#and you’re hoping it gets filled but
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it hurts, wanting
#bugthots#wishing for things is like#your hope makes room for something#like hole in you#and you’re hoping it gets filled but#it isn’t and sometimes it can’t be#it hurts and stuff#in a sucking pit kind of way#and it’s easy to get scared out of hopefulness#but then on the other hand it’s like#what if there’s potential here for real#hard 2 tell#s it worth the wound :(#but I’m feeling like it is rn#even tho it’s scary#I am fragile?
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Hi so I'm probably going to reread liab soon and like catch up bc the last thing I remember reading I think they were in BSS and they've probably moved on from there now like I think it's probably been like a year since I've read it I think I remember trying to reread at some point but then I stopped so trust I'll properly do it this time probably maybe but anyway the point is it occurred to me I haven't talked to you in ages so how have you been my beautiful Sreedy?? I miss annoying you and sending you mysterious anon emojis but honestly I like to think I've matured a bit since I used to do that I mean max will probably tell you otherwise but don't listen to her her opinion is irrelevant also don't listen to anything Merlin says ever bc we met in person and they're actually just a little bitch so yeah um ily im going to start liab now and if not now soon and I might put updates in the discord if im feeling it but also im looking forward to finding my old embarrassing comments I used to leave on every chapter so theres that
HELLO AGAIN 👋 LOVE YOU 🫶 I MISSED YOU
HIIIIIIIIIIIII BEAUTIFUL SPYYYYY!!!
I wholeheartedly agree about M&M (Merlin & Max) and the fact you traveled all the way to visit Merlin is IMPRESSIVE but now you both need to come visit Max and then roadtrip down to Florida. Mmmkay? & funny story is the boys are STILL in BSS haha. The fic will end in BSS(ish) - so we’re still there preparing for battle haha. I also slowed down quite a bit with updating & spent a lot of time giving the boys some healing and getting through some conversations & building up situation-ships but now would be a good time to catch up considering we’re about the battle it out! Yippieeee
as always spy you’re amazing <333333 you three stay out of trouble haha
#Btw if you scream in the discord I won’t see it#I gotta do something about my discord I think I deleted it hahaha sorry I let my dramatics get the better of me#No matter how much I mature I’m still a mess lol so I’m sorry spy but there’s probably no hope for you either#I’ll rejoin the server at some point just let me get my shit together haha#I hope you enjoy your reread lol#If you don’t feel like reading a million words plus you can always DM me and I’ll fill you in on what you missed#ITF is the most relevant obviously haha#But that alone is almost half a million words#Btw Bun if you see this you’re amazing I’ll respond to you soon I swear I’m just a loser#& thotty don’t hate me either I love youuuu#Using my tags to share my please don’t hate me lol#SPY I MISS YOU I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE AN ASK FROM YOU HIIIIII!!!!!#Ask#spy-d-er
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from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything. there will never be another like you. ever.
#yellow was his colour because it emphasised the light he gave off#this is so redundant given i haven’t used this blog for two years and then i came back for like a week only for this to happen LOL#anyways if you’re reading this: thank you. this blog meant more to me than anything & the friendships it gave me will last a lifetime.#i think he’d be happiest to know that over the years he gave people a sense of community & belonging.#especially people who maybe felt like they didn’t have that growing up (me)#sitting back and realising i grew up with him fills me with such a sense of privilege & happiness that i cannot even begin to describe#this is so personal but i struggled a lot in 2020 (as everyone did) and having him along with f1 & this blog was such a saving grace for me#and i don’t think i could ever begin to express my gratitude. to him & to anyone this blog gave to me.#he will always be formula one to me & the reality that he won’t be here again is just far too painful for me to accept.#i feel good about leaving this blog behind for good & everything it holds. every photo. every liveblog. snapshots of his career.#i hope people can continue to get the same joy from it that i had when posting. and i hope you can remember daniel’s career for what it was#he deserves it.#so again: thank you.
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hey dimension 20 gang I got a question
I’m signed up to get pre-sale for the upcoming quangle show and I’m going to buy tickets for myself and a friend but while I’m able and willing to splurge quite a bit, they’ve got a pretty solid budget they gotta stick to so basically. those of you who have bought tickets to any dimension 20 live show, how much were they?
