#and you bet your ass i define what the people closest to him do as abuse! he is consistently abused!

[wrathbit]

just read a post about how the people who're close to spider-man often lack respect for peter and it almost took me out ... it's absolutely correct. very few people actually like peter. they don't like his personality, his choices, his career, what he does without a mask, and any mistakes he's made tied to the name "peter parker". they want spider-man, and only spider-man, and when that part of him messes up they seem to baselessly consider it inevitable because "oh yeah, peter parker is under there".

[yesimwriting]

The Promise of Rain

A/n finally writing that Kaz Brekker x reader angsty-fluff where the reader is all sunshine-y and Kaz is dramatic as always lol 

Might make this a blurb series bc i like this dynamic so much lol

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y reader 

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Kaz has a conversation with the reader (who’s a runaway princess) about what happens to people who stay near him. 

-- 

He once said that he didn’t believe in Saints. A moment later he conceded that perhaps they existed in order to appease Inej, but he was quick to tact on that if Saints existed they didn’t care about him. Inej and I had exchanged a look, she pleaded with me in silence to let him be. I opened my mouth despite the look in her eyes, but he had walked away before I could get any words out. 

He believes that the Saints don’t care about him, but as soon as he was dragged in by Jesper, bleeding and more broken than usual, it had started to rain. The rain is a promise. The rain is a sign that he will wake up. 

I tap a finger against the forgotten book on my lap, ignoring the dried blood I’ve been too anxious to wash off. When Kaz wakes up he’ll either scold me or partially tease me for waiting here by his bedside. The rain continues, cascading down invisible hope. 

“Save your prayers, even for you the Saints won’t regard me.” Kaz. His voice is raspier than it should be and his slight condescension is blighted by the tired flatness of it. But it’s him. He’s speaking. 

I tear my gaze away from the window, almost forgetting to tamper down my relief before finally looking at him. I haven’t known him long enough to see him in any level of defeat, but I’ve heard enough stories. The fictional exaggeration of those that fear him have made him seem so immortal. Some part of me must have internalized that because to see him like this, to see him so human is too intimate. 

“Don’t be so narcissistic.” Something about Kaz always leaves me feeling challenged, like each comment is some kind of dare. I adjust my posture. “I wasn’t praying because I knew you’d be okay.” 

His expression is unchanging. “So much faith in me?” 

There’s a soft edge to his words, an attempt to twist some kind of awkward denial out of me. Some days I don’t think Kaz enjoys anything and then other days I think he enjoys any misstep in my words. 

I shrug, pushing down the flood of relief still attempting to crawl out of my chest. “You’re always okay.” I scratch the back of my wrist idly. “It seems the safe bet.” 

“Don’t tell me you’ve been taking gambling advice from Jesper.” 

I half roll my eyes. “No--Jesper and I don’t play together anymore.” I let out an easy sigh. “Last time I beat him he bordered on a hissy fit.” There’s the slightest hint of upturning at the corners of his lips. “I should go tell Jesper and Inej you’re awake.” 

“I think you should change out of that dress first.”

He was more likable when I thought he might die at any second. “Wow--Kaz Brekker the professional stylist.” He has no right to judge the formal gown I’m in. Yes, my outfit is ridiculous, but I’m only wearing it because the Crows needed someone they knew at a merchant’s party for a part of some scheme they wouldn’t share the details of with me. “Yes, I’m aware that this dress is more tulle than anything else, but I’m only wearing it because I was helping you.” 

I wait for some retort about how he could have managed without my assistance or some kind of comment about how I didn’t need such a large dress to flirt and distract the guards as the Crows snuck into the merchant’s private office. “You fit in there more than you said you would.” 

From anyone else, I’d consider this an insult. “I was making an effort for the sake of your plans.” 

“I saw you before I went into the office, you knew the dances, the man took your hand.” 

That’s the weirdest observation I’ve ever witnessed someone reflect on. “That’s how those dances tend to work.” I don’t hide the confusion in my expression. “How much blood did you lose?” 

Kaz’s piercing gaze drops to the blanket on his lap. “Not a concerning amount.”

“Why do I feel like we have different definitions of ‘concerning’?” 

His eyes flit upwards, a partial smirk playing at his lips. “We define a lot of things differently.” He pauses, “You defined the life you slipped into so easily tonight as something you could never do.” 

“I can’t.” What is his problem? “One dance is different than an eternity of planning teas and marrying some man who only keeps me so I can rear his children.” 

“You’d end up marrying someone who could give you things.”

He better not be implying I should be having children. I’m seriously starting to hope he did lose a significant amount of blood because that would be some kind of explanation. “I don’t want anyone to be giving me children right now, but I guess your concern is ni--”

“No, no,” he screws his eyes shut for a long second, “You know what I meant.” I stay silent. “You’re technically a princess, y/n, you could have more than the Barrel.” There’s an odd silence as he pauses. “Someone like you should have more than the Barrel.” 

He speaks like his word is law. That’s the one habit of his I can never seem to forgive. Is Kaz telling me to go home? To go back to a mother who dreams of marrying me off and a father with a temper that often leads to violence? He may be Dirtyhands, but he is no one to tell me who to go back to. Not after I risked my anonymity to get him into that merchant’s office. 

I shut my book and stand in one swift motion. “I’m going to tell Jesper and Inej that you’re awake.”

“Y/n.” I ignore him. “Y/n.” Again, I ignore him, approaching the doorway. The rustling of sheets leaves me frozen, hand on the doorknob. “Y/n.” 

Without thinking, I turn on my heels while glaring. There’s no way he’s proud enough to have climbed out of bed wi--and he’s standing. Standing almost directly behind me. 

“Kaz Brekker, I am going to say this one time and one time only.” I keep my words measured and my tone flat. No room for argument. “You just had nine stitches put in near your heart, get your ass back in bed before that is no longer your only injury.” 

He pauses, lips pressed together into a tight white line. And then his mouth opens, pried open by an oddly light sound. Did he just--Did Kaz Brekker just laugh? He doesn’t laugh. I didn’t think he was physically capable, and now he laughs while I’m threatening him? I should hit him on principle alone and damn the consequences. 

“Did you--” I’m gaping at him with a rage I am not accustomed to. “Did you just laugh?” 

Kaz is quick to shut his mouth. “You did swear you’d get me to laugh one day.” 

Saints--now he chooses to have some kind of sense of humor. “Not while I was threatening you for being an idiot after saying my lineage means that I’m meant to be trapped in the life I desire least.” 

“I didn’t say that.” I raise an eyebrow. “You don’t deserve more than this because of your family, you deserve more than this because--” He cuts himself off with a sharp sigh. “Do you remember what happened the day we met?” 

He had wanted to return me to my father for the money. I had managed to convince him I could be more useful working for him without profit. The first day had been tense, I had sworn to myself that I would hate him forever. 

“I remember really hating you.” I remember thinking him beautiful despite his darkness. “I remember it started raining on our way here.” 

“You had a hood, but you pushed it off your head to feel the rain.” I don’t remember that because indulging in the rain is instinctual to me. “You looked at the rain, and you smiled--and then you saw a woman with a child and you took off your hood and gave it to them.” 

“What does that have to d--” 

“Watching that felt like intruding on an intimate moment I had no business knowing about, but it wasn’t that to you. That moment was nothing to you because that moment was who you are.” 

I don’t understand what he sees in something I can barely remember. “Kaz, what does that have to do with anything?” 

“I’m the monster that children believe live under their beds, I’m the bastard of the Barrel, I’m someone who gets blood on everything near them.” His gaze is harsher than I’ve ever seen it as he focuses on the dried blood splotched across my hands and arms. “And then I can’t even help you wash it off.” 

Those last words are the closest to broken I’ve ever heard him sound. “Kaz--”

“And you’re the girl who looks at the rain like it’s a gift from the Saints.” 

Is he implying what I think he’s implying? Even if I believed him such a source of evil, even if I felt like touch mattered that much--why would he care? I keep the much more frightening implication at bay as I exhale. Clarity will only make this conversation worse. “That doesn’t matter.” The words leave me in a low whisper. 

I stare at the ground until his silence is something I can no longer bear. Looking up as cautiously as possible, I take in his expression. I’ve never seen him look so--so enraged. “It doesn’t matter?!” He doesn’t bother hiding the fact that he’s practically seething. “I’ve viewed your presence here as temporary since you first came and despite that, when I saw you there…” The breath he lets out is practically pained. “When I saw what your life is meant to be--I didn’t want you to go.” 

The admission breaks something hard in my chest. “I never wanted to go.” My eyeline drops to the ground. “I didn’t want to go when you were trying to make me, I didn’t want to go when it was only for that evening.” I swallow a lump of emotion restricting my throat. “When you were bleeding out and Jesper had to carry you back here I let myself imagine what it’d be like if you died. And it hurt. It hurt so badly I asked myself if I would rather never know you than feel that pain.” 

“Would you?” His voice has gone hollow. 

I finally look up again. “No.” That word leaves me more bare than any physical touch ever could. 

“I stain everything that stays with me,” his voice has seamlessly shifted back to a tone meant for business, “Me wanting you to stay is more than enough reason for you to leave.”

My chest aches as emotions I’ll never be able to place a name to pound against my chest. “I’m a princess that ran away from her family and tried to befriend her kidnapper--you can’t possibly be narcissistic enough to believe that you’re what’s corrupted me.” 

“Y/n,” his voice is gravely again, the way it was when he first woke up. 

“No. What could you possibly think I’d say to that?” He’s insane--I’m not even sure I understand what he’s implying. “You know I’ll never agree with what you’re saying, so I have no idea what kind of reaction you’re looking for.”

“Maybe a genuine one.” 

The comment is so frustrating I can’t help but roll my eyes. The irony of Kaz Brekker asking for a genuine reaction to an emotionally heavy comment is almost laughable. “My genuine reaction is that you’re acting like an idiot because I don’t agree with anything you’re saying, but calling someone an idiot after they’ve been stabbed in the chest is a little insensitive so I can’t give you my genuine reaction.”

Kaz half-scoffs, “You don’t agree? Y/n--are you hearing me!? I want--I want you to stay.” Even angry, the admission warms me. He lets out a frustrated sigh. “More than that I want--” 

“What?” 

He shakes his head once. “I want something that can never be because I can’t give what needs to be given to get it.” 

“Kaz, if it involves me staying you don’t need to give anything for that because I don’t want to go.” 

“I-want-you-to-stay-with-me.” The admission is pried from him by some invisible force. He speaks so fiercely the sentence comes out as one angry word. 

He speaks so quickly a part of me is convinced that I misheard him. I watch him as he moves back to the bed, sitting down in a way so resigned I wonder if I blurted something out on instinct. 

“Kaz,” this is embarrassing, “I wanted to stay with you even when I wanted to hate you.”

I take in his measured expression, the only thing implying any kind of reaction is the way his eyebrows draw together. “Don’t say that, you don’t understand what that means.” 

“Why? Because you’re convinced you’ll ruin me?” 

“Y/n, we’d be together with a wall between us, keeping us from ever touching.” 

“I will tolerate any amount of damage you’re so convinced staying with you will bring, I will stay with you and never touch you and think nothing of it--but I will not stay with you just to stand in front of a wall.” I let out a tired breath. “I will stay with you but my one condition will be that you have to let me know you.” 

Kaz’s intense gaze wavers. “The first thing you’ll know is that me allowing you to stay is a testament to my greed.” 

I give him a sharp look, “It’s not greed if I want to be here.” 

He half sighs, leaning against a pillow as he turns to look out the window. “It’s raining,” he muses, “The Saints must have done that for you.” 

The sentiment is so soft my heart feels like it’s constricting. “I thought you didn’t believe in the Saints.” 

“If they exist, they do so for people like you.” 

I push past the emotion in my chest as I move to sit in the same chair I was in earlier. “I was honest when I said I didn’t pray for you.” I scratch the back of my arm, a coldness passing over me. “I didn’t pray because I knew you would be okay because you had to be.” 

“They wouldn’t have saved me,” he mumbles, “Or maybe they would have for you.” 

I shake my head once, staring at the rain with more fascination than before. 

--

General Taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper @grishaverse7 @lonelystarship

[everything-laito]

damn the brain be out here going BRRRRRR here’s the Laito and Cordelia Analysis (with a little bit of Karl sprinkled in) Part III

wow my fingers are freezing but my brain sure isn't! 

aaaanyways, iiiiiit’s trauma time!!! Am I a productive member of society by writing these analyses? No. Do I gain anything by writing them? Kinda, my brain gets exercised and they’re fun to research for. But if you haven’t read the first part or the second part for some reason (I recommend reading them in order), there they are. 

Once again, trigger warnings still apply; mainly about trauma, isolation, etc 

I’m gonna talk about the trauma and effects it had on Laito and to attempt to extrapolate why he is the way he is. I have a lot of examples I want to go over and stuff to talk about, so I think the trauma part is going to be split between two (or maybe three) parts. I also have a little bit to say about Karlheinz.

As always, big ass rant under the cut! 

Section 6: Neuroplasticity and Trauma

Oh???? More science vernacular??? You BET! Ok, neuroplasticity. I know I’ve talked about it on this blog. But, I seriously doubt that there is a madlad who has read all of my analyses (speaking of which, I should update the master list lmao) and I don’t expect anyone to do that LOL! Anyways, this neurological concept is the ability of neurons to adapt to certain circumstances or stimuli by creating new neurological pathways (through synapses). This basically relates to memory and learning. It’s why we don’t stay the same person as we grow and develop. It’s responsible from mindset changes to response to traumatic events. It plays a huge part in trauma, which is why “repressed memories” occur as well. 

Trauma, taken from Psychology Today, is defined as: 

...the experience of severe psychological distress following any terrible or life-threatening event. Sufferers may develop emotional disturbances such as extreme anxiety, anger, sadness, survivor’s guilt, or PTSD.

It’s a basic definition. And although I’d assume people would know what trauma is already, but knowing the lexical definition of something can be good to know before going into it. 

Obviously, Laito has trauma, there’s literally no refuting that. But, the point I’m getting at, is the reason why he is the way he is today is because of neuroplasticity. As previously stated, we are going to assume the DL vampire brain works similarly or the same as a human brain. So, because of the stress put upon the brain (Cordelia’s actions and Laito’s general upbringing in a stress filled household), Laito’s brain was rewired (neuroplasticity). This section doesn’t really have much new information, but I wanted to give a baseline since there’s many people who don’t know what neuroplasticity is.

Laito’s definitely different than what he was as a kid. He still kind of had his smarts, and might have been  but as we’ve deducted from the first part of this series, he might have been groomed. On top of that, the brain is easily moldable when you’re a child (which is why grooming makes sense for Laito’s case), and continues to snip brain cells off and form new connections. 

Section 7: Little intermission about Karlheinz 

I know I haven’t really talked about Karlheinz yet. So this will be the section that I do it in. I know this part is about Laito’s trauma, but it’s so hard to not just weave other characters into it. Nothing is stand-alone, which is why it was so hard for me to plan this out. I was debating about saving this for another analysis, but I feel like it fits. 

I referenced this in Part II, Section 5 of this analysis series. Basically, Karlheinz throws Laito into the dungeon and locks him up. Not Karlheinz personally, but he ordered someone to do it. We don’t explicitly know why, but there’s several implications. A huge one is that it was part of Karlheinz’ experiment. Before Dark Fate, I was like “wait, so did Karl find out about Laito/Cordelia? And got like jealous or was like ‘nah this shit fucked up no thanks’?” I was really scratching my head on that. But in Dark Fate, you find that Karlheinz knew about Cordelia and Laito, and even really wanted it to happen. Which is all sorts of fucked up. This really put Laito in for a loop. Here’s a scene from Dark Fate: 

Laito: That woman always, always believed in Karlheinz. Laito: She believed he married her because he loved her, wanted her. That’s why she was sure that one day... he will give his love only to her.  Laito: But she was tricked. She wasn’t loved from the start... Laito: -And I’m a victim of this unbelievable mistake... That’s how it is. Laito: I was treated as a vent for her feelings. Yui: ...Laito-kun... Laito: I’m sure he knew that something like this will happen... He is a god after all... Laito: I was hoping that... He just overlooked it up until now... Laito: But... I was naive.  Laito: I was only planned a scapegoat. 

God, when I played this, that just freaking struck me to my core. That’s so awful. Ironically... Karlheinz probably has some high level of emotional intelligence. I don’t believe he could be labeled as a sociopath, considering he has this high level understanding of pathos. He’s not god in a sense that he controls everyone individually himself. He’s so good at manipulation that he basically creates fate itself (whether you believe in it or not). He’s generally intelligent and cunning, and it also just helps with the fact that he’s immortal and can time travel. He knows cause and effect by now, and I believe Lost Eden said something about how he’s done so many different “timelines.” 

The definition of a god in a philosophical sense can be broken down into three words: omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. More wicked cool jargon! Yay! Here’s what they mean for extra clarification:

Omniscient: All knowing Omnipresent: All seeing Omnipotent: All doing

Sure Karlheinz doesn’t absolutely know everything, nor can see everything, and he definitely has limits to his power, but he has gained knowledge through living for so many years and time traveling; he has familiars which add to the whole “all seeing” part; and he has a lot of power. So basically, in the most semi-”realistic” sense, it would definitely be the closest being to any kind of god.

Karlheinz is probably the reason why Laito himself has such contempt towards religion, and the existence of a god in general. Sure, the boys are like “that shit’s made up by humans” in general, but it would make sense for Laito himself to have that specific hatred. It makes sense that these vampires would be like “oh that’s made up by humans” when they’ve been around forever and have seen multiple religions come and go. (I’m mainly talking about in DL’s lore case, not starting a religious argument; please don’t take it as such––just to clarify)

Section 8: Isolation

Originally, the previous part was going to be about Laito’s isolation being locked up. However, I went off the rails and it turned into that little intermission. This is going to be a shorter section, but I still wanted to talk about, and it will weave into the next section. 

There is no implications about how long Laito was locked up (and tortured) in the dungeon. There’s also no implications about why he was tortured. But torture and isolation puts such stress on the brain that there’s definitely going to be some kind of outcome if persisting for a good period of time. So let’s take a look at what that does to a person. 

Once again, taking this with a grain of salt. I imagine vampires don’t need to rely on social interaction as much as humans do, considering they live forever. But we don’t know. However, throwing Laito into a state of isolation implies that it would be some type of torture or harsh punishment for a vampire, which therefore implies that social interaction is a necessity for emotional function. It’s just sound, inductive logic. 

So now, as for isolation, I’m using this article as reference. It’s a pretty interesting one to read. Here’s another extensive article as well. Basically isolation can cause:

Depression/anxiety

Immune system deficiencies (basically more likely to get physically ill)

Sleep cycle changes (if put underground or with limited natural light)

Hallucinations

Paranoia

Issues with processing information and more susceptible to persuasion/manipulation

We have no clue if Laito’s experience fits all of these. Also, the second one can be crossed out because vampires in DL can’t get physically sick in the way we can. Also, unsure about the sleep cycle stuff considering they are used to being in the dark. Hallucinations and paranoia can’t be crossed off nor proven. 

Being isolated physically and mentally exhausts the mind, which is why it’s also a way of torture. Laito implies that he was tortured with physical devices, but regardless, it’s still stress on the mind. This type of stress definitely goes along with what was mentioned with neuroplasticity and trauma, which also supports the last bullet point: issues processing information and being more susceptible to persuasion/manipulation. Take this flashback from Maniac Prologue in HDB that I used in Part II section 5 (but here’s even more context):

Laito: ーー Let me go!! Let me out of here! Butler: I can’t, young lord. We’ve received strict orders from your father. I am deeply sorry, but please stay put for a while. Laito: What’s the point in having me chained up in here!? Butler: ーーI am very sorry. Laito: Hahahaha…You stupid old man! Do you think that this will make repent!? How foolish! That demon! Has his brain finally rotten from spending too much time with humans!? ー Cordelia appears Cordelia: ー Oh? Laito: …!? Have you come to save me? Cordelia: Oh dear. Ufufu…I’m sorry Laito, that isn’t it. Laito: Eh? Richter: ー Why are you here? Laito: …That’s my line. Cordelia: Okay, okay. No fighting! More importantly, Richter…Come here. Laito: …!? Cordelia: Nnn…Hey, Laito. You are a good boy. Laito: …!! Cordelia: Right, Laito? Laito: Yeah, that’s right. I’m…I’m a good boy after all.  ーー Besides, I’m the type of person who only get more aroused from this kind of thing.

Although I also use this to support the whole Stockholm syndrome point, this could also be supported with the trauma isolation also holds. His mind is being re-molded into the facade he holds. Also, note the whole “do you think this will make me repent?!” part. Just a very interesting thing. The word “repent” implies that there’s something to feel guilty about or the person knows that what they’ve done is bad. It just goes to show that Laito has some part of guilt or moral compass still in tact. 

