of love and longing slowly knocking down the walls you built up so long ago.  

“Oh god Noelle, I don’t know what to say. I'm... I'm so so-”  

Leaning backwards, she dropped her arms from your back and placed them on your shoulders. “No, don’t apologise. What happened, happened. We don’t have to get into it. It’s okay. I just can’t believe you’re finally back. Like you're really here” she spoke with a laugh, her hands gesturing to your body up and down.  

“Neither can I, and I can’t believe you’re here too, like here, here” you replied, using your palm to clear your face of the fallen tears.  

“Oh! I almost forgot”, grabbing your wrist, Noelle pulled you through the apartment to the kitchen, the smell of toast filling your nose as you entered, “I made us breakfast. Scrambled eggs on toas- wait, you’re not like vegan or anything now, are you?”  

Shaking your head, you laughed, “No. Not a vegan or anything. Still just me”  

“Oh, thank God. Sorry, I didn’t think to check before I raided your fridge. Anyway, go sit down and I'll serve it up. Go, go”  

Seating yourself at the rounded dining table, you watched as your friend rushed around in the kitchen, internally laughing from the sight of her still in yesterday's clothes, the flashy mini dress looking out of place for such early hours of the day.  

Placing the two plates in front of each other on the table, she briskly walked back to the kitchen to grab mugs and apple juice from the fridge before joining you at the table, sitting directly next to you. “Before you say anything, I wanted to let you know that I made this meal as an apology for showing up the way I did last night”  

“Technically, it was this morning” you replied jokingly, your eyes watching Noelle from the top of your mug as you took a sip.  

“Whatever time it was. Doesn’t matter. But my drunk self couldn’t hold back from coming here, and you also did open the door for me, so I'm not going to entirely blame myself”  

You attempted to intervein but were interrupted before you could say your piece, “However, next time I'll be sure to make a more appropriate arrival. So, I'm sorry” she said with a smile, raising her mug to cheers with yours.  

“But you’re not really sorry, are you Noelle?”  

“Nope. Not at all”, you both laughed, finally digging in to your meals. Within the following hours you finished your breakfast, dismissing your friend to shower and change into a pair of your clothes while you tidied the kitchen. Noelle returning desperate for a coffee wakeup, you both headed out to the café you previously visited the following day, before returning to your flat. There you both lounged on your Grandma’s small couch, catching each other up on the events of your lives over the years, you withholding from discussing your family, not wanting to dampen the joyous mood you were in.  

As you continued to gossip, the time passed with the blink of an eye and before you knew it, the oversized clock on the wall read 4:42PM.  

“Oh shit, I didn’t even realise the time. I hope I'm not holding you back from any plans?” Noelle spoke, her eyebrows furrowing with worry. “No, no plans for me. I’ll probably just cook some dinner and call Grandma, let her know you stopped by”  

“Maybe don’t tell her I came in the middle of the night, you know how she can be”  

“Judgy? Trust me, I know. And I won't, you’re safe”, Noelle thanked you before you continued, “how about you?”  

“I start work in about 4 hours, doing 9pm till 2am. Literally kill me now. You know, if you were to stop by, it would make my shift fly byyyy?” she spoke in a sing-song voice, tilting her head towards you as she wiggled her eyebrows.  

“I don’t think I'm ready to hit the clubs just yet, I'll have to settle in a bit before I start branching out”. A pang of guilt stabbed your stomach as Noelle's face fell for a split second, worry flashing behind her eyes. “Hey, I'll take you up on the offer some day. Just not today. I’m hoping for an uninterrupted sleep tonight anyway” you joked, a laugh escaping her lips as she shoved your arm, the slight tension disappearing from the room.  

“I’ll take you up on that offer then, best believe I'm holding you to it. Well, I think I'm gonna head home, try and cram in a nap before my shift” she spoke, you following her as she stood from the lounge, stretching her arms out over her head. “Just let me grab my dress from the drier, I’ll quickly change then g-”  

“Keep those clothes, really, I don’t mind. I can get them back another day. And I'll call you a cab, just give me one minute” you said, brushing past her and dashing to your bedroom, quickly dialing the number for a taxi before retrieving her clothes from the drier and returning to the loungeroom.  

“Thankyou” she spoke as you passed her the dress as well as your phone, now unlocked.  

“Save your number in there” you smiled, scratching your neck as she began typing on your screen.  

“Here” she passed the phone back to you, “next time I come over drunk, I'll call you beforehand”  

With the sound of a car horn drawing your attention, you headed to the window, peaking out to see the yellow taxi on the street below. “That must be yours” you spoke, quickly darting into the kitchen to grab your wallet, pulling out a $50 note before returning to Noelle now standing at the front entrance.  

Her eyes travelling down to the green bill in your hand, she began rushing to the door, your arm grabbing her shoulder before she could exit. “Nope, nah uh, I don’t want it” she shook her head as she said your name, “I gate-crashed your whole day, I don’t want it”  

“Just take it Noelle”  

“No! I really don’t want it”  

“I feel bad! You walked all this way to see me, let me at least pay for your ride home”  

She watched you, her eyes glaring at yours as she chewed her lips before she finally caved in, “Okay, fine. But when we’re going out, first two rounds of drinks are on me. Deal?” she grabbed the note from your outstretched hand before opening her arms, inviting you into her embrace.  

“Deal”, you said as you wrapped your arms around her, saying your goodbyes. You watched from the door as she made her way down the first set of stairs before pausing, spinning herself around and jogging back up to see you one last time.  

“Don’t forget, you have my number, you can call me. Please don’t be a stranger”  

You smiled, reassuring her that you understood as she turned again, racing down the stairs and out of your eyesight, before sighing as you closed the door shut.  

[murdockussy]

Beyond These Walls

Matt Murdock x Reader Fic

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Chapter Four: Get To Work

words: 2,200+

Leaving the precinct, Matt and Foggy returned to their vacant office where they now stood opposite each other discussing their new case. “It’ll be a gift if they offer us anything, and that gift, Matt, we will take with open arms”  

“I get it, we don’t want this to go to trial,” Matt spoke firmly, both his hands rested on his hips, “but they don’t want this to go to trial either. Think about it. You just laid out all the perfectly reasonable evidence yourself Foggy, so why hasn’t she been charged yet?”  

“Maybe because they have 24 hours to do it, and its past 6pm on a Monday? They’re gonna take every last second before they move”  

“C’mon, this is a golden arrest, it should already be printed out in the papers. Something isn’t right about this case Foggy. I just know it”  

A small burst of laughter came from Foggy as he paused, the baseball he was previously tossing into the air now staying dormant in his hand. “You ‘just know’ it? Well just knowing it isn't going to prove anything” he said, waving his hands around in front of him, “Okay, listen. I'm gonna say this once, and then were moving on”  

Matt shuffled his feet, readjusting his stance as Foggy continued.  

“When it comes to women, you don’t necessarily have the best judgement. Your... perception might not be on the right radar for our client”  

Lowering his head as he laughed, Matt nodded before replying, “Okay, I don’t disagree with yo-”  

“Yes! See, I tol-"

“However, I need you to back me on this Foggy, something is off about this, we both know it”  

With a groan, Foggy slowly walked in a circle, clutching his fists. “Fine. Okay, fine. But were stuck in the mud if we don’t give them an alternative. If she didn’t kill him, who did?”  

“If we have another run with her, maybe she’ll allow us to figure that out”  

The two of them stood silently for a moment, various options swirling through their minds as Foggy hummed, pondering on a thought.  

“What are you thinking?”  

“She might not be guilty, but that doesn’t mean our client is entirely telling the truth”  

“Yeah, that could be it. We just need to give this another shot”  

“Okay. I'm friends with Gary Feinstein at the DAs office, I'll call him first thing in the morning and see what we can do” Foggy spoke, slowly making his way around the other side of Matt's desk, stopping next to him as he placed a grip on Matts shoulder. “But that’ll be tomorrows issue, right now I'm worried about two handsome lawyers that just purchased their own firm and haven’t celebrated it over a meal, what’dya say Murdock?”  

“You’re right” Matt spoke, a smile spreading over his face as he returned the gesture to his friend, “I'm thinking pizza”  

As the following hours passed, the two lawyers ate and relished in pride as they discussed plans for their firm, and recalled the memories that brought them to where they were. They continued their conversation from their own offices, their throats feeling slightly tender as they worked their way through unpacking the many boxes that scattered the floor.  

It wasn’t until long after the sun set, and the beast below Matts bones began to feel restless, that Foggy's phone rang startling the both of them. “Hello?”  

“Mr. Nelson?”  

“Yes, this is he”  

“This is officer Edmund Lui calling from the 15th precinct. You and uh... Mr. Murdock have taken on... Miss Karen Page, as one of your clients?”  

Matt stood still, leaning back against his desk and crossing his arms as he listened in on the phone call.  

“We have, yes”  

“We’re gonna need the both of you to head on down here. There’s been an incident regarding Miss Page”  

***

Turning off the tap, the shower came to a halt. Reaching out and grabbing the nearest towel off the rack, you wrapped it around yourself, securing it under your arm as you stepped onto the cool tiled floor. Using the back of your forearm to clear the steam from the mirror, you clipped your damp hair back and began doing your skincare.  

After putting on a sleep mask and blow drying your hair, you boiled the kettle in the kitchen, preparing some peppermint tea before heading back into the bedroom and changing into a fresh pair of pajamas, throwing last night's clothes, as well as your outfit worn during the day into the washing machine.  

Scrolling mindlessly on your phone, you waited for a few minutes sat on the edge of your bed as the tea brewed. With enough time passing for the drink to be cooled, you grabbed the mug and made your way towards the large window to the right. Fumbling with the latch at the bottom of the glass, you eventually unlocked the rusty metal, the screeching sound of wood rubbing against the window pane sending a chill down your spine as you lifted the window open.  

The cool breeze blew softly onto your skin as you crouched, passing through the open gap and stepping out onto the small fire escape. The uproar of Hell’s Kitchens streets became clearer as you leaned on the edge of the small balcony, sipping your drink watching the bustle of the world around you.  

You stayed in the evening air for what felt like hours, the empty mug resting beside you as you were now seated on the brisk metal of the descending staircase. Although you didn’t want to admit it, being away from your home in San Francisco did feel good, and even though the apartment you were staying in did linger with unwanted memories, the breath of fresh air the city provided was a nice change.  

With a chill drifting around you, you decided it was time to head back inside, checking you locked all entrances into the home and placing the empty glass in the sink before brushing your teeth and heading to bed.  

Your heavy eyes burned as you stared up at the dark ceiling. Although you still felt the somewhat remaining jetlag, topped with the exhaustion from the errands you ran throughout the day, your restless mind continued to keep your drowsy body awake. You tried all that you could; listening to music, flicking through pages of a book Fran had tucked away in her nightstand, even endlessly counting sheep. And just as you’d given up, closing your eyes in defeat as you pondered on why you couldn’t fall asleep, your mind slowly fell silent, finally allowing you to drift off into the bliss.  

***

Matt slowly woke to the sound of Karen's cautious tip-toes though his home, each step growing further in distance. It wasn't until he heard the soft shut of his front door that his eyes shot open, fully alert.  

After the attempted murder of his and Foggy's client, he offered her shelter and safety, allowing her to stay in his apartment, her taking his bed while he slept on the couch. Initially, he struggled to get some much-needed rest with the devil inside him in felling desperate to get out and scavenge the streets for a fight. And although he had the presence of another heartbeat a room away from him, he was only able to nod-off when he was listening to the rhythm of yours.  

Rising from the couch, he tracked Karen's footsteps as she raced down the stairwell, heading for the exit of the building. Beelining for the cupboard under the stairs, he stumbled around until he found the key, opening the doors and unlocking the trunk that laid below, and swiftly changed into the black uniform, slamming the doors closed before heading to the roof. With the heavy rain pouring down onto his masked face, he raced along the rooftops of his neighbouring building, tracking the scent of Karen's skin.  

Each step she took, he closely followed, attentive to her every move as she wound her way through the saturated streets, eventually entering into her own apartment building. Treading up the gloomy stairwell, he felt the second presence watching over her as she now stood in her loungeroom, grasping the USB she retrieved from within the bathroom roof. It wasn’t until the bandit made his move, launching at Karen and knocking her against the wall, withdrawing the knife from his pants after tucking the stolen USB in his pockets that Matt intercepted, charging at the man with full force as the blood-stained Karen watched.  

The two men spun around each other, Matt dodging every swing of the weapon and throwing precise punches on his target. With every hit that landed, the fire within him grew, the beast drinking in and thriving off the fight, egging Matt on to continue. Tossing each other around, walls dented and furniture broken, blood dripping from their split lips, Matt grabbed the man from behind and launched their bodies through the window, freefalling alongside the broken glass and pouring rain onto the construction panels, before his body collided with the concrete below.  

Heavy breaths rippling the blood-mixed puddle he laid dormant in, footsteps approaching him echoing around his ears as the voice deep within him spoke, ���Get to work’.    

After victoriously finishing what was started, Matt approached the drenched, half-conscious body that hung, tangled in chains, and began digging within his clothes. Karen, now caught up with the two, watched from across the lot, blood continuously pouring from the wound on her forehead, struggling to process the events she just witnessed. Drawing the USB from the man's pocket, Matt held it in the air long enough for his unmindful client to see, beginning to back away from the scene until Karen objected.  

“What the hell... Wait stop, stop!”  

“I’ll get this into the right hands” Matt spoke, his voice harsh and rugged.  

“Please, no. You can’t take it to the police! You can’t trust anyone!”  

Turning to face Karen, he momentarily processed her words, thinking over his options before speaking again, “Then we tell everyone. Go to the nearest emergency, I'll do what needs to be done”  

“What do you... Who are-”  

“Don’t make me tell you again. Go. Now!” he shouted, his mind still controlled by the adrenaline and rage swarming within him. Waiting, he tracked Karen as she jogged two street away, listening as she hauled a taxi and directed the driver to the closest hospital.  

With little time to work with until the police would inevitably arrive, he headed back inside Karen's disfigured home, searching through multiple draws until he secured an envelope and safety pin, stuffing the USB inside and signing the paper with ‘EDITOR’ before returning to his victim, releasing him from the chains and bounding his hands together, pinning the package to his jacket.  

An hour later, Matt returned to his apartment, limbs exhausted from dragging the man's body through the dark backstreets of Hell's Kitchen then dumping him on the steps of the New York Bulletin. Stripping himself from his sodden outfit, he tossed it into his washing machine and briskly showered, the inviting warmth of the water bringing forth his underlying exhaustion, feeling in desperate need of a decent rest after the hiccups from the previous nights.  

However, the big man upstairs was yet to grant him with his wish, as when he finally laid in his bed, the monitoring of your pulse yet again bringing him ease, he caught onto the sound of the uneven footsteps approaching your shared floor, the stranger growing closer and closer until stopping, pausing at your front door.  

***

Your eyes shot open at the sound of repeated banging against wood. You sat up and listened, your heart racing at the sudden disturbance as you slowly orientated yourself, your body going stiff as you held your breath, waiting hopefully for the noise to disappear.  

There was a slight pause before the knocking pattern continued, and as the cocktail of adrenaline and fear rapidly mixed through your bloodstream, you decided the fastest option would be to shew away whoever this adamant person was, then to wait for them to leave on their own. Exiting the comfort of your bed, you made a pitstop in the kitchen, grabbing from the closest drawer whatever item you could find first in the poorly lit room. As you approached the front door, you blindly examined your weapon of choice, the cylindrical surface bringing you slight relief as you mumbled to yourself, “a rolling pins better than nothing I guess”.  

Door handle in one hand and rolling pin in the other, you braced yourself for any possible self-defending that might have to take place before fiddling with the lock and slowly opening the door.  

Eyes locking with the person standing before you, you felt the pit of your stomach drop, your jaw following the same action. Exhaling the air you held onto, your lungs feeling breathless from pure shock and disbelief as you stood stiff. Without warning, the person shoved the door open, their arms wrapping tightly around your tense frame causing you both to stumble backwards. A whiff of tequila shot through your nostrils as the head nuzzled into the side of your neck, their slurred words filled with emotion as they spoke, “I can’t believe it, you’re really here. You’re finally home”

[murdockussy]

Beyond These Walls

Matt Murdock x Reader Fic

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Chapter Three: Suspect

words: 2,400+

‘Foggy. Foggy. Foggy.’  

The automated voice shot through Matts ears, his eyes opening as he instantly stretched his arm out to the bed side table to answer the abrupt call. “Hello?”  

“Good morning, sunshine!” Foggy replied with his usual chirpy tone.  

“What time is it?”  

“Half past get the hell up”  

Lifting his half-asleep body to the edge of the bed, Matt groaned as he rolled his head from side to side, the tension in his muscles burning with every tilt. Fighting the weight of his eyelids, he blinked repeatedly in an act to wake himself up as he continued to extend his limbs, the distant rambling of Foggys voice reeling in as he heard his name being called on the other side of the line.  

“Sorry, what’d you say?”  

“C’mon man.” Foggy spoke with a whine, “Please tell me you remember what day it is?”  

“Do you really have such little faith in me keeping my promises, Nelson?”  

“Only if you don’t get there on time, then my faith might be breached. Now hurry up, we meet with the real estate agent in 45”  

With another groan, Matt rose from his warm, silky blanketed bed, pops ripping down his spine as it adjusted to his position. “Okay, I'm getting ready now”  

“By the way, real estate agent - not your type. Very sweet. Homely. Might be genetic, so no need to be charming. Leave that up to me, okay?”  

Before Matt could conjure up a reply, Foggy spoke again with a hurry. “I gotta go, but I'll text you the address. See you in 40, don’t be late Murdock!” he shouted before the connection cut off.  

Placing his phone down, he headed into the bathroom across from the room his bedroom, turning the faucet on to wash his face and brush his teeth. Letting the water run, he took a few deep breaths as he tuned into his body, mentally feeling his way around for any visual evidence of the night before. Pleased with the minimal damage being clear of his face, he flipped the tap off, turning to exit the room when he heard the faint thud of a slow-paced heartbeat.  

Stunned, he observed the surroundings of the source, listening to the rhythm of the soft breaths leaving your mouth and feeling the mass of your sleeping body on the mattress. You.

Strolling into the kitchen, taking two slices of bread out of his almost empty fridge, his mind relayed over the memories from your arrival. The sweet sound of your voice swarmed through his mind as he hastily ate his toast, different depictions of what you might look like, each with their own story, flickering in his imagination as he changed into his grey-blue button up shirt and black slacks.  

Headed to the front door, the chime of a text from Foggy rang from the pocket of his pants. Grabbing his suit jacket, he pulled it on before grabbing his keys, cane, and glasses. Opening the door, he stepped out into the hallway before quietly closing the door behind him. As he stood unfolding his cane, a lingering scent of vanilla and blackcurrant wafted into his lungs. He remained there for a moment, secretly relishing in the fragrant smell, before being interrupted by another text. Snapping out of the trance, he began his journey down the flights of stairs. And he wasn’t sure if it was if it was his hazy morning brain - or the creature inside him lusting for more - but something deep within Matt was begging him to return back to the sweet scent and seek out more.  

***

Hours later, you awoke to the fully risen sun peeking through the teeny crack in the blinds, shining directly onto your face. Squinting your eyes shut, you flipped yourself to the side avoiding the sunlight, releasing a sigh as you reached for your phone on the night stand beside you.  

Tapping the home button, a small bolt of panic surged through you as you saw the time, 11:42am. You didn’t consider yourself as much of an early bird, and arriving to Hell’s Kitchen in the early hours of the morning did leave you feeling exhausted, but you were still adjusted to the time back home, the three-hour difference leaving you disorientated.  

Tossing your phone besides you, you closed your eyes and basked in the warmth of the bed for a while, listening to the distant sound of the bustling streets outside the window while creating a mental to-do list for the day; call Fran, unpack, and get groceries.  

