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Rescue Me, Part 7 ~ Obi-Wan Kenobi

I am currently watching the Phantom Menace as I am about to hit post. It's been a long wait for this part, and I thank all of you for your patience. Due to a lot of time and effort (three FULL rewrites that nearly did me in), I'm really, really proud of this part. I hope y'all feel this fic as deeply as I do.

Summary: Y/N and Obi-Wan talk.

Warnings: character trying to recover healthy weight

Word count: 10.5k

Rescue Me masterlist | Main masterlist

The life of a Jedi included daily training of the mind and the body. To be warriors for peace, we could not waver in our convictions or strength. Everything needed to be honed and prepared, so that our very reflexes served our greater purpose.

Since the war had started, my own training had occurred mostly during the steady stream of missions from the Order. In war, Jedi could only focus on the immediate and the practical. We were constantly fighting, talking, healing, or traveling, which meant any chance at sleep was rarely uninterrupted. The opportunity I had been given now—to spend days on end resting to recover—was priceless.

But now, even though my body was weak and in need of rest, my mind would not calm. I lay still on my bedroll in my chambers, my unemployed mind using the silence of the night to jitter through the events of the day.

We need to talk.

I thought the words over and over, but none of them had the same quality from earlier, and none of them garnered any response from Obi-Wan. Remembering the way he’d turned his back on me earlier and just…walked away? It stung. Why had he done it? I knew with absolute certainty that I hadn’t imagined our mysterious communication. Somehow, I’d spoken to Obi-Wan, and in the same mystery way, he’d replied to me.

On Felucia, when I’d prodded Obi-Wan’s Force signature, it’d just been a feeling. These…transmissions were actual, distinct words.

I hadn’t known that was possible.

Then again, I also hadn’t known it was possible for Obi-Wan to sense me on Neftali when he was across the galaxy on Coruscant, and yet he apparently had.

It didn’t make sense. The Force held many mysteries, and I’d long since made my peace with not understanding it completely. I didn’t need to fully understand it to trust that dedicating my life to the Force was good.

But the possibilities of this ability for voiceless communication could change tides of the battle, save Jedi lives, even allow us to share information to establish and maintain peace. So why hadn’t I ever heard about it? Was it a new discovery that just hadn’t been uncovered and explored? Or was it forbidden? Of the dark side? Did this ability signal a weakness in my training rather than a strength?

It couldn’t be. If Obi-Wan also had this ability, it couldn’t be bad. One only had to be near Obi-Wan to sense the light side of the Force. No ability from the dark side could come from that.

But beyond right or wrong…what did it mean? Why was it happening? Why me? Why him?

Giving up on falling asleep, I sat up, not bothering to put on my cloak before leaving my temporary bedchamber. First, I went to the youngling dormitories to check on Ghon. When I opened my padawan’s door, he was asleep, curled up in a tiny ball on the bottom half of his bedroll. Some of the tension in my chest eased at the sight of him. Ghon’s safety was one of things I most worried about. Seeing him safe and getting much-needed rest meant that at least some things were right in the galaxy.

Climbing the stairs, I reached the marble gardens once more. Stepping onto the same path, I walked slowly, wishing that there was a cool breeze to feel or stars to look at. But there was no breeze at all, and the only lights above my head came from ships carrying those headed back to their homes from late events and those headed out for even later events. On Coruscant, there were always people awake, regardless of the hour or the available light. After being isolated in a dark dungeon for days, being completely surrounded by other beings should’ve been comforting, but…I missed the beauty of the galaxy, of nature.

Being back here on Coruscant, even though nothing had changed…it suddenly didn’t feel quite right anymore.

Reaching the spot Master Allie had been meditating earlier, I assumed my own meditative position. To sit so straight made the muscles of my back ache in fatigue, but I managed to stay upright as I closed my eyes.

The Force expanded as I deepened my connection to it, and if it didn’t surround me with such peace, I would’ve felt smothered. But once the peace washed over me, I could feel Obi-Wan’s light nearby, burning powerfully. Its very existence beckoned me, taunted me, forbade me from ignoring it.

Why? I silently asked the Force. Why does it feel like this?

The Force, as peculiar as it was, offered no answer. Jedi spent their whole lives trying to understand the Force, and likely there was no true way to fully understand it until one was wholly reunited with it. This particular mystery shouldn’t have frustrated me…but it did.

If I was supposed to be here, if the Force had given this life, this ability, and these strange feelings to me…then what use was in me not understanding them? What does it mean? I begged. Help me understand.

Nothing changed at first.

Then the light neared, until I felt surrounded by it. If I opened my mouth, the light might pour into my lungs like water and suffocate me.

Then–

“You look thin.”

My heart beat faster in my chest, as if I were somehow in danger. I blinked my eyes open, not caring about what my eyes actually saw when I could feel the light at my back, warming me like rays from a sun. “Perhaps if I were a senator, I’d take that as a compliment.”

A soft chuckle.

The light may have been at my back, but my chest felt the warmth.

“If you were a senator,” Obi-Wan said, “compliments still wouldn’t be my goal, but I’d be much less keen to talk to you.”

Keen? Keen people did not walk away. “If I were a senator,” I fought to keep my voice even, “I’d be in enough danger to warrant your presence here.”

Silence.

Planting my hands on the marble, I pushed myself up onto my feet, intending to turn to face my old master. But my surroundings lightly spun. Disoriented, I misjudged the position of the ground with my foot.

I stumbled.

And then Obi-Wan’s hands were there, cupping my elbows with enough support to keep me upright.

His signature. The light filled me completely, equal parts balm and sting. Those blue eyes nearly glowed in the dark, like they had their own electric current. I could tell he’d bathed since returning—no one coming from Ryloth was ever this clean. Worry tugged at his eyes and forehead, making him seem older and more ragged than I remembered. Similar to seeing my padawan asleep in his room, being close enough to Obi-Wan to feel the warmth in his hands eased something in me.

“Thank you.” I stepped back, too far for him to touch me. His arms fell to his sides.

Obi-Wan ambled over to the nearest ceramic pot to lean his shoulder against it. His air was casual enough, but the rigid set of his shoulders spoke of nearly as much tension as the agitated buzzing of the light. “How is your recovery?”

“Fine.” I looked away from him, suddenly feeling tight again.

The glow of Obi-Wan’s tender curiosity turned to kind disapproval. “You’re not going to tell me any more than that?”

Knowing this man for who he was, he would worry about every pound I still had yet to gain instead of celebrating those I’d managed to earn. Or about the organs still unrecovered instead of counting all those that were functioning normally. I shook my head. “It shouldn’t be your concern.”

