#and; seriously; here's to many more years. SO many more!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kiame-sama · 2 days

Text

Humans Are Extinct (Yandere!TWST x Fem!Reader) Monster AU pt 6

(Quickly running out of Monster men drawings to use as my chapter pictures. May be a hot minute until I get the next chapter out since my laptop can barely stay conscious long enough to draw another one and I want to only use the monster AU versions of the characters for this series.)

Warnings; multiple yanderes, platonic yanderes, romantic yanderes, monster AU, eating Humans mentioned, more AU history, Cater is not having a very Cay-Cay day, food is an excellent way to bring groups together, Fauns, Satyrs, Kelpies, Crow Fae, Unicorns, Water Nymphs, vampire bats, dragons, cervitaurs, Raiju, Mermen, Cecaelia, Gnolls,

~~~~~~~~

Lunch finally rolled around and you were surprised that Ace and Deuce had actually taken Trey's words seriously and accompanied you to classes. Ace had loudly complained about his volunteering for a little bit but once he saw how many students actually took an interest in you, he stopped complaining and started viewing the task as a kind of important role only he could do. Naturally, Deuce was far less irate about the situation though there were times he almost came across as a punk when it came to others trying to harass you. Both had adjusted well to being around you and come lunch Deuce was actually taking pride in explaining things to you.

"-and that's what makes Fauns different from Satyrs."

"So Fauns are the nicer version of Satyrs?"

"For the most part. Satyrs are known for being loud and always wanting to fight-"

Ace cut Deuce off, shoving an uncooked carrot into the Faun's mouth to silence him. You had seen the two interact and you got the distinct feeling that the Faun and Satyr had more of a brotherly relationship with one another. Where they both had different personalities, when they did agree on something it was practically a law to them.

It was fascinating to hear that these monster men had similar names to the mythical creatures from your world and you wondered why such an overlap existed. Maybe the Humans from your world did interact with this world in the past, or maybe it was just a coincidence. Still, it seemed almost too close to be mere coincidence.

"Anyway, now that Dunce here is done talking-"

"You know my name is Deuce-"

"Like I said, now that Dunce is done talking, I have questions for you, (Y/n)."

You almost laughed at the back and forth banter of the two Goats- Faun and Satyr respectively- as their voices fumbled over one another. Truth was, you had been expecting far more questions than the few they threw at you between classes, so now was as good a time as any to ask.

"Okay, what do you want to know?"

"So, you don't have magic? Like, at all?"

"No magic whatsoever. Where I came from, magic is a myth and no creatures have magic."

"Okay. But how do Humans survive? No horns, no claws, nothing to protect themselves from bigger creatures."

"We make weapons. I know you all have bows, arrows, and knives, we have the same. Guns too, but I haven't seen any guns used here."

"Wait, what is a gun?"

"Basically an automatic bow that fires little pieces of metal using explosive powder that needs a spark which launches the metal through their target."

Ace seemed almost excited by your vague explanation of a gun, opening his mouth to ask you another question. His voice died in his throat as his gaze locked onto something behind you, prompting you to turn around to look at whatever it was that had unsettled Ace.

Standing not too far from you was the large figure of the Horse-man Trey. Ace told you he was a Kelpie, but you just couldn't make that connection seeing as he looked like a big white horse and not a water kelp-horse like Kelpies were supposed to be. He was clearly making good on his threat to check in as he approached you with a patient smile on his face.

"Hello (Y/n), have Heartslabyul's first-years been adequate guides for you today?"

"Yes. Grim doesn't even have to try half as hard to keep me safe now and I haven't been late to any of my classes other than the first one."

Trey gave a genuine smile at this, nodding his head as he was pleased to know his choice had been a good one. Seeing the centaur made you wonder about Cater and what may have become of the air-head student. In some ways, you worried asking would have a negative effect, but you were so curious you couldn't help but inquire about him.

"So... What happened to Cater?"

"He is being dealt with by the Headmage. He's lucky he isn't going to get expelled for what he did, but once the Headmage is done with his punishment, he's going to be turned over to Riddle."

"Is Riddle mad about all of this?"

"Well... I actually haven't told Riddle yet. He has a short fuse and isn't going to take Cater's actions well, especially since he asked both Cater and I to protect you if we happened across you. Odds are Cater is going to be collared and kicked out of his room for the foreseeable future."

This made you frown in contemplation at the prospect of the Red-haired student being punished too harshly. Though you were upset Cater took photos of you without asking and likely set several poachers on your trail, you didn't want harm to come to him. Sure, he was stupid and made a stupid choice, but he shouldn't be hurt or kicked out of his home for it.

"... If he is kicked out of his room, is there anywhere else he can go?"

"No. Riddle is very strict about rule-breakers being banned from the dorms so long as they have one of his collars on, and most other dorms aren't keen to house a student that isn't theirs. He's probably going to be sleeping in the Heartslabyul lake if Riddle doesn't ban him from there too."

The morality of the issue weighed on you and made you worry about the ditzy redhead. Though you didn't really trust Cater or his clearly impaired decision making skills, you still felt like he deserved basic decency despite his actions. You knew firsthand how the creatures that lived around campus were genuinely terrifying and dangerous, so you didn't want him thrown to the metaphorical or actual wolves.

"Can... can Cater stay in my dorm?"

Your question earned you several dubious looks from the Goats and Trey as if you had grown another head or said something unhinged. Even Grim had to pause his hesitant raw veggie medley- the only thing the cafeteria served today- to stare at you in surprise.

"You- you want Cater in your dorm? Why?"

"Well, it wasn't like he knew what he was doing was bad, and I don't think he should be left outside for his poor choice."

"(Y/n), do you realize how vicious poachers are in Twisted Wonderland? You will be hunted every moment of every day because Cater couldn't keep himself from posting you to that stupid Magicam app he is obsessed with. The second you are unguarded you will be attacked. The Headmage is even considering assigning Sam and Vargas to your dorm just to make sure poachers can't get in, or even moving you to Diasomnia so Malleus can protect you. I don't think you understand just how seriously we need to take your safety."

"I'm just a Human though, I'm not a princess or someone important. Why all the fuss?"

Your comment made Trey let out a long and exasperated sigh, his gaze leaving your confused form as he tried to keep in mind just how new you were to their world. Humans were never just Humans in Twisted Wonderland, and them simply dying out has made a far felt ripple in the history of every known species. For so long, so many species had adored and tried to protect Humans, but even they couldn't save the fragile species from the hunger so many magic users had for their very flesh.

Most things in the technological realm and cooking realm- pastries and phones included- only existed because Humans led the way to them being invented. Even now, technology has been mostly stagnant for over a hundred years with only the Shrouds having any aptitude as far as advancements were concerned. Trey himself had Humanity to thank for his family's bakery and the many cuisines local to the Queendom of Roses.

"(Y/n), Humans have never been 'just Humans' to us. Maybe to Sunset Savana, but never to the Queendom of Roses. Even Briar Valley had laws in place to protect your kind from everyone else. I get you may not understand it, but compared to most other species, Humans were better than most in the emotional and critical thinking department. It was Humans creating new inventions, coming up with unique ideas, and above all else, peacekeeping between the various species and races to the point they were called Beast-Tamers. Most wouldn't even speak to their Fae counterparts until Humans got the two to interact amicably."

You were somewhat surprised to hear all of this, having been under the impression that Humans were mainly pets to the other species. It was interesting to hear what Humans were credited for and that despite all they did to help, they were still hunted as food until extinction. The few from Savanaclaw you interacted with had been both sides of the spectrum of threatening you or being peaceful to you and it made you wonder just what kind of species were still keen to get a taste of your forbidden flesh.

"Honestly," Trey continued, "I wouldn't be surprised if several Kingdoms and Queendoms sent ambassadors to take you away from Night Raven for your own safety. I just know the international law makers are going to have a field day the moment it becomes common knowledge that you're here."

It made sense that Trey was stressed about this, you knew from your own home how aggressively endangered and near-extinct species had to be protected, but you still felt Cater shouldn't carry all the blame. If it wasn't Cater, it would have been someone else. Just because he was the fool to do it first didn't mean that others wouldn't have tried or succeeded in the same endeavor.

"Still, if he gets kicked out of the dorms tonight, will you at least tell him I will let him stay with me?"

"If you really want me to," he sighed heavily, "I guess I can tell Cater about your offer. I won't tell Riddle though, knowing how that Unicorn is, he will actually harm Cater for even thinking about taking shelter with you after what he's done."

~•§•~

"HE DID WHAT?!"

Riddle was beside himself with rage and even stomped his hooves against the marble floors of the Headmage's office, almost cracking the stone with his rage. Cater was trying to sink into his chair and hide from the Sophomore Housewarden who was beyond the point of furious with the water Nymph. Not only did he get a dressing-down from the Headmage, but he was going to be thrown at the mercy of his own Housewarden who was known for being an absolute hard-ass on rule breakers.

"It wasn't like I was trying to target her! I just-"

"SILENCE! YOU WILL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO, CATER DIAMOND!"

The firm tone Riddle used made Cater shut his mouth and bow his head, trying to avoid upsetting the Unicorn further. There was no way he would be able to go back to his room at this rate and odds are he would be sleeping in the forest if Riddle had anything to say about it. Plus, he still had that essay to write for Trein that was due tomorrow.

"He apparently took a selfie with (Y/n) and posted it to Magicam with hashtags indicating she is Human. By the time I got him to delete the post, it had been downloaded several thousand times. Since then I have already received a call from the Royal Sword Academy Headmage to confirm a Human lives here now, and what we as the heads of our schools can do to protect her. No doubt representatives from Briar Valley and the Queendom of Roses have already been dispatched and will arrive on the island soon enough, not to mention how many poachers are likely on their way here as we speak."

Cater knew how upset Riddle was given the fact the Unicorn's horn was humming loudly with magic and the Unicorn himself was a bright red. Things really weren't coming up Cay-Cay today.

"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

~•§•~

You felt a bit more comfortable with the school as a whole by the time classes had finished for the day. Practical Magical Theory was an interesting class, even if you really didn't have the faintest idea what they were talking about. According to Ace, you were lucky you didn't have Flight Class because there was a high chance you wouldn't be able to participate in the class itself. Still, you were happy to have a moment to let things settle down for a bit.

Ace and Deuce walked you to your dorm, but had been called to Heartslabyul by a quick text from Trey, leaving you alone in the dorm with Grim. Despite the beginning of the day being an absolute wash, the rest of the day hadn't been too bad. It was around this time you decided you may as well start on making some dinner. You could hear Grim's stomach growling already as you both went to the kitchen.

"Are you gonna make something good like you did for breakfast?"

"I'm going to try to."

"What are you gonna make?"

"Well, I was thinking we have the stuff here for a really nice soup-"

You were promptly cut off by the Kitchen door swinging open with a loud bang. Clearly, you were going to have to tell the professors or even the Headmage Crow about securing that side door given how it had already been used twice by others seeking to get into your dorm. Luckily for you, those that walked through the door had at least two familiar faces in the group.

"Sorry for interrupting," Lilia called out, happily making his way over to you in an almost bouncy gait, much like a bird hopping around, "hope you don't mind I brought Malleus, Silver, and Sebek too. I heard one of the Heartslabyul students blew the whistle on you being here in NRC. Figured you could use a bit of extra protection in case any poachers try their luck. Besides, the nest here is just as big as Malleus' nest in Diasomnia."

It was then Malleus spoke, his voice a deep rumble in his chest as he looked over you.

"They will not lay a hand upon my hoard without paying with their lives for such a transgression."

It was clear the Dragon was not happy with the events that took place and he seemed to be quite content claiming you as one of his Hoard. When Lilia explained it to you last night, apparently the moment Malleus decided he was adding someone to his Hoard, he became extremely attached to that person and would even become violent in their defense. Given the way others talked about him, he must have been a genuinely frightening and powerful person to command such fear and respect.

"... So does that mean I'm making soup for all of you or..?"

"If you don't mind. I certainly want another bite of your cooking, (Y/n)!"

Lilia took his perch back on the counter and swung his feet, seeming rather impish and almost childish in his behavior. You just shrugged and nodded, gathering enough ingredients to feed the group several times over. Your hope was that there would be some left over for you to take during lunches. As nice as it was to have raw foods once in a while, you'd rather your meals be cooked.

Grim clearly only trusted Lilia and sat next to the Bat to watch you bustle around the kitchen. He even let out a soft purr when Lilia began to pet his forehead and ears. Where you would have scolded them for sitting on the counter, it wasn't like you didn't have enough counter space already. Starting the broth and preparation was rather simple for you and it was clear those standing around you were keen to watch you prepare the soup.

"(Y/n)," Grim meowed, "where did you learn to do all this fancy stuff?"

"Humans usually cook their food. So I just learned while growing up. Of course there are some things you can have without cooking, like a sandwich or a fruit salad, but most big meals are better cooked. Now, that doesn't mean every Human can cook well, but most are good enough at it."

"So does that mean I can have more of the food you cook?"

"Like a bigger portion? No. But you will always get to have some of whatever I make, okay?"