#if you could mention the section/how far from the stage that would be helpful too#if you’re comfy sharing ofc#i would absolutely love to get floor seats but i also wanna respect the friends budget#so yeah any responses would be helpful thank you!!#dimension 20#dimension 20 live#d20#dimension twenty#dimension 20 time quangle#time quangle#i hope that’s enough tags i don’t wanna fill any specific campaign tags lol
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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Stealing this image from twitter and bringing it over here, because holy shit, some of the clowns I have been seeing talk about the game lately.
#Novice Network is a toxic waste pit right now#filled to the brim with returners who think they’re hot shit talking about ‘If Square really thought a cutscene was important they would hav#e put voice acting in it’ and other shit like that#‘I just skip all non voiced because the voiced cutscenes recap all that boring shit anyway”’#no they don’t???#Is THIS what a new Expac brings out?#because it’s genuinely dreadful#do you even enjoy the game at that point? Complain about fetch quests complain about the dialogue complain about the writing quality#why not just go play a game you like???#It’s getting to the point where I just have my chat log closed most of the time#not leaving NN because it WAS really nice during the post-Endwalker patch cycle#when mostly only people who actually liked the game (????) were still playing.#but the amount of toxic attitude returners I’ve seen in there lately is disheartening.#I hope it’ll come back down in the following weeks#once they’ve burnt through Dawntrail and decided the game doesn’t have anything for them#and they’ve sufficiently wasted their time#instead of just… taking it slow and taking in the world and the sights and the story……..#I’ve heard that Dawntrail is basically ARR 2. Which. big if true.#Because we could use that.#A return to form#with the new systems and developments in the game#bringing the story back down a little bit and reining it in#I am VERY excited to get there some day.#but I know that these people I’m bitching and moaning about aren’t thrilled#(honestly that just makes me like it more)#Anyway#point is#if you’re playing a game why the hell aren’t you engaging with said game?#What’s the point of skipping to the end as fast as possible only to get annoyed when there’s no more content?#This is exactly the problem that I’ve heard ex-WoW players complain about with regards to their player base
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you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one!
oh. oh.
#don’t think i’ve read this kim addonizio poem and it just blindsided me like a truck thank you so much#i. oh god. like yeah.#pour me shitfaced into your car i feel like you own a comforter extremely dysfunctional only in surface details like which person was the#black hole and the distant spark in space that might’ve been a star there’s something too with unrelenting mist / many-headed mist / missed#who knew mis(t)/sed had undone so many. while you keep an eye on the burner here’s hoping this flame doesn’t go out#the flame as in the spark as in don’t let me have pinned my hopes on you to watch it burn out again but also me. like please let me not go#and i think there’s something there too with the repetitive ‘i have just met you’ and i already love you that reminds me both of a story#colman domingo told abt meeting his partner i cry everytime i hear it right when he says ‘i think i love u &you’re about to change my life’#and i KNOW there’s another poem. and i feel like it maybe has a dog and it talks about how they don’t even know you but they love you#OH IT’S ALSO. OH MY GOD THAT’S IT. i mean not exactly so maybe i have read this before & it’s what has been haunting me for so long but#the opening line to tim seibles naïve is ‘i love you but i don’t know you’ - mennonite woman#the odds of that dog poem being a carl phillips poem is non-zero btw. his poems about dogs make me see shrimp colors (bertuzzi thesis)#ANYWAY. agreed. this is incredibly hockey and incredibly hurtful because they DO bond like this in 0.0001 seconds because if you can’t#you’re fucked. you have to just find somebody and fall in love with them and it’s the salmon and the triple cream brie like they got taken#out to some fancy meet the donors team night in their suits and one of them is dealing with a heartbreak and a trade and are the things#they think true or are they just missing what the used to have. jamie who used to empty and refill the