You can also argue that this scene was when Laito just got locked up, or he’s been here for a while. Either way, he could have also been socially isolated before this too, just hanging around Cordelia like it’s implied when he was a child. Remember the whole not being in bed 9/10 times when he was a child? Yeah, controlled social isolation. We also rarely see Laito with other characters in his flashbacks. I don’t believe we see him with his brothers in any of his flashbacks from what I can recall; he’s usually with Cordelia. Just implies (to me) that he’s around her a lot. And being locked up is also a more extreme case of that, which would mold the brain even more. 

I know that was a LOT to process and read. I sure hope this still is cohesive for you all. I’m pretty bad at organizing this kind of stuff; it’s a bit difficult since it all just goes together. Which, kudos on the writers of DL, because that’s just good writing. I was going to put something about gaslighting in this part, but that might be too long, so I’m going to make that a separate part or include it in the next part. 

If you have any questions, feel free to just put it in the inbox. I’m planning on making the last part of this series answering all the Laito/Cordelia questions I’ve received, or just general questions pertaining to this analysis in general, whether it be tangential questions or clarifying questions. 

Hope you all are still enjoying this ride as much as I am!  -Corn

[ravenadottir]

how do you think the islanders high school prom nights went?

oh nooooo! don’t make me suffer thinking about proms!

ok, um, let’s see.

((edit: it became a bible, as per usual...))

bobby. i can imagine cupcake being nervous to ask a girl to go with him to prom, rehearsing his “promposal” several times in the mirror, and joking about something related to proms that would light up the mood. i picture him with a really cute and shy girl that had her eye on him during chemistry class. and yes, i think he used the chemistry hook to ask her to be his date. he probably did weird worm dances, got the stage for ‘paisley cuddle’ for a three songs, was elected ‘class clown’ and got a good night kiss in front of her house when dropping her off, afterwards.

carl. i don’t want to sound too mean, but if carl went to his prom, he didn’t go with someone. he was too awkward and didn’t pick up the courage to invite the girl of his dreams. he had the corsage bought, but deep down he knew he couldn’t ask her. i must add here, he had a close friend that ended up spending the party with him because they were that connected. carl didn’t have fun, didn’t find the meaning of friendship and danced with his friend. he was too worried about uni applications and his future, and couldn’t wait to run for the hills. his entire high school experience sucked, and his prom wasn’t different. maybe one liberating song that set him free was “gives you hell”, where he didn’t feel like holding back and really let all the weird alien moves out. after that, he left. for good. this is why i think when he tells the story to mc she’ll find a way to throw a prom just for him, with his friends from the villa, where he’ll be picked up in a limo and dance awkwardly, but freely, with true friends. 

chelsea. this girl had fun on her prom, had a really cute guy taking her, the most gorgeous corsage she put together herself and gave it to her date the day before, so he could bring it when picking her up. chelsea had a close group of friends in school and danced the night away. if i know my bra well i think she was in charge of the decor, and you can bet your ass she talked her way into making everything pink-toned. all the blush and millennial pink you can imagine, down to the punch and the tablecloths. she organized everything related to the decor while bonding with a different person in charge of the rest. i can only imagine she had tons of fun at the night of the prom, being taken there in a pink limo. if her date didn’t do it, she would do it for herself, don’t at me!

gary. gary went to this prom, but i don’t reckon he took a girl. at that point of his life he was still “villain” looking, like he said, and i don’t think he had enough confidence to ask someone to go with him. what i do believe is that dicky was there with him, with a six pack and a playlist on his car that would be “infinitely better than whatever those fucking nerds are playing in there, mate!”. they would go in but not stay too long. i don’t think gary was a class clown or a sportist, despite of him playing football early on. he must’ve left that aside while focusing on robotics, so he was pretty much invisible. at least i think he defined himself in those terms. but they would drive somewhere gary adores, like the mountain, to watch the shipyard, have the beers, the music from the car radio and just talk and make fun of the popular kids that listen to ed sheeran. they would stay up all night, making plans for the future, since gary has his forklift license and is more than ready to start working. “cheers, mate.” besides the usual arctic monkeys, i think the song that best illustrates his prom is “mr. brightside” by ‘the killers’. “you know you’re gonna have to come back later for the car right, rennell?” “yeah...” “i’ll come with, you pussy. no need to be so sad.” dicky completed, pouting and draping an arm on gary’s shoulder as they walked home, ties untied, jackets and shirts open.

henrik. this kid couldn’t wait to wear those suspenders, beige pants and white shirt. he definitely had matching boutonniere with the corsage he got for his date, and his hair down. because whenever he hits the dancefloor, he lets his locks down and everyone knows that means the party is about to start. it wasn’t difficult for him to invite the girl he likes and she didn’t even blink before saying ‘yes’. i think he drove there, his friends on the back, singing along to "heroes” a cover by ‘the wallflowers’. i see henrik laughing while spinning a girl in place, catching her, goofing around with his friends while having the time of their lives. he already knew what he wanted to be, and everything was planned out. he drove everyone home and had his first night out with the girl he took to the prom.

kassam. i think kassam did his best to follow the protocol and asked a girl to go with him, got her a cute corsage and planned out the limo bit with his close friends. but i think it truly hit him that everything was going down when he put his jacket on, at the store. he saw himself on the mirror and realized what prom was, to him. it wasn’t just a party he would probably get laid after. i think he partied extremely hard that night, took some stuff, lost control, danced like an absolute asshole and probably ruined the night for a couple of people. it wasn’t smooth or tranquil like he thought it could be, and i really think he regrets lots of things he did that night. except for one. he decided to be the life of the party in different ways.

lottie. her “year 12 formal” was probably the first time lottie had real fun in her high school experience. like priya said before, i think lottie had some control issues and that stops her from seeing the full picture. ending your school experience usually opens your eyes for bigger things, and that’s where i think she really enjoyed herself for a long time. of course she wore a black dress and black and white corsage, if any. probably the first time she dyed her hair, not only a couple of streaks. high heels and black lipstick but just as gorgeous as she is today. maybe not the same level of confidence as today, but she was on the right path, i’m guessing.

lucas. i wanted to say lucas was the prom king, but that didn’t happen. he definitely didn’t know what to do while having a girl linking arms with him. he always felt like an outcast because of his previous experiences in school. always moving away, never staying too long to truly bond with his peers. so prom wasn’t exactly a fun time for him. it was though, the moment he realized he could do anything he wanted, not only conform to what his dad expected from him. the moment he realized that was possible the punch tasted different, the music became more fun, the dance moves weren’t so rehearsed and awkward, and he could truly appreciate what that night represented. i do think lucas wasn’t as smooth as he is today, so you can expect very boring tuxedo+shoes+tie combo, and not a lot of jazz going on with his ride. the whole point of getting a limo is to share it with your friends, but if you’re there for only a few months, then i don’t think there’s a bond strong enough to make you sing along to songs while picking up a girl. truth is, school wasn’t the best time for lucas, and just like carl, i don’t believe his prom was either.

marisol. she had to conform to a dress even though she wanted to rock a suit. at that point marisol already knew damn well who she was, but she couldn’t come out yet. i don’t think she had a very open relationship with her parents, and had to hide it for a while. what i do think though is that she took a girl, and changed into a suit at the dance. her closest friends knew about it and supported her, helping her hide her secret until the time was right. but that didn’t happen that night. she gave her date her corsage, and danced the night away with all of them. i even think her first sexual experience with a girl happened that night. awkwardly but very fully loving experience.

noah. i really think noah had a long term girlfriend by the time he graduated from high school, and she was the lucky girl he took to prom as his date. he asked her in the most traditional way, getting to her by the lockers, after class, possibly proceeding to take her to the library, finding the aisle with his and hers favorite books, then asking her there. the whole shebang of corsage and tuxedo, but no fancy limo bit or big gestures. just what he could afford. his dad took them to the dance and they entered the room being greeted by his closest friends. i do think noah was somewhat popular among the boys, because of his swimming, and the girls because he was so sweet and caring, besides hot! definitely popular enough to get some votes for prom king, but not quite there. i also believe the night of the prom could’ve been the first time he had sex. i could be wrong, but in my head, teen noah would’ve waited for a night as such, knowing what it means to him and to his girlfriend. not a lot of dancing but a lot of talking and watching as his crazier friends would let go and pull off moves no one should.

priya. it wasn’t the most fun she had in her life, that’s for sure. she mentioned a couple of times about her life in school and how hard it was to fit in. i don’t think big things happened for her back then. she tried her best to conform and become friends with people but it wasn’t in her, and eventually, those friendships would crumble. she probably had a date, a boy who asked her, and a couple of close friends, but didn’t feel like that was the fantasy prom she pictured for herself. i can see her wearing something discreet, because the priya we know and love blossomed later in life. besides, it was 2007/2008. emo phases were ending, but the alternative hairstyles were still here. if she had one of those or not, it’s up for debate. but her family doesn’t seem the kind to forbid her from having a haircut of her choice, so… you know what that means for her fashion choices back then! she did have a good time after a while at the dance, but it took her too long to realize it only depended on her. i think she danced, but didn’t really let the beast out. “not the greatest party i’ve been to, and definitely not my hottest look. but i guess no one’s prom is perfect.”

[thenamesseven]

Warnings: Mentions of fights and blood.

Word count: 3.1k

A/N: It’s finally here! I’m going to do a taglist so send me a message if you want to be added!

@guess--monster​

Masterlist                   Next Chapter->

You have waited years for this moment, five to be exact yet now that you were parked in front of the prison your best friend was locked in, the place that he had been living in all these days since that fateful night your body was completely glued to your car seat.

Your hands had only left the steering wheel to turn off the car's ignition and your eyes were frozen on the boring looking building placed in front of you. Sighing, you reached up with one of your shaky hands to brush some of your hair out of your face, calming down had been impossible since this morning, in fact, you were sure it was a miracle that you hadn't suffered a heart attack yet. You could feel your heart pounding against your ribcage and you knew it would beat even faster as soon as you stepped out of the car. 

Your mind was not better, there were a million questions running through it, echoing in your concerned thoughts. Would he remember you? How would he react when he saw you? Did he change or was he still your Jongho? And the most important question out of the thousands you kept coming up with. 

Was he mad at you? 

He was locked in that cell and wouldn't get out of it for a lot of years thanks to you. What happened that night had only been your fault yet Jongho took advantage of your shock to save you from the horrible fate that would have awaited you in court. No matter how much you and the best lawyers you had found for him fought for his freedom, his reputation as a gang member and the sins he committed for that night were stronger than the truth nobody believed and put your best friend behind bars for an eternity. 

Jongho had every right to hate you even when you were here to get him out of this prison. 

The plan didn't have any details yet, you only had the objective and even though you believed your life would totally change once your best friend was out of that cell he now called home you couldn't stop thinking it would be worth it. 

Jongho deserved to be free, he deserved to live his life. 

"Come on…You can do this" You whispered to yourself, finally opening the door to get out of it as you grabbed your purse "You owe him your life, you can't back out of this now"

Your voice shook as much as your hands did, you knew you couldn't walk inside in this state but fear was taking control of your body. The fact that you were planning to set Jongho free when the law said he should be locked up for more years than he could survive made you a bit paranoid. It was completely impossible that somebody would guess your plan on your first day at work but who were you trying to lie to? You've always been a good girl, rules were never broken by you and now, all of a sudden, you were planning an escape plan for your imprisoned best friend Jongho. 

You were way out of your comfort zone. 

"Identification please" The guard's voice who was standing on the other side of the fence snapped you out of your thoughts. Your eyes travelled up to him although you couldn't see much of his face thanks to the blue cap he was wearing. 

"Uh yeah, sorry" Your voice shook a little as your hands instantly fished into your purse, getting your wallet and your ID out so he could check it. 

He looked down at it before looking at you once again, now that he was entirely sure you were the same person in the picture, he signaled for his mates to open the fence and let you walk inside and deeper into the lion's dent. 

"Have a nice day" He said with a small smile, nodding his head once in a greeting way as you walked inside. Too nervous to speak again, you only glanced his way and nodded back, fearing that he would somehow guess your intentions based on the tone of your voice. 

With the sound of your high heels clicking against the pavement, you tried to take deep breaths as you walked into the prison, ready to face your best friend after so many years and ready to get him out of there as soon as you could. 

In one of the hundreds of cells that were inside the building, Jongho laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

Everyone had warned him of all the dangers that hid in prison. Psychos waiting to kill you, corrupted cops that wouldn't miss the chance to ruin your life, the lost of friends that were either murdered by somebody else or by themselves, the homesickness….But nobody had warned him about boredom and how dangerous it was for the mind to repeat the same exact routine one day after another.  After his first four years locked up he needed some changes or his sanity would start to get damaged.

"I heard someone new is coming to work here" Min Yoongi, Jongho's cell partner commented out of nowhere. He was not much of a talkative person, Yoongi only started a conversation when his own thoughts got too scary for him to handle and he needed a distraction. 

He didn't tell you this of course but Jung Hoseok, one of his closest friends, liked to gossip too much and sometimes useful information about other inmates slipped from his lips. Jongho had always been smart enough to keep his private information for himself. 

"Oh really?" Jongho didn't care too much, the people working in this prison were as nice as….Let's just say they weren't nice at all "New guard?"

"New nurse" Now, Yoongi was one of the few people that always managed to hear about everything people talked about. No matter how quietly you talked, how secretive you were, he was always there listening, it was obvious why Hoseok was his closest friend, Yoongi was a fountain of gossip "Jaehyun, the guy from cell 67, hurt the last one so bad during a check-up that the poor guy ended up being too scared to come back to work"

"He was an asshole so whatever Jaehyun did, the guy probably deserved it" He muttered shrugging, keeping his eyes on the ceiling as they talked "Let's hope this one is better"

"I heard she is a girl, so she might be a bit more sensitive" Yoongi added, sitting up straight on his bed. 

"A girl?" Jongho frowned, turning his head to move his eyes away from the ceiling and back to Yoongi just to make sure he wasn't just fucking around with him. 

"Crazy right?" Yoongi scoffed "With all the pervs that are locked up in here I bet she won't last too long"

"Or maybe she is a badass and kicks all our asses" Jongho said with a small smirk, making Yoongi smile too in amusement "Who knows?"

Little did Jongho know that the nurse they were talking about would be you and that you were only a coward with a mission disguised as a badass. 

“So this is where you will be working” The guard, whose name you hadn’t had the pleasure to discover yet, that had been guiding you through the facilities mostly showing you the areas that were empty of inmates, stopped once you reached the nurse office “Though, I would recommend you to bring a book or something to entertain yourself”

Your eyebrows arched up, curious at his advice “Not to many patients to deal with?” You asked with a polite smile. Not that you were disappointed by that, you had only wanted to work in this place to get Jongho out somehow, not to treat some people that could snap your neck before you blinked.

“If it’s a good day you won’t get any visits” He answered, hands in his pockets, relaxed as the two of you chatted. He didn’t seem to be looking forward to going back to his work and showing the newbie around seemed to be the perfect excuse to avoid that “Unfortunately, there are bad days too” He sighed tiredly, hinting that he had been present in more bad days than he would like. 

“What would you define as a bad day?” You asked hesitantly, you weren’t sure if you really wanted to know what he considered a bad day. You were at a prison after all.

“Someone getting stabbed, beated to almost death, strang-”

“I think I get it now” You interrupted before he could keep listing horrible events that you didn’t even want to think about “I hope you all don’t go through bad days too often”

The guard smiled sympathetically “That depends on how well these guys want to behave” The two of you stayed silent for a second, it was obvious that the conversation topics between the two of you were slowly coming to an end despite his insistence of keeping the chatting alive “Don’t worry about your safety though, most of the guys here wouldn’t hurt you and the ones that possibly would are never left alone, a guard will stay with you if they think you could be at risk” You nodded at this information, partly glad at that. 

Prisons were no joke and truly dangerous people were locked up in here, murderers and rapists were something you would have to deal with if you wanted your plan to go well. Although this kind of worried you, Jongho had been sentenced because he murdered somebody and even though newspapers made sure to let the world know that the life he ended that night was not an innocent one, he was still considered a murderer and a gang-member. Would they leave him alone with you if he ever needed medical assistance? Because if they didn’t, you were royally fucked.

“That’s a relief” You said with a small smile, hand going up to your chest as you let out a small sigh “I was a bit worried about that, I’ve never worked in this kind of…” Your voiced died down a little, not really sure about how to refer to this place without sounding scared as fuck or insulting “Kind of place”

“Don’t worry, the inmates behave most of the time” Not going to lie, the fact that they didn’t behave all the time wasn’t surprising but that didn’t make it less scary. The guard opened his mouth to say something else but a static voice coming from his walkie-talkie interrupted your conversation, signaling him that it was about time for him to come back to his real work. Throwing a small smile your way, he picked up the device and muttered a quiet ‘On my way’ before turning his attention back to you “Well, I’ll see you around miss” He said with a friendly smile, nodding his head as his feet started walking backwards “Good luck on your first day!” 

You nodded, standing outside of the infirmary until he disappeared around the corner. Left alone in that hall you truly didn’t know what to do with yourself, despite his reassurance of the guards protecting you from any danger you couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated by the idea of having to treat inmates. Jongho better not be mad at you or you would beat his ass.

Sighing you finally opened the door to what would be your work space for as long as you needed to perfect your plan and the situation didn’t improve. Nobody had told you what had happened to the last person that abandoned this position but by the blood on the wall poorly cleaned you could slightly guess what had happened.

“The things you get yourself into” You whispered to yourself, dropping your purse on the desk as you walked deeper into the dusty room, eyes scanning your surroundings and purposefully avoiding the blood stains on the white wall.

“That’s exactly what my mom tells me whenever she visits” 

You were startled by the new voice coming from behind you, hands instantly going to your chest where your heart was pounding incredibly hard against your ribcage and breath getting caught in your throat, good thing you hadn’t been holding something like your phone or you would have dropped it for sure.

When you turned around to find the source of your almost heart attack, what you found standing there didn’t make it less scary. Your first inmate patient was standing by the doorway and by the lack of guards around him, you guessed he wasn’t considered a threat. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to startle you” 

He was tall, like ridiculously tall. This guy was probably three head taller than you and even though it probably wasn’t his intention, his height only made him more intimidating for you. Although, the way his smile seemed shy and his eyes darted away from you gave away that he was being honest. His hair was blond and looked fluffy, how his hair managed to look better than yours in a place like this was a mystery but if you two would have been in a totally different situation you would have asked about the products he used.

This wasn’t the time to think of that. Dumbass.

“It’s alright, you just interrupted my daydreaming session” You said with a small smile in return, forcing yourself to relax and not be so on edge. Just because he was in this place didn’t mean he would try to kill you whenever he got the chance. “Can I help you?” He nodded to your question, less tense now that you had visibly relaxed and decided it would be a good moment to walk into the room too, always keeping his distance with you. He was probably conscious of your nerves and didn’t want to freak you out.

“I’m Mingi or inmate 2356 but you know, since numbers are difficult to remember you can call me by my name” His little presentation mixed with the friendly smile that stretched the corners of his lips upwards brought a smile of your own to your face.

“Well, nice to meet you inmate 2356” You joked with a smirk, leaning back against your desk as you crossed your arms on your chest, keeping down the bubbly chuckle that threatened to spill from your lips.

“Damn, she’s good with numbers, what do I do know?” He joked back, laughing quietly as he fidgeted with the hem of his orange clothes. “Let’s start all over again, my name is Mingi, nice to meet you” His smile widened when you finally chuckled, if his objective had been relaxing you in his presence then he had done a pretty good job.

“Nice to meet you Mingi” You said amused, not scared of him and his height anymore as your eyes travelled down his figure, searching any wounds that you could treat or anything that told you he was sick but to your surprise, nothing was found “You look fine to me, what can I help you with?” 

“Well, you can say no if you don’t want to but I used to help the last guy that worked here, you know, we all have to study or work in here and since books were never for me I worked my way to the Infirmary!” He said with a proud smile, one that kind of make you think he was cute “So I was wondering if I could keep learning and helping you out, I promise I won’t mess things up and that I’ll take this seriously”

The way he kept saying that he wouldn’t mind if you rejected him but also kept lowkey trying to convince you made your smile even bigger. He seemed to be a nice guy and you honestly wouldn’t mind having some company around, it would surely make things a bit more difficult for you and Jongho but maybe if he even showed he could be trusted, you could tell him your true intentions and plans. Mingi could be helpful for sure.

“Okay, having some company sounds nice” You accepted, uncrossing your arms and getting ready to clean the room a little and organize everything on the shelves. There was so much work to do and so little time to keep friendly chatting with Mingi.

“Thanks God, I really didn’t want to go back to painting classes” He mumbled while watching you, pulling the sleeves of his uniform up so he could start helping you out in whatever you were planning to do at the moment. 

“I’m assuming you weren’t born to be the next Van Gogh?” You asked chuckling, hearing how Mingi snorted.

