#and you are so right about that catholic guilt omg
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would you ever consider writing for kurt (doesnât matter if itâs movie!verse or comics/tv!verse) be honest
he is In My Brain đł
haley!! hello sweet friend đ I love movie!verse Kurt, he is one of the reasons X2 is such a fave. I am absolutely on the nightcrawler train with you - I am just a little unsure about capturing his voice!
BUT I am planning on watching X-Men 97, hopefully Iâll have a better handle after that! It would be so fun, for sure! đ
#the soul is incredibly willing but the pen is afraid of butchering it#if that makes sense đ#and you are so right about that catholic guilt omg#maybe I just need to dive into ao3 for a bit#keravnos-kori#eupheme answers
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woahh okay first time i attempted to send this ask my tumblr glitched and deleted it. idk if it sent but ignore it if so i wanted to reword it anyway. (tw for sa discussions and sexual abuse/trauma)
either way ive been thinking a lot about the post you wrote about armandâs (or amadeoâs) hypersexuality in venice and i saw a very similar post on twitter, essentially saying armand was so confused and horny in venice and ended up going to bianca for solice (then feeling incredibly guilty about it) and then later harlech as he weaponised his sexuality as a form of revenge on marius âignoringâ him (eventually tragically leading to his death)
it just puts such a tragic image into my head of amadeo in biancaâs bedchamber, crying and crying after having sex with her because he doesnât understand why he feels the way he does, why he desires sex so much after all heâs been through, and not realising it is a trauma response, a last ditch effort to keep himself alive by acclimatising to his environment of sexual abuse, and then it later killing him anyway.
Armand is so Sad. im so sad.
any other thoughts from you?
doooonttt worry lol ur previous ask didnât send haha (Iâm sorry stinky tumblr deleted it tho damn) but I LOVE this ask so thank u sm for resending it!!
omgg this makes me so sad holy shit đ I never made the connection that Amadeoâs hyper sexuality reaction to sa trauma led to his death but ugh, omg, ur so right thatâs so tragic. Itâs also specifically Marius abusing him that leads him to his death, bcus Armand feeling the massive loss of agency and control over his life and sexuality cuz of Marius causes him to get with harlech (someone he knows is dangerous) bcus he wants to make Marius angry and to distance himself from his perceived control by self destructing. Marius starts having Armand go to brothels against his will, Marius resents Armand for doing the thing he told him to and starts âignoring himâ, boom harlech boom death
the Bianca thing is so interesting, especially Armandâs guilt and perceived lack of control of his actions. Itâs like, he is realizing that for reasons he canât understand he isnât able to control his sexual impulses and he is consumed by them in a way that dictates his behavior, which is scary as shit especially for someone who has been taught to be frightened of sexuality for his entire life. Armand seems to perceive himself being hyper sexual as akin to being like his abusers, where he seems to think that since he canât control his sexual urges and makes poor decisions bcus of horniness hes akin to a rapist which đ°đ that type of guilt is rlly common for sa victims who experience complicated reactions to trauma unfortunately. But ugh.
slight change of topic, but I always think about how hard and strange it mustâve been for Amadeo to go from 24/7 sex and sexual urges to sexless being thrown into catholic cult where u canât bathe urself let alone fuck. Like thatâs the kind of whiplash between two harmful extremes that makes someone into a person like Armand, lmao
#armand#tvc#the vampire chronicles#iwtv#vampire chronicles#interview with the vampire#the vampire armand
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ahhhh omg you ship mary x pandora too !!!1 omggg please share all your thoughts about it please !!
AHH YES LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SHIPS EVER
idk idk idk theyre so yum.
pandora is a white pureblood and the pinnacle of power and mary is a black muggleborn and she's had to prove herself to the world she's criticized for whatever she does she's constantly told she's 'too much' even if she does nothing and she envies pandora who is so sure and relaxed and confident but she hates her god she hates her hates her so much because pandora exists and she's respected she never had to fight for it she was born into it
pandora who was second guessed and forgotten her whole life, she was autistic and considered stupid, they said she couldn't walk right or talk right, that she'd never amount to anything and she looked up to everyone everyone who was doubted too and who better than mary fucking macdonald? she loved her, she was the height of cool, the height of kindness, of intelligence of beauty - she hyperfixated on every little detail, if she wore four rings or five, if she wore mascara or not, sitting two tables away at the opposite of the great hall.
and hehe religious guilt is always fun. ive mentioned this before, i think mary was in church every sunday since birth (i have reasons . haha) and pandora was raised catholic
when the war starts, pandora has the luxury to be naive and mary is kept ignorant and it hurts it hurts it hurts because she's assaulted by pandora's friends and pandora doesn't even know and mary hates how dorcas acts as if pandora can't know, she hates how everyone is 'protecting' her.
pandora learns about the war and she's going drifting apart from her brother and her friends and she still has dorcas, but dorcas has a girlfriend and she's busy, and she doesn't know where to go and she goes to mary mary mary
and mary feels she feels so so so strongly she always has and she feels hatred then she feels pity and then it's love love love she wears a moth necklace for pandora and learns how to deal with her illnesses and pandora sculpts mary's face so everyone can know who she's in love with and they learn to negotiate and they fight every night but they make up by noon and then and then and then
and then pandora falls in love with xenophilius
pandora leaves, mary wakes up to a goodbye note,
and that's the end of that.
#random#i love them#so much#ugh#pandamary#mauraders#dead gay wizards from the 70s#mauraders fan#sirius black#the marauders#marauders era#marauders#sirius orion black#the marauders era#hp marauders#pandora lovegood#pandora rosier#mary macdonald#mary and pandora#pandora and mary#pandora lovegood and mary macdonald#pandora rosier and mary macdonald#mary macdonald and pandora rosier#mary macdonald and pandora lovegood#mary x pandora#pandora x mary#mary macdonald x pandora lovegood#mary macdonald x pandora rosier#pandamare#marewing
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Reading SVSSS: Bonus- Chapter 24
For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!
If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.
Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.
This was a two part-two tea read LOL. I started this chapter right before my union meeting with a vanilla chai tea and now i'm ending it after the meeting with a chamomile lavender tea.
I finally feel like i'm coming out of my sick haze and hoping these flowers will knock me out tonight.
Let's get into the saddest fucking chapter I have read in a while- Bonus 24:
Shen Jiu breaks my heart. I hate it so much that all of the kids that were trafficked were given numbers for names. Like these kids probably had actual names but no one knows them. p81
I totally forgot until now that Yue Qingyuan was also one of the kids. I can already tell this chapter is going to ruin me. My heart hurts at the roles they had to play to survive. Yue Qi being the protector, Shen Jiu making money. pp82-83
omg. Shiwa was a snot nose, but the child did not deserve that at all (his face sliced). Who the fuck is this "youthful master" p85
fuck it's Qiu Jianluo.
And he would deserve it! I too would "swear to fuck the qiu family graves a hundred and eighteen times" p86 Qiu Jianluo is vile.
I think it's actually worse that he's only 4 years older than shen jiu. They're both children at this point but one is sadistic as fuck. This guy is so horrible. p88
uuugh. Okay. Going back a page, I just clocked something that has me feeling sad things. The fact that the only things Shen Jiu can write are "seven" and "nine" (his and Yue Qi's names :(((((( )and only because he saw someone (presumably his traffickers) write them. p87 I cannot with this boys life. It is truly so awful.
omg. and the rationale Qiu Jianluo has for making shen jiu marry his sister "so she wouldn't need to leave" p88 and the way he does it by threatening shen jiu's life pretty much constantly
someone, many chapters back, said I would be upset with the extras involving Shen jiu and they are not wrong. This is deeply awful.
I also dislike Wu Yanzi; this guy is terrible too. Shen Jiu really is a bad luck and terrible people magnet. pp92-93
Bless. As awful and shameful as stabbing someone in the back is, good on shen jiu for saving Yue Qi and ending this fight! p93
Oh gosh. Shen jiu really needs some therapy. this guy holds so much darkness and resentment. Like shit; the hatred he has for Liu Qingge literally just for existing and having a good life. p95
So. What I don't understand is how no one thought it was odd that one day SQQ wakes up and is totally different. This man went from Brothel Rewards Card Holder to "I have never so much as looked at a woman in my life" like HOW did not one know. p97
Yue Qingyuan to Shen Qingqiu about Liu Qingge "If you extend him a single share of kindness, he'll return it two-fold" p98 and he truly did. transmigrated shen yuan saved this mans life one time and the bro sold him his soul twice over.
oh poor trauma baby. The reason why he (SQQ) doesn't sleep in the dorms/disciples quarters hurt. p100
The guilt that Yue Qingyuan carries is heavier than the Catholic Church. My god. I totally get why this guy is always doing the most for SQQ. pp102-203
Oh no. Yue Qingyuan was defo the person who was fighting for their life in the cave while qi deviating attempting to leave it. This one hurts :((( Shen Qingqiu doesn't even know and he is not wrong p108 I just want to hug Yue Qingyuan.
ah, okay. This chapter is the original Shen Jiu's timeline not the prequel to Shen yuan version. I got so confused when part 6 started talking about the water prison and Shen Qingqiu killing Liu Qingge. pp109-110
oof. It truly sucks when a character has had a rough go and is struggling but refuses to allow themselves to be redeemed in any way. Shen Jiu feels like that for me. It's so upsetting. pp112-113
This is so tragic. Literally two seconds after I read the part where Shen Jiu tells Yue Qingyuan to get lost and had that thought about him refusing to be redeemed this part happens, "I thought you weren't coming" p114 my HEART at Shen Jiu thinking Yue Qi would never come back but he did :( and Yue Qingyuan still feeling the guilt and burden of not doing it when they were young.
Well that was fucking awful
This chapter ruined my life. No thoughts, only sadness.
#bloopitynoot reads svsss#svsss spoilers#mxtx svsss#svsss#scum villans self saving system#scum villain#shen jiu was robbed#why does this chapter hurt so much#I really hope the next chapter isnt this bad
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Iâve finally watched the new episode!!!
Iâm going to talk about it, but in case someone hasnât filtered out spoilers, hereâs a cut.
Tommy, my sweet darling, you look so soft and gentle, especially during that coffee scene. Youâre so gentle with Buck and youâre also so gentle with yourself. Youâre precious.
Buck, sweetheart, you are certainly an ally. Your lips and Tommyâs lips sealed an alliance, that is correct. Youâre so cute, omg, youâre down bad for this boy. Invite him to your sisterâs wedding on the third date? Why not!
I think the show did a great job in handling Buck coming to terms with himself. I think he hadnât necessarily paused to think it over before his talk with Maddie and thatâs why he was so anxious on the date.
Also, these are two grown ass men. I donât think theyâre moving at the wrong pace or that Buck is silly for inviting Tommy to his sisterâs wedding. Itâs a little odd, but as he said, Tommy already knows half the people there. Theyâll figure out what works right for them.
I feel like people make more of the age difference than there actually is. We donât have a confirmed age for Tommy, but letâs say heâs about the same age as Lou himself (39/40). Buck is about 31. An 8-9 year age difference really isnât bad. It is a difference for sure, but itâs nothing drastic. Tommy isnât robbing the cradle.
What Iâm wondering about is the wedding and their appearance. Has Buck come out to everyone? Is he doing a surprise date? Do his parents know?? I donât want his coming out to take over the wedding, but Iâm hoping we get some scenes in the next episode, some flashback, to show his coming out or the build up to Tommy as his wedding date.
Lou said in an interview that Tommyâs entrance to the wedding will be dramatic. Did Tommy go off to recover Chim from wherever Chim went?
Iâll briefly touch on the rest of the episode content. First up, Eddie and Marisol.
What the actual hell was happening there?
I wanna know who came up with the nun storyline. It was hysterical! But Iâm wondering where the writers are going with this. They moved her in and then out in the same episode. The only thing that I see accomplished was showing that Eddie was Catholic and has Catholic guilt. This could be useful later on, but it was odd.
Please, 9-1-1, get rid of Marisol. Itâs not even the character thatâs an issue, itâs the actress.
And finally, Hen and Karen!
I love any storyline we get with them. These are my moms now, ok? Iâm sad they didnât get a baby, but I think theyâll have quite a journey ahead with Mara, whoâs clearly traumatized. And look at Denny! Heâs grown up so much. I love their little family and I hope we get some more centric storylines with them. I feel like they get left behind sometimes.
Ok! Those are my thoughts! Lemme know what yâall think.
#9-1-1#911 abc#911 season 7#911 show#tommy kinard#bucktommy#evan buckley#lou ferrigno jr#oliver stark#eddie diaz#anti marisol#911 marisol#911 spoilers#henrietta wilson#karen wilson
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Hey op just curious what makes you hate the new Hellsing fanbase. As a fellow Hellsing fan I was wondering if Iâve completely missed something strange going on lately.
The new Hellsing fandom honestly irks me because of the surface level probing of the source material*. Yes, to most it's a hard core, dark, violent, mad and bad-ass anime but, like I've said so often, for so long on this dumb blog, it has the BEST female characters I've ever seen, recently rivaled by Arcane. Incredible depiction of platonic relationships and morally grey characters. To me, it's primarily a found family story, among other things.
The side characters are incredible, Yumi and Heinkel are the most underrated of the show. I mean come on priest and nun lesbians (lesbian used liberally). Heinkel is confirmed by the author to be an INTERSEX HUMAN. Alucard shapeshifts into a female (which, looking at the Devilman fandom, everyone took for an obvious trans metaphor, why not here?). The source material is as homoerotic as it can get between a lot of the characters (the tension between Sir Integra and Seras during the blood scene). Let's not forget Rip van Winkle, Pip, Walter, and Alexander. Alucard's teasing, Seras' naivety and subsequent maturity, Pip's endurance and playful wittiness. These characters and relationships are stuck in my head forever, they're all incredibly unique, fleshed out and worth remembering, no matter how short a time they spent on screen. And the character designs? As a long-time vampyr and catholic guilt fan, can I just say. Rawr. This show shaped how I dress like irl and my own shitty characters, as well.
Sir Integra is my favorite character of the show and one of all time. Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. Like, an actually good depiction of a no-nonsense, androgynous as hell, unabashedly commanding (dare I say) woman? And it's played completely straight? No "Whaaa that's a woman?" every 2 seconds or "heh, you will listen to me despite my womanhood" from her. Powerful in her own right despite being the few "magic"-less humans of the series. 0 sexualized Ultimate scenes (sorry Seras and the "hot down there" comment doesn't count, that was banter). She was fucking knighted by the Queen of England before she was even 25, hence Sir Integra. Canonically bi-racial and South-Asian. I'm not even going to go into her character's willpower and values but. Hellloooo???Â
Not to mention, something noteworthy about the series, but Hellsing works because Hirano made time for silly moments. I mean, hell, one of the scenes I remember most vivdly was the gag of Heinkel lighting Sir Integra's cigar and being mega-pissed about it during the final battle, it's funny yet in character, despite many fans saying the humor throws you out of the "reality" of the show.
Oh no, but what do the new fandom gremlins talk about? "Alufart rails Y/A" "OMG VLADCARD'S BARA HAIRY TIDDIES I WANNA RUB MY FACE AGAINST THEM" (you know who you are) âI drew the most fucked up version of Alucard I could think of in my twisted mindâ
and my personal "favorite":
"omg đ„ș what if intewa and alucard kisswdd", it's almost as bad as Seras x Alucard.
Unfortunately, I am a part of the ship police, so I'm gonna say right now that these two are my most hated ships:
1) Sir Integra and Alucard's relationship goes beyond romance to me. Since none of the new fans know the lore, Sir Integra is and will die a virgin (canon), it's literally plot relevant because by having sex, if she gets bit she will become a zombie slave (obvious but apparently needed to be said) and, taking a note from the 2001 anime, gone is any chance to continue the Hellsing mission. If she was bitten, plot armor aside, she'd have to off herself instead of becoming a vampire. (and for you freaks out there/pos, dare I say⊠ace representation? you can argue about desire and subtext later)
2) Seras and Alucard's relationship was specifically noted by the author to be a father/daughter dynamic, which is kind of obvious in the show. Like I said, fundamentally a found family series. Yeah, you don't need to treat found family like family family but I gen can't stand this ship.
I know that people will ship characters who've never been in a room together before. I can't stop people from shipping them and these two ships have ALWAYS been popular in the fandom. I typically ignore this and, yes, "don't like, don't interact" is my main rule. However, new fans ONLY talk about this stuff. None of the rest of the show seems to matter, just Alucard's hairy mustached tig bitties and him fucking one of the two women in the main cast. Or someone's self insert.
((tangent but personally my favorite ships are Alexander x Alucard (obviously in an enemies to enemies way), Heinkel x Yumi, and a romance only Seras x s.Integra. Like, you want old women yuri??? There ya go! They were in a mansion for like 30 years (I forgot) together, probably going missions alone and sharing their grief over Alucard and their unique experience/history. Like I said, I can't help who people ship, I'm not trying to say the source material is in favor of my ships or "how dare people interpret these obviously gay characters as straight". like no, that's not why I'm upset and ik alucard and alexander weren't yaoi-ing it up but like. alucard and s.integra shippers dni /j))
Not to mention, I couldn't help but notice, despite this information being readily available to my middle school self, no one knows the fckn lore or background of this show?? I honest to god saw someone comment that Hellsing Ultimateâą was a bad âremakeâ because it diverged from the original anime.
Here's SOME fun facts:
-the 2001 version of the show has a different ending than the manga because it wasn't finished yet (duh). Hellsing Ultimate is "soooo short" because production took almost a decade and it was trying to be a faithful, well-animated (that takes time bruv) adaptation. Oh, and a bunch of directional changes that I won't get into.
-there are multiple OVAs following Walter's youth in WW2 (Hellsing: The Dawn). Young Walter's design honestly was one of my favorites from the series so. Walter enjoyers. Check it out.
-there is a bonus book explaining a lot about the characters and process of creating Hellsing written by Hirano himself. whenever I got a hold of it, though (8+ years ago) there was no English translation.
-Alucard didn't just transform into a girl that one time, he was in his girl form the entire time during WW2 (hence why when people mention his possible affair with the Queen it might've been a sapphic thing but I think that mostly stems from the abridged series. the queen thing not the girl thing)
-Hirano used to be a Hentai mangaka and actually designed many of Hellsing's characters in said hentai or in short stories (such as Crossfire, it's basically extra, non-canonical Hellsing content) beforehand. Which, this used to be the most popular "fun fact" but has been lost to the sands of time now, so prepare for a lot of people rediscovering this.
-personal lore is I almost named myself Rip van Winkle bc of this show (quirked up Portal, Grell Sutcliff, queer-coded, rifle-wielding shawty)
Anyway, to sum it up, I hate when people don't interpret characters in the same way I do. Yes, I am a bad âfandom elderâ, idgaf I am fundamentally a hater.
*I keep seeing this happen with old shows that resurface. Unlike newer or more popular shows where every scene gets scoured, characters who showed up for one scene get analyzed, and endless cafe AUs are made- older shows mostly get fan art of the main charas and the ships of the two hottest characters and that's it. Discussion of lore and themes are completely off the table. So I'm not surprised, just disappointed.
#long post#hellsing ultimate#hellsing#alucard#integra hellsing#seras victoria#et al#yeah i just get this way about media i've fundamentally tied to my person because I watched it as a kid and hyperfixated on it my bad#hellsing ova#lore dump#anyways rant over#sir integra#me#run on sentences aren't real#I heart hating#goddamn protestants#intersex#aromantic#gay people#queer coding#idk tags#did I mention it was a long rant post#oh and if I see âis Integra a womanâ one more time...#edit for typo#oh and#lesbian#found family#enjoyers watch this show except don't if youre gonna be annoying about it
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Ok, smol rant about the recent fandom drama for your inbox lol. You have done the same in mine, so now weâll be even fjfhfd.
I remember seeing a post about kids and parents where the OP wished that they could explain to the domineering parents that they werenât âmaking excusesâ for their actions, but giving reasons for them. Itâs a huge point of contention between parents and children. One I brutally relate to. As the children, we often want our motives to be understood, even if we did something that violated a moral boundary.
It makes the judgement feel less dehumanizing, because then the parent knows that we are just human too. We feel acknowledged as flawed people without being seen as purely bad.
This is what writers do for their morally corrupt characters too, right? The war criminals everyone fights over. I have seen some instances where the author did outright excuse the war criminalâs actions, but itâs far more common, especially in recent years, for writers to provide reasons for their villainâs actions.