ice tray YES sorry i have been a#little bit thinking that about the trevor dealing so poorly with the breakup and i wish i had another narrative (which i do) but it fits#trade deadline tragedy#and also the formation of a codependent rookies like. two guys that get drafted and brought up together and suddenly they’re doing#everything together and it’s your first time in the big show and none of your old college friends understand because they’re not there#and you can’t get it. like you think you know but they can’t understand and the loneliness and it IS guys taking care of each other#(alexa play harriet by hey rosetta! but specifically the bridge) and it’s just. i just!!! trying to fill up the missing pieces of your life#like i cannot convey WHOMST i am trying to pin this narrative to this is going to rotate for a long while i think#because it’s not a wild i fell in love with you at first sight it’s a you were kind to me when i was broken. and i love you for that.#like who is FALLING APART &happens to fall into someone else’s arms. purely for the partygirl aspect the devil (old hrpf) says ‘13 bennguin#who among us hasn’t fallen mildly briefly brilliantly in love with a stranger and imagined a future where you get everything you want#sometimes we love people for who they are and sometimes we love them for what we’re not and sometimes for who we think they’ll be#this was a very long way to say thank you for sharing <3 i will also be making this about my hockey guys <3#OH MY GOD IT’S DPAIRS. WHO’S BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL DPAIRS#nonny <3
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the way bitey fixed tomshiv i think it could fix macden
#post north dakota macden i am always thinking of you . There Is a Hole That Can’t Be Filled#trying to just go back to the way it was BUT WE CANT !!!! we can never go back to before north dakota#because it’s not Just north dakota . it’s mac coming out. it’s mac being recognised as gay more frequently by the gang . it’s blatant and#you can’t ignore it . and if mac’s called gay then dennis will be too. if you just stay as you were#but you miss it. subtle static domesticity. everything was nothing and it didn’t matter#but you’re getting old. people are expecting you to Be Someone . there’s less and less excuses#BUT. bitey . it could unlock you#reminiscent of that physical closeness that wouldn’t mark you as cursed#the way it does now#express your deep viscious passionate hatred and all it’s faces#what’s behind the hate. who he really is . who you are. together and separate#mend the bridge. that you once stood on while it was still alight. hoping he could catch alight but all you did was burn yourself#there’s no coming back from north dakota#but maybe bitey will be the unspoken tools to mend your home
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time to celebrate a legend @mccleans
wishing you thee happiest of birthdays mai beloved Lucy!!!🥳🎊💐 i hope your day and your new year brings you all the love, joy, prosperity, new adventures…EVERYTHING and MOREEE!!! someone as kind, genuine, and lovely only deserves the same amount of goodness they continuously give to everyone around them❤️
i’ve said it before and I’m gonna say it a billion more times, I’m SOOOO incredibly lucky to be able to call you a friend. someone I can goof off with then have a heart to heart with, seamlessly🫶🏽 someone whose affection I will cherish forever and always…I love you SO much🥺🫂
I couldn’t resist making one for you…hope it’s to your liking🤭
#may your bday be filled with nothing but amazing things and hope you feel all the love I’m sending your way….bc it’s immense mamas<3#hope you’re feeling better too meu amor I hate that you’re sick on your bday :(#I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUUU!!! always will!!!❤️#mai lucy<3#need to post this now bc it’s getting late n these drinks got me dozing off in the water agshsjsk but happy birthday amor da minha vidaaaa🗣
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clari ur so appreciated <333 genuinely every time i open the app i type in ur user and see if uve updated anything ! not just fics but ur reposts and rambles r so cute and fun to read too !! take it easy on urself and see if you can do some things that you enjoy as a reward for making it thru not just the 5 rough days but the whole time uve been here!! mwahh -555
ah!!!! 555 anon!!! the amount of love i hold in my heart for you!!! <33 you are such a sweetheart oh my gosh thank you so much for this <3 i’m so happy my blog can make you smile!!! u make me smile!!!