Grim purred loudly at this, his face lighting up with an excited smile. Clearly the little creature was pleased with your arrangement even if it meant he had to go to boring classes with you. The food was absolutely worth it and he got to sleep in a mountain of pillows and blankets after a long day. It was all way better than the hole in the ground he occupied when he wasn't actively running for his life before he met you.

Once you got most of the soup started, you knew it just needed to be covered and cooked, listening idly to Lilia talk with the others about the events of breakfast and the Gnoll that invited himself in. It was when you finally got this moment that you took a good look at the other two visitors who were either Silver or Sebek, seeing as Lilia didn't point out who was who.

Much to your surprise, one of them reminded you of the Kelpie and Unicorn you had met earlier but he had an obvious three point antler rack attached to his head. His lower half was that of a reindeer and was fairly fluffy compared to the short coats of the Kelpie and Unicorn. Part of you wanted to test if he was as soft as he looked, but you figured it would not be considered appropriate to pet him.

The second new face was an almost canine like man with pale green hair that was slicked back and spiked up at the ends. His eyes were intense as was the apparent scowl that held his features, two sharply pointed dog ears atop his head. Bright yellow-green eyes tracked your every move and regarded you with as much curiosity as you regarded him. The similar medium length tail fur swayed lazily as his tail slowly began to wag when you looked at him.

The soup was beginning to smell rather good and it was clear four of the five others in the kitchen were taking note as they occasionally sniffed the air. Lilia, Grim, Silver, and Sebek were clearly keenly interested in the scent but it was Malleus' behavior that caught your attention. Instead of sniffing or lifting his nose as the others did, his forked tongue slowly slid from between his lips like a snake as if he were tasting the air. You almost laughed at the oddly reptile behavior before his gaze suddenly snapped to the door of the kitchen.

Standing in the doorway was a curious looking man that seemed to have fins on the sides of his head. His almost scaled skin had a kind of faint green tint to it with intense blue undertones, his eyes being two different colors with the right one being a pale gray and the left one being a bright gold. Atop his head were tousled blue-green locks with a singular black stripe that crossed over his forehead above his left eye.

"Oya, it seems I'm not the only one with culinary interests. Apologies for intruding, but the lovely smell drew me in. Would you mind telling me what it is you're making?"

You were surprised to see the almost Fish-like man despite how polite he was being with you. Instead of hopping in to defend you, Lilia looked at you for what you wanted to do with this interloper. Malleus seemed rather keen to rid you of this newcomer's presence but you held up a hand to stop him from acting. Part of you worried this new visitor was dangerous, but because he was wearing a school uniform you figured he was just another student.

"Soup?"

"... May I ask what kind?"

"Only if you tell me your name first and what you were doing around my dorm."

"Ah, forgive me. It seems in my haste to get to the heart of the matter, I forgot my manners. My name is Jade Leach, I'm the Vice-Housewarden of Octavinelle. I'm going to assume from your appearance you are the highly talked-of Human now living on campus. Azul informed us that you would be remaining here for the time being. As for what I was doing, I am rather interested in the foods that grow wild above water, so I was out gathering some mushrooms to sample."

He lifted the foraging bag that hung over his shoulder, showing you the contents within. He was right in that he had gathered up a fair few number of mushrooms and there were several that you actually recognized. You were no master of mushrooms- of course- but you still recognized a few species that were safe for you to eat, seeing several button mushrooms among the many gathered.

Those would be great in the soup you were making, and it was early enough that you could add them right in and they would cook just fine.

"Okay, Jade. I believe you were at least out gathering mushrooms which is innocent enough. I'm actually curious if you wanted to trade for some of those button mushrooms you have, they'd go great in the soup I'm making. In return I'll tell you about it and you can have some to eat if you'd like."

Jade actually seemed to brighten up at this, his smile becoming less strained and his expression smoothing from the stressed way his brows had been pulled together. It was almost as if he had been wanting to ask for some soup but was far too polite to actually inquire. He nodded and set his bag on the counter, letting you pick out the little rounded white mushrooms from the selection he gathered.

"I'm quite partial to the cuisines the different kingdoms have to offer. Rare as it can be to find those who are masters of their craft, I would still like to sample the meals above the ocean waves. I would be grateful for whatever knowledge you can share with me. It isn't every day that someone adept at cooking graces this school."

"Hey," Grim interrupted loudly as you set to dicing the mushrooms, "that's my Hooman you're talking to! She only cooks for me, but I'm kind enough to share with all of you. Don't forget it, got it?"

Jade gave a rather patient simper to your primary companion, resting his right hand over his heart in an almost polite gesture.

"But of course. I'm simply interested in learning to make such meals for myself. I'm certain Azul and Floyd would be keen to taste such a wonderful smelling dish."

This seemed to satisfy your little companion as he nodded with a pleased smile, watching you add the mushrooms to the rather large pot you decided to make the soup in. Thankfully it was a cauldron type pot made for cooking soups over firepits. The fire so dutifully warming your meal crackled pleasantly even as you stirred the bubbling mixture.

"Do you want to ask them to come over, Jade? I made way too much. Honestly, everyone here could all have a bowl, a second bowl, and I would still have enough soup for the rest of the week. I think I went a little overboard in the food department. Should have probably started with a smaller pot, but we're already this far..."

Jade seemed surprised at this, but nodded respectfully and pulled out his phone. You were curious just what Jade was as you really hadn't seen many fish-men during your day, but you weren't going to ask him. If he wanted to tell you what he was, that was his business. Didn't make you any less curious though.

"If you're certain? I'm sure Floyd will be thrilled to have something new to try. He doesn't like some mushrooms, but I don't believe he has tried the ones you've selected, and he certainly hasn't tried cooked mushrooms yet. Azul may try to heckle you into a deal, however. He is always looking for new ways to improve the Monstro Lounge."

"Yeah, of course I'm certain. I offered, didn't I?"

He nodded and began tapping away at his phone, but Lilia seemed rather keen to speak up. The Bat had been listening keenly to the conversation and felt he needed to make himself clear to the notoriously crafty student.

"If Azul threatens (Y/n) or tries to force her into a deal, we will have more than a few problems, understood?"

"He is aware. Believe it or not, those of us from the Coral Sea are actually quite fond of the legacy of Humans. Even Floyd has been babbling excitedly about meeting (Y/n) here."

"That's right, Humans were popular among the various merfolk kingdoms. You all even have a famous story involving the mermaid princess falling for a Human and joining him on land."

"Yes. She struck a deal with The Sea Witch to gain legs she could use to dance for the Human man she fell in love with, too bad the deal didn't hide her gills or fins though. Still, the Human loved her."

You listened to the conversation as you stirred the soup, glad that all of the flavors seemed to be coming together rather well despite the large amount of food you found yourself making. Judging from the conversation Lilia and Jade happened to be having, Jade was a Merman of some kind and apparently Mermen were one of the 'safe species' for Humans to interact with. Though you knew not to judge an individual by the species, it did put you at ease to know he was one of the safer ones.

It was as you were taste testing the soup that the door to the kitchen once again flew open as another visitor invited themselves in. It was offical now, four times proved it was far too easy to get into your dorm through that door. Maybe Lilia would be able to fix it for you, or Malleus seeing as Lilia said it was the Dragon who had mostly fixed up your current abode.

"(Y/n), you're an absolute angel! I thought I was going to have to sleep in the woods once Riddle temporarily banned me from Heartslabuyl! He won't even let me sleep in the lake even though I'm a Lake Water Nymph because of what happened. You believe me when I say I didn't mean to put you in danger, right?"

Cater had thrown himself at your feet, holding onto your legs as if he were some abandoned pet seeking shelter from a blizzard. Around his neck was a thick metal collar that extended out to the sides in black and red colors, forming a heart-shape that locked in the front with a golden and black padlock. He was careful not to get in the fire that was dutifully cooking your soup even as he groveled at your feet.

"O-oi! What's the big idea with everyone coming in that door? It's dangerous to leave that thing unlocked."

"That's what I'm saying! So much for protected and safe with that thing in here."

You couldn't help but slightly grin at Grim as he voiced your own concerns out loud. Lilia simply regarded the door, snapping his fingers to close it as a large metal bolt affixed itself to the door before clicking into place.

"There. Now it can't be thrown open anymore. But why is Cater here? Cater, when did Riddle collar you and why?"

Cater seemed to realize there were others standing around you as he suddenly straightened up, clearing his throat and taking several steps back from you. He tried to play off the desperate display he had just shown and was failing miserably. Cater looked much worse for wear than you remembered him being and you genuinely began to hope the Unicorn hadn't actually harmed the ditzy redhead.

"Well... I may have 'accidentally' posted a picture that told everyone that (Y/n) was a Human and was on NRC grounds, but I totes didn't realize it would put her in danger! Honestly!"

Lilia's bemused smile almost instantly fell away into a glare as he regarded the man standing by your side. You added a bit of salt to the soup as you wated, watching the thick broth bubble and roil with vegtables and diced meat. There were a lot of things you could do in that moment, but something told you it was best to let Lilia handle this situation.

"And what did you think was going to happen, Cater?"

"Tbh, I thought that I would just get a follower count boost and everything would be fine. The Headmage and Riddle sure made it clear I was wrong for thinking that. Lessons learned!"

"It only cost us the safety of the last Human left in Twisted Wonderland."

"I said I was sorry!"

Everyone except Cater seemed to be exceptionally upset as they all glared at him, making him duck behind you as if you were the best shield from their rage. You just let the tall student try and fail to escape the ire of the others. For once, a polite knock came at the kitchen door, breaking off the aggressive staredown taking place.

"Hey, why are we here, Azul?"

An almost sing-song voice hummed from somewhere on the other side of the door, prompting Jade to walk over and open the door for who you assumed to be the two he was talking about. In strode a rather lovely looking man with snow-white hair and shining mauve blue eyes hidden behind thin framed glasses. Around his face were lovely and intricate black markings that reminded you quite a bit of the tentacles of an octopus. Behind him lumbered a rather tall man who almost looked identical to Jade if not for the swapped eye color and slight difference in height.

"We're here because Jade told me there is a profitable venture to be had and I am not going to miss out on this chance to make the Human's acquaintance, Floyd."

The shorter one hummed in a smooth voice and you almost giggled at the rather fact-of-the-matter tone that the white haired one spoke with. You felt it was safe to assume the rather lovely man was Azul and the near identical to Jade fish-man walking with him was Floyd.

Floyd almost made a show of sniffing the air, following his nose to where you stood in front of the pot of soup, watching him curiously. Once his gaze fell on you a wide grin overtook the slight frown he had been pouting with. You could see the way his eyes trailed over your figure due to the bright yellow of his right eye highlighting his pupil as it darted up and down.

"Ne ne, what is such a cute little Shrimpy doing this far above the water? You're so small I just want to squeeze ya."

He took a single step towards you and this seemed to be enough for the two- Silver and Sebek- to suddenly intercept him with swords drawn, creating an 'X' that blocked the tall Merman from approaching further. It was more than a little surprising to see weapons suddenly drawn, but maybe you shouldn't be all that surprised. Lilia did say he came over to guard you again and even brought the others for the same purpose.

"Hey, I'm not gonna hurt them, I just want a little feel on if Shrimpy is as soft as they look!"

"Floyd, that's enough. She was polite enough to allow me to invite you and Azul over and she is quite the rare specimen, you can't threaten her so casually and expect those guarding her to not be upset."

"I didn't threaten, I just said I wanted a big ol' squeeze."

"Same difference where you are concerned."

"Eh, you're so boring sometimes, Jade. Anyway, what is Shrimpy making over there? Smells good~!"

You were stunned at the almost aggressive behavior from Floyd given how calm and level headed Jade had been thus far. Maybe it was just a quirk of Floyd's to be a little more hands on than others. It honestly made you glad to know your self-appointed guards took their task seriously as they still refused to let the large Merman near you. Speaking of your guards, Floyd didn't seem put off by their aggression in the slightest and almost seemed amused by them as if it were all one big game.

Tension was thick in the air as the almost aloof Floyd smiled at you, watching you grab several bowls and begin ladling out ten total servings. You were not really all that surprised when there was still more soup to go even after you filled enough bowls for yourself and the ever increasing number of guests.

Maybe you were right to make so much after all. Hopefully your surprise guests had all shown-

"Why is the door locked? Hey, Human, I smell food in there! I already ate all the Dandelions from this morning! Can I have some of whatever you're making? Please? I'm starving out here."

Peaking through the windows to the kitchen was a familiar grizzled muzzle of the Gnoll you had met that morning. Ruggie was staring with those unsettling bright blue eyes and you were unsure if you wanted to laugh or scream. You scolded yourself in the back of your mind, remembering that animals would often return to places if they were given food prior and no doubt the Hyena man sought to do the same.

"Should I let him in, (Y/n)?"

Lilia asked, eyeing the lock on the door as Ruggie began to loudly whine and cackle for attention. You just sighed and nodded, knowing the Hyena wasn't going to leave now that he knew there was food ready and waiting just inside.

"May as well."

