#and you will always kind of want that
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i think one of the symptoms of being extremely online from the age of 10 is that u will one day no longer be the loneliest little girl in the universe who only has fun doing online fandom discourse. and instead you will have real life friends and a girlfriend and career ambitions. but a part of you yearns for the freedom of being 13 with a popular voltron blog or 11 with a popular frozen fanfiction. it’s so strange.
#my post#like damn i guess having no good friends in childhood and being a weirdo fat dyke at a conservative school#while at the same time finding friends and community (in a loose sense of the term) in entirely online spaces#will cause you to associate the relative bliss of childhood/early teen years with shaladin discourse#and also being incredibly lonely#and you will always kind of want that
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drawing deltarune every day until chapter 3&4 drop ✨(day 101)
childhood sweethearts
#deltarune#noelle holiday#kris dreemurr#utdr#weird route#snowgrave route#fanart#daily deltarune#blood tw#kriselle#<- if you want it to be. the idea i was trying to get across is that before noelle actually understood what romance or marriage was#as a kid she just was like ''well i would marry kris bcuz they're my best friend ^_^''#also ive always been interested in the idea that these two were sort of always ''expected'' to get together. like not FORCED to#but their parents would always comment on how well they got along and would kind of assume they might start dating eventually#like yknow. the whole thing of our families are friends so wouldnt it be cute if our kids got together and tied us together??#ive having difficulty wording it but i hope you know what im talking about lmao#1k#2k#3k#edit: THIS IS NOT ABOUT CISHET STOP SAYING THAT!!! KRIS IS NOT A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#you will survive. you will make it to tomorrow. we will persist. we will always be here no matter what they want#sorry for my doom posting here#this is actually important to remember I’m just worked up#also I’m exhausted but the kind where I cannot sleep#election#us politics#us elections
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I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.
#animation#animated film#animated movies#across the spiderverse#across the spider-verse#spiderverse#puss in boots#puss in boots the last wish#puss in boots 2#nimona#nimona film#yes i'm posting this specifically because i just watched nimona and am feeling all kinds of things but really these are all PEAK TIER#the fact they have ALL been released within 7 months of each other...like...woah we are thriving right now#stylised animation with its own unique style reflecting the movie i love you forever kissing you on the mouth#films that make me ferally rip up any and all art blocks to shreds#and that's just the animation side of things#i won't get started on the plots. they also make me want to bounce off of walls#hugging all these close to my chest#as well as all the other great animated movies that exist because animation wins all catergories for me always#(let's not forget anime movies either; y'all are beautiful too! keeping 2d animation alive and i'm so here for it)
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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The self-awareness on this guy 😞 someone pls send him an "are you bi?" quiz STAT
#dead plate#rody lamoree#rody x vincent#vincent charbonneau#rodince#rodincent#my art#i saw someone tag one of my drawings with a version of their ship name using their last names and it was nice but i forgot what it was#aksjdhf#also NOO i forgot Rody's lil moles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#thankfully at least tumblr allows edits#anyways#rody looks so wonky to me but I just wanted to stop fidgeting with it and post it since i wasnt getting anywhere anyways aksjdfh#also little story time lol#when i was in 10th grade there was this girl in my chemisty class that i was kinda frienemies with#we just always got into arguments with each other but the vibe ultimately stayed light and friendly between us#kinda like a <<fuck you but anyways what did you get for no. 5>> kind of situation#one day she slammed one of her hands against the door right next to my head 😳😳#i think she was trying to intimidate me but instead it just gave me a core memory LMAOOO#thankfully by then i already knew i wasnt straight lol but it definitely unlocked something in me hahahah
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Sunrise, Parabellum.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#'Good morning. Prepare for war'.#At a glance it may seem like my interest in crossing over Disco Elysium and MDZS is based on the surface parallels.#Protagonists with a bad reputation who find themselves waking up in an unknown location?#The alcoholism? The murder mystery? The stoic and yet deeply patient companion?#Easily tied together. A crossover that writes itself.#But that is not what inspires me to draw parellels between these two stories.#It is about the places at the edge of the world riddled with bomb craters and bullet holes - to serve as a reminder of a lost war.#It is about a dream that was worth fighting for being crushed by larger powers who feared losing that power.#They wanted to build something beautiful and hopeful. It almost was. They lined them up in front of the firing line.#Nearly all the dreamers are gone. Yet the dream lives. Small and patient. It was a worthy dream to live and die for.#And it will wait; thousands of nights and thousands of sunrises.#The bombs may rain down at night but there will always be a sunrise tomorrow. You lived. Keep fighting.#Light your match and set the message ablaze: Un jour je serai de retour près de toi.#For the dead and departed who believed in it. For those we loved and lost. For the future we hoped for.#One day; I will return to your side.#Anyways. I am once again begging you to play Disco Elysium. Especially if you’re a MDZS fan.#They are stories that have something to say about the value of small kindnesses in big sacrifices.#And about hope at the very end of the world.#(EDIT: I thought this flopped hard but I scheduled it way too far in advance. Oops! Midnight Parabellum it is!)
