#and yet he's evil
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my ex really said this to me once. he implied my degrees were useless and that i needed to get into something better because "he didn't want his children to be ashamed of their mother".
#he spoke to me in such a mean and condescending way a lot of the time#i felt so insulted and i really blame myself for it a lot too#i let him walk over me so much even though he was diminishing me#and i let it go on for months because i thought i could change that person#but i only got more hurt and i now genuinely think he caused me some serious ptsd#i normally try to keep this talk to myself but i haven't been able to sleep in the past few days because#he keeps appearing in my dreams or in my thoughts when i am trying to sleep#it keeps haunting me and bothering me#i thought i was healing from it but it seems like it's still there in my subconscious#i feel for myself because the person i knew disappeared the moment i moved in with him#it felt like i witnessed a lovely person turn into a narcissistic manipulator#i am so damn sad#i wish i could erase him forever i wish i had never met him#and besides that he also said other messed up things to me#and i want to bash my head against the wall when i think of the red flags i watched pass by#and when i think of the things he said to me that i just accepted#he drove me insane quite literally i started questioning myself and my reality#the thought of him makes me wanna d1eeeeee#especially because the people around him love him he's successful and everyone thinks he's this sweet guy#and yet he's evil
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Ultimately the resolution of Jason and Cass fights comes down to the fact that while he has his own ideals that don't mesh with the bats, Jason can be flexible. DC skipped the whole reconciliation with the family but while he's willing to kill it's generally a means to an end to him, not the whole entire point unless you're talking about Joker. Meanwhile for Cass the question of killing vs not killing is dead serious to her which means any time they're working together and things start going off track it's like:
Jason: Look if we kill this guy we send a message to his boss which makes it easier for us to negotiate with him from a position of power and I just think that-
Cass, snatching one of his guns and pointing it at her own head: Go on, pull the trigger. Kill him. Kill me. Go tell Batman that you let his daughter die to make a negotiation easier. He already let you die so no problem right? You think we should die? You think our life only worthwhile as part of a plan, just because we're killers? Are we doomed? Are we rotten to the core with no hope of redemption? Go on then, kill us and kill part of your soul alongside it. You clearly don't care for it so why are you even trying? Kill yourself along with us, come on Jason let's all just die right?
Jason, slowly backing away: I think you may be projecting a tiny bit so just. Calm down before I call the suicide hotline please.
Cass, slowly lowering the gun and knocking the random henchman unconscious: Yeah that's what I thought, fucking pussy.
Jason: Mm yeah you know what I hate you actually. Fuck this mission I'll just shoot you right now if you're going to be this annoying about it.
Jason, explaining things later to Dick: So I just kept shooting at her until I ran out of bullets and we both calmed down enough to call a truce. We tracked the guy down and didn't kill anyone but I did blow up the batplane just as a last minute screw you. Is she always this uh... intense?
Dick: Yeah, one time I broke up with Barbara and she threw me out a window. She's just like that.
#dc#cassandra cain#jason todd#batfam#dc rambles#dick grayson#it's so funny how jason is like. a mass murderer. and yet he's more of a team player than cass#like yeah he's violent and unpredictable but if you're on the same team with the same temporary goal then you've got decent chances#meanwhile the entire team could be seconds away from dying with the only solution being to kill a guy with a bomb#and if you're on the team with cass she'll spend the last few seconds punching you in the face for trying to kill the evil guy#then disarming the bomb because she's just that annoying#I love her very much <3#i'm jason posting a lot recently sorry jtodd stans for clogging up his tag#I just like the thought of jason dealing with a mini bruce that has none of the baggage of being his dad#so it's just the experience of ramming his head into an annoying brick wall with zero catharsis of confronting your shitty father
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Bingqiu AU where Luo Binghe's the chosen village sacrifice to the evil deity who lives up the mountain.