The Gnoll was quick to enter once the door opened and he happily grabbed one of the ten bowls, immediately scarfing down the soup without even glancing at the now large group of men standing in your kitchen. You didn't bother offering a spoon to Ruggie as it was clear he didn't need or want one. Despite the odd group that had gathered under your roof- technically it was the school's roof, but now wasn't the time for semantics- they all seemed keen to dig in when you passed out the bowls.

Getting yourself a bowl- seeing as Ruggie had taken one of the ten- you were able to finally take in the meal of your labors. It wasn't half bad and those button mushrooms added just the right earthy flavor that really brought the soup together. All of your visitors clearly liked the soup as well and Grim was the first to ask for seconds.

"Miss (Y/n)! This is a fantastic meal! I don't think I've had such flavors in anything I've eaten before! I would only think a meal from my liege could possibly taste better!"

"Sebek," the white haired one interrupted the shouting one, "you don't need to yell at her."

"I'm talking at an adequate volume, Silver. You dare say this meal isn't divine?"

"That's not what I said at all."

Lilia giggled as the two odd characters argued, hopping off the counter to serve himself another helping of the plentiful soup. Despite the absolute lack of respect for your personal space they all seemed to share, you couldn't help but smile as well. The many men you had met were odd and so unique in many ways but none of them actually seemed all that bad once they relaxed and got talking.

Maybe these monsters weren't as monstrous as you thought when you first met them. Hopefully their worries of poachers would just prove to be worries, but you knew you weren't truly safe yet and anyone could be a threat if they genuinely wanted to be. You just hoped there wasn't another shoe waiting to drop on your peaceful evening.

~•§•~

"Trey?"

"Yes, Riddle?"

"Invite (Y/n) to tomorrow's Unbirthday party. It has become rather clear to me that no one can look after her the way the Queen demands, so I will step up and take on that task."

"Riddle..."

"She will be safe with me, I will do whatever it takes to ensure it."

#kiame-sama #yandere #x reader #yandere x reader #reader insert #tw yandere #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #my monster au #twst monster au #Humans Are Extinct TWST AU

187 notes · View notes

alpaca-clouds · 2 days

Text

BG3 fans, we gotta talk CPTSD

Okay, I have spend about a week considering writing this blog, but I really gotta say, that it is something people really need to understand. See, I mostly see this issue with Astarion and his depiction in fandom. However, I would argue that it is a thing that affects literally all characters that play some sort of bigger in this entire game. Including many NPCs.

But let me start with Astarion. See, I wrote the blog two weeks ago about people being judgy on people, who do not want to have graveyard sex with him. Mostly people will argue how Astarion should be allowed to have his agency in that moment - while I argued that whoever the player is playing should have also agency in that scene. Including the agency to say "no" for whatever reason. I also included that my Tav absolutely denied Astarion, because he was not trusting that Astarion in the scene really was ready for it, for a variety of reasons. Which is very much a valid reason for someone not to want to sleep with someone else. (Literally every reason is a good reason for that, mind you.)

And obviously there came the comment, that went basically: "As someone who was raped I am very appalled by you saying that raped people cannot consent." Which is very much not what I said.

What I said was, that my Tav did not consent. Yes, he did not consent because he thought Astarion was not ready for it - but he is the one not consenting. It does not matter for this whether his assumption about Astarion is true or not. Tav does not feel comfortable in the scene, so Tav does not want sex right there.

However... If you consider the drow orgy scene, Tav is also very much right. If you do that scene after defeating Cazador, Astarion is enthusiastically consenting to that orgy, but he still ends up dissociating during the scene. (And in that scene, even if your character notices it, you cannot go "Stop!" Which I hate.)

Here is the thing. If you are in the BDSM scene, you might actually have encountered a scenario in real life where someone was enthusiastically consenting to something - only to them realize, that they were not into it at all. And people can withdraw their consent IRL at this point. Only that in this game, obviously you can't. So within the game choices I will just start out with "no" for this character.

Still, that is actually not what I mainly wanted to talk about. No.

What I wanted to talk about is the other thing. I absolutely know that for a variety of reasons a lot of SA survivors do identify with Astarion, and I do not want to take that from anyone. I think it is amazing that we got a character with whom we see this issue portrayed seriously. And let's face it. Especially in tumblr fandom circles, we will have a lot of SA survivors, because the userbase of this website is majority afab, and many are queer. And we know from statistics that queer afab people are even more likely than non-queer afab people to experience SA at some point in there life. So, yes, Astarion is going to be embraced by this community makes sense - even without his dashing looks.

But here we get to the actual meat of the issue: Astarion was not just raped. Astarion was abused in a variety of ways - some of them sexual - over the course of 200 years. He went not through a single traumatic event, but an ongoing trauma that, again, lasted for 200 years.

Or to put different: Astarion does not have PTSD. He has C-PTSD. Complex trauma. The kind of trauma that develops when the trauma lasts over a long, long time, without the survivor getting a chance to ever really properly ever relax. Something that was very true for Astarion's time under Cazador. He was under constant threat of rape, torture, and other forms of violence.

While CPTSD is a form of PTSD, it has some differing symptoms - and additional symptoms from plain old PTSD.

I found this graphic on this blog here, and found it fairly good in the depictions. (If you google CPTSD you will find several graphics like this.) It shows very well the additional symptoms, compared to normal trauma.

Generally speaking, CPTSD brings a lot stronger issues with self-worth, interpersonal problems, and emotional regulation. CPTSD folks are often prone to emotional outbursts (this graphic names anger, but technically it can be all other kinds of emotional outbursts - which is why at times CPTSD gets confused with BPD).

And Astarion is written like this. He shows very much all the symptoms of CPTSD. And let's be honest: That is an issue he will have to deal with for a long, long while.

But... As I said, the same is actually true for pretty much all the characters.

If you look at the companions, it is obvious.

Gale spent at least a year in constant fear of blowing up. While Mystra's abusiveness towards him within the relationship prior the orb is more fanon than canon (though the relationship was defnitely not an easy one), the "one year in constant fear of death" is very likely going to instill some form of CPTSD in him.

Karlach was a slave for 10 years, forced to fight in the hells. While she will also probably suffer from certain forms of PTSD more common in soldiers. Additionally I would argue that she also has some CPTSD from tiefling-racism. While she does not bring it up often... She does seem to have a thing there.

With Wyll it is a bit more complicated. Yes, for him I would see the kind of CPTSD I have - parental abuse related. Ulder was not openly abusive, but neither was my mother, and guess what fucked me most up in my childhood, despite experiencing some really bad violence elsewhere.

Shadowheart was abused by Viconia and midwashed and tortured and was forced to kill her fucking pet mouse. Bonus points that a lot of it happened during her childhood. She very much is gonna suffer the consequences.

Lae'zel... Do I really need to say something about her upbringing among the Gith?

Then we have Halsin. We know fairly little about his background, given that he is very coy in talking about it. But his "three years as a drow slave" definitely make it likely that he has developed some form of CPTSD.

And then we have Jaheira and Minsc. For whom just the... Well, look folks, the adventuring lifestyle would logically also leave you with CPTSD of some sort.

Even if you play a Tav who entered the game after having a very untraumatic life... They will spent what has to be at least two months with a tadpole in their head threatening to kill them - while half of Baldur's Gate is trying to do the same. They'll have PTSD after this at the very least, if not CPTSD. (Even though, let's face it, chances are we all gave our Tavs more than enough background trauma to go along with it, right?)

And same goes for so many other characters. The tiefling refugees. Our main villains (especially Gortash and Orin). Cazador. The other vampire spawn (duh). The list goes on.

So, what am I trying to say here?

Well, for once I just want to make sure folks understand that CPTSD is a thing that exists and while being similar to normal PTSD differs in some points. Including the fact that people with CPTSD have a high likelihood to make very rash decisions driven by instable emotional states, that might be harmful to them on the long run.

And mind you. In real life most people with CPTSD have it because either they were bullied for a long time, or were in an abusive relationship of some sort. (Abusive parents, abusive partners, abusive friends/roommates.) But even in those heightened scenarios the game represents for the most part - the issues are gonna be still mainly the same.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #cptsd #ptsd #cw ptsd #cw sa #cw mental health #astarion #wyll ravengard #karlach #shadowheart #gale dekarios #lae'zel #halsin #trauma recovery

141 notes · View notes

kckt88 · 3 days

Text

A Heartbeat Between Us Epilogue.

Summary:

Aemond and Y.N celebrate their wedding day.

Warning(s): Fluff, Allusion to Smut & Aegon being Aegon ;-)

AEMOND x Y.N

Word Count: 3750

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated, do not copy/post to other sights without my permission.

Tag List - @jasminecosmic99 @kaelatargaryen @yesterdayfeelings-blog @immyowndefender @0eessirk8 @killua2dot0 @msassenach @xcharlottemikaelsonx @moonnicole @toodlesxcuddles @mamawiggers1980 @minttea07 @nommingonfood

Two years had passed, and the day had finally arrived. Y.N stood in the sunroom of the manor, nervously fidgeting with her bouquet.

The soft scent of flowers filled the air, and sunlight streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow on her white dress.

Y.N glanced at her reflection in the mirror, smoothing down the fabric and taking a deep breath to steady her nerves.

Behind her, the sound of footsteps broke the quiet. "Beautiful," a voice said softly.

Y.N turned to see Aegon leaning casually against the door frame, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Aegon," she said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to walk you down the aisle," he replied, stepping closer. His usual mischievous demeanour was replaced by something softer, more sincere.

Y.N blinked, her eyes widening. "You'd do that?"

Aegon nodded, a rare moment of seriousness in his voice. "It would be my honour."

He held out his hand, and Y.N took it, her heart swelling with gratitude.

"Don't let me fall," she whispered, half-joking but still feeling a little shaky.

"Never," Aegon promised, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

As the doors to the sunroom opened, the soft sound of music drifted in, and Y.N took a deep breath.

The moment she had been both anticipating and dreading was here. Together, they walked slowly, side by side, to the beginning of the aisle.

The guests rose from their seats, turning to face her. Y.N’s heart fluttered as she saw so many familiar faces—friends, family—all here for this moment.

As she and Aegon moved forward, she caught sight of Jace sitting next to Rhaenyra and Daemon.

Jace gave her a smile and a nod of encouragement, which she returned.

They passed Alicent, who was seated near the front with Jack perched on her lap, his little face beaming with excitement. Y.N's heart melted at the sight of her son.

"I love you," she whispered as they passed.

"Love you, Mama," Jack replied in a sweet, clear voice, causing her to smile even wider.

As they neared the altar, Y.N’s eyes locked on Aemond. He stood tall, his hands clasped behind his back, his gaze never leaving her.

A slight smile curved his lips as she approached, and when she reached him, he turned fully to face her.

Aegon pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before placing her hand in Aemond's. "Take good care of her, brother," he said with a teasing smirk but an undertone of sincerity.

Aemond nodded, his gaze fixed solely on Y.N. "Always."

As they stood facing each other, Y.N couldn't help but notice the tear that slipped down Aemond’s cheek. He smiled through it, his eye brimming with emotion.

"You look so beautiful," he whispered, his voice thick with love.

Y.N gently reached up, wiping the tear from his cheek with her thumb. "So do you," she replied softly, her voice trembling with the weight of the moment.

Before they exchanged their vows, Aemond reached up and, in a symbolic gesture, removed his eyepatch.

The sapphire that replaced his lost eye gleamed in the sunlight, a mark of both his past and the man he had become.

The priest began the ceremony, guiding them through the traditional vows. Y.N and Aemond recited their promises to each other, their voices steady but filled with emotion.

They exchanged rings, the bands symbolizing their unbreakable bond.

Finally, the priest smiled warmly and declared, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. Aemond, you may kiss the bride."

Aemond didn’t hesitate. He cupped Y.N's face in his hands, his touch gentle yet possessive.

Their lips met in a kiss that was both tender and passionate, sealing their vows as the guests erupted into loud applause.

In that moment, nothing else mattered. They were married, bound together in love, with their family and friends cheering them on.

Aemond and Y.N stood there, lost in each other’s gaze, knowing that their future together had only just begun.

The reception was in full swing. The manor’s grand ballroom had been transformed into an elegant space filled with soft candlelight and flowers, and the guests were seated around beautifully adorned tables.

Laughter and chatter filled the air as the celebration continued. Aemond rose from his seat, glass in hand, tapping it lightly to catch everyone's attention.

As the room quieted, Aemond looked across the crowd, his gaze eventually landing on Y.N. His heart swelled as he spoke, his voice steady but full of emotion.

“I am blessed beyond words to have you as my wife,” he began, his eye never leaving hers. “After I lost my eye, I never believed I would find anyone who could love me, truly love me, for who I am. I had convinced myself that someone like you was beyond my reach. But then, I saw you. From the moment you took my hand, I dreamt of this day—the day I could call you mine, and the day you would become my wife.”

Y.N felt tears welling up, and she squeezed his hand tightly.

Aemond smiled, his voice thick with emotion as he addressed the guests. “To stand here today, in front of family and friends, and to proudly call you my wife-I can say with absolute certainty: never give up on your dreams, because I have living proof that they do come true.”