today was so exhausting with all the medical stuffs i had to do but i am finally home n i had some yummy veggie rolls and now i’m ready to get back to editing dabi’s birthday fic hehe c:
#i’m sooooo so so sleepy hahaha#you know when you’ve had a long rough day and then you’re finally home and you fill your tummy with yummy food and then you’re like#‘ah i could take a nap right now’ hahahaha#that’s how i feel#but i rly wanna get this piece done so!!!! editing time!!!!#i hope you’re doing well bb thank you so much for this ask <33#555.anon#clari gets mail
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the followup ask wasn't me but otherwise yep, right person! "privacy"? the privacy of posting about me for a year straight, on a public account, on a public site, surrounded by peers? on the account MY friend was ~mutuals~ with you on, where he had to see you shittalking me on his dash weekly? the privacy of misinterpreting every thing i said to you so you can hide your (justifiably) hurt feelings behind "Actually ableism is the fault of all of this!"? the privacy of painting me as an ableist, as your Gross Icky Pr*ship Ex Friend, trying to get everyone to pity you, be on your side, because "it was an ugly friend breakup" won't justify the extent of your feelings (IT WOULD), in your head? THE PRIVACY OF DECRYING ME AS AN "INCEST SHIPPER" (NOT EVEN TRUE)???? i wasn't even looking at your blog in the first place, i heard secondhand, that's how ignorant and obvious your comments were. your words and Ideas about someone (that you Literally Are publically crying out) don't exist in a vacuum, they MEAN something, and other people will hear them. or did you care about decrying your Beloved Exfriend, Older [Sister] Figure as this and that hurtful thing and the impact of it as much as you cared about the friendship i was struggling and reaching out a hand (that i never Needed or Expected you to reply to) to maintain and let live and, I Dunno, Not let you be isolated in an echo chamber of your own anxiety forever? the attempted friendship that you valued less than venting on tumblr all day long? that you valued as much as listening to your two remaining friends that were trying to help you? but have fun believing me checking in on you for months on end, encouraging you when you Were capable of saying anything, waiting for you no matter what, trying to involve you in our lives so you weren't permanantly stuck in 2021 alone and unloved and unheard, and sending you paragraph after paragraph of apology and clarification to clean up the mess i made... was just ableism. i hope you enjoy never thinking about it, never rereading what i said, and pinning every shitty thing i did on Must be cause i'm oppressed, and living without the nuance you claim to use. i hope you enjoy crying about it publically to people you only talk to indirectly, to people who will never get to know you directly, because you've made your stance on any closeness or attempts at it deathly clear. i hope you keep whining that i'm only "ableist", and i hope nobody truly hears you, like it has been for the last year. rot in your own refusal to change
Jesus Christ man you do realize you said some horrendous and ableist shit to me (i still have screencaps before you go calling me a lying piece of shit) and have actively gone out of my way to block you and anyone who interacts with you on here.
you took advantage of my sadness at a very vulnerable time and used that to fight with me over shipping discourse because i dared to imply i’m scared of a group directly connected to my groomers
you need to fucking get your shit together because the way you’re acting is pathetic and the shit you did was horrible and you have no right to decide what and what isn’t ableist. of course it isn’t ableist to you. nobody ever gives a shit unless we’re directly being called useless cripples.
grow the fuck up and leave my life entirely. you did not try to involve me in your lives, you messaged me at 3 am telling me all my problems were my fault such as using cases of my chronic fatigue to paint me as lazy and careless. and then said you didn’t like me since 2020.
i GRIEVED our friendship. you hurt me over the dumbest shit when i was at our most vulnerable when i thought i could trust you. it was performative at best and actively hateful at the worst. you used words from a private vent blog to make me feel like shit
“wow cripple you didn’t suck up your fatigue and talk to me? you must hate me so much and want us all dead and think I’m a predator and and and etc etc”
this is my blog and i can post about whatever the fuck i want. i never mentioned your name or where to find you. please go the fuck away because now i can just confirm this is an act of purposeful malice and it hurts. i trusted you so much.
#i actually hope you lead a fulfilling life filled with friends and happiness. but please be better about this shit.#i hope you understand that even if i did lie you still can’t fucking talk to disabled people like that just because you’re mad#edit: just made the connection but if you’re why i’ve been getting suibait that’s real fucking low. like abysmally low. what the fuck
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The instant 🔥 reaction I have to those bite mark tattoos is the reason I will be single forever.
#I would die right then and there#also ha ha#just me filling my skin with symbols of all the love I don’t have lol#‘I’ll get irreversibility on my other arm when I have it’ I say to myself. knowing full well I’m older than both of them now#I will never forget the time my German bff destroyed me by saying ‘you’re entangled in them. they’re not’#thanks ◡̈ I didn’t need that reality check but you sure delivered it.#anywho I have a well full of hope. with dwindling patience.#back to the point. that shits hot.#can’t wait to get that Evak line tattoo with the colour on their cheeks…
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Kk cool, I’m going to be fighting with hr about so much shit I can smell it
#had a meal violation three weeks ago#did not get paid for it#called payroll ‘oh that’s timesheets’#called timesheets ‘oh that’s he’#called hr ‘oh you have to fill out a manual form for every meal violation in case we need to coach + we need more info about the incident’#which is hr speak for ‘we’re trying to make it look like you’re being ridiculous’#JOKES ON YOU IM MISS OSHA COMPLIANCE WORKERS RIGHTS#I GOT A BANK TO PAY ME OUT FOR SIX MONTHS OF BREAK VIOLATIONS BY BEING A BITCH ABOUT IT#IVE ALREADY TOLD MY TRAINIG GROUP WHERE TO FIND STATE RELEVANT LAWS#I do not play games about my rights and I will get paid what I’m owed#also how the fuck does this fancy place have a *worse* meal violations process than fucking Starbucks#which tried to gaslight me into agreeing there was a meal violation ‘grace period’ (there isn’t)#when they didn’t just hope I wouldn’t notice I hadn’t been paid the premium#I will fight god in the street over a half squished French fry do not fucking try me about worker’s rights
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Small thing that breaks my heart:
When I was in third grade, I told this boy that it would be my birthday in four days, and he said, “okay, then I’ll buy you flowers.” Four days later he comes up to me and says, “my mom wouldn’t let me get flowers but I found you this violet in the grass.” That in and of itself was iconic and so so sweet, but it gets better.