Normally the village sends maidens, but they've more or less run out of expendable girls of the right age and, ahem, "virtues". So of course Luo Binghe's early life bad luck kicks in. In the wake of his mother's death there's no one to really care about what happens to him, he's fairly pretty, and the village leaders decide that if they dress him up like a girl the teenaged homeless kid should pass well enough. And hey, y'know, he's probably got a hard life ahead for him anyway -- dying in a brothel of some venereal disease or on the streets of exposure or starvation. At least as a sacrifice, everyone else gets to benefit from his loss! And the kid will get added to a shrine and be remembered as a hero! If anything, he should be happy about this!
Binghe is not happy about this.
But he's also a skinny underfed nobody who is easily overpowered, dressed up like a bride, and tied to a post. So. Not much he can do but wait for the evil deity to come and do whatever horrible thing he's gonna do to him.
Meanwhile, Shen Yuan is pretty sure he's been isekai'd into the over-powered hero of some kind of supernatural adventure story? He's not totally sure because he doesn't recognize the setting, but the signs are there. He's got a shrine-like base of operations (though it seems to have become corrupted/ruined, probably he has to restore it somehow), he has a very resilient and handsome new body with spiritual energy of some kind flowing through him, and a very clearly magical sword. Plus lots of neat starter powers! Though it feels like he has other abilities that have been blocked somehow? Probably he has to level up in order to access them.
When he treks out of his "base" and finds what seems to be a distressed maiden, he takes it for his beginner hero mission. The girl claims that she's been doomed to be sacrificed to an evil god. That sounds a little above Shen Yuan's pay grade for dealing with, so he unties her and decides that they had better just get out of the whole region altogether. He already packed up anything useful from his base, anticipating he might get caught up in an adventure once he left, so they follow the river away from the settlement until they reach another one.
While they travel, Luo Binghe tells Shen Yuan about the cursed deity, Shen Qingqiu, who was cast out of the heavens for slaughtering one of his brethren and has apparently being do-who-knows what to maidens from the local village in exchange for his "protection" ever since. Sounds like a real asshole! And also mid-level boss type bad guy at least. Shen Yuan hopes he doesn't have to fight him, but he probably will.
Thank goodness he found Binghe, though! Clearly the helpful little sister type! He's definitely going to require her assistance if he's going to figure out how to navigate this world and level up his skills enough to take on a god.
#svsss#bingqiu#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#luo binghe: I don't know why the evil deity toys with me this much but as long as he is amused then he's not killing me#luo binghe: each day he lets me live is another blessing especially since I have no hope of escape#luo binghe: is it for some sick amusement that he drags me to and from the dens of monsters and feigns ignorance?#luo binghe: if I reveal that I know the truth will the ruse end? does he do this with all his sacrifices?#luo binghe: or is he toying with me because he knows that I'm not really a maiden at all? standing on this knife's edge is unbearable#luo binghe: and yet somehow this is the most stable my life has been ever since the death of my poor mother#luo binghe: the world is cruel -- perhaps if I become whatever it is this god desires I might be shielded from more of it for another day#luo binghe: wait I have heavenly demon blood? then... perhaps my dark master considers me a suitable companion thanks to this?#luo binghe: are we two companions in this wretched world? outsiders sharing scorn and thus only able to find solace in each other?#luo binghe: is this what it feels like to care and be cared for? it's been so long I had almost completely forgotten it#shen yuan: gosh these upgrades are getting convoluted I wish I had a skill menu or something#shen yuan: oooh neat a slime! easy exp!
