#and you can be a true Loki fan without liking everything being done

[wrenhyperfixates]

Sorry, I just needed a second to unload.

I haven’t liked the Loki show so far. I love Loki, and I love Tom, but it’s just not been something I’m enjoying. I guess I’m more interested in the Shakespearean tragic hero-thing they had going in the first two Thor movies than the tone they have in the show. Like, it’s just not something I’m into, and if it wasn’t Loki I probably wouldn’t be watching it at all. But I feel really, really awful saying that. I want to like it so badly. I was genuinely excited for the show, I really wanted to like it. And it sucks because every time I come on Tumblr, my dash is filled with people talking about how sick they are of people who don’t like the show and how they’re unfollowing everyone who posts something negative about it and how “I’d like to see them write a better show” and things of that sort and it just makes me feel horrible. These aren’t just random blogs, these are mutuals and people I consider friends. And I understand where they’re coming from, but it makes me feel like I’m a horrible person for not liking the show (even though I’m trying SO HARD to make myself like it- it’s not like I’m going in wanting to hate it. I want to see what everyone else is seeing and enjoy it with them). I realize this sounds really stupid, but it just feels like everyone’s telling me that they don’t want me here, to the point that I’ve been legitimately depressed the past two weeks. I haven’t been coming on tumblr much because of it and it’s been really, really lonely because this used to be where I’d go when real life got too difficult. But I don’t want to unfollow anyone— like I said, a lot of these people are my friends, and the whole reason I used to enjoy coming on to Tumblr in the first place (I’m actually crying over this right now holy shit I’m pathetic) It’s like the show was a test for true fans and I failed and now nobody wants me. I just feel really alone and I don’t know what to do.

Oh nonny, it’s not pathetic. You are allowed to feel how you feel!!!!!! *biggest hugs* Long, un-edited reply is under the cut

I agree, some people sound kind of harsh when talking about the opposing side and there’s a lot of negativity in the fandom right now. And neither side is right; I see plenty of people from both perspectives not willing to discuss. Sometimes a person picks up on one sentence from an analysis that’s worded in a way that makes them mad and they harp on that. Other times it’s because a review is entirely negative and entirely positive, and it can be hard when a side is making no concessions. In fact, part of a good persuasive writing piece is concessions.

I do think that’s the heart of the issue though: People who think way A feel that people who think way B are too agressive about it. Then that of course leads to bold statements like “I block anyone with a negative opinions because they’re rude” with the often implied “and they don’t agree with me.” And yes, sometimes it does create a bad experience, especially when someone won’t compromise at all. And yes, you’re allowed to block whoever you want. But no one should be bullying each other for having opinions!!!!

And nonny, you don’t have to like the show! Art speaks to everyone in different ways—and sometimes not at all!! Even if it’s a character or show you generally like, you don’t have to agree with everything that’s being done.

Perhaps, with your friends at least, you could ask for things to be tagged with “Loki series positivity” and then block that tag. I don’t see any reason why a friend wouldn’t do that for you. Perhaps it’d be beneficial to find some more like-minded blogs too to fill up your dash. Maybe you could even jump into analysis yourself. I do objective analysis with a positive spin on things that are up for interpretation, though I do still try to give credit to valid points of a negative argument. I see no reason why you shouldn’t be allowed to do the same. The whole point of a concession is to build your ethos and make your audience more open to what you have to say. Like I said, I think a lot of the issue is how hard both sides attack an issue.

Now while you are under no obligation to like the show, I thought perhaps some of these things could help you find more enjoyment or hope in it? If that wouldn’t make you feel better, feel free to skip.

The show isn’t over yet!! They may do something you really like!

Loki’s hair looks really soft!!

New fanfiction will be produced!

This is a different Loki, affected by different things. You don’t have to love him in the same way!! Or at all. But if you want to like him, maybe find some traits that you like and focus on those—you can have a different relationship with this Loki.

No one can take your Loki from you!!! He’ll always be in your heart.

I don’t think I have much else to offer, other than this blog as a safe space. I’m totally open to discussion and differing opinions! The world is boring if we all agree all the time.

And come on guys, it’s fiction. We all vibed with different opinions and headcanons before, so why stop now? I know it sucks when someone makes you feel attacked, but try not to make another person feel attacked in turn. And don’t make anyone scared to speak their mind; that’s not really fair. Bottom line? It’s fiction; stop making each other see bad for their thoughts on it.

[bedlamsbard]

1, 21, 13 for the choose violence

1. the character everyone gets wrong

STEVE ROGERS. There's an overwhelming tendency to smooth down Steve's sharp edges and generally make him softer, sweeter, gentler, more innocent. This man is all sharp edges and while he's not always going to push himself past his limits, when he's holding himself back from them you can tell and it's -- it's very weird to see. It's most common in the ensemble films, like Avengers and AoU and Endgame, there's this air of like...restraint? And then the sharp edges come out when he gets too tired of holding himself back. One of my favorite Steve scenes is in CATWS, during the fight with Batroc, because it's a perfect kernel of Steve characterization. Not just the on va voir part, but the actual fight itself.

But also, like, Steve is mad ALL THE TIME. He's probably the angriest character in the MCU, Bruce Banner included. It's true from CATFA onwards. (I talk about his anger in CATFA a little in Horizon, so I won't reiterate it here.) I see Steve as someone who's always struggled with depression, and his anger is part of that, because he does have those lightning flickers from being functionally depressed and going through the motions to suddenly being blindingly, furiously angry -- Avengers is the most obvious example of this, but it turns up in AoU, CATWS, and CACW too; I don't think he ever hits angry in Endgame, though. He's functionally depressed but there's nothing in that film that kicks him into the anger side of it. (Caveat: my specific brainweasels function this way, which is why I read Steve's as doing so.)

also, uh, here is probably the really controversial read on Steve: there's a tendency in this fandom to give credit for anything and everything Steve does to his feelings about Bucky, and I don't...think that's true. yes, Steve cares a lot about Bucky, but it's a huge disservice to his character to say that Steve only went to Krausberg for Bucky or that he only crashed the Valkyrie because of Bucky or that he only destroyed SHIELD/HYDRA for Bucky or that he was only opposed to the Accords because of Bucky. sure, Bucky is a factor in most of those situations, but Steve would have done all of them anyway. give the man some credit for his own agency!

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

outside of this side of the fandom, probably Endgame, but that's a given. on the Tumblr/AO3 side of the fandom I don't think that's true at all lol.

in this side of the fandom -- uh, Thor, the first one. I've been going through Phase 1 lately and the first Thor film, which a lot of Thor and Loki fans I know feel very strongly about, is a chopped up mess -- I think it's the only film in the MCU that really, really suffers from having its deleted scenes removed, but even with those it's trying to do too many things at the same time and it can't give any of them enough space, plus its Asgard design is a hot mess -- TDW and later Ragnarok had to essentially bend over backwards to fix it. It does a lot of things very well, but it also does a lot of things not well at all. The Thor films are all inconsistent across the board, though; it's the weakest line in the entire MCU.

13. worst blorboficiation

I have THREE answers for this, all of which are bad in their specific ways, but for absolute worst: Tony Stark. I like Tony! He actually is a character I like! He is also super fucked up in ways that Tony fans just ignore or soften or whatever; the weirdest part to me is the desire to make Tony a ~soft dad to Peter, Shuri, Loki, Nebula...Morgan sometimes. This man took a fifteen-year-old kid to Germany to fight Captain America without telling him why, y'all. what about that says "good father figure" to you. he's also brutal to Bruce in IW.

the other two answers are Peggy Carter and Loki, which are pretty self-evident. I think I'd also actually put Natasha on this list, too, because she's another character who people really want to soften.

[lucianalight]

A question about the comics because I haven't read them but is Loki really powerful in them or not? I see many people say he's not and that the likes of Amora, Wanda and Doctor Strange could easily beat him and that the show is staying true to his powers in the comics. I also see people who say that he is.

Since the loki show I've seen some of the pro-series fans have spread ridiculous lies about coimcs including Loki being in love with a version of himself, him not being genderfluid and the existence of an alligator Loki in comics. But this one is the most hilarious lie of them all. Like the nerves of these people saying sth that anyone even a little familiar with comics would instantly know it's a straight out lie. Smh.

Anyway, yes Loki is super powerful in comics and I honestly don't even know where to start listing everything he has done. But let's start from small things, shall we? Like that time he disappeared a magical bar with only a thought, or when he sent Mjolnir to Valhalla to bring Thor back from it. He once stopped an atomic bomb just to amuse himself. He is nearly as powerful as Dormammu. He easily time traveled from future to change the past. You can find a list of some of the other things he has done in @worstloki 's post here including his strength, his powerful illusions, defeating Strange and killing Nightmare easily, and my favorite when Loki takes all the universe and preserves it to save it from the gods of who sit above and feed on stories, and then frees it later.

Like you can't top that.

Speaking of Strange, not only Loki defeated him easily in older comics, in the recent ones Strange goes against Loki again and even with help he can't defeat Loki. While Loki uses powerful magic and spells that Strange was unable to do, like freeing a spell from someone's soul without killing them, and returning all the magic of Earth to their rightful owners.

Loki is considered one of the big guns when it comes to power and magic, in and out universe. Here are the power grids of the characters you mentioned taken from Marvel's official site.

While Loki matches them in magical ability, he has has the advantage of thousands years of knowledge and practice, higher strength, speed, durability and intelligence over them. They would have a really hard time defeating Loki. (Although I have to say I have no idea why Amora's intelligence and fighting skills are rated higher than Loki. Loki has mostly surpassed her in them as far as I remember).

Finally let's see the list of Loki's powers and abilities from both of his wiki pages(Classic Loki and Ikol) with my comments in parenthesis.

Powers

Superhuman Strength: Loki, without the aid of anything, through his own biology, possesses superhuman strength that is substantially superior to that of an average Asgardian male. (meaning humans can't beat him up and throwing him around like he is a ragdoll) He possesses sufficient physical strength to lift up to 50 tons.(that's about 45359 kg, the wight of an adult whale, two trucks or half a house) It is possible, however, that he can further increase his strength through mystical enchantment on a temporary basis. He once even managed to destroy a large building with a single punch.

Superhumanly Dense Tissue: Like Asgardians, Loki's bodily tissues have roughly 3 times the density of the same tissues in a human being. While he has the looks and physical proportions of a much smaller person, the increased density of his body actually makes him several hundred pounds heavier than he appears. This increased density also contributes to his superhuman strength to a limited degree.(again that makes tv show Loki in comparison extremely weak, as humans can throw him around easily. He is even weaker than his OG appearance in Thor 1 and Avengers. Loki could go toe to toe with Thor easily and Cap had a hard time fighting him)

Superhuman Durability: The tissues of Loki's body are superhumanly durable and are roughly equal to those possessed by the average Asgardian male. However, at times, Loki had imbued himself with magical abilities that enable him to withstand injuries that would prove fatal to another Asgardian if hit. He is able to withstand high caliber bullets, falls from great heights, powerful impact forces, exposure to temperature extremes and powerful energy blasts without being injured. He has proved in past to be durable enough to withstand energy blast's from Mandarin's Rings and several blows from Spider-Man without so much as a blink.

Regenerative Healing Factor: Like all Asgardians, Loki, although he is inhumanly durable, at least by human standards, can still obtain injury, also like all Asgardians, his metabolism enables him to rapidly regenerate damaged tissue much faster and more extensively than a human being. However, through the use of his sorcery, Loki's ability to heal himself is far above that of other Asgardians. His magical energies are so imbued into his body that he can reattach severed limbs and, while still a male, even reattached his own head at least once.

Superhuman Stamina: Loki's Frost Giant metabolism grants him superhuman levels of physical stamina in practically all activities. He can exert himself at peak capacity for about 24 hours before fatigue begins to impair him. However, much like his physical strength and durability, Loki can temporarily augment his stamina through magical means.(that means he wouldn't be tired of a long walk and complain about it like he did in the show because He Is A SpOiLeD pRiNcE)

Superhuman Longevity: Like all Asgardians, Loki ages at a far slower rate than humans. However, unlike some other god pantheons like the Olympians, who stop ageing completely at a certain point, Loki isn't fully immune to aging. Although he has recently been "reborn", he still has his memories of his previous life. While he is several millennia old, at least, he has the appearance and vitality of a young Asgardian man in his physical prime. Loki is immune to the effects of all known Earthly diseases and infections.

Sorcery: Loki has extensive training in sorcery, giving him the ability to generate and control a great quantity of mystical abilities for a variety of purposes. His magical abilities are equal to Karnilla, the most skilled sorceress in the Asgardian dimension. He has also once used his magic to turn Invisible Woman's psionic shields against herself, and has been able to break free of Celestial technology in possession of Apocalypse. Loki has also imbued himself with magical abilities that enable him to withstand injuries that would prove fatal to another Asgardian, such as being beheaded by Balder. He has also been shown to be immune to the Controller's control disk, the mental influence of the Voice, and the power-sapping abilities of Rogue. Loki’s power has been said by the Silver Surfer during their early encounters as sufficient to “decimate a planet”. Telekinesis: Being a telekinetic, Loki can influence the movement of objects and people with his mind, and as such, this power proves to be devastating and chaotic in nature. Mystical Energy Blasts: Loki can project powerful beams of concussive force. Mystical Force Fields: He can generate highly durable force fields. Illusion Casting: His illusion casting can fool cities, and powerful entities such as Surtur. Teleportation: Loki has the ability to teleport himself or others across dimensions. Psionics: Loki has demonstrated powerful psionic capabilities, the full limits of which aren't known. He has demonstrated the ability to project his thoughts telepathically across great distances, even across dimensional barriers, as well as potent hypnotic capabilities. He is able to communicate with beings telepathically, though his ability to do so is greater with beings that serve him. Shapeshifting: Like a number of gods or goddesses, Loki possesses highly developed shapeshifting capabilities. He is able to adopt almost any form imaginable whether it be animals, other humanoid beings, or even inanimate objects. The thought has been raised that his current form is merely a shape Loki has decided to remain in. Despite this being the a well-known ability of Loki's, he has commented to himself, as he struggled to escape from Dormammu's mystic cage, that this is his "most soul-draining" power, apparently meaning it is more taxing than his other magical abilities. He has become such animals such as a snake, eagle, mouse and bee, gaining the basic natural abilities inherent in each form. While he can take on the likeness of another god, giant or human, he will not necessarily gain the special physical or mental powers of the being he imitates. Transmutation: Loki can also transform external objects into other forms and substances by magic; for instance, he has turned clouds into dragons and even changed cars into ice cream. He has also once cursed Deadpool with an indestructible Tom Cruise's face, which proved to be powerful enough to withstand being run over by a train and direct contact with a nuclear rod without receiving a single scratch. Physical Enhancement: His magic can be used to further enhance or augment his physical diagram, like his speed, strength, and stamina, but only temporarily. Enchantment: Loki can also bring inanimate objects to life and mystically imbue objects or beings with specific but temporary powers, and bestow superhuman attributes to living beings or inanimate objects. For example, Loki has augmented the might of human criminals like Cobra and Sandu. These magical effects remain only for as long as he maintains the spell that created them.

(Instead in the show Loki is shown with one percent of his magical abilities listed above. He somehow forgets to wear his illusion, messes up his spells and struggles to do enchantment, an ability OG Loki already had)

Abilities

Genius Intelligence: Loki has a genius level intellect and possesses a great deal of knowledge of the mystic arts. He is also extremely cunning and skilled, an expert battle strategist, and highly skilled and charismatic manipulator, which is evident by the ease how Loki repeatedly succeeded to regain the trust of his fellow Asgardians, despite his numerous crimes. Loki possesses a brilliant intellect, with some knowledge of technology, as illustrated by the time when he created a machine to amplify Iceman's powers, and when he attached devices to the Twilight sword to tap into its powers. Loki is an expert manipulator and schemer, frequently using pawns in his plans.

(In the show Loki is shown utterly incompetent and easy to predict and none of his plans work)

Allspeak: Thanks to the Allspeak Loki can communicate in all of the languages of the Nine Realms, Earth's dialects, and various alien languages. (So he should have been able to understand people from Mongolia)

Skilled Combatant: Loki is a formidable combatant in his own right, particularly as a swordsman or in the use of his various energy manipulative powers in combat situations, enough to hold his own against Thor on numerous occasions and beat the Disir into (literal) submission. He is sometimes armed with a sword, a whip, or a three-pronged spear and has used magical items (such as the Norn Stones) to enhance his powers. (Loki's fighting skills are incredibly nerfed in the show in comparison to OG Loki as he nearly always fails in the show)

Hacking Skills: Loki was shown hacking the most top secured database of Avengers. He also hacked into the casino security system, using the identity of "Trixie the Hacker."

He is also a skilled cook :D

If you're interested in comics, here's Loki reading order for more information on him.

So considering all the things I mentioned, did the show stayed true to Loki's powers and abilities in comics? The answer is a big fat no.

[lokigodofaces]

(tags via @lokiinmediasideblog )

First off, thanks so much guys! I genuinely love hearing about how people reacted when something first came out, I think it's fun to hear. But also y'all brought up a lot of stuff that really has me thinking about the state of MCU fans.

Yes, TDW had problems. Malekith was...meh. And Jane didn't do nearly as much as in the first one. But I would say that those aren't uncommon criticisms for Marvel. I mean, let's take Iron Man 3 for example. I liked it! But the villain was...not the best. Probably pissed off comic readers since the Mandarin was a big deal in the comics and...was not that in Iron Man 3. Which was resolved by Shang-chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings but that's like a decade or so later, and obviously no one knew that at the time. And it's been a while since I've seen it but you might be able to make similar criticisms with Pepper? Don't quote me on that it's been a while. But my point is that lots of Marvel villains suck, and can be criticized many other ways. But TDW gets singled out. No one says Iron Man 3 is the worst. Lots of people say it's not as good as others (which is true) but no one writes off its existence. Listen, I'm not afraid to say parts of TDW suck but I'm also willing to talk about the good parts.