Sometimes itâs a grand philosophy the villain has, sometimes itâs delusion, other times itâs simple lust for power, and other times itâs a sympathetic background. Sometimes itâs a mix of all of them. It can get messy, but recently the big debate in fandom is usually over evil characters having sympathetic motives or being victims of a cycle of abuse/violence.
*glares at Marika*
This is getting more and more heated in fandoms and now even the Soulsborne fandom, which is depressing. I mostly ignore it because Iâm tired of it. Pretty much all of my favorite characters these days are tragic villains because I just love that archetype. Iâm drawn to it and have been for as long as I can remember. But that means I see this argument surrounding all of these characters 24/7.
I am more sensitive to moralism, Iâll admit. I haaaate Puritan rhetoric in fandom, so I usually feel more frustration towards the âirredeemable pure evil character is so bad, WHY are you excusing abuse?â shit. But seeing this Hornsent stuff recently, Iâm also getting massively uncomfortable with the literal excusing of genocide in the story. Even if itâs fictional, that justâŠ.BRUH. Both sides make me a bit queasy.
And all along, I can only think: This fighting is so pointless because both sides are latching onto a very simple perception. They think the story Miyazaki wrote is meant to EXCUSE the actions of the cruel people in the story, but in truth, itâs giving REASONS for all sides. To make things more realistic and god forbid, EMOTIONAL!
Marikaâs story destroyed me, and now learning more details about the Hornsent, I feel bad for many of their people too!! The whole thing is a big tragedy, totally pointless. Something tells me that was the point because [gasp], Miyazaki tells that story over and over.
I remember seeing a random gamer comment on YouTube about Marikaâs village, and all it said was, âWell. Now we know why she did it.â
THATâS IT. THATâS WHAT MIYAZAKI WANTS US TO FEEL. Not âOmg she was totally in the right!!â
Miyazakiâs âcycle of violenceâ trope is NOT apologist preaching. Itâs not about excusing the war criminals. Itâs about showing how people fuck each other up for generations out of received and inflicted injustice and pain.
And some come out on top in the end, unleashing twice as much violence as the other group because of how much power they attain. (Marika).
I also wish fandom would be careful about comparing too much of this story to real life as well, because thatâs where the weaponization of certain events in history comes into play, and it just leads to moralists beating love-blinded simps over the head with âYouâre defending she-Hitler!â
Thatâs just a cheap-shot because this IS all still fiction at the end of the day, and nobody should be deep-throated with Catholic guilt for getting a bit defensive of an immoral character đ
Anyway, Iâm going off, but I will say this, it reminds me of the whole Shabriri thing. Of course the Frenzied Flame curse and ending is sympathetic in one way. Destroying a world that is SO ruined by suffering is an understandable craving if you reach the bottom of despair. This is almost the exact of motive of [GUNSHOTS] [SOUNDS OF BEING STRANGLED] and so, I love it even more of course. LET IT ALL BURN.
But Shabriri being a liar does get the point across!!
The FF doesnât fix anything in the end. Thatâs why I fought for the âShabriri is not rightâ take and marveled at how much of the fandom was swayed by his lie, but I also understood why too! Itâs a beautiful, perfect lie.
But no matter how tender, how exquisiteâŠyou know.
SoâŠ.I guess now the same thing repeats. People fall for Marikaâs side and see her cruelties as justice, while others go too far and paint her as a wholly dark force of evil that is being âexcusedâ by the story. But in truth, THE FRENZIED FLAME IS BOTH SOMETHING TO BE UNDERSTOOD AND FOUGHT AGAINST.
JUST LIKE MARIKAâS WRATH.
Melina was right all along.
Ok rant over. Thanks for all the based and nuanced takes recently.
PS: Lowkey, to this day I wonder, why did that mf George Lucas somehow deliver the story of Vaderâs fall in such a simple way that painting the very IDEA of giving into the âdark sideâ as a tragic decision all around. Giving into the FF is a tragic decision, Marika seeking revenge and going way too fucking far is a tragic decision. WHY DID LUCAS SOMEHOW UNDERSTAND THIS AND YET FANDOM IS STILL CONFUSED WHEN WE TRY TO EXPLAIN THAT CHOOSING TO PERPETUATE THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE IS PART OF THE TRAGEDY. MIYAZAKI IS PRACTICALLY SCREAMING IT AKSJDHDDJâ
Heyyyy Crow, I am so sorry for being a couple of weeks late to respond this ask ;-; I am scatterbrain about asks, you know :pensive:. ....and I also see that you did decide to waste it into my nothing-blog, instead of posting your beautiful, based thoughts in YOUR blog where more people can see them? You chicken dffdhs
Being the reclusive misanthropist (as far as fandoms go), I've been avoiding most of these problems! And my first exposure, through an EX mutual, happened to be the "woooow FromSLOP excused genocide by giving Marika a sad backstory, what were they thinking?!" side. The exposure only kept growing until I ripped the bandage, yet it did make me so angry that the first chapter in my large SOTE defence essay ( x ) was JUUUUST about it. đ
Marika was not "just" evil even in the base game either, giving off the impression of someone wanting to build a perfect world of light, life, safety and abundance even at the expense of oppressing "potential threat" species. She waged war on the Fire Giants who had 'evil god of fire', caused natural disasters and whose fire existed as anathema to the Erdtree and declared her victory the start of the "better age"! That already spoke of a lot of complexity, without forcing the audience to agree with her motivations and actions but instead understand what weight they held in the grand scheme of things!
What DLC did add was simply a lore on Marika's origins as a Goddess, and what made her vulnerable enough for the Two Fingers to seek her! Divinity is further stated to not be a great thing via Miquella's whole arc, but the wish to change the world to the better hits harder when you personally were a victim of its fundamental corruption! She did not instantly become a good person over DLC lore, nor she was just evil person and nothing else in the base game! War against Fire Giants (maybe Dragons?) was the means to topple the current powers and establish her reign, oppressing certain species was the mean to preserve it. She searched not solely to take revenge on the Hornsent, but to build a different world where what they did would not happen, ironically ending up causing more injustice ANYWAYS! Miquella fell into this trap. Heck, GIDEON fell into this trap!
On a more general note, detached from the specifics of this game: I do still find it more strange to be angry about villains being given sympathetic traits, as a concept. People who are just "born evil" are such a minority that they hardly can say anything about nature of men. In any case, 'explanation is not an excuse' works not only as a tool to still judge someone's sins, but ALSO to explain that writers making a character more elaborate is not a demand to like this character or excuse their actions! Everything has reason⊠This is why no one is entitled to declare they know what is good and bad for everyone. Not just people like Marika or Gwyn, but even us.
Granted, all the "they want us to like a she-Hitler now?!" sentiments arrived from the same people who also believe that Miquella's character was "assassinated" and use that absurd 'they'll never make me hate you miquella sweety' tag or whatwasit that has no reason to exist!! Character assassination. You know, that writing trick writers do to make you despise a character who has been established to be likeable before. I just can't forgive this "logic", of assuming that giving explanation for character's tyranny = wanting audience to see them as morally right, and assuming that making a character fall from grace = wanting audience to hate the character.
No, no, NO! Completely WRONG! What writers, GOOD writers, want audience with BOTH of these things is EXACTLY what you said: to understand the reasons of what happens and why! Miyazaki is a good writer, that wants audience to find their own answers, and always wanted! It is not being a love-blinded fan but a common knowledge in the fandom that Miyazaki admitted so himself. Zullie (Youtuber) highlighted this, writer of Paleblood Hunt highlighted this... Miyazaki's talent and genius did not magically evaporate just over the awful sin of not dropping any hints for Miquella x Radahn in the base game, and you, as a Fromsoft veteran, probably know it better than I do.
And, yeah, speaking of love-blinded, you know that only recently I've encountered the other side of the situation. Amongst all that vitriol over "writers wanting us to think this and that but we won't!", some people were angry at how fans were effected by Shaman Village's lore, and I saw why. Nobody should feel unsafe in the fandom just because they happen to refuse to hate The Bad Character TM when loud people decided that fandom should, and I did TELL Blender so!
That whereas we, small lore blogs, do not see the "danger" of highlighting character's sins or assuming them as accountable as possible, the "danger" of negative perception of the character exists, in the form of people who sees resulting hatred as moral act!Before SOTE dropped, I've noticed the problem with Mohg! While despairing over why his fans preferred a more charitable interpretation of him instead of "more interesting" sexual offender one, I kind of ENTPed the answer to my own question seeing them bullied for liking said Totally Canonically Sexual Offender. đ
I understand why certain people would get so defensive about how to interpret Marika that they'd jump at an objective well-researched post without even reading it (!!!) as some kind of a threat for their happy fandom experience. I insist that if you do enjoy your own vision more, nothing can threaten it, not even canon ffs, but that's not entirely true because we engage not in a vacuum but in a fandom.
Gehrman fans, for one, are more interested in protecting themselves from being blocked on the spot, vagueblogged about and shunned as "misogyny apologists" than in ensuring no one's vision can differ from their. I am a better person and fan than I was 2-3 years ago, but I remember the urge to tear every hater apart even if they did NOT insult or bully anyone. Because they could, and I remembered situations when they would. I also remember the first time I responded on Gehrman slander with cold head and politely. It was such a good memory. Marika did not create a presumably inaccurate life-size replica of her dead student. She started genocide. Thus, yes, I assume that vitriol from haters is even more severe. You mentioned people drawing parallels with real events and excusing them, and everyone here knows it does happen. I understand why.
....however, what did we JUST conclude about "understanding the reasons for someone's behaviour"? That it simply humanises them, not automatically excuses them!
You know I'll be proud of myself over this one for a week at least XD I might have created a sort of gravitational field in my blog, that did attract some people who really dislike Marika and dislike fans that "woobify" her (do kids still use this word?). It might be just something autistic, because in my vision, just because I call character fascist or otherwise point out something awful about them doesn't mean I hate the character or call for hate! Same applies to @val-of-the-north, of course! It is very difficult to communicate that I am not here to be a part of antagonism, and when I get 'reactionary' anons I'll focus on their comfort over comfort of hypothetical people that only might see my posts. This alone gets me involved by effect. I will be at least part of the problem whether I want it or not, so is everyone who posts any observations and opinions in the fandom at all. Unfortunately, the ONLY way to be 100% good fan is to not participate in the fandom beyond being a content machine.
It is very easy to get caught in a cycle of reactionary paranoia and "returning" aggression. But bad fandom experiences should not make anyone resort to attacking-on-sight even if this person wasn't hateful but just shared their observations. Just as much as how experience with bad writing excusing vile things should not make anyone resort to trashing on explanations (and "heretical" fans that acknowledge them for a good measure). Both sides have the understandable reasons for being cringe. Both sides ALSO deserve to be grabbed by the collars and get their heads hit against each other, like in a sort of an outdated anime gag. đ
Anyway, man, thank you for this rant. You've put everything so well, and in a very short form. I still think you are better at 'Fromsoft philosophy' than I, and you WILL accept my compliment!!! Honestly, the dreaded practice of "caring about discourse" is not all reductive and evil or whatever. Heck, you kinda prove that it can be as much an expression of passion as creativity!
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Alright!! Time for my 911 7x05 reactions!
Alright the hand guy
I knew about Buck getting choked but EDDIE owwww. Heâs so dramatic though lmao.
Awww baby clothes
Oh no. :(
Another girl? Sheâs nine. Ohhhh interesting.
I love Hen and Karen so much omg
Oh! The date!
That is a huge pitcher of beer lol.
Omg theyâre seeing a movie after?
Ohh Buckâs so nervous.
Did he just. Call himself. An ally
BUCK
He puts a rainbow on his Instagram.
âI guess itâs just me that makes you nervousâ shit Tommy that was good
Awww Buckâs smile
I know weâve been talking about Buckâs face when Eddie shows up BUT Tommyâs eyes go so wide omggggg
âAnd then weâre gonna go find some hot chicks.â BUCK.
Tommyâs face aaaah
:( Tommy
Hold on Eddie what do you mean Marisol agreed to move in with you??? We have seen literally nothing of this relationship and youâre already moving in together??
âI guess you can never have enough closet space.â HELP
âRight, Evan?â Oh Jesus
âYou too broâ BuckâŠ
This is so awkward. I know Buck is figuring himself out still but I feel bad for Tommy :(
âI think youâre adorable, but I donât think youâre readyâ is actually I really nice way of letting him down.
Denny giving Mara a teddy!! Thatâs so sweet.
Ohhh Buckâs talking to MaddieâŠ
âAre you dating a married woman?â
âCould be very much the pointâ I love Maddie.
HE CALLED HIMSELF AN ALLY AGAIN. Maddieâs face as well oh my god
Oh my god they actually went with a âyeah I check out guys but thatâs normalâ situation
âItâs the same Tommy??â Ahahaha
At least Marisol is keeping her place so we donât have another Taylor situation on our hands
Hmmm what is he gonna find in the boxes?
She was almost a nun? Interesting? I guess. Is that whatâs gonna make them break up?? What??
The teddy bear!
I really hope Mara is okay :(
âTo avoid not having sex.â Help.
Eddie has âa reservoir of Catholic guilt lying dormant.â Listen, is this about Marisol right now? Yes, as far as Eddie is aware. Could this also be. Hinting at somethingâŠâŠ
âLike sea monkeysâ???? Lmao
Eddie is. Pent up. Jesus Christ
âYou think I should go to confession?â âNo I think you should go to Cap.â these two dumbasses. Sound advice though, he should talk to Bobby.
Oh no! Denny!
Loving this conversation with Eddie and Bobby so far
Bobby pointing out the main thing Eddie has a problem committing to is womenâŠ
Weâre talking about Shannon!!
The church is a lot of the reason they got married! They both felt pressured!! âLoved being married to herâ
Lmao Bobby calling God âMarisolâs exâ
Ahhh fuck. Maraâs 911 call is devastating.
Eddie is hiding from Marisol at Buckâs place lol.
âWe were on a dateâ âwait, Tommyâs gay?â Eddie what about Buck, who was. Also on that date.
âThis doesnât change a thing between usâ aaah this is so sweet!!!
Awww Buck canât stop thinking about him. (Listen I will always ship Buddie but Iâm also loving BuckxTommy right now!!! I can like both!!)
âHe doesnât know youâre an idiot. Once he gets to know you, and know that youâre an idiot, heâll love you!! Like we all do!!â Ahahahaha
Hug!
So. Eddie and Marisol arenât breaking up. (Yet?)
TOMMY! âI didnât cut things short because you behaved badly, I did it because I didnât want to pressure you.â YES. Love love love this.
Lmao Tommyâs reaction to Buck asking him to Maddieâs wedding. Just âahahaha. What??â
Buck and Eddie are a MESS
WHAT HAPPENED TO CHIMNEY
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watching 7x07
starting the ep off with Maddie facing another reminder of doug is evil but real
the 118!!! Buck and Eddie working together to save the baby, something about that is so symbolic
ATHENA MOMY
God i hope that assholes dead. HE LEFT HER TO DIE??? god i hope he dies.
HENREN MOMMYS đ„°đ„ș good of them to forbid tablets while eating so slay of them.
Henren actually fighting for Mara is so!! they want her to be save and okay đ also denny knowing is!!!
oh, Marisol, Eddie and Chris date is interesting.... Like what is,,, im hmmm. Chris my beloved<3
"not to late to leave her now" OKAY EDDIE
the WOMAN LOOKS LILE SHANON HOLY SHIT WE GOT FLASHBACKS????????? OMG IM!!!! EDDIE MY BABYGRL. "You okay you look like you've seen a ghost" Yeah duh cause he did.
Hen being sooooo careful with Mara and sharing with her without expecting anything back,,,, She is such a good mom đ„șđ„șđ„ș god i love henren as parents <3 also Denny is the best big brothers out there <3
i really hope they find Maras brother so that Henren can have 3 babys<3
the way maddie keeps tearing up but keeps it together because she has learned to live with her trauma!!!! and knows how to cope my sweet girl â€ïž but also the fact that she feels guiltyđ
Oh, they separated Mara from her brother. Its so wrong. the father is a dick bag.
Ohhh the actor of the nurse is!! (dr. austin<3) he is still hot like he was in the resident.
"my husband tried to kill me. almsot succeeded" but he didnt because Maddie didn't give up !!! đ€§
Maddie facing Catherine, seeing what could've (what was her) been her. is insane to me. the storytelling. the parallels the emotions.
Ohhh eddies back to watch shanon 2.0. interessting. lmao he is so nervous help đ like a young boy facing his crush đđ her humor!! the way they have the same actress act like shannon but not quiet like her is so !!! this episode is so cinematic i live it!!!
"girlfriend maybe?" "oh no, just me and my son" OH EDDIE what about Marisol. HMMM.... So so so interesting SHE GAVE HIM AN S SHAPED KEY CHAIN? SHANON.
Henren using the mommy and me Club to find Maras brother. The dad is a capital D dick. the mom is okay she gets it.
Maddie listening to the call again and again and again. is so... hmmm. her experience really is there! she knows something wasnt right.
"I have been the passenger in that car" oh. oh maddie đ
STOP CHIM IS SUCH A LOVING HUSBAND SO SUPPORTIVE. I need someone like this fr fr.
oh the abusive man STALKED HER!!!!
oh Catherines mom đ„ș the pain she must be feeling. the horror.
Rick is so funny help. "Hi
EDDIE CHEATED?????? HELP WHAT THE FUCK. HE IS FUCKINZ HIS WIFES DOPPELGĂNGER WHILE HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP????? OH THATS INTERESTING "catholic guilt to cheating pipeline" interesting. wait huh? is she not real? OH MY GOD. HE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT????? WHAT THE FUCK. what an interesting story line for Eddie.
The abuser having a wife that ran from him, makes me think. hes looking for a new mother. similar to maybe the way Eddie is looking for a new mom for Chris?. maybe something about obssesing about the wrong thing? đ (not that Eddie is the same amount of creep as Kyle)
Maddie you're a genius. the way she KNEW that he was gonna be in the park? slay.
Rick desprately trying to find him. I love him.
the 118, injured man with a gun.... hm..... that has never gone well for them. Chimney!!!! OH THE WAY THAT MAN SAVED THE BABY!!!!
"THENA this is the guy!!!" BUCK AND HIS MOMMY<33333
wow this ep was a Rollercoaster, i love it.
oh the guilt Catherines feeling is, is omg. my heart breaks. BOBBY WITH THE BABY STOOOOOP HE IS SO DAD SHAPED đ
NASH, OH GOD THE THEORY IS REAL. AMIR KNOWS BOBBY FROM MINNESOTA IDK WHO SAID IT BUT YOU WERE RIGHT!!!!!
the mom coming bye with Maras brotherđ what a kind hearted woman i love her đ
OH THE WAY TYSON RAN INTO HER ARMS đđđ IM SOBBING
BUCK YOU SEXY MAN. OH BuckleyDiaz family dinnerđ„°đ„°đ„° oh oh no:( Buck is on babysitting dinner đ„č missed that!!!!
Maddie finally finally being at peace with her pastđ„č
BABY JEE đ„č but shes not a lil baby anymore đđđ
oh Chim looks so proud at Maddie.
WAIT A DAMN MINUTE EDDIE IS ON A DATE WITH SHANNON 2.0.
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Spoilers for s7e5 9-1-1 under cut:
So I'm watching live and I am missing parts because of a tornado warning but:
Opening? Funny as hell. Poor Eddie. His poor balls.
Karen and Hen preparing for a baby with Chim and Maddie and then not getting a baby? But a little girl age 9? Interesting.
Buck being awkward and closeted with Tommy.
Eddie interrupting? Marisol moving in? Ooooof.
Tommy being like "I don't think you're ready" ow my heart. He's absolutely right to do so. Love Tommy!
Hen and Karen meeting the little girl.
Tornado warning. Ugh. Btw, I'm out of the path of the tornado warning, it's further south of me but I'm getting the warning anyway.
Buck going to Maddie for advice and then playing the pronoun game "this person".
Maddie catching on... "Now you're more than an ally"
Then.... "it's the same Tommy... Eddie's friend..." With a frankly judgy stare Lmfao
Maddie is giving good advice even if taken off guard but being supportive like we knew she would be. Maddie is awesome.
Then Eddie and Marisol in bed in the next scene...her boxes everywhere.
Also hello shirtless Eddie, welcome back, good to see ya.
Marisol was almost a fucking Nun??? Eddie making jokes about being spanked...
Back to the little traumatized girl with Hen and Karen. Karen and Hen are such good moms. This poor kid tho. I don't know what has happened to this kid but goddamn, my heart.
Ooh Buck what are you doing with Eddie... Eddie is being weird about the nun thing lol and talking about his reservoir of Catholic guilt
"like sea monkeys" "no"
Something something tornado warning
"I haven't been able to...you know...since I found out"
"which is why you're so pent up"
Buck backing out of telling Eddie about his recent sexual exploration...