The room erupted into applause, glasses raised in celebration. Aemond sat down, and Y.N leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, her heart overflowing with love and pride.

After the applause died down, Y.N surprised everyone by standing up. “I know it’s not traditional for the bride to give a speech,” she began, smiling shyly, “but I just wanted to say something.”

She turned to Aemond, her eyes soft and filled with emotion. “Aemond, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was afraid at first, afraid that you were too good to be true. That maybe I didn’t deserve someone so pure, so beautiful, and so loving as you are.”

The guests listened intently as Y.N’s voice grew more confident, her love for Aemond shining through her words. “But here we are, surrounded by the people I love most, and I feel so proud—so blessed—to be your wife. Aemond, I was born to love you, and I always will.”

As she sat down, cheeks flushed from the heartfelt speech, Aemond cupped her face gently and kissed her, pulling her close.

The room was filled with warm smiles, and just as they broke apart, Aegon’s voice cut through the moment with a loud, teasing shout, “Get a room!”

The guests laughed, and Y.N giggled, leaning into Aemond as the love and joy of the day filled the room.

Soon, it was time to eat. The guests were served their wedding feast, a traditional three-course meal. For starters, there was a choice of soups—creamy tomato and basil or a hearty vegetable broth.

The main course was a beautifully prepared roast dinner, with a vegetarian and vegan option for those who preferred.

The tables buzzed with contentment as guests enjoyed their meals, and the dessert came in the form of a tempting selection of puddings—sticky toffee, chocolate mousse, and fruit tarts.

Y.N glanced around at the room, feeling utterly content. Everything was perfect, but more than the decorations or the food, it was the people around her, and most of all, the man sitting next to her, that made this day the happiest of her life.

Aemond reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as they shared a quiet, loving look amidst the celebration.

The reception had carried on into the evening, with music filling the manor and laughter spilling out from the dance floor. As the night wore on, the moment came for Aemond and Y.N to share their first dance as husband and wife.

The lights dimmed, and the guests gathered around the dance floor, excited murmurs in the air.

The soft opening notes of Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love” began to play, and Y.N felt a flutter of excitement in her chest as Aemond took her hand.

Together, they walked to the center of the dance floor, the crowd parting for them.

Aemond wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, while Y.N looped hers around his neck, their bodies swaying gently to the music.

His touch was tender, his forehead resting against hers as they moved in time with the song. The world around them seemed to blur, leaving just the two of them in their own perfect moment.

“I love you so much,” Aemond whispered softly, his voice filled with emotion as he gazed into her eyes, his thumb tracing small circles on her back.

Y.N smiled, her heart brimming with joy, and she leaned in to whisper in his ear, “I’m pregnant again.”

Aemond froze for a moment, pulling back slightly to look at her, his eye wide with surprise and a huge grin spreading across his face.

“Are you really?” he asked, his voice laced with disbelief and happiness.

“Yes,” Y.N nodded, her smile widening. “I did the test last night.”

Aemond let out a soft laugh, overwhelmed with emotion, and his hand instinctively moved to her stomach. “We’re having another baby,” he whispered, his voice filled with awe.

Just then, a small voice broke the moment. “Mama! Dada!” shouted Jack as he came toddling over to them with his arms outstretched.

Aemond bent down, picking up their son and holding him between them. “Come here” he said, smiling as Jack nestled into his chest.

The three of them swayed together in a perfect family embrace, still moving to the music.

“Mama so pretty,” Jack said, his little hand reaching out to touch Y.N’s face.

Aemond smiled at his son’s words and nodded. “I agree,” he said softly, “your mama is very pretty.”

Jack then reached up and gently stroked the scarred side of Aemond’s face. “Love you, Dada,” his innocent voice, his wide eyes filled with affection.

Aemond’s heart swelled, and he leaned into kiss Jack’s forehead. “I love you too, my dragon-”

The night was still in full swing as Aemond made his rounds on the dance floor, enjoying the company of his family.

After the emotional first dance with Y.N., he turned to his mother, Alicent. With a tender smile, Aemond offered her his hand.

"May I have this dance, Mother?" he asked.

Alicent beamed with pride, taking his hand as they began to sway to the soft music. “You’ve grown into such a fine man, Aemond. I’m so proud of you,” she whispered, her voice full of warmth.

Aemond gave her a small smile, the two sharing a quiet moment, lost in the rhythm of the music.

When the dance ended, Aemond kissed her hand and thanked her before turning to his sister, Helaena.

“Hellie, would you care to dance?” he asked.

Helaena giggled and accepted. The two of them spun gracefully around the dance floor,

Helaena’s light laughter floating through the air. "Your very happy” she noted, her observant eyes watching her brother.

“I am,” Aemond replied, glancing across the room at Y.N., who was dancing with Aegon.

After their dance, Aemond surprised everyone by extending his hand to Rhaenyra.

A few raised eyebrows greeted the gesture, except for Daemon as Aemond wasn’t sure he actually had eyebrows but Rhaenyra smiled softly and accepted.

“It’s nice to see you at peace little brother-” Rhaenyra said as they danced, the tension that had once been between them all but dissolved.

“Thank you for being here sister-” Aemond replied, surprising her with his sincerity.

The two shared a moment of mutual respect before parting ways as the song ended.

Meanwhile, Y.N. was sharing her own dances. Aegon had led her in a playful spin around the dance floor, followed by Daeron, who kept things more formal but couldn’t hide his joy for his brother.

Just as Y.N. was about to sit down, Jace appeared, offering her his hand.

“May I?” Jace asked with a charming smile.

Y.N. smiled back, accepting his hand. They moved together smoothly on the dance floor, and Jace took a moment to compliment her. “You look beautiful tonight,” he said sincerely.

“Thank you, Jacey,” Y.N. replied, feeling at ease with him.

As they continued to dance, Y.N. expressed her gratitude. “Thank you for coming, Jace. It really means a lot”

Jace gave her a warm smile. “It was nice to receive an invite, after everything.”

Y.N. nodded, understanding the weight of his words. “It’s a shame Luke couldn’t be here, but-for obvious reasons, it’s probably for the best.”

Jace chuckled. “Yeah, probably would’ve found him face-down in the buffet by now.”

Y.N. laughed, the sound light and genuine. “True.”

“I’m glad to see you’re happy,” Jace said softly, his gaze sincere.

“I am,” Y.N. confirmed, her voice steady and content.

Before Jace could say anything else, Aemond appeared, clearing his throat as he approached them.

Jace glanced at Aemond and smiled, leaning in to press a friendly kiss to Y.N.'s cheek. “Look after her,” he told Aemond.

“I will,” Aemond promised, his hand resting possessively on Y.N.'s waist.

After their dance ended, Y.N. excused herself, needing to sit down for a moment. She found a seat next to Aegon, who looked a bit sulky.

“What’s wrong?” Y.N. asked, noticing his pout.

Aegon groaned, “The nice waitress won’t give me a second look. I told her she was beautiful, and she got all huffy.”

Y.N. raised an eyebrow. “Okay-what exactly did you say?”

“I just said she was beautiful, and then she asked if that’s all that mattered to me. I said, what else is there-and she stormed off,” Aegon recounted, looking genuinely baffled.

Y.N. shook her head with a sigh. “Oh dear.”

“I know,” Aegon muttered.

“Have you ever thought of writing a book?” Y.N. asked.

Aegon looked at her, confused. “A book?”

“Yeah, you could call it How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less,” Y.N. teased.

Aegon groaned dramatically. “I haven’t been laid in weeks! I’m worried it’s going to drop off from lack of use-”

Y.N. smirked. “Poor you. Must be awful.”

“It is,” Aegon complained, sinking further into his chair.

Y.N. sighed, looking at him with pity. “Why don’t you go and apologize to the girl? Tell her that whilst you do find her beautiful, you’re also interested in getting to know her as a person. And while you’re at it, you can apologize for being a complete arse-.”

Aegon looked uncertain. “You think that’ll work?”

“You’ll never know unless you try. Now go on,” Y.N. urged him.

Aegon downed the rest of his drink, pressed a sloppy kiss to Y.N.'s cheek, and got up.

With renewed determination, he headed over to the waitress, leaving Y.N. shaking her head and chuckling as she watched him.

As the night began to wind down, Aemond and Y.N. made their way to Jack, who was sitting on Alicent's lap, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

It was getting late, and the little boy was clearly ready for bed. Aemond knelt down in front of him, gently brushing a strand of hair from Jack's forehead.

"Time for bed, little one," Aemond said softly.

Jack looked up at him with sleepy eyes, a small smile forming on his lips. "Love you, Dada," he murmured.

"I love you too, buddy," Aemond whispered, kissing him on the forehead. Y.N. leaned down next, pressing a gentle kiss to Jack's cheek.

"Goodnight, sweet boy. Mama loves you," she whispered.

Jack yawned again and mumbled, "Love you, Mama," before snuggling into Alicent’s arms.

Alicent smiled warmly at the pair. "I'll get him ready for bed and keep an eye on him tonight. You two go enjoy your evening."

"Thank you, Mother," Aemond said, standing and taking Y.N.'s hand as they both nodded gratefully at Alicent.

As they moved back to the main area, they were met by Rhaenyra, Daemon, and Jace, who were making their way over to say their goodbyes.

“Congratulations again,” Rhaenyra said, pulling Y.N. into a hug. “It was a beautiful ceremony.”

Daemon clapped Aemond on the shoulder, offering a rare, sincere smile. "You’ve done well. Best of luck to you both."

Jace offered his hand to Aemond, who accepted it with a firm shake, before turning to Y.N. and giving her a smile.

As they bid their farewells, the remaining guests trickled out one by one until only Aemond, Y.N., Helaena, and Daeron remained.

Daeron, who had been lounging comfortably in a chair, suddenly looked around and asked, "Where's Aegon?"

Y.N. laughed softly, leaning back against Aemond. "I think he might have gotten lucky with that waitress."

Right on cue, Aegon appeared in the doorway, looking a bit dishevelled, his shirt half-buttoned and his hair tousled.

He strolled into the room with a self-satisfied grin plastered on his face. "I sure did," he said, a little too proudly.

Aemond rolled his eye, motioning to Aegon’s mismatched buttons. "You haven’t even dressed yourself properly."

Aegon looked down at his shirt and giggled as he fumbled with the buttons, fixing them. "Oops."

Y.N. couldn't help but laugh. "So, how'd it go?" she asked, genuinely curious.

Aegon let out a contented sigh as he sat down. "Oh, it was fantastic."

Y.N. rolled her eyes. "No, not that. I meant, did you actually apologize for being an arse and tell her you wanted to get to know her?"

Aegon grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Well, I intended to say all that-but when I opened my mouth, I sort of promised her that if she gave me a chance, she wouldn’t be walking straight tomorrow."

Daeron gasped in disbelief. "And that worked?"

"Oh, yeah, it worked,” Aegon said with a smug smile. “I gave her a good going over. She’s currently asleep in the guest room."

Aemond groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You’ve left a stranger asleep in my house?"

Aegon shrugged. "She’s not a stranger—her name is-Laura? No, Lina! And I fully intend to go back there for another round in a bit. Gotta make good on my promise."

Y.N. laughed, shaking her head. "You're such a twat."

Aegon just grinned wider. "Yeah, I know."

Aemond stood up and offered Y.N. his hand, his voice gentle but firm. “It’s time we got going.”

Aegon glanced up at them, confused. "Where are you going?"

Before Aemond could answer, Helaena chimed in. “They’re going to a hotel for the night. Mother is staying here with Jack.”

Aegon’s eyes widened in realization. "Oh yeah—wait, Mother’s staying the night?" His expression quickly turned mischievous. "Best tell my girl to keep quiet, she’s a bit of a screamer."

Daeron groaned, his face contorting in horror. "Right, that’s it. I’m going to bed. I just pray that I remembered to pack earplugs."

As Daeron made a hasty exit, Aemond shook his head, pulling Y.N. closer.

He gave Aegon one last exasperated look before leading his bride toward the door, eager to finally have some time alone with her.

“Good luck with that, brother,” Aemond muttered under his breath, causing Y.N. to stifle a giggle as they headed out, leaving Aegon and his questionable decisions behind for the night.

The warm steam of the hot tub swirled gently into the night air as Aemond relaxed against the edge, his back resting between Y.N.'s legs as she dipped her feet into the bubbling water.

A soft sigh escaped him as her fingers worked into the muscles of his shoulders, easing away any lingering tension from the long and emotional day. He held a glass of champagne in one hand, lazily swirling the liquid.

"This feels awful," he muttered, taking a sip. "Drinking alcohol when you can't."

Y.N. chuckled softly from behind him, her fingers still kneading his shoulders. "It's our wedding night, Aemond. You deserve to get plastered."

He glanced up at her with a smile, appreciating her sense of humour as always. "Thank the gods this place includes breakfast," he mused, "because I’m going to need a bit of stodge to soak up all this drink."

Y.N. laughed, her soft voice carrying over the quiet of the night. The sound of water gently lapping against the sides of the tub mixed with their shared warmth and closeness, making the moment feel even more intimate.