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be critical of yourself in a way that lifts you up, which means: catch yourself when you're thinking mean things about yourself / correct yourself when you're imagining what negative opinions others might have about you / encourage yourself to do better next time in a gentler and more optimistic way / never strive for more without acknowledging how far you have already come. it's okay to be nice to yourself.
#why does nobody ever talk about how very difficult it actually is to genuinely be nice to yourself?#we are so often taught to be humble and to strive to do better#that it blurs the lines between being critical of ourselves and discrediting our efforts#we all want to be considered kind and pleasant people#but completely tend to remove ourselves from that equation#be nice to you! consistently! always!#mental health
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Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!
Mentioning an unfamiliar name
yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..
I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.
#null rot#yandere kny#yandere demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#midori306#YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THE YANDERE QUESTION MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER#uwaa and i recently checked back on their designs.. THEY HAVE LONG SLANTED EARS DUDE WHAT THE FUCKKK THATS LIKE THE CUTEST EVER#i tend to shitpost and focus on the dere than the yan but thats my mistake!! im sorry cult members.. I'll need scarousal#when calling sekdio. he pretends to ignore you but you can tell he heard you when his ear twitches#He's flabbergasted that you met someone else to begin with. who let you go out without one of them?!#hes too shocked and angry to even properly get upset!!#Karaku loves everything you have to say. less so if its positive abt someone else. still listens tho. listening carefully for details..#he doesnt mind others eyeing you. youre perfect in his eyes. who wouldnt? still.. thats not gonna fly well.#Urogi loves when you seek him out but mentioning someone else... is bc you want to feed him right? ofc! you want to benefit him!#its cause hes your favorite! yeah! youre so sweet!!! ofc he'll get rid of someone for you both!!#Aizetsu's bashful. he feels put on the spot when calling him but hes always hoping you give him affection of some kind. always ready for yo#mentioning someone else was NOT what he wanted and now hes sad.. youre making him sad.. whats so important you had to bring that up?#The thought of anyone else makes him feel so exhausted already.. wont you comfort him instead? he needs you now.. atone for your mistakes#uwaa expressions.. uwaaa aizetsu releasing some of the tension in his brows when hes feeling upset towards you uWAA#i CANT RAMBLE ENOUGH IN THE TAGS SO WAIT FOR THE POST I HAVE IN THE BACK BURNER FROM SOMEONE ELSE WHO ASKED FOR SOMETHING SIMILAR!!!!!!!