Hen and Cap talking about the traumatized girl. This is heartbreaking. The whole situation is heartbreaking. Poor Denny, he's such a a good kid. But like...why isn't this girl in therapy of some sort? Shit. Like...shit. I hate the US healthcare system. But something is going on and like...idk.
Again, this tornado warning is annoying. I'm missing half the convos and my closed captions aren't working properly.
Hen and Karen are struggling, which I understand, and I think they're trying but with cases like this...
Now Eddie and Cap are talking about Marisol... And his commitment issues... I swear to God Cap was going to say "military, your job, ... Buck" lmfao
"I would probably go to confession, wouldn't want to get on her ex's bad side...the Lord"
Dog attack? Parallels to the little girl? Ooh, heavy handed metaphors...
Wait, does Hen just know dog CPR? Cool.
Oh yay, the dog doesn't die! Hen is now committed to helping the little girl.
Mara is the little girl's name, Athena is helping... The girl's parents were criminals, died to OD. The girl called 911. This poor kid.
Buck and Eddie... Ooof. I'm not spoiling this. I love you all. Ok.
I will say Eddie didn't seem super surprised about it but the fucking tornado warning drowned out half of the scene. I am pissed. I'm going to have to rewatch this later.
Buck is the cutest little bisexual and I love him. I really do.
Eddie...and Marisol. Nuns. Moving In. Not moving in. Blah blah don't care. Sorry not sorry.
More with this new kid and Karen. God, Hen is lucky AF. Karen is amazing and I want to marry her.
Buck and Tommy! Yes. Yessss. Awwww. I love them. Buck is growing up! Tommy is fucking amazing. He's so gentle and kind and and awwwww.
The boys showing up for the wedding like that... lmfao. Omg. We gotta wait two weeks for The Hangover: 9-1-1 edition.
This episode is not what we wanted for Buddie but uh... There is still time? Maybe? There's always fanfiction.
Also? Tommy? I like him. I hope we keep him.
Also? Friendship is never a consolation prize. If they ever end up together or not, the love is there and that matters. The love always matters.
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Did you hear about the Pilar barbie situation on TikTok where it was a white women lying about being Romani and created a whole make-up business off the lie đ
GIRL omg đđ gossiping about Pilar is one of my favourite activities...
She has a lot of lore so I'm going to walk you through all I can remember
For the people who don't know her, Pilar was an American tiktoker who made videos about Romani issues (this is the only remaining picture of her I found on tiktok)
From what I remember, she was already there in 2020 during COVID times when I became active on Romani internet. I don't even remember when she got really popular, it must have happened gradually or something but she was one of the biggest Romani 'internet activists' alongside Florian and Brooke (in the early days).
Sometimes she also dressed more 'traditional'
which... really just looks like she was putting on a costume. anyway I don't have more recent pictures from her tiktoks as she suspended her account but the way she wore a headscarf and golden jewellery to try and emulate being Romani was already pretty messed up and unnecessary, as a lot of Romani women dont wear either of these things in the first place
I don't remember what group she was originally claiming to be from, but that's the point, she kept changing it. Except that she did so over a very slow period of time and by making only vague references about her heritage so it was hard to catch on. Anyway, over the past 4 years I have heard her say she was:
Russian Romani
Polish Romani
Crimean Romani
Gitana/Spanish Romani
Sinti
Manush, to be even more specific
Mixed Eastern European Romani + Manush
And that is all I specifically remember but I wouldn't be surprised if she also had a kalderash or lovari arc at some point đ anyway, after a while I started noticing things weren't adding up and her heritage was very vague and that was weird. Not to be mean, but she is also American, and I always feel way, way more cautious when it comes to American Roma than European Roma, Romani racefakers are almost always American because no European in their right mind would think it's cool to pretend to be romani đđ
Anyway, what really made it for me was the stuff she used to say on tiktok. Some of it was just blatantly not true. I almost lost my mind during her Sinti arc because she said stuff like "Sara e Kali isn't a big religious figure for Sinti people", "Sara e Kali isn't a catholic romani figure", and then she also pretended to have ties to some famous Sinti people when i know for a fact that is not possible... But I can't say more about that because that would be too doxx-y... She also said some more bs about Sinti people and I corrected her in the comments and she tried to follow me and it was so cringe
Then I also knew she was toxic because she would harass Romani women on tiktok and I remember at least one instance when she insulted a European Romani woman by saying, "you claim to be Romani but you dress like a hoe, you're just a gadji because Romani women respect ourselves by covering up"....
Two other things that didn't sit right with me was her clntent. She would talk a lot about anti Roma racism in Europe, which was great, she would talk about news no one else talked about. But she had a very guilt-trippy and angry way to talk about it that made it look like she was overdoing it and mocking the way antiracist activists talk, just to get engagement. It didn't feel genuine. And also, she would put ads for her make up brand and Cosplays of her as Wanda Maximoff between tiktoks about pogroms and police brutality. It all looked like a scam and like she was doing some traumaporn just for people to buy her stuff
And she also bullied Brooke so hard that she never came back on Tiktok, even though she (Brooke) had been the OG Romani tiktoker, had even been featured in Romea (a Romani newspaper), and was genuinely half Romani. And why? Because she is white passing? That's stupid, Pilar was allegedly white passing herself
(the way so many Romani tiktokers turned their back against Brooke was super disgusting btw, I don't know her personally but from what I've heard she is a very nice person)
Anyway, by 2022 I knew for sure Pilar was lying. That year I got in touch with other Romani girls and women online and we discussed it and they also all knew that Pilat was lying. Her being a racefaker was pretty much an open secret, at least among (chronically) online Romani people. Except that none of us could call her out, because she was very popular and extremely toxic. I can't even tell you how toxic she was. She had a circle made up of other American Romani women and they bullied tons of Romani people online, and guess what these romani people had in common!
Most of them were women
Most of them had a complicated family history
A lot of them were white passing (really tho, being white passing seems to be a problem ONLY when you are a woman. white passing Romani men never receive any hate)
A lot of them were LGB
And these American Roma bullied them, made a lot of them suicidal (seriously, I've heard several accounts of Pilar's bullying victims becoming suicidal), because they allegedly weren't 'romani enough'.
So, obviously, neither me nor any of my friend could call her out because we weren't nowhere as popular and we were all LGB romnia.
But then came FLORIAN. Literally the only person who could put a stop to her shenanigans. Ngl, I think only Florian, a straight, American Romani man with a big platform could have stopped her. And I am so glad he did, because she really made being Romani on the internet very stressful. I was so scared she would come to Tumblr one day lmao. Anyway, I have a lot of bones to pick with Florian but that was his biggest W. Here is his tiktok btw:
#Everything about her was faaake omg#when Florian's tiktok call out dropped I screamed#the evil is defeated etc#So ironic that those bullies were AMERICAN too...#American Roma don't get an iota of the racism Sinti and Roma face in Europe#but they still have the nerve to pretend they can say who is Roma and who isn't??#also her Romaness accent was so bad#And I remember when her DNA test leaked and her family tree was all Spanish people lmao#but she got that account suspended#asks#Anon#Pilar
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Hello, do you mind if I ask that "bookish ask"? For no. 15, 34, and 50. Thanks if you want to answer.....
Hello! Sure, thank you for asking :)
15. What book changed your life?
This was a hard question!
I know I've mentioned this book already several times but in complete honesty I think Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice did geniunely change my life a bit whenever I first read it at 15 or 16. I was raised in a strict Christian home and sent to a tiny Christian school in a small town, and had all my media and activities and the people I was allowed to interact with and the stuff I did very closely monitored so that it was basically always Christian and rarely ever adult in content or themes or anything for most of my childhood and my early teens. So originally when I bought this book at the bookstore at age 15 and my mom found out about it I had to return it to the bookstore immediately, because she saw that it was about vampires and she thought it sounded bad. Normally I was pretty obedient and I hated to do anything against my parents' wishes, but by then I had already started reading it and was already pretty hooked on knowing what was going to happen next. So I sneaked around behind my mom's back to secretly buy it again, and then pulled a Light Yagami by gutting one of the wholesome children's books on my shelf to hide this forbidden book inside (this was before I ever watched Death Note, but whenever I saw Light using the same bookshelf trick to hide his magazines I was like HAHAHA omg no way). So reading this book and then several more of them in the series after that kinda marked the first time I ever really explicitly disobeyed the authority figures around me in order to read something considered off-limits or more "adult," and kinda made me realize that I felt like I was missing out on a whole gigantic part of life by only ever being restricted to that tiny little bubble of stuff I'd been exposed to thus far. Everything that the book touched on just resonated extremely strongly with me at the time, in large part probably due to my religious guilt and my questioning of these things (because oooh boy is it obvious that Anne Rice is a lapsed Catholic in her writing a lot of the time). But also I think the melodrama of the story matched with my teenage angst so well, and I definitely was vibing strongly with just how queer so much of the series feels as well (I didn't realize yet that I was gay, but I was starting to question things like that about myself a bit by then I think. It was very rare that I was ever exposed to anything not completely heteronormative back then due to it being the 2000s and due to being in a homophobic religious bubble my whole life, so this really was one of the very first times I was). I feel like reading this book really marked the beginning of me opening my mind up from the stuff that I'd just been raised to believe and acted like a nice gateway for me between that and exploring lots of other interesting things that had previously been off-limits to me before that as well.
34. List 5 OTPs: I don't think I actually have five OTPs! The only one I really truly have ever been long-term passionate about enough to call it something like an otp is Lawlight. I could name you a few other ships that I definitely find pretty compelling and angsty for me to think about as well right now though, like Nana and Hachi from the Nana manga series and Griffguts from Berserk
50. Why do you love to read?
Hmm! At this point I might say just that I'm kind of obsessed with stories and the art of storytelling in general. And I think what I love so much about books in particular is just how intimate they can feel and how deep into a character's head or specific point of view or a different world or time period or whatever you can get with them. It's a bit different than something like watching a show or a movie to really get to know a character or experience a story directly just through the words on the page. I like how much you can just make it all up for yourself (which is to me why it often feels really odd to see a book I loved turned into a movie or show that doesn't match what I pictured in my imagination). I was lucky enough to grow up reading and being read to by my parents quite a bit, so it feels homey and nostalgic to me to sit down with a good book too. And I feel like as an adult it's just one of the better hobbies I've ever had in terms of expanding my mind and challenging me and teaching me a lot about all the things that interest me the most.
[bookish asks]
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Wait, this is such a unique way of thinking when it comes to writing omg! Now that I'm thinking about it, it would help to have a certain "vibe" within the outline in the story. I'm kind of leaning towards this trope of a guilt-ridden Miguel with an ethereal reader ?? I know damn well that this man got that Catholic guilt in him, he def has some wack ass relationship with his faith and God. So, I'm thinking of whites and grays ??? And (this is gonna sound weird) but kind of like that feeling when you're outside right before a huge rainstorm throughout the beginning of the story. Like there's this anticipation for something to happen but you won't know until it finally does. Does this make sense? I'm also kind of rambling but I'm very much happy to be talking to someone with more writing experience ^^ I hope I'm not taking too much of your time btw and tysm for your advice, it helps visualize the story without necessarily having to use words. It's more like cultivating the general sense of emotions and atmosphere in your writing. This really did help so much! Thank you !! đ«
-đ nonnie
EXACTLYYY. you are saying exactly what I was meaning. Jejwiidkkkd I love the vibe already AAAAA
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hello! same anon that was asking moonscape about pmmm stuff. i've been looking through your pmmm-related posts a bit after i saw your reply and i love the way you talk about the characters and really seem to understand them! do you maybe have some more headcanons or general thoughts you'd want to share? i can never get enough of hearing fan's cool thoughts about the show
AHHH thank you!! im really flattered omg i'll put some general thoughts and rambles under the cut so my mutual who hasnt seen it yet wont see
-i know you said you saw my reply already but just gonna repeat it so its on my blog: homura was a foster child who lost her parents when she was young, and because of her heart condition she was passed around to several different (usually christian) families that usually didn't care much for her, only about the check. this led to her initial meek and self deprecating personality. the reason she latched onto madoka is because she's the first person to ever show her true kindness. when she changes her hair style, she cuts off from her current foster family entirely and lives on her own (and may have stolen the foster checks and other cash to do so)
-on top of that she struggles with her feelings with madoka and feeling like she's cruel and selfish for loving her because of her christian upbringing and going to catholic school. families likely didn't take well to her being gay
-hitomi is a closeted lesbian
-kyosuke gives me egg vibes so.
-im basic i like madohomu best but like polyam holy quintet is so real also
-people who say madohomu is one sided are so wrong. how do u explain any of madoka's actions towards homura when walpurgisnacht happens
-some of my favorite moments in the show relate to homura stuff bc GOD all of her scenes are just. enhanced by the plot twist
-wait ive mentioned this but people who think homura doesn't care about the other girls are so??? literally yes she does care about them, she loves madoka the most of course but she cares about sayaka's life when she goes to retrieve her soul gem and her telling sayaka she'll kill her to spare madoka the pain is clearly just her doing the worst thing she can to force sayaka to act. she's kinda distant from everything she's done at this point and is willing to act cruel to get what she wants.
-i kinda love that canonically mami is the strongest magical girl. mami is underrated tbh, i know she's a main character but her spinoff manga was SO good and she's such a tragic character in her own right. she's a deeply lonely person and even if i didn't care for magia record season 1, i really like the approach they went with her character there, where in this universe she's the one who convinced madoka and sayaka to contract, and when she learns the truth, she becomes ridden with guilt and joins the magias to save them because she feels responsible for their fates now. it's such a good place to take her character (and im kinda sad they eventually go "oh no it was brainwashing nvm")
-i absolutely adore this show's brand of horror. the entire thing is just Off in a lot of ways but it's in ways you struggle to place, and the whole thing is thanks to shaft's editing. there's a youtube vid i watched where like the tilting shots up to where the girls look down on the "camera" or random close ups on objects with quiet sounds adds to the feeling that something is wrong even when the show hasn't taken it's dark turn yet. i think focusing a lot of the actual horror elements on the terror of everyone's situation and gradually revealing how much worse everything is is so perfect, it's all paced perfectly to be as hard hitting as possible. and the actual violent moments are done well, none of them are really THAT bad but they're blunt and shocking enough to hit where it hurts. idk if im describing it right but augh its so good
-on that topic the theory that pmmm is framed as a stage show is also so good. i gotta find the post i reblogged about that bc man it adds to the show
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oh, yeah, I totally get that and I definitely understand why it resonates with you. I think they did a really good job showing the tensions between ruth and lee, and I would've loved to have seen that explored some more. and I'm really glad the film was something you were able to connect with like that, though I definitely understand the pain and pressure that comes from an overprotective or overly invested parent. I was raised in a Muslim family, and I'm quite lapsed from it now, but my mom still constantly asks me to pray and tries to pressure and guilt-trip me into it. just the other day, she essentially ordered me to do one prayer a day, not even asking me if it's what I want, and that gave me such a helpless feeling. I remember watching the film, and thinking I could definitely relate to lee trying to rush the end of the call when her mom asks if she's still praying JDKSDJS because I, too, will literally laugh it off with my mom and try to switch the topic super fast đ
NO FR like, it made me actually bugged that people felt like just because lee didn't perform or engage with society's narrow, specifically set of standards designated for social interactions, she must be rude or not care for ruby, like đ I really don't like that, since it essentially pushes this narrative that if someone doesn't mask and doesn't perform society's "rules," they must be behaving rudely or angrily, which ofc is not true. and omg please, let's talk about it more!! after seeing longlegs, I immediately searched up that night if anyone else thought lee was on the spectrum, and I was so glad to see other people identifying with her. like, you're spot on, I remember seeing how she interacted with agent carter (also omg I loved him sm) and agent browning, and being so happy to see a neurodivergent character in a horror film. and for sure, I thought her accepting the invitation was def a sign she was open to seeing ruby again!!
omg right, I'm seriously hoping they release the alternate ending. I know some people said in the credits, there was an actress whose role was "Adult Ruby," and honestly, I'd love to see an ending that shows how ruby has been impacted by the events of the film + if her and lee are still in touch. and same, i really would've loved the film to be longer, or to have it turned into a series ;-; my main complaint of the film was that things weren't fleshed out enough, and I feel like a series would've done a brilliant job at expanding certain elements. plus it gives more lee harker content đ_đ HAHA
augh that sounds rough, i totally understand where youâre coming from ;-; i havenât been a practicing catholic in quite some time, but a lot of that thinking has been ingrained into my behavior, so itâs taken a lot of work to undo it. some of my family outside my mom are still very much in it (and wish i was), so i try to avoid religious talk with them, but oh man. i feel âtrying very hard to switch topics when talking to my momâ A Lot. i love her ofc, but sometimes the way she acts feels like more of a guilt trip than a conversation, and forget about disagreeing with her!
anyway - yeahđ€š itâs interesting that some people are drawing that conclusion with lee when your typical detective procedural protagonist (mostly played by men. interesting) has those same antisocial qualities, theyâre beloved.
and oh?? i mustâve missed thatâŠgives me another reason to watch the movie again lmao
but yeahđ sadly movies only have so much time with the characters and their world. i know i definitely wouldâve liked to spend more time in longlegsâ universe
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AHHH omg this is such a wonderful review, Iâve been taking my time in replying so I can respond to you as fully as youâve responded to me <3 Firstly, thank you so much for reading and supporting Trouvaille so passionately, Iâm very lucky to have a reader like you and receive such lovely feedback, Iâm truly grateful <3Â
SO LMAOO youâre so right with the dabbling in occult things you arenât familiar with - the precise reason MC had attracted the demonic presence! We all do silly things as teenagers, but this one literally came back to haunt her.Â
Elk hybrid Jeongguk⊠WHEW he is quite sexy in this, heâs actually not one of my biases, but one of my bestieâs⊠to be a little evil and for her benefit, I made him extra sexy for Trouvaille. I knew that there would have to be a few of the hybrids that werenât all rainbows and sunshine, and heâs definitely one that creates a bit of friction. Weaving a little Catholic guilt into him is a tempting idea, but Iâve sort have written him in a bit of agnostic way. As the story unfolds, weâll get more insight to his beliefs and sort of practices he maintains. Alsoâ he IS a big boy!! The antlers definitely make him seem larger, as does his whole domineering vibe⊠plus the tattoos, Trouvaille Jeongguk has sleeves on both arms, a tattoo on his back, and of course the piercingsâŠ.. gosh heâs so hot LOL
So ahhhh Iâm really excited that youâre loving the dynamics so far, thank you so much :â) Yoongi and Hobi definitely love to rile her up, and rightfully soâ MC gets so flustered, can you blame her? My favorite bits of writing are sneaking in the little moments between characters!
I looove your take on Hoseok, I feel very similar to you towards him. In Trouvaille, the excessive teasing, playfulness, and beguiling energy are very much a front to cover up some of what he perceives to be a darkness inside of him. Hoseok bounced around from shelter to shelter, so perhaps over time he had been convinced that something was off about himself⊠Heâs going to have many moments in this fic where heâll have to address the way he âmasksâ with the playfulness. I havenât talked TOO much about the future NSFW chapters (truthfully, I havenât even gotten close to writing those scenes, this is a slowwwww burn) but I think you might get your wish with Hoseok in Trouvaille ;)
Each hybrid has soooo many secrets, and I really canât wait for them to open up more and share some with the MC. I have a document keeping track of all of their backstories, and thereâs just SO much she doesnât know about them yet (the readers, too!) And ahh itâs hard to not share them with everyone and spoil XD I think some of the secrets are darker than others, as well, and may shock a few readers so Iâm excited to get to those!Â
Also HNNNGG my bestie who beta reads Trouvaille told me my scenting scenes just get hornier and hornier as I write them (prepareee yourself for Sope)⊠I feel like if I were to make some of the hybrids a bit more yandere in the future, the bite/euphoric sensation would definitely work as a power imbalance in their favor (we shall see if this happens fdsfasjf) Chapter Six will start off breakneck with the continuation of Seokjinâs scenting scene. The hybrids definitely have an unspoken hierarchy, but when it comes to scenting, it has more to do with how deeply MCâs scent begins to affect them. Seokjin definitely already feels some type of way about MC~Â
Tae will get more involved with MCâs spiritual practice as time wears on!! (I mean, they all have something to do with the paranormal plots at some point too) Heâs a cutie pie though. Wants to be interested in the same things as MC, to understand her perhaps. The delivery kid didnât realize Tae was a hybrid! His hair is really curly and overgrown, often hiding his ears. Next chapter the hybrids will be getting their haircuts, theyâre overdue for a little pampering (poor MC isnât ready for the outcome!) Weâll see more of Tony (delivery kid) at the cookout, and his interactions with Tae!