Obi-Wan’s light sharpened, like it was testing how bright it needed to be to blind. “I think any lingering issues are my concern.”

“I��m not your padawan, Obi-Wan.” A reminder for myself more than for him. He wasn’t responsible for me. He didn’t need to hear about my burdens. “You’re not even on the council anymore. How could it be your concern?”

“Because I choose for it to be so.”

I stepped towards one of the benches, stalling as I took a seat. Would he think I was taking my recovery too slow? Would he think me weak or lazy? What if he did tell the council what I said? What if they sent Ghon away from me again to a different master? My stomach swooped at the thought of it, like a hyperdrive taking a stop too abruptly and sending everything inside flying. “My heart and brain are functioning normally.”

Obi-Wan didn’t look satisfied. “Has Vokara Che cleared you?” he pressed.

“No.” He frowned, and I sighed, knowing he wouldn’t let up until he had more information. “She’s concerned about my lungs.”

The flickering of Obi-Wan’s light accompanied the tensing of his eyebrows. “And your nutrition? Are your…are the measurements normal?”

I sucked my lips into my mouth, trying not to laugh. “Measurements?”

“You know…nutrients and stuff,” he mumbled, uncertainty clouding the light of his signature.

My laugh burst forth, and I had to press my hand to my chest against the ache in my weak body. A worthwhile ache, to be sure. “Oh, Obi-Wan, you are skilled at a great many things, but you were never meant to be a healer.”

Obi-Wan’s uncertainty melted into an uneven grin. “Anyone could’ve told you that.”

I shook my head, still smiling. “My levels are all normal. My body mass is…” The smile slipped off my face, and I averted my eyes to the swirls on the creamy marble beneath my feet. “It’s proving difficult to recover.”

Pushing off the pot, Obi-Wan came closer, gently taking my hand from my chest and lifting it in front of his face. “Your wrists are wrapped.”

I could feel his grip even through the wrappings. I tried not to dwell on it. “Yeah, after…” I shook my head. “They’re still weak.”

Obi-Wan let go, which allowed me to see his stony expression. “Did…did Dooku have you chained the whole eleven days?”

My stomach twisted unpleasantly. “Yes.”

“And…he starved you?”

It took everything in me to remain still and speak normally. “Yes.”

“When he came in…he said that was the day you decided to give in because you’d shielded yourself. Is that what he was trying to force you to do?”

“Yes.”

He scowled. “Y/N.”

“What?” It didn’t matter if he was giving me the expression he would’ve given me when I was his padawan and he was trying to get me to confess something. He was a Knight now, same as I. “You were there, you saw it, that’s all you need to know.”

“But–”

“I’m fine.” I tried to fill those words with unquestionable resolve. “I talked it over with Master Yoda, and I check in with Vokara Che every day. I am being taken care of.”

Obi-Wan frowned. “What are you doing to get your body mass back? Are you eating well?”

If it wasn’t against my vows to be wasteful, I would’ve succumbed to my dreams of lobbing the energy cubes off the roof of the temple. “I believe my opinion of rations has never been lower,” I said, remembering all the times during Obi-Wan’s mentorship that I’d seen him give his rations to children or clones or even animals. To an outsider, he appeared to be the humble, gracious Jedi Master making sure others had enough to eat. To those who knew him to indeed be those things in other areas, he was the same stubborn, ration-hating man he’d always been.

Expecting Obi-Wan to fake a gag or launch into a rant about the flavor and texture of the sweet cubes, I was surprised when he instead held out his hand palm up.

I eyed it, half-expecting him to hold up one of the blasted cubes, but his hand was empty. “What?”

“Come with me.”

“You don’t need to assist me, I’m not that fragile.”

But though Obi-Wan’s eyes seemed more subdued, his hand stayed where it was. “Will you allow me the opportunity to be courteous?”

For some reason, I felt conflicted about taking his hand. I couldn’t sort it all out, but the longer we stood, the more serious his expression grew. His hand remained outstretched.

Tentatively, I placed my hand in his.

Holding it gently, Obi-Wan led me out of the marble gardens. As we made our way through the Temple corridors, I kept glancing at the walls, feeling as though they were watching us. It was uncommon to see Jedi touching one another, let alone holding each others’ hands. If there were anyone about, it could’ve caused a great stir. But it was nighttime, the corridors were empty, and Obi-Wan held my hand tightly enough to keep me from seriously thinking of taking it away.

My heart rate sped up as we walked down the hallway containing the private rooms of all Masters and senior Knights. Every member of the council except Master Yoda had a room here. The sheer presence of the Force pervaded every step of this corridor, making it perhaps one of the most power-filled places in the galaxy simply because of who slept here. All of whom had always disapproved of me and lately started disapproving of Obi-Wan.

The thought made me cringe as Obi-Wan led me to the door at the farthest end of the hallway and ushered me inside. “They didn’t take your room from you?” I asked.

“No.” Obi-Wan’s dry smile felt so incredibly familiar. “As if taking my room from me would be a consequence I couldn’t bear.”

Obi-Wan’s room resembled the room I was temporarily inhabiting—the same layout of every bedroom in this temple—only bigger and with a table, chairs, and a sofa. The lights were low, intended to encourage sleep. There was a singular scroll on the bedroll in the corner nearest us.

And then my eyes fell upon the chocolate cake resting on the table. “Did you…” I looked up at him, a sort of fluttering in my stomach. “Did you get a cake for me?”

“Well, I…” He scratched his beard, and a dark uncertainty clouded his light, as if the information he was about to share was somehow dangerous. “I knew you’d be trying to regain some weight, a-and you deserve more than those foul cubes, and there’s not much I can do to help you, but I wanted to do something and…” A strangely vulnerable look crossed his face. “I remembered Taris.”

My heart squeezed. “The piece of chocolate cake you let me have.”

“On our last mission together.”

I stared at the cake, feeling my eyes water, like they were reacting to a large gust of wind. That piece of cake had been special indeed, a rare indulgence in the life of poverty I’d been raised. But however sweet the frosting had been, eating it with my master across from me had been sweeter. It was the last meal I’d shared with him before passing my trials and becoming a Jedi in my own right. One of the last times we’d been together as we were.

“Will you…eat it?” Obi-Wan asked, drawing me out of my thoughts.

Suddenly aching as if my old master was once again far from me, I turned to him. “Only if you eat it with me.”

“I–” Obi-Wan cut himself off with a confused look.