Loki definitely was the best part. I used to joke in high school that TDW wasn't a Thor movie, it was a Loki movie and Marvel was in denial. All his scenes are top notch. But I wouldn't say everything else was terrible as some people would. Thor and Jane had some good scenes (together, separate, and with others) in particular, but pretty much every character has at least one solid scene or line. But it makes sense that this movie was mainly popular in the Loki fandom. And dear heavens, the SDCC announcement. Listen, the fact that me, someone who was 9 or 10 when that happened and was not there when it happened and had age-appropriate limited Internet access and as such wasn't on Tumblr or anything like it, knows about the SDCC announcement and could probably quote at least half of the lines says something about how well that was done. It also shows that Marvel knew Loki was popular, and they weren't ashamed of it. But yes, one of the best SDCC announcements, if not the best, in possibly any fandom.

Which also means there was the division between Loki fans, casual fans, and dudebros from what y'all have said. Y'all know what a Loki fan is. Casual fan probably liked the Loki scenes but wasn't overly attached to the movie. Then there's the dudebros which probably liked Loki's scenes but thought that everyone that loved the movie was just horny for Tom Hiddleston or something like that (which yeah never going to stop being annoyed at people that say Loki fans only are horny for Tom).

But that's very different than what you have today. Okay, first off the Loki fans are split by the 2011-2013 group and the 2017+ group. Which is an oversimplification because there's Ragnarok fans that hate the series and people that like all of it and people that only like the series or whatever, but to make things easier there's the two groups. Then there's the dudebros who are overwhelmingly in favor of 2017+ Thor and Loki content, and constantly trash talk 2011-2013 era. Then there's the casual fans who just casually watched the whole saga. And honestly, if your plan is to watch a movie without really putting any work into it, you're going to enjoy Ragnarok more than you will TDW.

And there's the subgroup of a casual fans that are the new fans. I've said it before, but I was a freshman in high school when Infinity War came out, and it was a big deal. Like, the only reason why anyone that year talking AP Human Geography knew who Thomas Malthus was is because he had concerns over overpopulation and doesn't that sound familiar? Every single day walking into class there was at least one person who had written "Thomas Malthus is Thanos" on the board. We were all a bit insane. But there were tons of people who hadn't really watched anything from Marvel that got sucked in and wanted to watch Infinity War and were trying to catch up on all of the movies. Which, yeah, in late 2017 or early 2018 that's an intimidating task. And I understand the desire to skip an "unnecessary movie." Well, problem is that people would ask their friends what to watch. This is post-Ragnarok by this point. But everyone giving the advice would recommend skipping TDW! Because "it isn't very good and Ragnarok will tell you everything you need to know." Honestly, this is because we were all 14 and had just seen Ragnarok and it was still fresh and everyone thought it was hilarious. Whereas none of us were really old enough to care about TDW when it came out and had probably seen it once or twice. But still! I can't imagine telling someone to skip a movie with an Infinity Stone! But think about it. How many new casual fans have never seen TDW? How many new Loki fans? How many new dudebros? All because when Ragnarok came out it outshined TDW.

And it's been years but no one has realized that Ragnarok isn't the brilliant film they think it is. Instead they're trash talking a better movie. Weird as frick how little time it took for people to just change what they think with no logical reasoning. And now they treat Ragnarok like something that "fixed" a problem instead of going completely against established canon.

Sorry for repeating what y'all said pretty much, kind of helped me process stuff to write crap down. But thank you guys for the information! Everything you guys said made total sense. Now I'm mad about how Ragnarok changed everyone's perceptions.

Okay, something I'm genuinely curious about: what was the reaction to Thor: The Dark World when it came out?

I was like 10 when that movie came out and young enough to not be in fandom I guess I could say. I didn't start getting into the MCU fandom until around when Captain America: Civil War came out. Which I know is only 3 years apart but I feel like things change so fast. When I started rewatching movies I had seen and catching up on the ones I missed I didn't understand why Thor: The Dark World got so much hate. It's almost a decade later (and I'm realizing now as I write I've been in this fandom for 9 years...wow) and I still don't comprehend why people hate TDW so much. I mean it's not the best Marvel movie by any means but it isn't the worst.

And now that we have Ragnarok a lot of fans compare the two and say Ragnarok was the best of the trilogy and even say TDW is unnecessary to watch (uh TDW heavily features an Infinity Stone so...kinda important even for a casual MCU fan).

So I'm wondering what the reaction was when it came out. Did people really dislike it that much when it came out? Has Ragnarok made the dislike stronger/more apparent?

Tagging @supervillainarchaeologist because I know you're old enough to remember this better and have been in the fandom for a long time. But if anyone else older than me sees this please let me know your thoughts.

[annes-andromeda]

sorry if u already made a post on this, just found ur acc but could u explain more about ur thoughts on jane foster? i’m so curious bc i always thought she was a bit of a bland mary sue and kind of a damsel in distress bc early marvel didn’t know how to write a strong (in the sense of well developed not like girlboss) female character. and i actually was excited for thor 4 to get better characterization for her! i don’t remember rag that well to say how she was in it besides the flashback??? time travel??? thing??? but i do remember seeing dark world and liking everything but her character so i’m v curious on ur pov

Hi👋🏼 I actually really like Jane and she’s one of the my favs! That’s probably a really unpopular opinion, I know, but it’s true.

I’ve always been a lover of astronomy and seeing Jane be so passionate about it made me very drawn to her. Not to mention, it was refreshing to see a female character that wasn’t just a bunch of toxic male traits mixed together under the guise of “feminism”

She actually isn’t a damsel in distress or a Mary Sue tbh???

Like, a Mary Sue would be a female character that is adored by everyone, made the center of everyone’s universe, and never has to struggle for anything. And Jane isn’t that?? Sure she’s the love interest of Thor, but she does struggle like when SHIELD takes her research in the first and when she has the Aether in her.

And also she’s not that much of damsel. She literally slapped Thor and punched Loki without a second though, was ready to throw hands with SHIELD for taking her stuff, and fought off Malekith with science! And the fact that she was able to hold onto the Aether for so long was impressive to say the least.

Just cause she doesn’t fight physically like every other female character doesn’t automatically mean she’s a damsel

I’m not surprised you don’t remember Jane in Gagnarok cause well… she wasn’t in it. Mainly cause of the director. Lots of fans wanna say it’s cause Portman didn’t wanna come back, but in reality, Marvel never called her back.

And it’s not like TW wanted her back. He literally called Jane and other female characters from the Thor franchise “boring and pretty”, with Valkyrie being more on Thors level cause she’s “one of the guys”.

It’s that type of fake feminism bullshit of “women can only be strong when they act more like men” It’s why they’re doing the whole Lady Thor thing; not because of the story in general, but so Jane can stop being “boring”

To “fix” her

And to see so many fans eating it up, acting like they’ve always loved Jane just irks me to no end and further solidifies the fact that mcu fans only care about female characters when they kick ass

So while Jane looks beautiful in the new film, I’ll not watch it even for her cause I just know that TW will make her another girlboss like he’s done with Valkyrie and people will call him “progressive” or something.

But anyways, thanks for the ask! Hope this answered your question😁👌🏼

[jazzythursday]

I’m about to go into another very long Marvel rant/dissertation here— mostly for myself— that I started writing soon after the Loki Series finale so please feel free to just scroll past this, because honestly I think I kinda overdid this one. It’s jaded and overly dramatic even for me. You have been warned:

The last 4 Marvel movies/shows I’ve watched left me feeling so completely depressed and unsatisfied and hopeless about the future of popular entertainment and story telling in general, and I know I’m not the only one. The fact that fans are going into these experiences hoping for a good story and character arcs that make sense with prior characterization, and leaving feeling… empty is a very clear sign that their approach leaves a lot to be desired.

Infinite War had some valid reasons to end the way it did, because by having our heroes fall so much harder than ever before, it built up the tension and high stakes for the next film. But what does that do when Endgame leaves us feeling even worse? I wanted them to triumph and finally come together to be better. I expected there would be losses of course but not enough to negate the wins. Instead the characters were subjugated for plot, characterization was watered down, and we lost all the original Avengers besides Thor and Bruce (who was no longer even Bruce). Peter loses Tony, Thor’s previous loses are permanent, and so many other things that, in spite of loving a lot of the movie, mean I haven’t been able to stop being sad about it for literal years. And the amount of thoughtless destruction that seems to be at an all time high when it comes to character’s lives and disregard for properly exploring emotions just doesn’t leave much to be expected at this point. Far From Home was good. It was. I liked it a lot. The acting was wonderful and there were some really interesting themes they grappled with but I still walked out of the theater feeling like there was still so much detachment surrounding a lot of the decisions, a little too much thoughtlessness (that, and the gaping hole of Tony). I’m not going to talk about WandaVistion but I’ll say that I was invested until the start of episode 8, and finished episode 9 feeling drained and tired and sad.

Then we get to Loki, a show which has plagued far too many of my thoughts since I started watching it, and has crushed my hopes for ever truly being happy with a Marvel project ever again. Loki is a character who’s ostensibly felt alienated and unseen for most of his life, and that’s before finding out about his parentage. His first movie ends with his suicide attempt and subsequent fall into the void. His second takes place a year into working under Thanos and ends with him being taken away in chains (yes I know he’s the villain he’s done bad things etc. etc. but for the purposes of this I’m only focusing on his pov). Then his third involves his solitary imprisonment, his mother’s death, and his near-death (considering the likelihood that he was actually stabbed), although it does end on a lighter note with his acquisition of the throne. Then we get his redemption and reconciliation with Thor in Ragnarok, immediately followed by the utter tragedy that is the first 10 minutes of Infinite War, which I don’t think I need to explain.

So what I suppose I’m saying here (very very inadequately) is that after all of that, I can’t believe the proper story to tell in his first chance at being a main protagonist was one where he’s constantly degraded and beat up, convicted of things he didn’t actually do, given no focus on backstory or implied/established motivations, and labeled as a clown and a narcissist! His powers are weakened, he displays almost no recognizable mannerisms or competence, he’s held to a higher moral standard than every other character, shown no respect, and ultimately loses EVEN MORE. We’ve seen him lose and lose and lose and lose again. We’ve seen him die THREE TIMES, we’ve seen him redeemed TWICE. So who in their right mind thinks that the most compelling story to tell after all of that was to see him LOSE AGAIN?! And not only lose, but lose without any real triumph, dignity, or acknowledgment beforehand. Death to the author aside, reading the utter nonsense the team behind it have spread, it’s so clear that it wasn’t made in good faith. Whether in ignorance or true maliciousness, they just don’t care. They didn’t research. They didn’t try and see things from his point of view. They didn’t truly sympathize with him as a person while writing. They didn’t understand. And they truly, truly wanted him to fail.

I’m tired of feeling hopeless at the end of everything, of leaving the theater or turning off the TV wondering why I even bothered, why I even care when I’m just being strung along with as little consideration as an audience as my favorite characters. I wanted to actively see him strive to be better, not just be told he could be. I wanted to see him triumph over his demons, not forget them. I wanted to see him be the “master of magic” that every other damn movie has alluded to, and to use his powers effectively. I wanted him to be powerful. I wanted him to, if not win, then win on a personal level at least. I wanted to see him take agency in his life and PROVE EVERYONE WRONG! And, though it’s now bafflingly controversial to say, I wanted it to be told by an experienced and competent writing and directing team that knew and understood his character and were passionate about telling his story.

I would ascribe to the notion of “don’t like it, don’t watch” if I could but I care to much to not be affected by this obvious decline in quality and awareness. And I’m a relatively recent fan. I haven’t been waiting for Loki to get his moment in the sun for 10 years. I’M NEW HERE, and my heart breaks so much for fans of the original movies who have lost their love of Marvel or Loki because of the way it’s been handled. No one should fall further than they can climb up from, and I’m tired of watching loss after loss and never getting the release of gaining enough of it back. What’s the point of caring about these characters if the writers won’t? Of investing in a connecting cinematic universe if it lacks continuity? Of looking for clues and foreshadowing when there isn’t any and the only twists are random and pander to shock value? The way these pieces/characters are being created and interpreted is reductive and incompetent, and for once I’d like to watch something that feels crafted, inspiring, and gratifying to see to the end.

If some people like the Loki show we got, I have no argument against that, because my own opinion is just as subjective as theirs. Though, I’d like to think that if what I want is for the show to be better out of love for the same character, then what they enjoyed from the show can coexist in that. If anyone’s actually read up to this point, I have to admit I’ve forgotten mine. Mostly I just wanted to express my frustrations over how unfeeling and stale most entertainment, specifically from Marvel as of late, has been.

TL;DR: I care too much, waaay too much, Marvel cares too little, Disney doesn’t care at all, and I don’t know how to accept that.

[madam-o]

Loki post-TDW: Not OOC, just changed

Fandom life can feel kinda lonely for a Loki fan who can mentally connect the Loki from Ragnarok with the pre-Ragnarok one without too much trouble, and who doesn't expect the MCU to treat him like an unfairly maligned hero. There's very few characters in the MCU who don't get their share of being knocked around by the narrative, but Loki fans are especially sensitive to any perceived slight to his character. There are negative things about him that people just don't see because Tom Hiddleston's charisma and love for Loki leak through his acting so much.

I'm not saying Loki is evil, I'm saying that Loki isn't just one thing. The only consistent thing about him is change. He's never the exact same character twice. There's a huge evolution in his personality between Thor 1 and IW. He also turns on a dime based on his current motivation. This is consistent with his depiction in the comics as well as the mythology.

The lighthearted tone of Ragnarok is jarring after the first two Thor movies and I won't claim it isn't. But other than just being a less serious take on Thor and Loki, how do the changes in Loki after TDW make sense, you may ask. Like:

Why is he so relaxed in Ragnarok? Because he's finally over the being king thing. He achieved his goal and now he's bored. As he said, he didn't actually want the job, he just wanted Thor not to be chosen for it over him. Being a king is too much tedious work. There's no freedom in that lifestyle. Besides, being worshipped as Odin isn't as fun as being worshipped as Loki, or even being reviled as Loki. It's much more satisfying to rage against the Man than to be the Man. I think this version of his personality is closer to what he was like before Thor was formally set to take over the throne and he became super bitter about it.

Why is Loki more funny than menacing in Ragnarok?First off, Loki has always been funny, it's just that his anger and intensity are the most noticeable things about him. But he's not angry anymore and he's had time to heal a bit from everything. He's finally in a better headspace. He's learned to accept himself more. He no longer needs to be so tightly controlled. He's discovering how good it feels to embrace his "true nature" (though tbh I don't think he actually knows what that might be). It's called growing up.

There's also other things that can explain the change in his character, but until any of my theories are confirmed, I won't go into it. But ever since seeing IW, I think about them all the time.

This is a more general question but I think it's important to address: Why is Loki always being beat up and put in chains? Because he's crazy dangerous and compelled to cause trouble, often with violence, if he's not contained. Sometimes you have to put him in a box as a writer just so he won't run amok all over the plot. And he's comically knocked around so often in the script because the audience loves him but as a partially villainous character, he has to pay for his arrogance and amoral choices somehow. All the bad stuff he's done IS at the very least partially his own fault, and we can't just let him off the hook for it without him actively working toward that redemption. Like when he f*cks up by choosing to betray Thor yet again, he pays for it by his brother finally anticipating his move and turning it on him.

Thor telling Loki that he doesn't seem to want to change but could be so much more than what he chooses to be is important. Everything from the last part of Ragnarok through Endgame feels like foreshadowing for the Loki series, and it will take some convincing for me to believe that Feige hasn't been planning all of this for years. The setting of the TVA will allow Loki to literally study his own life and the potential paths he's headed down and gain a perspective on himself that he just couldn't allow himself to see before.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Devil on Your Team | Part 1

Word Count: 1.9k

Genre: angst, smut

A\N: Asgard AU where Felix is Loki, Chan is Thor, and OC/reader is Lady Sif

Gif credit @915archive

“Will you join us this time, brother?”

Loki hesitates at Thor’s question. He was never good at the sort of thing that his friends enjoyed so, which made him a target for ridicule across the realm. What kind of man, a prince nonetheless, was so weak and fearful? Not a real man, that’s what.

Thor didn’t make it easier for him. Being the picture of the formidable, valiant warrior, he made Felix’s shortcomings all the more stark. Loki was all too aware of the comparisons people liked to make between them--they would fawn over how Thor was so brave, so strong, so much like the king that his frail little brother could never be. They would laugh and thank their stars that the fates were kind enough to have Thor be the old king’s first born and not his pitiful little brother.

Even Thor, who claimed to love him most in the world, was embarrassed of him. He always tried to egg him on and make him engage in “manlier” endeavors and forsake his witchcraft, forcing him along on his reckless adventures with his gang of hooligans so he would toughen up. How can he say that he loves him when he saw him as something that needed to be fixed? Thor didn’t love him. He pitied him.

Only you gazed upon him and accepted him for who he was. You knew too well what it felt like to be underestimated and ridiculed for being different, for daring to not adhere to their millenia-old customs of what makes one a good warrior or a proper lady. Every time he would hide and cry, you would find him and remind him that underestimating him will be their downfall, that true weakness is stupidity and arrogance and they had that in excess.

And there you were, coming to his defense once more.

“Shut up, you big oaf. Loki doesn’t care for our silly games.”

“Why not? All he has to do is sit back and not get in the way of our fair maiden and he should be fine.” Volstagg cuts in, followed by a series of chuckles that ebb and flow through the group.

“Volstagg.” Thor warns, shooting him a glare that quiets the snickering down, but by then it was too late, the damage had been done.

For, worse than the comparisons between himself and his golden brother, were those between him and the woman he loved so dearly.

