#and you need Taylor Hebert for that
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Just hit me how much we really lucked out with the whole leviathan dice rolling thing. Could you imagine how much worse Worm would have been if Taylor died 8 arcs in and we had the remaining 24 with Aegis, a fucking Ward whose power is being the worst flying brick ever?
#Our blessed unhinged pathetic girlboss vs the blasphemous Just Some Guy#we would have traded Aisha Alec Brian Rachel and Lisa#who are some of the most characters of all time#for Kid Win Clockblocker Vista and whoever else#We wouldn't have gotten Gold Morning#or any of the incredible heartwrenching moments with Lisa or Rachel during it#worm is about the tragedy of loving taylor hebert#and you need Taylor Hebert for that#worm#worm wildbow#worm web serial#taylor hebert#wrote these tags at 1 am so sorry if rambly or nonsensical
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what if they were happy huh?? what then!!!!
#worm#parahumans#taylor hebert#skitter#brian laborn#grue#auggg they were just teenagers....should have been able to have a bunch of sibly dates an stuf....#i think they could have worked!#and also i think even in a no powers au those 2 could have possibly been friends it just would have taken two years#of them being in the same theater class that they are both there against their will at#taylor because its an elective without her bullies in it and brian because aisha is in it and he wanted to support her interests#and they really needed a stage hand come ON brian dont you LOVE your SISTER#they would stand silently and uncomfortably next 2 eachother while all the other drama nerds laugh and joke around eachother#thinking vaguely homophobic thoughts before eventually having extremely tame conversation every two days#also man i sure do hate drawing humans!!!!! poses and hands and faces!!! suffering!!!
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Characters who’ve already irreversible changed even before the story started.
Characters who‘s past self haunts the story like a flickering ghost.
Whom we only ever see through the shortest glimpses, like movement from the corner of your eye, there then gone.
The past self which shows who they used to be, who they will never be again. Who they carry within themselves, a living grave
#wildbow#worm by wildbow#taylor hebert#parahumans#wormblr#skitter#worm#worm parahumans#Taylor i miss you#i really need to draw more past self taylor
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Worm Arc 14 thoughts from 14.8 through the end:
Gonna get a little bit gay up in here pretty soon. But first, some other stuff.
Pretty much jump right into "Oh shit everything is fucked" with the bio-weapon just spreading everywhere right away.
Skitter's focus on Tattletale specifically when trying to get them to higher ground was top level Chatterbug/Smugbug content. Like sure Sundancer and Trickster too, she wanted to save them. But when Bentley wasn't climbing fast enough what she said to herself in worry was "Tattletale."
Fucking god. Tattletale telling Skitter to fly to the higher building and use bugs so Trickster could teleport them and they'd follow? But fully knowing it wouldn't work and just trying to get Skitter to safety?
"It doesn’t look like her plan will work out. Tell her I’m sorry." - I WAS FUCKING BAWLING
I had figured that Bonesaw's contingency wasn't just a "everyone dies right now" virus or whatever. It would need to be artistic. And it would need to be a punishment to the local capes, both hero and villain. And the way to punish them would be to "take the city from them". "Make them watch it destroy itself." "Make them help".
I feel like what she did covered that general outline with a heavier focus on taking everything away from the capes. But still, god damn Bonesaw. Absolutely fucking terrifying. Super powered face blindness. At the base at least. Don't know who anyone is. Damn.
SKITTER IT'S NOT GAY YET THAT ISN'T TATTLETALE IT'S BONESAW! GAY WILL COME LATER!
If Jack put's his slimy fucking hands on my daughter again I will personally remove them.
The "Don't swear!" from Bonesaw while pretending to be Tattletale was fun. I managed to hit on it before that, but it was a good confirmation.
Fucking Jack and his "You’re versatile" after seeing Skitter make decoys while prepping to tie someone up with spiders. FUCK OFF WITH YOUR DREAMS YOU DICK. YOU CAN'T HAVE HER.
Instantly confirmed when Skitter flat refused to shoot someone despite Jack and Bonesaw telling her to. My daughter might not be perfect but she's not going to be one of you!
Coil fucked up a bit on the phone. He wasn't dealing with the pathogen so he should have done better. Even just asking everyone there to say something so he could listen to the voices. He would have known right away it wasn't Tattletale and Grue. Patching them through to Cherish that easily was a mistake. He really doesn't do as much as he could be. Like ya he's evil but that doesn't mean I'm not disappointed when he isn't using his full potential.
Cherish very fucked up when she thought letting Jack and Bonesaw know where she was would be good for her. Hope she likes her eternal torment at the bottom of the ocean. (Ok there's a chance she'll get pulled out in the future I guess.)
I'll admit, when Amy left with Victoria earlier I wasn't expecting to see them again so soon.
"Panacea is the healer, top floor, Jack is the slasher, the blond girl is the chemist-tinker." I don't know why, since it doesn't rhyme or anything, but I got very "The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true" vibes from this.