“These hands were made to make many things but paintings are not one of them for sure” He answered and even though your eyes weren’t on him right now, you could hear the smile on his lips.

“I hope they were made to heal people” You teased.

“Were they? We’ll see” He said in a light tone obviously joking “So what’s your name? Since you don’t have a number I can easily remember” Mingi muttered teasing you about your greeting earlier, making you smile again.

“My name is (Y/N)” You simply said.

Mingi froze in his place, his smile only getting wider as he turned around to look at you. He had been having the feeling that he knew you as soon as he walked in the infirmary but he hadn’t been able to guess the reason why you were so familiar to him. Now that you had said your name, Mingi remembered how many times his friend had spoken about you, how easily was to make him smile whenever he remembered your shenanigans and oh god, let’s not talk about the picture he had in his cell of the two of you. Sure you looked way younger but Mingi was sure you were her, you were Jongho’s girl.

“Wait, your (Y/N)?” He asked genuinely surprised, making you stop your rearranging of the medicines that were on the shelves to turn around and look at him.

“I just told you” You snorted, not really getting why he was asking that.

“I can’t wait to tell Jongho you’re here” He said smiling warmly.

“You know Jongho?” You asked surprised, eyes glued to his face.

“Of course I do” He said as if it was the same obvious thing, pointing to the tattoo on his wrist “We were in the same gang”

[sagemoderocklee]

⭐the most recent chapter of taol with shadow!shikamaru⭐

ohhhhh thank you for asking about this chapter! this is definitely my favorite non-gaalee chapter! it was also the chapter that I was probably the most nervous about because of the direction I took Shikamaru in!

it’s been a while since i published that chapter, so i had to skim before i could really touch on the elements of it that I really wanted to talk about, so sorry this took so long to get to. again, not something i could really reply to in the midst of having my tits tattooed. and i was too tired last night after my appointment to reply to this cause i knew it was gonna be long.

anyways, director’s cut for chapter 11 of The Art of Love is below the cut:

so a quick breakdown of what happened in this chapter to refresh anyone’s memory:

This chapter was a Shikamaru PoV chapter, (and aside from Gaara and Lee, he’s actually one of my fave characters to write. It’s hard to rank who I love writing the most, tbh, but I really do love Shikamaru as a character and enjoying writing from his POV.)

With this chapter, things are really starting to progress in a very material way--we’ve got Shikamaru’s fake arrest, Chouji taking his place in Iron, Shikamaru’s team for a secret mission is formed, and his escape from Konoha takes place. He rendezvous with Team Eight and Sai, and they begin a long journey, posing as civilian travelers who’ve been impact by the outbreaks of violence throughout the last five years.

First they go to a town I made up for this fic, Kōten Outpost, where they uncover a small bit of information. Here, things take a drastic turn: Shikamaru makes a pact with Shadow Kami--a pact that hasn’t been made in hundreds of years, and the records of which are unclear and incomplete. This reveals something about the Nara clan otherwise unknown. They’re abilities to manipulate shadow comes not from chakra specifically, but from ancient pacts, magic that has since been forgotten by shinobi.

This pact poses a danger to Shikamaru, to his teammates, to the world, but he takes it on because he is more than determined to rescue Temari. He cannot possibly predict the consequences of the pact, but he knows it will give him unimaginable power. Power he definitely cannot control.

After this, they move northward, making their way out of Fire Country and into, first Steam Country (originally Hot Water Country), and then Crystal Country (originally Frost Country). Their goal is to make their way to Kumogakure in Lightning, but posing as civilians means traveling slowly. And Shikamaru is no longer in the best condition as he struggles against an unimaginable force that now lives within him.

The journey from town to town, and village to village takes months. They disguise themselves in numerous ways, and eventually they do make it into Lighting, a harrowing feat made possible by Shikamaru’s growing strength and understanding of the Shadow Kami.

The chapter ends here, after they’ve crossed the boarder into Lightning.

So, brief(ish) recap.

I think the main things I’d really love to talk about are Shikamaru’s pact with the Shadow Kami, the team he put together, Hinata’s role, some of the minor worldbuilding that went into this chapter, and his relationship to Temari. Which is obviously a lot to talk about lol but i really love this chapter.

So, to start with, I wanna talk about the less in depth stuff, which would be the team he put together and Hinata specifically.

I think it’s obvious that Team Eight and Sai were the best choices for this incredibly covert operation. Sai with his experience in ROOT and Team Eight as a team of trackers were the best candidates, even though Team Eight doesn’t necessarily specialize in undercover work. My thinking is that every shinobi has to have at least a basic grasp (cough except Lee) of undercover work and disguise. We obviously don’t get a lot of that in the series proper, but the series sort of takes the fact that these characters are ninja as more of a loose concept. ANBU and ROOT are really the closest to actual ninja, I’d say. Whereas Genin, Chuunin, and Jounin are more like your standard military personnel, I guess.

But that all being said, I don’t think you could really have someone be a successful Chuunin or Jounin without some experience and skill in these areas. I mean, as we saw in the first Chuunin exams, one of their tests was literally intelligence gathering without getting caught.

The team itself is large, but I didn’t want to skip out on using any of these characters, because each of them offered something vital to the team, and I don’t think Shikamaru would want to risk not using all the skills available to him that Team Eight and Sai offer. Sai’s obviously the best and most likely to fit into this role, and I think Shino is also well suited to this kind of work, but Kiba and Hinata are a little harder to place here. Kiba because he’s rather brash, and Hinata because she’s so... meek and bland. But Kiba is honestly easier to justify than Hinata from the off.

Hinata is always the character I struggle with the most because she doesn’t really offer us much in the canon. I’m sure someone will tell me I’m wrong or whatever, but Hinata exists specifically as a vehicle for male fantasy fulfillment. She’s fan service. Big tits, sweet, meek, totally devoted to the hero. Her arc revolves around Naruto, she exits to prop him up.

And that was a big reason why I wasn’t going to avoid writing her into TAoL. I couldn’t. I needed to address the issue of her relationship to Naruto, for starters, and I wanted to give her the chance to grow. I like her more when I separate her from Naruto--whether that’s presenting their obviously imbalanced relationship as detrimental to her and thus something she needs to finally let go of, or just not having her interact with him at all (like in Kado).

Shikamaru wondered if Naruto would even care that Hinata's acceptance of this mission was her way of breaking up with him.

I wanted to make it absolutely clear that this was the end of her relationship with Naruto and the start of her becoming her own person. We don’t get her PoV in this story because she’s not a central character in the grand scheme of things, but she has her own journey, and that revolves largely around her being a more competent shinobi and defining herself separate from Naruto. She’s faked an illness without telling him and he never went to see her--their relationship is over, and Hinata can finally move on.

And she starts to come into her own within this journey. She’s not in Konoha anymore. She doesn’t have her father to contend with or her sister or Neji’s death. And she doesn’t have constant reminders of Naruto (except when Kiba’s being an ass). Writing her as a more confident shinobi is... difficult to say the least. I personally don’t think she’s actually suited to shinobi work (politics, sure, but not actual combat), so even though I’m writing her as a more competent shinobi, it was very hard for me to suspend my belief for that. But that’s always been my problem with Hinata, and I kinda had to push myself past that hurdle of “is this recognizably Hinata?” because 1) she isn’t the central figure and 2) I need her to not be too much like Hinata because otherwise their cover is blown. So I can accept that she might come across as a lil OC. She’s undercover anyways, so she’s not gonna act like herself. And again, I want her to be more interesting and more dynamic than she is canonically.

But it definitely was a struggle.

Setting aside the issue of Hinata, I think the most fun I have when writing Naruto fics is really the worldbuilding aspects. For TAoL, I have like countless reference books and my kanji dictionary is always on hand. You can bet that any original towns and characters, I spent a lot of time scouring my kanji dictionary for a good name. Even if the name is fairly innocuous in meaning, I didn’t just pick it at random.

So for instance, Kōten Outpost uses kanji 995 in my kanji dictionary which mens ‘take a turn for the better’. Kōten is at a four way crossroad, and it’s specifically a place for travelers, merchants, etc.

Kōten Outpost was a quaint, sprawling town at a four-way cross-roads and the oldest settlement in Fire.

Long before Konoha or the rule of shinobi, before the daimyo, before the Warring States era, Kōten Outpost had sat like a picturesque painting. In the midst of wars and battles, in the midst of political upheaval and petty squabbles over boarders, Kōten Outpost had withstood the test of time for long centuries and would most likely continue on well after the age of shinobi.

Obviously, if you’re reading TAoL or just about any canon setting fic I write, you know I like worldbuilding. Kōten is a small piece of worldbuilding, whereas Gyokukakushin is a much larger piece, but Kōten still has it’s place within setting the stage and developing the world of Naruto. I really liked coming up with all the different towns in Fire that were affected by the skirmishes, and I really enjoyed imagining what the towns not run by shinobi would be like. What the people are like, what their culture is like, how they feel about shinobi. I think Kōten is a good example of a snapshot of worldbuilding--not a lot of depth per say, but enough that you get the sense of what it’s like.

With this chapter, however, the focus isn’t on the places and the culture of those places, so it really is just snapshots of places. Yugakure, Shimogakure, Kōten Outpost... This chapter is about the desperate hunt for information and doing whatever it takes.

That being said, the worldbuilding element comes into play again in a big way with Shikamaru and the Shadow Kami.

Admittedly, this was not in my original outline of this fic at all. It was something I came up with in the midst of writing this chapter, and it did make me kinda nervous to take this mystical route with Shikamaru given that nothing in the canon supports it. But then again, nothing in the canon supported aliens, and yet we have canonical aliens. \

Anyways, I felt that, despite my anxiety over the reception, Shikamaru was at least suited to this because I think it’s much easier to pull off mysticism with something like shadows. Plus, we don’t have a lot of canonical backstory for most of the clans, and I enjoyed bringing something new into the canon history, something wholly different.

Precautions had been noted in the scroll for this ritual, warnings from the first ones to perform it of the dangers it posed; his ancestors reaching from beyond the past to guide him through a long forgotten practice: Never look upon the Summoned, for they are more than mere shadow. Never show weakness to the Summoned, for they do not borrow hearts and souls, and will not show you any compassion. Never appear before the Summoned without an offering, for they are bottomless voids and will take you if you have nothing to give.

I really wanted to emphasize that the Shadow Kami do not follow human laws and are entities outside of human conception. There’s a lot more planned for Shikamaru and the consequences of what he does here are far reaching. I don’t want to spoil anything, but I can promise that what Shikamaru’s done doesn’t end at the end of this fic. This isn’t a one time deal, like “oh you can use our power for a little while and then we’ll slip away and you can be a normal shinobi again.”

Shikamaru has unleashed something that will live within him forever. And it will pass on to future generations (assuming he has children at any point.) He, of course, knew the risks, but Temari is everything to him, so what’s being a vessel for Shadow Kami if it means having the power to save the woman he loves?

I wasn’t entirely sure how successful I was in conveying these consequences and I really worried over how OP Shikamaru would be, but the questions I always ask myself are:

1. Is this errand? 2. Are there consequences?

And the answer to both of those questions are yes, in this case.

Shikamaru is a genius, and he’s in line to be the head of the Nara clan. He has access to the scrolls that contain these guarded secrets, and he absolutely doesn’t care about the consequences even though he knows there will be heavy ones.

While yes, at this point, Shikamaru has essentially achieved god-like powers, he cannot control them, and he is always going to run the risk of losing himself completely to the shadows. Shadows aren’t human. They don’t have human rules. They don’t have human wants. And the Shadow Kami, like I said, are bottomless voids. They take and take. Shikamaru has to rely on his own willpower to not be lost.

I imagine that the next Shikamaru chapter will explore more of the Shadow Kami history and the Nara clan history, but I think overall, the introduction to the Shadow Kami was good. It’s a hard balance though for sure because on the one hand, the Shadow Kami are a HUGE plot element that needs to be explored and talked about, but I also don’t want to take away from the immediacy of what’s happening in the overall story--the danger that Temari is in, which is always at the forefront of Shikamaru’s mind.

Which brings us to his relationship with Temari.

She’s his motivating factor in all of this. He does care deeply for Kankurou and Gaara as well, but Temari is the love of his life. That’s his everything. I personally am not a fan of maintaining Shikamaru as this like misogynistic person. He was twelve at the start of the series, and I think it’s safe to say he outgrows that, and also his desire not to get married. I think he genuinely values Temari--as a person and as a shinobi. She’s his equal and his partner.

And I think she’s sort of the great equalizer between him and the Shadow Kami:

Shikamaru's resolve hardened. He wasn't shadow, he wasn't just an empty void for them to fill. He might have given up his body and his humanity to them, but he would never give up his love. He sat back down, and forced the shadows to recede from his veins.

I personally feel like Shikamaru as this sort of embodiment of the lazy genius, this very blase and carefree “i wanna look at the clouds” character has a lot of potential to fail and become uninteresting. I think Temari makes him more interesting because she challenges him, and I think that the focus on their relationship really helps to highlight the pull of the shadows. Now he’s in this constant dance between giving himself over completely, and not forgetting Temari.

The antler that comes up repeatedly throughout this chapter is a symbolic link to Temari.

The antler ring tethered him; it was a blinding light to chase away the darkness; a necessary reminder of who he was and what mattered to him.

I think by the end of the chapter it’s fairly obvious what this is meant to be: an engagement ring.

I decided that it was a Nara tradition to make a ring out of antler, and Shikamaru carries this with him, making the ring when he has downtime on the mission. It’s not just a symbolic link to Temari to help him stay grounded, it’s also his assurance that he won’t let her die.

The repetition of the ring as an item on his person is inspired by a creative writing assignment I had back in college. There’s a story called The Things They Carried, and it kinda reminds me of being in theatre and having object work for a character you play. But the idea is that the things a character carries tells you a lot about them. It’s a window into someone’s soul, a way of communicating something about them without outright telling you about them.

So Shikamaru carries this piece of antler, that starts out as nothing more than a piece of antler and slowly turns into a ring, because he’s lost any and all reservations about marriage in the face of losing Temari. His love for her drives him onward, and his love for her is why he can’t fail. The ring is his refusal to fail.

I think that the ring is one of my favorite elements in this chapter. It’s obviously very subtle and small compared to like the Shadow Kami, but it’s such a desperate and beautiful element of romance. The image of Shikamaru awake late into the night, whittling down the antler until it becomes a ring, his promise to Temari whispered into the night. I think that’s powerful, and I think the ring really does highlight that in a way that not even the pact he made does.

And.... that’s I think the main stuff I wanted to talk about!

This particular chapter was actually supposed to cover their time in Kumo, but the chapter itself had gotten so long at that point that it didn’t make sense to keep going. Plus, the way this fic is planned out, it made sense to move everything that will happen in Kumo to a later Shikamaru chapter.

Thank you so much for this ask! It was fun to talk about this chapter! <3

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hi lovely! Just sending my ask for what we talked about! I work for a bingo company as a chat room host. I talk to players, answer queries and running quizzes. Could i request a piece of patrick being bored while i work, tonight i work til 1am so once he finished school I'd be working. I can just imagine him being so bored and cute.

To add on to my recent ask...you'll know what i mean...ASSSSSSSSS DAT ASS!!!!

My dearest Charlotte, I know exactly what you mean ;) there’s nudity in this piece but it’s not NSFW so fair warning ^^ I hope that you enjoy this piece, please let me know if not and I’ll write you something else ksksksk this is personalised just for you, so enjoy! 💜

Quick disclaimer: It’s mentioned that Pat goes to school but Heath was 19 at the time of filming and so I write Pat to be 19 - 22 years old.

Word count: 1, 763.

You were already working when Pat came home from school. 

You had over a thousand people in one chat room and over three hundred in another. You were typing as fast as you could to talk to players and to answer any questions they had, and your fingers felt like they couldn’t move fast enough, your brain working faster than your body could move. It made a panicked ache bloom in your chest sometimes, but for the most part were you confident and sure of yourself. You knew what you were doing. Your wrists were cramping horribly but you pushed forward to fulfil your minutely quota.

Your laptop was hooked up to another monitor so that you could see more of everything at once. Your eyes moved over both screens, your fingers were moving as fast as you could manage. You were well and truly in the zone, focused and working your absolute hardest. So focused were you, in fact, that you completely missed Pat coming home from school. Usually, he made a fuss when he came in, wanting all of your attention, but you started work at four fifteen in the afternoon and he came home at almost five. You were already in full swing and Pat sequestered himself in the living room so that you remained undisturbed in the bedroom.

You had a migraine, too, and you were feeling nauseous. You were tired and you were feeling bad about so many things; things you had no control over, things you couldn’t change. You desperately wanted for Pat to cuddle you and to take care of you - 

Just as the lump in your throat, made up was it of a wad of emotions impossible to name or define, grew bigger and made your eyes sting with tears which only blurred your vision and made you blink them away rapidly, there was a small knock on the bedroom door and Pat cracked the bedroom door open just enough for him to come through. He shut it as quietly as he could with his free hand; the other was balancing a tray made up of a glass of water and some food for you. He tiptoed around the room so that he could set the tray on the nearest available surface, moving with exaggerated movements to, at the very least, make you smile.

You barely even glanced at him, your fingers moving over the keyboard. Occasionally did you mutter something to yourself, something which you needed to do or remember, and Pat was entirely enraptured by you. You were so focused but all the signs were there that you weren’t feeling good. Pat sat down beside you once the tray was settled and he further moved and laid down beside you, keeping to himself and being as quiet as he could. He had missed you today but you would be working until one in the morning and so Pat had to get his fill of you where he could. You were the best part of him, the most exciting part of his day, and Pat always made sure that you knew how deeply he loved you.

Pat was not a quiet man. He loved spontaneity and adventures, making you laugh. Your smile was one of his most favourite sights and Pat worked to see it every day. Some days, on his darkest days, it was for your smile that he even got out of bed. What the two of you shared was so deep and so rich that it was beyond words, though you exchanged plenty of those. He managed to lay there for half an hour before he sighed. It was a long and heavy sound saturated with boredom.

“Hey there, girlie,” Pat sighed, reaching out to touch the small of your back. His hand was pressed flat against your shirt, the heat of him seeping into your own body and warming you from the inside out. It felt good to have Pat there with you and you pushed yourself backwards just enough so that you could enjoy his touch a little more. Pat chuckled low in his throat and slipped his hand underneath the hem of your shirt so that he could soothe you as best as he could without disturbing you. He knew that you weren’t feeling okay but you wouldn’t finish for another five hours or so, and it was all that he could do to be there for you.

“Hi, Pat.” You smiled slightly, your heart squeezing with love for your Aussie. You loved him with your entire being and you knew that Pat loved you with all that he was, too. “How was school?”

Pat chuckled. “I don’t know. I skipped most of my classes.”

“Pat!” You scolded him half heartedly, your eyes not leaving your work. You had to remain focused no matter what. You continued to type with one hand while the other grabbed the glass of water. You drank deeply, clearing almost half the glass in one hit,

“Whoa, easy,” Pat laughed as he crept closer to you so that he could lean his forehead against the small of your back, underneath your shirt, “Breathe, love.”

“Mm.” A noncommittal noise and then, “No time.”

Pat remained where he was, underneath your shirt, his soft curls tickling at your skin, his breath gently fanning across your flesh as he inhaled and exhaled through his nose. You thought that he might have been asleep there, tucked into you. You felt him move as he pulled his legs up so that he was in the foetal position, curled up into your back. An arm lifted off the mattress which cradled Pat’s body and wrapped around your lower belly. He didn’t squeeze you, for that could hurt you on a bad pain day, but he shuffled closer to you, full lips clumsily pressing a kiss to the space of your back which was closest to him. “I love you.” A sleepy, incoherent mumble. Oh, but he was so tired. He often stayed up with you while you were working, so he was up at seven in the morning to get ready for school and he didn’t go to bed until one in the morning or whenever you finished. When he came home from school, he would collapse into bed with you (gently, so as to not cause you any more pain) and sleep until you finished work... and so the cycle would continue.

There was nothing that he wouldn’t do for you. True to his surname was he a romantic. He was a sweetheart and he told you every minute of the day that he loved you; with his words and with his actions so that never could you doubt him. In return did you reassure him of the same and the two of you clung to each other with all that you had. You were there for each other through your best days and through your worst; there was nothing that you wouldn’t do for the other person and there was nothing that either of you could ever say or do which would make the other love you any less or be any less proud of you.

“I love you too.” A pause and then, “Are you sleeping because you’re bored?”

“Well, that and I’m tired.” Pat’s body shook the bed with his laughter, his fingers stroking soothingly along your side, once again under your shirt. He craved you like his lungs needed oxygen.