He’d been about to say I shouldn’t, I knew it somehow with complete certainty. Just as I knew he’d realized that if he shouldn’t, I shouldn’t either. I could feel the conflict in the flickering of his light, but I stayed quiet.

“I would be honored,” Obi-Wan said finally.

Without saying anything, it seemed we were both trying to relive that final meal. We sat in chairs across the table from each other, and even though cutting us both our own piece would make sense, Obi-Wan cut a singular piece for a singular plate and a pair of forks. I couldn’t remember exactly how the cake on Taris had tasted and so couldn’t determine how similar this one was. Regardless, it was still one of the best things I’d ever eaten.

Obi-Wan never took two bites in a row, always waiting for me to take one before he did. He studied each bite I took, as if measuring it before cutting himself an equal or smaller portion. I’d always appreciated how fair-minded Obi-Wan was, both towards myself and everyone we encountered. But now, as he watched me eat with piercing attention akin to a hunter, I was almost annoyed by his obsessive equitability. “You can take a big bite,” I said finally.

He shook his head. “I brought it for you.”

“And I want to share it with you.”

“We are sharing it!”

We held each other’s gaze stubbornly. A smile crept onto Obi-Wan’s face, and I couldn’t help smiling back. This. This felt right.

I returned to the cake, not pressing the point.

“How is Ghon settling in?” Obi-Wan asked.

In spite of myself, a wide smile spread across my face. “He convinced all the younglings that he ran into the ghost of an old Twi’lek Jedi on Ryloth, and it told him his future.”

Obi-Wan barked a laugh. “And what does the young one’s future hold?”

“Lots of battle glory and dashing escapes from death apparently.” The idea of Ghon being near death sent an unpleasant twist in my stomach, but Obi-Wan’s chuckles made me smile. “Thank you. For bringing him h–back.” My cheeks warmed. I’d almost said home. Jedi weren’t supposed to have homes. “Being back here has done him a world of good,” I blurted, hoping my slip wouldn’t be noticed.

“I would bet,” Obi-Wan said, his eyes not lifting from the small bite of cake on his fork, “that it’s being back with you that has done him all the good.”

“He would be alright without me,” I said automatically. Mechanically. Instinctually. Because that was how it was supposed to be with padawans and masters. We were all interchangeable. “Any master could train him.”

Obi-Wan studied my face with an inscrutable expression on his own, his light for once giving no hints as to what he was thinking. “I'm not Master Windu. Or Master Yoda.” He set his fork down. “It's me. You can say what you're really thinking.”

I gave an awkward laugh amidst the sudden heat in my cheeks. “Do I really have to say what I’m thinking when you can already tell?”

Obi-Wan pursed his lips, his brows lowering as he squinted at me. I expected him to push back; Obi-Wan was never one to let me change the subject when he was dead set on some answers. “Master Ima-Gun-Di scolded Ghon for being too dependent.”

Pain flared in my chest, the information wounding me deeply enough to make even cake lose its appeal. Ghon wasn’t dependent, he was greatly capable. His anxieties tripped him up, made him more sensitive than others, yes, but scolding him only added to those anxieties. Master Ima-Gun-Di wasn’t known for being sensitive, I should’ve suspected his treatment of Ghon. But who was I to directly criticize a master of the Jedi Order? “Well, I…I suppose we could all learn to be less dependent.” I glanced away from Obi-Wan, suddenly flushing and not wanting him to notice.

“He scolded Ghon four times in the hour I was on Ryloth.”

I frowned, then quickly made my face blank. It’s not my place to criticize. I set my fork down. It’s not my place.

It is your place. The words swirled in my mind with light, making pretty spirals in my mind.

I studied Obi-Wan. He didn’t seem surprised by our communication like he had earlier. Had he been thinking about it too? Had he also been incapable of sleep because of his questions? I wanted to ask about it, but something held me back. “Everyone thinks I coddle Ghon. I would not fault you for thinking the same.”

“It’s not my place to think anything, nor anyone else’s. He is your padawan.” Obi-Wan's eyes held such earnest feeling, I couldn't doubt that he truly wanted me to speak my thoughts.

“He’s more than a padawan. He’s just a boy.” I picked up my fork and resentfully stabbed the piece of cake. “He grew up in a situation that neither of us can fathom, he saw the worst of what this galaxy had to offer before he even gained his voice. He needs assurance, not…not chastising or shame!”

Kindness. Mercy. Humility. If I was to believe in this galaxy at all, I had to believe that strength didn’t only come from criticism and pain.

Funny.

“You’re laughing at me now?” I snapped. Despite my frustration, I only had to gaze at Obi-Wan for a moment before dispelling that worry. Not Obi-Wan. Not my old master. My friend.

“No. I’m saying it’s ironic because I said almost the exact same thing to Mace Windu about you.”

Master Windu? “What?”

“When he tried to convince me to give you up so you could be his padawan. He thought I was being too gentle with you.”

I stared at him, my tongue suddenly feeling too large for my mouth. Too…gentle?

“He watched me teach you about meditating that day after our mission on Neftali, do you remember?”

“I remember your teachings,” I said dumbly. “He watched us?”

Obi-Wan nodded, absentmindedly using his fork to cut his bite into smaller pieces, as if even a small bite was more than he was right to take. “He still had his suspicions about you, and I argued with him often. I told him that you needed kindness, not more fault-finding.” You deserved so much more than the galaxy gave you. A strange hunger was in his face now, a kind of hunger that wasn’t aimed towards the cake. You deserved more than the Order gave you.

But the Order gave me you, I replied, the mental communication feeling as natural as using my voice. And you crossed the galaxy to rescue me from Dooku.

Obi-Wan didn’t reply, either with his voice or his mind. But my last statement made me remember all the questions that had been plaguing me. I could avoid them no longer. “Skywalker,” I said, suddenly feeling quite timid, “said you felt me when I was in Dooku’s dungeon, that you saw visions and that’s why you came after me.”

Obi-Wan remained as silent and still as marble, but his gaze remained honed on my face, never straying so much as a millimeter. “He’s correct.”

I stood from my chair. It now felt wrong to have such an important conversation from different sides of a table. We were not enemies. Obi-Wan stood too, following me around the table towards the sofa. But like me, he didn’t sit. “How could you sense me from all the way on the other side of the galaxy?” I asked, my voice quieter. “I mean, it’s one thing to sense each other when we’re together or even on the same planet. But such a great distance away?”

Obi-Wan opened his mouth and closed it. Then he shrugged. “I have no idea.”