Yoongi seems to be taking the role of house husband, and MC really amuses him with her tad on the flighty side, clumsy, stubborn personality. Deep down heâs just a sweetheart, he already cares for MC quite a bit~ and Jimin, he definitely needed an excuse to get back outside, and now he has the chance to do what he loves while also being with MC. I think the stable restoration and then boarding horses will be a good bonding experience for him and MC :)Â
AHH so Iâll be updating on the 7th (once a month) until likely September, when my classes end - just so I can continue to deliver these nice long updates and not be rushing to try and get them out <3 after that though, Iâll go back to twice a month! Thank you thank you thank you for this awesome review and letting me get a glimpse into your thoughts and theories, I adored it <3 I hope you have a lovely rest of your week honey!!
Trouvaille - Chapter Five
Pairing(s); BTS OT7 x Reader
Genre/Themes; Hybrid!AU, themes of the supernatural and the occult, religious themes, violence, hurt/comfort, horror, romance
Rated; 18+ for swearing, violence/gore, future sexual themes. Reader discretion is advised.
Word Count; 20.5k
Trouvaille Masterlist
Trouvaille playlist
Updates on the 7th of each month
Hi everyone, it's Dana! Hope you had a lovely April, I'm so excited to share this update with you all! This chapter will involve discussions of the paranormal, a bit of angst, and SCENTING - the scenting scenes are a bit heated, I'll give you a heads up ;) The taglist is still open, and as always I love to hear reader's thoughts, theories, and comments đ Enjoy and thank you for reading and supporting Trouvaille!
Previous Chapter
The pain shooting up from the site where her ankle bone had torn through her flesh was insignificant in comparison to the pure terror taking over her senses. Desperately, she tried to drag herself under the remains of a fallen tree, though the trail of crimson pulsing steadily from her torn skin left evidence of her presence in its wake. Even now, she knew it was for naughtâ the creature could no doubt smell the scent of her spilled blood, and was closing in at any second. In fact, she felt her chest tighten at the sound of a twig snapping somewhere nearby, the crunch of footsteps approaching. Whimpering, she shakily pressed a hand over her mouth, able to spot a cloud of breath just paces away from her hiding spot. In the howling winds of the blizzard, a gut-wrenching growl cut through the noise as the predator closed in on its prey.Â
Y/N felt herself fading in and out of a disturbed sleep. Pieces of fragmented memory passed through her mind fleetingly; being lifted off of a cold surface by a pair of strong arms, her head pressed against a rapidly beating heart. Panicked shouting, her body shivering and convulsing, the soft fabric of her quilt. The ghost of a hand brushing the hair off of her forehead, flickering candlelight and perfumed smoke, gentle mumbling⊠prayer?
As consciousness came to her bit by bit, her fingers flexing and relaxing in their grip on the fabric of her sheets, the hushed voices in the room grew louder as her senses returned to her slowly. Her throat felt like sandpaper from the scented smoke filling the room, a thin whine ripping from it as she attempted to peel her heavy eyelids open. Y/N felt like she had the worldâs worst hangover, stomach turning over uncomfortably and skull throbbing. As her eyes opened, she stared blearily at the ceiling, the moldings around the Tiffany chandelier coming into focus as her eyes adjusted to the low lighting. It was still nighttime, or very early dawn, judging by the darkened walls of her bedroom. The voices she heard while she was waking up were silent.Â
Groaning, Y/N squeezed her eyes shut, steeling herself to sit up and try to recall how she had gotten to bed in the first place. As she lifted her head, the spot she had smacked on the marble floor throbbed in agony. Suddenly, two tattooed hands swiftly landed on her shoulders, firmly pressing her back down into her pillows with a curse. Reeling, Y/N painfully turned her head to look at Jeongguk, who was sitting on the side of her bed, appearing both exhausted and vaguely annoyed. Just beyond the elk hybridâs silhouette, Y/N saw Jimin, who was biting his fingernails down to the nub, staring at her with grave concern.Â
âWh-what happened?â Y/N croaked after a few beats, Jeongguk finally removing his hands from her shoulders and leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. A rosary, one with dark red beads, was wrapped around one of his wrists.Â
âYou passed out in the hallway. Hit your head,â Jeongguk replied, his voice hoarse as if he had been speaking for a very long time.Â
Tentatively, Y/N lifted her hand, gingerly poking at the site of her injury above her left eyebrow. Wincing at the tender flesh, her hand stilled as she felt the fabric of a butterfly bandage someone had applied to the wound. Shifting her gaze from Jeongguk, Y/N noticed Taehyung sitting at the foot of her bed, expression grim. Hoseok and Seokjin were lingering by her dresser, damp washcloths in the jaguar hybridâs hand and both of the hybridâs ears turned downwards in distress.Â
âAnd upstairs, what h-happened upstairs?â Y/N squeaked, feeling terrible that the hybrids all looked so disturbed. Further, with the Poltergeist twist to the evening, she was anxious to learn about what had unfolded after she lost consciousness. Namjoon and Yoongi werenât in the room, from what she could tell, which formed a pit in her stomach. Had something happened to them?
Jeongguk sighed roughly, running his hand through his tangled hair and placing the rosary on her nightstand. Taehyung looked away from her, though Y/N realized his hand was wrapped around her ankle, likely in an attempt to soothe her. Seokjin made his way to the bedside, the corners of his mouth turned downwards as he scanned the site of her injury. Carefully, he found one of her hands gripping the sheets, wrapping it in his much larger hand and brushing his thumb over her skin. Shuddering at the contact, Y/N stared at Seokjin pleadingly for any type of explanation. To her surprise, Jeongguk answered her.Â
âI got rid of it, eventually. Son of a bitch tried to attach itself to you when I drew it out from the second floor. Itâs gone though,â Jeongguk stood from his spot on her bed, moving to snuff out the herb bundle he had left burning on a plate on Y/Nâs desk. Seokjin tightened his hold on her hand as she shimmied up on the bed as best she could with Taehyungâs grip on her ankle.Â
âYou got rid of it? Did anyone get hurt? What was it?â Y/N pushed damp hair out of her face, wondering if Seokjin had cleaned up her face with the face cloths he was holding earlier. âHow did you even know that there was something here in the first place?âÂ
Jeongguk chuckled tiredly, stubbing out the herb bundle Judy had given her, his little notebook sitting next to it. The room, while considerably lighter spiritually, still felt tense. Hearing a floorboard creak, Y/N gasped in relief upon seeing Yoongi enter the room, his hair tied up messily and a steaming mug in his hand. Eyebrows pinched, he approached the bed, placing the fruity-smelling cup of tea in Y/Nâs free hand.Â
âIs that pomegranate?â Jeongguk nodded towards the mug in her hand, eyeing Yoongi with suspicion.Â
âYes, I heard you the first three times you insisted I make her pomegranate tea, Father Karras,â Yoongi narrowed his eyes, motioning for Y/N to take a sip with his lips pursed. She didnât even know she had pomegranate tea in her cupboards, let alone the reason behind Jeongguk insisting she drink it.Â
âNo one was hurt,â Seokjin murmured by her side softly, still holding her hand. Relieved, Y/N squeezed his fingers with a small smile.Â
âAs for what it was, Iâm not exactly sure. It was a malevolent entity for sure, but I wouldnât go as far as to call it a demon,â Jeongguk explained, rubbing his eye with a fist. Y/N wondered if he was up all night trying to banish the spirit. âI used to hang around with a group of paranormal investigators. We did cleansings from time to time.â
Y/Nâs mouth dropped open upon hearing his revelation, Hoseok scoffing from across the room. She didnât think Hoseok wholly bought into subject matter surrounding the occult, however, she remembered that he seemed significantly perturbed during the incident the previous night. Taking a sip of the tea Yoongi brought her, Y/N felt Taehyungâs hand on her ankle grow tighter.Â
âSo what, you can sense ghosts or something? Like a fortune teller?â Hoseok jabbed, his arms crossed over his chest. Jimin, who migrated to her dresser where the fox hybrid was, stomped on Hoseokâs foot while he opened up one of the dresser drawers. Y/N watched Jimin pull out a fresh change of clothes, Jeongguk muttering under his breath as he tucked his notebook under his arm.Â
âIâm gonna get some sleep now that youâre fine,â the elk hybrid announced gruffly, avoiding eye contact with her once again before exiting from the room, fumbling with the notebook in one hand and a pack of Marlboros in the other. Seokjin released Y/Nâs hand, pushing a lock of damp hair off of her forehead while she pouted at Jeonggukâs departure. She felt it was the first time the elk hybrid trusted her enough to tell her a little about his past, and lamented his absence immediately.Â
âMiss Y/N, hereâs some new clothes. Youâll probably want to shower, Namjoon was applying oil to your arms and such,â Jimin gently placed the new outfit on her bed, Y/N suddenly feeling self-conscious as Jiminâs golden eyes flitted across her bare clavicle, which she now realized was coated in olive oil. Yoongi cleared his throat awkwardly, bouncing his leg from Y/Nâs desk chair he had perched on.Â
âMm, youâre right. I feel sticky,â Y/N grimaced, allowing Seokjin to help her slowly sit up in bed with a hand on her back. The pain was slowly starting to ebb away from her wound above her eyebrow, Y/N entertaining the idea of Yoongi slipping an ibuprofen into the tea.Â
Reluctantly, Taehyung let go of her ankle, teeth worrying his lip as he watched both Jimin and Seokjin helping her out of the bed. The sun was starting to rise, filling the room with peachy light, capturing mahogany strands of hair on Hoseokâs head while he stood by the window, looking out at the backyard absently.Â
âWhereâs Namjoon?â Y/N asked Seokjin quietly, knowing Hoseok could hear her, but not wanting to startle him too much by saying the wolf hybridâs name above a whisper. Seokjin frowned, orange eyes turning stormy as he watched Y/N stretch out her stiff limbs, using Jiminâs arm to keep her balance. Jimin was right, the skin of her arm was streaked in oil, her shirt dappled with several greasy stains.Â
âIn his room. He helped Jeongguk with whatever ritual he was doing, and when you started to stir, he bolted from the room and has been locked away with that new book he got yesterday afternoon ever since,â Seokjin informed her, turning his head to gaze down the hall in the direction of Namjoonâs bedroom. Shrugging, Y/N assumed he was probably trying to look up what kind of entity had been in the home in his new encyclopedia. Distantly, she wondered if he was suffering from a hangover for the first time.Â
âWeâll leave you to it,â Yoongi made his way to the threshold of the door, motioning the others to follow. Taehyung seemed rooted to his spot on Y/Nâs bed, still chewing on his lip with pointed incisors, before hauling himself up and making his exit from her bedroom. âIâll make some breakfast, Jimin, could you help me out?âÂ
Nodding, Jimin left her bedside, Seokjin close behind, both hybrids giving her a wistful smile before following Yoongi and Taehyung down the hall. Sighing, Y/N inched towards the bathroom with her new clothes, forgetting that Hoseok was still in the room for a moment until he shuffled his feet behind her by the bathroom door. Craning her neck up at him in question, she tried to decipher the emotions flashing through his eyes.Â
âWhen I said that one of us was going to have to scrape you off the floor last night, I didnât think Iâd actually have to,â he began, his mouth in a flat line. Looking remorseful, he placed his hand on her shoulder shakily. âThat scared the shit out of me. The sound when you fell⊠it was awfulâŠâÂ
Hoseokâs eyebrows pulled together, his ears turning down while Y/N frowned. He squeezed her shoulder, as if he was checking that she was truly standing there in front of him. Placing her hand over his, she felt the strong urge to comfort Hoseok, who was more shaken from the whole event than she originally thought. After all, if she was more gravelly injured, who would be left to take care of him and the other hybrids?
âHey, Iâm okay now, Hoseok. Iâm patched up, the situation has been, uh⊠handled. My head doesnât even hurt that much,â Y/N cheerfully assured him the best she could, his expression still crumpled even after she spoke.Â
After several moments, and before she could overthink it, she tentatively stretched her arms out, inviting him in for a hug. She watched his mouth open and close, her eyebrows lifting, and just as she was going to drop her arms and laugh it off, Hoseokâs grip on her shoulder tightened, pulling her firmly to his chest. Shocked, Y/N felt Hoseokâs hand shift from her shoulder to the back of her head, cradling it to his chest, his other arm winding around her waist securely.
 By instinct, she pressed closer to Hoseok, her own arms wrapping around him and soothingly rubbing his back. Sensations from the previous night came back to her as she held the fox hybrid, Hoseokâs heartbeat racing through his chest like it had hours ago, the scent of rosewood coming from his skin comfortingly. After a few moments, Hoseok seemed to relax, the tenseness in his back muscles melting away under her hands, and he gave her a final squeeze before pulling away.Â
âIâm glad youâre alright,â his hands fell from her body after ruffling her hair, his dimples appearing on his cheeks as he began to leave the room, leaving Y/N stunned and red in the face as he shut the door tightly behind him.
Moving robotically, Y/N frantically tried to calm her erratically beating heart, shutting herself in the bathroom and shedding her oily clothes. It was as if she was utterly possessed, the urge to comfort each of the hybrids since she first laid eyes on them was so strong, all reason had fled from her mind. She had only met Hoseok days ago, and Y/N was already prepared to hold him for hours if that was what he neededâ she knew it was the same for the others, as well. Y/N hadnât expected to grow attached to all of them so quickly, even Namjoon, who she had barely exchanged more than a handful of sentences with. Shaking her head, she blindly turned on the shower.
 Pretty quickly, she noticed the bathroom was missing the drafty chill that had been pestering her for a couple of weeks, as she walked over to the window to assess the gap between the sill and the glass. Making a noise of surprise, she discovered a screwdriver on the windowsill, the drafty gap completely repaired. Floored, she speculated about who could have fixed the window amidst the chaos, but her bets were on Taehyung. He had mentioned he was handy.Â
Returning to the mirror in a daze, she winced at the nasty wound above her forehead, the skin already turning a mottled purple and the cut jagged. However, it was nicely cleaned up and tended to decently, which was more than she could have hoped for. Feeling a warmth bloom within her, Y/N was grateful that the hybrids had cared for her so well after her fall, even more so that Jeongguk and Namjoon had managed to rid the house of whatever was causing disturbances for so long. Of course, a seemingly endless string of questions looped around in her brainâ surrounding Jeonggukâs time with paranormal investigators, Namjoonâs apparent wealth of knowledge on the occult, and the entity that caused the incident in general.Â
While hot water washed the oil from her skin, Y/N felt a lightness in the atmosphere that had been absent from the house for several weeks. In the years she had spent focused on her career, stepping away from the realm of the supernatural and spirituality, Y/N supposed she had achieved her goal of becoming desensitized from itâ she didnât even realize how badly things had escalated with the entity that had come in from the grounds. Rinsing her hair, Y/N frowned; now that she had the hybrids, was it really so wise for her to continue turning her back on something so deeply woven into the fabric of her life? It was clear that she had only succeeded in ignoring who she was and how she connected with her spirituality, but she had neglected to put up the proper protection for herself and those around her in the midst of all that denial.Â
Her heart was heavy, realizing if she had simply cleansed the house once a month and maintained protection spells her mother put up ages ago, she likely could have spared the hybrids from witnessing such a dramatic event so soon after moving into their new home. With the pity, Y/N also found resolveâ she knew she never wanted something like that happening again in their home if there were measures she could take to prevent it. For the rest of the day, she planned on upping the protection on the entire house, perhaps crafting some charms for the hybrids to keep them safe. Hissing as hot water hit the cut on her forehead, Y/N screwed her mouth up in concentration, trying to remember where she had tucked away the trunk of her tools and herbs, likely somewhere in the basement under the stairs.Â
Toweling off, Y/N hummed softly, picking up the ancient tee shirt Jimin had selected, the one with her high schoolâs name printed across the front. It was the softest tee shirt she owned, to be fair, and paired with her well-worn leggings and fuzzy socks, Jimin picked out the perfect outfit for her to recover in from the previous night. Letting her hair drip-dry, Y/N shuffled out into her bedroom, detecting a sweet scent coming from the hallway cutting through the smoky scent of burnt cedar. Searching for her phone, she found it sitting on her nightstand beside Jeonggukâs rosary. Carefully, she scooped up the ruby beaded necklace, curiously passing her fingers over the smooth beads, the silver embellishments and cross. Tucking her phone into her pocket absently and cradling the rosary in her palm, Y/N thought it best to return it to Jeongguk once he woke up and placed it back on her nightstand gingerly. She wondered where he had gotten it, as it wasnât one of the purchases he had made at Judyâs store.Â
Rolling her stiff shoulders back, Y/N left her bedroom, the hallway bright with morning sun from the skylight above the grand staircase. Someone was singing softly in the kitchen, the sounds of pans clattering mixed between the sweet voiceâ Y/N guessed it was Seokjin. As she passed by Namjoonâs door, the creaky wooden scrape of her old desk chair across the hardwood within his room had her pausing, waiting for the wolf hybrid to undoubtedly seek her out. Within seconds she watched the door creak open, Namjoon cautiously sticking his head out into the hall to glance towards Y/Nâs bedroom.Â
Clearing her throat, Namjoonâs ear flickered, head snapping in the other direction to locate her. An awkward sensation washed over her as he scanned her face and body with his aloof expression. She recalled how soft his face had become the night before, but now it was void of that softness, as he stepped out in the hall and firmly closed the door behind him. He was wearing the blush pink thermal she had picked out for him.