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Evil Ford!! This is specifically if he were to take Bill’s offer to join him during Weirdmageddon :)
His design is based around themes of cryptids (mothman specifically), eldritch horror, cults, and evil science and I’m very happy with the result! Under the cut will have the WIPS + the designs with my notes and choices (thank you to dadskall for being my brainstorming buddies on this hehe)
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#billford#stanford pines#bill cipher#weirdmageddon#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls au#evil ford au#digital art#my art#procreate#bro designed himself and went full silly D&D with it#so glad I discussed ideas with my friends because without that I would have gone down the Dr. Clockwork route yet again#I need his cape GRRR#as much as I love the design#IT IS A PAAAIN TO DRAW LMAOOOO HAHAHAHAH#I feel like this design could also apply if he found out Bill’s plan in 1982 and was like ‘sure why not? hehe’#like it would be this design but younger yeah#anyways YEAH.#ISTG IF YOU SAY HE LOOKS LIKE RANBOO 💀 DON’T YOU DARE. /gen /PLEASE 😭😭😭
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guys. guys. guys. look at me. i beg of you to think about it for one single second. do you really genuinely honestly think that armand. 514 years old never turned a human never made a vampire. would make his first and only fledgling OUT OF SPITE? look at me in the eye. come on. i know you don't genuinely think that
#armand#daniel molloy#devil's minion#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtv meta#it's clearly a case of we've been villainizing this character for the whole season and building him to be the Big Bad so it only makes sens#that he did this out of spite or Evil Reasons contextually but as it always is we have yet to tell the whole story and it'll turn#the whole thing on its head when we do. next season. when we show you the scene of the turning. next season. when we give further backgroun#to these characters and their dynamic. next season. tune in for next season. bet you want to tune in now. for next season.#like you don't need to have read the books to know how completely out of character would be for armand to do this out of spite#you just need to have listened to him the various times he talked about making vampires.
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It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.
His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.
He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.
#it makes me really angry how adamant some people are against exploring his sweeter side beyond just ''heehoo evil doctor''#idk how to tell you that giving a character a wider range of complexities and oftentimes contradicting traits#does not equal 'woobification'. him being friendly social and cheerful and fascinated with the world around him (which he canonically is)#is not the same thing as writing him as a helpless softboy. those two things do not correlate#he was visibly worried when sniper wanted to get back in the fight!#it's so abundantly clear that medic just misses social cues and doesn't always react accordingly#plus his quote unquote evilness is a joke it's not. something that is meant to be taken seriously#he's more comparable to a saturday morning cartoon villain except he is a protagonist#the way he approaches medicine to me is very similiar to#a child playing potions if that makes sense. he is throwing shit together to see what sticks#and having fun with it#i might rewrite this later to be more coherent because i have alot of thoughts on him that are jumbled together#and there is so much to say abt him#also i find it so funny how inconsistent he is. he tells them they all hallucinated before brain death#yet he personally went to hell multiple times. why did he do that#tf2#medic#tf2 medic#medic tf2#team fortress 2
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something something max's main color being red with blue highlights something something grace's main color being blue with red highlights something something motivations something something alive and dead something something
#would i like to do an analysis on the lighting? yes.#but for some reason my brain is only capable of analyzing bf and some bits of tgwdlm#dont expect much from me#but something i CAN say is that#the colors can represent their motivations and connections to the lords in black#such as dying in the waylon hall and getting to use the black book#and by motivations i mean#with grace; she decided to use the powers of the black book to get rid of 'dirty dudes'#which is something she most likely believes as a correct action#but the red highlights indicate the bits on evilness in her#it shows how her intentions don't change her actions#and for max; red is for vengeance#yet the blue highlights are used in here#mostly for 'who will pray for me' bit#and#this is something related. i believe that max was reflecting himself when saying those lines#it was not only for richie to repeat but also about himself#anyway back to the lighting#the blue represents that there is something deeper than just vengeance#'who will pray for me when im gone'#thats about himself. he knows that no one in the schoo really cared that much about his death besides the game#they only cared about the game. not max himself#so the lights during both npmd and ddmd represent#their connections to the lords. their motivations and intent. and how their actions are made#starkid#hatchetfield#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#max jagerman#grace chasity
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I saw comments that the new butler from Ridekamens look like Sebek
He...kinda does
I wasn't gonna say it, but. that was kind of my first thought when he was revealed. :') maybe this is what Sebek's older brother is doing these days? he ran off to buttle for secret agents at a superhero cafe? actually wait that would be rad as heck, I'll accept this headcanon
#art#twisted wonderland#ride kamens#i don't know how to tag this in a way that won't annoy literally everyone so uhhhh sorry about that#'but his surname is aijo' it's his SECRET AGENT NAME gosh you wanna blow his cover or what#...okay to be fair they're not really that much alike#beyond being green manservants themed after reptiles and having sorta similar hair and...well their personalities are different anyway#then again we have yet to actually experience leon so who knows#we'll be in the middle of a tense battle of good vs evil and he just appears behind us screaming GOSHUJINSAMA YOUR DRYCLEANING!!!#actually based on his description this seems pretty likely. hm.