A hand left your keyboard just enough to reach back and blindly feel along Pat’s legs. Your fingers rested upon his black jeans for just a moment, long enough for him to register that you were touching him, and then you had to get back to typing; there was always just so much to do. Pat ended up falling asleep against you, his arm curled around you. He must have been more tired than he had let on, but faithfully did he remain beside you until you were finished. You picked at the food he had made for you as your shift crawled past and at last, at last, when the clock struck one in the morning and your shift finished, Pat was the first one to spring up. 

He was blearily eyed, his curls flat on one side where his head had been pressed against your back, and he helped you to put everything away before without finesse or thought did he strip down. First his charcoal grey long sleeved shirt, tossed unceremoniously into the corner of your room, then his black jeans were shed and left as they were on the floor, the trouser legs left inside out. You stared, utterly captivated, and Pat caught your heated gaze with his own. A wicked grin accompanied his next words to you. “I bet you’ve thought about me naked, huh?” Pat winked as he pulled down his boxers while he slid into bed. You caught a flash of his bare bum as he did so and you felt your entire body heat up in a blush.

“Thinking about it now, yeah.” Your voice was weak in your arousal and your body feeling shaky. Oh, the things he could do to you...

Pat threw you another wink and leaned over the bed to peel back the duvet on your side - get in - and you smiled in relief as with a weary sigh did you sink into bed. Pat leaned over and shut the bedside lamp off, plunging the room into darkness. Your head was pounding as your migraine got worse and your nausea increased, too, but Pat, intuitive as he was, began to gently massage your scalp with one hand, the other one draped over your hips again. He didn’t squeeze but his weight there was a deeply reassuring one. 

“How are you feeling, love?”

“Really shitty. You?”

“Worried. For you. Come on, we gotta sleep - busy day tomorrow. I love you, you know that?”

You tipped your head, searching, wanting. Pat chuckled, knowing what you were after, and his lips found yours in the dark. His kiss was sensual, slow and reverent as he explored your mouth with his, his tongue darting out to deepen the kiss. You welcomed him into your mouth and turned to face him, moving your body carefully to get closer. You wanted more of all that he was. 

As you pulled away, needing to breathe, Pat hummed softly, the noise swallowed by the returned sentiment, “I love you, too.”

It was your simplest, heaviest truth.

Patrick Verona @jokershyena @loveletterstoledger @itsthejoker @royaleclownx    @tsukiakarinobara    @arianatheangelworld @antonija89​  @hotpacino​

[kob131]

New "So This is Basically X" video from Jello Apocalypse is on RWBY, and it's a bunch of pretty much crapping on the show.

(Note: read the Edit section for my recollected thoughts. I’d jus rewrite the post but that’d be like covering my mistakes)

… You know what? My dog just died so I am in no mood to tolerate this bullshit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3vYbF3_TAk

A. ‘Added into the show at the last minute’ he says as his own fucking image directly states that the ‘last minute’ was the fucking Red Trailer. AKA the fucking psuedo-pilot. He had so many other chances like Neo or ABRN or the fucking Maidens but nope decided to do the ONE wrong thing.

B. ‘Hoitty Toitty Princess’ Yeah, because she was abused by her dad for years as well as watched her mother degrade into a lifeless husk. Again, could have made an actual point but decided to just spew out the most basic shit ever.

C. ‘Lose every fight she’s been in.’

*cough* WHITE TRAILER *cough*

Also: Fucking Missed Oppritunity: 3 *ding*

D. ‘Weiss hates Ruby’

That stopped in Volume 1, try again

E. ‘How many ears do they have?’

2 or 4

‘Human ears?’

Always

‘Animal ears?’

Sometimes

‘Neither?’

That’s you

‘BOTH?’

Sometimes

‘Why do some of them only have tails?’

Genetics

‘Humans are racist against the Lagoos’

Says the man who tried guilt tripping half the population through racism accusations.

Missed Fucking Opportunity: 4 *ding*

E. What couldn’t find say bullshit to spew about Yang? Missed Fucking Opportunity: 5 *ding*

F. Those are fucking one offs characters. Homer’s Vegas wife isn’t referred to as a side character, why should most of these be any different?

Also: ‘Never explores any of these!’ *shows team CFVY who are getting their own fucking book*

Good to see you still suck at making a point.

G. ‘Show isn’t about the characters!’

We get it, you’re slurping the anti-RWBY crowd’s cock. Make a valid point that not everyone and their grandmother’s grandmother made years ago.

H. *tries citing Neptune, a character that had about twenty minutes of screentime total as ‘eating up’*

Are you gonna do SOMETHING worthwhile? Because these jokes fall flat with a basic knowledge of the show.

I. ‘It’s about the over the top spectacle fights!’

Which not only were far less frequent in other ‘similar’ shows but they sometimes just #ate up screentime.

Missed Fucking Oppritunity: 6 *ding*

J. *butt metal!*

*cites Flynt, a fucking JAZZ musician*

What’s next? ‘Durr, marvel movie orchestra? BAD1′

K. ‘durr, clipping issues!’

*Slaps Fist Of The Blue Sky: Re:Genesis onscreen*

Come back when you make a point.

L. Jello, at the 2:10 mark you’ve done nothing but either say the same standard bullshit (which gets disproven within a minute of research*) or make shitty Take That! jokes.

About fucking RWBY. Egoraptor’s Ocarina of Time and ScottFalco’s Pokemon videos are mocking the shit out of you because you somehow made a worse version of both, about a less subjective medium with a fucking barrel full of fish. Guess that ‘Vote’ video must’ve fried them braincells huh?

M. Dust is elemental gunpowder, how is such a basic concept too complex for you to handle?

N. ‘Steal Dust and never bring it up again!’

Probably because the ending of Volume 2 was the END GOAL of stealing the dust you dumbass.

O. The magic comes straight from the fucking gods, Semblance and Dust have been used in Remnant science. Or is my cheap ass phone magic because someone from the 17th century doesn’t know how it works.

P. *points behind Jello at the massive burly man with the title ‘Lord of the Rings’ on it’s chest*

Have fun with him.

Missed Fucking Opportunity: 7 *ding*

Q. Wanna bet if the RWBY haters didn’t slurp Chibi’s cock he’d be bashing hibi instead of praising it.

R. *join the plot*

Ruby is the fucking plot.

S. So I’m guessing you’d call Hercules’ rage against Olympus and Hera ‘him getting a little mad?’

That’s okay, just like how you’d say your little ‘vote’ video was just ‘you having a little brainfart; amirite?

T. Ah yes, Volumes 1 and 2, which had the least defined characters, the most wasted screentime, the least plot, the least likablke versions of the heroes, the most side characters (INCLUDING NEPTUNE WHO YOU MOCK)-

Literally EVERYTHING you’ve spewed out your mouth was in the first two Volumes and 4 and 5 are the worst ones. Sure.

Missed Fucking Opportunity: 8 *ding* (Should actually be about 8001)

U. ‘Speaking of garbage *which is a segway I could put anywhere in this video’-

Good to know you’re aware of the piss poor quality of the video. Now if only you’d learn to keep your trap shut.

V. Ozpin was never suppose to be morally grey, next.

W. …

*pulls out Qrow and Ruby and replaces it with Yang and Liar Bitch McMass Murd-I mean Raven.*

Wow, context kicks your ass.

X. Jello.

What is the plot of RWBY?

No ‘Well there IS no plot’ bullshit. Tell me. What. The plot. Is.

… You can’t can you? This is the fucking Vote video all over again. You’re talking about a subject you have no clue about, spouting off whatever you think will get you the most positive PR and did no research whatsoever, Except with the video so infamous you had to DELETE it, politics is an inherently difficult subject matter that is easy to screw up (well, not to your extent.)

This is a web show.

Made by two drunk interns and an animator who took inspiration from BLAZBLUE.

And you have NOT made a SINGLE valid point.

The closest you got was the lip movements but you CLEARLY weren’t talking about the Volumes where it mattered so fucking credit.

Y. Blah blah blah ‘Bumbleby bullshit because pander’

Z. Qrow: ‘Oh ad my sister sold me and the daughter she abandoned twice before to the literal devil. Also why I am saying the bird thing is a curse? I defended Ozpin. My sister is the one claiming it to be a curse. Because she wanted to get away from the immortal pseudo-Greek villian which is a common feeling most people would think to do since it appeals to the inherent pragmatism in humanity but I overcame it through my niece’s determination to do the right thing in the end because just being pragmatic and doing what is most likely to succeed goes against one of the few things that make human beings what we are!

… Now I’m gonna go say my political opinions like I’m an important figure and not a walking punchline only known for mildly entertaining content that has suffered such a drop the Simpsons are looking at me in pity because I have a massive ego. And then when people call me out, I’ll delete the video and mock them like the child I am.’

*cracks open a beer* I don’t care if that’s cruel. He wants to talk like he knows shit? He can take it.

Edit:

https://twitter.com/alle1304/status/1137340212315643904

Well I owe him an apology. Over thinking he was pandering to the hate mob as well as my stupid attitude.

However I still stand by a lot of what I said: He missed a LOT of opportunities to make a good point and instead went with the lowest common denominator stuff. Like with making the joke about Weiss hating Ruby. It’s not funny because the joke is based on heavily outdated information and is just blatantly untrue.

There’s a reason why his ‘Welcome to *Website*’ videos are funny. Because while it is an exaggeration of what happens on the websites, it’s still basically true. Humor works when it strikes hard, either by throwing something so absurd at you that you’re forced to laugh because you don’t understand it, so raunchy that you laugh at the absurdity in which something so wrong was said so earnestly or by saying something so true that you’re forced to laugh to make light of the situation.

Jello’s video doesn’t do any of that. It either says a bunch of basic stuff that doesn’t work with knowledge or is saying things in a satricial way that people , EARNESTLY say, basically invoking Poe’s Law on himself. (The law of ‘Without a clear indication, a satire of X can easily been taken as an earnest belief in X.’)

This isn’t to say I was justified in what I did: it’s just even in a rational state of mind, the video is too flawed to be funny.

(Also no, I don’t regret what I said about the Vote video.)

[kvltprince]

I was tagged by the lovely @leporidaefluff (Thank you! it was the push i needed to get started on this instead of just going oh~ neat~!)

Rules:

1. Choose an OC.

2. Answer them as that OC.

3. Tag 5 people to do the same. Sorry if anyone has already been tagged, no obligation. @ heathie on whatever acct cos im a dumbass an i miss your bois(you miss em too), @randomwordsandstormydays, @randomfuzzbunny, @jornaquinn @chrysocolladawn ( @somewhere-withoutyou if you would...) and anyone else who would enjoy doing this. (if i get tagged again ill do anther oc. i would tag a few others but i feel weird tagging ppl i dont like ever talk to lol.)

What is your name?

"Lucy Grandchester, yeah that one.” 

How old are you?

“Fourty-five unless you are getting nitpicky about cryostasis. That doesn’t count unless I am joking with a ghoul, honestly.”

What do you look like?

He lets out a small half chuckle, "Oh, we are doing this okay. I’ll bite. Slightly short middle aged punk, long greying curly hair, undercut, with one leg and too many tattoos?”

Where are you from? Where do you live now?

Lucy uncomfortably takes down his hair and redoes his messy bun while sighing and becoming a bit short. “I’m from just the other side of that irradiated water near that gas station south of here. Name kinda gives it away. You have seen it? I honestly am not sure how it’s standing still between the bombs and everything else. It’s looked after now, and is a surprise asset to still have. I lived in Boston for a while after all that, and back in this area once Nuka World was opened, then back in the Boston area, and would you look at that I am back in Nuka World and it is a lot more comfortable now.”

What was your childhood like?

"...Unstable, for everyone. It got a bit better once my parents were dead... are we done with this line of questions? Or am I excusing you?”

What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

“Well, I started out trying to play nicely vaguely with anyone that didn’t try to shoot me first. That.... hasn’t stayed how it is. At least not fully, though i generally play nice until I am given a reason not to. I am friendly with the Disciples, the Operators, several of the Children of Atom groups that haven't irradiated their sense out of their heads yet, the Railroad.”

Tell me about your best friend.

He finally visibly relaxes the rest of the way after that history business, and takes a drink of a quantum. “Oh only one best friend? Are we in high school again? aw Alright. We have some parallel histories.” He swirls the glowing drink, but doesn't let himself get lost in his head too far. “Great humor, puts up with my shit somehow, doesn't blow my sneaking. Laugh that could take on the world even though they probably wouldn't. No I am not spoiling who I decided on. A man has to have some secrets somewhere and mine are in short supply”

Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

“My son Shaun never ceases to surprise me with what he can come up with, and how well adjusted he is. Codsworth is still helping out with the household, and helping keep Shaun from disassembling live turrets while I am away, though now he is living here at Fizztop with us. Surprisingly it seems to be an alright setup, and Shaun has taught a few people some upgrades in their downtime. There is enough room to keep things comfortable, and I have done some park remodeling since I arrived. My closest companions that don’t hate my choices I have made I consider family, but that has become a smaller circle than before.”

What about a partner or partners?

“Gage of course, he is my husband for whatever it is worth in the wasteland. Otherwise I suppose that depends how you are defining that. I am an affectionate person and some people seem to have rather strict definitions of where the edge of friend and partner should be”

Who are your enemies, and why?

“Several people aren’t speaking to me very well at best after I have settled into the Overboss seat here, on a personal level. The Pack were wiped out. The Brotherhood were wiped out. The Institute were wiped out. The minutemen are pretty pissed understandably. The Gunners still show up in vertibirds sometimes and are still pretty fun target practice. My settlements are generally comfortable, and my outposts mostly only have problems with gunners or trappers. Minor annoyances.”

Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

“Yeah, of course. I think they got too headstrong for their flightsuits. I mean I understand but you really can’t do that shit and expect no repercussions. It was quite a firework show honestly, I wonder how far away the heat was felt..”

What about The Enclave?

"I don’t know much about them, only one of their ex-soldiers, he didn’t exactly tell me much. Cute, a bit odd. Not sure if it is the radiation that did that or not.”

How do you feel about Super Mutants?

He has a flash of a pensive thought drift across his face “There’s a few that aren’t so bad. Obviously the FEV isn’t mass-curable though, so not exactly much of a choice what to do about them unless you like getting a rocket launcher or a nuke in your face.”

What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

“Proobably~ around Bunker Hill, It was just, A Lot. That whole time was not just the specific fight. I don’t remember a lot of it, I’m pretty sure Gage half dragged me home after the main running around and meetings after the fight. I don’t think I had a full thought for a while.”

Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

He thumb points to a sniper rifle leaning against the wall “Yeah, too often, thankfully usually I see them first, and I’ve gotten the sneaking thing down. They make pretty good steaks.”

Do you like fighting?

“Sometimes, honestly. Something tired and overstated about old habits or something boring. Really though, it is exciting and keeps the boredom away. Playfighting and sparring will do, no need to draw blood. I guess. Good to keep knife and sneaking skills sharp however you can.”

What’s your weapon of choice?

“A modded real sharp Throatslicer she called it, I swear Nisha found this thing in the loading dock or something it is the nicest box-cutter I have ever owned. Opens up anything.”

How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)

“Outlive everything around me usually by not being seen, notice it first, shoot it faster, stab it more, talk my way out of it, or by luck. I have zero real idea, but I can eat nearly anything and I bet that helps too.”

Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

"Of course, there are a bunch, and I was ushered into 111 to turn my life upside down. They seem to only be any good for salvage, horror stories, clean water sometimes, and if you are real lucky a trade post and a shave. I have a settlement vault that is doing well that I have taken over and built up, but that is not Vault-Tec related, obviously.”

How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

“I have a few recipes that are good for radiation, though it doesn't affect me very badly overall and I am slow to feel any sickness. I suspect that one day I will turn into a ghoul.” He is rather matter of fact and unbothered by this, and hints that he knows that not getting sick much from radiation means just that.

What’s your favorite wasteland critter?

“Probably the stags and gazelles and other herd animals. They are overall unchanged other than most have two heads now, they are still nice to watch”

What’s your least favorite wasteland critter?

“Honestly? radscorpions? Those fuckers are too quick and you cant shoot them cos they tunnel and they knock you on your ass and poison you and just UGH”

How do you feel about robots?

"Robots are alright if they are not causing trouble. Some of them are nice. Jezebel is not so nice, but she is guarding red rocket and bitching the entire time so shes no longer my problem. The Rust Devil’s robots are a pain in my ass for real.”

How many caps do you have on you right now?

"Plenty.”

Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

He cocks his head slightly “I havent heard that one in a while. Depends on the flavor of Nuka Cola, I do like Sunset Sarsaparilla though, if you have any.”

Do you do chems?

"Not recreationally anymore. No, not because of him.” He nods toward Gage “It just, gets out of hand”

Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

"Not as often as you would expect, I mean obviously there is the ‘oh i remember when that wasn't destroyed’ of things, but things are more comfortable than I thought they could be”

What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

His eyes narrow slightly “I don’t really do regret. Things were done the way they were because it was the choice at the time. A choice now for an old situation isn’t helpful to living my current life or my old life. I am not living then, I am living now.” 

What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?

“Surviving all of this, and myself. Creating this strange semi-stability in this post apocalyptic place.”

What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

“Keep me and mine safe, happy as we can be, and I hope that my found-family never fully stops growing. Curious what the future holds for my raiders and friends, there is so much potential, it could be risky but it is there. For once it is a good solid place to be, and it’s mine.” Lucy polishes off his questionable as hell drink with a smile.

[roseamongroses]

PP part (4) : “two secrets and other lies we told ourselves without realizing “

Warnings: Lowkey life related crisis, Self doubt,  cursing, jealousy but not in the way you think tbh

Characters: Remy Sanders, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Roman Sanders, Logan Sanders, (Mentioned: Deceit: goes by Eaton)

backround pairings: Remy/Patton, Roman/Logan, Virgil/ His vintage car seats, his career, and his cats

p(1) p(2) p(3) 

Ao3

On paper, Patton and Roman were just friends

Eyes narrowed, Patton crammed another chunk of cake in his mouth, brushing away the crumbs with the sleeve of his newly finished knitted sweater.

Across the table his boyfriend, sighed, rolling his eyes,  “You’re not  going to convince me by throwing a tantrum,” He huffed, giving a pointed look over his tinted frames, jabbing his own barely touched cake with his finger for emphasis,  “Look, girl, girl, you put too much damn vanilla in this.”

“I did not,” Patton swallowed, sniffing through the pain, “You’re just being mean.”

Remy scoffed, smiling, “Sure thing babe, “ he leaned over swiping some of Patton’s icing that escaped onto his face, tongue flicking out to taste that abomination of humanity, “Totally not,”

“Ugh, “ He batted Remy’s hands away, “No respect in this house I swear-” His nose curled, eyes darting to the kitchen, his kitchen, “My chocolate muffins shi-” He sprung from his chair, darting out the room, table and it’s random array of various holiday-themed ornaments clattering dangerously .

After a few dozen noticeable crashes from the danger zone, Remy's phone buzzed. Easily slipping  it out, Remy glanced towards the kitchen before eying the string of texts, “Bitch,” he frowned, noting the recent timestamps of the vague as hell texts, “Ugh, this tea better be strong.”

He sighed, brushing off the remaining crumbs from his leather jacket, pushing his shades further up the bridge of his nose, he stood up, humming as he strolled to the door.

Swinging it open, he scowled, amused, “Isn’t it my favorite trash-man, what’s this? Late.” He tsked, moving to let Virgil inside.

“Shut your face,” Virgil sneered, quietly shutting the door behind him, not bothering to remove his jacket, “Weren’t you the man who was late to a dinner date at his own house?” His eyes narrowed, fighting the smile automatically curling on his face.

“I was seeing the sights,” Remy shrugged, lazily making his way back to the table.

Rolling his eyes, Virgil follows suit picking the seat closest to the door, “Remy, you disaster, you were in the house.”

“So,” said disaster clasped his hands, looking like a bored madman, “Where are these complications and how are they so complicated that you didn’t even spill over text?”

“Drama rat.”

“Correct, now did these complications involve the chess discourse or do they involve 80-year-old women threatening to destroy someone’s legacy from the source.”

“Neither,” Virgil said, reaching to steal Remy’s cake, which he pushed towards him gladly, “Though Lucy is pissed you didn’t visit last week,” he carelessly bit into a large chunk, face souring immediately, but swallowing nonetheless.

“Hey, this drama rat has to pay his bills.”

“Excuses, excuses,” Virgil ate another chunk with more visible ease, “Prince and Prince Charming are in the car,”  he grumbled, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“What are they making out all over your vintage seats or something?”

“I wish,” Virgil snorted, “They’ve been talking nerd the entire way, and that’d be fine if they didn’t somehow manage to shove their unresolved romantic- sexual shit into it.”

“Ah, I remember those days,” Remy almost swooned in distaste, “How long have those two have been pining? One? Two months or something?”

Virgil stared at him, slowly placing his fork down, blinking slowly, “Try... five... years.”  he said as if the reality had just dawned on him.