Once you finally left the comfort of your bed, you made your way to the bathroom, brushing your teeth and washing your face, tying your hair back and off your face before placing the remaining toiletries you left out from the night before in the empty drawers below the sink. Staring at your tired reflection in the mirror, contemplating on continuing to unpack the remaining toiletries from your luggage, you decided it would be best to grab a coffee before making your next move. “This isn’t procrastination” you said to yourself quietly, “this is just prioritising”  

Walking out into the loungeroom, you were greeted by the suitcases laying open on the floor, multiple clothing items scattered around close by. Picking out the quickest outfit you could, you swiftly changed from your pyjamas and slipped on the closest pair of shoes, grabbing your phone, wallet and keys before heading outside.  

As you double checked the locked door behind you -Frans threats of always locking the door whispering to you in the back of your mind - you observed the hallway around you, the daylight allowing you to truly examine the building you’d be calling home for the next few months. Hmm, not as scary as it looked last night.  

Working your way down the stairwell, you mapped the closest cafe to you before dialling the most recently called number. A few rings passed by before the call was answered, “Hi Grandma”  

“Finally!” the usual grim voice replied back to you, “I was starting to think you’d forgotten to call me”  

***

Shifting through the boxes on his desk, continuing to sort through the piles of paperwork he’d have to find a home for in his and Foggys new office, he paused as he listened to the voice coming from Foggys phone two rooms away.  

“Has she been charged?”  

“DA assistant hasn’t made the call yet, but this definitely qualifies as interesting”  

“Got any names for the suspect?”  

“Yeah, Page. Karen Page”  

As Foggy turned around to face Matt, watching him pretend to now move boxes from the floor to the desk, he scratched his forehead as he finished the phone call, “We’ll come down now, thanks man.”  

Placing his phone back into his pants, he headed towards Matts side of the office, calling out his name. “I just got a call from Brett down at the precinct”  

“What’d he say?” Matt lied, placing his hands on his hips as he listened to Foggy retell what he already overheard.  

“They got a suspect for homicide, her names Karen Page. She was found at the scene but hasn’t been charged yet. Wants us to go down there now”  

Walking around to the other side of the room, he felt his way along the desk until his hands made contact with his cane. Grabbing it, he tightened his tie before he met Foggy at the door. “We better get going then”  

***

Wiping the bead of sweat from your forehead, you stood at the front of the apartment door catching your breath as you swapped the phone from your hand to your shoulder, your warm cheek securing it in place as you smoothly dropped the numerous grocery bags to the ground.  

“Yes, I'm okay. Just unfit” you spoke, pulling the key out from your back pocket and unlocking the door, carrying the bags inside and shutting it with the heel of your foot.  

“You won’t stay that way for long” spoke Fran, “before you know it, those stairs will grow on you”  

“I don’t know how you do it, having no elevator is practically torture” you said as you headed into the kitchen, chucking the groceries onto the bench and washing your hands.  

“Well Hell’s Kitchen isn't San Francisco, sweetie. You’ll adjust to it all. Just like I will here. Your bed worked wonders on my back by the way”.

The conversation carried on for a while longer as you unpacked the groceries, Fran continuously pointing out all the differences between the two of your apartments before you both bidden your goodbyes and parted ways.  

Now sat on the cool wooden floor in the bedroom, you shuffled through multiple albums on your phone, tossing it onto the bed when you reached a decent one. Dragging the suitcase closer to you, you began unpacking the piles of clothes, folding some into the vacant dresser and hanging the others in the cupboard.  

***

Matt thanked the detectives as they uncuffed the woman sat across from him, waiting for the two men to desert the room before taking a seat, leaving Foggy and himself with their suspect. Politely introducing himself to the woman, he could feel the tension radiating from her shaken body as they both sat themselves down.  

“We understand you’re in some trouble, and if you’ll allow us, were here to help” he spoke, folding his hands in front of him as Foggy opened a notepad and placed it on the table. As Foggy began questioning the unresponsive Karen, moving to then retell what they know about the case, Matt observed her, feeling the glare from her puffy eyes burning into him. As the victim's name left Foggys lips, Matt could taste the fear that exhaled from her breath, knowing the man’s name struck something inside her. “Mr. Fisher appears to be the victim of a homicide, and Miss Page, you're the only suspect they have. Our advice - this isn’t the best position for you to be in”  

“Who the hell are you two? Who sent you?”  

“This is Foggy, and my names Matt. An-”  

The jolly tone of Foggys voice interrupted Matt, “No one sent us, were just a couple of good samaritans and todays your lucky day...” he said with a smile before mumbling “And I might’ve bribed a sergeant with a box of cigars for him mum”  

Turning his head towards Foggy, Matt mumbled “You gotta stop giving Bess cigars” before returning his attention towards Karen. “We are actively seeking clientele due to our practice being relatively young”  

“How long have you been lawyers?”. The two men mumbled amongst themselves, Foggy checking his watch and whispering “12:22am”  

“About four hours” Matt toyed with a smirk, answering Foggys objection with “Going off from when we got our own desks. And if you were to hire us, that’ll put you in the position of being our first client”  

“I don’t... I don’t have any money” Karen stuttered solemnly, scratching her neck as she stared at the metal table between them. With Foggy now standing, thanking the suspect for her time, Matt reached out and gripped his friend's arm, clearing his throat as he nodded for Foggy to return to his seat.  

“And we don’t have any clients, Miss Page. Maybe we can help each other, starting with you telling us how you knew Mr. Fisher?”  

***

Stuffing the duffle bag into the remaining suitcase, you zipped the opening closed and rolled it into the closet alongside the remainder of your now empty luggage. Folding your arms across your chest, you couldn’t help but faintly smile as you observed your surroundings, the apartment looking livelier than ever. With the curtains open and your favourite candles burning, the somewhat bleak and stuffy penthouse slowly began to feel like home. Or smell like it at least.    

Reading the time from the oversized clock on the wall, 3:17pm, you realised how desperate you were in need of a rest. Plopping yourself into the corner of the couch, you pulled your grandmas knitted blanket over your crossed legs and flicked on the tv. Surfing through channels, you decided on a mindless reality tv show for background noise as you began researching what you could about Hell’s Kitchen.  

Time passed as you lounged, reading through home and lifestyle articles, as well as some food blogs and YouTube videos, and you kept notes of various restaurants and stores you intended of visiting. Although you knew you eventually wanted to branch out and uncover more of what New York has to offer, you were happy to settle for what Hell’s Kitchen had in sore for you for the meantime.  

Redirecting your focus back to the TV, you watched the remainder of the episode and checked the clock that now read 5:23pm. Switching off the TV, you placed the remote on the small coffee stand in front of the lounge and sluggishly relocated yourself to the kitchen, opening the full fridge and pulling out the ingredients to make a quick stir-fry.  

Once you were finished making your meal, you scooped the various vegetables from the pan into a bowl and made your way to the round dining table. You began eating, zoning out as you ate your dinner, listening to the sounds of sirens passing by below the closest window, watching slowly as the shadow from your building grew taller onto the apartment block adjacent to yours.  

Finding yourself at a pause within your busy day, having no unpacking or electronics as a distraction, you finally took the time to absorb your surroundings, something deep down you secretly wanted to avoid, but couldn’t seem to stop once you started. The most obscure details of your grandmas flat began flooding your mind with memories. From the chipped paint on the corners of the ceiling, to the uneven legs of the TV stand, and the stained kettle that remained the same after so many years, each miniscule feature of the apartment suffocated you with nostalgia. Dropping the fork into the almost empty bowl, you burrowed your head into your hands as your breathing grew heavier, the painful ache in your heart bringing tears to your eyes.  

“Stop it” you whispered, shaking your head as you blinked the tears away, “don't do this to yourself”.  

In desperate need of a distraction, you removed yourself from the table and grabbed your phone, bringing it, as well as your bowl and cutlery into the kitchen, distracting yourself with a podcast as background noise as you began washing up the pots and pans you used while cooking your meal, pushing your worked up emotions back down deep inside you.  

[murdockussy]

Beyond These Walls

Matt Murdock x Reader Fic

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Chapter Two: Apartment 6B

words: 1,300+

“...And if you threaten any other person on these streets, trust that I will know, and I will find you”

Releasing the grip he held on the blood-stained shirt, the man thumped to the ground, his half-conscious body rolling to its side as he groaned in pain. A satisfied smirk hung itself across Matts lips as he retreated from his victim, breaking out into a light jog as he headed for the closest fire escape stairwell.

A few days had passed since Matts last interaction with Foggy, and given the excuse of his absence from any face-to-face interaction has lasted so long, he’s been spending his days training at Fogwells Gym and his nights fighting crime in the shadows. And although multiple cuts and bruises were scattered along his skin, the creature inside him had never felt more satisfied.

Quietly working his way up the building, the higher he climbed, the cooler the early morning breeze blew onto his damp shirt, easing the burn of the muscle's underneath. Once he reached the peak, he lifted himself over the brick trimming, a huff pushing past his lips as his feet connected with the solid ground below him. Although adrenaline still pumped through his veins from the eventful evening, his body grew more and more worn out with every break between each fight.

Allowing his hearing to expand all around him, he scanned every street corner, listening out for any sense of threat that still might've been lurking. Satisfied with the calmness that met his ears, he began his journey home, launching himself off the edge of the rooftop.

Once he arrived back inside the safety of his apartment, he went through his usual post-vigilante-ritual; shower, put clothes in washing machine, set alarm for next morning, head to bed.

It wasn’t until hours after successfully avoiding the commotions of the neighbourhood around him that Matt was abruptly awoken from his sleep to a disturbance out in the hallway. Stiffly sitting upright in his bed, his head fell into a tilt as he zoned in on the sudden fuss.

***

“Yes, I can see it. Yes, 6B. I'm headed to the door now” you hushed into the phone balanced between your shoulder and cheek, the voice on the other side of the line muffled behind the sound of your heavy breathing. “Yes, the green door”, you spoke, huffing as you continued to roll the two heavy suitcases behind you, “I'm about to head inside, let me find the keys and I'll call you ri-... No, there's no one following m-... Yes, I'm sure. I’ll call you right back, okay, bye”

***

Furrowing his eyebrows, the static voice on the opposite end of the phone call rang through Matts mind as he tried to pin point who it may have been, the grim tone of the woman sounding awfully familiar.

***

Placing your phone in your back pocket, you gently dumped the heavy duffle bag from your left shoulder to the ground, using your now free hand to rummage through the full handbag that hung on your right. “Shit, I knew I should've organized this better” you cursed to yourself as you continued to shuffle the multiple objects around, releasing a deep breath when your fingers brushed against the cool metal of the key. Placing the key into the lock, you twisted the door handle open, the heavy wood leaning against your back as you struggled to keep it open while you dragged your luggage inside.

Using the dim hallway light to guide you, you danced your hand blindly across the wall until you found the light switch, flicking it on, bringing life to the apartment. Pushing the multiple bags further into the entrance, you quietly closed the front door, locking it behind you before pulling the phone from your pants and redialing the most recently called number.

“Hello... Yes I made it inside safely” you spoke softly, folding your arm across your chest as you began walking around the space. With your eyes glancing over the furniture and décor that filled the home, a feeling of warmth and awe swelled inside you. This place hasn’t changed a bit.

“Great. Now I've left some fruits and milk in the fridge for you, got them right before I left so they’ll still be in good use for some time, but I did leave some money for you to do a grocery shop. The envelope under the bowl on the table is where it should be, check if it's there.”

Approaching the table, you shuffled aside one of the seats as you leant forward, grabbing the white envelope peaking from under the large ceramic bowl. Lifting the flap, your lips parted in shock as you stared down at the stack of notes in your hand. “This is a lot more than just grocery money, this is more like weeks worth of rent! You really didn-”

“Stop that nonsense. It's my home, so you will accept what I've left for you”, the stern tone of the receiving voice made you roll your eyes.

“Okay. Fine, fine. And I really do appreciate it, thank you” you replied, closing the envelope and placing it on the table surface.

Still taking in the nostalgic sights around you, a silent yawn escaped from your lips as you stretched, your tired limbs beginning to ache from not only the five-hour flight you endured, but the struggle of lugging your belongings up six flights of stairs. Removing the phone from your ear, you tapped on the screen to check the time, the early morning hours bringing a new wave of exhaustion onto you. Lifting it back to your ear, you sighed as you softly spoke into the device, “Well, guessing that you’re fully adjusted to the time here, I think its best I let you get some rest”

“Okay sweetie. You head to bed too now”

“Trust me, I wil-”

“And if anything at all happens tonight, don’t hesitate to call me”

“Yes, yes, I won-”

“And I'll be expecting a call from you as soon as you wake up”

“Of course, first thin-”

“And don’t forget to keep the front door locked, promise me you’ll lock it”

“Okay! I promise its locked, no one's getting in” you spoke with a laugh, shaking your head as the rambling on the other end continued.

“Oh! And before I forget, I left a spare key with the man next door, so should you ever loose mine – which I trust you not too – there's always one there. But try not to need the spare, that man's always causing a ruckus, so best you avoid it”

“Alright, avoid him, gotcha” you lied, unphased by her caution having known she’s always been judgy of all people in her life, “Well, I appreciate you checking in on me, and I'll call you first thing in the morning”

“I'll be waiting for your call. Sleep well sweetie”

“You too Grandma. Goodnight”

***

“Grandma?” Matt questioned to himself, his body back in its original relaxed position, his arms folded behind his head as he listened to your conversation. As you both bounced back and forth each sentence to one another, he relayed through any memorable interactions with Fran. Not that there we’re many - or many that were pleasant - but never has he picked up on her mentioning family, nor had he heard anyone repeatedly visit his neighbour in all his time living in the apartment building.

Allowing his internal questioning on the topic to slowly slip from his mind, he rested into his silky pillows as he tracked your movements across the hall, faintly listening as you mumbled to yourself while you prepared for bed. And as he finally drifted back to sleep for the second time that night, the last thing he remembered hearing was the delicate drumming of your heartbeat.

[murdockussy]

Beyond These Walls

Matt Murdock x Reader Fic

Summary:

Lawyer by day, masked vigilante by night, Matt Murdock found himself growing familiar with his not-so-normal lifestyle. But nothing prepared him for what would happen once you – his new neighbour – entered his life.

In the works, will be actively updating

Loosely follows the daredevil TV show timeline, has it's own twists to it as well

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Chapter One: The Devil Is Born

words: 1,500+

Minute by minute, as the sky grew darker shades of blue, the devil itched to be released from its cage.

Subconsciously counting the tap, tap, taps of his cane, Matt continued down his usually route home along the sidewalk as he switched the phone in his hand from one ear to the other. “...Plus, it's almost directly above where that pizza place burnt down a few months back”

The sing-song tone of Foggys voice bringing a smirk to his face.

“The ‘best double stuffed crust’ place?”

“Yes! Exactly the one. And maybe we could push for a price adjustment due to construction, or noise pollution”

“Or the haunting of the 'double stuffed crust' ghost” Matt spoke, a laugh escaping through the exhale of his nose.

“I'm being serious Murdock, and let's not mock the deceased, it was a terrible loss for all of us”

Weaving his way through the bustling crowd, he made a left, reaching the home stretch of his journey. “I know I know, sorry. But given its also in the center of Hell’s Kitchen, I doubt construction or noise will affect the pricing. This is still New York"

"Well, I hate to break it to you pal, but were running pretty low on options"

Tilting his head, the devilish feeling inside Matt rose at the faint wailing of sirens in the far distance. Pushing it aside, realigning his focus on the smacks of his cane on the pavement, he sighed into the mobile.

"We'll find somewhere Foggy, that’s within our budget"

Approaching his apartment building, Matt quickly snapped his cane into a fold, tucking it under his arm, using his free hand to push open the building door. Once he made it inside, he began his ascend up the stairwell.

"Easier said than done, buddy. Plus, this is the third viewing you haven't come to, how can we choose the perfect Nelson and Murdock home if half the team is M.I.A. Speaking of, how are you feeling by the way?"

A small wave of guilt washed over Matt as the words left Foggys mouth. If a night of vigilante activities headed more south than anticipated for Matt, he'd often try to avoid any face-to-face interaction with his best friend, an easy cop out from needing to give an explanation about the dark purple bruises that formed on his skin.

Only it was at times like this, where viewing these potential residencies for their dream shared law firm, arose shame deep within Matt, because he wanted to be there equally as much as Foggy wanted him there.

But avoiding the truth was always easiest in Matts mind.

"I can't seem to shake the sore throat just yet, but other than that most of the flu symptoms have gone" Matt spoke, sticking to the excuse he created on the earlier Thursday when he turned down a previous location viewing. "And next listing I'll be there, not that viewing is my specialty but I'll be there to trust your judgement"

The lingering guilt washed away from below Matts skin at the sound of Foggys laughter through the phone.

"And trusting my judgement you shall do, but I want you to promise me"

"You want me to promise you?"

"Don’t mock me, Murdock" Foggy spoke, the jolly tone still present underneath his false sternness.

"Fine, I swear to you I'll avoid any further illness prior to the next viewing”

“Matt!”

“I'll be there, I promise"

They continued their conversation as Matt worked his way up to the sixth floor, cutting the conversation short as he reached walkway leading to his apartment door. "...And don’t forget, next office opening is-"

"Monday at 8am, I know. You have my word Foggy, I'll be there"

After saying their goodbyes, Matt pulled out the set of keys from his pocket and opened the front door. Once inside, he kicked off his white trainers and stripped himself of the damp hoodie, hanging it on an empty hook off his wall, goosebumps raising on his arms as the cool apartment air struck his sweaty skin.

Walking down the small hallway entrance of his home, he removed the round glasses from his face and placed them, as well as his folded cane, next to the envelope that remained untouched, sitting still in the position he left it after having Foggy read out the note left inside, alongside the key almost identical to his own.

After a tedious night of sweeping clear Hell’s Kitchens streets of any threat and harm, Matt returned home in the early hours of the morning to find an onymous envelope slid underneath his front door. Unable to make out the note left attached beside the key, he made sure to bring the parcel with him the following day to an office opening with Foggy.

“It's from Fran across the hall, says she’s having someone stay at her place for the next few months and to keep this spare key at yours until she returns. No sign of a secret camera built in, but I'd keep cautious around it if I were you Murdock, you know how Fran can be”. And with the following days going by with no signs of movement in his neighbour's apartment, Matt disregarded the envelope, keeping it aside and out of his way.

Entering the open floored loungeroom, the closer he approached the broad windows, the more the sound of pedestrians roaming the streets below grew clearer, an indication the sun still was yet to set – the creature inside of him growing even more desperate to claw its way out.

It had been a few months now since Matt took on this double life of his. Attorney at law by day, masked vigilante by night. The more he ventured out into the dark, beating any crime present in the streets of his city, the more he grew accustomed to it. It was becoming a routine, but that routine also held its own flaws.

The more Matt acted on his instincts, the stronger the darker side of him grew. The sound of police sirens driving past, of screams on sidewalks streets away, of glass shattering in a residence's kitchen, day or night, these sounds made the animal inside of him grow hungrier. And the hungrier it grew, the more damage he would do to the people that caused it.

The first time Matt allowed the devil inside him to slip through the cracks, to beat the father who assaulted his daughter every night in the building down the block, he knew something inside him flicked like a switch.

The scent of the man's blood spilled across Matts red stained bandaged hands made him sick to his stomach, they trembled with every sharp inhale he took as he backed away from the unconscious body. Skillfully jumping over rooftops and lurking through the shadows of dark alleys, he returned unseen to the security of his homes four walls, and immediately broke down. He cursed at himself, washing the blood from his clothes as guilt from what his dad would’ve thought - what the big man upstairs would’ve thought - began to suffocate him.

But what made him feel most guilty was that deep down, he didn’t feel guilty at all. He enjoyed the pride and relief he felt, and relished in the adrenaline that pumped through his veins with each contact his fists made with the man's face.

And what gave him the most satisfaction over all was that every night for the month that followed, as the broken man laid in hospital being fed through a straw, Matt and the little girl in her home a block away had never slept better - peacefully and content.