Aemond closed his eye, leaning further into her touch as she continued her gentle massage.

"You’re not disappointed we didn’t go on a proper honeymoon, are you?" he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"Not at all," Y.N. replied, her hands moving up to his neck, her thumbs working gentle circles against his skin. "I actually prefer this. I’m not ready to leave Jack for more than a night yet."

Aemond gave a small hum of agreement. "Me either, to be honest," he admitted. He loved their son fiercely, and the thought of being far from him for an extended time didn’t sit well. "Maybe when the kids are older, we can get away properly."

"Yeah, maybe," she agreed softly, her fingers drifting up into his hair, combing through the damp strands with gentle strokes.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, simply enjoying each other’s presence and the serenity of the night.

Aemond groaned softly in pleasure as Y.N.'s fingers worked their magic. "I wish you were in here with me," he murmured, tipping his head back slightly to look up at her.

"So do I," Y.N. replied, smiling down at him. "But it’s not safe for the baby."

Her hands continued to stroke through his hair, the act more intimate than any words they could share at that moment.

"I love you so much," Aemond whispered, his voice filled with raw emotion.

Y.N. leaned down, her lips brushing his temple as she whispered back, "I love you too, Aemond. More than anything."

They stayed like that, wrapped in the warmth of the hot tub and the love they had built together, the night perfect in its simplicity.

It wasn’t the grand honeymoon that some would expect, but it was theirs—and that was all that mattered.

The End.

#house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #hotd aemond #aemond fanfiction #hotd fanfic #aemond fic #hotd fic #aemond one eye #aemond #aemond x reader #aemond smut

108 notes · View notes

writingquestionsanswered · 1 day

Note

How can I come up with good names for days and months in a fantasy setting? I know many people use gods, but there’s not enough gods for that to work here.

Non-God Options for Days of the Week in Fantasy

Celestial: (Sun's Day, Moon's Day) Star's Day, Aurora's Day, Comet's Day, Eclipse Day

Nature: River Day, Sea Day, Rock Day, Flower Day

Weather: Fog Day, Frost Day, Rain Day, Cloud Day

Gems & Metals: Gold Day, Silver Day, Ruby Day, Beryl Day

Elemental: Wind Day, Ember Day, Rain Day, Stone Day

Cultural: Prayer Day, Market Day, Feast Day, Artisan Day

Numeric or Sequential: First Day, Prime Day, Midweek, Last Day

Animals: Bear Day, Fox Day, Turtle Day, Bird Day

Think about the society at the center of your story. What things are important to them, or would have been important to the people coming up with these names? How might these words have changed over the ages? (For example, "Monday" comes from "Monandaeg" which is the Saxon word for "Moon's Day" after the Latin/Roman name for Monday, which was "dies Lunae" or "Luna's Day." And, of course, "Luna" was the Ancient Roman moon goddess.) You might choose a particular convention to go with instead of ending each one with "day." Like maybe they end in "a" or "en" or "al."

You can also use a mix of things... perhaps this culture begins its week with a day of prayer and relaxation, so that is Prayer Day (or Praya as it evolved...), then the next four days are dedicated to work, so each day is named after one of the culture's most important trades: Fishing Day (Fisha), Mining Day (Minda), Farming Day (Farma), and Artisan Day (Artisa). Then, the last two days are dedicated to celebration and rest... Festival Day (Festa) and Repose Day (Reposa).

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

#wqaadvice

70 notes · View notes

akookminsupporter · 3 days

Text

ARE YOU SURE?!: EIGHTH EPISODE

MY IMPRESSIONS

Preface: This is not an analysis post, and honestly, I don’t want to overanalyse their interactions or everything they said and did—many others are already doing that. My intention with this post is simply to share my thoughts on the episodes, my impressions, and perhaps my conclusions.

Oh man, I don’t want AYS to end. I can't believe it's already over. It’s not fair. I don’t think it is. We should protest.

Yes, this is my second time watching this episode. I’ve been super busy, so I couldn’t watch it again. I’ve survived by watching clips and gifs on Twitter.

Objectively speaking, Jimin and Jungkook are seriously handsome. Gorgeous. Cute. And they look especially adorable without makeup. They look so young too. Jimin looked amazing in that grey sweater.

I’m unsure if Jimin and Jungkook keep track of the charts and that sort of stuff. Based on things they've said in the past, it seems like they’re not too fussed about it, but it’s nice to know that, in one way or another, they do see the results of their work and the fans' support, even months—or in Jimin's case, more than a year—later. When they were in the US, Jungkook also mentioned something about listening to the music charts in Korea, didn’t he? He did the same thing here, and their songs are still on there. They’re really killing it with their solo careers. Jungkook wasn’t lying when he said his favourite part of SMFPT2 was the second half, where Jimin came out half-naked, just saying hahaha.

When they arrived at the restaurant where they’d eat, the video looked like it was shot by a paparazzi or something, hahaha. Jimin looked incredible in that video. I don't know how to explain it, but he looked… famous, hahaha.

One of the descriptions we read a lot when AYS was announced was that Jimin and Jungkook would immerse themselves in the local cuisine wherever they visited. That description couldn’t have been more accurate, hahaha. These guys really travelled just to eat, hahaha.

Every time Jimin said he didn’t look good, or that he’s not handsome, or that his face wasn’t right, I just wanted to jump through the screen and give him two slaps to snap him out of it.

That clip of them waving at the camera through the window is… Jimin looked stunning. His messy, blonde hair at that length was perfect.

The "boyfriend shot," okay. Jimin, I need you to answer a few questions to fully understand that part. I understand what you were trying to say, but why did you say that? I don’t know if it’s a thing in Korea, but when you Google "the boyfriend shot," nothing even remotely close to that photo comes up, so it's not a trend or anything like that. So, that was... interesting. Jungkook’s non-reaction and just commenting on the photo itself was... he wasn’t bothered at all.

I think Jungkook loves to eat. He loves food. I think. It’s not something I can confirm, because it’s not entirely clear. But I reckon he loves eating.

It’s so cute when they mimic the silly things the other one does. They’re just too adorable.

That quirky habit Jungkook has of showing off everything he's about to eat. And Jimin too.

I mean, Jungkook, why did you tell Jimin to take off his pants and underwear? That’s a bit much, don’t you think? Hahaha. Jimin’s response to Jungkook, saying, "loud, repetitive noises make Jimin nervous" is hilarious, and we know he’s said it twice when Jungkook was teasing him. But I wonder what context that phrase has for him. Seriously, I’d love to see a copy of his YouTube watch history and search history to know how they find these videos. It’s clear Jungkook knows the context, hahaha.

Someone on Twitter mentioned that Jimin and Jungkook swap roles in their dynamic or relationship. One day, one acts like the hyung and the other like the younger one, and vice versa. Another day, one is the annoying one that the other just smiles at, and vice versa. And another day, one is the silly, cute one, and the other pretends to put up with it grudgingly, but really, they love it. It’s super interesting, especially when you think about the age difference between them and what that means culturally.

Jungkook in the car watching—or better yet, waiting for—Jimin to notice he wasn’t behind him is just too cute. That happy little giggle when Jimin finally noticed and came to get him was adorable. Jimin pretending to be annoyed about it is funny because we all know that man never gets annoyed about anything Jungkook does or says.

Jungkook was right—Jimin really did love the gimbap option he bought, hahaha.

"Jimin is Jungkook's Jungkook." I saw this in a tweet a few days ago, and I remember making a post about it. Reading the comments, I see some of you gave it a slightly different interpretation to what the tweet explained, and what I realised when I read it. What we mean by that, in this context, is that Jimin does the same thing Jungkook does with the other members’ songs—singing them all the time in a funny, but slightly annoying way, hahaha. The members usually just laugh or ignore Jungkook because, well, he’s Jungkook, hahaha. Jimin does something similar, and Jungkook just laughs and looks at Jimin like he’s thinking, “Cute,” because, to Jungkook, everything Jimin does is cute.

The editors syncing the song with the parts Jimin was dancing—or trying to dance—is way too funny, hahaha. Jungkook grabbing more things while they were already paying is so... all of us, I’m sure, hahaha.

I know there are a few theories—let’s call them that—about which card Jimin and Jungkook used, particularly in Sapporo. But something I noticed is that they always made sure to get the receipt, and at least the times I caught it, it was always Jungkook who kept it.

Why did they laugh when the staff member said the jacuzzi in this last place was bigger than the cold tub from the day before? Not just the laugh, but the tone when Jungkook said, “Ahh, from yesterday”—I didn’t get that part. Why that reaction? Even the staff’s little chuckles were interesting. What did we miss?

I think Jimin likes "Standing Next to You." I don’t know, just a gut feeling, hahaha.

The accommodations where Jimin and Jungkook stayed throughout the show were amazing, but the ones in Sapporo were definitely the most beautiful and impressive. The clip of them entering the house without context would be so hard to explain, hahaha. Did they choose the places they stayed in? Or did the staff show them the options before they arrived? Them walking down the stairs backwards... they’re so alike, hahaha. Jungkook, the fact that you two have different ages didn’t matter at all—you’re practically the same person, hahaha.

Oh? The room they were in when Jungkook was unpacking all the snacks he’d bought is different from the one where they slept, so they left their bags in a different room.

Jimin looks stunning in that clip where he asks Jungkook if he was going to get in the jacuzzi, ahahaha. Jimin and Jungkook bickering over silly things is one of my favourite discoveries about their dynamic in the show, haha.

Didn’t Tae say that this second chapter wasn’t about seeing them naked or something like that? Could he explain to me why that’s exactly what this second chapter has been about so far? Not that I’m complaining, hahaha.

Them in the jacuzzi. Jimin and Jungkook have such enviable bodies. They’re slim but muscular, they barely have any fat on them, and they’re delicate yet masculine at the same time. It’s enviable. And I’m not a man. Seeing them in the jacuzzi also reminded me that they are, after all, men, and like most men on earth, they do stupid things for a good laugh.

The way Jungkook looked at Jimin when he picked up the snowball to take into the jacuzzi was so sweet and innocent, and the way Jimin interpreted it as Jungkook saying ‘Are you really gonna throw that at me?’ was hilarious. What’s even funnier is seeing other fans, especially non-Jikookers, using that clip to say, “This is how Jungkook would look at you if he were your boyfriend” or “This is how Jungkook looks at X member because they’re together.” Like, do they not realise that by saying this, they’re acknowledging that Jungkook doesn’t look at Jimin like he’s just a friend or how you’d look at a simple mate? This also applies when they use clips of Jimin looking at Jungkook. The way Jimin and Jungkook looked at each other in that moment is... yeah.

When Jungkook lost rock-paper-scissors to Jimin to see who had to lie in the snow – honestly, men – and took a little extra time warming up in the jacuzzi before facing his punishment, was funny haha, the way he looked at Jimin was like, “Are you really gonna make me do this?” But what’s funnier was how he looked at Jimin when he said, “Come on, baby,” ahahaha. Jungkook was like, “Don’t come at me with cute nicknames,” hahaha.

Have I ever mentioned that I love Jimin’s tattoos, especially the ones on his back? I don’t think I’ve brought that up before.

Seriously though, do they share social media accounts and watch the same videos, memes, etc.? Wasn’t that song Jimin was singing when he was lying on the stairs the same one Jungkook sang on the first day in Sapporo when he was picking which sunglasses to wear?

What Jimin said – that if we see his trip with Jungkook, we’d know what he’s like at home – it’s no surprise, but is he like this WITH Jungkook at home too?

Kookoo-ah. The different ways Jimin says Jungkook’s name is just too cute.

Oh, it looks like the whisky Jimin bought or brought to drink with Jungkook is the same one Jungkook took with him the second time he went on Yoongi’s show. So, either Jimin bought/brought/ordered it because he knew Jungkook liked it, or they’re even similar in their taste for alcohol.

So, when Jimin said “honey,” he wasn’t saying it to Jungkook, he was talking about the whisky, and I guess that’s why Jungkook responded that they looked alike. That said, I choose to believe he was calling Jungkook “honey,” haha. They’re such drama queens, hahaha. Jimin, are you really gonna leave us hanging for a whole year?

Is it just me, or when Jungkook asked Jimin if he’d had his physical exam for the military, did it not sound like a genuine question? Like, he already knew the answer? Does that make sense? Hahaha. The way Jimin responded was funny, and something I noticed is that when Jungkook brought up the military service, Jimin seemed to avoid the topic, which is understandable.

It was nice how they included the staff too. In a way, it was also one of the last times they’d be travelling/working with them for a while. The staff member who suggested they watch the first episode of the show deserves a bonus, hahaha.

Have you guys noticed that when Jimin and Jungkook are sitting together, they tend to lean towards each other? Especially in relaxed seating arrangements, like when they were watching the first episode of the show. It’s not just that they sit really close, but they lean their bodies towards each other, almost like they’re trying to face each other.