Your close relationship made it so it was easy for people to jeer at the fact that the warrior lady is doing a man’s job while the prince practised such cowardly arts as magic that were meant for women. The comparison wasn’t flattering to either of you as he was thought of as a weakling and you as a woman trying to be a man.

“No, Volstagg, go on. Tell me what exactly you mean to say.” Again, you start defending him, ready to start a fight with the large man who began slinking back when faced with your unbridled fury. You were always so passionate about defending him, but Loki cannot let you keep doing that. He needed to prove that he could look after himself, not to impress those mindless thugs, but to prove to you that he could be a man for you, and provide you with protection just like any other man.

“I’m sure he’s just joking, my lady.” Loki interrupts and you look at him with surprised eyes that get all the wider as he continues, “It doesn’t matter anyway as I’ll be joining you.”

“My prince, you don’t have to--”

“I don’t have to do anything, my lady. I want to. Now let’s stop this useless bickering and go.”

__________________________

There was a nervous energy within the group the whole time they were in Alfheim. The men felt weird with Loki there and Loki felt weird with the warrior lady always hovering around.

“Lady, if I didn’t know any better I’d think that you were trying to guard me. I don’t need guarding. I can defend myself.” He didn’t want to snap at you like that but he desired so desperately for you to see him as a man for once.

“O-of course, my prince.” You splutter, a pretty blush on your face from being called out, and hesitantly take a few steps away from him, still not going far.

Loki huffs and charges forward carelessly, if you weren’t going to give him space, he will take it himself. And it’s precisely his attempt to distance himself from you that gets them in trouble.

“Brother, look out!” Thor shouts and Loki looks up barely in time to see an elf descend on him from the tree he was under. Shouts rise up and fill the air as their party gets ambushed by the rogue elves they were after.

Loki gets outnumbered, one of the elves delivering a blow to him before you can make your way to him. But your party quickly overcomes their momentary shock and works fast to push back the elves, steadily gaining control and shifting the tides in your favor.  Eventually, you beat the band of rogue elves and send them scattering back into the woods.

When the fight dies down, things only get worse for Loki as you rush to cradle his body in your arms, thinking he is unconscious, before turning back to the men. “Shame on you! If you hadn’t been absolute pricks to him, he wouldn’t have felt the need to prove himself to you and get himself hurt. Why must you be like this?”

“I’m sorry, my lady.” Thor speaks up, sounding genuinely upset too.

“Oh, shove it up your big behind, my prince.” You growl, lifting Loki up in your arms and moving towards the portal to go back home.

Even without opening his eyes, he can feel your worried gaze on his face and it kills him.

__________________

Loki became closed off the entire period he was healing. The more you fussed over him, the quieter he got. He was so disappointed in himself and you taking care of him only wounded his ego further.

“Stop babying me, woman. You’re worse than the lot of them. Would you like me to hand you a pair of scissors so you can snip my balls off and hang them around your neck?”

You were taken aback by his outburst, and Loki regrets his outburst for a second, thinking he’s finally pushed you away. But instead of stomping off, you get on the bed and straddle him, grabbing his neck and growling roughly, “You don’t want me to be gentle with you? Fine, I won’t be gentle.”

You smash her lips to his, tearing a noise of surprise from his throat. You’d been patient enough with him but he insists on being a brat. If that’s the way he wants to be treated then so be it. And judging by the way he kissed you back eagerly, you don’t have to wonder long.

He was almost healed by now, and you could be free to run her hands all over him without hurting him, eliciting instead the most needy moans from his pretty lips. But when he tries to do the same, he is met with hard, unyielding steel.

"This is unfair. Take this off." He protests against your lips.

"I think not. You have been quite the sourpuss lately, I don't think you deserve to touch me. Matter of fact, keep those wandering hands up." You grab his hands and pin them to the bed, intending to punish him for all the hell he made you go through.

"No, please, my lady, let me touch you."

"Oh you're already begging, that's not very manly of you." You bite at him, still upset that he endangered his life just because his ego was bruised.

He cowers under your intense glare, feeling reprimanded. "I'm sorry, I'll be good."

"Oh you will be. Now quit your protesting or I'll gag you too."

He shuts up, though he's unsure if it wouldn't have been better for you to gag him as the noises that come out of his throat at your ministrations were not very dignified.

"You don't know how long I've been waiting to get my hands on you, my prince. You drive me crazy." You drawl, palming his member and making him turn to hide his face in his arm as a blush covers his face.

"I should punish you for teasing me so." You  slowly pull his trousers down his hips, exposing his eager member to the cool night air that was clashing with your warm breath so close to where he needed you the most. "Will you be good for me from now on, my sweet prince?"

This was everything they ridiculed him for, being so subservient to a woman like this, but damn did he crave it. He needed you to own him.

"Yes, my lady." He stares down at you as you lean down ever so close to his cock, your breath fanning over him, as hot as ever and he feels his skin melt under it. The heat spreading to the rest of his body made his blood simmer in his veins. Sweat beaded up on his skin and his mind sweltered as you put your mouth on him, but he could do nothing but push himself into the scorching heat of you, submitting himself to the flames.

But all too suddenly, he stops burning, coolness flashing over his body like one of his brother's storms, and he stares down at you in betrayal, ready to apologize for everything and profess his undying love for you if only she would put your mouth back on him, but the horror struck look on your face sobers him up.

"My lady, what is--"

"What is happening to you?" You shriek, and for the first time he sees fear in your eyes.

"What do you mean?" He puzzles, looking down at himself in reflex, wondering what had possessed you when a flash of blue catches his eyes…

Huge patches of his body were covered by rough blue skin, the likes of which are all too familiar to him. He can't help his own shout of panic. "What is that? What is happening?!"

"You're turning into a….a monster." You shake her head, tears springing to your eyes at the horror unfolding in front of you.

"Lady, help me please.” Loki is even more shaken, tears already streaming down his face as he seems terrified of his own self. “Did they put a curse on me?"

"I-I don't know." You lament, feeling hopeless.

But then an idea pops into your head, "I'll get the king. He'll know what to do."

"No, please!" His hands fly out to hold onto you but you jump back, and Loki quickly pulls his arms back to his body, wounded at the disgusted look on your face.

"Why not?"

"You know he doesn't favor me."

"Don't be ridiculous. He's your father." You try to calm him down but he only gets more disconsolate. "No you don't understand. You don't see the way he looks at him when no one is looking. I'm… I'm scared."

Your heart breaks at the way he shivers, but there is nothing else you can do. You’re sure he’s just panicked. Odin is good and kind and you trust him beyond measure. "You're hallucinating, my sweet. The king would never hurt you."

"No, you don't understand--" He squeaks, and you reach out to cradle his face in your palms, only flinching slightly at the coldness. "Hush, my sweet." You kiss him gently then run to the king. Hearing Loki sob behind you only makes you run faster.

_________________________

A/N: lol surprise

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Alright so I've seen a lot of opinions floating around and now it's time to add my two cents: the show's Loki is both similar to and distinct from the Loki we remember, and that is, or at least can be, a good thing

We have this idea of the "Loki we know," and we're frustrated that he's not being adapted faithfully--and to a degree, this is correct. Marvel very intentionally chose 2012 Loki as the version to resurrect, because that is when Loki was at the height of his popularity. By doing this, they could get the fanbase that Loki has always had to watch the show, while also avoiding much of the character distortion that came after TDW. A great idea! But then, instead of bringing this character into the show and authentically representing him, they smashed him up with Ragnarok Loki's portrayal. This was mostly done to engage general viewers and to maintain a slightly lighter tone, but both of these are mistakes: first of all, the general viewership has never been Loki's core, active fanbase. But I get it--you want to make money. The second, more egregious mistake, is that you absolutely could have kept a lighter tone with 2012's Loki, and then easily adapted him from there. At the end of Avengers, he's making jokes, and we see even more of these in Endgame. That's humor that's authentic to the character, and doesn't feel disrespectful like Ragnarok was. When we see the Ragnarok style of humor popping up, we immediately get defensive because of how that movie treated him, and we say, "This isn't the Loki we know." But the Loki we know is, to a degree...wrong.

This might seem a bit harsh at first, but I think the fandom as a whole is unwilling to let go of a slightly distorted version of Loki, and that's coloring the fan response to the show. Because we've spent so long with a character that has had relatively few instances of development or even screen time, we've become attached to the version of the character we think we know, sometimes without realizing that collective memory has shifted our perception of him slightly. We're unwilling to let the character change at all, even if at points this growth could be done well--and even if the character was faithfully adapted, he would be met with criticism because he wouldn't be "what we know"; he couldn't be, because we as a fandom created that character, over time and without really recognizing it. To a degree, that kind of misplaced criticism is mixing with the legitimate critiques of the series. It makes us unwilling to look at the good things that are present, even among the flaws.

As an example, let's talk about Loki as a planner, and how his actions in the series compare to those in the earlier movies. A common sentiment I've heard is that throughout episode two (and to a degree, episode one) Loki is just kind of going along with everything. He doesn't seem to have a plan, and this makes people uncomfortable, since the "Loki we know" was a great planner. Wasn't he?

Most of the basis for the "Loki we know," comes from Thor and Thor: the Dark World, so I'll be using those as my "proof texts," so to speak. In those two movies, we see plenty of examples of Loki making spur-of-the-moment decisions to take advantage of a situation; he's a very flexible, adaptable character by nature (as I've discussed before), so this makes sense. The trouble is, I think the fandom memory of Loki has shifted enough that we forget exactly why and how he makes these decisions, and how they turn out. In contrast to what those films actually show us, we tend to think of Loki as a very strategic character, who is too clever to be caught off-guard. That's not the case.

Loki, in those films, has very little grasp or consideration of the consequences of his actions, because his emotions cloud his judgement; because of this, his plans (which are created responsively), and even actions he does not plan, fall apart disastrously. In Thor, when Thor is banished from Asgard, Loki sees an opportunity to step into the role his brother had filled. Then he discovers he is actually Laufey's son, and in response to this news and Odin's falling into Odinsleep, Loki plans to double-cross Laufey and kill him to prove his loyalty, taking the throne in the interim. He does have a plan, but it's one that he developed rather spontaneously based on the circumstances--he didn't plan for Odin to fall asleep so that he could assume the throne, that just...happened, and Loki forms a plan to adapt to it. But when he hears that Thor is trying to return to Asgard, all of his insecurities, compounded by having just discovered that he's actually a Jotun, come back full force; desperate to keep the small bit of identity he thinks he's managed to find, Loki sends an Automaton to kill Thor--whom he loves, and has even said so several times in the film--and then tries to destroy the Bifrost to keep Thor from coming back. These are decisions Loki hasn't truly evaluated; if he had, he wouldn't have made them, because they don't line up with his actual goal, as we see when Thor arrives. When Thor confronts him, Loki essentially has a breakdown, admitting in tears that his real motivation for all of this was just to be considered Thor's equal. He didn't hate Thor, he didn't hate Odin, he didn't even want to be king--he just wanted to be loved as much as his brother. But along the way, his real goal was clouded by his emotional state, and he stopped thinking clearly, instead just lashing out in a desperate bid to protect himself from more pain.

We see something similar occur in Thor: TDW. When Loki sends the guards "up the stairs to the left," he's not thinking about who they might find--he's just lashing out because he's been abandoned by his family, and he wants to exert whatever influence he can over the situation. He wants to do something, especially if it causes problems for Odin and Thor, and he thinks the opportunity has just landed in his lap. He hardly planned for it, but he's not going to pass it up. So he takes it unhesitatingly--and his mother dies. (Coincidentally, after both his father's rejection and his mother's death, Loki nearly dies himself, and at least one of those instances was deliberate. Hmmm...Loki doesn't want to live with the consequences of his actions? It's too painful for him to face what he's done?? Hmm??? But that's beside the point.) Once again, Loki's goals are unclear, and things go wrong because he's just acting on emotion.

All this to say, for Loki, plans are very flexible things that are basically defined as "whatever works best to get what I want," so to say that Loki is just going along with things in the series, and is thus out-of-character, is a bit of an unfair criticism; despite our misremembering, he is, as he's always done, very much acting as a reactive planner. As I've spelled out before, when Loki is thrown into the new environment of the TVA, he immediately starts gathering information, and shaping his responses based off of what he finds. He takes the chances he has to feel things out (at the Renaissance fair, for example), but mostly he bides his time and actively observes until an opportunity arises. This is standard for him, but viewers haven't really been receptive to it, because it isn't what we're expecting.

Now, Loki claims to have a larger plan (something that we think we remember being common), but that's not actually the case. When speaking to Lady Loki/(Enchantress??), he says his ultimate goal is to overthrow the TVA--but he also framed his supposed overall plan as "get an audience with the Time Keepers" when speaking to Mobius. Neither of these are true. In order to more effectively manipulate others, he pretends to have large-scale motivations: with Lady Loki/Enchantress, he knows she will likely only respect him if he claims to have an endgame, since she so clearly does herself, so he manufactures one she likely wouldn't oppose. Mobius, on the other hand, would likely be suspicious without the red-herring Loki throws him; since Mobius believes Loki's trying to get an audience with the Time Keepers, he doesn't become suspicious about how quickly Loki becomes eager to catch the other variant, which would otherwise have been an appropriately huge red flag. But these are just misdirections, further things that Loki is doing to keep himself in the best position possible. That's why his claims of a grand plan (particularly to Lady Loki/Enchantress) sound sudden or unrealistic: they are. But because we think we remember Loki being someone who would have a larger plan, we aren't able to see that he doesn't need to.

This time, unlike in Thor and TDW, Loki's immediate goals are clear: escape the TVA. Be free. Despite Mobius' attempts to get him into a hyper-emotional, and thus, less careful, state of mind, Loki keeps his wits about him. He's intentional with his decisions. He's not lashing out. For once, he's aware of and considers the consequences of his actions--we see him weighing the options as he stands in front of the portal--and he makes the right decisions because his goal is clear in his mind. And this makes all the difference. Loki plays the game expertly, and for the first time, he wins--he escapes.

And I think this is an excellent development, one that deserves more appreciation than we're giving it. It's a good thing that he's not behaving how we think we remember him, as some master planner--that would be being unfaithful to his character. Loki isn't the same as Lady Loki/Enchantress. He doesn't have a grand plan. He just, finally, knows what he really wants. That shows growth, and that is the kind of change we have to want to see, and be willing to accept; so in that regard, it's even good that this Loki is different than he actually was. The Loki we see in Thor and TDW is a highly emotional, and very broken, character, who reacts to his environment often without thinking of the potential consequences; the Loki we're being shown here is still emotional, still clearly affected by what he's gone through, but is now able--or is now being allowed!--to demonstrate his actual capabilities. He ACTUALLY GETS WHAT HE WANTS. That's the first time that's happened, the first time his attempts to protect himself or outsmart someone have actually ended in success instead of disaster. And that's exactly what you should do with a character.

Now, a valid quibble with Loki's characterization is that these things are not obvious, and that is a very legitimate criticism. It's hard to see that Loki is manipulating Mobius by pretending to be helpful, because the show seems to be framing it in a way that encourages us to take Loki at face value. Loki's behavior is an intentional obfuscation, but it can be hard to realize that if it seems like that's what the show is telling us Loki really is. Personally, I justify this by saying that the show is showing us Loki as he wants to be perceived--when Loki is bluffing in episode one, he seems cartoonish and over the top, but certainly nothing like he actually is, and this is what he intends. When he seems too jovial and trusting in episode two, that's because that's what he's presenting to Mobius. It's about whether we buy into the act as much as the other characters do--which is why Loki's most in-character scenes come when he's alone. When he has no one to perform for, he stops performing for us, too, and we see the genuine presentation. But, I could be wrong--maybe this isn't intentional at all. Maybe the writers really are just trying to revamp a character from 2012 and are doing it clumsily, and that's why he seems out of character in moments like those. It's too early to say, and honestly, we may never be sure.

But there are real, valid, and undeniable moments of positive development, the likes of which Loki has never had the space to experience before. They are present if you are willing to look--but they are much less obvious to people who don't want to see them. I agree, they are hard to see, and if I'm being honest, I haven't loved the show anywhere near as much as I would have liked to so far. But I think the fandom as a whole is so caught up in this idea of the "Loki we know" that they don't see the Loki we have for what he is--people are too attached to a misremembering of Loki's previous actions to realize that the change in his behavior isn't a regression or a flaw in his writing but a sign of growth. We're too attached to his brokenness and weakness to let him become strong.

We are defensive about Loki's character because of how it's been mishandled in the past, but if you actually look, you'll find that there is actually a lot of good in what we're being given. I'd agree that the show has to get better about making that obvious if it wants to succeed. But I think some of the harsh criticism the show has been receiving is unwarranted. It might not be perfect, and some of these decisions on the parts of the writers might not be intentional, but Loki has always been a character we've had to think about in order to understand him. Just like this show, there is much good about him beneath the surface. And for as much trouble as it causes sometimes--I'm glad that isn't changing.

[twist-shout-and-shells]

Loki: Religious Predestination v Free-Will

And how that affects his relationship with Mobius, narratively speaking

So. In case it isn’t clear by *gestures at my whole blog*, I’m a Supernatural blog. I’m a DeanCas blog. I haven’t been around much lately because there are very important, Orwellian things going on in Brasil, but I still keep up with the fandom. And, more important to this post, I still keep up with whatever Marvel’s doing, which means I get up at 7 am every Wednesday to watch Loki.

(Before we start, I’d like to note that I had never actually published any meta on Tumblr. The most I had done was give it to my philosophy and biology teachers as school essays. So, bear with me, okay?)

Well, what does Supernatural have to do with Loki? Not much, except for the narrative they very obviously share. The characters are different, their motivations too, and so are many of the variables that surround, but deep down, at the core, it is the same narrative of Religious Predestination versus Free-Will. And yes, that drives me all the way up the walls.