Since that night, Matt couldn’t stop himself from allowing that hidden side of him to chase that feeling over and over. Knowing he truly felt no remorse for the criminals of the night, he continued to stalk, hunt, beat and threaten the people who posed any threat to Hell’s Kitchen knowing it would keep his people, his city, safe.

And tonight would be no different from the rest.

After taking a hot shower, washing away the sweat from his workout at Fogwells Gym, Matt microwaved a leftover Thai dish and slumped on his couch, listening to the slowly softening bustle of the city below. As the following hours passed by, he dropped in on different conversations as if he was channel surfing on a TV. And as the night drew closer, the friendly dinners, late work meetings and evening strolls slowly transformed into drunken slurs, car alarms and arguments between roommates.

Eavesdropping on the drunken shouts of a man stumbling through a carpark three streets away, harassing a man approaching his car, Matt knew it was finally time. Rising from the couch and making his way to the cupboard below the staircase leading to the roof, he unlocked the metal doors and opened the chest resting on the floor. Lifting the false bottom, he removed his outfit from the hidden compartment and swiftly changed into the tight, black long-sleeved tee, pants and boots. Mask in hand, he jogged up the small staircase.

Holding his breath for a small moment, he tilted his head as he searched with his senses for any sign of moment beyond the door. Once the coast was clear, he slipped the mask onto his head, pulling it snuggly over his eyes and nose before walking out into the cool air blowing on the secluded rooftop, slamming the heavy door shut behind him.

[murdockussy]

Hi besties!! Just a little update - i'm loving all your requests so far and i'm having an absolute blast writing them all out for you!

However, i'm leaving for a small holiday tomorrow so for the next week or so i’ll be posting my DAREDEVIL fic i've had out for awhile on my ao3. It's still a work in progress, and its fairly new, but trust me - its gonna get juicy ;)

So while i'm away you'll be getting matt murdock only content, but i'm still open to and will continue to work on (when i get home) all my requests you're all left for me.

Thankyou for all your support so far!! If you're interested in requesting a fic for yourself, head to my masterlist to read more about it! I’m open to practically anything! I hope ur all well and i can't wait for you to see whats to come!! Ily :))

[murdockussy]

she-hulk | 1x08: ribbit and rip it

who’s this asshole?

[murdockussy]

hi, I hope that you're goood!!

so since you're doing requests, could you please write a smut for anakin where the reader and anakin are on a republic cruiser and they start teasing one another under the table while going through battle strategies. The reader is also female and is thick but flat in the front ig?

anyways thank you so much ml <3

Hi! I hope you're doing good as well! I finished this request and double checked what you asked for, and I completely missed the part of teasing Anakin,, so this is abit one sided, however I'm always open to a part two?? ( maybe a lil revenge moment :'))) ) I'm so sorry its not exactly what you requested, but I hope you enjoy it none the less!! <333

(Head to my masterlist to read more about requests!)

Pay Attention

Warnings: practically all smut, teasing in public, unintentional edging?? HAHAH just smut things :)

Words: 2,600 ish

To say the least, you were bored. Your eyes focused on the face of the table in front of you, your surrounding peers zoned out as you watched the moving reflections of the scratched metal surface. 

It was the same circumstance for each battle you’ve ever walked into. It would start with the exact position you were currently in – your team conjuring a well strategized plan of attack – only for your cards to topple, leaving yourself, Kenobi or Skywalker to take matters into your own hands.  

Previously, you wouldn’t have much of an issue with it, you having full faith in your Jedi accomplices. But things we’re becoming different, those differences caused by the man besides you – Anakin. 

Though he has tried to deny it to the Council, to his Master, to you and to himself, on late missions he has been blinded by ignorance. The moment cracks would form in your teams plans, he’d instantly take initiative, leading his best men into dangerous situations without second though, situations that could easily be avoided.  

At first, you thought his brash actions were a way to impress you, him wanting to flaunt his abilities to the girl he’d just recently caught the eye of. And it worked for a short while, him proud of his efforts by leaving you awestruck. But as time drew on, his need for success grew stronger, him no longer acting out for the hopefulness of impressing anyone, or even keeping the people of the republic safe. He did it for his own selfish reasons, ones you continuously failed to understand. 

Though, you did have to give him some credit. No matter what obstacles he faced, he somehow managed to work a way around them, and no matter how tough times got, he always found a way to come out on top basking in success. So given that you knew there would be a high likelihood of your group succeeding in the mission your republic cruiser was flying towards, you decided to go without listening in, your lack of awareness catching Anakin's attention from beside you. 

“Something on your mind?” 

The small whisper beside your ear caused you to jolt in your seat, the movement so minor that only Anakin noticed, a small smile pulling at his lips. 

“No” you replied bluntly, your eyes now forward, you pretending to watch the conversation play out between Obi-Wan and the Commander. 

“You know, you really should be paying attention to these meetings” he teased, his gloved hand gently placing itself just above your knee, his fingers giving your clothed skin a light squeeze. 

“Please, we both know this is pointless” you whispered, your head tilting towards him, his frame shifting so he was now leaning closer to you. 

“And why’s that?” 

“Because if all fails, you’ll take control, just like you always do” 

You used your best efforts to remain calm as his hand traced up your leg, his eyes slowly creeping to face yours as he spoke, his voice deepening with its hushed tone. 

“I thought you liked it when I took control” 

Biting back a smile, you shook your head as you scoffed his name under your breath, “Anakin!” 

“Well I'm not wrong, am I?” 

“Sorry Sir, did you say something?” one of the armored men on the opposite side of the table spoke, the room falling silent as all heads turned to face the man beside you. 

Anakin slightly straightened his posture, his hand continually increasing up your legs as he spoke to the room with the shake of his head, “No, just clearing my throat. You may continue”  

Obi-Wan's eyebrow rose with question as he locked eyes with you, you internally panicking as you gave him a subtle nod, his eyes moving to the hologram displayed beside him as his voice drew back the attention of the room, “Very well then, as I was saying...” 

The interruption from yours and Anakin's brief discussion had you suddenly very alert, aware of your surroundings now more than before, and the weight of his ever so slowly moving hand had you feeling extremely on edge.  

Not wanting to draw any further attention to yourselves, you attempted to shake his hand from your thigh with a wiggle of your leg as you shifted in the seat, him paying no mind to it as he continued. You waited momentarily before trying again, a burn within your core igniting as his palm danced closer to the place you suddenly craved him. 

With a final attempt to stop him, you caught his smug face in the corner of your eye, his eyes firm on the hologram spinning in front of him, him seeming to have his mind focused on the words spoken between the Commander and Kenobi, however his lips told a different story – the corner of his mouth upturned slightly, his subtle smirk telling you all you needed to know. 

You shifted your torso to lean towards his frame, your faces closer than before as you practically leant against him, your face forward as you whispered for only him to hear, “What are you doing?” 

You caught the swift movement of his eyes, his pupils flickering down to the placement of his hand before returning forward, the smirk on his lips growing wider. 

“Anakin...” you grumbled lowly, him responding to your warning tone. 

“Shhh. Pay attention” 

“This isn’t funny anymore” you said, your eyelids fluttering with weakness as his hand slid even closer, him now inches away from warmth. 

“Yet you’re not stopping me...” 

Sighing through your nose, you bit the inside of your cheek as you thought of a defense, you lost for words because in all honesty, he was right, you secretly wishing for him to continue. 

“Just as I thought” he whispered as his head turned slightly to face yours, his breath directly above your ear sending ripples of chills across your back. With the final drag of his hand, his palm now rested directly above the destination he was aiming for, the pull of your thighs against one another preventing him from dipping any further. 

“You want this?” he questioned, his eyes flickering between the room in front of him and yours as he waited for your reply, you cranking your head slightly to meet his gaze as you gave him a brisk nod. 

“Words” he demanded, you internally groaning before responding. 

“Yes” 

“Good. Now spread your legs for me” 

You hesitated momentarily, the risks if the situation you we’re about to partake in becoming very real. You we’re about to allow Anakin to pleasure you not only publicly, but in a room full of the people nearest to him. If a single person we’re to catch just a glimpse of what was happening beneath the table, not only would yourself and Anakin be completely mortified, but your future with the Order would be thrown out the window. 

Yet, the idea of it all - the danger and wrongness of doing something so provocative in front of those who could catch you – turned you on to a point of no return, and given the impatient attempts of Anakin's hands desperate to explore what was waiting for him between your thighs, you understood he wanted to do this just as much as you did, your legs separating slightly giving him full freedom to roam. 

“That’s my girl” he mumbled, his head facing forward as his hand dipped lower, applying a heavier pressure as he went. Your body stiffened with pleasure, and you used what focus you could to remain unsuspicious, though you couldn’t stop your eyes from zoning in on Anakin's features as his fingers began to work against you. 

He caught your awestruck gaze from the corner of his eye, him pausing his movements while speaking to you to ensure his words would get through your clouded mind. 

“Don’t look at me baby. Keep your eyes on them” he whispered, and you quickly shifted your stare back to the meeting in hopes of him continuing, his motions starting up once more when he was satisfied with your composure. 

Slowly, he cupped his palm against you, the pressure of his movements firm as he rubbed back and forth, your pulse increasing as he did so, your need for more growing desperate with each passing moment. You knew that there was no way out, no excuse great enough that would get both Anakin and yourself away from this meeting, so you did what little you could to ease your needs and spread your legs further. 

Anakin immediately caught onto your gesture, him scoffing beneath his breath as he pressed in between your clothed folds with his fingers, you jaw falling slack as he did so. His digits stroked you back and forth, him skillfully avoiding the bundle of nerves that was aching to be touched causing you to slyly buck onto his hand. 

“Try not to move” he muttered in your ear as his face remained forwards. 

“Then stop teasing me” 

“Don’t pretending you aren’t enjoying this” 

Your eyes rolled at his comment, his smirk never faulting as he continued his agonizingly slow movements. As time passed, minutes began to feel like hours, and your need for him to satisfy you was an ever-growing crave, one you we’re considering to never be satisfied, though he had different plans. 

Startled by the sudden rise of his voice, your head whipped to face him, your body stiff as you discretely attempted to remove his hands from your body as all eyes in the room slowly fell onto the man beside you. Yet your attempts we’re met with an equal match, his pressure even stronger against you now more than before as he continued to slide his fingers between your folds. 

“With all due respect, Master” he announced, interrupting the discussion between Kenobi and the several other men in the room, “Doesn’t marching in head first seem a bit... predictable?” 

Waves of pleasure coursed through your body as he continued to work against you while addressing the room. With every functioning muscle in your body, you tried your best to remain calm, your fists clenched as you controlled your breathing. 

“Well maybe... however-” 

“The most logical way to go about this would be to spread into threes. Two groups from the side, one from the back, then not only would they be caught off guard, but surrounded well enough to the point of having no choice but to surrender” 

While the two men bickered over battle strategies, Anakin's fingers slowly drifted north, his fingertips now dancing around your clothed clit, your patience wearing thin as your focused slowly blurred, the little grip you had on yourself slowly drifting away, until the call of your name snapped you back to the reality of your situation. 

“I believe you mentioned once using this method of attack during an invasion on Felucia” Anakin said, his eyes glairing down onto your surprised ones as his fingers finally massaged the place you craved him most, you inhaling sharply as he did so, “Tell us, was that a success or not?” 

You watched him blankly, filled with complete disbelief as all eyes in the room were now on you while waiting for your response.  

“I.. I- um" you sputtered, your eyes remaining glued to Anakin's, his features smothered with pride as he began to work against your clit faster, your voice shaky as you spoke, “Y-yes, it was successful” 

“And what of the casualties?” Obi-Wan asked, your face burning an even deeper shade of red as you responded to him. 

“There weren’t any” 

“So, what you’re saying is not only was it safe, but successful?” Anakin asked, your legs drawing together in attempts to contain yourself as you turned to face him once more. 

“Yes, exactly” you mumbled, the pitch of your voice rising causing the devilish look in Anakin's eyes to sparkle as he gave you a smug nod before returning to converse with Kenobi. Eyes now off you, you slumped back into your seat, propping your elbow against the armrest and bringing your hand to your face to shield yourself from any further embarrassment. 

The two men flew suggestions and comments back and forth for a while after as Anakin continued his speedy movements, you growing squirmish as you began to climb to your high, your hips freely meeting the pressure of his fingers as you grinded onto his hand.  

Only after they met an agreement did Obi-Wan turn his attention back towards the hologram beside him, and Anakin back towards you, him watching you from the corner of his eye. 

“It seems like somebody's enjoying themselves” he teased as he copied your position, his body tilting to rest against yours as he slumped in his seat. 

“I’ll kill you for that, Skywalker” 

“Oh really? I highly doubt that” he teased, the rotation of his fingers circling in a new direction causing you to gasp under your breath, him finding your pleasure even more appealing, “You see, I think you enjoyed that more than you’re willing to admit” 

Now struggling to contain your jolts of pleasure, you bit the inside of your mouth and squeezed your eyes closed as you hid behind your hand, Anakin's tone alongside the sensation of his breath against your ear not helping with your situation at all. 

“All eyes on you, the threat of being caught” he whispered, his speed steady as your presence in the room began to blur, a knot building in the pits of your stomach as you neared your peak pleasure, “You were just about lapping that up, weren’t you?” 

You couldn’t do any more than release the breath you were holding onto, Anakin sensing your closeness, him continuing his sultry words in attempts to bring you to the very edge. 

“You want to speak so badly, let out exactly how good I make you feel, don’t you baby?” 

Your knuckles now bone white from the clenching of your fists, your body slowly started to lose all control, your breaths shooting out in quiet bursts as your legs began to slightly shake. Your head felt as though it was spinning as you neared your climax, Anakin continuing to talk his way through to your quickly approaching bliss. 

“You’re so close...” he said, his eyes dancing between his hand lost in your crotch beneath the table and the scenes playing out in front of him, his possessive side ensuring no eyes we’re on you as you came close to your orgasm, him wanting that moment to forever be for his eyes only. 

“I know you want to let go, but you have to be quiet. Your sweet sounds are only for me, no one else. Gods, I wish I could hear them right now” 

Egged on by his words and rapid movements, you were now on the very edge of your climax, the room around you complete shut out, the only attention you held being Anakin's voice and fingers as you reached your peak, about to fall into your highly anticipated bliss before all sensations came to a halt, Anakin's fingers slipping from between your folds and his words now only a fresh echo in your memory. 

Your eyes shot open in immediate anger, you dropping the shielding hand from your face to scold the man beside you, onto to find him, as well as every other presence in the room now rising from their seats. Apprehensive and confused, the sounds of chatting now flooded your ears as the cloned men began exiting the room behind Obi-Wan, yourself now the only person seated while Anakin stood beside you, his face as smug as ever as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

“We’ve been ordered to prepare for landing” 

You slowly rose from your seat, body weak and emotions high as you glared him down, him letting out a chuckle as he began backing out of the now vacant room, “Hey! Don’t blame me, this is beyond my control. Besides, you can rid your pent-up frustration's out there on the battle field. Now let’s go” 

[murdockussy]

EWAN McGREGOR & HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN in OBI-WAN KENOBI: A Jedi’s Return (2022)

[murdockussy]

Could we get something sweet and spicy with obi-wan? Maybe he sees the reader for the first time since the order fell apart?

Absolutely loved writing this one! Thankyou for your request, and I hope you love it!!

(Head to my masterlist to read more about requests :))

Hearts Finally Mending

Warnings: death references, a lil ROTS sadness, and SMUT SMUT SMUT

Words: 7,000 ish (sorry not sorry)

Whoever said ‘you heal with time’ was a complete liar. For your case, anyway. 

Three years had passed since the fall of the Order, and with each day that went by, your heart did anything but heal. It was as if it was doing the complete opposite, an ever-growing ache expanding in depth, you unable to shake the grief you felt for all that remained lost – your home, your friends, and the man you’d thought you’d have by your side forever. 

Recruited to the temple, you spent the most of your teen years training alongside your fellow Jedi, though you never seemed to connect with your peers in the ways they connected with one another, them bonding over the excitement of assignments and battle, whereas you found yourself uninterested.  

You preferred a less chaotic lifestyle, leaning towards a path of serenity over battlefields, and once you passed your dreaded trails of becoming a Jedi knight, you ditched the off-planet missions for peacekeeping in the libraries. And though many would think of that occupation to be too tedious, you took on your simple duties with great pride, finally gaining a sense of belonging after so many years of feeling outcasted. 

As time went on, your comfortability grew as you bonded with the fellow librarians, you grateful for your steady and smooth sailing occupancy, enjoying the bliss you’d found yourself wrapped up in. Though everything changed the day you eavesdropped in on a groaning teen, intrigued by the stern elder voice that hushed the boys whines – the day you fell head over heels for Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

Sticking to your job, you assisted the two on locating the whereabouts of books for the younger boy – Anakin’s - training, cheeks flushed and words sputtering as you guided them through the endless rows of shelves. Obi-Wan humbly thanked you, his kind eyes locking with yours sending waves of adrenaline across your skin, you dashing away before you had the chance to embarrass yourself further, Obi-Wan's eyes lingering on your behind as you walked away. 

And from that day onwards, Obi-Wan made it his own personal mission to stop by the library more frequently in hopes to gain any form of interaction with the girl that completely caught his interest, that lingered in his thoughts each day like a thick cloud he couldn’t shew away – you. 

In the beginning, every interaction was nothing more than friendly, though you both knew that there was an expending connection you each felt, afraid yet desperate to act on it. You’d find yourselves tucked away in the furthest depths of the library, you pretending to assist Obi-Wan with research as you’d sit beside him, flutters in your hearts and hands finding any way to make feathery contact with each other, whispered flirtation lost within the pages of the stacks of books that surrounded you both.  

Though as fun and sweet as it was, you both knew the rules and the risks you were running with, especially for the soon to be Council member Obi-Wan. His feelings and connection to you was a potential interference with his future, but he knew within himself that you were too great of a person to lose, him willing to risk it all for the librarian he’d fallen deeply for. 

And on one quiet night, chief librarian Jocasta Nu retiring early leaving you to manage the library by yourself, you found yourself assorting through the aisles, tidying the books as you went when you felt a familiar presence entering the room. 

You decided to have a little fun, to test the whits of the wise Jedi, you treading lightly as you snuck further away from him. 

“You know, you’ve got a lot of faith to think you can shield yourself from me” his voice called, the playful tone evident in his words as he spoke, a mental vision of his smile clear as day, “You are up against a soon to be Council member, after all” 

A few moments of silence passed as you threaded your way through the library, the clicks of his heeled boots not far behind you as you hid, your tone matching his as you replied “Yet you haven’t found me. Maybe you’re not as qualified as you think yourself to be, Master Kenobi” 

“We’ll see” he laughed, his footsteps growing faster, alerting you of his quickened pace, you jetting off in a slow sprint, your giggles echoing around you as you ran. Meeting an end to the isle, you crouched yourself low as you passed a few vacant tables, Obi-Wans presence nowhere to be seen, the room now dead silent. 

You waited, crouching beneath the table for a few moments, finally standing as you became confused by the man's absence. And just as you’d finally lowered your guard, you heard the padding of shoes, you too slow to run away, his arms catching your waist as you let out a squeal. 

Wind began to pull at your hair as he lifted you from the floor and spun you in circles, the two of you laughing, slightly out of breath. Slowing to a halt, he placed you back down against the edge of the table, the back of your thighs connecting with the surface as you leaned backwards, a cheeky smile glued to his face as he pushed his grown-out hair backwards, you crossing your arms as he spoke, “Not too bad for a ‘soon to be Council member’, am I?” 

“Could’ve been better, maybe you are too underqualified” you teased, rolling your eyes as your hands found themselves being drawn to his chest, adjusting his slanted robes. 

“You really believe that?” 

“Unless proven otherwise, I know I'm right” 

His hands found yours, his fingers gently wrapping around your wrists as he leant his body closer to yours, locking your palms in place on his chest, the rumble of his voice vibrating on your skin as your eyes met his, the air in the room suddenly shifting. 

“I can prove to you just how worthy I am, how good I can be on that Council” he whispered, your heart beginning to thump in your throat, you understanding the hidden meaning behind his offer.  

