#and you can BET YOUR ASS THAT I DID

[salstray]

GOD THAT POST ABOUT DESTINY 2

it reminded me how much i loved that game. how much i loved the forsaken dlc.

it also remidned me that i will STILL CRY ACTUAL TEARS if I think about Cayde-6 for too long

[irenespring]

Today I would like to shout out that one random Twitter person who made up that JD Vance bragged about fucking a couch.

Imagine making a random shitpost and less than two months later your joke is being used by a major party nominee for Vice President on live television at his introduction rally, earning him thunderous applause.

That poster must be having quite the experience.

[ohitslen]

Pretty boy beard agenda

Idk what this is supposed to be but have this low effort and quality thing

[theladyofbloodshed]

Featuring Nesta Archeron as the beautiful, but witchy leading lady and Eris Vanserra as the tall, quirky investigator.

Chapter 1 of 6

In the bosom of a spacious cove, which indented the eastern shore of the Hudson, lay a small market-town or rural port, which by some is called Greensburgh, but it is more generally and properly known by the name of Tarry Town. Not far from this village, perhaps about two miles, there was a little valley, or rather lap of land, amongst high hills. It was one of the quietest places in the whole world. A small brook glided through it, with just a murmur enough to lull one to repose; and the occasional whistle of a quail, or tapping of a woodpecker, was almost the only sounds that ever broke in upon the uniform tranquillity.

Along one side of the valley was a grove of tall walnut-trees. If one ever wished for a retreat, to steal from the world and its distractions or to dream quietly away the remnant of a troubled life, no land was more promising than the little value. From its listless repose and the peculiar nature of its inhabitants, the sequestered glen was long known by the name of Sleepy Hollow.

A drowsy, dreamy influence seemed to hang over the land and to pervade the very atmosphere. Some say the land was bewitched by an ancient settler. The place held a spell over the minds of the good people, causing them to walk in a continual reverie.

Others held the view that the land was cursed.

It was on the first Monday of the tenth month that Eris Crane was called upon to attend matters in Sleepy Hollow from the constabulary department of New York City. Three murders, most vile, had occurred. A father, a son, and a widow, all murdered. Such crimes occurred regularly, as was the state of the world, but three murders within a week in the small glen of Sleepy Hollow was unheard of.

Eris turned the missive over in his hands as the carriage rattled over uneven stones.

Three bodies. Decapitation. No blood loss. Heads not recovered.  

The decapitation did not move him, however the missing heads did. A lack of blood loss did not marry together with arterial bleeding either.

Eris Crane would solve this mystery, for all unexplained situations were merely waiting to be unravelled.

When his carriage stopped, the dark had settled into the peaceful village. A chill was in the air of Sleepy Hollow. Tendrils of mist stroked the hard earth as he pressed a coin into the hand of the driver then proceeded towards the home of the town’s lord and lady – Rhysand and Feyre Van Tassel.

A party was being had. Lights lit up all of the downstairs windows and music seeped towards him. Eris was not a man who revelled. The arts were a waste of an education. He would make his greetings then depart to his room using the excuse of a long day of travel to escape.

A circle had formed where a young woman was blindfolded. A tall, strapping male with an arrogant gloat about him held her by the shoulders to spin her five times before releasing her into the centre with a low laugh.

‘The pickety witch,’ she said. ‘The pickety witch. Who’s got a kiss for the pickety witch?’

As she spoke, she made lunges for people who dodged her with a giggle. Eris, whom the game was unknown to, remained rooted to the floor as she grasped his waistcoat.

‘Aha. Who do I have?’

Her cold, delicate hands roved over his face while the circle fell silent. Even with the blindfold on, Eris could make out the scrunch of her forehead.

A child cried, ‘A kiss! A kiss!’

‘She has to guess first,’ replies a woman, with pleated curls and dark eyes.

Reverently, the woman caresses his face one more time. It was most unusual for Eris who had not been touched with any sort of warmth since the day he entered an orphanage in the heart of the city.

‘Is it Azriel?’

Laughter ripples about the circle.

‘Pardon, ma’am. I am only a stranger,’ replied Eris.