âMorning,â Y/N greeted, trying her best to match his steady eye contact. âJeongguk said you helped out last night. Thank you,â she continued upon his silence to her greeting, his arms across his chest.Â
âIâve been trying to find out what it was in that encyclopedia. I have a couple of theories, but nothing that matches up completely with what went down last night,â Namjoon admitted, eyes shifting to the wound on her forehead. Subconsciously, she reached up to touch it, biting down on her lip at the stinging of the flesh.Â
âIf I didnât pass out, I would have been able to help you⊠sorry,â Y/N murmured sheepishly, a short grunt coming from the back of Namjoonâs throat. âIâm going downstairs to look for my old tools and books. Maybe something in the chest can help you narrow down some of your theories.â
Namjoon appeared intrigued, promptly following her to the basement door that was left ajar. She knew Hoseok was already in the kitchen; she had heard him whistling along to Seokjinâs song, so she didnât have to worry about Namjoon frightening the fox hybrid in his own space.Â
âI need your help to haul the chest up here, anyways,â Y/N attempted to break the silence as they trudged down the stairs, shrugging as she was met with no response when they reached the bottom.Â
Determinedly, she rifled through unmarked boxes beneath the stairs, pushing past Yule decorations and the file cabinet of her elementary school artwork. Namjoon hovered behind her after checking out the gym area with curiosity, hefting a large crate filled with old bottles out of the way for her when she unsuccessfully tried to push it with her foot. After a few moments of blowing cobwebs out of her face from under the darkened steps, she found her old trunk filled with supplies for her craft. Covered in fine dust, a pang of sadness rocked through Y/N, especially when she brushed her fingers over some of the sigils she had etched into the wood of the chest as a teenager.Â
âThis is it, Iâm assuming?â Namjoon questioned from over her shoulder, having to hunch down quite a bit to fit under the steps. Nodding with her mouth in a flat line, Namjoon hummed, wordlessly hooking his hand around the handle closest to him and pulling it out into the hallway of the basement with ease. Squeaking with surprise at the sheer strength Namjoon effortlessly displayed, Y/N scrambled after him.Â
âOh, itâs heavy, hold on! I might have to go get someone to help us bring it up the stairs,â Y/N worried as he dragged it to the stairs and lifted up one end of the trunk, Namjoon scoffing in response. It had taken her father and two older male cousins to drag her chest full of books, bottles, and metal tools down into the basementâ she thought to at least find Taehyung or Jeongguk.Â
âItâs fine, Y/N. Just grab the other end, Iâll walk backwards up the stairs and carry most of the weight. Just watch your step,â Namjoon rolled his eyes, pushing up the sleeves of his thermal. Gawking at the wolf hybrid, Y/N nervously grasped the other handle, hoisting it up as quickly as she could to avoid Namjoon having to bear the entirety of the weight of the trunk.Â
Namjoon moved slowly up the steps, whether he was accounting for Y/Nâs efforts or not. His face was serene, as if he was simply meditating rather than hauling an 80 pound chest up a flight of stairs. He truly was bearing most of the weight, Y/N feeling like she was lifting hardly anything at all as they moved, trying not to stare at the muscles straining the material of Namjoonâs thermal. When they reached the top of the steps, Namjoon took over, placing the trunk into the foyer with a thunk.Â
Catching her breath with a hand braced on the wall, Y/N eyed Namjoon with envy, his breathing even as he kneeled on the floor to unlatch the metal fasteners on the trunk. Peering over his shoulder as he pried open the chest, Y/N took the chance to check out the torn area of his left ear; it almost looked like the piece missing was bitten off. If that was the case, that must have been extremely painful for himâ Y/N had read about how sensitive a hybridâs ears were when she was reading about âscentingâ. Jutting her lower lip out in a pout, Y/N watched the damaged ear twitch, Namjoon craning his head upwards to look at her questioningly.Â
âWhat are you staring at?â Namjoon narrowed his eyes suspiciously, making space for her to kneel beside him. He certainly didnât miss much, and it was not like she could lie and say she was leering at her old copy of The Farmerâs Almanac.Â
âYour ear, the left one,â Y/N mumbled, heat burning her cheeks as she pawed through the chest to find a proper book to give him. Namjoon made a small noise of surprise, hands stilling in the process of turning pages of a moon ritual book. Teasingly, she cocked her head at him. âWere you expecting me to lie?â
âUh, yeah. Actually,â Namjoon went back to flipping through the book absently, occasionally peering at her from the corner of his eye. Y/N spotted the thick leather bound book of spirits that she had been searching for, leaning into the chest to retrieve it for the wolf hybrid.Â
âMay I ask what happened to it? You donât have to tell me if you donât want to, Iâm just curious,â Y/N offered Namjoon the book, his body stiffening as he took it cautiously. Y/N went back to nonchalantly searching through the trunk for some fabric pouches to make the protective charms.Â
âIt was a long time ago, there was a fight I was involved in. You donât have to worry about it,â Namjoon finally spoke in a soft voice, his eyes far away.Â
Shocked that Namjoon had actually answered her, Y/N composed her face into a neutral expression, though she was puzzled by the cryptic response he offered. Namjoon fell quiet, stacking a few books beside him, which Y/N was assuming heâd take back to his room. She had gathered all of her materials for the charms, shoving them into a small wicker basket she found inside of the trunk holding several types of twine.Â
âIâll drag this into your room for you, then Iâm going to try and figure out what that thing was. Hopefully one of these books has a clue,â Namjoon announced, getting to his feet with the books tucked under his arm.Â
With the basket in the crook of her elbow, Y/N peered up at the wolf hybrid prepared to tell him not to bother with the trunk, blinking dumbly at the sight of his outstretched hand offering to help her to her feet. Her hand moved before her brain could protest, sliding against the roughened skin of Namjoonâs palm, his long fingers wrapping around the entirety of her own hand. Surprisingly, Namjoonâs touch was tender and gentle, pulling her up slowly with care. Once she was stable and upright, Namjoon released her hand, tearing his eyes from hers as she stuttered out a âthank youâ.Â
âGo get something to eat. You need to regain your strength,â Namjoon murmured, crouching to grasp a handle of the trunk, already beginning to drag it down the hallway towards her room. Opening her mouth to protest, he shot her a disapproving look from over his shoulder, using his other hand to point to the kitchen sternly. Clamming up, Y/N felt her legs move on their own accord towards the kitchen, suddenly having no intention of disobeying Namjoon after all of that.Â
âMiss Y/N, are you feeling a little better? Howâs your head?â Jiminâs voice, on the raspier side with sleepiness, snapped her out of her daze as she made her way into the sunny kitchen.
Her eyes widened as he, Seokjin, and Taehyung sped into her personal space at lightning speed, each with varying expressions of thinly veiled worry. Embarrassed, especially at the sensation of Jimin brushing hair off her forehead to look at her wound, thumb tracing around the bruised skin with a featherlight touch, Y/Nâs eyelids fluttered. Breathing stuttered, she wished that Jimin would stop looking so sadâ jolting at the feeling of Seokjinâs tail winding around the back of her thigh as he watched Jimin inspect the cut on her forehead.Â
âI feel much better, you guys! And donât worryââ Y/N started, grasping Jiminâs hand softly to remove it from her face, squeezing it softly for reassurance, âIâll heal in a flash, because someone tended to the cut so well.â
Y/N was surprised at how seemingly attached most of them had become to her in such a short period of time, seeking out comfort in her touch and proximity, worrying over her well being. When she had first made the adoptions, she had predicted it would be weeks before theyâd speak to her, let alone touch her in any way; but perhaps she had underestimated their need for someone who actually cared about them, many for the first time. Y/N knew that hybrids, by nature, were often affectionate and became almost devotional to their adoptive human, however, she figured that dog and perhaps cat hybrids were more likely to display that kind of behavior. For some reason, because her hybrids were spliced with undomesticated animal DNA, she came to the previous conclusion that theyâd be a bit more standoffish; though apparently she was wrong. The more she thought about it with her prior experience treating exotic animals, many of them did, indeed, form close bonds with humans. How were her hybrids any different?
Taehyung, to her left with his lip bitten raw, didnât seem entirely convinced by her words of reassurance, pulling the basket from the crook of her elbow into his arms as if carrying the three-pound load would send her to the floor again. Brightening up the best she could while shaking off her internal monologue, she guided Taehyung over to the island to put down the basket with her hand on his back, deciding she could just get to work on the charms there so the hybrids would be put at ease by her presence in the communal space.Â
Taehyung grew stiff at her touch at first, swiftly relaxing once she smoothed her palm towards his shoulder blade. Both him and Jimin sat on either side of her at the island, Y/N meekly waving hello to Yoongi over by the stove, who was uncharacteristically quiet. He had found her old waffle iron in the pantry, standing over it silently as he waited for a waffle to cook with a bowl full of sugared strawberries in one of his arms.Â
âWhatâs all of that?â Seokjin mused while scanning the strange contents of the basket, leaning over the island from the sink, nonchalantly sliding a goblet of water in front of Y/N. Unpacking items one by one, Taehyung picking up the jar of black salt she placed down to examine, Y/N was unable to contain the giddy smile that had forced its way to her face. She was actually excited to be getting back into the craft?
âHerbs, mostly, some salt. Iâm making some protective pouches for everyone to carry around. I want to prevent something like last night from happening again,â Y/N replied, counting out eight little velvet drawstring bags in front of her, striking a match to light a tealight as she spoke, tone suddenly becoming serious. âI also want to apologize. I should have been honest with you all from the beginning, with the haunting. When I was a kid living here, I dabbled in stuff I didnât understand, and probably attracted whatever that was to the property.â
The room was quiet, waiting for her to continue, Y/N concentrating on using the flame from the candle to light a small stick of incense to cleanse the spell ingredients. Mostly, to avoid eye contact with any of them, as cowardly as that was. Setting the burning stick on a small clay stand, she sighed, gathering her thoughts before speaking again.Â
âThe other night, with the âspiderâ?â Y/N made air quotes, catching Yoongiâs ears perked up from where his back was turned to her, arranging waffles on a plate. âI saw the entity that I first accidentally summoned as a teenager. It was lurking in my bathroom, and Iâve never seen it so clearly before. What I should have done, instead of lying about a stupid spider, was come clean and try to get rid of it with the knowledge I have now, after years of studying the craft⊠I guess I was worried youâd all think I was nuts or scare you away. But thatâs besides the pointâ last night didnât have to happen. I could have protected you all, myself, had I not been so stubborn about trying to turn my back on my past and my mistakes.â
Y/N heard her voice begin to shake; the more she spoke the more she realized that she was entirely to blame for the whole situation. The reason, the true reason she had packed up her candles and spell books was not to pursue a ânormalâ life as a veterinarian, but to try and escape the mistakes she had made as a teenager attempting to do magic she was not ready to perform. In consequence, she attracted something malevolent to the land, to her, that had followed her around on and off for years. Subconsciously, she must have thought that by simply abandoning her craft, the entity would lose interest in her, therefore freeing her of any more frightening incidents within the home. Unfortunately for her, that wasnât how it worked, and the life-changing event of adopting the hybrids may have triggered a possessive response in the entity. Angered with herself, she tried her best to stay centered so she could carry out the protective spells successfully, though the realization that she had made things so much worse by pretending to be oblivious was painfully sobering.Â
Her pity party was interrupted by Yoongi, placing a gravy boat of maple syrup and a plate of waffles in front of her, smothered with butter, whipped cream, and the sugared strawberries. Jimin, gingerly, moved some of her bottles of herbs and the items that were burning away from her, leaning across the island to pluck a knife and fork off of a place setting Yoongi had assembled and handed it to her, his eyes full of some kind of hard-to-read emotion.Â
âWow, uh, thank you, YoongiâŠâ Y/N sniffed, feeling extremely awkward that the hybrids hadnât said anything in response to her lengthy speech. She supposed, with her deceit in the first place, she didnât necessarily deserve an answer. âSmells yummy.â
âEat up, youâll feel better,â Yoongi sighed, returning to the sink, divvying up the large stack of waffles heâd made between the other plates heâd laid out for the others waiting for breakfast. âItâs not like you planned last night on purpose. Some of us have never witnessed anything like that, so I guess the possibility of being written off as ânutsâ wasnât a baseless assumption had we not all seen it happen.â
Considering Yoongiâs reply, she appreciated the way that he validated her previous anxieties without totally dismissing her share of the blame. Y/N was aware that he was likely skirting around his clear disappointment in her lack of transparency about the night she had spotted the apparition in her bathroom, considering the leopard hybrid had been able to see through her lie most obviously at the time. Aware of being inspected from all angles, Y/N picked up her fork and hastily tossed a strawberry into her mouth, the juicy fruit melting on her taste buds sinfully. Â
âI think Hoseok was the most⊠disturbed, during the whole thing. You know, Y/N, how animals can see or sense things that humans canât?â Seokjin suddenly volunteered, distractedly pushing a sliced piece of waffle around on the plate Yoongi had offered him. Nodding, Y/N chewed on another strawberry, knowing that Yoongi was keeping an eye on her.
 âAnimals can often see what humans call âspiritsâ or âghostsâ, whatever you might name themâ us hybrids can see them as animals do. It wasnât my first time seeing something similar to that, but Iâm certain Hoseok hasnât. Thatâs why heâs been acting strange, I think,â Seokjin continued, Y/N hanging off of every word.Â
Y/N, who had heard Hoseok in the kitchen while she was in the foyer with Namjoon, suddenly wondered where he had gone. After he had left her bedroom earlier, Hoseok was definitely still a bit shaken up, though less so after the hug, but he didnât seem like the type to hide from her. In fact, it came as a great surprise to her that he wasnât in the kitchen when she got there, unless he had snuck through the entrance to the kitchen from the parlor to escape the very conversation she and the others were having at that moment.
âFoxy is about as open minded towards the occult as your average math major. Still, he wouldnât have laughed at you if you told him what you thought was going on,â Yoongi added matter-of-factly, setting a plate in front of Taehyung while shooting a pointed look at Y/N.Â
âYouâre right, Yoongi. I shouldnât have let the fear of being judgedâ which is meaningless to begin withâ get in the way of just being honest⊠And no, I didnât make that connection, Seokjin. Truthfully, there is a lot I still have to learn about hybrids, Iâm just thankful youâre all giving me the grace to learn as I go,â Y/N admitted, pushing her half-eaten waffle away so she could cleanse spell items with the incense before it went out, her stomach queasy with guilt.Â
Beside her, Jimin exhaled slowly, reaching out with his left hand to rest on her shoulder. As he squeezed her shoulder with encouragement, Y/N peered at the coyote hybrid solemnly, his eyes soft and lips upturned in a gentle smile. Relaxing a degree, Y/N melted into Jiminâs solid grip, feeling like a lifeline. While slowly munching on another piece of waffle, Yoongi pushing the plate back in front of her with a frown, Jiminâs fingertips drummed a melody on her shoulder soothingly, though doing little to prevent her from flinching when the slider door to the patio scraped open.Â
âJinnie, can you toss me that bottle of water I left in the fridge?â Came Hoseokâs voice, bringing the scent of the outside with him. Breathing labored, Hoseok caught the frosty bottle Seokjin sent sailing in the air with a cackle, beads of sweat rolling down his neck and temples. Shaking his head, Jimin withdrew his hand from Y/Nâs shoulder, moving to the coffee bar for a fill-up.Â
âHow was the run?â Seokjin asked, appearing grateful for the fox hybridâs interruption of the conversation. Hoseok had gone on a run after staying up all night? The thought made Y/N simultaneously jealous of the hybridâs seemingly endless energy and worried that he was going to collapse from exhaustion at any second.Â
âNice. Almost got lost, thereâs a lot of land. Hey, Jiminie, did you know thereâs an old stable way in the back?â Hoseok slapped the coyote hybrid on the back harshly, Jimin yelping and spilling hot coffee on the counter.Â
âJ-Jiminie? Wait, what? Did you say stable?â Jimin stuttered, his features lit up with bewilderment. Jimin definitely displayed his emotions on his face clearly, whether he was aware of that or not, Y/N didnât know.Â
âYeah, a stable. You know, for horses?â Hoseok teased before greedily gulping down some water from his bottle. Y/N felt her eyes glaze over as she noticed some of the water escaping from his lips and sliding down the sharp angle of his jaw, rolling down his throat and into the material of his tee-shirt.Â
âOf course I know,â Jimin scoffed, using a cocktail napkin to wipe up the spilled coffee. âMiss Y/N, you have a stable? Did you have horses as a girl?â Jimin inquired with an edge of excitement in his tone.Â
Smiling bittersweetly as she spooned some black salt into the pouches one by one, Y/N shook her head with minor regret, Jiminâs ears flickering with curiosity.Â
âThereâs a stable, but there haven't been horses in a long time. At least not since before I was born, my grandmother used to ride, but as she got older she wasnât able to anymore. Itâs fallen into a bit of disrepair, Iâd love to start fixing it up as soon as Iâm done with the rest of the house⊠maybe some of my neighbors or folks around town could use it to board their horses closer to home,â Y/N speculated distractedly, plunking shards of clear quartz in each pouch she was working on.Â
Taehyung had scooched closer to her, watching her create the charm bags with rapt fascination. Jimin appeared to be trying to locate the stable from the slider door, even though trees and hedges were totally obstructing it. She made a mental note to ask him to join her on a walk of the grounds later, like she had been intending to do for days. A piece of quartz slipped out of her fingers, clattering onto the counter, Taehyung swiftly plucking it up for her and dropping it into the pouch she was holding. Shooting him a sweet smile in thanks, she nearly fell off of her stool as he returned the smile, his face splitting into a pretty grin. Y/N had never seen him smile with his teeth, the gesture completely changing his gorgeous face into the purest expression she had ever seen on the Kodiak hybrid. Feeling herself grow hot in the face, she resumed her task, even when Taehyung took up the responsibility of placing the crystal shards into the pouches all by himself.Â
âSo, this is witchcraft?â Yoongi suddenly leaned across the island, removing her plate from in front of her, an eyebrow cocked as he watched Taehyung take a bag of lavender buds Y/N handed to him to sprinkle in the pouches. She figured if he wanted to help, there was no reason to refuse him, as he screwed up his face in concentration to sprinkle the lavender into the pouches as evenly as he could.
âYeah, protective magic. Were you expecting chanting and Ouija boards?â Y/N chuckled, determined to keep things light after the heaviness of her apology had dispersed with Hoseokâs arrival in the kitchen.Â
Yoongi smirked inches away from her face, collecting cream on her plate with his pointer finger, and booping her on the nose with it. Squeaking at the action with great surprise, Y/N used the napkin on her lap to remove the cream from her face, hearing Seokjinâs snickering from across the room.Â
âSilly girl,â Yoongi shook his head, rinsing her dish in the sink with a smile. Reeling, she hardly registered Taehyung, nudging her shoulder with his own, softly asking her what went in the pouches next. Absently, she placed some dried rosemary leaves in his wide palm, sprinkling a few leaves in the pouch she was holding herself.Â
As she and Taehyung worked on the pouches together, Seokjin, with half a waffle sticking out of his mouth, assisted Yoongi with the clean-up of the kitchen. Hoseok had bid them all a cheerful adieu to shower, followed by Jimin who mentioned wanting to test out the sauna. Y/N, enviously, wished that she could relax in the sauna for a half hour, but felt odd about joining the coyote hybrid. The thought of sitting in just a towel beside a very similarly bare Jimin sent a shiver rolling down her spine.Â
As Yoongi turned his back on Y/N, scrubbing a stubborn grease stain on the stove, Y/N snuck a peak at his form, pleased that he already seemed to have filled out a little since she brought him home. Oddly enough, from behind, the slopes of his shoulders, feathering of his hair, and curve to his ears struck her as extremely familiar again, only if for a moment. She wondered if there was any chance Y/N had ever crossed paths with Yoongi before; if not at the bar she had no memory of ever patroning, but perhaps in the busy streets of Boston, maybe at a grocery store or something. She was positive she would have remembered someone as lovely as Yoongi, especially with his unique spotted ears and tail, but she couldnât shake the feeling that sheâd seen him before while she watched his graceful movements at the stove.Â
She was in the process of tying up the charm bags, Taehyung closely copying the knots Y/N was showing him, before taking each pouch from him and passing them through the dwindling smoke of the incense. Her thoughts suddenly drifted back to scenting, as Taehyungâs shoulder pressed into herâsâ he was becoming increasingly clingy. On her other side, Seokjin had taken Jiminâs previous spot, picking lint off of Y/Nâs shirt sleeve placidly, his fingers occasionally brushing the skin of her bicep making her shiver involuntarily.Â
As she had read in the article, hybrids prior to scenting would seek out ways to get physically close to their adoptive humans, though would continue to grow uncomfortable if they do not scent them promptly. In fact, the more the hybrids sought out touch, the more the discomfort grew for them, which is what concerned Y/N. Between the paranormal incident and the fact that none of them had even brought up the scenting, her hybrids definitely were pretty good at handling discomfort, as much as she wished they wouldnât suffer in silence, if they were. Y/N had the feeling they were reluctant to spook her considering she had admitted there was a lot she didnât know about hybrids, but it wasnât like they could put it off forever.Â
âHey, Yoongi, remember the other night when we were talking about my, uh⊠lack of knowledge when it comes to hybrids?â Y/N began nervously, glad that only the four of them were in the kitchen, and Jeongguk wasnât there to make faces at her. Yoongi hummed, cocking his head at her to continue. âCan I ask you a question?âÂ
âGo ahead,â Yoongi encouraged slowly, seeming to have no idea what was coming his way. Taking a deep breath, she set the final tied pouch down on the counter.Â
âYou mentioned âscentingâ. I looked it up yesterday because I didnât know what it was. So I guess my question is, when should I expect that to, um, happen?â Y/N bit the bullet, looking Yoongi square in the eye.Â
The leopard hybridâs mouth dropped open, apparently not expecting that turn in the conversation, freezing his movements wiping down the counter. Seokjinâs hand had stilled in picking the lint off of her shirt, and Taehyung had gone ramrod stiff beside her, eyes wide as he stared at Yoongi in equal shock. Attempting to cover up his surprise with a cough, Yoongi ran a hand through his hair, appearing to be trying to choose his words carefully.Â
âShit, uh, wow. I forgot I evenâ I mean, sorry. Iââ Yoongi stuttered, exhaling slowly and tossing the rag he was using into the sink in frustration. Seokjinâs hand dropped from her arm, looking out the window to hide the flustered pink blush over his cheeks. Quickly, Y/N tried to clarify her reason for catching them so off guard.Â
âWell, I really just brought it up because the article I read said that hybrids can start to get sick if they donât scent, and Iâm just worried, thatâs all. I donât want you guys to be in pain or uncomfortable at all,â Y/N jut her lower lip out, knowing that far too many of them had experienced enough pain to last a lifetime, and would not allow more if she could prevent it.Â
âI mean, yeah, thatâs right. I guess I wasnât expecting you to justâŠâ Yoongi began, cutting himself off with a sharp laugh, covering his mouth. âI canât speak for the others, but Iâll certainly let you know before it happens. Iâm not just going to attack you or anything. Youâre sweet for worrying, though.â
Taehyung put his head down on the counter, his back shaking with what Y/N assumed was laughter.Â
âOf course Iâm going to worry. Iâm supposed to take care of you all now, I want to do a good job,â Y/N whined, feeling like Yoongi had turned his embarrassment onto her, the crafty bastard. Seokjin, from next to her, made a choking sound in the back of his throat, burning a hole in the side of her face with his wide-eyed sunset stare.Â
âSheesh. Donât get mushy,â Yoongi groaned, able to return to his counter wiping task. Tsking at the leopard hybrid, Y/N gave Taehyung a pat on the back, muttering an apology as his spine pretty much arched into her palm. Sheepishly, he lifted his head with a subtle flutter to one of his ears, slowly accepting one of the finished pouches they made togetherâ the midnight blue one.Â
Sliding off of her barstool, Y/N delivered a pastel pink pouch to Seokjin, who was still gawking at her unabashedly. He cradled the pouch in a cupped hand, mouth dropped open like he wanted to say something.Â
âOkay, just so weâre clear, youâll seek me out before you feel any pain?â Y/N confirmed, siding up next to Yoongi and nudging him with her hip playfully. Yoongi gripped the countertop he was holding onto tightly, shooting her a disbelieving look, nodding as she offered him his charm bag. Taking it from her, Yoongi tucked it safely into the pocket of his linen pants.Â
âYou two will do the same?â Y/N spun on her heel, eyeing Seokjinâs stiff posture and the way Taehyung avoided meeting her gaze. âAs soon as you feel discomfort, I want you to come find me.â
âO-okay,â Seokjin murmured, fiddling with the strings on his pouch nervously. Taehyung offered her a weak thumbs-up, staring at Yoongi with widened eyes. Thinking she had done enough to assure them of her seriousness surrounding the topic, Y/N swung the five remaining pouches around in her fist lightly, ready to drop them off to the remaining hybrids and place her own somewhere safe.Â
âIâm going to ferry these to the others! Iâll see you all in a bit, yeah?â Y/N called over her shoulder, smirking as she realized Seokjin and Taehyung were so shocked they forgot to shadow her all over the house, rooted to their seats.Â
Humming a tune, Y/N skipped to her bedroom, carefully placing her own protection pouch on her vanity that she decided would eventually serve as her altar, once she cleared away some old perfume vials and dusty books. Ruffling her hair in the tarnished silver mirror, she giggled softly, vaguely delighted she was able to fluster the hybrids in the same way they had been doing to her since they started living with her. She knew it was perhaps a little petty for her to be enjoying the looks of total shock that blossomed over each of their faces; Yoongiâs fumbling for words, Taehyung dissolving into nervous laughter. In a way, though, it was thrillingâ maybe she hadnât totally lost her game. Further, she knew that the other hybrids elsewhere in the house could hear the conversationâ so she didnât have to worry about repeating herself. Instead, she could enjoy seeking them out momentarily, and watching them try to pretend they didnât eavesdrop.Â
In the mirror, a sparkly red glint reflected by the sun coming from the window washed over her face, Y/N spotted the source of the light by her nightstand. The ruby beads of Jeonggukâs rosary, still sitting in the spot she left it last. Jeongguk had been napping for about four hours, and Y/N wondered if heâd be up any time soon. She supposed she could simply walk upstairs and listen for any sign of life. She knew Hoseok and Jimin were likely still bathing, the pipes bringing water to the basement humming beneath her feet, and something told her Namjoon wouldnât be keen on being disturbed quite yet.Â
Shrugging, she scooped up the rosary, making her way to the staircase towards Jeonggukâs room. As she ascended the stairs, Y/N frowned at the state of the half-stripped wood, vowing to herself to finish up the job after she handed out all of the pouches. Restoring the house completely had never been more important to her, wanting it to be totally comfortable and fresh for the hybrids to relax in.Â
Heaving herself up the last step, Y/N passed by Seokjin and Taehyungâs rooms, as well as the dimly lit music room that she curiously peered into. The piano had been wiped clean of dust, the record player dragged out from its wooden tomb and neatly placed on a stray antique table with vinyls strewn about the vicinity. Tracing her fingertips along the fraying wallpaper of the hallway, she followed the familiar path to one of the old tower rooms Jeongguk claimed as his own.Â
To her surprise, Jeonggukâs door was left mostly ajar. Stopping dead in her tracks, Y/N listened for any sign of movement within his room, only hearing the gentle rustling of curtains from the window he had left open. Curiosity got the better of her as she peered into the room as best she could, inching into the very threshold of the room.Â
The elk hybrid was in bed, comforter messily thrown over his lean form as he lay on his back, an arm thrown above his head. He was asleep, from what Y/N could tell, as he didnât immediately curse her out of the room; his eyelashes resting gently against his high cheekbones, chest rising and falling slowly with rest. Unable to get a proper look at Jeongguk prior to that moment without him distancing himself from her, Y/N realized that Jeongguk also had a small set of tapered furry ears beneath his antlers. Chalking it up to the fact that the antlers were so strikingly show-stopping to begin with to even notice his ears, Y/N basked in the opportunity to really get a good look at the elk hybrid.