His face drew in closer to yours, your eyes darting back and forth from his lips to his eyes, you feeling as though you were under some kind of hypnotic spell, you wanting nothing more than to feel his skin on yours. 

“Then prove it” you mumbled, barely above a whisper, your eyes closing in sync with his as he dropped his lips to yours, a spark igniting in the pits of your stomach, the feeling mirroring within him as he felt you smile into the kiss. 

After that night, your relationship with the Jedi Master formed into something more than just flirtatious yet platonic meetings within the temple. It took a drastic turn, the both of you twisted in a burning passion that was fueled by nothing other than pure love. When he’d be home from missions, he’d spend his free time by your side in the secluded depths of the library, kisses and touches shielded by the empty isles surrounding you, and in the nights, you’d lay together in your bedroom, naked skin kissed by moonlight as you’d lay wrapped amongst one another hours after he’d sneak into your apartment. 

 And although it pained you both to keep your love a secret, your relationship forbidden to be known by anyone other than the two of you, it was perfect, everything you could’ve hoped for, and you wouldn’t have ever wished for a moment to change a thing. 

But it was all too good to be true, everything you loved being taken from the palm of your hands as a result of Order 66.  

You fled from the temple, you too weak in the Force to target the whereabouts of your lover, anxiety and sorrow overcoming you as you soared into the skies, a knot in your stomach telling you that that after this, things would never be the same. 

And you were right, the same sorrow you harvested on that day still lingering deep inside your bones three years later, an increasing infection that you accepted you’d have to carry each day, truly never being able to shake it.  

But the worst reminder of it all, the one that haunted your dreams at night and clouded your mind throughout the day was him – Obi-Wan. 

His absence left you eager for more, you yearning for his love more now than the day you first laid eyes on him. To say you missed him was an understatement, and it pained you to not know where he was, or if he even survived the rise of the Empire. Each night you’d lay in bed recalling your memories together, cursing at yourself for not doing more, for not loving him deeper, even though at the time you thought that was physically impossible. You’d give anything to rewind the time, but even for a Jedi, that couldn’t be done, so as time passed, you slowly created a new beginning for yourself, something you struggled to do, yet did anyway. 

You now lived on Tatooine working as a farmer, something you had knowledge about prior to the fall of the Order. It wasn’t ideal, the two suns and the endless horizons of sand not particularly being to your liking, but it made do, and it was safe. You slowly gained some income, eventually branching yourself out in town markets to sell fruit and vegetables, you thankful for the various gardening maintenance books you read during your spare time on slow days in the library. 

On the last market you attended, you bumped into a man by the name of Owen, and after some quiet conversation you learned that he too was a farmer. You chatted amongst yourselves, a strange sensation growing in the depths of your stomach as time and conversations passed, you feeling as though he held some sort of familiarity to him, you slowly gaining a trust towards the man. Before parting ways, you jumped at the chance and offered him some bulk of your crops free of charge, him taking the offer with gratitude, whispering the location of his farm to you before wishing you well, you joyous to the making of what you thought to be a new friend – the first you’d had in years. 

You now found yourself waiting by the window of your home for the two suns to set, you neatly stacking the various fruits and vegetables in a basket as the orange hue casted across the skies. When the last red orb kissed the horizon, you gathered your belongings and wrapped an old robe around yourself as a form of protection from any nightly winds before leaving your home and climbing aboard your eiope, starting your journey. 

To your gratitude, the distance between yours and Owens farm wasn’t too far, and you made it to your destination roughly an hour after sundown, the bright stars twinkling above you as you approached his home. Sliding off from your ride, you mentally debated making your presence known or dropping off the gift without a word, you not wanting to disturb his family's evening.  

Coming to a decision, you pulled out a slip of paper from the bag that hung besides the animal and jotted a quick note before slipping it into the basket of food, quietly making your way towards the entrance of the dome, dropping the offering off on the descending stairwell. 

As you made your way back to the eopie, you couldn’t help but feel an odd pull drawing your attention to the stone mountains in the distance, a completely new sensation flowing over your skin as you took in the sights before you. Your eyes squinted, looking for any sign to what the feelings could be drawing you to, you waiting momentarily before climbing back onto the creature, shrugging the feeling off, blaming it on your lack of sleep, though something deep inside you held its grip on the sensation. 

And little to your knowledge did you know that the man you’d been dreaming about for all this time was the one casting out that pull towards you. 

In the great distance, Obi-Wan sat atop of a flattened surface at the opening of the valley, pulse rapid and jaw slacked as he peered through the macrobinoculars. Participating in an evening meditation to help clear his clouded mind, he was disrupted by a sudden disturbance in the Force, something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Racing to the top of the cliff, his stomach dropped at the sight of a person leaving some kind of offering at the home of the boy he swore to protect, anxiety washing through his veins at the possible pose of threat. But all that disappeared as the figure turned around, the face of the person now turned to look as if directly at him – it was you. 

He blinked rapidly, breathing shallow as he peered at you, your confused expression held by your stunning features. Endless questions swarmed his mind as he watched, his mouth running dry as you slowly climbed aboard the animal, making your way back across the sand covered ground – Was this some kind of dehydrated hallucination, or was it truly you? And not only what were you doing on Tatooine, but of all places, Owen Lars farm? Where have you been staying? What have you been doing? 

The thoughts clouded his mind, but the one idea that stood out clear as day, the one that Obi-Wan clung to amongst all the chaos, was that you we’re safe, you were alive. He knew that now was his only chance, the only window opening he’d have to finally see you – something he’d been yearning to do since the day he’d last laid eyes on you. Not wasting a single moment, he fled from the rock and began charging down the valley entrance, following the animal footprints in the sand, your distant figure blending with the night sky. 

The further you travelled, the more the feeling from before continued to creep up on you, its strength growing unbearably uncomfortable the closer you got to your home. Sliding off the creature once more, you walked it back to its makeshift stable, the animal laying to rest after its journey. Now walking to the entrance of your home, you lowered the hood of your robe, only to spot a small blur in the distance, the sight causing you to jump. You couldn’t make out what it was, or who it was, but the growing anxiety in the pit of your stomach caused you to panic, you rushing through the entrance of your home, slamming the door closed behind you, ensuring it was locked three times before you backed into the room. 

Fretting thoughts flooded your mind as you stood silently, you undaring to move a single muscle as you pondered – Was it some kind of trap, did Owen send someone to follow after you? Did someone want to invade your farm, to rob you of your only source of income? Or had someone noticed you, tracking you till you were entirely alone? Of all the possibilities, there was one that stood out amongst them all, one that caused you to feel so uneasy that you began to feel physically ill – What if someone knew who you were? What you were? 

Your troubled mind came to a halt at the daunting sound of a soft knock at your door, your hand flying to your mouth as an immediate reaction to stop any noise from escaping, you drawing to a single conclusion that dug at the pit in your stomach – someone had definitely followed you back from Owens farm. 

You remained stiff, wishing with every ounce of hope that whoever it was would leave, yet you were disappointed by the second round of knocking, you knowing there would be no way around your situation, you having no choice but to answer the door. 

You slowly crept towards the doorframes surface, one hand resting on the frame as you took a moment to gather yourself, you putting on your bravest face before flicking the switch, the door unlocking as you slowly pulled it ajar. 

The moment your eyes met with the man's stood before you, your vision began to blur as a result of your spinning mind. Your figure froze, your grip on the door frame turning limp as you looked at him, you taking in the face of the man you’d missed miserably for the past three years.  

Your body suddenly had a mind of its own, you having zero control as you stepped backwards, the door swinging open giving you a full view of his frame, tears forming in your eyes as all colour from your face drained. 

“...Obi-Wan?” you whispered in complete disbelief, a part of you fully convinced that you were seeing incorrectly, that you were amidst a mirage of the man. 

Every hair on your body stood alert at the soft mumble of your name, the mans eyebrows furrowing as he gazed at you, his emotional state mirroring yours, “May... may I come in?” 

Stepping aside from the doorway without a word, your eyes never left sight of him as he stepped inside your home, you closing the door gently behind him, your back leaning against the cool surface as you released the breath you were holding. 

“What are you.. How did you find me?” you asked, your mind somehow so clear yet so clouded. 

“I spotted you at Owen Lars farm. Forgive me for following you, I understand if you wish for me to leave, or- or come back at a proper tim-” 

“No! No, this is just fine. I was just about to make a refreshment, would you like to sit for a moment?” 

“I’d love to” he replied, a small yet sad smile crossing his face as he nodded, you leading him into the kitchen where he hesitantly took a seat at your dining table, the sight causing flashing memories from the past across your mind, him fitting in your kitchen the exact same as he used to back on Coruscant. 

You stood with your back to the man as you poured the both of you a drink, your hands unsteady as the liquid ran from the carton into the cups, you starting the conversation lightly to rid the room of the blanketed tension, you growing eager to know the answers to the many questions forming in your brain. 

“Have you been on Tatooine long?” you questioned, your heart fluttering as you spun to face the man, his posture straight as he watched you with eyes full of awe and admiration. 

“I’ve been here from after... it happened” he replied with a mumble, his lips falling into a frown, “I haven’t been off planet since. But what of you? Have you come here recently?” 

You were taken back by his answer, you in disbelief that he’d been here this entire time. Of all the days, weeks, months, years you’d spent wondering where in the galaxy Obi-Wan was - if he was even still here at all - he’d been on the same desert planet that you’d been on this entire time.  

“I can’t say any different. After the attacks on the temple, I flew directly here... and I never left. It hasn’t been ideal, but this...” you said with a shrug as your eyes wandered around the room, “it’s enough to pass me by” 

Heading back to the small table he was seated at, you placed the cup on the cool surface and manually slid it towards him, his hand catching the drink with quiet gratitude. You remained stood, your body comfortable with the distance between you both, though your mind and heart desired otherwise. 

“What have you been doing with your time here?” you asked as you took a deep sip of your drink, nerves tingling down your spine as you anticipated his answer.  

There was no denying Kenobi’s handsomeness, the rugged look he was sporting entirely different from his well-groomed appeal all those years ago – yet you had no complaints. The man was gorgeous, and you we’re certain every creature on Tatooine would be throwing themselves at him given the chance. Though as much as you’d wish for him to find true happiness, if he we’re to admit to having a partner given his freedom from the republic, you we’re certain your heart would break to a point beyond repair. 

“I’m afraid there isn’t much to tell. I’ve taken a few meat harvesting jobs here and there, just enough to keep my head afloat. Though it isn’t as impressive as this farm you have here, but it’s safe” 

Your cheeks grew warm at the compliment as you tried to hide your smile, Obi-Wan's heart fluttering at the sight of you acting as you did all those years ago. Silence drew in as he watched you with pure admiration, you undaring to meet his gaze as you knew you’d crumple, you speaking up once more. 

“So, do you live near Owen Lar’s farm?” 

“I’ve um... I have been moving from place to place, though I never stem far from his home” 

“Why is that?” you asked, your curiosity spiking, a new wave of tension filling the air, sadness beginning to linger in the room around you. 

Obi-Wan cleared his throat, his expression falling flat as his eyes drew in on the tables surface, “There’s a boy, Luke, Padmé’s son. I made a vow to watch over him after she... well, after she passed” 

You felt a pain in your heart at the news of her passing. Though you never knew Padmé personally, you knew she was an amazing member of the Senate, as well as a kind lover to Anakin and friend of Obi-Wan. 

“I’m so sorry, Obi. She would’ve made such a gracious mother, though I'm certain Anakin and yourself continue to take great care of their son” 

Immediately you noticed Obi-Wans pained reaction, the way his shoulders tightened as his eyelids lowered, you catching onto his unspoken words as your eyes widened in shock, sadness overcoming you. Placing your cup down, you circled around the table without second thought, Obi-Wan remaining slump in his seat as you approached him. 

“I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am” you said now standing before him, your arm taking action before your mind had the chance to stop you, your hand gently falling on the man's shoulder, a sensation flowing over your skin as you made contact with him for the first time in three years. 

He stiffened at the feeling of your soft palm falling onto his shoulder, his saddened thoughts overrun with alarm bells, him feeling as though he could completely melt under your touch. Without a second thought, he spun in the chair, the seat sliding sideways as he did, him now completely facing you. 

You jumped back, startled by the sudden movement, only for your action to be stopped by a pair of arms wrapping around you, your body being drawn back in closer to the man. Standing between his spread knees, he pushed himself against you as he remained seated, his arms tightly hugging your waist as his face now pushed against your stomach, your view looking down onto his grown-out hair. 

Your muscle memory took over, your hands finding their way onto the top of his head, an instant relief erupting from the both of you as your fingers gently combed through his hair, his face warm against your clothed skin as he held you. 

You stayed there in his hold, your hands working their way through his hair, neither of you saying a word, your actions speaking louder until you felt a rumble against your stomach, Obi-Wan mumbling a saddened apology. 

“I’m so sorry” 

“There’s nothing to be apologetic for, Obi. You’re not to blame for anything that happened, it was out of your control” 

“No” he said, his head tilting backwards giving you a full view of his face, his eyes watery as all his trapped emotions began to pour through, “for everything before, for us” 

“Obi-Wan, don’t-” 

“I was a fool to put the Jedi code first, to put the Order first. They were never my main priority, you were, you always have been, and I should’ve made it known to you just how much I mean that” 

“You we’re in the Council, that was your job, Obi-Wan. Nor you or I could’ve asked you to give that up” 

“But I should have! If I knew what would come of the Order, I would’ve left with you the day I met you. I never fathomed what I’d be missing if I lost you, and the moment we parted, I lost everything. The Order never mattered to me as much as you did, as much as you still do, and I would give up anything to take it all back, to do what I should’ve done all those years ago” 

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you listened to his regrets, his emotional state mirroring yours, his face flushed as he breathed, pure pain splattered across his blue eyes. Slowly, your hand fell from his hair and traced the side of his face, pausing to stroke at the soft skin of his cheek, your thumb catching his tears as you did so. 

“As much as I wish we could, we can't change the past, and you’re not at fault... but that doesn’t mean we can't change what we have now?” you said quietly, a pit forming in the bottom of your stomach as you waited for a response, you praying with every ounce of yourself that he wouldn't reject your offer. 

Without a word, the arms around you tightened with a great tug, your body stumbling forward as he pulled you on top of him, the breath being knocked from your lungs in the process. His legs now together, you sat somewhat awkwardly on his thighs, your chest rising and falling at a quickened pace as his hands slid up your arms, across your shoulders and onto your neck, him holding your head in place. 

“My darling, I’d wish to never let you out of my sights for any days to come. Say the words and I'm yours, just as I always have been, and always will be” 

Feeling as though you could burst at the seams, your emotions too high to speak, you did what words could never do, dipping your head slowly towards his, your eyes fluttering shut, heart beating as rapidly as it did the first time you kissed him. Leaning forwards, your lips gently made contact with his, his hold on your face loosening as you both got lost, the kiss soft and sweet, yet powerful enough for the hair on your aims to stand upright. 

Pulling away from one another, his hands found their way to your hips, him pulling you towards him, a fire growing in your stomach at the sudden movement, you now directly on his lap. 

“Gods, I've missed you. Every day you’ve been the only constant thought in my mind, I cannot even begin to express the pain I've endured from your absence. I wish to spend the rest of my life making up for the time we’ve lost” 

“We could begin now?” you blurted, your cheeks burning red from your questioned confession, a playful smile forming on the mans face as one of his hands left your hip, only to return to your neck, pulling you in once more. 

The kiss started sweet, but as your lips moved against one another's, a firery passion began to ignite, your arms wrapping around the back of his neck, his grip on your hips as you slowly began to shift on his lap. With sudden movements, Obi-Wans hold scooped to the back of your thighs, his hold firm as he rose from the seat, your legs wrapping around his waist as he shuffled through your home, breaking kisses momentary to ask for directions. 

Stopping at the entrance of your bedroom, he pushed your back against the door frame, his hot kisses slipping from your lips to work their way down your neck, soft sighs escaping from your throat as you tiled your head backwards. 

“Obi-Wan” you sighed, your fingernails clawing at the fabric of the clothes on his back, you desperate to feel the skin beneath. 

Tilting your torso backwards, he pulled away from your neck to swiftly discard himself of his top layers, your hands magnetically drawn to the skin once it was freed, him returning to the colourful skin forming on your neck. 

You we’re impressed with his physique, him still maintaining the fitness he acquired from all those years training and operating as a Jedi, though you knew no matter what he looked like, he’d still be ideal in your eyes. 

Pulling you both away from the doorway, he opened the door with ease, rushing to the bed the second he had the opportunity. Legs colliding with the edge of the old mattress, he softly laid you down in the center of your bedding, him taking a moment of gratitude for the sight sprawled out in front of him.  

In the moment of silence you took to gaze at each other, you both recognised the joy and love you shared for one another, matching smiles plastered on your faces as you stared.  

“I’ve done enough waiting, Obi. Please don’t make me wait any longer” you playfully begged, him immediately springing into action, his body connecting with the bed before crawling above you, him laying between your open legs.  

Holding his upper half above you, he dipped down to your lips once more to spark a deep, emotion filled kiss, you pouring both lust and love into his mouth, him doing the same. Between contact, he lifted one hand to gently tug at the bottom of your shirt, him assisting you in wriggling out of it, as well as the layers beneath, stopping once your upper half was completely exposed. 

He wasted no time in moving his lips from yours, down to your neck once more before exploring the untouched area, his wet lips leaving hot trails of licks and pecks across your upper chest, his free hand moving once more from beside you, only to trace the sides of your exposed stomach.  

You squirmed under his touch, light laughter slipping you’re your lips before a gasp suddenly ripped through your chest, his hands snaking their way up to your breast, his fingers gently massaging the skin as his mouth danced between each globe. 

He toyed with them, gentle sounds of pleasure from you making him eager to continue, him working on your chest for what you’d hope to be forever, only for him to dethatch his mouth from your skin, him lifting himself as he shifted his body lower, stopping with his head between your clothed thighs. 

“Lift your hips” he ordered, his hands pulling at the hem of your pants. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as his hands pressed against your skin, him pulling the material of your trousers down to your ankles, your undergarments following pursuit directly afterwards. 

He kept you completely on edge once you were fully unclothed, his fingers massaging the skin around where you desired him most, his eyes hungry as he stared at your exposed skin, you breaking his trance when you called out his name. 

“What do you want, my darling?” 

You groaned at his teasing, you attempting to close your legs only to be met by the resistance of his firm hands pushing them back open, now wider than before. 

“Tell me what you desire, use your words” 

“I want you to touch me. I need to feel you, please” you whined, the skin of your face growing warmer than ever at your confession. 

His eyes caught yours, you catching sight of the devilish smirk on his face before his attention returned to your heat, his hands aching slow as they worked their way down your inner thighs, a moan escaping your lips once he finally made contact. 

His fingers delicately massaged between your folds, his fingertips collecting wetness as he teasingly traced back and forth before making contact with your clit, your chest jolting forward at the pleasurous feeling. 

He toyed with your nub, testing your reactions to the differing speeds and pressures his fingers applied, moans of approval telling him just how much you were enjoying him, pushing him to seek out more of your sounds. 

Your eyes drew wide as his second hand jumped into play, it moving from your inner thigh to the direct source of your heat, his pointer circling around the rim of your entrance, teasing you as you groaned for more, him slipping just the tip of his finger in before slipping out again. 

“Obi, please” you sobbed, mind clouded as his other hand continued to work at your sweet spot, you struggling to focus. 

“Anything for you, sweetheart” he mumbled, his finger sliding inside you slowly, welcomed by a tight warmth, one that would linger in his thoughts on his loneliest nights. His pace began to speed up as he pumped the finger inside you, eventually adding a second to draw more noises for you, him approving of the result you gave him. 

Your arms gripped onto the sheets beside you, your head tossed back against the bedding as you allowed the bliss to take over, your breath panting as you spoke between moans, “I.. Oh... I'm close, don’t stop, please” 

Yearning for your release, Obi-Wan dropped the hand toying with your clit to the side of your thigh, him holding your legs open as his head dipped, the sudden sensation of his tongue against your bundle of nerves causing you to cry out, the sound echoing around the room. 