Something I’ve always noticed is that Jimin doesn’t like watching himself on screen, except when he’s monitoring performances or music videos, of course. Even then, he’s super critical of himself. But in videos like the one they were watching, he tends to question or criticise his own behaviour, or he’s just embarrassed by himself. I really wish he’d stop being so hard on himself, so critical. Another thing that’s impossible not to notice is that whenever Jimin does this and Jungkook is around, Jungkook reassures him, saying he did well, or that it’s funny or cute, or he just laughs along with him. They really do have a sweet relationship.

Jungkook really didn’t like falling out of the kayak, the way he complained to Jimin about being left behind is hilarious, ahahaha, and Jimin trying to defend himself, hahaha.

They honestly laugh at the silliest things they say or do. I love that about them.

Even though Jimin told Jungkook he could keep watching the episode without him, Jungkook paused it until Jimin came back.

Okay, this conversation was so interesting:

Jungkook: “We were worried a lot while we were filming it. Is this going to be okay? Will they be able to edit this right?”

Crew: “We were also a bit worried.”

Why were Jimin and Jungkook worried? I know that in the first two episodes especially, they kept questioning whether they’d be able to do the show, or whether certain moments would make it in, etc., but why did Jungkook say they were worried about how it would be edited? What did they get up to? Or was Jungkook specifically referring to Jimin being sick the whole time, or part of their trip in the US? Because in that case, it makes sense why they’d wonder how it’d be edited, hahaha.

Jungkook was right when he said that Jimin just had to look at his face to start laughing, and also those times when he said Jimin was happier when he was with him.

I mean, Jimin telling Jungkook how dare he enjoy the scenery and his coffee while he was dying over there, ahahaha. At least he was looking out for him, haha. So, the stone tower was indeed for Jimin, haha!

Yeah, it was really fun. AYS is a blast. I can’t believe it’s over.

Hey, I wonder if the minutes they cut from the third behind-the-scenes were of them sitting at the table having drinks. Their faces looked a bit flushed by the end, haha, I imagine from the whisky. Not them apologising to each other for snoring from the alcohol, and not the editors putting in and describing their snoring sounds—everyone’s just too unserious, haha.

God, Jimin is so cute. His outfit on the last day looked amazing. Jimin tends to wear oversized clothes like Jungkook, but not as much as Jungkook does. And they look so good on him.

Was Jimin tearing up from the cold or because it was their last day?

Jimin went to wake up Jungkook, but why we didn’t get a clip of Jimin waking him up? I mean, did the editors rob us of that too? Incredible.

Wait, didn’t they sleep in the room they entered on the night they arrived? The one with the camera? Jimin just walked past it when he went to wake up Jungkook and remember Jungkook wasn’t in that room when he was unpacking the snacks he’d bought the day before. Oh, they did sleep in the room they walked into when they arrived, the one with the camera. So, Jungkook must have already been awake when Jimin went to look for him, or he was getting dressed in the other room where they left their bags! Okay, that makes sense because in the clip where they were about to sleep, the bags weren’t in that room.

Jimin, I can’t believe they didn’t get in the jacuzzi one last time. Jungkook walking over to Jimin to touch his head and say Jimin doesn’t like it when people do that, but that he can do it, felt a bit unnecessary. I mean, we get it Jungkook, you have privileges with Jimin that others don’t; no need to brag about it. Jimin looked super cute and fluffy at that moment.

I’ve always found it funny how the guys—not just Jimin and Jungkook, but all of them—are incredibly obvious when they’re promoting a product on one of their shows, ahahaha.

On the last day, Jimin looked a bit sad, nostalgic, and down. And that’s totally understandable. Did you notice that on the last day, Jimin wasn’t using his GoPro? Only Jungkook had one on, at least when they arrived at the restaurant for their last meal in Sapporo. Jungkook also seemed a bit livelier, but only to cheer up Jimin. When they sat down to eat, a GoPro appeared filming Jimin, but when he started eating and showing what he was having to that camera, they didn’t show those clips. I wonder what happened.

When the waiter brought the beer that Jungkook ordered, he put another one on the table but then it disappeared—did Jimin send it back? Jungkook realised that if he drank the beer, he wouldn’t be able to drive to the airport and continued to ponder whether he should drink it or not, even after the staff told him not to worry about it, shows... Jungkook wanted to be the one to take them to the airport. And he wanted it to just be the two of them in the car.

Are there no flights from Sapporo or Tokyo to the US? If there are, why did Jungkook decide to fly to Seoul and then the next day to the US? Wasn’t that way more tiring for him and his staff?

Jimin asking Jungkook which piece of sushi he wanted to eat, even when he won rock-paper-scissors to choose what to eat first, says a lot about the kind of person Jimin is. It’s the little things.

They really do have a peculiar and similar sense of humour.

Jungkook genuinely wanted to be the one to take them to the airport. That’s just too sweet. And now what that person said last year makes even more sense—that they saw them in the airport parking lot, I think, together with no staff around, just their cameras, and that a few minutes later their security showed up.

Jungkook really said: “We’ll enlist together, so even in dreams we should be together,” ahahahaha. God, I love the way they talk to each other. Jimin really did look melancholic that last day. Jungkook did his best to cheer him up.

They really loved doing the show; that was more than obvious. And I love that they had those moments of relaxation and fun before their world came to a halt for nearly two years. I love that they did it together, creating all those lovely memories together. That said, I love that they mentioned it. That they said they should do it again. A reboot, as Jungkook said. For Jungkook to say those were the best trips he’s had in his life is incredible and says a lot about what his time with Jimin meant to him. To them. And yes, they ate a lot during the show, hahaha.

Jungkook: “It’s like we were on a trip but not on a trip at the same time. It was all over the place, and that’s what made it fun.”

I don’t know how accurate that translation is, but what Jungkook said really resonates because, at the end of the day, that was “work” for them, and it didn’t feel like it. They felt at home, but not in a literal or material way; they felt comfortable. They were themselves. Yes, some things were planned, but the way they reacted to those or the unexpected things that happened is what made the trip special for them and for us.

“We’re probably enjoying ourselves right now too.” – Jeon Jungkook.

I want to believe that yes, wherever they are, they’re enjoying it together.

God, the way Jungkook looked at Jimin in one of the clips at the end of the episode. The man was enchanted. Do you know what it reminded me of? The Wlive the group did in 2021, the 210219 live, where Jungkook looked at Jimin with so much adoration.

I won’t lie to you, when I saw the last clip of them on the day they were enlisting in the army, my heart stopped for a second. I never expected that. It hit me with such nostalgia and sadness at the same time. It was a cruel reality check after all that happiness.

I loved AYS, and it’s something I’ll always treasure.

If you’ve made it this far, I’m sorry and thank you—I just couldn’t stop writing ajajajajaja.

As I mentioned a few days ago in a post, I'm going to share my thoughts/conclusions on the latest episode of AYS and the show as a whole in a separate post, which you can read here.

#jkk show #rosie's thoughts

52 notes · View notes

http-paprika · 1 day

Text

There Was Something Here Once and it lingers in the air

small town au / call of duty x female reader / taglist open / wc 2030 / warnings light swearing / no use of y/n / ship not yet decided / no beta, my grammarly hates me

making a place for herself in aberdeen is not without its struggles, and not without more problems.

She tugged at her light cardigan, glancing over at the fan that sat in the corner of the diner and questioning why they even needed it with how cold it was outside. A blank document sits open on the screen of her laptop, a promise to try to write daily failing miserably as she spent her lunch break away from the small public library. The waitress walks up, refilling her cup of coffee again and glancing at the club sandwich that’d gone untouched before hurrying away to attend to the other patrons. Mostly loggers finishing a shift and grabbing a bite, all dressed in worn down workwear, a contrast to the suits and ties she used to see on her lunch breaks before.

In the corner of the diner, the doorbell rings as a new customer walks in. She glances down at her keyboard again, willing her hands to move. Hadn’t she been dreaming, talking, and wanting to write this novel since she was a girl? How many years in the making had she been plotting it up through tedious university lectures just for the actual act to be daunting, intimidating her with the idea of failing.

“Oh, hello again.” The steady voice of the tow truck driver lilts through her ears, she perks her head up to look at Johnny. He’s still in his blue coveralls, but there’s a new, noticeable oil stain on the front pocket. “Never seen you in here before, mind if I join ya?”

“No, yes. I’m sorry, I’m just all over the place today.” She sighs at the admittance as Johnny sits down across from her in the booth. He grins at the waitress when she brings by a menu, greeting him by name. In a small town like this, she was sure it wouldn’t be long before everyone knew her name, and she theirs. Though, names had never been a strong suite of hers.

“Yeah? What are ya doing on there?” He asks, nodding to her laptop and her face burns in embarrassment. She did not like to talk about her writing, there was something so private about it that opening up was like if she were to be completely exposed in the diner. Mortifying.

“Work.”

“Work?”

“Yeah.” She nods in seriousness, trying to convince him that’s what it is. But Johnny doesn’t look convinced, a grin on his face as he smiles.

“That’s the same excuse I tell John when I’m sitting on my ass.” He winks at her and that burning from earlier reappears. “Don’t worry, I won’t keep asking. If it’s private, it’s private. But, I am curious, what does a librarian exactly do? It can’t all just be checking in and out books, can it?”

“Well, um,” She blinks, trying to collect herself and find the right answer for her lunch partner. “Stuff.”

“Stuff?”

She nods at Johnny, swallowing the realization of how pitiful she is in conversations. Always had been since she was a girl, it made her and her father alike. Much to the disappointment of her mother.

“I’ll have to come visit soon then and see you do… stuff.” Johnny decides with a boldness in his voice. And when the waitress comes to take his order, she realizes that that’s the way Johnny is. Bold, proud, and bright like the sun. It’s a wonder he chose to stay in this town, should he have spread his wings out anywhere else, he would’ve been a star.

“Okay.” She says, her voice sheepish and low. A glance at her watch causes panic to hitch as she realizes her lunch break is about to end and she needs to hurry back. “I’m sorry, I hate to be poor company but I have to go.” Fishing through her tote, she sets down enough money for her meal and coffee. She takes another swig of the caffeinated beverage before shoving her laptop back into the bag.

“Don’t worry about it, you do what you need to do.” He assures her with another warm smile, she nods back slowly before the panic hits again, the bell in the nearby church steeple ringing loudly to signal the changing of the hour.

Out of the diner, across the little square that marks the downtown of Aberdeen, her loafers dig into the muddy grass. Her breath comes out into little huffs as she hurries back into the tiny public library. The door whines on its hinges from the force she applies to yanking it open. She winced in fear that it would fall right off, but it slams behind her causing her to jump out of her skin. Claire, her older coworker, sits at the circulation desk and quirks a brow up at her, the thin-rimmed glasses she always wore perched on her pointed face. There was a similarity to a crow that she couldn’t strike down, the way Claire was always watching from those beady, black eyes left her uneasy.

“Sorry.” She mutters, bowing her head whilst walking behind the circulation desk to her tiny cubby. It wasn’t much smaller than the one she’d had before, one little plant dying in a plastic pot, the postcard Beau had sent her, and one of those cheese motivational cat posters that a coworker from her last job had given her when she left. There’d never been much to her name, she didn’t have much growing up and never felt the need to want more than she needed. So, besides the boxes of books waiting to be unpacked in her cottage, clutter wasn’t something she acquired.

“Enjoy your lunch?” Claire asks, walking up to her desk with a box of books from a different library in the same system. It settles on her desk with a thud, and she can feel the heaviness in Claire’s gaze. Her punctuality when it came to time today was not the greatest, first with the car slowing her down and now this.

“Yes, sorry I was running behind. Today’s just one of those days.” She sheepishly responds, hoping Claire could spare a sliver of sympathy towards her. Hasn't she ever run late before?

“Mmm.” The elderly woman draws her mouth into a thin line, her hands resting on her bony hips. “Those are the interlibrary loans, they need to be sorted.”

“Of course. I’ll get to those right away.” She nods, hoping the old crow would leave her alone.

After giving her a dirty look for long enough, the door to the library opens again and Claire’s attention is quickly drawn away to greet the patron. Grumbling, she opened the box, sifting through the different books. A stack was quickly formed for one patron, and an appreciation formed for someone she didn’t even know. Whoever they were, she was certain that they were responsible for keeping the tiny library open.

She glances up from the assortment of books, looking over at the circulation desk where Claire was helping a young mother check out various picture books. From the few days she’d worked, the conclusion had been drawn up that only the elderly or young mothers stepped foot inside the stuffy building. She’d yet to see anyone that fit the description of loggers and frowned, they were a key demographic in Aberdeen but couldn’t be bothered to read. Back in the city, she’d done so many outreach programs to try and engage with members of the community that weren’t represented in the library. Perhaps that needed to be done here.

“Claire?” She asks gingerly, stepping up to the circulation desk once the patron has left.

Claire glances up at her, carefully pulling off the wired glasses and cleaning them up. “Can I help you?”

“Well, I was just curious about our patrons.” She wished Rosemary or Clint, the other two people who held positions at this branch, were there for her to speak with. But they were out doing god knows what, and the question continued to persist in her mind. A determination to fix a situation had always been one of the few things she stood out for.

“What about our patrons?” Claire sets the glasses back on the bridge of her thin nose, evidently not interested in whatever tangent she was about to embark on.