I should’ve expected he wouldn’t know; after all, I hadn’t heard anything about such abilities. But still, I hadn’t expected him to be anything other than my master, who'd once held all the answers to every question I could possibly come up with.

“It's clear that the Force connects us somehow,” Obi-Wan still held my gaze, “but it's different from anything I've experienced before.”

“Then…how did you know it wasn’t Dooku playing some trick?”

“I guess I didn’t.” Obi-Wan smiled, but it wasn’t his normal smile. It was calloused, almost mocking. “And…truthfully…I'm not sure I cared.”

I blinked at him. His answer confused me more than my desperation in the question. “What do you mean?”

It was remarkable how, even as he looked at me with frustration, no regret or shame lived in Obi-Wan’s face or his light. He did not regret coming to rescue me.

“Please, Obi-Wan, explain it to me,” I begged.

Obi-Wan’s throat bobbed. “I can’t.”

“You…can’t?”

“I mean, I-I do not have the words. To explain.” His light was shifting now, lightly glinting one minute and blinding the next as he sorted through his thoughts. “I…I had no other choice,” he repeated.

Choice?

“The council gave you an order, they didn’t give you a choice,” I said softly.

They didn’t give you one either.

I blinked. Why does it matter what they gave me?

“I…” Obi-Wan ran his hands through his hair as his light practically vibrated with power. “I am unsure how to…say it.” And we are not even allowed to speak it aloud.

He could not put it into words, and as I felt the waves of emotion emanating from his Force signature, I did not know what they meant either. I only knew that I didn’t need to be afraid, not when his light still felt warm and pure.

Do you feel like this just because I was your padawan?

Obi-Wan's eyebrows knitted together. “What do you mean?”

I struggled with the words, trying to understand the meaning myself so that I could properly relay it. “With Ghon…I want him to be safe, I feel…protective over him.” I blinked at Obi-Wan. Is that what you feel for me? Is that why you came to find me?

Obi-Wan blinked back, as if taken aback by my question. Was it inappropriate for me to ask?

“It is natural to feel that for a padawan.” he mused. He stared over at the table, where the unfinished cake still rested. He watched it with a deep intensity that the cake did not deserve. Then, holding the same intensity, his eyes slid to me. But it’s not just that.

He held out his hand again. Was he going to take me somewhere else? I put my hand in his, ready to go wherever he would take me.

But he didn’t move his body. Instead, I felt his mind beckoning. Curious, I reached out, similar to how I would to assess the state of a patient. And as I did, memories of the snowy planet of Neftali arose in my mind. Not memories of Obi-Wan’s face, but of my own face, wan and defiant in the middle of the snowstorm. My own face, snarling as I pulled his overtunic over his head. My own face, small and pained in the refresher.

Then, Master Windu’s deep disapproval as he and Obi-Wan watched me struggling to meditate. Master Yoda’s uncertainty as he and Obi-Wan watched me practice dueling with another padawan and lose. Even General Skywalker’s doubtful expression as I tried to use the Force to levitate my own lightsaber from its place on the floor.

The memories shifted slightly, picking up speed now. Me, listening intently to Captain Rex as he pointed at a map and explained the confusing layout of Kamino. Me, saving Obi-Wan’s life by leaping in front of him to deflect a blast with my lightsaber. Me, desperately combing my fingers through my hair as I tried to leave my padawan braid on my shoulder instead of up in my bun.

Images of my smiles, laughter, tears.

Then I felt Obi-Wan’s presence within his memories. The deep anxiety circling my dirt-stained face on Felucia, mouth open in shock in the Council meeting. The contentment accompanying the small grin on my face as I dug into a piece of chocolate cake. The bone-deep fear hurtling around my determined expression as I pressed against a wall, staring up at Dooku instead of the red lightsaber pointed directly at my neck.

I felt the sadness that lingered behind his congratulations when I passed my trials. I felt his amusement when hearing a rumor that Aurra Sing and I had exchanged blows over the unconscious body of her partner and his pride when he’d heard that I’d picked a padawan. But above all, I felt the loneliness that threatened to crush him every time he closed his eyes.

I barely had time to mourn the loneliness when it evaporated at the sight of me walking beside Obi-Wan in the gardens with a rueful smile as he recounted the rumors he’d heard. The joy of that memory shifted slightly to something hotter when I saw myself walk down the steps of the temple in the dress for my undercover mission.

Next I saw a street with all sorts milling about—a street two blocks down from the club. I felt the stress in Obi-Wan’s leg muscles as he ran as fast as he could, just as vividly as I felt absolute despair upon seeing the smoke rising from the nightclub. The smoke shifted to the walls of the Jedi Temple as Obi-Wan gripped his head against the sensations of my fear and pain. Then I was in a cockpit, gripping the controls tightly as if that would somehow make the ship go faster.

But the memory which wounded me most was that of my own unconscious face, surrounded by white snow. The blue tint of my skin, the purple of my lips, and the absolute stillness with which I lay…I felt my own mortality alongside the harsh bite of Obi-Wan’s harrowing fear.

Then, Obi-Wan’s whole-bodied relief as my body sucked in its first breath under the water of the refresher. He wiped away his tear that had fallen on the side of my face and tried to smile when my eyes fluttered open.

The residual anxiety as he held me close to warm me on the ship.

The stares from every Jedi we passed as he half-led, half-carried me to Vokara Che.

The helplessness after seeing my reaction after learning how the council had punished him, which is what sent him to Ryloth, to do something.

All of it whizzed past, seemingly never ending. Despite their speed, I could feel how each memory was cradled, treasured, carefully wrapped as if a prize in their own right. Distantly, I heard a gasp fall from my own lips, then suddenly the barrage was over, and I was left blinking at Obi-Wan.

He remembered so much, and he remembered me so differently than I remembered myself. Resilient. Capable. Determined. I hadn’t realized…I had no clue how important I had been to him for so long. I couldn’t have known that he was so fond of the memories that were the most foundational of my own life.

The look on his face was one I had never seen on him or any other Jedi. “I do want you to be safe and happy,” he murmured. His other hand came up, brushing my hair even though it hadn’t fallen in my face. “But…I want to be near you, near your safety and…your happiness. I want to see you after every battle to make sure that you are well. I want to see it when Ghon makes you smile. I want to say the things that I know will make you laugh.”

“There are more smiles and laughs when I’m around you,” I said, barely even thinking about it.