Jack trying to convince Amy by talking about how many of her ancestors were successful by being cruel and Taylor just internally going "How many were successful because they cooperated?" Love my daughter.
Victoria is still very much . . . not dead.
HOLY SHIT AMY YOU PUT YOUR SISTER IN A PERSONALIZED FLESH COFFIN MADE FROM CATS AND DOGS?
Seriously. Personalized. It has her face on the outside made out of bone. What the actual fuck Amy?
Proud of my daughter for shooting Jack, even if it didn't work.
It's probably fine that Skitter got Amy to break her brain rule again. I mean like it's good. It was the only way to fix the pathogen. It saved herself and the city. That is all good. Just . . . there might also be some long term negative outcomes. Probably fine though.
Getting gets cured and goes off to cure the city be gay.
"I leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on her lips." - EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER!
SO FUCKING GAY I LOST MY FUCKING MIND WHEN IT HAPPENED
"'You couldn’t have waited until after you’d cured me before you put the bugs on your face?' Tattletale asked. She was smiling as she asked it." - ALSO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
SO GAY. DOUBLE GAY. EXTRA GAY. ALL THE GAY!
CHATTERBUGCHATTERBUGCHATTERBUG (SMUGBUG IS FINE TOO)!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also the level of effort the girls went through after that trying to figure out how to cure Grue and Regent without kissing? Fucking amazing. Kissing was only ok for these three. Obviously.
GAAAAAAY
Gay (bug)horse girl gay (bug)horse girl gay (bug)horse girl
And the remainder of the Nine got away. Which is pretty fucking bad I guess. What with the whole "end of the world" and all that. I get that story point is the *actual* big end of the arc. But it's been overshadowed. By the gays.
Did I mention things being gay? I just want to make sure. Cause they were. Gay that is.
Interlude 1 - Sierra is amazing. She is exactly who Skitter needs to be running things while she's away. Charlotte is also amazing and I think worships the ground Skitter walks on. My daughter is, as always, absolutely terrifying when described from anyone else's PoV. She only gets more so every time. She just uses bug speak without even realizing now. Amazing. I love her. Atlas is helping and I'm so proud of him. He even got to take the gun. I hope he gets to keep it.
Interlude 2 (thought about making this it's own post but I'll just keep it really simple) - God dammit all three of the big 3 are Cauldron created? Ugh. Legend you appear to be trying to do the right thing but you sure as shit aren't paying much attention are you? Holy shit like, you believed so much of what the Doctor has been saying for years? God damn bud. How could you look at Cauldron and assume they *aren't* doing human experimentation? Especially since you know they have done it in the past! Like god damn man! At least you do kind of acknowledge that maybe you were purposefully ignoring the signs cause you wanted to be ignorant. Maybe there is a little bit of hope for you. Hell of a lore dump interlude though. Gives me lots to think about. Also I'd absolutely listen to The Number Man talk about spreadsheets all day long.
GAY
#Worm#Worm Web Serial#Parahumans#Cairavende reads Worm#The Slaughterhouse Nine#Taylor Hebert#Lisa Wilbourn#Rachel Lindt#Wolfspider#Chatterbug#Smugbug#GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#SO FUCKING GAY I'M DYING#I'm sure once Vicky wakes up and is released from her FLESH COFFIN that she will be just fine#Maybe a tiny itty bitty bit of therapy will be needed#For real though the first time The Number Man started talking I instantly wanted to be alone in a room with him.#It didn't matter that he was running over the possible outcomes of a end of the world situation and talking about the deaths of billions.#Fucking hell just spreadsheets to me man! PLEASE!#You can give me estimates all day long.#ALSO FOR REAL THOUGH IT WAS SO GAY#WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER#CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG
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Emma is so compelling to me, especially now that I’ve read her interlude.
She was just a little kid who was a little spoiled, selfish and cowardly and the right set of circumstances came together to make her ruin her life on purpose.
She intentionally becomes what she sees as a bad person because she is desperate to avoid pain and the emotions that swirl in her own head. She is essentially a foil to Taylor in how none of what she does to herself would have been possible without the systems in place enabling her. The system enable her to become a bully the same way Taylor becomes a villain in opposition to it.
Reading her interlude I wanted nothing more for her to recover and come out healed. Finding a way to fix the damage she is doing to herself but I’ve seen enough spoilers to know that it doesn’t happen.
She drives her life into the ground and she is pretty miserable about it the whole way through. Everything might been different if someone had stepped in and stoped her from hurting herself and Taylor. The system fails one more time to protect people.
I was gonna put a whole personal anecdote here but instead I’ll just say that I’m so deeply sad that we don’t set up our world to protect and help people who need it. We have the resources to protect people but we don’t use them. It’s so deeply tragic.