“Do the loggers not come in very often? I’ve only ever seen one or two.” She says, voicing her thoughts. “Should there not be something done to try and bring more of them in?”

“That’s not for you to worry about.” The response is sharp, almost painful with how Claire says it. Like somehow she’d suggested a foolish idea, one that would’ve been better never said aloud. “That’s Clint’s job. Focus on your work.”

Dejected, she nods and returns to her desk, trying hard not to look over at Claire again. The crow had only grown meaner with any interaction she tried to strike up. What she’d done to deserve the reaction was outside of her knowledge. After all, she was a competent enough librarian if nothing else.

“Do you ever visit the library on your own?” She asks Johnny, sitting in the small office of the auto shop to finally speak with John about her car. A poor attempt to keep herself from worrying about the state of the vehicle, she needed a running one.

A flush of embarrassment crosses Johnny’s face and thinking back to the conversation they’d briefly had in the diner, the answer is clear. “No, uh, not since I was younger. I’m usually not downtown, don’t even think about it and definitely don’t read as much as I should.”

She nods, not passing judgment towards his words. It was understandable, so many people tended to neglect the library, not even considering the public service.

“What would change that?”

Chewing the inside of her cheek, she tilts her head to watch as he thinks. Johnny fumbles with his hands, trying to decide on an answer that isn’t seen as offensive. She’d asked the question to hundreds of different people in an attempt to connect with the community. No one ever seemed to be able to give her a satisfying answer for change.

“Well, to put it simply, the car’s fucked.” John states, stepping into the office and running a hand over his mutton chop beard. A hard day of work is visible in his stance, he slouches against the desk as he takes the time to explain the issues the car had. In his words, he was supposed it had run as long as it had with all the underlying issues she’d failed to notice in her haste to pack up and move on. “Probably be cheaper to look at selling it for parts and buying a new, well, used one.”

She slumps in her chair, trying hard not to bury her face in her hands. Cars were expensive, even used cars. Moving wasn’t cheap either, she’d already spent what little money her grandmother had left her to help with the house note. Where was she going to scrape together the money for any sort of running car?

“Hey, it’ll be alright,” Johnny tries to console her, putting a hand on her back as she drops her head. “I’m sure something will come around, right John?”

The older man doesn’t say anything, lost in thought as she mutters to herself over financial stress. Wasn’t moving to Aberdeen supposed to make her life easier? Small town living sounded so idyllic until reality sinks in, problems hit. At least in the city, she had access to buses, even if they weren’t the cleanest and meant waking up much earlier than she would’ve liked to get to work on time. Here, she was reliant on whatever goodwill the people of Aberdeen had. And she wasn’t expecting much more after the grace shown to her that morning.

“Right, John?” Johnny asks again, looking at his boss with annoyance.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” John continues to run his hand over his beard, clearly absent from the conversation at hand. His behavior causes her to finally sit back up and blink, confused as to what exactly was happening. “There might be someone I know who could help your situation.”

#call of duty #call of duty mw2 #cod mw22 #fanfic #john soap mactavish #soap mw2 #soap mactavish #john price #small town au #there was something here once #there was something here once series

27 notes · View notes

feederheart · 1 day

Text

The Five Stages of Weight Gain,

CW: weight gain, feederism, some humiliation.

Denial

Jen couldn’t believe it; 200lbs! Jen’s wide brown eyes looked down at the bathroom scale in total disbelief. She brushed her braids out of her face and looked again just in case she read the numbers wrong. She did not; as a matter of fact, the scale finally settled on 201.5 after a few more seconds. After starting her new desk job, she hardly had any time to maintain her usual regular workouts and found herself chained to her desk for most of the day. She knew that maintaining her toned body was going to be difficult but not this difficult. She tried to find time for a run here and there but work was so exhausting that she could hardly find it. She knew that her new method of coping with the heavy workload, eating copious amounts of delicious snacks as she typed away, would ruin all of the hard work she had put into maintaining her figure but she just couldn’t help herself. She also knew that she could just lose the weight if things got out of hand.

That was it, she was going to go on a diet. No more sugary bullcrap, no more fatty garbage, only real, lean, green, and high protein dishes for her. Even if her coworker offers her snacks, the one that keeps offering her pastries and treats every now and then, she would say no. She was still the athletic beach babe that she worked so hard to be, she just had to drop a few pounds.

Anger.

250lbs. 250lbs. TWO-HUNDRED-FIFTY…

Jen still couldn’t believe it. She started a diet after hitting 200 lbs six months ago and not only has it failed but she actually GAINED fifty pounds! She was getting fatter and fatter and it seemed as if there was nothing she could do about it. Her breasts and belly were starting to get in the way of the scale’s numbers; she had to lean forward just to see the nail polish on her toes. Her arms and legs had completely lost all muscle definition, making it impossible to tell that she was once a soccer player and cheerleader just a year ago in college. She was now covered in a thick and jiggly layer of fat. Each of her butt cheeks touched the armrests of her chair now and her thighs rubbed together when she walked, ruining her favorite pair of daisy dukes. Climbing up to her fourth-floor apartment was now far more difficult than it had ever been; she was always out of breath by the time she climbed the last of the stairs. Her runs became more infrequent and much shorter thanks to how poor her fitness has become.

It did not matter what she tried, she just couldn’t help but pack on the pounds. Food was the only thing that helped with her stress; she had been sneaking a few too many cheat days in the name of relieving her stress and treating herself for working so hard. Why couldn’t her body just stay the same way, she wondered. Why did the food in her new city have to be so good? Why does working out have to be so hard? Why did that guy at work keep bringing her donuts nearly every day? It was all so infuriating.

Bargaining.

It was seriously time for Jen to try something new. She was nearing 300 lbs and for the third time, in need of a whole new wardrobe. Her belly could not be contained by any of her pants, shorts, or skirts; it hung over the waistband of all of her bottoms. The only shirt that still fit her was her tube top, leaving her entire soft, stretchmark-covered belly exposed for everyone to see. The only pants that she had that could fit over her fat, celulite-covered thighs was a large pair of sweatpants that she stole from an ex-boyfriend and even those were showing signs of being outgrown soon. Even her feet seemed to be getting fatter; the softness on top of her feet dug into the straps of her favorite flip-flops and her favorite high-heels she sometimes wore to work. Her face was swelling up with fat too; she had accumulated an extra chin and her cheeks were rounder than ever, almost like a hamster’s. Her shiny black hair still shone in the bathroom light; the one part of her that couldn’t get fatter.

Jen contemplated what to do but she was out of ideas. She tried to get on Ozempic but her health insurance providers were playing games with her. She tried intermittent fasting and getting used to not eating, but when she tried, she lost control and ate double her usual caloric intake for dinner because she was so hungry. She tried cooking her own food and starting a mediterranean diet but that didn’t seems to work either; perhaps it was because she would always douse her food with too much cheese and olive oil. Regardless, she desperately needed to find something because she was getting fatter fast and couldn’t figure out how to lose the weight. Maybe she should ask the donut guy at the office to bring fresh fruit instead.

Depression.

Well, it was offical, Jen was a fatty. At 360lbs, she was now a waddling bloated blimp of a woman. She needed to use a hand-mirror to read the scale because her belly and breasts were just too big. She only had three sets of clothes that fit her, all purchased in the last month and all slowly getting tighter with each passing day; a blouse and pencil skirt for work, a casual t-shirt and pair of shorts for errands, and a large nightdress that looked more like a tent. She spent her days working away and eating whatever she could get access to, having given up on her diet completely. She was easily the fattest girl at the office, especially now that Donna, who was 400 lbs with an even bigger belly, moved on to a different job. She felt everyone’s eyes as she waddled down the hallways. Her massive belly turned heads in cubicles, paused conversations, and even became the subject of gossip around the office. She saw one coworker looking at an older picture of her on the wall, one where her face was still thin, and did a double take as she walked by her. Her ass and hips have knocked over office supplies and framed photographs several times much to her embarrassment. A coworker once declined to step in the elevator with her despite the fact that Jen was the only other person on it. Jen even saw some pictures from her competition days and wanted to cry.

Fortunately, her luck began to turn. No, she didn’t lose any weight, she actually got a promotion that enabled her to work from home. No more walking up and down the stairs every day, no more walking to the train station, no more walking through the city, and no more being humiliated at work for her blimp of a body. All she had to do was sit on her gargantuan ass at home where she had access to all of the snacks she wanted. A welcome change, now she did not have to deal with the judgment of her coworkers. Shortly after this change in her life, she found herself sitting on her couch craving donuts. Perhaps she should give the donut guy at work a call, he was the only one who still treated her the same and did not make snide remarks regardless of how much she weighed.

Acceptance

A year and over a hundred pounds later, Jen was living the life. Her belly, now spread out all over her fat juicy thighs, served as a table as she happy scarfed down a dozen donuts. Her fat arms jiggled and swayed each time she grabbed one and put it to her fat, greedy mouth. Her fat, heavy legs were kicked up onto the coffee table and spread open so that her portable fan could blow underneath of her belly and right at her hot and sweaty crotch. She remained still so that the couch supporting her massive ass did not creak and groan so much, threatening to break right underneath of her. Her laptop was on the desk beside her, sitting dormant until she has another task to complete for work. Working at home has been great for her; now that she did not have to deal with her judgemental coworkers, her stress levels have gone way down and she found herself enjoying it a lot more. She was now able to do her work as well as relax and eat all day.

Jen was fat and there was nothing she could do about it nor did she want to; her cravings were just too strong. Even though she had received her less stressful promotion, it was too late to change, her fat and growing body now craved fatty sugary treats more than ever. Her appetite could only be sated by constant snacking, which she was more than happy to do as she typed away. She knew she would never get her toned body back but she stopped caring months ago. She was happy with her donuts and pastries.

Speaking of, she received a text from her boyfriend, the same guy from the office; he had just finished making an entire cheesecake and he was walking up the stairs now. Her overfed stomach, still ful of donuts, growled at the thought of the thick, decadent, creaminess of the cheesecake and her mouth salivated hungrily. She got up, still naked, and waddled over to the door, her belly swinging back and forth and her ass shaking up and down with each step. She didn’t need to lose weight, she didn’t need her toned body back, and she didn’t need to play sports ever again; she just needed that cheesecake.

30 notes · View notes

singsweetmelodies · 1 year

Text

hello everyone ❤️🥰👋 so, apologies in advance for what's about to be a very long post, but today is a sentimental day for me, because it is - guess what - exactly one year since i posted my first-ever f1 rpf fic and in so doing officially joined this incredible, insane, "i've never felt this way about a pairing before" fandom.

that's right. one year ago today, on the 2nd of June 2022, i, katie singsweetmelodies, posted my fic ils se connaissent par coeur - which is, of course, about piarles, and incidentally also about monaco 2022 (which, as it happens, was the first f1 race i properly followed/watch live on f1tv.) needless to say, this was a bit of a defining moment for me, fandom-wise. i mean, if you had told me one year ago that i would proceed to write over two hundred thousand words for f1 rpf, i would have laughed in your face. but here i am today, with 225184 words currently posted to AO3 on this account - and still counting!

i know everyone always says "this fandom is special" and whatnot - but in this case, for me, it really is. i mean, for fuck's sake, i wrote SMUT, if nothing else. i've certainly never done that before (or, at least, i've never published it before. but now i've got probably 50k of it available in full explicit detail on AO3... needless to say, this fandom has bewitched me mind, body and soul.)

it hasn't always been a fun ride - i mean, how could it be, i chose to be a fucking FERRARI fan - but at this point i would like to do the biggest, most whole-hearted shoutout to all the amazing, incredible people i've met along the way. yes, i've had good fandom friends before. but the ones in this fandom feel special in a way i can't quite put into words, but you just are, and i want to thank each and every one of you so, so much for it. you guys have brightened my days and my dashboard, made me laugh and made me groan out loud, made me ship things i never would have considered otherwise, and been some of the most wonderfully supportive souls i've ever had the pleasure of meeting. it has been an honour and a pleasure getting to be in this fandom with you all, and at this point all i can say is: here's to many, many more years!! ❤️❤️❤️

now, to end this all off with a hopefully full-circle moment: i started this all in monaco, so before the end of tonight, i am going to post the monaco chapter of my latest WIP (all that remains is editing those bits i wrote at 2am, lmao, and then my full circle 2 June moment will be complete.)