Obi-Wan’s mouth moved noiselessly for a few moments. Speechless. Had I done that? The thought made me feel somewhat proud. Obi-Wan had mastered stillness a long time ago, being completely composed even when in life-threatening situations. To know that I affected him, that I meant so much to him to disrupt the stillness felt…good.

The thought barely crossed my mind when it was submerged by a wave of panic. Jedi weren’t supposed to feel good, we weren’t supposed to feel this way about people! I would not be a self-serving Jedi like Krell. I had worked too hard to be anything like him.

I knew Obi-Wan had felt the change because he reached out, attempting to draw me close to him. Still captive to my panic, I shoved him away, hard enough that I lost my balance and had to sit down on the sofa.

“Y/N,” he said urgently, but the sensations that arose with him saying my name made my mind race faster as I struggled to breathe. Obi-Wan’s light was too close, too overwhelming. I wanted it to go away so I could think, but pulling away from it pulled me away from the Force.

I let my head fall into my hands, holding tight to relieve the ache. Not being able to see Obi-Wan, I felt a shift in the light surrounding me. “You feel exactly like you did in the bunker’s refresher back on Neftali. Closed off and terrified.” His voice came from a lower point than I’d expected. Was he down on his knees?

Again, the sensations in my chest rose, threatening to choke me, and I tried to push them away, reaching for a moment’s reprieve. “None of this makes sense,” I said, my words breathless enough that they sounded like gasps.

“Don’t.” Suddenly, Obi-Wan was right in front of me, pulling my hands away from my face. “Don’t push it down, don’t push it out.” I tried to protest, but Obi-Wan shushed me gently. “Let it all in.”

“But Jedi don’t do this,” I wrenched my face from him. “They don’t feel this way.”

“Yes, they do.” Obi-Wan smoothed my hair back, his fingers brushing comfortingly against my temples. “They do. I do.”

“I’m a better Jedi when I don’t feel things.” I barely felt the responding flare of Obi-Wan’s light, like it was somehow miles away.

“No, you’re not.” Obi-Wan’s fingers dug into my knees, dragging me back to the present. “Y/N, you have to feel things. Pulling away from them only does you a disservice.”

“I’m scared,” I whispered. Not of Dooku anymore, but of the dark side. Of doing the wrong thing, of getting kicked out of the Order, of so many things.

Obi-Wan’s urgent blue eyes were so near that I couldn’t see anything else and so captivating that I couldn’t look away. “Allow it in, Y/N. All of it.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and allowed the walls I had so desperately built to fall. Everything swarmed, making me dizzy and my chest ache.

Dooku.

Being thirsty and starving.

Darkness coupled with pain everywhere in my body.

I felt Obi-Wan's great sorrow over the memories of what Dooku had done to me.

All of it was too much, I couldn’t bear it, I didn’t want to bear it. Why couldn’t the past stay in the past and have no impact on my heart or my mind? Obi-Wan’s hands pressed harder against my knees, acting as my anchor as my frenzied thoughts continued.

Obi-Wan bringing me back here to the temple.

Obi-Wan getting kicked off the council.

Obi-Wan disappearing.

“Feel it all.” Obi-Wan’s whisper brushed my ear, and my thoughts took a new turn.

Obi-Wan returning, with my padawan. His smile as he saw me hugging Ghon.

Obi-Wan bringing me cake. Sharing it with me like we had on our last mission as master and padawan.

Obi-Wan holding me the way he was now. Holding me when he caught me after slicing through the chains in Dooku’s dungeon. Holding me on the ship in the refresher as he desperately rewarmed my inanimate body. Holding me in the temple infirmary to calm me down. Holding me as I reeled with the council’s decision to strip him of his position.

I wanted to recoil from it, it was too much. Attached. Wrong. Dependent.

Like Ghon.

For a moment, everything in my mind froze, the frantic thoughts all hovering as I remembered my padawan: viewed by all as being too reliant. In rebuking myself, I was also rebuking him.

That yanked me from my spiraling.

The Jedi Order warned us against attachment because it could cloud our thinking, make the difficult choices even harder. Attachment made us selfish. Possessive. Fearful. But Ghon was the most generous boy I’d ever met. Could it be possible that reliance also made him…better?

Could reliance make me better?

I opened my eyes and saw Obi-Wan kneeling before me. His hands flexed against my knees, as if he was struggling to keep them where they were. Could I believe that Obi-Wan’s feelings were making him more selfish in this moment? Could I truly believe Obi-Wan to be selfish at all?

Sitting in front of him, the air glowing with anticipation—his or mine, I didn’t know—I finally understood what he meant. I didn’t have the words for the stirrings inside me. But they were present. And maybe they weren’t evil.

Obi-Wan’s eyes searched my face, looking greatly worried. “Are you alright? What are you thinking? Don’t–” He rushed an inhaled breath. “Don’t get stuck in the fear, don’t pull away from me.”

No, I did not have words.

But that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try.

“When…in that dungeon, when Dooku pushed into my mind, he discovered Ghon, a-and I nearly put my shields up to protect him.” I looked down at Obi-Wan’s face and my hair fell forward, semi-blocking my view of his expression. I quickly tucked it behind my ear, not wanting to miss a single moment of Obi-Wan’s intent expression, which bordered on captivation, willing me to finish. “I didn’t raise them, though. Dooku’s threats, the pain, the hunger, none of it could make me do what he wanted. But you?” I shook my head. “I can’t say no to you, Obi-Wan. All you had to do was ask. All you ever have to do is ask.”

My raging heartbeat was the only interruption of the silence that quickly grew unbearable. Words could not carry weight, not like muscle or metal, and yet the air felt heavier after I’d spoken. Obi-Wan’s face hadn’t moved, as if he hadn’t heard me, but I knew he had. Why did he seem frozen? Had I just made a horrible mistake?

Then a flicker of light lit up the dark.

Obi-Wan’s body seemed to collapse in on itself with the release of a long breath, as if the scaffolding of his body had melted away, leaving him to remain upright on half his own strength. His eyes—his beautiful blue eyes—were wide. “Truly?” he whispered, reaching forward to cup my elbows again with the distinctively gentle touch of his hands. “Do you truly mean that?”

“I…I-I don’t have words for this either.” I bit my lip. “But I feel it.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes searched my face like it was impossible for them to focus on just one thing about it.

This was different. Us. We were different, yet I couldn’t figure out what exactly had changed. In a way…hadn’t nothing changed? Or…had everything changed so the changing was less noticeable by comparison?

I didn’t know.

All I knew is we’d stepped from Before into After. What we had just done was as irreversible as life itself.