Religious Predestination is the idea that all events, past, present, and future have been foretold, “written”, predicted by divine, omnipotent beings. There are different types of Predestination, but the two I think fit the most here are Double Predestination and Middle Knowledge (yes, most of my knowledge of this comes from Wikipedia, sue me).

The first claims that God (or whichever omnipotent divine being is responsible for the predestination, in this case, the Time-Keepers) chooses from his own will who will be “condemned” and who will be “saved”. This applies to the show when we consider the fact that Loki has been “predestined” to be a villain. Is all he’s ever been, it’s what he was “born to be”, while the Avengers were all born to be heroes, according to the decrees of the Time-Keepers.

Meanwhile, Middle Knowledge defends that, before the creation of the world (or, in this case, the Sacred Timeline), God already knew every choice that every free-will possessing creature could make in any given circumstance, and He chose the “timeline” that most suited his will. This version also makes sense when we consider the existence of multiple timelines and that the Time-Keepers united them and decided what would be the proper flow of time.

Now, which exact version of Religious Predestination to pick isn’t exactly my point here. My point is that I) everything about the TVA screams Religious Predestination allegory, from the minutemen and other agents being “created” to the words “decree” and “dictate” being thrown around whenever Ravonna is on screen or someone’s talking about the Time-Keepers (who just so happen to be kind of worshipped at the TVA, as there are so many statues of them. They are treated like gods. They are gods.). Do you know what else is a Religious Predestination allegory? Blade Runner. Do you know what was one of the main inspirations for the TVA’s design? Blade Runner! That could mean nothing or that could mean something given *gestures vaguely at the rest of this post*.

So. Loki seeks to escape his “Destiny”. He wants to make his own choices without them being decreed by divine, omnipotent beings. He wants his successes and failures (but mostly his successes) to be his own, and, most important, he doesn’t want to be what everyone expects him to be. Not anymore. Not after what he saw at the TVA. Because everyone is telling him that he was “born to be” a villain (or, at the very least, a side character), he will now want to prove to everyone that he can be more than that. Because he is that “insubordinate, stubborn, and unpredictable” (even if he plans on overthrowing the TVA, I don’t think he sees that as an act of villainy. Maybe he never even planned on actually overthrowing the TVA, maybe he just wanted to get the Variant).

And Mobius, well. Mobius is a good TVA agent. Not all good, of course, ‘cause he has shown more than once that he doesn’t completely agree with how the TVA does things (“They should be scared” “Not of us”), even though, at the end of the day, he believes in them and accepts their mission because he believes they are doing the right thing (unless I’m completely wrong about Mobius, he is the true villain of the show, and has an evil plan of his own. Sorry, I saw a post and now I’m paranoid). So, what happens when an already questioning, though devoted, agent of the Time Variance Authority like Mobius comes into contact with someone like Loki, who pretty much worships Chaos? After having studied Loki’s whole life, and admittedly being a big fan? Well, this happens:

(If looks could kill indeed, Mobius)

Loki is supposed to drag Mobius out of his comfort zone at the TVA, to make him question things harder. Because it would seem “good people are never truly good”, so what’s behind the TVA’s Orwellian, Blade Runner-y scenario? And, even if they’re just really boring and full of paperwork, why should anyone dictate the proper flow of time? What about Free-Will, what about Chaos?

That is how this sort of narrative is supposed to go. Because Loki and Mobius are complete opposites in where they came from and who they wanna be, but at the same time, they’re much alike, as Ravonna even says. She accuses Mobius of being just as insubordinate and stubborn as Loki is. Loki was born and he wanted to be king because he thought (and was led to believe) it was his birthright. Now he wants to tell his own story more than ever ‘cause how dare the Time-Keepers predestinate Loki. Meanwhile, Mobius was created and all he’s ever known is the TVA’s order. But he is stubborn at heart and he craves humanity (the jet ski???), even if he believes he can’t have it because it’s too chaotic or simply not meant for him.

Mobius doesn’t see Loki as a villain (“no one bad is ever truly bad”?). He believes that Loki can be better. And Loki, if I’m reading this right, should help Mobius see that he’s, you know, kind of working for an authoritarian agency, what with “dictating the proper flow of time” and all that. (Yeah, yeah, I know. Multiversal war this, multiversal war that, but isn’t Doctor Strange’s next movie called Multiverse of Madness? Also, has anyone ever actually met the Time-Keepers? Or do all the TVA agents just blindly follow their orders? Maybe we’re bound to have a Multiverse by the end of this anyway.)

(And I’ve seen this narrative before. Faithless man meets angel, makes angel question Heaven’s orders, angel finds out Heaven is not that good after all, angel literally fall for the faithless man. In between, there is a lot of staring and standing too close and betrayals. It’s ridiculous how similar it is.)

So, where was I going with all of this…look, narratively speaking, from what we’ve seen so far, these two are a perfect match (and I’m not even mentioning Loki’s thing for older men in positions of power, which Mobius is completely aware of

). But there is a big, big distance between the narrative pointing towards something and the creative (though, let’s be honest, probably the executive) powers following through.

Now, it wasn’t just the Religious Predestination thing that caught my attention here, no. It wasn’t even the Blade Runner parallels (I’m quite sure Loki has Galatians Syndrome, but that’s a whole other post). It was how similar the plot of Loki is to the plot of Where Mischief Lies by Mackenzi Lee. It caught my attention to the point that I’m nervously glancing at my book while writing this. But I don’t want this to be too long, so I’m gonna put that on a separate post.

Anyway, I hope at least some of this made sense, and thank you so much for reading through my rambling!

[btswishes]

Love me for who I am now

Bucky x Reader ( Chapter 1 )

Part1 / Next 

Summary: You apply for the Stark internship and end up getting it, so now you have 5 months to make a good impression to continue working with the Avengers.

A/N: This is my first Marvel fic and I am taking it as a challenge. It is opposite of what my account was made, but here I go. Sorry for any mistakes made, hope you enjoy it even a tiny bit.

Word count:  3,281

Warmings: fights, harsh language, not part of the original MCU 

Y/N- Your name Y/L/N:  Your Last Name

                                   --------------------------------------

  Through sleepless nights and dark circles, books and pens, through months of work you reached your goal. The moment you received the acceptance letter from Stark University you almost flew out the window without a fear in your mind. This was it!

  Time had passed since that moment, but it is still engraved in your mind- a memory keeping you strong during the hard midterms and piles of work, even the small glimmers of regret. Trying your best wasn’t an option, you could do only that and no less. It was no easy task, lost social life as much as you tried to keep it. You were really lucky you had good friends that understood and supported you. University wasn’t easy for anyone making this one even tougher. People of all ages, backgrounds and cultures were piled up with you in this building. The best of the best as the slogan said, the ones that proved themselves and emerged victorious.

  When you were young ,you used to spend a lot of time with your uncle at his places outside the country. He would introduce you to his work colleagues and things you had never seen before. There was a time where you would spend months on end with him. Not many memories were left from those moments in your head. At one point you spend a few years with him, your mother thought it would be good experience for you and it turned out to be nothing but the truth-at least you hoped so. You learned a lot from him and his friends, it felt like each spend day would offer you more knowledge in areas you never knew of. Computer work, ways of thinking and so much more that had become second nature to you.

  The sky was tinted in a wash of oranges, reds and yellows bleeding one into the other, swirling around the sun emitting them. The day was ending, but you found yourself filling up an application in the library, covered by the silence and smell of exam worry.

  Sponsored and founded by the one and only Tony Stark, this establishment offered an internship. Being part of the Avengers, Tony didn’t let just anyone from the students attending in, even if they were the best labeled by the school. It had been a year and a half since you started pushing yourself harder to be able to apply and there was nothing that could stop you. Pressing your finger over the enter button was very nerve wrecking yet simple. Even if it didn’t work out this year, you planned to do it again and again ,till he had no other choice but give you a chance.

  Usually F.R.I.D.A.Y. went over everything and left only the applications worth going over by Tony himself or Pepper. The next 5 weeks for you were very stressful, but there was nothing more you could do but wait and focus on your own work. The first person you wanted to tell about this was your uncle. He went to work in some distant place where they had no internet so you switched to mail. Not as much paper under his name passed through your hands, as he had stopped answering you. You missed him, but the muddy childhood memories kind of compensated for that.

“Did you send it in?” the phone muffled a bit the sweet voice coming from the speaker 

“Yeah, a few days ago actually.” You answered with a gentle sigh

“And no answer yet?” the girl’s pitch rose at the end of the sentence, amazed at that what she just heard

“I know, I know. Think about it though Nea. Who knows how many applications get submitted. Someone has to brush through them after all.” defending the situation was a form of coping for you, made you feel hopeful.

“So you are trying to tell me Tony Stark’s interface or whatever it’s called, can’t sort them out in a couple of hours? Come on Y/N! You and I both know you are trying to make yourself feel better.” The small pause made you anxious over what Nea said “Listen.” A breathy start of the sentence “ I don’t mean to brag, but I think I am one of the people who know exactly how much you deserve this. You were never the studious type, plus that you were gone for years on end with that mysterious uncle of yours. I never expected you to suddenly go for Stark University. Your dream changed you, from this quiet kid to crazy ol’ you right now on the call with me.I ain’t letting you bust yourself up over this just because it didn’t happen the first time around-”

                Ding ding

  Nea’s deep speech was cut off before she could unleash herself completely, by the slight ring of your phone’s notification.

“Who tf has the audacity to text while the great me is giving this legendary –“

                Ding!

  The second time the sound sung out made her choke up with anger, you could almost see the fumes coming out of the phone.

“WHO IS IT!” a loud hiss pierced your ear

“Maybe if you gave me a minute I could answer your question.” Pulling the call down, your finger ran over the screen to the email, making your notification lamp blink like a car. Almost instantly it opened before your eyes and you gasped. The action made you swallow suddenly and cough out a bit ,giving poor Nea an idea about the level of shock you were in.

“What?What? You can’t just almost die and not tell me what is going on.” She proceeded with a not so tasteful interrogation.

“I-…they accepted my application…” at the end a small smile flowed over your lips contorting the sound coming out

“Stop!?” she choked up as well “You gotta be fucking with me!? No fucking way this is real!”

“I am honest. It says here that they liked my skill set, my grades and the way of thinking I presented in my essay. I got the spot Nea! I fucking did it!” you threw the phone on the bed letting it bounce as you started dancing.

“Of course you did! I told you! You will be working with THE AVENGERSSSS!” at some point it sounded like your best friend was more excited than you “When do you start?”

“Well…” taking a second to calm down and re-establish contact with your phone, you looked up the schedule that came attached with the email “…ok…so it says here that I will be starting on Monday so~ in 2 days? “

“So soon! Any requirements for the job miss Avenger’s sidekick?” and the teasing begins

“A list, surprisingly.” Rolling onto your back, you held the screen away and above your face, scrolling past “ I guess my first job will be with Dr. Banner in the lab. Apparently I will be given some sort of assignments throughout the 5 months work span. I will be monitored by Dr. Bruce Banner and the grading, I guess if you can call It that ,will be done by Tony Stark himself.”

“Basically Hulk will be your babysitter.” once this girl starts teasing she never stops even in amazing situations such as this one, good thing you loved her “That sounds so cool though! You will be able to meet Captain America and Black Widow~! I am so jelly of you I swear! When you leave work make sure to wait for someone from the group to walk by, omgggg I am fangirling so much right now.What if you go to dinners with them!?AAAAA!”

“Fun thing about that.” Your eyes landed on the last paragraph of the email “It says here that I am supposed to move into the compound and stay there till further notice. The whole idea is that if I do things well I will get a permanent job. Weird…” you hummed

“Weird !? How? That is so cool! Who knows you might even become an Avenger! You will be living with them anyways.” at this point Nea was either not breathing or hyperventilating so fast you couldn’t hear it

“Don’t be ridiculous.” your attention landed once more on the thought process you had a moment ago “I don’t get one thing. They say here that my PE grades combined with my IT and overall studies make me a great candidate, but I don’t remember sports being a requirement at all, or even providing them in the first place. Does it mean that if my grades were low in that department I wouldn’t have gotten the spot?”

“I guess people of science aren’t that flexible. Who cares anyways! You got in, no ifs and buts. I am telling you, at this point you could be an Avenger.” poor girl began thinking of names and suit designs for you “ Hurry up and pack those bags before I drop by with take away, so we can gossip over Steve Rogers’s abs.”

“Um…don’t get me wrong he is super hot, I just see the Cap more like an older brother figure than anything.” It was true, you looked up to him since the first time you studied about the Civil War. Fearless, gave his life in a way for his people, astonishing man over all.

“Hey! Let me drool over him! You were always more of a Winter Soldier fan anyways.” Nea pouted audibly . Her words made some lone memory pop up in your head, but it was as murky as the rest. “I don’t know why I am interested in him. Somehow his look is very nostalgic and rugged. Anyways. ”you shook your head out of the mental image of the soldier “I will go pack up, tell my parents and fix up all my documents. Probably find some stuff from former Stark employees online. I want to have a bit of an idea of what he expects and what I am getting myself into.”

“Fine fine, you could have just said you like troubled guys. You were the one who was happy Loki got a second chance after all. I will be over in like 3 hours.” She informed you

“Hey! He deserved to redeem himself, he was used!” a firm Loki supporter as always “Ok then, see ya.”

   Hanging up the call you placed your phone to charge and rolled off your bed. The email gave vague information about what you needed, but clothing wise you would still be able to come home and get stuff if you had to. What was on top of your priorities were papers, documents, all your research materials and tech. Those things had to be organized no matter what ,since they got you this far in the first place.

  Nae came over as planned and you two had a nice sleepover talking about you know who. The night came and left, letting the morning find you in your bed at 11am. Your forearm rested on top of your forehead in a relaxed manner, letting enough space for an exhale to linger in the air in front of you. Your mind was going over everything that was about to happen to you. It was one of your dreams, you worked for it nonstop day in day out, so why were you so worried about meeting the rest of the Avengers? Maybe it was just anxiety or fear of the unknown, yeah made sense.

  All you did during the day was make lists for every piece of tech you were binging with yourself. Things seemed to be in order, but worry kept nibbling on your bones. The moment of truth finally rolled up and so did your suitcase in front of your house. Nea came to send you off as she promised.

“Sweetie, make sure to call us every day. Eat well, don’t overwork yourself and-“ your mom went off with caution about anything and everything that came to mind

“Mom, you know I am going 3 blocks down from here right? Plus I can come home at any time I want to. I am not moving to Mars or getting arrested.” You smirked the panic away from her, giving them a big hug.

“Call me or text me when you get there.” Nea pulled you in, whispering in your ear as quietly as possible “And don’t forget to sneak me a booty pick of good ol’Cap. You know what they say-”

“That is America’s ass.” Your voice came out in a mocking tone

“That i-…let me at least finish it by myself! Geez!” she pushed you towards the door “Ok ok, go now before you spoil me something else” her arms crossed in front of her chest

  The walk wasn’t that long, you were too invested in your own thoughts to notice when the time and distance had passed. The glistening windows of the compound building shined into your eyes. Your lungs filled up with a breath that they kept in for a moment, before releasing it back in the outside world. Pulling out the documents you stepped in. The fresh smelling air hit you making you close one eye for a second.

People were walking around you fast and concentrated. Some looked in a hurry, others were on break with a cup of coffee and a strain-leaving expression.

 Your feet, as slightly shaky as they were, took you right up to the front desk were a lady with a dark rich red colored uniform looked at you. She flashed a professional smile, her eyes asking for your purpose.

“Um, hello. My name is Y/N -Y/L/N.” she saw the logo on your papers and gasped

“You must be the new intern Mr. Stark told us about.” She signed something and reached out “Can you give me your hand for a second.” Your fingers didn’t go past the surface of the desk when she pocked your skin. Pulling in your extremity, your palm wrapped around the spot that began to sting a bit “Don’t worry about it. This is your identification pass. Fancy, no?” she smiled winking. Her body stood up as she pointed at the elevator far in the back of the foyer.

  Instructions were given with each step of the way, calming your nerves a bit. The moment you found yourself inside the elevator she pulled your hand to the sensor on the wall next to the buttons.

Recognized: Code 2514. Welcome Miss Y/N  

 Your head shot up when F.R.I.D.Y.’s voice echoed in the small space. The women smiled giving you a small nod and stepped out of the vicinity. Once her body was outside ,the doors slid closed. Over them glowed a protective blue light layering over the material like a soft veil.

 It felt like you weren’t moving an inch. Your body flinched when the sun stung at your eyes from the window. Your gaze landed over the view of the city, as you went higher and higher, ascending into the clouds  The blues and yellows were covering the inside of the elevator, such vibrant and lovely colors warming your body. For a moment your heart felt heavy- lost memory tugged onto it again. An often occurrence lately, yet you kept brushing off as deja vu. 

Floor 134. Welcome to the Avenger’s compound Miss Y/N

“134!?” the numbers cracked out with your voice. The interface made you turn towards the opposite opening doors revealing a room as big as a hall, if not almost a stadium. The ceiling was high being the lid to this round area. Your heart beat increased pumping blood to your body, dilating your pupils at least twice their original size. It look amazing, almost like you had just entered heaven. The walls were white, the furniture was perfectly placed and cream colored. Stepping outside you jumped at the sound of the elevator doors closing behind you. 

“Wow” escaped your lips, your hand pulling the suitcase closer. So this was the common room or the shared space. The windows were so big they were practically a wall of their own. The bright rays were making themselves at home giving the white paint a new color with each passing minute. The ceilings were probably the equivalent of 3 floors in height. There was this weird feeling of home inside, a bit of isolation maybe mixed in. 

“Miss Y/N?” your head swung to the side when you recognized that shy but bright smile. Throwing the papers on top of your suitcase, you extended your arm at the man.