 It was astonishing just how angelic Jeongguk appeared while he was asleep. Y/N traced the inky lines of the tattoos along his bare forearm through the cracked door with her eyes, only feeling a little bit creepy as she stared at him while inching her way to his nightstand. Her plan was to simply leave the rosary and pouch beside Jeongguk for when he woke up, slipping from the room undetected.Â
As silently as she could, she laid the rosary on top of his leatherbound notebook, selecting the maroon pouch she made to nestle beside it. She stole another look at Jeongguk, his hair swept off of his forehead, the labret threaded through his eyebrow perfectly visible without his bangs obscuring it. Biting her lip, wishing she could sincerely thank him for everything he had done the night before, Y/N began to tip-toe her way out of his room. Her breath caught in her throat, the sound choked, as a powerful hand gripped her wrist before she could remove herself from Jeonggukâs bedside. Whipping her head around, she was met with Jeongguk blearily blinking up at her, his fingers overlapping on themselves as they wrapped around Y/Nâs wrist.Â
âWhat are you doing?â Jeonggukâs sleep-riddled demand shot through her like a lightning bolt, temporarily forgetting he was restricting the blood flow in her left hand. Cringing that she had foolishly invaded his personal space so recklessly, Y/N began to sweat.Â
âFuck. Iâm sorryâ I wanted to return your rosary! And I made a protection charm, too, just wanted to drop it off⊠Iâm so sorry I woke you,â Y/N exclaimed, feeling his grip relax at the sound of her voice, the blood rushing to her fingertips with a tingle. Humiliation flushed through her as he released her wrist, his eyes traveling her form from head to toe.Â
âA charm bag?â Jeongguk clarified groggily, sitting up with great effort, âJudas priestâ do you have Tylenol?â The elk hybrid pressed two fingers to his right temple, eyes squeezing shut. Y/N, her mouth hanging open, tried to ignore the way he bit at the silver hoop encircling his lip.Â
âU-uh, yes! Tylenol? Iâll get that for you right now, hold on,â Y/N stumbled over her words, mentally locating the medical kit she had stowed away in the broom closet under the grand staircase.Â
Again, before she could move, she was stopped, this time by the elk hybrid grasping the hem of her tee shirt making her stumble backwards. She toppled onto his bed, her ass making contact with the mattress as she let out a surprised oof.Â
âForget it. Iâll come down for some later, need to shower,â Jeongguk yawned, letting go of the fabric of Y/Nâs shirt. Y/N wondered if he was delirious, tugging her down onto his bed and exchanging so many words with her, staring at Jeonggukâs sleepy face with bewilderment. âAbout that charm bagâŠâ
âO-oh! Yeah, I just made it, Taehyung helped a little, too. If you keep it on you or in your space it should do a good job of warding away bad spirits,â Y/N explained, wanting to distance herself from Jeonggukâs proximity, able to make out some foreign words tattooed around his bicep.Â
âHm. Hope you made one for yourself,â Jeongguk muttered, pushing his quilt off of his legs. Scoffing, Y/N scrambled off of his bed with a scowl, ready to ditch him in favor of finding Hoseok.Â
Chuckling at the look on her face, Jeongguk stood, stretching his arms over his head languidly. He was quite disheveled, his tee shirt crumpled and hair sticking up in several directions. Rounding the bed towards his bathroom, he shook his head at her with minor amusement, Y/N blanching as she realized his bottom half was only clad in a pair of boxers. She had to get out of that room, she concluded, making her way to the door as fast as possible.Â
âUm, I gotta go give the rest of these out! Um, just find me later for the Tylenol!â Y/N called out, voice strained.Â
Jeongguk, from his bathroom, grunted in acknowledgement, Y/N catching the reflection of his back in the full-length mirror as he pulled off his shirt while turning the shower onâ a large tattoo covered most of the skin. Feeling like she saw entirely too much of the elk hybridâs body, Y/N sped out of the room with her heart hammering around in her chest.Â
Fumbling with the pouches in her hand, Y/N raced down the stairs to shake off whatever the hell had just happened. She couldnât believe Jeongguk had just strolled past her with a smirk on his face in nothing but a flimsy tee shirt and boxers, not even waiting for her to leave the room before stripping for his shower. Spluttering as she nearly tumbled down the last step, Y/N attempted to compose herself, not wanting to appear scandalized; God forbid one of the others were traipsing through the hall at the same time.Â
Y/N had an inkling Jeongguk had heard her discussing scenting with the three in the kitchen, the only logical conclusion she could come up with explaining his sudden cheeky behavior. Starting to get the feeling that she wasnât entirely prepared to get bitten by any of them, Y/N fanned herself on her way down to the basement.Â
A fast-paced pop song pulsed through the speakers as Y/N reached the bottom of the stairs, furrowing her eyebrows in preparation for what she was about to witnessâ walking in on Hoseok working out would set her straight over the edge. Nervously, she rounded the corner, holding the remaining pouches behind her back and praying they could somehow protect her from the hybrids affecting her nerves.Â
From where she was standing, she could get the entire view of the gym area with additional help from the large mirror covering one of the walls, a few stray dumbbells lying around and Hoseokâs bottle of water from earlier sitting on the weight bench. On the floor, sitting on a yoga mat cross-legged with his back turned to her, was Hoseok with his eyes shut. Knowing that Hoseok was aware of her presence, Y/N bravely stepped into the room, relieved he was fully clothed.Â
âWhatcha doing?â Y/N perched herself on the seat of the stationary bike, grinning at the way Hoseokâs tail swished on the floor at the sound of her voice. Snorting, the fox hybrid cracked one eye open to glance at her sideways.Â
âMeditating, or attempting to until I heard you coming down,â Hoseok replied, extending his legs into a straddle and melting his torso down to stretch his back and hips.Â
âSorry to interrupt,â Y/N chuckled, glad that he seemed to be faring better compared to earlier in the morning. âI didnât know one could meditate to Lady Gaga.â
She felt like testing just how good Hoseokâs hearing was, tossing the purple pouch she selected for him in the air and catching it in her palm, watching one of his ears flutter as he continued to stretch his arms forward with his head down. Giggling, Y/N tossed it again, this time sending it sailing towards Hoseok, her laughter cut short as his hand flung out instantly to easily catch the pouch before it could hit him in the head.Â
âHey, are you messing with me?â Hoseok whined, sitting up straight and pouting at her. Curiously, he turned over the pouch in his hand, even giving it a little sniff as he raised it to his face.Â
âOnly a little,â Y/N sighed happily, before explaining to him what the pouch was. If Hoseok thought the concept of the protection charm was silly, which Y/N half expected him to, it didnât show on his face.Â
âSo, what are your plans for the rest of the day?â Hoseok asked, lazily stretching his arms upwards as he stood, fumbling for his water bottle. âI might join Jimin in the sauna. Heâs been in there forever, hopefully he hasn't passed out or anything.â
âChrist, heâs still in there? Shouldnât we check on him?â Y/N jumped from her seat, alarmed. Hoseok waved her off, making his way towards the ajar pocket door of his room with a grimace.Â
âHeâs fine. I heard him go in and out a few times, heâs probably enjoying himself. Doubt he had a sauna when he was a cowboy,â Hoseok sang, sending her a wink. âIâm gonna change and head in there myself.âÂ
With that, Hoseok shut his door, the sound of his dresser opening and closing. Even with Hoseok brushing off her concern, Y/N found the worry that Jimin had passed out in the heat was still festering within her. Feet moving before she could process it, Y/N pushed the door to the large bathroom open, steamy air from the shower smacking her in the face. The bath and shower stall were empty, as well as the rest of the bathroom area, the sauna door shut tight.Â
âJimin?â Y/N squeaked, not necessarily wanting to barge in on him if he was perfectly okay. Y/N swore she could hear Hoseokâs laughter from his room, but shook it off as her imagination.Â
With no answer, she crept further into the bathroom, the counters littered with Hoseokâs products from the drugstore. The mirror was fogged up, and checking the temperature dial on next to the sauna door, Y/N found that Jimin had really hiked it up. Panicking, she grasped the handle of the door with a gasp.Â
âJiââ Y/N began to exclaim, the door swinging open with a gust of hot air before she could finish. Stumbling backwards at the rush of heat clinging to her skin and clothes, she yelped, noticing a perfectly conscious Jimin standing in the doorway with a cocked brow.Â
âYou rang, Miss Y/N?â Jimin, his voice sounding relaxed, hands adjusting the towel tied around his waist.Â
Wanting to die at the sight of Jiminâs very bare chest, the skin glistening with condensation and muscles corded and lean, she found her words were stuck in her throat. Hoseok, from the other room, was definitely laughing at her now, the sound like an annoying buzzing fly in her ear in the midst of her humiliation.Â
âOh my God! Iâm sorry, I thought you passed out in here or something!â Y/N rushed out, resisting the urge to cover her eyes with a hand and bolt. Jiminâs honeyed hair was slicked back, a few strands sticking to the sculpted side of his face, a rough chuckle coming from him as he processed her reaction.Â
âJimin, she has something for you,â Hoseok appeared in the doorway with a cat-ate-the-canary grin, in a similar state of undress. Feeling the walls close in on her as both half-naked hybrids stared at her expectantly, Y/N had no doubt they could hear her heart trying to break free from her ribcage. âDonât you, darling?â
âHoseok, please,â Y/N scolded, somewhat patronized but mostly turning to mush. âHere, Jimin. This oneâs for you,â keeping her hand steady, Y/N passed one of the remaining charm bags, the fuschia one, to the coyote hybrid.
One strong hand on his towel, the other extended, Jimin took the pouch cautiously, his yellow eyes flashing from her to Hoseok. The fox hybrid began to whistle, brushing past Y/N to head into the sauna, giving Jimin a pat on his shoulder. Overwhelmed, Y/N felt out of place all at once, Hoseokâs bare lean back disappearing from her view as he settled on one of the benches in the sauna.Â
âThis is your protection âcharmâ Iâve been hearing about?â Jimin inquired, leaning his hip against the sink vanity as he shook the bag gently. A drop of sweat rolled down from the nape of his neck to pool in the dip of his collarbone, Y/Nâs mouth drying up at the sight of it.