“So what do we do?” I asked, my heart thudding in my chest with what felt like fear, but a foreign fear. Completely different to how I would feel while staring down a droid whose blaster was aimed at me…but similar in intensity.

“I don’t know.” Obi-Wan’s light flickered in a way that told me he felt the same. “I haven’t done…anything…like this.”

“Neither have I.”

Our normal dynamic of teacher and learner didn’t apply here. Here, we were both novices. And while I’d derived much comfort from his leadership in the past, it lifted my spirits now to know that he felt as I did. We stood together on new ground, unsure of its sturdiness and worried that one wrong move would send us crumbling. But despite the uncertainty, I was completely certain it was worth it.

He was worth it.

“Will you forgive me?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Whatever for?” I managed to ask without sounding too bewildered.

“For disobeying the council.”

“Why…why me? Th-the council, they’re the ones you should be apologizing to. I mean, I’m not even a master.”

“I’m not worried about them,” Obi-Wan’s firm words didn’t match with the wonder in his face. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m the one who should be asking for forgiveness,” I told him. “After the meeting with the council, I was…harsh.”

“You were scared. I scared you.” Obi-Wan’s hand paused right on the edge of the wrap on my wrist, his hold a bit firmer than his earlier light touches. “Am I scaring you now?”

Obi-Wan, scary? “No.”

“Your heart is beating inhumanly fast.”

Oh. He had been feeling my pulse.

“Not from fear,” I muttered. I lifted my hand, moving slowly enough to give him time to pull away or warn me that we couldn’t go that far. But he stayed still as I rested my hand on his cheek. “Your beard is softer than I thought,” I whispered, running my skin against the funny sensation.

Obi-Wan’s hand wrapped around my wrapped wrist faster than I could blink, and for a split second, I thought he was going to pull it away. Instead, he closed his eyes and leaned into my touch, his face contorting as though he were in pain.

But it wasn’t pain I felt through the Force.

It was a release.

Thrumming collected in the space between us, the Force seemingly energized by the intense relief stemming from both of us. The light of Obi-Wan’s signature was pure white now. It had a pull to me, like my body was one magnet and his the other. In expressing our most human thoughts, I now felt like we were objects. Somehow, that was humorous to me.

“There,” Obi-Wan said, lightly bringing his thumb to the corner of my mouth. “There’s that smile. I’ve missed it.”

Aren’t you at all afraid that this is wrong? I asked.

Obi-Wan didn’t respond for a moment, thinking it over. “We weren’t pushing for more power,” he said finally. “This was a gift from the Force. And it wouldn’t give us this ability if it was wrong.”

I hummed thoughtfully, allowing my hands to continue exploring the contours of his face. Our eyes did not stray from each other. The few little nothings we shared from then on were said through the Force so as not to break the silence.

Eventually, Obi-Wan and I ended up laying down on his bedroll, each of us on our sides. The only parts of our bodies that touched were our joined hands laying between us, which could not compare to Obi-Wan’s gentle and wondrous eyes looking into mine.

We’d fallen asleep near each other before, on ships, on bunks in a Republic outpost, even on the ground of a forest beside a campfire. I was no stranger to the soft sound of Obi-Wan’s even breaths. But this was different. To be touching him and be touched by him. Not having to guard a single thought because I knew that he understood them all.

All too soon, my eyes grew heavy. I would close them, just for a moment. But each moment grew longer and longer until I slipped into sleep.

A jolt of panic ran through me, and my eyes shot open.

I blinked at the ceiling, feeling sweat on my brow. Turning my head, I saw Obi-Wan was still asleep, his hand limply against the bedroll between us. I must’ve shifted during my sleep, pulling my hand from his. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I tried to focus, to reorient myself to reality.

I reached out with the Force to feel our surroundings, confused as to why I'd woken. I could feel the other Masters and Knights on the floor, none of them any cause for alarm. Was it a dream that had woken me so abruptly?

While I puzzled, I felt a slight shudder of the floor. I sat up, pressing my hand to the floor, waiting for it to shift again.

It didn’t.

Was it a tiny earthquake? Coruscant wasn’t immune to natural disasters, as much as its inhabitants would like to believe.

Then, I felt the warning, like the harsh squeal of an explosive hurtling through the air.

And not a moment after, the whole room shuddered.

Obi-Wan's eyes opened as I shot to my feet. “What is it?” he asked, a bit blearily. He must’ve been sound asleep.

“Something’s wrong,” was all I said as I stumbled for the door. Only as the door was opening did I realize how it might look for me to be seen exiting Obi-Wan’s room at whatever time it was. But no one was out in the hallway, not until Obi-Wan had joined me, scanning the hallway with a general’s piercing eye.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “What did you feel?”

“I don’t know,” I murmured, walking forward with my hand against the wall for extra support. Once we were back in one of the main corridors, I let my eyes fall shut. I probed with the Force to find the external threat, but it was hard to concentrate with the sheer gravitas of Obi-Wan’s white light.

I was just about to ask Obi-Wan if he felt anything when the ear-splitting whine of an inbound bomb filled the air. I assumed it was another warning through the Force when a deafening explosion sounded, shaking the floor beneath my feet so violently, I lost my balance and would’ve crashed to the ground if Obi-Wan hadn’t caught me.

“What–” I started to say, but then stopped when I saw the smoke billowing down the hallway. Had someone…fired on the temple? But who would dare attack a holy place?

Obi-Wan didn’t seem to stop long enough to ask such questions. “Stay here!” He broke into a run and was quickly out of sight.

“No,” I said, even though he wasn’t there to hear it. I couldn’t run due to the state of my lungs, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t move. I’d never before walked to an emergency, but if my healing abilities were needed, I would've crawled.

Jedi streaked past me, most of them likely the masters and knights with private rooms near Obi-Wan’s. I didn’t have time to watch with envy at how easily they ran. We all had jobs to do.

Much later than I would have liked, I arrived at the Jedi Archives just in time to see a large portion of the outer wall collapse. Chunks of stone already lay on the cracking floor, dust flying everywhere as early morning light streamed in from where the wall used to be. Where rooms branching off of the main corridor had been, I could see the skyline of the undisturbed Senate district. It seemed the temple was the only place currently damaged.

A Jedi Knight lay nearby, eyes clenched in pain as he grasped his shoulder. I staggered over to him. “What happened?” I asked.

“Stone fell,” he managed to get out. “Hit me.”

I pressed my hands on the outsides of the energy, dipping into the Force to sense it. “I know you’re in a lot of pain, but the bones feel alright. Just sit tight.” Leaving him, I moved slowly to the next injured Jedi. And the next.