‘Then have a kiss on account.’

She cupped his face again then tipped up onto her toes to press a chaste kiss to his lips. When the woman released him, she peeled away the blindfold. She was the most beautiful woman Eris had ever seen. Her eyes swirled with a silver glow. Her fair hair reminded him of the luminescence of the moon. It was braided neatly into a coronet to highlight the elegant angles of her face. His eyes traced her skin, followed the downward curve of her neck towards-

Eris swallowed and tore his eyes away from the pale blue gown and ample chest.

She did not smile or laugh as the others did, but regarded Eris as one might an opponent.

‘I am searching for Rhysand Van Tassel.’

‘I am his wife’s sister, Nesta Van Tassel. Upon their marriage, he took our family name.’

‘Most unusual,’ Eris concluded.

‘Quite,’ she agreed.

The male who had spun Nesta stepped forwards. A hand settled on her waist. ‘And who are you, friend? We have not heard your name yet.’

‘I have not said it.’

‘You need some manners.’

Nesta removed the hand from her waist. ‘Enough, Cassian.’

She escorted him through the party-goers to her brother. Where Eris had been expecting a man of stout figure who had indulged himself through many years of gluttony, he found a slim – remarkably young – Lord of Sleepy Hollow. Dark hair was slicked back and matched the sable clothing he wore. Beside him, drinking a glass of wine and speaking to others was his wife, Eris could deduce due to the exceptional resemblance to her sister.

‘Lord and Lady Van Tassel.’

‘Even if you are selling something, you are most welcome here.’

Eris straightened his tie and stood a little taller. ‘I am constable Eris Crane sent to you from New York with the authority to investigate murder in Sleepy Hollow.’

A silence fell across the room.

‘Thank God you’re here to arrest the culprit,’ Cassian called which was met with a smattering of laughter.

‘What good will a constable do?’ Another voice asked.

‘I am quite certain this case will be unravelled,’ he replied, directing his attention to the Lord and Lady of Sleepy Hollow. ‘I daresay the day of travel has been ill and I should prefer to retire rather than enjoy the festivities.’

‘I shall see Constable Crane to his rooms,’ Nesta swiftly said, cutting in before the others.

The house had a second floor followed by a conversion of the attic into a living quarter for receiving guests. Nesta swept through the room to ensure all was up to standards whilst her lips remained pursed together. She stared from the window towards the mist-covered forests that encompassed the village, bar the single road, then promptly drew the curtains closed.

‘Miss Van Tassel,’ Eris said, halting her before her departure. ‘If I may confirm details with you: Three persons murdered. Atwell Van Garrett and his son, Tamlin Van Garrett, both of them strong, capable men. They were found together. Decapitated. A week later, the Widow Briar. Their heads were unable to be located.’

Nesta’s grey eyes sought the closed curtains again then flitted back to his, a wariness settling in. ‘Their heads were not found because their heads were taken, Mister Crane.’

‘Taken?’

‘Taken by the Headless Horseman. Taken back to Hell.’

Surely a woman of sound mind and education would not be taken in by ghost stories.

‘There is a scientific explanation for everything, Miss Van Tassel.’

Nesta squared her shoulders. ‘I assure you that in any other regard I would agree with your sentiments. But not in this. The Headless Horseman is real.’

There had been laughter when Eris had spoken of apprehending the suspect.

‘Indulge me,’ he said.

‘The Horseman was a mercenary, sent to our shores during the war. But unlike his compatriots who came for money, the Horseman came... for love of carnage... and he was not like the others...’ She shook her head. ‘His name was Jurian. He rode a giant black steed. He was infamous for taking his horse hard into battle... chopping off heads at full gallop.  To look upon him made your blood run cold, for he had filed down his teeth to sharp points to add to the ferocity of his appearance.’

She told the story in such a way that Eris could not stop himself from being lured in by her voice. It was a siren’s call. He forced his hands into his pocket to keep from reaching for her.