#worm spoilers#parahumans#worm web serial#worm#taylor hebert#emma barnes#I can’t believe I have to post about Emma Barnes#I’m terrible at analysis#get someone else to do it#also someone write some good Emma fanfic for me please#I need it in my bones#wormblr#also wasn’t a big fan of how they show Emma is going downhill#by having her side with Sophia#like I get what it’s going for but show her some sympathy too lol#she’s also a traumatized 15 year old but they treat her like she’s jack slash#not that he’s unsympathetic either but you get it
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this is so fucking TASTY
#I LOVE YOU TAYLOR HEBERT#reaction time#i need to put taylor hebert and william wisp in a room together and study them#how long would it take for them to either form an alliance or kill each other
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when people are like "i'm going to Score A Win For The Gays by performatively decrying Taylor/Brian" but actually they're just being racist
Alright it’s almost 2 AM time for an unhinged rant
This is my #1 pet peeve actually. As a pasty white queer person nothing pisses me off more than white queer people (or even just queer people full stop) using their queer/gay/lgbt card to just be another kind of bigot. You can be queer and still be racist besties! Examine your beliefs and question why you believe them!!!
But in all seriousness people performatively decrying Taylor/Brian as either “uwu Taylor must be a wlw untouched by the impure hand of Men” or “Not-as-slick-as-y’all-think-you-are racists” gets on my nerves so bad. Because you’re missing the chance to appreciate the actual text of the story AND the bittersweet tragedy of it all. Just because (spoilers) they didn’t work out and Brian dies unceremoniously without Taylor knowing or bothering to double check (right before she scrambles her brains and uses the fabricated idea of Brian in a cabin as her anchor to reality), doesn’t mean that they didn’t impact each other and make each other better (and worse) people in long-lasting ways. Yes, Taylor MAJORLY fucked up Brian by abandoning/betraying him when he really needed that stability and she promised that she could deliver it, and it’s cathartic to get out of Taylor’s head and see that he actually did find someone he could lean on in Cozen, but also we can see how this kind of young, naive, and well-meaning but ultimately destructive kind of love that I’m sure many of us encountered when we were young and fucked up in a relationship (romantic or otherwise) could manifest in someone like Taylor. Because we saw her at her best, when she was able to be what she needed to be for Brian, when Brian made her finally feel good about herself for the first time since Emma turned on her, when they found comfort in each other when their worlds fell to shit. The wounds they healed could only be matched by the wounds they made, reflexive and thematic of them being in the right relationship at the wrong time. If I made that dynamic into a queer relationship or a same-race relationship, bet people would be talking about this ship a whole lot more. But no. We have to be racist and put down het ships because everything that’s het or “Not White/the Acceptable kind of POC” is Bad and Icky and we can’t be bothered with that. God forbid it be both! Fuck riiiight off :)
(Also side tangent but a healthy dose of biphobia oft sneaks in here because everyone’s quick to write off that bi people can be in het-passing relationships too. I do in fact fanon Taylor/Brian as both being bi because men and women don’t talk about women like that *gestures vaguely at how Wildbow writes florid descriptions of women in Taylor’s brain and like, the barest bones musings for Brian, repressed bisexual <3* and not end up being some kinda fruity.)
To paraphrase my much-smarter-than-me partner, it is still revolutionary to see a black man and a white woman in a real relationship in media, especially one that doesn’t play into the tired racist stereotypes and is (at least somewhat) healthy and optimistic about the fact that interracial relationships are not only viable but completely normal and harmless and desirable. Taylor/Brian was by no means perfect, but my god was it refreshing to see a character like Taylor, a very complex feminine character that wants to be perceived as strong, smart, and capable while also being feminine and desirable without being conventionally attractive, who just wants to know she can be loved despite her trauma, and Brian, a deeply emotional man struggling with the interconnectedness of his life’s traumas with his practice of masculinity as emotionally restricting/repressing, and his desire to protect the people he loves despite the literally crippling PTSD and a tendency to hold on just a little too tight, get into a relationship and actually work out there for a sec. And the fact that you get all of this obvious love and care and attention put into an interracial relationship on TOP of that is just chefs kiss 11/10 best shit I’ve seen in my life. It is such a welcome change to your average tasteless, de-clawed straight or even gay relationships in media or fandom and I would actively pay to see another Taylor/Brian style pairing over 2 conventionally attractive twinks/femmes being uwu cute at each other.
This was a very meandering and scattered rant but yeah. This is by no means excusing any of the actually racist stuff in Worm, because it’s certainly in there, but I can talk about that a different time.
Thinly veiled miscegenation-phobias and generalized racism begone! Stan Taylor/Brian for clear skin and an actually well-written romance.