Your hands freely moved to his head, your fingers gripping onto his messy strands as he sucked, lips wrapping around your clit as his fingers pumped rapidly inside you, your vision going white as your hips began to grind against his bearded mouth, your orgasm erupting in a powerful wave. 

Obi-Wans movements stayed rapid as he rode you through your climax, hums of approval vibrating across your sensitive skin as he lapped up the taste of your juices, your body twitching beneath him, him only slowing his pace once your muscles fell limp, your breathing shallow. Detaching from your skin and fingers drawing from your opening, he gently crawled back up your body, soft kisses pecking against your exposed skin as he did so. 

Now returned face to face with you, your arms tiredly wrapped around the back of his neck, you pulling him in for a deep kiss, the flavour of you wetness spreading across your tongues, your hands slowly tracing down his back before stopping at the hem of his pants, you attempting to pull them down. 

“We don’t have too. Not tonight, if you don’t want to” Obi-Wan mumbled into the kiss, your attempts continuing as you replied. 

“I want nothing more. I need you, Obi-Wan. Allow me to make up for lost time” 

Applying pressure to the kiss, Obi-Wans lips pressed against yours strongly before pulling back, shuffling himself with ease above you as he slipped himself from his bottoms, him now completely naked, his body falling back onto yours, his shaft falling just above your heat, the both of you sighing at the feeling. 

A sudden idea popped into your mind, you swiftly knocking Obi-Wans arms from beside you, his chest colliding with yours as you locked your arms around his back, you using all your strength to roll both your bodies over, you adjusting yourself as his back made contact with the bedding, you now sitting above him. 

His eyes were widened with amazement, his hands sliding up your exposed thighs as you hovered over the base of his torso, his erect dick pressing against the skin of your ass. 

“Oh, how I've missed this” he said, his orbs dark as they raked up and down your figure, “The entirety of you. Your mind, your voice, your lips, your body... and especially this” he cooed, one of his hands curving inwards from your thigh, his fingers returning to your warm folds, your body grinding down on instinct. 

Your head rolled backwards, your chest popping forwards, his hand syncing with the movements of your hips as he released an uneven breath. Desperate for more, you jumped from his hold as you rocked your body backwards, you now kneeling directly above what you wanted most.  

Obi-Wan caught on immediately, him just as needy for what was to come, his hand now wrapping around the base of his cock as he aligned it beneath you, him waiting for you to make the final move. 

Leaning forward, your palms gently fell onto his chest, him removing his free hand from your thigh to grab hold of your wrist, drawing your hand to his face, him humming as he pressed a gentle kiss to your skin, your heart bursting at the gesture. 

“Sweetheart?” 

“Yes?”  

“I love you, and I always will” he said, his lips still against the back of your hand, your lips curling into the widest smile you’ve held in years. 

“And I love you, Obi-Wan" you replied with a joyful sigh, the moment pure and genuine, you wishing to stay there forever.  

Returning your hand to your chest, his hand came back in contact with your hip, his grip gently pulling you down towards him, you following his guidance without hesitation. Slowly, you welcomed his tip to your entrance, him sighing as you made contact, you steadily inching yourself onto him. 

Both hands returned to your hips, Obi-Wans fingers dug into your sides, his eyes shutting at the sensation of him sliding inside you, the feeling of your walls wrapping around him welcoming him to his own personal heaven.  

Both your voices synchronized as you descended, your movements coming to a halt as you bottomed out, satisfaction echoing inside your walls at the fullness you felt. Growing used to the feeling, you lifted yourself once more, his shaft sliding almost completely out of you before you worked your way back down, each motion bringing you more and more bliss. 

Completely adjusted, your actions began to pick up pace, your body rocking back and forth above Obi-Wan, fountains of pleasurous moans dribbling from his mouth as you moved.  

“My love, god you feel good” Obi-Wan called, you paying no mind to the tightness of his hold, your focus clouded by pleasure, “I’ve missed... the feeling of you so badly” 

“Yeah?” you replied, your breath puffed from your rapidly growing movements. 

“Had.. so many dreams of you like.. t-this" 

“Like what, baby?” you teased, his confession feeding into your drive, you pushing him inside of you deeper. 

“On top of me. Under me. Taking me so well... so, so well sweetheart, just as you are now” he sputtered between moans, you sighing at his words. 

The further you worked yourself onto him, the closer the both of you drew to bliss, him slowly growing restless beneath you, his skin aching to feel more of you. Catching you at the exact moment you bottomed yourself onto him, he used gentle pressure to hold you there, your eyes catching his with confusion.  

Wasting no time, he shifted the both of you, his torso lifting from the bed as his arms wrapped around your waist. Now in a seated position, he pulled your chest onto his, his arms remaining tight across your back as he slowly rocked you up and down, him manually working you up and down his cock.  

Allowing him to take complete control, your head hell onto his shoulder, your eyes fluttered closed as you moaned, him taking the green light to increase his speed, him bouncing your limp body onto him. 

“Fuck... Obi. I’m... I'm-” 

“Me too, sweetheart. Just... hold out for me a little longer, can you do that?” 

You hummed in reply, you allowing noises to freely fall from your mouth, your sharp gasp taking both you and Obi-Wan by surprise as he suddenly began to meet your movements, him rocking himself into you as he pushed your body onto him repetitively. 

Your legs began to shake, your gasps flowing rapidly as Obi-Wan continuously worked himself into you, his breath hot on your ear as he groaned, you both now mere moments before your release. 

“Obi... please” you cried, your eyes squeezing shut as you tried your hardest to fight against your building nerves. 

“Let go, sweetheart. I’ve got you”, he mumbled into your ear, every nerve in your body tingling as you tippled over the edge, your voice a cocktail of gaps and moans as you came undone on top of him, your muscles jolting as he held you against him, his shaft rocking side you working you through your climax, “there you go, so good for me” 

With a raspy sigh, he followed shortly after you, hot streams releasing inside you as he came, his head falling into the side of your neck. He kept his pace steady, you using the little strength you had left to rock yourself onto him, his grip on your back strong as he cussed his way through his bliss. 

Coming down from your highs, Obi-Wans hold on your skin loosened slightly, him still pressing you onto him as he gently lowered the both of you backwards onto the mattress, his shaft slipping out of you on the way down, a small gasp escaping your lips as it did. 

Together, your bodies crashed back into the bed, skin hot and breaths quick as your chests rose and fell against each other, Obi-Wan keeping you wrapped tightly against his torso as you laid. Falling from your highs, completely blanketed by bliss and love, Obi-Wan squeezed your frame slightly, his head tilting to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, your unspoken words expressing the gratitude you both felt to be reunited at last, your hearts finally mending.  

[murdockussy]

Im neck deep in Sith!Obi so maybe some of that? Xreader…Putting reader in her place 🥹

Writing this has me in a deep Sith! Obi-Wan hole that I never want to leave. I love this request and I hope you enjoy it!!

(Head to my masterlist to read more about requests :))

Nothing Like You

Warnings: Fighting, choking, death references, sad Obi but he's hot when he's angry

Words: 4,700 ish

There was only one way to describe you felt – cold. Though not like the chill you’d feel as a cool breeze blew against your skin, or the icy metal of your lightsaber handle after being untouched for hours on end. No, this was different. This was the kind of cold that created an echoing tremble beneath your bones, that caused your mouth to run dry as you continued on your journey. The constant chill that ran through your spine stemmed from no relation to weather, but a place of unease – of fear. 

Years before now – back when you were only approaching your trials for becoming a Jedi Master - there had been rumors sparked about a troubled Padawan and his loyal Master. It was believed that the Padawan - Anakin Skywalker - had been clouded by a darkened influence, his beliefs contorting down an immoral path Jedi swore to never go down. It was said that his Master - Obi-Wan Kenobi - had tracked the boy down to put an end to his disorder, thought what was to follow remained a mystery to all.  

Some believe that Kenobi never made it – that Skywalker was too well hidden for him to find. Many suspect that the Master is still seeking out his Padawan. Others till this day often debate over the idea of Kenobi succeeding, only to cut his life short afterwards from guilt. Either way, the Jedi Order and the Republic remained stable, people still enduring their peaceful lives within the temple.  

However, all began to change when a handful of your fellow Council members began to disappear one by one, not a word spoken or a trace left behind, which led you to where you were today. 

It had been close to three days since you left the temple, yourself as well as other Jedi recruited individually to seek out the missing personnel. Given the little information you had on the issue, you all jumped to action with no guidance or direction, your only navigation being your gut feeling and the Force. 

For the first two days, you’d flown from planet to planet in hopes to communicate with any available resources, any allies of the Jedi, to gather information, only to be let down by almost everyone's unfamiliarity with the situation. With no lead, you jetted out to deeper space, little hope to be found until you felt something – a sudden yet powerful disturbance within the Force – you instantly following the path it was leading you across.   

The pull led you to an unknown planet, your ships navigations reading the terrene as completely vacant, and the closer you flew towards it, the more a feeling of restlessness began to expand inside you, growing wider in mass as you drew closer.  

Dipping into what looked like a lifeless valley, the grounds beneath you were paved with red lava, the rivers of it a glowing blur as you skimmed just above the surface, you taking in the vast charcoal mountains surrounding you as you continued to peruse the draw of the Force. Your commute came to a stop as you reached a dead end, your pull taking a final tug as you landed your spacecraft atop of a flat cliff. 

Switching off the engines, you shook the overwhelming feeling of nerves as you tugged your robe over your shoulders and grasped onto the handle of your saber, the weight of it resting in your palms bringing you a slither of comfort. 

Stepping out onto the land, you couldn’t help but be somewhat appreciative of the sight before you – a volcano like mountain standing tall, you unable to see anything above it besides the dim smokey skies, trickles of raging lava cascading down the sides bringing light to the inky structure. At the base of the abundance was a hollow opening, a cave engulfed by darkness.  

Igniting your saber, you held the weapon in front of you, your blade illuminating the walls of the cavity as you hesitantly entered, the sight of your ship growing faint behind you.  

The further you trekked, the worse your emotions grew, your anxiety peaking as you walked, the sounds of your boots crushing rubble beneath you mixing with trickles of water in the distance echoing around you, your eyes constantly averting from left to right. Something definitely was off about this place, and you were certain that whatever it was would not be good news. 

Your tour felt never ending, the sights around you remaining the same as you walked, and at one point you considered the possibility that you’d somehow got yourself caught in a hallucinative loop. That changed, however, when the acoustics around you grew quieter, you spotting a door like structure carved into the stone ahead. You approached it with caution, you switching the angle of your lightsaber to take in the mysterious carvings on the surface of the entrance, it portraying symbols that were unknown to you.  

Before you had the chance of attempting to decode the message, the wall slid backwards, you jumping at the sudden movement, pulling your weapon close to your body as you changed your stance, preparing to attack. Met with nothing but silence, you relaxed slightly, your stance still defensive as you proceeded towards the door, your fingers pressing against the crack in the surface, the rock swinging open. 

Stepping beyond the door, you were met with what seemed to be a second cave, the circular room larger in width than in length, the space illuminated by the dangling torches hanging from the wall's surfaces. 

Passing beyond the doorway, your head tilted to take in the multiple hallways stemming from the room, you were oblivious to the closing of the door behind you, the thud of the frame closing causing you to spin with an audible gasp. Your back to the room, you frantically darted your eyes around the doorway, confused by the lack of presence you anticipated to be there – though something lingered in the air that caused you to feel nervous, a certain darkness that added to your weighty unease. 

As you attempted to spin yourself back around to explore the cave, a sudden pressure snaked itself around the entirety of your body, a tightness on your neck causing the air around to become difficult to inhale. Your body grew limp, blood running cold as your feet disconnected with the stone floor beneath you, fear prickling across your skin as you levitated. Instantly you recognized the power being used against you – the Force – though not the kind you’d harvested for the entirety of your life. Whoever your new opponent was, they were completely surrounded by darkness.  

Using all you might, you fought for air as you attempted in every way possible to break free from the Force hold, your body remaining stiff as you gradually were dragged slowly through the air away from the door, the movements coming to a pause once you were center of the room. 

Your hand began to unwillingly loosen on your weapon, the blade of your saber lowering back into its handle before being pulled forcefully from your hand, a soft clap of the metal meeting with fabric sounding from behind you. Your eyes began to water, your mind feeling light as you continued to fight for air, your voice strained as you pushed out a soft plea, “...Put me... down” 

The pressure surrounding you suddenly dissipated, your heightened body falling to the floor, you landing on your side before lifting yourself into a kneeling position, your hands resting on your chest as you remained doubled over gasping for air.  

Your fuzzy brain regained its focus, your vision clearer from the oxygen flowing into your lungs once again, you only just taking notice of the shadowed figure in the corner of your eye. Raising your body into a standing position, you turned to face the person before you, the silhouette of a body seated on top of a colossal charcoal throne, their face shielded by the hood of their black robe, one of their legs bent resting on the seat in front of them while the other placed itself onto the floor, their foot tapping on the stone surface of the ground. 

Your stomach dropped at the sight. You could feel the rage, the darkened power radiation off them as they sat smugly, spread out on their throne, you coming to a swift understanding of why you’d been feeling so anxious – the answer was seated directly in front of you.  

Out of instinct, your palm opened as you attempted to drag your weapon back to you, only to be met by a strong resistance, you spotting the gloved hand of the person gripping the hilt of your saber, you switching to a less abrasive plan of action – you'd have to talk your way out of this. 

“Who are you?” 

You were met with a response of deep laughter, your patience beginning to wear thin as you took a step closer to the hooded figure. 

“I asked you a question, show yourself!” you called, the echo of your choice swimming between the walls of the room. 

The figure slowly adjusted their position, both their legs now touching the ground beneath them as their posture turned upright, their free hand steadily inching its way to their hood before pulling, the fabric of their disguise falling behind their head revealing their face.   

Your eyes widened as you absorbed features of the man. His hair long, loose pieces falling against his forehead. On his left cheek, a permanent scar, a single line of deep reds and purples dripping from his cheekbone through to the edges of his lips. Though what stood out most of all was his gleaming eyes, the rings of his orbs a vibrant yellow hugged by a red horizon, a chill running down your spine as you caught them staring directly into yours. 

He watched as you stalled, fear striking you. It had been so many years since you’d heard of a Sith, let alone encountered one. 

“You’re afraid” The voice taunted, his eyes never leaving yours, “by my understandings, that isn’t very Jedi like, now is it?” 

You dismissed his words as you attempted to restrain your emotions, not wanting him to read your sentiments any further. For a second time, you attempted to lure your weapon back to you side, your trial resisted against once again, his strength even stronger this time. 

“If you wish for your weapon, all you have to do is ask” he smugly joked. 

“What do you want from me?” you asked, your voice sturdy, you beginning to move closer to the throne the man sat atop of, mentally creating a plan of action. 

“What makes you think I wanted you? You are the one who came to me, after all” 

“The Force led me here, though I see now that it wasn’t the Force. It was just you, wasn’t it?” 

“Smart little thing you are. However, still so foolish to fall into my trap, just like those before you” 

Alarms began to ring in your mind at his words, you starting to connect to missing puzzle pieces. 

“This is something you do often, falsely lure people in?” 

“Not just people - Jedi. Though only the weakest of them seem to fall for it” 

Suddenly it clicked, the disappearances of the Council members now making sense. They we’re bought here under false pretenses, just as you had been. But now one question remained – where were they? 

“Whatever trap you think you have me in, I will not fall for it” 

“Don’t be so naive. You know within your pathetic, hopeful little heart that you’re already trapped. But you should be proud, so far you’ve survived longer than the rest did” 

“Where are they?” 

“They’re gone” he said, raising his hand above him with an open palm, the sounds of rattling metal appearing from one of the hallway exits beside you, “Returned to whatever pathetic afterlife they believe in” 

You caught the movement from the corner of your eye, your attention turning towards it. Your stomach dropped as you caught sight of the levitating pile of weapons, memorable lightsaber hilts piled together, some destroyed, burnt and broken, others completely intact – they belonged to your fellow council members, and you realised in that moment that they truly were gone. 

“Don’t be so sorrowful. Their deaths we’re quick, practically painless – some of them, anyway” he scoffed, a small smile pulling at his lips as he gawked over the stack of weapons.  

You took the small chance you had while the Sith was distracted to take back your saber, the resistance no longer there as you pulled it towards you through the Force, the metal flying through the air before landing in your palm, a wave of ease flowing through your veins as you gripped it with all your might, igniting the flaming blade. 

Too late to stop your movements, the man threw the sabers back into the room they appeared from, the crashing sounds of them colliding with the floor causing you to jump, his face devious as his attention diverted back to you, his posture tightening. 

“Smart move. A courageous thing you are, such a shame for you to go to waste” 

“You won’t kill me” you spat, your legs spreading as you adjusted your stance, preparing for any form of attack. 

“You weren’t exactly who I wished to have here in the first place, don’t be so egotistic” 

The man stood, his frame appearing larger than yours as he stepped away from his throne, his direction aiming towards you. You side stepped, your legs slowly carrying you in the opposite direction of the man, him following pursuit, the two of you circling around one another from a distance. 

“I’m not the one here with an ego issue” 

A laugh erupted from the man, his prefect teeth flashing you a smile you’d believe to be genuine, friendly even. In the moment, you took a small slither of appreciation for the man's looks, his handsomeness shining through his dishonorable demeanor. 

“You remind me of myself. I used to be as likeminded as you are, brave, daring, lig-” 

“I am nothing like you. We are not the same” 

His arm extended in front of him, gloved palm rotating to face you, your body stopping in its tracks. A sudden tight grip wrapped itself around you, squeezing you together from the neck down, a pressure on your throat lightly tightening, but you we’re still able to breathe unlike the last time. 

“Do not interrupt me!” the man howled, his arm reached out as he stormed towards you, your heart beginning to rapidly beat. 

He came to a pause a few feet away from you, his Force hold remaining strong as he stepped to the side, him now circling around you figure as his eyes raked your body up and down, watching as you attempted to fight against his grip. 

“Your eagerness is intriguing. If I kill you now, your power goes to waste... but I can’t exactly let you walk out of here free, can I?” 

“Let go of me” you responded, ignoring his question. 

His body slowly passed your front, his eyes starting at your feet before working their way up to your face, you losing sight of him again as he worked his way behind you. 

“I can give you a choice, a change of freedom” he said, you falling silent, him taking that as a que to continue. 

“Either I kill you now” he spoke as he stepped forward, his voice appearing now directly behind you, his breath fanning over your ear sending chills down your spine, you lips parting in shock. “Or... you join me” he cooed into your other ear. 

“No!” you spat, your head twisting to the side to face him, a smirk forming as he watched you struggle harder against his hold. 

“Show a little appreciation, young one, you’re the first that’s even gotten the chance to make it out of here alive” 

“I would rather die than to become a Sith, to become someone like you!” 

To your complete shock, his hold around you faltered at your words, his smirk quivering. You took his bizarre reaction to your advantage, you continuing to throw insults his way. 

“To be your apprentice would be worse than death itself. You are no leader I would live for!” 

His features turned sour, yet his hold grew loose, you ongoing with your words. 

“To have you as a Master would be a dishonor!” 

A small whispered “No” escaped through his tight frown, his scorching eyes clouded with painful thoughts as he watched you. You took your chance at his distraction, your closed fist opening slightly as you used all your strength to knock the man beside you with the Force, his body stumbling backwards as the hold you were trapped in completely disappeared. 

Without a second thought, you charged at the man, your ignited saber swinging towards him, him reflexing away at the last moment as your blade swooshed beside him. 

With a twirl, he pulled his own weapon from his hip just in time for your second attack, his blade shooting forward, the flaming sword colliding with yours, the block just centimeters away from his face. 

Your eyes widened at the blazing colors before you, you stumbling away from the man in pure shock. He stood, chest heaving as he watched you with fury, yet you couldn’t seem to care for the moment, you completely in a trance as you stared at his sword, mind moving at a rapid pace. 