‘This butcher would not finally meet his end till the winter of seventy-nine not far from here in our Western Woods. He had lured a general, Clythia, into his tent and tore her to pieces. He paraded her head through an enemy encampment then they captured him. They cut off Jurian’s head with his own sword, Clythia’s sister among them. To this day, the Western Woods is still a haunted place where none will dare venture for what was planted there was a seed of evil.’ Nesta spread out her hands. ‘And so it has been for twenty years. But now Jurian wakes -- he is on the rampage, cutting off heads where he finds them.’

If it were not for the austerity in her voice, Eris might have scoffed at the tale.

‘Miss Van Tassel, you cannot believe in such stories.’

‘It is no story,’ she vowed.

Eris shook his head. ‘We have murders in New York without the benefit of ghouls and goblins.’

‘You are a long way from New York, sir,’ she said, sweeping her head into a bow.

‘I shall discover the motive of the murders, Miss Van Tassel. This mystery will not resist investigation by a rational man.’

Eris moved to lean against the table, in a display of casualness, but the table wobbled on its uneven legs. The empty glass she had placed there for him juddered onto its side and rolled off the table. He winced as it fell, but – mercifully – it did not shatter.

‘You may be as rational as you like. The Reverend Helion will even press a Bible into your hands so that God may be the salvation in this horror. I speak of what I have heard from the lips of those who have seen. Those whose word I trust.’

‘Then, pray, tell me what others have seen.’

‘Rhysand has set a watch since the first murders. Cassian circles the village night after night on duty. He saw the Horseman galloping away on the night the Widow Briar was found murdered.’

‘I had believed you to be a rational woman rather than one in league with the brute from downstairs.’

Nesta stepped back, appraising him with a scowl. ‘You cast a judgement on the first night of our meeting.’

Bashfully, Eris dipped his head. ‘Please excuse my manners. I am not used to-’

‘Female company?’

Blood burned in his cheeks. ‘Society.’

‘How can you avoid society in New York? How I should love the opera - and theatres - to go dancing... Is it wonderful?’

‘I have never been.’

‘But there is an art museum? A concert hall?’

‘I don’t know.’

She gave a disappointed sigh. ‘Then you have nothing to teach me.’

At once, Eris wanted to take back his words. Or to offer Nesta the opportunity to visit museums and concert halls where they could dance. He would learn for her.

‘Nesta, you cannot truly believe it is the Horseman.’

‘Not everyone does believe.’

‘Good,’ he replied, relief flooding him.

‘Some say it is the witch of the woods who made a pact with Lucifer.’

Eris closed his eyes as he sucked in a breath. ‘There are no witches or galloping ghosts. Is everyone in this village in thrall with superstition?’

‘Why are you so frightened of magic, Eris? Not all of it is wicked. There are ancient truths in these woods which have been forgotten in your city parks.’

‘If they are truths, they are not magic – and if magic, not truth.’

She threw up her hands, anger brimming in her gaze. ‘You are foolish. When there is fever in the house, it is well known that willow-herb roots and a crow's foot must be boiled in the milk of a pure white goat with special charms uttered over the fire then the fever abates.’

‘Next time, try the herb without the rest. And now I must ask you to leave.’

‘Gladly,’ Nesta replied. ‘I should not have interrupted our town’s saviour from his contemplation. Goodnight. And as for the brute you mentioned, he has proposed to me.’

How could it be? Although Eris did not know the pair, they were already at odds in his mind. She was fair and lovely to look upon. He was big and burly with a rough tongue and rougher hands.

‘I, I, I,’ he stuttered. ‘I am happy that…’

‘He proposed to me several times.’

She gave a faint smile after her ambiguous words then departed with a slam of the door.

[whatudottu]

Honestly Ben 10 is probably one of the most based science fiction series out there by sheer virtue of it having the balls to showcase any alien concept it wanted to no matter how ridiculous, and whenever someone is like “there’s no way in Hell that could ever be scientifically feasible”, it dared to look them in the eyes and go “Yeah, well, this is a world where magic and superpowered mutants also exist. What are you gonna do? Cry about it? You grown ass adult who’s expecting scientific feasibility out of a cartoon meant to sell toys to preteen boys that has lore so inconsistent it’s almost impossible to tell what’s canon and what’s non-canon? LMAO loser.”