#also Parian and Foil#if you needed gays#but yeah fuck queer people who hide behind their queerness to be a bigot#it’s literally 2AM I am never this outwardly opinionated online but good lord I’m so tired of the good ship slander#people can ship who they wanna ship im not gonna stop em but yeah#I swear im more articulate than this#also I don’t hate queer ships I just hate shitting on het or het passing ships solely bc they’re het or bc ‘being gay is inherently better’#newsflash- it’s not#anyway my eyes hurt im going to bed#pleasure ranting w/ y’all#worm spoilers#parahumans#worm parahumans#worm#skitter#grue#taylor hebert#brian laborn#Taylor/Brian#nightswarm#that’s what im calling them now
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#thebirdcage#Taylor Hebert did nothing wrong#This picture drawn by Randall Munroe#who has authorized its dissemination#and I have deigned to take advantage of that and share it here#but you can see that so you don't need further explanation#assuming you can see that#HHH.txt#I forgot I made this joke and it's buried forever now but it amuses me
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when "every way erodes the lines / still there's no good, there's only kind" and when "we fell in love and spilled our blood on this pale blue dot"
and when "oh, I don't wanna be the only one living when all of my friends are gone" and when "I will be waiting for you on the other side of the frozen pines / I'm gonna find a way through, there's another life beyond the line"
and when "I wanna believe in time travel / that one day I'll come back for you" and wh
and when "Oh no, I think I'm not quite ready / To let you circle the drain / All the things we've broken / can be puzzled together again" and when "I think that you're worth keeping around / I think you're worth holding on to" and and. and when "It's gonna hurt like hell / but we're gonna be well / I'll give you my best shot"
and when "you taught me the courage of stars / before you left" a
*deep breath*
and when "I babble on until my voice is gone (...) but the words fall flat like cymbals crashing, like molars gnashing"
and when "oh, love, where do we run? / we always gotta go at the sound of a gun" and "So get off your cross / 'cause, love, you are lost" and "oh you, you are the dawn, screaming through the dark, screaming through the dark and silent night" [khepri...]
and when "there's a weight you carry, trying to let go / and you know that if I could, I would take it all away" and "On the day you left me you promised you'd come back / I don't know who taught you how to live like that / All the fences in your way have to crumple in the wind / one day"
and "how dare you love me like you've never known fear?"
#I feel the need to share my Lisa POV queerplatonic smugbug playlist#God help the aroace girlies with complicated long distance close friend(???)ships when they find out about this pairing#sobs#you can imagine this as romantic or platonic too if you like I don't mind#go ham#have fun with it#join me#tattletale#lisa wilbourn#taylor hebert#skitter#khepri#khepri...#I am not and never will be over Khepri#gold morning#worm#wormblr#worm spoilers#smugbug#character playlist#ship playlist#kind of#when it comes to actual ships I am a wolfspider truther#how dare you love me like you've never known fear...#banger tunes for my blorbos
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My least favorite worm character is probably either Colin or Theo. Favorite is probably either Taylor or Bakuda
#worm#hawk.txt#If I made the post while reading worm least favorite would def be Jack slash but like#he’s at least fun to hate#Armsmaster and Theo are just. really annoying#I don’t really need to explain why I like Taylor. like. she’s literally Taylor Hebert#you can’t not like her it’s impossible#Bakuda just has such a strong personality- really fun to read about#(though this being Worm her creation is. ludicrously racist. like#wildbow literally the idea was like. him trying to create the opposite of an Asian woman)#(by having a Japanese lady who is ambitious and rude instead of like. servile and submissive)
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This is why I ship Pillbug. No no not because I want to rescue Amy from misery, or TayTay for that matter (well I do but...it's complicated). It's because I like the idea of both of them going "I can fix her" while making each other far, far worse. Poison is much more addicting than honey.
it's really funny to me that the worm fandom always seems to romantically pair characters they want to rescue from misery with taylor because like. Well. You see, she's Taylor.
#wormblr#amy dallon#taylor hebert#pillbug#god I love these two#emmet my love I desperately need you to beta me so I can post my horrible fic
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Taylor Hebert artwork courtesy of @senviva!
Propaganda under the cut.
Taylor Hebert AKA Skitter has too much propaganda for this post! Her propaganda post can be found here.
Caroline/GLaDOS
you know her you love her!!!!! tumblr's favorite unethical mad scientist robot lesbian! you can't have a poll like this without her
neurotoxin :)
I have no energy to write propaganda I’m sorry but she deserves this!!!! She’s the antagonist of all time. She’s funny and smart and passive aggressive and lying to your face. She’s filling the room with neurotoxin. She’s still alive.
FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT MY GIRL. Anyways Glados did nothing wrong.
Constantly mean to Chell, in love with Chell, tries to murder Chell, saves Chell's life, helps Chell, hinders Chell, is a potato, used to be a secretary before being forced to upload her consciousness into a personality sphere, floods the facility with deadly neurotoxin, is a sexy robot... need I say more?
OK SO she killed all those people BUT they confined her to an immortal hell as a digital being so like??? deserved. it's implied she may have hated Cave and some cut dialogue even suggests she was forced into GLADOS against her will. she was just getting her revenge what's so wrong with that!!!!