“Ah.” Good thing your mind automatically responds politely to people without you giving it much thought “Dr. Banner. It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance.” you shook his hand gently a couple of times and let go ,finding the papers and showing them to him “My name is Y/N-Y/L/N.” gentle bow and a smile followed the words skillfully chosen

“Welcome Welcome. Tony is out right now so I might be the only one actively walking around the compound. Well…”he scratched the back of his neck, lightly hunching over with a sheepish smile “I am one of the people you will be working under anyways, so I guess it is good that I came to get you. I would love to show you the lab, but I am sure you would like to set up your things first.” You nodded and he showed you to your room. The corridor had 3 tall doors scattered on the walls, all looking modern and elegant.

“This is the side where usually we have our female members. Natasha and Wanda will be your nextdoor neighbors. Hope it won’t be any trouble.” Bruce looked at you ,when an aggressive shake took over your neck

“No, no. Not at all sir. I am very grateful to have such amazing heroes next to me. As a matter of fact won’t they be troubled with me here?” and here came the normal anxiety that you had for everything

“I am sure they will like you. Don’t worry about it.” Bruce stepped next to the door and waved you over “You don’t have a key or a door handle as a matter of fact. Tony’s idea, don’t ask. If you got up here on your own I assume he made the girls downstairs give you an identification implant. That is basically your entrance for everything here. Kind of an Avengers thing.” You nodded and him wiggling his fingers like a spell. Placing your hand on the door like he told you activated F.R.I.D.A.Y.

Recognized: Y/N. Access and ownership granted.

  The metal frame slid open and you found yourself standing before a big room. It was nicely furnished. The desk was big enough for you to work on it and have everything around. Bookshelves empty and ready to be used on your left and a large bed on your right flush against the wall. The window was once more its own wall right in front of you standing behind the desk. The bathroom door was opening a space before the shelf the same color as the paint in the common room.

“I will let you set up. If you need anything F.R.I.D.A.Y. is always here. The room is interactive, you can ask exactly what works under the interface’s control. The door is one.Take your time.”he was on his way out “Would you like some coffee or tea?”

“I would like some tea, thank you very much.” Bruce flashed you a smile “F.R.I.D.A.Y. the door please.”

Door closed 

  Done as said and requested, clicking behind you. 

Would you like an extensive list of my functions as an assistant?

“Please do.”

[cozy-the-overlord]

Dances and Daggers

Summary: The Summer Festival is upon Asgard, as is the tradition of the dagger ceremony, where each unmarried gentleman chooses a lady to bestow with the honor of carrying his dagger for the night. As Prince Thor’s betrothed, Teki’s only goal is to accept his dagger with grace and hope that her violent stepfather doesn’t find fault with her in the process. But Prince Thor is unpredictable, and when he ignores his engagement on a whim Teki finds herself in a desperate situation. Luckily, Thor isn’t the only prince in Asgard…

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Chapter 18: The End

Previous Chapter  |  

Word Count: 1,793

A/N: Oh my goodness, we're here. We're at the last chapter. I can't believe it. Thank you all so much for reading and liking and commenting-- you've all made the last seventeen weeks absolutely wonderful, and I'm so grateful :)

TW: Mentions of violence, child abuse, description of a dead body

Tags: @lucywrites02 @gaitwae @moumouton4 @berriemalfoy @whatafuckingdumbass @sophlubbwriting

if you want to be tagged, feel free to just send me an ask/message! :)

Read it on Ao3!

The Winter Festival was in full swing. Teki surveyed the crowd from her place on the royal platform. She still wasn’t entirely comfortable sitting so high above everyone else, but the spot wasn’t anywhere near as unnerving as she had first found it. Besides her, Brant munched contentedly on the meat she had chopped into tiny pieces for him. In the beginning, he had been so frightened of sitting atop the podium that he was afraid to even ask her to cut his food, but after several months he had grown quite at ease with the whole thing.

“Teki!” he’d whisper excitedly, pulling on her sleeve. ”You can see everyone in the hall from here!”

She couldn’t help but grin.

On her other side, Loki grasped her hand.

“Would you like to dance?”

Teki returned his eager smile. “Of course!”

People parted for them as he led her through the crowd, the skirt of her emerald dress billowing around her legs, a silky cloud of green. Loki’s dagger hung at her hip. She had been wearing it every night as of late. It brought a strange sort of tranquility to feel it at her side, something that she hadn’t thought was every possible. It had been hard to look at it at first, to hold it in her hands and know that it had allowed her to take a life. Osvald’s blank stare haunted her whenever she closed her eyes.

But … there was something powerful in it as well, something she couldn’t quite explain. For so long, she had been this helpless little girl who kept her head down and hands clasped in her lap, whose only defense had ever been to close her eyes and hope for the danger to pass, but now … she wasn’t. Everyone knew about her now, not as the fiancé to a prince who held no interest in her, but as a survivor who vanquished the monster who murdered her father. It was an odd feeling. Teki had never expected to command respect of any kind from her fellow Asgardians—even with a future as queen she had always known that she’d exist only in Thor’s shadow—but now, people bowed their heads when she passed.

Loki pulled her on to the dance floor with a twirl, grinning as her dress fanned out around her. Teki giggled.

“Remember the first time you asked me to dance?” she asked suddenly. It seemed eons ago that he had first found her crying on the balcony, and yet somehow it had only been less than a year.

The prince nodded. “I was so nervous,” he confided as he held her closer to him.

Teki laughed incredulously. “You were nervous!”

“I was!” he insisted. “You seemed so sad. I wanted to make you feel better, but I was afraid I was only making things worse.” He paused. “And you were meant for Thor, so I wasn’t certain I’d even be welcome.”

She sighed. That seemed eons ago too—a time where Loki didn’t know her better than she knew herself.

“Well,” she mumbled, cheeks burning. “You’re always welcome.”

He laughed. “Good to know.”

Teki laughed as well, but she hoped he knew how true her words were. She didn’t know what she would have done without Loki these past few months. He had been by her side throughout all the insanity that had followed her mother’s arrest and her stepfather’s demise, whether it was something as grand as testifying before the court that Osvald was killed in self-defense or as simple as sitting next to her at her piano as she played the first few lines of the piece she was composing herself.

He had been with her when she received word that they had found what they believed to be her father’s skeletal remains. Her mother’s confession had included the details of where and how Steinn’s body had been disposed of, down to the gory details that Teki had never wanted to know, how they dismembered him so Osvald could sneak him off world in a rugsack and bury him on Alfheim. Teki’s only attempt to read through the whole thing had ended with her coughing up her breakfast into a chamber pot.

But thanks to Áslaug’s description, they knew where to look, and within a fortnight they found him. Peeling back that blanket to look at her father’s remains had been an experience she couldn’t quite describe. The two felt so disconnected—how could a man so larger than life who she could picture so clearly in her memory be reduced to nothing but a box of dusty bones? For several hours, all she felt was numbness. It wasn’t until late that night that the reality truly struck her. Brant stumbled into her room to find hunched over on her bed, sobbing ferociously into her pillowcase.

They held a funeral for him. It was nothing elaborate, there wasn’t a big production or a huge crowd in attendance, but it was something. Teki didn’t know the next thing about archery, so instead of shooting a flaming arrow, she lit his pyre with a torch before sending it across the water. They probably could’ve gotten a professional archer for it—Loki had offered to shoot it himself—but it had to be her. Teki couldn’t explain it, but it had to be her.

She sighed as her father drifted across the waterfall, across the threshold beyond. It was as if an invisible weight she had carried with her since she was small had floated away as well. He could rest easy now, high in Valhalla. Perhaps she could too.

But there was one thing stopping her from embracing that peace.

Teki followed the guard down through the catacombs of ancient stone, head low. It seemed colder down here, far below the palace. At least, she told herself that’s why she was shivering.

Behind translucent shields of glowing light, prisoners loomed at her as they passed. Teki kept her eyes straight ahead. Based on their biting leers, she got the feeling that they didn’t see a lot of visitors around here.

Her mother sat on the cot in the corner of her cell, picking at her nails. For a moment, Teki almost didn’t recognize her. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, her dress plain and shapeless. She couldn’t recall the last time she had seen her mother without her face painted.

Her eyes had lit up when she noticed Teki lingering on the other side of the ray shield.

“Tekla!” she smiled, her voice hoarse. “I hoped you’d come to see me!”

She wasn’t lying. Áslaug had been sending messages to her daughter through the guards nearly every day since she had been arrested, begging her to pay her a visit.

“You realize you don’t have to do it, right?” Loki had asked her. “You’re not beholden to that woman in any way. If you never want to see her again, you don’t have to.”

Teki knew that. And a part of her would be perfectly content to live out her life without her mother ever being in it. But there was another part that wanted to know what Áslaug could possibly have to say to her.

At first, it didn’t seem like much. “How’s Brant?” she asked after a moment of awkward silence.

“He’s well.” Teki’s voice was stiff. When she first decided to visit her mother, she had told herself she’d be polite. But now, looking at her sitting there pretending as if she had ever given a damn about either of her children, Teki decided she’d settle for civil.

Still, her mother continued on in her bubbly, fake happy voice. “Lovely dress.” She gestured to her emerald gown. “So it’s true then? You’re marrying the other one?”

Teki nodded.

Áslaug breathed a chuckle, shaking her head. “All of that, and you’re not even going to be queen.” She let out a sigh. “I suppose the Norns need a good laugh every now and then.”

“I don’t see anything to laugh about.”

“No, you wouldn’t. Look, I know you hate me,” she paused, as if waiting for Teki to contradict her. Teki only stared ahead in stony silence. She huffed. “I want you to understand, everything I did, I did for you.”

Teki raised her eyebrows. “You killed my father for me?”

“I had to!” Her mother sprung to her feet, leaning as close to the shield as she could without touching it. “Tekla, he didn’t care about your future! We had the chance to make you the most powerful woman in the Nine Realms, and he wanted to let it pass by. Would you be able to forgive me if I hadn’t taken that opportunity?”

“It would have been easier than forgiving you for murdering my father.”

She huffed. “Tekla—”

“What about Osvald?” Teki interrupted. “Did you marry him for me too?”

Her mother sighed. “I didn’t realize what he was like. Had I known—”

“You knew damn well what he was like,” she snapped. “He was willing to kill—”

“For me!” Áslaug pressed her hands to her chest. “He was willing to kill for me. That’s hardly something a woman should pass up.”

“No.” Teki inhaled. Her mother seemed so desperate to convince her, to convince herself that she believed what she was saying. She almost pitied her. “He was willing to kill for what you could give him. He loved you as much as you loved my father.”

Her mother frowned at her. “You’re angry with me now,” she said. “But one day you’ll understand. You’ll wake up and realize that everything you have today, everything you are today, is because of me.”

“You’re wrong,” Teki retorted. “I am what I am today in spite of you, not because.” She let out a shaky breath, motioning towards the guard that she was ready to leave. She met her mother’s glare with a firm stare of her own.

“Goodbye, Mama.” There was nothing else left to say.

The song was changing, morphing from the upbeat strings to the more somber piano solo.

Loki pulled her closer. “Do you want to go to the lake?” he whispered in her ear.

She laughed, cocking her head. “Are you going to push me in?”

“Of course not! Believe me, I learned my lesson with that one.”

“Uh-huh.” Brant was waving at her from the podium. She waved back with a grin. Loki stood beside her, eyebrows raised expectantly. Teki grabbed his hand. “Well, what are you waiting for, my prince? Lead the way!”

This is it, she realized as they scurried through the hallways, giggling like a pair of toddlers.

This is what happiness feels like.

[lucianalight]

I couldn't care less about Sylki vs Lokius, but the fact that Marvel took their most abused character who's spent his life in the shadows of others, the character who a lot of fans relate to on a personal level, and said "actually you were destined to be alone forever! you're so sick and twisted you could only fall in love with yourself!" is. uh. maybe not the message of self acceptance that they think it is. Honestly I've felt awful since I watched the episode...

As much as I take issue with ep 4, this is not one of them. Because it's not what happened.

Loki in the scene with Sif, was being tortured. Mobius used what he knew Loki is afraid of most, to break him. And Loki fears being left alone. So he was forced to hear over and over again that he is alone and deserves it. Mobius is not on the right here. He is torturing Loki and saying things to hurt him even more. Because he doesn't want to accept that all of his life was a lie and what Loki is telling him is the truth. Later, after Mobius realizes that Loki was right, he rejects that narrative, that Loki was destined or deserved to be alone. Actually asks him what Loki thinks about it and tells him that he can be anything he wants.

Although I understand the confusion because the narrative framing is not done well. It sends confusing messages.

The scene with Sif is meant to be a torture for Loki. But it is not framed in a way that the audience feel sorry for Loki. Because what Loki has done is detestable. The audience would side with Sif because apparently the only reason Loki has cut Sif's hair was because he thought it’s funny. The audience would think Loki deserved that punch and knee in crotch and probably even what Sif has said in anger. It might even seem a bit funny. And even his apology isn't really convincing. "I'm a narcissist, I seek attention because I fear being alone" OK but you don't need to be an asshole about it?

So since the audience feel like Loki deserved what Sif has done to him and his apology is framed as him admitting his fault, it doesn't exactly feel like torture. It feels like punishment for a wrong deed. You can't exactly feel sympathy for him, because he basically didn't have a reason for his wrong doing. While in other instances in canon, the audience could sympathize with Loki despite his wrong action, because his motive was understandable.

Then we have him being interrogated by Mobius. And Mobius repeats what exactly Loki has said about himself in the time loop. It doesn't help that Mobius was hero coded from the start, while Loki wasn't, and that his first interrogation with Loki was framed as sth Loki deserved and a therapeutic experience. Or the fact that Mobius is introduced as someone who knows everything about Loki. So even though Mobius is being cruel and in the wrong, the audience get confused because didn't Loki admitted himself that he is a narcissist? And general audience without knowing the true meaning of the word, would think it's true that falling in love with yourself is narcissism. After all, that's basically the origin story of the word. It's based on Greek mythology in which someone named Narcissus who rejected every romantic advances, fell in love with his reflection that he saw in the river.

While the narrative takes back or shed doubt on the notion that Loki deserves to be alone, it doesn't take back the notion the Loki is a narcissist. So all of these wrong choices and framing causes the audience to be confused about the message the show conveys.

So I understand why it hurt you and I'm sorry you felt like that. The narcissist part hurt me too. And I agree that it's not the right way to explore self-acceptance.

[justzawe]

Hey, I'm a little critical of the Loki series and I have my reasons for it, but I'd rather not be lumped into the category that sends Tom and the creators hate. Yes, I'm disappointed and sad about what I had to watch, but I don't hate Tom for it and would rather not be lumped into that category of crazies that sends anyone hate. For the record, I've been begging for the expression of opinions without sending anyone hate, as I've been on the receiving end myself including someone asking me to kill myself for it. I think that any negativity expressed about the show, even though it is valid and done safely on our own blogs is gathering an unnecessary amount of hatred. It's just a different opinion and it's not a testament to our feelings for the real life people, even though some of us have a slight problem with the direction the writing and story went. I think it's a little presumptuous to assume that anyone negative of the Loki series is immediately a deranged fan who would also hate Tom's personal life. I personally don't and feel like Tom and Zawe would be perfect together. And I think it would be a little sane for some of your anons to at least consider that maybe a lot of the people attacking Tom's personal life may be pro Loki series too. There are toxic people everywhere and just because they're pro Loki doesn't make them angels and just because we didn't like the series, doesn't make us evil. If some of the pro Loki fans I've had the displeasure of meeting really did care so much about mental health and avoiding toxicity, they wouldn't have sent me the hate, the death threats and "you're probably lying about your mom beating you up for attention, shut up and accept that you hate the show because your personal headcannons didn't come true". It's pretty upsetting. Could you please be a little more sensitive in the future, when discussing people with different opinions? Some of the things I've heard from your anons are really just so invalidating and looks over everything I've said as someone who's critical of the Loki series. Once again, no hate (I feel like I need to make it clear that there is no misunderstanding, so that no one thinks I'm attacking anyone) and I just think it's a little silly to consider things so black and white. "I liked the show, that makes me the good guy, you didn't like it, so it makes you bad". Please don't encourage that way of thinking, because all I'm trying to do is express my different opinion in peace without being attacked for it. I'm sorry, but the way a lot of your anons speak reminds me a lot of the people who came into my dms and literally asked me to kill myself for being a "hater".

If Tom and Zawe are getting hate, it's because people are jealous of her, and I very much doubt it has to do with his series. We can love Tom, and still ask for better content. And we'd rather not like to be compared to that person who threatened to send out Tom's address. Harassment of any kind is bad, including hopping onto anyone's blog when they're peacefully bonding over disappointment to send them hate, just as much as it's wrong... To hop onto someone's blog when they're peacefully expressing admiration for the show, to send them hate. All opinions are valid and deserve to be expressed... Without it being considered hate mongering.

(so, sorry for making it so long but I just had to say it. Love Zawe's ring btw)

Damn, ma.

It’s fine if you don’t like the show. I just hate that people on twitter are throwing tantrums about it and harassing everyone involved with the show. It’s so disgusting to me that Kate got called a fat skank and women(!) are attacking Sophia’s appearance because they’re mad Tom/Loki kissed her and not Owen/Mobius. You may be the perfect Loki series hater that doesn’t do all those things, but let’s not pretend your pristine behavior is the majority. The majority of people who hate the show are LOUD and obnoxious, so of course most of us can’t stand y’all. At the end of the day, it’s just a damn show. Nobody should be so hostile and emotional over this shit. And I’m talking about both sides.

Now, I’d like this to be the end of this discussion, please.

[jazzythursday]

My Take on The Loki Series, And All The Things I Would Change About/Add To It If I Could (in vaguely chronological order)

Small disclaimer: This is just a compilation of all the ideas I had for ways the Loki Series could have gone, expanding on the main premise. It doesn’t cover everything, simply the aspects of the plot that I felt compelled to diverge from specifically. It’s not meant as an overly harsh critique of the show, just alternate possibilities. A… variant of the show if you will (It’s also egregiously long and yet I had to stop myself from saying more).