âIt is. I better get used to that excellent hearing you all have⊠pretty soon thereâll be no secrets in this house!â Y/N nervously joked, averting her eyes from Jiminâs body before she combusted. Again, Jimin throatily chuckled, wiping the dewy skin of his forehead with his free hand.Â
âIsnât that a good thing? Secrets can be hard to keep track of,â Jimin mused, finding a clean towel to wipe down his damp skin with a wry grin. âThank you, by the way, Miss Y/N.â
âO-oh. Donât thank me, I meanâ you heard me, I suppose. Itâs my job to protect you all, now,â Y/N watched Jimin make his way to the shower, a neatly folded pile of his clothes beside it. She wondered if now would be a good time to escape, and catch a few moments to collect herself.Â
âMm-hmm, I heardâŠâ Jimin responded distractedly, frowning at the pile of crumpled towels on the floor Hoseok likely left there. âThough respectfully, Miss Y/N, you did adopt several predatory male hybrids. I think weâre better suited to protect,â Jimin scratched his chin, turning the dial of the shower on.Â
Y/N knew Jimin, ever the polite gentleman, didnât mean the comment as a confrontational statement, but she grumbled nonetheless. Balling her hands into fists, she stood her ground.Â
âOkay, fair. That doesnât mean I canât try to do the same,â Y/N insisted, realizing that Jimin also had a tattoo across the left side of his ribcage, too dazzled to notice it earlier. It was script; reading Nevermind. âNot to change the subject, but I wanted to ask you something. Iâve been meaning to take you all on a walk around the grounds, and I think it would be nice to do that later. Would you be up for that? Iâll take you to check out the old stable.âÂ
âIâd like that. Iâll freshen up and find you later, how does that sound?â Jimin grinned, Y/N elated that she could finally make good on a promise she had made ages ago. Feeling like it was the perfect time to take her leave, Y/N headed for the door.Â
âWonderful! Thanks, Jimin!â Y/N called, although unsure of what she was thanking him for. With that, she barreled up the stairs, ready to take her frustration out on stripping the rest of the staircase.Â
For safekeeping, Y/N slipped Namjoonâs charm bag into the pocket of her leggings, rummaging through the closet under the staircase for the scraper. Pausing, she spotted the medical kit, retrieving the bottle of Tylenol for Jeongguk and placing it on the table by Namjoonâs shut bedroom door.Â
Y/N got to work quickly, settling herself on the landing and scraping up the hideous varnish vigorously, as if to clear her mind of the scandalous images she had in her brain of Jeongguk, Jimin and Hoseok she had haunting her inner eye. Wondering where her portable speaker had ended up, Y/N settled for humming to herself, wishing that Yoongi was in the music room playing the piano while she worked. Losing herself in the mind-numbing task, Y/N felt herself begin to calm down from all that had happened that morning and the night before.Â
Y/N didnât see much of the hybrids until late in the afternoon just before twilight, besides Jimin, who had come up from the basement to head to his bedroom for a quick nap. She had to shoo him away, as he had offered to help strip the staircase with her, but Y/N could tell Jimin needed a good rest, his eyes nearly shut when he came up from his shower. Finally, she had completed her task with the staircase, deciding to seal everything nicely with a proper finish the following day so the entryway would look nice for the upcoming cookout.Â
Every so often, Y/N peeked at Namjoonâs door; he hadnât come out once to eat anything the entire day. A bit salty, especially considering he had all but demanded her to eat that morning, Y/N grumbled, hauling herself off the bottom step of the staircase and tossing the scraper into the closet. Gunshot sounds from the TV from the parlor made her jumpâ Yoongi, Seokjin, and Taehyung had been in there for a good portion of the day watching action movies. Judging from the dialogue, it seemed that they had gotten their hands on her John Wick DVD collection.Â
Creaking of the steps behind her had her spinning on her heels, pleased to see Jeongguk making his way downstairs already in his pajamas. Trying not to giggle at how cuddly he looked, his hair fluffy from his shower, Y/N smiled brightly at the elk hybrid. Regarding her suspiciously, He leaned his hip against the banister before descending the last two steps.Â
âWhat?â Jeongguk demanded, although not rudely. Grasping the bottle of Tylenol, Y/N passed it his way, grinning further as he caught it without hesitation. With furrowed brows, he examined the bottle, realization dawned on him.Â
âOh shit, I forgot I asked for these⊠I was just going to have a stiff drink instead,â Jeongguk admitted, unscrewing the top and tossing two capsules into his mouth. Grimacing as he swallowed them dry, Y/N winced, knowing there was no way she could ever swallow capsules like that without any water to chase them down.Â
âWhatâs for dinner?â Jeongguk asked, once Y/N tucked the bottle of pills back into the medical kit. Flinching at the sound of his voice so close to her, Y/N sighed, not exactly sure what to make at all.Â
âGood question. Anything you want in particular?â Y/N retorted, hoping he wouldnât detect her obvious deflection towards making a decision. Jeongguk appeared startled by the question, his features settling quickly into contemplation.Â
âPizza?â Jeongguk volunteered, Y/N rejoicing in the fact that he selected something she could have delivered. Nodding fervently, Y/N was rewarded with the tiniest half-smile from the elk hybrid.Â
âMiss Y/N,â Jimin appeared from behind Jeonggukâs shoulder, looking much more revived in energy after his nap. Rolling his eyes, Jeongguk stepped to the side. âShould we go for that walk before it gets dark?â
âJimin, when are you going to drop âMissâ from your vocabulary? You sound like a butler,â Jeongguk complained, an insulted expression shadowing Jiminâs face immediately. Without thinking, Y/N lightly swatted Jeonggukâs forearm, the elk hybrid swearing and staring at her with utter shock.Â
âKnock it off, heâs fine,â Y/N scolded, eyeing Jeongguk reproachfully. âWe can go now! Jeongguk, why donât you come with us? You can do your perimeter walk or whatever it is you like to do out there.â
âPerimeter walk?â Jeongguk enunciated, Y/N enjoying the shock coloring his handsome features. âUnbelievable,â he breathed, frowning at Jiminâs soft snickering from behind him.Â
âHow about you two wait for me on the patio for a moment. Iâd like to invite Namjoon, too. Itâs been a while since Iâve seen him last,â Y/N gestured towards the kitchen, watching the two hybrids go, Jeongguk muttering about having a smoke. Y/N had half a mind to buy him a box of nicotine gum.Â
Steeling herself, Y/N marched to Namjoonâs door, knocking softly. She knew that Namjoon had been aware of her presence in the hallway, subjected to her incessant humming for the past few hours.Â
âCome in,â came Namjoonâs muffled gruff voice through the door, Y/N pushing her way in awkwardly. He was hunched over her old desk, the little lamp on the surface illuminating his tired face and ruffled silvery hair.Â
Hesitantly moving further into the room, Y/N stood beside him, taking a look at the open book he was still scanning, hardly looking up at her. Namjoon had found some old parchment to scribble notes on with shockingly beautiful handwriting, a couple of crumpled up pages scattered around the desk.Â
âHow are your theories faring?â Y/N questioned, peering over his shoulder curiously. He had her book of spirits open, poring over a page about shadow people. Namjoon pulled a hand through his hair, sighing deeply as he craned his neck up to look at her.Â
âTheyâre crumbling. Iâm starting to think Iâll need more information about how the spirit got here, in the first place, in order to get anywhere,â Namjoon confessed, pinching the bridge of his nose delicately.Â
âI think I can fill you in, at least a little bitâŠâ Y/N answered, her guilt from earlier returning with his comment. âYouâve been cooped up in here all day. Iâm about to take a walk around the backyard with Jimin and Jeongguk, why donât you come with us? Iâll do my best to answer any questions you might have.âÂ
As usual, Namjoon searched her eyes like he was trying to find something he could dissect and understand, the amber honey color of his irises striking and oh-so-familiar to Y/N. She found it was easy to lose track of time and space locking eyes with the wolf hybrid, forgetting she was waiting for his response. Namjoon pushed the chair back so he could get to his feet, shaking out his legs.Â
âAlright, letâs go then,â Namjoon said simply, switching off the desk light. âIâve run into another dead end, anyways.â
Satisfied that Namjoon had agreed to join her, Y/N hurried to keep up with his strides towards the kitchen. Curiosity still pooled within her regarding Namjoonâs apparent experience with things surrounding the supernatural, though she still hadnât gathered the courage to ask him about it. Really, there was not much she knew about the wolf hybrid at all, even less so than all of the others, which only increased her curiosity tenfold.Â
Ushering Namjoon out to the patio, Y/N told him to wait there with the other two patiently sitting on the lounge chairs, rushing into the parlor to tap out pizza preferences on her phone with the input of those still preoccupied with the John Wick films. Luckily enough, Hoseok had snuck into the parlor while she had been in Namjoonâs bedroom, so she was able to take everyoneâs requests down without a problem.Â
âAlright, shall we?â Y/N chirped, shutting the slider door behind her, taking a deep breathful of the warm August air as she stepped outside. Jeongguk stubbed out his cigarette in the standing ashtray, still grumbling like he was when Y/N scolded him.Â
Namjoon and Jimin flanking her either side, Jeongguk trailing closely behind, Y/N followed the beaten-down grass path towards the hedges past the picnic table. While the late afternoon was beginning to cool down, it was the perfect weather to go for a nice stroll outside, crickets singing and gentle breeze rustling the leaves on the willow trees. The grounds were quite untamed, due to being neglected by both her aging grandparents and Y/N herself preoccupied with her former work schedule, but still retained a sort of magical charm the land always possessed.Â
âBy spring, Iâm hoping I can get some of this brush under control, maybe build a garden and fix up that old guesthouse and make it into some sort of fort. That way, we can all spend more time outdoors comfortably,â Y/N thought aloud, bringing the three hybrids past a maze of hedges towards the edge of the glassy pond.Â
At the edge of the pond was the âguesthouseâ, which was originally some kind of storage house in the heyday of the estate, converted by her grandparents into a three-room space for their grandchildren to spend time away from the adults during holiday get-togethers. Like the main home, it had some work that needed to be done on it, and Y/N couldnât even remember where the key had gone to gain entry to the space. As she gazed at the round structure, akin to an enclosed gazebo, she envisioned it as a place to have movie nights with the hybrids during the summer months.Â
Pausing at the pond, Y/N watched Jimin skip a rock across the mirrored surface of the water, enjoying how peaceful the backyard was. Jeongguk, as she expected, had wandered off on his own, already on the opposite side of the pond, sticking his face into one of the windows of the guesthouse.Â
âSo, about those gaps you can allegedly fill in?â Namjoon murmured, interrupting Y/N soaking up the moment. Gazing upwards, she was met with Namjoon watching Jimin with narrowed eyes, excellent at appearing nonchalant though the eager edge to his tone gave him away pretty clearly.Â
âRight. Ever the forward one, arenât you,â Y/N teased, motioning for him to follow her as she began to walk the perimeter of the pond while Namjoon rolled his eyes. âYouâre already aware that I practice witchcraft, so does my mother. You also seem to know my mother pretty well, so I can only assume youâve become familiar with how uh⊠easy-going she can be?âÂ
Namjoon made a noise of confirmation, urging her to get to the point.Â
âShe taught me most of what I know about the craft. As a child, it was whimsical, easy charms and harmless glamor magic. Of course, a child becomes an edgy teenager⊠Well, I wanted more. My mother tended to skirt around spirit work and more aggressive forms of magic, and I guess I wanted to test out what I could do as I got older and didnât think that I needed to hold her hand anymore,â Y/N brushed her fingers against the soft leaves of one of the hedges beside her, Namjoon silent while he listened.Â
âWhen I was sixteen, I came out here and performed a ritual. Honestly, I canât remember the exact ritual I conducted, but I know it was to increase psychic power for myself. The ritual required calling upon spirits, ones I had never heard of before. Doing spellwork with my mother, we often called upon angels or our own personal spirit guides, even ancestorsâ never ones that we were unfamiliar with. I guess it was part greed, part the thrill of the unknown, that motivated me to go through with the ritual, but thatâs where it all started. After that ritual, these horrifying recurring nightmares began, and I saw glimpses of the entity everywhere I went,â Y/N explained, finding it pretty easy to lay her cards on the table with her eyes trained on the beaten-down grass.Â
âSo, you packed up everything regarding your practice in hopes that the entity would leave you alone?â Namjoon mused after a few moments, taking his time to process the new information Y/N offered. Sneaking a peek at the wolf hybrid, she found he was staring right at her intently. Blushing, Y/N nodded, tearing her eyes from his.
âExactly that. Not a very wise plan, in hindsight, but for a while it actually worked. The nightmares stopped, and I didnât feel like Iâd catch the reflection of the entity in every mirror I looked into. It wasnât until a few days ago when I had another nightmare and saw it in my bathroom; I have a theory as to why,â Y/N felt Jimin at her side again, the three of them making their way to the elk hybrid waiting by the bridge behind the guesthouse.Â
âAnd whatâs that?â Namjoon urged, his ears perking up in her direction.Â
âThe entity appeared to me as an old hag⊠It never really liked when Iâd bring friends around, I believe it wanted me to feel isolated. I think when I adopted you all, that life-changing event triggered a possessive response, and the activity resumed,â Y/N waited for Jeongguk to join them when they reached the bridge at the edge of the overgrown shrubs, carrying them across a brook and into the flattened area of land with the stable in the distance.Â
âIt was a nasty old hag alright,â Jeongguk commented, kicking a rock off of the bridge and into the brook with a grimace. âI donât know, Iâm starting to think maybe it was demonic.â
From beside her, Namjoon scoffed, moving aside so Jimin could get by him and excitedly make his way to the stable, tail swishing quickly as he went.Â
âWhat, wolf? Itâs not like youâve produced any of your âtheoriesâ for us to pick apart yet,â Jeongguk made air quotes with two tattooed fingers, leaning over the railing of the bridge. âAt least you werenât totally useless in trying to get rid of it, I can admit to that much.â
âIf it was a demon, I doubt weâd be going on an evening stroll right now. Even with the two of us, demonic entities are not easy to banish; and it isnât like youâre a priest,â Namjoon sounded irritated, his beautiful face twisting into disdain.Â
âYou donât have to be a fucking priest to get rid of a demon, wolf,â Jeongguk groaned, producing a cigarette from behind his ear. Y/N was surprised he even had any left, at the rate he smoked. Cupping his hands to light it, Jeongguk continued with his voice somewhat muffled, âWhat else could it be? Not a shadow person, as it had a distinct form, which also rules out the possibility of a poltergeist. Human spirits donât have the kind of energy to cause that amount of activity. Are you thinking it was a genie or some shit?â
Insulted, Namjoon growled beside Y/N, his fingers brushing her wrist as he curled them into a fist. Cursing under her breath, both hybrids eyeing her as she did so, Y/N prayed she didnât have to break up a brawl, especially with Jimin several yards away placidly gazing at the crooked weathervane atop the stable roof.Â
âI donât think you have the slightest idea about all of the things that are out there,â Namjoon bit, jaw tense with annoyance. âJust because you ran around with some sort of ghost-hunting crew, doesnât mean youâve got it all figured out.â
âNever claimed that I did,â Jeongguk retorted, though seemingly backing down once assessing how pissed the wolf hybrid had become. âI just think you should entertain the possibility that it was a fucking demon, instead of tearing through books until your eyes bleed.â
âHey, can we just dial it down with the hostility here? You two worked so well together to banish whatever it was from the house, canât you focus on that for a moment or two instead of bickering like a couple of middle schoolers?â Y/N placed her hands on her hips, frowning at the two of them like a disappointed teacher. Jeongguk, rolling his eyes, blew cigarette smoke in Namjoonâs direction, the wolf hybrid too busy to register the action by staring down at Y/N with astonishment.Â
âLetâs go join Jimin. I gotta call in the pizza in a minute, too, so tell me what you want while we walkâ you can sort this out later, in a civil manner,â Y/N added, fed up with the petty arguments.Â
Really, she had little interest in finding out what exactly was haunting her in the first place; she was just glad it was gone. Truthfully, while Namjoon and Jeongguk were discussing it out in the backyard like that, Y/N began to feel paranoid it would return, which in consequence made her eager to change the subject. Besides, she had promised Jimin a pleasant walk around the grounds, not one rife with tension, occultish conversation subject matter, and bickering. Marching away from the two on the bridge, Y/N sought out the coyote hybrid, who was ambling into the stableâs open door.Â
Sheepishly, Jeongguk and Namjoon followed behind her with the sound of their sneakers squelching against the soggy grass. They reluctantly gave up their pizza topping preferences, Y/N shooting them the occasional expectant look from over her shoulder. Realizing with a jolt that she hadnât walked that far back through the grounds in quite some time, Y/N stood before the old stable wistfully.Â
It wasnât in horrible condition, just a tad rickety in some places of the structure, a peeling and weathered chicken coop attached to the side of the stable itself. The actual fenced-in pen to exercise horses if she had them was actually in worse condition than the stable; the wooden stakes making up the circular area crumbling and overgrown with moss, several prickly weeds poking up from the beaten-down dirt within the pen. When she entered the stable in search of Jimin, she was greeted with a damp hay scent coming from every direction, though the stalls for the horses were swept out completely. She spotted Jimin at the far-back wall, gazing up at the mounted saddles and reins absently. Approaching him slowly, she watched the coyote hybrid carefully take a rein into his hand, his thumb brushing over the worn leather with reverence.Â
âThis is the longest Iâve ever gone without riding,â Jimin murumed to her, releasing the rein hanging from the wall and turning to get a wider view of the stable. âThe stable at Yellowstone ranch was a lot different from this one; of course, it had to accommodate dozens of horses, ranch equipment. But still, it brings me back.â
âDo you miss the ranch?â Y/N asked quietly, saddened that Jimin seemed so far away. With a sharp intake of breath, Jimin paused before shaking his head.Â
âIt was my home for my whole life, but I dreamed of seeing the world, meeting new peopleâ it started to feel like a cage, being there. Thereâs parts I miss, my friends, riding, the wilderness. But I left for a reason, so I donât have any regrets,â Jimin explained slowly, taking time to sort out his thoughts while he circled the stable. Processing his words, Y/N kept an eye on Namjoon and Jeongguk through the open door, the pair leaning against the pen, having a hushed conversation.Â
âYou know, Miss Y/N, I can help you repair the stable, and with maintaining the landscape. Iâm sure Taehyung would be happy to pitch in, as well. He fixed the window in your bathroom, when we noticed it was bringing in a draft last night,â Jimin suddenly mused, a twinkle of excitement in his eyes as they stood by the rickety stable door.Â
âI thought that might have been him,â Y/N hummed fondly, already missing the Kodiak hybrid though she had seen him not even an hour ago, lounging on the recliner lazily. âJimin, Iâd love thatâ honestly, I wouldnât know where to start here. Having your expertise would put me at ease when I think about restoring something I know so little about.â
âIf you have equipment, maybe a lawn mower, hedge clippers, I could start clearing stuff away as soon as tomorrow. Perhaps we should wait until spring to work on the stable?â Jimin pondered excitedly, citrine eyes roaming rapidly over the fauna of the backyard.Â
The equipment Jimin was referring to was left untouched in the garage, Y/N always too nervous to figure out how to operate the ride-on mower. There was a large part of her that wanted to tell Jimin not to worry about it, but as he continued to chatter on about perhaps putting a flower bed in one spot, a garden bed in another, Y/N realized that he was genuinely enthralled by the possibility of spending time outdoors. It made sense, since Jimin spent most of his life in the wildernessâ being inside all day was probably a nuisance to him.Â
âAutumn here is typically pretty mild. There doesnât seem to be too much we have to do to the stable, so we could definitely work on it before the winter. Now that I think about it more, if we can get it functional again, people could board their horses here for the winter. It could be another helpful source of income now that thereâs so many of usâŠâ Y/N thought aloud, making a plan in her head to contact the grandchildren of some of her grandmotherâs friends and see if theyâd be interested in boarding their horses there.Â
With her words, Jimin grew even more eager, stars in his eyes as he considered the possibility of being able to work with horses again. With the look on his face, Y/N nearly squealed with glee. She never thought making the hybrids happy would bring her an equal amount of joy, if not even more. Jimin pulled out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, tapping out a bulleted list of tasks to complete as he began to walk through the stable again. Glowing as she watched Jimin smile to himself, Y/N fumbled for her own phone once she realized the sun was starting to set so she could order dinner.Â
As the line rang in her ear, Y/N returned to Namjoon and Jeongguk, the two of them examining Jiminâs pacing back and forth in front of the stable. Thankfully, during her conversation with Jimin, the other two hadnât ripped each otherâs throats out.Â
âSalâs, what do you need?â The raspy-voiced Italian woman working the counter at her favorite pizza place answered the phone, the sound of it as familiar as breathing.Â
âAngie, itâs Y/N. Can I place a take-out order?â Y/N replied, putting her finger up as Namjoon attempted to speak to her. Namjoonâs mouth flattened into a line at the action.Â
âY/N! Didnât hear from you this weekend, I almost sent Anthony in the delivery van to check for a pulse! Go ahead hun,â Angie guffawed, Y/N snorting at the thought of Anthony, the seventeen-year old grandson of the owner, pounding on her door to see if she was alive. She did order pizza most weekends.Â
âIâll have a large cheese, large pepperoni. One medium veggie, a small BBQ chicken, a small Hawaiian. Can you throw in a couple of the garden salads, too, please?âÂ
âHaving a party or something?â Angie exclaimed in between shouting the order back to Sal and Sal Jr. in the kitchen. Jeongguk was waving in front of her face with urgency, Y/N mouthing âwhatâ with mild annoyance.Â
âThe wolf wanted mozzarella sticks!â Jeongguk all but shouted, peeved that she was ignoring the two of them. Eyes shifting to Namjoon, he was shooting Jeongguk a dirty look, though his turned-down ears gave him away. Chuckling, Y/N gave him a thumbs up, interrupting Angieâs shouting into the kitchen.Â
âAng, can I also get the large order of mozzarella sticks as well?â Y/N wondered if they could possibly finish all of that food, but with the way they had all devoured the rice bowls the previous night, she wanted to err on the side of having more than enough for everyone.Â
âYou got it, hun,â Y/N could hear Salâs muffled voice through the receiver, Angie yelling back in Italian. âSalâs sending you a tray of tiramisu for the size of the order on the house. Anthony will be there in half an hour.â
Before Y/N could thank her, Angie hung up, likely to answer another call coming in. Her stomach growled right on cue as she thought of diving into the order of mozzarella sticks she hadnât ordered in quite some time. Y/N smiled at the two hybrids in front of her, still fuming that she hadnât given them her undivided attention during the phone call.Â
âWe should head in. Itâs going to get dark soon, and I have to replace the in-ground lights,â Y/N sighed, able to make out the illuminated house from off in the distance.Â
Though it was silly to admit to herself, she was already beginning to miss the others. Flagging Jimin down, Y/N jumped as a hand reached out to smack her bicep somewhat sharply, coughing out a choked ouch as she stared at Namjoonâs hand on her with shock.Â
âMosquito,â Namjoon immediately dropped his palm, brushing the bloody remains of the mosquito from his hand onto the grass as he bent towards the earth.Â
âT-thanks. You just startled me, thatâs all,â Y/N squeaked, still feeling the light sting of the strike. Jeongguk lifted his pierced brow at the wolf hybrid, tutting at him before heading back the way they had come by himself.Â
Jimin by her side, he regarded Namjoon with minor aggravation, apparently having witnessed the whole exchange with the mosquito. Shaking it off, Y/N grew cheerful again, with pizza on the way and a new plan for more money to come in. Sheâd definitely need the cash, especially when the first credit card bill arrived for all of the hybridâs charges the following month.Â
âYouâre from Montana, and worked at the Yellowstone ranch,â Namjoon suddenly directed his attention towards Jimin, both hybrids sandwiching her in between themselves snugly. Y/N grinned to herself, finding the interrogative way Namjoon phrased questions endearing.Â
âYes,â Jimin replied stiffly, as if preparing himself for another cowboy comment.Â
âI lived in Wyoming, in the park. Close to Madison Junction,â Namjoon revealed, Y/N amazed that he was giving away some personal details. Jiminâs eyes widened in confusion.Â
âYou lived in the park? How could you possiblyâ You canât just live in the park,â Jimin stuttered, stopping short once they reached the patio. Namjoon, apparently unwilling to share anything else, shrugged, opening the sliding door for Y/N to head inside.Â
Swiftly, Namjoon sped into the kitchen behind Y/N, leaving Jimin looking like he was solving a complicated equation in his head. The coyote hybrid entered the kitchen shortly thereafter, breezing by Jeongguk at the island and mumbling something about retrieving the whiskey.Â
âHey, how was the walk?â Whipping her head around at the sound of Yoongiâs gravelly voice, he was leaning against the entrance into the kitchen from the parlor, his tail curling around the lip of the wall.Â
âHi Yoongi! It was really nice, Jimin and I were talking about plans to fix up the stable and the yard. Itâll be more pleasant to hang out back there once itâs a bit more, uh⊠manicured?â Y/N searched for the right word, gazing up at the ceiling.Â
Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut, laughing silently at her choice of words, slinking into the kitchen gracefully. He had softened considerably compared to his sobered state earlier in the day, much to Y/Nâs relief, his arm moving past her to reach for the wine glasses. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Namjoon uncorking a bottle of wine successfully, pride washing over her as he recalled the steps sheâd shown him to use the corkscrew the night before.Â
âWine goes well with pizza,â Yoongi hummed from beside her, eyes narrowing in on something behind her. âThough you should be careful with the red. Youâre a lightweight. You too, Namjoon.â
Both her and Namjoon scowled at the leopard hybrid, though Y/N could tell Yoongi was only half-serious in his teasing. As Namjoon poured a glass for her first, she felt Yoongiâs fingertips at the back of her head, her entire body locking up at the sensation of her hair being touched. Bewildered, she nearly dropped her glass of wine turning to look at the leopard hybrid.Â
Yoongi smirked, pulling his hand from her hair, a brown maple leaf pinched between his long fingers presented in front of her face. He moved away from her all too quickly, following Namjoon around to get his own glass filled as the wolf hybrid ignored him spitefully after the lightweight comment. Under her nose, Jeongguk had left the room, likely in search of that âstiff cocktailâ he was referring to earlier.Â
Sipping her wine, Y/N heard the familiar three-beat car honking, announcing Anthonyâs arrival with the food. Skipping into the parlor, she spotted Jeongguk mixing up a gin cocktail by the bar cart and Jimin getting comfortable on the couch. Dropping her wine glass off on the coffee table and greeting Hoseok, Taehyung, and Seokjin fondly, she headed to the front door for the pizza with the Kodiak hybrid following close behind. He was avoiding her eyes, apparently still scandalized from the scenting conversation, though it was nice that he had resumed his habit of shadowing her. Swinging the front door open, Y/N barked out a laugh, Anthony standing on the porch almost completely obstructed from view with the stack of boxes in his arms.Â
âHey, Tony! I could have helped you make a couple of trips, strongman!â Y/N teased the teenager. Because she was a reliable regular of Salâs, she had gotten to know all of the people working there pretty well, and treated Anthony like a younger brother.