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rating Parahumans guys on how well I think they'd be as parents
Brian: I think Brian would believe he is a great father, but there is too much repressed emotions and depression in there to properly care for and raise a child. 3/10, Not particularly good.
Alec: Alec has lacked a real positive parental unit in his life, and while I don't think he would purposefully be shitty to a kid, I think he might fall back on what he knows from his own youth. Might be a fun older brother though. 3/10, needs to focus on himself first
Danny Hebert: Too sad about his wife dying to properly parent. no further notes. 2/10, Danny please get it together Taylor is relying on you
Armsmaster: Would rub off his worst personality traits onto a kid, resulting in them being the average r/malelivingspace user. Might also encourage child to grow poor facial hair. 1/10, I feel bad for whatever unfortunate soul is consigned to this fate.
Coil: Coil would be an absent father for 90% of your childhood, unless you were useful for his plans. In that case, he would feed you drugs or some other unethical thing and make you work for him (child labor (bad)). 2/10, conditions are poor but you might get to meet some of the other children he has, fixing the playdate situation.
Kaiser: See in story results. -5/10 Nazis don't make good parents.
Uber and Leet: They come as a package deal obviously, and they are actually pretty okay parents, they aren't great obviously but they aren't tremendous failures either. That is until you show up on one of their livestreams and then you are the laughingstock of the school. 4/10 Don't upload your kids online.
Scion: Too sad about his wife dying to properly parent. Also not emotionally available. 1/10, get it together man people are relying on you.
Mark Dallon: Not necessarily a bad parent, but he has a laundry list of problems that he needs to work through before he can begin to think to focus on his kids. 3/10, he's trying by god. He's not doing good but he's trying.
Number Man: He would probably respond to any question his kid asks with some weird philosophical math metaphor. Is a killer cook though. Also math classes would be a breeze. Unfortunately, most of his time is dedicated to cauldron. 5/10, grades will be great.
Accord: The worst type of helicopter parent. He would make itineraries to follow any time his kid went out and would require them home in pristine condition super early. Has a rigorous study schedule and puts a lot of pressure on you to succeed, and you know he wants whats best for you but like its stifling and you aren't really living for you but for him. Sure grades are good but you just can't do it anymore. 4/10, the depression and GPA are soaring.
Jack Slash: As seen in Worm, he is an absolutely killer parent. Has a fun family vibe? check. Engages with his children's interest and allows them to pursue it? check. Keeps his child intellectually and creatively stimulated? check. Takes his family all over the country to see new exciting places and people? check. Dude is simply top tier on the parenting skill. Sure the family dynamic is a bit unorthodox, but when the results look this good can you really argue? 10/10 Jack Slash has got it going on.
#inspired by all those weird reddit threads talking about if Taylor would be a good mother#why is that such a popular discussion?#geniunely I don't understand#worm#parahumans#wormblr#jack slash#armsmaster#number man#accord#scion#alec vasil#brian laborn
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Worm Cast Impressions (Arcs 1 to 7)
Easy money says some of these characters are about to fucking die so I'm pausing now to jot down my impressions of everybody who's managed to make an impact (and one or two characters whose lack of impact is kind of impressive)
Undersiders
Taylor Hebert: Character of all time. Simultaneously sanest and least sane person in the entire universe. Deeply concerned about keeping hold of her moral core, constantly innovating in ways to inflict violence on her enemies real and imagined. Has never fully finished thinking her actions through once in her entire life, people keep thinking she's the most cautious girl they know. Her first kiss was partly because she liked the boy and partly because she wanted to piss off her bully. I am cheering for her more often than not and I am so scared of what this story is going to do to her.
Brian Laborn: I want to study him in a lab. Team leader entirely by default, as near as I can tell. Hates using violence as a means of control, really good at using violence as a means of control, seems to default to using violence as a means of control when he's upset. I don't think he's normal about women. Desperately trying to be so so so boring, thinks he's perfectly rational even though he is just as unhinged as his teammates, I suspect that he has built a mental prison with twenty layers of protection around all thoughts that would suggest he is anything other than Normal and Strong and Reliable. Maybe turned on by efficient displays of violence?
Lisa Wilbourn: She is so charming and I am so scared of what's actually going on in her head. I think Taylor's best friend but definitely her biggest enabler. Stop lying and let me know what is going on in your head, I know more about Alec and Rachel than I know about you. Concerned that she's only nominally concerned about Coil being a heinous fucker. Desperately hoping the air can be cleared so I stop worrying about whether she's going to destroy Taylor or something. She has to know Taylor is a wannabe hero.