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wintersberg is really funny to me
#ethan winters#karl heisenberg#wintersberg#rosemary winters#rose winters#resident evil village#resident evil#resident evil fanart#resident evil 8#rebhfun#re8#i love how straight up karl is#'i like u'#HELLOO? U HAVENT EVEN MET YET#hes seriously so funny#he wants ethan so bad#ok girl calm down hes not runnng away from u#oh wait he is#LOL#any wintersberg art i make is under a unspoken AU that karl didnt propose his stupid idea of using rosemary as a weapon🙏
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On a scale from completely cutting them out of your life and moving to the other end of the galaxy (Julian) to subconsciously metamorphosing into a murderous goo creature and attacking them on sight (Odo), how well do you deal with your garbage-tier parental figure?
#someone send help#the bois are Suffering#the worst part about BOTH of these parental figures is their so sure they did *such* a good job#shouldn’t their kids be so grateful??#and their feature episodes are All About their kids having to go to WILD lengths to get them to listen#French trek#Star Trek#Odo#Julian Bashir#I’m putting Julian on the small side of the scale because he has yet to actively attempt to stab his parents#poor Odo’s grievances got aired due to Evil Gas and therefore were much more extreme#ds9#is there anything more awful than a parent excited to see you when you are just *filled* with dread at the sight of them
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I think the two most obvious foils for Ludinus Da'leth across all of Critical Role are Essek and Keyleth, which is both fascinating given how different those two characters are from each other (Essek being a foil in terms of isolation, single-mindedness, harm in the name of ambition, knowledge, and other such wizard themes; Keyleth being a foil in terms of people who have lost something at a young age to the gods and bear resentment for it, political leadership, belief that the world belongs to mortalkind, and longevity) but also it's extremely funny that they both are the partners of Liam's character.
#i could write like a longer piece about it but that kind of sums it up#like. hm. how do i put it.#the thing about essek is like. he like ludinus made some IMMENSELY selfish and harmful choices#but the timeline was SHORT all things considered. ludinus didn't REALLY get going until hundreds of years post-calamity#and he expresses NO regret whereas the vibe with essek in 2x97 is that he's kind of hated himself ever since#and you know. maybe if someone had intervened with ludinus 400 years earlier he'd have done the same. but who would. does he have friends.#the thing about essek haters who aren't just angry shippers is that they all ascribe to ontological evil and yet don't ascribe it to ludinu#meanwhile keyleth is just like...the scope of her pain is somehow both smaller and larger#and yet she's able to see herself as part of a whole and not the center of the world#the fact that power and long life was much more naturally given or earned by her rather than seized is also i think part of it#but keyleth's speech this past episode in particular...it's a direct rebuttal of ludinus's dumb speech in 51#this can be your world without having to kill anyone if you're willing to work and grow and compromise and grieve#cr spoilers#critical role#ludinus da'leth#essek thelyss#keyleth
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sometimes i’m sooooo blown away by the fact that kevin is so smart……. like yes he is the fox with the highest grades despite being also the fox with the tightest training schedule and yes he canonically gets called an obsessive genius and yes the extra content explicitly says he is both very smart and very willing to teach people. but really i am thinking about kevin playing reporters like fiddles, jean calling kevin too good of a liar to ever let anything slip, kevin going up to andrew post-game and wordlessly helping cover up the fact andrew is off his medicine by pretending andrew’s racquet had broken (and then proceeding to discreetly crush it in his hand when the foxes gather around andrew), kevin living a lifetime of walking on the edge of riko’s knife, kevin hiding french, hiding thea, kevin spotting potential from a mile away, kevin who even riko thought was brilliant and sharp-tongued. yeah……..!