and all there's left to say, once again, is thank you. thank you all, for everything. i love and appreciate you all more than words can possibly say ❤️💙

#katie rambles #a whole fucking YEAR guys!!#not to be all sentimental but... it does feel like i've known some of you forever #posting that first fic with so much hesitation feels like a LIFETIME ago fr #this fandom has made me feel so welcome in the most beautiful; beautiful way #and i love you all for it. i love you ALL #it has been an honour and an absolute pleasure #and; seriously; here's to many more years. SO many more!!#(PS: if we have interacted in any tiny way; then you are my bestie tonight. i love you. I LOVE YOU. thank you so much. *hugs tightly*)

22 notes · View notes

carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

Note

years later someone buys the plot, turns on the lights and is suddenly worshipped as a sun god by a bunch of puppets falling apart at the seams

pov you break into the spooky abandoned Playfellow Studios building for shits and giggles

#lore tidbit! the plot is not available for purchase #the building is only Technically abandoned. its still very much Owned private property!#actually ive been thinking about the Other side of this au. the people's perspective #cause in this au at least they all Knew the puppets were alive #many employees - especially the ones working 'closest' to the puppets - put up a huge fight when the show got canceled #but it was either Disassemble (kill) Them or Lock Them Away #and honestly? killing the neighbors would've been somewhat of a mercy #but the employees had no way of knowing just how Bad things would get #wh lights out au #scribble salad #and i mean. the building's electricity bill remains paid.#the employees that felt really bad kept it paid over the years - devoting a bit of their income each to it #thinking the puppets would a) be awake & b) be able to figure it out #yeah that's actually a lil fun tragic tidbit as well - if any of the puppets had found the breaker....#or found it and Messed with it a lil... flipped the right switch...#they would've gotten the lights back on no problem #but yeah anyway ive been Thinking about the employees' side of things a lot #might tie that in with act two. it'd make sense considering the shit that happens #well either they'd help the puppets out or they'd get shoved into one of the sinkholes by barnaby. so.#bc if we're talkin seriously here. the puppets are more likely to kill a person than worship them for any reason #they'd go full 'THREAT!! THREAT!! ELIMINATE THE THREAT!!! WE'RE NOT LOSING ANYONE ELSE!!!' mode

748 notes · View notes

whatsaudreythinkingabout · 10 months

Text

spto coming out has been such a surreal experience bc before it came out i was like. the one roxie kinnie (at least as far as i was aware, i’m not doubting that there were more out there) & now she has like a million stans and half of me is like “FINALLY other people who understand her the way i do” and the other half is like “i liked her before it was cool. my blorbo. mine.”

#this isn’t meant to be taken that seriously ofc #i hope this doesn’t come off as like. pretentious or gatekeepy or anything #it’s just weird when you have a character you identify with so strongly that suddenly becomes popular after years of being underrated #and you’re torn between enjoying their newfound popularity w others & missing having them all to yourself #i’m so unbelievably happy that the show gave her the character development she deserved #and that she’s becoming more people’s favorite #and that we’re getting more fan content of her bc i was STARVED #and i’ll give my more detailed thoughts in a separate post #but also never forget I WAS THE FIRST #i am the self-appointed CEO for a reason #some details i actually predicted in my own HCs #(many of which i haven’t even posted here yet)#& i’m SHOCKED that so many of my own thoughts on her ended up coming true #scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim takes off #scott pilgrim vs the world #roxie richter #roxy richter #audrey thoughts

103 notes · View notes

intotheelliwoods · 6 months

Note

Gonna ask this to a few people that inspire me, but how do you take inspiration from things without feeling like whatever you make is just bad in comparison? Or like a downgraded version of the thing(s) that inspired you?

(If this is too negative feel free to delete/ignore, I'm sorry)

Oh gosh this is such an interesting question since, I dont think I really have feelings of thinking my version is bad? Or that I am just a copy?

I am honestly just grateful my work became as popular as it is in the first place haha- low expectations going in to begin with. That and, I am very aware my art style isnt as defined and polished as other peoples styles, but I have come to terms with this! And hey the improvement in my own artwork over the past year is a massive trip if you go back through some of my older stuff- I am improving, slowly.

I mean, 2AL started by complete accident, and was "inspired" from me wishing the Leos from OMO or MNMC would hug it out already- but if you were to compare 2AL to one of those, they are very different. Hell even comparing OMO and MNMC, same starting point, but still very different.

I think my only advice to other people trying to make an AU is to try and find some core theme/idea and work around that, rather than gather a bunch of little things from other sources you like into a big pile. Find some key message to start up a base with.

#asks #no seriously 2al was by COMPLETE accident #and then it exploded so I kept it going #oh well #also like!!!!#seriously #the people you are probably comparing yourself too #chances are just have wayyy more experience and practice than you #like!!!! dude sometimes it hits me how many of my friends and other “big blogs” are either #1. professional artists who do this shit for a living anyways #or 2. have been drawing digitally for way way longer than me #digital art is still new territory for me so I am giving myself some slack here #that and I have no interest in art for a career #this is just my side hobby!#yknow!!!!#for FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!#and wheres the fun in going #“damn this person who has years more experience than me and draws for a living is... somehow better at drawing than me this is so unfair”#answer: theres no fun in that #but also fr-#I have only been doing digital art consistently (in this style specifically) for.#a year-#deadass.#I have not done much art before all this outside notebook paper doodles #and the occasional once every month or two painting #all this is so new to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#im learning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I deserve to give myself so so much slack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I have also improved so much in the past year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oops tag ramble

35 notes · View notes

neil-neil-orange-peel · 4 months

Note

I love reading your asks, so I wanted to ask you if you had any favorite female characters from Rik and Ade projects?

Helloooo! Thank you, that's so sweet. ❤️ Let's see... I'm going to single out some TYO characters specifically and then talk more generally. This post is absolutely going to become a big, incoherent mess. 😂

Sue from Sociology is my favourite minor TYO character. Don't get me wrong, I love Helen the Murderess too, but there's something that draws me to Sue. To be fair, I'm just seriously weak for Jennifer Saunders in general, and she's basically done up as a female Rick here, if Rick was actually cool. I like inserting her into fanfic sometimes (okay, once... but I have plans). She's very much a background character for the majority of Interesting, but Interesting itself is one of the first (and only, possibly the only?) time there are lots of women in a TYO scene at once, even if they're not getting to do much. Shout out to Dawn's Christian who gets crushed by the gigantic sandwich too, of course! (As an aside, I find it funny that both Jennifer and Dawn got to strangle/smother Mike on the sofa on different occasions.)

Vyvyan's mum. Pauline Melville pops up a couple of other times in TYO as well, and she's just very good whenever she does. I believe she gave French & Saunders a bit of guidance when they were all on the standup circuit. Vyv's mum is a great character because she's just SO awful. Let female characters be awful! She's so spiky and sharp in every way, and she's probably the only semi-developed female character who appears on the show. I think letting the audience meet her gives Vyvyan a bit of texture and depth - sure, we could imagine any family background for any of them, but we're being told THIS HERE is Vyvyan's. Poor Vyv. Pauline Melville herself, of course, is a prize-winning writer now! The dream.

The devil and her condemned soul is one of my favourite TYO cutaway segments. The condemned soul is Helen Atkinson-Wood, who is most well-known for playing Mrs Miggins in Blackadder the Third. She also has a small role in the Comic Strip episode Consuela (and possibly others, but I looked up the cast list to that one yonks ago because it's my favourite). I wonder if Lise wrote this sketch, considering the subject matter. Either way, Dawn and Helen's delivery is great, especially the faux discrete way Dawn says "period pains". I hope it put stuffy men's heckles up.

Aside from TYO, Jen and Dawn were often the only female presence in the Comic Strip episodes, particularly the earlier ones. Of the first two series, Dawn wrote Summer School and Jen wrote Slags - neither were standout episodes of their series, the kind often recalled today, but with Slags especially, the female characters within them were given more agency and stake in the plot than usual. Jen played five different characters in Happy Families in 1985 - a little gem written by Ben and also starring Ade.

I'd like to give a little shout out to Helen Lederer, who popped up a lot in Rik and Ade's - and French & Saunders' - comic output, while never really being given her own opportunity to shine on TV. Oh, and I'd also like to give a shout out to Marsha Fitzalan, who played Sarah B'Stard in The New Statesman - she did such a good job of playing an intensely flawed, funny female character. There are countless male characters who are basically terrible people - I mean, Alan B'Stard for one - and it's vital women are also allowed to be that awful in comedy.

Comedy has always been a pretty male sphere. Even these days, there are definitely still men Ricky Gervais who believe women can't be funny. Misogyny is still massively prevalent in society. Male comics attract female attention; female comics attract male abuse. That's a simplification and generalisation, of course, but it's broadly true. And I don't see younger generations of men getting better with this, to be honest. Actually, I see them getting worse (thanks, Andrew Tate). Sorry to be all doom and gloom!

When Rik and Ade started out in comedy, women getting to play characters other than wives or the like - that is, straight characters and caricatures there largely for the male characters to bounce off of for their laughs - was still uncommon. Despite the existence of successful female comics across the pond like Lucille Ball, and beloved 1970s sitcom The Good Life having a main cast split evenly gender-wise (I know Richard Briers technically had first credit, but Penelope Keith as Margo Leadbetter was absolutely the funniest of the four of them), there was a genuine belief that women couldn't (and maybe shouldn't) be doing comedy.

Women like Victoria Wood were pushing boundaries in important ways around the time of the alternative comedy boom by writing specifically about women (and, quite often, northern women - which I personally think is important, since Last of the Summer Wine had such a chokehold on portraying almost all of its female characters as ostensibly the same). Her sitcom dinnerladies was both melancholic and hilarious. Her sketch shows and other comic output, quite often featuring Julie Walters (her friend and muse), Celia Imrie, and many others, were all written entirely by her. She was also a gifted pianist and wrote several comic songs.

All of this is to say, Victoria Wood definitely helped pave the way for French & Saunders. She even referred to herself as an alternative comedian in her material. But honestly, I don't think it was until much later that women stopped being regularly restricted to straight roles in comedies created by men (which, of course, most comedies were). This was part of why Absolutely Fabulous, written by Jen, was such a breath of fresh air in the 1990s. For once, every single major character was a woman - men were the scarcity! And Jen has mentioned before that producers would constantly pressure her to write more roles for men. Meanwhile, we can observe that Girls on Top (dubbed the female TYO, which is... sort of true and sort of not), which Dawn and Jen starred in with Ruby Wax and Tracey Ullman in the 1980s, isn't very well-known today. I'm not 100% sure how well it was received at the time, but clearly it wasn't as popular as TYO had been before it. Ruby Wax and Tracey Ullman have both also had successful careers in comedy, but I'd argue that's mainly thanks (particularly in Tracy's case) to opportunities in America.

So I'm not saying women never got to be the funny (also I'm just talking about the UK), but the fact is: if your comedy has a completely/majority male cast, with women only popping up in supporting roles or in guest appearances, it's obvious which characters are going to be better developed, more beloved, and just funnier. I mean, even the Vicar of Dibley, which was obviously written for Dawn and showcases her comic prowess, features a supporting cast of funny men (there was also Emma Chambers as Alice and Liz Smith as Leticia - before she was killed off - but the women were outnumbered by the men). I get that this perhaps fits with the idea of a tiny, slightly backwards village in Oxfordshire - and the fact Geraldine was a female vicar shocking these men was very important to the premise - but still.

We know certain men just REALLY struggle at writing women, too, so they've either done a really bad job or just avoided trying altogether. I do have an example for this, but I don't want to name them since I do love the show they created - it's just, y'know, writing women is definitely not their strong suit! And I'm really not trying to poo poo any shows here by pointing this out. I'm just making observations. All of these comedies I'm referencing here are very old now.

So! To get back to where I started with this!

I love that Lise Mayer was one of the writers of The Young Ones. In some ways, the fact one of the writers was a woman feels pretty incredible for 1982. At the same time, though, it's not surprising that she's often the forgotten one when people talk about who wrote TYO.

Rik and Ade were/are feminists, and it obviously wasn't their fault as individuals that comedy was so male - comedy was also restrictive in other ways before them. In terms of social class and political attitudes, they were definitely something refreshing and new. That said, it wouldn't be until later, with people like Caroline Aherne (who really changed the fundamentals of the sitcom genre with The Royle Family), that working class voices who weren't fucking Bernard Manning actually got some notice in comedy. And I've not even mentioned race in this ramble. If comedy was male, it was even more pale. There were comedies starring black and Asian comics in the 1980s and 1990s that started to break through - The Lenny Henry Show, Chef!, Desmond's, The Real McCoy, Goodness Gracious Me - but there's no denying BAME people, BAME women especially, have had to struggle a lot for a voice in comedy. Comedy is more diverse today than it was 40 years ago. There has been progress. But it's absolutely still male dominated, and still very white, at the top.

Rik was pegged as the golden boy of the alternative comedy movement, and he was and is undoubtedly remembered for so many different comedies. But in terms of pure success and fame? Actually, I think Dawn and Jen have been the standouts of their cohort. I don't think anyone would've predicted this 40 odd years ago - I mean, Christ, Rik had to speak up just to ensure they got equal pay at The Comic Strip. The boys were given their chance to shine first, there's no doubt about that. But it was Dawn and Jen who were the subjects of a BBC documentary last Christmas.

...Maybe there is hope for funny women, after all.

#asks #anon #me rambling #there were so many women i wanted to name drop here but just couldn't #like seriously there are too many #i haven't even scratched the surface of the 80s and 90s never mind the last 30 years #i mean without getting into the extremely important political context that is obviously at the heart of derry girls #i love the representation of teenage girls as weird and cringy and sometimes terrible and not these ethereal intimidating unknowable beings #which is what the world seems to have universally agreed they are #as well as of course being silly and hysterical and having dumb interests #ARGH i won't go off on a rant about teenage girlhood and misogyny in the tags #also i realise i didn't exactly address the ask but tbh i think just addressing the women in rik and ade's catalogue would be more limiting #than the answer already is 😂

15 notes · View notes