I mean OS had it all- obviously aliens but not only that, at minimum 10 of them; mutants in daily life across at least America, no doubt in other places too; magic, albeit one without a system beyond ‘there’s a spellbook and some charms’. The shift to purely alien in AF makes the wonderful nonsense sci-fi stuff into frustrating logic trees of ‘how does xenobiology get this powerful’ which I had definitely fallen into. Ben 10 is unabashedly science fantasy, so why not go the full fantasy and bring back mutants and magic, haha!

Admittedly a good implementation of magic in a series tends to follow a magic system, which I’m not especially great at coming up with, especially in comparison to speculative biology which come with pre-established rules. But hey, I don’t exactly expect it to be fleshed out, at least not as well as the alien aspect of Ben 10; even then, there’s only so much fleshed out, it’s to tease us into making lore for it lmao-

To be fair though, Ben 10 itself had to whack itself on the cheek in order to be reminded of its magic and especially mutant parts, which unfortunately in the latter case was central to major retcons so…

[starleska]

just finished watching Megamind vs the Doom Syndicate and i have some thoughts!! please do take this with a grain of salt as i'm just one person; i absolutely do not want to rain on anyone's parade!! if this is your favourite movie, don't worry about the gripes of some stranger on the internet 🥰

let's start with the positive!! despite what some people are saying there are things to enjoy about the film, and i think that lies in the fun of Megamind's old crew. although Behemoth looks a little phoned-in and Pierre Pressure was an easy joke, i really enjoyed the designs for Lady Doppler and Lord Nighty-Knight. the scenes they were in with Megamind were definitely the most engaging!! but that's...about where my enjoyment of the film ends. i think the film's biggest sin is the enormous amount of exposition-dumping and telling rather than showing. there were so many times where characters just...stated things about themselves, or spoke aloud why they were feeling the way they are. they're like...character notes that a writer jots down to keep track of emotional journeys. it really breaks the immersion and makes the characters feel mechanical, clunky, and a bit of a hivemind. Megamind and Roxanne in particular feel quite stripped of their original personalities, which is such a shame. then there's drastic reduction of chemistry between Megamind and Roxanne. canonically, this movie only takes place a couple of days after the events of Megamind, but the two are barely affectionate with one another to the point that it's weird. perhaps it was written as them being comfortable with one another, but at times it almost felt like there was dislike between the two of them...especially from Roxanne's side!! Megamind is hardly recognisable compared to his lovestruck counterpart from the first movie, and Roxanne's bold, caring nature seems to have evaporated. it makes it very hard to get invested in their relationship at all 💔 speaking of Roxanne, i find it such an odd choice to make Roxanne have an existential crisis about being dissatisfied with her life just a few days after the events of the previous film...you'd think she'd want to take it easy for a while! i feel this characterisation of Roxanne does her a lot of disservice, and reduces her more to plot functionality. Roxanne doesn't strike me as the kind of woman who'd be starstruck re: some kid's online following and decide she's inadequate by comparison. again, a lot of the things we love Roxanne for were just quite...absent, from this movie. you could predict what she was going to say well ahead of time, because she was just following the beats of the plot 😓 and the time-retcon...isn't it a bit weird that Megamind is a complete Internet n00b? it's one thing for him to be a bit out-of-touch with Gen Z (as he's relatable to us neurotypicals given his alien grasp on certain concepts), but he seems completely baffled by the concept of streaming and followers at all, and this movie takes place in a post-2020 timeframe. it's odd because Megamind is already established as a tech genius in the first movie, and we know he's somewhat affiliated with Internet slang by his use of LOL : ) when texting Roxanne!! perhaps this is a small nitpick that can be explained away, but it seems like a baffling choice and an excuse to write in a trendy character for the kids to relate to 😵 then, moving onto Keiko...she wasn't terrible by any means! but i wish she was more than a social media influencer to get Megamind with the times. if she's Megamind's number 1 fan, surely she would have been his fan while he was a villain...couldn't that have made for an interesting moral dilemma along with the return of the Doom Syndicate: having a child trying to follow in his previously-villainous footsteps? what about Keiko being taken under the wing of the Doom Syndicate after Megamind became a hero? 👀 those are my thoughts for now...i do hope all those talented Megamind fans will build upon these flaws in the movie and create more compelling stories from it 🙏💖

[moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom]

I just find it mind-boggling that some people will reblog things like “Anakin didn’t care about Rex and his men, he wouldn’t listen to Fives just because he was friends with Palpatine” and then in the next post be gushing over Rexwalker/Rexanidala like???? so you agree. Anakin does care about Rex?