#hes really one of the smartest aftg characters my sister deserves some credit#book smart and media smart#he could start a cult if he wanted to but he doesnt he just wants to play exy#its actually really really really cool to me that kevin is smart but his motives are so simple#he wants to live. he wants to play exy. he wants jean to be happy. he wants andrew to enjoy exy. he wants neil to live#yeah he could use all those smarts for evil but he doesnt want to he wants to use them for fun and for texting thea and for exy#i dont know if my point is getting across here but i just i really like him………….. kevin is so simple minded and yet so smart#he wants a world of people falling over each other like puppies and if he didnt we would be fucked but he does#kevin is really the first healthy manipulative girlfriend#kevin#txt
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Unpleasant Revelations - DPxDC Ficlet Idea for the Stillborn Au
"Have you met my youngest, Damian, Mr. Masters?"
Its only from twenty years of long, hard experience and practice that Vlad doesn't increase the room temperature from 'borderline uncomfortably cool' to 'unbearably hot' the moment Bruce Wayne pulls his youngest and "only" biological son out in front of him.
He puts only in quotations because twelve year old Damian Wayne looks scarily, uncannily like one Daniel Brown. Jack and Maddie's foster son, second victim of their foolishness, and only other halfa in existence. Second only to him.
It's nauseating how similar they look. From the scowl and terrible glare on the young boy's face, to his brown skin -- which was only a few shades lighter than Daniel's, the shape of his nose, and even the strange winged edge of his eyebrow. Something that Vlad has long since come to find endearing on the child he considered a son of his own. The only difference was that Damian had dark, sharp green eyes.
Daniel's eyes were blue. The same glacier shade as his father's, who stood behind Damian with a proud, oafish smile on his visage.
It was infuriating how similar they look. Vlad might not have rapidly swung the room temperature from one extreme to the other, but he can't stop himself from letting the fury burning within his core from slipping out and raising the temperature up a few degrees.
Because it really only meant one thing.
Damian Wayne and Daniel Brown were related.
Damian Wayne and Daniel Brown were brothers.
Standing in front of him, it was clear as day. He can already picture a phantom image of Daniel standing beside Damian, the same scowl written on his face, the same glare carved into his eyes. The only difference being the dark, exhausted circles beneath them that seemed to be permanently painted onto his skin. The only thing missing being the permanent loneliness and vigilance permeating his being like a scar.
This, if revealed, would be enough to ruin Bruce Wayne's reputation. Or, at the very least, darken it quite a bit. The great philanthropist Bruce Wayne with another secret blood child? One related to his youngest? One that had been put into foster care? Seemingly thrown away?
It would be a firestorm.
One that Vlad is not keen on starting.
It would ruin Bruce Wayne's reputation, yes. But it would hurt Daniel in the process -- the harassment he would face alone might just be enough to break that fragile child completely. That was just not something he could allow. Or, even worse, bring him into his biological father's care and custody -- something Vlad was even less willing to allow.
It's not out of kindness to Wayne that Vlad will keep mum about this.
His grip on his champagne flute tightens, just a bit. He's still aware enough of the world around him to not let it shatter in his hands. His plastered, pleasant smile tightens around the corners, and he forces his focus to slide from Damian to Wayne.
"The resemblance is uncanny, Mister Wayne." He says, slanting his smile to the side slyly. Although he's not talking about the resemblance between Wayne and his son. Rage simmers beneath his skin, burning coal and embers in the core of his chest, nestled between his lungs, as he meets the man's eyes.