The series opens in the TVA with a display of the branching timeline that Loki created. We don’t meet any characters yet or see anyone’s faces, only hearing readings of codes and tracking of the Loki ‘variant’ before switching to Loki.

After traveling with the Tesseract, he takes in his surroundings (it can be the Gobi Desert but the thing with the Mongolians does not happen) but before he can get too far the TVA shows up.

I think it would be interesting to have a sequence of Loki evading them in different environments. Teleporting to different areas/planets and using different forms/disguises (maybe we see a Lady Loki in a restaurant, our Loki, and a few other outfits), however the TVA finds him every time no matter where or what form.

Eventually he gets fed up of running and confronts them directly. This should be an actual fight, i.e. magic and a Loki who is committed to not being taken down again. Ultimately through use of magic dampening technology or other means (but for the love of god not whatever that punch was), he is apprehended and taken into the TVA.

I think the TVA should have been a lot more crowded. They control/ monitor all of time, so we should have seen tons of variants of all shapes/colors/styles/species, maybe even a few characters we recognize (like in the concept art for the show). Show us that Loki is not special here, he is just another variant to be processed and done with, like all the others.

Loki will have already noticed and felt a lack of magic at the TVA, maybe he tried to use it already so by the time we get to the judge his main concern is talking his way out—Putting his ‘silver tongue’ to use. (Lack of magic in the TVA would be referenced later as well when Loki goes to summon a knife or use magic, only to remember that he can’t there).

This is a very small point but if the TVA knows him as Laufeyson, he absolutely would take offense to that. It’s been one year since he found out about and killed his birth father, I’d assume wants nothing to do with the title. Of course the TVA wouldn’t care, and we’d probably get something like:

“I am Loki, of Asgard, and you will address me as such.”

“I think you’ll find out things work a little differently here at the TVA, Mr. Laufeyson.”

Before he’s able to be pruned we have Mobius step in and plead his case.

If the show wants to portray Mobius as a friend we’ll see him have sympathy and conflicts about the TVA from the beginning. He doesn’t quite fit in, he’s bored of the monotony of the place and he has remorse for what they’re doing, but knows it’s not his place to question it. I like the idea of him being somewhat of a fan of Loki (they did mention this in the show but then proceeded to have him belittle Loki every time he opened his mouth which is uh… a choice). Mobius needs Loki’s help but he also has the desire to help Loki. He’s seen how his life plays out and understands that there’s more in him than his worst decisions. I think that Mobius secretly/ subconscious wants a bit of chaos, that he’s intrigued by Loki and as an analyst has an interest in understanding him.

Loki vs B15 would ideally happen before Loki returns to the time theater with the Tesseract instead of after. It would not be so easy for her to physically overpower him as even without magic he still has enhanced strength. (The minutemen show no signs of being genetically much stronger than humans, so arguably without use of their technology it’s obvious he could take one in a fight.

Back in the time theater after Loki’s watched the reel of his life, much of the conversation happens the same albeit with a greater emphasis on Loki’s true motivations and his feelings of powerlessness in his role. A bit about Thanos too (realistically vague). Perhaps he thought at the time he was doing what he wanted, but is starting to realize he doesn’t know anymore. Then we see a version of:

“I can’t promise you salvation, but maybe I can offer you something better.”

“A proposition, I see you have done your research. So tell me, agent, what would you have me do?”

Mobius explains why they need him to track down a variant of himself, and they shake on it. It’s clear that neither of them trust each other yet, but there is a mutual understanding that they will work together anyway.

Their friendship should grow naturally, slowly gaining each other’s trust until they see each other as true allies. In this there are more episodes than in the actual show (I’ll say 8 instead of 6). Give them a few more adventures and a bit more time for splitting up to hurt.

In Roxxcart, we see more use of magic. He dries himself off, maybe shape shifts into/imitates B15 or a minuteman. Loki uses illusions in the fight against the variant. He tries to reason with and understand what they are doing and why. The fight is somewhat matched although Loki is still holding back, fighting with misdirection as the variant fights using possession. Neither of them are showing themselves, and in an attempt to make the variant stop hiding, Loki disperses all the doubles and asks them to do the same. He takes a chance and this is how the variant gets the upper hand, setting off the branches and then revealing herself as Sylvie.

(Side note: In the concept art for the show, Loki changes into his Asgardian outfit by the time he and Sylvie are on Lementis. I definitely could see that working either when the fight begins/during it, or when he goes through the time door. In either case I think it would be somewhat of a gesture to Sylvie that he is not truly aligned with the TVA, thus setting them both apart/ in opposition to it.)

Instead of romance, Sylvie and Loki forge a bond through seeing themselves in each other throughout the series. They talk about the differences in their past and how they got there. They bicker and make each other laugh and rather than Sylvie just insulting Loki, it’s a mutual rapport. Loki gives just as good as he gets and they find they can work better together than apart.

On Lementis, Loki easily gets them into the train by impersonating a guard (or by conjuring tickets).

They talk about magic. How Sylvie is untrained but self taught and doesn’t understand hers very well. Loki can talk about how he views magic/his magic (we can maybe pull a few things from Norse beliefs about seiðr here). Does he view it as a part of himself? Something honed and precise? I want magic to be portrayed as an artful practice, and I want him to help Sylvie understand hers.

Loki gets drunk and they’re kicked out of the train. This reads as funny because Loki will have been sharp and competent throughout the show so far, so him losing his cool and failing the plan is unexpected.

Instead of the Tempad breaking for absolutely no reason, they argue over where to go/ how to use it. This leads to them both having a hand at accidentally destroying it because of self interest and refusing to work together. It illustrates again that they are stronger together but in conflict they are their own worst enemy (much like Loki in general which ties into a bigger metaphor for all his shortcomings).

Expanding on the magic thing, Sylvie and Loki through the series learn from each other. Loki can teach her some of his magic, and Slyvie can teach him enchantment (which he’s read about but never really mastered, although he approaches learning it like any other spell).

Loki could show her an illusion of Asgard as he remembers it. And in doing so we see that both of them long for it. Because for all Loki has claimed to renounce it, he misses home, and he and the audience see the same thing in Sylvie.

I think it would be interesting for Sylvie to let him enchant her, and we can see one of her memories. Maybe it’s when she was taken, maybe it’s on the run, maybe it’s a happy place, but it gives us insight into her character and past. I’m on the fence if Slyvie should enchant Loki, but if she did I’d pick them accidentally going back to the day Odin took him (which is how we deal with the icy blue elephant in the room that the writers refuse to tackle). Let Loki be conflicted and angry and unsure how he feels about it. This could once again be a moment where Loki and Sylvie connect because it’s (I’m assuming) where both their stories began. It’s a mirror of both of their origins, and she helps him see some good in that.

In the void (which is renamed something else so as to not get confused with the void™ that Loki fell into in Thor 2011) Loki learns from and connects with his other variants. They all have a point to being there, and he starts to reflect on what makes him him and what role he wants to play now.

When Sylvie and Mobius show up they agree on the plan to kill Aliyoth, either because it will stop anyone else from being killed by the TVA, or because they think he is guarding the entrance to whoever is behind everything.

Loki later asks Sylvie if she had a Thor. She did but probably doesn’t remember him much. What she does remember, she tells him. Through talking to both Classic Loki and Sylvie it’s recognized that he does miss his brother, that all Loki’s do, and that they are constants meant to aid each other and fight and suffer but always be brothers in any universe.

When they finally fight Aliyoth Loki summons new armor/his helm. Along with Kid Loki giving him Laevateinn, each Loki also gives him something to remember them or aid in their quest (yay Loki solidarity!). When I say this I mean daggers! Daggers dear gods have one of them give him daggers, boy needs some knives.

When they realize they can’t kill him, Sylvie has the idea to use enchantment. Like in the show, Sylvie can’t do it on her own and so they join hands and combine their powers together, revealing the Citadel beyond. They look at each other and agree that they have to move forward.

“Do we trust each other?”

“We do.”

Inside the Citadel we have Kang himself make the offer to give them what they wish. Sylvie can get the life that was stolen from her. Loki could be offered a Throne, he could be offered to be the first born, or to be a true Æsir, or kill Thanos, but ultimately he denies. He’s realized throughout the show that he’d rather be different, he’d rather be him, and he won’t settle for a fantasy world that isn’t real.

The message is about choice, about free will, chaos. Every choice you make directly results in who you become, every action changes how your story goes, and Loki understands that no one has the right to limit that.

In this it is Sylvie though, who is tempted. She has been on a quest for revenge her whole life, she never had a home, doesn’t remember feeling loved, and in the end it is a fight against temptation, and Loki knows all about that.

They fight each other, and break their vow of trust because ultimately they are each other but they are also different. They clash until Loki is able to talk her down, to relate to her, to show that he “just wants her to be okay” and reaffirms her goal. Kang of course continues to be self assured in his predictions. I’d imagine here is where we could get a declarative sort of speech like “I am Loki, God of Mischief,” They join hands “and no one tells our story” or… something to that affect.

Loki and Sylvie fight to destroy Kang together, and here we discover that if he is killed the multiverse opens, and the war of his variants will begin anew. We see flashbacks of Kang’s past and variants played out, and how he came to be at the citadel. Sylvie can talk about why it’s better to have chaos than to sanitize history and kill in the name of the greater good.

The show ends with the death of Kang and the splintering of the timelines. With Sylvie and Loki looking out the window into the fracturing strands of time.

Other changes and thoughts

Tone: the tone I’d imagine this would take on is possibly a bit more serious than the canon show. While it’s still comedy, it would be much less cartoonish, and generally fit in with the rest of the MCU a little easier.

In relation to Mobius:

Mobius’s crisis of faith would be a long time coming. Throughout the show we see him hesitate more and more to do as the TVA asks, and have an increasingly harder time justifying their actions. Learning that the whole thing is a lie is simply the tipping point that drives him to act.

In his confrontation with Renslayer he’d be a lot more driven/succinct. If he wants the TVA to burn then he wants the TVA to burn. He sees the wrongness in it’s entirety and attempts to convince Renslayer the same thing. When it’s clear that she is unreachable/ still sure of her mission, they come to an impasse. They each threaten to prune the other, parallel and matched on opposite sides of their belief. Ultimately though, neither can go through with it, and (if we’re sticking mostly with the canon ending) she leaves through a time door to who knows when to search for who knows what and Mobius and B15 regroup.

In relation to the other Loki’s:

I’m still on the fence how many Loki’s would be played by Tom, but I think the answer is, if not almost all, then at least more than we got.

Each Loki should read as distinctly Loki in essence. Less comic easter eggs and more focus on understanding the established canon character. Even greater in this scene though is the focus on the theme of choice. If there’s time we could learn what choices led up to each variant being apprehended, and see just a bit of how they feel about it. It’s about how our choices dictate who we become, rather than pre-set paths of completely separate realities and lives to our Loki’s.

I love Classic Loki’s speech about how it’s their destiny to play a certain part and if they try and change it the TVA stops them. I’d like our Loki, while conflicted about if he can truly change, to be motivated to try and finally brake the chains that have always restricted him (first his father, then Thanos, now the TVA). I also think here is where we could talk about how abrupt their end is ‘meant’ to be. That he was working on being better, that he had apparently helped his people and reconciled with his brother. That not only was his life cut short, but that the finality of that conclusion wasn’t truly the only way, but simply decided for him.

In relation to themes:

“What makes a Loki a Loki?” Is a question that should loom in the background of the whole series. Starting with Mobius’s interrogation when he’ll begin questioning his place in the universe and his understanding of himself, and ending with the finale confrontation with Kang where he’ll answer it.

“No one bad is ever truly bad, and no one good is ever truly good.” Is similarly something I think should have been a continued focus. Loki is considered a morally grey character and a chaos god, and thus none of his actions are black and white. Others may try and decide who he is at his core, but fundamentally the conclusion is not about deciding to be a hero, but deciding to be true to yourself and doing better.

“The banality of evil” in relation to the TVA. It’s clear from the first ten minutes of the actual show that the TVA is corrupt, unjust, and unnatural in their cleansing of the multiverse… so lean into it! I’m not necessary talking about changing much here, just that the narrative framing displays their actions as deplorable as they are.

“Glorious Purpose” is um… not something I think needed to be the main focus here. I might be biased because I buy into the theory that “you were made to be ruled” “freedom is life’s greatest lie” and “I am burdened with glorious purpose” are messages that have been somewhat impressed upon him rather than beliefs he came to realize on his own, but I do think it was somewhat oversimplified and overused in the series.

You are the writer of your own story. This is the message I expected the show to end with, and it’s what I’m personally trying to convey through these musings. This story ends with Loki taking back his destiny, forging a new one, connecting with himself and others and helping to free the timelines. He’s not the worst things he’s ever done, he’s not a villain, he’s not a benevolent hero. Loki is just Loki, Sylvie is just Sylvie, and you are just you, whoever we decide to be (that was cheesy I’m sorry).

[wolfpawn]

The Nicest Asshole in Hollywood

A story I made up last year but only finished today.

Summary - Tom is known as one of the nicest men to work with and when he finds himself on the set of Loki for Disney+, doing a few scenes with Ben Cumberbatch when his friend speaks with a member of the behind the camera crew who is openly hostile to him. Curious as to why that is, he learns she has a nickname for him, the Nicest Asshole in Hollywood.

NOTE - Swearing. Niamh is pronounced Neev. 10K words.

Tom Hiddleston had a reputation as the nicest guy in Hollywood, in film and the world in general, as of course, he did not simply do Hollywood films, he did shows on the West End, Broadway, etc, he would do anything for the fans, do ComiCons even though he had done all the required ones from his Marvel contract, he was happy to meet the fans and allowed his agent sign him down for more. He knew everyone on every set’s name, from the incredible directors he worked with to the catering staff and errands crew. He personally thanked them all after every production with a bouquet of flowers, or chocolates and a card or something similar that he knew they liked from some passing comment. Film crews were elated to hear when they were working with him, from the camera crew to the costume department. He was always polite and good-natured and the only reason he was ever tardy is because he was being nice to his legions of fans and did not wish to say no to them and when he did arrive, he would be perpetually apologetic with regards to the matter.

*

Benedict chuckled as Tom relayed a story of how Bobby decided he seemed to require a bath in one of the ponds of Hampstead Heath on their last walk there by the manner in which he circled his lead around Tom’s legs and seemed to be trying to cause him to fall into the water. “No offence Tom, but your dog is not an evil genius.” Ben dismissed.

"No, he's not but there are days I am convinced he's not as innocent as you'd think either," Tom countered. He stretched slightly. "I'm getting old," he groaned as he felt his body creak slightly.

"It's the hours sitting around in make-up and costume that's the hardest part, I think." Ben rubbed his Dr Strange goatee before getting to his feet. "I can't believe they dragged me here for this."

“We work too well together,” Tom sighed. “We’re our own worst enemies.” “Yes, I...Well, hello, Stranger.” Ben got out of the chair and embraced a woman who had walks towards them smiling brightly at him. He kissed her cheek as she stepped back. “How are you? I have not seen you in some time.”

“Not since Hal was about to turn two, I think. I’m great, How are you? How is everyone?” She looked directly at Ben as she spoke.

“Good, they’re great. Wow, has it been that long? No, we’re great. Sophie will be elated to hear I saw you. She told me you emailed her last week. We were wondering where in the world you were these days.” “Well, Kate asked me for some help on this and who am I to say no to her?” She smiled. “No, I am starting to get a few new jobs around these parts so I jumped at the chance to get into the MCU again.” “Right, yeah, you helped with the first few movies didn’t you?” “Back before this juggernaut came about. In ye olde days of Paramount doing them. God, if I’d have known this when Favreau asked me onto the first Iron Man set that it would turn into this...it’s insane.”

“You did a few of the first ones, didn’t you?” “Everything up to and including Avengers Assemble, then they went for bigger names when Disney bought in and left little old me to go do my own thing elsewhere,” She confirmed.

“So you know Tom, then?” Ben turned slightly looking to Tom who seemed to realise where he must have recognised the woman from, though he would have thought he would recall her better if she was something to do with directors and they had, at the very least, worked together on two projects with Thor and Avengers. He stood forward slightly to say hello to her but stopped when she looked at him, or more actually, the way she barely even glanced at him.

“Yes, sure I was on War Horse too, you twat, or did you forget that?” She laughed at Ben.

Ben winced. “Fuck, you did. How did I forget that?” “You’re getting senile, what are you now, nearly fifty?” “Fuck off.” He growled. “How dare you? What about you, hit thirty yet?” “Sadly thirty and I met and parted ways a long time ago. I guess I had to grow up and act like an adult at some stage.” Her face was stoic and her eyes flickered to Tom for a moment again before turning to Ben and smiling again. “Well, I best leave you both to get ready for work. It’s great to see you again Ben, hopefully, we’ll have a chance to catch up before you are dashing off again somewhere else for whatever great new thing you do next is.” Her face became more neutral before looking at Tom and giving a slight nod before walking off again.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Ben turned to Tom. “What was that about?” “What?”

“The look she gave you.”

“You’re asking the wrong person there. Why are you asking me as though I’ve done something wrong?” “No one who has worked with Niamh that is in any way nice has ever had a bad word with her, the only ones that she is cold to are the assholes, so why is she cold with you?” “I have no idea. I didn’t even remember her until you mentioned she worked on War Horse with us. Who is she?” “Niamh Murphy, Irish, obviously. She is the ultimate in producers. She can juggle anything, blockbusters, Indie movies, anything. She knows her shit. A director wants something, she has it sorted in nanoseconds, she is literally the best I have ever seen and going by the way you’re looking now, you know the name as well.” “I’ve worked on several movies with her but she never seems to be on set. I only get given scripts and such by her assistants.” Tom recalled seeing her in passing a lot but she rarely seemed to be around.