What was once blue now flickered with streams of red flowing from the base to the tip of the blade, the swirling colors dancing around one another, almost as if the red was a growing infection within the weapon.  

Your mind flew back to the many conversations you’d had about a well-respected Jedi, one who was kind, yet skillful. Determined and hopeful, who’s vibrant blue saber was unforgettable on any battlefield. Who succeeded in his ways of becoming a General, coming forth to the Council just as you had. Who cared for his people so deeply, enough to lay his life on the line to stop his beloved Padawan – someone he considered to be a brother - from choosing a life of darkness. The realisation dawned on you, the mystery so many before you had yet to solve now standing before you. 

The colorful blade of his weapon cascaded back into its hilt, his wide stance pulling together as he relaxed, him taking a step towards you.  

“Ahhh, and there it is. You know” 

“You... You’re Obi-Wan Kenobi” 

Taking another step forward, he spoke again, “That name is just a ghost of my past, now I am only what remains” 

Confusion aside, you couldn’t help but let the anger bubble deep inside you, your words pouring from your mouth before you had the chance to stop. 

“They praise you, speak so highly of your dedication to the Order! Everyone holding you on some sort of... pedestal, but they are wrong! You’re no role model, you’re nothing like how they make you out to be!” 

“You know what they say; never meet your hero's” 

His smugness fueled your emotions, you holding your saber in front of you, the tip of it pointing towards his chest as you continued. 

“How could a Jedi as honorable as Obi-Wan Kenobi turn into such a disillusion? You we’re atop of your game, you were a General, a member of the Council, you-” 

“The Jedi Council were mindless! And they remain to be that way!” 

“The Council aren’t the cause for this, you are!” 

The shout of your words caused something within the Sith to snap once more, his smug tone turning cold as he pushed you backwards through the Force, your saber remaining ignited as it catapulted towards him, his own switching on to blaze with light, him holding both weapons in his hands. 

“They made me the way I am!” Kenobi spat, you stumbling backwards as he chillingly creeped towards you, his voice rising as he continued, “They’re deceitful, selfish!” 

“You hold so much anger towards them, enough to murder them with cold blood. There’s a cause” you stated, slowly pacing yourself away, you cautious to not push his buttons too far as you spoke, “Could it be guilt? A small part of you still regretful for turning against your own?” 

“I don’t feel any remorse for your kind, their lies and dishonesties we’re the cause of their deadly fate, it was just a matter of time before they met it” 

The glow in his eyes intensified with the colorful reflection of both sabers in his hand, his darkness seeping through now more than ever as he stalked you down like prey, you maintaining your distance as you both circled around the room.  

“Someone as generous as the legendary Obi-Wan would not act in such vile ways over just lies-” 

“They’re untrustworthy! They speak of the Sith in such negative manors, withholding from teaching the strength we hold, forcing those who feel it to reject it! They fear our power, the fact we’re stronger than any Jedi!” 

“Yet you we’re one of them, one of the best members the Council ever had” 

“The Kenobi they speak of is dead! Your people rejected the boy, rejected the truth that was stood directly in front of them! Their delusions and self-indulgence have consequences that we’re far overdue till now!” 

His shouts ricocheted off the cave walls, your eyes squinting slightly from the pain that formed inside your ears. He was furious, chest rising and falling at a quickened pace has he grew closer to you. You knew you were now within dangerous waters, you getting somewhat of a breakthrough at his confession, his emotions pouring through the cracks he never meant to open, yet you went ahead with your questioning, working with a lack of plan as you continued. 

“The boy...” you spoke calmly, his head tilting lower as he listened to your words, “They rejected him, your Padawan – Anakin Skywalker?” 

“Don’t speak his name!” 

Pain was evident in his voice, his angered gaze softening for just a moment, and suddenly it all made sense – his turn on the Jedi Order, on the Council, why he was killing the people of his past one by one. 

“What you’re doing isn’t for your own sake, this is all for him. They rejected him, and now you’re seeking revenge, aren’t you?!” 

Your breath was knocked from your lungs at the sudden drag of your body, your back colliding with the floor as you toppled over. Your arms were pulled from your sides, a nonexistent presence holding them out extended beside you, pinning you to the cool floor, you unable to lift yourself up. Fear slid its way through your bloodstream as the man marched towards you, him stepping over your body, his frame taller than ever as he stood with his boots on either side of your torso, the blades of the lightsabers now crossed dangerously close to your neck. 

“You think you’re so wise, don’t you, little one? Attempting to use my past against me, to lower my guard?” 

His body shifted, his legs lowering, knees moving one by one to rest on the floor beside you, his back arching slightly down as he now kneeled hovering above your stomach, his body dominating yours as he lowered the weapon just inches from your skin, the heat of the overlapped blades causing your neck to grow uncomfortably warm. 

“You’re more naive than I thought. You believe your words can hurt me? I killed my Padawan, watched as the life drained from his body, and guess what, I'm going to do the same to you” 

Your body drew cold with terror as your pulse began to catch in your throat, you fighting with what power you had to press your neck away from the blades. 

“Oh, you’re scared? You should be” 

“Don’t... don’t do this” 

The man scoffed, his face lowering as close to yours as it could be without the sabers making contact with his chest, your stomaching beginning to churn with something different, something non fear related.  

“Do you really think I'd let you walk out of here and return to your Jedi scum ways? You know your options, so choose” 

Sudden images casted across your mind, a vision of yourself beside the man on the throne. You looked different, barely recognizable to who you were today. Your clothes were darker, more fitted, less layered and simpler. Your hair was longer, cascading across your chest, free from its usual pushed back look the Council made you wear. Your eyes were glowing, warm colors identical to the man sat beside you. 

Yet of all the differences, one thing struck you the most – your smile. It was genuine, the brightest you’d seen it after so many years. It stretched out across your pink flushed cheeks as your head tilted to look at the Sith below you, his face turning to meet yours, your joyous features spreading onto his face. You we’re happy, truly happy – something you hadn’t been in a long time. 

Your attention was drawn back to the present at the sound of the weapons being switched off, the humming coming to an end as the man pulled the handles away from your neck, him reattaching them to his hips as his face remained unreadable, the angered expression gone. 

“You’re-” 

“No!” you interrupted, your voice stern as you spat, “You can’t trick me, lure me into the darkness with false predictions!” 

“I didn’t do that” 

“You expect me to believe you, out of all people, you?! I won’t give in to your lies, get out of my head!” 

His body swiftly shifted, his hands falling besides your head as he remained kneeling above your torso, the anger from his eyes pouring into yours as he glared at you, his breath hot across your face as he spoke. 

“If I was in your head, you’d know. But I saw them too. That was not me, young one, that was the Force” 

You remained silent, your breathing unsteady as you pondered. As much as you wanted to deny it, you knew within yourself that the Sith was right, that he wasn’t the cause of the image projections in your mind. Yet you refused to accept it, option for silence over a reply to his words. 

“Refuse all you want, but you know the truth” he spoke, his body shifting as he raised a palm from the floor, it smoothly drawing closer to your face until it made contact with your skin, his gloved fingers delicately tracing from the edge of your temple to the base of your jaw. 

“Your whit and courage can be put to so much more use. In the Council you have to fight to remain equal, but here, you won’t have too. Isn’t that what you want?” 

The eye contact you maintained with the man wavered, you looking below his face before his fingers pinched your chin bringing your gaze to meet his once more. Your face was now mere centimeters from his, an electricity in your lips forming at the close distance between his and yours, his voice falling deceivingly sweet as he cooed. 

“By my side, you can be happy, just like you were in the vision. There’s a darkness within you. It’s there whether you wish to accept the facts or not. Allow it to overtake you, bask in its power. Join me, let me help you... We can be free, together” 

There was a beat of silence once the whispered words fell from his mouth, the two of you unmoving as you allowed his offer to sink within your skin, your answer becoming clear, him catching a glimpse your decision through the brisk twinkle in your eye. Sucking in a sharp breath, his head dipped, his lips barely grazing yours, him waiting for you to lock in your fate, and without a second thought, you did, a powerful yet blissful wave of darkness dancing down your spine as your lips made contact with his. 

[murdockussy]

Alone

Requested Angsty Obi-Wan x Reader

Summary: A woman from Obi-Wan’s past - Duchess Satine Kryze - is expected to say at the Jedi temple for two weeks, yourself and Obi-Wan assigned to be her assistants/escorts for the duration of her visit. Will all go smoothly? Or will your secret relationship with Obi-Wan be put to the test?

Warnings: Angst, angst, and some more angst. 

Notes: This was requested by my dearest @how-uncivilised <333 hope u love it bestie, sorry for any pain it may cause you!!! If you’d like to request your own fic, you can read more about it in the notes of my masterlist :)

Words: almost 5,900,, my bad

It had been just over a week since Duchess Satine Kryze had arrived at the Jedi temple, and to put it in the nicest way possible – you'd rather chug expired glasses of bacta water than to live another day in her presence. You couldn’t deny her kindness, nor her graciousness, and you’d agree that if you were anyone else, you’d probably have enjoyed company, but given that you weren’t anyone else, you lived every day for the past week with a chip on your shoulder, her presence alone irritating you.

When news hit the Jedi council that she was soon to journey to Coruscant, her expecting to stay resided inside the temple for two weeks, the council immediately assigned Obi-Wan to escort her during her stay. At first, you were somewhat okay with it, knowing that with Anakin by Obi-Wan's side, he’d barely have time on his hands to accompany the Duchess. Though all hope you held quickly crumbled around you when the plans changed just two days before her expected arrival.

Just to your luck, Anakin got assigned to a separate mission with his Padawan Ashoka for the duration of Satine's stay, leaving the council in search for a second guard to work beside Obi-Wan, Anakin suggesting your name during the councils meeting. You knew he held your best interest at heart, him knowing you’d wish to spent any time possible beside his Master, and on any other mission you would’ve jumped at the chance to take onboard the opportunity, but given what you know about Satine, you’d have rather sat this one out.

When your love for one another first blossomed, Obi-Wan was entirely truthful about his past relationships. Although none we’re as serious as yours, you holding the title of being his first official – yet secret – partner, you weren’t blind to the fact that what him and Satine shared was something special.  

The way he spoke of the woman in such high regard, how his eyes would soften as he reminisced their journey together, you knew she made a major impact in his life, and as reassuring as he was to the fact that what they experienced together in the past remained in the past – him constantly reminding you that you were the greatest and only love of his life – seeing the way their chemistry laid itself out in front of you, you couldn’t help but second guess his words.

On the day of her arrival, you waited behind the various council members lined up to greet her, Obi-Wan standing first in the formation as you watched her spacecraft arrive. Being that you we’re only a Jedi Knight, you weren’t permitted to stand at the front lines besides the man you loved, your physical presence being pushed back causing a sting to sear the depths of your heart, you wanting nothing more than to stand your ground to the woman from his past, to make it known that her ex-lover was now one you could entirely call yours.

Landing, she followed behind a handful of her own men, her handsomely exiting the craft and walking across the docking bay to meet with the crowd you stood amongst. You cringed with jealousy as she immediately approached Obi-Wan, her hand extending for what you hoped to be just a handshake, your insides heating up as she pulled him in for a swift peck to the cheek. You thought to yourself that the gesture was possibly the way she greeted people - being a Duchess and all – though you were only to be proven wrong as her welcoming continued to the remainder of the council with nothing more than friendly smiles and firm handshakes.  

After the brief introductions, Obi-Wan and herself separated from the group and slowly made their way to you, his smile warm as he met your gaze.

Stating your name, he introduced you to the woman beside him, his words thick with pride as he spoke, “She’ll be working beside me during your stay at the temple. She’s one of our greatest Jedi, extremely noble and kind”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you” you voiced through gritted teeth, you extending your hand out as you forced a smile.

“And the same to you” she replied as she cupped your hand with her own. Your façade faltered slightly as she shook your hand, the grasp firmer than you expected causing your smile to fall. Although you didn’t know exactly what it was, you could feel a shift in the Force around you the moment her skin came in contact with yours, and immediately you raised your guard, you pulling your hand from hers with a snap.

“We’ve been ordered to accompany and protect you whilst you’re here on Coruscant, so anything you wish to do, or any request’s you have, either of us will be more than honoured to lend a hand” Obi-Wan stated, breaking the building tension between the three of you, your jealousy continuing to rise as the woman placed a gentle touch of her hand to Obi-Wan's shoulder, her lashes fluttering slowly as she spoke.

“That’s very kind of you both. Though I would love a tour of this exquisite temple, I am quite worn out from my flight. Perhaps tomorrow you could show me around?”

Obi-Wan glanced at you from the side of his eye, him sensing your uncomfortability, his tone turning flat as he replied, “We’d be more than happy to do that first thing in the morning”

“Lovely, in the morning it shall be. Now if you don’t mind, I do wish to be shown to my quarters so I can get some rest”

Before you allowed either of them to speak another word, you voiced the first thought that came to mind, their attention snapping to you as you spoke, “I can escort you there myself if you wish?”

The blonde’s expression fell, her eye’s squinting just long enough for you to notice before returning to her friendly front once more, her arms waving in dismissal as she replied.

“Well, I do appreciate the offer, but that won’t be necessary as of now. I'm sure Kenobi is capable of handling it, and I do believe we have some catching up to do, don’t we, General?”

He paused for a short beat before speaking once more, his apologetic eye’s meeting yours as he spoke, “That we do”

The woman hummed in approval, her arms crossing over her chest as she rotated to face Obi-Wan, her face turning to look at yours once more.

“It’s been a pleasure meeting you, Jedi. Have a pleasant evening”

“You too” you replied bluntly. You remained standing, watching with a keen eye as the two exited docking bay, you huffing a sigh once they were completely out of sight.  

From that moment on, you held a strong distaste towards the Duchess, her possessive clinging to your boyfriend irritating you to an unhealthy extent. The interaction replayed on a loop in your mind as you rushed through the heightened hallways of the temple, you releasing the string of cusses you withheld from saying once you were in the privacy of your home.  

After freshening yourself, you changed into your evening clothes when you heard a soft knock at your door, the rhythm of the taps one you heard on most nights. Knowing who it was, you gave him access into the house without having to leave the couch you were resting on, the door sliding close with a hiss as he stepped into the room.

“Good evening, my love” he said, softly seating himself beside you, your eyes remaining shut as you replied.  

“Mmmh, hello”

You jumped slightly at the touch of his hand finding yours, his lengthy fingers intertwining themselves with your own as he sighed, your eyes fluttering open to see the upset expression he held.

“You’re feeling troubled about the Duchess, aren’t you?”

“I don’t-”

“Don’t try and hide it. As good as a liar you may be” he spoke, voice thick with sarcasm as his face closed in on yours, “I can always see right through you”. He finished the sentence with a strong peck to your cheek, your mood instantly lightening.

“I know, Obi. But she’s just... it’s obvious she’s still clinging to some part of... well, of you”

“I know, my love, bu-”

“She’s not shy of hiding it, either. And you saw the way she dismissed me! I’m just as much of a guardian to her presence while she’s here as you are”

“And I agree with yo-”

You slipped your hands from his, you now crossing your arms over your chest as you continued, “You also weren’t too shy of her company either, General. You didn’t exactly show a distaste towards her”

He laughed, shifting closer to you as his hands found your face. His thumb began stroking the skin of your cheek, you trying your hardest to fight against it, but as you looked into his kind eyes, you instantly caved, your head tilting into his palm.

“If I could, I'd tell her to steer clear of our path for the rest of our days, but that would not leave the best impression for council member, would it?”

“I guess...”

“Believe me, sweetheart, I'd love nothing more than to prove to her - prove to this entire galaxy - just who my heart truly belongs too” he mumbled, his sweet tone turning playful as his head dipped once more, him pressing sloppy kisses to the underside of your jaw, the tickle of his beard causing you to squirm. “But we both know that’s not possible”

“I know, Obi-Wan, I know. I just don’t like it”

“Just two weeks we have to put up with it, and then I'm back to being entirely yours” he said, his face aligning with yours as his lips made contact with your own, the kiss sweet and soft, “And maybe I'll reward you for putting up with her once we’re finished with this assignment”

“Obi-Wan!” you giggled into the kiss, your hand swatting the side of his torso as he laughed.

And you believed him, his reassurance easing your anxious mind for the first week of the Duchess’s stay. Until the second week rolled around – your mindset shifting as things began to change.

At first, it was only the little things that threw you off – whether it be the way she’d only aim her conversations towards him as yourself and Obi-Wan would escort her to places around the temple, or her constant lingering gazes directed his way, the fondness she held for him evident behind her eyes – her always leaving you feeling excluded. And in all truthfulness, you would be happy to avoid any form of contact with her, but not at the expense of your lover being the only person she’d continually communicate with.

Though, as infuriating as those moments were, they we’re bearable, Obi-Wan sticking to his nightly routine of sneaking to your apartment, spending his evenings showering you with the love you knew he only held for you. However, on the night the Jedi Master was called to an urgent meeting, you then left alone in the company of Satine, things began to change.

After sitting bored in the corner of the room, you impatiently waiting for the dinner with the Duchess and her men to end, she eventually finished her meal, the two of you beginning to walk silently beside one another as you escorted her back to her quarters.

The tension was uncomfortable, and as uneasy as you felt strolling alongside the woman, you withheld yourself from showing it.

“So, Kenobi tells me you’re soon to become a Jedi Master” the woman spoke, breaking the silence.

“My trails are coming up in a few weeks” you replied as you forced the friendliest tone you could manage.

“I don’t mean any offence, but you seem a tad too... youthful, to be a Master”

Her words hit your nerves, your jaw clenching at her spiteful yet sugar-coated words.

“I beg to differ” you shot back, your head forward as you continued, “I am not far behind some of the other Masters in years, and I am well of age, though I will take your confusion with compliments. Besides, the council will have decided I'm ready to become a Master based off my combat and skill, not my age”

In the peripheral of your vision, you caught sight of her blank expression turning into a frown, her eyes squinting slightly as they focused on the hallways before you.  

“Very well” she said, her elegant tone no longer present, her words now flat, underlying with hostility, “It seems Obi-Wan is quite fond of you”

A small panic began to arise in my mind. Your ego somewhat became boosted by her words, though you couldn’t help but become worried, you certain your boyfriend wouldn’t dare to open up about your secret relationship to anyone.

“He is? What gives you that impression?”

“He seems to hold you in high regard. Given that you aren’t his Padawan, it’s a tad unordinary for him to speak so highly of you. You are only just another Jedi within this temple after all, aren’t you”

Your blood began to boil, her distaste towards you crystal clear. You could tell she was jealous of the way Obi-Wan spoke about you, you flattered to know he’s been telling her this in formation, though you knew she was catching on to the hints of your relationship with the man. If you could, you’d scream in her face that he was yours, not hers, but you couldn’t, so you held your ground, your tone smart as you replied, the two of you now approaching the entry to her chambers.

“If you were here long enough, you’d begin to know that a lot of the people here are quite fond of me. Though I've known General Kenobi for quite some time, I've proven myself to be likeable amongst most, Padawan or not. So no, I don’t think it’s ‘unordinary’, though it’s a shame you’re stay isn’t long enough to understand why” you announced with a smile, the two of you coming to a slow as you now stood at the front door of her apartment, you taking pride in your speech.

The Duchess smiled, though the expression failed to meet her cold eyes. Punching a pin into the keypad beside the door, she turned to look at you, giving you a small nod as she spoke, “I see. Well, I appreciate you escorting me here”

“The pleasure was mine, Duchess. Have a good evening”

The door sliding open, she walked inside before turning to face you, her face now holding an expression you struggled to read, her voice lingering with hints of sarcasm as she replied, “Oh believe me, I will”

Before you had the chance to question her, the door slid shut, you confused by her words as you began your walk back to your home, an uneasy feeling beginning to churn in the pits of your stomach.  