Wayne swaggles his head proudly, his ditzy smile widening as he squeezes his son's shoulder affectionately. Bastard, Vlad wants to spit.
He breathes in through his nose, and exhales out through his mouth. The champagne in his hand cools, and stops its unusual bubbling.
The Damian boy scoffs under his breath, his mouth still coiled upward into a scowl. With the revelation of his blood relation to Daniel evident, Vlad's not sure if he should find it endearing or not.
He is not Daniel, so he decides that it's just simply irritating. He decides to ignore it.
"And you said he was your only biological son?" He asks, voice lilting and head tilting. He knows its a suspicious question at worst, insulting at best. But considering Wayne's past proclivities, he can hardly call it an unexpected question.
Damian puffs in great offense, face twisting angrily. It reminds him of Daniel when Vlad insisted that he was wrong about something or other, and for a moment his heart swells, fond.
But this is not his child, and so the feeling quickly crashes and burns, simmering back into rage. This was not Daniel -- this was his replacement. A replacement that Wayne was free to keep.
Wayne chuckles, idiotically, as if he'd said some funny joke. Vlad's other hand, the one gripping his cane -- something he's required ever since he was dispatched from the hospital all those lonely years ago -- tightens instead. He grinds his teeth -- him and Jack Fenton would get along like a house on fire, he hates it.
"I can understand why you'd ask that, Mister Masters," Wayne says, squeezing Damian's shoulder again, "but yes, Damian is my only biological son. Although that doesn't mean I don't love my other children any less."
Bastard.
For all his posturing and flouncing about caring for his city and his children, Vlad never would have thought the Prince of Gotham capable of abandoning one of them.
But, well.
They all have their dark secrets.
And what one man throws away, another man picks up. If Bruce Wayne didn't want the treasure child that was Daniel Brown, then Vlad Masters was more than happy to take him instead.
"I see."
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc au#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc ficlet#dpxdc fanfic#i was hit with this idea two hours ago and was hit with the intrinsic need to write it down#parental vlad masters#protective vlad masters#vlad is currently going 'OH? OH YOU ABANDON AND REPLACE **MY** SON??? MURDER. DEATH. BEES UPON YOUR FAMILY'#but he's also still like. evil. much less of a creep! but evil. so he comes off a bit possessive. which was intentional.#vlad's reaction is kinda valid if it was accurate and bruce DID willingly and knowingly abandon danny. except he didn't. he has no idea#danny is even alive. vlad doesn't know that tho. we all love a good reasonable misunderstanding :]#hc that vlad needs a cane as a human because the ecto-acne that killed him fucked his nerves up a bit as a result and now he's got a bad le#and is also immunocompromised. which had a slight hand in his 20 year isolation thing.#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn danny au#stillborn danny#vlad masters#this may or may not be canon to the au im still thinking about it#vlad acknowledges that danny is formiddable but he's also not wrong that a media shitstorm like that would hurt him considerably.#diamonds are the toughest known material to man and yet it still shatters like glass when put under pressure. vlad's right he's fragile#ummm anyways yeah Vlad finds out first and promptly decides to go 'oh okay so fuck you personally actually. keep your replacement child'#he has No Plans on telling Danny what he learned mostly for the obvious selfish reasons and also bc yeah. this is gonna hurt danny#ITS NOT FUN IF IT ISNT A LITTLE TOXIIIIC#i absolutely know that vlad only swears in deserts which is why its important that i have him call bruce wayne a bastard directly.
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Thinking about how Aziraphale invented lying.
Because Crowley did not lie when he tempted Eve— he told her exactly what would happen, if she took a bite of the fruit of knowledge. She would know the difference between good and evil. He did not lie about that.
But Aziraphale gave away the sword appointed to him by God Herself, and then spun the very first lie to protect himself from her wrath.