“I...Niamh is incredibly hands-on. I mean, Spielberg always tries to have her on his work. She was on 1917, she never missed a single day. Same with Imitation Game. She is great. I remember when I was on Atonement, she was the one to help me deal with the scenes where I had to be creepy with Juno Temple. She is great.” Tom frowned slightly. “I don’t know…” “Now I’m curious. Did you shag her once?” “Considering I didn’t even know her name, what do you think?” Tom scanned his memory for the limited times he met her. He recalled sending the thank you card and a small box of chocolates to her assistant on every production he did with her, which albeit did not seem as many as Benedict but he always made sure to think of her, even if he could not tell what she looked like. “I don’t think we even ever shared a conversation.”

“That’s peculiar, I thought you would have gotten on with her, she is a very amiable person. Light-hearted and well-read. I genuinely thought you two would be good friends.”

Ben’s bewildered frown caused Tom to see that this was the honest truth. “I don’t know.” Tom wondered about what he had done.

* “Is that everything, Kate?” Niamh walked over to Herron, handing her the permits she had secured for the use of the town the next week.

“Yes, I...where are you going?” “I have to sort the scripts reprint, there was an issue with Wilson’s, three pages were missing.”

“Just so you know, I am never letting you leave.” Herron declared.

“You know me, I won’t until the last roll of film is packed off to the studio.” Niamh walked around the corner laughing before accidentally colliding with someone. “Shite, I’m sorry.” She pulled back to see who she had crashed into. Her apologetic face became neutral once more on realising who it was. “Sorry.” She sidestepped and made to walk off.

“No, apologies, I…” Tom watched as she did not even look back and walked off without so much as another word, making him wonder what her problem with him was.

* Tom studied the manner in which Niamh Murphy reacted with those on set. It was clear she was well-liked. Everyone she interacted with smiled brightly. Ben was only around for a few days but the interactions he saw between them indicated to a true friendship. Wilson and she rarely spoke, but when they did, it was with smiles and laughter. He watched as she interacted with Kate Herron and again, the pair seemed to get on incredibly well, yet she rarely found her way into his company. A script with the added pages that were missing from a previous copy was handed to him by a set hand yet he watched as she gave Gugu, Wilson and everyone else theirs. He felt equal parts offended and genuinely hurt that he did not seem to even be considered to speak with by her. He wondered if he should mention something to Feige on his next visit to the set but knew better than to do so, there was no chance of getting to the bottom of it if he did. Perhaps it was a misunderstanding on her behalf. He did not wish to risk a woman’s career on something so simple so he decided to see if he could catch her for a moment sometime and see if there was something that needed to be aired. He could think of nothing, he genuinely rarely recalled seeing her. He knew her name but not the face as they never really interacted so he could not think of any such even. She was pretty, not what many would accuse of being a supermodel but she was not ugly by any means. He tried to recall if he drunkenly made a fool of himself in her presence or attempted to come onto her, a recollection of either scenario did not come to the front of his mind.

* His first two attempts failed miserably. She seemed to have an extra sense that seemed to know when he was around and would swiftly scarper on the sight of him in some other direction or if they were on set, she would find herself quickly in need of discussing something of some manner of importance with someone to prevent him from being able to speak with her.

Finally, he decided to grasp an opportunity while she and Ben were saying their goodbyes to one another. Tom walked over purposely before Niamh could realise he was there. When she ceased speaking to Ben for a moment, he smiled politely at the pair. “Ben, I know you need to speak with Ms Murphy, but I was wondering if I may have a moment of her time?” He gave his friend a pleading look.

Ben, knowing Tom’s attempts to get to the bottom of the Irishwoman’s lack of time for him, nodded slightly. “I’ll…” “That’s alright, Ben. You don’t have to go anywhere. I cannot think of anything Mr Hiddleston has to say that cannot be said in front of you.” She looked at Tom challengingly.

“I would rather…” He decided that it did not matter. “Very well, I must ask, Ms Murphy, have I done something in our time on set here to offend you in some manner?” Her face was unreadable for a moment before she answered. “On this set, no, nothing.” Tom studied her words. “And on previous sets on which we have shared employment?” She did not answer which in itself was her answer. “Can I ask as to what I did to cause you to do everything in your power to not have anything to do with me?” She seemed to contemplate saying something as she chewed on her cheeks. “Please. I only wish to right a wrong if there is one. I cannot recall such an occurrence but since it clearly had a lasting impression on you, I rather just understand how best to rectify it.” “And were I to not wish for any such rectifications?”

“Please, I just want to know what it is that caused this animosity towards me, surely if you are to actively avoid me, I should know as to why?” Tom felt himself get slightly annoyed by her dismissiveness. The look she gave him made him see that she genuinely disliked him. Part of him hoped it was she had some form of crush or something on him and was keeping her distance as a result but such thoughts died a swift and brutal death on seeing how she looked at him.

“Of course, you would not even remember. I need to ask, Mr Hiddleston, do you recall working on Thor with me, do you remember me being on set? Do you recall that I was there the day you came in for the Thor audition before Ken suggested instead that you try for Loki?”

He frowned and tried to recall those that were in the room, the casting director, Kenneth Brannagh, and two of the screenplay writers, Ashley Miller and Don Payne. There may have been more but he could not recall them odd the top of his head. He shook his head slightly.

“I recall you, though. I remember saying to Ken that you’d be a terrible Thor but you could be dangerous as Loki. You’d give the character sympathy from the audience. To this day, Ken reminds me how right I was.”

Tom did not know what to say to that. Her clear pride in her prediction was blatant.

“Then came time to actually film it, you and Hemsworth, no one knew who either of you were, not unless they watched Home and Away or that show you did with Ken, the name eludes me now. I came to you to give you your schedule, not usually the duty of a producer, I know, but I stated I was heading to the costume department, which was quite close to your trailer and Ken asked me to do so. I was too new to the career to decline such an easy request and Ken is a lovely man, why would I decline such a reasonable one? I get close to your trailer and hear you talking through an open window of it and am elated to know I won't be waking you from a nap or anything only to hear you speaking to Megan, one of the makeup girls. Only I was accidentally made privy to a little conversation between yourself and Ms Reynolds, more accurately, your combined thoughts of those you found yourself working with for the production.”

Tom swallowed slightly, he could not recall the conversation itself but he recalled the very pretty make-up artist he had slept with early in production, something he regretted later. He did it because he had broken up with his long-term girlfriend not long before and was feeling a little lonely over in the US by himself and she was beautiful and fun. He worried about what was to come, he glanced slightly to the side to see Ben looking at him very curiously to see if he knew what was to come next. To his shame and worry, Tom didn’t.

“So Hemsworth got a pass, Hopkins, Russo, Portman, all lovely things. Ken got a glowing review, as did the writers, then you came to, and I quote ‘That girl who looked like one of your little sister’s stupid colourful ponies from when she was a kid’.”

Tom bit his lips together. That was why he did not recognise her as well as he should have from Thor. When she did Thor, she had bright-coloured hair, pink with purple and blue. Most of the set thought it odd. Such hair was common now but she did it before such was popular but he remembered saying it now, he remembered his bed partner laughing as she had made the initial comment on Niamh but he had added to it. Looking at the face of the woman he had so rudely ridiculed now, he could see she had clearly been hurt for a time before she turned such hurt to utter indifference of him. “I…” He looked at Ben who seemed both shocked Tom would say such a thing and slightly angered that he had. He could not think of something to say bar the obvious. “I can only apologise, wholeheartedly. I’m sorry.”

Niamh said nothing in return.

“Niamh,” Ben interjected. “It was years ago, please don’t allow one stupid remark taint working with him. He’s not usually that much of a twat, I can assure you.” “I didn’t. After all, when Steven mentioned what he wanted for Captain Nichols, who do you think recommended one of the most talented emotionally expressive actors they had worked with for the job once I saw the name on the list of potentials? I pleaded with him to listen.”

Both Tom and Ben did not know what to say to that. Working with Spielberg was something Tom had only dreamed of, doing so when he had only been working in Hollywood for a mere moment seemed surreal yet he had and it remained a defining moment in his life. To think the woman he had insulted so horribly had fought for him to get the roles. He could not even force himself to speak.

“Tom is a great gentleman, Niamh, I know you have been exposed to something to the contrary, but he is.” Ben gave Tom a slight glare as he spoke but beseeched Niamh to consider not being so focused on the past.

“Yes, hence my nickname for him.” Niamh gave a false smile.

“Nickname?” Ben knew her cutting wit, he feared what was to come.

“Yes,” She turned to look at Tom, who was considerably taller than her in the eye. “The Nicest Asshole in Hollywood.” With that, she turned and walked away. “And stop giving me cards and chocolate when we work together, don’t waste your money.” She called behind her as she walked off.

Tom and Ben remained in silence for several moments before Ben turned and looked at a suitably embarrassed Tom. “Well, there’s your answer.”

Tom looked at his hands. “I just...I never knew…” “It was unfortunate for you that when you were ridiculing someone, she just so happened to arrive.” Ben was forced to admit it was terrible timing. “I didn’t put you down as someone to bitch people.” “I don’t, you know me.” “I do and the guy I know wouldn’t ridicule a woman in her early twenties for having some fun by colouring her hair, yet you did that. I can’t imagine how hurtful that was, then to add insult to injury, you gave her cards and chocolate after saying those things, acting like it wasn’t a big deal all while she recommended you to Speilberg and in turn, began our friendship even though she was insulted so deeply by it.” Ben shook his head. “You never even remembered saying it.”

“I didn’t recognise her.” Tom tried to justify himself. “Her hair was short and rainbow-coloured before.” “She dyed it back to normal about six years ago if my memory serves me correctly. That doesn’t excuse you saying it though.”

“I need to make this right.” Tom paced back and forth for a moment.

Ben eyed him warily. “How do you mean ‘make it right’? Tom, I love Niamh, she is a wonderful person and a true friend, but she is the most incredibly stubborn person I have ever met. If she doesn’t want to know you, then you are not going to change that, especially with her reaction just there, I don’t see her warming up to you any time soon.”

Tom’s head fell slightly. “I have to do something.”

Ben said nothing more but slapped Tom’s shoulder before walking off.

*

“I have the permit right here.” Niamh pulled out the required piece of paper and looked it over. “Yes, it has the times specifically on it and states we can shoot at that hour, stamped and everything.” She turned slightly to see a shadow beside her, when she noticed who it was she gave a polite smile. “Yes, I will fax that over as soon as I can so you have a paper copy but I will email it to you this second as well so we are all set. Great, thanks, bye.” She took the phone from her ear. “One second, Ben. I just need to sort this, then I am all yours.” “Don’t let Sophie hear you say that.” He joked causing Niamh to laugh slightly. When she sent the email she wished to send, she looked at him to show he had her undivided attention. “This is a great script, but is it the one I was supposed to get because it matches no one else’s? Is this like the movies where we all don’t know what anyone else is doing?” “Shit, let me see.” She scanned the details on the second page. “No, this was actually the original plan for the episode but it was changed because, as much fun as it is, it makes about as much sense as an elephant on a unicycle.” Ben chuckled at her analogy. “This has been missing and an aide is at risk of losing their job because of it so it is great to have it back and for it to have been with you so we know none of the details will get out.”

“The secret is safe with me.”

“Your lines were one of the few things not changed, so if you’ve learnt them, great, if not, I will deliver your actual script to you myself in half an hour. I just need to find the Gaffer and threaten his life first because he is giving lip about doing his actual bloody job.”

“No better woman.” Ben paused for a moment. “Niamh?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She didn’t look at him as she spoke.

“I’m sorry, for what he said.” “You don’t have to apologise for other people’s words, Ben. When we met, you joked about my hair to my face, with a playful smile and no malice. You know I don’t care about other people’s opinions, I never cared if anyone else liked my hair or not, it was the two-facedness of it I had an issue with. Lovely to my face before, saying that and polite smiles and cards after. No, you know me, I am completely okay with people not liking me. I respect honesty.” Ben conceded it was true. He had heard her talking to Sophie before about a director that she worked with that was professional with her at work but made no effort to pretend they were amicable outside of it and she was entirely happy with that, she knew where she stood and was alright with it. “It’s not like him.” “It doesn’t matter. I will murder the Gaffer, hide the body and have that script to you in the half-hour, alright? Excuse me, and if you’re talking to your wife, tell her I will post them to her tomorrow, she knows what I am on about.” “Stop buying our sons everything you see, you’ll be broke and we’ll need a bigger house,” Ben pleaded.

“Never.” She laughed before walking off.

Ben could only shake his head.

* “Coming.” Niamh rushed to the door and opened it before even looking to see who was on the other side, when she saw who it was, her light smile became cold. “Mr Hiddleston, is there an issue that cannot wait until set tomorrow?” Her voice was professional but very much making it clear she was not overly interested in speaking with him.

“I just wished to ask you something on the third page of my script…” Niamh stepped to the side to allow him to enter. Tom did so, noticing that, unlike his big suite, she was in a normal small room which startled him. The small table and chair by the window were covered in all sorts of paperwork as well as binders and folders and paper trays filled with different sheets and booklets and the small desk area that held the tv and tea and coffee supplies was set up like a desk with a laptop, a tablet and a printer, along with further paperwork. “Excuse the mess. I apologise, the man on scripts is new to the scene so he is still finding his feet. It has led to more than a few errors. What seems to be the issue?”

Tom was startled by her professionalism even with the new knowledge that she was anything but fond of him. “There is a significant portion missing. I go from being confronted to being in handcuffs without any form of explanation or even a scene cut.” He pulled out the script. “I apologise for bothering you but Karen is dealing with another matter and asked that I come to you.” “It’s fine, it’s my job.” She took the script from him and scanned through it. “Yes, this is indeed missing an essential part of the scene, I can only apologise for that.” “So this isn’t the only script with issues?” Tom took the small moment to speak with her.

“I wish. No, we are just having a few speedbumps with him being so fresh. I am not sure how he is doing this so early but he isn’t a bad guy, just inexperienced.” “Weren’t we all at the beginning?” Niamh paused and looked up, noting the smile on his face, it was polite and friendly. “Indeed.” She found another copy of the script for the entire episode and scanned through a few pieces to see if they were all there. “That should be correct. I can only apologise to you, Mr Hiddleston for the cock-up.” She extended her hand with the script in towards him.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to apologise, it’s not even your job. You’re just the one cleaning up all the messes.”

“Well, that is the role of the Producer.”

“I don’t know how you do it. We learnt behind the camera roles in college but seeing what you do...I could not do it.” “Perhaps it is fortunate, then, that they fall to my lot instead of yours.”

Tom paused for a moment as he thought of where he knew that phrase from. “That’s...Pride and Prejudice, isn’t it?”

Niamh’s brows rose, impressed at him for getting it right. “You are correct.”

Tom’s chest puffed out slightly in pride at being correct. He saw at that moment what Ben had been saying when he said that he would enjoy Niamh’s company, she was an intelligent and able woman, someone he could genuinely enjoy the company of.

Niamh watched Tom’s reactions carefully, something she had done after hearing his mocking words about her years before on the set. He had been so polite which angered her all the more. Even now, after being told why she was not overly fond of him, he was being sickeningly polite. “If that is everything…” She half regretted saying it the moment she saw his face alter slightly.

“Ms Murphy, I feel I need to apologise…” “I honestly do not wish to hear it. You apologised already.” “And you do not accept it?” “I’m not obliged to. I accept it, I simply do not wish to be overly friendly with you, Mr Hiddleston. We have very different ideas as to how to interact with people. I have no time for two-faced people, never have.” “But you recommended me…” “My personal thoughts on you do not take from your abilities as an actor. You were ideal for the role.” “Thank you. I...With everything that happened, you may not realise it but you caused me to fulfil a life’s dream to work with Spielberg.” “Steven is an incredible man. I can’t imagine that many would not wish to work with him.”

“I’m sorry,” Tom repeated.

“I honestly don’t know if you realise how much you apologise.” It had been something she realised he was prone to doing.

“I think it more warranted now than ever. I sincerely apologise for saying such horrible things about you. I know you don’t believe me, but I never should have said them and my reasoning for such makes it all the worse.”

That caused Niamh to frown. “I know I am going to regret asking, but why did you refer to it like that?”

“I was never the most attractive person.” Niamh’s brow rose. “No, I am serious, I only had two girlfriends in my life before I became famous, well, even fewer now but I was never overly popular with them. I broke up with my only ever serious girlfriend before Thor because our lives went on different paths and I did not wish to hurt her. It was clear after Wallander, she did not want to wait around, you know?” Niamh found herself nodding, wonder if he would ever get to the point. “Then suddenly, women were interested in me, very beautiful women, and I thought I should entertain their thoughts so they would remain so, even when they were unfounded and wrong.”

“Wow, so you had no issues with my rainbow, or as it’s called now, my ‘My Little Pony’ hair, but said you did because you wanted a good ride?” Tom nodded ashamedly. “You’re an even bigger asshole than I thought.” She walked over to the door. “What makes this worse is I actually liked working with you before that. Ken spoke so highly of you, I looked forward to it. Having to politely smile as Ben spoke of you with nothing but the highest of praise, knowing you were an ass behind it, now to know it was only so you could get some cow into bed that I know from hearing it with my own ears that Ms Reynolds thought little of you too, only the size of your dick preceded you and her curiosity got the better of her. You’ll be glad to know she seemed satisfied with your size.” She put her hand on the handle of the door. “If there is nothing more.”

“I’m sorry.” Tom walked forward. “So you said.”

“But for the added insult also.” “Well, I always wondered why. I wished to find out why me but as they say, be careful what you wish for,” She opened the door slightly. “But I appreciate your honesty, even if it is ten years after.”

Tom felt worse. “I’m so sorry. If there is anything I can do to make it up to you?”