Alec: The fact that he's really only done one thing that I consider morally in the wrong is kind of incredible when looking at the fact that he's a recovering sex cult enforcer who started living something approaching a normal human life as a homeless preteen. He's had three years to jury rig a sense of humanity and morality mostly on his own and the end result is a selfish lazy jerk, and yet the fact that this is what he's managed to come up with on his own is, without sarcasm, worthy of a fucking prize. He's actually really good at this all things considered. Actually a little bummed that he didn't oppose Coil for the whole Dinah creepfest.
Rachel Lindt: Rachel Lindt is maybe the best character so far. Autistic dog girl who only tolerates human society so she can better feed and care for her animals. I'd say something like "I'd kill for her" but there's no way I could do that any better than her dogs and she'd call me stupid. Only thing against her at this point is the slur usage, which is rough to deal with, but I suspect part of that is just being written in 2011.
Loved Ones
Danny Hebert: You sad bastard. Please survive long enough to reconcile with your daughter. I know he can't provide any material support for the problems his daughter has been dealing with, that the bullies are too well-protected and there's basically nothing that he can do about parahuman shit, but I wish she would allow him to be there for her. Maybe he'd be uncool about it, sure, but maybe not. Makes me sad to think about.
Aisha Laborn: This girl is in dire need of someone to have her back and also, like, pay attention to her; Brian is the closest one to actually doing it but I don't think his best efforts are enough. I know she's gonna be an Undersider in the future so hopefully I get to have a more thorough impression of her, and one that's not marred by the fucking Mercedes metaphor, Jesus Christ that was a rough passage to get through.
Protectorate
Armsmaster: I'd probably like him more if he wasn't so up his own ass about being in charge and earning glory. My suspicion is that he's basically a good guy with some bad habits that nobody can check him on, which has spiraled out of control. Might unironically consider a teenage criminal his nemesis, which is funny but not a great sign of his priorities.
Miss Militia: My prior complaints about her possibly inappropriate response to holding Regent hostage are entirely subsumed by the fact that the last twenty-six years of her life have been lived on terms set by the Protectorate. She was nearly devoured by the machinery of empire and now she's become a component of empire that feeds upon others, and she hasn't even realized it. She never had a goddamn chance.
Velocity: Nothing to really say about him, except there has to have been a way to design his costume so that a teenager with unaugmented strength couldn't take him out with a single blow to the testicles.
Assault and Battery: The name theming feels a bit weird (what, if they got a third would their name be Coercion?) but whatever. I like the idea of a duo with complementary powers, I guess, but there's not really much else here.
Dragon: On the one hand she's in charge of the Birdcage and is friends with Armsmaster, but on the other hand she clearly hates the Birdcage for what it's made her complicit in, and maybe Armsmaster is good to have as a friend. Jury's out, unlike on Canary.
Wards
Gallant: The best way I can think to describe this guy is "blandly nice." It's like if "inoffensive" could be a personality trait. Glory Girl could do better than him, probably, but to be fair she could also do a lot worse.
Clockblocker: I think he's the funny one? Or at least the deliberately unserious one, which is the same thing. The first character confirmed to have developed entomophobia as a result of Skitter, probably not the last. Stopped a bomb from destroying the East Coast which feels like it should get more attention.
Vista: World's most powerful thirteen-year-old. Who deployed her to stop that bomb and fight those Nazis. I want names.
Kid Win: No sense of proportion on this kid, my god. Shooting a laser cannon meant to deal with threats that are theoretically rated higher than Lung into a bank filled with hostages? He's lucky nobody died.
Shadow Stalker: What the actual fuck is going on with her. Who hunts other human beings with broadhead arrows? That's for making someone bleed to death. If she was doing it to the fucking Nazis then that'd be fine, but no, it's Grue and Taylor we've either seen or heard about her getting rough with. Either the Protectorate knows she's a maniac and is letting it rock until she gets herself caught, or else they don't realize what she's doing in which case someone is not doing their job.
Browbeat: Absolute nonentity, to the point it's almost distracting. The description of the bank fight suggests he lost to Regent, which I think means that Regent got close enough to a guy with super strength to knock him out with a taser and didn't get his block knocked off. No wonder the Protectorate wants to trade him out, dude's got nothing going on.
PRT
Director Piggot: I don't like the organization she works for, because the vibes beyond the city level feel rancid, but for Piggot I mostly just sympathize with her. She's trying to corral a bunch of teenagers and adults, who all have some kind of horrific trauma shaping them and also giving them powers that are baseline as dangerous as a fucking gun, into something resembling a fully effective government agency, with no signs of support from the other cities or the higher-ups despite the fact that the literal fucking Nazis have her heroes outnumbered and have apparently had it that way for decades. Let this woman take a vacation or something.
New Wave
Glory Girl: Absolute nerd who seems to love being a superhero, and also making Nazis ragdoll in her spare time. I'd love to end it there, but unfortunately she's got some bad habits; girl desperately needs to kill the cop in her brain and get her impulsiveness under control, the fact that she ragdolled the Nazi on accident and threatened to pull favors in the judicial system to send a first-time offender (and Tattletale) into the Birdcage don't reflect great on her ability to keep a lock on things in high-stress situations.