âAw, come on, Y/N! You know I started weight training for football months ago!â Anthony complained, his thick Boston accent heightening her amusement.Â
Hurriedly, she rushed to take the foil tray of tiramisu, salad boxes, and the mozzarella sticks, revealing Anthonyâs rounded face. Anthony grinned at her before spotting Taehyung, who hesitantly reached for the remaining boxes of pizza. Digging around in the pocket of her leggings for the cash she stuffed in there before the walk, she counted out twenties with one hand while Anthony relayed his anxieties about his senior year at the local high school.Â
âSo whoâs this, Y/N? Your boyfriend?â Anthony asked as he placed the cash in the pouch strapped around his waist, eyeing Taehyung suspiciously. Heart slamming up into her throat, she shook her head vigorously.Â
âO-oh! No, this is my friend, Tae,â Y/N explained nervously, thoroughly embarrassed and unable to even look at Taehyung beside her. Anthonyâs face innocently cleared of any suspicion, offering Taehyung a smile.Â
âNice to meet you, Tae! Hope youâre going to the cookout Friday, Iâll be there with the rest of my family. Itâs more fun when thereâs lots of people,â Anthony extended one of his hands for a shake, Taehyung dazedly grasping the kidâs hand and shaking it robotically.Â
âIâll be there,â Taehyung murmured, the expression crossing his face one Y/N had never seen before; melancholic?
Anthonyâs work phone clipped to his belt began to beep incessantly, the teen rolling his eyes at the sound.Â
âI gotta fly. The Ramseys on the other side of town are going to want their calzones,â Anthony called over his shoulder, jogging back to the van he parked on the street. âSee you Friday, Y/N, Tae!âÂ
Hurrying into the house, Y/N heard Taehyung shut the door tightly. The look that had crossed his face had vanished, replaced by the composed stoicism Taehyung intrinsically possessed. Biting her lip, Y/N slowly made her way down the hall towards the parlor, shifting into apology mode.Â
âSorry about that. Iâm at this pizza place all the time, and Iâve grown pretty close to the family. That was Anthony, the ownerâs grandson⊠heâs kind of like the younger brother I never had,â Y/N explained, Taehyung making a noise of acknowledgement softly.Â
âWhy are you apologizing? He was nice, I could tell he was just worried about you,â Taehyung returned, bending down a few inches to get a good look into her eyes. Startled, Y/Nâs felt heat rise up her neck, the Kodiak hybrid closer to her than she was ready for. âYou called me Tae again. I really like when you do that.â
With that, Taehyung flashed her a sweet smile, speeding off in front of her to drop the pizza boxes on the coffee table and leaving her reeling in the hallway. Moving slowly, Y/N entered the lively room, everyone already attacking the boxes like a bunch of wild animals, Yoongi and Jimin trying their best to establish some order. Dropping her own armful of takeout on the table, Y/N sunk to the floor by Hoseokâs feet by the couch. Slice of pizza in one hand, wine glass in the other, Y/N settled in to catch the middle of The Mummy that one of them had put on, enjoying the various conversations between the hybrids around her.Â
Stuffed to the gills with tiramisu, Y/N sluggishly brushed her teeth in her bathroom after an evening of action films and way too much pizza. One of the highlights of the evening was the passionate argument about whether or not The Mummy was corny (it was) between Seokjin and Hoseok, Seokjin declaring it âepicâ and Hoseok lamenting its quality overall. She had to admit, it was corny, but she loved the film, the chemistry between the two leads undeniable and spellbinding.Â
Ready to crash face-first into her pillow, Y/N yanked a comb through her hair, turning off the light in her bathroom without fear flooding through her for the first time in weeks. Changing into a light tank top and shorts pajama combination, Y/N could hear Jeongguk stomping around in his bedroom, the elk hybrid perhaps one gin cocktail over his limit. She wasnât about to stop him from pouring them, even as he began to sing along to the soundtrack of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World during the tail-end of the movie marathon, as he was one of the primary reasons she could sleep with the lights off that night. For someone that looked like a member of a nu-metal band, Jeongguk had the voice of an angel.Â
Considering she had taken it easy on the wine, not only because Yoongi and Hoseok were monitoring her intake, but because she didnât want to be drunk if God forbid the entity returned and she would have to jump in and protect the others, she still felt woozy. Y/N knew that she was being paranoid, being somewhat convinced that the entity would return. It wasnât like she didnât trust Jeongguk and Namjoon in their confidence that it was gone and doubted their efforts, but because it had been haunting her for so long, it was hard to believe it was truly banished from her life. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, the ability to move easier than it had been in ages. As Y/N went to toss her leggings in the hamper, she felt a lump in one of the pockets, furrowing her eyebrows.Â
Mouth dropping open, Y/N fished out the forest green protection pouch she had made for Namjoon out of the pocket, internally scolding herself for not giving it to him earlier. Too preoccupied with the walk of the grounds, exciting movies and pizza, she totally forgot that he was the only one without a pouch, growing nervous. Because he was one of the two that performed the actual âmystery ritualâ that got rid of the entity, Namjoon having the pouch was a priority to her. Chewing at the inside of her cheek, she debated whether or not to simply drop by his room and hand it off if he was still awake, but it was pretty late and she felt funny about disturbing him at that hour.Â
She left the pouch on her nightstand, clambering onto her bed with a groan. Her limbs were aching; she had a full day considering the disturbed sleep she had gotten the night prior. While she physically felt bone-tired, her brain was going a million miles per minute, trying to process every single interaction she had with each hybrid during the day. Embarrassingly enough, she felt that she hadnât seen nearly enough of Seokjin, who kept a bit of a distance from her since the discussion between herself, him, Yoongi and Taehyung over breakfast. Her thoughts floated from Seokjin to Hoseok, the fox hybridâs uncharacteristic clingy actions flooding into her mind.Â
As she lounged over her made-up bed, she recalled how lax Hoseok became in her embrace that morning, comparing it to the way Taehyung had arched his spine into her hand when she soothed her hand down his back. Most of the hybrids had begun to seek out physical touch with her, apart from Jeongguk, who tended to keep his space. Even then, when she had tiptoed into his bedroom, Y/N could swear she could still feel the strong grip of his hand wrapped around her wrist, hours later.Â
Running a hand through her hair, Y/N took a deep breath once she realized her heart began to race once more. At this rate, she thought, she would suffer from a heart attack. She couldnât wait to see Laura and Alice at the cookout, perhaps whisking them out of earshot to describe the kinds of emotions that had begun to blossom within her. It had been a long time since Y/N had felt frazzled in that way, and she knew Laura and Alice would be able to offer her a little bit of insight once they met the hybrids.Â
Y/Nâs thoughts were interrupted by rapt knocking at her bedroom door, her features pulling into confusion as she hauled herself off of her bed. She couldnât guess who would be on the other side of the door as she grasped the handle, hoping that whoever it was didnât have a paranormal sighting.Â
Pulling the heavy door open, Y/N allowed her eyes to adjust to the low lighting of the hallway after being used to the lamplight of her bedroom. Before her was Namjoon, dressed in his sleepwear and hair mussed as if heâd been pulling at it. Swallowing thickly as she searched his face for signs of distress, she found unsurprisingly that his emotions were difficult to decipher.Â
âWhatâs up? Are you okay?â Y/N whispered, trying her best not to disturb the others in the household. Namjoon pressed a palm to his face, his body language stiffer than usual.Â
âNo, Iâm not,â Namjoon admitted roughly, his eyes looking more dangerous than ever. Shifting from one foot to another with anxiety, Y/N began to panic that the entity had returned, assessing the dewy sweat that was accumulating across his forehead.Â
âWhatâs wrong, Namjoon?â Y/N all but begged, hating the expression of thinly veiled discomfort settling over the wolf hybridâs entire form.Â
âIâ I have toâŠâ Namjoon pushed his way past her bedroom door, making Y/N stumble backwards towards the foot of her bed as he towered over her. âI canât push it d-down. My headâs splitting.â
Her breath quickening, Namjoon continued to stalk towards Y/N in a predatory manner until her ass hit her mattress, her knees buckling as she landed on the soft surface. Gulping, her mind began to go to several different places; Namjoonâs profile on the database, Laura and Aliceâs concerns, scenting. Namjoon appeared possessed, his constant restraint absent as he kneeled on the floor before her, eyebrows pinched in pain. Skin burning as he grasped one of her knees, Y/N gasped at the contact of his strong hand on her bare flesh, unable to break away from the way his eyes had turned devilish.Â
âN-namjoon, what are youâ?â Y/N breathed, the wolf hybrid shuddering as she said his name, halting her from speaking further by bringing his face inches away from hers.Â
âHave to. I needâŠâ Namjoon slurred, his eyes dropping down to the exposed skin of her throat. His grip on her knee tightened, his fingernails digging into the flesh sharply, the situation suddenly dawning on Y/N completely.Â
âO-okay, Namjoon, itâs okay. Do what you need to do,â Y/N encouraged shakily, stunned that the night had taken such a turn, and all too curious to find out what scenting was like.Â
While she was expecting one of them to initiate what was about to happen soon, her near last guess as to who was first to do so was Namjoon. Upon hearing the words that left her mouth, Namjoon growled from the back of his throat, using his free hand to wrap around the nape of her neck and yank her forward. Bracing herself against his strong shoulders by instinct, Y/N squeezed her eyes shut, feeling Namjoonâs hot breath against the junction of her throat and collarbone. She heard the wolf hybrid inhale deeply, his body trembling under her fingertips with the heady scent that spilled from her neck.Â
âS-shit,â Namjoon groaned, the hand around the back of her neck growing firmer and the other traveling from her knee to the small of her waist to bring her closer to him, Y/Nâs torso going flush with his own. Namjoonâs heart was practically beating out of his chest, Y/Nâs hands migrating downwards from his shoulders to his biceps as her breath began to come out in tiny gasps. â'Sâgonna hurt, Iâm s-sorry.â
Curling her fingertips into the thick muscles of Namjoonâs biceps, Y/N felt the eager press of Namjoonâs plush lips to the sensitive skin of her throat, a quick flick of his tongue tasting the flesh. Before she could process the jolting sensation, Namjoon bared his teeth, the two pointed incisors nicking the thin skin before sinking into it like a hot knife through butter. The pain was sharp, intense, Y/N yelping as her fingernails dug into Namjoonâs arms, the wolf hybrid stiffening as he latched onto her.
As quick as the pain came, a euphoric numbing sensation replaced it even with his teeth still in her neck, her body growing slack in his grip as her blood flowed into Namjoonâs mouth. A whine came through her throat involuntarily, Namjoonâs teeth pulling from her flesh swiftly. Replacing his teeth came the heavy drag of his tongue laving over the punctures thoroughly, the action clearing every thought from Y/Nâs mind. With the action of his tongue soothing the wound, Namjoonâs muscles began to relax under Y/Nâs hold significantly. So this is scenting, Y/N thought dazedly, completely bewildered.Â
With a final brush of his full lips over the site of the mark, Namjoon reluctantly pulled away from her neck, coming eye-level with her. Y/N giggled stupidly, feeling lightheaded as Namjoon rose from his knees, both arms curling around her waist gently to lift her from her seated position. Carefully, Namjoon shifted her weight to one arm, using the other to draw back her quilt and bed sheets, lowering her down onto the mattress gingerly. After covering her quaking body with the quilt, Y/N already missing the heat that radiated off of the wolf hybrid, Namjoon bent over the bed, pushing hair off of her forehead softly.Â
âAre you okay?â Namjoon whispered, seeming more at ease than Y/N ever remembered him to be. All signs of distress had melted from his features, an air of relief clinging to him strongly as he stared down at her.
Trying to nod weakly, Y/N watched a strange smile dance across Namjoonâs face, a drop of her blood still clinging to his bottom lip. Tiredly, Y/N reached up, swiping her thumb against his lip, collecting the drop and letting her hand fall limply, Namjoonâs pupils blown wide. Pulling away from her proximity, Namjoon reached to switch off her nightstand lamp.Â
âWait! The charm⊠that one is yours,â Y/N mumbled, limblessly pointing to the pouch beside the lamp. Hand stilling, Namjoon scooped up the pouch, expression sobering.
âGânight, Namjoon,â Y/N murmured, her eyelids beginning to become heavy as she tracked his movements towards her bedroom door. She swore she heard a response, regretful that he couldnât stay as she immediately fell into a dreamless sleep.Â
The next day passed in a blur. Y/N was called away by her mother early Wednesday morning to spend the majority of the day taking her and her grandmother to brunch, the botanical garden, and then shopping at the plaza nearby. Y/N hadnât left anyone in charge when she departed in the morning, though she eyed Yoongi in particular for leadership when she stressed to everyone to remain civil with one another as a handful of them saw her off in the foyer.
That morning, Y/N hardly remembered the events leading up to her falling asleep until she looked in the mirror while brushing her teethâ Namjoonâs mark left from his scenting appearing starkly in her reflection. Grateful for the blustery weather, Y/N covered the mark up with her large Ghost sweatshirt she picked up the last time the band was on tour, scrambling out of the door before any of the hybrids could suspect something awry. Namjoon was not one of the hybrids present upon seeing her off before her outing, much to her disappointment and surprise.
Throughout the day, she was comforted by the fact that she could stay in touch with the hybrids she had left at home through text. Jimin had sent her several articles on stable restoration, and Hoseok had asked how she had slept with several emojis. She found it odd, however, that her mother hardly asked her a single question about the hybrids, even with her grandmother out of earshotâ concerning her for some small reason she could not place.Â
As she trudged through a stuffy department store with her mother and grandmother, absently Y/N was comforted that her sleep was dreamless, free from the horrid nightmare that had plagued her since she had adopted the hybrids. Admittedly, she was nervous about leaving them behind, thoughts surrounding Jeonggukâs abrasiveness between everyone who met his eyes, everyoneâs obvious avoidance towards Taehyung, and Hoseokâs fear of Namjoon in general, occupied most of the afternoon with her mother and grandmother. All that she could do was trust that they would get along until her returnâ theyâd have to get used to it anyway, when she began her part-time job at Judyâs.Â
Y/N expected herself to be more shaken up once she remembered how Namjoon had scented her the night before. Truthfully, she found herself feeling more at peace when she woke up than ever before, the hazy memory only coming back to her once she saw the bite in the mirror. In truth, the ritual was a lot less painful than she was expecting. If anything, the pain lasted for half a second, the agony immediately replaced with an addictive soothing effect; and the closeness of the situation was the most overwhelming sensation of all.Â
With her eyes glazed over, Y/N stared at a cashmere sweater on a mannequin for several moments, trying to recreate in her mind how Namjoon had grasped the back of her neck with need, pulling her in by her waist into his proximity. She was totally unprepared for Namjoon to be the one to seek her out first, her whole body flushing from head to toe as his blissed-out expression filled her imagination. She was ripped from her reminiscing by her mother, asking her if she was feeding her hybrids a well-balanced diet. To her relief, her mother hadnât brought up Namjoon, almost as if she sensed Y/N knew less about his situation than she did.Â
She thanked the sky that her mother had spared her grandmother the information that Y/N had adopted the seven hybrids, once they dropped her off back at the house. Y/N knew that sheâd have to tell her unnervingly brilliant grandmother the truth come Friday, but the fact that her mother allowed her to put it off until then came as an unexpected gift. As she heaved herself up the steps of the front porch, Y/N could hear several of the hybridâs voices from the backyard, likely enjoying the first sunny day since they had arrived at the house. Her insides warming up, Y/N unlocked the front door hurriedly, eager to both join them and check to see if Namjoon was faring better than he had been when he knocked on her bedroom door the previous night.Â
It was later in the afternoon, the house somewhat darkened as she let herself in. She could smell something spicy stewing away in the kitchen; likely Yoongiâs dinner menu. Kicking off her sneakers, Y/N yawned, a bit drained from having to explain to her grandmother three separate times why she had decided to leave her job at the animal hospital. From upstairs, she heard an object crash to the floor loudly, making her flinch a foot into the air.Â
She was on the second floor before she knew it, eager to know what had caused the sound. If it was the hag spirit again, Y/N wanted to be the one to not only see it, but confront it as well. Heart racing, she tore through the common spaces, briefly peering into Yoongi, Jeongguk, and Taehyungâs rooms without so much of a clue as to what had fallen. Puzzled, Y/N frowned, pausing by the shut door of Seokjinâs room. Cautiously, she paused to listen for any further movement, but heard nothing.Â
âSeokjin? Are you in there?â Y/N called, though she was fairly confident she heard his voice in the backyard when she was dropped off. In response came a pained groan, one most definitely coming from the jaguar hybrid as she had heard it once before. Unhesitatingly, Y/N shoved the door open, worried he had somehow injured himself.Â
Beside the door to his bathroom, Seokjin had collapsed on his side, the wavy tips of his blue-black hair damp with sweat as he gasped for breath on the floor. Swearing colorfully, Y/N flew to his side, kneeling beside him and grasping one of his hands to squeeze securely. His cheeks were pink, gazing at her through heavily-lidded eyes.Â
âOh my God, Seokjin! What happened, honey?â Y/N panicked, using her free hand to cup the shape of his sweat-dewed cheek.Â
Seokjin murmured something incoherently, his thick eyebrows pulled together in agony. Feeling an anxiety attack about to come on, Y/N moved her fingers down his cheek to check his pulse at the base of his throat, the jaguarâs eyes rolling back into his skull as she did so. Y/N could hardly count the beats per minute, his pulse was racing so quickly, sending her further into frenzy mode.Â
âSeokjin! Can you hear me? Honey, hey, look at me,â Y/N pleaded, her hand returning to the side of his face. She knew she should try to get help from some of the others, but had no intention of leaving his side, a heavy moan tearing from his throat. âSeokjin!â
Her name forced its way out from between his teeth, his weak hold on her hand tightening a degree. Scanning his crumpled form for any obvious injuries but not able to detect one, Y/N swore once more. Beginning to hyperventilate, Y/N released his hand, using her arm to snake around his back and sit him upright, not knowing what else to do in that moment but cradle him close and try to calm both him and herself down. With his quivering body pressed close to her own, Y/N ran a hand down his back, feeling fever chills begin to rock through him.Â
âY-Y/N. Didnât know it would h-happen so soon,â Seokjin miraculously choked out, Y/N stilling completely as he spoke. âYou l-left, and I got s-sickâŠâ
It crashed down onto her, realizing that Seokjin was experiencing what Namjoon had the night before, but his condition had worsened since she wasnât around the entire day. Seokjin had likely gone throughout the entire day feeling the intense discomfort Namjoon had displayed the night prior, the delayed relief only making him feel feverish and weak. Feeling sick with guilt, Y/N pulled Seokjinâs face draped over her shoulder with two cupped hands, attempting to look him square in his clouded sunset eyes.Â
âSeokjin, listen to me, I know you can hear me,â Y/N urged calmly, her anxiety dissipating now that she knew what was going on. âIâm here now.â
Gently, Y/N pushed Seokjinâs head into the crook of her neck, on the opposite side where Namjoon had left his mark. Seokjinâs body began to shiver more violently in her arms due to the concentration of her scent at the base of her throat, the jaguar hybrid making the first bone-chilling growl she had ever heard from him. The jaguar hybridâs arms snaked around her body, pulling her into his lap securely. Holding onto his broad back for dear life, Y/N braced herself for the inevitable sting of his incisors piercing her flesh.Â
The plump petals of Seokjinâs lips parted on her skin, searing the flesh as he mouthed at it mindlessly, before he sunk his teeth into her, Y/N grasping a fistful of his hair at the feeling, spots clouding her vision. While Seokjin was gentler than Namjoon even in his feverish delirion, Y/N was overwhelmed immediately, the high that came directly after the bite with the soft brush of Seokjinâs tongue over the bleeding flesh hurdling her over the threshold of consciousness, becoming completely limp in Seokjinâs arms.Â
The predator closed in on its prey.Â
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