You waited the entirety of the evening for Obi-Wan to show up, you desperate to express your rage towards the Duchess to him, but he never showed. There had been instances before when you’d be in the same situation, him held back in a council meeting, or off running errands he couldn’t postpone, yet this time you couldn’t help but feel different. Even your attempts of reaching out to him through the Force backfired, him completely closed off to you, alarm bells now beginning to ring in your mind.

And from that night onwards, you noticed a shift in Obi-Wan. The following morning you headed to Satine’s chambers, only to be met by herself and your lover chatting joyously in the hallways of the temple, something that was completely new. You greeted the two cautiously, Obi-Wan casually wishing you a good morning, him acting no different to how he usually would.  

As the day passed, you attempted many times behind the Duchess’s back to grab his attention, him gently shrugging you off with a soft “not now”. Although you were hurt, you understood that discussing his absence in public was not the best option, but your heart still ached the same anyway.

The day passed, you exhausted from attending countless meetings between the Duchess and the council, you retiring to your room where you waited for Obi-Wan to stick to his nightly routine, and to your disappointment once again, he failed to show. By this point, you knew something was definitely wrong, you headed to bed with a heavy heart, your overthinking mind failing to silence itself causing you to endure a sleepless night.

When the following morning rolled around, you stuck to your schedule and made your way to Satine’s apartment, confused on your arrival to find the entrance hallway deserted, you sensing the inside of her chambers to be empty. Your stomach churned as you waited while the minutes passed, hopeful for the pair to show up, them failing to do so causing you to be overrunned with anger and concern.

You set off with a quickened pace, unsure of exactly where you were going, you roaming the halls of the temple in search for answers until you spotted a familiar face – Mace Windu. You approached the man with caution, careful to not disrupt him before making your presence known.

“Master Windu, may I have a moment?” you said, him rotating with shock to face you now standing behind him.

“Sure” he replied, his arms lost in his robes as they crossed over his chest, his face holding its usual unimpressed expression.

“I arrived to the Duchess’s chambers as per the schedule, yet I failed to find herself or General Kenobi. Do you have any idea whereabouts they might be?”

“We’re you not informed of the change?”

“Change?”

“Satine rearranged the terms of the mission, you’ve been relieved of your duties for the remainder of her stay”

“Relieved? And what of Kenobi?”

“He’s now the core guardian of her duration here”

His words caused your pulse to quicken, you struggling to compose yourself at his reply, your emotions boiling to the brim as you began to back away, you mummering a small thank you to the man as you walked in the opposite direction, heading back for your apartment.  

You decided to take a detour, a feeling inside you pushing you to change your usual path, you following the sudden instinct. Your mind raced at a million miles per minute. You were outraged, certain that Satine was the one’s pulling these strings so she could have Obi-Wan to herself, but mostly, you were upset, confused by not only your partners lack of communicating these changes with you – something he’d always do – but his growing distance, his change of demeanour causing you to miss him.  

Rays of light flashed by you as you passed the floor length windows, your hold of your emotions beginning to slip out of your control, and just when you thought you could hold out till you reached the privacy of your home, you saw something that tipped you over the edge.

Obi-Wan and Satine walking through the outside grounds, her arm linked under his as they strolled past the rows of flowers, her head tilted to rest on his shoulder. It was obvious he was taking lead of the conversation, a constant smile glued to her face as he spoke, his eyes looking down at hers – him looking at her the same way he looked at you.

You paused, your hand cupping your mouth as you watched in disbelief, praying to the stars that you were hallucinating, or caught amidst a twisted nightmare. But you weren’t, everything you were witnessing nothing but reality, tears freely flowing down your flushed cheeks as you watched.

Sick to your stomach, you were unable to take in the sight before you any longer, you jetting off with the same speed you used on a battle field, residents of the temple watching you with confusion as you sprinted past them.

Out of breath, hair wild and face flushed, you used the Force to unlock the front door to your home which caused a crowd of people behind you to gasp with shock. Once inside, your emotions began to spiral without any constraint, you marching to your bedroom and collapsing onto the mattress.

You stayed there for hours, your body unmoving as you wept, your mind unable to believe the concept of Obi-Wan rekindling his connection with the Duchess. Given his actions over the past few days, the calculations were adding up in your mind, but you refused to accept the possibility of it, wanting nothing more than for Obi-Wan to show up the way he used too and reassure you that you we’re completely out of your mind.

And that’s when the idea struck you.  

If he was going to push you away and completely avoid you, then you we’re going to confront him. Even if you were completely wrong about his and Satine’s hypothetical situation – and you deeply prayed that you were – then you still had good reasoning to show up unannounced, you still concerned by his change of behaviour.

Rising from your bed, you wiped your tear-stained face and opened your cupboard, you pulling your oversized robe from a hanger and slipping it on, pulling the hoodie over your head as you swiftly left the apartment. The temple was quiet, a few roaming creatures here and there, but nowhere near as populated as it was during the day. As you walked, you kept your head low, the reflections of the bright city lighting up the marble tiled floor giving your mind a small sense of distraction, of ease.

As you drew nearer to Obi-Wan's apartment, you masked your Force signature – not only to keep you hidden from him, but also any other council members that may catch onto your whereabouts. You treaded lightly as you approached his door, you now coming face to face with the metallic surface, your hand raising as you prepared to knock, you catching onto the soft mumbling of voices inside causing you to stall. You knew if you used any Force abilities to eavesdrop, Obi-Wan would catch on in an instant, so instead you gently pressed your ear to the door, the volume of the voices becoming audible.

“...we have changed, Satine. Things are no longer the way they used to be”

“But we can change that, my dear. I know how capable you are of adapting to anything, and you know I'll look after you, protect you”

Your heart dropped at the sound of her voice, your jaw slacking from the shock of not only him residing in her company, but him having her inside his home at such early hours of the morning.

“That’s easier said than done. If... if you’d had asked me this question all those years ago, I would’ve done it with no hesitation. But I have people here that I care for, people that I love. I can’t just put them behind me if I leave the Jedi Order”

As the words left his lips, your eyes widened, your legs almost giving out. Was he considering leaving the Jedi Order?  

With the question echoing through your mind, your already hot skin began to sear with rage, your untamed emotions starting to spiral out of control once more. You wanted nothing more than to walk away, to pretend you weren’t hearing the conversation between the two, to forget it even happened, but you couldn’t, you pressing your ear firmer against the door to receive a better listen.

“If their devotion for you is real, then they’d be happy for you to choose the life you truly desire” Satine said, her voice unlike you’ve heard it before, the spiteful tone she’d taken with you now sweet and sultry, surely to be luring the man you loved in. “And it’s not like you can’t see them again. Although you’d no longer be a General, or a Master, you’d still be the Obi-Wan they know and love"

Obi-Wan hummed in agreement, you instantly recognizing the noise – he was in thought. You began to panic; would he say yes? Would he honestly go through with it?

The Duchess spoke again, disrupting your train of thought.

“And it’s not like you’d be alone. You have me, Obi-Wan, and I promise you that my love will be enough”

“I know” he mumbled, his voice switching to a much happier tone, realisation falling over you like a ton of bricks. All your thoughts, your conspiracies about the two were real. Satine was still in love with Obi-Wan, and by the sounds of it, the feeling was well reciprocated.

In the moment, your angered expression contorted, your features turning soft as sorrow began to blanket you, tears welling in your eyes. The man you loved was no longer yours, and the heart that belonged to him began to fall apart, shattered pieces cutting your insides like a sharpened blade.

Just as you were about to turn away, the woman voiced herself for a final time, you feeling sick to your stomach as you held your stance against the entryway.

“So what do you say? Once my time here is finished, will you return home, with me?”

You both waited, anticipating his response, only to be met by silence. And just when you thought he’d had a change of heart – that he’d reject her offer – you heard the noise that completely shattered your entire being, mind, heart and soul. The hum of her approval echoed around the room accompanied by the sounds of his lips smacking against hers.  

You’d had enough, physically unable to withstand another second of what you were hearing. You pushed yourself backwards, coughing out a cry as you hurried off with a quickened pace, your vision blurred by the stream of tears escaping your eyes. Before you had the chance to stop yourself, your body collided with a figure you hadn't noticed approaching you, your head jerking to look up at the face as you rebounded from his chest.

Before you had a chance to run off, his arms caught the sides of your shoulders, his expression turning worried as he said your name, “What’s wrong?! What happened?!”

“Anakin, let me go!” you cried, your hands pushing his away from your frame, you sidestepping away from him before running off, him jogging after you while shouting your name before coming to a stop, the echoes of his calls now behind you.

Winding your way across the other side of the temple, you now within the four walls of your home, you forced the door of your bedroom open, heading to the cupboard and tearing a suitcase out from the top shelf. Your mind was blurred, your thoughts unstable as you vigorously began tearing your belongings from their designated places within your home, you throwing them into the open bag that laid on the floor.

Lost in your clouded rage, you didn’t notice the door to your home opening, you only catching on when the figure appeared in your peripheral. He stood, stunned as he watched you move back and forth across the room with purposeful speed, you pausing as he spoke your name.

“What are you doing?!”

“You need to leave, right now!” you shouted, rage now coursing through your veins at the sight of the man you momentarily despised.

“Anakin told me he found you standing outside my door. Please believe me, whatever you saw or heard-”

“I said you need to leave! Now!”

“Sweetheart, can we plea-”

The sound of the name he called you caused something inside you to snap, your hands lifting in front of you as you let the power run through your fingertips, his body sliding backwards from your Force push.  

“No!” you protested, your chest heaving as unsteady breaths fell from your mouth, Obi-Wan's expression drowned with complete shock as he watched you, “You do not get to call me that! How moronic do you believe me to be, Obi-Wan? Do you really think of me as some sort of fool?!”

“Of course not! But you need to let me expl-”

“I don’t need to let you do anything! I know what I heard, what I’ve been witnessing for the past week! You think you can just avoid me, block me out? And I’d let it slide like nothing's changed at all?!”

“It’s not what you think”

You laughed, scoffing at his excuse, you resuming with tossing your belongings into your luggage, Obi-Wan stepping forward as you did so, “Not what I think? Right. So you not showing up of a night, romantically strolling with her through the grounds, being the core leader of this mission, kissing her, is what, some sort of false act?”

He slowly inched himself beside you, cautious of his movements as he attempted to stop you, his voice worried as he spoke, “You’re packing, why?”

“Being that you’re now her care guardian for the remainder of her stay, there’s no need for me to be here, or was I delusional about that?”

“Where are you going to go?”

“Anywhere that’s away from this bullshit”

You felt the grip of his hand meeting your wrist, you immediately pulling your arm back to your side, you turning to stand face to face with the man.

“No! You can’t leave, we need to discuss this, please”

“I can’t leave? But isn’t that what you were planning on doing anyway? Or did I interpret that wrong as well?”

His face fell as silence haunted the room, a frown forming at his lips as his eyes dropped from yours, pain passing behind his orbs as he took in the floor beneath you.

You took the moment to control your breathing, you sighing as your anger was overtaken by sadness, your tone gentler as you mumbled, “Do you still love me?”

His eyes snapped to meet with yours, his hands reaching forward to take hold of your own, him squeezing your palm as you finally allowed him to hold you, his reply lingering with emotion as he cooed “Of course I do, sweetheart. I love you with my entire being, you know that”

“But do you love her?”

He blinked, your name softly falling from his lips, your already shattered heart splitting an inch deeper at his missing answer.

“Satine, Obi-Wan. Do you love her?”

Head lowered, his eyes dropped to the floor once more, his silence speaking louder than any words could, you understanding his absent answer. And although you were now completely broken, your love for the man still lingered, you speaking before your mind had the chance to catch up with your voice, you ripping your hands from his hold.

“I’m leaving at sunrise”

His head tilted to meet yours, his mouth opening to speak, you cutting him off as you continued.

“I refuse to be second to anyone, but my love for you stems too deep... and as ill-witted as I may be for doing so, I can’t just leave you behind. So I'm giving you a choice. I’ll wait for you till sunlight reaches the horizon, if you show, then you leave the Duchess behind and we can work this out. But if you don’t, I wish to never see nor hear from you again. The ball is in your court, Obi-Wan, so best you choose wisely”

Your eyes met his for a final time before you turned your back to him, him mumbling a sorrowful “I understand” as he left the room, an ache in your heart forming at his lack of fight, the old Obi-Wan who you once loved being someone who’d have never allowed you to be in this situation in the first place. Maybe he wasn’t the man you’d believed him to be after all.

You stuffed the remainder of your goods into the luggage, the bag running on the emptier side’s due to your lack of possessions, though what you carried was enough to last you for however long you were escaping for. As you waited for the morning to draw closer, you retired to the living area of your home, you laid across the couch as you fiddled with the chilled handle of your saber, you burnt out from your whirlwind of emotions, though you struggled to find any form of peace.

The sky began to grow a shade of pink, apprehension rising in your bloodstream as you knew it was your time to leave. Slipping on your robe once more, you attached your saber to your hip and took hold of your suitcase, a strange feeling in your stomaching beginning to form as you took in the stripped room around you. Shrugging the feeling away with a deep breath, you rolled the bag along the floor, you exiting the apartment as you began your bath to the docking bay.

Hood resting on your hair, your head down, you avoided the little commuters roaming the halls, your pace smooth as your exterior kept calm – your insides, however, were of the complete opposite end of the spectrum, your state worsening as you arrived to the platform, your ship sitting vacant. Approaching the craft, you unlatched the back hatch and shoved your bag into the trunk, the pink skies growing stronger with each passing minute, your unease following suit.

Time was wearing thin as you waited, the sunrise behind you almost due to touch the line of the horizon, your stomaching doing flips as you lingered, desperate to spot Kenobi’s frame in the distance.  

“He’ll show” you whispered aloud in attempts to quieten your worrying thoughts, “he has to”

However, time continued to pass, the buildings around you now painted orange from the reflection of the skies behind you, your skin growing warm as the sun slowly rose. With each fleeting moment, you grew more and more frantic, the deadline for his arrival impending. Your hands grew shaky as your eyes frantically danced from each entrance to the bay, his presence still missing, you continuing your reassuring thoughts as you waited.

And waited, you did, until you felt the warming presence of the beams of lights now grazing your skin, your heart sinking as your body ran numb. He was late, no sign of him to be seen. He wasn’t coming.

Allowing yourself to cave into the benefit of the doubt, you waited for a few extra moments, the sun now detached from the horizon as it lifted itself into the sky, you stranded, dumbfounded by his absence.  

Unable to stand alone for another moment, you climbed aboard your ship, your eyes watering for a final time as you switched on the engine, the switchboard jolting to life as you grabbed a hold of the wheel, you taking a final glance at the grounds below you, disappointed to find yourself still alone.  

A single warm tear slipped onto your cheek as you lifted the craft from the ground, you now diverting your attention to the skies ahead of you, a weak sob passing through your lips as you came to acceptance of your situation – despite it all, you still loved him, yet your love wasn’t enough, him choosing her over you.  

[murdockussy]

angst with obi wan please? maybe him and the reader parted ways with a fight yk (ending of rots) but the feelings they had never left and they both constantly think of each other then (set in obi wan kenobi) where reader saw obi wan again but they didn’t approach him because of guilt until he somehow felt them in the force? and finds and talks to them? then maybe comfort & soft!obi :3 thank you! i love your works btw <33

Thank you so much!! And thank you for being my first request, I loved writing this and I hope you enjoy <333

(I am open to taking requests, head to my masterlist to read more about it!!)

After All This Time

Warnings: Nightmares, fighting, guilt, sadness, but dw bc it's a happy ending aka fluff and soft!obi :)

Words: 5,500 ish (oops)

You woke from your sleep, your limbs aching and eyes heavy, your mind caught in an emotional storm from your dream, one that reoccurred every so often when you fell into a deep slumber.  

The final time you saw him - Obi-Wan.  

You searched high and low across Coruscant for him after receiving his warning for remaining Jedi such as yourself to not return to your home, as well as the fall of the Order and the Republic. You were scared, not only for yourself, but for your future – all that you knew being left within the destruction of the temple. You had no place to go, no guidance or directions of what to do, all that was left for you to hold onto was the brightly shining signature of the Force within Obi-Wan, and you held onto it for dear life.  

Climbing aboard your small space craft, you switched on the ignitions, jetting off the planet as your switchboard calibrated itself, a small dot on your tracking device alerting you on the whereabouts of the man you were desperate to find. He was travelling within the outer rim, seeming to leave a planet you’ve only heard about – Mustafar. You we’re baffled to what his reasoning could be for the planets visit, you desperately trying to contact his ship as you raced behind him, the both of you headed for Polis Massa. As he drew closer, your attempts of communication were ignored until he was completely out of sight, his ships movement no longer on your switchboard, him landing on the planet while you followed pursuit.  

It had taken you longer than you’d hope for to reach the cratered planet, finding the ship Obi-Wan was previously flying now sitting dormant inside the docking bay, your curious mind flooded with questions as you touched down besides his parked transportation. Switching off the ignition, you dashed out of your ship in a hurry, doing a lap around Obi-Wans to confirm no one was inside, a familiar green creature approaching you. 

You turned at the call of your name, you relieved to see the friendly face. 

“Master Yoda! I’m so relieved to see you, I-” 

“Not here, you should be, young Jedi” 

“I came to find Obi-Wan, I received his message. Is it true what he said?” 

“Afraid so, I am” 

“Is he here? I tracked him leaving Mustafar, I need to speak with him” 

“Inside” he replied, cutting the conversation short as he pivoted and hurried back towards the building, you catching up by his side, your insides beginning to churn over the whole situation – you truly didn’t have a good feeling about any of it, and looking back now, you were right all along. 

Yoda led you through the building towards the medical centre, your anxieties rising as you fretted the idea of Obi-Wan being harmed in any kind of way, and the feeling of the disturbance within the Force surrounding you wasn’t giving you any kind of ease. That was until the creature led you down a hallway towards an operation room, the glass windows showing the figure of a man you recognised in an instant - it was him. You raced around the corner, not taking notice of your surrounds, only focused on him as he remained lost in thought, not even your presence in the Force drawing him to you. 

Your quickened pace slowed to a complete stop as you took in the man standing before you. There was no signs of his usual welcoming and warmth, all signs of his glee and charm no longer evident. His head was lowered, one arm resting across his chest supporting the other that covered half of his face. His eyes were shut, his palm rubbing over his cheek and his eyebrows furrowed deep in thought. This wasn’t the Obi-Wan you knew, the one you’ve grown to love over all those years. The man that stood in front of you was darkened by his emotions, completely broken. 

It wasn’t until Master Yoda passed you, humming to make his presence known, Obi-Wan lifting his head to look at the creature to then catch a glimps of you standing infront of him, his attention now completely diverting as his eyes widened when they met yours. He spoke your name in utter disbelief, his stance straightening as shock took over his system. 

“Obi-Wan” you replied with a half-smile, completely washed with relief, wanting nothing more than to run into his arms and meet his soft lips with yours, something you’d only do in private.  

He stepped forward, taking a quick glace to look back at Yoda and Senator Bail Organa, his voice wavering as he spoke. 

“Excuse us, I must speak with her in private” 

He walked beside you, his pace quick as he led you to a vacant room, him grabbing your arm and pulling you in for a tight embrace once the two of you were alone, you wrapping your arms around the width of his waist, your eyes shutting as your face pressed into his neck.  

“Oh Obi-Wan, as soon as I received your message, I knew I had to find you. I wish you’d have called, I've been worried sick” 

“I’m deeply sorry, my love. I wanted nothing more than to reach out, but with the empire rising, who knows what their dark shadow has a hold of. If they cut into our communications, or if they got a hold of you, I'd-” 

“It’s okay. I’m here now, were safe” 

“That’s what I fear... I don’t know how long it can stay this way” 

His words caused your pulse to skip a beat, the feeling of dread growing stronger than before as you peeled your body away from his, your eyes confused as you stared up at him, “What do you mean?” 

Taking a step back with a deep sigh, he shook his head as his eyes took sight of the floor, his voice flat as he spoke, “I don’t believe what I did was enough” 

“What you did? Obi-Wan, what happened?” 