Regardless of whether it was a small lie, it was a lie all the same, and a lie directly to God. He, an angel, told the very first lie, thereby inventing the act of lying.
Wouldn’t it be funny if I did the good thing and you did the bad one?
#not art#good omens#gomens#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#aziraphale is an angel and therefore should be a beacon of truth and goodness#and yet he invented lying#crowley on the other hand is a demon who was sent up to make trouble#and instead told truths!! and gave humans the opportunity to truly be good!!!#because goodness is not the absence of evil!!!#goodness is only achieved in spite of evil!!!#and crowley gave the gift of goodness to humans!!#oh god. I am so normal
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He was just being a silly little guy!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#wen ruohan#nie mingjue#lan xichen#JGY's character is the zigging and zagging guy of all time#We love a little meow meow that can bite and scratch and kill you.#We also love a little meow meow that can mewl pathetically!#'He's evil now and torturing his former friend?" ZAG TIME: He's a spy and feels soooo awful about it!!#ZIG TIME: He (probably) didn't need to go that deep into the role and kill as many people as he did.#Something I really love about the sworn brother trio is how they reflect how our feelings distort our perception of others.#Lan Xichen represents how when we love/care about someone -anything they do can be endearing. They aren't manipulative: they are clever.#Its less about rose tinted glasses and more about reframing every look you get of them. The constant justifications you make for them.#They just need a space to be loved! “They care for me so I will stand by them no matter what to show them I'm there for them!”#While NMJ represents how when you dislike someone - Everything they do is an affront or proof of their foul character.#Everything is a sign. Everything is 'proof' they are just as awful as you want them to be. Every 'good trait' is twisted.#The problem is that most people are just human. They are flawed and they are capable of good and bad things.#Meng Yao's motivations are very complex. Yet he's extremely human all the same. He isn't the saint nor the monster of the story.
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I do think that referring to Essek as irredeemable for regretting his actions only because he was caught and risked losing his friends is both kind of reductive to him as a character and a misunderstanding of the concept of redemption arcs in media.
A person generally isn't changed because you sit them down and hand them a bunch of political theory to read. They change because their circumstances and relationships do. It's like that guy who was deradicalized because he got a bunch of shrimp and started to care for them. It’s our relationships that change us, because they give us not a logical but an emotional reason to do so.
Caleb explicitly says "these people will change you" (or something along that line; I don’t remember the exact quote). Essek, before the m9, didn’t genuinely care about anyone. The people who would die if a war started because of his actions were irrelevant and abstract to him. Caleb, similarly, also started c2 not really caring about others. He had no interest in taking on Ikithon or the Assembly to save others from going through what he did, too preoccupied with his own trauma and his own goals to care. In that sense, he started the campaign in a similar place as Essek post ep. 97: regretful, but too busy wallowing in his own self-loathing to productively do anything to prevent future harm due to his previous actions.
Being with the m9, being reminded of the importance of other people and realizing that they’re capable of caring for them, is what changes Caleb and Essek both. Of course Essek starts out more concerned with losing the nein than with strangers killed in a war. They’re his starting step, the opening through which he realizes that the people hurt by his actions are real, that he cares, that he has the ability to, if not undo his harm, help stop furthering of it.
#critical role#cr2#essek thelyss#nella talks cr#esseks return has brought back old essek discourse#and I'm taking the excuse to ruminate on the nature of redemption in fiction#like lets not forget that essek starts out categorized as literally evil#caleb had over a decade to carry his guilt and regret before the entrance of the m9#he wasn't good yet but he hadn’t been evil for a while#(and lets not pretend young caleb wasn't categorized as evil. he was brainwashed sure but he was just as responsible for his actions as any#radicalized young adult who made the choice to hurt others. boy tortured and murdered people bc he believed in nationalistic propaganda)#essek in comparison spedruns his redemption bc he has the m9 from the start#but he’s still going to need some time. you can’t expect him to immediately Become Good
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