He picked up his fork again, slamming it down for emphasis, “Five fucking years, holy shit. I’m done with Roman and his dramatic bullfuckshittery, fuck thi...and Logan. Logan. Nevermind I should’ve expected this...then again they aren't really obligated to define themselves, but my seats are too delicate to handle them avoiding it completely like they are--” his eyes were glazed, as he continued mumbled rant of vague curses.

Patton chose that moment to peek out of the kitchen, satin bonnet now on,  smudges decorating his face, and soft hazel eyes holding a deathly gleam, “Did you just say Roman?”

Remy smiled sweetly, shooting Virgil a glare, “Yes, Roman, who just landed in Italy,  right Virgil?”, meanwhile, he internally pleads for Virgil to shut the fuck up.

Virgil flushed, avoiding Patton’s curious gaze, “R-right, Italy--Italy. You know this cake is really good Patton let’s talk about that and not Roman, who is in Italy. Rome. Like his name...” he said, stuffing another scoop of the overtly flavored cake in his mouth.

Sensing weakness, Patton narrowed his attention onto Virgil, who unlike Eaton, could hardly manage to tell any less than the truth. It’s what Patton had always liked about Virgil. Especially moments like now, when Remy couldn’t sass his way out of interrogations.

“Virge,” Patton tilted his head, just a bit, batting his eyelashes, “You wouldn’t know if Roman, who I love more then anything-”

“The fuck am I?” Remy scoffed, not surprised

“Boyf-best-friend is different then Best-best-friend, love-” Patton corrected, not missing how Virgil none too subtly tried to fade into the furniture, “So, if I text him now he wouldn’t tell me he’s outside?”

“I….Uh.” Virgil looked to Remy for assistance.

They both knew the only other person worse then Virgil at keeping secrets from Patton was Roman. Not because he couldn’t lie for shit, hell he could give Eaton a run for his money if the chips were down. No, it was more like Roman would actually kill a man before he willingly disappointed Patton, even for a surprise.

Remy looked away like a goddamn traitor.

And that was enough evidence for Patton to go power walking out the door, not even bothering to put on shoes. By the time the other two had trudged out there, Virgil briefly raiding the kitchen beforehand, Patton was a bundle of giggles, excitedly chattering and bounding around the guest. Roman looking pleased, face flushed and beaming, and Logan looking vaguely disoriented, standing behind Roman as if Patton would bite.

‘Which he does.’ Remy smiled, standing in the doorway, eyes appreciatively watching his boyfriend’s freckled face, his initial irritation washing away.

“Ugh, stop giving me oogies,” Virgil blandly complained, not really looking up from his popcorn, “ I thought you said you ate your emotions.”

“I do. Without remorse,” Remy said, watching Patton’s attempts to talk to Logan, “--but he’s like, really cute though, look at him he’s like a puppy— it’s  hella  unfair.”

“Excuses,” Virgil glanced at Patton, who still wore that damned sweater dress, despite the rapidly fading brief winter weather, “Valid as they are—“ he admitted between mouthfuls, “Are still excuses yah filthy gremlin. Just admit it, you’re old and full of icky emotions like the rest of us.”

Remy scoffed, looking over his sunglasses appalled and mouth open for rebuttal, but whatever not teen rated thing he had to say was halted all as once as Patton twirled around, beckoning him to greet their guests.

Remy slid away quick with a bit too much skip in his “cool guy” walk to even be considered casual.

Virgil rolling his eyes and stubbornly remaining in the air conditioning called out, “You fucking softie..”

“You bet your vintage ass I am,” Remy said, flipping him off before sliding an arm around Patron guiding him and their honored guest inside.

Watching the clouds gather outside, Virgil knew it was going to be a long night.

-

Patton sighed into the cheap lawn chair they kept on the porch, the soft rolling of thunder, and the soft thuds of the incoming rain a familiar accompaniment as he lazily stirred his tea. It was strange to think that the holidays used to feel so...draining.

A lot of the time he spent it trying to ignore the overwhelming loneliness it brought seeing the whole world past lights blazing, laughing easy. Even when he was offered a place to spend the days with Roman and his parents or Virgil and his grandmother, even the rare occasions Eaton offered to let him hang out with their group of friends, it felt like he was intruding in someone else’s moment.

But now...the moment felt all his. It wasn’t the flashy lights or dramatic public displays, it wasn’t traveling the world, throwing himself headfirst into whatever life gave. it was something softer, comfortable. And he loved it.  So he didn’t understand why he felt so…

“Oh, Patt, there you are,”  the screen door opened, Roman ducking outside easily.

Patton swallowed, setting his tea aside, “Yea, Virge kicked me out of the kitchen,” he sniffed, “-and I don’t drink at every possible occasion, unlike some people.”

“Hey, hey, is that judgment?” Roman gasped, sitting in the other chair gayly, feet somehow propping themselves up while simultaneously maintaining an air of politeness, “Or-or, is it you're mad that shades and you lost?

“Oh I’m not judging,” Patton hummed, judgmentally, “I’m just saying that shoving Remy off the couch, while he was already tipsy is a questionable method at winning Mario Cart.”

“Virgil promised me a dollar if I did, that’s a lie I did it for free.” Roman shrugged, taking down his messy bun and threading his hands through his hair, “Anyway! Shades and Specs are sulking because I kicked their asses once again and, now, ugh!  Refuse to give me any more attention, “ he whined, slumping further into his seat, “Patton, I needed attention, I can feel my youth draining already.”

Patton snorted, “What about Virgil?”

“He’s sleeping like a babe,” Roman scratched his chin, “A very loud grumpy babe, who hissed when I  moved him upstairs because he can’t admit he likes being carried.”

“So I’m your last choice?” Patton said, “I’m hurt.”

“You shouldn’t and you weren’t,” he said, “I would’ve bugged you earlier but Remy threatened to slice me like a cake if I disturbed your peace. “ He sniffed, “The nerve, me? Disturbing the peace? I’m a delight.”

“Well, there was second grade when…”

Roman’s face flushed, “I was a kid, a very justified, gay kid.”

“Mhm, that’s what you always say,” Patton said, grinning, “How about that time at the park, with Ms. Flores. -”

“She might be old, may she be at peace, but she was petty and I never fail to rise to the challenge.” he crossed his arms, “And don’t mhm me, it was second grade! I’m allowed to have crushes, even if they have abysmal taste in writing.”

“Now that I think about it you’ve had crushes on a lot of our friends, most turned into squishes but... hmm..” he sipped his tea content, “Virgil, Eaton, Nate, Terrence-”

“Pat, please no, you said you loved me,” Roman groaned through his hands.

“I think me at one point?” Patton said, setting his cup down, “Don’t know why though…”

“I was five,” He huffed, “And you are cutest out of all of them.”

“Mhm, sounds fake, but that ring pop was pretty, plus,” Patton said, before adding on a bit more quietly, “I think it’s cute you had so much love to give,” He curled into the seat tighter, that creeping unease settling on him as easily as he pushed it away.

“Huh,” Roman paused, “I thought I was just...flaky.”

“No…” Patton frowned, “No. You are not a flake Roman, you throw yourself into everything, into everyone. You didn’t stop loving your crushes, you just love them a different way."

"No relationship is ever just…” Patton's voice hitched, “ no person is just a stepping stone for you. Well,” he forced a laugh, “At least I hope not, you have gotten pretty big online...you travel all the time, meet people all the time. Your career’s bigger than anything I've made in the workshop…”

Ah, that’s the feeling.

Not jealous….just…less. Too slow. Not enough. He was almost 30 after all, what has he to show, what has he done?

“Uh, Patton amour, pardon my french, but that’s bullshit,” Roman said, brow furrowed and trained on him.

“Wha-?”

“It's,” Roman leaned closer, “Bull-” he said, “Shit.”

Before Patton could finish gaping and respond, Roman jumped in, “Did you or did you not pay and work your way to college?”

“It was a community college-”

“It was unthinkable for you. Remember? You expected to fail high school, to barely get your GED.”

Patton smiled sadly, “I hated school.”

“As you should, some, not Mrs. Huang she was a saint,  those teachers were fucking obnoxious shits with only a diploma shoved up their--”

Roman grumbled shaking his head, “Let it go-Let it go-Let it fucking go--,” he half sang, “Anyway, you hated the system, but you worked it. You graduated, went to college with little support at home. And got a whole job.”

“Roman I…” Patton slumped, “That’s great, wonderful, fantastic, but got that job I expected to...move on, to make a change, now I don’t have any expectations at all. I don’t have a growing career…”

“No, but you have a stable one.” Roman said, hugging himself, “Sure, my growth might be a bit much...but that’s all I have right now. Growth. Nothing’s stable, nothing’s set in stone...nothing is ...mine.”

“Roman…”

“No, I’m not being self-deprecative...I think. It’s just,” Roman sighed, rocking in his seat, “When my blog’s gone when my videos are gone when my friends all around the world start to settle down what do I have to show my progress?

"Patton, you have a home, a community you support and see every day, a fiance who loves you as much as you love him. I love my life to death, I’m thankful I can even have it, but sometimes, a lot of times, I think. Shocking, yes, but I think."

"About when I’m old, about when I’m dying, about when I don’t want to do this anymore. When I just want to settle down and just rest I--” He laughed, body jerking unnaturally," Will I even have a chance? None of it seems real now…And I-” he squeaked, Patton plopping into his lap.

“Pat-” Roman whined, “I --Ugh, sorry I was supposed to let you sulk,” Patton rested his head on  Roman’s shoulder, playing with his hands.

“We can sulk like this,” Patton said, throat tight, “Being sad with friends is a preference of mine.”

“Even if it solves nothing?”

Patton closed his eyes, “Who says we have to solve anything?”

Because in the end, they were just Patton and Roman

[orange-in-the-overcast]

And to switch things up, all qs for Knife Dad (Xavier)

1. Their age?

49, but if you ask him, he’ll tell you he’s 25.

2. Their sexuality/sexual preference?

Your local knife bi, though Xavier’s got eyes for one man and one man only.

3. Any siblings/Only child?

He had two sisters growing up, though unfortunately they were separated a long, long time ago. He hasn’t seen them since.

4. Their favourite season?

Winter.

5. Who were/are their parents/guardians?

His parents were a couple of ass-kicking Rafels like he is. They taught him everything he knows, including his impeccable sense of style.

6. Their gender?

Male.

7. Their date of birth?

Month 5, day 21 (December 21st)

8. What clothing style?

You better believe this man’s fashion is on point at all times. His style could probably be best defined as “classy badass.” Lots of cool jackets and vests, dark colors, nice shirts and pants, the kind of boots you’d want him to step on you with. His clothes are maneuverable enough to fight in, but you bet your ass he’ll look fly as hell while he’s shoving a knife in your throat. He’s also very upset that Castor didn’t inherit his eye for fashion.

9. What is their favourite food after a break-up?

He actually learned how to make bomb-ass udon from his parents, and that’s his go-to post-breakup meal. It calms him down, and it helps distract him from what’s bothering him by reminding him of home and people he loves.

10. Their favourite thing to do after a break-up?

Throw knives at things to vent his feelings, mostly. And then curl up on the couch in a mountain of blankets and watch shitty reality TV.

11. What happens in the ‘honeymoon phase’ for this character?

Xavier is like a cat— when he wants attention, he will demand it. And there’s no one he demands it from more than someone he’s in a honeymoon phase with. He’ll always be touching the other person somewhere, whether it be looping their arms together, resting a hand on the person’s shoulder, leaning into their side, or pretty much anything else he can get away with. He also soaks up as many cuddles as he possibly can, and will refuse to let the other person sit down anywhere unless he can be next to them or in their lap.

12. How many serious relationships have they been in?

He’s had about four serious relationships over the course of his life, the last and most important being with Elliott, of course.

13. What is their nationality?

He’s technically American, though his family is Japanese.

14. What languages do they speak?

He’s only really fluent in Common, but he knows a smattering of most major languages in the galaxy— at least enough to ask someone their name or where the bathroom is.

15. What is their profession/Education?

Like everyone on Earth, he went through the Genesian education system they’ve got set up there, and he hated every moment of it. Before he and Elliott became revolutionaries, he worked as a security guard for the Genesians and also hated every moment of that.

16. Their favourite comfort food?

Homemade fried rice. Easy to make and very satisfying.

17. What’s a food they hate?

Keep carrots as far away from this man as possible. He can’t explain why he hates them, he just hates them.

18. Their music taste?

He likes a lot of classic rock and indie vibes.

19. Is there a story behind their name/meaning?

No particular story, his parents just knew he’d be a cool guy and gave him a cool sounding name.

20. Something they do that seems childish to others?

He loves playing pranks on and spooking people, which he used to do to both Castor and Elliott all the time, no matter how much they yelled at him for it. He’s also one petty motherfucker and will hold a grudge against people for the smallest shit until the day he dies.

21. What is their all-time favourite TV show?

He’s always been a fan of shows that’re a little spooky, like Stranger Things.

22. What is their all-time favourite movie?

Deadpool holds a special place in his heart.

23. How big is their family?

Most recently, it’s just been him, Elliott, their rowdy baby boy, their adopted niece, and her parents.

24. Are they close to anyone specific in the family?

He loves all his family, but he was closest to Castor. The two of them had a unique bond that Xavier was always grateful for.

25. Have they got any allergies?

He’s allergic to bullshit.

26. Are they an emotional person?

Not particularly. Happy emotions, he shares freely. Anything else he tends to bottle up. Castor learned that from the best.

27. Do they get angry/lose their temper quickly?

More easily than someone like Elliott would, but he only really gets pissed at people who deserve it.

28. What are some of their guilty pleasures?

Buying new clothes, excessive knife twirling, teasing his husband and son to death, TV shows so bad they’re good.

29. Do they have pets? Do they want pets?

He hasn’t had pets in quite some time, but he did have a dog when he was younger. They were best buds.

30. Do they like kids? Do they want kids/have kids?

He’s not a fan of kids as a general concept, but his son is his entire world, and Polly is basically a daughter to him.

31. Who’s cuddle buddy are they?

Elliott’s, of course. Husband gives best cuddles. He also used to cuddle up with Castor and Polly for movie marathons or whenever they were feeling down.

32. Do they have any tattoos?

He has a couple. One is just Elliott and Castor’s names and a little infinity symbol on the inner side of his wrist. The other is a small raven tattooed like it’s perched on his hip bone.

33. Do they have any piercings?

He has two piercings in each ear, one lobe and one septum.

34. What is their hair colour? Is it their natural colour?

His hair’s black, and it’s his natural color.

35. Do they like musicals?

He’s not a huge fan, but he can always appreciate musicals when they have good costume design.

36. Do they like marmite?

Never had the chance to try it.

37. Do they like glitter?

A small amount of glitter can only enhance everything.

38. Do they believe in the supernatural?

He’s a bit of a skeptic, but you better fucking believe he told his son tones of ghost stories just to spook him.

39. Have they ever seen a dead body?

As much as he wishes it weren’t true, yes, he has.

40. Have they ever had a near-death experience?

Well, for all Castor knows, he’s dead now, so I think that counts as a near-death experience.

41. Have they ever broken a bone?

He broke a few when he was younger just from doing stupid teenage shit. Castor always enjoyed hearing his stories about it.

42. What are they like when they’re drunk/what kind of drunk are they?

He’s the kind of drunk that’ll just sit there and rant to you about anyone who’s ever wronged him ever, and then once he’s done with that, he’ll go do the stupidest shit he can think of.

43. Have they ever drunk underage?

He did when he was a teenager, but he’s definitely of age now.

44. What is the first thing they do when they wake up?

Takes a shower and deals with his hair, because there’s a ton of it and it’s absolute chaos in the morning.

45. Do they consider themselves popular?

Generally speaking. He was always fairly popular with other people in his community because he and Elliott tended to be generous with their neighbors.

46. How do they like their tea/coffee?

He’s happy with just cream in his coffee. Just enough to sweeten his bitter soul a little.

47. What do they smell like?

Sandalwood, fresh rain, and a hint of leather.

48. Are they a virgin?

He’s about as close to being a virgin as Castor is to being a sex god.

49. Do they wear glasses/contacts?

He wears contacts, though he doesn’t like to admit it.

50. Are they good at remembering significant dates? Anniversaries, birthdays etc?

Not nearly as good as his husband, but he tries his best.

[windfighter]

02. In the hands of the enemy

Reynir woke up to a bunch of voices in his head. He tried to slap his hands over his ears, that helped sometimes when he had trouble focusing his powers, but his hands where tied behind his back. He blinked a few times, closed his eyes and took deep breaths to gather himself. Was he alone? The voices were getting clearer, but his head was throbbing and it was hard to zero in on one of them.

”Come on, what are these made of?!”

Sigrun's voice was outside of Reynir's head and he opened his eyes again. The room was dark, but he could see shapes spread out around it. Sigrun's voice seemed to come from the shape mounted to the wall. It was struggling, pulling at something.

”Do I have to chop off my hands? Because I will do it.”

I don't want to chop off my hands.

Reynir shook his head and focused on the shape. He needed to clear his head, use his skills to their advantage. He sat up and the shape stopped moving.

”Hey Psy, you up?”

”Almost”, Reynir answered.

”Can you tell where we are?”

Reynir shook his head, which made the throbbing get worse and all the voices got louder again.

”Took a hit to the head, it's all muddy.”

moving get run don't let them what plan hurry got it need to out

Reynir leaned against the wall. Sigrun pulled at the restraints again.

”I think they're coming”, Reynir offered.

Sigrun let out a string of colourful words. Reynir chuckled at it but then the word gun echoed in his head and he choked on his laugh. He kicked the shape closest to him.

”Can't move”, the shape answered. Mikkel.

”Why do we keep you around if we can never put you in the front when we need it?” Sigrun asked.

Because of my powers.

Mikkel audible rolled his eyes but ignored Sigrun. He tried to turn to Reynir, but he was covered in restraints and settled to call Reynir's code-name.

”Psy, any intel? What are we facing?”

”Bad guy of the week.” Reynir closed his eyes and tried to focus. ”I can't hear what they want from us. They have weapons and there's at least 6 people out there. One or two are coming this way.”

”I hate when the bad guys have weapons. Pyro? You up as well?”

Silence. Sigrun let out a loud whistle and the other shapes started moving. Another wave of disorganized thoughts flared through Reynir's head but he quickly closed his mind to it.

”I hate the name Pyro.”

”Come up with a better once we're out of here. They have weapons, think you can deal with it?”

I'm too pretty to die!!!

Reynir had to hide a chuckle. Emil shrugged.

”Depends on the weapons, really. A flamethrower? Definately. A battle hammer? No way.”

Lalli and Onni sat up as well, looked around. Onni glared at Reynir. Reynir didn't need to read Onni's mind to know he blamed Reynir for their situation.

”Lall... Shadow, can you get my...”

The lock clicked. The door opened with a bang and they all fell still. Reynir tried to focus, tried to read the people that entered the cell. A loud scream echoed through his head, made the throbbing headache spike and he had to turn away. Sigrun pulled at her restraints again.

”You won't break out. It's a special material based on spider's silk.”

”Science hasn't been able to solve that yet”, Mikkel commented.

”Underground science works on... different ethics.”

”You are a bunch of cowards!” Sigrun pulled harder against the restraints. They stretched slightly, then forced her back into the same position. The scream in Reynir's head fell silent, he could follow along again. Their captors weren't scared, weren't worried.

”They know about us”, Reynir realized.

There were two of them in the cell. More of them waiting outside. Reynir could hear at least 10 different voices, 10 different minds, apart from those of his team mates. One of them held a gun, which Emil should be able to take out once it fired, the other one had a bag and there was something... incredible evil over his mind. Reynir couldn't penetrate it, but he didn't need to. The person stepped into the cell, up to Sigrun. She tried to kick him, but her legs where tied up as well. His hand reached towards her throat and then he backed away again.

”We would have done this while you slept”, the gun-wielding maniac said, ”but we figured this would be more exciting.”

There was a metal collar around Sigrun's neck. Bag-man moved again, quicker this time and Reynir's eyes couldn't keep up with his movements. He felt something press against his throat, fall into place around his neck. The image of an explosion passed though his mind and he felt sick.

”Bombs”, he whispered.

”You catch on quickly”, Maniac said and walked closer, placed the gun against the back of Reynir's head. ”Now for the fun part.”

Reynir swallowed, looked at his teammates. The opening of the gun pressed harder against him, Maniac leaned closer.

”You get to pick who dies first.”

Images of his friends blowing up danced across his mind, put there by Maniac and Bag-man. Bodyparts splattered around the cell, blood covering the walls, covering Reynir. Reynir's breathing got quicker, his eyes got wet. He couldn't.

”Picking yourself will only force them to watch their friend get killed, do you want that?”

Maniac's breath was hot against Reynir's cheek. His friends' voices shouted in his head.

Pick me all of them ordered. Stall, get out of here. Reynir didn't dare look at any of them.