Someone grabbed my shoulder, and for a moment, I wildly thought it was Obi-Wan.

“I’m here,” Vokara Che said, her eyes traveling over the scene. I gave her the report on the three Jedi I’d attended to, and she was off, filling in where she was needed.

I stayed where I was, trying to catch my breath. Another section of wall crumbled, the heavy sounds of impact on the main stairs of the temple making my teeth rattle.

Then I caught a glimpse of the back of a head I recognized, bounding towards the unsteady floor.

“Ghon!” I screamed, hurtling forward.

The head that turned towards me was not that of my padawan’s. “Get back to safety!” Obi-Wan shouted at me from where he stood, cutting through a rock that had pinned someone down. I ignored him, trying to dodge a falling stone and nearly getting crushed underneath its weight when I didn’t move fast enough.

Suddenly, something bowled into me, but from the side, not from above. Then I was spinning. Then my back hit a wall.

Obi-Wan cupped my shoulders where he’d cushioned them from the hard bite from the stone wall. “What are you doing?!” he demanded angrily.

I thrashed against his grip. Let me go! I have to get to him!

“Stop it!” Obi-Wan’s grip tightened. “Stop struggling!”

Another section of the ceiling fell, hitting the floor with a deafening crash. “Ghon!” I yelled.

Obi-Wan gripped my chin, his wild eyes almost as paralyzing as the words that next entered my mind. You can’t help him right now!

I balked at the truth.

But as I stopped struggling, Obi-Wan charged into the dusty air, disappearing behind the stones.

“Obi-Wan!” I frantically searched the slowly rupturing Jedi Archives. The only reply was the crashing of another unseen portion of the ceiling, making the floor shift and nearly causing me to lose my balance. “Ghon!”

Realizing that my eyes were no good, I reached out through the Force and found the light immediately. The light shifted from side to side as Obi-Wan completed maneuvers I couldn’t see through all the dust and smoke.

Waiting was agony.

“Master!”

All the air in my lungs left in a relieved whoosh as Ghon came running out of the haze. “Are you okay?!” Using the Force, I searched his body for any pain or dysfunction and breathed a sigh of relief when I felt neither. Keeping my hand on his shoulder, I stared behind him. “Where’s Obi-Wan?”

Ghon’s eyes went wide as he glanced behind him. “I don’t know!”

I looked up, searching desperately with my eyes, but it was no use. There was too much debris in the air, particles obscuring everything from view.

But the light still shone.

The dust obscured everything, rendering my eyes useless. I closed them, reaching towards our connection, urgently searching for Obi-Wan. But the image in my head that came up was the image I’d seen in the marble gardens: Obi-Wan, glancing up at a large piece of stone just as it loosened and fell directly towards him.

And I felt with certainty, if I didn’t do anything, Obi-Wan was going to die.

“Ghon, stay here!” Without waiting for him to reply, I ran out from our cover. Where are you?!

There was no answer, so I ran blindly towards the light.

Picking my way around the rubble, I drew near enough to see Obi-Wan, struggling to drag a Jedi to safety. The Jedi’s legs were limp, and he could do little to help Obi-Wan’s progress. I didn’t need the Force to know that both of the Jedi’s legs were broken.

But above us, the ceiling was starting to come apart. As I watched, large cracks made their way through the stone.

And then a large portion the size of a Starfighter started to fall.

I threw my hands out, allowing the Force to extend with one singular thought.

Protect Obi-Wan.

Time slowed down, and I could almost see the Force coating the stone. The strain circled my upraised, weak arms like a fiery snake, but the rock barely slowed. “No!” I yelled, the word feeling delayed to my own ears. The strain grew, rippling down to my shoulders.

The stone decelerated, but then more chunks started to fall.

Gritting my teeth, I stretched the Force along the ceiling. I couldn’t allow even one piece to fall, not when there were still so many Jedi beneath.

Not when Obi-Wan could get crushed.

The chunks of stone stopped falling, but the strain tore across my back and down into my legs. My body shook with effort.

“Keep holding it!” someone screamed from behind me.

The strain turned to red-hot flames stinging at my weak frame. My lungs stung. Hurry! I urged Obi-Wan. Three Jedi stumbled out of the dusty air and towards safety, but Obi-Wan was still in harm’s way.

“Eragh!” I grunted, glaring at the ceiling. I…can’t…hold…it…much…longer!

Finally, I felt the light move. It brushed past me and then was at my back. Everyone was safe.

I let go. The chunks crumbled to the floor…and so did I.

Hands came from nowhere, yanking me out of the way of the falling stone. Do you have a death wish?! hissed Obi-Wan’s voice in my mind as he pulled me upright and along.

I couldn’t leave you behind. I’d meant to shout it at him, but my words sounded exhausted.

He forced my head down as we ducked underneath a curved piece of stone, like an arch. Reaching out for the stone, I held myself up as my legs started to shake.

No time! Obi-Wan barked. Before I had time to move, he scooped me up in a now-familiar grip, ducking and weaving. It took so much effort to keep my eyes open, but I did. I didn’t want to pass out on Obi-Wan again.

The air cleared slightly, though my labored breathing didn’t ease. Our surroundings seemed to swim and disappear, in turn. I blinked, realizing I had been propped up against something and that both Vokara Che and Obi-Wan were kneeling beside me.

“Don’t speak,” Vokara Che said harshly, pressing a breath mask over my mouth and nose. “Your lungs were already struggling, and now you’ve inhaled enough dust to kill a Rancor.”

I didn’t even try to make a single noise, my eyes meeting Obi-Wan’s. What did you think you were doing?! he snapped at me, fear written all over his expression.

“You just had to be a hero,” Vokara Che grumbled, and I struggled to focus on her. Though her face was still unhappy, she patted my shoulder. “Good job.” She handed a hydration bottle to Obi-Wan. “Stay here with her.” Then she left my field of vision, probably to go check on everyone else. If I were capable of moving, I would’ve been doing the same thing.

“That was wild!” said a wide-eyed Ghon, coming up to kneel on my other side. “You actually held up the ceiling!” I weakly patted Ghon’s arm, and he grinned back at me.

Obi-Wan was not smiling. You are still healing, you shouldn’t have done that! We would’ve been fine, but now you might not be!

It was good I had a way to speak that wasn’t dependent on my lungs. I couldn’t just sit around while you and Ghon were in danger! I panted, anger exacerbating my exertion. I had no choice!