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Stede + Being a Wonderful Dad Captain for @stedebonnets
#OFMD#Our Flag Means Death#OFMD Season 2#OFMD S2 Spoilers#Stede Bonnet#Rhys Darby#The Swede#Buttons#Lucius Spriggs#ofmdedit#ofmd gifs#ofmdgifs#ofmdsource#ofmdblog#ofmddaily#Edit#HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR ARRRAAAAA#wanted to give you stede being so supportive and kind because YOU'RE always supportive and kind hey gottem#apologies if i'm a bit late to the party for your time zone but WHABAM HERE WE ARE ANYWAY#stede taking a bit more leadership all the while maintaining his kindness is Stabbing Me. In the Earhole. With a SKEWAH#btw#if you even care#SHDJKLSDJDFD
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kaito screencap redraw! plus my favorite panel from the scarlet return arc lol
I've been reading detco for like 2 years and the unhealthy obsession fanart motivation finally caught up
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
#my art#artists on tumblr#fanart#digital art#dcmk#detective conan#detco#case closed#kaitou kid#magic kaito#kuroba kaito#first pirates and now thieves#why is it always the fictional wanted criminals that get to me#although i must say#it’s objectively not a great time to get into this fandom#cousin gate…#i watched from up on poppy hill right after i found out about it and i was so scared lol#like please. you can’t do this to me twice in a row#been sketching a lot and not finishing anything lately (art block??)#so ty kaito for pulling through#guys i cant believe he stars in 2 shows#am i crazy or does he kind of resemble oikawa#oh and that last panel always makes me laugh#stay silly
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all sunrise on the reaping has taught me is that the same way katniss is haymitch's not-daughter, peeta is effie's not-son
#the compassion the care the kindness..... she was creating his embryo when she first met haymitch#the politcal savvy the manipulation the conniving..... oh how she loves her son#the loving somebody through their worst..... effie and peeta you will always be real to me!!!!#she stood by haymitch through twenty five years of alcoholism. peeta stood by katniss through the hunger games#through his hijacking. even at the end he still loved her. he went through 2!!! hunger games for her.....#cant stop thinking of peeta and effie in those capitol cells..... cant stop thinking of them using effie to make peeta cooperate.....#cant stop thinking about peeta waking up in 13 and wanting effie#peeta post-mjay eating breakfast at effie's place after his therapy sessions#peeta post-mj coming up with plans to convince effie to move to 12#THAT'S HIS MOM!!!!#effie having nightmares and the only she can convince herself that it's safe is by making sure peeta's heart still beats....#they're literally the most mother and son duo ever....#wait!!! peeta slowly losing himself to the hijacking and effie desperately trying to remind him who he is#dont fucking touch me!!!#thg#the hunger games#sunrise on the reaping#thg sotr#sotr#peeta mellark#effie trinket#haymitch abernathy#katniss everdeen
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The new generation leaders
#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#jiang cheng#jin zixuan#nie huaisang#mo dao zu shi#the untamed#my art#i redesigned them a bit again what gives!!#i always said i wasn't too fond of my jzx and nhs but i think i like these versions!#i really like nhs with shorter hair or hairdos#and jzx with straighter hair and these kind of jewleries look both rich but also humble which is exactly what i wanted to hit#jiang cheng would pop out more in full body ver but he's always kinda same-ish he just works#messy yllz wwx is the goat and i will not have him any other way thank you#also lwj being as simple and elegant and flowy as possible...yes please
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Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...
Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...
Part one
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#there's a lot i could say about this one#the idea of someone telling edwin he's go to hell is absurd as it is#edwin telling edwin? lmao#the charles... oh they hate each other#reverse charles is angry (he always is) because this other version of himself was spared hell... in exchange for edwin going there?#obviously it doesn't work like that. og charles hadn't even been born when his edwin was sent to hell#but anger is not a rational thing. especially not for this boy#og charles? you don't want to know what he's thinking#i'm telling you anyways#he... kind of agrees. if someone had to go to hell#why edwin? why not him? there is an universe in which that happened#so why not this one? unfair#then again... look at this charles who did go to hell#he's explosive. he's DANGEROUS#he shouldn't be near edwin#if og charles had gone to hell would he be the same? would he be too angry to be trusted? would he be like his father?#and if so would that really count as saving edwin at all?#if this is the kind of best friend poor edwin would end up with?#on a happier note though#physical contact!! reverse charles loves it#i don't have all the details but his hell was on the rage ring so it was different to the dollhouse.#and it was a very violent place so boy loves gentle touches#luckily edwin is more willing to give them to him with each year#i think what the edwins are feeling is a lot more clear#but still would love to hear your thoughts
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env practice ft the reunion scene
#gravity falls#stanley pines#my art#i lovweee gf in the winter soo much#in their podcast they talk ab how they kind of regretted limiting it to the summer bc you werent able to see the diff seasons#so theyd remedy it by always using a flashback for autumn or winter or whatever and i like.no i get it fr#this whole scene in atots is my favorite#tbh i dont feel a certain way ab this otwhr than i want to keep going and try to like . post w m/o attachment ykwm#like its done i finished it i like some parts and hate others couldve been worse and i had fun coloring it#NOTHIG 2 SAYY RLY ^_^ i did enjoy my sketches more tho HAJHAAHHA like it looked more shack like than this does#maybe bc its omly a partial view#tbh i dont like the stan in this though . i mustve erased him 20 diff times but he gives context yk. otherwise i wouldve just kept the shack#normal n not boarded or fenced up#whateve.#birthday today. hooray
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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