”They're all trying to order you around now, aren't they? Trying to tell you who to choose, what you should do. Aren't you tired of it? Don't you want to just go ape-shit?”

I might heal. Reynir couldn't pick Mikkel, they would need him when they got out and no one could heal from getting blown up. I can stop it. Reynir trusted Emil, but it wasn't a safe bet. It just needs to ignite, then I can redirect it. So much could go wrong with that plan. Once I get out of here I'll kick their asses to hell, drag them back and kick them there again. Sigrun wasn't helpful, but nothing could be helpful in this situation.

”If you don't pick...” New images flashed through Reynir's mind and his stomach turned. Torture. ”...we'll go the hard way.”

Bag-man grinned, the evil radiated stronger from him. He lifted his hands. TEN echoed through Reynir's head, bold, bright and heavy and increased his headache. Reynir's breathing got even quicker. Lalli just stared at him, didn't say anything, didn't think anything. Onni's thoughts were filled with ideas of how to get out, none of them functioning. Onni... Onni, can't you do something? Reynir asked even though Onni couldn't hear him. Onni was strong, a magic-user, but somehow they must have neutralized his powers or else Onni would have been on his way out already.

NINE in big bloody letters. Reynir glanced at Emil, but he couldn't tell in the darkness how ready Emil was. And even if Emil was ready, and Reynir went with Emil, could he be sure Maniac would actually let Reynir choose?

EIGHT. Reynir glanced at Lalli. Lalli had melted into the shadows, disappeared from view and only visible because his restraints were glowing.

”Why are you doing this?”

Reynir needed to stall, needed to find a way out.

”My friend thrives on death”, Maniac answered. ”I'm getting paid.”

SEVEN.

Reynir considered haggling. Maniac was quicker.

”There's nothing you can say to take me out of the deal. And my friend can definately not be persuaded.”

SIX. The counting got quicker. Reynir had to think quicker as well, still needed to stall, still needed to decide. He didn't want to see anyone of them die.

”Why isn't your friend talking?”

”An accident. He's very sensitive about it so if you mention it again our happy fun times are over.”

A new voice appeared inside Reynir's head. It was far away and he couldn't quite make it out.

”The two of you have any names?”

”None we would tell you. How about the red-head? Aren't you tired of her always jumping into fire and dragging you with her on missions way out of your skillset?”

Reynir glanced at Sigrun. She looked dumbfounded back at him and he wanted to shake his head but the handle of the gun hit him hard in the back of his head and he fell forward, got pulled up again.

FIVE. The new voice seemed to be coming closer.

”Or the pretty one, who never quite seem to accept you as part of their group, who keeps giving you the cold shoulder every time you offer your friendship?”

I'm sorry. Emil seemed sincere, but Reynir couldn't look at him. You are a friend, I'm just bad at friendship. Emil straightened his back. I'm ready. Say my name. Reynir shook his head.

FOUR.The new voice was close enough that he could make out its sound. An excited scream with numbers and equations floating around it.

”The grumpy one, who constantly judges you, constantly tells you you're not strong enough? Aren't you mad at him? Don't you want to get back at him, show him who holds the cards now?”

THREE. Reynir's stomach threatened to escape. Almost there. Right left left right. Eeeeeeeee.

”The big one, too busy flirting with the red-head to notice you exist. Too busy dismissing your every word to ever listening to you. Does the world really need him?”

The world did and Reynir wasn't going to pretend otherwise. He straightened his back. There was really only one person he could choose.

TWO. Reynir swallowed. He had made up his mind. Maniac pulled the gun down, just a centimeter but it was no longer pressed against the back of Reynir's head. aaa, wrong floor, up up up.

”Or the quiet one? Who never lets you get close, never lets you befriend him? Who looks at you like someone looks at a dog who pooped on their shoes. Does he deserve to live more than the others? Haven't you sometimes wished he would just disappear?”

ONE. Reynir took a deep breath, prepared to tell them who he had chosen. Screams shot through his mind, then a loud crash echoed through the room. Bag-man fell over and the room was lit up. One robot, two robots, three robots arrived through a hole in the floor. Shots were fired and Reynir ducked to the floor. A bullet hit his collar and the collar fell off with a clang. He kicked it away, pushed himself in the other direction.

”Sorry I'm late”, one of the robots said and Reynir's body relaxed, he felt his soul leave his body and get dumped straight back in it. Fire was dancing across the ceiling, filled the hole in the floor, covered the door and stopped anyone from escaping. Maniac's clothes were on fire, Bag-man was down, blood flowing from a wound in his chest. One of the robots grabbed Reynir, wrapped around him. Not robot, armor. One of the armors opened the faceplate and shot him a smile. Tuuri.

”I'll try to cut it less close next time but this place is a maze!”

More robots arrived, grabbed all of them, and then crashed through the door, the fire sizzling out behind them. Maniac fired at them, bullets bouncing off the armor. Reynir closed his mind, didn't want to hear the screams from the people they passed by, the people they took down as they flew. He didn't want to hear his teammates offer consolations after Maniac's words. He wanted to hide, curl up and recenter himself before facing them.

”Almost out!” Tuuri's cheerful voice called through the coms.

Skylight had never been so sweet. They kept going, flew along a river, dove into it and eventually made it back to their base. The armors pulled away, went up to podiums near the walls and powered down. Everyone was looking at Reynir, everyone a little singed, a little bruised, a little bloody and a little tired. Mikkel put a hand on Reynir's shoulder and Reynir could feel Mikkel's powers looking him over.

”Are you okay?”

Reynir wasn't, but he smiled.

”Always.”

[udonta-wanna-know]

Friday Night Carnival Fights

Summary: The reader convinces Yondu to take Peter to a nearby carnival since he helped with a big job. Yondu notices reader eyeing a certain prize and is determined to win it fair and square. That is until he realizes just how rigged the games can be. Its not wise to try and scam a Ravager Captain.

AN: Hey if anyone wants tagged in my future stuff just let me know~ I didn’t want to tag anyone this time without their permission 

Warnings: None really? Maybe a bit of foul language but well it is to be expected lol

~3600 words

Carnivals had always been your happy place. The warm summer nights lit up with blurred neon and the smells of sweet and salty food that left you with cravings for days. You looked forward to them every year, knowing they would bring nothing but good memories and a new addition to your collection of cheaply made stuffed animals. You had thought that you might never get to experience them again, you doubted there would be carnivals in space. And after joining the Ravager crew you doubted there would be time for it.

Well join wasn’t exactly the right word. Kidnapped was closer to the truth but even that wasn't exactly the truth. You had run away that night, crying and heartbroken after discovering your boyfriend cheating on you, and begged for someone to take you away from it all. You had meant it in more of a metaphorical dramatic sense but your desperate prayers almost seemed to act like a homing beacon. Next thing you knew you were being beamed onto a in the flesh space ship and surrounded by a group of people you only had one word for: aliens.

There had been a lot of freaking out, you may or may not have thrown up on some ugly dude you now knew as Taserface out of anxiety, which was not helped by a big blue angry man screaming at you to be quiet. The only way you even managed to not pass out from hyperventilating was when Kraglin came to herd you away and actually explain to you what was going on. Apparently the Captain, the angry blue guy, had recently forcibly adopted a child from Terra and decided he needed a nanny from his home planet. It was definitely a shock and you weren't sure what to say. That was until you actually met Peter, the poor boy seemed terrified but his eyes lit up upon seeing someone from home. The way he looked up at you with wide eyes and held out his Walkman to you  saying “We can listen to music together if you want!” melted you heart and the rest was history.

It had proved to actually be the best choice you could have possibly made. It turns out that there were some perks to living with a bunch of space pirates. You got to see far off galaxies, the crew showered you with gifts as you were treated as a sort of beloved den mother, you were getting to help raise Peter who had quickly found a special place in your heart and then there was Yondu. Your relationship with him was hard to define. He was kind to you, at least when it was just you and his closest crew around, and you had shared more than a few nights in his company. Yet at the same time the arguing between the both of you was famous through out the ship and several planets. It was mostly about the way he talked to Peter, you knew he never planned on eating him but you still didn’t like the fact that he decided the best thing to do to keep him in line was terrify him. There were other things of course but most of that was just petty arguments between two hard headed people who each wanted the last word.

It was one of those fights that had led you to being in the last place you would have expected: a carnival. Well it certainly wasn't the same you were use to, the foods were almost unrecognizable and the rides looked terrifyingly unsafe and ran entirely by aliens even shadier looking than the ravagers. But it was close enough and your own excitement was mirrored in Peters face as he gripped onto your arm and seemed to be buzzing with anticipation. You smiled down at him and pushed the bangs out of his eyes. “Thank you so so soooo much (y/n)! I can't believe you convinced Yondu to let us dock here,” he said bouncing along beside you.

“Hey you deserve it kiddo. They would have been coming back empty handed if it weren't for you. And you know me, secretly I run this show,” you said bending down to his eye level and giving him a wink as you fixed his jacket and slipped some extra units into his pocket. He looked up at you with wide admiring eyes, muttering a small 'wow'. In reality you had just out screamed Yondu. It had taken a day and a half, most of which he was just babbling none sense but eventually you had wore him down. He usually gave in to you, in fact you were almost sure he wouldn't have hesitated at your request if he didn't have a reputation to hold up. Either way you were happy with the outcome, this a treat for you as well as Peter.

“The only thing you manage to run is your mouth until I can't sleep from all your naggin'” you heard a distinct growl say before feeling a arm wrap around your shoulder. “Now you get out of here lil runt. Ya wanted to come so bad so go and have the fun (y/n) insisted you needed,” Yondu said making a mocking talking motion with his hand. You rolled your eyes but still leaned into him with a faint chuckle. When Peter hesitated, eyes darting between the two of you Yondu snapped at him “What, are ya hard of hearing or something? I said get!”

Peter jumped back but boldly held his head up high. “Well I was hoping to go on some of the rides with (y/n) and we wanted to see if we could find some cotton candy,” he protested in a bit of a whine to which Yondu immediately glared. Sensing the trouble you could see the young boy swallow but then a certain spark lit up his eyes. He grinned ear to ear and held out his hand “But if I had some extra units I wouldn't have to come bother either of you for anything all night.”

“Eh I bet you think you're so slick. If I hadn't taught you how to blackmail myself I might be a little more upset. Here take these and don't let me see ya all night unless you're dyin,” Yondu said shoving a pouch into the boys hands. You saw his own pockets still bulging with money so you knew he must have been planning to give Peter the money in the first place which made you smile behind your hand. “Now go on boy, Kraglin is waiting for you over by the twirly mcgig thing. Stay close to him ya hear! Don't make me have to save your ass and then eat ya!” he called after Peter as the boy ran off.

“If I didn't know any better I would say you might actually care Captain,” you said ducking out from his grip, spinning on your heel to face him and sending your dress twirling around your legs which Yondu watched very closely. “And with the way you were so quick to send him off I might think that you wanted me all to yourself tonight. But seeing as you didn't even want to come here that can't be any where near the truth,” you said with fake shock, bringing a hand up to your cheek.

“Now I see where he gets it. The mouthy brat takes after you,” Yondu said flashing you a crooked grin, reaching out his hands to grab firmly onto your waist and pull you back to him. Now you and him weren't exactly together, well you weren't exactly not together either, you had never labeled what was going on between you two. All you knew was that you liked the way his hands felt and that your heart was fluttering against your ribcage and that you didn't want this feeling to go away. “Now come on darlin' I was nice and gave into this silly lil request. The leas' ya can do is keep me company. I mean I'm sure I could find an escort droid around here some where but why bother when I have your pretty face right here?” he said cupping your chin and squeezing your cheeks slightly.

“Because this pretty face actually talks back,” You said with a small smile, placing a hand over his own  and taking a step towards him. “But I think I might just be able to make my time in my very busy schedule for you. It seems my boss gave me the night off after all. That old prick never does that so I mind as well make the most of it,” you smirked now walking backwards and nodding your head towards the vendors “that is if you can keep up.”

“Oh girlie you are playing with fire here. I may not like everything you are saying but damn if I don’t like the way you say it,” he said tossing his head back and giving a barking laugh. He easily caught up to you, hands in his pockets and humming quietly to himself. He did that whenever he was in an especially good mood but you didn't dare bring it up. You had asked him one time about it and only got a 'you don’t know wha' yer talkin' bout' snapped at you. You doubted he even realized he was doing it but it made you smile. It wasn't nearly as pretty as his whistling but this was much more … him. Him in his natural state, not worrying about appearances or ship repairs or Peter or anything else that came with being a captain. It was the him you thought you could possibly fall in love with, if he ever allowed himself to be that person.

The night was going smoothly, you got to talk calmly with Yondu for the first time in a long time. Sure he was still his usual crude self and he mostly did just talk about his favorite subject, himself, but there was an almost more gentle nature to it. Every now and again he would let it slip about how he hoped Peter was behaving himself, that he didn't want to much trouble for you and that he wished he actually had more time for the both of you. It was stuck in between inappropriate comments about what exactly he wanted to be doing with you that involved the type of eating he wasn't threatening Peter with but it was still there. And the thought that he really did care past everything else was enough to bring a faint  blush to your cheeks. You hoped that it was hidden by the glow of all the neon signs.

You passed through rows and rows of food trucks, scattered with the occasional vendor selling small trinkets which Yondu always had to stop by. You didn't really mind but you had your eyes peeled out for the thing you were most looking forward to: games. You knew that they were really nothing more than a waste of money but you couldn't deny how much you actually enjoyed it. The thrill of the challenge and the allure of finally earning one of the giant prizes. Finally after turning what had to be the hundredth corner your senses were assaulted by the sounds of carnies shouting, lights flashing and every color imaginable of stuffed toys. Your eyes lit up and your mouth dropped slightly, your hand falling away from Yondu's arm as you went to explore.

You didn't know where to look first, it seemed like most of the games were standard but there were so many new varieties that you could barely comprehend it. “You alright? I aint never heard you be so quiet,” Yondu teased giving a small pinch to your ass to get your attention back to him. He raised an eyebrow and tried to follow your line of vision. Your eyes had fallen on a teddy bear nearly as tall as you were, Yondu leaned his face next to yours and frowned seeing the toy. “Darlin you have to be kidding me. Please tell me you're starin cause yer disgusted and not cause ya want that eye sore,” he said holding back laughter.

“Its not an eye sore! Its exactly what I always wanted and Im going to have it by the end of the night,” you said stomping your foot and flipping your hair over your shoulder to hit him in the face. He sputtered and backed away with a growl, muttering under his breath. You chose to ignore this as you made a beeline for the booth that had the teddy bear on display. You easily weaved through the crowd, lots of practice running through the ravager crew to chase after Peter coming in handy.

“I thought the boy was going to be the death a me but I swear its gonna be her,” Yondu said to himself as he kept up with much less grace, knocking shoulders with just about everyone he passed. He saw you watching someone play the game, a silly thing it looked like to him with a wall full of balloons set up behind a wooden counter. “What kind of shit is this?” he asked scratching his chin and pointing to the poor sucker who was searching his pockets for more cash to hand over to the seedy looking carny.

“Its a classic. All you have to do is throw the darts to pop the balloons, it seems pretty easy but you actually have to throw them. No whistling allowed Im afraid,” you teased him as you watched a couple more people try their hand at the game. There was a faint pop here or there but nothing enough to actually win any of the good prizes. They all walked away with small toys that looked more like manufacturer defects than anything actually recognizable. “I use to be pretty good at it but never good enough to win the main prize,” you said with a sigh.

“Well why don’t you just buy it then?” Yondu scoffed, his lip curled and showing off his jagged teeth. You watched him from the corner of your eyes, a devilish smirk playing across your lips as an idea formed in your head. You may have never been able to win what you wanted but you had a feeling that he might. And you had a feeling you knew exactly what to say to get what you wanted but then again you always did.

“We could but that defeats the purpose. Half the fun is actually playing the game,” you started off innocently, feigning interest in how well the couple in front of you was doing “but its not really your kind of thing. Why don't you go grab us some food while I try my luck? Im sure it would be easier for me,” you continued making a shooing motion with your hands at him in the direction you had come from. You knew at once that it had worked. You heard a sharp inhale of breath and the sound of leather being crushed together as he rolled up his sleeves.

“Heh think I cant win some dumb game do ya! Ohhhh I'll show you princess,” Yondu said wiggling a finger in your face as he walked by. He slammed some units on the counter and glared at the carny running the booth. A teenager by the looks of him, although it was harder to tell with aliens given the weird colors and appendages. The one in front of you was a sickly green color with greasy black hair falling around his shoulders and fly like eyes, but some things seemed to be universal given his acne scared face and cracking voice.

“Its ten for three darts or fifteen for six. You need to pop six in a row to win one of the large prizes or you can trade up smaller ones for it,” he said in a bored voice, not at all affected by Yondu's glares. You couldn't tell if it was just general teenage apathy or that he might have dealt with worse in his time working there. “Just give me whatever, I'm gonna win tha' there bear so it shouldn't take but a couple of tries,” Yondu said proudly snatching the darts out of the teens hands. You saw the kid smirk slightly as he backed away throwing his hands up. You gulped and watched with wary eyes knowing that this wasn't going to be nearly as easy as Yondu thought.

Unfortunately you were all too right. You knew Yondu had good aim and if it were a fair game he probably would have won in the first round. Yet just like the fair games back on Earth this game was more rigged then the Ravagers poker nights. You watched as only two of the six balloons he had aimed at popped despite the darts meeting their mark. You could see the bewilderment in Yondu's eyes as they grew wide before narrowing. You laughed nervously and patted his arm “Ok practice round is over now you can give it a real try,” you said trying to distract him.

“Huh maybe I am a bit rusty,” he said slowly before handing over more units and giving it a second try … then a third and a forth and a fifth. Each try he became progressively more angry, his mumbles becoming shouts and his fin glowing dangerously bright. “I can only blame myself too many times boy before I start to suspect you're trying to pull a fast one on me!” he bellowed slamming his hands down on the counter.

“Or maybe your eyesight is going with your old age,” the teenager said, a finger digging in his ear and snapping a piece of gum loudly. You saw Yondu purse his lips and you gave a small squeak, expecting the worse. He glanced back at you though and though he was still tense with anger he let the whistle die. “I'll show you old,” Yondu said before grabbing the boys shirt and using the momentum to pull himself up and over the counter, sending the kid toppling into the dirt on the other side. Yondu then snatched the balloons that he hadn't been able to pop and squeezed them as hard as he could, digging his black nails into the material. But nothing happened.

“These here balloons are made of microfillament, which last time I checked was unbreakable material. Mostly used in battle armor so I can't help but wonder why you would use them in this here game unless, and correct me if I'm wrong, you didn't want me to win,” Yondu said shaking his head and laughing. The boys eyes went wide and he started to shake before attempting to scramble to his feet. He didn't get very far though before a loud crack was heard as Yondu kicked through the cheap particle board of the booth and stomped over to him. He grabbed the kid by the neck and shoved the balloon in his face.

“Now under the usual circumstances I would shove this thing so up your ass it would be coming out your nose but there is a lady present tonight. So to show just how merciful I am I will give you a choice. You can either give me that bear as well as all the money you have made tonight or I can drag you behind these booths to where the girl can't see and I am free to do as I please. Now whats it going to be?” Yondu asked, his lip curled up in a smirk that was just as terrifying as it was completely irrationally attractive. The kid couldn't even talk, any time he did it came out in a sob, but his choice seemed obviously when he started to empty his pockets.

A few minutes later Yondu was walking away counting his money with you by his side clutching the bear to your chest, you thankful for the futuristic technology that allowed the toy to shrink and grow as you needed it to. You were grinning like an idiot and losing the battle of trying to stop a fit of giggles. “Maybe I should let you and the shrimp chose stuff more often, it turned into a nice little bonus,” Yondu said chuckling, looking over at you with a sudden softness in his eyes “so uh you like it then? I know I didn't exactly win it the way you wanted but … well you got it and thats the point right?”

“I just didn't want you to cheat and technically you didn’t! Lets just call it an unconventional win,” you said sweetly moving so that you were walking with your arms brushing and resting your head on his shoulder “so thank you. I love it.” You could feel the blush rising to your cheeks, a warmth that spread through your whole body when he wrapped an arm around your waist and quickly brushed his lips against your temple.

“Well whatever my girl wants she gets. As I am sure you are all too happy to point out,” he said giving your hip a squeeze.

“Oh am I your girl now?” you asked biting on the inside of your cheek, holding your breath and trying not to look too hopeful when you looked up at him.

“Sweetie you always have been,” he said with a grin before cupping your chin in his hand and pulling you in for a kiss. You happily kissed back thinking that you could definitely live with that answer.