Panacea: Pathetic girl who is clearly sitting on a pressure cooker of issues. I know what those all are but I'm not going to comment on any of it until we're actually there. For now it's mostly just a pity thing.
Azn Bad Boys
Lung: I was harsh on his characterization at first but I'll admit with time and context I'm not nearly as quick about that. He definitely still sucks, the guy literally murders his lieutenant as a matter of bruised pride and making his life more convenient. Also still cannot shake the feeling that he was basically idling in Brockton Bay for most of his career with the kind of power he has on tap.
Bakuda: She's a monster, but that also kind of oversimplifies things. She's clever, arrogant, grandstanding, and gleefully violent, even as she has the capacity to admire the architecture that another Tinker has crafted and to treat Lung as something resembling a friend. I don't think there's a world where she triggers and is, like, a good person, but I think this was one of the worse lives she could have wound up living. Also, y'know, she's dead.
Empire Eighty-Eight
Kaiser: Rancid smug piece of Nazi shit. Stupid too btw, why are you bothering with street-level robberies and extortion when you own a fucking pharmaceutical corporation? Why are you fighting out in the streets and meeting with other Nazi capes when you could be acting through proxies and bankrolling far-right parahuman cells across the country? Like I'm glad he isn't smart enough to think like that but fuck me.
Purity: Like, actually for real dumb as a bag of hammers. Kaiser barely has to try to wrap her back around his finger and she divorced him; Tattletale barely has to try to get her to back down and she thinks Tattletale exposed her identity to the public. Truly nothing in that skull of hers.
Hookwolf: Nazi capes fuck off
Stormtiger: Nazi capes fuck off
Cricket: Nazi capes fuck off
Rune: Nazi capes fuck off
Night: Nazi capes fuck off
Fog: Nazi capes fuck off
Wait does Coil's gang genuinely not have a name
Coil: Everything about this guy just pisses me the fuck off honestly. He presents himself as some kind of lesser evil, a firm but gentle hand that can guide all facets of the city to a brighter future, but he doesn't have the intelligence or vision to back any of it up; he displays nothing but brute force manipulation tactics involving bribery and blackmail, he's tunnel-visioned and cruel to the point that it ruins his own long-term plans, and before I forget everything about his thing with Dinah gives me fucking hives and I want to beat his skull in with my bare hands. I hope Taylor gets to kill him. Oh, or maybe Dinah.
Nameless sniper: Actively cooler and more competent than Coil.
Travelers
Trickster: genuinely cannot trust a man wearing a top hat in the year 2011, not even as a bit
Sundancer: what the fuck went so wrong with your life that your power is The Fucking Sun
Faultline and Co.
Faultline: Ironically not a super strong read off of her in terms of personality. Seems generally pretty cool going off of how she interacts with and leads her team. Very funny that she has a rivalry with Tattletale.
Newter: Little worried that he's selling his body secretions as a drug to other teenagers but if a parahuman only has one red flag that's pretty good actually
Gregor the Snail: This dude rocks, actually, love the vibes he gives off. Shame that people hate him for being fat and a mutant.
Labyrinth: Would like to see more of her when she's back in reality, otherwise not much to go off of. Cool power.
Other Parahumans
Scion: Fucking creepy
Marquis: probably Panacea's dad, calling that shot.
Paige McAbee: Justice For Paige McAbee.
Dinah Alcott: not really a character yet so much as a particularly horrifying MacGuffin but Jesus Christ what an awful fate
Uber and Leet: Gamers should be more oppressed. Also they beat the shit out of sex workers on a livestream and aren't considered serious enough threats to be consigned to the Birdcage, which feels pretty bad.
Heartbreaker: Haven't even met this guy and he sounds fucking awful. Please god somebody take him down.
Normal Humans
Emma Barnes: I need to understand what's wrong with her. Something happened that gave her the temperament and skillset of a CIA torture technician before freshman year of high school and she turned that onto her best friend for reasons totally unbeknownst to us.
Sophia Hess: I don't know I feel that the one bully who does the most physical harm and acts the most aggressive is the black one. Pretty bad I think. She's also clearly got something going on in her head but tbh that feels like it's going to be more straightforward than whatever is wrong with Emma.
Madison Clements: I feel like she's just here so that Taylor could be bullied without overusing the other two. What's your stake in this? Why do you give a shit? Does it matter? Probably not.
Mr. Gladly: I hated every teacher I ever knew who acted like this and I hate him even more for being utterly useless in protecting a student from blatant harassment. Fuck off.
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Worm Arc 12 thoughts:
Brian needs to watch the Barbie movie holy shit! (I understand the story takes place in 2011 and the movie doesn't exist there)
Just like, fuck get off Taylor's back. She is playing it too safe but also being too aggressive. Moving too fast but also not being aggressive enough! AHHHHHHHH!