“Anakin. He... he turned to the dark side” 

“Anakin?” you gasped. If Obi-Wan wasn’t saying it all, his Force presence spoke louder than any words could. He was angry, disappointed, but most of all, he was grieving, and it wrapped around the both of you like a weighted blanket, you mentally connecting the dots in an instant, “He caused this, didn’t he?” 

“He was twisted by the dark side and became Palpatine's apprentice, bringing forth the Empire. The Chancellor, he deceived all of us, with everything, but Anakin he deceived most of all” 

“He’s a good kid Obi-Wan. He is stronger than he knows. There may still be light in-” 

“There’s not!” Obi-Wan snapped, you taken by surprise at his sudden volume, “He chose the path of the Sith, Padmé couldn’t save him, nor could I! It was too late!” 

“Too late? Obi-Wan, tell me what’s going on!” 

His voice cracked as he shouted your name, his frustration beginning to pour through, and you were now at the receiving end of the stick, “He became too dangerous. I saw the footage, him taking the lives of the innocent. Teachers, workers, younglings – their blood on his hands and he showed no remorse!” 

“What if he can change? If we could-” 

“We can’t! He’s gone!” 

“Gone?” your shook your head in disbelief, “Please tell me he-” 

“Destroying the Sith is what I have to do! The boy- Anakin, he is no longer a threat” 

Your eyes welled with tears, you stunned to your core at Obi-Wans words. As much as you loved Anakin, you knew the loss you felt would never amount to what Anakin's own Master would be feeling, let alone how hard it would’ve been for Obi-Wan to be the one to destroy him.  

“Obi” you whispered, your tone low as you approached him, his chest rising and falling at a rapid pace, you opening your arms to embrace him only to be rejected by the dismissal wave of his hand. 

“That doesn’t mean we’re safe from the emperor. They’ve taken the lives of so many Jedi, it isn’t safe for you to be anywhere but laying low” 

“For me? We can’t just let this Empire trample us like bugs, we can fight back!” 

“No, we can’t! Not like this” 

His change in demeanor took you by surprise. The Obi-Wan you knew would rarely back down, especially to people that stand against all he believes, and his lack of determination caused you to spark with anger. Not because you were mad at him, but because you we’re afraid he truly meant what he was speaking, that he truly had given up on any hope. 

“So you’re just going to let them take over, you’re going to completely give up on everything you’ve lived to believe, to fight for?!” 

“I have other priorities” 

“That being what?” 

“Padmé. Although she birthed healthy twins, she didn’t survive much longer after. I must deliver her son, Luke, to his family and... watch over him, on Tatooine” 

Your crack in your heart deepened, you taking in the news of another person you loved no longer with you, you mumbling as you spoke, “I’m so sorry, Obi. I can come with you, we can deliver the baby and figure out where to go from there” 

Obi-Wan remained silent, his head dropping to the floor once more causing your pulse to quicken, “Obi-Wan?” 

“We... You, you can’t” 

His rejection shattered the remaining pieces of your heart, a pit forming in the bottom of your stomach as your skin began to burn hot. 

“Why can’t I? I can help you, Obi-” 

“I can’t let you do this” 

“If you’d just-” 

“No, I can’t-” 

Your anger rising, your pitch raised as you stepped closer to him, “Stop saying you can’t and explain to me why!” 

“It’s not safe!” his tone matched yours as he shouted his reply, “If we’re together, if someone catches onto us through the Force, we’re at risk, and the boy may be as well. I can’t allow myself to let that happen!” 

“So what are you saying? You’re asking me to stay away? To not go with you? Not be by your side?” 

“It’s not like that-” 

“It’s exactly like that, Obi-Wan. I love you, and I refuse to let you push me away, especially when we need each other most!” 

“When the time is right, I promise to find you, but I'd be foolish to let you risk your safety by staying with me” 

“But what about what I want?! Let’s just figur-” 

“No!” he called, his skin flushed red with anger, “I need to do this, and I'm sorry but I can’t bring you with me” 

You stood there in silence, you looking at him with complete disbelief, the tears freely flowing down your face as he looked away, unable to meet your gaze. 

“This is it then? I just leave, go hide somewhere and wait for the man that I love to just magically appear whenever and wherever?” 

Your question was met by complete silence, you growing furious at his missing answer, “Is my love for you not enough? All these years, all we’ve been through, just to be tossed aside? I understand we’re amist difficult times, Obi, and I'm afraid too, but if you just let me come with you, we can sort this out!” 

His eyes still glued to the floor, your hands bawled into fists by your sides, you desperately waiting for Obi-Wan to take back what he’s said, to ask you to join him, to admit your love was enough. Yet he didn’t, his voice despairing as he finally spoke. 

“I’m sorry, but I will do what I must for the boy, and for your safety” 

Completely heartbroken, you look in the sight of the man you no longer recognised, you red with fury as you wiped your tears, the lump in your throat causing your voice to waver.  

“Well, I guess that’s it. Don't bother with any of your promises, I'll be just fine on my own. Goodbye, Obi-Wan" you spat, your eyes taking in a final glance before you turned quickly on your heel and dashed away from the room, everything that ever mattered to you left behind as you eventually exited the building, returning to your ship completely alone. 

Propping yourself up on the thin mattress, you wiped away the bead of sweat from your forehead, the pulsating headache beginning to form within your skull.  You combed your fingers through your hair, you massaging the skin of your hairline as you sighed. Although you weren’t sure of the exact numbers, it had been close to a decade since that day you parted ways with Obi-Wan, and still, you couldn’t manage to shake him from your mind. 

No matter far you’ve progressed in leaving the past behind you, you now pursing the life of a bartender amidst a bustling city, he was the one thing you’d forever struggle to break away from.  

When you first arrived to the planet you’d now call home, you were completely lost, just a shattered shell of who you used to be roaming the streets seeking any form of safety. Winding up inside a quiet bar, just you and the owner – a creature who goes by Grelob - seated inside, you opened up to him, sensing through the Force that he was someone you could trust. He welcomed you in with open arms, allowing you to take residency in the rundown loft above the bar, the both of you led to believe you’d only stay there for nothing short of a week. Though as time went by, the week turned into a month, and before you knew it, you’d created an entire new identity for yourself, working for years on end as a bartender beside Grelob, him becoming the only person you had left to call family. 

In the beginning, you waited days on end for Obi-Wan to stick to his words - the promise you told him to forget. You’d constantly search for his presence in the Force, the dim light that he possessed something you’d grasp onto every night, barely able to keep a hold of it given the distance between you two, and every crowd you’d pass through, you’d seek out his unforgettable face. There were even days when you’d consider giving up on all that you’ve built for yourself, to completely throw your safety out the window and fly to Tatooine, to search high and low until you’ve found him again. 

However, the more time that went on, the more you realised how foolish you’d be to go through with it. Hunting him down would not only put yourself at risk, but him as well. You didn’t know what life he’d created for himself after all this time, and you’d never want to spoil what possible happiness he had after all the misery he’d been through. So you eventually stopped looking for him in public spaces and reaching out to find him through the Force, you keeping his best interest at heart. And as much as it pained you, you we’re strong enough to stick by your decision, though you knew deep down that you’d truly never lay the hope of finding him again to rest, your love for him remaining as strong as it did the day you left that medical centre – and little did you know, the man you loved still felt the exact same way. 

Your legs ached as you stood from your bed, you waddling to the window to look down on the city below, the sun setting welcoming in the night. You spent the remaining time you had free to get ready for the shift ahead of you, you warming up a cup of soup as you dressed yourself in the boring uniform, you tying your hair back off your face to eat your meal. Once finished, you slipped on a pair of run-down boots before checking yourself in the rusted mirror, you displeased with the tired reflection that stared back at you. Hopefully after tonight you’d get a good night's rest – you did have a gut feeling this shift would be different from the rest, and you’d crossed your fingers that those feelings we’re stemming from something good. 

Walking through the back doors, you entered the bar, greeting Grelob with a pat to the arm as eager faces waited at the bar-tables surface, you jumping immediately into taking orders and preparing drinks. The shift went by quickly, you barely having time to remember how exhausted you really were, the only thought present in your mind being how much you missed the days when the bar was barely occupied. Though, everything changed when you were crossing the floor, approaching a table of half drunken people when you spotted a figure entering the front doors, the glasses you were holding in your hand almost sliding onto the floor. 

Practically chucking the drinks at the customers table, your head snapped back to the man that caught your eye, your chest suddenly feeling as though it was caving in as you took in the sight before you. Maybe you’d have been severely confused, your lack of decent sleep finally sending you into a delusional state of him, or maybe you’d been poisoned by a customer you’d failed to satisfy with your service. All possible factors you were unsure of, though the one thing you knew for certain was the face of the ghost from your past, a face that time would never allow you to forget – Obi-Wan. 

Time slowing, you were completely stunned as you watched him stalk through the crowd, head low, hood shielding the top of his hair. He appeared to be in a rush, his unforgettable stride swift as he parted through the mass of people on the floor. Every emotion you’d spent pushing deep down for the good part of a decade suddenly began to rise, you feeling overwhelmed by his presence.  

You stumbled behind a cornered wall, your pulse rising as you watched him come to a halt at the bar, waiting to gain Grelobs attention. Every fiber in your being began to burn, urging you with all its might for you to make your presence known, to approach him. Yet, you remained still, your mind taking over your heart's desires. 

Of all the overwhelming emotions you felt, the one that stood out the most - that made you want to steer as clear from the man as you could – was guilt. Although he remained as handsome as the day you last saw him, the greying beard and fine wrinkled lines across his skin was a sign of all the time that had passed, and the reminder felt like a punch to the gut.  

If you’d only listened to his words, acknowledged the priorities he laid out to you instead of putting yourself first, then maybe - just maybe - things may have been different. If you acted logically instead of emotionally, there may have been a possibility that he’d stick to his promises of finding you. These thoughts were one’s that kept you awake at night, but seeing him just a few meters away from you locked in how much you truly regretted leaving him on that planet.  

As hard as a pill it was to swallow, you knew that avoiding him would be in the best interest of both of you, and that him being there – alive and well – would be enough to bring you a slice of peace, as though you could finally close a chapter from your past.  

However, Obi-Wan felt entirely different. 

It wasn’t until he leaned against the cool surface of the bar, his mind distant as he waiting for assistance, that he felt it. The small twinge inside him, an echo of a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time.  

Completely welcoming the notion, a familiar feeling of warmth and light bursted within him. Reminiscence of soft skin lingered on his fingertips as flashes of a friendly smile passed behind his eyes. Laughter echoed in his ears, and the feathering touch of lips dwaddled against his own. Memories of you suddenly flooded back, the force of it enough to knock him to his feet, his hand gripping the bar before he had the chance to fall. As confused as he felt in the moment, he knew exactly what he was picking up on through the Force – it was you. 

His head whipped to look through the crowd, him beginning to feel frantic as his eyes danced from face to face, his pulse growing rapid with each passing moment. You were here, somewhere in the room, your presence the closest it’s been to him after all these years, and he couldn’t wait a single moment longer to find you.  

And as his eyes raked over the far end of the room, that’s when he spotted you. 

Everything around him became a sudden blur, his vision tunnelling in on only you as your eyes met his – him truly looking at you for the first time since you left the medical centre back on Polis Massa. His breath was knocked from his lungs, his eyes beginning to burn as he stared, unable to truly believe the sight before him. A small sigh escaped his lips, his worrying thoughts finally relieved after all this time - you were alive, and you were here.  

You remained locked under his gaze, mind completely blank until your consciousness snapped back, realisation hitting you like a tone of bricks. Taking a final look, you broke his stare, your head dipping to the floor as you began to weave your way through the crowd, you breaking into a panic as you suddenly found the room suffocating, you struggling to breathe. 

He watched as you moved, his eyes never leaving your frame as he leapt forward, tracking your every movement as he forced his way closer to you. He spotted you breaking away from the crowd, your fast pace headed for the entry into the back rooms of the bar, him quick on your heels as you dashed.  

You could feel him following you, you believing you’d escaped until you found yourself half way through the back of the club when you heard it – his voice calling your name – your body coming to an instant pause as the words left his lips, almost as if you’d ran into an invisible wall. You stood with your back to him, his body just steps behind you, his breathing heavy as he waited, him calling your name once more, voice barely above a whisper. 

You slowly turned, your heart beating faster than it ever had before as you stood now face to face with him, his eyes switching between pain and joy, confusion and wonder, his eyebrows furrowing as you whispered the words you’d dreamt to say after all these years. 

“Obi-Wan...” 

With a deep sigh, he stepped forward, his eyes welling with tears as he extended his arms and dragged your body into his, his face pressing into the top of your hair as he closed his eyes. 

Back in his arms, you were blanketed with a reminder of home, a sob erupting from your chest before you had the chance to stop it, your hands instinctively wrapping themselves around the back of his hips, something you used to do so long ago.  

Clinging to the fabric of his robe, you squeezed him with all your might as if he could slip through your fingers at any moment. 

“I’m sorry" he cried, his voice cracking as he spoke, “I'm so sorry, for everything” 

“Oh, Obi” you said, the cracks deep in your heart beginning to heal themselves as he held you. 

You embraced each other in silence for what felt like hours, you never wanting the hug to end, panic beginning to build as he slowly began to pull back. Your eyes meet his, tears streaming across his flushed cheeks, a small smile pulling at his lips as he took in your appearance, “I don’t... I don’t know what to say. I... I-” 

“Do you want to come upstairs?” you questioned, your insides begging for him to accept the offer, your heart fluttering at the reply of his small nod. 

You remained silent as you lead the way, you taking the time to control your breathing, your tears coming to a stop as you walked up the stairs to your small loft, him remaining only a step behind you. Opening the door, you allowed him to enter before you locked the door behind you, him awaiting your next move. Passing him, you dragged out the metal stools from your makeshift dining table and sat, him hesitantly doing the same, his eyes never leaving your frame as he did so. 

Sucking in a deep breath, your eyes slowly worked their way to his before you spoke, “What are you doing here?” 

You anticipated his answer, a burn deep inside you praying for him to say the words you desperately wanted to hear, you wishing nothing more than for him to tell you he came to find you, a pang of hurt knocking you when he replied. 

“I’ve come to... get hand of fake ID’s, for myself and the girl. I was told that the owner of this bar would be able to suggest some trust worthy people” 

“The girl?” 

“Leia. She was taken from her home, and I was sent to come find her, though leaving this planet seems harder than I anticipated” 

The name wrung a bell in your mind, you unfamiliar with it, though somehow you felt as though it carried some sense of importance. Your confusion was written all over your features, Obi-Wan clearing the thoughts from your mind as he spoke, “Padmé's daughter... Leia is Luke’s sister” 

A small sting singed your heart, and it was obvious to Obi-Wan the pain you felt recalling the name after all this time, your face contorting slightly as he spoke. 

“Luke, how is he doing?” 

“Growing” Obi-Wan replied, his head dipping to look at the floor as he shifted with slight uncomfortability, “There hasn’t been many signs of him being sensitive to the Force as of yet, but it’s providable that he’ll start showing sometime soon” 

You could hear in his speech that his care for the boy was genuine, the gesture leaving you feeling a concoction of emotions. Although this situation was bringing forth the emotions you’d avoided for so long, knowing the man you’d left in the past had someone he still cared for left you feeling comforted. 

“And what of you?” he asked, his eyes meeting yours once more, his small smile masking the dismay he felt in within himself. 

“There’s not much to say” you laughed bluntly, “I’ve been nowhere else but here. Grelob took me in when I arrived, I knew I could trust him since the day I met him. He offered me shelter, and once I began helping him out with his business downstairs, I ended up never leaving” 

Obi-Wan hummed in reply, his eyes lingering on yours, you speaking once more to prevent yourself from caving in to his gaze, “It isn’t much... but it could be worse. How... how about you?” 

“Besides watching over Luke, there hasn’t been much difference. When the time comes, I hope to train him, but until then it’s just a waiting game. Though, it would be nice to get a break from the Tatooine suns” 

You both scoffed with laughter, you shaking your head as a small smile pulled at your lips. Even after all this time, he still had his wit and charm – some things truly never change. 

Sitting in silence, your eyes hung up on one another's, you desperately searched for something to say. You wanted to keep him entertained as long as possible to bask in his presence without bringing up the topic that floated thickly with tension through the air. You knew he wanted to mention it, you could sense it in his mannerisms, his fingers tapping on his thigh as he watched you. Before you had the chance to question him on another minor topic, he spoke your name, the pit in your stomach expanded at his words. 

“Obi-Wan, we don’t-” 

“I need to tell you how sorry I am, though I don’t believe words can do it justice. I simply cannot express enough the regret’s I carry from that day” 

You sighed as you closed your eyelids, the orbs behind them beginning to burn as tears formed, you completely unprepared for this conversation, yet you had a feeling that this may be your only chance to discuss it, that conclusion enough to push your response. 

“I’ve spent so many years waiting for you to show up, to at least send some form of a signal that you’re still there, but you didn’t. And- and I know you’re not at fault, the way-” 

“I am willing to admit that I am at fault, I've spent every waking day since I let you walk away realising just how incredibly foolish I was to allow it. Though no excuse could make up for it, at the time, I believed I could make up for the guilt and grief Padmé felt if I put her’s and... Anakin's.. children first. I thought it would honour her, and honour who he was. But it wasn’t enough, and I couldn’t see that till it was too late” 

Your chest burned as you fought back the sobs desperate to release themselves, your heart aching at his confession – after all this time, he was beating himself up over it just as much as you were, and as hard as you were on yourself, you couldn’t help but understand he would’ve mentally tortured himself twice as much as you had. 

Attempting to interrupt, he continued his apology, tears spilling onto your cheeks as he resumed. 

“Every day I'd debate coming to find you. There has been an ever-growing fire in my bones urging me to do it... but as the years passed, I'd just assumed you’d be better off without me in your life. After all you’ve gone through, the last thing I'd wish to do is to just show up and disrupt what life you’ve created for yourself” 

“Obi” you finally spoke, your emotions fronting themselves freely as you wailed, his weeping eyes mirroring yours, “I thought the same for you. I’ve battled myself for years on holding back from searching for you on Tatooine, not wanting to spoil your happiness with Luke, with yourself-” 

“I haven’t felt happiness since the day I allowed you to leave me. It’s haunted me, all this time, the image of you walking out of that room. I was selfish, stubborn to toss what we had aside. Nothing in this entire galaxy is as important to me as you are, and I can’t apologise enough for how I allowed that to happen... to break your heart with such an ignorant dismissal” 

“I don’t-” 

“I never thought I'd get the chance to make up for it, to say the words I should’ve said all those years ago, but I won’t let this opportunity - to let you - slip through my fingers again” 

Turning in his seat, he extended his arm towards you, his hand entwining itself with yours as he rested them on your lap, his eyes hopeful as he spoke, “I can’t stay here long. Leia, she’s waiting for me to return, but I know the Force led me here to find you, and I can’t leave here without asking, something I should’ve done when I had the chance. I want you to join me” 

Your heart leapt in your chest, your eye’s widening at his words as you chocked out a barely audible reply, “I... Obi-Wan... I don’t- I don’t-” 

“This time apart hasn’t changed how I feel for you. My love for you still burn’s just as bright, and though I failed to tell you before, no matter your decision, I need you to know now. I love you, just as much as I did the last time I saw you. I’ll continue to love you till my dying breath. If you come with me, we can return to Tatooine, together, and decipher a plan for the future. If you don’t wish to accept, I understand, but I need you to know that I don’t want to spend another day in this galaxy without you by my side” 

Your hand gripped his tightly, his words echoing through your mind as you pondered his request. To jump back into your past – to leave behind the life you’ve tried so hard to rebuild – would be difficult. But as strenuous as it may be, you knew that your life wouldn’t be complete without the man seated beside you, his face beginning to drop from your lack of a reply. 

Finally coming to the realisation, a toothy grin fell on your lips as you gushed your reply, his relieved smile mirroring yours as you spoke, “To spend the rest of my days by your side would be my absolute honour. Of course I’ll join you... I love you, Obi-Wan. There isn’t an amount of time, or distance in this galaxy that could change that"