[sheepydraws]

I’ll Kick Your Ass, I’ll Kick My Fiancee’s Ass, I’ll Kick My Own Ass! (2/11)

Also on Ao3

Last Chapter Next Chapter

Part 2: Orientation

A slim black notebook with gilded pages. The cover is leather(ish) except for a shiny rectangle where the words “Diary” once were. However, on the inside cover is a nameplate that says, “This Diary Belongs To:” and is signed, “Akane Tendo”:

Why do I bother keeping this thing? All I do is read the entries where I’m happy and excited and figure everything will work out, and then I feel even more upset about what actually happened.

So, yeah. Dad went through with his threat-I mean, “frugality”, and made Nabiki drive down here with me and Kasumi. Nabiki was a total bitch about it so we didn’t get here till two. It’s a good thing Kasumi doesn’t look like a parent, cause she was supposed to be gone by five, but she couldn’t get out till six.

Once she was gone Nabiki went to the dining hall with me, probably just so I could ask, “Why is it so empty in here?” and she could say, “They’re probably all at their first assembly.” with a nonchalant sip of milk.

Her fucking soy milk that she isn’t even supposed to bring into the dining room.

So I scarfed my food and ran to the big arts hall, and I burst into the auditorium just in time for the sexual health and gender lecture.

They had just gotten to the part about gender identity.

I wanted to back out of the auditorium and punch myself in the face.

But I didn’t. Cause that would be even weirder than busting into an auditorium like it was prom night in an eighties movie.

So. Whatever. Great. A great way to start.

Technically nothing starts till tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better. I’ll actually meet people tomorrow, and we’ll do reading and stuff, and there won’t be any more awkward lectures about consent where everyone wants to laugh, or, at least, I want to laugh, but not laugh, but there’s a part of me that just wants to giggle every time they say sex.

It’s okay. Already it’s better than last year because everyone here is going to know me as Akane Tendo, and Ranma Fucking Saotome is two hundred miles away.

Now that is a good way to start the year.

Last Five Posts on okonomiyakimeansiloveyou.tumblr.com:

5. A big ole gooey slab of okonomiyaki spread with special sauce and mayonnaise, marbled so as to resemble the pattern usually seen on mille-feuille.

4. Fanart for Elementary.

3. Beyoncé on feminism, gif set.

2. A photo of a dorm room. Thin white curtains hang from the open window, grazing a bookcase (doubling as a bedside table) scattered with perfume, contact lens case, note book, colored pens, and an orientation flier face down. #already a mess #of course #makes it feel more like home

1. A picture of two girls sitting cross legged on a bed together. One is chubby, with her hair done up in two big buns. It’s so dark it is almost purple (or is that a trick of the light, or a botched dye job?) She’s smiling and making a peace sign with one hand, the other wrapped around the neck of a bottle of grape soda. The girl next to her looks like she was doing the same thing, but she jostled her can of ginger ale, and the photo catches her mid-jerk, hair whipping out behind her as she turns, trying to steady herself.

The next photo is the chubbier girl laughing as the other slumps against the wall, a hand over her face.

She’s smiling, though.

From: lethemeatpussy@yahoo.com

To: TexmexTesco@gmail.com

Dude, bro, man, pal,  

I’ve got a tournament, so I won’t actually be at school till orientation’s over (I didn’t know orientation was a thing, but whatever, the dean cleared me, so it’s fine) so do whatever you want to the room. I’ll deal. Should be there sometime Sunday.

See ya!

Ranma Saotome

——Bitches ain’t shit!

From: TexmexTesco@gmail.com

To: prettyporkchop@gmail.com

Dear Akari,

it’s almost midnight, but I really wanted to tell you that I got here okay, and it’s actually a lot nicer than you thought it would be. It’s not Oxford, but I like the view out my window. Our dorm is kind of built into a hill, so my room is on the ground floor, but there’s a story high drop right out my window, then a hill, then the woods. They’re the kind of thin, scraggly woods you get a lot in America, but I bet it’ll be amazing in a few months when all the leaves start changing color.

That’s really all there is to talk about. I haven’t even met my roommate yet because he has a martial arts tournament and won’t be here for orientation. I looked him up and he’s apparently some martial arts prodigy—if that’s a thing??? Maybe I’ll have something more interesting to write about when he does show up, but for now I just wanted to tell you I’m doing well, and I miss you, and I hope you’re okay, too.

Love, Ryoga

A fluffy pink volume with a tiny heart shaped lock you could break by jamming a switch blade in it. Although why would you want to, since Kodachi would probably repurpose it as an overwrought metaphor, thusly:

The sun rises

But the black veil of my loneliness

Will not be pierced.

I walk the balance beam with purpose

But tears slide aimless down my cheeks.

My misery fills me up. Roots my feet to the beam.

I break from gravity

Yet I cannot fly.

If twirling upside down can not change my perspective—-

How can college ever hope to manage it?

From: Nabikitendo@email.nsj.edu

To: Tsubasakurenai@email.nsj.edu

Your receipt for transaction #34092:

1 Carton Bailey’s Farm Fresh Milk:Whole Fat

4 packs of erasers

2 Canisters Smirnoff Whipped Cream

3 Jars Bacardi Maraschino Cherries (1 without flavoring, 2 with watermelon)

Total: 167.55USD

From: Nabikitendo@email.nsj.edu

To: picoletchardin@email.nsj.edu

Your receipt for transaction #39475:

5 Cartons Snappy Ice Cream (peppermint, peach, cinnamon bun)

6 loaves of bread, Blue Ribbon Artisanal.

4 packs Dom P’s dogs

2 cartons Altoid’s Mints

Total: 443.46USD

Facebook messenger:

Shampoo: Psssst—You didn’t hear it from me, but there’s a party this weekend.

Ukyo: Who’d you hear that from?

Shampoo: Dude in my discussion group mentioned it. Said it’s a freshman only thing.

Ukyo: Sounds lame.

Shampoo: Nah, he said it would be in that four person room, in the basement of the guys dorm? It’s big and the closest TA is a floor away so…

Ukyo: What do you think freshman can even get up to?

Shampoo: Ukyo, we’re college freshman now. What can’t we get up to? ;3

Shampoo:  Also dude was bragging that there would be enough booze to drown in.

Ukyo: I guess I can’t say no to bathing in bacardi ;)

Shampoo’s phone ——> Mousse’s phone

Could you tell gran that I can’t come home

this weekend?

                                                                                              Why don’t you do it?

You know she’s bad with texting.

                                                                                              She has more social    .                                                                                             media accounts than  .                                                                                             you do.

Restaurant stuff doesn’t count.

                                                                                              Still.

                                                                                              You could tell her if      .                                                                                              you wanted.

She’ll just talk me out of it. Ask

me, ‘why can’t you come see

your poor ailing grandmother?’

                                                                                              Fine. Only because   .                                                                                             you still fall for that      .                                                                                             when I am literally        .                                                                                             watching her haul a    .                                                                                             dead pig out of the      .                                                                                             car and gut it like a     .                                                                                             fish.

From: prettyporkchop@gmail.com

To: TexmexTesco@gmail.com

Dear Ryoga,

I miss you so much!!!! At least once the term starts I’ll have classes to keep me busy, but for now all I do is think about you and hope America hasn’t roughed you up too much. I know it’s a small college, you wanted to be closer to your mom, etc. but I’m still a little worried about how a year abroad is going to treat you.

At least I’ll get you for Christmas. It seems so far off (121 days, if you’re bored enough to count) but I know it’ll be here in a second; some years it’s like I get out of the pool and slide right into a jumper and waffle treads.

I hope your orientation thing is going well. Are you actually doing any work, or are they just making sure you know where the washing machines are? Did I tell you that when my Aunt Jackie was doing her first term she slept in the washing machine room for a week because her roommate always had her boyfriend over? I’ve heard so many college horror stories now that I’m going there. It reminds me of my first cooking competition. It’s only after you’ve been accepted and can’t back out that everyone starts talking about that time their oven exploded or their creme fresh was trés rotten. But I’m sure we can tackle this together. <3

All my love,

Akari.

——killin’ me softly/and I’m still fallin’/Still the one I need/I will always be with you

Kodachi’s Journal:

Oh!

That I were like the sparrow!

Free to leave come the winter

And return to any nest I chose.

Trapped in this prison.

Smiling

And behind my smile

I wonder

Who here can not bear the pain of the ambiguity of their emphembral ephmenral limited existence?

Am I alone in my pain?

Perhaps I could relive myself

If only I had a true grand experience

A truly life defining moment

To write about

For this stupid assignment

Which torments my dreams.

Akane’s Diary:

He’s here.

I was in the boys dorm because Betty, (this girl I’ve been hanging out with, Bio major) wanted to grab her boyfriend for dinner. Like in the girl’s dorm, everyone’s room has a little paper square with their name on it on the door, and there it was. In smeary comic sans on door 1C: Ranma Saotome.

Fuck.

Why did I think I could ever just go somewhere and be Akane Tendo?

All I wanted was a school no one from my high school was going to. Somewhere really liberal and maybe on the small side. Somewhere where no one would know me as the guy who’s now a girl who got engaged and then threw down with his/her fiancé in the fucking parking lot.

It’s almost funny. I should have expected this out of my bad sitcom of a life. I should have realized that Ranma’s complete lack of drive, combined with his inability to let down his father, and my father’s apparent desire to ruin my life by associating me with them, would cause this to happen.

Of course he would be enrolled here.

Of course.

Why do I ever hope things will change?

No, no, no pity party. I can change this. I can set Ranma straight. I could get him expelled if I wanted. Fuck him! I am not the one who doesn’t belong here, I shouldn’t be the one to leave.

                                  Final Orientation Assignment  

Please write a narrative essay describing a life changing event. The event chosen may be big or small, but the essay must fully describe an experience that changed the way you view the world, how you choose to live your life, etc. The experience may be as personal in nature as you like. You will not have to read in front of your group, though you will be invited to.  

Requirements:1,000-2,500 words in length.

Must be narrative in structure. Remember, scene not summary!

Must be an event that affected you. You may not write about another’s experience.

NOTE: Due to issues in previous years, please do not write about losing your virginity, or other sexual experiences. Coming out has been a common topic among these essays, but we ask that you refrain from explicitly sexual material.  

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Ukyo Kuonji                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Orientation Group 1                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         August 18th

                                           How I Learned the Truth

Your best friend should always tell you the truth. I told my best friend that, and he told me the truth: that he had always been a boy. A few years later he told me another truth: That he liked me. Then I came out, and I believed that the truth will set your free, and every other platitude, besides. Love is friendship that has caught fire. The world is your oyster. Tuna is good for your health.

Then my boyfriend told me another truth: He was engaged.

I, the person, who would believe anything, said, “Yeah, right.” I was stupid enough to wonder if what he had said was the start of a proposal.

He stared at me, toying with the scarf around his neck. We were standing at the front gate of our high school. He’d been waiting for me there, early for once, even though it was November and was already cold enough that most people were scurrying inside as fast as they could.

The front yard was fairly empty, so Ranma’s boots scuffling on the cement became the loudest sound.

“I’m engaged to this guy.” He said.

“You don’t even like guys.” I said, forgetting that the rest of the world doesn’t know my boyfriend. Doesn’t always think of him as a boy.

“My dad, he wants me to marry this guy. He’s got this idea, you know, cause I’m going to take over the dojo.” “There isn’t a dojo to take over.” I said, forgetting that Ranma would dive into a pit of hungry cats if his father asked him to. Would gladly take over an imaginary dojo.

“His family has one. A real dojo. It’s really nice. They’re that family dad and I have dinner with on Sundays. You met them once, remember? That’s why I was so weird that day. Our dads were already talking about this.” Under his breath he added, “Making shitty innuendos, even.”

I had already forgotten the faces of the huge family who all rushed past me on their way out of Ranma’s house, but I remembered vividly how good they had smelled, one of them holding a stack of tupperware, steam condensing on the lids. Ranma had been a little weird after that, but I thought it was because we had sex for the first time about a week ago and it was that sort of, pass-me-a-chip-will-you-person-I-lost-my-virginity-to? awkwardness. Not Oh-and-by-the-way-I’m-engaged-to-someone-else-because-I-constantly-crave-my-father’s-approval awkwardness.

I didn’t even know they made that kind.

“But you love me.” I said, and that was the truth. I took Ranma’s hand and pressed it to my chest, except I was a bit overzealous and slammed it into the soft spot between my collarbone and breasts. It bruised. “If your parents are going to suggest a child marriage, why-why don’t you and I get married?”

The second worst truth I learned that day was that I would have done that. I would have skipped school, stolen my father’s car, and found a court house. I would have married Ranma. I could see him and I bursting into my house, red cheeked from the wind and happiness, clutching the marriage license between us, smiling and laughing and invulnerable.

Ranma’s hand slid from mine. Our marriage license fluttered to the ground.

“One, we’re not eighteen. Two…” Ranma held my eyes for a moment, and it was the worst moment of my life because I saw the truth: All those emotions I thought were love, they could be boxed up and pushed aside. Perhaps not without some angst, but it could be done. The truth was that love can not climb mountains. It can’t cure illness. It can’t even argue with your father.

Love is friendship that has caught fire, sure, but then it goes out and the friendship has all burned up. No love lasts. Not the love between a child and their parent, not the love between friends, not the love between lovers. Eventually all you have is a hope of love as you do everything in your power to hold on to the person who used to embody it.

The late bell rang and we both headed inside. We were walking next to each other, but not together. That was when I decided that if Ranma didn’t have to care about this, I didn’t have to either. I wasn’t going to become like him, chasing down love and trying to corner it in dark alleys. I boxed up all my feelings and tossed them down the back stairs. Along with all the shit he had ever given me or left at my house over the years. My dad watched from his chair in the living room as I found every single book, sock, and stupid trinket that I knew was his.

“I thought you two were going to prom together.” My dad said while I was rummaging under the couch. Before my mother left she told me all sorts of important things, like that I should go to therapy and that my parents lost their virginity to each other at prom. I have a feeling my father suspected that Ranma and I were going to keep up the tradition, sans ditching our real dates by the punch bowl.

“Prom’s not till next year.” I emerged from under the couch covered in dust bunnies.

“Still. I thought you two had plans.”

“We do.” They just aren’t the same ones.

My father leaned forward in his chair and put his hands on his knees. “Ukyo, I just want to know what Ranma did to upset you, and if it warrants me going down there with a gun.”

“You don’t have a gun, dad.” I kicked up the rug to see if anything had been swept under it.  “And even if you did, you wouldn’t threaten a kid with it.”

“I don’t think you’re kids anymore. You can certainly hurt each other like adults.”

“He didn’t hurt me. He just doesn’t love me anymore.” Of course that was the fact that made my gut burn like there was a hot knife in it, but it was a fact. Ranma hadn’t hurt me. He told me the truth.

Genma’s phone——-> Ranma’s phone

Ranma?

Ranma?

Did you go to get the food? I want two breasts and coleslaw.

Ranma?

Ranma?

Either you’re dead in a ditch or you’re going to be.

                                                                                               August 20th              .                                                                                           Orientation group 4     .                                                                                            Ryoga Hibiki

                                 An Experience That Changed My Life.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

I’m in love.

Okay, okay, wait, here’s the punchline: She’s not my girlfriend. Or a friend. Or even my mom.

I just found out that I’ve never been in love before, not with any of those people. I fell in love two nights ago, when I woke up to someone screaming my roommate’s name.

It took me a second to wake up all the way, and for my brain to turn the sounds I was hearing into words, but then it was clear as day.

“Ranma Saotome! Ranma Saotome, I know you’re in there!”

I cranked the window open even further and stuck my head out to scream back, but then I saw her and I just…

She’s so beautiful. She was on the ledge where the hill behind my dorm starts. She stood straight, her fists clenched, shaking with anger. Her hair was cut sharp and short, and her eyes were huge in the strange light. Half blue moonlight, half disturbingly orange street lamp. The glow was unearthly. She was awesome—The old meaning of the word, beautiful and terrible and probably not to be touched, but magnetic all the same.

She paused for a second, then screamed

“RANMA SAOTOME!”

with her whole heart, and all her breath besides.

“He’s not here!” I yelled back.

“Shut up!” She took another breath, ready to scream all night for retribution, so I continued,

“I’m serious, he had a tournament. He won’t be here till orientation ends. He sent me an email about it. I’m his roommate.” It was probably a little garbled, because I don’t have the lung capacity that Akane does, but she understood me. She was quiet for a moment.

“Come in!” I yelled, “We can talk about it.”

“Shut up!” Someone screamed from a different floor.

“Okay!” She said, and she took off running. She was barefoot under her skirt and her legs were so long when she ran they shortened the ground beneath her.

I was watching her run when I remembered that I was in my boxers. I jumped back from the window, put on a light, turned on some pants, and hoped my room didn’t already reek of b.o.

Then she was in my room, and she was just as ethereal under the fluorescents as she had been outside. Her eyes slid from the bare mattress on one side of the room to my half. Not that there was much difference. White sheets, my yellow flannel pillow case that I’ve had since I was  ten, half of my key chain collection hanging over my desk and the tiny plastic replicas of the crown jewels. There were also a few postcards and the rest of my keychain collection piled on top of my desk, waiting to be hung up properly.

“I’m Ryoga Hibki,” I said, extending my hand to shake.

“Akane Tendo.” She said, and I found out that her hands had thick calluses on them. It was surprising when I had expected soft skin, but given the smoothness when she ran maybe I shouldn’t have.

“What do you need with Ranma?” I asked. I managed to lean casually against my desk and not slip and crack my head on a varnished corner and kill myself.

“He…” She paused, choosing her words carefully. “He and I have some history we need to sort out.”

My heart plummeted, then rose so quickly I felt dizzy. What did that mean? Was it good? For me? All I knew was that I had to say something similar if she asked about Akari. Lets say she somehow intuited that I currently had a girlfriend. Let’s say. But I won’t very very soon.

“So he put a tournament over orientation and got away with it.” She muttered. “Of course.”

“Well, it’s not like it takes much orienting.” I said, “Y’know, the dorms are here, the classrooms are over there, and the vending machine is down the hall. I figured it all out on my first day.” I puffed my chest up like that was an accomplishment, and she laughed, which actually was one.

“I know. All he’s really missing out on is having to write this dumb essay thing.” (I’m sorry if that offends you, but you said we should all be as honest as possible in these essays. Actually, if that’s true, I wonder if you’re going to have a stack of essays about how stupid these essays are. Not that I think they’re stupid, but that’s just the sort of smart-ass thing a bunch of college freshman would try to get away with).

Anyway, I’ll have to skim a bit, because she said some really personal things about her, and this guy, and the not-relationship they have, even though their parents seem to be bent on getting them together, and you said we weren’t supposed to write about someone else’s experience, so I’ll let Akane write about that in her essay if she wants.

But, even if I can’t tell you exactly what she said, I think I can tell you how she said it. How she enunciates the important words very clearly, how she wiggles her hips a little bit when she’s excited, and how we talked and talked and talked for so long I almost didn’t have the time to sit down and write an entirely new essay. Not that the original one was any good(it was about coming here, and how I’m really excited to be in one place for a whole four years, but that is an experience I hope to have, not one I already did, so I knew it was bullshit from the start), and maybe this one isn’t much better. I mean, it’s just about me falling in love. I’m sure this whole thing has been done to death, but goddamn.

I never got it, you know, the endless poems, and songs, and books about love. I suppose that’s proof right there that I was never in love. I didn’t see it that way at the time. I thought, ‘Sure, love’s great, but does everyone really need to be going on about it all the time?’, but now that I’m in it, I mean sunk so deep I feel weightless, I’ve found out that love is more than worth going on and on about. I mean, I don’t know how I can keep myself from just getting up in the middle of class and saying, “Hey, this Sandra Cisneros poem is great and all, but who wants to talk about how perfect Akane’s laugh is? Like, is there a scientifically provable better sound out there? And, if so, is it even worth tracking down?”

All those cheesy things they say about love, they’re true. And when you feel them down to your bones you find that they fill you up until everything you know about love just comes pouring out.

Face book, Ranma Saotme, Latest post:

A picture of a slushie larger and more red than anything humans were ever meant to ingest in one sitting, jammed into a car cupholder.

The caption above reads: Road trip=cheat day, right? ;p

Ranma’s phone——> Genma’s phone

Just got to school. Figured I might

as well head out.

                                                                        Glad you were so excited to see            

                                                                        Akane. But how am I supposed

                                                                        to get my car back?

Seen ✓

                                                                        What the fuck does that mean?

                                                                        Ranma, I want my car back.

Ryoga’s phone——-> Ranma’s phone

I dunno when you’re done with

the dean or whatever

But some guys are having a

party in our dorm. You know

the basement room?

                                                                    No, but I’m ready to party

Excellent.

CRAZY DRUNK FRESHMAN CAN DANCE AND DUEL??!!

A video clearly taken on a smart phone and simply thrown onto youtube, given the huge black margins. The footage is grainy, but not badly lit.