Seriously, nearly every time Brian showed up in this arc I was yelling at him. Dude. Just back off.
Skitter fucking just, killing thousands of rats in a few minutes is absolutely terrifying. God I love her.
Hookwolf is a dick. I can't believe everyone else went along with him and gave the Travelers and the Undersiders shitty choices like that. I mean that's not true, I can believe it I'm just mad.
I legit forgot Imp existed until Tattletale mentioned leaving her at the meeting as a spy. I love how the way her power works combined with the writing style means she just disappears for the readers as well.
Loved seeing more of the Travelers and more Noelle. Excited to learn more about her (I don't have great feelings about her long term situation though).
Jack is such a fucking POSER oh my god!
He just. He thinks he's so cool. But he's not. Fucking "this is not an exit" reference and shit.
He is Tobey Maguire Spider-Man from Spider-Man 3. Just thinks he is the coolest shit. Everyone just has to accept it cause he got fancy knife powers.
Tattletale just fucking full confidence fucking with the Nine while standing right in front of them. She clearly knew it was high risk but she took it and she got results, spoiling Jacks plan with Cheri and shit.
That said, AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! MY BABY SOMEBODY HELP MY BABY! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (Ok she's not like, my baby, that's Taylor. But she's still my baby.)
LOOK AT MY FUCKING DAUGHTER! FUCKING LOOK AT HER! HOW MANY PEOPLE DID SHE SAVE FROM SHATTERBIRD? HUNDREDS? THOUSANDS? SHE IS AMAZING!
She fucking needs therapy though. Saves more people than anyone else could have and is mad because she didn't do enough. God damn Taylor love yourself!
Danny is fine. Besides, he had warning so any injures are basically his fault. Git gud Danny. (Ok look that's a little unfair, but he messed up pretty bad with raising my daughter so I'm allowed to be a little unfair to him I think.)
And look at my daughter again! She goes and organizes people to help the wounded. Takes charge. Gets a cool butch lady that might never show up again to help. I hope she does show up again though.
AND THEN FUCKING MANNEQUIN! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
After he showed up I said "I don't know how the fuck she's gonna do it, but my daughter is gonna kick your ass". And then like a few paragraphs later I read "I have no idea how the fuck I’m going to do it but I’m going to make you regret that." This made me both happy - fun to say something and have Taylor say almost the same thing - and worried - cause when I said I didn't know how she was going to do it I kinda hoped she had a plan.
But then she fucking does it! She kicks his ass. She steals his arm. SHE RIPS HIS HEAD OFF! GOD DAMN! THAT'S MY FUCKING KID!
I do think she should hire the buff burly guy who helped her rip Mannequin's head off. He clearly has motivation and would be loyal. And maybe I want to see him more. For reasons.
But anyway she fucking wrecks Mannequin, makes him look like he lost a fight with a paint store. Just fucking clowned on him. She is so good.
Then the next day Brian comes in and fully focuses on how stupid it was to fight Mannequin, not really praising that she won or asking if she needs medical help. God damn bud!
But I loved how a fuck ton of people were like "Oh shit she beat Mannequin! I want to work for her." She's going to be so fucking famous soon.
Interlude 1 - Jack is a poser again. Sucks to be the Merchants, can't say I'll miss them. Jack trying to sound all clever with his carrot and sticks thing, but most of what he lists for the other Nine is really obvious. And he misses some stuff as well. Poser. I could lead the Nine better than him (not that I would lead the Nine, just that if I did I would be better than Jack).
Interlude 2 - God damn this is a doozy. Shit ton of Cauldron lore. Battery backstory. Assault backstory. I made a "now kith" joke when they fought for the very first time cause I didn't realize who they were yet. It was supposed to be a joke. I did not want them to end up together. They should not be together. Legend should not have allowed Assault to be on Battery's team. He was a bit of a dick for that. So much Cauldron lore though. I can't put it all here.
#Worm#Worm Web Serial#Parahumans#Cairavende reads Worm#The Slaughterhouse Nine#Taylor Hebert#Lisa Wilbourn#Mannequin getting clowned on#Jack Slash is a poser#Oh right I got to actually “see” Crawler for the first time. He's fucking terrifying.#Taylor you need to love yourself!#You are doing so fucking much and you keep saying it's not enough and act like you are failing cause you aren't a omnipotent god being!#Just breath!#You are so amazing#Please just let yourself feel amazing for 5 minutes. Please!#(Narrator voice: She will not.)
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spacebattles elder: your main character is greg veder and his power is to be a gamer. you've posted fanfiction in the worm section of SB before?
him: no this is the first time
spacebattles elder: you had him rapidly accumulate the skills needed to systematically destroy and/or seduce taylor hebert's bullies on her behalf. who taught you this?
him: it seemed the right way
spacebattles elder: (thinking) he shall know your ways as if born to them
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