[yeehawbvby]

finally drew arven and my OC, Max! :'D (she/her, and it’s short for Maxine)

here’s some close-ups!! (forgot to do this on my pc, so hopefully mobile saving/cropping didn’t mess with the quality too badly ;;w;;)

[bayofwolves]

rereading spirit animals and realizing that the devourer wars are so much more nuanced than i used to think

like, feliandor was definitely wrong for starting the first one in order to colonize land for his nation. but when it was over, the greencloaks -- the supposed good guys -- carried out a genocide on the people of stetriol.

and in the second one, shane had every right to feel how he felt. the greencloaks had abandoned his people to centuries of torment and i agree with him for fighting back. but once again, the conquerors' methods were inexcusable. the atrocities they committed were just as horrible as their enemies'.

but of course, even though both sides had their faults, the greencloaks were never held accountable for what they did to stetriol. they were persecuted for their involvement in the war with the wyrm, yes, but what about before that? when they wiped out a nation and continued to hide what they'd done? when they used the nectar to dominate the world, withholding its lifesaving power from anyone they deemed not worthy?

the greencloaks allowed stetriol to be forgotten, and forgotten it still seems to be.

[sporesgalaxy]

i shouldve played pokemon violet in spanish....

[theangrypomeranian]

did I binge watch a show today just for a wlw ship?

yes yes I did 😊

[bedofthistles]

Daddy beach au

Don’t look at me

lol

Robin, David

Richard, Henry

References (the last one isn’t a reference more the vibes I was going for with Henry lol)

[dewgongs]

ha

[honeysunchild]

Libraries are just about the punkest places in existence and ppl wanna be transphobic in them? Not on my watch fuck you very much

[ravenwolfie97]

hey question why is mac n cheese so addicting to eat send post

[kingarmorking]

the post i made for the melted ice au got a like and frankly thats all i need to keep talking about it

so picking up from where i left off squirrelkit and leafkit have heard about the scary cat from bloodclan and obvs squirrelkit goes to show that shes not at all scared of the big meanie! leafkit goes for moral support, def not because squirrelkit is scared!

scourge is... just kinda brooding as he has been doing since he ended up in thunderclan's camp and he doesnt pay any attention at all to the two kits, even when squirrelkit pounces on his tail a bunch of times.

eventually he gets fed up with it and just. pushes her away and politely asks them to leave him alone (which for his standards is asking them to fuck off without directly saying that)

squirrel doesnt listen to him, shes too focused on "GASP. YOUVE GOT ONE WHITE PAW TOO!!" and she shows her own white paw and makes it Her Mission to befriend the meanie

it takes some time but eventually she wins out and scourge ends up being endeared to both her and leafkit, who takes it upon herself to help his neck injury heal better (scourge ends up learning some medicine cat stuff because of it)

eventually it culminates into scourge off-handedly mentioning that squirrelkit reminds him of the stories he heard from his mother about his father and namedrops jake. firestar (whos been watching him to make sure he doesnt hurt his kits) is surprised to hear his dads name be mentioned and they realize that theyre half-brothers

after some more time firestar asks scourge if he knew their dad and what he was like and they end up getting closer over it

at this point the clan has gotten used to having scourge in the camp and scourge asks to be renamed, both so he doesnt stand out any longer and also as a new start for him

firestar happily obliges his half-brother and grants him the name icestep, ice for his eye color and step to signify him stepping out his old life and into his new one

icestep never gets an apprentice and hes fine with that, he ends up bouncing between warrior primary and medicine cat secondary (cause its my au i make the damn rules) from leafkit and later cinderpelt teaching him