It’s hard to tell if the room is a basement or a living room, given the concrete floors. It sure looks like a house party, though, young people milling around with red cups, someone laughing obnoxiously loud just off camera.

The music that was playing unobtrusively in the background suddenly blares into the foreground as the camera is trained on a desk covered in half eaten junk food.

“Oh shit!” Someone screams, “I know this one!”

Heads turn in the direction of the voice. The camera doesn’t.

A guy lands on the cluttered table. You don’t see him leap, just land. He’s debatably handsome, and clearly drunk, though he still manages to get down with considerable skill. A bit off balance, perhaps with more booty wiggles than a sober person would allow themselves, but the boy can dance.

People are starting to crowd around the makeshift stage, and the camera is hiked higher.

“Hey!” The guy yells, breaking out of his dancing reverie to single out someone not visible from this far back. “Come on, dance with me!” He slides out of view, but a second later he jumps back onto the table, carrying a girl princess-style. She’s wearing a conservatively cut red velvet dress, like she’s at her cousin’s Christmas recital or something, but she looks appropriately confused at this sudden turn of events.

The guy sets her down on the table and starts dancing around her. Not like a bird doing a mating dance, but more like she’s a pole. A pole he finds very attractive. Hoots and whistles emanate from the crowd. The camera is jostled, and for a second whoever is holding it turns and we can see someone with a long brown ponytail and a grin taking up their entire face.

“Send me a copy of this!” They yell. “That asshole’s my ex!”

“Oh, okay,” Says our cameraman. They focus on this person for another second as they laugh, before remembering what they were supposed to be doing and the camera swings back to the main attraction.

The girl on the table has gone bright red, and seems to be trying to distract herself from the fact that half of her class is watching a guy grind on her when she yells, “So what’s your name?”

He kisses her cheek and spins her around, before dropping to one knee, “Ranma Saotome!” He says, before taking her hand and kissing it, as though this is a proper introduction from another era.

“Kodachi!” Someone screams from the back of the room. This time when heads turn the camera follows. A man stands in the open door. He’s sober and wearing a nice button up, so he’s probably not a freshman. He marches toward the table, parting his underclassman like a green sea.

“Ranma Saotome!” He yells in Ranma’s face.

Ranma is still bent over Kodachi’s hand.

“That’s me!” He replies, with a shit eating grin.

The other man seethes for a moment. You can almost see steam rising off of him like a giant boar.

“Ranma Saotome, for besmirching my sisters honor, I, Tatewaki Kuno, shall duel you.”

“What, like, at dawn?”

Tatewaki reaches up and sweeps the girl, who, now that he mentions it, does share his dark, thick hair and elegant nose, down from the table. “At dawn it shall be. I look forward to seeing you on your knees.”

“I don’t swing that way, man.” Ranma says, smacking Tatewaki good naturedly on the back from his perch.

Tatewaki bristles. “You will be begging for mercy!” He goes back the way he came, stopping at the door to adjust his sister’s weight in his arms and announce, “You and I, at dawn, on the hill behind the science compound.”

“Can it be more like six am?” Someone in the crowd yells, and after a general murmur of agreement both men decide that six will be a better time.

“Six on the dot!” Tatewaki says, probably just so he has something to yell before sweeping out dramatically.

“See ya!” Ranma calls back with a cheery wave, ruining the effect.

The video cuts out.

A flimsy, spiral bound note book, with a little tulip on the front, and the words, “MY DIARY” in a faux-childish scrawl. It spends most nights under Kuno’s pillow. Not that he’s scared of his roommate-a brother in kendo-reading it, but he believes that if he sleeps with his transcribed thoughts near him someday his body and his mind and his heart may all line up and stop vexing him with different desires. It hasn’t worked yet, but it hasn’t messed his neck up either, so he keeps at it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Okay. Alright. I will remain calm. While this is not an auspicious start to this year, I am sure that all this can be cleared up before the end of the semester. Perhaps before September is out.

You recall, of course, how that vile creature, Ranma Saotome, assaulted my sister’s honor. So I challenged him to a duel in order to best defend it. A few students got into trouble for this sort of thing last year, but they were arguing over the Star Wars prequels, and I believe they had guns besides.

At any rate.

There we were, he and I, (and the expected crowd of onlookers) standing on the field that slopes down toward the science building, the mist rolling in, dawn greying the sky above us. It was quite a romantic setting, rather like the rolling moors of Scotland or Ireland—Wherever it is that they have rolling moors and mist in great abundance.

Nabiki Tendo was strutting around as though she had organized the event. Anything for money or attention, I suppose. That she never wishes to be an actress is a great blow to the industry (and likely robs many fine directors of one).

At any rate, there we were, my opponent and I, and he had come unarmed. Also, he was swaying rather strangely. There was no music, and he did not seem to have any headphones. It occurred to me that he may be suffering from over intoxication, but he had agreed to this duel, so it was entirely his problem if he was ill.

Still, I had not expected him to bring a weapon, so I tossed him my back up wood.

“My back up wood.” I explained as he stared quizzically at the sword he had just caught.

He turned his confused gaze to me. “As in, like, back up onto it?”

I wanted to spit at his crudity, but I am not an eye for an eye sort of man, so I managed to restrain myself.

“Draw your weapon!” I said.

He held his sword out as though he were far sighted and needed a better look at it.

“Alright!” Nabiki Tendo yelled. I shudder to recall how her voice rolled across the hill. She makes my skin crawl, and I’m sure she knows it. She winked at me. I wonder if she chalked my shivering up to the mist.

“Gentlemen, you will stand with your backs pressed against each other,” Saotome made a remark related to his earlier statement about my sword that does not bear repeating, “Walk five paces, turn, and draw.” She damned me with her smile once again. “Just to keep things equal. Alright, boys?”

It was not equal, I will say that right now. I knew that my opponent was not classically trained, but I had not expected him to throw his sword at me! I deflected it, of course, but then it was his whole body that was hurtling toward me. I was shocked that I was immediately on the defensive, but I did not intend to remain there. I not only dodged, but managed to spin him with a slight blow which knocked him much further off balance than it might a sober opponent.

He retaliated and almost wrenched the sword from my hands by bouncing off of it, but I got in an uppercut that must have bruised one of his thighs, and I would have done much worse… Oh, he should tremble at night at the thought of what I may have done to him!

But that was when I heard screaming, and the crowd watching us dispersed. It took me a moment to understand just what was happening, but then I caught sight of the back of Nabiki Tendo’s head, and, though I am not a sailor, I too understand what it means when rats flee a ship.

Now, I am a man of honor, but I am also a man who doesn’t want an expulsion on my record. I ran into the green house that adjoins the science building, wiggled through the doggy door that would get me into the science building proper, and hid in the room where they’ve been doing laser experiments. A perfectly honorable way to flee, I assure you.

At any rate, though I wish I had given Saotome an real injury to consider rather than merely the threat of one, I feel safe that my sister’s honor was as protected as it could be under the circumstances.

Kodachi’s Journal:

My darling.

Forgive me

The vile things done in the name of my honor,

I assure you my honor was not bruised, nor even beset.

The purity my brother imagines of me is not of my design.

Though,

I admit.

Never before your hands

and thighs

and rock hard ass

has another man’s touched me as yours did.

I know you will understand when I explain it to you.

I hear you did admirably in my name

Perhaps you have grasped my feelings already

We share a link unbound by the laws of time and space.

In fact, as I fell asleep last night,

I could hear your name in my chest rather than a beat.

Ran-ma

Ran-ma

Ran-ma

Now my life begins.

[themysteriousballetanon]

*sees an ask meme and creeps into ur inbox* i think you know what imma say :3c

Curses!

This is gonna be hella long so I’ll stick it under the cut, ‘K?

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

oh, that IS a tricky one! I guess something I’, confused about is what to make next? Like, craft wise. 

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

most mornings, in the group chat...But I usually say ‘Good Morning’ first, because I’m usually the first awake.

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

Honestly? Yeah, I think I would. Like, not in a bad way, but it’s not something I’m totally comfortable with.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

Depends on what I’m trusting them with, I guess...Although I have been told I’m too naive and trusting...

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

Watching XXXHolic.

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

I don’t drink? But if I Was drinking probably Katie or Dan.

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

Break up with them. That’s it. No second chances. 

8: Are you close with your dad?

Yeah, pretty close.

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

Sorry, I haven’t kissed anyone in years...

10: What are you listening to?

Falling In Love -Us the Duo

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Water, obviously. 

12: Do you like hickeys?

I guess? I’m not against them?

13: What time do you go to bed?

Around 12am or 1am

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

Not anymore....

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

not at all. I am such a shitty texter. I struggle to text and walk homie.

16: Do you always answer your texts?

Depends on who you are. If I know you’re gonna call me if I send you a text there is a very good chance I will avoid texting back.

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

Not at all. I don’t think I could every hate somebody I love, or loved.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

literally right now.

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

Most of my friends make me happy when I see them, because I don’t get to see them very often

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I don’t remember. 

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

Nope

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

not really.

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

I...guess so? 

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

no. I have no interest in every speaking to those people again. Ever.

25: In the past week, have you cried?

Nope.

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

Dark Gray.

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

No. Although I wouldn’t mind if they did.

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

How would I know? They’re ignoring me?

29: Do you have a best friend?

Aye.

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

Not really, she can kiss whoever she likes.

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

I just called @pocketseatincheesecake to help her find her phone.

32: Are you mad at anyone?

Not really. I am in a constant state of ‘fuck you’ to a few select people though.

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

No.

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

19, I think.

35: How many more days until your birthday?

Oh god, so many. 

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

I’m in summer right now, with exactly 0 plans. 

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

Yeah! 

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

Nope.

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Yes. 

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

No

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

Yes, if the age gap is huge.

42: Are you available?

romantically? No. For a chat when you need it? Always.

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

One.

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

maybe a tongue bar? 

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

Yeah!

46: Do you regret anything?

Oh homie. So much. 

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

That I am so annoyed at myself for reblogging such a long list....

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

I’ve lost plenty of them. Moving around a lot as a kid will do that.

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

I don’t think so.

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

Because I already have her?

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

Yeah.

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Every now and again.

53: What was the last thing you ate?

A kit-kat bar...I should probably eat real food soon...

54: Did you get any compliments today?

Nope.

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

No idea. I would like to visit Rockhampton though, see all my friends again.

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

Sure. Most of my stuff is made in china after all

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

more girls than boys. But pretty close though.

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

Everywhere man. I been lots of places. 

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

Define a long drive? longer than 5 hours? It was a few years ago.

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

No.

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

No. Also, thats such an asshole thing to do, why would you do that??

62: Who do you text the most?

Group Chat. (The Nothing Better to do Club)

63: What was the last movie you saw?

‘Why Him?” a few hours ago.

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

Nothing that I know of. If she thinks that’s where she will be happy I think she should go. 

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

Zero.

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

Yes.

67: Do you curse around your parents?

Not if I can help it.

68: Are you happy with where you live?

yeah, I’m actually a lot happier where I am now in comparison to where I was.

69: Picture of yourself?

Enjoy the shitty snapchat filter and my busted ass phone.

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

I think that if you’re going to commit to someone that what should happen. 

71: Have you ever been dumped?

No.

72: What do you most like about making out?

I’ve never made out with anyone before.

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Obviously not.

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

The other person. I’m a coward at that sort of stuff.

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

It’s different for guys and girls. For guys I like height. For girls I like legs.

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

Group Chat

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

Never had sex before.

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

Refer to the question above. 

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

Shitty pickup lines. 

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

Sure. If I love them I totally would. 

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

She has! And now she’s my girlfriend, so I guess it worked.

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Only my closest friends. 

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

Sweetie? Like, my last partner? Not at all. We dated a week and then I ended it because he was going way too fast. 

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

Year 12 Formal.

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

I’m doing it right now. 

86: How can I win your heart?

Shitty jokes my friend. 

87: What is your astrological sign?

Leo

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Sleeping, I think.

89: Do you cook?

I’m no chef, but I can cook enough to sustain myself.

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

No.

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

I’m not single. 

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

As I have virtually no dating experience I don’t think I can answer this one.

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

Nice eyes, Nice leggies and taller than me.

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

money, clothes that suit me, a flat tummy, and motivation to write properly. 

95: Are you a player?

I play videogames? 

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

No.

97: Are you a tease?

I don’t think so?

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

Not as of yet

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

I don’t know. I guess I’ll know it when I feel it, huh?

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

hey, keep this a secret but I’d totally date @space-pidge. She’s so cute. 

101: Hugs or Kisses?

Can I pick head-pats instead? No? Then hugs.

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

yes. 100% yes. I am the worlds #1 coward.

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

If they’re a jerk or not/

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Um, I guess depends on the context? Like, my friend calls me babe but he uses it like a nickname so I guess it’s kinda cute? maybe??

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

Absolutely not. I refuse to be a part of this sort of thin/

106: Do you flirt a lot?

I dont think so..(?)

107: Your last kiss?

Highschool. So 2015

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

no. 

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

no.

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

@freckled-dragons, heck she’s cute. Like daymn. 

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

Nope. 

112: Does someone like you currently?

I think I’ve made it clear who I like.

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

Bruh.

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

I’ve never really had either so I can’t say.

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

Nope.

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

I’m not sure. Like, I know I’m happy to be single, and I haven’t really been in a relationship long enough to know. So I dunno. 

[vitalmindandbody]

I Croak To Lady Gaga’s Concert And I Literally Feel Reborn( This Way)

Hey, person! Kelli here. How’s everyone doing today? Good? Just fine? Great? Well, speedy interrogate for you: Did you know that if you go to a Lady Gaga concert, your entire life exactly fades away and you become good-for-nothing because Gaga is everything? Haha, yeah. That happened to me Monday night when I went to Lady Gaga’s World Tour. “Shook” is too simple-minded a word to describe the experience. “Spiritual” is closer, but the only word I can come up with that accurately describes how I seemed during and after that concert is “I am nothing; Gaga is my religion.”

I was invited to the show as part of Verizon’s new partnership with the World Tour, and they sure know how to treat a female( Gaga ). A group of us were taken to Citi Field in NYC on a fancy-ass bus, which is something we then filled up with other Verizon consumers/ clients at a large tent/ makeshift stage set up in the Citi Field parking lots. Basically , what happened all night was Verizon gave us the full VIP treatment as part of a publicity for their brand-new reinforces method: Verizon Up.

How the honors program labours is you download the My Verizon app, and as you spend money on acts like your monthly telephone statutes, you compile reward levels. One spot can get you flooring tushes to a Lady Gaga concert, but the tickets are first come, first provided, so the only catch is that you have to use the app consistently to get updates on the latest spates. But those deals can literally territory you free storey seats to Lady Gaga, so SET UP THEM ALERTS, BABY.

LITERALLY appreciating my goddess @ladygaga tonight TY #VZUp for drawing “ve been meaning to” my entirely senseless life I am not worthy #JoanneWorldTour pic.twitter.com/ hVKodBE3 2V

— Kelli Boyle (@ kellixboyle) August 28, 2017

There are a few each level of tickets through Verizon Up. When you accompanied Lady Gaga’s World Tour with the Dream ticket, you get flooring sits to the concert, access to their pre-show kiosk with food, refreshments, and a DJ, a backstage tour of the venue, and they are able to even acquire a meet and greet with Gaga herself. It’s a pretty cool thing.

But we’re here to talk about Gaga, so let’s f* cking do it. I’m one of the most important Beyonce stans in the universe( self-proclaimed ). I’ve exclusively been to a handful of concerts in my life, and majority of them ought to have hers. But I’ve too loved Lady Gaga ever since her “Bad Romance” daytimes and have always wanted to see her live. And people, Gaga is just as good as Beyonce in my thinker now. I know I am literally good-for-nothing and Gaga and Beyonce are the world so my opinion is that of the lowly boor I am, but that is the highest flattery I am capable of giving. There’s a rationale beings weren’t pissed when Beyonce stepped out of Coachella and Lady Gaga took her place. It’s because Lady Gaga is. An. Icon.

The #JoanneWorldTour dissolved me. I no longer dwell. @ladygaga pic.twitter.com/ dm3MwNk1nD

— Kelli Boyle (@ kellixboyle) August 29, 2017

I’m the first to admit I’m a total snot when it is necessary to musicians without even being one myself. I can carry a motif, but I play no instruments and couldn’t write a carol to save my damn life. But I did grow up doing musical theatre and dancing, so I set a lot of value( speak: literally all of the values) on stagecoach presence and product quality. I’m not going to see anyone live unless I know they put on a roughly perfect show that extends the whole nine yards for everything involved.

In my opinion, if you aren’t going to dance, what’s the phase? Why would I want to see someone was stand on stage for hours? If you’re not going to sing live, or if you don’t sound good talk live, are you even a vocalist? So to summarize that all up: I am a music snot and simply like luminaries even though I am a flare piling of dumpster garbage myself. Go it? Great. Moving on.

Lady Gaga is my everything now. Don’t get me wrong, she’s always been an incredible creator, but seeing her live was the closest stuff I’ve ever felt to finding Jesus. Everything she did was perfect. The singing, the dancing, the visuals, everything.

Lady Gaga saying “I’m a free bitch baby” is my religion #JoanneWorldTour pic.twitter.com/ sOG7QC 6Xek

— Kelli Boyle (@ kellixboyle) August 29, 2017

There was one point when she was singing “John Wayne” that she propped the side of her body on the side of her hunched-over dance collaborator and withstood the regulations of physics and gravity while having both hoofs in the air but just any substantiate underneath her. I still don’t understand how it happened, and I will likely waste the rest of my life trying to person it out. And don’t even get me on the vocals she was providing throughout the whole show. Just like Beyonce, she chimes better live. And the RIFFS, sugared mother of deity, my ears have never heard anything so pure.

And you know how she has a beautiful affection with Tony Bennett? Well, he was at the concert on Monday to corroborate her and sat, like, six sits away from me in the Verizon Up slouse. He is a treasured angel whom we must protect at all costs. Gaga dedicated “Come To Mama” to him, and you can bet your sweet ass I invested the entire hymn staring at Bennett like the move I am so I could watch the affectionate pride on his appearance. Back in 2011, before their Grammy-winning album was even realized, Gaga sang “The Lady Is A Tramp” with Bennett on his album,. When provide comments on the experience, Bennett — one of the most famous vocalists of all time — said about Gaga, “I never met a more talented person in “peoples lives” … I remember she’s going to become as big as Elvis Presley.”

Honestly, where is the lie? Starting to a Lady Gaga show isn’t only your typical concert. It’s a showcase of one of the most talented artists our generation is to be able to are presented in the primary of her career. We may be the ones paying for a ticket, but once the prove starts, it seems more like you’re her what she’s owed rather than her add you an aesthetic busines. Imagine her stellar Super Bowl accomplishment, but two hours long and with much more unforgettable minutes. She doesn’t begin the show by propelling from the stadium ceiling; she literally exactly step on theatre slowly and starts singing, and it’s electrifying. She knows she doesn’t necessity death-defying routines to amaze her concert-goers — all she requires is a stagecoach and a mic.

There’s a certain kind of stage presence hotshots like Beyonce and Lady Gaga possess that oblige fans go insane the moment they step on theatre. It’s the elusive “it” quality everyone talks about but can never seem to really define, and that’s because “it” is beyond definition. It’s simply a commonwealth of being that exclusively people who were meant to perform on stage are born with. It’s not learned, preferably it exists within a musician and is finely aria over time. And witnessing that quality live acquires you feel like the rest of the world doesn’t prevail outside of this act. You’re seduced in, you’re accessed, and then you leave a little different than you were when you came in. It’s like a shot of vitality immediately into your bloodstream, and not many artists can make a person feel this way.

It’s why we residence such a high value on musicians. Their aptitude makes us feel like the world is one monstrous pool of possibility that we would be luck to only dip our toes into, let alone dive in headfirst. If you’re find specially low-pitched given the government of the world, going to see Lady Gaga’s World Tour. It will pump the much-needed life back into you, and you’ll leave experiencing like you simply witnessed a piece of record you’ll to tell your grandchildren years from now.

In her chant “Angel Down, ” Gaga sings,

In a macrocosm where it seems like every news story is a bad one and the future seems dismal, Lady Gaga reminds you that just because we’re young, doesn’t mean we’re incorrect, misguided, or naive in our convictions. Her discography historically celebrates everything millennials appraise: equality, truth, following, passion, and being unapologetically, authentically you. The World Tour couldn’t be more perfectly epoch, as its message serves as a reminder of the things millennials importance most and emboldens “youve got to” never forget the importance of those qualities.

“Let’s do this one for Texas since I acquire their hat.” Lady Gaga dedicating “Million Reasons” to Houston #JoanneWorldTour pic.twitter.com/ R4uPEgjgxH

— Kelli Boyle (@ kellixboyle) August 29, 2017

So if you’re feeling specially useless in the face of all of the bullsh* t going on in the world, disappear construe Lady Gaga live. It’s the fix you need.

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