“Can I ask why this matters to you now? In ten years, you never cared, why now?” “Something Ben said, about how he always thought we would have got along well.” “He said that over the years to me also but such is life. I doubt you will lose too much sleep over it.” “Well, it made me realise something, how I lost out on something great.” “I am not an easy lay, sadly. Unlike Reynolds, I tend to choose my partners with some manner of standard, she simply goes for everyone.” “It is not that I wished to sleep with you.” “Then what about me could ever have possibly interested you?” “Your friendship. Ben swore you were a true friend and I truly feel like I messed up my chance to have one in you.” He walked towards the door before looking at her. “I honestly feel terrible for what I said and for their effect on you. I should never have said them. I apologise for my insulting you further with my gifts of thanks when I had been so callous so unjustly. I am sorry.” He swallowed hard. “I wish I had been a better man and not been so stupid, I let my crotch dictate over my mind and I hurt you and ruined my chance to make a true friend and for that, I don’t think I will ever stop apologising.” He toyed with the script in his hand and walked closer to the door. “I am sorry for taking up so much of your evening.”

“It’s fine.”

Something came to Tom at that moment as he went to walk past her. “I don’t recall see you at Ben and Sophie’s wedding.”

“Perhaps you were not looking well enough. I was there. We actually were staying in the same hotel. But then again, I am good at blending into the background.” She opened the door. “Good evening, Mr Hiddleston.” “Good evening, Ms Murphy.” * “Mr Cumberbatch, I come bearing gifts.” Ben turned and chuckled on seeing Niamh holding a takeaway coffee tray in her hands. “One oat milk latte, ethically sourced, no cow, children or ants harmed in the making of this coffee. Only the environment from shipping it from South America to our pathetic asses here.”

“Thank you. And what about your drink? I would wager you negated all my good work with that. Is that cow’s milk I smell?” “Full-fat cow’s milk.” Ben’s nose scrunched at the thought. “Hey, I don’t shit on your diet, you have no right comment on mine.” “You mock mine all the time or are you forgetting the time you actually paid money to have a bag of rabbit food made and my portion requirements printed onto the damn thing?” Niamh snorted at the memory. “That was brilliant. I am so glad I was able to finally use those stupid maths from school and put them to some use.” “How did you get my weight?” “Your lovely wife.”

“Was she in on it?” Ben asked, remembering Sophie’s reaction to the bag he showed her.

“Hell, no. She’d never have been able to keep it quiet.” Niamh laughed for a moment before noting someone close by. “Mr Hiddleston.” She saluted politely. “I am not aware of your coffee preferences, so I hope you don’t mind if I only got you a plain black coffee.”

Tom frowned, unsure if it was some sort of joke but seeing her extend her hand with the beverage in it, he took it. “Thank you so much. I take a little almond milk usually.” “Oh God, don’t tell me you’re a vegan as well. Has he forced you to?” She indicated to Ben. “Blink twice for yes. I know he’s a pain for that.” “No, thankfully he sees me as half trying.” Tom chuckled, noting Ben’s frown at the two of them.

“I don’t even try. My mother is okay with a lot. My lack of partners has even had her sit me down and ask if I am and I quote “more interested in women” and how that would be fine but if I went home to my beef and dairy farming father and said I was a vegan, I would be disowned.”

“I really don’t know if you’re kidding when you say that,” Ben commented, drinking some of his drink.

“No, I’m serious, even vegetarianism would not be overly welcomed. I wouldn’t do it anyway, dinner is not dinner if it doesn’t have some form of meat on the plate in my opinion.” “My father says the exact same thing. One of my sisters is vegetarian,” Tom didn’t know why but speaking to her seemed so easy. Usually, his guard was up when speaking to new people at first but she seemed so honest.

“Smart man.” Niamh didn’t even look at him before taking her own coffee and throwing the cup holder in the recycling bin. “I better go and pray to some ancient God that no one is looking for me to perform miracles today. I mean, I am probably more likely to find gold or the secrets of the universe, but I can dream, right? See everyone later and if you have a script issue, I don’t actually care anymore, ad-lib it. You know the general gist of the scene at this stage, just wing it. Just don’t come to me about it.” “Was the coffee merely to tell us that?” Ben laughed. “Yes, yes it was. In the kindest way possible.”

Ben chuckled again. “Tom wouldn’t say no to my drink next time, just so you know.” “I’ll keep that in mind,” Niamh called back.

“You’ll need to start a tab though,” Ben warned.

“I’ll just add it to yours. I think you owe me circa two hundred thousand at this stage.”

Ben scoffed as she left. “I think that to be a conservative estimate.” He turned to Tom. “Right, explain.” “What?” “Don’t ‘what’ me. Why is the woman who as she likes to put it ‘Wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire’, getting you coffee?” “I honestly have no idea. I had a script issue, a genuine one and I was told by Herron to go to her about it, so very coyly, I did. There was some talking, mostly me apologising and her indicating that she was not interested and then I left.” “What exactly did you apologise for?” Ben asked.

“I said that I regretted my actions, how I should never have been so shallow and that I wish I had not cost myself the opportunity of such a good friend. That you never stopped singing her praises, how she is a true friend and I messed up the chance of such, for no good reason and that was a pity.” Tom regaled him. “She seemed more annoyed than anything at my explanation.

Ben did not know what to say. “It appears to have meant something to her if she actually acknowledges your existence now. Look, Niamh likes honesty, no BS. She’ll be entirely honest with you. She has a saying she picked up somewhere. ‘I can be honest or I can save your feelings, I can’t always do both’ and she means it and not maliciously. Sophie always feels her opinion means a lot because it’s never out of wanting to hurt you or placate you but actually being honest with you. You don’t get that much on our lives. It’s refreshing, really.”

Tom nodded. Through most of the worst decisions he made, people around him had mostly remained silent. When said bad decisions erupted or fell apart, they then made comments about how they knew such would happen or they had seen it coming but yet had said nothing to him. When asked why they had not said anything, they mostly said that they were his mistakes to make or that they didn’t see it as their place even when more than once, he had specifically asked for their opinions. He wanted a friend like Niamh, who would tell you to your face that she loved you deeply, cared for you and would be there for you as a friend but that what you were doing was fucking stupid. More than once he had heard of her saying that to Ben or Sophie and was envious, he hoped the day would come he could have such words with her too.

*

“Ms Murphy.” Niamh was visibly wincing as she turned to face him. “If I could have a moment of your time, please.”

“Is it about the script, because I honestly was not joking earlier when I said to start ad-libbing.”

Tom chuckled. “I gathered such, and no, it’s not about the script.” She sighed in relief. “Then how can I assist you?” “It’s about my dog.” She looked at him curiously. “I am needed to film on the next location soon, as you, of course, know since you booked it but I don’t want to leave him behind here in a strange kennels in a strange country for a fortnight, it’s not fair on him but according to some of the staff, he is not insured to be on the next location and I was told that if anyone could sort that...” “Okay, get his details for me, age, breed, name and I will have him added but I am going to have to warn you, if you’re easily offended, you’re not going to like that he comes under the same category of property as your laptop and phone and such and I know he’s a living breathing thing and family and all but he is legally classed as property. Also, you will have to sign a form stating that should he become harmed on site, it is your responsibility as a dog is the responsibility of the owner, so he has to be in your control at all times and if he bites, you are entirely liable, not the studio. Understood?” “Perfectly. He’s a great dog, you won’t have to worry. Thank you so much.” “It’s fine, email me the details. “ She handed him her business card. “And I will have that sorted immediately. I will print the form there now, in a minute.”

“Thank…’now, in a minute’...that makes...that doesn’t make any sense.” Tom frowned at the words she had used.

“Nope, not to your lot but in Ireland, it’s a completely acceptable sentence. Welcome to your first class in Hiberno-English.” She shrugged before making a note of what Tom needed.

“Hiberno?” “Comes from the Latin, Hibernia, meaning…” “Winter, well, hibernus, hiberna, hibernum, pending gender of it.” She raised a brow. “I studied Latin in college, sorry. So what is winter-English?” “I studied it in secondary.” She shrugged. “And yes, they mean winter, but Hibernia is the Latin for Ireland so Hiberno-English is a subsection of Irish specific English language.” She explained.

Tom, having never known that, decided to check if that was true or if she was pulling his leg as soon as he was alone. “I didn’t know that.” “They don’t teach you everything in your fancy posh English colleges, in fact, they teach you nothing when it comes to Ireland, hence the blissful ignorance of most British people to your close neighbour.”

“I cannot argue that, my knowledge comes from my brother-in-law who was born there but moved to Britain when he was young and the one time I was there for filming a movie, High-Rise.” “J. G. Ballard’s book, right?” “Yes.”

“I read that, very...obscure.” “Definitely, but fun to film.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it.” She received an email on her phone. “I won’t take up any more of your time, Mr Hiddleston. I will have that matter dealt with immediately so to ensure your furry friend is allowed to join you and I will again reiterate, don’t bother me with scripts. I am at risk of going sniper in a belltower at this stage from it all.” She joked.

“I will run and hide. And thank you for sorting Bobby, and for the coffee earlier.”

“It’s my job so don’t worry about it.”

*

Tom found that slowly, Niamh was not avoiding him as noticeably. Her assistant handed him the form for Bobby and when he had signed it, told him that if he had any concerns, that Niamh would deal with them directly. A definite step in the direction he had wanted. Slowly, the small talk started, then some joking. Her initial hesitation decreasing and her smiles and playful looks increased.

When it came time to go to the new location a month later, the jeeps were being packed and he was surprised to go to the one he was meant to be brought in only to see the Irishwoman in the driving seat. “Hello.” “How are things?” “Good, thank you.” Tom opened the back door and told Bobby to get in before using the harness he was wearing to clip him into the centre seat. “Is it okay if I go in the front or would you rather I sit here with him?” “Are we the only two for this car?” “I think so. I think Natalia was meant to come too but she hates dogs so she is going with Kate instead.” “As long as he is okay in the back by himself, I can’t see why you can’t.” Tom ensured Bobby was secured and then went to the front seat, securing his own seatbelt as he did. “He is used to being in the front seat next to me but he’ll be fine. Thank you again for securing his coming with me.”

“Sure, it’s not fair on him to be shoved into kennels.” She looked back at the dog who seemed to be incredibly eager to get on the road. “He’s cute. Bobby, wasn’t it?” “That’s him and he’s great.” Tom beamed brightly. “Aren’t you, Boy?”

Bobby sneezed and continued to sit with his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth immediately after as his response.

“I think someone needs some air conditioning. It is sort of hot here for four-legged passengers.” Niamh started the car and turned on the air. “Fix it according to his needs, it’s only fair.” “Thank you.”

“Any time.” * The journey to the next location was a good five hours long, made longer by Niamh getting out of the car every hour or so to stretch her legs and to allow Bobby a few moments to relieve himself.

“He can hold it a little longer between stops.” Tom offered. “It’s not nice for him. He needs a drink and some stretching. I wouldn’t do it with my own.” “You have a dog?” “Yeah, he’s with my parents on the farm while I’m here. Long-haired German Shep. Too used to his temperate Irish climate for this hellish climate. He likes to lie on frozen grass, not scorching heat so I thought it would be cruel to bring him over.” “Do you miss him?” “More than I could ever miss a person.”

Tom smiled at how she spoke. It was the same for him with Bobby. When he had a few days of work that he could not bring him on, he only cared about that first moment they were back together again, Bobby excited to see him and that rub and kiss to the top of his head. “I understand that. They’re honest. They like you or hate you. No…” He stopped and realised the irony of his words.

“Don’t you dare apologise again or I swear, I will leave you at this rest stop,” Niamh growled. “I couldn’t be listening to you. I get it, you’re sorry.”

“I am.” She glared at him. “I didn’t say it.” “Say what?” she challenged.

“I am not falling for that.” Seeing the playful grin on her face as a result, he chuckled. “Ben was right about you.” “Ben tends to be right about a lot of things, other than food choices.”

Tom laughed. “I am not disagreeing.”

They got Bobby sorted back in the car and started their journey again.

“Can I ask you something personal?” Tom enjoyed comfortable silences. He did not need to fill every minute with chat and noise for the sake of it but he did want to learn more about Niamh. They had worked together more times than he had realised. She had gone out of her way to actually push his name forward for more than one role and now that she was not giving him hate-glares, she seemed genuinely very interesting.

“That sounds incredibly dubious.” “It’s about your career, not your intimate personal life, I promise.”

She glanced at him for a moment. “Most people would assume my answer to have meant ‘go ahead, ask about my intimate relations with others’ or something to that effect rather than reassure me it is not as worrisome.” “I pride myself in not assuming the meaning of a non-straightforward answer.”

“Well, so long as it is not about my very personal parts of my personal life, you may.”

“How did you manage to get into producing and get so far so young?” “You mean how did I get to achieve what I did before being ancient with no actual links to Hollywood?” Tom nodded. “I actually do. My godfather.” Tom frowned. “My mam’s big brother is a Dublin man by the name of Brendan Gleeson, you may know him.”

“Ah, yes, I know of him. Large red-haired fellow. His son is in a lot of movies too.” “Yes. I got into a film school back home, studied what I needed to, then was very fortunate to have worked with Uncle Brendan and Domhnall when they did a few bits and was able to learn what I needed to learn on the job and was very lucky that a low budget movie wanted someone with a bit of cop on and a small price tag, I was recommended and it snowballed. I was very lucky. Right place at the right time to get my name in the hat and the fact I actually get shit done means I got great names liking me and boom, here I am, no dodgy black leather casting couch moments, thank God.”

Tom’s eyes widened at the reference she made.

“Yes, I know that may seem crass but I know how many people are forced to do such things just to get their name in the door and I was so lucky that Brendan promised my mam he would look out for me. It’s not always the nicest industry.” “Sadly not.” Tom acknowledged. “I know for women especially, there’s a far shadier side of the industry.” “Now, of course, I am accused of nepotism by some, but I obviously have a different surname and my dad’s brown hair negated my mam’s ginger so people don’t realise it but Uncle Brendan just kept an eye on me, he never had the big enough name to demand I get work. People just realised the working our asses off is a family trait when they realise we’re related.”

“It’s not like you can help that he’s an actor. A producer is different.” Tom pointed out. “As I said before, I did some of this in college and being honest, I cannot, for one-second grasp how you do it. Looking at a camera and running lines seems so easy in comparison.” “I couldn’t do that, I love organising too much. My dad used to laugh at me for how I organised the calf registration every year. Apparently, the local vets were gutted when I moved to London because my dad’s forms went back to making no sense and don’t even start on the Department of Agriculture, I got more calls about those forms the first Spring I lived in Britain. I had to actually start taking a week off in Spring to go home for a week to help Dad. Especially when they put everything online, he was gone altogether then.”

Seeing her laugh at family memories, Tom smiled. He had absolutely no knowledge of farming practice, he was not of that background, but clearly, Niamh loved it. “Do you find your name causes issues?” “Only for idiots. I mean, when I first start on a set, there can be a few mishaps. I have been called. Nie-am a lot or Nie-am-huh but when you tell people your name a few times and refuse to acknowledge incorrect versions after that, you find they learn it very quickly then.”

“I find Irish names fascinating. They don’t sound like they are spelt.”

“It’s not a phonetic language.” She shrugged. “My cousins, my family, all of us, we all have Irish names. My brother Aidan, most people get that. Then there’s my idiot cousin Domhnall, you all know him from the few things he is in, he’s sound. Tara is my sister, her name is easy too.”

“Yes. I’m afraid my mother and father kept it very simple. Emma, Tom and Sarah.” “Nothing wrong with that either. So, now, my turn. How does the son of a pharmacist or something to that effect, according to Ben, become an actor?” “My mother was a stage director for years.” “Ah, that explains it. Got the bug from that, then?” “Yes, was it like that for you and your uncle?” “Yes, we went to see them filming Michael Collins when I was a teenager, it’s an Irish film and I was behind the camera watching everyone running around. I am shit at acting, I can’t do the small nuances needed but I love behind the camera and there was this man by the name of Stephen Woolley, I worked with him a few times since he explained to me what was going on. He knows Uncle Brendan and he saw I was interested so he explained what was happening. All growing up, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I got the usual nudges you expect from your Irish farming parents, nursing, teaching, you know but they never appealed to me and that day, it all just clicked immediately. I figured out what I wanted. I did all the research, my mam literally drove me to Uncle Brendan’s the day I told her and he had me go through everything. Domhnall is the same age and he already had it in his head that he was going to be involved in film too so we both ended up studying filming in college and both ended up on opposite sides of the camera in the end, both very happy with our respective decisions. He started in directing and writing but found his way in front of the camera while I am still incredibly happy behind it.” “That’s great that you have family support, I found that important too. Though, my dad took some convincing.”

“I suppose he blamed your mum?”

“Yes, actually. That and my flair for dramatics as a youngster. Dad’s side are…”

Tom began into his background, keeping an eye on Niamh’s reactions to see if she was merely placating him or bored but the polite questions from time to time implied she was paying enough attention to spur him into speaking more.

“I am sorry if I bored you.” “It’s fine, I actually liked getting all this dirty lowdown on you so I can now force you to do as I say on the sets we share in the future.”

It was clear that she was joking causing Tom to chuckle. “So, that’s your secret.” “Yes, people don’t like me, they fear me and being actors, they hide it well.”

Tom laughed again before shaking his head. “Ten years, I missed ten years of your sense of humour for a stupid comment.”

Niamh threw her head back in frustration. “God, I am going to go back to not talking to you if you keep harping on about this, I swear to fuck.” Tom looked at her guiltily. “I’m serious, Elsa, let it go...I...oh, I am definitely going to call you that from now on if you don’t stop apologising.”

Tom hoped she was not being serious but he was grateful it was better than her last nickname for him and he looked forward to seeing if she was because she genuinely seemed like a good friend and it was unusual to feel as though he could be open with someone. He had not felt he could leave his walls down to a new person in years.

When they arrived at their destination, Tom made a slight joke about her driving.

“You know you’re an asshole, right?” She scoffed.

“I may be, but at least I am the Nicest Asshole in Hollywood.”