A month later, I had to move, and because it was third grade, the teacher made everyone write me letters to say goodbye. His said, “I hope you have so much fun in your new house that you forget about me. I hope that you’re always happy and you never miss us. I’m sorry I never gave you flowers, but I can give you some now.” And he fucking. Drew me flowers.
No, Joey, I never forgot you. You are the reason I have standards in this life, and I’m so grateful to have known you. I hope you’re happy, wherever you are, and I hope that the rest of your days are filled with as much joy as you gave to me. I spilled water on the card about five years ago, and half of it is a a jumbled mess now, but I still have it. It’s the only card I still have.
The funny thing is this dude and I hardly ever interacted. I knew he played football because he was on the town’s kids’ team and my brother was on the middle school team, and I knew he was one of, like, three Joeys in our year. I had a crush on him but obviously never communicated that because it was fucking third grade, but somehow those three interactions imprinted on who I am as a person. I am forever changed by Joey from third grade.
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i’m so excited to see troy’s dad i listened to the rolled today and apparently it’s not what we expect so like is he gonna be like amazing or is he going to somehow be worse then troy like what happened im so excited
#my troy playlist will definitely need edits lol but to be fair the description is ‘vibe read 2 episodes in’ it was never going to be accurat#e#also like a month ago i was so convinced w the clockwork troy theory and i still really really love it and i want it so bad but idk im not#as convinced anymore#on my pin board i have two sections for him lol#the normal section i have for everyone#and below it a section ‘merge if this turns out canon’#cause it was so fucking cool and i wanted to explore it even though its still theory#there’s also some vibe reads in there as well#i haven’t looked at it since the last two eps tho since i was so busy starting school so maybe it’s time to overhaul#i feel like my pinterest alone could get me an autism diagnosis but alas i don’t want one lmao#me and the desire to collect and ‘collage’ things that remind me of a thing#and it’s all incomprehensibly organized#i’ve said it a hundred times i’ll say it again my pinterest is somehow more embarrassing then my tumblr#i just give people my tumblr#to be fair pinterest is prolly easy to find i accidentally found condis somehow but like#i did not mean to find it either i reallllly hope his last name is already public info cause if not someone other then me could also find it#intentionally or not#cause tbh i just wanted to see if people uploaded screenshots of his mc skins or stuff#i didn’t know what to do so i immediately closed it again and proceeded to immediately forget his last name#benefits of a bad memory#accidentally learned someone’s deadname once (yearbook fucking sucks they did they same to me even after i filled out the name change form)#and i don’t remember it anymore i blocked it out lol#i forget stuff that stresses me out and knowing someone’s birth name when they don’t want people to stresses me out#anyway there’s my rambles fo today i’m so sorry#like if you’re still reading though that’s on you to be fair#my post#also hopefully i didn’t say too much about the rolled but ive seen people post whole clips so i think im okay#to be fair for me personally when i hear something about something i just want the primary source even more#like if you paraphrased it i want the EXACT WORDS FEOM THEIR MPUTH WHAT IF TOU MKSSED SOMETJING WHAT IF WHAT IF primary source my beloved
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#shut up iz#I was walking down the stairs at work and something made me picture you walking up them#I would have run to you on that landing my body wouldn’t have known how to do anything else#it scares the living shit out of me#it doesn’t get any easier if anything it gets harder#it’s just been sitting in my body whilst I blast on filling every second with noise#i need to stop using tumblr as a diary but I guess I want you to know a little bit#I’m also scared of you knowing because I don’t want to hurt you anymore#I want you to get better#I don’t know how to help#I left because I didn’t know what else to do#that’s still true so I guess it was the right choice#maybe you’re getting better and this is beyond egotistical of me#I hope you’re doing better
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