The only sounds I heard then were the shouts of the other Jedi around us. It wasn’t until I saw Obi-Wan’s mouth fall slack that I thought through the words I’d effectively screamed at him.

They were the same words he’d said about coming to rescue me from Dooku.

If you had any doubt that I feel the same, I said quieter, it can die now.

“Kenobi!” someone shouted from behind him, alarm coloring their voice. Obi-Wan glanced in the direction of the voice and then back down at me, clearly torn.

Go, I told him. I’ll be right here when you’re done. After hesitating a moment longer, he squeezed my hand.

“Watch her,” he said to Ghon, handing Ghon the hydration bottle.

“Yes, sir,” Ghon replied as Obi-Wan disappeared from my view. “Wow,” my padawan said, refocusing on me. “Maybe someday I’ll be able to hold things up with the Force like that!” Excited, he continued chattering.

I was too tired to keep up with it. My eyes were so heavy. There was no energy left to fight to keep them open.

The next day, the Jedi met in the main hall. I leaned up against one of the columns with Ghon beside me. I was just barely strong enough to stand on my own, but I’d found that appearing more fragile warded off some conversations about my ‘heroics’ the day before. Vokara Che was worried enough that she insisted I spend the night in the temple infirmary with no visitors. Ghon was ecstatic enough that he didn’t seem capable of thinking of anything other than how he, too, could grow powerful enough to hold up a ceiling. Obi-Wan oscillated between pride and disapproval. Between my passing out and his getting pulled into a council meeting, we hadn’t been free to do much communicating, even just with our minds.

At the front of the crowd, he stood with the council facing the rest of us while the council took time to inform the Jedi.

“The damage, though substantial, is limited to one wing of the temple,” Master Windu was saying. “We believe the attack was a warning, carried out by a bounty hunter of the name of Embo.” He continued, outlining the parts of the temple that were too unstable for people to occupy.

Taking great care not to look at Obi-Wan, I reached out. Was the bounty hunter hired by Dooku?

There’s no way to know. I could feel Obi-Wan’s frustration with the limitation, a frustration mirrored by many Jedi in the room. Jedi did not seek revenge, but we were protectors, and our home had been attacked.

I don’t know if the Archives could take another hit. Hopefully it’s a one-time warning.

Agreed, if only so you don’t go throwing yourself in the way of danger again.

I rolled my eyes, unable to help myself. That’s a little dramatic, especially when you consider what Jedi do.

Obi-Wan didn’t answer. Strange for him to cherish our calling for himself and disapprove of it for me.

“We do not have plans in place yet for rebuilding,” Master Windu was saying.

I’ve been reinstated as both a Master and a member of the council.

I had to glance at Obi-Wan then, to see him already looking at me. I cracked a smile that couldn’t possibly convey all my relief at this news before quickly looking back at Master Windu. I didn’t need to tell Obi-Wan how glad I was, not when he could feel it. They just needed to see you in action again to be reminded that they need you.

Obi-Wan laughed slightly, and though I was not close enough to hear it, I could feel his amusement. They do not need me.

I disagree. I think they’re helpless without you. And now you get to contribute more, have more say in this war.

Yes, Obi-Wan agreed. But I still cannot control…some things.

The weight of the words made me nervous. What things?

The council was…very impressed with your display last night. They’re not going to send you off-planet yet, not when Vokara Che still hasn’t cleared you, but you’re going to be sent to the Senate tomorrow. Senator Farr has requested that you head his Rodian security detail.

Oh. Hopefully it would be a straightforward security detail. If not, part of the protocol might require Senator Farr’s guards to hold me upright for my own patrols. Senator Farr and I have a good relationship.

Which is the only reason I didn’t fiercely object when the council discussed it.

Fiercely object? Really? I teased. You’ve only just gotten your seat back.

I could feel Obi-Wan’s desire to retort, just as I could feel the wrestling that prevented him from doing so. He wanted to say that he didn’t care about his seat on the council, not as much as he cared for me. But he couldn’t and was irritated with himself for not being able to say it. For not being able to have both the Jedi Order and myself as top priority.

I changed the subject. Will you be trying to track down Embo to learn who hired him to attack the temple?

Yes. He felt greatly displeased about this, the same way he felt whenever I accidentally raised my Force shields when I was his padawan. They think he fled to Jakku. My ship is to depart in a few minutes.

Careful as I was not to look at Obi-Wan, my gaze lowered to the floor. So…we don’t know when we’ll next see each other.

Obi-Wan’s light gave a little sputter that tugged painfully at my heart. Let’s hope for soon.

Hope.

Was that all we had in our lives? Was that the singular possession of a devout Jedi? As I surveyed the others in the main hall, poised and selfless, I wondered if we could even call ourselves devout Jedi any longer.

Obi-Wan’s light brushed against my mind, like his mind was brushing its hand against mine. It…pains me to go.

It pains me to stay. I knew he felt his pain at leaving was greater than mine at being left behind, but we would never be able to agree on that.

Promise me you won’t push yourself too hard too quickly. You’re still healing. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Obi-Wan adjust his cloak, as if it had snagged on something. I’m worried about you. As I have been since your trials when I couldn’t be the one protecting you anymore.

Was there any point in telling him that I had worried about him as well? As if I’d ever be able to protect Obi-Wan better than he protected himself. At least now we actually get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to say goodbye to you after completing my trials.

I hate goodbyes. I could hear the grumble in Obi-Wan’s words. And I hate saying goodbye to you most.

Another, stronger flutter came to life in my stomach. Then we’ll just have to enjoy our hellos as much as we hate our goodbyes. To balance it out.

Balance, Obi-Wan mused. Yes.

The chirp of a comm sounded in the room. A tiny sound that everyone ignored and that I myself would’ve dismissed, had Obi-Wan not been the one to lift his forearm. I stared hard at Master Windu, so hard that the master’s face almost blurred. In the corner of my eye, I could see Obi-Wan stand.

Too soon. It was too soon for goodbye. But it would always feel too soon to tell Obi-Wan goodbye. It always had. We’d never had enough time. Perhaps eternity wouldn’t even feel like enough time.

The galaxy needed him. I shouldn’t be so selfish as to make it harder for him to leave. May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan.

And may it keep you safe, Y/N.

And I didn’t allow myself to say anything more as I watched Obi-Wan head for the door without once looking back.

Tell me what your favorite part/line was in the comments! Nothing motivates me to write like people telling me what they enjoyed. (And sometimes I even get some ideas of what to add based on what people like *wink*)

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im-a-wonderling · 15 days ago